See how sample essays can help you

Read this original essay written by me. Then look at the answer submitted as a comment. It’s a
great example of how the system can work.

See how the learner essay

Follows the basic 5 paragraph pattern of the model essay

Uses the same sentence structures

Borrows words and phrases

See the original version:

Read my model IELTS essay

It is certainly true that the more people nowadays do not have a close relationship with their
neighbors and that this has weakened communities in our cities. This is probably due to a
combination of our more mobile society and the nature of new building developments and is a
problem that will require better planning policies.

One main cause of this change is the trend for people to move home to find work. This mobility
means that there is less chance for people to put down roots in a community and establish
relationships with their neighbors. If, for example, a person moves to a new city once every five
years then it is most unlikely that they will form lasting relationships where they live.

Another important factor is that when people move into a new area, they often live in apartment
blocks and not houses. This matters -because these blocks do not have common social areas
where people can meet each other in the same way as is possible in more traditional housing
estates. It is possible for people who live in these new high-rise buildings never to see each
other, still less get to know each other well enough to form a bond.

Any solution to this problem will probably involve local government adopting planning policies
that are focused on the community. While it is unlikely that anything can be done about social
mobility, it is possible for local authorities to encourage a greater sense of community by
ensuring new building developments have social spaces where people can meet each other
regularly. These could include green spaces where children can play together, local markets and
community halls.

My conclusion is that there may be nothing to be done about social mobility, but it is possible for
local government to foster a greater sense of community by ensuring new developments are more
community friendly.

Now see learner version – it borrows and adapts

It is certainly true that the more people nowadays do not have a close relationship with their
neighbors and that this has weakened communities in our cities. This is probably due to the
change in work patterns and entertainment culture and is a problem that will require better
planning policies.

One main cause of this change is city dwellers’ daily working patterns. This means that the more
citizens in the metropolitan areas are inclined to work longer and often commute for over one or
two hours. This is remarkable because the more city people spend most time at the workplace,
the less they absolutely interact with their neighbors.

Another important factor is that there is a change in how city people spend their leisure time. As
the advance in technology seems to be apparent, watching TV, playing video games and surfing
the Internet have replaced our traditional entertainment culture, such as going camping and
playing conventional games with their neighbors. It is possible for young people who are
addicted to new industrial entertainment devices never to talk to their next doors.

Any solution to this problem will probably generate the effort of local governments to adopt new
policies that are focused on the communities. It is possible for governments to encourage
cooperation to create new regulation which do not allow employees to work longer, and for local
authorities to establish a lot of clubs where residents can socialize each other. These could, for
instance, be social sports match, local markets and community halls.

My conclusion is that due to the change of working patterns and individuals’ leisure habit, a
sense of bonding with neighbors have weakened. However, it is feasible for firms and local
officials to foster a greater sense of community by ensuring new development are more
community friendly.
How to use the sample essays for vocabulary

One way to use these samples is to find vocabulary you can use for yourself. This vocabulary can
be divided into:

• Topic vocabulary – specific vocabulary relating to the topic of the question

• Structural/organizing vocabulary (e.g. “One point to note is...”)
• Academic vocabulary

How to use the sample essays for essay structure

Another way to use these essays is to see how an IELTS essay is structured:

• Note how the introduction addresses the question and leads into the main body of the
essay
• Identify the main point of each topic paragraph
• Note how the topic paragraphs link to each other (do they Present similar or contrasting
attitudes?)
• Note the functions of the conclusion: to summarize and/or present the answer to the
question

How to use the sample essays for paragraph structure

Note how each paragraph focuses on one main idea and how that idea is expanded using
examples and reasons.

The process of writing an IELTS essay

This is a brief note to guide you through the process of writing exam essays. It looks at each
stage of the essay writing process and gives you practical tips and exercises to help you improve
your exam writing skills.

• Quick overview lesson on the different stages of writing an essay in the exam
• Understanding the question
• Planning the essay
• Identifying your position in the introduction
• Organizing your content paragraphs
• Writing the conclusion
• Reviewing the essay
 The process of writing an IELTS essay

The key word in the title of this lesson is process. The idea is that if you want to write a
successful exam essay, it helps to think of the essay not just as a product but something that is
produced as a result of the process of writing. If you miss out on one of the stages of this process,
then the essay itself may not work. To get this right, it helps to understand the different stages in
the process of writing and what you want to achieve at each stage of the process.
And so, what you will find here is

• a little bit more about why I think it helps to concentrate on the process of writing an essay

• a suggested process with explanation about what you should think about in each stage

• advice on common mistakes that can happen if a stage in the process is missed out
• a practice exercise
I should add that there is no “magic formula” here. This is just one process that I believe
Works for IELTS essays. You may be familiar with other processes. That’s fine. The smart
candidate will adapt what they read here to themselves.

Why writing should be a process – avoiding two very common problems

1. Incoherence – essays that do not fit together

If you think of your writing as a process, then you are much more likely to go through all the
stages of an essay (step 1, step 2. step 3 etc.) and to recognize the importance of each part of an
essay. This way you are more likely to make your writing coherent. If, however, you think of an
essay as a whole product, it is much easier to miss out a vital step and the essay as a result
becomes incoherent.

2. The wrong essay – an essay you already know – or the wrong question

The danger with pre-planned essays is that they don’t answer the question. You sit down and
start writing an essay which is already in your head and not one that answers the question in front
of you.

Alternatively, you may get a question type that you are unfamiliar with. In this situation, it helps
to have a routine or process you can rely on. You can still answer the question, even if it seems
to be a question type you don’t know. Learn the skill of writing an essay, learn the process of
exam essay writing and life becomes easier.
 The pre-writing process

In many cases, this is where things go wrong, and this is the part of the process that gets
forgotten in the heart of the exam. There is always time for this part of the process – it’s not
something that should be automatic and “forgotten”.

Stage 1 – read and understand the question

Many “good’ essays go wrong simply because they don’t answer the question that is being
asked. All IELTS essay questions have a precise question that needs to be answered. If you fail
to give time to reading and understanding the question, you are most unlikely to answer it well.
A possible problem here is that some candidates may come from an academic background where
it is enough to write about the general topic within the question. That doesn’t work in IELTS. To
avoid this common mistake simply make giving enough time to read and understand the question
part of your writing routine.

Common mistakes

• You get an essay topic; you have written before. You write the same answer. The question is
different.

• You write about a general topic, not the question itself.

• You simply misunderstand what the question is asking you to do.

Stage 2 – think – don’t just plan, really think

I could call this stage in the process “Plan”. Here I prefer the word “Think”. The danger with
plans is that they may be ready-made, and they may not fit the question in front of you. I prefer
the word “Think” because it is more likely to get you looking at the question in front of you and
deciding how you can answer it using your language, knowledge and experience at that moment.
Part of the point is that you should treat each different essay as a new essay. You can borrow
structures/ideas/language from essays you have written in the past, but you need to make certain
they apply to the question in front of you. That means thinking not just about what to include but
what not to include. Your ideas must link together to form a whole – that requires more thought.

Common mistakes

• The ideas and examples are fine, they don’t relate to the question as it is asked
• You start writing and then halfway through you realize that your essay doesn’t make sense – it’s
too late to start over

The writing process

I think it can help to divide the writing process into 3 to reflect the 3 parts of your essay. Each
part of your essay does a different job to do, so why not treat each part of the essay as a different
stage in the process?

Stage 3 – write an introduction – look both backwards and forwards

The intro matters for various reasons. Not the least of these is that it is the first thing the
examiner reads. Get it wrong and you have made an immediate bad impression. That’s not good.
Another point to focus on in this part of the process is that the intro is the link between the
question and your answer. In this stage of the process, I suggest you need to ensure that you are
looking back at the question (to make sure that you are writing about the right thing) and
forwards towards your answer (that anyone reading knows what you are talking about).

Common problem to be avoided

• You don’t identify the question correctly

• It’s not clear what your position to the question is

Stage 4 – develop your ideas in the main body – be clear about what you think and explain
it

To me, this stage of the process is slightly different, and it requires you to think in a different
way. The idea is that you don’t just need to give an answer to the question: the answer needs to
be coherent. This largely means two things. Firstly, you need to make sure that your ideas are
clear – one main idea per paragraph. You also need to be able to explain those ideas and show
why/how they relate to the question.

Common problems

• There’s too much detail and it isn’t clear what the main idea is
• The ideas aren’t supported with reasons and examples
• The ideas are good, but they don’t relate to the question
 Stage 5 – summarize the ideas in your conclusion – make sure your essay is a whole

No essay would be complete without a conclusion of course. The writing skill is slightly
different here too. I would suggest that it is different because it is a reading then writing skill –
you can’t very well write a conclusion until/unless you have read your essay. This is because
your conclusion makes your essay complete by going back to the introduction and reflecting the
question there and also looking back to the main body and picking out your main points there.
It’s different writing skill because you are trying to say as much as possible in only a few words
– that is what a summary is!

Common mistakes

• sometimes the conclusion doesn’t get written – that means you haven’t written an essay
• sometimes the conclusion doesn’t match the content of the essay – or, even worse, it doesn’t
answer the question

Stage 6 – go over what you wrote

The reality of exam essays is that you only have one chance to get it right. You don’t have time
to write it once and then improve it – as you would with a piece of real academic writing. That
said, it is important to check what you write. My personal suggestion is that this stage of the
process gets repeated during the entire writing stage – do not leave it to the end. That’s almost
certainly too late.

A practice exercise – you can learn more from rewriting an old essay than writing a new
essay

This is boring perhaps, but it is a real learning exercise. Find an essay you have already written.
Write it again. The idea is not so much to correct mistakes in your old essay, it’s to be aware of
the process of writing. It works to take an old essay because you already have ideas and words
for it. You don’t have to worry so much about content (the what) more about the process (the
how).

• Concentrate on each phase of the process – ask yourself the question “what I am trying to do
now?”
• Don’t worry about timing too much – it may even make sense to have a cup of tea between each
stage