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“I said what I said, I meant what I meant, I said what I meant!”
Edited by: Viviana Vega Torres
BREAKING NEWS: The king of pop has rose
from the dead!
By: Destiny Winn
Michael Jackson has been accused of faking his own
death as a publicity stunt. Mr. Jackson was sited at
an undisclosed location off the coast of Bora Bora by
american singer Akon. The two artists were close
friends and apparently have been collaborating on a
huge comeback performance in 2020. Michael
Jackson has sold 13 million albums since his death.
In the five years prior to his death from 2004-2008,
he sold a combined total of only 4 million albums.
Which is less than 30% of his total sales since his
death. This shocking news was leaked by an
anonymous reporter who obtained the information
by hacking into Akon's personal iPad. The plan was
for Michael Jackson to make a surprise appearance
and perform at the 2020 super bowl half time
show. Fans are both outraged and excited and the
news has gone viral. Over 50,000 plane tickets have
already been purchased from die-hard fans who
want to explore Bora Bora to reveal Michael's current
whereabouts.
Secret Formula Exposed!
By: Viviana Vega Torres
Here yee Here yee! Mr. Krabs secret formula
EXPOSED. Have you ever wondered why there are
no more crabs in bikini bottom? Well, now is the
time you get to find out. An all exclusive
interview with the one and only PLANKTON! Yes,
PLANKTON! He finally got the real secret formula
and the main ingredient is CRABS. SpongeBob
SquarePants is one of the main suspects in this
whole chaos. He is known for making 13 million
dollars for the Krusty Krab and a lovable sponge
indeed. The Krusty Krab has been going strong
for 2 decades now, but will this be the end of the
Krusty Krab? Ever thought about why Mr. Krabs
was the only crab in bikini bottom, well now we
know... Mr.Krabs kills his own kind! The
restaurant is also shaped like a crab trap....
coincidence I THINK NOT!! But, his mom
Ms.Krabs was the only crab alive in existence yet,
we haven't even seen her in any more episodes...
interesting. In a recent episode Mr,Krabs said "so
that's how I taste like" a major evidence in this
case that confirms that he indeed is killing his
own kind! Stay tuned for the next article coming
out tomorrow morning. Did Mr. Krabs kill his
own kind?
Teacher: "Which book has
helped you the most in your
life?"
Student: "My father's check
book!"
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KYLIE AGAIN! Really? By: Isabel Curbelo

Is it true? Is Kylie Kardashian really pregnant Again!? Not with just one but twins! Oh,
and it doesn't stop there folks because we have to know who is the
father? Well kylie recently cheated on Travis with her Security Guard
so either one could be the father. How we know? Well, we spotted kylie
with a box that says "paternity" right before she threw it in the
mailbox. Who knows we could be wrong and it could be a completely
different person. Kylie does like to get wild. We will keep you updated
next Thursday so, watch out! We will be bringing in the heat.

Spooky Neighbors Reporter: Haileigh Bell

The Kardashians move to the same neighborhood as the Addams family, Morticia
was seen hanging out with Kim Kardashian. It is not a surprise to see the two ladies
hanging out with one another. Both families are
tight knit and loaded with money. Morticia and
the Kardashians could practically be mistaken
as sisters with many resemblances. From the
long black hair to the long nails and don't forget
the love for their clothes. Which family loves to
spend more money? The Kardashians seem to be
fond of the mysterious family next door. For
This Photo by Unknown Author is Halloween the families decided to dress up as
one another but during the trick or treating, Gomez Addams was spotted giving
money to trick or treaters alike it was candy. The Kardashians had to one up them
and started to do the same. We know where to go for Halloween next year! Only
imagine what that sight looked like. Let's see how long this friendship lasts with all
the drama the Kardashians are always involved in.

In Manhattan near Central Perk, Monica Geller opened the new restaurant that
she had always dreamed of named “Little Italy”. This restaurant serves the
classics: spaghetti and meatballs, chicken parmesan, garlic knots, pizza, and
even house-made Italian soda. This Italian style cuisine caught the attention of
many celebrities.

Short Story By: Tiffany Nelson

Celebrities such as Cardi B, Kylie Jenner, Chance the Rapper, Seth Rogan, Brad Pitt, and
even Sylvester Stallone. Cardi B posted on her Instagram a photo of the garlic knots with
the caption “okurrr” followed by the tongue emoji. Even Kylie Jenner posted about
Monica’s food on her snapchat saying that “the chicken parmesan is bomb” and she will
definitely be returning frequently. Also spotted in the newest hot spot was T-Pain with a
mystery girl and now begs the question, does his girlfriend know? Well, why don’t we save
the tea for the café…Monica’s friends and brother: Joey, Rachel, Chandler, Phoebe, and
Ross were also in attendance for grand opening night. This new “Little Italy” has made its
mark in Manhattan and seems to have a bright, delicious future ahead of itself.
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MCR BACK IN ACTION! Forever?

Guess who’s back from the “dead”? Yes, folks! You heard it right here! My
Chemical Romance is finally getting back together after their breakup in
2013. The band just announced their reunion show on Halloween (I mean,
what other day would they announce it on?!) When Interviewed on November
1st about their L.A. reunion show, front man Gerard Way responded, “Black is
dead. We are no longer calling it 'The Black Parade', we’re actually coming
back with 'The Pink Parade' because real men wear
pink so expect a lot of pink at our new show. We’ve
been inspired by Nicki Minaj and Taylor Swift this
time!” Tickets for their upcoming show on December
20th at the Shrine Expo Hall in Los Angeles, California
have already been sold out! Fans express their
demand on the band’s official twitter page for a U.S.
Tour and even a World Tour next year! “We’re very
grateful for our fans and being able to sell out our reunion show! Maybe the
Pink Parade will come to a city near you!” Mikey Way added, “No more
Skeletons, no more black!! Just a lot of pink and pink flamingos!” Fans
rushed in onto social media, only to speculate that a new album would follow
after this reunion show. A rumor began to circulate that the band is recording
a song featuring the one and only, Nicki Minaj after revealing about their
"Pink Parade" comeback. Minaj came out with an album called "Pink Friday"
back in 2010 and could be behind their pink obsession! Stay tuned, we'll find
out more!

Buy 1 Get 1 50% Off valid only in store: Must have boughten
item at the store. Can only be used once. This is a coupon not a toy. If used cannot be

used again. Redeem at store.

90 Day Fiancé is leaving people and them in confusion! By: Sandra Galvan
90 Day Fiancés stars are in quite the sass pool of drama this morning as it is discovered that none of
the couples actually live together! "They're just actors" says one camera man, "They just come to the
scheduled sets and read the script." Thousands of invested fans are crying at the outrage of finding
their favorite couples may not be couples at all! We've kept the camera man’s name hidden for their
protection. According to other sources they record most episodes in just one day. "Sometimes they
hang out after work, but they just leave." Sources also claim that all the big drama filled scenes have
always been improvised scenes with just a one-word sentence pulled out of a hat. "I don't really like
kissing [ ] their breath always stinks" Says one female actor. She asked us to not reveal their names. At
the time of posting this we received calls from our sources to take down the story (but we won’t).
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Keanu Reeves Finer THAN EVERRRR!! By: Noelle Young

That’s right lady, gents, and non-binary pals, Keanu Reeves was seen leaving his
Northwestern Hollywood home this evening wearing a full-length black leather cape. According to
our anonymous sources, it can be confirmed Reeves only leaves the house at night and is always
wearing his long leather cape. Could this be the fashion and lifestyle of a stylish bachelor or is there
something more than meets the eye? There has been many accusations of seeing Reeves in all
black no matter the time of year. Other sources claim they have never seen him out in the day.
Directors begrudgingly have been using cgi sunlight for all of Reeves scenes. The Matrix was shot
completely in the dark and lights were added later in post-production. He notoriously has not aged
a day since Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. One craft table worker swears Keanu hissed when
he offered him some garlic bread. What do these coincidences all mean? We all want to know, is
Keanu an ageless vampire? We enter the Addams Family home to further understand this
inquiry. Morticia Addams had nothing but good things to say about how much Keanu has grown in
power, which further supports our theory here readers. Keanu is also well liked by Fester and
Gomez. They both feel Keanu fits in perfectly in the Addams household and wonder why my paper
has sent more reporters. Curious. The Addams sent me to the cellar for some more wine but the
door seems to have locked behind me. I swear I just glimpsed Keanu’s red glowing eyes looking
back at me from the farthest corner.

Gluten NOT free, Am I RIGHT? BY: Chloe Lepore

We have all heard about it. We have all seen the commercial. It is sometimes seen as common sense.
We KNOW how Oprah Winfrey feels about bread, or at least we thought we did. Oprah Winfrey LOVES
bread. She has bread every day. No one has questioned Oprah about her passion for bread.... until
now. Recent photographs were released that were taken outside of Winfrey's home on trash day in
her bustling neighborhood. Those photographs showed loaves upon loaves of bread being dumped
into a dump truck from her garbage cans. These photographs warranted a further search into
Oprah's private bread life which has provided us with a horrific conclusion. Oprah does NOT love
bread. You could even go as far to say that she loathes loaves. Our research showed multiple trash
cans surrounding Winfrey's home filled to the brim with baguettes, bagels, and brioches. These
starchy items were never touched; just boughten by Winfrey herself and immediately thrown into
the garage cans. One of our reporters actually snuck onto a recent taping of Weight Watcher
commercial with Oprah as the star. The reporter stated, “There was bread everywhere around
Oprah, except inside of her mouth." Who do we trust if we can't trust Oprah? What will life turn into?
We dug deep into what Oprah really eats every day and the answer will shock you. We have reached
out to Winfrey in hopes she will give some sort of explanation but have yet to receive a response.
Check back in next week to find out what food she ACTUALLY eats and how she is going to try to
redeem herself from this!

TOO HOT to be related! BY: Tiffany Ferraro

At last our questions have been answered, and the rumors rang true! Nick Jonas, 1/3 of the Jonas Brother's band, is NOT
blood related to the Jonas'! Rumors started spreading in late September when photographers caught Nick pulling out a
DNA test kit from his mailbox. Assumptions were made that he was just testing to see his nationality percentages-
WRONG! News leaked that the Jonas Brothers put a pause on their world tour, but for what reason?? A few weeks later
our team spotted Nick leaving the tour bus with a suitcase and headed for the airport. Official news was given when Nick
Jonas himself tweeted this- "You can only be so sure of who your family is, until you take a real DNA test. #NoMoreJonas"
The hashtag #NoMoreJonas has been trending worldwide for 5 days now. Questions are pouring in- Are the Jonas
Brothers done for good? Is Nick adopted? What do Joe and Kevin have to say for this? More news will be on the way as
soon as anything is heard.