7

Use Models!

A Model is an article of the highest standard that serves as a stencil for writing one’s own
manuscript. Concretely, a phrase, sentence, paragraph, transition between paragraphs,
overall layout of a section, table or figure all qualify as Models. A Model has earned its
place: it has been worked, seen by external reviewers and editors, revised and made the
journal’s quality cut. Don’t reinvent the wheel: search for success and emulate it. This chap-
ter discusses the use of Models and walks the reader through real examples.

The Golden Rule of using Models is, in my view, the single most important guide to
writing scientific papers. It’s so important that it needs its own chapter.

An Editor’s Guide to Writing and Publishing Science. Michael Hochberg, Oxford University Press (2019).
© Michael Hochberg 2019. DOI: 10.1093/oso/9780198804789.001.0001
 Use Models! 43

Imagine the following. You go to a classical concert and are enthralled by Syrinx by
Debussy—so much so that you purchase a flute and set out to play. Of course, you have
no playing experience and find it a considerable challenge to even get a resonating
sound out of the cursed thing. You try and try—different air displacements, distances
from and angles to the embouchure hole . . . and finally, through trial and error, you
pinch your lips in just the right way and lo and behold a sound resonates! You are
elated and quickly assemble the flute and action the keys one by one while blowing.
As  a series of youthful notes emerge, you tell yourself: “Now I’m going to learn to
play Syrinx!”
You have some talent and are able to figure out a short suite of notes from memory.
But you are light years from the performance the other evening. You tune into an online
video of the flute solo and watch it over and over again, sometimes in slow motion.
Helpful, but you’re still clunky. You decide you could use some basic technique and
watch various flute lesson videos. You see, understand and review the bases that will
enable you to play and learn further. It’s a huge amount of work, but you steadily improve.
The flute videos served as Models that helped you achieve your own performance.
You chose the Models based on your listening experience, the reputations of the flutists
(that you checked online) and the quality of the performances/lessons themselves.
Models in scientific writing serve a similar purpose.

What is a Model?

A Model is a published article that inspires and aids us in our own writing. A Model
has gone through countless revisions, reviewer comments, editorial and journal
filtering. It has achieved a standard.
Concretely, a phrase, sentence, paragraph, transition between paragraphs, overall
layout of a section, table or figure all qualify as potential Models. Metaphorically, a
Model is like training wheels when we learn to ride a bike. We use them until we feel
confident. But, unlike training wheels, we can return to Models at any time in the
future—and without embarrassment!
Models are magic. When used correctly they guide the writer and enable her to see
just how a section, a paragraph or a sentence can actually work.
But just because an article is published does not make it a Model. Scientists are not all the
same when it comes to writing quality, and journals can differ considerably in the import-
ance they attach to filtering and correcting the scientific prose of the papers they publish.
It is therefore up to you—the writer—to identify those articles that both correspond
to your needs and meet your writing standards.

Choosing a Model

To prepare for writing using a Model, you will need to do two things.
44 An Editor’s Guide to Writing and Publishing science

First, you will need to know what journal style-type you intend to approach. You
don’t want to find yourself emulating one style only then to submit to a journal with
a different type. This said, most of your candidate journals will probably have minor
contrasts between them. Sections like the Materials and Methods and the Results
are  generally standard and easily adaptable between candidate journal choices.
Introduction and Discussion sections are less so.
Second, you will need to choose one or more Model papers. The Models will serve
as “stencils,” and can be used toward numerous objectives, including: thematic flow,
sentence structure, emphasis and even the basis for choices in citations. You are not
tied to a single Model, and more than one paper may serve to help writing of a given
sentence, paragraph or section. Since casting an article can be very discipline-specific,
I recommend choosing several papers on a similar or the same theme as yours.
My suggestion is that you ask yourself: “Which papers did I find clear, precise,
informative and easy to read?” “What paper do I want mine to resemble?” (Note that
we are talking about being inspired by scientific writing style and not copying or being
influenced by intellectual content in one’s writing.) Consider choosing both from papers
recently published in the journal you are targeting, and from other publications that
employ a similar writing approach.

The blind leading the blind. Just because a paper is published in a prestigious jour-
nal and by great scientists does not make it a Model, and you can be unwittingly
doing yourself a disservice by selecting a poor model to emulate. Look for writing
that is clear, active, flows logically and is not wordy. You will know it when you
see it, but it is still helpful—at least in the beginning—to get the opinions of more
senior colleagues.

Just a few pointers before starting:

• Let Models help, but not constrain. Don’t turn to Models for each and every
sentence!
• Beware of using more than one Model for a given paragraph or section of your
paper. Different Models will have at least subtly different writing styles and by using
more than one, you may be creating what is akin to Frankenstein’s monster!
• Do not copy content! The stencil concept teaches you to infer the logic and style
of presentation, not to plagiarize.

Models ≠ Plagiarism

As discussed in Chapter  4, plagiarism is the replication of specific information

originating from a published source without giving due credit. The Oxford English
Dictionary defines plagiarism as:
 Use Models! 45

The action or practice of taking someone else’s work, idea, etc., and passing it off as
one’s own; literary theft.

All plagiarism involves the copying or using material that has some degree of
originality and can be traced to another source. The use of a Model is different: it is a
writing strategy.

The five-word rule. There is no foolproof way to determine all instances of plagiarism.
A group of observers may agree that a string of three words in one instance is
plagiarism, and eight words in another is not. A good guideline is to adhere to the
five-word rule; that is, never copy a string of five or more words from any published
document. Nevertheless, if a particular short expression is important to your
message, then copy it, place it in quotes and provide reference to the source.

Let’s Start!

Now we are ready. You decide to embark on the Introduction. You have read Chapters
5 and 6 and have set up your environment and outlined your paper. You open the
mostly blank word processing document and . . . bang! You don’t even know how to begin.
Now pull out your desired Model and read the Introduction, paying close attention
to the logic of flow and the style. Ignore the science. It may take you anywhere from
10  minutes to perhaps an hour to feel confident that you see and understand what
makes the Model’s Introduction work.
Number each paragraph in the margin. On a separate document—the document
that will become your Introduction—do the following:
For each numbered paragraph in the Model, state on your document what it
generically accomplishes. These are your (temporary) paragraph headings.
For example, “1. This paragraph presents the puzzle of explaining cooperation, espe-
cially in humans.” “2. Presents different mechanisms that may underlie cooperative behav-
iors in humans.” “3. Presents empirical evidence in support of some of these mechanisms.”
“4. Relates a contention to the relevance of what some claim to be the central mechanism.”
“5: States the purpose of the study, how it is executed, and its main findings.”
Next, for each of these headings, list statements of what is done or accomplished.
You may want to do this sentence by sentence. Take, for example, paragraph 2:
2. Presents different mechanisms that may underlie cooperative behaviors in humans.
Sentence 1 (S1) states that a number of mechanisms have been identified
S2 says that that they can be divided into three basic categories (types 1–3)
S3–S4 present type 1 and how it works
S5, presents type 2 . . .
S6, presents type 3 . . .”.

Do this for each paragraph of the Introduction, and then examine the overall structure.
46 An Editor’s Guide to Writing and Publishing science

Example

The first paragraph of the Model1 reads:

Cooperation is a pervasive phenomenon in biological systems, and despite con-

siderable study, its establishment and maintenance are incompletely understood.
Theoretical work starting with Hamilton’s seminal papers identified a number of
key features that promote cooperation. While many empirical studies have tested
theory using social insects and cooperative birds and mammals, a growing num-
ber have employed microbes, given their rapid evolution and experimental con-
trol relative to metazoa. Predators and parasites may either be the basis of social
behaviors, such as cooperative defense, or constitute a cost that potentially impacts
other cooperative behaviors (e.g. resource access and sharing, quorum sensing).
Such costs may differ between individuals adopting different social behaviors,
and include energy or time committed to defense or resistance, or costs associ-
ated with trade-offs involved in evolved resistance to enemies. Despite their
ubiquitousness in nature and demonstrated importance in population ecology
and evolutionary biology, the impacts of natural enemies on the ecology and
evolution of microbial cooperation remain largely unexplored.

Here is a skeleton of this paragraph:

The paragraph gives a brief historical overview of cooperation, then focuses on
work on cooperation in microbes, and then on the effects of predators and para-
sites on microbial cooperation.
Model sentence 1 (M1) describes the overall importance of the topic, and yet it is
not well understood.
M2–3 say that the theory is well developed, and empirical studies abound, many
of them more recently on microbes (transition).
M4–5 say that natural enemies such as predators and parasites may be direct or
indirect causes of social behaviors and gives generic examples.
M6 says that natural enemies are generally important, but impacts on microbial
cooperation are largely unknown (this is the teaser).
Now let’s use the Model to write the first paragraph of your paper. Your study is on
herbivory and host plant population dynamics. There are few apparent similarities
between the Model and your paper but remember that the Model is a guideline for
logical and stylistic support, and nothing more. At each step of the writing process
verify that you are telling your scientific story, and not reproducing the intellectual
content of the Model.
So here we go!

M1 Cooperation is a pervasive phenomenon in biological systems, and despite

considerable study, its establishment and maintenance are incompletely
understood.
 Use Models! 47

My first sentence (S1): “Herbivory is a ubiquitous phenomenon in ecological com-

munities and, despite considerable study, its effects on plant populations are not well
understood.”
Notes: I could have written the end phrase in several different factual ways. In choosing
“effects on plant population dynamics are not well understood” I am revealing a fact
about these systems; that is, I am not creating this as a mirror to the Model. The longest
string shared between Model and manuscript is four words and is perfectly generic.

M2 Theoretical work starting with Hamilton’s seminal papers identified a number

of key features that promote cooperation.

S2: “Empirical work has shown that plants can limit herbivore damage through the
production of defensive chemicals.”
To remain factual, I had to deviate from some of the structural analogies in the Model.
The “how herbivores” is important and will be elucidated in one or more subsequent
paragraphs. Like the Model, my sentence is very general. I will verify its wording later
in one of many revisions.

M3 While many empirical studies have tested theory using social insects and
cooperative birds and mammals, an increasing number have employed microbes,
given their rapid evolution and experimental control relative to metazoa.

S3: “Herbivores may be affected by plant chemicals in different ways, including

altered feeding and dispersal behavior, arrested development and increased sensitiv-
ity to parasites.”
Like before, to remain factual and in continuity with my previous sentence, I have devi-
ated from a 1:1 analogy with the Model. I don’t want to introduce different taxa here,
but rather focus on effects. I may decide at a later point in the Introduction to include
one or more specific systems.

M4 Predators and parasites may either be the basis of social behaviors, such as
cooperative defense, or constitute a cost that potentially impacts other coopera-
tive behaviors (e.g. resource access and sharing, quorum sensing).

S4: “Defensive chemicals are however costly to produce, resulting in slower growth
and lower germination rates than the non-defensive chemical-producing wild type.”
The Model refers to contrasting effects of predators and parasites. Instead, I want to go
directly to costs, since these are a central feature of my study.

M5 Such costs may differ between individuals adopting different social behaviors,
and include energy or time committed to defense or resistance, or costs associ-
ated with trade-offs involved in evolved resistance to enemies.

S5: (Skip)
I decided to skip any analogy here and go directly to the final sentence (the “hook”; see
Chapter 9) of the paragraph.
48 An Editor’s Guide to Writing and Publishing science

M6 Despite their ubiquity in nature and demonstrated importance in population

ecology and evolutionary biology, the impacts of natural enemies on the ecology
and evolution of microbial cooperation remain largely unexplored.

S6: “Despite the pervasiveness of plant defensive chemicals in nature, the role of their
within-population variation and its underlying causes in plant–herbivore population
dynamics remain unexplored.”
This is an important sentence. Indeed, the last sentence of the first paragraph often sets
the tempo for the paper.
The complete first draft paragraph reads as:

Herbivory is a ubiquitous phenomenon in ecological communities, and despite

considerable study, its effects on plant populations are not well understood.
Empirical study has shown that plants can limit herbivore damage through the
production of defensive chemicals. Herbivores may be affected by plant chemicals
in different ways, including altered feeding and dispersal behavior, arrested devel-
opment and increased sensitivity to parasites. Defensive chemicals are, however,
costly to produce, resulting in slower growth and lower germination rates than the
non-defensive chemical-producing wild type. Despite the pervasiveness of plant
defensive chemicals in nature, the role of their within-population variation and its
underlying causes in plant–herbivore population dynamics remain unexplored.

This would not be the definitive paragraph—I will read it over carefully and revise it
for accuracy, possibly add, delete, emphasize or de-emphasize different points, and
add references.

The Exercise

Now that you have seen the basis for how Models work, let’s make them work for you.
Consider again the flute analogy at the beginning of this chapter. Models, such as
face-to-face instruction or videos, will help you improve your playing technique.
This is the same for writing papers, but with the important difference that Models
can help you practice your writing technique or even inspire the final paper itself!
Here is the most important exercise of this book. All you need is:

• To have at least embarked on a research project and, preferably, be ready to

write a manuscript.
• A Model.
The key is the choice of the Model. It needs to be written to a level to which you
aspire. I suggest asking your PI or a senior colleague for suggestions.
 Use Models! 49

1. Pick one paragraph from the article. If this is your first time doing the exer-
cise, then choose the first paragraph of either the Introduction or the
Methods. Copy and paste the paragraph into a text editor. Use the return
key to align the beginning of the sentences of the paragraph on the left
margin, like this:
Model Sentence 1
Model Sentence 2
Etc.
2. Read the sentences one by one, paying close attention to their structure,
logical flow and what they achieve. Ignore the scientific content.
3. Now, read the sentences from the last to the first, paying attention to how
each sentence is predicated (or possibly not) by those above it.
4. Once you are at the top of the sentence list, go back down the list sentence
by sentence and add brief notes under each regarding what made the sen-
tence “work.”
5. Now go back up to sentence 1, and at the end of it, hit the return key so
that there is space for your first sentence.
Model Sentence 1
My Sentence 1
6. Transpose the structure (not strings of words themselves, nor the content!)
of the Model sentence into your own research. See the previous section for
examples of how to do this.
7. Continue down, transposing sentence by sentence.

This whole exercise should take no more than 15 minutes. Be fluid. Once the para-
graph is complete, it is time to revise so that it is coherent and accurate, both
scientifically and with respect to the context of your study. The logic should flow
seamlessly. These revisions should take about the same time as writing the first draft.
Try doing this exercise again with another Model, but this time do not adhere so
closely to the Model structure. There may be phrases or sentences that you do not
emulate, and others that you include in your paragraph (to ensure the logical flow)
which were not inspired by the Model.