Life Design

Creating the Adventure of Your Life

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“There is only one success—to be able to spend your life in your own
way.”

Christopher Morley

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 IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER

I’d dare to make more mistakes next time. I’d relax. I would limber up. I would be
sillier than I have been this trip. I would take fewer things seriously. I would take
more chances. I would take more trip. I would climb more mountains and swim
more rivers. I would eat more ice cream and less beans. I would perhaps have
more actual troubles, but fewer imaginary ones. You see, I’m one of those people
who live sensibly and sanely hour after hour, day after day. Oh, I’ve had my
moments. If I had it to do over again, I’d have more of them. In fact, I’d try to have
nothing else, just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years
ahead of each day. I’ve been one of those persons who never goes anywhere
without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat, and a parachute. If I could
do it again, I would travel lighter than I have. If I had my life to live over, I would
start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would go to
more dances. I would ride more merry-go-rounds. I would pick more daisies.

Nadine Stair

The journey you are about to begin focuses on how you plan to create your own life. You’ll take
a few moments and look forward to a life of your own design. I wish you a journey filled with
joy and fascinating experiences, a fulfilling life, and, most significantly, a life of your own
design!
 Welcome to the Adventure

Welcome to the Adventure

“I am now creating the life I want to live!” What adventure could possibly be
more exciting than creating the life you want? The LIFE DESIGN process is about
doing precisely that. Forged from the fires of life experience, LIFE DESIGN
continues to be tested and expanded. Welcome to the Adventure of Your Life.

Three Questions Guide Your Journey

By the conclusion of your Life Design, you will have answered the following
questions about your life:

 Where Is My Life Today?

 What Do I Want to Create?

 How Do I Move from “Here to There?”

Your Life Design Includes

When you’ve completed your Life Design, you’ll have your Personal Mission,
Values, & Goals. You’ll test your goals by examining Self-Limiting Beliefs,
“Asking the Critical Question,” completing “Triggers of Transformation.” You
may rewrite your Goals (until they seem exciting and inspiring) and then add the
Action Steps through which you’ll implement your Life Design.

“It is only in adventure that some people succeed in knowing themselves—

in finding themselves.”
Andre Gide
 Introducing “The Power of Journey”
To open your heart and mind to inner possibilities, begin by exploring your own
imagination. On the next few pages, you’ll see an explanation of a Model called
“The Power of Journey,” examine the Model, and complete some quick thoughts
on preparing for and leaving on the early stages of the journey.

Reflecting on “The Power of Journey” facilitates an ability to look with “fresh

eyes.” Hopefully, you can allow yourself to imagine and utilize your creativity.
Suspend your assumptions of what you can and cannot do. Allow yourself some
time simply to explore the possibilities.

Introduction to The Power of Journey

Mythologist, Joseph Campbell, identified through story and myth a pattern we

follow as our lives unfold. Before you begin your “journey,” take a few moments
and reflect on the model on the next page entitled: THE POWER OF
JOURNEY. You start at the top of the circular path with DEPARTURE and the
Call to Adventure (see the Model on the next page). You proceed from there in
a counter clockwise direction.

George Lucas, creator of “Star Wars,” was a huge fan of Joseph Campbell and,
as you review the stages of the journey, you may be reminded of scenes from
“Star Wars” films. Example:

DEPARTURE

The Call to Adventure: Luke Skywalker longs to leave his isolated planet and
join the fight against the Empire.

Helpers & Mentors Obi-Wan Kenobe shows up; Hans Solo and his
Millennium Falcon are enlisted (the Life Design
exercises serve as Helpers)

Threshold-Crossing Young Skywalker enters a strange bar with creatures

from all over the galaxy; he’s about to experience light
speed and cross into a new world
INITIATION

Tests & Trials Luke & his companions experience capture, storm
troopers trying to kill them, attempts to get the plans for a
dooms day weapon downloaded in a droid and deliver
those plans to the “good guys.”

Mentors & Helpers New Helpers emerge in unique forms like a little green
swamp creature, Yoda.

Directions: On the following page, you’ll find “The Power of

Journey” Model. Take a moment, reflect on it, and then
move on to the next page where you’ll record some
initial thoughts about your journey.

Suggestion: Write down your first thoughts and then

move on; don’t spend a lot of time trying to figure out the
“right” answer. Once your mind begins the process,
other ideas will come. Record your first thoughts and
then move on to the next steps. (In Part I, you’ll only
record reflections on the first half of the journey.)
 The Power of Journey

DEPARTURE: THE JOURNEY BEGINS

The Call to Adventure
Frequently in myth & story, the hero/heroine receives a call
– it may be the Holy Grail appearing before the knights of
the Round Table challenging the knights to pursue the
Grail. Or it might be Joan of Arc being called to lead her
army into battle.

How are you being called? What challenge reaches out to

you and calls out to you for a response?

I am being called by the opportunity of an Internship at

a construction company for a project management position.
The challenge of the interview reaches for me and calls for a
response.

Helpers & Mentors
Once you respond to the call Helpers & Mentors will
appear. Think of Obi Won Kenobe and Yoda as examples.
People who have been “out there,” can advise you about
your journey, provide insight and guidance in your
preparation.

Can you think of any Helpers & Mentors that might help
you respond to your “Call?” Identify the first names that
come to mind.

I am not sure if this counts, but my dad and girlfriend

have responded to my call to offer their expertise as my
dad is currently a project manager and has done many
interviews.
 The Power of Journey Continues
Threshold Crossing You now cross a Threshold, enter into the dark, the
unknown. It may be symbolized by a dark forest, an
unchartered sea, a dangerous jungle, or outer space. It may
be reflected in a new job, the loss of a job, a marriage, a
divorce, a baby, retirement or …? The threshold may be
guarded by an ogre that doesn’t want you to pass. What is
the unknown into which you must cross? Danger and
adventure await. Beware! Be Aware! Proceed.

The unknown that awaits me is he thought of losing my

coworkers from my current job that I have known to love
and enjoy working with and going into a new environment.

Tests and Trials I’m afraid so. The journey is not without challenges.
Obstacles appear. Roadblocks force us to detour. The
journey is not a vacation but has its tests along the way.
Why is your friend discouraging you? Will you give up?
Do you question your Call? Or is another door opening?
Reflect on possible tests and trials or return later when you
encounter a test or trial.

I will not give up, I feel as it is a door opening for me

and also a test to see if I am ready for a “real” job.

Helpers & Mentors Look around you. Are there Helpers or Mentors who may
serve as guides? Is there help you’re ignoring?

Yes my father, I am not ignoring their help and I am

actually seeking it and he is serving me as a guide.

Your Next Step: Complete The Life Satisfaction Chart and establish a baseline of where
you are today.
THE LIFE SATISFACTION CHART

One of your goals is to identify the level of joy and happiness in your life today.
This Life Satisfaction Chart will help you evaluate your level of
satisfaction/dissatisfaction with 19 life areas. This chart provides you a starting
point for your adventure.
1 = Very dissatisfied

2 = Dissatisfied

3 = Acceptable

4 = Satisfied

5 = Life as I want it

DIRECTIONS: Write today’s date beneath DATE (Today). You will only work
under the column marked DATE (Today). As you review each LIFE AREA,
you’ll circle one number, either a 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5 depending on how satisfied or
dissatisfied you are with that aspect of your life. Circle one number under the
DATE (Today) column for each of the LIFE AREAS. The meaning of each
number is identified above. For example, if you are completely satisfied with how
much your exercise, circle a 5. If completely dissatisfied, circle a 1. You can come
back in 3 months, 6 months, and 1 year to see how you’re progressing.

Complete the Life Satisfaction Chart and move on to the next path on your
journey, The Personal Mission Statement.

The Life Satisfaction Chart

LIFE AREAS DATE DATE DATE DATE

(11/22/21) (3 Months Later) (6 Months Later) (1 Year Later)

Physical Health
a. Exercise 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
b. Diet 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
Work/Career 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 6 1 2 3 4 5
Relationships
b. Parents 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
c. Children 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
d. Friendships 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
e. Primary/Spouse 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
f. Co-Workers 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
g. Brothers/Sisters 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5

Education/Learning 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5

Living Environments
a. Geographical 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
Location
b. Home Environment 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5

Spiritual Health 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5

Emotional Health
a. Self-Esteem 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
b. Optimism 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
c. Ability to Feel 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
d. Self Caretaking 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5

Leisure Time/ 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
Hobbies

Finances 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5

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"Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks
outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakens.”

Carl Jung

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 Personal Mission Statement
Before setting off on an adventure, get clear about your mission. No journey brings much joy if it’s out of
alignment with your purpose or mission. Answer the following questions with the first impressions that come
to mind.

A. What are 3 of your best qualities? Examples: intelligence, determination, kindness, enthusiasm, friendliness,
creativity, toughness, loyalty, curiosity)
1.friendliness
2 Compassion

3.Ethusiasm

B. What 3 words, in your opinion, best describe the most important things you do? (Examples: create, parent,
love, challenge, employ, supervise, counsel, nurture, heal)
1. Love

2. Challenge

3. Create

C. What are the 3 most important accomplishments you could achieve over the next 6 to 12 months?
(Examples: graduate from school, spend 30 minutes a day in quiet reflection, make good grades, teach children,
get a good paying job, spend quality time with my kids)

1. Got a job after Covid

2. Getting good grades

3. Got an interview for a good paying job

D. If you achieved, beyond your wildest dreams, all 3 accomplishments, what 3 results would you see?
(Examples: diploma in your hand, dream job, happy kids, sitting by a river)
1.Good money and income

2.Ability to move out on my own

4. Graduation from College

E. If you achieved all 3 accomplishments, what 3 feelings best describe how you would feel? (Examples:
powerful, happy, fulfilled, proud, joyful, astounded, secure, successful, elated)
1.Happy

2.Pride

3.Fullfilled
 PERSONAL MISSION STATEMENT

Next Step: Transfer the information you collected on the previous page to the
appropriate spaces below.

My personal mission is to use my (3 qualities from A. 1, 2, 3)

____friendliness_____________________, __________compassion________________________ and
_____enthusiasm_________________________________to (3 most important things I do
from B. 1, 2, 3) ______love________________________________,
______________challenge___________________, and
__________________create_____________________ so_ that I can (3 most important
accomplishments from C. 1, 2, 3)_______get a job after covid______________, __________get
good grades_______________________, and ___________get the job from the
interview____________________________.

Having achieved my 3 most important accomplishments (D. 1, 2, 3), the results I see
are___________good money and steady
income__________________________________________________________,
____________________ability to move out on my
own____________________________________________________, and
____________________graduate from college
____________________________________________________. I feel (3 accomplishments
from E. 1, 2, 3) ___________happy______________________________,
___________________________________prideful____________________________________
_, and
______________________fullilled_________________________________________________
_about my accomplishments.
 “If you always do what you always did, then you’ll always get
what you always got!” Moms Mabley

Values
What is important to you? What values guide your life? What beliefs inform your
behavior? Consider how you spend your time and money; your review provides
helpful clues that help you identify what you value. Compare what you “say” you
value and how you actually spend your time and money – the process provides a
“reality check.” Are the words you speak in alignment with what you are doing?

Below is a random list of commonly held values. The list provides examples, but
you can choose from the list or choose your own words. Take a few moments and
identify what is important in your life. Journey across the “Bridge of Values” and
write down your 10 most important values. Remember, these values form the
foundation upon which you walk through life. Choose each step carefully.

 Recognition (respect from others)

 Spiritual Growth/Religious Beliefs
 Helpfulness (to others, improving society)
 Wealth (making lots of money)
 Peacefulness (nirvana, inner harmony)
 Power (authority, control, directing others)
 Achievement (reaching established goals)
 Pleasure (laughter, having fun, leisure)
 Love (bonding, affection, caring)
 Achievement (accomplishment, mastery)
 Promotion (advancing, making progress)
 Adventure (new and challenging experiences)
 Freedom (independence, autonomy)
 Economic Security (steady, adequate income)
 Health (physical and mental well being)
 Cooperation/Teamwork
 Loyalty
 Integrity/Honesty
 Competition
 Education/Wisdom
 Friendship
 Stability, Order
 Fame
 Creativity
 Family Happiness
 Self-Pride

List your ten most important values.

1.________helpfullness____________________ 6.______friendship____________

2.___________stability_________________ 7.______creativity________________
3.______ ____self-pride _______ 8. ___________loyalty__________

4.______integrity _______________ 9.____________adventure _________

5._________economic stability _____________ 10.______teamwork ______________

MY LIFE DESIGN

Now you are ready to begin planning your LIFE DESIGN. As is true of any
adventure, the planning is part of the fun.

The Planning Process

The Planning Process used today moves from the GENERAL to the SPECIFIC.

The three steps include:

Step A. On line 1 and 2 below, write the two Life Areas you want
to work with today. (You may want to refer back to your Life
Satisfaction Chart)

Step B. Identify 2-4 general goals for each Life Area.

Step C. Identify specific action steps for each goal. The action steps will
answer questions -- When? What? Where? How much does it cost?
Who will join me? (Complete Step C, Part II of Life Design in
Module 6.)

Remember to keep referring to your Mission Statement and Values. Goals need to mirror what
is critical and important in your life. Remember also that you are on the adventure of your own
life, an adventure which can be filled with purpose, excitement, and new experiences. If you plan
what you’ve always planned, you’ll only experience what you’ve always experienced. How can
you do it in your own fresh, unique way?

Planning Process Step A. Write your top priority Life Area on Line 1. Select a second Life
Area and write it on Line 2. In selecting Life Areas, ask yourself -- “What is most
important and most urgent for my attention today?”

1._ _Emotional Health

2.___Physical Health

Planning Process Step B. Identify, on the next two pages, 2-4 general goals for each of your
two Life Areas. Goals are very general. Action Steps come later (in Part II of Life Design) and
will list the actions you will take to achieve your goals. Here are some examples of Goals for
different Life Areas.

Life Area: Self Caretaking

Goal: Research and identify ways to have more time for myself.

Goal: Identify and plan daily, monthly, annual activities for renewal rest and fun.

Goal: Implement alone time and renewal/rest/fun time activities.

Life Area: Education/Career

Goal: I successfully complete my course of study.

Goal: My study habits and class attendance form the basis of success in
school and my work.

Goal: Interview potential mentors for support in my career development.

Goal: I form a study group that helps all of us graduate on schedule and with honors.

Life Area: Children

 Goal: Identify resources (Classes, Books, Counselors) to help me improve my
parenting and myself.
Goal: Create family discussions to identify ways for spending time together
as a family.
Goal: Create time where I listen to what is happening in my
children’s lives.

LIFE AREA ONE: ___Emotional Health___

Goal 1:
Gain self confidence

Goal 2:

Take better care of myself

Goal 3:

Have less doubt in myself

Goal 4:

Stay Humble

LIFE AREA TWO: ____Physical

Health__________________

Goal 1:

Exercise more

Goal 2:

Have a better diet

Goal 3:

Drink less
Goal 4:

Go outside more

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“May the outward and inward man be at one.”

Socrates

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The Personal Mission Statement: EXAMPLE

If you’ve ever worked on developing a mission statement then you know it can be a tedious,
lengthy process. However, you can create your own first draft of a Personal Mission Statement
within the next few minutes. On the following page, you record three responses for each of five
Prompts. Once you’ve completed that page, you simply transfer each of the three responses to
the appropriate lines on the second page.

Example:

Question: What are 3 of your best qualities?

Potential Answer: Creativity, kindness, and perseverance

You transfer the words “Creativity, kindness, and perseverance” to the next page where it will
read:

My personal mission is to use my (3 qualities from A. 1, 2, 3) “creativity, kindness, and

perseverance” to ___________, _________________, and ______________. You continue
transferring the words from the B. 1, 2, and 3 and so on until you have filled in all the blanks.

Your Personal Mission Statement will read something like this, for example:

My personal mission is to use my creativity, kindness, and perseverance to manage employees, paint
paintings, and love my family so that I can help my team and company succeed, find satisfaction in
my artistic expression, and experience a loving family. Having achieved my 3 most important
accomplishments, the results I see are current employees being promoted and the company more
profitable, my paintings hanging in homes of people who enjoy them, and laughing children and
grandchildren on the beach with me and my spouse. I feel successful, fulfilled, and joyful about my
accomplishments.

The Power of Journey

As your journey proceeds, you may be experiencing some stirring of the

imagination. Ideas are fermenting and in transition. Questions are arising.
You may even be questioning some of the work you’ve already completed.
If so, feel free to amend and revise or even start over. Allow your thinking
to develop. The best part of this process is that it all comes from you.

You’ve created a Mission Statement, identified Values, and written out Goals.
Before you go too much further, you’ll pause, and examine what you’ve already
completed.

Before you proceed, you’ll want to examine any limitations that you may be
placing on yourself. To do that, (and keeping with the theme of adventure) you’ll
complete a few simple exercises. You’ll enter The Shadow Jungle and, after
completing these exercises, you’ll have an opportunity either to move forward with
the Goals you wrote or re-write them.

The Exercises you’ll complete include:

 Self-Limiting Beliefs
 Identify Your Safari Crew
 “Win the Lottery” or “Asking the Critical Question”
 “Triggers for Transformation”
  “Feedback From Friends”

Once you’ve completed those exercises, you’ll then finalize your Goals and add
Action Steps for each Goal.

Entering the Shadow Jungle

Every life moves through the Shadow Jungle on its journey—not once, but many
times. Within it, you will encounter the dreaded scourge of all life’s adventures.
With the pungent smell of plant decay filling your nostrils, you will hack your way
through the dense foliage of the near impenetrable jungle mass, only to be attacked
at the most inappropriate moment by
Self-Limiting Beliefs

“Name your limits and they’re yours.”

Richard Bach

≈≈

On life’s journey, you travel weighed down with beliefs from by-gone years. Your
caravan packs the remnants of past experience . . . and these experiences (and the
beliefs that come with them) may weigh you down. As you uncover beliefs and
dust them off for a closer look, your goal includes:

 honoring and reaffirming beliefs that still serve you;

  updating worn and outdated beliefs to the level of your current maturity;
and/or;
 replacing self-limiting beliefs, that hold you back, with life-affirming beliefs.

“Whoever authors your story authorizes your actions.

We gain personal authority and power
in the measure that we question the myth that is upheld
by ‘the authorities’ and discover and create personal myths
that illuminate and inform us.”

Sam Keen

Self Limiting Beliefs

In India, baby elephants are chained to stakes
from which they cannot break loose. Struggle as
they may, they learn at an early age they cannot
escape, so they quit trying.
 When the elephants grow to maturity,
the trainer ties the elephant to the stake
with a flimsy rope. The elephant could
break loose if it tried, but it doesn’t even
try. The belief from earlier times limits
what the elephant does.

Uncovering Self-Limiting Beliefs

You may call self-limiting beliefs something else—conditions, circumstances beyond your
control or “just the way I was raised.” Whatever name you give the belief or behavior, your goal
is to uncover it (them) and free yourself from those that involve self-imposed limitations. The
following seventeen questions may help you sneak up on some of those beliefs. Not every
answer will represent a self-limiting belief. However, your spontaneous response may provide
some clues.

1. The main reason I will fail to achieve my Goals for Life Area #1 is:
I doubt myself
2. I could achieve all my Goals in Life Area #1 if it were not for (person, or circumstance, or belief):
____________________The risk of embarrassing myself by looking like a fool
__________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

3. If I fail to achieve my Goals, I will prove that I was right about: doubting myself
4. The one thing I don’t ever want to hear anyone say about me again is: That was a stupid idea.
_____________________________________________________________________

5. One thing I do not like about myself is: How I feel I cant talk to others and be myself
______________________________________________________________________

6. One thing I refuse to accept about myself is: I am not always wrong and need to stop being afraid
I am
______________________________________________________________________

7. If only I could have _____________________Self confidence______________my life would be better.

8. I blame ________myself________________________for __________lacking self
confidence_______________________

______________________________________________________________________

9. If only I could be _______less doubtful______________________my life would be better.

10. It’s not my fault that ______I do not want to be wrong and let others
down___________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________

11. Some ways I sabotage my own success are:___________not speaking up when I should _____________

____________________________________________________________________________

12. Before I can proceed with my Goals, I need the approval of ______others around me____________________

13. Skills that I lack and need to have to achieve my Goals are: _______self confidence__________________

____________________________________________________________________________

14. I need to learn _______To be more self confident__________________________________ before I

can successfully achieve my Vision.

15. I can still hear my Father’s voice demanding that I _________step up to the plate and have
confidence________

____________________________________________________________________________

16. I still hear my Mother insisting that I others love me and I should see it.______________________

____________________________________________________________________________

17. Money (the lack of it) may be an obstacle to achieving my goals. I have listed below how the lack of
money will keep me from implementation of my LIFE DESIGN.

a. ________________moving out on my own_____________________________________

b. Buying a nice car

c. _____________buying a nice house___________________________________

 $$Winning the Lottery$$
You have just won $20,000,000 tax free. It has been presented to you in one lump sum. Outline
what you will do with the money. (Most of us have fantasized about winning the lottery; play
along for a few minutes and write down 3 – 5 ways you would spend the money).

Had I won the lottery, I would instantly invest half of it, With the reaming sum I would buy a
nice house, a nice car, and check off some bucket list items such as receiving my private pilot
license.
You’ll use the items you’ve listed above as you move to the next Exercise,
“Asking the Critical Question.”

“Two roads diverged in a wood and I took the road less traveled by and that has
made all the difference.”
Robert Frost
 Asking the Critical Question
Have you found it difficult to think in terms of what you want to create? Most people do have
some difficulty since they received little encouragement to think that way. It can be dubbed as
“selfish, “or “egocentric,” or “thoughtless,” etc. Nevertheless, the heroic journey begins in the
arena of your deepest wants. When you dare to identify those wants, you may discover yet
another challenge.

NEW CHALLENGE: Sometimes the “want” you identify is not the “true want.” It is a symbol
or a clue to help you find what you genuinely want. That brings us to “Asking the Critical
Question.” (Think of yourself as Sherlock Holmes or Hercule Poirot). You have received several
clues in the “wants” you listed by winning the lottery. However, you will not be satisfied until
you have uncovered the deeper truth. You use the “Asking the Critical Question” process and
uncover new information leading to what you really want.

The Critical Question: What will be true of your life after you get what you want that is not true
today?

≈≈≈

Critical Question Exercise:

Take your list from “Winning the Lottery” and identify the result for each item. What will be
true after you get what you want that is not true today? Write the change that will take place for
each item.
What would be true if I get what I don’t have is that ill have economic stability, I will have
much less stress and be able to do things I couldn’t have normally done working a full time
job and having little money.
_____________________________________________________________________________

Reflections on “Asking the Critical Question”

Perhaps you can already anticipate the results of the Reflection process from “Asking the Critical
Question.” To help you with your reflections, here’s a story from my experiences mediating
conflict. I learned, in that process, how human beings speak in clues and symbols.

The items you wrote down for “Winning the Lottery” are typically clues and symbols for what
you really want. You weren’t lying. What you wrote down is symbolic of what you want. I’ll
use a simple story:

Johnny Smith is 16 years old. If you ask him what he wants more than anything, it’s a red
Ferrari. He dreams of it, talks about it, and longingly stares at the poster in his bedroom. Let’s
give him what he wants and ask him the “Critical Question.”

“Johnny, what will be true after you get the red Ferrari that isn’t true now?”

Johnny answers: “Well, if I drive up in front of school driving that car, everyone will notice me.
No one even knows my name now, but, will they ever then! I’ll bet the girls will finally pay
attention to me . . . and I’ll bet Becky Jones will go out on a date with me if I had a red Ferrari.”

What Johnny really wants is 1) to be noticed, 2) to have girls pay attention to him, and 3) a date
with Becky Jones. What he talks about is a red Ferrari which symbolizes what he really wants.

You may think, “No, he really wants a red Ferrari.”

No, he doesn’t. Just picture Johnny on a desert island with a red Ferrari and no one to see him.

I understand it takes some willingness and effort to examine one’s self and gain insight, but the
insights can be valuable and even life altering. I simply suggest you spend a few moments
reflecting on the items you wrote from “Winning the Lottery” and what you wrote after “Asking
the Critical Question,” and see what comes up. Here’s the good news -- usually what you really
want, you can do something about today. You don’t have to wait to “Win the Lottery.”

If you have additional questions about this process, be sure to send them to me.
 WORDS
Triggers for Transformation

How do we not only move forward creating what we want, but also face, transform, grow and
change as we encounter our Space Dragons and Ego Demons? One additional way is to pay
attention to our language because words are “Triggers for Transformation”.

The Mirage of Non-Choice

Our use of words can be a subtle way to convince ourselves that we have no choices.

Words reflect a thought

Thoughts reflect a belief

Belief reflects victimization/empowerment

Choose language supportive of desired results, not language which degenerates in victim
mentality.

Victim Language Power Language

I can’t I can
I’m not I am able to
I’m not worthy I am worthy
I don’t deserve I deserve
I should, ought I want
I wish I want
I don’t I know
I’ll try I’m now doing

Beware of comparative words such as “better” and “best”.

To whom you are comparing yourself? No one can be a better you than you!

“The last of the human freedoms- - to choose one’s attitude in any given
circumstance, to choose one’s own way.”
Victor Frankl

WORDS
 Triggers for Transformation

How do you work with Triggers for Transformation?

Primarily, you must raise your awareness of your use of language. To practice, do
the following. Create a sentence that flows naturally from your mouth and then
replace it with a different sentence. For example:

“I can’t handle conflict.” “I can handle conflict.”

Changing the language you use activates the thought behind the words and then
activates the belief behind the thought. So complete one sentence with the “Victim
Language” and then replace it with “Power Language.”

I can’t be confident I can be confident

I’m not happy I’m able to be happy

I’m not worthy I am worthy

I don’t deserve I do deserve

I should exercise I want to excercise

I wish I was self confident I want to be more confident

I don’t know I do know

I’ll try I’m now doing

Notice how you feel when you change the language you’re using.
 ≈≈

"If one is out of touch with oneself, then one cannot touch others . . . only when one is connected
to one’s own inner core is one connected to others."

Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Gift from the Sea

≈≈

FEEDBACK FROM FRIENDS

This exercise accomplishes two goals. On the one hand, it can help you refine
your Goals. The other factor is this process can help you implement your Life
Design. When facilitating this material with a group, one of the most powerful
exercises is having three people go off by themselves and take turns asking each
other questions. One person has their goals in their lap, one person asks questions
and listens to the answers, and the third person watches the non-verbal language as
the first person answers the questions. This exercise is a variation on that process.

Why is it important? It’s one thing to write down your goals; a more powerful step
is to have someone ask you questions about your goals. The questioning takes
matters to a whole new level, both during planning and the implementation phases.

Approach one or more people you trust – friend, spouse, parent, other family
members -- give them a set of questions to ask you while you think about your
goals. (You don’t need to tell them the Life Areas or the goals you’re working on.
You simply need to answer their questions and pay attention to your answers.

Here are the Questions as asked by the participant you invite:

1. Picture achieving your goals. Do you feel any joy or excitement? If not, then why have
you chosen these goals?

2. Is your intention clear? What is the change going to accomplish? What will happen in
your life as a result of these goals being implemented?

3. Are your goals in alignment with your mission statement (purpose) and your values?

4. Are you committed to your goals? Have you prepared for the obstacles you may
encounter? Are you willing to do what needs to be done?

5. Are you willing to think the thoughts, speak the words, and do the deeds needed to
change?

6. Are you gathering support from other people in your change process (conspiracy or
breathing together)? If not, why not? Have you dealt with potential sabotage?

Next Step:

You’ve completed a number of exercises that may have raised questions in your
mind about your Goals. Are the Goals you originally wrote the ones you want to
keep? Do you want to rewrite the Goals? Can you make the Goals more
powerful? More joyful? More likely to be completed?

It’s your choice because it’s your Life Design. You are the hero/heroine of your
journey. How do you want it to proceed?

PLANNING PROCESS Step C: Goals & Add Action Steps

Life Area #1: Physical health

Goal: Exercise more

Action Steps
1 Go outside
2 Diet better
3 Get a gym membership
4 Set a workout schedule
5 Get up earlier

Goal: Diet
Action Steps
1 Buy better food to eat
2 Eat more fruit
3 Eat more vegetables
4 Eat a bit less
5 Don’t eat after dinner

Goal: workout more

Action Steps
1 Get up earlier
2 Go on walks
3 run
4 get a gym membership
5 set a schedule

Goal: lose weight

Action Steps
1 less junk food
2 drink less
3 exercise more
4 go on runs
5 diet

PLANNING PROCESS Step C

Life Area #2: Emotional health

Goal: More Self confidence

Action Steps
1 stop saying “I think”
2 think higher of myself
3 be humble
4 understand I am worthy
5 be more social

Goal: less self doubt

Action Steps
1 study harder
2 think more
3 stop saying maybe
4 know what I am doing
5 have confidence

Goal: be more social

Action Steps
1 talk to people
2 put myself out there
3 joke with people
4 ask people questions
5 force myself to talk

Goal: be happy
Action Steps
1 smile more
2 learn to love work
3 be more confident
4 enjoy the company of others
5 enjoy life

(Your Life Design, Part II, is due by 11:59 p.m., 10/04)

APPENDIX
The Appendix includes some additional exercises that can be useful in the creation
of your Life Design. They are NOT REQUIRED, but they are available should
you want to use them.

They include:

Scaling the Cliffs of Desire

Doorways to Change

Temple of Discovery

Scaling the Cliffs of Desire

Change… The “four letter word” that requires six letters. Our tendency is to avoid, deny, or
resist change. However, escaping the Falls of Destruction requires scaling the Cliffs of Desire,
i.e. requires us to change. Our motivation may come from the dear of pain or the power of the
pleasure we received when we create the life we want. No matter what the motivation, we need
to review how we move through change and some of the experience s we can expect.

Life Design Change Objectives:

Self managed ---- You are empowered to direct your own change.

Interdependent ---- Your do the change, but not without strengthening yourself with support.

Cost effective ---- Most of the doorways for change cost little to nothing to implement.

Change is… “Endurable if it means something - - if it is a part of a movement

toward the desired end. But if it is not related to some large and beneficial pattern, it
becomes simply distressing.”
William Bridges
“When one door closes, another opens, but we often look so long and regretfully upon the close
door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”

Alexander Graham Bell

≈≈≈
 Doorways For Change
Each of these openings lead you through a doorway where you once encountered a wall. Each
doorway will help you move through the Shadow Jungle or light your way through the Caves of
Self-Deception. Select doorways that serve your needs and your journey. Only you can choose
correctly for your request.
 Temple of Discovery
Having identified what you want to create, you now enter the Temple of
Discovery. Within the Temple, you will implement your Life Design in the
quotidian. The real quest is about to begin. The wizard (your instructor) offers you
some magical tools to assist you as you proceed.

1. The Vision of Joy: Give yourself some quiet time and allow your mind
to gather a clear picture of your successful implementation of your Life
Design. As you picture your successful Life Design, do you see a
“symbol” in your Vision of that success?

2. To My Heroine/Hero, a letter of celebration: Take out a piece of blank

paper and put a date at the top that is 6 months from today. Write a letter
to yourself congratulating yourself for your successful implementation of
your Life Design. Place that letter somewhere you’ll be reminded to
open it 6 months from today.
 "To laugh often and much, to win the respect of
intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn
the appreciation of honest critics and endure the
betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find
the best in others, to leave the world a bit better,
whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a
redeemed social condition, to know that even one life
has breathed better because you have lived. This is to
have succeeded."

Ralph Waldo Emerson