ffi

Morons from
lnner SPace?
a critical look at

*KAIW#fr channeled
communications
by Phil Hine

The new gurus of the eighties are so relaxed'

They a couple of displaced Gods and. at least one
spirits,
smell of big money but it's okay you know? Californian Oifpnin. But whilst the Spiritualist mediums did the
happened to
perfection. Healthy suntans and capped-teeth smiles'
So tabie-rapping bit to try and contact whoever
say that they are
sincereit hurts your eyes to look at them' The channelers' Ue passing on ttre astral, the channelers
higher beings pop into the
Well-fed children of the New Age, hip to
pop psychology .otrtu.t Jay the entities. The
blips back to
and spinning out the message you wanrt to hear most' channelers tody, delivers its message, and
channeler with an air of
Cosmic tove, heatth and happiness' Forget Red indian from whence it came, leaving the
gets you a '' now-what-did-I-miss-folks " serenity'
Shamans, EST and designer drugs' Channeling
no mess' no danger' It's
direct line to the Gods. No fuss,
for The old saying"it doesn't matter what you say' it's the
ihe perfect plug-in religion' Squeaky-clean Voodoo *uy yoo say- it" is certainly true of the- channeling
yuppies. phenomenon. Th" *"ttuge from these- cuddly cosmic
you can feings is overwhelmingly one of love harmony' Love
and-
Make no mistake, the New Age is great when
that profits from V""."tAf, be yourself. We -"
all immortal and we can all
cash in on crystals' It's been estimated -
channeling-reiated activity in the U'S'A
is-as much as ile healed by using the power of the New Age cliches
jargon'
S+OO tnliion a year.( Wow!
I want in' babies!) Seems rays, chakras, auras, colours, and pseudoscientific
if,ing ttuu" *o,r"d well on from the Sixties
version of the A' welter of impressive terms and meaningless
catcfrptrrases. Platitudinous pap fed to
in" it's a case of an uncritical
X"J"ru. Instead of "drop out and tune
in a cartoon universe where no
ijpu, uO and blank out", ut an enclless stream of uuOi"*" eager to believe
one really di"r' no one really gets hurt'
no one really
therapies and cosmic technologies stream
thinks for themselves and I suppose, Napalm doesn't
"^r-ur;"tt
onrl 1,n" market. There used to be a joke about some you of
time to see reatly stickto kids' Rapping with Ramtha will heal
fast-living young stockbroker who never had
his shrini, so tte tti.es someone to do his therapy pr him' yooi t.ntul troubles, and everything ,will become
'gingrr-prorhy' Lazatis may be a higher being' but he
Don't laugh, it's already happening"'
executive and
comes on like a cross between a corporate
At first I thought channeling was just an updated' favourite uncle. He's wise, he's loving' he's
reptay of the Spiritualist Medium boom of
the "u"ryon"',
upl*utt talking to you.
"t
n'ineteenthr"ntu.y.D.D.H-omeremixedasaCD'perhaps?
higher beings' their message
The Spiritualist movement also started in
the States A funny thing about those
each new wave
new age' stays th; same whenever they appear, but
f*fr"t" "t"f) in the first stirrings of that-eras'
Society' the
"popotarity gives them a new mailing address' The
which also spawned the Theosophical oi
everybody's ttreir Red Indian guides, the Theosophiss
ipiiii"uristt irai
Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn' and "Masters"'
favourite naughty dading, Aleister Crowley' Spiritualism- toneO in to vibes beamed out by Tibetan
"u group of Al"irr", Crowley claimed to have been in contact with
guu" p.opr. dir"rt tiJe to the beyond' Any the Gods
put out the cat' turn exFa-terrestrials, and by the nineteen-fifties
ieopr" wiro knew a medium could is alive and
io*n the lights and receive messagesfom the other side were using flying saucers to get about' Jesus
that would be the saving of humanity' well and living on Venus! Now it's the day of the
in
J"tpni" Our fu-n-loving flippery friends have the latest
At first glance, channeling looks very much the
same
wisdom. Lynn Andrews's latest book Crystal
otanetarytrrut
scam.TheStarsareavarietyofhigherentitiessporting
and ii"rnu" a dolphin beaming in dream-visions via a
itpttttlu" names such as Ramtha, Mafu and Lazaris' Eucalyptus tree. Pr-tty cosmic, huh? Here's
a channeling
*ito nu*b", amidst their ranks a sprinkling of
discarnate
message lovingly given by cetaceans:

2
"The brain has two hemispheres, with different, inter- Channelers seem to lack is that of discrimination, which
connected functions. The brain of the planet also has two is very necessary whenever one approaches
hcmispheres. The neurons of one are composed of human communications between humans and higher entities,
beings. The neurons of the other are composed of whether they be dolphins, deities, extra-terrestrials or
cotacean beings, dolphins and whales. It is time for the intelligent poodles from Sirius B. Magicians who employ
two hemispheres to work together, in our individual lives the magical techniques of post-Golden Dawn systems
and in the life of the planet" tend, in my experience, to approach the whole area of
inner-plane contacts with a good deal of healthy
(Tools for Peace - channeled by Andrew Ramer). skepticism (another quaiity which seems to be sadly
for
Douglas Adams eat your heafi out. So long and thanlcs lacking in new age philosophy). Thelemic magicians
all the fish. It's the standard stuff about the Right often test. the validity of a contact by, pronouncing those
Brain-Left Brain divide that fails to be convincing. Surely fateful words " Do What Thou Wilt Shall be The Whole
if the whales were really hip to what's going on they'd be of Tlte Law", to which the entity makes the suitable
into the new brain paradigms - holography and rejoinder, or disappears, shrieking, into the nearest astral
psychoneural monism. It's interosting however, that very discontinuity. A similar check involves mentally
often, the fonts of wisdom appear to be endangered projecting the seal of the A.'.A.'. onto ths entity. The
species. Dolphins, Red Indians, & Aborigines have all cross-examination of entities using symbolism and
sulfered extensively at the hands of us well-fed White gematria is also often resorted. Such methods, together
folks. We ripped off the wealth of the Asian subcontinent with ritual (or other) techniques help ensure that the
and then swarmed over there in droves to seek spiritual beings invoked are who they claim'they are. Like most
enlightenment. Maybe behind all this new age bit is the other magicians who go around invoking all manner of
guilt of the overfed trying not to feel impotcnt while the 'orrible things...sorry, inner-plane adepts.. I've received a
world changes around them. That's what is so attractive wirie variety of communications from various entities
about the channelers' entities. They don't ask us to do over lhe years. The major difference between me and a
anything as unattractive as look at what's happening channeler is that I don't think the kind of entities I hang
bchind the scenes. No, they wrap reality up in ribbons out with are good role models for the new age audience
and glitter so that life becomes a conlinuously-looping (maybe if I cleaned up my act a bit - who knows?). These
Walt Disney dreamworld. communications are only relevant to me and I'm certainly
not going to offer them up as great cosmic insights. What
What seetns to be implicit here is that messages from I do tlemand is that they make sense, if only in terms of
"higher beings" (whatever their alleged source) are what I've been doing recently. Any one can go on about
automatically benign and helpful. Quite a turnabout from cosmic love, harrnony, beauty and heavy karma (..maan)
the 'fifties, when the aliens brought to us by Hollywood but it's much more instructive when the message is
came down out of the skies to ravage, rape our daughters informative,in terms of pointers on how to look at a
and take over the world for no very good reason. Maybe particular issue, problem, or internally-consistent
they've just changed their act. After all, they should know symbolic messages. There does seem to be a kind of
by now that if they come barging in with death rays cumulative degeneration of the quality of such
blazing we'll just nuke them into radioactive debris. So communications. Having read quite a wide variety of such
they've adopted the soft-sell approach - they're going to stuff recently, tr see a kind of pattern emerging. The initial
love us to dcath, 'till we're smothered under a security con[act with an entity can produce some quite startling
blanket of bliss. transmissions - in terms of synthesising information in
They've also found a message that is attractive - one that new ways.Then, as the recipient becomes more and more
says it's ok to have money, a Porsche, etc, and that bound up with the communications, they degenerate in
spirituality is about loving yourself. Channeled entities terms of quality of information until one is hearing the
witt tett you abopt your wonderful past incarnations in kind of cosmic mind-mush which, rhough it sounds good,
Lemuria or Atlantis, what you did, who your panner was is rather obvious. It seems that, the more a person
and so forth. There is even an element of spiritual sale identifies (in terms of ego-involvement) with an entity,
sex involved, as some Channelers practice a form of the less original the topics of communication become.
psychic energy-sharing using crystals placed over the Before long the recipient of such messages begins to hail
ttt ttut of Channeler and client. Quick, somebody tell themselves as Priest/Priestess of the "mysteries" revealed
Richard Branson! The higher beings naturally have had a exclusively to them, and the foundation of a small cult
lot to say about AIDS, the message ranging from AIDS that is going to save the world shortly follows. All of
being the result of negative karma (?) to an ultimately which begs the question of just what is going on when we
benign attempt at social engineering. The quality that the contact these entities? A difficult one, this' How we try

J
 are how we
how we structure meanlng perceptual limitations' Inner-plane entities
and answer it says more about into chaos' They
of
inner realms' The tend to conceptuallse these windows
;;;ty ".toul
o'gunisation
is that all these entities ;;;^t indeiendent entities so that we can make sense
Channeler-type answer of course ;;';; incoming dau' Their personalities
-belief
are usuallv
beings hanging aboutaround the astral Hence the
;;*^;*^1, ."paru," party) until^ ,onrurr"nt with the
recipient's .system'
(no doubt ut u itu"'-"=nding cocktail on.where vou
nlanes
J"uu"t reassurance to a gpup of ;;;
f;.*. of the entities' depending
"dilil,il'to and the il"i.i". itt" seat of wisdom is' be it ESYP! Sirius B' or
second mortgages Usually' it seems'
some draughry monastery in Tibet'
disease'
t""tl'ntit'"0*t heart
Dow.Jonesindex.AnufferSkepticmightanswerthatthey aoto,natically generated as one focuses
unreal' A magician might these entities a,"
." and therefore towards any one vector' but
"ri1*"ginary
*hil" th"t" endries do not have a whollv *ill -O imagination as.an act of will' so
;;; }rai
not fictitious People o""u.ionaffy en-tities can be generated
;bj;il;;istence, they are within which personal
to oi"tft" imagination as a source of ;at*];Q;s$" can be established
-either'
and eventually
still tend speak
thaiis somehow less ieat than everything
else' il;, ;;i innerworlds can be At this,point
explored
the whole
inner-plane contacts i;r*;;
into one's psychocosm'
"-p"ri""""
lriint"r"rting
-U" model for examining of tht t*p"tience breaks down' as
f""""0 within William Gibson's novel' iJ;;rh" "reality" in
.--- characters is an these entities
are not simply "seiondary personalities"
itororouo.er. one of the major
ifr" pu,frofogical sense, but constructs
w!11-are
"yt::::.'.
Artificial Intelligence which manipulates a cast of humans -properties- of our information-processing capaclty
do this itmust
to further its own ends' To successfully It ini"'ru.ting with that which lies beyond
it'
it wishes to manipulate'
establish a rapport with those it
- personalities which
il;;it Ly gen".urin E constructs
of
Sohowdoesthisrelatetothehigherbeings.ascontacted
Channelers? I feel that this is a
question
wears like masks' ttt'i'ing them
oui of the memories * ;; n*'i ug"
"Rgain, from personal experience' most
rhe humans it wishes io Jontu"r.
It explains that it needs ;i ;!g,;
point access - an interface - magicians I have encountered
who make use of
iit"*-.*tt to establish a of-
contacts are doing so as
part of
going beyond
beNeenitsownexperienceandtheperceptuailimitsof innerworld
ilit*t; of normatity; of finding ay ed.ge.and pushing
human beings. in abyss
accounts of it repeatedly over it' sifiing for insighs
brought very much to mind "*r"fttt cin te tther hand' the age channelers
Reading this new
human-entity contacts' Pariicularly
a sentence in Dion ;;;;y;; equivalent
Doctrine' which reads: ;; ; want nothing more rhan theItspiritual they
rotion"'t Tte Cosmic pacifier. is^as though
"from outside the
"What we are you cannot realise and
it is a waste of time "i."'"_ov_navoured-infanr
are channeling not so much
lnformation
on much from within it -
human knowledge-pool, but very
us
,o ,ry-A but you can imagine (italics.mine)
do so
your of culture in
;" il; phne and we can contact you through ,tr"":'itigrt.-uutio,ity" control programs .a
not real or materialism and a
ilil#;ano tr,ougtr vour.mental lit'Yl" is n""O of"u mysticism which embraces
of the world' Strip
bland, "I'm Ok - so there!"
and actual"' view
act;I, the results of it are real the O]tlt"U Eastern
of inner-plane contacts ffi' *" therapol jargon and.
Dion For$ne made extensive use in his i-,yrii.ir*, and the nt* ig" consciousness is revealed as

;;;;th;;;; her magical ideas' Alan Richardson' An escape route that

;i";t;nnt ;f Dion Foftune' Priestess' discusses the il;;;.tcam of the Si=ave-Gods' involve risking or
leads nowhere, because it does
not
figures that Fortune claimed to be
in
various historical its attraction for those who
challenging the ego' Hence it' the world
contactwith.Themostinterestingentityisone..David gurus',Let's face
Fortune'. was a young need to follow creeds and
Carsons", whom according to ;;;;t"nt daunting plice' If old adept in
the first world war. .some.lvise that "life"
British officer who was riuJo ouring iti" ft; ii"ioun coriint lookaliketord volt
biographical information
Foftune provided a good deal of on dte astral ptane was an endless round of Dynasty-style
research' Alan course in Asral
conceming Carsons, -a ut'"t thorough parties, wouldn't you-irr' signing up for a
did not exist! Rather' it
Richardson states thai Carsons Projection?
of the above model' a
;;;;;, t'e *as actualv, in terms out of Dion Fofiune's
;;;il;; a personatitv'and
generated
;;il;;r"l' magick experiences' and hence an
interfaceforaccessmg-information.Ifyouimaginethe
and knowledge as a
sum total of your perslonat memories
;il;;;;1pu." -' the unknown - then to extend vour
a window must be
ffi;;; oi inror*ution it it as though
be
or raw data' can
created, through which the unknown' in terms of
translated into informati"" ttt" is meaningful