Madison Wittmayer

Life Design
Creating the Adventure of Your Life
Madison Wittmayer

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“There is only one success—to be able to spend your life in your own
way.”

Christopher Morley

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Madison Wittmayer

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER

I’d dare to make more mistakes next time. I’d relax. I would limber up. I would be
sillier than I have been this trip. I would take fewer things seriously. I would take
more chances. I would take more trip. I would climb more mountains and swim
more rivers. I would eat more ice cream and less beans. I would perhaps have
more actual troubles, but fewer imaginary ones. You see, I’m one of those people
who live sensibly and sanely hour after hour, day after day. Oh, I’ve had my
moments. If I had it to do over again, I’d have more of them. In fact, I’d try to have
nothing else, just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years
ahead of each day. I’ve been one of those persons who never goes anywhere
without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat, and a parachute. If I could
do it again, I would travel lighter than I have. If I had my life to live over, I would
start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would go to
more dances. I would ride more merry-go-rounds. I would pick more daisies.

Nadine Stair

The journey you are about to begin focuses on how you plan to create your own life. You’ll take
a few moments and look forward to a life of your own design. I wish you a journey filled with joy
and fascinating experiences, a fulfilling life, and, most significantly, a life of your own design!
Madison Wittmayer

Welcome to the Adventure

Welcome to the Adventure

“I am now creating the life I want to live!” What adventure could possibly be
more exciting than creating the life you want? The LIFE DESIGN process is about
doing precisely that. Forged from the fires of life experience, LIFE DESIGN
continues to be tested and expanded. Welcome to the Adventure of Your Life.

Three Questions Guide Your Journey

By the conclusion of your Life Design, you will have answered the following
questions about your life:

• Where Is My Life Today?

• What Do I Want to Create?

• How Do I Move from “Here to There?”

Your Life Design Includes

When you’ve completed your Life Design, you’ll have your Personal Mission,
Values, & Goals. You’ll test your goals by examining Self-Limiting Beliefs,
“Asking the Critical Question,” completing “Triggers of Transformation.” You
may rewrite your Goals (until they seem exciting and inspiring) and then add the
Action Steps through which you’ll implement your Life Design.

“It is only in adventure that some people succeed in knowing themselves—

in finding themselves.”
Andre Gide
Madison Wittmayer

Introducing “The Power of Journey”

To open your heart and mind to inner possibilities, begin by exploring your own
imagination. On the next few pages, you’ll see an explanation of a Model called
“The Power of Journey,” examine the Model, and complete some quick thoughts
on preparing for and leaving on the early stages of the journey.

Reflecting on “The Power of Journey” facilitates an ability to look with “fresh

eyes.” Hopefully, you can allow yourself to imagine and utilize your creativity.
Suspend your assumptions of what you can and cannot do. Allow yourself some
time simply to explore the possibilities.

Introduction to The Power of Journey

Mythologist, Joseph Campbell, identified through story and myth a pattern we

follow as our lives unfold. Before you begin your “journey,” take a few moments
and reflect on the model on the next page entitled: THE POWER OF
JOURNEY. You start at the top of the circular path with DEPARTURE and the
Call to Adventure (see the Model on the next page). You proceed from there in
a counter clockwise direction.

George Lucas, creator of “Star Wars,” was a huge fan of Joseph Campbell and,
as you review the stages of the journey, you may be reminded of scenes from
“Star Wars” films. Example:

DEPARTURE

The Call to Adventure: Luke Skywalker longs to leave his isolated planet and
join the fight against the Empire.

Helpers & Mentors Obi-Wan Kenobe shows up; Hans Solo and his
Millennium Falcon are enlisted (the Life Design
exercises serve as Helpers)

Threshold-Crossing Young Skywalker enters a strange bar with creatures

from all over the galaxy; he’s about to experience light
speed and cross into a new world
Madison Wittmayer

INITIATION

Tests & Trials Luke & his companions experience capture, storm
troopers trying to kill them, attempts to get the plans for a
dooms day weapon downloaded in a droid and deliver
those plans to the “good guys.”

Mentors & Helpers New Helpers emerge in unique forms like a little green
swamp creature, Yoda.

Directions: On the following page, you’ll find “The Power of

Journey” Model. Take a moment, reflect on it, and then
move on to the next page where you’ll record some
initial thoughts about your journey.

Suggestion: Write down your first thoughts and then

move on; don’t spend a lot of time trying to figure out the
“right” answer. Once your mind begins the process,
other ideas will come. Record your first thoughts and
then move on to the next steps. (In Part I, you’ll only
record reflections on the first half of the journey.)
Madison Wittmayer
Madison Wittmayer

The Power of Journey

DEPARTURE: THE JOURNEY BEGINS

The Call to Adventure Frequently in myth & story, the hero/heroine receives a call
– it may be the Holy Grail appearing before the knights of
the Round Table challenging the knights to pursue the
Grail. Or it might be Joan of Arc being called to lead her
army into battle.

How are you being called? What challenge reaches out to

you and calls out to you for a response?

I am being called to make changes in my life in order to

reach my fullest potential and feel a sense of fulfillment.

Helpers & Mentors Once you respond to the call Helpers & Mentors will
appear. Think of Obi Won Kenobe and Yoda as examples.
People who have been “out there,” can advise you about
your journey, provide insight and guidance in your
preparation.

Can you think of any Helpers & Mentors that might help
you respond to your “Call?” Identify the first names that
come to mind.

My educators and my parents show up to guide me and

respond to my call.
Madison Wittmayer
The Power of Journey Continues
Threshold Crossing
Tests and Trials
Helpers & Mentors
Your Next Step: Complete The Life Satisfaction Chart and establish a baseline of where
you are today.
You now cross a Threshold, enter into the dark, the
unknown. It may be symbolized by a dark forest, an
unchartered sea, a dangerous jungle, or outer space. It may
be reflected in a new job, the loss of a job, a marriage, a
divorce, a baby, retirement or …? The threshold may be
guarded by an ogre that doesn’t want you to pass. What is
the unknown into which you must cross? Danger and
adventure await. Beware! Be Aware! Proceed.
As I continue my journey, I enter a world of unknowns where
everything looks blank. I am about to enter a new world of
possibilities.
I’m afraid so. The journey is not without challenges.
Obstacles appear. Roadblocks force us to detour. The
journey is not a vacation but has its tests along the way.
Why is your friend discouraging you? Will you give up?
Do you question your Call? Or is another door opening?
Reflect on possible tests and trials or return later when you
encounter a test or trial.
During my journey, I encounter a pandemic that blocks my
path to new opportunities. Despite these challenges, I will
not give up and will continue on my journey.
Look around you. Are there Helpers or Mentors who may
serve as guides? Is there help you’re ignoring?
As I continue with my journey, new people around me
emerge and serve as guides. At first I ignore their help, but
I eventually let them help me respond to my call.
Madison Wittmayer

THE LIFE SATISFACTION CHART

One of your goals is to identify the level of joy and happiness in your life today.
This Life Satisfaction Chart will help you evaluate your level of
satisfaction/dissatisfaction with 19 life areas. This chart provides you a starting
point for your adventure.

1 = Very dissatisfied

2 = Dissatisfied

3 = Acceptable

4 = Satisfied

5 = Life as I want it

DIRECTIONS: Write today’s date beneath DATE (Today). You will only work
under the column marked DATE (Today). As you review each LIFE AREA,
you’ll circle one number, either a 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5 depending on how satisfied or
dissatisfied you are with that aspect of your life. Circle one number under the
DATE (Today) column for each of the LIFE AREAS. The meaning of each
number is identified above. For example, if you are completely satisfied with how
much your exercise, circle a 5. If completely dissatisfied, circle a 1. You can come
back in 3 months, 6 months, and 1 year to see how you’re progressing.

Complete the Life Satisfaction Chart and move on to the next path on your
journey, The Personal Mission Statement.
Madison Wittmayer

The Life Satisfaction Chart

LIFE AREAS DATE DATE DATE DATE

(Today) (3 Months Later) (6 Months Later) (1 Year Later)

Physical Health
a. Exercise 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
b. Diet 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5

Work/Career 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 6 1 2 3 4 5
Relationships
b. Parents 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
c. Children 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
d. Friendships 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
e. Primary/Spouse 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
f. Co-Workers 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
g. Brothers/Sisters 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5

Education/Learning 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5

Living Environments
a. Geographical 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
Location
b. Home Environment 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5

Spiritual Health 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5

Emotional Health
a. Self-Esteem 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
b. Optimism 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
c. Ability to Feel 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
d. Self-Caretaking 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5

Leisure Time/ 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
Hobbies

Finances 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
Madison Wittmayer

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"Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks
outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakens.”

Carl Jung

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Madison Wittmayer

Personal Mission Statement

Before setting off on an adventure, get clear about your mission. No journey brings much joy if it’s out of
alignment with your purpose or mission. Answer the following questions with the first impressions that come
to mind.

A. What are 3 of your best qualities? Examples: intelligence, determination, kindness, enthusiasm, friendliness,
creativity, toughness, loyalty, curiosity)
1.___I am kind to the people around me._______________________________________________

2.___I am emotionally strong._______________________________________________________

3.___I have the determination to do anything I want to do.________________________________

B. What 3 words, in your opinion, best describe the most important things you do? (Examples: create, parent,
love, challenge, employ, supervise, counsel, nurture, heal)
1._____Love_______________________________________________________________________

2._____Support____________________________________________________________________

3._____Encourage _________________________________________________________________

C. What are the 3 most important accomplishments you could achieve over the next 6 to 12 months?
(Examples: graduate from school, spend 30 minutes a day in quiet reflection, make good grades, teach children,
get a good paying job, spend quality time with my kids)

1.____Take an hour of each day to practice selfcare.______________________________________

2.____Graduate from college with good grades. __________________________________________

3.____Find solitude in my environment. ________________________________________________

D. If you achieved, beyond your wildest dreams, all 3 accomplishments, what 3 results would you see?
(Examples: diploma in your hand, dream job, happy kids, sitting by a river)
1.____Content within myself with a higher self-esteem. ______________________________________

2.____A graduation ceremony and a diploma. ___________________________________________

3.____A living space surrounded by things I love. ________________________________________

E. If you achieved all 3 accomplishments, what 3 feelings best describe how you would feel? (Examples:
powerful, happy, fulfilled, proud, joyful, astounded, secure, successful, elated)
1.____I would feel fulfilled.____________________________________________________________

2.____I would feel satisfied. ___________________________________________________________

3.____I would feel self-assured._________________________________________________________

Madison Wittmayer

PERSONAL MISSION STATEMENT

Next Step: Transfer the information you collected on the previous page to the
appropriate spaces below.

My personal mission is to use my (3 qualities from A. 1, 2, 3) _____kindness_____________,

____emotional strength____________ and _________determination_________________ to (3 most
important things I do from B. 1, 2, 3) ________love___________________________,
____support_______________________, and _______ encourage______________________
so that I can (3 most important accomplishments from C. 1, 2, 3)___practice selfcare_____,
____graduate college_______________, and ________find solitude in my environment.____

Having achieved my 3 most important accomplishments (D. 1, 2, 3), the results I see are
_____being content within myself with a higher self-esteem.______________________,
_____a graduation ceremony and a diploma___________________________________, and
_____a living space surrounded by the things I love.___________________ _________. I
feel (3 accomplishments from E. 1, 2, 3) ___fulfilled_____________________________,
_____________________________________satisfied ____________________________,and
_____________________________________self-assured_________________________about
my accomplishments.

“If you always do what you always did, then you’ll always get
what you always got!” Moms Mabley
Madison Wittmayer

Values
What is important to you? What values guide your life? What beliefs inform your
behavior? Consider how you spend your time and money; your review provides
helpful clues that help you identify what you value. Compare what you “say” you
value and how you actually spend your time and money – the process provides a
“reality check.” Are the words you speak in alignment with what you are doing?

Below is a random list of commonly held values. The list provides examples, but
you can choose from the list or choose your own words. Take a few moments and
identify what is important in your life. Journey across the “Bridge of Values” and
write down your 10 most important values. Remember, these values form the
foundation upon which you walk through life. Choose each step carefully.

• Recognition (respect from others)

• Spiritual Growth/Religious Beliefs
• Helpfulness (to others, improving society)
• Wealth (making lots of money)
• Peacefulness (nirvana, inner harmony)
• Power (authority, control, directing others)
• Achievement (reaching established goals)
• Pleasure (laughter, having fun, leisure)
• Love (bonding, affection, caring)
• Achievement (accomplishment, mastery)
• Promotion (advancing, making progress)
• Adventure (new and challenging experiences)
• Freedom (independence, autonomy)
• Economic Security (steady, adequate income)
• Health (physical and mental well being)
• Cooperation/Teamwork
• Loyalty
• Integrity/Honesty
• Competition
• Education/Wisdom
• Friendship
• Stability, Order
• Fame
• Creativity
• Family Happiness
• Self-Pride
Madison Wittmayer

List your ten most important values.

1.________Stability______________ 6.______Authenticity____________

2.________Love________________ 7.______Self-Respect____________

3.________Freedom____________ 8. _____Compassion____________

4.________Family______________ 9._____Determination__________

5.________Adventure___________ 10.____Health_______________
Madison Wittmayer

MY LIFE DESIGN

Now you are ready to begin planning your LIFE DESIGN. As is true of any
adventure, the planning is part of the fun.

The Planning Process

The Planning Process used today moves from the GENERAL to the SPECIFIC.

The three steps include:

Step A. On line 1 and 2 below, write the two Life Areas you want
to work with today. (You may want to refer back to your Life
Satisfaction Chart)

Step B. Identify 2-4 general goals for each Life Area.

Step C. Identify specific action steps for each goal. The action steps will
answer questions -- When? What? Where? How much does it cost?
Who will join me? (Complete Step C, Part II of Life Design in
Module 6.)

Remember to keep referring to your Mission Statement and Values. Goals need to mirror what
is critical and important in your life. Remember also that you are on the adventure of your own
life, an adventure which can be filled with purpose, excitement, and new experiences. If you plan
what you’ve always planned, you’ll only experience what you’ve always experienced. How can
you do it in your own fresh, unique way?

Planning Process Step A. Write your top priority Life Area on Line 1. Select a second Life
Area and write it on Line 2. In selecting Life Areas, ask yourself -- “What is most
important and most urgent for my attention today?”

1. Emotional Health- Self Caretaking

2. Finances
Madison Wittmayer

Planning Process Step B. Identify, on the next two pages, 2-4 general goals for each of your
two Life Areas. Goals are very general. Action Steps come later (in Part II of Life Design) and
will list the actions you will take to achieve your goals. Here are some examples of Goals for
different Life Areas.

Life Area: Self Caretaking

Goal: Research and identify ways to have more time for myself.

Goal: Identify and plan daily, monthly, annual activities for renewal rest and fun.

Goal: Implement alone time and renewal/rest/fun time activities.

Life Area: Education/Career

Goal: I successfully complete my course of study.

Goal: My study habits and class attendance form the basis of success in
school and my work.

Goal: Interview potential mentors for support in my career development.

Goal: I form a study group that helps all of us graduate on schedule and with honors.

Life Area: Children

Goal: Identify resources (Classes, Books, Counselors) to help me improve my

parenting and myself.
Goal: Create family discussions to identify ways for spending time together
as a family.
Goal: Create time where I listen to what is happening in my
children’s lives.
Madison Wittmayer

LIFE AREA ONE: Emotional Health: Self Caretaking

Goal 1: Find things that make me happy and find the time to do them.

Goal 2: Take care of my gut and exercise daily.

Goal 3: Take time to be completely alone in order to do some self-reflecting

and learn new things about myself.

Goal 4: Start saying no to others, and yes to myself.

Madison Wittmayer

LIFE AREA TWO: Finances

Goal 1: Plan out a monthly budget that will help me save money.

Goal 2: Pay off debt and try not to add more.

Goal 3: Find a new job that pays well.

Goal 4: Read books that will enhance my knowledge in finances.

Madison Wittmayer

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“May the outward and inward man be at one.”

Socrates

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Madison Wittmayer

The Personal Mission Statement: EXAMPLE

If you’ve ever worked on developing a mission statement then you know it can be a tedious,
lengthy process. However, you can create your own first draft of a Personal Mission Statement
within the next few minutes. On the following page, you record three responses for each of five
Prompts. Once you’ve completed that page, you simply transfer each of the three responses to
the appropriate lines on the second page.

Example:

Question: What are 3 of your best qualities?

Potential Answer: Creativity, kindness, and perseverance

You transfer the words “Creativity, kindness, and perseverance” to the next page where it will
read:

My personal mission is to use my (3 qualities from A. 1, 2, 3) “creativity, kindness, and

perseverance” to ___________, _________________, and ______________. You continue
transferring the words from the B. 1, 2, and 3 and so on until you have filled in all the blanks.

Your Personal Mission Statement will read something like this, for example:

My personal mission is to use my creativity, kindness, and perseverance to manage employees, paint
paintings, and love my family so that I can help my team and company succeed, find satisfaction in
my artistic expression, and experience a loving family. Having achieved my 3 most important
accomplishments, the results I see are current employees being promoted and the company more
profitable, my paintings hanging in homes of people who enjoy them, and laughing children and
grandchildren on the beach with me and my spouse. I feel successful, fulfilled, and joyful about my
accomplishments.
Madison Wittmayer

The Power of Journey

As your journey proceeds, you may be experiencing some stirring of the

imagination. Ideas are fermenting and in transition. Questions are arising.
You may even be questioning some of the work you’ve already completed.
If so, feel free to amend and revise or even start over. Allow your thinking
to develop. The best part of this process is that it all comes from you.

You’ve created a Mission Statement, identified Values, and written out Goals.
Before you go too much further, you’ll pause, and examine what you’ve already
completed.

Before you proceed, you’ll want to examine any limitations that you may be
placing on yourself. To do that, (and keeping with the theme of adventure) you’ll
complete a few simple exercises. You’ll enter The Shadow Jungle and, after
completing these exercises, you’ll have an opportunity either to move forward with
the Goals you wrote or re-write them.

The Exercises you’ll complete include:

• Self-Limiting Beliefs
• Identify Your Safari Crew
• “Win the Lottery” or “Asking the Critical Question”
• “Triggers for Transformation”
• “Feedback From Friends”

Once you’ve completed those exercises, you’ll then finalize your Goals and add
Action Steps for each Goal.
Madison Wittmayer

Entering the Shadow Jungle

Every life moves through the Shadow Jungle on its journey—not once, but many
times. Within it, you will encounter the dreaded scourge of all life’s adventures.
With the pungent smell of plant decay filling your nostrils, you will hack your way
through the dense foliage of the near impenetrable jungle mass, only to be attacked
at the most inappropriate moment by
Self-Limiting Beliefs

“Name your limits and they’re yours.”

Richard Bach

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On life’s journey, you travel weighed down with beliefs from by-gone years. Your
caravan packs the remnants of past experience . . . and these experiences (and the
beliefs that come with them) may weigh you down. As you uncover beliefs and
dust them off for a closer look, your goal includes:

• honoring and reaffirming beliefs that still serve you;

• updating worn and outdated beliefs to the level of your current maturity;
and/or;
• replacing self-limiting beliefs, that hold you back, with life-affirming beliefs.

“Whoever authors your story authorizes your actions.

We gain personal authority and power
in the measure that we question the myth that is upheld
by ‘the authorities’ and discover and create personal myths
Madison Wittmayer

that illuminate and inform us.”

Sam Keen

Self-Limiting Beliefs
In India, baby elephants are chained to stakes from
which they cannot break loose. Struggle as they
may, they learn at an early age they cannot escape,
so they quit trying.

When the elephants grow to maturity, the

trainer ties the elephant to the stake with a
flimsy rope. The elephant could break
loose if it tried, but it doesn’t even try. The
belief from earlier times limits what the
elephant does.

Uncovering Self-Limiting Beliefs

Madison Wittmayer

You may call self-limiting beliefs something else—conditions, circumstances beyond your
control or “just the way I was raised.” Whatever name you give the belief or behavior, your goal
is to uncover it (them) and free yourself from those that involve self-imposed limitations. The
following seventeen questions may help you sneak up on some of those beliefs. Not every
answer will represent a self-limiting belief. However, your spontaneous response may provide
some clues.

1. The main reason I will fail to achieve my Goals for Life Area #1 is:

That I am constantly busy with other life commitments.

2. I could achieve all my Goals in Life Area #1 if it were not for (person, or circumstance, or belief):

The self-limiting belief that I do not have the time to take proper care of myself because of all of the
other life commitments that I have.

3. If I fail to achieve my Goals, I will prove that I was right about:

Not having enough time in my day to complete them.

4. The one thing I don’t ever want to hear anyone say about me again is:

That I am selfish, when all I try to do is please other people.

5. One thing I do not like about myself is:

That I don’t put myself first even though I constantly tell myself to.

6. One thing I refuse to accept about myself is:

That I have a hard time accomplishing the goals I set for myself because I make excuses.

7. If only I could have my entire life path figured out, my life would be better.

8. I blame myself for not committing to myself and putting myself first when I need to.

9. If only I could be stress-free my life would be better.

10. It’s not my fault that I have gone through challenges in my life that I had no control over.

11. Some ways I sabotage my own success are: underestimating my own abilities, thinking negatively, and not
sticking to the goals I set for myself.

12. Before I can proceed with my Goals, I need the approval of nobody.

13. Skills that I lack and need to have to achieve my Goals are: determination and optimism.

14. I need to learn self-love and self-commitment before I can successfully achieve my Vision.
Madison Wittmayer

15. I can still hear my Father’s voice demanding that I work hard to achieve my goals.

16. I still hear my Mother insisting that I think positively in order to move forward.

17. Money (the lack of it) may be an obstacle to achieving my goals. I have listed below how the lack of
money will keep me from implementation of my LIFE DESIGN.

a. Lack of money will not keep me from implementing my LIFE DESIGN.

$$Winning the Lottery$$

You have just won $20,000,000 tax free. It has been presented to you in one lump sum. Outline
Madison Wittmayer

what you will do with the money. (Most of us have fantasized about winning the lottery; play
along for a few minutes and write down 3 – 5 ways you would spend the money).

If I won $20,000,000 tax free, there are many things I would do with the

money. The first thing that I would do is help my parents get out of any debt

that they have. The second thing I would do is pay off my debt and put money

into my savings. The third thing I would do is donate money to charities. The

last thing I would do is travel the world.

You’ll use the items you’ve listed above as you move to the next Exercise,
“Asking the Critical Question.”

“Two roads diverged in a wood and I took the road less traveled by and that has
made all the difference.”
Robert Frost
Madison Wittmayer

Asking the Critical Question

Have you found it difficult to think in terms of what you want to create? Most people do have
some difficulty since they received little encouragement to think that way. It can be dubbed as
“selfish, “or “egocentric,” or “thoughtless,” etc. Nevertheless, the heroic journey begins in the
arena of your deepest wants. When you dare to identify those wants, you may discover yet
another challenge.

NEW CHALLENGE: Sometimes the “want” you identify is not the “true want.” It is a symbol or a
clue to help you find what you genuinely want. That brings us to “Asking the Critical Question.”
(Think of yourself as Sherlock Holmes or Hercule Poirot). You have received several clues in the
“wants” you listed by winning the lottery. However, you will not be satisfied until you have
uncovered the deeper truth. You use the “Asking the Critical Question” process and uncover
new information leading to what you really want.

The Critical Question: What will be true of your life after you get what you want that is not true
today?

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Critical Question Exercise:

Take your list from “Winning the Lottery” and identify the result for each item. What will be
true after you get what you want that is not true today? Write the change that will take place for
each item.

• By giving money to my parents, I will relieve any stresses they have and allow them to
live the life they want to live.
• By paying off my own debt and saving money, I will be accomplishing one of my life
goals and I will have life stress and my happiness with increase.
• By donating money to charities, I will be helping people in need and who need the money
more than I do. I hope that I can make an impact on someone’s life.
• By using some of the money to travel, I will be living out one of my life dreams. I will
finally get to see parts of the world that I may have not been able to see before.
Madison Wittmayer

Reflections on “Asking the Critical Question”

Perhaps you can already anticipate the results of the Reflection process from “Asking the Critical
Question.” To help you with your reflections, here’s a story from my experiences mediating
conflict. I learned, in that process, how human beings speak in clues and symbols.

The items you wrote down for “Winning the Lottery” are typically clues and symbols for what
you really want. You weren’t lying. What you wrote down is symbolic of what you want. I’ll
use a simple story:

Johnny Smith is 16 years old. If you ask him what he wants more than anything, it’s a red
Ferrari. He dreams of it, talks about it, and longingly stares at the poster in his bedroom. Let’s
give him what he wants and ask him the “Critical Question.”

“Johnny, what will be true after you get the red Ferrari that isn’t true now?”

Johnny answers: “Well, if I drive up in front of school driving that car, everyone will notice me.
No one even knows my name now, but, will they ever then! I’ll bet the girls will finally pay
attention to me . . . and I’ll bet Becky Jones will go out on a date with me if I had a red Ferrari.”

What Johnny really wants is 1) to be noticed, 2) to have girls pay attention to him, and 3) a date
with Becky Jones. What he talks about is a red Ferrari which symbolizes what he really wants.

You may think, “No, he really wants a red Ferrari.”

No, he doesn’t. Just picture Johnny on a desert island with a red Ferrari and no one to see him.

I understand it takes some willingness and effort to examine one’s self and gain insight, but the
insights can be valuable and even life altering. I simply suggest you spend a few moments
reflecting on the items you wrote from “Winning the Lottery” and what you wrote after “Asking
the Critical Question,” and see what comes up. Here’s the good news -- usually what you really
want, you can do something about today. You don’t have to wait to “Win the Lottery.”

If you have additional questions about this process, be sure to send them to me.
Madison Wittmayer

WORDS
Triggers for Transformation

How do we not only move forward creating what we want, but also face, transform, grow and
change as we encounter our Space Dragons and Ego Demons? One additional way is to pay
attention to our language because words are “Triggers for Transformation”.

The Mirage of Non-Choice

Our use of words can be a subtle way to convince ourselves that we have no choices.

Words reflect a thought

Thoughts reflect a belief

Belief reflects victimization/empowerment

Choose language supportive of desired results, not language which degenerates in victim
mentality.

Victim Language Power Language

I can’t I can
I’m not I am able to
I’m not worthy I am worthy
I don’t deserve I deserve
I should, ought I want
I wish I want
I don’t I know
I’ll try I’m now doing

Beware of comparative words such as “better” and “best”.

To whom you are comparing yourself? No one can be a better you than you!

“The last of the human freedoms- - to choose one’s attitude in any given
circumstance, to choose one’s own way.”
Victor Frankl
Madison Wittmayer

WORDS
Triggers for Transformation

How do you work with Triggers for Transformation?

Primarily, you must raise your awareness of your use of language. To practice, do
the following. Create a sentence that flows naturally from your mouth and then
replace it with a different sentence. For example:

“I can’t handle conflict.” “I can handle conflict.”

Changing the language you use activates the thought behind the words and then
activates the belief behind the thought. So complete one sentence with the “Victim
Language” and then replace it with “Power Language.”

I can’t achieve my goals. I can achieve my goals.

I’m not able to succeed. I’m able to succeed.

I’m not worthy of love. I am worthy love.

I don’t deserve happiness. I do deserve happiness.

I should practice self-care. I want to practice self-care.

I wish I could achieve my goals. I want to achieve my goals.

I don’t know if I’m enough. I do know that I’m enough.

I’ll try to be the best me. I’m now doing everything to be the best me.

Notice how you feel when you change the language you’re using.
Madison Wittmayer

≈≈

"If one is out of touch with oneself, then one cannot touch others . . . only when one is
connected to one’s own inner core is one connected to others."

Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Gift from the Sea

≈≈

FEEDBACK FROM FRIENDS

Madison Wittmayer

This exercise accomplishes two goals. On the one hand, it can help you refine your Goals. The
other factor is this process can help you implement your Life Design. When facilitating this
material with a group, one of the most powerful exercises is having three people go off by
themselves and take turns asking each other questions. One person has their goals in their lap,
one person asks questions and listens to the answers, and the third person watches the non-verbal
language as the first person answers the questions. This exercise is a variation on that process.

Why is it important? It’s one thing to write down your goals; a more powerful step is to have
someone ask you questions about your goals. The questioning takes matters to a whole new
level, both during planning and the implementation phases.

Approach one or more people you trust – friend, spouse, parent, other family members -- give
them a set of questions to ask you while you think about your goals. (You don’t need to tell
them the Life Areas or the goals you’re working on. You simply need to answer their questions
and pay attention to your answers.

Here are the Questions as asked by the participant you invite:

1. Picture achieving your goals. Do you feel any joy or excitement? If not, then why have you
chosen these goals?
I do feel joy and excitement to achieve my goals because I will be fulfilled and content within
myself.

2. Is your intention clear? What is the change going to accomplish? What will happen in your life as
a result of these goals being implemented?
Once I reach my goals, I will finally be able to live without these stresses in life and I will finally
learn how to love myself and put myself first.

3. Are your goals in alignment with your mission statement (purpose) and your values?
My goals are in alignment with my mission statement and values because of my quality of
emotional strength and values of stability and love.

4. Are you committed to your goals? Have you prepared for the obstacles you may encounter? Are
you willing to do what needs to be done?
Yes, I am committed to achieving my goals. I am prepared for the obstacles that I may encounter
by knowing that I can do anything that I put my mind to. I am willing to do what needs to be done
in order to reach my goals,

5. Are you willing to think the thoughts, speak the words, and do the deeds needed to change?
I am willing to think the thoughts, speak the words, and do the deeds in order to make the change
I want to see in my life.

6. Are you gathering support from other people in your change process (conspiracy or breathing
together)? If not, why not? Have you dealt with potential sabotage?
I am gathering the people around me who want to see me succeed in my change process. I do not
think that any of these people will try to sabotage my path.
Madison Wittmayer

Next Step:

You’ve completed a number of exercises that may have raised questions in your
mind about your Goals. Are the Goals you originally wrote the ones you want to
keep? Do you want to rewrite the Goals? Can you make the Goals more
powerful? More joyful? More likely to be completed?

It’s your choice because it’s your Life Design. You are the hero/heroine of your
journey. How do you want it to proceed?

PLANNING PROCESS Step C: Goals & Add Action Steps

Life Area #1:

Goal: Find things that make me happy and the time to do them.
Action Steps
1. Start by researching things I might be interesting in.
2. Pick 2-4 things and try them out.
3. Choose the thing that bring me the most joy.
4. Take thirty minutes to an hour each day to focus on the activity.

Goal: Take care of my gut and exercise daily.

Action Steps
1. Research recipes and make time to cook them.
2. Choose meals that are healthy options but bring me joy.
Madison Wittmayer

3. Meal prep once a week.

4. Take at least 15 minutes a day to exercise (walk, follow a video, etc.)
5. Stay consistent.

Goal: Take time to be completely alone in order to do some self-reflecting and

learn new things about myself.
Action Steps
1. Create a comfortable space for myself.
2. Take out my journal and jot down my thoughts.
3. Think (but not overthink) about changes I want to make.
4. Find solitude within myself.

Goal: Start saying no to others, and yes to myself.

Action Steps
1. Start saying no to things that don’t bring me joy.
2. Stop feeling guilty when I need to say no.
3. Tell myself that it is okay to say no every once in a while.

PLANNING PROCESS Step C

Life Area #2:

Goal: Plan out a monthly budget that will help me save money.
Action Steps
1. Determine my total monthly income.
2. Figure out each expenditure.
3. Create a plan that allows me to save at least 30% of my income.
4. Don’t touch my savings account unless an emergency occurs.

Goal: Pay off debt and try not to add more.

Action Steps
1. Consolidate debt it makes it easier to pay off.
2. Make payments on time.
Madison Wittmayer

3. Pay minimum payment plus $50 in order to pay off debt faster.
4. Don’t buy things that I don’t truly need.
5. Pay with cash.

Goal: Find a new job that pays well.

Action Steps
1. Research jobs that I might be interested in.
2. Apply for jobs.
3. Make sure that the job aligns with my work preference.
4. Don’t settle for less.

Goal: Read books that will enhance my knowledge in finances.

Action Steps
1. Research books that would be beneficial to read.
2. Go to local book store.
3. Select one or two books.
4. Set goal to finish books within a certain time frame.

APPENDIX

The Appendix includes some additional exercises that can be useful in the creation
of your Life Design. They are NOT REQUIRED, but they are available should
you want to use them.

They include:

Scaling the Cliffs of Desire

Doorways to Change

Temple of Discovery
Madison Wittmayer

Scaling the Cliffs of Desire

Change… The “four letter word” that requires six letters. Our tendency is to avoid, deny, or
resist change. However, escaping the Falls of Destruction requires scaling the Cliffs of Desire,
i.e. requires us to change. Our motivation may come from the dear of pain or the power of the
pleasure we received when we create the life we want. No matter what the motivation, we
need to review how we move through change and some of the experience s we can expect.
Madison Wittmayer

Life Design Change Objectives:

Self managed ---- You are empowered to direct your own change.

Interdependent ---- Your do the change, but not without strengthening yourself with support.

Cost effective ---- Most of the doorways for change cost little to nothing to implement.

Change is… “Endurable if it means something - - if it is a part of a movement

toward the desired end. But if it is not related to some large and beneficial pattern, it
becomes simply distressing.”
William Bridges
Madison Wittmayer

“When one door closes, another opens, but we often look so long and regretfully upon
the close door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”

Alexander Graham Bell

≈≈≈
Madison Wittmayer

Doorways For Change

Each of these openings lead you through a doorway where you once encountered a wall. Each
doorway will help you move through the Shadow Jungle or light your way through the Caves of
Self-Deception. Select doorways that serve your needs and your journey. Only you can choose
correctly for your request.
Madison Wittmayer

Temple of Discovery
Having identified what you want to create, you now enter the Temple of
Discovery. Within the Temple, you will implement your Life Design in the
quotidian. The real quest is about to begin. The wizard (your instructor) offers you
some magical tools to assist you as you proceed.

1. The Vision of Joy: Give yourself some quiet time and allow your mind
to gather a clear picture of your successful implementation of your Life
Design. As you picture your successful Life Design, do you see a
“symbol” in your Vision of that success?

2. To My Heroine/Hero, a letter of celebration: Take out a piece of blank

paper and put a date at the top that is 6 months from today. Write a letter
to yourself congratulating yourself for your successful implementation of
your Life Design. Place that letter somewhere you’ll be reminded to
open it 6 months from today.
Madison Wittmayer

"To laugh often and much, to win the respect of

intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn
the appreciation of honest critics and endure the
betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find
the best in others, to leave the world a bit better,
whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a
redeemed social condition, to know that even one life
has breathed better because you have lived. This is to
have succeeded."

Ralph Waldo Emerson