Volume : 5

Issue : 71
E Mail : nandmana@sltnet.lk
www.humanrightsofficekandy.org

A group of six secondary survivors, three Sinhalese and three Tamils

found their way out to Valaipadu a village of 3 1/2 k.m. in the Valaipadu
Kilinochchi District for Trauma Support: a relationship for
connection and mutual understanding with the women headed
families’ (widows ) of the village. Valaipadu is a fishing village. Its
name derived from “fishing in a big scale by laying nets”. There are
300 catholic
families in
the village.
In the
resettlement process the villagers are back in their
original village. As far as the historical evidence shows
there had been 15 families originally occupied, having
their livelihood based on fishing.

The survivor group had a prior training in forming

relationships of empathy, sharing their strengths, listening actively to their stories for trauma support, thereby
promote healing and growth by building relationships among a two ethnic communities of equals.
In listening to their trauma stories, some of the women were unable to
move beyond endless repetitions, Recounting details of what happened to
them and reliving the feelings they experienced during traumatic events.
From 1993 with the war for over 25 years, the war caused significant
hardships for the population, environment and the economy of the people.
They had gone from place to place as the different phases of the war broke
out. They have lost many of their family members when they were moving
from one place to another. The fact that the women headed families find
difficult to cope up is that many of their husbands have been killed when
they went to find some food for their children.

A young woman of 23 years still in tears

when she relates the story
Of many losses she faced during the
different phases of war.
She found by the end of the war in 2005
She has lost her father, mother, husband,
And now she is the bread winner of her son
And all the siblings of the family
There is other “Women empowerment” stories that revels the miraculous power of the coping mechanism of the
women.

I am Arulanandam J. Rani, 34 years old. My husband was killed by the Navy when he went for
fishing. Two of his friends who went with him saved their lives by drowning themselves in the sea.
They say the dead body of my husband may have been thrown into the sea. I never saw his body.

My mother and father are with me. I have 5 children. At the time of his loss my youngest baby was
only nine months, my elder son 13 year old was hurt by a shell fallen on his body, the other boy
been unable to face the existing trauma is dumb even to this day.

My husband was the breadwinner of the family. When I heard of his loss I did not know what to
do? How can I feed eight people in my home? I was a poor illiterate housewife. I had not learnt any
skill to earn a living.

“I must do something to feed my family”. This kept on coming to my mind. Being a catholic I prayed
daily. Then it so happened I was able to get a sewing machine to pay in installments, with courage I
learnt to sew and I earn my living by sewing. I am happy I succeeded. I also have put up a small
boutique. Myself being illiterate my only desire is to give a good education to my children.

It is very encouraging to see almost all the children of the village going to the school. The principal and some of
the staff members come from Jaffna. People are
encouraged by the closeness of the staff to their lives
with their visit to the families and having a close contact
with the problems of the children.

Spirituality is most likely an important element for their

recovery. They gather together around the church for
connection and mutual support. For Women headed
families connection and support of the church keep them
on the move.

“The most common way people give up their power is by

thinking they do not have any”