MyWor

stMi
stake

I
nser
tOne

Iwassi tt
ingbymy sel
fbetweent hedeser t
ed
woodwor kclassesjustreadingabook, Idi
dnt
haveanyf ri
ends,wellbecauseIwasnewatt he
school andal r
eadyinmat ri
c, andalsobecauseI
wasashyguywhowast erri
bl eatapproaching
people.Ilivedmyl i
feaspr acticall
ytheinvisi
ble
man." Hey "Iheardagirl'
svoicesoIl ookedup,
shewasst andingont hetopoft hestai
rs
smili
ng
Me"
hi"
Her"
wahl
alawedwa?Ar
eyouokay
?"
Me"I'
mjustr
eadi
nganov
el,
awayf
rom t
he
noi
se"
Her"Iknowwhatyoumean"shehadapret
ty
smil
eandkindeyes.Wehl
aizt
epswazohl
ala
ecankwam "
Im Lena"
Me"
Lina?
"Shechuckl
edandshookherhead
Lena"
ha.
aitsLenanotLina.
..
li
keLi
nat
hior
Li
namandl
a..
.j
ustLena"
Me"
whati
sit
?"
Lena"
anengl
i
shname,
wena?Ngubani
elakho
i
gama?"
Me"
Im Zusi
phe"
Lena"
It
sni
cemeet
ingy
ouZusi
phe"Ismi
l
ed
Me"
yout
ooLena"
Lena"
souf
undant
on?I
sitagoodr
ead?
"
Me"
uhy
eah,
itsSi
dneyShel
don"
Lena"
oohhIl
ovehi
m!He'
sgr
eat
"
Me"
nyan?
"
Lena"yes,
Ihav
eacoll
ect
ionathome,
we
shoul
dswapbookssomet i
me"
Me"
Iwoul
dlov
ethat
"
Lena"ar
eyounew?Ndi
yaqal
aukubonat
his
year
"
Me"yeah,i
tsabi
tawkwar
d..
.bei
ng 
thenewguy
kwagrade12"
Lena"Ithi
nkitsawkwardbeingthenewguy
peri
od!"ShelaughedandsodidI"Im sor
ryf
or
ukuphazamisaitsjustt
hat
,Iusual
lycomehere
forsomequiettime"
Me"
oht
henIshoul
dbesor
rymos"
Lena"
noneed,
wecanshar
e :
) 
"
Me"
thanky
ou"

LenaandIspenttherestofthebreakt ogether
.
Shewassof unnyandeasyt ogetal ongwith
pl
usshewast hefir
stpersonokhe
wandit
hethi
saeskolweni.Afterbr
eakwewent
ourseparat
eways,sheint hephysicsclassand
mnaint hehi
stor
yclass.
Aft
ersi
phumi l
eiskol
o,Imademywayback
homebutxandphumaegat i
nisomeonecall
ed
outtome,Itur
nedandi twasLena.Ismi
ledand
wait
edforherwadewazof i
kakum
Lena"hey!Uhlalakweli
phii
cala"Ipointedint
he
di
recti
ony asekhaya"gr
eat!Nam ndihlala
ngakhona,let
swal kt
ogether"
Me"okaybuti
tsalongdistance,
doy
ou
nor
mallywal
k?"Shelaughed
Lena"
notr
eal
l
ybutt
odayI
m wal
ki
ng"
Me" okay"wewal kedoutsoy 2keepi ngthe
conversati
oncasual andli
ght.Lenawasl i
keme
i
nmostway s,shewasal soal oner,shel i
kedt o
keeptoher selfandwehadmanyi nter
est sin
common, i
twasf unnyhowIhadj ustmett he
gir
lkodwashemademef eelsocomf ortable
aroundhert hatIdidntfeell
iketheshyl oserI
tr
ulywas.Nay eshewasntpopul ar,i
nf actshe
wasnot hi
ngl i
ket hegirl
seskolweni ,her
unif
orm skirtwasbel owherknee, shet i
edher
hai
rint
oaponyt ai
l
,woreout
datedoffseason
gl
asses,shehadawashedoutpull
over.
..
infact
i
twasnthardtoseewhyshehadnof ri
ends :-
/

Wear r
ivedatherhousefir
st,
itwasj
ust4
housesdownf r
om mi ne.
Lena"
wantt
ocomei
nforadr
ink?
"
Me"
arey
ousur
e?"
Lena"y
eah,mydadwontbackf
oranot
herl
i
ke3
hour
s,heswor
kingt
il
ll
ate"
Me" okay"shetookouttheremotecontrol
led
keysandopenedt hegates.Mymout hfell
open,
herhousewasnot hi
ngl i
kewhatIhadimagi ned.
Abeaut i
fuldoubl
estoryhouse,
Icouldntsee
from t
heout si
debecausetheyhadtallwall
ed
fenci
ng
Me"
thi
siswher
eyoul
i
ve?
"
Lena"
yeah,
mydadboughti
t3y
ear
sago.
..
he
thoughtIneededthespace :) 
"say ongena
endli
nianditwasev enmor ei
mpr essivethan
outsi
de."I
mj ustgonnagochangeoutofmy
unif
orm,hlal
aandI '
llber
ightback"sheshowed
met otheloungethenwajikawahamba

Iwal kedar oundt hehugel i

vingspace, theyhad
alargef latscr eenedt vmount edont hewal l
,tal
l
speaker st hatpr obablyshookt heent ir
ehouse
whent hev olumei sonmax .Therewer esome
picturesofawhi teguyandLenasoIguessed
bangut atawakhe, shedi dhav el aelementy oba
shei smi xed, hersi l
kyl onghai r
,hazel brown
eyesandofcour se,hername.Ndaci ngaba
may behermom i sblackbutIcoul dntseeany
picturesofherandLenadi dnotment i
onher
mom xaet hethangef ami lyyakhe, i
nf actshe
onlyspokeaboutherf ather.Isatdowni nthe
comf ortablesof acouchesandl ookedar oundi n
awe, Lenamustber ich, i
swhatIt houghtto
my sel fbutshedi dntlookl i
kear ichper sonand
def
ini
tel
ydi
dnotbehav
eli
keone

Lena"awufuni siyeeback?Theweat heri

s
amazing"Iturnedt ofacethedoorandshewas
standi
ngtherei nalongdr essthatwasnt
fl
atter
ingatall,herhairf
elltohershoul
dersand
shewassmi l
i
ng
Me" yeahsure"Ist
oodupandf oll
owedherout.
Thebacky ardwasast oundi
ngt oo,t
helar
ge
ter
racewi t
hmoder ntablesandchairs,
abig
overf
lowingpool,agardenwithabenchswi ng,
awat erf
ountainandanamazi ngv i
ewofthe
beach
Lena"sit
,I'
l
lgogetsomesnacks"Ipul
l
edouta
chai
randsat .Lenacamebackwit
hatray
wayibekaphantsi.Ther
ewer
edri
nksand
snacks"youokay ?"
Me"
yes,
I'
mjust
..
..
I'
m awed.
..
yourhousei
s..
."
Lena"
big?
"Ichuckl
ed
Me"
yes 
:)
 "
Lena"y
eahwel
l
,you'r
etheonl
yper
sonf
rom
school
who'
severbeenher
e"
Me"I
m honoured!"Shelaughed"
sot
ell
me.
..
uh.
..
whats yourdeal?"
Lena"
whatdoy
oumean?
"
Me"wel
lImeanli
ke,
youl
i
vei
nahousel
i
ket
his
buty
ouare.
..
."
Lena"mymom leftmeaf t
ershegav ebir
t hto
me,sheandmyf atherwerenotreal
lytogether.
Iam t
heproductofmymot herusingmy
dad.
..
youknow,agol ddi
ggingty
peofsi tuati
on"
Me"oh!
"Iwassur
pri
sedbyherr
evel
ati
onbutI
want
edhertogoon
Lena"whenshef oundoutshewaspr egnant
shetri
edtogetmydadt omar r
yherbutt hei
r
famil
i
eswer eagainsti
ty ouknow. .
.t
her aci
al
thi
ng 
- _
- 
sowhenIbor n,sheleftthehospital
andneverlookedback.Idontev enknowwhat
shelooksl
i
keandmydadnev
ert
alksabout
her
"
Me"ohI
'
m sor
ryt
oheart
hat.
..
Icantevenbegi
n
t
oimagi
newhatl
i
femustbeli
kewithouta
mom"
Lena"wellIhavenointer
esti
nmeetingmy
mother"Inoddedndingayazbandi
thini,
Idi
dnot
knowherwel lenoughtohaveanopiniononher
feel
i
ngsaboutumamakhe

Lena"
sowhatabouty
ou?
"
Me"
whataboutme?
"
Lena"
tel
lmeabouty
ourf
ami
l
y"
Me"ohwell,
Iam thel
astborn.
..
Ihave2ol
der
br
other
s,r
aisedbybothourparent
sandwe
movedherebecauseofmydad'snewjob"
Lena"
all
boy
shuh?Mustbeni
ce"
Me"
yeahmybr
other
sar
ecool
.Thef
ir
stbor
nis
worki
ngandt
hesecondi
sinhi
slasty
ear
ev
arsi
ty"
Lena"
sohav
eyoual
way
sbeenal
oner
?"
Me"yeah,unl
ikemybrothersIhavebeensuper
shyandIhaventbeenunabletocomeoutofmy
shel
lyet
.Whyar eyoualoner?You'r
esucha
ni
cepersonandy oudontseem shyatal
l"she
l
aughed
Lena"inthebeginningallIeverwant edwast o
fi
tinyouknow, Igrewupwi t
hawhi tedadsoI
tr
iedtobewhi tebutasIgr ewol der,people
point
edoutt hatIwasntwhi te,
soIt riedtobe
bl
ackkodwaandt hatswhenImademyv ery
fi
rstf
riend.ShewasaXhosagi r
l whot aughtme
howt ospeakisiXhosa..
.Ievenmademydad
payforXhosal essons.Imeanhal fofmei s
XhosamossoIf i
guredIshouldl earn"
Me"whathappenedt
othef
ri
end?
"Shet
ooki
na
l
ongbreat
h
Lena"
shedi
edl
asty
ear
..
.l
ungcancer
"
Me"
I'
m sor
ryt
oheart
hat
"
Lena"it
sokay ,
scarsheal ri
ght?Anywayaf t
er
thatIf
inal
lyacceptedthatIam LenaSept ember
anditdoesntmatterwhet herIam blackor
whiteorcolour
edormi xed...
.Iam j
ustmeandI
dontcareaboutfit
tingin, andift
hatmeans
beingbymy sel
fthen...
.."sheshrugged
Me"yout
alkedt
ome"herf
acebr
okei
ntoa
smi
l
e
Lena" Iknow,I'
vebeenseei ngyouaround
school uhambawedwasowhenIsawy ou
alonet odayagain.
..
IthoughtIj
ustapproach
you"itwasmyt urntosmi l
e
Me"
wel
lI'
m gl
ady
oudi
d"

Ispenttherestofmydaywi thLenaandIhad
somuchf unIalmostforgotIhadtogohome.
Wandikhaphanjekanci
nci t
henwajikaandI
walkedtherestofthewayhome.
Ndaf
ikaendli
niandIwasallsmi
les,Ihadmade
anewfriendandshewasawesome.Mymom
wasi
nt hekit
chenepheka,
ndayotshi
ntshai
nto
mynormal cl
othest
henwenttohelpher
Mom "
sohowwasschool
?"
Me"youaskmethatquest
iony
onkei
mihl
aand
i
tsal
waysthesameanswer"
Mom "wel
lev
erydayIhopei
twi
l
lbeadi
ff
erent
answer
"Il
aughed
Me"well
todayi
tis,
Imadeanewf
ri
end 
:)
 "
herf
aceli
tup
Mom "
real
l
y?!
"
Me"
yes,
hernamei
sLenaandshei
ssocool
"
Mom "
oohhagi
rl
fr
iendhuh?
"
Me"hahahamom!No!Shei
sjustagi
rlwhoi
sa
f
ri
end"
Mom "
okayt
hen,
sowher
eisshef
rom!Tel
lme
abouther
!"ThenIstar
tedtalki
ngtoherabout
Lena.
..
Iknowwhaty ou'
rethinki
ng,tot
almama'
s
boyri
ght?WellnobutIam reall
yclosewit
hmy
mom, wegetalongreal
lygreatandIcant
i
maginelif
ewithouther.

Iwokeupear l
ythenextdayandIwasact ual
ly
excit
edaboutgoingt oschool .LenaandIwer e
goingtowalktogether.Iquicklyprepar
edf or
school,
mademyl uncht henIwasoutt hedoor .
Ndayofi
kangakuloLenaandshewasal ready
waiti
ngbythegate
Me"
mor
ning"shesmi
l
ed
Lena"mor
ning!
"Saj
ikasay
indl
elaukuy
a
eskol
weni"
so,sl
eepwell
?"
Me"
li
keababy
,you?
"
Lena"
met
oo 
:)
 "
Me"
Ihadsuchawei
rddr
eam t
hough"
Lena"
ooht
ell
meabouti
t"
Me"
it
sembar
assi
ng"
Lena"ohcomeon,
youcant
ell
me.
..
we'
re
fr
iendsr
ight
?"
Me"
yeah"
Lena"
theny
oushoul
dnev
erbeembar
rassed
kum"
Me" okay 
: )
 "soonthewayt oschool,
Itold
heraboutmydr eam andshedidntthi
nkIwas
weirdorcrazy,i
nfactshefounditsoint
ruigi
ng
thatshesaidweshouldlookupitsmeani ngon
theint
ernet.

Atschool weseparatedxasisiyatoourclasses
thenreunit
edngebr eak.Wesatunderat r
ee
kwi gr
oundsandshar edourl unches,Iwas
surpri
sedthatuphathailunchinsteadofimali
,
anotherthi
ngthatdidnotmakeherseem l i
kea
ri
chper son
Me"
so,
whatdoesy
ourdaddo?
"If
inal
l
yasked,
kudal
andi
rhal
ela
Lena"heownsani nvestmentcompany ,
some
propert
iesandahotel 
: )
 butnother
e,it
sin
Seattl
e"Ichokedonmybr ead
Me"
int
heSt
ates?
"Shenoddedwi
thasmi
l
e
Lena"yeah,
weli
vedther
eacoupl
eofy
ear
s
befor
ewemov edbackhere"
Me"
wowsoy
ou'
vebeenov
erseas?
"
Lena"
uh.
huh.
..
forl
i
ke3y
ear
s"
Me"
yho!Youhav
eli
vedmos"shel
aughed
Lena"youthi
nkgoingtot
heStatesisl
i
ving?
"I
nodded,wonderi
ngwhyshedidntseem
psychedaboutherti
meinthestat
es
Me"yeahi
ttot
all
yis!Ihav
enev
erbeenout
side
Sout
hAfri
ca"
Lena"i
twasqui
tel
onel
yket
ana.
..
Ihadt oleave
i
ndawoIcall
edhomeandmyonefriendfor
ukuyat
oaforei
gnpl
ace.Mydadpromisedt hat
i
twouldbeforacoupl
eofmonthsbutwe
endedupstay
ing3year
sbecauseoft
hehot
el
busi
ness"
Me"
ohI
m sor
ryt
oheart
hat
"
Lena"
heworkedal
ltheti
meandIwaslonel
y,I
di
dntseeany
thi
nggreat
,Ijustwant
edt
ocome
home"
Me"
wel
lIst
il
lthi
nki
twoul
dbef
un"
Lena"maybe,i
fyouhadsomeonet
ogowi
th"
shelookedatmeandsmiled
Me" y
eahmay be 
:) "wecarr
iedoneating
whenLiyabona,t
hemostbeaut i
ful
gir
linmy
cl
asspasseduswi t
hherfri
ends.Icoul
dnthel
p
butstar
eather

Lena"y
ouli
keher
?"Ihear
dLenaaskme,
I
tur
nedtof
aceher
Me"
ahem!No!Ugh..
.whywouldIl
ikeher
?!She
i
swayoutofmyleague"shel
aughed
Lena"hahahamm okayifyousayso"she
shruggedwit
hasmilethenbiti
ntoher
sandwich
Me"
socanIasky
ousomet
hing?
"
Lena"no,
Ihavenev
erhadaboy
fri
end"
ndahl
ekakakhul
u
Me"
howdi
dyouknowbandzobuzal
ont
o"
Lena"
Isawi
tiny
ourey
es 
:D 
"
Me"wow,i
fit
sthateasyf
ory
out
oreadme
t
hen.
..
."
Lena"usengxaki
niboet!
"Il
aughedagai n
"anywayIhaveneverhadaboyinterestedi
nme,
Ili
kedaguyoncebuthedi dntf
eelthesame
way ,
Ihaveneverevenhadmyf i
rstkiss"
Me"
forr
eal
?!Wow!
"
Lena"
ja,
whatabouty
ou?
"
Me"
Ihadagi
rl
fr
iendonce,
kudal
akodwa"
Lena"
soy
ou'
vedat
edkay
ionenj
eqha?
"
Me"yeah,
Ihav
eneverr
eal
l
ybeenabl
etoget
i
att
enti
onyegi
rl
s"
Lena"wearesuchloser
sIswear"webot
h
l
aughed.Ihadfoundmyspir
itani
mal 
:)
[
12/
02,
08:
35]Ron:
MyWor
stMi
stake

I
nser
tTwo

Ast heday sturnedintoweeksandweeks

turnedi nt
omont hs, myfri
endshipwithLena
grewandwebecamecl oserwitheachdayt hat
passed.Get tingtoknowherwast hebestt hing
thatev erhappenedt ome, shewassocool ,
funny ,smartandjustadel i
ghttobear ound.We
didev eryt
hingtogether,
shemetmypar ents
andt heylovedher ,
especiall
ymymot her.I
guesssheki ndofsawherast hedaught ershe
nev erhad.Wewentt othemov ies,shopping,
thebeach, games. .
.ever
ywhere!Wehadt heki nd
offri
endshipthatmostpeopl ecanonlydream
of.ShemademesomeoneIt houghtIcould
neverbe,shegav emet hecouraget ostepout
ofmycomf or
tzone,shemademel aughand
smileevenwhenIdi dntfeelli
keit,
whenev er
shewasar ound,Ifel
tthispositi
veenergy
aroundme.Wehungoutatherhouseandmy
houseev er
ydamnday ,l
iketherewasnodayor
ti
mewhenwedi dnotseeandspendt i
me
together
.

ItwasnowApril
,j
ustanot
hernor
mal dayat
school
.LenaandIwerepassi
ngbythenoti
ce
boardwhenwesawanot i
ceforatal
entshow
torai
sefundsf
orourmatri
cdance
Lena"
ooohhhyoushoul
denter!
!This
compet
it
ioni
stotal
l
yforyou!
"Ilaughed
Me"
what
?Nev
er!
!"
Lena"comeon!Youhav
etoshowthesepeopl
e
up!Youhavet
hemostamazingv
oiceIhave
ev
erhear
d!"
Me"
Lena,
youknowIcantdot
hat
!"
Lena"
whynot
?"
Me"
Icant
..
.i
nfr
ontofal
lthosepeopl
e?"
Lena"whatar
eyousoscar
edof
?Andi
thi
Iwi
l
l
beri
ghtbyyoursi
de?
"
Me"
Ijustdontt
hinkt
hatI
m..
..
"
Lena"goodenough?Thatyoucandoit
?That
youwill
bebettert
hanallt
hosefakewannabes?
WellIt
hinkyouwil
lbethebest
,youwil
lshow
ever
yonethatwonder
fulvoi
ceyouhave!
"
Me"
Lena.
..
.!
"
Lena"Zusi
phe!
"Shegav
emet
hatador
abl
e
encouragi
ngl
ook
Me" no!
"Shegavemethepuppyey
es"
okay
f
ine"thenshebr
okei
ntoasmile
Lena"gr
eat
!"Wakhuphai
penfr
om herpocket
thenwandi
nikay
ona.Iwr
otedownmyname,
wel
lnotmyreal
name"Zero?
"Sheaskedaf
ter
ndi
bhal
eigamalam,
Ichuckl
ed
Me"yeah,
Ial
waysi
maginedt
hati
twoul
dbemy
st
agename"shel
aughed
Lena"
Zer
o?Li
keanal
terego?
"
Me"
yes,
Iknowi
tsoundssi
l
ly"
Lena"actuallyi
tsnott
hatsil
l
y,mostcel ebr
iti
es
haveoneandZer osoundscool"Ii
nhaledone
l
ongbr eaththenndamnikezaipenyakhe" I
'
ll
hel
pyoupr acti
se"
Me"youbet
ter!Si
nceyou'
ref
orci
ngmei
ntot
his
any
way"shelaughed
Lena"j
ajaj
a -
_- 
"Il
aughedt
hensahambal
e
sasi
yi
hamba

Afterafewdaysallt
hosewhohadsi gnedup
forthet
alentshowwer ecal
ledi
ntoameeting
duringt
hesecondbreak.Iwenttoshowmy
faceandmyner vesescal
atedxandbonawho
wasgoi ngt
opart
akeintheshow.All
the
coolestboy
sandgir
ls,
Ifel
tli
keanoutcast
ndi
ngenanje.Anawkwardsil
encefel
lasI
walkedin
Liyabona"ohsorrybhut
ibutthi
sisonlyfort
he
performers"shesaidt
omeandIf eltl
ike
runningout.Inoddedandstart
edtoturnbut
someonehel dmyar m
Lena"weknow"shepul
l
edmei
nsi
de"
wewi
l
lbe
partoft
hetal
entshowt
oo"
Li
yabona"
oh?
"Sheseemedshockedand
l
ookedatt
hesignupsheet"
Idontseey
our
names"
Lena" doy
ouevenknowournamesLi
ya?
Besidesnoonewrot
ethei
rreal
namemosso
nathikewedidt
hesame"
Liya"
alr
ightt
hen,
shal
lwestart
"LenaandI
foundsomeseatsandsatdown
Me"
whatwast
hat
?"
Lena"makingsureyoudontpunkout"Il aughed
kanci
nci
.Liyaspokemoreaboutthet alent
showandshewasj ustsobeauti
fulIcoul dnt
stopst
ari
ngather"stopstar
ingcreep!"Shehi t
myarml i
ghtl
y
Me"what
ever
! 
:)
 "fi
nal
l
ythemeet
ingended
andwewereal
lbr
ief
edonwhatwasexpected
of

Luvo"heynerdbrain!"Hewast alki
ngtome,
thatwashisnicknamef orme,GodIhat edthat
bastar
d!"Sowhat syourtal
ent?Beingat ot
al
l
oser?"Andtheyalllaughed,i
ncludingLi
yabona
Lena"andwhat syoursLuvo?Beingatotal
ass
hat?"Wat hulaakaphendul
a" t
hatswhatI
thought,sowhydonty our
unal onguyo
practi
sery ourl
itt
ledumbst andupcomedy
crap"
Luv
o" andwhatdoy ouknowkewenaf oureyes?
Whatsy ourt
alent
?Beingavi
rgi
n?"Baphinda
bahl
ekaf
uthi
Lena"soifmineisbeingavir
ginthenwhat
s
yours?AnSTDmobi le?"Hetwist
edhisl
ipbut
didnotanswerinst
eadwajikawahambaand
theother
sfol
lowedhi m

Lena"
ughwhatanass"sher
oll
edherey
es
Me"
buty
oucanhandl
ehi
m kakuhl
enj
e"
Lena"
I'
vehadmypr
act
ise"
Me"
Idontknowi
fIcandot
his"
Lena"
ify
oudontwantt
odoi
ttheny
oudont
havet
o"
Me"Ido,
I'
mjustner
vous"
Lena"Iunder
standandit
sonlynatural
forashy
guyli
keyoubutt r
ustme,you'
regonnabegreat
"
Me"haveyoueverper
for
medi
nfr
ontofan
audi
encebef
ore?"
Lena"
hahaper
for
m what
?Iam ast
orywr
it
er,
notaper
for
mer
"Il
aughed
Me"
ri
ght
!"
Lena"comeon,letmebuyy ousomet
hing
befor
eibreaki
phele"shel
i
nkedherar
m with
minethensayaetuckshop

LenaandIpr actisedev ery

dayaft erschool and
ontheweekends, sheev enhelpedmewr itemy
perf
ormancesong.Thegi rlpl
ayedt heguitar
andsangbeaut i
full
ybutev eryti
meIaskedher
tosi
ngwi thmeatt hetalentshowshewoul d
j
ustlaughitoffsay i
ngi twasmyt ime.Tobe
honest,Lenawast r
ulythebestt hingtoev er
happent ome, sheinjectedaf ul
lnewout look
onli
feandIl ovedi t
.

Finall
yyadey
afi
kaimi
niyetal
entshow,Iwasso
ner v
ousmystomachwasinknots.Thewhol
e
thingwashel
dattheassembl
yhalleskol
weni
onFri
day
.TheMCopeneduptheshowandt
he
tal
ent
edpeopl
eshowcasedt
hei
rtal
ent
Luvo"ner
vousnerdbrai
n?Scar
edyouwillcrash
andburnonstageandshowevery
onejustwhat
awhimpy ouare?
"Hesaidtome,Ikeptquiet
butLenaobvi
ouslydi
dnt 
:)
Lena"doyoueverjustshutup?Musty oushow
every
onewhatal owlif
ey ouar
eev erychance
youget?Imeanser i
ously
?Theonl ygoodthing
aboutyouLuvoisthatyouareperhapsjusta
l
itt
legoodlooki
ngbutbey ondthat,
you'r
ereall
y
j
ustanempt yshell
.Sopleaseadjustyour
mouthtocloseandkeepmov i
ng"
Luv
o"whatabouty
ouFourey
es?Doy ouever
j
ustmi
ndyourbusi
ness?WasIt
alki
ngtoyou?"
Lena"shoul
dntyoubeget
ti
ngr
eadyt
otel
lj
okes
thatnoonewil
ll
aughat?"
Luv
o"what
?"
Lena"
youhear
dme?JustGo!
"Her
oll
edhi
s
eyesandsnarledatherogqi bawahambat hen
shelookedatme" dontl ethiminti
midatey ou,
heslikeavul
ture,pr ey i
ngont heweak...
.notthat
you'r
eweakbuti fy oukeepl ookingthatner vous
thenuzobasengxaki ni"Iqui
cklyst
raightened
myf aceandshesmi led"good!You'
regonnado
greatIpr
omiseandIwi l
lbeherethewhol e
ti
me! "
Me"
okay
 :
) 
"

Finall
yitwasmyt urn,Itookmygui t
arandwent
uponst age.Il
ookeddownatt heot her
studentsandIf eltsomet hingriseupi nmy
throat.Thehallwasdeadsi l
ent,everyone
l
ookedatmewi thant i
cipation,l
ikewhatwas
thener dgoingtodo?Andabany ejust
wonder edbandi ngubani .Iheldmygui t
ari
n
placeandl ookedatLena, shesmi l
edandgave
meat humbsup.It ookadeepbr eathand
closedmyey esthenpul ledont hest ri
ngsoft
he
guitar.Wi t
hmyey esclosedIdr if
tedof ftomy
safepl ace, aplacewher eIusedt oexistjustby
my selfbutnowt her
ewasLenat ooandshe
wast her esmi li
ngandcheer i
ngmeon.Sl owly
butsur elyIsl i
ppedawayf r
om beingZusi phe
SongcaandbecameZer o.Iopenedmymout h
andt hev oicecameoutsmoot handcal m.I
openedmyey est ol
ookatLenaandshewas
smi l
inglikeani diot,i
tbr oughtwar mtht hrough
myent i
rebodyandIf eltev enmor econf i
dent.I
sangmysongt ot hever ylastnoteandwhenI
wasdone, Itookabow.Ther ewasascar y
si
lencet hensuddenl yev eryonebrokei ntoan
applauseandscr eamst hatshookt heent i
rehall
!
Lenar anupt ot hestaget ohugme
Lena"thatwasamazi ng!!
!"Ismiledandtook
anotherbowt hensasukaest age.Ifel
tan
adrenali
nerushinsi
deme, t
heexci t
ementof
whathadj usthappenedrippledthroughmy
bodylikeanearthshatter
ingear t
hquake.Ihad
doneit!Ihaddonesomet hingIhadal ways
wantedtodo,Ihadal
wayswantedtoshow
peoplemytal
ent,t
ohavepeopl
ehearmymusic
andIhaddoneit,wi
thabi
gpushf r
om mybest
fr
iend 
:)

Theyannouncedt hewi nnerofthetalentshow

andIwasobv iouslyshockedwhent heysaidmy
name.Theprizewasav ouchertogoeatat
CapeTownFi shMar ketrest
aurantandasmal l
tr
ophy.It
ookmypr i
zesthenndabuy elakuLena
Lena"
yayI
m sohappyandpr
oudofy
ou!
!"
Me"Iwoul
dnthav
edonei
twi
thouty
ouke
kodwa"
Lena"you'
regi
vi
ngmetoomuchcredi
t,y
ou'
re
theonewhowentupther
eandsang"
Me"j
abutwi
thouty
ou,
Inev
erwoul
dhav
ehad
t
hecour
age"
Lena"
mm okayt
hen 
:) 
l
etmeseey our
tr
ophy
"Igav
eitt
oherandshebeamedatme
"
yourmom i
sgoi
ngt
obesopr
oud!
"
Me"
ri
ght
?HahahaIcantwai
ttoshowher
!"
Lena"
canIbet
her
etoo?Iwantt
oseeherf
ace"
Me"ofcourse!Iwouldnevert
ellhert
hesenews
wit
houtyou ^_^ 
"thetal
entshowwasov er
andsowasschool .

AsLenaandIwalkedoutoftheassembl
yhal
l
kubasi
goduka,
Liyabonacametome
Li
ya"
uhhey
..
.Zer
o?"Ist
oppedandl
ookedather
"y
ouwer
eamazingupther
e"
Me"
thanky
ou"
Liya"nof
orr
eal
,Idi
dntknowy
oucoul
dsi
ngl
i
ke
that"
Me"
wel
lnooner
eal
l
ydoes"
Li
ya"yeahy
ousurpri
sedusall
,especi
all
yme
buti
twasapleasantki
ndofsurpr
ise"
Me"
thanks"
Li
ya"
so.
..
uhwhoar
eyougoi
ngt
otake?
"
Me"
wher
e?"
Liya"
thevoucheri
sfort
wopeopl
e,whoar
eyou
taki
ng?"
Me"oh!I
mtaki
ngLena"myanswerwas
aut
omati
c
Li
ya"her
?"Watshoej
ongakuLenawi
than
uni
mpressedl
ookonherface
Me"
yeahsomet
hingwr
ongwi
tht
hat
?"
Liy
a" no,
Ijust
..
.Iwaswonder
ingi
fyouwant
ed
togowi t
hme"myey eswi
dened,
wasLiy
abona
askingmeoutonadat e?
Me"
real
l
y?"
Li
ya"y
eah,i
twil
lbef
un!
"Il
ookedatLenaand
shel
ookeddown
Me"I'
m sur
ei twouldbutI
'
m al
readyt
aki
ng
Lenaso.
..
.r
aincheck?"
Li
ya"
ohokay
,nextt
imet
hen 
:)
 "
Me"cool"shet
urnedandcatwal
kedherway
outwhi
leIstar
edafterher

Lena"
thatwasi
nter
est
ing"
Me"
itwaswasnti
t?"
Lena"
yeahsowhydi
dyout
urnherdown?
"
Me"causetherei
snooneel seIseecel
ebr
ati
ng
myvict
orywithexcepttheper
sonwhomadei t
al
lhappen"shesmiled
Lena"ohyousayt
hesweetestt
hings!Comeon
l
etsgohome"sheli
nkedherarm wit
hmi ne
agai
nthensahamba

Thef
oll
owingday
,LenaandIwentt
othemall.
Wewatchedamov i
ethensay
oty
angevoucher
l
eyam
Me"
nev
erbeent
oaseaf
oodpl
acebef
ore"
Lena"
jabecauseev
eryt
imeIsuggesti
tyou'
re
l
i
ke'
euwnev
er!
'"Il
aughed
Me"
jabecauseIt
hinkseaf
oodi
sgr
oss"
Lena"y
oushoul
dli
veal
i
ttl
eZ"Il
ovedt
heway
shecal
ledme
Me"
jaj
ajasowhat
sthel
eastgr
ossett
hingon
t
hemenu"
Lena"
hake?
"
Me"
hakei
tist
hen.
..
whatwi
l
lyoubehav
ing?
"
Lena"
Iam goi
ngt
obedar
ing.Iwi
l
lhav
esushi
!"
Me"
sushi
?Youmeanl
i
ker
awf
ish?
"
Lena"y
es!Itisactuall
yreal
lygood.Backi
n
Seat
tl
et her
ewast hisplacethatmadethebest
bl
acktrufl
e..
.neyalaphaimnandi"
Me"nothankyou!Hakeplease!!
"Shel aughed
andshookherhead.Weor der
edt henhadour
mealovereasyfl
owingconversat
ionand
l
aughter
.LenaandIweresocl oseand
comfort
ablewit
heachotherthatev enwhen
si
ngat
hethi
,i
tfeel
sli
ket
hebestconv
ersat
ion
wehaveeverhad

Aft
erthemovieswewentbackt
oherhouse
andherfat
herwashome
Me"
aft
ernoonMrSept
ember
"
Hi
m"ohaf
ter
noonZusi
phe,
howwasy
ourday
?"
Me"
itwasgoodMrSept
ember
"
Lena"
wehadfundaddybutnowwe'r
egonna
goupst
air
stot
hegamer oom,t
hatokay
?"
Him"ofcour
sehoney "shetookmyhandand
pul
ledmeupst ai
rs.Ispenttherestoft
heday
wit
hherthenlaterwandikhaphandagoduka
[
12/
02,
08:
36]Ron:
rstMi
stake

I
nser
tThr
ee
Mondaywasschool ,Icouldntwalkwit
hLena
thatdaybecauseherfathertookhertoschool.
Ont hewayIfeltl
i
kesuchani di
ot,
acompl et
e
l
oserwalkingbymy sel
fkubandqhel euhamba
noLena.

AnywayIar
ri
vedatschool
andshewasal
ready
att
hegatewait
ingf
orme
Lena"Z!!Heeeyyyydi
dyoumi sswalki
ngwith
met hi
smor ni
ng?
"Hersmilewasbr i
ght
erthan
thesun,itwasamazinghowshewasal waysi
n
suchagoodmoodnobakut heni
,sheal
ways
hadasmi l
e.Ismil
edtooandwalkedtowards
her
Me"
itwast
hewor
stwal
kev
er!
"
Lena"ooohhhwel
lnextt
imedaddywi
l
ltakeus
both!
"
Me"
soundsgood"
Lena"
comeon,
Ihav
esomet
hingt
oshowy
ou"
Me"
whati
sit
?"
Lena"
it
sonmyphone"
Me" okay"shet
ookmyhandandledmet
oour
usualspotbehi
ndthecl
asseswher
ewef
ir
st
met

Shetookoutherphoneandshowedmeasl i
de
showv i
deoofallourpi
ctur
es,
ourspeci
al
moment sasfr
iends
Me"
wowt
hisi
samazi
ng"
Lena"
youl
i
kei
t?"
Me"
Ilov
eit
,sendi
ttome!
"
Lena"okay 
: D "shesentittomyphoneand
wewat cheditagainlaughi
ngandremini
sci
ng
ofal
lthethingswedi dtogether
Lena"I
'
m sohappywef
oundeachot
her
..
.we
sti
l
lhaveal
if
eti
metomakemorememories
ne?"
Me" ofcourse,Im happyt
oo.
..
.neverimagined
thatmyf i
rstfr
iendwouldbeagi r
lthough"she
chuckled
Lena"yeahwel
lthatmakest
woofus"t
hebel
l
rangandwebothsighed
Me"Ihat
ethi
spartwhenwehavetosepar
ate!
Whyareyounotahi
stor
yst
udent?
!"She
l
aughed
Lena"
Iknow!
!Hahahahawel
ll
etsgo,
seey
ou
ngebr
eakbest
ie!
"
Me"
lat
erLens"shel
aughedagai
n
Lena"that
sfunnycosIcantli
vewithoutalens"
shetappedherglassesandIl
aughed.Iputmy
arm ar
oundhershoulderandwalkedherto
i
classyakhe

Yaqhubelekaiv
ekiandnot
hingspeci
al
happened,li
fewasasnormalasis.
ItwasFri
dayafterl
unchwhensomethi
ngext
ra
ordi
naryhappenedtome,Iwasincl
ass
chatt
ingwit
hLenaaboutnothi
nginpar
ti
cul
ar
wethu
Li
ya"heyZer
o"Iputmyphoneonmyl
apand
l
ookedupather
Me"
heyLi
ya"
Liy
a"howareyou?YouknowIhav entreal
l
yhad
achancetotel
lyouhowi mpressedIwasby
yourper
fomanceatlastweek'stal
entshow"
Me"
oh?Thanky
ou"
Li
ya"youknowZero,youseem l
ikeareall
ycool
guy.I
tsmy18thbir
thdaytomorrow,
I'
m hav i
nga
par
ty.
..
youshoul
dcome! "Mystomachflutt
ered
Me"
what
?Real
l
y?"
Li
ya"yeahImean,I'
devenli
keyoutosingmea
song.
..
ift
hatsokaywit
hyou"shetouchedmy
chi
nandt hehai
rsonthebackofmyneckstood
up
Me"
m-m-
me?
"Ist
utt
ered
Li
ya"
yeah 
:)
 so,
wil
lyoucome?
"
Me"
ofcour
se"
Li
ya"gr
eat!
"Shef l
ashedmeaf li
rt
ysmilet
hen
st
eppedoffmydeskwahamba, l
eavi
ngmewith
a'
whatjusthappened'quest
ionmark?

Duri
ngbreak,Icoul
dntwaittotel
lLenaabout
whathappenedwi t
hLiya.Imetheratourusual
spotbehi
ndtheclasses,Icoul
dnthelpmyself
fr
om smil
ing
Lena"
wont
hel
ott
ery
?"Il
aughedandsatdown
Me"
wel
li
tssomet
hingbet
ter
"
Lena"
whathappened?
"
Me"
Liyai
nvi
tedmet
oherbi
rt
hdaypar
ty
t
omorr
ow"
Lena"
real
l
y?Shedi
d?Wow!
"
Me"
Iknow.
..
Iwasj
ustasshocked.Sheev
en
sai
duf
unandi
mcul
ele"
Lena"wow!Yhothatisbi
g!Iknewy
oul
i
ked
her!
"Ndahl
ekakancinci
Me"
okayf
ine!Ihav
eagi
antcr
ushonher
!"
Lena"
Iknewi
t!Souzoy
ake?
"
Me"
yeahof
cour
se.
..
uyaf
unaukuza?
"
Lena"nahI
'
m good,Idontwantt
oat
tendLi
ya'
s
part
y"sher
oll
edhereyes
Me"
your
eal
l
ydontl
i
keherdoy
ou,
"
Lena"Ij
ustdontcar
eaboutshal
l
owsel
f
cent
eredpeople"
Me" aaahhhokaywel
li
twoul
dhav
ebeenf
uni
f
ubuzobakhona"
Lena"nahthi
sisy ourt
hing,gohavefun..
.you
l
ikeherdontyou?Thiscoul dbeyourchanceat
asecondgirl
fr
iend"ndahlekakakhul
u
Me"
ne?
"Shel
aughedt
oo.
..
..
Thef ollowi ngdaywast hepar t
ybutIhadno
i
deabandi nx ibentoni.Ipackedabagwi thall
mypot ent i
al clot
hesnday indlelaukuyakul o
Lena, Ineededhert ohel pmepi ckout
somet hi ngt owearev ent houghIdoubt edshe
wouldbemuchhel pbecausej ustli
keme, she
wasntaf ashionper son, hert astewasasbl and
asmi ne.Shewor everyout datedclothesand
theydi dnot hi
ngf orherbodyf ramebutwhoam
Itojudgebecausebef oret hatday ,
Icouldnt
havecar edl essabouti mpahl azam

Anywayndayof
ikakowaboandshewasi
nher
room wr
it
ingonalargebook
Me"heywhat
chudoi
n?"Shel
ookedupand
smi
l
ed
Lena"
justsket
chi
ng"Ir
aisedmyey
ebr
ow
Me"
sket
chi
ng?
"
Lena"
yeah,
Isket
chdur
ingmyf
reet
ime"
nday
ohl
alaebhedi
ni
Me"
canIsee?
"
Lena"sur
e"shegavemehersket
chbookandI
pagedthr
oughit
,thedesi
gnswer
eamazing
Me"wow!Lenst
hesear
eamazing!
!Howcome
younev
ertol
dmethaty
oudothis?
"
Lena"uhitsnothi
ng,yi
ntonj
eendiyenzainmy
spareti
me.I twi
ll
nevergoanywhere"Ilooked
ather,
judgingbythelookonherfaceitmeant
moretohert hanshewaslett
ingon
Me"
whatdoy
oumean?
"
Lena"Ij
ustli
ketodoi
t.
..
Imeanyoudomusi
c,
areyouplanni
ngacar
eeronit
?"
Me" nobutf
ormeIknowi
tsj
ustapassi
ng
phase.I
tsahobby
"
Lena"
met
oo"
Me"
real
l
y?Thesearegood!Doyour
eall
ywant
t
obeadoct
or?"Shekeptqui
etandt
hatwasal
l
theanswerIneeded"byy
oursi
l
enceI
m
guessi
ngyoudont "
Lena"mydadwant edmet ostudybusi
nesssoI
cantakeov erthefamil
ybusi
nessonedaybutI
ref
usedsohesai dchooseanothercar
eerwhen
Ichosefashion,hewasagainstitsoIwentf
or
doctorbecauseofbingewatchinggrey'
s
anatomy"
Me"
soy
ouwantt
obeaf
ashi
ondesi
gner
?"
Lena"yeahIguess,
Iwantedt
ogostudyi
nPar
is
thencomebackt oopenmyownbouti
que"
Me"t
hatsoundsamazi
ng!Sowhydonty
out
alk
t
oyourdadagain?
"Shesi
ghed
Lens"sowhatarey oudoi
ngher e?Shouldntyou
begetti
ngreadyforyourpart
y?"Ilaughed
kanci
nciatherchangingthesubjectsoswift
ly
Me"
Icantdeci
dewhatt
owear
"
Lena"si
ncewhendoy
oucar
eabouty
our
cl
othes?
"
Me"
sinceIwasi
nvi
tedt
oapar
tybyLi
yabona"
Lena"aaahhhIt
otal
l
ygeti
t.
..
sowhat
sint
he
bag?"
Me" mycl
othes"Iempt
iedthecontent
sofmy
bagontoherbedandsheransackedthrough
them t
henl
ookedupatme
Lena"
youhav
egott
obeki
ddi
ngme!
"
Me"what?"Shesi
ghedoutl
oudthenjumped
outofherbedandpul
ledmeoutoftheroom

Wer andownthepassagethenstoppedi
nf r
ont
ofadoor ,
sheopenedi
tanditwasar oom Ihad
neverseenbefor
e.I
tsmell
edcleankucacaba
akuhlal
imntu
Me"
wher
eist
his?
"
Lena"myuncl
e'
sroom,hel
ivedwit
husfora
fewyear
sbuthelef
ttobei
nt hear
my"
Me"
real
l
y?Youhav
eanuncl
eint
hear
my?
"
Lena"y
eah!Comeone"shepul
l
edmeagai
nto
thewal
kincloset
Me"
doal
lyourr
oomshav
ewal
k-i
ns?
"
Lena"nah.
..
ez i
kuhl
alaabantuqha.
..
li
kemeand
mydadnekamal umekecoshel i
vedher e"she
walkedovertothejeansandpi
ckedaf ewt hen
thr
ewt hem atme.Thenshewalkedov ertothe
shi
rtsandthrewafewatmeagai n
Lena"
tr
ythoseon"
Me"arey
ouserious?Youwantmet
oweary
our
uncl
e'
scl
othes?
"
Lena"
youwantt
olookgooddonty
ou?
"
Me"
yesbut
..
..
"
Lena"
thent
rustme.
..
iy
aebat
hroom"
Me"okay"ndayaebat
hroom kenyanandwor e
thef
ir
stoutfi
togqi
bandaphumanday akuy e,
sheshookherheadatmewi thadisapprovi
ng
l
ooksoIturnedbackndayonxibaanotherout
fi
t
Wedi dt hisforal mostthewhol eday,Itr
iedon
everythinginheruncl e'sclosetunti
lwefound
theper fectclothesforme.Il ookedinthemi r
ror
andf eltli
keanewper son.Iworeskinnyjeans,a
blacktightt-shirtandal eatherj
acketwith
mat chingsty l
ishshoes.Idi dntknowIhadi ti
n
met ol ookliket hat
.Iturnedt ol
ookatLenabut
shewasntsmi li
ng
Me"
what
swr
ong?
"
Lena"
somet
hingi
smi
ssi
ng"
Me"
li
kewhat
?Il
ookf
ant
ast
ic!
"
Lena"j
abutsomet hingismissi
ng.
..
aaahhhl et
mesee"shewal kedclosertome,withhercute
thi
nki
ngexpressionsprawledal
loverherface.
Shescannedmef r
om headt ot
oethenli
tup
"uh-
huh!Youneedahai rcut!
"
Me"
what
?!"
Lena"
yeah,
wehav
esomebar
bermat
eri
als
her
e..
.Icangi
vey
ouone"Igapedather
 :
O
Me"ohhell
no!Youar
enotcut
ti
ngmyhai
r!
"Her
br
owcreased
Lena"
youdontt
rustme?
"If
rowned
Me"
wel
l
...
whatwi
l
lyoudot
oit
?"
Lena"
justgiveyouanicesty
li
shhai
rcut.
.you'
l
l
l
ookgreat.Ipromi
se"Itookadeepbreat
h
Me"okay 
: )
 "shetookmyhandsabuyelakwi
r
oom yakhe.Shesatmedownt hendashed
wabuyaephethethebarber
'ski
t

Lena"okay!Let
sgetstart
ed"shetur
nedme
awayfrom themir
rorandprepar
edtocutmy
hai
r.Icri
ngedthewholeti
meshecutmyhair
butaft
eranhourorso...
.
Lena"alldone!Wowy oulookamaze!!
"She
spunmear oundandwhenIsawmy sel
f,I
thoughtndibonaomny eumntu.Shehadgiven
met henewt rendyguy'
shair
cut.Hay
ndandi
ngomnyeumnt u..
.IhadnoideaLenawas
sogoodwithfashi
onandt rends.
..
well
because
ofthewaysheis..
.shewouldreal
lymakea
greatf
ashi
ondesigner
Me"
Lena.
..
wowt
hisi
samazi
ng!Thanky
ou"
Lena"
soy
oul
i
kei
t?"Ist
oodupandhuggedher
Me"
Ilov
eit
,thanky
ou"
Lena"
it
smypl
easur
e :
) 
,youl
ookgr
eat
"
Me"al
lthethankstoyou!Youshoul
dntgi
veup
ont
hatdream yefashi
on"
Lena"
yeahwel
l
,you'
regoodt
ogo.
..
hav
efun!
"
Me"wow..
.okay!
"Ihuggedheragai
nbutwehad
beensobusyimini
y onket
hatIhadtol
eav
ecos
i
twasalr
eadylate"Ineedt
ocallacab"
Lena"ohdontworryabouti
t,Fr
eddycant
ake
you"Freddywasherdri
ver
Me"
arey
ousur
e?"
Lena"
yeahhewi
l
lev
enbr
ingy
oubackxauf
una
ugoduka"Ihuggedheragai
n
Me" you'
ret
hebest
!"Shegi
ggl
edandsqueezed
met oo.Ibr
oket
hehugandkissedheront
he
cheek
Lena"al
ri
ghtCi
nder
ell
a,ony
ourcar
ri
ageandof
f
yougo"

Iar
ri
vedatLiya'
shouseandi twasal itt
le
qui
etert
hanIimagined,i
tdidntlookli
ket her
e
wasapar t
yatall
.AnywayIgotoutoft hecar
andrangthebel
latthegate.Thegat eopened
andIwalkedi
n.Shewasst andingatt hedoor
wit
habigsmi l
eandt heshortestt
ightdressI
hadeverseen
Li
ya"Zero!Youmadeit!Comeoni n!
"Shetook
myhandandl edmeinside"wowy oulook
amazing!
!Didyougetanewhaircut?"
Me"
yes"Ianswer
edner
vousl
y
Li
ya"
iyakuf
anel
a :
) 
"
Me"thanks"sadesayophumelaebackandther
e
wereafewpeoplefrom school"
ohsoitsnota
bi
gparty?"
Li
y a"nah,
justani
nti
mat
egett
oget
herwi
th
fr
iends"
Me"oh"wewal
kedtoherf
ri
endsandtheyal
l
l
ookedatmeli
keIwassomekindofal
ien
Luvo"
well
wellwel
li
fiti
sntMusi
qSoulchi
ld
hi
mself
!Sohonour
edtobeinyourpr
esence
si
r!
"
Li
ya"beni
ceLuv
o,Zer
oismyspeci
alguest
"he
smil
ed
Luvo"andspeci
alhei
s :)
 Icantwai
ttosee
whatyouhaveforusthi
sti
meMusi q"I
swall
owedthelumpinmythroatandfakeda
smil
e
Li
ya"come,I
'l
lpouryouadri
nk"shetookmy
handwandi
sakulendabekukhonaukuty
aand
dri
nks"doy
oudr i
nk?"
Me"
alcohol
?"
Li
ya"
yeah?
"
Me"
uhm no"
Liya"f
irsttimef orev eryt
hing :) 
"shepour ed
memyv eryf i
rstshotandIt ookonesip, i
t
burnedmyt hroatsoasIwasaboutt oputi t
down, Liyabr oughti tbackupt omylips" j
usttry
dri
nkital latonce, Iknowi tsbadthef i
rsttime
butitgetsbet ter"Iopenedmymout hand
pouredt hedr inki n,enduringtheburning
sensationi tleftinmyt hroatasitwentdownt o
mychest .WhenIwasdoneIputt hegl ass
down, Liyacl appedf ormet henplantedaki ss
onmycheek, Ifeltallt
hebl oodrushtoonepar t
ofmybody ..
..I
m sur ey oucanguesswhatpar t
thatwas  : -/

Thepartycar
ri
edonandIwasal i
ttl
eti
psyfr
om
theshotandafewdri
nksIhad.Liy
akeptmeby
hersi
deubsukubonkeandIlovedtheat
tent
ion,
Ihadabigcrushonherandal
sosomev ery
uhm x-
rat
edthought
sabouther
..
.sheoft
en
vi
sit
edmei nmydreamsandIwasst i
l
lav i
rgi
n
soo.
..
..

Anywaybacktothepar
ty,
Liy
acamet
ome
wandi
nikaaguit
ar
Li
ya"
ti
mef
ory
out
osi
ng 
:D 
"
Me"ohokay "ndayithat
haandev er
yonewas
l
ooki
ngatme.Ipl ayedandsangSoBeautif
ul by
MusiqSoulchi
ldsinceLuv ohadalr
eadyl
abeled
mengolohlobo.Af t
erwardsther
ewasan
appl
ause,Ismiledandt ookabow
Li
ya"thatwasamazi ng!Bestbi
rthdaygi
ft
ever
!!
"Shehel dmyneckandki ssedme!Right
onthelips,
infrontofever
yone :O !
!Thenshe
br
okei tandlookedatme
Liya"andt
hatismythankyou"Il
ookedaround
feeli
ngshythenIwassavedbymyr i
ngi
ng
phone,
Icheckedandi
twasLena
Me" sor
ry,
gott
ataket
his"Li
yagr
abbedmy
phonefrom me
Liy
a"leav
eit
,Ihav
esomet
hingIwannashow
you"
Me"okay :
) "Iwasntt
hinki
ngcl
ear
ly,
wellI
wasntthi
nki
ngwi t
htheheadonmyshoulder
s
t
hatsforsur
e

Shetookmyhandandwewal kedbackinside
thehouse.Say
aeroominiyakheandshet ol
d
met osi
tdown.Sheleftt
hencamebackwi th
somedr i
nkswandi
nikaeyam thensatnextto
me
Li
ya" dr
inkup"Itookasipofthebit
terdri
nkand
smil
edather" youknowZer o,
you'
rean
i
nterest
ingguybutIwontl i
etoyou,Inever
noti
cedy oubeforeyousangthatdaykodwa
wheny oudidtherewasjustsomethingabout
y
ou..
..
I'
vebeenwatchi
ngy
ouandnowIj
ust
..
..
I
j
ustwanttogett
oknowyoubet
ter
"
Me"
youdo?
"
Li
ya"
yeah,
youl
i
kemedonty
ou?
"
Me"
yeahImeany
ou'
regr
eatandev
ery
thi
ng"
Liy
a"good,
causeIwasthinki
ng.
..
..
thatmaybe
youcoul
dshowmej usthowmuchy oul
ikeme"
Me"I
-Icoul
d?"
Li
ya"yes,
nowf i
nishtherestofyourdri
nksowe
canhaveourownpr i
vateparty
"Iquickl
ygulped
downtherestofmydr i
nkandputt heglass
down

West artedkissingandshewasjustan
amazingki sser,myheadstar
tedspinni
ng,I
ent
eredadi f
ferentgal
axy,
anewwor l
dthatI
hadnev erbeent obefor
e,i
twaspleasurefi
lled
andtheexci tementinsi
demebegant obuild.
Li
ya'
st onguedancedar oundinmymout h,her
handsr
oamingfr
eel
yal
lovermybody
.Shet
ook
offmyj
ackett
henmyshir
tfol
l
owed
Li
ya"youhaveagr
eatbodyZero,
youwork
out?
"Sheaskedwi
thouthermouthl
eav
ing
mine
Me"
no"
Liya"oohhnat ural
?Ilikeit"shemov edherhand
furt
herdownandsl i
ppedi tinsidemypant s.She
playedar oundwi t
hmyD, mybr eathingbecame
heav i
ersoIopenedmymout ht oaccommodat e
quickerbr eaths,Icouldnthel pthel owdeep
groansofpl easure.Ihadnev erhadagi rlt
ouch
mel ikethatbef orewor sekeahotpr ett
yone
l
ikeLi yabona.If el
tmybodybui ldupt oacl i
max
andIwentwi ththeflow. .
..
mygr oansbecomi ng
l
ouder ,mywai standhi psr ockingtoherr y
t hmn,
myey esr ol
ledbacki ntomyey esandIl etouta
bighowl asIsqui rt
edal loverherhandandmy
under wearandmypant s.
..
wel lLena'suncl e's
pants...
.pointis,Ihadt hegr eatestor gasm ofall
t
ime!Thebestt
hingt
oev
erhappent
ome!

Myey eswer
est i
l
l cl
osedandIwasr ecoveri
ng
from t
hemostmi ndblowingorgasm Ihadev er
hadwhenIheardpeopl elaughingintheroom.I
openedmyey estoseet hateveryonewasint he
room l
aughi
ngandLuv ohadhisphone, he
fi
lmedthewholething!!
[
12/
02,
08:
41]Ron:
ke

I
nser
tFour

Ilef
tLiy a'
shousesof astt
hatnight ,t
oo
embar rassedandhur tt
otalk.Ifeltsousedand
betrayedbutt henwhatwasIt hinking?Trust
ing
Liyali
ket hat
, whydidIact
uallybelievet
hatshe
wasi ntome, whatwassospeci al aboutme
thatshei nvi
tedmet oherparty?Ishouldhav e
knowni twasapl antohumili
ateme.Ihadno
i
deawhatLuv owasgoi ngtodowiththev
ideo,
weretheygoingtouseitagai
nstmesomehow?
Iwenthomewi thallt
hosethought
sinmyhead,
Icoul
dbarelysleep.

Nowinit
ial
l
yIwant edtotel l
Lenaev eryt
hingbut
Icoul
dntbri
ngmy selft
ot ellherwhathappened,
Icoul
dntevenfacehersowhenshesuggest ed
wehangoutt hefoll
owingday ,Idecli
nedand
j
uststay
edinmyr oom al
l daywithmybr ain
worki
ngovertime.Itwasaf tersupperti
me
whenIreci
evedacal lf
rom Li y
a,Itookit
Me"
hel
l
o?"
Li
ya"
heyhandsome 
:)
 "
Me"
whatdoy
ouwantLi
yabona?
"
Li
ya"hai
boZero?Yousoundangr
y..
.di
dIdo
somethi
ngwrong?"
Me"youknowy
oudi
d!Howcoul
dyoudot
hatt
o
me?
!"
Li
ya"wel
lagir
l'
sgot
tadowhatagir
l'
sgotta
do.
..
youj
ustbecamemyinsur
ancecardZero"
Me"
whatdoy
oumean?
"
Liya"y
ou'llf
indouttomorrow.
..
seeyouat
schoolciao!"Thenshehungupleavi
ngmewi t
h
athousandquest i
ons..
..
whatthehel
lwasthat
crazybit
chpl anni
ngtodo!

SundayendedandIwant edt odiewhenmy

alar
m wentof fthefollowingmor ni
ng, Ididnt
wanttoev erwakeupandgof acet hose
monst erseskolweni ,anti
cipatingwhatt hey
weregoi ngt odot ome.Iwokeupany wayand
preparedf orschool,ndathathai l
unchy am and
walkedt oschool .Lenahadt akenhercart o
school andIwast hankfulforthat ,
Ineededt he
walk,j
ustt othinkabouthowIwasgoi ngt o
handlet hatwhol esit
uation
Ndafi
kaeskol
weni
andshewaswai
ti
ngatt
he
gat
eformeasusual
Lena"hey
!!Imi
ssedy
ouy
est
erday
!"If
akeda
smil
e
Me"
sor
ry,
Iwasntf
eel
i
ngt
oogood"
Lena"
didy
oudr
inkatLi
ya'
spar
ty?
"
Me"al
i
ttl
e"shesmi
l
ed
Lena"
youwer
ehungov
er"
Me"
yeah"
Lena"Iunder
stand"wewalkedt
oourusual spot
sahlal
aphantsi
.Icoul
dbarel
yconcent
rate
ndici
ngangal
eway" Z?Areyousureur
ight?"
Me"yeahmay
beI
'
m st
il
lyouknow.
..
.al
i
ttl
eout
ofi
t"
Lena"wellIhavenev erhadahangoverbefor
e
butI'
m sureuzobaright"Inoddedwit
hout
sayi
nganot herword.Iwaswor ri
edandfeeli
ng
uneasy,Iwantedtot el
lherbutthewordswould
notcomeout

Af t
erassembl y,
Idraggedmy selftoclasswith
myhear tdraggi
ngtomyf eet.Icouldntface
them butIhadt o,Ihadf al
lenrightintothei
r
trapandt herewasnowayout .Ndaf i
ka
eclassiniandsatonmydesk, myheadhangi ng
l
ow, Iheardthem whisperi
ngandl aughing,I
knewi twasatme  :'(
Li
ya"Zeezeehowar
eyoutoday
?"Il
ookedup,
shewassit
ti
ngonmydeskandsmil
ing
Me"
whatdoy
ouwantLi
yabona?
"
Luv
o"i
sthatr
eal
lyt
hewaytotal
ktosomeone
whoownsyourl
i
fe?
"Il
ookedathi
m
Vusi
"that
sri
ghtv
irgi
nner
d..
.y
ou'
reour
snow"
Me"
whatdoy
oumeanbyt
hat
?"
Li
ya"i
tmeansyoudowhat
everwesayorwe
postt
hevi
deoonl
inef
orev
eryonet
osee"
Luvo"aaahhhahhhahhh
ahhh..
..
aaaaaaahhhhhh!
"Hei
mit
atedmet
hen
theyal
llaughed
Me"
whatt
hehel
ldoy
ouwantf
rom me?
"
Vusi"
didyouhonestl
ybeli
evet
hatagir
lli
ke
Li
yaherewouldbeinter
estedi
nyou?
"Ilooked
down,Ifel
tthet
earscoming
Luvo"ohar
eyoucr
yingv
irgi
nner
d?"Baphi
nde
bahl
eka
Li
ya"okayher e'
sthedealmrMusi qSoul
chil
d
wannabe...
.youseefrom nowon, youwi
llst
art
doi
ngev er
ythingwesay .
..
start
ingwit
hal
lour
geogr
aphyassi gnments 
: ) 
"
Me"what?Youguysknowhowlongthat
assi
gnmenti
s!Icantdo4byt
hetimefuneka
zi
ngeni
le"
Li
ya"ohcomeon!You'
reasmartguy.
..
you'
l
l
fi
gur
eitout
 :
) 
"thenshesl
idoffmydesk
wabuyel
akwey
akheastheteacherwal
kedin.
Shelookedatmeandwi
nkedt
henl
i
ckedher
di
rt
yf i
lt
hyli
ps!

Ast heweekspassed, Luvo,Li

yabonaandVusi
tort
uredmewi thallsortofthi
ngs.Thei
r
homewor ks,makingmel ietothei
rparent
sfor
them andevenmaki ngmewr i
techeatsheet
s
forthem xakubhalwaitests

Apri
lcamet oaqui ckendandi twast he
begi
nningofMay ,theni ght
mar eofwhat
happenedatLi ya'
spar t
ystil
lhaunt ingnaboke
bengandiyekanga...t
hreateni
ngt ouploadt he
vi
deoandt helastthingIneededi nmyl i
fewas
tobeinvolvedinasexscandal ,itwoul dki
llmy
mother.Icouldntev ent el
lLenawhatwas
happening,Itwast ooembar rassingtoshar e
evenwithhert houghway ebonaukuba
somethingi sup,shet ri
edtogetmet oopenup
andeacht imeIt r
iedt hewor dsj ustgotstuckin
mythr
oatandIcoul
dnt.Idi
dntwanthertolook
atmengenyei
ndlel
a,shewastheonlyperson
asi
defr
om myparentswhoseopini
onmat ter
ed
tome 
: (

Anywayt hiscarri
edonf ort heent i
remont h,I
wasdoi ngumsebenzi wabant uabay i
4andmy
markswer edet er
iorating, myt eacherev en
cal
ledmeoutoni t.
..
compl i
ment ingthe
i
mpr ovi
ngwor kkaLi ya,Luv oandVusi ...
those3
weretrulythedev i
lsincar nate.Sot helastnail
tomycof f
inwaswhenwewer eaboutt owrit
e
ourJuneexams, theev iltri
pletscamet ome
ngelunchbr eak,Iwasal onecauseLenahada
medical emergencyt hatday
Li
ya"wel
lwel
lwel
l
,ifi
tisntt
hemanoft
he
hour
 :)
 "
Vusi"
youhavebeenagreathelptousman,our
l
iveshavebeensomucheasiersincey
oucame
andoffer
edtohel
pwit
hev er
ything :
) "
Luvo"mymom cantst
opsingi
ngmypr
aises
ever
ytimeIcomehomewi t
hagoodmark.
..
.and
i
tsallt
hankstoy
ou :)
 "
Me"
whatdoy
ou3wantnow"
Li
ya"topassthemi
dter
m examsof
cour
se ^_^ 
"
Me"what ?Youcantcheatdur
inganexam, I
meanat estyesbuti
-exam?Never!Iwonthelp
youdothat!"Theyal
ll
aughed
Vusi"wel
lwontyoulookatthat,hethi
nkshe
hasachoice"Li
yaplayedt
hev ideoagainandI
cri
ngedatthesoundofmyv oice
Liy
a"youhearthat
?Youwantt hewhol
eschool
tohearit
?"Ndamjonganj
endangathet
hi"
Idi
dnt
thi
nkso..
..
anywayZero.
..
that
snotwhatwe
wantfrom y
ou"
Me"
it
snot
?"
Luv
o"ofcoursenot,we'
renotst
upi
dweknow
wecantcheatkwiexam!"
Vusi
"yes.
..
wel
lnoti
nthatwayatl
east
"
Me"
whatdoy
oumean?
"
Liya"
y ou'
reaner dsoyoumustbegoodwi th
techthingsright?
"Inoddedbutregr
ettedit
i
nstantly"good..
.weneedyoutohackint ot
he
school'sserverandgetal
ltheexam papersfor
us"Igapedatherhor ri
fi
edbysuchat hing 
: O 
.
Ijumpedup
Me" what
?Youwantmet ohackintotheser
ver
?!
Areyoucrazy!
!Youthinki
twouldbethateasy?
Theschoolhasatraceabl
eapp!!Iwil
lget
expell
ed!
!"
Luvo"ohcalm down,you'
regoodwit
hthi
sst
uff
arentyou?You'
llmakesureyoudontget
caught"
Me"youpeopl
eareinsanei
fyouthi
nkI
'
ddo
t
hat
!Never!
!Youhearme?Nev er
!!
"
Li
ya"f
inet
hen.
..
."shetookoutherphoneagai
n
wayi
cofa"
post
ingvideoonallr
elev
antsoci
al
net
wor
ks.
..
..
"
Me"youwouldnev
er!I
fyoudothatt
henyou
l
oseall
lev
erageoverme"shel
ookedatme
Li
ya"true..
.butatt
hispointIhonestl
ydont
care 
: )
 "thenwandibonisaiphoneyakhe,
the
vi
deowasl oadi
ngfastandIst art
edtosweat
fr
om thepani c
Me"Fi
ne!
!I'
l
ldoit
!"If
inal
l
ysai
d..
.shechuckl
ed
andst
oppedthel
oadingvi
deo
Li
ya"goodboy
!Wewantal
lthosepaper
sby
endofthi
sweek!
"
Me"
buti
tsal
readywednesday
"
Luv
o"t
heny
oubet
terwor
kfast
 :
) 
"
Vusi"
tickt
ock..
..
."bahl
ekaogqiba
bahamba..
.ndashiy
ekandihl
alaandbur
yingmy
headinmyhands. .
.Iwasscr
ewed :'
(

Theday
sfl
ewbyndat
hindi
yabonasekuFr
iday
,
Iwasst i
llput t
ingoffthewhol ethingy oku
hackerintot heschool '
ssy st
em, Ijustcouldnt
bringmy selftodoi tandIknewt hatIwas
doomedkubat hoseev ilpeoplewoul dpostt hat
video.Thel astthingIneededi nmyl i
fewast o
bedubbedast hesexscandal ki
d.Idr aggedmy
feetallt
hewayt oschool ,IthoughtLenahad
alreadyl
eftwi thherdr i
verbutIwassur prised
toseeherst andingoutsidehergat e.Shegav e
meawor r
iedlookandIknewbai ndlel
ay onke
uzondihlal
elangemi buzo

Me"
hey
,It
houghty
oul
eftal
ready
"
Lena"
Ideci
dedt
owal
kwi
thy
ou"
Me"
Lensi
tscol
d"
Lena"I
'm dr
essed,
nowcomeon.
..
Ihave
somethi
ngIwanttotal
ktoy
ouabout"Isi
ghed
l
oudly
Me"
canwenott
alk?Ij
ustwantt
owal
kin
si
l
ence,
Ihav
eal
otonmymi
nd"
Lena"
why
?Ar
ewenotf
ri
ends?Bestf
ri
ends?
"
Me"
wear
ebut
..
..
"shei
nter
rupt
edme
Lena"butnothi
ng!!JeezZusiphe!Whywonty ou
tel
lmewhat supwi thyou?Ihavebeendying
hereknowingthatkukhonasomet hi
ngthats
botheri
ngyouandIcanthel pyou!Tal
ktome!I
canthelpi
fIdontknowwhat swrong!
!"I
stoppedndamaphambi kwakhe
Me" Youcanthel
pmeokay?Iam doomedthi
s
ti
meandIhav enoonetoblamebutme.Iwas
suchadumbassandIf el
li
ntoatrap.
..
it
sal
l
becausendiy
endafunai
zi
ntoezi
kudekunam"
Lena"what ?Zt el
lmewhat sgoi
ngon?Iwantt
o
helpplease...
.y
outhinknguwewedwawhos
suffer
ing?Im hurti
ngtoo,howwoul
dy ouf
eeli
f
yourbestfrienddidnttr
ustyou?
"
Me"i
tsnott
hatIdontt
rusty
ou.
..
Idontwantt
o
dr
agyouint
othi
s,i
twil
lgetmessy"
Lena"Imi never
ythi
ngwithyou.
..
tal
ktome"I
wast i
redofherbadgeri
ngmesoIj ustt
oldher
everyt
hing.Hermouthfel
lfr
om theshockthen
quickl
yshutandt wi
stedwit
hanger

Lena"t
heysaidwhat?!Youcanthackint
othe
school
'sserv
ertheyhaveatr
aceableapp!You
wil
lgetexpel
led!
"
Me"
yout
hinkIdontknowt
hat
?!"
Lena"
DamnitZusi
phe!!Youshouldhav
etol
d
mekwakudal
a!Youletitgotoofar!
"
Me"
Iwasashamedal
ri
ght
!"
Lena"why?Youthi
nkyou'
ret
hef
ir
stguywhos
everhadanorgasm?"
Me" t
heyaregoingt ouploaditf
orthewhole
schoolt
osee!Whatdoy out hi
nkmymot herwi
ll
say?Shewill
die..
.Icannotbeinvol
vedinasex
scandal
!"
Lena"
ughj
ustt
hinki
ngaboutt
hispi
ssesmeof
f!
Let
sgo!"Shegr
abbedmyhandandwe
qui
ckst
eppedal
lthewayt
oschool

Safi
kaeskolweni andtheev i
ltr
iplet
swer e
al
readywaiti
ngf ormeatt hegat e.Theysmil
ed
xabesibonaandLenat i
ghtenedhergr i
paround
mywr i
stwanditsalel
akubo
Liy
a"wowwowwow!Ial way sknewitwouldbe
l
ikethi
s..
.Foureyesareyouholdingthepoor
boyagainsthiswil
l?WellIsupposethatisthe
onlywayy oucouldevergetaboyt oholdyour
hand :) 
"
Luvo"hahahaLi
ya,y
ou'resofunny 
:D 
but
ther
eisnot i
meforthat
..
.l
etsgetdownt
o
busi
ness"
Vusi"i
tistheendoftheweekmosandwe
wouldhavewaitedunti
lkuphumeiskol
obutwe
haveothermatter
stoattendto"
Li
ya"
MrZer
o,Ibel
i
evey
ouhav
esomet
hingf
or
us"Lenal
etgoofmyhandandst
oodi
nfr
ontof
me
Lena"hesnotgoi
ngt
ogi
vey
ouany
thi
ng!
"They
l
aughed
Luv
o"ohr
eal
l
y?Wazi
ntoni
kewena?
"
Lena"Iknowt
hatyoutr
ickedhimi
ntogoi
ngt
o
yourpart
ysoyoucoul
dtraphim"
Vusi"okaysoheranwazoxelakuwe..
.wena
uzokwenzani?
"Shelaughedatli
tt
le
Lena"youknowIjustfi
ndi thypocri
ti
calt
hatthe
thr
eeofyouar et
hreat
eningt oexposeZf ora
normalhumanbodilyfunctionyetthethr
eeof
youhaveevenbiggerskeletonsinyourcl
osets.
Arenty
ougetscaredthati fyousteponthe
wrongtoestheywil
lcomeout ?"
Li
ya"ut
hethangant
oniwena?!
"Lenasmiledand
i
twasakindofsmileIhadneverseenbefor
e,
evi
lper
haps?Iwoul
dntknow..
..
.
Lena" y
ouknowLi yabona,youbl
ackmai l
ingmy
fri
endintodoi
ngy ourdir
tyworkisreall
ypissi
ng
meof fanditmakesmewantt o..
.i
nfactit
forcesmyhandt olettheenti
reschoolinon
yourdirt
yli
tt
lesecrets 
:) 
"Vusilaughed
Vusi"hehehehehaynowher eissomethi
ngI
thoughtIwouldneversee!Mousyli
tt
lefour
eyestryi
ngtobeinti
midating?
"Theyalll
aughed
Lena"
ohy
out
hinkt
hisi
saj
oke?
"
Luv
o"y
eahIt
hinki
tsqui
tef
unnyact
ual
l
y"
Liy
a" hahay eLinaorLena..
.whatev
er 
yourname
i
s..
..uci
ngaungubani nawena?Doy ouseewho
you'
r etal
kingto?Youdontknowmeorany thi
ng
aboutmef orthatmattersowatchyourmouth
nontombi "Lenasmiledagain
Lena"ohreal
lynow?Iknownot hingaboutyou?
Mm letssee.
....
"wabekai sandlaonherchi nand
bi
therlowerlip"okayso...l
asty earinDecember,
weren'
tyoupr egnantbutqui cklygotri
dofitat
apriv
atecli
nic?Infact,Idontt hinkyourmom
evenknowst hatshewasal mostagr andma
nowdoesshe? "Liya'sexpr essi onqui ckly
changedt oshockandpani cal l atonce
"mmmhhhhuh!Anabor t
ionhuh?Wowt hats
hugeLi ya...
.Imeansi ncey ou' ret hepast or's
daught erandev erything..
.it 
woul dbesucha
shamei fthatcameout "Liy adi dntanswer
"what sthat?Catgoty ourt onguenow? "Herjaw
ti
ght enedbutakat hethast ill"andy ou..
.."
watshoej ongekuLuv o" l
yingt oev eryoneabout
yourdadbei ngadoct or.
...
isnthej ustsi t
ti
ng
kowenu, bedr iddenbecauseofanacci denthe
hadt woy earsagowhi l
ewor kingasat ruck
dri
ver ?Theonl yreasony oucanaf f
ordt his
school isbecauseoft hepayouthegotf rom
thecompanyhewor kedf orandRAF.Anddo
peopl eknowt haty oursupposedbaby' brother'
thaty ourmom i scur r
ent l
yr aisingi sact uall
y
yourchi l
d?I tisquitesadi snti t?Whenamot her
sacrifi
cesherownl ifefort hechi ldshet hinks
willchanget heirl
ivest hrougheducat ion,
det ermi nat ionandhar dwor k...
.i
tmustbeso
embar r
assi ngf ory ourmom t or ealisewhata
disappoi nt menthersonact uallyis"Ist ood
ther edumbf ounded, mybr aint r
y i
ngt opr ocess
yonkel ent ozandi yiva" andf inall
y, MrVusi
Sonj ica....ooohhhhy oumusthav ebeenso
reli
ev edwhenLi yaabor t edt hebabyne?Seei ng
thaty ouwer ethedaddy !I t
squi tef unnyi snti t
?
Thef actt haty ouherknockedup. ...yetsomeof
usknowt haty ouact ual lybetf ort heot her
team. ..
.doy ourcl assmat esknowabouty our
boy friend?Awwwsuchasweetguy ..
.pityhes
stil
l wai tingf ory out ogr owsomebal l
sand
comeoutoft hecl oset .
..tel
l meV. .
.justhow
l
ongar ey oupl anni ngt ost ayi nther e?Mr
MachoMuscl emanact ual lyget sfuckedi nthe
ass. .
.lit
er ally : )
...
.wowy ou3ar edef i
ni t
elyan
i
nt erest ingbunch"heeeebet hunana! !ULena
wabat shobat hulay ev a!!Noneoft hem sai da
wor daf terbei ngser v edat ast eoft hei rown
medi cine
Lena" so!Youthreedimwi t
shav etwochoi ces,
1..
.youdel et
ethev i
deoandnev erspeakofi t
agai noryoutakeachancewi thmeandwepl ay
alittl
etellal
lgame...
.nowwhi chi si
t?Ivotef or
1..
.itwil
lbesomuchbet terforyou"shef lashed
them af akesmile.Li
y aswal l
owedal umpi nher
throatthenwakhuphai phoney akheway icofa
Li
ya"
del
eted,
wewi
l
lnev
erspeakofi
tagai
n"
Lena" good.
..
nowy oulonghead"esit
sho
kuLuvoandheal sodidt hesamethi
ng" good
boynowr unal
ongandnev erl
ookback"with
theirt
alesbetweentheirlegsbaj
i
kabahamba
belandelel
ana

Lenat
urnedl
ookatmewi
thasmi
l
e
Lena"arentyougladthat
sov er?"Igapedather
,
sti
l
lrecoveri
ngfrom theshockofwhatj ust
happened.Shepulledmyar m sayohlal
aatour
usual
spotbehi
ndt
hecl
asses
Me"howdi
dyouknowal
lthoset
hingsabout
t
hat
?"
Lena"beenkeepi ngmyey eont hose3f ools.
WhenIcamet ot hi
sschool kwagr ade08t hey
mademyl ifemi serabl
ewi t
hal l
theirname
cal
li
ngandbul lyi
ng...
those3i di
otsreall
yt akeit
outofyou..
.youcomet othisschool asinnocent
ascanbet henabant wanabal aphat heychange
you.
..
Ihadt olearnhowt ofightbackZandt hi
s
i
show. .
..
standing upformy self
,keepinganey e
onthem andkeepi ngmydi stance"
Me"wow.
..
butthankyouforwhaty
oudidfor
meandIm sor
ryfornott
ell
i
ngyousooner
"
Lena"it
sokaybutnextt imepleasetrustme
withanythi
ng..
.we'r
eat eam now,youdonthave
tostr
ugglewithany t
hingwedwa : )
 "Ismil
ed
andhuggedher ..
.t
hankfulfort
heamazi ng
fr
iendthatIhadbeenbl essedwith
[
12/
02,
08:
41]Ron:
MyWor
stMi
stake
I
nser
tFi
ve

Thewor stwasbehindme,thankstoLena..
..
the
evi
ltr
ipl
etsneverbother
edmeagai n,t
heydidnt
evental
kt ome,Lenahadreall
yscaredthem off
kodwakeIwoul dneverbeunabletounhear
whatIheardaboutthem.Thet hi
ngsIknew
zandenzandibaj
ongeinawhol enewdiff
erent
l
ight

Anywayt hemi dter

m examswer edrawing
cl
oser,LenaandIst udi
edtogethereventhough
si
fundaizintoezidif
fer
entbutkewehadt he
basi
csubj ectsincommonandshewascr azy
goodkwi mat hs.
Lena"
soIwast
hinki
ng.
..
"shesai
dtomeone
ti
mesif
unda
Me"
uh-
huh?
"
Lena"
whydontyouspendt
heJunehol
i
day
s
wit
hme?"Ismil
ed
Me"
wel
lIt
houghtt
hat
sthei
nit
ial
planmos"
Lena"
jabutnother
e,i
nMi
ami
"
Me"
what
?! 
:O 
!!
"
Lena"yeahmydadownsar esor
tphayanasoI
thoughtmaybewecouldgo.
..
mydadknows
someoneathomeaf f
air
swhocanspeedup
yourpasspor
tappl
i
cati
onandVisatoo"
Me"
real
l
y?!
"
Lena"yes,
Ihavealwayswant
edt
ogobut
ukuhambanotata 
:-/
 "
Me"yes!Yesat
housandt
imesLenaYes!
!"She
l
aughed
Lena"
great
!Thi
nky
ourmom wi
l
llety
ou?
"
Me"Idontseewhynot !Iam goi
ngtoMiami!
Thi
sissoexcit
ing!You'r
ethebest"shel
aughed
andshookherhead..
.kuyegoingt
oMi amiwas
chi
l
d'spl
aybutt
omei
twasev
ery
thi
ng!

WhenIwenthomel atert
hatday
,It
oldmymom
thegoodnewsandshewassohappyand
exci
tedongat
hikuzohambayena
Mom "wowyouhav ereal
lyfoundafr
iend
kul
omntanayazZusiphe!Ungazeumphoxe
umntwanawabantu"
Me" angekemama, Lenai
sthebestt
hingthat
s
everhappenedtome.Iwouldneverl
ether
down...
nam ndfunaukumenzel
asomethi
ng
bi
g...
it
sherbirt
hdaynextmonth"
Mom "
oht hat
sgreat
!May
bey
oucanbuyher
somet
hingnice"
Me" j
abutwhatdoyougetsomeonewho
al
readyhasever
ythi
ng?
"
Mom "ifi
tcomesfr
om theheart
,nomat t
erhow
smalli
tis.
..
itwi
l
lbethebestgi
ftongazeumnike
yona"Ismil
ed
Me"you'
rer
ight
,thanksmom.
..
Ishoul
dgocar
ry
onst
udyi
ng"
Mom "okayndoda"Iwenttomyr oom andlai
d
onmybed, If
eltal
lweirdi
nside,
Iwasgoingto
theSt
ates.
..
whatexcit
ingti
mesi nmylif
e!!

Af ewday sbeforet heexam, therewasal it

tle
functionthatwashel datschool ,theyoffici
all
y
askedmet osingandsoIdi d.Af termy
perfomancet hecool estguysatschool
approachedme.Theheadboy , chairpersonof
theRCL' s,deput yheadboyanddeput y
chairpersonoft heRCL' s..
..
theycal l
ed
themsel ves'TheSt oners'theywer eaboyband
andv erypopul areskolweni ,l
ov edby
everyone...ngokuy andandisafikaIf antasized
aboutbei ngi ntheirbandandbei ngpar toft heir
cool cir
clebutIknewt hatwasnev ergoingt o
happen.Iwonder edwhatt hatlev elofpopul ari
ty
fel
tlike,tobel ovedbysomany ..
.tohav e
beaut i
fulgir
lsf al
l
ingatyourfeet,
havinga
choicet opickwhat evergir
lyouwanted. .
.those
guyswer etreatedli
kecelebri
ti
esnditsho
nangaphandl eeskolweni
.Honestly,
Isecr etl
y
want edt obel i
kethem butathomeIwas
alway staughtt ostaywithi
nmyr eachandnev er
wanti zintoezikudekunam plusIhadl earned
thatlessonwi t
huLiyabona

Anywaytheseguyscametomebafika
bandi
buli
sandaphendul
akenam t
henthehead
boyspoke,hi
snamewasMJ
MJ"
ugr
andmf
ethu?
"
Me"
ndgr
andwena?
"
MJ" nahndgrandbra,t
heguysandIj ustwanted
tosaygreatperfor
manceupt heretoday "men
dontblushbutifIwasagirl
..
.whatIfeltinthat
momentwoul dbedescr i
bedasbl ushing
becauseIcouldnthel
pmy sel
ffrom smi li
ngli
ke
anidiot
Me"wow!Thanksguy
s..
.t
hatmeansal
ot
comi
ngfr
om you"
Athi
"wehavebeenwat
chi
ngy
ou"hewast
he
RCLchai
rper
son
Me"
youhav
e?"
At
hi"
yes,si
ncet
het
alentshow,
youhav
esome
madski
ll
s"
MJ"youreal
l
ydoandwecanseet
haty
ouhav
e
somerawtal
entman"
Me"
thanky
ou"
At
hi"
sowewer
ewonder
ing.
..
..
."
Zux"wearethi
nkingofexpandingourgr oup
becauseweneedanot hedvocali
stinthe
band..
.myvoi
ceisnotasgoodasi tusedt o
be.
..
wewer ewonder i
ngify
ou'dli
ket ojoi
nt he
band?"Mychesttight
enedandIf el
tat wistin
myst omach
Me"
me?
!"
MJ" yeah,whatdoyousay?"Icouldntbel
i
eve
myl uck!Fi
rstMiamiandnowaspoti nthemost
famousandcool estbandatschoolandinour
area?Couldlif
egetanybett
er!!
Me"
yeah!Iwoul
dlov
ethat
,itwoul
dbegr
eat
"
Zux"fant
asti
c!Wehaveagigthi
sweekend,
pract
iseaft
erschool
.Sodi
banaegat
ini
andgo
toLuzuko'
splace"
Me"
okay
,I'
l
lseey
ouguy
saf
terschool
"
MJ" gr
eat!"Baj
ikabahambaandIcouldj
ust
danceyindlel
andandonwabengayo!

Ir
antoLenatot
ellhert
hegoodnewsandshe
wasobvi
ousl
yhappyforme
Me"fi
rstMi
aminowabandwitht
hecool
est
guy
sinschool
!Ever
ythi
ngi
scomi
ngupZero!
"
Lena"
Zer
o?Ohwe'
rebackt
othatnow?
"
Me"
Lenadoy
ouunder
standwhatt
hismeans?I
wil
l neverbei nv i
sibl
eagain!Iam nowt he5th
memberoft hecool estband!Iwil
lbeal ead
vocalist
..
.Iwill f
inall
yhaveat ast
eoft hat
popularit
y..
.ev eryonewill
loveme. .
..
Iwill
even
havemychoi ceofanygi rlaphaeskolweniand
outsidetoo!Thi si samazing!!
"
Lena"
wow,Ihaveneverseenyouthi
sexci
ted.
..
I
di
dntknowyouwantedallt
hosethi
ngs!
"
Me" j
abutIwasj ustl
ike.
..Ididnttal
kaboutit
becauseIthoughtitwouldnev erhappenbut
nowhereitalli
s..
.Iam fi
nallygoingtoli
vethe
ki
ndofliv
eIal wayswant ed"
Lena"
ri
ght
"Il
ookedather
Me"
arey
ouokay
?Youdontseem pl
eased"
Lena"Iam,Ij
ustdontwantt
hatworl
dyou'
reso
exci
tedaboutt
oswallowyouandyoufor
get
whoy ouar
e"
Me"Iwouldnever
!Iwi
llsti
l
lbethesameguy
butj
ustcool
erandpopular
 :)
 wi
thyoubymy
si
deofcour
se"shesmi
l
edf
aint
ly
Lena"al
ri
ghtthen!Congr
atulat
ions 
Stoner
 :
) 
"
Ismil
edthensighedoutloudly
...
mylif
ewas
abouttochange 
: )

Theex amscommenced, Ist udiedhar dwi th

Lenaandal sohungoutwi thmybandmat es.I
wasr ight, t
hoseguy swer esochi ll
edandl aid
back, i
twasni cetohangar oundguy sliket hat.
Theyhadsomanyst or
iest oshar ewi t
hme, li
ke
howt heymetandbecamet heSt onersandI
al
sof oundoutwhyt heycal ledthemsel vest he
Stoners. .
.duri
ngall t
hei
rpr actisesessi ons, they
wouldl ightupsomeweedandhav easmoke.
Afterliket woweeksofhangi ngoutwi tht hem, I
wasal readysmoki ngtheweedt oo.Ilov edt he
wayi tmademef eel af
ter
war dslikeIwasi nan
al
t er
nat euni v
erse.Lenadi dntl i
kemynew
l
ifestylemuchbutshewasal way sthe
suppor ti
vef ri
end,shetoldmet ohav ef unbut
notlosemysel
fkuy
oy onkel
onto.Ili
stenedt
o
herandIwasconvi
ncedIhaditallunder
control
.

TheSt onersweresogoodt hatweof tengot

payinggigssondandi ngumnt uosolokoenemal i
andnam Icoul ddoni cethi
ngsf ormybest
fr
iendliketakeheroutandsav eforher
bi
rthday .
..
Isti
l
ldidntknowwhatIwasgoi ngto
getherbutIknewIwant edittobespeci al,
to
symbol i
zeourf r
iendshi
p

Anywayexamscommencedsadesay ogqiba
ukubhala,bythet i
met hatwasover,Ial
ready
hadmypasspor tandVi sa.
..
Iwasreadyfor
Miami baby!!LenaandIwentshoppi ngfor
cl
othesandot herstuf
fwewoul dneedont he
tr
ip.Shehelpedmepi ckoutsomeni ce
cl
othes...
nowt hatIwasi naband,Ifel
t
compel l
edtochangeev ery
thi
ngaboutmyst yl
e
andLenawasgr eatatthatbuteveryt
imeI
chosesomethingforher,somethi
ngmor efun,
vi
brantandyoungshewoul dj
ustshakeher
head.Shedressedli
keAmyf r
om theBigBang
Theory 
:-/
 honestl
y,Ihatedi
t

Me"thatwasfun"weweresit
ti
ngatPri
mi Pi
att
i
hav
inglunchaft
eralongdayofshoppi
ng
Lena"
itr
eal
l
ywas,
Ilov
eshoppi
ng"
Me"whichi
swhyy oushoul
dfoll
owyourdr
eam
andbecomeafashiondesi
gner
"shel
aughed
Lena"
int
henextl
i
fet
imemay
be"
Me"
why
?"
Lena"mydaddoesntthi
nki
tsarealcar
eer,
he
wantsmet ohav
eadegreeandIdontwantto
dobusinesssoI
'l
lbeadoct
or.
..
it
sthenextbest
thi
ng"
Me"
Lena.
..
."
Lena"dontwor
ryaboutme.
..
hest
hepar
entso
heknowsbestri
ght?"
Me"jali
kest
eer
ingy
ouawayf
rom whaty
ou
wanttodo!
"
Lena"
let
stal
kaboutsomet
hingel
se"
Me" okaysotel
lme,howcomey oudontwant
todressyourage?
"Shechokedonherdr i
nkand
coughed"areyouokay?
"Sheputupherhandup
whil
ecoughingtoshowt haturi
ght.Igav
eher
somewat erwasel
athenl ookedatme
Lena"
what
?"
Me"youhear
dme. .
.ev
eryt
imeIchose
somethi
ngcol
orf
ulandageappropri
ate,
you
sai
dno"shedrewinalongbreat
h
Lena"whenIgother e,thi
ngsgotsot ought hatI
tur
nedtof ood.
..
.soIgainedalit
tl
e...
wella
l
ot..
..
thi
ngsgotsobadt hatIgotreal
lysickand
thedoctorssai
di fIdontl
osethewei ghtthenI
woulddie.Somyf at
hergotmeaper sonal
trai
ner..
.diet
ician.
.thewor ks..
.Il
ostt heweight
andIhav ebeenkeepi ngitoff.Evenbef oreI
gained,Iwasnev eryourgirl
'sgirl
..
.Iwasa
tomboy ,gainingthewei ghtplummet edmysel f
esteem toazer oandi t
sst i
ll
there.WhenIl ook
i
nt hemi rrorIstil
lseethatfatkid..
.itdoesnt
mat t
erhowIseem t obeont heout sidebutIm
stil
lnotcomf ort
ablewithshowi ngmybodyor
dressingageappr opri
ate.Ili
kethewayIdr ess"
Me" oh.
..
Im sor
rytohearthat
,Ihadnoideabut
thi
ngshavechangednow.Lensy ou'
rethe
str
ongestpersonIknow!Youhav et
oletyour
mindcatchupwi t
hy ourbody
"
Lena"Zit
sokay,Il
i
ket hingsthisway.
..
."Iknew
thatIwasfi
ghti
ngalosingbat tl
esondamy eka
keandwet al
kedaboutot herthi
ngs

Kwadl
ulanj
eitwodaysandboom! !Umntuwas
onafi
rstcl
asstr
iptoMiami
!!I
twasamazi ng,
gr
eat,
wonderful
,awesome,
excit
ing..
..
.al
lthe
wordsyoucanthi
ngoft
hatdescri
besomethi
ng
good,newandexci
ti
nghappeni
ngtoyou.

West ay edinMi ami for2whol eweekst hen

sagodukaaf ewday sbef orekuv ulwei zkol o,
I
hadsomuchf unandwant edtocr yxakuf uneka
sibuyeleemakhay abutt henagai n,myhomel if
e
wasntsobadei thernowt hatIwasi nthe
stoner'sband.Iwaspar tofthecool crowdandI
couldntwai tt oexpl orethatpar tofmyl ife.I
wasadi ff
er entmannow, ever
y thingaboutme
hadchanged.WhenIl ookedi nt hemi rrorIsaw
theguyIal way swant edtobe.Conf ident ,Smart,
Goodl ooking, Wel ldressedandcool  ; )

Adayaftersi
buyeeMi ami,Iwentt
ohangwi t
h
theguysatAthi
'
shouse, hewashostingasmal l
i
ntimat
egettogetherjustbefor
ekuvulweizkolo.
IhadabeerinmyhandandIwaschat t
ingwith
agroupofguysandt herewasweedofcour se,
someonet appedmeont heshoulderandI
tur
ned.
..
abeaut i
fulgir
lwasst andi
nginfrontme
wit
hagor geousfli
rtysmile,
Iscannedherf r
om
headtotoeandsmi ledtoo,lovi
ngwhatIsaw
Her"
hiZer
o :
) 
"
Me"hell
opr
ett
ylady
!"Shesmi
l
edandl
ooked
r
ighti
ntomyeyes
Her"
Im Onezwabutev
ery
onecal
l
smeOni
e"
Me"
nicet
omeety
ouOni
e"
Onie"
I'
vebeenwatchingyouandInot
icedthat
youaret
hecutestonehere.
..
.soIwas
thi
nki
ng.
..
..
"shelookedatmewi t
hatwinkl
ein
herey
e
Me"
yes?
"Iencour
agedhert
ogoon
Oni
e"weshouldgett
oknoweachot
heral
i
ttl
e
more.
..
wannacomewi t
hme?
"
Me"sur
e"shetookmyhandandl
edt
hewayt
o
acl
osedquietr
oom
Onie"hav
easi t
"ndahlal
aebhedi niandfi
nished
offmybeer.Sheclosedandl ockedthedoor
thencametositnexttome.Theat mosphere
hadchangedandIkepthav ingflashbacksof
whathappenedwithLiyabona

Shesmi
l
edagai
nthenl
eanedi
n
Oni e"shal
l wegettoknoweachot herali
ttl
e
mor e?
"Inodded,nittr
ustingmywor ds.Ileaned
i
nt ooandweki ssed.Shewasanamazi ng
kisser,10timesbetterthanLiyawhoIusedt o
thinkwast hehottestgir
ltoev erwal
kthisearth
butev ersinceIbecameamemberoft he
Stoner sandwentMi ami ,
Liyabonawasnot
ev ennumber100ont helistofhotgir
lsIhad
ev erseen

Anywaybackt
othepr
esent,t
hingsescal
ated
qui
ckl
ywithOni
e.I
namat t
erofmi nut
eswe
werebot
hnakedandl
yingonthebedwhileshe
playedwi t
hmyDkamnandi kanj
an..
.t
hei
mage
ofLiyabonadoingthesamet hi
ngwaspushed
tothebackofmyhead.WhenIwasaboutt o
cli
max, shesuddenl
ystopped,Iopenedmyeyes
andl ookedather
Onie" noty et.
..
west i
llhaventgottentothefun
partyetandImustsayZee. ..
youarewellgift
ed
downt here"Ismi l
edshy lyandher
compl iment ..
.wow!Shecl imbedont opofme
andst artedkissingmeagai n,mymember
pokingathersexwant ingtobei nsi
deheri n
thatinstant .I
nmyheadIkeptt hi
nkingto
my self,OhMyGodt hatwast hemoment ,Iwas
goingt olosemyv ir
ginitytoabeaut i
ful
girlandI
didntev enhav etowor kf ori
t,shecamet o
me  : D

Shesli
doffmeandpickedupherj
eans,
wakhuphaacondom andopenedi
tthen
wandjonga
Onie" knowhowt ouseone? "Ishookmyhead, I
decidednott ol i
etoher" good"shemov edher
handsupanddownmyshaf t, Iclosedmyey es
butshet oldmet oopent hem soIdi d.I
watchedhersl i
det hecondom downmypeni s
i
nt hemoster oti
cway , Iwant edt obur st!She
str
addl edmeagai nwazondi ncami sat hen
guidedmei nsideher, Iletoutasof tgroan...
.it
fel
tsogoodt obei nher .
..i
twasaf eelingIhad
neverf eltbefore..
.shest artedmov i
ngont opof
mesl owl ykekodwa, Icl osedmyey es
wallowi ngint hepleasur ablemoment .Shet ook
myhandsandputt hem onherboobs, maki ng
mer ubt hem togethergent l
y .Iopenedmyey es
andwemadeey econt act ,
shepi ckedupt he
pace, closedherey esandhermout hopenedi n
anOshape. ..
.shewasenj oy ingi tandt hatmade
mef eel conf i
dent.Shest artedmaki ngsounds
tooasshepi ckedupt hepace, ast houghmy
bodyj ustknewwhatt odoandmyhandsknew
wher etogo, Igrabbedherhi psandl if
tedupmy
wai
sthel
pingheral
ong

Inamat terofmi nutes,mybodybui ltupt o

anotherclimaxandsoonenough, myf ir
stsex
orgasm rippl
edthr oughmel i
keagi antwav e,it
wasl i
keapl easureov erl
oadIthoughtIwas
havingahear tattack.Shegotoffme, and
slumpednextt omeont hebed.Ilookedather
andwebot hsmi l
ed, ourhear
tbeatsgr aduall
y
slowingdownt onor mal
Onie" y
oushoul dtakethatoff
"shepoi ntedat
thecondom.Ichuckl edandgotup, shegave
mei toi
letpaperandIremov editslowlythen
cleanedmy selfup.Ndabuyelaecankwakheand
sleptonmyback, wabekauml enzeont opof
meandweki ssed
Oni
e"t
hatwasni
ce 
:)
 "
Me" i
treal
lywas"sheki
ssedmeagainbutaft
er
whathappenedbetweenus,Ihadabur
ning
questi
on..
.wehadjustmet,
whatwasgoingto
happennow?"
Sodoest
hismean.
..
..
.?
"
Oni
e"we'
redat
ing?
"
Me"
yeah"
Oni
e"doy
ouwantt
o?"
Me" y
eahofcourse!"Imeanwhosaysnotoa
beauti
fulwhowantstodateandj
usttooky
our
vi
rgi
nity?
!Anidi
otthatis!
!
Oni
e"gr
eatt
hencosIl
i
key
ou 
:)
 "
Me"okay"wekissedagai
nthensav
ukasanx
iba
andwenttoj
ointheother
s

Aft
erthepart
y,Iwenthomef eel
inglikeanew
man!Youknowwheni t
sgoodi t
sgood. ..
.Iwas
fi
nal
lyinagoodpl aceinmyl i
feandt oaddon
toal
lthat
,Ihadasmoki nghotgirl
fr
iend!!
Aaahhhhli
fewasAwesome! !Iwentst rai
ghtto
myroom andtookashower ,ndi
cinga
ngoOnezwaandt het hi
ngsshewasdoi ngtome,
i
fsexwasl i
kethat..
.Iwantedtodoi teveryday
andnowthatIhadagi
rl
fr
iend.
..
.t
hatr
eal
i
tywas
noti
mpossibl
e ;)

Aft
ershoweri
ngIt
ookmyphoneandtext
ed
Lena,
Iwantedtot
ell
hert
hegoodnews
Me:
guesswhoi
sntav
irgi
nany
mor
e!!
"
Lena:
YOU?
!Real
l
y?Wi
thwho?
"
Me:
youknowOnezwar
ight
?"
Lena:
thegi
rli
nmycl
ass?
"
Me: y
enakanye!!Sheapproachedmet oday
kuloAthiandwejustdi
dit..
.andaznobabekuy
i
room kabanil
eyana 
:D butIam amannow
Lens..
..
Iam sohappyIcoulddance!!
"
Lena:
didy
ouusepr
otect
ion?
"
Me:
ofcour
sewhatdoy
out
akemef
or?
!"
Lena:wow"Igotastr
angev i
befr
om her
,she
wasntasexci
tedasIthoughtshewoul
dbein
factshecameoffascold
Me:youdontseem happyf orme"thenshe
wentoffli
ne,t
hatseemedoddcosLenanev er
l
eftmendi hangerkwiconversat
ionbefore.
Ndazxelel
abamhl ambi ubusywithsomet hi
ng
soIfocusedonal lt
hegoodi nmyl i
fe,t
heyv er
y
awesomel ygreati
nmyl if
e!!

Baphel aubusuku, Lenadi dnotloginagainand

wedi dnttal
kal l
night..
.notevent henormal
i
nsomni aphonecal lat1am. .
..
Ishruggeditoff
event houghtyayingaf aninaye.
...
anywayI
call
edma" gf"andwet alkedforawhilethen
ndayocheckeduLenaoncemor ebutnothingso
ndalala.
[
12/
02,
08:
47]Ron:
MyWor
stMi
stake

I
nser
tSi
x

Thenextdaywasacol
dandr
ainyday
,Lena
call
edesit
hiuzondthathaegati
ningemot o,so
aft
erndil
ungisil
e,If
oundt hecaratthegate
waiti
ngforme.NdangenaandFr eddiedroveus
toschool,
wesati nsilence,
int
oengazange
yenzekabefore,anditwasbecauseIf el
tli
ke
Lenawaspul l
ingawayf rom me
Me"areyouokay
?Ar
eyoumadatme?
"She
l
ookedatme
Lena"
no,
whywoul
dIbe?
"
Me"y
oujustseem col
dandl
astni
ghty
oul
eft
mehangi
ng"
Lena"OhIm sor
ryaboutthat
..
.i
tsj
ustthatuh,I
washelpi
ngmydadwi t
hbusinessstuf
f.
..
it
sour
tr
adit
ionbandimncedi
sewi t
hgetti
nghis
papersi
norderandthatwayIknowhowi zint
o
workcos..
..
."
Me"
onedayi
twi
l
lal
lbey
our
s"shesi
ghed
Lena"mostofi
tal
readyis"shesmi
ledf
aint
ly
"any
waytell
meabouty ouandOnezwa.
..
what
happened?
"Thelif
ecamebacki nt
omeandI
tol
dheraboutOniebutIkepti
tPGbecauseof
Freddi
einthecar
Me"
Ifeel
li
keanewman!
"
Lena"
Im happyf
ory
ou!Oni
eisar
eal
l
yni
cegi
rl
"
Me"
nyan?
"
Lena"
yeah,shessweetandhardworking.
..
you
guysl
ookgreattogether
"Il
ookedatherandher
bodyl
anguagewasnotagr eei
ngwit
hherwor ds,
somet
hingwasbot heri
ngher
Me"
Lens,
arey
ouokay
?"
Lena"
Imf
ine,
whydoy
ouask?
"
Me"i
tseemsl
i
kekukhonasomet
hingony
our
mi
nd"
Lena"
ughj
ustf
ami
l
yst
uff
"
Me"
wannat
alkabouti
t?"
Lena"
nah.
..
Idontwannadampeny
ourmood"
Me"
Lena.
..
"shel
ookedatmewi
thasmi
l
e
Lena"
ndir
ightnyan.
..
pleasedontworryabout
me"Ibi
tmyl i
p,Iwaswor ri
edaboutherbutshe
waspushi
ngmeawayf orsomereason

Wearrivedatschoolandwentstr
aighttoour
usualspotbutkwakukhonaabant
u...
.t
heStoner
guysandsomechi cks,andmygftoo ;)
Me"
uhheyguy
s"
Oni
e"heybabe 
:)
 "shecamet
omeand
ki
ssedmycheek
Me"heybaby"i
tfel
twei
rdukut
sholont
oand
goodatt
hesamet i
me"whatareyouguys
doi
nghere?"
Athi
"well
youalway
stalkaboutt
hispl
aceand
howgreatiti
ssowethoughtweshoul
dcheck
i
tout"
Me" oh"Il
ookedatLenaandsheseemed
uncomf or
tabl
e
MJ"
who'
syourf
ri
end?
"
Me"ohuh.
..
thi
sisLenaandLenat
hesear
ethe
guy
s"
Mj "
ohit
sthemi
xedr
acegi
rl
,ni
cet
omeety
ou
Lena"
Lena"
thanksy
out
oo.
..
ZIm gonnagot
ocl
ass,
i
tscol
dapha"
Me"
arey
ousur
e?"
Lena"
yeah,
I'
ll
seey
oungebr
eak"
Me"
okay
"shet
urnedandl
eft
Zux"
socut
eandi
nnocent
"Il
aughed
Me"
sowhatar
eyouguy
sreal
l
ydoi
ngher
e?"
Mj
"justhangi
ngout
,thi
sreal
l
yisacool
spot
"
Me"yeahi
tis"Oni
epull
edmet
othesi
deand
pi
nnedmetot hewal
l
Oni
e"Imi
ssedy
oul
astni
ght
"
Me"
real
l
y?Howmuch?
"Shesmi
l
ed
Oni
e"I
'
llshowy
ou"sheki
ssedmeandIpul
l
ed
hercl
osert
ome
Siwe"euw!
!Getaroom ni
namaan!"Shebr
oke
theki
ssedandlookedatherf
ri
end
Oni
e"yhuuumonachomi
!!
"Theybothl
aughed
andwecarr
iedonwit
hourbusi
ness

Afterassembl y,wewentoursepar ateway s,

yayindim noMJabant uababef undakwi class
eyione...abanyewer einphy sicsandabany ekwi
drama.Xasi ngenat heev i
ltri
pletsl ookedatme
kakubi andIsmi l
ed,Iwaspar toft hecool
crowdnow, Iwasunt ouchable..
..somucht hatI
winkedatLi yabonathenchuckl ed.Sahl ala
phantsi andt hegirl
sswar medt oourt abl e,
askingbasophi ndasi y
oper f
ormerphi andni ni
,
abany ewer easki ngmeaboutmy self.
...
.Ihad
enteredawhol enewdi f
ferentrealitynow  :)

Dur
ingbr
eak,
Iwant
edt
ogot
oourusual
spot
noLenabutMJsai dufunandiyohlal
anabo
kwindawozabehl alakuyongebr eak.Liket hei
r
ownpr iv
ateclassr
oom wher etheyateand
brai
nstormednewsongi deas.Ienjoyedt he
vi
bet heresomucht hatIforgotcompl etely
aboutLena..
.withmygi r
landmynewf ri
ends,
whatelsedidIneed?

Thetimef l
ewbyandIbecameani nstanti
tboy,
IwasntZusipheSongcaany mor e,Ibecame
ZeroandIwasl ovi
ngitkodwal ontot ookme
awayfrom mybestf r
iend.Atschool Iwas
al
way swiththeguysthenaf t
erschool Iwas
ei
theratbandpracti
ce,hangingwi ththeboysor
wit
hOni e,t
hatgir
lwasi nsat
iabl
e..
...
thatwhole
sexeverydaybecamear eal
possibili
ty

Songeny eimi
nike,towardstheendofJul y,
Onieinv
itedmeov ertoherhouselami niand
every
thi
ngwassor ushedrushedthatIlef
tmy
phoneathome.Sheaskedmet osl
eepov er
si
nceherparent
swer eoutoftownthatnight.I
hadsomuchf unwithher,wemadelov eall
ni
ghtandwewer entusingcondoms..
.wewoul d
havemadeababyser ious!
!

ThenextdayIspentwi t
hher,ndahl
alanaye
i
mi niyonket henlat
eraround6Iwenthome.My
parentswer eintheloungeukungenakwam, my
olderbrotherTabisowashomet oo.Iwent
strai
ghttomyr oom,myphonewasof fsoI
chargedit...
whil
ewai t
ingfori
ttohavej ust
i
bat t
eryny anamybr othercamein
Tabs"
heyman!Wher
eyoubeen?
!"
Me"
Iwaswi
thuOni
ewhy
?"
Tabs"hahahay ho!Yourant
ogosl eepov
erat
yourgi
rlf
ri
end'shouseyoudidntevencar
e
aboutthefactthatndi
yabuy
aizolo!
"
Me"
itwasaspuroft
hemomentt
hingman,
kwal
eyobandil
aleuy
itshosendipha"he
l
aughedandpul
ledachairwahlalaphantsi
Tabs" l
ookaty ou!!Al
lgr
ownup, ever
ythi
ng
abouty ouhaschanged...
Im st
art
ingtoworr
y
thatyou'r
egoingt obethemosthandsome
brotherngoku"Ilaughed
Me"
hahahaIt
oldt
hatonedayIwi
l
lgi
vey
oua
r
unf
oryourmoney
"
Tabs"jaj
aja.
..
yhoandi
hlut
himaan!
"Hesai
d
rubbi
nghisst
omach
Me"
uty
ent
oni
na?
"
Tabs" umamadr aggedmet ot
hi sf
ancyhouse
downt hest reeti
twassomechi ck'
s18th
birthday..
.they werehostingalittl
elunch
thing..
.umamaut hishesy our
fri
end...kanenengubani igamal akhe..
.Li
na?
"I
feltanimmedi at
epangi nmyst omachanda
kickint hegutal latthesamet ime
Me"
youwer
eatLena'
spar
ty?
"
Tabs" j
abutshedi dntseem happy ,shekept
l
ookingar oundongathiuli
ndeumnt u,I
m sur
e
shewaswai ti
ngfor.Whydi dntyoushowup?
Mom say snizibestfr
iends"Iburiedmyheadi n
myhandsandsatdownagai n.
..
fuckwhathadI
done?!Kudalanday i
cingaibir
thdaykaLenabutI
gotdistr
actedbyuOnezwa
Me"damni t
!!
"Ipunchedtheai
r"Iam suchan
i
diot
!!Aaaahhhhfuck!
!!
"
Tabs"dudecal
m down.
..
it
snott
heendoft
he
worl
d"
Me" y oudontunderst
and!!Thatgi
rli
smybest
fri
endshehasdoneal otformet hesepastf ew
mont hsandbeingt heassholeIhavebeenl atel
y,
Iforgotherbir
thday!Im worst
!!
"Ifel
tsobadI
want edtokickmy sel
fwhereithurt"Ihaveto
go"Iopenedmydr awerndakhuphai present
yakhet hendashedout.Ipassedmypar entsin
theloungeandr anallthewaytoherhouse
Ipunchedi nthecodeandr aninside.Herf ather
washome, ndabulisaandhet oldmet hatshes
upstai
rs.Irantoherr oom andopenedt hedoor
butndaphant sendawawhenIr ealiseditwas
l
ocked.It ookadeepbr eat
handknocked, there
wasnoanswersoIknockedagai n,alit
tle
l
oudert henwai t
ed.Af t
eraf ewsecondst he
dooropened, Lenawasi nherpy j
amasandher
eyeswer ebloodr ed,Icoul
dnttell whethershe
hadbeensl eepingorcr yi
ng
Me" happybir
thday!
!"Shej
ustbl
i
nkedatmeand
di
dntsayawor d,
wav el
ewaji
kawangena
phakathiandIfol
lowedher
Me"LensIam sosor
ry!
!Iwaswi
thOni
eandI
l
ostt
rackoft
ime"
Lena"seemsy
ouar
elosi
ngal
otoft
hingst
hese
days"
Me"
Lena.
..
..
"shet
urnedt
olookatme
Lena" t
hankyou"Igav
eheraconf usedlook"
for
wishingmeahappybi r
thday"herwordswere
l
oadedwi thhurtandmyheartbrokewhenI
real
isedshehadbeencryingbecauseIwasnt
ther
e
Me"
LenaI
m sor
ry"shel
ookedupatme
Lena"it
sf i
ne,you'
reher
enow...
it
sstil
lmy
bir
thday"shedidntmean,shewasnttheLenaI
knewatal l
,shewassosad, weakandfragi
le.
..
.I
hadneverseent hatpar
tofherbefor
e
Me"Lena..
.Igoty
ousomethi
ng"Ihandedher
t
hegiftbackshetooki
twayi
bekaecaleni
"ar
ent
yougonnaopenit?"
Lena"
no"andthatwasit,
shewaspuni
shi
ng
meandIfel
ttheheatyho!
Me" IknowthatIhav entbeent
hebestestf
riend
toyoulatel
y,Iam alwaysbusyandeveryt
hingis
j
ustsoov erwhel
mi ng,Idontmeant
opushy ou
asi
de"
Lena"buty
oudo.
..
youf
orgotmybi
rt
hdayand
youhurtme"
Me"
Idi
dntmeant
o"shel
ookedatme
Lena"
whyi
sthatt
hepeopl
ewhohur
tyout
he
mostal
way
ssaythat
?"
Me"
nyani
Lena,
Im sor
ry"
Lena"t
hat
sthe3r
dt i
meyou'
vesai
dIm sor
ry
now..
.may
beyoureal
lymeani
t"
Me"
Ido!Inev
erwantt
ohur
tyou"
Lena"i
tsfi
neZ,Iunder
standt
hatyouhavet
he
l
ifeyouwantnowandIdontfi
tint
othat
anymore"
Me" youfit
!OhmyGodLenay oufi
tso
well.
..y
ouandIwi l
lal
way sbeagreatfi
t.
Please..
.I
m sor
ry"shejustnoddedandsaid
nothing"pl
easeopenthegi f
t"
Lena"
lat
er"
Me"
nowLenapl
ease"
Lena"okay"shetookt hegi
ftbackandpul l
ed
outthegif
twrappedboxt henopenedi ttofi
nd
twosil
vereterni
tyf
r i
endshi
pbracel
ets,they
wereengravedont heinsi
de,Lenareadyout
l
oud
Lena"Zusi
phe♡Lenabestfr
iendsf
oret
ernit
y
andbeyond"shelookedupatmeandsmiled
"y
oudidthisforme?"
Me" yes"Itookhercharm bracel
etndamf aka
yonat henndazi
fakaeyam "asy mbolofour
fr
iendshipandwhaty oumeant ome,LenaI m
sosor rybutIpr
omi seyou,t
hingsaregoingto
bedifferent
"shelaughedkancincit
henthr ew
herarmsar oundmesohar dthatwefellonthe
bed. 
Lena"Il
oveitsomucht
hanky
ou!
!!
"Il
aughed
andheldherti
ght
ly.

Ispentt
herestofmyni
ghtwithher
,Iev
en
endedupspendingt
heni
ght.Iwant
edhert
o
knowthatImeanti
twhenIsai
dthi
ngswoul
d
change

Andchanget heydid..
..
Ifoundabalance
betweenmynewf ri
ends, mygi
rlf
ri
endandmy
bestfri
end.Eventhought hegr
oupwas
demandi ngandbeingwi t
hOniewasaf ull
time
j
ob, Ihadtogivemy sel
ftheti
met obreakaway
ndiyohlal
anoLena : )

Lenawasst il
lgreatbuttheonl ypr obl
em was
thatshedidntseem t oli
kemyr elati
onshi
pwi t
h
uOniebecauseev er yt
imeIment ionedher
name, Lenawoul djustshutdownbutchangi ng
thesubjectorsayingshedi dntwantt ohear
aboutmy" sexcapades"wel lIunder st
oodthat
shewasapr udeandnam keIhadt heboys
ngokut osharemyguyst uf
fwi th.Ilovedbeing
partofthecoolcrowd, asti
mef lewby ,we
playedatalotofpl acesandgotpai dkwezinye
i
ndawo,TheStonerscoul
dhavebecomear eal
t
hinghadgrowingupandreali
tynotcaughtup
wi
thus.Anywaythatisastor
yforanotherday.

Themont hspeel edawayandbef oreweknewi t

,
i
twasOct ober ,t
hef inalmont htogety ourshit
togethercosf i
nalswer ecl ose.Myl i
fewasst il
l
upt hereandIst il
lhadmybestf riendal t
hough
shewaski ndofbor i
ngme.If oundmy self
hati
ngt het hingsthatLenaandIusedt odo
together ,evenhangi ngoutwi thherseemedt o
beadr agt omebutt henIwoul dt hinkabout
everythingshehaddonef ormeeny akeni t
hen
I'
dpushmy selftogohangoutwi t
hherand
pretendt obeenj oyingi t
.Oni eandIhadbr oken
upov ert heSept emberhol iday sbecauseI
cheatedonherwi thichomi yakheuSi we. .
.I
becamear ealasshol eandIl ov edi t
!Ihadbeen
i
ntroducedt oawhol enewl i
fe,girlssawmeas
cute,hot ,cool andf ullofswag. .
.i
swhatt hey
call
edi t.Iwasget ti
ngnumber sl eftri
ghtand
center.
..
Ineverhadt oev enopenmouth,t
hey
j
ustf el
latmyf eet.Theboy swereimpr
essed
andencour agi
ng, whendi dIbecomesucha
womani singselfcenter
edj er
k?Nam andazbut
al
lIknowi st
hatwheny ou'r
einyou'
rei
nandits
hardasf ucktogetout

Onedaytheboyswer
ehangingoutatmypl
ace,
myparentswer
egonefort
heweekendsoIwas
homealone
Mj"
soZer
o,t
hedancei
sar
oundt
hecor
ner
,
whoar
eyout
aki
ng?"
Me"uh..
.Ihav
ealistofgir
lswhohav
easkedme,
I
'l
lj
ustchoosefr
om there"
Zux"
whydonty
out
akey
ourf
ri
end.
..
Lena?
"
Me" who?Lena?WhywouldIwannadothat?
Besidesshedoesntwantt
ogo,she'
snoti
nto
thosesortoft
hings"
Zux"
you'
dthi
nksobuuut
tno.
..
thegi
rli
scr
azy
abouty
ouandul
i
ndewenaumcel
etogo"I
l
aughed
Me"what?Lena?Crazyaboutme?Haymf
ethu
yougott
hewr ongendofthesti
ck"
Athi"uhhahahalistentothi
sfool
 
: D that
chickisinl
ovewi thyou..
.weseet
hewayshe
acts,tel
lme..
.doesshenotgetmadev eryt
ime
youtalkaboutchickskuye?"Iwasthoughtfora
moment
Me"
wel
lyeahbutshe'
spr
udemos"
Luzz"pr
udemyass!Itsbecauseshedoesnt
wanttohearyourst
ori
esaboutyouandother
gi
rls,
she'
sjeal
ous"Il
aughedagain
Me"
haygentsni
phazami
l
e,Lenadoesnotsee
mei
nthatway"
Mj
"ohbutshedoes.
..
.donty
ou?
"
Me"
dontIwhat
?"
At
hi"
li
keheri
nthatwayt
oo?
"
Me"hahahawhat ?
!OhGodno!!She'
smy
f
ri
end..
.Idontseehert
hatwayatall
"theyal
l
l
aughed
Luzz"ri
ght!Kaneneakay otypeyakho,youlike
theglamorousci t
ygirl
swi thshortdresses,
makeup, longweav esandf atasses...
andy our
fri
endisar ealcountr
ybumpki n,
pigtail
edhair,
overal
lsandr ubberbootstypachi ck.
..
Igetit!
"
wellhewasr ightaboutthat!Myt ypeofgirlwas
youraverageglamourci tygirl
andLenadi dnot
fi
tthatcri
teri
aatal l
,withherlongsplitended
hairandbaggybl andclothes,somet i
mesI
wouldlookatherandf eelembar r
assedt oeven
beseenwi thher :-/

At
hi"
shesst
il
lav
irgi
nri
ght
?"
Me"
yeah"
Mj
"ohmant
hisi
sper
fect
!!
"
Me"
whati
s?"
Mj "
dude,
everyrealman'
sri
ghtofpassageist
o
defl
oweragirlandwhobett
erthanthebest
fr
iendwhotrustsyouwit
hherl
ife?
"
Zux"
thedancei
stheper
fectoppor
tuni
tymy
man!
"
Me"youguysarefucki
ngcrazy
!Im notgoi
ngt
o
sl
eepwit
hLena!!Plusshewouldneveragr
eet
o
suchmadness.
..
asij
oli
!!
"
Zux"thenjolanayekal
oku!Youhav
e
appr
oximat el
ytwoweekst odat
eherthenbang!
!
Li
ter
ally 
;) "Icoul
dntbel
i
evewhatIwas
hear
ing
Me"
youknowshesnotmyt
yper
ight
?"
Luzz"so?Loveem andl
eaveem dude!
"Ibi
tmy
l
ip,Icoul
dntdothatt
oLenanowcouldI?
Mj
"what
swr
ongman?Ar
eyouscar
ed?
"
Me"
ofwhat
?"
Mj"sl
eepingwit
hy ourfr
iendbecauseyou
act
uall
ylovehertoo?"Il
aughedhy st
eri
cal
l
y
Me"
what
?Me?Lov
eLena?Hel
lno!
!"
Athi"
thenwhyareyoufri
endswi t
hher?Dont
tel
lmei t
sbecauseyouactual
lybeli
eveboys
andgirl
scanactual
l
ybef r
iendsandnothing
morecost hat
sgayasfuckman! "
Me"no!ofcour
senot
,kwangokut
hef
ri
endshi
p
i
sfadi
ng"
At
hi"
thenev
enmor
ereasont
ofuckher
!"
Mj "
okayman, l
etsmakeabet .
..
sleepwit
hy our
vi
rginfri
endngemat ri
cdanceandwewi l
lgive
youy onkei
malithatwewillearninournexttwo
gigsandI'l
lev
ent hr
owi nCassie"
Me"
Cassi
e?Butshe'
syourgi
rl
!"
Mj "I
'v
eseent hewayy oubeenlooki
ngather
andshesnotmygi r
l,youknowIwouldnev ertie
my selfdownl ikethat,youcanhaveher.
..
just
foroneni ght"Mj '
sproposalsoundedappealing,
allourearningsf ortwogigsyonke,t
hatmeant
ngoDecemberIwoul dbeloadedmosand
get
ti
ngCassidyMonerwasgoi
ngt
obemy
hi
ghli
ghtoft
heyear
Me"fine,t
hebetison..
..
intwoweeksti
me,on
ourmat r
icdance,
Iwill
getinsi
deLena'
sgr
anny
pant
ies,youbestbel
ievethat
!"
 
Athi"
jabutwe'
renotj
ustgonnat
akey
ourwor
d
fori
t"If
rowned
Me"
whatdoy
oumean?
"
At
hi"
wewi
l
lneedpr
oof
"
Me"
youmeanl
i
keapi
ctur
es?
"
At
hi"
exact
lyorav
ideot
obemor
eexact
!"
Me" deal 
:) 
"weal
lshout
edcheersaswe
cl
inkedoutbeerbot
tl
esabdcar
riedonwit
hour
boy'
sni ght
..
..

Sor
ryLena
[
12/
02,
08:
47]Ron:
MyWor
stMi
stake
I
nser
tSev
en

Itwast imet oputsomepl ansi ntoacti

on,Ionly
hadt woweekst ogetLenat ot rustmeenough
tohav esexwi thmengemat ricdanceyethu.
Ther ewasnot imet owaste, Ihadt oconfess
my" undy i
ngl ove"toherandi ftheboyswer e
rightthenshewasgoi ngt ofal lri
ghti
ntomy
trap.Iwasachangedman, Ihadbecome
someonet otallydif
fer
ent,youguy smaylabel
measanasshol eandy eahIwasbutget ti
ng
whatIwant edwasmor ei mpor tanttomet han
any t
hingelse, Ievensacrif
icedmyf ri
endship
forit

AfewdayspassedandIav oi
dedukudibana
noLenabecauseIwantedmyconfessi
ont obe
moreeff
ectiv
esoittouchesherdeepl
y
Af
ter3daysofsuccessf
ull
yandpurposel
y
av
oidi
ngLena,shetookthebai
tandcall
edme
Me"
hey
"
Lena"
heyst
ranger
,whyar
eyouscar
ce?
"
Me"
no.
..
Iuhm.
..
Imj
ust
..
..
"
Lena"
busy
?"Shef
ini
shedf
orme
Me"
yeahbutt
hat
snott
her
eason"
Lena"
oh?
"
Me"
canIseey
ou?
"
Lena"
now?
"
Me"
yeah"
Lena"
uhj
asur
e"
Me"
great
,seey
oui
nabi
t 
:)
 "
Lena"okay
"shehungupandIgotoutofbed
ndanxi
bashushuthenndawal
kernday
akowabo

Shewasi
nherr
oom uf
ikakwam,
herdaddi
dnt
mindmebei ngathishouse,al
onewithhis
daughteratthoseti
mes, heknewwewer ej ust
fr
iendsbutwhathedi dntknowwast hat,Ihad
ult
eri
ormot ivesnow,Iwantedsomethingfrom
umnt anakhe.Anywayndafi
kaesebhedini
, i
twas
verycoldoutandsekuqalelaimvul
a
Lena"qui
ckgetin!
"Shesaidevul
aingubo,I
smil
edtomy sel
fthi
nkingt
hiswasgoingt obe
tooeasymos.Ndakhulul
aij
acketnezi
hlangu
andsli
dunderthecovers"
hi"
Me"
hi"
Lena"
Imi
ssedy
ou"
Me" metoo,I
m sorr
yforstayi
ngawayitsj
ust
thatI
m ali
tt
leuncomfort
ablearoundy
ounow"
shefrowned
Lena"
why?"Il
ookeddown"Zwhatswrong?
"I
l
ookedupather,
herfacewasf
il
ledwi
thworry
Me"it
susLena,
Idontknowt
obey
ourf
ri
end
any
mor e"
Lena"
whatdoy
oumean?
"
Me" ImeanIhav efeeli
ngsforyou,str
ong
feel
ingsandnowIcantbear oundyoubecause
Im seeingyoudi f
ferent
ly"shewasshockedbut
alsolookedlikesomeonewhohadbeenwai ti
ng
toheart hosewor dsforalongtime.Inthat
momentIknewt heboy swereri
ght,Lenareal
l
y
wasi nlovewi t
hme
Lena"Zusi
phe.
..
.Idontknowwhatt
osay"I
smil
ed,shewasmaki ngitt
ooeasy
 :
)
Me" justt
ell
mey oufeelthesamewayLens,
thatIam notaloneint hi
s"shebi
therli
pand
l
ookeddown, Ili
ft
edupherchi nsoshecould
l
ookatme.Il eanedinandhereyesclosed,
she
hadbeenwai tingforthatmoment ,
Ihadher
eati
ngoutofmyhead. .
..
Iwasgoingtowinthe
bet,nohassle!!

Iki
ssedherandsheresponded,
itwasabit
shakyandshewasntgivi
ngherall
sincei
twas
herfir
stkissandev er
yt hi
ng.Icouldtel
lfr
om
herstif
fbodyl anguaget hatshewasner vous
butshel etmel ead.Ilai
dheronherbacksl owly
thencli
mbedont opofher ,part
ingherl
egsasI
settl
edbet weent hem.Thel ongerwekissedt he
mor eIfelthereasingup, herhandsslowly
mov edtot ouchmybackandhol dmeti
ght,I
reachedunderherpy j
amat opforherbr
east ,
shedidntpr otestbutletoutssl i
ghtmoanasI
pinchedherni pplewit
hmyt humbandindex
fi
nger.

Itookof
fmyt opandherwar mshandsr an
downmybackonanexpl or
ationjourney,Iwas
getti
ngt
urnedon,If
eltmyer ectiongr owingin
mypants,Itr
iedt
opull downherpy j
amapant s
butsheref
usedandbr oketheki ssinsteadthen
l
ookedatme
Me"
Im sor
ryi
fIt
ooki
ttoof
ar"
Lena"
It
sokay
"ndasukaphezukwakheand
pul
l
edhert
omychest
Me"I
minlovewithyouLena,
pleasesayyou'
ll
gi
veusachance"sheti
l
tedherheadtolookup
atme
Lena" Il
oveyoutoo"Ismil
edandki
ssedher
foreheadthenwaphindawalal
aesf
ubeni
sam
andwespendourf i
rstni
ghtas
"boyfri
end&Gir
lf
ri
end"

Lenawasr eallyi
nlovewithmebutIcoul dnt
sayt hesamef ormyself
,li
keIsaidbef or
e,she
wasnotmyt ypeatallandtheonl yr
easonIwas
withherwasbecauseoft hebetImadewi thmy
fr
iends.Thingswerenotsodi ff
erentbetween
usqhawej ustaddedthet i
tl
eofdating,we
ki
ssedanddi dwhatcouplesdo, wemadeouta
l
otbecauseIwasr eadyi
ngherf orsex,maki ng
hersowett hatsomet i
mesIcoul dfeelherbody
call
ingouttome.Wedi dntspeakaboutsexy et,
whichmakessensecoswehadonl ybeen
dati
ngaweekbutIwasgoi
ngt
oletherbr
ingup
thesubj
ect

Aweekpassedandthi
ngswi
thLenawer
e
escal
ati
ngf
ast,
Ionl
yhadonemoreweekto
makeherwanttogi
veher
sel
ftomeandIwas
cl
ose.

TheboysandIwerepract
isi
ngforagigat
somelocal
club,
itwasapay i
nggigofcour
se
Me"aaahhhnextt
imewehav
eagig,allour
ear
ningswi
llcometome,
Iam soexci
ted"t
hey
l
aughed
At
hi"wowman,i
fIm bei
nghonest
..
.Ij
ust
want
edtosay
,Idi
dntthi
nkyoucouldpul
litof
f"
Mj
"Idi
dnott
hinky
oucoul
dei
ther
"
Me"
what
?Whatmadey
ouguy
sthi
nkt
hat
?"
Zux"
youhav
ethet
endencyt
oactl
i
keapunk
bi
tchsomet i
mes,li
key
ouaintgotnomore
nuts.
..
.someti
mesIgotscar
edyouwere
growingavagina"
Mj"
hahahahabuty ouar
eslowlyprovingt
ous
t
hatyou'
reareal
man!Seal thedealandwewil
l
wel
comey outorealmanhood"Ismiled
Me"Idefi
nit
elywillboy
s,wat
chmedoma
t
hang!"Theylaughed
Luzz"hahahali
stentot
hiscockyfucker
!!How
sureareyouthatthi
schi
ckwillgi
veupthe
goods?"
Me" wit
hthewayI'
vet
reat
ingher
?Shewil
lbe
beggingmefort
heD ;) 
"baphi
ndebahl
eka
Zux"hahahawow!!WhatcanIsay,l
etssee
whathappensthen"Sahl
ekasonkethencar
ri
ed
onwithpract
ice

Lat
eronLenacametov i
sitmeatmyplace,we
madeouti
nmyr oom asusualandsheevenlet
mef i
ngerher ,shewassowet .
...
Iwantedtor i
p
hercl othesof fandsi nkmy selfdeepinsideher,
hermoanst urnedmeonev enmor ei
tst ar
tedto
hur t
.If i
ngeredherunt i
lshecame, af
terherfir
st
orgasm, shewassoembar rassedthatshehi d
herf aceinmychest .Ichuckledathercut eness
andf eltat wistinmyhear t
.Ihel dhercloseto
meandf orami nutethereitfeltgoodandIf elt
l
ikeIwaswher eIalway sbelonged.She
wr appedherar msar oundmeandpul ledme
close, Iki
ssedt het opofherheadandIf el
ther
smi leagainstmychest .Thewar mthsur gi
ng
throughmybodyi nthatmomentscar edmesoI
pulledawayandl if
tedupherchi n
Me"let
st al
kaboutthematr
icdance"Isai
d,
supr
essingthefeel
i
ngIhadandshov i
ngaway
thet
houghtsIwashav i
ng
Lena"
whatabouti
t?"
Me" i
tsnextweekbaby
,weshoul
dgetour
t
icket
s"
Lena"
youwantt
ogo?
"
Me"
ofcour
se,
donty
ou?
"
Lena"
Idi
dntt
hinkabouti
t"
Me" i
tsallI'
vethi
nkingabout
,Ij
ustwantto
enj
oyt hatnightwit
hy ouwher
eitwi
llbeal
l
aboutus, Iwil
levenbookusaroom"
Lena"
aroom?
"
Me" ewesot hatxaudini
we,orsidi
niwewecan
j
ustgotheresi y
olalai
nst
eadofwor ryi
ngabout
dri
vi
ngallthewayhomeebsuku"shebi therl
i
p
andshealway slookedsoadorablexaesenza
l
onto,If
eltthattwisti
nmyhear tagai
n.She
l
ookedupatmeandsmi led
Lena"
okay
 ^
_^ 
l
etsgett
het
icket
sngomso"
Me" great 
:) 
"Iki
ssedherfor
eheadthen
ndaml al
isaonmychestagain.
..
str
uggl
ingnot
tothinkaboutherasmorethanjustasi
ll
y
bet 
: -/
Mat
ri
cDanceDay
!!

Yadey af i
kalemi niibikadei xelwa  ; ) 
Iwentt o
bookt her oom f ormnanoLena, Iplaceda
camer abehi ndt hef lower swher eIknewi t
woul dbeacl earv iewf ort heev i
dencet heboy s
want ed.Af t
ert hat, Iwentt ogetmyhai rdone
thennday ot
hat hamysui t.Lenahadgonedr ess
shoppi ngalone, wat hiIshoul di ncor porate
mar oonkwi nt oendi zoyinxi basoi niti
allyIgot
mysel fmar oonpant sfor mal pant s,abl ack
shirt,
mar oonbl azorandamar oonbowt i
e.
Ndaf i
kaekhay aandt ri
edi ton, damnIl ooked
fuckinggood! !Ndakhendaci nganj endi mhle
kangakauLenauz onxi bant oni y ena...
.Idreaded
i
t,y hothatgirl!Shehadt erriblet astein
clothes..
.phofu  ezinxi t
ywanguy ebecausef or
otherpeopl e,shej ustknewexact lywhatwoul d
l
ookgoodandwoul df itkakuhl e.SoIcoul d
alreadyimagi newhatawf ul thingshewasgoi ng
towear .
..
whoa! ! - _-
Any wayphal ati
es,Itookal onghotshower
thenloti
onedmybody ,ndaqali
saukunxi ba.
Uqgibakwam Ibr ushedmyhai rthencal l
ed
Lenandamxel el
ebaIam onmyway .Iwentt o
theloungeandmymom wassohappyand
proud.Endincomaukubamhl eandal lthat,
just
l
ikeanymot herwoul d.Mydadj usttoldmet hat
IlookedgoodandIshoul dhavef un,ndi mhoye
uLenaandmakesur eshei ssafe.Bot hour
parentsdidnotknowt hatwewer edat ing,t
hey
thoughtwewer estil
l f
ri
endssomyul teri
or
mot i
veswer eknownt ojustmy selfandmy
boys.

Somydadgav emet hekeystohisAudiandI

drov
edownt oLena'
shouse.Thegatesopened
andIdrov
ein,thef
uncti
onwasgoi ngtostar
tat
7pm andtheti
mewasal r
eady6:30pm which
meantsobalat
e.Anywayherdadt ol
dmet o
waitdownst airsforher ,shewasgoi ngtobe
downi naf ewmi nutes.Kwaphel alike2mi nutes
ndili
ndil
eandf inall
yshecamedown.Mymout h
fellopen...
.shewor eal ongmer maidcut
mar oondr esst hatshapedev erysingleoneof
herdeliciouscur ves.IhadnoI deat hatLena
hadsuchabangi ngbody ,shehadanhourgl ass
shape, t
hatf igureinher , f
latstomach, t
hose
hipsandmosti mpor tant l
yt hatass!!Dayuum! !
Herbodi ce, wasaV- cutt hatexposedaper fect
cleavageofherper fectbr easts,hermakeup
wasdar kandheav y,finishedof fwithdar k
mar oonl i
pstick,herhai rfell i
nsoftcur l
stoher
shoulders.Shesmi ledatmeandIcoul dnthelp
butsmi letoo.Iwassur prised...
sososo
pleasantlysur pri
sed!!Shehadgoneal loutto
l
ookgood, tolookgoodf orme! !

Iswall
owedhar
dthenwentt
omeetheratt
he
bott
om oft
hestai
rs
Me" wow!"Andthatwasal lIcouldsay.She
smil
edandt ookmyhand.Herdadt ookpict
ures
ofusthensentusof f.Ndamv ul
elaimotoand
shegotinthennday ongenakwi dri
ver'
sseat.I
star
edather,appreciat
ingherfrom headtotoe
Lena"
you'
rest
ari
ng"
Me"howcanInotst
are,
Youl
ookamazi
ng!
"
Shebl
ushed
Lena"
thanky
ou"
Me"Lena,Ihav
enev
erseeny
oul
ookl
i
ket
his
bef
ore!
!"
Lena"aunti
Maggsencouragedmet ogoal
l
out.
..
iti
smymat ri
cfar
ewellandyou'
remy
boyfr
iendsoIshoul
dlooknicefory
ou"
Me"wow,Ishoul
dki
ssaunt
ieMaggsmos"she
l
aughed
Lena"
youl
ookgoodt
oo,
Ilov
eyoursui
t"
Me"Iwant
edt
olookgoodf
oryoutoobaby
"She
smi
l
edandIst
artedt
hecar
,dr
ivi
ngtoour
dest
inat
ion

Saf i
kaatthehot elsayakwi conf
erencehall
wher et
hef uncti
onwashel d.Assoonaswe
steppedin,alleyeswer eonusphof uonLena.
Noonehadev erseenherlikethatbefor
eandI
feltsohappyandpr oudthatIwasherdat e 
:)

Mj"Dayuum!!Yourgir
lsur
edoescl
eanup
ni
cely
!"Hesaidtomewhi l
ewewenttoget
dr
inksforourdates
Me"
Iknow!Shesur
pri
sedmet
oo"
Mj
"Im sur
eyoucantwai
ttonai
lher
"Il
aughed
Me" mfet
hu!
!Ij
ustwantt
ori
pthatdr
essof
fher
kungoku!
"
Mj"y
ouar
ealuckybastard!Seei
ngherl
i
ket
hat
makesmewi
shIhadt akenthebet"
Me"
hahahawel
lshesal
lmi
ne!
"
Mj "again..
.l
uckybast ard!
"Helaughedt oothen
sabuy el
akwi dateszethu.Thefarewel lwasnt
muchwet hu,therewerespeechesf r om the
headgi rlandboy ,
RCLchai r
person, some
teacherst henkwat yiwathenther eal party
began. .
..
wedancedandt ookpictures, Lenawas
soshyt hatsheonl ytookthepicturest hensat
downandwat chedpeopl edancing.It r
iedtoget
hert odancewi thmebutshewasnthav i
ngit.
KodwawhenIsl owsongcameon, If orcedher
ontot hedancef l
oor.Grabbi
ngherbyhert i
ny
waist,Ipul l
edhercl osetomeandwemov edto
ther yt
hmn

Me"
hav
ingf
un?
"
Lena"
it
snotsobad,
Im ki
ndat
ir
edt
hough"
Me"
sizohambaaf
tert
hisdance"
Lena"
okay
"
Me"
your
eal
l
ydol
ookgr
eatt
oni
ghtLena"
Lena"
thanky
ou 
:)
 "
Me"Ifoundmysel
fwantingtoki
l
lanyguywho
l
ookedatyou"shechuckled
Lena"
real
l
y?"
Me"y es,Ihadnoi deaIwouldbesoj ealous"
andImeantt hat
,Iwantedtoleapandki llany
guythatev enlookedatmygi r
lthatnight.At
onepoi ntndandif
unanokumnxi bi
samyj acket
andcov erherup
Lena"wel
lyoudonthav
etobe,
all
thi
sisf
or
you"Ismi
led
Me"let
sgo"Itookherhandandl
edherout
af
tersayi
nggoodbyetosomefri
endsandcl
ass
mates

Saf
ikaer
oomi
niandshethr
ewhersel
font
he
bedmnanday
olal
aecankwakhe
Lena"
thi
sisani
cer
oom"
Me"Iwantedt
omakesur
eyou'
recomf
ort
abl
e"
shet
urnedtof
aceme
Lena" whenIm wi t
hy ou,howcanInotbe
comf ortabl
e"shesmi ledatmeandmyhear t
startedraci
ng,whywasIsuddenl yfeel
i
ngthat
way .Shehadat wi
nkleinherey esandIhad
diff
icult
yseeingherasj ustabetImadewi t
h
fri
endsandnot hi
ngmor e.Shereachedoutand
touchedmyf acetenderlythenpull
edmeinfor
akiss

Wesl owl yundr essedeachot herandIwas

surprisedtoseeherwear ingbl acklace
mat chingunder wear .Icouldnthel pbutstar
eat
herbeaut if
ul body ,sheheldmyheadandmade
meki ssheragai n,Iwasnowl eftwithmybriefs
andy enawi thipant ynjeqha, Ipulleditdown
andspl itherthighst henwentf orhercli
t,i
massagedi tgent lyincir
cularf orms,she
moanedwhi chi ndicat
edthatshewasenj oyi
ng
i
t.Icoul dntfighttheur gesoImov edmyl ips
from her sndehl el
atoherneckt hent oher
breast s,suckingoneni ppl egentlyatat i
me,she
archedherbackandhel dmyhead.Imov ed
furtherdownt oherst omach, ndafakaul wimiin
hernav elandshegi ggl ed, Ismi l
edt hen
ndehl elatobet weenhert highs.Istartedby
kissingheri nnerthighst henf i
nallyIwenti nfor
theki l
l.Shewasf eelingembar r
assedt hatIwas
downt here,Icouldt ellbyhershaki ngl egsand
thewayshewassor eluctantbutImadesur eto
easehert ensionandi nnot ime,shewas
moani nglikehellandl ettingmer oam ar ound
freely.

Idi
dntwaitforhertocum, i
nsteadIwentback
uptokissher,shewasbey ondwetandr eady
soIreachedforthedrawerandt ookoutthe
condomsIhadst ashedinthereduri
ngthetime
ndfi
kauzobookishair
oom.It ookoffmy
underwearandkneltphezukwakhet hensli
don
thecondom.Shewaslooki
ngatme, well
l
ookingatmyDandsheseemedhor r
if
iedbuti
t
wasnormalmossinceitwasherfi
rstti
me
seei
ngapenisri
ghti
nfront
.Iopenedherlegs
andlai
dontopofher
Me" areyousureaboutthi
s?"Shejustnodded
andkissedme.Il i
ft
edherlegupandt r
iedto
enterher
, shewasclosedshutsoitwashardto
getinandshekeptpushingmeawaybecause
ofthepain" doy
ouwantust ostop?"Ifi
nal
ly
asked
Lena"
no,
Im sor
ry"
Me"
it
sokaybaby ,
Iknowi
thurt
s..
.Idontwant
t
ohur
tyou"hehehehowir
oni
c -_- 
Lena"
it
sokay
,It
rusty
ou"
 
Me" justrel
axokay?Iwonthurtyou"hahaha
yeahr i
ght!Myinnerconsci
encebarkedatme,I
i
gnor editndazamaf ut
hiukungena,
thi
stime
holdi
ngheri nplace.Fi
nal
lyIwasinandshe
screamed
Me"uxol
obaby,xol
o"shenoddedandbi
therl
i
p,
wi
thst
andingt
hepainandIstar
tedmovi
ng
i
nsi
deher

Whi l
eshewasi nobv iouspai n,Iwasi nheav en!
Shewassot ightandwar m Ifel
tli
keIwas
goingt ocum r i
ghtint hatmoment .Icl
osedmy
eyeswhi l
eget t
inglosti nsideher,thewaywe
j
ustf i
ttoget heritwasl ikeourbodi eswer e
madef oreachot her.Iopenedmyey est olook
ather,her swer eclosedshutandshel ookedso
damnbeaut i
ful
!Thepai nfultwisti
nmyhear t
i
ntensified,whatwashappeni ngtome?Bei ng
withLenal ikethatbr oughtupf eel
ingst hatI
couldntev enexpl ai
n, shewashol dingmeso
ti
ghtlikeherl if
edependedoni t
,shet r
ust edme
andIwasj ustanasshol ewhomadeadumb
bet!

Af
terawhi
l
e,If
inal
l
yletgoofmygui
l
ty
consci
enceandl etevery
thi
ngoutwithone
deepgrowlogqibandalalaesf
ubenisakhe.She
wrappedhersel
far oundmeandkissedme.

Whenshewasf astasl
eep,Iwentt
ocheckon
thecamerathatIhadhidden.Iwat
chedthe
footageandsmiledtomy sel
f,j
obwel
ldone
Zero,jobwel
ldone :)

Thefol
lowi
ngweek,onMondayIhandedthe
foot
ageovertot
heguysandtheycongr
atulat
ed
meonwi nningt
hebet,
Iwasproudofmy self
Me"alr
ight
!!NowMJ,
whendoIgetCassi
e?"He
l
aughed
Mj"anyt
imemyman,
she'
swai
ti
ngf
ory
our
cal
l
"
Me"
alr
ight
!!
"
Athi
"speaki
ngaboutgir
ls,whatar
ey ougoi
ng
todoaboutyourgi
rl
fr
iend"Isi
ghed,Ihadwon
thebetsot heboy sexpectedmet odumpLena
butmyhear tdidntwanttolethergo.Aft
erthe
amazi ngweekendIhadwi thher,t
heideaofus
beingt oget
herwasntsoabomi nabl
e..
.t
he
feeli
ngwast hereanditwasr eal
Me"well
IguessIwi
l
lhav
etoj
ustf
indawayt
o
l
ethergogent
ly"
Athi
"thebestwayi
stomakeherhat
eyouso
shewalksawayonherown"
Me" shewillhatemeany way.
..
ImeanI'
ll
be
dumpi ngherrightaf
terwehadsexsoImj ust
gonnagi v
eaweekorso"t heyl
aughed
Zux"
smar
tmov emymanbutIt
hinky
oushoul
d
makeacl
eanandeasycut
"
Me"Iam t
err
ibl
eatbr
eakupsandLenai
snot
j
ustany
one"
Mj
"heyl
ookman,
dowhaty
ougot
tado"
Luzz"
aaahhht
hatgi
rlr
eal
l
yisCi
nder
ell
ane?
"I
fr
owned
Me"
whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?"
Luzz"atthefarewellf
uncti
onshelookedlikea
fr
eakinsexgoddessbutbi ppit
yboppityboom
andshesbackt oheroldblandsel
f.Imean
seri
ously!
"IturnedtofaceLenaandshewas
backtoherol dschoolunif
orm andponytail
hai
r,exactl
ythekindofgirlIwasntint
o.Itooka
deepbreathandwal kedovertoherasshe
cal
ledme
Me"
seey
oul
atergent
s"
Mj
"sur
emf
ethu"ndabashi
yanday
akuy
e

Lena"hey
"shetri
edtokissmebutImoved
back,
Isuddenl
yfeltembarr
assedt
obeseen
wit
hher
Me"
hey
"shef
rowned
Lena"
arey
ouokay
?"
Me"
yeahI
mfi
ne"
Lena"
okay
,masi
yohl
alai
nourpl
ace"
Me"Icant,
theboysandIwer
ediscussi
ng
somethi
ngimport
antbef
oreuf
ike"
Lena"
oh?
"
Me"
jasoIhav
etogobackt
othem"
Lena"
wil
lIseey
ouaf
terschool
?"
Me"Ihav ebandpr
acti
ce"Icoul dseethehurt
anddisappoint
menti
nherey esbutIcoul
dnt
hel
pit,shebecameunnattractivet
omeal l
over
agai
nxandi mbonaeskolweni ,
whatIsawnge
weekendandwhatattractedmewasgone
Lena"
whenwi
l
lI.
..
..
"
Me"
IdontLena.
..
I'
l
lcal
lyou"
Lena"okay"ndaj
i
kandahambaandl
efther
standi
ngthereal
one

Afewdayspassedwi
thoutmespendingany
t
imewit
hLena,Imadeeveryexcusei
nthebook
nottobewi thherandIknewIwashur t
ingbut
nam Iwasst rugglingwi t
hmyf eeli
ngs.Iwasnt
att
ractedtoherany mor ebutmyhear tf
elt
di
fferent
ly,shehaddef i
nitel
yfoughtherwayin
byjustbeingher selfandt obehonest,t
he
i
mageIhadeskol weni didnotall
owmet obe
dati
ngsuchagi rl.
..
nowt heLenaatt hefarewel
l
partywasmyki ndofgi rl
 :-/

AnywayitwasaFriday,Iar
ri
vedatschool and
peopl
ewerelooki
ngatmef unnyasifkukhona
somethi
ngeyenzekil
eyothatIdi
dntknowabout .
Ndafi
kakwiboysandt heywereontheirphones
l
aughing
Me"
what
ssof
unny
?"
Mj
"av
ideoIpost
ed 
:)
 "
Me"whatkindofvideo"wazakum
wazondi
bonisaandIalmostdiedonthespot
whenIsawt hevi
deoofmeandLenahav i
ng
sexbutmyf acewasfizzl
edoutsonoone
wouldknowi twasme, onlythoseatt
hemat r
ic
dancewiththei
rspeculat
ionsandguessesbut
uLenayenaway evel
eascl earasdayl
ight
!!
.I
star
edatMJ' sphoneindisbeli
ef,myheart
beati
ngviol
entl
yagainstmyr ibcage
Athi"
well wellwel
l
,ifi
tisntthestaroft
he
show!"Ilookedupandt herewasLena, herey
es
werebloodr edandfil
l
edwi thtears,
Iswall
owed
hard,
shet urnedandranaway ..
.myheartsank
tomyf eet..
..
whathadIdone  :( 
:(
[
12/
02,
08:
48]Ron:
MyWor
stMi
stake

I
nser
tEi
ght

IstartedtorunafterherbutMjgrabbedmyarm,
Iturnedaroundandpunchedhi mt henhefel
lto
thegr oundogqibandabalekaandranaft
erLena.
WhenIgott othegate,shewasalreadyi
nthe
carandFr eddypulledint
otheroadthendrov
e
off.Ndagobaandbur iedmyheadi nmy
hands...
Igotupandwat chedthecardisappear
.
Afterstandingther
eforwhatseemedl i
kean
eternit
y,If
eltangerri
singupinsideme, It
urned
backnday akwezaguy s,Mjwassitt
edona
deskandhi smout hwasbl eeding,
ndandingazangendabet haumnt ubeforebutI
fel
tlikedoingitagai
nassoonasIsawhi sface

Me"whatthehel
lman?
!Whyt
hef
uckwoul
d
youdothi
s?"
Mj
"Iwasonl
ytr
yingt
ohel
pyouout
!"
Me"helpme?Youupl oadedt
hevi
deo!
!You
embarr
assedLena..
.howcoul
dyoudothi
s?She
doesnotdeser
vethi
s!!'
At
hi"
cal
m downman"
Me"cal
m down?HowcanIfuckingcal
m down
whenmygirl
fr
iendi
scr
yingr
ightnowbecause
ofme?"
Mj"gi
rl
fri
end?It
houghty
ouwant
edt
oend
t
hings"
Me"notl
iket
hisyoucrazyf
ucker!
!Lenaisa
pur
eandnicegir
l,shedi
dnotdeservet
his!
!!
"He
l
aughed
Mj"pure?Aftert
hav i
deo?Itprovessheis
anythi
ngbutpure!Besides,Iwashelpi
ngyou!
Thiswayy oudonthavet odealwit
hexcess
baggage,shewillhat
ey ouforev
er"
Athi"
whatarey ousoupsetaboutman?Youdi d
thi
s..
.y
ou'r
etheonewhot ookt hebet
,play
ed
herandtapedthewholething"Isi
ghedoutloud,
hewasr i
ght,
ifIhadnotplayedwithLena,
nothi
ngli
kethiswouldhavehappened.

Iturnedar
oundndaphumaecl
assi
ni,
Zux
foll
owedme
Zux"
dude,
arey
ouokay
?"Il
ookedathi
m
Me"
howcanIbe?If
eel
awf
ul!Hur
ti
ngherl
i
ke
t
his.
..
IdontknowwhatIwast
hinki
ngman"
Zux"
well
,yousoldyoursoul
man..
.t
hisist
he
ki
ndofshi
tthathappenswheny
ou...
..
"
Me" Iknow,Iwassocaughtupinthi
swhole
populari
tyt
hing,
Ilostmy
selfandIhurther
"
Zux"
sowhatar
eyougoi
ngt
odo?
"
Me"IdontknowZux,al
lIknowist
hatIneedt
o
atl
eastt
rytomakethisri
ght"
Zux"okayman"hepat tedmeont heshoulder
thenwahamba.If el
tparaly
sedandwal ked
slowlyt
oourclass,peoplewerestari
ngatme
andIwasntsurei fi
twasbecauset heyknewit
wasmeont hevideoorbecauseLenawasmy
bestfri
end,wel
lIdidntevendeser
v etheti
tl
eof
beingherfr
iendl
etalonebestfri
end

ThewholedayIwasonautopil
ot,Icouldnt
st
opt hi
nki
ngaboutLenasoaf
terschool,I
walkedtoherhomeandrangt
hebel legati
ni,
ndav
ulel
waandIwalkedi
n.Ndangenaendl
i
ni
andherdadwasnthomebutaunt
ieMaggsmet
meatthedoor
Maggs"ohZusi
phe!You'
reher
e!!Me"
yes,
mayI
seeLena?
"
Maggs" shei
sveryupset
,somethi
ngter
ri
ble
happenedatherschool
.Shewil
lbehappyto
seeyou"
Me"
wher
eisshe?
"
Maggs"
inherr
oom"
Me" t
hankyou"Iwal keduptoLena'
sroom and
knockedonce,therewasnoanswersoIopened
thedoorndangena.Shewasi nherbedfaci
ng
thewindow,sobbingsoftl
y

Me" Lena?"Iwal
kedtowardsthebedandshe
didntmoveorsayany t
hing"
LenaIam sosorr
y!
Inevermeantforany
thingli
kethi
stohappen"
sheturnedtofaceme.Herwholefacewasred
andwetf
rom al
lthet
ear
s
Lena"Ijusthaveonequest i
on"Inodded, she
satupandwi pedhert ears" wasanyofi treal?"I
l
ookeddown, honest
lyIdi dntl oveLena, yesI
hadbeenat tr
actedtoheratt hemat r
icdance
becauseshehadswi tchedt hingsupabi tbutI
didntseeherthatwayatal l"ifyousayy ouf eel
somet hi
ngformeZusi phet henIwi l
lfindaway
pastthisandwecanbet oget her.Justt ellme,
doy oufeelaboutmet hewayIf eel abouty ou?"
Iswallowedthelumpi nmyt hroat,Icouldntl i
e
toher
Me"LenaIfeelbadaboutever
ythi
ng,Ihadno
i
deathoseguyswouldpostthev i
deo,i
twas
j
ustsomesill
ybetandI..
..
"
Lena"abet
?Thatsall Iwas..
.abet
?Youused
mesoy oucouldi
mpr essy ourdumbfriends?
Soitwasal
lalie.
..
.everyt
hingwasalie? "She
sai
dalmostbreat
hlesslyinasmallvoice
Me"
I'
m sor
ryLena"
Lena"i
fsor
rywasenoughthenwhyar
ether
e
poli
ceandl
awsintheworl
d?"
Me"
what
?"
Lena" sowhatZusi phe..
.youthoughty ouwere
goingt ousemet oimpressy ourst upidfri
ends
thencomeher eandt el
lmey ou'resor r
y?How
doest hatmaket hingsright
?Wi lli
ttakeaway
thepai nofbeingbetrayedandhur tbyy ou?Will
i
ter aset hatvi
deo?Wi l
litmakeev eryoneunsee
i
t?Wi llittakeawaytheembar rassmentand
shame? "Iopenedmymout hbutwor dsdidnt
comeout" howcouldyoudot histome?Iknow
youdontl ovemebutIatl eastt houghty ouare
myf riend"
Me"
Iam"
Lena"friendsdontdot hi
st oeachother,
they
dontplayeachot her ,
coaxeachot herint
osex,
tapeitthenpostitt othewhol eworl
dt osee!
!!
Youknowwhat .
..
.Idontev enknowwhyI m
tal
kingtoy ou,getout !
"
Me"
Lena.
..
."
Lena"dontyoudareevensaymynamewith
dir
tyf
ilt
hymouth!Getout!
"Ist
oodther
eunabl
e
tomov e"di
dntyouhearme?Isai
dgetout
!"
Me"
Lena.
..
."
Lena"ify
oudontl
eaveZusiphe.
..
"It
urned
ndayophumaemnyango,sayi
nggoodbyeto
aunt
iemaggsogqibandagoduka

Af ewday spassed, Lenadidntcomet oschool ,

Iwaswor ri
edaboutherbutIkeptmydi stance
from her,Iwast heoneatf aul
t,shehatedme
andIdi dnotbl ameher .MjandIwer est i
llat
oddst hough, Iwasonl yspeakingtoZux
becauseheseemedt obet heonlyonewho
understood,theot hermor onskeptpoi nti
ngout
thatIwast heonewhopl ayedherandt heywere
ri
ght,Ididntlov eher,Iusedherpur efeelings
againsthertogetwhatIwant edandt heonl y
thingthatcoul dmakemef eelbett
erwas
Cassi
dy.Mj
'
sgir
lthatwaspar
tofmybet
winni
ngswi
thMj

Icall
edherov erngeweekendandj ustl
etital
l
reapinsideher .If
uckedhersohar d,
Ithought
myDwasgoi ngt obreak!Icamesohar dbythe
ti
mewewer edone, mypeni swassoreand
swollen.Wel aidonthebed, ourhear
tbeats
graduall
yslowi ngdownt onormal
Cassi
e"wow!Thatwasamazi
ng!
"Ismi
l
edat
her
,sheki
ssedme
Me"
itt
rul
ywas"
Cassi
e"It
houghtyouwerenev ergoi
ngtocall
meespeci
all
yafterwhathappenedwithLena"
Me"
let
snott
alkabouther
"
Cassi
e"okaybutI
m gl
ady
oucal
l
ed"
Me"Im happyIcal
l
edy
ou 
:)
 Ihel
dherhead
andki
ssedher
Yaphel
aiveki
andLenasti
l
ldidnotshowupat
school
,Ist
art
edtogetr
eall
yworri
edkengoku,
whywasntshecomingtoschool
?

Iwenthomeaf terschoolandmymom wasi

n
thekit
chen,Ichangedoutofmyuni
for
m
ndayohlal
anayeekitchen
Mom "
Zusi
phe,
umgqi
bel
eni
niuLena?
"
Me"
uhkudal
aMamawhy
?"
Mom " whatdoy oumeankudal a?Arey ounot
herbestfri
end?"Ilookeddown" Iheardwhat
happenedtoher !Aaahhhsomeboy sarejustso
cruel
!Whowoul dwantt ohurtsuchani ce
i
nnocentgirll
ikeLena?Doy ouknowofany one
whohat esherthatmuch?Theboy fr
iend?"I
shookmyhead" thati
ssounf ort
unate,Icannot
beli
eveabanyeabant u!Suchcruelt
y!!You
shouldgoandseet hepoorgirl
,sheneeds
you..
..
Ihav enoi deahowshewi l
lgetpassed
thi
s.Ever y
onei stal
kingaboutthis..
..
it
snotjust
youschool kids!Yhu!Hayndi r
halelaukuyaziba
ngumnt anakabani loonentl
izi
yoemdakakanj e
soast odot hisispoorLena!"Icouldntli
stento
heranymor e,mymom woul ddiei fsheheard
thatI
mt heguywhodi dthattoLena

Thefol
lowi
ngday,
Lenawasntatschool
eit
her
souphumakweskolonday
akowaboandIwas
metbyaunti
eMaggsatthedoor
Maggs"
ohZusi
phe!Mol
omnt
anam"
Me"
eweaunt
ieMaggs,
uyaphi
l
a?"
Maggs"
eweal
thoughIam al
i
ttl
esad"
Me"
why
?Wher
eisLena?
"
Maggs"
shedi
dntt
ell
you?
"
Me"
tel
lmewhat
?"
Maggs"
missLenahasl
eft
,shel
eftaf
ewday
s
ago"
Me"
lef
t?Wher
edi
dshego?
"
Maggs" t
oSeat tl
e, becauseofwhathappened
toheratschool,thel i
ttl
eMisscriedev eryday,i
t
seemsl i
ketheper sonwhobet rayedherwas
someoneshet r
ust edimmensely, shecouldnt
recoverf
rom theshock.Herf athefcoul dntbar
e
toseehisdaught erthatwaysomi ssLenasaid
shewant edtoleav e.Herfat
herdidnothesi tat
e
totakehisdaught er" 
Me"
howcanshel
eav
e?I
tsal
mostf
inal
s"
Maggs"shewi
llcont
inueherst
udi
esi
nSeat
tl
e,
i
twontbeaproblem"Inodded
Me" didshesaywhodidt
histoher?"Iwasjust
askingtomakesurebuti
nallhonesty,Iwas
surebaIwouldntbest
andinginthathouseis
theyknewitwasme
Maggs"
no,i
tissosad.
..
.missLenai
ssucha
ni
cegi
rl
,al
wayssowarm, ki
nd,l
ovi
ng,gi
vi
ng
andsmi l
ing.Shebroughtsomuchl if
et othis
house, yeswear ejustherempl oyeesbutshe
treatedusl i
kefamily.Tell
ingourchil
drent o
comest aywithusdur i
ngt heDecember
holidaysthenshewoul dbeabi gsist
ert othem,
takingcar eofthem whilewewor ked..
.sheis
definit
elysomet hi
ngspeci al
.Shedidnot
deser v
et hisatall
,thepersonwhodi dthist o
her,issuchanev i
lboy!"
Me"y
esheis"ndat
shokanci
nci
"soi
sshe
comi
ngback?"
Maggs"
Idoubti
t"
Me"
what
?Butt
hisi
sherhome"
Maggs" missLenahasl
iv
edallovertheworl
d
becauseofmrSeptember'
sbusiness,wher
e
eversheisnowisherhome"
Me"
butaunt
ieMaggs.
..
..
"
Maggs"
Iknowitssurpr
isi
ngandhurti
ngbuti
t
i
swhatt
helit
tl
emi sswantedandneeded,
we
mustr
espectherdeci
sion"Inoddedsl
owl
y
Maggs" dontworr
y,Iam surethatshewi l
l
contactyouonceshe'ssettl
ed"ndaphinda
ndavumanj ecosIknewt hatwasnev ergoi
ngt
o
happen
Me"Ishoul
dgetgoi
ngthen,
Iwi
l
lseey
ou
ar
oundaunti
eMaggs"
Maggs"al
ri
ght
"Ismi
l
edf
aint
lyathert
hen
ndahamba.

Itst
art
edr ai
ningandIwalkedslowlyintherai
n
withalumpi nmyt hr
oatandtearsinmyey es,
Lenawasgoneandi twasallmyfault.
..
.how
wasIev ergoingt
ol i
vewit
hmy selfforwhatI
haddone?

(Mymostsi
ncereapologi
esfornotkeepi
ngmy
promi
se,
Iwil
lmakeitupt oyouthoughwith
backt
obackinser
tstoday.Aft
eranhourIwill
postt
henextone.
..
Thanky
ouf
ory
ourpat
ience)
[
12/
02,
08:
49]Ron:
MyWor
stMi
stake

I
nser
tNi
ne

Ei
ghtYear
sLat
er

Lena.
..
..
..
..

AssoonasIsteppedoutoft heair
por
ttermi
nal
i
nCapeTownI nter
nati
onal,Itooki
nonelung
fi
l
li
ngbreat
hofSout hAfr
icanairandexhal
ed
wit
hasmi l
e.Iwassohappyandexci t
ed,Iwas
bubbl
i
nginside
Deluka"wow!Thelastt
imeIsawy ousmili
ng
l
ikethatwaswhenwef inal
l
ymov edtoLAso
youcouldbeclosertoy
ourdad"Ilookedathi
m
andsmi l
ed
Me" wel
li
tsal
waysbeenmydr
eam t
oopena
Chaoti
cbouti
quei
nmyhomecountr
y,al
though
Imissmydad :(
 "
Ni
kol
aj"
yourdadi
sfi
ne"
Me"yeahIknow,Iam her
eonlybecauseIknow
he'
shappywithhi
snewwi fe"
Ni
kolaj
"wel
lthi
sisy
ourt
imebabe"Il
ookedat
hi
m andsmil
ed
Me" Iwontdi
sputethat,oohhourcari
shere!
!"A
blackSUVparkedinfrontofusandwegoti n
"areyouguysreadytoseet henewhouse?
"
Deluka"I
'
m soexci
ted 
:D 
!!Youhav
entseeni
t
ei
therhaveyou?
"
Me"
no,
justt
hepi
ctur
esandt
heyl
ookgood"
Nikol
aj"
alr
ightguys,
let
sgoseeournewhome
andgetChaoticSout
hAf r
icaupandr
unni
ng!
"
Me"okay 
:)
 "t
hedri
verpul
l
edoutoft
he
par
kingar
eaandont
otheroad
Aswedr ov et othenewhouse, Ilookedoutt he
windowt aki ngev ery
t hi
ngi n.Ithadbeen8y ears
si
nceIl eftmyhomecount ryafterwhat
happened.Iwentt of i
nishmyhi ghschool in
Seattle,thankst omyf ather'
sconnect ions.
Aftergr aduat inghighschool ,Ifi
nallyconv inced
myf athert oletmest udyf ashiondesi gnerand
becauseofwhathappenedt ome, itwasnthar d
atall.IleftforPar is,aftercompl eti
ngmy
course, Iwor kedattheebi ggestbout iquei n
Pariswher eIgai nedmyexper ienceand
knowl edge.Af teray earandahal f,Ishowedmy
designst omybossandshebackedmeupby
i
nv estinginmybout ique.Itwasi nfashi on
school wher eImetmyt wobestf ri
ends, Nikolaj
andDel uka.Weobv i
ousl ywor kedindi ff
erent
placesaf terschool butwhenIdeci dedt oopen
upChaot ic,Del ukaandNi kolajcamewi t
hme,
bothf abul ousdesi gner sandwi t
hthem, we
openedupChaot i
cPar is,Chaot i
cMi lan, Chaot i
c
NewYor kandChaot i
cLA. .
..y
esIhaveachai n
ofstoresallov erthewor l
d.Mydadmov edto
thestatesaf ewy ear
saf t
erIlef
t,hemet
someone, felli
nl oveandt heygotmar r
ied,I
l
ov eherandIt hi
nkshesper f
ectformyf ather.
Aftermydadgotmar r
ied,theboysandI
decidedbai twast i
met oopenupChaot icSA,
soaf t
ercreatingabuzz ,i
twast i
met ocome
homeandmaket hingshappen : )

Wear riv
edatt hehouse, t
hegat eopenedand
weal l
smi ledwi t
hsat i
sfaction.Theout sideof
thehousewasappeasi ngandgav ehopet hatit
wasev enmor eper fectinside.Wegotoutoft he
carwithourbagsandwal kedi n.Ooohhht he
housewasj ustper fect !Thei nteriordesign,the
highwal l
s,thegr ani tefini
shi ng..
.aaahhhIl oved
everyt
hingabouti t!!Thel oungewasbi gwi tha
l
ar gefl
atscr eent vmount edont hewall,the
backy ardremi ndedmeoft heonewehadback
homei nP. E,Ismi led 
Ni
kol
aj"
youhappy
?"
Me"
soexci
ted"
Del
uka"
let
sgocheckoutt
hebedr
ooms!
"
Nikolaj"
youmeanourbedr oom? "Deluka
giggledli
keschoolgi
rlwhenNikosai dthat,
I
smi l
edandshookmyhead.Yest heyar egay
andwer edati
ng,soinlovesomet imesIgot
reall
yjeal
ousofthem butmostlyIwashappy .
Nam Ihadhadmyf ai
rshareofrelati
onships
buttheydidntworkoutkodwahav i
ngLukaand
Nikoi nmyli
feshowedmet hat
,trueloveisout
theresomewher ef
ormet oo :)

Me" okaylet
sgo!"Wewentupst ai
rsandthe
roomswer eensuite,t
hemast erbedroom was
j
ustper f
ectandtheboy ssaidIcouldhaveit
,
thei
rroom wasgr eattoo..
.i
nfactevery
thi
ng
aboutthehousewasj ustperf
ect
Wer et
reatedi
ntoourroomsandunpacked,
ther
ewer esomanyboxest hatwehadsent
overbefor
ewemov ed,t
her
ewassomucht odo!

Afterunpacki
ngsomestuf
f,Iwast
ir
edsoI
wentdownst ai
rsandt
heguyswereal
readyi
n
thekitchen
Me"
sowhat
sfordi
nner
?"
Luka"
Iwasthinki
ngwegoout
,Iam cr
avi
ng
someseafood"
Ni
ko"yeahIwouldl
ovet
ohav
eat
ast
eofmy
f
ir
stSouthAfr
icanf
ood"
Me"CapeTownf
ishmar
keti
tist
hen,
we'
l
ltake
mycar"
Luka"you'
rej
ustdy
ingt
odr
ivet
hatcarar
ent
you?"
Me"
wel
lIdi
dbuyi
tforar
eason 
:)
 "
Ni
ko"
let
sgo"weal
lgotupandIwentt
ofi
nd
t
hecarkey
stomybr
andnewmodel
Jeep.

Idr
oveust
oV&Awat
erf
rontsay
oty
a
Luka"sonowthaty
ou'
rebackher
ehowdoesi
t
feel
?"Isi
ghed
Me"ali
tt
lenostal
gic,
Itsbeen8yearssi
nceIlef
t.
Ir
ememberP. Eandeverythi
ng.
..
Idi
dmi sst
he
l
if
eIhadthere,Fr
eddy,aunti
eMaggs..
..
..
"
Ni
ko"
Zer
o?"Ishookmyhead
Me" no,i
ttookmeav erylongtimetothi
nk
abouthim andnotcr
y .Thepainandanguishhe
putmet hroughwasintenseandpainf
ul.NowI
barel
ythinkabouthi
m"
Luka"doyouthi
nkt
hatnowt
haty
ou'
reher
eyou
mightseehi
m? "
Me" wel
lwhatarethechances?Imeanhe
al
way ssaidhewantedtobeinJoburg,school
andwork,eveni
fhewer ehere,whatar
et he
chancesthatwewouldrunintoeachother?
CapeTowni
sabi
gci
ty"
Ni
ko"andify
oudi
druni
ntohi
m?Wi
l
lyouev
er
f
orgi
vehim?"
Me"Ialreadydid,t
of ul
l
ymov eonwi t
hmyl if
eI
hadtopullmy sel
foutofthedarknessofpain,
hur
t,anger,hate,
resentmentandbecomet he
per
sonIusedt obe"
Del
uka"well
y oudef
ini
tel
yare,you'
ret
he
sweet
estpersonIhaveeverknown"
Me"8year
soff
ri
endshi
p,Iwoul
dbesur
pri
sedi
f
Iwasnt
 :
) 
"
Ni
ko"
sti
l
lful
lofour
sel
vesmuch?
"Il
aughed
Me"well.
..
..
 ^_^
 "
theyl
aughedt ooandwe
cont
inuedeati
ng.Uqgi
bakwet huwewenthome
anddecidedtogetagoodnight'
srest,
wehad
somehect i
cweeksaheadofus : )

Il
aidi
nmybedt hatni
ghtjustt
hinki
ngabout
ev
eryt
hing.Ihadbeencrushedwhent heone
per sonItrustedi nmyl ifebet r
ay edmeand
brokemyhear tint oa100pi eces.Iwascr azy
abouthi m butheusedmyf eelingsagai nstme
forhi sownper sonal r
easons, heusedmeand
shamedme.Icr iedsomuchkwaphel auny aka,
i
twasntev ent hev ideobei ngspr eadal lov erthe
i
nt ernetthatmademenotwantt ogoback, I
coul dntfaceZusi pheev eragai n.Ithur tso
much, myhear tachedsobad, Icoul dntev en
fathom seei nghi sf aceev eragai n.Ittooka
whi letorebui l
dmy selfbutwhenImov edto
Par is,i
tbecamesomucheasi ert ofindmy self
andwhenDel ukaandNi kolaj camei ntomyl i
fe,
theyi nj
ectedawhol enewpur posei nmyl i
f e
andIwasabl et obecomet hebestv ersionof
my self.Theybr oughtmeoutofmyshel l,I
becamemor econf ident, Iev enchangedmy
l
ookandst oppedwear ingbaggyunf l
atteri
ng
clothes,Idr essedf ormysuccessandl i
ket he
owneroft hebi ggestbout i
quest or escr oss
count ry.
Anywaythenextoncomi
ngdayswerehect
ic,
openi
ngupthebouti
queandpl
anni
ngour
l
aunch.

Fi
nall
yaftertwoweeksofhar dwor k, Chaot
ic
SAwasf i
nallyopenedandt hebout iquewas
swarmingwi t
hpeople.Wemi ngledand
net
worked, makingnewconnect ionsandsel li
ng
ournewitems.Peopl ewerelovingev er
ythi
ng
andIwasf eeli
ngallgiddyi
nside.Af terthe
l
aunch,west ayedlat
eandcl eanedupt heshop
Del
uka"t
hatwasahugesuccess!Iam sopr
oud
ofy
ou!!
"
Me"
thanksLuka!
!Aaahhht
hishasbeengr
eat
!"
Ni
ko"
weshoul
dcel
ebr
ate"
Me"
bydoi
ngwhat
?"
Ni
ko"
dri
nki
ng 
:)
 "
Me"
mor
ethant
oday
?"
Luka"wecangohome,
openupabot
tl
eofwi
ne
andtal
kboys"
Me"ught
alki
ngaboutwit
hyout
woi
snof
un 
:
-
/ 
youhav
eeachother"
Luka"yousaidityour
selfbabe,t
herei
splent
y
ofpossibi
l
iti
es!Youwill
pr obabl
yfi
ndyourMr
Right
..
..
"
Me"wel
l t
hewinepartsoundsgood,
theMr
Ri
ghtt
hingthough?Eehhhnotsomuch :
-/
 "
Ni
ko"
welll
etsgetacl
eani
ngcompanyher
e
t
ommorr
owandgohomer i
ghtnow"
Luka"
soundsgr
eat
"
Me" wor
ksf
orme"wedr oppedever
ythi
ngand
pi
ckedupourst
uffsahambasabuyel
aatthe
house

_
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
Zer
o..
..
..
..

8y
ear
sand3mont
hsl
ater

Itr
ansferredfrom mypostinJoburgandIwas
senttoCapeTown, i
twassuchar eli
efbecause
Ihadbeenwant i
ngtomov etoCapeTownf or
thelongesttimeeversi
ncemygi rl
fr
iendmov ed
hereforherwor k3monthsago.Honest l
ythe
l
ongdi stancethi
ngwassuchaki ll
erormay beit
wasbecausewewer esousedt obeingcloseto
eachot herthatwecoul
dntfuncti
onwhenapar t

Iwasdefi
nit
elynotthesamemanIusedt obe,I
hadalotofgrowingupt odof r
om whenIwas
i
nhighschool.Ihadtolearnthatbeingpopul
ar
andfi
tt
ingini
snotwhat simpor tanti
nli
fe,
bei
ngthebestpersonthaty oucanbe, i
sthe
mosti mpor t
antt hingi nlife.Iknowt hatIwasa
compl et
easshol ebecauseofwhathappened
withLenabutkei twasabl essi ngindi sguiseI
supposeev ent houghInev erwant edt ohur ther
l
ikethat.Thepoi ntis, Ineverl ov edherorf elt
thatwayabouther ,theonl yt imeIf el tattr
acted
toherwasi farewel l yethuwhenshewas
compl et
elydol ledupandsext henl ike
Cinderel
la,afterthef ar ewel lshet ur nedback
i
ntot heashy ,bland, bor i
ngpumpki n.Iknowi ts
harshbutitst rue,itwasnev ergoi ngt owor k
anyway ,
shewasntmyt y
peofgi rl
.Any wayI
thoughtaboutherf orawhi lebutt henIt hrew
herintothebackofmyheadandcar riedon
withmyl if
ef orgettingabouther

Iwasstil
lnewinCptsoIwasl i
vingwithmy
gi
rl
fri
end,wehadbeendat i
ngfor1yearanda
hal
f,t
helongestrel
ati
onshi
pIhav eeverhad.I
l
ovedherbutIalwaysfelgl
ikesomethingwas
missi
ng,li
keourrel
ati
onshi
pwasnotcompl et
e
butIdidntdwel
lonthat
,Ij
ustf
ocusedonthe
factt
hatIloveherandwehadagoodthi
ng.

Wor kinCptwasgreat ,Iwasenjoyi

ngmyj ob,
beingalawyerissomet hingIalwayswant ed.
Mypar ent
swer esti
l
l i
nP. Eandmybr ot
her s
nabower esti
l
lcool,outoft heguysthatIwas
fr
iendswithatschool,ZuxandIbecamecl oser
,
andr emai
nedbestfriend.Hel i
vedin
Plett
enburgbayyena, njemnandiseKapa.I t
wasanewpagei nmyl if
ethatIwasexcited
about

Ontheweekend, Kwezi wantedtogoshoppi ng

becauseherbosswashost i
ngal aunchforhis
newj ewelr
yli
ne..
..
damnIshoul dhav egoneinto
thejewell
erybusi
ness,herbosswasst i
nki
nr i
ch
butany waywewal kedaroundtheci t
y,
shoppingaroundandalsodoi ngcouplethi
ngs.
Suddenlyshestoppedinf r
ontofy etanot
her
bout
ique
Kwezi"oohhhIlovet
hispl
ace,its
promi
sing :)
 l
etsgoin!
"Ilookedupandt he
nameoft hebouti
quewasChaot ic..
.sheli
nked
herar
m wi t
hmineandpulledmei nside
[
12/
02,
08:
50]Ron:
MyWor
stMi
stake

I
nser
tTen

Lena.
..
..
.

Iwaslef tbymy selfatt

hest orebecauseDeluka
andNi kolajwereoutont heirl
unchbreak.I
thad
beenoneheckofabusydaybutwhoam It o
complai n?Busymeansbusi nessmosandI
wouldr atherbeonmyheel sthewholedaythan
sitanddonot hing.Ever
ythingwasgoi ngsowell
forme, Ihadr ecentl
ysi
gnedacont r
actwit
ha
topnot chjewelleri
nthecount r
y,hewantedme
toproduceaclothingl
inethatwouldgoalong
wit
hhi sjewel
ryli
ne.Icoul
dntsaynot oJace
Del
awar e,doi
ngbusinesswithhim woul
dr eall
y
hel
pmet apint
otheSout hAfri
canwidermar ket
.

Any waylikeIsai d,Iwasal oneandi twasfi

nall
y
quietintheshopandIcoul dchannelmy
thoughtsi ntobrainstormingnewi deasforthe
l
ineandf ashi onweeki nNewYor kwascomi ng
up.Peopl ewal kedi nt
ot heshopandIl ookedup,
Iimmedi atelydroppedt hepeni nmyhand, my
heartjol
tedupt omyt hroatandmyey es
widenedwi thshock.Ibl i
nkedsomanyt imes
becauseIt houghtmybr ainwaspl ayi
ngtri
cks
onme
Woman" hel
lo"shewassmili
ngbutIcould
barel
ynoti
ceher,myeyeswerefixedont he
manbesideherandhewasst ari
ngatmet oo.
Hehadchanged, hehadgr
ownup, wi
thani cel
y
groomedbeard,hewasdefi
nit
elytall
erand
muscular
,wi t
ht hebodyofsomeonewhoknow
banaumny angowegy m undawoni
.Swall
owed
hardandblinkedagain"hell
l
oooo?"It
ri
edto
shi
ftmyattentionandlookather
Me"
yes?
"Ir
epl
i
edi
nasmal
lvoi
ce
Her"
Ineedadr
ess,
cany
ouhel
pme?
"Ismi
l
ed
Me" ofcour
se"Isteppedawayfr
om behi
ndthe
counterandwalkedtowardsher
.Zusi
phestood
thereli
kehehadbeenshockedbysomeki ndof
electr
icwave
Me"
what
stheoccassi
on?
"
Her"i
tsprobabl ycrazycausethef uncti
onisli
ke
twoweeksawaybutIneedt ofindsomet hi
ng
now.It
smor eofal aunchparty,
whatdopeopl e
weretothose? "ItookajabatZusi pheandhe
wasstil
li
nt hesamespotsoIst eeredhislady
companiont owardsourl at
estcollecti
on

Me"
uhwel
li
tsusual
l
yeasyt
ojustgowi
tha
si
mpl
ecockt
ail
dress"
Her"
real
l
y?That
swhatIwast
hinki
ngt
oo"
Me"gr
eat,Uhyoucanpi
ckoutafewdr
esses
andt
rythem ont
oseewhichoneyoul
i
kebest"
Her"okay
..
.uhbabe?"Hej
olt
edoutofhi
sst
upi
d
dazeandlookedather
Z"
yes?
"
Her"
arey
ouj
ustgoi
ngt
ost
andt
her
e?Si
t
down"
Z"ri
ght!"Hesmi l
edfaintl
ythenwentt ositdown.
Hisgir
lfri
enddisappearedint
ot hedressi
ng
room,leavingZandIal one.I
tfeltsoweirdand
str
anget obeseeinghim, tobeint hesame
room withhim aft
ersomanyy ears.Hestood
upagainandwal kedtowar dsme
Z"
Lena?
"Il
ookedathi
m
Me"
yes?
"
Z"
ohmyGodi
tsr
eal
l
yyou"Il
aughed
Me"whodi
dy outhinki
tis?Mydoppl
eganger
"
het
ookastepcloserandItookast
epback
Z"
thi
sissowei
rd,
Inev
ert
hought
..
..
."
Me"you'
dseemeagai
n?Wel
lher
eIam,
ali
ve
andgood"
Z"Iseethat
,Ithoughty
ouleft
..
..
theysai
dyou
wereinSeat
tleandnevercomingback"
Me"
they
?Whot
hehel
li
sthey
?"
Z"
aunt
ieMaggs"
Me"right
..
..
wel
lIcameback,
toopena
bout
ique..
."
Z"
justl
i
key
oual
way
swant
ed"
Me"yeah"hedi
dntrepl
ybutjustst
aredatme
l
ikeubonasomekindofal
ien.

Del
uka"heybabe!I'
m back"hecameandki
ssed
meonthechick,whichissomethi
ngt
hey
al
waysdonoNikolaj
Me"
howwasl
unch?Br
ingmeany
thi
ng?
"
Deluka"y
oudontt
hinkI
'
df i
l
lupbymysel
fand
notbri
ngmyangelsomethi
ngnowdoyou?"I
l
aughed
Me"ofcour
senot"hegavemet hepaperbag
andt
hecontent
ssmelledgoood!!
Deluka"
who'
sthi
s?"Heasked,
eyei
ngZusi
phe
l
ikehewasapieceofmeat
Z"
OhIam.
..
..
"
Me"acust
omer!!
"Iquickl
yint
err
upt
edhi
m"hi
s
gi
rl
fr
iendi
sint
hef i
tt
ingrooms"
Del
uka"
ohcool
,wher
ear
eyourkey
s?"
Me"
att
hebackwhy
?"
Del
uka"Ineedt
odr
ivebackhome,If
orgot
t
hosedesignsy
out
oldmet obr
ing"
Me"okay,uhit
sokayifyoudontcomeback,I
needyoufocusedfort
onight.Pl
easeget
ever
ythi
ngreadyandIwillseeyouathome"
Deluka"y
ousur
ebabe?Howwi
l
lyoucome
back?"
Me"
I'
ll
bef
ine.I
'
m abi
ggi
rl
"hesmi
l
ed
Deluka"
ofcoursey
ouar e"hekissedmeont he
cheekagai
nthendisappearedtotheback,
l
eav i
ngmeandZusi phealoneonceagain.
..
li
ke
wtfwastaki
nghisgfsol ong? 
-_-

Z"congratul
ati
onsonthest
ore,
I'
m happyy
ou
f
inal
lyfoll
owedy ourdr
eam"
 
Me" t
hanks"Iwalkedov
ert
othefi
tt
ingr
ooms
tocheckifever
ythi
ngwasst
il
lgoi
ngokaywi
th
hisl
adyperson
Me"
ever
ythi
ngokayi
nther
e?"
Her"y
outell
me!"Shewalkedoutlooking
beaut
if
uli
nablacklacecockt
aildress.Herf
ace
wasbeamingandIcouldtel
lshelovedit
Me"
youl
ookamazi
ng!Thatdr
esswasmade
f
ory
ou!
"
Her"
your
eal
l
ythi
nkso?
"
Me"
yeahofcour
se"
Her"
babewhatdoyout
hink?Shoul
dIgeti
t?"I
l
ookedatZandhewassmili
ng
Z"youl
ookamazi
ngbaby,
soamazi
ngt
hatIwi
l
l
ev
enbuythedr
essfory
ou"
Her"real
ly?!OMWor d!!You'
rethebest!
"Sher an
tohim andt hrewherarmsar oundhi
m, Iroll
ed
myey eswithi rr
it
ati
on,dontaskmewhy  
- _- 
.I
wentbackt ot hecounterwhereZhandedme
hiscredi
tcar d,Iswi
peditandcompl et
edt he
purchasethent hehappycouplelef
t,handi n
hand

Isatdownandtookadeepbr
eath.If
eltl
i
kethe
univ
ersehadj
ustsl
appedmeintheface,how
couldIhav
eseenuZusi
pheagai
ninthatway? 
Del
uka"
arey
ouokaybabygi
rl
?"Il
ookedupat
hi
m
Me"
yeahI
mfi
ne"
Del
uka"
whowast hatguy
?Icoul
dseet
haty
ou
wer
ever
ytense"
Me"
itwasZusi
phe"hegapedatme
Del
uka"
what?
!Theasshol
eZusi
phe?
"Inodded
"
ohmyGod!!Whatar
etheodds!
!!
"
Me"speakingaboutodds,
whatt
hefuckishe
doi
nginCpt ?Hesaidhewant
edJoburg.
..
thi
s
i
sntJoburg!!
"
Deluka"
wel
l babe,
awisepersononcesai
d,i
f
yourpat
hscrossoncetheywil
lcr
ossagai
n"I
rol
ledmyeyes
Me"ughwhatadumbthi
ngtosay!Idontwant
mypatht
ocrosswit
hekaZusi
phe!"
Del
uka"
may
bet
hisi
sagoodt
hingLena"
Me" how?!Howcoul
dseei
ngtheboywhodrov
e
meawayf rom myhomepossi
blybeagood
t
hing?!"
Del
uka"nowy oucanful
l
ycompl etetheheal
i
ng
pr
ocess,youcantal
ktohim and..
..
."
Me" t
alk?Ohhellno!Therewil
lbenot al
ki
ng!
Anddonttalkaboutthatfat
eanddest i
nycrap
ofyoursandNiko,thi
sisnotfatebecauseCpt
i
sabi gcit
y..
.whataretheoddsIwill
seehim
agai
n?"
Del
uka"well
sinceyoualr
eadysawhim af
ter
yousai
dthatbefor
e,Isay100to1"
Me"youknowwhat?Icanli
vewitht
hat
..
.Il
i
ke
t
hoseodds!100t
o1...
Ili
kei
t"Isai
dwit
hasmile
Del
uka"aaahhhwhatadel
usi
onal
wench!
"I
l
aughed
Me"justgohome,wehaveal
ott
odoont
he
Del
awar ecl
othi
ngl
ine"
Deluka"okaybutjustsoyouknow,thi
s
conversat
ionisnotover"Isi
ghedfeel
i
ng
annoyed,knowingLukahewasgoi ngtot
ell
Nikoaboutthi
sandwewoul dspendtheni
ght
t
alki
ngaboutZusi
phei
nsteadofworki
ng.You
j
ustgot
talovemabest
ies 
: D 
-_-

_
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___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___

Zer
o..
..
..
.

Thedaywentbyi naf l
ash, Icouldbar ely
rememberwhatIdi dbecauseev ersince
ndiboneuLena, Icouldntst opthinkingabout
her.Shewassodi fferent,i
nagoodwayphof u
i
nt hebestkindofway .Shelookedsor adi
ant
,
glowingandconf i
dentIal mostdi dnot
recogniseher.Shehadcutherl ongf r
izzyhair
i
nt oat hi
ck,
edgysl ickbob.Shewor eashor t
blackjumpsuitthatshowedofherl ongshapel y
l
egsal ongwi t
ht hoser edfuckmeheel swomen
usuallywear.Shewashott imest en..
.thelast
ti
meIhadseenLenal ookl i
kethatwasour
f
arewel
landIdi
dnotr
eal
l
ywantt
othi
nkabout
t
hat

Kwezi
"baby,ar
eyouokay
?"Shepul
l
edmeout
ofmythoughts
Me"
yeahI
mfi
ne,
whydoy
ouask?
"
Kwezi"youhavebeenacti
ngwei
rdsi
ncewel
eft
thatst
ore,doy
ouknowt hatwoman?
"
Me"
whatwoman?
"
Kwezi "
theoneatChaot
ic?Shewasvery
shockedwhenwecamei nandherey
eswoul
d
notleaveyoupl
usyouwentr i
gidt
oo"
Me"uhnah.
..
shej
ustr
emi
ndedmeofsomeone"
shesmi
led
Kwezi"bet
ternotbeoneofyourexesbecause
thenIwil
lnevergobackt
othatshopandt hat
wouldbeashamecosIr eal
l
yl i
kethei
rclot
hes
andshewassoni cetome"Ichuckled
Me"nobaby,sheuh.
..
sheusedt
obeaf
ri
end.
Youknow.
..
apassingphase"
Kwezi
"ohokay
!Whatdoy
ouwantf
ordi
nner
?"
Me"
any
thi
ngbaby
,youknowIearany
thi
ng"
Kwezi"I
'
llmakey
ourfav
ori
tet
hem :)
 "she
bentdownandki
ssedmethenwentt
ot he
ki
tchen

Ilaidonmybackont hecouchandcl osedmy

eyes, al
lIcouldseewasLenaandshedi dnt
l
ookany thi
nglikeHighSchool ,
shewasa
woman.Abeaut i
ful,sexy,confi
dentwomanand
Ijustcouldntbeli
ev eshewasi nfrontofme
afterallt
hosey ears.Ifel
tat wistinmyhear t
thet i
mendi mbonaandmyey esmov edto
wher eevershewal ked,everythi
ngabouther
exudedel egance,Lenaal way shadt hataura
aboutherbutnowshehadl etitspil
l outtoher
outsideimageandi tdrovemecr azy!
Thef ollowi ngdayIwokeupwi t
hLenaLena
Lenast il
l ri
ngingi nmyhead.Ipr eparedf orwor k
andsai dgoodby et omygi r
lfri
endndahamba.I
arri
vedatt heofficeandwhi l
eIwaswor king,
someoneel sepoppedi ntomi nd,theguyatt he
store.Whatdi dshecal l hi
m agai n.
..
uh..
..Del uka?
Whot hef uckwast hat?Hehadj ustroll
edi nto
thestor e, call
edherbabet henkissedher ,she
alsotal kedaboutseei nghi m athome. .
.wasi t
herboy friend?Fiancë?Di dtheylivetoget her?
Whendi dt heymeet ?Howl onghav etheybeen
dati
ngf or ? :O : O whati fLenawasmar ri
ed
withki ds? !Thet houghtal onehadmehy per
ventil
at ingl i
kecr azy,why ?Ihav enoidea. ..
.just
thethoughtofLenabei ngwi thsomeot herguy
didnotappeasemewhi chwaswei r
dbecause
upunt il thatday, Iwassoconv i
ncedt hatshe
wasat hingoft hepast .
Aft
erluncht
ime,Ifel
tli
keIwasgoingcr
azysoI
cal
ledZuxandtoldhi
m whathappened
Zux"wait
!!You'
resayi
ngtomet haty
ousaw
Lena?TheLenay ouoncedatedinhi
ghschool
andthendroveawayfrom t
hecountry
?"
Me"
musty
our
eal
l
yputi
tli
ket
hat
?"
Zux"
sor
ryman!Sowhatdi
dyousay
?"
Me"
notmuch,
Iwasal
i
ttl
emesmer
ised"
Zux"
mesmer
ised?I
sshet
hathot
?"
Me"hoti
sanunderst
atementmyf
ri
end.Lenai
s
awomanokay?All
l
lll
woman!"
Zux"wow!Icantbel
i
evei
t,sowhatdi
dshe
say?
"
Me"shewassocalm,itwasl
i
kemypr
esence
di
dnotaff
ectheratal
l
"
Zux"
may
bei
tdi
dnt
"
Me"
whynot
?Iam t
hef
ir
stboysheev
erl
oved"
Zux"
jaandy
ouar
eal
sot
hef
ir
stboywhoev
er
hur
therandmadeherl
eav
ethecount
ry.The
gi
rlhat
esyouman"
Me"
shepr
obabl
yst
il
ldoeshuh?
"
Zux"y
eahandwhocar
es?You'
rehappywi
th
Kweziri
ght
?"
Me"ofcour
seIam, i
tsj
ustt
hatLenaisahuge
bl
astf
rom apastIwant
edtofor
get"
Zux"thenkeepmov ingmybr
other
.Youwont
probablyseeheragain"
Me"
Isupposey
ou'
rer
ight
"
Zux"youbetyourassI
'mri
ght"hehungupandI
dwell
edonthethoughtt
hatIwouldprobabl
y
notseeheragain

_
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___

Lena.
..
..
..
TheDel
awareclot
hingl
i
newascomi ngupgreat
.
IwassofocusedonworkthatIdi
dnothave
ti
metothi
nkaboutZusi
phe,eventhoughfr
om
ti
metoti
mehepoppedi nt
omyhead.

Mostday sIwasf i
nebymy selfbutthenIwoul d
seeNi koandLukasoi nlov ethatIcoul dnthelp
butwantt hesamet hi
ngf ormy sel
f,goingt o
bedal oneandnothav i
ngany oneinmyl i
fe
mademef eelali
ttl
elonely.Ithadbeenawhi le
si
nceIdat edandnowt hattheshopwasf inall
y
stable,If
oundt hatIdidhav et i
mef ordat i
ng
andst uff
.AaahhhIj ustmi ssedt hejoyofital l
,
havingsomeonet otalkto, tocryto,tolaugh
withandj ustyouknow. ..
.holdy ouatnightand
ki
ssy ougoodnight.Imissedi tall 
: (

AnywaysoJaceDel
awareandIhadameeting
aweekbefor
ehisshowcasesoIcoul
dshow
hi
m whatwehadbeenwor ki
ngonevent
hough
every
thingwasal readybei ngmanuf acturedand
al
lthat.Wemetatani ceandcozycaf eaf ew
bl
ocksf rom theshop, whenIgott herehewas
al
readysi t
tedinthecor ner,coffeeinf r
ontof
hi
m andhi sphone.Hel ookedupandsawme,
hewav edatmewi thasmi leandIsmi l
edt oo,
damnt hemanwasdr opdeadgor geous!He
al
way slookedsost yli
shandel egant,wi t
hhis
bl
ondeboy i
shhairandi cybl ueeyes, t
hat
beauti
fulsmileandsl i
ghtlycr ookednose.The
manwasagodi nhi sownt erri
tor
y ,
hehada
badboydemeanorbutal sowheny oulookdeep
i
ntohisey es,youcoul dalsoseeat roubled
soul.
..
.somethingdar kanddanger ousabout
hi
mt hatmadehi m sexyashel l

Me" MrDel
awar
e!"Isai
d,shaki
nghi
shandasI
satdown
Jace"
MissSept
ember
"
Me"
pleasecal
lmeLena"
Jace"
andy
oucal
lmeJace"Ismi
l
ed
Me"
alr
ightJace,
shal
lwegetr
ightdownt
oit
?"
Jace"or
dersomethi
ng,any
thingyouwant
"the
wait
resswasalr
eadyatourtabl
e,smi
li
ngat
hi
ml i
keanidi
ot
Me"I'
l
lhaveanicetea"shedi
dntst
opst
ari
ngat
JaceandIchuckl
ed
Jace"
Icet
eapl
ease"
Her"
ofcour
se"t
henshet
urnedwahamba
Me"
shel
i
kesy
ou"
Jace"
ughonl
ybecauseI
'
m herboss"
Me"
boss?Youownt
hispl
ace?
"
Jace"
yeah,whydoyouthinkIinvi
tedy
ouher
e?
Idi
dntwanttopayf
orlunch!"Il
aughed
Me"
howcheap"hel
aughedt
oo
Jace"sowhathaveyougotforme? "It
ookout
thedesi
gnsandshowedhim, expl
aini
ng
ever
ythi
ngtohim aswetur
nedeachpage.
Jacewasimpressedandhappywi t
hallt
he
desi
gnswhichwasquiteareli
efbecauseit
wouldbesuchashamet ostartt
hewholething
over
Jace"areyousurey
ou'
renothungry"Iwas
abouttoshakemyheadbutmyst omach
betr
ayedme" l
etsor
dersomethi
ng,Iam qui
te
hungrytoo"
Me"areyousure?Idontwantt
okeepy
ou.Ican
j
ustgetatakeaway"
Jace" dontbesi l
ly,Iwoul dneverleaveapr ett
y
l
adysuchasy ourselftoeataloneorget
takeout s"Ismil
ed.Hecal l
edov erthewai t
ress
againandshet ookouror der
s.The
conv ersati
onstartedeasyandsl owwi thusjust
talki
ngaboutwor kt henwemov edont othe
placeswehadt r
avel edanditwassof unnythat
wehadact ual
l
ybeent oAmst erdam att he
samet imeatthesamef uncti
on.Wel aughed
aboutthatf
orawhi l
ethentheconversation
escal
atedtoourdreams,goalsandot herthi
ng,
wespokeal i
tt
leaboutourfamil
ies,especial
ly
yena.
..
hebarel
ysaidanythi
ngabouthi sfamily

Anywaybyt
heti
mewewer
edone"
eat
ing"t
he
ti
mewasalr
eady4
Me"ohmyGod!Wehav
ebeent
alki
ngf
or3
hour
s!!
"
Jace"wow!I tseemsshor t
erthough.Ihav
e
neverenj oyedtalki
ngtosomeonet hismuch
Lena,inf actyou'
rethefi
rstpersonIhavetal
ked
toli
ket his"Ismiledfeel
i
ngawar mfuzzy
feel
ingr ushthroughoutmybody
Me"
wel
lImf
lat
ter
ed,
Ireal
l
yhadagoodt
ime"
Jace"
sowoul
dyoubeopent
odoi
ngi
tagai
n"
Me"real
l
y ?
"It
ri
ednott
osoundt
ooshocked
andexci
ted
Jace"
yeahandIpr
omi
seIwi
l
ltakey
out
oa
r
est
uar
antIdontownandIwi
l
lpay
 :
) 
"
Me"
hahahaguessy
ou'
renotsocheapaf
teral
l
"
Jace"
hahat
heni
sthatay
es?
"
Me"
it
say
es"
Jace"
great
,letmewal
kyouout
"
Me" okay"heputhi
shandont hesmal
lofmy
backandst eer
edmeout,Iwasf ul
l
yawareof
thegapingstar
esIgotasheledmeoutside
Jace"
Iwi
l
lcal
lyou"
Me"
Ilookf
orwar
dtoy
ourcal
lMrDel
awar
e"
Jace" t
hanky ouf oral
ovelyl
unchmi ss
September "hekissedmycheckt henwandifaka
emot weniyam andIdr oveoff
..
..
.If
eltsogood,I
wasgi ddyinside.AdatewithJaceDelaware?
Uhyay !!
! 
: D 
: D

_
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
Zer
o..
..
..
..

I
twasthedayofKwezi '
sboss'showcasefor
hi
snewjewell
eryli
ne.Shebeggedmet oattend
wit
hherandIjustcoul
dntsaynowhenshe
gavemethosecuteadorabl
epuppyey es.

Wear ri
vedatJaceDel awar e'
smansionr i
ghtat
thetopoft hehil
lsinCapeTown' smostr i
chest
neighbourhood.Thepl acewashuge, Imean
youwoul dneedacarj usttogetf r
om thegat e
tothehouse.Ipar kedinf rontofthehouseand
therewasev enav alettotaket hecarandpar k
i
tsomewher esafe.Kwezi andIwalkedinside,
thehousewasnot hinglikeIhadev erseen
beforewellexceptont v.Inmyl if
eIhadnev er
thoughtIwoul dbeinoneoft hosetopbill
ing
houses,Iam notgoodwi t
hdescr i
pti
onsbuty ou
guysgetthepi ct
ure.Thewer emodel s
showcasingt henewj ewel l
ery,t
heywor e
beauti
fuly
ell
owspri
ngdressesandthatcol
or
wentgreatwit
hthei
rbl
i
ng.Awai t
ercameand
off
eredussomechampagne, Idi
dnothesit
ate
tograbaglass
Kwezi "
thi
slooksamazing!Thistur
nouti
seven
bettert
hanwhatIthought!Uuuhhhandthe
dressesaretodi
efor!Iwonderwhodesigned
them!"
Me"wowIshoul
dhavegoneint
ot hej
ewel
l
ery
maki
ngbusi
ness!Thi
sguyi
s..
..
.y
hoIhaveno
wor
ds!"
Kwezi
"babycomeon, letmeintroducey
out
o
mycoll
eagues"shegrabbedmyhandand
pul
l
edmef urtheri
nsi
det hehouse

Itwasaf terKwezihadrunoffwithherfr
iends
andIwasst andi
nginfrontofabeauti
ful
pr i
ncesscutdiamondr i
ng,Iwasstari
ngati t
becausei tcal
ledouttomebutt hepri
cewas
ridi
culous.Ihadlookedupandsawherf ixing
thedressofoneoft hemodel s.Shewor ea
yel
lowdr essherself
,itwasshor tand
accentuatedhercurves.Someoneway othetha
nayeandshet urnedwi thasmi le,l
ocki
ngey es
withme.Hersmi l
edf adedwhenshesawme
butthensheshi f
tedherey esfr
om meand
spoket othewomani nfrontofher,asmi l
e
for
medi nthecornersofhermout honceagain.
Kwezi camebackandsl ippedherarmi nsi
de
mine
Kwezi
"beaut
if
uli
snti
t?"
Me"
itr
eal
l
yisbabebuti
tssoexpensi
ve"
Kwezi"al
lthebestjewel
l
eryisbaby,i
tsoft
he
gr
eatestquali
ty,
itsa30caratr
ing"
Me"
real
l
y?Wow!
"
Kwezi
"it
sanengagementr
ing"Il
aughed
Me"ofcourseiti
s"Idippedmyheadandgav e
herapeckonthelips.Wemov edawayfr
om t
he
ri
ngandIgrabbedanot hergl
assofchampagne
aswest
eer
edt
hrought
hecr
owd

IsawLenaagai nasshesteppedout si
detot he
balcony,ever
ythinginmybodyscr eamedt hatI
fol
lowher ,
soImadesomeexcuset oKwezi
andwal kedoutside.Shewasstandingalone,
j
ustlookingattheocean, t
hewindbl owingin
herhairandhebeaut yradi
antinthemoonl ight
Me"ali
tt
lest
uff
yint
her
eisnti
t?"Shet
urnedt
o
l
ookatme
Lena"
Zusi
phe,
whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?"
Me"uhKweziwor
ksforDel
aware,
shewas
i
nvi
tedsoIcameasherpl
usone"
Lena"okay"thenwaphi
ndawaj
i
ka,
Iwentt
o
standnexttoher
Me"
whatabouty
ou?Ar
eyouher
easaguest
?"
Lena"
no,
Iam t
hedesi
gner
"Ismi
l
ed
Me"
ofcour
sey
ouar
e.Thedr
essesl
ook
amazi
ng,
ofcour
seDel
awar
ehi
redy
ou"
Lena"
thanks"shesai
d,wit
houtev
enl
ooki
ngat
me,myfeeli
ngsgothurt
Me"Lena.
..
."shetur
nedt
ofaceme,
herey
es
col
dandunf eel
i
ng
Lena"t
hepastal
way
sbel ongsi
nitspl
ace
Zusi
phe,t
her
eisnoreasontobri
ngitup"
Me" Zusi
phehuh?I
tfeel
ssoweirdtoheary
ou
cal
lmet hat
.Inf
actever
yonecal
lsmeZero,I
haventhear
dthenameZi n8years"
Lena"
what
?"
Me"Lena..
.Iknowthaty
ouprobabl
yhat
eme
buty
ouhav eto..
..
"shewav
edherperf
ectl
y
manicur
edhandatme
Lena"IdonthateyouZusiphe..
.hatingyou
wouldmeant hatyousti
llhaveapl aceinmy
headandy oudont.Ihav
eabsol utelynofeel
ing
towardsyoubecausethatsexactlywhaty ou
meant ome...
nothi
ng!Soy oucanf oll
owme
wher eeveryouwantbutf actremains,what
happenedi sinthepast,
Imov edon..
.y
oudont
havet oexplai
norapologizetome. .
.t
heonly
personwhomi ghthavewant edyourapologyi
s
18y earoldLenabutshedoesntexi stanymore,
so.
....
."
Del
uka"
Lens?
"Webot
htur
nedt
ofacet
hedoor
Lena"
ja?
"
Del
uka"
isev
ery
thi
ngokayher
ebabe?
"
Lena"
every
thingi
sfi
ne,
youneedmef
or
somet
hing?"
Del
uka"
yeah,
Jacei
slooki
ngf
ory
ou"
Lena"
Im coming"shewalkedovertotheguy
andheheldherwaistbangenangaphakat
hi

Ifel
tapangofpaininmyheart,maybeher eall
y
washerboyfri
endbecauseshewasntwear inga
ri
ng,If
igur
edbashewasntmar r
iedorengaged.
Thatwasar el
i
efbutthefactt
hatshehada
boy
fri
end,
hadmef
eel
i
ngsomet
ypeofwei
rd
way.
..
..
.
[
12/
02,
17:
13]Ron:
MyWor
stMi
stake

I
nser
tEl
even

Lena.
..
..

I
twasf inal
lyt
henightofmydat ewi
thJace,I
meant heeJaceDelaware.
..
.Iwassoexcit
edI
waslit
erall
yburst
ingattheseams,whatever
thatmeans :) 
butwhocares!Iwasgoingona
datewithJACEDELAWARE! !

Somyf r
iendswer ehelpi
ngmegetr eadyli
ke3
hour
sbef or
emydat e,wedidalitt
lefashi
on
showofmet r
yingonsomecl ot
hessoIcoul d
fi
ndtheperfectoutf
it
.Final
l
yIchoseacl eancut
whitedresswit
hanopenback, i
twasshor
tke
obviousl
ybecauseIl
ovedshowingoffmylegs.
Iwor emybluesti
l
let
os,str
aight
enedmyhair
andmymakeupwaskeptnat ur
alwhi
chDeluka
fi
nishedoffwi
thanudelipsti
ck.

Ni
ko"JaceDel
awar
ewi
l
lnotknowwhathi
t
hi
m!"
Luka"
babey
oul
ookgor
geous!Il
ovei
t!
"
Me"
your
eal
l
ythi
nksoguy
s?"
Niko"y
es!!It
salmostlikeGivenchymadet hat
dressf
ory ou!LookatthatassGi r
l!
!"Il
aughed
andturnedsidewaystothemi rr
orandt hey
wereri
ght,myassl ookedamaze!
Me" aaahhhIm soexci t
ed!"Weallscr
eamed
andjumpedupcl appingourhandshappil
y :)
 .
LukaandNi kower ejustangel
ssentfrom
above,Iknowt hatyoucanonlychoosey our
fr
iendsbutitfeltl
ikeGodhadper sonal
lyhand
pi
ckedt
hem outf
orme
Luka"
Jacecoul
dbey
ourguyLens"
Me"
yout
hinkso?
"
Luka"t
otall
y!Youguyswouldmakea
for
midablepowercoupl
e!"Il
aughed
Me"
powercoupl
ehuh?Il
i
ket
hat
"
Niko"ofcourseyoudo!You'
realr
eadythinki
ng
aboutthethemef ort
heweddinginthatbri
ll
i
ant
headofy our
sarentyou?"Il
ookedathim and
smiled
Me"winterweddi
ng!Wit
hici
cles,
snowf
lakes,
i
cesculptur
es,t
heworks!
"
Luka"hahahahat
hat
sthegi
rlwer
aised!
"I
l
aughed
Ni
ko"oohhitsal
most7ar eyouready?"Ipi
cked
upev
erythi
ngthatIwouldneedandshov edital
l
i
nmyclutchbackthenlookedatthem
Me"
ready
!" 
:D 
:D
Theboy swentdownst airstowaitforhim whi le
Isatonmybed, Iwassoner vous, t
heknot si n
myst omachwer ebecomi nglikehugegi ant
l
ocks.Iwasf eel i
ngangst yandsuddenl yIhad
all
thesequest ionsgoingt hr
oughmyhead,
whatifwedi dntcl i
ck,whatifwej ustsatther e
notknowingwhatt osaytoeachot her,whathe
wasntattract
edt ome?Whati fIwasnt
atr
ractedtohi m!!!Myinnergoddessst artedt o
panicandscr eam! !Wellshewasonl ypani cking
becauseshehasbeenawakenedf r
om av ery
l
onganddeepsl eep.Ifel
tapai ni
nmyl oins,
damni thadreal l
ybeenawhi l
esinceagi rl got
somet hi
nsomet hinyouknowwhatImean  ;)

Nikocamebackt omyr oom toannouncethat

hewasdownstairs.Ist
oodupandt ookadeep
breatht
henwalkedoutwi t
hhim.Jacestoodat
thefootoft
hestair
sinast yl
i
shelegantbl
ack
tux,apalebl ueshirtt
hatbroughtouthis
stri
kingl
ybl ueey esbutther
ewasnot i
e,he
l
ookedf ormal butcasual aswell
.Hisfacebroke
i
nt oasmi lewhenhesawmeandIcoul dnthel
p
butreturnit.Ireachedtheendofthest ai
rsand
hehel dhishandoutt ome, It
ookitandhe
kissedmi ne
Jace"
youl
ookbr
eat
htaki
ngl
yst
unni
ngLena"
Me"
thanky
ou,
sodoy
ou"
Luka"
okay
!Youguy
shav
efun"
Niko"t
akecareofourbabyJace,nowyoumay
beJaceDelawarebutwearethepowerduoso
youbett
ertakecar
eofherorelse!"Webot
h
chuckl
ed
Jace"
shesi
ngoodhands.
..
myl
ady
?Shal
lwe?
"
Me"Ibeli
eveweshall
 :
) "heledmeout side
andablackBentl
eySUVwaspar kedoutside.A
manwasst andi
ngnextt
oi t
,heopenedthe
doorf
orusandJacewaitedf ormetogeti n
t
henf
oll
owedaf
terme.

Thedr ivertookust oabeautif

uli
sol
ated
restaurantjustoutsideCapeTown,itwasa
l
ongr idebutdef ini
telywort
hitwhenwewer e
usheredi nsidebyawai ter
.Heshowedupt oa
quiettableatt hebackoftherest
uarantwi
th
diml i
ght i
ng.Wesatdownandhegav eusour
menus
Jace"pleasegetusabot
tl
eofy
ourbest
Carbonet"
Wai
ter"
yessi
r"
Me"
Ihav
enev
erhear
doft
hispl
acebef
ore"
Jace" Iusuallycomeher ewhenIwantt o
discussbusi nessinaqui etcalm envir
onmemt.
Theirfoodissogr eat,Icangetany onetoagr
ee
toany thi
ngbecauset heyar esohappyand
carefr
eeaf tereati
ngher e"Ilaughed
Me"
soi
sthatwhyy
oubr
oughtmeher
e?Soy
ou
canwi
neanddi
nemet henIgi
vei
ntoany
thi
ng
youwant
?"Hel
aughedtoo
Jace"youseer i
ghtthroughme :) "thewaiter
camebackwi t
hthewi neandhepour editforus
thenlef
titonthetable"toabeauti
fulnightwith
abeautif
ullady"hesaidandhelif
teduphi s
glass
Me" I
'l
ldri
nktothat"Ili
ft
edmineupandwe
cli
nkedthem, It
ookasi pofmineandIcoul
dnt
helpbutclosemyey esasthesweetsmoky
tast
eofthewi neroll
eddownmyt ongue
Me"
wowt
hisi
samazi
ng!
"
Jace"
iti
sthei
rbest
"
Me"Iseet
hatnow"thewai
tercamebackf
or
ourf
oodorder
s,Jaceor
der
edf orme
Jace"
Ihopey
oudontmi
nd"
Me"no,
Imeanyouknowt
hispl
acesoy
oumust
knowwhat
sgood 
:) 
"
Jace"wel
lIam f
lat
ter
edt
haty
out
rustmewi
th
y
ourf
ood"
Me"andthatisthebi
ggestki
ndoftrust!
Nobodymesseswi t
hmeandmyf ood!"He
l
aughedkakhuluanditwarmedmyhear t,
the
dat
ewasgoi ngwellmostl
ybecausehethought
Iwasfunny 
: D

JaceandIt alkedov erourmeal about

everyt
hing,wellheaskedmeal otofquest i
ons
andIdidnotmi ndanswer inganyoft hem.He
answeredmyquest ionst oobutIf eelthatev er
y
wor dwascal culatedandhewasntbei ngf ree
whenIpr obedabouthi sf amilyandst uffbuthis
facewoul djustlightupev er
ytimewespoke
abouthiswor k.Jewel l
erywasntt heonl ything
hewasi nto,hewasal soi ntodev el
opingnew
technol
ogyt hati secof riendlybutt hat
companywasi nt heUSAandnotourcount ry,
thecharit
iesthathesuppor t
ed,most lyabout
sexualabuse, disadv antagedki dsand
everyt
hingel seinvolv
ingchildr
en.Inthosef ew
hoursIl earnedt hatJacewasasmar t,
dri
ven,
hardwor ki
ng, determined,passi
onate,
aff
ectionat emanwhohadasof tspotf or
chil
dren.Icoul dseei nhi seyesthattheone
thi
nghehat edmostaboutourwor l
dischildrem
beingmi st
reatedandt hatmademewonderba
l
ont oivelaphi  
: -/

Aft
er4hour
sofgett
inglostinJaceDel
aware'
s
worl
dandcompany,thedatewasoverandhis
carpul
l
edupinf
rontofmyhouse
Jace"thanky
ouf
oral
ovel
yti
meLena,
Ienj
oyed
my sel
f"
Me"Ishoul
dbet
hanki
ngy
ouJace,
toni
ghtwas
wonderf
ul"
Jace"soar
eyousay
ingt
haty
ouar
eopent
oa
seconddat
e?"
Me"
def
ini
tel
y"
Jace"
okaybutthi
sti
mey
ouwi
l
lchoosewhat
youwantustodo"
Me" r
eal
ly
?Andy
out
rustmewi
tht
hat
?"He
chuckl
ed
Jace"
shoul
dntI
?"
Me"
doy
ou?
"
Jace"wel
lj
ustli
keyoutrust
edmewithyour
food,
Iwil
ltr
ustyouwit
hourseconddat
e :) 
"
Me" y
ou'
reabr av eman..
.Ili
kethat"webot h
l
aughedthent hatawkwar dshouldweki ss
momentlurkedi nthecar,hemov edcl oserandI
di
dnt.Heti
ltedhisheadandmyey escl osed
fi
rst
,myli
pspar tedandinasecond, Jace
pl
acedhissoftlipsonmi neandweki ssed.

Ifel
tall
thebloodrusht
ooneplace,myi nner
goddessbeamedatmebutJacedi dntmake
anymov eexceptf
orhol
dingmywai stand
ki
ssingme.Hef i
nall
ybr
okeitandleftme
br
eat
hless
Jace"youmayopent hedoorOl
i
v er
"hisdr
iver
steppedoutoft
hecarandcamet oopenour
door.Ist
eppedoutandJacewalkedmet othe
door"seeyounextt
imeLenaS"Ismi l
ed
Me"y
out ooJaceD"hekissedmeonemor
e
t
imethentol
dmet ogoinside

AssoonasIst
eppedi
nsi
dethehouse,
Nikoand
Lukapul
l
edmet ot
hel
oungeandsatmedown
Luka"tel
lusever
ythi
ng!
!"Il
aughedt
henbegan
tel
l
ingthem ev
eryt
hingaboutmywonder
ful
date!
!

_
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___

Zer
o..
..
..
.
Ithadbeenqui t
eacoupl eofdaysbutLena's
wordskeptr epeati
ngi nmyhead.Shesai dthat
shedidntneedmyapol ogyandthattheperson
whomayhav ewantedi twas18y earoldLena
andwel lshewasntt hereany more.WhatIdid
wast err
ibl
eandev ent houghIhadmanagedt o
supressmyf eeli
ngsofr egr
et,whenIsawLena
againtheyjustresurfacedandIwasf indi
ngit
sohar dtodealwi t
hthem.

IwenttoworkonMonday ,Iwasworki
ngona
casewithmycolleague,hernameDaniel
lebut
weallcall
edherDanny .Shedidmostofthe
heavyli
ft
ingbecauseIwasonaut opil
ot,
thi
nki
ngaboutthepai nIcausedLenaandhow
shetol
dmet omyf acethatImeannothi
ngto
her
Danny"
Zero?Ear
thcal
li
ngtoZusiphe!"She
wavedherhandi
nfr
ontofme,shakingmeout
ofmyri
veri
e
Me"
yeah?
"
Danny"
arey
ouokay
?"
Me"
yeah!
"Sheshookherhead
Danny"
youhaventbeenl
i
steningt
oanythi
ng,
doyouevenknowwhatwear eworki
ngon?"
Me"
yeah,
theEv
anscase'
Danny"Stev
ens!Ser
iouslyman,whati
sgoing
on?"Isatuponmychai randl
etoutaloudsi
gh
Me" Danny
,hav
ey oueverdonesomething
horr
ibl
etoapersonwhodi dnotdeser
veit
becauseyouweresel
fi
sh?"
Danny"mmm no!Idontt
hinkt
hatIhaveev
er
i
ntent
ional
l
yhurtany
oneIcareabout
"
Me" r
ight,
ofcour
sey
ouwoul
dnt
..
.I
m suchan
asshole!
"
Danny"
whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?"
Me" backinmat
ri
c,Ididsomethi
ngter
ri
blet
oa
gi
rlIcall
edmybestfri
end.Ihur
thersobadthat
shehadt oquitschoolandl
eavet hecount
ry.I
recentl
ysawherl astweekaft
er8y ear
s!She
wontev enlookatme, shet
oldmet hatIam
nothingtoherandt obehonest,
ithurt
s"
Danny" wellyousayyouhurthersobadt hat
sheleftthecountrysoitmusthav ebeenwor se
thanyout houghtman.Shehad8y earsofnot
seeingyout oworkthroughthepai nandget
pastit
,younotbei nginthepicturemadet hi
ngs
easybutshemusthav ebeenshockedt osee
youandi tmusthav ebroughtupsomef eeli
ngs
tohertoobutwhatdi dy ouhonest l
ythinkwas
goingtohappen?Thaty ouwoul dreconcileand
shewoul dfalli
ntoyourarmsi ntearstelli
ngy ou
thatshef or
givesyou?"
Me"wel
lnobut
..
..
say
ingt
hatI
m not
hing?That
s
abi
thar
sh"
Danny"arey
ouev enli
steningtoyour
sel
f?Idont
knowwhaty oudidbutIm guessi
ngitwashuge
forhert
obeactingli
kethis.Youknowthe
fuckeduppar taboutpeopl ewhohav ewr onged
you? "Ishookmyhead" itst hef actthatwhen
theyr ealiset heirfuckingmi st
akes, theyexpect
thev ictimt oj ustfinditint hemsel vest oforgive
andgi vesecondchancesbutoncet hev i
cti
m
doesntdot hatandt heygi vey oual ittl
ehard
ti
me, it
st oohar shandy oucantt akei t
!Here' sa
l
itt
leadv iceZer o,youwr ongedt hatper sonand
youknowi t..
.sowhycanty out akeitwhenshes
givingy out hecol dshoul derandpushi ngy ou
awayf rom herl if
ey etshehadt otakewhaty ou
didt oher , wor kthroughi tandbui l
dupherl ife
agai n?Yout hinkitsunfairwhatshesdoi ngnow?
Thenwhataboutwhaty oudi dt oher ?Wast hat
fai
r?Shel eftt hecountrybecauseofy ou..
..
just
l
eav et hepoorgi rlal
onesoshecanwor k
throughheremot i
onsaf terseei ngy ouaf t
eral l
thesey ears"
Me"
Isupposey
ou'
rer
ight
"
Danny"y
oubetyourassIam 
:) 
"Ichuckl
ed
"
I'
m gonnal
etyouhaveadaytocol
lecty
oursel
f
thentomor
rowwecanstartworki
ngagai
n"she
stoodupandcol
lect
edherst
uffthenwal
ked
outofmyoffi
ce.

Isatbackonmychai randDannywasr i
ght,I
hadhur tLenatoomuch, shelef therhome
becauseofmeandi tonlymadesenset hatshe
wasst i
llangrywithmeandhat edme.Shedi dnt
meanwhatshesai d,i
twasj ustsomesor tof
defencemechani sm, ofcourseshewasntgoi ng
tosmi l
eandf all
intomyar msat hishef
orgiv
es
me, mypr esencedefinit
elyaffect edher
!!

Iknewt hatIhadletLenaliveherli
fendi
ngabe
ndimhluphabutIjustcouldnt.Iwantedt
ot al
k
tohersobadl ysoafterworkIt ookachance
anddr ovetoherboutique.Luckyformeitwas
sti
llopen.Ienter
edtheshopandherboy fr
iend
wasal one,Icoul
dntseeher
Me"
hi"hel
ookedupandhi
sexpr
essi
on
changed,
hedi
dnotl
i
keme"
I'
mlooki
ngf
or
Lena"
Deluka"
why?Whatisi
tthatyouwantwi
thour
Lena?Shedoesnotwanttoseeyou"
Me"lookman,Iunderst
andt
hatasher
boy
friend,
mypresencemustbugyoubut
..
..
"
Del
uka"
boy
fri
end?Who'
sboy
fri
end?
"
Me"
Lena"hel
aughed
Deluka"ohhoneyIam notLena'sboyfr
iend,
rat
herherbff 
:)"andjustfr
om thosewor ds,
I
knewt heguyisgay.If
eltsorel
i
ev edt
hatI
smiled
Me" oht
henmybad,
Ithoughty
ouguy
sar
e
dat
ing"
Del
uka"
we'
renot
..
.sowhatdoy
ouwant
?"
Me"
justt
otal
ktoLena,
issheher
e?"
Deluka"
nosheisnotandev
enifshewas,
I
doubtshewoul
dwanttotal
ktoyou"
Me"
butI
..
..
."
Deluka" butnothing..
.theonl yreasony ouwant
totalktoLenai stoeasey ourgui l
tyconsci ence
buther e'
st heZero,whaty ou'refeelingr ight
nowi snot hingcompar edt owhaty oumade
Lenaf eel.Youusedhert rust ,youusedherbody
andy ouusedherl ovef ory ouagai nsther .You
publicl
yshamedherandt ookawayher
i
nnocence. ...
so nodude, youhonest l
ydontget
afreepasst hi
st i
met ot al
kt oLenaandease
yourconsci ence..
..
shesnotgoi ngt of orgivey ou
andi fyouhav eanydecencyi ny ou,y ouwi l
l
walkoutoft hatdoor, dontt hi
nkabouty our self
foronceandl etthegir ll
iveherl i
vewi thout
you!"Ilookedathi m, unabl et omov e" thedoor
i
st hatwaysweet heart "hecamet omeand
pushedmet owardst hedoor" dousal l afav our
andf ocusony ourgir
lf ri
end"hef lashedmea
fakesmi lethenwal kedbacki nsidet heshop.
Iinhaledonel ongbr
eathandwal kedtowards
mycar .Igotinandj
ustasIwasaboutt ost ar
t
thecar ,IsawLenagetoutofher s...
Ipull
edon
thedoorhandl et
ogetoutbutt henIthought
aboutwhatDannyandDel ukasaidsoIst opped
andj ustlookedathereyongenaatt hebout i
que.
ImademybetandnowIhadt olivewithits
consequencesandnotdr agLenai ntoit
 :-/
[
12/
02,
18:
41]Ron:
MyWor
stMi
stake

I
nser
tTwel
ve

Zer
o..
..
..

EventhoughIf eltl
iket
hebiggestasshol
einthe
worldandIbadl ywantedtomaket hi
ngsright
wi
t hLena,everyonewasr i
ght,
Ihadtoleaveher
al
oneandl etherl i
veherli
fewit
houtme
dr
aggingheri ntomydr ama.Ihadmyownl i
fe
toli
ve,agr eatj
ob,anicehomeandmost
i
mpor tantl
yabeautif
ul andwonderf
ulgirl
fr
iend.
Ifel
tbadt hatIhadbeensoconsumedbymy
guil
tthatIhadtotal
lyneglect
edKwezi butli
ke
theamazi ngpersonthatsheis,
sheletmedeal
withmyt hingscossheknewt hatIwil
lalways
gobackt oherbecauseshei smyhome.

Ipassedbyherf avori
tecaf eont hewayhome
andboughtherf avouritefood.Ihadt omake
thi
ngsr i
ghtwi thKwezi .Whi leIwast hi
nking
aboutthat ,
myconv ersationwi thLena' sfri
end
poppedi ntomyhead, hewasntherboy fr
iendso
didthatmeanLenawassi ngle?Idontknow
whybutt hatmademef eel rel
ieved,kinda
selfi
shdonty out hi
nk?Iwashappywi thKwezi
butthethoughtofLenahav ingaguyi nherlif
e
kil
ledme, Ijustcouldntf athom t hethoughtof
somemant ouchingher ,Iwant editt
obeme. ..
.I
fi
nallyadmi t
tedittomy self.Ther easonwhy
Lenahav ingamani nherl i
femademesoedgy
wast hatIwantedtobet hemani nherl
if
ebut
becauseofourpast ,
Iknewt hatwouldnever
happen.IlovedKwezi andforanenti
reyear,
shewast heonlywomanf orme,Isawaf uture
withherbutnowt hatLenawasbacki nmy
l
ife..
..
wellnoti
nmyl i
fespecifi
cal
lybutnowt hat
Ihadseenher ,i
twaski ndofhardtoimaginea
futurewit
hKwezi  
:-/

AnywayIarr
ivedathomeandshewasinthe
l
ounge,weari
nghergreyl
eggi
ngsandati
ght
top
Me"honeyI
'
m home!
"Shel
ookedatmeand
smi
l
ed
Kwezi"wel
comehomehoney!
"Iwentt
osi
tto
nextt
oherandki
ssedher"
mm whatwast
hat
for
?"
Me"j
ustf
orbei
ngyou,
you'
reamazi
ngy
ouknow
t
hat
?"Shesmil
ed
Kwezi
"thanky
oubut
..
..
" 
Me" I'
m sorryt
hatIhavebeenact i
ngsodist
ant
l
atel
y ,i
tsjustt
hatIhadthi
shugebl astf
rom t
he
pastandIhav ebeenbattl
ingwithsome
emot i
onsofguiltandregr
et"herhappy
expressi
onchangedt owor r
y
Kwezi
"youwantt
otal
kabouti
t?"
Me"yourememberthatl
adyatChaot
ic?Wher
e
youboughty
ourdr
ess?"
Kwezi
"yeah"
Me" hernamei sLena, weusedt obebest
fri
endsi nhighschool ..
..
."Iconti
nuedtotel
lher
ever yt
hing.Kwezi andIhadnosecr et
sinour
rel
at i
onshi pwhi chiswhyourr el
ati
onshipl
asted
sol ong.Shebr oughtoutt hebestinmeandI
l
ov edt hatabouther .BythetimeIwasdone
tel
lingt hest or
y, shewasshockedbey ond
wor ds" Iwasy oungandal lIwantedwast obe
popul ar,Isoldmyf ri
endshipjustsoIcouldfi
t
i
n"
Kwezi"wow!Nowondershewassost
unnedt
o
seeyou"
Me"yeahandwhyshedoesntwantt
oseeme
atal
l
"
Kwezi"
ha.
ababydontworr
ytoomuchaboutit
okay
?Shewil
lcomearound,j
ustgi
vehert
ime"I
smil
ed
Me"Iintendt
o,infactIi
ntendtofocusal
lmy
at
tent
iononthemosti mpor t
antwomaninthe
worl
dt omerightnow"
Kwezi
"ohy
oudonow?
"
Me"
yes"Ipul
l
edhercl
oset
omeandki
ssedher
.

Il
aidherdownont hecouchandnest ed
comf ortabl
ybetweenherl egs.Isl
ippedmy
handunderhert opandgr abbedoneofher
breasts,shewasnotwear i
ngabr a.Iplayed
withit,squeezi
ngherhar dnipplewithmyi ndex
fi
ngerandt humb.Final
l
yIpul l
edtheshi r
tover
herheadt henwhent ot ownonherchestar ea,
kissi
ngandsucki ngonherni ppleswhi l
e
rubbingt hem t ogether.Shear chedherback
andgav emef reer ei
gn,shepushedmyhead
l
owerandIchuckl edbecauseIknewwher eshe
wantedmet ogo.Imov edfrom herbr easts,
plant
ingsof tfeatherykissesal lthewaydown
tohernav el.WhenIr eachedherwai st,Iputmy
handst owor kandpul l
eddownherl eggings.I
kneeledont hecouchandr eachedf orher
under wearnay onday ehli
sa.Ilookedather
beautifulgor geousbodyandf eltmyer ect
ion
getti
nghar deritstartedtohur t.Ibentdownt o
kissheri nnert hi
ghsasIwor kedmywayup.

WhenIf inall
yreachedmydest i
nati
on,Ihadher
openherl egsevenmor e.
..
Iteasedhercli
twit
h
thetipofmyt ongueandIhear dhergaspand
touchmyhead.Whi lepay
ingattent
iontoher
cli
t,Ii
nsertedonef i
ngeri
nsideherandshelet
outaslightmoan, whenshewaswetenoughI
i
nsertedanot herone.Makingcircular
mov ement swi t
hmyt ongueonherand
thr
ustingi nandoutofherwi t
hmyf inger
s,she
waswr i
gglingandwrithi
ng,pushingherwai st
upandbr ushingmyheadwhi lesay i
ngmyname
soft
ly.Thatpl easedmebecausei tgav eme
confir
mat ionthatsheisenjoyi
ngi t
.

Istoppedmuf fi
ngherandmov edupt okissher
withoutremov i
ngmyf i
ngerf rom insideher .I
fi
ngeredunt i
lshecameal lov ermyf ingers.I
pull
edthem outandshequi cklywor kedon
undresssingme.Remov ingmyshi rtandpant s
withease, shepulleddownmyunder wearand
Zikhal
icameoutt opl ay.Ifeltherwar m hands
onmymember ,mov i
ngherhandupanddown
myshaf t.Shesl owlyletmei nsideherandwi th
onelong, slowt hr
ustIwasi nside.Myey es
cl
osedandIt ookinthepl easur abl
emoment .
Afterawhi leofmaki nglov ewi thmeont op,i
t
wast i
met otradeplaces.Ipul l
edoutandsaton
t
hecouchyenawazohlal
aphezukwam,
she
l
ookedatmeandsmiled
Me"gof orari
debaby
"shesmi l
edandst arted
movingontopofme.Iclosedmyey esandj ust
enj
oyedhav i
ngmygir
lri
deme.Iheldherwai st
andhelpedhermoveontopofme.Shepi cked
upherpaceandwentcrazy,mybodybuiltupt o
acli
maxandIshotmyl oaddeepinsideher

Shecol
l
apsedonmeandIhel
dhercl
ose,
ki
ssi
nghershoul
dert
henmov
ingt
ohersoft
l
ips
Kwezi
"mm t
hatwasni
ce"
Me"i
treal
l
ywas 
:) 
"shet
ookadeepbr
eat
h
waj
ongaonthet
abl
e
Kwezi
"whati
sthat
?"
Me"
thati
sourdi
nner
"
Kwezi
"good,
Iam f
armi
shed"
Me" ofcour
seyouare"shechuckl
edand
star
tedtogetoffmebutIheldher
,shel
ooked
atme" Il
oveyou" 
Kwezi
"Il
ovey
out
oobaby
"
Me"ImeanitKwezi
,Idonteverwantt
otake
youorwhatwehaveforgrant
ed.Il
oveyou"she
smil
ed
Kwezi"IknowbabyandIl oveyout
oo"shegot
offmewanxi baizi
ntozakheandIj
ustworemy
under
wearnday aebedroom yet
huwhil
esheset
uptheplatesforbasit
ye

_
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___

Lena.
..
..
..

Ient
eredt
heshopandDelukadidntevenwai
t
formetosi
tdownbefor
etell
ingmet hat
Zusi
phewasl
ooki
ngf
orme
Luka"
whatagor
geousasshol
e!"Il
aughed
Me"
gor
geous?
"
Luka"wel
lyes,eventhoughhesacompl et
eass
wecannotbeobl i
vi
oust othefactt
hatheadds
ontotheli
stofthehottestSouthAfr
icanmenI
haveseensofar"
Me"
Idontev
enwantt
oknow"Il
aughed
Luka"l
etstal
khonest
lyt
henmyangel
.Wi
l
lyou
evert
alktohi
m? "
Me"maybe,
whenI
'
mready
..
.f
ornow,
Ijustwant
t
ofocusonMeMeMe!"
Luka"oooohhhhsel
fcent
eredmuch?
!"I
l
aughed
Me"
wel
l
...
..
 ^
_^ 
"
Luka"
okaywel
lyou'
reent
it
led"
Me"Idobel
ieveIam"helaughedt
ooandwe
pr
eparedt
oclosetheshopandgohome,Iwas
t
ir
edAF

Saf
ikaendli
niandIwassur
pri
sedtoseeJacei
n
myliv
ingroom.Hesmiledwhenhesawmeand
st
oodup
Me"
Jace?
"Isai
d,sur
pri
sed
Jace"
Lena,
for
giv
emef
orj
ustshowi
ngup"
Me"
it
'sokay
,isev
ery
thi
ngokay
?"
Jace"yes,
Ijustwant
edtoseeyousoIt
ooka
chance.Ni
koletmein,Ihopey
oudontmind"
Me"
it
sal
ri
ght
"
Jace"ar
eyouf
reet
oni
ght
?Iwoul
dli
ket
otake
youout"
Me" ohJace,
Ihav
egy
m..
.I
'
m notsur
eifI
..
..
"he
chuckl
ed
Jace"
it
sokay
,wecangot
omygy
m"
Me"
what
?"
Jace"yeah,y
ouwantt ogotoagym,Iwantto
spendtimewithyouandIownagy m,i
tsawin
winforbothofus"Lukapushedmetowards
hi
m
Luka"
gochange"
Me"
uhokay
..
.wel
lIwi
l
lseey
oui
naf
ew"
Jace"gr
eat"Iwentupst
air
stochangei
ntomy
gym cl
othes.

Myheartwasbeat ingat100beat sperminute,

howcouldJacej ustspringadateli
kethi
son
me,phofuwasi tevenconsideredadateifwe
weregoingtothegy m?AaaahhhhwasIev en
goi
ngtobecomf ortabletogotothegym with
hi
m?If i
nishedchangi ngndafakamychanging
cl
othesinsi
demygy m bagt henwentback
downstair
s
Jace"
ready
?"
Me"
yeah"
Jace"
gent
lemen"
Niko"youkidshavef
un!"Ilaughedandshook
myhead.Jacet ookmyhandandwewal kedout
tohiscar.Heopenedthefrontdoorforme
ndangenaandhewal kedroundt ot
hedriv
er'
s
seat
Me"
Oli
ver
?"
Jace"i
tshi
sdayoff"hest
art
edthecarand
drov
etohisgym whichwasi
nthemiddleoft
he
ci
ty

Jace"Ihavet
ochanget
oo,
sowecanwor
kout
toget
her"
Me"okay "heheldmyhandagainandwe
wal
kedi nsidet
hegymtoasmal loff
ice,we
weregreetedbysomeotherguy,heopenedthe
of
fi
ceandweent er
edthenJaceclosedit.He
l
oosenedhi sti
ewhil
eopeningasmal lcl
oset
,I
wassit
tedonachai rwatchi
nghim.Het ookoff
hisj acket,thet iefollowed, hisshirtthenhi s
vest .Iswal lowedhar dasIl ookedathi sbody ,
per fectl
yt annedbr onzebeaut i
fulgor geous
bodywi thaper fectsi xback.Ist ar
t edt of eelall
sweat yandmyl egsf el tmoi st,myi nner
goddessy awnedandst retched, Awakeni ng
from herl ongov er
duesl eep.Shesmi led
pleasant lyandwhi mper edwi thexci t
ement .My
hear tthumpedv iol
ent l
yagai nstmyr ibcage.He
unf astenedhi sbelt,hi szi ppedwentdownand
thepant sf ollowed, Iswal lowedagai n, unabl eto
l
ookaway .Themanwasl ikeasexgodand
ev eryinchofmybodyscr eamedandcr i
edout
tohi m, beckoni nghi mt ome.Myi nnergoddess
wasgoi ngwi l
datthi spoi nt,Ili
ckedmyl ipsand
mov edar oundi nmychai rtof i
ndacomf ortable
sitti
ngposi tionbutIf ailed.

Whil
esti
l
lundr
essedhemov edt
owar
dsmeand
Il
i
ftedmyheadtolookupathi
m
Jace" l
ikewhaty ousee? "Inoddedshy ly,he
tookmyhandsandpul l
edmet omyf eet" Ili
ke
whatIseet oo : ) 
"heheldmywai standpul led
mecl oset ohi mt heki
ssedme.Theki ssst arted
offsl
owandpr ecisebutbecamemor e
passionateandhungr y.Hepr essedmeagai nst
thedeskt henl i
ftedmeupwandi bekaont he
desk.Asi fmyhandshadami ndofthei rown, I
pull
eddownhi sunderwear ,hewasf ullyer ect
andmyi nnergoddesscl appedherhands
happilywithexci t
ement ,Iwassowetandmy
cli
twaspul sat i
ng.Hepul l
edmygy mt opov er
myheadandwentt ot
ownwi thhismout hal l
overmybody .Sl
ippedhi shandi nmypant sand
star
tedr ubbingmycl i
t,Imoanedand
whimper edi npleasure

Hepul
ledt
hem downwi t
hmyunder
wearand
spr
eadmylegsapar
twi t
hhi
sst
ronglegs,
Ifel
t
hi
smemberlurki
ngaroundi
nmyentr
ance
Me" condom"Imur mur edbreathlessl
y.He
stoppedkissingmeway ovulaadr awert hen
camebackwi thacondom.Heputi ton
wabuy elakum, her eopenedmyl egsandwent
i
n.Igasped, surprisedbyt hediscomf ortofhow
bighewas.Hef uckedmesohar dthathehad
tocov ermymout hf rom al
ltheloudmoani ng.I
t
hadbeenawhi lesi nceIhadsexandJacewas
amazi ngatit
.Itwassogood, IthoughtIwas
goingt odi
ef r
om al l t
hepleasure.Hishands
mov edt omyassandhepul l
edmecl oserto
him, Idugmynai l
si ntoasherockedmet oa
mindbl owi
ng,ear t
hshaki ngorgasm.

Afterweweredone,hepulledoutofmeand
disposedofthecondom,tossi
ngiti
ntoabi
n
thencamet obacktokissme
Jace"whatarey oudoingtomeLena
September.
..
.Icantgetenoughofyou"he
whisper
edagai nstmyearandIjustsmil
ed
[
12/
02,
18:
42]Ron:
MyWor
stMi
stake

I
nser
tThi
rt
een

Lena.
..
..
..

Afteroursteamysessioni
nt heof f
ice,we
cl
ot hedoursel
vesandwalkedoutt ot hegym.I
waswel lawareofthestar
est hatfoll
owedus
especial
lyfrom t
heladi
es,l
ookingatJacel i
ke
hewasapi eceofmeat.If
eltast abofjeal
ousy
ashesmi l
edandwav edatoneoft hem.We
walkedtot hetr
eadmill
s
Jace"youtakethisone"hesai dtome,there
wasonei nfrontofmebutt herewasaguy
usingit
,hewentt otalktohim,theguysmiled
andnoddedgr aceful
lythenstoppedthe
tr
eadmi l
landsteppedof f
.Jacehoppedonand
start
editaft
erstarti
ngmi netoajog.Iwatched
hi
m wor koutanditwasthesexi
estthi
ngIhad
everseen.Thesweatroll
ingdownhisbiceps
andthesweatonhi sfor
ehead,heli
ckedhislips
andIwasal mostknockedoffbal
ance.Myi nner
goddessbeamedupatmebutIscol dedher ,
howcoul dIsti
ll
wantmor eaft
erwhatwej ust
di
di nhi
sof f
ice?

Whenwewer edone,hewenttogetussome
dri
nksandIwait
edforhi
m whil
edryi
ngmy sel
f
off
.Aguytappedmeont heshoul
der,
Itur
ned
tofacehi
m
Him"hi,mynameisDani
el.Ihav
enev
erseen
youaroundher
ebefor
e"
Me"
it
smyf
ir
stt
ime"
Dani
el"
ohsosomeonei
nvi
tedy
ou?
"
Me"
yeah"
Daniel
"soyouli
kewhaty
ousee?wehav
ealot
offaci
li
ti
esher
etomakesur
ethaty
ouhavet
he
bestwor koutbutifyou'r
enotreal
l
ythegy m
ty
pe, notonl
yam It hemanagerbutIam alsoa
personaltr
ainersoIcancomet oyourplace.
Hereismycar d"hereachedi
ntohispocket
Jace"t
hatwontbenecessar yDani el
"hepl
aced
onehandonmyshoul der"shedoesntneeda
member shi
pory ourcardseei ngthatshei
sthe
owner'
sgirlf
ri
end"myhear tflutt
eredatthe
wordgir
lfri
end.I
ttookmebysur pri
seandI
wantedhimt osayitagain
Dani
el"
Isee,
enj
oyt
her
estofy
oursessi
onsi
r"
Jace" t
hanky ou"Dani
ell
eft,
Jacegav
ememy
bottl
eofwat er"doIhavetohidey
ouundera
rock?"Ilaughed
Me"
whywoul
dyoudot
hat
?"
Jace"
gotmymanagerhit
ti
ngonyou,
hewasnt
evenl
ooki
ngaty
ourfacebutaty
ourt
it
s"
Me"wel
ltheyar
epret
tygoodl
ooki
ngt
it
s"hi
s
mout
htwistedi
ntoasmil
e
Jace"saythatagainandImighthavet otake
youovermyknee"myey eswidened,taken
abackbyhisst at
ement"l
etsgohome"het ook
myhandandl edmebackt otheoffi
ce.Iwas
sti
l
lponderingoverwhathesaid,whatdidhe
meanbyt hat?

Wer et
r i
evedourbagsandwalkedoutofthe
gymt ohiscar.Heopenedthedoorformeand
thenwentar oundt
ohisside.Hestart
edthecar
butturnedtothewrongsi
deoft heroad
Me"
Ithoughtwewer
egoi
nghome"
Jace"wear
e,justsi
tti
ght
"Isatbacki
nmyseat
andhedrov
et ohisnei
ghbor
hoodinst
ead,
I
l
aughedali
ttl
e
Me"
ohsoy
oumeanty
ourhome?
"
Jace"
gui
l
ty"
Me" asl
ongasyoufeedme,i
tsall
good"he
chuckl
ed.Wear
riv
edathishouseandwenti
n,
thehousewasasbeaut if
ulasIrememberedit
,
ahelpercamet otakeourbagsandgreetusat
thedoor.Jacetookmyhandandwewal kedup
stai
rstohisroom
Jace"
bat
hroom i
sovert
her
e,y
oucant
akeas
l
ongasyouneed" 
Me"thankyou"Ilef
thim nday
ongena
ebat
hroom anditwasjusttodiefor
.Iran
myselfabubblebathandsoakedmyachi ng
body,ey
esclosedandjustwashingtheday
away.

Aftermybat h,Iwentbackt othebedroom,

therewashi st-shi
rtandaboxersplusagown
ont hebed.Iwor ethem andthesli
ppersaswel
l
thenwentt ofindhimi nthedi
ningroom.He
wasal readysi
ttedattheheadoft hetabl
e
l
ooki ngfreshandsmi li
ngupatme
Jace"
myshi
rtl
ooksgoodony
ou"Ismi
l
edand
l
ookedatmy
sel
f
Me"
glady
out
hinkso 
:)
 "
Jace"
come,Ihadmychefr
emaket
hatmeal
we
hadonourf
ir
stdat
e"
Me"
real
l
y?"
Jace"
youl
i
kedi
tdi
dnty
ou?
"
Me" l
ovedit
"Iwenttositdownandwestar
ted
eati
ng,themealgoi
ngdownni cel
ywi
thgood
wineandgoodconversati
on

_
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___

Zer
o..
..
..

Iwokeupt henextmor ni
ngandKwezi wasntby
mysi de,
Istr
etchedandgotoutofbedt othe
bathroom,whereIbrushedmyt eet
hthenmade
thebedoqgibandayaekitchen.Mybabywasi n
therecooki
ngupast orm,shewasmov ing
aroundthekitchenswift
lyandsingi
nghappi
ly
.I
stoodthere,
wat chi
ngherwi t
hasmi l
e,my
beauti
fulKwezi :)
 .Sheturnedandjumpedup
whenshesawme
Kwezi
"hey
!Whendi
dyougether
e?!
"
Me"
Ijustwokeup"
Kwezi
"I'
m al
mostdonewi
thbr
eakf
ast
"
Me"
great
,I'
m st
arv
ing 
:)
 "
Kwezi
"good,
hav easi
t"Iwentt
ositdown,
I
wat
chedherfi
nishi
ngupukupheka
Me"
you'
rei
nagoodmood"
Kwezi"
whywouldntIbe?Youknowfora
momentther
eIthoughtIwaslosi
ngyoubut
af
terl
astni
ght,
Iam happytoknowthat
..
..
..
"
Me"Iloveyou.
..
?I'm sorr
ybaby,y
oumeanthe
worl
dt omeandIwi llnevert
akethatf
or
gr
anted"shesmiled
Kwezi
"Il
ovey
out
oobabyandIpr
omi
set
o
al
way
sappr
eci
atey
out
oo"
Me"thenwehaveitmade!"Shel
aughed,
waj
i
ka
way
ot hat
hai
plat
esanddishedupforus
Me"
oohhht
hissmel
l
samazi
ng 
^_
^ "
Kwezi
"theneatal
othuh 
:)
 "
Me"Iwontdi
sappoi
nty
ou"andImeantt
hati
n
ev
eryway

Aft
eraful
lhear
tydel
i
ciousbr
eakf
astandali
ttl
e
qui
cki
eintheshower
,Iwentt
oworkfeel
ingl
ike
anewman!

Iwor
kedthrought heday,
putt
inginmybest
ef
for
tsint
oev ery
thing,
Iwasbasicall
ybackto
myoldselfbefor
eIsawLena.I twasduri
ngmy
l
unchbreakwhenZuxspr ungasur pr
isevi
siton
me
Zux"
wor
kingIhar
dIsee!
!"Il
ookedupandwas
st
art
ledt
oseehi
m
Me"
Zux!Whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?!
"
Zux"Icamet
osurpri
semabestfr
iend!I
'min
CapeTownforworksoI
'mtaki
ngy ouout
!"
Me"mm wellIwontsaynotothat"Igotupand
gat
heredmystuffsahambaneboyy am.We
di
dntgofar
,wef oundthecl
osestcafeandsat
down.Weorderedandourdri
nkscamef ir
st
Zux"
sohowar
ethi
ngsman?
"
Me"t
hingscouldntbebet
ter
,Kwezi
andIar
ein
agr
eatplace"
Zux"ohsot
hatmeansy
ou'
vef
orgot
tenabout
thewhit
egi
rl
?"
Me" ofcour
senot,I
'
mj ustl
ett
ingherdealwi
th
thi
ngsinherowntime.Idontwanttoalwaysbe
i
nherf ace,
sheneedstheti
meandpeopl ekeep
sayi
ngshesmov edon"helaughed
Zux"
peopl
ekeepsay
ing?
"
Me" y
eahsoIshoul
dletherkeepi
ngmov i
ng,I
dontwanthert
osuff
eranymor ebecauseof
me"
Zux"nowthat'
sthesmar
testt
hingIhav
ehear
d
yousayinalongti
me"
Me"IknowIhurtherbigti
meandIt houghtI
hadfor
gott
enabouthernay oyonkelont
obut
seei
ngheragai
n, shei
ssobeaut i
ful
I
cant
..
..
wel
lIcouldntgetheroutofmymi nd"
Zux"eeehhhh?Doy ourememberwhatIt old
you?Kudalawamt handalamntanamfethu!You
fel
lforherthatt
imey ouwerepret
endingto
dateherbecauseofthebet.Thewhitegir
listhe
thi
ngy oukeepsayingismissi
nginyourli
fe"
Me" Iusedtothi
nkthattherewassomethi
ng
missingbutnowIam learningt
oappreci
ate
andbegr at
efulforwhatIhave,
thatbei
ngmy
beautif
ulgi
rl
fri
end"
Zux"wow!Whathavebeendr
inki
ngman?Ihave
neverseeny
outal
ksomuchsense!Soareyou
sayi
ngthaty
ouseesomet
hingwi
thKwezi
now?"
Me"Ihav
eal waysseenafut
urewithKwezi,i
ts
j
ustt
hatIletmysel
fgetsi
detrackedalotbut
t
hatwonthappenany mor
e,Il
oveKwezi"
Zux"
am Ihear
ingweddi
ngbel
l
s?"Il
aughed
Me" y
ou'resuchacrazyfucker
!"Helaughedand
Ishookmyhead.Wef i
nishedourl
uncht hen
wentourseparat
eway swi t
hthepromiseofa
boysnightsometimedur i
ngtheweek.

Aft
erwork,Igotacallfr
om mymot her,I
contemplat
edansweringitbecauseshewas
goingtoguil
ttr
ipmeaboutnotgoi nghome, soI
di
dntanswerndizxel
elebaIwi l
lcal
l herl
ater
.

Ihadtakensomeworkhomewi t
hmesobefore
Kwezigothome,Iwasi
nthestudydoi
ngsome
work.Justt
opassti
me,Iwentonmyinst
agram,
myf ingersdi dallt
het ypi ngandsuddenl yIwas
l
ooki ngatLena' spage.I twaspubl i
candIcoul d
seeev ery
thing.Icoul dnthol dmy self ,Ibrowsed
throughherpageandy hot hegi r
l hadchanged
alot !Shewassmoki nghot ,shehadr eal l
y
wor kedhar dandmadeanamef orher self,I
sawt hatChaot i
cwasi nter nat
ional aswel l.I
cameacr osssomepi ct uresofheratt hebeach,
shel ookedsensual andsexyi nabi kini, t
hose
pictur esremi ndedmeoft hefirstt i
mewemade
l
ov e, howscar edshewasbutt r
ust edme, how
shehel dont omeandl aidonmychestaf terwe
wer edone.Ir emember edt het wistingpai ni n
mychest ,thewar mt hIf eltthroughoutmybody
whenIwat chedhersl eepi ngpeacef ully.She
l
ov edmeandIpl ay edwi thherhear t,Il ovedher
toobutIwast oodeepi ntosomet hingt hat
didntev enmat t
er,Ilethergoandl osther
forev er

Kwezi
"youl
oveherdonty
ou?
"It
urnedar
ound
andKweziwasstandi
ngatthedoor
,hereyes
gl
isteni
ngwit
htear
sbutshewassmi l
i
ng.I
stoodupndayakuyeandt
ookherhandsthen
ki
ssedthem
Me" usedt oloveherandbackt henIdi dntknow
thatIl ovedher ,Iam onl yrealisingi tnowt hat
shewasnti ni talone,Iwast her ewi thhert oo
butIwast oof ocusedonf i
ttingi nthatmy
selfishnessdr oveherawayandhur ther.Ifeel
terr
ibleZi ,
whatIdi dtoani nnocentbeaut i
ful
nicegi rlstil
l hauntsmeespeci all
ynow, nowI
am comi ngt otermswi thev ery t
hingt hatIdid,
allthoseemot ionsIhadsupr essedandchose
nott odeal wi t
har ehitti
ngmeal latoncebut
l
istent omebaby ,
you'retheoneIl oveokay ?I
wanty ou, Iwantourl i
feandIwantourf uture
pleasedontdoubtt hat,okay ? "Shenodded,
bli
nkedandt het earsfellontoherdel i
cate
cheeks, Iwi pedt hem awayandl ookedi ntoher
eyes" y oudonthav etowor r yaboutLena, she
probabl ywi llnev ertal
kt omeagai nandev enif
shedi d,
Iwouldonlytel
lherhowsorr
yIam but
sti
llcomehomet oy ou"shenoddedagai
nand
ti
lt
edherheadup, Idippedmineandwekissed
theembr acedi
nawar mlovi
nghug

_
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___

Lena.
..
..

Thi ngsweregoinggr eatwi t

hJaceandI ,he
treatedmel i
keIwast heonl ygirli
nthewor l
d.
Wehadbeendat ingf oraf ulltwoweeksandI
washappywi thhim, sohappywi thhim butat
ti
mesIcoul dnthel pbutf eel i
nt i
midated.I
twas
har ddati
ngJaceDel awar e,oneoft hemost
eligibl
emenandr ichestmeni nthecountryand
hewasal l
mi ne.Iwassoj ealousofanywoman
thathadanysor tofrelati
onshi pwi t
hhim,
seei nghi
mi nter
actwi thanot herfemale,where
hesmi
ledandenter
tai
nedhermademewantto
pul
lmyownhairout,t
hat
stheki
ndofef
fectt
he
manhadonme.

Ial
socoul dnotav oidthef actthatther ewas
somethingv erydarkinhispast ,
somet hi
ngt hat
happenedt ohim asachi ldandi tscaredme.
Jacehadt erri
blenightmar es,theyseemed
vi
olent
, al
way swokemeupi nasweat .Ididnt
wanttopushhi mintoopeni ngupt ome
becausewehadntbeent oget herthatlongbutI
becamemor ecur i
ousandt heneed, the
desperateneedt oinsertmy sel
finhisl i
feint hat
way.Theguyknewev erythingaboutmebut
sometimesIf eltli
keIwassl eepingwi tha
str
angerev erynightforthepastt woweeks
si
ncewest art
edget ti
ngint i
mat e.

BecauseJacewassoinvol
vedi
nchar
it
iesand
fundr
aiser
s,weof
tenatt
endedt
heseevent
sto
supporthiscause, itsurpr
isedmehowmuch
moneyhedonat edt ohischar i
ti
esitgavemea
l
itt
leglimpseint
ohi sli
fe,Jacecaredaboutthe
wellbeingofchildrenkakhul u,
hewant edto
protectever
ysingleoneoft hem fr
om allt
he
harmsoft hi
swor l
dandIadmi redthatabout
hi
m.

Anyway ,
thisonetimehei nv i
tedmet ot his
fundraisi
ngauct i
on,heev enboughtmeadr ess
andev erythi
ng.Alongr edl acedresswi than
openbackandpl ungingv -neckexposinga
perfectcleavage.Thedr esswassosexy
becausei twasseet hroughandhadal ongsl i
t
thatexposedmyent i
relegwhenIwal ked.Af t
er
dressingup, Imethim downst ai
rswher ehe
waswai t
ingforme
Jace"wow!
!Babythatdr
ess!
!Imadeami
stake"
Igavehi
m aconf
usedlook
Me"
whatdoy
oumean?
"
Jace"
Icantl
ety
ougooutl
i
ket
hat
!"
Me"
whynot
 :
( 
"
Jace"no!Idi
dntreal
iseitwasthatsexy!You
l
ookamazi ng,soamazingthatIwanttohide
you..
.l
ookatthatcl
eave,di
dy ourboobsget
bigger
?"Il
aughed
Me"whatareyout
alki
ngabout
?Iam 26y
ears
ol
d,Ist
oppedagei
ngalongti
meagoJace"
Jace"
butst
il
l.
..
..
"Ol
i
verwal
kedi
n
Ol
i
ver"
it
sti
meMrDel
awar
e"
Jace"t
hankyouOliver"hel
ookedatme"
shal
l
we?"Heasked,st
ickingouthi
selbow
Me"weshal
l"Ili
nkedmyar m wit
hhisandwe
wal
kedoutt
ot hecar.Oli
veropenedt
hedoort
o
t
heli
moandIsl i
din,Jacecominginaft
erme

Ol
iv
erst ar
tedthecarandpul
ledoutofthedr
ive
way,Jacepressedabutt
on,div
idi
ngthedri
ver
andussowecoul dhav eourpriv
acy.Ifel
ta
ti
nglebet
weenmyl egs,Iwasal r
eadysohotf or
hi
m.Anot hereff
ectJacehadonme, j
ustone
l
ookandmybodywoul dscream outforhim,we
hadliket
heebestsexl if
eandi twashealthy
becauseIdontevenr ememberhowmanyt i
mes
adaywewoul ddoit,IJustcouldneverget
enoughofhim.

Hepul ledmet owar dshim butItookitastep

furt
herandst raddledhim, heheldmywai stand
Idippedmyheadt oki sshim.Istartedtomove
acrosshi sl
ap, f
eelinghiserecti
onriseand
sti
mul atemycl i
t.Her ai
sedhi swaistand
start
edmov i
ngwi thme, hishandsnowonmy
ass
Jace" whatar
ey oudoingtome"hemur mur ed
againstmyneck, myhandswentt ohiszip,I
pull
edi tdownbuthest oppedme"nother e"I
l
ookedathi m andsulked"delay
edgrati
fi
cat i
on
baby
"
Me"
what
?"
Jace"
wewi l
ldot
hiswhenwegethomel
ater
thi
seveni
ng"
Me"
Icantwai
tthatl
ong"
Jace"
itwi
l
lbewor
thi
t,Ipr
omi
se"
Me"but
..
..
"hel
i
ftedmeupbymywai
standset
medownnextt
ohim
Jace"Ipr
omi
se"hebr
ushedhi
sli
psagai
nst
mine
Me"f
inet
hen"Ipul
l
edhi
m cl
oseranddeepened
t
heki
ssbuthepull
edmeback
Jace"
dontt
emptmewoman"Ichuckl
edandl
et
hi
m go

Wear ri
vedatthepl
aceyeauct
ion,
theminut
e
Jaceentered,
headstur
nedandIsawthe
appreci
ati
vegazesfr
om thewomen,If
eltpr
ide
thatIwaswi ththeguybutj ealousatthesame
ti
met hatt heywer elookingathiml i
kethat.
Jacewentar oundt her oom mingli
ngwiththe
guests,introducingmeashi sgirl
fri
end,If
eltso
giddyinsidebeingl abeledasJaceDel aware's
girl
fri
end.Wewer ejustgett
ingsit
tedatour
tableswhenar edhai redwomant appedJace
ont heshoul der,webot hturnedtofaceher
Jace"
Ali
ce!
"HehuggedherandIal
mostl
ost
mymind
Al
i
ce"
Jay
,iti
ssogr
eatt
oseey
ou!
"
Jace"youtoo,
whendi
dyour
etur
nfr
om
London?"
Alice"thismorni
ng, Iheardyouwouldbeher e
soIt houghtIshouldcomeandsur pri
se
you : ) 
"IgaveuAlicelowakhonaar undown,
shewor eagoldversacegown, itwaslong
sleevedandhadapl ungingv-neckfr
ontjustl
ike
mydr ess,sheworeagol dpendantaroundher
neckandherhai rflowedef f
ortl
essydownt o
hershoul
ders.Thewomanwasbeautiful
andI
fel
tastabofjeal
ousyjustl
ooki
ngher
,what
wereherrel
ati
onswithMYJace -_-

If
inal
l
yclear
edmyt
hroat
,taki
ngbackJace'
s
at
tent
ion
Jace"ohAlice!I
'
dlikey
out omeetsomeone,
thi
sisLenaSept ember
,sheist
heownerof
Chaoti
cbout i
queandalsomygirl
fr
iend"I
smil
edthinkinghewouldntment
ionthatl
ast
part
Ali
ce"Chaoti
c?Ithi
nky
ouoncedressedafr
iend
ofmineinfashi
onweek,y
ouhaveamazing
desi
gns"
Me"
thanky
ou"
Jace" t
hisi
sAl i
ceGreen,shei
sanol dfri
endof
mine"Iwasst unned,IhadneverheardJace
ref
ertoanywomanasaf ri
end,theywereal
l
businessassociat
esoracquaintances
Me" i
tsnicetomeety ouAli
ce"Isaidcoldly
,
damnIhat edher..
.anol
dfri
end?Didt hatmean
sheknewt hingsaboutJacethatIdidnt?Ihat
ed
thatpar
tev enmore :(
Ali
ce" y
outooLena,
wel l
Ishoul
dgobackt
omy
seat.Jace,
cal
lmelateronduri
ngt
heweek,l
ets
catchup"
Jace"def
ini
tel
ywil
l"hehuggedherandki
ssed
bothhercheekswhil
eIrol
ledmyeyessohardI
gotdi
zzy.

Theaucti
onwentgreat
,moneywasrai
sedfor
thechi
l
drenandIgotmyhappyendi
ngwhenwe
gothomelat
erthatni
ght,
itt
rul
ywaswort
ht he
wait
.

Iwassl
eepi
ngpeaceful
l
ywhenIwasawakened
abr
uptl
ybyJacehavi
nganot
herni
ghtmare.
Thi
sti
meitwasthemosthorr
if
ict
hingIhad
everseen,hewassi tt
ingup,wi
thhi
sDinhand
andmast urbati
ngviol
entl
y.Ij
umpedoutt
he
bedandst aredinhorror
Jace"Im doi
ngitI
m doi
ngit
!!Youdonthavet
o
hurtmeIm doingi
t!
!"Hesai
dinapanicked
scaredvoice
Me"Jace..
..
Jace..
."Ical
l
edouttohim buthe
di
dntstopsoIhadt oshakehim kanci
ncisohe
woul
dwakeup.Hi seyesopenedwide,hewasa
l
it
tl
edisori
entat
edbutassoonashesawme,
hepul
ledmei ntohisarmsandheldmet ight
Jace" Lena.
..Iam sogladi
tsyou"Iswall
owed
thelumpi nmyt hr
oatandsaid
nothing..
.st
il
l scar
edli
kehell
afterwhatj
ust
happened.
[
12/
02,
18:
43]Ron:
MyWor
stMi
stake

I
nser
tFour
teen
Lena.
..
.

Jacewasst i
llholdi
ngmet i
ghtandIwasstil
l
recover
ingfr
om t heshockofwhathadjust
happened.Fi
nallyIbrokeawayandlookedat
him,hewassweat yandonedge
Me"
Jace,
arey
ouokay
?"
Jace"
yes"henodded
Me"
whatj
usthappened?
"
Jace"Ihadabaddream t
hatsal
l
,let
sgoback
tosl
eep"Ilaughedal
it
tl
e,washebeingser
ious?
Me" gobackt osleep?Howcany oueventhi
nk
aboutsleepi
ngatt hist
ime?Itwasntj
ustabad
dream, whatkindofbaddream makesaperson
dot hattot
hemsel f?
"
Jace"
Lena,
justf
orgetabouti
t.I
twasonl
ya
baddr
eam"
Me"
what
?Ar
eyoubei
ngser
iousr
ightnow?
"
Jace"
whatdoy
ouwantmet
osay
?"
Me"howaboutyoutellmewhatsexactl
ygoi
ng
on?Tel
lmewhatyouwer edreamingabout
"he
di
dntsayawordbutjustt
urnedandlai
dback
onthebed.

Feel
i
nghurt
,Igrabbedthegownnextt
othebed
andwor
eitthenthesli
pper
s,het
urnedtof
ace
me
Jace"
whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
"
Me"
I'
mleav
ing"
Jace"
what
?"Hesatup
Me"
Isai
dIam l
eav
ing!
"
Jace"
Lena.
..
..
"
Me"I
'
m notstayi
ngher
eonemoremi
nutei
fyou
ar
enotgoingtot
ell
whatt
hehel
li
sgoi
ngon
wi
thyou!
"
Jace"
ify
ou'
rel
eav
ingnowbecauseofwhat
happened,howwil
lyouhandl
ethet
rut
h?You
wil
lneverwantt
oseemeagai n"
Me"
whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?"
Jace"
you'
rel
eavi
ngbecauseyou'
redi
sgusted
wit
hwhatyousawmedoi ngt
omy sel
f"Ibl
inked
afewti
mes,hur
tthathet
houghtsoli
tt
leofme
Me" isthatwhaty out hinkofmeJace?Thatat
thefir
stsignoft roubleIwi l
lrunforthehil
ls?
Youdontt rustme?Youdontbel i
eveinme? "He
gavemeabl anklookandt hatwasallIneeded
towal koutthedoor" thefactthatyouwoul d
thi
nkIam sov ai
n,isani nsultt
omeandi t
hurt
s...sostayher ewi thyourli
esandy our
secrets"Iturnedtol eave

Jace" Iwas12whenmyst epfatherst

arted
mol esti
ngme"hesaidwhenIr eachedthedoor.
Istoppedandt ur
nedsl
owly"hecamei ntomy
room onenightandtol
dmet hatIhadt opayfor
everythi
ngthathedi
dformymot herandI.Fi
rst
i
twast het hingshemademedot ohi m,I
couldntsaynot ohi m, hedidntgi vemea
choice"Imov edcl osert othebedandsatdown
nexttohi m, hecl osedhi sey esanddr ewi none
l
ongbr eatht henopenedhi sey esagai n"Itold
mymot herabouti tandshepr etendedshedi dnt
hearme.Shel ethim hav ehiswaywi thme,
touchingme, forcinghi msel fonme, maki ngme
dot err
ibledi sgust i
ngt hi
ngs.Shel ethi m abuse
me, mymot herf ailedt oprot ectmeasherchi l
d,
sheknewwhathewasdoi ng, shesawhow
badlyitaf f
ect edme, shehadanexcuseev er y
ti
mesomeoneaskedquest ions, everynew
bruiseIhad, shemadeexcusesf orhim al lt
he
ti
me"hi seyesshonewi t
htear s,ther oom was
dark,theonl yl ightwast hemoonl i
ghtcomi ng
throught hewi ndow, thecur tainswer eslight l
y
opened.Myhear tbr okef orhi m,Iimagi ned
Jaceasascar edl i
t t
leboy ,beingabusedbyhi s
stepfatherandhi smot herdoi ngnot hingabout
i
t.Itmademehur tandangr yforhim, Iwant ed
sobadl
ytoholdhim andtakeawayhispainbut
whenImovedclosertohim,hehel
duphi shand
bl
ocki
ngme.Ifeltalumpr i
seinmythroat
,I
tr
iedt
oswall
owi tbuti
twast oobi
gandev er
y
ti
meItri
ed,
myt hroatfel
tanachi
ngburn

Jace" sowhenIwas14, Imadet heconsci ous

decisi
ont opr otectmy self
,theabusehadbeen
goingonf oryears, Icouldntendureitany mor e.
SoIhi dakni feundermypi ll
owandwai t
edf or
him, j
ustasIexpect ed,heshowedupi nthe
middleoft henight.Themi nutehestarted
touchingme, Ipulledoutt heknifeandst abbed
himr i
ghtint heneck.Hecr i
edoutandhel dhi s
neck,fall
ingt othegr oundandbl oodgushi ng
outev erywher e.Mymom camebur stingin, she
sawhi m andf elltohi sside.Shescoopedhi m
upinhi sar msandt r
iedtost opt
hebl eeding, I
satont hebed, eyeswi de,inshock..
..
itfeltli
keI
washav i
nganoutofbodyexper ience.She
yell
ed' whatdidy oudo' atmesomanyt imes
thatIfeltar i
ngingi nmyear s,Ishutt hem and
ranoutont ot hest reet.Ir anunt i
lmyf eet
burned,Isl eptont hest reett ooscar edt ogo
home.Ist ay edawayf oracoupl eofday sbut
eventuallyt heyf oundme, hewasdead. .
.Ihad
kil
ledhim andIf el
tnot hing.Nor emor se, r
egr et
,
guilt
..
.t
hef actt hatIhadki l
ledhi m hadnoef f
ect
onmeatt het ime, If el
tIhaddonewhatI
neededt oi nor dert opr otectmy self
.Mymot her
disownedme, clai
mi ngt hatIwasadev i
lchi l
d,I
bouncedar oundt hesy stem f ory earsaf termy
casewascl osed.Fr om f osterhomet of ost er
home, Inev ersawmymot heragai naf tert hat.
Finall
ywhenIwas16Imetanol dman, his
nameEr i
cDel awar e, hehadj ustlosthi swi fe,I
waswor kingf orhi m ashi sgar dener.He
becamef ondofmeandt ookmei n,
wef oundi n
eachot herwhatwewer el ookingf or..
.af ami l
y .
Dadt ookmei nandshowedmewhati tsl i
ket o
beasonandwhati tsliket ohav eaf at her.He
l
egal l
yadopt edme, Ichangedmynamef rom
Ghel
lert
oDelawar
e,hetookmetoschool
.
..Igot
i
ntobusi
nessandtheresti
shi
stor
y"
Me" Jace..
...
"Ical ledhisnamei nabr okem
voi
ce, myt earsf elldownmycheeksandI
wantedt ohol dhi m sobadl y.Imovedclosert
o
him oncemor ebuthebl ockedme" Ijustwant
toholdy ou..
.please"Isai dinapainedtone.He
mov edhishandandIf el
linhisarms,Iwrapped
minear oundhi mt i
ghtlyandheldclosetome.
West ayedl i
ket hatf oralongt i
me,thebothof
uscryingpai nfullyineachot her'
sarms

Aft
erwhi
lewest
opped,
Ilookedathi
m andhe
l
ookedatme
Jace"i
tst
il
lhaunt
sme, ev
eryt
hingcomesback
tomeinnightmar
es,
Ifeelev
erysingl
eemoti
on
andIdontknowwhattodo"
Me"
tal
ki
nghel
ps"
Jace"
youmeanl
i
keapr
ofessi
onal
?"
Me"
yes"
Jace"
no,
Idontneedashr
ink,
Im notcr
azy
"
Me"t
alki
ngtoapsychol
ogi
stdoesntmakey
ou
cr
azy
,itj
ustmakesyouahumanwi t
hfl
aws,
emot
ionsandst
ufftodeal
wit
h"
Jace"
hav
eyouev
ert
ri
edt
her
apy
?"
Me" yes,Ihadat raumati
cexperienceinhigh
school,Ididntknowhowt odeal withitsomy
fathertookmet oapr of
essional.Shereall
y
helpedmegetoutofmyshel landbeconf i
dent
enought obet hepersonIam today "hewas
thoughtfulforamoment" youdonthav et
odoit
i
fy ou'r
enotr eady"
Jace"noIwantto,Idontwanttobeli
kethi
s
anymoreLena.I
fyout hi
nkthi
swill
helpmeand
usthenIwil
ldoit"
Me"good,
justkeepanopenmindokay
?"He
smi
l
edandi twarmedmyheart
Jace"
Iwi
l
l"Ihuggedhi
m agai
n,f
eel
i
nghappy
t
hatheopenedupt
omeabouthi
spai
nful
past
Me"yousee?I
'm st
il
lher
e"If
elthi
m smi
l
e
agai
nstmyhead
Jace"you'
resti
l
lher
e"hewhi
sper
edand
ti
ghtenedhisgr
ipar
oundme

_
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___

Zer
o..
..
.

Timef lewby ,KweziandIwer est i

llhappy,Ihad
squashedanyi nsecuri
ti
esshemi ghthave
aboutLenaandIhader asedev eryt
hingLenai n
mylife.Shewasdat ingJaceDel awar e,
they
weret hehot t
estnewi tcoupl
e, Iwontl i
eand
sayitdi dntbothermebutIqui cklygotridoft he
feel
i
ngandcar ri
edonwi t
hmypl an,tojustleave
heraloneandl i
vemyl i
fewithmyowngi rl
fri
end.
Onenight,
KweziandIwer
ewatchi
ngt
v
comfort
ablyont
hecouchwhenmymom cal
l
ed.
Me"
heymom"
Mom "Zusi
phe!
!Whydonty
ouev
eranswery
our
phoneorcal
lmeback?"
Me"
Iam doi
nggr
eatmamahowar
eyou?
"
Mom "
dontpat
roni
zeme!
"Shescof
fedandI
si
ghed
Me"
Ihav
ebeenbusy
,Iam sor
ry"
Mom "
it
sfi
ne,
anywaytomor
rowIwi
l
lbef
lyi
ng
t
oCapeTown"Ij
olt
edup
Me"
what
?Why
?""
Mom "nowIneedanexcuset oseemyson?I
am bored"shewasntworki
nganymor
esoy eah
sheprobablywasbored
Me" mom!YouknowIl
i
vewi
thKwezi
,Idont
t
hink..
..
"
Mom "
youhav
easpar
eroom r
ight
?"
Me"
yesbut
..
..
"
Mom "
thenit
ssettl
ed.Iwouldl
ovetospend
moreti
mewi t
hthewomani nyourli
fe,
gett
o
knowherandteachheri
zint
ozalapha
kwaZi
khal
i"
Me"
mom.
..
"Isai
ddef
eat
ed
Mom "Iwi
ll
arr
ivearoundyourl
unchbr
eak, Iwi
l
l
cal
lyouwhenIland"t
henshehungupbef oreI
coul
dgetanot
herwor di
n.Isi
ghedandlooked
atKwezi

Kwezi
"wheni
sshecomi
ng?
"
Me"
tomor
row"
Kwezi
"what
?Nobuti
tsshor
tnot
ice!
"
Me"Iknowbutyouknowmymom baby
,she'
s
comi
ngwhetherweli
keitornot
"
Kwezi
"Ishoul
dpr
epar
etheguestr
oom t
hen.
Whil
eyou'
reatwork,Iwil
lcal
li
nsi
cksoIcan
pr
epareev
eryt
hingforher"
Me"
babey
oudonthav
etodot
hat
"
Kwezi
"butIwantt
o,sheismyfutur
emotheri
n
l
awsoIwanttotakecareofher
"Ismil
ed
Me"okaythenf
uturemakoti"Imovedinf ora
ki
ssbutshegotoffthecouch"hey
...
."Isulked
Kwezi"sorr
ybabe,butIhavetogopickout
l
inenforthebedtheshedisappear
edint
othe
passagendashi
yekandibukel
eitv

Thefoll
owingdayjustasmymot herhadsai
d,
ngelunchbreakyam shecalledmeandIwent
tofet
chherattheairport
.IcalledKwezi onthe
wayandshet ol
dmet hatshe'salreadyatwork
butevery
thi
ngwasr eadyformymot her
.

Iarr
ivedattheair
por
tandtheminut
eIsaw,
I
real
i
sedt hatIhadmi
ssedher.Weshar
edalong
hugthenIcarr
iedherbagsoutt
omycar
,
shovedthem i
nthebootandwedrov
ebacki
nto
thecit
y
Mom "Iam sorr
ymybabyforspr
ingi
ngt
hison
you,
Ijustneededt
ogetaway"
Me"
from what
?Isev
ery
thi
ngokay
?"
Mom "yes,
butever
ynowandt hen,
aper
son
needsachangeofscener
y,y
ouknowwhatI
mean?"
 
Me"y
eah"Icoul
dntshakethefeel
i
ngthatmy
mom wasrunni
ngawayfrom somethi
ng
Mom "
Iam st
arv
ing,
weshoul
dgetsomet
hing
t
oeat"
Me"
mama!
"
Mom "what
?Comeonbaby
,havelunchwi
th
me"Icoul
dntsaynot
omymothersoIagr
eed.

Whenwear
ri
vedi
ntheci
ty,
Iwentt
othe
nearestfoodpl aceIcouldf i
nd, oblivi
oustothe
factthatitwascl osetoLena' sbout ique.My
mom andIwenti n,f
oundour sel vessomeseat s
thenweor dered.Assoonasourf oodwasset
downbef or eus,Lenawal kedt hrought hedoor
andmyhear tj
umpedt omyt hroat .Sheworea
maxi whitesummerdr ess,herhai rt i
edint
oa
neatbunandshehadsungl asseson.  
Mom "
Zusi
phe?Ar
eyouokay
?"
Me"yeah"Irepl
iedwithoutremovi
ngmyey es
fr
om her.Shewalkedupt otheti
l
landshewas
obvi
ousl
yor der
ingtakeouts.Mymom fol
l
owed
myeyest othedoorandsawhert oo
Mom "i
sthatLenaSept
ember?"Sheaskedme
andInodded"ohmy!Shehasgrownintoa
beaut
if
ulyoungwoman,whati
sshedoi ngi
n
CapeTown? "
Me"sheli
vesher
enow,
sheopenedher
bout
ique"
Mom "
oht
hat
sni
ce,
shel
ooksamazi
ng!Hav
e
youspokentoher?
"Mymot herknewabout
whathappened,
whatIdidt
oLena. .
.t
heguilt
hadbeeneati
ngmeupi nsi
desoIconf essed
ever
ythi
ngtoherbutt
hatsnotwherewear e
ri
ghtnow
Me"
Itr
iedbutshewoul
dntl
etme"
Mom "
ohsoshesst
il
lhur
ti
ng"
Me"didntseem l
i
keit
,shetoldmeshef
eel
s
not
hingbecauseIam not
hing"
Mom "
wel
lar
eyousur
pri
sed?
"
Me"
mom!
"
Mom "I
'
m bei
ngseri
ous,y
oucantj
ustexpect
hert
oturnal
eafandfor
givey
ou"
Me"Iknow,I'
m gi
vi
nghersomespace.
..
.she
hasanew...
..
"andbef
oreIwasdonewit
hmy
sent
ence,mymom call
edoutLena'
snameat
thet
opofherlung.
Icr
ingedwithembarrassment
,Lenal
ookedover
andsmiledwhenshesawmymom,
aut
omat i
cal
lywalki
ngov er
.Mymom stoodup
andtheysharedahug
Mom "ohwowmybaby !
!Youareal
lgrownup!
!
Lookathowprett
yyouare"Lenabl
ushedand
l
ookeddown,Ichuckl
ed,amusedbyhowcute
shewas
Lena"
thanksmom 
:)
 "
Mom "
sit
!hav
elunchwi
thus"shel
ookedatme
t
henbackatmymom
Lena"
Icant
,Ihav
etogobackt
othebout
ique"
Mom "ohr i
ght!Well sitdownwhi leyouwait,I
j
ustwantt olookaty ou"shepul l
edachairfor
herandbecausenoonecansonot omy
mother,Lenasatdown" sohowhav ey oubeen
chi
ld?Itissuchashamewhatmysondi dto
you"Lenalookedst artled,Iassumeditwas
becauseshedi dntthinkmymom knew" butI
canseey ouwor kedt hrought hat
,Ihearyou
haveyourownshopandl
ookathowbeaut
if
ul
andradi
antyouar
e"
Lena"wel
litwasnteasy
,itt
ookanenti
reyearof
ther
apytohealandbeabletoputmysel
fout
ther
eandletpeoplei
nagain"
Mom " awholeyearsisi
 
: O !
!Zusi
phedoy ou
seehowmuchdamagey oudidtothepoor
chil
d?"If
eltal
lthebloodinmybodyr usht
omy
face,mymom putmeont hespotandIhadno
words
Lena"sowhatareyoudoinginCapeTown
mama? "Iwasrel
ievedandthankful
t oLenaf
or
changi
ngthesubjectpl
usIwant edtoknow
howlongshewasgoi ngtobeher efor
Mom " aweekorso, itwil
lgivemeenought i
me
tofinal
lymaket hi
ngsrightbetweenthetwoof
you"wel ookedateachot hernoLenabutsaid
nothing"youcannothideorrunawayf r
om thi
s.
Youmustal waysfaceyourtroubl
esheadon!
Yout hi
nkt haty
ourtherapywi l
lbeanygoodif
youcantfacet hesourceofyourpai nheadon
Lena?Tell
ingmysonhei snothingwasagood
mov ebecausehedeser vesitbutyoucantj ust
l
ookt heotherway ..
.y
ourheali
ngpr ocessmust
goalltheway !SowhenIhav eset t
ledin,y
ou
wil
lcomet oZusi phe'
splaceont heweekend
andwewi llhasht hi
ngsoutokay? "
Lena"
butmom...
.I
..
..
"shest
art
edt
opr
otestbut
mymom cutheroff
Mom "areyousay
ingnot omeLena?Thi sold
womanwhoseesher sel
fasthemot herf
igure
youneverhad?Ar
ey oureall
ygoi
ngt osaynot o
me?"Oncemymom hady ougui
l
ttri
ppedl i
ke
t
hat,t
hereisnowayy oucouldeversayno!
Me"
mom!
"Shel
ookedatme
Mom "l
ist
enher eyoutwo, t
hismadnesshas
goneonforlongenough!Youneedt ostop
bei
ngsuchcowar dsandt al
ksoy oucanreal
l
y
moveonwi t
hy ourli
ves!Thisweekend,
youhear
me?!"
Us"
yesmom"wer
epl
i
edi
nuni
son
Mom " good!Lena,gi
veyournumbertoZusiphe"
Iquickl
yretri
evedmyphonef rom mypocket
andgav eittoLena.Sheputinhernumberthen
retur
nedt hephonetome" good!
"Shesaid
again.LenaandIjustsatt
here,t
ooscaredto
arguewi t
hher :-
/
[
12/
02,
18:
43]Ron:
MyWor
stMi
stake

I
nser
tfi
ft
een

Zer
o..
..
.

Me"di
dyoureal
l
yhav
et oambushherl
i
ke
t
hat
?"Iaskedmymom onthewaytomypl
ace
Mom "y
esIdidbecauseshedi
dnthav
eachoi
ce
butt
osayyes"
Me"
butmom.
..
."
Mom "ha.aZusiphe,dontbutmom me, t
hisi
s
somethi
ngt hatneedstobedone.Youbot h
needtodeal wi
ththisandmov eonwithyour
l
ives,
togetherorseparat
ely"Il
aughed
Me"
toget
her
?"
Mom "
yes,youlov
edeachot
herbackt
hen,
may
bey ousti
ll
do"
Me"mom, not al
kli
ket
hatinfr
ontofKwezi
okay
?Shei stheoneIwanttobewi t
hnotLena
sopleasedontmakeherfeeli
nsecureor
i
nfer
ior"
Mom " whenhav eIevernotbeenni cetoher?
Shei sav erywellmannerednicegi rlwhois
from agoodhome, Ili
keher.Isuppor tany
relat
ionshipyoudecideisbestfory ou.Ijust
dontwanty ouandLenahol di
ngont othepast,
i
tsshackl esaroundyourfeetyouneedt obreak"
mymom madeal otofsense,Ireallywantedto
talktoLenaandmakeherunder standsoshe
couldforgivemeoneday" i
fyouar ehonestwi t
h
Lena,y
out el
lherwhatyoutol
dme,t
hegi
rlhas
averybigheart
,shewil
lfor
giv
eyou"
Me"
your
eal
l
ythi
nksomom?
"
Mom "
yes,
all
thet
woofy
ouneed,
isal
i
ttl
eti
me
t
otal
kthat
sall
"
Me"okay
,becausey
ou'
remymom,
Iwi
l
ltr
ust
you"
Mom "
hahahat
hat
smyboy
"

Wearri
vedatthef
latandImadesur
eshewas
set
tl
edbefor
eIwentbacktowork
Me"
Kwezi
wil
lbebackso,
pleasebeni
ce"
Mom "ofcourseIwi
l
l,youmakeitsoundl
ike
t
hisi
st hefi
rstt
imeI
'm goi
ngtobespending
t
imewi tht
hewomeni nanyofmyson'sli
ves"
Me"ri
ght
!Any
wayIhav
etogo,
Iwi
l
lseey
ou
l
ater
"
Mom "
okaybaby
,enj
oyt
her
estofy
ourday
"I
ki
ssedheront
hecheekt
henIwasoutt
hedoor
.

Onmywaybackt oworkIthoughtaboutmy
Lenaandhowuncomf ort
ableshemusthav e
beenwithmymom ambushi ngherliket
hat.I
arr
ivedatt
heoffi
ceandcheckedhernumberon
myphoneanddeci dedt
ocallher,sheanswered
aft
erafewrings
Lena"
thi
sisLena!
"
Me"
heyLena,
itsZer
o"
Lena"
oh!Zusi
phe,
whatcanIdof
ory
ou?
"
Me" Ij
ustwanttoapol
ogi
zeformymom's
behavi
ourearl
i
eron,youknowhowpushyshe
canbe"
Lena"ohthat
sokay
!It
sni
cet
oknowshest
il
l
caresabouty
ou"
Me"wel
lyouar
eli
ket
hedaught
ershenev
er
had"
Lena"yeahsoIdontmi ndherbossi
ngme
aroundalit
tl
e"shewasi nagoodmood, Ihadnt
expectedhertoevenconti
nueaconversati
on
withme.Ithoughtshewoulddropthecallas
soonasshehear dndim of
ownayo
Me"okaywel
laboutoursi
tdown,i
fyou'
rebusy
onSatur
dayy
oudonthav et
o..
..
"
Lena"Zusi
phe,
itsokay!
"Itf
eltsowei
rdtohear
hercal
lmebymyf ul
lname,howIwishedwe
coul
dgobackt othatpl
acewhenshecalledme
Z :(
Me"
arey
ousur
e?"
Lena"yeah,maybeshei sri
ght..
.i
tsti
met ost
op
runni
ngandf aceourdemonsheadon"demons?
Wast hatwhatIwast oher?Ademon?Wow!
"Notthatyou'
reademon. .
.butImeanl i
kethe
sourceoftheproblem"Ismiled,sheclear
ed
thatupsoquicklyasthoughsher eadmymi nd
Me"okaythen,
IguessIwi
l
lseey
ouon
Sat
urday
"
Lena"
great
"shehungupbef
oreIcoul
dev
en
sayby
e :-
/

Iworkedt hr
ought hedaywi t
houtanyhassl
es,I
j
ustwant edtogohomeandr estpl
ustel
lKwezi
aboutmymom' splanswithLenaandIthe
comingweekend, IhopedtoGodshewoul dnt
takeitt
hewr ongwaybutKwezi wasa
reasonablepersonsosur el
yshewould
understand.

Fi
nall
ythewor
kdaywasov er
,whenIarr
ivedat
homemyt wofavor
it
eladi
eswereonthecouch
chat
ti
nghappi
lyaboutsomet
hing
Me"wel
lthi
sissomet hi
ngni
cet ocomehome
t
oo,mytwofavori
teladi
esgett
ingalong"Kwezi
l
ookedupatmewi thasmile
Kwezi"
well
yourmom i
sthecool
estper
sont
o
hangoutwi
th 
:) 
"
Me"
ohy
eah?
"
Mom "
yes,
wear
ehav
ingsuchal
ovel
yti
me"
Kwezi
"babewhydontyougoputyourst
uff
down,
Iwill
warm upyourpr
edi
nner"
Mom "howcanInotloveagirlwhot r
eatsmy
sonsowel l
?Sheevenprepar
esy ourpredinner
mealsthatyoul
ovesomuch.Ir eal
lythought
youwoulsgrowoutofthose"
Kwezi"
Itr
iedt
omakehi
m st
opsomanyt
imes
butf
ail
edsomanyt
imes"
Mom "
wel
lmysondoesl
ovet
oeat
"
Kwezi"
hahahaohyeshedoes"t
heyboth
l
aughedandIshookmyheadfeel
ingamused
Me"okayokay
,ar
eyouguy
sdonehav
inga
l
aughonmyexpense?I
'
m goi
ngt
ochange"
Kwezi "
okaybaby"ndabashi
yaandret
rearedto
thebedroom,whereIchangedint
omor e
comf or
tabl
eclot
hesthenwenttojoi
nthel adi
es
elounge
Kwezigav
ememyf oodassoonasIsatdown,
shewasbusycookingdinnerwhi
l
e
si
mult
aneousl
yentert
ainingmymom
Kwezi"somom tel
lsmethatshesawLena
today
"Ialmostchokedonmyfood
Me"
shedi
d?"
Kwezi"yeah,shesay
sshe'sbr
ingi
ngt
het
woof
youtogetherforasi
tdown"
Mom "yes,
itsaboutt i
met heysatdownand
workedthr
ought heiri
ssuessot heycanboth
mov eonwithoutlooki
ngbackandwonder ing
whatif"
Kwezi"mamaIthi
nkthatisafantast
ici
dea.I
ts
beenki
ll
ingmybabylentoyakhenoLena.He
hasbeenwanti
ngtotalktohersi
nceheknew
shesbackint
hecountrybutshe'
sbeenici
ng
hi
m out,wi
thr
easonofcourse"
Mom "
Iwast
her
ewheni
thappenedKwezi
mntanam,Ispoketoherfat
heraftershelef
t
andhetoldmet hathi
sdaughterstay
edupi n
herr
oom alldaycryi
ngunti
lshefinal
l
ybegged
hi
mt otakeherawaybecauseshecoul dntt
ake
i
t"
Kwezi"
mm Icani
magi
ne,
asexscandal
a
kal
oku!
"
Mom "bei
ngbetr
ayedbysomeoneyoul
oveand
t
rusti
stheworstki
ndofpai
ninthewor
ld"
Kwezi"
Iwoul
dhavedoneexact
lyt
hesame
thi
ngasshedi
d"
Mom "
Idontbl
ameheratal
l
"
Kwezi "
youbett
ermakesur eyoumaket his
ri
ghtbabe,Idontwantthi
shangingoverheads
anymore"shesaidtome, l
aphoitwasev en
hardtoswall
owmyf oodthewaytheywer e
tal
kingaboutmeast houghIwasnteveni nthe
room.
Ihadbeenworriedt
hattheywoul
dntgetal
ong
buttheygotal
ongjustf
ine,al
i
ttl
etomuchif
youaskme  -_-

_
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___

Lena.
..
..
..

Afterwor k,NikoandIcl osedt heshop, and

Oli
v erwasal readywai t
ingf ormeout side.I
hardlystayedatmyhousenowt hatIwas
datingJace, Idontev enr ememberusnot
spendi ngtheni ghttogether.Heal way shad
Oli
v erfetchmef rom workandi fhewas
wor ki
ngl at
eorgoi ngtother apy,hewoul dcome
overt omypl ace.Mycarbel ongedt oDel uka
andNi kolajbecauseIdi dntusei tasmuch,
Oli
v erwasl i
kemyper sonal drivertoo
Ni
ko"
looksl
i
key
ourr
idei
sher
e"Ismi
l
ed
Me"
seey
out
omor
rowpumki
n"
Niko"byedol
lface 
: )
 "Iki
ssedhi
m onthe
cheekthenndayongenaemot weni
"hel
l
oOliver
"
Oli
ver"ev
eni
ngmi ssSeptember
"hesmil
edat
met hr
oughtherearvi
ewmirr
or,
alway
sso
pol
iteandpr
ofessional

Wear r
ivedatJace'shousebuthewasnthome
yet,Itol
dhischeft ot akeani ghtof
fandt
hatI
woul dmakeusdi nner.Iroastedsome
vegetables,gri
ll
edani cejui
cystakeandmadea
saladasasi dedi sh,Iwentt ogetasaugv
inoc
blancf r
om thewi necel l
artogodowneasywith
themeal .Isetthet ableandjustwhenIwas
done, Jacefinal
lycamehome
Jace"
mm somet
hingsmel
l
sgood"hecamet
o
ki
ssme,It
ookhi
sbagandputi
tdown
Me" haveasi
t 
:) 
dinnerwil
lbeser
vedina
second"It
ookhisj
acketoffthenwentbackt
o
t
heki
tchennday
othat
haukut
ya
Jace"
itl
ooksgood"
Me"t
hanksbabe,
Ithi
nkIshoul
dtr
eatyoutoa
homecookedmealbymwa!"Hechuckl
ed
Jace"
Iappr
eci
atei
t"
Me" okay,l
etseat"Iwatchedhi
m sl
icei
ntothe
steakandeatit,myinnergoddesswhimper
ed
i
npl easur
eashecl osedhismouthand
savouredthetaste
Me"
iti
sgood?
"Heopenedhi
sey
es
Jace"
bet
tert
hangoodbaby
,it
samazi ng.
Cooki
ngr
eall
yisoneofy
ourbestt
alents"
Me"wellgrowi
ngupwithjustadad,wecoul
dnt
l
iveontakeout
salonesoIlear
ned..
.ImeanI
l
ovefood,mightaswell
knowhowt omakeit
r
ight
?"Hesmi l
edatmeador i
ngly
Jace"sohowwasy ourday?"It
oldhi
m
ever
ythi
ngaboutmyday ,ev
enseeingZusi
phe'
s
mom andeveryt
hingshesaid
Jace"
soundsl
i
key
ouhadanev
ent
ful
one"
Me"
Iknow,
shemadesenset
omey
ouknow"
Jace"
how?
"
Me" Icantrunawayfrom t
his,
from hi
m...
par
tof
theheali
ngpr ocessi
sfaci
ngthecoreofthe
problem.It
stimeZusipheknewexactlywhat
damagehecausedwi thhi
schil
dishgames"
Jace"welli
fy outhi
nki
twil
lhel
pyouheal
thenI
supporty
ou, all
theway"
Me"
thanksbaby
,sohowwasy
oursessi
on?
"
Jace"itwasgood,DrMel ni
ckknowswhatshe's
doing.Wespokeaboutmymot hertoday"my
heartski
ppedabeat,Itr
iedtocontainthe
excit
ementofhim openi
ngupt omeagai n
Me"
and?
"
Jace"sher
eal
l
yletmedown,Ineededhert
o
prot
ectmebutshechoset
hatmanov erme,I
j
ustdontunderst
andhowanywomancoul
d
everabandonherownchi
l
dli
kethat
"
Me" well somepeoplearejustnotmeanttobe
parents"Isaidsourl
y,t
hinki
ngofmyown
mot herwhol ef
tmet hesecondshegav ebir
th.
I
fmydadwasntwhohei s,thelov
ingcari
ng
responsiblemanIknow, Iwouldhaveendedup
i
nt hesy stem :(
Jace"
yeah,
wel
li
tsawor
kingpr
ogr
essr
ight
?"
Me"yesandIseet
hechange,
lessni
ght
mar
es"
hesmil
ed
Jace"
nowIj
ustdr
eam abouty
our
ightbymy
si
de
Me"
oohhIl
i
ket
hatdr
eam"
Jace"f
ini
sheati
ngandwecangohavedessert"
mymusclesspasmedatthet
houghtofdeser
t,
myinnergoddessj
umpi
ngaroundwit
hjoy.

Theday
speel
edawayandbef
oreIknewi
t,i
t
wasSat urdayandIwasdr ivingov ert
o
Zusiphe'
spl ace.Iwasment all
y,physi
callyand
emot i
onall
yr eadyforanything.Iwasgoi ng
therewithanopenmi nd,anopenhear t,notto
fi
ghtbutt odeal wit
hthepr esentsowecoul d
bothlookf orwardtoahappyf utureandnev er
havetodeal wit
heachot heragai n.ZandIwer e
nevergoingt ogobackt obei ngt heki
ndof
fri
endsthatweusedt obebutIhopedt hatwe
couldatleastbeci vi
ltowardseachot herli
ke
twomat ureadul t
s

Iarri
vedathiscomplex,Iwasbuzzedin,I
parkedmycarandIwal kedupt othei
rfl
at.The
elevat
ordroppedmeof fatthei
rfl
oor.If
ound
thedoorandbef or
eIcouldknock,thedoor
opened,It
ookast epback 
Kwezi"
Lena!You'
rehere!
"If
akedasmil
e,not
knowi
nghowt oreactt
owardshi
sgi
rl
fr
iend
Me"
yes,
uhKwezi
right
?"Zhadt
oldmeher
namewhenwespokeov ert
hephonethe
prev
iousni
ghtwhenhegavemedirect
ionst
o
hi
splace
Kwezi"yes!Comeon!Wear eactual
lyonour
wayout !
"Shepulledmei nsi
dethespacious
beauti
ful
lydecoratedfl
at,t
hebalconydoors
wereopenandl etti
nginacoolfreshsmelli
ng
seabreeze"haveasi t
"shepushedmeont othe
sofa

Zandhi
smom cameoutf
rom wher
eev
ert
hey
wer
e
Mom "
Lena!Youcame!
"Ist
oodupandhugged
her
Me"
heymom,
howar
eyou?Youl
ookgood"
Mom "I
'm goodmybaby!Howareyou?And
thanky
ou, sodoyoubutwhatdi
dIexpect
?You
areadesi
gner"Il
aughed
Me"
I'
m al
ri
ght
.Zusi
phe.
..
.hey
"
Z"heyLens"myheartdi
daminibackf
li
p,I
hadnthear
dhim cal
lmethati
nyears"
howare
you?"
Me"
good,
you?
"
Z"Ihav
ebeenlessner
vous"Ismi
l
edbr
ief
ly
t
hensatbackdown
Mom "
okayKwezi
mnt
anam,
let
sgo"
Us"you'
rel
eav
ing!
!"Webot
haskedwi
th
sur
prise
Mom "y
es,
youdi
dntt
hinkIwoul
dbeapar
tof
t
hisnowdi
dyou?
"
Z"
uhy
es!Youar
etheonewhocal
l
edusher
e"
Mom "soyoutwocant
alk,
Iam notapar
tof
t
his.Kwezi
,l
etsgo"
Kwezi"okay
..
.Zero,of
ferhersomet
hingt
o
dr
ink.
..
youguy splayni
ceokay?"
Z"
butI
..
..
."
Kwezi
"lat
erbabe"sheki
ssedhi
mthensheand
hermom i
nlawwer
eoutt
hedoor
.

ZandIwereleftwit
hagiantel
ephanti
nthe
room,awkwardsil
encel
oomingoverusunt
ilhe
brokei
t
Z"
somet
hingt
odr
ink?
"
Me"
yes,
pref
erabl
yal
cohol
"hel
aughed
Z"
wehav
ewi
ne"
Me"
str
onger
"
Z"
vodka?
"
Me"
nowy
ou'
ret
alki
ng,
bri
ngt
hebot
tl
e"
Z" nowy ou'
retal
ki
ng"Ilaughedtoo.Hewentt
o
thekitchenthencamebackwi ththevodka
bot t
leandtwoshotglasses.Heputthem ont
he
tableandsatacrossme
Me"
oneshott
obr
eakt
hei
ce?
"
Z"worksforme"heopenedthebot
tl
eandfi
ll
ed
uptheglassest
hehandedoneovertome.We
cli
nkedthem theni
noneneatsweep,It
hrewit
tothebackofmyt hroatandf
eltt
hebur
nt hen
puttheglassdown

Z"LenaI
'm sorr
y"hesaidaft
erputti
nghi
sgl
ass
down,If
eltl
ikeIneededanotherone
Me"
mor
e"hef
il
ledupt
hegl
assesagai
n
Us"cheers!
"Weclinkedt
hegl
assesoncemor
e
andgulpedtheshotdown
Me"whoooo!"Iputtheglassdownandlooked
athi
m"whydi dyoudoit?Didntourf
ri
endship
meananyt
hingtoy ou?"
Z"itmeanteveryt
hingbutIgotswal lowedand
ropedinbythepopulari
ty.I
tfeltgoodnott obe
i
nv i
sibl
eforonceinmyl i
fe,i
tfeltgoodwhen
everyonewantedapieceofme.Ihadntr eali
sed
howhungr yIwasforthatli
feunt i
lIhaditand
themor eIgot,
themor eIwanted"
Me"
soi
tdi
dntmat
tert
haty
ouwoul
dhur
tmei
n
thepr
ocess?Thatyouwoul
dbr
eakmyhear
t
andtr
ust?Yousoldmeout"
Z"Iwasaselfishassholewhodi dat erri
ble
t
hingtosomeonehel ov
edbecauseIwast ryi
ng
t
obesomet hingIwasnt "Ikeptquiet"Lena,
whenItookthatbet,Iwasonl ythi
nkingabout
myself
,thepowerIhad....
thewayy ouf el
tabout
me"tearswell
edupi nmyey es
Me"Idontev enknowwhenbutIfelli
nlove
withyousomehow, doyouknowhowhappyI
waswheny ousaidy oul
ovedme?Iwasl i
ter
all
y
burst
ingi
nside,It
houghtIwasdi
ff
erentfr
om all
thegi
rlsyouhadbeenwi t
h"
Z" y
ouwer e,youwer emorethatjustdi
ff
erent
.
Youwer everyspecialtomeandbecauseIwas
anasshole,Idismissedanyfeeli
ngIhad
towardsyou,burieditdeepi
nsidemeand
pretendeditwasntthere"
Me"
soar
eyousay
ingy
oul
ovedmet
oo?
"
Z"
yes,
whi
l
eIwasf
akepr
etendi
ngt
odat
eyou,
I
f
elti
t.
..
Ifel
titt
oo,
itwasgenui
neandr
eal
,Ij
ust
wasnt
"
Me"
butt
hatday
..
..
"
Z"Il
ied"t
hingswerebecomingalit
tl
etoo
heat
ed.Ipouredusanotherdr
inkandwetook
anot
hershotandanotherone
Me"
Icr
iedev
ery
day
"
Z" If
el tyourpainev eryday ,itwasmypai ntoo.I
keptr emember i
ngt hatt i
mey ousav edmef rom
ooLiyabona.LenaIpr omi se,Ididntknowt hey
woul dpostt hev ideo, themi nuteIsawi twas
themi nut eIreali
sedIhadbecomet heexact
opposi teoftheguyy oumetatt hebegi nningof
they ear,Iwasnott heguyy oulov ed,yourbest
fri
end.Ihadchangedandi twast hewor stthi
ng
toev erhappen.I m notbl ami ngt heguy sabout
whathappened, Inev ershoul dhav eputy ouin
thatpl acekwasekuqal eni "event houghmy
brainwasal itt
lef uzzyf rom alltheal cohol,I
couldseet hathewasr eall
ysincer eandhewas
f
il
ledwit
hgui
l
tandr
egr
et"
I'
m sor
ry,
please
f
orgiv
eme"

Itooki nonel ongbreathandr eal

isedthatallwe
neededmnanoZi stotalknjeqha,Iwasr eal
ly
overwhathappenedi nhighschool.Ihad
wor kedthrought hatpainandIwashappy ,Ihad
foundmy self
, t
heexperiencehadmademe
growandbecomest r
onger.Iwasntev en
holdingagr udgeany mor e,i
cinghim outwas
j
ustar efl
ex..
.holdi
ngagr udgeandnotf orgiv
ing
peopl eisjusttoohardandi tputsthisheavy
l
oad  - _-
Me" If
orgi
veyouZ,
Iguessmom wasr
ight
,we
neededtotal
k"
Z"
real
l
y?Your
eal
l
yfor
giv
eme?
"Ismi
l
ed
Me"yes"Il
etoutaloudsi ghthenlookedathim
wi
thasmi l
e"damnt hatfeelsgood!Ifeel
li
kea
l
oadhasbeenlif
tedof fmyshoulder"hesmiled
t
oo
Z"
itr
eal
l
ydoesf
eel
li
kegood"
Me"
I'
m hungr
y,whatdoy
ouhav
etoeat
?"
Z"
any
thi
ngy
ouwant
" 
Me" t
henletsgogetsomet hi
ngtoeat "weboth
gotupsayaeki tchen,emptyi
nghiscupboards
andmakingsomet hingtoeat,whi
letalki
ngand
l
aughing.
..
.Ithinkwewer ebothjustdrunkbut
eit
herway,itfeltgoodtofi
nall
ytalkandmov e
for
wardwi t
hourl ives.
[
12/
02,
18:
45]Ron:
MyWor
stMi
stake

I
nser
tSi
xteen

Lena.
..
.

IhadagreatdaywithZ,wehadgottent
hrough
andpastall
theugli
nessofourpast
.WhenI
wassoberedup,Isai
dmygoodby estohi
m and
dr
ovebackt
omyhouse.

TheminuteIsteppedi
nsidethehouse,Iwas
pull
edtot
heloungebytheboy s,t
heypushed
medownont hecouchthensatnexttomewith
eagerf
aces
Me"
andt
hen?
"
Ni
ko"youhavet
otel
lushowy
ourmeet
ingwent
,
di
dyoufor
giv
ehim?"
Me"
ofcour
seIdi
d"
Luka"
Iknewy
ouwoul
d!"
Niko"Ist
il
lthi
nkyoushoul
dhav
emadehi
m
suff
eralit
tl
elonger
"
Me" Iwastir
edofallthehurt
,angerand
resent
ment ,
youknowwhenheapol ogi
zedt o
me, Ir
eal
izedthatIj
ustdontcareanymor e.
Whathappenedi nHighSchoolhappenedy ear
s
agoandmehol di
ngont oitwasholdi
ngme
back.Theguyismuchol der,morematureand
he'
ssorry.
..
Imeanwhatmor
eshoul
dhedo?He
cantundoit
"
Luka"
oohhourLenai
ssogr
own"hecl
apped
hi
shandsandhuggedme
Ni
ko"wel
lIam happyt
hatyouhavemovedpast
i
t,y
oudeser
vebucketl
oadsofhappi
ness"
Me"t
hankyou 
:) 
guys!ButIshoul
dbeget
ti
ng
r
eady
,I'
m goi
ngtoJace'
s"
Ni
ko"
ofcour
sey
ouar
e ^
_^ 
"
Me"
bye!
"Ist
oodupnday
aupst
air
stomyr
oom.

Itookahotshowert henndanxibamyr i
pped
j
eansandasi mplet opnesneakers.It
iedmy
hairupint
oamessybun, grabbedmybagand
phonenday aezantsit
oretri
evemykey sthen
drovetotheothersideofthecityt
oJace's
house.
Hissecuritypeopleknewsot heyletmer i
ghtin.
Iparkedmycarandwassur prisedtoseea
whiteAMGmer cedesaswell,Iwentinsi
dewith
thequestionmar ky obawhoist heownerofthe
car.Iopenedt hefrontdoorandwalkedinafter
greeti
ngthehousekeeper
Me"
Jace?
"Iaskedher
Sof
ia"
inhi
sst
udymi
ssSept
ember
"
Me"t
hanky
ou"Ismi
ledpoli
tel
yatherthen
mademywaytohi
sstudy.Iknockedonce
Jace"Sofi
aIt
oldyou,dontdist
urbme"Iopened
thedoorsl
owlywit
hasmi lebecausehewas
goingtobepl
easantl
ysurpri
sedwhenhesaw
thati
tsme.Mysmi l
esoonf adedwhenIsaw
whohewaswi thanditansweredthemercedes
questi
on
Me"
Ali
ce!
"Thebot
hlookedatmest
art
led
Al
i
ce"
Lacyr
ight
?"Il
aughedsar
cast
ical
l
y
Me"
Lena"
Al
i
ce"
ri
ght
!"Shef
akedasmi
l
e
Jace"Lena,whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?"Iwas
hurtbyhisquest
ion
Me"
whatdoy
oumean?
"
Jace"
whydi
dnty
out
ell
mey
ouwer
ecomi
ng?
"
Me"Ididntthi
nkIhadt
o,weal
way
sspentt
he
ni
ghttogether
"
Jace"
ri
ght
,it
sjustthatIam alit
tl
ebusy"he
wassocol
d,Ifel
tli
kecr y
ingri
ghtonthespot.
WhatwasAli
cedoingathi shousesolat
e?Why
weret
heybehi
ndcloseddoor sinhisst
udy?It
wasnosecr
etthatAlicewassecretl
yinlov
e
wit
hhim
Me"ohokay"Imovedoutoft
hest
udy
,pul
l
ing
t
hedooralongwi
thme

IwassohurtIcouldntevenspeak,Ihadabi
g
assl
umpi nmyt hr
oatandIwant edtocryso
much.Iwentdownst ai
rstot
hedoorsoIcould
l
eav
e.JustasIopenedt
hedoor
Jace"Lena!"Heshout
edmynameandIt ur
ned
around,hewasstandi
ngatt
hetopoft
hest ai
rs.
Hecamer unni
ngdownwazakum "
whereare
yougoing?"
Me"
home"
Jace"
what
?Whyar
eyoul
eav
ing?
"
Me" yousai
dy ou'
rebusypl
usIdontwantt o
i
mposeony ourdowntimewithyourbesti
e"I
didntevent
rytokeepthesarcasm outofmy
tone
Jace"whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?Al
i
cei
sjusta
fr
iend"
Me"Idontcar
e,I
'mleav
ing"j
ustasIt
urned,
he
pul
l
edmebacki nt
ohisarms
Jace"
am Imi
ssi
ngsomet
hingher
e?"
Me"
no"
Jace"
Lena.
..
"
Me" si
ncewhendoIneedt ocall
youwhenI '
m
comingovertoyourhouse?Ial
wayscomeher e
anyway,sonowthatyou'
rewithAli
cebehind
cl
oseddoors,I
m supposedtocheckin?"
Jace"ofcour
senot
,youcaughtmebysur
pri
se
that
sall
"
Me"surpr
ise?Soy
outhoughtsi
nceshe'
sher
e,I
somehowwasntgoingt
oshowup? "
Jace"
it
snotl
i
ket
hat
"
Me"letmegoJace"It
ri
edt
owr
iggl
efr
eebuthe
hel
dmeev ent
ight
er
Jace"
soy
oucanr
un?
"
Me"run?I
'
mjustl
eav
ing,
yousai
dyou'
rebusy
.
Whatdoyouwantmetodo?
"
Jace"
I'
m sor
ry"
Me" f
orwhat
?"Hedidntanswer"
ifyoudont
evenknowwhatyoudidthenwhatareyousor
ry
for
?"
Jace"
you'
remadatmeandIhat
ethat
"
Me" I'
m notmad,Ij
ustwanttogohome.Icame
herebecauseIthoughtIam al
wayswelcome
andIam notusedt onotsl
eepingnextt
oyou
everynight
.I'
m sor
ryfori
ntr
uding"
Jace"baby,
y ouareal way swel
comeher eand
youarenotintrudi
ng.Pl easedontgo"Il
ooked
athim wi
thmyey esfil
ledwithhurt"
I'
m sorryf
or
acti
ngsoshor tandabr uptwithyouearl
ieron"
hepressedmeagai nsthischestandmybody
soft
ened
Me"f
ineI
'
llst
ay"hepul
l
edmeawayandl
ooked
atme
Jace"
thankyou,
pleasemakeyour
sel
fathome
andIwil
lj
oininy
oui naminut
e"
Me" okay
"hekissedmyfor
eheadthenwalked
backupstai
rstoAli
ceandwhatev
erthefuck
theyweretal
ki
ngaboutsolat
einthep.m
Imademy selfalightsnacki
nthekitchent hen
wentupst air
st ohisroom,goti
ntobedand
tur
nedont hetv,andat ewhi
lewatching.Af ew
minuteslater,Jacefoundmei nthebedr oom
andjoinedme
Jace"heybeauti
ful
"hebabyki
ssedmeand
tookabiteoutofmysandwich
Me"
doIf
inal
l
yhav
eyoual
ltomy
sel
f?"
Jace"yes,
Ali
cejustl
eft
"Icri
ngedatt
hatand
Jacesawit"sheisj
ustafri
endLena"
Me" whatwasshedoingheresolat
eanyway ?
Thisisourti
metogether
,Idontl
i
keshari
ng.
Shecanhav eyouduri
ngthedayli
ketherestof
theworldbutwhenitget
sdark,y
ou'r
eall
mi ne"
hechuckled
Jace"
sodur
ingt
hedayI
m noty
our
s?"
Me"you'
remineatt
het ur
nofeveryhourmr
Del
awarebutwhenthesunisup,Icanlendyou
t
othewor l
dbutwhenitcomesdown, t
heycant
hav
eyouanymore,Idontl
i
keshar
ingt
hist
ime"
hesmi
ledandki
ssedmeagain
Jace"I'
m sorr
ybabybutsher
eal
l
yhadan
urgentmatter
"
Me"
youcantt
ell
me?
"
Jace"Iknowy oudontwantmet okeepsecr ets
fr
om y oubutIdontwanttobreakAl i
ce'str
ust
ei
ther"Inodded,hati
ngthefactthatthewitch
al
readyhadMYboy fri
endkeepingstufffr
om
mejustbecauset heyareol
df r
iends 
- _-
 "
ar e
weokaynow? "
Me"yes"hesmi
ledandki
ssedme,
pushi
ngme
downtothebed

_
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___

Zer
o..
..
.
Mymom andKwezi camebackaf ewhours
afteruLenaehambi le.Iwasont hecouchi
ng
wat chingsomet hi
ng, Iwasstil
lhighonthefact
thatwehadt alkedandshef orgav eme,wehad
funt ogetherandsaidwewoul dt r
ytobefri
ends
agai neventhoughsi ngekesibuyeletowhatwe
wer ebeforebutIwashappywewer einabetter
place

Kwezi"heybaby"sheki
ssedmeont
hecheek
thensatnextt
ome
Me"
hel
l
o,y
oul
adi
eshav
efun?
"
Mom "y
es,myfut
uredaught
eri
nlawr
eal
l
y
knowshowtoshowanoldwomanagoodti
me"
Kwezi"
Old?Haibomama,
peopl
ethoughtwe
ar
esist
ers"Il
aughed
Me"wow,
seemsl
i
key
ouguy
shadar
eal
l
ygood
t
ime"
Kwezi
"yeah,
sohowdi
ditgohear
?"
Me" i
twasawkwar
datfi
rstbutaf
teraf
ew
shotsofv
odka,
wewereabletosmooththi
ngs
out"
Kwezi
"Vodka?
"
Me" yes,wej ustsather ei nsi
lence,notknowi ng
whatt osayt oeachot herbutassoonaswe
alcohol i
noursy stems, theconv ersati
onf lowed
easil
y.Itoldherhowsor ryIam, whatr eal
ly
happened, howIr eallyfeltabouthert henshe
toldmehowhur tshewasandt hepr ocessi t
tookf orhertoheal .Shet oldmehowi npai n
shewasandhowmuchshecr i
edev er
yday
becauseofme.Wewer ehonestwi t
hour
feeli
ngsandIguessi tmadet hi
ngseasyf orher
toforgivemebecausewewer er ealwitheach
other.Aftert
hatweat eourf i
rstmeal together
i
n8y earsandwehadf un"
Mom "that
sgreat
!Yousee?Iknewt hetwoof
youcouldfi
xyouri
ssues,
youjustneededli
tt
le
push"
Me"andi
tsall
thankst
oyoumom"shesmi
l
ed
t
rui
mphantl
y
Kwezi
"sowhatnow?
"
Me"well
,wedeci
dedt
otr
yandbefri
endsagai
n,
nott
ryt
obewhatweusedtobebutj
ustget
al
ong"
Kwezi"
that
sgreatbaby
"shedi
dntseem happy
aboutt
hatbutIdi
dntwantt
oaskheraboutit
wit
hmymom ar ound

Kwezi
"si
hlut
hit
hina,
uzot
yant
oni
?"
Me"ar
ey out
ryi
ngt
osayt
haty
oudi
dntbr
ing
meanythi
ng?
"
Kwezi
"thati
sexactl
ywhatwearesayi
ng.Ican
makeyousomethingqui
ckandeasy"
Me"
dontwor
ry,
Iwi
l
lor
dersomet
hing"
Kwezi"
okay
,wel
lIam goi
ngt
otakeashower
"
sheki
ssedmeonthecheekt
henwaphakama
wahamba
Mom "shei
ssuchasweetgi
rl
,shei
sper
fectf
or
you"
Me"real
l
y?It
houghtLenai
stheoney
ou
t
houghtwasmadeforme"
Mom " wellIcanseethatthetwoofy ouhave
separateli
vesrightnow,besidesKweziisanice
gir
l,wellmanneredandisf r
om agoodf amily.
Shemakesy ouhappydoesntshe? "Ismiled
Me"yesshedoes,t
hisisthel
ongest
r
elat
ionshi
pIhaveeverhadandIlov
eher
"
Mom "
andthat
sallt
hatmatt
erstome
mnt
anam,aslongasyou'
rehappy"
Me" t
hanksmom, youknowy ourblessi
ng
meansev er
ythi
ngt ome"shesmi l
ed"sohav e
youcall
eddad? "Shelookedatthetvast hough
akandi
vaandIj ustknewbanat heyarefi
ghting
"mom?I severy
thingokay?"
Mom "
yes"
Me"
mama!
"
Mom "ever
ythi
ngisfi
neZusi
phe,
yourf
atheri
s
per
fectl
yhappyri
ghtnow"
Me"
whati
sthatsupposedt
omean?
"
Mom "i
tmeansnowt
hatndi
l
apha,
hei
sathi
s
happi
est
"
Me" mom?"Shedidntrepl
y"shouldIcal
l
SakhumziandThabisototel
l t
hem youanddad
arefi
ght
ingsowecanhav ef amil
ymeetingt
o
di
scussthi
s?"
Mom "
NO!
"Shescr
eamedatme
Me"t
hentel
lmewhati
sgoingon!Whyar
eyou
r
eal
l
yhere?"Shet
ookadeepbr
eath
Mom "
yourf
atherhasbeencheat
ingonme"
Me*
shocked*"
WHAT?
!" 
:O 
:O
Mom "Idontknowhowlongit
sbeengoi ngon,
I
'm notsur
eIevenwanttoknow..
.t
hegirli
s
pr
egnantandhewantstomar r
yher.Icant
acceptt
hat
"herey
esbecameshi
nywi
tht
ear
s
Me" mom..
..
"Ipul
l
edheri
ntomyar
msandshe
sobbedsof
tl
y"whendi
dyoufi
ndoutabout
thi
s?"
Mom " amonthago, him want i
ngtomar r
yher
happenedtwoweeksago"awav eofemot ions
sweptthroughme, feel
ingsofhur tandsadness
becausemybel ovedmot herwasinmyar ms
cryi
ng,hurt
ingandhear tbrokenthenIfel
tanger
towardsthebastardmaki nghercr yl
ikethat.
 
Me" howcandaddot
his?It
houghthewas
happy"
Mom "
sodi
dI"shesni
ff
edagai
nstmychest
Me"mamaIam sosor
ry,
Idi
dnotexpectt
hisat
al
l
"
Mom "
shesy
ounger
,inherear
ly30'
s"
Me"
what
?!"
Mom "hewant
sher,t
hebaby
,amarr
iedl
if
e.I
cantt
akeanyoft
his,
Icameher
etel
l
inghi
mI
wantadi
vor
ce"
Me"
mom!
!!
"
Mom " Iwil
lneveracceptomnyeumnt ana
Zusiphe!Andthewor stpar
tisthathedoesnt
evenregretthi
s,hesayshelovesherandhe
agreedtothedivorce"Ipul
l
edherawayf rom
mychestandl ookedather

Me"
mama,
arey
ousur
ethi
siswhaty
ouwant
?"
Mom "nobutIcantl
i
vel
ikethi
s..
.asecondwif
e?
Anot
herchil
d?Whatwil
lpeopl
esay ?Icant
Zusi
phe,Iwont
" 
Me" Ihat
eseei
ngyouli
kethi
s,doesthi
sman
evenknowwhathe'sdoi
ng?Ineedtotel
lTabs
andSakhyaboutt
his"
Mom "
youcant
!"
Me"whynotmama?Wear enotkidsanymore,
youdonthav
etoprotectus.
..
theyneedtoknow
sowecanhelpyouthroughthisi
fyoureal
ly
wantt
hisdi
vor
ce"
Mom "i
tswhatIhavet
odo,Iwouldr
atherbaa
l
aughi
ngstockasadivor
cedwomant hanbe
f
orcedi
ntoapolygamousmarr
iage"
Me" Iunderst
and,well
youhavethesupportof
yourchil
dren.Iwi
llt
ellt
hem mysel
fthenwewill
pickadatesigodukeandtal
kaboutthis"
Mom "okay "shef
inal
l
ysatt henl
eanedonmy
chestagain.Ihat
edseeingmymom hur tandi
t
j
ustfueledmyangert owardsmydadev en
more

Lateron,
whenmymom wasi nherroom,
I
cal
ledmybrother
sandtol
dt hem what
happenedbet
weenourparents
Sakhy"
arey
ouser
iousbr
o?"
Tabs"mamaebet shil
obauzaaphobutI
thoughtitwasjustalit
tl
egetawayv
isi
t.Idi
dnt
knowt hatshestryi
ngtogetawayfr
om our
f
ather
!"
Me"t
hat
showi
tisguy
s,shesay
sshewant
sa
di
vor
ce"
Sakhy"Idontbl
ameher
,it
imerli
bhat
yazil
e
st
rongo.Howcanheeventhinkofmakinghi
s
whoreasecondwif
e?"
Tabs"
thatmani
soutofhi
smi
nd!
"
Me" Iknowbutmeanwhi
leourmotherisher
e
hurt
ingandcryi
ngherey
esout,I
m goinghel
p
herwiththedi
vorce"
Tabs"
whi
chourf
atherhassoeasi
l
yagr
eedt
o"
Me"
it
sunbel
i
evabl
e"
Sakhy"i
treal
lyisbutlookman, whatev
ermom
needs,
wewi l
l bethereforher
.You'r
eright
,we
mustsupportherthroughallt
his"
Me" soIwast hinkingthatweshouldf
indat i
me
convenientforallofusandgohome, discuss
thi
sasaf amil
yandseewher eourassofadad
i
sact uall
yat"
Tabs"Iagr
eewit
hZeus,l
etscheckour
schedul
esandseewhenwewi l
lal
lbefr
ee"
Sakhy"
alr
ight
,let
stal
kaboutt
omor
row"
Me"
okaybr
os,
tal
ktomor
row"
Them "
bye"
Me"
bye"t
henIhungup.

Aft
ertal
kingt omybrother
s,Iwenttothe
bedroom foruyol
ala,
Iwastooupsett oeven
eat,
IwishedIcouldtakemymom' spai n
ndi
yizi
sekum.If oundKwezialr
eadyinbed,
ndakhumbul abanayekaneneshedidntseem
happyaboutmeandLenabei ngfr
iendsagain
Me"hey
,sot
hisi
swher
eyou'
rehi
ding"she
smi
l
edatme
Kwezi"af
termyshower,Iwentt
orej
oinyouin
thel
oungebutyouandy ourmom wer
etalki
ng
aboutsomethi
ngpersonal
"
Me"
soy
ouhear
dhuh?
"Isatont
hebed
Kwezi
"yes,
Ifeel
sobadf
orher
"
Me" sheisnottaki
ngi
twellatal
lbutI
underst
and,itwoul
dbehardformei fyou
broughthomeababyy angaphandl
e,youknow
whatImean? "
Kwezi
"Iknow"shel
ookeddown
Me"
babyar
eyouokay
?"
Kwezi
"yeah,
justt
ir
edt
hat
sal
l
"
Me"Isawy ouwer
eupsetaboutLenaandI
bei
ngfri
endsagai
n" 
Kwezi
"yeahIwasj
ustbei
ngsi
l
ly"
Me"
youdonthav
etof
eel
thr
eat
enedbyher
"
Kwezi
"Idont
,li
keIsai
d,Iwasjustbei
ngsi
ll
y.I
knowyouguysarej
ustfri
endsandyoulov
eme"
Me"exactl
y"Ibentov
ertoki
ssher,
shegaveme
ahal
fsmilebutIcouldal
soseebather
eis
somethi
ngelseinhermind"
nanaareyouokay
?
I
sther
esomet
hingel
sey
ouwantt
otel
lme?
"
Kwezi"
no,j
ustdealwit
hthethi
ngkamama
wakhoandwewi l
ltal
klat
erokay?
"
Me"but.
..
."sheki
ssedmebef
oreIcoul
dfi
nish
t
alki
ng
Kwezi
"okay
?"
Me"
okay
"

Igotupnday aebathroom towashmyf aceand

getreadyforbed.Ifi
nishedupt her estofmy
facewashthenasIwasaboutt ot hrowi ti
nthe
bin,somethi
ngcaughtmyat tention.Ibent
downt otakeitoutofthetrash, Istaredatit
blankly
,apositi
vepregnancyt est 
[
12/
02,
18:
45]Ron:
MyWor
stMi
stake

I
nser
tSev
ent
een
Zer
o..
..
.

Withpregnancyt
esti
nmyhand,
ndaphuma
ebathr
oom andenter
edt
hebedr
oom
Me"
Kwezi
?"
Kwezi
"mm? "Shet
urnedt
ofaceme,
Iwentt
o
si
tonthebed
Me"
whenwer
eyougoi
ngt
otel
lme?
"
Kwezi"tel
lyouwhat?"Ishowedherthetestand
hermout hfel
lwayi
thatha"Imusthave
for
gottentothrowi
tout "shewhi
speredto
hersel
f
Me"whywouldyout
hrowi
toutandnott
ell
me?
"Shelookedupatme
Kwezi"
because..
..
."shepausedandIlookedat
her,
wai
tingforhertocarryon"wespokeabout
thi
sZer
o, y
ousaidy oudidntwantki
ds"
Me"
yet
!Idi
dntdaynev
er"
Kwezi"y
ouspokeaboutgett
ingmarr
iedthen
star
ti
ngafamil
y,yousai
dyou'r
etoofocusedon
yourcar
eerandyou'
renotr
eadytobeaf at
her"
Me" whois?We' r
estil
lyoungokayandclimbi
ng
thecorporatel
adder,t
ryingtomakeaname,
creat
eal egacyforourselv
es,bui
l
dabr i
ght
futur
esot hatourki
dshav ethebestl
i
fe"
Kwezi
"ar
ewet
her
eyet
?"
Me"
no"
Kwezi"yousee?That
swhyIwasscar
edt
otel
l
you"It
ookherhandinmine
Me"itdoesntmat terwhatIsaidinthepast,
what'
simpor tantisthatyou'
repregnantnow
andyoudidntdot hi
saloneokay?"Shenodded
"sowearei nittogether,
pleasedonteverbe
scar
edtot ell
meany thi
ng"shesmi l
ed
Kwezi
"soar
eyousay
ingt
haty
ou'
rer
eady
?"
Me"Idontknowbutwehave9mont hst
oget
our
sel
vesreadyr
ight
?"Shechuckl
ed
Kwezi"
right"Iputmyhandonherbel
l
yandI
j
ustfel
tov er
whelmed,i
nsi
deherwasali
tt
lel
i
fe
gr
owingt hatsheandIhadcr
eat
ed
Me"
I'
m happy
"
Kwezi"
I'
m happytoobaby"shepul
l
edmei
ntoa
hug,
Ibrokeitandki
ssedher

_
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___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___

Lena.
..
.

Iwokeupt henextday ,Jacewasntnextt ome.I

tookashowerandpr eparedforwork.WhenI
wasdoneget t
ingready,Iwenttofi
ndhimi nhis
study,t
hedoorwasopenandhewasf acingthe
windowt al
ki
ngont hephone.Heseemed
agit
atedandannoy edbythepersonont he
othersi
de.Iwat chedhimt al
ki
ngandusi ngalot
ofhandgest ures,t
hemanwasbeaut if
ul,st
rong
andendear i
ngbutt hebestpartabouti twas
thathewasal l
mi ne.Iwasi nl
ov ewi thJaceand
Icouldntdenyi tany mor
e.Whatwasntt hereto
l
ov e?Hewassoki ndhearted,givi
ng, sensiti
ve
andloving,heseemedhar shtot her estoft he
wor l
dbutwi thmehebecamet hi
sbi gsof t
ie,
whocar edformel ikeIwasal itt
lechild.The
ghostsofhi schildhoodsti
llhaunt edhim buthe
waswor ki
ngoni t,formybenef it
.

Het
urnedar
oundandsmi
l
edwhenhesawme
Jace"Iwil
ltal
ktoyouwhenIgett
owork,j
ust
fi
xit"hecutthecal
lthencal
l
edmeov
er.I
walkedtohim andheheldmebyt
hewaistand
ki
ssedme.Ibr okei
t
Me"
isev
ery
thi
ngokay
?"
Jace"
it
sjustworkst
uff
"hekissedmeagain,
hi
shandsmov i
ngtomyassandsqueezingit
.
Mybodyrespondedt
ohimimmedi at
ely
,my
i
nnergoddesscl
appi
ngherhandsandbeaming
atmeexci
tedl
y
Me" Jace"Isai dbr eathlessyandhepushedme
towardst hedesk.Hedi dreply,hejustpopped
all
mybut tonsandpul ledmybl ouseapar t
,
exposi ngmybr andnewt empt ati
onslingerie.
Heliftedmeupbymywai standsetmeont he
desk.Hi kingupmyski r
tandpul l
i
ngdownmy
panti
es.Ev erythingwasmov i
ngsof ast,my
headwasi ndaze, mybodyonf ir
eandi twas
l
ikeI'
m hav inganoutofbodyexper ience.He
part
edmyl egst henpul l
edmecl osertohim.I
fel
titgoi n,Igaspedandhi smout hmetmi ne,
weki ssedhungr il
yashet hrustedhimselfinand
outmel ikeahungr ycannibal.Iheldont othe
desksoIcoul dkeepmybal ancebuthel aidme
downont hedesk

Wit
hever
ylong,
hardanddeepthr
ustinsi
deme,
mybodymadeli
ttl
econvul
si
onsandIknewt hat
Iwasbui
l
dinguptoacli
max.AsIlai
dont he
desk,Iturnedmyheadt ot hedoor ,i
twasopen
butIdidntcareaboutany onewhosawus, I
cl
osedmyey esandgotl ostinthemoment .
Jacepickedupt hepace,Ihel dbothhisarms
ti
ghtl
y,mybodyst if
fenedt henIr el
eased
every
thingwi t
haloudmoan, afterasecond, he
shothisloaddeepinsidemet oo.Goodt hi
ng
wehadt hosemedicalexamsandIwasont he
pil
lorthatwouldhavebeent heul t
imatebaby
makingmoment .

Welai
dtheref
oraminut
e,cat
chi
ngourbr
eat
h
asourhear
tbeat
sgr
aduall
ysl
oweddownto
nor
mal.

Aft
ert
hatheli
ft
edmeofft
hedeskandIpul
led
upmypanti
esthenher
ebutt
onedmyshir
tfor
me
Jace"
doy ouknowhowhappyIam t
ohav
eyou
i
nmylife?
"Ismiled
Me"It
hinky
oujustshowedme"hebentdown
andki
ssedme
Jace"
wel
lIhav
ealwaysbel
i
evedthatact
ions
havemor
emeaningt
hanwords"
Me"t
heydo :)
 .
..
soar
eyousur
ethat
ev
ery
thi
ngisokay?"
Jace"y
es,
iti
sjustwor
kst
uff
,Ihav
emypeopl
e
onit
"
Me"
okay
"
Jace"
youshoul
dgetgoi
ng,
Oli
verwi
l
ltakey
ou"
Me"
it
sokay
,Icamewi
thmycarr
emember
?"
Jace"ofcourse"hepeckedmeontheli
psthen
sentmeof f
.Ileftt
hehousefeel
i
nghappy,
li
ght
andli
berat
ed

_
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___

Zer
o..
..
Iwokeupt henextday ,Kwezi wasst i
llf
ast
asleepnextt ome.Itookami nut ej
ustt olook
ather ,manshewasbeaut if
ul andIsuppose
shel ookedev enmorebeaut if
ul wit
hmychi ld
growi nginsideher.Thepr egnancyf eltl
ikea
signt hatIwasi ntherightplace, ev
enbef ore
Lenacamei ntomylife,Iwasskept icalabout
settl
ingdownbutnowIwasev enmor esur e
thanany thingbaKwezi wast heonef orme, we
wer estarti
ngaf ami
lyandIhadt odor i
ghtby
her,ndihlawul eumntanam andt heninduet i
me,
mar ryhersoshecanbemi nengendl elaeright

Igotoutofbedt omakeafull
breakf
astfor
ever
yone, Iwassohappy 
:) 
butatthesame
ti
meIwaswor ri
edIwasworri
edaboutmy
mother,shewasstil
lver
yupsetaboutmydad,I
wasstil
linshockthathewoul
ddosucha
thi
ng 
- _-
Mymom cameoutwhi
l
eIwasst
il
lmaki
ng
br
eakf
ast
Mom "somethingsmel
l
sgr
eat
"shesatont
he
ki
tchencounter
Me"wel
lIt
houghtIshoul
dtreatmyfav
orit
e
l
adi
estoaful
lbreakf
astt
hisSundaymorning"
Mom "that
sver
yniceofy
ou"sheseemeddown,
l
ikesheahadalotmindandi
twasweighi
ng
herdown
Me"mom?Arey
ouokay
?"Shel
ookedupand
smi
l
edfai
ntl
y
Mom "
yes"
Me" IspoketoTabsandSakhylastni
ght,
we
areveryupsetwit
hhim andwearegoingto
haveaf amil
ymeetingsoon,meetthi
swoman
hewant stomarrysobadly"
Mom "
Zusi
phe.
..
.It
oldy
ounott
ogeti
nvol
ved"
Me" i
fitsaboutyou,thenIam invol
ved.Dad
cantjustdothi
st oyouandexpectust osit
downanddonot hing!
"Wathulaakaphendul
a
becausesheknewt hatIwasspeakingthetr
uth.
Imadehercof feewhi l
eIfi
nishedupwith
breakfast
.

Ugqibakwam Iwentbacktothebedr
oom t
o
wakemygor geousbabymamaup.Shewasst i
l
l
fastasl
eep,
Iwalkedtothebedandgent
lywoke
herup
Me"baby.
..
."Ishookhersli
ghtl
yandshewoke
up,l
ookedatmeandsmi led"Imadebreakf
ast
,
youshoul
dcomeeat "
Kwezi"r
eal
l
y?You?Youmadebr
eakf
ast
?"I
chuckl
ed
Me"
Ireal
l
ydi
d,sol
etsgett
het
woofy
ouf
ed"
Kwezi"
mm thetwoofusne?"Shwputher
handsonherbel
l
y"Il
i
kethesoundofthat
"nam
ndabekaesam
Me"Il
oveitt
ooandIloveyou"Il
eanedoverfor
aki
ssthenpull
edheroutofbed"
goeat,Iwil
l
makethebedsolong"
Kwezi "
what ?WowIshoul dhav efall
en
pregnantalongtimeagomos"Il aughed,she
tookourhergownway i
nxibathenl ef
ttheroom.
Imadet hebedandt idiedupt heroom ogqiba
ndayaekitchen.Mymom andKwezi were
engagedinconv er
sation,shewassmi l
i
ngandI
washappymygi rl
fr
iend,babymamaand
eventual
lywifehadthatef fectonher
Me"
enj
oyi
ngy
ourmeal
ladi
es?
"
Kwezi
"somuchbaby
,it
samazi
ng"
Mom "
your
eal
l
yout
didy
our
sel
f"
Me"wel
lIt
ry 
:) 
"Isatdownandatebreakf
ast
wi
thmyfamil
ythenwhenwewer edone,we
pr
epar
edtogotochurch
_
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___

Lena.
..
.

Af ewday spassedbyandmyl i
fewasbet ter
thanIi maginedevent houghImi ssedmy
parentsandl i
tt
lrsi
ster :( 
theplanwast ogo
andv isi
tthem foraweekendorsomet hing,
mont hshadpassedbyndi hlel
ieCapeTown, but
Ihadntf oundtheti
met ogoandv i
sitt
hem even
thoughwespokeal lthetimeov erthephone.

Anywaybacktomyamazi ngl
if
e,abuddi
ng
busi
ness,amazi
ngfr
iendsandanevenmor e
amazingboyf
ri
end,
whatmor ecoul
dagirlask
for
?!

IhadntseenuZusiphesi
ncet
hedaywemetat
hi
splaceandtalkedthr
oughouri
ssues,
Ihad
honest l
yforgivenhi m andwespokeaf ew
ti
mesov erthephone, j
ustaf ewchecki ngin
texts.Soonet imeIwasatt heusual cafewhere
wegetoutl unchneboy s.Iknow, itsabi t
strangethatthebossi stheonewhor unsout
buy i
nglunchbuti tgiv
esmet imet ot alkawalk
andj uststr
etchmyl egs.AsIwasst andingat
thecount erputtinginmyor der ,IsawuZusi phe
sit
tingalonewi thal otofpaper wor konhi stabl
e.
Ifi
nishedor deringthenwal kedov ertohim
Me"wor
kinghar
dIsee?
"Hel
ookedupand
smi
l
ed
Z"
youhav
enoi
dea,
butIam j
ustpacki
ngup"
Me"
youhadameet
ing?
"
Z"
yeah,
hav
easi
t,dr
inksomet
hingwi
thme"
Me"sur
e"Isatdownwi t
hnohesi
tat
ions"
I
cameheret
oor dert
akeout
s"
Z"
oh!
"Heseemeddi
sappoi
nted
Me"
butIcanhav
eami
mosa"
Z"
daydr
inki
ng,
Ili
kei
t!
"Il
aughed
Me"
sowhatwasy
ourmeet
ingabout
?"
Z"ughj
ustbasi
clawy
erst
uff
,Idontwannabor
e
you"
Me" youwont ,comeon, tellme"het ookadeep
breaththenstartedtalki
ngabouthi swork.I
wassmi li
nglikeani di
ot,li
steningt ohimtalk,
he
wasv erypassionateabouthi sjobandsomuch
l
ifecamei ntohim ashet alked, i
tremindedof
allt
hoseday swhenwewoul dj ustlieonmybed
andtalk,tal
k,tal
kunt i
lwef ellasleep.Imissed
that,
ImeanDel ukaandNi koar egr eatand
everyt
hingbutIj ustcoul
dnev erseem tohav e
whatIhadwi thZnomny eumnt u.Hewasmy
oneinami l
l
ion
Me"
wow,
soundsl
i
keat
oughone"
Z"yeahyouwoul dbesurpri
sedathowmany
peoplewal
kt hroughmydoorwantingadi
vor
ce,
havi
nglegalproblems.
..
theworks!
"
Me" di
vorcesarescaryne?Imeanitsj
ustso
hardtounderstandhowt wopeopl
ewhowant s
l
ov edeachothersomuch, woul
dhurteach
othersobadly"

Z"Iknow"t
hehelookeddownast
houghwhatI
j
ustsaidhi
thomeinsomeway
Me"
Z,ar
eyouokay
?"Hel
ookedup
Z"wow, Ihaventheardy
oucall
met hatiny
ears,
i
nf actIdi
dntthinkyouwoul
devercall
met hat
again"
Me"wel
l t
hingsaredi
ff
erentnow,
we'
rebackt
o
bei
ngfr
iendsright
?"
Z"
ri
ght
"
Me"
sot
ell
me,
what
swr
ong?
"
Z"
mypar
ent
sar
eget
ti
ngadi
vor
cet
oo"
 
Me*
shocked*"
What
 :
O :
O ?
!Why
?!"
Z"
myf
athercheat
ed,
gotsomeoneel
se
pr
egnantnowhewant st
omar
ryherbutmy
mom cantaccepti
t"
Me"ohno!Ifeel
sobadf
ormom kengoku!She
mustbehurt
ing"
Z"sheis,
someti
mesIhearhercry
ingalonei
n
herroom"myheartbrokei
nhal
fandtears
well
edupinmyey es
Me" howcouldy
ourdaddot
his?I
shesur
e
aboutthi
s?"
Z"Ihav
entspokent
ohi
my etbutt
hisweekend
wearegoi
nghome,mybrother
sandIwil
ltal
k
t
ohim"
Me"
thi
sist
err
ibl
e"
Z"Lenapl
ease,i
tsgoi
ngtobeokay"hetookmy
handandrubbedit
,Il
ookedathi
m andbli
nked
backthet
ears
Me"
yho!Idontknowwhatt
osay
"
Z"
It
sokay
,Iwi
l
lfi
xthi
s"
Me"fi
xithow?Helpmom getoutoft
his?Idont
wanthertohur
tanymor
e"
Z"ofcour
se,
Iwi
llhel
pherwi
tht
hedi
vor
ce"I
br
eathedasi
ghofrel
i
ef
Me"
oh!t
hat
sbet
ter
"
Z"
your
eal
l
ycar
eaboutmymom ne?
"Inodded
Me" sheist
ome,themom Ial
wayswantedand
needed.DoyouknowhowbadlyIwantedtocal
l
hertheti
meIwasabroad?Somanytimes,i
cri
edmy sel
ftosl
eepandwant
edtotalktoher"
Z"Iknowhowyoufeel
Lenaandmay
bey
ou
shoul
dbether
etoo"
Me"
bewher
e?"
Z" comewithustoP.Esowecansupporther
"I
thoughtabouti
tforawhil
e,Iwant
edtobewit
h
herandsupportherthr
oughherpai
n
Me"
wel
lIwoul
dlov
eto"
Z"
great
?Wewi
l
ltal
kdet
ail
slat
er"Ismi
l
ed
Me"
Iwi
l
lseey
out
hen,
Ihav
etogo"
Z"Al
ri
ght
"Ist
oodupndat
hat
hamyor
derand
l
eft

Lat
eron, Oli
vercamet opickmeupf rom work
andwedr oveov ertoJace'
splace.Hewasnt
homey etsoitwasgoi ngtobej ustme.He
pul
ledupi nfrontofthehouse,Iwenti nand
wasmetatt hedoorbySof i
a,whot ookmybag
andjacketfr
om me
Sof
ia"mi
ssSeptember
,MrDelawareseemsto
hav
eav i
sit
or,
wetri
edtot
ell
himt oleav
ebuthe
wont"
Me"
oh?Wher
eishe?
"
Sof
ia"
int
hel
i
vingr
oom"
Me" t
hanksSof ia"Ismil
edpoli
telyathert
hen
ndayaelounget oseethisv
isit
orkaJace.I
walkedi
ntot heloungeandont hecouchwasa
ol
dwhi t
eman, Iclear
edmyt hroatandhe
tur
nedtolookatme,hehadahar dlookingface,
heworelongfadedj
eans,tshi
rtandal eat
her
j
acket
Me"
hel
l
o?"
Hi
m"andwhoar
eyou?
"Heaskedme
Me"
Iam Lena,
Jace'
sgi
rl
fr
iend.Whoar
eyou?
"
Him" Ri
chardBanks,
Jace'sfat
her"mymout h
fel
lopen,Iwastoostunnedtospeak.Jace
neverspokeabouthisfat
herandIdidntthi
nk
heevenknewhi sfat
her..
..
..
[
12/
02,
18:
46]Ron:
MyWor
stMi
stake

I
nser
tEi
ght
een

Lena.
..
..
.

Jacecameback,t
hemanwhoclai
medtobehis
fat
herandIwer
esitt
edi
nthel
oungei
nsil
ence.
Ihear
dhim speaki
ngt
oSofi
aandshetol
dhi
m
aboutt
heman.Iheardhi
m comingt
owar
dsthe
l
ounge,Ist
oodupasheentered
Jace"
babe"hel
ookedatRi
char
dBanks
Me"
Jace.
..
hey
"Ical
l
edhi
m ov
ert
ome
Jace"i
sever
ythi
ngokay
?"Hesai
d,put
ti
nghi
s
arm ar
oundme
Me" uhthi
sisRi
char
dBanks"themanst oodup
andextendedhi
shandbutJacejustl
ookedati
t
thenbackatme
Jace"
Richar
dBanks?
"
Me"yes,hesaysthatuh.
..
hesayshesyour..
..
."
t
hewor dscoul
dntcomeout ,
may bebecauseI
wasntsurei
fIshouldbetheonetell
i
nghim : -
/
Richard"I
'myourfather
"hesai
dandmybody
sti
ffenedasIlookedatJacehol
dingmybreat
h.
Jace'seyeswidenedandhescannedtheman
fr
om headt otoe
Jace"
What
?"
Richard"Isai
dIam y ourf
ather"hesai
d
confidentl
yandInot i
cedIwasntbreat
hingbutI
couldntstopholdingmybreath.Icoul
dntread
Jace'sfaceatall
,itwashardtoseewhathe
wasf eeli
ngorthinki
ng.Heletoutasli
ghtlaugh
Jace"fat
heryousay
?Howi sthatpossi
ble
becausetheonl
yfat
herIhaveeverknowndied
5yearsago"
Ri
chard"Iam y
ourbi
ologi
cal
fat
her
,Iknewy
our
motherEmeli
a"
Jace"
so?
"
Richar
d"Jace,
Icameal
lthewayher
etosee
you"
Jace"
your28y ear
stoolateol
dman.Idont
knowanyRichardBanks,Iwasnev
ert
oldabout
anyRi
chardBanks,so.
..
..
"
Ri
char
d"Icamesowecant
alk"
Jace"
aboutwhatexact
ly?Youwantt
o
apologizefornotbeinginmyl i
fe?Fornotbeing
dad?Forl ett
ingmywhor eofamot herrai
se
me? "Ifel
tIshouldgivethem somepr iv
acysoI
start
edt oleavebutJacegrabbedmyar m and
heldmei npl ace"whatdoyouwant ?Yousaw
meont henews, onabill
board?FoundoutI
havemoneyandnowsuddenl yy ouwanttobe
myf ather?"
Ri
char
d"Jace,
Icanexpl
ainever
ythi
ng.Just
gi
vemesomet i
metoexplai
n"
Jace"getout !
"Hesai di nalowbutsternand
fi
rmv oice.Hisfathertookastepclosertohim
butJacest oodupst r
aight
,char
gingtheair
aroundhi mtell
ingthemannott omov eone
mor ei
nch, hetookast epback"ifit
smoneyy ou
want,leaveyourdet ai
lswithOli
ver,
Iwillwri
te
youacheck"
Richar
d"Ja.
..
."het
ight
enedhi
sgr i
paroundmy
wristt
henpul
ledmeoutoftheloungesaya
upstai
rs
Jace"thener
veoft
hatman!Howdarehe?!
"He
fi
nall
ysaidwhenwewerei
nthepr
ivacyofhi
s
study
Me" youshoul
dhaveatl
eastgi
venhi
ma
chancetoexpl
ainhi
msel
f"
Jace"
whythef
uckwouldIdot
hatLena?
!"He
wasangr
yanditst
art
ledme
Me"
becausehesy
ourf
ather
"
Jace"ar
ey ousay
ingy
ouwoul
ddot
hesamef
or
yourmother?"
Me"thi
sisnotaboutme,i
tsaboutt
hatman
downst
air
s,he'
syourdad"
Jace"he'sarapi
st!Thatswhathei
s!!
"Iopened
mymout hbutshuti
tagainasmymi nd
processedwhathej ustsai
d
Me"
ra-
rapi
st?Whatdoy
oumean?
"
Jace"
Iam ar
esul
tofr
apeLena,
hewasan
ol
derguywhot ookadv antageofmymot her
okay?Shewasr apedbyt hatasshol
e,castout
byherfamil
ywhenshewaspr egnantwithme!
Herapedherandl eftherpregnant
,Iknowt he
wholestor
y!"If
loppedont hechairnexttome,
al
lthi
swassoov erwhelmingandal ottotakein
Me"
what
?" 
Jace" t
hatswhymymot herwassof uckedup!
Shewasawhor eanddr uggie....
becauseofhi m,
Iendedupwi thacr appymot herwhol etsome
oldfuckedupshi tofamanabusemet henshe
l
eftme!Becauseofhi m, Ihav ebecomet his
fuckedupshel lofaman! "Ist oodup
ndasondelakuy ebuthemov edbackbutIdi dnt
giveup,Iwr appedmyar msar oundhi m and
squeezedhi mt i
ght ,hewasr eluctantatf i
rstbut
eventuall
yhehel dmet oo.If eltsomuchpai nin
myhear tforhim, thi
sbeaut i
ful,strongman. .
.he
washur ti
ngsomuch, dealingwi tht heghost sof
hispainfulpast.Ilovedhi m somuchandI
wantedt otakehi spainaway . 
Me"Il
oveyouJace"If
elthi
sbodyst
if
fenandI
knewhewasshockedtoheart
hosewords

Hepul
l
edmebackandl
ookedr
ighti
ntomy
ey
es
Jace"howcany
oul
ovesomeonel
i
keme
Lena?
"
Me" howcanInot ?You'ret hemostamazi ng
manIhav eevermet ,you'recompassi onate,you
careaboutheal ingandhel pingt hechil
drenof
thi
swor l
d.You' resol oving, soaf f
ecti
onate,
attentiv
e, sensit
ive,y outakecar eofeveryone
aroundy ou.Jace, youhadat oughchildhood
buty oudi dntletthatdef iney ou,inst
eady ou
builtanempi r
ef ory ourself,alegacy..
..
Icould
goonal lnightJace. ..
.Il
ov ey ou"hiseyes
gli
mmer edwi tht ears,hepul ledmei ntohis
armsagai nandnuzzl edagai nstmyhead" Ilove
youandIwi l
ltellyout hatev erydayifyouneed
met oo.You'renotahol lowmanJace, youhav e
abigheartandthatst
hemostat t
racti
vethi
ng
aboutyou"hesnif
fedagainstmyhairand
ki
ssedmyhead, Ilett
hetearsfal
landhel
dhim
ti
ghter

_
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___
___
___
___
___
___

Zer
o..
..

Onmydrivehomeaft
erwork,Igotacallf
rom
someoneIdi
dnotexpectatal
landIdidntreal
l
y
wantt
otalktohi
m ei
ther
Me"
dad"
Dad"
Zusi
phe,
unj
ani
mnt
anam?
"
Me"
I'
mfi
nedad,
howar
eyou?
"
Dad"
I'
m good,
arey
ouwi
thy
ourmot
her
?"
Me"
no,
why
?"
Dad"Ir
eal
l
yneedt
otal
ktoheraboutcomi
ng
home"
Me" why?Soshecancomest
aywi
thy
ouand
yourbabymama?"
Dad"
ohsoshet
oldy
ou"
Me"shebar
elycoul
dfrom al
lthecr
ying,
Dad
howcoul
dyoudot hi
s?"
Dad"If
ell
inl
ovewi
thsomeoneandnowwe
st
art
inganewfami
l
y,phof
uwear eexpandi
ng"
Me"expandi
ng?Ar eyouev
enli
steni
ngto
your
self
?You'r
ewi l
li
ngtot
hrowaway35y ear
s
ofmarri
ageforthi
sgirl
?Whoisasoldasyour
marri
agekenalapho!"
Dad"Zusi
phe,youdontknowwhatyou'
re
t
alki
ngabout.Thi
sisgrownupstuf
f"
Me"Iknowexactl
ywhatIam t
alki
ngabout.
Whenmymot hercri
estomeallni
ghtbecause
ofy
out heni
tismystuf
ftoo!
"
Dad"
yourmom i
sjusthur
ti
ngr
ightnow,
shewi
l
l
comear
ound"
Me"noshewontdad,
Iam goi
ngt
ohel
pmom
wi
ththedi
vor
ce"
Dad"
what
?!Whywoul
dyoudot
hat
?"
Me"
whyar
eyousoshocked,
didnty
ouagr
ee?
"
Dad"
yesbut
..
..
"
Me" nobutsokaydad,
thisweekendIwi llbe
cominghomewi thmom.Wecant alk
then.
..
bye"Ihungupbeforehesayanot her
word.Jeezthemanhassomener v ethough -
_-

Ndaf
ikaendl
i
niandmymom washar
datwor
k
i
nthekit
chen
Me"
heymom"
Mom "
heybaby
,howwasy
ourday
?"
Me"
itwasf
rui
tf
ul,
howwasy
our
s?"
Mom "
itwasgood,
Kwezi
tookmet
oherj
ob
t
oday
.Itmademeki
ndofemot
ional
"
Me"
why
?"
Mom "weddi
ngrings,engagementr
ings.
..
buti
t
wasagoodday ,
Iev enmetherboss.Shesays
hesdati
ngLena"
Me"yeah,
theyhav
ebeent
oget
herf
orawhi
l
e
now"
Mom " wayt ogoLena!Shemanagedt ogr ab
thathandsomemi ll
ionareboy !Wel
lIguessit
makessense, moneyat tractsmoneybecause
ourLenai snotnewt oriches"Ismi
ledfaintl
y,
forsomer eason,Ma'swor dsdidnotsitwell
withme.Whydi dIfeelsouneasyaboutLena
dati
ngt hatguy ?Ishruggedmyshoul dersas
wellast hethought
Me"speaki
ngofsi
gni
fi
cantot
her
s,wher
eis
mi
ne?"
Mom "i
nthebedr
oom, l
yi
ngdown.Shesur
e
doesgett
ir
edalotl
atel
y"Ismi
l
ed
Me"shedoeshav
eaprett
yti
ri
ngjob"mymom
l
aughedandsodi
dI"
I'
llgocheckuponher
"
Mom "
okaymntanam,gi
vemeonemor
ehour
t
hensupperwi
l
lbeready"
Me"okaymama"Ihungmycarkey
sndathat
ha
mybagfrom t
hechai
rnday
aebedr
oom y
ethu

Kweziwasnakedukungenakwam, withjusther
pant
ieslooki
ngatherselfi
nthemir
ror,
smi l
ing
whil
erubbingherbel
ly.Ismil
edt
oo,imagini
ng
herwit
habi gbel
lyasourbabygrewinsideher
Me"you'
regoingtobethesexi
estmot
heri
nthe
ent
ir
euniver
se"shetur
nedtofaceme
Kwezi
*smi
l
ing*"
yout
hinkso?
"
Me"Iknowit
"Iwalkedi
nnday
akuy
e,Ipul
l
edher
byt
hewaistcl
osertome
Kwezi"Ihopeyoust
il
lfeel
thatwaywhenIam
fatandwithabodyf
il
ledwithst
ret
chmarks"
Me" nomat t
erwhat,youwill
alwaysbebeaut
if
ul
tomenomat terwhat"shestoodonhert
oes
andkissedme, myhandsmov eddowntoher
assandIsqueezedi t
,pressi
ngheragai
nstmy
growingerect
ion
Kwezi"haybaby
,mamawi
l
lcomei
nany
minut
e"
Me"wehaveanhour,t
hatsalotoft
ime.I
want
edtotakeashoweranyway :
) "she
gi
ggl
edl
ikeanaughtyschoolgi
rl
.

Ipulledheri nt
othebat hroom,sheent eredt he
showerwav ul
aamanzi whi l
eItookof fmy
clothes.WhenIwasdone, Iwenttojoi nheri n
theshower .Westartedbysoapi ngeachot her
down, hersli
pper
ysoapyhandsmov ingsl owly
upanddownmybody ,ourli
psnotleav ingeach
other's.Ipushedhert owardsthewal l
, mov ing
myhandt ohercl
itandr ubbingiti
nslow
circularmov ements.Shemoanedi nsidemy
mout handmyerecti
onhardened, shewaswent
enoughformeandIwasr eadyt oent erher,I
tur
nedhertofacethewall
, herpalmsf l
at
againstt
hewall
.Igrabbdherwai standpul l
ed
hertowardsmethenenteredhersl owly,she
gaspedandarchedherback.

Ithrustinandoutofher , i
nslowel ongated
mov ement s, myey esclosedshut ,j
ustget t
ing
l
osti nthemoment ,gett
inglostinsideher.Her
moansbecamel ouderandIpi ckedupt hepace,
fuckingherhar dandmaki ngherscr eam outmy
namei npleasur e.Ireachedov ertoherf ront
andf rant
ical l
yrubbedhercl i
tcausinghert o
haveheror gasm andIf oll
owedsoonaf t
erher.
Shel eanedagai nstt hewal landIleanedonher ,
tryi
ngt ocat chourbr eat
hs

_
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
Lena.
..
.

Theweekwascomi ngt oaslowendandI

promiseduZt hatI '
dgobackwi thhimt oP.Eso
wecoul dfi
nallyfixthet hi
ngwi thhisparent
s.I
wassodi sappoint edinhisfatherforhurti
ng
mom l ikethatandt obehonest ,Iwantedhert o
geroutoft hatplaceandev enthoughitwould
behar d,Iwant edhert ostar
tov erwit
hanew
l
ife.Iwant edtogot oP. EbutIwasal sowor r
ied
aboutJace, hecompl etel
yrefusedtotalkor
evenseehi sfather .

OnThursday,ZandIhadal r
eadyconfi
rmedour
weekendplansev ent houghIwasr el
uctantto
l
eavebutJacet alkedmei nt
oitwabesi t
hinaye
uyaonabusi nesst r
ipforiweekendsoIhadno
choi
cebuttol eavenam  : -
/ 
.AnywayIwasi n
theshopwithNi ko,Lukawasathomebecause
hewasntfeelingwel l
.Iwashelpingay oung
l
adywit
hthedesi
gnf
orhermatr
icdancedr
ess
whenRi
char
dBankswal
kedint
omyshop
Ri
char
d"mi
ssSept
ember
"Il
ookedathi
m
Me"
yes"
Ri
char
d"mayIhav
eamoment
?"Il
ookedat
Ni
ko
Ni
ko"i
tsokaydol
l
face,
Iwi
l
ltakei
tfr
om her
eso
l
ong"
Me" okay,f
ollowme"ndaji
kaandl edt
hewayto
thebackoffice.Hegotinandclosedt
hedoor,I
thoughtaboutwhatJacesaidabouthimrapi
ng
hismom, Ifeltali
tt
lescar
edthatIwasal
onein
aclosedofficewitharapi
st

Richar
d"Iam sur
ethatmysonhashadpl
ent
y
tosayaboutmer i
ght
?"
Me"son?Howcansuchawor
dev
encomeout
ofy
ourmouth?
"
Ri
char
d"Iknowt
hatIam amonst
eri
nhi
sey
es"
Me"
wit
hgoodr
eason"
Ri
char
d"Imadeami
stake"
Me"
howcany
oumi
stakenowi
thy
es?
"
Richar
d" Iwasadi ff
erentmanbackt hen,I
thought
...Il
ivedli
kethewor l
dowedme
somethingandJace' smot her,
shedidntwant
meandIwant edher.
...
keptpl
ayinghardtoget,
i
tangeredmesomuch. .
.t
hehelp'sdaughter
didntwantme!I tangeredmet hatshet hought
shewasbet tert
hanmey etshewasnot hingbut
thedaught erofamai d"
Me"sowhat?Your
apeher
,impr
egnat
ehert
hen
l
eav
eher?"
Ri
chard"
ittookmey ear
stofor
giv
emy sel
ffor
whatIdi
d..
.evenl
ongertor
eali
sewhatIdi
dwas
i
nhuman"
Me"
whatdoy
ouwantf
rom meMrBanks"
Ri
char
d"Iwantt
omaket
hingsr
ightwi
thmy
son,Iwanttot
ellhi
m howsorryIam...
Iam t
old
thatyouarehi
sgirl
fr
iendandheli
stenstoyou
mor ethanhel
ist
enstohimsel
f,pl
easetalkto
him"
Me"
Icantdot
hat
"
Ri
char
d"whynot
?Pl
easehel
pme.
..
."
Me"
itwoul
dmakemeahy
pocr
it
eMrBanks"
Ri
char
d"what
?"
Me" i
fthewomanwhoabandonedmeatbi rt
h
suddenl yshowedupatmydoor step,want ingto
talk,want i
ngt oexplain,beggingf or
forgiveness...I
 wouldntgivehert heti
meofday
eithersoIcantadv i
seJacet odosomet hing
thatImy selfwoul dneverdo!YouseemrBanks,
thepr oblem wi ththeli
kesofy oui sthaty ou
makeamesst henleaveittosomeoneel seto
cleanup, younev erunderstandtheef fectithas
onachi l
dt obeabandonedbyapar ent.Youl i
ve
yourwhol elifesecondguessi ngy ourself,
feeli
ngl i
key ouarenotenoughandl i
key ouar e
notwor thyoflov e.Becauseofwhaty oudid,My
Jacei sabr okenman, hehasl ivedwithsel f
l
oat hingforalmostal lhisli
feandnowhei s
fi
nallyont heroadt oheal ,t
osel facceptance
andknowi ngthathei smor et hanenoughandi s
wor thyoflove..
.Iwontj eapordisehishealing
process, Jacewi ll
seeandt al
kt oyouwhenhe
i
sr eady "ndamdl ulaemny angoandwal ked
out...
.

_
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___

Zer
o..
..
.

Theweekendf inall
ycame,Lena, mymotherand
Ifl
ewt oP.Ewher ewemetmybr other
satthe
ai
rport.Ii
ntr
oducedt hem t
oLenaandt hey
couldntst
opst ar
ingather,Ifel
tapangof
j
ealousythattheywer el
ookingherli
kethat
,
worsekeyenauSakhumziismarr
ied -_-
 .
Kwezidecidednottocomewithusev ent
hough
Icoul
dseet hatshe'
snotcomfor
tablewit
hLena
comingtoobutsheshruggedi
toff,shewasthe
onecarr
yingmybabyaf t
eral
l 
:)

Wedecidedtohavelunchatanearby
r
est
uarant,j
ustt
alki
ngandcatchi
ngup
Tabz"
soLena,
ifyou'
renotwi
thmybrot
her
her
earey
ouseeingsomeonethen?
"
Mom "ofcour
sesheis,y
outhi
nkthatbynow,
noonehassnatchedupourbeaut
if
ulLena?She
i
sdati
ngJaceDelaware"
Sk"
asi
nDel
awar
eJewel
l
ery
?"
Mom "
yes"
Tabz"
yho!I
snthel
i
keabi
l
li
onar
eor
somet
hing?
"
Mom "Lenai
sver
ylucky
"shesmi
l
edshy
lyandI
chuckl
ed
Tabz"
wow!AndI
'
mjustasi
mpl
ecar
dio
sur
geon"
Lena"asi
mpl
ecar
diosur
geon?Howcansav
ing
l
ivesbesi
mpl
e"
Tabz"compar
edtothebil
l
ionsyourmanmakes?
Andtheendl
esschari
ti
eshesupport
s?"
Me" dontcompareyourselftoDelawareTabz,
youwi l
ldr
iveyour
selfcrazy"welaughed.Aft
er
sigqi
beukutya,mybrothersandIpaidthebil
l
thensahamba

Wearriv
edatthehouse,biggestshockofour
l
iv
esxasi f
ikaut
ataehl
eliwithhispregnant
mist
ressinthel
ounge.
Sakhy"soi
sthi
swhatyouwantedmom to
comehomet o?Baafi
keaphauhl
eli
wit
hthis
thi
ng?"Mydadjumpedtohi
sfeet
,mom stood
ther
etoohurtt
ospeak
Me"
real
l
ydad?I
sthi
showy
out
reaty
ourwi
fe?
Bybringi
ngsomest
rangewomani
ntoher
house?"
Tabz"
yet
imeruy
aci
nganj
ekakuhl
e?"
Dad"Madlamini
..
..
."hesaidtomymom "
please,
canwejusttal
kaboutthis?"
Me"tal
kaboutwhat?Youwanttomarr
yher
andi
thi
?Thenleav
emymot heroutoft
his!
"
Mom " tatakaZusiphe,Iam onl
yherebecause
thekidst houghti
twouldbebesti fwetalkedas
afami l
ybutf orme, t
hereisnothi
ngmor etosay.
Iwillneveracceptthi
ssituat
ionosif
akekuy o,
youwi llnevert
akeasecondwi femna
ndisaphila"
Dad"
Madl
ami
ni.
..
."
Mom "I
'm done.
..
..
"andIjustknewbashe
wasntgoi
ngt osayanyt
hingelse,
wavel
e
wahambanj eandLenafoll
owedher

Dad"
boy
s,Inev
ermeantf
oranyoft
his"
Sk"dontbull
shi
tusoldman, youhadanaf f
air
,
yougotthewhorepregnantandnowy oust
and
ther
esayingyounevermeantf oranyofthi
s?
Whatthehelldi
dyouthinkwasgoi ngto
happen?"
Dad"donty
oudar ecal
lhert
hat
!Sheisgoi
ngt
o
beyourmother
!"Savel
esahl
ekasonke
Me"mot
her
?Andwhenwouldshehav
egi
ven
bi
rt
htome?Whenshewas6?"
Sk"whataboutme?CosI
'
m sur
ewe'
ret
he
sameage"
Dad"
boy
s..
..
."
Me"youseethat
st hemistakey
oukeepmaking
dad,
wear emen..
.notboys!Wecameheret
o
addr
essthisasafamily
,sheshoul
dli
ve"
Dad"
shei
spar
toft
hef
ami
l
ytoo"
Tabz"
yourf
amil
y,notours!Ihopey
oudont
thi
nkwewil
lbeanypartofthis"
Sk"
thi
sismadness!
"
Me" youhurtourmot herfort hi
s?Ngaf ika
ayi
ngowakhonal omnt ana!"Igav eonel ookat
hi
sbabymama, shewasqui etthewhol eti
me,
shewasal r
eadyshowi ng...
may be 5or6
monthssabashiy aaphoandal lret
reatedto
Sakhy'sr
oom sinceitwast hebiggest.Mama
wayesaziv
aleleekamer eniyakhonoLena, for
sureshewascr yingandt hatmademeangr yal
l
overagai
n
[
12/
02,
18:
47]Ron:
MyWor
stMi
stake

I
nser
tNi
net
een

Zer
o..
..
.

Myf at
herhadcompletelyl
osthismind,
hehad
takenitandt
hrewittothedogs,howcouldhe
evenbegintoj
usti
fyhimselfngal
ent
oay enzay
o?
Hurti
ngmymot herli
kethatforsomebimbohe
met5minut
esago?Khonawhatmadehi
m so
posi
ti
vet
hatthebabyi
shi
s?
Sakhy"guy
s,kuyoyonkei
nto,
wehav
etomake
suret
hatwet akecar
eofourmot
her
"
Me" weneedt ogetevery
thingi
nordert
omake
surethatshegetsevery
thingshedeser
ves
fr
om thisdiv
orcethendadcangobewi thhi
s
preci
ouswi f
e"
Tabz" Ithoughtwecoul dcomehereandtalk
thingsoutwi thhim butt
oactual
lycomehome
andf i
ndhi m withhismist
ress?Thati
sjust
plaindisrepectf
ul!
"
Me" Iknow!Nowmom i
sint
her
e,pr
obabl
y
cr
yingbecauseofhi
m"
Sakhy"
nomatterwhathappens,
wehav
eto
makesuret
hatMaisokay "
Tabz"
ofcour
se!Shecomesf
ir
st"
Me"
good!I
'
m gonnagogetsomet
hingt
odr
ink"
Sakhy"
sur
e"Igotupndaphumanday
aeki
tchen.
Fr
om t
hekitchenIcouldhearmydadt
alki
ngt
o
hi
smist
ress,reassur
ingher
Dad"Phel
il
ist
entome, weknewthiswasnt
goi
ngtobeeasyright
?Weknewt herear
egoing
tobesomechall
enges,t
hatbei
ngmyf amil
ybut
Iwil
lmakethi
sri
ght,Ipr
omise"
Pheli
"youbet
terZwel
i
,becauset
hisbabyandI
arenotgoi
nganywher
e"heeendakhendahl
eka
kanci
nci
Dad"you'
renot
,Iwi
l
lfi
ghtf
ory
out
il
ltheend
okay
?"
Phel
i"okay"t
henIhear
dthem ki
ss,andthat
s
wasthelaststr
awforme.Ndabekalomanzi
phaaandwal t
zedi
ntothel
iv
ingroom
Me" shessti
llher
e?You'r
ebusyher eassuri
ng
thi
slit
tl
eslutthatyouwil
lfi
xthingsandkissing
herwhileyourwifeisi
ntheotherroom cryi
ng?!
Uri
ghtnjekakuhleaphaentl
okot at
a?!
"Hest ood
upandcl
enchedhi
sfi
st
Dad"yeZusi phe!Iam y
ourfat
herboy!Donty
ou
dareforgetbauthethanabani
kwedini
uyandiv
a? !
"
Me" yourwi feisintheot herroom cry i
ng!!Do
youhearme?Shei scr yi
ng!Becauseofy ouand
thiswhor e!!Dadwhatt hef uckiswr ongwi t
h
youol dman! !Ar eyoubei ngseriousrightnow?
Your eallywantt ogiv eupy ourmar riagef orthi
s?
It
snotev eny ourchild!Yout hinkshel ovesy ou?
Shemusthav egot t
enpr egnantbysomeot her
l
oserbuti spinningitony oubecausey ouwer e
stupidenought ohav eanaf fai
r!Shedoesnt
l
ov eyou!Shej ustwant sy out otakecar eof
i
hlahlal akhe,spendy ourmoneyandpr obably
l
eav ey ouwhenshe' sdonebuty ouar etoo
stupidt oseet hat!
"Myf atherswungatmeand
punchedmei nthef acenday owaandst arted
bleedingi mmedi at
ely .
Ihear
dascr
eam andagasp,
mybr
other
s
hel
pedmegetup
Sakhy"
real
lydad?I
sthi
swhatitscometo?
You'
rehi
tti
ngyourki
dsfort
hiswhore?
"
Dad"
donty
oudar
ecal
lhert
hat
!"
Tabz" that
sexactlywhatshei s!!
!Sheisa
fucki
nghomewr eckingwhore!!!Wena..
..
."
ebesitshokuPheli"y
oumustbepr oudof
yourselfne?Thisiswhatyouwant edandit
hi?
Tobr eakupt hi
sfami l
ywit
ht hatthinggrowi
ng
i
nsidey ou?"Shedidntanswer
Sakhy"i
fthi
sishowitsgoi
ngtobedad,
then
getthehel
loutofourmom'shouse!
"
Dad"
thatwi
l
lnev
erhappen!Thi
sismyhouse
t
oo"
Me" mm Idontt
hinkso,thedeedofthi
shouse
i
sundermom' sname, t
hisisourhomenot
your
sany moreandcert
ainlynother
seit
her
!Get
out!
"
Dad"fi
ne!"Hel
ookedatmymom nextt oLena,
shelookedhor
ri
fied"
Ireal
lywantedtofi
xt hi
ngs
Madlamini,
tomakethingsri
ghtbutyouletyour
sonstreatmeli
kethi
s?Iam nevercomingback
tothi
shouse"hegrabbedhismistr
essandt hey
wereoutthedoor.

Mom "Zusiphe!
"Shesaidt
omeasweal lwer
e
si
tt
ingintheloungeandLenawasat
tendi
ngto
mywounds
Me"
what
?"
Mom "Iknowyou'
reangrybutt
hati
snowayt o
t
alkt
oy ourfat
her
..
..
Imtalki
ngtoal
lyouboy
s"
Sakhy"mama, daddoesnotdeser
veour
respectaf
tert
hewayhet r
eatedyou"
Tabz" howcanyouexpectust
ot al
kli
ke
ci
vil
izedpeopl
ewhenheact sl
ikeahooli
gan?
Whopunchest hei
rownchildf
ortel
li
ngthe
tr
uth?"
Me"
Ma,
youdonthav
etodef
endhi
m"
Mom "
I'
m not
,Imj
ustsay
ing.
..
."
Me"ever
ythi
ngwedoi st
osupporty
ou,we
wantyoutogett
hrought
hisandbehappy
agai
n"
Tabz"Mawel
ovey
ouandwej
ustwanty
out
o
behappy
"
Sakhy"i
tisourdutyt
oprotecty
ouf
rom
anyt
hingthatbr
ingsyouharm"
Me"
eveni
fthatt
hingi
sourownf
ather
"
Tabz"
dadwi
l
lregr
ett
his"
Me"especi
all
ywhenhef
indsoutt
hatki
disnt
hi
s"
Mom "wel
lIwi
ll
hav
emov
edonwi
thmyl
i
feby
t
hen"Ismil
ed
Me" andt
hatsal
lwewant,
togetpastthe
ugl
inessandhel
pyoust
artanewlif
e"she
openedherarmsandweallwenti
nforahug.
Lat eron, LenaandIcookedsupperf oreveryone,
dishedupt henaf tereat ing,SakhyandTabzdi d
thedi shes.Wepr ay edt henretreatedtoour
rooms.Ndaf ikakwey am andl aidonmybed,
thinkingaboutev erythingi nmyl i
fethatledme
tot hatmoment .Iwasgoi ngtobeaf athertoo,I
wasl earninghowi mpor tantfami l
yisandt hat
youmustpr otecty ourlov edonesnomat t
er
whati tt
akes, eveni fit
sf rom theper sonyou
trustt hemost
Lena"
knockknock!
"Il
ookedatt
hedoor
,she
wasst
andingther
esmil
ing
Me"
hey
"
Lena"
canIcomei
n?"
Me"ofcour
se"shecamei
nandl
aidnextt
ome
ont
hebed
Lena"r
ememberwhenweusedtol
ieinbedl
i
ke
thi
sandtal
kti
l
lwefel
lasl
eep?
"Ismil
ed
Me" l
ikei
twasy ester
day.Wehadsuchbi
g
dreams.Iwantedtobethebestl
awyerandy
ou,
thebestneur
osur geon"
Lena"
atl
eastoneoft
hosedr
eamscamet
rue"
Me"sodi
dyours,
you'
redoi
ngwhaty
our
eal
l
y
want
edtodo"
Lena"
yeah,
Iguessourl
iv
esar
eexact
lywher
e
wewantedthem t
obe"
Me"Iguess,
Iam goi
ngt
obeaf
ather
"she
l
ookedatme
Lena"
Kwezi
ispr
egnant
?"Ismi
l
ed
Me"
yeah,
wef
oundoutaf
ewday
sago"
Lena"
that
samazi
ng,
congr
atul
ati
ons 
:)
 "
Me"t
hanksLens,
Iam qui
teexci
tedaboutt
his
newchapt
eri
nmyl i
fe"
Lena"
andsoy
oushoul
d!Bei
ngaf
ather
?It
s
amazi
ng!
"
Me"
yeah?
"
Lena"
yeah?
"
Me"sodoyouevert
hinkaboutki
dsLena?
St
art
ingaf
amil
y"
Lena"ofcour
seIdo,Iwantabigf
ami
l
y,a
husband,ahome.
..
theworks"
Me" ohyeah?AndwhatdoesDelawaresay
aboutthat?
"Shewasthought
ful
f orasecond
thensmiled
Lena"wehaventspokenaboutity
etbutIt
hink
thathewant
sthesamet hi
ngandhedef i
nit
ely
wantstobeabetterpar
entthanhispar
ents
everweret
ohim"
Me"
that
snobl
e"
Lena"hecaresaboutchi
l
dren,
hel
ovest
hem so
Iam posi
ti
vehewant shi
sown"
Me"yeahIsuppose"webothinhal
edonel
ong
br
eat
ht henl
ookedupatt hecei
li
ng,l
yi
ngi
nbed
si
debysidegett
inglosti
nthought
_
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___

Lena.
..
..
.

Thingswer estil
lhect i
ckuloZ, wedidntseeor
hearfrom hisdadt heent i
reweekendsowehad
togobackt oourl i
v es.Tabswast aki
nghis
mom t oPretori
awi thhi m butobvi
ouslywhen
thedivor
cepr oceedi ngsstart,
shewoul dhav e
togobackt oCPTandbewi t
hZbecausehe
wouldber epresentingher .I
twasact uall
yso
sadwhatwashappeni ng,
itwassocl earthat
Mom st i
l
llovedherhusbandbuthewasso
takenbythei deaofhi snewl adyandbabyt hat
hedidntevenr eali
set hathewasput ti
ng
himselfi
njeopar dyofl osi
nghi sentir
efamily 
:
-/

Any
way
,ZandIar
ri
vedatCapeTownai
rpor
t,
gotacart
oget
hert
henhedr
oppedmeof
fatmy
house
Me" sayhitoKweziformeand
congratul
ati
ons 
wit
ht hebaby
"
Z"
thanksLens,
dontbeast
rangerokay
?"
Me" never
"hesmi led,Ikissedhi m onthecheek
thenndaphumaemot weni withmybag.The
dri
verpull
edoutoft hedrivewaymna
ndayongenaendlini.NikoandLukawer enot
homesoIwentst raighttomyr oom and
changedintomor ecomf or tabl
eclothesthen
wentdownst ai
rstomakemy sel
fasnack.Whi l
e
Iwaseat i
ng,Jacecal l
edme
Me"
heybaby
"
Jace"
hey
,howar
eyou?
"
Me"
I'
m good,
justhungr
yandy
ou?
"
Jace"
I'
m al
i
ttl
eti
redbutImi
ssy
out
err
ibl
y"
Me"
Imi
ssy
out
oo,
soy
ou'
rest
il
lcomi
ngr
ight
?"
Jace"
ofcour
seangel
,Iwi
l
lseey
oul
ater
?"
Me"
yes 
:)
 Jace.
..
."
Jace"
mmh?
"
Me"
Ilov
eyou"
 
Jace" Ilovey out oo"t henhehungup, If
inished
withmysnackndabuy elanasoupst ai
rst omy
room.It urnedonsomeI ndi aAr i
emusi cand
satonmybedndat ya.It houghtaboutmy
conv er sati
onwi t
hZaboutbabi esandst arti
nga
family .Iwant edi tall,Iknewt hatatsomepoi nt
i
nmyl ife,Iwantt obeamot herandsomeone' s
wife,Zwast hef irstguyIf antasizedabout
havingt hatwhi tepi cketf encehousewi th,af ew
pairsofl i
ttl
ef eetr unningar oundt hehouse, our
weddi ng, ourper fectl ife,Iwoul dsmi l
ejust
thi
nki ngabout .Butt hent hi ngschangedand
nowIwant edal l
thoset hingswi t
hJaceandI
waspr et t
ysur ehewant edt hesamet hingt oo.
AsIwasIl yi
ngtherefant
asizi
ngaboutbei
ng
MrsDel awar
e,Ir
ecievedav i
deocal
lfr
om my
dad.Iacceptedi
timmediatelyt
henonmy
scr
een, heandmylitt
lebrot
herAugust
appeared
Me"
hidaddy
 :
) 
"
Dad"
heypr
incess!
!Howar
eyou?
"
Me"
I'
m gr
eat
!Howar
eyouguy
s?"
Dad"we'
regood,wejustmissyou 
:( .
..
dont
weAuggie?"Hesai
dtomyl it
tl
ebrot
herandhe
j
ustl
aughed,hewas8mont hsoldalr
eadythe
mostadorabl
ethi
ngever!
!
Me"Imi
ssy
ouguy
stoo!Especi
all
ythatl
i
ttl
e
guy
!!
"
Dad"
whenar
eyoucomingtovi
situst
hen?
"I
dr
ewinal
ongbr
eathandexhal
ed
Me"Idontknowdaddy
,Jaceneedsmer
ight
now"
Dad"
why
?Di
dsomet
hinghappen?
"
Me"yes,
hisbi
ologi
calf
atherhasr
esur
faced
andhewantst
ot al
k"
Dad"
okaysowhat
sthepr
obl
em"
Me"Jacedoesntwantto,i
tsal
lsocompli
cat
ed
andi
tsreal
l
ysethim back.Iam wor
ri
ed"
Dad"baby.
..
.y
oucantcarr
yeverybody
'sl
oadon
yourshoul
ders,Jacei
sagrownmanlethi
m
handlehi
sbusiness"
Me"
hisf
athercamet
oseemet
heot
herday
"
Dad"
whatdi
dhewant
?"
Me"hecamet oaskmei
fIcoul
dtal
ktoJace
f
orhim andIsai
dno"
Dad"
Ithoughty
ouwantt
ohel
phi
m?"
Me"Idobuti
fIgotoJaceandtel
lhi
mtot
alkt
o
hi
sdad,i
twouldmakemeahy pocr
it
e"
Dad"whatdoyoumean?"Il
ookeddownandhe
si
ghed"youmeanyourmom? "
Me"
yes,
dadi
fthatwomanwer
etoshowup
ri
ghtnow!Iwouldntgi
veherthet
imeofday!No
motherabandonsthei
rchil
datahospi
tal
and
doesntshowupf or26year
s!"
Dad"
honey
..
..
."Ishookmyhead
Me" dont
..
.dontev enst ar
t .Idontcarewhat
reasonshehad.t hewomanwhogav ebi r
thto
mel ef
tme, Jace'sfatherr apedhismom t hen
l
eftherpregnant,thatisf arwor sethanbei ng
abandonedinahospi t alandIwasl uckyenough
tohaveaf atherl
ikeyou, Jaceendedupwi th
screwupofamom andanabusi vestepdadso
tel
lmedad, whenIknowIwoul dnev erlether
i
ntomyl i
fe,howcanIev enbegi ntopr eachto
Jaceaboutgi vi
ngsecondchancesand
redempti
on? "
Dad" youhaveanamazi nghear tLena,t
he
biggestheartIhaveeverseen.Youar esowar m,
caring,l
ovi
ng,kindandaccepting.Youtreat
everyonewithsomuchcar eandat t
enti
veness,
youhav ethesecolourcoatedglassesandy ou
havet hisabili
tytoseet hebesti nev er
yone..
...
I
knowy ou'
reangr yanddi sappointedabouty our
mom butwhatIal soknowi sthatmydaught er
cannothol dagr udge.Youcannev erhate,you
donthav et hatinyou...
.yourmom madet he
biggestmi stakebyl eavi
ngy ouandchoosi ng
nott ogetknowhowwonder f
ulherdaught eris
butbaby ,dontev ermaket hemi stakeofholding
somuchangerandr esent mentiny ourheart,i
t
willchangeanddest royy ou"myey esfi
ll
edwi th
tearsandIknewt hatwithonebl inktheywoul d
fall
Me" butdaddy ,sheusedy ou...
.shewanted
somet hingfrom youandi nsteadshegotme.
Shewoul dhavegot t
enridofmei fy
ouhadnt
stoppedher .Shedidntwantmesowhywoul dI
wantsomeonel ikethat?Im notangrtor
resentful,
Ijustdidawaywi ththechil
dish
fantasyofwant inghertocomeback.Igr ewup
andr eali
sedexact l
ywhatki ndofwomanshe
real
lywasandIj ustknow, Idontwantherinmy
l
ife.Icantdoany thingf orJacethist
ime,hehas
t
owanti tforhimsel f
,infactIwonteventouch
t
hesubj ectofhisf ather"mydadgav emeasad
l
ookandi tbrokemyhear t
.Auggiebecame
f
ussyast hemoodchangedbet weenus,i
nthat
momentIj ustwant edt orunintomydad'sarms
l
ikeIalway sdidwhensomet hingmademe
t
hi nkofthewomanwhogav ebirt
htome : (

Me"daddydontbeli
kethat.Auggi
e!!Auggie!
!"
Helookedatthescr
eenexcit
edly"
heylitt
le
br
other?!Youmissme?!Imissyoutoo!!Soooo
much!!
!"Hejumpeduphappily
Daddy"
weal
lmi
ssy
ou"
Me"
Ipr
omi
set
ocomev
isi
tsoonokay
?"
Daddy"
okaymyangel
,Il
ovey
ou!
"
Me"
Ilov
eyout
oo!Ki
ssSar
ahf
orme"
Dad"okay,saybyetoLenaAuggi
e,saybyesi
si,
byebye"Ismiledandwavedathi
mt hencutt
he
cal
l
.

Ilai
dbackonmybedandsmi led,seeingAugust
andKwezi beingpr egnantmademef eelso
broody 
: ) 
Ireallywantedaf ami l
y.I
twast i
me
JaceandIt alkedaboutt hatsortofthing,I
thoughti
twoul dbeaf unconv ersati
onfora
changeapar tfrom hisdadandour
abandonmenti ssues 
- _-
 howser i
ouslyfucked
upwewer ebutwel ovedeachot herwewant ed
tomakei twor k :)

Fi
nall
yhear r
ivedatthehouseandf
oundme
upst
air
si nmyr oom wat
chingamoviebutIwas
hal
fasleep.Hecamet othebedandkissedme
Me"
mm Idef
ini
tel
ymi
ssedt
hat
"
Jace"Idefi
nit
elymissedyou!Neverbeaway
fr
om met hatlongokay?"Ir
eachedupand
pull
edhimintoakiss
Me"Iwouldntdream ofit"hestoodupst r
aight
wayaebathroom room thenaft
erawhi l
e
wabuyaenxibehispy j
amapants...
yesyes,he
hadhisowndr awernowatmypl acebutke
nam,Ihadawhol esecti
oninhi
swal kinathis
pl
aceso..
..
.hejoinedmei nbedandpul l
edme
cl
osetohim, t
akingmyl egandput t
ingitover
hi
s
Jace"
sohowwasy
ourt
ri
p?"Heki
ssedme
Me"
itdi
dntgoaspl
anned"heki
ssedmeagai
n
Jace" whynot?"Hedeepenedthekisst hen
brokeitsoIcouldanswer,hemov edt omyneck
andhi shandmov edalongmythight henunder
myni ghti
e,uptomychest ,
squeezingmy
breastthen,Iar
chedmybackandcl osedmy
eyes,let
ti
ngoutasl i
ghtmoan
Me"Z'sdadisreal
lysetonmarryi
nghis
mist
ress,heisqui
tehappywit
h
st
art
ingm..well
 
expandi
ngthefamily
.Z'
smom
wontacceptit
,sotheyaredi
vorci
ng"hepul
l
ed
upt
henight
iewayoyi
khuphaent
loko,
leav
ing
mewit
hjustipant
y.

Hel aidmeonmybackandcl imbedontopof

me, hismouthnev
erleavi
ngmybody ,
he
encircledmyni
ppl
edwi t
hhishotmouth,
teasingitwi
tht
hetipofhist
ongue
Jace"
it
sal
way
ssosadwhenamar
ri
ageends"
Me" y
es"Isai dbr eathlessy ,
Ifelthishandon
themov eagai n.Traili
ngt hesideofmyt highin
suchawayt hati tmadet hehai r
sonmybody
j
oltri
ghtup.Ev erysensei nmewashi ghtened,I
wasincompl etepleasur emode, mybody ,
my
mind..
..
allofmewasr eadyf orgot i
me.Jace
hadthatef f
ecton, wel l t
hesameef fectt
hatZ
usedtohav ewhenwedat edbacki nhigh
school 
: -/ 
any way..
..hehadt hatkindofeffect
onme, justbyamer et ouch,mybodywoul d
i
nstantl
yr espondt ohi m
Jace"
howshismom then?"Hewasmov i
ng
downsout
h,whi
lehi
sot herhandsl
owl
ypull
ed
downmypanti
es
Me" she'
shurti
ng"i
twashar dtoconcentrat
eon
hi
squest i
onsbecauseofwhathewasdoi ngto
me" butshewill
befine"hereachedmysexand
Ifel
thistonguedoi
ngt hatt
easingthi
ngagain.I
l
etoutagastandwhenIwasaboutt otouchhis
head,hegrabbedmyhandwasi bekaecal
eni
Jace" shewil
l be"hiswholemout hinv adedme
andIl i
ftedupmywai sttomeethi m halfway.
Hishandsr eachundermyt highs,hi
st ongue
wasdoi ngmagi cal t
hingstomeandIwas
slowlybeingusher edtoanalternateuniverse.
Insteadoftouchhi sheadlikeIwant edtobehe
stoppedme, Ipulledont hesheets,risi
ngand
fall
i
ngt omat chhisr yt
hmn
Me" Ja..
..
Jace..
..
"Isai
dhisnamesof t
lyandhe
carri
edon, usi
nghistongueandhand,worki
ng
togethertogiv
emeul ti
matepleasur
e,Iwas
nowinpl easuremodeov er
load
"pl
ease..
...
please"Ibegged,hewasdoingthat
contr
olli
ngt hi
ngagai n,
holdingmebackfr
om
myor gasm andIj ustwantedtobur
st
Jace"
youwantt
ocome?
"Heaskedme
Me"
y-y
es.
..
please"
Jace" thencomebaby "li
keataphadbeen
opened, everyt
hinggushedoutofmeli
kean
ov erf
lowingri
ver.Mybodyconvulsedi
nst
rong
violentspasmsandi twasthemostamazing
thingt oeverexperi
ence.

Hemovedupt
omyl
i
ps,
weki
ssedf
oral
ong
t
ime 
Jace"
your
eadyf
ort
hemai
ncour
se?
"Ismi
l
ed
Me" y
es"heki ssedmeagainthenopenedmy
l
egsev enmor e,sl
idi
nghisarm underneathmy
t
high,Ifel
titsli
deinbecauseIwasal readyso
wetsot her
ewasnodi f
fi
cult
y"aaah!"Icouldnt
helpit
,Ipulledhim cl osertomeandhesl owl y
mov edinandoutofme, makingslowci r
cular
mov ementswi thdeepsl owt hrusts.Woul dI
evergetenoughoft hisman?Thewayhemade
l
ov etomewassoar ti
culate,heknewexact ly
howt ohandl eme, wher etotouch, ki
ss,focus
togetmegoi ng.Hemov edhishandf rom under
myt hi
ghandhel dbot hmyhandsov ermyhead,
rammi nghimselfi nsideme, Irai
sedmyl egs
andlockedhi mi n.Hepi ckedupt hepaceand
bothourbodyhei ght enedupt oourcli
maxes, I
camef ir
st,hehel dmet ightasheshothi sl oad
deepinsideme.

Westay
edliket
hatf
oralongti
methenfinal
ly
hesl
i
doutofmewal al
aecankwam andpull
ed
metohischest
Me"
your
eal
l
ymi
ssedmehey
?"
Jace"
Idi
dbaby
"
Me"
Idi
dtoo 
:)
 "Iwasst
art
ingt
ofal
lasl
eep
thenIr
ememberedtheconversat
ionIwanted
ustohave"
youknow,ifIwasntonthepil
l.
..
.I
thi
nkIwoul
dbepregnantbynow"
Jace"
whydoy
ousayt
hat
?"
Me"justafeel
ing.
..
itwoul
dbeni
cet
hough
r
ight
? "Hesti
ff
ened
Jace"
whatwoul
dbe?
"
Me" t
ohaveababy ?Tobeparents.
..
.have 
a
l
itt
leJaceorLenahangingaround.Start
inga
famil
y :)
 "hedidntanswersoIlookedathim,
Icoul
dntreadhisexpressi
on"areyouokay ?
"
Jace"
Imf
ine"
Me"
youdontl
ookf
ine.
..
tal
ktome"
Jace"I
mjustwonder
ingwher
ethi
stal
kis
comingfr
om t
hatsal
l"
Me"whatdoyoumeanJace?Coupl
eshav
ethi
s
conv
ersat
ional
lthet
ime"
Jace"
sowehav
etohav
eone?
"
Me" Jace.
..
.youdowantki
dsdontyou?
"Hekept
quietandIfeltawi
l
dsenseoffor
ebodi
ng
"Jace?"
Jace"no..
.Idontwantchi
l
dren"ndaqal
e
ndothukathenIsmiled
Me" wel
lnotnow!I
nthef
utur
e,maybeli
kea
yearort
wof r
om now.Wecanstar
tafamil
y"
Jace" Lena,you'
renothearingme...
.Idontwant
kids.
..
..ever!
!!
"Hepushedmeof fhim,waphuma
ebhediniway aebathroom andIjustsatther
e
feeli
ngst unned.
..
..
..

Noki
ds?Deal
breakerforLens.
..
.orwi
l
lthey
r
eachacompromise?
 :)

(Sor
ryf
ornotpost
ingi
zolo!ButIam homenow,
soIwil
lkeepem i
nser
tscomin!!
)
[
12/
02,
18:
48]Ron:
MyWor
stMi
stake
I
nser
tTwent
y

Lena.
..
.

Hecameoutoft
hebathr
oom f
ull
ydr
essedand
Ij
umpedoutoft
hebednday
akuye
Me"
arey
oul
eav
ing?
!"
Jace"
yes"
Me"
what
?Jace!
"Hel
ookedatme
Jace"Icanseet
hatIam notenoughf
ory
ouso
I
'mleaving"
Me" Jace"Isaidhisnamesoft
lyasIf eltt
ears
fi
ll
myey es,helookedatmewithsomuch
sadness, Ibl
inkedandthet
ear
sf el
l"please
dontgo"
Jace"
Lena.
..
..
"hi
svoi
cewaspai
ned
Me"canweatl
eastt
alkaboutt
his?Youdont
hav
etoleav
e"
Jace"t
her
e'snot
hingt
otal
kaboutLena,
Idont
wantki
ds"
Me"
whynot
?Youl
oveki
ds"
Jace"because.
..
..
"hesatonmybedandIsat
nextt
ohi m"Idontknowthef
ir
stt
hingabout
bei
ngadad"
Me"Jace,Idontknowany thi
ngaboutbeinga
mom eit
her.Yousupportchar i
ti
esf
orkids,y
ou
car
eaboutthem...Iseeyouaroundkids,y
our
smil
e?Thewayy oucar eforthem.Howcany ou
notwantoneofy ourown"
Jace"all
Idoisprov i
deforthem,makesur
e
theyareclot
hed,fed,educat
edandhavearoof
overthei
rhead,andthattheyaret
reat
edwell
"
Me"
seemsv
eryf
ather
lyt
ome"
Jace"ot
herpeopl
e'
skidsLena,Idontwantto
fuckupsomekid'
sli
febecauseIam toofucked
upt
ober
esponsi
blef
oranyy
oungchi
l
d"
Me" what?Jacecomeon,youcantpossi
blyst
il
l
seeyoursel
fli
kethat
.You'
vebeendoingso
great
!"
Jace"unti
lRichardBanksshowedupand
remindedmeofwhatIt rul
yam.Ar esul
tofrape,
anunwant edabusedchi l
d,arust
yli
ttl
eboywho
i
sf r
om thegutter"Iopenedmymout hbutIwas
toostunnedtoev enspeak.Ihadnowor ds.
..
.I
hadntreal
isedthatJacestil
lhadsuchthoughts
abouthimself

Me"Jace,wet
alkedaboutt
his.
..
youdonthave
t
oseey our
sel
fli
kethat
.You'
remorethanthat
!"
Jace"st
il
lLena.
..
.t
hepoi
nti
s,Icantbeaf
ather
,
Idontwantit
"
Me" Jace..
..
you'
re 
justsay
ingthatnowbutI
'
m
surethatifyoukeeponwi t
htherapy,
youmight
changey ourmind"
Jace"
may
be"
Me"Ir
eal
lywi
shy
oucoul
dseewhatIseewhen
Il
ookaty
ou"
Jace"
what
sthat
?"
Me" amant hatisbr oken, amant hatneedst o
belov edandnur tured.Amant hathasl iveda
painful li
fe, amanwhot hi
nkshei snotwor thy
buthei s,Iseeamanwhoi spassi onate,aman
whoi sst rong, amanwhocar essomuchabout
thewel l
beingofot herchi l
dr en.Iseeamant hat
Ilovesomuchandwantt obewi th, amant hatI
wantt ohol di nmyar msev erynightandaman
thatIwantt owakeupnextt o,ever ymor ning.
Jace, yout hi nkthewor stofy ourselfbuty ou're
nothingbutt hebest .Youhav eabi ghear t,
nobody '
sper fect
,weal lhav eourskel et
ons, t
he
ghost soft hepastt hathauntusbuty oudi dnt
l
ett hatdef ine.Youbeatal ltheoddsbabyand
becameJaceDel awar eandt hatist hevery
speci althingabouty ou.Youwi l
lmakeagr eat
fatherJacebecausecari
ngforchi
l
drencomes
sonat ural
l
ytoy ou,y
ouhavesomuchl oveand
affecti
ontogive,youwouldt
hebeatfatherand
thatchil
dwouldbesol uckyt
ohaveadadl i
ke
you"
Jace"y
ouhavesomuchfait
hinmeandIget
scar
edthatIwi
l
ldi
sappoi
ntyou"
Me"
youwont
"
Jace"
howdoy
ouknowt
hat
?"
Me" becausey ouwantt hisasmuchasIdo.
Youlov emeandy ouwantt hesamet hing,
to
buil
dal if
etogetherandr aiseabunchofki ds
togethereventhoughwear easfuckedup.I
dontknowt hefi
rstt
hingaboutbei ngamom
andy oudontknowt hef ir
stt hi
ngaboutbeinga
dad,thatswhywewi l
lbet hebestpar ents 
:) 
"
hechuckl edandIsmi l
ed, i
nserti
ngmyar m
betweenhi sarm andtorsot henlyi
ngonhi s
shoulder"nowt akeoffalltheseclothesand
comebackt obed"
Jace"okay
"hest
oodupandIlethi
m go,
waya
ebathr
oom,camebackandj
oinedmeinbed,
pull
i
ngmei nt
ohi
sarms

_
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___

Zer
o..
..
..

Iar
ri
vedattheflataft
erdr
oppi
ngoffLenaand
Kweziwasalr
eadyhome.Shewashappyt osee
meandIher,Ireall
ydidmissmybabykodwa
Me"heybaby
 :)
 "shet
hrewherarmsar
ound
me,
Ipull
edherbackandkissedher
Kwezi"
Imissedyousomuch!Phof
uwemi
ssed
you!
"Shesai
drubbinghert
ummy
Me" Imissedyouguyst
oo"Ibentdowntokiss
herbell
y,shetookmybagsandwewentt osit
down,Ilaidonherl
apandshebrushedmyhead
Kwezi"
I'
m sor
ryt
hingswer
esor
oughwi
thy
our
dad"
Me"metoo,
Ireal
l
ydontknowwhat
sgot
ten
i
ntohi
m"
Kwezi"howcanhereal
lyexpecty
ourmom t
o
acceptthi
s?I
tsmadness!
"
Me" i
treall
yis.Idontknowwhat '
sgoing
thr
ought hatman'shead,Ifeel
sousel essy
ou
know..
.mymot heri
shurti
ngandt her
ei s
nothi
ngIcandoabouti t
"
Kwezi"baby.
...
you'
re helpingherkakhul u.You
wenttoP.Eandshowedy ourdadt hatumama
wenustil
lhast hesuppor tandl oveofhersons.
Sheknowst hatyouboy sar ewi thherandt hat
wil
lgi
vehert hestrengtht ogett hr
ought hisand
st
artt
hisnewchapt erinherl i
fe.Thewor ldis
fi
l
ledwithnewpossi bil
iti
es"Ilookedupather
Me"
whendi
dyougetsosmar
t?"Shesmi
l
ed
Kwezi
"Iwasbor
nthi
sway
"Ichuckl
ed
Me"comehere"shebentdownandweki
ssed
"
I'
m gonnat
akeaquickshower"
Kwezi
"wantmet
ojoi
nyou?
"
Me"
mm Iwashopi
ngy
ouwoul
dsayt
hat
 ^
_^ 
"
Kwezi
"okayy
ib'
uhamba,
Iwi
l
ljoi
nyoui
nabi
t"
Me" okay"Igotof
fherndayaekamer eni
and
deci
dedt ocallmymom beforegetti
nginthe
shower,shesaidshe'
sdoinggreatandthatwas
areli
ef,shesoundedcheerf
ulanditputmeat
ease.

Thef ol
lowingdaywaswor kandal soKwezi
's
fi
rstsonogram.Icoul dntwaittoseemybaby
forthefir
stti
me, Ididntwanttomi ssathi
ngin
Kwezi '
spregnancy,ourfir
stchil
dwasspecial
andIwant edtobet hereev er
ystepoftheway.

Igott
otheoffi
ceandstar
tedworki
ng,
appoi
ntmentkaKweziwasduri
ngmylunch
hour,Iwantedtogetal
otofwor kdone
becauseIdidntknowhowl ongtheappoint
ment
wouldtake.Iworkedt
hroughthedaywi t
hout
breat
hinguntil
Lenacal
ledme, Ipi
ckedup
i
mmedi atel
y
Me"
Lens,
what
sup?
"
Lena"
arey
oubusyngel
unchbr
eaky
akho?
"
Me"yeah,
itsKwezi
'
sfi
rstsonogr
am,
Idont
wannamissit
"
Lena"
oh"shesoundeddi
sappoi
nted
Me"
isev
ery
thi
ngokay
?"
Lena"y
es,uhit
sokay
...
Ijustwant
edt
oseei
f
you'
refr
eeforl
unchyet
"
Me"
oh?I
'
m sor
ry"
Lena"noi
tsokay
,thebaby.
..
Kwezi
comesfi
rst
"
hervoi
cewaslowandsad,i
thadmeworr
ied
Me"Lens,
whatswrong?I
sity
ourdad?Jace?
Yousoundupset
"
Lena"
noi
tsnotmydad"
Me"
soi
tsJace?Whathappened"
Lena" wearehavingsomesortoftr
oubl
e,l
ook
i
tsf i
ne..
.i
tsalmostluncht
ime,
youshouldget
going"justasshewasdonesay i
ngthat
,
Kwezi'scallcamein
Me"
Lena.
..
."
Lena"
we'
l
ltal
klat
er,
dontwor
ry"
Me"
okay
,I'
l
lseey
oul
atert
hen"
Lena"
okay
,hav
efun.
..
bri
ngmeapi
ctur
eokay
?"
Me"defi
nit
ely
 :
) 
"shehungupandIanswer
ed
Kwezi
'scal
l
Me"
baby
?"
Kwezi
"sendi
phumi
l
e"
Me"
okayI
'
m onmyway
"
Kwezi
"okay
"shecutthecal
landIst
oodup,
gat
her
edmyt hi
ngsandIwasoutthedoor
.
Iar
ri
vedattheOBGYN'sof
fi
ceandsatnextt
o
Kwezi
,sheheldmyhandandsmil
edatme
Kwezi "
Imf eel
inganxious!Inagoodway
though!Icantwaittoseeourbaby !
!"Shewas
soexcited,hereyesjustli
tup
Me" met oobaby !
"Ilookedar oundandf elta
l
ittlest r
ange, Ihadnev erbeent oanOBGYN
bef ore,therewer eallsor t
sofpost ersaboutt he
repr oduct i
vesy stem, pregnantmoms, babies,
breast feeding, howt otakecar eofachi ld,
what sbestf ort hechildet c..
..
tobehonest ,it
freakedmeoutal i
tt
lebi t.Itwasal i
tt
let oo
ov erwhel mingt oknowt hatKwezi '
stummywas
goi ngt ogetbi ggerast hebabygr ew, thenshe
woul dgot hroughl abourandIhear dthatlabour
pai nsar eabi tchandIknewshewoul d
def init
elywantmet here, holdingherhandandI
coul dntimagi nemy selfbei nganywaydur i
ng
thebi r
thofmychi l
d,thebabybei ngher e,being
responsibleformyownl i
ttl
ehuman, itwasso
overwhel mingandIf eltmy selfgetti
ng
goosebumps.Isuddenl yunder st
oodwhyKwezi
hadbeensor eluctantaboutt elli
ngmeabout
thepregnancy .Iwast heguywhohad
commi t
tmenti ssues, ItoldherIdi dntwant
chil
dreny et,Iwasntr eadyandi nt hepast,Ihad
actedlikeat otalimmat ureprick,damnIwas
feel
ingl i
kethatI mmat ureprickrightinthat
moment .Shehel dmyhandt ighterandher
smilebr i
ghtened, Iwaspul l
edbackt othenow
andIr eali
sedhernamehadj ustbeencal l
edout.

West oodupandf ol
l
owedt henur
seint
othe
consult
ingroom,
thedrtoldKwezitost
ri
p
nakedthelayonthebed.Shedidasshewas
tol
d
Dr"
alr
ight
!Ar
eyour
eadyt
oseey
ourbaby
?"
Kwezi"
we'resoexci
ted :) 
"shel
ookedatme
andInoddedwit
hant i
cipat
ion
Dr"okay,it
sgoingtobeal i
tt
lecoldalri
ght?"She
sai
dt oKweziassheputt hatjel
l
ylikethingon
herstomach,shepull
edupt heultr
asound
machi neanddi
dhert hi
ng"aaanndd...
..
thereis
yourbaby"Iconcentr
atedonthescr eenbutI
couldntseeadamnt hing
Me"
wher
e?"
Dr"r
ighther
e"shepoi
ntedandIsawasmal
l
bl
ackspot
Me"
that
?"
Dr"y
es,thatt
hepr
egnancybag,
andt
hati
sthe
baby.
..
."
Me"whyisi
tsosmall?Itdoesntl
ookl
i
kea
baby
 :-
/ 
"Iaskedher,
feeli
ngsoconf
used
Dr"t
hat
sbecauseyourwi
fei
ssti
ll
6weeks
pr
egnant
,thebabyi
saboutasi
zeofal
ent
il
"
Me"soyou'r
esayingt
hisbl
ackspotwil
lgrow
i
ntoanactualchi
l
d?"Theybot
hlaughedatme
Kwezi
"that
sri
ghtbaby
"
Dr"
MrPhoswa, Icanassureyout hati
n3
monthsti
me,youwill
seeabi ggerdevelopment
i
nthegrowthofyourbaby"Ismiled
Me"
Ihopeso!
"Shechuckl
ed
Dr"okaynowl etsheart
heheartbeat
"she
pressedabuttonandwehear dthebaby'
shear
t
beati
ngstronglyli
kealouddr
um
Dr"str
onghear tbeat
,heal
thyandnormal
.
Every
thingseemst obejustfi
ne,ar
eyoufeel
i
ng
anypain?Discomf or
t?"
Kwezi
"no,
notev
enmor
ningsi
ckness"
Dr"youshouldcher
isht
hat
,somewomenar
e
notsolucky"
Kwezi
"hahahaohy
esIdo!
"Il
aughed
Dr"okay
!Well
y oucangety
oursel
fcleanedup
andIwil
lseeyounextmonthokay?
"
Kwezi"
thanky
ou 
:)
 "shenoddedt
henexi
ted
ther
oom
Me"
wowmommy
!Howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
!"
Kwezi
"goodandy
ou?Howwast
hat
?"
Me"
amazi
ng 
:)
 "
Kwezi
"soy
ou'
rehappy
?"
Me"
sohappy
"Iwentov
ert
oki
ssher

_
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___

Lena.
..
..
.

Ast heday speeledaway,themor eIfeltJace

pull
ingawayf rom me.Wewoul dbei nthesame
room togetherbutitwassocol dbetweenus
andi twaskill
ingme.Itri
edtor eachout ,
even
suggestedcoupl e'
sther
apy ,
ini
tial
lyhewas
againstitbutIwouldntdropitsohef inal
ly
agreed.Iwant edustowor ksobadl ythatIeven
pushedt
heideaofki
dstothebackofmyhead
j
ustsohecanfocusonhimsel
f,healandt
hen
wewouldgobacktothefamil
ytopic.

Ourappoi ntmentwasonThur sdayat5pm, I

hadntspokent ohi m al
ldayandIdeci dednott o
callhim eit
herbecauseIwaspr epar edt oletit
alloutatourt herapysession.Af terwor k,I
drovetohi sdoct orandbecauseIdi dntseehi s
car,Iassumedt hathewasr unningl ateev en
thoughitwasunl ikehim,Jacewasal ways
punctual andpref er
redthepeopl ear oundhi m
toof f
erhi mthesamecour tesy.Any wayI
parkedmycarandwentupt othedr 'soffi
cet o
confirmt heappoi nt
mentbutt her eceptionist
knewnot hi
ngabouti tandlookedatmel i
keI
wasspeaki nggreekorsomet hi
ng
Me" whatdoyoumeant her
eisnotappoi
ntment
forJaceDelawar
e?!Hesaidhebookedusan
appioi
ntmentat5today
"
Her"
I'
m sor
ry,
butIdontseet
hather
e"
Me"checkagai
n,t
her
ehast
obesomeki
ndof
mi
stake"
Her"
butmi
ssIal
ready
..
..
"
Me" check.Agai
n!"
..
..
."
every
thi
ngokayher
e?"I
tur
nedt oseeashortfrai
lwomanstandi
ng
behindme
Her"DrFlemming,t
hisl
adyclai
mst hatMr
Del
awaremadeanappoi ntmentforcoupl
e'
s
t
herapytodaybutIdontseei
there"
Dr"i
tsokayCara,Iwi
ll
t akei
tfr
om her
e..
..
fol
l
ow
meplease"If
ollowedthewomanintoheroffi
ce
andshetoldmet osi
t

Me"
I'
drat
herst
and"shesmi
l
edki
ndl
y
Dr"
areyoubyanychanceLenaSept
ember
?IfI
mayask?"
Me"
yesIam"
Dr"Jacet al
kedal otaboutyouwhenhecame
here,hetoldmet hatyouwer et
hesoleforce
dri
vinghimt ogetbet t
er.Hetol
dmet hathe
want edtogetbettersohecanbet hekindof
many oudeserv
e"
Me"
hedi
d?"
Dr"y esbutIam worri
edandkindofsur
pri
sed
thathet ol
dyoutocomeher eforcoupl
e'
s
therapywhenhequi tcomingheretwoweeks
ago"mymout hfel
lopen
Me"
what
?! 
:O 
"
Dr"hejustst
oppedcomi
ng,sai
dhewasf
ine
anddidntneedmeanymore"
Me" youmeanJacesentmeher eonawi l
d
goosechase?He' snotevenseeingy ou
anymor e?"ShenoddedandIj ustknew
somet hingwashappeni ng,Jacesendingme
ther
ewasadi ver
siontosomet hi
ng" t
hankyou
doctor,Iwillbegoingnow"ndaj i
kandaphuma
ngathndi yapushwaemny ango
Idroveli
keacr azywomanal lthewaytohis
house,Ibustedthroughhi sdoors,Sof
iatol
dme
hewasupst air
ssoIr anupandhewasi nhis
room,inanAr mani navysuit,
talki
ngonthe
phoneandf aci
ngt hewi ndow.Therewasa
l
argesuitcasenextt othebedandot herbags
too
Me"Jace?"Heslowl yt
urnedtofacetodoor,he
wassurpri
sedtoseeme.Hecutt hecalland
j
uststar
edatme" whatisal
lthi
s?"IaskedasI
ent
eredhisroom slowl
y
Jace"
Lena.
..
Ithoughty
ouwer
e..
..
"
Me" atthether
apysessi
ony oudidntbook?Why
didyoulietomeJace?Whydi dy oustopgoi
ng
totherapy?"Hedi
dntanswermebutl ooked
down" IaskedyouJace,whatisgoingon?"
Jace"
Lena.
..
"
Me"
tel
lme"It
ookadeepbr
eat
hthen
wasondel
akum,
Ifel
tawi
l
dsenseof
f
orebodi
ng
Jace"I'
mleavi
ngforNewYork,myplaneshoul
d
havelef
talr
eadybuti
twasdelayed"myheart
dropped
Me"
what
?"I
twasawhi
sper
Jace" t
her
eisthisnewtechnol
ogyIam
developi
ng,Iwanttobethereper
sonal
l
yto
overseeevery
thi
ng"
Me" andyouwerentgoingtotel
lmet hatyou'
re
l
eav i
ng?Youwer egoi
ngtosendmeof ftoDr
Flemming'sandjustl
eavewit
houtt el
li
ngme? "
Al umprosetomyt hr
oat,t
earsstungmyey es
"whywouldy oudothatJace?
"
Jace"
becauseIhat
egoodbyes,becauseIdi
dnt
wantt
oseet hel
ookonyourfaceri
ghtnow..
..
"
mybrowscreasedwit
hconfusi
on
Me"goodby
es?Whatdoyoumean?You'
re
comi
ngbackri
ght
?Aftery
ou'
redone
developi
ngt henewt echnology.
..
youwillcome
backr i
ght?
"Hel ookedatmewi thsadeyesand
Iknewt hetrut
h, hewasleav i
ngme" huh..
..
so
youwer egoingtoj ustl
eaveJace?Youwer e
goingtopackupev eryt
hingandleave?Why ?"
Hekeptqui et"IASKEDWHYDAMMI T!!
"I
screamedathi m, t
earsfall
i
ngdownmycheeks
Jace"becauseIam afuckupokay!Iam t
oo
fuckeduptobeanygoodf ory
ou!!Cantyousee
Lena?Iam notther
ightmanforyou!"
Me"well
howdoyouknowt
hat
?HOW DOYOU
KNOW THATWHENYOUNEVEREVENTRIED?
!"
Ihi
thi
m ont
hechest
Jace"Lena.
..
.y
oudeservebet
terokay
?You
deser
veamanwhowi llgi
veyouever
ythi
ngt
hat
youwantandneed,thatmanisnotme"
Me" Jaceifthi
sisaboutthechil
drent
henthi
ng
i
tsokay ,wecantalkaboutitagai
natalat
er
stage.Justgobacktotherapyandget
better
..
.pl
ease 
: '
( 
"
Jace"
Lenay
oudontunder
stand!
"
Me" t
henmakemeunderstand!Iwantt
o
underst
andwhyy
ou'
rerunning"
Jace" it
snotaboutmegoi ngbackt other apy
andbei ngbet ter,Idontwantki ds.
..
.Idontev er
wantt obeaf atherandt hatwillneverchange.I
am goi ngtoNewYor ksothatyoucanst ayhere
andf indamanwhowi l
lgiveyouthef ami lyy
ou
want .Idontev enf antasizeorimaginet hatkind
oflif
ef ormy self.Iwi l
lneverwantawi f
eand
kids,awhi tepicketf encedhouseandt hings
l
ikethat .Iam happywi ththewayt hingsar e"
Me"sowhatwasthi
sthenhuhJace?Whyt
he
f
uckwereyouwit
hme? !
"
Jace"becausewi thy ou,Ifel
tnormal f
orsecond,
forasecondIf eltcompl eteandlikeIwasmor e
thanwhatIfeltinsideme.Wi t
hy ouIthoughtI
couldbebetter,dobet terandhav eall
those
thi
ngsthatyouwant .IthoughtthatIwashealed,
Ifor
gotwhoIam, whatIam andwher eIcame
fr
om.Thepai nwashedawayandIf eltli
kea
compl et
ehumanbei ngbutIwasonl yplayi
ng
my sel
fbecausenomat t
erwhatIdo,howhar dI
tr
yorwhoI '
m wit
h..
..
thatpar
tofmewi l
lalway
hauntmeandIdontwantt odragyoui ntothat
wor l
d.Iwantyoutobehappy ,t
ohav eaf amily,
tohav eyourhappi
lyeveraft
er"
Me" Jace..
..
"myv oi
cebroke"pl
easedontdo
this.
..
Idontneedthewhitepi
cketfence,Iwant
you..
.Ineedyou..
.i
tdoesntmatt
er.
..dontl
eave
please,wecanmakei twork.
..
wewi llworki
tout,
fi
gureitouttoget
her.
..
.pl
ease"
Jace" y
outhi
nkthatnow..
.butwhatabouti
nthe
futur
ewheny ourf
eeli
ngschangeandy ou
reali
sethaty
ouwanttobeamom andawi f
e?"
Me"
Jace.
..
..
"
Jace"
Icantl
etyoucompr
omi
seyour
sel
fLena,I
wontl
etyou"t
henwhil
ewewer
etal
ki
ng,Ol
iver
camein
Ol
i
ver"
sir
,it
sti
me"
Jace"t
hanksOl
iver
,takemybagsandIwi
llbe
ri
ghtdown"wat
hathaibagsuOl
i
verandl
eft

Me"
Jace.
..
..
"
Jace"i
tsthebestt hi
ngtodoLena, Iknowit
s
hardri
ghtnowbutev ent
ual
lyyouwi l
lseei
ttoo,
Ipromise"hekissedmyf or
eheadt henashe
wasaboutt oleaveIpull
edhim backbuthe
di
dntev enlookatme
Me" Jace.
...
."hepull
edhisarm andwalkedout
thedoor.Isankonhi sbedandletthetear
sfall
,
Jacehadr eachedintomychestandr i
ppedmy
heartoutthenleftwit
hitandtherewasnothi
ng
Icoulddo.Ilaidonthebed,curl
edint
oabal l
andjustcried 
: '
( 
:'(

_
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___

Zer
o..
..
.
Itwasi nthemiddl eoft henightwhenKwezi
wokemeupscr eami ng,shewasexper ienci
ng
verybadabdomi nal cramps,aweekaf t
erwe
wentf orthesonar .Ijumpedoutofbedand
carri
edheroutt ot hecart hendrov eli
keamad
mant othehospital.Iwasscar edthat
somet hingmighthappent othebaby.Kwezi
hadcompl ai
nedaboutsomedi scomf ortearli
er
duri
ngt hedaybutr efusedandi nsi
stedi twas
nothingwhenIsuggest edwegot othedoct or.
Kwezi"Zusiphe,
I'
m bl
eedi
ng!!
"Shescreamed
andIpanickedtosuchapointwhereIfeltl
i
keI
woulddiefrom ahear
tatt
ack.Ir
acedtot he
hospi
talattopspeed,
prayi
ngthatIgettherei
n
ti
me.

Wearri
vedatthehospital
andIcarri
edherin,
shewasquickl
yattendedtobuttheyref
usedto
l
etmeinwithher.Ipacedaroundthewaiti
ng
area,pray
ingtoGodthatHesavesmychil
d'
s
l
ifeandKwez i'
sli
fet
oobecauseIwoulddi
eif
anythinghappenedt
oeitheroft
hem!

Fi
nall
y,adoct orcamet omeandl edmebackt o
Kwezi'
sr oom.Shewasont hebedl ooki
ngweak
andpale, shewascrying,
sobbingactuall
y.I
wenttosi tnexttoherandpull
edheri nt
omy
arms,Ilookedupatt hedoctorforanswers
abouttheheal t
hofmychi l
dandgi rl
fri
end
Me" wel
l?Arey
ouj
ustgoi
ngtostandther
e
stari
ngatmeorar
eyougoingt
ot el
lmewhati
s
goingon?"
Dr"I
m sorr
yMrPhoswa, y
ourgir
lf
ri
endhada
miscar
ri
age..
..
."i
tfel
tli
ketheroom wascl
osi
ng
i
nonme
Kwezi "I'
m sorr
y,Im sosorry..
..
Ifai
l
edy ou,
I
fai
ledy ou..
..
ZusipheIlostthebaby..
..
Iam so
sorry!Ifai
ledyou...
.If
ail
edy ou"shekept
repeatingthosewor ds,Ir
ockedherbackand
for
thinmyar ms,
feel
ing,
numb,confusedand
hurt
..
..
howcouldthi
shavehappened?Shewas
fi
ne..
..
thebabywasfi
ne 
[
12/
03,
11:
53]Ron:
MyWor
stMi
stake

I
nser
tTwent
yOne

Zer
o..
..
.

Onemont
hlat
er.
..
..

Awhol emonthhadpassedsi nceKwezi andI

l
ostourbaby,thi
ngswer ealreadysodi f
ficul
t
betweenus,i
tdidnthelpthatweal sof
oundout
shecouldneverhavekidsagai n.Itwasahuge
blowtoherandourr el
ati
onshi p.Wesleptin
separat
ebedsandnev ertalked, sheworked
mostofherdayandsodi dI,wecamehome
andr et
reatedt ooursepar atebedr oomsandwe
wouldonl yseeeachi nthekitchenort he
foll
owingdayxasi siyaemsebenzi ni.Kwezi
blamedher selfforl osingthebabybutIdi dnt,i
t
wassomet hingt hatcoul dhav ehappenedt o
anyoneandi twassuchapi tythati thadt o
happent ous, Ithinkt hemostpar tthatkill
ed
herwast hatwecoul dnev ertryagai n,Icouldnt
i
magi neherpai n, shewoul dnev erbeamom t o
herownchi l
d...
.wewoul dnev erbepar entsto
ourownf l
eshandbl ood,exceptf orsur r
ogacy
ofcourse.Itr i
edt oconsol eher ,suppor tandbe
thereforherbutshekeptpushi ngmeaway
everyturn,Ij
ustdi dntknowwhatt odo  :(

Mymom call
edmeonedayatwor k,
Iwas
rel
uct
antt
oanswerbutIendedupanswer
ing
anyway
Me"
Ma?
"
Mom "
Iam comi
ngt
her
etomor
row"
Me"
what
?Mapl
easedontdot
hat
"
Mom "
whynot
?Youneedme"
Me" IdobutKwez ineedst
ime,wecannotpush
herintoanyt
hing.Youcomingher
ewillput
pressureonherandIdontwanthertodo
anythi
ngcrazy"
Mom "butIwil
lbether
etokeepaneyeonher
andmaket hi
ngsri
ghtbet
weenyoutwojustl
i
ke
Idi
dforyouandLena"
Me" mom i t
snotthesamet hing,t
hepainisst
il
l
tooraw. .
..
Lenahad8y ear
stodeal withher
pain.
..
letsgiveKweziali
tt
lemor etimetodeal
withhers.Pleasedontcomejusty et,
whenI
needyouher e,Ipr
omiseIwi l
lcal
ly ou
i
mmedi atel
y"
Mom "
arey
ousur
e?"
Me"
yes"
Mom "okay,sohav
eyouspokent
oLenalatel
y?
I
tseemsl i
keshesgoi
ngthr
oughatoughti
me
t
oo"
Me"yeah,
wetal
kever
yday.
..
.act
ual
l
yshe'
sthe
onekeepi
ngmesaneri
ghtnow"
Mom " good!Ial
waysknewt hetwoofy ouar
e
goodf oreachother
.Sti
cktoget
hermysonand
thetogetheryouwil
lhelpeachotheroutoft
his
darkplaceyou'r
ebothin"
Me"
okaymom,
Ihav
etogo.
..
lov
eyou"
Mom "Iloveyou"shehungandont hatnot
e,I
cal
ledLenabutshedi dntpickupsoImadea
mentaltogoseeheraf terwork,
Ineededsome
companyot herthanmyxbox.Zuxwasv er
y
support
ivetoo,hecamet oCPTof tensoI
supposeitwasntt hatbadbutIreallywas
worri
edaboutKwezi ,
shewassl ippingf
urt
her
andfurt
herawayf rom her sel
f

_
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___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
Lena.
..
..
.

Awhol emont hhadpassedsi nceJacel eftme

andt herewasnotasi ngl
edayt hatpassed
withoutmet hi
nkingabouthim andmi ssinghi m
terr
ibly.Istilll
ovedhim andmyhear tachedf or
him, hewal kedoutofmyl if
eandnev erev en
l
ookedback.Iconst antl
ystalkedhi m onsoci al
medi abuti twasofnohel pbecauseJacei s
pri
v ateper sonandt heonlythingabouthi m on
socialmedi awast henews, hisnewt echnology ,
hisbusi nesses, hi
scharit
ies..
..
ther ewas
nothingt hatcoul dgivemeani ndicati
ont hathe
wasdoi ngwel lwithoutmeormay behewas
j
ustasmi serableasIwaswi t
houtme  : (

Mostday s,
IwouldbesosadIdidntwantt
oget
outbedbutsomeday sIwouldfi
ndsome
str
engthinmeandgot owork,Ist
il
lhadmy
fr
iends,
familyandmybusi
nessmospl usZ
neededme, hehadj ustl osthisbabyandhe
wasi npai n.Ineeded, Iwant edt obest rongfor
thebot hofusbutt heonet hingIlov edabout
ourf r
iendship,wasourabi l
it
ytoacceptour
l
owsandgett hrought hem t ogether.Ev en
thoughsomet i
meswebot hfelttheneedt obe
strongf oroneanot her, somet imeswewoul d
j
ustsi tandwal low,comi serati
ngt ogether.
Whatar ebestf riendsf orr i
ght?

IwasonceagaininbedwhenLukacameinwi
th
atr
ayoffood.Isatupandsmil
edfai
ntl
yashe
pl
acedthetr
ayinfrontofme
Me"
thanky
ou"
Luka"y
ou'rewelcomeangel"hegav emea
sympatheti
csmi l
eandIhateditbutwhatcoul
d
Ido?Iwasbei ngsooopat
hetic 
: (
 "
Ihat
e
seei
ngy ouli
kethis"
Me"Ihat
eseei
ngmy
sel
fli
ket
oobutImi
ss
hi
m :( 
"
Luka"
Iknowhoney
,Iknow"
Me"
Ishoul
dgetov
erhi
m ne?
"
Luka"giv
ey our
selft
imeLens,weall
knowhow
muchy oulovedtheguyandthaty
ousti
ll
lov
e
hi
m.Youcantf li
paswitch,
itsonl
ybeena
month"
Me" Ifeel
sost upidDeluka,Ifel
l forhi
m, I
thoughtIcouldchangehi m, Itr
iedt ochange
him butIfai
led,helef
tme. ..
.Idontknowhowt o
l
etgo, howt ogetridofthisachingpai ninmy
heart.Imisshim somuchi thurts"
Luka"Lena..
..
"hecamet osi tnexttomeand
wrappedhisarmsar oundme" youdonthaveto
fi
gureital
loutrightaway,youcant akeyour
ti
mesweet heart.Dontbadgey oursel
f,y
ouare
notstupi
datall.Thiswil
lgetbet t
erinti
me
okay?"Inodded
Z"
knockknock"webot
hlookedatthedoorand
Zwasstandi
ngther
esmil
ing"hey
"
Luka"
hey
!Youcant
akei
tfr
om her
e"
Z"thanksman"LukagotupwaphumaandZ
camei nwahl
alaonthebed

Z"
howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
"
Me"
li
kecr
apandy
ou?
"
Z"
li
kecr
ap"Ichuckl
ed
Me"
youwantsome?
"
Z"sure,Icouldeat"Imovedasi
decreat
ing
spaceforhim, hedidntwast
eti
me,wangena
ezi
ngubeni nam andweat ei
nsil
ence
Me"howlongdoy
out
hinkwe'
regoi
ngt
ofeel
l
iket
his?
"
Z"
Ithi
nki
tsgoi
ngt
otakeawhi
l
e"
Me"
Ihat
eit
"
Z"
met
oo"
Me"
how'
sKwezi
?"
Z"
Iwi
shIknewLens,
shest
il
lwontt
alkt
ome"
Me" ever
yonekeepssayi
ngtogiveittime,i
ts
beenamont halr
eadybutIsupposey ouguys
needmor eti
me.Sheisprobabl
ysufferingmore
thanthetwoofcombined"
Z"yeah,shesbl
amingher
sel
fforevery
thingand
Idontknowhowt omakeherseethatit
snot
herfaul
t"
Me"youcant,
onedayKweziwi
llf
orgi
veher
sel
f
andt
herealheal
i
ngprocesswi
l
lbegin"
Z"heal
i
nghuh?I
tseemsl
i
kesuchamy
thr
ight
now"
Me" i
tssur
edoes"webothsighedloudl
yandI
rest
edmyheadonhi sshoul
der"butwesti
ll
haveeachotherr
ight
?"
Z"wesur edo"thenwesighedagai
n,sahl
ala
siyekel
eleubusokul
obhedi
..
..
haymaralif
eis
tough :-/
_
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___

Zer
o..
..
.

Afterspendingaf ul
ltwohour swit
hLena, I
grudgi ngl
ydrovebackt othef l
at,
itfeltso
empt yev enthoughKwezi wasstil
lthere.I
mi ssedhersomuchandt herewer eday swhen
Ijustwant edtohol dherinmyar ms, kissher
painawayandt el
lherhowmuchIl ovedher .
Thatdayf el
tli
keoneoft hoseday s,Iwant edto
tellherthatitwasnttheendoft hewor ldand
wecoul dsti
llhaveaf amil
y,ther
ear ethousands
ofchi ldr
enoutt herewhoneedgoodhomesand
wewoul dbet hetwol ovi
ngpeoplet ogi vethose
childrenhomes.

Ipar
kedthecarandranupst
air
stoourfl
at,I
fl
ungthedooropenandshewasintheki
tchen,
Iwentov
ert
oherandpul
l
edheri
nmyar
ms
Me" i
tsnoty ourfaul
tKwez i
,youdidntfailmeor
ourchil
d.Yout ookcareofyour sel
fandy ou
l
ovedourbaby ,t
hisi
ssomet hingthatistragic
andunfortunatebutpleasedontblamey ourself
anymore.Ilovey ouandwecanst i
lldothis,we
canstil
lmakei twork..
.j
ustyouandme. .
.please
dontpushmeawayany more,ithurt
s..
.Iwantt o
hol
dy ouli
ket hisandneverletgo"shedi dntsay
athi
ngandj ustpushedme, hereyeswer er ed
andwat er
y
Kwezi"I
m goingbackhomeZusiphe,
Iqui
tmy
j
obtoday,myplaneleaveat8:
30toni
ght
.My
mom iswait
ingforme"
Me"
what
?Whatdoy
oumeany
ou'
rel
eav
ing?
"
Kwezi"
Icantst
ayher
eandbewit
hyou.Idont
feel
womanenoughtobewit
hyou"
Me" womanenough?Whatar
eyout
alki
ng
about?"
Kwezi"Il
ostourbaby,Il
ostmyabilit
ytohave
ki
ds,Iwil
lnevergi
veyouapr operfamil
y.Icant
dothattoyou,Iwontdothattoyou"
Me"Kwezi,Idontcar
eaboutt
hat.Ij
ustwantus
t
obeokay ,havi
ngachil
disnotevenonmy
mindr
ightnow"
Kwezi "butit
sonmi ne!ThefactthatIwill
never
carrymyownchi ldiskil
li
ngmeandt hatsa
burdenIhav etocarryonmyown, Icantexpect
yout ocarryitwi
thme"Istaredatheri n
disbeli
ef,i
twaslikeshesspeakingaf orei
gn
l
anguage, myhear twasraci
ngandIf el
tIwas
l
osingherf ast
Me" weareinthi
stogetherKwezi!I
tsour
burden,i
fit
saburdentheni t
sourburden!I
ts
nottheendoftheworld,ther
earesomanyway
tohavechil
drennow..
.adopti
on..
.wecanhavea
famil
y!Youcangivemeaf amil
y!
"Sheshook
herhead
Kwezi
"Iam set
ti
ngy
ouf
reesoy
oucangobe
wit
ht heoneyour
eall
ylov
e"It
ookast
epback,
shockedbyherwords
Me"
what
?"
Kwezi "yazi Zusi phe, foral ongt imei nour
rel
ati
onshi p, Ial way sf elty ouhol dingback, l
ike
youwer entgi vingmey oural l,t
her ewas
somet hingy ouf eltwasmi ssing, Ialway sf el t
l
ikeyouwer ewai tingf orsomeoneandt he
minuteImetLena, Iknewshewast heper son
youhady ourhear thol dingourf or ,shewast he
missingpi ecei ny ourl i
f e.Shewast her eason,
youdi dntgi v emey oural l,shewast heper son
youwer ewai tingf orbutt hent her ewasme, you
fel
tsor ryf ormesoy oust ay edthenIf ell
pregnantandi twasev enmor er easonf ory ou
tostay .Itriedt of ool my selfintot hinkingIwas
onlyimagi ningi tbutev er ytimeIsawy ou
together ,ther ewast hisundeni abl echemi st ry
betweeny out wo.Youl ookatheri nawayt hatI
havenev erseeny oul ookatany bodybef or e.I
tri
edtohol dont oy oubutIwasonl yf ooling
mysel
f.NowIam set t
ingyoufreetogobewith
t
hewomany outrul
yloveandshewi l
lgi
veyoua
f
amily
"Icouldntevenspeak,Iwasntsurei
fit
wasbecauseshewasspeaki ngthetrut
horI
washurt
ingthatshewasl eavi
ngme
Me"
Kwezi
..
..
."
Kwezi"
Icantbeher
eanymoreZusi phe,
ithur
ts
toev
enlookatyou,
Icantbeari
t..
.Iwanttogo
home,Pl
easeletmego"Iswall
owedt helump
i
nmyt hr
oat
Me"fi
ne,i
fyouwanttorunlikeacowardthen
r
unKwezi..
.r
unandneverlookback!"If
elt
mysel
fgett
ingangr
yatherwor ds,
howdar eshe
makeupmymi ndli
kethatforme!
Kwezi
"what
?"
Me" youheardme!Forawholemont hyouhave
beenshut t
ingmeoutanddrowningyoursel
fin
sel
fpityandblamebecauseyouaretoomuch
ofacowar dtofacethedeat
hofourchil
d,
acceptitandmov eon!Youwanttobestuckin
thi
sonepl acebecausey ou'retooscar edt o
takeast epf or war d!Ifyouwantt oleav et hen
l
eav ebutdonty oudar epretendt haty ou' re
doingt hisf ormebecausey ou'renot !I tsal lfor
you..
..youcannott ellmewhatI mt hinki ngor
feeli
ngbecausey oudontknow, younev er
botheredt oask.YouknowwhatI 'vedoi ngt he
wholet imey ou' vebeenl i
vingi ny ourl i
ttle
bubbleofsel fpi t
yandpat heticmi sery ?Ihav e
beenr i
ghther e, r
ighther ewai ti
ng. ..
.wai tingf or
yout ocomebackt osowecoul ddeal wi thit
together ,Ihav ebeengi vi
ngy out i
me, eachday
wakingupandcomi nghopi ngt haty ouwoul d
tal
kt omeandl etmei n.AllIhav ewant edt odo
i
shol dy oui nmyar msandt elly out hatIam
here,thatIl ov ey ouandt hatev erythingwi llbe
okaybutwena. ...
youwantt ot alkaboutLena?
You'ret ell
ingmewhoIl ove, you'reshov ingme
i
ntoherar msbecausey ou'rescar ed?Thenf i
ne
Kwezi .
..gohome. .
.gobewi thy ourmot herand
haveani cel ife!"Ileftherther eandst ormedof f
t
omyr
oom.

Iwassoangr yndandi shaker, Kwezi hadhur t

anddi sappoi nt
edme.Ihear dherl eav eaf t
era
whi lesigqi bothetha.Igotupnday at oour
bedr oom andshehadpackedev erythingof
her s,leavingnot hingekungey akhe, not hingfor
met or ememberherbyexceptourbed, thebed
weusedt omakel ovein,cuddle, t
alkandpl ay
i
n....Istaredati tforalongt i
me, Ifeltat wisti
ng
paini nmyhear tasIsawanot ebesi demy
bedsi det able,Iopenedi tandi tread" I
'm sorry"
.
Thatwasi t!Iwasgoi ngt ocomehomeandf ind
hergone, andnot hingbutsomest upidf li
msy
pieceofpapert hatsaidI'm sor r
y!Icl utchedit
tomychest ,
layingonmybackandl ett hetears
fall
, askingmy selfhowev erythingwentso
wr ongi nt heblinkofaney e 
: (

_
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
Lena.
..
..
..

Oneweekl
ater
..
..

Me"howpatheti
carewethatwebot
hgot
dumpedinexact
lythesameway?
"Isai
dtoZ,
aswedrankourbluesawayi
nabar
Z"Icannotbeli
eveiteit
her.Jacei
sinNewYor
k,
Kwezibacki nEastLondon..
..
andher
eweare,
l
iketwof ool
sdrinki
nginabar .Weareso
pathet
ic"Ichuckl
ed
Me"Ist
il
lstalkhi
m onsoci
almedia,j
usttosee
howhe'
sdoi ngandeachti
me,Ifeelapangin
myheartbecauseheseemsgreat"
Z"
ever
ythi
ngi
nthef
latr
emi
ndsmeofher
"
Me"
whenar
eyoumov
ingany
way
?"
Z"
nextweek"
Me"
okay
"
Z"
whatar
ewegoi
ngt
odoLens?
"
Me" wearegoingtof i
ndawayf or
ward.They
l
eftandthereisnothingwecando.Letusnot
becowardslikethem andl
ettheseobstacl
es
andchal
lengesdef i
neus"
Z"yes!Il
i
ket
hat
!Letusbef
ight
ers!Wecando
t
his!
"
Me"
yeswecanbecausey
ouknowwhy
?"
Z"
wehav
eeachot
herandwear
est
rong!
"
Me"
that
sri
ght
!"
Us"fi
ght
ing!
"Wesai
dinunisont
hem cl
i
nked
ourgl
assesogqi
basasel
a. 
Me"
youknowwhatIf
eel
li
kedoi
ng?
"
Z"
what
sthat
?"
Me"danci
ng!Ij
ustwanttogooutsomewher
e
wi
thloudmusicanddancetheni
ghtaway
"
Z"
Ili
kei
t!Let
scal
lanuber
,Iam notdr
ivi
ng
t
oni
ght
!"
Me"
wai
t.
..
who'
scardi
dwecomewi
thher
e?"
Z"
wewal
ked.
..
.i
tscl
oset
omyf
lat
..
.It
hink"
Me"
dudewher
ethef
uckar
ewe?
"
Z" l
etsask..
..
"hecall
edthebartender,hetold
usthenameoft hebarandthestreet.Webot h
l
aughedcosi twasnowherecloset ohisplace,
wehadwal kedsuchalongdist
ancecoswe
start
eddrinkingashi
splacebeforedecidingto
takeawal k

Theuberdr
iverpi
ckedusupfrom thebar,
it
wasalr
eadydark.Hetookustolongstr
eet,
wher
ewepar ti
edunti
lthebr
eakofdawnt hen
wewenttosleepoverathi
splace.

Thefol
lowi
ngmor ni
ngwasnotagoodone, my
bodywasachingandIhadtheemotherofal
l
hangov
ers.Ist
umbledoutofther
oom tothe
ki
tchenwhereImadecof
feef
orus,
Zjoi
nedme
acoupleofminut
esl
ater
Z"l
astni
ghtwasepi
c!"Hesai
d,ashet
ookhi
s
cof
feeandsatdown
Me"
itr
eal
l
ywas,
weneededt
hat
"
Z"wereal
l
ydi
dbutnowIf
eel
li
keshi
t!
"I
l
aughed
Me"makest
woofusbutIdof
eel
bet
teri
n
ot
herar
eas"
Z"
real
l
y?"
Me" yes, ImeantwhatIsai
dy est
erday.Idont
wannabesadany moreZ,Idontwantt obea
cowar d.Iwantfacetheworldagain,Icanthi
de
forev
er .Jaceisoutt
hereli
vinghisli
fewhycant
I?"
Z"you'r
eright
.Eventhoughitst
il
lhurt
s,Imust
dealwithi
theadonandmov eonwi t
hmyl i
fe
too.Letusnotletourt
roubl
esdefineus!
"
Us"
fi
ght
ing!
"Wesai
dinuni
sont
henl
aughed
Me"great!Sowhat
sthepl
an?Wecandot
his
t
ogether"
Us"atl eastwest i
l
lhaveeachot her!
"We
l
aughedagai n"j
i
nxy ouowemeacoke! "We
sai
di tatthesamet i
me" heyquitt
hat!"Wedi d
againandl aughed" whoaaa"saphindafut
hi and
i
tjustbecamecr eepy.Ishruggedmyshoul ders
anddr ankmycof f
ee
Z"st
art
ingwi
thmymov
e!"Hef
inal
l
ysai
d,I
smil
ed
Me"
fol
l
owedbyat
ri
ptoLA!
"
Z"
what
?"
Me" y
eahIwantt ogoseemyparent
sand
Auggie!Takesomeleaveoffwor
kandwecan
takealit
tl
eholi
day.Li
ketheonewetooki
n
Miami"
Z"y
ouwantmet ogoseey
ourdad?He'
l
lki
l
l
me!"Il
aughed
Me"
hewont
,Ihav
efor
giv
eny
ouandIal
way
s
si
ngy
ourpr
aisessohe'
scool
?"
Z"yousur
e?CosIdontwanthimtocomeatme
withabut
cherkni
feorsomet
hing"Il
aughed
kakhul
uunti
lmyheadhurt
Me"but
cherkni
fe?Toomucht
vfory
oumi
ster
"
hel
aughedtoo
Z"
wel
lav
acat
ionwoul
dbeni
ce"
Me" morelikeaf
riendcati
onhuh..
..
eeehhh
eeeehhh 
; ) 
;)
 #wink #wink"helookedatme
l
ikeI'
m crazy
Z"
what
?"
Me"aaahhhnevermi
nd 
-_
- 
Iseeusabamba
kadenangoku"
Z"
hahahawhat
?"Il
aughed
Me"youhear
dme!Any
waysoi
tsay
esont
he
LAt
ri
p?"
Z"yes,funnyisnti
t,y
out
ookmeonmyfi
rst
ov
er seastri
pandnowmysecondt
ri
piswit
h
y
ouagai
n"
Me" j
acausey
ouknowyoust
il
lneedmet
ohol
d
yourhandont
hepl
anemrcouraget
he
cowardl
ydog!
"Hel
aughed
Z"
what
?That
sal
i
e!"
Me"
ohisitnow?Youhady
ourey
escl
oseshut
t
hewhol
et i
methepl
anewast
aki
ngof
f"
Z"I
twasmyfir
stt
imebutIhav
ehadmor
e
pr
acti
cenow"
Me"
weshal
lseeaboutt
hat
 :
) 
"
Z"
weshal
l
 :
) 
"
Me"
let
sor
dersomebr
eakf
ast
,Iam st
arr
ving!
"
Z"
cool
,Iwi
l
lmaket
hecal
l
"
Me" andIwil
ltakeashower "weputourempt y
cupsinthesi
nkt henhewantt ohisroom andI
ret
reatedt
othespar ebedroom andtooka
showerbefor
eweat e.
..
.i
treall
ywastimeto
makeachangeandl iv
elif
et othef
ull
est
 
[
12/
03,
11:
55]Ron:
MyWor
stMi
stake

I
nser
tTwent
yThr
ee

Lena.
..
..

Thedaybef
oreweweresupposedtol
eav eLA,
ZandIdeci
dedtogotoNewYor k,
Iwantedto
checkonmybouti
queandal
sowewant edto
att
endaChri
sBrownconcer
t!

Iwaswokenupbysmal lhandssl
appi
ngmy
face,
Irel
uct
ant
lyopenedmyey estoasmi
l
ing
Auggieonmybed
Me" Auggi
ee.
..
.ser
iously!
!"It
urnedtofacet he
otherwayandhejumpedonme" August!!
!"He
pull
edmyhairandscr eamedi nt
omyear ,
Ihad
nochoicebutt
owakeup.Hel dhiminpl aceand
hesmiledatme,Ismil
edtoo" okayI'
m up!You
hungr
y? "Hest
aredatme" l
etsgogety ousome
foodt
hen"Igotoutofbedandmademi nethen
Auggi
eandIwentdownst air
st otheki
tchen.
Mar
iawasal
readyi
nther
emaki
ngbr
eakf
ast
Me"
mor
ningMar
ia"shet
urned
Mar
ia"
mor
ningmi
a,ar
eyoual
ri
ght
?"
Me" If
eelgr
eat
!Andy
ou?How'
syour
daughter
?"
Mari
a"shesgreatmissLena,
shewi
l
lbe
gr
aduati
nghighschoolsoon"
Me"
that
samazi
ng 
:)
 "
Mari
a"so,wher
eisyourboy
fri
end?Hest
il
l
sl
eepi
ng?"Igi
ggl
ed
Me"
boy
fri
end?Mar
ia!He'
sjustmyf
ri
end"
Mar
ia"
oh?Butitl
ookslikehel
i
kesmi
ssLenaa
l
otmor
ethanjustafr
iend"
Me"
whatdoy
oumean?
"
Mari
a"Iseewayhel
ooksaty
ou, andIseehow
youl
ookathim,y
ouli
kehi
mt oo"Iblushed
Me"
Mar
ia.
..
..
"
Mari
a"y
outwowi
llbeveryhappytoget
her
,you
wi
ll
havebi
gandbeaut
ifulf
amily
" 
Me"
real
l
y?"
Mar i
a"yes,heissoulmate"mysmil
efadedas
mymi nddrift
edaway ,ZandI?Soul
mat es?
Whatwashappeni ng?ZandIhadbeenona
dateanditwassoawkwar d,webarel
ysaida
wordsowedeci dedtojustbef
ri
endsandnev er
crossthatbri
dge.Sowhatwasi tt
hatpeople
wereseeingandwewer enot?
Mari
a"mi
ssLena?"Il
ookedather"
youf
eed
hi
m?"Il
ookedatAuggi
e
Me"ofcour
se"shegav
emehi
sfoodandIf
ed
hi
m.

Af
terbr
eakf
ast
,ZandIsai
dourpai
nful
goodbyestothefamil
ythenmydadwentt
o
dropusoffattheai
rport
Dad"okay
,youki
dsbegoodt
oeachot
her
okay
?"
Me"yesdaddy"Ihuggedhim agai
n"andyou
t
akecareofyoursel
fandtheothersokay
?"
Dad"
ofcour
sebaby
,Iwi
l
lmi
ssy
ousomuch"
Me"Iwi
l
lvi
sitagai
nsoon,
ormaybey
ouguy
s
wi
l
lcometomenextt i
me :
) 
"
Dad"maybe"wehuggedagai
nthenhesai
d
goodby
etoZandwewer eoff.

Wearri
vedatJFK,
adriv
erwast
her
etopi
ckus
upanddri
veustotheai
rpor
t
Z"
youknow,
Icoul
dgetusedt
othi
ski
ndofl
i
fe"
Me"
whatdoy
oumean?
"
Z"t
heint
ernat
ional
tri
ps,
thedr
iver
s..
.al
lof
i
t 
:) 
"
Me"
wel
lyouwi
l
lgett
her
e"
Z"hahawellnowthatIhav
ehadat
ast
eofi
t,I
wantitsobadly
"
Me"y
eah,
itgetslonel
ythough.WhenIwas
gr
owi
ngup,Ihatedital
l"
Z"Icanimagi
ne,
Iwasl
onel
yandIdi
dnthav
e
anyofthi
s"
Me" wel
li
tsagoodt hi
ngwefoundeachot her
then 
:) 
"wesmi l
edateachotherandIfel
tmy
heartr
aci
ng,whatthefudgewashappeningto
me!!Iqui
ckl
yturnedawaytolookatthewindow
"Il
oveNewYor k!
"
Z"
yeah?What
ssof
unabouti
t?"
Me"
you'
l
lsee!
"mysmi
l
ewi
dened
Z"
thatscar
esme"
Me"we'r
egonnagett ot
helof
tinManhatt
an,
getal
it
tl
erest,
freshent
henJavierwi
l
lcome
backt
ofetchusfortheChr
isBrownconcert
"
Z"Ist
il
lcantbel
i
eveI
'
m goi
ngt
oseeChr
is
Br
ownl i
ve!
!"
Me"
funt
imeshuh?
"
Z"somuchf un!
"Il
aughed,Ilov
edZbutIwasnt
surebaitwassomucht hatIwant
eda
rel
ati
onshi
p.

Wear r
ivedatthelof
tintheuppereastsi
de,
we
unpackedthentookalit
tlepowernapsowe
coul
dwakeupf r
eshforChrisBreezy
!!

WhenIwokeup, i
twasdar koutside,Igotoutof
bedndayaeki t
chen,ndagoqozakhonat ryi
ngto
fi
ndsomet hi
ngbutt henithitme, noonehad
beenli
vi
ngt hereformont hs,wher ewouldthe
foodcomef rom?Ipi ckedupmyphoneand
madeaqui ckcallforfood.Iturnedont hetv
andthefi
rstpersonIsawwasJace, hewasat
somegall
adi nnerorsomet hing,lookingas
str
iki
nglyhandsomeasev er.If
eltapai ni
nmy
heartandhehadt hi
sgorgeousbr unett
ebyhis
si
de, wasthatthenewwomani nhi slif
e..
..
.my
questionwasansweredast hereporterasked
hi
mt hatexactsamequesti
on
Jace"wel
l
,let
sjustsay
..
..
amancanneverdi
e
al
one.Heneedssomeonet ocomehometo
ri
ght?
"
Repor
ter"
ofcour
se"
Brunette"weareveryhappyt oget
her!!
"She
squealedhappil
yandhel dont i
ghtertohim.I
fel
tsicktomyst omachsoIj ustfl
oppedont he
couch,Jacehadal r
eadymov edon!Ittr
ulywas
ahar dpil
ltoswall
ow, Iswit
chedthechannel to
cartoonnetworkandwat chedcartoonsinstead.
Istart
edlaughi
ngandt hepainofJacedat i
ng
someoneel sedisappeared

Z"st
il
lqui
tethecar
toonloverIsee?"It
urnedto
l
ookathim,hewasstandingbehindmesmi li
ng
Me"
Iwi
l
lnev
erbet
oool
dforcar
toons"
Z"t
hatmakest
woofus!
"Hecametositnex
tto
meandwewatchedt
oget
her"
aaahhI
m
st
arvi
ng!
"
Me"Ior
der
edsomeChi
nese,
theguywi
l
lbe
her
eanyminut
e"
Z"
Chi
nesehuh?
"
Me"
yep!You'
l
llov
eit
,Ipr
omi
se"
Z"okaywel
lyouknowIam al
way
sopent
o
t
ryi
ngnewthings"
Me" t
hatsmaguy !
"Helaughed.Wecar r
iedon
watchingthent hefoodfinall
yar ri
ved,Ipaidthe
guyandwest artedeati
ng.Wespentagood30
minuteslaughingbecauseZcoul dnteatwith
thechopsticks,Iwast r
yingtot eachhim butit
washopel ess.Sowef i
nall
ygav eup, satya
sagqibathensay olungi
saf ortheconcer t.We
hadVI Pti
ckets!
Afterwashi ngup, Iopt edt owearmybl ack
ri
ppedski nnyjeans, sneaker s,abl ackcr opt op
alongwi thaanov ersizeddeni m shi r
t.Iletmy
hairhangl ooseandusedni ghtt i
memakeup.I
shov edal lmyessent ialsintomybagt henwent
tof i
ndZusi phe.Iknockedi nhi sr oom t hen
enteredengat shongo, hewashal fnaked. ..
.wel
l
hewaswear i
ngjusthi sundi es,thel asttimeI
sawZusi phenakedwas8y earsagowhenwe
wer edat ing,hehadagoodbodybackt henf or
an18y earoldbutnowhehadt hebodyofa26
yearol dmanandIcoul dntst opmy selffrom
admi ringhi m,whilef eelingat i
nglet hroughout
mybody ,thesamet ingleIusedt of eel
whenev erJacewasar ound.DamnIwast urned
on...
.justlikethat!Justbyseei ngZhal fnaked, I
wasf eeli
ngheat edandIcoul dfeel mycheeks
turningr ed
Z"
Lens,
isev
ery
thi
ngokay
?"
Me"I-
I.
..
.y
eah!Iuh.
..
.Ij
ustcamet
ocheckupon
you,
uh..
..
ndi
ready"
Z"
okay
!Beouti
naf
ew!
"
Me" okay!
"Iclosedthedoorandstoodbesi
dei
t
fanni
ngmy self,whati
ntheworldwas
happening?!

WhenZwasdoneget tingdressed,wewentout
tothecarwai ti
ngf orus.Jav ierdroveust othe
concer tandwej ustsatt here,waiti
ngfor
concer ttostart.Itwasawkwar donceagai n
betweenus, Idontknowi fi
twasbecauseIwas
havingv erydirt
yt hought saboutmybestf ri
end.
Icouldntgethi sper f
ectsixpackoutofmy
mind.Myhandswer eshaking,theywant edto
beal loverhim, myl i
pswer edryandIwas
runningoutofoxy genbecausemyhear twas
thumpi ngv i
olentlyagai nstmyr ibcage.Ili
cked
myl i
psandopenedmymout hal i
tt
letotakein
quickershor ter
sbr eaths,whatwasZdoi ngto
me?
Theconcer tfi
nallyst artedandal lsexual feeli
ng
dir
ectedatZwer esuddenl yredi r
ect edt oChr is
Brown.Themani saf reakinsuper st ar!Wewer e
soclosetohi m Icoul dal mosttouchhi m!Chr is
Brownt r
ulyisoneoft hegr eatestper former s
thateverli
ved!Thatv oi ce,thosedancemov es?
Theycouldmakepant iesdr opwi thinami leor
minuteofseei nghi m.Iwasuponmyf eet,
screamingmyl ungsoutandhav i
ngt het i
meof
myl i
fe.Dancingal ongwi t
hhi m andIwasso
happyIchoset odr esscomf ort
ablybecauseI
wasabl etomov eeasi ly .HeeeIf eltlikeIwasi n
someki ndofdr eam, Itwasntmyf irstt i
meata
ChrisBrownconcer tbutev erysingl et i
me
ndimbona, Ij
ustf eltweakatt heknees.Iev en
mett heguyonce, Idressedhi sdancer sbefore
andher eall
yisacool guy ,Iwas. .
.phof uIam hi s
ult
imatefan!

Iwasuponmyfeettheminut
ehesteppedon
st
ageunt
ilt
heconcertwasov
erkwangona
ndi
hlal
aphant
si,
myf
eethur
tbutIdi
dntcar
e
Z"
wow!Yout
rul
yar
ehi
sul
ti
mat
efan!
"
Me"
youbety
ourassIam!
"
Z"y
oudoreal
i
sethatyoudidntsitdownfrom
t
heminut
ehesteppedonthatstageright
?"
Me"
yeah!That
showmuchIl
ovehi
m"
Z"wow!Icanthelpbutfeel
ali
ttl
ejeal
oust
hen!
"
Il
ookedathim andhejustl
aughed
Me"
arey
our
eadyf
ort
hebestpar
t?"
Z"
andt
hati
s?"
Me"
meet
ingChr
isBr
own"hej
umpedup
Z"
youwer
eser
iousaboutt
hat
?"
Me"
aaahhhl
ookwhosget
ti
ngexci
tednow"
Z"thatsbecauseIhavenevermetan
i
nternati
onalsuper
starbef
ore"
Me"uhhuh.
..
.andi
tsnotbecauseyouoncehad
agi
antpost
erofhi
mi nyourbedroom?"
Z"hahahaohpl
ease,
yout
hinkI
m st
il
lhangi
ng
ontothat
?"
Me" we'l
lsee.
..
comeon!"Igrabbedhisarm and
mybagsaphumasay aeback.Thebouncerlet
usinandIbumpedi nt
ohismanager ,theguy
knewmet oo,l
i
keIsai
dbefor e,
Idressedhi
s
dancers 
: )

Whi l
eIwast alki
ngtohismanager ,Chris
showedupandshowedmesomel ov
e, I
i
nt r
oduceduZandt heboywast onguet i
ed,he
couldbarelygetawor dout, i
twassocut eand
funnyatthesamet i
me.Chr isinvi
tedust ohis
clubfortheaf t
erpart
yandIwoul dnev ersayno
topartyi
ngwi thChri
sBreezy !Sowhent heylef
t,
wef oll
owedwi thOli
veri
nt hecar .Wear ri
vedat
theclubandwer eusher
edi ntotheVIPsect i
on.
Drinki
ng,dancingandpar t
yingwi thma
boy .
..
Chri
sBr own!Funtimes! !
 :D :D
Bytheti
meZandIgothome, itwasal
readythe
breakofdawn,wewer esuperdrunkandhungry.
Wehador deredsomef astfoodonourway
backsosafikasahl
alaont hecouchandate
Me"
Ihav
eaconf
essi
on"
Z"
met
oo.
..
buty
oust
art
"
Me"whenIsawyounakedear
li
er,
Igotal
i
ttl
e
t
urnedon"hel
aughed
Z"
real
l
y?"
Me"yes,
youhaveanamazi
ngbodyZandI
wontl
ieandsayIdi
dntf
eel
someatt
ract
ion"
Z"well
thatsunder
standabl
e,
 i
tisar
eal
l
ygr
eat
body
"Ilaughedandnodded
Me"
okayokay
,tel
lmey
ourt
hing"
Z"okay
..
..
"hegavemeanint
enselook"
Ihav
e
beenwanti
ngtoki
ssyoual
lni
ght"
Me"
youhav
e?"
Z"
yes,
from t
hemi
nut
eyoust
art
eddanci
ngand
scr
eamingatChr i
sBr own,
Ifel
tal
i
ttl
ejeal
ous,
I
wantedtopull
y oudownandkissyouti
lly
ou
for
getabouthim"Ilaughed
Me"
thatwoul
dhav
ebeenhot
!"
Z"
soshoul
dIhav
edone?
"
Me"
may
be"
Z"
woul
dyouhav
eli
kemet
odoi
t?"
Me" letsf indout "Imov edclosertohim andhe
metmehal fway ,ourli
pst ouched,mylips
partedf irstandt hekissbegan.Atf ir
stitwas
shaky ,ithadbeenal mostadecadesi ncet hi
s
happened, Iwasner vousandf air
lydrunk.After
awhi le,hepul l
edmecl osertohim andt hekiss
deepened, wewer enowbot hsureitwaswhat
wewant ed, Imov edbackandpul l
edhim closer
tome, Ilaidonmybackont hefloorandhewas
ontopofme.Weki ssedf oralongt i
me, sl
owl y
str
ippingeachot hernakedt henwest opped, I
l
ookedathi m andhel ookedatmewi thalookI
hadnev erseenbef ore
Z"Il
ovey
ouLena"Iwast
akenabackbyhi
s
words
Me"
what
?"
Z"Ihavelovedy ousincewewer e18andIhav e
neverstopped,havi
ngy ouhere,ri
ghtnowinmy
armshaspr oventomet hatnomat t
erhow
manyKwezi 'scomei ntomyl i
fe,
youwi l
lal
ways
bethatthingIalwaysfeltl
ikewasmi ssi
ngin
myl i
fe"
Me"
butZ.
..
wepr
omi
sed"t
ear
sfl
oodedmyey
es
Z"Iknowbutt
hat
sjusthowIf
eel
andIjust
t
houghtit
sti
meyouknew"Iwast
houghtf
ulfor
amoment
Me"thenmaybeI.
..
.maybeIl
oveyoutoo"we
bot
hf el
lsi
l
ent"
whatarewegoingtodo?"
Z"Idontknow"Ilai
donhi schest
,heki
ssedmy
f
oreheadandwr appedhisarmsaroundme
whil
eIletthesi
l
enttearsfal
l
Thef ollowingday ,wewokeupont hefl
oor,
tooksepar ateshower sandconf i
rmedour
booki ngforthef l
ightbackhome.Iwasdy i
ng
from ahangov erandsowashe.Wesati nthe
kitchendr i
nkingcof f
ee,chat
ti
ngcasuallyafter
wedeci dednott otakeourdrunken
conv ersati
ont oheartandsaveitforthefuture
whenwear ebot hsurebanaitswhatweneedi n
ourl i
ves
Z"
thanky
ouf
ort
hisLens"
Me"
anyt
imebabe"
Z"i
treal
lyhelpedme,Ineededat
imeoutand
nowIfeelready"Ismi
led
Me"metoo!Let
sgohomeandt
akeont
he
wor
ldagai
n"
Z"
ourpl
ani
scomi
ngal
onggr
eat
"
Me"Iknow..
.wedidit!Wefacedourprobl
ems
headon,wedidntrunli
keourcowardl
ypartner
s
andwedidntlett
heobstaclesdef
ineus.Weare
v
eryawesomepeopl
e"
Z"
hahahai
ndeedwear
e!Idontwantt
oleav
e!"
Me"
hahanextt
imeI
'
llt
akey
out
oPar
is"
Z"youhav
eli
vedy
ouknowt hatLens?Most
peopl
ecanonl
ydr
eam oft
het r
avell
ingy
ou'
ve
done"
Me"well
itwasnov
acat
ionbutIam wel
l
t
rav
ell
ed"
Z"
whatdi
dyoudo?
"
Me"
when?
"
Z"wheny
oul
eft
,8y
ear
sago?
"It
ookadeep
br
eath
Me" uh.
..
wel lImov edtoSeat tl
ewher eI
graduatedf rom highschool t
henIt alkedtomy
fatheraboutf ashionschool ,hewassogui l
ty
thatheagr eedal mosti mmedi ately.Iwentt o
Par i
s,Istayedther efor4y ears,study i
ngthenI
wor kedatthemostpr est
igiousf ashionhouse.I
spentay eart herethenImov edt oItaly,Il
i
vedin
Romef orawhilethenIwentt oMi l
an..
..
.af
ter
 a
yeari
nMi l
an,Niko,LukaandIwentbackt othe
stat
eswher eweopenedt heveryfi
rstChaoti
c,
ther
ewassuchabuzzt hatwehadt oopenone
i
nLA, Il
eftthestat
esagai ntoopenanot her
bouti
queinMi l
an,Istayedthereforacoupleof
months.IwantedtodoPar i
sbutIwant ed
SouthAfri
caevenmor esoIwentback"
Z"wow!Youwer eabusygi r
l ne?thatti
me,I
wasbusyfool
ingaroundinv arsi
ty,Ionl
ygotmy
actt
oget
herwhenIwasi nmy3r dyear.
..
so
cl
osetotheendandt hedream"
Me"well
ital
lwor
kedout
!Wear
ewher
ewe
wantt
obe"
Z"
tr
uet
hat
!"
Me"weshoul
dgetgoingi
fdontwantt
obel
ate,
westi
l
lhavet
odropinatt
hestore"
Z"ofcourse"wefi
nishedourcoff
ee,
Iri
nsedour
cupsthensayol
ungisafori
ndlel
a
Aft
errunningallmyerrands, ZandIwer esafel
y
i
naf i
rstclassplanebackt oourlivesinCape
Town,wewer ebothanxiousaboutwhatt he
fut
ureheld,forbothus.
..
inf act
..
.ourfuture 
: -
/

Acoupl eofweekspassedsi nceourv acayt o

LA,li
fewasbackt onor mal ,t
hehur twasat hi
ng
ofthepast .ZandIwer estil
lcloserthanev er,
mostpeopl emi stookusf oracoupl ecoswedi d
everythingt ogether .Wedidntwantt odeal wit
h
ourtruef eelingsbecausewef earedt hatit
wouldj eopar diseourf ri
endshipt helastthingI
wantedwast oliv
ei nawor l
dwer eZusi phewas
notmyf ri
endany mor e..
.again!NikoandLuka
werest il
lgr eat,west il
ll
ov edukuhlalasonke
andwehadsomuchf un,Ilovedthatt heyhad
settl
edandmadesomenewf ri
endsbesi desme,
thattheydi dntdependonmet ohav efunorgo
outandst uffliket hat
.Ilovedt hataboutt hem,
theiropenness, f
ri
endliness,spontaneous
natureandt heirabil
it
yt oadaptnobakuphi
aphpsi khoyoandt het hi
ngIl ovedthemost
aboutt hem wast hattheywer emybestf r
iends,
theywer ealway sthereformeandIal wayshad
theirshoulder
st ocryon. .
..
event heythoughtZ
andIwer e"meantt obe" -_- i
twaski ndof
ti
ringtoheart hatallt
het i
me  : -
/

Sooneday ,Iwasatt hestorebymy self

,Luka
stayedhomeandNi kowasoutget ti
nglunchfor
us.Awomanpr obablyinherlate40'swalked,
shewor eathreequar t
erreddress,navy
sti
ll
ett
os,herafrowast iedi
ntoaneatbunand
shewor eanav yblazer
.Shewasst r
iki
ngl
y
beauti
fulbutherfacewasst ern,Iwenttomeet
heratthedoor
Me"af
ter
noon,
wel
comet
oChaot
ic,
howmayI
hel
pyou?
"
Her"
Iam l
ooki
ngf
orLenaSept
ember
,she
ownst
hispl
acei
presume"
Me" yesandthatwoul
dbeme"shegavemea
bri
efrundownf r
om headt
otoeandIst
art
edt
o
feeluneasy
Her"you'
redefi
nitel
ywhiterthanIi
magined,
you'
redefi
nit
elyyourfat
her'sdaught
er"Ir
aised
myey ebr
owf eel
ingconfused
Me"
excuseme?Andy
ouar
e?"
Her"ohhowr udeofme...mynameisDeli
na
Lubanga.
..
.Iam yourbi
ologi
calmot
her"shesai
d
wit
hasmi l
e...
..
..
 :O :O
[
12/
03,
11:
57]Ron:
MyWor
stMi
stake

I
nser
tTwent
yFour

Zer
o..
..

JustasIsatmyassdownont
hecouch,
wit
ha
col
dbeerinhandaf
teral
ongdayatwork.A
ver
yangryLenabur
stint
hrought
hedoor
Lena"thener
veofthatbl
oodywoman!
"Iputmy
beerdownandstoodup
Me"
Lena?
"
Lena" canyoubel
iev
eher?!Shej
ustshowedup
atthest or
e,wi
thherti
ghtdr
ess,
fatass
and..
.aaaahhhhIam somad!"
Me"Lena,
calm down.
..
tel
lmewhat
sgoingon?"
Ipul
l
edhertothecouchandwesatdown"what
arey
outal
kingabout?
"
Lena"t
hewomanwhogav ebi
rthtome, she
showeduptodayatthest
ore.
..
.youshouldhav
e
seenhersmugface!
"
Me"wait
,ar
eyousay
ingt
haty
oumety
our
mom t
oday?
"
Lena"sheisnotmymot her!Sheisj
ustthel
ady
whogav ebir
thtome..
..huh!Shehadt hener
ve
tosaytomet hatIam whiterthansheimagi
ned.
Whatt
hef
ucki
sthat
?!"
Me"wow!Icantbel
i
evet
his.
..
shewasther
e?
Whatdi
dyousay?Whatdidshesay
?"
Lena"
Idi
dntwantt
oheari
tsoIt
oldhert
o
l
eave!
"
Me"
youchasedherout
?"
Lena"ofcour
seIdi
d!Iwantnot
hingt
odowi
th
thatwoman!"
Me"
okay
..
.wel
lcal
m down"
Lena"
Iam cal
m"
Me"Lena.
..
thi
sisbi
g!"Shel
ookedatmeandI
coul
dseethatshewassti
ll
veryangr
ywi
thher
mom
Lena"
howisitbig?Howist
hiswomanshowi
ng
up26year
slaterbig?
!"
Me"
wel
l
...
..
"
Lena"
ha.
a!Idontwannatal
kaboutit
!"Shetook
mybeerf
rom thet
ableanddranki
t"order
somet
hing,
I'
m st
arv
ing"
Me"uhokay
!"Icoul
dntsayno,
shewasinafoul
moodandIdidntwantt
obeont hewr
ongsi
de
ofi
t.

Igotupagainndayothathamyphoneandmade
acall
,It
ookanotherbeerf r
om t
hefri
dgeand
wenttositnextt
oher .Shewassit
ti
ngther
e
andIcouldhearherbr ai
nworki
ng
Me"
Lena.
..
."shel
ookedatme
Lena" Ij
ustcantbeli
eveIsawher,shelooked
great.
...
li
keshesbeenhav i
ngthebestti
meof
herli
fewi thoutme.Li
keshehadnev ereven
thoughtaboutme.Youshoul dhaveseenher
face,shewassocal m,li
keshewasntseei ng
mef orthef i
rstt
ime"
Me"
thenwhydi
dsheshowup?
"
Lena"howshoul
dIknow?It
oldy
ou.
..
Iki
cked
herout"
Me"
wow!Mymi
ndi
sst
il
lbl
own"
Lena"wel
lsnapoutofi
t!UghIam soannoy
ed
butyouknowwhat?"
Me"
what
?"
Lena"
Iwil
lnotletsomel adyIdontevenknow
messupmyl i
feandj udgingf
rom thewayshe,I
wil
lpr
obabl
ynev erseeheragain"
Me"
thatol
dladyi
syourmom"
Lena" doyouevenknowwhatt hemeani ngof
mom i sZ?Theonlymom Iknowi sSar ahand
sheisenoughf orme,Idontneedt hiswoman"
Lenawasv er
yadamantandIj ustknewI
couldntchangehermindphofuway etshi
lo
kwakudalabashewant snothi
ngt odowi thher
biol
ogicalmom, ev
enifshewer et
oshowup,
shewoul dntgi
vehertheti
meofday  : -
/

_
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
Lena.
..
.

Del i
naLubanga, Deli
naLubangaheeeeDel ina
freakinLubanga! !Whot hefuckdi dthatwi tch
thinkshei s?Showi ngupatmyshopwi thher
smugf ace,tellingmet hatI'
m whi terthanshe
i
magi nedandt henhav i
ngtheaudaci tytout ter
thewor ds" biologicalmot her"from herf i
lthy
abandoni ngmout h!
!Iwasst i
llsoupbeatand
upsetabouti tev enwhenIwokeupt henextday
andpr eparedf orwor k.Ialway sthoughtt hatI
woul dntbeaf f ectedbymymom showi ngup
butIwaspi ssedt othemax. ..
.especi al
lyatt he
factthatshel ookedl ikesomeonewhowas
happyandnev erevent houghtaboutme, she
didntev enseem sor ryaboutl eav i
ngme, she
keptbat ti
ngaherf akeassey elashesatmel ike
somet hunderst r
uckbi mbo.Mxm! !

Igotdr
essedanddr
ovet
owor
k,Ibur
iedmy
sel
f
deepintothenewl ineIwascreat
ing.Iworked
i
nt hebackof f
icealldaywit
houtevenbreathing
until
Delukawal kedinsayi
ngIhadav isi
tor
,I
l
ookedupandt herewasDel i
naLubanga - _
-
standingatmydooronceagai n.Myanger
reacheditspeakassoonasIsawherov er
madeupf ace
Me"
whatt
hehel
ldoy
ouwant
?"
Del
i
na"Li
na,thati
snowayt
ospeakt
oyour
ownmother
"
Me"fir
stofal
l,
mynamei snotLi
na.
..
it
sLena..
.i
f
you'
regoi
ngtoaddr
essyoursel
fasmymot her
t
heny oushoul
datl
eastknowmynamedont
youthi
nk?"
Del
i
na"oh,
Iseeyourf
atherr
aisedachi
l
djust
asf
ull
ofspunkashewas..
..
"
Me"Iwi
ll
asky
ouagai
nDel
i
na.
..
whatdoy
ou
want
?"
Del
i
na"
toseey
ouofcour
se.
..
youknowwhenI
heardthatIhaveadaughterwhoownsoneof
thebestbouti
quesinthecit
y,Ij
usthadtomeet
her"yhoandadi
kwangulomf aziThi
xo!
Me"
what
?"
Deli
na"yes,Afri
endofmi newasher eafew
daysback,shesaidyoutoldhert hatyou'
re
LenaSeptember,borninP.E..
...
.sheconnected
thedotsandcamet omesay ingshemet
you.
..
soIhadt ocomeseef ormy self
..
.y
ou
real
l
yareabeaut y"Ir
oll
edmyey es
Me"okay
..
.y
ou'
veseenmet
hencany
oupl
ease
l
eav
e"
Deli
na"whyareyousoangryLena?
"Mymouty
openedbutthewordsgotst
uckinmyt
hroat
,
wasshebeingforreal
?
Me"
arey
ouki
ddi
ng.
..
.y
ouknowwhat
?Getout
!"
Del
i
na"ohyou'
reangr
ybecauseIl
eft
?Arenty
ou
abi
ttoool
dtobeholdi
ngontothepast
?"
Me"
I'
m nothol
dingont
oany
thi
ng,
Ijustwant
y
out
ogetoutandnev
ercomeback"
Del
i
na"Ilef
tbecauseIknewIwoul
dsuckasa
mother
"
Me"
Idontcar
eDel
i
na"
Deli
na"yourf at
herwassohappywhenhef ound
outIwaspr egnant,hewantedyour i
ght
away..
.convincedmenott oterminat
e..
.sowhen
Igavebirth,Il
eftcosIwasntreadytobea
mother..
.ever!
"
Me"
wil
lyoust
opt
alki
ng?Idontwannaheari
t!
"
Del
ina"whynot?I
tswhatmostkidswantmos,
whentheyhavebeenabandonedbythei
r
par
entstheyal
wayswanttoknowwhy "
Me"well
asyoucansee,Iam notakid,
Iam not
mostandIsur
eashell
donotcar e"
Delina"youknowy ourfat
herhadthisangry,
resentfulnat
uret
oo...
it
snodoubty ou'
rejust
l
ikehi m.Whereishebyt heway?"Iknewba
l
omf aziwontl
eavemyof fi
cesoIdecidedto
packupmyst uff"
Lena.
..
youhavetoletgoof
thepast
,Iam herenow.
..
.l
etstal
k"If
ini
shed
packi
ngup,Itookmyportfol
i
oandpacked
ndaphuma,shefoll
owedme
Me"
Del
uka,
I'
ll
bewor
kingf
rom home"
Luka"sur
ethi
ngbosslady
"Iwal
kedoutt
omy
carandshefol
lowedme

Del
i
na"
Lena!
"Il
ookedather
Me" itsonet hi
ngt hatyoul ef
tme, t
hatyoudi dnt
evenst ayt oatleasthol dmei ny ourarmsj ust
once.I tisonet hingthaty ouletmyf at
herraise
meandnev erlookedback!I ti
sonet hi
ngt hat
youwer enothingbutagol ddiggi ngwhor e!Iti
s
onet hingthaty oust ayedawayf or26y earsbut
i
tissof uckedupt hatyoushowupwi t
hout
evenanounceofr emor seorr egr etoverwhat
youdi d!Itissof uckedupt haty ou'renotev en
sorry.
...andyouj ustshowupoutofnowher e
nalaphobecausey ourdumbf riendhappenedt o
beinmyshop, t
hatmeansy ounev ercar edfor
meormyf ather
...
younev erlookedf orus...
you
carri
edonwi thyourl i
feandf oundy our
happi ness...
whatt hehel l i
si tthaty ouwant ?!
Becausey ou'redef i
nitelynother etobui lda
mot heranddaught errelat i
onshi pandi t
hi?Soke
whyar eyouher eDel ina? "Shekeptqui et"okay
theny oul i
stentomeandy oulistengood. ..
.I
dontcar eev enaboutt hef actthaty ougav e
birt
ht omebutIam noty ourchi l
d,Inev erhave
andInev erwi l
lbe...
.sosav ey ourt i
meand
continuet opr et
endl ikeIdontexi st.Idontcar e
aboutwhati tisyouhav et osayorwhaty ou
want ..
..
whatIcar eabouti sy oul eavingandme
neverhav i
ngt oseey ouagai n!"Igoti ntomycar ,
starteditthendr ov eof fndi nomsi ndondi njal
o!

_
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___

Zer
o..
..
Thet hingwi thLenaandhermom wasget t i
ng
tohermor ethanshel eton.Lenawasst rong
andshehat edt oshowherweaknesses, she
didntliketoshowpeopl ethatizintoaffect ed
hermor ethanshel eton.Sheal way swant ed
everyonet obel ievethatshehadi tall
under
cont r
ol andshewashandl ingitli
kebossbutI
knewher ,andIknewt hatshewast hi
nking
aboutherbi ol ogicalmom mor et hanshewoul d
l
iket o,event houghshewasa" smug
bitch".
...
herwor dsnotmi ne..
..
shewonder ed
whatki ndofper sonshewasandwhatr eal l
y
happenedbet weenherandherdad.Idi dntwant
topusht oohar dbecauset hetopicofhermom
woul djustpissherof fandIdidntwantt obeon
thewr ongsi deofLena' stemper ,sheisascar y
l
adywhenshe' smad  : -
/

Theday
sformymom'
sdi
vor
cepr
oceedi
ngs
weredrawingcloser,Iwasf i
nali
singherpapers
andshewasgoi ngt of l
ytoCPTont heweekend
thensomet i
met hefol l
owingweeksi yeeBhayi
.
Iwastalki
ngtoherov erthephoneaboutthis,
I
wasonl oudspeakerbecauseSakhywast here
too
Mom "
sokemnt
anam,
howi
sLena?
"
Me"ughIdontknowmama,
sheact
sli
keshes
f
inebutIknowsheisnt
"
Mom "
poorchi
l
d,shemustst
il
lbei
nshockand
i
tmustbeover
whelmi
ng"
Me"
yeahIsuppose"
Sakhy"what
sthedeal
bet
weeny
ouandLena
vel
ebro?"
Me"
whatdoy
oumean?
"
Sakhy"
whyar
eyouguy
snott
oget
her
?"
Me" Sakhy.
..
wetal
kedaboutt
hisal
ready
,we
dontfeeleachot
herl
iket
hat"
Sakhy"
ohr
eal
l
ynow?
"
Mom "
okayIwi
l
lleav
eyouboy
stot
alk"
Me"Sakhy,I
'm ser
ious.
..
LenaandImadet
he
deci
si
on..
..
"
Sakhy" youmeanshemadet hedeci
sion?Dude
comeonwhendi dyoubecomesuchapunk
bitch!Youknowmostpeopledontgetchances
l
iket hi
s..
.t
obewiththegi
rlt
heyhaveloved
sincetheywere18"
Me"
sowhatar
eyousay
ing?
"
Sakhy"Iam say
ingthati
fyoulov
ehert
heny
ou
shoul
djustgrabherandkissher
"
Me"
jawel
lokay
..
.Iwi
l
ltal
ktoy
oul
ater
"
Sakhy"okaybro"Ihungupandl ai
dbackont he
couch.Il
ov edLenaandIwantedtobewi t
hher
butshewasj ustscar
edofgetti
nghur tagai
n
andtobef air
,Iwasherfi
rstl
oveandIbr okeher
hearti
ntopiecesbutIam notl
ikethatanymore,
maybeitwast imeItookevery
one'sadv i
ceand
t
oldherhowIf
eel
andt
hatIwantt
obewi
thher
!

_
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___

Lena.
..
..

Lifewasal readyupsettingasi tis,mymot her

hadr esur f
acedandIhadntt oldmydady et,
I
recievedaphonecal lt
hatoneofmyempl oyees
wasi nv olv
edi nanaccident ,
shedi edont he
spot ,l
eav i
ngbehi nda1mont holdbaby .Clara'
s
deat hhitmei nmymostsensi ti
vespot ,l
ifeis
shor t
,itwasonl ythepreviousmont hwher eshe
wascel ebratingthebir
thofherbabygi rland
nowshewasgone, atl
eastt hebabyhast he
fathermos. ..
.i
tmademer eali
set hatthereIwas
sulkingaboutsuchsmal l
andi nsignif
icant
thi
ngswhi lepeopl eweredeal ingwi t
ht hi
ngs
l
ikedeat h,pov er
ty,nat
ural di
sast er
s,losi
ngj obs
andsomuchmor e.Jasowhat?Mymom l ef t
meatbi r
thbutwhywasIact i
ngunl ikemyself
andli
keat ot
al punkassho,Iwasntbei ngLena
atall
,Iwasrunningawayagaininst eadof
faci
ngmysour ceofpai nheadont henmov ing
onwithmyl i
fe.Ifmymot herwantedt otal
k,
thenitwasti
mewet al
ked!

Shehadleftherdetai
lswithNi
koatt heshop
aft
erIlef
tthatday.Ical
ledher
,itwasa
Satur
daysoIwasntgoi ngtowor k,
shepicked
upafterawhile
Del
i
na"
hel
l
o?"
Me"
Del
i
na,
itsme.
..
Lena,
Ineedt
oseey
ou"
Del
i
na"
when?
"
Me"
today
"
Del
i
na"
okay
,Iwi
l
lbet
her
ear
oundone"
Me"gr
eatseeyouthen"Ihungupandr
oll
edmy
ey
es,j
eezthatwomanwascol dasi
ce,
itwasnt
l
ikeshesseeingmef ort
hefi
rstt
imetheway
shewasacting,i
nfactshedi
dntactl
i
kemy
motheratal
l -_
-

Anyway,
whi l
eIwasonther
oll
off aci
ngmy
demons,Ical
ledmyfat
hert
otell
hi m about
Del
ina
Dad"
hel
l
oangel
"Ismi
l
ed
Me"
heydaddy
,howar
eyou?
"
Dad"
Iam doi
nggr
eatandy
ou?
"
Me"
notsogr
eat
"
Dad"
whathappened?
"
Me" Clar
af r
om thebouti
queinNewYor kdi
ed
thi
smor ning,shewasinvol
vedinacaracci
dent
onthewayt owork.Shehaslef
tbehinda1
mont holdbabygirl
,Iam sodepressed"
Dad"
ohhoneyt
hat
ster
ri
ble!I
m sor
ry"
Me"
it
sshownmet
hatl
i
fei
sshor
tandImust
faceever
ythi
ngheadandnotr
unawayf
rom
anythi
ng"
Dad"
that
saposi
ti
vewayt
olookatt
hings"
Me"yeahsoanyway,thereal
reasonIcal
l
ed
i
s..
..
Del
inaLubangahasresurf
aced"t
henmy
dadwentquiet"
dad?"
Dad"
I'
m st
il
lher
e"
Me"di
dyouhearme?Del
i
nadar
edt
oshowher
f
aceinfr
ontofme"
Dad"
oh!
"
Me"
dad?I
sthatal
lyou'
l
lsay
?"
Dad"Idontknowwhattosay,
Ihav
enthear
d
t
hatnamei nyear
s.Whatdi
dshesay?
"
Me" t
hatshewant stotal
ksoIm gonnagi
veher
achanceev enthoughsheissosmugand
condescending"
Dad"
that
sDeli
naforyou,shenevershowed
muchemoti
on.Justbecaref
ulsweethear
t,t
hat
womanal
way
sdoessomet
hingf
orar
eason"
Me"
dontwor
rydaddy
,Iwi
l
lbewar
yofher
"
Dad"
tel
lmehowi
tgoesokay
?"
Me"
okay
,Il
ovey
ou!
"
Dad"Il
oveyoutoo"Ihungupndabekamy
phoneonthetabl
e

Around1Del i
naarr
ivedatt
hehouse, wesatout
i
nt heter
race,i
twasawar m spr
ingday ,t
hesun
outandev er
ythi
nglooki
ngbeautif
ul.Ihad
prepar
edsomesnacksanddr i
nksforus
Me"
youwant
edt
otal
k,sot
alk"
Del
ina"
youdontpossessmuchhospi
tal
i
ty
ski
l
lsdoyou?
"
Me"Imusthav
epi
ckedt
hatupf
rom my
mot
her"
Del
ina"you'
reverycutthr
oatLena,Il
ikethat.
..
..
I
seethatTayl
orraisedastr
ongy ounglady"
Me"
thanky
ou"
Delina" l
ookIknowt hatIam pr obablynotwhat
youexpect edorwanti namot her,thetruthi
s,
bei
ngamom i ssomet hingInev erwantedi n
thi
sl i
fe.Icoul
dntimagi nemy selfhav i
ngaki d
andt akingcareofsomeoneel seot herthan
my self.Keepi
ngy ouwasaf avourtoy ourfather
becausehewant edy ou.SoIgav ebir
thandI
bolted,neverl
ookingback"t hosewor dshurt
mebutIkeptast raightface
Me"
sowhyar
eyouher
enow?
"
Deli
na"whenmyf ri
endcametomesayi
ngshe
sawmi ghthaveseent
hechi
ldIhadwi
thTay
lor
,
Ibecamecur i
ous"
Me"
soy
oucamet
ocheckmeout
?"
Del
ina"
howcoul dInot?EventhoughIdidnt
wantababy,Ioft
enthoughtaboutyouandhow
youweredoi
ngandwhaty oulookedl
ikeandif
Tayl
orwasraisi
ngyour i
ght"
Me"
andhewas"
Del
i
na"hesur
edi
d,Il
ookedy
ouguy supand
wow!Youbot
har
edoingwel
lfory
oursel
ves"
Me"
wear
ebot
hhar
dwor
ker
s"
Del
i
na"
atl
easty
oui
nher
it
edt
hatf
rom hi
m"
Me"
yeahandnoty
ourgol
ddi
ggi
ngski
l
lsr
ight
?"
Del
i
na"
ther
eisnoneedt
obehar
shLena"
Me"
myapol
ogi
es 
-_
- 
"
Del i
na"Iknowy ou'r
eupsetwi thmeandIdont
blamey ou..
.IdontevenknowwhyI 'm her
ebut
eversinceImety out hatday,Icantstop
thinki
ngaboutt hefactthatIhaveachi l
dso
beaut i
ful,i
ndependantandgr own. .
..
Icant,
its
j
usthar dt obelieve 
: ) 
"
Me" Iwantedy ousobadl y
,whenIhi tmyteens
andIfeltl
ikemydaddi dntunderst
andasi ngl
e
thi
ngaboutme, Ineededamot her
,whenIhad
myf i
rstheartbreakandIwashumi li
ated,
I
neededamot her.
..
.youlef
t,youchosenott obe
her
e...
forthel
ongestt
imei
thur
tandIf
eltli
keI
wasntgoodenoughbecausemyownmot her
neverl
ov edmeenoughtost
aywit
hme"
Deli
na"Iam sorr
yLena"itwasthefi
rstt
imeI
heardhersaythosewordssincewemetand
shehadsomeemot i
ononherf ace
Me"wel
lIam happyt
haty
ouar
eandt
hanky
ou
f
orsayi
ngthat
"
Del
ina"
IwasyoungandIhadal
lmypr
ior
it
ies
scr
ewedup"
Me"yeahwell
,i
tsokayIsuppose.Iam notthe
ki
ndofpersontohol
dagr udge"shesmiled
Deli
na" anot
hergreatt
hingyourfat
hermust
havetaughtyou.YouseeLena, y
ourdadisa
goodmanandIknewt hathewouldrai
seyou
ri
ght,unli
keme"
Me"Iunderstand"wechatt
edforawhil
e
si
gqibezel
aukutyathenshehadtol
eave.I
wasntsurethatIwantedheri
nmylif
easyet
butIwashappywet alkedandgotthr
oughthe
ugl
iness,t
herewasstillalotmor
etoget
thr
oughbeforeweest abli
shedamotherand
daughterr
elat
ionshi
p

_
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___
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___
___
___
___
___
___

Zer
o..
..
.

Aftertalkingt omybr ot
heraboutLena, I
reali
sedt hatIwasr eall
ybeingapunkandnot
facingmyf eel
ings.Iwasscar edthatshewould
rej
ectmebecauseshewasscar edshewould
gethur t.LenaandIwer ej
ustbot hscar
edand
thef earwaswhatwaskeepi ngusapart.SoI
madet hedeci siont ogoovert oherhouse,t
ell
herhowIf eelandt hatIwantedtobewi thher,
nomat terwhat .
Iarr
ivedatherhouseandshewasal
one,
ehl
eli
ebackli
steni
ngtomusic
Lena"
hey
"shegr
eet
edmewi
thasmi
l
e
Me"
hey
"Isatdown"
arey
ouokay
?"
Lena"
yeah,
Ijusthav
eal
otonmymi
nd"
Me"
met
oo"shel
ookedatme
Lena"
mymom washer
e"
Me"
real
l
y?Howdi
dthatgo?
"
Lena"
itwentr
eal
l
ywel l
..
.wet
alkedandr
eached
somecommongr ound"
Me"
that
sgr
eatLena,
youdi
dther
ightt
hing"
Lena"I
tfeelsri
ghtt
oo,l
ikeal oadhasbeen
l
ift
edoff.
..
.Iremember
edt hatpromisewemade
toeachother"
Me"
whatpr
omi
se?
"
Lena"notrunni
ng,f
aci
ngt hi
ngsheadon.
..
no
mat t
erhowhard,unpl
easantorwhat
evert
he
outcomeis"
Me"
andt
hat
swhyIam her
etoday
"
Lena"
yeah?
"
Me"Icamet ofacemyt hi
ngheadon,nomatt
er
howhard,scaryorout
come"shelookedatme
moreatt
entivel
y
Lena"
okay
?"Imov
edt
okneel
bef
oreher
Me"Lena..
.Icanthi
deitorr
unawayfrom i
t
any
mor e.
..
Iloveyou"herex
pressi
onsof
tened
Lena"
Z..
..
"
Me" Iknowt hatIam t heonewhohur ty outhe
mostandt hent herewasJace, Iknowy ou'
re
scaredbutIl ovey ou, Ihavelovedyousi ncewe
wer e18andImeantev erywor dIsaidinNew
York.Youar et hethingIhav eal waysfeltli
ke
wasmi ssingi nmyl ife.Idontwantt obe
withoutyouany more, Iwanty ounow, tomor r
ow
andf or
ever..
.Icantbej ustyourfri
endany more"
Lena"
butwesai
d..
..
"
Me"
Iknowwhatwesai
dbutwhat
sthepoi
ntof
bei
ngf ri
endswhenwhatwef eelismor ethan
j
ustfri
endship?Lenacomeon....
pleasesayy ou
wil
lgi
v eusachance"shewasl ookingdownat
mewi thtear
sinhereyes,
Itookherhand" leap
offai
th?" 
Lena"
yes"
Me"
yes?
"
Lena"yesyesandyes! !Idontwanttorunor
hi
deany more,
Ilov
ey ou"Istoodup,pull
i
ngher
upwithme, weembr acedi nalonghugthen
ki
ssed,damnweki ssed! !
!
[
12/
03,
14:
40]Ron:
MyWor
stMi
stake

I
nser
tTwent
yFi
ve

Epi
sodeFi
nal
e!!
!

Lena.
..
..
..
Si
xmont
hsl
ater
..
..

AsIwal keddownt heaislewi t

hmyf ather,Ifelt
butterfli
esasbi gasdi nousaur sfl
utterinmy
stomach.Il ookedatZst andingatt heal tar,
l
ooki ngsodanger ousl yhandsomeandIf elta
gutwr enchingt wisti nmyst omach, may bei t
wast hebabyki ckingorj ustmy
i
magi nati
on  :) .Mywal kt othealtarmademe
l
ookbackont hej our neythatledmet ot healtar.
WhenIwas18y earsol d,Imetaboy ..
..anice
boyandhebecamemyf ri
endt henhebecame
mybestf r
iendt henhebecameapar tofme.He
hurtmedeepl yandwewentoursepar ateway s,
l
ivedoursepar atel iv
esandt houghtwedi dnt
needeachot herany mor e.Afteraser i
esof
therapysessi onsandi ntrospecti
on, Ifoundt he
couragei nsidemet ogobackandf acemy
demons, throughi tallIfoundmywaybackt o
myol destandf irstl ove.Wet riedt odenyt he
feel
ingbuti tgott hebet terofus, everyonekept
sayi
ng" youguy sar emeantf oreachot her"but
wewoul dj ustlookateachot herandl augh,
hauntedbyourpastanddi videdbyourf ear s,
west ayedapar t, wer an,wehi dandweav oided
thetruth.Ev entual lythet i
mef orr unningcame
toanend, ev entual l
ywehadt of aceourr eal i
ty,
ourtruthandt heaccepti t.Accept i
ngi twast he
bestthingweev erdi dforour sel vesbecausei f
Zhadntcomet omyhouse8mont hsagoand
tol
dmet ost opr unni ng,ifZhadntcomet omy
houseandt oldmet hathel ov edmeanddi dnt
wantt ohi de, r
unorav oidt het ruthany mor e,I
wouldntbeher er ightnow, inmycr y
stal white
mermai dweddi nggownwi thdi amonddet aili
ng
madeexcl usi v
elyf ormebyEl i
zabet hTay l
or,the
bestweddi nggowndesi gneri nt hewor ld!I
wouldntbehandi nhandwi thmyf atheri na
room fil
ledwi t
ht hepeopl eIl ov e,Iwoul dntbe
walkingt owar dst hemanIl ov emor et han
anyt
hingaboutt opledgemyl i
fetohi m.IfI
hadnttakenthatleapoffai
thandl eftevery
thing
behi
nd...
Iwouldntbe4mont hspregnantwi t
h
hi
schild,Iwouldntbegetti
ngthelifeIalways
wanted,thehusband, t
hebaby,thedr eam
houseandev eryt
hinginbetween.

Afterwegotbackt ogether,everythi
ng
happenedsof ast,wewant edt omakeupf or
l
ostt i
me, wehad8y earstomakeupf orand
thatmadeusnott akeany thingf orgranted.
Beinggivenasecondchanceatl oveisnot
somet hi
ngtobet akenl i
ghtlybecausesome
peopledontev engett hatchance.I nlifeweal l
aspiretobegr eat,wor khard, getagoodj ob
andbecomei ndependantbutweal soaspi r
et o
fi
ndsomeonet oshar ethatwi th.Everyone
want stobelov ednomat t
erhowmanyt imes
theysaytheydont , everyonewant stof eelthat
safetyandsecur i
tyofhav i
ngsomeonet o
alwayscounton.ZandIknewt hatvery
wel l
..
..wewentt hroughal lt
hemot i
onsofa
coupl einloveinlesst han3mont hs..
.wemov ed
i
nt oget herandnextt hingIknow. ..Im pr
egnant,
thatwast hebestthingt oev erhappent othe
bot hofus.Wewant edaf ami lyandwewant ed
i
tt ogether.Aft
erfindingoutaboutt hebaby,Z
want edt ogetmar ri
edsowecoul dl iv
etogether
asaf amilyandourbaby ,Ihadnoobj ecti
onsto
that.Ihadwai tedal ongt i
mef ormyhappi ly
everaf terandIwaspr eparedt ogr abitwit
h
bot hhandsandnotl etany thinggeti nmyway .

Whenwegott ot
heal t
armydadki ssedmeon
thecheekthengavemeov ertoZ,hekissedme
onthecheektoothenwest oodinfrontofthe
pastor.Hesai
dhispieceandt henitwast i
me
forthevows,wehadwr it
tenourown. ..
even
thoughIhadntwri
tt
ent hem down,Iknew
exactl
ywhattosaytot hi
sman
Me"
Zusi
phePot
elwa.
..
."It
ookadeepbr
eat
h
andbl inkedt ohol dt het ear sback" Icannot
evenbegi nt ot ellyouhowmuchy oumeant o
mebecauset hatmi ghtt aket hewhol edayandI
reallywantt ogett ot heIdo' s"ev ery one
l
aughed" butwhatIwi llsayi st hanky ou,thank
youf oral way sjustbei ngy ou, forbei ngmybest
fri
end, myhonour ablef iref ight erbecauseev ery
ti
met heemer gencybel l
sgoof fi nmyhear t,
you'real way st heret oputoutt hef i
r e.Ihav e
nev ermetany onesosensi ti
v e, car i
ng, ki
nd,
attentive,af fecti
onat eandpassi onat e.You
makemewantt obet hebestv ersi onofmy self
ever yday ,youpushmeoutoft hecor nersI
somet i
meshi demy sel fin.Idonotseemy self
withanyot hermanbuty ou, you' ret heoneI
wantt owakeupt oandgot osl eepnextt o
ever ynight ,Iwantt hosebr eakf astmor nings,
thedi nner sat7, t
hemi dni ghtsnackswhenwe
bothcantsl eep, t
hedumbf ight saboutr insing
yourcof f
eecupandput tingt het oiletsi t
down  : ) andIwantt oki ssy ouev er ynightand
ever ymor ni
ng.Baby ,
soher einfr
ontofallour
fami li
esandf ri
ends, Ipledgemyl ifetoyou...
to
alway sloveyouandbet hebestwi fethatyou
deser ve.Toalway ssuppor tyouandbei nyour
cornernomat t
erwhat ,Ipromi setohelpyou
nev erforgettheper sony ouar eandtheperson
youwantt obe, Ipromi setobui l
dy ouupand
keepy ouhappy .Toal way sbebyy oursidein
sicknessandi nheal t
hr i
ght?Thegoodt i
mes
andget t
ingthrought hebadt oget
her.Ipromise
tolov eyouunt ilt
hedayIt akemyl astbreath"

Pastor"wow!Somepowerfulwor
dsrightt
her
e
Lena..
.Zusi
phe? 
Whathav
ey ougotson?"
Z" wowIdontknowhowIwi llt
opt hatbutIwil
l
try"hecl
earedhi
sthr
oat"Lena....
theonegirl
in
thisworl
dwhosawsomet hinginmet hatI
alwaysfai
ledtoseei
nmy self
,thegoodi nme
andmademet hemanthatIam t oday.You
pickedmeupwhennoonewant edme, you
mademeseet hewor ldthroughy ourbeaut i
ful
ey esandIadmi tthatIgotcar ri
edaway
somet imesandl ostmy selfbuty oual way shav e
thiswayoff indingmeandpul li
ngmebackt o
theper sonIwantt obe, f
ormy self,foryou, for
ourbabyandf orourf ami l
y .IthankGodev ery
dayf orgivingmeumnt uonj engawe, mybest
fri
endandl ifepar tnerallwr appedi none, who
cansayt hatt heyhav ethat?Iwi l
lnev ertake
thisory ouf orgr antedbecauseIknowt hatt hi
s
i
saoncei nal i
fetimechance.Youar ethemost
beaut i
fulper son, i
nsideandout ..
.youhav eabi g
hear tandy ouhav et histhingy okubonat hebest
i
npeopl enomat terhowbadt heyar eorhow
badl ytheyhav ehur tyou...
.y ourabi l
i
tytof orgive
andl oveast houghy ou'venev erbeenhur t
bef orei ssomet hingt hatst il
lover whelmsmet o
thisday .IthinkImusthav ebeensomeki ndof
sai ntinmypastl ifeforGodt ohav eseent hata
womanl i
key oui sf i
tforme. .
..
sobhabha. .
.in
frontofal lthesepeopl ethatwel ove,ourf amily
andf ri
ends...
Ipledgemyl ifetoyou, Ipromi seto
bet hekindofhusbandy ouneed, t
hef atherour
chil
drencanbepr oudof .Ivowt oalway sputa
smi l
eony ourface,nev ertointenti
onal l
ymake
youcr y,toalwayssuppor tyouandbebyy our
side,tothegoodt imesandget ti
ngt hrought he
badt ogether.Ialsopr omiset obet heref oryou
i
nsi cknessandi nheal t
h..
.anytimey ouneed
me, Iwi l
lalwaysber ightbyy ourside, neverto
l
eav ey oubehindbecauseIal wayswanty outo
bewher eIcanseey ou : ) 
.Ipromi setol ove
youal way sti
llt
hedayIt akemyl astbreat h"

Pastor"
IknowIam amanbutt hosevowsjust
mademet earup!Ifthereisanyonewhowasnt
sureofthelovey outwohav eforeachother,
I
am posi
tivethatalldoubthasbeenwashed
awayaftersuchpower f
ulanddeepwor dsto
eachother.Mar r
iageishardmychi l
drenbut
whenevery oufeelli
keitsdrai
ningyououtand
youcanttakeany mor e,
justcomebackt othi
s
dayandr emembert hispromi set haty oumade
toeachot herandt hel oveev ery onecanf eel i
s
stronglybet weent het woofy ou"Il ookedupat
Zandhesmi l
ednotj ustwithhi smout hbutwi th
thosesmal lador abl eeyes,myhear tflattered"I
thi
nkt hatev erythinghasbeensai danddoneso
byt hepowerv est edi nme, Inowpr onouncey ou
husbandandwi f
e!Ki ssyourbr idemrPhoswa"
Zpul l
edmecl osert ohim andweki ssed, fora
l
ongt ime. .
.Ifeltli
keIwasf loatingonai r,the
room wentqui etandempt yli
kei twasj ustt he
twoofus, Iwassoar inghigherandhi gher ..
..
if
therewasawayt ogett oheav en, thenI m sure
thatwasi t.Wewer esnappedbackt or ealit
y
whenpeopl est artedcl apping, webr oket hekiss
andIl ookedatev eryone,Sar ahwi nkedatme
andIl aughed.Zl iftedmyhandupwi t
hhi sand
everyonest oodup, clappingandcheer ing!

Bestdayever
!!Whatmor
ecoul
dagi
rlwi
sh
for
? ^_^
Timef l
ewbysof ast,
ZandIwer est il
lhappier
thanev er,andsoexci tedaboutourl it
tl
ebundl e
ofjoy,Iwasal ready9mont hspregnantandI
couldntwai tforthebabyt ocomeouty ho!I
t
wassoexhaust i
ngandsonotcut eany more.
Wi t
hev erydayt hatpassedandev erytimehe
kickedme, Iwantedtocr y,pr
ay i
ngt hatmay i
de
i
fikeimini aphumel omnt u.Ofcour semyhubby
sympat hizedwi t
hmebutket hatsallhecoul d
docost hebabywasi nsidemeandki ll
ingme.

MydadandSar ah,werebackinSA,li
vingwith
usf orawhil
ejustunti
lthebabywasbor nso
theycouldhel
pusout ,beingnewparents.
..
.we
didntknowwhet herwewer ecomingorgoing!It
wasni cehavi
ngaf ul
lhouse,Z'smom was
theretooanditwassohear twarmingbecause
shewasdoi ngsowel laft
erherdi
vorceand
utatakaZactuallywantedherbackbecausehe
foundoutt hatthebabywasnthi sj ustl i
kethe
boy stoldherbutMaj ustwasntt hereany more,
shewasl ivi
nghappi lyinCapet own, i
nher
beaut i
fulcosyhomeandwor ki
ngagai nsince
shepi ckedupherst ethoscopeandbecamet he
neighbour hooddoct or.Mybi ol
ogi cal mom andI
wer eongoodt ermstoo, wehadourown
mot heranddaught err elati
onshi p, shewasnta
badper sonbutkeshewasr i
ghtaboutone
thi
ng, shewasnotf i
ttobeamot herbecause
shewasmor eofaf r
iendt hanamom t omebut
thatscool .Myt wobest ies,DelukaandNi ko
wer estill
livi
ngatt heol dhouse, seei ngme
pregnantmadet hem sobr oodyt hatt hey
want edt oadopt ,Iwasal lforthat .
..t
her eare
thousandsofki dsoutt herewhoneedagood
homeandl ovingparent s.Sobasi cal l
y
everythingwasgood, ev eryonewas
happy ..
.exceptf orme : ( 
myduedat ewas
takingfor evertocome  : '
(
Hav i
ngaf ullhouseandat oddlerrunning
around(Auggi e)meantt hatZandIhar dlyhad
ti
met oour selvessowehadt ot akeal it
tl
etime
outforourselvesandj ustenjoybei ng
newlyweds.OnSat urdayhehadawhol eday
pl
annedf orusandf oroncehi sbabywasnt
gi
v i
ngmeahar dtimesoIagr eednj eeasil
y
ukuphumanay e.Wewentoutt oV&A, we
watchedamov ie,
weshopped. ..most l
yforthe
baby,Iboughtmeabeaut if
ulbr acelet
Z"t
hisistor
epl
acet
hosef
ri
endshi
pet
erni
ty
br
acelet
s"
Me"
hahahaohwow!Ir
emembert
hose"
Z"
whatdi
dyoudowi
thy
our
s?"
Me"It
hrewi
taway.
..
Idi
dntwantanyr
emi
nder
s
ofy
ou.Wher
eisyour
s?"
Z"athomesomewher e,Iwant
edtogetr
idofi
t
becauseIf
eltl
ikeIwasntwort
hyofwear
ingit
aft
erwhathappened"
Me" well
itdoesntmat t
ernowbecausewewil
l
havethese!"Ipoi
ntedattheothermat
chi
ng
bracel
et"Iwill
buyy outhi
sone"
Z"l
etmejustgett
hem bot
hbaby..
.Iam part
ner
atmyfi
rm nowsoI'
m goodfori
t"Ilaughed
Me"bragmuch!"Hel
aughedtoo"
ha.ababyyou
gott
hefri
endshi
ponessoletmegetthese"
Z"okay
,I'
m notgoi
ngt
owi
nthi
sfi
ghtne?
"I
shookmyhead
Me"
nopewhichiswei
rdcosy
ou'
ret
he
l
awy
er.
..
youarguef
orali
vi
ng"
Z"
wel
lIl
ety
ouwi
nkal
oku"
Me" mm okay"Ilaughedandshookmyhead
thenndabizat
hesal esassi
stantandinafew
minuteswewal kedoutwithmat chi
nginf
ini
ty
bracel
ets

Wewal kedar
oundthemall
,handi
nhand
obl
i
vioustotheout
sideworl
dunti
lwebumped
i
ntoKwezionourwaytothesunsetcruisethi
ng,
shewaswithanuni
denti
fi
edman ; )
 lol.I
l
ookedatZandhejustbl
inkedatherl
ikeubona
someghost
Z"Kwezi.
..
."shest
aredbackathi
m andIf
elt
awkward 
Kwezi
"Zusi
phe.
..
hi!
" 
Z"
whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?"
Kwezi"Icameback,
Igotanewj
obandImov
ed
back"
Z"oh"shelookedatme,
atmyhugebel
l
ythen
atourhol
dinghands
Kwezi
"Lena!Iseecongr
atul
ati
ons 
arei
nor
der
"
Me"
thanks,
youl
ookgr
eatbyt
heway
"
Kwezi
"thanks,
Ifeel
great
"
Z"i
tssowei
rdseeingyour
ightnow.
..
IthoughtI
woul
dnever
..
..
Ijust
..
..
"
Kwezi
"yeahmet
oobutIcanseet
hatmy
l
eavi
ngwasthebestdeci
sionbecausenowI'
m
sur
eyou'
rewher
ey oual
way swantedtobe"
Z"
wel
l
...
..
"
Kwezi"
congr
atul
ati
onsyouguy
s"t
henshet
ook
herman'
shandandtheylef
t
Me"
arey
ouokay
?"
Z"I
m goodbaby
,itwasj
ustst
rangeukumbona.
If
eelki
ndabad"
Me"
why
?"
Z"becauseIam bei
nggivenasecondchance
atafamilyandshesri
ght,Iam exact
lywher
eI
havealwayswantedtobe,butwhatabouther?
"
Me" dontbeaty
oursel
fupaboutthat.
..
Kwezi is
l
ookinggreatwhichmeans,
she'scomet o
ter
mswi thever
ythi
ngandshe'
shappy ..
.didyou
seehowhothermal ecompanionis?Shei s
fi
ne"hesmi l
ed
Z"you'
rer
ight
,youandt
hebabyar
emyl
i
fe
now"
Me" Ij
ustwi
shy ourl
i
fecoul
dcomeoutofme
sooner"hel
aughed
Z"hescomingbaby
,dontworry
"Isulkedandhe
ki
ssedme.Wegotont hecr
uisethenaftert
hat
sagoduka.

Itwasaf t
erdi nnerwhenIst art
edf eel i
ngthe
contracti
onsbutndat hulathinkingitwas
nothing,myduedat ewast hef oll
owi ngweekso
Ithoughtzi braxtonhicksbutboywasIwr ong!!
Iwentt otakeashowerandt hatispr obably
whyIdi dntev enreal
isethatmywat erbroke
becauseIt houghtIwaspeei ngint heshower .
Afterbathing,Ichangedandgoti ntobedbutI
couldntsleepatal l
.Ikepttossingandt urning,
unabletof indacomf ortabl
esleepi ngposi ti
on
Z"
bhabhaar
eyouokay
?"
Me"no.
..
I'
m hav
ingcontr
act
ions"hej
umpedup
andt
urnedonhissi
delamp
Z"you'
reinl
abour
?"Ibi
tmyl
i
pasanot
her
contr
acti
onhitme
Me" It
hinkso!
"Hegotoutofbedwazakum and
hel
pedmegetup" t
hebabybagZ, dontf
orget
i
t" 
Z"yes!Of
cour
se"wat
hiendi
yekaIhel
dhi
m
t
ightl
y
Me"
dontl
eav
eme!I
m scar
ed!
"
Z" t
ogetherbaby,wewi l
lgetthr
ought his
together
"way ekanal
obagy omntanaand
helpedmewal kout
,xasi f
ikakwipassagehe
start
edy el
li
ngoutloud" Mama!!Sarah!!Shesi
n
l
abour !I
tsti
mepeopl e!!
"Thedoorsf l
ungopen
andt hemomscamer ushi
ngout
Z"
mom,
thebabybag,
int
hecl
oset
"
Mom "okay !
"Sherushedinsi
dewhil
eZandmy
Sarahhelpedmedownt hestai
rsal
lthewayt
o
thecar.Iwasinsomuchpai nIcouldntev
en
speak.ZandSar ahwereinthebackwithme
whil
ehismom andmydadwer ei
nthefr
ont,
daddywasdri
vi
ngli
keacrazedman,Auggi
e
waslef
twit
hhisnannyathome.

Wear rivedatt hehospi t

al andIf eltlikekilli
ng
someonewhent hedoct ortoldmet hatIwasnt
readytodel i
veryet.Iwasntev encr yingor
screami ng, j
ustsil
enttear sfall
ingwi thev ery
contractiont hatpassed, Itr
iedt obest rong,Z
hadacamer aandhewasf i
lmingt hewhol e
thi
ng...
somewhi tepeopleshi trightt hereIknow
butIwant edourbabyt oseehowpai nfulitwas
tobringhi mi ntothiswor ldsohecanal way s
appreciatehi smom andIcanusei tfor
emot i
onal bl
ackmai lhehehe  #evil
Laugh  ;)

Iwasinlabourfor10hours,
everyti
methe
doctorcameinandtoldmet hatIwasonly6cm
dil
atedor7cm Iwantedtostr
anglehi
mt odeath.
Itj
ustwasntfunanymore,Iwaslosi
ngmy
mind...tr
yingt obest rongandnotpul lmyhai r
out.Finallyshecamei nandsai dthewor dsI
wantedt ohear ,Iwasr eadyandsowas
baby : ) 
.Zhel dmyhandt hroughi tallasI
pushedl ikemyl if
edependedoni t
..
.aftera
coupleofpushest herewasacr y,thecutt he
umbi l
ical cord,cleanedupmybaby ,wei ghed
him,checkedhi m baur i
ghtnaht henwr apped
him upandgav ehi mt ome.If el
twar mt ears
rundownmyf ace, Ihaddonei t.
..
.Ihad
managedt ogi v
ebi rt
ht othemostbeaut i
ful
babyboy ,Ifeltsoov erwhelmedbyt hel oveI
hadf orhim, hol di
ngmybabyf orthev eryfirst
ti
me. .
..somet hingIwant edtodosi nceIf ound
outIwascar ryi
nghi m.Hi sfat
herwasr ightnext
tome, asIhel dourson
Z"
baby
,he'
sper
fect
..
..
hessobeaut
if
ul"
Sarah"wel
ldoneLena.
..
youwer
esost
rongand
brave.
..
he'
ssohandsome"
Dad"
I'
m agr
andf
ather
 :
) 
"hewast
heone
hol
dingt
hecamer
a"congr
atul
ati
onspr
incess"
Me"
thanksdaddyandy
out
ooSar
ah"
Mom "ooohhhmygoodness!Lookatmy
beaut
if
ulgrandson!Heissohandsomej
ustl
ike
hi
sdaddy!"Ifel
tZsmili
ngovermyshoul
der
Me"
wannahol
dhi
m?"
Z"
canI
?"
Me" y
es"Ihandedhi
m ov
ert
ohi
sfat
her"
that
s
yourdaddy"
Z" I
my ourdaddy,youbeauti
fulhandsomelit
tl
e
boy!Yourmom i ssowonder f
ul.
..
one dayy
ou
willseehowstrongandbr av
eshewasont hi
s
daywheny ouwer eborn"Iwatchedthetwoof
them toget
herandIjustknewIhadi tmade :)

Thefol
lowi
ngday,ZandIwer
ealonewi
thour
babyboyanddeci
dingwhi
chnametogi
vehim
Me"
sowhathav
etodeci
dedt
onamey
ourf
ir
st
bor
nmrPhoswa?
"
Z"
Ireal
l
yli
ket
henameJude"Ismi
l
ed
Me"
real
l
ybabe?
"
Z"
yeahi
tst
henamehi
smom chosef
orhi
m"
Me" y
esbutl
etusnotf
orgetourXhosaroot
s,
shoul
dn'
twegivehi
m aXhosanamet oo?"
Z"
mm okay
..
..
"
Me"ImeanJudewill
beeasyforhi
m,y
ouknow
f
orschool
purposesandst
uff
"
Z"hahahayeahcoshewi
l
lbeat
tendi
ngt
he
bestschool
inSA"
Me" exactl
ypl
us.
..
lookathim..
.hei
sobviousl
y
t
akingaf t
erhi
smot herst
ronggenes"he
l
aughed
Z"
ist
hatso?
"
Me"
youknowi
t!
"
Z"okaykebabe..
.uhmm..
.I
 al
way
swant edt
o
namemyf i
rstbornsonYonwababecauseI
wanthi
mtoal
way
sbehappy
"
Me"
mm YonwabaJudePhoswa.
..
.Il
i
kei
t"
Z"
real
l
y?"
Me"yes"hekissedmeandwebot hl
ookedat
ourboy"hel
loYonwabaJudePhoswa"Iki
ssed
hi
sforeheadandIswearhesmil
edatme.

Aft
erallt
hehurt,t
hepainandtheugl
iness.
..
our
l
ovehadbeent estedonetoomanyti
mesbutal l
ofthatbr
oughtust othi
sverymoment.
..
a
happymarri
edlif
eandt hemostador
ablebaby
boyintheworl
d...
.agai
n,
 whatmor
ecanagi rl
askfor?