Running Header: A JOURNEY OF SELF DISCOVERY

A Journey of Self Discovery

MATC Synthesis Paper

In partial fulfillment of the requirements for the Master of Arts Degree in Curriculum and
Teaching Department of Teacher Education, Michigan State University

Meghan Starr

July 12th, 2022

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Every once in awhile, I take the time to sit back in my high school classroom and just

observe. I might spot a student make an exaggerated face regarding something they just

remembered, hear a group of students burst into laughter, and might even overhear some of the

recent gossip. Though these observations are often entertaining, nothing is more exciting than to

see a student progressively grow more confident in who they are. So often you can see it in their

eyes. It is a spark that is undeniable that can not be easily explained. The pride in watching my

students reach these enlightenment periods in their lives is inspiring, but for so long this was just

not anything I could see in myself. I identified myself based on how others saw me. Some of

those identities are things such as being a wife, teacher, introvert, and older sister. Though many

of these identities and labels are ones I am proud of, they often say little about who I could be on

the inside. After I spent years observing my students it became clear that I needed to make a

change and focus on my own journey to self discovery.

As I get closer to the end of my Masters of Arts in Teaching and Curriculum (MATC)

experience, I really began to consider how much of an impact teaching, MATC, my students, and

co-workers have made on my life. When writing my statements for my original application to

Michigan State I even wrote that, “I truly believe that my love for teaching has completely

turned around the trajectory of my life. When one experience can make that much of a difference

in one’s life, you can not help but put everything you have into it.” For so much of my life, I

have allowed myself to sit on the sidelines, but these last four years I have truly invested in

myself. Maxine Greene made the proposition that “learning to teach ‘is a process of identity

development… it is about choosing yourself…” (Vetter, 2012, pg 30). For once, I decided to

choose myself. Each course, project, and reading has been just one step along that journey.
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Though that journey has not always been pretty, it has been a journey to self discovery that I was

desperately needing.

From day one of courses I was inspired. My first course of the program I took in Summer

Session 1 2019 and was CEP 800: Learning in School and Other Settings. One of my biggest

takeaways from the course that has been longstanding was the emphasis on habits and habit

building and breaking. During the course we were asked to complete a habit breaking exercise on

any habit we might have, which not only had a big impact on my day to day life but also

highlighted the time it will take students to get rid of, change, or acquire new habits in their work

or mindset. Charles Duhigg’s mentions how our brain is often looking for familiarity, which is

why so many find it so difficult to start a habit of going to the gym when we have been in the

habit of sitting on the couch (Duhigg, 2014, Part 1). Even professionally, I took this knowledge

and applied it to my professional practice by beginning good habits of writing to do lists at the

beginning of each week, checking on or printing certain materials each week, and even sending

positive emails to parents. These are all still habits that are a part of my routine even now. My

final conclusions for this course are explained in my Artifact 1 where I highlight my “Personal

Theory of Learning”, which I believe is an excellent view of my beginning mindset and desires

to critically analyze my practice (Program Goal 1). Some important take aways came in the form

of the significance of prior knowledge in both a positive and negative way as well as role

models.

Soon after, in Summer Session 2 2019, I decided to take TE 865: Teaching and Learning

K-12 Social Studies. This first summer and step on the journey, I had decided to quickly dive

into courses that jumped off the course catalog to me. As a high school Social Studies teacher

this was a course that I felt essential to include in my program plan and a great example of the
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Program Standard 2. As I reflect on the course, I can honestly say that this course was

groundbreaking in my practice on so many fronts. One of the largest aspects of the course was on

one of the biggest discussions in Social Studies education, which is the desire of most Social

Studies educators to create good citizens. Though this is true, I highlighted at the time that “I

could walk up to 20 people today and receive 20 different answers on what it means to be a good

citizen.” Much of our discussion was based around citizenship being a personal endeavor that

often stems from deeply rooted beliefs and concerns for each individual (Dewey, 1939) and as a

result it can look different for every individual. We also focused on the alarming number of

young people who do not vote in elections. Shockingly this discussion occurred prior to the 2020

Presidential election, the COVID-19 pandemic, and the re-rise of the Black Lives Matter

Movement. For that reason, this course ended up giving me the base and mindset that I needed in

order to tackle those tough events as a Social Studies teacher who often gets the bulk of the load

of explaining tough world events to students.

Not only was I asked to tackle tough conversations surrounding the purpose of Social

Studies education, but was introduced to a style of historical inquiry that has completely altered

my practice. The course highlighted the difference between traditional history like often mocked

in movies such as Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and the important change to historical inquiry.

Specifically, we discussed utilizing big relevant historical questions and allowing students to

dive into them utilizing primary and secondary sources. Since, I have taken this mindset to heart

and have spent the last four years progressively revolutionizing the way I present material to my

students. Every new unit, I challenge myself to rework at least two lecture style days into an

inquiry based lesson and have only continued to give myself that challenge since. We concluded

the course by trying to connect the personal side of history education to our practice, which can
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be seen in Artifact 2. In this project, I created an introduction project where students would dive

into their own family history. Not only did I use that project that following school year, but have

progressively edited it over time to be something that kickstarts every school year.

After completing my first summer in the program, I would then decide to take the fall

semester off and would restart in spring 2020 taking both ​TE 808: Inquiry into Classroom

Teaching and Learning and TE 843: Reading, Writing, and Reasoning in Secondary School

Subjects. To say that this semester would be considered a roadblock on the journey through my

experience in the MATC program is an understatement. About half way through the semester we

were all faced with the realities of the COVID-19 pandemic. For me personally, that meant that I

was suddenly stuck at home, had to move my work curriculum to an online platform, on top of

balancing the course load of my two courses. Looking back, this period was overwhelming and

frustrating, however, the life lessons learned can not be understated.

One of two courses that I chose to take in Spring of 2020 was TE 843, which stuck out to

me due to the large load of reading that Social Studies courses often have. This was amplified by

my recent desires to add more primary and secondary sources into my course after taking TE 865

the previous summer. Entering the course, I expected to find a series of strategies on how to

assist struggling readers, but instead I found a discussion circling around the types of literacy

choices I am making in my classroom along and a deep dive into the students who are being

asked to consume them. For me, my biggest take away came from trying to stray away from the

literacy based choices I am making feeling “schoolish” (Whitney, 2011, Pg 55) and allowing

myself to make more authentic choices. We want our students to be critically thinking and to also

be utilizing strategies that will positively impact them in their future lives. A great example of

how this made its way into my practice is in Artifact 4, where I was asked for this course to do a
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text-set analysis for the history course I was teaching at the time. In this example I showcase

critical thinking on how to implement various types of texts in a Social Studies Classroom

(Program Standard 2) and showcase critical thinking on my practice throughout in order to make

the best experience possible for my students (Program Standard 5). This course revolutionized

my understanding of the use of texts in the classroom and guided me to actively think about the

readers in my classroom and what they need to be successful even outside of school.

The second course I chose to take in Summer 2020 was TE 808 where the bulk of the

course surrounded the creation of a semester long action research project. This semester and time

in which I took the course made the creation of this project exceptionally difficult as the project

did havre to change mid semester due to the constraints of the at home learning environment.

Though this is true, the lessons learned during my action research project was one that are still

impacting my practice today. My project is highlighted as my Artifact 3, so can be seen in more

detail there. I chose to dive into my teaching methods and gain insight into what students enjoy,

thought they learned best from, and even did some self reflection. One of the biggest take aways

came in the form of balance of activity types. I realized that I began relying on document based

question (DBQ) style much too frequently, which began to minimize the impact of those types of

activities. Since, I took that knowledge and began reworking DBQ style activities into other

forms of inquiry based activities, projects, etc to ensure that I am mixing it up. In addition, I

found that students felt most motivated to complete activities when they felt connected or had

intrinsic motivation. For that reason, I identified the need for more inquiry based methods and

more intentional use of “hook” activities. These are all changes that I have made in my practice

on top of the reflective mindset it truly encouraged in me (Program Standard 4). One of the class

readings emphasized the need to not only create lifelong learners in students, but also in
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ourselves (Falk and Blumenreich, 2005, Pg 2). This has been a lesson that has followed me in all

aspects of my personal and professional life since.

After the completion of the tough Spring 2020 semester, I chose to take a few semesters

off as I was tasked with transitioning to a more long-term online style of teaching along with

rescheduling and replanning my wedding. Spring 2021, I would jump back into courses to take

on CEP 801: Psychological Development and ​TE 818: Curriculum in its Social Context. In both

of these courses I was asked to look at tough issues surrounding diversity in a complex and

important way. CEP 801, would specifically tackle the issue of intelligence in a way that I did

not expect, but was also inspired by long term. If I was to highlight one quote from the course

that overviews my biggest takeaway it would be Sternberg’s idea that, “the ability to achieve

success in life in terms of one’s personal standards, within one’s sociocultural construct.”

(Bjorklund and Causey, 2018, Pg 517). In other words, success and intelligence that we have is

based on the social and cultural situation we live and were raised in. One of my favorite

examples of this came from a week long discussion on twin studies and the discovery that there

is a higher correlation between identical twin IQ scores when they are raised together rather than

apart, which lets us know that we have to take environmental factors into account when

considering intelligence (McDevitt and Ormrod, 2020, Pg. 297). Ultimately, this proved to me

that we must look at each student as an individual who experiences our classroom in their own

unique way. I can not even say that my biological siblings and I experience identical situations in

the same way, so why do so many expect certain groups to experience and understand the

classroom environment to be the same (Program Standard 1)? To further my understanding on

this subject and relate it to my own personal experience, I decided to focus my final project on

women’s experience in education (Artifact 5). Some of my biggest take aways from this
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research activity include the impact of gender stereotypes on women’s confidence in the

classroom along with the impact of hidden curriculum (educators teaching multiple curriculums,

even when it was not on purpose) (Delamont, 1996, Pg 27). As a result of this course, I have

strived to see every student as an individual who does not bear the stereotypes of the group,

gender, family, etc.. they may come from or possess, but see them as a full individual who has

their own personal beliefs, passions, backgrounds, etc. Though this is work that will never be

done, it is something that I have worked hard to apply in my classroom every day.

The same semester, I also took TE 818 where we were asked to deeply analyze the

curriculum we are utilizing in our classrooms and the connection we are making to our modern

students. At the completion of this course I was asked to write an open letter to my students

(Artifact 6) where I identified my desire to “inspire” my students. Throughout the course, it

became clear to me that in order to “inspire” students today there needs to be an overhaul of

curriculum. Something that has really stuck with me is that the way in which our modern schools

are structured can be tracked back to the Enlightenment and Industrial Revolution (Robinson,

2010). As a history teacher, my students and I often discuss how that period was faced with mass

amounts of turbulence and though an airplane will almost always make it to its destination safely

when experiencing extreme turbulence, it does not mean that the journey to get there or the

landing was done perfectly. Similarly, I think it is essential to consider our system as a whole and

if something developed during a period of turbulence should always be seen as the gold standard.

Some themes that stuck out to me from the course that need to be considered include the

disconnects between curriculum and our physical planet, curriculum and students who might not

desire to pursue a college education, and even curriculum and positive uses of technology in the

classroom. In my final week of the course, I used a quote from Luvvie Ajayi Jones when she
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stated that “Fear has a very concrete power of keeping us from doing and saying the things that

are our purpose.” Ultimately, I believe that fear of being misunderstood, criticized, etc. have kept

many from pursuing the types of curriculum changes that our students need us to pursue. I truly

believe that my Spring Semester 2021 courses can be identified as the step on the journey that

challenged me to not be bogged down by fear, but to challenge myself to not just accept the

status quo. This desire even made its way into my daily practice as this would coincide with my

movement to a larger role on the World History curriculum team (Program Standard 6).

Soon after, I would continue challenging myself to consider the unique characteristics of

individual students when taking TE 846: Accommodating Differences in Literacy Learners in

Summer 2021 Session 1. The focus of this course was understanding the unique needs students

have regarding reading in the classroom by completing a semester long Literacy Learner Project

(Artifact 7). This project had me follow a student throughout the semester and actively work to

strengthen that student’s literacy skills. A long lasting mindset changed that originated with my

completed Literacy Learner Project was the significance of the home environment on a student’s

understanding and belief of literacy. The student I was working with had very little active

reading in her household that did not surround academics, so as a result they only saw reading as

a necessity when it came to academic pursuits. In comparison to my home growing up where we

often shared books, discussed lyrics and music, etc. I was shocked to learn how different that

student’s perspective of literacy compared to mine. As a result, I have since become much more

in tune to the environment my students may be coming from and how that can impact their

understanding of literacy. Though the long form Literacy Learner Project is not practical with a

load of 150+ students each semester, there were small pieces such as questions regarding literacy

in introduction surveys that were extremely helpful in understanding my students this past school
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year. In addition, in my high school social studies classroom, the aspect of literacy my students

often struggle with the most is being able to think outside the box and critically analyze text.

This course gave me the opportunity to truly analyze and discover new ways to best engage my

students in literacy in the classroom (Program Goal 1). I found much assistance in strategies

presented in course books including one I adopted immediately called “somebody wanted but

so” (Program Standard 2).

In the second half of Summer Semester 2021, I would continue on the part of my journey

where I tackled misconceptions and student diversity by taking TE 825: Diverse Learners and

Learning Subject Matter. Following TE 818 just a few months prior, this course continued those

important conversations while also challenging me to not be complicit in the struggles that so

many of my students face. A quote from the course that highlighted one of my biggest takeaways

came from Torre and Fine (2008) when they stated, “what is the difference between choosing

silence and being silenced? When is silence personally powerful for one’s own development, and

when does it result in an avoidance of social responsibility?” (Torre and Fine, 2008. p. 170). I

know that, for me, I have often been held back by fear of controversy or upsetting others. As a

result, I have allowed myself to become complicit in continuing the discrepancies that have

limited so many around the country. Examples of this phenomena can be easily found in some of

the curriculum I have taught as a social studies educator. For example, it is often taught that the

United States holds the core belief of justice and equality, however, we know that this has not

been true in the entirety of U.S. History for all groups. In the past few years these conversations

have only continued to increase across the United States and hypercriticism of educators, but

especially history teachers, has been overwhelming. During the course we even discussed how

our role as anti-racist educators has been only complicated based on the Eurocentric version of
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history that our state standards tend to facilitate. These conversations have continued to be a

source of heated debate in my professional experience, however, the call to action and

motivation I possess after taking courses such as the courses I took in 2021 have continued to

motivate me to strive to be an educator who will not be silent or avoid important conversations

(Program Standard 1). For my final project for the course I wrote a call to action letter to my then

administrators highlighting what I felt was necessary to create an environment that is fit for all

students (Artifact 8). My commitment to this cause has not faltered since.

After a few back to back semesters challenging myself to work through my privilege and

how that impacts both my personal and professional life, it only makes sense that the following

year would become a year of change. I first left the district I had been working in for years to

follow my childhood dream of making change in my hometown on top of choosing two final

courses that challenged me in ways that will propel me to the future. To begin Summer Semester

2022 I would take CEP 833: Creativity in K12 Computing Education in session 1. This course

challenged me in ways that I did not predict. Every week we were asked to learn a new coding

tool and create an activity that we could actively apply in our classroom. As someone with no

coding experience, I was extremely challenged by these tasks and found myself being more

frustrated than any other time in the MATC program. However, the pride I felt when completing

the course proved to me that perseverance can lead to some important moments of learning

(Program Standard 3). One of my favorite themes of the course relates to the idea of creativity

and how so many students lose their sense of creativity and wonder as they get bogged down by

the desire to earn a certain letter grade. Reflecting back on my own experience in the course I

can only wonder if this was an aspect of the struggles I faced in completing course projects.

Though this is true, in today’s world we need global citizens who are going to tackle the world’s
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problems that will not be found in the pages of a book (Resnick, 2017, p. 2). One of my favorite

analogies was that we want our students to be in a playground and not a playpen (Resnick, p.

148). My students should feel as if there are no bounds and that they can think, play, and discuss

in both a supportive and challenging environment. Though I have not had the opportunity to

apply these ideas to my classroom just yet, I know that I do not want to restrict my students from

reaching their ultimate potential (Program Standard 4).

As I began to get closer to my final few courses of the MATC program, I really began to

reflect on the journey I have been on. One of the toughest parts of journeys ending has to do with

what comes after. There are so many times in all of our lives where we are faced with the tough

question of “what comes next?”. As I began tackling that exact question, I found myself being

more and more invested in the idea of making change in my community. As a result, I chose to

take TE 872: Teachers as Teacher Educators as my capstone course. My identity and who I truly

am has always been something I have struggled with and the past four years have truly

challenged me to begin to see myself in new light. I do not have to be the quiet teacher in the

corner who does not question and just does what they are told. Instead, I can be someone who

steps up to be a role model and leader who will strive to challenge those around me to be the best

versions of themselves. By taking TE 872, my hope is to take the time to consider what I can do

to be the best teacher leader I can be. I have spent 4 years choosing myself and I can not wait to

take on the next journey that is just around the corner.

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Works Cited

Bjorklund, D. F., & Causey, K. B. (2018). Children's Thinking: Cognitive Development and
Individual Differences. Sage.

Delamont, S. (1996). Women’s place in education. Brookfield, MA: Avebury Publishers.

Dewey, John. “Creative Democracy - The Task Before Us.” Beloit College, 1939,
www.philosophie.uni-muenchen.de/studium/das_fach/warum_phil_ueberhaupt/dewey_cr
eativedemocracy.pdf.

Duhigg, Charles. The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business. Anchor
Canada, 2014.
Faulk, B. & Blumenreich, M. (2005). The power of questions: A guide to teacher and student
research. Portsmouth, NH: Heinemann.

McDevitt, T. M., & Ormrod, J. E. (2020). Child Development & Education. Melbourne, VIC:
Pearson Australia (a division of Pearson Australia Group Pty Ltd).

Resnick, & Robinson. (2017). Chapter 1: "Creative Learning". In Lifelong kindergarten:

Cultivating creativity through projects, passion, peers and play. Cambridge: MIT Press.

Resnick, M. (2017). Chapter 5: Play. In Lifelong kindergarten: Cultivating creativity through

projects, passion, peers, and play. Cambridge: The MIT Press.

Robinson Ken. (2010, October). Changing Educational Paradigms. RSA Animate.

Torre, M. E. & Fine, M. (2008). “Engaging youth in participatory inquiry for social justice.” In
Everyday Antiracism: Getting Real About Race in School. The New Press: New York.
(pp. 163-171).

Vetter, A. (2012). Teachers as Architects of Transformation: The Change Process of an

Elementary-School Teacher in a Practitioner Research Group. Teacher Education
Quarterly, 39(1), 27-49.

Whitney, A. (2011, October). In Search of the Authentic English Classroom: Facing the
Schoolishness of School. English Education, 44(1), 51-62.