Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Timing.
Two people (1 and 2) at a table in a restaurant. They are reading the menu. A server (S)
approaches.
S. Hi guys and welcome to Brass Rails and Fixtures, Café and Brasserie. My name
is Vale and I'll be your serving person this afternoon. Here's our menu (hands out
menus to 1 and 2).
1. Thank you.
2. Thank you.
2. Well, actually......
S. First we have our "Brass Knob", one half pound all beef Texas range sirloin
served with a slight hint of jalapeno, garnished with arugula and dusted with
freshly ground Madagascar ginger.
"The Parlor Fan" is a zesty combo of crisp Romain lettuce, Boston bib, endive and
thinly sliced yellow zucchini tossed in raspberry vinaigrette with just a hint of
garden mint.
"The Gilded Grate" features a quarter pound ranch ostrich burger, lightly covered
in golden yellow Stilton and served on a bed of poached leeks and celery, gently
spiced with freshly ground pink Indonesian pepper corns.
S. (continuing) what kind of sparkling water would you like with that?
S. From a pitcher?
S. Yeh, sure. Why don't I just go and see and you guys decide on your order.
2. Thank you.
S. Be back in a jif!
1 Well, let's have a look at this. (Picks up the menu.) See anything?
2. No.
2. Same difference.
1. Actually, I don't even remember what they were.
1. Baskin Robbins?
1. Maybe.
2. Or Dunkin' Donuts.
1. Donuts?
2. Same thing. All this illusion of choice. All those donuts: cream filled, jellied
filled, chocolate covered, vanilla covered, sprinkles, sugar, cinnamon. And they all
taste exactly the same.
1. No they don't.
2. Yes, they do. Put a blindfold on and they all have the same super sweet
sickening taste.
2. That's not the point. The point is that life is the same way.
2. The water?
S. Pardon?
1. Yes.
S. You can't be tempted by our specials - The Brass Knob. The Parlor Fan?
1. Ice tea.
S. Ice tea?
S. Yes, of course. The tea is sun brewed Japanese sweetened with all natural fruit
pectins.
S. (to 2) Ready?
2. Not sure.
S. Why don't I give you a few more minutes? Let me get your tea and I'll come
back.
1. Thank you.
(S goes off)
1. It's not like you have that many choices. It's only salads or hamburgers.
2. That's just it, There aren't many choices and I don't like getting stuck with The
Brass Knob or the Bronze Hinge.
1. Why what?
2. Yes it does. It's the same problem. No choice. You get stuck with things and if
you want to eat it has to be either hamburgers or salads.
2. So - big deal, rice or noodles . It's still the same. It's still all that greasy stuff they
put on 'em and still the same nose that I got stuck with.
1. What in cripes' name has your nose got to do with any of this?
2. Everything. Just look at this nose! Why should I have to get stuck with this
nose?
1. At what.
2. My nose! .....What am I talking about?
1. Who cares?
1. See what?
1. I don't see ...... Oh yeh, ...Good grief ..! It's a little tine red spot. You hardly
notice.
2. It's a pimple.
2. Yes you can. And did I ask for it. Did I have a choice?
1. Well,....
1. I'll have the cheeseburger with bacon and mushrooms and a glass of ice tea.
S. Sees what?
S. Excuse me?
2. This, right here (pointing). The pimple on the end of my nose!
2. That's just the kind of thing I mean. People look at you and say - "Did you see
that guy/girl with the pimple on his/her nose?".
2. No - no. You're proving my point. People look at you and what do they see? Not
me! No, it's not me they see, they look at you and point and they see the pimple on
your nose. Did I ask for this? Did I have a choice? "There goes that guy/girl with
the pimple on his/her nose."
S. I only meant that I have the same problem, greasy food does a number on
my .....
2. Order the salad and starve, order the hamburger and give people something to
look at.
2. You have nothing to apologize for. This is the story of my life. Did I ask for any
of this? Did I ask for a big nose with a pimple on the end of it? What choice do you
have?
1. I'm not sure if I'm still hungry. Maybe you should just cancel my order.
S. I under.......
1. All right. (trying to compose) I'll have that hamburger with mushrooms and
bacon.
2. Nothing for me.
2. No
S. One hamburger with mushrooms and bacon and an ice tea. (To 2) And....?
1. Nothing.
S. Nothing.