Gonzalo, Jemimah T.

November 5, 2019
GED0110 Sec-25

ESSAY ON GENDER
In exploring my journey as I experienced gender growing up, I would like to adopt the concept of
“The Genderbread Person” in Dr. Cherish Aileen A. Brillon’s lecture series on Gender Spectrum. Dr.
Brillon presents this diagram as a guide towards a better understanding of gender which includes four key
concepts namely; identity, attraction, sex and expression. Biologically, I was born female on October 5,
2001 at Tinoc, Ifugao. The term ‘female’ refers to my ‘sex.’ Sex is a biological categorization based
primarily on reproductive potential and is based in a combination of anatomical, endocrinal and
chromosomal features (Eckert &McConnell-Ginet, 2016). During early childhood, I was introduced to
only four genders: girl, boy, bakla (gay) and tomboy (lesbian) as how they are commonly labeled with
back in those days with the basis of gender expression alone. Gender expression is how we present our
gender in the world, might be the way dress, our preferences on style, and the like (Brillon, 2018). Whilst
gender is actually the complex interrelationship between physical traits and one’s internal sense of self as
male, female, both or neither, as well as one’s outward presentations and behaviors related to that
perception (Understanding Gender, 2012). Having parents who are both Christians, only the first two (girl
and boy) are emphasized.
As it turns out, at an early age, I identified myself as a girl which came out naturally. This was my

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gender identity then. Gender identity refers to our deeply held, internal sense of self as male, female, a

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blend of both, or neither; who we internally know ourselves to be (Introduction to Sexuality and Gender

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Identity, 2019). This is also manifested in my gender expression and attraction as a child. Gender

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expression is how we present our gender in the world as was aforementioned, while attraction
corresponds to what is in our heart and who we express our attraction to (Brillon, 2018). I used to really

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like Barbie dolls, the color pink and other girly stuff for some reason even if my parents didn’t really
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teach me or impose that those stuff are for girls and I should be liking them. In fact, they dress me up like
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a boy most of the time because both of them seem to lack a sense of fashion. My identification as a girl
grew even stronger when for the first time I became attracted to someone, which turns out to be a boy.
Well, it would seem at first that my journey to finding out who I was in relation to my gender was
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a pretty easy and smooth game but no, it isn’t. So at this point, I dressed up like a girl and acted like one,
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until I encountered this scary moment in my life as a child that changed something in me. When I was in
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the first grade, there was this group of boys, which happened to be my classmates who followed me
home. I was with my friend Janice when one of them just grabbed my hand and kind of hugged me from
behind laughing naughtily, then left. “Bastos” that was the word for it. Starting then, I went on dressing
up in a boyish fashion and I was a bit distant with boys. There were times that I fought with them and
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even made some of them cry. A lot of people would notice me and say I should dress and act in a more
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feminine manner because I look like a “tomboy” or lesbian. But deep inside I’m a girl and I know it.
Quoting from Dr. Brillon (2018), “Sometimes you are what you wear..but sometimes you are not.” This
went on, then there came a time when a girl actually confessed her feelings for me. Having these
persistent impositions, I started having questions about my identity for some time. But, getting through all
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these and after a couple of self-reflections, my gender identity remained the same. I’m a girl, a woman. I
might not express myself in a girly fashion anymore, but I identify myself as a woman and I’m attracted
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exclusively with males up to now.

Gender is a pretty tough thing to figure out, speaking from experience. Getting through all these
burdens, impositions or even oppression from the society is pretty challenging even for a girl like me. In
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experiencing gender, I did not only know myself more in the process but I also got to understand better
where people are coming from or what they’re struggling with. Through this, I came up with better way to
treat them, as how I would also want myself treated; with love and respect. Whether the person be a
member of the LGBTQIA community, man or woman, etc., no one has the right to impose gender or
judge and oppress someone for the way that they are. A person’s gender should be respected because
whatever he/she presently is or whatever he/she chooses to be, entails a much deeper history and process
that he/she went through in the past.

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 REFERENCES:

Brillon, C. A. A. (2018, August 01). Public Intellectual Lecture Series. Public Intellectual Lecture Series.

Manila.

Eckert, P., & McConnell-Ginet, S. (2016). Sex and Gender. Language and Gender. Retrieved from

https://web.stanford.edu/~eckert/PDF/Chap1.pdf

Introduction to Sexuality and Gender Identity. (2019, August 9). Retrieved from

https://www.ucl.ac.uk/module-catalogue/modules/critical-introduction-to-sexuality-

studies/CMII0046.

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Understanding Gender. (2012). Gender Spectrum. Retrieved from http://www.pflagsf.org/wp-

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content/uploads/2012/12/Understanding_Gender.pdf

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