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Dean Jorrel Gonzales

Professor Kirk Talib-Deen
ENG 100
2/18/2022

My Anxiety

It is difficult to grow up in the Philippines. Individuals want you to have a better life,

whether you are born poor or wealthy. You should do well in school, make new acquaintances,

and drive people away who you do not like. A person's humiliation and dread are increased when

they make an undesirable error. Others are likewise judgmental, speaking out about anything

they see or hear. False rumors are throughout the community as a result of someone's talk about

someone they believe to be foolish. A pretentious individual who believes they are superior

based on their expectations and expertise gained from incomprehensible writings on the internet.

In addition, anytime they receive compliments, whether positive or negative, a horn sprouts in

their head.as they try to be humble. This is the source of my anxiousness. As I entered my first

elementary school, a private Christian institution, my anxiety increased. Because they educate so

badly, the teachers there are dreadful, or at least the most of them are. They want you to answer

perfectly in their perspective. In fact, if you don't respond, they'll humiliate you in front of the

class. Furthermore, they regard pupils like their children, providing love and care, while also

being legally obligated to "correct" them, which lead to power abuse. There was a period in my

own life when I felt ashamed in front of the entire school. Before class begins, we must perform

a morning school ritual in which we begin the day with prayer and make the vow to our school

and country in front of everyone. All of the pupils assemble on the basketball court, where they

are arranged by year level and section. Students are meant to be in charge of all of those

activities. Every day, a different student is selected to conduct the rites. I was once given the task
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of performing the school pledge. I witnessed pupils making mistakes with their promises and

being embarrassed by their friends' laughter. Because the majority of pupils are still unfamiliar

with the school pledge, they just stand there with a microphone in front of their mouths. I was

just standing on the basketball court watching the students do it. Because of what I had

witnessed, I was frightened when it reached my turn to make the pledge. I'm afraid that what

happen to others may happen to me. It did, in fact. After one of the students completed praying,

he handed the microphone to me and I recited the pledge while shaking. I thought I was doing

okay at first since I was standing completely still and couldn't feel anything. However, I began to

witness students in queues lowering their heads and suddenly chuckling. We returned to our line

after concluding the morning ceremonial so that we may proceed to class. And there, in the back

of my mind, my friend whispered to me that I was shaking my right hand and that they couldn't

understand what I was saying because my voice began to slur and my right foot started shaking

as well. I felt my spirit drain into my body as I told my pals this, and I was troubled. I began to

consider how these pupils regarded me. Is that pupil mentally challenged? For the rest of my life,

I was scarred by this occurrence. And every time I give a speech in front of a group of people, it

reminds me of the event that terrified me. That anxiety is still with me today. I am worried and

hesitant whenever there is an incident that requires me to actually talk in front of a class or a

group of people to express my views or ideas. I'm not sure what I should say or do. Is it possible

that I'll insult someone? Is it possible that I'll pass out? Those are my thoughts whenever I have a

panic attack. I became deeply invested with my own thoughts.