NAME: MOMEEZA SAEED

REG NO: 8202

COURSE: WORLD LITERATURE
TITLE: MID TERM EXAM FALL’21 (BOOK REVIEW)
SUBMISSION DATE: 30TH NOVEMBER 2021
As I randomly pulled out an old dusty book from my father’s bookshelf, I saw on the cover, this
beautiful woman lost in some deep thought and the line below read ‘a devastating indictment of
women’s role in Muslim society’. Something struck me and I immediately knew I was going to
read it eventhough, for some reason, my parents insisted that I let go of this book and read
something ‘easier’. Being a person who does not read non-fiction very often and has a very short
attention span; you’ll be surprised that I could not rest without finishing the book that is said to
have shook the Pakistani society to its foundations, within a week. The book which is a blend of
successful portrayal of the vulnerable position of women caught up in a complex web of Muslim
male dominated society and wonderful narration of a woman’s personal journey of self-
realization that encourages other women to stand up for themselves and make their own identity.
The book includes a map of Pakistan, some images of the Khar family and is divided into three
parts;
Part one: lion of Punjab- Tehmina Durrani was raised in an influential but dysfunctional
family. She married Anees for love (basically, to escape her family). Soon after, at age of
21(1974) she fell for Mustafa Khar, a politician whom people found extremely charming. Both
of them cheated on their spouses (Khar’s wife sherry was pregnant at the time), got divorced and
married each other after Tehmina faced some struggles from her family. This was Khar’s 5 th
marriage. Slowly the blind love faded away as Mustafa’s abusive personality revealed itself to
Tehmina and the raging, egoistic and irrationally possessive feudal lord came out in the open.
According to Mustafa a woman like, land, is “power, prestige and a property”. He abused her
emotionally, physically, sexually, verbally in every possible way for the tiniest things that did
not go according to his will and later wept like a baby promising to change his behavior,
confessing he could not live without her. Tehmina remained silent concerning the values taught
at her home and how her family would not accept a divorced daughter. Some parts of her were
convinced that Khar needed help and melted at his apologies. During this time Mustafa
flourished politically, people loved him while his relation with Bhutto was always on a
rollercoaster ride.
Part two: law of the jungle- this was the time of general Zia ul Haq’s dictatorship, Bhutto was
imprisoned and later hanged. The star couple was exiled to London but accepted by the Durrani
family at last. Khar was politically very active, trying to get other exiles and Indian government
to help him overthrow Zia. However, his behavior towards Tehmina worsened and on top of that
he was having an affair with Tehmina’s younger sister, Adila. it gets more disturbing when Miss
Durrani describes the scene; Khar drowning their 1 year old daughter’s head into the bathtub
because he could not bear her crying and later uses their 3 kids as leverage by sending them to
Pakistan only to lure Tehmina back to himself when she filed for divorce. Khar had the Durrani
family wrapped around his fingers and Tehmina was left helpless. Yet she decided to fight for
herself no matter what, eventhough she still admired Mustafa’s political personality and
aspirations. Once again Mustafa Khar successfully manipulated Tehmina into staying and
promised to be the ‘better man’. Tehmina also promises to fight for him till the end, for the sake
of their home and 4 kids as Khar was to be imprisoned as soon as they would land in Pakistan
Part three: lioness- in prison, Khar was miserable yet still in control of the outer world.
Tehmina Durrani campaigned as Tehmina Khar and gathered a lot of support. She felt a change
in Mustafa, he appreciated her wholeheartedly and it seemed that they could finally start a new
and good life. She became a known face in Pakistani politics, trained by Khar himself, and
developed a strong personality with views and understanding of her own. She was able to get
Khar released but the happy days were not for long as Khar could not digest the woman his wife
(puppet) had become. Moreover, the gaslighting and affair with the sister resumed again.
Another disgusting fact; Khar raped Tehmina during a prison visit; her refusal and presence of
the family outside the cell did not matter to him. The divorce became inevitable. Tehmina lost
her family, financial support and shared custody of kids but she moved on with great strength
and decided to break silence by writing this autobiography with the help of some friends and co-
authors William and Marilyn Hoffer.
The theme obviously revolves around our patriarchal society and its unreasonable expectations;
does not matter whether you’re rich or poor, as a woman you have to behave the way you are
‘programmed’ by the society, family and husband. The book highlights how the toxic and
morally dead feudal system and lords in Pakistan have ruined lives of many women; they can’t
even breathe on their own terms let alone take any decision that affects their lives. Tehmina
Durrani is just one of the thousands, who spoke about it at a time when no one would even take
her seriously, her own father disowned her because of the book. It was a very brave move and I
have so much respect for Miss Durrani for doing so.
Khar claimed people would only know her as Mustafa Khar’s ex-wife when he found out about
the book, to which Miss Durrani replied “well Mustafa, now the world will soon know you only
as Tehmina Durrani’s ex-husband” this is my favorite part of the book along with when she
stood up for herself and roared back at Khar when he tried to beat her, spoke to him in his
language and made it clear that he cannot break her any further. What I didn’t like was that she
repeatedly forgave Khar for his actions, compromised and tried to hide his flaws from the world
and her family in fear of being judged by them, she let him control her.
The story may appear to be dry or boring at first but it’s actually a rollercoaster of emotions.
Infact some characters and incidents were so difficult to process as part of real life that reading
about them may make a reader feel that they’re watching a very cliché Pakistani drama. A little
overview of some main characters; Tehmina’s controlling mother did not love her like her other
children because of her slightly dark complexion and her almost invisible father had no say in
anything. There’s nothing in the world like parents’ love and family’s support so what Tehmina
went through with her family left me devastated. What hurt me more was the whole situation
with her sister Adila; are sisters really supposed to be that way? Pakistani dramas like ‘jalan’ are
disliked for showcasing the wrong message but getting to know something like that actually
happened in real life is quite distressing. Adila was equally at fault knowing how Mustafa was,
still repeated the same mistake as Tehmina. Dai Ayesha, the person who got abused the most but
never said a word, there was no purpose to her life other than that. Mr. Mustafa Khar, needless of
any introduction or analysis but reading about this man makes me never want to get married to
be honest. Lastly, the character that inspired me, Tehmina; her growth from a 21 year old taking
an impulsive decision to a wife and mother compromising on everything, to the woman who
prioritizes her wellbeing above all is extremely moving.
Although this is an autobiography and readers may find it exaggerated or biased, but I feel we
should not put a label on a person trying to share with the world what they went through. It’s her
story and Miss Durrani has done absolute justice telling it. The fact that she accepted her
mistake; cheating on her loyal and innocent husband (because she was bored of him and Mustafa
attracted her more) when she could have easily blamed it all on Khar, deserves much
acknowledgment and appreciation because it takes guts to expose your flawed side. She repented
for it and also suffered the consequences. She also maintained Khar’s political image and
encouraged his good leadership qualities despite everything, it’s evident by the fact that Khar is
till date an active politician. She had a platform that could’ve helped her ruin Khar’s life if she
wanted to. But again the book is not about HIM, it’s about HER journey. She has mentioned all
details with frankness and in a dignified way, seems fairly honest. Yet people blame her for
playing the victim card and don’t trust her word because it’s only ‘one side of the story’.
The writing style and vocabulary used are laudable and easy to comprehend. If complicated
Pakistani politics would have been combined with challenging composition, readers like myself
would still be struggling to keep up with the plot. There was a balance between the political
happenings and their personal life almost throughout the book, some parts felt like never-ending
political riots but you fall under the spell as you keep reading, praise goes to the writers off-
course. A movie should definitely not be made on this book because imagining the scenes in
mind only was so tough, watching on screen would be twice as depressing and disturbing.
Neither do I want to change anything in the book itself. Also, I would love to read more work of
Miss Durrani and even others books about matters that should be brought to the attention of the
common people of Pakistan.
Over-all the book is an eye-opener and inspiration for all womankind and I would recommend it
to everyone, even male friends. Miss Durrani gave us ‘my feudal lord’ in 1991 after 14 years of
torture. its 2021 and these problems still exist in many parts of the world specially Pakistan and
India, it’s more of a sickness than a problem and I wish all women could read this book and
understand that no one else can help if they don’t decide to help themselves. No one deserves to
suffer till the point where you’re not even considered a living breathing human being.