Leslie Avila

AP Language P1

Ms. White

30 September 2020

I believe…

Humans are not perfect and need to figure out that they are working on themselves every

day. I believe that I am a work in progress, still being a teen, and moving into the idea that I will

become an adult. Everything that has happened has changed me for either better or worse.

Growing up as a kid my parents told me that there is only one chance to get life right, even now I

am still reminded. Being told by people that there is one right way to do something and that is

the only way to do that specific thing is frustrating. When people grow they are figuring out what

they want, who they are, and what they want to be. The realization of this comes at different

stages of life. At the age of eleven, the question of whether girls or boys was my preference

popped up more. It was new, being eleven and knowing that my preference was both boys and

girls was surprising. Around this time my mother began to ask about who took interest in anyone

and whenever she asked the response was no one. My mother always told me if there was any

interest in girls, it was wrong. This caused a lot of conflict between myself and my mind. After a

few years of hiding it, she discovered I liked both men and women. She denied it and so did my

dad. My mother told me it was a phase, something that I was making up to seem trendy. Since

then she has not admitted that her only daughter is part of the LGBTQ+ community. Sometimes

with all the doubt set into mind, the thought that my preference may lean into both men and

women wanders in my head, although this wandering question is in my mind, it lets me know

that I am figuring myself out. With this in mind, there are ties between the family that could be
better. Since being out I’ve tried creating a bond with my mother, but with little effort done by

both of us, the only real known connection that can be pointed out is that of mother and daughter.

The fear that consumed me, the one that kept me from talking to my parents about my sexuality

shows that there is no healthy relationship. The relationship presented between my mother and

me was never strong enough to have us share such things such as what I’ve liked and wanted to

do. The relationship that represents us is more of she will take charge and I follow as to not cause

any conflict between us. Knowing that the relationship with my mother is not the ideal sort of

relationship that most people would have, I believe that it can improve. With enough work into

the relationships with my family, the connections we have can become better and stronger. It is

something to pursue, the better the tie the better the life. I believe that I can work to be the best

person possible and have better relations with my family.