SODOMY AND SPIRIT{JALITY

by Phil Hine

I remember very well the first time I got fucked. icons of Shiva mounted by Kali. Social conditioning
Exhausted and relaxed after all-afternoon sex, I lay is strong enough to make some Gay men feel that
sprawled on my boyfriend's bed and uttered those anyone who takes it up the arse is somehow less
fateful words "do anything you want with me". than 'male' beczuse abandoning oneself to pleasure
From the corner of my eye, I saw him pick up a is not appropriate 'male' behaviour. Why not?
glass bottle in the shape of a unicorn, filled with a Penonally, I feel that being fucked is a celebration
yellowish liquid, and I knew what was about to of my maleness. I hardly ever feel that I have
happen. I had no fear, only a deep sense of relinquished my personal power (unless of course
relaxation. It didn't hurt, but at the moment of there is role-play of 'surrender' as a sexual game).
penetration, one self died and another was reborn. A I often feel a sense of power 'over' the lover who
meaningful 'initiation' that gave me insights which I fucks me. His pleasure and ejaculation reaffirms my
will now attempt to collect into a coherent article. own inner power. Somewhere in his magical diaries,
What feelings does being fucked stir within me? Crowley said something to the effect that he liked to
Two words perhaps describe them best - abandon- think that "when a man fucks me, it is because I am
ment and possession. In being fucked, I am beautiful". The exhaustive records of Crowley's
abandoning my ego-defences, opening myself at a sexual opera (such as The Paris Working) show that
deep level to another person, and able to cast aside he much prefened !o be the receiving partner when
the socially-crafted 'masks' I put on to deal with the it came (pardon the pun) to homosexual sex-magick.
world. I allow myself total pleasure, and the Yet the importance of his sex-magick with partners
pleasure of my lover. I cross back and forth between such as Victor Neuburg has tended to be overlooked
the borders of ecstasy and agony, until I am by those who have inherited his magical philosophy.
moaning and crying uncontrollably; soft liquid fire Any ideas why?
in my belly and a fierce tingling that seems most The intensity of these feelings - of abandonment
discernable at my fingertips. I haven't yet had an to pleasure and possessing another, and at the same
orgasm from being fucked alone, but thep, ejacula- instance, of being possessed, I have encountered in
tion and orgasm are mostly two different another setting; that of the shades of trance ranging
experiences for me, and ejaculation seems unimpor- from overshadowing of a spirit upon my conscious-
tant, compared to the sensations which threaten, it ness, to the full possession by a spirit during ritual
seerns, to tear my body apart when a lover is inside and dance. The possession-trance is dubiously
me. A lover's orgasm within me brings about a regarded in western occulture, just as allowing a
feeling of deep peace and satisfaction. I feel man's cock inside them is anathema to many men.
revitalised, and can go forth into the world with an In many ways, allowing my pyche to be entered by
inner glow. I regret deeply, in these AlDS-conscious a spirit (Goddess, God, or whatever) stirs the same
times, that I cannot receive into myself a lover's feelings as being physically fucked. The key seems
semen. Yet it is as though in abandoning myself to to be the conscious or willed displacement of the
another, I reaffirm my sense of selfdom. ego tro another - of offering up my body as a vehicle
At the same moment that I abandon myself, I am for the transmission of energy. Crowley hinted of
possessed. This is difficult to write aboui, but it is this in his essay on devotional magick
@hakti
linked, I feel, to a common misperception about Yoga), Liber Astarre (Magick, p4ffi - 471). The
intercourse - the concept of 'active' and 'passive'. ultimate in Bhakti is being entered by the spirit one
For myself, I prefer the words 'giver' and 'receiver'. is working with. One Beltain, I drew the Goddess
Our miserable, patriarchal conditioning has given Eris down from above me and Pan from below me -
rise to the conception that 'active' = 'masculine' and they met somewhere in the middle and I lost
'passive' = 'feminine'. I have increasingly come to consciousness in their climax.
reject this sort of thinking. Just because one person Jean Genet suggests that a homosexual relation-
(male or female) takes a lover's penis into their ship "obliges" men to discover the 'feminine'
bdy, doesn't necessarily mean that they are elements within the pyche, but that it is not
'passive'. This is clearly illustrated in the Tantric necessarily "the weaker or the younger, or the more

Everything is Permitted 27
gentleofthetwo,whosucceedsthebetter;butthewhich-havelong'beenrepressedisgenerallya
more experienced, who may be ]!e .oo'git""i
iii" ry*".tfYi source 6f "n"tgy' which can be magically
truth directed' of course'
There is 6me

ffi
older man." lgueretii-oi ai"t'!'

ffHffi#F*_?ffi
iui,tr conditioning
-and
what
Tfeminine'
supposed to
is
qualities. Thus we
be
are ^C.,ts
'F g
-'- =-:- iffi
-==#Gt=* : F
'#'il'T"li.f,:i
imaicutine' and

Sii:*t*"""H:,",i'l'H:are feminine and that

"rno,ion.
and be intuitive
int"ff-"auuf analysis is masculine' Says who?
isi critlques of conditioning make lhlnoint
Femin-
that
femininill
we
E
onfy- nio* what masculinity-. and
a-re

u.ilr"t" irt"y have been specifically defined' Work-

;lt'"1#J*l"J:T*Ttff:i:i{':"'JiT'"qff[.iA€ .;€=.,

'"X;f"lf; :"Jil[1i[::''il"tff'Hil;j:tt .:gff..=#,, .--=#:,i

#il5il:'lJ,l'*:x'"-"*"-r#*#t?"x*": iT=nffi.,,,,
and still give your penis to another man'
You can
of pyche and still
celebrate the masculine elements
receive another man's cock into vou"tri'6oJo.'*i t"*t1-P:::':Ji:,tl,,Y"f ;: T|*#su'fl
::T';ff$::'l#1fi#f;"il: ffiffiil"*il
be the p"i*"ir Tr,rv
g1f
There is
g trea*t homosexuarirv in one or two wavs'
th" atrmonition rhat it is wrong - it
_ what would
humans afrer alr, "irh",chakras' 're,:^e:ses' the kundalini or
were? Imposing our nalrow limits uponft.t
it ti'
blocks your
,creates'a dark astral vortex', or more positively,
miss the whore point of invoking them.
I invoke to and that
go beyond my pres.ent-ilti,u,ioni - to join momen- that the gender of partners doesn't matter'prefer the
I
iOe-il'A; the 'eneigy' is-the.saine'.Obviously
tarily with somethlng.greater, o, out u tutt", poiition, though,I feel that things are not
that
sometimes my lovei becomes to me .
coo, oi to this latter view
you? simple. rtre writers" 11il^"]:."'.
Goddess . or is that too freaky for works properly
An early conditioning_block for me was the tend to stress that sex-magick onlywhich is true to a
mistaken assertion that fro-m a Tantric
poin, oi ui.*, within an established relationship'
all the faces of Gay
sex between men had no value. g"*.t.t, .t i
-uno point,. U"i *^ify excludes
culture *tti"tr straight society finds so
became more comfortabre with ,nv rr.iing, i:*1.
disturbing -,angny1-ojrt.:"*; S&M' and
group sex
longings for sex *in-..", I soon OisatuseJ?ysef p.r,i."i.fiv rn tne uK at least, there seem to be few
of this notion. From experience, t "un'L"y1ilii i are attempting to write intelligently
(or
have had equally strong Tantric op"ri"ilJ.r"ii,i E:tl*ti"
menaslhadpreviouslywithwomen.Sensations*o,.i.po'tantly,re,etinet2aboutthepossibilities
in of Cay-frtitive "iantra' ino tneapproaches
only group which
such as the 'Bliss-wave'; seeing ty rou*JuintJ proviO'es' suppor-t and magical
specifi-
gold light; the total-body orgasm. .ni il;;;;tA cally taitorid for gay- men is the international
just.-as-possible
sensitivity to kundalini aciivity are the issue of spiritua-
as
-i. 'un
in a homosexual parrnership in_ a #;.fr',o;;r vo,iooo'N"twork. H;tr;fuqy., asthe wider gay com-
within
one. Anal intrr"ouo" enectivJ'-i;t ;i lity raises its profile declare themselves'
srimulating *re murJhar.-"hukr., despite"wnl;il;
;i"try, and moie gay occultists
that my this situationwill change'
sex-magic manuals ;;;ht *y' r'*ouid.*"y then' I dare
,re to assert that being
be'
sexual experiences *iti otn6r nr"n tnutT'u"ti^
grtltJ'1 Jo,
^ "o*lude
or iuctcing p, {gt me, an intensely sacred
rise ro the experiencei describeo in raniril'V;lt;i. ryked in the celebration of
have been all the more powerful due
to the obvious experience; tnat siirituality.lies
desires pleasure than the denial of the body'
element of catharsis - being able to u"tuiii" 'uihtt

Nothing is True
28