WRITING CORRECTION

Dr Lorna Bradbury

Stillwater Medical Clinic

12 Main Street

Stillwater

23/05/2015

Dear Dr Bradbury,
Re: Ms Isabel Garcia, D.O.B: 01/01/1995

I am writing to update you regarding Ms Garcia, a university student, who has been discharged today
following receiving treatment for bacterial meningitis. Your further follow up care would be highly
appreciated.

Today, Ms Garcia was referred to our emergency department with features suggestive of meningitis.
She visited us with a one-week history of arthralgia, joint stiffness, headache, photophobia, rash, neck
rigidity and increased sensitivity to light. On examination, Kerning’s sign was positive, and petechial
rashes were seen on the abdomen as well as legs. Relevant investigations were ordered, which revealed
increased white cell count and CRP. Lumbar puncture revealed PMN dominant CSF with increased white
blood cells, protein and decreased levels of glucose. Therefore, she was commenced on dexamethasone
and ceftriaxone. Upon the discovery of Neisseria meningitides on culture reports, she was switched to
benzyl penicillin.

Prior to discharge, Ms Garcia showed good response to treatment and her family was reminded about
immunization. I would suggest you to contact her recent contacts, family and friends for seeking urgent
medical condition should they experience any unusual symptoms, as well as receive chemoprophylaxis if
needed.

I would be grateful if you could monitor her further. Your expert assessment would ensure her a
complete and speedy recovery.

Should there be any queries, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Yours sincerely,
Doctor
Explanation:

1. Grammatical error was noticed

2. Introduction and closing need change. See the sample letter
3. Informal word was noticed. (About)

Word count 217

1. Purpose- Not Satisfactory

2. Content- Relevant info was written
3. Conciseness and clarity- No irrelevant information was
Comment written.
4. Genre and Style- letter was clinical formal and non-
judgmental. Preciseness hampered.
5. Organization and layout- Layout was maintained
6. Language- Grammatical error was noticed, appropriate
use of comma, Spelling, cohesion was good enough.
1. Follow the sample letter and explanation
part
2. Keep practicing
Advice

Estimated Grade B (350)

 A Sample letter of this case note
23rd May, 2015

Dr Lorna Bradbury

Stillwater Medical Clinic

12 Main Street

Still water

Dear Dr Bradbury,

Re: Ms Isabel Garcia, DOB: 1st January, 1995

I am writing to update you regarding Ms Garcia, referred by you with a suspicion of meningitis, who is
now confirmed with a diagnosis of bacterial meningitis. Your further follow up care upon discharge
including contact tracing and possible chemoprophylaxis would be highly appreciated.

Today, Ms Garcia presented to me with the features of meningitis along with increased bruising and
painful joints for one week. Her physical examination revealed neck rigidity, bruising on left arm and
petechial rash on abdomen as well as legs without fever. A set of investigations including lumber
puncture and blood culture were carried out which confirmed the diagnosis of bacterial meningitis with
the detection of Neisseria meningitides on blood culture.

Initially,Ms Garcia was treated with ceftriaxone and dexamethasone. Later, ceftriaxone was replaced with
benzyl penicillin after receiving the culture report. Fortunately, he responded to the treatment. Please note,
department of Human Services was notified and a discussion of family immunization was made with her
family.

I would be grateful if you could monitor her condition following discharge today including advice to her
relatives to seek medical attention after observation of any unexplained illness and arrangement of
possible chemoprophylaxis who were in recent contact with her.

Should there be any queries, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Yours sincerely,

Doctor