THE ESSENTIAL

WRITINGS OF
MACHIAVELLI
Edited and translated by
Peter Constantine

Introduction by
Albert Russell Ascoli

NEW YORK UNIVERSITY

' VIHI Uffvi • Library
Via dei Bruni 27
60131 Firenze

THE MODERN LIBRARY

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 THE MANDRAKE

The Mandrake is the foremost play of the Italian Renaissance

and the one most peiformed today. It is Machiavelli's literary
masterpiece, a comedy in prose in five acts. Machiavelli wrote it
sometime around 1518, during his exile from Florence. He was al­
ready an established and successful playwright: his audience would
have known The Woman of Andros, a paraphrase of Terence's
play, and perhaps his lost plays Eunuchus (also an adapta­
tion of Terence), Aulularia (an adaptation of Plautus), and Le
Maschere (The Masks).
The Mandrake was an instant success; the audience was ex­
hilarated by its well-crafted elegance and scandal. The increasing
double entendres as the play progresses (most of them explicitly
sexual ) kept audiences laughing, as did the farcical situations.
Word of the play quickly spread to the Vatican. Pope Leo X, for­
merly Giovanni de' Medici, was intrigued, and in 1520 com­
manded a peiformance in Rome. He was very impressed

CHARACTERS
allimaco-a wealthy young Florentine merchant
iro-his servant
434 · The Essential Writings ofMachiavelli

Ligurio-a former matchmaker

Messer Nicia-a wealthy, middle-aged Florentine lawyer
Lucrezia-his beautiful wife
Sostrata-Lucrezia's mother
Friar Timoteo
A Woman PROLOGUE

God bless you, gracious audience, though I imagine your graciousness

will depend on our pleasing you. Please be silent now, and we will ac­
quaint you with a strange and novel event that took place in our city.
Look at this stage that is now being set up before you: it's Florence, but
it could just as well be Rome or Pisa.
This door on my right leads into the house of a certain lawyer, who
learned all about law from Boo ... Boo ...Boethius.That street at the
corner is the Street of Love, where he who falls will never rise again.
And as for that church, if you sit still and do not leave our theater too
soon, you will see what kind of man of cloth it houses by his outer garb.
There, behind that door to the left, lives Callimaco Guadagni, a
young man fresh from Paris. Of all the fashionable young men in town,
he shows at first glance every sign of upright gentleness and worth. He
has fallen passionately in love with a wise young woman, which is why
she was tricked, as you shall see-and I sincerely wish that all of you
might be tricked as she was.
This play is called The Mandrake, and I trust you shall see why as the
plot unfolds. The playwright is not of any great renown, but he will
stand you a glass of wine if he cannot make you laugh.He has gathered
together a miserable lover, a lawyer of little sense, a friar with wicked
ways, and a sponger who is the darling of malice, for your entertain­
ment today.
436 · The Essential Writings ofMachiavelli

And if this material, slight as it is, does not prove worthy of a play­
wright who wishes to appear wise and grave, excuse him with this: that
h e is trying his utmost to lighten his misery, for h e has nowhere else to
turn, barred as h e is from demonstrating his skills and abilities through
worthier tasks, his labor no longer prized. The only prize h e can expect
is to be sneered at and maligned. And, believe me, this is the reason
why ancient skill and craft have degenerated in our century. When a
AcTI
man sees that everything h e does is maligned, h e will prefer not to toil
and strain to accompl ish with a thousand h ardships a work that an ill
wind will topple or cl ouds will obscure.
But if anyone believes that in speaking badly he can grab the play­
wright by the hair and intimidate him or make him recant, I shall cau­
tion him that the playwright too knows how to malign,. as h e has
proven in an earlier work. 1 I will have you know that h e values no one
in all the l ands where si means "yes," even though h e might bow and
scrape to those who sport a better cloak than he. But let all those who
wish to do so cast aspersions, and let us turn to the matter at hand, so
that the play does not run too much beyond its time, for we must not SCENE ONE
pay heed to mere words nor hol d in high regard some fool who knows Callimaco and Siro.
not whether h e is c oming or going. CALLIMACO: Siro, don't go. I want t� tell you something
Callimaco has c ome out of his house along with Siro, his servant, .
SIRO: Here I am.
and will shed some light on matters. Wa tc h carefully, for you will not CALLIMACO: I imagine you must have been quit
e surprised by my
get another explanation. sudden departure from Paris, and wondering
that I have been a
whole month here without doing a thing.
SIRO: Th at is tru e.
CALLIMACO: Ifl haven't told you before now
what I am about to tell
you, it's not because I don't trust you, but beca
use in my view it is
better for a man not to discuss the things he does
n't want known un­
less he has to. But I think I migh
t need your help, so I will tell you
everything.
SIRO: I am your servant, and servants should
never ask their m asters
anything or peek into their private affairs. But
when the master
speaks of his own accord, a servant must serve
loyally. That is what
I've always done and what I will always do.
CALLIMACO: I know, I know. You must have
heard me say this a thou­
sand times, but it won't matter if you hear it
a thousand and first
1. This is thought to be a reference to Machiavelli's lost play Le Maschere, which was said to time: When I was ten and my mother and fath
er died, my guardians
lampoon many distinguished Florentines of the time. sent me to Paris, where I lived for twenty yea
rs. I had been there just
438 • The Essential Writings ofMachiavelli
ten y ears when King Charles marched on Italy and the Italian wars
began, which ravaged the whole country.I d ecided to stay in Paris
and n ever return to Italy, as I felt I could live more safely there than
here.
SIRO: So it is.
CALLIMACO: And having from Paris commissioned someon e to sell
all my property in Florenc e except for my house, I settled down i n
France and continued living there most h appily for another ten
y ears ...
SIRO: I know.
CALLIMACO: ... dividing my time among studies, pleasure, and busi-
ness, always st riving that no activity should encumber the others. As
you know, I lived a calm life, being ofuse to everyone and .doing my
best not to harm anyone, so that from what I could tell I was liked
by townspeople and gentlemen, foreigners and locals, rich and
poor.
SIRO: This is true.
CALLIMACO: But Fortune deemed that I was having too good a time,
and sent a c ert ain C ammillo C alfucci to Paris.
SIRO: I am beginning to guess what your trouble is.
CALLIMACO: I often invited him to my house, as I invited many other
Florentines in Paris.Then one day, as we were conversing, we began
to debate which were more beautiful, the women of Italy or the
women of France. As I could not evaluate Italian women, since I
was young when I left, another Florentine who was present debated
for France, and C ammillo for Italy. After many ar guments pre­
sented by both sides, Cammillo, almost irate, proclaimed that even
ifall Ita lian women were monsters, there was one lady ofhis family
who could single-handedly win back their honor.
SIRO: Now I see what you mean.
CALLIMACO: And he named Madonna Lucrezia, the wife of Messer
Nicia Ca lfucci.He so praised her beauty and grace that he left the
rest of us stupefi ed. He sparked such a desire in me to see her that
without further ado, and without giving a thought to war or peace
in Italy, I set out for Florence. Here I found to my amazement that
Madonna Lucrezia's beauty far outshines its fame, which so rarely
happens. I have b een seized by such a desire to be with her that I
shall go mad.
The Mandrake · 439
SIRO: Had you told me about this in Paris I'd have known how to ad­
vise you.But now I don't know what I ;an say.
CALLIMACO: I'm not telling you this so you ca n advise m e , but to g
et
it off my chest, and also to have you prepare yourself to help me
should the need arise.
sIRO: I am ready and willing, but what hopes do you have ?
cALLIMACO: Alas, non e-or few, ifany.
sIRO: Oh, why is that?
CALLIMACO: I'll tell you. First ofall, her nature wages war on me ,
for
she is most virtuous and a stranger to matters oflove.Then, she has
a husba nd who is extremely rich and who allows
h er to rule him in
every way, and though he is not prodigiously young,
he is not prodi­
giously old either, from what I can tell. She has no r elatives or
neighbors with whom she could go to a soiree or a b all, nor does she
involve -h erselfin any ofthe entertainments in which the young de­
light. No tradesmen ever visit her house.All her m aids and servants
tremble before her, so there is no possibility ofbribery.
SIRO: So what do you think you might be able to do?
CALLIMACO: No circumstance is ever so d esperate th
at one cannot
nurture some spark of hope.And even if this spark is weak and fu­
tile, man is blinded by his will and desire to achieve his goal.
SIRO: So what is it that gives you hope?
CALLIMACO: Two things: On e is the foolishness of Messer
Nicia,
who, though a doctor oflaw, is the simplest and most foolish man in
all of Florence, and the second is his desire to
have children.They
ha ve been married for six years and h a ve not had any y et, but as
they are so rich, they do not wish to die childless. Ther e is also a
third thing that gives me hope: Her mother used to enjoy going out
on the town a bit, but now she is rich and I'm not sure how she is to
be approached.
SIRO: Have you tri ed anything yet?
CALLIMACO: Yes, I ha ve, but nothing subst anti al.
SIRO: What do you mean?
CALLIMACO: You know Ligurio, who's always coming around to din e
here? He used to be a matchmaker, but now h e's taken to scroung­
ing lunches and dinners.He is a ch arming man, and he and Messer
Nicia ha ve become quite inseparable.Ligu rio is swindling him for
all he can. Messer Nicia never asks him to dinner, but som etim es
440 • The Essential Writings ofMachiavelli The Mandrake • 441
lends him money.I've befriended Ligurio and told him about my other to Porretta, a nothe
r to Vill a.They'r
e all a bunch of frauds!
l ove, and he's prom ised to help me body and soul. Those damn_ doctors couldn't find your gizzar
. . d if y ou dangled it be­
SIRO: You must be careful he do esn't trick you.Such villains aren't fore their eyes.
known for their loy alty. LIGURIO: It's the idea of leaving Fl
orence tha t's putting y ou on edge
, _
You re Just not used to losing sight of .
CALLIMACO: True.But when a man w ill gain from a deal, and you the gr eat cupola.
make certain he k now s it, he w ill serve y ou loyally.I have promised NICIA: You're wrong there.Whe
n I was younger I was a g reat v
aga­
him a good sum of m oney if he succeeds.And if he doesn't, he'll get bon�.I was alway s the first to stroll over
to Prato whenever they had
a lunch and a dinner out of it: That way at least I w on't h ave to dine a fair, and there's not a castle w ithin w
alk ing distance of Fl orence
al one. that I haven't been to! And I'll have yo u kn
o w th at I've ofte n taken a
SIRO: What has he p romised to do so far? stroll over the hill to Pisa o r
to Livorno, so there!
CALLIMACO: He has promised to talk Messer Nic ia into tak ing his LIGu RIO: You must have seen the Gleam
ing Tower of Pisa.
w ife to a sp a this M ay. NICIA: You mean the Leaning To wer?
SIRO: What good will that do you? LIGURIO: Oh, yes, the one that leans.And
_ did you manage to see the
CALLIMACO: What good? A sp a might change her nature.In such se a at Livorno?

places all people do is enj oy themselves, and I'd go there and insti­ NICIA: Of c ourse I di d.
gate all the fun I could, missing no occasion for extravaganc�.I LIGURIO: Ho w much bigger than our A
rno River is it?
would befriend her, her husb and ...You never know. One thmg NI CIA: H�w much bigger? Four times
bigger! Maybe even six, maybe
leads to another, and time has a habit of steering things. seven times.You w ouldn't belie
ve it, but all you see is water water
SIRO: That's not a b ad scheme. water! ' '
CALLIMACO: Ligurio left me this morning say ing he'd have a word LIGURIO: I'm surprised that having sow
n your seed in ever y corner o
the eart� you wo ld make such a hulla balo f
with Messer Nic ia and would let me k now. � o about going to one of
SIRO: Ah, I see them c oming to ward us. the spas Just outside town.
CALLIMACO: I shall step a l ittle to the side so I'll be in t ime to talk to NICIA: What a milk sop you are! D o yo
u think it's a trifle to pack up a
Ligurio once he h as gotten rid of Messer N icia.In the meantime, go whole_ house? But I'm so eager to have childr
en that I'm ready to do
back inside and co ntinue what y ou were d oing. I'll let you k now ifl an ythmg.Go have a talk with
those doctor s and see which of the
want y o u to do something for me. spas hat they suggest would
_ : be best for me t o go t o.I'll be w ith my
wife m the meantime.I will see y ou later.
LIGURIO: That is a good idea.
SCENE TWO
Messer Nicia and Ligurio.
SCENE THREE
NICIA: That was ver y good adv ice y ou gave me.I had a word w ith my
w ife, and she told me she'd let me k now today.But to tell y ou the Ligurio and Callimaco.
truth, I can't say I'm champing at the bit. LIGURIO [aside]: I cannot believe y o u'll find a more fooli
sh man in all
LIGURIO: You're not? the world! And yet how Fortune has favored
him: He is rich and he
NICIA: H ome is h ome, and I don't l ike crawling out of m y cave.N ot to h�s a beautiful wife who is wise, has ever y
grace, and is fit t� rule a
mentio n hav ing to drag w ife, servants, and c artloads of k nickknacks kmgd om. People say about marriage, "L ike
meets like," but if you
ask me, th at is rarely the
across open fields.That's not my idea of fun. Also, I s
��ke to all case.You often see a man of substance
k inds of doctor s yesterday: One tells me to go to San Filippo, an- married to a be ast of a woman
, or a wise woman on the arm of a
442 • The Essential Wn'tings ofMachiavelli
The Mandrake · 443
fool. But C allimaco has something to ho pe for from this man's fool­ �enge, and you w ill lose the use of
my house and any hope of get­
ishness. [Enter Callimaco] Ah, there he is. Hello, ha ve you been lin ­ tmg all that I have promised you.
gering in the shadows ? LIGURIO: You mustn't doubt my loyalty:
Even if there were not the
CALLIMACO: I saw you with Messer Nicia and was waiting for you to profit you mentioned, and which I am
ho ping for, I feel that your
get rid of him so you can tell me what you've accomplished. temperament mir rors mine, and I am quite
as eager for yo u to ful­
LIGu RI o: You know what k ind of man he is: of ver y little wisdom and fill your desire as you are yourself. But let u
s leave all tha t aside.
even less spirit. He resists leaving Florence, but I've warmed him up Messer Nicia has commissioned me to find
a do ctor to see which
to the idea, and he has finally agreed to everything. I believe he will s pa would be best fo r him to g
o to. What I suggest is this: You will
follow our lead should we decide on that plan. Only I'm not sure we tell him that yo u have studied medicine, and
that you have had
can re ach our goal that way. ample experien ce in Paris. It will
be easy to convince him, fool that
CALLIMACO: Why not? he is, and as you are a man o f letters , yo u will be a
ble to spo ut a few
LIGURIO: Well, you know all k inds of people go to those spas, and words of Latin at him.
some man might show up who will find M adonna Lucrezia as ap­ CALLIMACO: Where will that get us?
pealing as you do, a man richer than you and o f a more pleasing LIGUR�O: It w ill get him to the spa that we ch
oose, and w ill help me
countenance, so that you r un the risk of exerting yourself only for put mto effect another scheme I've thought up,
one that will be
the benefit of other s; or else the large number of competitors will quicker, more cer tain, and qui te possibly more s ucce
ssful than th e
make her more reticent, or once you have overcome her reticence, spa.
she will favor someone else, not you. CALLIMACO: What do you mean?
CALLIMACO: I know what you are s aying is true. But what can I do? LIGURIO: What I mean is that if you have cou
rage a nd put yo ur trust
What path can I choose? Where can I turn? I must tr y something, be in me, by this time tomorrow I shal
l present you with a fait accom­
it momentous, be it dangerous, harmful, underhanded! It is better to pli. Then, e ven if Messer Nicia were a clever enou
gh man-which
die than to live like this. If I could sleep at night, if I could eat, if I he isn't-to realize that you are not really a doctor,
o ur fas t action
could converse, if I could take pleasure in anything at all, I would will ensure either that he will not have time to we
igh the matter or
be more patient and wait for the right moment. But there is no re ­ i f he does, that he won't ha ve time t
o interfere wi th our plan. ' '
�
edy, and if I cannot be kept in hope by some scheme, I shall_ die! CALLIMACO: Your words fill me wi th life!
This is too great a promise,
_
Hence, if I am bound to die, I don't see why I should be afraid of and gives me too grea t a hope. Ho
w do you intend to d o it?
anything! I'm even ready to throw myself into a scheme that is w ild, LIGURIO: You wi ll find out when the time
is ripe. Fo r now there is no
cr uel, a bominable! need for me to tell you, for we barely have time t
o put things into
u Gu RIO: Don't say such things! Restrain such impulses! action, let alone discuss them. Go back home and
wait for me there.
CALLIMACO: You know well enough that it is in order to restrain I shall go find Messer Nicia. Ifl bring him to you,
I want you to fol­
these impulses that I am entertaining such thoughts. Therefore we low my lead and play along with
a nything I say.
must either pursue sending him to a spa, or set out on some other CALLIMACO: I will do it, even though
you'r e filling me with hopes
path that w ill give me hope-some false hope at least-so that I can that I fear might end up drifting away like smoke.
sustain a thought that will a t least help assuage my suffering.
LIGURIO: You're right, and I'll be the one to help you.
CALLIMACO: I believe you will, even though I know you make a pro­
fession o f duping people. Anyway, I don't believe that I will be one
of your dupes, because if you try to hoo dw ink me I will take re-
 The Mandrake • 445

LIGu RIO: He lives o n this squ are. That's his door, the o ne right in
front ofu s.
NICIA: I pray that all this comes to some goo d! You knock.
LIGURIO: Here I go .
srno: Who 's there?
AcTII LIGURIO: Is Callimaco ho me?
sIRO: Yes, he is.
NICIA: How is it that you do n't ask for DoctorCallimaco?
LIGURIO: He does not care for su ch trifles.
NICIA: Still, you mu st addr ess him co rrectly, and ifhe do esn't like it he
can drop his pants and you know what.

SCENE TWO
Callimaco, Messer Nicia, and Ligurio.
CALLIMACO: Who is asking for me?
NICIA: Bona dies, domine magister.
SCENE ONE CALLIMACO: Et vobis bona, domine.
2

LIGURIO [aside to Nicia]: What do you think?

Ligurio, Messer Nicia, and Siro.
LIGURIO: As I have to ld you , I believe God has
sent u s this doctor so NICIA [ aside to Ligurio]: First-rate, by the Ho ly Go spels!
in Par is, LIGURIO: Bu t if yo u want me to stay, you 'd better drop the Latin and
you can fulfill you r desir e! He has had endless experience
First speak so I can u nderstand too, o therwise we'll be stoking two fires
and you mu stn't wo nder at his no t pr acticing here in Flor ence:
o fall, he is rich, and second, he's planni
ng to return to Paris any day to spit a single ro ast.
CALLIMACO: How may I be o f ser vice?
now.
NI CIA: He's planning to r etur n to Paris? I do n't
want him to get me all NICIA: It's a lo ng sto ry. I su ppo se I'm looking for the two things from
which ano ther man might ru n as fro m a burning hou se. It's trou ble
tied u p in a tangle and leave me dangling !

LIGURIO: Don't wor ry abou t that. What we

need to wor ry abou t is I'm looking for, bo th for myself and for others. In sho rt, I have no
you all br ats bu t want some. So you cou ld say I've come to tro uble you to
whether he will agree to take you on. Ifhe does, he will see
make some trou ble for myself.
the way throu gh.
NICIA: As far as that goes, I shall place myself
in you r hands; bu t as for CALLIMACO: Being o fser vice to you o r any gentleman o fquality and

his medical knowledge, I'll tell you after I've spoken to him whether standing like your self can hardly be considered trou ble. The o nly
q ack. reason I toiled away in Paris all those many years, studying so hard,
he's a man oflearning or a char latan u

LIGu RIO: It is becau se I know you well that

I'm taking you to him so was to be of service to gentlemen like you rself.
ou rse do NICIA: I thank you most prodigiou sly. And shou ld you ever need my
you can talk to him. And if his presence, learning, and disc
ld lay your legal services, I will be most happy to oblige. But ad rem nostram.3
no t strike you as those of a man in who se lap you co u
entirely!
head, then you may say that I am not I, bu t someone else
NICIA: So be it, by the Archangel in Heaven!
Let's go. Bu t wher e are 2. Latin: "Good day, Doctor." "And to you, Sir."
3. Latin: "To the matter at hand."
his lo dgings?
446 · The Essential Wn'tings ofMachiavelli
Have you given thought to which spa I should take my wife to so
that she might conceive? I know Ligurio has spoken to you on this
matter.
CALLIMACO: Yes, he has. But in order for you to fulfill your desire we
must find the cause of your wife's sterility. You see, there can be
many reasons: nam cause sterilitatis sunt: aut in semine, aut in matrice, aut
in instrumentis seminariis, aut in virga, aut in causa extn·nseca.4
NI c IA [aside]: We could not have found a worthier doctor!
CALLIMACO: Then again, if you are impotent, you yourself could be
the cause of the sterility. If that is the case, then I can offer no cure.
NICIA: Me, impotent? You make me laugh! You will not find a more
stalwart and virile man than myself in all of Florence!
c ALLIMAC o: If that is so, then I can assure you we shall find a cure.
NICIA: Might there not be another remedy than the spa? You see, I'm
not too happy about the inconvenience of going there, and my wife
is not too happy about leaving Florence.
LIGu RI o: · There is another remedy, if I may be so bold-the doctor is
circumspect to a fault, so I shall permit myself to speak on his be­
half. [ To Callimaco] Did you not mention that you can concoct a cer­
tain potion that unfailingly leads to pregnancy?
CALLIMACO: Yes, I did. But I am usually reticent about mentioning
that among people I do not know well, as I would not want them to
think me a quack.
NICIA: Do not worry about me! You have already amazed me with the
extent of your learning: there's nothing I would not believe or do at
your bidding.
LIG URIO [to Callimaco]: I believe you need to see a specimen from
Madonna Lucrezia.
CALLIMACO: Yes, definitely, I must see a specimen!
LIG URIO [ aside to Callimaco]: Call Siro and have him accompany
Nicia to his house to get a specimen and bring it here. We'll wait
inside.
CALLIMACO [calling into the house]: Siro, I want you to accompany
that gentleman. [To Nicia] And if it please you, Messer Nicia, I
4. Latin: "For the causes of sterility are: either in the seed, or in the uterus, or in the testicles,
or in the penis, or in some extrinsic cause."
The Mandrake • 447
would be grateful if you would come back here as soon as possible,
so that we might initiate matters.
NICIA: If it please me? I shall be back in a flash! I have more faith in
you than a wild Hungarian has in his spade. [ Callimaco and Ligurio go
back into the house]
SCENE THREE
Messer Nicia and Siro.
NICIA: This master of yours is a very capable man.
SIRO: More than you imagine.
NICI A: The King of France must regard him highly.
SIRO: Very highly.
NICIA: That is why I suppose he wants to live in France.
SIRO: I believe so.
NICIA: He does well to want to stay there. This place is full of brick­
shitters with no appreciation for a man's skill and accomplishment.
If he stayed here, there wouldn't be a man who'd look him in the
eye. You wouldn't believe what I had to go through: I had to shit my
guts out to learn a word or two orLatin, and if I had to earn my liv­
ing off that, I'd be out in the cold, let me tell you!
SIRO: Surely you earn at least a hundred ducats a year?
NICIA: Not even a hundred lire, or a hundred grossz; I'll have you
know! And the reason is that here in Florence, if you're not in with
the ruling party and don't have good connections, you can't even
get a dog to bark at you. All you can do is lounge about at funerals
and weddings and loaf all day on a bench on the Via del Proconsolo.
But I don't give a damn! See if I care! And that goes for those worse
off than me, too! But don't repeat any of this, as I don't want to end
up being slapped with a fine or having a leek shoved up my ass.
SIRO: I won't say a word.
NICIA: Here we are, this is my house. Wait for me here, I'll be right
back.
SIRO: Go ahead.
448 · The Essential Writings ofMachiavelli The Mandrake • 449

SCENE FOUR SCENE SIX

Siro alone. Ligurio, Callimaco, Messer Nicia, and Siro.

LIGURIO [aside to Callimaco]: Messer Nicia will be easy enough to
SIRO: If all learned men were like him, we'd all be tipping rocks into
our stoves.5 One thing that's certain is that that crook Ligurio and sway-the hard part will be convincing his wife. But there's no lack
my besotted master will lead Messer Nicia to shame. And that's fine of means.
by me, as long as word doesn't get around, because if it does my life C ALLIMACO [to Messer Nicia]: Do you have the sample?
NICIA: Siro has it there, covered up.
will be in danger, not to mention the danger to my master's life and
property. He's suddenly turned himself into a doctor: I don't know CALLIMACO [to Siro]: May I have it? [He examines the sample] Aha, this

what plan they're hatching and where their deception is heading. sample reveals a weakness of the kidneys.
But here comes Messer Nicia with a chamber pot! How can anyone NICIA: It does seem a little cloudy, though she produced it only a few

help laughing at such a dupe? minutes ago.

CALLIMACO: You must not be surprised. Nam mulieris urine sunt semper
maioris grossitiei et albedinis, et minoris pulchritudinis, quam virorum.
SCENE FIVE Huius autem, inter caetera, causa est amplitudo canalium, mixtio eorum quae
Messer Nicia and Siro. ex matn·ce exeunt cum urinis.6
NICIA [talking through the door to Lucrezia]: I've always done things your NICIA [ aside]: By Saint Puccio's pussy! That man is so refined he could

way, but this time I want you to do things my way. If I'd believed I trickle through your clenched fist! How wonderfully he explains
wasn't going to have children, I'd rather have taken a peasant wench things!
than you! [ To Siro, handing him the chamber pot] Here you are, Siro. CALLIMACO: I fear she might be lying exposed at night, hence the

Follow me. You wouldn't believe what I went through to squeeze impurity of her urine.
NICIA: She's got an excellent blanket, but insists on kneeling by the
this damn sample out of that wife of mine! I'm not saying she's not
eager to have children-she grieves about it even more than I do­ bed for hours at a time every night, rattling off the Lord's Prayer
but the moment I want to do something about it, that's another over and over before she climbs in. That woman can outlast the
story. sturdiest heifer in the cold.
CALLIMACO: Well, Messer Nicia, the question is whether you have
SIRO: A little patience should do the trick. "Whisper a woman a sweet
word or two, and she'll be happy enough to follow you." faith in me or not, and whether I shall offer you a certain remedy­
NICIA: A sweet word or two after she's rattled me to the bone? Hurry
or not. I do have a remedy to offer you, and if you believe in me, you
and tell the doctor and Ligurio that I've arrived. can have it. And if within a year from today your wife is not
SIRO: Here they are: They're coming out.
cradling her very own child in her arms, I shall give you two thou­
sand ducats.
NICIA: Your word is my command! I shall follow you blindly and trust
you more than my father confessor.
CALLIMACO: It is a fact that nothing is more certain to make a woman
conceive than to give her a potion made from mandrake. I have
5. Machiavelli's creativity in creating colorful idioms in The Mandrake had baffled Francesco
6. Latin: "For a woman's urine is always of greater thickness and whiteness, and of lesser
Guicciardini, who asked for an explanation of some of the expressions. In a letter from Oc­
beauty, than a man's. This is because, among other things, of the width of the canal and the
tober 1525, Machiavelli explains that "if we were all like Messer Nicia, we would be tipping
mixmre of matters that flow out of the matrix with the urine."
rocks into our stoves, in other words doing things that only a madman would do."
450 • The Essential Writings ofMachiavelli
The Mandrake · 451
tried it out half a dozen times and have found it to work every time. �edi�tely ?o to bed. That should be around nine o'clock. Then you,
If it wasn't for this potion, th� queen of France would be barren, as Liguno, Siro, and I shall disguise ours
elves and scour the New
would countless other French princesses. Market and the Old Market, and we will
gag the first young fellow
NICIA: Can that be? we c?me across strolling about and march him
back to your house
CALLIMACO: It is just as I say. Fortune has smiled upon you, for I have and mto your bedchamber in the dark. Ther we'll
. e put him in the
brought with me all the ingredients that go into the potion, so you bed and tell him what he has to do-I doub he'll
t cause any prob­
can have it at your pleasure. le?1s. In the morning you'll send him off befor
e dawn, have your
NICI A: When would she have to take it? wife washed, and then you can lie with her at your
leisure without
CALLIMACO: This evening after dinner. The moon is favorably posi­ any danger at all.
tioned, and the time could not be more propitious. NICIA: I like the idea, since you tell me
that princes and gentlemen
NICIA: There is no problem, then. You mix it and I'll get her to drink it. have followed that path. But above all, word must not
leak out, for
CALLIMACO: There is one thing you need to be cognizant of, how­ the love of the High Council of Justice!
ever: The first man to have intimate relations with her after she has CALLIMACO: Who would say a word?
drunk the potion will die within eight days. Nothing in the world NI CIA: There's only one hurdle left, a considerable
one.
can save him. CALLIMACO: What hurdle?
NI CIA: Well, I'll shit my guts out! In that case I want nothing to do with NICIA: Getting my good lady to play along-I
don't think she'd ever
that nasty pigs will! You're trying to put one over on me! agree.
CALLIMACO: Calm yourself, there is a remedy. CALLIMACO: I can see that is a problem. I just
don't know how one
NICIA: What remedy? can marry a woman before one tames her to do as one bids.
CALLIMACO: You must have another man sleep with her for one LIGURIO: I have a solution.
night, drawing all the mandrake's poison out of her. Then you can NICIA: You do?
lie with her without putting yourself in peril. LIGURIO: Her confessor.
NICIA: I will have nothing to do with this! CALLIMACO: And who is going to sway her confe
ssor-you?
CALLIMACO: Why not? LIGURIO: I, money, our roguery-and that of the
confessor.
NICIA: I'm not going to turn my wife into a whore and me into a cuck- NICIA: I'm worried that she'll dig in her heels
about going to her con-
old! fessor if I command her to go see him.
CALLIMACO: My dear Messer Nicia, I took you for a wiser man. LIGURIO: There's a solution for that too.
What can I say if you hesitate to do what the King of France and so CALLIMACO: Yes?
many gentlemen there have done? LIGURIO: We can have her mother take her.
NICIA: Who can you find who would take part in such a harebrained NICIA: Yes, yes, she trusts her!
scheme? Ifl tell the man he will die within a week, he won't want to LIGURIO: And I know for a fact that her mothe
r sees things as we do.
do it, and if I don't tell him, I'll be breaking the law, and I'll end up Off we go! Time is not on our side. Callimaco, you go on a
walk, and
being dragged before the High Council of Justice. It'll be my neck make sure we'll find you at home with the potion ready
by four.
in the noose! Messer Nicia and I shall go to her mother's house and prepa
re her,
CALLIMACO: If that is all that is worrying you, leave it to me. as I �now her well. Then we will go to the friar, at which
. point we
NICIA: What will you do? will mform you of what we've achieved.
CALLIMACO: I'll tell you: I shall hand you the potion this evening CALLIMACO [aside to Ligurio]: I say, you're not
leaving me alone, are
after dinner. You will have your wife drink it and then have her im- you?
'i 452 • The Essential Writings ofMachiavelli

LIGURIO [aside to Callimaco]: You look as if you're at the end of your

tether!
CALLIMACO [ aside to Ligurio]: Where am I supposed to go now?
Lr Gu RIO [ aside to Callimaco]: Here, there, along that street, along the
other: Florence is a big city.
CALLIMACO [in a low voice]: I'm at my wits' end. Acr III

SCENE ONE
Sostrata, Messer Nicia, and Ligurio.
SOSTRATA: People always say that a-wise man must choose the lesser
of two evils. If this is the only solution for having children, you
must take it, so long as it does not weigh too heavily on your con­
science.
NICIA: I agree with you.
LIGURIO: If you go get your daughter, Messer Nicia and I shall go find
her confessor, Friar Timoteo, so we can inform him of the matter.
That way you won't have to tell him yourself. Let's see what he'll
say.
SO STRATA: That should work. You go that way, and I shall go find Lu­
crezia and see to it that she speaks to the friar.

SCENE TWO
Messer Nicia and Ligurio.
NICIA: I suppose, Ligurio, you're taken aback that we've had to go
through all that folderol to get my wife to see her confessor. But if
you knew the half of it, you wouldn't be the least bit surprised.
LIGURIO: I suppose it's because all women have suspicious minds.
454 · The Essential Writings ofMachiavelli
NICIA: No, no, that's not it.She was the sweetest woman in the world
and the most pliable.But then one of the neighborhood wives told
her that if she made a solemn vow to go forty times in a row to
matins at the Friars of the Servites, she would conceive. She went
for twenty mornings or so, and then, wouldn't you know, one of
those damn friars crept up behind her, after which she refused to go.
It's terrible that those who ought to be setting us a good example are
of that ilk. Isn't that true?
LIGURIO: The devil if it isn't!
NICIA: Ever since that day she's been as jumpy as a hare.And the mo­
ment you tell her something, she rattles off a thousand objections.
LIGURIO: I'm not surprised.But what about her solemn vow to attend
the forty matins in a row?
NICIA: We purchased a dispensation.
LIGURIO: That's good. But give me twenty-five ducats, if you happen
to have them on you.It's the amount one needs in a case like ours if
one wants to befriend a friar quickly and with ease, as long as one
can convince him there's more to come.
NICIA: Here, take them, I don't mind, I'll find a way to cut back else­
where.
LIGURIO: These friars are cunning and shrewd, which is to be ex­
pected, since they know our sins as well as their own.Anyone who
isn't accustomed to their ways is easily hoodwinked, and quickly
finds he's getting nowhere with them.But we don't want you to start
talking and ruining everything, because a man like you who spends
all day in his study might know his way around books, but is not
wise in the ways of the world. [Aside] This man is such a fool that
I'm afraid he'll ruin everything.
NICIA: Tell me what you want me to do.
LIGu RIO: Let me do the talking, and don't say a word unless I give
you a sign.
NICIA: That's fine by me. What sign?
LIGURIO: I shall close one eye and bite my lip ...No, no, we'll do it
differently. How long has it been since you last spoke to the friar?
NICIA: More than ten years now.
LIG URIO: That's good, I'll tell him you've gone deaf.And don't answer
or say a thing unless we talk loudly to you.
The Mandrake · 455
NICIA: Agreed.
LIGURIO: You must also not be alarmed if I say something that doesn't
tally with anything, because, as you will see, in the end everything
will turn out the way we want.
NICIA: Well, good luck to us.
LIGURIO: Ah, I see the friar talking to a woman. Let's wait till he
gets
rid of her.
SCENE THREE
Friar Timoteo and a woman.
FRIAR: If you'd like to confess, I will be pleased to oblige.
WOMAN: Not today, thank you.I'm expected, and just wanted
to pop
by to get a few things quickly off my chest. Have you said those
Mass�s for Our Lady?
FRIAR: I have.
WOMAN: Here's a florin for you to say a requiem for my dead
hus­
band's soul every Monday for the next two months.He was a rough
brute of a man, but my flesh is weak and I can't help feeling all aflut­
ter whenever I think of him. Do you believe he's in Purgatory?
FRIAR: He definitely is.
WOMAN: I am not so sure myself. You remember what he used to
do
to me from time to time. Oh, how often I came running to you
about that! I used to try and get away from him, but he always man­
aged to corner me! Ah, God in Heaven!
FRIAR: Have no fear, the Lord's mercy is boundless. As long as man
has the desire to repent, there is always ample time to do so.
WOMAN: Speaking of which, do you think the Turks will invade Italy
this year?
FRIAR: They will if you do not say your prayers!
WOMAN: Heaven forbid! God save us from their devilish ways!
My
hair stands on end when I think about all that impaling they do.But
I see a woman here in church who's got some of my cloth: I need to
have a word with her. I wish you a good day.
FRIAR: Bless you.
4S6 · The Essential Writings ofMachiavelli
SCENE FOUR
Friar Timoteo, Ligurio, and Messer Nicia.
FRIAR [aside]: Women are the most charitable creatures, and the most
troublesome.He who shuns women passes up the trouble, but al so
the bene fits. He who puts up with them gains the benefits, but
al so the trouble. As the saying goes, there's no honey without bees.
[ To Ligurio and Messer Nicia] What brings you here, my good gentle­
men? Is that Messer Nicia I see?
LIGURIO: Speak louder, as he's grown so deaf he can barely hear a
word.
FRIAR: Welcome, gentlemen!
LIGURIO: Louder!
FRIAR: Welcome!
NICIA: Greetings, Friar!
FRIAR: What b rings you here ?
NICIA: I'm doing quite well, thank you.
LIGURIO: It is better that you speak to me, Friar, because if you want
him to u nder stand what you are saying, you'll have the whole
square running for cover.
FRIAR: How can I help you?
LIGURIO: Messer Nicia here, and another gentleman of standing,
wish to distribute se veral hund red ducats to charit y.
NICIA: Well, I'll shit my guts out !
LIGURIO [to Nicia in a low voice]: Be quiet, damn it! It won't be that
much! [Turning back to the friar] Y ou mustn't be surpr ised at the
things he says, Friar. H e might be deaf, b ut he has the impression he
can hear, and then he says things that don't make the slightest bit of
sense.
FRIAR: Go on, and let him say whatever he likes.
LIGURIO: I have some of the money here with me. The gentlemen
would like you to be the one to distribute it.
FRIAR: With pleasure.
LIGURIO: B ut before this charity is provided, we must ask your help
in a strange matter that has befallen Messer Nicia, a matter in
which only you can be of assistance. The honor of his house is at
stake.
The Mandrake · 4S7
FRIAR: How can I help?
LIGURIO: I'm not sure if you k now Cammillo Calfucci, Messer
Nicia's nephew.
FRIAR: Yes, I do.
LIG�RIO: He went to France on business a year ago, and as he is a
widower, he left his marriageable daughter in the care of a certain
convent.
FRIAR: And what happened?
LIGURIO: What happened was that through either negligence on the
n uns: part or the girl's frivolity she is now four mon ths pregnant, so
t hat if the matter is not handled wit h pr udence we shall see Messer
Nicia, the nuns, the girl, Cammillo, and the whole house of Cal­
fucci disgraced. Messer Nicia is so apprehensive about this shame
t ha t he has vowed to give three hundred ducats for the love of God
if the rp.atter is dealt with.
NICIA [aside]: That'll be the day!
LIG�RIO [to Nicia in a low voice]: Will you be quiet! [Turning back to the
friar] And he wants the donation to pass through your hands.You
and the abbess are his only hope.
FRIAR: How can I be of assistance?
LIGURIO: Yo� must persuade the abbess to have the girl drink a po­
_
t10 n tha t will make her miscarry.
FRIAR: I will have to give the matter some thought.
LIGURIO: Why do you need to? Look at how many benefits will arise
from this: You will maintain the honor of the convent, the girl, and
the family; you will give a father his daught er back, please Messer
Nicia and all his rela tives, and do as much charitable work as the
three hundred ducats will allow; and all the while you will har m
nothing but a bit of unborn, unfeeling flesh that could be eliminated
in a thousand ways. I believe that that is good which does the great­
est amount �f ?ood and makes the greatest number of people happy.
FRIAR: So be it, m the name of Go d! I shall do as you propose. Let it
all be done for God and charity! Tell me the name of the convent
give me the potion, and, if you like, the money too, so that we ca�
start doing some good.
LIGURIO: Now I can see that you are the kind of friar I believed you
were. Take this portion of the m oney.The convent is ...Ah, one
458 . The Essential Writings ofMachiavelli The Mandrake · 4S9
. e fro m t he chur ch. I'l l be LIGURI0: I'll tell you in confide nce what t his minor thing is insi de the
mome nt pl ease , I see a wo man wavmg to m . . chur ch, while Me sse r Nicia will wait out here and let me speak o n
ri ght back. Ple ase stay here wit h
Me ss r N1cia, I need to have a
his behalf. [Loudly toNicia] Wait here, we will be back right away!
e

word with her . NICIA [aside]: Said t he to ad t o t he harrow. 7

SCENE FIVE
Friar Timoteo and MesserNicia.
FRIAR: The girl, how old is she?
NICIA: I am stunned.
FRIAR: I sai d, how old i s t he girl?
NICIA: Go d cur se t he day!
FRIAR: Why?
NICIA: Be cau se he'l l get it .
FRIAR: Let's go into t he church.
SCENE SEVEN
MesserNicia alone.
NICIA: Is i t day or night? Am I awake or dre ami ng? I'm no t dru nk-I
have n't had a drop all day-but I o ught to be dru nk if I am to put
u p wit h t his load o f cr ap. We se t ou t to te ll t he friar one tale and end
u p tel ling him an e nt irel y differe nt one ! Then I am su ppo se d to
. wit h a play de af, t hough I'd have do ne well to plug up my ear s like P rince
's den. I' m t ang1 ed p
,

FRIAR .. I see I have crawled into t he ho n

• I

runs off, t he ot h r can' t Uggieri of De nmark so I wouldn't hear those crazed t hi ngs he sai d
u

madman and a de af co ot . One sudde nl y for Go d kno ws what re ason! I'm already twe nty-five du cat s poorer,
?1ake much better u se
e

he ar a word. Yet if t he se coins ar e re al, I �an and t he matter at hand has not eve n bee n me ntio ned yet . And now
no once more .
of them than t hey can. But here comes L1gu the y make me st and here like a dough puff on a skewer . But I see
t he y're co ming back. The re will be hell to pay if t he y have not di s­
SCENE SIX cusse d my affair .
. • ·
+ 0' and MesserNicia. .
. . . . .
Me sser N"1cm.
LIGURIO [toNtcta tn a lowvo ice]·· B e quiet '
Ltguno, F nar y·tmo,e
J.i thefriar]
· [ rro
SCENE EIGHT
I have great news, Fri ar ! Friar Timoteo, Ligurio, and MesserNicia.
i nfor med me t hat t he girl
FRIAR: Have t he ladies come to me . I know exactly what to do . If my
::��:I;� Tt:t woman I spoke wit h has
u o

au thority is wort h anything we will se t u p the union by this e ve ni ng.

miscarr ie d on he r own. LIGURIO: Me sser Nicia! Fri ar Timo te o has agreed to e ve ryt hing. We
t hat mo ney.
FRIAR [aside]: Well, great ! There goes all must see to it t hat t he ladies co me .
1

LIGURIO: What did you say? NICIA: I am a ne w man! Will it be a boy?

aso n for you to make t he do -
FRIAR: I said t hat there is now a greater re LIGURIO: It will be a boy.
�but t here i s one more NICIA: I am shedding tear s of j o y.
LI;�:��-: The do nation will st ill be ma?
t hing you nee d to do t o he lp
Me sser N1cia.
FRIAR· What would t hat be?
shameful , much more ac-
7. Machiavelli explains this curious saying in his letter of October 1525 to Francesco Guic­

LIGU�IO: A minor t hi ng t hat is much less

ciardini: "A peasant was harrowing the earth one day when a toad, not used to such a great

ce ptable to us, and much more useful to y
. y u and I a
FRIAR . Wh at t hing ? I f
ou .
commotion, craned its neck in wonderment to see what was happening. Suddenly the harrow
. .
k ndred spmt s, and now sue h
reached it and grazed its back [ ... ] , at which point the toad said to the harrow: 'Don't bother
,
t d o f,or you .
coming back!' This gave rise to the adage 'Said the toad to the harrow' when one doesn't want

good frie nds t hat t he re is no thi ng I woul d n

eel o re i
someone to return."
460 . The Essential Writings ofMachiavelli The Mandrake · 461

it the ladies. Stay there u p a plan, I becom e concerned and app

You t wo go into the church while I awa rehensive--espe cially after
instant they are gone I shall tell you what happened when I went to those friars at Ser vi. But of all the
FRIAR:
so that t hey do not see you . The
things we ha ve tried, this seem s to me the stra est t h ave to
what they said. ng o su b­
mit my body to suc h shame and then to be the c�use of a man's
dying for my disgrace! I think if I wer e th e last wom an in the
SCENE NINE world-if all humanity de pended on me for its regeneration-I
would not agree to such a sc heme!
Friar Timoteo alone. . .
t w i icki g whom here . That crook, L igun o SOSTRATA: I'm not t he one to disc uss such m atters with, my daugh­
FRIAR: I'm sure ho s tr n
hadn t agreed
no
only to test t he waters: If I ter. Speak to the fri ar, see what he says, and then do wha t he, we, and
told m e t hat first tall story
ve confided in me h i l designs s� �s everyone who loves you advise you to do.
to his offer, h e woul dn't ha
s rea

ly. Since the first mat and N i�ia LUCREZIA: I'm racked by des pair !
not to reveal them needless
ter he

di sclosed to me was fals e, the

y weren't worried for th selves if I
em
_
hadn't played along. Well,
I've been du ped. But it must �e said, I SCENE ELEVEN
have been duped to my ad
vantage. Messer Nicia and Calhmac are o
ays . An d I
o f them b oth in different w
rich, and I can get plenty out
Friar Timoteo, Lucrezia, and Sostrata.
thi s is the kind f m b so�ut ely Welcome, welcome. I know why you have come--Messer
ne ed not fear anything, for
o atter that a FRIAR:
eir adva g mme to i i
� � has already spoken to m e. As God is my witness, I have been
must remain secret. It's as little t o th
nta e as to a
. I fe ar, ?ow­ sittmg over my books for a good two hours studying thi s case, and
spread t he word . Be that as
it may, I have no qualm s do

rezia is upr ight and good

t will be after m uch careful scrutiny I have foun d many partic ulars that both
ever, that as Mad onna Luc _
here
_
difficulties . Nevertheless it
is through her goodness that I will get at s pecifically an d generally are in our favor.

her. In the end, all women

have little sense-the instant you find a LUCREZIA: Are you s peaking th e truth, or are you p oking fun at m e?
, you throw your ha�ds up FRIAR: Ah, Madonna Lucrezi a! Ar e thes e m atters of fun? It is not as if
woman who can put t wo words together
in the land of the bhnd the you are meeting me now for the first time!
to Heaven and cr y "Halleluj a h!" because other, who
here she com es with h er m
LUCREZIA: No, it isn't, Friar. B ut this seem s to m e the strangest
one-eyed man is king. But
worth mentioning. She 'll be great help scheme I have ever heard .
does not have any moral s
a
FRIAR: I believe you, �adonna Lucrezia , b ut you m ust sto p wor rying.
in making Lucrezia follow my lead. There are many thmgs that from a distance strike one as terrible
un bearable, and strange, but the m oment one steps closer they tur�
SCENE TEN out to b e �uman, b eara ble, and famili ar. Thi s is why people say that
_ greater than the evil itself, and our case is j ust one of
fear of evil is
Sostrata and Lucrezia. value your
ell, dear daughter, t hat I those .
SOSTRATA: You know very w
i w l d, an d that LUCREZIA: May G od in Heaven will that it is so!
than anyone el se
honor and well-being more
n the or

ything th a i proper. I FRIAR: I would like to return to what I was saying before. When it
I would not advise you to undertake an
t s not
t tells you comes to your conscience, you must take i t as a general r ule that
again that if Friar Tim
have told you time and time
o eo

on your c onscience, you

can o ahead
g when there is a good that is certain and an evil that is uncertain one
that t hi s need not weigh
ght. . . , must never turn one's back on what is good out of fear of what is
without giving the matter a second thou .
y w i d t M r N ic ia s desire to �ave evil. H er
� :Ve have a good that is certain: your becoming pregnant
I ve alwa s orr e hat esse
's why, whenever he bnngs
LUCREZIA: ha
and providmg another soul fo r our Lord G od in H eaven . The un -
children would lead us into trouble. That
462 · The Essential Writings ofMachiavelli
The Mandrake • 463
certain evil is th at he who will lie with you after you h ave drunk the
potion will die. But then again there have been men who h ave not SCENE TWELVE
died. Yet as there is a cert ain uncertainty about the m atter, it is bet­ Friar Timoteo, Lzg· urio andM
ter that Messer Nicia not run the risk. As for the act itself being sin­
' ess er N·zet.a.
FRIA R: Ah, Ligu rio, co
me here.
ful, that is pure nonsense, because it is the will that is sinning, not LIGURIO: How did thin
gs go?
the body. A sinful thing would displease a husb and, while in our FRIAR: They went we .
ll . L ucrez1a and her mother retu
case you will be ple asing him; a sinful thing would be enj oy able, Pared to do as we s ay We , . rned home pre-
while you, in our c ase, will not enjoy this. Furthermore, one must won t r� mto any diffi cul ties, because
her mother will stay ;ith
her-she l7 put her to bed herself
never forget to look at the aim of a matter: Your aim is to occupy a NICIA·· C an th1. s be true?
seat in P ar adise and to ple ase your husb and! The Bible says th at the FRIAR: Well, _well! So
yo u are cured of your deafne
d aughters of Lot, believing they were the last women on the e arth, LIGURIO: S amt Clement ss;,.
h as wrought a miracle'
lay with their father. As their intention was good, they did not sin. FRIAR: Yes and you'd
do we11 to purchase a gr and
LUCREZIA: W hat are you trying to talk me into? the chur�h so we can spread vo tive offering for
SOSTRATA: Let yourself be persuaded, my d aughter. Don't you . the word about this mir acle.
NICIA: Let us stick to .
the matter at h and. Is my wife .
understand that a woman who has no children h as no house? If her any problems about . gomg to create
what I'm askmg her to do .;,
husb and. dies, she ends up like a discarded animal, ab andoned by all. FRIAR: I tell yo u she wo
n't.
FRIAR: I swear to yo u, M adonn a Lucrezia, by my mon astic he art, th at NICIA: I am the h appiest
man on e arth!
obeying your husb and in this m atter need not prey more on your FRIAR: I believe you You
'll et 1f a b aby boy, for which m
conscience than e ating me at on a Wednesday, a sin that can be men would gladly �ive thefr any
e;:t:::.
sprinkled away with a little holy water. LIGURIO: Off to you r p
r ayers, Fn. ar,·_a�d if. we nee
LUCREZIA: W h at are you telling me to do, Friar? we'll come 100k ior d anything else
c you. Messer N1c1 a go to • , .
FRIAR: I am telling y ou to do something for which you will always y our wife s side and'
m ake sure her mi d d '
ot a er, an I sh all
have reason to th ank God. And you will see how h appy you'll be a limaco to see that\e :�� yo: ; � go fin d Doctor Cal-
year from now. . he pot10n. But be sure we mee
six so we c an see to everythin . t at
g that has to be done by mn e.
SOSTRATA: She will do as y ou say, Friar. I'll put her to bed myself NICIA: Good ide a! Good-
bye.
tonight. [To Lucrezia] W hat are you frightened of, you silly goose? I FRIAR: Go with God.
can think of at le ast fifty women in this town who'd throw up their
hands in thankfulness to the Lord.
LUCREZIA: I will do as you say, but I do not believe I sh all live through
the night.
FRIAR: H ave no fear, my child. I shall pr ay t o the Lord on your beh alf,
and will direct a pr ayer to the Arch angel Raphael himself th at he
m ay stand by your side. Go with my blessing and prepare yourself
for this evening's rite.
SOSTRATA: Peace be with yo u, Friar.
LUCREZIA: May God intercede, and our Holy Virgin too, so that I do
not come to harm.
 The Mandrake · 465

or if you cannot escape it, then at least bear it like a man. Do n't bow
your head ?efore it, and don't lower yo urself like a wo man." Here I
am bolstering myself. But my spirits are bolstered only for a little
_
:While. I am assaulted from all sides by such a desire to be with her
JUSt once that I am racked from head to toe: legs shaking, innards
AcTIV rattled, my heart trying to break out o f my chest, my arms at a lo ss,
my to �gu� gone mute, eyes blinded, head spinning. If o nly I could
find Ligun1o, � could le� off some st:am. -But here he is, hurrying
_
toward me. His news will give me hfe or kill me altogether.

SCENE TWO
Ligurio and Callimaco.
LIGURIO [ aside]: I've never been so eager to find Callimaco, nor have
I ever had such a hard time doing so. If I had been the bearer o f bad
n�ws, you can b: sure I'd have run into him right away. I've been to
h�s ho�se, the piaz�a, the mark�t, the Panco ne delli Spini, the Log­
_
SCENE ONE gia de Tornaqumo, and haven t managed to find him. Men in love
have quicksilver in their feet, and cannot stay still.
Callimaco alone.
CALLIMACO [ aside]: Why do I refrain from calling out to him? But he
CALLIMACO: I wish I knew what they've managed to do. Will I ever
strikes me as quite happy. Hey, Ligurio! Ligurio !
see Ligurio again? Four o'clock has come and gone-it's five al­
LIGURIO: Ah, Callimaco! Where have you been?
ready. Oh, the angu ish! How true it is that Fortune and Nature keep CALLIMACO: What news, Ligu rio?
their books balanced: They never send goo d your way without LIGURIO: Good news.
sending evil too. The mo re my hope has grown, the more my fear
CALLIMACO: Truly good news?
has grown as well. Woe is me! How can I live in so much pain, LIGURIO: The best.
racked by these fears and ho pes? I am a ship whipped by two oppos­
CALLIMACO: Lucrezia is agreeable?
ing winds, which it need fear all the more as it approaches its haven. LIGURIO: She is.
ce
Messer Nicia's foo lishness fills me with hope-Lucrezia's pruden
er I turn there is no CALLIMACO: The friar has set things up?
and steadfastness fill me with fear. Alas, wherev
LIGURIO: He has.
respite. At times I try to get hold of myself, chastise myself for this
CALLIMACO: 0 blessed friar! I shall forever pray to the Lord on his
passion, ask myself "What are you doing? Have you gone mad? behalf !
and
Once you have obtained her, what then? You will see your error,
little LIGURIO: Ha, ha, I like that! As if God bestows his grace for evil as
repent all yo ur exertions and thoughts. D o n't you kno w how
well as good! The friar will want more than your prayers.
good ultimately turns up in what man desires, as oppo sed to what
is CALLIMACO: What will he want?
he hoped to find? On the other hand, the worst that can happen LIGURIO: Money.
that yo u will die and go to Hell; but so many have died, and there
you CALLIMACO: I'll give him some. How much did you promise him?
are so many men o f quality in Hell-is there any reason why
in the eye! Escape evil, LIGURIO: Three hundred ducats.
should be ashamed to join them? Look Fate
466 • The Essential Writings ofMachiavelli The Mandrake · 467

CALLIMACO: You did well.

LIGURIO: I need a moment to think.
e. CALLIMACO: Oh, that's great! All is lost i f you have to start thinking
LIGURIO: M esser Nicia has already coughed up twenty-fiv
now!
CALLIMACO: What?
LIGURIO: I have an idea!
LIGURIO: H e paid up: Why ask questions?
she do? CALLIMACO: You do?
CALLIMACO: What about Lucrezia's mother, what did
her daugh- LIGURIO: I'll have the friar, who's helped us up
LIGURIO: What didn't she do? No sooner did she hear that to now, do the rest.
sin, she begged, ca­ CALLIMACO: H ow?
ter could have a fu n night without its bein g a
Lucr z a u til sh finally agreed to see the LIGURIO: :"e 'll all �e in disguise. I'll disguise the friar,
joled, and reassur e d e i n e
_ who will
tha h r daught r w uld agree. change ?1s v01ce, his face, and his clot hes, an d I'll tell Messer Nicia
friar.Then she saw to it t e e o
I do deserve so much t hat he 1s you. H e'll have no reason to d
CALLIMACO: L ord in H eaven! What hav e ne to oubt it.
CALLIMACO: I like the idea.But what am I going to do?
grace? I could die o f happiness!
nts t o die of sor­ LIGURIO: Well, you could wear one of those rakish mantles an
LIGu RI o [aside]: What kind of man is this? F irst he wa d come
o] Is the potion strol�in g along past his house, sporting a lute and singing some lit­
row, now h e wants to die of happiness. [ To Callimac
tle ditty.
ready?
CALLIMACO: What, with my face uncovered?
CALLIMACO: Y es, it is.
LIG�RIO: Yes, because if you were wearing a mask you'd rous
LIGu RI o: What are you sending Messer Nicia? e suspi­
thing to set­ cion.
CALLIMACO: A goblet of elegant spiced wine, just the
... Oh , oh no! I am CALLIMACO: But he'll recognize me.
tle one's stomach and invigorate the mind no
LIGURIO: No, he won't.You:ll have to twist up your face: H
ruined! old your
mouth open, or try poutmg, or perhaps scowling-close one of
LIGURIO: What is it? What happened?
your eyes.G o on, try.
CALLIMACO: All is lost!
CALLIMACO: You mean like this?
LIGURIO: What the devil's happened?
likely to hap- LIGURIO: No.
CALLIMACO: Nothing has happened, nor is anything
to t! CALLIMACO: Like this?
pen! I've dug a hole and fallen in i
n ds fro m your LIGURIO: No, that's not enough.
LIGURIO: Why? Tell me what you mean! Take your ha
CALLIMACO: H ow about this?
face.
that you, h e, LIGURIO: Yes, yes, remember that one.I have a false nos
CALLIMACO: D o you remember I told Messer Nicia e at home: I
want you to stick it on.
Siro, and I would grab some fellow and push him into bed with his
CALLIMACO: Fair enough.And then?
wife?
LIGURIO: We'll be here as you come around the corner. W
LIGURIO: Well? e'll grab

do you mean, "well"? If I am with you, how am I your lute, seize you, lead you to the house, and shove you into bed.
CALLIMACO: What
The rest you will have to do your self.
supposed to be the man who will be grabbed? And i f I'm not w ith
CALLIMACO: As long as I get that far.
you, Me sser Nicia will catch on to our trick.
out? LIGURIO: You will get that far.But getting back will be e
LIGURIO: Y ou have a point there. But isn't there a way n tirely up to
Not ha I ca s . you.
CALLIMACO: t t n ee
CAL LIMA CO: What do you mean?
LIGURIO: There must be!
LIGURIO: You'll have to win her over tonight.Before yo
CALLIMACO: Like what? u leave, you
468 • The Essential Writings ofMachiavelli
The Mandrake · 469
must tell her who you are, reveal the tr ick, profess your love, tell her as soon asyou've given him the medi
how dearl y you hold her, and how she can be your fr iend without
cine and the message. Do you
understand?
t he slightest touch of scandal, or your enemy with a blazing scandal. SIRO: Yes, sir.
It's impossible that she won't reach some kind of agreement with
you, and refuse a second encounter.
CALLIMACO: Do you t hink so? SCENE FOUR
LIGURIO: I am certain of it. But let's not lose any more t ime. It's al- Callimaco alone.
ready past seven o'clock.Call S iro, send the potion �o M�sser N ic_ia, CALLIMACO: I'm waiting for Li r io
gu to return with the friar. Who­
and wait for me in your house. I shall go find the fnar.I 11 have him ev�r said that waiting is the hardest
part wa s spea king t he truth.I'm
put on a disguise and then I' ll bring him here.After that we'll go get losmg ten pounds an hour thinking
where I am and where I could
Messer N icia and see to everything. be t':o hours from now, frightened t
hat something mig ht come up
CALLIMACO: That's a good idea.Off you go! to rum my plan.If that happens, this wi
ll be the la st night of my life,
because I will thr ow myself into the Rive
r Arno, or hang myself, or
hurl mys elf out one of the
SCENE THREE windows, or plunge a knife into my heart
on her doorstep. I will end
my life somehow! But is t hat Li rio I
Callimaco and Siro. see? Yes, that's him! And he has someone gu
with him all hunchbacked
CALLIMACO: Hey, Siro! and l imping. That must be t
he friar in dis ise.Those friars! You've
SIRO: Yes, sir? seen one, you've seen them all. But whogu
's that other fellow? That
CALLIMACO: Come here. must be Siro, who will have given the mess
a ge to Messer Nicia.Yes,
SIRO: Here I am. that's him.I'll wait for them
here, s o we can join forces.
CALLIMACO: Go get the silver goblet in my bedroom cab inet. Cover
it with a cl oth and bring it to me.Make sure you don't spill anything
along t he way. SCENE FIVE
SIRO: I'll be right back. [ Siro exits] Friar Timoteo in disguise, Siro, Ligurio, and Callimaco
.
CALLIMACO: He's been wit h me ten years and has always served SIRO: Who's t hat with you, Li rio?
gu
me loyally.I th ink I'll find him loyal in this matter too. I haven't re­ LIGURIO: A worthy gentleman.
vealed the trick to him, but I'm sure he's guessed what we're up to, s IR o: Is he really lame, or is it part of his dis
guise?
as he's enoug h of a rascal-and from what I can see, he's play ing LIGURIO: M ind your own business.
along. SIRO: He has the face of the Devil himself !
SIRO [reentering]: Here it is. LIGURIO: Hold your ton e! You're rattling
. gu me! Where's Callimaco?
CALLIMACO: Good! Q!tick, go to Messer N icia's house and tell him CALLIMACO: Here I am, welcome.
that this is the medicine that his wife must take immediatel y after LIGURIO: Callimaco, you need to have a word
with this clown! Every
dinner-and the sooner she dines, t he better. We'll be waiting time he opens his mouth ...
around t he corner at the appointed time, so tell him to meet us CALLIMACO: Listen, Siro, tonight you
must do exactly as Li rio
there. Hurry! gu
�ays. When he tells you to do something, I want you to jump to it, as
SIRO: I'm on my way. �f the_ order came from me.Wh atever you see or hear must be kept
CALLIMACO: Listen. If he wants you to wait, then do so and come m strictest secrecy, if you value my propert
y, my honor, my life, and
back here with him.If he doesn' t want you to wait, t hen come back what's good for you.
 The Mandrake · 471
chiavelli
470 . The Essential Writings ofMa
LIGURIO: Do we look good?
say.
SIRO: I shal l do exactly �s you . . FRIAR: Very good indeed.
sser N1cia the gob
let?
IM AC O: Di y ou giv e Me LIGURIO: All we need now is Messer Nicia, and we'll be ready. Le t's
CALL d

SIRO: Yes, sir. go over to his house, it's al ready past eight! Off we go!
say ?
CALLIMACO: What did he SIRO: Who's that at his door? Is it him or a ser vant?
ry thing as p lanne d.
SIRO: That he will do eve LIGURIO: No, it's him. Ha, ha, ha, ha!
FRIAR: ls this C allimaco . s: I put my- SIRO: What ar e you laughing at?
?
ttle the condition
A y se rvice. L et us se LIGURIO: How can I help laughing? He's donned a c ape that's so
CALLIMACO: t
.
our .
e at y our disposal.
self and my entire fiortun r word I h ave d
one things short, his bottom's uncovered. And what the devil is he wearing on
and take ou a t ::
FRIAR: I humbly accept , r,
any else i� the world.
his head? It looks like one of those m onk's hoods, and he's got a lit­
I w d not h ave done or tle sword too. H a, ha! And he's mutter ing s omething. Let's c onceal
for ou oul
d.
t g o un�ewarde
our efforts will n o ourselves here so we c an hear how his wife's been raking him over
CALL{MACO: Y . rew ard.
oward me is. sufficient
FRIAR: Your kmdness t s·iro and I will go disguise
our- the coals.
ceremomes.
LIGURIO: Let's drop the . you can ge e y too . The
ome with us s o
t r ad
selves. you, Callimaco' c nr . hen w e c n g o off
vve'11 be ngh t back' a�d t SCENE EIGHT
a
friar will wait for us here:
to get Messer
Nicia. Messer Nicia in disguise.
go.
CALLIMACO: Great, let's NICIA: The trouble that fool of a woman is making! She's sent her
y ou here.
FRIAR: I' ll be waiting for maids to her mother's house and my ser vant out to the country. A
wonderful idea, of cour se. But what's not so wonderful is all the
SCENE SIX m oaning and groaning I had to put up with before she got into
bed-"No, I can' t go through with this!" "Oh, this'll be the end of
Friar Timote o in disguise. ad company wil
l lead a man me!" "What are y ou making me do?" "Angels in Heav en!" "Woe is
ose wh� say th a t b
FRIAR: H ow right are th sueh an end as much from
me!" If her mother hadn' t sworn she'd give her a g ood hiding, she'd
to th e ga11 ows.I
And a man will come to never have g ot into that bed. A p ox upon her! I d o n' t mind a feis ty
ng too much of a
ayed as from bei
and too eas1·1 y sw .
being too good . . ss th at I have never mtend ed to harm any- woman , but there's a limit to every thing! She's driven me up and
G is m y w1 tne over the wall, the ra bi d littl e shrew. If I were to s ay, "Find m e one
i . flock.
vi sermons' attended to my
lla n od

ep t my c l l preached my levelheaded wom an in all of Florenc e and I'll hang myself !" her
one: I k ' . . n. appeared and made me dip my fin-
t o e

y h �evil Ligu reply would be, "Why, wh at have I done to deserv e this?" As sure as
But sudde nl t at
� whole h and until I fell in
he d
ger in sin, into which I t :J/;:: k::ws how deep I still have to Pasquino entered Arezzo through the back gate, I'll m ake sure she's
u�,
a ll the way, b o�y and so le are inv olve
d, good and ready in that bed before the evening's done. But I m ust say
g g c is hat hen many peop
sink! O ne savm ra e
� Ligu i hat I cut a splendid figure in this outfit: No one would ever recognize
bur en. :_But here come
r o and t

many h ave to share the me. It makes me a good deal ta ller, younger, and slimmer-there's
servant. not a bawd in all of Flor ence who'd have me p ay to bed her. Bu t
where is ev eryone?
SCENE SEVEN
Siro, all in disg uise.
Friar Timoteo, Ligurio, and
FRIAR: Welcome b ack.
472 • The Essential Writings ofMachiavelli
The Mandrake · 473
LIGURIO: The most honored of all the saint
SCENE NINE s in France. Forward,
• et,s set up our ambush here at this corn
rnarch'L
er.Listen! I hear a
Ligurio, Messer Nicia, Friar Timoteo, and Siro. lute.
LIGURIO: Good evening, sir. NICIA: Yes, it's a lute! What shall we
do?
NICIA: Oh, ah, I say! LIGURIO: We must send out a scout to see
who he is and then act ac­
LJGURIO: Don't be afraid, it's only us. cording to what he reports back.
NICIA: Oh, so you are all here? If I hadn't recognized you in the nick NICIA: Who will go?
of time, I'd have plunged rny sword into you, good and hard.Is that LIGU�IO: Siro, you go. You know what you
have to do. Observe, ex­
you, Ligurio? And is that you, Siro? And the other one here, is arnme, return swiftly, report!
that Doctor Callirnaco? SIRO: Yes, sir! [ Siro exits]
LIGURIO: Yes, Messer Nicia. NICIA: I don't want us to slip up and grab some
old doddard who can
NICIA: Let rue take a look at hirn! Oh, he has disguised himself excel­ bar�ly stand up, or we'll have to go through this whole
rigmarole
lently, his own grandmother wouldn't recognize hirn. agam tomorrow.
LIGURIO: I've had hirn put two nuts in his mouth so his voice won't LIGURIO: Rest assured-Siro's a good rnan. Ah, he's
back. What did
give hirn away. you lip_d?
NICIA: You fool! SIRO [reentering]: He's the handsomest young fellow
you've ever seen.
LIGURIO: Why? He can't �e a day over twenty-five. He's alone, and he's
corning this
NICIA: You should have told rue! Then I'd also have put two nuts in way weanng one of those stylish mantles and playing
a lute.
rny mouth, if it's that important for our voices be disguised too! NICIA: If what you say is true, then he's just what
we're looking for. If
LJGURIO: Here, you can put this in your mouth. he's not, believe rue, you will end up with more than
egg on your
NICIA: What is it? face.
LIGURIO: A ball of wax. SIRO: Have no fear, he's just as I say.
NICIA: Let rue try ... yuck, ugh, ooh, what, yuck, ooh, ugh, ooh! A LIGURIO: Let's wait till he gets to this corne
r, and we'll jump hirn.
dropsy upon you, you damn rascal! NICIA: Corne over here, doctor.You strike rue
as a rnan of steel.Here
LIGURIO: Forgive rue, I gave you the wrong one by mistake. he is!
NICIA: Yuck, yuck, ugh, ooh ...What, what w-w-was it? CALLIMACO [enters, singing]: "The Devil migh
t come to lie with you
LIGu RIO: Just a little purgative resin. while I'rn far across the oceans blue." '
NICIA: A curse upon you! Yuck, ugh! Doctor, aren't you going to say LIGURIO [seizing Callimaco]: Fear not, sir! Give
rue that lute!
something? CALLIMACO: Alas! Leave rue be! What have
I done to you?
FRIAR: I' rn outraged that Ligurio gave you that! NICIA: You'll see! Cover his head and gag
hirn.
NICIA: I say, you are doing a splendid job of disguising your voice! LIGURIO: Turn hirn around.
LIGURIO: Let's not waste any more time. I shall assume the role NICIA: Turn hirn again-and again! Take
hirn into the house!
of captain, and will set up our forces for the corning battle. Calli­ FRIAR: Messer Nicia, I shall retire, as
I have a most prodigious
rnaco will be on the right flank, I shall be on the left, and Messer headache.If I arn not needed, I shall not return until tomo
rrow.
Nicia will be in between. Siro will bring up the rear to bolster any NICIA: Indeed, we will not need you this
evening, Doctor.We're quite
flank that might flag.The battle cry will be "Saint Cuckoldino "! able to handle this on our own.
NICIA: Who is Saint Cuckoldino?
 iavelli
474 . The Essential Writings ofMach

SCENE TEN

Fri ar Timoteo in disg.uise. . now return

m the h ouse' so I shall
FRI AR: They are mce1 y tucked up . ce, do no t blame us: For if we
to my mon as ter y, and you d ear audien
' next act, then nei· ther you nor I nor any- AcTV
not to mov e on t o the
we e . I shall have
�ight. Before the next act
r
e wo uld get any slee p to
one her as �hey haven't
. and Siro wi·11 h ave dined, .
given a ser mon, L"igurio . . ·11 have left his bedchamber for his
Nici a w
eaten all day, and Messer
i
imaco and
. . room, as too many cook s sp01·1. the broth· Call .
hvmg wm k , bec aus e I kn ow tha t if I
ot s1 eep a .
Madonna Lucrezi· a wi·11 n w ould n't sleep a wink either.
e she , you an d I
were he and you we r

SCENE ONE
Friar Timoteo alone.
FRIAR: I didn't close an eye all night, such is my fervor to hear how
Callimaco and the other s fared. I tried to pass the time in various
ways: I said matins, read the Lives ofthe Holy Fathers, went over to the
church and lit a lamp that had gone out, changed a veil on one of
the statues of Our Lady that has wrought miracles. How many
times have I told those brother friar s of mine to keep her clean! And
then they wonder why the votive offerings don't keep coming! I re­
member the days when we had five hundred offerings-now you'd
be hard put to find twenty! But I'll tell you one thing: It's our fault!
We've not done a good job of keeping the church's reputation going.
In the old days we used to walk in solemn processions after the
evening ser vice, we had hymns sung ever y Saturday. We would
have the congregation pledge solemn vows so that there'd always be
a stream of votive offerings. Yes, back then we always got both men
and women to make vows and purchase offerings! Now none of
that's being done. And then we're surprised when business is down?
My brother friars have nothing but air in their heads! But I hear a
great r uckus coming from Messer Nicia's house! Here he comes, by
my faith! They're sending out the prisoner. I've come just in time.
 hiavelli The Mandrake · 477
476 . The Essential Writings ofMac
t dro�, and d
aw n is br eaking. I shall like a rabid d og, and h e ripped off hi s clothes as if they w ere on fire.
They've squeezed out the las So th er e h e stood stark naked. His face was quite ugly-what a
are saymg.
step aside to hear what th ey nose, and his mouth all twisted!- but I'd never s een a handsom er
body! White, smooth, soft.As for his other ... um ... charms ...I
SCENE TWO shall say no more.
uise. LIGu RIo: The less said the better, I think.But why d id you need to see
urz•o, and Siro all in disg
Messer Nicia, Cal1.zmaco, L z.g 'n I' gra b him from here, and all that?
om that si. de, a
ll
Y u gra b him fr d
.
NI CIA : o
. NI c IA: Why did I need to s ee all that? I'd a lready poked my finger into
. ntle from behmd
you, Siro, hold on to his ma the pie, so there was no reason not to check the filling. I also wanted
CALLIMACO: D on 't
hurt me! . to see if h e was hea lthy: If h e had th e pox, where would I be now?
e on .
LIGu RIo: D on't be
frightened, JUSt get a mov You hadn' t thought of that, had you?
NICI A: L et's not g. o any
f arther.
.Whirl him around twice LIGURIO: You're right, I hadn 't!
LIGURIO: G ood ide
a.We can f ree h"im here.
. i l him , .Siro! NICIA: O nce I assured myself t hat he was healthy, I dragged him out
way he came from.Wh"r
so he doesn't know which of th e st orer oom and i nto the chamber, wher e I pushed him into the
smo: H ere w e go. b ed.And before I lef t I poked my hand und er the blan ket to see if
NICIA: Again! . the f ellow was rising to the occasion .I'm the kind of man who grabs
m.
SIRO: H ere w e go aga a bull by the hor ns.
CALLIMA· CO: What.
ab out my lute? l chop
ou, you rascal. ! O ne more w ord and I'l Lr Gu RIo: I marvel at the wisd om with which you handled this matter!
LIG URIO: Away w ith y NICIA: O nce I made sure everything wa s coming up roses, I left the
your h ea, d off! clothes·. We'd do w ell to bedchamber, locked the door, an lwent to sit with my mother-in­
NICIA: H e s run away
.L et's go ge. t out of th ese
. w e've b een up a11 law by the fire, where w e stayed up all n ight waiting and talking.
g so lt doesn't look as if
go out early this mormn LIGURIO: What did you talk about?
night. . . NICIA: About h ow foolish Lucrezia is, an d how she 'd have done better
lendid idea.
LIGURIO: That is a sp hi
. . s· iro, go an d fi nd
D octor Callimaco and tell m t o give in right away, without all the back-and-forth. Then w e
NICIA: L iguno and talked about the baby that I can already see in my arms, the chubby­
l.
that everything w ent wel · We don 't k no. w any- cheeked little rascal! Until I heard the b ells strike six.Worried that
a y u xp ect us to te 11 him;,
LIGURIO: Wh
e
. w ent mto the
do o
daw n was about to break, I w ent into the be dchamber. And w ou ld
t
ce we we re m . side your house, we
thing. After all, on
e.It was your m o
ther-in-law and you who you believe it, there was no waking that scoundrel!
cellar to have some win n until now, when
you LIGURIO: I believe it.
d"idn't see you agai
stayed with them, and w e NICIA: He was lying there like a roast pig in its ow n juice, but I got
k h"im out of th e house.
called us , to h.elp you k"ic n ny things to tel l
you! There him up, summoned you, and w e took him outside.
u r� h . Ha do I h ave some fu
y. t
me b y the LIGURIO: So things w ent very w ell.
.' ta was waiting for
NICI A: o
n
was my w ife m � b ed m th e dark. So.stra c ul get a good NICIA: But w ould you believe it, I f eel bad .
;du:::���oand so that
I o d
fire. So I too� the young r� a storeroom o ff th e hallway LIGURIO: You d o?
look at what s wh
at, I p� s him to get a NICIA: I feel bad that that po or fellow will have to die s o soon, and
for
ht to see, but not enough
where there's enough hg that this night will cost him so dearly.
good look at my face. LIGURIO: Ah, is that all you're w orried about? Wel l, let that be his
er.
LIGURIO: Ver� clev . him
u r ess, but he dug m
his heels.Then I w ent at problem.
NI CIA: I told h im nd
 The Mandrake · 479
478 . The Essential Writings ofMa
chiavelli
. D octor Calh- ce pt that it was the will ofHeaven for things to be this way. And as
. , eternity to find
t s takmg an
NICIA: You're right. -But i it is not for me to question the will ofHe aven, I submit. I shall take
good news
maco, I want to te 11 h'i� th_ e the sun's come up already.
you as my lord, master, and guide . You will be my father, you will be
1

our. Ah
UR IO: H 'll be ou t withm the h ' my champion, I want you to be my idol of goodness. And what my
LIG
t b ut y
We'll go and change. Wha : ;
e

t that my wife g
ets up, husband wished for a single night, I want to be forever. Be a brother
as we ll an r e · ��{ see to i
NICIA: I'll go ho m e her purifie d. I'd
to him, come to the church tomorrow morning, and then come back
churc: wi' th me to hav
and I'll have her come to
e

friar t o thank him home to dine with us. From then on, you will be able to come and
ere too, so we
can see th
l'ke Callimaco to be th go at will, and you and I will be able to be together whenever we de­
e

thing he ha�
done .
�nd reward him for e very wi h God.
sire without scandal." I melted at the sweetness of her words, and
ndid idea. G o
LIGURI0: That's a sple was unable to say e ven a fraction of what I wanted to say. I am the
t

happiest and most delighted man in all the world! And if this hap­
SCENE THREE piness does not elude me through de ath or the passing of time, I
shall be more blessed than the blessed, more saint ly than the saints.
Friar Timoteo alone.
a t M
.
e sser N'icia sai' d a
nd am well pleased, con- LIGURIO: I am overjoyed at any thing good that befalls you, and
hav e h ar d w h
FRIAR: I .
t man is. B ut his
final words please me no pleased that everything has turne d out exactly as I predicted. What
sidering what a fool th�
e

don't want t o dally here, but shall we do now?

end! As they are
all commg t� see me, I
. · em m church ,
where my merchandise is CALLIMAC0: Let us go to the church, for I promised to be there when
will go and wait f,or th . out of that house over there? she, her mother, and Messer Nicia arrive .
· that commg
worth more. But who is_ th him must be
Cal- LIGURIO: I hear their door opening: it's them! They're coming out
's Ligurio, ifl'm not mist aken, and the man wi I'v just with Messer Nicia in tow.
I , e here, for the re
ason
n wa n t them to see m
e
d
t
limac . I can al- CALLIMAC0: Let us go to the church and wait for them there.
. , even i'f they don
't find me in church, I
t
all
o
Aft r
o

ment 10 n d. e

ways go look for them.

e

SCENE FIVE

SCENE FOUR Messer Nicia, L ucrezia, and Sostrata.

NICIA: Lucrezia, I think it would be good to do things fearing God,
easy and not in just any old way.
Callimaco and Ligurio.
e al�ead ld Ligurio I felt quite un
LI MAC O_
: As I'v ' i didn' t LUCRE ZIA: Oh, do we st ill have to do more?
CAL ple asure,
m th m orni ng. ;,��ugti: was such a
t
un il w her f my NICIA:Ha, she's become quite feist y.
e al d h who I was and told
seem right. But then I re�
t t o e o

ily wi hout a bre ath S0S TRATA: Don't be surprised-she's a changed woman.
h w asi ly_ :e ;ou�� live happ
love for he r, an d mised that should LUCRE ZIA: What do you mean by "doing things fe aring God"?
t

be mg tch a f,ool� I pro

o e

of scandal, her husband wif e. These were all NICIA: I me an that it would be good for me to go on ahe ad and talk to
I woul take her a. my
God ever whisk him off, eneed the differ
ence he- the friar and te ll him to meet you on the ste ps of t he church so he
ut once she expen
sound enough re asons, b e sser Nicia, an
db we en the can lead you in to the purification ceremony, because this morning
t':1een my te ehmq • ue and that of M ed it truly is as if you were reborn.
et

u sband, sh sigh
_
e of an elderly h
yo ng l over and thos ess,
e
kiss s of a . husband's fool ishn LUCRE ZIA: So go ahe ad.
. ur shrewdne ss, my
a few times, an. d. said·. "Yo
e u

e led me to NICIA: You are really feist y this morning! And yesterday evening you
s si 11m ss, an d my con1cessor' s wi'ckedness hav
my mother rd· therefore I ac- seemed more de ad than alive.
have done of my own acco '
e

do what I wou ld never

 The Mandrake · 481
480 • The Essential Writings ofMachiavelli
NICIA: You c�rtainly will, Friar. It will be sent you to day.
LUCREZIA: I have you to thank. LIGURIO: Will anyone see to Siro?
eedn't-I see him in front
SOST RATA: Go find the friar. Oh, but you n
NICIA: L et him come :o me: What is mine is his for the asking. Lu­
o f the church. _
crezrn, how many corns do y ou have on you for the Friar's purifica­
NICIA: Yes, there he is. _
t10n ceremony?
LUCREZIA: I don't quite remember.
SCENE SIX NICIA: Well, how many?
Ligurio, and Sostrata. LUCREZIA: Let's give him ten grossi.
Friar Timoteo, Messer Nicia, Lucrezia, Callimaco, NICIA: Well, I'll be hanged!
n I'm comi ng out is because Calli­
FRIAR [to himself]: The only reaso
r Nici a and the ladies are FRIAR: And yo u, Madonna Sostrata, it seems, have made a robust new
maco and Ligurio told me that M esse
. stalk shoot up in place o f the old.
coming to the church. And here they are
SOS TRATA: That's reason enough to rej oice, wouldn't yo u say?
NICIA: Bona dies, Father.
8
r well, Madonna Lu- FRIAR: Let us all go inside the church, where we can say o ur prayers .
FRIAR: Welcome, welcome . May all this augu Then, after the sermon, you can go back home and dine at
crezia, and God send you a nice baby b oy.
leisure.. -A s for yo u, dear spectator s, do not wait for us to come
LUCREZIA: May God will it! back out: The service will be l ong, and afterward I shall stay inside
FRIAR: God will most de finitely will it. the church, while they will use a side exit to go home. Farewell.
o inside the church?
NICIA: Do I see Liguri o and Doctor Callimac
FRIAR: Yes, s ir.
NI CIA: Wave them over.
!
FRIAR [to Callimaco and Ligurio]: Come here
CALLIMACO: The L ord b e with y o u.
.
NICIA: Doctor, take h old of my wife's hand
CALLIMACO: Gladly.
will have a staff to l ean on
NICIA: Lucrezia, this man is the reason we
in our declining years .
happy if he would be our
Luc RE z IA: I am m ost grateful, and would be
friend.
and Ligurio to come dine
NICIA: Bless you, Lucrezia! I would like him
with u s t oday.
LUCREZIA: Most definitely.
e room above the arcade so
NICIA: And I shall give them the key to th
ey do not have women
that they can co me whenever they like, as th
at ho me to attend to them.
make good use of it from
CALLIMACO: That is very kind. I will gladly
time t o time .
itable purposes?
FRIAR: Am I to receive some money for char

8. Latin: "Good day."