Every Small, Little Thing

By: Tiofilius Pransisko (F1021161057)

There are these things called ‘Confidence’ and ‘Self-awareness’. They are something that
is always put up together and always goes with each other nicely. You can think of it like
something that existed to complete each other or, if you want to make it more dramatic, a pair
made in heaven. It is like a starter kit for a social butterfly to have no matter what.

Unfortunately, this girl called Tabatha was not really an epitome of a social butterfly,
which means she had no confidence and self-awareness in her bones. She always wondered
which side of her parents that gave her this trait. Her mom is a café owner while her father is a
police officer. Two of them have job that is involving a hefty amount of interaction, her father
more than her mother. They don’t have any traces of the same vibes like her. In fact, both of
them have a vibes that screams ‘FRIENDLY MATERIAL!’

Sometimes she wondered that maybe she left her confidence somewhere in her mom’s
womb when giving birth to her. Sometimes she thinks that she actually not the daughter of her
parents, which is stupid considering she looks just like her mother when she was younger. And
then she comes to a conclusion that she did not care about that. Being shy doesn’t bother anyone.
She can quietly achieve something at the class while other student takes the spotlight. She was
not an over-achiever or the opposite. She doesn’t want to be the center of attention. Life is easier
when no one expecting something from you.

She was content with her life and she never saw her shyness as a problem. Until today.

It was one of those calm weekends in her mom’s café. Birds are singing, flowers are
blooming, and the scent of her mom’s specially-brewed coffee was filling the café with a
pleasant aroma. On days like these, the café will only filled with old couples and her mom’s
regulars, sometimes her father colleagues also take their time and relax there. Unlike the Monday
morning, which is jam-packed with customers who wanted their cup of coffee to start their day at
work, on the weekend there were just some tables occupied while the others are empty.

On days like these, Tabatha likes to relax on a table, reading a novel or writing a story
while also helping her mom now and then. It was perfect. It was like her sanctuary of her own to
be alone in peace. The only downside is that she sometimes needs to take the plates and cleans it,
but today those chores are far and between since it was a very slow day so she was not going to
complain about it. But recently, something, or rather, someone change her world.

Tabatha considered books as her friends. Books are fun, they never lie or say bad things
to her, and the best part is that reading does not require any interaction with other people to make
it works. She believes that no one else loves books as much as she is. Except she’s wrong about
that.
 A boy come and sits down on one of the tables in her mom’s café. He is one of the café’s
regulars and always come on the weekend. He is not from around here and Tabatha knew this
because he sometimes brought something with him. A book. Not just any book, it was a book
from public library that is quite far from where she lived. And every single times, the titles that
the boy always bring here is something that she always wanted to read. She could go to the
library herself, but to do that she had to take a bus which filled with people.

To her, it is like riding a death trap filled with social anxiety inducing materials. So, it was a no-
no for her.

Basically, she hates herself right now. She wanted to read those books so bad, but she
can’t do it unless she talks with the boy, which is something she can’t do either because of her
shyness. She already tried to talk with the boy, she really did. But once she walks toward the
boy, her shyness started to kicking in. she can’t even talks properly!

“What can get you I get…!” she said, stumbling over her own words.

“Uh…I’ll have the hotcake with the coffee.” The boy said with a little smile on his face.

“Okay, got it…uh, I’ll be right ba – “ and then she stumbled on her own feet.

What a mess. After that little incident, of course her confidence – which is already
nonexistent on the first place by the way – was grinded to dust. And here she is, literally
conflicting between straight up talk to the boy risking another chance of embarrassing herself or
not doing that but losing her chance of reading the books the boy have. She doesn’t know which
one is the worst.

“Dear, come over here.” Her mom’s called from behind the counter. This is her chance to forget
about the problem and help her mother.

“What is it mom?”

A cup of coffee and a plate of hotcake on a tray were given to her, “Here, take this to that boy
over there.”

And there goes her chance to avoid embarrassing herself in front of the boy again.

“Mom, I can’t do it, can you please just take it to him for me? Please, just this once.”

“Why?”

Tabatha sighed, “You know that I’m bad with people right?”

“But I don’t see you have any problem with other customers. You don’t like him? Is he bothering
you?”
Tabatha shook her head, “No, it’s not that.”

“Then it’s not a problem right? Besides, it was better than ogling at him all times.”

Tabatha blushed, she did not expecting that, “I did not!” she denied.

“Yes you did.”

“I did not! I’m just looking at his books!”

“Is that how you youngsters call it nowadays? You enjoyed looking at his ‘books’, hm?”

Tabatha did not like the way her mother phrased that.

“No! I’m literally just interested on his books! Not in suggestive or any inappropriate way!”

Her mom laughs seeing her reaction. Sometimes she hates it when her mom teasing her likes
that, although maybe it is because she was an easy target for her mom.

“Yeah, whatever you say young lady. I believe you.”

“At least say that as if you actually believe me. You don’t even put an effort on that, geez.”

“Just take this to him already, it’s getting cold.” Her mom shoved the tray to her, ignoring her
protest and back to brew another cup of coffee, “just takes a small steps honey.”

Tabatha sighed. She looks at the tray on her hands and to the boy who ordered that. Now
the only thing that is running around on her head was ‘Don’t screw this up’ while she takes a
deep breath and then started walking toward the boy.

When she think about it, this may be the chance for her to talk to the boy. Ok, small
steps. That means she had to make a small talks with the boy. But what should she talk about?
The weather? How’s this thing called ‘small talks’ works anyway? Should she just initiate the
talk with the boy? But what if he can’t understand what is she talking about? Doesn’t it makes
them more awkward?

“Uh, um…hey.”

While mulling over this inside her head, she finally realized that she was already at the
table where the boy is. In fact, it looks like she already stands there for good ten seconds, neither
greeting the boy nor giving the boy his order. She just stands there, with a tray on her hand,
staring at the boy.

“I’ll…take the order, if I may?” the boy said while holding out his hand to take the tray from her.

On the split second he was doing this, Tabatha’s mind trying to catch up with her body
and her mind going into overdrive. Then, out of nowhere, she blurted the only thing in her mind.
“Can I see your books!?”

Silence overtook the café. No sound can be heard. It’s not like the usual silence she likes
when she reads her books. This silence is deafening. It was very nauseous she wanted to throw
up. But that silence was broken with a chuckle from the boy.

“Yes, of course you can.” The boy said while smiling.

Tabatha was stunned. She did not expect it will go like this. Where’s the embarrassment?
Where’s the rejection? Is it really this easy after all of this time? A smile began to blooms on
Tabatha’s face.

“I’m Tabatha.”

“Kyle. It is nice to meet you Tabatha.”

“It is nice to meet you too, Kyle.”

Huh, look at that. This small steps really working well.