WHAT MAKES

LECTURE#3: INTERPERSONAL FRIENDSHIP WORKS?

RELATIONSHIP & COMMUNICATION
PSY101-CORE COMPETENCE,
PREPARED BY TSUI, CHAK-SUM

1. How do you meet new people?

2. When do you get close with them?
3. How it drifts apart?
1 2

Levinger’s Theory of Stages of Development in a Attraction

Relationship: ABCDE Model

Ending

Deterioration

Continuation

Building

Attraction

3 4
 Physical Attractiveness?

Yes for Sexual & Romantic Attraction

(Li & Kentrick, 2006, Lippa, 2012)
Similarity
5 6

PROXIMITY

Similarity

7 8
 Reciprocity
WHAT MAKES A GOOD FRIEND?
Social
Intelligence
Loyalty 88% Humor 72% Conscience
58%
49%

Willingness to
Conversational Independence Honesty &
set aside time
Skills 59% 61% Frankness 73%
for me 62%

Ability to keep
Supportiveness Warmth &
confidence
75% Affections 73%
89% Parlee (1979) in the US

9 10

Can you
come-up with
the ideas
about ideal Machismo
men and tradition
women, that Hispanic cultures,
you will like or defines
like to date? masculinity from
manliness
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 IS MAN OR WOMAN MORE AGGRESSIVE?

Relational Aggression in Women

Godleski & Ostrov (2010), Shoulberg, Sijtsema, & Murray-Close (2011)

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Boys are always good at math?

NATURE:
Oh…really?
HORMONES, BIOLOGY &
PREDISPOSITION

Girls have LESS confidence

(Else-Quest Hyde & Linn, 2010; Szymenowicza & Furnham, 2011)

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 Nurture: Social construction
in gender identity…and it varies
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 WHAT IS LOVE?

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Game-Playing

Possessive
& Excited Logical CLYDE &
Sternberg’s HENDRICK
Triangular (1986)
Model (1988) LOVE ATTITUDE
SCALE
Selfless
Passionate Friendship

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 We have the
freedom to choose
our partners, though,
do we have better
marriage or long-
term relationship
Can you give me some movie/drama/anime/fictions or nowadays?
even some pop song lyrics examples that match each
type of love?

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Marriage And Divorce Trends In Hong Kong, 1991 To 2016

¡ “The number of divorce decrees granted in 2016 was about

triple that in 1991, rising from 6 295 to 17 196”
¡ Crude Divorce Rate: 1.11 in 1991 to 2.34 in 2016
Ø the number of divorce decrees granted in a calendar year
per 1 000 mid-year population of that year

Census & Statistic Department HKSAR (2018)

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 LONELINESS Attribution Theory & Misattributions
Internal or Dispositional Attribution
• The person is the cause of outcome

External or Situational Attribution

• The situation is the cause of outcome

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Listen, Don’t Criticize

Freeridesssss… Others or Yourself
1.Other’s Thoughts,
Emotions,
Situation

2.Own inner voices

but, holding it a
bit longer

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 Be Empathetic: Putting
yourself in others’ shoe
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Expressing
one’s
needs &
worries

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 Acceptance of Differences Actively CREATE positive and enjoyable moments!
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