A Guide for Meaningful Conversations

“Without the one-on-one, the organization won’t build; it won’t strengthen.” –Elder Dale G.
Renlund, Leadership Enrichment Series, 2016
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What is a meaningful conversation?
A meaningful conversation is a one-on-one conversation between manager and employee in which
they counsel together to accomplish any of the following purposes:
1. Discuss performance and development
2. Align on goals and expectations
3. Give and receive feedback
Meaningful conversations can happen at any time — to provide feedback after a presentation,
highlight a success while walking between meetings, or adjust goals in a formal sit-down meeting. It’s
the content, not the format that’s important. If done in a truly meaningful way, these conversations
can be powerful tools to increase personal development and contribution, strengthen trust and
relationships, and help to accelerate the Lord’s work. needs and time

Meaningful conversations hasten the Lord’s work

The best managers know that regular, meaningful conversations are crucial to increasing their team’s
contribution to the Lord’s work. Research has shown that employees who have regular conversations
with their managers are “2.8 times more likely to be engaged.” Further, it is only through meaningful
conversations that employees and managers realize the value of the Accountability and Talent
Improvement process (ATI) since these conversations provide opportunities to discuss goals, plans,
development and accountability throughout the year. Without the addition of regular conversations
and feedback ATI will bear little fruit.

When to hold meaningful conversations

“Can you imagine [letting] your children do something wrong for a year and not saying anything
about it and hoping that things are going to change?” – Elder Don R. Clarke, Leadership
Enrichment Series, 2013

Hopefully it’s clear by now that meaningful conversations should happen as regularly as is needed to
provide helpful feedback, course correction, and to keep goals and development plans current and
adaptable to employees’ needs. One body of research showed that weekly conversations had a
significant impact on employee performance and retention while bi-weekly conversations gleaned just
25% of that impact. Whatever the frequency, managers should check in at least quarterly with
employees, but hopefully much more often.
How to conduct a meaningful conversation
There are three components of meaningful conversations — invite,
listen and share:
INVITE
1. Invite: Some managers dominate one-on-one exchanges with
employees by being overly instructive or directive. Instead, employees
should be invited to actively participate in the discussion through being
asked relevant, genuine questions that will enhance learning and mutual
SHARE LISTEN understanding. When appropriate, the Spirit should also be invited
through prayer. God cares deeply about the progress of His children,
and He will bless managers and employees with revelation as they ask
inspired questions and consider appropriate goals or improvements. After all, nobody
cares more than a parent about the development of his or her children.

EMPLOYEE EXAMPLES MANAGER EXAMPLES

- Do you have any feedback for me on that
presentation?
- What things could I focus on to perform better in
my role?
- As I set my goals, what are the two or three most
important things you’d like me to accomplish this
year?
- Based on the changes you mentioned, do my goals
still align with our biggest priorities?
- I’d like to receive guidance from you on a regular
basis. Could we set up ongoing one-on-one
meetings?
- How do you feel that presentation went? What
went well? Is there anything you would do
differently?
- How is the new assignment going? How can I
support you?
- What do you think we could do to solve this
issue?
- What do you feel inspired to do? Are there
some areas you feel you need to develop?
- What feedback do you have for me?

“Jesus was a listening leader. Because he loved others with a perfect love, he listened without being
condescending. A great leader listens not only to others, but also to his conscience and to the
promptings of God.” —Spencer W. Kimball, “Jesus: The Perfect Leader,” 1979

2. Listen: All of us listen at varying degrees based on whether we are multi-tasking, distracted,
or listening through the lens of our own personal biases. Managers should strive for a higher
form of listening—listening to discern. Elder Bednar taught that discernment “encompasses
seeing in another person the capacity that perhaps that man or woman has not seen in himself
or herself [and includes] the ability to help them find and develop their capacities.” Listening
to discern will help managers see employees through God’s eyes and understand what is truly
needed for each individual.

3. Share: After inviting and listening, managers will have a better understanding of how they
can contribute their own perspective, experience, and expectations. Managers should counsel
together with employees in sharing feedback on performance, development or gaining
alignment around goals.
 An essential part of “Share” is to provide feedback and expectations. Some managers struggle
to provide candid feedback in a Christlike or “nice” culture. Others may be too candid and
potentially hurtful. Whatever the situation, President Spencer W. Kimball taught, “Because
Jesus loved his followers, he was able to level with them, to be candid and forthright with
them.” If we truly love each other and wish to further the Lord’s work, we will provide the
feedback we each need to improve and we will do so in a loving way. Positive feedback is also
vital in helping employees know which behaviors they should continue, and that their
contributions are valued. Managers can foster an ongoing culture of feedback by inviting and
graciously receiving feedback from their team members.

Finally, managers can benefit from utlitizing the research-backed approach of “feedforward”
instead of relying primarily on feedback. Feedforward doesn’t conflict with a person’s self-
image and so is received better and is more helpful in improving performance vs dwelling on
past behavior. Below are some examples of feedforward vs. feedback.

FEEDBACK FEEDFORWARD

1. “Carol, your presentation to the Leadership
Council was too long. Can you please make
those more succinct in the future?”
2. “Jonathan, the latest report you submitted had a
number of typos. Can you be sure to proofread
your report next time?
3. “Sofia, in a recent meeting you told the client
that we could meet a certain deadline, but you
didn’t understand all the facts. Next time please
don’t agree to any deadlines until you
understand the big picture.”
1. “Carol, the Leadership Council has asked that
presentations be brief and focused on a few vital
points. Ahead of the next meeting, will you
please plan to focus on the key facts and finish
in ten minutes?”
2. Jonathan, I’m working with the team on
maintaining the quality of our reports. Before
submitting reports, will you please be sure to
proofread for any typos or factual errors?
3. “Sofia, I’m trying to manage the product
pipeline for our team and I’m asking each
member of the team to check the product plan
before committing to any client deadlines. Can
you help me with that?”