Contents

An Unusual Interview .............................................................................................................................. 4

The Hidden Infiltration of Daesh ............................................................................................................ 6
Meningitis............................................................................................................................................... 10
The Angel of Death ............................................................................................................................... 12
The Return ............................................................................................................................................. 15
Mother .................................................................................................................................................... 17
The Eyes of a Child ............................................................................................................................... 19
Father ..................................................................................................................................................... 21
Death and Satan .................................................................................................................................... 22
The Public Treasury .............................................................................................................................. 24
Those Two Nurses ................................................................................................................................ 26
Devilish Laughter .................................................................................................................................. 29
The Source of Light .............................................................................................................................. 32
The Review of Life................................................................................................................................. 34
God’s Tests ............................................................................................................................................ 36
Marriage ................................................................................................................................................. 38
Jinn ......................................................................................................................................................... 40
The Boy Next Door ................................................................................................................................ 41
The Office Manager ............................................................................................................................... 43
Life .......................................................................................................................................................... 45
The Retribution for Deeds .................................................................................................................... 47
The Smallest Act of Oppression .......................................................................................................... 49
A Life for a Life ...................................................................................................................................... 51
The Army of Angels .............................................................................................................................. 53
For God Alone ....................................................................................................................................... 56
The Guardian of Our Time .................................................................................................................... 58
The Impact of Invocation ...................................................................................................................... 60
Difficult Days ......................................................................................................................................... 63
Days without You .................................................................................................................................. 66
The People's Rights .............................................................................................................................. 68
Ease After Difficulty .............................................................................................................................. 70
In Conclusion ........................................................................................................................................ 72
A Look at the Review of Life After Death ............................................................................................ 75
We would like to thank the efforts of all those who helped in translating this book, in
particular, Hoda Fakhari.
An Unusual Interview
It was Wednesday the 3rd of June in the year 2020. I had planned to leave the house in the
morning to do something different. I glanced at my phone and suddenly remembered his
message from yesterday! I looked at the message once again.

It read, "Salam, I read the book Three Minutes of Judgement Day. It's so similar to my own
story..." In our next chats, he said that he's currently hospitalized. I thought that today, rather
than going to my friend's office, it would make more sense to gather the necessary materials
and set out to the hospital.

Within moments, I put my decision into action. As I arrived at the entrance of the hospital, I
thought to myself, "Perhaps now he's not feeling well. I wish I contacted him before coming." I
called him immediately.

He answered warmly, "Salam brother, I'm waiting for you on the fifth floor of the hospital. I knew
you would come!"

When I entered the room, I saw he had prepared all the conditions for the interview! He said,
"Today they brought me to this isolated room with two beds. They removed the other patient
from this room as well. Everything’s ready. I believed it was the work of God. I knew you would
come so we can share what the servants of God should know."

I turned on the recorder and we began in the name of God. Despite the constant interruptions to
the interview due to the complications of his illness and the presence of medical staff, we
gathered and recorded most of the information by evening of that same day. It was of God's
favors upon me that I was given the opportunity to get to know a sincere servant of His.

He shared beautiful details and memories from a very touching near-death experience. He
spent ten days sojourning away in the other world and witnessed many truths that are relayed in
verses of the Holy Quran and in religious traditions (ahadith). He had also read the book 'Three
Minutes of Judgment Day' and on many accounts, his story was similar to the narrations of that
book. This great personality had encountered multiple near-death experiences, each lasting a
significant amount of time. He brought forth an ocean of intriguing incidents and spiritual
lessons.

He agreed to record his memories under the condition that they were published anonymously
due to a number of reasons, one being his position as a security official.

He mentioned an interesting point about the reviewing of his actions. He referred to his
personality and said, "I passed by very easily in this world. The wealth of this world held no
importance to me. If I were to loan someone money and that money was not returned, it didn't
bother me in the slightest. I lived comfortably in this world, never stressing over it, despite the
fact that my hardships and problems were not few. However, God treated me very kindly and
compassionately on the other end of life and in reviewing my deeds. My record was evaluated in
just a second, much faster and perhaps differently than what was narrated in 'Three Minutes of
Judgement Day'.”

“However, through these experiences, I witnessed some things that could solve problems for
people of faith. I spent ten nights in hospital in the worst of conditions. Each night, God
introduced me to a different realm and secrets of the world of the living! Even though six years
have passed since, and my life during this time was hit by a storm of events, I wanted to narrate
this information for the sake of God's satisfaction, perhaps it has a positive impact on the life of
a servant of His. I'll leave the details of the hospital, doctor's name, and my file in your hands so
you can verify the validity of these claims."

I reached out to my friends in the mentioned hospital and evaluated his medical records. He
was hospitalized for ten days and spent the majority of that time in a coma. I sent the content of
the book to a religious scholar who specializes in the field of resurrection, and continued with
the project after verification.

I met with his department supervisor and we reviewed the information offered by the narrator.
After the completion of the book and before publication, he also reviewed the content and, with
the removal of a few security details, confirmed it in its entirety.

During the book review in the ministry of culture and Islamic guidance, some contents were
edited or deleted and ultimately the present book was produced.

The work was finalized. Our goal in narrating the memories of this forgotten soldier of Islam and
the Islamic revolution is to not lose sight of the path and only consider the satisfaction of God in
all matters.

Finally, I state to all the dear friends and supporters, “Narrating near-death experiences is
merely a confirmation of life after death and the reader should not perceive the details of all the
narrated memories and topics from these individuals as representations of reality because there
are no criteria for evaluating the truth of these experiences. However, any experience and
memory that goes against religious teachings is undoubtedly a lie and fictitious and any
experience that does not exist in Islamic teachings and goes against reason is only perceived
as a possible event.”
The Hidden Infiltration of Daesh
It was the beginning of the year 2014. I was working in a national security office at the time.

Our main focus was on armed groups that had plans to act on Iranian land.

Therefore, naturally, most of our presence was around the southeastern and western borders of
the country.

On one hand, due to the nature of our work, we would examine the state of countries in the
region, particularly Iraq and Syria. The chaos in Iraq raised many questions. We were certain
that the U.S. was behind this unrest.

On the other hand, the establishment of the Daesh regime in Syria and their close relations with
the western provinces of Iraq multiplied the danger for the central Iraqi government.

There was a chance of an attack from the Salafi and radical Daesh forces in certain regions of
Iraq at any moment. These events took place towards the end of spring of that same year, and
Mosul and a few northern Iraqi cities fell.

At that time, I never imagined the Iraqi army and central government would have such a weak
response in the face of such an event.

It later became clear what was going on behind the scenes. We received some reports that
Daesh, with the dollars of Arab reactionaries, was buying off and thus attracting forces from
other Muslim countries. They equipped themselves with the most advanced weaponry and
trained their forces for suicide missions.

I would watch the news every day. Tens of thousands of African, Central Asian, and Eastern
Asian soldiers joined them. Daesh was even able to attract forces from neighboring countries
like Lebanon and Palestine!

They quickly reached the borders of Iran and Diyala, Iraq.

One morning, when I arrived at work, an incomplete report reached me that secret meetings
were being held in cities and villages on the border, and they had sent Iranian youth on route to
Syria and Iraq on the pretext of jihad in the way of God and with the hope of money!

We went to the cyber unit and began an investigation. We realized what we had heard was in
fact true.

The Salafis and Wahhabis quickly expanded to the lower classes of society and in border
regions, even the eastern border of Iran. These concerns were sent to local agents who
followed through with them.
Soon after, I began a mission with two colleagues. Was this matter really as widespread as it
appeared?

We spent two weeks on our mission. We visited four provinces. I was not content with the local
security reports and said, “I have to investigate it myself.” That's why I went to the bordering
villages in undercover clothing and got busy with work, using the surveillance skills I had
learned.

Some state officials were completely heedless. Their work simply consisted of writing repetitive
reports and sending them to the central office!

A few of them had never left their offices and were never present amongst the people; yet they
presented everything as fine and dandy in their reports!

From what we heard and researched, we realized that the situation was very complex and
worse than I expected!

Daesh took advantage of the poor culture and economy of the border regions to spread Salafi
and Takfiri beliefs of jihad in the area!

I received numerous worrying reports from local sources and some colleagues native to the
area. A few peculiar people were going back and forth to mosques of some villages in the name
of Quran sessions!

Through great struggle, we managed to infiltrate into some of those sessions. The beginning of
the sessions were Quran lessons, but certain people would arrive afterwards and speak about
the importance of jihad in the way of God and its blessings.

Then, they spoke about jihad in the land of Shaam and the government of the Islamic Caliphate
and the necessity of joining it.

Finally, they would speak of dollars and money to lure those with financial problems.

It was announced in those sessions that a significant number of people had already been
dispatched from Iran!

I even received a report that, in one of the village mosques, classes for physical conditioning.,
weapons, terror, and even the creation of bombs were held.

They would display Daesh's films from their devices.

The next day, I had a long discussion with the security supervisor of the region. We completed
our surveillance and set out to the next region. I witnessed the same things happening but even
more complex.

The next region was the same, as was the next.

There was no time to write up a report. I quickly traveled towards Tehran.

I had to notify the relevant parties as soon as possible. We had begun an advisory presence in
Syria and some of our security forces were martyred there, unaware of the fact that the enemy
had infiltrated our home country and was busy recruiting forces!

However, the weak economic state of the border regions and the lack of attention to material
and spiritual growth in the area also played a role in this regard.

I spoke with one of the people who had been dispatched to Syria via social media. He said,
"They promised me a monthly salary of 3,000 dollars and said that if I died, the salary would go
to my spouse and family!"

My God! How come no comprehensive report of all this Takfiri activity has been sent to
Tehran?!

Daesh had been working in Iran in an expansive, however secretive, manner for several
months. They even selected "governors" in various regions of our country for the people to
pledge allegiance to!

It was unbelievable—through one of the Daesh promoters, I was able to meet one of those
governors in a Western region of Iran. He encouraged me to also participate in jihad in Syria!

I went through an overwhelming amount of spiritual and mental pressure. I wanted to arrive in
Tehran as soon as possible and report what I had seen and heard.

On the other hand, my wife had been diagnosed with cancer at that time and was undergoing
chemotherapy.

I left her and my two children and went on a work trip for two weeks. I saw things that made me
forget about my wife. I grew impatient.

I don't know if it was the spiritual and mental pressure or the presence in that polluted border
region, but whatever it was, it caused me to become severely ill on my way back to Tehran.

I suffered from a severe headache, inflammation, 40-degree fever, and more. Along the way, I
visited a doctor who advised me to go to hospital immediately.

Because my fever did not subside with medicine, the doctor said that my condition was very
critical.

I arrived in Tehran. I was out of breath. My wife was in the Baqiatullah Hospital in Tehran
undergoing chemotherapy. I told the driver to quickly take me to the same hospital.

I was in the emergency room when my illness worsened, but they didn't admit me. They said it
was a common fever. I returned home from the hospital. My entire mouth and around my lips
broke out with an infection and cold sores.
It was difficult to even drink water. The next day, my condition worsened. With my friends'
assistance, we went to the hospital again. This time, I briefly lost consciousness for a few
moments at the hospital entrance.

My wife came with difficulty from her department to the emergency room to see me. No matter
how much she explained to the physicians how critical my condition was, they failed to pay
attention.
Meningitis
In the emergency room, I remember a doctor came to my bed, shook me, and said, "Now, what
exactly is your problem?" I don't know who put it in me to say, "I think I have meningitis."

The doctor fell silent. After he examined my condition, he guessed I was right. He immediately
prepared the necessary arrangements. He placed a mask on my face and transferred me to an
isolated room and began testing.

I had a severe headache. I couldn't see anything. There were no machines attached to me. My
wife, who had just finished chemotherapy, was completing the papers for my admittance. The
emergency room was busy and there were several other patients in the unit besides me.
Sounds and lights would extremely bother me. I was transferred to a special room with one bed.

I would firmly press my forehead onto the bed from the severity of my headache and supplicate
in remembrance of God.

I heard the doctor's voice explaining my critical condition to my wife. He said, "How come you
brought the patient so late?!"

But, when he saw the state of my wife, he fell silent.

I experienced so much pain that I was satisfied with death. The sound of my heartbeat would
increase with every passing moment. I couldn't hear the sounds in the hospital anymore. The
only sound was that of my heartbeat—until suddenly I stopped breathing! The sound of my
heartbeat also stopped for some moments!

In past years, when I attended diving lessons, I got stuck a few meters under water and was
close to drowning. When I looked up at the surface of the water in those moments, I saw the
sun appearing like a bright sphere on the surface of the water and I wished that I could get
closer to it every moment. The path of the sun's light appeared to me like a bright passageway
moving upward. Now that years have passed since that day, the same thing happened again!
The entire world became black. I only saw directly above my head where a very bright point was
shining.

In that very small hospital room, I felt like I was 30 meters under water and I wanted to reach the
surface of the water! Just like before, I saw the sun like a bright sphere or passageway on the
surface of the water and wanted to travel toward it.

I was trying to get to the surface of the water when I heard a muffled sound. I clearly recognized
the voice of my late grandmother when she was asking an unknown person, "Is it still not time
for him to come?" The other person would say, "Now he will come to us..." Then the sound of
commotion came and I thought a lot of people were waiting for me on the other side of the light!
I heard the sounds of chatter from my late family members, my grandfather, grandmother, and
so on.
The doctor was waiting for the test results and there was still no machine attached to me to
assess my condition. I didn't feel any pain. I didn't hear the sound of my heartbeats either and I
felt I was at peace.

At the same time that I was trying to reach the surface of the water, I felt like my chest getting
heavy! So heavy, that it felt like a heavy weight was placed on it!
The Angel of Death
My chest was heavy. My focus shifted from the bright point to the bottom of my feet in the same
small room. Suddenly, I saw a very bright-faced and kind old man, whose beautiful features and
kindness I cannot even describe, sitting near my chest! He smiled warmly and said, "Do you
want to come with me? I've come to take your soul, are you ready?"

Fear had overtaken my entire being and I stared at him astonished and dumb-struck. I looked at
him with the pleading look as of a student at an exam who, when time is over, has not written a
single answer.

I built up the courage and thought, "It's not bad to accompany him. I had done a lot of important
and good things in life and was a very good person.” For this reason, I held out my hands
toward Archangel Azrael so he could take me with him. My mind was very much at ease. I
believed in myself and was certain I would go to heaven!

A body that looked like mine was on the hospital bed and I was in front of the old man!

What love and kindness was between us! It was a different kind of love from what people
describe on earth. I didn't want to remove my sight from the bright old man.

I will never forget his beautiful smile, long white beard, and white shirt that was illuminating.

He would lovingly look at me like a kind father to his son. I was at a loss as to what to answer
him. I agreed to accompany him. This kind old man certainly wanted the best for me.1

In that moment and possibly in less than a second, I saw my entire life, from the moment of birth
until the time I entered the hospital room, before my eyes. And that was with all the details!

There was no talking there. No speech would go back and forth, but all my questions were
answered in full. I saw and reviewed the results of all my actions at that moment!

1
It is narrated in traditions that the believers and unbelievers see the Angel of Death in a different fashion. The Angel
of Death appears as a kind father for the believers and he helps them in the passage to Barzakh. However,
fundamentally death for the believers passes as beautiful memories. The traditions narrate that Azrael came to
Ibrahim the Prophet of God. When Prophet Ibrahim (as) saw him, he asked, "Are you inviting me now to cross to the
other side voluntarily, or has the time passed for going voluntarily?" Azrael said, "It is your choice whether or not to
come." Prophet Ibrahim (as) said something that made Azrael think, "God is my friend. Have you ever seen a friend
give death as a gift to another friend?" God sent a revelation on Azrael to respond, "Have you ever seen a friend
dislike meeting with his friend?"
"A human being performs thousands of good and bad deeds in the decades of his life and two accompanying angels
record all of them. According to narrations, all of those [records] are presented to humans (within a short time frame)
at the time of death, meaning that a person sees the report of his actions at the end of his years and the closing of
the period of life and transactions in earth. He comes to know the good or bad conditions and states of his own self
and becomes aware of the benefits or losses of his dealings that he exchanged for his years of life. In conclusion, he
very soon learns if he is of the inhabitants of heaven or hell. " (Resurrection from the View of Soul and Body,
Ayatollah Falsafi, p. 190).
I watched all the good and bad I had done. I saw which of my actions were entirely for the
pleasure of God or which had an intention for other than God!

For the actions I completed only for the pleasure of God (which were unfortunately quite few),
spiritual rankings were created for me and I found out that all the angels took pride in me;
however, for the deeds with un-Godly intentions, I saw that I had lost.

No one judged me in the review of my deeds. No one reprimanded me; it was just me and my
conscience. I even saw that time after time I had been on the verge of death and it was God
who saved me in those moments.

Back on earth, I had often seen problems and hardships first hand during important missions at
the border, and now I was sure that it was God's special favor that prevented my death in all of
those moments.

I even realized that in many missions we would have never attained success had it not been for
the favor of God.

God's powerful hand accompanied me in all of life. I became certain that in all affairs, even
issues related to national security, the favorable hand of God and Ahl al-Bayt (as) were and are
always our supporters.

The calling into account began. At times, I would think about some of my deeds that appeared
very good to me, but I saw that they were hollow and unaccounted for in God's review due to
un-Godly intentions!

I wanted to say that I chose this career which is full of dangers and problems for the sake of
God, but they showed me that I was after a stable and honorable career so I ended up working
there, meaning that Godly intentions were not truly present.

I even pointed out (to the accounting angels) that I underwent extreme hardships on a certain
mission so that the honor of Islam and Iran is preserved, but they showed me that I insisted to
have this mission be reported under my name. So, I received lots of praise for that mission from
others and that was my reward!

I don't know what example to give so that you better understand my state in those moments. A
simple and small action, but for the pleasure of God, held so much more value for me than
hundreds of difficult and wearing tasks, but with un-Godly intentions, they did not have the same
impact!

With hopelessness from myself and my actions, I stepped away from accounting. How cheap
did I sell my life?! How many significant actions had I accomplished with difficulty and persistent
effort but since they were accompanied by a little expectation of praise from others or
recognition from people or the feeling of arrogance or egoism with which I completed them, they
all became worthless.
I felt extremely hopeless and at loss. Like a person who invests his entire net worth for gold with
the hope of a profitable transaction and then, after much difficulty, realizes that all of the gold
that he gathered was fake!

In a bazaar where a buyer gets one gram of pure gold for a very good price, I was overcome by
a strange regret.

In those moments and in the presence of the Angel of Death, my only wish was to return so that
I may perform all my actions with Godly intentions.

No matter how hard I tried to justify my actions, I was convinced that they were not done with
Godly intentions nor for the pleasure of God.

In the review of my deeds, I regretted the actions that I did seeking fame, pride, money, and
financial profit.

I saw that in reality, a lot of my deeds weighed nothing in the balancing and accounting! The
weight of my actions only depended on the amount of sincerity in those actions and not their
quantity.

In some missions where my supervisors praised me multiple times, I did not receive any
spiritual or Godly reward!

I only regretted how much I ran for nothing. Sometimes my actions even had negative weight,
instead of positive weight, and the reason was lack of sincerity and pride in my actions.
The Return
Over there, I saw that all power is in the hands of God. If I had maintained my Godly intentions,
God would have used supernatural elements (ghayb) to solve my problems to be in my best
interests.

I saw how some of my Godly deeds had a great impact on my worldly problems and regretted
why I didn't perform all of my actions, even the simplest everyday actions of life, with Godly
intentions.

In those moments and during deep hopelessness, I thought to myself how good it would be if
they allowed me to return. Then I would never perform an action except for the pleasure of God.
Are people of the world worth it for a person to perform his actions for their pleasure?!

But then suddenly I remembered the most recent two-week work trip and that I had to report to
the supervisors. A unique security condition had arisen which only I was aware of. So, I said to
the old man that I realized was Azrael, "Can you delay my death?" But the time for my death
had arrived. There was no way back. With a gesture, I surrendered to Azrael.

However, I should point out that no words were exchanged. The Angel of Death knew what was
in my heart and what I wanted to say and I knew what he wanted to say. We had a spiritual
connection.

He averted his kind gaze from my face and stood up from his place and said, "Now is not your
turn. I will return."

Without using the door of the room, he passed through the wall and went to the room on the
right and stood in front of a patient.

A heavy-built young person was lying on the bed and a few machines were attached to him.

In contrast to my experience, he didn’t speak at length with that patient. Just as someone would
grab a person from the collar, he grabbed his neck, took out the spirit of this young person, and
carried it with him to the heavens.

Suddenly, I screamed and took a deep breath like someone who held their breath underwater!

My heart started beating again and the pain came back once more. With the sound of my
breathing, my wife jumped from her spot. The poor soul thought I was asleep. She said with
surprise, "Did something happen?"

I said, "Azrael...Azrael was just here!"

My wife said with wonder, "What are you saying? Where was Azrael?!"
I turned my head toward the right with difficulty and said, "Azrael left from this direction. He just
removed the soul of a heavy-built youth and took it with him.”

My wife, who thought I was in a state of delirium, wanted to say something when the sound of a
scream was heard from next door in the main center of the emergency room!

She gave me a confused look and peered into the lobby; then she quickly went into the
neighboring room.

A woman, who was a visitor in the room to the right, kept on screaming.

Moments later, my wife returned and said with surprise, "What did you really see? A heavy-built
young person in the neighboring room just left this world—how did you know?"

Breathing was difficult for me. I paused a little and said, "Khanum, I saw Azrael who wanted to
take me, but he gave me permission to stay."

I took a fresh breath of air and said, "I saw him go to the neighboring room and without
hesitation pulled out the soul of a young person, who was sleeping on the bed, from the back of
his neck and took it with him."

As I was talking, I fainted and went into a deep sleep. They immediately took me to a solitary
room in the intensive care unit. My brother also accompanied me as a visitor. However, I
realized this much later.

The next morning, when I opened my eyes, I saw myself as if I was stuck to the ceiling of the
solitary room!

The sky brightened and it was obvious that I was on a respirator from last night when I came
into the room.

I looked at my body that was lying on the bed from above. Multiple IVs were attached to me and
the machines on top of me were on. I didn't feel any pain.

It was almost afternoon, but my brother was still asleep on the seat next to me. The poor soul
was with me from the night before till the morning.

However, I was calm and at ease. Whatever I willed, I was able to do. I could go wherever I
wanted. It was just necessary for me to wish it!

It was as if I was left to my own accord and I was given permission to experience flight in that
state.
Mother
In the same solitary room, I suddenly remembered that I haven't seen my mother for some time.
The last time I went to see her was before this work trip.

As soon as I thought of this subject, I was immediately in my mother's house! I saw my mom
who had put on her chador and wanted to quickly get out of the door. The taxi driver was waiting
for her outside the house.

But before she closed the door, she went inside the house once more! She forgot to take the
key with her. She took the key, went outside, quickly entered the car, and went toward the
hospital.1

I knew the intentions and inner thoughts of everyone I would see. I traveled above my mother's
car in the sky. She was crying in the taxi and explained my illness to the driver, who was an old
man. The driver prayed for my recovery.

We arrived at the hospital. My mother went toward the entrance of the unit. The guard who was
in front of the entrance didn't have a good attitude. As my mother wanted to enter, he said, "It's
not possible. Now's not the time for visitation." My mother said, "My son is here. I wanted to stay
with him as a visitor."

The unpleasant guard said, "This patient has a visitor. Call him to tell him to exit and you can
take his place." My mother, who became extremely tired, couldn't reach my brother, no matter
how many times she dialed. I was just going back and forth between the solitary room and the
unit entrance. I wanted to wake up my brother by any means. My mother was becoming very
annoyed and tired.

The guard was busy playing with his phone and was indifferent to my mother's pleas. My mom
went to sit on the chair. She was just saying to herself, "What should I do? Who should I
contact..."

I went inside my own room. I said I have to wake up my brother no matter what. Whatever I tried
didn't work. As I was trying, I suddenly stared at my body. I have to return to my body to notify
my brother, but how?!

Suddenly I felt pain. My head became heavy. I still had a fever. I had returned to my body once
more! I called out to my brother in whatever manner possible. He jumped from sleep and said,
"What happened? How are you? Good?"

With difficulty I said, "Get up, mom is waiting outside the unit entrance."

1
Later on, when I told my mother this information, she confirmed it and said, "I was in a hurry because of the
persistence of the driver and I forgot the house key. I quickly returned and took it."
He said, "How do you know?" I said, "I saw her myself. Get up."

He said, "Why didn't she call me?" I replied, "Your phone is off. Get up now."

He glanced at his phone that was turned off and said I was right!

Then he ran to the unit entrance without asking any questions. The poor guy was still half
asleep; he didn't even ask where I got this information from! A few minutes later, my mother
entered the room. Even though I could only open my eyes with difficulty, I was so happy to see
her once more. She spoke with me a little and, like all mothers, started caring lovingly for me as
her child. Of course, I should say that there was a special love between me and my mother.
From childhood, whenever my mother needed something, I would be the first to tend to it before
my four brothers.

During our childhood and youth, my mother made a plan with us boys that every day one would
buy bread, the other would help with housework, the other would gather and set the bedding,
and so on.

Anytime one of the boys would be mischievous and wouldn't do his work, I would step up and
complete the remaining tasks.

I would always hear my mom pray for me out loud.

Even now that years have passed since those days, when my mother needs help, I would be
the one she would discuss it with most of the time. My mother's loving prayers had protected my
path. I understood this well in the accounting of my actions on the other side of life.

In that same moment, I saw my past and my deeds being reviewed, and I saw my mother's
prayers that were very powerful in impacting my fate.

On multiple occasions, a sin or mistake that I had done popped up and was then erased with my
mother's prayers and I would be cleared of it, or wherever a calamity or punishment was
supposed to befall me, it was solved through my mother's prayers.

This is the rank of a mother. Every single prayer of a mother is enough to completely change
the course of one's future. My mother would continuously pray for me as she sat next to me. I
said with difficulty, "May I be ransom for you. Why did you make so much effort to come all the
way here to see me with the condition you're in? I'm ashamed."

My mother said, "I wish I never saw my beautiful son so ill in the hospital." I was only able to be
with my mother for a few minutes that day. I fell unconscious once more. I had many difficult
days in the hospital. I didn't know if I should be upset for my own sake or for my wife's.

God blessed me with a kind and innocent spouse and we really loved each other. Our life was
going well until my wife's illness worsened.
The Eyes of a Child
I witnessed several interesting events in those moments and in the presence of Azrael that I will
share.

One of my children named Zahra was hospitalized during infancy from severe burns.

I do not mean to make you sad, but so that you can know the entire story, in the year 2010, my
wife wanted to pour boiling hot water from the kettle into a flask. Zahra, who was placing her
hands on the wall to walk, crawled into the kitchen without a sound.

She grabbed her mother's leg from the back as a signal to pick her up. My wife was startled and
the kettle of boiling water fell from her hand onto the child's head!!

The skin of my child's head, face, and eyes were completely damaged. I can't even describe
those moments.

The sound of the child's screams and cries was in addition to the shouts of my wife. I quickly
held her under a faucet of running cold water and then ran outside the house.

I took Zahra and sat behind the steering wheel. The child didn't have energy to cry anymore
because of how much she had screamed.

I don't know how I arrived at Shiraz's hospital for accidents involving burns. At that time, we
were living in Shiraz.

I left the car and ran. When I took her inside the emergency room, I saw that the entire head
and face skin tissue of my child was gone. Blood was running from her head. All of her hair had
burned and fallen.

They said that, due to the burning of the pupil and cornea, my child's eyes had become blind!

The emergency room doctor dressed some of the wounds on her head and face and said,
"Quickly take her to the hospital specializing in eyes.”

The specialist saw her and examined her completely. He also confirmed that both eyes of my
child had become blind. You don't know what kind of night I experienced. My wife came to the
hospital and we cried over this child all morning.

We constantly prayed to Lady Zahra (sa). I knew that the majority of calamities that fall upon
people are the results of their own sins and mistakes so my wife and I repented.

At 10:00 am the next morning, the eye doctor came and opened the dressing of my child's eyes.

A miracle had occurred! The humble prayers of my wife and I had been answered. The outcome
that could have caused regret and troubles for my wife and I had passed.
Zahra's eyes shined like pearls. She looked at me, she looked at her mother, and she went
toward her mother and fell into her arms. My wife and I looked at each other with surprise. That
means that Zahra had seen her mother?!

The doctor examined my child's eyes again with the machine. He examined her again and
looked at my girl's records in shock.

He said facing me, "The doctor himself...he wrote that this child became blind?!

I said, "Yes, last night they did some tests."

"Before him, another doctor in the hospital for burn victims examined her and said the same
thing."

The doctor shook his head in disbelief and said, "Now that your child's eyes are working
completely, go and tend to her burn-related injuries."

You don't know how I felt. We left the eye hospital joyfully. During those days, my child's
problems were handled very quickly—faster than I had expected.

Now on the other side of life and when the days of my life were being measured and reviewed, I
saw the same incident.

I believed that no calamity falls on a person unless it is due to their mistakes and sins; only a
small percentage of people experience calamities for their growth and progress.

In the days when my daughter was suffering from burns, I had bothered my wife with my words
on several occasions. Two years after marriage, I found out that my wife had cancer during
childhood and had recovered after years of treatment.

Now, I repeated these words in some of the answers to my wife's complaints, "Why didn't you
say you had cancer during the marriage proposal?"

It had broken my wife's heart. Through this calamity that befell my daughter, God wanted me to
realize that sickness and accidents during childhood can happen to any girl.

However, God returned the sight and health of Zahra through the repentance that was
performed that night in the hospital and with the intercession of my mother Lady Zahra (sa).
When I was away on a work trip, my six-year-old Zahra was with her mother in the hospital.
Father
After several hours of sleep or unconsciousness, I fell into a coma again. Again, my soul was
freed and a once-in-a-lifetime experience occurred!

I was entirely aware of this. This feeling was completely different from sleep or hallucinations.

Because my pain was relieved, my soul was completely free, and I could travel to wherever I
willed inside or outside of the hospital.

My father was a good and kind man. When my mother came to Tehran along with some of her
children, he stayed in Shiraz with me and lived with his second wife in one of the villages in the
Fars province. So we had less relations with him and we didn't see him as often.

I heard that he took up several responsibilities in that village. Every year he would host a big
celebration in his home for Eid al-Ghadir because of his special connection to Amir al-
Mu'mineen (as). He invited me several times, but each time I was unable to attend in the event
for various reasons.

In this very province, I was overcome by a strange sense of longing for my dad. I wanted to see
him after such a long time.

Suddenly, I saw myself standing on an empty paved road. I moved in the air about ten meters
above the ground. Perhaps in earthly terms, I traveled along the path for one or two hours. The
path was completely empty and my surroundings were deserted.

I traveled much further on this road until I reached a small village! Several houses were located
there.

I went straight toward the last house at the end of the road. The door of the house was green
and it was clear it was recently painted. I entered the home. My father was sitting and speaking
to his wife.

He spoke of cement bricks that he bought for the walls of the house or the village boulevard.

He was saying, "Tomorrow I have to go earlier to put these bricks in their place so the architect
can start building."

I looked outside. I saw a large number of cement bricks piled on top of each other near the road.

I said to myself that it's difficult for my father to move all these bricks alone. I decided to help
him, but suddenly I saw that I'm in the hospital.1

1 The next year I went to Shiraz with my wife. I called my father and said, "I want to visit you." He wanted to give me
the address when I said it's not necessary! We traveled from Shiraz to another city and, like someone who knows the
Death and Satan
Of the other experiences that I had in the hospital was the storming of wild beings that looked
like giant insects or predatory animals like wolves or hyenas. They filled the entire space of the
emergency room and intensive care unit! Other patients who were in a coma like me saw them
and their eyes were popping out of their sockets from fright!

They were astonished by these creatures, but the medical staff and other patients didn't see
them. These animals would attack any patient who was in a comatose state or on the verge of
death, and they didn't let them have concentration and focus in their last moments and be in the
remembrance of God, the Almighty. In those moments, I remembered a narration of Imam
Ridha (as): "Whoever comes to visit me, I will come to their rescue at three different times and
one of those times is the moment of death."

It was then that I realized the importance of the moment of death. How important is it for people
to remember God, recite the declaration of faith, and seek help from the Ahl al-Bayt (as).

However, in line with my worldly habit, I would remember God and the Ahl al-Bayt (as)
whenever I became scared or worried about something.

Whenever I saw these animals in the hospital, I supplicated and noticed these animals fleeing!

It was there that I realized that these are devils that come after patients in a different shape
each time. In the hospital, approximately one patient would pass away each day. I saw why
these animals were here!

Their work was related to humans' moments of death! These devils would use different tactics to
prevent patients from leaving this world with faith in their final moments! They were in search of
people’s weak points or their worldly attachments, and they would use these levers to make
people heedless of God in the moments of death.

On the other hand, I saw that God's angels would also help people in those critical moments,
but whether or not a patient passes away with or without faith depended on the conditions that
he created for himself across his lifespan. Someone who disobeyed God and obeyed Satan
during his entire life would unlikely be saved in those conditions, unless God favored him.

During one of those nights where my soul was freed, I saw the Angel of Death once more. From
afar, I was looking at where he went. The events that took place were important for me.

way, I entered a minor road. I told my wife that I've seen these roads from above. A little farther and after the hill
everywhere becomes filled with greenery and that's what happened. We entered the village and stopped in front of
the last house with a green-colored door. The image and buildings of the village were exactly as I saw them during
the coma. Even the cement bricks and people's houses and so on were in the exact same state. We enjoyed that trip
a lot.
However, he had such a bright and kind presence that I wanted him to come after me so I can
see his compassionate face again.

But I saw that it appeared like he was not this kind for everyone! He treated some aggressively
and had no sense of kindness or compassion.

I saw that he went to one of the hospital rooms that was in a different unit, very far from my
room. An old man was losing his life.

The devils were surrounding him with a variety of deceitful forms. Some looked like scary
animals and some devils even looked like half-naked women who were engaging in flirtatious
behavior above him!

This man, who apparently had no connection to spirituality, could not call out to God no matter
how much he tried; he was frightened by those faces and ultimately couldn't do anything about
it. He left this world in an awful state. This could be realized by the manner in which his soul was
removed by the Angel of Death.1 After that incident, I saw these creatures enter the hospital
several times. I realized immediately that someone was being transferred to Barzakh each time.

In those days, one of the strange events that I witnessed during the exiting of the soul from the
body was that I understood the internal state of all the people that I saw! It was not merely the
normal essence of people; I even understood their thoughts, beliefs, ancestors and lineage, and
even their destiny!

I heard that Ayatollah Bahjat said to one of his close friends, "I can come to know the beginning
and end of some people with one look!" In those moments, the exact thing happened to me.

Meaning when I glanced at any person, I saw, not only their internal features, thoughts, and
intentions, but also the events that occurred from the moment of birth until death! I even saw
past the moment of death, since I saw which people were in a bad situation on the Day of
Judgment. However, I should emphasize that God did not take away the opportunity for
repentance and return to Him from anyone, meaning that people can change themselves with
the free will that God gave them.

1 When people reach the point of death, Satan and his companions appear on their deathbed and they try with
different methods to take away their "faith" and remove it from their grasp; these are the hardest moments for anyone
in a dying state. It is narrated from Imam Sadiq (as), "There is no person to whom Satan does not send a delegate at
the time of death so that they can tempt him and make him doubt his religion and pull him into disbelief. This
temptation continues until the soul exits the body. If the dying person is of the true believers, Satan cannot influence
him and take away his religion and belief. So whenever one of you goes to the bedside of someone whose time of
death has come, do talqin (remind a dead person) of the Shahada (the two testimonies of faith) so that Satan does
not grab hold of him" (Bihar al-Anwar, v. 6, p. 195).
The Public Treasury
I spent twelve days in the hospital and ten of them were in the intensive care unit. I experienced
the exiting of my soul several times and underwent multiple near-death experiences. I exited
from my body and returned at least once a day!

Describing what I saw is not an easy task, seeing some of your friends and family in such a way
that is difficult for everyone to believe.

For example, one time I went after my friends from my teenage years. Two of them were busy
working in an office.

Of course, when someone commits to an office job for a designated number of hours doing
productive work, ultimate care needs to be taken so that he doesn't run into any problems
regarding the rights of the public and, especially in government offices, problems related to the
public treasury. These problems subject people to unlawful money and the effects of this money
manifests in their offspring and children.

I went to one of my friend's offices. During business hours, he was busy with personal affairs
and he left a client waiting behind the door! With one look, I realized that this was his everyday
behavior.

Even though he performed the daily prayers, and paid attention to the halal and haram in Islam,
I saw that in his afterlife, he was searching for people from whom to seek forgiveness.

Another one of my friends was busy in a different part of the office. At that very moment, he
entered the room that I was in to take care of some business. I was horrified by the sight of him.
His insides looked like that of naked women!

When I looked at him again, I realized that in the moments prior, this friend of mine was busy
watching pornographic videos in the workplace and with public internet!

Unlawful actions during work hours?! I saw what fate this friend of mine had come to, in this life
and the next.

He was fired from that business in disgrace because of these ugly actions, other sins of this
kind, and the failure to uphold the rights of the people and he then also suffered from personal
problems. In the next life, his predicament was also severe.

However, later on, after I was discharged from the hospital, I visited these two dear ones again.

Because of the collective responsibility of enjoining others to good and forbidding them from
evil, I said to this friend, “If you don't protect your eyes, you'll have problems.” I read him an
Islamic narration as well.

During that time, I saw one of my current colleagues who was dealing with many problems.
I wanted to know why he experienced so many problems in life. Unfortunately, this friend of
mine was also busy with actions I can't name, during the hours that belonged to the people.
These problems occurred as a result of his own actions.1

1
Misuse of the Public Treasury (Bayt al-Maal) is one of the most important red lines of which the Ahl al-Bayt (as)
have spoken. In a narration, it is stated, “There are five people that I and every Prophet of guidance curses...those
who take [the Public Treasury] and public funds for themselves and consider [the use of] it [in the manner they desire]
as permissible" (Imam Baqir (as) from Prophet Muhammad (s) in al-Kafi, v. 2, p. 293).
Those Two Nurses
Every time my soul left my body, I became familiar with more truths—truths that were bitter and
frightening, but educational.

I saw how some members of the hospital's medical staff would work so sincerely to take care of
people's problems and they would develop so much because of the work they did and the
people's kind prayers for them; however, others...

During one of the instances in which my soul left my body and I wanted to leave the hospital, a
female and a male nurse entered my room. The young lady went toward my IV serum and
became busy examining it while she was talking to the male nurse.

The young man looked at my files to see what medication and at what time he should inject it
into the serum. It appeared externally that they were performing their responsibilities.

However, as soon as I looked at these two individuals, fright took over my entire being!

Not only did I see their internal thoughts, but I also saw the results of their thoughts and actions
well!

I even knew their names, demographic information, place of birth, and the names of their
mother and father!

This young lady was trying to attract the heart of this boy toward her even though she had
relationships with five other men previously!

I was even able to find out which people were previously in relationships with her.

The boy also had relationships with several other girls and had promised marriage to many of
them. He was trying to take this girl with him for lustful purposes as well.

I even saw that when they were quiet, they were thinking what to say next!

The girl thought about what snarky comment she should say and what his response would be.

I saw that the devils were present between them and kept on encouraging them to continue the
conversation!

When a container holds fire and we pour a cup of gasoline on it, this fire will burn more
intensely.

I saw exactly this. Between these two nurses, a fire was ignited and every word which was
spoken acted like a cup of gasoline!

It was strange for me that the young lady's cell phone rang at that moment.
I even found out who was on the other end of line, what he was saying, and what intentions he
had!

The caller was one of the past boyfriends of this lady. He spoke with her for a bit and the young
lady quickly said goodbye so that she could meet up with this young nurse in the hallway.

On the other hand, I saw that their problems were not only with this issue and relationship.

This female nurse went to the adjacent room after she had spoken with this young man in the
hallway for a bit. An unconscious old man was sleeping on the bed.

This woman was in a hurry to quickly end the serum and go after that boy.

She pulled the needle out of this old man's arm and ripped the bandage on his hand with such
speed that blood started flowing from the old man's arm.

She placed another bandage on the wound and said to herself, "He's unconscious and doesn't
understand anything." Then she left quickly.

I witnessed the pain of that old man. I saw that this old man cursed the female nurse.

All of these were the rights of people that have to be answered one day and unfortunately those
who give no importance to the command of God are indifferent to people's rights as well.

I saw that the mother and father of this young girl prayed for her a lot, but the greatest thing that
ruined her destiny was the issue of people's rights.

It was interesting that I saw till the end of the lives of those two! I saw whom each one of them
married.

But I witnessed that neither of them found peace in their future personal and married lives, and
that their future married lives with their spouses would be complicated with these unlawful
relationships of their youth and it would never come to an end!

Later on, I said to one of my friends, "The hospital is one of the locations of the ascent of
humans’ souls. We are told to clear out the area around the dying person at the time of death.”

They say that people who don't uphold the prayers or are Islamically impure (najis) shouldn't be
at the bedside of the dying person. Haram sounds should not be heard. Surah al-Yasin or
certain supplications should be recited for the dying person so that angels come toward him.
Unfortunately, these conditions are not followed in hospitals.

On the contrary, I've seen several times that haram sounds, haram sights, poor hijab, and lack
of faith are common in these places.

These conditions have a negative effect during the moments of death of people and they do not
allow humans to spend their last moments in peace and in the remembrance of God.
And what state do those people have who leave this world in the midst of sin and in a place
stained with sin!

No opportunity for repentance nor anybody to remind them of God. Even God's angels cannot
enter a place of sin to help them.

Here I must say that the martyrs had and continue to have such a beautiful ascent. Each one
departs this world beautifully, resting on the lap of Imam Hussain (as) and receiving the
welcome of their martyred friends.

I remember the old servants of Imam Hussain (as) who spend their last moments greeting their
master and then leaving to meet him. Indeed, the final moments of the lives of people are very
important.
Devilish Laughter
The fourth night that I was in the hospital a strange event occurred. While I was awake and
conscious, I felt such an unbearable pain in my head. I wanted to fall asleep or become
unconscious as soon as possible.

Every night I separated from my body and had a near-death experience.

I was entirely aware that these events were different from sleep or dreams. In the realm of
sleep, the atmosphere was different from what I would experience.

I also had dreams in the hospital and I would awaken occasionally because of severe pains, but
the issue of sleep had no connection with these experiences.

When I would return to my body, I knew who had been at my bedside and the length of their
stay without having opened my eyes.

So that these events wouldn't be forgotten, I would often explain everything to my visitors about
where I went during that time and what had happened to me so that they could write it down.

Even though believing this information was very difficult for them, the amount of precise detail
that was narrated made them believe it.

For example, one time I witnessed the attending physician telling my visitor outside of the room,
"If you had arrived 24 hours later to the hospital, the meningitis would have killed him. Although
his condition isn't great now either."

I witnessed this exchange. When I regained consciousness, I informed my visitor of the

conversation.

He said with surprise, "I was outside the room. How did you understand what the doctor was
saying?!"

However, during that night, when my soul left my body and I went to the atmosphere above the
hospital, I realized that the sound of laughter and frightening and repulsive chuckles could be
heard!

I searched for the source of the sound. I wanted to choke the sound. I traveled a little this way
and that way in the sky of Tehran.

A large highway was beneath my feet. I saw something strange. I went downward so that I
could see more clearly.

Again, I should explain that my travel downward did not require any time. I willed it and it would
happen.
This highway was similar to Imam Ali (as) highway that was located in a valley.

It was a one-way road and approximately eight lines of cars were moving toward the southern
part of town.

The strange thing for me was that the entire highway till the roof of the cars was submerged in
filth and sewage!!

I looked at the vehicles and saw that all of them were full of passengers and they had no
complaints of being in this sewage! Even the insides of the cars were full of filth, but no one was
upset!

I thought to myself why aren't they trying to get out of this state?

Don't they see how dirty they've become?! I even went further down to help the cars, but no one
wanted any help. Everyone was in the path of dirt and they were satisfied with this state!

Directly next to this highway on the right side, there was a shoulder lane with higher elevation
and its cars were without dirt and were clean! They traveled in the same direction as the cars at
the end of the highway.

This slow path had an entrance and exit to the main highway and at every entrance and exit a
number of cars from below (the sewage area) would come upward and exit the sewage and
become clean, and from another direction, several clean cars would enter the filthy area and fall
into its sewage water!

The frightening laughter could still be heard. I traveled along the path of this highway in the
opposite direction of the cars. The further I went, the louder the sound became!

I noticed that in an upscale part of the city and at the beginning of this highway a very thick pipe
was pouring the sewage onto the highway!

Suddenly I saw Satan, with an extremely ugly appearance, wearing black clothing, and like an
old lady, sitting by the pipe laughing drunkenly!

Then I saw to my surprise that around Satan hundreds of small devils that looked like human
fetuses but with small wings had made a circle and partook in his happiness.

Satan joyfully showed the end of the highway and he was happy that most people were
drowned in this filth and sewage.

The small devils spun around happily next to Satan, like flies that surround filth.

They would give dishes full of filth to Satan so he could spill it on people's heads.

I said to myself that I should attack Satan, but I saw that I was no opponent for him. Because of
my disgust toward Satan's voice, I quickly got far away from that place.
I turned my head around. I looked at the apartments and buildings around the highway.

Filth and najis substances and things like that in the sewage on the highway spilled out of the
doors and windows of most of these apartments!

I moved further upward and looked inside some of the apartment units. I saw that people were
sitting as a family in front of the TV and were busy watching, but their entire home was filled with
the najis items and sewage. It was strange that they were also satisfied with this condition and
didn't have any complaints!

O God what am I seeing?! Is this the same Tehran that I live in?!

When I looked with slightly more precision, I saw that there were units between these building
floors where roses were hanging from their doors and walls!

Not only was there no sign of filth, but the smell of perfume and bright light of these houses filled
the atmosphere; however, the number of these bright houses were slightly less than the dark
and dirty units. I saw that the clean cars would enter these bright homes.1

1
I asked for books about the nature of homes that were bright and smelled of flowers. They said, "In these houses,
the smell of perfume and brightness is felt through the remembrance of God and the household of the Holy Prophet
(s). The inhabitants of these homes are committed to performing God's commands. However, on the contrary, the
houses that are drowned in dirt didn't have any connection to God and the household of the Holy Prophet (s), and
they were drowned in worldly affairs.”
The Source of Light
My disgust of Satan's frightening voice was so great that I constantly distanced myself from the
center of the noise and was leaving the area.

However, the smell of the perfume of the houses in which Satan was not present and that had
roses reached the skies!

I decided to travel higher. Tehran was like a sky full of stars underneath my feet. I saw the bright
houses shining.

I traveled higher. I saw Iran in the same state. Some cities were brighter and some less so.

On one hand, these bright houses and units were connected to each other through strings of
light.

The dirty units were also connected to each other through strings of darkness and blackness.
Even the stores and shops were either dark or bright.

I traveled higher. I saw the entire earth like a sky full of stars. However, if the entire earth was
like a star, one point and one city was shining like the moon! Perhaps I should say it was like the
sun because it had a dazzling light.

I quickly went to that point. Upon first glance, I thought that this was Mecca. However, when I
went toward the point, my feelings completely changed. I saw two golden domes!

Karbala was the great source of light and purity which connected all of the light in all the areas
of the world. Karbala was the source of brightness of the entire earth.1

All the bright points were connected to the center of the holy city of Karbala through a grand
web and on the other hand, all the dirty and Islamically impure houses were connected to each
other like points of blackness.

1
Imam Sajjad (as) stated, “The land of Karbala will shine on the Day of Judgment like a pearl and it will call out that it
is the holy land of God, the pure and blessed land that leads the martyrs and carries the Chief of the youth of
paradise” (Kamel al-Ziyarat, p. 268).
Imam Sadiq (as) stated, “Indeed God has made Karbala a sacred land of safety and blessings before He made
Mecca a sacred land” (Kamel al-Ziyarat, p. 268; Bihar al-Anwar, v. 98, p. 110).
Imam Sadiq (as) stated, “Whoever desires to sit at the table of light on the Day of Judgment should be of the pilgrims
of Imam Hussain (as)” (Wasail al-Shia, v. 10, p. 330).
Humran states, “When I was returning from a visit to Imam Hussain (as), Imam Baqir (as) came to see me and he
said, “O Humran! I reveal to you that whoever visits the graves of the martyrs of the Prophetic household and his
intention from this act is the pleasure of God and nearness to the Holy Prophet (s) he will be absolved of his sins from
the day that his mother gave birth to him”” (Amali Shaikh Toosi, v. 2, p. 28).
Imam Sadiq (as) stated, “Do not abandon the pilgrimage of Imam Hussain (as) and tell this to your friends and
companions as well, so that God lengthens your life and increases your blessings and God keeps you alive in
prosperity and you won't die other than as a martyr” (Wasail al-Shia, v. 10, p. 335).
However, these two bright and dark lines were interwoven with one another like the red and
black arteries in the bodies of humans and they were close to one another.

Even in certain places you could say that they were connected and would transform into one
another. Exactly like the flow of blood in the body!
The Review of Life
The first night when I was in the presence of Azrael and during the time in which my life flashed
before my eyes, I witnessed a lot of events that I had either forgotten or had never remembered.

I was born in the spring of 1984 on the day of 15th of Sha'ban in Shiraz. I was a twin. The news
of two boys made the family extremely happy, especially my grandmother. Back then they
would become very happy with the birth of a boy and even more if they were twins.

Just a few months after our birth, we got a bad disease. This illness weakened us to such a
degree that we were unable to drink our mother's milk. Day by day we became closer to death.
Like a fish that gulps and wants water, we would open our mouths but weren't able to drink our
mother's milk.

The neighborhood women, who came out of pity to help my mom, realized that we were in a
dire condition and took our mother out of the room so she wouldn't see our death.

I saw that my mother was crying. She would scream and call out to Imam Zaman (aj). She said,
"Master, these children are your ransom. Return them to me so that they can grow and serve
your government."

In amaze, I saw that my brother and I recovered and we eventually grew up. I saw the details of
the smallest events of my life. I watched my youth and school days with all the details. When I
showed kindness to one of my classmates, I witnessed the blessings that were bestowed on my
life.

During my teenage years I was introduced to an incredible educational and religious group in
Shiraz.

The classes of the Rahpouyan Vesal Association and a noble scholar named Hajj Anjavi Nejad
had an enormous impact on my religious growth.

My brother and I learned about the revolution, basij, martyrs, i'tikaf, and spirituality from the basij
of the Al Zahra Mosque of Shiraz and the Rahpouyan Vesal Association.

Hundreds like me grew in those organizations and were placed on the right path. I saw that
when I was present in the educational and religious gatherings, a crowd of angels surrounded
us and changed our destinies.

In my book of deeds, I saw the time of my life that I spent guiding the children in the mosque
and when I was with the basij.

I saw who would pray for me and how the kind prayers of these children’s parents gave me so
much success.
I remember that we started a few groups for the teenagers and youth in the mosque. The youth
participated with their families and the groundwork to positively change a large number of
people was built.

What a time it was. From night till day and day till night, I was busy with educational and
revolutionary activities. I attracted a large number of delinquents, who were neglected in society,
to the basij using various tactics.

Those same people became committed Muslims and revolutionary individuals who helped me a
great deal in the field of security work.
God’s Tests
I'll never forget that during the same time I was active in basij, I was reprimanded by officials as
to why I would employ individuals who were previously problematic to the basij.

But I believed in my work, so I continued to be strong and firm. Later on, they even removed me
from the management of the bases.

I provided work in a utility company to many members of basij who were unemployed. I taught
them electrical work, welding, and many other skills, and I stayed by their side.

Many of them learned the necessary techniques and skills and found appropriate jobs for
themselves.

During those days, something happened that will never leave my mind. God gave me a difficult
test, after which the doors of God's mercy opened for me in a whole new way!

We had a center for home repair services with those same youth from the basij. One person
contacted us and said, "Our home air conditioning needs repair." Our AC technician wasn’t
around that day, but I knew this work and went to the house with a trainee. We repaired the air
conditioning and returned.

The next day a woman contacted us and said, "Yesterday you fixed the air conditioning of my
mother's house. If possible, please repair our air conditioning today."

I went to the given address with one of my friends. The problem wasn't serious and we quickly
completed the job.

But that young lady insisted that the switch for the air conditioning be repaired from inside the
house. I told my friend to go outside, start the motorcycle, and that I would be down soon.

I said, "Ya Allah," and entered the house. It appeared that no one was inside. I saw that the
switch for the air conditioning didn't have a serious problem. I turned it on and off a couple times
and saw that there was no issue.

I said, "Miss, this switch works fine, there's no problem."

This young lady thanked me and brought me a glass of juice and came closer. As I went to take
the juice, I suddenly saw that she removed her veil. She was wearing undergarments and
started engaging in flirtatious behavior.

I said Ya Zahra in my heart, placed the juice on the table, and quickly leftf the house.

God knows how many blessings and successes were granted to me because of the avoidance
of this available and ready sin.
I saw in the review of my deeds that God granted me indescribable high standings and
successes in this world and the next because I turned my eyes away from this unlawful act.
However, if I were to have accepted this temptation of Satan, my married life that had just
started would have encountered many problems.

Another important test that occurred to me was during the time when the sessions and
gatherings of basij had increased.

I had responsibilities there while I was also doing martial arts, and my physical appearance was
attractive according to my friends.

But I fled away from this subject. I always tried to wear clothes that weren't attractive.

I noticed that on the days when we held our gatherings, some young girls wanted to talk to me
as an excuse for advice or questions!

However, God blessed me with the success and a reminder to refer them to one of the women
who was active in the seminary and also an advisor.

Another one of God's tests occurred when I was busy with national security cases. Countless
offers were made so that I conceal certain security issues, but I never followed through with any
of these cases.

I had learned from my teenage years to uphold the boundaries of relationships with women—
not to be alone with na-mahram (unrelated) women. I was afraid of entangling myself with the
temptations of Satan.

God showed me in those moments, when divine tests occur, the devils enter the field with all
their might and support from their jinn and human partners and they try to make people fail in
their tests.

Firm belief in God and intercession by the Holy Prophet’s (s) household are the only things that
come to people's aid during these circumstances.

I believed that God takes the hand of those who trust in Him during the dangerous and filthy
times and won't allow them to go astray.

I saw that people wanted to disgrace me, but God Almighty was the One who saved me each
time.

Even some of these young girls would come on behalf of certain individuals to test me and it
was always God who supported me.1

1
In history, there are many personalities who have controlled their ego one time and turned away from an enticing
and ready sin and reached high levels. The late Ayatollah Milana said these same words regarding Shaykh Rajabali
Khayyat.
Marriage
In those years, I was very active in the basij. God made it so that my managerial and
cooperative spirit thrived. I ran three basij units simultaneously. I set up a basij unit in the
outskirts of the city of Shiraz that attracted more than 300 youth volunteers in a short amount of
time! All of this was by the grace of God Almighty.

After spending some time working in the basij, I went to the Ahl al-Bayt Islamic Seminary of
Shiraz for continued education. I studied in the seminary for two years.

It was then that, as my friends recommended, I got a job in the security department of the Fars
province. At the same time that I was studying in the seminary, I agreed to get married due to
the insistence of my mother.

At that time, I had never spoken to any unrelated girl and was scared of the proposal process.

My mom suggested the daughter of one of the seminary professors for me. I was very familiar
with her father and agreed. Our proposal and marriage ceremonies were conducted very easily
and simply.

My wife's family went to Qom and after a few different incidents, in 2010, I was called to
continue the security work in Tehran.

Since that day, I entered a new phase in life.

My wife was a good and innocent lady whom God had chosen as my life partner. She and I
were like two wings that completed each other's flight.

We spent four years in Shiraz and then continued our life in Tehran. We loved each other. All of
our relatives knew this.

God granted us one girl and one boy during those years. Zahra in 2009 and Mohammad Ali in
2011 brought pleasure to our family.

My wife developed issues after the second birth and her cancer returned.

My divine tests became more difficult and complicated day by day and I tried to remain as a
thankful person.

There were days when I returned home from work to an ill wife who was unable to sit up. I had
to act as a father and a mother for the children and I couldn't complain in any way.

In the review of my actions, I saw that I was given great reward for caring for my wife and
children and enduring those difficult conditions and every moment of that difficulty was
accounted for.
However, the smallest instance of ingratitude spoiled my reward. I saw all that I earned with
patience and enduring hardships was suddenly worthless! With an inappropriate complaint,
opening up to people around me about the state of my life, spouse, and children, my reward
was lost.

I deeply regretted why I had wasted all the reward I had earned from enduring all those
hardships with a single angry outburst.

I lost a reward greater than that of martyrdom just like that!

Jinn
During the times that my soul would exit the hospital, I witnessed certain realities which I was
entirely unaware of beforehand.

For example, a while ago, when my wife's illness had worsened, I would often hear a voice in
the middle of the night coming from outside the house by the window that would recite the Holy
Quran and supplications with a special melodic tone. I heard this voice in the middle of the night
several times and when I would put my head outside the window, I couldn't see anyone! On the
other side of life when these moments were reviewed, I realized that a family of Shi'i jinn were
living in the old neighborhood where we had rented a house.

Since we came to Tehran, we held religious programs of mourning and gatherings for Imam
Hussain (as). These mourning sessions resulted in the creation of a spiritual and blessed
atmosphere in our family. This family of Shi'i jinn were in love with Imam Hussain (as). When the
mourning sessions took place, they would seat themselves outside of the wall of our house and
would weep with the remembrance of the suffering of Aba 'Abdillah (as).

When my wife was ill, they would sit outside our home and pray for her health with the recitation
of the Holy Quran! One time my wife's condition was very bad. We didn't have anyone in
Tehran; there was only one neighbor with whom we usually left the children and went to the
hospital.

That day our neighbor wasn't there. I put my trust in God and left my two young children of five
and three years of age alone at home until the afternoon. I was extremely worried. When I
returned, I saw that nothing went wrong; the children had even gotten food from the refrigerator
themselves and had eaten.

On the other end of life, I saw that when I left the home, this family of jinn watched our children
until we returned!

I witnessed a few other strange events related to jinns and their relationships that I can't
recount. I only learned that Shi'i jinn have a positive impact on believers whether we want it or
not, and they offer a great deal of help of which the people are unaware.

However, when I had a near-death experience, I left the hospital. When I passed by the street, I
realized that a lady with an extremely poor hijab could see me while others could not! She came
directly toward me. As she got a little closer, she was suddenly frightened! She went backward
a bit and disappeared in an instant! She flew away from me like a bird. There I realized that she
was of the disbelieving jinn.1

1
In the material world, there are certain unobservable creatures that cannot be understood through the natural
senses. One of these creatures is jinn. Jinn, which means "concealment," is concealed from the eyes of human
beings. The Holy Quran has certified their existence and there is a chapter by the name of "Jinn" in the Quran. The
nature of these creatures is not clear, but one can ascertain some of their characteristics from the Quranic verses and
The Boy Next Door
We had a very good family as our neighbor. In Tehran, we had very few family members and
acquaintances. So, our neighbor, who was very kind to us, watched our children most times
during my wife's illness and chemotherapy, which lasted a long time.

This family had a son that was extremely innocent, simple, and docile. During his adolescent
years, he would accompany his parents to the mosque.

However, when he grew and reached high school age, he went after friends who were a bad
influence and became disrespectful. He often stood up against his parents and what they said.

They advised him a lot, but it was useless. After a bit, this boy started a relationship with one of
the girls who would visit our neighborhood. This girl took full advantage of this boy's simplicity!

At the request of his parents, I spoke with this boy a lot. I approached him as a friend.

But my advice was also useless. He insisted that he wanted to marry this girl and start a good
life. No matter how much I told him that this girl is not suitable for marriage, he didn't listen. On
the other side of life, I saw the story of the relationship between this girl and boy till the end. To
my surprise, I saw that this girl's brother was part of an enemy organization (Mujahideen e
Khalgh) outside of the country and he tried to attract certain individuals to this group. This girl
was engaging in relationships with several boys and attracting them alongside her to join this
group of hypocrites!

I witnessed that, in the future, this boy's fate was spoiled because of the curses of his parents.

He ran away from home with this girl and a few others and, after enduring much difficulty, went
to a European country. In order to obtain refugee status, they had to join the enemy
organization. I saw that this boy did not reach the girl nor did he benefit from his life. The
misfortunes of this world and the next did not leave him.

I saw his cries in a foreign land where he regretted not staying by his family.

religious traditions. For example, they are created from fire and were created prior to human beings; Jinns are also
responsible for their actions like humans. A group of them are believers and others are disbelievers, some of them
are well-mannered and others are ill-mannered; some of them are male and another sect of them are female and
they are fertile; they live and die; they possess reason and free will and can move quickly as in the story of Prophet
Solayman (as) and Queen Bilqis; they can be constrained by humans. It is narrated in traditions that they are either
Shi'i Muslims or disbelievers and the believing jinn would serve the Imams. But as to where jinn are located on earth
has not been stated clearly even though certain narrations point to locations like deserts, quiet areas, places that are
najis, and so on. What is certain is that jinn like humans are material creatures with the difference that humans were
created from dirt and jinn from fire.
Unfortunately, all of this took place two years after my return. I knew the story and no matter
how hard I tried to convince him, I couldn't. You could say that the eyes and ears of this boy
were blocked.1

Another person who I visited on those nights was a seemingly faithful shopkeeper in our
neighborhood. Someone who I trusted greatly and I would believe whatever he said without
question.

I realized that this shopkeeper would act very slyly and easily trick people.

However, he thought he was clever. He earned a great deal of wealth this way. I saw that he
would lose all that wealth in the future and only his accounting on the Day of Judgment and all
of the people he was indebted to were left for him.

I learned from childhood not to hold a grudge against anyone but the enemies of Islam.

So I had forgiven a lot of the people who thought they were clever and owed me in terms of
people's rights; however, not in the sense that I allowed anyone to take advantage of me, rather
I didn't hold a grudge against anyone because I had no desire that they be delayed or endure
difficulty on the other side of life because of violations of my rights. So, I forgave everyone.
During the review of my deeds, this very subject was displayed for me. I saw that when I
forgave others, my sins were forgiven and this lightened my burden.

***

Most nights my fever would worsen. I would constantly fall in and out of consciousness. This
would occur almost every night. Then I would calm down and my soul would travel.

I gained experiences that were worth the world to me. For example, my friends would all
confess that they have never seen me angry. God had really given me the ability to be patient
and thankful to Him in the worst of conditions.

However, when I watched the review of my deeds, I saw that once I yelled at my daughter
without reason! That same day my daughter fought with her younger brother.

God only knows how this inappropriate expression of anger negatively impacted my family and
the spirit of my children. This improper shouting even influenced their fate!

All of these events and the other stages of my life were present before my eyes in full detail.

1
In a narration of the Prophet (s), it is said that disobeying one's parents is one of the sins for which humans will be
punished in this world (Nahj al-Fasaha, p. 165). In Mi'raj al-Sa'adah it is narrated, "Disobeying one's parents
guarantees the shortness of one’s lifespan, bitterness of life, poverty, worries and difficulties in parting this world, and
the intensity of the throes of death."
The Office Manager
Another event that I witnessed during one of my experiences was being present in an office.

I happened to enter one of the government offices that people visited for construction issues.

I saw that I was in the manager’s office. Perhaps God wanted me to be there to see the
reasoning and essence of some of the actions and decisions of managers because I also
performed managerial work for some time.

I saw that one of the employees entered the manager's office. Then this manager started
yelling, "How come you didn't do what I asked correctly? What a mess you’ve made? I have to
terminate your contract..."

This poor employee tried his best, but didn't have the capacity for more.

After this manager's threats of firing, punishment, and more, this employee left the manager's
office in sadness and shame.

On his way home in the afternoon, he argued with the taxi driver.

When he entered his house, he responded to his wife, who wanted to speak with him, with
screams and shouts and he transferred the same angry temperament and negative thoughts to
her!

His wife then yelled at the children and this chain continued. All of these negative thoughts
spread from the office manager, transferred to the fate of many people, and the sin associated
with it was recorded in the manager's book of deeds!

I saw that all good or bad actions, no matter how small, impact our fate.

Once again, another employee entered the manager's office. He had complaints that he hadn't
received payment for overtime work for a few months and he was behind on rent for his home
this month. With a proud look, the manager said, "There is no money. Don't you know what
state the country is in? There's no budget; I can't pay anyone overtime for now." He left
dejected.

The next person was one of the department's contract and service employees. He entered,
greeted the manager politely, and said, "Sir, it's been four months that I haven't received my
salary. I really don't know what to do. I'm here from morning till evening. I don't have anyone
else to borrow from."

The manager raised his voice again and said, "Go after something else. Can't you see how
things are? There's no sign of money anytime soon."
After looking at the face of that young service worker, I saw something that greatly outraged me!
That same day the young man said to his wife, "There's no money; I can't borrow anything from
anyone. Go get something for dinner by yourself."

The young simple-minded lady went to the supermarket at the corner and said, "May I get some
eggs and a packet of bread? We live right here and I'll get you the money on the first of the
month. You can keep my ID as a deposit."

The sick-minded shopkeeper said, "Of course, do you want anything else?" Then he added a
pack of cheese and other things to her groceries and handed them to her.

The next day the same thing happened. He called this lady by her first name and made a joke
with her and they both laughed. The young lady was happy that a good shopkeeper was in the
area!

The lady’s husband, who seemed to have no choice in such conditions, didn't say anything.

In the upcoming days, these jokes and the lady's shopping increased. The shopkeeper even
gave the lady pocket money, but...

The story ended with the lady becoming corrupted and losing her honor!

However, the important point is that I saw a decent budget, more than enough to pay the salary
of the contract workers and overtime pay of the employees in this office, but because of the
luxurious taste of this manager, he bought new furniture and renovated and decorated the office
building with the money that was designated for salary and overtime. Some of the higher-up
officials even encouraged him!

I saw that other employees also encountered problems and difficulties; the lives of some of
them were on the verge of collapse.

However, the important point is that all of their sins were written for the manager in addition to
their own book of deeds! The sins were even recorded for the higher-up managers who
encouraged his luxurious taste at any cost!

You could say that God wanted me, in my position of managerial work for some time, to become
aware of the reality of certain officials and realize that a manager guarantees heaven for himself
through righteous actions and creates a dark fate for himself with inappropriate decisions and
personal spending from the public treasury.
Life
When I saw Azrael and all of my actions were presented before me, I saw a moment from my
youth in the shrine of Imam Ridha (as). I had forgotten that moment, but I remembered it well
then.

I had said to Imam Ridha (as), "I want you to make decisions for me in life. I want to work in a
government that is waiting for the reappearance of Imam Mahdi (aj). I'll try to act on the
obligatory and forbidden actions that I know, and you place me on the path that you know is
right."

This prayer and event had a great impact on my life. I experienced many difficulties in my work
life. They would file charges against me for lame excuses!

Whenever the lovers of the world wanted to remove me from their path, I reached a higher
position and level and this was all from the mercy of God.

Even in some of the important security cases, I saw God's favorable hand. When all of the
doors would close and we didn't know where a certain spy was hiding, we would put in all our
effort and simultaneously raise our empty hands toward God and would say, "O God, if you
don't come to our aid, we can't do anything."

I witnessed several times that in these moments the locks would open and the knots untie.

Occasionally we would follow another case and pursue a different project. All of our forces were
sincerely working in the way of God and seeking God's help at the time; I would see that
suddenly we would become aware of a large spy channel from that very case that had infiltrated
the office of certain government officials! By identifying them, we arrest all the relevant parties.

All these achievements were due to the special favors of God since the situation of our country
and its infrastructure were not comparable with the enemy's. It was only the favor of God that
exposed these enemies.

I wished in those moments to return to the world again and work more sincerely solely for the
satisfaction of God this time. My belief was further strengthened in that nothing in this world has
more worth than taking steps in the path toward God's satisfaction. The world is too worthless
for humans to work for it. God's bounty is worth a thousand times more than this world and its
treasures, and for someone to benefit from the world’s blessing, only the will of the All-Merciful
God is needed.

However, I realized through those experiences that the perfection of a human being does not lie
in obtaining the blessings and wealth of this world because if our perfection was in wealth and
worldly life, the Ahl al-Bayt (as) should have been the role models for obtaining that wealth.

A human's perfection is in the extent to which he moves in the path of God Almighty and
performs his responsibilities. Then, if we submit to God's commands, He will show us what is
unseen and important for us. He will even reveal things to us so that we gain motivation in the
Godly path.
The Retribution for Deeds
The next day my soul once again left my body. Each time this happened I expected to see some
realities of this world that would change my outlook.

During these experiences, if I looked at anybody, I would become aware of their lives, from the
beginning to the end and with all their conditions and thoughts. I even realized the impact of the
actions of others with a single look!

Outside of the hospital, there was a skyscraper under construction. I looked at the elevated and
beautiful construction of the skyscraper. The tower's owner was standing next to the civil
engineer, looking at his building.

However, I saw that, not only this skyscraper, but none of the wealth that he gathered would
remain with him! I saw that this person's wealth was extremely lacking in blessings and he
would leave this world in desolation. But for what reason?!

This man's brother had passed away and he didn't pay the share of his brother's orphaned
children when he divided the inheritance of his father. This very incident and the cries of those
orphaned children dragged his life to a plight. Now he remained with the regret of the spent
wealth and the rights of those orphans. It was even more interesting that a house similar to the
one he built was prepared for him in Hell and he was suffering from torture and fire in that very
house!

Then they told him that all his brother's young children and even their children and lineage that
were to benefit from this property have to grow up and die and enter into Barzakh; if you are
able to obtain their satisfaction, you will be saved!1

I distanced myself from the hospital a bit. A car was waiting behind a red light at the
intersection. A young woman with poor hijab and heavy makeup was passing by the crosswalk
in front of this car.

I saw that the driver was mesmerized by this woman's looks even though his wife was sitting
next to him and peeking at her husband out of the corner of her eye!

Their daughter, who was only 12 years old, was sitting behind them in the backseat. When I
saw the driver, I came to know him from beginning to end! I remember well that, even with one
look, I learned his name, which was Farshid, his city of birth, who his parents are, and even
what characteristics he had and so on.

1
“Someone who unjustly takes the wealth of his brother in faith and does not return it to the owner will eat from
flames of fire on the Day of Judgment,” Imam Sadiq (as) (Wasail al-Shia, v. 11, p. 642).
I even knew what he was saying in his head about the girl that passed! His mind was occupied
with information about her physical appearance! Then he thought of his wife who was slightly
overweight and said in his head, "All these beautiful women and I ended up with a fat cow!"

I even saw that this man's wife, who realized what her husband was doing, said in her head, "If I
were to put on this much make up and wear tight clothes, I would be more beautiful than this
woman."

Suddenly I saw that this driver would bring his life to shambles in the upcoming years because
of his lewdness and wandering eyes. They would get a divorce and their child would greatly
suffer psychologically. Their daughter's normal life was disrupted and she suffered many
problems.

I saw that the filth and sins of this man would impact his future offspring up to seven generations
later! I even saw that his wife was subjected to lewdness after the divorce! However, when I
looked at the essence of the actions of that young woman with a poor hijab, who was present on
the streets with a flashy appearance, I saw something stranger.

I saw that more than one hundred males looked at her on that day alone, some of whom had
wives who were not as attractive. They felt regret in their hearts. Some of them didn't have the
conditions for marriage. By looking at this person, they became drowned in sin and so on.

It was revealed to me that all of these people's sins were ascribed to this woman! It was also
shown to me that, because of all the corruption and pollution that this woman created, she
would not enjoy her own life and she would suffer.

I saw that in the plains of the Day of Judgment this young lady searched for Farshid and
hundreds of others for a thousand years to seek forgiveness! Because she was one of the
people who caused the destruction of Farshid's life and hundreds of others like Farshid.

I realized that this make up and poor hijab, apart from being a sin against God, relates to a form
of people's rights.

These people make themselves appear more attractive than reality with a dress that is
deceiving and accompanied by a plethora of beautifying equipment, and this act ruins the lives
of people every day.

However, God has left the door of repentance open for all His servants, but the lasting impact of
certain sins is not erased with repentance. Similar to someone who injures his body. Even if this
individual repents, the effects of his actions on his body will remain.
The Smallest Act of Oppression
Everything in the presence of God was precise; no indecent act or the smallest act of
oppression will be left without an answer on the other side of life. Even if someone only supports
an oppressor because of what they hear or for any other reason, this act of theirs is an act of
oppression and they have to answer for it.

It is narrated that the great mystic, Sheikh Rajabali Khayyat, went to the shrine of Hadhrat Abd
al-Adhim Hasani in the center of the city of Rey, and spoke in praise of how its surroundings
were paved. At that moment, he witnessed darkness in his heart! They told him, "The
oppressive Reza Shah had seized many people's houses, he oppressed a large number of
people in this area, and paved the area around this place with cement. You shouldn't speak in
praise about this oppression."

However, one of the things that I saw in those moments was related to the smallest of
oppressive acts to the people. Things that we encounter on a daily basis and ignore easily!

A while ago I wanted to park my car in a narrow street and go to the hospital where my wife was
hospitalized. I could have gone a little further where there was more parking space, but I said I'll
just park here between these cars.

I went back and forth in this space a few times until the car fit in the parking space. This all took
about a minute.

Seven vehicles were waiting for me to enter the parking space and clear the way for them.

I saw this scene when reviewing my life. I wasted their time, even if only a little, and I frustrated
them. Two of them kept on honking. They were in a rush, but they arrived late to their work. I
was partially responsible for this.

When reviewing my deeds, I wanted to say that the street was narrow and parking was difficult,
but they explained to me that there was room a little further up the street and you wanted to be
closer. I didn't have anything left to say. They told me that I must seek forgiveness in the valley
of people's rights from these seven individuals!

I said to myself, "Then all of these people who bother others by stopping out of place, double
parking, and other issues...oh. What kind of place is this valley of people's rights!"

Another time, my wife went to the hospital in our car. I went there from work and we decided to
go back together. When I reached the car, I saw that a big scratch was on the body of the car!

My wife didn't park the car correctly. It was very clear that a large car had passed by and
scratched our car. I forgave that driver right there as I was accustomed to doing so that he
wouldn't be liable for people's rights. We were also responsible for parking incorrectly.
I saw this scene in its entirety when reviewing my deeds. A garbage truck had passed by that
street and scratched our car. I even saw the driver who was responsible for it.

The more important point is that he could have easily passed, but he purposefully scratched the
car! But I forgave him so he wouldn't suffer.
A Life for a Life
I heard many times that God is Jabbar. In my youth, they would use the word jabbar to describe
dictatorial and oppressive people; I always wondered why the word jabbar was a characteristic
of our Merciful Lord, until our teacher said, "One of the meanings of the word jabbar is one who
makes up for things. God Almighty makes up for that which you spend in His path. Even if you
take a step or do something small for the pleasure of God, you will see that He returns it to you
in greater amounts.”

I also witnessed some information in reviewing my deeds that was very educational and
interesting.

For example, during my youth, I dedicated a lot of time to guide the local youth and my friends.
We would plan gatherings and educational programming so that we could have an impact on
their spiritual growth.

During my youth, I was less cautious than I am now! I saw death in front of my eyes multiple
times. I almost drowned in the Dorudzan Dam of the Fars Province on two occasions. One time
I completely felt death.

Some difficult illnesses befell me that I thought I could not escape, but God showed me His
favor.

I should've died in a car accident on three separate occasions. Anyone who saw the accident
scene would ask, "How are you alive? How are you not injured?"

In reviewing my actions, I saw a sentence that was interesting to me. It said, "A life for a life."
They explained to me that in the mosque and youth groups, I had saved many lives from
becoming polluted with corruption, misguidance, and drugs, and in return my life was protected
from ailments and problems.

They even showed me that, because I sincerely dedicated time to God, He gifted me my first
trip to Karbala. The same trip that resulted in the pardoning of all of my past sins—that was a
gift from God.

ُ ‫ص ُروا اللَّـهَ يَن‬

There I completely realized the meaning of the verse of Quran: ‫ص ْر ُك ْم‬ ُ ‫إِن ت َن‬. “If you help
[the religion of] God, God will help you.” [47:7] God does not care about our numbers. He wants
us to sincerely work for His satisfaction and dedicate all of our potential and energy toward Him.

I realized that whoever works for the protection of the country and Islamic government, God will
help him in the best of ways.
My return was actually for this reason. I went on my work trips sincerely and without seeking
any reward.1

1
In the book Wasail al-Shia v. 11, p. 240 it is narrated from Imam Ridha (as), "Whenever God's servants facilitate a
new sin that did not exist before, God will send a new punishment to them that did not exist before. For example, the
Aids epidemic corresponded approximately with the time when Western countries legalized homosexuality!" I saw
many things on this trip that confirmed this narration. I saw diseases that afflicted humans and had different causes.
For example, I saw that people take animals home in place of a spouse and children and they would encounter
problems for this very reason. I hope that God will grant us the opportunity of servitude and obedience to His
commands so that we are not affected by affliction and disease.
The Army of Angels
The next day that I was in the hospital, I opened my eyes with difficulty. My wife and two
brothers were at my bedside.

The TV in front of me was turned on. My brothers were watching the news. I asked, "What
happened?"

They said, "Israel attacked Gaza again."

As soon as my eyes fell on the TV, I saw a young Palestinian take out the mangled body of a
child from under the rubble and hold it to the camera.

This one scene was enough for me to feel sick again and lose consciousness. This time I left
my body very quickly. When I sensed my exit from my body, I was in a good spirit and condition.

I was able to grasp the nature of whoever and whatever I saw and I could understand their
thoughts. That is why I really enjoyed being in this state.

For example, as soon as I looked at my wife, I realized that she was worried about something.
My wife really dreamed of driving. The day I went on my work trip and before she was
hospitalized for chemotherapy, she drove my car and had an accident with a Nissan Junior, but
she didn't tell me anything. Well, she never actually got the opportunity to say anything.

But it took one look for me to realize everything! I saw that some of my friends came to visit me
and they could see me from behind the window of the solitary room, but I saw what was in their
heads and what they were thinking about!

That day when I saw the torn body of that child in Gaza on TV, I shouted internally and said, "O
God, You see all this oppression against Muslims, so when will you take revenge from the
oppressors?

O God, how many decades have the innocent people of Palestine been at war with the Zionist
enemy and gave martyrs, but America and the United Nations and the Security Council don't do
anything. O God..."

Suddenly I saw that I was standing in an open and green field. My eyes fell upon the sky. I had
never seen the sky look that way. It was mid-day and the sky was bright, but I saw a large
number of God's angels that were entirely armed, shielded in armor, and ready for combat!

They were seated on their riding animals and their number was so large that half the sky was
darkened! You could say that God created millions of angels like our soldiers! I said to myself,
"Where were all of these soldiers? I wonder if they're here for the destruction of Israel."

Behind me and to the left, a dignified individual with tens of guards was standing, but I couldn't
see his face. He said to me, "Do you have a question?"
All my thoughts were occupied by the struggle and battle against Israel and I said, "What are all
of these fighters, all of these soldiers, doing in the sky?"

He said, "These are all God's angels. God's command is in their hands. Wherever God wants to
accomplish something, he does it through these angels." I said, "What does God's command
mean?"

He said, "God's particular commands and orders that are destined to be done on earth are
called God's commands."

Then he continued, "When God Almighty wants to accomplish something on earth that is related
to humans, these angels do it."

I asked, "Then why are they armed?"

He said, "Wherever the Shi’a stand up for the sake of God and exert all of their efforts but fall
short and seek divine help, God will command a group of armed angels to go to their aid."

Suddenly I remembered the battle of Badr during the time of the Holy Prophet (s). The Muslims
stood against the enemy with all their strength, but it was obvious that they fell short against
them; God helped them with angels in accordance with the verses of the Holy Quran.

I said, "I just saw how the Muslims in Gaza were attacked. Why don't you help them?"

He said, "No, no one has risen up against the oppressors and asked for help."

I said, "I saw myself that the innocent people of Gaza are under Israeli bombings and are asking
for help."

He said, "Take 50,000 angels with you to wherever you want. If you see that they sincerely call
out to God and ask for help, help them."

I became happy and started moving. A large group of armed angels that looked like military
forces accompanied me in the sky. We arrived at the sky of Palestine. The sound of explosions,
fire, and blood was present on the Gaza strip. I pointed to the angels and said, "Go and destroy
these Zionist Israelis."

An individual standing behind me said, "No, this is not the way of God. The lives of all these
oppressors are in our hands and, with the order of God, they will all die." I said, "Then how will
you help?"

He said, "It is necessary that the Shi’a rise with the intention of God's pleasure and jihad for
saving the people, and employ all of their abilities and resources. When they come up short
against the enemy, they appeal to God and ask for help so that these angels rush to their aid."

I said, "You mean that no one has risen for God's pleasure and asked for help?"
He said, "Go see for yourself."

I went after the commanders of the Palestinian military forces. They were all gathered together
and busy making decisions.

I was waiting for them to sincerely call out to God so that I can help them with God's angels, but
to my surprise I saw that one of them said, "I wrote a letter to the UAE. In the United Nations,
they have to..."

Another said, "This time we should target more Israeili cities with our missiles. Be sure that we
will bring Israel to its knees again."

Another person said, "This Arab governmental official has millions of dollars ready for us; we
just don't know how to transfer it to Gaza.”

The other one said, "Don't allow other resistance groups to record our victory against Israel in
their name. We are the only ones busy fighting..."

I said, "Oh my, none of them spoke of God. What am I supposed to do with this group of
angels?!"

I said to myself that I'll go to Iraq with this congregation of angels. Daesh has attacked Iraq and
now the Iraqi people, who are mostly Shi’a, have heard the commands of the scholarly
authorities and must be calling out to God sincerely.
For God Alone
I went amongst the Iraqi soldiers and fighters. They were busy supplicating and calling out to
God.

I was happy, but when I paid closer attention, I realized that like other Arab countries, Iraq
places great importance on tribes, nations, and clans.

Many of the Iraqi fighters spoke of their own people and tribe and they tried to prove the
superiority of their tribe!

I went after the leaders of the resistance groups in Iraq. Unfortunately, I saw that some of them
who wore the dress of Islamic scholars were trying to eliminate their competitors rather than
contribute to the sincere fight against Daesh!

Meaning that they purposely do something so that some Shi'i military group with differing
opinions is destroyed and they are left as the sole Arab military group in the political sphere!

Some of them acted like sects. Not only were they not upset by these conditions, but they
watched the failure of other resistance groups happily!

I became very upset and worried that I couldn't be of any help in Gaza or Iraq. But I didn't lose
hope and I said to myself, "As long as I have these angels under my command, I have to help
the resistance movements in the region.”

I said to the group of angels, "We'll set out to Yemen. Saudia Arabia has begun a bad attack
against the Muslims of Yemen and they’re under a complete blockade. They entered the
battlefield bravely and they have no other option but to seek help from God Almighty."

I went to one of the frontlines of battle. It was around midnight and the brave Yemeni soldiers
were seated in their trenches. Some of the field commanders were also present there.

From what was said and what passed through their hearts, I learned things that made me
hopeless once again.

One was saying, "Sada is our birthplace, the home of the brave. We will never let it fall."

Another was saying, "We the youth of the tribe have to prove that we are braver than all of the
youth of Yemen."

The commander was saying, "How long do we have to be under the dominance of Saudia
Arabia. We have to prove that we can govern Yemen..."
I returned to the sky. I exited the Muslim countries that were suffering with war. I believed that
the sayings of that individual were correct. I didn't see the Muslims in any war take all their
livelihood to the battlefield and sincerely call out to God so that they can see God's aid.1

1
Perhaps narrating these experiences and that which occurred in the year 2014 does not make sense in the present
time, but I wanted to say exactly what I witnessed. Today, with the help of God, the unity of the Iraqi Shi’a, the power
of the Popular Mobilization Forces (Hashd al-Sha’bi), and the noble Islamic leaders of Iraq has solved this country's
problems well. Additionally, the unity of the Shi’a of Yemen under the leadership of revoluntary commanders like Abd
al-Mulk al-Houthi as well as the unity of Lebanon's Hizbollah with the Palestinian groups of Hamas and the Islamic
Jihad and the sincere efforts for the pleasure of God have solved many problems.
The Guardian of Our Time
I was distraught by what I saw. I went to the green field and observed the group of millions of
armed angels again.

I was upset by the fact that people didn't sincerely call out to God as they didn't strive in His
path and they could experience God's assistance.

Didn't the same thing happen in our country? I saw that in the liberation of Khorramshahr, the
people entered the battlefield with all their strength and called to God sincerely and He granted
them the greatest of victories.

I saw that Imam Khomeini immediately sent a message that Khoramshahr was liberated by
God. Meaning that if God Almighty's special aid and favor was absent, we would not have been
able to attack the enemy with the financial resources we had and collect more captives than the
attacking forces.

If the Shi’a and Muslims sincerely sought help from God like those days, there would be no
Israel left in the Middle East nor would there be any Wahhabi regimes dependent on America
and the West.

I was upset. I didn't know what to do. On one hand, I was upset because of all the oppression
and war that occurred in Islamic countries and on the other hand, I didn't know what to do?!

Suddenly, the same individual who stood behind me and I couldn't see his face, started
speaking and said, "Look at this button. If I press this, not one of your enemies like Israel and
others would remain alive. However, it is not God's way to act in this manner. God wants you to
reach a destination. He wants you to fight and struggle. If you prepare yourself and sincerely
engage in jihad and call to Him, you will see God Almighty's favor. The enemies of Ahl al-Bayt
(as) are like foam on the surface of the water. Their foundation is more frail than a spider's web
while you are strong and firm and progress with the favor of God. It is of God's kindness toward
you that He wants you to grow in this manner."

Then he said to me, "You saw what happened. These angels have been waiting for years with
complete equipment for the sincere prayer of the Shi’a to enter the battlefield. They are waiting
for a sincere move from the Shi’a.”

Then I said with surprise, "You mean if no one does anything, the angels won't help?"

He said, "Only under one condition, the infallible Imam of our time can announce God's
command. If the infallible Imam wants, everything will change.”

Then he continued, “In the time of occultation, the guardian (Wali Amr) of the Muslims can
command them too."
I was thinking about what he meant by the guardian of the Muslims, and suddenly I saw a large
image amidst the regiment of angels that contained the portrait of Imam Khomeini and the
Supreme Leader.
The Impact of Invocation
On the tenth night, I was hospitalized in a solitary room. It was the first time my headache had
lessened.

The physicians were pleased with my condition and they would say, "If his condition improves,
he'll be transferred to the public division."

It was late at night when I lost consciousness again. This was the last time I had a near-death
experience.

This time I didn't want to go anywhere; nothing happened. I was certain that if someone is truly
with God, he becomes the will of God, meaning that God assists him in any state.

However, if someone forgets God and attaches himself to material means and causes, he
becomes dependent on those material means.

That night I went to the sky. I didn't feel like traveling through the city any more. Suddenly I saw
myself in the shrine of Imam Hussain (as)!

But Karbala, who knows where Karbala is?! Who knows what rank Imam Hussain (as) has in
the presence of God?!

In the year 2003 after the fall of Saddam, I traveled to Karbala for the first time.

I endured many difficulties. After several hard days, I entered Karbala and said salam to my
Master from the bottom of my heart.

During the review of my actions, I witnessed all the sins I had committed prior to entering the
shrine of Imam Hussain (as) were forgiven with a single sincere and insightful visit. You don't
know how good it felt.

However, after this trip, many of my good deeds were eliminated with mistakes and sins. They
would show me a certain incorrect action had spoiled the good acts of that day.

I should also say that the review of my deeds happened very quickly and ultimately everything
was accounted for!

Almost every good action I had completed was erased from wrong actions. However, they told
me, "You can enter heaven."

Heaven was granted to me through intercession, not because I was worthy of entering God's
heaven. The review of my deeds lasted no more than a second.

It was I who judged my actions. I saw I was left with nothing!

However, after my trips to Karbala in the 2000s, I did not have the opportunity to visit for several
years. Thus, when I went toward Karbala that night, I once again encountered a sea of light in
the sky.

When I entered the shrine of Aba 'Abdillah (as), I realized that its outer courtyard had a ceiling!

This event occurred in the early 2010s. I moved on top of the rugs. I would continuously send
salams and recite the ziyarah.

I paid attention to the beauty of the shrine and the changes that had taken place with wonder.

In the shrine's new renovation, a small tomb was built in a corner of the dharih where Imam
Hussain (as) was martyred. I sent my salams there and then walked back.

The shrine was completely empty and my presence went unnoticed. Suddenly, I saw one of the
shrine's service workers, one of those who have a trumpet and green turban, come toward me.

He saw me. He carried a tray with two receipts of donation to the shrine. One of them was
white, bright, and large which had writing I was unable to read. The other bill was smaller and it
had written on the bottom, "Sayyid al-Karim."

He said to me, "One of the receipts has been written for you and is taken care of. Write
whatever amount you want on the second one that is smaller. How much have you vowed (to
donate)?" I said, "50,000 tomans."

He said, "Take the receipt, you have been granted intercession."

I took the receipt; suddenly I was pulled into my body. I saw that my wife was sitting at my
bedside and crying.

Thank God my headache was healed. I could open my eyes with ease.

My wife said, "Good news. The doctor gave permission for your discharge. Tomorrow, you'll be
discharged and we'll go home together. My chemotherapy has also finished."

Then she said, "Yesterday afternoon I went for ziyarah to Hazrat 'Abd al-Adhim with one of our
acquaintances in the city of Rey. I pleaded to him so that God could heal you sooner." The next
day, I felt much better. I could easily get out of bed and walk around in the room. I was
discharged that day.

I left the hospital with my brother and wife. I asked if I could visit Hazrat 'Abd al-Adhim first.

Despite their worries for my condition, they accepted. I walked very slowly in the shrine.

I became tired at the grave of Ayatollah Shah Abadi so I sat on a chair for the servants of the
shrine.
At that moment, one of the shrine's servants came forth and suddenly placed a tray in front of
me that had two sets of bills on it.

He said, "Do you have any vows?" I replied, "Yes, 50,000 tomans."

I paid the money and he returned a white receipt, similar to the one I got the night before in the
shrine of Imam Hussain (as)! On the receipt was written, "Sayyid al-Karim!"

I just realized that Hazrat 'Abd al-Adhim Hasani's title is Sayyid al-Karim and the majority of
people in Tehran call him by this name.

I also came across an interesting narration from Imam Hadi (as). It is narrated in the book Kamil
al-Ziyarat, "He said to an individual that was set for Karbala from the city of Rey, "If you have
made pilgrimage to the grave of 'Abd al-Adhim Hasani near you, it is as if you visited Hussain
the son of Ali (as),” showcasing the importance of visiting of this great personality. This event
was strange for me. We went home from there.
Difficult Days
My wife's condition worsened day by day. I was in the office from morning till evening and then I
went around town desperately looking for my wife's medications. Chemotherapy medications
had become scarce.

The cost of my wife's medications was three times more than my monthly salary! I would take a
loan from whomever possible.

When I would arrive home in the evenings, I was met with a wife who was bed-ridden and my
entire life was in shambles. However, I didn't give myself permission to complain.

I said to myself, "I shouldn't be ungrateful. This innocent and kind woman has uplifted and
brought order to my life for the past few years."

The Kind Lord whose mercy I've seen is a witness and onlooker to my actions. This is enough
for me.

When I would enter the house, the kids would be hungry. I would cook food, wash the dishes
and tidy our home. I would try to make jokes with my wife in hope to ease her pain. Six months
later, these conditions became unbearable. I really wasn't able to tend to the children.

They were naughty kids and, apart from God, there was no one watching them. So, with the
advice of my wife's family, we set out to Qom.

I borrowed money from my friends again and we rented a house near my mother-in-law’s home
using the deposit money I had from the house in Tehran.

At five in the morning, I would set out to Tehran from Qom and at five in the afternoon, I would
travel back to Qom from Tehran. All with the hope that one day my wife would beat cancer and
be able to embrace her children again.

I should also say that after the experiences I had in the hospital, I became more sensitive to
many issues, especially those related to people's rights. My efforts in the office were more than
others.

I would arrive earlier in the mornings and leave later in the afternoons. I was careful not to
entangle myself in the problems that I witnessed. On the other hand, I became more sensitive to
spending from the public treasury than before.

During one of my work trips, two of my friends walked on the rug of a suspect's home with
shoes. When the suspect was arrested, I stayed and cleaned the carpet because the house
belonged to his mother and I didn't want to violate the rights of others like that.

However, something that happened in the second half of the year 2015 was interesting to me. It
was a family trip to Karbala under those critical conditions.
I went on a pilgrimage to Karbala on the Arbaeen of that year. Before traveling, my wife insisted
that I take her too. However, considering her poor health, I refused and set out to Karbala alone.
Along the way, my foot was severely injured, it was so painful that I had difficulty walking.
Nevertheless, I arrived in Karbala.

When I saw the state in which the Iraqi women and children were along the way to Karbala, I
regretted not taking my wife, who was in the last years of her life, to Karbala. On the morning of
Arbaeen after morning prayer, I recited the supplication of ziyarah and quickly returned to Iran.

My wife, who was very upset and had dreamed of a trip to Karbala, looked at me with envy.
Suddenly my heart was touched and I said, "Do you want to go to Karbala together?" She
became very happy and said, "The state of my illness hasn't changed. But let's at least go on
one trip to Karbala."

It's hard to believe, but we packed our bags that same day and went to the border of Tehran
with my two children and our personal car.

The next morning, we were at the border and everyone else was returning. We crossed the
border and entered the land of Iraq. But no transportation service could be found.

No one would take us in their car no matter how much we begged. I also had brought 400,000
tomans with me, meaning I didn't have any more.

One of the vehicles wanted that exact amount of payment to take us to Karbala! In my head I
said that the tents were taken down, what are we supposed to do for shelter and food? What
about the return fare?

I was extremely tired. On my personal trip, I had walked 100 km with an injured foot and I no
longer had the energy for walking.

I was in the middle of financial calculations when I suddenly realized a special favor that I
witnessed from the start of my trip!

From the moment we left Tehran, everything just fell into place on its own! Even though the
route to the border of Tehran was one-way, we were able to travel to Mehran with our personal
car.

From Mehran to the border point, we went with the border control vehicle and a car was waiting
for us exactly behind the wall of the Mehran border so that we could go to the Iraqi garage. This
was all given that, during my first trip, I traveled all this way by foot. I realized that I should not
be calculative during this family trip.

All of a sudden, an Iraqi car passed by us, but it returned and the driver and his brother who
was next to him got out! They looked at us and said, "Come in." I said, "How much is the fare?"
He said, "It's free."
We got in and started moving. These two individuals were crying all the way until we reached
Najaf. Then they drove us to the shrine without collecting a fee. The security officials would stop
cars along the way, so they took a different route to get us closer to the shrine. I knew a little
Arabic. I asked them why they stopped suddenly when at first they passed by us and wanted to
go to Karbala to bring back the pilgrims.

The driver said, "My name is Amin and my brother's name is Ayman. My brother had a dream a
while back that Aba 'Abdillah (as) said to him, "Why don't you pay attention to my pilgrims?"

My brother woke up suddenly. He said, "I saw that one man, a woman and two children were
next to the Imam (as). It appeared that the woman was ill." That's why when we passed you, my
brother suddenly said, "Stop, this is the same family!"1

However, I was still worried about shelter and food in Najaf. My reliance upon God wasn't strong
yet. I was in the shrine when I saw my brother-in-law. He was very happy to see us. He was
working in the headquarters and prepared food for us and a good place to stay. Then we went
to Karbala and had a heart-warming pilgrimage in the calm atmosphere of the shrine. Overall,
our trip to Karbala had an interesting story. We sensed the hand of God's favor well.

1
I got their phone number and was in touch with them for some time. They even came to Iran and made a pilgrimage
to Mashhad once and were our guests. They were originally from Basra. Later on, we found out that Ayman, the
young man who saw the Imam (as) in his dream, joined the Hash al-Sha'bi forces and attained martyrdom in a battle
with Daesh.
Days without You
During those days when my teaching work and security issues had greatly increased, one day I
called my mother-in-law and said, "I have a lot of work here. If possible, stay with my wife and
kids tonight. I'll come tomorrow afternoon." I continued with my work a little and then fell asleep
in the office in the middle of the night. In my dreams, I saw my late grandmother who loved me
dearly. She was standing above a pot and was busy cooking food.

I went and said, "Looks delicious! How are you? Will you give us some of this food?"

She said, "No, it's not for you. Your wife is coming and I'm making soup for her." I woke up from
my sleep. I was scared. Dear God, what kind of dream was this?

I performed the morning prayer in my office. Right after prayer my phone rang. I was always
scared of these calls at odd hours. It was my mother-in-law. The color drained from my face.

I greeted her, but she screamed and cried behind the phone.

The next afternoon I was sitting by the grave of my wife. I thought about the events of the past
two years, from the year 2013 when I went to the hospital until the year 2015 when I lost my
wife. After my hospitalization, God gave me some difficult tests. But I was never ungrateful. I
said, "O God, give me the opportunity to continue to be your servant after this and not to be
ungrateful."

Before the fortieth day after my wife's passing, a report from the surveillance of invading forces
was sent to me that a destructive team had entered the country from the western borders. We
went after them with a special team. On one hand, I was worried that I wouldn't make it in time
for the commemoration of my wife's passing, and on the other hand, I knew that if this team
entered the country, we would suffer an irreparable loss.

In the final chase and escape, we were able to arrest every member of that team. I set out to
Qom immediately. I arrived one hour before the start of the ceremony, but I was met with a cold
greeting from my wife's family. One of the security officials accompanied me. He explained to
my family what I had been doing during this time. But they were upset and asked why I came
late!

My children hadn't seen the love of a mother for a while; they became very depressed and
aggressive. Zahra was 8 years old at the time and Mohammad Ali was 6. My wife's family told
me that my children have to stay with me because they lost their mother and I must take them
and leave!

I spoke with them about taking the security deposit of the house so that I could rent a place in
Tehran. But they said that they took the deposit and spent it on the shroud, burial, and funeral
services. The money from my security deposit in Qom had disappeared. I wanted to take the
children to Tehran and rent a house, but nothing was left.
I took a deep breath. I went to my wife's grave and cried a lot. She and I loved each other. We
cared for each other deeply. Now I had to stay and raise my two children in her absence and
with a heavy workload. However, I didn't have any place in Tehran. No house, no money to rent
a place, no essentials for living...

I took the children's hands and traveled toward Tehran. I took my daughter to my brother’s
house and my son to my mother's house. I said, "Take care of these two for a while." I was busy
in the office and would sleep there at night.
The People's Rights
While I was working in the office and the children were in my mother and brother's houses, I
paid off some of my prior debts—loans that I had taken for my wife's medications. Three months
had passed since my wife's death. I thought of her each night. But I was very worried as to why
she had not contacted me yet. Why doesn't she send any messages from the other side of life?
I hope she's not having any problems!

She finally sent a message after a long time. It was just a single sentence, "Three payments
from my loan remain. I am in debt in the valley of people's rights."

No matter how much I thought, I didn't understand what she meant by three payments of the
loan. She hadn't gone anywhere in the last few years; she didn't even come close to getting a
loan.

I reviewed my loans as well. I didn't have any unpaid loans or debts. However, she had sent a
message that she was in trouble. So, I called all of the numbers in my wife's contacts and said,
"Do you know anything about the three overdue loan payments?"

After lots of investigating, I figured it out. A few years ago, my wife set up an Islamic loan
program with some women in the family. They paid a certain amount every month and each
time one person would win.

My wife won three years ago and she made her loan payments every month. When three
payments remained from the total loan amount, her illness worsened until it resulted in her
death. She hadn’t told me anything about it and the manager of that family loan was
embarrassed to tell me either. Her financial condition wasn't favorable either. She wondered
how she could have this amount returned. As soon as I found out that she was struggling for
this amount, I quickly gathered the money and transferred it. I had heard that many struggle in
the valley of people's rights, but I didn't know that it was this difficult!

One night our work in the office went overtime. I didn't have time to eat either. My brother called
late at night and said, "If possible, come take your daughter. She fights with my daughter a lot.
She wanted to wear her chador now and leave the house in a rage in the middle of the night!"

I said, "My brother, you know what kind of condition I'm in. Where can I take her?"

He said, "I don't know, just come quickly." I hung up the phone; then my mom called
immediately after. She said, "Come quickly because your son has worn us out. He keeps
making irrelevant excuses." I said, "Of course, mother." I knew that this would happen. My
children lost their mother and their father is not looking out for them. All of these behaviors were
natural. But what was I supposed to do?!
I went to the streets in the middle of the night. I took a look at the sky. Tears were pouring from
my eyes. I said, "God, help me. Everything is in your hands. I hoped to emerge victorious from
your tests. I didn't want to be ungrateful. I dreamed that I would be accepted. God help me..."1

ِ ْ ‫ َل َق ْد َخ َل ْقنَا‬. “Certainly, We have created man in hardship.” The reality is that this
1
The Holy Quran states: ‫سانَ فِي َكبَد‬
َ ‫الن‬
world is a place of hardship and struggle. (However, these struggles have a purpose and meaning. If they were
without purpose, they would become troublesome.) We expect ease and comfort from life, and, because we don't
reach it, we become upset. Ease has not fundamentally been created for this world and it is clear that asking for
something that doesn't exist is the source of suffering and torment. This world is a place of responsibility and tests,
and there is nothing in it besides responsibility and tests. Any human that enters it is for a test and any other purpose
that lies in between are all under the umbrella of tests. Imam Ali (as) stated, "The divine test (i.e. calamities and
tribulations) is a form of discipline for the wrongdoer, a test for the believer, a means to increase one’s station for the
prophets, and a means of ennoblement for the saints of Allah" (Bihar al-Anwar, v. 64, p. 235).
Ease After Difficulty
During those days, when the pressures of life became severe, I decided to set out to Syria. I
said that I would go to join the defenders of the shrine. Everything was arranged.

But I said to myself, "You were supposed to perform every action for the pleasure of God. Is
your intention truly for the satisfaction of God or to escape from the current situation?!"

I decided to stay even though I knew that staying was more difficult than leaving.

I only had God. So, I shared the secrets of my heart that night to God alone. However, I
believed in the illuminating words of God that say, "Indeed ease accompanies hardship."

I believed that life wouldn't always be like this. I was certain that after all of this difficulty, a
period of ease would also arrive.

I took the kids that night and we went to a dormitory! I took a few days off work and I stayed with
the kids in a tavern-like place. I was waiting for God's relief. I believed that this would occur
soon! During this time, many had pursued marriage proposals on my behalf but they were
rejected since they wouldn’t accept the responsibility of caring for two children. I didn't know
what to do either.

A while later, my brother and his wife set out to Shiraz. The family of his sister-in-law were
involved in a car accident.

My brother's brother-in-law passed away in that accident. A few months after the passing of that
poor man, God put it in the mind of my brother to speak about the matter.

God prepared all the means that night. My brother's wife spoke with her sister and described to
her the situation of me and my children. She also had a daughter and came to Tehran with her.

I explained the situation to the office manager. He granted us access to organizational living
accommodations. A simple ceremony was held and my new wife and her daughter came to our
home.

Everything changed overnight. Our children were no longer nagging and upset.

God completed his favor upon us. Each day, life became better.

I sold my car to pay my debts. I registered for a vehicle and was able to buy a car before prices
increased. In the year 2018, God gifted our family with Fatimah—a beautiful and lovable girl.

Now that I am speaking to you it's been one or two days since Amir Ali, our fifth child, was born.
That is the fifth child including my wife's daughter.
We haven't been short on anything at home. Even though my salary is low because of my debts
and so on, we feel the blessings. I am very indebted to the loving God. I hope that I can work for
His pleasure.

I hope that I can share with everyone what a loving God we have. If we are true servants, He
will reveal everything to us.
In Conclusion
I asked, "A question has occurred to me. Why are you in the hospital now?"

He said, "All thanks to God, my health condition is stable. However, every now and then, the
side effects of meningitis return and I fall ill for a few days. This time the doctor decided that I
should be hospitalized and have some advanced testing done.

I miss Amir Ali a lot. I want to quickly go to the Najmiyeh Hospital. I want to be discharged
sooner.

However, to conclude I should tell you that I love my family a great deal, but I am able to easily
detach myself from them. You shouldn't attach yourself to anything from this world. This world is
not a place for attachment. The next life is eternal and ever-lasting. With the blink of an eye, it
will be time to leave this place.

I tell all my friends of this example: When we want to travel to a place like Mashhad, first we
prepare the travel arrangements like means of transportation, accommodation, our suitcases,
the necessary budget, and so on, so that we don't encounter any problems over the course of
the trip.

If our trip is slightly longer, we would have to take more supplies with us. We plan for this long
trip several months prior so that we don't have any problems at our destination.

Now we want to go on a trip with no return, to the hereafter. No one knows when this trip will
begin, meaning that we should have our necessary supplies ready. How much are we prepared
for this trip?!"

If there's anything left that you want to say at the end of our interview, please do so.

God treats you with whatever manner you are with Him. I never acted methodically in my life
and in the presence of God for me to say what did You give and what didn't You give and how
much I should worship in exchange.

I try to do whatever is in my capacity for the sake of God. I was never a fan of keeping count
with God, and God tended to my needs in the blink of an eye.

I felt the meaning of the verse, "‫( "إِ َّن َم َع ْالعُس ِْر يُس ًْرا‬Indeed, with every difficulty comes ease).
However, enduring all of these difficulties was very easy for me because I knew that God is
watching. The same God who showed me the seen and unseen. The same God who showed
me the moment of my passing and martyrdom.

Another point that I have to make is that no one reprimands us in the other life. We are the ones
who see everything and act as our own judges. It is wishful thinking to rely on our prayers and
fasting and performing our obligations.
These are the tools of the journey. Tools to reach the destination. When we reach the
destination, we have to present to God what we did and what we brought for God's pleasure. If
someone wants to see an example in this area, look to the life of Imam Ali or Imam Hussain
(as).

They were the ones who dedicated themselves to God's path; they put everything they owned in
God's way and didn't ask for anything in return.

Our Master didn't say a word of grievance and complaint in the battlefield and on the Day of
Ashura. He expressed his satisfaction multiple times for what happened because he knew it
was for the satisfaction of God and He is the Witness.

Is there any other information that you saw that wasn't stated?

I cannot talk about a lot of it. During my near-death experiences, I saw many people who now
have an entourage for themselves, don't respond to anyone, have a security team, and so on
with a state that is indescribable. Injustice and selfishness toward the public treasury and
carelessness toward the rights of people brought afflictions to them that I hope no one has to
experience. Know that in a country that is claiming and awaiting the reappearance of Imam
Mahdi (aj), if someone commits treason, they will have a painful punishment because they
would have weakened people's beliefs. As martyr Rajaee said, "There is a place in hell where
the sins of 36 million people are written for us (leaders)." However, the most important point that
I gathered from all these experiences amounts to one sentence.

By no means do I insist that everyone accepts this information as I do, but I have faith in what I
am about to say and I have planned my life in the last few years based on this information and
the sentence is this: "For the pleasure of God, I will do whatever I am able to for the strength
and protection of the only government that is awaiting the reappearance of Imam Mahdi (aj)."

How do you evaluate your near-death experience?

If I want to describe this experience in a single sentence, I’d say it was a 10-day course to gain
insight into the self.

During this course prepared for me by God, I became familiar with a lot of important information
that I needed for the remainder of my life.

However, I should say that all of us humans live on this earth for a specified period and then we
will return to God.

This course is like a short trip; whoever benefits more from this time, will witness the results on
the other side of life. For example, martyr Ibrahim Hadi used the short amount of time he had to
live an upright life. He was rarely concerned with worldly affairs and was always seeking God's
pleasure. There were many other people who lived multiple times longer than martyr Hadi, but
were only after their stomachs, comfort, and the world. The difference between them will be
seen on the other side.
Thus, I've told my friends multiple times that everything is in our hands. If we are heedless
today, where the best hours of our lives are being spent, we will be regretful later on.
A Look at the Review of Life After Death
Some people take what they hear about near-death experiences and generalize it to all of life
and say, "There is nothing but love, goodness, light, and beauty." In this manner, they say that
death is a simple transfer to the world of light and beauty. It should be noted that all of those
who almost experienced death experience were those whose time of life on earth had not
finished and the Angel of Death had not initiated their transfer; rather, they had exited their
material existence for a few seconds or minutes and gained the ability to view some of the
beauties and difficulties of Barzakh. However, the number of people who realize the extent of
suffering and difficulty regarding the punishment of their actions and plea to return are not few.

However, as a whole, hearing what these people gained during their experiences is not without
benefit and to a certain extent, it can solve some of our spiritual problems. Some of them
interpret what we have heard from Quranic verses and narrations in a modern and more
beautiful way.

For example, one of the biggest questions is, in what manner and against what criteria will our
actions be analyzed and judged? In many near-death experiences, we encounter the review of
people's deeds and behaviors. One can learn about important realities of the final review by
studying these experiences:

1. We act as our own judges of our actions. We will assess the reality of our actions, decisions,
and the intentions behind them from the perspective of truth and light and separate from the
selfishness and fears that normally result in our mistakes in life decisions.

One individual who has experienced this says, "The review of my life was as if I was sitting in a
theater and watching a film of my entire past. This was the most difficult and painful part of my
experience! The truth is that no one would judge me. I had to be the judge of my actions, and
that was at a time where I was surrounded by the aura of God's love. I realized that we appraise
our own actions, and we do this, not from our personal perspective, but from the perspective of
God, which is void of egoism and emotions. The shame one feels because of his past mistakes
is very painful. I was the strictest judge when evaluating myself..."

2. The review of life is not meant as a punishment, rather it is an opportunity for learning and
spiritual growth so that we realize how our decisions affect our lives and the lives of others and
the areas where we could have acted better. Many consider the review of one's life as the most
eye-opening and important part of their experience. In the review of one's deeds, the most
important thing appears to be the impact of deeds and decisions on the lives of other people.
We would see how, with a simple act of kindness or small act of assistance, we were able to
plant the seeds of goodness in people, consequently resulting in that individual showing
compassion and goodness toward others in his own way. In this manner, a small act of
beneficence can create a wave of goodness that will spread on the earth infinitely and have a
positive impact on those we may not even know. In the same vein, we see how our selfish
actions that hurt others can have an impact that is deeper than what we imagined.
An individual who experienced a near-death experience narrated, "I once beat up a man
severely because he crashed into my car. I experienced this event again during the review of
my life; however, from two different perspectives! One from an unknown witness that made me
ashamed, and another from the perspective of the man who was beaten. I felt all of the punches
that I directed at that man, every single one of the 32 blows until he fell on the sidewalk,
unconscious. Perhaps the most important insight that we gain from reviewing our lives is a
completely different outlook on the world. Most of us say that we should treat others the way we
want to be treated, but the reality is that the way we treat others is actually how we treat
ourselves."

3. One of the reasons for reviewing our lives is so that we learn how successful we were in
performing our responsibilities in life and where we stand. Someone who lost his life due to
electrocution says about the review of his life, "A lot of the good acts that I performed were with
the intention of praise and worldly reward, but two instances received special attention in a way
that you can say that God Himself was speaking with me through His angels and all of the souls
in the sky would offer praise because of a sincere act that I performed without any selfishness.
While reviewing these two acts, I felt like I was receiving so much love as if God had taken me
in His embrace! The first act was regarding a day that I was stuck in highway traffic and I
encountered a car that was broken. I exited my car so that I could help its owner and I pushed
the car until we left the highway and entered the parking lot of a nearby supermarket. I quickly
returned to my car so the car owner didn't get a chance to thank me. The second act related
back to a time when I was 17 years old and I would work at a hospital after school. Among the
patients was an old lady who didn't have any teeth and she spoke with difficulty and no one
would come to visit her. She liked to eat a cookie before bed, but no one was willing to help her
because she would kiss the hand of those who gave her the cookie and her saliva would fall on
their hands. While others would avoid her, I would delightfully give her the cookies that she liked
a lot because I saw how happy it made her.

While this scene was being replayed for me, I felt as if all the kind souls in the world of the living
joined together to thank me. The love that was bestowed on me was beyond what is
imaginable."

4. The review of one's life often happens in the presence of a luminous being. Usually the role
of light is to console and comfort people and assist them in examining their life in cases where
witnessing one's mistakes and selfish behavior is extremely painful and shameful.

Additionally, although we will witness and sense the reality of our actions, the presence of light,
through the expression of joy and praise or regret and sadness, can potentially declare God's
confirmation or lack of confirmation regarding some of our actions.

Someone has said, "While witnessing some of my actions, I couldn't bear the conditions. I was
so upset by my actions that the luminous being that accompanied me momentarily paused the
review of my life and comforted me with love and compassion.” However, there is disagreement
regarding the truth of these experiences and whether or not after death an illuminating world
exists and people survive. Many scholars attribute these experiences to a unique physical state
of the body in death, but other scholars consider these experiences to be real.

Dr. Eben Alexander, a neurosurgeon, believed that these stories were merely a figment of
imagination until he got meningitis and spent seven days in a coma.

He suddenly regained consciousness. Dr. Alexander personally had a near-death experience

during this time. After this event, he believed in the truth of these experiences and he described
his experience in his book, Proof of Heaven.

Considering the immaterial nature of near-death experiences and despite the fact that science
may never be able to devise a systematic and scientific method of analysis for its production
and validation, if we were to look at these accounts holistically and with awareness of the limits
of the scientific method, we would be astonished by how similar and agreeable the accounts of
the world after death are.

What makes these experiences valuable in particular are the common messages that those with
near-death experiences from across the globe and with different beliefs and cultures bring.
Perhaps listening to and acting on these messages can save our world from modern crises
through the transformation and elevation of every single human being and result in a spiritual
shift in the history of our intellectual completion.

One of the most important messages from near-death experiences is that our lives and the
world are entirely created under a system of accounting and they have a meaning and purpose
and this purpose is “spiritual growth and completion.” One of the people with near-death
experience is certain in this area that “We are all on a path of spiritual and intellectual
completion. The only things that differentiate us are the paths and experiences that we choose
for ourselves...we are all spiritual beings experiencing life on earth.”

"What I realized was that I am never mortal and I have existed from the beginning and I will exist
till the end and I will never be extinct. I have and will always be under complete care and
protection."

It is interesting to note that many of those with near-death experiences say that we decide
based on our own will and authority to be born and enter into the worldly life for spiritual growth
and elevation. One of them, who is also an author, writes about his near-death experience, "It
was said to me that us worldly beings without exception came to earth on our own accord, will,
and desire, and it was certainly us who selected the difficult conditions in our lives so that
through them, we gain the opportunity for spiritual growth and completion. Before coming to this
earth, we knew that it was necessary for us to endure various difficult tests so that we learn how
we will be able to carry out our mission."