RelationSHIFT/// Series Notes

Cross Current Church • Pastor Mark Wargo • June 6 & 12, 2011

RelationShift #1 Start Fighting For Your Marriage and Stop Fighting In Your Marriage. It’s easy to fight in your marriage, just focus on their imperfections. When arguments break out, things escalate quickly Q1 Q2 Q3 Q4 Are you fighting to just stay married or fighting to keep passion alive? Are you more about reconciliation or more about being right? Are you continually questioning your marriage? Are you a source of encouragement?

Men - Do you speak well to your wife and about your wife? When you dog your wife, you dog yourself! Women - Do you encourage your man? Every man needs encouragement. RelationShift #2 Focus On Your Responsibilities Rather Than Your Rights “My marriage will go beyond my imaginations when I focus on my responsibilities rather than our rights” Get realistic expectations! Everyone comes into marriage with unrealistic expectation. Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— Proverbs 12:4 A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones. (like cancer) Create atmosphere of: Tenderness and CompassionSong of Song s 1:2 says “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, for your love is more delightful than wine.” Husbands and wives are to rejoice in each other’s love both romantically and sexually. Comfort- Be a source of comfort. Not conflict! Connection- Are you looking for ways to connect with each other? Men- If you offensively plan times, She will plan times with you...

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RelationSHIFT/// Series Notes
Cross Current Church • Pastor Mark Wargo • June 6 & 12, 2011

Relationshift #3 Build up your spouses uniqueness instead of tearing them down. My goal is to help Tracee blossomLet your spouse be who they are. It's always in love, but it can be done through: Encouragement, iron sharpening iron Be the change you want to see. (you want more love, then give more love) The whole premise to We Heart This City - Be Proactive Get your Sexy back! (NLT) Ps 139:14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous--how well I know it. Relationshift #4 View (your) marriage through the God’s eyes rather than through your friends, sitcoms and movies. (AMP) Heb 13:4 Let marriage be held in honor (esteemed worthy, precious, of great price, and especially dear) in all things. And thus let the marriage bed be undefiled (kept undishonored); for God will judge and punish the unchaste [all guilty of sexual vice] and adulterous. If we can see what God sees, then we can do what God says. Do you have a vision for your marriage? (Amplified) Proverbs 29:18 Where there is no vision [no redemptive revelation of God], the people perish. Get a vision, ask God for a vision for your marriage and roll with it. Do whatever it takes. If you don’t, then the trap will come. God has a vision for His bride (the church) - Eph 5- to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. Do you have people in your life that a further along? (NIV) Proverbs 15:22 Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.

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RelationSHIFT/// Series Notes
Cross Current Church • Pastor Mark Wargo • June 6 & 12, 2011

The first thing the heart does is pump back into itself. If the heart doesn’t take care of itself, it can’t take care of the rest of the body. So take care of the most important first. God loves marriage and your marriage is worth fighting for. He knows its a lot of workso do it! 2 Lies that people say... That will never happen to me The Accomplishment Lie If only Esau could have some stew. The grass is greener... because its above a septic tank or because their working on their grass and yours needs grubbex! spots all over, etc. Your Desperate Landscape Makeover 70% of second marriages fail. What are you willing to give up for it! Genesis 25 Jacob and Esau!!!! Your birthright is your wife, not the person at work who is (NIV) Gen 25: 27 The boys grew up, and Esau became a skillful hunter, a man of the open country, while Jacob was content to stay at home among the tents. 28 Isaac, who had a taste for wild game, loved Esau, but Rebekah loved Jacob.  29 Once when Jacob was cooking some stew, Esau came in from the open country, famished. 30 He said to Jacob, “Quick, let me have some of that red stew! I’m famished!” (That is why he was also called Edom.  31 Jacob replied, “First sell me your birthright.”  32 “Look, I am about to die,” Esau said. “What good is the birthright to me?”  33 But Jacob said, “Swear to me first.” So he swore an oath to him, selling his birthright to Jacob.  34 Then Jacob gave Esau some bread and some lentil stew. He ate and drank, and then got up and left.   So Esau despised his birthright.

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