Generosity Works Better Than Greed

Excerpted with permission from Options not Obligations by Marc Warnke

One of the keys to success in the pursuit of having options in your life, rather than obligations, is understanding the
principle of operating from a spirit of generosity as opposed to a spirit of greed. This means doing business with the
intent of lifting up and fulfilling others through your actions.

Does this mean that you operate at a loss? Absolutely not. You are in business, after all, but every business deal you
put together should be structured so that both parties benefit. It's a smart move business-wise. Give-and-take comes
with operating from this mindset. It's not about expecting others to reciprocate either, it just happens. Help me, and
I help you. What goes around comes around. Make money, spend money, then others make money. I pay it forward,
you pay it forward. It's a big circle.

The full circle, the what-goes-around-comes-around concept, is present in all our behaviors and interactions. If I'm
operating from the spirit of greed to get self-fulfillment in business, those actions will not go unnoticed. When your
business is operated from a spirit of greed, the short-term rewards may be great, but it will always come back to bite
you in the long run. When we operate from a spirit of generosity instead of greed, we try to help our clients, to give
them the best service at the best price, to make an impact, and then, we use a portion of the profit to make a
difference for other people. It's important to align your business practices with your spiritual beliefs because when
you're not operating from a spirit of generosity, you tend to make poor choices.

Criticism Is the Price of Success - Prepare for It and Profit From It

By Michael Masterson
"Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary."
Winston Churchill

One of the most surprising and disappointing things about reaching an important goal is that many people won't share
your happiness when they hear about it. Some will even criticize your achievement.

This has happened to me a lot in my success-driven life. The criticism always hurts - but it hurts less now than it did
when I was younger. Moreover, I've learned to profit from it. You can too.

What's important, I've found, is not the criticism itself but how I react to it. Praise motivates me to do more of what
I'm doing. Criticism - which used to make me want to quit - spurs me to examine what I'm doing and see if I can do it
better.

This happened just recently after I published an article in my Ready, Fire, Aim newsletter (which goes out to ETR's
VIP customers) about the economy. Two of my most esteemed colleagues read it, didn't like it, and chastised me for
bad writing. That set me aback. I consider myself to be a pretty good writer, but they made me wonder if I was
really just a shallow-minded pundit of mediocrity.

After doubting myself for a few days, I set to the task of profiting from their comments. I reread what they said and
made notes on those points I thought were valid. I circulated my notes to Jason, Suzanne, and Judith, my editors.
That began an ongoing discussion about how we could improve Ready, Fire, Aim. And we came up with a few good
ideas.

I then wrote to my two friends who were nice enough to honestly critique my article. I thanked them for helping me
make the newsletter better. And I meant it.
In What Got You Here Won't Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful, Marshall Goldsmith
talks about how important feedback is to success:

"Feedback is very useful for telling us 'where we are.' Without feedback... we couldn't have results. We couldn't keep
score. We wouldn't know if we were getting better or worse. Just as salespeople need feedback on what's selling and
leaders need feedback on how they are perceived by their subordinates, we all need feedback to see where we are,
where we need to go, and to measure our progress."

Goldsmith acknowledges that negative feedback "can be employed by others to reinforce our feelings of failure, or at
least remind us of them - and our reaction is rarely positive." Worst of all, negative feedback can sometimes shut us
down. "We close ranks, turn into our shell, and shut the world out."

When Goldsmith was a child, his mother told him he had no mechanical skills. He went through high school believing
that, and, when he was 18, scored at the bottom of the entire nation in a test given by the U.S. Army.

A few years later, a professor persuaded him to take another look at his mechanical abilities. That's when he realized
his mother was wrong, and he was "just living out the expectations [he] had chosen to believe."

So that might be the first thing to say about profiting from criticism. Recognize that a negative comment about you
or your abilities cannot damage you unless you let it.

Goldsmith says that he wasted years, convinced that he was mechanically inept. But he didn't blame his mother. He
blamed himself. "I was the one who kept telling myself, 'You can't do this!' I realized that as long as I kept saying
that, it was going to be true."

Here are some useful techniques for profiting from criticism.

1. Remember that criticism is the price of success.

As writer Elbert Hubbard said, "Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being
nothing." So if you do something, you're going to be subject to criticism. President Obama gets criticized. Clint
Eastwood gets criticized. Even Mother Theresa was criticized. The more success you have, the more criticism you will
engender. Some of it will be helpful. Most of it will be useless. But don't be afraid of it. It won't kill you. It will only
make you stronger.

2. Dump your failure-support group.

This group includes jealous friends, professional enemies, and habitual critics. These people get their kicks from
kicking you when you are up. They want you to be down where they are. Don't go there. Just ignore them.

3. If you can't ignore your critics, frame your responses strategically.

Sometimes, you won't be able to ignore your critics - if, for example the criticism is coming from your boss or your
family. That's when you need to stay calm and respond strategically.
In Self-Esteem, Matthew McKay and Patrick Fanning recommend a technique they call "clouding." "Clouding involves a
token agreement with a critic. It is used when criticism is neither constructive nor accurate. When you use clouding
to deal with criticism, you are saying to the critic, 'Yes, some of what is on your screen is on my screen.' But to
yourself you add, 'And some isn't.' You 'cloud' by agreeing in part, probability, or principle."
Agreeing in part - finding one part of your critic's comments to agree with or acknowledge.

The Criticism: You're not reliable. You forget to pick up the kids, you let the bills pile up until we could lose the roof
over our heads, and I can't ever count on you to be there when I need you.

Your Response: You're certainly right that I did forget to pick up the kids last week after their swimming lesson.

Agreeing in probability - acknowledging that there's a possibility your critic could be right. The chances may be a
million to one against it, but you can truthfully say, "It's possible you're right."

The Criticism: Starting a business now is a terrible idea. The economy is in the crapper, and you're just wasting time
and money.

The Power of Trust

By Paula Langguth Ryan

What makes you feel safe and personally empowered? I've pondered this question long and hard after the issues of
safety and trust came up in several conversations. I think most of us would say that safety and trust come from a
feeling of being in control of a situation. From not having the rug pulled out from under us, from not being surprised
by events that occur. From being able to trust that promises and commitments are sacred and will be honored. From
being able to keep our carefully constructed "lives" in place, in order.

We often feel unsafe and dis-empowered when something "OUT THERE" changes in our worlds, when commitments
are broken, when promises are not kept. These feelings of disharmony and fear may last a few seconds while we get
our bearings, or they may last months, even years. We may build a case for why we can't be open, why we can't
trust.

Or our feelings of lack around issues of safety and trust may be reflected in the people around us. When we don't
trust others, or we perceive that others don't trust us, it's usually because there's some part of ourselves that we
don't trust. And out of this mistrust grows disharmony and fear.

So, how do we create a greater awareness of Universal Trust? How do we break past this disharmony and fear and
create true inner safety and empowerment? I think we have to go back to the basics.

In kindergarten, we learn basic rules: play nice with others, put away your toys when you're done with them. Then
we grow up and learn other rules. Some of these rules are laid out in standard form, like Robert's Rules of Order.
They are a code of conduct commonly used for meetings and in governmental bodies. These Rules of Order are droll
and antiquated, and based on civility, not spirit.

What would your life look like if you followed the rules all the time? If your first thought was *boring* you're not
alone. But it doesn't have to be that way. Instead of breaking the rules, maybe it's time to recognize that the old
rules are out of date. Maybe it's time to write some new rules.
One day, I wondered what life would look like if we broke the negative assumptions we make and created new
assumptions and based new rules on these assumptions. The result? What I've lovingly dubbed Ryan's Spiritual Rules of
Order (You can find a printable version at ArtOfAbundance.com.) Here they are:

SPIRITUAL RULE #1: You must be personally dedicated to holding the highest consciousness for everyone in any given
situation, no matter what outward appearances may be.

SPIRITUAL RULE #2: You must be willing to own, recognize, embrace and verbalize your fears.

SPIRITUAL RULE #3: You must be willing to speak your microscopic truth with kindness, compassion, dignity and love.

SPIRITUAL RULE #4: You must assume that everyone is doing the best they can at this and every moment.

SPIRITUAL RULE #5: You must assume that everything that is occurring is for the highest good of everyone:
individually, and collectively, whether or not you see HOW it is for the highest good at this moment.

SPIRITUAL RULE #6: You must assume that everyone is operating from a position of love, never from a position of
mal-intent, even if that love is being obscured by fear.

SPIRITUAL RULE #7: You must remember that everything is unfolding in Divine Timing.

Over the next seven issues, I'll explore these spiritual rules with you, one by one. Approaching life with these rules in
mind keeps me centered on expressing my highest self *and* helps me see the divinity in others too. I'll also show you
how to apply each rule to your current financial situation, so you can break through whatever is holding you back
from embracing your abundance.

When we have the courage to let go of our need to control the events in our lives, and release the worry that binds
us to our fear -- that's when we become truly empowered. Read through those rules again and again this month. As
you do so, if you find yourself with questions about the first rule, or any of the other rules, be sure to write and
share them!

The Power of a Thank You

By Robert Middleton

One of the bonuses that comes with the Infoguru Manual is an article about
the power of thank-you notes. One customer, Duncan Shaw, recently sent
me an email relating how this article had impacted his business.

It was so good I decided to turn it into this week's More Clients:

 *

In recent years I have observed an increasing reliance on autoresponders,

aweber tools and other means for small business owners and marketers to
try to leverage their time. This is all well and fine, but this "insert peg in
hole" culture has fostered an impersonal and homogenous experience for
both clients and prospective clients.

And then we wonder why our professional service businesses are treated
like price-driven commodities? Hmm.

Even with vendors I work with only occasionally, I can smell a template
email response a mile away, and it makes me think: What, I'm not
important enough that you couldn't find 20 seconds to send me a personal
email reply?

Anyway, with this in context, the article about Andrea's thank-you note
writing practice hit a nerve (in a good way) and it made me think: Who does
this today? Hardly anyone, of course. I can count on one hand the number
of times I've received a short, thoughtful, hand-written note from someone--
but I can also remember who they were and what their business is, to this
day.

And people forget about the life-time value of a client's business, not just
their first year or two's worth of invoices, so what does this say about that?

About two months ago I started sending daily 2-3 short notes to vendors,
clients, contractors, colleagues, anyone I came into contact with, however
minor the occasion. It's important to "smile as you write", as your article
suggests, otherwise it will seem like some contrived, dashed off attempt at
connecting while trying to do 20 other things at the same time.

But the exercise has had two effects for me and my company so far:

1) In a very unexpected way, it has made me feel better about myself and
my business as a service provider, which bleeds through into the energy I
exude all day long.

To anyone who doesn't think it makes a difference in how you walk, talk,
and carry yourself and your expressions, I would say try this for yourself
and see. I also find myself following through with clients more thoroughly
and attentively, and having better focus and productivity.
I think it has something to do with taking a few minutes to *slow down* and
give someone your undivided attention. We all crave feeling listened to and
acknowledged.

2) On a more tangible level, I have had two important corporate referrals

and increased amounts of business from regular clients to whom I've
dropped notes in the mail (one of them nearly double).

I have also received expressions of true, bona fide human appreciation

from both clients and vendors we work with, whom really will go the extra
mile now. Little human touches in the impersonal "we care, but not that
much" ocean has an exponential effect on people's desire to know, like,
trust, and do business with you.

It simply cements your relationships and builds trust and goodwill.

I want to be clear that while I have become a believer in sending hand-

written notes, the object is NOT to simply garner new business or
manipulate vendors into putting forth additional efforts; if that's someone's
thinking, it will be very apparent and backfire.

The object should be just in doing it itself without expectation of reward or

recognition, and let things take care of themselves.

Hope this is of some interest/help; I'm grateful for your work and mission.
Having been through the Dan Kennedy's and Jeff Paul's of the world of
marketing in earlier years (who know their stuff insofar as making money,
certainly), your services and information products ARE unique and
invaluable.

By Christopher Bauer, Ph.D.

When asked to state our defining or guiding principles, most of us are quick to list
a number of wonderful, virtuous, and relatively predictable sounding ideals. Who,
for example, would not be quick to list "honesty above all else" as a guiding
principle? That is, after all, a cornerstone of who we are all expected to be.
In the real world, however, our actual guiding principles—whether we choose to
admit it or not—tend to be made up of a much less virtuous-sounding, though
equally predictable list. Most of this list consists of ideas or strategies related to
assuring our survival and comfort. Principles like "Don't rock the boat", "Don't
compromise my potential for a raise or promotion", or "Increase the bottom line no
matter what it takes" drive far more individuals and companies than do more
positive sounding ideals.

Remember, though, that these less virtuous sounding principles are actually only
problems if you refuse to acknowledge or change them. As an example, not
wanting to rock the boat, in itself, never actually hurt a company. However,
someone not acknowledging that they don't want to rock the boat - and therefore
not learning how/when to rock the boat despite it being uncomfortable - can have a
very significant negative impact. Reducing ethics risk starts with being honest
about what currently drives you and your organization.

Have you taken the time to honestly assess your guiding principles as well as those
of your company? Have you thought about where your 'real-world' principles may
have the potential to promote unethical behavior, even if unintentionally? Doing so
is one of the most critical first steps towards preventing ethics lapses and all the
damage those lapses can create