It is okay for men to cry.

We say that crying is for the weak. While growing up, men are taught not to cry

and to resort to other emotions to deal with their issues. What we don’t realize is that

crying does not make us feeble; it helps us build a better coping mechanism. There are

many ways to address one's feelings, and one of those ways is expressing it through

tears. When a person cries, it shows that they are in touch with their emotions. When

men are taught not to cry, they come up with different coping mechanisms. Some find

positive ways to deal with it, and some find negative outlets. Most men, when they do

not find a healthy vent out system, resort to aggression. It is a fact that crying helps in

releasing stress, and people tend to feel better after crying. When we tell a person,

specifically a boy, not to cry, we are taking away their right to experience one of the

most important emotions.

Many people believe that men shouldn’t cry, or that they should hide their emotions. But

in truth, crying can be healthy and beneficial at times, no matter your gender. Our

society is such that men and women are categorized in certain ways. Men are said to

be stronger and women are often referred to as the weaker sex. A man crying is

mocked at by people around and it is so wrong. It is high time we brought a stop to this

stereotypical gender categorization. It is high time we stop the men from expressing

their emotions. If you have a husband, son, a friend or a brother in your life, please do

not mock them if you ever see them cry. And if you are still not convinced as to why we

think it is important for men to cry, here are some reasons. The next time you see

anybody you know crying, just hug him and tell him it is okay. There is a pervading idea,

especially in Western culture, that ‘big boys don’t cry’–a social attitude which has been
instilled into boys to hold back emotion in hope of ‘upholding’ the masculine image. Tom

Lutz, a University of California professor, says that the male reluctance to shed tears

arose as recently as the late 1800s when factory owners discouraged men from crying

because it reduced productivity. It is interesting to note on the opposite end of the

spectrum, according to a study published in the journal Psychology of Men and

Masculinity, footballers who cried reported higher levels of self-esteem. They were less

concerned about peer pressure and didn’t mind crying in front of their teammates.

Emotional tears are often the ones we refer to when we speak of someone crying. They

are composed differently and include an endorphin and natural painkiller called

enkephalin. “Emotional tears contain higher concentrations of proteins, manganese, and

the hormone prolactin, which is produced during stress-induced danger or arousal,”

says Dr Carrie Lane of the University of Texas.

Imagine having shared safe-spaces with others, whether family circles or with strangers,

where we could be seen in our vulnerability and our tears if necessary. It could be

largely beneficial in not only allowing ourselves the emotional outlet and freedom that

comes with crying but also to receive a deeper bonding experience and understanding

of the other. This takes great courage in a relationship where it is a new expression,

especially with family or those closest to you, and can take effort to break the old social

narrative. When we allow ourselves to be seen, however, we allow the other–a father,

sister, lover–into our worlds more fully, and in being witnessed we experience the

release, healing and connection that only tears can create.

Maybe being a true warrior in today’s culture means bearing our whole hearts in the

grounds of everyday social life. And yes, there is a risk, in a tongue-in-cheek way. This
is the ultimate workshop–we are changing it in real time. In doing so, we allow for

mystery and spontaneity. Turning the everyday into the sublime. The mundane into

spiritual. Water into wine? So consider, how would some of your closest relationships

look if you were to both open yourselves to deeper expression? Especially the ones

which have been habitual.

Crying doesn’t necessarily have to be bad. It can also be because of sheer happiness.

When you meet your loved ones after a long time, the birth of a child and several other

instances give out tears of joy and men too can tear out. Do we have to time and again

remind people that men are humans to? They too have emotions. There are times when

they cannot hold their life together and often break down. When women can do it, why

not men? If they want to relieve their stress by crying, let them without judging.

Do we have to give you any more reasons to prove that it is okay and quite necessary

for men to cry also? So the next time you see any man crying, before you laugh or mock

at the, remember that he is a human too.

References

[1] Is it ok for Men to Cry at Work [2] Men’s Tears: Football Players’ Evaluations of
Crying Behavior [3] Cry It Out: 6 Surprising Health Benefits Of Shedding A Few
Tears [4] NEWSFLASH! Free Technique for Healing Pain Described [5] ibid [6] Is crying
a self-soothing behavior? [7] The Healing Power of Tears [8] Why Cry? Evolutionary
Biologists Show Crying Can Strengthen Relationships [9] Grief and Mourning in Cross-
Cultural Perspective [10] Participants ease stress levels at crying events

SUBMITTED BY : DERECHO MAYRYLL IRISH