Topic 2: Stop comparing yourself to other people

I. Introduction (Phương)
Attention : “Comparison is the thief of joy.” —Theodore Roosevelt
- There are many successful, famous people around us
Warren buffet, Jeff bezos, or Hanu’s security guard or even your
friends
why?
https://coccoc.com/search?
query=Stop+comparing+yourself+to+other+people+example

Provide fact:
- Thomas Mussweiler, a professor of organizational behavior, describes
comparison this way: "It's one of the most basic ways we develop an
understanding of who we are, what we're good at, and what we're not so
good at.” (Rachel, 2021).
- Study after study has shown that people feel worse about themselves after
spending time on social media. And all that negativity is taking its toll on
our mental health and our bank accounts (Rachel, 2021).
- The tendency to compare ourselves to others is as human as any other
emotion. But it is a decision that only steals joy from our lives (n.d.).

II. Need (CHU LINH)

Cannot be your true self

● Upward comparison has a horrible habit of making people laser-
focused on one area of inferiority over someone else. So, you can
forget your own strengths and superior abilities.
● As a result, you’ll always come off bad if you look at someone’s
strengths (including what they have, like houses and cars) and your
weaknesses.
● You cannot decide your own life, shape your own personality and
create your own way in the future
● It’s like being right-handed and trying to play an instrument with
your left hand
 Lead to obsessive comparing
+ Always feel like a loser or a victim. Literally spend hours each
week on Facebook, LinkedIn, or other social media platforms
looking at what other people have created and achieved, and they
feel sick and depressed afterwards. It’s the constant thoughts of “I
wish I could look like her,” or “I wish I was as successful as him.”
All of these unfiltered comparisons lead to nothing but jealousy
and your feeling worse about yourself
+ Negative thinking Leads people to invest in destructive beliefs (for
example: I’m not rich, beautiful, talented, educated, thin enough to
be lovable). So The unconscious realization makes us become self-
destructive.
+ In her TED talk, Bea Arthur explains that the impulse to compare
ourselves to others comes from “the fear of missing out”
(FOMO) .Arthur emphasizes that people who experience FOMO
are constantly comparing what they have to what they do not have
—an insight that can be applied to the student experience. When
students compare themselves to other students, they are typically
comparing what they lack in relation to another student. However,
focusing on what another student has achieved is not productive. It
does not change the outcome of your own goals and it, more often
than not, wastes time and energy.
Lead to poor quality work
+ When you compare yourself to somebody else, you don’t really focus on
your work. All you think about is how quick you are, or aren’t, seeing
results compared to the other person. It’s distracting and can lead to poor
quality work.
+ For example, if the thing you’re doing is something you enjoy,
comparisons can sometimes make you more reluctant to do it. If you see
someone doing something you are good at, like playing in a band or
writing a novel or playing chess, you might perceive that person as being
a lot better at it than you are, and not want to do it, because you don’t
want to be the worst at it.

Comparisons turn friends and allies into rivals:

 + Comparing breeds feelings of envy, low-self confidence, and
depression. If we constantly compare ourselves to friend’s, We
may feel jealous of a friend's achievements,
+ You end up resenting others for doing well, without really knowing
the true person
+ You might criticize someone in public, trying to knock them down,
often unfairly. Friendships characterized by jealousy or envy may
become toxic -> This can lead to the situation when the friendship
Fall Apart
+ Reported levels of friendship jealousy and related emotions of
sadness and anger in reaction to losing a best friendship (alone)
versus losing a best friendship

III. Satisfaction (MAI ANH)

● Be ok with imperfection:
- No one is perfect — intellectually, we all know that, but
emotionally we seem to feel bad when we don’t reach
perfection. You aren’t perfect and you never will be. I certainly
am not, and I’ve learned to be OK with that. Sure, keep trying to
improve, but don’t think you’ll ever be the “perfect person”. If
you look at it in a different way, that imperfection is what
makes you who you are, you already are perfect.
● Focus on your strengths
- Think of something you are good at and focus on that area of your
life.
- Learn to accept yourself the way you are and be proud of the gifts
and talents you were born with.
● Work on your gratitude journal
- Think about the things that you are grateful for in your life →
write them down in your journal.
- When you feel the need to compare, go back and read what you
wrote in your journal.
- Practicing daily gratitude will help make you feel more fulfilled in
your life.
 ● Be your own competitor:
Instead of focusing on where you are compared to others, focus on
your own progress. Where are you compared to where you were at
this time last year? Or five years ago? showing up everyday and
getting a little better each time.

this perspective allows us to progress faster because we’re not discouraged

by the fact there are people who are better than us.

There will always be people who are better than us and we need to
accept that. If we can accept this, then we can allow ourselves to
celebrate others’ achievements and use them as inspiration for
pursuing our own.

IV. Visualization (TRẦN HÀ)

● You will gain self-esteem
- Letting go of comparing your life with others, you will focus on
yourself and your strengths, talents, accomplishments.
- Jaime Pfeffer “If you’re always comparing yourself to other
people, you’re likely overlooking your own strengths and talents.
You may even hide your talents and strengths”
● You will build self-confidence
- Comparing yourself to other people can cause you to have a
negative image of yourself
- When you focus on yourself the things that make you unique and
valuable, you will build a level of confidence.
● You will be satisfied
- Comparing yourself to others : stressful + depressed
- When you stop comparing yourself, you can have time for
yourself. You will have more motivation to focus on the things that
you are trying to accomplish
- Focusing on what you truly want to achieve
→ helps you feel satisfied.
● Having fulfilling life
- “Be yourself, don’t take anything from anyone, and never let them
take you alive.” - Gerard Way
 - "... To know that you are unique and that what makes you
beautiful, stop comparing yourself with others..." - Harnaaz Sandhu

V. Conclusion
- Action:
+ Stop comparing yourself to others
+ Set a life goal right now
Canva:
https://www.canva.com/design/DAEy5sa5oPI/lKwXgJ4Tij8BAKCRFth9AQ/ed
it