EDG 551 Module 3 Week 2 Discussion Post

Leta Hollingworth wrote collectively about specific concerns for the social and emotional
development of gifted students. Many of them were related to friendships. Do these
concerns still apply to gifted youth today? Why?

Yes, the concerns about the social and emotional development of gifted students related

to friendships written about by Hollingworth still apply today. Based on Hollingworth and

other’s observations, the students most challenged in developing friendships are the most gifted.

Hollingworth noted, “the difference between exceptionally gifted children and their age peers

was so drastic that it led to problems of social isolation” (Hébert, 2011, p. 199). She went on to

say, “the more intelligent the child, regardless of age, the less often he or she was able to find a

true companion” (Hébert, 2011, p. 199). While moderately gifted children “easily found and

maintained friendships of age peers” (Hébert, 2011, p. 199), exceptionally gifted children

struggle to form friendships stemming “from the lack of other children who were like-minded”

(Hébert, 2011, p. 199). Given that Gross (2002) wrote, “The need for friendship and, even more,

for emotional intimacy, is a driving force in both children and adults” (para. 1), it is even more

imperative that educators and the education system develop more ways for our gifted students to

find true connections and relationships with friends.

Throughout Chapter 6, Hébert wrote about the importance of friendship for all people and

especially about the importance of gifted students finding other like-minded peers to develop

these friendships. In his own observations Hébert noted, “I have come to believe that the most

important way in which educators and parents can help a gifted child is to assist the child in

finding one soul mate” (2011, p. 205). He also wrote, “bringing together intelligent children

who share the same interests will enable them to develop relationships with others who

appreciate their passions” (2011, p. 205).

 Hollingsworth’s observations make it clear that it is important to allow gifted children

opportunities to socialize and interact with other gifted children who are like them. Gross wrote,

when highly gifted children who were not accepted socially by their age peers were

removed from an inappropriate grade placement and permitted to work and play with

their intellectual peers, their loneliness and social isolation disappeared and the children

were seen as valued classmates and friends (in Hébert, 2011, p. 201).

This could take the form of gifted programs where gifted students are grouped together during

the school day or in extracurricular activities such as science clubs or summer programs.

Silverman defended this stance when he argued, “Boys and girls alike are happier and better

adjusted when they have opportunities to relate to other gifted children” (in Hébert, 2011, p.

206). This could also be in the form of accelerating gifted students so that they are with mental

age peers instead of chronological age peers. Hébert included studies demonstrating the positive

impact accelerating students has on gifted students’ social and emotional development. One was

a study by Miraca Gross who “examined the long-term effects of acceleration and found

significant social and emotional benefits” (in Hébert, 2011, p. 202). In addition, Gross and her

colleagues demonstrated that “failure to accelerate gifted students was associated with

adjustment problems” (in Hébert, 2011, p. 203).

My experience as an educator is limited to high school so I can only enumerate on what I

have seen at the high school level regarding ways that schools allow gifted students to connect

with each other. One way that high schools facilitate gifted students finding friends is by

providing opportunities for acceleration through AP or honors classes. Students will find other

students in these classes who are dedicated to learning or interested in the same subject. Another

way that high schools facilitate gifted students finding friends is through clubs. Examples of
clubs I have seen are chess club, anime club, environmental clubs, and social justice clubs.

Within these social spheres, students can find others with similar passions and interests which is

an important aspect of friendship.

Are these interventions and opportunities adequate in encouraging and creating

friendships for gifted students? Based on Hollingworth’s finding that “loneliness and social

isolation experienced by many exceptionally gifted children is most intense before the age of 10”

(Hébert, 2011, p. 204) it seems that the most intense and purposeful interventions in connecting

gifted students needs to occur in the primary grades. Considering the loneliness experienced by

our youngest gifted students, it seems that friendship interventions in high school come too late.

I wonder if the reason that the isolation is strongest in young children is because they have not

had the opportunity or life experience to find others like themselves. Does this isolation

dissipate over time because they finally find a soulmate or is it because they just accept their

loneliness and become comfortable in their isolation?

High schoolers still struggle to find their place and their people. I had a freshman, Cindy,

in my Algebra class who is highly motivated athletically. She did well academically in my class

and completed all assignments above and beyond the requirements. However, she totally broke

down one day and left the classroom. I talked with her in the hallway and she told me that she

just feels so lonely. She had not made any friends yet and it was November. That took me by

surprise. I contacted her coach who was able to arrange a meeting between Cindy and the senior

members of the team at the school. Cindy was ecstatic. She had found others who were like her.

Hollingworth addressed 11 concerns, 5 of which relate to friendship. They are: adjusting

to classmates, being able to play with other children, not becoming hermits, learning to ‘suffer

fools gladly,’ and conforming to rules and expectations (in Hébert, 2011, p. 199). All of these
concerns still apply today if we are not able to connect our most gifted students with one another.

Our brightest students will continue to be isolated if we do not provide avenues for them to

develop relationships with people who have a similar drive, passion, and/or interest. We are not

yet at the place where we, as an education system, can confidently say that we are giving all of

our gifted students a place to belong.

References:

Gross, M. (2002, May). “Play partner or “sure shelter”: What gifted children look for in

friendship. http://www.davidsongifted.org/Search-Database/entry/A10255

Hébert, T. (2011). Understanding the social and emotional lives of gifted students. Prufrock.