Tập Đọc số 58 | Married to the job: how a long-hours working culture keeps people single and lonely Page 1

Married to the job: how

a long-hours working
culture keeps people
single and lonely
The worrying consequence of committing only to your work.

The irregularity of modern work has made relationships even harder to sustain. Many people have recognised
that they have devoted themselves to their job and neglected most other things that give their life meaning.
But, as Sarah Jaffe reveals, this affects certain types of people more than others.

‘The pandemic has made many people face up to loneliness in a way they would not have done in the pre-lockdown world.’
Composite: Getty/Guardian Design/Getty
 Tập Đọc số 58 | Married to the job: how a long-hours working culture keeps people single and lonely Page 2

← You can scan the QR code on the left to hear this article in
audio form, read to you by the voice of Curio.

Laura Hancock started practising yoga when she worked for a charity. It was a job that involved long hours and
caused a lot of anxiety. Yoga was her counterbalance1. “It saved my life, in a way,” she says.

Yoga brought her a sense of peace and started her journey of self-inquiry2; eventually, she decided to bring those
benefits to others by becoming a yoga teacher. She studied for more than eight years before qualifying3. That
was about 10 years ago; since then, she has been teaching in Oxford, her home town.

At first, the work felt like a privilege4, even though she was working a lot and not earning much. “There was a
sense that, if you gave it your all and you did it with integrity5 and love and all those things, then it would
eventually work out for you.”

But recently she had a moment of realisation6. “I can’t afford my rent, I have no savings, I have no partner7, I
have no family. I’m 38 and most of my friends have families; they’re buying houses,” she says. “There is a lot of
grief around that. I feel like I’ve just landed on Earth, like a hard crash on to the ground, and am looking around
and feeling quite lonely.”

1
counterbalance - (noun) - a thing that has an equal but opposite effect to something else and can be used to limit the bad effects of something - the accused’s right to silence was
a vital counterbalance to the powers of the police - một thứ có tác dụng tương đương nhưng ngược lại với thứ khác và có thể được sử dụng để hạn chế tác động xấu của thứ gì đó.
2
self-inquiry - (noun) - the exploration of our inner reality (consciousness, soul, being and other experiential phenomena) in the present moment; like an explorer journeying deep
into the uncharted territory our psyche and soul, we often have little idea what we are going to encounter or discover - in “self inquiry meditation” we learn to understand ourselves
and others - sự khám phá thực tại bên trong của chúng ta (ý thức, linh hồn, bản thể và các hiện tượng kinh nghiệm khác) trong thời điểm hiện tại
3
qualify - (verb) - to reach the standard of ability or knowledge needed to do a particular job, for example by completing a course of study or passing exams - he qualified as a doctor
last year - có đủ tư cách, có đủ khả năng, có đủ tiêu chuẩn
4
privilege - (noun) - a special right or advantage that a particular person or group of people has - education should be a universal right and not a privilege - đặc quyền, đặc ân
5
integrity - (noun) - the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles - no one doubted that the president was a man of the highest integrity - tính chính trực, trung
thực, thành thực
6
realization - (noun) - the process of becoming aware of something - synonym awareness - as realization dawned, he went pale - sự thấy rõ, sự hiểu rõ, sự nhận thức rõ
7
partner - (noun) - the person that you are married to or having a sexual relationship with - she still hasn’t found her perfect partner - vợ; chồng
 Tập Đọc số 58 | Married to the job: how a long-hours working culture keeps people single and lonely Page 3

In many sectors, offices have been designed to look, feel and act like a
home, to keep employees there for longer
Hancock is one of the many people in recent years to recognise that they have devoted8 themselves to their
work and neglected9 everything else that might give their life meaning. For workers across many sectors10, long,
irregular hours, emotional demands and sometimes low rates of pay mean it is increasingly hard to have a life
outside of work – and particularly hard to sustain11 relationships.

Long before COVID locked us all in our homes, alone or otherwise, the evidence was pointing out repeatedly
that loneliness and singledom12 are endemic13 in this phase14 of capitalism15. Fewer people are marrying and
those who are are doing so later; we are having less sex. A 2018 study found that 2.4 million adults in Britain
“suffer from chronic16 loneliness”. Another projection17 found that nearly one in seven people in the UK could
be living alone by 2039 and that those living alone are less financially secure18.

For Hancock, turning her yoga practice into her career meant giving up much of her social life19. She was
“knackered20” at the end of a long day of practice and teaching – and the expectation that she would continue
her education through pricey21 retreats22 meant, at times, that she was spending more than she was making. It

8
devoted - (adjective) - having great love for somebody/something and supporting them in everything; extremely loving and loyal - they are devoted to their children - hết lòng, tận
tâm, tận tình, tận tuỵ; sốt sắng, nhiệt tình
9
neglect - (verb) - (formal) to fail or forget to do something that you ought to do - synonym omit - you neglected to mention the name of your previous employer - sao lãng, không chú
ý, bỏ bê, bỏ mặc
10
sector - (noun) - a part of an area of activity, especially of a country’s economy - we have seen rapid growth in the services sector - khu vực kinh tế
11
sustain - (verb) - to provide enough of what somebody/something needs in order to live or exist - when she lost her job they could no longer sustain their expensive lifestyle - kéo dài,
giữ vững được
12
singledom - (noun) - the state of being unmarried or not involved in a long-term relationship - but hit your thirties and singledom can start to make you feel inadequate - tình trạng
độc thân, không có vợ/chồng hoặc ở trong một mối quan hệ lâu dài nào
13
endemic - (adjective) - regularly found in a particular place or among a particular group of people and difficult to get rid of - malaria is endemic in many hot countries - (sinh vật
học) đặc hữu (loài sinh vật... )
14
phase - (noun) - a stage in a process of change or development - this technology is still in an early phase of development - giai thoại, thời kỳ (phát triển, biến đổi)
15
capitalism - (noun) - an economic system in which a country’s businesses and industry are controlled and run for profit by private owners rather than by the government - under
capitalism, people are motivated by the idea of personal profit and success - chủ nghĩa tư bản
16
chronic - (adjective) - (especially of a disease or something bad) continuing for a long time - there is a chronic shortage of teachers - (y học) mạn, mãn tính, kinh niên
17
projection - (noun) - an estimate or a statement of what figures, amounts, or events will be in the future, or what they were in the past, based on what is happening now - sales
have exceeded our projections - (kinh tế học) sự dự phóng, sự dự đoán
18
financially secure - (adjective) - having enough money to live on and not having to worry about money - being financially secure enough to enjoy your life in retirement is the last
thing on the minds of those under 30 - có đủ tiền để sống và không phải lo lắng về tiền bạc
19
social life - (noun) - the activities you do with other people, for pleasure, when you are not working - he had no friends, no social life, and a job he hated - đời sống xã hội
20
knackered - (adjective) - (British English, slang) extremely tired - synonym exhausted, worn out - I was knackered after the game - mệt lử, kiệt sức
21
pricey - (adjective) - (informal) expensive - condos downtown are now too pricey for local people to afford - đắt tiền
22
retreat / retreat resort - (noun) - a period of time used to pray and study quietly, or to think carefully, away from normal activities and duties - we went on a retreat at/to a
monastery in Wales - mô hình khu nghỉ dưỡng hướng mục tiêu đem đến cho khách hàng một không gian riêng để “rút lui” khỏi những căng thẳng, áp lực cuộc sống hằng ngày
 Tập Đọc số 58 | Married to the job: how a long-hours working culture keeps people single and lonely Page 4

was at the end of a four-hour workshop in a local church in 2018 that the penny dropped23. A student came up
to her and said: “You are not well. We need to go to the doctor.”

‘The pandemic has made many people face up to loneliness in a way they would not have done in the pre-lockdown world.’
Composite: Getty/Guardian Design/Getty

Her GP24 found infections25 in her ear and her chest. She spent seven weeks recovering in bed, which gave her a
lot of time, alone at home, to reconsider her career and face the reality of exactly how vulnerable26 she was.

Lauren Smith*, 34, a teacher in the west of England, was given a warning by a colleague before she applied for
her postgraduate27 certificate28 in education (PGCE). “It’s going to be the most intense29 year of your life,” they
said. At the time, she thought she was ready for it, but it took its toll30 on her relationship. “I remember coming
home and just … not even being able to talk to him.”

23
the penny drops - (idiom) - if the penny drops, you suddenly understand something - she looked confused for a moment, then suddenly the penny dropped - khi bạn đột nhiên hiểu
điều gì đó; khi bạn bất chợt nhận ra
24
general practitioner - (noun) - (abbreviation GP) - (also family doctor, family practitioner) - a doctor who is trained in general medicine and who treats patients in a local
community rather than at a hospital - in brief, the general practitioner writes a prescription which the patient takes to the pharmacist - bác sĩ đa khoa
25
infection - (noun) - an illness that is caused by bacteria or a virus and that affects one part of the body - sneezing is the most common way of spreading an infection - sự nhiễm
trùng
26
vulnerable - (adjective) - weak and easily hurt physically or emotionally - old people are particularly vulnerable to the flu - có thể bị tổn thương; có thể bị tấn công, công kích được;
có chỗ yếu, có nhược điểm
27
postgraduate - (noun) - a person who already holds a first degree and who is doing advanced study or research; a graduate student - a postgraduate course - sau khi tốt nghiệp đại
học, sau đại học
28
certificate - (noun) - an official document proving that you have completed a course of study or passed an exam; a qualification obtained after a course of study or an exam - a
certificate of completion will be issued to all who complete the course - chứng chỉ, văn bằng
29
intense - (adjective) - serious and often involving a lot of action in a short period of time - it was a period of intense activity - mạnh, có cường độ lớn
30
it took its toll - (idiom) - to have a bad effect on somebody/something; to cause a lot of damage, deaths, pain, etc. - the recession is taking its toll on small businesses - có ảnh
hưởng xấu đến ai đó / cái gì đó; gây ra nhiều thiệt hại, chết chóc, đau thương, v.v.
 Tập Đọc số 58 | Married to the job: how a long-hours working culture keeps people single and lonely Page 5

Things did not improve when she started working as a teacher. “There’s this culture in education where it’s
almost competitive31 about how much you work,” she says. The social relationships32 at school become almost a
substitute33 for a personal life34; she briefly dated another teacher. However, apart from “the odd35 fling36 here or
there”, she says, “in terms of actually dating, I find that my enthusiasm or my energy for it …” She trails off37.

The strain38 on their personal lives has made Smith and Hancock look much more closely at the sustainability39
of their working lives. Hancock is one of the founding members40 of the new yoga teachers’ union41, a branch of
the Independent Workers of Great Britain (IWGB), the union representing gig economy42 workers and those
in traditionally non-unionised workplaces43. Smith is active in the National Education Union, but is considering
a career change. “The demands44 on teachers have just increased so much and, with the funding cuts, I’m now
doing the job of three people,” she says.

“Everything else you love about your job has been pushed to the wayside45 and it’s all about those exam results,”
says Smith. The number one thing she would like “would be more planning time in my job. Maybe I could have
one less class, which is 30 kids’ worth of data that I don’t have to do and it means I can put my mental energy
into the students themselves and have the time and the headspace46 to do other things.”

31
competitive - (adjective) - involving competition - a highly competitive industry - cạnh tranh, đua tranh
32
social relationship - (noun) - an interaction between individuals that affects every participant, including the interactions which bind people together into sports teams and groups -
we are social beings, so it’s in our nature to form social relationships - mối quan hệ xã hội
33
substitute - (noun) - a person or thing that you use or have instead of the one you normally use or have - the course teaches you the theory but there’s no substitute for practical
experience - người thay thế, vật thay thế
34
personal life - (noun) - the part of an individual’s life regarded as private and separate from his or her persona; private life - his unconventional approach to fighting crime makes
him a great cop, but takes a toll on his personal life - cuộc sống cá nhân, đời tư
35
odd - (adjective) - happening or appearing occasionally; not happening often - synonym occasional - he makes the odd mistake—nothing too serious - thỉnh thoảng
36
fling - (noun) - a short sexual relationship with somebody - we had a brief fling, but it’s over now - một mối quan hệ tình dục ngắn với ai đó
37
trail off - (verb) - when a person’s voice or a similar sound trails away/off, it becomes quieter and less confident and then stops completely - his voice trailed off as he saw the look
on her face - (giọng nói) trở nên nhỏ dần
38
strain - (noun) - mental pressure or worry felt by somebody because they have too much to do or manage; something that causes this pressure - you will learn to cope with the
stresses and strains of public life - sự căng thẳng, áp lực
39
sustainability - (noun) - the ability to continue or be continued for a long time - the strength and sustainability of the economic recovery is still in doubt - sự bền vững
40
founding member - (noun) - an original member of a group (such as a club or corporation) - he was a founding member of the antislavery society - thành viên sáng lập
41
union - (noun) - (British English also trade union, trades union) (North American english also labor union) - an organization of workers, usually in a particular industry, that exists to
protect their interests, improve conditions of work, etc. - teachers’ unions in England are demanding the same improvements as in Scotland - công đoàn
42
gig economy - (noun) - a way ò working that í based on people having temporary jobs ỏ doing separate piếc ò work, each paid separately, rather than working for an employer -
workers eke out a living in the gig economy, doing odd jobs whenever they can - nền kinh tế mà trong đó mọi người thường làm việc bán thời gian hoặc tạm thời, còn các công ty có xu
hướng thuê những người làm việc độc lập và tự do thay vì nhân viên toàn thời gian.
43
non-unionised workplace - (noun) - in a non-union work environment, the employer holds the majority of power; in other words, the employer determines work expectations, sets
wages, determines work schedules, and maintains independence over discipline, promotions, and other aspects of work culture - employees who are in a non-unionised workplace
have the right to come together to try to form a union and their employers cannot prevent them - nơi làm việc không có công đoàn
44
demands - (noun) - [plural] things that somebody/something makes you do, especially things that are difficult, make you tired, worried, etc. - juggling the demands of work and
family is never easy - (số nhiều) những sự đòi hỏi cấp bách (đối với thì giờ, túi tiền... của ai)
45
pushed to the wayside - (idiom) - to no longer be considered as important, and therefore not worth doing - these days, this tradition has were pushed to the wayside - không còn
được coi là quan trọng và do đó không đáng làm
46
headspace - (noun) - (informal) time to think clearly without any pressure - I could do with a bit of headspace just to think about what I'm doing - thời gian để suy nghĩ rõ ràng mà
không có bất kỳ áp lực nào
 Tập Đọc số 58 | Married to the job: how a long-hours working culture keeps people single and lonely Page 6

The well-off are more likely to marry and have more stable families
It is not that she is hanging everything on the hope of47 a romantic relationship – and she does not want
children – but nevertheless Smith longs for time and energy to devote48 to the people she cares about, rather
than her job. “In the nine years that I have been a teacher, it has got harder and harder. If things don’t change, I
can’t see myself staying in this job beyond two years from now.”

If work is getting in the way of our relationships, it is not an equally distributed49 problem. The decline in
marriage rates “is a class-based50 affair51”, say the law professors Naomi Cahn and June Carbone, the authors of
the book Marriage Markets: How Inequality Is Remaking the American Family. The well-off52 are more likely
to marry and have more stable families – and the advantages of this family structure are conferred53 on their
offspring54. For those in a more precarious55 financial situation, it can often be easier to stay single.

Economic stability provides “a better foundation for loyalty, one based on relationship satisfaction and
happiness rather than economic dependency or need”, found the academics56 Pilar Gonalons-Pons and David
Calnitsky when they studied the impact of an experiment with universal basic income57 in Canada. If we were
not so worried about paying the bills, perhaps we would have the time and mental space for better
relationships.

In an increasingly atomised world58 , being in a couple is how most people have access to care and love. The
status of being partnerless, or, as the writer Caleb Luna has put it, being “singled” – an active process that means
single people are denied affection59 or care because they are reserved for people in couples – can leave many

47
hang your hat on something - (phrase) - ​(North American English, informal) to depend or rely on something - The research is interesting, but you cannot hang your hat on it - phụ
thuộc hoặc dựa vào một cái gì đó
48
devote - (verb) - to give an amount of time, attention, etc. to something - I could only devote two hours a day to the work - hiến dâng, dành hết cho
49
equally distributed - (adjective) - to be spread equally - the player's 200 pounds are equally distributed over his six-foot frame - được trải đều
50
class-based - (adjective) - to be based on the class system, in which each class is a group of people in a society that are thought of as being at the same social or economic level,
such as the working/middle/upper class - his attack on racial and class-based stratification in the military exposes the hidden underside of a significant concurrent political reality -
dựa trên hệ thống giai cấp
51
affair - (noun) - a situation or subject that is being dealt with or considered - she organizes her financial affairs very efficiently - chuyện, vấn đề
52
the well-off - (noun) - the rich people - the shortages affect both the poor and the well-off, in surprising ways - những người giàu
53
confer - (verb) - to give an official title, honour, or advantage to someone - an honorary doctorate was conferred on him by Columbia University - cấp, phong
54
offspring - (noun) - a child of a particular person or couple - the problems parents have with their teenage offspring - con, con cái, con cháu
55
precarious - (adjective) - ​(of a situation) not safe or certain; dangerous - he earned a precarious living as an artist - không chắc chắn, bấp bênh, mong manh
56
academic - (noun) - a person who teaches and/or does research at a university or college - there is much debate among academics about this issue - học giả
57
universal basic income - (noun) - a government program in which every adult citizen receives a set amount of money on a regular basis - the pandemic took the concept of
universal basic income out of the hands of Silicon Valley tech bros - thu nhập cơ bản chung
58
atomised - (adjective) - consisting of separate parts that do not have much contact with each other - in our increasingly atomized society, more and more people live alone - gồm
các bộ phận riêng biệt không tiếp xúc nhiều với nhau
59
affection - (noun) - the feeling of liking or loving somebody/something very much and caring about them - she was held in deep affection by all her students - tình cảm, cảm xúc
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people without life-sustaining60 care. As Luna writes, the culture of “self-love”, in which we are encouraged to
love, support and sustain61 ourselves, leaves out those for whom this is not a choice.

Care is overwhelmingly still provided by partners in a romantic couple or other family members: in the UK, 6.5
million people – one in eight adults – provide care for a sick or disabled family member or partner. The charity
Carers UK estimates that, during the pandemic in 2020, 13.6 million people were carers. What happens to
those, however, without partners or family members to provide care? It becomes someone’s job – a job that can
end up placing enormous stress on the personal life of whoever is doing it.

Composite: Getty/GNM design/Getty

60
life-sustaining - (adjective) - indispensable to the continuance of life - after stoking the fire, he circles the room again, searching for cracks and crevices where wind might be
seeping in, and the life-sustaining warmth of the fire is escaping - không thể thiếu để tiếp tục cuộc sống
61
sustain - (verb) - to provide enough of what somebody/something needs in order to live or exist - I only had a little chocolate to sustain me on my walk - cung cấp đủ những gì ai đó
/ cái gì đó cần để sống hoặc tồn tại
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Care is often outsourced62 to paid workers – many of whom are immigrants63 – some of whom have left their
own partners and children behind in order to go elsewhere for work, says Prof Laura Briggs, of the women,
gender and sexuality studies department at the University of Massachusetts Amherst.

The harsh crackdowns64 on migration65 to the US and the UK have left these workers in a uniquely vulnerable
position. They would “work for almost any wage, no matter how low, to support family and household
members back home, without the entanglements66 that come with dependents67 who are physically present,
such as being late to work after a child’s doctor’s appointment, say, or the sick days that children or elders have
so many of,” wrote Briggs in her 2017 book How All Politics Became Reproductive Politics. In other words,
with their family far away, the worker is free to devote all their time – and their care – to their employer.

It is not just care work that is blending the boundaries between people’s work lives and personal lives. In many
sectors, offices have been designed to look, feel and act like a home, to keep employees there for longer – with
free food available 24/7, areas to rest and play with Lego, office pets, informal dress codes and even showers to
create a feeling that work is a “family”.

When I met Karn Bianco while I was researching my book on how work is increasingly taking over our lives,
he was a freelance68 computer game programmer who had tired of the long hours. “Your life became just work,”
he said. “You would go in at 9am and would work through until 10 or 11 at night sometimes – you could get an
evening meal there.” It was fine for a while, he said. “When I was an intern69, I was single, I knew I was only in
that desk for a year. I had no responsibilities, no dependents.”

But as Bianco, who is now 31 and living in Glasgow, got older and entered into a relationship, it became
impossible to deal with. “I even tried to start coups70 of sorts,” he said, trying to convince his colleagues to walk

62
outsource - (verb) - to arrange for somebody outside a company to do work or provide goods for that company - the candidate talks about working-class isues, particularly about
jobs being outsourced overseas - thuê ngoài
63
immigrant - (noun) - a person who has come to live permanently in a different country from the one they were born in - immigrants and their descendants have played a vital role in
building this nation - dân nhập cư
64
crackdown - (verb) - severe action taken to limit the activities of criminals or of people opposed to the government or somebody in authority - they’re having a crackdown on
private phone calls from the office - sự trừng trị thẳng tay, biện pháp thẳng tay hơn
65
migration - (noun) - the movement of people to a new country or area in order to find work or better living conditions - migration from rural to urban areas - sự di trú
66
entanglement - (noun) - a situation or relationship that you are involved in and that is difficult to escape from - the book describes the complex emotional and sexual
entanglements between the members of the group - sự làm vướng mắc, sự làm mắc bẫy, sự làm vướng vào, sự vướng mắc, sự vướng víu; điều làm vướng mắc, điều làm vướng víu
67
dependent - (adjective) - someone who depends on you for financial support, such as a child or family member who does not work - my pension will provide for my dependants -
người sống dựa (vào người khác); người nhà (sống dựa vào lao động chính)
68
freelance - (adjective) - doing particular pieces of work for different organizations, rather than working all the time for a single organization - most of the journalists i know are/work
freelance - làm nghề tự do, độc lập, kiếm sống bằng cách bán tác phẩm của mình cho nhiều chủ
69
intern - (noun) - a student or new graduate who is getting practical experience in a job, sometimes without pay, for example during the summer holiday - a summer intern at a law
firm - thực tập sinh
70
coup - (noun) - a sudden illegal, often violent, taking of government power, especially by part of an army - he seized power in a military coup in 2008 - một cuộc đảo chính, một
cuộc lật đổ
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out en masse71 at 5pm on the dot. But it did not take, so he was stuck trying to improve his own conditions,
going home at 5pm on his own – something that was possible, he noted, only because he had worked his way
up the ladder72. Eventually, Bianco went freelance, then left the industry entirely.

Dating apps just feel like another admin task: ‘Ugh, I’ve got to reply to
another email now.'
Bianco is one of the founding members of the gaming industry branch of the IWGB, which is fighting the long
hours in the sector. Traditionally, there was a crunch time73, when, just before a product launch, programmers
were expected to put in 100-hour weeks with no extra pay. Now, as games are connected to the internet and
consumers expect constant updates, crunch time is pretty much all the time. “They try to instil that feeling of:
‘You have to do this for the family [company],’ rather than: ‘This is a transaction74. You pay me and I work,’”
said Austin Kelmore, 40, when I met him along with Bianco.

But what happens when the “family” is gone and the workers are left on their own? Layoffs75 are common in the
games industry – so common that one observer76 created a website to track them. (In 2020, there were an
estimated 2,090 job losses as part of mass redundancies77 in the gaming industry.) When Kelmore was laid off,
his partner’s income was a lifesaver78, but it made him think: ‘Do I want to do games any more?’ He is still in the
industry and active in the union working against what he says is a systematic79 issue with work-life balance80.
“Without unions, we had no idea what our rights were,” Bianco says. “We were working illegal hours and didn’t
even know it. Most of my time at home during some of those weeks was just sleeping.”

71
en masse - (adverb) - all together, and usually in large numbers - the young folk were emigrating en mase - tất cả cùng nhau và thường với số lượng lớn
72
corporate ladder - (phrase) -a series of increasingly important jobs that someone can do within a company - going to business school is no longer considered an essential rung on
the way to the top of the corporate ladder - nấc thang trong doanh nghiệp là một cách nhìn về hệ thống thứ bậc của các vị trí công việc trong công ty, coi sự thăng tiến nghề nghiệp
giống như leo lên nấc thang cao hơn
73
crunch time - (noun) - a point at which something difficult must be done - he plays well without pressure, but can he produce at crunch time? - một thời điểm mà một cái gì đó khó
khăn phải được thực hiện
74
transaction - (noun) - a piece of business that is done between people, especially an act of buying or selling - a business transaction - sự giao dịch
75
layoff - (noun) - an occasion when a company stops employing someone, sometimes temporarily, because the company does not have enough money or enough work - the recent
economic crisis has led to masive layoffs - sự sa thải nhân công do thiếu việc làm hay khó khăn về tài chính (không phải do trình độ hay bị kỷ luật)
76
observer - (noun) - a person who watches somebody/something - to the casual observer (= somebody who does not pay much attention), the system appears confusing - người
theo dõi, người quan sát
77
redundancy - (noun) - the situation when somebody has to leave their job because there is no more work available for them - thousands of factory workers are facing redundancy -
Sự giảm biên chế
78
lifesaver - (noun) - a thing that helps somebody in a difficult situation; something that saves somebody’s life - the new drug is a potential lifesaver the new drug is a potential
lifesaver - một thứ giúp đỡ ai đó trong hoàn cảnh khó khăn; thứ gì đó cứu sống ai đó
79
systematic - (adjective) - complete and thorough, done regularly and repeatedly - a systematic attempt to destroy the organization - có hệ thống
80
work-life balance - (noun) - the number of hours per week you spend working, compared with the number of hours you spend with your family, relaxing, etc. - part-time working is
often the best way to improve your work-life balance - lượng thời gian bạn dành để làm công việc của mình so với lượng thời gian bạn làm những việc bạn yêu thích
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The pandemic81, of course, has made many people face up to loneliness in a way they would not have done in
the pre-lockdown world. One-third of women and one-fifth of men report feeling lonely or isolated82 in this
period.

Ruth Jones trained as a librarian in Canada and moved around from job to job – nearly once a year for 14 years.
“Finding work, and especially having to take whatever work I can get, has definitely been a factor in why I
haven’t dated much at 31,” she says via email. “How do you date someone wholeheartedly83 knowing that, at
some point in a year, max, you’re going to have to make a decision about someone taking or not taking a job,
being split up, doing long distance?”

A chronic illness means that, recently, she has been out of the workplace, stuck at home. She has realised the
way in which our obsession with work is entangled with our romantic relationships. On dating apps and sites,
“most people identify strongly with their jobs”, she says. Where does this leave someone who is unable to work
long-term? “At a minimum, I am supposed to feel guilty for being unproductive, useless – and live a frugal84,
monk-like life,” she says.

She does not mind that she might not be able physically to do the same things as a potential partner, but she
often finds that they do, especially as the apps are designed to pass judgment on people immediately. All of this
means it feels impossible to find someone with whom to connect. “I feel like I’m not looking for a unicorn85, I’m
looking for a gold Pegasus86.”

The apps often feel like another job to take on, says Smith. She will click on the dating site, flick through some
profiles, maybe match with someone and exchange a couple of messages. Then a week of teaching goes by in a
blur and, she says: “You have a look and you’ve missed the boat87.” She often ends up deciding to spend her spare
time with friends, or catching up on rest. “It just feels like another admin task: ‘Ugh, I’ve got to reply to another
email now. I’ve got to put some data into a form.’” And, of course, those dating apps are big business, profiting

81
pandemic - (noun) - a disease that spreads over a whole country or the whole world - the coronavirus pandemic - đại dịch
82
isolated - (adjective) - without much contact with other people or other countries - I felt very isolated in my new job - cô lập, cách biệt
83
wholeheartedly - (adverb) - completely, in an enthusiastic way - to agree wholeheartedly - toàn tâm toàn ý; một lòng một dạ; hết lòng
84
frugal - (adjective) - using only as much money or food as is necessary - the monks lead a frugal existence in their isolated monastery - căn cơ; tiết kiệm, thanh đạm
85
unicorn - (noun) - an imaginary white creature like a horse with a single horn growing from the front of its head - the unicorn, the heraldic animal with the body and head of a horse
and the legs and feet of a deer, is strong as a horse and as swift as a deer - (thần thoại,thần học) con kỳ lân
86
Pegasus - (noun) - a mythical winged divine horse, and one of the most recognized creatures in Greek mythology - it was nearly identical to Pegasus, save that it was wingless and
had a short argent horn pointing up from its forehead - Pegasus là một thiên mã, con ngựa thần có cánh như chim đại bàng, lông trắng muốt, là con của thần biển Poseidon và Medusa..
Sau khi giúp đỡ người anh hùng Bellerophon đánh bại quái vật Chimera, thần Zeus biến Pegasus thành một chòm sao trên bầu trời. Nó là một trong những sinh vật thần thoại nổi tiếng ở
phương Tây và xuất hiện nhiều trong các bức tranh, thơ ca, sách báo và phim ảnh.
87
miss the boat - (phrase) - to lose an opportunity to do something by being slow to act - there were tickets available last week, but he missed the boat by waiting till today to try to
buy some - vì chậm chân mà bỏ lỡ mất một cơ hội
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from workers being kept single by their jobs. A couple of months ago, the founder of the dating app Bumble
was lauded88 as the “world’s youngest self-made89 woman billionaire”.

Hancock, who works in a deeply solitary90 industry, has found the process of organising with her union
enormously helpful. “I remember being in this room and hearing so many different people from different
industries talking and realising that we shared so much,” she says. “I wasn’t alone.”

It is through the union that she hopes to be able to change not just her own situation, but also the industry.
After all, as the games workers learned, going home early by yourself – or leaving the industry – might be a
temporary solution, but the real challenge is ending the culture of overwork. Perhaps it is time to revisit the
original wants of International Workers’ Day, which called for the day to be split into eight-hour chunks: for
work, for rest and time for “what we will”, whether that is romance, family, friends or otherwise. ■

2,549 words

Sarah Jaffe is the author of “Work Won’t Love YouBack”

Thu 15 Apr 2021, from : https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/apr/15/married-job-long-hours-working-culture-single-lonely-love

88
laud - (verb) - to praise somebody/something - he was lauded for his courage - tán dương, ca ngợi, khen ngợi
89
self-made - (adjective) - having become rich and successful through your own hard work rather than having had money given to you - he was proud of the fact that he was a
self-made man - tự lập, tự tay làm nên
90
solitary - (adjective) - done alone; without other people - he led a solitary life - một mình, cô độc, cô đơn; hiu quạnh, vắng vẻ
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