synchronous

“Is it not true that no two human beings understand

anything whatsoever about each other?”

Synchronous: existing or occurring at the same time

(syn-, meaning “with” and Chronos, meaning “time”)

Memorandum: a note or record made for future use

Memoir: a collection of memories

Genre: fanfiction Synchronous

This story contains mention of suicide, drugs, Osamu Dazai || BSD
swearing, violence acts, and other things which could
possibly be triggering. cc

Chapters: 9 memorandums

Bonus chapters: 4 memoirs

NURSHARIFAH SYAHIRAH

NURSHARIFAH SYAHIRAH

0
 ❝
She may seem cold-blooded, but she is more human, and her
heart more brittle than anybody else, so much so that if you
filled it with human love or betrayal, it would break easily,
which is why, I think, she chose from the start to avoid it all, to
love humanity, you understand? Not to accept it, not to face it,
to avoid it.
❞

1
 PPROLOUGE One shade happens to softly gleam underneath the sunlight. One
One shade happens to so 🦋🦋🦋e sunlight. shade happens to appear as a delicate puddle of blood.
Booklet Title
What is the literal definition of the word “human”? Such living She looks at him as if he’s the only other person in her own little
creatures have outstanding ways of processing daily information world. He looks at her as [Telephone]
Phone: if she’s his gracious downfall.
in their brain, and showcasing their fickle emotions as if they were Email: [Email address]
His eyes are the opposite of hers, but they both say more than
a glass case waiting for someone other than themselves to break. Web: [Web address]
they even could.
They are empathetic and they are fragile. They are innovative
bastards and they are children harboring unspeakable sin, They say the eyes are the window to the soul.
understanding them is an issue of great complexity. We, as That’s way she refuses to let the truth slip past her inquisitive
humans, arguably give that label to others when we have the eyes.
capability to understand them. We, as humans, fear what we
🦋🦋🦋
cannot understand.

Sometimes she questions if Dazai Osamu is human.

The twenty-two-years-old member of the Armed Detective

Agency was once a former executive of Yokohama’s underground
organization. He has an infamous reputation for being a well-
known suicide enthusiast and the diabolical prodigy of the Port
Mafia.

Dazai is viewed as an unmotivated, overdramatic, and confident

individual. It may be problematic to take him seriously due to his
childlike manner, but these aspects simply mask the other side of
his existence. He can be unbelievably manipulative, deceptive,
and inexplicable. His childlike brutality appears as if he’s
infatuated picking apart the bodily structure od an insect. The
man is believed to have surpassed the devil, perhaps even a god
wouldn’t be able to stand in his path. The truth cannot slip past
his bottomless eyes, nor can anyone evade his daunting gaze.

His eyes can be a beautiful canvas of brown. It’s like an oil

painting mixing all possible shades together, and the paintbrush
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creates the artwork exhibiting within his eyes.
 1|FIRST MEMORANDUM
Encountering Dazai Osamu was ordinary.
🦋🦋🦋
An enigma was comparable to a puzzle that tested a person
knowledge. Pieces would effortlessly adjust together, whilst
others became misplaced in a disordered manner. The puzzle
would be so close to becoming solved, but it could never reach its
conclusion.
Dazai Osamu’s former profession was one of the seven enigmas of
the Armed Detective Agency. Whoever predicted it accurately
would obtain a suitable reward that didn’t fail to entice greedy
desire. His past was a dark cloud that never dispersed, much to
Atsushi Nakajima’s discontent. His guesses were deemed
incorrect no matter the list of professions he presented to the
bandage abomination. Despise his errors, he discovered the one
member who happened to be familiar with Dazai before he
became affiliated with the Agency.
“Uh, Nakamura-san?” Atsushi timidly approached the young
woman, causing her fingers to halt from pressing the engraved
buttons of the black keyboard. Akane hummed as a momentary
response and swiveled her chair to direct her utmost attention
toward him. Her gaze flickered from the computer to the young
man in front of her and her eyebrow arched. A smile slowly
formed on the contours of her lips because of his welcoming
appearance.
The brightness in his multicolored eyes conveyed that he was
exhilarated at the given moment. Before he approached her, he
wanted to confirm with Kunikida if she really was the one woman
to know Dazai the longest.
3
The awaiting confirmation didn’t take too much thought when
he threatened Atsushi to never mention the bandage maniac 5
when he was invested piling himself with paperwork.
With a demeanor visible of anxiousness, he hastily questioned, “I
don’t mean to pry or anything, but is it true that you met Dazai a
couple years ago? Before he joined the Armed Detective
Agency?”
“You still want that seven hundred grands, don’t you?” She sent
a quick and playful grin to the young man. She chuckled at his
perseverance, which resulted his complexion to furiously turned
red from shame and humiliation. The question that spilled from
her mouth made him feel utterly vulnerable.
“It’s true, but you’re out of luck. Even if I’m the one who knew
him the longest, I could never figure it out,” Akane responded
sympathetically. She admittedly wanted to help Atsushi, more so
to prove that suicidal bastard that he wants as cryptic as he made
himself out to be. There have been times in the past and present
she attempted to ask Dazai about his former profession. She
didn’t get much of an answer when all he did was tease how they
should first go out on a date before they exchange confidential
information.
Atsushi let out a defeated sigh, discouragement evident within
his eyes. The moment he thought all hope was lost, an idea
occurred to his mind just as fast. Perhaps, if Akane presented the
history between her and Dazai, there could be clues he could
identify. Grasping any detail such as clothing, behavior, and
certain words used in dialogue could probably be important in
order to solve this puzzle. There was still hope for the penniless
youth.
“Nakamura-san, please tell me how you met him,” Atsushi
eagerly requested. Something flickered within his pair of unique
colored eyes. She was in a situation that was almost considered
unavoidable because he looked like a child waiting for an
adventurous bedtime story.
It wasn’t like she minded him interrupting her work. She was
grateful his sudden appearance eased her fingers from cramping
every second she typed. His presence was never a bother to her,
especially when he was one of the few people she cared about.
Atsushi joining The Agency was one of the many abrupt decisions
she didn’t consider horrible. She was sort of grateful Dazai
brought in an orphan who had potential proving himself to be
special. She even found innocent amusement by teasing him a bit
since he always had a difficult time defending himself.
“Can you guess what I did when I was about your age? Of you’re
right, then I’ll tell you everything that I know about Dazai.” She
humorously challenged, he would end up telling him the story
regardless if his answer was right or wrong. However, she was
genuinely interested how the young man viewed her. As a woman
in her early twenties, there have been different paths she took in
order to explore what she preferred in life. She anticipated that he
wouldn’t see her as being a reckless teenager contemplating
selling her body, but the thought of it hopefully didn’t end up
being the answer coming out of his mouth.
Atsushi was quite analytical teenager despite not growing up with
proper education. He studied the woman’s overall appearance as
4his eyes narrowed in focus. Their age difference wasn’t drastic as
she was still a young, beautiful woman. She wore a professional
attire that consisted of a white buttoned shirt and a long navy-blue
skirt, similar to the rest of the clerks in the Agency.
4
She was never the one to initiate a conversation unless it was
necessary but when she did, she radiated such a motherly aura
that almost anyone would feel comfortable being with her. There
was something about the way she looked at a person that seemed
as if that expression could suit so few. He would often catch
himself comparing her to the dim yet, mesmerizing starts that no
one could keep their eyes off of when looking at the sky.
His face unfortunately morphed into a look of uncertainty. He
was hesitant to answer because he couldn’t decipher what kind of
job looked compatible with her. It wasn’t an obvious
interpretation unlike the rest of the members. He could only guess
what regular teenagers would consider generally having as their
first job. “Were you a waiter or did you work in retail?”
“I was a barmaid for my first job. Now, don’t think I aspired to
became an alcoholic.” She sheepishly rubbed the back of her neck.
Teenagers would often explore more than one job and of course,
she was one of them. His simple prediction nevertheless
astounded her how perspective the young man can be. It was one
of the many qualities about him that impressed her.
Complimenting him in her thoughts didn’t change the everlasting
irritation by the mention of Dazai Osamu. It wasn’t like she
wanted to rudely disregard the history between them completely,
but at the end of the day, she caught herself that he was certainly
one of a kind and finding another person like him would be
almost impossible. She didn’t want to find another person similar
to him if it wasn’t him.
1
“The pub I worked at was where I met him,” Akane began,
already feeling exhausted from the remembrance that occurred
four years ago.
 🦋🦋🦋
The days were longer and the rays of the sun reawakened from its
recluse. Spring was the time of a phenomenal renewal filled with light,
joviality, and leisure. It was the perfect season for any youngster to just
not have a care in the world. Running amok without any complaints and
responsibilities truly gave a sense of freedom.
That wasn’t the case for everyone who desired that. The seventeen-years-
old girl was on the search for a decent job as she was preparing herself for
the harsh life of adulthood. Though it took an exhausting month of
endless interviews, she was able to get accepted at a local pub. It was a
reasonably easy job since all she had to do was serve the drinks as she
wasn’t allowed to open the bottles due to age restrictions. She planned to
quit when she had enough money to pay for an apartment in the future.
Akane became adjusted to the new surroundings in a matter of just few
weeks. The pub wasn’t too rowdy, she became acquainted with the head
bartender, the customers were typically friendly, and the job pair fairly
well. Nothing seemed to go wrong nor did any of her decision lead her
down a destructive path.
However, on a particular day, the head bartender appeared to be overly
friendly with a particular customer. It was hard to tell if the tone of his
voice sounded forced due to fear, irritation, or pure elation. Although she
was intrigued with who he cold possibly be talking to, she was too busy
serving the customers to bother him. When most of the customers began
do disperse, her acquaintance called her over to introduce her to the said
stranger. Her shoulders stiffened by the sudden shout of her name. she
timed her slow footsteps approaching them, hoping that she could quickly
avoid engaging with the stranger.
Akane was slightly unsettled by the stranger’s appearance. They young
man wore a dark trench coat over his suit with bandages wrapped
5
around his neck and forearms.
Akane was slightly unsettled by the stranger’s appearance. Another
bandage was also covering his right eye, which took up most of his
features. His wavy hair framed his face quite perfectly as she seemingly
caught herself from complimenting that he was a charming man.
What unnerved her the most was that the look in his eyes did not match
the smile he displayed to people. His hues were so dark it seemed as if
light wouldn’t dare step within those eyes. What she saw in front of her
was an entity that didn’t have a place in the world. There was a gnawing
sensation in the pit of her stomach, indicating that something about this
stranger was not morally right.
“I’m Nakamura Akane.” A self-conscious grin formed on her lips.
With his smile never once faltering, he replied, “I’m Dazai Osamu.”
A customer’s gruff voice demanded another drink before the bartender
could spout a single word. He politely excused himself in order to make
the drink to avoid angering the customer for poor customer service.
Akane watched him leave, failing to notice Dazai’s inspection of her
appearance.
He thought of her as nothing more than an average girl who he probably
wouldn’t have trouble swaying with sweet, empty compliments. He told
himself she probably wasn’t worth messing around with as there were
other easy women seemingly worth his time. Despite these thoughts, he
caught himself observing her eyes longer that he intended to. She
possessed a pair of hazel eyes that seemingly appeared as if she were
daydreaming. They wondered and wondered, desiring to uncover many
truths hidden from society in such poised way. How strange, this girl
was very strange. Perhaps, he could have some fun with her?
When she brought her attention back to Dazai and realized his
continuous stare, she inquired, “Yes?”
“I think I’ll nickname you Delilah.”
Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, wondering why he thought it
would be appropriate to call her that. “Why?” 3 like a pain, but she did it for a reason that was common for anyone searching for
It took him a while to show any sign of reaction, but when he did Dazai
displayed his usual smile as he cocked his head to the side. Though
bizarre in ways that most people wouldn’t understand, it was his way of
showing fascination. At that moment, Akane already predicted that he
was a very unfathomable person.
“Because it suits you.”
That was her first-time meeting Dazai Osamu. Even before she began
working at the pub, he was a regular customer that the head bartender
seemed to favor. There were times when Dazai wouldn’t visit the pub for
weeks, which explained why she didn’t meet him during her first week of
working.
Though, when he did visit, Akane assumed he would entertain himself by
teasing how such a beautiful woman such as herself would be quite the
pleasure to flirt with. He would also childishly complain how she should
only pay attention to him as the rest of the other customers were too
fucked up to hold a proper conversation. She speculated he wasn’t of any
harm despite being such an annoyance. He was a carefree man that
gloated about his bizarre fascination with suicide, but she could barely
grasp what kind of person he truly was.
Almost a year had passed and she finally had enough money to rent a
decent apartment that was a bit distant from the pub. She had no choice
but to quit considering it would be too much of a hassle commuting back
and forth. When she did quit, Dazai didn’t visit the pub on her last day.
Whether she was disappointed or relieved was up to anyone’s
interpretation.
He couldn’t fathom how bitter he felt without her when she was just
supposed to be a way to pass time. That was all she was meant to be from
the beginning.
Three years had passed and Akane had left a couple of jobs. It may have seemed
their desire future. She needed money to pay for her needs, but she wanted to
find a job that she was truly happy with. It took time but if it was for her
satisfaction, she didn’t care at all.
Fortunately, she became an employed at the Armed Detective Agency as a clerk.
Despite not having an ability, her patience and talent of speculation were
acknowledged by Yukichi Fukuzawa. It paid well, but she was eager to work
with the members who possessed unique abilities. She felt ecstatic and even
nervous for the upcoming events when she was introduced to the members. Her
excitement ended shortly when she heard a familiar voice among the crowd of
members.
“Could it be that Akane-chan couldn’t stand being away from me?”
In front of her, there stood the one and only Dazai Osamu. Four years have
passed, but his personality didn’t change at all. The bandages remained on his
neck and forearms, but his right eye was finally uncovered. She remembered the
color of his eyes being much darker, but they were now glimmering underneath
the interior lights. His appearance may have slightly changed, but his behavior
towards her remained the same.
“Is It too late to quit?” she muttered as her confidence demised.
However, her lips formed a small smile. Again, whether she was disappointed or
relieved was up to anyone’s interpretation.
🦋🦋🦋
“That’s how I met Dazai. Did that help you in any way?”
“No.”
Poor Atsushi couldn’t grasp any useful hints. Knowing Dazai’s
previous appearance didn’t help, nor did his personality since it
remained the same. Atsushi slumped to the floor, finally
admitting defeat. Dazai was just someone nobody couldn’t figure
6 out.
“I’m sorry Atsushi-kun,” Akane wholeheartedly apologize. She
felt awful for not being able to support a friend, but there wasn’t
much she could’ve done. Just like Atsushi, she also wanted to
know more about that secretive man. His true intentions were
never revealed unless he revealed them.
“I hope I explained the story well,” She said to herself. Perhaps
she missed an important detail in her story? If she did, that would
probably be the reason why Atsushi couldn’t guess Dazai’s
former profession.
Dazai stared down at Akane, causing her to feel like an imbecile
underneath his impish eyes.
“I would’ve felt hurt if it weren’t for your flattering description of
me.”
Memo: Encountering Dazai Osamu was never ordinary.
🦋🦋🦋
Delilah; she who weakened, the woman in the valley of Sorek
whom Samson loved, and who was his downfall.

All of a sudden, the office’s door opened with a loud slam,

startling both her and Atsushi. The both of them forced their
necks to look at the person near them as sweat dripped from their
forehead by the sight of the known member.

“You explained it very well, my dear Delilah!”

There he stood, the eccentric man known ad Dazai Osamu. He

looked at Akane in amazement, completely honored by the story
about that assertive smirk of his as if he was always the center of
attention.

“Were you eavesdropping?” She sighed and rubbed the temples

of her head. In all honesty, it wasn’t much of a surprise that Dazai
would eavesdrop since not a single soul could hide anything from
him.

“Akane-chan, you make it sound like eavesdropping is a bad

thing.”

“I didn’t consider it bad until you showed up.”

He let out an exaggerated cry of anguish like he was stabbed in

his heart by her sarcastic words. He gracefully landed a hand on
his chest and pretended to be hurt. But soon after his permanent
7
smirk was displayed on his lips.
2|SECOND MEMORANDUM
🦋🦋🦋

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