Foundations For Marriage 2

Courtship/marriage foundations
Matthew 7:24 -28
Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine and doeth them I will liken him unto a wise man,
which built his house upon a rock and the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew,
and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock. And every one that heareth
these sayings of mine and doeth them not shall be likened unto a foolish man which built his house
upon the sand: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that
house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it. And it came to pass, when Jesus had ended these
sayings, the people were astonished at his doctrine:
When you take two pieces of wood and join them side by side, then you glue and clamp them together
with pressure until the glue dries, a joint is formed which will not come apart. A proper glue joint cannot
be broken apart. Usually the wood will split in a place other than where the joint is made when you
force them apart. This is the picture God has given us of marriage. Jesus said, “Wherefore they are no
more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined (a strong glue joint) together, let not man
put asunder” (Matthew 19:6). Marriage is very serious and holy in the eyes of God. A couple should not
take lightly what God has established. That is why it is vitally important to start and establish your
courtship and subsequent marriage on the right foundations. These circumstances include things like
how you met and the nature of the relationship you immediately embarked on. Just like it is important
for you to know God on a personal level for you to understand and know Him for a fulfilling relationship,
you also need to get to know the person you are courting/ marrying in order to fully know and
understand them. Hence it is important to become friends first. This is the time you discover each
other’s likes and dislikes. You also discover shared interests. As you move from friendship to courtship
you need to realize the importance of the relationship being Christ centric. (Remember you must never
have a relationship outside Christ, even your emotions must go through Christ first.) This is the stage
where you set and establish ground rules as well as discuss important issues such as how you will
manage finances, where to live, and agreeing on principles that will guide you in all areas of your life
together eg marriage relationship is not just a two-way relationship. It is a three-way relationship.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “A threefold cord is not quickly broken.” As each individual draws closer to the
Lord, the couple draws closer to one another and the differences are met by the Lord. As the Lord is
placed first in each individual life and His divine order is sought, He can work out situations man deems
impossible. It is also important to know and acknowledge that God is the head of the husband, the
husband is the head of the wife and the wife is the head of the children. “But I would have you know,
that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is
God” (I Corinthians 11:3).
It follows then that the ministry of prayer is about laying and digging a foundation and in this case the
foundation is for a successful marriage. Marital disasters and failures don't happen by accident, they are
a result of the little or no investment that you put on the foundation of the marriage when you were
single. You can marry a person who will later change to be bad, you may marry the wrong person, but if
you prepare yourself and put the right foundation, you will still run your race and fulfil your purpose
despite having a troublesome spouse. But if both of you fail to fulfil your purposes, then you are both
responsible for that outcome. That's why it's most commendable to work at BECOMING the right
person than looking for a right person, because when you are the right person, you will fulfil your
purpose, and even when the wrong spouse leaves, they will go knowing and eventually testify that that
you tried to influence them with the light of God but they refused. So the blame to you will be there, but
it will be to a lesser extent. If your foundation is wrong or fake, the durability of what you will build on it
is very slim and short.
A courtship founded on the Word gives birth to a marriage that is founded on the Word that is marriage
premised upon the Rock. When two people, who are believers of the same things and a doers of the
Word not hearers or talkers only they are a house built on a rock. Those Singles who are not doers of
the Word, Jesus says they are like a foolish man who goes into a place with sand, he never dig down ,
and in the next day he's on the window level , in the third day the roof is finished. Remember building
on sand is going into marriage because of infatuation, pregnancy, competition, age, money, talents fame
or carnal worldly merits The stronger you want your marriage to be and the longer you want it to last
the more that you have to invest into the foundation The most costing part of a strong building, is the
foundation and the most important of the right foundations are... Divine guidance, Soul winning and
Purpose.
Divine Guidance/Appointment
If you get married because God showed you the spouse or because your man of God by the Spirit chose
a husband or wife for you... Your foundation is strong because God is the foundation of your home. Oh,
the joy and sweetness of having someone for life who you know that he or she is God chosen! Of course
you will have things to work out, of course that person will not be perfect in everything, but the fact that
she /he is God chosen makes it a perfect foundation. Blessed are they who are patient enough to wait
on God for a spouse. God is a perfect Matchmaker. Of course He doesn't have someone born for you but
when you ask him. He will get you someone to match you!
Soul winning
This is a rare foundation yet a very strong one when you are in church and you admire a brother or sister
because you see in them the same desire that is in you to win souls. When you have walked together for
a long time winning souls and have identified yourselves to be of like passion. And have approached
each other for that sore purpose it is a relationship built on the rock. You can’t beat it, you can’t move it.
It is a marriage of soul winning giants. All the others areas will be corrected easily because these people
have the heart for souls like Christ. Their differences will be very few. Their marriage will be identified
and characterized with sacrifice, humility, obedience and perseverance. He who has learned the art of
soul winning is a first degree marriage material. The heart of a soul winner is a loving heart, it’s an
interceding heart, it’s a patient heart, it’s a missionary Christian heart, it’s a persevering heart. And there
is no way a real soul winner can fail in marriage. And it is God's number one marriage. It is heavily
defended by God himself because it’s built on Him. He is its very foundation
Purpose
This is a marriage built by two "builders" who have understood their purpose, and are getting married
only for the purpose of helping each other to fulfill their purpose. These ones have their purposes well
defined. These ones have not looked on beauty, health condition body structure, virginity test, age
difference, DNA test to choose each other, they have only looked on the person's ability to help them
fulfill their purpose. These are two people who only reason for matrimony is driven by the sense of the
urgency of purpose. Such is an everlasting foundation. The winds, rain and floods cannot move this
house built on Purpose! You are a builder and your marriage is a building. The bigger you want your
marriage to be, and the more the purposes you want your marriage to serve, then, the stronger the
foundations have to be.

Prayer Points
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its
own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for
prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away

 Father, we pray for victims of sexual and physical abuse. Heal them, Lord. Take away the scars
and bitterness that have been left by these experiences. May they not be carried into their
marriages and relationships.
 Father, we pray that you would raise more and more God-fearing men and women within the
church.
 Open our eyes and guide our choices of mates.
 Dear Lord, may our desires for marriage be noble.
 Protect us from negative relationships, and protect others from us, where we may be their
detractors.
 May our shared desires and vision bring us together in Christ and through him.
 Lord give us loyal partners to walk through life with, they have become rare.
 Grant us grace to go the extra mile for our loved ones
 Lord give us the grace to pursue a worthy life partner.
 Show us value, and make us valuable to potential mates.
 Teach us to identify and appreciate one another’s value.
 Cast away any person that would like to separate marriages.
 Any wedges that seek to separate men and women you brought together, let it be removed in
Jesus’ name.
 No man or woman will separate us! We speak to strength in marriages in Jesus’ name
 Lord teach us to not dwell on one another’s shortcomings but to love through it all.
 We will love fervently, as Christ loved.
 May our love cover the faults of our loved ones
 Lord, may we be brought together by reverence to you.
 You are the foundation of our relationships.
 Anything that we haven’t built on you, may it not stand.
 We choose to build on the rock that is Christ.
 We submit to our wives and husbands for your glory, oh Lord.
 May our marriages be established and unbreakable.
 Lord raise strong marriages among us, marriages that the next generation can look up to and
aspire to.