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9 movies and TV series that do queer relationships justice

We asked LGBTQ filmmakers for their recs

(Melita Tirado)

Nneka McGuire — February 27, 2021

Stories are a slice of magic. Tales can transport us. Make us feel seen. Show us what’s
possible.
That’s why representation matters, perhaps all the more in visual forms of storytelling
like movies and television. When viewers look to the screen, they deserve to see
versions of themselves authentically reflected back.
As long as television and cinema have existed, we’ve watched straight people laugh,
fight, grow and fall in love. We wanted to zoom in on the best representation of LGBTQ
relationships on-screen.
We asked LGBTQ filmmakers to share a movie or TV show with a nuanced, honest
portrayal of queer partnership. Find their picks below.

Responses have been lightly edited for length and clarity.

‘Desert Hearts’ (1985)
Recommended by: Liz Sarnoff (she/her), an Emmy-nominated writer and producer
whose credits include “Deadwood,” “Lost” and “Barry.”
Synopsis: Adapted from the 1964 novel “Desert of the Heart,” this film set in 1959
Nevada follows a college professor in the middle of a divorce who has a relationship
with a younger woman.
“When ‘Desert Hearts’ was released, 19-year-old me went to the Quad in the West
Village to see it at least five times its first month out. The movie gave me such hope,
such optimism about the future — that it existed, with all these glorious women at its
center, was so far beyond my expectations of the world at that time. Everything about
the movie felt real — the attraction between them, the struggles they faced, and the
simple desire we all have to find love.”

‘Vida’ (2018 - 2020)

Recommended by: Aubree Bernier-Clarke (they/them), a filmmaker based in Los
Angeles and Portland, Ore., and director of “A Normal Girl.”
Synopsis: After their mother dies, Lyn and Emma, two estranged Mexican American
sisters, move back to their childhood neighborhood and grapple with their past.
“Watching the show ‘Vida’ was life-changing for me, in that it’s one of the first shows
I’ve seen that celebrates butch bodies and portrays butch/femme relationships in a way
that feels authentic to my experience. As a nonbinary [masculine] person who tends to
date femmes, when I’ve looked to films and TV shows in search of a reflection of myself
and my experience, what I often found was either tragic (‘Boys Don’t Cry’) or wildly
unrelatable (Shane from ‘The L Word’). ‘Vida’ dared to cast actual nonbinary and queer
actors in masc. roles that felt both credible and sexy. The show rejects stereotypes and
instead portrays all of its queer characters as real, whole people — strong, complicated,
flawed and lovable. I’ve never rooted so hard for an on-screen couple as I did for Emma
and Nico.”

‘My Summer of Love’ (2004)

Recommended by: Guinevere Turner, a writer and actor known for “American
Psycho,” “Go Fish” and “The L Word.”
Synopsis: Two young women — one working class, the other wealthy — develop a
relationship over the course of a summer.
“I’ve always loved ‘My Summer of Love’ because the relationship between the two young
women is so fraught and complicated and allows for the queer characters to be flawed,
something queer characters don’t always get to be. It also shows universal themes, but
with a queer lens — power dynamics in relationships where one person clearly has the
upper hand, and the blind faith of young, obsessive love. Plus, it’s Emily Blunt’s first
major film role and she’s deliciously wicked in it, making us feel like we would certainly
fall for her and do whatever she thought was a good idea. I just appreciate queers
behaving badly and things not necessarily ending l well, because we should be allowed
to have representation where we are not always angels.”

‘But I´m A Cheerleader’ (1999)

Recommended by: Rosanagh Griffiths (she/her), director of the documentary short
“Cindy,” which is screening as a part of the Athena Film Festival’s Come As You Are
Shorts program in March.
Synopsis: When her parents and friend suspect she’s a lesbian, a high school
cheerleader is shipped of to a boot camp to change her sexual orientation.
“An incredible piece of work on many levels; what might read as fun, frivolous, camp
filmmaking is actually a smart and wholly authentic piece of queer cinema. It reframes
the narrative of trauma around coming out and our relationships with our families, not
by shying away from the real threat of conversion therapy, but instead platforming it
as a potential reality, only to then strip it down through the mockery of a queer gaze.
Our protagonist finds love, and the relationship that develops is one that feels
authentic to being queer: A bond through shared experience of identity and chosen
families, and ultimately giving us the happy ending we’re so often deprived of in
cinema.”

‘Work in Progress’ (2019 - ongoing)

Recommended by: Jamie Babbit (she/her), director of “But I’m a Cheerleader” and
episodes of “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” and “Russian Doll.”
Synopsis: Abby, a down-on-her-luck 45-year-old, unexpectedly finds herself in a
dynamic, transformative relationship with a younger partner.
“An authentic LGBTQ relationship on TV is the relationship between Abby and Chris on
‘Work in Progress.’ I love their complicated love story and the way they struggle
through age differences and being from different queer generations. Abby is a neurotic
butch lesbian who learns to show Chris, her trans, younger partner, who she really is.
And Chris lovingly embraces all her faults and baggage.”

‘Appropriate Behavior’ (2014)

Recommended by: Ruth Caudeli (she/her), director of “Eva + Candela” and “Second
Star on the Right.”
Synopsis: An Iranian American Brooklynite whose family doesn’t know she’s bisexual
grapples with the fallout of a breakup.
“I think ‘Appropriate Behavior’ from Desiree Akhavan represents real bisexual
relationships because it tries to erase labels and just portray human beings relating to
each other. The characters have imperfections and the film shows real women loving
each other without trying to be polite. And we are just like that, not perfect.”

‘Vida’ (2018-2020)
Recommended by: Carrie Hawks (they/them), director, writer and animator whose
films include the documentaries “Delilah” and “black enuf*”.
Synopsis: Sisters Lyn and Emma return to their childhood neighborhood and learn
about family secrets after their mom dies.
“‘Vida’ on Starz had very realistic portrayals of queer relationships. Emma, the older
sister, had difficulty with trust and intimacy, often substituting sexual exchanges for
actual relationships. Once she met a caring person in Nico, it was too beautiful not to
have complications. Even though they faced difficulties, you could see they really loved
and cared for each other.”

‘Ma Belle, My Beauty’ (2021)

Recommended by: Shari Frilot (she/her), senior programmer, Sundance Film
Festival, and chief curator, New Frontier at Sundance.
Synopsis: Newlyweds Bertie and Fred are settling into life in France when Lane, the
ex with whom they used to share a polyamorous relationship, shows up.
“This tipsy, moody dive into polyamory holds all of the gravity and complexity of sexual
fluidity and triangulation, while maintaining the buoyant atmosphere of a hot summer
adventure through the fields of Europe. Levitated by an intoxicating acoustic guitar
soundtrack by Mahmoud Chouki, ‘Ma Belle, My Beauty’ is a breezy and meaningful
journey through wine-drenched candlelit dinners, firelit vineyard parties, farmers
markets and sunny hikes by the creek, as Fred, Bertie and Lane grapple with how to
get what they want inside the messy soup of their desires, passions and life ambitions.”

‘Steven Universe’ (2013 - 2020)

Recommended by: Harri Shanahan (they/them), co-director of “Rebel Dykes,” a
documentary about a group of friends in 1980s London, which is screening at the BFI
Flare: London LGBTIQ+ Film Festival in March.
Synopsis: This series follows the misadventures of Steven, “little brother” to the
Crystal Gems, a gang of magical entities who see themselves as the guardians of the
universe.
“It’s an animated series that even young children can follow and yet there’s a depth to
the relationships between the Crystal Gems. They break up and remain friends, they
co-parent with Steven’s dad, they carry old hurts sometimes, they support each other
but they do fight sometimes, they are a family of choice in the way the rebel dykes in
our film are a family, with all the complexity that family entails.”

‘Tales of the City’ (1993)

Recommended by: Siân A. Williams (they/them), co-director of the documentary
“Rebel Dykes,” which is screening at the BFI Flare: London LGBTIQ+ Film Festival in
March.
Synopsis: This series, adapted from novels by Armistead Maupin, originally aired on
Channel 4 in Britain and delved into the lives of LGBTQ characters in San Francisco in
the 1970s.
“Seeing the original Channel 4 series as a kid and then reading the books gave me
glimpses of queer community and spaces where relationships can be sustained and
evolved over decades.”

Nneka McGuire
Nneka McGuire is a former multiplatform editor for The Lily.