Purest Persuasion

Assignment 1: Discover the organizing Frame of Reference

Persuasion starts with really listening to what is actually being said before we start
offering suggestions or trying to change their minds. It’s mission critical that you
quickly map to the speaker’s model of the world, so you can determine how they are
holding and organizing the frame of reference under discussion.

We always start from inside their map or model. This starting point, working from
within their map and extending it to places it has not been is what makes this form of
persuasion so powerful.

We never just throw stuff at a wall and hope something sticks, by being intentional,
methodical and working to a clear outcome at each step, you can dramatically
increase your ability persuade others.

This first thing it requires is for us to unhook from the common fixation or need to ‘be
right’, instead choosing to focus on how we can be effective – in this case figuring out
how to be persuasive to the person we’re in front of.

This starts with getting inside the listeners map or model and calibrating to the way
they perceive the world.

If you can’t do this, you are likely to find persuading others to be a far more difficult
and complicated task than it can be.

Assignment:

Choose an issue that a person is convinced is ‘so’ or true. It can be almost anything,
but for this assignment we suggest you steer clear of traumatic or highly emotive
issues that will evoke a strong negative response.

You are not there to judge, interfere with their world view, or make them wrong.

Things will go smoothly if you bring an attitude of exploration, curiosity and one that
validates their perspective. You don’t have to like it or agree with them, you simply
are holding a state of non-judgement to elict high quality information about what
conclusions they have come to and how they have done so.

Use the Meta Model Compass and Framing Tool as helpful guides to help you direct
your questioning and map how what the person is saying is the right and only
conclusion they could have come to, given how they have perceived and processed
their experiences about the topic under discussion.

At the current time of writing, Donald Trump is the 45th President of the United States
and his win has US Citizens polarized with some saying “Trump is an idiot!” while
others believe “Trump will make America great again!”

Both conclusions are a result of going through a specific body-mind process that will
involve a series of thoughts, assumptions and inferences processed through the body.

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Both people may have seen the same news talking about Trump, and yet two people
can come to very different conclusions about what Trump is.

Each side is convinced they are right. And their feelings of certainty lead them to
believe they are.

The process is the same for any number of topics. A something happens, we
categories it, label it and stick a meaning on it. Left unchecked that label stays with
the object. Divisive hot-buttons like Trump can make for good learning opportunities,
because the contrasting opinions and conclusions drawn can be so dramatic. However
caution must be advised, if you lead with a divisive topic. If unsure, choose something
far less emotionally charged.

Either way your job is to use your skills to:

• Figure how what they have come to conclude is the right and only thing that
they could conclude given their map or model.

The Meta Model Compass:

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The MBNLP Framing Tool:

Useful questions to help guide your thinking are:

• What makes this conclusion the right thing for the speaker?

• What must be true if what they are saying is valid?

• What are they paying attention to?

• Where are they paying attention?

• What were they paying attention to?

• What precedents, influences, biases, expectations or causes exist or are being

referred to that lead them to form the conclusion they have?

• How many instances/experiences/examples have they had to lead them to

think what they say is so, is indeed true?

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• What else may be influencing the present conclusion that has not been
expressed in the current statement/conclusion?

• How and what are they valuing in this situation?

• How is X conclusion important to them?

• What are specific examples that lead them to think the way they do?

• What function does this conclusion serve?

• What intention is trying to be fulfilled by holding this conclusion?

• What has to be true about the world if what they hold as true is valid?

• What are they overlooking? (i.e. what’s missing that has not made it to their
map or model?)

• What are the most likely consequences or benefits in the present situation,
given what they have said?

• What will they be paying attention to given what they have concluded thus
far?

• What information/events if they occurred or are occurring are likely to

reinforce the present conclusion?

By the end of this process you will have a much deeper understanding of the speakers
map/model and how what they say is true is true, from their perspective and the right
thing for them to believe given how they embody their experience.

Practice going through this process with a variety of people on at least a dozen
conclusions so you begin to develop the muscle to be able to do this automatically.
The more you practice the better you will become.

At the end of the interaction, take a few moments afterwards with yourself to
summarize their conclusion and articulate how they came to the conclusion they did,
even if you are totally confident they are dead wrong!

It helps to visually map it out.

The following 3 step process will help organize your thoughts:

Articulate the SCPC of the experience:

Situation/Context/Problem:

What was the situation, context or problem that arose?

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E.g. Obama 2nd term in office was up and a new President had to be elected.
Donald Trump ran and defeated Hilary Clinton to become the 45th President of
the United States.

Conclusion:

What conclusion(s) have they made?

“Trump is an idiot and a liar!”

Process:

How did they arrive at that conclusion? Describe the process.

What were they paying attention to and how?

For example:

“First he said build a wall, a big great wall of all things! Like that is going to
work. Then he tried to ban all Muslims, then he hung up the phone on
Australia’s Prime Minister, then he tweeted Obama wiretapped him and there
is no evidence of it at all, then he did X… [long list of examples]. The man is
an idiot, surely you can see that?”

Even if you disagree strongly with whatever position a person you speak to is
saying don’t make them wrong. That’s not the objective of the assignment!

Figure out what has been taken as so that makes what they have concluded the
right and only thing they have decided?

Figure out what they are paying attention to that make everything they have
said appear as ‘truth’ to them.

Consequence:

What can you predict about their behavior and attitude given what you now
know?

Example: They will process everything that President Trump does through the
filters of “Trump being an idiot and a liar” which means they will doubt his
claims about what he has done, believe that he must be telling lies, look with
suspicion on others who hold an opposing view (that Trump is good and will
America great again). Perhaps actively try and persuade others to the same
point of view etc.

Go through this process with 20+ people. You’ll find it’s insightful, eye-
opening and you will learn how to quickly discover the frame of reference that
binds their worldview together.

Go start some conversations! The more you practice, the better you’ll become.

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