S. S.

Agrawal Institute of Engineering & Technology, Navsari

Effective Technical Communication (3130004)
BE Semester -III

Learning to Say NO

Saying no isn’t always easy—but it’s often necessary.

Every time you say yes to something that is unimportant, you say no to
something that is important. That’s true both at work and in personal
relationships. Say no to the friend who wants to meet over coffee to gossip. Say
no to the co-worker who wants to spread his negativity and cynicism. Say no to
the relative who laughs at your dreams and makes you doubt yourself. Say no to
the social obligations that drain time from your life’s work.

You can’t do all things for everyone. Know your priorities. Know your goals.
Know what needs to get done over the coming weeks, months and years for you
to feel that you played your best game as a human being. And then say no to
everything else. It may happen for sure that some people around you will not be
happy. But would you rather live your life according to the approval of the
others or align with your truth and your dreams?

People are habituated to say yes even though they want to say no. Sometimes a
person even finds himself thinking no, no, no and then says ‘yes. Why is it so
difficult to say the word ‘no’? It is just a word.

Steps for Learning to Say “NO”:

• Remember- Saying NO Doesn’t Always Mean you are a Bad Person:

DR. NISHA S. PAREKH 1

Saying NO doesn’t mean that you are being rude, selfish, or unkind. As
children, we learned that saying no was impolite or inappropriate. If you say
NO to your mom, dad, teacher, uncle, grandparents and so on, you were most
certainly considered to be rude, and you would have probably been told off for
it. saying no was off limits, and yes was polite and likable thing to say.

Now that we are all adults, we are more mature and capable of making our own
choice, as well as knowing the difference between right and wrong. But we
worry a lot saying no for anything asked to us as we hold our childhood belief
that saying no is always dislikeable thing.

• Know your Value:

The second thing you should keep in my is “know your value”. Choice your
own opinion about yourself over others. If you live your life depending on
other’s approval, you will never feel free and truly happy.

When your opinion about your self is not so considerable, remember that: your
problems do not define you. Its ok to make mistakes- nobody is perfect, and
everybody does things that they regret; this is what makes us human. What
makes a person great is not their looks or achievements, but their willingness to
respect others, be humble, and grow as a person.

• Is It Really Worth?

Third thing you should do is deciding if yes is really worth it? After committing
to something, doubt eventually sets in and you may begin to think of ways you
can get out of it. And if you don’t have any good excuse, you then have to
decide if you are going to tell the truth or come up with a lie. Think about the
anguish, stress, and resentment that saying yes has caused you. Wouldn’t it be
so much easier and straightforward to just say no in the first place?

DR. NISHA S. PAREKH 2

Dos

• Do say no clearly. Avoid being so polite that the reader may not be sure
you denied the request.
• Do explain why you must say no.
• Do state what you can do for the reader, even though it is not what the
reader requested.
• Do use positive language wherever possible. For example, open with
"Thank you for asking for a free copy" or "I appreciate your requesting
permission."
• Do treat the reader respectfully. Imagine you are writing to one of your
favourite people.

Don’t

• Don’t write if you are worried that your message might be offensive or
confusing. Instead, talk in person or on the telephone for two-way
communication. Then write a message confirming what was discussed.
• If you are responding as a representative of your company, don’t criticize
the policy that requires you to say no. Otherwise, you undermine the
company and may seem untrustworthy.
• Don’t use negative expressions that may offend or embarrass the reader,
such as "It is unreasonable," "I never agreed," "You are mistaken," or
"You should."

DR. NISHA S. PAREKH 3