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For my recovery experience, I decided that instead of quitting something I wanted to be

able to add something into my routine and do it every day. In my case, it was exercising. I

decided to exercise everyday for 15 days, for 40 minutes per day. Given that I normally do not

workout and thus I have no endurance, I decided to switch between heavy workout and more

simple working out. Some days I ran and walked, and some others I did weight, and the rest I did

yoga; this way it was balanced and I would not be burned out and it was also enjoyable and

motivating.

The reason I decided to take on a daily practice instead of quitting something is because I

had hit “bottom”. I am 20 pounds overweight, I feel pain moving and when I wake up and my

clothes do not fit anymore. It was time for a change and I feel grateful that I embarked on this

journey because now I have more motivation. In the preparation stage where I was organizing

myself for the challenge, I began by doing 20 minute workout every other day. It was good for

me to go easy onto it because I had not worked out in months and I knew if I started cold feet, I

was not going to have the motivation to succeed in the challenge. I had the internal motivation to

complete the challenge because I was not happy with myself. I felt sluggish and I knew at 23

years of age that is not something healthy and something I should not just accept. I wanted to

feel good and look better; that kept me going at it for the fifteen days and it helped me to not

“relapse” and miss a day of workout. Another big motivator for me was, Instagram. I follow

people that have a workout routine and that helped me with the challenge because I wanted to

look good like them. When I was by day or six, I had euphoric recall about the times where I

would just sit at home not doing anything and that lessened by desire to go and put myself on the

yoga mat or go out running. Creating a new habit can be challenging and of course, the good

things in life are a challenge because it means something to you and when we give ourselves, a
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part of ourselves on to something, we are involved and we become fragile and susceptible to

disappointment and emotions that we do not like so much. Sometimes I would see my mom on

the couch or my sister and I would think “I would love to not workout today”. That thought

made me feel sad because I thought I was not going to succeed in the challenge and the dreams

of looking good and creating a positive healthy lifestyle would vanish. I never relapsed but since

I meditate every day I was able to catch myself when having those thoughts and challenge them

and reframe them. I would challenge them by saying, “It will be over in a few days” or “It is just

40 minutes and after you are done” and those thoughts helped me at the beginning to not give up.

Later in the challenge other thoughts would come like “It does not matter if you relapse, it is just

a stupid challenge” and that made me doubt myself and my ability to do things and my self-

confidence. I would challenge them by saying “You are strong and you are achieved” and that

made me feel better. At the end, it was looking at a different possibility what kept me going; not

to just trust my thoughts but to find another answer that I liked better.

Some other thoughts came to mind, especially on later days. Since I do not usually

workout and even if I was adjusting my workouts to be suitable to my needs, I still had cravings

of stopping my routine because my body was too tired. I remembered times where I had felt sad

or unable to control something and how I got out of it. That made me realized that even if a

situation is uncontrollable (in this case it was not thought) we can still manage our emotions to

the best of our abilities. That gave me back my power, and it made me want to workout more and

not relapse. Sometimes we can become overwhelm and it is important to be kind to ourselves,

and I tried to practice that more every day. When I sometimes also feel like I am not able, I ask

God for help and in my case it reassures me.

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References

Ramnath, R., & Berry, W. (2020). Addiction: A human experience. Cognella.