“Enjoy your meal!

” I said with a big smile on my face, placing the plates in front of

my customers, and then I made my way back to the kitchen to grab another order.
“Look! Look outside!” Samantha whispered to me, pointing to the big group that was
standing right outside our diner. “I hope I get their table” she laughed, and I just laughed with
her. For a minute, while I was waiting for the food to be ready, I looked at them – all of them
were boys, maybe five or six. They were having some sort of conversation, but they seemed
mad. I was still watching them when they came inside and sat in my section.
“You got lucky, Grace!”
“Oh, Sam. They even smell like trouble.” I walked up to them, not knowing what to
expect.
“Hi, I’m Grace. Are you ready to order?”
“Yeah…Grace. We might need a few minutes, we can’t decide. Can you come back?”
one of the boys said. I took a moment to look into his eyes, and I felt like I was lost in that
deep blue. He was handsome, I can’t deny that.
“S-sure. I’ll come whenever you’re ready.” I stuttered, making my way to the bar, and
I took a seat on one of the chairs, waiting. I was taking a glimpse of my undecided
customers; they all looked … expensive? I don’t know how else to put it, but they definetly
didn’t belong in this trashy diner. What could they possibly be doing here? Two of them
were wearing suits, but they put their jackets aside, opening a few buttons of their shirt, and
raising their sleeves, giving me and anyone else who decided to look, a glimpse of a few
tattoos: one of them had a big, but somewhat stylish cross on his neck, another had different
symbols on his knuckels. But the thing that caught my eye the most was the big snake that
looked like he was wreathed arund their arms. The other guys, although they wore more
casual clothes, also had that snake tattoo. I wonder what that meant…
“Are you bloody joking?!” I saw one of the guys standing up, pulling out something
from under his jacket. A gun. He started to point it to the one who told me to come back.
“You’re dead, you hear me?! Dead!” My heart was racing so fast, and I felt like I had no air
left. Without realizing, I was heading in their direction. Everyone started to pannick, and I
am sure I heard cries and screams, as everyone rushed to get out of this place.
“Sir, I beg of you, put the gun down.” I found myself standing at their table, with my
pen and paper shaking in fear. This is so stupid of me. What am I thinking?!
“I’m calling the police, you bastard!” one of the customers said. My eyes widened
when he pointed the gun at this poor man, who desperately tried to call 911.
“This is Medici’s business. Don’t you dare interfere. I don’t care if I ruined your
bloody meal!”
Medici. Oh… oh, God. The Mafia.
 “911. What’s your emergency?” as the man was preparing himself to speak, the man
with the gun in his hand stepped towards him, and took the phone out of his hand, putting it
on speaker phone.
“This is Riccardo Medici. We just had a misunderstanding, that’s all.” He spoke with
so much power, he sent shivers down my spine.
“Oh. I apologise, Mr. Medici. Have a good day.”
With that being said, Riccardo hung up the phone, handing it back to its owner. He smiled
sarcastically. “From now on, mind your business.” And pointed the gun to the big windows,
and started shooting like a maniac, breaking the glass into a million pieces.
As soon as he said that, he pushed me down to the floor and I put my hands on my head like
a shield. My heart felt like it could explode at any minute from the adrenaline rushing trough
my veins. This guy created a really big commotion, making everyone fear for their life.
“Oh, come on! I didn’t even hurt anyone. Stop screaming like animals...” he spoke so
casually, like what he did wasn’t even a big deal. I lifted my head to get a better look at this
man, and I felt my stomach drop – he looked rough. He had scars all over his face and neck,
and his eyes matched those of a rabid dog. If insane had a definition, he was absolutely it.
After he scanned the room a second time, he put the gun away and made a sign to those men
who were still sitting comfortably at the table. They all got up like nothing happened, and
headed towards the door. I was still on the floor, looking down like a lost puppy. I barely
noticed the expensive shoes sitting right in my face, and for a moment I thought he was going
to hurt me.
“You... you are done, Carter. I promise you that.” After he said that, he was gone. It
happened so fast that it almost felt like a dream. I realised that he was talking to the blonde
guy that he pointed the gun to. He was right next to me.
Slowly, everyone started to get up. We were all in a state of shock. I got up, looking around
at all the mess, and I knew I won’t leave this place for a while.
“You ok?”
“Yeah... I guess.” I stared at him a little too much, but I couldn’t help it. He was a
perfect mix of half devil, half angel. The contrast of his blue eyes, golden curls and bronzed
skin matched perfectly with his black clothes and tattoos.
“I’m so sorry for all of this. I didn’t think it would turn out this way.”
“For what is worth, I thought I would just have a boring day today. Turns out you
almost got killed in our diner.”
He laughed. “I won’t go out that easy, that’s for sure. Here... for the trouble.” He handed me a
stack of cash. It must have been a few hundred dollars, at least. Obviously, dirty money. Should I
even take money from a gangster?
 “Look... I can’t take it. From what I saw today and heard around town, you’re no good.
And I don’t even know you.”
“I insist.” He placed the money in my hands. “I’m Carter... now you know something about
me. If you tell me your name too, maybe you won’t consider we are complete strangers anymore.”
He smiled warmly.
“Well... I’m Grace. And I’m still not taking your money.” He giggled.
“Maybe I’m lucky enough to see you again.”
And he was.
After this brief conversation, he started to come to the diner almost everyday. He would order
something simple – a beer, a sandwich, even a water bottle. Anything, if it meant that he could get
a chance to talk to me. At first I was hesitant, as I didn’t want to surround myself with this kind of
man, because even the thought of what his life was like terrified me. He never gave up on me... I
could see, clear as day, that I intrigued him because I wasn’t trowing myself at him. I could only
assume that men like him knew exactly the power they held within society – especially within
women. But somehow I gave him a chance. I wasn’t so stiff anymore, I started to let myself laugh
at his jokes that were actually really funny, and even on serious topics, he proved that we shared
the same beliefs. He was actually a really smart man, as I came to find out. The only difference
between us was that I could see the darkness in him, fighting with the good that was left. On the
opposite, I loved to be good and do good, as I always followed the rules and did everything by the
book. But you know what they say, opposites attract.
So before I knew it, we became really close, to the point that I would check the clock everyday
around 2 p.m., because he always showed up on this time, never too early, and never late. And
after he took me on our first date, it was clear that he would be either the best thing that ever
happened to me, or the worst breakup I would come to experience.
California, 1998. Everyone had a story about Carter Gunn. You could go anywhere in town to
hear a thing or two about him. But I was there, and the truth lived within me. He lived by the
blood oath he took when he became the leader. He was the definition of a true gangster. A
gangster prince, ready to conquer the world. I knew he was trouble from the moment I met him,
but I couldn’t help but come back for more. But Carter was different... I knew he loved me, but in
order for me to love him, I had to love the danger that came along. Believe me when I say, it took
a lot of love for me to hate him the way I do.
After all, this was a gangster’s paradise. You live with it or you run from it.

April 29th, 1998.

“I think he’s here!” Sam yelled from the living room, looking trough the window, trying to
get a better glimpse at Carter.
“How do I look?” I asked her, looking in the mirror at every tiny detail.
 “You’re gorgeous.” She smiled. “Just go and have some fun, you deserve it.”
“You’re going to be good here while I’m gone?” I said as I grabbed my purse and headed
towards the door.
“Oh, nonsense. You worry about me while you have a smoking hot man waiting outside.
Go! I’ll wait, and we can have a glass of wine while you tell me everything.”
She opened the door for me, and I waved her goodbye with a big smile on my face. She is indeed
a great friend. We’ve been by each other’s side since college, sharing an apartment and working
together. I guess you could say she is my person. My family was in a completely different state, so
she was the closest thing I had to a family member.
As I walked towards his car, I felt butterflies everywhere in my body. This was our fifth date
already, and I couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed by the emotions. You know that saying, when
you know you know? I felt like we knew each other since the beggining of time. Even though the
circumstances of our first meeting were not the best, he turned out to be really nice... a true
gentleman by heart. Still, I knew very well that I was dancing with the devil. And I loved every
single step.
He opened the door for me, and once he got into the car, I leaned over for a kiss.
“You look really nice today.” He smiled and kissed me back.
“You don’t look so bad yourself, mister.” I giggled as I pulled away, and I looked at him
with pure adoration in my eyes. He returned the gesture, and I felt like a teenager again, not
thinking too much of it... just enjoying the moment. While I cannot deny the fact that his presence
brought me joy and happiness, a part of me still wanted to know the bad, gruesome truth about
him. I knew what the whole town knew... he is a gangster. I had an idea about what that really
meant, but I wanted to hear it from him, to have that talk. But how? He never withheld his
emotions or feelings he had towards me, but deep down I couldn’t help but wonder... was it just a
mask?
“Penny for your thoughts.”
“I keep thinking that even if this is our fifth date, we still failed to approach some topics
about ourselves.” This is why I loved being around him. Usually, I was shy and didn’t really speak
my mind. With him, it comes naturally.
“Oh...” He looked concered. “Well, if I had to guess, it’s about the things you heard about
me.”
“Yeah. I won’t run out this car if you are at least a little bit honest with me. I just want to
know what I’m dealing with, you know?”
He took a moment to breathe. I could tell he was choosing his words carefully.
“While I walk this earth, you won’t hear me say I’m a good guy, because I’m not.
Sometimes... well, this job requires coldness, for the most part. And fairness.”
 “So you’re not denying what they say? That you’re a ... a...”
“Gangster? Murderer? No.” He sounded very serious. “I have my fair share of sins that I
will pay for one day. But I’m not the devil. I did choose this life tho, because I didn’t really see a
brighter future for me, and now the only way I can step away from this is in the trunk of a car,
with a bullet in my head.”
When I heard the word “murderer”, my blood ran cold. I couldn’t imagine him hurting somebody
like that.
“So there’s no way out?”
“No way out. I took an oath, and signed it with my blood. Seems like for me, death is the
solution to all my problems.”
I paused for what it seemed like forever, trying to think of a good answer to this new information.
He knew he was in the wrong, probably more than anyone. But the problem with me was that I
was so invested in this relationship, that I knew I wasn’t about to leave him. He offered me safety,
comfort, respect, and love. He made me feel like he was protecting me, and in a way, he really did.
“Please say something...” I could see the pain in his eyes, probably thinking I was about to
get out of the car and leave him for good. I knew it wasn’t the brightest decision, but my heart
wanted something much stronger than any sense I should have had.
“Will I be safe with you?”
He sofltly lifted my hands to his lips, kissing them. “The safest.”
“And what about the guns, and threats, and the danger?” I had shivers down my spine just by
thinking about our first meeting, and that man raging with the gun.
“I can’t promise that everything will suddenly stop, because I’m a lot of things, but a liar is not
one of them. I’m just a member of their business, so I’m either doing what I’m told, or...”
“Yeah, the trunk and the bullet in the head. I know.”
“But what I can promise is that I’ll protect you with my life.”

We spent the rest of the night as any other couple would – we had dinner, took a walk in the big
city, and he even bought me a big bouquet of roses when we passed a flower shop. In that moment
of my life, I didn’t realise the severity of my actions. I willingly put myself in danger. But for him,
I thought it was worth the risk. I never loved like that before, and I would’ve done anything for
him. I would lie if I said that he didn’t love me back. But Carter was complicated – he loved the
power and the respect he got. After a few months, I realised with great sadness that there was no
way he would give up this life. It wasn’t just a lifestyle anymore, it represented him. And the
greater the power, the thirstier the man is. It’s just in their nature. Power tends to corrupt, and
absolute power corrupts absolutely.
June 7th, 1998.
This was a particular unforgettable night.
I was asleep when the doorbell rang. As I was home alone, as Sam had a night shift, imagine my
surprise when I heard it. At first I assumed that someone pulled a prank on me, because I wasn’t
sure who could be at my door at 3 a.m. I got up and looked trough the door sight – it was Carter.
I opened up as fast as I could.
“Carter, baby, what are you doing here?”
He didn’t respond. Instead, he fell into my arms, and I quickly realised he was bleeding. I grabbed
his face and screamed his name, again and again, with tears forming in the cornes of my eyes.
“I wanted to see you...” He cracks a big smile, and I saw the blood he had in his mouth, covering
his teeth. His breathing was rough.
“This is no time for jokes! Are you hurt?” I tried to keep my calm, but I found myself looking for
a stab wound, or a bullet wound... anything. I just couldn’t lose him like that.
“I...I have a cut. There.” We were sitting on the floor, and I placed his head in my lap. He showed
me a wound on his hand, and when he lifted his shirt, I could see he was cut pretty bad.
“Oh... let’s get them cleaned up.” I helped him get on the couch, and I brought the first – aid kit. I
started cleaning the wounds as best as I could, and he stood still, almost like a child when his
mother cleans up a small wound after he failed to ride his bike. I put the bandages on as best as I
could, and I saw him clech his jaw in pain. I felt a lot better knowing that he wasn’t stabbed or
shot, but still... I couldn’t help but wonder what he got himself into.
“I’m so thankful I have you.”
“You got some explaining to do, mister.” I put my hand on my hip. He smirked, and he looked
awful with part of his face swollen, a black eye and bloody and muddy clothes.
“I got into a fight with one of the guys. We found out he was stealing money.”
“Really?” I raised my eyebrow, trying to read his body language, but he was like a rock when it
came to this kind of stuff. He kept a straight face, just nodding his head.
“I didn’t really want to go to a hospital. I hate them.” He looked at his feet, not wanting to make
eye contact with me.
“Look at me.” I gently touched his face. “The most important thing is that you’re ok. And I hope
he learned his lesson.”
“He’ll be alright.”
“Please, don’t do something you’ll regret. Spare him, just once.”
He smiled and pulled me into his arms. “You’re too good, Grace.”
“Will you stay the night?” I asked, almost begging him. Since the last time I slept in his arms, I
couldn’t wait to do it again. He was my safe heaven.
“Of course.”
I didn’ really like to ask questions... I didn’t know what to believe. From what I saw, his wounds
and bruises were credible. But if that was the case, it was one hell of a fight, from both sides. We
never spoke about his lifestyle, and in the cases where we did talk, I didn’t want to know more
than necessary. It gave me nightmares sometimes, just the thought of my beloved Carter doing this
gruesome actions towards someone. It didn’t sit right with me.
I hugged him tight for the rest of the night, thinking about the moment when he collpsed into my
arms. For a moment there, I thought I lost him. I was so scared of losing him, and this moment
alone showed me just how much I was hooked to him. There was no way I would back out now, I
was too invested. I looked at him, while he peacefully sleeped next to me. My heart was aching for
him while I studied his bruises and those cuts I somehow managed to patch-up. But then, my
thoughts ran to the other guy, and how bad he was hurt. I wonder if he had anyone to care for his
wounds, to hug him?
They hurt each other for money, for power. They used the law of jungle – this code dictated
survival by any means possible. They were exactly like animals, fighting for their spot onto the
top. Most of these man had families, friends and girlfriends waiting for them at home, hoping and
praying that when they go out the door, they come back safe and sound. Soon, I became one of
them, praying to God that my beloved won’t return to me in a coffin. Boy...was I wrong.

July 21st, 1998.

“I’m so nervous!” I laughed, looking out the window.
“They will love you, I promise.” He placed his hand on my thigh, and it managed to calm
me down a bit. I was about to meet his mother, and his step – father. Carter told them a while ago
that he met me, and his mother was ecstatic. I knew Carter didn’t really have serious relationships,
or most of them, even if they were serious, didn’t last long enough.
I was away from my family, as they were all the way up in Virginia, and even after college, I
didn’t move back home. I saw Los Angeles as an opportunity, and I took the job at the diner in
order to save money – I studied to become a nurse, but my dream was cut short by the lack of
money. So here I was, working by minimum wage to finish my year.
I wish my parents were able to meet Carter, and finally see me happier than ever.
I knew for a while that Carter’s biological father had left him and his mother when he was only
three years old, and it really took a toll on him growing up – his mother struggled a lot to raise him
as a single parent, until one day when she met Robert, a man who stepped in without hesitation to
raise the little boy as his own. Now Carter, all grown – up, is doing his best to show his grattitude
towards him, and visits often, as I recall him telling me. But this time was different, because I
knew he was so proud to introduce me to his family.
“We’re here.” He parked the car, and we both got out. It was such a simple, yet modern home. The
alley towards the entrance was filled with roses on each side, and I could see how deeply they
were cared for. We didn’t even have time to ring the doorbell, because his mother already opened
the door and greeted us with a big smile.
“Oh, my boy! I’ve missed you so much!” She hugged him tight. “And you must be Grace! Look at
you, you’re so lovely!”
“Yes, thank you so much!” She also hugged me, tighter than I expected, but I returned the
gesture. She was such a warm person.
“Oh, God! I didn’t even introduce myself. My name is Angela.” Carter looked exactly like
her, as they both had natural, curly blonde hair, and deep blue eyes. Their face structure was
almost identical, it was crazy.
“They’re here?!” I heard a man’s voice coming from from somewhere in the house. When he
approached the doorstep, my heart dropped instantly – he was in a wheelchair, and I could see
how fast he was trying to spin the wheels, so he could see us. I smiled at him before he even said a
word. He looked like such a nice guy, you could see it all over his face just how happy he was. He
even had tears in his eyes, but his smile radiated pure joy.
“Dad...” Carter stepped forward, leaning towards him for a hug. I could see the love and respect
they shared.
“It’s so nice to see you, kids. You must be the beautiful Grace we kept hearing so much about.”
“I’m so happy to be here and finally meet you!”
“Let’s get inside, the food is getting cold!” His mother said and rushed us inside. Carter stayed
back with his father for a second, and I decided to give them a moment to themselves, while I
followed Angela into the kitchen.
“Can I help with anything?”
“Oh, dear. You are a guest, I can’t put you to work.”
“I insist.”
She accepted after a few more tries, and after we set up everything, we sat down and ate. She
surely had a gift, because her food tasted like it came right from Heaven. We had small talk,
getting to know each other. They were such good people, and for a moment I felt like home. I
could see Carter from across the table, smiling. In that very moment, I thanked God for
everything, good or bad, because it lead me to this point in life.
After dinner, Carter and Robert went outside to discuss about the car they were trying to bring
back to life. From my understanding, the reason why Robert was put in a wheelchair was because
of an accident he had a few years back. And he refused to get rid of the car he had the accident
with, stating that he promised Carter since he was only nine years old that someday it will be his.
Before all of this, Robert used to be a mechanic, and he taught Carter everything he knew, passing
down to him his passion for cars.
“They always bonded over cars.” Angela said while we were still sitting at the table, taking a sip
of her wine.
“Yeah, I can see how much they care for one another.”
“It’s good to see him happy, it suits him. Thank you so much for that.” She took my hand and
looked me in the eyes, and all I could see was a mix of gratitude and sadness. “It’s been a while
since I’ve seen him smiling.”
“Oh...” I didn’t really know what to say. “Please, you don’t have to thank me.”
“But I do. You are an angel, and believe me when I tell you, he needed someone like you.”
“Oh, you’re too kind.” I was surprised to hear that.
“I was so worried about him. You know, that street racing he’s doing... he could get hurt, or even
get arrested! You know how police treats street racers!” So this is all that she knew... it wasn’t
really a lie, because sometimes he did actually participate in races, but it was more like a hobby to
him. She probably thought that all the money he sent was from winning races.
“Don’t worry about it, really. I know it’s not the best thing for him, but I can assure you he’s safe
and nothing bad will happen to him.”
She nooded, but remained silent. I felt so bad to lie to her, but I knew it was for the best.
It wasn’t long until we headed back home. In the two – hour drive, I made sure I scolded him for
lying to his mother like that. I knew he could never tell her the truth, as it would ruin her
completely, but that look she had when she imagined her son being hurt never left my mind.
“You know why I had to do that, baby. I have to protect them.”
“ I know., but I agree with her. I fear for your safety everyday.”
“Besides the fact that I’m being Jack Ketch everyday, I promise you have nothing to worry
about.”
We didn’t head straight home. We stopped at the beach, and took a long walk, enjoying the waves
and the warm sand. He put his hand on my shoulder, and we kept walking like that in complete
silence. And it felt good to have nothing to say for a while, just being in each other’s presence.
“I could see how much they both love you.”
He remained silent for a while. He already knew everything I was about to say, and I already knew
the answers.
“I’m trying to be better, you know?” He broke the silence and stopped walking. “But it’s so hard
for me to do the right thing sometimes.”
“Do you think you could ever step away?” I was hoping for a certain “yes.”
“I’m getting there. But I still have some things to take care of, then I’m all yours.” He said,
grabbing my waist and pulling me into an intense kiss. I wish I could just stay here, in this
moment. It felt so good to be loved and cared for. I was dreaming about our life toghether, when
he would step away and be finally free from everything. How foolish of me to think I deserved
that kind of endind to my story. My happily ever after.
“I love you so much, remember that. Maybe it’ll keep you going.”
“I love you too, my angel.”
Having somewhere to go means you have a home. Having someone to love means you have a
family, blood or not. Having both means you are beyond blessed. Carter and I were blessed, but
cursed as well. Life doesn’t ask if you are prepared for what it may throw at you, and no one asks
if it’s too much or not – you deal with it. What else could you do?

September 30th, 1998.

“I think you’re just messing with me!” Carter helped me walk, as I covered my eyes with
one hand, while I used the other to let him guide me. Suddenly, he stops.
“Open your eyes.”
I was shocked beyond words. I was standing in front of a big, luxurious mansion.
“What are we doing here?”
“I just bought it!” He said and showed me a pair of keys. I couldn’t believe my eyes. He always
told me how he dreamed about a big, lavish home. But seeing his dream come true warmed my
heart. I jumped into his arms, hugging him tightly.
“How?” I said as I broke the hug, looking into his eyes.
“I saved a lot of money in the last year, and finally I made an offer they couldn’t refuse. Do you
like it?”
“I love it! But it must have been so expensive!”
“It was... but it was totally worth it. Let me give you a tour.”
The entrance had mahogany double doors, that were painfully hard to open. My eyes instantly set
on the security sistem he had, and I could bet my money on the fact that he had one at the entrance
gates. As you walked in, the first room of the house was the foyer. It had dark hardwood flooring,
complimented by the big, glass ceiling that invited the natural light inside. The stairway was
placed right in the middle, and it seemed like it was made from the same hardwood as the floors.
When you walked forward, you were greeted by a big livingroom, with big windows on the left
side, as big as the wall they were on. I came to the conclusion it was an italian style mansion,
because of the way it was decorated. It had a big, rustic rug in the middle, right where the couch
was seated, along with two armchairs, in front of the chimney. An all glass coffee table was put
there as well, and on top of it was already a vase with fresh sunflowers in it. In the back of the
couch was another table, but this one was made of wood, and was slightly bigger. On top of this
one, another vase with sunflowers was placed, and also some books. Then, in the corner, right
beside one of the big windows, was a piano, and the brightness it had, as it probably had never
been used, reflected into the chandelier hanging from the ceiling.
“So...?”
“It’s breathtaking!”
“Wait ‘til you see the rest.”
“It’s so elegant... It suits you.”
“It could suit you as well.”
“Huh?”
“Well, this house would be empty without you. Whenever you’re ready, you could move in full –
time, if you wish.” I saw the hope in his eyes.
I took a few moments to respond, breathing in and out more than necessary. “Do I have to give
you an answer right away?”
“No.” He looked a little disappointed. “But you’re always welcomed here, and you could at least
stay for a few days. It’s a start, right?” He smirked.
“That I could do.”
We continued the tour of the mansion, and it was insanely beautiful. Deep down I was thinking
about the amount of money he spent here, and where it came from, but I brushed the thought away
as quickly as I could. I loved the fact that I was by his side in this big moment of his life. He was
smiling the entire time, still keeping the keys in his hands. When we arrived in the garage, it was
like he just walked the Gates of Heaven.
“Wow.” I was speechless. I was looking at a few million dollars at least, just sitting nicely in his
garage. I recognized some of the cars, but he had so many, it completely blew my mind.
“They are my babies.” I laughed harder than I should have. “This was my very first car. It’s called
a Toyota Supra, and it came around ‘93.” I made sure I was paying attention to everything that he
said. I looked at the car – the color was a little too much for me, as it was a bright orange, with
designs that resembled angels on both of the doors. He looked so proud of this car, like it was an
old friend that held his hand troughout his steps in life – and maybe it did.
I kept walking in the big garage, looking at his prized possessions, admiring every single one of
them. I felt his eyes on me the entire time.
“I can feel you watching me!” I giggled. “I’m not gonna ruin them, you know?”
“Oh, baby, you can never ruin something. I was just thinking...”
“About what?”
He just started to walk towards me, and I could see a smirk, turning into a smile.
“You didn’t really think I would buy all of this for myself and not get you anything, did you?”
“It was about time you bought me some flowers.” I giggleded.
“I got you flowers... besides other things...”
“What things?”
He leaned on the hood of a red car, and after I realised what he was trying to say, I screamed like a
baby on Christmas day. It was a Ford Mustang from 1967, and I remembered I used to tell him
how I dreamed about this car for years. But for him to actually buy it... for me? No way.
“You bought me... a car?!”
“Maybe?”
“Carter!” I couldn’t help but cover my face, while I was sobbing.
“Oh, God... If you don’t like it, it’s okay, we’ll change it. No big deal, but please stop crying...”
“No...” I uncovered my face to look at him. “This is so nice, and unexpected... I don’t know what
to say!” I mumbled my words.
“Say yes! Say yes to the car, baby. You deserve it. You just got back to nursing school, and you’re
graduating in february! Think of it as an early present.” A present... the only reason I got back to
school was because he paid the tuition.
“But you spent so much money already... And you bought this car for me...”
“If I can see that pretty smile of yours everyday for the rest of my life, I don’t care about no damn
money.”
“But you paid for the car, the school...”
“And I’ll do it again, I don’t care about that, but what I care about is your happiness and
well – being.”
“But I didn’t really get you anything and...”
“You pulled me from the darkness. It’s more than money could have ever I bought for me.”
I felt overwhelmed by the emotions running trough my body – this man really loved me with his
whole body and soul. I knew he expected nothing back from me, besides than finishing school. He
was so proud of me to finally be able to get a good education, and I was proud of myself for
having someone by my side to support my dreams and goals, and to push me to be better.
“Can we go for a drive?” I asked.
“I have a better idea. Let’s go out to dinner, and we can take your car.”
“I’d love that.”
And that is exactly what we did. He took me to a place called “Lily’s Heaven”, and it was its
opening night. At the door, right before we got in, Carter introduced me to Sean McCarthy, also
known as the Iceman. He was a big, tall guy, all dressed up in an elegant suit, similar to the one
Carter was wearing. Even tho he seemed like a scary guy at first, he was actually a really nice
person – he was wearing a beret, and he took it off when he greeted me, like a form of respect. He
shook Carter’s hand, and opened up the door for me.
“Thank you.”
As we got seated at a small, rounded table, right in front of a stage where a girl, probably not
much younger than me, sang Michael Bolton’s “When a Man Loves a Woman”. While I enjoyed
the song, I caught a glimpse of Carter, resting his head on his hand, looking at me with nothing but
love in his eyes.
“What?” I laughed nervously, as I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear.
“You’re beautiful.”
“You’re beautiful too.”
“Who, me?” He giggled.
“Yes, you!”
While we were talking, a bartender came up to our table, holding a small tray with two glasses of
champagne. He placed them in front of us, and he walked off right after.
“Did we order anything?” I asked, knowing we did not.
“These probably were on the house.”
“How’s that?”
“There’s something else I wanted to tell you.”
“What else did you do?” I said half serious, half joking.
“I bought the place. Oficially, this is my legal bussiness. Of course, I have my boys here to help
with the work, but I’m doing a great job so far.”
“So, the guy from the entrance is one of your guys?”
“Yeah. Also, the bartender. And a few other guys, but that’s not the point, baby. I’m on the way to
a new path, just for you!”
“Is this for real? You’re really trying?” I couldn’t hide my enthusiasm. He actually listened to my
advice about going legal, finally.
“I am. We have to be patient tho, it just opened. But I do have high hopes.”
We enjoyed each other’s company, while listening to the girl on the stage. My night couldn’t get
better... I was living my dream! I couldn’t be more happier.
“Carter, can we have a moment, please? I’m sorry to bother you, but it’s urgent.” One of his guys,
I assumed, approached him. He was tall, skinny, wearing a blue suit that really complimented his
figure.
“Arthur, tonight I’m not working. I have a nice girl here, and I’m trying to enjoy my night. Can I
do that in peace?” Carter spoke with a cold attitude, reminding me of Riccardo, and the first time I
met him.
“Boss, this is important.” Arthur looked so concered.
“It’s okay, you can go.” I touched Carter’s hand, assuring him that I was fine with being by myself
for a couple of minutes.
“Patrick, stay with her.” Carter got up and walked away with Arthur.

“What is it?”
“You see that guy?” Arthur asked me. “That’s that detective that kept following us for the past
few months, since you offed Riccardo.”
“Does he have anything on us?”
“No actual proof. Allegations only.”
“Come on.”
I started to walk towards the bar, knowing Arthur had my back. This guy started to piss me off,
showing up while Grace was here.
“You don’t give up, do you?!” I grabbed his shirt, pulling him towards me.
“I just came to see you, all legal.” He was mocking me.
“Why don’t you get the hell out of here, huh?!” I was pulling him towards me more and more,
ready to smash his face. But I knew I couldn’t do that. Grace would murder me on the sport if I
pulled anything like that in her presence.
“Oh, I will. I wanted to tell you tho, this is not going to last. Sooner or later, I’ll get some proof on
you... murderer.”
I felt my blood boiling. I knew I should feel ashamed, but all I could feel was anger. I would suffer
a hundred life sentences if it meant that she would never found out what I did.
I clenched my fist, and I did everything in my power to stop myself from beating him right here.
“You have nothing to prove here, detective. I’m clean and so are my guys. After all, I’m just a
club owner.” I smirked. “Arthur, show our guest where the exit is.”
“I’d be happy to.”
I stormed off, trying to put myself together so she won’t see me like this. This is a bloody mess.

“Hi, baby!” I smiled at Carter as he sat down next to me, taking my hand into his, kissing it gently.
“Is everything alright?”
“Oh, yeah, that was nothing. I’m sorry I left you alone, did I miss anything?”
“Nope, just me.”
“Please forgive me. It won’t happen again.”
While we were enjoying our night, I saw a photographer taking everyone’s picture, so we asked
him for a couple of shots – they were typical, with us sitting at our table, smiling nicely for the
camera. But I loved taking photos, as they were a living memory of my life.
We spent the rest of the night chatting with some of the guests, friends of Carter’s, and listening to
good music while enjoying a glass of champagne or wine. Little did I know, it was the calm before
the storm.

Love is blind sometimes. But it’s also pure, and this is why I loved being in love. I love the feeling
of living the unknown, because this is what taught me to keep going sometimes: the surprise of
tomorrow. If Carter taught me anything, it’s that we don’t know what the future holds for us, and
we should live by the edge sometimes, letting the adrenaline rush trough our veins. My life
became meaningful when I realised that I’ll never get the same moment twice. As it turns out,
sometimes it’s good to be scared, and to do the wrong thing. I used to think that my life was
perfect when I found Carter... I thought that I hit the jackpot, even. In my eyes, he could do no
wrong. My dream life became my nightmare, and before I knew it, everything shattered, right in
my face.

November 15th, 1998.

“So I’ll see you around 2?” I asked as I got ready to get out of the car and head into the
diner.
“As always, angel.” He kissed my forehead, and then we parted ways. I got to work pretty quickly,
as I was already late.
“Finally! I thought you just left me!” Sam said. It was packed today.
“Sorry! I’ll make it up to you.”
My day went by really fast, as I had a lot to do. It was unusual to be this packed, but I managed to
keep it moving and before I knew it, it was almost 2 p.m. and Carter was about to show up any
minute now.
“Hey, can you take the order from table five? I still have two more tables over there that I
have to take care of.” Sam asked, obviously exhausted.
“Sure, no problem.” I headed towards the table. “Hi, my name is Grace. Can I take your order?”
“I’ll have a coffee, please. With milk and no sugar, thanks.”
“I’ll be back in a minute.”
While I was waiting for the coffee to be made, I was keeping an eye outside, to make sure he
arrived. While I walked back to the table, I couldn’t help but notice that this guy was looking at
some documents, that he closed immediately when he noticed I was near him. Weird, but I’ve seen
worse.
“Here you go. Can I get you anything else?”
“Actually, yes. Why don’t you have a seat, darling?”
“I am not supposed to sit down with my clients while I’m working. And please don’t call me that.”
“I’m just curious... what does a girl like you have to do with this kind of guy?” He slammed a few
photos on the table. As I looked down at them, I recognized Carter right away – there were
pictures of us, and some while he was in some kind of restaurants, or even on the street, talking to
some random people. At least, that’s what it seemed, but I knew better – those were not random
people. The target of this stranger was Carter, but the guys in the pictures, standing beside him,
were his parteners, as I came to find out after a few nights out at “Lily’s Heaven”. Clearly, I
couldn’t say that I didn’t know what he was talking about, as I was with him on some of the
pictures. But what do you say in a moment like that?
“I’m just a normal girl hanging out with her boyfriend. I don’t see nothing wrong with that.”
“What about his lifestyle? Ain’t nothing wrong with that?”
“He’s owning a club. I don’t see a wrong in owning a club. Can I get you anything else? ‘Cause I
have work to do and you’re kind of bothering me.”
As I said that, I heard footsteeps behind me, and I turned my head back to see who it was.
“Carter! I’m almost done here, you cand wait for me at the bar until I finish my shift.”
“Who’s bothering you?” He didn’t even blink, looking right at the guy from the table. “You gotta
be kidding me.” He went straight for his neck, grabbing it and pusing him to the ground. “You
think this is a joke, huh?” He started punching him agressively, and I gasped in shock. They
started a full – blown fight, and I just stood there. I was too stunned to move, speak or do anything
else. Carter was punching him again and again, without stopping. He was like a machine, ready to
fight at any point.
“Carter, stop it!” I wanted tp step in, but Sam pulled me back. “Carter!” I shouted as hard as I
could, and he stopped, looking at me with the biggest regret on his face. He had blood on his hand,
and he was breathing heavily. I covered my mouth with my hand, but my eyes could tell it all –
shock, fear, you name it. He got up, trying to walk towards me, but Sam stopped him right away.
“Don’t!”
“Grace, please... Let me explain...”
“Do you know you’re defending a murderer?! You bitch, he’s gonna be your downfall, your hear
me? You’ll rot in prison, just for him!” The beaten up guy shouted, while some customers helped
him get up.
I took off my apron and threw it, practically running out of the diner. I knew he was right behind
me, but I felt the need to get as far as possible. I kept repeating in my head “murderer” like a
mantra. I just didn’t understand why that stranger would look out for me, and all that pictures...
Something was up and I was about to find out.
“Baby!”
“What the hell was that?! Why did you have to do that?!”
“I... I...”
“Who’s that guy? What did you do, Carter?!”
He just looked at me. He didn’t even try to think of a lie. I asked a second time. “What did you
do? Why did he call you a murderer?”
“Because I am!”
That came harder than expected.
“There is more to that, God damn it! I know you might be one, but you did something serious for
him to go out of his way to find me. So what did you do?!”
“Let’s get out of here, and we’ll talk, I promise.”
“No,I’m standing right here, and you’re gonna tell me what the hell is going on!”
He paused, looking at me in disbelief – he never saw me angry, and I never even raised my voice
at him... I didn’t have a reason to. He was always the good guy, the nice guy... the prince on the
white horse kind of guy. This was the first time I saw him getting uncontrollably angry and beat
someone like that, again and again, harder and harder. There’s no law in the jungle...
I don’t know what exactly hurt me the most – seeing him act like an animal, or the fact that I
realised how serious everything actually is? Even if the detective had no proof now, it was just a
matter of time until Carter went down... for murder, extortion, corruption, fraud... you name it.
And then it hit me – he could ruin his life, my life, and for what? Money and power.
“I want you to know that I’m so sorry about everything, baby... I love you, and I can’t stand the
fact that...”
“Please, get to the point.”
He was afraid, I could see it in his eyes. I was afraid too, but I didn’t realise the severity of the
problem.
“I killed someone.”
“You...”
“Killed someone. On June 7th... 1998, I killed my boss, Riccardo Medici, after he was medically
diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and ruined the business, and this is the reason why I
became Capo, or leader of the Medici Mafia, as he had no family left alive and the guys voted for
me to take his place. I premeditated it, along with the guys that stayed by my side. I guess it was
like a mutiny... But some of the guys found out and didn’t like the idea, so they left. And ratted me
out to that detective...”
“And he thought I knew what you did, or that he would get some information off my back.”
“But I got it all under control. They have no proof, no witnesses... He has nothing on me.”
“Do you hear yourself? Oh my God... you killed him, just like that! Why did it have to be you?!”
Silence.
“You purposely took that man’s life! And that day when we first met and he wanted to shoot
you?! You just played who kills who first!”
“I’m so sorry...”
“No, don’t apologise to me, I’m still well and breathing!”
“Please, don’t hate me... I can’t stand that.”
I didn’t realise that I was crying until my tears were flowing down my neck.
“How can I be okay with that when this kind of life terrifies me?”
“Don’t leave me...” He couldn’t even stand up anymore, and before I knew it, he was down on his
knees, sobbing. I got down on my knees as well, and I grabbed his face, putting my forehead on
his. He were both sobbing like babies.
“I need time to think about this, it’s just to much for me...”
“But you knew who I was, and what kind of life I was living. And you made me go straight, I
went legal and all...”
“I can understand that you wanted to protect me... But I’m afraid, all the time! How can I stop it?”
“Please, don’t leave me...” He sobbed as I got up.
“I need a moment to breathe. And you need to go home.”
“But...”
“Unfortunaely, I am not going to betray you like that, but I need to be alone right now.”
“And when will I see you again?” He got up too, wiping his tears.
“When I’m ready.”
And just like that, I got back to work, like nothing happened. The detective was still here, getting
his face cleaned up from all the blood. He didn’t even look my way again, and I was thankful for
that. Part of me wanted to scream at him, to drop the case and go on with his life. But I was so
wrong for even having that thought cross my mind... I was hurt. But why? It’s not like I didn’t
know what was going on with Carter, but it felt different to actually hear it, it was like reality
finally slapped me. I couldn’t label what Carter did as just “wrong”, it was so much more than
that. But their law is different than my law. He wanted to protect me by this hell of a life, but he
forgot that in order to do that, he had to protect himself too.
When I finished my shit, I headed straight home – and I felt as empty as ever. With no plan for
tommorrow, or the day after... I had no idea of what I was about to do. My feelings were mixed,
my heart was aching and my head felt like it was going to explode. I promised myself it would
only be a day or two before I would speak to Carter again. But my feelings dictated over me, and
before I knew it, two days turned into three days, then into a week, and almost a month. I couldn’t
do it, I was such a coward. And I knew he was desperately trying to reach me, but when I thought
I was ready, that day came back to haunt me, again and again.
I spent most of the days in bed. The days when I was actually working or going to school were
pretty hard. It felt wrong to go to the school Carter paid for, while I had a hard time facing him.
My love for him never died tho, I just didn’t know how to handle it now that everything was so
messed up. A part of me wanted to run, but I also wanted to stay. This is the problem these days –
we accept the love we think we deserve.
And right when I thought I will never see him again, there he was, waiting beside his car in front
of the diner. I stopped walking and I just looked at him – he looked like a ghost. He was dressed in
his usual black jeans and tight T-shirt. He crossed his arms around his chest, and he was looking
down at the ground, but I couldn’t see his face so well because of the sunglasses he was wearing.
“Carter...”
He seemed like he was lost in his thoughts.
“Grace.” He almost jumped when he saw me, and hugged me tight. I didn’t reject him, because I
nedded a hug as much as he did.
“What are you doing here?”
“It’s 2 p.m.”
My heart melted. Even when I wasn’t talking to him, he showed up, as he always did.
“But we didn’t talk in so long. I figured we were, well... done.”
“I was never done. I tried to give you space, but it was hard to be away from you for almost a
month.”
It was hard for me as well.
“So, I assume you want to talk.”
“Only if you do. If not, I can leave.”
“No, it’s fine. Let’s go for a ride. The mustang is right there.”
Without saying a word, he locked his car and followed me. While we were walking next to each
other, I could still feel our connection – we never lost that. But it also felt weird, like we barely
knew each other. Because of the circumstances of our last meeting, we were both hurt, but we had
many different reasons as to why we were suffering right now.
I started driving in an awkward silence, and I kept looking at him in the corner of my eye,
wondering what should I say.
“So, how are you?”
Dumb. So dumb.
“I’m good. And you?”
“Good.”
Liars. We were anything but good.
“So, what happened to the detective? Is he still around?”
“Yeah... he is. But he still has no proof, and at this point he’s just beating a dead horse.”
“And you?”
“What about me?”
“What happened to you in the last month? I didn’t exactly see you.”
“Honestly? I feel like crap. I know I hurt you, and I can’t forgive myself for that.”
“You didn’t hurt me. I mean, I was hurt at first. Now I’m just confused.”
“Let’s talk about it.”
I began by telling him how awful it was for him to decide a man’s fate. Then I told him about the
danger he’s putting himself into, and how he’s dragging everyone after him, including me. Of
course I would never be able to betray him and go to the police, but the fear lived in me, day and
night. I couldn’t bear seeing him in prison, facing a life sentence. While I was talking, he didn’t
even dare to interrupt me, even if he wanted to. He listened carefully to every word. When I was
done, the awkward silence came back. It took him a good minute to give me a response, but I was
willing to wait. The silence didn’t kill me anymore.
“And what can I do to make it right by you?”
Well, I didn’t expect that. I expected a theory about how I didn’t understand his reasons, and how
he had everything under control. His question caught me off guard.
“You can start by being honest. I don’t want to be emarassed a second time. If you did something,
you tell me. I prefer and ungly truth rather than a beautiful lie.”
“Of course.”
“And I want you to be a better person. For your sake as well, not especially for me. You can’t
decide when someone’s life is done, you’re no God.”
“... I can... I want to be a better person, truly.”
“And how will we cope with everything? It’s gonna be different, now that I don’t want you to
sugar coat anything.”
“I will do my best to be the man to be the man you deserve.”
“I might remind you everyday of your mistakes. Sometimes I might lose my temper, and I’ll have
trouble trusting you for a while. Are you up for that?”
“If I have to suffer to get you back, I’ll do it. No second thoughts.”
“It’s not a threat, to be clear. It’s a warning. Hell isn’t over yet.”
I took him back, without thinking twice about it. The second I laid my eyes on him, I knew I
couldn’t walk away again. My heart would have shattered into a million pieces, and the month I
spent without him felt like an eternity, and I couldn’t handle that. Love is the reason for our
greatest joy, but also for our greatest pain. Every person walking this earth is looking for love –
good love, bad love, we accept it, because it’s the one thing we desire the most. We fight for it our
entire life, and we accept it as our greatest achievement. But why?
Carter taught me how to love, but he never taught me how to stop.

December 25th, 1998.

We were hosting Christmas that year. Every single one of Carter’s friends and partners showed
up, and I made sure to invite my only friend – Samantha. We were having a good time, and for the
first time in what it felt like forever, I was able to smile at Carter again. We came a long way after
that conversation we had in the car, and finally felt good to be with him again.
“A toast!” Arthur, Carter’s best friend held up his glass of wine. I was sitting on Carter’s lap,
sipping champagne and smiling. “Here’s to the things that are yet to come, and to the memories
that we hold. I wish you more happiness than all my words can tell. God bless us all. Merry
Christmas!”
“Merry Christmas!” We all said in unison.
Before we could say anything else, the doorbell rang.
“I’ll get it.”
Carter looked at me as I was walking away from the living room. I had a big, stupid smile on my
face for some reason. Some would call it happiness, perhaps. I opened the door, and to my
surprise, there was a strange man sitting in the doorway.
“Can I help you?”
“I’m sorry to disturb you, ma’am. I was wondering if I could use the phone for a second. My car
broke down, and ...”
“Grace, get away from him.” I heard Carter’s voice behind me, and when I looked back, I saw him
with the rest of the guys, loading their guns. Before I could move, the stranger grabbed my hair
and pulled me outside. I saw everyone holding up their gun, including Carter. I was struggling to
get away from him, but he help a tight grip of my hair. I kept my eyes on Carter the entire time.
“Let her go and we’ll sort this out.” Arthur said.
“There’s no sorting! He has to pay!” The stranger took out his gun as well, sticking it to my head.
I started to cry hysterically.
“But she is innocent, Vince! We do not kill innocents!” Arthur continued.
He has to pay... This is what Carter was talking about when he confessed to me about Riccardo’s
murder. This man was most likely seeking out revenge.
“Carter...” I mumbled. I never lost eye contact.
Without saying a word, the man pushed me down, and I quickly dragged myself as far as I could
from him. I was on my knees, and Carter got on his knees too, hugging me tightly and asking me
over and over if I was okay. I felt his gun touch my back and I trembled at the feeling.
“I...” I was cut short by a loud bang, and then all I could hear was a big commotion. I couldn’t
understand a thing, but I could still see Carter’s face, and he looked really scared, almost
pannicking.
“Stay with me, you hear me?! Don’t you dare leave me now!”
“What’s going on?” I managed to say, while I was desperately trying to breathe.
I heard another bang. And another. They were loud, almost deafening.
“Don’t you dare die on me, God damn it! Call 911!” Carter shouted. I was laid on the floor, and
for some reason I lifted my hand – it was covered in blood. My blood.
“I love you so much, Carter.”

EPILOGUE
V FOR VENDETTA

I know what you’re thinking. At least Grace survived, or else she wouldn’t tell us this story. I
never made it to the hospital – I died in Carter’s arms. When the ambulance arrived, it was
hopeless. All that was left to do was to collect my body, and Vincent’s, as they shot him in the
head multiple times after he shot me first on my side, right between my ribs.
On the morning of December 26th, Carter drank himself uncontrolably. What do you do, after
all, when the only person who could ever get you, is gone? When you find that one person who
completes you, who makes you feel whole again, who is the very breath you breathe, it’s almost
unexplainable how empty you feel... it’s like a piece of you has been ripped out. This kind of thing
will change a man forever. At one point, he probably thought to himself “What have I done?”
At the funeral, my mother completely lost it, and told him something that was probably sticking
with him for the rest of his life: “You killed my daughter, you bastard. You killed her.”
Carter was never the same. He visited my grave everyday, placing a fresh bouquet of flowers. But
he couldn’t find the right words to say something. He stood there for hours, with his hands in his
coat’s pockets, looking at my name on the tombstone. He was crushed.
On New Year’s Eve, he went to Lily’s Heaven to drink away his sorrows. Little did he know, his
detective friend was about to pay him a visit.
“Hello, my friend. How are you?”
“Not tonight.” Carter growled, and he didn’t even look in his direction.
“Why, you’re not in the mood for some chit – chat?”
“Get out of here.”
“Or what?”
Carter slammed his drink on the bar, giving him a deathly stare. “I’m in mourning. Can you at
least respect that?”
“Oh, yeah... your dear friend that ratted you out killed Grace, right?”
He took out his gun, placing it right between his eyes. “Say her name again, I dare ya’.”
“Grace.” He smiled, with an evil grin.
He didn’t even think twice before he pulled the trigger, and killed him instantly. Everyone in the
bar stopped what they were doing, starring in shock at the dead body on the floor. Carter drank
the rest of his whiskey, and went outside. Arthur followed him, shouthing.
“What’s wrong with you?!”
Carter broke down. For the first time in a week, he allowed himself to cry in his best friend’s
arms.
“He said her name...”
It didn’t take him long to let the darkness take control over him. He didn’t know how to cope with
the overwhelming sadness. By march, he was still unconsolable.
Some witness in the bar had the courage to speak to the police about the detective’s death. Carter
was charged with the murder of Gabriel Hardy, and he spent the next twenty years in prison. He
got out six months early, on his 45th birthday. His mansion was still intact, with everything inside,
including my red Mustang, with all my things still inside. When he saw some polaroids of the two
of us, he had to sit down and let out a few tears. After all this time, he did’t forget about me. He
took a pictures into his hands and held it tightly to hist chest, close to the heart. Even in death, I
was still by his side every step of the way. True love never dies.
He never really stepped out of the business. He was a true gangster until the end. I guess some
things can never change.
But he never moved on. Carter loved me until his last breath. And strangely, he wore a necklace
since his first days in prison, with an engagement ring attached to it, and in twenty years, he never
took it down. Not even once. That ring was supposed to be his Christmas present for me. I guess
life has its own way to laugh at us. I would have loved to be his bride...
The goal isn’t to live forever – the goal is to create something that will last a lifetime. Love has
some funny ways to do that.