i'm calling and you know it's me

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/36295744.

Rating: Explicit
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Relationship: Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung | V
Character: Jeon Jungkook, Kim Taehyung | V, Kim Namjoon | RM, Park Seo Joon,
Park Hyungsik, Min Yoongi | Suga
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, Angst, Drug Use, Seojoon
And Hyungsik Are Twins, And Taehyung's Older Brothers, Hockey
Player Jeon Jungkook, Deaf Kim Taehyung | V, Smut, Jeon Jungkook
is Whipped, Kim Taehyung | V is Bad at Feelings, Musician Kim
Taehyung | V, POV Multiple, Explicit Language, Anxiety
Language: English
Stats: Published: 2022-01-11 Updated: 2022-01-29 Chapters: 2/? Words:
13111

i'm calling and you know it's me

by locks

Summary

“This was a really great date.” Jeongguk gives him one last smile before dropping his hand
and turning and walking away.

Taehyung watches his retreating back for a long moment. Before realisation hits. “Hang on.
Did you just say date? Jeongguk. Jeongguk, did you just say this was a date?”

“What was that? Can’t hear you.”

Taehyung scoffs. “This was not a date!”

Jeongguk doesn’t stop, doesn’t turn around. He just lifts up the back of his hoodie and
shakes his hips like an idiot. “Take it up with my ass, bitch. Dream of me!” He throws two
fingers up and starts to whistle his way down the street.

Taehyung absolutely hates him. And the dumb butterflies in his belly.

Or, Jeongguk quickly falls for his new dealer's little brother, but Taehyung is determined to
not catch him. Or fall himself.

Notes

Happy 2022! New year and some new inspiration which I've been lacking a lot of lately
thanks to university.

This fic was inspired by the idea of hockey player Jeongguk as well as the lack of deaf and
hard of hearing representation I've seen in a lot of fiction. I've recently been attempting to
pick up BSL (British Sign Language) again and through it, I've been learning just how
excluded deaf and HoH hearing people can be.

With the beautiful platform writers have on here, I hope this can bring some attention to it
in a safe environment for all.

I also really needed sassy Taehyung to make a revival. He's my roots.

(Title from The Weeknd - Gasoline)

And yes, every chapter is a lyric from Dawn FM. It's been on loop the whole time of
writing this.
 take my breath
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

Hockey season is approaching, which means one thing.

Jeongguk wants to get stoned.

His coach doesn’t go crazy on random drug testing, but Jeongguk is still always careful. But now
that the season is close to starting, he knows he won't be able to smoke all that much. But he's still
got a couple of weeks to get high.

And the man who can help him with that is none other than biochemistry major, Kim Namjoon.

“Hyung,” he calls from where Namjoon is sprawled out across the couch at whatever party they’re
at, dead eyed. “I need the hook up.”

“I haven’t got anything on me, man,” Namjoon says. “Smoked the last of it.”

Jeongguk sucks his teeth. “Who’s your plug?”

“The Kim twins.”

Yikes.

“Want me to hook you up?” Namjoon asks, already pulling his phone from his pocket.

The Kim’s are some sketchy people, it’s well known. But he knows their shit is good, and
Jeongguk has no issue with sketchy.

“Fuck yeah, man.”

Namjoon makes a quick call, feeds them Jeongguk’s information before he nods to himself and
hangs up and begins typing on his phone. “Alright, sending you their number and address.”

Jeongguk’s own phone pings in his pocket and he saves the number Namjoon’s forwarded to him.
It takes him a moment to process the last part. “I have to go pick up?”

“Yeah, they don’t corner. Do it all out of their apartment. They’re cool, don’t worry.”

It’s not what Jeongguk was hoping for, he was hoping they could have a drop off point. But
desperate times. Luckily he’s only had one beer so far, so he can make the drive.

“I’ll be back,” Jeongguk calls over his shoulder, grabbing his jacket after dodging a drunk girl from
barging into him.

The drive isn’t too far away, but it’s in a sketchy part of town where all the buildings are the same
shade of brown and scream trap house. Jeongguk wouldn’t be surprised if he came back to his
Hummer missing the rims.

He stopped at an ATM beforehand to get the cash in full. He has a feeling the ATM’s around here
are rigged with card readers.
He parks up outside the building Namjoon text him and texts the number attached to let whoever
know he’s outside.

from:

come on up, door’s open

And that it is. The front door is half caved in, left on the latch.

Jeongguk climbs the four flights of stairs and can guess which apartment is the right one coming
off the muted music playing through the door. He knocks and it takes a good 20 seconds before
someone answers.

Kim Hyungsik stands there, joint between his lips and a towel draped around his neck. He doesn’t
say anything, just steps aside and gestures for Jeongguk to come in.

The interior of the place certainly doesn’t match the exterior. While the walls are exposed brick
and the hardware floor looks mangy, there’s also a huge flatscreen and creaseless Nike Air Force’s
lined up against the wall. The place definitely screams drug money.

Toeing his sneakers off, Jeongguk steps inside, hands buried in his pockets.

“So you’re Namjoon’s friend?” Hyungsik asks, locking the door behind him, latching it, and
bolting it. Necessary precautions, he supposes.

“Yeah,” Jeongguk returns simply. He should probably be more cooperative, but some would say
Jeongguk is too careless for his own good. What else is there to say? How they met?

Hyungsik nods, studying Jeongguk as he turns the music down on the expensive sound system. He
gives him a once over. “I recognise you. You’re on the school’s hockey team.”

“Yeah,” he repeats with a grin. The Kim twins did go to the same university, they must have
graduated a couple years ago. “You play?”

“Did freshman and junior year.” Hyungsik confirms and offers Jeongguk his joint. “Only decent
sport.”

Jeongguk easily accepts the joint. “Too fucking right,” he agrees, taking a long hit.

Snorting, Hyungsik nods. “You got the cash?”

Jeongguk nods as he exhales. This shit is stronger than the stuff Namjoon sells him. He’s been
missing out.

They exchange how much Jeongguk wants for how much it’ll cost him, and he fishes out his
wallet, pulling out the agreed amount.

Hyungsik takes it, counts it twice before pocketing it. “Make yourself at home, I’ll go grab your
shit.”

Once he disappears, leaving Jeongguk with the rest of the joint, he looks around. It’s definitely a
drug den, scales on the table, and a grinder set next to a stack of rolling papers. It doesn’t take long
for Jeongguk to feel the effects of the joint, his head pleasantly warm and he feels his muscles
finally relaxing. This is what he fucking needed.

Without the music blaring so loud, Jeongguk picks up on something else under it. It’s still music,
but it’s different from the bass-heavy rap playing through the speakers in the living room.

If curiosity killed the cat, it absolutely mutilates Jeongguk.

He tracks the sound down the hall, coming from a room with the door mostly ajar. Taking another
hit, he leans against the doorframe and watches as another guy with his back to him drums his
fingers along the keys of the keyboard in front of him, playing a classic that Jeongguk couldn’t
name even if there was a gun to his head.

It’s a nice tune, and he finds himself listening intently as the guy deftly plays with practiced ease.

"That was nice,” he says once the song comes to an end.

The guy doesn’t respond, doesn’t acknowledge Jeongguk as he shuffles through some sheet music
in front of him. Jeongguk isn’t bothered, just continues to watch.

When the guy stands up from his seat, Jeongguk feels his slowed heart rate jump when he catches a
glimpse of the side of his face.

He’s beautiful.

Beautiful, beautiful fucking features. Maybe this shit he’s smoking is just that good, but Jeongguk
swears he’s seeing an angel.

The guy must see him from the corner of his eye because he does a double-take and pins his eyes
on Jeongguk. His eyes are not welcoming, in fact, he looks annoyed.

It makes Jeongguk grin.

“What were you playing?” he asks.

He’s answered with quick footsteps and an unwavering glower before the door is suddenly shut in
his face with a slam, the tip of Jeongguk’s joint meeting the door and leaving a stain of dark ash
against the paintwork.

“Hey.”

A voice snaps him out of his gaze, and Hyungsik is suddenly right next to him, gaze steely.

Jeongguk stares back at him, unapologetic. “Who’s that?” He knows it’s not the other Kim twin.
He’s seen Kim Seojoon before and sure, while he’s pretty, he’s not beautiful like this guy and his
magic fingers.

“Not what you’re here for,” Hyungsik returns, leading the way back to the living room.

The transaction happens pretty quickly after that, Hyungsik clearly wanting him gone after
Jeongguk’s discovery. But Jeongguk doesn’t mind, distracted by the fat bag of weed he’s bestowed
upon and leaves on his merry little way.

But even when he gets back to the party, head laid on someone’s lap while his world spins, he
keeps seeing those sharp brown eyes and the tinkling of piano keys in his head.

He’s gotta know that guy.

-- -- --
Jeongguk is back sooner than he needs to be, having smoked through his supply quicker than
usual. He knows he could realistically go to Namjoon like he usually does, but he doesn’t want to
go to Namjoon.

He wants to see the pretty boy again.

This time it’s the other twin who lets him in. Seojoon ushers him in much like his brother had and
Jeongguk’s eyes immediately seek out the door that was slammed in his face before.

“How much are you after?” Seojoon asks.

Realistically, Jeongguk has enough cash on him for at least 4 grams. But that would last him longer
than he’d like.

“2 grams.”

Much like his brother had, Seojoon takes the money and disappears down the hall, giving
Jeongguk prime opportunity to peek at the door he’s interested in.

It’s shut. The ash stain is still there.

He’s eager, but he’s no snoop. He’ll have to cut his losses this time and just hope that next time
he’s around, the kid is there. Instead, Jeongguk takes a seat on the plush leather couch and waits.

And maybe, just maybe, he’s being rewarded for being a complete gem of a person, because a
couple minutes pass and out steps the guy he’s been thinking about non-stop for the last week and
a half. He’s clearly just woken up going off his sleep rumpled appearance, hair sticking up one side
and a red crease on his cheek. His slippered feet drag along the floor towards the kitchen but pause
when he catches sight of Jeongguk on his couch.

Jeongguk grins. “Hey.”

The guy stares at him, the sleepiness from his eyes fading into that hard look he so thoughtfully
bestowed upon him last time. With an unimpressed look, he continues his trajectory towards the
kitchen and Jeongguk is out of his seat and follows him before he can think better about it.

“I’m Jeongguk.”

He watches the kid pick up a bowl next to the sink, give it a tentative sniff before he begins to
shake Cinnamon Toast Crunch into it.

“What’s your name?”

The guy answers by stepping over to the fridge and pulls out some milk. He once again gives it a
cautious sniff and an even more cautious sip. Smacking his lips, he deems it good and pours it over
his cereal.

“So you play the piano, huh? That’s really cool.”

Jeongguk stares at the planes of muscle visible even through the guy's shirt, his back stretching the
cotton thin between his shoulder blades.

Still no response.

Biting down on a smile, Jeongguk leans his hands on the island counter that separates the kitchen
from the living room, rocking on his feet.
The guy turns to grab a spoon from a cutlery jaw and pauses when he sees Jeongguk staring at him.
He raises an eyebrow as if completely unaware of Jeongguk’s existence.

It makes his heart flutter.

“Cereal for dinner. Good choice,” he compliments.

Eyes drop to his lips and Jeongguk wets them subconsciously. When Jeongguk says nothing else,
the guy proceeds to grab himself a spoon and drops it with a clatter into his cereal. He starts
walking back to his room and Jeongguk watches him go.

“I’ll catch you later,” he calls out after him, just as the door closes.

Seojoon pauses for a moment as he makes his way back to Jeongguk, looking at him and then at
the door the guy disappeared behind. Much like his brother’s, his face goes callous.

It only stimulates Jeongguk more. Clearly, the guy isn’t someone the Kim’s want him to talk to.

“Here.” Seojoon drops the baggie down on the counter in front of him along with a package of
what looks like off-brand sour patch kids. “On the house. Need to get rid of them.”

Jeongguk definitely won’t say no to some free edibles. He just about pockets it all before Seojoon
is speaking up again.

“Now get out.”

Grinning, Jeongguk gives a two-fingered salute and heads for the door. He shoots another look at
the closed door and then one back to Seojoon, who clearly notices his gaze. “Pleasure doing
business with you.”

He lets himself out and once he’s back in his Hummer, edibles already open, Jeongguk wonders
just who the mystery kid is and why the Kim twins don’t want him talking to him.

-- -- --

Even though the season hasn't started, Jeongguk is already back into training. The team still meet
up in the rink once a week for practice, but Jeongguk is there almost daily, running drills across the
ice, delivering slap shots. Even now, after practice is wrapped up, Jeongguk is the last on the ice,
which isn’t uncommon. As the captain, it’s his job to be the best, to set the standard for the rest of
the team. He’s the first to arrive and the last to leave the rink.

From a young age, Jeongguk knew he wanted to play hockey. He used to find any excuse he could
to sleep over at his cousin’s house, because his Uncle had all of the sports channels, and Jeongguk
could sneak downstairs when everyone else was asleep and watch the NHL. Learning and writing
down all the different terms and names used in hockey, storing it all in his TMNT themed
notebook he got for his birthday one year.

When he was 13, he asked for the sports TV package for Christmas because his cousin turned out
to be an asshole and while he was committed to watching hockey, it wasn’t worth getting shoved
around by his cousin and his older friends at Jeongguk’s expense. Plus his cousin eventually grew
out of hanging out with Jeongguk, since Jeongguk's a few years younger than him.

Jeongguk still owes him a beating. Maybe next Christmas.

As soon as he was old enough to play, Jeongguk joined an ice hockey team. The schools he went to
were only small, the sports was usually limited to soccer and martial arts, so when he found out
there was a club, he begged his parents to let him sign up. He wishes he could say he was a natural,
but stepping on the ice for the first time is never a sophisticated experience. But Jeongguk is
competitive to the bone and he’d stay up night and day practicing until his feet bled and the tips of
his fingers were purple from the cold.

Luckily in high school, they did have a hockey division and he was able to join the team. He never
got to be captain like he wanted, which only made him work harder once he got to college and now
in his junior year, he's finally achieved that.

Hockey is a big outlet in his life and he'd be lost without it if for some reason he couldn't play. It's
a part of his identity, helped shape who he is as a person and the idea of not having it makes him
physically uncomfortable.

Realistically, he knows that being good at hockey isn’t a golden ticket to playing pro. Tons of
people are good at sports and it never amounts to professional status; he’s not delusional to think
that he’ll ever make pro. And he’s completely fine with that, hockey is his hobby that he enjoys a
lot. It’s important to have passions amongst other things, and he thinks that if he did play
professionally, it would eventually suck the joy out of it and him.

He’s never been one to be told what to do. He plays for himself and he thinks that’s important in
life.

But he still busts his balls to be the best.

He leaves just after 8 PM, gear slung over his shoulder and the collar of his shirt sodden from his
shower.

There’s a party tonight, but Jeongguk just wants to crash and burn in his bed.

But as luck would have it…

As he’s walking to his car, he spots a face far too familiar considering he’s only seen it all of two
times.

The Kim twins’ treasure is walking beside the parking lot, face lit up by his screen and earphones
in.

And when opportunity comes a knocking.

Jeongguk throws his gym bag in the backseat of the car and heads for the footpath leading out to
the street, just in time to stop the guy in his tracks. Despite the late hour and the fact someone just
blocked his path while his earphones are in, the guy looks up without fright and if anything, looks
more annoyed.

Jeongguk grins. “Fancy seeing you here.”

The guy stares at him, stares at his mouth, and Jeongguk’s grin stretches further.

Even with a good few feet between them, Jeongguk can hear the music blaring through the guy’s
earphones.

“Can I help you?” And wow, a pretty voice. The dialect is a little strange, Jeongguk can’t put his
finger on it.
“He speaks,” Jeongguk beams.

The guy simply stares, eyebrows raising under the curtain of hair. The music pauses.

“I never got your name,” Jeongguk continues.

“Because I never gave it.”

“So what is it?”

“Nunya.”

“Nunya. That’s pretty.”

“Yeah. Nunya business.” With that, the guy steps around Jeongguk to continue on his way and
Jeongguk cracks up. He jogs backward to fall in step with Nunya.

“Why not? I told you mine.”

“That’s great for you.”

“It’s Jeongguk,” he reminds, keeping his eyes on the guy’s face.

“You’re gonna fall if you keep walking like that.” His voice is soft, words almost a little slurred.

Jeongguk gasps. “You almost sound concerned.”

“Not,” he returns, eyes back down on his phone. He’s watching a video of himself playing the
piano. “Just don’t want you to take me down with you.”

“Hey, where are you from? Your accent is different.”

The guy looks up at him, face harsh.

“Let me guess. Nunya?”

Nunya from Nunya’s gaze drops back to his screen. “Bingo.”

Jeongguk laughs. “Don’t worry about me.”

“—wasn’t worried.”

“I could do this all day.”

Nunya stops with an irritated sigh, phone lowering to his side. “Look, I don’t have any shit on me.
That’s my brothers’ thing, not mine.”

Jeongguk’s eyebrows raise, hands sliding into his pockets. “They’re your brothers?”

“Yes.”

“Huh.” Jeongguk smiles. “That explains it, then.”

“Explains what.”

“Why they don’t want me talking to you.”

“I don’t want you talking to me.”

“But you’re talking to me right now.”

Another sigh. “What do I have to do to get you to leave me alone?”

Jeongguk rocks on the balls of his feet. “Let me take you out.”

“That’s not gonna happen.”

“Walk you home?”

“No.”

“How about your number?”

Nunya tongues the inside of his cheek, staring at Jeongguk. “Are you always this annoying?”

“I am.”

He looks like he seriously gives it some thought. Exhaling, he offers out his hand.

Jeongguk takes it in his own.

Nunya slaps it away. ”What the fuck, no— Give me your phone, asshat.”

Grinning, Jeongguk fishes his phone out of his pocket and unlocks it, handing it over.

Nunya shakes his head to himself, muttering something under his breath, and taps at the screen. A
few moments later, he hands it back, his number staring back at Jeongguk. “Happy? Now fuck
off.” With that, Nunya walks on ahead, and this time, Jeongguk doesn’t follow him.

He does watch him go, though. “I’ll be seeing you!” he calls after him.

“Not if I can help it!” With that, Nunya gives him the middle finger over his shoulder and
continues on his way, making Jeongguk laugh.

Result.

After that, Jeongguk feels like he has some energy to burn. He doesn’t think he could sleep even if
he wanted to now. So instead of heading home, he heads to the party. He’s out of weed but has
been resisting the urge to revisit the Kim’s too soon. He can tell he’s annoyed the brothers both
individually with his interest in Nunya, so he gives it some time before he returns. He knows
Namjoon is bound to be selling tonight, and getting blazed sounds pretty good right now.

Not an hour later, he’s got a drink in his hand and a joint between his lips. He’s sat on the couch, a
passed out guy wedged between him and Namjoon.

“So what’s the deal with the Kim’s and their secret brother?” he asks once he’s steadily stoned and
his tongue just loose enough just to get him into trouble. Not that he needs any help with that,
others would argue.

“What about him?”

Jeongguk takes a hit, voice thick with smoke when he speaks. “You know him?”
“Not really, no. The kid keeps to himself. The twins don’t like anyone getting too close,” Namjoon
replies as he takes the joint from Jeongguk when it’s offered.

“Yeah, noticed that,” Jeongguk snickers, taking a sip of whatever jungle juice that’s in his cup. He
tips his head back against the back of the couch, following the little laser stars floating across the
ceiling. “I’m interested.”

“In?”

“The brother.”

Namjoon coughs. “Bro. Don’t.”

“What?”

“Leave it, don’t try and start fucking with the Kim’s. No good shit ever comes from that.”

“I think he likes me.”

“I don’t care if he loves you,” Namjoon counters, sitting up. “Stay away from him.”

Jeongguk hums. “Nah, I don’t think I will. I can’t stop thinking about him, man. Think he hates
me.”

“You just said he likes you.”

“Same thing.” He sighs dreamily, but it turns into a splutter when he’s whacked in the stomach. He
lifts his head. “What?”

“Don’t get involved with the Kim’s.”

“I’m not trying to get involved with them. I’m trying to get involved with their brother.”

Ah, Nunya. Nunya and his pretty voice and pretty fuck off face.

Namjoon sighs, clearly resigned to the fact that once Jeongguk sets his mind to something, there’s
no talking him out of it. “Fine. But it’s your funeral. One I won’t be attending.”

“Pretty sure he’s an angel.”

“And I’m pretty sure you’ve smoked too much.”

Maybe so, but Nunya is definitely an angel. A pretty angel who Jeongguk can’t stop thinking
about. Dying wouldn’t be so bad so long as he had angels like Nunya to greet him.

If the kid really doesn’t want anything to do with him, then Jeongguk gets it. He won’t beat a dead
horse, he knows boundaries. But he’s not gonna let brothers and a pothead be the one to dictate
that.

He got his number.

That’s definitely a step in the right direction.

-- -- --

Without games to keep him occupied, Jeongguk has thrown himself back into his studies. Mock
exams are coming up, which means he’s spending a lot of his time in the library and at the vending
machine hitting number 32 for the watermelon flavoured RedBull. He’s also got a paper due in a
week that he’s only written the introduction for and in order to remain on the team, his grades have
to be great. Not good, but great. It’s more so a personal choice, and his need to be the best version
of himself. He’s an overachiever and it bites him in the ass at times, but it’s how he functions.

Returning to his table, Jeongguk manages to get halfway through his first paragraph on his report,
his tabs full of statistics on forensic accounting. It’s all riveting shit. But you know what’s even
more riveting?

Seeing the secret Kim brother walk in.

It’s been about two weeks since their interaction in the parking lot and Jeongguk hasn’t had the
chance to visit the Kim residence to pick up. His college loan only gets him so far and bussing
tables at Aera’s diner only covers him enough to keep food in his fridge for a struggle meal or two.
He told himself he’d take it easy because while he’s interested in Nunya, his wallet has started to
laugh at him.

Nunya takes a seat a few tables away from him, in perfect eyesight. He pulls out his laptop, sets
down a bottle of water and puts his earphones in. It dawns on him then that he must go to SNU as
well, something he hadn’t considered. He wonders how many times they may have crossed paths
without Jeongguk even clocking it.

Well, no time like the present.

Jeongguk openly stares at the guy, deciding to take a much-needed break after writing three
sentences. He props his chin on his hand and watches as Nunya boots up his laptop, the light
reflecting on his face, much like it had when they last met.

He’s not sure how long he stares before Nunya pauses to take a drink, eyes roaming the library
casually before they land on Jeongguk. He freezes, mouth on the straw of his bottle.

Jeongguk smiles and waves his fingers in greeting.

The guy blinks at him once before his gaze pointedly turns back to his laptop.

Laughing softly to himself, Jeongguk folds his arms on the table and drops his chin down across
the back of his wrist. He continues to stare at him until Nunya lifts his gaze directly to him, clearly
sensing.

He raises his eyebrows as if to say what the fuck are you staring at?

Jeongguk’s a little bit in love.

Grabbing his phone, Jeongguk pulls up his contacts.

to: nunya

we gotta stop meeting like this

Jeongguk’s eyes lift and Nunya is still staring at him, but his gaze shifts to his phone when the
back camera flashes, alerting him of a text. He looks back up at Jeongguk, clearly knowing it’s
him.

Jeongguk grins.
Picking up his phone with an inhale, the guy stares at his screen. He once again looks like he gives
it some serious thought, but eventually taps away.

Jeongguk’s phone vibrates in his hand.

from: nunya

it’s not without serious effort

stop staring.

He slams his phone back down and Jeongguk snickers.

to: nunya

what you working on?

Nunya closes his eyes when his phone flashes again. He snatches it up and shoots a pointed look at
Jeongguk.

from: nunya

can you guess what my answer is gonna be?

to: nunya

hmm

if i had to make an educated guess

either nunya or fuck off

from: nunya

not just a pretty face then

And that was absolutely the wrong thing to say.

Nunya looks like he immediately realises this.

to: nunya

so you think i’m pretty?

Jeongguk can see the irritation on the guy’s face and Jeongguk almost thinks he won’t reply when
he’s left on read for a good 30 seconds.

from: nunya

what do you want.

to: nunya

a lot

but i’ll start with your actual name

 from: nunya

you started with my number.

to: nunya

and i’ll proceed with what i should call you

Another long pause. He really doesn’t think he’ll get a reply this time, not when he looks up and
sees Nunya closing his laptop and packing up his things.

Jeongguk watches him go without sparing another look his way, disappearing behind a bookshelf
and completely out of sight.

Laying his phone back down, Jeongguk sighs through his nose, turning back to his laptop. His
fingers just touch the keys when his phone vibrates again.

from: nunya

taehyung.

Smiling to himself, Jeongguk is satisfied.

Taehyung.

Pretty Kim Taehyung.

At this point, Jeongguk is already half in love with Taehyung.

-- -- --

The next time Jeongguk goes to the Kim’s, it really is to pick up some weed. He’s fully prepared
for Taehyung not to be there since it’s in the daytime.

But as luck would have it, it just so happens that Taehyung is the one to answer the door.

Taehyung blinks at him.

And proceeds to shut the door in his face.

Jeongguk laughs under his breath.

A few moments later, the door is yanked open again. “What are you doing here?” Taehyung
demands, his pretty voice sounding even thicker today. “Are you stalking me now?”

“Don’t know if you know this,” he starts and sees Taehyung narrow his eyes. “But your brothers
happen to sell some pretty killer weed.”

Taehyung is back to staring at his lips as he talks before they flash back up. “Well, hurry up and
get this over with. I don’t need you leering at me in my own apartment.”

Grinning, Jeongguk steps in when the door is pulled open wider. “Leering?” he repeats as he turns
away from Taehyung to kick his shoes off.

Taehyung doesn’t answer him, but he’s looking at Jeongguk when he turns back around.
“Does my presence annoy you?”

“Your presence?”

“Yeah.”

“Yes. Yes, it does.”

“That’s strange,” Jeongguk hums, hands slipping into the pockets of his sweats, jingling his car
keys. “Because I could have sworn I saw you watching my Instagram stories. And I don’t
remember giving you my Instagram.” His smile is slow and obnoxious and he sees Taehyung’s jaw
go tight.

But he also sees the apples of his cheeks go red.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” Taehyung returns, the pronunciation of his words off. “Was making sure
your story wasn’t full of sleeping pictures of me.”

“Hey, where are you from?” Jeongguk asks.

“You adding to my file?”

“No,” Jeongguk laughs. “Just still can’t place your accent.”

Taehyung’s face seems to close off a little at that, arms folding across his chest. “Daegu.”

“Huh.” Jeongguk’s met many people from Daegu, he wouldn’t have been able to guess Taehyung
shares the dialect. “I like it. You have a nice voice.”

Blinking at him, Taehyung’s eyebrows furrow. He doesn’t say anything to that, just rolls his lips
together in a line.

Before Jeongguk can say something else, they’re interrupted.

“Jeon.”

Turning around, Jeongguk comes face to face with the Kim twins standing there, clearly not
looking pleased. They look between both he and Taehyung, annoyance evident.

“What are you doing?” Seojoon asks, arms folded across his chest. It brings attention to the
muscles in his arm and Jeongguk can make an educated guess that that’s the point.

“Just waiting for you,” Jeongguk returns, easy. “You got the stuff?”

The twins seemingly debate it, Seojoon’s eyes on his brother beside Jeongguk before he nods to
Hyungsik, who steps forward and holds out the baggie. But he pulls it away when Jeongguk
reaches for it. “Prices have gone up.”

Jeongguk smiles. “Is that so?”

“Yeah. It is.”

Humming, Jeongguk holds Hyungsik’s gaze before he pulls out his wallet. “Fair enough.” It’s a rip
off for sure, but Jeongguk’s got the cash. It was bound to happen.

Hyungsik plucks the cash from Jeongguk’s fingers and counts it out before he hands over the bag
as Seojoon steps around him to open the door.

Laughing softly under his breath, Jeongguk nods and tucks the bag in his pocket as he steps back
into his shoes. “Pleasure doing business with you, boys. Taehyung,” he says with a twist of his
head to the youngest brother, who’s already looking his way. He’s definitely stoking the fire at this
point. “I’ll see you.”

Taehyung of course says nothing, just stares at Jeongguk like he can’t quite believe what he’s
hearing.

The door shuts harshly behind him and Jeongguk smiles to himself and walks away to the sound of
arguing behind him. He doesn’t stick around to listen, but he has a general gist of what’s being
said.

“Stay away from him, Taehyung.”

“I have this handled, you know, I don’t need—”

Jeongguk gets too far away to hear the rest, but he’s amused. But he gets around halfway down the
second flight of stairs when there’s footsteps behind him. “Jeon.”

He turns to see Seojoon making his way down towards him, and he turns to face him. “What’s
up?”

As soon as Seojoon reaches the landing Jeongguk’s on, he’s shoved up against the wall and
Jeongguk’s breath is knocked out of his lungs. “What the fuck do you think you’re playing at?”
He’s gripped by either side of his jacket, held in place.

Jeongguk could break out of the hold, he takes on guys twice the size of Kim Seojoon on hockey
skates. But he stays docile for now. “Not playing at anything,” he returns, calm.

“You need to stay in your lane, kid. And stay away from Taehyung.”

“I think that’s up for him to decide. Not you or your brother.”

Seojoon scoffs. “You think this is a game? You’ve got moxie. I’ll give you that.”

“Why would it be a game?” At that, Jeongguk shrugs Seojoon’s hands off of him and stands
straight. “I think you need to calm the fuck down.”

“I’m not about to let you fuck around with my brother. He’s not just some dude you can play with.”

“Who said anything about playing with him?” Jeongguk argues, starting to get defensive. “You
know fuck all about me.”

Another scoff. “I’ve got a pretty good idea who you are.You're not hard to figure out, Jeon
Jeongguk. Captain of the hockey team. Think you’re hot shit, don’t you?” Seojoon steps closer into
his space, unblinking. The sodium yellow lights of the stairway create haunting shadows across his
face. “I used to destroy kids like you for fucking breakfast.”

“Think you need to stay in your lane, bro,” Jeongguk shoots back, shoving a hand between them
and pushing Seojoon back a few steps. “Step off, yeah? I’d hate to upset Taehyung by knocking
your teeth out.”

Seojoon snorts, smirk pulling at his features. “Keep that energy, yeah?” With that, he turns and
heads back up the stairs, staring down at Jeongguk once he climbs the next floor.

Jeongguk stands there for a long moment, breathing deeply through his nose.

After a moment, he blinks.

“Yo, you’re still my plug, yeah?”

The sound of the door slamming resounds around the block.

Tsking, Jeongguk shoves his hands back into his pockets and continues his way downstairs.

He thinks the twins aren’t giving their brother enough credit because Taehyung certainly does have
him handled. There’s definitely an interest there, Jeongguk can tell. To find his Instagram,
Taehyung must have actively searched for him. He’s sure there’s plenty of Jeon Jeongguk’s out
there, it would have taken him a while, no doubt.

Maybe Taehyung refuses to accept it, but Jeongguk has piqued his interest.

And he’s a patient man.

He’ll wait.

But one thing that Jeongguk isn’t?

Shameless.

Him? Never.

The next time he’s at the gym, he just so happens to record parts of it. While he’s not a stranger to
posting thirst pictures, he also likes to post his gym progress on his story. Nothing new. Been a few
months, but nothing new.

Propping his phone up, Jeongguk records himself lifting weights, curling the barbell up to his
chest. It just so happens that the first top he reached for today was sleeveless.

And if he just so happens to lose his shirt while he’s doing pull-ups, it’s purely because the heat
has gotten to him.

And if he just so happens to put Chopin over his gym videos, then it’s purely because it’s just
inspiring. Nothing to do with the cute boy who plays piano.

Nothing at all.

Later that night, once he's showered and in bed, a heat pack over his belly to aid the ache, he goes
through the people who have viewed his story.

A grin tugs at his lips when he sees Taehyung’s name sat close to the bottom of all the videos he
added, clearly one of the first people to have watched them.

What a coinkydink that is.

Jeongguk did not see that one coming at all.

Taehyung’s own account is private, so Jeongguk can’t browse his posts. Out of pure curiosity, he
hits the request button. And the next time he goes on Taehyung’s page to see if he’s been accepted,
 he snickers when he sees the request has been declined.

Rolling over onto his sore belly, Jeongguk giggles, grinning at his phone. His legs kick behind him
like a schoolgirl.

“Ah, what are you doing to me, Kim Taehyung?”

Chapter End Notes

Already written a couple chapters, but it's been a hot minute since I last wrote a
chaptered fic, so please be patient, children.

My twitter for ramblings of a mad man.

 the ice inside my veins will never bleed
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

Taehyung likes to spend his days in the practice rooms where no one can disturb him.

He prefers it to being at home where his brothers have people flowing in and out at all hours of the
day. He can also escape from their hovering. Taehyung knows they mean well, but it gets on his
nerves. It grows tiresome.

So his favourite spot is here, preferably in practice room 5. Most of the time, the only people that
come to the practice rooms are other musicians who also don’t wish to be disturbed. Every now
and then, you’ll get the random group of people who use them to fuck around, or even hook up.

Taehyung’s had the unfortunate luck of walking into too many blow jobs for his own well-being.

But for the most part, this is his safe space.

He can get lost in his work, in his music without fear of someone breathing down his neck.
Especially when he has a recital in a few months. His anxiety is bothersome enough, he doesn’t
need other annoyances contributing to it.

Speaking of annoyances.

The flash on his camera pulses to alert him of a new text. Taehyung peers at it from the corner of
his eye and immediately sucks his teeth, fingers not stilling on the piano.

He manages to get through one more measure before he’s reaching for his phone.

from: annoyance

wyd

don’t say nunya

This particular annoyance of his has been unexpected.

Taehyung has never had to deal with a person being this persistent before. They usually get the
hint by the lack of communication Taehyung provides, which isn’t always his doing, but it works
all the same.

But Jeon Jeongguk seems undetered by his fuck off attitude. Not even by Seojoon and Hyungsik
who work twice as hard as Taehyung to keep people away from him.

Taehyung doesn’t know why he keeps attempting to talk to him. Not when his brothers are the
ones he’s there for.

to: annoyance

stuff. that’s what i’m doing

from: annoyance
 i love stuff

can i join

Taehyung scoffs. “No.”

to: annoyance

no.

He’s still not entirely sure what Jeongguk wants from him. If he’s trying to get a quick lay, surely
he’d understand by now that is not what Taehyung is offering.

Before he really gives himself time to process what he’s doing, Taehyung opens up Instagram and
finds Jeongguk’s account in his search history. He refuses to follow him, can only imagine how
smug he’d be if he did.

There’s a new update to his story since last night when he recorded himself attempting to figure
skate in hefty hockey gear. It was entertaining. Dumb, but entertaining.

The last update was posted about half an hour ago and shows Jeongguk sitting in the library, a
boomerang of him scrunching his nose up with a life is pain sticker. Dramatic.

to: drama queen

focus on studying, meathead

from: drama queen

only sick people would enjoy being stalked by pretty boys

cough cough

i’m sick

to: annoying queen

you wish.

just taking all measures to make sure we don’t cross paths

from: annoying queen

lemme link up with you

i’m studied out

Taehyung types out a quick no , but doesn’t hit send.

He doesn’t know why he’s even entertaining the idea. He has work to do and what reason does he
have to hang out with the guy?

Hemorrhoids are less irritating.

I like it. You have a nice voice. I think about it a lot.

Taehyung splutters at the memory, scowling at himself.

to: fucking annoying queen

do a backflip off a bridge

then we’ll talk.

Taehyung pockets his phone so he won’t be distracted again and throws himself back into his
work. He’s only got 3 measures composed so far, and he’s still not sure about them. He’s been
working on this since last term and the amount of balled-up sheet music he has on his bedroom
floor is telling of how he’s suffering. He has plenty of time to finish this, but he knows how he
functions. He’ll be tinkering with it until the day of submission. Even then, once he’s submitted it,
he’ll come up with a whole new piece just to torture himself and spend weeks wondering why he
couldn’t have thought of it sooner.

In these types of situations, Taehyung has everything to prove. He knows the way people think
when they look at him when they learn about him. There’s always that amazement, but it’s lined
with pity and Taehyung fucking hates it with a burning passion. It doesn’t help his confidence that
he’s here on a music scholarship. Some people would take it for granted, but Taehyung knows it’s
the only reason he’s here and he wishes he could have earned his way into college like most
people, through good grades and a generic personal statement boasting about himself.

He’s got everything to lose and everything to prove.

That’s why he can’t be wasting his time on pretty boys with a lack of sense.

Eventually, Taehyung’s left hearing aid starts to beep, alerting him the battery is low. He’s been
ignoring it for the last half an hour and knows he’s pushing it at this point. He curses not bringing a
spare battery, but his fingers are beginning to cramp from merciless playing, so he knows it's best
to call it a day. He’s still coming down from burnout, he doesn’t need to throw himself back into
the abyss.

He packs up his things just as his hearing aid finally dies on him, ear going quiet. Even after years
of wearing them, he still lifts his hand and snaps his finger by his left ear, and only picks up the
sound from his right ear.

Making his way down the hallway, he backtracks when he peaks into a window and sees Yoongi
locked up in room 2. He’s got his laptop open, hand to his chin as he works on a music software.
Yoongi hits the space bar and Taehyung has to really tilt his head to hear, but he can hear the beat
of the song he’s working on.

Smiling, Taehyung raps his knuckles against the door.

Yoongi peers up at him over the top of his laptop, eyes lifting. The unimpressed look disperses into
something softer and he sits up, lifting his hand to signal Taehyung to come in. “Hey, kid.”

“Not bothering you, am I?” Taehyung asks as he opens the door a little more.

“You? Never.” He gives Taehyung a small smile and Taehyung grins, stepping further in and
letting the door shut behind him. He shrugs off his backpack as he steps behind Yoongi.

“What are you working on?”

“Just a personal project,” Yoongi answers. “Have a gig in a couple of weeks.”

Taehyung gasps, bag dropping with a thump by his feet. “A gig?!”

“Don’t get excited.”

“I’m excited.”

Yoongi twists in his swivel chair to face him. “Don’t.”

“When is it? Where? Who’s performing?”

“You’re a little loud, kid.”

Taehyung grins, dropping down into one of the beanbags against the wall. “Sorry. The battery’s
died in one of my hearing aids.”

Yoongi tsks. He lifts his hands and signs. “Spare?”

“Nah, I forgot. You don’t need to sign, it’s okay,” Taehyung assures. “I can still hear you.”

“It’s good practice,” Yoongi dismisses.

Taehyung bites back a ridiculous giggle, touched. He’s been a fan of Yoongi’s for a long time now,
even before he started attending SNU. He first met him at an underground rap gig after watching
him battle it out against some of the biggest names in the game. It was a pure accident, his brothers
were just starting out selling and knew places like that were always bound to have a payoff. They
brought Taehyung along out of reluctance, but he insisted or he’d pull the little brother card and
snitch.

They all knew it was bullshit, Taehyung’s no rat, but it was a good excuse for them all to fall back
on.

Taehyung barged his way to the front of the crowd to watch Yoongi perform when he came out,
his lyrics sharp and meaningful and it completely blew 17-year-old Taehyung’s bollocks. He’d
never heard lyrics so honest wrapped up in such an aggressive beat. It was the whole package.
Later on, Taehyung learned that Yoongi came from very humble beginnings and it only made his
respect swell further.

Agust D has been a big name in Taehyung’s life and a huge inspiration to him.

To say Taehyung is a fan is an understatement.

And now he gets to call him a friend.

“Are you working on your composition?” Yoongi asks and Taehyung nods.

“Not going very well.”

“It’s hard, but you’ll figure it out.” Yoongi did the same course as Taehyung, so if anyone knows
the stress, it’s him. “Feel free to shoot me a file of it. I’ll give it a listen and try to offer some
advice.”

Taehyung grins, fingers curling into the sides of the beanbag. He still gets the urge to pinch himself
every time they talk. “Thanks, hyung. That means a lot. I’ll definitely take you up on that.”

“How are your brothers doing?”

Sighing, Taehyung sinks further into the bag of no return, condemning himself to the pit. “I can
feel their breath on my neck right now, that’s how they’re doing.”

It just so turns out that he didn’t discover Yoongi on his own. His brothers knew him first.

Seojoon and Hyungsik had headed backstage to continue their selling after paying off the bouncer
and Taehyung, brimming with adrenaline, decided to follow them. He snuck behind them into the
green room and vividly remembers peeking around Hyungsik’s arm to see Yoongi sitting on one of
the couches.

Yoongi spotted him first, but by the time his brothers saw him, Taehyung was already vaulting
over the coffee table full of cigarette butts and empty beer bottles to talk to Yoongi.

(“Fucking hell, Taehyung. I told you to stay outside,” Seojoon had sighed.

“You were so cool out there!” Taehyung all but yelled in Yoongi’s face, elated.

“Sorry about him, Yoongi,” Hyungsik apologised. “Taehyung.”

“It’s all good,” Yoongi dismissed. “This your little brother?”

Taehyung’s eyes almost rolled right out of his fucking head onto Yoongi’s feet. “You know each
other!?”)

Turns out they were in the same year at college and often hung out. Taehyung couldn’t believe it.

“They mean well,” Yoongi tries. “They’re just looking out for you.”

“I can look out for myself.”

Yoongi cracks a smile and signs. “Damn right you can.”

Taehyung returns the smile. “Will you let me come see your gig? You know I’ll find it either way.
Save us both the trouble.”

Sighing, Yoongi nods. “Yeah. Alright. I’ll send you the address. There’s a fee at the door. Just
don’t tell your brothers.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes. “I don’t need their permission.”

“No, but we both know what they’re like.”

“Oh, you mean overbearing? Yeah.”

Yoongi snorts. “Was gonna say protective, but yeah. We’ll go with yours.”

They talk for a little while longer before Taehyung heads out, knowing Yoongi is busy.

“Good luck with the project, hyung. I can’t wait to hear it.”

“You too, kid. Remember to take me up on my offer to help,” Yoongi reminds and Taehyung
promises he will.

As he’s walking home, Taehyung checks his phone to text the family group chat but gets distracted
when he sees he has a video attachment sent from Jeongguk.
 from: fucking annoying queen

bet

Pressing play, Taehyung watches as the camera trains on the school’s pool before it pans up to the
top diving board. Jeongguk stands at the very top, just wearing his boxers. “It’s no bridge but it’s
the best a guy could do.” He blows a two-fingered kiss down to the cameraman, who snickers
before he turns around and proceeds to do a fucking backflip into the pool.

The video ends with Jeongguk resurfacing, shaking his hair out of his face as the water gurgles.
“Did it look good?”

Taehyung stares down at his phone, at the still image of Jeongguk grinning from the pool, one eye
squeezed shut.

Taehyung purses his lips.

He’s impressed.

Fair play, Jeon.

-- -- –

A couple of days later, Taehyung heads to the library. Amongst composing, he’s got a paper to
work on for music theory. It’s not his favourite subject, it dissects too much. Taehyung enjoys his
music with the ins and outs of it, but it’s part of the grind, alas.

As he’s walking through to find a vacant table, his eyes slide over a familiar face.

Jeongguk’s sat at a table, currently highlighting a passage in a textbook. The overwhelming urge to
turn tail and run itches at Taehyung. It’s not really a reason he can explain, it’s a defense
mechanism, he knows. He’s still not sure what Jeongguk wants from him, where his interest lies.
He hasn’t got an iota of a clue. Maybe it’s just his behaviour. His brothers explained to him the last
time Jeongguk stopped by that he seems dangerous.

He doesn’t think dangerous is the right word, and the irony of his brother saying that to him
definitely confused him more than anything. He doesn’t know what they meant by it and he’s sick
to the back teeth of his hyungs constantly overstepping his boundaries. Jeongguk seems like a lot
of things, but dangerous isn’t the label Taehyung would give him.

Instead of leaving, Taehyung could simply just refuse to acknowledge Jeongguk. Could find
another table and set up camp there. He could.

But for some reason, against his better judgment, he finds himself heading straight for Jeongguk’s
table before he can think better.

As he approaches the other side of the table, Jeongguk glances up with eyes that Taehyung’s seen
in his own reflection one too many times. The dull look of fruitless struggle. But when he clocks
it’s Taehyung, he straightens his posture and grins.

“Hello, pretty boy.”

Taehyung almost regrets his decision immediately. But still, he takes off his backpack and sets it
down on the table as he hooks his foot around the leg of the chair and draws it out. “We’re
studying,” he states the obvious.
“Are we? That’s no fun.” Jeongguk continues to smile at him with that face and Taehyung feels a
nerve twinge in his neck.

“Stop talking.” Taehyung takes a seat and pulls out his laptop, the Google doc he was working on
late into the hours of the morning still up. He gives the last paragraph a read-through to try and
pick up where he left off, but it’s hard when he can feel Jeongguk’s eyes on him. “And stop
staring.”

When he risks a glance up through his fringe, Jeongguk has his eyes squeezed shut and his lips
tucked and pressed together.

Taehyung scoffs and returns to his paper. “Anyone ever tell you you’re too much?”

“Only all of them. What are you working on?”

“My music theory paper.”

“Of course you’re studying music.”

Taehyung’s eyes flash up, sharp. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Jeongguk uncaps an orange highlighter cap with his teeth. “You’re always listening to music,
always playing it, too, I assume.”

Taehyung relaxes a little. “How do you know I’m always listening to music?”

“I see you around campus,” Jeongguk says, highlighting a sentence under the previously blocked
out blue one. “Always have your earphones in. Look lost in your own world.”

“Why don’t you approach me if you see me? Thought you would.”

Jeongguk looks up at him briefly before his gaze returns to his textbook. “Don’t want to disturb
you.”

It’s not the answer Taehyung was expecting, honestly. He thought Jeongguk would take any
opportunity to disturb him. Perhaps that’s him being vain.

Surprisingly, Jeongguk doesn’t keep trying to talk. He actually focuses on his work, but Taehyung
can still feel his gaze heavy on him every now and then. It’s not subtle, but Jeongguk doesn’t have
a subtle bone in his body, he’s gathered.

It’s not so hard to get lost in his work after that. It’s stressful but doable. He anxiously rakes his
fingers through his hair, pulling it and tucking it behind his ear, fidgeting. He manages to get
through half of his literature review before there’s a tap on his shoulder and he turns to see a
young-looking girl, sheepish in posture.

“Sorry to bother you,” she whispers, low enough for Taehyung to struggle even with his hearing
aids. “But do you happen to know where the engineering books are?”

Taehyung nods and gestures over to the right side of the bookshelves in front of him. “There’s a
bunch right at the back. In the science section.”

With a bow, the girl hurries off and Taehyung turns back to his laptop. Exhaling, he chances a
glance up and catches Jeongguk staring at him, an unreadable look on his face.

“What?”
Jeongguk shakes his head, lips curling up in a small smile. “Nothing,” he says, attention going
back to his work.

Taehyung frowns but doesn’t comment on it.

The pair of them stay there for a little over two hours before Jeongguk closes his book and
stretches over the back of his chair with an obnoxious groan. He hears Jeongguk’s spine crack.
“Let’s go grab some food.”

Taehyung pauses on the word he’s typing, staring at the blinking cursor. He skipped out on
breakfast and lunch in favour of getting some more shut-eye, and his stomach is definitely paying
for it. He shuts his laptop. “Okay.”

Jeongguk blinks at him, surprised. He grins. “Really?”

“No.”

His smile drops into a pout and Taehyung rolls his eyes.

“C’mon. Let’s go.”

They pack up their things and head out of the library together, which is surreal in itself. He didn’t
think he’d willingly be walking along Jeongguk. But here they were.

“What do you want to eat?” Jeongguk asks.

Taehyung gives it some thought. “Soy sauce marinated crab,” he decides. “With a fuck ton of
rice.”

“Ooh, an excellent choice,” Jeongguk praises. “I happen to know a great spot.”

“I too know a spot.”

Jeongguk looks at him, amusement evident on his face.

Taehyung stares back blankly.

Jeongguk sizes him up. “Where’s your spot?”

“Where’s yours?”

Pursing his lips, Jeongguk looks ahead. “Don’t know if I should reveal this secret now.”

“You were going to five seconds ago.”

“But now you have a spot.”

Taehyung tsks, leading the way. “Fine, we’ll go to my spot, then.”

“No! I wanna go to my spot.” Jeongguk stops in his tracks and Taehyung turns to look at him.

“Are you a child?”

“Yes. We’re going to my spot.”

“Christ,” Taehyung exhales, regretting this decision. He looks at Jeongguk when he continues to
just stand there. “Show me, then.”
They walk down the street, about a ten minute walk from the university. Taehyung’s surprised
Jeongguk doesn’t attempt to fill the silence that Taehyung won’t, but he’s quiet, brushing up
against Taehyung’s side every now and then. He doesn’t know if Jeongguk is just one of those
people that veers off to the sides when they walk, or if he’s doing it intentionally, but Taehyung
allows it after one too many looks his way that Jeongguk chooses to ignore.

“Here it is,” Jeongguk announces a few minutes later.

Taehyung stares at the front of the restaurant, huffing a small laugh through his nose.

“What?”

Taehyung leads the way inside. “This is my spot.”

“You’re kidding,” Jeongguk laughs, following behind. “No one ever knows this place.”

“Clearly the people you know don’t have taste.”

They claim a table inside, even though it’s not terribly cold outside. It’s better to eat soy sauce crab
inside, he believes. It’s not a hot dish, so being warm is pivotal.

It’s a quiet night, so Taehyung’s able to take the table he usually claims. He pauses where he’s
shrugging off his jacket when Jeongguk takes the seat next to him instead of across. “What are you
doing?”

“What?”

“Stop that. Sit on the other side.”

“No. I always sit here.”

Taehyung’s eyebrow raises. “In this exact spot? This side.”

“Yep.” Jeongguk looks up at him with a smile that tells him he’s absolutely lying, but Taehyung is
stubborn.

“Fine. We’ll both sit the same side like a couple of idiots, then.”

“Perfect.”

“Excellent.”

Taehyung presses his lips together as they fall into another silence, Jeongguk browsing the menu
taped to the table while Taehyung stares at the empty space in front of him. After a moment, he
sighs and goes to stand. “This is ridiculous, I’ll move.”

“No!” Jeongguk grabs hold of Taehyung’s wrist, not letting him get too far. “No, it’s fine like this.
Just sit, yeah?”

Taehyung stares down at him, eyes round and hopeful. It makes him frown.

He drops back into his seat ungracefully and ignores Jeongguk’s grin.

When the waitress comes over a few minutes later, Taehyung tries his best to ignore the clear
confusion on her face. Jeongguk orders first, getting a mix of the soy sauce and spicy crab, while
Taehyung sticks to just the soy sauce with an extra side of rice. They get some soju along with it
and once she’s gone to place their order, Taehyung’s aware of how out of his comfort zone this is
for him.

He fidgets in his seat, palms rubbing along his knees.

Taehyung wouldn’t say he’s an anxious person around people, he’s not one to shy away when
talking to them. He’s just guarded. But something about Jeongguk puts him on edge and he doesn’t
know what it is. It gets the best of his nerves.

“Are you trying to get like a discount or some shit?” he finally has to ask, looking at Jeongguk.

Jeongguk blinks at him. “On the crab?”

Christ. “ No . From my brothers’ shit.”

“Why would I need a discount?”

“Everyone always needs a discount on green.”

Jeongguk shrugs. “No, I’m good paying the prices they set. Why?”

Taehyung’s confusion only runs deeper. “Then I don’t get it.”

“Get what?”

“This. Us. What you’re doing.”

“You mean me liking you?”

Taehyung stares. “You liking me.”

“Yeah, that’s what this is. I like you.”

Oh. “Oh.”

Taehyung’s not entirely sure what to say to that. So he doesn’t say anything, just stares at the
stupidly vacant seat across from him. Luckily Jeongguk doesn’t say anything else.

Until he does.

Jeongguk giggles. “ You said us.”

“I’ll murder you.”

When their food is brought out, Taehyung is still thinking about it. He pulls the shell off the crab's
body and Jeongguk watches him do it as he sucks meat from the crab's legs. Taehyung adds rice to
the shell and some of the meat and mixes it all together. He lifts the spoon to his mouth.

“Can I have a bite?”

Taehyung pauses, spoon halfway to his lips. “You have your own.”

“But yours looks better.”

“You can make it yourself.”

“I wanna try yours.”

Lowering his spoon with a breath through his nose, Taehyung flails a little for a second before he
holds the rice-filled shell out for Jeongguk.

Jeongguk opens his mouth.

“You’re kidding.”

“Ahhhh.”

“Jeongguk, you’re capable of—”

“Ahhhhh,” he gets louder, leaning closer and Taehyung hisses, quickly shutting him up by shoving
the spoon into Jeongguk’s mouth.

“You’re ridiculous,” he half laughs, half spits as he glances around them.

Jeongguk just hums as he eats. “That’s real fuckin’ tasty.”

“Now you can make it yourself.”

Jeongguk opens his mouth again.

Taehyung shoves a crab leg into his mouth, making him choke.

It hits the spot. Between the soju, the crab, and the weird brushes of their knees under the table,
Taehyung’s belly is warm as they eat.

“I ran out of rice,” Jeongguk whines, staring at Taehyung’s extra portion.

“Rookie mistake,” he returns around a mouthful.

“I’ll trade you a spicy crab for some rice.”

“I don’t like spicy crab.”

“Soju?”

“Nope.”

“How about a kiss.”

It’s Taehyung’s turn to choke. He blinks wide eyes at Jeongguk, a grain of rice falling from his
stuffed mouth and into his lap. “Wha’?”

Jeongguk picks the rice off his thigh and eats it. “What?”

“A kiff?”

Jeongguk nods, but his eyes are on Taehyung’s rice.

Heart jumping, Taehyung just shoves the bowl at him once he’s managed to dislodge the food from
his throat. His face feels unbearably hot. “Just. Take it.”

Jeongguk cheers, copying Taehyung’s method of filling the shell with rice and meat and mixing it
all together.

By the time they’ve finished their food, Taehyung’s ears are burning hot and his hands are clammy
again.

This is strange. It’s strange, isn’t it? This is strange.

They split the bill down the middle, and Taehyung has to manually breathe once they step outside
to try to control how quickly his heart is racing. He doesn’t realise Jeongguk isn’t by his side until
he looks up and sees him walking. “Where you going?” he asks before he can stop himself.

Jeongguk pauses and turns around to stare at him. “To take you home.”

Taehyung can’t imagine what soy sauce crab will taste like coming up, but he imagines not good.

They once again walk in silence, but Taehyung doesn’t think he could talk right now, even if he
wanted to. His mind won’t shut up. The chill has picked up now, the evening heavy in the air, and
Taehyung glances at Jeongguk and sees him bury his chin down into his hoodie, the tops of his
cheeks a blotchy red.

When they arrive at Taehyung’s apartment building, Jeongguk tips his head back to stare up at it.
He looks like he wants to ask to come inside, and Taehyung half expects him to, but he seems to
think better of it.

“You gonna be okay getting up?” Jeongguk asks and Taehyung nods.

“Of course.”

“Okay, good.” He removes one hand from his hoodie and squeezes Taehyung’s wrist, lingering.
“This was a really great date.” Jeongguk gives him one last smile before dropping his hand and
turning and walking away.

Taehyung watches his retreating back for a long moment. Before realisation hits.

…wait.

“Hang on. Did you just say date? Jeongguk. Jeongguk, did you just say this was a date ?”

“What was that? Can’t hear you.”

Taehyung scoffs. “This was not a date!”

Jeongguk doesn’t stop, doesn’t turn around. He just lifts up the back of his hoodie and shakes his
hips like an idiot. “Take it up with my ass, bitch. Dream of me!” He throws two fingers up and
starts to whistle his way down the street.

Taehyung absolutely hates him. And the dumb butterflies in his belly.

-- -- –

Yoongi sends Taehyung the address for his gig a few days later as he’s walking to the practice
rooms.

It’s an underground club that Taehyung’s been to a few times now, a local place that holds these
specific kinds of events for new and upcoming rappers and occasionally brings back the OG’s.
While rap isn’t his particular scene of music, it’s never stopped Taehyung from attending these
types of events. The same goes with seedy jazz bars on the outskirts of town and reggae clubs and
rock festivals. There are so many different expressions of music and Taehyung finds it hard to call
someone a musician if they isolate themselves to one type of music.
He doesn’t get it, there’s a lot to learn from different genres. The most profound shit he’s ever
heard has come from underground scenes, rappers with nothing to lose and everything to gain.
When you’re at the lowest is when you can be at your most creative, most honest. He admires it so
much.

He’s still smiling down at his phone when he bumps into someone, or more so walks into
someone, quickly realising they’re not moving. They’re blocking his path.

Looking up, Taehyung sighs through his nose.

“What’s got you smiling at your phone like that?” Jeongguk asks through what can only be
described as a pout. He tongues the inside of his cheek and nods. “You’ve got other bitches,
haven’t you.”

“Shut up,” Taehyung scoffs, stepping around Jeongguk, not surprised when he falls into step with
him. “No.”

“Then what is it?”

“I’m going to see my friend perform for the first time in a while.”

“Oh, for real? Can I come?”

Taehyung looks at Jeongguk, blank. “You like to insert yourself into my life, don’t you?”

Jeongguk grins. “Yes.”

Exhaling, Taehyung gestures vaguely. “It might not be your thing.”

“If you like it, it’ll be my thing.”

Taehyung stops in his tracks and Jeongguk does the same. He points at him. “Pack it in.”

“Pack what in?”

“Stop saying things like that,” Taehyung snaps. “Just talk normally. You talk to me like you’re in a
dating simulator.”

“So you agree now that we’re dating,” Jeongguk nods. “Good.”

“No! What? I’m—” Done. He’s very done. “Why.”

“Why what.”

“Why are you asking to come when you don’t even know what it is,” Taehyung demands, able to
feel the muscles in his face shifting into a scowl. “That’s stupid.”

Jeongguk runs a hand through his hair with a yawn, ruffling through the back of it. He looks tired
and Taehyung wonders why. But he doesn’t ask. “Because I get to spend time with you? Duh.
Who’s the stupid one now?” He’s tired but he’s smiling, even with his eyes heavy. “Are you on
your way to class?”

Taehyung shifts from foot to foot, restless. He swallows. “No. The music rooms.”

“Okay. Let’s go there, then. C’mon.” Jeongguk doesn’t even wait for him, just walks on ahead,
stride not pausing when he looks over his shoulder back at Taehyung. “Any day now.”
Taehyung stands there awkwardly for another moment before he walks along to catch up, maybe
even does a small run.

No. More like a light jog.

No.

A fast walk.

Seems ridiculous to not walk together if they’re heading to the same place, anyway.

“Why are you coming?” Taehyung demands.

“To spend time with you, genius. We just went through this.”

What the fuck is wrong with this guy. Who openly expresses their feelings like this?

Psychopaths. That’s who.

“I’m going there to work. Nothing else.”

“That’s fine,” Jeongguk assures and grabs Taehyung’s hand.

Taehyung yanks it away.

Jeongguk curls his arm around Taehyung’s waist. “I’ll nap.”

Taehyung shoves Jeongguk’s arm off. “You should go home to sleep.”

“Will you come with me, then?”

“What? No!”

Jeongguk shrugs. “Then the practice rooms are where I shall be.”

Taehyung frowns when he gets a heart palpitation, checking his watch to see that his heart rate
spiked.

Odd.

Despite arguing it, Jeongguk doesn’t relent and comes with Taehyung to the music rooms. Practice
room 5 is empty again, which is always a welcome. He feels a little anxious all of a sudden once
the door shuts behind them because it’s the smallest space he and Jeongguk have shared.

“Never been in these before,” Jeongguk says through a yawn as he dumps his bag on the floor and
sinks down into one of the beanbags with a groan. “Oh, I’m absolutely not getting out of this.”

“What are you studying?”

“Accounting and finance,” Jeongguk sighs. ”I know, I know. Ironic.”

“Why is it ironic?”

“Because I’m gay.”

Taehyung stares.
Jeongguk stares back.

“…because gays aren’t allowed to be accountants—”

“Because gays can’t do math, Taehyung.”

Taehyung frowns. “That’s hardly a scientific statement.”

“Are you good at math?”

Taehyung’s mouth opens.

…and proceeds to close.

“Case and point.”

“Hang on, what makes you assume I’m gay?”

Jeongguk leans forward, his elbows bracing on his knees. He rubs his hands together as well as his
lips as he stares up at Taehyung, gaze slightly narrowed. It should absolutely not be attractive
considering the dude is knee-deep in a lethal beanbag chair.

He swallows.

“There. That’s how I know.” Jeongguk sighs on a grin, slouching back.

Wait, what.

“Come again?”

Jeongguk folds his arms behind his head, amusement evident on his face. “You got flustered.”

“I did not,” Taehyung argues. “You’re just full of yourself.”

“But are you gay?”

“Well. Yes, but—”

Jeongguk says no more, just sways his knees, and grins up at him, smug.

Tonguing the inside of his cheek, Taehyung refuses to acknowledge this conversation any further
and turns his back on Jeongguk to head to the piano instead.

This is definitely foreign to him. He doesn’t usually practice in front of others. His brothers are an
exception, of course. But when he usually plays, it’s final pieces that are fully revised and perfected
as much as his mental state will allow them to be. The idea of someone hearing him possibly mess
up makes his fingers tingle in the way they do at the start of a panic attack.

Taehyung wouldn’t call himself a perfectionist, but he tries damn hard to seem that way. His strive
to produce nothing but perfection is toxic. From the way the tender bulbs of his fingers run raw
and leave blooded fingerprints over the keys to the dark hues he paints himself in, not eating and
sleeping until he’s unwell and fingers drumming in his sleep.

The idea of someone seeing him unrefined and possibly imperfect has him itching to grab his shit
and leave. But he shouldn’t have to leave, this is his time to practice. Jeongguk is the one invading
his space.
As he turns to tell him this, he takes pause when he sees Jeongguk tilted back into sleep, mouth
open and neck angled awkwardly.

“Jeongguk.”

He’s met with silence.

Taehyung gently kicks the sole of Jeongguk’s shoe. It shifts but falls back into position.

Absolute dead weight.

Stepping closer, Taehyung can hear the faint sound of snoring, gentle and exhausted. It makes him
frown. He could see Jeongguk was tired, but he can’t help but wonder what he’s been doing to
neglect himself bad enough to fall asleep in a matter of minutes, half sat up.

Lips pressed in a line, Taehyung exhales deeply and debates his next move.

He could still leave, could take another practice room. But the idea of leaving a vulnerable, passed
out Jeongguk doesn’t sit right with him. Taehyung’s not sure why Jeongguk felt comfortable
enough to fall asleep in his presence, but maybe he doesn’t care about that.

Either way, Taehyung won’t leave him like this. He could wake him up, but the dark shadows
under Jeongguk’s eyes are enough to deter that.

Sitting at the piano, Taehyung lifts the cover and stares down at the keys. He glances back at
Jeongguk over his shoulder and experimentally taps a few keys, just to see.

Jeongguk once again doesn’t react.

The man clearly sleeps like the absolute dead.

Taehyung shakes his head and adjusts himself more comfortably before he pulls out his sheet
music and a pencil. It’s then he notices the slight tremor to his fingers and flexes his hand around
the pencil until it stops.

Jeongguk’s asleep yet he still feels anxious.

Pushing through it, Taehyung takes a breath and forces himself to begin playing. He will not fall
victim to this right now.

It doesn’t take long for him to fall into his focus, submerging himself into the familiar melody he’s
been grinding out as of late. Truth is, he plays best under stress, so he uses it as momentum to
polish the last measure he finished. Still, every now and then, he checks that Jeongguk is still
asleep and is relieved to see him unmoved.

Eventually, he stops checking, playing until he can feel burnout approaching when nothing fits
correctly. Instead, he puts his earphones in and puts his music on shuffle to build melodies off the
songs playing. It’s something he likes to do for fun, but also to keep him inspired.

The last piece he wrote was inspired by Bronski Beat and Wu-Tang.

Weird combo, but it worked. Who would have thought Smalltown Boy and Gravel Pit would work
so well together.

Taehyung’s not sure how much time passes until he feels the ache in his back from sitting in one
position for so long start to creep in. He straightens his spine and checks on Jeongguk.
He’s shifted in his sleep, mouth closed and head tucked in closer to his chest. More relaxed.

Taehyung stares at him for a long moment, at the softness of his features before he begins to pack
up. Once his backpack is on, he steps over to Jeongguk. He doesn’t want to disturb him, but
they’ve been there for a few hours now, enough for him not to feel as bad about disturbing his
sleep.

“Hey,” Taehyung says, voice a little hoarse. He clears his throat and reaches down, shaking
Jeongguk’s shoulder. “Jeongguk.”

Jeongguk sniffs and readjusts before his eyes slowly open. He peers up at Taehyung and smiles,
soft and tired. “Hey.”

Taehyung’s watch registers another blip in his pulse.

“Go home,” Taehyung tells him. “Sleep in an actual bed.”

Jeongguk hums, pushing himself to sit up.

Taehyung enjoys the view of him struggling to get up before Jeongguk holds a hand out for him.

He eyes it warily.

“I just need a hand getting up.”

Taehyung’s eyes narrow but he obliges, taking a hold of Jeongguk’s hand and dragging him up to
his feet. As soon as Jeongguk is up, he tugs his hand away quickly, much to Jeongguk’s tight grip.

“I’ll drive you home,” Jeongguk tells him once they’re back outside.

“I’m fine with walking.”

“Okay, that’s great for you, but I want to be near you a little longer, so.”

Taehyung should consider going on some beta-blockers for this irregular heartbeat. Maybe a
change in diet. More exercise.

“Fine,” Taehyung agrees.

“Need to pick up from your brothers, anyway,” Jeongguk adds as they walk through the parking
lot.

“You’re aware they don’t like you, I assume?”

“Well aware.” Jeongguk shoots him a grin and unlocks his car. “Hop in.”

Taehyung pauses to take in Jeongguk’s car. His big, fuck off Hummer. “You sure you’re not the
dealer with this car?”

“What,” Jeongguk grins. “You don’t like it?”

“Are you compensating?”

Jeongguk’s grin turns smug and Taehyung regrets opening his mouth.

“Shut up. Just shut up,” Taehyung cuts in when Jeongguk opens his mouth. “Don’t talk, stop it.”
He climbs into the car quickly, setting his bag down in the footwell.

“Connect your phone,” Jeongguk says once he’s started the engine. “Play some music.”

Taehyung raises an eyebrow but doesn’t question it. He puts his seasonal playlist on shuffle and is
immediately surprised by the surround sound. He can feel the vibrations of it against his arm and
the soles of his shoes, Kid Travis’ soft voice crooning.

“I like this,” Jeongguk says. “Is it too loud?”

Taehyung shakes his head, a little overwhelmed in the best way. He’s not heard music playback to
him like this in a long time. It’s not harsh enough to mute the lyrics with the vibrations, and not
booming like a concert.

It’s perfect.

“No, it’s good,” Taehyung says softly, swallowing. He gently presses his hand against one of the
speakers beside his knee, able to feel the base against his palm.

He smiles.

Taehyung glances over at Jeongguk and sees him smiling, too. “What?”

Jeongguk shakes his head. “Just like the song. You should make me a playlist.”

“A playlist? You’ve heard one song I like.”

“And I trust your taste. I wanna know what kind of music you listen to. I’ll make you one, too.
How’s that sound?”

Taehyung considers it. He does always get curious about the type of music people listen to and the
thought of what Jeongguk must listen to has crossed his mind a few times now. “It’s not mumble
rap, is it? I draw the line there.”

“Have some faith in me, Taehyung,” Jeongguk scoffs. “You know who I do love, though.
6ix9ine.”

“Pull over. I’m getting out.”

“How about Lil Pump.”

“You don’t even need to pull over, just slow down enough for me to roll out.”

“Trippie Red.”

“You know, speed up. I’ll take the risk.”

Jeongguk’s laughing the rest of the way back to his, Taehyung’s music the soundtrack to it. It’s
pretty nice.

“Did you let them know you’re coming?” Taehyung asks as they climb the stairs of the complex,
Jeongguk a few steps behind him.

“Nope.”

“Are you determined to annoy my brothers?”

“Maybe.”

Taehyung frowns, stopping on the landing and turning to face Jeongguk. He stares down at him
and Jeongguk smiles back up at him. “Don’t be stupid here, Jeongguk. You’re asking for trouble if
your aim is to piss them off.”

“It’s not my aim, it’s just my charming personality. And the fact that I like their little brother,”
Jeongguk returns. “That’s hardly my fault.”

They stare at each other for a long moment, the sound of Hyungsik’s music loud through the
corridor.

“It’s your funeral,” is how Taehyung breaks the silence.

Jeongguk just smiles before Taehyung turns and continues down the hallway.

Unlocking the door, Taehyung steps in.

“Hey, baby prince,” Seojoon greets and Taehyung cringes, ears hot. Seojoon is sat on the couch,
counting through thick wads of cash, a stack already banned. His wide smile drops when his eyes
shift over Taehyung’s shoulder and he’s on his feet. “What the fuck are you doing here? Why are
you with Taehyung?”

“Hyung,” Taehyung cuts in, frowning. “Just lay off. I just saw him waiting outside. Right?” He
looks at Jeongguk, warning in his eyes.

Jeongguk grins. “Sure. Just came to buy.”

Taehyung relaxes a little and closes the door behind them.

“Listen, no hard feelings, right?” Jeongguk continues. “You can keep overcharging me, I’m cool
with it.”

Seojoon continues to glare at Jeongguk, huffing a laugh through his nose. He seems to debate it,
but his brothers are money driven, and any chance they can get to overcharge is a plus in their
books.

Taehyung lingers in the kitchen just so he can keep an eye on things, grabbing himself a soda. As
soon as Seojoon leaves the room to go get the product, Jeongguk turns on his heel and smiles at
him.

“That went well.”

“Idiot,” Taehyung whispers back and cracks open his drink.

The transaction happens quickly, Seojoon’s hard gaze never faltering. But he does seem to relax a
little when Jeongguk just waffles on and pays Taehyung no mind.

“Say hi to your brother for me,” Jeongguk says as he shows himself out.

But clearly he can’t help himself.

He very visibly turns and winks at Taehyung before he shuts the door behind himself and Seojoon
goes rigid once again.

“Hyung!” Taehyung calls just as Seojoon goes to yank the door open. “I’m hungry.” He makes his
 way over and grabs his brother’s shirt. “Please cook for me.”

Seojoon is still frowning.

“I haven’t eaten all day,” he lies.

That does the trick.

“All day? ” Seojoon immediately marches into the kitchen to begin cooking and Taehyung sags,
exhaling deeply. He pulls his phone out.

to: death wish

IDIOT

from: death wish

your idiot baby

Taehyung needs to get a new watch.

Chapter End Notes

Apologies for the delay. Who would have thought uni would be time-consuming?
Scandalous.

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