Fitzgerald 1

Danielle Fitzgerald

Professor C

English 1201

May 6, 2022

What can couples do to make long distance relationships last?

It all began in 2002. I went to an out-of-town event with a group of friends and there he

was standing 6’5 rounding out to be about 320 lbs. with the most beautiful pearly whites. I never

thought I would approach anyone; however, I could not resist. As I built up the nerves to walk

over to him, I gladly downed my glass of wine to give me a little more courage and off I went in

his direction. To break the ice, I complimented his hat he was wearing and from there we spent

the rest of the evening getting to know one another. Before you knew it, my friends were ready

to head back to Columbus but not me, I wanted to stay. We exchanged numbers and those 48

minutes back to Columbus felt like a 10-minute ride because we talked on the phone the entire

time. After that initial meet we continued to stay connected to the point that our friendship

evolved into a relationship in no time.

Since then, we had been dating, and it evolved into a relationship. We got along so well it

felt like we had known each other all our lives. In 2004, I was in a really bad car accident, which

killed our communication a bit. But because he adored me and I him, we found a way to regain

our communication. What is the motivating factor for long-distance relationships?

Most people get valuable intellectual and social experiences from their time together.

Establishing a romantic relationship is an important part of social interaction. People put a great

value on intimate relationships in their life when they felt they have met their soulmates.
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Long-distance relationships have been defined in a variety of ways in prior research.

Relationships developed across long distances appear to be the absolute antithesis of what we

consider to be the average lifestyle. In life, various activities arise in connection and interactions

between humans. It would help if you were connecting with and having a good time between

parties, late-night talks, vacations, and social outtings.

According to Bergmann, not immediately apparent to individuals is the possibility that

you are missing or concerned about your spouse, who might have been miles or kilometers away.

There's no reason to call it quits and chuck up the towel because you live thousands of miles

apart.

Gower, Katherine, and Adrienne Baldwin-White reported that 75% of undergrads had

been involved in a long-distance relationship. It is at a certain time in their lives. A recent

Cornell survey revealed that 25 percent of college students believe themselves presently involved

in some long-distance relationship. The respondents were, on the median, between the ages of 18

and 21: Being bare of 21 years old. They had spent courting for almost two years until they

decided to be married. They had already been residing away for the past 17 months. In the study

by Lumen Learning, it is easy to get caught up in the bad aspects of a long-distance relationship,

particularly for college students already dealing with a slew of life changes. Students face

various problems throughout their college years, including determining what they should be

doing with their lives after graduation, establishing their independent adults, completing tests,

dealing with financial insecurity, and other issues (Malone). Maintaining your relationship with

your spouse when you're adjusting to your new beginning might be challenging. Nevertheless,

primarily, you decided to go to college to get a degree and improve your future. Yes, personal

connection is among your primary concerns, although your education is the top one on priorities.
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If a major project or exam is approaching soon, you might have to devote all of your attention to

it instead of your companion. Remember that you're spending a fortune on your study; therefore,

you would not want to throw your future in peril by making a mistake (Omar).

Various researchers conclude what might be the motivation of long-distance relationships even

though it is arguable not being a valid answer for the research question.

Happily ever after? Having a beautiful future might lead to having a beautiful daughter,

but having a beautiful girl cannot lead to having a beautiful tomorrow. It is dependent on the

availability of time and affection. No one can prevent you from falling in love with someone,

whether now or in the future. According to findings from research on the elements that

contribute to the continuation of long-distance relationships, connection happiness, closeness,

and degree of agreement, which measures how much partners agree on topics, are all positively

linked with partnership sustainability (Lumen Learning). Researchers Gower and colleagues also

discovered that the higher the effort put forward by dating partners to preserve their connection,

the longer their relationship remained stable. The investigation considered long-distance partners

who remained together again and long-distance spouses who separated for over nine weeks. It is

based on their attempts to keep their relationships, such as the handful of times the partners have

seen one another and the max times the partners dialed one other over a week. However, there is

a particular period during which you must go through the educational process.

The chase of love at a young stage. Various researchers came to different conclusions on

the existence of love and education simultaneously. Some stated that education is something that

will forever be with us. That it's something, we will not be able to replace in our lives.

Scholarship, academic success, engagement in campus events or organizations, community

interactions, and cognitive well-being are the four. Nevertheless, there must be a delicate
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balancing act for college transition to be effective, and long-distance connections may impact

them (Bergmann). Therefore, love does not last for a lengthy period. Your education prepares

you for a profession that would offer you confidence and self-determination. As a result, I say

that learning is more vital, as stated by Bergmann. If your love will not grasp this, he isn't worth

your time and attention. Studies have revealed that long-distance relationships harm academic

achievement and the degree of difficulty students consider their studies. Establishing a

connection with your significant other at home might interfere with your academic pursuits. In

the first year, isolation is often the catalyst for feelings of homesickness. Research shows it

interferes with academic performance by interfering with the ability to pay attention as well as

lowering emphasis and concentration levels. However, trying to "sustain" a long-distance

relationship isn't a good idea if you want to be in a healthy relationship (Gower). The stress of

adjusting to a new institution and way of life may swiftly damage these bonds if they are not

managed with care and dialogue. They may sabotage among the most significant moments of

your life in the wrong hands."

Anchor to studying! While you are continuously reporting about your day to your

substantial other, the quality of your personal experiences diminishes significantly. When we are

in a genuine crisis, some seek supportive care from our relationships (Bergmann). However, the

absence of bike storage beside California Hall does not need a lengthy grievance to your

substantial other –tell a buddy about it. Homecoming blues may be so debilitating for some

students that they decide to drop out of school. Social adjustment is an important indicator of

positive college life, like academic and extracurricular activities. Students who obsess about

what they left behind at home may find it challenging to integrate into the campus community

(Lumen Learning). As a result of having a hard time fitting in, pupils are more inclined to rely on
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their family and friends for support. Students who have a hard time transitioning to college's

social environment tend to reinforce their ties to their families, which might interfere with

forming new friendships at school. Social isolation and loneliness deteriorate when college

connections fail (or do not establish at all) while friendships with persons outside the university

strengthen.

Long-distance relationships in university have a mixed record regarding their effect on

mental health. Students tend to dwell on it as a way of establishing a rite of passage to avoid

mental disorders. The prevention of "risky conduct," including the use or misuse of alcohol or

drugs, and managing mental health issues, like chronic depression, are all part of being well.

Some studies have shown that college students in a steady relationship are much less likely to

drink than those who are not (Malone). However, more recent studies have found no significant

variations in alcohol consumption depending on relationship status (Gower). Yet another study

found that women in a long-term relationship, whereas in college, had lower symptoms of

depression than those who were not (Malone). In contrast, another found that men and women in

a loving relationship during their first year after college had higher psychological distress than

those who were not.

When people think about what causes long-distance relationships to be tough, the absence of

face-to-face interaction is usually the first thing people think. Nevertheless, it must be mentioned

that now in non-romantic relationships, geography does not play a role in determining

relationship pleasure (Lumen Learning). Closeness was shown as a non-essential feature for

relationship happiness, implying that interaction effectiveness is given considerably more

consideration (Omar). Hence, the findings on what influences the effective interaction and how

time will be spent together affect anterior romantic relationships, especially in the long intimate
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relationships, are not quite as conclusive as those on what influences relationship satisfaction are.

The findings of what could result in significantly lower relationship fulfillment are continuous.

A student will face several problems linked to their academic success and college transition in

college. New factors are added to the mix when a person enrolls in college while still in a long-

distance relationship. While some findings suggest that those in long-distance relationships may

have similar or higher feelings of consistency, fulfillment, and trust than those in anterior

relationships (Stoner). Even though others suggest that challenges may be magnified when in a

long-distance relationship as contrasted to an anterior relationship (Lumen Learning). Research

on long-distance romantic relationships between college students revealed that 41.5 percent of

participants felt that distance terminated or deteriorated their relationships (Bergmann). Although

distance does not harm relationships, the perception that long-distance relationships are less

secure has raised feelings of uneasiness in long-distance partnerships (Malone). Long-distance

relationships are fraught with pressures, not the least of which are the social stigmas. Long-

distance relationship obstacles, both predicted and encountered, have indeed been divided into

three main categories in research: external stressors, time allocation (Omar), and vitality.

External stresses are difficulties that arise outside of the partnership and are not always caused

by the relationship. Consider the following scenario: If a person in one's support networks

network somehow doesn't accept the relationship or its long-distance aspect, they are forced to

choose either their relationship or the social circle (Stoner). Another obstacle that both the person

and the couple would have to overcome is financial hardship. Traveling to visit one another

incurs expenditures, which are generally difficult for college students to manage. Couples have

been shown to have lower positive feelings and sympathy for one another when confronted with
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financial difficulties (Stoner). Even though either spouse does not directly produce them,

external stresses may significantly influence how partners feel about one other.

Conclusion

Although it was originally claimed that only half of emerging people moved away to college

(Malone), recent figures indicate that about 70 percent of young adults attend college the

subsequent semester. A long-distance relationship in college may be a nice opportunity for both

couples if they are handled properly. Implementing the suggestions provided above is a positive

start in the correct way that will further improve your relationship even when you are separated

by distance. Even though college students are researching long-distance relationships, this would

not imply that their romantic partner is also a conventional or residence college student. Various

perceptions are considered as to what might be motiving college students to undertake long-

distance relationships even though this cripples their learning habitat. Is it worth to have a long-

distance relationship for the cost of one's education and future? In my opinion, there are a lot of

opinions to put into merit before evaluating college students who strive to pursue long-distance

relationships.
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Works Cited

Bergmann, E. "Advice from a formerly lonely college student." The New York Times (2018).

Gower, Katherine, and Adrienne Baldwin-White. "Healthy romantic relationships: attitudes and

perceptions of college students." Violence and victims (2020).

Lumen Learning. "Attraction And Love | Introduction to Psychology." Courses

Lumenlearning.Com, 2022,

https://courses.lumenlearning.com/wmopen-psychology/chapter/prosocial-behavior/.

Malone, Dana M. From Single to Serious: Relationships, Gender, and Sexuality on American

Evangelical Campuses. Rutgers University Press, 2018.

Omar, J. "Protecting the learning space: the case for the regulation of staff-student relationships

at university campuses in South Africa." South African Journal of Higher Education 33.2

(2019): 123-141.

Stoner, Michelle, et al. "What parents don't know: International students' romantic relationships

in the United States." College Student Journal 53.1 (2019): 42-46.