A Scotsman _______________ (drive) home one night when he ____________

(crash) into a car which ____________________(drive) by an Englishman.

After the Scotsman _____________(recover), he got out of the car to apologize and
___________ (offer) the Englishman a drink from a bottle of whisky. The
Englishman was glad to have a drink as he _____________(feel) rather shaky.
"Go on," said the Scot, "have another drink."
The Englishman took a gulp of whiskey gratefully. After he ___________ (have) 2 more
gulps from the bottle he ___________ (ask) "But don't you want one, too?".
"Perhaps," replied the Scotsman, "after the police ____________ (leave)."

An Englishman ______________ (go) to Spain on a fishing trip. Before he

____________(leave) England he ________________(hire) a Spanish guide to
help him find the best fishing spots.

Since the Englishman _______________ (learn) Spanish, he asked the guide to

speak to him in Spanish and to correct any mistakes.

They ________________ (hike) on a mountain trail when a very large, purple

and blue fly _______________ (cross) their path. The Englishman
_________________ (pointed) at the insect which ____________ (land) on a rock,
with his fishing rod and said "Mira el mosca!"

The guide, sensing a teaching opportunity, replied "No senor...... not

‘el mosca, la mosca'... it is feminine."
The Englishman looked at him, then back at the fly and then said "Good
heavens... you must have incredibly good eyesight."

One Saturday afternoon a grasshopper, a snail, and a centipede ____________ (sit)

around the grasshopper's house ____________ (drink) lemonade.
After an hour they ___________ (run out of) lemonade so they
____________( decide) one of them should go out for more.
The snail said, "I'd go, but I'm kind of slow. Besides, Grasshopper, this is your
neighbourhood so you know where to go."

The grasshopper said, "I don't mind going, but my hopping will shake up the lemonade
and we'll __________ (spray) every time we open one."

So they decided to send the centipede.

An hour or so passed and still the centipede _________________(not

return), so the snail and the grasshopper decided to go look for him.
They got as far as the front door; the centipede ______________ (sit) there putting on his
shoes.

Adapted from http://iteslj.org/c/jokes.html