People who have been through psychotherapy or counselling will recognize the feeling

of introspection that Chapter 2: The Untruth of Emotional Reasoning: Always Trust Your

Feelings invokes. This chapter challenges the reader to reevaluate their feelings with riveting

discussions concerning topics like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), microagressions, and

more.

As usual, the chapter starts off with a quote and an anecdote. This time, it is a quote

from Epictetus, which the authors mention could easily be replaced by a quote from

Shakespeare or Milton – signifying that the topic of emotional stoicism has been the subject of

many great works. They all seem to draw into one conclusion which is aptly phrased by

Lukianoff and Haidt as “feelings are always compelling, but not always reliable” and as such,

they must be subjected to introspective questioning.

CBT is introduced with the metaphor of the elephant and the rider. In this metaphor, the

emotional side is the elephant; the rational side is the rider. Being the reasonable part of this

metaphor, the rider often believes that it is in control. However, if you have ever seen an

elephant in comparison to a man, you will know that the former can and will easily overpower

the latter. People might believe that they can reason their way out of an emotional kerfuffle, but

in the end, emotions always win if they try to counter it with reasoning. So what then must be

countered against emotions if not rationality? The answer is a simple form of “talking back”.

Essentially, this is what CBT is. Talking back to the part of one’s brain that is emotionally

distraught or distorted. When one is feeling as though their friends are sick of them, it will be of

no use to wrestle with this elephant, but it might be helpful to ask oneself, “Did my friends

outwardly tell me that they are sick of me?” It is a very simplified example of CBT, but this

strategy of coping with emotions is based on the core belief that psychological problems are
based on unhealthy ways of thinking and must unlearned. So instead of wrestling with the

elephant, it might be more helpful to talk to it.

Another interesting topic delved into in Chapter 2 is the concept of microagressions.

Derald W. Sue defines microagressions as “everyday slights, indignities, put downs and insults”

specifically those that are flung towards marginalized people. It is important to note that some

microagressions are unintentional. Think of a risqué joke a coworker may have said that made

you feel uncomfortable but made other people laugh. The intent of the joke was not to make you

uncomfortable, but to make people laugh. Lukianoff and Haidt insist that the speaker in this

scenario does not necessarily intend to be harmful or hostile towards the minority which he or

she have slighted. This section carries on the idea from the beginning of the chapter that how

people react to the experience is more important than the experience itself. In facing

microagressions, a person can either be offended, or simply brush it off. However, it must also

be acknowledged that microagressions come from a place of ignorance. In the same way we

are held accountable for our reactions, other people must also be held accountable for whatever

microagression they might utter.