I Still Find You There

I Still Find You There (Next To Me)
Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/22534213.
Rating: Mature
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings
Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Relationship: Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung | V
Character: Jeon Jungkook, Kim Taehyung | V, Park Jimin (BTS), Jung Hoseok | J-
Hope, Min Yoongi | Suga, Kim Seokjin | Jin, Kim Namjoon | RM, Park
Hyungsik, Park Bogum, Kim Yugyeom, Original Characters
Additional Tags: Abuside Side Relationship, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Character
Death, Dark Past, Therapy, Therapist Kim Taehyung, Patient Jeon
Jungkook, Night Terrors, Self-Esteem Issues, mention of prison,
Mentions of Suicide, Mentions of Violence, Mentions of homophobia,
mentions of bullying, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst
and Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, No Fr Really Slow Burn, Focus on
Character Development, Falling In Love, dense taekook, Idiots in Love,
Long, Jungkook Is The Best Guy Ever, Other Additional Tags to Be
Added, Engaged Kim Taehyung [For A Bit], Top Jeon Jungkook,
Bottom Kim Taehyung | V, Non-Graphic Smut, Mental Health Issues,
healthy relationship, Healthy Communication, Rehabilitation, Alcohol
Withdrawal, Switch Jeon Jungkook, Switch Kim Taehyung | V, Switch
Taekook, Top Kim Taehyung | V, Bottom Jeon Jungkook
Language: English
Stats: Published: 2020-02-13 Completed: 2020-08-29 Words: 501,595
Chapters: 97/97
I Still Find You There (Next To Me)

by vantaegukk
Summary
Tired of seeing him down every day, Jungkook's friends get him to see a therapist.
Something that he definitely wasn't expecting to see there was Taehyung, the kid that he
used to bully in high school, in a white coat and a smile, more than willing to forget the past
and help.
Notes
THIS BOOK IS BEING EDITED as there were quite a lot of typos that went unnoticed and
some parts that should've been worded a lot better, but the plot/scenes will remain pretty
much the same. So far it's been edited up until: chapter 75.
◄│ 1 │►
Chapter Notes
Before you read, please make sure to read the tags as this story may have some
triggering topics! More tags will be added throughout the story to avoid spoilers but it
will be an angst with a happy ending. Enjoy it <3
See the end of the chapter for more notes
The sound of his alarm hasn’t even registered in his mind completely when he feels something
warm against his cheek. Jungkook has no time to react before he feels it again, and again. It has
him pulling away, a whine filling up the room. He fiddles with his phone to turn off the alarm,
turning to the other side of the bed, feeling even more comfortable under the warm sheets.
Though his eyes open at yet another kiss to his nose. He smiles, eyes half-lidded, extending his
arm to caress the soft hair. “Good morning, baby girl.” Jungkook says, voice still raspy from sleep.
His head hurts. It hurts so bad, he wonders how he’s not used to it already. The dizziness, the
feeling of still not being quite in the right place. But he shakes his head slowly, trying to focus on
something else, trying to ignore the pain until it becomes nothing but background noise.
There’s a small bark followed by a little whine and he closes his eyes for just a second before
sitting up. He feels dizzier at that. “Are you hungry, buddy?” he asks as he twists his body to both
his sides, his bones popping just right. “You must be hungry, right?” the large animal looks up at
him with sparkly eyes, fluffy tail wagging from side to side at the mention of the already common
word. Hungry. It was usually followed by food.
“Let’s eat. Food?” she barks, this time louder. Jungkook’s head feels like it could explode but he
has places to be and a dog to take care of, so he pushes the covers down, getting up from the bed.
His vision goes black for a second before going back to normal. He blinks furiously, the dog
already sitting in front of him. Waiting. Jungkook smiles then, resuming his way out of his room.
He’s immediately met with the sound of the television in the living room, he assumes he forgot to
turn it off the night before and, in the kitchen, Moon waits patiently in front of her food bowl.
Jungkook opens the cabinet, grabbing the bag of dog food. It feels light so he looks inside, sighing.
“You eat a lot, girl.” there’s a sad smile on his lips but Moon is more focused on the bag
approaching. “There you go, enjoy your breakfast.” he fills up the bowl so that she can eat not only
her breakfast but throughout the morning, sighing again at the now empty bag. Moon looks
momentarily at him for the displeased sound but he puts a smile back on, her tail wagging as she
resumes eating.
“Let’s see what is there for me…” Jungkook strides over to the kitchen again, opening the fridge.
There’s nothing but alcohol and some fruits and he hums, taking a half-empty bottle and an apple.
“Can’t be hungover if I’m still drunk…” he says as he looks back at Moon, taking a bite out of the
apple. It’s juicy, cold from being in the fridge, just how he likes it.
He munches on it for a little bit, swallowing it down with a bit of whiskey.

He doesn’t even cringe anymore.
│►
The gas station looks as boring as always when Jungkook opens the door, his coworkers smiling at
the sight, knowing their night shift has finally come to an end. He greets them with a bland ‘good
morning’, heading to the break room to put on his uniform.
If you can call that a uniform. He just changes into a red polo shirt with the logo and a tag with his
name written on it, and he keeps his own jeans and shoes. It’s not an actual uniform. Just a poor
attempt at one.
“Hey, dude.” he hears when he comes back, the night shifters passing by him to go change and
leave. “You look tired.” his coworker comments, a little concerned look in his eyes.
“I’m not, just uh, I didn’t sleep very well. But I’m fine, really.” Jungkook pushes a smile through,
watching as Yugyeom smiles back. “Mornings are always boring, I already feel bored.”
“That’s true, usually all the annoying customers come in the morning.” Jungkook rubs at his eyes.
People come in tired, still half asleep or in a bad mood and they’re the ones that have to deal with
it. Politely. Or they get fired.
Though they’re already very much underpaid, Jungkook can’t afford to get fired. Not even just for
himself but for Moon, who doesn’t have to be the one on the receiving end of her poor owner. She
deserves nothing but greatness. Jungkook wishes he could give her just that.
“Why are you looking at the wall like that?” Yugyeom asks with a quick chuckle, resting his
weight against the counter. “What are you thinking about, Kook?”
“Nothing, really.” he lies. There’s so much in his head, it’s more of a matter of asking what is he
not thinking about. “When uh, when do you think we’ll get paid?” Jungkook asks, trying not to
sound as desperate as he is.
“The ending of the month is on Sunday but we’re off weekends so… probably Monday, he never
pays us before.” Jungkook sighs, suppressing his sigh. “Why? Are you ok? Do you need money?”
“No, no, everything’s ok, I was just thinking with my buttons, that’s all, just curious.” he smiles,
worry behind his eyes that goes unnoticed. Just about five days before he gets his paycheck. He’ll
make it work. He always does.
Still, he’s most likely going to spend whatever he has left in his account on dog food as he’d never
put himself before his dog. He’d rather have her with a full stomach than he himself.
The door makes a ding sound as it opens with a newcomer and a grown man dressed in a black suit
fixed to perfection comes in, face filled with everything but happiness. “The machine outside ate
my card.” he says without even a small greeting. “I have to get to work, I don’t have time for this.”
“Did you press the button that says—” Jungkook tries but doesn’t even get to finish his sentence.
“Can you go fix it?” the man interrupts and Jungkook sighs quietly, walking around the counter to
follow the man, Yugyeom giggling behind them. Jungkook follows the man and presses the button
he tried to refer to previously as soon as he gets there, the card coming out in a short second. He
hands it to the man that scoffs, opening his car door.
“You’re welcome.” Jungkook says, standing there so that the man can start the car and leave, but
their eyes meet again and he watches as the window slowly goes down.
“Are you waiting for a tip for pressing a button?” he furrows his brows, ready to deny, but a bill is
thrown out the window before the car starts and Jungkook presses his teeth together. Rich people
are already bad as they are. Now, rich and arrogant is just too much.
Jungkook is not very proud to say he does bend down to grab the bill, sighing to himself when he
realizes there’s nothing he can really do with it; it’s ripped from the tire going over it and there’s
gasoline wetting half of it. He trashes the bill.
“What’s with that face?” Yugyeom asks with a chuckle. “Was he rude?”
“It’s ok.” it’s not ok. “Wasn’t the nicest person, I guess. You take the next one, I hate mornings.”
“You hate everything, Kook.” and he doesn’t even try to argue with that. “You’re so moody but so
calm at the same time, it’s weird.” Jungkook joins him when he laughs but doesn’t really feel the
humor of it, doesn’t find it funny.
“Yeah. Hilarious.”
│►
Jungkook shoves his hands in his pockets as he leaves, ready to find a place to grab something for
lunch, maybe some bread or just stop at McDonald’s and get the cheapest thing he can find in
there from the kid’s menu. There are things for just one, two bucks, which he appreciates a lot.
He’s made meals out of chicken nuggets and small fries.
His phone ringing brings him back out of his thoughts, his best friend’s name on the screen. He
smiles as he accepts it. “Hey.” Jungkook says, bending over just the slightest as there’s a sting in
his stomach. He’s hungry.
“Hey! I’m on my way to the gas station, we’re getting lunch at that ramen place that you really
like.” Seokjin says, speaking a little too loud since he’s talking to the car’s call system.
“Oh— I can’t, I’m kind of broke right now. Kind of like always.” he sighs. “I’m sorry, maybe after
I get my paycheck, if that’s ok with you. I really can’t spend money right now.”
“No, Kooks, I want to treat you. I invited, didn’t say you’d have to pay for anything.” Jungkook
frowns at that. “I can see you, stop walking.” he turns back, seeing Seokjin’s car approaching so he
stops, ending the call and rushing inside the car not to cause any traffic.
“Hey.” he greets. “You don’t have to take me for lunch, I can just find something.” Seokjin looks
at him for just a second before turning back to the road.
“I know you struggle a lot more at the end of the month, I just want to help you.” he explains,
deciding that being honest is always the best option. “You’re my best friend so I’m here for you,
even if you don’t like asking.”
“I don’t want you to feel obligated to help, though. I’ve always survived so I can continue to do
that, you don’t have to worry.” Seokjin sighs, taking a hand to Jungkook’s knee and patting it once,
twice.
“But I don’t feel like that, I’m just making sure that you’re ok… so we’re going to have lunch and
that’s the end of the discussion. Also, Yoongi and I are having dinner at your place tonight so… do
you want to cook or should I grab some takeout on the way there?”
“I was planning on eating one of my ramen cups, I have no groceries at home.” Jungkook says,
looking out the window. “Just get takeout, that’s alright by me.”
“When do you get your paycheck?” Seokjin asks. He knows he’s intruding a little but he can’t help
it when he knows Jungkook’s situation.
“Probably Monday. Stop worrying, it’s ok.” he assures. “It’ll be fine, I don’t eat much anyways.”
Seokjin sighs at that. “Please, stop worrying, I’ve always managed myself…”
“I know. I know.” his friend tries not to sigh again. “I understand that you’ve been surviving by
yourself, but I still want to help as much as I can. So does Yoongi, so there’s no use trying to fight
it, alright?” he smiles. “We’re going for lunch, I’ll treat you, and that’s final.”
“Gosh, okay.” Jungkook gives in.
It’s not like he has many choices. He can either take it, or remain hungry.
“I’ll pay you one day.” he promises. “I’ll pay you, and Yoongi, to the last dime.”
“No, you won’t, because we won’t take it.” Seokjin shrugs. “Your well-being matters more than
money. Just… Just look after yourself, Kooks, that’s the best thing that you could ever offer us,
alright?” Jungkook gives him a look; he feels like crying. He has the best friends ever.
“Thank you, Jin…”
“It’s nothing, Kooks.”
│►
“…so I asked her the basics and she was going against all the things she had told me previously.
That’s how I knew she was lying… I feel bad for dropping her case but when a client lies to me, I
stop being nice. If she had been honest, I’d still help despite what she did, but she lied. Lying is not
nice and gets you anywhere. Now I wish her good luck trying to find another lawyer.” Seokjin
rants, hands flying everywhere.
“Yeah, her case was already tough, not everyone will pick that one up and help her, she fucked
herself over by lying.” Jungkook agrees. “But you did good, that was smart of you.”
“Thanks.” Seokjin smiles. “What about you? How was work?”
“Eh.” Jungkook shrugs. “Always the same, I guess. I’m good with both afternoon and night shifts
but the morning ones are just the worst thing ever.” he sighs. The look on the man’s face as he
threw him the bill just some hours ago is still very much present in his mind. He hates it. The
feeling of being inferior. Also hates how he feels like that all the time.
“Ok… but how did it go?” Seokjin asks again. “Anything funny with a customer or with a
coworker… anything?” Jungkook is silent for a little before he shrugs.
“Nothing funny really happens, my life is the joke itself.” he almost whispers. “Nothing happened,
a man just made me feel as broke as I am by throwing money at me, that’s all.”
“Oh, Kooks.” Seokjin holds the boy’s hand on top of the table, thumb caressing his fingers.
“You’ll be fine. One day, at least. I promise.” he tries to reassure but Jungkook just looks away,
pulling his hand back.
“I am fine. I have Moon, as long as she’s happy and well-fed, I’m great. She’s a great cuddler, I
can’t feel upset with her around. She just brings my mood up.” Jungkook smiles just at the mention
of his little best friend.
“Moon is a dog.” his smile is gone. “You should focus more on yourself instead…”
“You know how much I care for her. It’s not just a dog, I talk to her a lot even though she doesn’t
understand me.” he points. “She gets it when I’m sad and doesn’t leave my side so she’s basically
always with me.” only after he speaks does he understand what his own words imply. “Uh, I mean
—”
“I wish I could take away all your frustration, you’re such a nice person.” they’re both silent for a
little before Jungkook clears his throat. He’s had enough of that conversation.
“So, about your cases. Do you have any other story from today?” Seokjin perks up at that, taking
his chopsticks to his mouth excitedly.
“I did get a new one today. So…”
│►
Jungkook gets up from the couch when he hears faint whines, a clear indication that Moon is
asking for food, and grabs the bag he bought just some hours ago before getting home. It’s already
halfway gone, being a smaller bag than what he would usually buy.
“If you eat all of this today, I’ll have to get another bag tomorrow. That’s not ok, baby.” he scolds,
well aware that she can’t understand. “I should’ve just gotten a Chihuahua instead, they eat like
cats and filling up your bowl just once takes half of this stupid bag.”
He giggles at himself, bending down to pat her torso as she eats, fingers combing through her fur
soon after. “Enjoy your dinner. I’ll be eating soon as w—” the doorbell rings through his small
apartment, his friends’ presence being announced then. Moon is already barking loudly, her strong
throat making the sound spread over the thin walls.
Jungkook can hear his friends greeting her with childish voices before he even gets to the door. He
swings it open, the large dog sniffing his friends and wagging her tail happily both at the smell of
food and company.
“Hey, little girl.” Seokjin says, patting her head with the hand that isn’t holding the takeout bags.
“That dog is everything but little.” Yoongi’s voice comes strained from using all his strength to
climb up the stairs since there’s no elevator, a big bag of dog food in his arms. Jungkook pouts, a
scolding ready to roll off his tongue. “Before you say we didn’t have to buy this, it was half the
price and we love Moon so we couldn’t let such sale go to waste, right?” Jungkook doesn’t say
anything. He knows it wasn’t on sale.
He just grabs the bag instead of saying anything, helping him.
“Besides, we want you to be well fed so here’s a whole bag for you.” Seokjin jokes.
“Oh, fuck off.” they share a laugh, Moon whining after Seokjin’s food bag. “Moon, stop. Come
here.” Jungkook calls, whistling a little. “Go eat your own food.” he points to her bowl but she just
sits down instead, positively ignoring his order.
“Your dog is an idiot.” Seokjin says.

“Don’t you dare insult her.” Jungkook slaps his arm. “I’m hungry, did you get Thai?” he opens the
bag, three boxes sitting there. “Hm, you did.” he whines at the smell, ramen being the only thing
he has eaten for the past week. “This smells so good.” he cries, grabbing his chopsticks. “I’m
emotional with food, I may actually cry, is this rock bottom?” Jungkook tries but only he himself
laughs weakly, his friends only sharing a look.
“About that… we want to talk to you, if that’s ok.” Seokjin says as they sit around the kitchen
table, each holding their takeout box. “We have a suggestion for you.”
“A suggestion? Is this about Moon again? I’m not giving her away, you can forget that. It’s not
happening. No.” Jungkook gets defensive right away. “She’s my baby, doesn’t matter that she’s a
dog or whatever, she’s my rock and I’m not even considering it.”
“We know, we wouldn’t let you get rid of her at this point, we love her too…” Yoongi starts. “It’s
about your mood and the way you always speak about yourself… the way you feel or that we
assume you do. We don’t think it’s good. At all.” Jungkook furrows his brows.
“Ok…?” he tilts his head. He never tried to hide how down he feels most of the time so it’s no
surprise that they’re bringing it up. He had seen it coming a long time ago, he’s more surprised
with how long it took to actually talk about it. “What’s the suggestion, I don’t quite understand.”
“We were talking the other day and we thought that it would be good for you to try to… you know,
start going to therapy.” Seokjin is the one saying it and they all go quiet. Jungkook is just looking
at them with an unreadable expression and they begin feeling all types of sweaty. Is he angry?
Offended?
“It’s just because we believe it would be really good for you to open up, you never tell us anything
because you believe that you have to say that you’re ok all the time so that we don’t worry… so
having someone who you don’t care for and that is only there to listen to you, would be good.
You’d be able to talk… let everything out of your chest… and we think is a lot, we think you have
a lot bottled up inside of you.” Yoongi is quick to speak to try to back up their idea, too afraid of
getting a straight no.
“But— I have Moon to talk to.” he sighs when he sees the expressions he’s faced with. “Guys,
don’t you think I have considered that? I can’t afford therapy, I can barely afford food, I can’t just
pay to have someone listening to me. I know it’d be good but I can’t afford it.”
“Don’t worry about the costs, this is something from us to you.” Jungkook shakes his head.
“Please, let us give you this, we want you happy.” silence settles once again and he pouts, picking
up and putting down the little pieces of meat inside his takeout box.
“But it’s too expensive… I can’t let you guys pay for it, what if it doesn’t even help me feel better?
I’ll be wasting your money for nothing. I have a really hard time talking about myself, you two are
my best friends and have been for what? Four, five years? And don’t know basically anything
about me, how can we know that I will be able to just— talk about shit with a random stranger?”
“Then you can go to one session just to see how it feels like. No one forces to schedule a second
one.” Jungkook looks down at his food with a hesitant expression. “Please? For us?”
“I…” he looks up at them, both pushing their bottom lips out. “Ok, ok. I’ll go. Once.”
“Oh God, thank you, we were so nervous that you’d get angry at us.” Seokjin sighs in relief. “I
never sweated this much.”
“Me neither.” Yoongi agrees with a laugh. “We just think it would be really good for you. If it
works, of course. Opening up and getting all that heavy weight off of your shoulders.” he smiles.
“Yeah. Let’s see how it goes.”
│►
Jungkook rolls in bed, huffing for the umpteenth time. His eyes are wide open and his lips pushed
out in a pout. Sleep. He just wants to sleep. He has drunk a little already, but sleep isn’t quite
coming yet. There’s some scratching on his door and soon it opens, Moon jumping on the bed in a
second, her heavy weight cuddling into him.
“Hey, girl.” Jungkook sighs. “At least one of us can sleep.” he whispers, her figure already curled
up and ready to drift into a deep sleep. He opens his first drawer, taking out the bottle of whiskey
that he didn’t get to finish the previous night before passing out. He takes it to his lips.
It doesn’t taste that good, but the burning feel no longer affects him. He sighs, a hand playing with
Moon’s yellowy white fur as the other just takes the bottle to his mouth. “Moon, are you
sleeping?” he asks, seeing her eyes open to look at him questioningly. “Daddy will start going to
therapy.” Jungkook says, caressing her head, as if she ever understood him.
“Do you think it will help?” silence. She’s still looking at him, just because he’s speaking, but
doesn’t do anything else other than blinking. “I don’t think so either. Even if I speak… will the
doctor’s answers help in any type of way? I doubt it…”
Moon raises her head, sniffing his hand. “No, this isn’t for you. Good girls don’t get close to
alcohol.” he chuckles. “You have no clue what I’m saying. I’m talking to a dog… maybe I am, in
fact, losing it.” silence.
He takes a big sip of the whiskey, shaking his head. Maybe it will help. “I’ve been feeling down
for years, maybe talking to someone will help, right?” he smiles but Moon finally closes her eyes,
deciding to positively ignore him. “Sleep well. I’ll soon be sleeping too…” Jungkook says,
drinking a little more. “Maybe it will help.”
│►
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Chapter End Notes
Heyy! This shall be my first chaptered story in here so I hope this doesn't turn out to be
a major flop G.G
Leave kuddos! Share yours thoughts ((:
◄│ 2 │►
Chapter Notes
Someone commented that I didn't warn about the toxicity of the relationship
(Taehyung/Hyungsik) even though it's in the tags so //PLEASE// be sure to read all of
them, I don't want anyone getting triggered. Thank you <3
Taehyung jumps out of bed as soon as the alarm rings, rushing to turn it off. His eyes are still half-
closed, hands trying to rub the tiredness away. He has a schedule to respect so he ignores how
exhausted he feels from waking up so early and exits his room, nothing but silence filling up the
apartment. It feels so empty he swears he can hear the echoing of his bare steps on the marbled
floor. They’re cold.
The air in the kitchen feels colder than usual, the weather reaching its lowest, and Taehyung
regrets not putting a robe on or something of the sorts. Instead of going back in the room, he settles
for just starting breakfast, knowing what he has to prepare every Monday morning.
Monday meant chocolate chip pancakes and some natural orange juice. Nothing else.
He opens the fridge, taking out some eggs and oranges that he always keeps fresh, putting them on
the counter. Fortunately, there’s a small television to keep him company when he cooks and he
turns it on, on the lowest volume possible.
There’s a channel displaying a puppy show, how to train dogs, to be more specific, and he stops
there, smiling at the cute animal on the screen. Having a dog seems like a blessing.
The oranges are soon cut in half, Taehyung giggling at the puppies as he squeezes them to fill two
glasses, setting them on the large kitchen isle. He’s not the best at making pancakes, always adding
too much or too little chocolate chips. They’re never the right quantity, never. Either that or he
adds too much sugar.
Despite that, he still tries his best all the time, they look tasty, he has to give himself that. Four
well-sized pancakes distributed equally in two plates that he cuts small pieces of strawberries and
bananas onto. They look… presentable at least.
He looks at the clock, smiling. Just in time. Taehyung makes sure to put everything either on the
dishwasher or back in the fridge, turning off the television and cleaning the counter. “Good
morning, Taehyung.” his ears perk up at the familiar voice and he smiles.
“Good morning, honey.” he looks up. “Did you sleep well?” Taehyung asks, taking his place
beside his partner. “You look more relaxed than you did some hours ago.”
“If only you didn’t squeeze my lungs out while I tried to sleep.” Hyungsik answers, grabbing his
utensils to cut a piece of the pancakes. “Too sweet.” it’s his only comment right after tasting it,
munching on it almost forcefully. Taehyung’s shoulders fall dejectedly.
“I’m sorry… I added less than last Monday. I can never get the right quantity… I do try, though.”
he sighs, taking a piece of pancake to his own mouth. And he agrees. It doesn’t taste good. Never
does, anyway.
Taehyung plays with the engagement ring on his promise finger, a frown evident on his features.
His fiancé rolls his eyes before clearing his throat. “Where are you going for lunch?” he asks. “And
who’s going with you?” Taehyung opens his mouth to speak but the other beats him to it. “You
didn’t tell me yesterday.”
“Right, I’m sorry. I will be having lunch across the street from work with Jimin and Hobi.” he
smiles, taking a strawberry to his mouth. “Will you be having—”
“Why are you going with Hoseok? You know I don’t like him.” Hyungsik says then, voice louder,
stronger. “Cancel.”
“Sik… I can’t cancel it. He’s my best friend, c’mon.” Taehyung looks down at his plate. “That
would be very rude of me, I can’t do that to them.”
“No, Taehyung. Jimin is your best friend, Hoseok is just a fucking jealous leech, nothing else.” he
points out. “I don’t like him so I want you to fucking cancel it. Either go with only Jimin or have
lunch alone. I don’t want you around Hoseok, I thought I had left myself pretty fucking clear.”
“I can’t cancel on Hoseok like that, honey…” Taehyung gets up to discard his food, not feeling like
eating anymore, when a hand grabs onto his wrist. Tight. Too tight. “Y-You’re hurting me.” he
says, though he doesn’t pull away. He knows better. “Sik, please.”
“You’re going to call them and say you won’t be able to make it. Understood?” Hyungsik’s voice
drops below its natural tone, showing how unhappy he feels about the situation.
Taehyung gulps. “Yes. I’m sorry, I’ll give them a call on my way to work.” he says, looking down.
His fiancé pulls him by his now sore wrist, cupping his cheek with one hand. He smiles, leading
the blonde to smile as well, even if a little confused. Wasn’t Hyungsik mad just seconds ago?
“You know I’m only doing what’s best for you, right?” his voice now much softer. “Hoseok is not
a good influence, especially to our relationship… you don’t want us to break up after all that we’ve
been through, do you?”
“No… you’re right, I’m sorry.” Taehyung smiles more, Hyungsik smirking before pressing a kiss
to his cheek. “We should go get dressed.”
“That’s right, Taehyung. You know I love you.” his wicked smile looks nothing but sweet in
Taehyung’s eyes and it has him almost melting. “Clean this up before you leave. You know I don’t
like it when the house looks like a mess.” the harsh tone is back and soon he gets up to disappear
back into the hall.
Taehyung looks at the plates, nodding. He has to clean up, he can’t let them stay there, he must do
what his fiancé asked.
│►
“…I just feel like I could be more productive on my own, you know? I love my girlfriend but she
weighs me down at times because her opinions are often the cause of the bad outcomes, but if I say
no, she will be upset… and I never know what to do. On one hand, I want us to be ok and so I try to
take what she says in consideration, but on the other hand, it’s also really important that my
business is thriving.” Taehyung listens attentively, hand moving at its own accord to take some
notes under the patient’s name.
“Have you talked to her about the situation? Bottling up issues like so may cause bigger problems
in the future.” he says then, the man in front of him sighing and rubbing his eyes.
“But what if she breaks up with me just because I don’t want her to continue having a say on what I
do with my company?” Taehyung opens his mouth to answer but the alarm clock on the table goes
off, indicating the end of the forty-five minutes.
“Oh, time went by quite fast today.” Taehyung smiles. “Would you like me to stay here for a little
longer? You weren’t finished yet.” he says as he stops the alarm, the room going quiet again.
“No, no, it’s lunch time. I don’t want to steal your break.” the man says, getting up. “I’ll schedule
another meeting, though.” Taehyung gets up.
“Feel free to do so.” he says with a smile, holding his hand out for the patient to take and shake it.
“Wish you a good evening.”
“Likewise, thank you so much.” they bow to each other, the man leaving soon after. Taehyung
sighs when the door closes, thinking about how lonely his lunch is about to be. Jimin sounded sad
when Taehyung canceled and, even though he paid attention to his patients, the way Jimin reacted
was persistent in the back of his head. He hates that he canceled on them.
He takes off his white coat, hanging it next to the door and replacing it with his own coat. It’s way
warmer and cozier and he feels more comfortable with it. “Hey, Taehyungie. Going for lunch?”
Namjoon asks as he leaves his office. The blonde shrugs with a weak smile.
“I am, yeah.” his coworker smiles too, nodding.
“Figured, your friend Jimin is waiting by the front desk.” Taehyung blinks. “He’s with someone
else but I’m not sure of who that is.”
“Oh no.” he whispers. “Ok, Joon. Thank you so much.” Taehyung smiles, though he doesn’t really
mean it. They weren’t supposed to be there.
“Tae!” Jimin smiles, opening his arms. Taehyung can’t keep his smile away at the sight of his best
friend, as frightened as he might be. “I didn’t understand why you canceled so suddenly so we
decided that we should still come… figured maybe you were just going through something.”
“Oh.” Taehyung says. “Yeah, I wasn’t feeling well in the morning, that’s all.” he side hugs Hoseok
as well, a kiss being pressed to his forehead. “Shall we go? I’m hungry.”
“Yes, let’s go. I have some things to share.”
│►
Jimin hums as he takes a piece of meat to his mouth, the food tasting as delicious as he remembers
from every time they went to that restaurant. “So. You know that student that I made take her test
again because I thought she cheated?” Jimin starts, waving his chopsticks.
“Yes, the one that had full marks, what happened? How did she do?” Taehyung giggles. He
remembers Jimin being very angry about it, he complained about said student for at least half an
hour.
“She had eleven points out of a hundred.” Hoseok chokes on his drink, laughing. “And she had the
nerve to tell me I revised it wrong, that it was impossible for her to only have eleven points.”
“Math is hard, we have to give her that.” Taehyung points out. “What did you say after she said
that?”
“I told her that she should’ve studied if she was trying to prove that she didn’t cheat.” Jimin shrugs.
“I love my students but when they lie to me… it makes me angry, and I can’t get angry in school so
I have to be nice even though I just want to— ugh.”
“You’re too cute to get angry anyways, babe.” Hoseok chuckles, poking Jimin’s cheek. “So, Tae,
anything interesting today?”
“You know I’m not allowed to talk about work.” he pouts. “Though nothing really happened, just
people that go there to have someone to talk to, not with actual problems that need my help to find
solutions.”
“I don’t know how you have the patience to just listen to so many stories every day. How do you
even remember everything? How do you not mix patients up?” Hoseok asks, tilting his head to the
side with curiosity.
“I love helping people. If just talking to me helps them, then I want to be there to listen. And I take
notes of each patient, I read over their notes when they come back to make sure I’m not mixing
anything up. It’s way easier than it seems…” he shrugs.
“Taehyungie… what’s that on your wrist?” Jimin asks with a soft tone of voice, pointing at the
very faint red mark around his wrist. Taehyung pulls his sleeve down, clearing his throat.
“It’s nothing, I just hurt myself this morning… you know I bruise very easily.” and that is true.
“Nothing to worry about.” he tries to shrug it off but Jimin squints his eyes, suspicious.
“Around your writ? You hurt yourself… around your wrist?” Hoseok chuckles. “What did that
idiot do this time?” he asks, more serious now. Taehyung looks down.
“Don’t talk about Sik like that… he didn’t do anything, alright?” Taehyung sighs. He knows his
best friends hate his fiancé with a passion.
“Is that why you canceled on us?” Hoseok frowns even more. He looks angry. “He’s such—”
“No, I canceled because I was feeling sick. Can we not talk about this, please?” he looks at them
with puppy eyes and a pout that gets them both to sigh in exasperation.
“Let’s grab some coffee after work then… we’ll come and pick you up.” Taehyung looks down.
“What’s wrong? Can’t you go today?”
“I have to be home by six… you know that…” Jimin rubs his eyes, putting his chopsticks down
before attempting to speak. Though Taehyung is faster, beating him to it. “It’s something that
Hyungsik always asked and it’s already an unspoken rule.”
“He acts like he owns you.” Taehyung shakes his head. “Yes. Yes, he does. He totally does, you’re
twenty-five, why in the world would you have an hour that you have to be home at?! He shouldn’t
tell you what to do, goddamn it.”
“He says it’s dangerous for me to be out late… He just cares for me, guys.” Taehyung pouts. “He
wants me to be happy and well.”
“Taehyung—” Hoseok starts but stops himself to go over his own words. “You know he’s a
terrible partner, right? There’s nothing you can possibly say to justify most of his actions. If not
all.”
“No, he’s not.” Taehyung insists. “He loves me, you two are together, you know relationships
have some rules.”
“Yeah. Like, not cheating and not keeping things from each other, not treating him like he’s my
dog.” Hoseok says then, voice a little louder. Taehyung’s shoulders fall. “Ok, sorry… I don’t want
to be mean to you but— think about it and think well.”
“I am thinking. He’s my fiancé… c’mon, make an effort to at least accept that I’m with him. I’d
love it if you two liked him but since that’s so freaking impossible, at least accept the relationship
rather than liking it. That’s the only thing I ask for.”
“Tae… he’s not the right person for you.” Jimin sighs. “You deserve so much better.”
│►
Taehyung hums to himself as he stirs the food, the aroma filling the kitchen and it smells great.
He’s cooking one of his fiancé’s favorite dishes and he’s proud of how it’s turning out so far. He
blows on the spoon to cool it down, tasting the sauce. “Hm…” Taehyung smiles. He loves it, just
the perfect quantity of everything.
The television is yet again turned on to entertain him as he looks for two plates with enough depth
for the sauce and he places them on the kitchen island along with two cups. Hyungsik doesn’t like
eating in the dining room, though Taehyung thinks it would be easier and more practical, but he
doesn’t argue.
Two sets of chopsticks are placed perfectly on top of the napkins and he lowers the heat just to
keep the food hot until his fiancé arrives. He taps his fingers on the counter, bored. The only good
thing being the show on the television, it’s a cooking show but it’s somewhat entertaining enough
to help pass the time.
He’s startled when he hears the front door closing rather harshly, the keys being thrown to the
small decorating table on the front hall. Taehyung frowns. His fiancé’s angry. The blonde jogs to
the front door, watching as Hyungsik takes off his shoes. “Tough day…?” he asks. “Let me get
that for you…” Taehyung carefully places his hands on his shoulders as if to test the waters,
helping him take the suit’s jacket off.
Some days at the office are stressful and Taehyung is already used to not having the best mood at
home. “Could say that.” Hyungsik answers with the coldest voice, walking away. Taehyung hangs
the jacket for the meantime so he can get to the kitchen, deciding he will store it in the bedroom
later on.
“Cooked your favorite. Took me hours.” he smiles, his fiancé already sitting on his usual spot.
“How was your day?” Taehyung serves a generous quantity of food to his fiancé’s plate.
“Like any office job, Taehyung. Stressful.” his voice is cold and words short. The blonde frowns
even more, though it goes more than unnoticed.
“Ok…” Taehyung waits for a few seconds but the question doesn’t come back to him. He has to
suppress a sigh. He was never asked, he doesn’t think Hyungsik has ever asked about his day, and
it shouldn’t bother him all that much, it’s a stupid thing to ask, either way.
Hyungsik is a busy man, Taehyung should understand it.

“This—” Hyungsik takes a piece of food to his mouth, his whole face shifting into distaste. “This
is terrible, Taehyung.” the blonde blinks, jaw falling in surprise. He tasted it before and it tasted
good.
“B-But…” Taehyung looks down at the food, eyes confused. “I worked on this for about three
hours…” it’s a whisper, an embarrassed one at that. Hyungsik wipes his mouth, getting up as he
puts his napkin down with a harsh knock on the table.
“Lost my appetite.” the blonde watches as he disappears into the hallway, steps heavy. It takes him
a few seconds to react, but when he does, it’s simply to take a tiny piece of meat to his mouth.
Hyungsik is right.
Terrible, as always.
Trash.
│►
Taehyung changes to the next page of his book, sighing. He wants to sleep but knowing his fiancé
isn’t home makes him anxious. It’s been four hours since Hyungsik left in casual clothing, telling
Taehyung not to wait for him. But of course he’s waiting. Psychology book in hands, under the
warm sheets.
His stomach feels a little empty, had he only eaten a sandwich after getting rid of the food he
cooked. He should just give up on trying that again. It’s never good, Hyungsik never enjoys his
meals. He feels bad, what kind of husband will he be if he can’t even get a meal ready for his
partner at the end of the day? He couldn’t possibly ask Hyungsik to cook.
As the latter said, it’s his job. That’s his thing. He must be the one cooking and Taehyung has long
accepted it, he’d accept anything Hyungsik said, anyway. It all seemed right.
His ears perk up as he hears the front door closing and he’s quick to put his book away and lay
down while turning off the small lamp on the side of the bed. Hyungsik told him not to wait up.
The door to their room opens and closes and some steps get closer to him before there’s a weight
on the other side of the mattress. Taehyung pouts. Not even a small kiss, maybe to his forehead or
cheek. Nothing.
He decides to sit up, turning his lamp on. “You’re back.” Taehyung fakes a tired voice, as if he had
just woken up. “It’s late.”
“I know. You didn’t have to wait up for me, baby.” Taehyung’s eyes fall on his fiancé’s neck, a
purple mark very much present.
“Is that a hickey?” he asks with a smile, trying to hide his concern. Hyungsik takes a hand to his
neck, laughing humorlessly.
“Yes, don’t you remember giving me this two days ago?” no. Taehyung doesn’t remember. “I even
said you should be more careful and you said you’d try next time.” Hyungsik’s forged smile is
enough to get Taehyung’s to turn real.
“Oh. Right.” the memory in his head completely false. “Sorry, then.” Hyungsik chuckles, laying
Taehyung down again.
“You should sleep.” he says. “I’ll be right back.” Taehyung pouts, making grabby hands.
“But—”
“I said I’ll be right back, didn’t I?” Taehyung’s arms fall immediately and he nods, quiet. “Good.
You know I love you, Taehyung.”
“I love you too, honey…”
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 3 │►
Chapter Notes
Hey, I’m adding this note when I’m already on the chapter 55 because all of a sudden,
three users started heavily hating on Taehyung’s character (really, they commented on
every chapter but anyway, I want to tell you new readers that this story has to be read
with an open and accepting mindset, there's always two sides of a story to be
understood and if that's not something you tend to do as a reader, you won't enjoy
this... so, please, go into this with sympathy for both sides!
Jungkook rolls around in bed as whines start waking him up from his sleep. He ignores it for a few
seconds before it clicks in his mind and it’s Moon crying so he sits up in a split moment. “What’s
wrong?” he asks, eyes still closed. Another whine and Jungkook steps out of bed, following the
sound.
The scratching sounds of Moon’s nails hitting the floor as she, as it seems like, runs around.
Jungkook turns the lights on, blinking a few times before his eyes fall on the dog who keeps
whining, a plastic bag stuck on her head. “Oh.”
Moon shakes her head as Jungkook laughs, his body bending over with laughter. “How did this
happen?” he steps closer as she continues to back away, paws scrapping on the floor. “You’re so
dumb.” he smiles, having to jog to catch her and take the plastic bag from her head. “What were
you sniffing, hm?”
Moon looks up at him with her tail wagging, jumping on her back paws to be more on his level.
“Good morning to you too.” Jungkook chuckles, ruffling her head before walking back to the
bedroom, the dog following with happy steps. “I’m a little mad that you woke me up before my
alarm. You’re lucky that you’re like my child and I love you.”
Moon jumps on the bed then, waiting for Jungkook to lay down so that she can rest her head on his
stomach. And he just stares at the animal, one hand untangling her fur while the other is just
resting on the mattress.
“Daddy’s nervous.” he says after some time. Moon opens her eyes with curiosity, blinking. “Today
will be my first session… I’m a little nervous because I don’t know what to expect.”
It’s stupid, he knows, talking to a dog who doesn’t understand anything other than his emotions,
but he doesn’t trust anyone else to open up to. Only God and those four walls know how much that
dog has heard from him, especially when drunk. Perhaps someone else will be there for him from
then on, willing to listen to his concerns even though he doesn’t even know if he wants opinions.
He just wants to talk. That would probably feel good since he has never had that. He has his best
friends, yes, who are always more than happy to help him whenever, but he doesn’t want to worry
them. It doesn’t feel right to open up to them, either.
Opening up is hard. Really hard.

Maybe they were right about the fact that a stranger would be easier to talk to. He knows he
doesn’t care for whoever receives him in that clinic and he also knows that the therapist will be
there for the single reason that is doing his job.
That relaxes him a little.
“I can’t drink. I don’t want to show up with my breath smelling like alcohol on the first day. My
hands are hitching, Moon, you can’t imagine.” he closes his eyes, inhaling sharply to keep his tears
inside. “This addiction is the thing that I hate the most about myself, it makes me sad that you only
see me completely sober in the mornings.”
Jungkook chuckles to himself, Moon doesn’t care. She probably doesn’t even notice the difference,
alcohol only makes him more quiet and tired, a little more emotional too. Which is exactly what he
needs at night, minus the emotional part of it.
“Do you think the doctor will be nice? I hope so, right?” he pokes Moon’s nose, the dog lifting her
head. “Hopefully… he won’t fall asleep while I speak like you do. That’d just come to show how
boring I actually am.” he laughs quietly to himself.
“Jin will be here soon to drive me there… though I could just get the bus. Or walk.” Jungkook
continues with a long sigh. Moon whines quietly, dragging herself to lay on top of him. “No, no,
no.” Jungkook cries. “You know I can’t take you away, leave on your own, please.” no movement.
“Moon, get off.” she makes her mission to ignore him.
His alarm rings, indicating that he has to get up and get ready if he wants to be on time for his
session and he looks down at the dog with a frown. He could never wake her up if she was
sleeping. “Hm… food?” Moon lifts her head. “You want food? Yeah? Let’s eat, girl? Hm?”
And with that, the dog gets up in a rush, running out of his room.
Jungkook chuckles.
Oh how he loves that dog.
│►
Taehyung hums to himself, grabbing his small handbag where he can store everything he seems to
always need throughout the day. The car is turned off soon enough, the blonde hopping out and
closing the door with the small press of a button. The clinic’s doors open when he gets close
enough, a smile on his soft features.
“Good morning, Taehyung.” the woman behind the front desk greets, bowing politely, lips
stretching in a smile just as big.
“Good morning.” he walks closer. She hands him the fliers of the scheduled patients, Taehyung
looking at the papers briefly before putting them under his arm. “Thank you, I’ll head to my office
now. Have a nice day.” she bows again, waving him slightly. Taehyung makes sure to grab a
coffee before entering his office.
It’s filled with mainly white decoration, a desk with a computer for him to work on and an area
with two couches facing each other. A small table between them with the timing alarm. There’s a
bookshelf, also white, but the multiple books bring some touch of color to the room. Just like the
vases that he placed all around, the vivid green giving another life to the office.
It looks professional, yes, but somewhat cozy.

He places his handbag on his desk, alongside the coffee and the files with the patient he would be
receiving. Taehyung continues humming a random melody to himself as he changes his jacket for
the long white coat.
The blonde walks around the desk, sitting down. There are four sheets there, the morning patients,
and he checks the names so that he can get their binders – one for each, where he keeps all the
notes – to be reminded of everything about them. However, there’s a sheet that says it’s the first
consultation.
He puts the other three down, taking a look at the paper. And then his eyes go wide.
He would recognize that face anywhere. That name. Jeon Jungkook. Those dark eyes. He looks
older. Way older. It’s been almost ten years since high school anyway, and he doesn’t remember
the last time he laid his eyes on Jeon Jungkook.
His jaw is well defined and his nose looks somewhat smaller, or just grown into his features. But
it’s him, of that Taehyung is certain. It couldn’t be anyone else.
It does make him curious. Jeon Jungkook is seeking help? For therapy?
The scheduling says he’s the second patient of the day and Taehyung knows he’ll be left
wondering, thinking about it, even if in the back of his mind. He just hopes the man’s personality
has grown and changed as much as his physics did. Otherwise, it will be impossible to work with
him.
Taehyung never denied any patient but there’s always a first time for everything, after all.
│►
“You don’t have to come inside.” Jungkook says as Seokjin starts pulling over instead of just
stopping for a moment long enough to let Jungkook get out of the car.
“I’ll wait for you in the hall, there are a lot of chairs, I’m guessing it’s a waiting room.” he
explains. “I’ll be there when you finish, not only to hear all about it but also to take you home.”
“Oh… Jin, you don’t have to, I’m twenty-seven, I can manage myself.” Jungkook chuckles. “I’ll
be ok, you can go, I know you also have work, seriously, it’s fine.”
“I work on my own, I can deal with it when I get home. Let’s go.” he pats Jungkook’s knee,
opening his door. Jungkook sighs. He hates to be an inconvenience, he knows that it’s annoying
that he’s making Seokjin have to wait. “Are you nervous?”
“A bit, yeah.” Jungkook admits, closing the door. “What if I totally don’t click with the doctor?
What if I… I don’t know, what if he says that I’m not troubled enough to be stealing someone’s
hour of therapy?”
“There’s no such thing as being troubled enough. Everyone is affected by things differently and
I’m sure the doctor knows that. Also, If you don’t click, we can also schedule with another one for
you to try out.”
“Ok…” Jungkook pouts to himself, walking alongside his best friend. They get inside, the warmth
way more welcoming than the terrible weather outside. It’s not raining but he wouldn’t be
surprised if it happened.
“Good morning.” the woman behind the front desk greets and they both bow to her, as polite as
they can possibly be. “How can I help?”
“I came here about a week ago to schedule an appointment for my friend.” Seokjin gestures
towards the other man. “I talked to another lady, it was not you.” she nods, looking back at the
computer.
“Do you remember which doctor was it scheduled with?”
Seokjin pinches the bridge of his nose, trying to remember. It’s not very clear in his mind. “I
believe… I believe it was Dr. Kim, if I’m not mistaken.” he says, a bit unsure.
“Please give me your ID.” Jungkook rushes to take it from his wallet, handing it over to the woman
that uses it to check his appointment. There was more than one Dr. Kim. “Right, thank you.” she
gives it back, signing something that he can’t see.
Seokjin pats his lower back, sensing how tense he is. But how could he not? Just the idea of
opening up has his heart racing like crazy. But he’s not in a position where he can just back off and
say he doesn’t want to do it anymore.
“Walk through this hallway and it’s the second door to your right. Please hand Dr. Kim this as you
get there.” the woman hands him the paper with her signature and he figures it may be a
confirmation that he’s the right person.
“Thank you.” they bow again, taking a step back. “I’m nervous, I don’t want to go. I’m starting to
stress. Oh my God, why did I ever agree to this?” Jungkook says, already looking at the door as he
calculates if he’d have enough time to just run away.
“Hey. Hey, relax, ok? You got this, you’ll do great. You’re the one who decides if you want to
speak and how much you want to speak. Don’t stress about this, it’s all in your hands. You got
this.” Seokjin places both his hands on his shoulders, making sure Jungkook is paying attention.
“This is so stupid. Why am I nervous? I’m twenty-seven and I can’t—” he closes his eyes, inhaling
to gather himself. “I got this, I can do this.”
“Exactly, you can do this. Now get your ass right over to that office before I have to take you and
act like I’m your dad.” Jungkook frowns, slapping his hand away. “I’ll be right here when you
come out, alright? You got this.”
“Ok. Ok. Ok. Thanks. Ok.” Seokjin points towards the hallway. “Right, ok.” his friend rolls his
eyes, pushing him slightly. “Right. I’m going. Ok.”
“Stop saying ok and go, you’ll be late.”
“Ok.” he still says one last time before walking away to the hallway.
Jungkook closes his eyes, inhaling slowly before exhaling and knocking on the door twice. He
figures he can just push it open and so that’s what he does. It smells like a strong but sweet cologne
and so he scratches the possibility of it being a woman.
“Uh, good morning.” he says, voice shy. His eyes fall on the desk, where the man sits. Features so
soft and delicate, dangling earrings complimenting it just right. Jungkook can’t seem to look away
from that blonde hair and piercing eyes.
“Good morning.” the doctor gets up, fixing his white coat. “Jeon Jungkook, right?” he asks,
seemingly unaware of who he is. His smile is warm nonetheless and Jungkook feels his shoulders
relax a little bit.
“Yes. Yes, that’s me.” he scratches the back of his neck, awkwardly standing there. “The lady at
the desk— this is for you.” Taehyung eyes the paper, taking it right away.
“Thank you.” Jungkook nods. “Come, Jungkook.” he gestures towards the couches and the young
man follows, sitting down across from him. Jungkook watches as the doctor sets the alarm on the
table for forty-five minutes, relaxing on the couch to observe him. “So tell me, what brings you
here?” Jungkook gulps.
He didn’t know what kind of questions he would be faced with; he was aware, though, that there
would have to be some kind of an introduction at first. Taehyung stares at him, notepad on his lap,
watching as the older man plays with his rings on his left hand. He can tell two things right away:
one, Jungkook is nervous. Two, he has no idea of who Taehyung is.
“Well… my friends thought it would be good for me to uh, try this out, and I know it’s true so here
I am.” he chuckles humorlessly, not meeting Taehyung’s eyes. “In other words, they worry because
I’m always down and I have a shit ton of problems and I can’t— I can’t open up, so they advised
me to try to do that with someone who I don’t have any kind of relationship with… said it may be
easier for me to speak.”
“That’s good. It’s completely true that it’s easier to talk to strangers and I hope that we can get you
to open up to me.” Jungkook pouts a little, nodding, eyes still on his fingers. “I can see that you’re
tense so I’ll reassure you that I won’t force any kind of answer out of you. This is a safe place for
you to share as much as you want. I can either help you or just listen to you.”
“Do people actually come here just to be heard?” Jungkook asks, finally meeting his eyes, and
Taehyung shrugs with a little smile.
“You’d be surprised. The majority of my patients just wants someone to talk to and don’t even
actually want my opinion.” Jungkook looks away in thought. “Also, something I must tell you right
away so that you’re aware and comfortable is that everything you say in here, stays here. No
information leaves these four walls, given we take patient confidentiality really seriously.”
“Ok, that’s good.” he nods to himself. “I’m… a little awkward.” Jungkook tries to make a joke but
Taehyung knows better, his laugh is empty. He’s just nervous.
“No need to be nervous or feeling awkward, I’m not here to judge.” Taehyung explains. “Now tell
me a little bit about yourself. Age, work, whatever you want to tell me.” Jungkook nods, thinking
of what to say.
“I’m twenty-seven, very antisocial and that’s probably why I’m so nervous right now. I have two
best friends who I’m actually really fucking thankful— shit, can I curse?”
“Yeah.” Taehyung giggles. He giggles. Jungkook finds it surprisingly endearing for some reason.
“Ok so, where was I— my friends, yes, I’m really thankful for them. Hm… I have a dog, she’s my
baby, it’s a Golden Retriever, she has a lot of energy and she usually listens to me. I mean, she
doesn’t understand anything but— I talk to her all the time.” his smile grows as he speaks.
Taehyung slightly frowns at that. He’s always wanted a dog. “You seem to like her a lot.” his hand
moves on its own to take notes while still looking at the older male.
“I do. I really do. I really love her so much.” Jungkook says, blinding smile on his face. “Her name
is Moon.”
“That’s such a cute name. Why did you choose that one?” he asks, wanting to check every piece of
information. Jungkook’s smile falls slowly, turning into a sad expression. Taehyung raises an
eyebrow. “You can pass a question of mine anytime you want.”
“I’d… I’d rather not talk about that.” Jungkook whispers. “It’s uh, connected to a lot of things that
I don’t feel comfortable talking about… at least not right away.” Taehyung nods, noting down the
dog’s name and circling it, adding two question marks.
“Any hobbies?” he asks.
“Well… I do work out a lot. On my own though… I can’t really go to the gym.” he mumbles the
last part. “And I play a lot with Moon, I hang out with my friends and oh God, these aren’t
hobbies… I don’t know, I’m quite boring, I’m getting more and more boring as time passes… I’ll
probably be a terrible grandfather.” he chuckles to himself and that does get a short giggle from the
doctor.
Taehyung is quick to note something else: makes jokes when sad, nervous or hesitant.
“I don’t know what else to say, I guess that’s it about me.” he shrugs, still playing with his rings.
“Oh, I work at a gas station, it’s a pretty boring job. Some rich people annoy me in the mornings
but apart from that, is really just boring.”
“You work where? At a gas station? Why?” Jungkook raises his eyes from his hands,
questioningly. The doctor sounded so surprised that he’s surprised himself.
“Because… it was the only place that accepted me when I was looking for a job…?” he replies
with a question of his own, words dragged out and confused.
“You were the smartest kid in high school, why didn’t you continue with your studies?” Jungkook
tilts his head.
“What? How do you know?” Jungkook’s eyes narrow, trying to identify the doctor as one of his
classmates but he wouldn’t forget a face like that. “Have we met before? Please do enlighten me
because I’m not quite connecting the dots here.”
“You really don’t remember me.” Taehyung giggles. Again. “I can’t judge you, I changed quite a
lot. Kim Taehyung? You were on your last year when got in the middle of my first one. You’d
probably remember me as the kid you picked on or just… spent your remaining time there kind of
bullying me.”
“Oh my God.” Jungkook’s eyes grow bigger. “Oh my God.” he lays his head on his arms, hidden
against his knees. The guilt.
“Jungkook? Are you ok?” Taehyung asks, putting his notepad aside to lean a little closer. “It’s—”
“I’m so sorry, Taehyung.” Jungkook finally says, lifting his head. “I’m so, so sorry.” he continues,
eyes growing red. “I was stupid in high school. I didn’t know how to deal with… things, it’s no
excuse to how I treated you, though. I’m so fucking sorry.”
“It’s alright.” Taehyung waves a hand in the air. “I wondered how you would be, you know. I
didn’t imagine you in a… well, in a gas station. I’m saying this as respectfully as possibly but—
you were so good in school.”
“That makes me feel even worse about myself.” he looks away. “I can’t— I can’t believe. You’re
that guy. You look so different, I didn’t recognize you at all… you can’t imagine how sorry I am.
Seriously, from the bottom of my heart. I’m so, so incredibly sorry. I know sorry doesn’t cut it or
dismisses half of the shit I did to you but…” Jungkook brings it back anyways, the guilt not
allowing him to just drop it.
“Hey, we’re not here to talk about me.” Taehyung smiles. “I hope this doesn’t make you feel
uncomfortable, you were looking for a stranger to talk to and I’m not exactly that.” he starts. “I can
pass you on to another colleague if you—”
“No.” Jungkook is quick to say, sinking down a little more on the couch. “I was thinking you
would be the one not wanting me to come back. I was so mean to you…” he sighs. “I think a lot
about that time and it always makes me feel so bad.”
“I’ve always been interested in psychology, I’ve always studied humans’ mechanisms, I guess I
wasn’t that affected by your ministrations because I knew there was something going on with you.”
Jungkook blinks. What?
“I’ve made you cry a lot.” he points out. “That makes me feel like the worst person alive.”
“I mean— yes, it did hurt in the moment, not enough for me to cry at home thinking about the
things you said or did. I was more curious as to why was Jeon Jungkook hurting.” Jungkook tilts
his head.
“How did you know I was hurting?”
“I’m very observant.” Taehyung smiles. “I tend to notice things. Like how you touch that second
ring every time you don’t know what to say, makes me believe that it may have some special
meaning to you, no?”
Jungkook looks down at his hand, seeing how his opposite fingers are around the small metal and
he frowns, taking his fingers away. “Stop, that makes me feel nervous.”
“You don’t like being observed? I remember you liked attention.” Taehyung jokes and Jungkook
smiles at that, shoulders shaking with a snort. “Probably didn’t get attention from other places.”
“I didn’t.” he whispers. “How do you even— associate. First of all, you shouldn’t even have
accepted to take me, you should hate my guts.”
“I’d never send a patient away, especially not someone who I already knew needed help years
ago.” Jungkook slumps down on the couch. “So I really hope you schedule another meeting, if not
with me then with someone else, I can recommend you another doctor in here.”
“Needed help.” Jungkook repeats. “That’s a really blunt way to put it.” his pout makes Taehyung
chuckle.
“It’s ok to need help, you know.” Jungkook knows that too well. “It’s a completely natural thing…
it’s actually really admirable that you’re able to face it and be here right now. You shouldn’t be
nervous about it.”
“How do you know I’m—” he follows Taehyung’s eyes to his lap, his fingers yet again toying with
the same ring. “Oh God, stop.”
“I’m just doing my job here.” Jungkook smiles, shaking his head slightly. “I want to help you,
Jungkook. I really do, so I hope you allow me to do that.”
“Can we just— slowly?” he whispers. “This is scary. Opening up is insanely scary.” Taehyung’s
smile is warm and he gives him a short nod.
“You share as much as you want to, Jungkook. I won’t force any kind of answer or information out
of you. You set the pace, alright?” the older man smiles, nodding. That relaxes him.
│►
“I’m really happy that you’ve scheduled another one.” Seokjin says as they get in the car and he
smiles, putting on his seatbelt. “A part of me believed you wouldn’t want to come back.”
“Jin… I know the doctor.” Jungkook sighs, fumbling with his rings yet again. He chuckles. He
does play with them when he’s nervous. He has never noticed that before, funny thing is, they
don’t really mean anything.
“You know him?” Seokjin tilts his head. “Has he gone to the gas station before?”
“No… back in high school, I didn’t know how to deal with everything that was going on. There
was this new kid, an easy target. I bullied him… so hard. I hate myself for doing that, that wasn’t
me. I seriously don’t know how… and why.” he explains, keeping some of the information to
himself. He doesn’t want to say everything.
“Was the guy… your doctor?” Jungkook nods. “And he agreed to see you again? I would’ve
kicked your ass out right away.” he can’t really say anything, because he would too.
“I don’t think I’d want to see my bully either. I didn’t even recognize him. He used to have a
retainer and his haircut was weird, he didn’t look like… that. I swear to God, I had no idea it was
him before he said it, he looks so fucking pretty, what the fuck.”
“Hey, this is for you to get help, not for you to get a boyfriend.” Jungkook chuckles.
“I don’t want one either. I’m just saying, he looks really different, looks great, honestly. And it
makes me happy to see that he’s doing well in life.” Jungkook shrugs. “Makes me feel like shit, but
happy for him, you know?”
“But did he make you feel comfortable?”
“Yeah… he did. He has a comforting vibe, even though he’s younger than me. I just hope I’ll be
able to actually… share things.” he sighs. “Just thinking about it makes my stomach feel all tight, I
hope it doesn’t take too long because I don’t want you to keep paying for this.”
“Hey, take as long as you need. It’s ok, I just want you to get better, be happier.” Jungkook nods
ever so slowly, still hesitant.
“I’ll pay you back one day, I hope.”
“There’s no need, focus on yourself instead.”
│►
Taehyung connects his phone to his car, listening to the beeping sound as he calls his best friend.
“Hey, Taehyungie.” Jimin’s voice fills the automobile and it immediately brings a smile to his
face. “What’s up?”
“I got held back at work, I should’ve been home about two hours ago. Sik is there already by
now… with no dinner… I feel so bad.”
“Yes, poor thing, having to cook on his own like everyone else. Must be tough.” Hoseok says and
Taehyung frowns. “Give me my phone— get off— sorry, it was on speaker, it’s only me now.”
“Anyways… do you remember Jeon Jungkook?” he changes the subject.
“How could I forget that devil? Made you cry so many times in high school. But why?” Taehyung
bites his bottom lip. He knows he’s not allowed to share anything, but just that one detail would be
ok.
“He’s my new patient.” a loud gasp.
“Please tell me that you didn’t accept it. Taehyung, please tell me you told him to leave that same
second, you have enough going on with Hyungsik, will this be ok? He’s your bully.”
“He was my bully… I’m sure he had his reasons, Jiminie. I want to help him.” he sighs.
“But—” Jimin groans. “I want the best for you, and this may not be that good for you. What if he
didn’t change? I don’t know if we should… just trust him.”
“You know I love helping people, I shouldn’t even be telling you this and this is how you react.”
Jimin attempts to speak but Taehyung is faster. “I’ll call you later, I have to get home.”
“Tae—” but the call is cut short, Taehyung’s lips pushed into a pout. He just wants to help. He
didn’t want to be told not to do his job.
He gulps as he stops his car right next to his fiancé’s, growing nervous about their interaction. He’s
way too late and he knows that it will be impossible to have dinner prepared in time. He feels bad.
He knows he has certain roles in the house and one of them is cooking. He has to cook everything,
he has accepted it and it’s just how it is. Hyungsik doesn’t like to cook.
Taehyung doesn’t really enjoy cooking either, but when his fiancé likes it, it’s always extremely
rewarding. Though this time his heart beats fast against his ribcage as he puts the keys into the
door, twisting it ever so slowly. He wishes the elevator ride had taken longer to get him to his
floor.
He can smell the food in the apartment and he sighs in relief. Hyungsik cooked something for
them. “Hey hon—” he tries, though his fiancé sends him a glare that promptly shuts him up.
“Don’t you know you have to be at home after six?” Hyungsik says. “I had to cook for myself.
How fucking disgraceful.” he scoffs. “I already ate without you, as you can imagine.”
“It’s ok, I’ll cook something for mysel—”
“No. I need you for something else. I had a stressful day… you don’t want me stressed, do you,
darling?” his peaceful expression gets Taehyung to smile and take a step towards him.
“I’m hungry though… can it wait a second?” Hyungsik’s face falls in a deep frown and Taehyung
gulps, regretting his words immediately. “I didn’t mean that.” he grabs his fiancé’s hand, allowing
the other to guide him to their bedroom.
“I’m really angry that you broke not one but two rules. Being on time and making dinner. You
know I’ll let it out on you.” when he starts unbuttoning his shirt, Taehyung understands what does
he need him for. So he kneels, hands on his thighs and mouth open. That’s the only thing he’s ever
really needed for and he doesn’t enjoy it one bit, if he’s being honest.
Every time it happens, Taehyung is a mere doll for his fiancé. He assumes that’s how it works,
Hyungsik wouldn’t mistreat him after all.
A hand hits his face rather harshly and he has to bite down his bottom lip. A kink, that’s what
Hyungsik explained it to be. That’s what it is. And if it’s a kink, Taehyung can’t say it hurts. Also
Hyungsik’s words. “You’ll be on time from now on, right? And cook your terrible food, right?”
“Yes. Yes, I will I’m sorry for failing.” he’s slapped again and a tear rolls down his cheek. He
hates it. It hurts. But he can’t say anything. Apparently, you can’t deny your partner of their kinks
and fantasies.
“You know I love you, right?” and Taehyung smiles, because Hyungsik’s eyes sparkle with lies
that he completely misses. Because he’s just naïve. Because he’s in love and doesn’t see how bad
the situation actually is.
“I love you too.” he says.
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 4 │►
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Jungkook sits down on the floor, legs crossed as he watches Moon dig in her breakfast. He pouts
without even noticing, raising a hand to comb her fur. She looks away from the food for less than a
second, going back to it right away. He takes the bottle of whiskey — something that he also calls
breakfast — to his lips, swallowing three big gulps, one right after the other.
“I didn’t tell you about yesterday.” he says then. The silence in the apartment filled with only the
dog food moving around the bowl. “Got way too drunk, I’m sorry. Maybe I did tell you and don’t
even remember… I’ll tell you again, if that’s the case.”
He chuckles to himself, embarrassed. “My doctor isn’t a stranger as I thought they would be… I
used to make his life a living hell. I was so mean to him in high school. I pushed him, cooperated
with disgusting shit my friends did and… bullied him verbally. I was the worst, seriously.” the
bottle is yet again on his lips, taste all too familiar.
Jungkook sighs. “Sometimes I have dreams about that time… I feel really bad that I treated
someone so horribly just because my life wasn’t the best. I apologized, it felt good. Being able to
apologize and see that he’s doing well in life. Anyway, I trust him. I guess. It’s way too soon to say
with clarity, but he has a calming aura around him...”
Moon finishes her food, licking the remaining crumbs out of her whiskers and lips. “I think that if
the next sessions go as well as this one, I’ll be able to let things out. I hope so, at least… it’s really
fucking hard and it hurts to keep things inside all the time.” he sighs.
The bottle is almost at its end just from yesterday and having it as his breakfast, which makes him
feel bad. Terrible, even. The animal senses his mood going down and gets closer, sniffing his
hands and the bottle before sniffing his face. Jungkook leans away with a giggle.
“Anyway, mom would be so fucking proud that I’m doing something for myself, at last.” he
smiles. Moon tilts her head, sitting down before barking. “Shh, if we get another noise complaint
we’ll be kicked out.” he places a finger on the tip of her nose. “I wouldn’t be able to take care of
you if we got thrown into the streets. I don’t want us to live there again.”
The dog licks his hand at that, not bothered by his words. “I have to go to work now, you’ll be a
good girl and not rip the toilet paper again, right?” no answers, obviously. “I’ll go get dressed
now.”
And so Jungkook hops up from the floor, feet uncertain and almost losing balance. Moon is fast on
her paws to follow after him to the bedroom. “I think I’m drinking too much this morning… I
should probably stop.” but the bottle is yet again in his mouth.
“What should I wear today? Black ripped jeans or black very ripped jeans?” he holds both of them
up, one on each hand, Moon sniffing the first ones. “Good choice.” Jungkook falls on the bed as he
tries to step out of his sweatpants, rubbing his eyes furiously. “I can’t get drunk. Fuck. I can’t go to
work like this.” he slaps himself, wincing in pain. “Stupid.”
Moon whines, laying on the ground in front of him.
“Are you crying in disappointment?” Jungkook asks rhetorically, a long sigh leaving his lungs.
“I’m sorry, I wish I could stop, you know.” his voice drops lower, ashamed even, pulling his jeans
on each foot before attempting to get up again. “I’ll be home soon, baby. Don’t eat any object
while I’m gone or we’ll have a serious talk and you don’t want that, you lady.”
He trips as he walks out of the room, holding himself up by placing a hand on the wall. The room
spins slightly and he knows he’s getting seriously drunk. He shouldn’t have downed so much
alcohol so early right after waking up. On an empty stomach, on top of everything.
“Shit.” he curses. “I’m fucked.”
│►
Taehyung hums happily to himself, hand working fast on the scrambled eggs, the low barking
sounds coming from the television keeping a large smile on his face. How he wishes he could get
one, but Hyungsik doesn’t like dogs, so he can’t adopt any.
He jumps in place, startled by the toasts popping out of the machine and rushes to put two in each
plate. The bread burns his fingertips and he fiddles with them for a few seconds, giggling at
himself for it. With a fork, he takes a little bit of the eggs to his mouth so that he can taste them,
humming at it. They’re on point and ready to be taken out of the pan.
He places half of them on each plate.
It will be about three minutes, to be very precise, until Hyungsik comes into the kitchen, so he
rushes to get their coffee done and on the table as well, just the amount of sugar he knows his
fiancé enjoys adding. Not too sweet, not too bitter.
As if on call, footsteps get nearer and nearer and, soon enough, his fiancé is standing by the
kitchen’s entrance with his silky pajamas and bed hair. “Good morning, Taehyung.” he takes a seat
on the stool, already reaching for his coffee mug. Taehyung pouts slightly, expecting a morning
kiss but it’s been long since he’s gotten one. He feels weird for even waiting for it.
He guesses they’ve been together for long enough, they don’t have to do it anymore. “Good
morning, honey. I made the eggs just how you like them.”
“Can you turn that television down? You know I hate dogs. That barking is giving me a headache
already.” Taehyung’s lips part in surprise and he wants to hit himself for forgetting to turn the
television off. He always watches that morning show while cooking breakfast, only because it
calms him down and his urge to have a puppy of his own.
“I’m sorry, honey, I forgot to do that…” he apologizes as he does as requested. “I already chose a
suit for you to wear today. It’s ready to go, shoes as well.” Taehyung smiles, walking over to his
stool. “I know you have an important meeting today so you’ll be looking impeccable, honey.”
“Good.” is the only thing he says, taking a bite from his toast. His eyes fall, almost accidentally, on
Taehyung’s reddened cheek, and his mind immediately warns him to say something about it. “We
had such a great night, didn’t we?” he asks, his voice as soft as it can sound. “You made me feel
great, as always.” his hand lifts itself to cup Taehyung’s face but it doesn’t last for not even two
seconds.
Taehyung smiles, nonetheless. “Yes…” the blonde says, not very sure. There were a lot of things
he didn’t enjoy but Hyungsik taught him that it’s not really ok to complain about it. “Yes, we did.
An amazing time.” he settles with just that, despite not being entirely true.
“How about we have a more serious dinner tonight? Buy a bottle of red wine and cook something
fancier, we’ll enjoy our time together. How does that sound?” Taehyung’s eyes light up at that,
shining. He doesn’t remember the last time they had a romantic evening.
“That sounds so good.” Taehyung leans in for a kiss but Hyungsik takes his mug to his lips,
causing a deep frown to settle on Taehyung’s soft features. “What time will you be home…?”
“Seven-thirty, Taehyung. Make sure to be dressed for the occasion.” Taehyung smiles with a nod.
“We will enjoy this night.”
“We sure will. Thank you.”
│►
Jungkook rests his weight against the wall, taking a deep breath before continuing to walk. He has
passed by two kids on their way to school and their mothers made sure to get them far away from
him. He feels embarrassed, yes, but his mind is too cloudy to actually think about it. He doesn’t
care, at least not at the moment.
With wobbly arms, he pushes the door to the gas station open, mumbling something under his
breath as the automatic door simply slides to the side. How could he forget that he doesn’t have to
push it? The ding sound brings attention to him, thinking that perhaps it’s a customer.
Yugyeom gasps as he sees his state, the way he’s stumbling to walk through the aisles, knocking
some items to the floor. “I’ll— I’ll— I’ll get that later.” he points at the chocolate bars on the
floor, continuing to walk towards the counter. “Good morning!” Jungkook almost yells.
“Jungkook?” he hears his coworker calling and he has to hold onto the counter to keep himself up
correctly. “Are you— Why are you drunk this early in the morning? Holy shit.” Yugyeom
whispers.
“I’m not— who’s drunk?! I’ve never even consumed alcohol in my life…!” Jungkook laughs. “I
should go change, I need to— get to work.” he covers his mouth when he hiccups. “Sorry, that
wasn’t a burp, I swear.”
“Dude, boss is here today, you’re such an idiot, this is the worst day you could possibly show up
drunk. Hide before he—”
“What in the world is happening here?!” they hear from behind them and Yugyeom jumps, trying
to cover Jungkook with his slightly smaller frame. “Someone answer me right now.”
“It’s nothing, Jungkook is just feeling a little sick today, that’s all.” he tries but Jungkook giggles at
that, slapping Yugyeom’s shoulder with no strength.
“I can smell the booze all the way from here.” the older man steps closer, takes a good look at
Jungkook. “Go home before you break something. I don’t want you here like this.” Jungkook rests
his head on the counter but Yugyeom’s eyes grow bigger for another reason.
“Is he fired? Don’t fire him, he’s been working here for a while now, he—”
“He’s not fired but it’s not his first or second warning. He pulls something like this again and he
won’t be back here. And I’m not paying him for today. Showing up drunk? Who does he think I
am? I don’t accept this in my establishment, this is beyond unacceptable.”
“I’ll call someone to come grab him.” the older man shakes his head at Jungkook, clearly
disappointed. “Jungkook, you stupid b—”
“I want some whiskey. Please, whisk— give me.” he asks, hand in the air, waiting. “Give me.”
“No. Give me your phone right now.” Yugyeom says as he himself dives his hand inside
Jungkook’s pocket, taking the device. He uses Jungkook’s finger to unlock it, opening the
contacts. There are two frequently used so he presses on the first one, taking the phone to his ear.
“Don’t call anyone, I’m fine…!”
“You can barely stand up. Sit down before you fall and hit your head, please.” he advises.
“Fine…”
│►
“C’mon, just another step.” Yoongi helps the young man get closer to the bed to just fall over and
Jungkook’s eyes close immediately, body going limp on the mattress. “Why did you get drunk?
Especially at… eight in the morning?”
“Because… life.” he mumbles. “Every day.” another mumble almost incoherent and Yoongi rolls
his eyes. He hates to be rude, but his friend will have to listen and take it.
“I had to cancel my classes for this bullshit, Jungkook. My students don’t have to pay or get extra
work because you can’t take care of yourself. You’re twenty-seven, why in the goddamn world are
you drinking yourself stupid at eight in the morning?!” but no answer comes and Yoongi takes a
step closer.
The man’s chest rises and falls slowly and Yoongi finds himself sighing loudly. “Jungkook?” but
he’s already asleep, not even caring about the situation he’s put himself in. Yoongi shakes his
head, grabbing onto Jungkook’s feet to pull his shoes off, throwing his legs carefully to the
mattress before covering him.
“Hey Moon, come with me, let him sleep.” the dog hesitates, looking back to her owner. “C’mon,
food?” that gets her to follow, tail wagging. Yoongi closes the door to keep her from waking
Jungkook up, grabbing his phone immediately.
He scrolls through his contact list until he sees Seokjin’s name and the phone rings as he sits
himself down on the couch. Moon lies down in front of him, head still up and tongue darting out.
“Hey, Yoongi, what’s up?” the voice sounds energetic as always.
“Are you busy?” he starts, a long sigh following suit. On the other side of the call, Seokjin furrows
his eyebrows in confusion.
“Not really, no. Why? Is everything ok? Aren’t you supposed to be in class?” Yoongi rests his
body back on the couch to allow Moon to lay her head on his lap after climbing next to him.
“I had to leave work because Kook’s coworker called me… he went to work drunk, so, so drunk,
and his boss gave him a warning and sent him home. He couldn’t even climb the stairs on his own,
I had to basically carry him.” there’s only silence for a few seconds and Yoongi wonders if the call
ended by accident, but no, it’s still on.
“It’s so early in the morning, why was he drinking?” is what he asks, worry sipping through his
voice. “Please tell me that you scolded him.”
“I tried. He fell asleep, didn’t even listen to me.” Yoongi sighs. “I wonder if something happened.
I’ve never seen him drunk, I don’t think he usually drinks… so I’m worried.”
“Maybe he got stressed over his therapy session yesterday. I’ll buy some take out and we’ll have
dinner together there, we should talk to him, at least make sure that he talks about it with Mr. Kim
even if he doesn’t want to tell us.” Yoongi nods to himself, agreeing.
“When is his next session?” there’s a few seconds of silence, Seokjin looking for the card he was
given by the lady on the front desk.
“Three days from now.” he finally answers. “The good part about that clinic being so expensive is
that it’s not as booked. He seems to need it more than we thought…”
“Do you… do you think he drinks? Often?” silence, yet again. “Jin?”
“I don’t know, we’ll have to talk to him. I have to go now, I have a client arriving, I’ll call you
later, alright? Keep an eye on him, please.” his voice sounds rushed, as if the person is already
close. “See if you can find anything, maybe bottles or whatever.”
“I will. Thanks, I’ll see you later then.”
│►
Taehyung looks at himself in the mirror, adding a little more mascara to his eyelashes. He
remembers Jimin used to compliment them a lot, and still does sometimes. He wishes that he could
get some compliments from his fiancé as well.
His lips have a rosy tone from the Vaseline he added and he has to say he looks nice. He dressed
up, even if it’s to stay at home. The food is ready done, still in the oven so that it doesn’t get cold,
and he himself is ready to receive his soon-to-be husband.
The clothes he chose are simple, though well placed together. Taehyung remembers wearing
similar pieces on their first date. He wonders if Hyungsik will notice that. His phone rings and so
he rushes to pick it up. Jimin. “Hey, Minnie.” Taehyung says with a pout, their almost fight still
vivid in his mind.
“Hey, Taehyungie.” that does put a smile on his face. “I’m calling to make sure that we’re ok…
you didn’t call me during lunch and you always do…”
“Oh, I was busy with work, some patients got transferred and I just ate a sandwich while filling up
paperwork, I didn’t have the time to call today.” Jimin nods, though Taehyung can’t see the
moment. “Why wouldn’t we be ok?” Taehyung still asks.
“I was a little rude yesterday. You know I try to understand and look at the bright side of things and
that didn’t really happen, I went straight into a judgmental position…” Jimin sighs. “Do you
reckon it will be… good for you to see Jeon again?”
“Honestly? I don’t think it will be a problem. For starters, he’s just my patient, and also, he feels
very different, he was being very honest. I don’t know, he gives me calm vibes, totally different
from high school. He seems to have changed a lot.”
“That’s good. Just make sure to transfer him to another doctor if he starts acting up. I don’t want
you hurt by him again, ok?” Jimin’s voice is as calm as ever, caring and warm.
“Okay, I promise to do so but he seriously feels calm and honest. And grown.” he shrugs, ready to
change the topic. “Anyhoo, I’m waiting for Sik to get home, we’re having a date night.”
“Okay… alright, where are you going?” Taehyung giggles. “Or are you staying home?”
“We’re staying in. I cooked one of his favorite meals and just finished getting ready, he should be
arriving any minute now. I’m happy, we haven’t had a date night like this in a really long time.” he
smiles to himself, checking his reflection in the mirror again.
“I hope it goes well, you deserve a good night…” Jimin says. “You know I don’t like him but I
hope you have a good time.”
“Me too.” Taehyung nods slowly. “I’ll have to go now, Minie. He should be here already so he
may come in soon. I’ll call you tomorrow, ok?”
“Okay. I love you, have fun.”
“I love you too.” and with that, he finishes up the call, spraying some cologne on his neck before
leaving to the living room. He plops himself on the couch, legs crossed. And he waits, knowing his
fiancé will be home in a moment so that they can finally have some quality time together and enjoy
their meal.
│►
“Sit down.” Jungkook stops in his tracks as soon as he steps into the kitchen, blinking. “Sit down
immediately.” he pouts but does as he’s told.
“Are you guys mad at me?” he mumbles and looks up as Yoongi walks to the fridge, pulling the
door open. Jungkook gulps, the only things in his fridge are fruits and bottles of whiskey.
“What is this?” he asks. “Is this what you spend your money on? Alcohol?” Jungkook looks down
at the counter, not saying anything. “We help you all the time, and this is what you’re wasting your
money on?!”
“I don’t ask for help, do I?” Jungkook looks up at them, both his friends holding angry
expressions. “You can walk out if you’re so pissed. Just go, I won’t try to stop you.”
“Jungkook, you’re twenty-seven and the only thing you use your money for, is whiskey. Why?
Since when do you even like whiskey?” and so Jungkook chuckles, because his friends really have
no idea of what life is like for him.
“Can we please not talk about it?” he asks, begs, but Yoongi takes a step closer after closing the
fridge again. “Please, I can’t— I can’t deal with this right now.” his voice breaks.
“Jungkook… we worry about you. You have to tell us if something isn’t right. Do you have a
drinking problem?” silence. “Why didn’t you tell us? We could’ve gotten you to go to rehab or
something, we could’ve—”
“I don’t want to stop drinking. I can’t. If I stop, the dreams come back and—” he stops. He has
already said too much. “Let’s drop this, please, I beg you. I don’t want to talk about this.”
“Why were you drunk at eight in the morning?” Yoongi asks, nonetheless.
“Because it’s my breakfast. I just drank too much, I guess.” their jaws fall in surprise. “Please don’t
throw the bottles out, I can’t afford to buy more right now. Please. Please don’t throw them out.”
“Kooks—” Seokjin runs a hand through his hair, tugging on it. “We can’t let you continue drinking
like this, you could’ve been fired. Do you understand how serious this is?”
“I know. Don’t you think I hate this?” he throws his hands in the air. “I’m always drunk, more…
tipsy, to be honest. You’ve never noticed, just let me continue. Ignore this, I don’t want your
opinions on shit that you don’t and can’t understand.”
“Then help us understand.”
“I don’t want to worry you.” silence. “I’m getting therapy, right? I’ll be ok.” he whispers.
“Will you tell Dr. Kim about this?” Jungkook just continues to play with his ring, pouting as he
remembers what Taehyung said. He never noticed that. Now he notices it every time. “Will you?”
Yoongi insists when he gets no answer.
“Yes, I will. I promise. Now drop it, I’m hungry.” Jungkook smoothly changes the topic and
Seokjin sighs, getting the takeout boxes out of the bag. “I don’t want you guys to leave.” he
mumbles.
“We know, Kooks, we know.”
│►
Hyungsik pulls his pants up, looking at his watch. He’s over three hours late, but he can’t possibly
make himself care. “Can you zip up my dress?” his assistant asks, turning her back to him. He
pulls the zipper up, fingers trailing down her sides until they grab her waist.
“I have to go now.” Hyungsik announces, letting go of her.
“Can I go with you?” she pouts, buttoning up his shirt for him. “You never took me home…”
“Maybe next time.” he smiles at her. “Now I really have to go, alright? I’ll see you tomorrow.” she
joins their lips in a quick kiss, watching him leave with the jacket in his hands. Only when he gets
in his car does he put his engagement ring back on, chuckling to himself. People in his life just go
along with everything he says and he never felt as powerful.
The drive home is filled with texts and calls and he grows more and more annoyed by the second.
Taehyung’s contact picture appearing on the screen every so often. He’s losing patience, so he
turns the phone off, pressing harder on the gas. There’s no traffic, so he finds himself parking the
car in no time.
He sighs, already exhausted just thinking about the conversation that is most definitely in his way.
The apartment is almost quiet, only some sniffs coming from the living room. Hyungsik rolls his
eyes at Taehyung’s curled figure on the couch.
“Baby?” he calls. “You won’t believe what happened, I got held back, one of the employees
messed up something and I had so much paperwork to go over and yes, it was impossible to come
home because of it. I tried, I really did try to.” his lips curve down and Taehyung pouts, sitting up
as he wipes his tears with one hand.
“Why didn’t you pick up my calls…? It’s been almost four hours, the food is cold, my makeup is
messed up…” he whispers, voice rough from crying. He was left all alone, and even if Hyungsik
has just explained what happened, it still hurts.
“I’m so sorry, I wish I could’ve had the time…” Taehyung nods, sniffing. He leans closer into his
fiancé to seek some comfort but Hyungsik gets up, fixing his suit. “I’ll be taking a shower now.”
“What about dinner…? I can heat it up— “

“Oh, I already ate something at work.” and at that, Taehyung feels stupid. Terribly stupid. “You
know I love you, baby. I was just held back. It won’t happen again.”
The blonde smiles. It hurts, but Hyungsik’s words feel real even though they’re not. And so
Taehyung nods. “I love you too, I’ll just eat on my own.”
“Alright. I’ll take a shower and head to the bed.”
“Ok, I’ll—” Taehyung stops when Hyungsik disappears into the hallway, not interested in what he
has to say. “—join you in a second…” he whispers, sighing. But he can’t complain. He has a good
life. Hyungsik loves him. They have a good relationship, he believes.
Everyone has their flaws, he knows. So Hyungsik is not bad, he thinks.
But everyone could see how wrong he was about his own fiancé. Terribly wrong.
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 5 │►
Chapter Notes
Jungkook sits back on the chair, not meeting his friend’s gaze. “Why are you sitting down? Go to
the office.” Seokjin says, pointing towards the hallway with a puzzled look in his eyes.
“I’m nervous.” he mumbles as his best friend takes the seat next to his. “It may sound dumb to you
but now that I know it’s Taehyung, it feels like he has some kind of perspective on me, he knows I
was smart and shit, I’m a waste of—”
“You were not smart. You are smart. And, for that reason, you’re going to get up now and go to
that office while I wait here for you.” Jungkook rubs his sweaty palms against his jeans, slapping
his knees weakly before getting up. Seokjin is right, he can’t assume the worst just like that.
“Ok. I’ll—”
“Don’t forget to tell him what happened the other day.” Seokjin points, crossing his legs as he
grabs his phone, missing the way Jungkook’s shoulders fall at his words. He’s already nervous
enough, the mention only makes his anxiety skyrocket in one single second.
“I don’t— I don’t want to talk about it.” he whispers, chest feeling a little tight at the thought of
sharing something so private that not even his friends were supposed to know about.
“Jungkook, you know I won’t pressure you into anything, but this…? You better be damn sure that
I will. You can lose your job, do you realize how serious that is? How will you keep your house?
Keep Moon well-fed? Huh?” Jungkook looks down with a sigh, embarrassment seeping through
him. He knows all of this, he does.
“Taehyung says that I only have and only should share what I feel comfortable with…” he still
tries, though he knows his best friend won’t just drop it.
“Kook—” Seokjin stops himself, running a hand through his hair. “This is serious. Behave like the
thirty-year-old that you will soon be and try to make things right, ok? It’s his job and he won’t
judge you or whatever you think may happen, just go in there and tell him.”
“Yeah. Yeah, ok. I’ll tell him.” Jungkook nods ever so slowly, feeling everything but confident in
his own answer. He doesn’t want to talk about it, especially not to someone who apparently
expected so much more from him in the past. He was smart, still, that’s how he ended up as.
He feels like he has something to prove to Taehyung, which doesn’t make sense but he feels as
though he needs to prove that he’s not just someone who works on a job where he’s underpaid
because he didn’t get to go to college. And he knows he shouldn’t prove anything to his therapist,
because the sane part of him knows that Taehyung doesn’t see him as a failure.
He still isn’t exactly comfortable talking about himself, even if Taehyung has a calming aura, so
it’s even weirder that he wants to prove himself so badly. He hopes that he will be able to open up;
eventually, as it still feels out of reach to do so. “Jungkook, go. You’ll be late.” the aforementioned
nods to himself, heading towards the same door he got in last time.
“Good morning…” he says as he opens the door, finding Taehyung pacing around with a binder,
reading whatever is there. Notes, Jungkook guesses.
At the sound of his voice, the doctor raises his head, opening a smile for him. “Good morning,
Jungkook.” he says then, closing the binder and leaving it on top of the table between the two
couches. He takes a few steps closer, grabbing the paper from the front desk and gesturing for the
other to follow him so that they can take a seat.
Taehyung holds his notepad and a pencil, while Jungkook just stares at his knees.
And the forty-five minutes start counting. “How are you feeling today, Jungkook?” their eyes meet
and the young man has to stop himself from shrinking under Taehyung’s focused gaze.
“Nervous.” he admits. “And… somewhat embarrassed, I guess.” Taehyung tilts his head to the
side, eyeing his body language. His shoulders are slumped down but rigid, fingers toying with that
same ring, jaw well defined from biting down his own teeth.
“You guess?” he asks and Jungkook shuffles a little on the couch, getting himself more
comfortable. “Why do you ‘guess’ you’re feeling embarrassed?”
“Well— I uh, my friends made me promise that I’d tell you this so I guess— I’ll have to.” he
scratches the back of his neck, gulping.
“You don’t have to tell me anything that you don’t want to, Jungkook, that defeats the purpose of
trying to get you comfortable with me first.” and that does relax him a little, but he knows his best
friends will pull out his beating heart if he doesn’t come clean.
“Yeah, I know that, but… I feel like I should tell you either way.” Jungkook sighs. “I almost got
fired the other day because I showed up drunk and my friends found out about my drinking
problem because of it.” he says in a single breath, afraid he may chicken out otherwise.
Taehyung notes it down without breaking eye contact. “Ok…” he starts. “Do you want to elaborate
on that? Or maybe wait for some other day? I see why your friends are worried so I’d be a little
more relaxed if we were able to tackle that today, but we can leave it.”
“Well… my breakfast consists of whiskey. That’s everyday life, it’s— whatever, it’s nothing
important anymore. The problem is that I drank a little too much and uh, got drunk. I wish I could
stop drinking but I don’t want to at the same time.” he whispers the last part.
“And why is that? Do you have a reason as to why you want to keep the habit or is it just the
weight of the addiction?” Jungkook looks up at him, eyes red. Saying addiction makes it feel way
too real.
“Drinking is what keeps me from thinking. I’m always a little tipsy. No one ever knows about it,
though. I’m currently not exactly sober, did you notice?” he tries to smile, but is unsuccessful.
“Yes, I did.” Jungkook frowns. “Your eyes are redder, pupils a little blown. And I can smell the
booze on your breath. Apart from that, you do a great job at pretending to be ok.” Taehyung points
out, gesturing towards him with his pen. “I can tell, however. It’s my job to pick it up…”
“Anyway…!” the older man says. “It helps me ignore my reality a little. And at night… it’s the
only thing that helps me sleep. If I don’t drink, I’m too scared to sleep so I just… can’t.” Taehyung
hands work fast to write down every single detail that he finds important, curiosity and also
concern building up the more he knows.
“Why are you scared of falling asleep?” Jungkook gulps. He should’ve seen that question coming,
yet it still bothers him. “Is there a traumatic reason behind it?”
“Yes but also not really…?” he shrugs. “I have really bad dreams if I even attempt to fall asleep
sober. And— And so I don’t sleep. I either drink myself stupid until I just blackout or just stay
awake all night.” Taehyung takes some seconds to look at him, seeing how deep in his thoughts he
looks. It makes him raise an eyebrow at how sane Jungkook is still able to be even when tipsy.
It makes him wonder how used he actually is to be like that.
“What kind of dreams?” he doesn’t miss the way the questions hits the older man and so he
retracts. “You don’t have to answer that, we can get to it some other time.”
“Ok. Ok, great. I don’t— I don’t think I’d be able to get into it.” Taehyung gives him a reassuring
smile and Jungkook feels his own lips stretching slightly. “Also… can you uh, not uhm, not give
your opinion on the whole alcoholism thing? I’m… I don’t think I’m ready to hear it.” he almost
whispers, embarrassed.
Taehyung nods. He understands. He always does, it seems. “So.” the doctor looks at his notes for a
second, having no time to think of a way to change the topic. He has to get Jungkook’s trust and
small talk is always a great way to do so. “How’s Moon?”
That does work on making Jungkook’s smile grow a lot more. They keep the conversation about
his dog for a long time, until they switch it to something else, something just as light, and
Jungkook’s visibly feeling way more comfortable and relaxed now.
“Did you keep contact with anyone from high school?” Taehyung asks.
“Nope. My two best friends came up afterwards and I hadn’t seen anyone from high school until
you appeared.” he says with a little chuckle. “What about you? I remember seeing you with that
shorter guy…” Taehyung smiles. “What was his name? Park? Park something, I believe.”
“Jimin. Park Jimin.” Jungkook nods at that. That’s the one. “He’s still my best friend to this day,
yeah.” the patient’s eyes fall to the floor at that.
“Did you… tell him about me being here? He probably hates me.” he tries to smile but feels too
terrible to do so. “And he has all the rights to, I’m not saying that he doesn’t…”
“I did, vaguely. I can’t talk about my patients so I didn’t get into details. He told me to send you
away.” Jungkook looks up at him, hurt flashing behind his eyes. “I said no, obviously.”
“He’s right, though.” he sighs. “You should send me away. You’re far too nice, Taehyung.”
“You apologized, it’s been ten years and people change. Why would I still be holding grudges
against you? It’s alright. Imagine if I wasn’t understanding in this field… don’t worry about the
past, I don’t care for it.” Jungkook pouts slightly at that, fiddling with his own fingers.
“Just know that I won’t be mad or something like it if you decide to send me to another doctor. I’ll
probably not come back, though, but—” he stops himself. Taehyung has to force his smile to stay
away, doing his best to act like such words didn’t do anything.
“Don’t worry, I’m not sending you away. If I were to do that, I would’ve done it already. I won’t
do such a thing to you… or anyone.” Jungkook nods, still a little apprehensive. “T—” the alarm on
the table rings, indicating the end of the session.
“Oh.” Jungkook blinks. “Time flies by so fast in here.” he chuckles, a little awkward yet again. He
never knows how to say goodbye. “Does— Does it pass quickly for you as well?”
“With some people, yeah. I shouldn’t tell you this but uhm, well, some stories are… how should I
put this, less… uhm… less…” he gestures with a hand, trying to find a proper word to use.
“Some people are boring.” Jungkook finishes it for him, chuckling again. “Do I fit in that category,
hm? Am I one of the boring patients for you?”
“I wouldn’t say boring—!” Taehyung quickly defends. “But some are indeed more appealing to
listen to. Those sessions tend to pass way faster. Yours have been quick so far, but it’s only your
second one so we have yet to see if you will turn boring.” it’s a joke, Jungkook can tell from the
way Taehyung’s lips curl up ever so slightly.
“I certainly will. The years have made me a boring man.” they both get up from the couch,
walking towards the door again.
“I don’t believe that. But I still have a lot more to find out, so make another appointment, I’d love
to get you back here.” Taehyung smiles more openly, extending his arm to offer a handshake.
Jungkook immediately takes it. They still bow afterwards, nonetheless.
“I sure will. I’ll set another appointment right away.” he smiles too. “Thank you, Taehy— doctor.”
“You can call me Taehyung, it’s fine. I don’t really care about it.” he waves a hand in the air. He’s
never minded what his patients addressed him as, he can’t even begin to care now with Jungkook
when they’ve known each other — kind of — for a decade.
“Oh. Ok. Thank you, Taehyung.” Jungkook corrects his previous statement.
“You’re welcome, Jungkook. Have a nice day.” they finally let go of the maybe a little prolonged
handshake and bow to each other politely again.
“You too.” and with that, he leaves. He closes the door behind himself, walking through the
hallway on his way out. His friend isn’t sitting in the lobby anymore so he goes to meet him in his
car instead. “Hey.” Jungkook greets, sitting down.
“So? How did it go?” Seokjin asks as he starts the car, looking back through the rearview mirror to
exit the parking spot. “Should I drop you at your apartment?”
“No, no. I have work, drop me at the station, please.” his friend nods, already driving away. “And
it went well… he does have a comforting aura, I don’t feel judged when I speak, you know?”
“That’s very good, Kooks.” he pats his knee “Did you tell him?” Jungkook nods with a sigh. “And
what did he say?” silence. “Kooks? What did he say about it…?”
“Well— he, uh, you see… I asked him not to comment on it.” he blurts out quickly, looking away
to the window. “He asked some questions and I answered until I didn’t feel comfortable to answer
anymore and so we changed the subject.”
“Why would you not want him to comment? That’s why you’re going there, to seek help, if he
doesn’t comment, it’s the same thing as you talking to Moon!” Seokjin hits the steering wheel with
the palm of his hand, sighing. Jungkook hates it, he has to keep himself from flinching.
“He doesn’t know everything yet, he can’t judge my habits without knowing why I have them, it’s
not fair on me. I’m not going to him think that I’m just a fucking alcoholic, ok? I’m not, I’m really
not. I’m— fuck this, I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Yeah, that’s your problem.” Jungkook turns to him with a frown and Seokjin looks away from the
streets for a second. “If you talked, you wouldn’t need therapy, to begin with.”
“Stop the car.” he asks but his friend doesn’t comply. “Jin, stop the car. You’re judging me over
things you don’t even know about, so stop the fucking car, I’ll walk to my job.” Jungkook repeats,
voice still soft and careful, but words certain. He doesn’t want to be there any longer.
“I’m not letting you out of this car. Neither am I judging you, I’m just saying that if you want this
to work, you have to open up. You have to, otherwise this won’t help. Doctor Kim isn’t a miracle
worker, he’s a therapist who you have to talk to in order to get better.”
“Well, it’s hard, Jin.” he throws his hands in the air, exasperated. “It’s really fucking hard to just
talk about myself and what troubles me when I don’t like worrying people.”
“I don’t think Dr. Kim is exactly worried about you. He’s your therapist, I highly doubt that he
cares that much about his patients. Imagine the burden if he did.” Jungkook scoffs. Burden. He
lays his head against the window without saying anything else.
The silence that fills the car is not comfortable at all. Jungkook can feel how tense his shoulders
are, wanting nothing but to leave the confined space before he actually has a fight with his best
friend. He absolutely hates fighting; either be it himself or someone else.
Seokjin looks over for a second, seeing the frown on Jungkook’s face. He sighs. “I’m sorry, I don’t
want to be an idiot, I’m just worried about you. I want you to feel better and knowing that you’re
not opening up gets me stressed because I feel like you’re not trying to help yourself.”
“I am, Jin. I am. It’s just hard, ok? I’m opening up, slowly, but I am. Taehyung said I should share
what makes me feel comfortable and that’s what I’m doing. This was just our second meeting, you
can’t expect me to let everything out like that when I’ve never in my life allowed anyone to know a
single thing about me. It’s fucking tough to change my ways and to trust people. I’ve never, ever,
voiced a concern in my life, so— please, don’t expect me to get better with just two sessions.” his
voice breaks at the end and Seokjin feels a pang of guilt in his chest. It’s his fault.
“I’m sorry, I understand. You should go at your own pace.” Jungkook looks away with a quiet
sigh. He knows that Seokjin doesn’t really understand it. He doesn’t blame him.
“I don’t want to fight. I really don’t.” he says then. “If it’s because you’re the one paying for these
sessions then I can— I can try asking if I can start working extra hours and pay for it myself, I
don’t want you to carry this weight. I know how expensive they are.”
“No. Don’t even think about that. Besides, I split the bills with Yoongi, it’s all alright. You have
more important things to worry about rather than working extra hours at that place.” he pats
Jungkook’s thigh as he stops the car. “I hope you’re not mad at me.”
“I’m not. I understand it may be frustrating to see me not doing any progress – thought it was
literally the second time I went there – but you have to understand that it’s not easy for me. I’m not
mad, but don’t do that again, ok? It makes me super anxious…”
“Yeah, I’m sorry, I understand.” he opens his arms, pulling his friend into a tight hug. “Now go, I
don’t want you to get there late.” Jungkook smiles with a short nod, opening the door to get out of
the car. Seokjin drives away when he closes it again and Jungkook sighs. He hates his working
place, he hates the customers. The only reason he hasn’t quit his job is because he doubts that he’d
get another one. At least fast enough not to starve in the meanwhile.
He rubs his eyes before walking towards the door, already so done with his entire day. The start of
the morning went well, but he’s definitely not looking forward to the six hours he still has to work.
The bing sound the door makes when he steps inside is already engraved in his mind and he
wonders if he will ever get rid of it. He desperately wants to. “Dude, you’re so fucking late, boss is
going to kill you. You should’ve gotten here like two hours ago.” Yugyeom says as soon as he sees
him and Jungkook cracks a smile at that.
“I called him, I had… something important to do this morning and he allowed me to come in later
than usual. Did he not warn you? I’m sorry.” Jungkook half explains. “He was so pissed when he
said I could come in later, he hates me so fucking much.”
“He does hate you. I do have to say that after the drunk situation, he probably dislikes you even
more…” Yugyeom scratches the back of his neck with a sympathetic smile.
“He’s probably just waiting for me to slip up again somehow so that he can fire me with an actual
reason. I know it.” his pout makes the other chuckle quietly. “I can’t afford to be fired.”
“Then you can’t slip up. Which means that you surely can’t come in… like that. Why were you
drunk at eight in the morning, to begin with?” Jungkook finishes putting his work shirt on, adding
the little tag with his name before joining his coworker behind the counter.
“I don’t know, I never drink so I don’t know what happened.” he lies. A complete lie and he has to
keep himself from just laughing at his own words.
“Just… be careful next time. If you want to drink, try doing that after working hours.” Yugyeom
pats his shoulder, taking some steps away to go back to his phone where he hides it under the
counter. Jungkook doesn’t say anything else.
What could he possibly answer to that? That he’s well aware of how and when to drink but had a
weak moment? He couldn’t possibly say that. It would make him look pathetic in front of yet
someone else. He doesn’t need that.
He grabs the nearest piece of paper, stealing Yugyeom’s pen to try to keep himself entertained for
at least some time. His hand moves almost at its own accord, the pen leaving a trail of blue ink
wherever it passes and Jungkook hums after some time, agreeing with himself in silence.
“Are you listening?” Yugyeom turns to him with something close to a frown and blinks when he
sees Jungkook so focused on the paper. “Dude… What in the world—!” he almost yells once he
registers the ink and the creation.
“What?” Jungkook jumps in place, startled. He watches as his coworker steals the paper from his
grasp and furrows his eyebrows. “Give it back, what the fuck.” Jungkook tries, only to have his
arm swatted away.
“Since when do you draw?” Yugyeom inquires as he analyses it and Jungkook frowns, grabbing
the paper in one go. “You’re very talented, that’s an amazing drawing if you ask me.”
“Thanks…” he mumbles. “Just don’t steal my shit from me like that. I don’t like showing my
drawings to people.” Yugyeom pouts at that, scratching the back of his neck.
“Sorry, I didn’t think.” Jungkook just waves him off. “Why didn’t you go to college for arts? You
could’ve gotten something amazing out of it.”
“Well, I…” a gulp. “I just didn’t want to go to college.” he lies, fisting the paper in his palm to
throw it in the trash. Yugyeom’s jaw slacking with surprise at the ruined piece of art. “Don’t bring
it up again.” Jungkook asks.
“But—” a glare makes him stop and raise his hands in surrender. “Okay, I just think you should’ve
dived into that talent of yours.”
“It’s not a talent and I don’t want to talk about it. I work here and probably always will, doesn’t
matter if I can draw or not.” Jungkook says, final, and is thankful when his coworker just sighs and
nods, not disagreeing with him again.
│►
Taehyung hums a low melody he heard on the radio earlier on his way to work, stirring the spoon
around the coffee mug. Two spoons and a half. No more, no less. Mixed to perfection until there’s
no solid sugar in the liquid. That’s how his fiancé likes it.
He holds the mug between his palms to keep them warm, rushing to the office where he knocks
softly. There’s a low word of consent and so he pushes the door opened, smiling. “I brought you
some coffee, darling.” Taehyung says, taking some steps towards his fiancé. “You’re working so
hard, you should take a rest…” Hyungsik scoffs, looking away from the papers briefly, glasses sat
low on the bridge of his nose.
“Rest? Who will take care of the company, Taehyung? Try fucking thinking before speaking.” his
words are as cold as fast and he simply grabs the coffee from Taehyung’s hands without even
thanking him for it.
“I know but— you’re only one of the directors, not the C—” he’s interrupted by a fist hitting the
table. It startles him, makes him jump in place.
“Shut your mouth. Stop downgrading my work, alright? I work my fucking ass off, Taehyung, and
I can’t just leave. It’s not like your useless fucking job. Mine has people involved, people depend
on what I do.” Taehyung takes a step back, lips dropping into a sad frown.
“I’m sorry, you’re right, I shouldn’t have suggested such a thing. I know you’re very important in
the company. I’m sorry. Can— Can I help you at all?” he smiles, his eyebrows still furrowed.
“If you want to help, get on your knees under my desk. Otherwise, get the hell out. I’m trying to
work.” Taehyung gulps, not very sure of what to do. He wants to help his fiancé, but the suggestion
doesn’t sound too appealing. He’s never been able to enjoy it himself, Hyungsik always hurts him
somehow, especially his jaw.
He understands that it’s just how it works, but he’d rather not have to do it.
“So?” Hyungsik asks after a few seconds of silence. “Get to it.” he drags his chair back a little and
Taehyung stutters a confused what. Can’t he just pick the second option?
“I have to— I need to—” Taehyung points to the door behind himself but Hyungsik raises an
eyebrow, relaxing further on the chair.
“Come here.” he pats his thigh and watches as the blonde walks carefully towards him, settling on
his leg. Both hands on his lap since Hyungsik doesn’t like it when Taehyung hugs his neck or
whatever part of him, really. “You know I love you, right?” Hyungsik asks with a smile and
Taehyung mirrors it right away, nodding. “We’ll get married sooner than later, these are just things
that you must do as my fiancé, but you already know that, right?”
“Yes. Yes, I do. I’m sorry.” he says, gently getting up from his fiancé’s thighs, only to drop on his
knees. “I hope I don’t make you late with all the work you have to do…”
“This will be relaxing. Get to it.” Hyungsik instructs with yet again his cold voice, grabbing a sheet
of paper to go over while Taehyung fumbles with his already open belt.
“Ok, ok.”
│►
Jungkook opens his eyes when he hears scratching on his door followed by a long whine. He
chuckles, putting down the bottle of whiskey to be able to get up from bed. He stumbles a little,
having to stop and close his eyes for a second. The room is spinning around him but Moon is still
crying at the door and that’s way more important.
“I’m going, baby girl.” he says, voice a little slurred. His body almost falls against the door for
support in order to open it, the dog immediately peeking her head inside, tail wagging from side to
side. “Let’s sleep, huh?”
There’s a loud bark and he has to shush her, laughing quietly. “Get in bed. Jump.” she obeys right
away, sitting down as she waits for her owner to lay down and Jungkook stumbles to do so, body
falling on the mattress when he reaches it. Moon gets closer, licking his face. “Hey, stop it.” he
pushes her away with no strength, barely managing to get her to stop.
“Bad girl. Bad, bad. Don’t lick me.” Jungkook holds a scolding finger up and Moon lays down,
eyes still on him. “Don’t look sad, oh God, sorry.” he whines back, petting her head with both
hands. “Daddy had a very stressful day today. I shouldn’t let it on you, though, so I am
apologizing. I’m so sorry.” Moon just drags herself closer, resting her fluffy head on his abdomen.
Jungkook drags the bottle of liquor, taking a big sip. “I feel lonely sometimes. I’m glad that I have
you.” he whispers. “Alcohol is supposed to make me stop thinking but sometimes not even that
works.” a loud sigh escapes his lips, followed by another sip from his bottle. “I feel alone today. I
guess I will finish this bottle before falling asleep, huh?”
He rests his hand on Moon’s fur, twirling it between his fingers. “Sleep well. I too shall be sleeping
soon enough, I hope. I have work tomorrow morning, the alcohol better have worn off by then.”
though he simply takes the bottle to his lips yet again, not fazed by his own words. The alcohol
clouding his judgment and not letting him think clearly. That’s what he wants.
And so he continues, the bottle almost empty.
│►
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Chapter End Notes
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◄│ 6 │►
Chapter Notes
Jungkook closes his eyes to try and rest his body without actually falling asleep, head against the
window, balanced perfectly so that he doesn’t fall to either side in case he does sleep for a brief
moment. The floor isn’t exactly comfortable but he takes it. “Dude, this has surveillance cameras,
boss’ going to see you sleeping.” Yugyeom whisper-yells, slapping his knee. “Also, there’s a guy
coming and it’s your turn to take ta customer, so get up.”
“It’s not my turn, I was the one talking to the last one.” Jungkook complains without opening his
eyes, only crossing his arms and slumping back even more. “You deal with that.”
“You’re leaving early, they’re all going to be your turn until you go.” he pokes Jungkook’s leg
continuously with his foot. “Why are you leaving early anyway? It’s like, the third time this month,
dude. How is the boss allowing it to happen?”
“He has to, basically. The reason I have is bigger than his hatred for me, so he lets me leave
earlier. My rights as a worker say that my reason is valid enough to be allowed to go.” Jungkook
explains with a tired voice. “Just take whoever is, please.”
“Hey… are you ok? What is it you’re doing when you leave early?” Yugyeom asks with a frown,
keeping an eye on the customer that gathers a few packs of snacks.
“Oh, it’s uh, nothing. Don’t worry, okay? I’m fine.” he opens his eyes to smile, pushing himself off
of the floor. “I’ll take the customer, you can stay there.”
The young man puts all of his snacks on the counter, giving him a polite smile. “Good morning.”
he says, opening his wallet. Jungkook smiles back, scanning everything and pressing some keys to
see the total. The customer only holds his card out.
“Press ok and then the code.” Jungkook instructs, waiting for the transaction to be done.
“Can you give me a bag, please?” he quickly grabs one, placing the items on the inside and
handing it to the young man alongside his credit card.
“Thank you, have a nice day.” Jungkook’s smile is gone as the boy steps away and he falls back to
where he was sitting down in a second. “See, I’m ok.”
“I don’t think dealing with a customer means that you’re doing alright.” Yugyeom says with an
eyebrow raised. “I’m just curious as to why you’ve been leaving early sometimes, that’s all.”
“It’s nothing.” he shrugs. “I should go change into my clothes, Jin will probably be here in a
second.” with a sigh over the lack of rest, he gets up from the floor again, walking past his
coworker. The employees’ room is empty when he closes the door behind himself, rubbing his
eyes. It’s going to be the fifth time he goes to therapy and it still feels like no change has really
happened. It should work slowly, he knows, but the way his friends talk about it makes him feel
bad, makes it feel like he really isn’t going anywhere at all.
Maybe he’s not doing well by not opening up more. He should talk more. But it’s hard. Talking is
hard and Taehyung lets him talk about what he wants. In the last three meetings, they talked about
Jungkook’s work and some experiences with his friends. He didn’t want to share, so he didn’t. And
Taehyung respected that every single time.
Seokjin didn’t.
It only makes him sigh again as he changes into his own black tee shirt, opening his personal
locker and looking around beforehand just to make sure that Yugyeom is nowhere to be found.
A bottle of liquor is safely stored there behind a pair of extra shoes and he takes three long gulps
before putting it there again. “Jungkook, your friend is here!” he hears and quickly closes the
locker, grabbing his wallet and phone and putting both of them in his jeans’ pockets. He fixes his
hair, deeming himself as ready to go.
“I’m going.” he says then, not resisting to open the locker again and just take another sip. Or two.
Or maybe just five. He hopes Seokjin won’t notice.
│►
“I’m going to the mall to buy something for my mom but I will be here when you come out, okay?”
Seokjin says with a smile and Jungkook nods, opening the car door. His leg wobbles a little and he
has to mentally slap himself to keep it under control. He has to control himself.
“I’ll see you in an hour.” he tells his best friend before closing the door again and watches as
Seokjin drives away. With a quiet sigh, he goes through the whole process of identifying himself at
the front desk, though it’s the fifth time he’s been there and the lady already knows him.
“Have a good session.” she says with a smile.
“You too.” he answers almost immediately and her face shifts into confusion. “I didn’t mean that. I
meant— whatever, thank you. I meant thank you.” Jungkook corrects and looks away,
embarrassed out of his mind.
He walks carefully to the office where he has spent some hours already and knocks once, twice
before opening the door. Taehyung is sitting on the couch already, his notes in hand. He looks like
he was just reading over them before Jungkook arrived.
“Good morning.” Jungkook greets, closing the door behind himself, and stumbling a little once he
steps further. “Oh—” he uses his arms to stabilize his body and his cheeks burn with
embarrassment. Why did he drink at work? He had everything under control.
“You’re drunk.” is the only thing he hears before Taehyung’s arms are around him, helping him to
walk towards the couch, where he plops himself with little to no finesse. Jungkook looks down at
his own lap, playing with his fingers and his ring, feeling the heavy weight of Taehyung’s eyes.
And the doctor just waits.
“I’m sorry.” he whispers when he manages to gather his thoughts.
“Why are you apologizing?” Jungkook raises his head, eyes a little red from the booze and he
shrugs. “A shrug? You don’t know?”
“I do— I just— I’m embarrassed. I didn’t— I’m sorry.” he rests his elbows on his thighs, laying
his head on his open palms. “I’m sorry, Taehyung…”
“You’ve told me that you’re always tipsy, we’ve been through that. My question is, why are you
drunk and not just tipsy?” Taehyung asks, pen in hand. “Did something happen?”
“I was changing into my clothes after work and— I only took one sip from the bottle, I know how
to keep myself sane so I just— I promise. But then it’s like that thing calls for me, I couldn’t… I
couldn’t stop myself from grabbing it again, drink more, and more. And— And now I’m over
here… embarrassing myself. And I’m sorry.” he whispers the ending.
“You’re oddly aware of everything even when you’re drunk.” Taehyung raises his eyebrow. “You
know, you’re a very intelligent guy, Jungkook. You should use that in your favor.” it’s the last
thing he says before getting up, his notes left on the couch.
Jungkook doesn’t lift his eyes, not even when he hears the door opening and closing. He realizes
then that he’s left alone in the room and that makes him release a deep sigh. Taehyung is right,
he’s smart, what the hell is he doing?
Still, he can’t stop, and Taehyung’s words only make his hands start shaking slightly. He’s
embarrassing, he’s a disappointment even for someone who doesn’t even know him.
He’s brought back from his thoughts with the door opening again and he gulps before daring to
look up. Taehyung holds a cup with one hand, the other closing the door behind himself. It’s silent
as he walks closer, only stopping in front of the older man with his arm stretched, offering the
coffee. “I added one sugar cube, I didn’t— I don’t know how you like it.” Taehyung sits down, a
little hesitant. “I can go get another one if—”
“It’s perfect, thank you.” Jungkook says even before he tastes it and Taehyung blinks. Oh. Alright,
that’s definitely a first. “You didn’t have to get me anything…”
“It will help wake you up a little bit, I can’t get anything out of you if you’re drunk, you may speak
about things that you don’t want me to know yet.” Jungkook nods, taking the cup to his mouth and
tasting it. Taehyung plays with his ring, a little nervous.
“Just the right amount of sugar.” he compliments, taking another sip. “I feel like shit for coming
here like this. Thank you for not— judging, I guess.”
“Oh, I am judging you really hard on the inside.” Taehyung jokes and Jungkook has to look first to
see him smile before smiling as well. He’s not sober enough to detect if it’s a joke or not.
“That’s alright.” he chuckles. “I deserve that.”
“I can’t judge your drinking habits before I get to know why you have them. I won’t judge you
even if it’s something unjustifiable.” Jungkook nods, playing with the cup. Taehyung makes him
feel comfortable and respected, he didn’t think he’d feel like that with his therapist. “I’m going to
start the timing now, you seem focused enough.”
“Okay.” Jungkook nods again. “I know what I’m doing, I’m too used to this.” Taehyung tilts his
head but doesn’t say anything. Not yet, at least. He starts the timer.
“So. What do you want to talk about today?” Taehyung rests back on the couch, watching the older
man with attentive eyes. “Are you in the mood to share something today?”
“I think so.” he gulps. The last consultations didn’t get anything from him and Seokjin scolded him
for hours for not telling Taehyung anything new. “I feel… very lonely at night.” Jungkook’s eyes
don’t leave the cup as he speaks, voice slow and calm, as always.
“What kind of lonely? Do you wish you had company? A lover…?” Taehyung tries, careful.
“I guess? Yeah.” he nods. “I just— it’s cold at night and I have to drink myself stupid to even fall
asleep. I think a lot at night while my thoughts aren’t clouded by the whiskey. And it makes me
think of how my bed is empty all the time. It’s just Moon and me. And I love her, really love her,
but… it must be really nice having someone to hold. I don’t even remember how that feels like
anymore.” Jungkook sighs, running a hand through his long hair.
Taehyung only listens, attentive.
“I believe everyone has those feelings. That need to hold or be held at times of loneliness, and I
always thought it was bullshit until I started to feel like that as well. Addictions can be overcome
by other habits, right? If I… If I had— maybe if I had someone, I wouldn’t be an alcoholic, maybe
I— I don’t— does that make sense?” he locks eyes with Taehyung for a second but doesn’t give
him the time to speak.
Once he starts speaking, he has a hard time stopping. Ironic, it is.
“It’s like smoking, in a way, I believe. When you crave a cigarette, fill your mouth with something
else, chips or whatever else you can, that’s how I quit smoking some years ago. When I crave
whiskey at night… I could just— I don’t know, rely on the other person. I could feed on… care
and affection. Maybe that would be enough for me to not have the dreams I have. I think that the
psychological term is a resilient person, right? Something like that?”
Again, he doesn’t wait for an answer.
“So I could have someone, someone to be that… well, thing for me but—” he comes to a stop only
to allow himself to think. “And I could try this, try to see if my late-night drunken theories are
correct, but then I don’t have anyone to test it with, I haven’t dated in like… nine years.”
His eyes are big with thoughts, hands going everywhere even if slowly, the cup still in one of his
hands. He raises his eyes and deflates a little once he sees his therapist staring right back at him,
eyes just as big as his own. “I’m rambling, I’m sorry.” he excuses himself, smile warm yet shy.
“Are you sure you’re drunk?” Taehyung raises an amused eyebrow. “The way you speak is really
captivating.” Jungkook looks away with a small blush, shaking his head ever so slowly.
“You’re saying that because I’m not making any sense. I’m sorry, I usually can’t think all that well
when I’m drunk.” and Taehyung’s surprise grows even stronger. If he’s not thinking properly, then
how would he speak if he were completely sober?
“I’m not just saying it, I mean my words.” he says. “So you want a partner… do you do anything to
look for one?” Jungkook chuckles.
“Nope.” Taehyung tilts his head. “I’m not very… sociable. Neither am I interesting… I’m a boring
thirty-year-old, as I told you.”
“You’re not even thirty yet.” the blonde holds a finger up. “You’re two years older than me, I
remember. You’re twenty-seven.” Jungkook nods at that, agreeing. “The way you speak isn’t from
someone who’s not interesting, Jungkook. You sound like someone who’s very, well, very
captivating to listen to. I don’t get bored for a single second.”
“Oh, I have to disagree, but thank you.” he chuckles. “I don’t even know how to date anymore, the
last relationship I had was after I finished high school. He was nice but I guess it wasn’t meant to
be. I was an idiot so I wasn’t really surprised when he broke up with me after two months.”
“Did you say… he?” Jungkook drops his eyes at that, gulping. “I knew it.”
“You knew?” he softly whispers. “How—?”
“Bullies often pick on aspects that they’re either jealous of or things that they can relate to and yet
try to hide. I always knew that you didn’t actually have a problem with my sexuality, you were just
scared of the thought of people finding out about yours. Am I correct?”
“Well— yeah. I’m so sorry, Taehyung, I remember some of the things I said… and did… and they
were so stupid. It’s not justified by me being scared of people finding out about me being bisexual,
I had no right to use you to seem like a purely straight guy.” he rubs his eyes, guilt filling him up
whole. “I’m really fucking sorry, I can’t even begin to express my regret.”
“Don’t apologize, it’s been a long time.” Taehyung smiles. “I’m just happy and proud that you
came to terms with it and accepted that you’re a bisexual male.”
“Yeah. I am. I accept it, without a problem.” he nods. “Though it makes me feel worse. I go both
ways and still have no one.” Jungkook whines, a little forced to pair up with the joke, but Taehyung
knows that, deep down, he’s serious.
“Someone is out there destined to be with you, you just have to wait.” he scoffs. “Do you find my
words funny or do you just not agree with them?”
“Destiny isn’t a thing.” he says before sipping more from his hot coffee. It is indeed helping.
“I do believe it is, everyone has their lives written and planned out. Things happen for a reason, at
least I believe so.” Taehyung still says, linking his fingers together, wanting to see how far
Jungkook will go with the right push.
“That can’t be true. Some people are too nice to have heavy shit planned out for them, it doesn’t
feel right, I refuse to believe that she had it always planned out and—” he stops suddenly, eyes
going wide. “I said too much, I-I didn’t mean to say that, please ignore it, please.”
“You don’t have to go on.” Taehyung says but rushes to write down the small but important
information. Who is ‘she’ that Jungkook just referred to?
“Thank you. Forget that.” they fall silent for a few seconds, before Jungkook looks back up at him.
“What about you?” he asks. Taehyung tilts his head. “Do you have someone?” he takes a sip from
his coffee, eyes never leaving his therapist.
“Oh. Oh, I’m not supposed to talk about myself.” he smiles, waving a dismissive hand.
“I see a diamond ring, though.” Jungkook points out. “Or do you think you’re the only observant
one?” it’s a silent challenge that has Taehyung raising an eyebrow. That has never happened
before, his patients have never asked about his personal life.
“I do have a ring, you’re correct.” he nods. “I’m engaged, I’ve been for some months. The wedding
is getting closer.” Taehyung decides that he has no reason to hide it.
“Oh, shit, congrats.” Jungkook’s smile is so honest that it has Taehyung almost gasping. His
friends were not happy when he announced the engagement. He still doesn’t understand why.
“Thank you.” he smiles back.
“Are you happy?” Jungkook asks. “Are you happy with him?” Jungkook asks, his warm smile still
present. Taehyung looks away for a second. Of course he’s happy, what kind of question is even
that? It’s his fiancé, of course he’s happy.
“Yes, I am. But this isn’t about me. We’re here to talk about you.” he tries to turn it back to the
older man, but he only smiles more, shaking his head slowly, taking another sip from the coffee.
“Actually, Taehyung.” Jungkook starts. “You said I could talk about whatever I want in here when
I don’t want to share more. I shared I’m a lonely man and now I don’t want to share more. Now I
want to hear about you instead.” he smiles, a little lopsided around the cup and it makes it look
more like a charming — yet innocent — smirk than anything else.
“I’m not sup—”
“Yeah, but no one knows what we say in here. I don’t want to talk about my sad and miserable life
all the time, let me hear about your life, for a change. Please? Just tell me a story or something.”
Taehyung is silent for a second before nodding. It feels weird to be asked questions, he’s always
the one doing so.
No one’s ever wanted to listen to him, he feels like not even if his fiancé wants to and that’s why
he doesn’t share much. His stories aren’t that important, after all. “Ok, Jungkook, what story do
you want?” the other shrugs, sipping more from his coffee as he thinks.
Taehyung is waiting for a question related to his fiancé or friends, to be asked to tell a funny story
perhaps, but is only surprised when it doesn’t come. Instead, “Hm… why did you choose to be a
therapist?” and he blinks. Oh. It’s an actual question about him, no one else.
“I’ve always liked the thought of helping people. I’ve always liked to listen and to understand and
study people’s actions and thoughts. I observed you a lot when you made fun of me and you were
one of the biggest reasons as to why I chose to be a therapist.” he admits.
Jungkook’s mouth falls with utter shock. “How— Why?”
“Because… people like you need someone and don’t have the will or courage to look for help. I
mean, the you in high school. You are strong-minded enough now to face the fact that it’s ok to ask
for help, but you didn’t then and you allowed whatever demons you had, consume you, and I found
it… interesting to observe. I don’t think a lot of people looked at you beyond your looks and your
attitude, but I did, and it worried me a lot back then.” Jungkook looks away.
“Well… I’m glad that my shitty attitudes lead you to a successful life.” Taehyung giggles at that
and Jungkook’s shoulders feel immediately lighter at the sound. “What were the other reasons, if I
may ask? You said I was one of them.”
“Uh… my sister had… a very, very horrifying relationship and I vowed to help those who ever
went through the same.” Taehyung says with a quiet voice, not really wanting to go into it.
“I’m sorry to hear that.” Jungkook looks down.
“It’s alright, she’s doing great now.” Taehyung smiles and Jungkook does too, opening his mouth
to speak but is surprised when the alarm beats him to it. Taehyung’s surprised too.
“Time goes too quickly.” Jungkook frowns a little without even realizing. “I like talking here.”
“I’m glad that you do. I honestly thought that it would take you longer to adapt to this, to me and to
this environment, but you’re doing great.” the older man looks down with a quiet sigh.
“Did you think I was going to be mean again or something…? I’m not like that anymore, really. I
may be sad somet— most of the time, but I’m a nice person. I changed a lot.” Taehyung furrows
his eyebrows a little.
“No, I just had to think of the possibility of you not wanting to open up to me since we’re not
exactly strangers. But I’m happy that you’re able to.” and at that, Jungkook does smile. “Now, can
you walk properly or are you still drunk…?”
“I think I can. The coffee and the talk helped a lot.” Jungkook is quick on his feet to prove himself
right. “Thanks for not kicking me out for showing up like that, it probably doesn’t happen often.”
“Well… no, it doesn’t happen, but it’s ok, I understand that you had your reasons. As I told you,
I’m not going to judge you without knowing them first.”
“Thank you so much.” Jungkook whispers. “You’re so fucking understanding.
Taehyung smiles. “It’s the least I can do.”
│►
“What are you doing?” Taehyung’s head snaps up at the voice by the room’s door and shrugs a
little, hands grabbing the notepad a little harder.
“I’m looking through some work things.” he looks down at the name, eyebrows furrowing almost
immediately. He doesn’t have much information, yet it’s so captivating anyway.
“Didn’t we agree that you wouldn’t work at home?” Hyungsik’s tone is harsh as he sits down on
their bed next to Taehyung, snatching the notes from his hands. Taehyung’s eyes grow wide when
he sees his fiancé actually start to read what he has written down. “Who’s this? Jeon—”
“Hey, you can’t read that, it’s confidential.” Taehyung tries to grab his notes again but to no avail.
“Sik, you can’t— seriously give me that back, my patient’s information can’t just be shared like
this! They’re—”
“I read whatever the fuck I want, Taehyung. You’re my fiancé, I get to know who’s the guy that
you’re worrying about when you’re at home.” Taehyung’s jaw slacks with surprise.
“That’s— That doesn’t make any sense. At all. He’s my patient, just like all the others, I just
remembered something he said today and wanted to think for a little, you’re not being rational.”
“Taehyung, do I have to remind you that you can’t fucking talk to me like that?” he closes the
notes, throwing them to the floor. Taehyung’s wide eyes follow the moment, some pages of his
notes flying off and he feels a tug in his chest. That’s his work.
“For goodness sake…” Taehyung mumbles, rushing to get up to pick up every single page and to
make sure no patient’s notes got ripped. “This is my work, Sik, you can’t just throw it like that.”
“I can do whatever I want.” it’s the answer that comes anyways. “Come to bed right now, I have to
wake up early tomorrow and can’t have you making noise around the room.” Taehyung nods but
makes no move to stop fixing the pages. He for sure lets go of it when a hand takes a hold of his
wrist harshly to pull him into the mattress.
“Honey, I—”
“Sleep. Your patients are something that you worry about when you’re at work, not when you’re
at home with me, your fiancé.” Taehyung nods. He understands that he’s done wrong, but those are
his notes, his work, it’s not just some joke.
“Okay, I’m sorry. B-But don’t throw my work things away like that again… I have a lot of
important information there.” he whispers, yelping when Hyungsik’s hand comes to his jaw,
holding it in place for him to hold eye contact.
“If you ever come home thinking about some other guy again, I will throw the notes directly in the
trash. Do you understand?” it’s almost a whisper from how low it sounds and Taehyung’s eyes
grow bigger, frown intensifying.
“But I wasn’t—” the hand squeezes harder.
“I asked, do you understand?” Taehyung quickly nods, deciding that there’s no point in saying
Jungkook is no one to him; just a patient who he ended up thinking about due to his word choice
from earlier on in the day. “Good.”
The hand disappears and the lights are turned off before silence settles. Taehyung is still a little in
shock at the coldness in his fiancé’s voice, something he doesn’t recall ever experiencing.
“I love you.” Hyungsik says, rolling a little on the mattress to kiss Taehyung’s lips twice.
“I love you too.” he says through a smile, feeling immediately more relaxed and only
accommodates himself better under the sheets even when Hyungsik turns around, his back facing
him. He’s never allowed cuddles, he doesn’t like them.
So Taehyung has an extra pillow that he can just hug and then fall asleep peacefully, his fiancé
always says that cuddling the pillow is better anyways. And Taehyung believes him, not even once
thinking that maybe, just maybe, Hyungsik isn’t right about the things he says.
│►
Jungkook sighs, running a hand through his black hair – that he should start thinking about getting
trimmed – fumbling with the keys to open the door to his apartment. The apartment is silent as
always, given the fact that it’s always empty, but the sound of nails scraping the floor comes soon
after, Moon running towards him in quick steps.
“Hey, girl.” he says, bending down to pat her head, the dog excited to see him even though he only
left for roughly an hour. “What were you doing, hm?” Jungkook hangs the keys next to the door,
taking off his jacket. Moon barks, jumping up to rest her front paws on his stomach and Jungkook
chuckles, heading towards the room.
He frowns when he sees the door open, mentally scolding himself for leaving it like that, he
doesn’t want Moon in his room unsupervised, she always messes up the sheets and once even
destroyed a pillow completely. It was a mess to clean.
His eyes catch broken glass as soon as he gets in his room and he’s quick to turn the lights on,
halting when he realizes what she broke. “No…” Jungkook jogs to kneel next to the broken frame,
looking around to look for the picture. “Where is it?” he asks himself, tears already pooling in his
eyes. “Moon— get off.” Jungkook sniffs, pushing away the dog without even thinking about it.
She whines, sitting down next to the bed. Jungkook’s hands shake as he looks at the half-eaten
picture, the top part completely gone and the bottom half blurred with dog spit. Moon ducks her
head lower upon the realization that her owner is crying, but doesn’t step closer given Jungkook
just pushed her away.
“I can’t believe you did this—” he chokes up, closing his eyes for a long second with a hand
covering his mouth. That was the only thing. The only visual memory. Gone. He sniffs again,
reaching for the top drawer to take out the almost empty bottle of whiskey. Jungkook takes a big
sip with the ruined picture in his hand.
There are only three pairs of legs in the picture now. Jungkook’s in the middle and two shorter ones
by his sides. The important part, though, missing. An especially loud sob makes Moon get up and
jump in bed next to him, licking his cheeks almost apologetically. “Stop…” he leans away,
drinking a little more. “Why would you eat paper? You have food, this— fuck my life.”
Throwing the ruined picture to the floor, he gets up, whistling for her to follow. “Stay out. Go,
out.” he points to the living room, and Moon whines, leaving the room but looking back to see him
closing the door with a somewhat loud thud.
He feels bad right away. It’s a dog and they don’t understand, but he feels too broken to go back
and cheer for her to make sure that she’s not making those guilty puppy eyes.
Instead, he sits down on the mattress, his feet on the floor next to the broken glass, sipping yet
again from the bottle. It feels horrible. He feels almost empty by losing something as banal as a
picture. But again, that was the only thing he had that provided him visual memories.
That was the only thing that he could look at when his chest ached and when he felt alone.
And now, it’s gone. Destroyed.
Moon doesn’t understand her actions and Jungkook feels worse by the second, her whines still clear
coming from the outside, paws scratching at the door every so often. He sighs, grabbing the picture
before going back to open the door. She immediately jumps to him, tail wagging.
“Go to bed. I have to clean up.” he whispers, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as
whiskey trails down his chin.
When he thinks his life can't get worse, he’s always surprised.
It can get worse.
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 7 │►
Chapter Notes
Jungkook wakes up to the sound of his doorbell one too many times and his eyes shot open in
confusion. His back hurts from falling asleep on the floor after falling on his attempt to climb to the
bed but at least Moon made sure to be his pillow. She always knows how to aid him when he’s
drunk somewhere in his apartment.
She gets up as soon as there’s knocking instead of the doorbell, causing Jungkook’s head to fall to
the floor with a hard thud. “Oh, fuck.” he groans, taking a hand to the back of his head. He’s still
dressed, the bottle of whiskey on the floor next to him and he quickly puts it inside his drawer
before getting up to go to the door and see who’s daring to disturb him on a day off.
He can already hear his friend’s voice talking to Moon in a high-pitched tone as he inches closer to
the door, pulling it open right away. “Good morning.” Jungkook greets with a raspy voice, having
just woken up, watching Yoongi raise an eyebrow, most definitely judging him.
“Good morning? Sure, it’s past three in the afternoon.” Yoongi informs as he steps inside. “You
stink of alcohol. Go take a shower, I’ll make you some coffee for you to freshen up.” Jungkook
looks down with a sigh. His friends knowing about his drinking problems still doesn’t feel right to
him. He didn’t want them to know. They weren’t supposed to find out. Ever.
“Okay. I did buy coffee the other day so it’s in one of the cabinets.” Jungkook points, deciding he
doesn’t want to address, or acknowledge as it is, the fact that his friend can smell the alcohol all
over him. He must really stink of it for that to be possible.
“No sugar, right?” Yoongi asks.
“You know it.” if there’s anything he hates is sugar in his coffee. He enjoys it as strong and bitter
as possible, always has. “Thank you.”
“It’s alright. Now go take a shower and change clothes, I came here to check on you but I’ll be
going back home soon since I have some work to do. And also, you have to take Moon outside
otherwise she’s going to pee on the carpet again.” Yoongi reminds him.
“That’s true, I slept the whole morning, she probably wants to pee really bad.” he nods, jogging to
the bathroom so that he can get his shower done with as quickly as possible.
As soon as the hot water hits his skin, he closes his eyes, letting his head fall back with a quiet
exhale. His body feels tense from all the crying the night before, wanting nothing but to lay down
on his actual bed and forget about the back pain.
He remembers framing what’s left from the picture before drinking his weight in whiskey on the
couch. He doesn’t remember how he ended up on the floor of his bedroom. If he had to guess, then
he probably tried to leave the couch in the middle of the night and fell while attempting to get to
bed. It wouldn’t be the first time and knowing himself, wouldn’t be the last.
He grabs the luffa with body wash, trying to be as quick as possible, not only for Moon but also
because he can’t just afford high water bills. The bills already take almost half of what he gains
monthly and his addiction surely doesn’t help either.
Deciding that he can go a day without washing his hair, he turns off the water, rubbing his eyes to
try to soothe the dark bags under them. The towel is soon around his hips, a smaller one being used
to carefully pat his face and dry himself off.
Jungkook stops in front of the mirror to look at himself, nodding ever so slowly at the reflection he
sees staring right back at him. His hair is getting a little too long but he likes it, maybe he’ll cut it
some other time. His body is still nice, even though he can’t go to the gym, and he does like his
reflection. Only upsets him that such a nice exterior belongs to a huge failure like himself.
With a last sigh, he leaves the bathroom, Moon immediately running towards him even though she
was just keeping Yoongi company. “Hey, baby.” he pats her head, smiling without showing his
teeth. “Go to Yoongi, daddy’s still mad at you.” Jungkook says but still holds the door open for a
second longer so that she can get in. “We’re going to the park, alright? I’ll just have some coffee
and then we’ll go. I know you like the park.”
Moon barks at the mention, jumping to the bed while her owner looks through his clothes. A
simple tee shirt and jeans are always his go-to and that’s exactly what he chooses, paired with
some boots that he saved money for months to buy. He keeps them safely away from the dog.
“Kooks! Coffee will get cold.” he hears from the kitchen and so he quickly ties up his shoelaces
before heading out, making sure to close the door so Moon can’t eat what’s left of the picture.
“I’m here.” Jungkook says, already opening the fridge. “No sugar, right?”
“Of course.” Yoongi nods, taking a sip of his own but chokes slightly as his best friend takes a
whiskey bottle from the fridge. “What are you—”
“No comments, please.” he mumbles, adding some of the liquid into the coffee, the mug filling up
almost to the brim. “Do you want to come for dinner?”
“Kooks, you shouldn’t—” the glare he’s faced with makes him shut up immediately and so he
sighs, defeated. “Okay… yeah, yeah, I can come for dinner. I’ll bring groceries.”
“You don’t have to, just bring takeout.” Yoongi nods even though he knows he will buy groceries
anyway and fill up the cabinets enough for his best friend to have food for a few days. He’ll never
not look after Jungkook, even if the latter doesn’t like being helped.
“I’ll bring Seokjin as well.” Jungkook nods, taking a long sip from his coffee. The taste of the
whiskey almost overpowers the coffee itself, but he’s already used to it, can’t even fathom having
his morning coffee without whiskey. “You really shouldn’t be drinking that…”
“It’s just coffee. Don’t worry about it. I have to take Moon to the park, you can go if you want.”
“Alright. I’ll be back in a few hours. Take care, Kooks. Take care of yourself, ok?” Jungkook nods.
He only nods.
│►
“…so then I told him the only way to make me be the one proposing is if we become thirty before
it happens. And now I regret saying that because I feel like he’ll just wait until we’re thirty so that
I’m forced to propose.” Jimin huffs, drinking the last bit of soda in his cup.
“You two are so annoying.” Taehyung giggles. “You’ve been together for years, everyone knows
that you will continue to be together, most likely forever, so why can’t one of you just get down to
one knee?” he rests his chin on his palm, smiling.
“Because we both want to be proposed to.” Jimin whines. “We’ve talked about just agreeing that
we’re engaged and put a ring on each other’s fingers but that would ruin the surprise factor... this
sucks, seriously.”
“Not all proposals have to be a surprise.” he shrugs. “Sik just gave me the ring and said we should
get married, there wasn’t a huge surprise…”
“Well, Taehyungie, Hobi and I like to keep the romance even though we’ve been together since
high school. It keeps the flame lit, you know?” Jimin smiles. “And I want to hear what he has to
say while proposing. Hyungsik didn’t even make a damn speech and that’s so lame.”
“It’s not lame…!” he tries to defend himself but his best friend just chuckles.
“It’s pretty lame, Tae.” Jimin says. “Anything interesting at work today?”
“Actually…” Taehyung starts, looking down at his drink. “There’s a new patient that I’m seeing,
she’s pretty young but really nice and mature. Also, Jungkook’s thoughts are so fascinating. He
didn’t have a session today but I read his notes during one of my breaks and I got pulled in yet
again. He’s so smart and it translates into the way he speaks, it’s so… interesting.”
“I remember him being smart in high school. It’s not a surprise he’s still intelligent.” Jimin
chuckles. “Why is he there?” he asks with an uninterested expression but focused eyes.
“You know I can’t tell you. Just know he’s really changed, he’s not… an idiot anymore.” his best
friend just hums, pouting his lips a little bit. “What is it?”
“I’m just afraid that he may end up being mean to you again, you already have that fuck face at
home.” he mumbles the ending, making Taehyung frown. “I just want you happy, Tae.”
“And I am happy, Minnie. I have Sik, and you, and Hobi, Namjoon, my other friends… I’m happy.
I am, really.” he smiles, intertwining their fingers on top of the table.
“I believe so...” Jimin sighs. Taehyung may think that he’s happy, but Jimin knows better. That’s
not happiness. “I’m glad, you’re my best friend after all.” Jimin pouts, squeezing their hands
together. “Anyway, I have to meet my mom, do you want to tag along?”
“No, no, I can’t. Sik told me to be home at five since it’s Saturday.” Jimin opens his mouth but
closes it with a sigh, looking down at the table. “And I’m walking home so I should get going.”
“Would you like me to drive you?” he offers.
Taehyung shakes his head quickly. “I want to walk, I have to pass the park on my way there and
fresh air is always nice… I enjoy it quite a lot. There are also puppies, so I get to pet some.”
“Okay, then.” Jimin smiles as they both get up, leaving a couple of bills on the table. “Call me
later, will you? I want to talk to you and Hobi about something that I’m planning and so I’ll only
have to say it once if you call me…”
“Alright. I’ll call you.”
│►
Jungkook sits down on the first bench he finds, Moon running away from him into the park. She
knows not to go too far and also knows how to come back immediately if called so Jungkook
allows her to run freely for a bit every time.
He looks around, the other benches filled with parents waiting for their kids, those who scream in
joy at the small children's park. Jungkook, being a big fan of kids himself, has a little smile on his
face as he watches them run around; some even petting Moon, who he trusts completely and knows
won’t hurt any of them.
He sighs. It’s a long sigh. He feels tired, his mind still a little foggy from all the crying he did the
night before and he knows he probably looks terrible to be out in the daylight but Moon needed it.
“Can I sit— Oh, my God, Jungkook. Hi.” he turns his head to the side at the familiar voice and
immediately opens a smile, scooting to the side to allow the younger one to sit down. “What a
coincidence, I didn’t notice that it was you.”
“Hey.” Jungkook says then, voice a little rough. “Enjoying the sun?” he asks, looking at the
younger with the same warm eyes he always seems to have when directed at him.
“You could say so, yeah. I was walking home and wanted to sit down for a little bit.” Taehyung
shrugs. “What about you? Are you enjoying the sun?”
“Walking my dog.” he lifts his hand a little, the one holding the leash and Taehyung nods before
looking up at him again. Jungkook almost shies away from the heavy gaze.
“You look… not to say terrible, but beaten up.” Taehyung comments, making him chuckle. “Are
you alright?” Jungkook looks away to make sure the dog isn’t disturbing anyone before looking
back at Taehyung with a shrug. He doesn’t know whether to lie or not.
“I am, yeah.” he nods to himself. “Rough night, I guess.” Jungkook chuckles to lighten the mood
but the smile that Taehyung gives him is a very concerned one. “Don’t give me that look.”
“I’m just thinking.” Taehyung giggles. “Can I ask what happened?” Jungkook’s smile falters a
little, looking up at the younger. “I know something happened and that you’re lying when you say
that you’re alright. Don’t forget that I can read people really well…” he tries to say as less
overwhelmingly as possible, but he recognizes that it may still be a little nonetheless.
“I don’t— I don’t want to take your time.” Taehyung is quick to wave a dismissive hand but
Jungkook can’t possibly take it. “Seriously, someone canceled so I was able to get a consultation
with you on Monday, I don’t want to take over your off time.”
“Then I’m not asking as your therapist.” Jungkook goes silent, eyes still a little shaky, showing just
how conflicted he’s feeling on the inside. “You don’t have to tell me, obviously, you know that,
I’m just asking because I’m worried… the bags under your eyes make it look like you haven’t been
able to sleep for a whole straight week. I am concerned.”
“Moon…” Jungkook sighs, rubbing his eyes. “Moon destroyed something last night while I was
out. It was extremely important to me and… well, I fucking cried my eyes out. It’s no surprise that
I look like absolute shit.” he chuckles again but this time Taehyung doesn’t even smile.
“What was it?” it’s almost a whisper, a careful one at that. He doesn’t want to press too hard,
doesn’t want to ask too much and end up pushing too far. He doesn’t want Jungkook’s trust to take
steps back, they’re already on a good path.
“Just a picture…” a few seconds of silence go by before he decides to speak again. “Taehyung,
you’re— you’re a doctor, right?” he asks, eyes hopeful.
“In a way, yes... but not really. Why?” there’s a small chuckle paired up with his words and
Jungkook turns to him completely, hands clasped together on his lap.
“Is it possible to completely forget someone’s face?” Jungkook asks, eyes filled with something
else apart from hope; it looks like sadness. “It’s— It’s not, right?”
“Well…” Taehyung starts with a little sad smile. “It is, yes. To learn and store more information,
your mind forgets little things that aren’t very important. They say learning doesn’t take space but
that’s not entirely true. You automatically and inconspicuously delete what your brain deems as
useless in order to learn more and store more.”
“But it’s important. A lot. It’s not useless at all.” Jungkook rushes to say. “Does that change it?”
“Faces are easy to forget, I’m sorry to say. You don’t remember every detail of everyone you’ve
seen in the past and that’s because our minds doom that kind of thing as not very important. If you
go for a long time without seeing someone, you will end up forgetting about their face with time.
Maybe not even everything but some of the details, if not the biggest ones...” Jungkook looks
away, chest tightening up. “Who are you so afraid of forgetting?” he asks.
“Those in the picture.” a gulp. “I’m sorry, it’s your free time and I’m not only taking up your time
but I’m also making the mood all sad, I’m really sorry.”
“I don’t mind, I like helping.” Taehyung gives him a reassuring smile and Jungkook tries his best
to mirror it, even if it perfectly shows just how distressed he is. “However, if you do want to make
the mood lighter, could I be blessed with the opportunity to meet the Moon I’ve heard so much
about?” Jungkook’s smile opens up impossibly more, turning into a genuine one.
“Of course.” he turns to the front, whistling. “Moon!” Jungkook raises his voice a little, whistling
again. Soon enough, a large dog is running towards them with her tongue out and tail wagging
happily. Her fur is a golden mixture of white and brown, long but not too long and it looks very
well taken care of; Jungkook must brush her every day, if not multiple times.
“Oh my God, she’s huge! She’s so much bigger than I had imagined.” Taehyung says with a
giggle, offering his hand out for her to sniff before petting her head. “She’s so cute, oh God, so
cute.”
“She is, isn’t she?” Jungkook watches with a smile as Moon happily accepts Taehyung’s pets,
licking his hands and even placing her front paws on the younger’s knees. Taehyung realizes
quickly enough just how energetic Moon is and it makes his heart swell a little. He wishes he
could have a dog as well. Perhaps a smaller one, though.
“I want to make a suggestion, if that’s ok with you.” Taehyung says after some time, Moon still
trying to lick at his face, succeeding a couple of times, which only punches a few giggles out of
him. Jungkook’s just as entertained as he is himself.
“Yeah, s— Moon, sit down.” he frowns, pointing with his finger but the dog makes no move to get
away from the younger man, too distracted by the new friend to pay attention to the command.
“Moon, daddy’s going to be upset. Sit down.” and she does so with a little whine.
“You call yourself daddy?” it comes with a raise of the eyebrow. “I mean—”
“Listen—! It’s a dog, don’t make it weird!” Jungkook laughs and it’s a bright sound, Taehyung
joining right away. Moon barks, causing them to come to a stop, quiet giggles remaining. “What
was the suggestion you were talking about? What is it for?”
“I want you to try something.” Jungkook tilts his head, confused but curious. “Drink chamomile tea
and try to do some meditation for thirty minutes before bed. And then bed. With no whiskey, that
is.” a few seconds of silence go by before Jungkook even attempts to speak. He sighs.
“Taehyung, I— I can’t, it won’t work, I’m too scared to just fall asleep with some tea.” Taehyung
nods ever so slowly. He understands, but he can’t take a no that easily.
“You don’t have to do anything, it is your decision after all. It was just a thought…” Jungkook
sighs, rubbing his tired eyes. Taehyung realizes his mistake then; Sik has warned him once not to
insist when told no, he should know better. “I’m sorry for suggesting, I didn’t— I don’t— I—”
However, “Don’t apologize, please. I can try, but I already know that it won’t do any good. It’s
nice of you to try to find a solution, I mean it, thank you so much, I appreciate it dearly… It’s just
that… it’s been so, so fucking long that I don’t even know how to have hope anymore.” he
whispers the last part, a little embarrassed. “I don’t know how to expect good things.”
“Well… how about you try and we can talk about it on Monday?” Taehyung smiles. “If you don’t
want to do it, then you don’t have to, it’s ok and absolutely up to you. I just thought we could try to
start finding ways to battle your addiction because we may find a method that works.”
“I’ll do it, I can’t just let a possible solution pass, right?” he smiles as well, ignoring the slight
panic inside his chest at the thought of any dream coming back. He hasn’t had any in a long time
but that’s just because he turns to the drinks, if he doesn’t, he knows the dreams will come back.
“That’s great, you—” Taehyung’s watch makes a beeping sound, signaling the start of a new hour
and his eyes go wide. It’s five. “Oh, crap.” he lets out before he can stop himself.
“What’s wrong?” Jungkook watches as Taehyung gets up in a hurry, fixing his jacket. “Are you
late for something?”
“Yeah.” he smiles, nonetheless, making sure that he has everything. “I have to go. Do try it so that
I can know all about it on Monday. It was nice meeting you, little girl.” he says to Moon, petting
her head again. She sits up right away.
“I will.” Jungkook nods. “Don’t rush too much, these streets are bad to cross, you may get hurt,
please be careful.” he points out and Taehyung nods with a smile.
“Yeah, I know, thank you. Take care, alright?” Jungkook smiles back as they bow to each other,
watching quietly as his therapist walks away.
“Now you.” he goes back to the animal looking up at him. “Can we go home? Did you run
enough?” she licks his hand when he offers it and Jungkook chuckles. “We have to go buy tea first
so let’s get going...”
│►
Taehyung opens the door to the apartment slowly, taking his shoes off with little to no sound at all.
The apartment is quiet and he wonders if his fiancé will scream at him for not being home on time.
He deserves to be yelled at, after all. He had a request to be home at five and still, despite knowing
it, he wasn’t responsible enough to do so.
Taehyung’s eyes grow wider when he hears the faint sound of the shower and so he steps closer,
smiling. He takes his jacket off in a hurry, tiptoeing to the bedroom as he opens his pants so that he
can discard them and change into a pair of loose shorts.
He does so as quickly as possible, sitting down in bed when he hears the door to the bathroom
opening, being fast enough to grab a book. “Hey.” he smiles. Hyungsik raises an eyebrow, a towel
hanging above his hips. “Did you enjoy your shower, honey?”
“Why weren’t you home when I told you to?” Hyungsik asks, completely dodging Taehyung’s
question. “I gave you one thing to do. One, Taehyung. You really can’t do shit, can you?”
“I was home ten minutes before five. Did you not see me in the balcony? I was reading this book
there before I came inside...” Taehyung says with a nervous smile, watching as his fiancé steps
closer. There’s a hand on his jaw in the next second, holding it hard enough to hurt.
Their eyes are connected, Taehyung completely silent, only to yelp in surprise when the hand
disappears only to be back in a much harsher way. His face turns to the side, fingers immediately
cupping the now sore skin. He can’t believe what just happened, it’s hard to process.
“Why are you lying?” he asks, grabbing his jaw again. “You know I hate lies, Taehyung.”
“I-I got carried away with Jiminie. I’m sorry. I ran home, I did, I promise.” Hyungsik smiles then, a
cynical smile as he rests his hand on top of Taehyung’s fingers that urge the blonde to drop his
own. Hyungsik’s thumb runs over the reddening skin.
“Is it hard to tell the truth?” Taehyung immediately shakes his head. “Then why didn’t you?” he
gulps, only to be reassured by the sweet – read, wicked – smile on his fiancé’s lips.
“I didn’t want to disappoint you.” he whispers, voice wavering a little.
“You do it either way.” Hyungsik finally lets go of Taehyung’s jaw, the blonde letting out an
exhale he didn’t even know he was holding. “I won’t be having dinner at home. Don’t wait up for
me, I don’t know at what time I’ll be returning.”
“Where… Where are you going?” his fiancé turns to him with a pointed look and Taehyung
smiles. “Sorry, it’s none of my business, enjoy your dinner. I hope you have fun.”
“I will.” it’s silent after that and Taehyung looks down at the book while his fiancé gets ready for
dinner, with whoever it might be. Business dinner, Taehyung guesses.
His mind goes back to the park, Moon coming into his thoughts. All energetic and Taehyung finds
himself pouting. “Sik…?” he calls. “Can we get a dog? Just a small one? It could keep me
company since you’re out a lot… I could use some—”
“Nonsense, Taehyung. You know that I don’t like dogs.” Taehyung nods. That’s true, he shouldn’t
have suggested such a thing. “We will have guests joining tomorrow. Two very important men will
be joining us for lunch so you better wake up early and cook to perfection.” Taehyung blinks.
“Okay. I’ll do so, don’t you worry.” they don’t usually receive guests on the weekend and even
when they do, Hyungsik never really wants Taehyung to be present. It’s a nice change, he believes,
Hyungsik finally wants him to be there with his business partners.
“I’ll be going now.” Hyungsik steps closer, still fixing his suit. “You know that I love you, don’t
do anything that I wouldn’t advise you to do.” Taehyung nods, accepting the kisses he’s gifted
with.
“I love you too, have fun.” Taehyung smiles as his fiancé leaves, two fingers on top of his lips.
They don’t kiss that often, Taehyung assumes that’s something that becomes less frequent with
time, so it’s always really good when he gets a kiss, especially when so spontaneously.
With a dreamy sigh, he flips the page on the book, actually interested to continue.
│►
Jungkook puts the empty mug down, sitting on the bed with his legs crossed. He’s searched how to
meditate, having no idea of how that works, and has followed exactly every single step that the
website suggested. Ambient music and a scented candle he’s owned for years but never once lit. It
smells like strawberries. He sighs, closing his eyes.
The apartment is everything but silent. He can hear the neighbors chatting even if not clearly, can
hear the cars and the agitation on the outside. He can also hear Moon running around the living
room with one of her toys.
It’s frustrating, so he leans to the computer to turn the sound up a little bit. Another sigh, hands
resting on his knees. Right. Empty mind. Right.
How is that supposed to work? “You can do this, just relax.” he tells himself, breathing in and out
slowly and doing his absolute best to keep his thoughts away.
Empty mind. Empty mind. Empty mind. Empty m— if he starts to buy another brand of whiskey,
he could save about— “No. No whiskey. Focus.” Jungkook whines to himself. “Just don’t think of
anything.” he tries again, focusing on his breathing, in and out, slowly.
And it does work, he’s able to clear his mind for a little, though sometimes random things creep up
in his brain. He tries his hardest to push it all away.
The thirty minutes pass way too slowly and he starts to feel anxious with the thought of sleeping
without being completely out of his mind. However, he promised Taehyung that he would try and
he has done the first two parts already. Besides, he doesn’t like breaking promises.
Jungkook places the computer on the floor and lays down after blowing the candle out.
He hugs his pillow and closes his eyes.
He feels extremely tired, he knows that he will be able to fall asleep if he stays quiet for a while but
he can’t help but feel scared. He doesn’t remember feeling like that. Anxious. Still, he inhales
slowly, accommodating himself better on the uncomfortable mattress to be able to relax his mind
enough to fall asleep.
He’s afraid that something may happen. He has no hope. He knows his mind is messed up, but
maybe, just maybe, it could work. That’s the only thing that helps him stay still and actually try to
sleep. And he manages to do so about an hour later, lips curved down in discontentment.
The room is silent for about two hours.
But then his murmurs start.
“Mom… don’t—” Jungkook tries but stops at the pleading eyes he’s met with.
“Keep your sister away, go to your room.” she asks, kissing his forehead and pushing him
carefully by the shoulders so that he’ll go, move, but he can’t seem to do it. They can both hear
things breaking in the living room and his eyes sting with heavy, worried tears.
“But—” another loud crash and she’s forcing a smile as she pushes him again, closing the door on
him. Jungkook flinches, not knowing what to do. He locks the door as he was taught to. His only
mission, the one he cannot fail by any means, is to protect his sister, so he has to be strong.
“K-Kookie?” he quickly wipes his tears, turning back towards the voice. “Kookie?” she calls
again with a scared sniff. “I-I’m scared.” Jungkook can feel his heart break beyond fix.
“There’s nothing to be scared of, Kookie’s here.” he smiles through his tears, rushing to her and
sitting down by her side. “Let’s do that thing I taught you, ok? Can you do it for me? Hm?”
“Okay…” she sits down on his lap, allowing him to cover her ears, pressing enough to block the
sounds from the living room. His sister sings a low melody she’s learned from him as he rests his
chin on top of her head, closing his eyes tightly.
He can’t cover his own ears and much less can stop the sob that leaves his lips at the screams he
can hear from the living room. She’s far more important and, if he can help her at all, he will.
“Mom…” Jungkook whispers when something falls and he shrinks down against his sister,
sobbing again. She’s distracted with the song she’s singing and she can’t hear with his hands
covering her ears, but he can hear everything. Every single word screamed, everything. ”Mom…”
“Mom…. Mo—” Jungkook sits up with his eyes blown wide, a thin layer of sweat all over his body
and thick tears running down his cheeks. “Fuck.” he runs a hand through his hair, wet with sweat,
inhaling sharply. Of course it didn’t work.
The images don’t leave his mind and he hugs himself, being almost able to feel the smaller body
on his lap. That makes him close his eyes even tighter, a small cry escaping his mouth before he
even has the chance to try and stop it.
There’s scrapping on his door almost immediately and so he sniffs, wiping his runny nose on the
back of his hand before getting up to open the door to the only company that he knows he can
always count on. That and the bottles of whiskey.
He takes one out as soon as he gets to the bed.
“I’m sorry.” Jungkook says into thin air, for no one in particular. “I tried.”
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 8 │►
Chapter Notes
WARNING: there's a scene in this update where the acts could be considered (they
pretty much are) assault. It's not in the tags because it's a one time thing and it's brief,
so I'm adding this disclaimer here, please be aware of it. It's during the lunch at the
start and you can skip it if you prefer to, you won't be missing anything from the story
((:
Taehyung finishes rolling up his sleeves up to his elbows, looking at himself in the mirror. His hair
is wavy as always, a little puffy to give it some life and two dangling earrings decorate his left ear,
framing his face in just the right way.
His makeup is basic, just a little bit of blush and some mascara with a small addition of lip balm to
make his lips look a little shinier. He smiles. He looks nice, presentable. He has never been present
in any meal with Hyungsik’s coworkers, at least that’s who he thinks the men will be, so he feels
good and did try his best to look nice.
The door to the room opens and he turns to his fiancé with a smile. Hyungsik always looks good,
it’s no surprise to see him all polished. His suits are always fixed to perfection and his hair styled
with enough gel to make sure that it doesn’t end up falling all over.
“You look handsome.” Taehyung compliments, fixing his fiancé collar despite it already looking
impeccable. Hyungsik leans away from his touch, unwilling to have his suit messed up somehow.
“You could’ve tried a little more.” he says with a clipped tone, spraying some cologne on his neck.
Taehyung almost winces at the words. “They’ll be here any second and we have to set something
straight, alright?” Hyungsik starts, looking at him through the mirror.
“What is it, honey?” Taehyung asks without even questioning his fiancé’s statement. He knows he
could’ve done more, he doesn’t exactly consider himself a handsome man but he knows that he’s
able to look nice if he tries hard enough. He’ll just have to do better next time.
“Under no circumstance will you say something about us being together. This is a business
meeting and we will be talking business. I don’t want you to speak unless a question is directed to
you and, even if it happens, I want short answers, understood? None about you and I.”
“Yes. I already knew that I would be asked this, I don’t know anything about the company so I
figured you wouldn’t want me commenting.” Taehyung smiles, stepping closer to fix Hyungsik’s
collar again, to touch just for the sake of it, but his hands are pushed away with little to no care.
“Don’t touch it, you might mess it up.” he says then. The doorbell rings through the apartment and
they both share a knowing look. “Let’s go.” Taehyung is quick on his feet, rushing to grab the pans
and take them to the dining room. The table is set perfectly according to Hyungsik’s instructions
and Taehyung cooked everything he was asked to. He enjoys cooking.
He’s proud of the result and even more when the two visitors say that the food smells delightfully.
Taehyung greets them with a smile and a bow, just like how his fiancé told him to do in situations
like those and serves just the right amount of food to those sitting at the table.
Taehyung sits himself at the ending of the table, his fiancé on the other end as the two men sit in
front of each other. He’s quiet, a little more distant from them given the size of the table. But he
doesn’t mind, he’s supposed to stay quiet, after all.
He can hear them talking about something related to the company and he doesn’t understand it
very well since Hyungsik doesn’t share anything about work. And it’s ok since he also can’t share
things about work either. Not that Hyungsik ever asked, but still.
“And you, Taehyung, what do you do?” he tilts his head up at the mention of his name and he
briefly glances at his fiancé, as if asking if it’s ok to answer. Hyungsik only gives a short nod.
“I’m a therapist.” Taehyung says with a smile. He’s very proud of his accomplishments.
“Oh.” the three of them share a chuckle that he doesn’t quite understand. “So nothing important, I
see. I suppose it’s… entertaining enough.” Taehyung’s mouth hangs open. Nothing important? It’s
his job, his career. He studied for that, he worked hard to prove that he deserves to be at the clinic
he is. How can they say it’s nothing?
He does understand in some way. He’s not a businessman like them. They all control a company
and Taehyung is just… there. He’s not important. It still makes him sigh.
“We should all go on a trip at the end of the year, a company trip to relax our minds from all the
work we have been doing.” one of the men says, wiping his lips with the napkin before placing it
back on his lap.
“Without our wives, I hope.” Hyungsik says, causing them to share a laugh. Taehyung stays silent,
finding it a little rudely worded. He’s not a wife, anyway. “Going alone.” oh.
“That sounds a lot better than going with my insufferable wife.” another one agrees. “It’s good that
we can always say it’s a business trip and they don’t even know.” Taehyung furrows his eyebrows
as the three of them laugh yet again. He doesn’t like the thought of that.
At least Hyungsik didn’t lie to him. Poor wives.
He remains silent for the rest of their meal, trying not the even listen to their conversation as he
feels as though he’s intruding. Hyungsik doesn’t want him involved with his work, to begin with,
so he does his best to stay out of it.
Only does he look up when he’s called. “Taehyung, takes the plates and leave us to talk, will you?”
Hyungsik says and when Taehyung meets his eyes, he quickly understands it wasn’t exactly a
question. He doesn’t mind it either way, he kind of wants to get out of there.
“Of course.” he smiles, getting up. He collects his own plate and moves closer to gather the things
from the other three and that’s when he feels a hand on his leg. He looks down immediately, eyes
widening at the fact that it’s not Hyungsik’s.
Taehyung takes a step back right away, looking at his fiancé with pleading eyes. He doesn’t know
if he can just speak, he doesn’t want to start a fight, especially given they’re work partners. He was
told not to speak unless he was called or asked a question.
Hyungsik’s eyes are harsh and his jaw is set and those are enough signals for Taehyung to know to
keep quiet. So he does, doing his best to ignore the hand when it returns, this time on the inside of
his thigh and quickly grabs the plates.
He bows, leaving with his heart beating far too quickly.
“Your cook is surprisingly young, gorgeous too.” the man says, looking at his fingers with a little
smirk. “He has pretty good legs, I must say.”
“You allow him to sit at the table? You must be close.” the other comments and Hyungsik
chuckles lightly.
“I guess, a little.” he shakes his head. “He sits at the table just because he has more… duties other
than cooking. He’s my servant, pretty much.” a cocky shrug follows his words suit.
“Oh? Is he now?” the first one asks with an eyebrow raised. “What kind of duties?”
“He cooks and cleans and keeps the apartment presentable. He also satisfies me when I want, if
you understand what I mean. That’s his place, even if he’s not the greatest at any of those things…
but I have him under my wing and now I feel like I must keep him.” he grabs his glass of water,
taking a big sip.
“He satisfies you? His paycheck must be high.” they all share a laugh, Hyungsik looking at his
empty finger; the engagement ring left in the room.
“I have to say, I’ve never tried a pretty boy.” Hyungsik’s grip on the glass tightens, possessiveness
crippling through his veins.
“Well, I know Taehyung wouldn’t want it. He fell for me some time back.” he says with a fake
smile. “It’s sad, he doesn’t get the hint that I don’t want him but he still doesn’t give up. So don’t
even try, he’s not interested in anyone else.”
“Oh, that’s a bummer.” the man tsks.
“Yes, it is. Now, let’s talk business, shall we?”
│►
The laughs die slowly and soon the three of them are focused on just eating. Soon enough, Yoongi
breaks the silence again by turning to his dearest friend with a little smile. “How’s therapy going?”
it’s a simple question that makes Jungkook gulp down his mouthful of food almost all at the same
time out of pure nerves. It’s out of luck that he doesn’t choke on it.
“It’s going well. Taehyung is… really understanding.” he smiles too, not wanting to go into details.
“I share a little each time and— yeah, I have to build up some trust first.” Seokjin sighs, putting his
chopsticks down. Jungkook gives him a questioning look.
“I don’t understand why you can’t just freaking open up already. The time you probably waste
there in either silence or not talking about what you should be talking about makes me want to
scream in frustration.” Jungkook looks beyond taken aback. “You’re getting therapy to—”
“Hey, if the therapist himself said that he can and should share at his own pace, why are you
pushing him?” Yoongi interrupts when he sees Jungkook’s shoulders slumping down at what
Seokjin was just starting to rant about.
“But he has gone there so many times already and didn’t even want comments on how he’s an
alcoholic.” the word hits Jungkook like a punch. Neither of them seems to notice how his face
crumbles. “He’s our best friend, we have to make sure this thing works, it’s for the best, Yoongi.”
“If Taehyung didn’t comment on the fact that Jungkook has a drinking problem, then maybe it’s
because it’s better that way. You don’t know what happens during their meetings, you can’t just
talk like this as if you are there with them to see. I understand that he has to build up some trust
first, they’re strangers.” Yoongi defends.
“They’re not strangers, though. Jungkook used to bully the guy, remember? They know each other,
it should be easier.” the young man tunes out, fists closing in tight balls.
An alcoholic and a bully.
That’s him.
“Opening up and trusting new people is hard and it’s ok to take some time, it’s the way things
happen. You can’t expect someone to go to therapy two or three times and let everything out on the
doctor right away.” Yoongi says, voice a little louder. Jungkook shrinks down even more.
He hates when people yell. He hates fights.
It’s something he’s been around way too much.
He hates it, despises it.
“But he’s going to continue in the same shitty situation if he doesn’t—” Seokjin’s voice is even
louder than Yoongi’s and Jungkook drags his chair back, getting up.
“This is why I didn’t want you involved. You’re making everything even worse.” their jaws drop a
little, opening their mouths to rush to say something but Jungkook beats them to it. “Don’t bother
picking me up tomorrow for therapy.” he tells Seokjin before walking away.
They both call after him but he’s out of the apartment before they even know it. Yoongi sighs,
rubbing his eyes. “You fucked up big time. You really don’t know when to shut up, do you?”
“You can’t possibly tell me that I’m wrong about this.”
“You’re wrong.” Seokjin rolls his eyes. “You’re pressuring him with things that we weren’t even
supposed to know… also calling him an alcoholic was a stupid move, did you see his eyes? He
was close to tears, how can you not feel horrible right now?” he continues.
“What is it called when someone gets drunk every day and isn’t able to stop himself from drinking
and drinking and drinking?” Yoongi goes silent. “I thought so too.”
“We don’t know why he does it, though. We don’t know basically anything about him, how can
you try to comment on his habits?” Seokjin rolls his eyes with a sigh. “Do you even know why
does he live alone? Why doesn’t he meet his parents? I have no fucking idea, do you?” he remains
quiet. “Then stop judging him over things that we don’t understand.”
“We know he doesn’t talk to his parents, it’s not that hard to pick that up, Yoongs.”
“Yeah, and why doesn’t he? Judge him again and I’ll smack you, seriously. We don’t know what
happened or what happens in his life, he doesn’t like sharing, what could possibly make you think
that he’d trust Dr. Kim this fast?” Yoongi tsks.
“I stand by my points. He won’t evolve if he doesn’t try to. He’s not willing nor letting himself get
better. He’s not trying. And that clinic is expensive as hell—”
“If you’re so worried about the money, I can pay for it by myself. Don’t ruin his progress just
because you don’t—” Seokjin is quick to interrupt.
“Money isn’t the problem, I was going to say that if it’s the most expensive clinic here then it’s
because it’s worth it, it’s because it’s highly professional, but it still won’t work if he doesn’t even
try. He has to try, he’s the only one that can make this work.” Yoongi rolls his eyes.
“I’m done with this conversation and with you. Change topics, please, before I leave too.”
│►
“Thank you, have a nice day.” Jungkook smiles as the customer takes the bag and wishes him a
nice day as well before walking away. Jungkook’s smile is long gone immediately. He’s mastered
the customer service smile even when he has no reasons to be happy at all.
“What’s wrong?” Yugyeom asks when Jungkook lets out a long sigh. “Boss told me that you’d be
leaving early today, aren’t you going?” Jungkook looks at him before forcing out another smile.
“No, I don’t uh, I don’t feel like going. To where I had to go, that is.” Yugyeom nods, going back
to his hidden phone. “I’ll be right back.” Jungkook informs as he makes his way to the workers’
room, opening his locker in one swift move. He grabs the bottle, taking out the cap as quickly as
possible. One sip. Two sips. Three are enough.
For now, at least.
Jungkook wipes his lips with the back of his hand, resting his forehead against the cold metal of
the locker. He’s missing his therapy session and he wonders if all the calls he got were from the
clinic. He didn’t even grab the phone to see the caller.
He simply turned the device off so that it’d stop bothering him.
Seokjin’s words are still lingering in his mind, the fact that he was so easily called a bully even by
someone who isn’t aware of how things happened. If Seokjin thinks that, then Taehyung does too.
There’s no way he doesn’t. There’s no way that he actually doesn’t hold grudges.
He was stupid to think someone would seriously think highly of him. Beyond stupid.
He’s a failure and only proved that further by failing at the one single thing that Taehyung asked
him to try. Nothing will ever work for him. Not talking, not therapy, he’ll always be the man
struggling with money, who’s behind on three months of rent because sometimes he buys too much
booze and ends up shooting his own foot.
Consequently, he’ll always work at this place that stinks of gasoline and cleaning detergent. He
hates it. He just wants to be someone, have a nice bed and a full stomach of food at the end of the
day. A job that he likes. Someone to hold, maybe.
It’s too much to ask for, he knows. He’s being far too greedy.
His train of thoughts is interrupted by steps coming closer so he sniffs, wiping his eyes even though
they hold no tears and closes the locker so that Yugyeom — or his boss — doesn’t see the hidden
alcohol that he keeps for when he feels any sort of stress.
“Can I ask you something?” his coworker asks and he turns back with a smile, eyes a little red, but
nods. “Have you ever considered therapy? And don’t hate me for this, I know that we’re not
exactly… friends, but we’re buddies, we’ve been working together for a long time and I worry
about you. You always look down, even if you’re always covering it up with jokes or that smile
that you have on right now… I just thought that maybe it would be good for you.”
Jungkook sighs, turning to him completely. “I’ve been leaving early for that.” Yugyeom opens a
content smile but it soon falls upon realizing the implications of Jungkook being there still.
“Does that mean that you’re missing an appointment today…?” he nods, guilty, walking past him.
“Dude— you can’t, it’s something important.” he’s tired. He’s so tired of being told what to do. He
may not know what he’s doing with his life but certain comments don’t help. At all.
“Yeah, I know.” he still says. “I just don’t feel like going today. A lot of shit happened.” his dream
floods his mind uninvitedly and he’s quick to push it away to the back of his mind with a sudden
weight in chest. It’s almost suffocating.
“Even more reasons for you to go, then. That’s what therapy is for, dude.” Yugyeom trails after
him. “You go and you tell them about the shit that happens and… they give you advice…? I don’t
know, to be honest, but it’s certainly better than drinking on the job.”
Jungkook freezes. “What?”
“You went there smelling like your cologne and now you smell like alcohol so…” Jungkook’s
head hangs, embarrassment creeping all the way to the tips of his ears. Seokjin was right. He’s just
an alcoholic and everyone is starting to know. He’s even starting to fail at hiding it.
“Just go, dude. You’re probably really fucking late already but… you may still catch some minutes
anyway. If I were you, I’d go.” Jungkook looks at him with a short nod. He’s not a quitter, he
shouldn’t just not attend because he failed at something. His life is a whole failure, to begin with.
“I… okay. Oh my God, ok. Fuck, I’m so late, how am I supposed to— Jesus, okay.” he jogs to his
locker again, already taking off his working polo to put on his black tee shirt. Yugyeom smiles,
satisfied with himself.
“You better run there.”
│►
“Has he picked up yet?” Taehyung asks the lady sitting at the front desk and she shakes her head.
“Is he still ignoring the calls?”
“I’m afraid to say that he has turned his cellphone off. The calls aren’t even reaching him
anymore.” Taehyung sighs with a nod. “I’ll let you know if he returns any of the calls or if I
manage to get them through again.”
“Alright, thank you.” he bows politely, walking back to his office, Jimin waiting with big curious
eyes. “His phone is off now, it’s weird that he didn’t cancel… usually patients call in sick or
something.” Taehyung shrugs. “But well, this gave us time to catch up at least, I’m glad that you
didn’t have any classes today.”
“Yeah, though I’ll have to go in… thirty minutes? Otherwise the next patient will arrive and I’m
still here talking about the most random things.” Jimin giggles. “Your next patient one could miss
as well so that I could come back, not working gets me bored.”
Taehyung chuckles, sitting down against his desk, arms crossed. “Tell me about your date
yesterday.” Jimin smiles, relaxing more on the couch. And Taehyung listens with a smile, both
laughing from time to time at both Jimin’s and Hoseok’s antics. Taehyung’s smile full of fondness,
genuinely happy for them.
“—and then…! And then he said that we could go to the—” two knocks on the door make him
stop speaking, both looking back to see who’s disturbing. It couldn’t possibly be the next patient,
there are still fifteen minutes left to the empty session so Taehyung figures it might be the lady
from the front desk with updates.
However, he’s proven wrong when the door opens. Taehyung’s eyes go wide, surprised. “I’m
sorry.” Jungkook says right away, only halfway through the door. “I’m really sorry.”
“Jungkook.” Taehyung pushes away from where he was leaning on the desk. “Are you ok? What
happened?” Jungkook opens his mouth to speak but feels the weight of another pair of eyes on
them. He recognizes him. Jimin.
“Well, well, Jeon, you look the same.” he says, getting up. “Not on the inside, I hope.” Jimin’s
eyebrow goes up with his own words and Jungkook looks at Taehyung for a beat of a second
before turning to Jimin again.
“You really don’t have to worry about that, the years have changed me a lot.” Jungkook assures,
turning back to his therapist. “Did— Did I lose my timing? I’ll go then— I’ll just book another
appointment...” he gulps. He feels bad. Really bad.
“No, no. I just came here to keep him company because Taehyungie said that someone didn’t show
up. You’re here now so I’ll leave you two for the remaining time you still have.” Jimin says with a
smile, kissing Taehyung’s forehead and patting Jungkook’s shoulder twice.
“Thank you, Jiminie, I’ll call you later.” Taehyung gives him a little wave once Jimin is by the
door and it soon clicks shut. Jungkook gulps. “Did something happen? An accident or something?”
his therapist asks right away and Jungkook feels even more guilty. He’s so weak.
“I’m sorry.” he says again. Taehyung gestures to the couches and Jungkook nods, following with
his head hanging low. “I won’t be surprised if you’re upset, I’m so stupid for not showing up.”
“I’m not upset, just worried.” Jungkook faces him. “Do you want to tell me what happened or…?”
“A friend of mine keeps pressuring me because I don’t open up enough… and— and he said things
that hurt.” he looks back down, fiddling with his fingers. Taehyung waits. “He called me an
alcoholic. Which is… true but it’s so fucking sad to hear that about me.”
“Does he know the reason behind the drinking?” Jungkook shakes his head. “Then you can’t let it
get to you. Just like how he can’t judge, I can’t either before knowing what happened in the past to
lead you to such habits.” he explains slowly. “Is it that one friend that always comes with you?
That waits by the lobby?”
“Yeah. He didn’t come today, though. I was hurt and told him not to…” Taehyung nods.
“Alright. Bring him in next time, I want to talk to you both.” Jungkook’s eyes go a little wide and
Taehyung just smiles reassuringly. “I just want to tell him what I’m telling you.”
“Okay…” he nods. “I know that he’s not entirely wrong, I know that. But it still hurts, hearing that
I can be identified as an alcoholic and a bully.”
“Why would you be a bully?” Jungkook is quick to meet his eyes, eyebrows brought together in a
tense and guilty expression. He figures that it should be a rather obvious answer. “It’s your past,
Jungkook. It’s been ten years.”
“I know… but I’ll never forget it. I know you won’t either and that fucks me up whenever I stop to
think about it. I was horrible…” Jungkook looks down, playing with his ring. He wants to cry.
“I’ll tell you what.” Taehyung relaxes a little. “I was the one at the pointy end of your comments
and I’ve forgiven you. I want you to forgive yourself. I don’t think about it, you shouldn’t either.”
“But—”
“I mean it. It’s ok. You’re different now, you can’t judge yourself for what you were.” Jungkook
nods, a little defeated. “So—” Taehyung crosses his legs, the notes on top of them. “—tell me
about our experiment.” he can immediately see the change in Jungkook’s eyes, his shoulders
slumping; teeth digging into his bottom lip, fingers stopping. “Did you not try it…?”
“I did. I promise. I drank the tea, I meditated, which was kind of relaxing, if I’m being honest, even
if it took me quite a bit to get in the mood. I laid there for about two hours before falling asleep but
I did fall and uh, I had a dream… so I drank myself stupid afterwards.” he whispers the last part,
looking down at his lap. “I failed it, I couldn’t make it through.”
“What was the dream about?” Jungkook gulps.
“Can I not answer that?” Taehyung shows him a kind smile as he nods. “Thank you… and also
sorry for failing at the one thing you asked from me. I understand if you’re disappointed or upset
or— It’s— I’m really so sorry.”
“Is that another reason as to why you didn’t come?” Jungkook is silent and so Taehyung closes his
notes, unfolding his legs to lean a little closer. “I’m proud of you for even trying it out knowing
that you had the possibility of dreaming about whatever it is that bothers you at night. I’m not
disappointed nor am I angry. I’m proud of you.” he says, tone serious and genuine.
“You’re… what?” he looks up at Taehyung, searching for any signs of dishonesty but only finds a
warm smile and encouraging eyes. “Proud? Why?”
“You knew that there was a chance of it not working and you still did it. You also showed up now
so that speaks louder than anything.” Jungkook scoffs.
“It speaks that I’m weak, yes. I didn’t show up because I’m weak. I—” Taehyung is quick to raise
a hand to stop him, Jungkook’s eyes focused and wide, shutting his mouth.
“If you were weak, you wouldn’t have pushed through to be here right n—”
“What’s that?” he asks, startling Taehyung. “I’m so sorry for interrupting but what’s that? On your
left cheek. Why do you have a bruise there?” the blonde’s hand raises up immediately to touch the
still sore skin but he smiles, trying to dismiss it with a shrug.
“I hurt myself yesterday while opening a cabinet, it wasn’t anything too bad.” Jungkook doesn’t
look convinced. “I bruise like a peach, I can assure you that nothing bad happened.” he giggles at
the concern behind Jungkook’s eyes and the older man nods ever so slowly.
“Okay… you should be more careful then. That shouldn’t be there.” Taehyung’s eyes double in
size when Jungkook leans closer to grab his chin, so incredibly careful, in order to tilt his head up
and to the side a little bit. “It doesn’t look very deep, it’s not too dark...”
“That’s— That’s because it was a little accident while cleaning up, nothing too bad.” Jungkook
nods at last, letting go of Taehyung’s jaw, his fingers disappearing in a second and Taehyung
wonders if they were ever even there. He barely felt them.
“Be more careful, please. Bruises can hurt a lot, especially on your face.” Taehyung nods, cheeks a
little red. Jungkook doesn’t miss that, the blush, so he feels himself growing shy as well, which
isn’t normal for him. Why did he just grab Taehyung’s jaw like that? He has no idea. He just did.
“I have something to ask from you.” he looks up, ignoring his own blush that he just knows is
there. “I’m going to give you other options for you to try… if that’s ok. I did some research on
ways to sleep peacefully and I wanted you to attempt one of them again.”
“I—” he stops himself. He doesn’t want to flat-out say no, but the thought of dreaming again scares
him immensely. Seokjin’s accusing words come flooding in again and Jungkook sighs. He’ll be
proving his friend right. He’s not trying. “I’ll try it, just tell me what to do.” Taehyung smiles,
opening his notes again with a proud look in his eyes.
It’s odd for Jungkook to see it. Pride because of something he did.
He’s never really seen that before.
“At what time do you usually go to bed?” Jungkook gives him a sad smile. He doesn’t know the
answer to that question. “Right… Hm, at eight, I want you to try doing some exercises given you
told me that you work you, and then I want you to take a hot shower. It’s proven that the
combination of the two increases fatigue, which will lead you to be more tired and sleepy. Also, try
drinking the tea again after your shower, just for good measure.”
“Alright… but don’t get your hopes up.” he chuckles to himself out of sheer embarrassment. “My
brain is… all sorts of messed up.” Taehyung furrows his eyebrows, visibly disliking his statement.
“No, it’s not. You’re really smart, Jungkook, and emotionally aware. Your brain is not messed up,
just in need to be… worked on a little.” Jungkook sighs. “I know that you’re going to get better one
day, you’re working for it, you’re doing your best, at your own pace. You’re doing it healthily.”
“You’re… very understanding…” Taehyung chuckles. “I’ll try. I’ll most likely fail but I’ll still
try.”
“That’s enough. You trying is enough.”
│►
Jungkook exhales in contentment, head thrown back against the tiles. The hot water is extremely
relaxing to his sore muscles. The steam filling up the bathroom is enough to show how long he has
been standing under the showerhead and he knows that he must stop soon unless he wants to spend
his entire wage on the water bill.
Turning it off with a sigh, he pushes his hair back, the hot water drops running down his back.
The tea is waiting, still hot, left on the sink when he steps out with only a towel around his waist
and he takes a sip right away. He does feel tired after his exhausting workout session. His muscles
are relaxed in a way that makes him want to lay down and not move ever again.
He settles for putting on some sweatpants, not even grabbing underwear before he slips inside the
bedsheets, Moon is already laying on the floor next to the bed. “Come here, girl.” he pats the
mattress and she’s quick to join him, lying at his feet. “Let’s try this again…”
Jungkook closes his eyes, accommodating himself under the sheets a little better, head resting
carelessly on the pillow even if his hair is still a little wet. He feels so tired that he almost
immediately feels himself drifting away.
The image of his little sister clinging onto him crosses his mind for a split second and his eyes
shoot open, already sitting up. His throat feels dry all of a sudden, hands already shaking as he pulls
his hair back out of frustration.
“Why did I think that I’d be able to do this.” he asks into the thin air, opening the first drawer. “I
can’t.” his head shakes multiple times while he opens the bottle, scared tears starting to pool in his
eyes. He can’t do it. He can’t see it again. He can’t.
A sip. Another one.
“I’m sorry.” he doesn’t really know who he’s apologizing to, if to Taehyung or someone else,
maybe even himself. He just knows that he feels insanely guilty. So, he repeats, “I’m sorry.” as he
takes yet another sip, not planning on stopping any time soon.
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 9 │►
Chapter Notes
“Thank you for allowing me to come with you.” Seokjin smiles as he parks the car and Jungkook
gulps, looking out of the window to try to gather his thoughts and, if lucky, formulate anything
remotely useful to use when explaining exactly why Seokjin is there. “I thought that you were still
mad at me, I’m happy that we could solve things.” oh Jesus.
“Actually… I haven’t been completely honest with you. I’m not mad anymore, that’s true… but
you’re not here just because of that. Taehyung asked me to uhm, bring you inside.” Seokjin raises a
confused brow, resting back when the car is turned off. “I told him about what you said and he
wants to talk to the both of us together. You can say no, obviously.”
“Oh.” he’s surprised. “Okay.” Jungkook nods, waiting for him to unlock the doors. “Maybe he’ll
tell you just how right I am. Or maybe he’ll tell me that I’m wrong. Either way, let’s get going
before we’re late.” it still takes him a second to follow his best friend, not saying a word as they
walk together through the entire identification process that he still thinks is unnecessary.
He’s been there many other times, they know who he is.
It’s with a hesitant knock that he opens Taehyung’s door, Seokjin standing close behind him. The
conversation can go one of two ways: one, Seokjin understands how Jungkook feels with the whole
thing or two, he won’t understand it and will continue defending his point.
“Good morning.” Jungkook greets with a lighter voice but he’s quickly filled with nerves when his
friend placing a hand on his back. He doesn’t really listen to anything the other two say while
greeting each other; he keeps his head low, scared of what may be coming his way.
Maybe it won’t be too bad.
Maybe it will be terrible.
Either way, he sits down next to Seokjin, his therapist taking his usual place on the couch in front
of them, notepad on his lap and pen ready in his hand. Jungkook can feel his own trembling. It’s
nerve-wracking, to say the least. He’s grown used to being with Taehyung and Taehyung alone
when in there so, another presence, even if his best friend, makes him feel oddly out of place.
He doesn’t listen to what Taehyung says at all, he sees his lips moving and his friend nodding from
time to time but it’s as if nothing around him clicks. He’s so beyond nervous. His mouth feels dry,
body asking for a drink that he knows he won’t be able to get his hands within the next hour and
that thought only makes him even more nervous.
Jungkook wipes his sweaty palms on his thighs, gulping as Taehyung starts off the timer.
“So, Jungkook.” the blonde begins. “Please tell Seokjin what’s bothering you, explain your side
and what you told me during our last session.” his hands gesture towards Seokjin and Jungkook
nods, turning his torso a little to the side to face him. He breathes in.
“I feel— I feel like every time you try to help, you just pressure me and it makes me feel a lot
worse most of the time.” Jungkook says while looking attentively at Seokjin’s eyes. He can see the
shift inside them, his defensive side visibly coming through.
“I only say what I do because you’re not helping yourself, Kooks. We have an example happening
right this moment, instead of opening up to your therapist, you’re wasting your consultation time
by trying to tell me that I’m wrong for worrying about you.” he throws his hands in the air
exasperatedly and Jungkook looks down. “You have issues and—”
“Hey, no, let’s pause.” Taehyung is quick to interrupt. “No one can make accusations in here, no
one can or will treat my patients poorly. If you’re going to be talking to him like this, I’ll have to
ask you to take your leave.” Jungkook bites the inside of his cheek, doing his best not to crack a
smile or spill a rant of thank you’s. He should’ve known that Taehyung would take his side.
“With all due respect, I’m just saying that if he wants to make any progress, he has to work for it
and this isn’t exactly the way to achieve that.” Seokjin still says, pointing at the other man.
“When people are pressured, they tend to take even longer to be able to share things. Some end up
really unable to do it at all with how hard they close up. I don’t want that to happen to a patient that
I know has so much potential just because you think pressuring him is the way to help him get
better. I’m telling you now, it’s not the way to get anything done.” Taehyung says, voice stern but
still soft. “If you continue doing this, his personal problem may worsen, he may get back to square
one or close up on me. I can’t let that happen to anyone.”
“I don’t want that to happen either… he’s my best—” he turns to Jungkook with pleading eyes, his
resolve starting to break. “You’re my best friend, I just want you happier, brighter, laughing,
making even more jokes… I want you to be ok and— I’m sorry if I pressure you, I’m just scared
that this may not go anywhere.”
“It will, Jin. I’m trying. I really am. I will share, I just— I can’t do it in one go. There are some
things that I’m still not ready to say out loud. My problems go way deeper and way beyond what
you know and there are things that I myself find hard to understand and process because I’ve tried
for years to forget them and ignore them. Please understand that.” Seokjin sighs with a nod.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know my words were being taken like this or that they could have such a
negative impact on your progress... I thought that I could just give you a little push. I promise to
refrain from pressuring you, I’ll try to be more like Yoongi.” he smiles, placing a reassuring hand
on Jungkook’s knee before squeezing it twice.
“That’s good. Thank you…” Jungkook smiles too, even though it’s not completely real. He’s still
afraid that things might not change even after this conversation. He can only hope that they will.
“Thank you for understanding him.” Taehyung tells him as he finishes noting something down and
Jungkook becomes aware of his presence again. “Would you like to add something or can you
leave us to resume our meeting alone?”
“Oh, of course I can, I’m done here, I’ll talk to him back at home.” Seokjin is quick to get on his
feet, bowing to the therapist that bows back, as well as possible given he’s sitting down. “I’ll be
waiting for you outside, Kooks.” he informs, patting his friend’s shoulder.
“Thanks, Jin.” he smiles, more genuinely this time, and Taehyung sighs in relief. He’s happy that
he could at least help with one of Jungkook’s issues. At least that.
They remain silent as they wait for Seokjin to close the door after leaving and Jungkook is the first
one to speak.
“You didn’t have to take my side, you know?” he chuckles, a little embarrassed. “You probably
think it’s frustrating too that I don’t open up, I promise that I am trying to do so, it’s just really
hard.” Taehyung raises an eyebrow, leaning a little closer to the center.
“Let me tell you about my first patient… I can’t tell you her name but she was a really nice girl,
only fifteen years old, still very young. It took her over a year to finally sit down right there and tell
me what was going on with her. You’ve been visiting for what… two months? A little less,
maybe?” Jungkook nods. “It’s normal. I can assure you of that much. Take your time.”
“Okay… I just… I don’t want to be a bother. For anyone, really. That’s the biggest reason as to
why I didn’t even tell anyone that I needed… help.” he whispers the last word almost shyly.
“Then maybe it’s time for you to start thinking of yourself, Jungkook.” as their eyes meet,
Jungkook can feel his nerves slowly fading away, feeling as calm as he usually does during
sessions. It’s a weird power that Taehyung has, making him feel relaxed instantly.
“I guess it is…” he whispers still playing with his rings.
“What are you thinking about? I can hear your brain working.” it turns quiet, the office being filled
with nothing but silence for a few long seconds, but Jungkook does close his eyes before inhaling
sharply with his palms growing sweaty.
“I really, really want a drink right now.” Taehyung doesn’t react, almost as if he was already
waiting for that. “I drink when I’m stressed so— yeah, I guess. I need a drink.”
“Alright. I must apologize, I can’t provide you with alcohol. I don’t even have any. A coffee, sure,
water, anything. Not alcohol.” Jungkook feels embarrassment creeping to his cheeks and the tips of
his ears. What is he thinking? Talking about it like that?
“Never mind.” Jungkook sighs. “This is the thing that I hate the most to talk about so let’s not talk
about my thirst, please.” he rubs his eyes; he still feels like crying. “Can we just have you
suggesting something for me to do or say…? Please?”
“Yes, we can. How did the experiment go?” Jungkook rubs the back of his neck. “Why are you
suddenly jittery?” he tilts his head, curious. “Did it not work either?”
“I couldn’t do it. I’m sorry.” the young man whispers. “I did exactly what you told me to do, laid
down with Moon and everything but when… when I tried to sleep, the dreams popped into my
mind. I couldn’t do it. I’m so sorry.” Taehyung smiles, contrary to his expectations.
“It’s ok. There’s nothing wrong with that, you doing as little as thinking of trying it so soon after
the first failed attempt is already amazing. You don’t give yourself enough credit, Jungkook.” but
the man doesn’t look any less embarrassing nor frustrated.
“Still… I feel like I should’ve tried. I don’t want to come off as if I’m not giving it a try because I
am, I promise. I just couldn’t do it, thinking about the dreams really hurts. I was afraid.” he looks
up from his hands and he almost gets whiplash from how warm and reassuring Taehyung’s eyes
look. While they relax him, they also make him feel guilty at the same time. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m still proud that you accepted my suggestion.” Jungkook tries but he doesn’t understand why
that is. How can Taehyung be proud of him? He failed. “Can I give you another suggestion? It’s
not for the dreams, it’s simply to try to clear your mind. It might help you.”
“Sure… I could use taking away some of the shit up here.” he points to his own head with a sad
chuckle. Taehyung can’t laugh at such a joke. He just can’t.
“Take one of your friends to a place that you really like. A place where you can feel relaxed, with a
friend that you’re comfortable with and can share thoughts with. And talk. Vent about the most
random things. Just speak, get your thoughts out. It feels really good.” Jungkook looks down at his
lap. Someone to vent to? He can’t see who.
He has Seokjin, sure, but they’ve never really talked as in, Seokjin sitting down listening to what
he thinks about random things, as Taehyung suggested. Seokjin isn’t the best of listeners
sometimes, he’s more of the speaker himself. Jungkook would end up as the one listening.
Yoongi. They’re closer, but still. Yoongi isn’t a big fan of heartfelt conversations and much less of
leaving his house after work during the week and, though Jungkook is sure that he would accept
with no hesitation and just listen, he feels bad for the hassle.
Yugyeom crosses his mind. They’re not actual friends, they work together and get along at the gas
station. Would they ever get along if they didn’t work together? Maybe not. Jungkook is also not
sure if he would be comfortable just talking to him. Probably not.
“Can you come?” he asks before he even gives it a second thought. Taehyung’s mouth opens in
surprise. “As a friend, that is. Not my… therapist.”
The silence feels even worse now that he has asked such a thing. “I don’t— My fiancé is a little
protective, I don’t know if I’ll be able to go.”
Jungkook’s eyebrows furrow immediately. “Protecting you equals controlling your friends' circle?”
Taehyung is left speechless. He doesn’t know how to answer it. “I’ll understand if you can’t go but
if that’s the reason, then I’m sorry but you shouldn’t be allowing him to do that.”
“It’s… It’s not like that.” Taehyung gulps. It’s exactly like that. “I’ll go, that was nonsense, I’m
sure that he won’t mind it.” he smiles, fingers tightening around his notepad. He’s not that sure.
“Alright… don’t get in trouble with your boyfriend over me, though. It’s really not worth it just to
hear me talk.” Jungkook says anyway, expression still a little tense, wary. That sounded like a big
red flag to him, but he doesn’t want to assume anything. It’s Taehyung’s personal life that he
knows nothing about, he doesn’t want to be nosy.
“Give me a time and a place and I’ll be there.”
│►
Taehyung inhales slowly as he hears the footsteps approaching, and his hand stops where it was
wiping the counter with a warm rag. “Why is dinner already made?” Hyungsik asks, displeased.
“Because I’m going out with— with a friend.” he explains, still not looking back. “I made you
dinner and I’ll eat when I get back, in case I get home late or somet—” a hand grabs his forearm,
turning him around so that they’re now facing each other.
“You are what?” Hyungsik asks. “A friend? What did we agree to? You can only hang out with
Jimin and that cunt of a boyfriend that he has. Only.” Jungkook’s words pop up into his mind,
triggered by his fiancé's harsh tone and harsher implication.
For the first time ever, it doesn’t feel right. For the first time ever, he places the rag down, gulping
away his nerves before speaking, wanting to stand up for himself. “You can’t control my frie—”
the hand is quick to wrap around his throat instead, pressure a little too mean. “Sik—”
“What were you saying?” he challenges. “I can’t what?” Taehyung’s eyes water at both the
pressure and the shock, fear pumping through his veins. He has never been afraid like this of his
own fiancé and now Jungkook’s words don’t go away. Is it really wrong? Hyungsik controlling his
friends? He was manipulated into thinking that’s how he’s supposed to have it, that he’s supposed
to be ok with it. He’s never questioned.
But now he’s doing so.
“I— It’s just a friend, honey. I promise.” it sounds something close to a whine and Hyungsik
chuckles, letting go of Taehyung’s throat. His sensitive skin already turning red, five fingers well
marked. He really does bruise like a peach, he wasn’t lying when he said that.
“Who’s the friend? What’s their name?”
Taehyung blinks, inhaling sharply to make up for the seconds that he was deprived of air. “His
name is J—Jungkook…” it’s almost a whisper. “He’s a friend. Only. I promise. I love you, Sik, I’d
never do anything wrong.” Hyungsik nods slowly, stepping back with a quiet sigh.
“The same Jungkook that you were reading about the other day?” no answer. “I see.” he chuckles.
“Go as you wish, but you can imagine that I won’t be happy when you get back.”
“What— What does that mean…?”
“I’ll just show you that you don’t need any other man in your life, Taehyung.” the blonde nods,
rather clueless. He knows he doesn’t need anyone else. They’re engaged, he’s taken. He’s happy
and he considers their relationship happy.
“Jungkook is also straight so you don’t—” his attempt to lie is cut short by the mean hand on his
jaw this time, holding it in place.
“I was straight too when I met you, you know that.” it’s almost a growl. “Go, then. I want you
home early or it will anger me more.” Hyungsik smiles, loosening the grip around Taehyung’s
face. “I love you, Taehyung.”
“I love you too.” Taehyung smiles back, movement slow. “Thank you for letting me go.” he leans
in for a kiss but his fiancé looks away, his lips landing on Hyungsik’s cheek. Oh right, they don’t
kiss often anymore. He understands, though he misses it. They used to kiss more before.
It’s stupid, he shouldn’t be thinking of something like this. It’s normal. Kisses stop at some point.
At least that’s what Hyungsik always says.
│►
When Taehyung gets to the park that Jungkook told him about, he can already see a figure dressed
in all black, sitting on the grass. There’s a big white dog a few meters ahead, running around, and
Taehyung already identifies it as Moon.
He walks towards the older man in quick steps, smiling down at him when Jungkook notices him
approaching. “Hey.” he opens a large smile, his front teeth resembling a bunny, Taehyung notes.
“Hey.” Taehyung smiles as well as he sits down on the grass, a little space between them. “I’m
sorry for being a little late, I got caught up with traffic.” he can feel his hands sweating a bit as he
excuses himself. Hyungsik hates tardiness, he always gets angry and always ends up yelling.
“Oh, that’s totally fine, don’t worry.” oh. “I’ve been here with Moon, it’s alright.” Jungkook
chuckles, turning away from the dog to look at Taehyung. His eyes fall to his neck without even
realizing, sitting up more correctly. “Are those… fingers?” he notices right away.
Taehyung tenses. “Where?”
“On your neck.” Jungkook’s careful hand grabs Taehyung’s chin to tilt his head up and to the side,
giving himself a fuller vision of the red marks that didn’t have time to go away.
“No— It’s— No.” his eyebrows meet, pulling away slightly from Jungkook’s hand as his head
goes a mile per hour trying to think of what to possibly say. He’s not a good liar. The older man lets
it go without any resistance, something that he too finds weird. Jungkook’s always so gentle.
“Hm.” Jungkook says without taking his eyes away from the marks. However, when he sees the
blush on Taehyung’s cheeks, he understands it. At least he thinks that he does understand. “If
you’re into… different things with your fiancé, I won’t judge. We’re both grownups.”
Taehyung opens his mouth in surprise. It takes him a second to fully understand what Jungkook
means but when he does, he has to fight off the embarrassment. “Yes. Yes, that’s it.” he lies with
an awkward chuckle. “He has a weird— taste with… things.”
“I get it.” Jungkook chuckles. “It’s alright, just don’t let his weird taste hurt you.” Taehyung wants
to shrink into a ball or for the ground to swallow him whole. Whatever comes faster.
“Right.” he looks away at Moon. “Why did you pick this place?” Jungkook smiles, leaning back on
his hands, the faint sun making his face glow beautifully. He tales a second before answering.
“In about five minutes the sun will start setting. It looks really… beautiful when watched from
here.” Taehyung follows Jungkook’s eyes to the front, the warm tones painting the sky.
“It looks so pretty.” Taehyung comments with a smile. He has never watched the sunset with
anyone, he feels warm. As warm as the mix of oranges and reds starting to take over the blue in the
sky, the sun starting to get low.
“I used to come here a lot to take pictures.” Jungkook starts. “I used to love taking pictures, it’s a
really calming hobby… then I sold my camera and never took pictures again, not even with my
phone. It just doesn’t feel the same so I… didn’t want anything to do with it.” he explains with a
serene tone of voice, feeling Taehyung’s eyes on him, but too embarrassed to meet them.
“Why did you sell your camera if you still like taking pictures?” Taehyung’s question sounds so
soft that he wonders why it makes him feel so sad.
“I needed the money and it was an expensive camera, I saved for longer than I can even remember
to buy it.” his sad smile makes Taehyung lose his own. “It was quite sad to let go of it, but it had to
be done so…”
“You shouldn’t lose your love for it, though. You can always go back to it whenever you want to…
or whenever you’re able to.” Jungkook’s eyes hold visible sadness and Taehyung can’t let them
stay like this, he prefers happy Jungkook. “Tell me, why do you like photography?”
“I think of it like this… it’s nice when it looks good, yeah, but the meaning that a picture can hold
makes it such an important thing, you know? You can take a picture to remember places and
people and—” he stops abruptly, sitting up straighter. “Just… It’s just the fact that you can grab a
camera and keep something forever from an important moment, either happy or just memorable.
Important people or important places or whatever. Isn’t that nice?”
He looks at Taehyung with a happier smile that slowly goes away. Taehyung just waits for him to
continue as he can see that the elder isn’t done speaking. He’s proven right soon after.
“It’s also crazy how happy pictures can hold sad memories. When I looked at that picture that
Moon ruined… it brought me both sadness and happiness even though it was taken on an amazing
day. Isn’t that crazy?” Jungkook’s eyes drift away. “We wanted to capture a good day, a happy
thing, and… it was just overpowered by sad shit.”
Taehyung is quietly listening, enjoying the way the other’s voice sounds so slow and careful all
when he speaks, words almost dragged at times so that he knows what to say next. Jungkook is
smart; he’s so interesting, too. He speaks in a way that Taehyung can just rest back and listen.
“In a way… In a way, that’s me, isn’t it? A once happy thing overpowered by sad shit.” he
chuckles, trying to make sense of his own words. Taehyung turns to him a little more.
“The only overpowering thing about you is how incredibly nice and smart you are. You should
give yourself way more credit.” he looks away. He doesn’t agree. “I don’t like seeing you upset
and the goal of this encounter was precisely to talk about… random topics that make you happy or
what you’re excited about, so let’s talk, let’s change the subject.”
And so they do. They continue talking for what feels like hours, Taehyung always listening with a
smile on his face, attentive, caring, warm. And Jungkook doesn’t feel like he’s bothering anyone
for the first time ever. He can tell that Taehyung isn’t desperately waiting for the right moment so
that he can leave and end the conversation. He feels like he can talk.
He feels like he’ll be listened to, no matter what he talks about.
Even if it’s just a bunch of random topics.
“Can I… ask you something?” Taehyung asks as Jungkook finishes his train of thoughts about a
documentary he watched not long ago. Jungkook nods without meeting his eyes. “Why didn’t you
go to college? You liked studying so much, you’re… the last person I’d imagine not to continue
school. I really thought that you’d major in something.”
Jungkook sighs. “I wanted to go to college but things didn’t work out that way for me. I would’ve
studied architecture or engineering… maybe both, I don’t know, it was always my life dream as a
kid, I really wanted that for me but I suppose what I want isn’t what happens.” Moon runs towards
them, laying down by Taehyung’s side. “I ramble a lot when I speak, I’m sorry.”
Taehyung is quick to reassure him that he can go on, that he really enjoys hearing him talk. The
topics are nice, he enjoys listening to Jungkook and he feels heard when he’s sharing something
too; apart from that, the sun is gone by now and Moon has laid down next to them which means
that Taehyung can pet her. He’s enjoying their moment a lot.
“Are you sure that you’re ok with me speaking? I spent ten minutes talking about some movie that
you didn’t even watch.” Jungkook chuckles, a little embarrassed, but Taehyung smiles, hand going
back to Moon’s fur to thread his fingers through it.
“The way you talk is really captivating, I’ve told you this already. I like listening to you.”
Jungkook nods ever so slowly, a warm smile stretching his lips at the sight of a peaceful Moon
resting her head on Taehyung’s thigh. “I’m enjoying today.”
“Let’s talk about you again, shall we?” Jungkook suggests. “You seem to like Moon a lot, do you
have any dog of your own?” Taehyung’s smile falters, giving place to a little frown.
“I wish I had one. My fiancé doesn’t like dogs so I’m not allowed to have one. I just wanted a little
one… definitely smaller than Moon, she’s— huge. But Hyungsik doesn’t want them so I have to
respect his decision.” Jungkook nods. He understands it in a way, he hates cats himself.
“That fiancé of yours seems to have the last word about everything, huh?” Taehyung blinks. What?
That’s not true. “He should at least consider it if you like them so much.”
“Oh, he’s just… a big pet hater. He doesn’t want any, at all.” he shrugs. “It’s alright, he makes it
up for me by being a good fiancé.”
“I hope that he really is a good fiancé, you’re too nice to be with someone that isn’t like that as
well.” Taehyung shyly smiles. “How did you two meet?”
“He’s a director at a company, he was stressed with work and I was in my last college year,
stressing about finals and all that. We met at a bar and we just… kept meeting and seeing each
other. He gave me the feeling of stability that I couldn’t have since I was just finishing college, you
know? I was in a very sensitive headspace, always stressed and worried about the future so I feel
like I met him at the right time. He helped.” Taehyung ends it with a shrug.
“Ah, I see. That’s really nice.” Jungkook smiles, sitting up. “How long ago was that?”
“Two and a half years. I’ve only been a therapist for two years and we met some months before I
graduated…” he explains. “We got engaged about five months afterwards.”
“You what? Did you just say five?” Taehyung scratches the back of his neck. No one has ever
reacted well to that. “Well… that’s fast but some people do click fast so I’m not going to say
anything. Was it a nice proposal?”
“He uh, just said that we should get married and I agreed. There was never… a proposal, just an
agreement.” Jungkook’s eyebrows furrow even more and Taehyung giggles. “I can tell by your
face that you’re not pleased by this.”
“I’m a bit of a hopeless romantic so hearing this makes my heart cringe.” he places a hand over his
chest, an overdramatic sad expression. “What matters is that you two are happy, I guess.”
“I didn’t take Jeon Jungkook for a romantic.” Taehyung jokes, making the older man laugh.
“I know right? I am, though. I’ve always been. Make me watch a romance and I’ll be crying by the
end of it.” he chuckles again and Taehyung joins.
“I’m not that romantic myself but I can appreciate some good romance, it makes me feel all
warm.” Moon lifts up her head, getting both of their attentions. She gets up, bothered by something.
Taehyung’s vibrating phone under her. Hyungsik’s picture is on the screen and Taehyung feels his
stomach drop. He lost sense of time. Completely. “Sorry, I have to take this.”
“Oh sure, go head.” Jungkook gestures him to pick up and so he does, hearing just three simple
words before the line cuts.
“Come home now.” is all he says and Taehyung doesn’t question it; he can’t.
“I have to go, can we maybe continue this some other day? I’m really sorry, something came up.”
Jungkook smiles.
“Of course.” they’re both quick on their feet, Jungkook grabbing Moon to put on her collar so that
they can both walk together back to their apartment. “I really enjoyed this, even if it was mainly
just me talking and boring you, I had a really good time. Thank you so much for coming.”
“You weren’t boring me, I had a really good time too.” Taehyung smiles. “As I said before, I like
hearing you talk, knowing your thoughts, it’s… I really like it. I enjoy it a lot.” he bends down to
pet Moon one last time, the dog happily licking his hand.
Before Taehyung can even process it, Jungkook’s arms are around him. Unfortunately, they’re
gone as quickly as they appeared. He barely managed to hug him back. “Well, I’ll see you in the
next session. Have a good night.”
“You too.” when Taehyung unlocks his car, he looks back to see Jungkook leaning Moon away
towards the sidewalk. He furrows his eyebrows. No car? “Hey.” he calls again. “Would you like a
drive home?” Jungkook stops in his tracks to look at him, a little surprised at the offer.
“Oh, I— I have Moon, she may make your back seats all dirty and all.”
“It’s alright, I don’t mind that at all.” Taehyung giggles with a little shrug, opening the door to get
some bags from the seats in the back. He taps them while whistling, Moon running towards the car
and jumping immediately before sitting down.
“What if I live too far away from your house?” Jungkook raises an eyebrow, walking closer to the
car and Taehyung is, yet again, giggling.
“I don’t mind that either.” they both get inside, the vanilla-like scent filling up the entire car, it’s
pleasant and Jungkook feels more relaxed every time he inhales.
“Thank you.” he says as he puts on his seatbelt. “I’m older than you but I feel ten years younger.”
Taehyung laughs. “Are you saying I give off old person vibes?” Jungkook lets out a laugh of his
own, shaking a dismissive hand.
“You’re just stable in every way and I’m not. In any way.” Taehyung looks at him with a
questioning expression but Jungkook only gives him a smile. “I should get myself a fiancé.”
“Maybe try a girlfriend first. Or a boyfriend. Someone.” Jungkook nods with a small frown. “Do
you have a license?” he asks as they stop at a red light. Jungkook bites the inside of his cheek.
“I do. However, I got rid of my car when I got rid of my camera.” he can see it in Taehyung’s eyes,
the curiosity. He knows the blonde wants to ask, but he doesn’t, respectful enough to wait until
Jungkook himself wants to speak.
Instead, Taehyung settles for reassuring him. “That’s alright, I only bought a car last year as well
when I started getting really well paid.” Jungkook frowns even more without meaning to, looking
out of the window with a hum.
“That’s really good, it’s an amazing car.” he compliments with a somewhat distant tone of voice.
Taehyung notices it right away. “What are you thinking about?” and the older man just shrugs with
a chuckle. Nothing. He’s not thinking about anything in particular.
“Nothing, just looking outside. Thank you for driving us.” he smiles again, not wanting Taehyung
to think there’s something wrong.
“Oh, please, don’t thank me.”
│►
Jungkook tilts the bag enough to fill Moon’s bowl, the dog immediately digging in, the sounds of
her munching filling up the small kitchen. He smiles sadly at her as he puts the bag down, his
stomach growling, hurting. “At least one of us is eating well today.” Jungkook jokes as he pats her
torso, dragging himself to the fridge.
Nothing but alcohol. There’s an egg but it has been there for a suspiciously long time and he’s too
paranoid to eat it without thinking of utter death. “Eat everything, baby.” he tells her as he grabs a
cold bottle of whiskey, deciding that he can just go earlier to bed instead of dealing with a growling
stomach. He ate the last cup of ramen for lunch.
Taking a big sip of whiskey, he lets himself lower enough to sit on the floor next to the dog eating.
He sighs. “Today was nice, wasn’t it?” he starts. “I fixed things with Jin and had a good time with
Taehyung, he’s turning out to be a really nice friend. You like him a lot, don’t you?” Moon looks
at him briefly, quickly diving back into her bowl.
“I hope that we get to hang out again outside of the sessions’ environment. We do get along, I
believe. Never go out of topic, it doesn’t feel awkward.” his stomach growls again and he hisses a
little, drinking more from the bottle. “Daddy’s going to lay down, alright? Eat up.”
With a last kiss to her head, he gets up with the drink, body asking for some kind of food that he
can’t provide, downing more and more booze instead. He knows that that’s terrible.
It’s not like he has a choice, though.
│►
“Yes… fuck, Taehyung—” Hyungsik grunts, a long groan following suit. His body falls limp onto
the mattress some seconds afterwards and Taehyung finally breathes without the weight on top of
him. He waits until the pain fades away before getting up from bed, leaving his fiancé who’s
already half asleep, knowing that Hyungsik doesn’t like to be bothered after they’re intimate.
His cheeks are red when he reaches the bathroom and he doesn’t know if it’s from the slaps he
received during their moment or from the way he was deprived of oxygen for quite some time
there. He wasn’t aroused or satisfied but he knows his place when it comes to their sexual
moments. He’s there to satisfy his fiancé and he’s ok with that.
He just wants Hyungsik happy.
Even if his cheeks hurt and his eyes sting. Even if his legs and his scalp still tingle in a not-so-nice
way. He’s ok with all of that. That’s the only thing he deserves.
Taehyung grabs a towel to clean himself up from what his fiancé has left all over his legs, sighing
to himself. He hates these moments. He doesn’t see the big deal about them. He’s never enjoyed
them. They’re always so unnecessary.
Maybe the problem is just him. He’s not enough and he’s not good at it.
Or at anything, for that matter.
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 10 │►
Chapter Notes
Hyungsik takes a long sip from his wine glass, a laugh spilling from his lips as his friend continues
to share a story about his wife but he doesn’t pay much attention to it, he’s not that interested in the
theme. “What about yours? Why are you two together?” and he chuckles again, taking one more
sip before he clears his throat to start speaking.
“I needed a promotion at the time. My boss was clearly prioritizing… different people, let’s put it
like that. She made a woman marketing director and who the fuck lets a woman be in charge of
anything, to begin with? Then someone who was white… a foreigner. When she promoted a
lesbian I figured that I just needed a boyfriend and I’d get my promotion. Which I did.”
“Did you grow to like him? Since you two are engaged, and all.” his friend asks with an
entertained chuckle, relating all too well with the story.
“Honestly? No. He’s so annoying and insufferable. The reason why I’m still with him is because
he provides me stability. He cooks and he’s basically my maid, he makes more money than I do so
I made him believe that he must be the one paying the bills. You can imagine the amount of time
and money that I’m saving by being with him. Also means easy sex.” Hyungsik lists off.
“Oh, that’s understandable, I would still be with that bitch if she was just as useful.” their laughs
blend together as their glasses meet at the center, both enjoying their lunch to the fullest.
“The only thing that matters is that I have him wrapped around my finger. When we met, he was so
fucking naïve, so I worked with it in my favor to blind him. He’s honestly… very stupid and so, so
easily manipulated.” Hyungsik chuckles.
“I’ve seen him twice, he’s eye can, though.” the man comments, licking his lips.
“Eh, got boring after having it so many times.” a shrug. “It was never my plan to get engaged, we
were supposed to just date until I got my promotion but after about five months, he suggested
breaking up because I was too busy, needless to say, that’s why I said that we should get married.
Now I’m just keeping him for the sake of it.”
“You’re fucking your secretary, aren’t you? I’ve seen some suspicious things.” Hyungsik laughs,
which doesn’t happen often. He laughs wholeheartedly, head thrown back, body almost shaking.
It’s as though his coworker just told him the funniest joke.
“I’m dating three girls, she’s one of them. They don’t know that I’m engaged, obviously. I love
controlling people, being the one with the power is the best feeling in the world.” he hums while
stirring his wine glass in his hand with a little smirk.
“Does Taehyung know? What if he cheats too?” the question makes him chuckle again.
“He would never. I would also kill him if he tried. And no, he has no clue, he’s too dumb to see it
even though it’s kind of obvious that I’m not loyal.” his friend nods with a smirk. “I got lucky, I’d
say. As long as Taehyung’s blinded and around my finger, I’m ok.”
“Cheers to that, my friend.”

Hyungsik smiles, wicked. “Cheers.”
│►
Jungkook keeps his head low, trying to read his schedule for the following week on his phone, to
no avail. The sun doesn’t allow him to see anything and the lack of sunglasses only makes it ten
times worse. He’s mumbling incoherent curse words when his name is called.
He looks up, twisting around to find the source of the call, only to spot Taehyung waving with his
typically bright smile. But he’s not alone. Jimin is sitting in front of him, both at an outside table in
front of a restaurant. He waves back, smiling too, but he sees the both of them gesturing for him to
walk closer, so he puts his phone down, taking some steps towards their table.
“Hey.” Jungkook greets, smiling down at Jimin before he looks at Taehyung.
“Hey, Jungkook. We saw you passing by, sit down with us for lunch. That, if you don’t have
anywhere else to go.” Taehyung suggests with a smile and Jungkook gapes for a second, hand
curling around his phone. He gulps. He can’t really afford to eat out.
“Oh I didn’t— I didn’t bring my wallet.” Jungkook says, trying to dismiss them, ignoring the
discomfort in his stomach that hasn’t left for days. He hasn’t properly eaten in a while.
“It’s my time to pay anyway.” Jimin smiles while pointing to the chair next to Taehyung. “It’s
alright, join us, I still have to gather enough information to know if I approve of these interactions
or not.” Jungkook’s a little taken aback by his words and it’s visible on his face.
“Jimin…” Taehyung warns.
“I’m joking. Just sit down.” Jimin chuckles and Jungkook does pull the chair back to sit, feeling
extremely out of place with Jimin there. He knows that he wasn’t joking and he understands why
he would think like that, Jungkook has once brought a lot of pain to his best friend.
“I just— I hope that I’m not intruding.” he says.
“Not at all, or we wouldn’t have called.” Taehyung reassures, picking up a menu to hand over to
him. His throat runs dry. He hates to depend on others, it’s already enough what happens with his
best friends, having to buy him things so that he doesn’t die of starvation alongside Moon.
He can’t possibly use even more people. “I’m not hungry, I ate before leaving.” he forces out a
smile. “Just some water for me.” Taehyung furrows his eyebrows a little but nods nonetheless,
nodding. Jungkook tries not to sigh as they order what sounds like some expensive but tasty food,
ordering a single glass of water that he’s sure won’t even cost Jimin anything.
“So, Jungkook.” Jimin starts, now that the orders were taken. “I haven’t seen you properly in what?
Ten years?” he starts, intertwining his fingers on top of the table, getting comfortable.
“Yeah, time flies.” Jungkook chuckles a little awkwardly. “What have you done with uh, life?”
“Oh, you know. Finished high school and went to college for math and now I’m a high school
teacher myself. The pay could be better but I’m not complaining. I love teaching.” Jimin explains
with a shrug at the end and Jungkook wants to laugh. A teacher probably gets four or five times his
wage. If not more. He shouldn’t feel the jealousy that he does.
“That sounds cool.” he says, instead. “Math is great, that was a good pick.”
“What about you? I remember that you were one of the top students.” that question. Taehyung
asked the same thing. Do people really just expect that much from him? Being smart doesn’t
necessarily mean that he’s going to have the means for college.
“I didn’t follow higher studies. I only finished high school.” Jimin tilts his head, ready to open his
mouth again to ask why but Taehyung can see the discomfort behind Jungkook’s eyes, so he’s
faster to change the subject, perking up as though he just remembered something.
“You went on a date last night, how was it?” he turns the question back to his best friend and he
can see Jungkook letting out a relieved sigh. Jimin is a little confused by the sudden change but it
doesn’t take him long to understand that there’s something private going on.
So he answers the questions, “It was really nice, Hoseok is amazing. However, we did fight again
over proposing, he told me to do it but I told him to be the one getting on his knee. I don’t think
that we’re ever going to get married because of this. I just want to hear those words, but he wants
that too, this is a problem that we’ll never move on from.” Jimin says with a frown.
“Why don’t you just propose at the same time?” the table goes silent upon Jungkook’s suggestion
and Jimin pinches the bridge of his nose, thinking it through.
“Where have you been? You could’ve suggested that a year ago.” Jungkook chuckles. That wasn’t
a hard thing to come up with. “I will suggest that to Hoseok, consider yourself automatically
invited to the wedding if it comes to happen, because this has been a painfully long damn wait.” he
whines the ending, making the other two laugh.
“I’ve never been to a wedding, I’ll take the invite.” Jimin beams. “Good luck on that.”
“What about you, though? Life? How’s family?” Jungkook feels his blood cooling down.
Family. Right.
“My… family? There’s nothing to say, really.” he chuckles a little awkwardly, leaning back so that
the waiter can put their food down. His stomach growls, it smells amazing. His water has to be
enough. Jimin seems to still be waiting for some kind of answer as he takes a chunk of food to his
mouth so Jungkook looks down. “We’re… not very close these days.”
“Oh, that’s…” Jimin frowns, unsure of what to say. “Do you want us to change topics?”
“Yeah, that’d be amazing, please.” Jungkook nods, looking back at the blonde. His eyes fall to his
neck when he sees some dark marks. “Are those bruises?” he asks before he can stop himself and
Jimin’s head whips to his best friend, eyes falling to Taehyung’s neck as well.
“Yes.” he has to agree. What he told Jungkook a few days prior has to be the same thing that he
tells now. “Hyungsik and I—” he’s interrupted before he can.
“He hurt you again?” Jimin whisper-yells.
“What does that ‘again’ mean?” Jungkook is quick to ask, eyes a little narrowed.
“Oh, that’s not what he meant…” Taehyung chuckles humorlessly, Jimin making himself aware
that Jungkook is sitting right there. That’s right, they’re not alone, he doesn’t want to make
Taehyung uncomfortable by talking about Hyungsik’s abusive side so carelessly.
“Right, that’s not what I meant.” he lies, thinking of what he can possibly say to take the attention
away from the light bruises on Taehyung’s neck. “Are you uh, free tonight? We could go out for
drinks or a coffee after dinner. Jungkook could come as well.” he smiles, though Taehyung just
sighs, putting his chopsticks down.
“You know that Hyungsik doesn’t like me going out after dinner.” it’s something close to a
mumble and Jimin just looks down at his plate, staying silent. Jungkook doesn’t.
Jungkook doesn’t hold back, he can’t. “So you don’t go out because your fiancé doesn’t want you
to?” Jimin’s hopeful eyes fall on him right away, hiding a thank you behind them.
“It’s not like that.” it’s exactly like that. “Can we— not talk about this?” Jungkook bites down on
his teeth stopping himself from speaking. From asking. Taehyung respects his boundaries, he has
to do the same thing. It’s hard, but he will. Maybe ask slowly, get information slowly.
Because he now knows that something’s definitely not right.
And he can’t let Taehyung keep that going.
“It’s hard to just change topics, it’s the tenth time in ten minutes, I’m running out of ideas.” Jimin
jokes, taking a sip from his soda. “So… Tae, have you decided where you’re going for holidays
when they come?” he asks, going for something to lighten the mood.
“I was thinking Japan. Again, I know, but I love it there. I don’t know if Sik is going to agree but I
hope so. What about you? Where are you going with Hobi?” he says, shoulders relaxing.
“We were thinking about somewhere in Europe, you know that we’re freaking slow with decision
making. Maybe somewhere with beaches…” Jimin shrugs. “Where will you be going for your
holidays?” Jungkook’s startled when the question turns to him, looking between the two.
“I’ve never left Seoul, I don’t really do holidays.” Taehyung blinks. That’s unfortunate, he thinks.
“Oh, well, one day you might. Where would you like to go?”
“Hm… India, Egypt, maybe Thailand. Mexico… I don’t know, I think those would be good
destinations.” he shrugs. “Also Japan, since you mentioned it, I heard it’s really beautiful there.”
“It is, especially if you go to see all the cherry blossom.” Taehyung smiles. “It’s amazing for
pictures, you like taking pictures.” Jimin smiles at them, just taking more food to his mouth. He
likes the idea of Taehyung having a new friend.
Hyungsik doesn’t really give him the freedom to make friends.
He also doesn’t fail to notice how much Jungkook has changed with the years, and just the fact that
he pointed out, with no hesitation, how wrong of Hyungsik it is to say if Taehyung can go out or
not, makes him like Jungkook so much more already.
Taehyung needs a voice of reason to make him finally understand the situation he’s in.
Maybe that’s Jungkook. Maybe he’ll help Taehyung see it.
│►
“Hey, honey.” Jimin smiles as he throws himself to the couch where his boyfriend lays. “How was
your day?” Hoseok pauses the movie on the television, looking back at him.
“It was alright, nothing special. What about yours, hm?” Jimin smiles.
“I had lunch with Tae and Jungkook. He was walking by and we called him to eat with us… well,
he didn’t really eat but he was there with us, he said he ate previously.” he starts, shrugging.
“Oh, is he nice?” Hoseok asks right away. He was just as concerned as Jimin himself, given that he
already knew about their past as well; he wants to be sure that Jungkook is a good person now, that
he’s changed.
“You two would get along. He attacked Hyungsik a little… and I think he was going to say more
but held back, if that vein in his neck was anything to go by. I think he held back because they’re
not that close…” Jimin explains. Hoseok sits up straighter.
“What the fuck, are you serious? That’s so good, Jimin. If they get close and he continues
attacking that piece of shit, Tae may open his eyes.” Hoseok smiles, regarding his boyfriend with a
hopeful glint in his eyes, mirroring Jimin’s.
“I know. It made me so happy. And… not that I was looking but they’d look cute together.” Jimin
giggles. “I know that they’re impossible to happen, or at least not very probable, but I’m telling
you, they’d look so good together. They speak so gently to each other…”
“I have to meet him soon, then.” he combs Jimin’s hair away from his forehead. “As long as he’s a
good guy, I’m alright with it. Anyone but Hyungsik.”
“I know— Oh! Babe, Jungkook suggested something that may solve our problem. We should just
propose at the same time. We’ll both hear those words then.” he smiles. “Like, we count to three
and ask each other at the same time. How’s that?”
“Oh wow… we’re so stupid.” Hoseok drags a hand over his face with a chuckle. “We have to
thank that guy, what a smart man. We have to plan this well, then.”
“Damn right we do. Also plan how to get them together, maybe. Maybe. Perhaps. I wish. He seems
really nice now, totally changed. Really mature.” he hums at his own words.
“I have to meet him first. If I approve of him then we’ll start working on that.”
Jimin smiles. “Perfect.”
│►
“Honey?” Taehyung calls, getting inside their bedroom. “Honey…?” he’s searched the entire
apartment already and his fiancé is nowhere to be found. He sighs. “Sik?” he calls louder, just in
case. “Are you home?” nothing again. Hyungsik usually informs him when he’ll arrive late.
Taehyung sighs again as he just sits down in bed, letting his eyes wander around their shared
bedroom. It’s neat, it always is. Hyungsik wouldn’t allow anything else. Smells amazing as well,
there’s a vanilla-scented candle lit on Taehyung’s bedside table.
Something in his fiancé’s catches his attention and he gets up to go around the bed. He picks it up.
Their engagement ring. He’s confused, rightfully so. Why is that there? His heart drops, scared as
worst-case scenarios come flooding into his mind.
“S-Sik…?” Taehyung rushes to their closet, sighing in relief when he sees it full. “Oh God, thank
you.” he takes a hand to his heart shoulders sagging.
Hyungsik probably just forgot his ring when he left. That’s ok.
That’s normal, isn’t it?
│►
“Hm…” Jungkook sighs in approval. The ramen feels twenty times better after a whole day of
being hungry, Moon eating her own food next to him and it just makes him feel better; it’s almost
as though he’s eating with someone else. He never feels alone when with her.
“Eat everything, baby.” he tells her, his mouth stuffed with noodles. “Daddy’s eating too, focus on
your own.” his chuckle makes her finally go back to her bowl, the munching sounds loud and
filling up the room. He finds them endearing. He does hate chewing sounds, but Moon’s are really
cute.
“You know, today at lunch… well, it was nice. They’re fun, but that’s not the point. Taehyung’s
fiancé sounds like a whole fucking bitch. I’ve never met him but I have a feeling that he’s a really
bad guy.” Moon looks up at him and he hums, as if confirming a question she didn’t even ask.
“Jimin said something about the guy hurting Taehyung that just didn’t sit right. He said ‘again’.
That ‘again’ hasn’t left my mind ever since.” he takes a big gulp from his whiskey, humming to
himself. “It didn’t sit right. At all. If he said ‘again’ then that should mean that it’s happened before
but… what did? To what extent, too?”
Moon’s tail wags from side to side as he pats her torso, fingers threading through her fur. “Maybe I
can get answers if I get information slowly as he does with me…” he theorizes, voice lower. “If
what I think it’s true, I have to— I have to do something or at least try to…”
He sighs. “I can’t let him end up like mom.”
│►
Chapter End Notes
This update was basically just a filler but,,, let's all act like it's not horrible hehe. Let's
discuss...
◄│ 11 │►
Chapter Notes
Taehyung leans down to smell the pancake, humming with a little appreciative smile. It smells
great, the chocolate chips give an extra touch to the aroma. He has tasted one already and, in his
opinion, it tasted as good as it smells. His fiancé should be coming in any second now so he makes
sure to plate the last pancake alongside the others, the fruits cut to perfection, orange juice already
in two glass cups and some coffee made for Hyungsik to take on his drive.
He turns off the television just in time to hear the slippers scrapping on the floor, a very sleepy and
disheveled Hyungsik coming into sight. “Good morning, honey.” Taehyung says with a smile,
getting nothing but a hum. “Did you sleep well?” he still asks, half expecting no reply at all.
“You hug me in the middle of the night, it took me so long to fall asleep again after pushing you
away. You know that I really dislike cuddles, Taehyung.” he sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose
as he takes a small piece of the pancake in his fork. “I work hard, I need to sleep well.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. You know that I always try—”
“Yeah, yeah, you try, yet it still happens every single night, you’re clearly not trying hard enough.”
Taehyung’s smile drops ever so slowly. “These pancakes could use more sugar.”
“I’m sorry, do you want some chocolate syrup? It will make them sweeter…” Taehyung suggests
but his fiancé just waves a hand in the air, silently dismissing the idea. “Also, can I uh, ask you for
something? If that’s ok with you.”
“What is it?” Hyungsik asks with a tired sigh. He has absolutely no patience, especially in the
morning, that’s when it’s at the lowest. “Make it quick, I have to go get ready.” Taehyung stares at
the almost untouched food before looking up. Hyungsik must not be that hungry, he guesses.
“Do you— Do you think that you can make time for a date?” he almost whispers. Hyungsik stops
chewing to send him a displeased look. “I-I just thought that it could be cute. We haven’t gone on a
date in over a year… I miss it, I miss those moments that we shared.”
“We’re engaged, Taehyung, we don’t need dates.” and Taehyung knows that, he knows that he
shouldn’t want to go on dates because Hyungsik has told him countless times that they’re over that
phase. But he can’t help it. Hearing his best friend’s stories always leaves him wishing that he
could experience the same from time to time.
But yet again, Jimin and Hoseok aren’t engaged yet.
They still can go on dates.
“I also can’t just make time for things like that. Remember that my job isn’t like yours, I have big
responsibilities, a lot of things to do, and a lot of people to command.” Taehyung nods. He knows
it as well. He’s aware. He’s heard these words many times.
“I know, honey. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have suggested that.”
“You’re always sorry.” he half-mumbles, barely loud enough for Taehyung to hear. Hyungsik
wipes his mouth with the napkin, putting it on top of the table.
“Won’t you finish eating…?” Taehyung calls after him.
“I’ve lost my appetite.” Hyungsik states, walking out of the kitchen. Taehyung sighs. That’s not
how he imagined that being engaged would be like but, yet again, he’s always based his opinion on
movies and books so he shouldn’t be that surprised that reality ended up being different.
He’s not disappointed, he simply expected something else.
He’s still happy.
│►
Jungkook’s already smiling when he knocks on the door, waiting for a long second before pushing
it open. “Good morning.” he greets. Taehyung raises his eyes from his notes, smiling back
immediately, standing up to bow for him, polite as always.
“Hey, Jungkook.” the latter closes the door behind himself, walking closer to take off his jacket
and hang it. “How are you feeling today?” Taehyung asks, sitting back down.
“I’m alright. A little… uhm, I drank a little more this morning but I promise that I ran to get it out
of my system before coming here.” he smiles and it’s so pure, so honest, that Taehyung can’t even
be upset. He’s telling him the truth, that’s a big step. Honesty and trust are always a big step.
“That’s alright. Has it worn off?” Taehyung asks, tone gentle and careful.
“I believe so, yes.” Jungkook chuckles as he sits down in front of Taehyung, as always. He watches
as his therapist turns the timer on, forty-five minutes to be precise, searching for any sign of
Taehyung’s fiancé on his skin again. He will pay more attention now.
“So, what do you want to talk about today, hm?” he asks, resting back. Jungkook is incredibly
thankful for the freedom that Taehyung gives him, how he doesn’t ask the questions, only if
needed.
“Can we talk about something other than me?” Taehyung tilts his head but nods, motioning for
him to go on. “I’m curious about you. You’re getting married soon, right?” Jungkook asks.
“Yes, I am. In five months.” he nods with a little smile. Jungkook can tell that he’s excited about
the idea of getting married, so he feels even worse about the whole ordeal. “We’ve been engaged
for a long time so it’s nice that it’s finally happening, you know?”
“Yes, yes.” Jungkook agrees, mind somewhere else. “About that fiancé of yours, is he nice? Are
you happy together?” he rests back on the couch, trying to look as unbothered as possible. He
doesn’t want Taehyung to think that he’s just simply being nosy. He’s trying to get information.
“Yes, we are. He’s very busy with work but— yeah. We manage.” Taehyung shrugs.
“Oh. I see. I hope that he still makes time for the two of you. You know, nights out, a date here and
there, all that good stuff.” Taehyung furrows his eyebrows, smile turning into a small, puzzled
frown. “Why that face? You look like you don’t agree with me.”
“We’re engaged, we don’t need dates.” Jungkook tilts his head. What? “We don’t… need them…”
Taehyung tries to add, a little unsure now under Jungkook’s confused gaze.
“Did he tell you that?” Taehyung’s expression shifts a little more, trying to close off, and that’s all
the confirmation that Jungkook needs. “Can I… Can I tell you a story, Taehyung?” he unfolds his
legs, leaning closer to the center table, regarding his therapist with warm, caring eyes.
“Yes, of course.” Taehyung smiles at him, still clueless. “Go ahead.”
“A couple of years back… there was a lady. Pretty, really pretty. Full of life, with dreams and
ambition.” Jungkook smiles, empty eyes now glued to the coffee table. “Everyone in school was
after her, not only was she so attractive, but she was also incredibly nice. She was… too good to see
the bad side in everyone. And guess what?”
“What?” Taehyung whispers softly. He doesn’t want to interrupt Jungkook’s thoughts.
“She ended up with an absolute asshole that was amazing at first. The perfect guy, nice and
handsome. A little older, already working while she was in her last high school year. It made her
feel stable, grown-up… responsible. Do you want to know more?” he chuckles humorlessly.
Taehyung just stares at the expression on the other’s face. He’s not really there, he’s not waiting
for an answer. Jungkook’s eyes are wide, looking at the table and the table only, hands shaking just
slightly. Almost unnoticeable, but Taehyung’s paying attention.
“He got her pregnant without even liking kids. She loved him, though, so even when— when he
forgot that she was human, she endured it. Endured the insults, the slaps, the punches, the screams
— Endured it so much that she stopped seeing them. That happens, Taehyung. People don’t see the
shit they have at home sometimes, you know this much better than I do.” their eyes meet and
Taehyung can’t ignore the tears threatening to spill from Jungkook’s.
He looks distant. “Jung—”
“My mom— You—” Jungkook opens his mouth to go on but stops, looking down at the table
again. He’s never talked about them. He’s never told anyone that story. His chest feels all too tight.
Now he said it. Why did he say it? He shouldn’t have done it.
“Hey, Jungkook, hey.” Taehyung calls as the other’s breathing speeds up, hands shaking even
more. “Jungkook?” nothing. “Hyung?” that seems to do it, his tear-filled eyes lifting up to look at
him instead. “It’s ok, you don’t have to go on.” Taehyung whispers, hesitantly reaching out for
Jungkook’s hands, cupping them between his own, soft and warm.
“She’s— You— I—” Jungkook tries to swallow the lump in his throat but nothing comes out
anyway. Taehyung squeezes his hand reassuringly. The therapist doesn’t miss the way his eyes go
completely empty, unfocusing from him and latching back onto the floor instead. “Can you just
talk, please. Random stories, just speak...”
Taehyung nods, dragging himself further to the verge of the couch, squeezing his hand again
before he nods again, growing worried at just how out of it Jungkook looks. “Alright. Alright, try
to breathe slowly, please.” his therapist instructs.
He does his best to come up with something, the random stories that Jungkook asked for, tries to
gain his attention again. And he stays in the exact same position, eyes on the floor, watering from
time to time, showing how he’s obviously thinking about something, whatever it may be.
Taehyung just tries to fill the session with stories that come up to his head, knowing just how hard
it must be for the older man to open up about his past if he’s gotten this way after doing so when it
wasn’t even that deep into it nor detailed.
He just wants to help, so he doesn’t bring it up for the remaining time.

“…and Jimin didn’t know what to do. It was pretty funny.” Taehyung laughs quietly, pure worry
slipping through the sound. Jungkook doesn’t react to this story either, the same way he didn’t to
the other ones that Taehyung told him previously. “Are you ok?” he doesn’t get an answer, not
even when the timer goes off. “Hey, Jungkook, please.”
“Yes, right.” Jungkook chuckles, pretending to be listening. Taehyung can practically see the way
his thoughts don’t stop running behind his eyes and it pains him to see someone just so out of it.
Jungkook’s mind is not in the right place.
“Hyung, c’mon.” he uses the same word again given it seems to wake something inside the older
man, perhaps some sense of responsibility. Jungkook looks confused. “The session is over…”
Jungkook looks down at the timer, seeing how it really is back to zero. “Oh. Right.” he smiles,
wiping his eyes with the back of his hands after pulling them away from Taehyung’s. “Thank you.”
Taehyung watches as he gets up, smile still on his face. Taehyung knows better.
“Sit down for a second, will you?” he asks. Jungkook obeys.
“What’s wrong?” he’s still smiling and Taehyung wants to ask so many questions but he’s learned
with experience that it’s better to wait for the natural flow of things. So he doesn’t ask, he keeps
everything saved in the back of his mind to be asked someday.
“Is your friend waiting?” Jungkook nods. “Alright, stay here for a little bit. I’ll be back.” he smiles
without showing his teeth, getting up from the couch, only to walk over to the door. He takes a
glance back, the older man still not showing any sign of the smallest reaction.
He rushes to the waiting room. “Seokjin?” he calls, their eyes meeting soon enough. “Can you
come here for a second, please?” the older man is quick on his feet, walking over to him.
“Is everything alright, doctor?” Seokjin asks.
“Jungkook talked about something from his past and he’s so lost in his thoughts right now that he’s
entered some headspace where I can’t even properly talk to him. I’m going to ask you to watch him
for a little.” Taehyung says, voice only loud enough for Seokjin to hear.
“A headspace? What does that mean?” he immediately inquires. “Is he ok?”
“He’s ok, he’s just a little out of it. Don’t ask him questions about it, just… don’t leave him alone,
alright?” Taehyung motions for him to follow so that they can go back into the office.
“Of course, I’ll call Yoongi, we’ll go to his place… is there anything that I can do to help him at
all?” Seokjin still asks, concern obvious in his tone. “We’ll do anything.”
“Just don’t ask. I’ve seen this happening many, many times. Patients start diving deep into their
memories and get into things that they don’t want to remember. Then this happens. He’ll be ok,
just give him a few hours, maybe even less.” Taehyung smiles.
“Alright, thank you for letting me know. I’ll do my best to distract him.”
│►
“C’mon.” Seokjin motions for Jungkook to follow when the door opens, Yoongi standing on the
other side. Moon barks happily at the sight of her owner.
“What— baby.” Jungkook smiles, genuinely this time. “What is she doing here?” he squats, petting
her head with both of his hands. She nuzzles into his neck, his chest, pulling back only to lick his
cheek a few times. She always tries to lick him everywhere on his face upon arrival.
“I sent Yoongi a text so that he would get her and takeout. We’ll have lunch, alright?” Jungkook
nods, pulling himself back onto his feet.
“Is he ok?” Yoongi whispers as he drags Seokjin to the kitchen, Jungkook heading for the couch
with Moon. “What did Taehyung tell you?”
“That he shared something from his past and that’s why he’s so… quiet now. This is good news,
Yoongs, he’s opening up at last.” he smiles proudly.
“He doesn’t look that good, though… is it good for him to open up if this is what happens to him
after?” Yoongi sighs, getting the takeout boxes. “I’m worried, he looked almost void.”
“Taehyung said that it’s normal and that he’ll be right back to his usual state. He just needs to stop
thinking and shouldn’t be alone. Oh, Taehyung also told me not to ask anything about it so don’t
bring it up.” Yoongi nods, the instructions clear enough.
“Let’s join him on the couch.” he suggests, taking his and Jungkook’s food, settling by his side on
the sofa. “Here, Kooks.” Yoongi hands the box over alongside a pair of chopsticks.
“I’m not hungry.” Jungkook replies without even thinking, completely ignoring the growling of his
stomach. Yoongi looks over at the other man in the room, both mirroring each other’s concerned
frown.
“You should still eat. I’m not hungry either. You’ll eat as much as I will, then.” Jungkook sighs,
grabbing the box as Moon stands right in front of them, pleading eyes shifting between her owner
and the food. “I gave you food, go eat yours.” Yoongi scolds.
“Don’t talk to her like that, she’ll be sad.” Jungkook mumbles, taking a piece of meat from his box
to give her. “Sit down.” she does, immediately, and only then does he feed her.
“She’s so spoiled.” Seokjin chuckles, sitting down on the other side. “Let’s watch a movie, all
cuddled up, hm? It’s been a while since we’ve done that, we’re always so damn busy.”
“As long as you don’t cling onto me.” Jungkook jokes, making the other two smile. “And make it
horror, please.” he requests.
“Horror? You’re asking me to cling onto you.”
│►
Taehyung looks back at Hyungsik, making sure that he’s focused on the television before he grabs
his phone and his notes and heads to the balcony. His fingers are quick to go through the pages,
stopping at the one where he has the phone numbers assigned to their patients.
He copies Seokjin’s number, staring at it for a few seconds. He can’t just reach out to patients like
this outside of his workspace but he’s worried. Jungkook’s not just his patient, he’s his friend too,
isn’t he? Taehyung likes to believe so. They’ve had lunch together and even went to the park the
other day to watch the sunset and talk; they’re surely friends to some extent.
Taehyung takes a deep breath in, pressing the call button. The ring makes him nervous as he looks
back again to make sure that his fiancé is nowhere to be seen. Hyungsik is still looking at the
television. Good.
Seokjin picks up after some seconds. “Hey? Who’s this?” he asks.
“Hey. It’s uh, it’s Taehyung. I took your number from the files, I hope that’s ok…” he says with an
awkward smile, voice as low as he can make it sound while still being coherent.
“Oh, it’s alright. Is everything ok?” Seokjin chuckles. Taehyung is quick to bite down on his
bottom lip, taking one step further away from the sliding glass door.
“Yes, I’m alright. I just wanted to ask if Jungkook is feeling any better…”
“Yeah, he is. He’s already pretty much back to normal, I believe. We watched some movies and
annoyed him the whole afternoon. He’s not quiet anymore or all… lost.” he explains with a calm
tone. If Taehyung had to guess, he’d say that Seokjin is most likely smiling.
“That’s a relief.” Taehyung can feel his shoulders relaxing. “I’m glad. I’m glad that he had you
guys by his side.”
“We’d never leave one alone in a moment of need.” and that makes him smile. That’s exactly what
Jungkook needs around him.
“That’s good to hear. Well, I’ll get going then, I was just checking up on him.” he almost whispers,
suddenly all too aware of his surroundings.
“That’s alright. Thank you for checking up on him, he’ll be happy to know.” Taehyung bites his
bottom lip again. “I’ll leave you to it now.” with some last words of a goodbye and wishes of a
good night, Taehyung ends the call with a relieved sigh.
Then he smiles at the good news, turning around to go back inside.
“Oh—” he’s startled as he finds his fiancé standing there with his arms crossed. “Sik…”
“Who were you talking to?” he asks and Taehyung looks down, quick in his steps to walk back
inside. Hyungsik follows suit. “Answer my question and don’t turn your back at me, Taehyung.”
“It was just Jimin…” he’s a terrible liar. A hand takes a hold of his forearm, turning him around in
one swift move. He feels it before he even sees the movement of his fiancé’s arm, the sharp pain
hitting him so hard and suddenly that he loses his balance.
“Why were you fucking calling Jungkook?!” his fiancé screams. Taehyung takes his fingers to his
lip, seeing the red liquid staining them. “It’s the third fucking time that you come home with that
name around you. Third.”
“H-He’s just my patient.” Taehyung says as he sits up, fingers still on his lip. Hyungsik has never
made him bleed before. It feels weird. It didn’t feel like just a punishment like he has been
explained it to be. It definitely felt wrong, felt different now.
But Taehyung doesn’t question it. He can’t.
“He’s a patient?” Hyungsik chuckles. “Then he’s not anymore.” Taehyung looks at him, visibly
confused. “Get up.” he obeys like he always does. There’s a hand on his jaw right away, grip
bruising. “It’s him or me, Taehyung. And careful with what you say.”
Taehyung closes his eyes with a silent sob. He doesn’t have to think. It’s so obvious.
“It’s you, honey. It will always be you.” his fiancé nods, pleased. That’s what he was waiting for.
The answer that always gets his sick smile to appear.
“Tomorrow, when you get to the clinic, you’re going to transfer him to someone else, another
doctor, to another clinic, a fucking vet for all I care. Understood?” he asks, grip tightening. “If he’s
just a patient then I want him gone. Transfer him. Do you get it?”
“Yes. Yes, I do.” Taehyung nods. “I will transfer him to Namjoon first thing in the morning.” he
promises, hand grabbing his fiancé’s wrist. “You’re hurting me, Sik…” the blonde whispers.
Hyungsik smiles, letting go. “I’m glad to hear that you’re going to do the right thing. Shall we go
to bed now? You’re bleeding, go clean that up, clumsy.” Taehyung blinks, nodding.
“Yes, bed sounds good.” he smiles through his tears and the blood staining his teeth.
“I love you, clean that up.” Hyungsik says with a forced smile, caressing Taehyung’s hip.
“I love you too. I will. I’ll join you in bed soon.” Taehyung assures.
So yes, Jungkook was right. As always.
Some people don’t see what they have at home.
│►
Chapter End Notes
I hate Hyungsik .
Let's discuss...
◄│ 12 │►
Taehyung inhales sharply, looking once again at the files in his hands. It’s hard. It’s really hard to
read over Jungkook’s name when he knows what he’s going to be doing in a matter of minutes or
even seconds if he manages to be courageous enough. It’s really hard to go for it.
But it’s something that has to be done.
He sighs to himself as he knocks on the door, pushing it open almost hesitantly. “Excuse me, can I
come in?” Taehyung peeks inside the office, seeing his coworker sitting alone by his desk, some
papers in front of him. Their eyes meet and they both smile.
“Sure, Tae, come on in.” Namjoon waves at him to get closer and Taehyung gulps as he closes the
door once inside. “Is everything ok?” he asks, curious. “Did something happen?”
“Nothing happened, I just have something to go over with you, if that’s ok.” Taehyung forces a
smile, taking a few steps closer to Namjoon’s desk. “If you don’t have time right now, I can come
back later or we can also do this right before leaving, it’s ok.”
“No, no, I have an empty spot, which is why I’m alone right now. What is it?” he stands up,
looking at the papers that his coworker is holding. “What’s that?” he asks, head tilting slightly.
“Just uh, some papers for you to sign…” Taehyung half explains as he puts them down on the
desk. His chest feels tight, he doesn’t really want to do what he’s about to do, but he can’t possibly
fight his fiancé on it. He has his hands tied.
Namjoon picks the stack of papers up, reading over the title. “Transfer? Who?”
“Just one of my patients. Remember Jungkook? That’s him. I need to transfer him to you, if that’s
ok. Otherwise I’ll just ask another therapist. I came to you because you’re the one who I put my
trust on the hardest out of everyone working here.” Taehyung speaks through the lump in his
throat, hands shaking a little. He really doesn’t want to be doing this.
“Oh, thank you so much… but why do you want to transfer him? Are the consultations not going
well?” he asks as he puts the papers back down, a little confused. “Any problems?”
“Well… they uh, they were but… I know him from some years ago and there’s some conflict of
stories going on. I guess I’m not fitting to take him in since we’re not strangers. You two have no
past, no history, you’d be great.” Taehyung explains with a forged smile. “So, will you take him?”
“Yeah, sure. Just give me every information that you already have of him so that I can be up to
date.” Namjoon shrugs. “It’ll be easier for me to catch up to his progress.”
“I can’t. He has to open up to you by choice, I can’t be the one telling you. He’s twenty-seven,
though. Jeon Jungkook, it’s his full name. I’m sorry but he has a hard time opening up and I’ll feel
horrible if I just share it myself.” he excuses as he points at the papers. “Sign the papers and give
them back to the front desk, please.”
His coworker nods. “Alright, Tae, I will.”
│►
“Dude.” Jungkook hears but makes no move to look over to his coworker. “I was this fucking close
to fucking throw punches.” that does get his attention right away and so he has to perk up,
watching as his coworker comes back in, the door dinging to announce an entrance.
“What happened? Are you alright?” Jungkook examines his coworker, searching for any signs of a
fight. He doesn’t look hurt in the slightest so he takes that nothing major happened.
“The man that I just helped out outside was so rude, I hate mornings.” Yugyeom rolls his eyes with
an annoyed expression. “I was going to punch him, he was so fucking arrogant.”
“Violence is never the solution for anything. Literally anything. Don’t punch someone just because
you’re mad or annoyed.” Jungkook sighs, going back to his drawing. “Just solve it by talking, be
the smartest out of the two, don’t punch anyone.”
“Have you never… punched someone?” Yugyeom asks with a chuckle. “Seriously?”
“I have. Many times. I grew up, though. Being violent does you no good.” he shrugs, putting the
pen down and crumbling the sheet of paper between his palm. “I was an idiot as a teenager.”
“Oh…” Yugyeom drags with a teasing tone. “Were you the rebellious high schooler that the girls
want because he’s dark and mean?” Jungkook chuckles, shaking his head. That sounds accurate.
“Honestly? Yes, I was, and I hate it. I could be remembered as someone nice and I… I can be
remembered as an asshole and a bully and that’s not cool.” he can see his coworker opening his
mouth to ask more questions and so he’s quick to stop him. “Just don’t hit people, that’s it.”
“Alright.” they both lean onto the counter, bored. “Do you have plans for later?” Yugyeom asks.
“I never have plans.” Jungkook laughs at himself. “Why? What do you want?”
“I was thinking about going to a bar, tonight it will be an event so it’s free drinks. Don’t ask me
why, though, I don’t know what the event is. I was informed by a friend so I’m going. Do you
want to tag along?” booze? Free booze? How can he possibly say no to that?!
“Yeah, I can go.” Jungkook nods. “Give me a time and a place.”
“Shit, look at us. Being such buddies.” Yugyeom jokes, throwing his arm over the other’s shoulder.
“We’re barely buddies, go away.” he pushes him away, trying to keep his smile in. Yugyeom rolls
his eyes with a scoff. “Are you leaving me in the middle of the night for a hookup?”
“Probably.” Jungkook raises an eyebrow at the honesty.
“Can I take back—”
“No.” he shakes his head. “You’re coming, just find someone too, dude. You’re almost forty, you
have to lose your virginity sooner or later.” Yugyeom jokes, giggling. Ever since they began
working together, only he has shared stories of hookups, never heard any from Jungkook. Not a
single one, but it’s not like Jungkook shares anything to begin with.
“I’m not a v— you know what, shut up. I’m also not almost fucking forty, that’s such a sad thing to
say, I’m not even thirty yet.” he mumbles the ending, walking away. “Don’t make me change my
mind and leave you to go there alone, all by yourself.”
Yugyeom gasps. “You wouldn’t!”
“Just you try me.”

│►
Taehyung sits down on the couch, the warm mug relaxing him as he holds it between his palms as
his best friends talk about something that he can’t focus on. Then he feels a hand on his knee,
tapping it to get his attention. “What’s wrong? You look down.” Jimin asks.
“I did something that I’m… not happy with.” he sighs, rubbing his eyes. “I’m not happy with it at
all but it had to be done.” Jimin shares a concerned look with his boyfriend, opening his mouth to
speak and ask. “I still feel so incredibly guilty, either way.” Taehyung is faster to go on.
“Did you break up with that ass?” Hoseok asks and Jimin holds back a smile at the prospect.
“No! Don’t even say that, oh my Goodness.” Taehyung frowns even more. “I just uh… I
transferred Jungkook to Namjoon…” he sighs, looking down at his lap, looking as guilty as ever.
“You what? Why?!” Jimin asks, voice louder with both surprise and worry. “I thought the sessions
were going well…? You said that he was making progress and everything lately.”
“They were going well… Sik doesn’t like him, though, because I was once reading Jungkook’s
notes at home and he didn’t like that. He asked me to transfer Jungkook, so I did it, I had to do it,
it’s my fiancé...” Hoseok laughs humorlessly, head thrown back in disbelief.
“I want to kill him.” he mutters to himself. “So you’re going to jeopardize someone’s progress
because Hyungsik doesn’t… like him? He never even met the guy, why would you ever do such a
thing? I can’t understand what went through your mind to take such action. I can’t.”
“Hobi… my fiancé comes before a patient and Jungkook’s a patient, nothing else.” Taehyung says,
swallowing the lump in his throat. “Hyungsik comes before anyone else besides my family and, in
most scenarios, the two of you as my best friends.”
“He’s a patient and nothing else? Really? I didn’t know that you have lunch with all of your
patients.” Jimin speaks, for the first time, he does. “He may be a patient but he’s also your friend
and he confines in you, he trusts you, he found comfort in you, someone who he can trust and
you’re going to possibly take that away from him just because Hyungsik decided he doesn’t like
him? Solely based on the fact that you were reading your notes and doing your job?” Taehyung
stays silent, doesn’t know how to answer that question.
“It’s not like that.” again, it’s exactly like that. “I have to respect it if my fiancé doesn’t like
something. He asked me to transfer Jungkook so I did. I’m not essential to his progress, he can start
trusting Namjoon now instead.”
“How do you know that?” Jimin asks. “How do you know that, Tae?” he repeats.
“I… I don’t know. But if he was able to trust me, then he can trust anyone. I’m sure that Namjoon
will be able to get him to open up even faster than I did. After all, I know so little of him yet.”
“I think this is one of the worst decisions you’ve ever made so far…” Jimin sighs, rubbing his
eyes.
“The first being engaged to that—”
“Hobi, please.” Taehyung whines. “Can you not say hurtful things about him for once? Just once,
I’m asking you just this much. Please, I don’t want to keep listening to this over and over again.”
“If I didn’t have reasons to speak, I would gladly be quiet.” he still says, calming down when Jimin
places a hand on his thigh. “I’m sorry, you know that I hate him, Tae.”
“I know, but he’s my fiancé and I just want you to respect him. Please.” Taehyung pouts.
“That… will never happen.” Hoseok shrugs. “But let’s talk about something else.”
│►
Jungkook sighs to himself, rotating the cup in his hand. The whiskey’s definitely stronger,
probably from an expensive brand and not the one that he always gets at the grocery store that
costs him less than ten bucks. Yugyeom has gone missing about twenty minutes ago and he’s been
thinking about anything and everything over countless glasses of whiskey.
The bartender doesn’t even have to be told anymore. He just grabs his empty cup to fill it back.
There are people always sitting down on both his sides only to get drinks and leave again and he’s
lost count on how many times he’s heard the word ‘sorry’ after getting hit by a random elbow or a
purse. He feels pathetic in a way. He’s almost thirty, drinking at a bar alone. Somehow it feels
even more pathetic than drinking at home alone.
Jungkook unlocks his phone just to check the time, sighing at the realization that it’s past one in the
morning. He has work the very next day and yet there he is. He doesn’t even know where his
coworker has disappeared into and he should’ve seen it coming. He still had faith in Yugyeom.
“Cute dog.” he hears from his side and so he turns, seeing a new person, not the one that was there
just a few seconds ago. “On your wallpaper.” she adds with a little gesture after seeing his confused
expression. “Almost as cute as the owner.” he raises an eyebrow as the woman in front of him
picks her glass up, taking a small sip.
“Is that so?” Jungkook tilts his head with a little smirk, ignoring his mind yelling at him to run
away as fast as possible because he hasn’t flirted with anyone in years and he doesn’t even know
what he’s doing or what lines to use, he’s rusty when it comes to flirting.
“Yes, I do believe so.” his eyes follow as her hand travels to his shoulder, slowly sliding down to
his bicep. “Hm.” she giggles, appreciative, as she squeezes it gently. “These are really nice.”
“Having fun?” he asks with a smile. She meets his eyes with another giggle, nodding. “I’m
Jungkook.” he introduces himself, deciding to just go for it. Confidence always makes people more
attractive, he knows that much, so he’ll use it in his own favor. He’s confident in himself.
“Yun.” she holds her glass in the air for him to do a small cheer and he does, their glasses clinking
together. “Is that whiskey? Tough day?” Jungkook shrugs as he takes a sip.
“Had better.” he smiles, leaning against the counter with one arm to face her. She’s pretty. Very
pretty. Delicate features only enhanced by the faint makeup Jungkook can see on her skin, a bright
red lipstick adorning her lips, and dark black hair perfectly curled.
“You’re staring.” she jokes, taking her hand to his bicep again, resting it there almost lazily.
“You’re only talking to me because I have a cute dog, I get to stare while you’re here.” he jokes
back, sipping more from his drink. Yun laughs, the sound bubbly, hair falling over her eye.
“I’ve been gathering the courage to approach you for about twenty minutes.” Jungkook raises an
eyebrow. “My friends are so done with me and ‘the hot guy at the bar’ talk. I was nervous.”
“You could’ve come here sooner then.” Jungkook takes the strand of fallen hair, locking it behind
her ear. Maybe it’s the blush on her cheeks or just the confident attitude, Jungkook isn’t quite sure
what drags him in. Perhaps it’s the way that her smile makes the night not look as bad as it did just
some minutes ago.
Or maybe it’s just the fact that he hasn’t been with anyone in years, because the second she
whispers in his ear that she lives across the street, they’re both getting up from their stools as their
hands find each other to hold onto.
She walks in front, pulling him to follow, drinks forgotten on the counter. Yun grabs his arms to
cross them over her stomach, getting him to back hug her smaller figure once they cross the road,
both stumbling just a little.
Jungkook smiles against the skin of her neck in between small kisses as she giggles, fumbling with
the keys to her house. Quickly enough, she’s turning around and pressing him against the closed
door, hands on both sides of his neck. “Are you going to leave while I sleep?”
“Already thinking about me leaving when we haven’t even started yet?” he asks with an eyebrow
raised, bending down just enough to lift her up in his arms. She crosses her legs behind his back
with a little surprised sound as her hands grab onto his biceps again, appreciative of the strength
displayed so suddenly; her short dress rolling up her hips.
“I’m just making sure that I’m not hooking up with an ass.”
Jungkook hums, pressing her against the door so one of his hands can slide up her thigh as mouths
at her neck, Yun letting out breathy moans as his fingers get to her panties, exposed by the way her
dress has risen. “You can relax then. I’m not an asshole.”
“The bed— shit.” she requests against his lips. “Take me to the bed.”
“What was that?” Jungkook tilts his head.
“Please.”
That does it. “Of course, the bed it is.”
│►
“Kookie?” he hears the small voice and he’s fast to wipe away his tears. “Kookie…? Why are you
crying? W-What happened?” Jungkook forces a smile out, eyes blood-shot red.
“Nothing happened, princess, everything is ok, why did you get out of bed?” Jungkook asks as he
crouches down to be more of her size even though only three years don’t make that much of a
difference between their heights.
“Daddy was yelling…” she whispers. “Can I sleep with you?” Jungkook gulps, cleaning up the
blood on his lip. “M-Mommy was crying too, and now you’re crying... why?”
“Mom wasn’t crying, no one is crying, ok? Let’s get you to bed.” he smiles, picking her up though
he’s not that strong. Yet. He likes to believe that he’ll grow up to be a strong man.
As he places her in bed, the door to his bedroom is pushed open so hard that it hits the wall. They
both jump in place, startled. “Jungkook.” his dad almost growls. “Come here, you son of a b—”
“Jungkook? Jungkook, hey, wake up.” the aforementioned sits up in a second, eyes going wide as
he inhales sharply, trying to regain his conscience. “Are you ok?” he blinks a few times, confused
by the voice next to him. Moon?! She can’t talk.
Oh. Yun.
“You’re sweating, come here…” he feels a tissue dabbing over his forehead but he’s faster at
grabbing her wrist and pulling it away, stopping her kind gesture.
“I have to go.” it’s a weak whisper as he gets up from bed, the cold air hitting his naked body right
away. Yun rubs her eyes with a confused frown, watching him get dressed as quickly as possible,
almost tripping while putting on his pants.
“Was it a nightmare? We can talk about it.” Jungkook looks back at her as he puts his leather
jacket on, giving her a weak smile and a shake of the head. “No?”
“You’re sweet and all of that but I’m going to have to say no.” he rejects the idea.
She rolls her eyes, sitting up as she holds the sheets over her chest. “So you’re leaving?” Yun asks
with a smile, recalling their conversation from earlier. Jungkook catches on right away.
“You’re not sleeping.” he smiles back, grabbing his phone from the bedside table. She chuckles,
laying back down. “Perhaps I’ll see you again.”
“Perhaps, yeah. I had a good time. Good company, good looks and a good dick? Hm, I’ll have it
again.” she winks at him who just chuckles before leaving her bedroom. As soon as the door
closes, he squeezes his eyes together, fighting the urge to cry.
What was he thinking? Falling asleep like that, especially with a stranger? It’s not like his theory
could ever be correct. Cuddling would never help him sleep without being haunted by nightmares
of memories he thought were long forgotten.
It’s something he has to accept, he realizes.
He will never get rid of it.
Ever.
│►
“Shh…!” he tries to quiet Moon down, too late for her to be barking freely. The walls are paper
thin and he can’t afford to have noise complaints, he’s already in debt with his landlord. He also
has no idea of how he’s going to solve that problem but he can think about it later.
Now, he feels tired. Not only from crying most of the walk back home but also from thinking so
much about the dream. He didn’t even remember what he saw. He dreamt it, but he had no
recollection of that moment anymore. Why can’t he go back to good memories instead?
“I’m sorry that I’m coming so late, baby.” he tells her as he sits down in bed, throwing his shirt to
the floor, somewhere that he can find the next day. “I was with someone, it’s been such a long time
that it feels weird.” Jungkook chuckles, falling back into the bed.
“I can’t wait to tell Tae in the next session, he will probably feel proud that I went out there again,
right? I whined like five times already about wanting a relationship, he’ll be happy, I believe.” he
smiles again, opening the first drawer to take a bottle out.
Rough day? Rough life.
“Ah, it feels nice knowing that I have someone apart from you to share these things with, and Tae
is always open to hearing me talk about literally whatever. I’m so glad that I agreed to seek
therapy, even if it’s so expensive…” he takes a long sip before sighing.
“I should be sleeping already, I can’t be late tomorrow. I’m never doing this shit again.”
│►
◄│ 13 │►
Chapter Notes
“Why are you so excited? It’s seven in the morning.” Seokjin asks, a little dumbfounded, still
rubbing his eyes as his best friend almost jogs in front of him. That’s the most excited he’s ever
seen Jungkook — apart from anything that involves Moon.
“I feel like this is the first time that I have good news to share with him, hurry up, Jin!” he
chuckles, motioning for the other to walk faster. And so he does, a tired yet happy jog to be able to
follow Jungkook up close. His best friend is already giving his identification card when he finally
gets inside the clinic, chatting away with the lady at the front desk.
“Go to the third door instead, please. You will see a Dr. Kim sign on the door.” she smiles, giving
him the same paper as always. Jungkook furrows his eyebrows with visible confusion but nods
nonetheless. Did Taehyung get a new office?
“Alright, thank you so much.” he mirrors her smile, albeit still clueless.
“Have a good session.” the woman wishes as he bows, turning to his best friend again and taking a
few steps away from the desk, smile falling the second that his back is towards her.
“You’re way too excited, he’ll think that you’re either getting married or that you won the lottery.”
Seokjin says with a smile that only widens as his best friend laughs. “I’ll be here waiting here for
you, go on.” he sits down, grabbing the daily magazine from one of the tables.
“Alright, I’ll see you in a bit.” Jungkook bites the inside of his cheek to put his smile away,
walking over to the third door instead of the first, where Taehyung usually gave his consultations.
He knocks once, pushing it open. “Good m—” his feet stop, brows furrowing as he grows
impossibly more confused. “—morning…” Jungkook still finishes, eyes locked with a doctor that
he has never seen before. “I’m sorry, I got the wrong room.” he’d swear he counted the doors right.
“Jeon Jungkook?” the man asks as he gets up and Jungkook can only nod, confused. “You didn’t
get the wrong room, please come in.” he closes the door slowly, taking a careful step closer with a
wary expression. He doesn’t like the atmosphere.
“I’m sorry, I’m confused… what’s happening? Where’s Taehyung?” he laughs a little awkwardly
looking around the room. It doesn’t look as comfy as Taehyung’s even though there aren't many
differences to it. The feeling is different, the air itself feels thicker.
“Come, sit down.” Namjoon points to the couch in front of him as he himself sits and Jungkook
still obeys even if he doesn’t understand why he’s there with someone who isn’t his therapist.
“Did something happen to Taehyung…?” he asks, leaning a little closer. “If he’s sick or something
then I can just come back another day, it’s alright.”
“No, thankfully. Dr. Kim transferred you into my care. I will be the one assisting you from now on
during these consultations.” Jungkook stares at him, mouth opening the slightest. “Don’t worry, he
hasn’t shared anything that you have told him so you can go at your own pace. Though I ask a lot
of questions, I believe Dr. Kim and I may have different methods of work…”
He can see the doctor’s mouth moving but he doesn’t register the words anymore.
Taehyung transferred him?
Taehyung gave up on him.
Taehyung finally realized how much of a failure his progress was being. He got transferred.
Maybe there’s a reason, he thinks. Maybe Taehyung’s retiring early, who knows. Changing clinics,
perhaps. Maybe there’s something else going on. “Why did I get transferred?” Jungkook interrupts,
blinking away the tears that want to form. He’s not going to cry in front of a stranger.
“I’m not supposed to tell you…” the therapist says but Jungkook only hardens his eyes, stare
pleading. “Well, I believe that Dr. Kim thought that there was some sort of conflict between
stories. Your pasts. I don’t know what pasts those are but they’re…” he tunes out.
He thought that Taehyung had forgiven him. Of course he didn’t. Jungkook doesn’t forgive himself
so why would Taehyung? He has no reason to forgive someone that made his life a living hell
during an entire high school year. How could Taehyung forgive that?
“I should go.” Jungkook sniffs, getting up. “Thanks for telling me.” Namjoon gets up too, taking a
step closer. “I won’t be returning so just trash my files, if you’d like. I’ll leave now.”
“Jungkook, please let’s sit down and think rationally.” he urges but the older man just shakes his
head with his eyes closed tight. He really doesn’t want to break down in front of a stranger.
“I’m thinking very well and I want to go home right now.” Jungkook completely ignores the calls
of his name as he rushes out of the office, recognizing that he’s being rude to a doctor that didn’t
do anything wrong, but he can’t care for it at the moment.
He stops for a moment in the hallway, looking towards Taehyung’s door for a second but it only
makes him feel worse. He got transferred, he got dropped. Taehyung dropped him.
“Hey, can you give me a ride to the gas station? Taehyung isn’t feeling well and he’ll reschedule
our meeting for another day.” he lies, smiling as his best friend gets up with a confused frown upon
seeing him so soon after leaving for his session. “Please?”
“Of course I’ll give you a ride, but are you ok…?” Seokjin still asks.
“I’m perfect, I’ll just keep the news for next time.” Jungkook smiles again. “Let’s go?”
“Yeah, of course, I’ll drop you there.”
│►
Jungkook inhales sharply to try to keep his tears away but they don’t seem to want to leave his
eyes. They don’t fall down either, they just annoyingly pool in his eyes. He has to go inside and
work, get the chance to get paid for the full shift since he has only left for about an hour. A wasted
hour. He shouldn’t have even attempted to go.
Ever. He should’ve never looked for a therapist to begin with. He should’ve never had the thought
of getting better. This is all he’ll ever have, a shitty job, with a shitty apartment and shitty booze.
This is the life he deserves considering everything that he’s done in the past.
“Dude? What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be in therapy right now?” Yugyeom asks as he
gets up from the cashier’s chairs with his eyebrows furrowed. Jungkook just scoffs.
“Don’t you have your own damn life to worry about?” Jungkook snaps, not even able to feel bad
about his words. His chest feels tight, he’s beyond stressed, he needs a drink. He really needs a
drink more than ever before, his throat has never felt this dry.
“I just asked you a question, no need for that nasty attitude.” he watches as his coworker collects
two bottles of the cheapest whiskey from the displayed items. “What are you doing? Jungkook,
what are you d—”
“Stop asking questions. I’m so tired of you and everyone asking questions, can’t you all just mind
your own fucking business?!” Jungkook puts the bottles down in front of Yugyeom and his
coworker gapes. “You ask questions and get my fucking trust only to—” he stops. “Sell me this.”
“It’s eight in the morning, I’m not—”
“I’m a customer, you have to sell me whatever the hell I want to buy, so sell me this.” Jungkook
interrupts. “C’mon.” Yugyeom sighs, scanning both bottles before taking Jungkook’s card. The
man gulps as he sees the total, a little over what he’d expect and definitely more than what he
should be spending just like this, but his throat burns, aches, begs for the alcohol.
And he’s too weak to deny himself that.
“I’ll use the worker’s room until my shift starts.” he informs, ignoring the calls for his name once
again. Ge gets the already half-empty bottle from his locker once he gets to it, set on finishing that
one first before opening one of the new ones.
Jungkook plops himself down on the ground, one knee bent while the other leg is stretched out to
the front, back against the wall. He tilts his head back with his eyes closed.
The only person that he’s ever trusted with the deepest parts of himself, albeit still at surface level,
gave up on him. Perhaps it was the fact that he failed the experiments that Taehyung tried with
him. Maybe the fact that he didn’t change much. Didn’t open enough. Didn’t spill everything.
Maybe Taehyung got weirded out by the way Jungkook changed in their last meeting, the way he
tuned out of everything, the way he quite literally lost his mind.
Or the new doctor wasn’t lying and Taehyung really dropped him because of the issues in their
pasts. After all, he’s Taehyung’s bully. He’s the one that tripped Taehyung so many times, the one
that laughed as his peers hid his backpack, the one that called him names. That’s him.
Why would Taehyung not only forgive him, but also agree to help him with his own problems?
Jungkook wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, groaning at the pain inside his chest. It feels
tight. So tight. No one has any expectations of him, he could never disappoint anyone, but he
clearly did. Taehyung wouldn’t just give up. It had to be that frustrating. He’s that frustrating.
“You’re such a fucking failure.” he tells himself, smashing the empty bottle on the floor, the glass
shattering upon impact, glass pieces flying everywhere. He feels alone yet again. Knowing that he
had Taehyung to open up to had him somewhat reassured ever since they started therapy.
Now? Back to square one. No one’s there to listen. Moon, of course, but what can the poor dog do?
Keep him company and lift his spirits, surely, but never reassure him that it’s ok to feel the way he
does, that it’s ok to fail, that it’s ok to feel down even when nothing bad happens.
Nothing has to happen for him to feel like absolute crap. His life is the bad happening in itself.
He chuckles to himself. How did Taehyung think that he would ever be able to open up to someone
else? It already took everything from him to even share with his best friends that he had a bit too
much to drink. He could never tell the new Dr. Kim.
“I’m so fucking pathetic.” his voice cracks a little at the end, more booze being chugged down in
one go. He can already feel his mind starting to float away. “And alone.”
│►
“…and we’ve been growing closer ever since I started the exercises you suggested, I always try to
do them and—” the patient stops as they start hearing loud voices coming from the hall outside,
something that sounds like the lady from the front desk trying to kick someone out.
They’re both startled by the door to his office being pushed open and Taehyung’s eyes go wide at
the sight. Both the lady and a security guard grab Jungkook’s arms who stumbles to try to walk
inside. Taehyung is on his feet in seconds.
“I’m not going to say this again, leave or I will be calling the police.” the man almost shouts as he
tries to pull Jungkook away from the door, far too aggressively.
“Hey, it’s ok, let him go, please.” Taehyung says. “Let him go, no police. I’ll take care of this.” he
assures, rushing to step closer to the older man, expression showing just how alarmed he is.
“But he’s intoxicated, he may get aggressive.” the security guard tries, still holding Jungkook back
by his arms as the latter simply stares at Taehyung with empty eyes and a frown.
“He won’t, it’s ok.” Taehyung says, even though he’s a little unsure. Drunk people can easily get
aggressive, Jungkook is way drunker than the last time he has seen him under the influence and he
doesn’t know him that well to be sure that he won’t get suddenly aggressive.
“What’s… What’s happening?” he hears his patient ask as he tries to help Jungkook stand properly
without the security guard holding him up and his mind goes into an easy panic. What is he
supposed to do now? He can only keep one of them in there.
“Uh, I’m so sorry, I’m going to have to ask you to uh, return some other day. I apologize for this
situation, this is really incredibly unprofessional of me.” Jungkook holds onto Taehyung’s arm for
support, still holding an almost empty bottle of whiskey in one of his hands.
“Oh, of course.” his patient gets up from the couch with a puzzled expression, still hopelessly
trying to understand what is going on.
“Please inform at the desk that it’s on me, you won’t have to pay for the next session, alright? I
apologize for this, please forgive this.” he smiles, trying to ignore how his hands shake. His
sessions have never been interrupted before. Ever.
Especially not from someone completely drunk. Taehyung barely registers his patient’s words as
the man leaves the room, still having no clue who Jungkook is.
“Tae—” he hiccups. “—hyung.”
“What am I supposed to do with you now?” Taehyung sighs, helping him rest against the desk,
though when he lets go, Jungkook drops onto the floor, sitting down with his back against it.
“You gave up on me.” it’s the only thing he says before his face shifts into something else. A tear
rolls down his cheek right away. He takes the bottle to his lips, chugging down the last gulps still
there. Two bottles, gone just like that. He can barely remember how his name is pronounced.
“Hey, give me that.” Taehyung kneels on the floor in front of him, taking the bottle from his hand
even though it’s already empty. “Why are you drunk like this? Why did you come here like this?”
“You—” a sob. “Why did you give up on me?” he asks as he looks at Taehyung, both sitting on the
floor. “Is it— Is it because I failed the experiments? Or— Or because I got weird last time?”
“Don’t cry, oh my God.” Taehyung drags himself closer, raising his hands a little hesitantly to
clean the little tears that wet his cheeks. “I didn’t give up—”
“Yes, you did!” Jungkook says a little louder now. “I’m so fucking sorry that I was your bully but I
can’t— I can’t fucking trust anyone else.” he closes his eyes, sniffing one too many times.
“That’s not why…” Taehyung whispers. “I’m not having this conversation with you like this.” he
can see how completely and utterly wasted Jungkook is. He won’t remember a thing Taehyung
tells him so explaining himself would be useless in such a situation.
“I’m so angry.” Jungkook whispers back. “I’m so angry at you.” when he opens his eyes, two more
tears roll down. “You didn’t even tell me. Why— Why? Why did you do that…?”
“It’s complicated.” Taehyung gulps, feeling his eyes water at the sight of someone crying so much.
And it’s all his fault, which makes it worse. “We’ll talk once you’re sober.”
“I’ll sleep now. Please don’t call Jin.” Taehyung blinks as the other closes his eyes, sulking down.
“No, no, you can’t sleep now.” no answer. “Jungkook?!” nothing. Great. Really.
Taehyung sighs, making sure that Jungkook’s head is safe from smacking against the floor even if
he ends up falling to the side. He gets up, rushing outside and to the front desk. “Dr. Kim, how can
I help? Is everything alright with the… drunk man?” the lady asks, worried.
“Hey, yes, everything is alright with him… I’m here to ask you to reschedule the next session. I
have to— I have to take care of that situation in there.” Taehyung says with a blush high on his
cheeks hating how unprofessional he’s being. He’s trying not to freak out.
“I can just call the police, Mr. Kim, it will be alright.” she offers.
“No!” Taehyung rushes. “I mean— no, thank you, it won’t be necessary, just please reschedule my
next session and do not charge them, please. It’s on me.” he smiles, a little awkward.
“Ok, then. I’ll get in touch with the last morning patient and ask them if we can switch it to another
day. Please do let me know if you change your mind and want me to call the police or just security
to get him out of there.” the lady reinforces, already making a grab for the phone.
“No, seriously, everything is under control. Thank you so much.” Taehyung bows before rushing
back to his office where the older man is still on the floor, though he has completely fallen to the
side, just as predicted, his light snores filling up the room.
Taehyung sighs again as he removes his white coat.
“Jungkook…” he bends down, shaking his shoulder. “Jungkook, c’mon, wake up, I’ll take you
home. Get up, c’mon.” Taehyung continues to shake him, watching as he pops one of his eyes open
but makes no move to get up from his position.
Taehyung settles for threatening him.

“You either let me take you home right now or I’ll have to call Seokjin, you can’t stay here like
this, c’mon. Please.” that’s enough for him to sit up, pupils still blown wide upon the mention of
his friend’s name. “C’mon, let’s get going.”
Taehyung helps him to his feet, Jungkook’s arm going around his shoulders for support. “I’m
really angry…” Jungkook mumbles. “And hurt.” he continues, voice dragged as the younger does
his best to lead him out of the office. “I want to cry.” he mumbles.
“You have all the rights to be mad and hurt, I understand.” Taehyung gulps. “Let’s get you home
first, then we’ll talk…” Jungkook mumbles something incoherent but allows his therapist to help
him out, not daring to say anything else; he doesn’t even have the energy to, anyway.
No even when he’s shoved inside Taehyung’s car with clear indications not to move or get out of
the automobile. His chest still feels tight and he needs to either drink again or sleep. Since all of his
alcohol is all the way back at home, he settles for the second option, not even noticing it when
Taehyung comes back with his jacket and his bag.
The younger takes a good look at him, blinking away tears with a deep sigh. He caused all of this.
Jungkook showed up completely drunk, crying and blaming himself over something that he did
himself. Only him. He has to make it right. He has to apologize. Clearly that will mean waiting for
the older man to be sober otherwise his words will be forgotten in a split second.
He doesn’t want that. He’s not a bad guy. He will make it right.
│►
“Where are your keys?” Taehyung asks with a careful voice, holding Jungkook up with all his
strength. Jungkook’s heavy. Really heavy and barely cooperating.
“My pocket…” he drags the words, head falling backwards with a tired sigh. Taehyung gulps as he
shoves his hand inside the right pocket of Jungkook’s jeans, as respectfully as possible. He can
already hear Moon barking while unlocking the door and Jungkook smiles, mumbling to himself
things that he wishes Moon could understand.
Taehyung doesn’t know the apartment so he’s happy to see that the front door leads directly to the
living room, where he ends up dropping the older man on the couch. Jungkook doesn’t even react,
seems to go out like a light the moment his head hits the pillow.
Taehyung takes his shoes off and places a blanket over his body, sighing as he finally has put him
to sleep in the right place. “Hey, you cute little thing.” he whispers to Moon, crouching down to
play with her as she takes the first opportunity to lick at his cheeks. Taehyung giggles. “Actually
not that little, you’re a big girl, such a big girl that you are.”
He sits down, looking at his wristwatch.
It’s almost lunch time. Taehyung steals another glance at the sleepy man, debating on whether he
should cook him something so that they can have a proper conversation. Probably. Jungkook is
angry, maybe some food will ease him into talking, right?
“Let’s cook your dad some food, hm?” he asks Moon in a soft whisper, voice careful so that he
doesn’t wake Jungkook up and she sits down, tongue darting out. “You’re so cute.” Taehyung pets
her one last time before getting up.
The kitchen is easy to find, the first door he tries to open. The apartment is rather small, at least
from what he has seen so far, but it feels so much cozier than his own. His own is just… empty.
Moon is right behind him as he hums a random song, opening the cabinets. His song dies. They’re
empty. He tilts his head, a little confused, as he walks to the fridge to open it instead. The fridge is
just as empty, nothing but whiskey bottles and one lonely egg inside.
Taehyung is utterly confused now. Maybe Jungkook hasn’t had the time to go shopping for the
week’s groceries yet or maybe he buys them daily. In the meanwhile, he tries his best to ignore the
worrying amount of alcohol, deciding that he can always make a trip to the grocery store himself
and get ingredients to make some soup.
Jungkook will probably puke if he eats too much. Soup should be the right pick.
“Do you think that he’d mind it if I took you with me?” Taehyung glances at the man whose snores
get louder by the second, clearly in an uncomfortable position. “He wouldn’t, right? Let’s find your
leash, shall we?” Moon barks at the mention, Taehyung shushing her with a giggle.
He hopes that Jungkook won’t be mad at him for taking her, he doesn’t want to upset the man even
more than what he has already. That was something close to a complete breakdown in public all
because of him and his careless, selfish actions. Taehyung hopes that Jungkook can forgive him for
what he did. Maybe after he hears his explanation he might understand.
Taehyung sighs. “Let’s go, girl.”
│►
“Jungkook? Hey, wake up. Hyung? Hey.” Jungkook slowly regains his consciousness, blinking a
few times to get used to the light. He looks up, only to see Taehyung staring down at him with a
little smile and he’s even more confused at that.
He rubs his eyes, his head hurting and stomach growling. He’s on the couch with Taehyung
standing beside him. How did that happen? “How did I get here? I went— I went to the gas
station…? How are you here? Why are we here…?” he asks, voice groggy from his sleep.
“Yeah… you barged into my office during a session. I brought you here.” Taehyung chuckles
lightly. “I cooked you some lunch, though, so sit up.” he does so without questioning further,
watching as Taehyung disappears into the kitchen, only to come back with a tray.
He can see two bowls and two glasses of water. “You didn’t have to…”
“I did.” Taehyung smiles. “I thought your stomach wouldn’t take food too well after drinking so
much so here’s some soup… it’s still very hot, be careful. Make sure to blow on it.” Taehyung
hands him the bowl and he takes a sniff, eyes closing immediately. It smells divine.
He only eats takeout or ramen, basically. Occasionally Seokjin’s cooking. This soup, just the smell,
is enough for his stomach to calm down. Taehyung sits on the couch too, looking down at his own
bowl, not wanting to see Jungkook’s reaction to his food.
He’s not the best cook, that much he knows already. Hyungsik makes sure to say it every day.
“Hm.” he hears. “Shit, this is really good.” Taehyung turns to him, eyes a little wide as Jungkook
takes another spoonful to his mouth. “This is so tasty, thank you for cooking it.”
“You… like it?” Jungkook nods, too busy savoring to form words. “Oh. Alright. Thank you.” the
older man furrows his brows questioningly and Taehyung waves him off. “Hyungsik doesn’t really
like my food, is all.” he says with a little embarrassed smile.
“Well, your fiancé’s an idiot.” Taehyung pouts. “Sorry, I’m still a little drunk.” he sighs, going
back to his soup. It really tastes amazing. “I’m sorry.” Jungkook whispers after some seconds of
silence. He doesn’t want Taehyung to be mad at him, that’s the last thing that he wants.
“It’s ok, I’m used to my friends not liking him.” the younger shrugs, fiddling with his spoon.
“That’s not why I’m apologizing. You said that I interrupted your session and I had no right to do
so. I’m sorry, I always fuck up somehow.” Taehyung looks at him with a concerned expression
taking over his features, watching Jungkook’s eyes growing redder again.
“Why did you get drunk like that?” the doctor whispers. He already knows the answer, he just
wants sober Jungkook to say it so that he can apologize.
“You… You transferred me to that other guy.” Jungkook waits for a second, eating a new spoonful
of soup before he continues. “I know that I must’ve disappointed you, I’m not surprised, I always
do that. I was just angry that you didn’t even tell me, I guess.” he mumbles the end, not sparing a
look at the younger. He can’t even face him.
He has barely looked at Taehyung ever since he woke up, too embarrassed to do so. “It’s probably
because I failed at everything that you asked me to do, because of the way I lost my mind when I
told you a bit about my mom. Whatever it was, I apologize for disappointing you but fuck, Tae,
you could’ve told me instead of just… throwing me away like I’m nothing.”
“I’m sorry, Jungkook…” he tries but next thing he knows, the other is already back to his crying
state. “Hey, no, c’mon.” Taehyung grabs his bowl, putting both of them on the center table.
“I always fuck things up, but you really hurt me, I just— I thought— I thought that I was going
somewhere…? That I had someone who understood me and then you just… gave up on me. I felt
so goddamn alone that I couldn’t stop drinking… not that I can ever but I still shouldn’t have gone
to your office like that. I’m so sorry, I’m sorry for whatever reason that made you give up on me,
I’m so sor—”
“It was my fiancé.” Taehyung lets out in a quick breath, not being able to take more of a crying
Jungkook just blaming himself. He can’t see him like this. The latter sniffs, wiping away his tears
as he finally looks at him, for what it feels like the first time ever since he woke up. It is.
“What?” he asks then. “What do you mean your fiancé?” Jungkook’s voice still sounds a little
groggy but he clears his throat, trying to conceal that as Taehyung looks down at his lap.
“The last session we had, you got pretty bad, right, so I called Seokjin at night to ask him if you
were ok and… my uhm, my fiancé wasn’t… that happy. He told me to transfer you. I’m sorry, I
shouldn’t— I’m sorry, Jungkook, I acted in a selfish way and I shouldn’t have done it. I’m sorry.”
Jungkook leans closer to be able to see Taehyung’s face properly, eyes falling to the other’s lips
once he spots something. There’s a cut. There’s a cut on his bottom lip. “Tae…” he sniffs. “Was
that him?” it’s a whisper so soft that Taehyung almost misses it.
“No…” Taehyung gulps, looking away.
Next thing he knows, a hand takes hold of his jaw, touch so soft that he wonders if it’s even there;
Jungkook turning his face to look at him. Taehyung’s eyes get a little wider as Jungkook’s thumb
runs over the cut, a hiss escaping involuntarily.
Jungkook takes his thumb away immediately, but not his hand. He keep it on Taehyung’s jaw to
prevent him from looking away. “Tell me the truth. Did he do that?” he whispers. “You can trust
me, Taehyung. Did he do this to you…? Because of the call? Because— Because of me?”
Taehyung ponders on saying yes, Hyungsik teaches him how to act and sometimes it hurts, but
stops himself because it’s normal. Every relationship has its differences and he can’t possibly say
it, Hyungsik has always told him that it’s something private.
So he lies. “He didn’t. I hurt myself.” Jungkook doesn’t look convinced, holding eye contact for
any signs of Taehyung lying and he sees it. All over. He doesn’t even need it anyways, he knows
that it was his fiancé. He knows. It makes his chest feel weird.
He wants to ask, to tell Taehyung that it’s not ok, that he should get the furthest away possible from
his fiancé but he refrains. They’re not that close, he should have Taehyung’s trust when he finally
tells him everything that he has and wants to say. He needs him to listen and actually be moved by
what he says. Soon, he hopes. He’ll have enough of Taehyung’s trust soon.
“I’d kiss it better but it’s on your lip, so I can’t do that.” he decides to joke instead, taking his hand
away and Taehyung smiles, a laugh following suit. Jungkook joins quietly.
But Jungkook can’t stop himself from pulling Taehyung by the shoulders into a hug, holding him
close. The younger takes a second to process it before slowly hugging back, not knowing how far
can he go, so he keeps his arms loosely around Jungkook’s middle, not daring to make a move.
Hyungsik hates it when he even attempts to hug him.
“Please take care of yourself…” Jungkook whispers. “Defend yourself, Tae. Please.” Taehyung
closes his eyes, hugging him tighter instead of answering. Jungkook shifts to get even closer to
him, feeling Taehyung’s breath hitch a little. He doesn’t want him to cry, he doesn’t want to see
Taehyung crying. Ever. “Hyung’s here, it’s ok.” Jungkook whispers again, rocking him a little.
He wants, so desperately, to come clean and open Taehyung’s eyes but things must be done
carefully. He knows that from his own experience. But he will make sure that the day comes.
Their bowls are back to their hands, already half empty. Taehyung has to admit, it does taste good.
For the first time in a long time, he considers cooking a success. “…but if you really don’t want me
back, I’ll just stop going to therapy. It’s ok.” it’s not ok. Taehyung swallows his water, in a rush to
answer, putting the cup down with worried words wanting to come out.
“No, really. I will take you back, I’m so sorry for what I did, you didn’t deserve it. At all, you don’t
disappoint me in any way neither did I give up on you. I would never be disappointed and, even if
for some reason I was, I’d never give up on you.” Jungkook nods, looking down to his bowl. “I
care for you, you know. You’re not just my patient…” that gets the older man to smile.
“I care for you too, you’re a good friend, Tae.” Jungkook says, bottom lip caught between his teeth
as he feels himself grow a little shy — for some reason. He didn’t even say anything that he should
be feeling embarrassed of, but he’s pushed emotions and feelings away for so long that it feels
almost weird to just say that out loud.
“You’re a good friend as well, hyung.” they both chuckle, going back to take another spoonful of
soup to their mouths. “Hm, by the way, tell me whatever you wanted to talk about today at the
session. Let’s do it right now.” Taehyung says, putting his empty bowl down. “Tell me.”
“Oh. Really?” Taehyung nods and Jungkook’s smile grows even more as he places his own bowl
on the table as well, sitting sideways so that they can look at each other and he fixes the blanket so
that it’s properly covering their legs.
“You look excited.” the blonde raises an eyebrow, suddenly curious.
“I met a girl. Well, I didn’t really… meet her but we uh, yeah. I met her at a bar the other day that I
went to with a friend from work.” he says, watching Taehyung’s smile grow. “She was really
pretty.” Jungkook squints to himself upon the realization that he doesn’t even know how to
describe her; they didn’t exactly talk much.
“I’m so happy for you, hyung. You’ll finally stop whining about wanting a relationship.”
Taehyung jokes, getting the weakest of the slaps on his knee. “I’m joking, I’m joking.” he laughs.
“Tell me all about it, go on.” Jungkook nods with a little pout.
“She’s really pretty with long dark hair… her name is Yun and she likes dogs. That’s uh, pretty
much everything that I know about her. Oh, her bed is comfortable. That’s all.” Taehyung looks
away at a Moon sleeping in front of the couch, piecing the words together.
“So… you met her at a bar and went to her house, I’m assuming that you two hooked up if you had
the chance to check the quality of her mattress…?” Jungkook nods, scratching the back of his neck.
Not much of a meeting. “You seem happy, though, did you get her number?”
“I didn’t… for one valid reason. We were acting out of drunk horniness… if I am meant to actually
try something with her, I will meet her again and we will do things properly.” he explains, playing
with his ring. “I haven’t hooked up with someone in years, I feel like I’m too old for meaningless
one-night-stands. She seemed really sweet so hopefully I’ll see her again. Who knows.”
“That’s actually a really nice thing to do. I hope that you do see her again, you seem very interested
in this Yun.” Jungkook bites his bottom lip with a nod. “Did you two talk? Perhaps in the morning
after sobering up?” his therapist asks.
“Well… you see, I left in the middle of the night…”
“I thought that you said you’re romantic? That’s such an asshole move.” Jungkook gapes,
furrowing his eyebrows in fake offense.
“She was awake—!” he defends himself. “I had a nightmare, woke up all sweaty and gross and
crying, I just wanted to leave but still had to play it cool because I hate being weak in front of
people, so I left before I started crying in front of her.”
“Crying doesn’t make you weak, Jungkook. Depending on the context, it can bring people closer.”
Taehyung explains, cursing at himself for not having his notes. “You show a vulnerability that
makes you more… approachable, more real, so sometimes crying brings people closer.”
“I know but… I hate it. I cry so much, I’ve cried so much during my twenty-seven years of life, I
don’t want people to see that, I guess. It’s embarrassing enough doing it by myself.” he sighs with a
shrug. “Anyway…! She was nice. That’s all I had to tell you today, really.”
“I’m happy that you were able to put yourself out there again. You deserve a chance at true
happiness, at love.” Taehyung smiles, placing an innocent hand on Jungkook’s knee. Jungkook
grins back at him, thinking of an easy way to turn the conversation back to Taehyung.
There’s still a big elephant in the room.
“What about you? Anything interesting that happened as of lately?” he asks and Taehyung’s face
shifts into complete confusion. “What? You saw me sobbing while drunk, that’s like… my lowest,
that makes up buddies, not just friends. Tell me your life updates too.”
That’s weird, Taehyung thinks. Why is Jungkook interested in what he has to say? Hyungsik has
never asked anything. Ever. He’s not even sure of what to say. What would Jungkook like to
know? What answer does that question require? He doesn’t have a clue.
“I uh, I took Moon with me.” he says the first thing that comes to mind and Jungkook tilts his head.
“To the grocery shop. I hope that it’s ok… I should’ve asked but you were asleep. Oh, I must
confess that I actually had a moment of thought about running away with her but decided that it
would be too mean to do that.” Taehyung admits, playful.
“Wow, you’re so evil.” Jungkook narrows his eyes with a chuckle, making Taehyung giggle. “And
that’s totally fine, she likes you, it’s fine for you to take her, you don’t have to ask.”
They both relax a little further on the couch, the blanket still over their legs as they chat about the
most random things, going back to their high school days — the good memories, of course,
avoiding every bad thing Jungkook has done in the past. The past doesn’t matter anymore.
They can be good friends if they keep their hangouts as a regular thing, Taehyung wouldn’t mind
having him as a friend. That, if Hyungsik doesn’t mind, of course. His fiancé will always come
first, that’s how it should work, he believes so at least.
And between all the shared stories, the jokes, the laughs, Taehyung finds himself wondering, why
has he never laughed with his fiancé, why he’s never spent an afternoon like this and why it’s so
easy to feel careless with Jungkook, like nothing is wrong in the world.
│►
Taehyung takes a brief glance at his wristwatch, almost choking on the water he’s attempting to
drink. “What’s wrong?” Jungkook asks, tapping his back when he coughs.
“I didn’t notice the time flying, I’m going to be late.” he tries to gather everything to put them back
on the tray because if he starts washing them now, he may still get there on time. However, a hand
on his forearm makes him stop his movements altogether.
“Leave that, I’ll wash them.” Taehyung takes a moment, turning to Jungkook with a questioning
look, getting a quiet chuckle. “You can leave it, you’re going to be late. I already ruined your
morning, don’t get there late in the afternoon as well.”
“You’re… going to wash them?” he asks, almost incredulously. That’s his task, he’s the one who
has to take care of the kitchen, why would Jungkook volunteer to do it?
“Yes, of course, I was already planning on doing so anyway, you cooked.” Jungkook smiles. “Now
go, don’t be late. Go, go, hurry.” Taehyung smiles, grabbing his phone, still a little confused.
“Oh, I also bought quite a few things at the grocery store because I noticed that you haven’t had
the time this week yet and I was already there. If you don’ like something then you can just give it
to your friends, I don’t really know your preferences.” Jungkook’s mouth falls open, not sure of
what to say to that. It takes him three full seconds to gather his voice.
“Thank you…” he settles for that, voice wearing thin. Taehyung did so much more than what he
thinks he did. It’s not just groceries, it’s meals that he’ll be able to have. Whatever it is that his
therapist bought, he’ll be able to prepare something out of it without spending any money.
“It’s nothing…!” Taehyung giggles but Jungkook can’t do the same. It’s not nothing, it’s
something huge. “I should get going now.” he bends down to pet Moon, playing with her ears.
“Drive safely, don’t speed.” Jungkook points as Taehyung approaches the door. “Also… see you
on the next session?” he asks as he bites down his bottom lip, tentative.
“Yeah, you will. Take care, hyung.” he watches as the younger leaves, closing the door behind
himself and is finally able to let out a deep sigh he had been storing.
“Come here.” Jungkook pats the couch and is immediately greeted by Moon who snuggles onto his
lap. “Today was such a long day, girl, you won’t believe what happened.” he starts, playing with
her fur, fingers threading through it slowly and carefully.
“Tae transferred me, I lost my shit, and then he was here when I woke up so we just talked and
made up. But fuck, I couldn’t stop looking at the cut on his lip… I know it was his fucking fiancé,
that disgusting rat.” he groans the ending, looking down at the clueless animal. “I should’ve said
something but I want him to actually listen and for that to happen he has to trust me… that’s why
I’m waiting.” he sighs, bopping her nose. “I hope that I’m not making a huge mistake.”
“I’m also still a little hurt but he’s a good friend and I don’t know the full extent to how fucked up
his fiancé is, that’s why I decided to ignore how fast he threw me away… what if— what if he
does that again? I really can’t just open up to someone else… I can’t lose him now.”
Moon licks her paws, completely unbothered and clueless, coming to finally rest her head. “I’m
missing work too, I’ll end up getting fired someday, it’s not really something that I need right now,
considering everything.”
He sighs, glancing at his glass of water. That’s also not what he needs. He sure has had enough to
drink for the day but he knows that he will end up drinking anyway at night so why not using the
advantage of ditching work to drink even more? He’s happier when he can’t think.
“I wonder if Taehyung would actually be disappointed if he knew just how self-destructive I

apparently am.” he asks into the air for no one to answer as he gets up ever so carefully not to
disturb Moon. “I just don’t know how to deal with all of this.”
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 14 │►
Chapter Notes
This update is really short and honestly really weird ;/// my apologies.
Taehyung glances at his phone, gulping away his nerves or at least tries his best to. It’s past the
time he’s supposed to be home. Way past the time. When something doesn’t go as planned, he may
arrive five, maximum of ten minutes late. Not forty-five.
Hyungsik hates tardiness and that’s the latest he’s ever been.
He arrived late to his first session because of how long he got held back in traffic on his way to the
clinic, which made him late for every single session after that. Pair that with his boss wanting to
see him after his last patient and it’s a mixture for disaster. He’s so incredibly late.
His heart beats like crazy against his chest, throat running dry. He can hear the sound of steps
coming closer and he immediately freezes. “Hi, honey…” Taehyung still greets him with a warm
yet nervous smile, trying not to be scared of the angry frown on his fiancé’s face.
He comes closer, holding Taehyung’s jaw, just like how Jungkook did earlier. Except, it’s not
careful. Taehyung can’t seem to ignore and not notice the difference. Jungkook’s touch was
delicate, hesitant; now Hyungsik’s is just… rough. It’s a big difference.
“Where were you?” Hyungsik asks, holding him by his jaw to maintain eye contact. His eyes fall to
Taehyung’s neck as a new smell catches on his nose and so he leans closer. That’s not just
Taehyung’s cologne alone. He can feel a sweeter one, but still masculine.
It makes him bite down on his teeth so hard he’s afraid he’ll snap something in his jaw.
“I’ve been thinking of something, Taehyung.” Hyungsik says, forcing out a smile. “How about we
speed up the wedding process, hm? Instead of doing it in a few months, I’ve been thinking
maybe… thirty days? How does it sound like to you?”
Taehyung’s eyes grow wider, shining at the unusual attention. “A month? Really?” they hadn’t
settled for an exact date yet because Hyungsik is usually always busy and never cared for the
preparations until now, so it makes his chest feel full upon the realization that Hyungsik is finally
excited about the marriage too.
And how could he say no? He’s beyond happy with the decision.
“We should go work some things out tomorrow, what do you say? Pick the suits, the cake and
such, perhaps? How does that sound?” Taehyung smiles, forgetting the cold hand that wrapped
around his jaw just moments prior.
“That sounds perfect. Will you be going too?” there’s a few seconds of silence as Hyungsik looks
at him with no expression, seemingly unbothered. At least he didn’t get angry, Taehyung thinks.
“Yes, I will.” Taehyung smiles even more, stepping closer. Though, when he opens his arms for
some sort of celebratory hug, Hyungsik takes a step away from him.
“What are you doing?” he asks with a humorless chuckle. Taehyung blinks. Oh. That’s right.
“Sorry, I was going to hug you— I’m sorry, I forgot for a second.” Taehyung steps back too, a little
awkward. He likes hugs, he’d like to get one. He’d really love to get one from his fiancé. He hadn’t
hugged anyone in a really long time until today, until Jungkook hugged him without a single care
or a second of hesitation. It’s weird. It’s definitely new.
“You know that I don’t like that, Taehyung, hug are just nonsense.” he sighs, waving a dismissive
hand. “I’ll be going to spend some hours working in my office, please do not disturb me unless it’s
something extremely important.” Hyungsik instructs.
“Oh. Alright.” Taehyung’s smile falls ever so slowly. “I won’t, don’t worry.”
“Great.”
│►
“…you can call me back whenever you decide on what you want or if you need my help. I will let
you take a look by yourselves now.” she smiles as they bow to each other, motioning towards all
the displayed suits. “When you pick a suit, then we take all the measurements in case there’s the
need of a touch-up or anything that you might want to customize.”
“Ok, thank you.” they both say as she steps away and Hyungsik sighs, rubbing his eyes. “Yours
will need a lot of touch-ups, we know that much. You should most definitely think about starting a
diet, at least until the wedding.” Taehyung’s smile falls completely, eyes widening. What?
“What do you mean…?” he looks down at himself, not seeing anything wrong. He doesn’t have a
bad physic… at least he never thought that way. He’s not the most athletic guy, he doesn’t have
bulging muscles, but neither does Hyungsik; their body types are rather similar and he thinks that
they both look amazing, so he can’t quite understand why Hyungsik suddenly has a problem with
Taehyung’s body. Muscles aren’t needed to look good.
“You’ve been putting on some weight lately, Taehyung.” he waves him off as if it’s something all
that obvious. What? He hasn’t. “Just try a diet so that you can fit in your suit, ok?” Taehyung nods,
a little overwhelmed. He never thought that there was anything wrong with his body, he never felt
conscious about it so how come his fiancé thinks he needs a diet?
Maybe he does. Hyungsik wouldn’t lie.
He gulps, looking back to the suits so that he can distract himself. It’s his wedding day, he can’t be
sad thinking about it. “That one is so pretty.” Taehyung smiles as he points to the first suit that gets
his attention but it takes a look from his fiancé for him to shut up.
“That suit is black and you will be wearing white.” he explains. “You’re the… well, the equivalent
to the bride.” Hyungsik waves a dismissive hand at him, still looking towards the black suits for
himself. Not for Taehyung. Said male gapes in surprise.
“I’m the… what?” he whispers with a disappointed frown. He’s not a woman. Why would he be
the bride? They’re two grown men getting married, why would there even be a bride at all?
“We all know who’s the man of this relationship, Taehyung.” his jaw falls in surprise, watching as
his fiancé walks away towards the white suits, a tired sigh dying on his lips. Taehyung just follows,
uncertainness boiling up in his stomach. That doesn’t sit right with him at all.
“But I’m a man too, Sik, why can’t I wear black as well? What do colors even have to do with
anything? I—” Hyungsik turns to him, an assertive look in his eyes. It’s enough of an indicator for
Taehyung to shut up. So he does.
“My family is paying for the wedding, like the man does. You will be dressed in what I think is
fitting, understand?” Taehyung gulps. He nods. He offered countless times to help pay for the
wedding, Hyungsik’s father was the one insisting on doing so. He doesn’t like that it’s being
rubbed in his face like he simply refused to pay for it when it’s not true at all.
“Yes, I understand.” he suppresses a sigh. “Can my tie be purple, though? I really—” Hyungsik
interrupts.
“It will black.” Taehyung wants to say something. He wants to argue. It’s his wedding day after all.
And he does open his mouth, set on making sure that his fiancé understands that he too can decide
on the details, that he can pick his own suit.
But, “Ok.” is all that he says instead. Because it’s ok, really.
It’s not like he has dreamt about that day for years.
│►
Taehyung fixes the napkin on his lap, wiggling a little on the chair to get himself more
comfortable. They’re waiting for the lady in charge and Hyungsik already looks like he’s about to
leave. “Why are you placing the napkin?” his fiancé asks, looking at him as if he’s doing
something so wrong. “We won’t be eating, Taehyung.”
“Then how are we going to pick the flavor that we want?” he furrows his eyebrows, confused.
“It’s going to be the basic flavor, we have to think of all the guests.” Hyungsik rubs his temples,
seemingly bothered by the conversation. The blonde takes a few seconds in silence before
mustering the courage to speak. He can’t just conform to everything without being heard.
“We could make it half simple and half red velvet… I really wanted it to be red velvet.” Taehyung
whispers the ending, looking down at the napkin as he starts folding it again.
“You know that I don’t like red velvet, Taehyung.” his voice is so cold that Taehyung wonders if
he has done something to upset his fiancé. Today was supposed to be a good day, they were
supposed to feel connected and happy as they choose the details for their wedding day, but he
doesn’t feel like that at all, in fact, he’s not enjoying anything so far.
“That’s why there’s the other—”
“It’s not up for discussion.” Taehyung goes silent, watching as the older lady enters the room with
a big smile. They get up just to bow, Taehyung not really interested in listening to their
conversation anymore. He doesn’t even care to pay attention.
“…I’m very honored that you two lovely gentlemen chose us to take care of the catering on such an
important day.” she smiles, picking up a catalog. “Let’s start with the cake, I have a list of flavors
and everything else, whatever you feel interested in, I will get and you can taste it first before
coming to—” Hyungsik raises a hand to interrupt. She stops. “Yes?”
“We already chose it. It will be a basic, vanilla cake.” she nods, noting that down. “White fondant
and icing on the outside, the inside icing is completely up to you, we don’t really care.” Hyungsik
continues and Taehyung looks at him with a little frown.
We? We don’t care? But he does. He does care.
“Okay…” she finishes writing it down, getting another catalog. “About the food itself, do you have
anything in mind?” Taehyung looks away, already knowing that he won’t have a say on that either.
There’s still a small bit of hope, so he listens closely to what his fiancé says next.
And it sends his hope away when he hears the order already well thought out, including almost
everything that Taehyung has no preference in. But it’s ok. It’s their wedding day. The bond is
more important than the food. The food shouldn’t matter, he supposes.
Yes, that’s it. Totally.
│►
“Hey!” Jimin smiles, getting up to hug him as close as possible. He rests his chin on Taehyung’s
shoulder for a few seconds before they pull away and Taehyung’s surprised with the suddenness of
the hug. It’s not unwelcome in the slightest.
“I’m happy that you were able to come meet me on such a short notice.” Taehyung smiles as they
sit down. “I really wanted to grab a coffee and tell you the good news!” he claps his hands twice.
“I can always come the second that you call me, Tae.” he chuckles, crossing his arms on the table.
“What are the news? What happened, hm?”
“We finally chose the wedding date.” Jimin stills. “A month from today, exactly.” he smiles
widely and his best friend only blinks, forcing a little smile to come through eventually.
“That’s… great…” Jimin says through his teeth, looking around. “Isn’t that—” he clears his throat,
scratching the back of his neck. “Isn’t it a little too soon…?” Taehyung frowns.
“We’ve been engaged for years already, that’s just nonsense!” he pouts even further. “Aren’t you
happy for me…? Sik was interested and we even picked the suits and the food already…”
“Of course I am, I’m… uhm, I’m so happy. It’s just very sudden, it was supposed to be months
from now… I’m uh, happy, yeah, I am, sure.” Jimin laughs awkwardly, looking away from his
best friend. He can’t properly face him, he’s a terrible liar and Taehyung’s good at reading people.
“You don’t sound very sure…”
“I am. Let’s uh, order, shall we?” Jimin smiles and Taehyung gulps down the lump that forms
immediately in his throat. Not only does he know that Jimin is lying, but the simple mention of
food was able to make his concerns skyrocket. He’s not supposed to eat for lunch.
“I don’t want anything, I’m actually not hungry.” he shrugs it off. “Oh, on another news, I also
took Jungkook back, I thought that you’d like to know about it.”
“Did you?!” Taehyung nods. “Why the sudden change of heart? Did you stop to think about what
we told you the other day?” his mind takes him back to Jungkook coming into his office
completely drunk and his chest feels all too tight again for his poor heart to fit. He would never
share about what happened, though. He wouldn’t do that to Jungkook or any of his patients.
“Yeah, I just called him and asked if he could go to the clinic so that we could talk it over and I
accepted him back, that’s all.” he shrugs, coming up with an easy lie.
“I’m glad, he’s a good guy.” Jimin rests his chin against his palm, smiling.
“Yeah… Yeah, he is.” Taehyung bites the inside of his cheek, suddenly all too aware of the
situation that he’s in. If his fiancé ever finds out about him accepting Jungkook back, he has no
idea of how he might react. Probably terribly. Most definitely.
“Will you invite him to the wedding?” Jimin asks. “He didn’t seem very fond of Hyungsik when
we had that brief mention during lunch but I may be wrong.”
“No… he doesn’t uh, he doesn’t like Sik. And yeah, I will invite him if Sik agrees to it… which
seems a little impossible. It was already hard for him to allow Hoseok to be a guest and we’ve been
friends since forever now so I doubt that he’ll accept Jungkook.” Jimin sighs, rubbing his eyes
slowly. It’s painful. Seeing Taehyung so blinded is painful.
“It’s your wedding day. Not just his.” he points out. “Jungkook is your friend.”
“I know, I know.” Taehyung smiles. “I’ll try to get him to accept him as a guest, I’d be very happy
if Jungkook was able to be there.”
“Hm… good to know.” Jimin smiles to himself, looking down at the menu to play it off.
“What do you mean?” Taehyung chuckles. Why is good to know?
“Oh, nothing, nothing.”
│►
“Come lay down.” Hoseok pats the bed next to him as Jimin approaches with his night gear, lifting
up the covers for him. “Did you have fun with Taehyung? Sorry that I couldn’t go.”
“It’s fine!” Jimin smiles. “And I have bad and good news… what do you want first?” Hoseok tilts
his head putting his phone down.
“Bad news first so that I can sleep in a good mood.” Jimin nods as they both sit up, backs against
the headboard. “What’s wrong, Jiminie?”
“They’re getting married in a month… they sped up the process.” Hoseok stares at him for a
couple of seconds, searching for any signs of it being a joke and he’s left disappointed when he
doesn’t find any. Jimin’s telling the truth.
“That’s so fucked up, that guy should be in jail, this is so— I hate him so much.” he says through
his gritted teeth, hands squeezing the sheets in tight balls.
“I know… me too, but only Tae can press charges so we can’t do anything about that dipshit. We
can only watch and pray that somehow, miraculously, Tae opens his eyes. I’m too scared to speak
and make him mad at me and maybe aggravate things even more between them.”
“I know, I know.” Hoseok sighs. “I try to say everything that I think and believe in and he still
doesn’t listen to me, I think that he would only listen to someone with a deeper connection to
him… but Hyungsik doesn’t let him have anyone like that.”
“Well… that’s where the good news come.” he smiles again. “Jungkook’s back. Tae took him
back. He said that it was because of what we told him but I don’t think that he was being
completely honest, I think something else happened and he couldn’t tell me.”
“Oh, shit— that’s so good. Our mission to put Jungkook in Hyungsik’s place is still on the go,
then.” Jimin laughs, nodding. “Give me more information, are they close?”
“I don’t know, I have absolutely no idea. But the point is that something made Tae take him back.
He went against Hyungsik. That has never happened before. Jungkook may get under his skin, he
may open his eyes, even if they’re just friends.” Jimin bites the inside of his cheek, eyes wandering
a little around the room.
“We joke about them getting together but, honestly, I just want Tae to be happy. And free. He’s
lived for way too long with that excuse of a fiancé.” Hoseok leans away to turn off the lights,
laying back down. “But let’s hope and pray, and try harder, to maybe make the wedding not go
through. Maybe we can make him see how horrible Hyungsik is.”
“Tae’s going to be heartbroken…” Jimin whispers.
Hoseok nods. “It’s for his own good.”
│►
Taehyung hums as he steps out of the shower, rubbing his head with the warm towel that he had
placed on the heater previously. His little smile fades, though, as he looks towards the mirror. He
takes a step closer.
He has never seen anything wrong. He’s not muscular, but he’s not thin, he doesn’t have a defined
abdomen, but his stomach is flat. His chest isn’t ripped, but it’s broad and his pectorals are
something that he always thought balanced everything perfectly. He never saw a single flaw.
But now, after Hyungsik has spoken about it, his tummy doesn’t look as flat, his chest doesn’t look
as ideal. He’s not fit for the wedding, he has to agree with that. His fiancé is right.
Always is, after all.
“Sik…?” Taehyung calls once he has covered his body with the pajama even though he gets too hot
while sleeping. “Do you— Do you find me attractive?” he asks, biting his lip.
“I could get way better.” Hyungsik says without even looking at him. “But we’re engaged, aren’t
we?” he shrugs to himself as Taehyung’s arms drop to the side, completely out of words.
His fiancé doesn’t find him attractive? The wedding will be the mark of their bond, life bond, and
yet, Hyungsik doesn’t even find him pretty? Attractive? “You don’t think I’m… attractive?”
“I love you, though, so come to bed, it’s late and I have to sleep.” Taehyung smiles with a nod.
What nonsense was he thinking? Hyungsik loves him. That’s all that should matter.
│►
Chapter End Notes

I want to say three things:
1. It's safe to say we all hate Hyungsik;

2. I read every comment, I'm just really awkward when replying to them )): ;
3. I don't proof read my chapters so if you find horrendous typos, that's why.
That's it thank you for reading ((: !

◄│ 15 │►
Chapter Notes
Taehyung stares at the full cabinets, knowing the ingredients he has to take for Monday pancakes,
but his stomach asks for something else. The cereal boxes look like they’re calling for him and he
has lost count on how long ago he has had cereal for breakfast.
It used to be his favorite.
His hand itches to grab the box but he just sigs, leaving it to grab everything that he needs for the
pancakes instead. He’s tried to use already baked pancakes before so that he doesn’t have to get up
as early but Hyungsik said that they’re not healthy, that Taehyung should make them from scratch
so that they can eat them fresh.
Taehyung didn’t question. He never does.
As he breaks the first egg into the bowl, he hears footsteps approaching. Taehyung quickly checks
the time, making sure that he didn’t make a mistake while setting up the alarm. No, Hyungsik
doesn’t be awake, it’s too early.
His fiancé appears already wearing one of his suits, hair combed to perfection. Taehyung furrows
his eyebrows. Hyungsik never got dressed before breakfast, to begin with.
“Good morning, honey.” Taehyung greets. He always does, even though most of the time he
doesn’t get an answer. “Why are you all suited up already?” he smiles, trying not to sound too
invasive by asking too much, looking at him for some kind of reaction. Nothing.
“I’m having breakfast out.” Hyungsik says, plain. “And you shouldn’t have those pancakes, soon
you won’t be fitting in your wedding suit, it’ll be money wasted on getting it fitted.”
Taehyung watches with his mouth open as his fiancé walks away, briefcase in his hand, chest
puffed out and nose held up high. Important, powerful, respectable. He only seems to get a grip on
himself when he hears the front door close, only then does he look down at the bowl where an egg
lays, already cracked and waiting. Taehyung sighs.
The suit was already purchased and it’s an expensive one, he doesn’t want to ruin it by getting too
big; too big to even fit in it when the time comes. So, he closes his eyes as he sends the egg down
the drain, feeling bad for throwing food in the trash just like that. There are people out there that
could’ve been very glad to get that simple egg and he threw it away.
That egg and so much more food that he has thrown in the trash before whenever Hyungsik hates
what Taehyung cooks for him, which is pretty much always.
Taehyung ignores the small grumble inside his stomach that keeps asking for food, deciding that he
can just get ready and have a glass of water to calm his hunger down. It should be enough at least
to trick his stomach into thinking that it’s gotten something to feed off of.
He can just do that and then have a bigger lunch. He doesn’t want to disappoint his fiancé.
│►
“...and I met this girl and she was so nice. I saw her again yesterday and it went super well, we’re
getting along rather smoothly, so I think that we may be getting onto something.” Yugyeom smiles,
lazily playing with a pen on top of the counter.
“You better really be getting onto something since you left me alone at that club without even
hesitating.” Jungkook points a finger accusingly, forging his best annoyed expression. “You
disappeared almost immediately. You simply vanished like this.” he snaps his fingers.
“She caught my eye right away, man.” Yugyeom chuckles. “Did you find someone? Or did you
just go back home after some time? I didn’t see you again after that.”
“I...” he looks down at the counter, thinking back to that night. He did meet Yun and she was
pretty and sweet but he can’t add more to the story. That’s all there is to it. Besides, he’s not really
the one to just share things, so he decides to go with the easier option there is. Lying.
“Not really. No one caught my eyes, I just drank a little and went home.” Jungkook shrugs, his
coworker’s expression turning sour. “Why are you making that face…?”
“You’ve never been with anyone ever since we’ve started working together... at least not that I
know of. I ramble to you about literally everything that happens and I don’t know shit about your
life, you’re pretty much a stranger sometimes.” Yugyeom half complains. “I mean, I do know that
you uh, like to drink... a bit. That’s all, I don’t know anything else.”
“And you’ll go on not knowing anything else.” he smiles. “Also, stop bringing my alcohol
problems up, I don’t like to talk about it, you shouldn’t even know about it.” Jungkook asks, tired.
“Right, of course, I’m sorry.” Yugyeom quickly says. “Tell me something, though…!”
“No.” Jungkook shakes his head.
“Please?” he pouts.
“No.”
“When I was eleven years old, I got my poor undeveloped penis stuck in a shampoo bottle because
someone told me that it was a great way to jerk off. Needless to say, it wasn’t anything near good,
let alone great. It’s your turn now.” Yugyeom shares with a little smile and a chuckle, gesturing for
Jungkook to go on. “C’mon, say something.”
“Great story, it sounds fucking traumatic. I never got mine stuck anywhere.” he says with a bored
expression, playing with his rings to pass the time. “Yeah, I just thought it over and I really never
got my dick stuck anywhere, I’ve always just used my hand like a normal person.”
“First of all, rude, and that’s not what you were supposed to add…” Yugyeom sighs, rubbing his
temples. “So, all I know is that you’re thirsty, possibly hate me and never got your dick stuck
anywhere. Wow, amazing. What a long list that is.”
“See? You know a lot about me.” he chuckles. His coworker fixes him with a glare. “Right ok, ask
something. One thing. Just one, I’m only answering one question and nothing else, pick well.”
“Uhm… have you dated before?” Jungkook raises an eyebrow, fairly surprised by the chosen
question. Yugyeom could’ve asked anything.
“I’ve only dated once in my life. I had a boyfriend after high school… but it ended almost before it
even began.” he shrugs. It’s not something that deep that he can’t let out, he doesn’t mind talking
about it, he’s more than over that relationship.
“Why did it end?”
“That’s another question, I said one.” Yugyeom groans with a roll of the eyes and Jungkook
chuckles lightly. “You know a lot already, you just added something else to the list.”
“Wait… Wait, so you’re into guys? We can go to a gay bar next week if that was the problem. I
don’t like men but I know that you guys have crazy fun, I could enjoy dancing there.” he suggests
with a hopeful smile, poking Jungkook’s ribs with the end of his pen. Jungkook flinches away.
“Yeah, no, I’m never going out with you again.” Jungkook complains while looking at the clock
on the wall. He should get going. “And I’m into both men and women, though I do kind of lean a
little more towards women, if I’m being honest.”
“But you’ve never had a girlfriend.” Yugyeom points.
“Wow, you’re so smart, did you get that all by yourself?” Jungkook fakes a large smile, only to get
his arm swatted. “I have to get going.” he informs.
“Therapy?” Jungkook nods, already pulling his shirt off while entering the employees’ private
room. “Our boss probably hates you so fucking much.” Yugyeom observes with a laugh.
“I’m aware. I’m fully convinced that he can’t wait to fire me, that’s why I have stayed for an extra
hour, I’m trying to maybe get on his good side again.” Jungkook sighs. “Sounds a little impossible
but… it’s what I’ve been doing. So far, no results.
“Do you even get paid for the extra hour?” he shakes his head. “That’s fucked up. This place is
fucked up. That man is fucked up.”
“Life is fucked up, not just this place and not just him.” Jungkook goes into his locker to take three
sips from his bottle, locking it again before leaving. “See you tomorrow.” he waves.
Yugyeom has to hold back his comments from the clear smell of alcohol that lingers in the air after
Jungkook speaks while walking past him. “Yeah, have a good day, Jungkook.”
│►
Jungkook listens carefully as Taehyung tells him some story of how Jimin managed to cheat on a
test back in high school, not quite feeling in the mood to share anything of his own. The talk with
Yugyeom left him with a weird feeling. He doesn’t like sharing. He shares with Taehyung because
it’s Taehyung. His therapist, his friend, who understands him and his boundaries.
There are days that he does want to sit in front of Taehyung and get something out, today is just not
one of those days, so he asked to be the listener instead. Taehyung didn’t question it, just started
speaking, and Jungkook couldn’t be more thankful.
“…and that’s how he got away with it. Have you ever cheated on a test? Your results were quite
impressive, I must say.” he rests back on the couch, his notes open just in case.
“No, I don’t think that I’ve ever cheated on anything. I love studying, learning new things… I used
to study my ass off weeks before the actual tests, it was my favorite thing to do.” Taehyung raises
an eyebrow, waiting to see if he will go on. He doesn’t.
“You wanted to go to college, correct?” Jungkook bites the inside of his cheek, playing with his
ring nervously. Taehyung doesn’t miss it.
“I wanted to major both in architecture and engineering.” Taehyung rushes to note that down with a
quiet nod. He remembers Jungkook telling him about it when they visited the park together, but he
didn’t get the chance to note it down as he didn’t have his notes then.
“Did you have the grades to get into those courses in college?” he asks, noticing how Jungkook
looks less relaxed than just a few seconds prior. He doesn’t like the topic and Taehyung can just
drop the question if it gets too much. It’s not like he doesn’t know the answer already.
“I had the grades to get into whatever I wanted, I just— it’s not important. I didn’t go to college so
it doesn’t matter.” his voice turns cold for a quick second before he sighs, rubbing his tired eyes.
He doesn’t want to be cold, Taehyung didn’t do anything wrong. Jungkook opens his mouth to go
on and apologize but he hears the faint sound of Taehyung’s stomach growling.
It’s the fifth time since they sat down.
“Are you hungry? It’s almost lunch time.” he asks with a little smile, worried.
“Oh, yeah, I uh, I’m on a really strict diet.” Jungkook’s smile falls, head tilting to the side as his
eyes turn questioning. “My wedding was sped up to be in a month from now and I’m just not in
shape for the suit that I’ll be wearing, that’s all.”
“Not in s— Who told you that?” Taehyung remains silent, looking down at his engagement ring
instead. He has to admit, he has gotten that habit from the older man, often finding himself fiddling
with his rings when nervous. Jungkook does it so much that he’s started to do it too.
Jungkook’s eyes follow the moment, picking up the silent answer and he sighs. “The guy that
you’re marrying is very lucky, you know?” he starts, getting Taehyung’s eyes to lift up to him
again. “You shouldn’t change for him. Or anyone. You have no reasons to.”
“I just... I want to be a nice uh, husband, one day. And we bought the suit already so if I grow out
of it, it will be a tragedy.” Taehyung rubs his eyes, taking the moment to avoid Jungkook’s
attentive ones. It’s rather embarrassing to admit such concerns out loud.
“Can I take you for lunch, Taehyung?” Jungkook asks, analyzing the way the younger’s expression
turns into a soft state of confusion. “Hm? What do you say?” he smiles.
“I’m having lunch with Jimin’s boyfriend but you can tag along, I’m sure that you two would
actually really like each other.” Taehyung suggests and Jungkook is quick to accept it. He wants to
make sure that Taehyung eats his lunch.
Just the thought of the younger man not feeding himself correctly over some stupid thing his fiancé
probably told him made Jungkook’s blood boil. It takes everything in him not to lean closer and
just list everything that he has noticed to be wrong with Taehyung’s fiancé but he knows how bad it
could go when done so recklessly.
Taehyung would, most likely, not even listen. It has to be something done carefully and with
responsibility and Jungkook doesn’t know how much time he actually has to see some change or to
help make that change happen. A month? That’s not a lot.
Knowing that the wedding will be happening in a month has him feeling fidgety and anxious. A
month is a really small window of time, if the wedding happens, there may not be a turning point
anymore.
“…Jungkook? Hey? Are you here?” Taehyung chuckles and he shakes his head, looking up at him
with an apologetic smile as he snaps out of his thoughts.
“Yes. Yes, I’m sorry.” Taehyung just waves him off. “I got distracted, got quite lost with my
thoughts for a moment, I’m sorry.”
“It’s alright. Do you want to share them?” yes. He does. So bad. He wants to say just how
concerned he is with the whole engagement.
But, instead, “No, maybe some other time.”
Hopefully not too late.
“Are you sure that you don’t want to share anything? We still have a few minutes.” Taehyung
glances at the timer, seeing how there’s still ten minutes before it rings.
Jungkook looks down in thought. Maybe he can share something at the very least, just so that he
can say that he didn’t make any progress. “Uhm… my coworker asked me something today and
now I kind of hate him for that.” he mumbles, playing with his ring yet again.
“Can I know what he asked?” Taehyung presses carefully, smiling.
“Just… He just asked me if I’ve had a relationship before. That’s not the bad part, it’s the fact that
it made me think back to the past and about that relationship.” Taehyung looks down at his notes,
going back to the first page. Jungkook follows his movements.
“You had a boyfriend, correct?” Jungkook blinks, a little surprised that Taehyung really has all of
those little details noted down. “For… two months, I believe?”
“Yeah.” Jungkook nods. “That’s correct.” he opens a sheepish smile, a little embarrassed. “I
basically used him to see if I was really bisexual or not, which… is terrible of me but yeah. I liked
it… and we started dating way too quickly so it was just a mess. I did have feelings for him at
some point but it wasn’t anything too deep.” Jungkook shrugs. “I was just having fun.”
“Why did it end? If you caught feelings, why the break-up?” he asks with a rather curious
expression, hand ready to take more notes.
“I didn’t treat him right. I wasn’t aggressive or anything, I’d never even raise my hand at someone
that I’m dating… or anyone in general now. I just didn’t show care, I basically only hung out with
him when it was to fuck him.” he scratches the back of his neck, no sense of shame whatsoever.
Taehyung clears his throat. “Alright, I’m following.” he says, trying to play off the blush that he
knows must be appearing on his cheeks already. Luckily enough, Jungkook’s staring down at his
hands, as he usually does when he’s thinking or speaking.
“I mean, we did see each other sometimes but I would be too cool for school when I was outside…
you know how I was in high school, I was the same with him. Then I guess he had enough of me
only caring for him when we were having sex.” Jungkook gulps. “So he dumped me not even after
two months of dating me.”
“I see.” Taehyung nods. “Do you miss him?”
“No…? As I said, it wasn’t that deep. I just feel some regret because of the way I treated him. He
was a nice guy, definitely didn’t deserve to be used just because I wanted to know if I like men or
not.” he stares at his shoes for a little while, thankful for the silence. “I was such a fucking bad
person then.” Jungkook whispers.
“Well…” Taehyung starts, being met by Jungkook’s frowny face. “What? I won’t lie to you and
say that you were nice, we both know that you didn’t act the best way back then.”
“And I’ll always be sorry for that.” he sighs. “Knowing that I’ve left bad impressions makes me
sulky sometimes. Just— If we hadn’t met again, you’d probably forever think of me as a horrible
guy. And that’s not who I am, at least I try not to be. I’ve grown to be a better person, I think.”
“Don’t think, Jungkook, you really are an amazing person now, and I don’t even know you that
well. Also, I never thought that you were… bad, I’ve told you this the first time you came here. I
knew that you had something going on, I was more curious than hurt or mad at you.” Taehyung
shrugs. “Life is all about forgiving. Forgiving, healing and moving on. You made a mistake and
the person on the receiving end, in this case, me, forgave you, so you must forgive yourself as well.
We heal and we move on, Jungkook. That’s life.”
“Forgive? There are things in life we can’t just forgive.” Jungkook scoffs, voice a little colder
again even though it has no bite to it. Taehyung can see in his face that he’s been pulled right back
in his thoughts, it’s not just about their past anymore. It’s visible.
“What are we talking about?” the question seems to snap something inside the older man who
raises his head, eyes a little wide with realization.
“Nothing— It’s nothing. Forget it, please. I didn’t say anything.” he looks away. “I don’t want to
talk about it, if that’s ok.” it’s a little above a whisper and Taehyung smiles, nodding.
“Of course it’s ok. You know that it’s ok.” he reassures.
“I’ll tell you. One day. Maybe.” he whispers the last part, a little unsure, fiddling with his fingers.
“That’s ok too.”
│►
“He’ll be here any second now, Hoseok isn’t so good at being on time when he’s not with Jiminie.”
Taehyung giggles, grabbing the menu for them to start checking their options.
“Are they engaged already?” he asks with a quiet chuckle, getting a laugh in return.
“Not quite, they want to plan it out so that they know when and where to do it, they want it to be
romantic, you know? It’s cute but they’re annoying, they’ve been talking about it for so long that
they should just go for it.” Taehyung giggles as Jungkook nods.
“I mean, a proposal should be romantic so they’re right for wanting that.” he shrugs. “And if my
memory doesn’t fail me, yours wasn’t exactly a good example of what a proposal should be, so just
sit and watch how it should’ve actually been done.” he wants it to sound casual, a little fun even,
but Taehyung frowns instead.
“Sik isn’t romantic, that’s all…” Jungkook opens his mouth to speak but the chair in front of them
gets dragged back hurriedly by a smiling man. He looks nice. Nice enough, at least.
“Hey, I’m sorry, I’m a bit late.” he quickly excuses himself. “Nice to meet you, Jungkook, right?”
“Exactly. Hoseok?” Jungkook grabs his extended hand, shaking it politely.

“That’s me.” he chuckles as he sits down. “I was on the phone with Jiminie and got distracted with
the time… I came running afterwards. It’s really rude of me, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s ok, we kept each other company.” Taehyung smiles too. “I need to quickly go to the
bathroom, you’re ok alone, right?” he asks, turning to Jungkook. He knows that Hoseok is more
than ok with strangers, but he’s not sure if it’s the same the other way around.
“Sure, go on.” they both say, gesturing him to get up and so he does, leaving his jacket on the
chair. Jungkook stares at the table for a few seconds, not sure of what to say. He’s not the best at
starting conversations, especially not with new people.
“Hey.” Hoseok is the one to call him. “Jimin told me good things about you.” he starts, posture
relaxed and a little smile on his lips. “I was happy to hear that you told Tae some things about his
excuse of a fiancé, it may seem small to you but it’s a lot for us, especially for me, I hate that
jackass with a burning passion.”
Jungkook blinks. Oh. Oh.
“Honestly? Me too.” Jungkook leans closer on the table. “I want to tell him how much the guy
sucks but I don’t want to overwhelm him, though I’m not sure when it will even be the right time to
do it, now with the wedding approaching and all… at a fast speed.”
“I just don’t understand— He’s a therapist, he probably deals with shit like this so often, how does
he not see it? Every time I say something bad, he gets so defensive like Hyungsik actually deserves
someone to stand up for him. It’s so frustrating.”
“We can’t judge without knowing… there must be something clouding his judgement, Hyungsik
has him wrapped around his finger and there must be something else that doesn’t let him see it.
Sometimes it’s harder to see what involves us than what the others are going through even when
it’s the same thing.” Jungkook speaks, words slow and a little lost in his own thoughts.
“He’s getting married in a month, we can’t let that happen, Jungkook. We will have no way back if
it happens, there’s no way, not here nor in hell, that Hyungsik will ever agree to a divorce if Tae
asks for one.” Hoseok’s voice sounds worried and Jungkook tugs at his own hair, sighing.
“It’s a sensitive topic, if we just bombard him with all of this… he probably won’t even listen to us.
He’s a firm believer that Hyungsik is a good guy.” he rationalizes.
“He listens to you.” Jungkook furrows his eyebrows, confused. “Jimin told me that he questioned
something that you told him. That has never happened before, he’s never questioned anything
related to that man. You can get to him, just— keep doing it, don’t stop whatever it is that you’re
doing.” it’s a plea, Hoseok’s eyes shining with worry.
“I had no idea that my words really meant something to him…”
“They do, Jungkook, they clearly do, so please try. Whatever you’re doing, don’t stop.”
When Jungkook tries to answer, Taehyung walks back towards the table. “Shall we order?” he asks
as he sits back down, smiling at the both of them.
“Oh, yeah, I’ll have the usual. What do you want, Jungkook?” they turn towards him and only then
does he process the mistake that he has done. He can’t afford such a restaurant.
“I’m a late breakfast eater, I’m not hungry, I’ll just have a glass of water.” he lies, forcing his face
to show no emotion. The other two seem to buy it and he ignores the emptiness in his stomach.
“Ok, but if you get hungry, you can always order something after.” Hoseok answers, closing the
menu. “And get ready to hear me talk about the drama that happened today at the office.” he
smiles, making Jungkook chuckle and nod, rather curious.
He doesn’t really know anything about Hoseok, only what he heard from Jimin but he believes
that, despite the hunger that he will have to endure, lunch may turn out to be entertaining.
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 16 │►
Chapter Notes
“Hey, Kook.” Seokjin says while parking the car in front of the clinic. “Do you want to grab lunch
at mine afterwards? Yoongi will be there too, and you should bring Moon as well.” he smiles.
“Oh, yeah, sure.” Jungkook gives him a short smile back. “I have to go back to work for a few
hours after the session but if you pick me up, we can go to my apartment to get Moon and then
head to yours.” he suggests, giving it a little shrug. “If that works for you, of course.”
“Yeah, it does. It sounds like a plan to me.” they both exit the car, the doors closing almost at the
same time. “Does Moon still have food? Or should we stop by the pet shop on the way to my
place?”
“I was actually going to buy a new bag today, we can stop there if you don’t mind.” Jungkook bites
the inside of his cheek, already knowing that his best friend will insist on paying for the dog food.
With the way his bank account cries for help, he can’t find it in himself to say no after three times
of turning it down. He can’t afford to say no.
“Of course I don’t mind. Let’s get inside, I’ll text Yoongi that we’ll be making some stops on our
way to my apartment so we’ll get there a little later.” he smiles.
“Yeah, ok.” Jungkook nods, jogging to catch up to his best friend. “You know that you can stop
giving me rides, by the way, I can walk here, I really don’t mind.”
“It’s a long walk and I’m not letting you spend your money on bus tickets, I can drive you, I don’t
mind it at all.” Seokjin waves him off, smile falling ever so slowly as they both stop walking in
front of the clinic. “I was wondering… have you told him about your financial struggles?” he asks
then, eyes glued to the floor. He doesn’t want to annoy Jungkook again.
“No, I haven’t. I’m embarrassed, he’ll think I’m an even bigger failure.” Jungkook mumbles,
looking away towards the door. He doesn’t want to talk about such an embarrassing thing.
“I think that you should tell him, Kook… it’s such an important part of your day-to-day, he may
even know of a way to help, perhaps. I don’t know, he’s the therapist, not me.” he shrugs. “Tell
him if you feel like it, if you don’t want to then it’s ok as well.” Seokjin rushes to add.
“I’ll think about it and see how the mood goes…”
The lady at the front desk is as nice as per usual, greeting him with a big smile as he bows, taking
in his identification card and handing him the same paper that she always does. Jungkook just
gives Seokjin a little nod before heading towards the hallway. He knocks twice.
“Good morning.” Jungkook greets with a smile, closing the door behind himself. Taehyung lifts his
eyes from the plant that he’s trying to water, smiling at the older man.
“Good morning, Jungkook.” the latter walks towards the couch, sitting down as he watches his
therapist water two other vases before meeting him. “Sorry, I forgot to water them sooner, I don’t
want dead plants in here, it’d ruin the whole aesthetic.”
“It’s ok.” Jungkook chuckles. “The vases are nice, they make your office look nicer and homely,
they’re a good touch.” his eyes wander, taking in how cozy everything looks. Namjoon’s didn’t
feel like that. Maybe it’s just the doctor himself. He’s way more comfortable around Taehyung.
“Oh, thanks. I got them to bring some color, everything is white, I didn’t want it to feel too…
professional, you know? Gives it a nice personal touch.” Jungkook hums, appreciative, as
Taehyung opens his notes, clicking the end tip of his pen. “So.” he starts. “How are you today?”
“A little tired.” Jungkook answers through a close-mouthed smile. “What about you?” Taehyung
blinks, a little surprised to get the question back.
“Oh— I’m…” his mind takes him to how he almost cried in the morning, to how alone he felt for
some reason but, instead, he just puts a smile on his face with a little shrug. “I’m ok, thank you for
asking.” Jungkook stares at him with his eyes a little narrowed, head tilted to the side.
He doesn’t believe him, Taehyung notes, so he looks down at his notes to pull himself back
together and think of something to say or ask in order to start the session.
“What would you like us to talk about today?” he settles for asking with a smile, watching as
Jungkook looks down at his lap, expression a little closed off and fingers nervously toying with his
rings. He’s shying away. “Hey, it’s ok, we can—"
“My job is really, really shitty.” Jungkook says, cutting Taehyung off. “I work eight hours and get
paid for about five, which is upsetting but even so, it’s the minimum that my boss could possibly
pay per hour.” Taehyung nods, a little startled by the sudden information. “I don’t know how to say
this…” Jungkook mumbles to himself.
He runs both of his hands through his hair, head hanging low, elbows resting on his knees.
“I have some money problems… by some I mean, I pay my bills and I get left with pretty much
nothing, basically. Most of the days, I have to choose between buying food for Moon or for myself,
and I always have and always will choose her, so I end up not eating for her to be ok.”
Taehyung takes the silence that follows to think, eyebrows furrowing with realization. “Is this why
you didn’t order anything when we went out?” no answer comes, only an embarrassed sigh, which
is enough. “You could’ve told me, I could’ve helped, I wouldn’t have a problem helping.”
“I fucking hate pity, though.” Taehyung’s mouth falls in surprise before he closes it, pressing his
lips together in a thin line, unsure of how to even reply to that. He wasn’t offering pity, he was
offering help to a friend, and Jungkook is quick to realize his mistake. “I’m sorry.” he says. “I-I
just hate asking for stuff, for money or for whatever, and my friends already help me so much, I
don’t want you also treating me any differently because of it. It’s something that I’m really, really
embarrassed of… this situation isn’t cool at all.”
“Everyone goes through hard times, you—”
“Would you like to know what annoys me the most? When people say that money isn’t important.
Sure, they say that because they don’t go to bed with a groaning stomach or piled up bills.”
Jungkook continues, not looking at the younger man. “And— And I’m almost thirty, I should have
my things sorted out… but I don’t. I can’t even pay for these sessions, you can’t imagine how bad
it makes me feel, knowing that my best friends are paying for this. And I know this clinic is
expensive as hell, which makes it all even worse.” he bites down on his bottom lip to try to keep
himself under control.
He has spoken too much already, he must find a stop at some point, so he focuses on twisting the
ring around his finger instead of going on with his pointless rant. It helps, it’s a way of grounding
himself, and he’s able to shut up then.
Taehyung licks his lips as he sits a little straighter, clearing his throat before speaking. “You’d
probably have enough money to keep yourself together and well-fed if you didn’t spend it on the
amount of alcohol that I saw in your fridge…” Taehyung regrets the words as soon as they leave
his mouth. He can’t believe that he actually just said such a thing.
Jungkook’s eyes shoot up at that, hurt and disbelief flashing behind them. “Taehyung… I’m sorry,
what?” Taehyung opens his mouth, ready to apologize, but Jungkook beats him to it. “You said
that you’d never judge me…” he whispers, voice failing at the end. Taehyung feels a pang of guilt.
“Y-You know that I only drink because of my dreams… it’s not like I want to do it.”
Taehyung watches as Jungkook’s entire demeanor changes, shoulders sagging, eyes turning empty;
a slight shake to the hands, voice weak. He feels beyond horrible.
“I’m really embarrassed of it, I hate that it happens, if I could not drink, I wouldn’t. How— Why
would you just say that?” he whispers the end, afraid that his voice may crack and expose how
close he already is to tears. He sounds so hurt that Taehyung can’t believe it’s his fault.
“Drinking isn’t something to be embarrassed—”
“Yes, it is. I feel like a fucking teenager who doesn’t know how to get a grip on himself. If I don’t
drink, I see and remember things that I just want to forget— believe me when I say that I don’t
drink because I love whiskey or because I love never being sober. It’s embarrassing and I hate it so
fucking much.” his eyes have a new layer of wetness and Taehyung closes his mouth so tight his
jaw becomes prominent. He can’t believe he upset Jungkook this much.
Taehyung gets up from his couch, sitting down close to Jungkook, not too close but definitely at
arm's reach. He places a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder carefully, thinking clearly of what he’s
going to say before he attempts to do so. “Before I met my fiancé, when I was in college, I went
through a hard time dealing with stress.” Taehyung says, hand lowering a little until it’s innocently
resting on Jungkook’s back instead, rubbing slow reassuring circles at the center.
Jungkook looks up, confused. “Yeah?” he whispers, encouraging Taehyung to go on.
“My family has… well, they have money, so I didn’t hesitate before filing my minibar at the dorm
with booze. You have a reason and I didn’t, I just… had a weak moment in my life. It happens, it
can happen to everyone. It doesn’t mean that you will stay like this forever, Jungkook. I only did it
for a little while, I could count the months with just one hand, so I can’t even begin to imagine how
complicated it is for you to stop, someone who has been drinking constantly for years.”
“The problem isn’t even the stopping itself, it’s what stopping brings. I can’t sleep, Tae...” he
whispers, relying a little on the hand on his back to relax. “It fucking haunts me…”
“I know. I know, don’t worry. But what I’m trying to say, and why I even told you this, is because
I want you to know that what is happening now, won’t be happening forever. We don’t know how
tomorrow will be like, your nightmares may come to an end... one day.” Taehyung explains with a
reassuring smile. “Don’t be embarrassed of any hardship that you have right now, your future may
be completely different. And I’m so sorry that I said what I said, I wasn’t thinking and that’s not
your fault, you shouldn’t be on the receiving end of my recklessness.”
Jungkook nods, feeling way more understood and somehow reassured. Taehyung always has this
effect on him. “You don’t look like someone who would go for drinks.” he decides to joke to
lighten the mood, his smile returning. Taehyung giggles.
“Neither do you, hyung.” the blonde chuckles quietly as he goes back to his couch, happy that he
was able to ease Jungkook back into the conversation. That’s how he likes him and all of his
patients. Relaxed. Definitely not upset because of something that he said.
“Oh, please. You look at me and you see misery and sadness written all over my face.” Jungkook
says with a light scoff, a large smile stretching his lips but Taehyung doesn’t agree.
Doesn’t agree one bit. “No, I don’t. I see a young, handsome—”
“I mean, I know that I’m handsome. I can be handsome and sad, though.” he cuts in, voice way
more confident and posture a little cocky, even. Taehyung raises an amused eyebrow.
“You’re... oddly confident about this, huh.” Taehyung teases given that he’s not used to seeing
such a side of the older man. Jungkook usually just looks down on himself, seeing him praise
himself is new and incredibly refreshing.
“I may be broke and an alcoholic and what not, but I’m still really good looking.” he pokes the
inside of his cheek with his tongue while gesturing to himself with one hand and Taehyung giggles
with a nod. It really is refreshing.
“You are, indeed.” it’s nice to see Jungkook happy, Taehyung concludes. He really likes him like
this, he’s glad that there’s something that Jungkook can be confident about, it’s a nice change.
He wants to see more of this happiness and that’s exactly what he aims for during the rest of the
session, which is an easy task when they’ve become so comfortable with each other.
The next time that Jungkook takes a look at the alarm, they’re on the last ten minutes. He opens his
mouth to start a new topic when he hears Taehyung’s stomach growling. Again. He watches as
Taehyung places a hand over his belly, looking down at his notes.
Jungkook frowns. Taehyung’s still not eating, even after Jungkook told him that he shouldn’t be
worrying about fitting or not in his suit. He closes his eyes tight, inhaling sharply to be able to
gather his courage. “Taehyung— Can I tell you something? About our high school years?”
Taehyung looks up, surprise behind his eyes. Jungkook was never the one to talk about high
school, stating multiple times that those years were some of the worse in his life. “Yeah, of
course.” he confirms, gesturing for him to go on. “You can tell me anything.”
“Only if you promise not to make it weird afterwards.” Jungkook points with a finger, looking
directly into Taehyung’s eyes, who simply nods again. “Well... there’s more as to why I bullied
you in high school. There’s more as to why I acted that way towards you.”
“Oh.” is all he says, a little surprised.
“Yeah.” Jungkook chuckles. “You... uh, wow, this is weird and awkward as fuck to say now, but
uh, you may have… you may have been the reason why I figured out that I was into guys in the
first place...?” his tone turns questioning by the end, figure shrinking a bit with embarrassment.
Taehyung blinks.
Then he blinks again.
“What?” again, a blink. “I mean— What?”

“Uh, yeah... you see, you were the pretty new kid and I was confused as to why I even found you
pretty to begin with. Men weren’t pretty to me before then. When it started to hit me, the reason, I
mean, I got really confused and scared because— well, that doesn’t matter why right now...
Anyway, by making fun of you, people definitely wouldn’t think that I was somewhat into you and
I was also able to… ignore it myself.” he looks up while biting his bottom lip, watching as his
therapist looks beyond shocked. His palms start sweating.
Why did he say that? There’s no way back now, so might as well finish.
“I-I was also jealous that you could just be the gay kid, freely and so unapologetically yourself, it
wasn’t just because I had uh, a crush of whatever.” Jungkook looks away, scratching the back of
his neck awkwardly. He needs an answer before he starts thinking of the worst-case scenarios.
“Jeon Jungkook had a crush on me? Now this, this is the weirdest, most unexpected thing that I’ve
ever heard in my life.” Taehyung half-jokes, eyes still a little blown wide. Jungkook can’t blame
him, it does sound impossible considering everything. So he laughs, beyond relieved and thankful
that Taehyung isn’t kicking him out, judging him or anything of the sort.
“I know, right? You’re really pretty, though, so you can’t blame me.” Jungkook tries to emphasize
it again, wanting Taehyung to feel nothing but confident about himself and forget whatever his
fiancé has told him about his body. His fiancé that should be long gone already.
“How long did it last?” the therapist asks, curious.
“I think that it was just a couple of months...? Until I left high school, at least. The vague feelings
vanished when I met my ex-boyfriend, anyway. It’s still crazy to think about it. I was never going
to tell you this.” Jungkook admits, palms still a little clammy. “This was a secret that was supposed
to go with me to the grave.”
His shoulders relax when Taehyung laughs quietly, looking up at him with his eyes wrinkling on
the sides, amused. “Can you imagine how crazy it could’ve been if you had told me about it
instead of acting the way you did?” he chuckles once again and Jungkook takes a second to think
of that. Would they have gotten close? Would something happen between them?
“It’s weird to think of the ‘what if’s’ of life because in the end, it is what it is, so I never really do
it, really.” he dismisses the thought. It’s impossible and it even feels weird to picture. “Like, yeah
alright, imagine that we dated as kids or whatever, that didn’t happen and never will so why
thinking about it? I don’t like doing that.” Taehyung raises an eyebrow, smiling with a nod.
“You’re a very realistic guy.” Jungkook shrugs with a nod. Taehyung suddenly gasps. “Oh! Oh
God, I forgot something, I’m so glad that I remembered— Would you like to come to the
wedding? We’ve started to think about the list of guests and I wondered if you’d like to attend.”
Jungkook’s a little taken aback by the question, eyes going wider. How can he, nicely, say that he
doesn’t even want the wedding to happen? “Yeah.” he says, instead. “That’d be... lovely.” he lies,
putting on the fakest smile to date.
“I’ll talk to Hyungsik about it, I’m sure that he won’t mind.” Taehyung smiles.
But Jungkook does. He does mind. He doesn’t want to go.
│►
“...but the kid is good, really, he took that guitar for the first time in his life and picked up some of
the notes so easily. Besides, the chords hurt your fingers at the start but he didn’t really show any
signs of discomfort, he was just loving it.” Yoongi continues talking about one of his music
students, an impressed and somewhat proud expression on.
“That’s so cool. Your students are way better than my stupid clients, they get on my nerves every
day.” Seokjin chuckles. “I almost threw a case away today because a woman kept acting like I owe
her anything.” he goes on, pointing at the with his chopsticks, cheeks full of food.
“You really need to have a lot of patience to deal with such annoying clients.” Yoongi shakes his
head. “What about you, Kooks? How was your day?” they both turn to their best friend who’s just
quietly enjoying his dinner while looking at a sleepy Moon on the floor, her tail wagging from time
to time. If he sneaks her little pieces of his food, no one needs to know.
“Oh, it was ok... there was an annoyingly rude customer but Yugyeom was the one dealing with
him so it was just boring for me.” he shrugs. “I guess that I can share that I did something in
therapy that could’ve gone... really wrong.”
His two friends share a confused look before turning to him again. “What did you do?” Yoongi
asks, chuckling at the end. “What could’ve gone wrong?”
“I told Taehyung that I had a crush on him back when we were in high school. We’re friends and
he’s engaged, it could’ve been taken the wrong way. Imagine if he thought that I still have any
feelings or something.” Jungkook explains.
“Wait... weren’t you like, his bully?” Seokjin asks, getting a sigh from the other.
“My whole family was homophobic as fuck, I was scared of being bisexual, so yeah.” Jungkook
watches as his friend’s mouths fall open in utter surprise and so he blinks. “What?”
“This is the first thing that you’ve ever shared about your family.” Seokjin whispers.
“Oh.” it comes out way too quickly, realizing what he just said out loud. Oh. “Well, yeah, there
you have it, something about me. Anyway, can we move on?”
Yoongi forces himself to close his mouth, unlike Seokjin who shamelessly continues to have his in
an almost perfect O shape. “Do you still... you know, like him?” Jungkook frowns.
“It’s been ten years, Yoon, I never even deeply liked him, I was confused and curious, definitely
attracted, but that’s it. It’s done and over with now, he’s my friend.” he explains, waving his
chopsticks around a little. “All I feel is care and trust, he’s helping me a lot and he’s a nice friend.”
“Alright...” they nod. “So, about your fami—”
“Don’t.” Jungkook is quick to say, voice lower, warning. “Don’t go there.”
“Shut up, Jin.” Yoongi kicks him under the table, making him hiss in pain. “We’re happy that you
and Taehyung have grown closer, that way you can easily trust him and that surely is better than
you hating your therapist.” he points out.
“I’m happy too, honestly. We just get along so nicely.” both of his friends smile.
“I want to meet him someday.” Yoongi says.
“Hm, you might.”
│►
“Come here.” Jungkook smiles as he pats the bed, Moon running towards him before jumping on
the mattress. “Good girl.” he says while petting her, a loud kiss being planted on the top of her
head. “Let’s sleep, lay down.” she obeys right away. Well behaved as always.
He watches as Moon licks her paws, getting ready for a long nap, passing on to her stomach after
some time. “I got invited to the wedding. Well, not completely, he still has to ask his asshole of a
fiancé first, but it’s the intention that counts.” he starts.
Moon stops to look at him, huffing through her round, boop-able nose but goes back to licking
herself in a second. “I don’t want to go even if Hyungsik allows me to. I don’t want that wedding to
happen, Taehyung’s my friend and that relationship just... isn’t good for him. It worries me a lot.”
Jungkook sighs as he opens the first drawer on his bedside table, pulling out a new bottle.
He sighs yet again, Taehyung’s words popping into his mind, like they did multiple times
throughout the day. He knows that he could save a lot of money if he didn’t drink, especially as
much as he does. He’s fully aware of that. “I wish that I could stop you know...? Just lay down
right here with you and go to sleep like a normal fucking person, I really wish that I didn’t have to
keep doing this to myself but those dreams scare me so much...”
Jungkook looks down, twirling the bottle.
“Do you think that, one day, we’ll be able to just be a normal family? You, me and... someone
else? In a future where I’m not an alcoholic and have enough money to get you those good dog
treats, hm? The ones we see on the television, you know?”
Moon whines a little, scooting closer before letting her fluffy head on his stomach. “I hope it
happens, but I can’t even picture it fully.” he closes his eyes, sipping more from his bottle. “This
makes me want to cry. This is so stupid and— and humiliating and embarrassing, you deserve a
good owner, not— not me.” Jungkook rasps out, eyes starting to sting a little with hot tears.
His hands are quick to wipe them away rather aggressively. “So stupid.” he whispers. “I just wish
this could all change. It has to. I don’t know how much longer I can take this.”
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 17 │►
Chapter Notes
Taehyung looks down at the coffee mug, stirring it slowly, almost as if to take longer than
necessary. He wonders if he has added the right amount of sugar or if he will have to make the
third coffee just this morning. He doesn’t want to be late for work.
So with a last sigh, he grabs the spoon and takes it between his lips for a first taste. It’s good, he
thinks. He added less sugar than the first one and, in his opinion, it’s neither too bitter nor too
sweet; it’s just the right mixture of the both.
He takes the mug between his palms, making his way towards the office that his fiancé uses way
too often when he’s at home, knocking twice and only pushing the door open when he hears the
faint indication that he can do so. “Hey.” he smiles. “It’s done, I hope that it’s up to your taste
now...” Taehyung bites down on his bottom lip as he takes a few steps closer, placing the mug on
the desk next to his busy fiancé.
According to him, he couldn’t go to the office due to some maintenance on his floor, so he had to
stay home, still working as hard as he always does. However, he still refused the chance to have
lunch with Taehyung, something that they never do together. They used to, at least during the first
month of their relationship, then they sort of just… stopped.
They stopped doing a lot of things together past the one-month mark.
Which is normal. Right?
“How is it?” Taehyung asks, hands clasped in front of his chest as Hyungsik takes a sip before
putting the mug down again with his face void of any emotion, so Taehyung can’t quite guess what
he’s thinking. Maybe it’s a good sign. At least he hopes so.
“It’s acceptable.” he sighs, clearly disappointed. Taehyung’s shoulders sag.
“I-I can make another one if—” he’s met with his fiancé’s unimpressed expression so he just nods,
looking down in shame. “I should go to work, then. I should’ve left already…”
“Work.” Hyungsik chuckles as if it’s some kind of joke. “Sure, go.” he gestures for him to leave
and Taehyung clears his throat, knowing that there’s still something important for them to talk
about. He’s just nervous. “What?” Hyungsik asks, realizing that he hasn’t moved.
“Honey, can I uh, can I ask you something?” Taehyung whispers, fingers a little shaky as his fiancé
looks up from his papers questioningly. Taehyung just stares back waiting for permission.
“Are you going to say it or just continue to waste my time?” he snaps after a few seconds.
“Oh.” Taehyung blinks. “I-I just wanted to ask if we can add another person to the wedding guest
list...?” Hyungsik sits up straight, the chair bending back a little as he crosses his arms.
“And who would that be, Taehyung?” he asks.
“Uhm...” Taehyung looks down, gulping. “A-A friend.”

Hyungsik scoffs. “A friend? What friend?”
As the blonde looks up at him, eyes filled with worry and hesitance, he wonders if he’s supposed
to feel like this with the person that he’s going to get married to in less than a month. He shouldn’t
feel scared to asking him something, right? So why does he? Why do his hands shake and his heart
beat so fast?
“I wanted to invite Jungkook...” it’s a soft whisper, scared of what may come his way. At first
there’s only silence but then there’s a mean chuckle followed by a weak punch to the table.
“You’ve got to be shitting me.” Hyungsik says while rubbing his eyes incredulously. And then he
chuckles again, almost in disbelief. “It’s not possible that you’re actually standing here asking me
if that fucking idiot can attend our wedding.”
“He’s not an id—” he closes his mouth, inhaling. “He’s my friend, so why can’t he go?”
“I don’t give a shit, friend or not, he’s not going. And don’t you ever even dare say his name in this
house again unless it’s to tell me that he died, do you understand?” Taehyung’s mouth falls open at
the cruel words, taking a step back. “I asked, do you understand?”
“Y-Yes. I’m sorry, he won’t go. I’ll leave now.”
“Come here.” he gestures for Taehyung to get closer and so he does, having his hair pulled down
with little to no finesse as he’s forced into a kiss in which he finds himself relaxing a little. He’s
blind enough to think that it means anything when it doesn’t. Not to Hyungsik, at least.
“I love you, you know that, right?” there’s a fake caring touch to his cheek that is gone before he
can even have the chance to lean into it. He wishes Hyungsik would caress him more… like in the
movies or the books that he often finds himself getting lost into. Everything is always so romantic,
so fiery… so why don’t they feel that way?
“I love you, too.” Taehyung whispers back with a smile.
“Now, go.” Hyungsik is quick to drop his smile and gesture towards the door. “I have a lot of work
to get done, leave my office.” he instructs, voice close to being a harsh demand.
“Yes, of course.” Taehyung bows. “Have a good day, honey, call me if you need anyt—“
“Ok.”
│►
“Hey, Taehyung.” he hears as soon as he leaves his office and so he stops in his tracks, turning
towards the end of the hall where his coworker stands. “Can we have a word or are you busy?”
“Oh, sure we can, I was just on my way for lunch.” he closes the door behind himself before
striding over to Namjoon, who simply leads him inside with a faint gesture of the hand.
“I wanted to ask you about that patient that you transferred to me, who immediately told me to
eliminate him from my patient's list. I haven’t seen him ever since and I just wanted to know if you
two worked out whatever was coming between your sessions or if he really has dropped therapy.”
he half sits back against his desk, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Jungkook? Yeah, I took him back, he was here just two days ago, he didn’t drop therapy. He was
going to, but we uh, we talked. So yeah, he’s alright, thank you for asking, he’d love to hear about
this.” he smiles, proud of himself for standing his ground and not dropping a patient just because
Hyungsik asked him to.
“That’s good to hear... he took the news really badly, I heard about the incident of him showing up
completely drunk out of his mind, I guess he got pretty attached to you.” Namjoon comments with
worry all over his features. “I felt so bad for the guy when I told him that you had transferred him,
his expression was... bad. He looked so hurt, I didn’t even know what to say.”
“Don’t even tell me about it... the amount of regret that I felt when I saw him that… that broken
because of my reckless decision was bone-crushing. But really, I took him back and he will soon
come to yet another session so it’s all been fixed, no need to worry.” he smiles again.
“That’s what I like to hear.” Namjoon nods. “Also, I just bought my new suit for your wedding, I
can’t wait for it to come, you two have been engaged for quite some time, huh?” he beams.
“Over two years, yeah.” Taehyung bites down his bottom lip, remembering the times in college
that he gushed about his fiancé to Namjoon during classes. It’s crazy how they went from majoring
together to working together, too. He holds Namjoon in a very dear spot in his heart.
“I can’t wait, I love weddings!”
│►
Jungkook chuckles as Moon jumps around, her front paws hanging in the air almost acrobatically
as soon as he gets her bag of food. “Don’t act like you didn’t eat just two hours ago.” he tuts with a
smile, dropping some of the content into her aluminum bowl, watching as she immediately dives
in, munching loudly on her food.
The large bag is still pretty much full, having been bough just two days ago and it’s a relief
knowing that he doesn’t have to worry about it for at least a few days. A week, if she doesn’t eat
too much.
He’s startled by loud barks and only then does he realize the echo of the doorbell, confused as to
who’s paying him a visit. Seokjin and Yoongi are both occupied, they told him that much earlier,
so he can’t even begin to guess who it might be.
His blood cools down with the prospect of it being his landlord, mind already coming up with
multiple different excuses and ways to beg him to close his eyes on the issue for at least another
month. Moon is still barking at the door, the loud sound ripping through her throat as he checks the
peephole, becoming both relieved and confused.
He pulls the door open nonetheless, raising an eyebrow. “Hey Tae.” he greets and Taehyung offers
him a smile as he says the same word back, lifting up a hand that holds a white plastic bag with
what smells like some type of delicious food. Jungkook just stares for a second.
Though he snaps out of it as Moon goes back to her gymnastics to try to sniff the food. “Go eat
your food, c’mon, inside.” he snaps his fingers once, pointing towards the kitchen and the dog licks
Taehyung’s hand as a short greeting before obeying.
“She’s very well trained.” Taehyung comments, impressed.
“Yeah, she is.” Jungkook grins. “What are you doing here?” it comes alongside a hand gesture for
Taehyung to walk in, and so he does, the door closing right after.
“I had news to share with you so I figured that I didn’t have to wait until you went back to the
clinic for a session. We’re friends, right? It’s not... weird that I came here, is it?” Taehyung asks
and he’s visibly worried, smile dropping just a little.
“It’s not weird, I was just surprised.” he’s quick to reassure. “You’re lucky that today is my day
off, I wouldn’t be home by this time.” Jungkook chuckles as he leads the way to the kitchen.
“I was actually worried that you wouldn’t be here.” Taehyung admits. “I also don’t know what
type of food you like, I thought about perhaps cooking but I have to go back to work soon so I
wouldn’t have the time to prepare a meal for us to eat right now...”
If he ever got home with takeout, his fiancé would be positively angry at him, probably wouldn’t
even eat the food and would still get Taehyung to cook something for them. It’s a set routine
already, Taehyung cooks. He figures it’s normal, Hyungsik is the businessman after all.
“It smells great, don’t even worry about it.” he says while gathering the chopsticks and glasses to
take to the couch where they can eat more comfortably since it’s just takeout, but he can’t help but
to think, in the back of his mind, that Taehyung is doing all of this just because he got to know
about how Jungkook struggles financially.
He hopes that that’s not what’s happening. He hates pity with all his might.
“So.” Jungkook starts as they sit down, Taehyung’s jacket discarded and boxes of food in their
hands. “What news do you have for me?” Taehyung sighs. “Bad news…?”
“I mean— kind of, yeah.” he toys with the food on the little box, eyes falling on Moon for a short
second before looking up at the older man again. “I talked to Hyungsik earlier this morning and he
uh, he doesn’t really want you to go to the wedding...”
There’s a beat of silence before Jungkook shakes his head with a smile. “Should I act surprised
now?” Taehyung furrows his brows, confused. “He made you transfer me, I’m not surprised that
he doesn’t want me there on your wedding day, Tae.”
“Oh.” Taehyung says then. “I guess that that’s a smart thought, but I really hoped that he wouldn’t
mind, you’re my friend.” Jungkook stops munching on his food, looking at the younger man with a
heavy heart. He feels bad. “But it’s not like he’s letting me pick anything for the wedding, anyway,
so I too shouldn’t be surprised.”
“What do you mean?” he grows even warier with the confession, not really getting what it may
imply, it’s Taehyung’s wedding too, he should get to pick whatever he wants.
“He has this… thing for being in control, I guess, and he likes to pick everything on his own and
make the decisions on his own, which is ok, I don’t— It’s ok, really. I guess that I’m just upset
because it’s my wedding day too, you know?” he chuckles, a little awkward. “I’m sorry, I’m telling
you this and making the mood all weird…”
“Don’t apologize, I’m here if you need to talk. And I asked, after all.” Jungkook reassures, just
about hating how conscious Taehyung is every time that he talks, like he doesn’t know when he
can speak or how much he can share. It makes Jungkook wonder if his fiancé doesn’t let him
speak, if his fiancé refuses to listen to him as well. “Now, about what you said, you have all the
rights to feel upset, angry even. It’s your wedding day, he should let you have just as much of a say
on things as he does.” he crosses his legs on the couch, getting more comfortable.
“I didn’t have many requests anyway, I just wanted a purple tie. I guess that I can just accept
another color, it’s… ok…” Taehyung mumbles, embarrassed.
“Ok? It’s so not ok. Especially now, knowing the full context. You only wanted one thing and he
couldn’t let you have it?!” Jungkook scoffs. “You really shouldn’t be ok with that, why can’t he be
the one accepting a purple tie?” Taehyung looks over at him, out of words.
He doesn’t know. He has no answer to that.
“It’s just a tie.” he smiles, sadly. “I can’t get so upset over a tie, right? It’s not worth it.” Jungkook
swallows his food without even munching completely, putting the box down before turning to his
side to take Taehyung’s hands between his.
“Taehyung.” he starts, voice firm but soft. “It’s your wedding day too. What you want, whatever it
may be, should be taken in consideration at the very least. As you said, it’s just a tie, if he can’t
accept a fucking tie, then there’s something wrong with this whole situation. With him.”
Taehyung stares at him in complete silence, processing the words slowly. He knows that the elder
is right, he thinks the same way, but his fiancé is right too, he supposes. “I-It’s not a big deal,
really. It’s just a tie.” as he smiles again.
Jungkook lets out a sigh while letting go of Taehyung’s hands. The latter can see the faint
disappointment behind his eyes and his poor heart really stings at that. He doesn’t want to neither
disappoint nor upset Jungkook.
Little does he know that Jungkook isn’t disappointed in him but in himself for not being able to
change Taehyung’s view, to open his eyes. Taehyung is just that oblivious to the reality that he’s
immersed in. He just hopes to be able to pull him out before it’s too late.
│►
“Hey.” Jungkook greets with his hands shoved deep inside his pockets. “I’m really sorry for
coming here with no previous warning, I just wanted to uh, ask you for a favor.” he explains.
“Oh, sure.” Seokjin says with a shrug and a smile, stepping aside for his friend to go in but he
gives him a shake of the head instead. “You’re not coming? We should sit down.”
“I won’t be long.” he politely declines. “I was wondering if you could… lend me some money—”
“Yeah, I can.” Seokjin interrupts, taking another bite from the apple in his hand. Jungkook didn’t
even notice the green fruit until now, too distracted by the plans in his head.
“I didn’t even tell you what I need it for…?” his eyebrows come together in a frown but Seokjin
simply waves him off. “No, I can’t just let you give me money without even asking what I need it
for, it feels—”
“Kooks, please, you never accept money so if you’re asking for it then it’s because it’s something
important. You don’t have to tell me, I don’t mind not knowing, I’ve learned my lesson on that talk
with Taehyung.” Jungkook’s shoulders fall, surprised. Oh. That’s quite nice to hear.
“Okay…” he stands there when Seokjin holds a finger for him to wait and goes back inside, only to
return with his wallet in hand and no apple. Jungkook gulps, a little embarrassed. He doesn’t just
ask for money and he can’t believe that he’s actually doing so.
“How much do you want?” it’s a simple question but he feels his whole body heating up with
embarrassment and shame. If the money wasn’t for such a good cause, he would never be standing
in front of his best friend asking for such a thing.
“Uhm… like, fifty bucks?” he bites down on his bottom lip as Seokjin takes a few bills without
questioning. “I-I promise to pay you back as soon as I can.”
“Don’t even sweat it, you don’t have to return anything.” his eyebrows furrow in a slight frown that
has his best friend laughing quietly. “Don’t be so angry, if you really want to pay me back then you
can save the money to the side, but I won’t accept it so just spare the two of us.”
“Ok…” Jungkook sighs as he takes the bills in his hand. “Thank you so much, Jin, really.”
“It’s nothing, don’t even worry about it.”
│►
Taehyung stops folding the shirt when he hears the doorbell ringing and glances at the watch on
his wrist with a confused expression. He’s quick on his feet, unsure of what to expect from the
other side. From the peephole, he doesn’t see anyone, so he frowns even more.
He’s ready to give a piece of his mind to whoever has decided to ring the doorbell and run but once
he yanks the door open, there’s a little box on the floor. He quickly looks around. No one.
He bends down to grab it, finding a small note on top of the box so he takes it in his hand. “It
sound be your day too… what?” Taehyung reads, searching for a name, but there’s nothing, not
even a small indication of who it might be from, so he closes the door again, slower this time.
Only does he open the box once he sits down in bed, mouth falling in surprise as he sees a purple
tie; a soothing fabric that looks soft to the touch. A quick flick of the finger is enough to confirm
his suspicions, it is indeed very soft. His eyes light up as he realizes what it means.
It’s Hyungsik’s way of apologizing, he figures.
So he quickly jogs towards the office, knocking once before pushing the door open, the lovely gift
still in his hand. “Who told you to come in?” Taehyung ignores that, smiling widely instead.
“Thank you so, so much for the tie, honey.” he says as he walks closer. Hyungsik gets up at his
words, expression turning sour. “I just know that it will look amazing with the su—”
“What the fuck is that?” he points towards the box, an angry frown on his face. Taehyung’s smile
falters. “I didn’t fucking buy you this, give me the tie right now.” Taehyung takes a defensive step
back, holding the tie against his chest so that his fiancé can’t take it from him.
Taehyung gulps. “I-I thought that it had been you, honey…”
“Who the fuck bought you this?” Hyungsik asks as he walks around the table, hands itching to rip
the fabric in two. “Let me guess… your new boy? What’s his stupid name? Jungkook, was it?”
Taehyung looks down immediately, eyes widening. Was it Jungkook? Did he buy him this? It does
make sense, getting the tie right after opening up about the situation, but it feels unreal that
someone really took his words so seriously.
Did Jungkook really buy him the tie?
“No, it was Jimin, I remember him now referring to buy me this days ago.” Hyungsik seems to
relax at that. “I’ll— I’ll just put it in my drawer.” he gulps while walking away, relieved that his
fiancé didn’t say anything else after hearing that it was from his best friend.
He’s quick to get his phone out, typing a simple, ‘Thank you for the tie… you really didn’t have to
but it’s beautiful.’ that he sends with a little hopeful smile. It had to be Jungkook, because who
else? He hasn’t told anyone else about it.
Besides, if it wasn’t Jungkook, then he’s about to embarrass himself as well.
‘I hope that it matches your suit’ is the answer that comes after not even twenty full seconds, a little
heart emoji at the end that makes Taehyung giggle. His fingers quickly type a reply, asking how
did he even get his address, but when Jungkook says that he asked Hoseok, using the fact that they
exchanged numbers, he’s not that surprised.
He stares down at the beautiful purple tie, mind suddenly reminding him about what Jungkook has
said. He struggles with his money, yet he still spent it on a tie just because Taehyung said that he
wanted it… it makes it mean even more. So much more.
‘It’s really, really pretty and soft but you shouldn’t have just spent your money on it…’ he types
with a heavy heart. He doesn’t want to be a bother, especially knowing the circumstances.
‘Don’t worry about that.’ he receives after a few seconds. ‘A pretty tie for a pretty man, hm? Just
worry about wearing it beautifully on your wedding day, even if I don’t get to see it!’ Taehyung
reads to himself, blushing without even noticing.
He quickly types a reply with an embarrassed emoji that positively makes Jungkook chuckle on the
other end. It feels nice, knowing that he has a friend that goes to such lengths only to make him
smile like this. He likes the feeling.
Having Jungkook is nice.
│►
Hyungsik groans to himself as his mind keeps going back to the stupid tie, pushing his chair back
with too much force, which causes it to tilt back and almost fall. He doesn’t care, though. He
strides over to the bedroom where he knows his fiancé probably is, pushing the door open just as
hard as he did with the chair moments before. He finds it empty.
The shower is on, he can hear the water, so he walks over to the bed to pick Taehyung’s phone up
instead. He knows the passcode, having told Taehyung that he must know it without even giving a
solid reason, and Taehyung gave it to him without question.
He opens the message application, frowning once he sees that the first chat available is, just as
suspected, Jungkook’s. His finger quickly scrolls through the conversation. Hyungsik can feel his
blood boiling when he reads over Jungkook calling Taehyung pretty.
“Taehyung’s not fucking pretty.” he groans to himself, putting the phone down with a long and
dragged exhale. He won’t show just how angry he is. Instead, he takes his time unbuttoning his
shirt, folding it neatly just like the rest of the suit that he still put on just to stay at home. He’s not
the one who has to worry about washing and ironing them.
The shower stops and he realizes that he doesn’t have that much time until Taehyung walks into
the bedroom, so he doesn’t fold his slacks as properly as he would. Instead, he sits in nothing but
his boxer shorts until he hears the door opening, his fiancé standing there with a mere towel around
the bottom half of his body.
Taehyung is startled by the sudden image of Hyungsik just sitting there. Waiting for him.
“Come.” he instructs and Taehyung puts his hairbrush down, walking closer. “I want us to have sex
right now.” it’s the only thing he says and the blonde has to stop himself from cringing at the
crude, disgusting words. He can’t find sexy talk sexy at all.
He knows his place, and he knows what he has to do, so he just takes his towel away, letting it fall
to the floor, before getting himself on the bed, stomach down. Hyungsik doesn’t like to look at him
during their shares intimate moments.
The hand that comes down on the back of his neck to press his face into the mattress isn’t news
and surely isn’t unknown, so he does his best not to make any sound. He doesn’t enjoy it, the
roughness, especially because Hyungsik doesn’t know how to be rough but careful, and definitely
doesn’t know what’s like to be careful afterwards.
Taehyung hates their intimate moments, he doesn’t get how people enjoy sex so much when he
could easily just get rid of it forever. He doesn’t need or want that in his life.
“You know, I’m pretty angry today.” he hears his fiancé say as the fingers on his neck tighten just
a little bit more. “You better be ready for it.” there’s a loud smacking sound and it takes him a
second to even process the pain on his butt cheek. “Are you?”
“Y-Yes.” he lies. He’s not.
He never will be, truly.
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 18 │►
Chapter Notes
I wrote this after two days without sleeping so there might be a lot of typos... try to
ignore them please
Taehyung shifts in his sleep, feeling an uncomfortable weight on top of him, making it almost
suffocating, hard to breathe. Once his senses start working, he realizes that there’s more to it: a
worked-up breath on his neck, the movement of the bed itself, back and forth even if slowly.
He opens his eyes, confused as to what’s happening, gaping when he sees his fiancé sprawled on
top of him with little to no care, slowly rubbing himself on Taehyung’s thigh. He’s not quite sure if
he should say anything; after all, Hyungsik has told him that he wants Taehyung to be quieter in
moments like these. So he just gulps, staring up at the ceiling.
Taehyung bites down on his bottom lip to stop himself from speaking when he feels a hand pulling
his shirt up with little to no finesse. There’s a groan and the weight suddenly leaves. He lets out a
long breath, almost relieved.
But he can’t help but wonder why has Hyungsik suddenly stop. “What’s wrong?” he whispers.
“Your stomach turned me off.” Taehyung blinks, hugging the sheets close to his chest. “There’s
only one week left to the wedding and yet, you’re still looking like this. What’s the goal? Not fit in
the fucking suit, Taehyung?” his fiancé sounds angry and, while Taehyung understands his
frustration, he believes that there are better, nicer words to use.
“I-I tried…” he whispers again, knowing that there were days where hunger did get the best of him
and he forgot about the diet forced upon him. There were days where a chocolate mousse after
lunch sounded too appetizing to reject. It’s his fault for not cooperating, he knows.
“Clearly didn’t try enough, as we can see from the results.” Hyungsik rolls his eyes, getting up
from the bed with nothing but a shirt on. “Our wedding pictures will be embarrassing, I can’t
believe this.” Taehyung closes his eyes, turning around, hands gripping the fabric of the sheets.
“I’m sorry…” he says.
Is it supposed to feel like this? Is it supposed to hurt when he thinks about the wedding? He
doesn’t want to ruin it, disappointing his fiancé is his greatest fear, but lately he feels like that’s
really the only thing that he does. Disappoint Hyungsik one way or the other.
“I’ve heard so many apologies from you already, yet, nothing changes.” Taehyung ignores the
sting behind his eyes, the watery feel to it. He’s going to cry if he doesn’t get a grip on himself.
“I’m sorry.” he says, anyway, words followed by a gulp.
“Just get my coffee ready.” Hyungsik spits out.
“My alarm hasn’t—” Taehyung stops as soon as their eyes meet. “Yes, honey.”
│►
“No…!” Jungkook laughs with an embarrassing snort as Moon barks at the napkin that he waves
around. ”Oh? What’s this? What’s this?” he provokes, making her bark again, bouncing on her
front paws. “Shush…!” he slurs as he places one of his fingers against her nose before bopping it
and laying back down. Moon whines, climbing in bed next to him as he goes back to waving the
napkin around. He always has such a good time with her.
“I’m hungry.” Jungkook tells her in a quiet whisper. “I could really use some lunch but I’ve eaten
ramen about thirteen times this week, I feel like I’ll barf if I eat it again.” he huffs.
He opens his mouth to speak but the doorbell rings as if on cue. Moon is already barking her way
to the door before he even has the time to put the whisky bottle and the napkin away. “I’m going!”
he yells, not too loud, when the person on the other side rings again. He immediately knows who it
is when instead of waiting, they ring about five more times. “I’ll break your finger.”
Seokjin scoffs when the door is pulled open. “You wouldn’t hurt a fly, Kooks.” he ruffles his hair
that he has to run his fingers through and lock behind his ear, his bangs starting to get a little too
long. He needs a haircut. He doesn’t dislike it, but he should probably cut it.
“You’re really non-threatening.” Yoongi says then. ”You may have the muscles and be reserved
but your heart’s too good, way too big, for you to be scary in the slightest.” Jungkook pouts,
knowing that they’re right; he could never hurt anyone, so he doesn’t protest against it.
“What are you two doing here anyway? You didn’t tell me that you were coming.” he follows
them, nostrils flaring at the smell of food. They came in just at the right time. He was starving.
“Actually, because of a coincidence. We went to grab takeout at the same restaurant and so we said
‘fuck it’ and came here so that we could all eat together since today you have night shift and all.”
Yoongi explains with a little shrug.
“Oh, okay.” he nods as he sits himself on one of the chairs. “I was kind of hungry anyways…” it’s
a quiet mumble, an embarrassed one at that. Seokjin is quick to think of a way to lighten back the
mood, not enjoying seeing any of them so sulky.
“I got a new client today, it’s a young woman who’s trying to get a divorce a mere week after
getting married and…” Jungkook looks down at his food, the words not quite processing anymore.
Wedding. There will be a wedding happening in a week.
A wedding that shouldn’t be happening. At all.
He can’t help but imagine how things will be like after it. If they’re already bad then if Taehyung
and his fiancé actually tie the knot, will they get even worse? Taehyung has sported some bruises
every now and then, bruises that Jungkook made sure to, indirectly, say something about even if
his comments just go past Taehyung’s head.
Disappointment is an understatement. He can’t believe that he can’t bring himself to just straight
up sit Taehyung down and tell him everything that he thinks — that he knows — is wrong with his
engagement. He was never the one to not say what’s on his mind, so he has no idea why the
thought of Taehyung getting mad at him scares him so much.
He doesn’t want to lose his friendship but that makes him selfish, doesn’t it? Thinking about what
he wants to maintain instead of thinking about how Taehyung’s life will be ruined if the wedding
happens. He’s a selfish person, a terrible human, and he knows that.
“Why are you staring at your food like that?” he hears and so he snaps out of it, looking up at his
friends. “What are you thinking about so hard?” Seokjin asks with a chuckle. “What’s up?”
“Just… Uhm, well, Taehyung’s getting married in a few days…” Jungkook sighs, putting his
chopsticks down to rub his eyes. “Which is really fucking terrible and it can’t happen.”
“Why is it a bad thing…?” Yoongi tilts his head. “Oh? Do you wish he was marrying you
instead?”
“What? No!” Jungkook frowns. What in the world was that question? “I just— his fiancé isn’t the
best guy. And by that I mean, if he died, I would write down the day so that I could celebrate it
every year from then on.” he elaborates.
“That’s quite some hate you have there for him.” Yoongi chuckles. “Are you going to the
wedding? Were you invited for it?” he asks.
“Tae wanted me to but… no. His fiancé doesn’t let him invite me.” he chuckles bitterly. “He’s not
letting Tae pick shit, not even his damn suit— he just wanted a stupid tie.” Jungkook goes on even
if he doesn’t want to speak so much. It’s Taehyung’s private information after all.
Seokjin and Yoongi share a knowing look.
“I uhm, I bought him one, purple just as he wanted. But I don’t think that he will be able to wear it.
His fiancé is an actual piece of fucking trash.” he inhales to stop himself, aware of how mean and
angry he’s sounding. That’s not him, he doesn’t get angry, he’s not mean.
“You bought him the tie?” Jungkook nods. “Kooks, that’s so fucking cute.” Seokjin comments
with an exaggerated coo. “Wait… is that why you asked me for money? To buy the tie?”
“Yeah.” he whispers. “I just wanted to make it a little better for him, however it may be, but I don’t
think that I was successful in any way.” Jungkook gulps. “I tried.”
“You tried, Kooks, whatever happens, it’s not your fault. You tried to prevent it from happening
and that’s already huge.” Yoongi reassures. “And let’s just change topics, this is clearly upsetting
you… I want to meet him.” he says. Jungkook tilts his head. “I want to meet him because he’s
doing you so good, I want to personally thank him.”
“He hates me, I think.” Seokjin adds with a laugh. “From that talk I had with him, I think that he
wants me gone…!” Jungkook chuckles.
“And it’s understandable, can you blame him?” he asks, half-joking. Taehyung’s too good to hate
his friend just based on one encounter and one action. If he doesn’t hate Jungkook, then he
certainly can’t hate Seokjin either.
“Taehyung was very protective of him.” Seokjin explains to Yoongi with a little knowing smile.
“They’re protective of each other, then.” they both smirk, Seokjin wiggling his eyebrows
suggestively, stopping when Jungkook looks back at them.
“Yeah, we’ve become good friends with time, and probably will continue to grow closer if we go
on like we’ve been.” he explains, warily looking between the two.
“Oh, yeah, friends.” Yoongi nods. Jungkook frowns, confused. “Don’t you think that you two are a
little too close for a therapist-patient relationship?”
“Yeah—? Of course, that’s why we’re friends, above that.” he frowns even more. “Don’t speak
like it’s so weird, we just clicked and we’ve got a past… kind of, it’s not that much of a reach for
us to be friends. We get along nicely, our personalities don’t clash.”
“Well… yeah, ok, you’re right.” Seokjin nods, taking a sip from his soda.
Jungkook puts his chopsticks down before getting up. “I need to piss, don’t let Moon on the chair.”
he indicates, looking at her who just raises her head from the floor. “I’ll be right back.”
Seokjin watches as he leaves, waiting for the bathroom door to close before speaking. “They
should date, if you ask me.”
“What the fuck, Jin.” Yoongi laughs. “Where did that come from?” Seokjin glances at the door to
make sure that Jungkook hasn’t returned for whatever reason. “Speak, go on. Why did you just
come up with that one? I’m curious.”
“I don’t know, like, Kooks had a crush on him already.” he points out with a shrug.
“Yeah, like, a decade ago.” Yoongi raises an eyebrow.
“Yes, but think about it, it means that he’s attracted to Taehyung. They’re getting closer, what if it
comes back? They clearly care a lot about each other and dating would be a good thing for our
Kooks, that’s for sure…”
“I don’t know… imagine that it doesn’t go well—? Kook loses both his boyfriend and his
therapist, the only person that he seems to trust… is it really worth the risk?” they both fall silent,
looking at each other. Seokjin sighs.
“I don’t know, but he can’t be alone forever. It’s lonely.”
“We’re single too, dude.” Yoongi says with a roll of the eyes.
“We’ve dated many times, we’ve been on so many dates too, I’ve never seen or heard of him with
someone… maybe he’s asexual?” Yoongi snorts, getting a defensive slap on the arm. “I’m serious,
maybe he just doesn’t—”
“Being asexual doesn’t mean being incapable of love. Maybe he just hasn’t met anyone that pulls
at his heartstrings, you’re thinking too deep into this.” he points. “We can’t know for sure about
anything with that guy, he doesn’t share shit, so we can’t just take shots in the dark.”
“I can’t stop imagining him finding someone and dating and being actually… happy. That’s the
only thing that I want right now.” they both sigh, unable to say anything as the door to the
bathroom opens, Jungkook shaking his hands, not dried enough by the towel.
“Why are you two suddenly silent?” he asks with a curious raise of the eyebrow. “Were you
talking about me?”
“No, no. Just wondering what to do in the afternoon since you have work soon… sit down.”
│►
“Hm.” Jimin swallows the wine in his glass, putting it down on Taehyung’s nightstand. “Turn
around, let me look at you.” he smiles, wide eyes watching his best friend attentively.
“How do I look?” he giggles as Jimin sniffs, actual tears pooling in his eyes. Jimin isn’t sure if
they’re from happiness or sadness. Maybe a mixture of both. Some pride, too.
“Amazing, Tae…” a whisper. “What’s that?” he points towards the purple tie inside the suit’s box,
leaning closer to grab it. “This would look amazing on that white suit, oh my God.” his excited
smile falls as soon as he notices Taehyung’s change of demeanor, his shoulders sagging a little.
“What’s wrong?” he pulls him by the hand so that they’re both sitting down in bed.
“I can’t wear it… Sik doesn’t want me to.” Jimin frowns, placing the tie on the mattress.
“But you bought it, why wouldn’t you say ‘fuck Hyungsik’ and rock that tie anyways?” he
suggests, knowing way too well that his best friend would never go against his fiancé.
Taehyung sighs. “I actually didn’t uh, buy it. Jungkook gave it to me as a gift after I told him about
being upset that Sik didn’t allow me to get a purple tie.” Jimin has to bite the inside of his cheek to
stop himself from smiling widely.
“Even more reasons to wear it, Jungkook would be happy, don’t you think? If your happiness is
important to him, his should be to you too.” he still smirks a little, not being able to keep it.
“And it is but… my fiancé comes first.” Taehyung states. “I love him and— I’m nervous about not
being enough for him, the wedding is starting to stress me out.”
“He’s the only one who’s not enough, you’re the full package in every single way. Trust me on
this, you really are.” Jimin places a hand on Taehyung’s knee. “How about… How about you go
meet Hyungsik tonight before he comes home and you two go have a nice dinner together to uhm,
you know, discuss the wedding and all? You two need that time together.”
“He doesn’t want me to go to his workplace.” he looks down.
“Tae, please. You two are getting married next week.” Taehyung nods, rubbing his sweaty palms
on the sheets. “Do this for yourself.”
“Ok.. a dinner would be really nice.”
│►
Taehyung checks himself on the reflection of the elevator’s walls, liking the way Jimin styled him
for the dinner. His dangling earrings shining even more than his eyes that hold back his excitement.
He has only once visited Hyungsik at his workplace, on his promotion day, but he still remembers
where his office is. So that’s where he heads to.
The secretary is missing from her table at the front and he wonders if he can just go in.
He can, right? It’s his fiancé, he must be able to.
Excitement and happiness bubble at his lower stomach, already imagining the amazing dinner and
end of the day that they can have together. He fixes his shirt once again, clearing his throat before
knocking once and pushing the door open. “Hi, hon—” his words die.
Hyungsik pushes away from his desk, pulling his pants up with a hurried hand; the woman that is
sitting on top of the desk quickly gets up as she pushes her dress down, her red lipstick smeared all
over her face. Taehyung’s mouth falls open in surprise, the tear rolling down his cheek almost
automatic. He doesn’t even feel it coming.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Hyungsik asks, taking a step closer, lips red with remains of
lipstick. Taehyung blinks. “It’s not what he looks like.” he says, placing his hands on Taehyung’s
cheeks. “I love you, you know that—”
“What did I do wrong?” he whispers.
“What?”
“W-What do I do wrong? I’m sorry for whatever it was but— but I’m— I—” Taehyung stutters,
not finding the words to let out.
“What do you mean you love him?” the woman asks. “We’ve been together for months, what the
fuck is going on?” Taehyung steps back, Hyungsik’s hands falling from his cheeks.
“What?”
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 19 │►
Chapter Notes
“We’ve been together for months, what the fuck is going on?” Taehyung steps back, Hyungsik’s
hands falling from his cheeks.
“What?” he whispers, looking at her with tear-filled eyes. He sniffs, trying to understand what
could’ve been happening before he got there. “W-Was she attacking you? We can— Did I do
something wrong?” Taehyung asks again, stepping closer to his fiancé. “We can— We can work
this out, Sik, I’m sorry—”
Hyungsik’s eyes light up with wicked hope. “That’s right, we can work this out, because we love
each other, you know that.” he says as he places a warm hand on his cheek, ignoring how much he
hates to do it. Taehyung smiles through his tears, nodding multiple times. They can work it out,
they can. “You know that—”
“No. Hey, listen to me.” the woman calls for their attention, making the both of them turn to her;
Taehyung sniffs. “Honey, you’re not forgiving this shit, I don’t know what’s— What in the world
is even happening? Who are you?” she asks, but she doesn’t sound angry at him.
“I-I’m his fiancé… who are you?” Taehyung half whispers and she scoffs.
“I’m his girlfriend.” Taehyung gapes as she grabs Hyungsik’s forearm, pulling the man away from
him. “He’s been fucking playing with us both all along.”
“No, he— that’s not possible.” he whispers. “W-What have I done? Please tell me, we can work it
out, we can— please.” Taehyung sobs, stepping closer to grab a fistful of his fiancé’s shirt.
“Shut up, you’re sounding ridiculous.” the secretary pushes him by the chest, making Taehyung let
out a startled gasp. “And you, you fucker, you’re going to tell us what you have been doing before I
mark that stupid face of yours with my nails.” she points one of her fingers, making her threat clear
as her shiny red nail lines up with his cheek.
“You can’t demand anything from me, just fucking leave me with my fiancé.” Hyungsik rolls his
eyes, stepping closer to Taehyung but the young man takes a step back, cautious. “What the actual
fuck, Taehyung?” he almost spits.
“Y-You heard her, I want to know too.” he requests. Hyungsik doesn’t say anything, deciding that
he can just take another step towards the blonde. “Tell us everything, Sik. Now.”
“Taehyung—”
“Tell me!” Taehyung yells, taking another step back, his hands shaking by his sides. “Just— Just
tell me. Please.” Hyungsik’s jaw is as prominent as ever, biting down on his teeth hard in anger.
“You want to know?” he yells back. “Do you really want to know that bad, Taehyung?” the blonde
flinches, head dropping in hesitation. Does he want to know? He doesn’t. Hyungsik loves him,
Hyungsik loves him, they’re in love. He doesn’t need to know, he doesn’t want to kn—
“Yes, we want to know. Now.” the woman is the one to speak after an exaggerated roll of the eyes
at Taehyung’s antics. It’s hard. It’s excruciatingly hard.
“Shut the fuck up.” Hyungsik tells her. “Don’t think that you’re so fucking special yourself, there’s
more of you, or didn’t you think that it was weird that I never took you to my place?” Hyungsik
spits, taking a step towards her. Taehyung jerks away as the room is filled with the sound of skin
against skin, Hyungsik’s cheek turning a deep shade of red, fingers well imprinted.
“You’re absolutely disgusting.” she tells him. “And what have you been doing to your poor fiancé?
Do you not have any sense of shame? At all? No fucking consideration for any of us?!”
“Explain the rest to me.” Taehyung whispers. “I want to know everything.”
“I used you for a promotion. There. Is that what you wanted to know so bad?!” he throws his hands
in the air, exasperated, positively ignoring the tears that are quick to start streaming down
Taehyung’s cheeks. “For a fucking promotion and for your money, and also the fact that you’re so
incredibly stupid and naïve and did everything that I wanted without even questioning it. Is that
what you wanted to know? That this relationship disgusts me? Huh?” Hyungsik screams the last
part, taking another step towards the blonde man, grabbing his jaw.
“I don’t understand… Is it me?” he whispers. “We’ve been together for— I’m sorry, why did you
do this? F-For a promotion? And do you still not feel anything for me even after living together for
so long…? I’m sorry if— I’m sorry, Sik, I wish you loved me too, we can… uhm, work on it…”
Hyungsik groans, stepping away after gripping Taehyung’s jaw just a little harder. “I’m so done
with you, you’re so fucking annoying.” he says, finally speaks his mind after two years of lying
and coming up with excuses on the spot.
“N-No, I’m sorry, we can work this out, we can—”
“Honey, you’re not working anything out.” he looks to the secretary when she holds onto his
shoulders. “Stop being stupid, it doesn’t look nice on you, this amount of ignorance.”
“B-But—”
“I don’t want you in my apartment anymore.” Hyungsik breaks the silence as he grabs his
belongings. “And you’re fucking fired, don’t come back tomorrow.”
“Sik— No, I don’t have a place to stay, that’s my house too, we can solve this, please.” he grabs
onto his shirt, a desperate sob breaking through his throat. “S-Sik, please—”
“Oh my God, let go of me.” Hyungsik slaps his forearm, making him jump back, startled. “I’ve
had enough of this shit, I’ve got my damn promotion, I can’t continue to deal with you every day,
just— don’t ever step foot in my house again.”
Taehyung gapes, taking a step closer. “W-What do you mean? You love me, I—”
“You’re honestly pathetic, I’ve never loved you.” Hyungsik scoffs, freeing himself before heading
out of the office without even looking back at them again.
Taehyung can feel his heart falling to the bottom of his stomach, heavy, pulling away his ability to
breathe. “T-That has to be a lie…” the door closes and he feels his knees going weak, feels as
though someone just pulled the rug from under his feet, making him fall unceremoniously.
He’s just lost his fiancé. His house. His future.
│►
“Hey, girl.” Jungkook smiles as soon as he opens the door, being met by a loud bark. “Shush, it’s
getting late, you can’t bark, c’mon.” he places a finger on her small nose, smiling. “Should we get
you some food? Hm?” he chuckles as she barks again at the mention. “You’ll get us evicted one
day.” the clueless animal follows him, tail wagging from one side to the other, sitting in front of
her bowl as she waits.
Jungkook holds the bag of dog food, stepping closer, but stops, furrowing his eyebrows at the
sound of the doorbell. He looks back at Moon, mind running through the possibility of it being a
neighbor complaining about her barking. It wouldn’t be the first time and surely not the last.
He quickly fills her bowl before heading towards the front door, the bag still in his hand. It takes a
look through the peephole for him to be confused again, hand working a little too fast to twist the
keys to open the door at the sight of his most recent friend standing on the other side.
“Tae— Oh my God.” Jungkook is quick to put the bag down, taking a step closer to the younger
man whose tears still haven’t found a stop. “What happened? Hey, breathe, c’mon, it’s ok.” he
places a warm hand on his shoulder, leaning down to be able to meet his eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“I-I shouldn’t— I’m sorry for coming here.” Taehyung sniffs. “I-I could’ve gone to Jimin but— I
feel like they don’t really get me but— I can’t go, actually, are you busy—”
“Hey, please, Tae, breathe. I’m not busy and it’s ok for you to come here, please come inside with
me, let’s take a seat.” Jungkook gestures, stepping aside so that Taehyung can walk into his living
room, sniffing and wiping away his tears. “Come with me.” it’s a soft instruction, and he takes the
bag of food to leave somewhere safe from the dog herself.
She would eat it all at once without a single pause.
Jungkook sits down on the couch, patting it so that the younger man does the same. “What
happened? Do you want to talk about it?” he asks, voice still soft, carefully watching the other’s
reaction. Taehyung just stares down at his lap. “We can just sit here, too, it’s ok either way.” he
reassures with a little panicked smile. Taehyung looks… devastated.
“No, no, I— I’d like to tell you…” Taehyung whispers. “If you don’t mind listening…”
“Of course I don’t… I’m all ears.” Jungkook encourages.
“Sik and I broke up.” his voice fails him. “I found him with another woman and apparently there
are many more women that he was dating at the same time…” he breaks down in a sob, hiding his
face in his hands and Jungkook is quick to lean in.
“I’m so sorry to hear that…” Jungkook lies, pulling him by the shoulders into a hug, not even
trying to stop himself from smiling widely. “I’m glad that you broke up with him, though. He—”
“H-He was the one doing so… I wanted to work things out, we could try to fix it and— and he just
— he broke up with me, hyung.” Taehyung shakes with a new sob, gripping onto Jungkook’s shirt
tighter. He frowns, pulling away at the new additional information.
“You wanted to fix it?” Taehyung nods. Jungkook decides that he’s had enough of keeping his
opinion to himself. He can’t possibly let Taehyung go back to Hyungsik. “Tae… can we talk? Can
we have a serious conversation?” the younger looks confused, but nods nonetheless. “He was
never a good fiancé to you, your best friends were right for hating him and I did too. A lot.”
“You did? What…? He was not a bad fiancé… no…” Taehyung whispers.
“He hit you. I know that he did, you don’t have to lie to me anymore, and I’m so fucking sorry that
I never did anything about it, I just didn’t know how to approach the topic… I was scared that
you’d be mad at me, too. What he did to you was not ok. Always controlling you, hitting you, not
letting you make your own decisions… it wasn’t ok, Tae. I could sit here and lie and say that it’s
sad that you two broke up but I’m so fucking glad that it happened. You two getting married
would’ve been the worst thing that you could ever do to yourself. The biggest mistake.”
He stops his small rant with tears shining in his eyes, unable to just listen to Taehyung cry like this.
“He said—” he sobs quietly. “He said that he was with me for a promotion…” Jungkook gulps, a
tear breaking free at those words. He can’t believe that someone would ever do that.
“I’m so sorry, Taehyung. You deserve so much better.” he whispers, pulling him back into a tight
hug, this time Taehyung’s head resting against his chest, a hand fisting the front of his shirt as the
other rests on his lap, engagement ring still on his finger. “So much better. So much better.”
“I’m going to end up alone. I don’t even know how I got Sik and now I find out that it was just for
a promotion and money… I’m never going to have a happy relationship, am I? If what you said is
true, then it’s what I deserve, it’s what I’ll ever have, I will never—” Jungkook places his finger
carefully on the blonde’s plump lips, effectively shutting him up.
“Don’t say that. Everyone would be so lucky to have someone like you, you will find the one who
will treat you right. You’re so smart and pretty and you’re really understanding, selfless, you’re so
extremely caring… shit, Tae, I’d be lucky to ever find someone like you one day. That guy doesn’t
deserve one single tear that you’re shedding for him.” Jungkook feels a horrible pain in his chest;
he doesn’t like to see Taehyung cry, he’s concluded. Sadness doesn’t look good on him and so he
wipes his tears away, wants to make them disappear.
“Thank you.” Taehyung sniffs again, snuggling closer to the older man. “You’re amazing, you
know? Seriously amazing.” it’s a whisper so soft that Jungkook almost misses it. He chuckles.
“No, I’m not.” Jungkook quickly denies. “I’m everything but amazing.”
“You’re so understanding and supportive, Jungkook, and you’re handling my sobbing mess…” he
whispers, eyes closing. Jungkook’s arms feel like a safe place and his cologne smells relaxing.
“And you handle all of my emotional baggage every day.” Taehyung only sniffs. “Come here, cry
all you want, hyung’s here, it’s going to be ok.” and so he does. He cuddles into the other with his
heart heavy in his chest, emotions all over the place, crying harder than ever before.
He’d never expect to feel this safe in Jungkook’s arms.
But truth is, he does.
│►
Jungkook stops petting Moon the moment that the bathroom door opens, revealing a slightly less
devastated Taehyung, face washed and tears wiped away. “Come here.” Jungkook calls as he
reaches for the cup of water next to him. “Take this, it will help with your headache.” he instructs
as he hands it over, placing a pill on Taehyung’s open palm.
“Thank you…” he swallows it with just two gulps, looking away to the small clock on the wall.
It’s past one in the morning, Jungkook should probably be sleeping already and he’s keeping him
awake because he can’t stop crying. He’s the biggest inconvenience.
Taehyung sniffs, eyes catching the sight of a bottle on the table. “Can I… Can I have a bit?” he
points and Jungkook has to turn around to check what he’s being asked for. He stills.
“No, you can’t.” Jungkook is quick to say. “I’d rather take you out for ice cream or something like
that, I’m not giving you alcohol.”
“But I’m really sad, hyung, I just want to… not think right now. Please, I’ll get you a new one
tomorrow, or two.” Taehyung almost begs, eyes filling up with tears yet again. He can’t believe the
reality that he’s in. It doesn’t feel real at all.
“Look at me, Tae… look at what I became by thinking that alcohol could ever be a solution. Let’s
get ice cream, I’m not letting you drink. Not on my watch, and I’m also not leaving you alone so
the final answer is no, either way.” Jungkook explains. “Let’s go for ice cream.”
“I don’t want to keep you up… I already feel bad for coming here but you— you understand me
better than Jiminie and Hoseok… I don’t know, I’m able to open up to you way easier.” Taehyung
explains and Jungkook smiles at that. “I’m comfortable with you.”
“Well, I’m glad that my own thoughts are reciprocated, and I’m happy that you came here. I
wouldn’t want you going through this alone or with people that may pressure you without even
meaning to.” he places a hand on Taehyung’s knee, smiling without showing his teeth. “I’m here
for you, ok? Always.” Taehyung nods, relief and adoration in his chest. “Ice cream?”
“Yeah… that sounds nice right now.” he sniffs. “Can we take Moon with us?”
“I’m sure that she’ll be very happy to go out so yes, of course we can take Moon.” Taehyung
smiles then, even if a tiny smile. It makes Jungkook smile too. “Your smile is beautiful. Don’t lose
it for someone who doesn’t deserve a second of your time.” the younger looks down.
It’s hard to think that way.
Sounds impossible, even.
│►
“Here.” Jungkook hands him the tub of ice cream, the biggest one that he could find at the old
convenience store, given everything else is already closed for the day. Luckily, it wasn’t that
expensive despite the size, and it’s strawberry flavored, just like Taehyung requested.
“Thank you…” Taehyung whispers, taking out the spoon from his pocket; spoon that he took from
Jungkook’s kitchen before leaving. Only one, though, Jungkook stating that the night is too cold to
eat ice cream at the park. Taehyung disagrees. It’s never too cold for ice cream.
“What are you thanking me for, Tae?” he asks as he sits down, knowing that the younger man isn’t
thanking him for the ice cream. Maybe partly, but there’s definitely something else.
“I just feel so freaking stupid.” Taehyung whispers. “And scared. My life is completely ruined right
now, it’s… upside down. It’s not what I’ve been building up and working on for the past two years
after college, all of that is just… gone.” Jungkook looks away, just to keep an eye on Moon,
quickly turning back to the blonde, whose tears have come back, as thick as ever.
“I can’t tell you what will happen now, but I know that it’s going to be ok, you’re going to be fine.
Well, better than you were with him, that’s certain.” he places a warm and reassuring hand on the
small of Taehyung’s back, rubbing soothing circles. “It’s alright.”
“But it’s not alright, I— I was engaged, almost married, just a few hours ago. And now? Now I’m
the person that was used for a stupid promotion and— I’m so sorry that I’m here crying, you’d
probably be asleep by now.” he sniffs, filling up his mouth with ice cream.
“I rather have you here than you being with your friends. This is such a shitty situation and it
wasn’t just a breakup, you need to understand that the relationship that you two had was not what
you thought it was, even if it’s tough for you to see it now… and I don’t know if your friends
would know how to keep their emotions aside to respect yours. I’m more relaxed knowing that
you’re here instead.” Jungkook says, words slow. He doesn’t want to overwhelm him by speaking
too much or pushing too far.
“I’m so scared.” Taehyung whispers. “I-I want to fix it with him, I could— he could start loving
me, right? We were engaged after all.” he looks at Jungkook with such hopeful eyes that it
physically pains him to be in this position. Taehyung looks back down at his lap when he reads the
expression plastered on Jungkook’s face.
“Tae, look at me.” but he doesn’t, only focuses on the ice cream container, tears still streaming
down his face. “Please, look at me.” Jungkook whispers as he places a hand on top of his. It’s gone
right after as he raises it to Taehyung’s cheek instead when their eyes meet, carefully wiping away
his tears with his thumb. “Remember the story that I told you about my parents?”
Taehyung nods, confused.
“Remember me telling you briefly that my dad used to abuse my mom?” he whispers, the words a
little rougher, emotion trying to take over him. He’s never talked about it so openly before.
“Yes, I remember that… it was that session that you turned very quiet. Why?” Taehyung whispers
back, still trying to catch up to the intention behind the sudden mention of the past.
“You can see how terribly toxic that relationship was, right?” Taehyung nods, clueless. Jungkook
sighs, unsure of how to go on. “You… You know that hitting your partner, treating them wrongly
and being mean to them, yelling… is not how a relationship should go, don’t you?”
“Yes, I do know that…” he gulps down another spoonful of ice cream.
“Then why did you accept it from him?” Taehyung looks away, silent, mindlessly toying with the
spoon. “He didn’t treat you like a fiancé should. I understand if it’s hard for you to see it, like I told
you in one of our first sessions, sometimes people don’t see the shit that they have at home and I
know that that’s your case, so it may take you a moment to see it… but you will eventually.”
“I just thought that he loved me.” his voice breaks. “I-I love him, hyung. It hurts.” he says, voice
so weak and raw that it turns into a mere whisper again. So faint and broken.
“I know.” Jungkook nods. “I know that it does, but it will get better.” Taehyung sniffs, filling his
mouth yet again. “Is it helping? The ice cream?” Jungkook asks, trying to change the topic to
something lighter even if for just a moment.
“I mean… a little. You’re the one helping, though.” he smiles, wiping away his tears with the back
of his hand. Taehyung takes a piece of ice cream on his spoon, holding it out for the older man to
take. Jungkook leans away.
“Oh— No, thanks.” Taehyung pouts, pushing the spoon just a little closer, silently offering it
again. Jungkook chuckles before opening his mouth to accept it, the coldness making the hairs on
his arms rise. It is a cold night, after all.
“I’m sorry for ruining your night.” he whispers as Moon runs back to them, tired of running around
the park. “I just knew that you’d be better than anyone at dealing with this… which was proven
right. You’re able to make me not think that much about it and you always know what to say,
which is why I feel so comfortable sharing with you...”
“I’m happy that I can help you, Tae. I always will.” Taehyung closes the tub of ice cream, putting it
down on the grass before pointing towards Jungkook’s lap. The latter follows his finger, trying to
understand his silent request. “Of course.” he nods.
Taehyung lays down with his head on his lap, Jungkook’s arms stretched back to hold himself up,
fingers mindlessly gripping the grass. They’re both silent for a long while, perhaps even over thirty
minutes that Taehyung spends just looks at the sky. Jungkook’s eyes keep drifting between him
and Moon, not wanting to be the one breaking the comfortable silence.
But after seeing the deep frown on the other’s forehead, he has to. “What are you thinking about?”
he asks in a soft whisper; Taehyung looks at him. “Hm?”
“How do you know that I’m thinking?” he asks and Jungkook simply chuckles with a shrug.
“I can almost hear your mind working.” Jungkook teases. “What has gotten you so worried?” he
asks then, even though that he knows Hyungsik is the root behind all of that.
“Just… Sik kicked me out.” Jungkook stills. “I don’t want to bother Jimin and Hoseok, they’ll get
engaged soon and they’re building their life now and it would just… ruin it for them. Then my
parents and my sister live back in Daegu… I don’t have a place to stay.” he looks away.
Jungkook doesn’t even give it a second thought. “You can stay in my apartment.” Taehyung
immediately looks up at him, surprised at the offer.
“I can’t ask that from you, I’ll just stay in a hotel until I find a place. In here it will probably be
hard but… I’ll try. Seriously, don’t worry...” Jungkook sits up more correctly, still with Taehyung’s
head resting comfortably on his thighs.
“I’m not letting you stay alone at a hotel when you’re like this, you may do something stupid like
go back to that piece of s— to him. And you shouldn’t be alone through heartbreak anyway. It’s a
small apartment, it only has one bedroom, but I can take the couch, it’s pretty comfortable.”
Taehyung goes silent, looking both at him and Moon, processing the offer. It’s really not a bad
offer. He doesn’t want to be a bother, but being with Jungkook does sound way better than staying
alone at a hotel. With Jungkook, his mind always relaxes. He enjoys his company a lot.
Jungkook understands him like no one else.
“I’ll take the couch then.” Taehyung finally says.
“No, not a chance.” he shakes his head.
“But it’s your apartment.”
“My apartment, my bed, and I don’t want it anymore. Please, take it, I barely sleep anyway, you
should take it, I’ll happily sleep on the couch.” Jungkook smiles, placing a hand on Taehyung’s
cheek for just a short second. “I’ll take the couch, don’t worry.”
“We can switch. I take the bed some days, other days you take it.” Taehyung suggests, a little smile
hiding away the tears. Jungkook feels proud of himself for once.
“Ok, fine, but tonight is definitely your turn.” he chuckles. “We’ll talk about this in the morning
when we’re both freshly rested, alright? You don’t even have to make such a serious decision right
now, but tonight you’ll stay over, I’m not letting you go somewhere else like this. It’s so late
already, you need to sleep.” Taehyung nods, ever so slowly.
“You need to sleep too.”
“Don’t worry about me, let’s go back and get you in bed, how does that sound?” Jungkook offers a
warm smile as the younger man sits up, his hair a little messed up from where it was resting against
Jungkook’s legs.
“Sounds good… I just want to sleep and pretend that this is all a nightmare.” he whispers.
“When the break-up pain goes away, you’ll realize that this is the best dream. Not a nightmare.”
│►
Jungkook takes another long sip from his bottle, hand still moving ever so slowly to comb through
Moon’s fur. He lets out a heavy sigh, head falling backwards at how tired he feels, wanting nothing
but to fall asleep as soon as possible.
Moon raises her head with a whine when they both hear a small sob, Jungkook’s head lifting up
again. He thinks that he may have imagined it but, soon enough, there’s a sniff and so he puts his
bottle down to get up on his feet.
His legs are a little wobbly, he has been drinking for almost an hour already, the alcohol has
definitely kicked in but he slaps himself awake to be able to go to his bedroom. He knocks once
before pushing the door open, Taehyung’s cries ceasing altogether.
He knows that Taehyung’s just trying to play them off and hide the fact that he’s crying, so he still
makes his way towards the bed, kneeling in front of the younger man whose eyes meet his right
away, filled with tears. “Did I wake you up? I’m sorry.” he says, voice a little too rough from
crying into the — pleasantly smelling — pillow.
“No, I wasn’t sleeping yet.” Taehyung immediately furrows his brows, looking attentively into his
eyes as if searching for something. The dilated pupils.
“You were drinking.” he states. He would know by the alcohol smell in Jungkook’s breath
anyway.
“That doesn’t matter.” Jungkook whispers back, raising his head to push Taehyung’s bangs away
from his eyes. “Do you need something? I don’t like the fact that you’re crying alone…”
Taehyung sniffs. “It’s exactly what I need, though.” he closes his eyes. “It hurts a lot, hyung, I just
want to be able to cry and— and be alone… please. If you don’t mind…?”
Jungkook forces out a smile. “That’s ok.” he nods, finally taking his hand away from Taehyung’s
hair. “Call me if you need anything, alright? Even if I’m sleeping, promise that you’ll just wake
me up.” he holds out his closed fist, only his pinky finger sticking out and Taehyung giggles
through his tears, linking his own pinky with it. They both lean in to kiss their own hand.
“I will, thank you, hyung.” Jungkook turns off the small light that Taehyung still had on and leans
down to press a reassuring kiss to his forehead before walking out, closing the door carefully.
He sighs, resting his back against the door for a second before going back to the couch where
Moon is still laying down. Jungkook takes his spot back, hand already around the bottle. “I’m very
unsure about this.” he whispers to her. “I don’t know if I’m the right person to take care of
someone else… I’m not stable myself, how can I—” Jungkook sighs, taking a sip. “I want to be the
one to be there for him because he’s there for me too, and he’s literally the only person that I trust
and am able to talk to but… what if I can’t provide the support that he needs?”
The silence that settles is relaxing. He doesn’t hear the small sniffs and sobs anymore. “I guess I
did something good.” Jungkook whispers. “He’s the only one that keeps me up lately, if he goes
down and I go down too, won’t we just be dragging each other even lower?” Moon raises her head,
whining at the fact that he’s not cuddling her to sleep yet.
Jungkook sighs. “I just hope that I’m enough. Heartbreak must be hurtful as hell… but I’m so
fucking happy that it happened.” he chuckles. “Sleep.” a sip. “I’ll join you in a bit.”
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 20 │►
Chapter Notes
I know these are really sensitive times so please, if you have Twitter or if you can sign
petitions, make sure to support the Black Lives Matter movement, just retweeting the
threads and supporting the hashtag is already a lot!
Taehyung whines a little as his headache hits right as soon as he opens his eyes, wanting nothing
but to go back to sleep and ignore his alarm, but he sits up in bed, turning it off as he rubs his tired
eyes. He knows that he probably looks beyond terrible but it’s with the last remaining motivation
that he pushes off of the mattress and gets up.
He remembers where the bathroom is from having washed his face one too many times the night
before, so that’s where his feet take him first since his bladder is really just a short second away
from exploding. He urgently needs to pee.
It takes him a while to actually look at the mirror after having washed his hands and when he does,
he gasps. His lips are cracked up from how much he bit down on them to muffle his cries at night
— which was eventually proven useless since Jungkook went to the room anyway.
His eyes are swollen with visible dark circles under them, skin looking so much paler than how it
usually looks; it’s always so tan and shiny, not like this. Never like this. He looks even worse than
he initially expected. He looks as broken as he feels inside.
Taehyung is quick to wash his face anyway, hoping for the cold water to bring some color back to
his cheeks and perhaps, if lucky, hide his dark circles just a little bit. It doesn’t, he quickly realizes.
So he sighs, walking away from the bathroom, lights now turned off.
He smiles when he hears Moon’s paws hitting the floor, the dog walking towards him. “Hey, you
big baby.” he smiles as he pets her head. “Already up?” she sits down on her back paws, lifting the
front to get Taehyung to play with her. His smile falters a little, knowing that he has a schedule to
follow and respect. “I have to make breakfast, maybe we can play later.” he pokes her nose before
walking past her who follows him to the living room anyway.
He stops by the couch where the older man is sleeping, looking rather comfortable with a blanket
that pools at his waist. Taehyung quickly uses it to cover him correctly, foot accidentally kicking
the bottle that he failed to notice on the floor.
His eyes shift from the bottle to the older man and he sighs. One thing is hearing Jungkook telling
him that he only falls asleep with alcohol, another thing is actually seeing that it’s true. He figures
that they can have a small talk about it over breakfast if Jungkook feels like it.
Taehyung gasps softly when he opens the cabinets only to find them, yet again, empty. There’s a
few cups of ramen and a pack of already open chips and he suddenly remembers Jungkook’s
condition. One thing he’s sure of, if he actually moves in, Jungkook will never go to bed hungry
again, not if he can prevent it and he will prevent it.
He will be responsible for the things that he always was at home, it’s his place, after all, but even if
it weren’t, he would still take care of the older man as much as possible. Jungkook will never feel
hunger again as long as they share a roof. Taehyung won’t let it happen.
So he rushes back to the room to get his wallet and put his jeans and shoes on, hesitating as he
stares at his shirt from the night before. There’s a small ice cream stain at the front and he doesn’t
really want to put that on like that.
He gulps. There’s a wardrobe to his right and he knows that he and Jungkook must wear around the
same size. Taehyung is not that much taller, it’s barely noticeable, so even if his shoulders are
broader, Jungkook’s muscles seem to be bigger than his from what he can tell.
But would it be ok for him to just take a shirt?
He’s unsure.
Hyungsik would be extremely mad if he ever tried to put one of his shirts on. Granted, Jungkook is
not Hyungsik, but the chances of Jungkook getting mad are still there. They’re his clothes, it’s not
something that Taehyung should just take without asking for permission.
It’s with an audible gulp that he opens the wardrobe, and he finds exactly what he was expecting to
see, little to no colored items. Something that he’s noticed is how Jungkook rarely uses anything
that isn’t black. On rare occasions, white or grey. Never color.
There’s a lot of hoodies and Taehyung takes one that looks comfy; it has a few details in white on
the back. He puts it on. It is as comfortable as it looks. Smells nice, he notices. He just hopes that
Jungkook won’t mind him wearing his hoodie on a short trip to the convenience store.
│►
Jungkook wakes up with a swift lick to his cheek and he quickly mumbles a train of incoherent
things as he gently pushes Moon away. Though, as soon as he registers the intense smell of food in
the apartment, he holds himself on his forearms, eyes still half-closed. It’s way too early, he can
see that much on the clock hanging on the wall, so why is Taehyung cooking already?
Especially after going to bed after four in the morning. Taehyung didn’t sleep at all. Jungkook
doesn’t like that. He gets on his feet, petting Moon a few times before making his way to the
kitchen, following the smell that he has to admit, is actually extremely pleasant to wake up to.
He pushes his hair to the side, leaning against the doorframe as he sees the blonde man with his
back turned to him. What is he doing up so early? Jungkook has gone to the first session many
times so he knows for a fact that he could sleep for at least another hour and a half.
He recognizes the hoodie that Taehyung is wearing, he knows that it’s his, but he doesn’t say
anything just yet. There are way too many ingredients on the counter so he concludes that
Taehyung woke up even earlier if he had time to go buy groceries, he didn’t have any of that.
His eyes focus again when he hears a startled call of his name, Taehyung standing there with a
hand on his chest. “Good morning.” the younger says as he places the plates on the counter, not
expecting an answer. He never got a ‘good morning’ back. “I was just about to wake you up.”
“Good morning, Tae.” Taehyung’s eyes grow just a little bigger. Oh. “It’s so early, why are we up
already?” he asks, voice turning into a soft whine by the end as he drags his feet to take him close
enough to sit down on the chair across from the other.
“Well— I was going to wake you up because I don’t know at what time your shift starts. I’m
already used to waking up this early to make breakfast… I went and got some groceries, by the
way and I took Moon with me.” Taehyung shrugs.
“I have a day off today.” he sniffs, eyes still a little closed. “Do you always get up early to cook
breakfast? Like… actual cooked food? Not just a coffee and cereal or whatever?” Taehyung nods
as he takes a sip from the orange juice. “Actually?”
“Yeah, why?” he tilts his head.
“Ok, then we have to come to terms about who cooks when.” he says with a small shrug, stirring
the coffee that he can see has sugar on. He makes a mental note to tell Taehyung he hates coffee
with sugar. Some other time, maybe. “I say I pick four days and you take the other three.”
“You’re… going to get up to cook breakfast?” Taehyung asks with a small voice, laced with
confusion. Jungkook takes a piece of pancake to his mouth.
“Hm, first of all, this is fucking great.” he points, a hand in front of his mouth. “And of course, it
wouldn’t be fair for you to be the one waking up early every single day.” Taehyung’s eyes fill up
with even more confusion and Jungkook places it together.
He knows exactly what’s happening.
“You know what.” Jungkook continues as he takes a sip from his coffee. There’s alcohol missing
and the sugar is a terrible addition, but he doesn’t say anything. Taehyung made it for him and he’d
never be that ungrateful. “I actually wanted to start waking up early to avoid being always late for
work so breakfast will be on me every day. I’ll be in charge of that.”
“But—”
“Nope, it’s not open for discussion.” he smiles, taking another bite of his pancakes as he thinks of
something to change the topics to. “I see that you’ve found one of my hoodies.” Taehyung looks
down on himself, frowning a little. He hopes that Jungkook won’t be too angry.
“My shirt has ice cream on it… I thought that maybe there wouldn’t be a problem, I can take it off,
though, I don’t mind wearing my shirt, really, I just— I didn’t know.” he explains, worried.
“No, no, keep it, it’s ok, really.” Jungkook waves a dismissive hand. “It’s a chilly apartment, you
need warm clothes in here, anyway.” he chuckles. “Did you sleep well?”
“Uhm… after I fell asleep, yeah, I was pretty comfortable. But it was tough to fall asleep, even
tougher to get out of bed.” Taehyung smiles, tucking his blonde hair behind his ear. “Thank you
for going to the bedroom last night, I’d probably take even longer to fall asleep if you hadn’t.”
Jungkook props his elbow on the table, resting his chin against his palm. “I’ll be visiting you
before sleep every night, then.” Taehyung giggles at that. “I’m serious—!” he chuckles too.
“Alright, that’d be nice of you, hyung.” Taehyung takes a sip from his coffee, looking at the table
for a few seconds, thinking of how to ask what has been on his mind since he woke up. “Is the
offer to move in with you still up…?”
“Definitely.” Jungkook nods right away. “Why?”
“I just want to make sure that you’re… not regretting the fact that you offered, as I’m leaning
towards that option, I think— I think it’s the best one that I have right now.” he chews on the
inside of his cheek. “You help me a lot, more than you think, and I know that I can just go to you
whenever I need to talk… you’re very understanding.” Jungkook gives him a tight smile. “But the
bills will be under my responsibility.” he adds. “Just give me the landlord information and all of
that—”
“Wait, wait, what? No, don’t even think about it. If we’ll be living together, then the bills will be
shared, I’m not letting you just take all of them.” his eyebrows furrow at the end. “Are you doing
that because I’m broke? I’ll get upset. Really upset.” Taehyung’s eyes widen in alarm.
“No, no, God, no. I told you that I’d treat you the same way, didn’t I?” Jungkook looks down at
his mug. “It’s just that bills were always on me, Hyungsik uh, he left them all for me…”
“He what?” he gapes. “Tae—” Jungkook sighs, running a hand through his hair. “Did he make you
do everything? Always?” he asks with a softer tone of voice, knowing that it’s a sensitive topic that
he must approach lightly and carefully so that it’s not too overwhelming.
“I-Isn’t that normal…? He’s the businessman, I must take care of the house… and the bills were on
me because I make more money than he does.” Jungkook stares at him in silence before letting out
a small scoff, not towards the younger man, but Hyungsik.
“I hate him.” Jungkook mumbles. “I’ll take the rent and the television plus internet pack, you can
take water and electricity if you want, but you also don’t have to.”
“Yes. Yes, of course. I’ll also be responsible for the groceries, but you should handle Moon’s
things because you know more about that than I do.” Jungkook bites the inside of his cheek to keep
a smile away. They can make it work.
“Alright, we’ve got ourselves a deal.” they fix each other with a smile before going back to their
food, Jungkook sneaking a little piece of pancake for his dog, waiting with her head on his thigh.
After some minutes, Taehyung breaks the comfortable silence. “Hyung?” he turns his attention
back to him with a questioning look. “Was he… Was he really just using me?” Jungkook takes a
second. Yes, he wants to say, but the way that Taehyung’s eyes are already filling up with tears
makes his throat close up, it’s hard to speak.
How could he be the one behind Taehyung’s tears? He doesn’t want that. Ever.
“Please, tell me.” Taehyung whispers again.
“I believe so, yes.” he whispers back, heart sinking at the way Taehyung looks at the table as a first
tear rolls down his cheek. “Do you understand now why we all hate him? He wasn’t good for you,
Tae. He wasn’t. I know that it’s hard to see it now, but trust me on this…”
“But I love him.” Jungkook quickly gets up from his chair, kneeling in front of the younger man,
hand resting on his knee while the other travels to his cheek. “I’m sorry, I’m crying again…”
“It’s ok. It’s really ok, cry all you need.” he whispers as softly as possible, thumb caressing
Taehyung’s cheek. “I told you that I’d be here for you and I am, just as much as you’re here for
me. It hurts right now but you’ll be fine, eventually, and I won’t leave your side until then. So cry,
as much as you want and need, you have my shoulder to—”
He stops when Taehyung pushes his chair back to kneel too, throwing his arms around Jungkook’s
shoulders in yet another hug. He’s not very used to them, but Jungkook’s arms are so relaxing and
calming, and Jungkook never complains at all, on top of that. It’s weird. Hyungsik hated it when
Taehyung tried to hug him and Jungkook just welcomes him with open arms.
“Call in sick.” Jungkook tells him as they rest their chins on each other’s shoulders. “Stay back
home today, you’re in no condition to take other people’s shit right now. Stay here.”
“I-I can’t just— They’re my patients…” he shakes his head.
“Yes, you can ‘just’. You have to think of yourself for once. How will you sit there and listen to
them? What if you break down again and you’re by yourself or worse, with a patient? I have the
day off, I can keep you company, I’ll keep an eye on you.” Jungkook whispers, his hand going up
and down Taehyung’s back. “Please stay, it’s not good for you to deal with them right now.”
“But I’ll feel bad, they’re my patients.” Taehyung repeats, pulling away, tears still streaming down
his cheeks. Jungkook wipes them with gentle thumbs and an even gentler smile. He’s always so
gentle and careful, lest Taehyung breaks if he’s any rougher.
“I’m your patient too and I can assure you that I’d hate it if you went to work like this. They’ll
understand. Please, call in sick and let’s just get you to bed. I’ll stay home with you the whole day,
I promise that I won’t leave you alone and that you’ll feel way better if you stay.”
Taehyung sighs. “Okay, hyung…” he nods. He knows that Jungkook would never do or say
anything to jeopardize him in any way, so he takes his advice without thinking too much of it.
“Good.” Jungkook smiles. “This relaxes me immensely, I can’t even think of you going to work.”
Taehyung gives him a little smile. “I’ll stay here with you.”
│►
Jungkook hums a song to himself as he gets the clothes from the washing machine, something that
he has always enjoyed doing ever since he was a kid, grown used to help his mother fold and hang
the clothes outside to dry.
It makes him feel somewhat close to her every time that he gets the laundry done.
He stops when he hears the doorbell and he already knows that it’s Jimin as he called earlier to ask
them to come over, so he leaves the shirt that he’s currently holding in order to rush to the door,
Moon barking given she’s able to sniff the new-comers.
He quickly swings the door open, holding Moon back by her collar as an enamored Jimin stands on
the other side. “You have a puppy!” he squeals, already reaching for her.
“Babe, you can’t call that a puppy, that’s an overgrown dog.” Hoseok corrects him with a chuckle.
“She’s so pretty, though. Does she bite?”
“Not at all, just let her sniff you two so that she knows that you two mean no harm. She’s very
protective.” they both offer their hands for her to sniff them before showering her with pets and
caresses when she finally relaxes.
“Can we come in?” Jimin asks.
“Of course.” Jungkook gestures, stepping aside as he lets Moon go, the animal happily following
them. “Thank you for coming even though you don’t even know why I called you.” he speaks as
low as he possibly can, not wanting to disturb Taehyung’s sleep while he leads them to the couch to
take a seat.
“Yeah, about that, you said it was urgent— and why are we whispering?” Hoseok asks as he
replies in the same tone. “Are you alright? Do you need help with something…?”
“Oh, yes, I’m alright… but Taehyung isn’t.” they both stiffen immediately. Jimin loses the smile
he was throwing at Moon while making faces. “They broke up last night, we’re whispering
because he’s sleeping in my bedroom right now.”
“Am I supposed to feel sad?” Hoseok scoffs. “This is the best news that you could’ve given us.”
“Taehyung’s beyond heartbroken. He’s broken down about three times already, not counting how
he cries every so often. He looked so broken when he showed up last night, I had to hide the fact
that I wanted them to break up for the sake of consoling him… I’ve been trying my best but it’s
tough not to just grab him by the shoulders and tell him how fucking horrible Hyungsik is, I have to
be really careful with the topic, he’s… it’s complicated.”
“Oh no… is it that bad…?” Jungkook nods with a sigh. “Shit, you could’ve called sooner, we’d
help you with it, we’d take care of him.”
“That’s the thing, he didn’t want me to call you and that’s why I’m not even telling you the reason
why they broke up, he’ll tell you when he’s ready to see you. I think that he’s somewhat afraid of
you two saying something that will overstep his boundaries without even noticing, and I get it, but
I thought that you two should know that you may not hear a lot from him in the next few days…”
Jungkook explains, scratching the back of his neck.
“So he can talk to you but he can’t talk to us?” Hoseok asks with a light scoff. “That’s kind of
insulting, we’d be there for him a hundred percent.”
“You thinking this way is probably the reason why he’s so scared. You don’t quite get how hard it
is to talk about some topics. I’ve told Taehyung a little about my life and my best friends don’t
know jack shit about me, which doesn’t mean that I don’t love them or that I don’t trust them.”
Jungkook tries to explain, knowing that it’s still hard to understand.
“We’re glad that he has you, then. We’re glad that he can talk to you, but please keep us updated,
even though we want Hyungsik dead and seven feet under, we know how much Tae loves him and
is probably suffering a lot with the separation. You have Hoseok’s number, keep us updated,
please.” Jimin begs.
“I will, for sure. Just don’t worry too much, I’ll make sure that he’s ok, you can come over
tomorrow or something… he’s actually staying with me. He said that he doesn’t want to disturb
you two.” Jungkook gulps, hoping that they’ll take it lightly.
“Oh.” the two men share a knowing look that he doesn’t really understand. “If he chose to stay
with you then it’s probably what’s best for him, but please tell him that if, for some reason, he
needs another place, our door is always open for him.”
“I will. Thank you for understanding.”
“No, thank you for doing this, Tae means a lot to us so we’re really glad that he has someone who
he can rely on right now, even if it’s not us.” Hoseok smiles.
“Just make sure that Tae’s ok.” Jimin adds.
“Always.” Jungkook gives them a tight smile. “Thanks for coming, though, you didn’t even know
it was related to Tae and you just… showed up in ten minutes.” he says, a little sheepish.
“Well… you’re Tae’s friend and we think that we can consider you our friend too, we thought that
you may have been in trouble or something, so we rushed here. You made it sound like it was very
serious. And it was.” Jimin shrugs. “Babe, I think that we should leave now, right? Tae’s resting
and he may call you or something…”
“Oh, yeah.” Hoseok nods. “Keep us updated.”
“Of course, don’t worry.” Jungkook walks them to the door, bowing for the both of them and they
wave at Moon before leaving, bowing at Jungkook once again. “Drive safely.” he tells them as he
closes the door, sighing. That went well. Even better than expected.
He makes his way back to the bedroom, knocking twice before he pushes the door open, seeing the
lump in the middle of the bed, engulfed by all the sheets. “Can I come in?” he only does so when
he hears a faint sound of approval. “Do you need something? Are you feeling better?”
Moon follows as he steps closer to the bed, being a little bolder since she just jumps on it to lay by
Taehyung’s feet. “I’m feeling somewhat less sad. I’ve managed to stop crying so that’s a good
thing…” Taehyung replies with a groggy voice. “Uh, hyung? This may be really weird but— can
you lay here for just a bit? I feel really lonely… Only if you don’t mind.”
“Yeah, of course.” Jungkook quickly kicks his slippers off, lifting the covers just enough to slip
inside, the mattress dampening as he does so. “It’s not weird, by the way. Cuddles are a great way
to fight sadness and I’ve been told that I’m a great cuddler.” he smiles.
Taehyung stills at that. “Will you… cuddle me?” he thought that Jungkook would just lay there
next to him, not actually cuddle, especially since he didn’t even mention cuddling.
“If you’re comfortable with it, yes. Cuddles always help.” the younger stares at him in complete
silence, trying to process that Jungkook — a friend — is willing to cuddle him just because he’s
sad, but his own fiancé never allowed him to.
“Oh, okay.” he whispers at last, hesitating for a sort second before he scoots closer, head resting on
Jungkook’s chest. It feels warm as Jungkook’s arm goes around him, especially when he bends it to
play with Taehyung’s hair. “Was that Jimin and Hobi talking?” Jungkook’s hand stills for a short
second but he resumes the movement soon after.
“Yeah.” Taehyung nods. “I just thought that it would be nice to let them know what happened, but
I didn’t go into details. That’s something that only you have the right to do.” he explains.
“It’s ok, I know that you’d never do anything or say something too invasive. I trust you and your
judgment.” Jungkook can physically feel his chest swell with pride. Knowing that he can provide
such comfort makes him feel way better about himself.
“I’m glad that you do. I’m glad that you trust me just like I trust you.” he whispers, unwilling to
completely break the comfortable silence. Taehyung sniffs, tentatively raising one of his hands to
rest it over Jungkook’s strong chest, relaxing when the older man doesn’t say anything.
Not a single complaint.
It makes his mind go back to his fiancé. How did he not notice such small things? Why did
Hyungsik get so angry with such little things and a friend, Jungkook, doesn’t even react to them?
Is Jungkook completely heartless and has no emotions when it comes to anything or is Hyungsik
truly not a good man? The way the hand moves on his hair makes him strongly believe that the
latter is true, and the thought makes him turn around, back towards Jungkook as tears come back to
his eyes. He doesn’t want to bother Jungkook with his cries again.
“Are you ok?” the other immediately asks. Taehyung just lets out a small cry. “You can talk to me,
what’s wrong?” it’s asked so gently that Taehyung almost misses it. Hadn’t the room been so
silent, the words would go unheard.
“I miss him.” Taehyung whispers and Jungkook has to stop himself from sighing. He has to
understand, even if for him it’s so clear that Hyungsik is beyond terrible. “I-I miss him already.”
“I know.” Jungkook drags himself a little closer to cuddle the younger again, his hand just barely
resting against Taehyung’s stomach. “You won’t forget him from one moment to the other, but it
will start hurting less. I promise you, Tae.”
He’s a little startled as Taehyung sobs and so he tries to take his arm away, thinking that he may be
overstepping, but the younger grabs his wrist to keep it in place, snuggling more against him and
his embrace, Jungkook’s chest now pressed against his back.
“I’m so scared.” Taehyung whispers.
“It’s ok. You’re going to be ok.” he whispers back right by his ear, softly, before leaving the most
innocent kiss to it, resting his cheek on top of Taehyung’s head. He has to tightly shut his eyes
when he feels Taehyung’s body shaking against his, not strong enough to be able to stop himself
from tearing up just from hearing the younger cry so helplessly.
It hurts quite a lot to hear him like this.
“It’s ok, let it all out, angel, it’s ok.” the pet name flies out without even being thought out but, due
to lack of a complaint, he doesn’t see the need to take it back. “Hyung’s here, it’s ok.”
“I’m sorry for crying again.”
“Don’t apologize.” Jungkook shakes his head. “It’s good to cry, it clears the soul.” Taehyung
giggles at that, sniffing. “I’m serious.” he smiles too. “That’s what my mom used to tell me when
— when I told her not to cry. So unless you’re trying to tell me that my mom was lying to my
younger self, crying does clear your soul.” Jungkook jokes, hand finding a position to play with
Taehyung’s hair again, the other arm still loosely around his middle.
“If your mom said that then we must believe it.” Jungkook smiles even more at that. “My soul will
be really clean after this...”
“Mine too.” Taehyung turns his neck to look back, seeing Jungkook’s glassy eyes. “I need it,
anyway.” he carefully pushes Taehyung’s head back down on the pillow. “Don’t worry.”
“I’m sorry.” the younger whispers.
Jungkook kisses the back of his head. “Let’s just take a nap, hm? No apologies.”
Taehyung nods. “A nap sounds nice…”
│►
Jungkook hisses as he hears the doorbell, looking at Moon right away to shut her by pressing his
finger over his lips. She has seen that enough times, so she just whines, getting up without barking.
Taehyung’s fast asleep and Jungkook wants to keep it that way.
He’s careful when taking the arm away from his body, movements slow as he gets up from the
bed, more than ready to curse at whoever is bothering them not even ten minutes after Taehyung
was able to finally fall asleep.
Once by the door, he just lets out a huff when he sees his best friends. “Hey, what’s up?” he asks,
standing by the door. They furrow their eyebrows, wondering why he isn’t already letting them in
as per usual.
“We came to pick you up for dinner.” Jungkook gives them a half-smile. Seokjin’s eyes catch a
jacket hanging that he doesn’t recognize. “Do you have someone over?” he wiggles his eyebrows
suggestively. Jungkook rolls his eyes with little to no real annoyance.
“It’s Tae, he’s sleeping right now so keep it down.” he pouts at how loud his best friend always
sounds. Usually it wouldn’t be a problem. “He’s moving in with me.”
“Wasn’t he engaged?” Yoongi is quick to ask.
“It’s complicated.” he sighs. “Can you come back some other day? I don’t want him alone right
now, I need to go back there.” the two of them nod, confused.
“Yeah, we’ll call you tomorrow.” they say, a little overwhelmed by the sudden information. It
doesn’t take long until the door is closed again. “Wow.” Yoongi says.
“I know. Taehyung moving in? He only has one bed, are they sleeping together? Oh my— what
about the fiancé?” Seokjin squeals at the end. “Are they…?”
“What the fuck— they’re definitely not cheating on Taehyung’s fiancé if that’s what you’re
thinking. Literally stop talking, stop thinking.” he swats his arm. “Don’t make assumptions.”
“It’s just unexpected... but it may be good for him, he certainly won’t struggle so much with
money.” Seokjin points. “So that’s something positive, especially if they get along so well.”
“He’ll be able to talk every time he feels down, too, we can’t forget that Taehyung’s still his
therapist.” Yoongi sighs. “I just hope that this doesn’t go terribly wrong, Kooks would be
devastated losing someone who’s not only his friend, but also his therapist and confident.”
“Yeah, he cares a lot about Taehyung.” they both share a quick hug as they reach the parking lot.
“They’re probably cuddling as we speak so let’s not think about this going badly, we have hope for
the best, Kooks deserves something good for once.” Yoongi snorts.
“You assumed that they were cheating on Taehyung’s fiancé like, twenty seconds ago.” Seokjin
waves a hand, walking to his car with a smile. “Yeah, thought so too. We’ll talk later.” he chuckles.
“Sure, Yoongs.”
│►
Chapter End Notes

Let's discuss...
◄│ 21 │►
Chapter Notes
“…there you go, have a nice day.” Jungkook smiles as he hands the customer’s credit card back,
bowing politely. His smile is gone not even a second after the older man turns around to leave.
“You still haven’t replied to my question.” Yugyeom reminds immediately. Jungkook sighs. His
coworker may be fun during days of boredom, but he definitely speaks way too much. Always asks
way too many questions, way more than Jungkook is willing to answer, that’s for sure.
“I don’t know what to tell you.” he says then, voice painfully honest. “I have no answer.”
“I just asked why do you look so terrible. I don’t think that it’s that deep or that hard of a question,
dude.” Yugyeom mumbles as he rests his hips against the counter. “Talk to me, we’re the best of
buddies, aren’t we?” he smiles, tentative.
“We’re most definitely not best buddies.” Jungkook holds a finger up. “We’re acquaintances, if
anything.” he doesn’t miss the over-exaggerated surprise in the other’s expression.
“You’re so mean.” Jungkook chuckles. “Just tell me..!” Yugyeom whines, wanting to have
something to talk about and also to know more about the other. “I just want to know if something
happened. Did you not get a good night of sleep or…?”
“You’re so annoying.” Jungkook grumbles.
“It’s my biggest charm.” he sends him a small kiss to which Jungkook is quick to scoff.
A charm. “No wonder that you’re still single then, if that’s your charm.” he teases and Yugyeom
slaps his arm, hand a little too mean. “It’s just been a rough past three days, alright, I’ve been
feeling even worse than I already did before.” he explains with a tired sigh.
“Oh.” Yugyeom says, unsure of how to reply to that. And this is exactly the biggest reason why
Jungkook didn’t want to say anything to begin with. Yugyeom asks out of boredom and curiosity
but is never ready for the problematic life that Jungkook has. He hates the surprise that washes
over his coworker’s face every time he says something a little more personal.
“I’ll be taking my break now.” he informs, pushing away from the counter to head towards the
break room, already walking to his locker. Jungkook rests his forehead against the cold metal of
the door, bottle secure in his hold and ready to be emptied at least halfway.
His chest weighs with too many emotions filling him up at the same time. It’s tough. Having to
keep himself together all the time is tough. It has been even worse since Taehyung moved in just
three days ago. His apartment used to be his safe place, where he could cry, drink, and let his pent-
up frustration out. Now it’s where he has to be the most contained. How can he help stabilize
someone if he himself isn’t?
He doesn’t want to fail Taehyung but it’s hard. He closes his eyes as he takes a sip from the warm
whiskey. It’s complicated, having Taehyung there, consoling Taehyung when he breaks down
crying, keeping himself together when all that he wants to do is cry with the younger man.
Still, despite it all, he wouldn’t change it, he wouldn’t have it any other way. The feeling of helping
someone who helps him so much makes it all worth it in the end. When he drinks himself to sleep,
he never does it with bitter thoughts in the back of his mind, he doesn’t even think that he’d ever be
able to nurture such feelings towards Taehyung. Bitterness. Doesn’t sound possible.
He feels proud of himself when he’s able to make Taehyung laugh or just open a smile that is
genuine; when he’s able to ease it for the younger man even if just a little bit, when he’s able to
hold him close when Taehyung feels lonely and is able to take his mind off of it for a while.
But still, is tough. Understandably so.
Jungkook tilts his head back as he places the bottle between his lips, taking as many sips as his
breathing allows him to, choking when he hears his coworker speak behind him. “Nice break that
you’re taking.” Yugyeom says, crossing his arms. Jungkook quickly puts the bottle inside the
locker, slamming the door closed. “There’s no need to hide it, I already saw you downing fucking
whiskey like it’s just a bottle of water.”
“Do you need something?” Jungkook asks, covering his mouth with his hand to burp at the back of
his throat, words a little muffled. “If not, please leave me alone.” he adds.
Yugyeom seems to have other intentions. “How are you so used to whiskey? That shit burns so
fucking bad, especially if warm… that’s pretty fucked up.” he comments, unaware of how deeply
embarrassed Jungkook feels for being caught drinking on the job. Red handed.
“Well, shocker news, life is fucked up for some people.” Jungkook says with a clipped tone, voice
slightly louder than usual as he walks away. Yugyeom follows right after him.
“Woah, you’ve never raised your voice at me, not even when I annoy you for hours and hours with
no end, are you ok? I’m actually really concerned now.” Jungkook rubs his eyes, doing his best to
keep the tears away. He wants to cry, it would make him feel somehow better and he hasn’t cried in
three days. He never that thought he’d ever miss something as pathetic as crying.
“Yeah, shit, sorry.” he sighs. “I’m just stressed, I had no right to raise my voice at you, I’m sorry.”
“It’s ok… just tell me if there’s something wrong…” Yugyeom encourages. “I want to help.”
“There’s nothing wrong.” he lies. Not entirely. “I’m just stressed. Please don’t mention.”
“Okay…” Yugyeom sighs. He’s never met anyone as closed off as his coworker.
│►
If Jungkook had any bad thoughts about accepting Taehyung in his home, they surely go away as
soon as he opens the front door to find the younger man on his knees, rubbing Moon’s belly as she
rolls on her back, contently accepting all the caresses.
There’s a welcoming aroma in the apartment and Jungkook guesses that Taehyung has cooked
lunch for them to enjoy together once he got home.
Taehyung looks up with a smile as Moon rushes to her owner. “Hey, baby.” Jungkook greets her
with some pats to the head. “Hey Tae.” he takes a few steps closer before pressing a kiss to the
blonde’s forehead. “Did you see the note that I left you in the morning?”
“You glued it to my forehead, hyung, of course I did.” Taehyung giggles. “I honestly laughed so
much, loud enough to wake Moon up.” he points at the dog. “You’re something else.”
“I had to pick a place where you wouldn’t miss it so that you knew that I was at work.” Taehyung
laughs again, remembering how confused he was as he felt something glued to his skin. “I’m glad
that I made your day start with a laugh, then.”
“You really did, Koo.” Taehyung gapes. “Hyung. Sorry. Hyung.” he immediately corrects himself.
“You don’t have to call me hyung, it’s alright either way, just call me whatever you want to call
me at the moment, I’m not picky.” Jungkook smiles as he offers a hand that Taehyung accepts in
order to be lifted up from the floor.
“You’re older, though, won’t you find it… disrespectful?” Taehyung asks with his eyebrows
furrowed. He always uses polite and proper words towards his elders, that’s how his parents raised
him to be and it’s a habit that he’ll never lose.
“I don’t care, to be honest. You can call me whatever.” his hand finds its place on the younger’s
lower back for just a short moment as he leads him to the kitchen seeing that, just as he assumed,
lunch is already done and waiting for them on the table.
“Okay, then, I will.” he agrees with a smile. “How was work?” Jungkook’s mind is quick to travel
to his almost crying session, almost little breakdown while drinking, and he gulps. Taehyung has
enough on his plate, with the break-up and everything.
He doesn’t want to worry and weigh him down even more, so he forces a smile that doesn’t come
out as genuine as he’d like it to. “It was… alright, boring as always, but alright.” Taehyung stares
at him for a short second and Jungkook can feel his palms sweating. He can’t forget the fact that
the younger man can read people very easily and always seems to pick up on his emotions.
Besides, Jungkook’s a terrible liar as it is.
“You’re lying.” there it is. Jungkook can almost feel a drop of sweat going down his back but it
may also just be his mind playing tricks. “What happened at work?”
“Just… annoying customers. Don’t worry about it, really, nothing bad happened.” Taehyung
doesn’t look that convinced. “How was breakfast?” Jungkook asks to change the topic of the
conversation, swallowing down a giggle as he remembers his weirdly shaped pancakes.
“In terms of flavor, it was really good, but I had some laughs trying to understand if it just went
wrong or if you were trying to shape them in a certain way.” Jungkook chokes on his water, a laugh
spilling from his lips. Taehyung giggles.
“It’s safe to say that it just went wrong.” he explains. “I’m glad that you liked them, though, I’m
not the best cook. I had to Google how to even get that done.”
“They were really good nonetheless.” Taehyung reassures with a large, honest smile. “Are you
doing something this afternoon? Or are you staying here?” he asks.
“Uhm… Jimin and Hoseok will be here in an hour so that we can go to your old apartment to get
your stuff.” Jungkook places his chopsticks down, looking at the blonde with a careful expression.
“We figured that you should… stay back here.”
“I forgot that you were going today…” he gulps, looking down at his food. “I want— I want to go
too, to help and uhm, to identify my stuff.” Jungkook can see the hidden glint behind his eyes,
trying to mask the bigger reason that he looks ashamed of.
He wants to see Hyungsik, Jungkook knows.

“Tae.” he whispers. “I don’t think that that’s a good idea.” Taehyung looks up at him with his lips
curved down, a visible wetness to his eyes. Jungkook doesn’t want him to cry. Taehyung should
never cry, especially not for someone who doesn’t deserve a single tear of his.
“I just want to see him…” the blonde whispers back.
“I know.” Jungkook nods, grabbing the other’s hand over the table before giving it a firm and
reassuring squeeze. “I won’t force you to stay here if you really want to go, but they know your
stuff, they know what belongs to you and the three of us can get everything quickly… I don’t think
that it’s a good idea for you to see him again this soon.” he explains, thumb caressing the back of
Taehyung’s hand. “You should stay here, Tae, we’ll handle it.”
“I miss him, though. I love him.” Taehyung observes the crease between Jungkook’s eyebrows
deepen, the man visibly concerned, and he doesn’t want that. He has to fight his hands not to let
them travel to the spot between his brows to ease it away. “Do you— Do you really think that it’s a
bad idea that I go with you guys?” he asks with a hesitant gulp.
“Yeah. I really do think so.” Jungkook whispers, tone gentle. “I genuinely only want the best for
you, Tae, and right now… I think that what’s best is that you don’t see him. It’s way too soon and
you could have a weak moment or something. Not to mention how it’ll break you to be in the
presence of someone that you love when you’re… in this situation. Please trust me on this one.”
“Okay.” Taehyung nods. “I trust you and I know that you’re wiser than me. If you don’t think that
I should go, then I won’t.” Jungkook gapes. He feels proud of himself. It makes him smile.
Again, knowing that he can help someone like this, he wouldn’t have it any other way.
│►
Hyungsik continues typing away on his keyboard, legs lazily thrown over the couch. His eyes
leave the screen when he hears some rustling outside and he’s on his feet in a second. “What the
fuck…” he closes his laptop before rushing out of his office, seeing the three other men walking in.
He recognizes Jimin and Hoseok but frowns at the third, having no idea who that is and why does
he think that he has the right to enter his apartment.
“What the fuck?” Hyungsik asks. “How did you get in? And what in the world are you doing here
to begin with?!” Hoseok scoffs at that.
“We’re here to grab Tae’s stuff. If I were you I’d stay out of the fucking way, now there’s
absolutely nothing stopping me from dragging your face on the floor by your hair.” he threatens
through gritted teeth. “Tae’s not with you anymore, I have no reason to hold back.”
“What a joke.” Hyungsik chokes. “And who in the world are you?” he points towards the older
man in the room, those three pairs of eyes moving to him.
“I’m Jungkook, I’m sure that you’ve heard of me before.” he says with a little mocking smile and
they can see the sheer anger flashing behind Hyungsik’s eyes.
“I see.” he laughs. “That slut surely moves on really fast.” Jungkook’s eyes go wide as Jimin
screams, Hyungsik unceremoniously falling to the floor with the impact of a strong fist to the chin.
“Are you crazy, you fucking animal?!”
“Hoseok, stop!” Jimin screams, trying to pull his boyfriend away as Hoseok throws another, and
another, and another punch. “Jungkook— do something! Please!” Jungkook closes his mouth
again, snapping himself out of the shock, quickly stepping closer to pull the younger man away.
Hoseok tries to get out of his hold but Jungkook is stronger, so he’s able to keep him away. “You
know that I can get you three sued for this fucking bullshit!” Hyungsik yells as he sits up, blood
already running down his nose and onto his lips; bright red staining his shirt.
“You two, go ahead to the bedroom, start getting his things in the bags.” Jungkook says and
Hoseok fixes him with a questioning look. “Go.” he says, lower, not quite asking.
“Ok. Just don’t like… kill him.” Jimin says while walking away with the folded boxes, dragging
his boyfriend as well. Jungkook only turns to Hyungsik when the two disappear on the long hall.
“What the fuck do you want? Will you hit me too? You’ll just dig your own fucking grave, I’ll
have you sued—” Jungkook grabs him by the collar of his shirt, grip hard enough to have him
standing back up, and pushes him against the closest wall. Hyungsik hisses.
“You’ll never, and I can’t stress this shit enough, ever get close to Taehyung again. Do you
understand?” Hyungsik raises an eyebrow, challenging. “I’d never hit someone but you can be
fucking sure that I will break that nose of yours again if I even do as much as dream that you
followed, talked, texted or even fucking thought about Taehyung. I’m not joking, I’m really not.”
“And why would I be scared of someone like you?” Jungkook chuckles.
“I have nothing to lose.” he shrugs. “Now go back to whatever the fuck you were doing, or maybe
go to the hospital to fix that shit. If I were you, I’d take my words seriously.” Jungkook pats his
shoulders twice before turning his back to him.
“You’ll regret this, you will.”
“Keep crying, I don’t care.” he can hear Hyungsik groaning in pain as he disappears through the
long hall, eyes observing a little in awe at how big and spacious the whole apartment is and he
hasn’t even seen half of it. Jungkook just follows the voices to be able to find the couple and his
surprise grows even more. Not only the room is huge, there’s also a big closet where the other two
pace from one side to the other to put everything in boxes.
“This apartment is huge.” he decides to comment, frowning a little.
“Tae paid for this.” Jimin sighs. “And yet, he’s the one that has to move out, I don’t get it.”
“This is his?!” Jungkook’s eyes grow bigger. “Why would he let that piece of shit keep it?!”
“It’s in Hyungsik’s name, he paid for it but… that man is disgusting, hyung, he got Tae to let him
put his name there instead.” he shakes his head with a sigh. “You got blood all over yourself…”
“That walking asshole really ruined my shirt, I’m even angrier now.” he looks down at himself, his
white tee shirt stained with blood. Not too much, but it’s definitely there. He cringes at it.
“Throw that whole shirt away, it probably has bad luck now.” Hoseok mumbles and Jungkook
chuckles as Jimin giggles. “Let’s get everything quickly so that we can leave, even the air in this
place feels fucking disgusting, it’s like I can’t breathe right.”
Jungkook quickly walks towards the clothes, helping the younger two to fold everything and place
it inside the boxes and bags, silence settling. He had never even seen Hyungsik before, he didn’t
look like what Jungkook had imagined in his head.
He pictured someone with a mean-looking face, ugly like his personality, but the man didn’t quite
look like that. Still, knowing his character, his looks couldn’t save absolutely anything, even if he
isn’t as repulsive as Jungkook imagined him to be.
“Hyung? Are you there?” he turns back to face them, a confused look on his face. “I asked if you
think that he will actually sue us… he sounded kind of serious about it.”
“My best friend is a lawyer and he’s kind of a bitch when it comes to his job so he’s really good at
what he does. If Hyungsik goes that low, it won’t be a problem. Don’t worry about it.” he dismisses
then, grabbing another shirt. “He’ll just get himself arrested for what he’s done.”
“Did Tae accept not coming? Did he fight about it?” Hoseok asks. “I miss talking to him, I know
that he’s safe with you but I miss him.” Jimin sighs in a silent agreement, both staring at Jungkook
expectantly. He scratches the back of his neck.
“He... debated a little, but he asked for my opinion and I told him that he should stay back... so he
did. And I’ll suggest for him to call you two for lunch soon, it will do him good to see you guys
again, he’s been away from his phone and from everyone. He’s been in his own bubble…”
“Oh. Okay. Thank you.” Jimin smiles.
Jungkook mirrors it. “It’s nothing, let’s just hurry to get out of here.”
│►
“Thanks, guys. Tae and I will store everything now.” he smiles with a short wave, watching as they
pant from carrying the boxes through the flight of stairs so many times, given that there’s no
elevator in the building.
“You’re welcome, hyung.” Hoseok waves back. “Oh, and talk to Tae, alright? Tell him that we’d
be really happy if we could maybe come here or go out for lunch... whatever he prefers.” he
reminds. Jungkook nods.
“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry, I’ll tell him.” the two younger men give him a tight smile before leaving
and Jungkook stares down at the boxes and bags. He’s not so sure of how they’re going to fit all of
those clothes in Jungkook’s small wardrobe, but they’ll find a way.
Almost as if on cue, the door to the bedroom opens, revealing a Taehyung wearing his borrowed
sweatpants and shirt, paired with a pair of fuzzy socks that Jungkook had in his drawers. “You’re
back.” the blonde smiles but stops in his tracks, eyes falling on Jungkook’s chest. “Oh— Are you
hurt? What happened?” Jungkook looks down at himself, remembering the dried blood on his shirt.
Great day to use white, he thinks.
“No, no, I’m fine, it’s... not my blood.” he cringes, aware of how compromising that sounds. “I can
explain—” Taehyung holds a hand in the air, quieting him. He closes his mouth.
“Did you hurt him?” Taehyung whispers. “D-Did you hurt my fiancé?” Jungkook’s mouth falls
open in silent shock. What?
“No, I didn’t.” he says. “Do you really think that I’d ever—” Jungkook stops when Taehyung steps
closer and grabs a handful of his shirt, examining the blood with big, attentive eyes.
“You have blood and you’re not hurt... You wouldn’t do anything to Jimin or Hobi so is that— is
that his?” Taehyung whispers as he lets go of the fabric, eyes shining with tears. Jungkook gulps.
“It is his blood but—” Taehyung gasps.

“What did you do to him?” he demands but it sounds more like a cry. Jungkook’s shoulders sag.
“Do you not trust me? My word? I’ve told you that I didn’t do anything. I’ve been around violence
for far too long, what makes you think that I’d ever make someone bleed now?” Taehyung sobs
quietly, guilt filling him whole. He’s an idiot, of course Jungkook wouldn’t do anything.
“I’m sorry.” he frowns. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I know that you wouldn’t, my mind just— I’m so
sorry.” Taehyung takes a step closer, being the one to carefully place a hand on Jungkook’s cheek.
“I’m sorry, hyung, please don’t be mad at me.”
“I didn’t do anything.” he says again, making sure that Taehyung listens well this time. “He
probably does have a broken nose but it wasn’t me, I’d never do that to someone, violence isn’t the
solution. As much as I wanted to kill him, I wouldn’t even touch him. I promise.”
“I-I just don’t want him hurt...”
“He’ll be fine. Surely will heal fast like the spawn of Satan that he is.” as he shrugs, he doesn’t see
the weak slap to his arm coming, paired with a low giggle. “I didn’t lie.” Jungkook smiles.
“But that’s so mean...! He has a broken nose and you’re calling him a spawn of Satan.” Taehyung
pouts. “Does it hurt? Breaking your nose, I mean, I’ve never broken anything...”
“Hurts a lot for a while, then it kind of hurts so bad that you just go numb to the pain.” the younger
blinks. “I’ve had my nose broken three times before.”
“I’m sorry.” Taehyung raises his hand without even thinking, ever so carefully touching the tip of
Jungkook’s nose, as if it would still hurt if he weren’t gentle enough. “Do you think that he’s ok?”
Jungkook has to stop himself from sighing.
“I believe so, he wasn’t there when we left so he probably went to the hospital.” the younger nods,
looking down. Jungkook steps closer to cup his chin, tilting his head up so that they can meet eyes.
“I hate this and I hate what Hoseok did but Hyungsik is just paying for all the shit that he did to
you, Taehyung. A broken nose is nothing close to what you went through with him.”
“I still hope that he’s ok...” Jungkook closes his eyes for a second to calm himself down and not
just show his frustration. He can’t even begin trying to understand what it feels like to lose a
fiancé, especially one as manipulative as Hyungsik. He doesn’t know what Taehyung’s going
through, he has to remain patient and supportive.
“We got everything that they identified as yours, do you want help storing it?” he changes the
topic, aware that talking about Hyungsik does no good to either of them. Besides, he hates it when
Taehyung looks sad.
“I have some things that I want to give away for charity and stuff, I don’t wear them often or only
did because— because he wanted me to look a certain way.” Taehyung explains. “I’ll first go
through the boxes to see what I want to keep... is that ok?”
“Of course. I’ll help you take them to the bedroom, you can call me when it’s time to put
everything in place, then, and I’ll help you with it.” Jungkook suggests, leaving a sweet kiss on top
of the blonde, sleep-messy hair.
Taehyung giggles. “Okay, thank you, hyungie.”
│►
Jungkook shivers as he opens the door to his bedroom, wanting nothing but to grab a cozy hoodie
to try to warm himself up. His feet stop working when he sees Taehyung kneeling on the floor with
a shirt in hands, looking down at it with an empty expression. Jungkook chuckles.
“Is it that hard to decide if you want them or not?” he jokes, heading to his wardrobe to get the first
hoodie he sees. Taehyung looks up at him, snapping out of it.
“No, no, it’s just... this is Sik’s shirt.” Jungkook eyes the fabric as he puts on the hoodie, walking
closer before kneeling down as well. The material looks expensive but so do all of Taehyung’s
clothes, Jungkook can’t really see the difference himself, which is why the shirt is there to begin
with; it looked as though it could be Taehyung’s.
He holds a hand out, silent, smiling without showing his teeth as Taehyung places the shirt on his
palm without even asking. “Would you like me to throw this out?” Taehyung nods his head ever so
slowly, hesitating but Jungkook’s warm eyes do help relax the turmoil in him.
Jungkook goes to stand up but something catches his eye, making him stay in the same kneeling
position. He simply reaches forward to grasp Taehyung’s hand between his own. “Do you want me
to trash this too?” he asks, cautious. It’s a bigger step that he’s asking for now.
Taehyung’s eyes follow his, gulping when he understands that the older man is talking about his
engagement ring. The diamond proudly standing in the middle of a silvery gold band. “I-I’m not
ready to do that...” he whispers, closing his fist so that Jungkook can’t slide the ring out.
“Okay.” Jungkook nods, finally standing up, his knees cracking just a little. He blames it on the
age. “I’ll go back, but call me when—”
“Am I the biggest loser for not getting rid of the ring?” Taehyung asks, holding Jungkook’s hand
so that he stays behind for a little longer. The older man kneels back down, taking his hand once
again to slide the ring out. Taehyung lets him, watching as he analyzes it for a short second.
“No.” Jungkook says at last. “This means a lot to you, represents something very strong that you’re
not ready to give up on just yet... and that’s ok, really. Whenever you’re ready, whenever you think
that the time is right, we’ll take care of it.” we. We will. “Whether is trashing it or selling it, we’ll
do that when you’re ready for that step.”
“You’re the most kind-hearted and understanding person that I have ever met.” Taehyung says as
Jungkook hands him the ring back. “Thank you, it means a lot to me, I can’t let go of it this fast but
I promise that I’m working on it.”
“I know that, and you’ll get there. You’re stronger than you think.” Jungkook smiles before leaning
closer to press a kiss to Taehyung’s forehead as he gets up from the floor. “I’ll throw the shirt away
and I’ll come back to you.”
“Ok, thank you...”
│►
Taehyung sighs to himself as he pushes away from the bed, eyes barely open but throat achingly
dry, asking for something to smooth it out.
As he half drags himself through the short hall, his eyes slowly adapt to the faint light coming from
the living room and his demeanor changes when he gets there, only to see Jungkook sitting down
with a bottle of whiskey in hand and Moon sleeping next to him with her head on his lap.
Taehyung gulps. “Can’t you really fall asleep without alcohol?” he asks, quietly.
Jungkook’s head whips to the side, facing him. “What are you doing up? Are you having trouble
falling asleep tonight?” he replies without acknowledging the question, hiding his bottle a little
from Taehyung’s sight. It pains him to see someone so smart and kind… like this.
“My throat is dry, I’m just grabbing some water.” he gestures towards the kitchen. “When you told
me that you need alcohol to sleep—” Jungkook sighs, looking away. “—I didn’t think that it was...
every day.”
“Well, it is.” Jungkook says, short. He doesn’t like talking about it.
“It hurts seeing you like this.” Taehyung whispers back. “W-Will I have to see it every d—”
“You already knew that I had to get fucked up to be able to sleep before you excepted to move in,
you knew of this.” his tone is clipped, a little aggressive at the edges, and nothing like how he
usually sounds. Taehyung takes a step back.
“I’m sorry.” he quickly says, dropping his head. “I just thought—”
“It’s tough, Taehyung, and I can’t just change because you’re here now. And you, out of all people,
shouldn’t be surprised about change not being immediate.” Taehyung’s mouth falls slightly open
before closing it again, gaping like a fish out of water.
“Alright.” he nods. “I’m sorry, have a good night.” Jungkook watches as the younger turns around,
leaving without even going to get his glass of water. He opens his mouth to call after him but
Taehyung closes the door before he gets the chance to do so.
Taehyung hugs the sheets close to his chest, eyebrows furrowed in surprise. Jungkook never talked
to him like that before, not with that tone of voice, especially not with that irritation. He can’t stop
himself from seeing the similarities between how the man said his name and how his fiancé used
to do it. It makes his heart ache.
Jungkook’s not Hyungsik, he knows that. Then why is Jungkook giving him the same uneasy
feeling? Why is he making his heart ache in the same way that his fiancé did?
It’s with a bothered sniff that he closes his eyes and hugs the pillow, wanting nothing but to fall
asleep and stop thinking, comparing, diving into his memories and paranoias. Sleeping will fix it.
│►
Jungkook sighs as he turns around, his mind completely out of it already, but he knows why he
can’t fall asleep and also knows that he won’t be able to unless it does something about it. He
carefully pushes Moon away from his lap to get up from the couch, wobbly legs making him fall to
his knees for an embarrassing moment before getting himself back up, using the couch to stabilize
his unsteady and uncoordinated body.
“Fuck.” he curses to himself, blinking a few times. Moon follows him as she realizes that he has
fallen yet again and Jungkook groans at the pain on his knees. He gets up, though, and manages to
walk to the bedroom without falling a third time.
He doesn’t knock on the door, he just steps in, meeting the silent room where Taehyung sleeps
soundly again with a pillow between his arms. He has told Jungkook that he can’t fall asleep
without hugging something and he found it cute, adorable even.
With a little stumble, he manages to sit down on the mattress, right in front of Taehyung, and he
looks down at him. There’s a little crease between his eyebrows, something bothering him even
when asleep. He lifts two fingers to massage the area and ease the frown away.
The crease slowly disappears and Jungkook can’t say that he’s not happy and proud that it did go
away. “I’m sorry.” he whispers as his hand threads through Taehyung’s soft blond hair. “I’m so
sorry, Taehyung. I’m really sorry.” he finds himself hiccupping a few times, the whiskey’s strong
flavor coming back to his tongue.
He focuses on playing with Taehyung’s hair until their eyes meet. “Hyung?” Taehyung whispers
with a sleepy and confused voice. “Is there something wrong?” Jungkook slowly pulls his hand
away, letting it fall on his lap.
“Yes.” he replies. Taehyung quickly sits up, eyelids a little heavy. “I was... a meanie!” Jungkook
laughs, a snort making Taehyung smile weakly. “I didn’t mean to...” his words sound so dragged
that Taehyung has to take a second to process them in order to understand what he meant.
“Here, come here.” he pats the bed, yelping as Jungkook simply falls limp next to him. “You’re so
drunk, oh my God...” Taehyung whispers.
“I didn’t want to be mean to you, it’s just really tough.” Jungkook says as the younger man covers
him up with the sheets. “It’s even tougher now, but I’m trying.” Taehyung stops, looking down at
him for a few seconds. Tougher now? Jungkook’s having a hard time because of him.
“I can go to a hotel, I don’t want to be a burden in your own apartment.” he says then. “You’re too
drunk to understand, we’ll talk tomorrow.” Taehyung sighs, pushing the covers away from himself
and fixing them around Jungkook.
“Where— going, you, hm. Where are you, uh, going…” Jungkook mumbles as he turns to the side,
hugging the pillow. Taehyung smiles fondly, tucking him in. “Where...”
“Sleep well, I’ll take the couch tonight.” he whispers, biting down his bottom lip before leaning
down to press a sweet kiss to Jungkook’s cheek. He can see the other's lips lifting just a little at the
corners, not used to be the one at the receiving end of those little kisses.
His eyes, though, no longer open. Taehyung giggles when he sees Jungkook’s cheeks turning
uncharacteristically red. Jungkook doesn’t really blush often, he’s always so composed.
“Come here.” he pats the bed so that Moon can jump on it and she immediately snuggles into her
owner. “Night.” he smiles at the both of them, a tiny yet concerned smile, before leaving the
bedroom without closing the door all the way so that Moon can leave if she wants to.
His heart weighs in his chest with what Jungkook told him and he knows that he won’t be able to
sleep again. Taehyung’s only making it harder for the older man and he doesn’t complain because
he’s that much of an amazing guy. He feels guilty.
They will most definitely have to talk about it the next day. Taehyung doesn’t want to stay alone in
some hotel but if that’s what Jungkook needs, he will do just that. Jungkook already helps him so
much, he has to return the favor. He can’t be selfish.
If Jungkook needs his apartment to himself, he’ll leave.
│►
Chapter End Notes
◄│ 22 │►
Chapter Notes
Jungkook props one eye open at the first lick to his cheek, positively tired and willing to just go
back to sleep, so he turns around, snuggling more into the sheets since his alarm hasn’t gone off
just yet. He most likely has at least an hour or two to sleep.
Both his eyes shoot open then. Why is he sleeping on the bed? What time is it? Did he even set an
alarm before falling asleep? Where is Taehyung? He sits up. He knows for a fact that he went to
sleep on the couch, so unless he crept into the bed during the night, there’s no way that he simply
ended up there like that. Something must’ve happened to get him there.
Jungkook closes his eyes again as he rubs over them, stretching his back almost painfully. And
again, he blames it on the age. An image makes his way into his mind, and he quickly realizes that
it’s a memory from the previous night.
“It’s just tough. It’s even tougher now but I’m trying.” Taehyung stops, their eyes meeting in
silence for a few seconds.
“I can go to a hotel, I don’t want to be a burden in your own apartment.” he says then, a whisper.
His jaw falls, hands leaving from where they rub at his eyes. “What the fuck?” he questions
himself, looking around. Moon lays by his feet now but he doesn’t hear anything else other than
her breathing and his own erratic heartbeat. Where’s Taehyung?
The small clock in the nightstand shows that it’s a little over the time his shift should be starting
but being late to work because he got drunk is the furthest from news to him. Taehyung missing is,
though, and those are news and he can’t relax.
The couch. He has to be there.
Jungkook quickly pushes the covers away, bare feet making him hiss at the cold floor as he gets up
from bed in a hurry to jog towards the living room. Empty. “Shit.” he whispers to himself as he
rushes to check the kitchen instead. Empty as well. Jungkook’s hands shake as he pulls his hair
back, eyes already starting to water even if just a little.
He told Taehyung, albeit indirectly, that it’s tougher now with him. It’s not necessarily a lie but
sober Jungkook would never make the mistake of saying such a thing to someone that he just
wants to help. He can’t believe that he did something like that.
He can’t believe he was that careless.
The last thing in his foggy memory is Taehyung suggesting to go to a hotel and just the idea sends
his heart into a sudden stop, making it miss a full beat. He can’t let Taehyung be alone at a time
like this just because he’s too weak to take care of them both and be stable.
“Pick up...” he mumbles to his phone, biting down on his bottom lip harshly when the robotic
voice comes from the other side, welcoming him to leave a message. “Hey, it’s me... again... Just
uhm, please call me whenever you get these, okay?” he says before ending it and he knows that it’s
too vague but he wants to talk about the matter directly, not through a voice mail.
Moon whines as she sits down in front of him, tail wagging. “Where’s Tae, hm? Where did he go?”
he smiles softly when she perks up even more, only taking the teasing tone in his voice as she
can’t, unfortunately, understand what he’s saying.
“Did he leave us? Hm?” he crouches down, playing with her floppy ears. “Did Taehyung have
enough of me? Maybe, right?” his heart beats so loudly in his chest that he believes that the poor
animal is able to sense it. Maybe she does.
Jungkook grabs his phone back in a split second when he gets a text, hope filling him whole only to
be crushed when he sees his coworker’s name on the screen asking if he needs cover for his
absence. He quickly types that he’ll be there in a second, though he knows that he won’t be able to
get there in less than an hour.
Especially with the crying session during his shower that he can already feel coming. He’s so
stressed that he won’t be surprised if it happens. Taehyung leaving was just the last straw. He has
to make it right, make sure that Taehyung knows that he’s not a burden, at all.
“I really, really fucked up, didn’t I?” he asks the dog that simply whines and sits back down while
looking cluelessly up at him. Jungkook chuckles. “Yeah... hmph for you too.”
│►
Yugyeom’s eyes meet his as soon as he steps foot inside the gas station, his coworker perking up at
the sight. Jungkook swallows down a sigh. “Dude.” Yugyeom starts right away. “You’re so
fucking late, if the boss finds out, you’re fucked. It’s already your what, umpteenth strike.”
“I know, I slept in.” he mumbles as he heads to the employees’ room, discarding his jacket.
“I thought that something bad had happened, I’m glad that you’re doing ok, dude.” Yugyeom gives
him a smile as he watches Jungkook pull his shirt off to replace it with his working polo.
“Yep, I’m totally fine.” Jungkook nods. Of course he is. He’s always ok.
They walk together back to the counter and Jungkook rests his head on his forearms, mind
completely out of it, his words from the previous night being the only thing that he can think about.
His coworker observes him for a long moment before breaking the silence.
“Something tells me that you’re not ok, though.” he tries, voice curious.
“I am. I’m just tired, don’t question it.” Jungkook replies in a second, set to avoid every possible
question coming from his coworker. A ping fills the shop and he hurriedly grabs his phone, heart
already beating fast against his chest. Jungkook sighs when all he sees is Yoongi’s name on the
screen. That’s not who he’s desperate to talk to.
“Are you waiting for a text?” Jungkook bites down on his teeth to stop himself from telling the
other to stop being so nosy. “Hm, who’s the chick? Or the guy, actually, I forget that you’re—”
“Do you ever shut up? Honestly.” he interrupts, looking at his coworker with a frown that gets
mirrored instantly. “You know that I hate questions so why do you keep asking and asking and
fucking asking more and more all the damn time? Just leave me alone, gosh.”
Yugyeom flinches, lifting his hands in surrender. “That’s… so rude of you. There’s no need to get
all bitchy at me— What the hell, I was just asking.” bitchy?!
“And I’m just telling you that I don’t want to answer your questions. Not this one, not the other
ones you’ve asked previously and I don’t want any further ones, either. I also don’t want to make
small talk. I hate to break this to you but you’re starting to be insufferable for me, I can’t fucking
deal with this nor can I deal with you.” Jungkook’s eyes go wide at his own words, looking back at
Yugyeom, ready to apologize. He can’t believe he was that mean.
“This is why you need therapy to begin with.” Jungkook takes a step forward, rage taking over him
for a short second, but he stops right away, sitting back down. Yugyeom seems to have realized his
mistake already, eyes huge with guilt written all over them, but it’s too late.
“Don’t interact with me ever again.” Yugyeom gapes. “I was going to apologize for saying that, I
hate hurting people, but now that you just threw this one at me, I’m not apologizing. In fact, fuck
you. Don’t ever talk to me again.”
“Jungkook, I didn’t—” he raises a hand to effectively shut his coworker up who just sighs and
looks away. “I didn’t lie so I shouldn’t even feel bad, but I still do, so I’m sorry.”
“You don’t know shit about me, so don’t you dare mention my need for therapy, my fucking
drinking problems or whatever it is. It’s none of your business, got it? Is it that hard for it to get in
your hard fucking head?” Jungkook asks as he steps down for the stool he’s sitting on.
“I’m trying to be a good friend, you actual idiot.” Yugyeom says, louder, grabbing Jungkook’s
forearm to keep him from walking away. “I ask because you would never share on your own and I
care about you, you fucking— idiot.” he presses, voice genuine and raw.
“I appreciate that, but I’d appreciate it more if you didn’t ask. I don’t want to share, I don’t like to
share and I’m not going to share just because you’re curious.” he pulls his forearm free. “The fact
that you pressure me so much is exactly why I don’t tell you shit, I can’t trust you one bit.”
“So what am I supposed to do? Wait years until you decide that I’m trustworthy enough to know
your goddamn birthday?”
“If you want to, yes. Otherwise, you can also just stay on your side of the counter and I’ll stay on
mine.” Jungkook points.
“You’re never this mean or closed off, what the fuck happened?” he worries.
“I told you, life is tough. I have a lot going on lately and you’re not helping. Stop asking.” he rolls
his eyes. “There’s a man coming, it’s your turn to take him in, shut up for now.” Yugyeom goes
silent, looking down at his hands as he waits for the new customer. He sighs.
“I’ll never be on my damn side of the counter because you liking it or not, I worry and I know for a
fact that even if I annoy you, some days you enjoy my company. I’ll continue to try to entertain
you and to get to know you because despite you being like this, you’re a really nice guy. Working
here is hell enough, I’m not going to be quiet all the time and make it even worse.”
Jungkook stares at him for a few seconds before exhaling slowly through his nose. “Focus on the
customer, will you.” is all he says, seemingly giving up on fighting it.
“I know that deep down you like me.” no reply. “And whenever you stop having so much shit
going on, you’ll thank me always being here. I know that you will.”
“Sure, I will thank you for almost giving me anxiety attacks with your questions, I surely will do
that.” Jungkook scoffs when he sees the other pouting. “You really have no idea of what you’re
dealing with, so just don’t even mention anything else before I actually get pissed and set my goal
to ignore you until I get fired from this shithole.”
“One day we’ll be great friends.” Jungkook just looks away as the customer places his bag of chips
and energy drink on the counter. He’s startled by the sound of an incoming call, hand immediately
diving into his pocket, only to see that it’s exactly who he’s been waiting for.
“I have to take this.” he informs, already sliding his finger on the screen to pick up the call as he
jogs to the employees’ room once again. He exhales. “Taehyung?” a gulp. “Where are you?”
“Oh, hey, hyung. I was with a patient, I couldn’t pick up. Is everything ok? I had so many calls
from you, are you alright?” Jungkook goes silent, mouth falling open in an attempt to speak that
dies before he gets the chance to let anything out. “Hyung?” Taehyung calls again, worried.
“So… you just went to work?” he whispers, a little in disbelief; immensely relieved, though.
“Yeah, hyung, I left you a note on the fridge saying that I was already coming to work today, did
you not see it?” stupid, he deems himself. He didn’t eat anything before leaving, he certainly did
not get close to the fridge. He doesn’t realize that he’s crying until a faint sob breaks through and
the younger doesn’t miss it. “Hyung? Hyung, are you ok? Talk to me, what’s wrong?”
“I thought that you had left.” he whispers as he rests his forehead against the cold metal of his
locker. “I didn’t see the note, I thought— I didn’t— I thought that you were actually gone.”
“I should’ve glued it to your forehead…” they both giggle at that, Jungkook sniffing the stupid
tears away. He doesn’t want to disappoint or fail Taehyung, he didn’t want to make him believe
that moving in with him was a terrible decision, because it wasn’t.
Knowing that Taehyung was just at work does take a heavy weight from his shoulders. “You
should’ve.” he bites down on his bottom lip. “So uh, you’re… going back, right? After work, I
mean— to the apartment…? You’ll go back there, right?”
“We should talk… first.” Jungkook gulps. “Can I pick you up for lunch?” there’s a drop of sweat
going down his back, juxtaposing how cold his entire body has turned in just a mere second with
the prospect of having a conversation about the previous night. “Hyung…?”
“Yeah, you can. I get off twenty minutes after you do.” he gulps. “So you want to uh, talk?”
“About last night, yes.” fuck, Jungkook thinks. Those were really memories after all. “My next
patient will be here any second so I have to go…”
“Oh, right, of course. I will… Uhm, I’ll wait for you at lunch time then.” he hears a knock on the
other side, a clear indicator that Taehyung’s patient has arrived.
“Come in! I have to go, please don’t be so tense, I can hear the stress in your voice, you’ve been
like that lately, we really need to address that.” Taehyung sighs. “We’ll talk, alright, bye.”
“Bye, Tae…” as the line cuts, Jungkook smashes his head against the cold metal once, twice. “You
really fucked up, Jungkook.” he curses himself. “You really fucked up.”
“Not that I was listening—” he immediately spins around, facing his coworker who lifts both of his
hands defensively. “Don’t look at me like that—”
“You’re spying on me now?” Jungkook asks, incredulously. “What the fuck?!”
“No! I’m not, I just— I heard you crying, I just came to check on you, I didn’t even hear what you
said, I just wanted to see if you were alright.” Jungkook’s shoulders sag then, closing his eyes for a
short second, inhaling and exhaling before speaking.
“I’m fine, thanks for asking. Stop creeping up on me, though, I’ve told you minutes ago to stop
doing this shit, so stop. I can’t stress this enough. Stop.”
“I won’t stop caring so if I hear you crying again, I’ll come here again to check on you. I don’t
care if you get pissed or not.” Yugyeom points an accusing finger. “Now get out of here.”
“You go first, I’ll be right behind you.” Jungkook waves him off, putting on the combination to
open his locker. “Don’t just stand there, go. Give me a minute.”
“But you’re going to dr—” he stops. A sigh. “Just take care of yourself, man…” Jungkook watches
as he leaves the room, closing the door behind himself, and doesn’t hesitate before getting his
bottle out, head tilting back as the liquor slides down his throat.
Thinking about lunch makes him nervous. It can go terribly wrong or he can simply man the hell
up and tell Taehyung everything about how he feels because he knows that the younger man will
most likely understand. Probably. Possibly.
“Jungkook! There’s a customer coming and it’s on you!” he hears from the outside and he rolls his
eyes. Fucking Yugyeom.
“I’m going!”
│►
“I’ll bring your orders in a few minutes, if you need anything else, don’t hesitate to call me.” the
waitress smiles, bowing before leaving. Taehyung drops his own smile slowly, turning to the man
in front of him. The drive there was quiet, Jungkook only sat there looking out of the window and
Taehyung focused solely on driving.
It feels a little awkward, even, but Taehyung knows that it’s just because they both have a lot to
talk about. They can’t tiptoe around it anymore. “Jung—”
“About what I said last night—”
“I can go to a hotel.” Taehyung says just a little louder to be able to get the other to listen. “I could
see how much I’ve been affecting you, in a poor way, and when you lashed out on me, I had the
confirmation. You’d never talk to me like that unless you were on the edge and you are on the
edge… and it’s my fault. I’m really sorry, hyung, you’re the most understanding person that I’ve
ever met and you’re the reason why I’m slowly but surely starting to get better after my breakup.
The last thing that I want is to be the one making you feel worse.” he lets out in one go to avoid
being interrupted, inhaling sharply at the end.
“No— No, absolutely not. I’m not letting you stay alone at a time like this, I’m not— no.” he sits
up straight, rubbing his eyes for a second before looking carefully at the younger man. “I think that
we just have to be honest with each other at all times for this to work out.” he says.
“I was honest. It’s your turn.” Taehyung smiles. “Go on.” he nods, encouragingly.
“It’s just… tough. As I told you, it’s always been tough for me but ever since you moved in it’s
gotten somewhat… worse. But better at the same time.” Taehyung tilts his head. “Look, having
you there makes me feel less lonely, makes me feel needed and I love the feeling of being able to
help you feel better.” Jungkook gulps. “I just— I just have trouble coming to terms with the fact
that I have to be controlled and collected and… ok all the time at home now.”
“But that’s the thing, hyung. You don’t have to.” Taehyung furrows his brows.
“Of course I do. What happens when you break down because you miss that piece of trash? If I’m
breaking down myself, how in the world will I help you? It makes me feel great knowing that
you’re ok and safe, but when I just want to lay down and cry and just… be miserable for an hour
and let everything out, I can’t, because I have to be there for you.” he explains, voice incredibly
honest and Taehyung can see the pain all over his eyes. Can hear it in his tone, too.
“Jungkookie… as you said, unless we’re both honest, this won’t work out. You have your
problems, way… worse than my own, so if me being in your place makes them affect you even
harder, I can’t stay there. I don’t want to do that to you.”
“But—”
“When I’m down, you help me, so you have to let me help you too.” Taehyung says, clear. “Stop
pretending to be alright, especially at home. Tell me when you’re not ok, tell me when you need to
talk, tell me when you just— need a damn hug. Be honest. As you said. Be honest.” Jungkook
nods, looking down at the table.
“Ok.” he nods again. “I can— I can do that.” they both smile. “Just know that I can’t change from
one day to the other. My drinking problems don’t just disappear. I fucking wish that they did.”
“I know, I’m so, so sorry for bringing them up last night like that, I was sleepy and it was a terribly
poor choice of words. I’m really, really sorry, Koo.” the older man chuckles at the adorable
nickname, reaching forward to grab the other’s hand across the table, fingers intertwining
automatically on their own. They always do. It’s cute.
“It’s ok, I’m glad that we talked.” his smile stretches even more as Taehyung squeezes his hand
reassuringly. “I was so stressed at work thinking that you were going to move out.”
“I could hear it in your voice, really.” he pulls the hand away to grab the menu again. “I thought
that you’d see the note… and if you didn’t, then you didn’t have breakfast.” Taehyung narrows his
eyes. “Did you go to work without eating, mister?”
“I was too stressed to eat.” Jungkook gives him a sheepish smile.
“Then I hope that you’re in the mood to eat now because I’m not letting you just allow stress to
mess up your health anymore.” and again, Jungkook wouldn’t have it any other way.
│►
“…so they asked me to tell you to set up a dinner or lunch or something.” Jungkook explains while
stuffing his mouth with the oh so delicious meat.
“I miss them but I don’t know if I’m ready to face them so soon. What if they judge me or
something…?” he looks down at his plate, chopsticks rolling around a piece of pasta.
“I don’t think that they would.” Jungkook starts. “And if they do, I’ll be there. I mean— if you
want me to, obviously, but yeah, I wouldn’t let them do that. Just like how you didn’t let Seokjin
do that to me.” Taehyung bites the inside of his cheek, nodding ever so slowly.
“Would you be ok with them going to the apartment for dinner? Maybe… tomorrow?” he offers
and Jungkook smiles.
“Of course I’m ok with that, it’s your place too, after all. Give them a call later, I’m more than ok
with it.” Taehyung nods, happier than just a few moments prior. “And actually, there’s something
that I’ve been wanting to ask since this morning.”
“Oh? Ask away.” he furrows his eyebrows, a little confused, but curious.
“Do you really think that it’s ok for you to be working already? Your work isn’t exactly easy, you
have to deal with everyone’s emotional baggage… imagine that someone goes there with a similar
situation? Won’t it trigger you? Maybe it’s too early…” Jungkook explains his concerns, putting
his chopsticks down. “I don’t want you to have some sort of breakdown at work…”
“Hyung… you worry too much.” he giggles. “I’m sure that it’s ok for me to be back, I promise to
go home if I don’t feel ready or if I start feeling like I’m not in the right mind to be there.”
“And you’ll tell me.” Jungkook points a finger, eyebrow raised in warning.
“…and I’ll tell you, yes, of course.” Taehyung nods.
“Okay then.”
│►
“This is absolutely fucking horrendous.” Jungkook says for probably the twentieth time, hand
coming down to Taehyung’s calf. The latter giggles, stomach hurting from how much he’s been
laughing. “Taehyung. This is not funny, stop laughing, this is terrible.”
“My stomach— I can’t—” Taehyung stretches himself a little better on the couch, his legs thrown
over Jungkook’s lap.
“I’ve been gushing over that character for three hours now, and you knew that he was going to die
and didn’t tell me? How could you—” he tugs his hair back, eyes focused on the screen of the
television, still in disbelief. “Maybe it’s a misdirect. That’s it, right? He’s going to actually be alive
and I’m just an idiot for being sad. That’s what’s happening, right? He’s alive.”
“He—” Taehyung snorts when the credits roll in, Jungkook’s mouth hanging. “He’s dead dead.”
“This is the worst movie ever and I hate it, we’ll never talk about this again.” he frowns when the
younger breaks into another fit of laughter. “I told you that I’m a sucker for romances, how dare
you show me one where the guy dies? That’s just being cruel!”
“Who in the world doesn’t know that Jack dies?!”
“Me?!” Jungkook tuts. “There are people who haven’t watched Titanic, alright?”
“One thing is not having watched it, another is not even knowing how it ends. Everyone knows
that Jack dies and she appears at the end, old and all.” Jungkook looks over at the television,
exhaling ever so slowly. “I can’t believe that you’re this upset over Titanic, this is hilarious.”
“She’s so mean… he would’ve fit there as well. It’s… murder. She just allowed him die, frozen
like that. What was the whole I’ll never let go shit for?”
“Hyung—”
“Listen, he could’ve also not been dead. He was freezing, right, so he could’ve just been
bradycardic— don’t look at me like that, you’re a doctor, you know that it’s possible.” Jungkook
frowns, pointing an accusing finger.
“Again, I’m a therapist, I’m not an actual doctor.” Taehyung chuckles. “How do you even know
what bradycardic means? You know so much random stuff.”
“I know useless shit that only takes space up here but yes, anyway.” he shrugs. “Isn’t it when your
heart slows down and beats really slowly but you’re not actually dead?” Taehyung nods, an
eyebrow raised. “Well then, that’s what I mean. If she wasn’t a bitch, she could’ve held him until
they got him all warm again, fucking menace, murderer, it’s not ok, he could’ve—”
“Hyung.” he places a hand on his shoulder. “Jack’s gone with no way back. You’re the one who
must let go now.” Taehyung snorts again.
“He’s too hot to die like that, how upsetting.”
“You know what.” he sits up. “I’ll go to bed because it’s already late for me and I have to work
tomorrow. You can stay up and calculate their weights and all that to see if the door would be able
to support them both.” Taehyung chuckles, watching as Jungkook rolls his eyes.
“Shut up—”
“Or just mourn his death, as you please.” he leans closer, placing a sweet kiss on Jungkook’s
cheek. “Sleep well, hyung.” the older man’s cheeks turn a little redder and he plays it off by
pulling Taehyung down to give him a kiss on the forehead.
“You sleep well, too. I’ll cry over Jack for a while.” Taehyung giggles as he walks away, waving at
him one last time. Once the younger closes the bedroom door, Jungkook opens the first cabinet to
get a bottle out. He rests back on the couch, making sure that his alarm is settled for the next
morning before he starts drinking. But it doesn’t feel right.
Looking at the bottle while going over Taehyung’s words, doesn’t feel right. He gulps. He doesn’t
want to disappoint him, he doesn’t want Taehyung to look hurt ever again, especially not because
of him. Never because of him.
So he puts the bottle down. Closes his eyes. Breathes in. He can do it. He has a motive.
Taehyung. Taehyung being proud.
Taehyung not being hurt or disappointed.
He can do it.
│►
Taehyung’s eyes open ever so slowly at the sound of a faint cry, looking around to search for
Moon. She’s not there, so he sits up, rubbing his tired eyes. He hears it again, this time a little
louder and clearer. He knows the voice too well by now, so he rushes to get on his feet, running
out of the room.
Moon whines as she sees him, somehow guiding him to the couch where her owner trashes, sweat
sticking his hair to his forehead, tears running down his cheeks. “Hyung. Hyung, hey.” he quickly
sits down, shaking Jungkook by the shoulders. “Jungkook, wake up, c’mon.” the other does so
after a few more shakes, sitting up with a heavy inhale. “Hey, I’m here, I’m here, it was just a
nightmare, you’re ok. I’m here”
“Oh my God.” Jungkook sobs, looking around to make sure that he’s actually in his apartment and
that it was all a dream. “Tae.” he chokes.
“Come here.” he brings Jungkook’s head to his chest, allowing him to cry as much as he needs to.
“It’s ok, it was just a nightmare, it’s over now.” Jungkook nods, figure shaking. “Come with me.”
he gets up, holding a hand out that the other takes right away.
Jungkook allows Taehyung to guide him to the bedroom where they both sit on the bed, hugging
each other tight, illuminated by nothing but the small lamp on the bedside table. “Do you want to
tell me?” Taehyung whispers into his neck where his chin rests. “Do you want to tell me what the
dream was about?” Jungkook sobs but nods. Taehyung wasn’t exactly waiting for a yes.
“My sister was sitting on my lap while I sang to her. We were both sitting by this… window that I
had in my bedroom where you could watch the outside and— and we were both looking at the
moon.” he sniffs, hand curling around Taehyung’s shirt to hold him closer.
“You… have a sister?” he gets nothing but a low sob so he places an innocent little kiss to
Jungkook’s neck, hand pressing soothing circles to his lower back.
“When my grandma died, I was too little to understand death so my mom sat me down on her lap
and sang a song about the moon while we both stared up at it. She told me that my grandma was
there on a space mission.” he chuckles, sniffing. Taehyung smiles, listening carefully. “I gained the
habit to watch the moon because of that song, even after knowing that my grandma wasn’t an
astronaut.”
Taehyung rocks him slowly, his free hand coming to Jungkook’s still damp hair.
“When my parents fought, I sat my sister on my lap and sang that very same song to her, and she
would join me and eventually tune out of the screams from them on the outside. That’s why Moon
has that name. It makes me feel closer to them.” Taehyung feels a cold tear running down his
cheek as the dog joins them, knowing how much she means to the older man, how much just her
name means. “I miss them so fucking much, Taehyung.” he whispers.
“Wherever they are… I’m sure that they miss you too.” he’s startled by a new loud sob and so he
quickly hugs him tighter. “Why didn’t you drink tonight?”
“I didn’t want to disappoint you.” Jungkook admits, sniffing, curling even more against
Taehyung’s chest, hand fisting his shirt.
“You could never do that.” he reassures. “C’mon, let’s get you laid down.” Taehyung helps him to
get under the sheets, tears starting to dry up.
“Can you stay here?” Jungkook grabs his wrist when he tries to get up and his eyes go a little
wider. “If you don’t mind, of course. I-If you’re comfortable, I’d love it if you stayed here.”
“I can, yes.” Taehyung raises the covers to be able to get in as well, startled by yet another little
sob. “Hyung, please don’t cry. I’m here, alright?” he whispers, dragging himself close enough to
tuck Jungkook’s hair behind his ear even if the older man has his back turned to him.
“It hurts. I fucking hate these damn nightmares.” he whispers, eyes closing down with fresh tears
pooling in them. “Can… Can you hold me? Please…?”
Taehyung blinks. Seeing Jungkook so vulnerable is odd but he would never fail him and not be
there for him, so he does as asked, laying his head down just a little above Jungkook’s, arm around
his firm torso. “Breathe slowly… you’ll be fine.” Taehyung whispers, pressing a new kiss to the
back of his neck. “You’re alright, ok? You’re alright.”
“Thank you.” Taehyung feels himself blushing when his hand is grabbed and brought up and a soft
pair of lips meets his knuckles before his hand is tucked in against Jungkook’s strong chest.
“Don’t thank me, just rest.” he says, his free hand going back to Jungkook’s hair. “I’m here.”
“Okay...”
│►
◄│ 23 │►
Chapter Notes
Taehyung wakes up with an unknown pressure on the right side of his chest that has him opening
his eyes immediately, confused. His head slumps back down on the pillow once he realizes what’s
weighing him down like this.
Jungkook’s body is almost completely on top of his, face hidden in the crook of his neck; one of
his arms lays in a way that it frames the younger’s head while the other is just somewhere under
his own body. Warm and comfortable. Possibly the most comfortable sleep they’ve both had in a
really, really long time. Especially Jungkook.
Taehyung just closes his eyes again, figuring that he can sleep until his alarm wakes them both up.
Jungkook’s warm breath hits the side of his neck every time that he exhales and it eases him back
to sleep, the careful, slow breaths that soon match with his own, becoming just one.
However, contrary to his expectations, they’re both woken up soon after by a new weight on the
bed, licking their cheeks to get their attention. Jungkook hums, snuggling even more into the warm
body under his own that simply embraces him back. He lifts his head, confused as to how the
couch is so comfortable all of a sudden.
His eyes go wide upon the realization of the position that he’s in. He tries to pull away, only to get
an arm around his waist. “Don’t...” Taehyung whines, his morning voice even deeper than the
usual. “The alarm hasn’t gone off yet.” Jungkook lets his body relax then, nose back to rest against
Taehyung’s neck, body still mostly on top of him.
Though his eyes open right back up, eyelashes tickling Taehyung’s skin as a thought washes over
him, waking his mind up in a split moment. “Tae?” he whispers, voice so close to his ear.
Taehyung just hums questioningly.
He takes a second to breathe in before he speaks again, pulling away just enough to hold himself up
on his forearm. “I didn’t have a nightmare tonight.” Taehyung furrows his eyebrows, a little
confused, just freshly out of unconsciousness and still unable to think that soon. “I-I didn’t drink
and I didn’t have another dream after coming here. I slept without drinking tonight.”
“Oh.” Taehyung lets out, blinking a few times. “What do you think could’ve helped?” Jungkook
pulls away completely to sit up, both missing each other’s warmth right away. It was comfortable
that way, the closeness and the feeling of being held so tightly.
“I don’t know— Maybe the talk? I don’t know...” Jungkook tries to come up with a reliable theory
as Taehyung rubs his eyes and sits up as well, hand resting on Moon’s fur. “Maybe talking after
the first nightmare...? Since I opened up about stuff and all.”
“That’s a possibility.” Taehyung nods ever so slowly, mind going back to all the information given
the night before. He looks up at the older man, biting down on his bottom lip as he considers what
to say next. “Hyung?” he calls, a little hesitant.
Jungkook tilts his head. “Yeah?”
“You have a sister.” Taehyung can see Jungkook gulping, eyes falling down to his lap, seemingly
anxious now. “You don’t have to tell me anything, you know that. I’m just asking because you
mentioned her yesterday for the first time… but you don’t have to answer.”
“I know... it’s just— it’s weird to talk about her.” he chuckles humorlessly, his fake smile breaking
apart right away. “She uh, she’s three years younger than I am. Her name w— is Mya.”
“When... When was the last time that you saw her?” Jungkook stares at the wall for a silent second,
counting the years in the back of his head. His eyes look sad, a little unfocused; nostalgic.
“Fourteen years ago.” Taehyung gapes. “I was thirteen so yeah, fourteen years ago.” Jungkook
looks up at the ceiling as he waves a hand in front of his eyes. “Why am I crying— It’s been so
long since then, I should be over this by now, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
He stops, almost falling backwards on the bed as a pair of arms circles his torso, his own quietly
wrapping around Taehyung’s body as well. “It doesn’t matter how long ago it was. If it hurts, it
hurts. No more, no less. I hope that one day you’ll validate your emotions as much as you validate
mine, hyung. If it still hurts twenty years from now, there won’t be anything wrong.”
Jungkook sniffs, grabbing Taehyung’s shirt between his closed fist. “I just miss her so fucking
much, Tae.” he whispers, hiding his face against the younger’s neck once again. “So much.”
“I can imagine.” Taehyung whispers back. “I understand.” Jungkook sighs as he’s rocked ever so
slowly. “It’s ok to be upset, Koo. It’s ok. You may think that you have to act strong and tough but I
promise you, it’s ok to be upset, it’s ok to be sad, it’s ok to need to cry.”
“I know, I’m starting to accept that now.” he closes his eyes. “Thank you for... always being here
when I need to talk or just a freaking shoulder to lay on. I know that it gets tough for you too and
yet… you’re still here.” Jungkook says, hand raising to curl around Taehyung’s blonde locks.
“You’re a priority.” Taehyung pulls back, squishing both of Jungkook’s soft cheeks between his
palms. “And if you’re upset, I’ll always listen to it and try to help you. Always, hyung.”
“But I’m making the mood all weird and we literally just woke up.” he says, voice sounding
funnier with his lips puffed out like that. “You’re still sleepy and yet, here I am.”
“That doesn’t matter.” Taehyung giggles. “You look like a little fish.” Jungkook furrows his
eyebrows, making an affronted sound as Taehyung keeps squishing his cheeks in an attempt to
lighten the mood. It works, it gets an easy smile out of him, albeit lopsided.
“The fish is humph—” Taehyung laughs. “—hungry, I meant hungry. How about we go eat
something? How does that sound?” Jungkook pries his hands away to be able to pull Taehyung out
of bed, Moon following them both as the blonde struggles to keep up.
“Wait, hold on, I’ll trip!” Jungkook bends down, picking him up and across his shoulders as though
Taehyung’s weightless. “Oh my— Put me down!”
“No tripping for you.” he sing-songs. “Stop moving.”

“Ugh, fine.”
│►
“…okay, Minnie. I’ll call you later then. Bye, love you.” Taehyung smiles, ending the call before
putting the phone down on the kitchen counter. “So, that’s out of the list already.”
“What did they say?” Jungkook asks, stuffing his mouth with more cereal. “Judging by that smile
of yours, I’d say that we will have guests tonight.” he guesses.
“Yeah, they want to come. I miss them, they miss me and they actually also said that they want to
hang out with you again.” Jungkook raises an eyebrow. “Don’t look so surprised, you’re a funny
and nice guy. They liked you, it’s hard not to.”
“Well, thank you. I have yet to form an actual opinion on them but they seemed nice when I was
with them.” he shrugs. “They care a lot about you, that much I know.” Taehyung smiles, taking a
sip from his juice before getting another spoonful of cereal.
“They do… and it’s mutual. Oh, and they will be here soon after I’m done with work, but I have to
go to the grocery store before coming home so…” Taehyung looks away, tapping the table with
the tips of his fingers. “You could come with me to get the shopping done.”
Jungkook just stares back. “I’ll take the bus and meet you there since I get off work after you do
and the bus sometimes takes some time to come, so we better not settle for another place.”
“No, let me think.” he says, looking away. “Let’s do this, you’ll drive me to work and then you’ll
go to the gas station. I’ll go to the nearest grocery store after work and, in the meantime, you get
off work and drive there to pick me up and join me with whatever is left. Works. That’s what we’ll
be doing.” Taehyung says as he nods to himself. “Yep, that’s the plan.”
“Wait— What? No, I can’t take your car.” Jungkook almost chokes on his cereal.
“Why not? You have a driving license.” he shrugs.
“Yeah but… it’s your car.” Taehyung blinks. “What if I scratch it or something? I haven’t driven a
car in ages.” he points. “Or worse, just drive against something, or fucking… run someone over.”
“If you scratch it or drive against something then we’ll just get it fixed, it’s just a car.” he waves a
dismissive hand in the air. “However, that last option would be a real problem… Don’t kill anyone,
please, we can’t have you going to prison.” Jungkook gulps at the mention, looking away from him
with something hidden in his eyes.
Taehyung misses it.
“Right. Okay, but… you can’t get mad at me if I’m a bad driver and fuck up your car, it’s been
like… five years since I sat behind a steering wheel.” Jungkook says with a small frown.
“I wouldn’t get mad, don’t worry.” Taehyung chuckles. “When you get off work, you go pick me
up. I’ll probably still be buying stuff so… do join me or— Actually, I’ll let you know during the
day if I manage to come up with a good list. If I do, then you can wait in the car.”
“How about you call me during your lunch break and I help you come up with the list?”
Taehyung smiles. Hyungsik never helped. Jungkook is the sweetest. “Alright, it’s a plan.”
│►
Taehyung hums to himself, twisting the can of tomato sauce in his hand to look at the ingredients.
He’s not very sure of what to cook for a small dinner with Jungkook and his best friends, so he
figures that taking a variety of things should be the smartest thing to do.
He puts two cans in the cart, pushing it along the aisle. Lately he’s been trying to buy a lot of
things to fill up the cabinets, wanting nothing but to make sure that Jungkook has as many options
as possible when in times of hunger. That’s all that Taehyung wants now.
That’s why he picks a few random items, chocolates and snacks that he’s sure he’s seen Jungkook
eating before, throwing them in the cart as well before he continues to push it slowly to the milk
session; he gets two gallons and also a pack of banana milk. If he remembers correctly, Jungkook
always had one in high school and he remembers finding it oddly endearing at the time.
“That seems to be all…” he says to himself, looking down at the almost full cart. With a satisfied
hum, he pushes the cart through the aisles, heading to the cashier who greets him with a big smile
that he easily mirrors. “Hey, good afternoon.”
“Good afternoon, sir… Shopping big today, aren’t we?” the old lady asks as she starts scanning the
items one by one. Taehyung chuckles with a shrug of the shoulders.
“Shopping for the week, I could say.” she gives him a short nod before proceeding to do her job as
he pulls his credit card out. Paying goes on as smoothly as the whole interaction, polite smiles and
even more polite words exchanged. He collects the bags soon after.
“Have a good day, sir.” she wishes.
“Thank you so much, have a good afternoon.” he bows to her, slowly dropping his smile as he
begins walking away, humming a song to himself while thinking of what he can cook for their
dinner. Jungkook helped him come up with a few options, but they couldn’t settle for anything.
He stops in his tracks with a soft gasp as a well-known figure becomes visible. “Fancy seeing you
here.” Taehyung hears, his feet taking a step closer almost automatically. Unconsciously.
“Sik.” he whispers, eyes wide and mouth wanting to stretch in a smile. Hyungsik, ever well
dressed in one of his many suits, gives him a sharp and quick once over, smirking at the sight of
his hand. Taehyung’s still wearing the engagement ring after all. “What… What are you doing
here?” he asks, well aware of how Hyungsik has never once shopped for groceries.
“You know, since my maid moved out, I have to buy food for myself otherwise I’ll starve. Not
looking forward to that, as you can imagine, so I have to come here every day.” Hyungsik explains
with a roll of the eyes, annoyed. Taehyung nods, not quite registering the insulting words his fiancé
just said out loud. ‘Maid’ just goes past him, mind too foggy to process it.
“You— You look nice.” I miss you, Taehyung almost lets out, but he’s able to bite down on his
own tongue in time. Hyungsik probably won0t say it back, but he misses Taehyung too, right?
“When are you coming back, huh?” Hyungsik asks with a teasing tone, not missing the way that
the blonde takes an immediate step closer. Predictable. “When are you returning to your place?”
“I—” Taehyung inhales, choking on his own breath. Now, he wants to say. Right now. Before he
can, though, Jungkook’s words come flooding in; words about how Hyungsik was never good to
him, how he didn’t treat him well, and Taehyung believes him. Jungkook wouldn’t lie, so he gulps,
taking a defensive step back. “I won’t go back.” he says then, though his voice wavers a little bit,
betraying him. “I have to go— I have to go home now.”
“Where are you staying?” Taehyung looks away. Hyungsik doesn’t like Jungkook at all, he knows
that much, his fiancé won’t be happy with him. But he’s not his fiancé anymore and Taehyung
likes Jungkook, he’s an amazing friend, an amazing listener, amazing company.
Taehyung has the power to decide on his own now.
“Not that it’s any of your business, but I’m staying with Jungkook.” Taehyung replies, chin high
and chest just the slightest puffed out, looking confident. Hyungsik chuckles, mean.
“That’s our engagement ring on your finger still. You can be with that loser, in whatever way that
you are, it’s still me that you’ll always want at the end of the day. We both know that you’ll be
back—” he starts, only to be interrupted by Taehyung pushing past him, tears in his eyes.
He inhales in relief when he sees his car already parked at front, Jungkook leaning on the window
while busy on his phone. Taehyung rushes to get there, pressing on the small button to make the
trunk slowly open on its own.
“I was about to text you.” Jungkook says, putting the phone down. Taehyung just puts the bag
there in a hurry, afraid that his fiancé may follow him to the car and he doesn’t want to see him
again, neither does he want Jungkook to fight him.
“Hey, hyung.” he still greets with a nervous smile as he sits down, putting on his seatbelt in a split
second. Jungkook watches with an eyebrow raised. “What…?” Taehyung blinks at him.
“You’re acting weird, are you ok?” Jungkook asks. “Did something happen? Are you alright?”
“Yeah! Yeah, yes, I just— I really need to pee, that’s all, please drive.” he gestures to the steering
wheel, eyes falling back to the grocery store’s door. Jungkook acts as though he believes him and
nods, turns the engine on without questioning. He’ll ask later at home. Maybe after dinner.
“Alright, let us be quick, then.” Jungkook says, tone light. “Tell me about your day.”
Taehyung smiles. Jungkook always asks about his day.
│►
“I’ll get it!” Taehyung says loud enough for Jungkook to hear, wiping his hands on his apron,
walking towards the kitchen door. Jungkook already has a hand around the door handle and he’s,
yet again, reminded that he doesn’t have to do everything anymore. It’s still odd. Still new.
“Hey!” he hears his best friends greeting Jungkook, showing two large-sized bottles of an
expensive brand of red wine. Jungkook eyes it for a second, mind already filling up with hesitation
before he feels a reassuring hand on his lower back that snaps him out of it.
“Hey—” Taehyung is cut off by two arms engulfing him, Jimin’s body colliding him with his own
almost immediately in a bone-crushing hug. Jungkook smiles, gesturing for Hoseok to come in as
well. “Ah, Jiminie, I missed you so much.”
“I’ve missed you more.” Jimin squeals, crushing him even harder. Taehyung giggles as it gets hard
for him to breathe correctly. Jimin reluctantly pulls away, offering a short hug for the older man in
the room as well. Hoseok settles for just shaking Jungkook’s hand with a tap to his shoulder and
press a kiss to Taehyung’s temple.
“So, we brought wine.” Hoseok informs, showing the bottles. “I hope you like wine, hyung, we
weren’t sure of which one to pick…” he turns to Jungkook then, who just gulps.
“Actually… I don’t— I don’t really drink.” his eyes meet Taehyung’s in a silent cry for help.
The blonde gets the hint right away. “Yeah, Jungkookie doesn’t drink, he’ll settle for juice. But let
me put that in the kitchen while I finish dinner.” Taehyung takes the bottles, offering them a smile.
Jungkook’s shoulders relax. He can always rely on the younger man.
“Oh, I’ll help you.” Jimin smiles, following Taehyung to the kitchen as Hoseok sits down on the
couch next to Jungkook. The silence, albeit comfortable, only lasts for a small moment, as they
turn to each other, Hoseok already clearing his throat to speak.
“Don’t you have a dog?” he asks, looking around, even if Moon’s too big for him to just not see her
there. “Where did she go?”
“She’s in the kitchen. If someone’s cooking, she doesn’t leave the kitchen even if there’s a knock
on the door so she’s most certainly laying there right now.” Jungkook explains, crossing his legs on
top of the couch, the television still on but now turned into background noise.
“Oh, I see. She’s a really cute dog.” Hoseok compliments, fiddling with his fingers. “I have to ask
you, hyung… How has it been? Living together?” Jungkook bites the inside of his cheek, giving it
a thought. He can either give an answer that won’t get him any additional questions, or tell the
naked truth and risk being asked a bunch of things.
“It’s been ok, it helps the both of us in different ways.” he settles for the first option. Hoseok
doesn’t need to know what they go through, anyway. It’s private. “It was a good decision.”
“Tae looks happy and even if I don’t know you that well, you don’t look bad either so I can agree
that it was a good decision indeed.” Hoseok smiles. “I’m glad that Taehyungie has you… thank
you for being there for him at a time like this, I can imagine that it hasn’t been exactly easy.”
“It’s still a little hard for him to be away from Hyungsik, but I understand so I just… help him
through it.” Jungkook sighs. “Do you want something, by the way? Sorry that I didn’t ask, I’m not
that used to getting visits, my friends usually act like this is their own place.”
“Oh, actually, I could use a glass of water, if you don’t mind.” he smiles as Jungkook gets up on
his feet once again with a dismissive wave. Moon perks up as soon as she sees him, even if Jimin
has both of his arms around her. Jungkook chuckles. No one can resist his baby.
“I’m considering stealing your dog.” he teases as the other grabs a glass from the cabinets.
“Don’t even try.” Jungkook threatens with an eyebrow raised, hand already pulling on the fridge
handle. “She’s my child, you can’t do that.” Jimin pouts, still threading his fingers through her fur.
“Besides, she wouldn’t go with you, she’s very loyal.”
“I can tell, she’s currently trying to go to you.”
“Hey, hyung, come here for a second.” Taehyung calls before he can get out of the kitchen with
the glass of water, so Jungkook quickly goes back. “Please taste this…” he holds a piece of meat in
a small fork, a hand under it to prevent the sauce from spilling.
Jungkook opens his mouth to take it, allowing Taehyung to feed him. He hums. “It’s amazing, as
always.” he says, munching on it. “It’s really good, maybe add just a little bit more pepper, but it’s
good either way. I know that you don’t like spicy food, add only if you feel like it.”
“I’ll add a little bit, thank you so much, hyung.” Taehyung smiles. Jimin raises an eyebrow at how
Jungkook kisses Taehyung’s temple, his hand on the younger’s lower back as he does so, but he
leaves as if nothing happened and Taehyung doesn’t look surprised either. Jimin smirks.
“So.” he leaves the dog to stand up and rest against the counter, Moon quickly fleeing after her
owner. “What’s going on with you two?” Taehyung turns to him, confused.
“What do you mean? With whom?” Jimin frowns. “Jungkookie and I?” Taehyung chuckles.
“Yeah, who else.” Taehyung tilts his head, visibly clueless. “Your face tells me that there’s
nothing going on and you can’t imagine how sad that makes me feel.” he pouts.
“I’m sorry, I’m really lost.” Jimin sighs dramatically. “I’ll just go back to adding pepper…”
“Yeah, do that.”
│►
“…I remember it clearly, telling my mom that I wanted to be a thief when I grew up. I was joking
but she thought that I was being serious and I had to sit for almost two hours listening to her giving
me a life lesson about it.” Hoseok ends the story, all of them still laughing over it.
Their plates are already empty, nothing but glasses filled with red wine and one with juice.
Jungkook doesn’t want to drink in front of them. Just the possibility of getting drunk or even the
slightest tipsy makes him feel embarrassed.
Jimin is already giggling way too often, fourth glass of wine downed and fifth in hand. Jungkook
knows that getting tipsy wouldn’t be a problem, but he knows better. Taehyung knows too. He
doesn’t want to show that side of himself. The side that can’t hold back from drinking more and
more and more after every glass.
“I think that my funniest childhood story was probably a trip that I went on with my parents and my
brother, and we all got lost. It was incredibly funny. I think that my entire childhood was like that,
but I don’t remember much.” Jimin says, swirling the glass in his hand. “I miss those times.”
“Yeah, being a kid… no responsibilities, all fun and games, just enjoying easy school and easier
life. I love what we have now but being a kid, that young innocence and all, it was amazing and
freeing.” Hoseok goes on, resting his chin on his palm.
Taehyung glances over to his housemate, seeing how empty his eyes have become as they stare
down at the table. His chest fills up with concern. He didn’t even realize how they have been
talking about childhood for the longest time. Damn wine.
Jungkook’s startled when Jimin turns to him, he can already see the question getting directed to
himself. “I’ll take this to the kitchen.” he quickly stands up, gathering the dishes in a few seconds
before heading out of the room. He really doesn’t want to be asked about his childhood.
Taehyung follows him with his eyes, knowing that he’s probably not feeling so great. “Do you
guys want ice cream?” he suggests with a smile, itching to go after Jungkook.
“Oh my, please, yes.” Jimin says with an exaggerated tone of voice, giving Taehyung the moment
to get up and leave, too. Just as he expected, Jungkook has both of his hands on the kitchen
counter, head hanging low. Taehyung can’t see his expression since the other has his back turned
to him, but he guesses that he looks just as empty as some moments prior.
Taehyung walks closer in silence, wrapping his arms around the older man who shakes in surprise
before resting back again with a sigh, not minding Taehyung’s head laying on his shoulder blade.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t even register what we were talking about… I would’ve changed topics.” he
says, only loud enough for Jungkook to hear and no one else. “Don’t be upset, please. I had two
glasses and I wasn’t focused enough to change the topics…”
“I’m not upset, don’t apologize.” Jungkook is quick to reassure him, turning around in his hold so
that Taehyung’s hugging him from the front, hands now loosely resting on Jungkook’s waist.
“You’re sad, though. You can tell me.” he says with a little pout, getting a sigh in return. “What’s
wrong, hyungie? Talk to me, c’mon.” Taehyung encourages.
“It’s just tough hearing all of those stories and it’s not your fault. I didn’t want to bring the mood
down as I always do, that’s why I left. You didn’t have to come here.” Jungkook smiles albeit
weakly, combing Taehyung’s bangs away carefully.
“Tae! The ice cream…!” he hears his best friend whining so they both pull away.
“You should go back there.” Jungkook says then and Taehyung halts in his steps on his way to the
fridge, turning back to him. “What?” he tilts his head.
“You’re not coming?” Jungkook looks down. “Hyung… I can’t leave you here alone, if you want
to stay back a little longer, I can—”
“No, no, please, you can go, I just need a minute.” he gestures. “It’s fine, Tae, I promise, you can
go.” Jungkook assures with a little smile.
“Ok… call me if you need anything, though, I’ll come here in a second.”
Jungkook chuckles. “Alright.”
│►
Jungkook rests back on the couch, adjusting his head yet again. He’s been staring up at the ceiling
for about an hour or two already, he has long lost track of time, having absolutely no idea of what
time it is. He knows that he won’t be able to sleep.
He had a nightmare just the night before, his mind could never settle down to have another one.
Jungkook sits up when he hears steps coming closer and furrows his eyebrows. Why is Taehyung
up so late? “I heard you moving around.” the blonde says, disappearing into the kitchen. He
frowns even more.
However, that’s replaced by surprise once the younger appears again with a bottle of whiskey.
“Tae—”
“I know that you think that I’m disappointed or something, but I’m not. I understand why this is…
necessary, in a way.” he hands over the bottle with a closed smile. “While we can’t find a solution,
you won’t have to be tormented by those nightmares when you’re just trying to get some rest. I’m
not disappointed at all. If you have to drink for another week, two weeks, be it.”
“Thank you.” he whispers, looking down at the bottle before his eyes go a little wider at the kiss
that he receives to his forehead. He’s usually the one kissing Taehyung’s. It’s a good surprise.
“Sleep well, hyungie.” Taehyung ruffles his long hair before walking away. Jungkook blinks at his
disappearing figure, biting down on his bottom lip. Moon snuggles more into him and so he sighs
with a little smile. Taehyung’s not disappointed. That’s all that he wants, really.
Well, that and that cold bottle of whiskey.
│►
◄│ 24 │►
Chapter Notes
“Dude.” Yugyeom calls once Jungkook returns to the counter from aiding a customer on the
outside. “Can I tell you something?” Jungkook looks over at his coworker with an eyebrow raised,
gesturing for him to go on. “I had a date last night, can I tell you about it?”
“Oh?” Jungkook tilts his head. “How did it go? Who was it with? You usually tell me when you
meet new girls so I either missed something, or you took someone that you’ve been with before…
either way, tell me about it.” Yugyeom tries not to smile too much. Seeing Jungkook being curious
or excited about anything is like a breath of fresh air.
“It was with the same girl that I met when we went out clubbing together, so it was cool. We
clicked pretty well and she was fun during that night so I kept her number and I texted yesterday
out of the blue. We ended up going for some pizza... and we agreed to go on another date. Isn’t that
nice?” Yugyeom smiles, leaning against the counter.
Jungkook hums. “It’s been some time since we went out, though. Why have you only gone on a
date now?” he tilts his head. “Did you reach out to her sooner?”
“I actually didn’t. I don’t know, I was a little hesitant to call her because we were both drunk and it
was a simple one-night stand so I didn’t want to be weird and text her like a creep or something if it
was a one-sided emotion. She could’ve not felt the same way… like, she could’ve thought that I
wasn’t interesting or something.” Jungkook nods, grabbing the nearest pen, scribbling down on the
back of an unwanted receipt left on the counter.
“That’s nice. Maybe with a girlfriend you’ll have more to worry about rather than my life. You
know, rather than being inconvenient.” he says with a smile but hisses at the strong slap that he
receives to his arm soon after. “What the hell did you hit me for...? That was so hard, too.”
“Stop being an asshole to me, I’m not inconvenient, I worry a lot about you, there’s a huge
difference.” Jungkook rolls his eyes. “The fact that I’m probably the only person that you’re mean
to, truly breaks my poor little heart…” he drags, dramatic.
“You’re right.” Yugyeom gapes. “Either learn your place or learn how to ask questions without
being invasive, and maybe I’ll consider treating you like I treat everyone else.” Jungkook flashes
him a smile that only results in Yugyeom displaying both his middle finger and an annoyed frown.
“What about you, dude?” he smoothly changes topics. “Any love story for me?” Jungkook
chuckles, turning into an actual laugh by the end. “Why is my question that funny?”
“I don’t have the time or the patience for a girlfriend or a boyfriend right now. I have too much
going on at the moment.” Yugyeom tilts his head with a low hum. “I also don’t want to think of
someone all up in my business, you pretty much do what a partner will do to me, and I don’t like
that one bit. If I started dating anyone, it’d last for two days until they start asking too much.”
“I feel like you’re someone who’s going to be single forever at this rate.” he jokes.
“Thank you.” Jungkook smiles, forced, before throwing his pen at his coworker. “If someone who
really gets my attention comes around, then sure, but I’m ok as of now. My life is pretty damn
stressful.” he sighs. “I have a lot going on, especially in— in my head.”
“Living alone and being single must make you feel lonely as hell...” Yugyeom draws out.
“Well, I used to feel lonely, but now Taehyung—” Jungkook stops, squinting when his coworker
squints at him as well. “There’s a customer coming, you take it, it’s your turn.”
“No, no, don’t try to change topics, what were you saying about Taehyung? Isn’t that how you said
your therapist is called? How is he living with you? Is it another Taehyung? That’d be a weird
coincidence, so how did you two end up living together?” he questions, taking a step forward into
Jungkook’s personal space. Crowding. Jungkook doesn’t like that.
“It’s a long story and, as you can imagine, I’m not telling you anything about it. Focus on your job,
I’ll take a break now.” Yugyeom frowns as he watches him leave, already knowing that the smell
of alcohol will be all over Jungkook’s breath once he returns.
“Sure... don’t take too long.” he settles for saying.
Jungkook nods. “I’ll be back in a minute.”
│►
Taehyung hums to himself as he presses the small button on his car keys, the beeping sound being
a clear indicator that the doors have locked. He grabs his phone and house keys, heading towards
the building, still humming to a song at the back of his throat, the same one that was on the radio
just a few seconds prior.
His feet stop in their tracks when he hears something. Just a faint sound that has him turning
around to search for its source. His ears perk up once he identifies it as a low meowing coming
from the nearest bushes on the small, sad, and very uncared-for garden at the front of the building.
“Kitten?” he whispers to himself, curious.
Taehyung squats down in front of the bushes, putting his phone and keys down on the floor to be
able to pull some twigs to the side. Another meow comes through them. Judging by how high and
light the sound is, he guesses that it’s not a big cat, rather a baby one.
He’s proven right when he sees a small kitten, barely the size of his palm. “Hello there, hi. Oh my
God, hi.” his voice goes up a few octaves, smiling as big as his lips allow him to. “You’re so dirty,
oh my, you tiny poor thing.” he pets the animal’s head before picking it up slowly, trying not to
scare him off. The poor cat so dirty that he finds it impossible to know its actual color.
He continues petting the kitten, sitting back on his heels. If he remembers correctly, Jungkook has
mentioned briefly how there’s only one animal that he hates and wants absolutely nothing to do
with. Cats.
It doesn’t take him much thinking to know that Jungkook won’t be happy to see a little baby cat in
his apartment. Would he be angry? Taehyung has never actually seen him angry. A new scared
meow helps him make up his mind and he’s soon rising up to his feet after getting the keys and his
phone back from the floor.
“No, no, don’t cry, we’ll get you all cleaned up.” Taehyung reassures as he opens the building’s
door to head inside, holding the small cat against his chest, positively dirtying his shirt but he
doesn’t even mind. He’s saving a kitten from the street and the cold. He’s finally going to have a
pet of his own… that, if Jungkook doesn’t hate him for it, of course. He just might.
He can hear Moon barking and sniffing as he slides the keys on the door, twisting it twice to the
left before pushing it open. The dog jumps on her back paws to sniff whatever he’s holding and
soon is barking even louder once she understands that it’s an animal. A living creature.
“Shush, you’re scathing him. Or her.” he hisses, making sure that the cat is out of Moon’s reach so
as to not scare the poor thing. “Come here.” Taehyung whistles, the large dog following him to the
kitchen and the door is closed once she enters.
Moon whines, confused. “Stay there for just a few minutes, I’ll open the door once I’m done
cleaning this baby.” he giggles, feeling a little dumb for talking to her as if she understands, a habit
that he’s gained from Jungkook.
He shrugs to himself on his way to the bathroom where he places the small, shaking kitten in the
sink, his hands on his waist. “Now, what should I do with you?”
│►
Jungkook frowns as soon as he opens the door and isn’t welcomed by a jumping, excited dog as he
usually is every single day. He shrugs it off as Taehyung may have the bedroom door closed and,
therefore, Moon can’t be greeting him as per usual.
His ears perk up when he hears Taehyung’s low voice coming from somewhere, most likely the
bedroom, and he assumes that the younger is on a phone call. Either that or he has someone over,
maybe Jimin or Hoseok. Or both of them.
Jungkook throws his jacket and phone to the couch before following Taehyung’s voice through the
hall and he’s rather surprised to find him in the bathroom instead. Holding no phone. “Hey.”
Taehyung quickly stands up. “Hey, hyung.” he greets with a smile, leaving the small cat on the
floor just behind his leg. Jungkook smiles back, not noticing it, eyes on the younger man instead.
“Hey.” he says again as he leans against the doorframe, crossing his arms. “Were you talking to
yourself? To the mirror, perh—“ his eyes catch a small movement and he’s glancing down in a
split second. Taehyung watches his eyes go as wide as they’ve ever been before. “How did a
fucking rat get in here— step back.” Jungkook pulls him by the wrist, guiding Taehyung to stand
behind him. “I’ll kill it, don’t worry, step back—”
“Oh God, no!” Taehyung shrieks, wrapping both of his arms around Jungkook’s middle to pull him
back and out of the bathroom. “It’s not a rat! Don’t step on it, oh my—”
“Then what the actual fuck is that?!” Taehyung only smiles. “What? Why are you smiling?” he
looks back to the bathroom floor, narrowing his eyes. “Is that— Is that— Taehyung, what—”
“It’s a little kitten.” Jungkook stays silent. “I heard it crying when I was entering the building... I
couldn’t just leave the poor thing crying in the bushes.” Taehyung explains, tugging on the hem of
Jungkook’s shirt. “Look at it, isn’t he so cute? Or she... I haven’t checked it yet, could be a girl.”
Jungkook stares at the animal all curled up, still shaking, on the bathroom floor, and takes a
startled step backwards — bumping into Taehyung, must add — as the cat turns to them.
Taehyung giggles.
“I hate cats with a burning passion, I can’t believe that there’s one in my bathroom floor right now
as I speak.” he complains, rubbing both of his eyes. “That shit is so ugly and small and gross and
mean, they’re mean, I hate cats, oh God.”
Taehyung pouts. “Can we keep—”

“Absolutely not.” Jungkook cuts him off, leaving the cat out of his sight to look back at the
younger male. “We have Moon, we don’t need a rat, Moon is enough.”
“It’s not a rat!” Taehyung frowns. “Can we at least bathe him? I don’t even know the actual color
of its fur since he’s all dirty... please, hyungie…?”
“We?” Jungkook chuckles. “I’m not touching that ugly thing. You can, though, and I’ll give you
moral support from the side. By the way, good luck with that, rats are also mean bitches when it
comes to water... or anything else, really.”
“His name isn’t rat and he’s not a rat, shut up.” Taehyung walks back into the bathroom, picking
the kitten up before placing him back in the sink. Jungkook just sits himself on the toilet’s lid to
watch. Taehyung turns the water on, a rather warm temperature, shoulders relaxing when the poor
kitten doesn’t show any major reaction.
Probably too shaken up to be bothered by just some water.
“Oh! I can start to see it, I think that it’s a yellow kitten.” he says with a smile, carefully scrubbing
its fur with his fingers. “Koo! It’s a yellow k— Ow! He scratched me...!” Taehyung pulls his hand
away, looking at the red bloody line. “He really scratched me.”
“I hope that you’re ready to die soon.” Jungkook says, nonchalant, looking at his nails until he
feels Taehyung’s confused gaze on him through the mirror. “Rats were the ones passing the Black
Death to people... did you sleep through history classes?” he raises an eyebrow.
Taehyung tries, he really does, but he’s embarrassed to say that such a mean joke made him laugh
for about a minute. Minute which Jungkook spends trying not to join in and laugh just as much.
Not only is Taehyung’s laugh contagious, he’s also proud of his joke.
“Stop being a meanie and give me a towel.” Jungkook huffs but does as asked, grabbing a small
hand towel so that Taehyung can dry the poor scared animal without making it worse. If he were to
use a blow dryer like they do with Moon, the kitten would be beyond terrified.
“This is appalling, really.” he still feels the need to complain.
Taehyung hums as he finishes drying the kitten, or at least as much as possible, the cat curled on
his palm. Then he turns towards his housemate with a smile. “Isn’t he so cute?” Jungkook leans
away, making a gagging sound. “Can we keep it? Please, please, please.” Jungkook looks up,
seeing how Taehyung has put on the most convincing expression that he can pull off.
“I guess that we can keep it, Moon could use a snack.” Taehyung’s mouth hangs open, frowning
when Jungkook falls into a pit of laughter himself. “Have you seen Moon’s size? She’s going to eat
that thing in a single bite, we couldn’t keep it even if I liked cats, I’m sorry. We just can’t.”
“Can we at least try…? Can we put them side by side and see how she reacts to it?” Jungkook
stares at him for a second before sighing and gesturing for Taehyung to lead the way, trailing right
after the younger man so that he can see it and try to prevent a disaster.
Moon runs to Jungkook as soon as the kitchen door is opened, tail wagging happily when he bends
down to greet her back. Taehyung carefully places the cat on the floor, squatting behind it in case
of emergency. He whistles to get Moon’s attention.
The large dog turns to him before taking a few steps closer.
They’re both silent, watching as Moon sniffs the kitten once, twice.
Neither of them expected her to whine and run back to hide behind Jungkook’s legs. “What the—”
her owner blinks, Moon barking between more whines. “Is she scared of it?”
Taehyung fully kneels down, throwing his head back in laughter. “She’s really so fierce.”
“This is bruising my ego so badly.” Jungkook places a hand over his chest, looking back to his dog.
“Moon, baby, c’mon, how can you be scared of that little thing…” he points out incredulously.
Taehyung laughs even more.
“So Moon is clearly not a problem. Can we keep it? Please?” Taehyung pouts as he stands back up,
clasping his hands together as if begging. “Please, hyungie...!”
“Only if you name it rat.” Taehyung just glares. “No, I’m not joking. It can only stay under my
roof if you call it by what it is. That’s the deal that I have to offer. No more, no less.”
“No...! Hyungie, c’mon, we have to give him a nice name...” he pouts even harder, reaching for
Jungkook’s forearm. “Like... he’s yellow so it could be Simba, huh? It’s a good name, right?”
Jungkook stares, eyebrow raised, lips tugged down in a frown. A meow makes him look back
down and he sighs. “Ok, but—”
“Thanks!” Taehyung smiles. “You’re the best.” Jungkook goes cross-eyed as he follows
Taehyung’s lips and it takes him a second to register the kiss left on the bridge of his nose.
If he blushes, he doesn’t realize. Neither does Taehyung, who simply goes back to the cat to pick it
up before disappearing with him into the kitchen. Jungkook looks back at Moon, hands on his hips.
She whines. “Now what have we gotten ourselves into...”
│►
“Make room for us…” Taehyung says as he comes into the living room with a bowl of popcorn in
one hand and Simba in the other.
“Room for you, always, for that little rat, might be a problem.” Taehyung places Simba on the
couch to be able to slap Jungkook’s thigh, even if with little to no strength. Jungkook chuckles.
“Shut up.” he mumbles as he settles himself next to the older man, the bowl of popcorn between
them. Moon looks up from the floor but quickly goes back to sleep. Taehyung waits as Jungkook
finishes sending a text, fiddling with his own fingers. “Hyung?” he calls. “I have to tell you
something…” Jungkook looks up from his phone, locking it right away to be able to pay full
attention to what Taehyung has to say.
“Is this about whatever happened yesterday at the grocery store?” Taehyung raises his eyebrows,
surprised at the mention. “C’mon, you know that I’m not stupid, you didn’t even go pee when we
arrived. What happened there?” he encourages.
Taehyung bends one of his legs over the couch so that he can rest his chin on top of it, pouting just
slightly. “I saw… I saw him, hyung. He was there.” he whispers.
“Him?” he tilts his head before going stiff and sitting up straight. “Hyungsik? Do you mean
Hyungsik?” Taehyung nods. “What happened? What did he say? Did he do something? Why did
you look so scared? Why—” Jungkook stops, knowing just how much he’d hate those questions if
he were in Taehyung’s place. “I’m sorry, just tell me about it. If you want to, of course.”
Taehyung smiles, pure adoration in his eyes. Jungkook’s the most thoughtful person that he’s ever
met in his life. “He just…” a pause. “He asked where I’m staying and when will I go back to him…
because it’s obvious to him that I will be back since—” he raises his hand to show the engagement
ring with a defeated sigh.
“Can I… ask what you told him?”
“I said that I’m living with you… and said that I won’t go back to him. Then he started saying that
I’d end up with him again either way and I just— His words were getting too much, I had to leave.”
Taehyung almost whispers. “But… But I had to almost fight myself at first not to just, I don’t
know, embrace him. I wanted to do it so badly, despite knowing that I shouldn’t.”
Jungkook nods. “It’s ok. That’s normal… we already knew that you wouldn’t stop loving him from
day to night and it’s just been about two weeks, it’s normal and expected that you’re still affected
by his presence.” Taehyung runs a hand through his hair, eyes watering. “Tae, look at me.” he
places a hand on Taehyung’s thigh, squeezing it reassuringly. “You can tell me whatever it is, I’ll
understand it. If I don’t, I’ll still be here either way. You don’t have to keep these things to
yourself, ok? You’ll never have to bottle it up as long as I’m here.”
“I know that I can tell you everything, you can too, and thank you but I feel so stupid. Your words
were what made me step back, what if you weren’t here? Telling me all the things that you told
me? Would I have gone with him? That’s what made me feel too embarrassed to tell you.”
Taehyung almost yelps as he’s pulled into Jungkook’s chest, a hand resting carefully on the back
of his head, fingers slowly threading through the blonde hair. “What matters is that you’re ok and
that you made the right decision. What got you to make that decision, doesn’t matter. You did it
and I’m proud of you, so forget everything bad that you may be thinking.” Jungkook helps him sit
up, changing their position so that Taehyung is sitting between his legs, head still laying against his
chest. “Now, what are we watching?”
Taehyung smiles, relaxing in the other’s arms as Jungkook’s fingers go up and down ever so
slowly on his arm; calming and reassuring. “The way that you got so upset over Titanic makes me
want to watch more classic childhood movies because I have a feeling that you’re that guy that has
never watched anything.” he starts.
“Listen, I had a younger sister, the only movies that I was forced to watch every day were the
Barbie ones. If she felt like it, then Nemo.” Taehyung giggles, taking a piece of popcorn from the
bowl.
“My sister made me watch them too. In their defense, the Barbie movies weren’t bad.” Jungkook
hums in agreement, grabbing Taehyung’s wrist to guide his hand to his own mouth instead, in
order to steal the popcorn. “You—”
“Sorry, I had to take that one, looked so appetizing. That one specifically.” he explains.
“Right, right, makes sense.” Taehyung nods. “What about Harry Potter?” he suggests, looking up
from Jungkook’s chest, only to see him biting down on his bottom lip. “Have you seen it?”
“I’ve never watched any of the movies.”
“Wow. Just wow, hyung. You’re not leaving this couch for the next few hours.” Jungkook smiles
at that. “I feel like you will figure everything out but whatever.” he mumbles as he types the title
on the laptop. “You’re kind of annoyingly smart.”
“Hm, thanks. And as long as it doesn’t make me question my existence like Titanic did— oh my
fuck, get that thing away from me.” Jungkook points to the approaching cat, getting a giggle out of
the younger man, who simply places him on his own lap. “I feel like I could puke.”
“Shut up…! It’s just a kitten, let’s watch the damn movie.” he rests his head back on Jungkook’s
chest. “No more hate towards Simba.”
“Only hate towards—”
“Gosh, I hate you.” Jungkook laughs.
“No, you don’t.” and he’s right. He really doesn’t.
│►
“She’s such a bitch.” Jungkook says halfway through the second movie, arm around Taehyung’s
shoulders and hand resting over the younger’s chest after having stopped caressing his arm.
“Whom?” Taehyung turns slightly to him, confused. Jungkook scoffs.
“Hermione, who else.” he points. “She keeps trying to be better than everyone else and the way
that she’s treating that dude Ron? Hell the fuck no. I don’t like her one bit. And my boy Ron
deserves way better.” Taehyung laughs, his body shaking against Jungkook’s chest.
“She’s nice! What do you even mean, she’s the main character.” he defends with another laugh.
“So?” Jungkook frowns. “I don’t like Harry either but she’s… worse. I like Malfoy, though.” he
finishes with a shrug of the shoulders. Taehyung gasps, loud, twisting between his legs to face him
properly. He looks offended and Jungkook has to keep himself from laughing.
“You what— no, leave, get off of me.” the younger tries to scoot away but Jungkook’s arms pull
him back, both falling even further into the couch. “You like Malfoy and hate Hermione, that
means no cuddles for you, mister, get off.”
“But I want cuddles…!” Jungkook forces out a whine. “I like Ron, that has to mean something.”
“You’re both the best and the worst person to watch movies with.” he gives up on trying to fight
Jungkook’s arms, falling back down. Jungkook’s arms don’t go away, though, they stay just like
that, wrapped around Taehyung’s torso. They find that it’s not uncomfortable in the slightest.
“I mean… it’s only the second movie, my opinions may change.” Jungkook comments, one hand
digging in the bow of popcorn, taking one to the younger’s lips. Taehyung munches with a pout.
“Just shut up, I can’t believe that you really hate my favorite character, this is really sad.” he
deflates, melting even more into Jungkook’s warmth. “It’s been years since I’ve spent this long just
relaxing and watching movies, it’s so nice. I’m enjoying this a lot.”
“I don’t think that I’ve ever done it. Sure, I watch movies with my friends, but not like this. I can’t
believe that I’m twenty-seven and I’m saying shit like this, it’s so embarrassing.” he cringes.
“I’m twenty-five and I’m saying this too so we’re both embarrassing then. I don’t accept any kind
of answer.” Jungkook hums then, eyes focused on the movie yet again, his fingers lazily drawing
circles over Taehyung’s soft stomach. “Should we just order pizza for dinner…?” Taehyung
suggests, stomach growling despite all of the popcorn that they’ve both eaten already.
“As long as you get up to open the door. I’m connected to the couch until tomorrow.” he mumbles,
pulling Taehyung even closer.
“You’re older than me, you should—”
“Exactly, I’m old and tired. It’s a clear indicator that I must stay seated while you get the pizza
from the door. Sounds good?” Jungkook laughs at the small huff that Taehyung lets out, pressing a
sweet kiss to the crown of his head.
“I’ll open the door but you have to pet Simba while I’m gone. Sounds good?” he smiles.
Jungkook squints. “Sounds like I’m going to open the door myself.”
“Thank you, hyungie, always so willing to do stu—” he’s positively interrupted by another popcorn
being shoved into his mouth. It makes him laugh. Jungkook always makes him laugh so much. He
makes him happy. Really happy.
│►
Jimin sighs, shoulders aching with tiredness, wanting nothing but to just lay down and forget such
a long day of stressful meetings. His feet stop once he notices the red rose petals on the floor,
welcoming and guiding him into the living room. “Hobi…?” he calls out, confused.
No answer, so he follows the trail.
“Oh my God.” Jimin gasps. “Hobi, oh my God.” he covers his mouth with both of his hands,
Hoseok smiling with a little box, holding himself up on just one knee. “What’s happening?”
“So… my plan to make you believe that I wanted to be proposed to has worked perfectly and this
wait was more than worthy as that expression of yours was just… perfect.” Hoseok starts.
“What— What do you mean—”
“I’ve been wanting to propose but everything in life was so hectic and Tae was going through a lot
but now… we’re all at peace, aren’t we? Or at least we’re close to it. In the kitchen, there’s a long
dinner and candles for us to enjoy, relax and hopefully do so with no other concerns and an
engagement ring around our fingers. But now I’ll ask, considering that you’re the love of my life
and the one that I want here now and always, will you marry me?” Jimin lets out a loud squeak,
pulling his boyfriend up by the arm.
“Yes, a hundred percent yes!”
│►
Chapter End Notes

On Twitter I'm known for my love for angst so... don't expect my fluff moments to last
long heheheh
Let's discuss...
◄│ 25 │►
Chapter Notes
Taehyung groans as he stretches his arms open, the bones in his back cracking deliciously. He
looks around with a little pout, searching for the small cat that fell asleep next to him. Much to his
dismay, Simba is not there and neither is Moon, but he rarely wakes up to her anyway, the dog
preferring to sleep with Jungkook every single night. Very loyal, she is.
He leaves the bed soon after and he’s scratching his stomach with his other hand resting on his hip
when he gets to the living room and his eyebrows shoot up immediately. Jungkook’s watching
television with the small animal laying on his stomach, Moon resting on the floor next to the
couch. Jungkook’s hand is going back and forth on Simba’s fur and Taehyung’s really grateful that
he was able to catch him in the act.
Taehyung fakes a cough. Jungkook’s quick to put the cat on the couch, crossing his arms over his
stomach. “So…” Taehyung starts with a smile. “You were cuddling Simba, huh?”
“No, I was not.” Jungkook denies. “I woke up with that thing biting and pulling on my earrings, I
didn’t want to touch it and that’s why I didn’t put him… her… whatever, down.” he explains
without even looking back at the blonde, eyes still focused on the television.
“You just picked him up, though.” Taehyung giggles. “Also, get up, we must eat breakfast to go
over to the supermarket to buy things for him.” he instructs, tapping Jungkook’s bent knee.
“I’m sorry, did you really just tell me to get up from this couch and leave the house, not only on my
day off, but also on a Saturday?” Jungkook laughs, melting even more into the couch. “That was a
really funny joke, you’re so funny, you’d be a really successful come—”
Taehyung interrupts with a tsk. “C’mon…! We don’t have cat food and we can’t keep feeding him
milk, he’s too big for that, he needs proper nutrients.” Taehyung approaches the couch again,
poking Jungkook’s stomach with one slender finger. Twice.
“We can always not feed the rat.” he suggests, twisting away from the finger. “Stop it! I’m very
ticklish, get that finger away from me.” Jungkook says through a strained laugh. Taehyung doesn’t
fail to notice how his smile looks so bright despite everything. Jungkook’s smile has always been
very pretty, he remembers thinking the same thing in high school. It hasn’t changed.
There’s something insanely pure about his smile remaining the same through everything.
“Stop calling him rat…!” Taehyung whines. “Hyungie, please, you have to come with me… pretty
please.” Jungkook doesn’t move a single muscle. Taehyung frowns even further.
“What if Moon tries to eat him suddenly? I should be home to… you know, keep an eye on them
or whatever.” Jungkook tries, stretching his arms. The crack is beyond delicious. “Hm… That felt
so good— Yes, I’ll stay here. I’ll watch the kids, while my husband shops for the fam—”
He lets out a little huff, his joke cut halfway through, as Taehyung drops his weight on top of him,
using his chest as a firm pillow. “I won’t leave unless you agree to go with me to the supermarket.”
he threatens, trying to sound scary, but Jungkook snorts.
“Feel free to stay here, then.” Taehyung looks up with a frown and, though he doesn’t mind the
way Jungkook’s arms hold him so that he doesn’t fall, his plans for the morning are different.
“No, c’mon, c’mon…!” Jungkook’s cheeks turn into a nice shade of pink when Taehyung presses
an innocent kiss to the side of his neck, where his face hides just seconds after.
“Why would I get out of the couch on a Saturday that I have off for that ugly thing?” he asks then,
one of his hands lifting to the back of Taehyung’s head, fingers disappearing within the blonde
locks as he threads them through it in some sort of comforting massage.
“Do you really hate him that much? I can find someone to keep him, really, this is your place and I
don’t want you to be uncomfortable because I decided to bring a cat in. I’m sure that Jiminie and
Hoseok will take him if I offer...” he places both of his hands flat on Jungkook’s chest, resting his
chin on top of them to look up at the older man with big eyes.
Jungkook is silent for a second, frown increasing. Then he sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose in
forged annoyance. “We can keep him because you like the thing, but if he wakes me up again
trying to bite my piercings off, I’ll roast him for dinner.” Taehyung laughs, shaking his head.
“Shut up, you could never hurt a living being.” he says then, pulling himself up, which grants him
another huff from the man underneath. “Get up, c’mon, you’re coming with me.”
“No…!” Taehyung grabs his hands, pulling his arm up. “Are you trying to carry me?” Jungkook
chuckles, highly amused. He knows that he’s heavy and that Taehyung doesn’t work out, so the
combination of the two isn’t exactly a good match.
“Kind of. I’m just trying to get you to sit up first.” he gives another pull, successfully getting his
housemate to sit up. “Now come, I’ll even make you breakfast.”
“Give me a foot rub and maybe we can think about it, hm?” Jungkook smiles. “It’s a nice offer.”
“I’ll give you a shoulder massage once we get back and that’s it.” Taehyung crosses his arms.
“Give me a shoulder massage every day for the rest of the next week. Final offer, take it or leave
it, Taehyungie.” Taehyung raises an eyebrow as he tilts his head to the side, deciding that he can
take it, it’s not a bad deal and doesn’t involve massaging anyone’s feet.
“Okay, that’s a deal.” he offers a hand.
Jungkook cackles as he takes it. “Pleasure doing business with you.”
Taehyung giggles. “Likewise. Now come, you’re cooking.”
“But you said—”
│►
“Can you pick the food? Since you handle Moon’s food, you must know which ones are better and
all.” Jungkook gives him a short nod that still has his hair bouncing slightly. “I’ll be picking some
toys while you choose the food.” he informs but there’s a chuckle as soon as he turns around so he
faces Jungkook again. “What?”
“Who buys toys for cats? He’s never even going to look at them, they don’t play.” Jungkook asks
and Taehyung pouts, a little frown marking his features. Jungkook nods “Sure, some toys for the
cat, you should get some toys for the… cat.” he quickly agrees with the idea, smiling.
“Exactly. Pick the best food, don’t really uh, look at the price, just judge it by quality.” he asks.
“Cheese should always be a good choice for a r—” Taehyung pushes his shoulder with little to no
strength, both laughing. “I’ll find something, I’ll meet you in a second.” the elder leaves him to
pick the food and Taehyung continues walking down the aisle, pushing the shopping cart so that he
can go find some toys and maybe a little bed.
They have already picked both the litter box and the litter itself, as well as some snacks for
themselves, so they’re already picking the last few things: food and toys.
He grabs some toys that he finds more appropriate for a cat, throwing all of the items into the cart,
rather excited with the thought of having another pet around them. He loves Moon dearly but even
her should have some company. She’s always alone when they’re at work.
He’s checking one last toy when he hears steps getting close to him. “Did you pick the f—” he
stops then. It’s not Jungkook as he was expecting it to be. Instead, he’s met with his ex-fiancé
standing with his chin held high, chest puffed out. “Are you… following me now?” he asks.
“You do know that this is a supermarket, right? Since I have to buy things on my own, it’s not that
odd that we, yet again, are crossing paths here.” Hyungsik explains, nonchalantly. “I’m just
wondering when you’re going to drop the whole strong-act and come back home.”
“You— You don’t actually want me there.” Taehyung whispers. “You’re just trying to mess with
me because you know how I care so much for you.” he takes a step back. “You can’t continue
doing this to me… you don’t want me and you can’t continue playing with me, you can’t.”
“Of course I want you, baby.” he takes a step closer. “You know that I love you.” Hyungsik raises
his hand to place it on the side of Taehyung’s cheek, smiling. Taehyung gasps slightly.
“You said that you don’t. When we broke up, you said— why are you lying?” he whispers, leaning
away from the touch and pushing Hyungsik’s hand away. That only gets the same hand gripping
his forearm, hold a little too harsh now. Taehyung tries to pull away, doesn’t want to stay there.
“I don’t like the fact that you’re talking back—”
Taehyung furrows his eyebrows. “You’re hurting me—”
“Who the fuck do you think that you are to talk to me like this?” Hyungsik steps closer, hand
closing up around Taehyung’s wrist instead of his forearm. “Are you forgetting your place? We
need to get back to what we had, I need the stability, I’m going fucking insane.”
Taehyung’s eyes go a little wider. Hyungsik cares that much? Needs him that much?
“Sik, I—” he gulps, eyeing his wrist. “You’re hurting me again, please let go.” Taehyung whispers.
Meanwhile, Jungkook settles for one of the bags out of the five that he’s read, grabbing two of the
same kind to take to the cart. He walks with a little smile, not enough for it to look neither creepy
nor weird. Though it quickly falls when he turns into the toys aisle.
He immediately begins walking faster to catch up to the both of them, putting the bags of food in
the cart to be able to place a hand on Hyungsik’s forearm, effectively pulling the hand away from
Taehyung’s wrist and freeing him from the iron grip.
“What do you want?” he asks then, taking a step closer and therefore shielding Taehyung from his
ex-fiancé by standing between them. Hyungsik doesn’t answer, only eyes them. “I asked you what
the fuck do you want.” Jungkook repeats and Taehyung doesn’t fail to notice how different his tone
sounds compared to when he’s talking to him. Jungkook’s always so sweet and soft-spoken; this
isn’t the case at all. He sounds intimidating like this.
“Of course, the bodyguard had to be here.” Hyungsik scoffs. “Can you leave us alone? We were
having a conversation before your brute-ass self came in and ruined it.” he gestures with a hand for
him to leave but Jungkook stands his ground.
“No, I can’t leave you two alone, but you better do that. I was serious when I said what I said back
in your place.” Jungkook turns to the blonde male, whose eyes stare blankly at his shirt and he
places a hand on Taehyung’s back, guiding him to walk away.
“We all know that he will end up with me again. It’s just a matter of time.” they hear, followed by
a disgusting chuckle that has Jungkook biting down on his own teeth to keep quiet.
“Do you want to head to the car?” the elder asks. Taehyung nods frantically as he grabs his wallet
to take out his main credit card. “What are you doing?” Jungkook furrows his eyebrows.
“Here, have it.” Taehyung grabs Jungkook’s hand to place the card on his in his palm. “The
password is the same as my phone’s, I’ll head to the car.” he says hurriedly, looking back to make
sure that Hyungsik hasn’t followed them. He doesn’t want to talk to him anymore.
Jungkook just stares, eyes on the card in his hand. Truth be said, he wouldn’t have enough in his
bank account to pay for all the unnecessary toys in the cart, but using Taehyung’s like this feels a
little weird. A little too personal, maybe. It’s not necessarily a bad weird.
It gives him an oddly warm feeling that he can’t exactly comprehend. He doesn’t have time to
dwell on it, either way, as the cashier is smiling with a good morning spilling from her lips soon
after. He has to get out of there faster than Hyungsik.
And he’s happy to conclude that he’s able to leave before he sees the man passing the entrance
door, so he assumes that Hyungsik hasn’t left yet. He almost runs to the car after wishing the
cashier a good day. He wishes he’d cross paths with Hyungsik, maybe he could trip him.
Jungkook knocks softly on the window as Taehyung sits on the passenger seat, enough of an
indicator that he wants Jungkook to drive instead. Taehyung jumps in place, startled, but relaxes
the second that he realizes that it’s Jungkook. He leans towards the driver’s door, unlocking it.
“Hey, are you ok?” Jungkook asks, throwing the bags carefully to the back seats. “Did he hurt
you?” he sits himself behind the wheel, closing the door to give space to the silence. “Tae?” he
calls again after a few seconds, softer. “Did he hurt you? You can tell me. Did he?”
“I don’t— I don’t think so.” Taehyung says then. “Just my wrist… a bit. I bruise easily so…” they
both look down at it, the skin a little red where Hyungsik’s fingers were pressed. “I’m sorry that
this happened, I just wanted— I just wanted to buy Simba’s things…”
“Don’t apologize. There’s nothing for you to apologize for.” Jungkook whispers the last part, his
fingers wrapping carefully around Taehyung’s wrist to take it up to his lips. He places a gentle kiss
on top of the red marks. “We should go, yeah? Shall we go home?”
“Yeah.” Taehyung says, barely audible. He bites the inside of his cheek as Jungkook lets go of his
wrist for a second to turn the car on but goes back to massage Taehyung’s skin right away. The
automatic gears make it possible for him not to have to take his hand away and be able to rest it
alongside Taehyung’s forearm on top of the aforementioned’s thighs.
Jungkook turns on the radio, albeit not too loudly, trying to make Taehyung more comfortable.
“Hyung?” Taehyung calls. “Do you think… Do you think that maybe he’s following me or
something? It’s the second time that this happens and our— his apartment isn’t that close. I don’t
want to see him again… Do you think that it’s possible…?”
“Following you?” he looks away from the road at a red light, his fingers still around Taehyung’s
wrist. “I don’t know, he’s weird… if he set himself for it then maybe, and I wouldn’t be surprised
but… I don’t know. I’m sorry, Tae, I don’t have an answer, I really don’t know.”
Taehyung gulps. “I hate that when I see him, I just want to apologize for leaving and I wish to get
back what we had…” he admits. Jungkook’s hand slips lower to link with his own, their fingers
intertwining at their own will. It’s automatic, they’re already used to it by now. “He said he’s going
crazy… I’m scared that he’s just going to follow me now, it didn’t even sound like him.”
“This has always been him, you just didn’t see it.” Jungkook sighs. “Either way, I’m here to tell
him to fuck off and I will do exactly that whenever you need me to. Maybe he’s right, I a m your
bodyguard… a hot one, though. I’m the attractive bodyguard.” he jokes, mirroring the smile that he
sees take over Taehyung’s lips. “I’m here to put him in his place. I mean it.”
“Thank you…” Taehyung whispers.
“Let’s just get home to put some ice on your wrist since you bruise so quickly, it may help to
prevent it.” Jungkook half-smiles, squeezing Taehyung’s hand. “You’re tense, we must hurry.”
“I’m ok…” he lies. It’s a rather obvious lie.
“I know that it’s hard for you to see him, you don’t need to lie to me. Honest with each other at all
times, remember?” Taehyung only grips his hand tighter and gives him a little nod. Silence settles
between the two, only interrupted by the music on the radio.
It’s comfortable. It’s always comfortable when they’re alone.
│►
Jungkook pulls the freezer open, grabbing the first bag of frozen food that he sees which, in this
case, is a bag of frozen peas. Moon follows him back to the living room where Taehyung sits with
little Simba next to him. “Give me your wrist.” he asks as he sits down, placing Taehyung’s
forearm on his thighs before gently placing the bag on his skin. “You do bruise like a peach, has
your skin always been like this? Or do you have something?”
“No, I’ve always been like this… for some reason.” Taehyung shrugs, eyes focused on the careful
way that Jungkook’s fingers work on his wrist. He’s always so gentle, so careful.
“So… in high school…?” he starts with a weak voice, their eyes meeting then. “Did you ever— I
mean, did I uh…” Jungkook gulps. “Have I ever marked you? Even if not directly…? The guys—”
“Does it matter? I was fifteen.” Jungkook opens his mouth to speak but the doorbell effectively
shuts him up. Taehyung’s eyes grow bigger. “Do you think—?”
“Hold on.” he says, placing Taehyung’s arm on his own thigh so that he can get up. They both stay
silent as Jungkook walks over to the door, looking through the peephole. His shoulders relax. “It’s
just Jimin.” Jungkook informs as he pulls the door open. “Hey.” he greets.
“Good morning, hyung.” Jimin smiles, though it slowly falls when he turns to his best friend. “Are
you alright…?” he immediately asks, eyeing the frozen pack of peas. “Are you hurt? Are you ok?”
“I am, I just… hurt myself.” Jimin sits down, looking over at Jungkook with a questioning look.
Accusing.
Jungkook scoffs. “Don’t you dare.” he says. “Don’t you dare to look at me like that, I’d never do
anything.” Taehyung blinks, catching up to what Jimin is thinking, and it feels almost surreal that
someone would think such a thing. Jungkook is the most careful with him. How could Jimin think
of such a thing? Maybe Jimin just doesn’t know Jungkook well enough.
“I’m just worried for my best friend, I know that you wouldn’t… I just— ” Jimin gulps. “I have
such good news, can we not get all sad? I didn’t mean to offend you, I promise, if there’s someone
that I trust my Taehyungie with, is you, it was unconscious. I’m sorry.”
Jungkook sighs, sitting down on the center table in front of them. “What news do you have? It
better be good.” Jimin squeals, lifting his left hand to show off his ring. They both take a second to
process it but soon enough Taehyung is discarding the cold pack to hug him. “Shit, finally.”
“Was it yesterday?” Taehyung asks as he pulls away from the hug, a huge grin on his lips.
“Yeah, it was. I got home after work and there were rose petals all over the floor… he made dinner
for us with candles and all that romantic stuff. It was so cute, I cried for like, ten minutes or more, I
can’t even tell you for sure. I’m so happy.” he says, eyes growing more and more watery with each
added word. “He even did a little speech and all.”
Taehyung looks down at his lap. His own proposal was nothing like this. He doesn’t have a story
to tell or a speech to remember. Nothing. It was a simple agreement that they both made
concluding that, ok, they should get married. Nothing else, nothing romantic, nothing sweet.
His eyes catch his own ring as Jimin and Jungkook continue talking about the engagement. His
own didn’t have any spark. Hyungsik didn’t want it and Taehyung was the only one trying to make
their relationship work. He can see that now.
Hyungsik didn’t want anything from him; only the money, the power, the control, and it sucks to
finally fully acknowledge such a thing when he was head over heels for the man for two years.
“Oh my God— is that a kitten?!”
│►
Taehyung knocks on the bathroom door, resting his forehead against it. “Hyung?” he calls with a
small gulp following suit. He’s a little hesitant, doesn’t know whether he wants Jungkook to have
heard or not, but the sane and bigger part of himself hopes that he did.
“Just a second.” Jungkook says and there’s some rustling before the door is pulled open, the older
man standing there with nothing but a towel hanging loose on his hips. If Taehyung looks at the
drops of water going down his abdomen, neither of them acknowledges it. “Do you need
something? Is everything ok, Tae?” he asks then, a hand rubbing off his long hair with a smaller
tower. “You look a little down, what’s wrong?”
“I want to do something.” Taehyung says, inhaling sharply. Jungkook raises a brow, positively
confused, and throwing the towel around his shoulders so that he can cross his arms.
“What is it?” the blonde raises his hand, fingers shaking slightly as he pulls his engagement ring
off of his slender finger. Jungkook seems to get it right away. “Tae—”
“Please. Trash it. I can’t— I can’t do it myself.” his voice turns weaker by the end but he still
hands it over, Jungkook opening his hand to accept it. “The way that Jimin talked about it… the
bond that they have— Their engagement is… is what an engagement should be.”
Jungkook stares at the ring on his palm in silence.
“The happiness that they always have when they’re together is something that Sik and I didn’t have
and never had. I see that now. Please throw the ring away, I want it gone, it’s time to take it off.”
he whispers at the end, looking down.
“I’m so proud of you, Tae. It’s ok to still be attached to him, it’s been what? Two weeks?” he takes
a step closer. “It will get better, you’re taking a huge step by doing this. Huge.”
“I just feel like crying again.” Taehyung closes his eyes, exhaling sharply again.
“I’m in a towel but can I hug you?” the blonde immediately nods, being the one to close the space
between them and bury his face in the crook of Jungkook’s neck. “It’s ok, peach.”
“Peach?” he sniffs, inhaling the fruity aroma from the sweet-scented body wash that Jungkook
seems to love using. “That’s a new one.” Taehyung smiles.
Jungkook chuckles, rubbing reassuring circles on the other’s back. “You bruise like one and it
sounds cute so… I just went with it.” a shrug. Taehyung pulls away, his hands still on Jungkook’s
hips, carefully prying them away as he doesn’t want to accidentally knock down the towel. That
would be an awkward moment.
Jungkook’s hand caresses his cheek softly and his eyes fall to Taehyung’s lips which, even if the
blonde doesn’t notice, he does. He furrows his eyebrows. Why did he just do that?
“I’ll finish drying off and getting dressed.” Jungkook pulls away. “I can meet you once I’m done
trashing the ring.” Taehyung nods, sniffing once again. Still, even through his tears, he smiles
softly when the older man leans in to kiss his cheek.
It’s a long kiss, lasting for a full heartbeat and it does definitely warm his chest.
“I’ll go over some work things in the meantime…” he steps back. “I’ll wait for you.”
“Hey, Tae.” Jungkook calls before he has the chance to walk away. “I’m really proud of you.” he
says, certain, one hand resting on the top part of the doorframe. He looks like a model.
Taehyung smiles. He’s proud of himself too. For once.
“Thank you, hyung.” he whispers. “Can you hurry? I want cuddles…”
Jungkook hums. “That’s my expertise. I shall be there in ten minutes.”
“Make it five.” he pouts.
“Hm, four just for that.” Taehyung giggles. Jungkook smiles.
Yeah, they always know how to help each other feel better.
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 26 │►
Chapter Notes
Taehyung moves the computer’s mouse to get it to turn back on, resting his elbow on the desk so
that he can see who’s the next patient of the day. His head tilts to the side when he sees an all too
familiar name and it makes him chuckle slightly. They’re together every day so Jungkook going to
the clinic is nothing but a waste of money, both on the bus and on the session itself.
He gets the small notepad where he keeps all of his notes, quickly writing down what he has
learned from the most recent nightmare: Jungkook has a sister who’s younger by three years and is
called Mya. He rests back on his chair while staring down at the notes, trying to piece them
together. It feels impossible. It’s hard not knowing where Jungkook’s family is.
He hasn’t got a clue. He does know that Jungkook’s dad was — is? — a terrible person, but is he
still living with the other two? Is the sister still living in such an abusive household? Has she
moved after coming out of age? Was Jungkook kicked out or did he run away from home? Did they
even have a home? How is Jungkook’s mother doing and why hasn’t he helped her leave?
Jungkook is still a big enigma. He has told so much yet Taehyung still knows nothing about him.
Two knocks on the door have him sitting up straight, notes still in his hands. “Can I?” he hears his
friend’s voice coming and, in seconds, he gets up with a smile. “It’s weird to see you in here
now… since we live together.” Jungkook comments.
“I know, it’s odd. Come in, of course, come in.” Taehyung gestures him in, both walking over to
the couches. “I think that we’ve messed up the line between friends and therapist-patient to a point
beyond repair. It feels weird being here now.” he says as he sits down.
“We would never be friends right now if we hadn’t started from a simple therapist-patient
relationship. We may live together and be friends, but you’re still my therapist and honestly the
person I trust and confide in the most. No matter how messed up that line is, I’m happy with
whatever we have.” Jungkook says, genuine. “Who cares about the line, anyway… I’m happy.”
“I’m happy too.” Taehyung immediately agrees. “I’m... I’m actually so thankful for you.” he says
as he looks down, a little shy. “You’re my own therapist and you’re genuinely just becoming my
best friend. I can talk to you about everything… it’s relieving and relaxing.”
Jungkook smiles at that. “I try to help so I’m glad that you trust me as much as I trust you... and
I’m extremely thankful for you too.” he worries at his bottom lip. “Wow, this turned so damn
sappy all of a sudden, what’s going on right now...” he asks, rhetorically. Taehyung giggles.
“We’re just being honest, which is good. You know our friendship motto, honest with each other
and all.” the therapist points out with a smile. “But let’s now get to what matters, what do you want
to share today, hyung?”
The older man looks away, seemingly in thought. The crease between his eyebrows comes through
as he gulps. “Would you be upset if I said that I don’t want to share anything? You know about my
sister and all… everything else would be too invasive and I’m not ready. I trust you a lot, but I have
never talked about these things, it’s just— it’s hard. I’m hesitant and— scared.”
“Hey, you know that it’s ok not to share, we can talk about literally anything else.” Taehyung
smiles. “Do you reckon that we should start doing this at home, though? You shouldn’t have to
pay for sessions when we live together, it’s a hassle that you can avoid, hyung.”
“But it’s your job… you should get paid for it.” Jungkook frowns.
He doesn’t want to seem like he’s using Taehyung in any way.
“My job is to listen to you and help you, and we do that for each other for free every day so why
can’t I just sit down with you at home and listen to what you want to share?” Taehyung offers with
a genuine smile. “I enjoy talking to you, wherever we do it, isn’t an issue for me.”
“If you’re sure about it, then I’ll take it. There’s nothing better than the comfort of my home…”
“It’s already a done deal, then. Moving forward with our session, if you don’t want to share today
then I’ll just ask you where will you have lunch, because I’m meeting Jiminie and you can join if
you’d like to, we always enjoy having your company.” he invites.
“Nice and tempting offer, but Yoongi and Jin are coming over for lunch. I hope that you don’t
mind them going there.” he leans a little into the center. “It’s your place too, after all.”
“Don’t even think about asking me for permission, it’s your apartment.” Taehyung is quick to
reassure. “Maybe I’ll even meet Yoongi if they’re still there when I arrive, I haven’t had the chance
to meet him yet… he seems really nice from what I’ve heard from you.”
“Oh, that’d be so nice.” Jungkook smiles, relaxing. Talking to Taehyung is relaxing.
He loves talking to Taehyung, even when he’s not sharing. He feels so comfortable. He doesn’t
think that he’s ever had someone that he trusts as much as he trusts Taehyung. His best friends are
so close to him and hold such an important place in his heart and, still, Taehyung is completely
different. He can’t totally pinpoint why this is.
Dares he say that Taehyung is his deepest, most real best friend. The one that he can tell everything
and not be afraid of being judged or misunderstood. Even if they end up drifting away at some
point — which he’s sure won’t be happening — he’ll forever be grateful for meeting and seeing
Taehyung again after so many years.
Thankfully, the best thing to happen to him.
“…and so please just kiss Simba for me when you get home.” Taehyung says and he rolls his eyes
with a little smile, not even realizing just how lost in his thought he got suddenly, looking at his
friend with pure adoration and respect.
“Absolutely not.” he says.
Taehyung tsks. “What a menace.”
“I’m a fucking delight to have, I’ll have you know.” Jungkook corrects, holding a finger up.
“With the cleanest mouth too.” his therapist adds.
Jungkook squints. “I must agree, I’ve never said a bad word in my fucking life.”
“Why am I even friends with you…”
│►
Jungkook hums a random song at the back of his throat, pushing the door open to the already
barking dog. “Hey, baby.” he greets, crouching down to play with her for a few seconds before his
eyes register the newcomer. Simba runs on her little pays to join them, meowing at the best of her
abilities He raises his hand tentatively. “I guess you can get a brief caress too.” Jungkook ruffles
the space between her ears, watching as the small animal nuzzles more into his hand.
Ok.
Cats aren’t that bad.
Dogs are still way better, though.
He pulls himself up when he hears the doorbell and opens the door again. “Hey.” he greets. “I
literally just got home, you came in right on time.”
“We know that, we’ve been here for ten minutes already. We were just sitting on the sidewalk
waiting and we saw you walk through the parking lot.” Seokjin explains, messing Jungkook’s hair
up as he walks into the apartment. “I’m so hungry, we got pizza.” Yoongi comes in right behind
him, three large boxes in his arms. Jungkook’s mouth salivates.
He does love a good pizza.
“Oh my God, is that a cat?!” Yoongi asks, pushing the boxes of pizza to Jungkook’s chest, who
grabs them just in time for the other to kneel on the floor. “How do you have a kitten? You despise
cats, how did this happen?”
“I didn’t even notice that small little thing… Moon won’t be alone during the day now!” Seokjin
coos. “But yeah, how? That time when I talked about getting a cat you said that you’d never enter
my apartment again.” he points an accusing finger with a suspicious squint of the eyes.
“It’s not mine, it’s Tae’s. He found that thing crying in front of the building and he brought it up to
bathe it. He was way too happy for me to tell him to give the cat away.” they all walk to the
kitchen, Moon following suit as he tries to get a slice of pizza for herself.
“And you just have a cat now because Taehyung wanted it?” Seokjin and Yoongi share a knowing
look that goes unnoticed by the other man in the room, too distracted by the food.
“Well, yeah. We have to be accepting so that living together works out… and knowing how things
were with Hyungsik makes me go even easier on him, I don’t want Taehyung to ever feel like I’m
similar, in the slightest.” he explains as he sits down. “I’m not like Hyungsik, not even at the very
tip of my toenails. If he wants a cat, then he’ll have a cat and I’ll act like I like the thing.”
“You’re… whipped.” Yoongi accuses.
“I mean— in a way, I guess so. We’re here for each other at all times and his happiness and
wellbeing matter a lot to me, so I mean, you can say that, I won’t be offended or anything.” he
shrugs. “Oh, I’m also not going back to therapy again so you guys don’t have to continue paying
for it. And thank you so much for the sessions that you did buy, this meant the absolute world to
me and got me this amazing fucking experience and friendsh—”
“Wait, what? You’re not going to therapy anymore? But Jungkook, you should— it’s important
that you keep working on yourself… did you just, I mean, is it because you two are friends now or
something? We can get you another therapist, maybe. You can’t just drop it, it was doing you so
well.” Seokjin is quick to speak, swallowing the pizza in his mouth in a hurry.
“Thanks for your concern, but I will still have my therapist with me anyway. We agreed to just do
it here at home without me having to go there and pay for the sessions. I feel like it’s a good thing,
we’ll be more comfortable and we can talk whenever we want.” Jungkook smiles.
“Oh.” Yoongi nods. “That’s good… and maybe it will feel more personal and help you to ease
even more, that’s all that we want. Happy and healthy, and you’ve been looking very healthy as of
lately.” he compliments.
“Have I? I think that I’ve been gaining some weight, I never skip meals now and I don’t just have
ramen so… I’m gaining some weight. I don’t even feel as tired at the end of the way or after
working out… my body is actually getting food as it should.” he munches on the inside of his
cheek, smiling to himself. He just grabs another slice of pizza as a way to busy himself.
“Kooks… That’s so fucking good for you. You can’t imagine how happy that makes me. Gosh,
I’m so content right now.” Yoongi rubs at his eyes. “I want to meet him so bad, just to thank him.”
“Oh my God, don’t embarrass me, please.” both of his friends laugh at that. “I’m serious, he won’t
let me live it down. Also, you may get to meet him today if you two decide to stay here for long
enough. He’ll come home eventually.”
“Oh, shit, that’s right, he lives here. I’m definitely staying until he comes home.” silence settles for
a brief moment, something that none of them particularly enjoys when they’re together.
For that reason, Jungkook clears his throat and swallows the pizza in his mouth. “Can I tell you
guys something weird?” other two give him a nod. “Something really fucking weird happened, I
felt— I felt like I wanted to kiss Taehyung…? The other day…?” he shares, a little unsure.
Yoongi chokes on his soda.
Seokjin’s jaw falls.
“Uh…” Jungkook drags.
“Do you like Taehyung?” his friend asks.
“Yoongi— no, I don’t— are you crazy, he’s like, my best friend. Alongside you guys, of course. I
don’t like him, I don’t know what happened, it was so weird.” Jungkook tugs at his hair, pulling it
back, frustrated. “It was the weirdest thing ever, I seriously don’t— I don’t understand.”
Seokjin bites away a smile, immensely amused by the news but also not wanting to further stress
and frustrate Jungkook. “You just need to get laid, my friend.”
“Agreed.” Yoongi nods. “You’re probably just sexually frustrated.” Jungkook looks away, thinking
it through. Yes. That’s the only possible explanation for it. He truly hasn’t been with anyone in a
while, apart from that one time with Yun, so it sounds possible enough.
“On another news.” he changes the topic. “I think that Yugyeom and I may get a raise because one
of my coworkers quit. I’ll start taking whatever I get extra to pay you two back for the sessions and
literally everything else.” Jungkook smiles, turning out to be the only one doing so and he’s
confused. Aren’t they happy to hear the news?
“You’re not paying us for anything. We didn’t get you a therapist waiting for some payback, we
did it expecting you to feel better. That’s the only thing that we want for and from you, so keep the
money and spend it on yourself. But not in alcohol, please— yeah.”
Jungkook looks down.
Why does everyone keep mentioning alcohol?
“Yeah, okay, I just don’t want you two to feel like I’m using you or something… I already feel so
bad because— I mean, Tae’s paying for almost everything since my paycheck is fucking
embarrassing. I spend what I have on booze and, deep down, I know that he’s probably done with
that, but he doesn’t say anything so... I don’t know.” he sighs.
“You can’t assume such things since he’s never said them…” Seokjin shakes his head. “I hate that
you think so low of yourself, we all adore you, Kooks, we do things because we care for you.”
“I know, but I hate needing things. I hate not being able to provide things for myself. I hate the
situation I was in— who am I kidding, that I still am in. If Taehyung left, I’d immediately go back
to have zero bucks to my name, it’s just a big joke, it seems. He’ll probably grow tired of this.”
His best friends share a concerned look before Yoongi places a hand on his shoulder with a
reassuring smile. “Knowing you, being your friend, I know that it’s impossible to grow tired of you
and I also know— well, assume, that Taehyung wouldn’t have accepted to live with you if he
didn’t care as much as we do. Don’t stress about it, he won’t get tired of you or this.”
“I hope that you’re right. I rely on him… a lot…” he sighs. Maybe it’s all a bit rushed, but that’s
how it happened. They grew close really fast, yet it felt so smooth and natural. Felt so right.
“We know that you do. That’s so cute.” Seokjin says with a laugh and Jungkook frowns. “Don’t
look at me like that, your friendship is cute and you can’t change my mind.”
“That’s a weird way to describe it but I’ll take it.”
“Good. Eat your pizza and shut up.”
Jungkook scoffs. “Fuck off.” he says with no bite to his words. Seokjin just shows him his tongue.
│►
Taehyung struggles to balance everything with just one arm: the groceries, his bag and also the
three bags of clothes that he got while being out shopping with his two best friends. He fumbles
with the keys, trying his hardest to get it done, until he hears a little chuckle.
“Wait a moment...” soon enough, some of the bags are taken from his grasp and he rushes a line of
thank you’s as he closes the door. “You went shopping, did you have fun?”
“I did, yeah, we had a good time.” Taehyung smiles, still not used to having someone asking such
things. Hyungsik never cared. Ever. His eyes fall on the couch where he sees two other men, one of
them with Simba on his lap. “Oh, hello, I didn’t see you guys.” he immediately bows, polite.
“Hey.” they get up, bowing as well. “It’s nice seeing you in a different circumstance.” Seokjin
greets, fixing Taehyung with a big and friendly smile.
“Likewise. You’re Yoongi, if I’m assuming correctly—?” he turns to the shorter one of the four of
them, the one that he has never seen before, who looks somewhat intimidating yet extremely
adorable at the same time. Friendly enough.
“Yes, that’s me. We’ve heard so much about you, I’m happy that we’re finally meeting.” he
sounds even more friendly than he looked just some seconds prior, Taehyung notes. Jungkook
clears his throat, so they all turn to him questioningly.
“Give me just a second to put these bags away.” he says as he outstretches his arms in a silent
request for Taehyung to hand him the rest of the bags.
“Oh, I’ll take them, there’s no need—”
“It’s nothing, give me that, I’ll take them.” Taehyung pouts slightly, handing over everything
except his bag and Jungkook just smiles at them before walking to the hall.
Seokjin immediately grabs Taehyung’s hand to sit him down. “We want to thank you for
everything that you’ve been doing for our Jungkookie.” he starts, tone quiet. “He’s been so much
happier, healthier and just… he’s been getting so much better ever since you two first met, we
can’t thank you enough, Taehyung, we truly can’t.”
“You don’t even have to thank me at all… he does even more for me than I do for him. We’re
there for each other, there’s no need to thank me. At all.” Taehyung waves a dismissive hand with
a shy smile. “I’m the one who should be thanking him and not the other way around.”
“But Taehyung… you’re finally giving him a chance. He’s having another shot, you’re helping
him so much and— just thinking of the possibility of him stop drinking or just… being ok, means
the world to us. And that’s only possible because of you.” Yoongi goes on, voice low so that
Jungkook can’t hear them from the bedroom.
“I know that you two are friends now, but you’re still the reason why he’s getting better, you’re the
person that he trusts the most and—”
“Alright, I left the bags on the bed.” Jungkook announces as he returns through the hall. “Why the
sudden silence? Were you talking about me?” he narrows his eyes, suspicious.
“Nope, we were telling Taehyung that Simba is the cutest thing. After Moon, of course, she holds
an especial spot and always will.” Seokjin lifts a finger. “So let’s get to knowing each other a little
bit, we’re going to hang out often now that you live here, we should get comfortable.”
“That sounds good.” Taehyung smiles. “I’m twenty-five and a therapist, as you both know.”
“Twenty-seven, music teacher.” Yoongi introduces himself briefly as he picks Simba back up to
his lap. “He’s a lawyer, also twenty-seven.” he gestures towards Seokjin, who offers him a friendly
smile that Taehyung easily mirrors. Just like Jungkook said, they’re easy to talk to.
“My best friend is also a teacher, he complains about his students all the time. Are music students
less… irritating?” Yoongi tilts his head, giving it a thought. “He’s a math teacher, by the way.”
Taehyung adds.
“Oh, then it’s understandable that he has bad students. People in music are often passionate and
they’re all pretty cool, I’ve never had any problem with a student. I’m sure that Jin would have
funnier stories to tell.” they all turn to said man.
“I hope that you’re comfortable, he’ll never shut up if he starts talking about all of his bad clients.”
Jungkook whispers for him, right at the back of his ear; it’s paired with a chuckle, getting a giggle
back. Yoongi and Seokjin do their best not to smirk at how Jungkook’s arm rests around
Taehyung’s shoulders and at how they both lean into each other for comfort.
“I’m ready to hear it.” Taehyung says, not reacting to the hand that then starts going up and down
his arm, which proves to them that they’re used to this, this closeness, this kind of affection, and it
makes them want to coo and even tease them a bit, but hold back.
Jungkook forges a sigh. “Oh, here we go.”
Taehyung giggles, lightly slapping his thigh. “Be nice.” Jungkook just pouts.
Seokjin smirks. “Let’s get into it.”
│►
Taehyung puts another shirt in the drawer, turning to Jungkook, who’s carefully folding all of them
for him to store “I liked your friends.” he comments as he waits. Jungkook looks up with a smile,
handing him yet another shirt. “They’re nice and really funny, I like them.”
“I’m glad that you liked them, they come over a lot, so it’s really good that it won’t be a bother to
you.” Jungkook grabs a hoodie from the bag, tilting his head a bit, confused, before he starts to
fold it. “I’ve never seen you in hoodies, am I rubbing off on you?” he enquires.
Taehyung looks back from the drawers to check. “That one is for you.” Jungkook stills. “I looked
at it and it reminded me of you, so I got it, I hope that I got the number right… but I kept the
receipt, so we can get a number up or down if it’s the wrong one.”
The older man unfolds it again, seeing the brand’s logo on the left side of the chest area. “Thank
you for thinking of me, but you really didn’t have to. How much was this? It’s branded— You
didn’t have to, I have so many hoodies, you didn’t have to spend money on me like this.”
“I’m not saying the price, it’s a gift—” he stops when his eyes meet Jungkook’s and so he pouts
and nods. “It was like… sixty bucks? I’m not sure, it’s not important. What’s important is if it fits
you or not, and if it’s comfortable, as you like it already, so that’s one less concern.”
Jungkook stares at the piece of clothing, unblinking. Sixty bucks? On a hoodie? Jungkook wants to
scream. He could never spend so much on something like this. On anything, really. He just thanks
Taehyung again before folding it and handing it to the younger man to also put it in the closet. It’s
silent then, a comfortable kind of silence, broken by Moon licking herself while lying on the center
of the bed, Simba right next to her.
Jungkook can almost physically see Taehyung’s mind racing from the way he’s staring into the
wall while waiting for the folded clothes, but he decides not to press on it, knowing that, when
ready and if he wants to, Taehyung will speak without being pushed.
And soon he does, proving him right.
“Hyung?” Taehyung calls. “Can I… tell you something? I can’t really comprehend it on my own
and it’s weird so… you’re smarter than me, you’ll probably see a more logical explanation, I
believe.” he requests. “If you don’t mind, of course…”
“You can tell me anything, please go on.” Jungkook reassures, smiling warmly. “You don’t even
have to ask, really, just tell me. What is going on in that head of yours?”
“Okay… it’s just that uh, I had lunch with Jimin, right, and I— this will sound weird but I think
that I’m a little jealous…?” he almost asks, hesitant. Jungkook stops folding the shirt that he has in
his hands, tilting his head to the side, visibly confused. “It doesn’t make sense, I know.”
“Let’s not say that it doesn’t make sense this quickly, I’m sure that it does. What exactly are you
jealous of? Can you pinpoint?” Taehyung looks down. “Is it… of the engagement? I’m just
guessing so I may be wrong, but this is coming so suddenly after the news so… is that it?”
“Yeah… in a way, yeah. It’s just— he was telling me all about the plans that they’ve already
made, telling me about how they’re both so excited, and I feel weird. I was supposed to be married
by now and I don’t even have a partner anymore, I don’t have a fiancé, any type of relationship… I
just feel weird and alone.” Taehyung says with a rather shy voice, grabbing another folded shirt to
store and busy himself with, have something to look at instead.
“You’re not alone, Taehyung. No matter what happens, you’ll at least have me. Always.” he sits
down on the mattress, staring at Taehyung who’s kneeling on the floor in front of the drawers.
“Yeah, but you’re like… my best friend, not my fiancé.” Taehyung sighs.
“That can be solved.” he jokes, smiling when the younger man lets out a small yet bubbly laugh of
his own. “Let’s get engaged, isn’t that a good idea?”
“We can, but only if you accept Simba as a family member.” Jungkook hisses, grabbing another
shirt to fold, keeping his smile away. “Are you rejecting me? I cannot believe this.”
“Listen, there’s a lot of things that I’d willingly and gladly do for you, but that’s where I must draw
the line.” Taehyung rolls his eyes with a laugh.
“I hate you.” he jokes.
Jungkook snorts. “Sure you do.” Taehyung just nudges his leg as they fall quiet again, a relaxing
silence as per usual, just enjoying each other’s company and trying to finish their task quickly.
It’s about twenty minutes later that they find themselves folding the empty bags, Taehyung still
kneeling on the floor. Jungkook remembers something, his whole body perking up.
“Oh my fucking God, I bought you something, hold on.” he informs as he gets up and he almost
runs out of the bedroom, only to come back with his jacket in his hands, trying to find something in
his pocket that Taehyung isn’t quite sure of what it might be.
“What did you get me?”
“Ok so…” he finally takes out a collar that has Taehyung blinking and looking between the object
and Jungkook’s eyes. “Wait— It’s not for you as in, you, it’s for— Well, shit, that was highly
suggestive but I didn’t mean it, I swear. I’m dirty-minded but that wasn’t the point this once.”
“I was slightly confused, but I’m glad that it’s not for me.” Taehyung giggles. “You bought Simba
a little collar? That’s so sweet of you.” Jungkook snorts. “What?”
“Oh, nothing.” he shrugs, doing his best not to wheeze. “Put it on her.” Taehyung grabs the object,
inspecting it with confused eyes. When he reads the name tag, he puts it down to look at his
housemate with the most serious expression that he can pull.
Jungkook laughs, loud and full, and only does he stop when something hits the side of his head
which takes him a second to process that it’s a pillow. “I can’t believe that you spent money just to
make fun of my poor little kitten. You’re so mean, I can’t believe you, hyung.”
“It was so worth it— your face—” he laughs even more, watching as Taehyung pouts with the
collar in his hand. “C’mon, you must admit that it’s a pretty cute collar. It’s even blue for a little
girl because we don’t discriminate, blue can be for girls.”
“It’s cute, but rat? Seriously? That’s not the name.” Taehyung hits him again with the pillow, this
time on his arm. “I’ll buy one with pig engraved on it for Moon, just you wait for that.”
“Did you just call Moon a pig— Leave my house right now.” he points to the door but Taehyung
just giggles, grabbing a sleepy Simba to put the collar around her thin neck. “See, it looks cute.”
“It does, that’s your luck.” Taehyung nods, placing Simba back where she was sleeping. “Oh, and
hey, come here.” he pats the bed next to him, Jungkook stepping closer to sit on the mattress as
well. “I just wanted to put some emphasis on what I told you in therapy today. We should sit down
every two days or every day, whatever you feel the most comfortable doing, and talk. I think that it
will do you good, and it’s less formal, so it could be easier to ease into talking.”
“Thank you.” Jungkook smiles, looking down at his lap. “You can also come to me whenever you
need, without hesitating. I don’t like the fact that you always ask if you can tell me something first.
You can. Whatever it is.” they both stare at each other for a short second before Taehyung bites the
inside of his cheek and places his arms around Jungkook’s shoulders.
The older man is quick to put his own around Taehyung’s middle, both keeping each other close
even as they fall onto the mattress. They chuckle at that, only shifting into a cuddling position
instead of a hug. Moon snuggles closer to be included.
“We should make dinner.” Taehyung says, head comfortably resting on Jungkook’s bicep. “What
do you feel like eating? We can cook anything, I bought groceries today… a lot of stuff.”
“You choose.” Taehyung huffs and Jungkook chuckles as he raises his free hand to Taehyung’s
bangs to push them away from his eyes. “I’m good with whatever, I’m not picky. I can eat
anything… so we can cook whatever you feel like eating, peach.” the younger blushes at the pet
name, but luckily it’s not noticeable enough, so Jungkook doesn’t comment on it.
“I may have something in mind. You’re helping, though, there are a lot of veggies to cut.” he pokes
Jungkook’s ribs with a finger.
“I can help, no problem, as long as you tell me what to do.” Jungkook shrugs and Taehyung gets up
right away with an outstretched arm. Jungkook takes his hand, allowing himself to get pulled
along. “I’ll let you know that I’m not that good of a cook, I’m only experienced in cooking ramen.”
“Can you cut vegetables?”
“Indeed, I can.” the elder nods, their fingers intertwining halfway through the hallway.
Taehyung hums. “You’ll be a great help, then.”
│►
Chapter End Notes

Let's discuss...
◄│ 27 │►
Chapter Notes
The laughter slowly comes to a halt as Taehyung takes a new sip from his glass of water, both
resting back against their chairs after being done with their meals. Jimin clears his throat. “I want to
ask you something.” he starts, pulling himself together in a more comfortable and serious position.
“I want to ask you to be my best man. I was going to be yours as well and, if there’s someone that
I’d want taking that role, it would be you. What do you say?”
“Of course— Min, of course. I’d love to.” Taehyung says with the biggest smile, mind already
creating scenarios of how that day will be like. “I’m so incredibly happy for the two of you, I can’t
believe that it’s finally happening, seriously. I’m so happy.”
“I’m so happy too, Tae. I feel like things are going well now. Hoseok and I are engaged, soon
married, you left Hyungsik… soon dating, we’re all happy.” Jimin lets out a dreamy sigh, lips
stretching into an even bigger smile. “Things are just finally looking good for everyone.”
“Soon dating?” Taehyung quietly laughs. “Who am I dating soon? I’m so far from a new
relationship right now.” he twists the glass in his hands, pouting. “I wish, I miss having someone
like that, but I’m nowhere near dating anyone… I haven’t even met anyone since we broke up.”
“Sure, sure.” Jimin sips from his soda. “Anyway… I want to talk to your parents and give them the
good news, your mom will probably be so happy, she loves me.” he smiles.
“She does. You should give them a call later today. I always talk to them before dinner so that I
know that they’re home and not at work, you should call around that time.” Taehyung says while
going back to take a small piece of bread to his mouth. “She’s going to be so excited.”
“Can you first tell them that I have some news? Then I’ll call them tomorrow!” he smiles even
bigger. Taehyung hums with a nod. “Okay, thank you… also, I forgot to ask you this, but, how did
they react to the news of you breaking up with Hyungsik?” Taehyung looks down. “What’s wrong?
Did they have a poor reaction?”
“No, they didn’t, I just haven’t told them yet.” he whispers, a little embarrassed. Jimin’s eyes go
wide. “I know that it’s been almost three weeks already but— I didn’t tell them when it happened
because I had… hope that I’d get back with Sik and now I’m just embarrassed to tell them that
their son is back to having nothing.” Taehyung admits.
“Tae… you have so much, what are you talking about? You have thousands saved in your bank
account, you have a roof over your head and a job that you love and pays you well. You have your
family, you have your friends who love you so much and you have Jungkook.” Jimin says as he
reaches for Taehyung’s hand across the table. “That doesn’t sound like nothing to me.”
“Why are ‘friends’ and ‘Jungkook’ two different categories?” Taehyung chuckles, trying to lighten
the mood even if just a little bit. “Isn’t he just part of the first category?”
“You can’t possibly say that Jungkook is just your friend.” Taehyung tilts his head. “He’s more of
like… I don’t know, he’s different. He’s always there for you in a different way, you know?”
“Yeah, I get it.” he nods then. “I just feel weird… I lost my fiancé, lost my stability, lost my
apartment… I feel like I lost everything the moment that I lost him, despite having so much still.”
“You lost your fiancé and gained happiness, which is far more important, Tae.” Jimin squeezes his
hand reassuringly. “Call your parents later today and tell them. I’m sure that they will… be happy,
just like the rest of us. They surely will also support you, they always do.”
“Why would they be happy?!” Taehyung asks, defensive, before his shoulders sag again and he
exhales. “Because Hyungsik was terrible for me, I know that now, I don’t know why I reacted that
way, I’m sorry.” he apologizes, nodding to himself. It’s still hard to believe sometimes.
“It’s fine, as long as you don’t mention him anymore, hearing about him annoys me a lot.” Jimin
requests as he waves a dismissive hand. “His name alone messes up the energy around me.”
“Jungkook doesn’t mind when I mention him...” Taehyung mumbles through a pout.
“There’s because he’s a really, really nice and patient guy. I, on the other hand, lack patience when
it’s about Hyungsik. My sincere apologies, but I just want him dead so I’m not the one to sit here
listening about him and I’m glad that hyung can be there for you when it comes to that.”
“Isn’t… death a little uh, too much…?” he looks away.
“For him? It’s too little. He deserves nothing and no sympathy, Tae. One day you’ll see it.” Jimin
half-smiles, grabbing the menu again to go through the list of desserts. “I’m getting ice cream for
dessert, do you want some too? Let’s not allow him to ruin our meal. Do you want some?”
Taehyung nods, giving him a little smile. “Strawberry with chocolate dip, please.”
│►
“…you know how your dad is.” she laughs again, Taehyung doing the same as he twists the keys
to get the door open. Moon is already barking, but she immediately stops when she understands
that it’s him and not some sort of intruder. “Is that a dog?” his mother asks.
“Oh, yeah, it’s a dog, it’s— yeah, it’s Moon.” he says, thinking of how to justify it. He’s quick to
decide that he doesn’t want to come up with anything. He’ll just finally tell them. “Mom, I have to
tell you guys something, is dad there? It’s important, call him to join us, if you don’t mind.”
“He’s in the living room, give me a second.” Taehyung can hear her heels hitting the floor with
each step and he sits down on the couch, biting his nails nervously. “Honey, Taehyungie has
something to tell us.” if the fumbling is anything to go by, she’s putting the phone on speaker and
laying it on a flat surface, he guesses it’s the table.
“Go ahead.” he hears his father say, a curious tone to his voice.
“Hyungsik and I aren’t together anymore.” silence. “We haven’t been together for almost three
weeks now, but I didn’t want to tell you guys sooner because I didn’t know how to.” Taehyung
whispers, almost embarrassed. There’s another pregnant pause before his mother speaks.
“That’s great—! How are you feeling about all of that? And how did it even happen?” he gulps.
“He was cheating on me and I caught him in the act. We broke up and I moved out of our
apartment. It was so hard in the beginning, but I’ve started to come to terms with it… and with the
fact that I’m way better off without him. Even though I miss him at times, I’m smarter now.”
“That’s understandable and normal to still miss him even when you know better. And you study
these things so you must understand it even better than we do.” I don’t, he wants to say, but the
only person so far who has understood how different it is to treat someone else and treat himself,
was Jungkook. So he stays quiet, not wanting to be misunderstood by them.
“Where are you staying, then? Are you with Jiminie?” his mother asks. “I hope that you’re not at
some hotel all alone!” she scolds. “I’ll be very upset and worried if you are by yourself.”
“No, no, I’m staying at Jungkook’s apartment—”
“Who’s Jungkook?” they both interrupt to ask at the exact same time and Taehyung lets out a quiet
laugh, recognizing the curiosity in their voices. “Oh, is that why there was a dog barking just a
moment ago? What was the name again, Moon, was it? Is it Jungkook’s?” she asks.
“Let’s go by parts… Jungkook’s a close friend, I met him a few months ago and… yeah, when I
left my apartment he was there for me a hundred percent, not only to give me a place to stay but
also to support me through the break-up, the whole time. Oh and yes, Moon is his.” he explains,
bottom lip caught between his teeth. Simba catches his eye as she walks through the living room to
lay next to the large dog and Taehyung smiles. “We also got a little kitten the other day. I mean, I
did, Jungkook hates cats but he let me keep it anyway.”
“Oh.” his mother says before sighing. “You know that if it was Hyungsik, he’d never let you keep
the poor cat…” Taehyung looks down with a nod. He knows that. It’s rather clear now.
“Jungkook’s not Hyungsik.” Taehyung states. “He’s the most caring, the most understanding
person ever. He’s the sweetest guy that I’ve ever met, seriously, and he’s funny. He’s so funny and
he makes me laugh so much, he’s so… Jungkook.” he adds, playing with the back of his own head,
fingers threading through the blonde hair, twisting it.
There’s a few seconds of silence on the other side of the line and Taehyung has to check if the call
is still on. It is. He hears his father clear his throat before speaking again. “What did you say you
two are, again?” Taehyung furrows his eyebrows. Huh?
“We’re friends, why?” he says with a weak chuckle.
“Nothing, nothing, I was just making sure.” his mother giggles. “We want to meet this Jungkook
friend, then, if he’s that nice to you and has helped you that much. We want to thank him!”
“I’ll talk to him and maybe we can arrange for you two to come here for a dinner and maybe even
bring Nira, I miss her. And the baby, haven’t seen that little thing in so long…!” his smile grows so
big that he can feel his cheeks widen upon the prospect of seeing them any time soon.
“She’s so cute, Tae, you have to see her again. Wait, have you ever seen her since your sister gave
birth or was that the only time?” his mother asks, making his eyes almost sparkle just with the
mention of his little niece. He loves kids and he loves that cute, tiny baby.
“That was the only time, I haven’t seen her since then and I’m so excited, she’s probably way
bigger now.” he almost squeals. “If Nira can’t come then you could maybe… bring Miyun with
you so that I can see her. Nira would probably be ok with that.”
“Okay, okay, that could work. Ask Jungkook then, to know if he’s ok with us going over there and
if we can take your niece, to begin with.” they say. “He may not like babies or— I don’t know, but
we must have everything in consideration. Hyungsik didn’t even meet Miyun because he said that
he doesn’t like kids, remember? And we respected that… so we can’t make Jungkook
uncomfortable in his own apartment.” Taehyung sighs. He remembers that conversation.
“I’m actually not even sure whether Jungkook likes kids or not, I don’t think that we’ve ever talked
about it. I’ll obviously ask him but, knowing Jungkook, I’m sure that he won’t mind you guys
coming over.” he smiles. He knows that his best friend supports him all the way and always tries to
find a way to make it easier and to make him happy. Jungkook is just that guy.
“Alright, keep us updated, then. And please don’t hide such big things anymore, we’re your
parents… we just want to help you and support you, Tae. You don’t have to be hesitant or ashamed
to tell us things, you know that. We’re here for you at all times.”
“I know.” he looks down, sighing, but quickly pulls himself back together. He doesn’t want to
make the mood sad, he’s been really happy lately. “Well, moving on, tell me your news now.”
│►
“I’m just saying—”
“That makes absolutely no sense.” Jungkook shakes his head as he rubs his eyes.
“Listen to me. It does make a lot of sense if you think about it. How do you make soup? A hot
liquid, water, with vegetables and cereals in it. How do you eat cereal? A hot liquid, milk, with
cereals in it. Cereal is a soup.” Yugyeom goes on, gesturing a little too much.
“Literally what—?” the other says. “I feel so much dumber every time that you share your greater
knowledge with me, honestly.” Yugyeom frowns. “The whole concept of soup is it being done with
water, how will you take the main ingredient and still dare to call it soup?” Jungkook scoffs.
“Everything… Everything about what you said, is stupid and doesn’t make sense.”
“It’s not stupid, dude.” he pulls his hair back, exhaling slowly. “You’re just not seeing the bigger
picture.” Yugyeom still tries to argue. “How do you prepare your cereal? Let’s see how I’m right.”
Jungkook breathes in, but goes along with it. “You grab your cereal, put it in a bowl—”
“Wait, what the fuck? Milk first.” Yugyeom corrects and Jungkook gapes. “How do you heat the
milk up if you add cereal first? It makes no damn sense.”
“That’s why I don’t heat my milk—” they both go quiet at the sound of the small bell over the door
and Jungkook furrows his eyebrows at the well-known figure approaching. “Hey.” he greets with a
confused smile. “I’m surprised to see you here.”
“Hey, Koo.” Taehyung smiles back, finally reaching the counter. “Are you busy?”
Yugyeom’s eyes grow bigger, watching the hand that Jungkook raises to comb away Taehyung’s
bangs as he deems them as not combed well enough. “So this is why you’re so secretive all the
time? You’re hiding a boyfriend? I thought that we were friends.” Yugyeom says with a scoff.
Taehyung giggles, accepting Jungkook’s hand when he’s presented with the offer.
“This is Taehyung, and he’s not my boyfriend.” Jungkook clarifies as he guides Taehyung by the
hand to the break room. “What are you doing all the way here?” he asks, tone as soft as always.
“I know that you have the night shift tonight and I didn’t want you to sit waiting for the bus so late
so… here.” Taehyung says, getting the car keys from his pocket. “I’ll walk home now and you’ll
take the car once your shift ends, I don’t want you waiting so late at night.”
“Tae— No, absolutely not. It’s already late, you’re not walking to the apartment, it’s an hour away
by feet.” he pushes the keys back to the younger man. “I can’t let you do that.”
“I’ll be fine, Koo.” Taehyung laughs lightly. “I’ll text you as soon as I step foot inside the
apartment, don’t worry.” he ruffles Jungkook’s hair, who doesn’t even protest despite not enjoying
having his hair messed up like that. Taehyung kisses his cheek as a goodbye.
“Well, thank you, then.” he doesn’t manage to fight his own blush. “Be careful, please.”
“Of course.” the younger smiles. “I’ll see you tomorrow if I don’t hear you coming back…”
“Alright, sleep well, Tae, and thank you again.” he watches as Taehyung walks away, waving
goodbye at Yugyeom, and only then does he return to the counter, next to his coworker who soon
whistles when they’re by themselves. “What?”
“You’ve never told me that your therapist-slash-roommate is this pretty.”
Jungkook turns to him with a frown. “Why would I ever mention that out of nowhere?”
“Oh, so you agree?” Yugyeom smirks, resting his hips against the counter as he plays with a pen.
“Yeah, Taehyung’s very pretty.” Jungkook shrugs. “I didn’t know that you appreciate men too, I
thought that you had said that you don’t.” he raises an eyebrow. “Is this your way of telling me?”
Yugyeom tsks. “Being heterosexual doesn’t necessarily make me blind. I can admit and recognize
when a man is good-looking. Like, even though I wouldn’t like, kiss you or something, you’re a
very attractive and— you know—” he gestures.
Jungkook cringes. “Alright, that’s enough.”
“Ungrateful.” he teases.
“No, I’m just sparing you of having to finish that sentence. Now, do your job and shut it, I don’t
want to hear anything else about cereal or soup or—” Yugyeom lightly punches the counter.
“But it is soup!”
“Oh my fucking—”
│►
Taehyung turns around with the weird feeling of being watched, frowning when he doesn’t see
anyone. It does, though, make him walk faster than he was previously, gripping the grocery bag’s
handle even harder. He still feels like someone is watching him, keeping an eye on him, even
though he has checked and didn’t see anyone behind him.
His mind races with possibilities.
He could be getting robbed. He doesn’t have money on him, only credit cards; he also has his
phone and yeah, he can just get another one, but he can’t even imagine having that happening to
him. He’s not very good at defending himself, he’d paralyze in fear.
At least the groceries would be safe. Probably.
He’s already crossing the road to get to the apartment, so he turns around again, just to make sure
that really no one is there, and his heart stops for a long second. He has to take a double look, not
wanting to believe that he’s actually seeing what he’s seeing.
Jungkook was right, as always. His ex-fiancé is going crazy.

Or is simply trying to make sure that Taehyung’s life doesn’t move forward. Taehyung has
realized that he’s way better alone, with his friends and family. With Jungkook. He’s great like
that. He wants to move forward, move on, forget his past relationship.
Then why is Hyungsik following him on his way back from the grocery store? Perhaps he’s just
trying to find out where Taehyung is staying now—? He doesn’t know, he only knows that he
starts to run, taking his phone in his hand to maybe call for his best friend or the police, almost
tripping as he doesn’t see the curb of the sidewalk.
He turns back briefly, seeing that Hyungsik has decided to speed up too to catch up. “What the
hell…” Taehyung asks himself in a cry, throwing his phone back into his pocket so that he can run
faster. He doesn’t think that he’s ever run this fast, rushing through the flight of stairs due to the
lack of elevator, calves asking him to stop.
But he doesn’t. Not until he’s safe inside his apartment.
Moon greets him happily, tongue out and waiting for attention, but he can’t even pet her with how
much his hands shake. His heart is in his throat, eyes glossy from freaked out tears.
There’s a knock. He jumps. “Oh my God, go away!” he finds himself screaming at the door when
the knocks don’t stop, only grow a little louder. His eyes grow wide when he shoves a hand in his
pocket. It’s empty. “My— My phone…”
He gulps away the tears, searching the grocery bag and all of the pockets that he has. Nothing.
Nothing but Moon aggressively barking at the door, clearly noticing how bothered Taehyung
seems to be by the insistent knocks. Nothing but the loud sound of a fist hitting the door over and
over and over again, and he can’t do anything, can’t call anyone; he’s all by himself.
Taehyung sobs.
Why can’t he just move on?
Why can’t Hyungsik just leave him alone?
Why?
│►
“Can you stop that?” Yugyeom asks with a rather loud voice, slapping Jungkook’s hand that keeps
nervously hitting the counter with his pen. “You’re making me anxious with all that fidgeting,
what the hell is going on with you?”
“Something’s wrong.” he replies with a shaky voice. “Something’s wrong, Yugyeom, I don’t feel
good about this.” Jungkook rubs his eyes, trying to calm himself down, but it’s a hard task.
“Wrong with what?” his coworker frowns, even more clueless now. “You’ve been freaking out for
almost half an hour already, what’s wrong and with what?”
“Taehyung. He didn’t text me. He was supposed to text me as soon as he got home and he didn’t
freaking text me. Something is off, he wouldn’t just not send me a text, something is wrong, I can
feel it.” he pushes away from the counter. “Fuck this, I’m going home, I can’t stay here.”
“Hold on, our boss said that he may come here later today or tomorrow. If it’s today, you’re
fucked.” but Jungkook ignores him, pulling his work polo off. “Dude, you can’t just leave right
now, you don’t even know if something’s wrong for sure.”
“Exactly. I don’t know. It’s better to be safe than sorry.” Yugyeom rubs his eyes as he watches his
coworker rush to put his own shirt back, throwing his jacket on and grabbing the car keys.
“I hope that there’s nothing happening, then.” he wishes. “Drive slowly, don’t get yourself in an
accident while trying to get to him or there will be two things wrong.”
“I know. I have to go now, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Jungkook pats his shoulder, rushing out of the
gas station. He clicks the button on the keys to guide himself by the sound given that he’s not so
sure of where Taehyung has parked the car. He’s quick to find it, though, quicker to get inside.
Jungkook knows that there’s something off. Taehyung wouldn’t just forget to text him. He knows
that he wouldn’t. Taehyung’s not like that. Something is very wrong.
His apartment isn’t that far away by car but he still goes as quickly as the speed limit allows him to,
one hand focusing on calling Taehyung again and again. No answer. “Shit.” he cusses, hitting the
steering wheel with his palm. He tries calling again. Again. Thirty times, maybe.
It goes to voice mail every single time and his worry increases. Something’s definitely wrong.
He does a terrible job at parking, only wanting to get to the apartment and nothing else, to see if
Taehyung’s there or if he has to look for him all the way through the path that he took from the gas
station. Jungkook would with no hesitation.
An object forgotten on the floor catches his eye so he stops to check it and gasps when he realizes
that it’s Taehyung’s phone. Then he laughs. Taehyung probably lost it and didn’t have a way to
text him. Alright, that does calm him down.
He replies to his own texts as he slowly makes his way upstairs, legs already used to climbing
those stairs every single day. His eyes drift from his phone when he hears aggressive, loud barks
and even louder knocks. What’s happening?
He’s the only one with a dog in the building and even if there were more dogs, he would recognize
Moon’s barks anywhere, any time. That’s Moon. That’s his dog barking like crazy.
“Open the fucking door right now, Taehyung.” if he runs, he doesn’t even realize it. “I just want to
talk, darling, we must find a solution for you to—”
“What in the actual fuck are you doing in my apartment?” Jungkook asks as soon as he gets there,
voice stern and assertive. “Do you fucking need something, or?!”
“Shut up, you idiot, this has nothing to do with you.” Hyungsik ignores him, still continuously
knocking on the door. Jungkook grabs him by his shirt, pulling him away. “Who the hell do you
think you are to touch me like this?!”
Jungkook scoffs. He can positively say that he hasn’t been this angry in a very long time. “I—”
“You’re going to use that small brain of yours and leave. I want to talk to Taehyung.” Hyungsik
says as he points towards the door behind Jungkook, who makes no move to get away.
“Well, fucking sucks to be you, then. Taehyung doesn’t want to talk to you.” Jungkook fakes a
smile. “You can go now.” he turns back when he hears the door opening, a crying Taehyung
coming into sight. “Tae.” Jungkook breathes out, walking closer and shielding him.
“Hyung— I was so scared.” he whispers, hands tightly grabbing Jungkook’s shirt between his
palms. “He was just following me— I ran— I don’t know. He was following me here.”
“It’s ok, hyung’s here now.” Jungkook whispers as well, keeping one hand behind his back to
comfort the blonde man who rests his forehead between his shoulder blades, given that he’s still
facing Hyungsik. “And you, get the absolute fuck out of my sight.”
“You can’t tell me what to do. You leave, I’m sure that Taehyung would love to talk to me as
well.” Hyungsik chuckles. “He’s still wearing our ring, I’m giving him the chance to come back.”
“Bad news, we threw the ring in the trash, go dig in the containers outside, it may still be lost
there.” Jungkook steps back slowly to guide Taehyung too. “Leave now or I’ll call the police. I
won’t hesitate. You have five minutes to be the farthest away possible.” he threatens.
“You keep talking and talking but have you stopped to think that maybe Taehyung actually wants
to come with me? You may think that whatever you two have going on is so great but you haven’t
seen the Taehyung that I know. He’s wrapped around my finger. You just need to accept that and
step aside, letting us talk.” Hyungsik goes on, eyes dark.
Taehyung grips Jungkook’s shirt tighter, unconsciously pulling him closer. Jungkook knows damn
well that Taehyung doesn’t want to go. Not anymore, at least. Not after all that he’s learned with
time, not after all that has been happening. “You only have four minutes and thirty seconds now.”
Jungkook steps back again, slamming the door closed.
He turns to Taehyung immediately.
The younger doesn’t meet his eyes.
“Tae—” he stops when there’s another knock. “Give me a second, will you?” Jungkook smiles
before prying himself off of Taehyung’s hands. He takes the house keys to leave the door closed.
Hyungsik hisses as he’s pushed against the closest wall, the forearm against his throat making it
almost impossible to breathe. “I wasn’t joking when I told you that I would fucking kill you if you
came close to him again.” he says through gritted teeth, voice and gaze threatening.
“You won’t— kill me.” it’s true. Jungkook would never be able to do such a thing, but he’s very
much capable of acting as though he would kill him with no hesitation.
“Are you sure? I have nothing to lose.” he presses harder. Harder. Harder. “You’re going to leave
this building and never return. Am I clear?” Hyungsik doesn’t reply, only lets a small sound as his
throat almost closes. “I asked, am I fucking clear?” Jungkook repeats.
“Yes— Yes, goddamn it.” Jungkook lets go. Hyungsik wheezes for air.
“Get the fuck out.” he waits until Hyungsik disappears through the stairs to go back inside. “Are
you ok? Did he hurt you?” Taehyung doesn’t manage to say anything, only closes his eyes and
grabs Jungkook’s shirt again, this time the front of it. He’s too shaken up. “Baby, you have to talk
to me, I can’t read your mind, okay?” he whispers. “Did he hurt you?”
Taehyung just shakes his head, looking down. Jungkook places a hand on his lower back, guiding
him to the bedroom, where he sits him down in the middle of the bed. He searches for bruises right
away, happy and relieved when he doesn’t find any.
“Stay here for a second, I’ll be right back.” Jungkook instructs. Taehyung just nods, almost smiling
when Jungkook returns holding Simba with just one hand, keeping it as far away from himself as
possible, before laying it by Taehyung’s side. “Let’s get you laying down, okay?”
Taehyung just nods again, kicking his shoes off and following Jungkook’s commands to lay down
on the bed, being covered up immediately. “I understand that you’re shaken up, he’s acting like an
actual psychopath now, but… I’m here, alright? We can talk tomorrow.”
Taehyung sniffs when Jungkook kisses his forehead. He loves those. They’re so calming, relaxing
and reassuring and they can almost make the situation not seem as bad. He loves Jungkook’s
forehead kisses a lot, one could say.
Then he points to the bed. “Do you want me to lay down?” Taehyung nods, tapping the mattress
again. “I’m sorry that this happened to you, he’s gone crazy…” Jungkook whispers as he slowly
lays down, pulling Taehyung’s head to his chest. “Yug tried not to let me leave work but I knew
that something was off, I’m so glad that I came here…”
“Thank you.” Taehyung whispers.
“You don’t have to thank me. I’m here for you. Always.” Jungkook reassures, cuddling closer so
that they can both sleep it off. Taehyung’s body still shakes by his side but Jungkook makes sure to
kiss the crown of his head every time that he feels it.
And Taehyung has to admit that those kisses and those warm arms are the only reason why he’s
able to fall asleep, to begin with. Hyungsik’s face never leaves his mind, but Jungkook’s warmth
and reassuring presence do blur it enough for him to be able to close his eyes without being scared
of falling asleep.
Jungkook really just makes everything better.
Taehyung’s so thankful for him.
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 28 │►
Chapter Notes
Taehyung takes his knees to his chest, the warm sheets falling due to the challenging yet
comforting position. He just stares at the mattress, silent. The previous night almost feels like a
blur. He remembers it vividly but it still feels like it didn’t even happen. Kind of like a lucid dream.
It was way too scary, way too weird to be real. Too insane. If Jungkook hadn’t shown up, he really
doesn’t know what could’ve happened. Would he have ended up giving in? Would he have ended
up opening the door? He doesn’t know. He doesn’t even want to consider that thought.
He heard Hyungsik’s voice after so long and it sounded nothing like him.
A knock on the door makes him jump in place, wide eyes immediately catching Jungkook’s
warmer ones. He relaxes then. It’s just Jungkook. “It’s just me.” it’s just Jungkook. “I brought you
some breakfast, can I come in?” he asks by the door, holding a tray with one too many things.
“Of course you can.” Taehyung whispers, stretching his legs so that Jungkook can place the tray on
his lap. There’s a big glass with orange juice, coffee, pancakes, bacon, and even some other
snacks. Taehyung feels bad for not being hungry. He will still enjoy it just because Jungkook took
the time to prepare all of that so carefully. “Thank you so much, hyung.”
“It’s nothing, try them.” Jungkook encourages as he sits down right next to him, laying on his
forearm. He steals a small snack, watching as Taehyung takes the first bite out of the pancakes.
“They’re getting better.” the younger jokes with a little smile. It’s easy to smile with Jungkook.
“One day they’ll be as good as yours. Not so much the shape, I don’t think that it has any salvation,
but the taste.” they both giggle and, as Taehyung takes another bite, Jungkook inhales to gather
himself and his words before speaking. “Are you feeling better? You twisted a lot in your sleep,
kept waking me up.” he asks, cautiously. “I’m not complaining, don’t feel bad, it’s just that you
were pretty shaken up... I’m just wondering if you’re ok now, is all.” he adds.
“Sorry for waking you up—”
Jungkook is quick to interrupt. “Please, it’s ok, just answer my question, I’m worried, Tae...”
“I’m just confused.” Taehyung admits, looking at him before sighing. “I just— What is he trying to
do...? Why doesn’t he just let me move on if all that he wanted from me was... submission?”
“Some routines are really hard to break, he probably just feels lost now that you left.” Jungkook
shrugs. “And I’m not trying to justify or excuse him, I’m just trying to understand why would he
ever do— that. I guess that he was so used to depending on you that he doesn’t know what the fuck
to do by himself, so he’s just trying to get you back in the stupidest and creepiest way.”
“I was so terrified, hyung. He was running after me, I wanted to call the police or— or you, but my
phone was gone and— I— if you hadn’t shown up, he would’ve just stayed there, knocking on the
door and then Moon, she kept barking so loudly and aggressively and I just wanted him gone.”
Taehyung lets out in just one inhale, almost running out of air afterwards.
“I felt that there was something wrong. It wasn’t even just because you didn’t text me, it just felt...
wrong, I knew that something was happening, something was telling me that I had to get to you.”
he steals another piece of pancake, chuckling as Taehyung cuts a bigger one to feed him with the
fork. He gladly takes it. They are, indeed, very tasty this time.
“We’re soulmates then.” Taehyung jokes, a sad smile hanging on his lips; sadness that Jungkook
can’t seem to push away today, despite his efforts. “Thank you so much for coming... I genuinely
felt scared last night and I’ve never felt like that towards him or anyone.”
“Tell me what happened. If you want to share, of course.” Jungkook sits up, looking at him
attentively. “I want to understand what happened, I’m still having a hard time comprehending.”
“Well— I was leaving the grocery store and felt... watched, so I turned around a couple of times
and I eventually saw that he was following me so I— I don’t know. I ran and he didn’t stop, so
yeah. I was going to call someone, probably you, but my phone was gone and he kept knocking and
knocking… You can’t imagine how freaking relieved I was when I heard your voice.”
Jungkook smiles. “I’m glad that I’m paranoid as fuck, then, it came in handy for once instead of
just giving me anxiety.” he chuckles. “Do you want to go to the police? We can press charges
against him. We should get a restraining order or some shit like that.”
Taehyung looks down with a gulp.
“Hm?” the elder bends down to try to check on his expression. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t... I don’t know if I want to press charges on him...” as their eyes meet, he can see the
confusion behind Jungkook’s, but the man doesn’t say anything, just nods. “Are you
disappointed?” Taehyung asks in a soft, quiet whisper, almost scared to hear the answer.
“No, not at all.” Jungkook assures. “I don’t know how I would react if I were in your position, so
I’m not going to judge your decisions. If you want to press charges, then we’ll go to the station and
do it, if you don’t want to, then we’ll just watch our backs a little harder.”
“We...” Taehyung repeats, biting the inside of his cheek. Jungkook tilts his head. “I like how you
always say ‘we’, it makes me feel like I’m not alone in whatever I’m going through. Ever.”
“And you’re not.” he places a hand on Taehyung’s thigh, just a little above his knee, rubbing
reassuring circles with his thumb. “You’re here for me and I’m here for you, ok? Whatever you
want to do, I support you with it and I’ll be there to help in whatever way that I can. I just want to
understand and for you to be honest with me, that’s all that I need from you.”
“I always am. I’m always honest with you. A hundred percent.”
“I always am, too.” Jungkook rests his forehead against his shoulder for a second, nuzzling into
him. Taehyung nods with a small smile, laying his head atop Jungkook’s. “Let’s enjoy breakfast
now, you need to eat, c’mon.” he instructs, pulling back. Taehyung dives back in.
Simba jumps onto the bed soon after, Jungkook holding a string that he uses to annoy the small
animal that twists and jumps on the mattress, effectively putting a genuine smile on the blonde’s
face. Finally, at last. “You’re going to drive her crazy.” Taehyung giggles, nudging him.
“Wasn’t it a he?” they both go silent, looking between each other and the cat. “Let’s just call it
thing, it’s easier and has no genre.” Jungkook decides.
“But she... he... has feelings, we can’t say that it’s a thing. Let’s just say whatever comes to mind
first.” Jungkook snorts. “Stop it! It’s not funny...!” but he giggles too, only to be interrupted by
himself gasping so harshly that he almost chokes on his own breath. “Oh— Wait, hyung!”
“What? What’s wrong?” Jungkook perks up.
“Didn’t you sleep here? With me?” the older man nods, confused. “Did you get up after I fell
asleep? Because if you didn’t then you didn’t drink.” Jungkook looks away before his eyes grow
wide with realization dawning on him. He didn’t drink.
“It’s— Holy shit, Tae, I didn’t drink.” he sits up straight. “It’s the second time that this happens
when I sleep with you, maybe you’re the solution.” Jungkook jokes and Taehyung finds himself
laughing as well. “It’s fucking weird, this has never happened before.”
“I have to agree that it’s odd. Both times that we slept next to each other, you were able to sleep...
maybe it’s because a lot happened? A lot of stress before sleep, a lot of things going through your
mind at the same time, maybe being so distracted keeps your mind occupied and doesn’t give you
nightmares.” Taehyung theorizes, a hand mindlessly gesturing in the air.
“I guess... but then it’s not a solution. It’s just a problem that masks another problem. In the end,
I’m still fucked up, even if I succeed at sleeping properly, I need to have shit happening so that I
don’t have nightmares. How is that good in any way?” Jungkook asks, frustrated. “I will never be
able to live like a normal person, why do I even—” he stops himself. “Never mind.”
“No, tell me. You can tell me anything, hyung.” Taehyung raises a careful hand to cup Jungkook’s
cheek, thumb caressing the skin softly. Just as softly as Jungkook strokes his wrist soon after.
“I used to just want everything to stop. I still do, but not in the same way... and not as often. It’s just
frustrating. What if I do get married someday, which I doubt will happen, what if I have, I don’t
know, kids one day? How can I possibly tell them that their dad can’t go to bed without drinking
half of a bottle of whiskey? It’s beyond me.” he sighs. “How can I tell them this?”
“You won’t have to say that.” Taehyung smiles. “We’ll find a way, we’ll find a solution. I promise
you. Please don’t think of yourself like this, we’ll find something.” he guarantees, reassuringly.
“I hope so... because this— I’m tired of this. So fucking tired, Tae.” he closes his eyes for a long
second, inhaling sharply. “We should get dressed to go to work soon...”
“I know that you’re trying to end the conversation so I’ll agree that we should get dressed but just
because I don’t want to pressure you into staying on this topic.” Taehyung chuckles, bopping his
nose. It’s cute; Jungkook’s nose is cute. It’s so round and just cute.
Jungkook smiles. “You know me.”
“Hm, I do.”
│►
Jungkook sighs, already tired, as he passes the automatic doors to the gas station. It always has the
same energy, the same feel, and Jungkook absolutely hates it. He greets Yugyeom with a short
head nod but the expression on his coworker’s face makes him halt on his way to the break room.
“What’s wrong? Did something happen…?”
“Boss is waiting for you in there…” Jungkook looks towards the door before looking back at him
questioningly. “Don’t ask me what he wants, I asked him too and got no reply… I don’t know.”
“Shit.” he whispers to himself. “Right, ok, I’ll be right back.” Yugyeom nods with a wish for good
luck barely falling from his lips. Jungkook takes long strides to the break room, opening the door
with his eyes closed and a sharp inhale. He’s nervous, hands already shaking and heart racing.
His boss looks up, standing from where he was sitting at the round table. “Jungkook.” his tone is
already harsh and it’s an immediate red flag. “Come over here.” he points towards one of the chairs
and Jungkook nervously sits down just like the older man does.
“Is everything uhm, ok?” Jungkook asks, voice almost betraying him.
“As you can probably guess, no.” he replies with no hesitation. “Yesterday when I arrived, you
weren’t here even though it was your shift. It’s not the first or the second, or third time that you do
this. You constantly arrive late and this can’t go on. Not to even mention how often I have to leave
Yugyeom alone so that you can go see your therapist.”
“But I have the right to—”
“Yes, you do have the right to go to therapy, but that on top of everything else doesn’t make it hard
for me to come to a decision. I’m going to pay for the hours that you’ve worked this month so far
and ask you to empty your locker. You’re fired.”
Jungkook’s hearing stops for a second, the last two words repeating on an endless loop. He blinks,
leaning closer. “I’m— What?” he asks, as if to make sure that he heard it right. “Sorry?”
“You’re fired, Jungkook.” the old man informs with a tired wave of the hand. “I’ve transferred the
money to your account, please go empty your locker, and you may leave once you’re done with
that. Please leave your shirts as well, don’t worry about the washing.”
Jungkook gapes. “I can’t— You can’t— I really need this job, sir, you don’t understand, please.”
His boss sighs. “You should’ve thought about that sooner. I need someone with their priorities
straight, someone who takes a job seriously, and that’s not you.” Jungkook stays silent, eyes
following the other’s finger when he points to the locker and so he nods, getting up.
As he puts on the combination to open it, he tries not to let his hands shake. He just got fired from
the only place that accepted him. He hears a gasp and a chair being pushed back when he opens his
locker and there’s nothing but two bottles of whiskey, one half-empty and the other one full. He
gulps, already waiting for the poor reaction that he’ll get from his boss.
Understandably so.
“You were drinking on the job too?!” it’s loud, accusing, and he can almost taste the judgment in
his boss’ voice. “So when you showed up drunk, it wasn’t a one-time thing. I’m so damn glad that
I fired you now. I can’t believe that I had a drunk working in my establishment.” a drunk.
The word hits him like an unexpected punch straight to the gut and it’s hard not to let it show.
That’s what he is, his boss isn’t wrong. That’s all that he is. A drunk.
“Get your things and leave immediately.” the man pressures.
Jungkook gulps away the breakdown that he feels coming. “Yes, sir.” his voice wavers.
He needs a drink so bad.
│►
Taehyung hums to himself, twisting the key on the door before pushing it open, and having an
immediate sight of the older man with whom he shares the apartment. Though the same sight
makes his smile fall. “Hyung—” he stops himself as he jogs to the couch. He quickly grabs the
bottle from Jungkook’s hand. “Why are you drinking? What happened? Are you ok?”
“Nothing happened, I’m doing perfectly fine.” Jungkook lies, but his eyes don’t. Taehyung can see
how red they are; how wet and red they are. “Of course I’m drinking, I’m a drunk, Taehyung.”
The blonde furrows his brows in confusion, leaning away when Jungkook tries to get the bottle
back from his hand. “Remember our motto? Honest with each other. Always. Tell me, what
happened for you to be in this state? You wouldn’t just drink because. Please talk to me, yeah?”
“I got fired.” Jungkook whispers. “I knew that this was coming but— I wasn’t ready for it.” he
successfully takes the bottle from Taehyung’s hand, immediately taking a big sip from it.
Taehyung takes it back with little to no finesse, a couple of drops falling onto Jungkook’s lap in the
process. Neither of them even acknowledge it. “Don’t worry.” Taehyung whispers too. “It’s going
to be ok, don’t worry.” Jungkook looks up at him right away, eyes even redder.
“How the fuck are you telling me not to worry?!” his voice grows louder for the first time since
they’ve met again, throwing his hands in the air. Taehyung unconsciously leans away. “It was the
only source of income, and even that wasn’t fucking enough, what the fuck am I meant to do now?!
Don’t tell me not to worry—” he stops his rant when his fuzzy mind registers his tone of voice and
he curses under his breath. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to raise my voice, it’s the alcohol and the
paranoia coming together.” he rubs his eyes, two tears escaping then. “I’m so sorry, please, I didn’t
mean to talk to you like this, it’s not your fault at all. I’m so sorry, really.”
“Don’t apologize. I understand that it may be scary but we’ll figure it out together. I’m here for
you, alright? I’ll pay for everything while you don’t find another job, it’s going to be ok.”
“I can’t— No, definitely not. I’m not Hyungsik, I’m not letting you pay for everything.” Jungkook
says, frustrated. “I don’t know what to do. I can’t pay for it myself either I— I don’t know
anything. I can’t afford shit without a job but I can’t let you pay either… I’m not Hyungsik…”
“Exactly because you’re not Hyungsik. That’s exactly why I’m offering this. We have each other’s
backs, I’ll pay for things while we can’t solve this. That’s how it will be, I don’t care whether you
want it or not, I’m not letting you... I don’t know, lose the apartment or whatever. I’m paying for
our things until you find another job.” he drags himself closer when he’s met with silence.
The elder sniffs, quiet, unsure. “I don’t want to… be a burden or a disappointment.” he whispers.
“I’m not— come here.” Taehyung pulls him closer, Jungkook’s head resting securely on the
younger’s lap as he lays on the younger’s thighs. “I’m not disappointed.” Taehyung whispers as he
threads his fingers through Jungkook’s long black hair. “I’ll help you find a job and it will be ok. A
job where you’re well paid, even. I promise, it will be fine. We’ll fix this, hyung.”
“Do you promise?” he whispers.
“Yes, and I never break promises.” Taehyung reassures and Jungkook sniffs with a short nod that
ends up rather weird given their current position on the couch.
“Okay, Tae. I’ll take your word for it.” he sighs. “I hope that you’re right about this.”
“Close your eyes, hyung…” Taehyung instructs, combing the bangs away from Jungkook’s
forehead carefully. “I can tell that you’re a bit drunk and that’s not going to let you calm down
properly… close your eyes for a while, alright? Let’s focus on breathing…” the elder nods, doing
as told, despite wanting to drink more, and continue crying.
Even so, Jungkook’s breathing ends up calming down, relying on the hands that play softly with
his hair, every so often caressing his scalp when he sniffs. They stay like that for around thirty
minutes, Taehyung playing with Jungkook’s hair while the latter lays on his lap.
Taehyung’s phone alerts him to a new text and he eyes the phone on the center table, not at arm’s
reach with the man lying on him. So he leans closer a little to see if Jungkook’s eyes are open or
not. They are. “Hyungie?” he calls.
“Yeah?” Jungkook whispers back, voice a little rough from all the crying.
“Can you open it for me?” his head sinks a little more into Taehyung’s thighs with the movements,
Jungkook twisting until he’s facing up. He already knows the code, so he quickly opens the text,
even if he could simply give the phone to the younger man.
“It’s… your mom saying that she bought the tickets to a week from now.” Jungkook reads the text,
looking up at him with a curious yet confused expression. “What tickets, if I may ask?”
“Oh, crap.” Taehyung mumbles. “Uhm, my parents want to visit…? They want to come for dinner
and to meet you and all… The thing is, I promised to ask you first, I don’t know why they went
ahead and bought the tickets before I confirmed it with you, I’m sorry, I can just tell them not to
come because this is your apartment, first and foremost, and—”
“Your parents are coming?” Jungkook interrupts. “Fuck, no, Tae, no.” he immediately sits up, a
shaky hand running through his hair. “They probably hate me, I can’t handle that right now.”
“Why on Earth would they hate you?” Taehyung furrows his eyebrows. “If anything, they’re
extremely thankful for everything that you’ve done for me so far, what are you thinking about?”
“I’m sure that no sane parent would ever forgive what I did to you— in the past.” Jungkook says
with a gulp. Taehyung giggles. “How do you find this funny? It’s not funny, they hate me, we can
never meet again— well, at least not soon, I cannot handle that shit right now, I already—”
“Hey, hyung.” the younger interrupts, reaching for his hand to hold. “I never once told them
anything, Koo. Don’t worry, you’re just Jungkook, the best guy ever, the one that gave me a place
to stay and a shoulder to cry on.” Taehyung smiles. “I’ve told you before, I knew that you were
going through something, I wouldn’t share it with them. I didn’t take it that deep.”
Jungkook nods slowly, processing the words, cheeks a little red at the compliments. “But… you
guys are rich and all, I’m broke. I’m not even employed anymore… they’ll hate me, they may
think lowly of me or whatever, I’m not like you guys, I’m nowhere near your social class.”
“My parents may have money but they don’t care for anyone’s status. Seriously, don’t panic, my
parents are super relaxed and normal, I’m sure that they’ll love you.” Jungkook’s eyebrows still
have a crease between them, clearly not convinced. “Do you trust me?” Jungkook nods
immediately, not thinking not even for a second. “Then I assure you that it will be ok. Not only my
parents’ visit but everything. Everything will be ok. I promise you, okay?”
They both close their eyes as Taehyung leans closer, resting their foreheads together affectionately.
“We’ll solve this.” Jungkook whispers, trying to convince himself.
“Exactly, we will.” Taehyung agrees. “I like this way of thinking. We must stay positive now.”
Jungkook sighs. If only it was that easy.
│►
Taehyung’s eyes open ever so slowly as something interrupts his sleep, followed by a loud thud
that makes him sit up and turn the small lamp on. He gasps. Jungkook’s body lays on the floor but
Taehyung can hear him mumbling before sitting up and rubbing his knee in circles.
“Hyung?” Taehyung calls, confused. “Did you… fall? Did you trip?” he asks, though the reason
should be all too obvious after weeks of living together. Jungkook’s drunk, he knows that much.
“I don’t— who put that there?” he points to the bed, stumbling when he gets up, immediately
falling again but, this time, onto the mattress where he sits down. “I’m very sad, Tae.” he says.
“You’re also extremely drunk.” Taehyung sighs. “Are you sad because you were fired?” Jungkook
nods, doubling over Taehyung to open the second drawer, a bottle of whiskey still there waiting.
“I feel useless.” he says but he snorts as if that was the best joke to date, opening the bottle and
throwing the cap somewhere to be found later. “I’m going to be unemployed forever— a joke.”
“You won’t, I’ll help you find a new job, don’t worry about it. You should sleep, you’re already
very drunk, give me that—” Taehyung tries to take the bottle but Jungkook puts it out of reach.
“There’s more to why I won’t find a job.” Jungkook says before taking a new sip. Just from the
smell, Taehyung knows that the drink must be very strong. How can Jungkook drink it like water?
Then it clicks in his mind. “What do you mean? What more?”
Instead of replying, Jungkook simply leans closer to leave a kiss on Taehyung’s cheek, failing
miserably and leaving it on his jaw instead. He frowns but doesn’t try again, settles for getting up
from the bed. “Night…” he whispers as he gets up. “I’ll go back to the couch…”
“Do you want help—”
“No…!” Jungkook shakes his head, stumbling on his way to the door, holding himself onto
everything so that he doesn’t fall again. “Bye…” he says as the door closes with little to no finesse.
Taehyung’s heart hurts. He must find a way to get Jungkook to sleep without that damn whiskey.
He can’t bear seeing him like this every single day. It hurts.
And they must find him a new job as soon as possible or he’s sure that Jungkook will end up going
mad alone at home. They’ll start tomorrow. He’ll find something, he’s sure. Jungkook’s smart,
looks good, and he’s soft-spoken, professional, understanding; there’s no reason as to why it’d be
hard to find him a new job. He’s the perfect candidate for whatever it may be.
He doesn’t know what Jungkook meant when saying that there are more reasons as to why it’ll be
tough finding somewhere that will employ him, but he figures that it may just be Jungkook’s lack
of confidence. Taehyung hates it when he doubts himself. He’s so capable and wise, he should hold
himself a lot higher than he does.
With a tired sigh, he lays back down, hugging the pillow that still kind of smells like Jungkook
from having been used just the night before. It’s weirdly relaxing and weirdly comforting, he’s
never felt this way just from someone’s scent but, truth be said, the pillow having Jungkook’s
cologne and shampoo, really does make it feel like he’s right there, and that’s the only reason why
Taehyung manages to fall back to sleep quickly, despite having a million thoughts and worries
going through his head at the same time.
He’ll worry tomorrow. For now, he’ll just try to rest. If possible.
Knowing that Jungkook’s drunk and alone — possibly crying and freaking himself out by himself
on the couch, does make it all a lot more challenging. However, again, his comforting smell on the
pillow is enough to keep Taehyung asleep through the night. Weirdly enough.
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 29 │►
Chapter Notes
Jungkook blinks a couple of times, the feeling of cold saliva against his chin makes him cringe
right away and he tries rubbing it away with a lazy hand. Only then does he process how there’s a
finger poking at his thigh every two seconds and he looks down, only to see Taehyung with a bored
expression, chin prompted on his palm while poking the elder’s thigh.
“Good morning.” Jungkook rasps out, voice groggy from sleep.
“Oh, finally. I’ve been trying to wake you up for like, four minutes already.” he chuckles, stopping
his hand by just resting it on top of Jungkook’s thigh. “Good morning… now get up—!” Taehyung
instructs with a smile, tapping his leg three times. “Wake up and get up, we have a lot to do.”
“Yeah, no.” Jungkook rolls around on the couch, turning his back to the blonde. “I have nothing to
do, why would I get up?” it’s a whisper muffled against the pillows and Taehyung knows that he
must be pouting as well, or at least frowning, and he doesn’t like that one bit.
“Yeah, you definitely won’t have anything to do for a long time if you don’t try to get another job.
C’mon, get up, hyung. I’ve already called in sick to work so that we can prepare your new résumé.
You’ll take care of that and I’ll pick up your criminal record… then we can start distributing it in
the afternoon.” Jungkook’s eyes shot open right away at the mention.
“Now, wait, hold on.” he turns back around. “We uh, I can do that myself. Yes, I can do that
myself.” Taehyung sits down on his heels, being close to the same level as the other man. “You
should go to work, I’ll— I’ll do it. I’ll take care of it, you should go, yeah, no worries.” he tries.
“Absolutely not. I promised to help you with it and I will. You must be the one making the résumé
since I don’t know the information needed, and I’ll pick up the record at the station. Since I’m a
therapist and I know an officer there, I can pull some strings to be able to ask for it without being
the actual person. I mean, being you.” Jungkook sits up with a gulp.
“That… I uh, maybe I don’t… need to send it?” he smiles a little, trying to look as unbothered as
possible, and not as desperate as he is. “Do jobs even ask for criminal records anymore?”
“Yeah, of course, they do. Imagine that you’ve been to prison or something, they need to know
those things. If you don’t send it with your résumé, they’ll most likely ask for it or not even look
into your application at all and we don’t want you getting ignored.” Taehyung gets up with a
giggle, grabbing the other’s hands. “C’mon, up, up.”
“Right.” Jungkook looks at their hands, frowning. “We could also leave it to another day or
something…” he smiles. “You’ll go to work today and I’ll stay here on the couch drowning in
alcohol and self-pity… how does that sound? To me, it sounds like a productive day.”
“Nope.” Taehyung pulls him up. “As you said yesterday, you’ll go mad if you stay at home for too
long, so we’re finding you a job as fast as possible. But—! First, we’ll have breakfast. I’ve prepared
it already.” he says as he drags a very reluctant Jungkook by the hand, tone happy and excited. “I
didn’t add sugar to your coffee because I saw you drink it without any yesterday…?”
“Oh, thanks. I absolutely hate coffee with sugar.” Jungkook admits, bumping straight into the
younger’s back when he stops abruptly. “Sorry—”
“But I’ve always added sugar to your coffees… and you never said anything, you just drank them
—?” Taehyung turns to him with a confused expression, eyebrows brought together.
“You’re not obligated to do anything for me so if you take the time and energy to do whatever it is,
I’ll accept it.” Jungkook shrugs. “I may hate sugar in my coffee but, if you out of your kindness,
prepare it that way, I’m not going to be an ass about it and complain.”
“Wow.” Taehyung nods ever so slowly, taking it in. “Every day you further prove me right when I
say that you’re the freaking best guy ever.” he compliments, tone full of honesty.
Jungkook nervously chuckles. “What if I prove you wrong…?”
Taehyung giggles. “Now, that sounds impossible. Let’s just eat, I won’t add sugar in your coffee
ever again—!” he reassures, holding Jungkook’s hand again to finally get him in the kitchen. “I
hope that we get a lot of positive answers to your applications, you’re the perfect candidate.”
“I’m really not, and I doubt that we will.” he looks away.
“Hyung.” Taehyung frowns. “Don’t say that about yourself. Where’s your confidence? You’re
always confident, I don’t like hearing you like this.” he reprehends. If there’s something that he
hates is when Jungkook belittles himself. He’s too deserving and good to think lowly of himself.
“I'm only confident about a few things.” the elder sighs as he sits down, rubbing both of his eyes
tiredly. “I’m going to disappoint you one day or the other, and you’ll see what I see. Everyone does
eventually, don’t have so much hope in me. I’m literally just a handsome face, nothing else, and
you’ll rea—” Taehyung shoves an already cut piece of a green apple past his lips, effectively
shutting him up. Jungkook rolls his eyes, lips tugging in a little smile.
“You could never disappoint me and, if you say it again, you’ll be in trouble. You’ll get the
spanking of a lifetime.” he scolds, one finger pointing at him warningly.
Jungkook puckers his lips. “That’s very sexual.”
Taehyung’s hand freezes where it was going to feed himself some apple as well, cheeks reddening
with the observation. “No, you’re just very dirty-minded.”
“Well, yeah, I won’t disagree with that one.” he nods. “Now that we’re in a better mood… can we
agree that you’ll go to work and I’ll just stay here with Moon?” Jungkook tries, he even uses his
most charming smile, but Taehyung only squints at it, unaffected.
“No.” damn it. “Eat your breakfast, we have a lot to do.”
“Fine…”
│►
Jungkook stares at the small animal laying on his lower stomach, frowning to himself. It’s only
when Simba meows that he, very reluctantly, pets her head with just one finger. His résumé is
already done and he finds himself, yet again, laying on the couch, Moon sleeping peacefully on the
floor right next to him. Taehyung should be arriving soon and he’s just… waiting.
“You’re so stupid.” he deems as he pets the little cat. “I don’t like you.” the purring sound fills up
the small living room, a sound that he’s starting to grow used to. It has him smiling, just a little,
tiny, of course, until he hears the door being unlocked.
Then his smile grows, the best of the greetings already on the tip of his tongue, mouth already
opening to welcome the younger man, but Taehyung doesn’t look happy and realization is quick to
hit him. Hard. He sits up with a gulp. “Tae… Sit down, let’s—”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” the younger immediately asks, waiting for an answer that doesn’t come.
He frowns upon the silence, taking a step closer. “Why didn’t you tell me that you’ve been to
prison?” Jungkook stares down at his lap, eyes closed. “Answer me.”
But he doesn’t. Jungkook stays silent, heartbeat so fast that he wonders if he’s risking a heart attack
or something close to it. He can feel almost feel the blood running through his veins, fast.
“Jungkook, why didn’t you tell me that you’ve been to jail for theft?” Taehyung insists, putting the
papers down on the center table, the letters facing him so that Jungkook can read them.
“Can you drop it, please?” Jungkook asks as he gets up, walking around the couch to get away
from the conversation but Taehyung follows and Jungkook’s startled by a hand around his forearm,
holding him back. He didn’t think that Taehyung would ask again.
Taehyung always respects his decisions, especially when he doesn’t want to talk or share.
“No, I can’t just drop this, hyung. You’re going to tell me what made you stay in prison for three
months. You’re not walking away from this, not when it’s this serious.” Jungkook’s mouth falls
open, anxiety taking over and easy tears already pooling in his eyes.
“I didn’t have money, okay, I had to do—” he stops. “Drop this, Tae, I don’t— Please, don’t do
this, I seriously cannot do this right now.” Jungkook begs, taking a step further.
“I promised that I’d help you find a new job, but I can’t do that unless you tell me what I’m dealing
with. What happened? Why did you get arrested?” Taehyung’s voice is demanding yet his eyes are
soft, and Jungkook’s conflicted; his hands still shake, no matter how soft Taehyung’s eyes may
look. They don’t relax him this time, they don’t bring him warmth, only nerves.
“I just— I-I stole something out of panic, I got caught for it and the police was called on me and I
ended up— please, I didn’t hurt anyone, I’d never.” he reassures, swallowing a heavy lump in his
throat. “I just stole something and it only happened once, I swear, I didn’t hurt anyone.”
Taehyung’s shoulders sag then. “I know that you didn’t hurt anyone, hyung, I didn’t think that you
had.” it’s a lie; Jungkook can tell. Taehyung obviously imagined the worst-case scenarios and he’s
just trying to make him feel better. “Uhm, what did you steal? Was it food?” he asks, way calmer
now. Jungkook closes his eyes as he knows that his answer won’t get a good reaction.
However, he also knows that the silence will only make Taehyung pressure him more. Something
that never happened since he’s started going to therapy. For once, he’s sharing not because he
trusts Taehyung, but because he feels like he has to do so, like he has no way out of the question.
It feels different.
It hurts.
He hates it.
It doesn’t even feel like Taehyung, to begin with.
“Jungkook.” a tear rolls down his cheek and he has never felt this pressured before. His throat
wants to close up but he has to speak. Taehyung isn’t respecting his privacy at all. “W-What did
you steal?” he asks, starting to grow equally as nervous to hear the answer.
“I-I stole five bottles of whiskey.” Jungkook whispers. “I put them in my backpack and tried to take
them. I did it after finding out that I wouldn’t have nightmares if I drank and I was desperate to stop
having them because— they’re traumatic.” it’s still a whisper, a little dragged.
The silence that takes over the small apartment is, somehow, louder than anything that he’s heard
before. He’s looking down at his feet as they’re far more interesting than the look of
disappointment on Taehyung’s face. He knows that it’s there without even having to check.
Taehyung’s mouth opens and closes one too many times, disbelief hitting him in more ways than
one. But then he speaks, slow and confused. “You… fucked your whole entire life… for a damn
drink?” he finally asks, sadness too thick to allow him to see through his own words and realize
how his best friend looks. “No place takes a convicted felon, especially with a theft arrest under
their belt, and you— you did this for a drink? I can’t understand.” Taehyung chuckles humorlessly,
purely out of frustration. He’s completely, and utterly shocked.
“T-Tae…” Jungkook tries, voice wavering.
But the blonde doesn’t even think, he just rubs his eyes, already stuttering to speak again, to
question again, to push further. “How— How do you not see the huge problem here?” their eyes
meet and Jungkook can’t even recognize the look on the younger man’s face.
Demanding. Waiting for an answer. Angry, even. It’s odd and unusual.
He doesn’t like it.
“I was nineteen and desperate and— and scared, can you please drop this?” he chokes on his tears,
aggressively wiping them away with the back of his hands. He hates crying.
Taehyung has always been understanding, why is he all of a sudden acting like this? Talking like
this? Jungkook trusts him blindly exactly because Taehyung never judged him before, never
pressured him, never forced him to speak. This isn’t Taehyung.
The man in front of him isn’t the one that he trusts.
“I would understand if you had stolen food or money or— shit, I don’t know, something to keep
yourself fed and well but alcohol? Hyung… you messed up the chances of ever getting a good job,
of getting yourself back on track, and all for a damn—”
“Don’t you think I know?!” Jungkook finally interrupts, voice loud and on edge, yet panicked and
scared. He doesn’t want to talk about it. Not like this, that’s for sure. He knows the consequences
of his actions, he’s been living with them for many years already, he knows what he’s done.
“You’re not acting as though you know.” Taehyung throws his hands, exasperated. “This makes
me so angry— you’re the best person that I know and you’re so freaking smart, literally, a little
genius, and now that doesn’t matter…” Jungkook tunes out, covering his ears to block him out.
But he can still hear it at the back of his mind like some sort of torture.
It doesn’t go away, no matter how hard he presses on his ears.
It’s still there: loud, angry, persistent.
“Please stop…” he whispers, growing more and more anxious.

Taehyung doesn’t hear him between his own quick words. “...and I just want you to be ok and have
a shot at a good life, but no place will ever take a convicted felon, especially here, and especially
for theft, now what are we suppos—”
“Leave!” Jungkook screams, voice rough, breaking at the end. “Stop, leave, go away, leave my
apartment, Taehyung.” he pleads, letting out a sob as he continues holding his hands over his ears
and the blonde takes a step back, eyes growing wide with both shock and realization.
What did he just do? He completely lost track of the situation. “Hyung—”
“Fucking go!” Taehyung flinches but nods, getting his phone and his keys before leaving the
apartment with no other word said. He can’t possibly say anything else or argue after what he’s just
done, and he knows his place, he must obey when he receives such an order; he knows what
happens when he doesn’t, he’s learned it the hard way with his ex-fiancé.
Jungkook falls on his knees right away, forehead on the floor as his body shakes. The only person
that he trusts with everything reacted like this, didn’t even hesitate to judge him without knowing
all the reasons behind his actions, as wrong as they might’ve been.
How would someone else react if they came to know of it? Taehyung’s the person that knows him
the best, his own therapist, so would a friend or a stranger that knows a lot less about him than
Taehyung, just hate him entirely? Is that what would happen?
Somehow it hurts more that it was Taehyung. His best friend, his therapist, his biggest support.
He never felt so betrayed, and he’s been betrayed one too many times.
It takes him about a minute to be able to calm himself and stop hyperventilating and he’s only able
to achieve it because Moon’s there, licking at his face, but he just moves to the couch instead of the
floor, a bottle of whiskey in his hand.
It hurts. His chest hurts so bad.
He needs to stop thinking. Urgently.
Whiskey will help.
│►
Taehyung waits until the door is open, Jimin receiving him with a confused smile given he wasn’t
expecting the visit. “Hey, Taehyungie. You didn’t say that you were coming, did you miss me that
much?” he teases as he steps aside, gesturing for him to walk in.
“Not exactly… I had a nasty fight with Jungkook. Kind of. Well, not kind of, yeah, he was pretty
angry at me.” Taehyung explains with a tired sigh. “He told me to leave so… here I am.” Jimin’s
jaw falls, surprised. “I didn’t know where else to go or what to do…”
“You did the right thing for coming here, come sit down— Hoseok!” he yells after his fiancé. “Sit
down, tell us everything that happened so that we can try to help… or just give you emotional
support, I didn’t see this coming, I’m unprepared.” Jimin stresses.
“What— Oh, hey, Tae.” Hoseok smiles. “Why is the sudden visit? Did you miss us?” he chuckles.
“No… honey, Jungkook basically kicked Taehyungie out so we’re going to sit down and listen to
the story of what happened.” Jimin informs, patting the couch for him to take a seat as well.
“Jungkook what— why? How and why?!” Hoseok’s eyes go wider than ever. “Explain yourself
because I can’t quite believe this or imagine Jungkook actually kicking you out, I hope that this is
just a very unfunny joke that you’re telling us.” he half-scolds.
“No, it’s not a joke. I wish it was a joke…” Taehyung sighs as he runs a hand over his face. He
wants to cry again. “He lost his job yesterday and today I didn’t go to work to stay at home and
help him with his résumé. I went to pick up his criminal record and found out that he’s been to
prison for three months a few years ago.” the couple before him gasps as if on cue. “Yeah, I know,
I had the same reaction… I’d never guess. He’s so— himself. I’d never think of this...”
“Well, I mean, we’ve all done stupid things when we were teenagers…” Hoseok tries. “How does
that have anything to do with you getting apparently kicked out, though? I don’t understand the
connection between the two.” he tilts his head, confused. “Sure, it’s bad, but why did you get
kicked out? I genuinely cannot picture him doing that, and I don’t even know him that well.”
“I was angry. I got angry, I am angry.” Taehyung says, frustrated. “You don’t know him but he’s
honestly the smartest person that I’ve ever met, he’s so incredibly nice and kindhearted and
freaking understanding and genuine and now— none of that matters. It doesn’t, because wherever
he attempts to work at, wherever he sends his application to, he’s just going to be the ex-convict
who’s gone to prison for theft. That’s all that he’s going to be in their eyes.”
“I see.” Jimin nods, still processing it. “But uh, did you… tell him this? Like— Like that? What
happened? What do you mean you got angry— how angry? What did you tell him, Tae…?”
“I just started venting about what I just told you. I told him that it’s not ok, that what happened will
follow him until the very last day and that—”
“Taehyung, I love you, but I would’ve kicked you out too.” Hoseok interrupts and Taehyung gapes.
What? “You’ve told us so many times before that you’re the only person that he’s able to open up
to, that he doesn’t trust anyone else, and you really judged him for something that probably is hard
enough on its own… you did not help.” he goes on.
“Yes, exactly. Imagine how hurt he must be, that not only one of his best friends but also his
therapist and the most trustworthy person in his eyes, reacted in such a way. We’ve seen how
whipped he is for you, so for him to tell you to leave is because he must be… heartbroken, maybe
thinking that he has disappointed you, as well.” Jimin points out, both of them looking at him with
a mixture of something close to concern and disbelief.
Taehyung looks away as he processes the words.
Oh. Oh, God.
“I-I was just upset— I didn’t— No, I—” he inhales. “God— Jimin, I need to go back to the
apartment, I need to tell him why I was so upset, I need to talk to him, he’s all alone there and he’s
probably dri— he’s alone.” Taehyung gets up in a hurry but a hand grabs onto his own.
Hoseok sits him back down. “I believe that you should give him time. Stay for the night and go
back in the morning.” Taehyung shakes his head quickly. “Tae, if he’s upset and you’re upset then
you’ll just end up fighting more and you two adore each other, there’s no need for fights.”
“But he’s alone, you don’t know him, he—”
“He’s a twenty-seven-year-old man who has lived many years without you in the past. After this
stunt, I’m sure that it’s best to leave him alone for the night.” Taehyung gulps as he sags on the
couch. Of course that they don’t understand why he’s so concerned about Jungkook being alone.
They don’t know half of it.
But they’re right, he should give Jungkook some time so, even if he can’t go there himself, he’ll
still make sure that Jungkook’s not alone. “I’ll just call Yoongi hyung to go check on him…”
“Okay, yeah, that sounds good…”
│►
Yoongi shushes Moon as soon as he opens the door with the spare key, trying to make as little
noise as possible. He doesn’t know how his best friend is doing and he may be asleep, so he wants
to be careful. “Kooks?” Yoongi calls, quietly.
No answer.
The living room is empty, there’s only a stretching cat on the pillow and Yoongi is quick to figure
out that Jungkook either left or is in his bedroom, so that’s where he goes next. The smell of
alcohol hits him almost like whiplash. There’s a whiskey bottle broken on the floor next to the bed,
though there’s little to no liquid around it, so he guesses that the bottle was probably already almost
empty when it fell and broke.
There are two more bottles, one on each one of Jungkook’s hands. Yoongi’s eyes almost water at
the sight. He can tell that his best friend is absolutely wasted without Jungkook even having to
open his mouth. He can see it, smell it, and just know it.
“Drinking again?” Yoongi whispers as he turns on the small light on the bedside table, and he
gasps. The poor lighting in the bedroom didn’t allow him to see just how hard Jungkook’s silently
crying. “Oh, Kooks…” neither of them say anything, Yoongi simply takes the bottles from him to
place them on the bedside table, helping him into a proper lying position.
Jungkook curls into himself, closing his eyes shut.
Yoongi lifts up the covers to lay down as well, throwing his arm around his best friend, who sniffs,
not even moving. Not even reacting. “Are you ok?” Yoongi whispers, worried.
“Taehyung— I, no, sad. I— sad. Taehyung. Tae’s disappointed—” that does make him sob. “Not
drunk— I’m not.” he tries to speak, words so dragged that his friend can’t understand anything.
“Of course you’re not.” Yoongi sighs. “C’mon, let’s get you to sleep so that you’re not crying any
longer.” Jungkook just cries more, but nods in the dark. Yoongi has to bite away his curiosity.
It seems impossible for Taehyung to just abandon Jungkook in this state so he wonders where he is
and why he isn’t the one hugging Jungkook to sleep. He wants to ask, wants to know whether
Taehyung knows what happened or not, whether Taehyung’s related or the direct cause of his tears
or not. He wants to ask, he has many questions.
However, the way that Jungkook’s body shakes with tears is enough for him to stay quiet. He’ll
wait for the morning and for a sober Jungkook and, for now, he’ll just focus on playing with his
hair and try to ease him to sleep. It pains him to hear the sniffs and the tiny sobs.
It’s going to be a long night.

│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 30 │►
Chapter Notes
Jungkook wakes up to an odd weight on his neck and it’s a little hard for him to breathe. He’s
confused by it until he looks down to see the small cat comfortably adjusting her sleeping position
right on top of his throat. He sighs.
He just closes his eyes, deciding that Simba is the least of his problems. Jungkook tries to let her
snuggle into him, tries to go back to sleep even with the animal lying almost on his face, the
yellow fur tickling his nose and weight blocking his airways; he tries sleeping through all of it.
But he can’t.
Not because of the small pet, though, but because his mind is still foggy from how much he drank
the night before and his throat feels rough from all the crying into his pillow. He just feels wrong
and exhausted. That, plus knowing that he’s all alone in the apartment and Taehyung’s words that
keep repeating in an endless loop, don’t seem to let him rest just a little longer.
Then, the smell of food being cooked in the apartment reaches his nose.
His eyes shoot open yet again. What is going on? Is Taehyung back? When did he return? He
doesn’t remember Taehyung coming back to the apartment. Did they fight again while he was
drunk? Did they make up? He doesn’t want them to have solved anything when drunk, he doesn’t
want to just forget it and move on. He hopes that they didn’t talk anything out.
He’s still very much angry, very much hurt, and not ready to see Taehyung, to begin with.
“Sleep here now…” Jungkook whispers as he places the small kitten on the pillow instead, Simba
curling to herself to go back to sleep even if the source of warmth that she found in Jungkook is
now gone. The pillow is warm enough, makes up for it.
He finds himself not knowing what to expect and much less what to hope for while making his
way to the kitchen, unsure whether he wants it to just be his stupid mind playing tricks or if he
wants it to be Taehyung. A big part of him hopes for the first. He wants to be alone.
And he just doesn’t feel ready to face Taehyung again.
He takes a deep breath before entering the kitchen and his shoulders slump with relief when he
does. There stands Yoongi with some toasted bread and coffee and Jungkook has never been this
thankful or happy to see Yoongi. It’s a big relief.
“Hey.” Jungkook greets with a tired voice, sounding just as rough as his throat feels. “What made
you visit this early in the morning?” Yoongi sighs as he turns to him, looking upset by the question
for some reason. Jungkook doesn’t quite understand it.
“I slept right next to you, you just don’t remember it. You were very drunk.” he explains, putting
the two plates with toasted and buttery bread down on the counter. Jungkook just stares at them,
processing the words. What? Yoongi slept over? He has no recollection whatsoever.
He only remembers laying down with Moon and his bottles of whiskey. It’s blank after that.
“Alright, then… What made you come spend the night with me, then? And I’m sorry that you saw
me that way, something happened last night and I just— yeah. Drinking is my way out of
everything in life.” Jungkook says with an embarrassed voice, sitting down to eat his breakfast.
“Taehyung called me asking me to come to you. He didn’t say why but he sounded really worried
and upset… and honestly kind of freaked out, I came running as soon as he hung up.” Jungkook
scoffs. Worried, it sure sounded like it. “What happened with you two? Did you fight or what?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Jungkook mumbles.
“Alright, let’s enjoy our breakfast, then.” Yoongi gives him a reassuring smile but Jungkook can’t
even force a fake smile too, at least try to pretend to be alright, he just stares back at his food. And
it’s dead silent. Yoongi looks up at him from time to time, trying to see any signs of what may have
happened or of Jungkook’s will to talk. He doesn’t see anything at all.
So, when the latter speaks, it comes as a surprise. “I got fired yesterday.” it’s all that he says, still
looking down at his plate. “I don’t want to talk about it, though.” he quickly adds. Yoongi’s
eyebrows knit together in a worried frown, but he doesn’t say anything.
If Jungkook wants silence then he will have it, even if it bothers him to stay quiet.
Moon sits down next to her owner, feeling the bad energy in the room, and Yoongi almost coos as
she rubs her head on Jungkook’s thigh, both asking for affection and showing support as she
always tends to do when she senses his sadness. Jungkook pets her without even looking.
Yoongi knows then just how badly the situation is affecting the other.
Jungkook would never not pay attention to her.
“I’ll never get employed again because I’ve been to prison before.” Yoongi promptly chokes on
his juice, some of it dripping down his chin. Jungkook closes his eyes tightly, already expecting
him to lash out. Just like Taehyung did. If Taehyung lashed out, why wouldn’t Yoongi?
But he doesn’t scream, he doesn’t judge. Instead, there’s a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it
reassuringly. Jungkook sighs. “That’s kind of badass but I can see the problem. I don’t know what
happened but I know you and I know that you’d never hurt a fly… so whatever happened that put
you in prison must have been… I don’t know, worth it is not the word but… maybe justified.”
“It was most definitely not worth it.” Jungkook sighs as he puts his coffee down and gets up to
leave the table. “It was probably the stupidest thing that I have ever done in my life and I’ll have to
live with it for as long as I’m here. Working at the gas station allowed me to act like it didn’t
happen, but now I just got slapped with it again. I can’t escape the consequences.”
“Is that… Is this why Taehyung isn’t here? Did he have a bad reaction?” he tries, watching his best
friend open the fridge to pull out a bottle of whiskey. He has to stop himself from speaking.
“Yeah.” is all that Jungkook says. “I don’t want to talk about Taehyung right now, I’m really
fucking hurt.” Yoongi blinks, silently observing as the other fills up the coffee mug with whiskey.
“Kooks… it’s nine in the morning…” Yoongi has to say. It’s way too early to be drinking already.
“Is there a time to be sad? I didn’t know about that.” Jungkook asks with a rather dry tone and his
best friend just sighs, going back to stuff his mouth with food. “Are you going to judge me?”
“No, just have at it, drink it.” Yoongi whispers. He doesn’t want to judge his friend, but he
definitely wants to scold him, ask why the hell he is so dependent on alcohol, ask so many things
that he wants to know about Jungkook but has never had the courage or opportunity to ask.
Instead, he remains silent for the rest of their breakfast, and so does Jungkook.
The latter gets kicked out of the kitchen once they’re done eating as Yoongi volunteers to clean it
up himself, and that just leaves Jungkook alone with his own head. Again. That’s always a bad
thing to do and he already wants to get black-out drunk again so that his thoughts can stop.
They’re too many and too confusing, too hurtful. He wants them to stop.
He can’t drink with Yoongi there, though, so he peeks into the living room as his friend settles on
the couch after finishing tidying the kitchen up. “Can you leave…?” Jungkook asks. “I want to be
alone, if that’s ok with you. Can you, please, just go?” he asks again, sounding exhausted.
“Yeah, no, I’m not going to leave you alone. I won’t bother you, you can stay in your bedroom if
you want to. If you want the couch then I’ll stay in the kitchen, whatever, but I’m not leaving you
alone in such a hard moment for you.” Yoongi denies the request, doesn’t even consider it.
Jungkook sighs. He stares at the couch for a second before his eyes fill back up again with tears.
“Ko—” Yoongi gets up but stops when Jungkook holds a hand out to signal him to stay away. “I
hate this, I hate seeing you like this, please talk to me, let me help you. Talk to me. Please.”
“I just want to be alone. Please. Please, I’m begging you, I want to be alone.” his words get
muffled by a sob at the end and he closes his eyes, inhales in a futile attempt at keeping control of
his breathing. “Please, Yoongi, I need to be alone. Please go. Please.”
“I’ll leave you alone. I promise you that I will, but don’t ask me to just not care or to leave. I’m not
going to do that, I’m sorry. I want to be here so that you can call me if you need me.” he insists. “I
swear not to bother you, but I’m staying. I need to make sure that you’re… well, ok.”
“Alright.” Jungkook sniffs, giving up. “Don’t go in the room even if you hear me crying.” Yoongi
nods, blinking away his worried tears as he grabs Simba from the couch before walking up to his
best friend. He knows just how much Jungkook’s pets help him feel better.
“Let’s get you to bed. Moon, come here, girl.” he whistles and she’s following them seconds after.
Yoongi leads the crying man to his bed, patting the mattress so that Moon cuddles him and he
makes sure to leave Simba there as well. “Call me if you need. Don’t hesitate.”
Jungkook just sniffs.
“Is that an ok?” he checks.
“It’s an ‘I don’t have another choice, so ok’.” Yoongi frowns a little, but nods, nonetheless. “Close
the door on your way out…” he requests and that’s a clear indicator that Jungkook wants him to
leave. Yoongi isn’t dumb and he doesn’t want to make him uncomfortable, so he nods.
“I will. Sleep well… or rest well.” Jungkook doesn’t say anything else and so Yoongi ruffles his
hair before walking away, making sure to close the door as Jungkook asked.
Jungkook turns to Moon once they’re left alone, his tears breaking free as soon as her clueless eyes
meet his. “Hey, girl.” he still tries to smile at her, touching her nose with the tip of his pointer
finger. His chest fills up with a sob as Moon’s ears perk up. She whines. “No, no, don’t cry,
baby…” he shushes her. “It’s alright, don’t be sad, no one’s sad.” Jungkook chuckles at himself,
wiping his nose to the back of his hand. “Everything is ok.”
But it’s not.
Nothing is ok.
In fact, it all feels significantly worse by the second.
He just wants everything to… stop. Just stop. Everything.
│►
“…I thought that I’d feel better by letting her know… you know? But that’s now what happened at
all. I felt terrible, I hated it and now I think that our relationship has gotten even worse.” his patient
says with a sigh and Taehyung blinks, looking down at his notes.
He didn’t listen to a single word so he tries to pretend to look for something, acts as though he’s
writing new information down so that it’s not too obvious that his mind isn’t there at all. Truth is,
he really can’t hear anything, he just sees his patient’s lips moving.
“Well— Uhm, do go on.” he instructs with a swift wave of the hand and the man nods as he
crosses his legs, ready to go back to his rant about his failing marriage. Taehyung can’t even try to
listen, can’t pay attention. He just can’t. It’s impossible today.
And he feels so bad because how can he be this unprofessional? His job is to listen, to show
interest, to help and be there. He’s not doing any of that when he’s too busy thinking about what he
shouldn’t be thinking during a session.
Because he most certainly shouldn’t be thinking about how Jungkook is doing on his own, he
shouldn’t be thinking whether Yoongi is still there or if he’s gone to work; if Jungkook is drinking
or taking it well, if he’s crying and angry or waiting for Taehyung to return to their apartment.
Probably not. He probably doesn’t even want to see him… ever again. Probably—
“Doctor Kim?” he hears and his head shudders as he’s brought back into reality. “Doctor, are you
listening? Is everything ok? You seem… off today. Are you alright?” the man asks, worried.
“Yes— Yes, of course, I’m sorry, I’m just… I’m feeling a little ill today but yes, of course, I’m
listening, please go on.” Taehyung tries to smile, sitting up straighter, but it’s more than obvious
that something is bothering him, bothering him way too much.
“There are only ten minutes left, we can resume this some other time…” Taehyung can’t even find
it in himself to fight against that suggestion. “I’ll just schedule another consultation, that should be
better, perhaps. You should probably go home and rest if you’re ill, doctor.”
“I think so too… and I’ll probably end my day as of now, I won’t be any help today. Please tell the
lady at the front desk that it’s on me, you won’t have to pay for the next time that you come here, I
will handle it.” Taehyung dismisses him, already closing his notepad.
“Nonsense, we barely have any time left anyway. Take good care of yourself, Doctor Kim, a lot of
people rely on you, especially here. I’ll get going now, but I’ll surely be back soon.”
“Alright, and I apologize again, this wasn’t professional of me, at all.” they both get up, bowing to
each other. Taehyung hates how he’s allowing his personal life to come between him and his
patients. That has never happened before, he’s never allowed it to.
So it pains him to see a patient leaving knowing that he hasn’t registered anything of what the man
said throughout the entire consultation. He wasn’t there, he just nodded and pretended to listen
while simply encouraging the man to go on and continue speaking.
He sighs as he sits back down, a hand nervously running through his hair as he thinks of what to do
now. It’s already obvious that, unless he solves everything with Jungkook, he won’t be able to just
go on with the rest of his day, especially not at work when he has to focus so much.
He can’t possibly stay for another session with another patient when he’s incapable of keeping his
own problems locked away for those forty-five minutes. He can’t listen to them when he can’t stop
thinking about Jungkook. He has to see Jungkook. That’s the priority.
Taehyung decides then. He’ll go back to the apartment right away.
They have to talk.
│►
“What’s gotten you so thoughtful?” Jimin asks as he leans against the doorframe but his best friend
doesn’t even look up at him, doesn’t hear it. “Tae?” he calls. “Taehyung.” louder this time.
“Oh— Yeah? Sorry, I was just thinking… have you been there for a long time?” Taehyung asks as
he crosses his legs on the bed, hugging a pillow close to his chest. He looks beaten-up.
“No, I just got here, but you looked like you’ve been in that position for hours.” and he has been
like that for about an hour already, staring at the floor. “What’s wrong?” Jimin asks in a lower
voice while walking towards the bed, where he sits next to his best friend. “Why did you come
earlier from work, to begin with? You didn’t even have dinner with us… are you ok?”
“I’m just— I can’t stop thinking about Jungkook. How is he? Is he ok?” Taehyung sighs. “I just
want to be there for him, we promised to always have each other’s backs and now… he’s there and
I’m here, he’s possibly alone, and I don’t even know what to do with myself at this point.”
Jimin nods ever so slowly, placing a hand on Taehyung’s thigh, where he gives a firm and
reassuring squeeze that he pairs up with a smile. “You—” he’s interrupted before he can speak.
“I couldn’t even focus on my patients today, that’s why I came home. I was no help. I was going to
go there instead, but I chickened out and drove here…” Taehyung sighs. “I just want to go to the
apartment and give him the tightest hug and apologize for being so incredibly stupid.”
“Then what the hell are you still doing here? Looking at the wall with that sad expression isn’t
going to solve anything, you dummy. Go back to the apartment and try talking to him.” Jimin taps
his thigh before gesturing to the door. “Go, don’t waste your time here dwelling on it.”
“He probably doesn’t even want to see me…” Taehyung sighs as he looks down. “He probably
hates me and with all due reasons… I don’t want to bother him even more by going to his
apartment where should be able to have his privacy… he probably doesn’t want to see me.”
“You won’t know if the ‘probably’ is legit or not unless you go there and see what he says. Get up
and go, meet him there, talk to him and fix what you did.” the blonde nods, gulping.
“What— What if it’s not fixable?” he whispers. “What if I can’t make it better?”
“Hyung absolutely adores you so much, I’m sure that he will understand or at least try to if you
explain why you reacted that way. It may be hard, but he really cares so much for you.” Jimin
smiles without really opening his mouth, gesturing to the door again. “Go, Tae, the more you drag
this, the worse it will be. Just go there and fix it as quickly as possible, okay?”
“Alright, I’ll go. If he kicks me out again, I won’t know what to do… he’s one of the most
important people in my life right now, I can’t just not see him ever again.” he says, tone
exasperated, while grabbing his belongings. “I genuinely won’t know what to do if he asks me to
leave and doesn’t even listen to me or if he kicks me out and tells me to find another place.”
Jimin shrugs. “Fix it and that won’t happen.”
“I’ll try to fix it if he even allows me to talk to him…” Taehyung sighs.
“He will.” Jimin smiles. “I’m sure that he will.”
“I’m… I’m not so sure.”
│►
Taehyung inhales sharply as soon as he finally opens the door after a few long minutes gathering
his courage, too nervous to see Jungkook right away, so he’s relieved to see Yoongi instead, feet
prompted on the center table and television remote in his hand.
“Where the hell have you been?!” he immediately gets up, walking closer with a rather confused
expression. “Why would you ever send me to take care of him and just not be here yourself? In a
state like this, you know that he doesn’t talk to anyone else but you. You know that.”
“He asked me to leave.” Taehyung gulps. “I didn’t think that he’d want me to return. He probably
doesn’t. He probably wants me gone” Yoongi sighs, pulling his hair back. “But I want to talk to
him, so that’s why I’m here... if you allow me to go there, that is.”
“Of course that you can go, if there’s anyone that he’ll talk to is you, so go on. He’s been in bed for
hours, I’m not sure if he’s sleeping or not, but you should go there.” he points towards the bedroom
door and Taehyung’s eyes follow the finger with a short nod. He has to do it.
“Alright.” Yoongi sits back down as Taehyung walks to the room, knocking twice before pushing
the door open. There’s a big lump in the middle of the bed, next to a sleeping Moon and Simba and
Taehyung’s breath hitches when their eyes meet in the dark room.
He closes the door after walking in. “Leave.” Jungkook says right away, a mere whisper that
sounds way too loud to Taehyung’s ears. Leave? Jungkook really wants him to leave?
“Please, Koo…” the older male just stares up at the ceiling, eyes swollen and reddened from
crying for hours and hours almost nonstop. “I uhm, I really want to talk, please.” Taehyung tries.
“I don’t want to talk to you, Tae. I really don’t.” he says with a rather groggy voice while still
avoiding eye contact like the plague. “So if you’re just— If you’re going to talk then don’t. I don’t
want to hear whatever it is that you want to say, just like I don’t want to speak to you right now.”
“Can I just sit down, then?” Jungkook sighs, gesturing towards the bed. Taehyung nods before
sitting down. It’s silent then, awkward, both looking at different places with racing minds and it’s
the first time that they feel uncomfortable in each other’s presence.
Taehyung plays with his fingers, gulping down the huge lump clogging his throat. Jungkook
doesn’t want him there, doesn’t want him to speak, doesn’t want him close. Jungkook is mad and
rightfully so, but he still is and it still hurts. Hurts even more knowing that it’s his fault.
He, who should do nothing but help the older man, is the very reason why he’s in such a bad state.
He’s the reason why he even lost his job in the first place. Everything is his fault. Jungkook looks
at the younger man when he hears a sniff and his eyes sting, too, again.
Taehyung’s crying and so is he. So has he been for the past day.
“I’m so freaking sorry, hyung.” Taehyung whispers, meeting his eyes.
Jungkook shakes his head before even acknowledging what he said. “Don’t.” it almost doesn’t
come out, the heavy tears blocking his speech. “Don’t.” he repeats, a little clearer now.
Taehyung shakes his head multiple times, trying to stop the cry from building up. He must make it
right. He has to. “I-I want to explain, I want you to know why I said what I said, I want to—”
“What’s there to say, Taehyung?” he interrupts, voice still soft and almost inaudible. “What’s there
to add? You’re angry that you live with someone who’s stolen things before, and you were
disappointed. There’s nothing to add.” Jungkook finishes with a broken chuckle, wiping the tears
away with his sleeve. “There’s nothing to fucking add to that, nothing.” his voice breaks.
“I’m not disappointed— I wasn’t. I was just so upset because it happened to you. After all, you’re
the greatest fucking person that I’ve ever met and you may never get what you deserve in life
because of what happened in the past, because of things that you had to do, not even wanted to do,
and it makes me so angry, because you deserve so much, hyung, so much. You deserve the world
and a stupid and careless action may have cost you that, and it makes me angry. You shouldn’t be
in this situation, you don’t freaking deserve it. I’m sorry, hyung, that’s why I reacted that way, not
because I’m disappointed, but because you— you deserve so much more.” he says with a tear
rolling down his cheek and he doesn’t even wipe it away. There’s no use.
They both stare at each other for a few seconds before Jungkook lets out a small sob and sits up to
be more at his eye level. “You forced it out of me, you told me that I’ll never—”
“Hyung, please believe me when I say that I was never disappointed, I was just really freaking
upset. You’re the last person that this should’ve happened to.” Taehyung sniffs. “I didn’t mean to
force it out of you, I was just… panicked and trying to process this. I acted so poorly. I know.”
Jungkook just stays silent before he lays back down and turns his back on him. Taehyung’s heart
cracks at that, his breath stops in his throat, not knowing what else to do. Jungkook doesn’t even
want to look at him. How can he solve this? How can he possibly solve this now?
Taehyung sniffs as he does his best to wipe his tear-wet cheeks and pets Moon before getting up
and walking out of the room. He has to solve everything. He has to be ok with Jungkook.
He needs to be ok with Jungkook.
“Hey, Yoongi?” Taehyung calls, still standing in the hallway. “You can go home, I’m staying here
now, it’s alright.” he indicates as he motions towards the front door. “I’ll take care of things.”
“You better take care of things, I’ve never seen him this upset over anything.” Yoongi gathers his
belongings, his voice dropping down just a little so that his best friend can’t hear. “You’re the
person that he trusts the most, don’t let that be a mistake.” is the last thing that he says before
leaving, Taehyung watching his retreating figure until he’s gone and the door is closed again.
He gulps. Maybe it was all a mistake anyway.
Accepting to live with Jungkook may have been his biggest mistake. Taehyung never wanted to
hurt the older man, and it happened, either way, so then maybe he should’ve never even moved in
together. Jungkook would be so much better off without him.
They’re too close to go back now and Taehyung can’t rest knowing that Jungkook is still hurt over
what he said. He has to make things right. Whether it was a mistake to move in or not, he’ll think
about it once this fight is solved. Maybe he can move out afterward if Jungkook decides that it’s
what’s best for his mental health and his comfort.
He goes back into the room then. Jungkook turns his head back for a second before facing away
again. “I thought that you had been the one leaving.” the man speaks, softly as always. Even when
angry his voice remains soft, which is something that Taehyung highly appreciates.
“I asked Yoongi to leave.” Taehyung informs. “He did. He’s going home, I’m guessing.”
“Maybe I didn’t want him to leave.” Jungkook says and the blonde stills for a second, giving it a
thought before looking down at his feet. He should’ve probably asked before telling Yoongi to
leave, but he wanted to be alone with Jungkook so that they both feel comfortable talking.
“Did you want me to leave instead of Yoongi?” he asks, even if terribly afraid of the answer that he
may get. If Jungkook agrees, he’ll probably just break down again. Right then and there.
“If you’re going to hate me again then yes, I do.” it becomes silent after he says it and Taehyung
strides to the bed, walking around so that he can sit on the side that Jungkook’s facing. Their eyes
meet then, just as he wanted them to. Jungkook’s eyes are very expressive.
“How can I make this up to you?” he whispers, tears back in his eyes. Jungkook looks up at the
ceiling before sitting up as well, their eyes on the same level now. He inhales before speaking.
“You’re the person that I trust the most, you’re the only one that I have ever opened up to in my
life. About whatever, you’re the only one who knows the smallest things about me, I put that
amount of trust on you, you’re my therapist and— my fucking best friend. I trust you and I tell you
things because you make me feel comfortable and understood. Two days ago, when that happened,
I didn’t tell you about me because I wanted to or because I felt like I could, I did because you
pressured me, because I felt judged and I only felt even more judged after I opened up. Now
imagine how much it fucking hurt, to open up to the only person that I can, to the one that I feel
like will always understand me, be there for me, and you go and—” he closes his eyes to inhale.
“It’s crazy how I don’t even want to speak now because I can see how you’re crying and it hurts
me but you didn’t even think twice before breaking me down.”
He finishes with a heavy inhale, completely out of breath, thick tears rolling down his cheeks.
Taehyung isn’t doing any different. “Hyung—”
“Now don’t ask me how to fix this. I never thought that it would even happen, I don’t have a
fucking solution.” Jungkook finishes, sniffing and wiping his cheeks with both of his sleeves.
Taehyung looks up with a shaky exhale. “I didn’t even think, you’re right about that one. I didn’t
think about anything other than your future being affected by a stupid teenage mistake. I wish that
you could have everything, anything that you want in life, and it broke my heart to know that you
may not be able to because of something that you had to do to get out of your own head. I’m so
sorry, I should’ve picked better words, I should’ve realized how it was affecting you but I didn’t,
and I’m so sorry, Jungkook. I wasn’t disappointed or mad at you, I was mad at the situation and I
couldn’t think and I just kept going without realizing what I was doing. I’m sorry.”
Jungkook stays silent, laying back down.
Taehyung nods. “I get it.” he sniffs. “You want me to go, I’ll go, I’ll go to a hotel, you don’t—”
“No.” Jungkook interrupts before he can finish.
Another sniff. “Sorry?”
“Stay.” Jungkook sighs into the pillow. “This is still your apartment as well and I’m not kicking
you out, it’s small but it’s big enough for us to have our own separate space.” own separate space
sounds horrible, but at least it’s something. Jungkook doesn’t completely hate him, he supposes.
He doesn’t have to move out, that’s something, right? Right?
“Okay.” Taehyung whispers. “Thank you, hyung.”
Silence settles again. Heavy and uncomfortable.
Taehyung gulps. “Why do I feel like I lost all of your trust?” he looks down at the older man who
simply looks away, fixing his blankets. Jungkook doesn’t confirm nor deny and that hurts even
more somehow. “Can I—” Taehyung stops. “I’ll uhm, go to the couch, sleep well, hyungie.” he
wishes, leaning down to press a kiss to Jungkook’s cheek but he turns his head to the side.
Just slightly but it’s still enough of an indicator that he doesn’t want any sort of kiss.
Taehyung leans away then. “Okay, good night. I’m sorry.” his voice cracks at the end, sounding
rather pathetic but he doesn’t care. It’s worse than what he initially thought. He has no idea of how
to solve things when Jungkook barely even looks at him in the eye.
That night, Taehyung cries himself to sleep on the couch.
That night, Jungkook is too embarrassed to leave the room again, too unmotivated to even get up
from the bed, so when the time comes for him to grab a bottle of whiskey and he finds his drawer
empty, he can’t bring himself to go to the kitchen to get a new one.
Even when he knows the outcome of such a decision.
So he sits up, determined not to sleep until the next morning when Taehyung leaves for work and
he can drink himself to sleep. He’s unemployed after all, it’s not like he has anywhere to go or
anything to do that isn’t related to Moon peeing or eating. That’s all that he has to do now.
Except, his plan doesn’t work as he intended. He’s too tired to keep himself awake, even after
slapping himself one too many times to try to keep his eyes open. He ends up falling asleep.
It’s about three in the morning when Taehyung wakes up to pained screams, mumbling words that
he can’t understand, and Moon whining; all of that coming from the bedroom. He runs to the door
in a split second, twisting the knob to no avail. It’s locked. Why is it locked? They never lock
doors for safety purposes. It should be open.
“Hyung?” he knocks. “Hyung, it’s me, open the door.” he knocks again. The crying stops all of a
sudden, replaced by silence, though Taehyung thinks that he hears a quiet ‘shit’ and some panting
coming from the inside. “Can you open the door, please?”
“No, I’m alright— go back to sleep.” Jungkook says, voice trembling.
Taehyung’s heart falls. “Koo, please, open the door, I just want to hug you to sl—”
“I’m ok.” Jungkook reinforces. “Just— Just sleep. Just leave, please.” Taehyung rests his forehead
against the door before plopping himself on the floor. Jungkook will probably leave for the
bathroom or to just get his whiskey soon so Taehyung can wait right there.
He’s crying, yes, but he’s still waiting.
Even when the waiting turns into hours and he can no longer keep himself awake, falling asleep
against the door. It’s for Jungkook, so it’s worth it. It also gives him the chance to run the possible
scenarios and ways to fix the situation, but thinking while crying and being so heartbroken and
paranoid doesn’t help or allow him to reach any conclusion.
He has no clue of what to do and he’s starting to really panic.
That’s how he falls asleep: panicking, crying, and all crooked against the door. Waiting.
Waiting for someone that just doesn’t come.
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 31 │►
Chapter Notes
Jungkook sighs for the umpteenth time while looking at the ceiling, pushing the sheets away to the
side to be able to get up from his bed. Moon has been staring at him while sitting in front of the
door for a few minutes already, clearly wanting to go outside to eat or just to have some water, and
he’s feeling increasingly worse for making her wait there, staring.
So he gets up, unlocking the door and pulling it open, his figure shaking and halting as something
falls by his feet. “Jesus—” he steps back, startled, making Taehyung fall to the floor completely
instead of leaning against his legs. Jungkook bends down to pick him up, lifting his shoulders from
the uncomfortable floor. “Hey, wake up.” he whispers in his ear. “Taehyung? Wake up.”
“Huh…?” he lets go as Taehyung slowly regains his consciousness. “What time is it…”
“Did you sleep there?” Jungkook asks. The younger man looks up at him, confused, before
immediately getting himself on his feet once he processes everything properly. Jungkook stays
silent, watching. He truly hops that Taehyung didn’t just sleep on the floor like that.
“You’re up.” Taehyung smiles. “I fell asleep waiting for you, I thought— yeah, I was waiting.” he
gulps, trying to muster up the very needed courage to speak again. “Koo, I want to apologize again
for pressuring you and for everything else that happened… you were drunk so I doubt you even
remember my apologies last night. We really need to talk about all of this… our therapist to patient
relationship became so messed up and we’re too involved now, that’s my fault, I wasn’t
professional enough to separate the two relationships that we had, I’m so sorry—”
“Taehyung, the problem is not us having become too close to still have a good therapist to patient
relationship. I’m ok with it, I’ve always been ok with what he had, the problem is what you did that
day. As my therapist, who should try to understand when I’m on the verge of breaking down like I
did, and as my best friend, who promised to always be there for me and to always have my back.
Where were those goddamn promises when you forced the truth out of me? Where, Taehyung?” he
inhales sharply, stepping back with a hand tugging at his own hair.
“I’m sorry. I don’t want you to close off or to hate me, I just… I don’t want us to become toxic to
each other, either, so if having me here is bad for you then I can leave.” Taehyung pleads. “I just
want us to be ok. You’re my best friend and you’re kind of the person that I feel the most
comfortable with as of now, so I treasure you as an individual even more than our friendship...”
Jungkook stays quiet, their eyes still connected. He just nods. “As I said, it’s your apartment as
well so I don’t want you to leave, but time is going to be a big factor. I need time, I don’t even want
to speak to you right now, I don’t want to be around you and I most certainly don’t want you
fucking up your back waiting for me to appear when I need my time to be by myself.”
“What do you mean you don’t want to talk to me…? You know that you can trust me.” Taehyung
takes a step closer, hand raising to cup one of Jungkook’s cheeks but he hesitates and drops it
instead, too nervous to face the possible rejection of the elder leaning away.
“Can I?” Jungkook chuckles. “Can I really?” Taehyung tilts his head, eyebrows furrowed in a
small frown, but he doesn’t feel like he can say anything. “Feel free to stay here, I don’t want you
to leave but… space and time are the only way that we’ll ever get any closer again.” he says. “You
really hurt me, Tae, you won’t just get my trust back all of a sudden and it still hurts. I—”
Taehyung interrupts by stepping closer and throwing his arms around Jungkook’s middle, his chin
resting on the older man’s shoulder.
For the first time ever, Jungkook doesn’t hug back.
“I’m so scared of losing you, hyung.” Taehyung whispers. “I’m so sorry.” Jungkook closes his
eyes, jaw becoming prominent as he bites down on his teeth, not even knowing what to say. He
doesn’t want to say anything. He really doesn’t want to speak at all.
Not to Taehyung, at least. So he remains quiet.
“Please, say something.” Taehyung pulls back, eyes glossy.
Jungkook has to force his own to keep the tears away. He doesn’t succeed. “It’s ok.” time and little
steps fix everything, don’t they? “It’s ok.” he repeats. No matter how hurt he is or how angry he
might feel, seeing Taehyung remotely upset hurts him a lot, still, and he can’t bear being the
reason behind it, even if it means faking a smile to make it better.
“It’s not ok, I know that you’re mad at me and you’re not letting it out, I know that you’re storing
it all because you don’t trust me anymore. I don’t know what else to say. I have apologized, I have
— I have explained why I said what I said, so why… why aren’t you saying something?”
“I have nothing to say.” Jungkook looks away.
“But you do. I know that you do.”
“Stop, you’re doing it again.” Jungkook accuses and Taehyung closes his eyes, nodding. “Just stop.
I need time. I don’t want to open up about anything right now.” it’s the last thing that he says
before he walks away, disappearing through the kitchen door. Taehyung furrows his brows.
That didn’t fix anything.
“Don’t open up, then. Just keep your promise.” Taehyung calls after him, who stops, reappearing
by the door, confused. “Honest, remember? I want you to be honest right now. You’re an honest
man, be honest, Jungkook.” Taehyung encourages, trying to look certain of his words when he’s
actually terrified of what may come next. “Be honest.” he whispers.
“You want me to be honest?” he asks then. “You want me to say how fucking angry I am that you,
of all people, you, who’s not only a therapist but also know about all of my problems, would
completely disregard my childhood trauma just like that? Want me to say that I cried for hours and
hours and that I felt completely and utterly betrayed and alone? That you caused that? That you
made me feel like shit? That I’m hurt and upset and even if I’m trying to fight this, just thinking
about sitting down with you again is making me feel pressured and anxious again? Is that what you
want me to say, Taehyung?!” Jungkook rants, voice growing just the slightest louder. “Why would
you want me to hurt you by saying that? I don’t understand why.”
“Because you’re just saying the truth.” Taehyung gulps. “The truth can hurt sometimes.” he sighs,
looking down. “I prefer your honesty over your silence and fake smiles.”
“What hurt the most is that you actually fucking left.” Jungkook finishes, turning around to the
kitchen counter where he rests his hands to take a sharp inhale. Taehyung just stares at his back
with his eyebrows furrowed, confused by the confession. Was he not supposed to leave?
“You asked me to go.” Taehyung whispers. Jungkook laughs with absolutely no humor, shaking
his head to himself as if that had been the most incredulous thing that he’s ever heard in his life.
“I’d never leave you.” Jungkook says, back still to him.
“I’m sorry, I thought that you hated me… I simply assumed that you’d be better off without me.”
“I just need space and time, not—” he stops. Not to be without you, he almost says, but refrains.
There’s no need to say that in such a moment. They’re both too emotional already.
“Am I… forgiven at all?” Jungkook sighs as he turns back to him, one hand pulling his hair back.
“I understand your explanation and I know where you came from, but that doesn’t change how hurt
I am or how your words affected me. So I really just need time, that’s the only thing that I ask from
you right now. I can’t say that you’re forgiven when it still hurts me. I’m sorry.”
“I can give you time.” Taehyung says with a thin voice, nodding ever so slowly. “I really care for
you, never forget that. I care a lot.” he reinforces. Jungkook just meets his eyes before looking
away and exiting the kitchen again. “I’ll call you for breakfast.” Taehyung announces, though he
doesn’t receive any response. That’s ok, he thinks.
Baby steps and time.
Time and space.
He can do that.
He can do anything if it means having Jungkook’s trust back.
│►
As Jungkook sits down on the table in front of his housemate, he tries to keep it as quiet as
possible, only sending a wink at Moon who waves her tail around at the attention. They both sit
there in silence, enjoying their breakfast.
Taehyung can’t take his eyes from the other man who, on the other hand, doesn’t look away from
his plate. “Do you want help distributing your resume?” he asks then, hoping for any type of
answer. He’s not sure of what can possibly come from the older man, but he’ll take anything.
“No, I can handle it.” Jungkook shrugs his shoulders, taking a sip from the bitter coffee where no
sugar has been added at last. Just how he likes it. He’s finally not grimacing after a taste.
“But I want to help.” Taehyung whispers, still sounding so loud in the quiet kitchen.
Jungkook sighs, putting his mug down. “You’ve done enough about this situation.”
Taehyung nods, looking down at his plate. “Alright, I’m sorry.”
Space and time.
Time and baby steps.
He can do it.
“I’m not hungry anymore, excuse me.” Jungkook pushes his plate back, leaving the kitchen with
fast strides. Taehyung can feel his tears immediately breaking free, unable to hold them for a single
second longer. He can’t do it. He can’t fucking do it.
“Hyung…” he calls. “Hyung, please, come finish your food.”
No reply.
He’s not hungry either.
“He’s really mad at me, baby.” Taehyung smiles halfheartedly at the large dog sitting right next to
him, resting back against his chair with a sigh. “The space that he needs would work way better if I
moved out… but we’re both too selfish to accept that, apparently.” he takes a piece of bread,
offering it to her, who’s quick to take it all in one bite.
“Just hope that at least the time factor will help.” if it’s meant to, it will, Taehyung believes.
He desperately hopes that it’s meant to.
He doesn’t know what he’s going to do if they realize that there’s no way back.
│►
“Pass me my phone, please.” Jimin points at the object sitting at the table and Hoseok stretches his
arm to be able to reach it and hand it over to his fiancé.
“Here.”
Jimin swipes his finger on the screen to pick up the call, immediately hearing the tiny sniffs from
the other side. “Taehyungie? How are you? What’s wrong? You didn’t call last night with updates
on the situation…” Jimin puts it on speaker, placing the phone down between them.
“He’s so mad at me, I have no idea of what to do.” Taehyung sobs on the line. “I just want to fix
things and go back to what we had, please, I don’t know what to do.” he sniffs, interrupted by a
small sob and they don’t even know what to say, Hoseok gaping like a fish out of water.
“Hey, breathe, I’ll meet you there in ten minutes. Breathe for me, Tae.” Jimin sits up immediately.
“Can you hold on for a few minutes? For me? I’ll be right there, I promise.”
“Y-Yes, please come.” Taehyung sniffs again. “I’ll wait.” it doesn’t take many more words before
the call is ended, Jimin turning to his fiancé with a worried expression. Hoseok rubs his eyes.
“The operation get-them-together is getting complicated.” Jimin chuckles, guilty, before slapping
his arm. “It’s good that this is happening, they’ve both been through shit and they couldn’t just
never have to face a problem between each other. They have to figure out how to solve and work it
out together as well, otherwise they will never be completely… dependent, I guess, and unable to
solve problems when it’s related to them and not outside things.”
“Yeah… I feel like this is necessary. Things can’t be all laughs and happiness, they both have or
had deep issues, especially Jungkook… they’ll only be able to really bond by working shit out and
figuring out their things.” Jimin agrees. “Being able to argue is a good thing, means that your
connection is strong enough to take a fight and a resolution. Fights are normal… we’ve fought a lot
at the start, we’ve just learned to deal with it and solve it quickly.”
“I remember when we’d fight over everything when we started dating…” Jimin hums. “They’ll
build a stronger foundation to get together, too.” Hoseok adds with a chuckle.
“Oh, God, yes. They’d be cute.” his fiancé giggles. “I’ll get going now, I have to console my sad
baby. I truly hope that they’re able to fix this, even if it takes time... Tae sounded broken.”
“They love each other. Maybe not like us — yet — but they do, so I’m sure and really hope that
they’re able to work this out. They’re both really strong so let’s have hope.” Hoseok sighs. “We
also can’t forget that Tae is a therapist, he’s good with communication, so… they’ll get there.”
“Yeah, I agree. They can work it out.”
│►
“C’mon, tell me what happened. From the beginning.” Jimin rubs his back, both sitting on the
couch as Taehyung basically curls into a ball on his friend’s lap. “You can tell me, bub.”
“I came to the apartment and he didn’t even want to see me, he didn’t want to talk to me, he just
told me how upset I’ve made him… which is good because I’m glad that he was honest. This is
the only way that we can solve things— but yeah. I left him to sleep and he locked himself in his
room… didn’t even let me in when he needed someone in the middle of the night.”
Jimin tilts his head. “What do you mean needed someone?”
“He… Well, he has night terrors and they can get pretty bad. I always calm him down when I’m
around but this time he didn’t let me in, he told me to leave… so I sat in front of the door and fell
asleep there.” Taehyung starts, breathing ever so slowly in between words.
“Did he reach for you while you were there?” he asks.
“No… I woke up to him opening the door and me just falling backwards, then I tried talking to him
and you may think that it’s impossible for me to know but believe me when I say that I could hear
the difference in his voice when talking to me. He closed up on me, he doesn’t trust me anymore. I
don’t— I don’t know what to do. Genuinely, Minie. I don’t know what to do.”
Jimin sighs, rubbing his friend’s back in reassuring circles. “I don’t know him so I really don’t
know how we can possibly solve the situation…” Taehyung sniffs, starting to lose hope.
“What if— What if there’s no way to fix it?” he whispers, voicing his biggest concern at the
moment. Just the simple thought of not being able to fix things with Jungkook terrifies him. He has
grown almost dependent on Jungkook’s presence, he doesn’t know what to think now.
“I may not know Jungkook but one thing I do know is that he loves you, just as much as you love
him.” Jimin smiles halfheartedly. “He wouldn’t just stop talking to you, it might take time and a lot
of patience, but you’ll get there eventually, if he truly hated you now he would’ve asked you to
leave his apartment and you’re still here, aren’t you?”
“Jimin… maybe I’m the problem. I lost Sik and now I lost Jungkook, maybe it’s—”
“Don’t you even dare finish that sentence. I can’t believe that you still think of that actual freaking
devil. He and Jungkook are not only polar opposites, but the situation is not the same at all. You
may have been at fault now, but Hyungsik not being around anymore is not your fault but his and
only his.” Jimin’s voice turns serious, not allowing Taehyung to even consider it.
“I know, I know, he was terrible and he’s not a good person, I know that, I don’t know why I said
that, I know— I know.” Taehyung shakes his head. Jungkook would understand him even referring
to Hyungsik again but he knows that Jimin won’t.
Jungkook is really one of a kind when being understanding, he always does or at least tries to.
“Are you not over him yet?” Jimin asks, both incredulous and curious. “Tae?”
“Emotionally, yeah, I care for him but… after realizing so much and by having Jungkook all the
time here, I grew another type of feeling rather than love, I would never go back to him. Now
mentally, not completely, sometimes I still… do things or act or— or even say things that are still
connected to him and the way that he treated me, which is horrible. He’s still… here, somehow.”
“Ok… now imagine yourself telling this to Jungkook and him judging you for it.” Taehyung looks
away, picturing the scenario, and his face shifts with a rather pained expression. “Yeah. Him
judging your trauma would be bad, wouldn’t it? Imagine what he felt…”
Taehyung shudders. “Gosh, I was so horrible to him. I keep realizing it over and over and it always
becomes worse.” he covers his face with his hands, letting out a shaky breath. “I really have to
make up for what I did, but I have no idea of how to do that.”
“It will take time.” Jimin adds. “Just don’t give up on it.”
“I wouldn’t. I’d never give up on him, he’s too good to give up on.” Taehyung sniffs again as the
tears come back, laying back down on his best friend’s lap. “I feel so bad, I feel so bad knowing
that he’s hurting, and that it’s because of me… to make it even worse. It’s my fault.”
Jimin opens his mouth but stops when they hear a key being inserted in the keyhole on the front
door. Taehyung’s hand goes to his mouth to stop a small sob. He’s rather pathetic, crying like he’s
not the one to blame for everything that is happening between them.
Still, knowing that it’s Jungkook arriving just makes him cry more.
Jimin hugs him closer. It doesn’t relax him.
Jungkook inhales deeply as he puts the keys on the door, twisting it to the side before pushing it
open. He’s immediately met with two pairs of eyes, Jimin hugging a crying Taehyung in what
looks like a tight hug. He opens his mouth to ask what’s wrong, why Taehyung is upset, if he‘s
hurt and if yes then why, but as realization sets, he just closes his mouth and the door at the same
time. “Hey, Jimin.” he greets. “Taehyung.”
“Hi, hyung.” the guest smiles brightly, taking a hand from Taehyung’s thigh to wave at him. “How
are you?” Jimin asks, still holding his smile, rather nervous about the answer that he may get.
“Existing. You?” he says nonchalantly, throwing his keys to the small table at the center.´
Jimin just shrugs. “I’m alright.” Jungkook nods before taking his jacket off.
“I’ll be in my room.” he informs, still looking at Jimin, but his eyes do briefly meet Taehyung’s
and he has to look away again. Seeing the younger man crying makes him want to sit down and
embrace him as tightly as possible. It hurts him deeply.
Taehyung opens his mouth, trying to stand up, but Jimin holds him down. “Give him space…” he
whispers once the older man disappears through the bedroom door. “It’s too fresh. The wound is
still open, give him some space...”
“When is it safe for me to approach him, then? How can I know when it will be ok for me to do
so?” Jimin sighs. “It’s an actual question…”
“Maybe wait for him to approach you instead...”
“I’m afraid that he won’t, though.”
“I’m sure that he will.” Jimin pats his thigh. “Either that or try to take small steps closer from now
on.” he suggests. Taehyung nods with a pout, hiding his face on his friend’s chest. “He’s just a
friend, anyways, so it sh—”
“No, Jimin, he’s not just a friend, he’s the closest person to me right now. It’s so weird, I trust you
guys as well but I’d literally trust him with my life. I can’t lose him.” Taehyung sits up. “Don’t
even consider it, I can’t have that happen, Jimin, I can’t.”
“I was going to say that it’d be worse if you two were dating or something, I know that he means a
lot to you but you’re not dating, is all.” Jimin is quick to defend himself, hands in the air.
“Oh. Yeah.” Taehyung deflates. “It still sucks that he hates me.”
“He doesn’t…” Jimin frowns.
“I’m not so sure of that…” Jimin sighs. He isn’t very sure either.
│►
Chapter End Notes
I'm sorry that this chapter is so short... let's discuss, tho...

◄│ 32 │►
Chapter Notes
“Good girl!” Jungkook hypes his dog up, rubbing the sides of her head to make her ears flop up
and down. Moon sticks her tongue out, which only makes her look cuter than ever, if you ask her
owner, at least. “Do you want to go again? Shall I throw it again?” he asks but doesn’t really wait
for a reply — since she can’t give him one, to begin with — before grabbing the ball now left on
the floor and throwing it again over the couch.
He laughs as Moon runs so fast after the toy that her paws slide on the pavement, making her trip
over herself on the way to the ball. “You’re so dumb.” Jungkook continues laughing, a hand now
over his stomach. She’s way too entertaining.
The young man clasps his hands together when she sits down staring at him with the ball in her
mouth. “Bring it back now.” and she does but lays down in front of him instead of putting the ball
on the floor. “No, bad girl, give me the ball.” he asks. “Moon, the ball.” still nothing.
“You were doing so well, what happened?” he mumbles, taking a hand to her mouth. Moon growls
but he knows that it’s just for show so he simply opens her mouth with one hand to take the ball
with the other. “When I throw a ball, you have to—” he stops when the doorbell rings and Moon
leaves him, running to the door, barking at whomever it might be. “Who is it, girl?”
It takes him a moment to get up and walk to the door, not really in the mood to see anyone other
than his dog and the cat that he has started to grow fond of. He opens the door, his eyebrows
furrowing instantly. “How in the actual fuck are you here?” Jungkook asks, voice full of surprise as
he sees his former coworker standing right there with the biggest smile.
“Hi—”
“How the hell did you find my apartment?!”
“Hello to you too.” Yugyeom frowns. “Maybe I illegally went through bosses’ files to see your
address to visit you because I miss— You have a puppy! Hi, puppy!” and, just like that, his
attention is completely off of Jungkook, Moon being far more interesting. Understandably so.
“You what— What the fuck.” he just stares, wide-eyed, as Yugyeom offers a hand for Moon to
sniff before he pets her. “I can’t believe that you’re actually standing in front of my damn door.”
“Mask your happiness a little better, I’m not used to so much affection from you.” the man rolls his
eyes, upset with the poor reaction that he’s getting. “I thought that we were buddies.”
“We were never buddies, but come in, come in, since you’re already here.” Jungkook steps aside to
let him in, gesturing to the living room. Yugyeom hums as he walks past him, already taking off
his jacket to make himself more comfortable.
“I accept a coffee.” he announces without having been offered anything and Jungkook has to take a
deep breath in. It’s really not the best timing to receive visits, but Yugyeom has no fault in the
situation, he didn’t do anything to get Jungkook in a bad mood or to get him close to a breakdown
the whole day, so he can’t snap at him, he can’t just be rude for no reason.
“A coffee it is.” Jungkook agrees, tilting his head to the couch. “Sit down, I’ll bring it over in a
second.” he watches as the other takes a seat, petting a sleepy Simba right away. “Sugar?”
“Three spoons, please.” Yugyeom says without even looking at him, too focused on the two pets.
“Three— Diabetes is going strong, man, I can imagine.” he mumbles, being met with nothing but a
laugh and a middle finger. “Give me a second.” Jungkook excuses himself.
“Of course.” he waves him off, bending down to play with Moon yet again. Jungkook just goes
into the kitchen, working on the two coffees for both of them. Yugyeom takes the opportunity to
look around. He observes his surroundings, the pets, and the apartment, taking every detail in. He’s
curious, way too much, perhaps, but it’s entertaining and it’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
Jungkook may never welcome him in again, that’s just how it is and he knows it.
It takes about a minute or two for the young man to return, two coffee mugs in his hands, one of
which he holds for his visit. “Thank you, what a good host, thanks for inviting me.”
“You weren’t invited but sure, yes, you’re welcome.” he jokes as he sits down as well, a polite
distance between them. “So, what in the world did you come here for?”
“I’m here to check in on you, my friend. I was worried about how you’d be doing now that you lost
the job… Have you started looking for another one yet?” Yugyeom asks after taking a big sip of
his coffee. Jungkook wants to sigh, but he knows that it’ll get him more questions, so he holds back
from doing so. He doesn’t want to talk about getting fired.
“Yeah, I have been looking.” he lies. It’s not a complete lie, but it’s also not the truth. He sent his
résumé to a bunch of places but he was too embarrassed by it to actually hand the papers out.
“Any luck?” his friend asks.
Jungkook shrugs. “Not just yet.” all the replies he was able to get so far, weren’t positive. It didn’t
come as a surprise, either way. “Maybe in the future, I’ll get a yes, I don’t know.” he says with
little to no hope. He’s aware of how terrible the situation is and how impossible it is to imagine
himself succeeding. He’ll forever be unemployed now, he knows that much. He’s aware.
“Maybe I can help to distribute your papers.” his eyes grow wide, worried, and he’s quick to wave
a hand in denial. “What? Is that a no? Do you not want my help?”
“No, no, no, I got it under control, really.” Jungkook immediately says. He truly doesn’t want to
have someone else finding out about the dirt in his criminal record. “My friends are already
helping, so don’t worry.” a lie. Yugyeom doesn’t have to know that, though.
“Alright then, I’ll let you know if I see any place looking for a worker or something. I hope that
you’re able to find something, you’re too cool to go through bad things.” Yugyeom pats his
shoulder and Jungkook chuckles.
“Being cool means nothing— You know what, I won’t explain deep things to you, who just can’t
process anything remotely not shallow.” he half-jokes and Yugyeom gasps, forging offense, as he
turns to his side to face him properly. Jungkook tries not to laugh.
“For your information—”
│►
“...and the new dude is actually just an asshole, he’s almost five years younger than me, but he
thinks that he’s superior or whatever and I can’t stand him, I just can’t.” Yugyeom goes on with his
rant, hands flying all over the place to exaggerate his words just some more.
“He was fast on replacing me, I see.” Jungkook mumbles. A part of him still held onto the weak
and stupid hope of maybe being needed and therefore called back. Now that’s certainly not
happening, his spot has already been taken, just two days after. He’s so easily replaceable.
“He didn’t replace you in my heart if it makes you feel any better.” Yugyeom places a hand on his
shoulder, leaning in for a hug to which Jungkook doesn’t react, just laughs, letting him do
whatever. He doesn’t push him away, which is a surprise to both of them.
“If anything, that makes it worse.” he jokes. “But it’s alright, I’ll have to find some other place to
work at… it won’t be easy but—” Jungkook stops with a sigh. “Forget it.”
“What do you mean it won’t be easy? You’re responsible, mature, and very competent. You’re also
handsome, that helps if the person hiring you takes an interest.” he wiggles his eyebrows.
“Yeah, there’s a lot about me that you don’t know. Thanks for the compliment, though.”
“The only reason why I know so little of you is because you don’t tell me anything. I’d like to be
able to understand you and be your buddy, you’re the one who doesn’t let me.” Yugyeom frowns.
“It’s sad, I genuinely like you and your company, I wish you’d be more open to it.”
“I—” he stops talking as they hear noises coming from the front door and Jungkook lets his eyes
move to the floor. He knows that it’s Taehyung and he also knows that they’re still not on good
terms. It pains him to even think about it.
“Oh, hey!” Yugyeom greets, already getting up. “How surprising seeing you here.” he smiles.
“I should be the one saying that given that this is s my— Right, yeah, you too.” the blonde
chuckles, bowing to the unexpected visit. “Hey, Koo.” he turns to the other, hoping for a reply.
Jungkook just tilts his head up slightly, seemingly upset. He is upset. Very much so. Yugyeom
misses it, not even feeling the sudden tension in the living room. “I just hope that you really had
something important going on the other day since I lost my good coworker right here because he
was worried shitless over you.” Taehyung’s eyes drift to the man in question.
Jungkook’s eyes shine with something Taehyung can’t quite place, but he doesn’t speak.
“I’ll be in— I’m going to work for a bit. Excuse me…” Taehyung points towards the bedroom
before bowing and leaving the room without even registering Yugyeom’s answer. The latter
scratches the back of his neck, not really understanding why Taehyung dismissed him so quickly.
Jungkook turns to him as soon as the youngest is out of sight. “You really don’t know when to shut
up, do you?” he asks, rhetorically. “Why would you say that shit? That was so unnecessary.”
“Did I say something wrong? It was just a joke.” Yugyeom leans away when a hand swats the back
of his head, strength barely there, not with the intent of actually hurting. “Sorry if I upset your bab
—” Moon barks, getting both of them to look towards the bedroom door again.
She whines, running there just seconds after to paw at the door. Jungkook immediately gets it.
There are not many things that can get Moon crying. He knows what’s happening right away and,
as angry and hurt as he may be, he can’t stand the thought of what’s going on in there.
“Oh, well, it was nice seeing you, but I’m going to ask you to leave now, it’s been hours and I have
things to do.” Jungkook gets up, clapping his hands once. “Get’s get you going, c’mon.”
“What kind of host are you? Kicking me out—?” he complains as he gets up too, looking at the
hand holding his arm and already guiding him out, towards the front door. Jungkook grabs the
jacket on the way, handing it over. “Can’t I stay for like, dinner or someth—”
“That won’t be possible tonight, maybe some other time.” Jungkook smiles. “Right, bye, thank you
for coming. I enjoyed it, but please never come back without announcing your visit.” he waves at
his former coworker who’s now standing on the other side of the door.
“I’m starting to believe that you’re just kicking me out.” Yugyeom squints.
“No, I actually have things to do. Sending off résumés and all of that crap.” he smiles again.
“You’re smiling weirdly.” Jungkook drops his smile at the mention.
“Just leave already.” Yugyeom laughs. “Come by some other day, I will stay unemployed possibly
forever so you can find me here, most likely on the couch.” he shrugs. “Just let me know
beforehand, but you’re welcome to come here anytime…”
“Don’t be so negative, I’m sure that you’ll find something soon.” Jungkook wants to laugh. He
does. It’s a little too sad for him to do so, though, and he fears that he may cry if he laughs.
“Yeah. Anyway, bye.” he waves again.
“Bye, Jungkookie.” as soon as Jungkook is able to close the front door, he’s following the same
path that Moon took just a moment prior, a hand quickly reaching for the door handle. The door
isn’t fully closed, so the younger doesn’t even hear him approaching.
Jungkook leans against the door frame, crossing his arms as he watches in silence, unsure of
whether to speak or just leave again. Taehyung is sitting in bed with his back towards him, Moon
patiently sitting there too, keeping him company as she always does.
It’s a small sniff that gets Jungkook to make a decision: he will speak. “I don’t blame you.” he
says, startling Taehyung, who turns to him with red eyes. “For getting fired. I don’t blame you for
that.” the younger sniffs again, taking a second to collect himself to speak.
“Maybe you should.” Taehyung whispers, clearing his throat. “It was my fault, if I had texted you,
you wouldn’t have left work and, consequently, you wouldn’t have been fired. It was my fault,
you’d still be working there and— and nothing would’ve happened and you and I would still be ok,
you would still be talking to me and literally none of this would’ve happened.”
“You would end up knowing about it so the fallout would be the same.” Jungkook speaks in the
same low tone, not wanting to completely break the silence. It’s the most comfortable that he’s felt
in the apartment in the past two days. Still extremely awkward, but better.
Taehyung looks down. “If I hadn’t even accepted you for the sessions… you’d be so much better.”
Jungkook gulps. That’s not true at all. He may be hurt, but Taehyung has helped him in way too
many ways for him to regret getting his therapy sessions.
Still, he doesn’t say anything about it.
“Would you?” Jungkook turns the question around, ignoring the pained expression on the other’s
face at his silent confirmation. He didn’t even mean it. “Would you be doing better?”
“You know that I wouldn’t be better if you hadn’t— This is really not about me, though. It’s about
you and how it is my fault that this is happening to you.” Taehyung gets up, taking a few steps
closer. His strides are hesitant, careful. Jungkook’s rejection hurts too much. “Only my fault.”
“Again, I don’t blame you, I’d never think low of you.” Jungkook looks away as soon as he lets the
words out, the irony of the situation making him chuckle. “I’m just embarrassing myself further
right now.” he shakes his head as he turns around, heading to the door once again.
“Hyung, wait.” Taehyung calls after him, a hand holding onto his forearm. “Do you— Do you
want to just— Can we sit down and talk… Please?” Jungkook bites the inside of his cheek for a
second, sighing. He wants to, God does he want to act like everything is ok and just wipe those
tears out of Taehyung’s eyes, but he can’t. He can’t pretend, he can’t lie. He has to be honest.
“No… No, I don’t want to.” he takes his hand to his own forearm, carefully removing Taehyung’s
fingers from where they still loosely hold him. “I just wanted to tell you that I don’t blame you for
getting me fired, don’t listen to what Yugyeom said, he’s always saying some bullshit.”
“Okay.” Taehyung whispers. “I’m sorry for bothering you… I just— I just wanted to talk to you
for a bit.” he take a step back then, easily getting the message. Jungkook looks at the floor before
meeting his eyes for just a long second. Then he leaves the bedroom with no other word said.
Taehyung doesn’t insist anymore, he just lets the older man walk away; even if it hurts, he just
watches Jungkook as he closes the door behind himself, Moon following him on his way out.
He sighs. Baby steps, that’s all.
Slow baby steps.
│►
“Hey, hyung?” Jungkook looks up from his phone where he’s back to checking his emails, which
just means that he’s reading through rejection after rejection, and he finds Taehyung leaning
against the kitchen’s door frame. “I made dinner.” he informs with a little smile.
“Thank you, I’ll eat later.” Taehyung’s hopeful expression falls immediately, shoulders sagging as
Jungkook goes back to his phone, face void of any sort of emotion. Completely unreadable.
“Can you please have dinner with me?” he tries, stepping closer until he’s standing just two feet
away from the couch. “I cooked one of your favorite meals… It will get cold if we don’t eat it now
and it’s not as good when it’s just microwaved…” the younger tries to persuade him.
“Thank you, but I’m not hungry right now, I’ll eat later.” Jungkook denies it again without even
meeting his eyes. Taehyung nods with a gulp. He has to understand and work his way around the
direct rejections, that’s the smartest thing to do. He doesn’t want to accept them, though.
“I’ll eat later too, then.” that does make Jungkook look up, shaking his head.
“You can have dinner now.” Jungkook says and Taehyung pouts, sitting down on the couch,
keeping some space in between them since he doesn’t want to annoy Jungkook even more.
“I want to eat my meal with you, though.” the elder sighs, locking his phone before getting up from
the couch. Taehyung smiles. It’s small and halfhearted, but he had a big reason to smile right now:
he’s just made some progress. Maybe.
Maybe messed it all up even more, who knows.
When he joins Jungkook in the kitchen, he’s already sitting down in his usual place, looking at the
pan as if questioning whether to serve himself or wait for the other. Taehyung takes the
opportunity to do it himself, taking the lid off and proceeding to serve both of them.
Jungkook barely mutters a single thank you, picking up his chopsticks. Taehyung sits down as
well, grabbing a pair of chopsticks. “How was your day?” he tries. Jungkook looks up from his
plate for just a second to shrug and quickly looks at his food again, swallowing.
“Alright. Yours?” at least it’s an answer, he guesses. It’s better than silence.
“I had some trouble focusing on patients today, but it was alright, I was able to help them
nonetheless.” Taehyung shares with a tentative smile. He doesn’t want to bug him too much.
“Good.” Jungkook’s voice sounds as void of emotion as ever and Taehyung has to think of
something new to talk about. He doesn’t want the silence, he hates the silence right now.
“Did anyone reply to your email?” Jungkook puts his chopsticks down, sighing. “What’s wrong?”
“Yes, I got some replies. Only people like you, though, saying that, with that shit in my criminal
record, it won’t lead me anywhere.” Taehyung stays silent. People like him. “It wasn’t that fun to
read and that’s all that I’ve been reading the whole day. Rejection and judgment.”
“I’m sorry that you’re going through this…” he whispers.
“Don’t. You didn’t lie, at the end of the day, so I can’t be mad that you told the truth. Don’t
apologize for the message, apologize for the delivery.” Jungkook wipes his mouth with the napkin.
“I’ll be unemployed forever now, that’s how it is and you simply put it into nice words.”
“We’ll find a solution.” Taehyung guarantees, frowning when the other gets up, pushing his plate
as if he’s done with the food already. “Jungkook, sit down, please.” he whispers, to no avail.
“Thank you for the food, it was very tasty.” Jungkook still says. “Please leave the plates, I’ll clean
everything once you’re done here.” he sniffs, eyes just starting to well up with tears.
“Hyung…” Taehyung holds his hand when he tries to walk away from him. “Will we ever be ok
again?” Jungkook lets their fingers intertwine so that he can squeeze Taehyung’s hand, keeping
them like that for a few seconds before pulling away without a single word.
And Taehyung watches him go, looking down at his hand once Jungkook’s out of sight. What did
that mean? Did it even mean anything at all? He can still feel the warmth of his hyung’s hand
holding his, the soft yet reassuring squeeze that leaves him nothing but questions of whether that
was an unspoken promise or if that didn’t mean anything at all.
Taehyung can only hope for it to be the first.
He can’t bear the thought of losing Jungkook forever.
│►
“Koo?” he looks back to the bed, giving her a reassuring smile. “Why did daddy hurt you like
that…? You have an ouchie now…” Jungkook chuckles through his tears, wiping them away
before closing the bedroom door with the key to make sure that they’re safe in there.
“Dad didn’t hurt me, everything is alright, little one, you shouldn’t be worrying about it. It’s past
your bedtime already, let’s get you sleeping or mom will be upset...” he says as he tucks her petite
body in his bed, Mya not wanting to spend the night alone.
“But you’re crying…” she still points out. “And it’s past your bedtime too, you’re still—” she
shows an eight with her fingers, having four on each hand. “You’re only this big.”
“Eight is bigger than five anyways.” Jungkook shows his tongue, tasting copper from the cut on
his lip. “Let’s sleep then, I’ll lay down too.” he glances at the door again, gulping down hard. It
doesn’t take long for them to hear knocks on the door.
Mya immediately hides against his chest and Jungkook hugs her back, just as scared.
“Jungk—”
“—ook? Jungkook, hey, hyung, wake up.” he opens his eyes in a split second, feeling two hands on
the sides of his face, one of them wiping what he guesses are tears. “You kept calling me, are you
alright? You kept calling for my name… I came here as soon as I heard it. Sit up…”
“I kept what—” he sits up, pushing the hands away. “Mya— fuck.” Jungkook pulls his dark hair
back, the crease between his eyebrows growing deeper than ever. “Go, go back, go to bed.”
“But I want to help you, hyung, what did you dream of…? Talk to me.” Jungkook shakes his head
repeatedly, gesturing for him to walk back even though tears continue to stream down his face.
“I-I don’t want to talk about it, go away, I don’t want to tell you about it, just leave me alone, I
don’t want to talk to you.” Taehyung frowns, eyes stinging as they brim with tears. God, how it
hurts to hear Jungkook say such things. He’s never imagined this happening to them.
“Okay.” he takes a few steps back but turns around again. “Jungkook, if you’re not drinking
because of me, then I’m really sorry, I don’t want you to hurt yourself just because we’re in a
fight.” Taehyung whispers, eyeing the older man. “If you have to drink… then d-drink.”
“This is really not a good moment.” Jungkook whispers back. “Just leave, go away, I want to be
alone.” the younger sighs with a short nod, walking away to the door. It’s the way that he
immediately hears a sob as soon as he’s out of there that has his heart breaking into pieces.
He wants to be there and to hold Jungkook but he can’t. He’s not allowed to. And it’s all his fault.
He wonders if Jungkook will ever actually trust him again. He desperately hopes so, if the hand
gesture at dinner meant anything at all, Taehyung believes that there might be change, that there
might be hope, even if it hurts now, if his heart aches and tears stream down his cheeks as he hears
Jungkook crying in the living room all by himself.
“Baby steps, Taehyung.” he tells himself so that he doesn’t open the door again. “Baby steps.”
Baby steps.
That’s all that they need, right?
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 33 │►
Chapter Notes
“We have reviewed your résumé, but we’re sorry to inform you that—” he stops reading, closing
the e-mail and the laptop with a rather aggressive gesture. He regrets it right away as he doesn’t
want to break the computer, much less given the fact that it’s Taehyung’s, but it’s frustrating.
His eyes meet Moon’s, who watches quietly from where she sleeps. “Yeah, this is really not going
well at all, girl...” Jungkook chuckles quietly. Then he lets out a tired sigh, stopping for a second to
recollect himself before opening the computer yet again, ready to continue reading more
disappointing e-mails just for a while longer; ruin his mood even more, one could say so.
He stops when his phone goes off, pulling his attention off of the laptop. Yoongi’s name and
picture on the screen are the only reason why he actually gets up to get his phone, placing it to his
ear. “Hey.” Jungkook greets with little to no enthusiasm.
“Hey Kooks, how are you?” Yoongi questions, sounding just as lively as usually.
“Going mad.” he decides to be honest. “I’m reading the e-mails in answer to my résumé and they
all say the same shit. Not to mention how things remain awkward as hell in here so I can’t even
vent about how frustrated I feel, I just want to—” Jungkook stops with a sigh. “Forget it.”
“Get away from all of that?” Yoongi tries to finish his sentence, getting nothing but silence from
the other side. “You know that you can come to stay at mine, I have no problem with that…” he
bites down on his bottom lip, looking towards the sleeping dog as he goes over the idea.
“Can I take Moon with me? Just for one night, I’ll leave tomorrow.” Yoongi chuckles.
“You can stay for as long as you want to so, of course, bring her in. I think that I even have some
dog food left so it’s all good, just come and I’ll wait for you.” Jungkook stays quiet for a second
too long, hesitating. “You two need some time apart, Jungkook.” he closes his eyes because it’s oh
so obvious as to why he’s even considering leaving his apartment. “I know that you adore him and
that you don’t want to leave even if you’re hurt, but this shit won’t get better and move forward if
you two stay in each other’s spaces constantly. You need space, Kooks.”
“But—” Jungkook stops. He knows that his best friend is right, he doesn’t have a single thing to
use to defend another idea. “Ok… I’ll be going now, expect me to be there in an hour or something
close to it, I only have to change clothes and I’ll be on my way.”
“Do you want me to pick you up?” he offers. Tempting.
“No, no, thank you, but I need to breathe in some fresh air… and to think, so I’ll just— I’ll just
walk with Moon. She likes long walks and I need the distraction.” Yoongi only gives him a hum on
the other side. “Also, can you maybe call Seokjin for him to meet us up there, too?”
“Of course, I will. Come safely, alright?” Jungkook smiles with a short nod, not even thinking of
how his friend can’t see him doing so. He closes the laptop, getting up from the couch and
gesturing for Moon to follow. She goes after him, tail wagging excitedly from side to side.
“I’ll get ready now. I’ll just write something down for Taehyung so that he knows not to wait up
for me before sleeping. It feels wrong to just leave without saying anything…” he drags.
“You have all the rights to. Especially now, given the situation.” Yoongi sighs. “But yeah, inform
him… Leave a sticky note or just text him so that he knows that you’ll be spending the night.”
Jungkook nods to himself again. “I will.”
│►
“...I seriously had to ask her to leave my house, she actually thought that her case had any
salvation, I almost laughed in her face.” Seokjin goes on, telling the newest drama revolving
around a client. “And then—” he stops when Jungkook takes a small flask filled with whiskey
from his pocket, pouring some into his coffee mug.
“Kooks—” Yoongi starts but his voice gets caught. “I think that it’s time we do an intervention.”
Jungkook chokes on the coffee, some of it dripping from the corners of his mouth. “Yeah.”
“Guys, no.” he tries to shut it down right away. “I don’t need an intervention, I’m very well aware
of everything.” Jungkook waves a hand, dismissive. “There’s really no need to lecture me on what I
already know, let’s just please act like nothing is happening, please.”
“Kooks, we can’t possibly do that.” Jin is the one speaking this time. “Yoongi and I had a
conversation about this the other day and we couldn’t help but to wonder… how is your liver
holding up? Do you have pain? Do you have any health problems and you just don’t want us to
know about or something? We want to know if you’re sick, please tell us. Do you have pain?”
“My liver is fine… somehow. Nothing hurts, I promise.” Jungkook assures. “You two really don’t
have to worry, I’m fine. I know that I’ll end up not being fine and fucking my liver up, I know that
I’ll probably have a bunch of problems once I’m old but, as of now, I’m alright.” he tries.
Yoongi sighs. “You drink way too much… have you considered rehabilitation? We can find you a
really good place… At this point, it’s clearly become an addiction. I don’t want to use such an ugly
word, but this is alcoholism… I don’t— We can get you the help that you need.” Jungkook looks
down at his lap. There’s only one person that knows why he drinks.
“I don’t want to stop drinking. I need it…” he whispers the ending, his best friends almost missing
it. That answer does nothing but confuse them further, the two sharing a clueless look.
“I don’t understand why there is a need, no one needs addictions. No one needs to smoke, no one
needs to drink, we do it because we can, and well, some of us enjoy it. You may enjoy getting
drunk, but you’ll never need it.” Jungkook closes his eyes as Seokjin speaks.
They don’t know anything.
“What does Taehyung think of your drinking habits? He’s a doctor, so we can trust his opinion and
he has a better judgment than we do, given he knows more…” Yoongi bites the inside of his cheek
as he inquires, knowing that the name mentioned isn’t going to be taken that lightly.
“Taehyung… he doesn’t like that I drink, but he understands why I do it. He knows the reason why
I drink so much, he knows… uhm, he knows why there’s a need.” Jungkook looks away as he
grows shy. “And I wish that we weren’t talking about this, it makes me uncomfortable.”
“And I wish that I didn’t have to worry about such things and yet I do, so accept our concerns. I
love you and I have understood that pressuring you only makes everything worse, but I’m going to
let you know one thing: you’re ruining yourself and you’ll end up in a state where you can’t say
that you’re healthy. All just because you, well, think that you need to drink.”
“I left my apartment because I wasn’t feeling well there and I’m feeling even worse here, can we
drop the fucking topic?” they both go silent. “I get it, I’m an unemployed drunk who will also end
up with major health issues if I don’t stop drinking, I get it, now drop it. I’m not stupid, I know the
consequences of my own fucking acts.” he says, considering getting up and leaving.
“What would the reason be? Why is it a need? Please tell us so that we can understand you better.”
Seokjin suggests but Jungkook doesn’t think that he’s ever heard such a bad idea.
No. No and no.
He doesn’t want to open up. He doesn’t want to open up to them.
He doesn’t want to talk about his family. There’s way too much involved in just that answer.
He doesn’t want to give it to them. Not now, not ever.
“Can we just go back to talk about your clients?” he whispers, voice close to a plea. Yoongi sighs
as Seokjin rubs his eyes, both having no idea of how they’re going to get through Jungkook’s thick
walls and learn more about him, figure out how to help to get him help.
“Sure.” the lawyer gives up.
Yoongi just watches as Jungkook takes a sip from his polluted coffee, not even flinching when he
swallows such strong-smelling drink. At least Jungkook is aware of what he’s getting himself into,
he’s aware that it will end up biting him in the ass when he least expects it to.
Self-awareness is the first step. They’ll get there.
│►
“Hyungsik?” he turns to the door and so to his new secretary, fixing her with a look of both
confusion and annoyance. He hates when people come into his office without knocking. “You
have been called, sir. I tried sending a text instead, but—”
“Who called? Jesus, woman, do you not know how to do your job? You accept the call, ask who it
is and, if it’s important, transfer it to me. You’ve been here for a full week already, goddamn it.”
he punches his desk and the woman flinches, taking a step back. “These mistakes are—”
“I’m sorry, sir, but it was Mr. Choi, he wants you to visit his office as soon as possible.” he turns to
her again. “And he sounded quite angry, sir.” she informs, looking down. “He told me in person,
not through call, that’s why I couldn’t pass the call to you… I really apologize, sir.”
“You can leave now.” he waves her off, going back to typing away in his computer. “I’ll go to his
office in a second.” the lady nods, bowing even if he can’t see, before leaving. As soon as the door
closes, Hyungsik gets up to fix his suit back to perfection, taking a small comb from the first
drawer to fix his hair as well, making sure that everything is more than ready to see his boss.
Hyungsik leaves his office with his chest puffed out and chin held high, his dress shoes making a
loud sound with each step that he takes on his way to the office at the end of the hall. He clears his
throat, fixing his suit just one last time before knocking. “Come in.” he hears and so he pushes the
door open. His boss stands up once he sees who it is. “Hyungsik. Come in.” the man greets.
“Good morning, Mr. Choi. I heard that you wanted to see me?” the older man gestures to the chair
in front of his desk, going around it to sit down again. Hyungsik just does as he’s told.
“I’m not going to beat around the bush because, quite frankly, I don’t even want to try to be polite
to you. A complaint was filed against you by six employees.” he starts. “The maximum that you
can have is three, as you know. Given that you already had one, that leaves you with seven
complaints against you.” Hyungsik tunes out for a second, shaking his head to focus again.
What? “What was it about? I don’t get it.” his boss leans away to grab the files, looking at them for
a brief moment before pushing it over on the desk with an incredulous chuckle.
“All of them, except the first one that was already there, included harassment. Your previous
secretary came back yesterday just to file it and justify as to why she quit her job in the first place,
and I suppose that her decision encouraged everyone else to come forward with theirs.”
“That’s bullshit—”
“Watch your mouth, I don’t tolerate this kind of language in here.” his boss raises his tone just a
little, sounding more assertive. “You can only imagine what happens now, I can’t keep someone in
here that clearly is a hazard to my workers.” Hyungsik gapes. No. No.
“Sir, you can’t just fire me because a few jealous bitches decided that they can team up and try to
ruin my life. I’m the head of my department, you can’t just fire me.” he tries, losing his cool.
“That’s where you’re wrong. I can just. In fact, I can do whatever I please given that this is my
company.” he opens the second drawer, taking out a few papers, his own copies of the complaints.
“This is one of them, would you like me to read it?” his boss rhetorically asks, already putting his
glasses on. “As I walked across the hall, Mr. Park grabbed my arm as he began—”
“That has never happened.” he immediately interrupts.
“We checked the security cameras of the days in question.” the older man stores all the papers yet
again, resting his elbows on the surface of the desk. “You’re fired, Mr. Park, in case it hasn’t been
clear enough. Please collect all of your belongings and leave the perimeters.”
“You can’t do this, you need me.” Hyungsik says, louder. He can’t accept it. He just can’t.
“Actually, I don’t need you. I already have a replacement ready to take over once you leave, so
please hurry on doing so, your payment will be transferred for the last time before the ending of
tomorrow.” he opens his laptop, deeming the conversation as finished. Hyungsik scoffs.
“You fucking listen to me, you can’t fire me. I’ve been working here for so long, I have a lifestyle
that I have to support, I can’t just lose my fucking job.” he gets up, slamming his hands on the
desk. “You need me even more than I need you, so you should stop to t—”
“Mr. Park, this is just embarrassing. Don’t make me call security to remove you, and leave by
yourself instead alongside some dignity.” Hyungsik scowls. “You’re just proving me right.”
“You’ll regret this.” he rasps out.
“I won’t, you can go now.” his boss looks back down at his laptop, obviously uncaring for
whatever that he may have to add. “Collect your things and leave. You have twenty minutes to be
out of the building before I call security. All the paperwork will be sent to your address.”
“Fuck off, I don’t need this.”
“Then you should be able to leave even faster.”

│►
“You can’t imagine how excited we are, we’re so excited to see you in a few days! It’s going to be
amazing, I’m going to hug you so, so tight.” she squeals. “I can’t wait! I miss you so much.”
“I miss you guys, too.” he smiles, struggling a little to open the front door while still holding the
phone safely against his ear. “I’m also excited, I haven’t seen you in months… I just want to hold
you.” Taehyung opens the door carefully so that Moon doesn’t escape to bark in the halls, brows
furrowing in confusion when he doesn’t see the large dog approaching. Where is she?
Her collar and leash aren’t hanging next to the door and so he figures that Jungkook must have
taken her to a walk or to the park. Still, he finds it weird not to be greeted by the animal.
“...and your dad has been saying that he really wants to meet the Jungkook you told us about.”
“I’m sure that you guys will love him, it’s impossible not to.” Taehyung smiles to himself. “He
actually—” he stops when he sees a yellow sticker paper on the fridge and so he leans closer to be
able to read over Jungkook’s pretty, yet messy handwriting.
I don’t know when I’ll be back, it reads. Taehyung’s shoulders fall. What?
“Taehyungie? Taehyungie are you there?” his mother asks from the other side, concern evident in
her voice. “Honey, is everything ok? You’ve suddenly gone quiet… are you alright?”
“Y-Yes, yes, everything is alright.” he lies, paper still in his hand. What does it mean? Does he not
have plans to return? Does Jungkook want to stay away for a long time or did he just mean it time-
wise? Will he return later and just doesn’t know at what time? Is that it?
“Honey, what’s wrong?” his mother asks again, not convinced. “I can tell that you’re upset… tell
me what happened, please? You were ok just a second ago.” Taehyung closes his eyes as tightly as
they go, crumbling the paper between his palm. He’s not alright. Things aren’t alright.
“It’s nothing, please don’t worry, Moon just destroyed something and I’m thinking about how I
must clean up all this mess now.” he forces a chuckle, proud of the excuse that he was able to
come up with right on the spot. He’s a horrid liar, so it’s good that they believed it so easily.
“Moon is the dog, right?” Taehyung hums. “We will meet her too—! Tell Jungkook that we’ll take
some treats with us to win her over.” she giggles, excited with the idea.
“Oh, Moon is very docile, she doesn’t have to be won over, really.” he laughs, too. “But still, do it,
bring some treats, Jungkook will be the one that you’ll win over by doing that. He loves that dog
so, so much, I’ve never seen anyone with a connection with a pet quite like this one.”
“He sounds like such a good person, I genuinely can’t wait to meet him.” Taehyung sighs. How is
Jungkook going to act with his parents there? Their situation isn’t so good, they’re on terrible terms
and Jungkook may not even want to go there anymore. Everything is just terrible.
“He’s excited too.” Taehyung still says, not wanting to voice his concern. “Actually, I need to— I
need to go now, if that’s ok with you. I have to clean up what Moon did and I have some work stuff
to go over…” he lies. He just wants to call Jungkook.
Call him and ask why on earth was he the one leaving his own apartment when Taehyung offered
to leave him alone with his space; ask why was Jungkook the one having to accommodate the
situation. It should be Taehyung. Taehyung’s the one taking up his personal space.
“Oh, alright. We will call you tomorrow just to check on you one last time before we arrive. Stay
safe and sleep well.” she makes a kissing sound that he copies, smiling. “Take care, I love you.”
“I love you, too.” he whispers. “Bye, bye.” as the call ends, he’s already looking for Jungkook’s
contact, finger stopping just an inch over it. Should he? If Jungkook left, then it’s because he wants
space, calling him would be the opposite of giving him that.
Should Taehyung really just go against the older man’s wishes yet again? He can’t do it. He
groans, locking the phone and slamming it against the counter. “Give him space, Taehyung, give
him space.” he whispers to himself, inhaling slowly and exhaling just as slow. He feels lonely.
Moon is gone. Jungkook is gone.
He’s all alone.
It’s his fault, he knows that, but it hurts just as bad either way.
He grabs his phone again. Maybe he can just call to check in on him or to ask if he wants
something from the grocery store, acting like he hasn’t seen the note yet… but Jungkook isn’t
stupid, he would understand. Taehyung sighs again.
He has to step back for a second. He has to let him be.
That’s how Jungkook wants it. He wants to be away from Taehyung and he has to understand.
Even if it hurts.
│►
Taehyung finishes drying his plate, storing it in the cabinets just like he did to the rest of the
utensils that he used to cook dinner for him and Jungkook. He leaves the pans on the stove with a
sticky paper with Jungkook’s name a small heart, in case Jungkook arrives after he’s gone to bed.
He wants the older man to know that Taehyung will still take care of him no matter what.
Simba jumps on the couch when he plops himself there, laying in the most comfortable position
that he can find to watch a bit of television while he waits for his housemate, allowing the small cat
to lay on his stomach. It’s comfortable. The situation, on the other hand, isn’t.
His phone is right next to him just in case Jungkook texts or decides to call, and so he has to be
ready to reply or to pick up right away. He wants to talk about his parents going there, make sure
that it’s still ok, make sure that Jungkook doesn’t mind it, because if he does, Taehyung will just
ask for them to either go to Jimin’s or to cancel the trip and he’ll be the one traveling there.
He’s not looking forward to having that change of plans, but anything for Jungkook. If that’s what
he wants, then that’s what Taehyung will do. Taehyung’s tired of the fight, he will do anything to
make it better, even cancel the plans to see his parents after over half a year.
And so he lays there, waiting, in hopes to be able to talk to Jungkook while he has dinner.
However, the hours pass and the front door doesn’t open, his friend doesn’t arrive. It’s over two in
the morning when Taehyung starts to accept that maybe Jungkook isn’t returning. For the night, at
least. And it hurts. Hurts to be all alone.
Hurts to know that he’s all alone because he hurt Jungkook.

And all that he can do is wait, really. There’s nothing else that he can do right now.
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 34 │►
Chapter Notes
BE AWARE: this chapter has a flashback scene with homophobic comments. The
reader is advised.
Jungkook shushes Moon as she whines at the front door, keys almost falling from his hand due to
the way that she’s tugging at his arm. “Hey, stop it, girl.” he tells her, the dog immediately sitting
down correctly, waiting for the door to be open. Once open, Moon runs in immediately and
Jungkook guesses that she’s going to the kitchen to eat, yet again.
His hand stops once he lifts his eyes and sees Taehyung’s sleeping figure resting on the couch.
He looks comfortable, but why is he sleeping there? He could’ve gone to bed. Jungkook left a note,
after all, so Taehyung knew that the bed would be more than available. He could’ve taken the bed
even if Jungkook was present, so he doesn’t quite understand why he didn’t.
Jungkook closes the door carefully, biting the inside of his cheek. Taehyung’s sleeping in one of
his hoodies, one of the ones that Jungkook wears the most; one of his favorites. For some reason,
he likes how it looks on the younger man. It’s cute.
He walks closer, kneeling in front of the couch to pull the blanket over his body, wanting nothing
but for Taehyung to be warm and comfortable. His hand raises almost hesitantly, combing the hair
out of Taehyung’s forehead. He sighs to himself.
Taehyung is so close yet so far away, and he knows that it’s what he himself needs and wants for
the moment, it’s what he asked for, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.
Instead of being able to lay on the small space available on the couch and try to finally sleep a little
— as he wasn’t able to sleep at Yoongi’s house due to the lack of alcohol around — he has to
leave. It’s his choice, really, but it doesn’t stop it from being pure torture. It’s stupid.
Jungkook leans closer, letting his lips hover over Taehyung’s cheek for a few seconds before
actually pressing them, gently; his nose caresses the soft skin in the process. He pushes himself up,
right after that small gesture, heading to his bedroom so that he can try to get some sleep.
Taehyung’s eyes blink a few times as he wakes up from his sleep, feeling something different in
the air. He can hear the sounds of Moon eating not that far away and he sits up in a split second.
Jungkook is back home.
He immediately runs after the sounds, his bare feet freezing at the coldness of the floors until he
reaches the bedroom. Then he slows down, knocks, before pushing the door open. And there
Jungkook is. “Hey, hyung.” Taehyung quietly greets. “I was waiting for you last night, I even left
you dinner ready. I hope that you had fun wherever you went to.”
Jungkook furrows his eyebrows, confused. “I left a note saying I’d be off.” the blonde closes the
door, leaning his back against it. “Did you not see it? I left it in a visible place…”
“I did see it, I just thought that you meant that you’d be coming back late.” Taehyung gives him a
little smile. “It’s alright, I just fell asleep waiting, don’t mind me.” he shrugs. “I also have
something to ask you… if you don’t mind, of course...”
“What?” Taehyung frowns at the short answer.
“I don’t know whether you remember it or not, but my parents will arrive tomorrow, as we agreed a
week ago, for lunch. Is it still ok with you? I can ask them not to come when they call me later
today.” Jungkook looks away, masking his surprise. He completely forgot about it.
He pulls his hair back, rubbing his eyes before mumbling a curse to himself. “It’s fine, they can
still come, yeah, of course.” Jungkook says at last. “I forgot about that.” he admits.
“If you’re uncomfortable then I’ll just ask them to come some other time… or I can take some days
off from work and go there myself, hyung, please be honest with me right now. Tell me if it makes
you uncomfortable. I can’t deal with the thought of making… this even worse.”
“No, it’s ok, it’s ok. Tell them to come, don’t cancel the lunch plans.” he gets up, hands going to
the hem of his shirt before he pulls it off. Taehyung’s eyes travel down for a second, mindlessly
taking in the sight, before going back up to his eyes. “I’ll be taking a shower now.”
“Alright.” Taehyung nods, watching quietly as Jungkook leaves the room, deeming their
conversation as finished. He still opens his mouth to speak, but the door closes before he gets the
chance to and he just accepts it. Perhaps it’s better this way, anyway.
This is how space works, right? He’s doing what’s correct and fitting.
They talked for a little, he got Jungkook to reply, so now he has to know how to step back, too.
Still, that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt.
│►
Jungkook secures the towel around his lower body, exiting the bathroom with a last check in the
mirror. His hair is still wet and falling on the sides of his face, longer than he would usually have
it. He can’t really afford a haircut at the moment, so he’s learning to accept it. The second best
option is to just cut it himself and end up completely messing it all up.
It’s best to wait and let professionals do it whenever he gets the money to go to a salon. His hair
might just be one of his best features, at least in his eyes… and Taehyung likes it so much that it
can only mean that it looks good. The haircut can wait a little while longer.
Jungkook’s halfway through the bedroom door when he hears his name and so he stops, thinking
that Taehyung is calling after him, and therefore he walks to the living room instead. He’s already
opening his mouth to ask what Taehyung needs, when he sees the younger man on his phone.
Is Taehyung talking about him?
“Yeah, I know, I asked him if it’s still alright for my parents to come and hyung said yes… but I
don’t know if he actually meant it. We don’t even talk right now… he’s probably uncomfortable
with the idea.” Taehyung sighs. “I just want the best for him, I don’t want to bother him.”
Jungkook’s lips curve up slightly in a little smile that he drops once Taehyung rushes to end the
call with a promise of calling soon. Jungkook recognizes that shakiness in his voice, Taehyung is
close to tears. The younger sighs once he puts the phone down, clearly bothered by the topic.
“I’m not uncomfortable with the idea.” he speaks so suddenly that it makes the blonde jump in
place, startled by his voice. “I told you that it’s ok for them to come for lunch.”
“I just— I just don’t want to mess everything up even more.” Taehyung looks down. “And I’m
nervous about the whole ordeal, perhaps pushing it back would even be my fault and I’m using you
as an excuse just so that I don’t feel bad about it.” Jungkook tilts his head, confused.
“Why are you nervous about seeing your parents? I know that this is important for you, I would
expect you to be thrilled, not thinking of how to get off of doing it.” Taehyung sighs, fiddling with
his fingers; something that he does when he’s nervous.
“I’m scared that they may talk a lot about Hyungsik.” he admits. “I don’t want that to be a topic of
conversation.” Jungkook takes a step closer, his hand raising before he allows himself to overthink
the gesture. He carefully places it on Taehyung’s cheek.
The younger unconsciously leans into it, seeking the warmth, the shared contact; Jungkook’s
affection. “If it gets too much, I’ll be there.” Jungkook says in a soft whisper. “I won’t even let it
get too much. I promise you, hm?” he reassures, having to take his hand away before his thumb
starts caressing Taehyung’s cheek. That’d be crossing the line.
“You don’t even talk to me, how will you step in to help …?” Taehyung asks, aware of how petty
his question may sound, but it’s a genuine concern. He doesn’t know how true the promise is.
“I will, because at the end of the day, I’m always here, Taehyung.”
“You weren’t here yesterday.” Taehyung wants to cover his mouth immediately, knows that he’s
just said the wrong thing yet again. He just keeps messing up more and more when that’s the last
thing that he wants to do. It’s a panicked response, he knows, but still.
Jungkook, however, just sighs, doesn’t take it wrongly. “I just needed some time away.”
“Did it help?” he asks, hopeful.
It’s silent for a few seconds before Jungkook nods. “Yes, it did.” Taehyung’s eyes light up, a smile
taking over his lips. “I’ll get dressed now, just please know that I really don’t mind meeting your
parents tomorrow and that you don’t have to tell them not to come. It’s ok. I’m being honest.”
Taehyung’s eyes follow a single drop of water that drops from Jungkook’s collarbone, running
down his torso until it disappears in the hem of the towel. Jungkook has to get dressed and end
their conversation, Taehyung notes, though he wants to keep the conversation going.
He can’t stretch it for too long. “Alright, hyung, thank you.” he says, sitting down. Jungkook utters
no other word before leaving. Taehyung is left squealing into his hand, either way.
Jungkook talked to him, not much but it was good enough for a start. He promised to be there for
him. Taehyung can’t stop himself from shaking Simba in her sleep, only to pick her up and squeal
some more. “Aren’t we happy, little thing?” he asks, rhetorically.
Simba does nothing but meow. A call for help, perhaps.
Taehyung just giggles.
He’s happy.
│►
“Have you two started the preparations for the wedding?” Taehyung asks, grabbing some milk
from the shelves to put in his shopping cart. Hoseok smiles, wide and bright, at the mention.
“We chose the agency that we want to have planning it for us and chose one or two things, like the
colors and the theme… nothing too big just yet.” he shrugs. “Jimin is very excited about picking
the suits, I think he said that he’ll call you to go with him, which sounds about right.”
“Oh, that sounds fun, I can’t wait. I’m so happy for you two.” Taehyung smiles, adding more
things in his cart. “I hope that you get to marry soon, I’m so excited about the wedding.”
“I hope so, too… Now, tell me, how are things with Jungkook? Any improvement?” he looks at his
best friend with a saddened expression, sighing. “Really? Has nothing gotten any better?”
“Barely… I know that I should move out, that’s what I’d advise a patient to do, I know that that’s
what’s correct, but we’re both stupid. I don’t want to leave him and he doesn’t want me to leave
even though that’s probably what’s best for him. And I don’t know what to do. On one hand, I
have my common sense telling me to leave, but then I also have my emotions… and I’m torn.”
“Well, for starters, you should drop that sad frown.” Hoseok points. “You shouldn’t give up on
trying to get back what you two had. Your friendship was adorable and you two adored and still
adore each other so much, you can’t just let it go like that.” he smiles warmly, placing a reassuring
hand on Taehyung’s shoulder. “You messed up, so you fix it. Don’t give up.”
“I won’t, but it’s hard not to lose hope. And uhm, today he did put his hand right here.” Taehyung
touches his cheek twice, smiling again. Hoseok raises an eyebrow, trying to hide his smirk.
“Oh, did he? How can you say that there was no progress, then?” he chuckles. “Caressing your
cheek like that sounds like steps forward to me. It sounds like some progress has been made.”
“It’s not much compared to what we used to be like… Yeah, ok, it may be sweet and a
demonstration of affection that hints to us being able to work things out but— What if it means
nothing?” Taehyung looks down. “My parents will have lunch with us tomorrow, imagine if it’s
really awkward… they think that I have the best relationship with Jungkook, because I did have
such a thing when I told them about him, and now everything is ruined and it’s all on me.”
“Oh, shit, they’re coming tomorrow, already?! Yeah, that doesn’t sound good. Shit, that’s really
concerning, I don’t even know how to help.” Taehyung frowns even more. “Right, sorry. You two
will figure it out, if he didn’t want them or you around, he’d say something, I’m sure of that.”
“I’ll make sure that tomorrow works out well… I don’t want to mess this up, even more, I
wouldn’t forgive myself if lunch didn’t go to freaking perfection. I’ll make sure that he enjoys it.”
“I’m sure that it will be fine. Now, let’s drop the melancholic topic, we should try to make things
better. Let’s finish shopping and then we should go for ice cream or something, yeah?”
“Pancakes?” Taehyung pouts.
“Pancakes with ice cream?” Hoseok suggests.
“You know it.”
│►
Jungkook chuckles at his best friend’s story, Seokjin throwing his head back in laughter. “When I
tell you that it was the most horrendous date that I’ve ever been in… I mean it. She was just so
awkward, no matter how hard I tried, it just kept getting worse and worse.” he goes on.
“To date you, it was to be someone outgoing, I’m guessing.” Jungkook tries between chuckles.
“It doesn’t, I’m alright with someone reserved, but if she can’t put it aside and put in some effort
then no, she’s not for me.” he raises his hands. Jungkook hums. “What about you?”
“What about me?” Jungkook furrows his eyebrows.
“When are you going to go on a date? You’ve never dated ever since we met and it makes me
curious, don’t you want to date anyone?” Seokjin asks, taking a sip from his coffee.
Jungkook just sighs, shrugs. “I wouldn’t mind dating, it’s not that I don’t want to, no one likes to be
lonely, but it’s… these are tough times, I don’t even have a job. I don’t know how I’m paying for
my apartment at the end of the month, I have a whole bunch of shit going on, I don’t want to dump
it all on someone else.” he rubs his eyes. “I haven’t dated in years, haven’t even gone on a date in a
decade, so it makes me anxious to think about going on a date, I don’t know.”
“Shit, doesn’t your dick have webs by now?” the pillow he receives to the head is more than
deserved. “Right, right, sorry. By the way, you being unemployed shouldn’t be a problem, the
other person must understand it if they like you. I’m sure that you won’t stay unemployed for long,
you’re a perfect candidate even if you don’t have a college degree.” his friend encourages.
“It’s… way harder than you think.” Jungkook mumbles. “I told Yoongi, might as well tell you, as
well. Promise not to have a bad reaction, you never know when to shut up. Promise me.”
“Offensive but promised. Go on.” he gestures.
“I’ve been to prison before...” Seokjin’s jaw falls in shock. “For three months.” the silence is
nerve-wracking and Jungkook can feel his foot starting to tap the floor. “Say something, will you?”
he asks with a nervous chuckle. “This isn’t like you, silence is weird, say something.”
“I’m just… in shock.” Jin admits. “Prison? Like, actual prison? Orange suits and cells?” he gapes.
“I was in the blue block, so my suit was actually dark blue…” Jungkook scratches his neck, feeling
way too awkward. Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything, there was no reason to.
“That’s quite badass.” Seokjin laughs. “But shit, I can see why you’re so concerned about getting
fired, that must be hard to go around… was it a bad reason? You didn’t kill anyone, right?” he asks
and Jungkook gives him a moment, waits for him to laugh, and say that it’s a joke, but his friend’s
face remains serious and he’s the one snorting at that.
“You’re a literal lawyer and yet you’re asking me if I did three months for murder? Of course not. I
couldn’t even hurt someone, it wasn’t for anything like that. Don’t ask what it was for, I really
don’t want to talk about it right now. Maybe some other day… not now.”
“So you expect me to just know that you’ve been to prison and not know why?” Jungkook simply
nods. “Alright. Alright, sounds incredibly unfair, but alright.” he rolls his eyes. “Wait, is— Hold
on, hold on, is this why you and Taehy—”
“I said that I don’t want to talk about it.” his voice sounds firmer this time and Seokjin deflates
before Jungkook can be mad. “Can we change topics? I was fine listening about your bad dates.”
“Well, then suit yourself, I have more.”

Jungkook smiles. “Wonderful.”
│►
“Come here, you fucking—!” he hears as he runs down the stairs, rushing to get the other boy out
of the house, both panicked and stumbling on their way. Especially Jungkook.
“Go, fucking go, I’ll call you later.” Jungkook whisper-yells, closing the door with a loud thud, not
even giving him a single moment to try to answer. His heart beats like crazy in his chest, hands
shake with nerves that he can’t seem to control. He’s scared. Terrified, even.
“What in the actual fuck did I just see under my fucking roof?” it comes then, the screams.
He turns to the source of the voice, back against the door. “Nothing, you saw nothing.” he lies.
“Oh, so I didn’t see you kissing another boy? Disgusting, fucking faggot, this is exactly why your
dad left.” Jungkook closes his eyes tight, head hanging low. “If I ever see this shit happening, I
will lose it with you. I’ll kick you out of this fucking house and I don’t care where you stay.”
Jungkook remains silent, just thinking of what the guy must be thinking, running home as he
escapes from an almost beating. It was Jungkook’s fault, after all, he knew that he shouldn’t have
brought him in. It was too risky, and yet, he didn’t think it through.
“Are you fucking listening to me?!” he gapes when a harsh hand grabs his jaw, forcing him to look
up, eyes on the brink of watering, but he’s trying his hardest not to. “I want you out of my fucking
house the minute that you turn eighteen, understood?”
“That was already my plan, anyw—” Jungkook has to hold back a grunt when the same hand
comes in contact with his cheek. He should be used to it by now, but it still hurts. “I’m doing what
you want, why are you still getting ang—”
“Don’t you—”
“Jungkook? Hey, wake up, dude.” he hears as a hand slaps his cheek continuously, not too harshly,
but it does make him drag himself away as soon as he regains consciousness. “I think that you
were having a nightmare of some sort.” Jungkook blinks, clueless.
“Did I fall asleep?” Jungkook asks, concerned. There’s sweat dripping down his forehead, his
hands shaking with the memories brought in the nightmare. “W-Why did I fall asleep? When?”
“I don’t know, but you fell asleep, so I just let you be and went to bed. I woke up to screams and
calls for Taehyung’s name… Were you dreaming of him?” Seokjin asks, taking a tissue from the
center table to dry his sweat away. Jungkook can’t even react to it, still too slow to process.
“No, I wasn’t. At all.” he sighs as he realizes that it was just a nightmare, yet again, and not reality.
The terror always takes a second too long to go away, it feels too real. “I guess that I’m just
nervous about meeting his parents and all, I have to make a good impression…”
Seokjin buys the lie. “I mean, you already have a ruined image in their eyes, so you better work
really hard to make them forget that you bullied their son.” he taps his back. Jungkook frowns.
“They don’t know about it.” he mumbles. “Why would you even bring that up? This is why
Yoongi is my favorite.” Jungkook tries to joke, as he always does when the mood gets too dark.
“Then go to his place and leave tear stains on his damn couch.” Jungkook laughs, his best friend
following suit. “Come here, dude, I’ll tightly cuddle you back to sleep.”
“No— Stop— I’ll bite your arm—” Jungkook complains as he wrestles his friend away, the
nightmare completely slipping from his mind, which is exactly what he needs. “Go to bed. Go.”
“Let me cuddle you.”
“No.”
Seokjin snorts. “Please!”
“No—”
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 35 │►
Chapter Notes
They both get up at the sound of the doorbell, Jungkook still fixing up his hoodie that he now
regrets putting on. It looks too casual for a first meeting. Taehyung is also dressed casually; he’s
even wearing slippers, but he’s their son and Jungkook is the one who has to leave a good
impression, so his hoodie is definitely not enough. He should’ve dressed up.
Oh God, what was he thinking? Taehyung’s parents are swimming in money and Jungkook is
standing in a hoodie that probably cost him less than ten bucks, not to mention his pants, ripped on
the knees, and he has no jewelry on — he doesn’t own anything other than a couple of cheap rings
and some necklaces and it felt stupid to wear fake silver in their presence, they’d definitely notice
and it’d be more than embarrassing and this is already a mess before it’s even started.
“Oh my God, Taehyungie, you look so good!” he’s brought back from his inner turmoil by a rather
high-pitched voice, the woman hugging Taehyung so tight that he wonders just how comfortable
that feels. “I’ve missed you so much— and oh, if this isn’t the Jungkook that we’ve heard so much
about! You’re so handsome, come here, hi, it’s so nice to meet you at last.”
Jungkook is frozen for a second as her warm arms wrap around him with no hesitation, his own
doing the same but much more carefully, unsure of how to act. “Likewise.” he says and he
mentally slaps himself. Why is he speaking so formally? It’s just Taehyung’s mother. “I mean, I’m
also happy that I’m meeting you, Taehyung has told me a lot about you guys.” he corrects.
“Only good things, I hope.” Taehyung’s dad steps closer, holding his arm out for what Jungkook
guesses is a handshake. He stares at it for a beat of a moment, aware that he’s taking too long to
accept the gesture, but he doesn’t know whether to take it or not. It makes him anxious.
Knowing that it’s a father figure makes him nervous. It’s stupid, he knows that, but it’s how he
feels and he can’t stop it. It’s just Taehyung’s dad, he tells himself, not your own. He takes the
hand after what seems like an eternity. The skin feels soft to the touch, not rough and worn out as
he remembers his father to have. People can have reallydistinct lives. Complete opposites.
“Oh, where’s Nira? Is she late?” Taehyung asks, looking past behind them. Where’s his sister?
“About that…!” Taehyung frowns. “Something unexpected came up, so we have to leave shortly
after lunch. We decided that she could come for dinner instead and then you’ll have your time with
her alone, since we’ll be gone anyway.” his dad explains, showing an apologetic smile.
Taehyung looks at Jungkook for silent permission. Jungkook just nods. “Ok, that’s alright, I miss
her a lot and I can’t wait to meet little Miyun. Keeping up through pictures is definitely not the
same thing, I miss that cute little thing, I’ve only seen her once so far, it’s not fair…!”
“I’ll leave you guys to catch up a bit and I’ll finish lunch, please feel as free and as if you were in
your own place, make yourself comfortable.” Jungkook excuses himself, bowing to them before
leaving the living room with a smile on his face. Taehyung’s parents bow too, polite.
His smile falls once he’s out of sight, already inside the kitchen. Moon is still sitting on the same
spot where he ordered her to stay short minutes before. She’s very well trained, but he didn’t want
to overwhelm or scare Taehyung’s parents by letting her jump them right away. “Come here, good
girl.” she takes the praise, getting up to receive her caresses and a snack.
She runs to the living room as soon as she’s done eating, wanting nothing but to check on the
newcomers. He can already hear the comments on how cute she is. They’re right. His baby is
indeed very cute and everyone that doesn’t think so, is absolutely incorrect and blind.
Jungkook focuses on their lunch, set on finishing it without messing up Taehyung’s hard work.
“...he seems very polite. We should’ve expected it anyway, since he was kind enough to let you
stay— to even invite you to move in, but still. He has a very… kind aura.” he hears Taehyung’s
father comment and he has to bite down on his bottom lip. He can hear their conversation.
It seems a little invasive, but he can’t stop himself from paying extra attention to hear better.
“He’s amazing.” Taehyung says, tone sincere. “He’s… yeah, he’s just amazing.” his chest swells
up for some reason, both pride and sadness over the whole situation. He wishes that they were on
good terms, he wishes that the whole fight had been avoided, he wishes for so many things.
“How old is he? He looks young.” it’s time for his mother to speak. “Is he older or younger?”
“He’s turning twenty-eight soon.” Jungkook cringes at that. Time passes way too quickly. It feels
like yesterday that he cried the whole day on his twenty-seventh birthday, thinking about how
shitty of a life he had managed to build for himself until then. Nothing has changed.
That’s how he plans to spend his twenty-eighth birthday as well.
“...and he’s very handsome.” Taehyung’s mom points out. Jungkook curses at himself for missing
the rest, but he does hear the younger man laughing; it’s not a mocking laughter, though.
“He does have the cutest smile ever.” Jungkook smiles. He can agree with that. His smile is pretty
cute. His looks have always been something that he can be happy with. At least one good thing.
Moon returns, probably having had enough of them already but never she’d never have enough of
Jungkook, so she chooses to sit down right next to him. “What’s wrong?” he asks her, a hand
mindlessly toying with her floppy ears. “You didn’t like the company? They seem nice.”
Moon just paws at his leg, tongue darting out.
“Let daddy finish this lunch before they think that I’ve burnt it.” he chuckles, focusing again on the
pots and the pans. “I hope that this lunch goes well, if they hate me, I won’t know what to do to fix
it, I’m not charming enough for people of their level...” and he’s so different from them.
He can only cross his fingers and hope that they won’t think that he’s a joke.
│►
Jungkook watches with a warm smile as the other three laugh at a story that Taehyung’s mother has
just finished, their plates basically empty by then, but the conversation is too entertaining to let
them leave the table so soon. They’ve been there for a long time already.
“Now, allow me to bring the mood down so that we can have a serious conversation.” she
announces, leaning closer on the table. “Your dad and I are very happy that you’re no longer in a
relationship with Hyungsik.” Jungkook’s smile immediately drops, posture becoming rigid.
He turns to his side, where Taehyung is sitting, carefully taking in his expression. Taehyung’s
smile turns into a forced one, he can see it, but no one else seems to pick up on that detail.
“That man was bad news, we never liked him, Taehyungie, we just wanted to support you.” his
father adds. “It’s very, very good that he’s not here anymore, he wasn’t good for you.” Taehyung
gulps, hating the route that the conversation has taken. “What made you finally leave him?”
Taehyung looks down at his plate. He didn’t exactly choose to leave him.
“I don’t want to be rude, but could we perhaps change to another conservation topic? This is still a
touchy subject to talk about.” Jungkook says once he realizes that Taehyung isn’t in condition to
request it himself. “Taehyung isn’t ready to talk so freely about that just yet...”
“It’s— It’s ok…” Taehyung lies, eyes going a little wider at the hand that comes to rest on his
thigh. Jungkook’s hand. Jungkook is interacting like that again. It makes his heart flutter, content.
When their eyes meet, the older man seems to remember the situation that they’re in, slowly taking
his hand away and awkwardly clearing his throat. “Who wants another round?” he asks.
Taehyung’s mother seems to take the hint. “I do, thank you so much.” she says as she lifts her
plate. Jungkook gets up to serve her, not too much since they’ve already eaten. “So, tell us, what do
you work with?” his hand stills for a second. Oh. Great conversation change. Amazing, really.
“I uh… I’m currently changing my work— I’m actually unemployed at the moment, it’s… it’s a
tough situation, yeah.” he sits back down, heart in his throat. Now why in the world would he say
that? They’re going to think that he’s a failure, they have their own business and so much money in
their bank accounts, and then there he is, saying he’s not even working.
So much for a good impression.
Contrary to his expectations, when Taehyung’s mother speaks, her tone isn’t what he imagined it to
be in response to what he just revealed. “Oh, but that’s ok, honey, that happens. Everyone goes
through rough times in their careers, it’s only natural. You shouldn’t worry too much, it will all
work out at the end, I’m sure of it” she smiles, waving a dismissive hand.
“How old are you?” the dad asks. “It’s slipped my mind, please remind me of it…”
“I’m almost twenty-eight.” he gulps. “I feel very old.” Jungkook laughs a little awkwardly, looking
down. He can feel Taehyung’s eyes on him, attentive, curious, and ready to jump in to help in case
he’s necessary. He may not be able to speak for himself, but he’ll do it for Jungkook.
“Nonsense, you’re still so young! You still have your whole life ahead of you, some people at your
age don’t even know what they want to do with their lives yet and look, you’re out of your parent’s
house and living independently.” the man encourages. “You’ll be fine, I’m certain.”
Taehyung smiles, his heart feeling so incredibly warm at how his parents are treating his friend as
though they’ve known him for a long time. He just wants Jungkook to be reassured, nothing else
gets him as happy lately as knowing that Jungkook is happy too. “Thank you, that’s… very nice to
hear.” Jungkook smiles, genuine. “Thank you for those words.”
“Don’t thank us, honey, we’re just being honest. A friend of Taehyung is a friend of ours, and
we’ll be welcoming. Besides, you haven’t given us any reason not to be nice to you, quite the
opposite. You’re a really good man.” Taehyung’s mother speaks again. “I’m happy that you two
found each other, we can see just how close you are… and we’ve heard all the stories.”
They share a quick eye contact that Taehyung has to break to look down with a smile.
“I’m really happy I found Jungkook.” and he’s being honest. Jungkook can hear it in his voice.
Jungkook doesn’t say anything, but yeah, he’s happy he found Taehyung, too.
Despite everything, he’s happy that their path merged.
│►
“We’re really sorry that we must already so soon… we wish that we could stay for longer. It was a
pleasure to meet you, by the way, you’re as amazing as Taehyungie made you sound.” she says
with a sad smile, opening her arms yet again to hug her son. “Come here for a hug, too…”
Jungkook returns the hug, holding her petite body ever so carefully.
“Thank you so much for everything that you’ve done for him.” she tells him, only loud enough for
it to stay between the two of them. “You’re so incredible.” as she pulls away, Jungkook gets a
weird feeling at the bottom of his stomach. This situation feels weird.
Oddly familiar.
Oddly domestic.
It stirs something inside of him and he stays silent as they leave, even when he shares a last quick
goodbye, he doesn’t talk much, feeling almost sick. It doesn’t feel right at all. He doesn’t know
what it was, what exactly made him feel this way, but he doesn’t like this sensation.
Nostalgia and longing for something that he can’t even pinpoint.
Taehyung’s the one closing the door, eyes filled with small tears, and Jungkook just sits on the
couch, eyes glued to the floor. The younger man sees it right away, so he sits down, leaving some
space between them for comfort. “Hyung?” he starts by calling. “Are you alright?”
Jungkook looks up at him. “It’s all good.” a lie. Taehyung can easily tell that he’s lying, so he
drags himself just a little closer, still not touching, and clears his throat before speaking again.
“You know that you can talk to me, I’m here to listen and help whenever you want me to. If you
don’t want help, then just to listen and show support. I’m always here, no matter what. So, I’ll ask
again, and you can give me an actual answer and tell me what’s wrong or you can lie again and I’ll
accept it and give you the space you need, hyung.” Jungkook blinks. “Are you alright?”
“I just feel… weird.” Taehyung fights off a smile. Progress. Finally. “Your mom— She reminded
me so much of my mom, it was so weird. I think that it was the hug that she gave me just now
before leaving, I don’t know, but she reminded me of her. I feel not so great now.” Jungkook gulps,
staring down at his hands. “I miss her, you know?” he chuckles, humorlessly. “A lot.”
Before he knows it, there’s a pair of arms around his torso, Taehyung’s chest against his. He wastes
no time before hugging back, his head resting on Taehyung’s shoulder. Holding each other tight.
“It’s ok.” Taehyung reassures, his hand running up and down Jungkook’s back. “I can only
imagine how upsetting and hurtful that it must be, to be reminded of someone that you haven’t
seen in… I don’t even know how long…” Jungkook gulps.
“Fourteen years...” Taehyung’s hand stills. Isn’t that the same amount of time since he’s last seen
his younger and only sister? His heart tightens, he feels so sorry for the older man.
It’s hard not to ask, not to let curiosity take over, but he decides that it’s too much of a touchy
subject, he can’t be the one asking, Jungkook has to share because he wants to and not because he
has his therapist trying to remove yet another brick from his defensive wall.
There are still so many bricks to remove. He barely knows Jungkook.
“I’m sorry for crying.” Jungkook sniffs quietly. “This always happens when I talk about her or my
sister, it’s so damn stupid.” he complains, trying to pull away, but Taehyung’s arms only hold him
tighter. Jungkook just relaxes back in them; they’re warm, relaxing, and safe.
Goosebumps spread on his skin when a pair of soft, plump lips touches his neck, right behind his
ear, something that hasn’t happened before. He’s never reacted in such a way to Taehyung’s little
kisses. It gets worse when there’s another one to his jaw, making even the short hairs of his arms
get up. He has to pull away. “You know that you always have my shoulder.” Taehyung smiles,
combing his bangs away, long enough to lock them behind Jungkook’s ear.
“Is it ok if I don’t stay for dinner with your sister? I think that I’ve had enough of today.”
Taehyung nod immediately. “Are you sure that you don’t mind? You were excited about me
meeting her.”
“I don’t mind it at all. You’ve met my parents and that’s all that I truly wanted. You can meet my
sister some other time… or not, it doesn’t really matter. It’s your decision.” he cups the older man’s
cheek, thumb caressing it ever so slowly. Jungkook’s heart feels a little more at ease.
“Okay, then.” he whispers. “I think that I’ll go to the bedroom now.” he grabs Taehyung’s hand to
carefully remove it from his hair, placing it on the other’s lap. “Thank you for… listening.”
“I always will.” the younger male smiles. “Always.” Jungkook nods, a little weak, but he still
gently pats Taehyung’s knee before getting up from the couch and disappearing through the
hallway. Taehyung waits until he’s out of sight to let a squeal out into his hands.
Jungkook is letting him get close again.
The blonde immediately grabs his phone to call his best friend, excited to share the news. Things
may actually start to get back on the right path. Baby steps have started to work and now he just
has to continue taking them. And not give up, as Hoseok has advised.
The call gets through. “Jimin, I’m so happy—”
│►
“Gosh, I had forgotten how amazing your food is.” his sister comments with a mouthful, making
him giggle. “I missed you so much, Tae, but the food too. This is incredibly tasty.”
“I missed you too, so much.” he looks down at his plate. Nira reaches for his hand resting on the
table, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “I’m really happy that I finally got to see your daughter…”
“Oh, don’t even mention, I’ve been wanting to visit ever since she was born so that I could let you
hold her again. I know just how much you love kids.” Taehyung pouts. He does love kids so much.
“The other day she tried crawling for the first time, she can’t really use her legs yet, but she was
pulling herself with just her little arms— I recorded it, I’ll show it to you later, it’s so adorable.” she
explains with a huge grin on her lips. “I have so much recorded to show you.”
“Please, do show me, I want to see all of it.” Taehyung almost squeals. “I have two babies, as well,
but you’ve met them already, Moon…” he points at the dog sitting next to the table. “...and the
little Simba. They’re my babies. Well, Jungkook’s too, but yeah. They’re our little babies.”
“I’m upset that I didn’t get to meet him, mom called me after leaving and she was saying such
good things about Jungkook, I’m jealous, I want to know what you’re all talking about.” she
frowns, bummed out. “She said something about him being really handsome, very polite, super
well-spoken and intelligent… Extremely nice. I want to thank him for housing my little brother.”
“He will come home tonight, I think, so you’ll get to meet him in the morning.” her smile grows
back. “At least he told me to take the bed with you and that he will take the couch, I think that
that’s sort of an indicator that he will come home. And everything that they said is true.”
“He sounds like a really good man.”
“He is. No doubt.” Taehyung immediately agrees. “You will think so too, it’s impossible to dislike
him, honestly. I already knew that mom would be gushing out about him to you.”
“How did you two meet?” she asks, curious, pushing her plate a little forward to show that she’s
done with her meal. “I’d like to know.” Nira rests her arms on the table, eager to listen.
“Well… He was my patient, we just… grew very close.” Taehyung shrugs. “He found out
everything about Sik and I just— I don’t know, he was the first one on my mind when I had to go
somewhere, so I came here and he offered his apartment for me to stay. I’ve been here ever since
and the rest is history, kind of.” he smiles, resting his chin on his palm.
“That’s so incredibly kind of him.” she nods. “Even if you two grew close, he had no obligation to
take you in and he still did, and in a small apartment, on top of it all. Only a great person would do
such a thing.” Taehyung smiles. His family seeing Jungkook like he is, is such a relief.
“That’s just who he is.” he shrugs.
“Now… Between the two of us, I must say how excited I am that you and Hyungsik aren’t together
anymore. He wasn’t good, Tae… He wasn’t good at all.” she sighs. “You saw how being in a toxic
relationship was for me, I never thought that you’d go down the same lane, and you wouldn’t even
believe us when we said that he was terrible news. You were as blind as I was…”
“When it was you, you appeared with huge bruises, a bleeding nose, and busted lips… Sik never
got to that point and I just— I didn’t think that it was happening because it wasn’t as bad as
yours…? I don’t know, the only person to understand what I mean by this was Jungkook.” he pulls
his hair back, a little frustrated. “He understands me like no one else does.”
“That’s so sweet… Gosh, I’m so happy that you’ve found this guy. You make it sound like you
two have a really good, mutual relationship, hearing this relaxes my poor older sister’s heart.”
“Sometimes I question how mutual it really is… I feel like he understands me more than I
understand him, which is stupid because I’m literally his therapist. The thing is, Jungkook is… a
troubled man. He’s amazing, don’t get me wrong, but he has it rough. I don’t know him to the full
extent, he hasn’t shared much, but I do my best to understand him and I’m the only person that he
can open up to, so I feel extra responsible in this.” at least I was, he almost adds, but refrains. They
seem to be getting back on track at last, he shouldn’t jinx it.
“Oh, that’s good, that’s really good. On another note, I hope that he’s a heavy sleeper, my baby
will wake us up at least twice tonight, it’s always me getting up to feed her and all and let me tell
you, that’s the biggest nightmare about being a parent.” she groans. “There hasn’t been a night that
I slept well after she was born. I wake up every two to three hours, it’s horrible.”
“You can leave it for me then, I’ll get up to feed her tonight.” Nira immediately perks up. “I mean
it, I’ll do it tonight, have tonight to rest, at least.” he chuckles. “I love babies, you know that.”
“You’re an angel.” she dramatizes. “God-sent, for sure.”
“Hm, you’re welcome.”
│►
Jungkook yawns, eyelids heavy and shoulders aching as his whole body asks for him to just lay
down already, wanting nothing but a good night of sleep. A good night of sleep that he won’t have,
he knows that much already, but just lying there in silence, sometimes helps.
His eyebrows get drawn together as he hears a loud crying. That’s— That’s definitely a baby. He
stops as soon as he opens the door, only to see Taehyung pacing around the living room with his
niece in his arms, Moon looking way too confused as to why the small creature is crying so hard.
Taehyung tries shushing her, and Jungkook had totally forgotten about the baby.
“Do you need help?” the elder offers as he closes the door. Taehyung groans, still bouncing her
carefully, desperate trying to quiet her. “She will wake up the whole building…” he half-jokes.
“Yeah, I know, I just can’t calm her down, I’ve been here for like ten minutes and I need to heat up
the milk, but can’t put her down.” he stresses. “Can you hold her for a second?” Taehyung almost
begs, his eyes red from sleep. “I need to prepare her milk…”
“Oh— Sure, yeah, wait.” Jungkook takes off his jacket, throwing it to the couch to be able to take
the small baby in his arms. It’s so tiny, so fragile, and he doesn’t feel responsible enough to be
holding her like this, what if she falls? What if she hates being in his arms and cries more?
Taehyung nods to himself. “I’ll heat up the milk, I’ll be right back.” he informs before rushing to
the kitchen, almost jogging. Jungkook places one of his hands on Miyun’s back, the other forearm
supporting her, rocking her body just slightly, not wanting to be too brusque.
“Shh… now, now, no need to cry.” Jungkook whispers. “I’ll get evicted if you continue this, so
you better stop, you cute little thing.” he chuckles at his own words, humming to some tune that
comes to him as he slowly sits down on the couch. Moon rests in front of him. “Hey, girl.” he
greets in a small voice, way too focused on quieting Miyun. Moon sniffs her head, licking it. “I
don’t think that you should be licking her like this—” he tries not to laugh. “Just sit, c’mon, good.”
He looks down, humming to another song, and it doesn’t take much longer for the cries to die
down, replaced by only Jungkook’s voice as he continues to rock her carefully, gently.
“You’re good with kids.” he hears as Taehyung returns with a bottle of milk, handing it over to
him. He gives him a questioning look; he didn’t expect to be the one feeding the baby. “Go ahead,
she seems to like being in your arms.” Taehyung encourages, tapping his leg.
“Oh— Okay.” Jungkook changes her position to be able to feed her, the baby immediately sucking
on the baby bottle. “She’s cute.” he comments. “Screams like there’s no tomorrow, but she’s really
fucking adorable, her little nose is… so tiny and endearing.”
“I think that you’d be a great dad, hyung.” Taehyung rests on the couch next to them. “Do you
want to be one?” Jungkook looks up, eyes not leaving Taehyung’s for a few seconds before he
nods, looking down again, focused on his task. “Is that a yes…?” the younger has to check.
“My father scarred me for life, all the memories that I have from my childhood are absolutely
horrendous, especially the ones with him, and I want to, one day, be able to do the opposite for
someone. I want to be what I wish I had, you know? It makes sense in my head, but it probably
sounds stupid.” Jungkook chuckles, a little awkward, but Taehyung still lays a hand on his shoulder
with a warm smile. “Does it make sense? Do you get what I mean…?”
“It doesn’t sound stupid at all, it makes perfect sense.” Taehyung reassures. “If my opinion still
counts for anything, I’ll then tell you that you’re doing amazing right now with her, and I know
that you’ll do amazingly when you hold your own.” Jungkook smiles, meeting his eyes again.
“Thank you, Tae.” the younger just smiles back, larger this time. “That does mean a lot.” he
whispers, still holding the bottle for the small baby to feed from. Taehyung just stares at the both
of them, his chest feeling rather warm at the domestic situation. Jungkook looks happy.
They stay quiet the rest of the feeding time, the only thing that they hear being Miyun’s little
sounds, one of her tiny hands holding for dear life onto Jungkook’s thumb, and she doesn’t let go,
not even when the bottle is emptied out and he wants to put it down.
“I should go put her back to sleep now.” Taehyung whispers after a minute or two, Miyun resting
on Jungkook’s arm so peacefully that Taehyung wonders if she’s already asleep. He hopes so.
“Yeah, of course. Here.” Jungkook hands him his niece, as careful as he could possibly be. He
touches her small button nose with the tip of his finger before Taehyung gets up. “I hope that she
doesn’t wake up again, she looks so peaceful when she’s sleeping...”
“I hope so too, if you weren’t here, she wouldn’t have calmed down with me. I guess that maybe
my arms don’t feel familiar to her, I don’t know, but this wasn’t going well.” he frowns.
Jungkook chuckles. “You can wake me up if she cries again, I’m ok with it, I’ll put her back to
sleep, if you’d like.” Taehyung smiles at that, nodding. He will, he definitely will. Jungkook’s
arms worked like a miracle and he knows that, if needed, he’ll hand her over to him again.
“Sleep well, hyung.” Taehyung wishes.
“You too, Tae.” he watches as the younger leaves the room before sighing and closing his eyes.
The next time that Taehyung wakes up to cries, they die down before he can even regain his full
consciousness. He blinks a couple of times, looking towards the baby crib, only to see the older
man bending down with a faint smile, singing some sort of lullaby as he tucks her in.
Taehyung smiles. Jungkook is so great.
He pushes himself off of the bed once he sees Jungkook leaving, going after him into the living
room, and Jungkook is already sitting down once he gets there. “Was she not hungry?” Jungkook
turns back when he hears him speak, surprised to see Taehyung up. He rushed to go calm the baby
so that, this time, no one would be awakened by her cries.
“No, her pacifier was on the floor, I just cleaned it and she quickly went back to sleep.” he
explains. “What are you doing up? It’s late, you should’ve stayed in bed.” Jungkook half-scolds.
“The question to be asked is: how did you wake up so fast?” Taehyung turns it around as he walks
to the couch, sitting himself with less space between them. Jungkook doesn’t flinch, nor does he
scoot away to keep some distance from him. Good. Progress.
“I was already awake… I didn’t really want to drink with the baby here, and even less with the
possibility of you needing me to put her to sleep again. I’m not going to hold a baby if I’m drunk or
tipsy.” he explains with a sigh. “So, I was just sitting here when she started crying.”
“You could’ve told me, then… I would’ve handled her.” Jungkook just smiles with a shrug of the
shoulders, resting his head back on the couch, heavy eyes wanting nothing but to close. He’s so
tired. Taehyung can see it, so he rests his own head on Jungkook’s shoulder, slowly at first just to
make sure that he’s not overstepping or being too overwhelming.
Jungkook only tilts his head until it sets against Taehyung’s, his nose almost buried in the mess of
blonde hair. The younger bites down on his bottom lip, gathering the well-needed courage to raise
his hand to place it on top of Jungkook’s that is carelessly thrown on his own lap.
Again, Jungkook doesn’t pull back, doesn’t do anything except melt even more on the couch.
Taehyung smiles. He’s happy.
Jungkook sighs, comfortable.
That feels right. He’s content.
They’re both content.
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 36 │►
Chapter Notes
“Thank you so much.” Yoongi smiles as the waiter puts his breakfast down, his usual order. The
server bows, polite, before leaving to go to another table. “Oh, hey.” he greets the manager when
he appears right after, a stressed crease formed by his furrowed eyebrows.
“Hey, Yoongi.” the man runs a hand through his hair, sitting down in front of him. “You came in
late for breakfast, I thought that we wouldn’t see you today. I assumed that you weren’t going to
work today as you never fail to come here.” Yoongi hums, halfway through sipping his coffee.
He puts the mug down on the table. “I overslept a bit, that’s why. Tell me, though, why do you
look so stressed? Did something happen?” he asks, curious. Being a daily customer for years has
brought them together, one could even say that they’re friends.
“I need to hire someone with urgency, I need a new waiter as soon as possible. I scheduled a
meeting with a guy yesterday, he was supposed to come here so that we could talk, and he just
didn’t show up. Everyone else that has applied doesn’t meet the criteria that I’m looking for, so I
haven’t called anyone else in besides him, and I’m starting to get grey hairs because of this.”
Yoongi’s ears perk up. “You need someone?” Seojoon nods, resting back on the chair. “My best
friend is looking for a new job… he’s a really good guy.” he smiles, hopeful. “I think that you’d
like him a lot, and he’s very well-spoken, so he’s good with customers. I’ll give him a call…”
“And you’re only now telling me?” the man groans, rubbing his temple. “How old is he? Has he
worked with this before? Does he go well with new people and, therefore, will get along with his
coworkers?” Yoongi chuckles at the number of questions. “Oh, and name. What’s his name?”
“His name is Jungkook, he’s turning twenty-eight soon. I don’t think that he has ever worked with
this before, but he’s the smartest guy that I’ve met, so I’m confident when I say that he will learn
fast and be a great addition to the team. He’s very nice, reserved but polite.”
“Tell him to come meet me later today, after lunch or in the afternoon, I’ll be here all day today so
I can have a chat with him.” he says then. “I need to meet him for an interview and all before
saying yes or no. If you suggested him then I’m sure that he’s capable, but—”
“Well… there’s something that may be a problem. I want you to know it from me because if you
change your mind because of this, then I don’t want to give him hope. He’s been to prison before, I
don’t know what for, but it’s the reason why he can’t find a job right now.” Seojoon closes his
mouth, words lost with the new information. Yoongi takes a sip, waiting; uneasy.
“Yoongi… the fact that you, as his friend, don’t know why he went to prison, has me worried. I
can’t have a convicted felon working with the public when I don’t even know what he was
convicted for...” he leans on the table, looking rather conflicted. “Are you absolutely sure that he’s
trustworthy? I can’t risk the safety of the customers, I’m sure that you can understand that.”
“Yes, yes, a hundred percent, I would trust him with my life. I wouldn’t suggest you to hire him if I
had any doubts about this… I promise you, he’s perfect for the job.” Yoongi assures. “I also
understand if you can’t trust him or if you’re unsure, but can you… uhm, meet him, at least?”
His friend takes a moment before nodding. “Ok, tell him to come meet me then, I’ll see it with my
own eyes before making a definitive decision.” Yoongi nods multiple times. “I truly hope that he’s
as good as you’re claiming, I really need to hire someone to cover the morning shifts.”
“I’ll give him a call… he’s going to be thrilled.”
Seojoon hums, taking another sip from his coffee. “Let me know what he says.”
│►
Jungkook groans as his phone brings him back to consciousness, not having slept as much as he
would’ve liked to. He tries moving to wake up a little before picking up, but there’s a weight on top
of him. A heavy weight. The lack of fur on his face lets him know that it’s not Moon.
He looks down with just one eye open, seeing how Taehyung is sleeping completely on top of him,
head resting oh so peacefully on the elder’s strong chest; his blonde hair a cute mess, hands
carelessly on Jungkook’s torso, holding onto him like he’s one of the pillows. A big pillow indeed.
Jungkook wonders when did they even fall asleep together. He guesses that it must’ve happened
while sitting there after taking care of Taehyung’s niece again. How they ended up laying in such a
position, though, will remain a mystery. He can’t quite place how they went from sitting to him
serving as a mattress, but he’s not complaining. Taehyung’s not that heavy.
He stretches his arm as far as he can to get his phone, successfully accepting the call right on the
verge of it going to voicemail. “Morning…” he greets with a groggy voice, still half-asleep.
“Hey, Kooks. I have really good news.” Jungkook rubs his eyes, not even knowing how to react
after having just woken up. “Do you know the coffee shop that I always go to? Seojoon’s? He
needs someone and I told him about you needing a job so… can you come talk to him after lunch?
I’m pretty sure that he’ll take you, but he wants to meet you before deciding.”
Jungkook’s eyes go wide, mouth falling open in surprise. What? A job for him?
“He said that he needs a person for the morning shifts. I believe that this opens at eight so you’d
leave at around three or four, it sounds like a rather good deal.” Yoongi goes on. “I can send you
the address if you’re interested and—”
“Yes, yes, of course.” he interrupts. “Shit, I don’t know what to say, thank you— fuck, seriously
Yoongi, thank you for even mentioning me, I really need this job.” Jungkook smiles, his free hand
unconsciously traveling up to thread his fingers through Taehyung’s messy hair.
“Don’t thank me just yet, we don’t know for sure if you get the job, though I’m confident when I
say that he will accept you… but still. It’s not a hundred percent guaranteed.” Yoongi sighs.
“I don’t care, you got the interview and that’s enough for me to thank you.” Jungkook bites the
inside of his cheek, nervous. “You should get going to class now, shouldn’t you? I hope that you
didn’t make yourself late over this.” he hates being an inconvenience and that’s all that he’s ever
felt like; towards his family, friends, coworkers, and everyone in general.
“Yeah, but I wanted to call you first. I’m not late, don’t worry.” he explains. “I’ll send you the
address, go there after lunch, alright? Call me as soon as you know if you’re staying or not, I’ll be
waiting for that, I’m excited for you, Kooks, you’ll like it there. I’m hopeful.”
“I will call you, thank you again.” it’s with a few more ‘thank you’s spilling from his lips that he
ends the call, placing his phone back on the center table. He lets out a sigh of contentment and
relief — even if he hasn’t even gotten the job — before letting his eyes fall back on the man
sleeping on his chest. “Tae?” he calls. “Taehyungie, wake up, c’mon...” he gently pokes his cheek
twice, watching as Taehyung’s eyes start to blink, looking up at him. He looks confused.
“Hey…?” he rasps out.
“Are you with me?” Jungkook calls with a smile.
“What time is it…?” Taehyung groans, sleepy, letting his head fall right back in the slight dip
between Jungkook’s pectorals, arms tightening around his torso. Really like a pillow.
“Ten minutes before your alarm goes off— I have something to tell you.” Jungkook says, excited.
“I’m listening… go on…” he mumbles, not lifting his head not even the smallest inch. Jungkook
frowns, poking at his ribs once, twice; three times now and Taehyung finally giggles, looking back
up, resting his chin on Jungkook’s chest for support. “What is it? What news do you have?”
“Yoongi got me a job. Well— I do have to go in for the interview first, but it’s a friend of his so
maybe it will be easier. But yeah, I have a dirty past so he will most likely say no so— ok, I’m
losing hope, now it’s not good news anymore, you can go back to sleep and—” he stops when
there’s a finger on his lips, silently telling him to shut up. He does, lips forming a pout.
“You’ll do amazing in that interview, I’m sure of it.” Taehyung smiles, his finger still lazily placed
over Jungkook’s lips. “Anyone who meets you can see how amazing you are, we can only hope
that they will see it too. And if you don’t get the job, then we just have to keep looking, simple.”
“But… But I need to get it. I know that you paid the rent this month, I got the email, I have to pay
it all back to you, I need the job. I have a dog; I have a lot of shit that I have to get back under
control. I need this job, Tae.” Jungkook says as he carefully pulls Taehyung’s wrist down until his
hand is on his chest as well. “Besides, no other place will accept me, I need this to work out.”
“Hyung…” Taehyung sighs. “I don’t want you to worry about this, you don’t have to pay anything
back, I paid the rent because I knew that you wouldn’t be able to and I didn’t want you stressing
yourself out even more. It’s ok, I did it, it’s an offer and it’s done, I don’t want it back. I don’t.”
“But—”
“No.” Jungkook frowns. “You’ll do great in that interview and that’s the only thing that you have
to worry about right now.” he smiles, touching the tip of Jungkook’s nose with his finger. “No
need to be worrying about futile things, the rent doesn’t matter, okay? Promise.”
“I…” Taehyung gives him a look, trying to look threatening, but he looks so sleepy that he just
looks a little too adorable. Jungkook smiles, endeared. “Okay, promise, okay.”
“Good.” the younger mirrors his grin. “It’ll work out just fine, I know that it will.”
“Can you come home for lunch today and help me pick what clothes to wear? I’m terrible at these
serious things, I have no idea of how to dress… uhm, formally.” Taehyung smiles even more, pure
happiness behind his eyes. Jungkook is talking to him again, trusting him to help.
“Or course, hyung. I’ll come.” he whispers, wanting nothing but to hold Jungkook in the tightest
hug, but he holds back, afraid of making it weird. He doesn’t want to ruin thigs again.
“Thank you, Tae.” Jungkook’s the one guiding his head back down to his chest. “You can sleep for
a little bit longer, your alarm hasn’t gone off yet…” he whispers, fingers playing with the blonde
hair again. Taehyung hums, closing his eyes at the appealing offer.
“Hyung?”
“Hm?” there’s a pregnant pause and Jungkook wonders whether he’s fallen asleep again. “Tae?”
“I just wanted to say that your arms are really comfortable.” he compliments. “And safe.”
Jungkook tilts his head. “Safe?” Taehyung just hums, nodding against his chest. “As in, do they
make you feel safe?” the younger nods again. “Oh.” Jungkook whispers. “That’s… That’s a
compliment that I’ve never gotten before, but it makes me feel strangely good. Thank you.”
“No, thank you.” Taehyung smiles to himself when he feels Jungkook press a long and reassuring
kiss to the top of his head, and he, very reluctantly, sits up. “I can’t sleep any longer, would you
like to have breakfast with me?” he asks, rather afraid of facing rejection.
Jungkook has refused to have meals with him before, and he doesn’t want that to happen.
“Oh, yeah, I’m hungry and I need some coffee.” Jungkook agrees, contrary to his expectations.
“Great.” he smiles. “You’re making the coffees.” Taehyung offers a hand for him to take and he
does, allowing the younger to pull him up onto his feet. Taehyung can’t hide his happiness, which
he knows that Jungkook can see. “Would you like some toasted bread with… hm… jam?”
“Butter, please.”
“Good pick.”
│►
Taehyung has barely stepped foot in the apartment when a hand grabs his wrist, pulling him in and
further dragging him towards the room. “Oh—” he says as he trips, Jungkook giving him little to
no time to even catch himself, still getting pulled by the arm just as fast.
“I’m on the verge of a meltdown.” Jungkook says once they get into the room. Taehyung blinks at
the mess on top of the bed. Every piece of clothing that Jungkook owns is now on a pile on the
mattress. Taehyung can even see some of his own items. “What do I put on? Please, help.”
“I think that just some pants, some jeans that don’t have any rips, for starters, then we match
something to them, which ones do you like best?” he asks. Jungkook takes a few steps towards the
mess, pushing things to the side before he finds a pair of black fitted jeans.
He holds them up. “Would these do?” Taehyung nods. “Right, I’ll put them on.” their eyes fall
down to the towel around Jungkook’s hips when the latter goes to remove it, before Taehyung
turns around with a giggle. Jungkook chuckles. “You didn’t have to turn.” he half-teases.
“It’s just— I don’t know, it felt polite.” Taehyung explains, slowly turning back around with just
one eye open, only to see Jungkook already in a pair of black boxers and pulling his jeans up in one
leg. “What do you feel like putting on? What do you feel like wearing with that?”
“I don’t know, I’m not the most fashionable guy, I just like to be comfortable.” he huffs. “You
dress fancy every day, you should be the one deciding. I’d go with a hoodie and call it a day…”
“I see.” Taehyung nods, looking at the pile. “I feel like you should just put on a button-up and that
would be all. Pair it with some matching shoes and you’re good to go.” he goes on as he grabs a
black button-up shirt, opening it before he hands it over. “You’ll look good in these.”
“I don’t want to look like I’m trying too hard.” Jungkook comments. “But I also don’t want to look
like I’m not trying at all.” he tilts his head, still buttoning up the shirt. Taehyung just quietly
watches him. “I’m surprised that this still fits me, I haven’t worn it in— ever, I’ve never worn it.”
“You look really handsome; it fits you well.” Taehyung nods, giving him a once-over. “I like the fit
and your hair looks nice, what did you do to it? It’s so wavy and puffy. How did you do that?”
“I forgot to dry it myself, it just air-dried and it turned out like this.” he shrugs “I should cut my
hair, actually, it’s getting a bit out of control, isn’t it? It’s past my eyes already, it’s weird.”
“No…!” Taehyung complains. “Don’t cut your hair, I really like it like that, it’s long but not too
long, it looks really good… it’s so puffy that it makes me want to just grab it.” he gestures.
“Alright, thank you.” Jungkook looks away, a faint blush on his cheeks. “I’d let you grab it, but I
can’t have it all messy right now, so maybe later.” he promises. “Tie? Should I put one on?”
“Nah, that’s way too formal.” Taehyung quickly shakes his head. “I think that you’re good to go
like this, you look professional, but also handsome.” the younger steps closer, fixing the collar
around Jungkook’s neck. “Now yes.” he nods, running his hands down on his shoulders.
“Thank you, Tae.” Jungkook looks down at himself, smiling at his housemate once again. “I was
stressing myself out, here by myself. I really don’t want to mess this up, this is my one chance.”
“You won’t mess it up.” Taehyung tsks. “You have this already, you’ll be accepted, I know it. Text
me immediately, whether you get it or not, alright?” he requests. “I want to know right away.”
“Can I call instead?” Taehyung’s shine at the suggestion, nodding a few times. “Then I will.”
“We have to celebrate it if you get the job, by the way. A nice dinner, or maybe just some fast
food, sounds good?” Jungkook snickers. “Hey, I’m serious, this is an important thing.”
“Alright, alright, if I get the job, we’ll eat out somewhere.” Taehyung looks satisfied with the
answer. “We should have lunch now, before we’re both late. I’ve cooked it already, c’mon.”
“Yes, yes, go on, I just have to grab some things for work and I’ll be right behind you.” Taehyung
bites the inside of his cheek, chest feeling all sorts of tight and warm. He’s happy, so happy.
“Ok, I’ll wait in the kitchen.” Jungkook steps closer to kiss his forehead, as always, but something
yells at him to stop before he gets the chance to do so. Too soon. “I’ll— Yeah, I’ll wait there.”
Taehyung watches as he leaves the bedroom and he lets out a squeal against his palms once he’s
alone. Jungkook is interacting with him again. A little reserved, not like before, still, but major
steps forward were taken. Having his family over really brought them close again.
He can’t believe that they even fell asleep the way that they did, he didn’t think that Jungkook
would ever accept him back in, but he seems to be doing just that, to be allowing him in slowly and
carefully, and Taehyung couldn’t be happier. All that he wants is for them to be ok.
That doesn’t sound as impossible now.
│►
Jungkook wipes his sweaty palms on his jeans as the man in front of him finishes going over
something on a pile of papers, the café rather busy around them. Seojoon clears his throat after
around another minute before looking up at him. “So, you’re Jungkook, right? Twenty-seven, if I
remember it correctly?” he asks, recalling what Yoongi told him earlier on the day.
“Yes, yes, that’s me.” Jungkook nods with a polite smile. “Yoongi said many good things about
this place… I’ve never come here myself, but I know that the service is great.” he comments.
“Oh, Yoongi is a good friend, I wouldn’t expect any less from him.” Seojoon chuckles as he rests
back on his chair. “But we’re here for you, I know that you’ve worked at a gas station, so you’re
used to having some direct contact with customers, am I correct?” he checks.
“Yes, I am. Well, it wasn’t anything too big, but I did have to talk to them, yes. I can’t say that I
was ever rude or anything…” he drags a little, unsure if it’s a good thing to say about himself or if
it just screams that he’s desperate. He doesn’t want to sound like he’s lying.
“Ok, that’s great to know, some people really aren’t made to talk to the public, so I have to be sure
that you won’t be working with a scowl on your face and an attitude.” Seojoon explains as he sits
up straight. “Would you be ok with working the morning shift? From eight to four, though you’d
have to be here just a little sooner to set things up and all. I offer lunch when you want to eat here
and you can take breaks for a snack if you’d like, a short coffee break, whatever.”
“Yes, I prefer early shifts, anyway.” he smiles. “Morning shifts are absolutely no problem.”
Seojoon nods. “Are you a smoker? You guys always take way too many breaks.”
“I once was, but not anymore, we won’t have that issue.” Jungkook rubs his thighs, trying to calm
himself down a little. He doesn’t want to mess up, but he doesn’t want to hide something so huge
from an employer. “I have to mention something before I get my hopes up—”
“Yoongi already told me about that, it’s ok.” the man raises his hand, immediately getting the
point. “I’m actually impressed that you were willingly going to tell me about it, most people would
try to hide the fact.” he praises. “I like you, Jungkook, you seem like an honest man.”
“I try to be.” Jungkook bites down on his bottom lip. “Lying never does any good. To anyone.”
Seojoon nods again; captivated. “I couldn’t agree more… Tell me, would you like to work for a
few hours and leave at eight today? So that I can see how you adapt and so that you can start
learning the basics. Or you can have your first day tomorrow and work the full hours already, it’s
your call, really. I’m pretty positive that I will keep you, but I still have to see… if you’re a bad
worker, having a good personality won’t keep you here for long.”
“Then I hope that I’m good at taking coffees.” Seojoon laughs and Jungkook’s a little surprised
that his words were taken as a joke. He was dead-serious; he forces a chuckle of his own. “I don’t
have anything to do, I can work today, totally fine by me.” his plans were to drink and sleep.
“C’mon, let’s get you started, then.” he leads the way, Jungkook trailing right after him, only
stopping once they’re behind the counter and the man reaches under it to get a new, clean apron.
Jungkook takes it, tying it up as they wait for his coworker to return from the tables. He’s not the
most sociable person like he used to be in teenager years, but he’ll try.
“So, this is Jungkook; Jungkook, this is Jihan but we all call him Han.” Seojoon gestures towards
the both of them, Jungkook still tying the apron around his middle. “You two won’t work together,
because he clocks in as you leave, but he will be the one to show you around today.”
“Hey.” Jungkook bows with a little nervous smile.
“Hey, Jungkook.” the young man bows as well. “It’s my first time showing anyone around, so I
may lack on my teaching skills. Please, try to keep up, but don’t hesitate to ask me to repeat.”
“That’s alright.” Jungkook chuckles. “I’m a fast learner, you don’t have to worry much.”
“That’s good… I’ll do my best.”
“I’ll leave you two to it, call me if you need anything.” Seojoon bows to the both of them.
“Thank you so much.” Jungkook makes sure to say one last time before focusing all of his attention
on his new coworker as their boss walks away, back to the small office. “Hey, again.”
“I remember you from high school.” the other says, tapping his shoulder. “My girlfriend at the time
used to joke around saying that she’d leave me in a second if you just looked in her direction.
Which you did. Turns out, it wasn’t a joke and she left me for a hookup… but anyway.”
“Oh, shit, I’m sorry.” Jungkook blinks; he wasn’t exactly seeing that coming. “I have no idea of
who you are or who she is but still, I’m so sorry, that probably sucked a lot, I apologize.”
“Kim Soo-Min?” it doesn’t ring any bells and Jungkook already feels horrible.
“I have no idea of who that is.” he scratches the back of his neck. “Too many— uhm, yeah.”
“That’s somehow even worse.” Jihan looks away for a moment. “It did suck balls, but then she was
heartbroken too, and I felt quite good about the fact that you didn’t want to date her.” Jihan laughs.
Jungkook blinks again. “I remember that I wanted to go up to you to give you a piece of my mind,
but I was kind of intimidated, so I didn’t.” he adds. “You look good, man, the years were nice
you.” they weren’t, Jungkook wants to say, but decides not to.
“Thanks, I’d say the same but— don’t know how you were ten years ago.” he tilts his head. “This
is the weirdest fucking introduction that we could have, I don’t even know what the hell to say.”
“Oh, don’t say that, these are waters under the bridge, it’s been so long that it doesn’t matter
anymore. It’s cool to meet people from high school, I lost contact with everyone. Sometimes I see
some old classmates coming here, but as customers, they’re not my friends.” Jihan shrugs his
shoulders. “Life is funny, we all turned out so different... Anyway, should we get started? No hard
feelings, dude, I just wanted to tell you that, I don’t hold any grudges.” he pats Jungkook’s back
twice, grinning. “Should I show you around now?”
“Yes, that would be great.” Jungkook nods. “Still, again, I’m so sorry about your girl, I was terrible
in high school, I’m not proud of anything that I did back then, I truly apologize.”
“It’s ok… and yeah, I remember you really well, you had quite the reputation.” Jihan cackles. “Do
you know how to take coffees? It’s ok if you don’t, I didn’t know shit when I got here three years
ago, I’ll just teach you everything from scratch. Do you?”
“Not really…” Jungkook shakes his head. “Actually, before we start all of this, would it be ok if I
left to make a phone call? Just a minute, maybe even less. I didn’t know that I was going to start
right away and I have—” Jihan waves him off with an immediate nod.
“Yes, yes, of course, go on.” Jungkook hesitates to leave. “Don’t worry, you can go.”
“Alright, I’ll be right back.” he says as he unlocks his phone, leaving in a rush with his finger
already hovering over Taehyung’s contact. He has to let him know as soon as possible; he can’t
possibly wait until he gets off. He’s too eager and too happy about it.
│►
“...and it wasn’t very tiring, though some stuff is a bit confusing, especially since I have never
worked with these things, but I think that I did good. Seojoon told me to be there tomorrow again
for the morning shift.” he speaks, excited, a soft smile adorning his features.
Taehyung listens, nodding and smiling just as enthusiastically. “How were the customers? Was
everyone nice to you?” he steals a fry from Jungkook’s plate, the latter slapping his hand playfully,
given that it’s possibly the tenth time that he’s doing so. He doesn’t actually mind it.
“Yeah, everyone was ok, no one was rude or anything… but I also only worked for four hours, so I
can’t really say that it’ll always have nice people visiting.” Jungkook shrugs his shoulders. “I’m
happy, Tae. Seojoon told me how much I’ll be earning and it’s more than double from what I got
in the gas station, I’ll be able to— I’ll be able to not be so damn miserable all the fucking time.”
“I’m really happy, too.” Taehyung smiles. “I’m so, so happy and proud of you— I’m actually
tearing up a little bit.” Jungkook laughs, warm and bubbly, his hand already reaching forward to
wipe the little tears that he can see in Taehyung’s eyes. He doesn’t like seeing him cry.
“Are you that happy I’m finally leaving the apartment?” Taehyung laughs too, shaking his head.
“I’m just happy that you’re finally having good things happen to you and that you’ll finally be paid
like you should, that you won’t struggle with money, at least not as much and that— that you’re
talking to me. I’m… I’m really happy that you’re talking to me again, hyung.”
Jungkook pries his hand away slowly, seemingly rather surprised. “Oh.” he says. “I didn’t… really
notice it.” his voice comes out thin, realization hitting him. “This just feels so natural that— I don’t
know, this feels right… I didn’t realize that I was being so open and engaging…” he looks up,
shoulders relaxing when he sees that Taehyung is still smiling, even if a smaller grin. “I have to
say, though, I’m still hurt. However, being in the situation that we were, hurt even more… so I
want to move forward and try to put it behind our backs. Just know that it really took a toll on me, I
won’t be able to take a stunt like that again. Promise that it’ll never happen again, Tae.”
“I promise, hyung, I’ll never let my own concerns and struggles get the best of me, I’ll never let
my judgment be clouded the way that it did. I promised to be understanding with you at all times
because you’ve never shown me anything other than, and I assure you that you’ll never get
anything from me apart from what I should give you as a friend and as your therapist.” Taehyung
quickly grabs his hand, their fingers intertwining at their own will. “You won’t be hurt by me ever
again, Jungkook, I promise you.” he drops the honorifics, his hand squeezing the other’s tightly.
“Alright.” the older man smiles, squeezing his hand back. “Alright, baby steps, just like we’ve
been doing. It’s been working really well, we just need to keep doing what we’ve been doing.”
“Yes, hyung.” Taehyung leans closer to press a kiss to their linked hands. “Baby steps.”
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discus...
◄│ 37 │►
Chapter Notes
Taehyung puts his phone down when the smell of pancakes reaches his nose and he’s confused as
to why and how is the sudden smell coming to the bedroom. Jungkook must still be asleep and that
realization has him sitting up in a second. Who in the world is—
Oh. Jungkook got a new job, he remembers. He hurriedly gets up, a smile already on his face, and
he’s met with Simba sleeping right in front of the door. He picks her up, quickly on his feet to meet
Jungkook in the kitchen. “Morning.” Taehyung wishes.
Jungkook turns to him, his mouth full of whatever it is he’s eating, a mug on his left hand and the
other continues to cook the pancakes. He swallows everything to smile. “Morning, Tae. You
brought the rat, I just fed her.” Taehyung groans, putting the small cat on the floor.
“I thought that we were over the rat thing.” Jungkook laughs.
“Nope.” he says as he takes out the last pancake, turning off the stove. “I already ate so I’ll be
leaving right now… I cooked for you, though, and I hope that it’s—” he stops once Taehyung
points towards his mug, silently asking for it, and he hands it over, confused.
Taehyung takes it to his nose, smelling the mug. It smells like coffee. Only coffee. “You’ll do
amazing on your first day, hyung. I hope that it goes well, but I’m sure that it will.” he says,
handing the mug back. Jungkook looks down at it in silence, mustering the courage to bring up
what he knows that Taehyung is thinking. It’s always tough to mention it.
“I won’t drink there.” he says after a few seconds in silence. “I promise.” Jungkook puts the mug
down, leaning against the counter. “I don’t want to fuck this up, not again. I don’t want to
disappoint you… or Yoongi, or even— myself. I won’t drink while working there.” he assures.
“I know.” Taehyung nods. “I was just making sure, I want you to be ok and sober… at all times,
but since your nightmares make it impossible, then just at work. I want you to be sober at work so
that nothing bad happens.” he smiles. “Oh, and you could never disappoint me.”
“Stop, you’ll make me blush. Regarding my sobriety at work, I will be. Promise.” Taehyung
laughs as the older man sticks his pinky finger, holding it out for him. “Pinky promise is a really
serious deal, you know.” Jungkook cocks his head towards it.
Taehyung links it with his own. “I know, the pinky promise that we made when Hyungsik left was
maintained very well.” he agrees, smile unwavering.
“I’m a man of my word.” Jungkook leans in, kissing their hands and Taehyung does the same. “I
have to go now, alright? I made pancakes… may not be the best, but there was an attempt. It’s the
intention that counts, and they were made with a lot of care and adoration.”
“I’m sure that they’re great.” Taehyung reassures. “Also, text me during your lunch break, I want
to know how you’re doing on your first day.” he requests. “If you don’t mind… of course.”
“I will, don’t worry. See you later, angel.” he leans closer to press a kiss on Taehyung’s cheek,
though it ends up a little off-centered, his lips almost accidentally catching Taehyung’s. He then
proceeds to get his jacket before he leaves, not even waiting for a reply. Taehyung just chuckles.
Jungkook skips the building’s stairs, tripping over his own feet at least twice. He pulls his phone
out, searching for Yoongi’s number before making the call, biting down his bottom lip. “Hey
Kooks, good morning.” he’s greeted after it rings three times. “Are you on your way to work?”
Yoongi asks. Jungkook smiles even bigger.
“Yes, I am.” Jungkook confirms. “I just wanted to say… I don’t really say these things often, but
I’m so fucking thankful, not only because you got me a job, but also just— I’m just so, so thankful
for this. For you and Seokjin.” he says, lower this time, voice a little shy. “For all that you two have
done for me since we first met.” it’s almost a whisper now. He’s never spoken like this.
Not with them, that is. He does it all the time with Taehyung, but that’s different.
“We know that, Kooks. You would’ve done the same for me and for him so, seriously, don’t thank
us. We love you, Jungkook, we only want what’s best for you and we’re not looking for thank
you’s or anything of the sort.” he looks down with a heavy breath stuck in his throat. He hasn’t
heard those words in… he can’t even remember. So long.
“Same.” is all that he can say, unable to repeat those words back. “Thank you, still.”
“Come over on Friday so that we can have some dinner and celebrate you getting a new and good
job, alright? I’ll ask Jin to come too…” Yoongi offers, one of his eyebrows raised suggestively,
though Jungkook can’t see it.
“Can I take Taehyung with me?” Jungkook asks, silence following suit.
He can practically hear his best friend thinking. “Taehyung?” Yoongi finally asks. “Would you
like to explain that one for me?” Jungkook chuckles, running to cross the road, not really looking
forward to being late on his first day.
“We’re talking small steps, but he’s my bestest best friend. I really care for him and I enjoy talking
to him, he just makes me feel at ease, you know? He helps in ways that no one has ever been able
to, and I think that that’s more significant than one mistake. He’s apologized and I know that he’s
truly sorry, so...” Jungkook says as he scratches the back of his neck. “Being away won’t do any
good and talking makes us both feel incredible. It helps us— We help each other.”
“If I didn’t know better, I’d think that you’re talking about a boyfriend.” Jungkook laughs right
away because it’s so funny; it sounds like an impossible joke. “I have to go now, I wish you all the
best of luck, alright? I know that you’ll do great, you’re good at everything and you’re the smartest
guy that I’ve ever known. You’ll do good.” Jungkook smiles.
“Thank you, Yoongs.” he can feel his cheeks heating up, but decides not to mention it.
“It’s nothing.”
│►
Jungkook yawns a little into his sweater paw, stretching his back before pushing the café’s door
open. He can see a girl already wiping the tables even if the coffee shop is still empty given that
it’s not time to open just yet. She looks up, immediately showcasing a smile.
“I thought that they were joking when they said that I wouldn’t go on working alone the whole
morning anymore.” she throws her rag to the counter, walking closer. “Hey, dude.” she greets.
“Hey, I’m—” Jungkook stops as she holds her closed fist up and he, rather confusedly, meets it
with his own. “I’m Jungkook.” he introduces himself, a little nervous. He wants to make a good
impression, and he really wants his coworker to be nice and easy-going.
“I know, they told me. You’re Jeon — I think that that’s what Seojoon said — Jungkook, will
work morning shifts with me and not work weekends.” he hums; that’s right. “I’m Eunjae but
everyone calls me Jae, it’s easier and faster.” she explains. “How old are you? They didn’t tell me.”
“I’ll be twenty-eight soon.” Jungkook tilts his head, trying to guess the other’s age. She definitely
looks young and she has so much energy— at least so it seems — that he’s led to assume that she
can’t be older than twenty-five. Maybe even twenty, but he can’t be too sure.
“Damn. You’re old.” Jungkook’s jaw falls in utter shock, taking a step back. “Actually, you’re as
old as Jihan… Fun, you two would probably get along just right, two old dudes.” Jungkook
watches as she gets her rag back, resuming her initial task to clean all the tables.
“That’s so rude and disrespectful—”
“I’m nineteen, by the way.” Eunjae informs. “Don’t take me too seriously, I just like making fun of
people, but I don’t mean to offend, it’s just that that’s how I bond.” she explains, giving him a big
smile. “And you should change into your uniform, boss left it on your new locker, so you should
get dressed, we will open in ten minutes.”
“Right, ok. Just— Just don’t call me old, what the fuck…” he mumbles. “That’s just sad.” Eunjae
laughs, waving him off as he goes back to the private workers’ room, standing in front of his locker
in silence for a few seconds. The doors are made of glass, so they’re see-through.
Everything kept inside them, is visible to whoever decides to peek.
Jungkook gulps. He can’t possibly leave any drinks there like that.
Not that he wants to… does he?
He shouldn’t, he doesn’t want to mess up this opportunity, and he most certainly doesn’t want to
get fired over the same issue again. He doesn’t want to get fired for drinking and continue the
cycle. He’s had enough of drinking on the job, so he feels relieved that it’s see-through.
Jungkook gets dressed in a few minutes, making sure that his hair and apron are fixed to perfection
before going back there, all of his belongings left in the locker — excluding his phone that he
keeps in the front pocket of the apron. Someone may need him, something may happen.
“Hello, again.” Eunjae greets. “What made you apply here?” she leans on the counter, the café still
empty, even though the doors are now open. It’s very early, so it’s not a surprise that there aren’t
any customers just yet. Jungkook raises an eyebrow at the question.
“Being unemployed—?” his coworker rolls her eyes.
“Are you reserved? I talk a lot, just… just that so you know.” Jungkook rubs his eyes, not even
sure of what to say. Yes, he’s reserved, but it’s also not like he doesn’t talk to people. As long as
she doesn’t get too personal, he won’t necessarily have a problem with it.
“I don’t think that I’m that reserved, it depends on what the conversation is about. If you ask
personal questions, you won’t get an answer, it’s as simple as that.” Eunjae smirks. “What?”
“That’s just interesting.” she shrugs. “How did things work yesterday? Was it smooth? It’s not that
hard to work here, is it? Jihan can be a piece to handle on his bad days…”
“Nah, it was ok, actually.” Jungkook puckers his lips in thought. “Jihan explained basically
everything to me… or at least most of it, and it didn’t seem like that complicated, I think that we
worked well together. All things considered.” he admits.
“That's good, that's good.” she nods ever so slowly, looking up at him again. “I’m bored, tell me
something, where did you work before coming here?” Jungkook chuckles.
“I worked at a gas station, fifteen minutes away from here.” Eunjae tilts her head. “It wasn’t that
fun, I actually hated it so much, so I can only hope not to feel the same way about this job...”
“I’m sure that you won’t feel that way. I’ve been working here for almost a year already, and I
really like it. I dropped out of college to work full-time, I really like working here and I feel like I
was born for this.” Jungkook takes a second to assimilate that.
“You were born to make lattes—?” he has to check, sure that he’s misinterpreted, and she laughs as
well, only then realizing how stupid her words may have sounded to the older man.
“No, no, not like that. I think that I was born to open my own coffee shop in the future, you know?
All cute and cozy, pastries all around… good coffee and good workers… I like that, it brings me
comfort to imagine. I want that for my future.” Jungkook nods with a hum. “What about you? No
bigger plans?” the man looks down, of course the question had to be turned to him.
“Not for now, at least.” he decides that giving some type of answer may help to take the
conversation away from him, rather than no answer at all. “There are people coming, I’ll go there.”
“You really don’t like talking about yourself, huh.”
“Yeah, I don’t.” Eunjae giggles.
“You’re going to hate me.”
“That’s… reassuring.”
│►
Jungkook hums a melody to himself as he waits for the coffee mug to fill up, tapping his fingers on
the counter, when a hand pats his shoulder twice. He turns around, looking down at his much
shorter coworker, Eunjae standing there with a smile. “What’s wrong?” he asks.
“Oh, nothing is wrong. On the contrary… it’s only your first day and there’s already a hot girl
asking to be served by you.” Jungkook furrows his eyebrows, confused. “Yeah, third table to the
right. You go there, I’ll finish this for you.” she pats his shoulder again, encouraging.
“But who—” he stops talking as soon as he glances at the table, his eyes widening. The young
woman waves at him with a little smirk, motioning for him to go there. “Right, I’ll take care of that
table…” Jungkook informs, going around the counter. Eunjae tries not to stare.
“I have never stepped foot inside this coffee shop, I only came here today because my usual one is
closed for maintenance. It’s destiny, you know.” Yun says as soon as he stops next to her table.
“I’ve never believed in destiny, but this is literally my first day here.” he chuckles.
Yun gasps. “Really?!”
“Yeah.” he nods, just as surprised. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it? A few months, I’d say.” Jungkook
comments as he puts his hands in the pocket of his apron, only his thumbs peeking out. Casual.
“I’m happy to know that you even remember me, we were both pretty drunk.” she rests her chin on
her palm, batting her eyelashes just a little slower. Flirting, Jungkook can tell, it’s pretty obvious,
and he’s flattered. He hasn’t flirted with anyone in so long, that he thought that he had totally lost
his charm somewhere through the years. Apparently not. Good.
“I wouldn’t forget you—”
“Because I’m so pretty?” she cuts in and Jungkook raises an eyebrow.
“No, because you complimented my dog.” Yun frowns, resting back against the chair instead, a big
pout on her lips. Jungkook laughs. “I’m joking, you’re very pretty, you got that right. I was going to
get your number on that night, the only reason that I didn’t was because we were both drunk and
I’ve reached an age where meaningless hookups don’t feel that exciting anymore.”
“I don’t even know how old you are, but that’s honestly cute. The universe wants us to go on a
date, though, it’s clearly pushing us to each other, don’t you think?” Jungkook stares at her for a
few seconds, unsure of what to do. Yun is attractive, yes, she’s also seemingly nice and fairly
polite, he wouldn’t mind going on a date if that’s what she’s also hinting to.
But is he ready to go on a date? He doesn’t believe in universe signs. Pure coincidence, yes. A sign
for them to date? Pretty impossible. “I’m twenty-seven.” he rushes to say once he realizes that the
silence has dragged out for too long for comfort.
Yun blinks. “Did you just ignore the whole ‘let’s go on a date’ thing?” she asks with an accusing
finger pointed right at him. “I’m twenty-one, and you just got even more attractive, I like my men
older… twenty-seven is a sexy number.” Jungkook chuckles.
“If you’re looking for a sugar daddy, it’s really not going to work out for you.”
Yun covers her face with both hands, laughing into her palms. “No, just a sexy, older boyfriend.”
“Jungkook, can you get that tea boiling thingy for me, please?” the aforementioned turns back to
his coworker, seeing her stretch her arm as far as she can, trying to reach the higher shelf.
“Yeah, of course, give me a second.” his eyes land on Yun again, offering her a little apologetic
smile. “I have to go back there, but can I get you anything?” he asks, gesturing to the counter.
“Oh— Yes, just a double coffee, please. Two sugars.” Jungkook nods, smiling one last time before
turning on his heels to go help Eunjae, who’s still trying her best to get the item that she needs.
“Here.” he hands it over.
“Thank you, I used to have to climb the counter to get shit, you’ll be my personal… reacher.”
“That’s not a thing.” Jungkook points.
“It is now.” Eunjae shrugs. “Anyway, what did the hot girl want from you, hm? A coffee? Your
number? Your pants gone? Your—” Jungkook raises a finger to stop her before she can go on.
“She just wanted a coffee, shut up.”
“Boring.”
A few minutes go by before Yun approaches the counter to pay, Eunjae being the one to accept the
money, so she doesn’t exchange anything else other than a wink with Jungkook. He figures that it’s
good a good thing; he’s terrible at flirting and he wouldn’t know what to do.
Jungkook blinks down at the mug that he was just about to scrub before putting in the dishwasher,
spotting the bright red lipstick. It’s Yun’s mug, he knows that, she was the only one walking in
with red lipstick. Jungkook sighs. He didn’t get her number. Again.
“Hey.” Eunjae calls, next to the trashcan. “I almost threw this out, it was on the table.” she turns
the napkin to him, something scribbled down in cute handwriting. There’s a heart drawn instead of
a dot on top of the ‘i’ in Jungkookie and Yun’s number is the only thing there, next to her lips
imprinted on the paper. She clearly kissed the napkin before leaving it there.
Jungkook walks closer to grab it, and then he just stares at it, Eunjae staring back at him.
“Dude, what the fuck are you waiting for?” she asks when he takes longer than twenty seconds to
actually make a decision. Jungkook nods, getting his phone out in a hurry.
He leans away when his coworker peeks towards his phone screen. “The f—”
“Who’s that? Who’s that angel contact right there with a blue heart? Dude, if you have a girlfriend,
then don’t text her. Give me the number instead, I want a girlfriend too.” Eunjae points an accusing
finger, trying to peek again.
“It’s not my girlfriend— Stop looking at my phone.” Jungkook complains, a frown evident on his
features, though Eunjae either doesn’t notice it. Or she pretends not to notice it.
“Who is it, then? You look like you’d have a boyfriend. Not judging, it’s a compliment.” she adds.
“It’s not my boyfriend either, it’s my best friend.” Jungkook sighs, putting his phone back in his
pocket alongside the napkin. He’ll text her later. “Stop invading my privacy.” he scolds.
“Nothing happens here, let me be entertained.” she rolls her eyes. “You should text her, it was such
a pretty girl, she seemed so interested in you... I know those eyes, she’s super into you.”
“I know that she’s interested, she left her damn number.” he pushes away when Eunjae clings onto
him to get his phone out again. “Stop intruding, oh my God, what the hell—?”
“Stop being mysterious, I just—”
“What the fuck do you mean with mysterious?! We just met, I’m not mysterious, you just have no
business being nosy.” Jungkook frowns, leaning on the counter. “I need a drink.” he mumbles.
“I’ll get you a coffee.” he closes his eyes with a tired chuckle. Yeah, not that. “How much sugar?”
“No sugar.” Eunjae stops to look at him with a squint, suspicious. “What now?” he asks, already
out of patience. It was going so well, but she’s too energetic, and he’s too tired for that.
She shrugs. “Only psychopaths like coffee with no sugar.”
Jungkook rolls his eyes. “Damn, you got me.” his coworker laughs, pushing the coffee mug
towards him. “Thanks.” he takes it, eyes on the immensity of alcohol bottles stored on one of the
shelves. He has to take a deep breath to keep himself from getting one of them out.
Eunjae seems to understand his intentions. “Do you want a little sip? Seojoon isn’t ok with us
drinking on the job, but I’m not a snitch. I’ll even take a shot with you, if you’d like.” she offers.
“You’re a minor.” Jungkook immediately points.
“I’m nineteen.” she raises an eyebrow.
“Oh, you act like you’re fourteen, I forg—”
“Shut up. I don’t.”
“Hm. Whatever helps you sleep at night.”
│►
“...I’m almost there.” Taehyung says, sending a little kiss, if that sound can be identified as that,
before ending the call as quickly as it started, Jungkook guesses he’s driving.
“Hey, Jungkook—?” he turns when there’s a small pat on his back, rolling his eyes when he sees
his coworker there. “Hold on, don’t roll your eyes at me.” she frowns. “I wanted to apologize for
earlier; I know that I can be a little nosy… like, a little too much.”
“Oh, shit, really? I didn’t notice.” Eunjae slaps his arm. His jaw falls in surprise. “You have some
damn nerve. I’m almost ten years older than you, have some—”
“You don’t seem older… Anyway, I wanted to apologize to you, sincerely. I just want the mood to
always be up and… yeah, I can be a little nosy because I like to have a close relationship with
people. I don’t want you to hate me, just give me your boundaries and I won’t cross them again.”
Jungkook stares for a few seconds, before sighing. “Just stay away from my phone and don’t ask
things about me. Don’t get nosy, and we’ll be fine.” he shrugs. “I don’t like sharing or talking
about myself, just… keep it on surface level, okay? You don’t need the details of my life.”
“Damn.” she muses. “You really are mysterious, if I was straight, I’d be s o crushing on you by
now.” Jungkook pinches the bridge of his nose, checking his phone again, longing for Taehyung to
finally arrive and save him of such a torment. “Now, text the girl. The pretty one. Text her.”
“No, it will seem desperate, it’s only been a few hours.” he steps back, waving his hands.
“Dude, I know women, they want us to seem interested. If you don’t show that you’re eager then
they’ll think that you’re lazy and cannot commit to shit, make the damn move.” Eunjae rolls her
eyes, motioning towards the phone. Jungkook frowns because, he must admit, that sounds like a
smart piece of advice and it does sound very plausible. “Go for it, she’ll be thrilled.”
“I don’t know what to send.” Jungkook complains and she holds her hand out, gesturing for him to
hand his phone. He hesitates. “No, I don’t trust you, I’ll come up with something.” Eunjae places
her hands on her hips, watching in complete silence as he takes his sweet time typing and deleting,
as many times as necessary until he finally presses send. “Done. I sent it.”
“What did you say to her— Let me read—” she peeks, reading the one and only word on the
screen. ‘Hey’, it says. “Actually—? Did you actually just send an ‘hey’? This is so fucking— I
can’t believe my eyes. You'll be single, like, forever, I’m telling you.”
“Don’t say that, that's just sad.” he mumbles. “Did I completely blow it?” Eunjae laughs, throwing
her head back, hands on her stomach. Jungkook frowns even more. He doesn’t find it that funny.
“Probably.” they both stop when they feel a third presence.

Jungkook’s smile comes back right away and he locks his phone, placing it in his pocket. “Hey.”
“Hi, hyung.” Taehyung steps closer, kissing Jungkook’s temple, whose eyes shut while he still
feels those soft lips against the skin of his forehead. “Hello to you t—”
“Is this the angel?” Eunjae asks and Taehyung’s confused eyes immediately fall on the elder
amongst them. Jungkook’s a mere second away from facepalming. “I should leave you two to it
now, you look like you want to kill me.” she giggles, waving at them rather teasingly. “Bye!”
“Goodbye…?” Taehyung waves, awkward and confused. “Who’s that girl?” he asks.
“Remember when I said that Yugyeom was annoying?” Jungkook asks, his hands grabbing onto
Taehyung’s. “I take it back, he’s an angel, really, an absolute angel. I didn’t know someone like her
could fucking exist.” Taehyung laughs, his eyes disappearing into the apples of his cheeks.
“Hyung—”
“Tell me where I went wrong in life, karma fucking hates me.” he complains more. “Stop, don’t
laugh at this, it’s not funny at all, this is so upsetting.” Jungkook goes on, perhaps a bit too
dramatic, but it’s making Taehyung laugh and he loves that sound, so he continues.
“Try seeing it like this, people annoy you and get so close because everyone loves you right
away.” Jungkook goes quiet. “Everyone just wants to befriend you, Koo, you’re impossible to
dislike, you know?” Taehyung smiles, bopping his nose. “That’s why everyone… annoys you.”
Jungkook looks away in thought. He’s never thought of it like that.
“C’mon, let’s go home, hyung, I’m starving.” Taehyung gestures, one of his hands reaching to hold
onto Jungkook’s to pull him along. “Tell me about work, how was it today?”
“You… want to listen?” Jungkook blinks, a little surprised. “It wasn’t that interesting…”
“You listen to my days, why wouldn’t I want to listen to yours?” Taehyung giggles. “Tell me.”
Jungkook smiles. “Oh. Okay—”
│►
Taehyung laughs a little more to himself before knocking on the bathroom door and pushing it
open, only to peek his head inside. He can see Jungkook’s silhouette behind the shower curtain as
the water is still on, though he can’t really see anything.
“Hey, hyungie… you got a text… I accidentally read it in the notification because I was playing on
your phone, and I had to come here to ask: what the fuck.” Jungkook pushes his head between the
curtain and the wall, his wet black locks falling on the sides of his face. He doesn’t even try to hide
how surprised he is just from hearing a curse word spilling from Taehyung’s lips.
“What does it say?” he asks.
“Can I open it?” Jungkook immediately nods. “Right, so you said ‘hey’ and this person asked, and
I quote, ‘is this the guy who said that my boobs looked funny’, and I don’t know what to think of
this, because this is... questionable, to say the least.” Jungkook only blinks.
“Yun replied?” he smiles. “I got her number today… she went to the coffee shop. Coincidence.”
“Yun?” Taehyung tilts his head. “Oh, your one-night stand that one time? You told her that her
boobs looked funny? How did she still sleep with you?!” Jungkook’s laughs as he goes back inside
the shower, his head disappearing past the shower curtain. “Hey, it’s an actual question.”
“That’s beside the point… I’m just too charming and hot.” Taehyung laughs. “But… I’ll tell you
how I got her number if you don’t have a problem with me showering over here.” he offers.
“No problem, nope. You can tell me all about it.” Taehyung agrees as he sits himself on top of the
sink, praying for it not to break under his weight. “So, what happened?”
“She went to the café and we talked for a bit, like, a minute or something… it was nice knowing
that she remembers me as well, you know? Could’ve been totally meaningless, but she remembers
me and she’s still interested. Then she left her number on a napkin, and I texted her because my
coworker was pressuring me. I still think that I should’ve waited a little longer to do it.” Jungkook
explains while slowly massaging the shampoo into his hair, eyes on the wall.
Taehyung is silent for a moment, processing it.
Jungkook sighs. “I didn’t tell you because part of me thought that she wouldn’t reply, to be honest
with you… please don’t be upset, I wasn’t hiding it or anything. I would tell you…”
“I’m not upset at all, I’m happy for you. And why wouldn’t she? You’re a great guy and she’s
obviously interested, otherwise she wouldn’t leave her number and she wouldn’t have slept with
you after you commented on her breasts.” Taehyung smiles to himself when Jungkook groans,
embarrassed. “Are you going to take her on a date, perhaps?”
“Maybe… I don’t really know where I can take her, I’m still broke.” he mumbles.
“If you two click in that way, then the location shouldn’t be important. Just take her to the park
since she liked Moon, get some food and whatnot. Just talking and bonding can be better than an
expensive date, you know.” he shrugs. “She’ll enjoy it, I’m sure of it.” Jungkook hums.
“Is that good enough for a first date, though? Isn’t it… too, I don’t know, simple?” Jungkook
frowns to himself. “I don’t know how to do relationships anymore, this shit sucks balls.”
“Wash your mouth with bodywash, while you’re at it.” Taehyung jokes.
“Fuck no.” they both cackle. “Curse words are a great form of self-expression.
“Whatever makes you happy… And, listen, you’re honestly an amazing guy, you’re smart and
easy to talk to; the way that you speak is really captivating and it’s hard to dislike you. You just
have to make it special; the placement shouldn’t matter… if she likes you for you, then she will
enjoy it.” Taehyung says, a little more serious. “My favorite date that I’ve had was at a
McDonald’s, he probably spent ten bucks with the whole thing, and I loved it.”
“I don’t even know if I’m ready for this.” Jungkook says after a few seconds of silence. Taehyung
watches as he pulls the towel into the shower, the curtain getting pushed away some seconds after.
Jungkook steps out with the towel around his waist, sitting on the closed toilet lid, facing him.
“What if I’m terrible? What if… Yeah, what if I’m just terrible?”
“Terrible at what?”
“I don’t know— dating?” he sighs, running his fingers through his wet hair. “I hate opening up and
talking about myself and— and isn’t that something important between a couple? Maybe I
shouldn’t do this, I’m not comfortable enough and she’ll hate me for being closed off.”
“Honesty is important, but we’re not talking about just being honest. You’ve had a lot of things
happening in the past, things that you don’t want to just bring back. She has to understand, like I
do, and like your friends do. She has to.” Jungkook nods, letting the words sink in. “The real
question is, do you feel ready for a relationship?”
“What’s the feeling like?” Taehyung giggles.
“Well, for example, when I think of dating, I still have images of Sik popping into my mind, it
makes me a little hesitant and it doesn’t feel appealing. I don’t want to date anyone and think of
them as an abusive man.” Taehyung explains. “So, I know that I’m not ready to date just yet.”
Jungkook looks down. “I don’t really think of anything, I think of—” he stops as soon as the vivid
memories of him taking Taehyung into his arms appear in his mind. What the hell. “I just think of
you know, taking care of someone, being there for them…” it’s not a lie. “Holding them…”
“Then you’re probably ready. Being scared isn’t the same as not being ready.” he shrugs. “You
should go for it, just go on a date, you’re overthinking something that could be simple. You two
may not even click. Just because sex went well, doesn’t mean that romance will.”
“Right.” Jungkook nods. “Okay, thank you, I’ll text her and ask her out.”
Taehyung smiles. “That’s good, hyung.”
Jungkook smiles too; he’s happy. At least kind of.
The idea of having a date makes him feel a little excited. The kind of excitement that he hasn’t felt
in a long, long time, and he’s happy about that. He’s also tremendously scared, but Taehyung is
right as always: he can’t overthink this, it may be so simple.
He just hopes that they’ll click.
He wants someone to hold. Someone to kiss just to feel reassured.
He’s never had that, and he really wants it.
Maybe Yun is the one.
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 38 │►
Chapter Notes
Jungkook sighs, turning around on the couch yet again. He knows that he’s stalling, he knows that
he’s just trying to get away with not drinking but also not sleeping because exclude one and
nightmares come to play. He hates them, they haunt him so badly.
Staring up at the ceiling with wide eyes, he tries his best not to fall asleep; but he’s beyond
exhausted. He’s so tired, his feet hurt. Working at the gas station didn’t require him to move
around for eight straight hours. On top of that, after being at home for over a week, his body just
wants to rest after a full working shift. He needs a good night of sleep.
He stares at the bottles, his eyes closing for a few seconds: he doesn’t want to do it. He doesn’t
want to be an alcoholic forever, he just can’t do that, he can’t accept that faith. However, all of the
attempts so far, failed. His attempts at sleeping a peaceful night without having to be completely
wasted, failed in the most painful way. Every single attempt. He’s doomed.
There were only very few times where he didn’t dream of his past even without going to bed drunk.
He sits up to think more clearly of what could’ve happened in all those situations, maybe a
common occurrence could lead to answers. He can’t think of anything that had happened, apart
from Taehyung being there, so he’s back to—
Wait. Taehyung?
Jungkook gets up with his pillow under his arm, walking rather hesitantly to the bedroom. He
knocks twice before pushing the door open, and peeks inside. Taehyung’s head lifts up from the
pillows, confused as to why Jungkook’s going there in the middle of the night.
“Hyung?” he asks, sitting up. “Are you ok?”
“I’m alright… can I uh, can I sleep here?” Jungkook asks with a sheepish smile, pointing towards
the empty space on the bed. Taehyung’s eyes follow his finger, mind a little lazy to keep up.
“Of course, hyung… but did something happen?” he still has to ask, as he’s still confused. They’ve
never shared a bed like this, for no apparent reason, so he wonders whether there’s one or not.
“I was thinking of a way to sleep without booze and uh, I stopped to analyze all the times that I was
able to and the only well, thing, that is present every single time is you so— I don’t know, I wanted
to give it a try…?” he scratches the back of his neck. “It’s just a theory, though, I’m not a hundred
percent that it will work, so you can say no. I also don’t want to make you uncomfortable… we
don’t have to share the bed, if you don’t want to. Yeah. Just— Yeah.”
“Dummy, we’ve shared the bed before, I don’t mind, it doesn’t make me uncomfortable.”
“Are you sure?” Taehyung just nods with a smile. “It still may not work…”
“It’s worth the try, come here.” the younger says as he pats the bed and Jungkook smiles before
walking closer, placing his pillow on the mattress as he slowly lays down as well.
They both rest then, Taehyung unsure whether he can cuddle him or not after everything that
happened because, though Jungkook talks to him, he may not be comfortable with that yet. They
just lay on their backs with some space between them. Not much, but it’s definitely there.
Taehyung can sense Jungkook’s quick breathing, his foot impatiently moving, nervous and
hesitant. So, he turns his head to the side, only to see the older man staring up at the ceiling with
worry in his eyes, the faint light from the outside showing the crease between his brows.
“Why don’t you close your eyes?” Jungkook looks at him as well before sighing and looking back
up again. “Hey, talk to me...” Taehyung holds himself up on his forearm, staring down at the older
man. “Why don’t you sleep? Why don’t you close your eyes, hyung?”
“I’m… I guess nervous?” Jungkook shrugs. “I don’t want any dreams, and I know that there’s the
possibility of this not working, and I don’t know what I will dream of, and— I don’t know. I ended
up forgetting things that come back in those bad dreams and that’s so fucked up. I don’t know what
may come, I don’t know what I may remember because my brain decides to show it to me out of
nowhere. Something that I’ve long forgotten may come back just because. I’m scared.”
“I understand.” Taehyung nods. “But I’m here, hyung, and I’ll wake you up immediately if I hear
anything.” he smiles, warm and reassuring. “C’mon, close your eyes for me.” Jungkook does as
told, gulping. “Moon, hey, girl, come here.” he hears the blonde calling after the pet, the mattress
shifting soon after. Moon has joined them. “You can sleep now, I’m here.”
Jungkook smiles. “Oh—” he lets out, surprised, when he feels a hand on his head, but quickly
closes his eyes again once he realizes that it’s just Taehyung massaging his scalp, fingers threading
through his hair ever so slowly. It’s relaxing. Insanely so.
“I’ll be here.” Taehyung whispers. “You can sleep.” his fingers comb Jungkook’s hair, easing him
to sleep. He stays like that, his own lids weighing, but he focuses solely on putting his best friend
to sleep, which he slowly succeeds at: Jungkook’s breathing slows down, his consciousness
slipping away under Taehyung’s touch until he’s fast asleep, exhaustion taking over him.
Taehyung stops his hand, letting it run down just a little bit, his eyes looking at the older man
attentively. One of his fingers runs down the bridge of his nose, tracing it just as slowly as he traces
his eyebrows, only to move his finger even lower and down to his mouth.
Jungkook’s lips feel soft to the touch, at least under his fingertip as he traces around them. He
doesn’t really know why his fingers decide to do so, but he doesn’t try to stop them; doesn’t try to
put his hand down when it travels to the small scar on Jungkook’s cheek, either.
Taehyung wonders how he got it. Maybe he can ask some other time. It looks like the skin got cut,
he wonders if it happened during a fight or if it was caused by Jungkook’s father. Taehyung is sure
that Jungkook won’t want to tell him what happened if that’s the case, and he will accept and
respect it. He knows how hard it is to talk about his parents, still.
“Good night.” he whispers as he kisses the little scar, resting their heads together as he attempts to
go back to sleep as well, wanting nothing but to rest. The bed feels warmer now with Jungkook
right next to him, so maybe the night will feel even better.
│►
The moment that Jungkook’s alarm rings through the room, they’re both squirming and trying to
go back to sleep right away. Taehyung hides his head by burying his nose into the space between
Jungkook’s pectorals, curling more into the source of warmth.
“Turn it off…” he mumbles.

“I’m trying…” Jungkook mumbles back, his hand blindly dragging across his phone screen to find
the snooze option so that he can stay in for a little longer. Taehyung groans, tired, just hiding even
more in Jungkook’s chest. The latter’s arms wind around his middle, trying to cuddle him back to
sleep. That, until Jungkook’s eyes shoot open. “Wait a second—” he starts.
“It’s too early for whatever that you’re about to say.” Taehyung shuts him off right away, voice a
little muffled by Jungkook’s shirt, with absolutely no plan to move from his spot.
“No, no, seriously.” Jungkook insists. “I didn’t have a nightmare. We didn't wake up.” silence fills
up the room for a few seconds before Taehyung lifts his head, looking down at the older man.
“Are you sure?” Jungkook nods. “Not even a small little, like, short dream that you don’t
remember clearly? Something? Just… something? Was there nothing at all?”
“They’re never small, Tae. I didn’t— I didn’t drink and I was able to sleep without having horrible
nightmares. Tae— fuck, I was— I slept and— and I’m not hungover right now, even though I slept
like a normal person.” he rants, his smile coming through in the middle of it. Taehyung smiles too,
his hands patting Jungkook’s chest twice. “Tae, I didn’t have a bad dream tonight.”
“So, do we sleep together every night from now on?” Taehyung asks.
“I mean— if you uh, if you don’t mind…? It’s just a temporary solution… I know that it’s too
fucking much to ask from you, but you’re the only person or whatever that can get me to sleep like
this so I’d— Yeah, I’d like to ask you if we can sleep like this. At least for now…”
“Hyung, of course I don’t mind, it’s alright. I just want to help you, if me being here helps you
sleep, then of course I’ll be here.” Taehyung clarifies, a little more serious this time. “Your cuddles
are really comfortable, too, so I’m not passing those on.” he giggles.
Jungkook smiles. “Then come back here, we still have a few minutes before I actually have to get
up.” he encourages as he pulls him closer, Taehyung’s head back on his chest. They both stay
silent, his fingers going up and down Taehyung’s arm delicately.
They remain quiet, happy in each other’s presence; basking in the warmth.
“Thank you.” Jungkook whispers after a while. Taehyung’s eyebrows furrow in confusion. “Thank
you, Tae. Really.” he whispers again, pulling him even closer. “I’m really fucking thankful.”
“Why? What are you thanking me for?”
“Just… for everything, I guess. This is the highest point of my life so far, and I’m really not even
joking. I have a job that I don’t hate, I’m more open with my friends and it brings us closer… I
finally looked for help to deal with my traumas, and I have you and—” he stops as something
jumps to the bed, little Simba already laying down on top of Moon. “—and I have a cat, when did
that happen—?” Jungkook chuckles. “I’m on the path to be able to say that I’m happy, and I can’t
wait for that to happen. I can’t wait for the day that I get to say that I’m happy for the first time in
my fucking life, and that’s thanks to you, and the guys, and— I’m just thankful.”
“I’m glad that you feel this way, it makes me so happy knowing that you are too.” Taehyung
considers lifting himself up to press a kiss to Jungkook’s cheek, but quickly ends up deciding
against it, just kissing his chest instead. It’s closer and he doesn’t have to move.
“Still, thank you.”
“And thank you, you did just as much for me, maybe even more. I don’t accept you not giving
yourself the due credits. You’ve helped me a lot, and continue doing so.” Taehyung sighs. “Now
that we’re in such serious topics, what do you want for your birthday?” he asks.
Jungkook laughs, his chest vibrating. “What’s the correlation? But, to answer, I don’t want
anything. That was so random, I didn’t see that coming… I don’t want anything, really.”
“Oh, shut up, you must want something. A new gadget? Maybe something for— I don’t know,
maybe, hm, clothes? Maybe a trip? You said you’ve never left S—”
“Pause, what the hell? You’re not giving me a trip as a birthday present, are you crazy? That’s not
even in question.” he pulls away, though Taehyung immediately follows. He’s warm. “Give me a
pen or something, I’ll be content with that, that’s enough for me.”
“A pen?” Taehyung laughs. “Oh, c‘mon, I like buying gifts, I can’t give you a pen.”
“You can, though.” Jungkook shrugs. “If you spend more than… hm, five bucks, then I don’t want
it. Seriously.” he states, his hand patting Taehyung’s lower back to make sure that he hears.
“Alright, I’ll come up with something.”
“Tae. Promise me. Nothing expensive.” Jungkook gives him a look — he can feel it, so he looks up
at him too, still lying on his chest. “You’ve already spent a lot of money on me, and you
continuously do a lot for me. I don’t want anything at all, but if you insist, then I’ll take something
cheap. Promise me that you won’t be wasting a shit-ton of money on a gift.”
Taehyung puckers his lips.
“Tae.” Jungkook raises an eyebrow.
“Fine, okay. Promise.”
│►
Jungkook hums a song to himself, pushing the door to the café open. Eunjae looks up from the
table that she’s busy cleaning, a good morning falling from her lips. “Good morning.” Jungkook
replies with a smile on his face. Eunjae raises an eyebrow, noticing the huge difference between his
current behavior and the one on the day before. She smirks.
“Who sucked your dick this early in the morning?” Jungkook’s smile falls, giving room to a
confused expression. “Yesterday you came in looking like you wanted the Grim Reaper to touch
your forehead, and now you come here smiling, that’s weird, if you ask me.”
“Can’t a man be in a good mood for once?” he chuckles. Finding a temporary solution for his
nightmares is indeed enough of a reason to keep a smile on his face. Eases his anxiety a little.
“Your smile is really cute.” Eunji compliments. Jungkook just gives her another smile, a bigger
one this time, before heading towards the break room. He only has to put the apron on, so he finds
himself going back to his coworker rather quickly.
She puckers her lips the moment that he’s back in sight.
“Are you happy because of the pretty girl from yesterday?” Eunjae asks.
“No… I’m happy because of Tae.” he decides to answer and avoid more questions, though he
should’ve guessed that she would get curious either way. He should’ve seen it coming. He blames
it on the early hour; his brain isn’t fully functioning yet. Especially after resting for hours.
“Who the fuck is Tae?” Eunjae immediately throws back. Jungkook sighs. Of course.
“Angel.”
“Oh! The angel! Yes, yes, I’m following.” she nods. “I thought that it had been the hot girl. She
was really pretty… I’d let her peg me. No hesitation at all.” Jungkook tilts his head, confused.
“Peg you? What’s that?” he asks with a chuckle. He doesn’t quite get it. He doesn’t deal with
young people, her expressions just fly past him more of the time, and he feels old next to her.
“You really are ancient.” Eunjae sighs, forging annoyance. “You know, some bisexual dudes, even
straight too, I think, enjoy… you know.” she explains it with her hands, Jungkook blinking at the
dirty gestures. “Ok, basically when you have a girl fucking some dude with a fake—”
“Ok, I get it, I get it.” Jungkook lifts a hand to get her to shut up. “I’m visualizing it, I get it.”
“So yeah, I’d let her peg me.” his coworker places two coffees on the counter, getting a pack of
sugar for herself and just handing the other one to Jungkook. He accepts it with a quiet ‘thank you’
and another polite smile. “Would you?” Jungkook turns to her, puzzled.
“Would I what?” Eunjae rolls her eyes. “Oh— Peg me? No—? That’s weird, I wouldn’t.” he’s
quick to deny, taking a sip from the bitter liquid. “I wouldn’t let her do that, no, I don’t think.”
“Aren’t you bisexual? I’d swear that you said it.” he nods, confirming it. “Have you never—”
“Nope.” Jungkook shrugs. “I’m always the giver, not the receiver.”
“Oh.” she hisses. “You’re probably missing out. I heard that it’s a lot better to be on the receiving
end when you’re a dude… because of that thing— prostate, or whatever the name is.” Jungkook
pinches the bridge of his nose, still holding the coffee mug in his other hand.
“Why are we talking about this? You’re a kid, I feel weird talking about sex with a kid.”
“I am not a kid!” Eunjae immediately defends herself, putting the empty mug down. “I should
make you wash all dishes today just for that.”
“Gladly.” he shrugs. His coworker opens her mouth to retaliate, but they both stop as the door
opens, the cold breeze coming in alongside a new customer. It’s still early in the morning, no one
has entered the coffee shop yet. Jungkook smiles at the familiar face.
“I’ll take it.” Eunjae says, but he puts an arm in front of her to keep her in place, stepping in.
“Stop, he’s mine.” he informs, already on his way to get to Taehyung’s table. The blonde man
looks up at him with a smile. “Good morning, sir, how can I be of help?” Jungkook asks, serious.
Taehyung giggles at the formalities. “Just a coffee, please.” the waiter nods. “And I came here to
give you your house keys, you left them on the couch, you’d be locked outside.” he places them on
the table. “I didn’t want you to sit by the door until I got out of work.”
“Oh, thanks.” Jungkook takes them, a little surprised, he never forgets his keys. “Just a coffee?”
“Yeah, that should be all. Thank you.” Jungkook smiles just one last time before turning around to
go back. Eunjae rests against the counter, enjoying the ambient music while waiting for him to be
close enough so that she can speak what’s on her mind.
“He’s really pretty. Coming from someone who really fucking hates men, he’s gorgeous.”
“He is, yes.” Eunjae looks at him right away. “What—?”
“Hey, Taehyung.” she calls into the empty café, the only customer so far eyeing her with a puzzled
expression. “Jungkook over here said that you’re pretty, I heard it with my own ears.”
“I didn’t— oh my God.” Jungkook looks between them. “I mean— I did say that.”
Taehyung giggles. “Thank you, hyung.” he looks back down at his notes, cheeks a little red.
“He’s blushing…” Eunjae whispers. “He’s totally blushing.”
“And I’m going to strangle you.” Jungkook whispers back. “Don’t embarrass me, dude.”
“I am into choking…” she shows her tongue. “Not into your species, though, so I’ll pass.”
“You age me.”
│►
“That old one.” Eunjae points. “Would you… hm, suck his toes for ten thousand bucks?” she asks,
laughing at the disgusted expression that immediately takes over Jungkook’s face once he analyzes
the old man in question. It’s a nice man, sure, but Jungkook can’t help but to gag a little.
“Absolutely not.” he takes a moment to picture it and the image does make him laugh; a bubbly
laugh. Eunjae smiles at that, being able to make his moody coworker laugh makes her feel content,
even if it’s just due to the stupidest game ever that they’re playing out of boredom.
It’s a quiet morning, not many customers entering and the ones there have already been served.
“But dude, we’re talking about ten thousand … you could do so much with that money.” she raises
an eyebrow. “Doesn’t it make you take a step back and reconsider?”
“No!” he shakes his head. “I’d never.”
“What about a kiss?” Jungkook goes silent, eyeing the old man that is still carefully stirring his
glass of warm milk, making a low sound of contemplation.
“Would it involve tongues?” Eunjae stops cleaning the plate in her hand, thinking about it for a
second. Jungkook just waits, watching her.
“Yes, tongues, spit and all.” Jungkook hums.
“Then no.” he denies. “Would you?” she snorts.
“Bring me my money.” Eunjae says enthusiastically. Jungkook forces a gagging sound again, not
even sure why he’s playing such a stupid game to begin with. He sure is enjoying his new job way
more than the gas station. “I would even suck his toes.” she adds.
“I’ve done gross things for money, but that’s just way too much.” Eunjae tilts her head.
“What do you mean?” Jungkook gapes, realizing what he just said. No, no. How could he let that
slip out so easily?! “Hey, you can’t ignore me after dropping that kind of bomb on me.”
“I can.”
“No, you can’t.” she denies. “Were you like, a stripper? You do look like you’re hiding a six-pack
under that shirt, not that I’ve been checking you out or anything.” she pokes his stomach; smirks.
“Weren’t you against men or whatever?” he asks with an eyebrow raised.
“Yes, number one men hater. I still check dudes out, anyway.” she shrugs. “So, was that it?”
“No. I wasn’t a male stripper, do I look like I could do that?” he rolls his eyes when Eunjae
actually takes the time to look at him from head to toe, taking it all in to be able to come to a
conclusion.
“You do, yes. How does a stripper even look like? Could I be a stripper?” she poses, one hand on
her hips. Jungkook takes a quick glance, doesn’t want to be disrespectful.
“You look fourteen, so no.” he jokes, the wet rag being thrown at him the next second. Thank God
for his fast reflexes. “I’m joking, damn, no need to get violent. You’re at least fifteen.”
“You’re mean.” Eunjae sighs. “I hope that the hot girl is terrible at giving head.”
“She was actually ok—” he stops, realizing his mistake. “Mind your own business, don’t ask.”
“Give me the details, right now. How do you know how she is like? I want to know.” she holds his
forearm, keeping him from walking away. “How do you know how her head game is?”
“I’m not telling.”
“I bet you told the angel.” Jungkook rolls his eyes.
“He’s my best friend and the person that I trust the most in the world so yeah, of course he knows
what happened.” Eunjae makes a loud awing sound, placing a hand over her heart. “I’m done with
you, seriously, so done.”
“You two are cute, what do you want me to do?” she shrugs.
“Just shut up, I’d enjoy that, I think.” Jungkook jokes. Kind of.
“Yeah, no. Tell me more about the angel.” she pushes.
“Taehyung. His name is Taehyung.” Jungkook clarifies, folding the rags just to have something to
do; he can’t sit down and he doesn’t like just standing there, so anything is better than.
“That’s not what your phone would tell me. I’ll call him angel.” Jungkook sighs with a roll of the
eyes. He really is getting old. “Tell me everything, you know how curious I am…”
“Oh, trust me, I know.” Eunjae giggles, poking his ribs three times. “Fine, fine, fine, stop.”
│►
Taehyung hums as he lowers the heat on the stove, the food slowly cooking, when a little squeal
sounds behind him. He turns around, confused. Jungkook holds his phone with one hand, the other
nervously tapping on the table. He looks surprised, nervous, and a bit excited.
“Should I worry?” Jungkook’s eyes immediately meet his. “Is everything ok, hyung?” Taehyung
chuckles, walking closer to him as he wipes his hands on a rag.
“Yes, yes.” Jungkook nods, motioning for Taehyung to get even closer. “I think that I did
something…” he holds his phone out. Taehyung hums before grabbing it to be able to read. It’s a
conversation, he can see that the contact is saved simply as ‘Yun’, which he’s thankful for so that
he can easily understand who Jungkook’s texting.
He reads over it without paying much attention to the details, not wanting to be too nosy. He reads
enough to comprehend that they’re planning a date for just two days in the future. “Oh, I didn’t
expect this.” Taehyung sits down in the first spot available, that being Jungkook’s right thigh, to be
able to read more clearly.
Jungkook’s arm goes automatically around his waist, resting there as Taehyung reads over the texts
with big, curious eyes. Then, he just waits for the younger to say something.
“You have a date.” Taehyung states. “In two days.”
“I’m aware.” he says, sounding nothing but nervous. “I’m not that confident about it, but— I
should just go for it, right?” Taehyung locks the phone, putting it down on the table to turn just
slightly on Jungkook’s thigh so that he can face him. “Should I give up already? I don’t even know
where to take her… This was a bad idea; I’m just going to fucking give u—”
“Nope, you’re not giving up on anything. As I said, if you two click, then the place is not
important. Trust me.” Taehyung smiles, his hand going up to Jungkook’s hair to run his fingers
through it so that it’s pulled back, but not tugging.
Jungkook chuckles. “You really like my hair, don’t you?” he asks, amused.
“I do, it’s long.” Taehyung nods. “And wavy. It’s cute, but also attractive…? Not that it matters to
answer your question, but I want to compliment you and make sure that you won’t cut it.”
“I won’t cut it, I promise.” Jungkook pouts, looking up at the blonde man who continues to run his
fingers through the black locks. He does laugh when Taehyung uses both hands, pulling his whole
head back alongside his hair. “Stop that.”
“Sorry.” Jungkook pats his waist, smiling even more. “About the date, you’re going to be amazing
and you’ll do great. You’re awesome, hyung, and it’s just so nice to talk to you and yeah, it will be
fine. If she doesn’t want to go on a second date then it’s totally her loss, not yours.”
“Ok… thank you, I’ll try to think like that.” he nods, closing his eyes for a moment; it’s only a few
seconds, but it’s enough for Taehyung’s gaze to fall to his cheek instead, the scar coming to sight
again. He runs a finger through it, mustering the courage to ask what he wants to.
Jungkook’s eyes open again, as if aware. “How did you get this?” Taehyung whispers, his finger
going over the small scar. Jungkook stays silent, looking at Taehyung’s curious eyes, unsure of
what to say. He doesn’t know if he wants to share it. “Was it a bad reason…?”
“You know what they say about ignoring people who are messing with you?” he starts by asking.
Taehyung tilts his head. “That it makes it worse?”
“Yeah, they get madder at you for that.” Jungkook chuckles humorlessly, his fingers playing with
the hem of Taehyung’s shirt. “It was the first day of my second week in prison, I believe. I avoided
everyone and just— I wanted to behave, I didn’t want to get more time. My cellmate thought that it
was cool to mess with me because I was new and calm...” he gulps.
“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” Taehyung reassures, lifting Jungkook’s head
by touching his chin. “You really don’t. I just noticed your scar last night and I was left wondering
how you got it, but you don’t have to go there if it makes you uncomfortable.”
“No, it’s ok.” he shakes his head. “I ignored him for a week and then he just got his friends to
collectively beat the shit out of me. I broke two ribs and yeah, got that scar.” Taehyung’s lips tug
down in a frown. “Don’t do that, don’t frown, you look sad, I don’t like it. It’s ok.”
“It’s not ok. At all, hyung. You don’t deserve a single bad thing that happened to you, it makes me
— God, Jungkook.” Taehyung looks up, eyes watering. Jungkook immediately involves him with
his other arm, pulling him in for a hug that only makes his nose burry in Taehyung’s chest due to
their position. “I’m sorry that I asked, those memories but be tough. I’m sorry.”
“I answered because I wanted to, otherwise I wouldn’t. You didn’t force me.” Jungkook reassures.
“It’s all over with now, it was so many years ago. It’s alright. I promise. I don’t care for this,
these… these memories from prison aren’t what’s wrong with me.”
“How can I make this any better?” Taehyung pulls back. Jungkook shrugs. “A kiss?” he asks.
“Yes, definitely.” he laughs quietly as Taehyung kisses his forehead twice before also kissing his
scar, pulling away with a bright smile. “That’s so much better, thank you.”
“You’re an idiot.” Taehyung laughs too, playing with his hair again.
Jungkook hums, hands respectfully resting on Taehyung’s thighs. “You adore me, though.”
The younger puckers his lips. “Maybe.”
“Don’t say ‘maybe’, you know that I cry easily.”
“I do adore you quite a lot, hyung.”
Jungkook smiles. “Good. I feel the same.”
Taehyung mirrors his grin. “I know.”
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 39 │►
Chapter Notes
Taehyung groans as his sleep is interrupted earlier than it was supposed to, Jungkook’s alarm
being set almost an entire hour before his, so he immediately covers his ears, turning around to get
away from the sound. Jungkook hits the snooze button right away.
“Sorry…” he mumbles, voice groggy from sleep, hands already rubbing at his eyes to try to wake
up before the alarm rings again. His lids struggle to stay open, however, and he just wants to sleep
for at least another hour before he considers getting up to go to work.
“Why are you apologizing?” Taehyung mumbles into his pillow, his back facing Jungkook.
The latter turns to him, only eyeing him for a second. “I’m waking you up so early.” he whispers
with a sigh. “That wouldn’t happen if I could just— sleep on my own.” Jungkook looks down at
his lap, posture a little defeated. “I’m sorry for waking you up.”
“The fact that you didn’t drink yesterday and still slept peacefully is worth all the lost hours that I
may have from waking up to your alarm.” Taehyung says without even facing him, his eyes still
closed. “You’re far more important than sleep…” he mumbles.
“What would I ever do without you…” Jungkook whispers, dragging himself closer to throw an
arm around Taehyung’s body. It’s the first time that they cuddle in such a position and Jungkook
doesn’t even do it that consciously, but he isn’t so sure if Taehyung’s comfortable with it.
The blonde doesn’t really react, though. If anything, only pushes back into his body further.
“Do you have to get up?” Taehyung whispers too, eyes closing shut at the feeling of Jungkook’s
breath hitting the back of his neck. It’s calming and warm, and his arms are even warmer.
“In about eight minutes, yeah.” Jungkook huffs, arm unconsciously pulling Taehyung even closer
to his chest. Taehyung just hums, letting the silence surround them as they try to drift to sleep for
some minutes longer before the alarm rings again and awakens them; Jungkook’s fingers dance in
slow circles on Taehyung’s stomach over his pajama shirt.
Then, the older man chuckles. “What’s wrong?” Taehyung asks, puzzled.
“I really— I really am able to sleep now.” Taehyung smiles, placing his hand over Jungkook’s. “I
know that it’s just a temporary solution and that I won’t be able to rely on sleeping with you in the
long run, but— but I’m so happy right now. I feel… so rested, I feel more energetic…”
“I’m so happy to be able to help you, your happiness means the world to me.” the blonde whispers,
Jungkook’s fingers intertwining with his own without them even realizing. “Are you nervous about
your date?” Jungkook’s breath hitches. “Did you— Did you forget that it’s today?”
“No.” there’s a pregnant pause. “Maybe.” Taehyung giggles, his figure shaking in Jungkook’s
arms. “I forget dates easily, even my birthday, it’s no surprised that I forgot this…” he excuses.
Oh. Oh, God. Birthday.
“I have to pee.” Taehyung tries to drag himself away, only to be pulled back down, Jungkook’s
nose burying itself on the crook of his neck. “Hey! Let go!” he giggles, still trying to escape.
“No, you’re warm.” Jungkook complains, whining when Taehyung is able to sit up and rush away
from him. He reaches for the younger man, his arms falling on the mattress helplessly, a pout on
his lips as his head rests back on the pillow. “Mean. I thought you liked me cuddles…” he teases.
“And I do, but I really need to pee. I’ll be right back.” he lies, watching as Jungkook nods, eyes
closing shut yet again. Taehyung takes his phone, already searching for Seokjin’s number. It rings
as he locks the door, something that they never really do. There could be an emergency.
Rings once, twice. “What happened?! Why are you calling?! Is everything ok?!” Seokjin almost
screams from the other side as soon as he picks up. It’s too early for a call. “Taeh—”
“Hey, hey, everything is fine, I just wanted to talk about Jungkook’s birthday.” Seokjin sighs in
relief. “I was thinking about inviting you and Yoongi, Jimin and Hobi for dinner. Perhaps even get
his former coworker, Yugyeom to come—? They were friends… kind of, at least.”
“Oh! That would be so much fun!” Taehyung smiles. “I’ll get the cake, chocolate flavored, with
twenty-eight candles. Leave it to me.” he raises his eyebrows, surprised.
“Aren’t those way too many candles? Why not just two with the numbers?”
“I want him to struggle to put them out.” Seokjin laughs. “Last year he didn’t even let us inside his
apartment to celebrate his birthday, so good luck with getting him to agree to all of that.”
“So… how about we… don’t tell him?” there’s a beat of silence and Taehyung rushes to speak
again. “As in, a surprise. Not— I don’t know, not with the intention of keeping him in the dark
about this, I just want to make sure that he won’t ask me not to prepare anything—”
“I get it, don’t worry.” the elder reassures. “I’ll talk to Yoongi, I think that he still has Yugyeom’s
number so we will call him as well. You call your friends. And thank you so much, Taehyung.”
“Why? Why are you thanking me?” he sits down on top of the laundry basket, carefully not to fall
in. “It’s just a little birthday dinner, I’m not doing much, I don’t deserve a thank you for this.”
“I’m not necessarily thanking you for the birthday party, it’s for everything that you’ve been doing
for him, you deserve a thank you.” Taehyung looks down. “The type of relationship that you two
have, is— is rare, Taehyung. Your bond, everything. The way that you two care for each other is
so beautiful, I have to thank you for giving him something like this. He’s happier now.”
“I’m the one that must thank him, seriously, I won’t take credits.” Taehyung chuckles, a little shy.
He barely knows Seokjin. “He’s my best friend, I just want to be there for him as much as he’s
here for m—” Taehyung stops at the sound of the door handle twisting, followed by a groan.
“I have to pee—! How are you still peeing?” Jungkook complains, knocking on the door
continuously with the sole purpose of being annoying. “Tae…!”
“Just a second!” he says. “I have to go, I’ll call you later.” he doesn’t give Seokjin any time to
answer, flushing the unused toilet before he puts the phone in his pocket. Jungkook’s already
opening his pajama pants when Taehyung opens the door. “I got distracted on my phone, sorry.”
“That’s ok, my bladder just started screaming at me.” Jungkook chuckles. “Also, don’t lock the
doors like that, what if you fell and hit your head? How would I go in?” he asks with a pout.
“I know, I know, I never lock them.” he doesn’t feel like he has to, he knows that Jungkook would
never open a door without knocking and making sure that it’s safe. “I was just used to always make
sure that they were locked so… old habits die hard.”
“Oh.” Jungkook frowns, getting the point. “It’s alright, I just want you safe.”
“I know, hyung.” Taehyung runs a hand through his dark hair. “Thank you, you’re so caring.”
“No more than you.” they smile. “Now, please step aside before I actually piss my pants.”
“Oh— Yeah, go on.” the younger quickly lets him in, giggling to himself as he closes the door.
│►
“What about this one?” Jungkook holds a black tee-shirt over his torso, Taehyung eyeing him
carefully as he sits cross-legged on the bed, a bowl of cereal in hands. “Hm? What do you think?”
“It’s just too basic.” Taehyung tilts his head when the other switches it to another plain black tee-
shirt. “Isn’t that— Is that a different one? They look exactly the same.” Jungkook frowns.
“No, they do not. This one has longer sleeves. They reach my elbow.” he explains as if it was all
too obvious. “I’m not good at this, I can’t dress for dates. Can’t I go in sweats? I heard that girls
find grey sweatpants attractive… if you know what I m—”
“You’re not going on a date in sweatpants!” Taehyung immediately says, putting his bowl down on
the nightstand to stand up. “Give me those, just stand there.” Jungkook does exactly as he’s told,
Taehyung taking the shirts and placing them on the bed right where he was sitting.
“I don’t want to exaggerate, alright? Keep it very myself.” Jungkook requests, standing in nothing
but underwear and black socks. Taehyung hums, going through his side of the wardrobe.
“Is your leather jacket still in the drier? I don’t recall folding it…” Taehyung asks without looking
back, too focused on finding something appropriate for a date. Jungkook owns too many hoodies
and sweatpants and he’d never let him go like that.
“I folded everything yesterday, it’s on the coat hanger.” that’s enough for the blonde to get black
jeans and a white tee-shirt from the wardrobe, holding both of them against Jungkook’s body to
check the fit. “How is a plain white shirt better than a black one? Aren’t they the same?”
“No, white enhances your chest.” Taehyung explains, patting it. “Throw a pair of black boots on
and your leather jacket and you should be fine.” he nods to himself. “Yes, exactly. That’s it.”
“Ok, thank you so much.” Taehyung sits back on the bed, already munching on a new spoonful of
cereal. He watches as his best friend has to jump a few times to get his jeans past his thighs, which
makes him giggle. Jungkook sends him the most un-threatening glare ever seen.
“Are you nervous?” Taehyung asks.
“About the date?” he nods. “Well… I mean, a bit, yeah. I don’t know her, even if I’ve slept with
her, I don’t really know her. These types of dates aren’t the same thing as two friends realizing shit
and going on a date, I’m going with a total stranger and yeah— that makes me nervous.”
“I understand.” Taehyung shrugs. “However, you’re a really nice guy, so if it doesn’t go well, it’s
not your fault. Be confident, alright? Everyone loves you, and she won’t be any different.”
“Including you?” Jungkook teases, making Taehyung throw his head back in a bubbly laugh.
“Sure.” he says. “You look good, you can eat your breakfast now without stressing.” the blonde
indicates, covering his mouth with the back of his hand as he’s still munching on his cereal.
“I’m not hungry, just give me a spoon, will you?” Jungkook pouts, pointing towards the bowl and
Taehyung feeds him right away. “I’ll eat something at the café if I feel hungry later.”
“Okay, hyung.” Taehyung smiles. “Just don’t stress about the date, it will be fine. Call me or text
me if you need rescue, I’ll run to you and get you out of there as quickly as I can, promise.”
“About that, are you sure that I can take your car? You’ll have to take the bus to work and I know
that it’s an inconvenience…” Jungkook checks for the umpteenth time just since they woke up.
“It’s alright, I don’t mind, I swear.” Taehyung reassures. “Just take it, hyung, I don’t mind taking
the bus today. It’s more practical that you have the car with you, she may ask for a ride home and
all… it’ll be convenient. You know, may even get you a goodbye kiss.” he giggles.
“Hm… Yeah, I can see that.” Jungkook nods. “Are you really sure, though?”
“Yes.”
“Sure, sure?”
“Sure, sure.” Taehyung repeats with a chuckle. “You’ll be late to work if you don’t start getting
dressed, it’s already—” Jungkook gasps, looking at the clock on the wall.
“Oh, shit—”
│►
“Why are you so quiet?” Hoseok asks, taking a sip from his wine glass. “Are you okay?”
Taehyung’s eyes snap back to him. “I was just thinking of what to give to Jungkook as his birthday
present. I’ve been burning my brain cells off and can’t come up with anything.” Taehyung huffs as
he rubs his eyes. “I mean— I know one of the things that I’ll be gifting him, but it still doesn’t feel
enough, I don’t know, I want to give him something special... I just don’t know what.”
Hoseok hums in acknowledgment. “Is there anything that he really wants or needs?”
“I don’t know.” he sighs. “I only know his major unfulfilled dreams, like studying and wor—”
“Well.” Hoseok interrupts. “How much are you willing to spend?” Taehyung tilts his head,
motioning him to go on. “Pay his tuition. Help him fulfill the dream to study.” the blonde gapes.
“Jungkook would absolutely hate me if I spent so much with him, he probably wouldn’t even
accept it.” Taehyung says, though his shoulders sag once the idea sinks in. “Gosh, making his
biggest dream come true? That sounds beyond incredible and I’d love to do that for him, but he
wouldn’t take that much money, I know him, I know that he wouldn’t accept it.”
“I can try to get an agreement… I think that, since I work at the office, I may be able to get my
connections working and you’d only have to pay for, I don’t know, half? Sixty percent? Would that
be ok?” he offers. “I doubt that I’d be able to get less than fifty, at most.”
“I would pay for all of it without thinking twice, Hobi. That’s not the point… Jungkook is a rare
species, he doesn’t just accept these things.” Taehyung sighs. “He wouldn’t take it.” as amazing as
the idea sounds, he knows his best friend well enough to know how much Jungkook hates when
anything is done for him. He’d never accept something as big as this.
“You can always just say that it’s free, he doesn’t really have to know about that.” Hoseok points at
him with the chopsticks. “It’s a gift, after all, and you’re not supposed to reveal the costs.”
“Are you suggesting that I lie to him? We don’t keep things from each other.” Taehyung furrows
his brows. He doesn’t want to just hide the truth from Jungkook, that shouldn’t be an option.
“You two over-communicate… it’s just a small detail that he wouldn’t know.” he shrugs. “Think
of it as a way to make his future brighter. Like, alright, you’ll be telling a little white lie, but it’s for
a good reason and I’m sure that hyung wouldn’t be angry at you for it.”
“Hobi… I don’t even know how he would react. Studying is his biggest dream and he’s a hundred
percent sure that he will never be able to do it. If I— Gosh, he’d be so, so happy.” Taehyung
smiles, picturing it. “Do you think that you can get that agreement? I’ll pay for half or sixty
percent or whatever, I’ll pay the full thing, as long as Jungkook thinks that I’m not paying for any
of it.”
“I’ll have to confirm everything first, but I’m pretty positive that I can make it happen.” Hoseok
nods. “What’s the major?”
“Architecture.”
“Oh, really?”
“It’s both architecture and engineering, to be honest. I’ll have to smoothly ask him, first.”
“I don’t know if there are any joint classes, sometimes they do mix some shit up. It doesn’t happen
every year, though, so I’ll see what I can do.” Hoseok laughs at the way that Taehyung’s eyes
immediately sparkle. “I’ll call you as soon as I get an answer.”
“Please do.” Taehyung nods enthusiastically. “This is going to be the best birthday gift ever.”
“Yeah, now I’m nervous about what to give him, everything else is going to look like shit.”
“Oh, it’s Jungkook.” Taehyung shrugs. “He’ll be thankful for whatever it is that you gift him
with.” Hoseok smiles, a little mischievous. The blonde squints, suspicious. “What is it?”
“Nothing, it’s just entertaining how you two talk about and with each other.” he smiles even
harder. “It’s almost like Jimin and I— just a lot clingier and love-sick.”
“No, no, that doesn’t sound true, we just care a lot for each other, he’s my best friend.” Taehyung
repeats those same words for the umpteenth time.
Hoseok hums, not convinced. “Sure.”
│►
Jungkook flinches as the door to the lockers is pushed open, Eunjae clapping her hands to herself
once she sees her forgotten phone. Jungkook blinks, still holding the shirt that he was about to put
on. “Some privacy, perhaps?” he says, staring at the young woman that makes no move to leave,
too focused on her texts.
“You know that I don’t care for males, I’m not look— damn, dude, I was right after all.” Eunjae
whistles once her eyes lift up from the phone, falling on Jungkook’s abdomen instead. “I knew that
you’d have abs, I could tell. Am I a genius for this? Maybe.”
Jungkook puts his shirt on with a roll of the eyes. “For someone who hates men, you check me out
too much.” he points, trying not to smile at how offended she looks.
“Moving on from that horrid and false accusation… Will you tell me why the hot girl is outside? It
looks like she’s waiting.” Eunjae asks as she sits on a stool. “What is she waiting for, hm?”
“For me.” Jungkook smiles. “We’re going on a date.” he explains as he pulls the clean jeans over
his legs, not even caring that Eunjae is still right there. Maybe Taehyung is right, he does lack a bit
of shame, but he doesn’t see it as a bad thing.
“You what? You scored a date with a ‘hey’?!” she gapes. “How?!”
Jungkook laughs. “What can I say, I’m very charming.” Eunjae rolls her eyes, mumbling a few
words under her breath; something about it being unfair. “To be honest with you, I don’t know
how it worked out, Tae helped me a bit but… It was mostly my charm.” he teases.
“The angel?”
“He has a name.”
“Yes, he does.” Eunjae nods. “Angel.” Jungkook just tsks. “He helped you to go on a date? Like…
is he ok with this?” she asks, trying not to sound way too obvious.
“Why wouldn’t he be?” Jungkook frowns, confused. “He supports me through everything.”
“Right, right.” she nods again. “As a best friend should, right?” she still presses, though it doesn’t
provide her with the reaction that she wasn’t looking forward to.
“You’re even weirder sometimes.” it’s all that Jungkook says before fixing his leather jacket and
storing everything in his pockets. “I have to go. I’ll see you tomorrow, Jae.”
“Yeah, have a good date, dude.” she pats his shoulder as he walks past.
Yun stands right outside the café as Jungkook was expecting her too, her clothes clearly carefully
picked and her makeup looks like it took a long time and effort to perfect. Jungkook smiles at her,
pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Hey.” he greets, polite.
“Hey, Kookie.” Yun smiles, taking in his appearance.
“You look amazing.” Jungkook compliments, eyeing the pretty dress that accentuates her natural
curves, without staring for too long. He doesn’t want to make her uncomfortable.
“I was about to say the same, you look so hot.” they both chuckle at her bold comment, Jungkook
holding his hand out for her to take. Their fingers don’t intertwine on their own, they don’t
intertwine at all, really, but it’s good enough. Her palm is warm against his own.
“Shall we get going? We still have a few stops to make beforehand.” Yun raises an eyebrow,
giving him a questioning look. “For food.” he clarifies.
“Oh, that sounds amazing. Yep, let’s get going.”
│►
“...then I really had to do it.” Yun finishes her story, both of them giggling at it, stomach hurting
due to how much they’ve already laughed. “Traumatic, I’m telling you.” she goes on, taking a bite
from the pizza slice. “It’s your turn to tell a story now.” she encourages.
“I don’t really have funny stories like that.” Jungkook shrugs, looking down at his cup. “I’d rather
you ask me something directly, I’m bad at just coming up with shit.”
“I see, I see.” Yun nods. “Tell me about your pets, I only know about the dog and I don’t
remember her name…” she smiles, turning more to the side to face him, who ends up doing the
same.
“It’s Moon. Her name, I mean.” he explains. “I only had her, but then Tae brought home a small
cat and yeah, I’ve always hated cats but she grew on me with time… Her name’s Simba because
she has yellow fur and Tae chose that name.” Jungkook’s lips stretch with a smile.
“Tae?” she tilts her head. “Oh, is it like, a roommate of yours?”
“I mean… kind of?” Jungkook squints. “I live with my best friend, he’s not just a roommate. He
moved into my apartment after some shit went down in his personal life, and we’ve been living
together for around four months now, something close to it.”
“That’s nice.” Yun nods. “Tell me more, though, I want to know more about you.” Jungkook
blinks. “Tell me about… hm, your friends, maybe?”
“I have two best friends, Seokjin and Yoongi, they’re incredible. I’m not that social, so I only had
them for a long while… Jae and Yugyeom are something close to being my friends, but we’re more
friendly than anything. I don’t know how deep of a thing it actually is.”
“Isn’t Jae the girl from the coffee shop? I think that I read that on her shirt, the name tag.” Yun
asks as she steals a grape from Jungkook’s hand, giggling.
“Yes, that’s her.” he nods, leaning closer to place another grape between her lips; said lips
teasingly wrapping around his fingers to accept it. Jungkook just chuckles. “Jimin and Hoseok are
nice too, I met them through Tae.” she nods in acknowledgment, still paying attention. “Then Tae.”
Jungkook smiles without even realizing it. Taehyung is comforting.
“The roommate.” Yun points, keeping up.
“Yeah. He’s way beyond just being my best friend, it’s way deeper than that.” the young woman
frowns a little, but plays it off well. “He’s the most important person in my life right now.” he goes
on, playing with his fingers. “I’ve never trusted anyone as much as I trust him… he’s truly just a
ray of sunshine, you know?” he doesn’t notice her shoulders falling, but they do.
It’s not that noticeable, so he misses it.
“You’ve mentioned him a lot, I can imagine how close you two are.” she still smiles, despite being
a little uncomfortable with the shine in his eyes at the mention. “Can’t wait to meet him…!”
Jungkook smiles, feeding her a new grape. “You’ll love him.”
“I’m sure I will…”
│►
Jungkook knew that it would come eventually, either a direct question or something related to it, he
just thought that it would take way longer for them to get there. He thought that he would be able
to come up with something to say when the topic got brought up, but he wasn’t prepared at all
when Yun turned to him, munching on a grape, and asked it with such calm.
“What about your family?” is what she asks and his fingers immediately stop playing with his
shoelaces, eyes opening up wider. “Your reaction was very weird.” she points out, puzzled. “Are
you guy not close? Is that it?”
“I’d— I’d rather not talk about it.” he whispers, looking at her with pleading eyes before facing
ahead again. Just the mention of his family is enough to bring his mood down, and he doesn’t want
to let it ruin their date; it was going so well so far.
“Oh, but why…?” she presses, not even noticing the way that Jungkook slightly curls into himself,
wanting to get away from the conversation. “It’s something that I’m very interested in, I’ve always
loved to meet my friend’s parents and we’re working on possibly being more than that, so of
course I want to know about yours too. Do you have any brothers? That’d be cute.”
“Yun.” he says, tone dropping a little, but not enough to sound warningly. “Don’t.”
“Are they like… dead?” she whispers, a little unsure. She doesn’t miss the way that Jungkook’s
breath hitches and his head turns away to hide what she guesses is a pained expression. “Oh. I’m so
sorry.”
“It’s ok.” Jungkook tries, pairing it up with a forced smile.
“No, it’s not, me and my big mouth…” she puts her food down, dragging herself closer. “I’m sorry,
Jungkook. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I… I had a poor past relationship where he didn’t care about
me at all, wasn’t interested in anything about me, so after that I just— All of my dates ended up
ruined because I ask too much, I’m too clingy, I just try too hard. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to
overstep.” Jungkook closes his eyes as her arms wind around him, head resting on his chest. “Fuck,
I ruined it… I’m so sorry, Jungkook.”
“You didn’t.” he reassures, a hand going to rest on her lower back. “You didn’t ruin anything, you
didn’t know.” Yun pulls away, only to join their lips. Jungkook’s eyes widen, taking a second to
process it before he kisses back, unable to put the same amount of enthusiasm. The question did
hurt, it did cut deep, and as much as he wants to reassure her, his mood did drop.
“Tell me something willingly, then. I don’t want my stupid mouth to ruin our date…” she pouts,
batting her lashes. “Tell me whatever!” she smiles. “Whatever that you’re comfortable saying, I
won’t ask, I don’t want to risk mentioning something else that upsets you…”
“Alright…” he looks down. Sharing isn’t really his thing. “Ok, so, Tae and I, the other day—”
Yun forces her smile to stay on; the mention of that name for the umpteenth time is already
starting to sound a little repetitive. She’s not very fond of it, she’d rather have the attention on
herself, or learn something about Jungkook himself, not Jungkook and his roommate.
However, Jungkook does look less upset now that he’s started talking, and it was only her fault that
his mood got ruined, to begin with, so she doesn’t find it in herself to complain, only takes another
grape to her mouth, listening attentively, all the while, playing with Jungkook’s hand.
She’s enjoying the date, she won’t let something like this wreck it.
│►
Jungkook’s hand rests on Yun’s thigh as he drives down her street, following her directions until
they reach a stop, both turning to each other rather awkwardly. Maybe it’s not awkward for both,
but Jungkook definitely doesn’t know what to do next. Do they hug? Do they kiss?
Should they just say ‘bye’ and part ways?
“So.” he says.
“So.” Yun parrots. “We’ll repeat this, right? I had a really good time.” she asks, hopeful. Jungkook
smiles, nodding. Yun giggles, cupping his cheek before leaning in for another kiss; a goodbye one
this time around, and Jungkook doesn’t take any time to kiss back.
“Yeah. We’ll repeat it.” he says once she pulls away, both of them smiling rather shyly. “I’ll text
you.”
“I’ll be waiting.” she winks before opening the door and throwing a flying kiss before closing it
again. Jungkook watches her walk away with a little smile, only starting the car once she’s safely
inside the house.
Then he proceeds to turn the car around so that he can go back home. He has a smile on his face
the whole way back, the date still being replayed in his mind. It went well, he thinks. At least, way
better than anticipated, and he can’t wait to tell Taehyung all about it.
Despite that moment when his family was mentioned, he enjoyed it quite a lot.
However, the excitement dies down once he sees the time. Taehyung has most likely gone to bed
already, he concludes. It will be a bummer if that’s true, because he really wants to tell everything
to his best friend, he’s excited to share all the details of what happened.
Moon is the first to greet him when he opens the door, Simba only going as far as lifting her head
up from the couch to see who’s coming in, but Jungkook still waves at her after petting Moon with
both of his hands, rubbing her ears just how she loves it.
Then he stops, taking a moment to focus on the sounds around him to try and guess whether
Taehyung is up or not, but the apartment is way too silent for him not to be asleep, just as he
predicted. Upsetting, really.
So, he throws the car keys to the side, huffing to himself. “Jungkook!” he hears, followed by a
running Taehyung coming from the room, hair all of the place and eyes only half-open. “Tell me
about it—!” Taehyung trips over himself, almost face-planting, but catches himself in time.
“Were you asleep?” he asks instead, allowing the younger man to pull him to the couch, where
they both sit down, Taehyung crossing his legs on top of it; posture a little lazy but eyes excited.
“Yeah.” Taehyung nods. “Moon woke me up when she ran here, and then I heard you, so I had to
come and ask you how the date went. Tell me all about it, how did it go?” he asks with a smile.
“It went well, actually. She didn’t seem bothered by just going to the park, we talked a lot… it
went well, I believe.” Jungkook smiles. “Though…” he drags out, looking away, teeth worrying at
his bottom lip.
“Yeah…” Taehyung encourages, leaning down to meet his eyes. “What happened?”
“She asked about my family, and when I didn’t want to say anything, she kept pressing. She
apologized, but… you know how much of a sensitive topic that is for me.” Jungkook sighs, letting
Taehyung get closer to brush his hair away from his forehead. “It upset me, I tried not to let it get
to me, but it did. I uhm… it really hurts when they’re mentioned. Especially so carelessly.”
“I’m sorry that that happened.” he says in a low tone, leaning towards him to plant a kiss on his
forehead. “But I’m glad that the rest of the date went well, it’s very good that you didn’t let it ruin
the whole date, I’m proud of you for being able to deal with that, despite being hurt.” Taehyung
goes on as he combs Jungkook’s hair ever so slowly. “Can I ask what did she say…?”
“Thank you… and she asked if—” Jungkook gulps. “She asked if they’re dead.” Taehyung goes
silent, staring at him questioningly. Though his hand still combs Jungkook’s hair, his mouth stays
shut, unable to say anything at all.
He just stares; puzzled, confused, and curious.
Jungkook chuckles, a little humorlessly. “And now you want to ask too.” he points out with a tired
smile, head resting back on the couch but still facing the blonde. “Do you?”
“I-I do.” Taehyung nods ever so slowly. He doesn’t want to lie. “I do want to ask because it’s such
a dark thing and— and yeah, I wish that I knew what happened to or with them, but I know that you
don’t want to talk about it unless it’s on your own, so I’ll wait until you decide to bring it up, I’ll
wait until you’re ready to go there. Even if they’re not actually… well. Dead.”
Jungkook just stares back at him for a second, his smile weak before raising his hand to cup
Taehyung’s chin, his thumb caressing it carefully. “Thanks.” he whispers, lips stretching even
more once Taehyung smiles back at him. “Thank you for being so… respectful and understanding.
And patient with me, really. Thank you so much.”
“Don’t thank me. You’re my best friend, you don’t have to thank me.” Taehyung lets his hand fall
from Jungkook’s hair, only to caress his cheek for a moment. Then he removes it, contrary to
Jungkook’s hand that remains on his chin; thumb still moving carefully.
“Let’s go to bed, angel?” Jungkook asks in a whisper.
“Yes, please.”
“I’ll give you more details as we’re waiting to fall asleep.” he offers a hand to help him get up, and
Taehyung giggles before taking it.
“Sounds great.”
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 40 │►
Chapter Notes
Jungkook sighs to himself as he pushes the front door open, already throwing his keys to the small
table on the side. He’s tired, rightfully so. Eunjae called in sick, leaving him — a new worker on
top of it all — to take care of everything on his own. He did manage, the day being a rather calm
one in terms of customers, but he’s beyond exhausted. He just wants a long nap.
Moon is quick to greet him at the entrance, but he doesn’t even find the energy to play with her as
he’d normally do, so a few pats to the head feel like enough. She doesn’t seem to find it weird,
given her tail doesn’t stop wagging and her ears remain perked up.
Her owner throws himself onto the couch as soon as he reaches it, closing his eyes while blindly
kicking his shoes off. An arm lazily thrown over his eyes and he’s ready to just lay there until
Taehyung comes home. His arrival isn’t always at the same hour as he often gets held back either
at work or by one of his many friends that Jungkook hasn’t met yet.
He only knows of Jimin and Hoseok.
The front door opens about half an hour later; he’s unfortunately still awake, but makes no move to
look up, too immersed in his fake — close enough — sleep. However, there’s a pair of fingers
continuously touching his chest just seconds afterwards.
He just groans, letting the younger know that he’s awake.
“Hyungie… I have a letter for you.”
“Leave it on the table, I’ll open it later.” Jungkook mumbles. Taehyung pouts, looking down at the
envelope in his hands. It’s important and he knows that his best friend will be really happy, to say
the least. He must read it immediately, Taehyung concludes.
“It’s really important, please read it.” he muses. “You can go back to resting afterwards, I won’t
bother you...” Taehyung tries, nudging his leg and Jungkook sighs, sitting up and grabbing the
piece of paper from Taehyung’s hands. “Read out loud, by the way.”
Jungkook’s too tired to ask why.
“Are you mad at me?” Taehyung asks before he can even open it.
“Huh? No, not at all, I’m just tired. I’m sorry if I’m coming off that way.” he looks up with only
one of his eyes open, all the while unfolding it carefully. Taehyung just gestures for him to read, so
he clears his throat before he starts, the younger watching him with the biggest smile. “Dear Jeon
Jungkook, congratulations, on behalf of the Seoul National University community…” he frowns,
confused. “...I am pleased to announce your admission for—” he stops, looking up. “You have a
second to tell me what is this.” Jungkook blurts out, eyes scanning the rest of the page.
“Surprise!” Taehyung yells, a smile in his voice, excitement evident.
“Tae— I’m afraid that I don’t understand—” he reads it over once again, realization hitting him.
“Is this for real?” Taehyung nods, watching as he lets his head fall into his hands, silent.
“Hyung?” he calls with a bubbly chuckle. Until he sees Jungkook’s shoulders shake, and so he
quickly sits down, taking his crying figure in his arms. “There, there.” Taehyung giggles as he
rocks the older man, playing with his hair. “Why the tears? I truly hope that they’re happy ones, at
least.” he jokes, still going back and forth, tears welling up in his eyes just by seeing his best friend
in such a state.
If Jungkook cries, so does he. It doesn’t matter whether they’re sad tears or happy ones.
“It’s your birthday present hyung.” Taehyung whispers into his hair. “I know that it’s your dream.
Well, one of them, at least.” he sniffs. “It’s my birthday gift…”
“I can’t— Tae, I can’t take it.” he finally pulls away, nose red from crying. “I know how expensive
it is, especially in this situation, with no scholarships or whatever, I can’t accept it. It’s a dream,
yes, it is, but I can’t let you be the one sacrificing yourself for it to become a reality.” Jungkook
shakes his head as he hands the letter back. “Thank you so much, but I can’t… I can’t take it.”
“Yes, you can.” Taehyung hands it back. “Especially since it’s going to be free.” Jungkook sniffs,
rubbing his eyes before looking up at him, confused. “You probably don’t remember this, but
Hoseok works at the office in Seoul’s university, and he got us a deal. A deal for you, I mean. For
you to study there.” Jungkook looks down at the letter, reading it all over again.
“So— So I’ll be a student again? I'll get to join next semester...? Is that what this means?” he eyes
Taehyung, a hopeful spark behind his eyes. Taehyung nods, smiling as big as his lips allow him to,
and lifting his hand to comb Jungkook’s hair away from his face.
“If that’s what you wish, then yes, you’ll be a student again.” Jungkook gapes. “I got you in
architecture, and a minor in engineering because I remember you mentioning it, but you don’t have
to stick with that one, I wasn’t sure, and you can even change your minor, it’s totally f—”
“No, no, those two— shit, perfect. Seriously, I can’t believe this, I never— I thought—” he looks
down at the letter again, chuckling a little cluelessly. It’s hard to believe. “I didn’t think that this
would ever happen, seriously, I’d never be able to pay for it so I just— I had already accepted my
failure… how— you— I don’t even know what to say, I sound like a scratched record. I don’t
know how to thank you enough, Tae, I don’t know what to say. Thank you so fucking much.”
“You don’t have to say anything.” Taehyung reassures. “Much less thank me. I did this for you,
because I adore you, you mean the world to me. I want you happy and I knew how happy this
would make you. I know how much this means to you.” he smiles. “If I can help, I will. I am.”
“Don’t you think that I’m like…” Jungkook drags out, expression falling.
“You’re what?” he tilts his head. “You can tell me, go on.”
“I mean— old?” Jungkook scratches the back of his neck. “People go to college at eighteen after
high school and I’m just turning twenty-eight, that’s a ten-years long age gap…” he sighs. “Am I
too old for this? Will it be insanely embarrassing for me to be there?”
“Well…” Taehyung shrugs. “I don’t think that age has anything to do with it, not everyone in my
psychology classes was my age, there was even a fifty-year-old man who had majored in three
other things before, but was only then figuring out his passion.” Jungkook blinks. Alright, fifty is
older than thirty. “You shouldn’t be worrying about that, hyung. That shouldn’t be a concern.”
“Thank you so much, Tae. Fuck, I can’t believe that this is real.”
Taehyung laughs, patting his thigh. “You’ll have time to accept.”

Jungkook lays down to rest his head on Taehyung’s thighs, still sniffing as he goes over the letter
for the umpteenth time. And Taehyung just lets him, combs his hair and watches his smile grow
every single time that he reads that first paragraph. It’s endearing; it warms his heart.
They’re both startled by the front door being pushed open so hard that it hits the wall, followed by
loud voices coming together in a melody that Jungkook immediately recognizes as the happy
birthday song. He sits up, gazing at Taehyung with a clueless look in his eyes.
The blonde just smiles, getting up to join the singing, all of them exaggerating perhaps a little too
much. And Jungkook stares, eyes wide, confused, but also entertained. Yoongi looks like he’s
having the time of his life and it makes him laugh.
Seokjin stands at the front, holding a cake with way too many candles. “Happy birthday, dear
Jungkookie…!” they sing, dragging out his name. He’s relieved once the song is finally done and
over with, getting up to blow out the candles. How is one supposed to act while others sing them a
happy birthday? It’s the most awkward thing ever.
Blowing out the candles proves to be a hard task; they’re too many and Seokjin seems to love his
struggle. “Who the hell came up with this?” Jungkook asks, ready to complain someone’s ear off.
He hates his birthday and he most certainly hates celebrating it.
He wanted to ignore the date and act like it’s just a regular day.
“Taehyung did.” he looks over at the younger man, who just looks back with a big smile, waiting
for a reaction. Jungkook only steps closer to hug him. Hug him tight. Everyone around just
watches, fond grins adorning their faces.
“Thank you.” he whispers, his face tucked into Taehyung’s neck. “You do so much for me, it’s
unbelievable.” he goes on, figure back to shaking even just the slightest. He was so ready to say
that he didn’t want any sort of gathering but, knowing that Taehyung was the one preparing it, he
doesn’t have the heart to say anything. He’s thankful for everything that Taehyung does.
Taehyung coos, rubbing his back. “Please, don’t cry.” he whispers but Seokjin seems to hear it,
given that he wastes no time before he starts making jokes, poking fun at the fact that he’s crying.
Jungkook ignores them, well aware that he means no harm.
“They’re happy tears, I promise.” Jungkook pulls away, nose reddening. “I’m even happy to see
this idiot.” he points at Yugyeom, the aforementioned forging an offended expression.
“I’ve missed you too.” the young man says, pulling him for a short-lived hug.
Jungkook then takes his time greeting everyone individually, thanking them for coming, despite
still wishing that he could just cuddle Taehyung on the couch, watch movies the rest of the day,
and fantasize about joining college in a few months.
Jimin hands him a bag for him to open later. “It’s just a little something from the both of us.”
“You seriously didn’t have to… thank you so much.” Jungkook takes it, carefully placing the bag
somewhere out of Moon’s reach because, as well-behaved as she might be, she has her moments.
“And Hoseok, how can I even begin to thank you?”
“I’m guessing that Taehyung has already broken the news.” the blonde giggles, coming from
behind them at the mention of his name. “Don’t thank me, you don’t have to.”
“I couldn’t keep it… I was going to wait for everyone to be here to give him the acceptance letter,
but I couldn’t wait, I had to tell him.” Jungkook can tell by the lack of surprise on his best friend’s
faces, that they already knew about the college entrance letter.
He opens his mouth to speak, but he’s interrupted by his phone ringing in his pocket. It’s a call, and
he can see his coworker’s name on the screen. “Give me a second…” he asks, taking a few steps
away from them to accept the call. “Make yourselves at home, get comfortable.”
“I’ll put the cake in the fridge…”
Jungkook stands by his bedroom door, taking the phone to his ear. “Hel—”
“Happy birthday, you old sack!” Eunjae yells.
Jungkook frowns. “Thanks.” he says with a pout, words followed by a sniff.
“Are you c— Why are you crying?!” she asks right away. “What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
“I’m not crying.” Jungkook lies. Well, partially. He’s not crying anymore, he’s only sniffing.
“Are too.” she accuses. “What’s wrong? I don’t want you over there crying on your birthday, it
should be a day of celebration. Which, now that I mention, are you celebrating?”
“Not really…?” he turns back to see everyone; they’re all involved in some conversation that he
can’t really understand since he can’t hear from there. “I have friends over, I’m pretty sure that Tae
will tell them to stay for dinner, so yeah, I have them here… and some cake.”
“What? Why was I not invited?!”
“For starters, you’re not my friend, and second, weren’t you sick? That’s literally what Seojoon
told me this morning.” he frowns when Eunjae laughs, long and loud. “Did you lie about it?”
“Yep! I had a date. It didn’t go well at all, but I’ll tell you about it some other time, probably
tomorrow so that we can kill time. Now, give me your address so that I can join this gathering.”
“No.”
“Give me the damn address.” Eunjae insists.
“It’s for friends only.” Jungkook snorts at her offended sound, turning into a quiet laugh.
“I’m your most entertaining friend, and that’s just about it. Now, give me your fucking address
before I have to commit a crime and snoop around on Seojoon’s things to get it.” there’s a beat of
silence before she clears her throat. “That won’t actually be possible once I’d have to be at the café
and I’m supposedly sick, so just send me a text with the damn thing.”
“Right, ok, God, you’re annoying.” he teases, hearing her laugh on the other side.
“I really am, it’s my best feature. I’ll be waiting for the text.” Jungkook just hums, ending the call
when she makes a loud kissing sound as a goodbye. He’s happy, knowing that she’s coming to join
them; they’ve grown quite close and, even if she does annoy him sometimes, he likes her.
She’s like a younger sibling.
│►
The group stop chatting once the sound of the doorbell ringing fills up the place, and Jungkook’s
leg stops bouncing over Taehyung’s as it was just seconds prior. “Did you call someone?” the
younger turns to him to ask, their positions making them end up way closer than intended.
“Jae basically forced me to invite her.” Jungkook explains as he gets up from the couch to go open
the door for his friend. “Yugyeom, don’t talk too much to her, you two are the same shit and it
would be the biggest nightmare if you two became friends.”
“I’ll make sure to befriend her, then.” Yugyeom teases. Jungkook rolls his eyes with a smile,
twisting the keys to unlock the door and Moon stands beside him with her tail wagging, barking
once, twice, until she sees who stands on the other side.
Eunjae screeches. “You have a puppy!”
“What the fuck do you mean a puppy—” he tries to defend his dog’s pride, but Eunjae pushes past
him to go to the pet, putting her two bags down. A small one and a larger one. “Did you bring
gifts? You really didn’t have to, your presence should be enough.”
“I did have to— Oh, little girl, you’re such a cutie, aren’t you a cutie? Who’s a cutie? You’re a
cutie!” Eunjae says with the stupidest voice that she can pull off, making everyone in the room
chuckle. She looks up at them, remembering that they’re not alone. “Hey, guys.” she greets.
“Hey.” they all greet back. Jungkook watches as introductions are done. She seems to take extra
time with Taehyung, saying something that he can’t hear but that makes the both of them giggle.
Jungkook is both curious and suspicious, because she can’t be trusted not to make stupid
comments.
“Oh, so, your gifts.” Eunjae recalls, walking towards him with the bags. “Open this one first.”
Jungkook clears his throat as everyone eyes him, and pulls the bag open, immediately rolling his
eyes at what he sees inside of it. “Really?” he asks. “Typical.”
“What is it? Let us see.” Seokjin urges. “Don’t be such a party pooper, let me see.” he insists.
“Condoms.” Jungkook pulls the red box out, holding it up with an eyebrow raised. “This is the
most basic thirteen-year-old thing to do.” Eunjae scoffs, getting the box from his hand to point
something out that he seems to have missed.
“See? They’re cherry flavored. The hot girl will thank me.” she wiggles her eyebrows.
“What hot girl?” he can hear everyone ask at the same time, minus Taehyung, who simply laughs
at her antics. “Who—”
“It’s no one, she’s just messing with you.” Jungkook lies, not wanting to bring Yun up so early on.
He doesn’t really want anyone to know and give opinions on something that may not even work
out in the long run. “Thanks, though— I’ll uh, keep this.” he squints.
“Damn right you will.” she pats his back with a smirk. “My other gift, on another note, you’ll
probably enjoy. If you don’t, just give it back to me.” Jungkook hums, opening the bag with
curiosity; curiosity that dies once he sees the contents. Three bottles of alcohol. “I got you two
kinds of vodka and a whiskey. I wasn’t sure of what to get… I’m not good with alcohol.”
He can spot Yoongi and Seokjin sharing a knowing look, and Taehyung eyeing the bag.
Their eyes meet eventually, and Taehyung gulps, clapping his hands once as he gets up from the
couch. “I’ll get some plates and a knife so that we can try the cake.” he informs with a smile that
only Jungkook seems to understand that isn’t real; it doesn’t reach his eyes.
Jungkook watches him leave the room, their friends making the most variate sounds of agreement,
everyone wanting to try the said cake. “Give me a second, I’ll help him.” Jungkook informs.
“Thank you for the gifts, Jae.” he adds, putting the bags down on the small center table before
heading to the kitchen without even processing her answer.
Taehyung’s taking some plates from the cabinet when Jungkook calls after him. The younger looks
back, offering a short-lived smile before continuing to gather the necessary number of plates.
Jungkook steps closer, taking the dishes from his hands to place them on the counter, his other
hand closing the cabinet.
“Look at me.” he requests, voice as soft as it always is. Taehyung does so immediately.
Jungkook tries to find answers in his eyes, but he’s left confused. He knows that the alcohol
triggered Taehyung’s reaction, but he can’t quite put his fingers on what the other is thinking.
“What’s wrong?” he decides to ask. Taehyung wouldn’t hide things from him, he wouldn’t lie, so
he knows that he’ll get a proper answer, or at least he can only hope so.
And he’s proven right when the blonde sighs. “Will you drink that?” he looks up at him. “Will you
— Will you keep those bottles? We trashed what you had here, so will you keep those new
bottles?” Jungkook is silent for a few seconds before he takes a step closer, hand going up to cup
Taehyung’s cheek.
“No.” he whispers. “I won’t drink that. We found a temporary solution. I have— I have you. That
works, at least for now, and I’d pick cuddling you over drinks any time. Any time. Easily.”
Taehyung giggles, and the sound makes him chuckle too, hand still caressing Taehyung’s cheek.
“I’m not keeping them, I promise.”
“Alright.” Taehyung nods, his own hands traveling to Jungkook’s hips, where they hold the soft
material of his shirt. “I trust you, hyung.”
“Good.” Jungkook leans closer, nosing at his cheek before pressing a sweet kiss to it.
“Shit, am I interrupting something?” they pull away — calmly — as Eunjae’s voice comes through
the door. “I was just following that piece of fur since I didn’t know that you have a cat, but this was
really worth it… it’s honestly so exciting to see. I’m extremely pleased with this.”
“You’re not interrupting anything.” Taehyung giggles. “Let’s head back, birthday boy, we have a
cake to serve.” he smiles as he grabs the plates and the knife, walking past the both of them.
Eunjae raises an eyebrow at his coworker. “What the fuck did I just see with these two well-
working eyes that God gave me? What was going on here?” Jungkook tilts his head, confused.
“We were just talking, I don’t understand…?”
“You can’t expect me to be that stupid.” she rolls her eyes. “Who talks like that to their friends?
Your hand was on his cheek, he was holding your waist and all, who does that with their friends?”
“Oh, that.” he laughs. “Tae and I are like that. We’re very comfortable with each other.” Jungkook
gestures behind her, already stepping closer to leave the kitchen as well. “We should go join them,
I must admit that I want to try that cake...” Jungkook sing-songs, disappearing through the door.
“This is so fucking sad to hear.” she sighs to herself. “Blind dude…”

│►
Dinner ends up being a rather cozy moment between them, Taehyung ordering a good number of
pizzas and refusing to let anyone pay for it as he claims that he was the one organizing such
gathering, to begin with, so it’s his responsibility. And well, he was the organizer.
They all sit on the couch, chairs, and the floor; laughing and sharing the dumbest of the stories.
Eunjae tells, not only Jungkook, but everyone about the failed date for which she skipped work in
order to attend. It makes them laugh, it’s a funny story, and helps her get over it.
And after that story, they share more. And laugh more.
Jungkook has a good time. He actually enjoys his anniversary for the first time in years — he
doesn’t remember the last time that he wasn’t depressed from morning to night on his birthday. If
he stops to think, he’s never even had a birthday cake.
Perhaps when he was very young, but he has no recollection of such a thing. It’s sad, really.
By the time that the night comes and the guests begin finding their way out, Jungkook can’t keep
his smile away or the thank you’s out of his mouth. He hugs everyone as a goodbye. Even Eunjae
and Yugyeom. Taehyung just watches with a smile, content with how the day turned out to be.
The both of them rest back on the couch once they’re left alone, Moon still sitting in front of the
door, and Simba nowhere to be found. “Did you have a good time?” Taehyung asks, an arm thrown
over the couch as he sits sideways to properly face the older man.
“I did.” Jungkook nods with a smile. “I spent my past birthday drinking and crying the whole
day… this is— you’ve changed my life so much.” his smile melts even more, adoration written all
over his face; eyes shining and cheeks a little blushed.
Taehyung beams, because he has the exact same look. He takes a hand to the elder’s hair, threading
his fingers through it slowly and watching as Jungkook’s eyes close, all the while leaning even
more into the comforting touch.
“You sure do have a thing for my hair.” Jungkook says, almost purring, more than loving the way
that Taehyung’s fingernails lightly scratch his scalp.
“I’ve told you that I really like it.” Taehyung giggles. He doesn’t deny it. Jungkook smiles, resting
back on the couch, focused on nothing but the feeling of his hair being played with.
Taehyung observes him in silence.
“Do you think that Seojoon will let me adapt my schedule to the classes?” Jungkook asks all of a
sudden, his eyes opening again. “I mean, when they start. Do you think that he will take it into
consideration? He may just fire me and get someone who’s free when he needs and wants…”
“Well…” Taehyung starts, breaking eye contact in order to think. “He might fire you, or he might
let you stay with different schedules, I don’t know. I don’t want to lie and then make you believe
something that may not happen.” Jungkook nods, eyes focusing on the ceiling.
Taehyung is right, creating scenarios won’t do him any good.
Jungkook tilts his head up when Taehyung sits himself on the back of the couch with the elder
between his thighs. “What are you—” he starts, only to be stopped when he feels two hands back
on his head; this time separating his hair more carefully. “Are you going to style my hair?”
“Yes.” he confirms. “Face the front.” and Jungkook does, because how can he say no? “Are you
nervous about classes?” Taehyung asks after a few moments of silence, one hand holding a portion
of Jungkook’s hair as the other continues to minutely part it in two equal halves.
“A little bit. I’ll probably be the oldest there… so I hope that there aren’t any of those rebellious
guys who just mock people to show off, because the years have made me lose patience for that
kind of people.” Jungkook sighs. “Basically, I don’t want someone like me, like how I used to be.”
he whispers the last few words, embarrassment evident in his voice.
“One thing we know for sure.” Taehyung starts. “You’ll be the smartest there.” he smiles as
Jungkook laughs, the sound full and bubbly. “I don’t want you to think about the negatives, just
focus on yourself and on doing good, okay? That’s all that you need to worry about.”
“I… I want to ask you something, I’ve been thinking about it since everyone came in and I was just
waiting for them to leave so that I can bring it up.” Jungkook gulps. “Don’t you think that it will
basically be a waste of time…? Me going to those classes, taking someone’s place…” Taehyung
frowns, confused, and so he just lets out a small sound to urge Jungkook to go on. “Why do I need a
degree if I won’t get hired by anyone? Graduating college won’t erase my mistakes and my past.”
“It won’t erase it, that’s correct, but it will show everyone that you’re qualified nonetheless. This is
why you need to focus and get good results, so that your final grades show just how freaking
incredible you are; your mind is. Those things must matter…” Taehyung takes his hands away to
appreciate what he just created, cooing at it.
“I hope that they do matter.” Jungkook agrees. “Now, what in the world did you do to my hair?” he
raises his hands to feel it up, blinking when he feels it divided in two halves, each secure by a hair
tie in a ponytail. “Did you just… give me pigtails?”
“Yep.” Taehyung giggles. “Look at me.” and he does, rolling his eyes when Taehyung does
nothing but laugh even more. “You look so cute, oh my God, you look adorable.”
“I’m not cute, I’m manly. C’mon, don’t bruise up my ego.” the blonde wheezes at the offence in
his voice, taking his phone to snap a picture, in which Jungkook tries to hide his face but positively
fails, looking nothing but cutter with that big smile of his. Dimples included.
“Let me pinch your cheeks, come here—” Taehyung does try to, but both of his arms are held by
the elder as he’s thrown onto the couch, Jungkook pining one hand on each side of his head.
Taehyung laughs even more. “I can’t take you seriously with that—”
Jungkook tries not to laugh, but his smile betrays him, not dropping not even for a second.
He just watches quietly, the way that Taehyung’s eyes disappear within the apples of his cheeks,
pearly white teeth on display; his blonde hair sprawled on the couch, and he looks beautiful,
there’s no other way to put it. Jungkook doesn’t even try to find another way.
Taehyung looks beautiful like that— no. Taehyung always looks breathtakingly beautiful.
“Hyung?” Taehyung calls after a few seconds of silence, snapping Jungkook out of it. He didn't
even realize that he was just starting. The blonde’s eyes widen all of a sudden, pushing him away.
Jungkook is startled for a second, afraid that he might have made Taehyung uncomfortable.
However, “I have a gift! I almost forgot! Wait here.”
His eyes remain both confused and curious until Taehyung returns holding a box. It’s not too big,
but it’s not that small either, and Jungkook has no idea of what it could be. It’s wrapped neatly,
though, so it wasn’t just bought last minute. “You’ve given me enough gifts already…” he points.
“Shush.” Taehyung sits down, handing it to him. “I remember that one time, at the park, when you
told me that you sold yours so… I got you a new one.” Jungkook frowns, trying to remember such
conversation, and his expression lightens once it comes back to him.
“A car!” he jokes, making Taehyung laugh. “You could’ve just handed me the keys, no need to put
them in a fancy box.” he goes on, trying to buy himself some time to maybe figure out what it
might be. He has no idea, he doesn’t remember what else was mentioned apart from the car.
“If I got you a car, you’d make me return it. I thought about it—” he stops once Jungkook’s eyes
meet his, as wide as ever. “—and I can see that you wouldn’t have liked the idea.”
“You’re crazy, I can’t believe that you even thought of such a thing.” Jungkook shakes his head.
“I’ll just open this, now I’m fucking scared.” Taehyung watches as he tears the wrapping paper
apart, fingers stopping once he sees the image and the letters in the box. “Shut up.” he says. “Shut
the fuck up— Tae— no, oh my God.” he stammers.
“Is that a good reaction or…?”
“These are so freaking expensive! I can’t believe that you got me a camera.” Jungkook stares at the
box before putting it down and looking at him. “Mine was so expensive already and this one is so
many models ahead, I can’t even imagine how much you paid for this.” he twists the box in his
hands, examining everything to the smallest of the details. “Holy shit— No.”
“I paid ten bucks.” Taehyung lies, chuckling once Jungkook presses his lips in a thin line, not
buying the obvious lie; unimpressed. “Alright, it was actually fifteen bucks, wrapping paper
included already.”
“I said no more than five bucks, I can’t believe this.” Taehyung smiles, because he can see the way
that Jungkook’s eyes shine as he looks at the box. He loved the gift, Taehyung can tell.
“Thank God that it cost me exactly three bucks and… forty cents, I think.” Jungkook laughs,
putting the box aside to hug Taehyung, the latter giggling into his shoulder, happy with the reaction
that he got. “I’m glad that you liked it, I wasn’t sure if you’d want a different one.”
“I loved it.” Jungkook says, hugging him even tighter. “Thank you. For today, for literally
everything that happened today.” Taehyung coos, allowing Jungkook to push him back until
they’re both laying down, though Jungkook’s arms are still around him, still holding him.
Taehyung just lets him, even if Jungkook is almost resting between his legs, even if Jungkook’s
nose is buried in his neck, because he doesn’t mind, he feels comfortable in Jungkook’s arms.
He feels safe in his arms. He’s never felt this way with anyone.
“You don’t have to thank me, hyung, I just want you happy…”
“I am happy right now. Today, I was the happiest that I’ve ever been… at least for as long as I can
remember.” Jungkook whispers, voice muffled against his skin and his clothes.
Taehyung smiles. “That makes my heart feel so full, hyung, you have no idea…”
“Can we stay here? For a bit?” Jungkook mumbles. “You’re warm.”
“Mhm… of course.”
│►
Jungkook stops drinking his water once he hears his phone ringing and he puts the glass down to
take the call; the contact’s name brings a smile to his face that he doesn’t even try to fight off.
“Hey, there.” he greets, resting his hips back against the counter.
“Hi, handsome.” Yun giggles from the other side. “I’m calling to wish you a happy birthday,
birthday boy.” she says with excitement audible in her tone.
“Thank you, Yun.” he bites his bottom lip. “I find it cute that you remembered, I only briefly
mentioned it, I didn’t expect you to remember the date.” Jungkook comments as he mindlessly toys
with the hem of his shirt.
“Of course I remembered, I set a note on my phone and everything.” she laughs, the bubbly sound
making Jungkook let out a small chuckle of his own. “But tell me about your day, did you
celebrate it with your friends? Did you get a cake…?”
“Oh, yeah, I had some friends over. Taehyung called them, though. I wasn’t even going to
acknowledge today as my birthday, but Tae got everyone to join us for dinner and yeah, they
brought a cake and it wasn’t as shitty as anticipated.” Jungkook smiles. “It was nice, I had a good
time…”
“That’s great, Jungkookie.” she muses. “I’m sorry that I didn’t call sooner, I wanted to catch you at
night so that I’d have you all to myself for a little bit.” Jungkook chuckles at that. That’s rather
cute. “Many birthday gifts?”
“A few. Once you reach a certain age, people don’t really feel obligated to buy birthday gifts; and
you don’t look forward to them, either.” he shrugs. “However, I must admit that one does stand
out.” Yun encourages him to go on, curious. “Tae bought me a camera, I’m actually very excited
about that one.”
“That’s nice.” she replies with something that Jungkook can’t quite identify in her voice.
“Anything else that stands out? I’m all ears...”
“Well…” he chuckles. “I did get some interesting condoms from Eunjae, my coworker.” Yun lets
out a surprised sound, and he cackles. “Cherry flavored ones, that sounded interesting.”
“I love cherries.” Yun comments, suggestive. “Cherry flavored Jungkookie is a big yes from me.”
Jungkook laughs at that, looking down at his feet. Talking to her is not as awkward as he thought
that it would be. The thought of her truly becoming his girlfriend doesn’t feel as weird as
anticipated.
A relationship doesn’t sound that hard now, that impossible.
He laughs again once Yun suggests that they should try them soon. That’s ok, Jungkook thinks.
“What about… What about your day? Any news?” he asks, though is attention is stolen by some
movement caught in his peripheral vision; Taehyung’s standing by the door with some pajama
pants that Jungkook is sure are made of silk, and a button-up that has the first three buttons open,
showing his smooth, tan skin down to his collarbones.
Jungkook lets his eyes follow it before they go back up to Taehyung’s smile.
“Will you take long?” Taehyung whispers, not wanting to interrupt Jungkook’s call.
“I don’t know.” he mouths while still listening to Yun going on about what her coworker pulled off
at work. “Why?” the younger man disappears for a second before coming back holding the
camera’s box, pointing at it a few times.
“We should try it.” Taehyung mouths, mimicking with his fingers how one would press the
camera’s button. Jungkook smiles, nodding his head enthusiastically, which makes his hair bounce
just the slightest, but still enough for Taehyung to follow the movement with his eyes.
Jungkook gestures for him to wait for a moment and Taehyung smiles, showing him a thumbs-up
before leaving to their shared bedroom. He listens to her story and after that, another one, paying
attention and humming along with it, commenting here and there, even if she speaks enough for
the both of them.
He doesn’t mind it, though. Her voice sounds sweet and her giggles even sweeter.
However, when she tries to start yet another story, he has to interrupt as it’s been over half an hour
and he’s dying to test out his new camera. “Hey— Yun?” he calls after her, cringing a little as he
does so. It’s quite rude, isn’t it? “I’m sorry, I’d love to continue listening, I’m really enjoying this
conversation, but I have to go… Taehyung—”
“Right.” she cuts him off. “It’s ok, will you call me tomorrow?”
“Yes, I will. Sleep well, baby.” Yun gasps, surprised at the sudden use of the pet name.
Jungkook’s surprised too, but he decides to confidently play it off; he’s never called her that
before.
“You too, handsome.” she makes a kissing sound before he ends the call and puts the phone in the
pocket of his sweatpants.
“I’m here, I cut the call short.” Jungkook informs as he enters the bedroom and the younger gets up
from the bed, a rather worried look in his eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“You didn’t have to end the call, she may be mad, I could wait…” Taehyung pouts, handing him
the box. “She’s your— Well, soon to be girlfriend…? Whatever title she may currently have, you
should give her attention. I could wait a little longer.”
“She can have all of my attention tomorrow and she won’t be mad. Besides, my Taehyungie time
comes first, I don’t care.” he teases, placing a hand on the small of Taehyung’s back to guide him
to the living room. Taehyung just tsks with a roll of the eyes, though Jungkook can see the way that
the corners of his lips want to curve upwards. “Are you tired?”
“Not at all, that’s why I wanted to encourage you to try the camera tonight.” Taehyung smiles,
sitting on the couch and crossing his legs as Jungkook sits on the other end. He opens the box
before taking the camera out as carefully as possible, lest he damage it.
He handles it with care, not even needing the instructions to set it up and put the lenses in place.
Taehyung is startled once the camera is pointed towards him, so he quickly places his hand in front
of his face to cover himself up. “What are you doing?” he whines. “I’m in pajamas and my hair is
all over the place, I look horrible, put that down…!” Taehyung goes on with a little laugh.
“You look fucking beautiful.” Jungkook says without a second of hesitation. “Look at me, c’mon.”
and so Taehyung does, cheeks a little red not only from the compliment but also from having to be
in front of the camera in such a way.
Jungkook hums to himself, closing one of his eyes to peek through the viewfinder.
Taehyung does pull a few poses that only make him laugh at himself and end up in even prettier
poses — at least in Jungkook’s eyes. Taehyung’s smile has always been incredibly pretty and so he
makes sure to capture it in as many of the pictures as he can.
The blonde isn’t sure of how many times he sees the flash going off before Jungkook puts the
camera down, satisfied with the results and the quantity.
Taehyung drags himself closer until he’s sitting between Jungkook’s legs, forearm supporting his
weight against the elder’s thigh. “Let me see.” their heads rest against each other’s as they look at
the pictures and Jungkook smiles every single time that Taehyung compliments something.
Never himself, though, he always compliments Jungkook’s talent.
“You look—”
“I never got my pictures taken like this. I mean, with Jimin and all but never… like this.” he
gestures towards the camera, gulping. Never was he made the absolute center of attention, where
someone sat down, excited to just take pictures of him; of no one else, nothing else. Just him.
It makes him feel some type of way.
“Really?” Jungkook asks as he looks up from the camera. “Your boyfriends— Your friends, even,
never just…?” Taehyung shakes his head. “Why not?”
“I don’t know, it just never happened.” Taehyung shrugs. “And Hyungsik was my first boyfriend
so… I never really had the opportunity to experience that.” Jungkook puts the camera down, taking
his hand to comb the hair out of Taehyung’s forehead.
“I’m sure that you’ll end up finding someone who will be just perfect for you. Someone who will
take many, many pictures of you, and give you their time and attention. He’ll treat you well, I can
promise you that.” Taehyung giggles. “It’s not a joke, I’m here now, he will have to get my
approval first and foremost.”
“Yes, yes, of course.” Taehyung confirms with another giggle, leaning into Jungkook’s hand when
it cups his cheek. “Thank you…” he whispers, and he doesn’t even know what he’s thanking him
for because, really, he’s just thankful.
Thankful for everything that Jungkook does, everything that he says, for his presence; for being
there. Taehyung is thankful for him, he’s thankful for having Jungkook in his life.
The best part, in the end, is that Jungkook feels exactly the same way.
If not more.
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 41 │►
Chapter Notes
Be aware for: there’s a little letter in this from a flashback and it has small hints of
suicide, the details are very brief
Taehyung groans as he reaches for his phone to turn the alarm off, closing his eyes as soon as he
hits snooze, back to hugging his pillow so that he can sleep for ten more peaceful minutes.
However, his eyes shoot open once he feels a foot pressed against his. Why is Jungkook still at
home? He leaves before Taehyung’s alarm goes off, they rarely see each other, only if Taehyung
wakes up too due to Jungkook’s phone; he should’ve left for work already.
So, he sits up, taking a hand to Jungkook’s shoulder to shake it carefully not to be too brusque.
“Hey.” he calls. “Hyung.” he shakes him again, deciding to do so more softly, therefore placing a
hand on his face, his knuckles gently touching his cheek. “Hyungie...”
“What…” Jungkook mumbles, lids blinking ever so slowly. “Tae? Is everything ok?” he rubs his
eyes, confused. “Do you need something?” the younger crosses his legs on the mattress to sit closer
to him, observing Jungkook for a brief moment before answering the question.
“Did you sleep through your alarm? Or… did you forget to set it?” Taehyung asks in a soft
whisper, his fingers pushing the hair out of Jungkook’s forehead. Jungkook sighs, placing his hand
on Taehyung’s thigh through the thin material of his pajama pants. “Are you ok?”
“Today is a really bad day for me.” Jungkook whispers, thumb caressing the inside of Taehyung’s
thigh. “I called in and I told Seojoon why I didn’t and still don’t feel like I could stand there for
eight hours being nice to customers. I didn’t even lie about the reason, I could’ve just said that I’m
sick or something… but at least he understood.” he half-smiles.
“Alright.” Taehyung nods. “I won’t ask what the reason is if you don’t want to tell me, and even if
you do, you just woke up and I won’t allow you to do it right now.” he smiles, leaning down to
leave a kiss on Jungkook’s forehead. “Rest, hyung.”
“I will.” Jungkook nods, reaching for Taehyung’s hand when he tries to get up from the bed. “Can
you just—” he stops himself, embarrassed. “This is so stupid, never mind.”
“I’m sure that it’s not stupid.” Taehyung tsks. “Just tell me, can I what?” Jungkook closes his eyes
to take a deep inhale, but Taehyung can see through him well enough already. “Do you want me to
cuddle you back to sleep?” he offers.
Jungkook chuckles. “Yes, please…”
Taehyung slides down in bed, turning to his side to rest his head on Jungkook’s chest, the latter’s
closest arm going around him to keep him close. Taehyung does his best not to close his own eyes,
not wanting to fall asleep, even if his phone is bound to ring soon, which he also hopes to be able to
turn off, otherwise it may wake Jungkook back up.
He raises his hand to rest over Jungkook’s chest, fingers creating slow circles just how he knows
that Jungkook enjoys; just how he knows to be effective when calming the elder down. He often
does it before bed and it usually puts Jungkook to sleep in a few minutes.
Taehyung keeps doing so as he hears Jungkook’s breathing slowing down, chest rising and falling
slower and slower each time. Only does he get up when he’s sure that his best friend is sound
asleep, and he rushes to turn off the alarm, lucky that it didn’t ring.
And Jungkook is able to rest peacefully, at least for a few hours, before he unconsciously tries to
seek warmth and comfort from Taehyung’s body, and his mind registers nothing but an empty bed
and cold sheets.
Jungkook inhales sharply to himself, eyes closed and hands trying not to shake in his pockets. He
pulls them out as he never knows when he has to get defensive. He uses his keys to open the front
door, feet stopping at their own will.
There’s a letter on the floor, so he bends down to pick it up, adjusting the straps of his backpack.
He can see that it’s most probably from his little sister given that it’s written in the same pink
paper that her diary has. Jungkook still remembers how happy she got when he was able to gift her
that stupid diary. It made it all worthy, the way that he got the money, worth it.
The sound of a faint knock makes him flinch and the poor thirteen-year-old takes his hand to his
chest, right over his heart, once he realizes that it was just something outside, harmless.
He goes back to the letter, unfolding it carefully with a little smile. Another one of her jokes,
perhaps? Clues for him to find her in the house, something that she has done before and Jungkook
isn’t proud to say that he’s spent almost a whole hour looking for her once.
Dad left… I’m really scared.
He stops, frowning. What? He puts his backpack down, sitting on the first chair that he can find.
“Mya?!” he calls, only to be met by silence, so he goes on, wanting to at least finish the letter
before he even thinks of what the hell to do about what she’s just written down.
Mommy’s gone and now dad left and I love you but I’m so scared, I don’t know what will
happen to us, I don’t want to get new parents, I don’t want to be separated from you, and this is
really scary, Kookie.
Jungkook gulps at the small circular-shaped wrinkles on the paper, a clear indicator that his sister
was crying while writing it. It makes his chest hurt and he has to inhale before he continues.
I’m really scared, Kookie, and tired, and dad was really mean before he left, he touched me
weirdly but I think that he felt bad so he stopped but it was in places that I’m embarrassed to tell
you! So, I got your computer so that I could search how to meet mommy and
He stops immediately, throwing the letter with all the anger in him, not only towards his father but
towards absolutely everything in his life. “Mya!” he screams, running at full speed towards her
bedroom, only to find it empty.
It doesn’t take him long to find her in the bathroom. “My— Wake up, wake up, wa—”
“—wake up, wake up.” he finds himself repeating over and over again, sitting up once he regains
control of his body and conscience, hands going to his eyes so that he can rub and wipe the tears
away rather aggressively. “Shit.” he complains, hands shaking.
The sound of paws hitting the floor get closer and he sniffs, not wanting to startle the poor dog that
has finally had a break from listening to his cries and lonely pathetic speeches. “Hey.” he greets,
though his voice comes off broken, raspy.
Just looking at her makes him feel emotional, rightfully so.
He thinks of calling Taehyung, but he gives up on it even if he knows that just listening to his best
friend’s voice would probably calm his rapid heartbeat. Taehyung has his own duties and
Jungkook can’t just be a bother because he’s upset. Well, not even more, at least.
So, he sighs, getting up. He can’t sleep anymore.
│►
“Hey.” Taehyung knocks on the open door. “Are you free for lunch?” he smiles at his coworker
who mirrors the grin, just as bright and welcoming. It’s been a few weeks since they were able to
sit down and talk so lunch sounds just like the perfect thing to do.
“Yes, I actually am.” Namjoon says as he puts his jacket on. “I’m feeling in the mood for some
seafood, are we in syntony?”
“Hm, yes, I could have some of that.” Taehyung agrees with a little chuckle. “Let’s head out, then.”
he leads the way to the entrance, pointing towards the restaurant across the street in question.
Namjoon nods.
They both sit down with a small huff, glad to be back in a warm place, just about hating how cold
the temperature was on the outside. “So, tell me, how are things going? With the patients and with
you.” Namjoon asks once they take off their jackets.
“Well… they’ve been getting a lot better for me, I’ve managed to get over a lot of things and it has
made me way stronger, I believe. I’m surrounded by amazing people and yeah, everything is just…
close to being perfect now.” Taehyung smiles. “Regarding my patients, it’s the same old… ones
we get to help more than others. I wish that I could do more at times, but not everyone reacts the
same way, I’m sure you understand.”
“Oh, yes, I get it.” Namjoon nods. “What about that young man? The one that caused a scene
when you transferred him to me. I haven’t seen him around ever since. Do you know anything
about him?” Taehyung immediately smiles at the mention. Jungkook is always a nice topic.
“This will probably sound crazy, but he stopped coming to the clinic because we’re living
together.” Namjoon’s jaw falls. “We’re not dating or anything that you may be thinking, he just
took me in after the whole Hyungsik situation, and we’ve grown so close that I don’t even want to
move out now. I’d probably take him with me if I got a new place.” Taehyung chuckles.
“Those are… some big changes between you two, but I’m happy that they’re working and making
you two happy. Did he make any progress? Given you’ve stopped the consultations.” Namjoon
asks as he takes a bite out of the bread displayed on the table. “I truly hope that losing his therapist
isn’t taking too much of a toll on him…”
“He didn’t lose me, that I can assure you of.” Taehyung defends. “We talk every day, even if we
don’t focus on serious things during the day, for whatever reasons, we always catch up at night
before bed. We talk about each other’s day and I’m there if he wants or needs to share something
new, something that he would share in the clinic. We’re there for each other, a hundred percent.”
he explains, a spark in his eye that Namjoon doesn’t miss.
“That’s amazing, really.” Namjoon mirrors his smile. “So, he’s doing alright.”
“He is, yes. He recently got a new job and he’s joining college after the Christmas break, which is
still a few months away, but he’s excited.” Taehyung sighs, dreamy. He made that happen. “Oh,
he’s pretty much gotten himself a new girlfriend, so that’s also good for him.”
“I’m happy to hear that… And let me just say, you speak of him with a sparkle in your eye.”
Taehyung giggles at that. He had guessed as much; he sees it in Jungkook’s eyes too, so he was
already aware that he was probably no different.
“He’s my best friend.”
│►
Jungkook sighs as he rolls to the other side of the bed, hand lazily reaching for his phone when he
hears it ring. He groans upon reading the name on the screen, clears his throat before taking the
call so that he doesn’t sound too tired.
“Hey.” he greets, voice still coming out raspy.
“Hi, handsome.” she giggles. “I see that you’re not at work. I didn’t go either today so that I could
spend the day with you, which probably sounds a little insane, but I really want to know you better
—!” Yun chortles once again, making him smile weakly while rolling onto his back.
“Yeah, I called in asking to stay home. Today’s really not a good day… at all.” he says quietly,
eyes closing. “I understand and appreciate that you took the day, b—”
“Text me your address, I’ll help lift up your mood.” she offers, which has him sitting up and
running a stressed hand through his hair. It’s not that he doesn’t want to see her, he does, but he
also doesn’t want to see anyone; he wants to be alone.
“Listen, baby, today is seriously a fucked-up day for me, I don’t think—”
“Even more reasons for me to go there.” he closes his eyes, a little defeated. “We could cuddle…
and I heard that my kisses do wonders. We can just watch a movie, too.” she teases, excitement
clear in her voice. Jungkook really hates to be that guy, he doesn’t want to upset her.
“I know that your kisses are good, but— I really just want to be alone today.” he whispers. “I’m
sorry, I don’t want to just flat-out ruin your plans, but… I want to be by myself.”
“Jungkookie’s being mean.” Jungkook blinks. What? “I want to ask you on another date, but I
don’t want to do it through the phone… The plan is: I’ll go over and we’ll cuddle and I’ll bring
this up so, therefore, you’ll act like you didn’t know that I wanted to ask you on a second date.” she
rambles, making him sigh as he pinches the bridge of his nose.
“Okay.” he gives in. “I’ll send you a text with the address.” Yun makes a little sound of celebration
before throwing a kiss and Jungkook isn’t very sure of how to feel. Ultimately, he can’t be too sure
that he will hate being with her on such a day, maybe she will truly make it all better, brighten up
his day. It’s worth the shot.
He gets up to brush his teeth and fix his hair a little bit, taking the opportunity to pick some clothes
from the floor even if everything is almost perfect; Taehyung didn’t lose his thing for tidying up
and Jungkook can’t just watch, so he does keep everything in place as well.
Half an hour passes until there’s a ring of the doorbell, Moon jumping from the bed to bark next to
the door, getting there way faster than Jungkook himself, who rushes to hold her back to let Yun in.
She smiles, leaning down to pet Moon first. Everyone does, Jungkook has noticed.
“Hey, Jungkookie.” she greets him afterwards.
“H—” he’s stopped by a pair of lips on his. The kiss is short, just a small peck to greet each other,
which should be normal given that they’re, after all, on a journey to become more than just friends.
Not that they can really be considered friends, to begin with. The bond that they share is nowhere
close to friendship just yet. They barely know each other.
“Should we go to my bedroom?” he asks, a bit unsure. The whole situation is very new to him.
“Yes, of course.” Yun replies, though, so he feels as though he hasn’t asked anything wrong or out
of place. Inviting her to his bedroom didn’t come out poorly or like he has any second intentions;
he really doesn’t.
“Do you want anything to drink or…?” Yun shakes her head as a no, smiling widely before
grabbing his hand. He lets her, guiding who he’s sure to soon be his girlfriend, to his room, both
followed by a sniffing Moon. He tries not to think about how Yun didn’t greet her that much.
Usually everyone does.
“Your cat is so cute.”
“It’s actually Taehyung’s.” he corrects. “Oh, I told you.... whatever.” Jungkook shrugs. He sits
down, watching as Yun takes her jacket off, revealing a rather fitted dress that leaves Jungkook
wondering whether it was put on for him. She was at home, after all, with the single goal of
spending time together.
She takes her shoes off, climbing to the bed. “What were you doing before I came in?” she asks
with a smile, fixing her position. Jungkook hums, letting her sit closer to him.
“Well… to be honest with you, absolutely nothing.” he chuckles. “Looking at the ceiling—?”
“I know what we could do. It’s certainly more entertaining than staring at the ceiling and it will…
help us get closer, too.” Yun smirks, leaning a little closer. “We could try those condoms that your
friend gifted you for your birthday, they left me curious. I’ve been thinking about them for the past
week…!” Yun giggles, throwing a leg over his to sit on his lap, her dress consequently sliding up
her thighs. “I want to taste them.” she whispers.
“Uh—” Jungkook blinks, not at all expecting such a suggestion. “I’m really not in the mood, as I
told you, today’s not a good day for me.” she leans closer, kissing him. It’s short-lived, but it’s
definitely a kiss, not a simple peck. “Yun…” he tries. “I don—”
“It will distract you, take your mind off of it… It would make you feel better, Jungkookie.” she
tries as she kisses his jaw and Jungkook finds himself frowning, hands moving to her shoulders to
push her away. He feels her try to fight for just a second and he’s beyond shocked to feel that.
“Stop.” he says, tone a little more assertive. “Please.” Yun huffs, crossing her arms in defeat, a
little pout to her lips. “Are you— Are you sulking?!” Jungkook asks almost incredulously. He
doesn’t quite understand how she can be upset over him not feeling comfortable or in the mood.
“I just feel like you’re not that interested in me.” she mumbles. “You blew me off on your birthday
when I called you, our calls aren’t that long, to begin with, and now I come over — horny, I must
say — and you don’t even… care for it. I just— Are you not interested? Do you not find me
attractive or something?”
“I am. I do.” Jungkook reassures, placing his hands on her hips, given the fact that she’ll still on
his lap. “I have a lot of shit going on, mainly in my head, which probably sounds like an excuse but
it’s really not. I know that you’re young, but try to understand this… There are some days where I
just want to be alone. I let you come over since you insisted on doing so, and be welcomed, but I’m
not going to fuck you just because you’re in the mood to try the condoms. I don’t feel well, I don’t
want to do it, my head is killing me. I’ll gladly cuddle or watch a movie or whatever you feel like
doing, but not that, no sex. Not today.”
“Alright.” she nods. “I’m sorry.” her hands raise to rest on his chest, pouting her red lips perhaps a
little too much. “Are you mad? I apologize for being pushy, I-I just— I don’t know… please, don’t
be mad at me, Jungkookie.”
Jungkook sighs. “I’m not mad at you.” and he really isn’t. Yun puckers her lips yet again and he
gets the message, so he joins their mouths in a short-lived kiss. She giggles once they pull back,
using her thumb to wipe off the lipstick from Jungkook’s lips. “Are they stained?”
She chuckles. “Yep. You look sexy, th— Who sleeps there?” Yun asks once she takes a glance to
the other side of the bed, Taehyung’s pajamas perfectly folded and left on top of his pillow.
Jungkook breathes in. “I’m going to be completely honest with you… Tae and I share the bed
because I have really fucked up nightmares every time that I sleep and sleeping with him is the
only solution. I don’t know why, I haven’t been able to figure out why, but sleeping with him
makes me sleep the whole night. Peacefully.” he admits, words slow.
Yun looks down at their laps. “I remember that you had a nightmare when we hooked up…” she
tilts her head. “Will you always have them when we sleep together?” Jungkook sighs, nodding a
little defeatedly. He doesn’t think that he’ll find another solution in the near future. “I must say that
I’m a bit of a jealous person, hearing this is kind of unsettling for me.” Jungkook blinks.
The red flags are there but he gives them a blind eye.
“It’s just Taehyung, you have no reason to be jealous of him.” he says with a confused chuckle.
“Do you promise?” she pouts, placing her hands on the sides of his neck.
Jungkook raises an eyebrow. “I’m not an asshole, I wouldn’t be leading you on if there was
something going on between Taehyung and me.” he frowns. “I’m not like that. There’s nothing
going on between us, he’s my best friend and nothing else.”
“Okay, I’m sorry for assuming, it’s just that we’re still getting to know each other and I don’t know
that much about you… I trust you, though.” she smiles. “Let’s just cuddle for a bit, I don’t want
you upset any longer, handsome.”
“Right. Okay… come here.” Jungkook taps the mattress, letting her lay by his side. Cuddling does
sound nice and he soon finds that he likes this kind of relationship: cuddling, kissing, being a bit
possessive of each other — in a healthy amount, of course. He likes it.
He doesn’t even notice the bad sides.
│►
Taehyung hums to himself as he pushes the door open, already greeting Moon before he even sees
her. His eyes search for Jungkook in the living room and he’s left rather disappointed when he
doesn’t see him on the couch.
His phone died hours ago and he couldn’t let him know that he’d be out until late at night,
occupied with two of his friends that decided to hang out after a long time. He couldn’t find it in
himself to say no, so he agreed. Unfortunately, he doesn’t know Jungkook’s number by heart.
It’s past ten when he goes into the bedroom, taking his jacket off, movements stalling once he sees
that Jungkook’s not alone on the bed. “Oh, I’m sorry.” Taehyung says, chuckling. The couple is
sitting down with bowls in their hands, with what Taehyung guesses is ramen by the aroma; the
television is on and they looked entertained before being interrupted.
“Hey, Taehyungie.” Jungkook greets with a smile. “You came home late tonight, I was getting
worried. I tried texting you earlier, but you didn’t answer…”
“I’m sorry, hyung, I wanted to text you and let you know, but my phone died and I don’t have your
number memorized yet.” he explains. “I hope that you weren’t too worried.” Taehyung smiles. “By
the way, hi, hello.” he greets as he turns to face Yun. “I’m Taehyung.”
“I know, I’ve heard quite a lot from you.” Jungkook smiles as she gets up from the bed. “I’m
Yun.” she bows, polite. Taehyung bows back, just as politely. “And I can only hope that you’ve
heard just as much about me.”
Taehyung hums with a nod. “I guess I did.” he replies, eyes moving to his best friend. “Please
forget that I’m not home, be as comfortable as you were, I’ll just cook something for myself and
watch some television.” he says as he puts his jacket back in his side of the wardrobe.
“You haven’t eaten yet? You could’ve told me, we’d wait for you.” Jungkook frowns, handing
Yun’s bowl back to her. “Are you hungry? I can cook you something, if you’d like.”
“Oh, please, no.” Taehyung immediately turns it down. “You two are sharing some time together,
don’t worry about my dinner, I’ll just cook something quick. I was going to order pizza for the
both of us, but I’ll just cook some ramen and I’m good for the night.
“Alright…” Jungkook nods, patting Yun’s thigh before getting up with both of their bowls. “I’ll be
right back, I’ll put these in the sink.” he gives her a smile that she mirrors, waving at Taehyung
who does the same with a giggle.
Jungkook follows the younger man out of the room and into the kitchen, where he leaves the bowls
to wash later or in the morning. He then rests his hips against the counter, silent for a while as
Taehyung searches for something to prepare for himself.
“Tae?” he whispers once he gathers the courage.
“Yeah?” Taehyung says without much care, still rummaging through the fridge.
“I had a nightmare today.” the blonde looks up at him, furrowing his brows. He closes the fridge,
tilts his head with a questioning look in his eyes. “A rather terrible one…” Jungkook adds.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Taehyung takes a step closer. “My dinner can wait.”
“I don’t want to talk about what I saw.” Jungkook closes his eyes with a heavy sigh. “Especially
not with Yun here because I’ll probably cry and— I just— I don’t want to talk about it right now, I
just had to tell you about it. I had to let you know that it happened again.”
“I’m glad that you’re telling me.” Taehyung nods, slowly. “Does this mean that I’m not enough for
you to sleep well anymore? Do I not help anymore?”
“I woke up trying to reach for you. You weren’t there, I guess— I guess that that’s why.”
Jungkook looks down. “Don’t feel guilty, if anything it’s my fault for believing that I had a
chance.”
“Don’t say that, Koo.” Taehyung takes a step closer, placing his hands on both sides of Jungkook’s
face. “I’m sorry that you had a nightmare, and I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for you. I understand
that you don’t want to talk about it now, so if you want to after Yun leaves, just say it and I’ll be
here, alright? I don’t want you to bottle it up. I’m here to listen, I’m here to support you.”
Jungkook smiles weakly, leaning closer to press a kiss to Taehyung’s cheek. “I’ll head back, I don’t
want her thinking that I’m ditching her or something.” he says as he kisses his forehead, too.
Taehyung giggles, creating some distance between them. “Of course, go enjoy your date, hyung.”
he smiles.
“I’ll try.” Jungkook whispers. So lowly that it goes unheard.
│►
It’s late at night, the apartment is silent and they’re both already asleep, when Taehyung wakes up
with the movements of the bed, the mattress sinking for a second before the covers are pushed
back. He feels them being placed on top of his body right away, Jungkook not wanting him to be
cold; goes as far as tucking him in.
Taehyung just closes his eyes, hugging his pillow to go back to sleep. Jungkook getting up in the
middle of the night isn’t anything new, he often does have to either go to the bathroom or to get a
glass of water, so he doesn’t think anything of it.
However, it isn’t usual that Taehyung hears the front door being unlocked. He opens his eyes
again, confusedly staring at the ceiling as he focuses on the sounds to understand if Jungkook is
indeed leaving. He didn’t get dressed, so where is he going?
When he hears the door open and close again and no footsteps approaching, he sits up, putting on
the first pair of slippers that he finds. He’s in silk pajama pants and a thin button-up, but he can’t
possibly just let Jungkook leave like that in the middle of the night, especially when Taehyung
already knows that he had a rough day. He’s worried.
He doesn’t forget to pet Moon a few times before he leaves, not even stopping to get his keys.
Jungkook’s already out of sight, nowhere to be found and Taehyung doesn’t see him on his way
down the stairs, either, which makes him jog so as not to completely lose him.
Once he opens the front door of the building, he immediately sees the older man sitting on the
sidewalk, his back facing Taehyung, looking up at the sky. He’s in the same sweatpants that he
went to sleep with, and Taehyung can see a pair of slippers on his feet too. He does have a jacket
on, however, unlike Taehyung himself.
Taehyung rubs his arms, the weather not being thin pajamas friendly, as he walks towards his best
friend before sitting down next to him. Jungkook looks at him, surprised. “What are you doing h—
you’re in your pajamas, it’s cold.” but Taehyung can’t pay attention to his words when he can see
tears in his eyes.
“What’s wrong?” Taehyung asks and Jungkook looks away, wiping his tears with a weak,
humorless laugh. “Hyung…?”
“Nothing’s wrong.” the elder lies. “It’s cold, you’ll get sick and I’m not good at cooking soup.”
Taehyung does giggle at that, but doesn’t dismiss the situation. “You should go back inside.”
“You didn’t go to work today because something was bothering you, and I’m almost sure that it’s
the same thing that got you out of bed this late to come cry outside. Alone.” Taehyung says as he
places his hand on Jungkook’s thigh. “I know that there’s something there, and I hate that you felt
the need to get so far away instead of coming to me. I hate knowing that you’re going through
something by yourself.” he whispers. “So, I won’t go inside. You don’t have to tell me why you’re
like this, but I’ll be here by your side either way. Even if in silence.”
Taehyung finishes by facing the front, laying his head on Jungkook’s shoulder, hands between his
thighs in a futile attempt to warm them up. Jungkook worries at his bottom lip, gathering himself
— the courage and his emotions.
“Fifteen years ago today…” he starts, voice weak. “Uhm, I— My sister—” Jungkook stops to close
his eyes; he doesn’t want to cry, he won’t cry. “Fifteen years ago today I lost my sister. And yes, I
know that it’s been so long, but it still hits me really fucking hard when this day comes.” he looks
down at his hands, sighing. “I can’t deal with this, even fifteen years after.”
Taehyung remains quiet. He can tell by the rigidness of Jungkook’s shoulders that the elder isn’t
done speaking, and he’s proven right when Jungkook clears his throat to go on, continue.
“I watched a documentary about pain once, some doctor said that the funny thing about it is that
we can remember that something hurt, but we can’t feel it, we can’t experience the feeling by
remembering it but—” he chuckles, dry, not even noticing the look on Taehyung’s face. He just
loves listening to Jungkook talk. “—but I-I-I feel it. I feel it exactly the same way.”
“I’m sorry.” Taehyung whispers. Jungkook shakes his head.
“Don’t be.” he tries to smile. “I just— I can’t forget how I felt when I held her in my arms… and
she just— she wasn’t breathing, Tae.” his voice gets thinner as he speaks, tears starting to choke
him up. He chuckles with a sniff, trying to fix himself up. He doesn’t want to cry. Not on her day,
she hated seeing him sad. So, he turns to Taehyung. “You’re freezing, you shouldn’t have come
outside like this, you dummy.” he says with a smile.
Taehyung didn’t even notice how he has been shaking ever since he sat down. “I came almost
running after you, I was worried.” he explains, shaking a little harder now that he’s become aware
of the temperature again. Jungkook takes his jacket off, leaning closer. “No, no, it’s yours, you’ll
be cold— hyung—”
“Shush, I’m older, you do as I say.” Jungkook says with a rather teasing tone, sniffing yet again.
Taehyung pouts, allowing Jungkook to put the jacket on him, going as far as zipping it up and
making sure that it’s covering his neck and ears properly. He bops Taehyung’s nose. “Done.”
The blonde then searches for his hands, wanting to at least keep them warm. Jungkook lets him,
not really doing anything when Taehyung rests his head on his shoulder again. They fall quiet.
Jungkook tries not to focus on the cold, focusing instead on how warm his hands feel between
Taehyung’s.
“I’m sorry.” Taehyung breaks the silence after a few minutes. “About your sister.” he clarifies.
Jungkook doesn’t say anything, instead, he looks up at the moon, his childhood song playing in the
back of his head. “I’m sure that she’s in a better place.” and fuck, Jungkook despises that phrase. “I
can’t believe that I said that, it’s so insensitive, I’m sorry, I’m sleepy as hell. I’m sorry.”
“It’s alright.” he pulls his hands away. “She is in a better place, she has to be.” Jungkook smiles. At
least he does attempt to, even it comes off extremely forced. “Shall we go back inside? Do you
want to head back to bed?”
“We’ll go back when you’re ready to go.” Taehyung takes his hand again when he sees
Jungkook’s frame shake, reacting to the cold. Taehyung can’t stop shaking, either.
“You’re freezing, Tae. Let’s go home.” he gets up, helping him to do the same.
Taehyung holds his hand through the flights of stairs, trying to somehow make sure that Jungkook
knows that he’s not alone on such a terrible day. Taehyung can only imagine how painful it is to
lose someone so close, hold that someone when they’re already lifeless.
He keeps their hands linked even as he opens the door, shushing Moon for her to step aside.
Jungkook gives her a half-assed smile, letting himself be taken to the kitchen, where Taehyung
finally lets go of his hand to fill up a glass of water. He hands it over. “Drink up.”
“Thank you.” Jungkook whispers, his achingly dry throat thanking him for finally having
something to drink — which he didn’t even know that he needed so bad. Taehyung rests his hips
against the counter, watching him drink the water with unfocused eyes.
“I have a feeling that there’s something else going on.” Jungkook almost wants to explode, because
yes, there is, and Taehyung seems to always know it. He’s upset that his emotions got ignored, he’s
upset that Yun didn’t care about what he was going through, he’s upset. He’s just extremely upset,
hurt, and he just wants to never think about such a day again.
“It’s nothing…” he whispers, lies, as he puts the glass down.
“Jungkook, you’re the strongest guy I know, if you’re upset, then it is something. I hate that I get
the feeling that you don’t validate your emotions enough. It’s ok if you’re freaking sad, just don’t
lie to me, I just want to help you. You don’t have to tell me what happened if you don’t want to,
but—” he stops once a pair of arms wraps around him.
Jungkook lets out the first tear.
And then they don’t seem to stop.
Taehyung just rubs his back, confused and worried. “What’s wrong, hyung? Why the tears? Was it
something that I said just now? I apologize.” he tries, low and for him only. Jungkook sobs, almost
hiccupping. “Please, say something, hyungie.”
“You—” Jungkook sniffs. “I just felt so understood, I don’t know why I’m crying— Never say that
I’m the strongest guy, I’m so fucking weak. Why am I even crying…” Taehyung frowns at that,
pulling away. His hands carefully settle on Jungkook’s cheeks to wipe his tears away.
“I know about forty — if not less — percent of your life, and it’s so much more than what a normal
person would ever be able to endure and still be sane. You’re incredibly strong, Jungkook.” he
guarantees. “You’re not weak for crying, you’re not weak for having a weak moment.” he’s
startled when Jungkook picks him up effortlessly, placing him on top of the counter.
Then, Jungkook just hugs him again, but uses the newly created height difference to hide his face
against Taehyung’s chest. That’s what that was for, he concludes.
“C’mon, let it all out.” he places one hand on the back of Jungkook’s head, fingers moving ever so
slowly, the other hand rubbing his back. And he does. He lets it all out.
Taehyung isn’t sure of how long they stay in that position for, with Jungkook’s arms loosely
around him and head right on his chest, standing between his legs, crying. Crying like Taehyung
has never seen him cry before. He feels himself close to tears just by listening.
Moon lays on the floor next to them, having given up on rubbing her nose against Jungkook’s legs
to get his attention and make him stop crying; Simba — as always — nowhere to be found. She
likes to be alone, they have noticed.
The sobs slowly turn into tiny sniffs, his frame not shaking anymore, but his arms are still tightly
around Taehyung. “Do you want to go to bed? Tomorrow’s Saturday, we can sleep in.” Taehyung
suggests after a few minutes of complete silence, void of more cries. Jungkook sniffs and hums. “Is
that a yes?” he checks.
“Yeah.” Jungkook says, voice hoarse and throat used. “Thank you for staying.”
“Always. I’m here, always.” Taehyung pulls away just enough, placing a kiss on his forehead,
followed by a kiss on each of his cheeks. “Let’s get you in bed, you look really tired.”
“I am.” Jungkook sniffs. “My head hurts now…”
“I’ll find you a pill.” Taehyung jumps down from the counter, fixing his tear-wet shirt. “I’ll play
with your hair to sleep, how does that sound, love?” that does make Jungkook smile, even if it’s a
small one. It’s there and that’s what matters.
“Please do.” he nods. “I truly need that right now…”
│►
“Here.” the waitress smiles as she places their plates in front of them, both thanking her in unison,
though Jungkook’s words are almost a faint murmur. Taehyung keeps his eyes on the older man,
watching him attempt to take a first piece of pancake to his mouth, almost forcing himself to
munch on it.
He’s not hungry at all. So much so, that he just stares at the table, taking, perhaps, way too long to
chew on such a small quantity of food. He just can’t even think of eating, he’s not in the mood.
Taehyung notices it, of course he does; he notices every small detail. “Are you ok?” he asks at last.
“You know that you can talk to me, whenever you need, about anything.” Taehyung reassures,
pancakes still untouched. Jungkook sighs, looking up at him.
“Yun acted a little weirdly yesterday, I don’t know, it made me feel— Never mind.” he shakes his
head, taking another piece of pancake to his mouth. It’s just as hard to chew as the first one. “No, I
don’t want to bottle it up, I’ll tell you.” Jungkook puts his fork down, sighing.
The blonde smiles. “Tell me, then.”
“I wasn’t feeling very well yesterday… as you know and uh— she uh—” he looks down for a
moment. “She kind of forced herself on me…? Well— Tried to, at least— I don’t know. It was uh,
weird… I said no and she was just— insisting and I kept saying that I didn’t want it but—” he stops
to rub at his eyes before looking at Taehyung. “I had to basically push her away.”
Taehyung goes quiet.
Jungkook feels uneasy.

So, he chuckles, waving his hand dismissively. “I’m probably just overreacting, I was very
sensitive yesterday, don’t mind me, eat your breakfast, sweets.” Jungkook points towards his plate,
giving him a defeated smile before going back to forcing himself to eat his own food.
He chose the pancakes, but now he can’t seem to even be able to smell them.
“Hyung, what are we talking about here?” Taehyung still says. “Did she make you feel
uncomfortable? Uneasy? Unsafe?” Jungkook swallows, looking around before his eyes fall on
Taehyung again. He contemplates lying, but it’s Taehyung, so why would he ever lie to him? They
don’t lie to each other, and Taehyung can read him easily.
“A little bit, yes.” he whispers.
“Then you have all the rights to feel like this. Is it why you’re so quiet?” Taehyung asks, voice as
soft as ever. “Did that moment leave you shaken up?
“I’m not traumatized or anything, please don’t think that this is a big deal, I don’t know what’s
wrong with me.” Jungkook chuckles. “As you could see when you arrived, I was super ok with her.
I don’t know, the way that you validated the way that I was feeling just… just made me think of
how she completely disregarded it…? And yeah, it feels shitty. I think that she’s maybe a little too
young or too… uninformed when it comes to mental health, I don’t fucking know. She’s a sweet
girl and I don’t want to feel like this towards her. Sex is really— it doesn’t mean much to me, it’s
just sex, so the only reason that I’m upset is because it came on such a shitty day, from someone
who I may be calling my girlfriend soon.”
“I believe that you should talk to her and tell her how it made you feel.” Jungkook shakes his head
right away, disapproving. “Do you not want to date her?”
“I’m planning on doing so… why?” Jungkook looks up, puzzled.
“If you can’t tell her when something hurts you, then that relationship won’t be healthy, it won’t
last.” Taehyung rests back on his seat. “Not to mention how terrible her action was, to begin with…
She seems like a nice girl, though, so I don’t know, I don’t know her.”
“It was probably not that serious… I was just being oversensitive—”
“I thought like that about Hyungsik.” Jungkook closes his mouth. “And we both know where that
took me.” the elder looks down, mind racing. Taehyung can see it happening right before his eyes,
so he reaches for his hand on top of the table. “I care so much, so freaking much, for you. You’re
the closest friend I’ve ever had and I would seriously put my hands on fire for you, so don’t think
that I won’t talk to Yun myself if I have to.” he says, tone confident.
“No, it’s okay.” Jungkook shakes his head again, hand squeezing Taehyung’s. “She’s a nice
person, I’m sure that it was just me.” he reassures. “Maybe the moment was wrong, or I read it
wrong; maybe she worded herself poorly, I don’t know, but don’t worry. I want to finally have
something that isn’t a complete failure, so I’ll make sure that this works, that she’s good for me
and that I’m good for her, too.”
“I’m sure that you’re great.” Taehyung half-smiles. “Let me know if she acts weirdly again, I’ll
stop supporting this relationship in a damn second.” Jungkook chuckles at that, his bright smile
making Taehyung’s grow.
“What the fuck would I do without you—?”
“Hm, I don’t know, but I wouldn’t be doing any better without you.” Taehyung admits. “On the
other hand, she was there for a long time last night, apart from that one moment, so I must ask you
if you enjoyed it. Her company and all. What did you do?” he asks as he takes a sip from his
coffee.
“We watched some movies and ate ramen, which we were doing when you got there… I can’t lie
and say that I had the best fun ever, because I didn’t, I didn’t enjoy it all that much, but she was
trying to lift my mood up, and didn’t ask what happened, so that’s a good point.” or maybe she
didn’t care to, he thinks. “She’s a nice, sweet girl.”
“She’s really pretty, too.” Jungkook raises an eyebrow. “What? I don’t have to be into women to
appreciate when someone’s pretty. I like her eyes.”
“She is pretty, yeah.” he agrees, taking a bigger piece of pancake into his mouth, the food starting
to taste a whole lot better. “She has… a really nice body as well.”
“I can’t really comment on that part… What makes a nice body?” Taehyung asks with a giggle,
trying to make the mood lighter, get rid of the dark topics. Jungkook tilts his head in thought.
“All bodies are nice, I’d say, but…! If you go on personal preference, I’d say that I appreciate the
fact that she has a nice ass… and nice boobs. Plus, a small waist, that’s what I find more attractive.
But that’s just me.” he shrugs. “I’m not picky, I prefer personality over it, anyways.”
“Ah, I see, I see.” Taehyung nods, munching on a piece of bacon. “I can see what you mean.”
“What about you?” Jungkook chuckles. “What’s your type?”
“I don’t have one.”
“Bullshit, your nose is growing.” he points out. Taehyung pouts. “Everyone has a type.”
“Uh… just… nice hair.” he scratches the back of his neck. “Maybe— Maybe muscles?”
“Are you asking me?” Jungkook teases with a little amused smirk, an eyebrow raised as he holds
his coffee mug. Taehyung’s cheeks grow red, but he can’t help but feel relieved that Jungkook’s
starting to look and sound like himself again.
“No, I’m— I’m answering the question…” Taehyung frowns. “This is embarrassing.”
“Alright, so, nice hair and muscles?” the blonde puckers his lips, but nods. “I feel like I should’ve
guessed from the way that you never leave my hair alone.”
“I mean— Yeah, I have nothing to defend myself.” Taehyung giggles. “Are you feeling better?”
Jungkook nods, bottom lip caught between his teeth. “Yeah. A lot better. Thank you so much.”
Taehyung reaches for his hand, giving it a firm squeeze. “Don’t thank me, please.”
If their hands end up intertwined, thumbs caressing each other, neither notices it happening.
It’s just natural to them.
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 42 │►
Chapter Notes
Jungkook watches as Eunjae finishes putting the last coffee mugs in place, resting her hips on the
counter as there’s nothing else to do. Jungkook clears his throat. She looks up at him, a questioning
look in her eyes that he understands right away.
“Can I tell you something?” Jungkook starts, question rhetoric. She just nods, gestures for him to
go on. “It’s something weird— Well, it’s only kind of weird, you know? It’s more uncomfortable
than anything, but it’s still weird…? Yeah.” he huffs.
“Dude.” Eunjae cackles. “Just spit it out.”
“It’s about Yun…” Jungkook mumbles as he looks down at his hands, fingers picking at a single
thread sticking out from his apron. He’ll try not to forget to cut that out later.
“Oh, shit, were we right? Does she want to peg you?” she jokes, trying to ease the tension as she
can see Jungkook’s stressed-out expression; she can tell that there’s something clearly bothering
him.
Jungkook’s shoulders sag as she says so and the tension does leave for a second, but he also really
wants to slap himself for ever sharing with her. “Why did I think that I could ever have a serious
talk with you?” he asks, speaking more to himself than anything.
“I’m sorry, I was just kidding, please, go on. I’m paying full attention, go on.” Jungkook looks at
her then, suspicious, but she just smiles and gestures him to elaborate. So, he sighs, nods.
“Well… yesterday I didn’t come to work because I was—” he stops. “I don’t know what Seojoon
told you, but I wasn’t sick, I uh, I was dealing with the loss of someone.” Eunjae nods, expression
turning more serious as he speaks, understanding that it’s indeed something serious. “Yun came
over and she was… horny and I wasn’t. At all. I was sad.”
“Yes, I’m following. What did she do?” she asks with an eyebrow raised, crossing her arms over
her chest, defensive; attentive.
“This is weird to say, but she almost pressured me into having sex with her even though I told her
that I was upset and not in the mood. She kept pushing and pushing and yeah, I had to physically
make her stop. It felt weird, I don’t know, I felt weird then.” Jungkook ends his explanation with a
little chuckle, not wanting to make it sound too serious.
“Wait, what? Are you fucking serious?” Jungkook blinks, smile disappearing. “I would slap her
right now if I could, why would she ever— what the fuck, Jungkook.” she unfolds her arms, fists
closing tight by her sides.
“Calm down—”
“No. You’re my friend, I’m not standing for this. A no is a fucking no, it doesn’t matter if you’re a
guy, you’re also able to say no.” she throws her hands in the air in exasperation. “She sounds like
she doesn’t care about your emotions, like she didn’t give a single shit about you being sad. Did
she even ask why you were like that?”
Jungkook is silent for a second. “I mean—”
“I’m so angry right now.”
“I can tell.” he teases.
“Stop joking. This is serious.” Eunjae inhales to calm herself down, grabbing a rag to aggressively
wipe at the counter. “I truly hope that she doesn’t reappear here or I’ll lose my marbles.”
“Let’s all calm down for a second. I don’t know her that well, she may be the most caring girl ever,
it could have been just a bad day, a bad moment… we can’t judge her since I don’t know how she
usually is. Please, don’t make such a big deal out of this, I promise that she— she’s nice, ok? That
was the only moment where I felt slightly uneasy. I’ve been on a date with her and I’ve spent the
night with her once and those meetings were fine, so just— don’t worry.”
Eunjae sighs. “Just date Taehyung instead.”
Jungkook chokes on his spit. “What—” he coughs a few times, missing the amused look on the
other’s face. “Why would I? He’s my b-best friend.”
“You can’t even say it right.” she points out.
“I’m still choked up.” he justifies.
“Sure.” Eunjae shrugs. “He’s nice, cares about you a lot, he’s really pretty and he, again, stands by
your well-being. I remember when he came here just to drop off your keys. That’s husband
material. I’d let you sit by the door of the house or apartment until I arrived.”
“That’s just because you’re a terrible person.” the man shrugs.
“Might be.” she shrugs. “He also has a big butt.”
“Yes, he does— Wait, what? Why would you say that?!” Jungkook’s voice goes an octave higher.
“Ah—! You’ve looked at it.” Eunjae accuses with a laugh. Jungkook just frowns deeply, eyebrows
curving down as his cheeks flare a bright shade of red. He didn’t look at it, he didn’t! “You’ve
checked him out before.”
“I did not!” he defends himself.
“So, you’ve never looked at his ass?”
“Never. I’m innocent of what you’re accusing me of.”
Eunjae raises an eyebrow with a tilt of the head. “Then how do you know how big his butt is?” she
challenges. Jungkook takes a second. “Just say that you’ve looked at his ass, I check everyone out,
too, it’s not a crime.”
“But I didn’t.” Jungkook tries.
“Yes, alright, then how do you know?”
“I live with him, it would be hard not to notice— You know what, shut up. You should be working
and so should I.” Jungkook mumbles before heading to a couple that is yet to even sit down at a
table.
“You can’t run from the truth.” Eunjae cackles, amused.
“But I can walk.” he winks.
“And I’ll check your ass as you do.” the glare that she’s met with does nothing but make her laugh
and Jungkook has to school his own smile to stay away. He enjoys working with her way too
much.
│►
Taehyung checks his nails as he sits on the elegant white leather sofa while waiting for his best
friend to appear, a few more males passing by him every so often at the store. His eyes shoot up to
the curtain in front of him when it gets pulled back, Jimin standing there in a black suit and a white
tie.
He poses with a smile. “So?” Jimin asks as he turns around to pose in different angles, his smile
always there, bright, big, and contagious.
“I’m not feeling it.” Taehyung admits. “You look amazing, but no, that’s not the one.” he
elaborates, watching as Jimin’s smile falls instantly. “B-But if you like it—”
“I don’t, I’m not feeling it, either. At all.” he groans. “I’ll try the next one on.” Jimin says to the
workers, who nod eagerly. “The one with those sparkly lines, it looked really… extra, I must say.
Looks way more like me.” Taehyung giggles and Jimin throws him a wink before disappearing
behind the curtain once again.
“Hey.” he hears after a few minutes left there by himself, and so he turns to the side, only to be met
with a young man — possibly around his age — now taking the opportunity to sit down right by
his side on the small leather sofa. “Are you the best man, too?”
Taehyung smiles. “Yeah, my best friend is getting married soon.” he gestures towards the curtain
with a little shrug. “I’m assuming that you’re a best man as well…?”
“Yes, indeed.” the young man smiles once again before leaning closer. “I’m Bogum, by the way.”
he introduces as they shake hands. The man has rougher hands than his, even if slightly smaller,
Taehyung notes. “It’s nice meeting you.”
“I’m Taehyung.”
“Would y—” he’s interrupted by Taehyung suddenly turning to the curtain when he hears it being
open once again and he smiles at his best friend; the latter stands there with a hand on his hip and
he just looks right. The suit is black, with a few small red details and some lines made out of some
kind of sparkly material.
It looks fancy. Expensive. Just perfect. “Oh, my.” he gets up.
“I feel rich in this.” Jimin comments, looking down at himself. “I love it…”
“It looks so good on you.” Taehyung almost squeals. “Please, get this one, it’s so beautiful, I
honestly think that it suits you so well.” he takes a step back to look more carefully, nodding in
approval. Jimin looks stunning. “I love it, you look incredible”
“We’ve found the one.” Jimin smiles. “We’ll take it.” he tells the lady to his right that quickly
nods, getting ready to prepare everything for it to be purchased. “Will you get a suit today, too?”
“No, I’m going to get it some other day, I’m not in the mood to get changed a bunch of times.” he
shrugs. “I was also— I wanted to ask if I could uhm, take my purple tie…? The one that I wanted
to wear for the wedding…”
Jimin tilts his head. “If you want to, sure.” he dismisses. “I have to take this off, give me a
minute… Shall we go for ice cream after this?” Taehyung’s eyes shine at the mention. “I’ll take
those eyes as a yes.”
“I’d never say no to ice cream, of course. Go get changed so that we can pay and get going.”
Taehyung gestures, going back to the sofa. Jimin returns to the fitting room to get his own clothes
back, which shouldn’t take him too long.
Taehyung gives a polite smile to the other man, Bogum, was the name, once he sits back down.
“Apologizes for interrupting you halfway…” he excuses himself. “My best friend picked his suit
already, so I must get going soon.”
“Perfect timing, actually. My friend just settled for his, I was just waiting for you to return that I
can go.” Taehyung’s smile falters a little, eyes questioning. “I wanted to give you this before
leaving.” Bogum smiles, handing him a small card where Taehyung can see Bogum’s name and a
phone number, alongside a professional email — he’s a lawyer, or so the card says.
“Oh.” he stares down at it. He’s not very sure of what to say. “Thank you…?”
“Text me.” the man winks, bowing before walking to the exit with a shorter man. Taehyung isn’t
sure of what to do with the number, so he simply shoves it inside his pocket. He’s not looking for
anything, but the man is handsome and seemed nice enough.
He will think about it later.
│►
“Thank you.” Taehyung smiles as Jimin sits down with both bowls of ice creams, immediately
taking a spoonful into his mouth. He really does love ice cream.
“It’s nothing.” Jimin assures. “So… Tell me how things are.” he peeks at Taehyung while picking
some ice cream up with his spoon. “How’s Jungkook? We didn’t have much time to catch up after
his birthday since we entered exams season, but tell me.” he smiles. “How did he react to the
college news? I can only imagine how happy he was.”
“He was so happy, Min… he cried.” Jimin coos. “It’s not even— He was s o incredibly happy
about it, I have never seen someone so happy with the idea of studying.” he sighs, looking down at
the table. “I feel so happy, knowing that I’m the one helping him achieve this dream of his…”
“What did he say about the deal? Did he accept it?” Taehyung remains silent, smile now gone and
fingers just fiddling with his white plastic spoon. “Tae?” nothing; not a word. “You went on with
the idea of lying to him.” Jimin can read him easily, Taehyung should’ve known.
“Yeah…” Taehyung sighs. “I was going to tell him, but his first— the first thing that he said was
that he wasn’t going to accept because of the money. I couldn’t tell him. I know how much this
means to him so, as of now, he doesn’t have to know that I’m paying for half of it.”
“That’s a terrible idea.” Jimin shakes his head with a sigh. “What if he finds out? No, what will
you do when he finds out? Lies never last, he will find out and I can already imagine how angry he
will be if what you tell me is true.” Taehyung frowns, ice cream not even looking that appetizing
anymore.
There was only one time where Jungkook got mad at him. Only one, and it still remains one of the
toughest weeks that Taehyung’s ever had. He doesn’t want Jungkook to be angry, he really doesn’t.
“I will tell him… eventually.” he gulps. “He will only start college in the beginning of January
since it’s when Christmas break ends, he’s not joining classes until then, so I have some time to
think of how to break the news to him in a way that will convince him to still study…”
“If this goes sideways, I’ll be there to remind you that I told you so.” Taehyung stuffs his mouth
with ice cream, positively ignoring what the other male is saying. “Anyway, I can tell that you’re a
second away from turning me into syrup for the ice cream, so… we can change the subject.”
“Let me think of something… Oh—” he cackles. “I tied Jungkook’s hair in pig-tails the other day
and it was very entertaining to me since he likes his hair so much.” Taehyung shares, laughing
even more as he recalls the results. “He looked honestly adorable with it.”
“I feel like his hair is what contributes the most to his mature look, so you totally ruined it for
him.”
“Basically, yes. He just looked cute, nothing else.” Taehyung laughs at the memory. He has a
picture, but he doesn’t want to share it. He doesn’t know if Jungkook would be ok with him
showing Jimin the photo, and part of him doesn’t think that he would like it. After all, he thought
that he looked stupid, so that should be enough of a hint that he wouldn’t want to share.
“Why don’t you two just date?” Taehyung’s laugher dies. “You’re clearly very close, and you—”
“Hey, no, what the hell?” he interrupts right away. “Why would I date my best friend? It’s the
same as me dating you, it’s not something that would happen. We’re friends.”
“You and Jungkook are nothing like you and me. You’re way more intimate, not even physically
— also physically, though — but I mean, the way that you two feel and think about each other.”
Jimin elaborates. “It’s… It’s a very deep kind of connection.”
“Well, yes, we do care a lot about each other. That’s why I’m his best friend and he is mine. I
don’t understand why you’d even ask or suggest such a thing, seriously.”
“Hoseok was my best friend, too.”
Taehyung gapes. “This conversation is over.”
“No—”
“Yes. Imagine Jungkook knowing that my friends say these things about us, he’d be embarrassed
and so am I. We’re close because it’s the way that we’ve always acted with each other, he makes
me feel comfortable and he’s comfortable around me as well. I ask you, please, shut up about this
topic, it’s not ok to even— say this.”
“Right. Ok, then. Tell me how everything with the patients and the clinic is going.” Jimin shrugs,
changing the topic. He’s not satisfied with what he’s heard, but he must accept it. For now.
“I’m glad that you asked.”
│►
“Tae?” Jungkook calls out once he gets home, getting no answer from the silent apartment.
“Taehyungie?” he tries again, just to be sure. Yes, it’s empty. “Hey, baby.” he greets Moon with
both of his hands, throwing his jacket to the couch before heading to the kitchen.
There, Jungkook opens the third cabinet where the cleaning supplies are and pushes them to the
side. He bites down on his bottom lip, hand resting on the cabinet, head laid down on the curve of
his elbow. He hesitates. He always does, lately.
However, he still mumbles a quiet ‘fuck it’ before grabbing the bottle hidden behind everything,
uncapping it right away to take a first sip. It’s half-empty, he notes. He can’t wait to get his first
actual paycheck, he’s going to feel somewhat stable for once.
He takes another sip. And another. Then, another one.
Hips resting against the counter, bottle secure in his hold. He knows that what he’s doing is way
beyond unnecessary and irresponsible. He knows that Taehyung would be angry. He knows that he
shouldn’t even think about alcohol again, but it’s hard to quit. He did spend two days without
drinking after finding out that sleeping with kept his nightmares away, but he couldn’t help it. He
couldn’t stop himself from drinking again. And oh, how it felt amazing.
So yes, he’s been drinking.
And no, Taehyung has no idea.
His head tips up when he hears the keys twisting on the door, Moon already running there while
barking. He quickly hides the bottle in the same place, behind everything, before getting a piece of
gum from his pocket. That should take away the smell of alcohol.
“Hey, baby!” he hears, which makes his lips immediately stretch into a smile. “Where’s your
daddy? Is he home?” Jungkook can hear Taehyung’s forced high-pitched voice as he talks to her
and he finds it adorable. “Jungkook?!” it comes next, as expected.
“I’m here!” Jungkook says back, exhaling against his palm just to check his breath. Mint. Great. He
clears his throat before following Taehyung’s voice to the living room, just in time to see the
younger man throwing himself onto the couch, eyes closing shut. “Are you alright?” he chuckles.
“I’m so tired, we walked so much, went to so many stores.” Taehyung explains, throwing one arm
over his eyes. Jungkook shakes his head with a smile, lifting Taehyung’s legs to sit down on the
couch, placing them over his own thighs afterwards. “I can’t feel my damn feet, they’re dead.”
Jungkook looks down at his bare feet, shoes left by the front door, before taking his hands to one
of them. Taehyung lets out a low sound of contentment as soon as Jungkook’s thumbs press on the
sore bottom of his feet. “How’s that? Does that feel good?” Jungkook asks, fingers still digging in,
massaging.
“Yes, hyung.” as they both fall silent, Taehyung focuses on nothing but on how good the feeling of
having his feet massaged is. Jungkook’s very good at it. “You’re so good with your fingers…” he
compliments and Jungkook laughs, causing Taehyung to open one of his eyes, confused.
“That sounded wrong, but thank you.” Taehyung doesn’t say anything for a few seconds, trying to
process it, but joins him quickly, their laughs blending in.
“Shut up.” the blonde says, using his other foot to kick Jungkook’s thigh lightly. He misses it by a
few inches. The groan of pain is almost immediately and so is Taehyung’s laughter. “I’m sorry!”
he says as he sits up, one hand cupping Jungkook’s jaw. “That wasn’t on purpose.”
“I’m tearing up…”

“I’m sorry, oh God—” Taehyung continues laughing as he leans in to press little butterfly kisses on
the other’s cheek, perhaps a little too many, but neither of them seems to care about that.
“I’m giving you a foot rub and you try to cancel out the possibility of me having kids…” he stops
as Taehyung laughs even more, letting his forehead rest against Jungkook’s shoulder. “It’s
absolutely not funny, I’m in pain here.”
“You’re making it funny, I’m so sorry!” Taehyung kisses his cheek again before leaning away. “I
didn’t kick you that hard, let’s be honest here. I feel like you’re being dramatic.” he teases.
“I’m— What—” Jungkook pouts, stretching his legs to adjust himself and try to ignore the pain.
“Just tell me about your day before I suffocate you with that very pillow that you’re lying on.”
Taehyung giggles, resting back. Jungkook tries not to smile, reaching out for Taehyung’s foot.
“Oh, firstly, can I uh— Can I tell you something?”
Jungkook tilts his head at the sudden seriousness. “You know that you can.” he reassures.
“Anything. You can tell me anything” Taehyung nods, not looking at him. The ceiling is suddenly
far too interesting to look away from it.
“As I was waiting for Jimin to pick his suit for the wedding, there was a guy sitting next to me and
he talked to me for a little.” he starts. “His name was Bogum and he gave me this… business card
with his number so that I could text him later, and I don’t know what to do.” Jungkook’s fingers
stop for a second, an ugly feeling hitting him on his lower stomach.
He blames it on the alcohol.
“Do you want to text him?” Jungkook asks, switching to Taehyung’s until then ignored foot.
“I don’t know.” Taehyung gulps. “What if— What if he turns out to be like—” he stops, not even
wanting to finish his own sentence. Jungkook straightens up his posture, leaving Taehyung’s feet
alone to place both hands on his calves instead, tapping them to get Taehyung’s attention.
Taehyung’s eyes move to him instead, listening.
“You can’t expect everyone to be like Hyungsik.” Jungkook starts, tone soft. “I understand that it
was something really traumatic and terrible to go through, but not everyone is like that, not all men
will be disgusting like him. You can’t stop yourself from getting into a possible future relationship
just because Hyungsik existed in your life.”
Taehyung sighs. “I know, but— I don’t know. It’s still a little fresh. It was months ago, but… I
don’t know…”
“If it’s fresh, then don’t text him. You don’t have to, it’s your decision. If you don’t want to text
the guy, then it’s one thing, now if you’re not doing it because of Hyungsik, then it’s another
completely different. Look at all the men that you’re surrounded with, do we seem— do we feel
like Hyungsik at all? Me, Jimin, Namjoon… just three examples. Do we remind you of him at all?”
“No…” Taehyung answers without a second of hesitation.
“That’s what you must think about. We’re not all like that— shit, Tae, you’re a man yourself. You
know that the chances of your next boyfriend being just like Hyungsik aren’t high. Especially with
me now, I’ll make sure that he’s perfect for you, you know that. He’ll have to pass my approval,
first and foremost.”
Taehyung giggles. “I know.” he nods. “Thank you, hyung, but I won’t text him.”
“Good.” Jungkook blinks. “I mean— Good that you’re not doing it because you’re scared.”
“Yeah.” Taehyung smiles again. “Tell me how work was today, I’m curious, you always have
funny stories…”
│►
“...so then Jae proceeded to say all the things that she’d use that stupid tie for. I really don’t know
if I hate her or adore her, but I’m leaning towards the first one.” Taehyung laughs, eyes
disappearing into the apples of his cheeks. “Anyways, that’s the whole story.”
“She’s really something else.” he comments. “And talking about ties, I wanted to ask you
something.” Jungkook motions for him to go on. “Do you think that it would be alright if I wore
the purple tie that you gave me to Jimin’s wedding…?” Jungkook furrows his brows, not quite
understanding why Taehyung is asking for permission. “You may not want me to so— I’m just
making sure, really… Hyungsik— Never mind, I-I don’t know.” oh.
“No, you can’t.” Jungkook watches as Taehyung’s expression falls. “I’d be way happier if you
saved it for your own wedding so that it could serve its right purpose.” the blonde looks up at him,
smiling with a little giggle.
“But what if I never get married? I don’t even understand how Sik wanted me…”
“Well, I’m sure that you will, given that you’re the kindest, most understanding person that I’ve
ever met. Not to even mention how fucking beautiful you are. Your heart is so big and—”
Jungkook’s voice dies once a pair of arms circles around him, keeping him close, tight. He smiles
before hugging back, not sure of how Taehyung even ended up on his lap, one leg on each side.
“Let’s make a deal.” Taehyung starts, offering his pinky finger. “If I reach thirty-six, single and
ugly, you’ll marry me instead.” he pouts once Jungkook laughs, head thrown back against the
couch. He pokes his chest with his pinky. “Hey.” he calls.
“We’ll never get married, then, because you could never be ugly—”
“This is serious.” Jungkook rolls his eyes with a smile, linking their pinky fingers.
“Deal.” he agrees. “It would be an honor.” they both lean in to kiss their hands as they always do,
sealing their promise with a giggle. Taehyung takes advantage of their position to rest his head on
Jungkook’s shoulder, the older man keeping both of his arms loosely around his body, one hand
rubbing his back slowly.
“That would be so much fun, I’d get to keep Moon.” Taehyung jokes, his face hidden in
Jungkook’s neck.
“You’d only want me for my dog, I can’t believe this.” Jungkook tsks. “Wouldn’t you want my
wealth, at least?” he asks with a laugh trying to come through, but he does his best to hold it.
“I don’t care for money.” he shrugs. “As long as the person makes me smile and… makes me feel
understood—”
“And has muscles.” Jungkook adds, trying to tease him.
Taehyung pouts. “And has muscles.” he still says. “Then I’m good.” he shifts a little on
Jungkook’s lap, trying to find a more comfortable position, Jungkook’s hand falling to his lower
back to help him adjust. The younger just closes his eyes, humming in contentment.
Jungkook smiles as he kisses his temple. “Are you still tired?” he asks with a quieter voice,
soothing and right by Taehyung’s ear. Taehyung doesn’t answer with words, he simply nods, hair
tickling Jungkook’s chin as he does so. “Hm, my tired baby.” he teases. “You can nap right here, if
you’d like.” Jungkook offers, his other hand going up to Taehyung’s soft blonde hair.
“Are you sure?” Jungkook hums in agreement, allowing Taehyung to also hug his torso,
completely involving him now. “I’m heavy… and you may want to move.”
“You’re not heavy.” he shushes him. “You can sleep, I don’t mind.” and so he goes silent, relying
on the reassuring hand on his back and the one playing with his hair, eyes closing shut. There’s
nothing else besides Jungkook’s warmth, there’s nothing else besides the little kisses that he
presses from time to time to his forehead.
“…I hope that you won’t hate me, even if I know you’ll be disappointed.” Taehyung hears briefly
before he dozes off but finds no energy in himself to even lift his head to ask him to repeat. He’s
too comfortable. Jungkook is too comfortable, his chest too welcoming.
Arms too soothing.
It doesn’t take long for Taehyung to fall asleep right then and there.
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let’s discuss...
◄│ 43 │►
Chapter Notes
“Tell me about how your job has been, we haven’t sat down like this in a while.” Seokjin frowns as
he finishes his request, throwing a popcorn at the two sitting on the other side of the couch. “I can’t
believe that you two are forgetting about me, that’s fucking heartbreaking, man.”
“We haven’t hung out because you were traveling, you idiot.” Yoongi rolls his eyes. “But for me,
it’s the usual. My students are doing really well, they’re focused and interested. I gave them an
assignment that is almost totally free and up to them to choose what to do so yeah, they’re excited
and I am too. I can’t wait to see what songs or whatever they come up with.” he explains with a
proud look in his eyes.
“Oh, that’s nice, it’s good that the kids are having fun with it.” Seokjin hums to himself. “What
about you, Kooks? How’s work going?”
“It’s been alright, it’s actually fun, Eunjae makes me laugh a lot, so time passes faster than it did
when I worked at the gas station.” Jungkook shrugs. “And I uh… I have to tell you guys
something.” he bites down on his bottom lip to suppress a smile. “I didn’t want to say anything
sooner, but there’s no reason for me to stay silent so… yeah, I’ll just say it.”
His friends share a look. “Go on.” they encourage.
“Tae got me a deal in the university that Hoseok works at.” silence surrounds them. “My classes
start in January.” he adds, looking up at them with big eyes, bottom lip still caught between his
teeth as he waits for some sort of reaction.
“Are you— Are you serious?” Yoongi asks, sitting up correctly. “You’re going to college?”
“Yes, I am. It was one of Tae’s gifts for my birthday, that’s why I was crying when you all got
there.” he chuckles, a little embarrassed. “Architecture and engineering.” Jungkook smiles just at
the mention. He can’t wait to start.
“You’re going to have to study so fucking much.”
“I’m aware.”
“Shit, I’m so happy for you.” he doesn’t even register them moving until they’re both hugging him,
uttering many words of encouragement, support but, overall, just sounds that he can’t even
comprehend. “We’re so thankful for Taehyung, he’s been doing so much for you since he appeared
in your life… you look so much brighter lately.”
“He’s amazing, really. And I couldn’t believe it either when he told me… it still feels so unreal.”
they pull away, sitting back down hear more about it. “He—” Jungkook stops as his phone rings in
his pocket. “Hold on…” he pulls it out, smiling at the name on his screen. “Give me a second.”
He can hear them complain about the secrecy, but he’ll be more comfortable talking to Taehyung
in the kitchen, so he goes there without giving it a second thought. “Hey, lovely.” he greets.
“You can get really creative with the pet names.” Taehyung chuckles. “But hey, hyung.” Jungkook
smiles down at his feet. “I was calling because Jimin invited me to go out after dinner. With
Hoseok and all, just to have some fun and a few drinks, you know. I wanted to ask you if you’d
mind…” he tilts his head.
“You’re asking me if you can go out with them?” he turns it around, confused.
“Yeah…?” Jungkook closes his eyes with a heavy inhale.
“Taehyung.”
“Yes?”
“You don’t have to ask for permission.” Taehyung remains silent, as if surprised. “Not only you’re
an adult, I’m also not the boss of you or anything like it. No one is. You don’t have to ask. You
can, however, inform me, so that I know that you won’t be home when I arrive. But I don’t have to
tell you whether you can or can’t go. No one should decide that for you.”
“Then— Then I’m going out with Jimin and Hoseok after dinner, I won’t be home when you
arrive, hyung.” he rephrases, sounding more confident towards the end of his sentence.
Jungkook smiles. Proud. “Have fun and call me if you need anything.” he says. “Be safe, alright?”
“I will. Bye, hyung.” Jungkook bids his goodbyes as well before ending the call and putting his
phone back in his pocket, heading towards the living room where his best friends remain waiting.
“So, guys, as I was saying—”
“Was that Taehyung?” Seokjin asks.
“Yes, he was just telling me that he won’t be home when I arrive, since I’m going out with Yun for
dinner, we won’t cross paths.” he lets it out without even realizing, feet halting on their way to the
couch. He didn’t plan that at all.
“Wait, what? Pause, what the fuck— Who’s Yun?” Yoongi interrupts, eyes wide and mouth open
in surprise. “What have you been hiding from us?!”
Jungkook sits down with a huff. “I didn’t want to say anything sooner since it’s very recent, but
she’s basically my girlfriend, I think—? Not officially, but yeah, I just haven’t dropped the
question yet.” they both choke on their breaths, positively surprised by the news.
“She’s your what now?! Elaborate on that.”
“Uh, okay…” he scratches the back of his neck. “A while ago, I went to a club with Yugyeom and
I met her there. We ended up hooking up, but I left in the middle of the night, so we didn’t really…
exchange numbers or anything.”
“First of all, asshole move.” Yoongi points out. Jungkook refuses to explain why he left, he’d have
to tell them about the nightmares and he’d rather not go into that. “But if you left, then how did you
get to the point of her being your girlfriend?”
“She’s not my girlfriend yet…” Jungkook reminds. “To put it short, she went to the coffee shop on
my first day, which really seemed like some destiny type shit, so went on a date and now we’re
here.” he explains as fast and briefly as he can.
“What does Taehyung think of that?” Seokjin asks, nonchalant. “As your therapist.”
“He thinks that it’s good for me, to have someone who I’m intimate with in that way. Mainly
because he believes that I will end up opening up to her… which I don’t really see happening.”
Jungkook sighs. “I don’t know, we’re still getting to know each other.”
“If you can’t be open with your partner, it won’t—”
“It won’t last, I know, I know.” he interrupts with a dismissive wave of the hand. He’s aware of the
implications. “But it’s not just about that; I’m dating after a whole decade, I’m finally allowing
myself to care and trust someone to this level, so I’d say that it’s a good thing.”
“It is, yes.” Yoongi agrees. “I hope that you’re able to confide in her as you grow closer.”
“She’s really sweet, so… I may.”
“Tell us more, though, how does she look?”
“Uhm…”
│►
“I don’t remember the last time that we’ve done this.” Jimin says, voice loud to be heard over the
music, one hand holding onto Hoseok’s forearm while the other intertwines with Taehyung’s. “I
don’t think that we’ve been to a club ever since you met Hyungsik…”
“I don’t think so, either.” Taehyung says with a little forced smile. “Let’s get some drinks and
forget about that person, yeah? We’re here to have some fun.”
“Shall we get drunk tonight or do any of you have something to do tomorrow?” Hoseok asks as he
leads them towards the bar. “I haven’t gotten pissed drunk since college days.” he goes on with a
small laugh of his own, accompanied by the other two.
“I can’t show up drunk to the apartment.” Taehyung quickly says. “Jungkook and I have a policy
against drinks now, so I can only have one or two. Three would already be a push.”
“Boring.” the couple says at the same time. “We could call him to join and drink some—”
“No.” Taehyung immediately interrupts. “We’re not going to do that.” his two best friends turn
back to give him a confused look that Taehyung positively ignores. They don’t have to know why,
they don’t have to know anything, really. “Can you get me black vodka with some orange soda?”
“Yes… sure.” Hoseok nods. “Vodka with coke for you, right, Jiminie?”
“Yes, please.” Jimin pouts, throwing him a little kiss before Hoseok disappears through the crowd.
“Since we’re the ones taking you home, please tell us if you’re not having a good time and we’ll
leave, ok? Don’t hesitate to ask.”
“Yeah, don’t worry.” Taehyung smiles. “We should go dance once he returns.” he says, trying to
ease the mood as it still feels a little heavy after Hyungsik’s mention. Just his name alone is enough
to ruin the mood. Jimin hums at the suggestion, appreciative.
“I love this song, we should just go now.” he chuckles, already moving his hips from side to side.
“We may not get drunk, but we’ll most certainly have fun tonight.” Jimin says as he grabs
Taehyung’s hands, encouraging him to dance just as enthusiastically — he decides then that he
doesn’t want to wait for his fiancé.
And they do have fun, the three of them dancing for hours, one drink after the other, even if
Taehyung stops after the third cup. He’s had enough, he knows that much. If he doesn’t want
Jungkook to drink, he won’t do it either, he would never forgive himself if he showed up drunk to
their shared apartment.
Taehyung has fun on his own, even when both of his friends disappear — most likely in the
bathroom, if he were to guess. It’s ok, though, because Taehyung doesn’t mind dancing with a
couple of strangers and sitting by himself for a while if that means that they also have their alone
time.
He giggles as a girl apologizes after tripping over his feet, telling her just about ten times that it’s
ok and that she doesn’t have to worry. He sits back on a stool, looking down at his wristwatch. It’s
little past one in the morning and it has his eyes widening in shock. He thought that it’d be three or
four already.
He stops mumbling the words to the song playing once he sees someone new sitting on a nearby
stool and his blood cools down at the familiar face. That’s one of Hyungsik’s best friends. One of
the very few that he met, so he recognizes his face.
The man is sitting alone, checking his phone. Waiting for someone. Taehyung’s heartbeat
quickens. He may be waiting for Hyungsik, for all that Taehyung knows. They’re very close, so
it’s possible.
Taehyung gets up from his stool when their eyes meet, which means that the man saw him. He
doesn’t feel comfortable anymore and he doesn’t even realize that his hands are shaking until he
grabs his phone to call Jimin. He wants to leave.
Fast.
│►
Yun giggles as Jungkook presses a kiss to her neck, goosebumps crawling up her spine. “Your lips
are soft.” she comments, legs circling his body in order to keep him close, their hips consequently
being pressed together.
“Are they now?” he hums behind her ear before kissing it, his tongue darting out to lick from there
to her collarbone. They’re already void of clothing, skin against skin, the only thing left being
Jungkook’s underwear.
Though that soon disappears once Yun gets her hands on it, throwing the piece of clothing
somewhere to be found later. Jungkook reaches for his drawer, pulling out both a normal condom
and a cherry flavored one. He shows her both of them and the young woman bites down on her
bottom lip while grabbing the flavored one.
“I want to taste th—” she starts, voice low and seductive, only to be interrupted by Jungkook’s
phone. She grabs onto both of his biceps, legs closing even harder around him. “Ignore it.”
“What if it’s important?” Jungkook doesn’t pull away, just stretches his arm to grab the phone from
the nightstand, picking up without even checking the caller. He bends down to kiss Yun’s pouty
lips once she frowns. “Hey?” he speaks into the phone, all the while allowing her to guide his head
lower.
“I’m scared.” he does pull away then, his lips no longer kissing down Yun’s stomach and heading
south. “I-I think that Sik may be coming here and— and I don’t want to see him, especially not at a
club— I had some drinks too, so I’m just— I don’t know where Jimin is, he’s not picking up my
calls and I’m probably going to have a panic attack if I don’t leave right now.”
“Hey, hey, it’s fine, tell me where you are, I’ll get there in a second.” Jungkook says as he gets up
from the bed, already searching for his underwear again to get dressed.
“Where are you going?” Yun asks, sitting up. Jungkook covers the microphone to whisper a faint
‘Taehyung’ that has her scoffing. “Of course.” she rolls her eyes, watching as he gets dressed way
quicker than they discarded those pieces.
“Yes, yes, I’m still here.” Jungkook says. “I’m getting dressed, send me the location and I’ll pick
you up, alright?” he waits until Taehyung agrees before ending the call. “I’m sorry, baby, I have to
go pick him up. We can schedule something—”
“Are you seriously leaving?” Jungkook stops tying his shoe to look up, confused. “I can’t believe
that you’re leaving me like this, what the hell, Jungkook.” she covers her naked chest with the
sheets, feeling way too exposed all of a sudden.
“You can’t possibly be making this about yourself…” he stops to chuckle. “Yun, c’mon, we’re
grown-ups, you know that some things are more important than sex, don’t you?” Jungkook tries to
keep his tone the same, voice going just the slightest sterner.
“You’re just being an asshole now.” Yun rolls her eyes, missing the way that Jungkook’s jaw falls,
his eyebrows coming together in disapproval. “I was so ready to—”
“To me, my best friend being safe matters more than getting my dick sucked. So yes, I’m fucking
leaving right now. You know your way out. I’ll text you tomorrow.” Jungkook says, voice a little
louder now. His hand is mean on the way that it closes the door, the sound perhaps a little too loud
for that time in the middle of the night but he doesn’t care. He’s angry. Rightfully so.
“I’ll be right back.” he does manage to smile at the dog that greets him, petting her twice before
getting both the house keys and Taehyung’s car keys. He just hopes to get there before anything
can happen.
His feet stop as soon as he steps outside, looking back at the now closed door. He knows that he
was a little too harsh with her, he didn’t mean to sound angry, he didn’t mean to slam the door. He
didn’t mean to leave her like that, especially when they were having a good time.
But Taehyung comes first, his best friend. And Taehyung may not be safe. So, he sighs, picking up
his pace right back. He’ll worry about Yun being mad some other time. Perhaps, tomorrow.
│►
“Come here.” Jungkook leads the younger into the kitchen, helping Taehyung to sit on the counter
before turning away to fill up a glass with water. “We’re home now, do you want to talk about it?
You haven’t said a word yet.” he asks, voice careful as always; soft. Taehyung just takes the glass
without saying anything, visibly shaken up. “Or we can just stay here for a little, it’s ok either
way.” Jungkook reassures. “We don’t have to talk.”
“I just—” he whispers, stopping right away. Jungkook places himself between his legs, not too
close, but close enough to brush Taehyung’s bangs away from his forehead. “I thought that
Hyungsik would appear. I don’t know what happened, my mind just— I didn’t want to see him and
— and I started getting really panicked and— he— I—”
“Hey, it’s ok, you’re home now, I’m here, ok?” Jungkook interrupts him as soon as Taehyung’s
breathing starts picking up. “Drink your water and breathe for me, alright?” the blonde nods, taking
the cup to his lips. “It’s ok. I’m here.” Jungkook whispers. “Hyung’s here. Hyung’s here.”
Taehyung closes his eyes to try to even out his breathing, relying on the reassuring hand on the side
of his thigh. He still holds the cup with both his hands, bottom lip wobbling from time to time. Not
that Jungkook is looking.
Jungkook looks past him once some movement catches the corner of his eye, Yun standing by the
door wearing nothing but one of his white button ups, half of the buttons not even done.
Jungkook’s face turns into a scowl. “You here?” he asks, sounding perhaps a little meaner than he
intended to.
Taehyung looks at him, confused, before following Jungkook’s eyes. “Oh. Hi.”
“Hey, Taehyung.” she waves, a smile on her face. “I was waiting for you, Jungkookie. It’s late, I
don’t like driving at night…!” she pouts, leaning on the doorframe. “Can’t I spend the night here
with you?”
Jungkook opens his mouth, ready to offer to drive her, when Taehyung interrupts. “You can stay,
I’ll take the couch.” he says, voice wavering. Jungkook immediately looks back to him.
Questioning. “It’s ok.” Taehyung whispers only for him to hear. “Thank you for the water, I’ll just
go lay down.” he sniffs, giving Jungkook the glass back so that he can stand up.
“Lead the way, angel. I’ll meet you in a second, alright?” Jungkook says, voice back to soft, a
careful hand holding onto his forearm, but loose enough to be comfortable. He doesn’t want to
crowd him, overwhelm him. “I’ll get you Simba, too.” that does make Taehyung smile.
They’re all silent as Taehyung walks away, giving Yun a little smile before disappearing. “You
call him angel?” she asks right away. Jungkook sighs, stepping closer. He doesn’t want Taehyung
to hear.
“Listen, you can stay if that’s what you want, and I’ll be happy if you do, you can spend the night,
but Taehyung needs me right now and I’m sorry, but he will never not be my priority. I’m going to
stay with him until I know that he’s sleeping. You can head to bed, if you’d like, but you staying
won’t make me not take care of him.” Yun stares back, silent, slowly processing the words. They
leave a bitter taste; she doesn’t really enjoy it. “Or I can drive you home, whatever you prefer.”
“Can I wait for you in bed?”
“Yeah, I won’t be long.” she steps closer with a smile, pressing their lips together. It’s short,
Jungkook doesn’t really have the time to kiss back once her lips are gone almost as soon as he feels
them. It’s ok, though, he must go to Taehyung anyways.
He starts to feel like he’s an actual asshole.
Maybe he’s just not good for a relationship at all.
He sighs, and he does ignore the wink that she sends his way so that he can go to the living room.
Taehyung has sat on the couch, already with his pajama pants on, but he’s staring down at the silky
button-up shirt, seemingly deep in thought. He’s still wearing the shirt that he went to the club
with.
“Hey.” Jungkook speaks, low. “Are you ok?” he asks with a careful smile, sitting down next to the
younger man that just stares back at him with a conflicted expression. “You don’t have to talk, I
can tell that you’re shaken up. And you’re a bit drunk, I can see it in your eyes, let’s just get you
sleeping, alright?” he encourages, but the blonde doesn’t really move, so Jungkook drags himself
closer, offering his hand so that Taehyung can hand him the shirt instead.
It’s a silent request that he’s fifty percent sure that Taehyung will reject. It’s a little too personal,
after all. However, he doesn’t deny it. Jungkook unbuttons the pajama shirt, turning to the blonde
once again. He reaches for the hem of his shirt, looking directly into his eyes. “Can I?” Taehyung
nods, lifting his arms to cooperate.
Jungkook does his best to look away, as respectful as possible. He helps Taehyung into the pajama
shirt, fingers a little shaky as he begins buttoning it up. He can see the softness of Taehyung’s skin,
can feel it under his fingertips every time that he accidentally touches it while grabbing a button.
Taehyung’s skin is sun kissed, like pure gold; tan and smooth.
He looks back into his eyes once he’s done, smiling at him. “All done.” Jungkook whispers. “Lay
back down, I’ll sit here for a little bit.” he says as he gets up, grabbing the blankets that Taehyung
brought from the bedroom alongside his pajamas.
“Your girlfriend is here, you can go, I’ll be ok…” but Jungkook can hear it in his voice, how he’s
not being completely honest. They rely on each other; they make each other feel better. So
Jungkook knows that his presence alone will make Taehyung feel better. He’d feel the same way if
the roles were reversed, and he’d appreciate if Taehyung stayed.
“She doesn’t mind waiting for a little bit. C’mon, lay down.” Taehyung does, allowing Jungkook to
tuck him in before sitting down on the floor. He lifts up a hand, his fingers slowly threading
through the silky blonde hair in an attempt to relax him enough for him to sleep.
“Thank you for driving all the way there to get me.” he whispers all of a sudden, getting no reply
other than Jungkook’s lips on the bridge of his nose, followed by a small chuckle.
“That was meant to be on your forehead, I’m sorry.” Taehyung smiles at that, closing his eyes.
“I’m here, angel, just close your eyes and focus on my hand, I know that you like getting your hair
played with.” Jungkook whispers. “You did great, calling me, you’re all good now, you’ll feel
better in the morning, I promise.”
He continues playing with the blonde locks, relying on the way that Taehyung’s breathing gets
slower and slower, until he’s able to hear just the faintest of the snores. The younger sleeps with a
little pout and it makes Jungkook smile, touching it with the tip of his finger.
Taehyung’s lips feel soft. Really soft.
“Sleep well.” Jungkook kisses his forehead before getting up. Part of him really wants to lay down
and cuddle, make sure that Taehyung has a good night of sleep, but his girlfriend is waiting and
he’s messed up enough. He’s been rude enough, and he has to make things right.
│►
It’s around six in the morning, with the sun starting to peek through the curtains, that Yun wakes
up with low hums and limbs hitting her under the covers. She can tell that something’s wrong right
away, but it takes her sleepy brain a couple of seconds to catch up.
She turns around to see Jungkook thrashing in bed, his head rolling from side to side as he
mumbles incoherent words. They’re impossible to understand, except for his futile calls for
Taehyung — Taehyung, who’s still sleeping on the couch.
“Taehyung…” Jungkook calls again as a tear rolls down his cheek, falling into the pillow.
Yun sits up, shaking him by the shoulder. “Jungkookie.” she says. “Wake up.” she shakes him
again, this time harder, watching as his eyes open all at once, horror filling them for a few seconds
before he seems to focus on the ceiling, sniffing. “Are you alright…?”
Jungkook gapes, thinking of what to say, but ends up remaining silent when he feels a tissue being
dragged under his eyes carefully, the action repeating itself on his forehead to wipe away all the
sweat and tears. “Thank you…” he whispers.
“Are your nightmares always this bad?” she asks. Jungkook only nods, because how can he explain
that they can be so much worse? “Oh…” Yun looks down with a little sigh and Jungkook allows
her to cuddle back against his side, now with a hand playing with his hair.
She doesn’t really like the length of it. She doesn’t comment on it, though.
But it doesn’t feel the same; the hand playing with his hair. It doesn’t comfort him the same way.
It doesn’t get his eyes to close, his breathing to slow down. “What did you dream of?” Jungkook
doesn’t even open his mouth to answer. “You kept calling after Taehyung, do you want me to go
get him? You look terrified, I’m worried…”
“No.” he quickly says. “He had enough shit tonight.” Jungkook sighs, looking back at her, who
places a hand on his cheek to wipe away a new fallen tear with her thumb. “I’m sorry for waking
you up, I really can’t control these dreams…”
“It’s fine.” she shrugs. “I want to apologize for the way that I acted yesterday, I should’ve left
when you told me to, I didn’t know that Taehyung actually needed you that much. I just thought—
Well, whatever, I just wanted to be with you. I enjoy your company.” Yun pouts, her nose almost
touching Jungkook’s.
“I enjoy yours too.” he smiles, weak. “I’m sorry for the way that I talked to you, I was just
stressed. The thought of Taehyung not being ok makes me feel really stressed, I had to make sure
that he was safe and at home… that’s why I was so— mean, I guess. I’m sorry.” Jungkook
explains. “He means everything to me.” Yun tries not to frown at that.
“I hope that you talk like this about me, too.” Jungkook chuckles. He just chuckles, but his finger
touches the tip of her nose, making her smile.
“You should sleep.” not really the answer that she was looking for, but the little kiss pressed to her
lips makes up for it. “I’ll stay up, but I won’t leave the bed, so you can sleep until the morning
comes and I’ll be right next to you.”
“If you’re not sleeping then I’ll stay up with you.” she smiles, pecking his lips again. “We can talk
for a little, if you’d like, it will probably make you forget your dream.”
“Yeah.” he swallows, dry. “Of course.” he wishes that he could just grab the bottle hidden in the
kitchen, he could take the moment since Taehyung is sleeping. Yun’s there, however, and he
doesn’t really want comments. He doesn’t even want her to know.
He was supposed to stop.
“What’s your last name?” Yun asks as they turn to face each other. “I don’t know you nearly
enough… tell me a little about yourself — your favorite color, what your hobbies are, those
things… I want to know everything about you.” she reaches for his hands, loosely holding them.
“Well… my name is Jeon Jungkook, my favorite color is black, I’m twenty-eight, I don’t have
hobbies apart from just hanging out with my friends or going for walks with Moon… I work at the
coffee shop and uh, that’s it. Your turn.”
“You didn’t tell me anything…!” she frowns. “But alright, I’m Min Yun, twenty-one, my favorite
color is red, I love going to the movies and shopping, I love going to the beach. I have a brother
and a sister, my parents have a restaurant where we should definitely go to, they’d like to meet you
— yes, I told them about you. Hm, what else… I think that this could be it for now.”
“We can go to the restaurant, just maybe uh, not now…? Wouldn’t it be too soon? How would you
even introduce me?”
“I’d say that you’re my boyfriend.” she shrugs. “How are you feeling after that nightmare? Are you
feeling better now?”
“I’m alright now…” Jungkook nods, leaning closer until he’s hovering over her, bending down to
kiss her. “I still feel bad for the way that I treated you last night, I was just so stressed and
worried.” he whispers against her lips, eyes glued to hers. “I was a dick.”
“It’s alright.” Yun shows him a smile, legs parting to welcome him between them. “You were
worried and I went against what you asked me to do, so I understand, don’t worry about it.”
“How can I make it up to you?” Jungkook asks innocently, but his eyes can’t lie and Yun can see
right through his act. He chuckles when she pushes his head down and lower with a challenging
look in her eyes. “That’s a good pick, actually.”
“Make me cry and you’re automatically forgiven.”
“Just— Keep it down, it’s early as fuck and Tae’s sleeping.”
“I’ll try.” she smiles. “It’s hard to be quiet with you, but I’ll try.” Jungkook smirks as he disappears
under the covers. He’s still a little lazy from sleep and his heart is still pounding because of the
nightmare, but at least he won’t have to keep talking or answering questions; he really doesn’t like
talking about himself. It’s far too uncomfortable.
And they’ll both have a good time. He has to make up for the previous night.
│►
Chapter End Notes
I loved the comments on the previous chapter ))): I'm so happy that you guys are
enjoying this!
◄│ 44 │►
Chapter Notes
I'm so curious to see what you guys will have to say about this one hehhe
Jungkook flips yet another pancake, smiling to himself once it lands perfectly. He’s getting better
at the whole breakfast cooking assignment. He’s startled when a pair of arms winds around his
waist, though he smiles immediately, relaxing into it. “Morning, Tae.” he greets, and the arms
disappear.
“Really?” he hears her voice and turns around, eyes wide, staring at her frowning expression. “Is
this how it feels to be called someone else’s name?”
“No— Babe, I’m sorry.” Jungkook laughs, grabbing her hands to pull her closer. “Don’t frown, I’m
just not used to having someone else over, it’s always just Taehyung and I. I’m still sleepy, I wasn’t
thinking. I’m sorry.” he pouts, as he knows how convincing it can be.
“Don’t try to sway me with that cute pout, I’m still offended.” Jungkook frowns instead. “You
make me want to kiss you like that— Stop.” she giggles, pushing him away with no strength.
Jungkook doesn’t even budge. “No kissing before teeth brushing!”
“I’m glad that we can agree on that.” he nods. “I’ll just—” Jungkook takes a step closer, pressing
his lips against her forehead. Twice. Yun smiles. “Now, would you mind waking Taehyung up? I
made breakfast.”
“Sure.” Yun offers a little smile, hand lightly slapping Jungkook’s butt once he turns back to the
stove to finish up the pancakes. He raises an eyebrow. “I’ll be right back, handsome.” she informs
before skipping out of the kitchen, tying up her hair messily.
Yun spots the younger man lying on the couch, Simba resting on his stomach, and approaches him,
bending down to be closer. With a hesitant hand, she shakes him by the shoulder.
It takes only a few tries to get Taehyung to open his eyes, confusedly staring up at her.
“Jungkookie asked me to wake you up. He made breakfast for the three of us.”
“Oh.” he nods, sitting up. “Of course— Morning, Yun.” Taehyung manages a sleepy smile, putting
Simba aside. “I didn’t know that you were here.”
“But we talked yesterday…?” she furrows her brows, confused. “How can you not remember?”
“My head wasn’t in the right place last night… I have no recollection of us talking.” Taehyung
sighs. “I’m sorry if I disturbed your time with him last night, I truly didn’t mean to. I apologize.”
Yun nods, unsure of what to say. “It’s fine. He came back, so…” a shrug.
Taehyung smiles, eyeing the door to make sure that they’re still alone. “Did Jungkook sleep well?
Did he have a peaceful night?” he asks, tone a little quieter now, as he doesn’t want the elder to
hear him asking such a thing.
“He had a nightmare…” Yun admits. “It was ok, though. As his girlfriend, I just eased him back to
sleep.” she says with a big smile, the lie coming out naturally and easily.
“That’s amazing, really.” and, well, that’s not the answer that she was expecting. “I’m glad that
you were able to help him sleep, he needs to relax way more than what he does… Both physically
and mentally.” Taehyung says as he gets up, stretching. “Thank you for comforting your boyfriend.
Now, we should join him. He’s waiting.” he gestures.
“Yes, we should.” Yun nods, leading the way to the kitchen with Taehyung trailing right after her.
Jungkook has already set up the table, and he’s just finishing adding syrup and chocolate chips to
his and Taehyung’s pancakes. “We’re here.” she greets.
“Hey.” Jungkook smiles. “I didn’t add anything to your pancakes because I don’t really know how
you like them, so I left them for you to decide.” he explains as he sits down, motioning towards her
plate.
“I like eating them just like that, so they’re perfect already.” she shrugs, sitting by his side. “Do
you two have work today?”
“I do.” Taehyung sighs. He’s not in the greatest mood, and he doesn’t believe that he’ll be doing a
great job when he’s still not in the best state of mind, but he can’t just miss work like that.
“I do, too. I’d drop you off at your place, but you brought your car.” Jungkook says as he takes a
sip from his coffee; it’s weird to have it simple, not a single drop of whiskey. “You’re home today,
aren’t you? I’d swear that it’s your day off…”
“It is, yes.” Yun nods. She opens her mouth, set on inviting Jungkook to go over after clocking off
from work, but she’s not fast enough; Jungkook beats her to it.
“Shouldn’t you stay back home, Tae?” the elder asks, looking back to his best friend. Taehyung
gives him a puzzled look. “You had a really tough night, and I can tell that you’re still shaken up…
I believe that you should stay here, you shouldn’t have to work and deal with other people’s shit
today.” his voice sounds incredibly soft, softer than Yun has ever heard it sound.
She looks down.
“I have people counting on me, I can’t just not show up. I’m alright, I promise.” Jungkook tilts his
head, hesitating. “I’m serious. I’m feeling way better today, please don’t worry about it.”
“Okay… I’ll take your word for it.” he smiles before taking another sip from his coffee. “Are the
pancakes alright, babe?”
“Yeah.” Taehyung and Yun say at the same time; their eyes meet, wide.
“Uhm, now that’s—” Jungkook cuts himself off, pulling at his, all of a sudden, too tight collar.
“Awkward…” Taehyung whispers to himself, looking back down at his plate as Yun’s eyes
continue burning holes into the side of his face. He can feel the heat of the stare, so he does his
best not to meet it. He’s so used to Jungkook’s endearing names, that he can’t tell whether he spoke
when he shouldn’t, or if the question was indeed directed at him.
“Anyway.” Jungkook clears his throat. He must come up with something. Quickly.
│►
“Hm…” Eunjae stops to think. “Never have I ever passed out drunk at a party. Like, completely
passed out, to that point where you didn’t remember anything the next day.” she elaborates.
Jungkook snorts. “Absolutely, multiple times.” he shrugs. “Haven’t we all, though?”
“Oh.” his coworker raises an eyebrow. “I asked that to make fun of you for being so serious all the
time, I didn’t think that you’d say yes. You can be fun? How shocking.” she teases.
“You’re so mean.” Jungkook frowns. “You already make fun of me for being old in comparison to
you, now don’t call me old and boring, that’s just fucking depressing.” Eunjae throws her head
back in laughter, and he has to bite back his own smile.
“Fine, fine. I’ll do a better one, let me think.” she holds a hand out to ask for silence, both of them
leaning forward on the counter; bored with nothing to do. “Oh, I got it. Never have I ever been in
love with an angel.”
“What kind of— Angels don’t exist.” he states the obvious.
“Excuse you? Are you denying Taehyung’s existence when I’ve seen him with my very own
eyes?” she tries to remain serious, but can’t hold herself from snorting when the elder groans and
looks away. “Are you blushing? You totally are.”
“Will you ever let that one go?” he complains, not really processing her implication. “But the
answer is no, I’ve never been in love with— well, anyone.” Jungkook watches as her eyebrows
shoot up, eyes widening significantly, surprised. “What?”
“You’ve never— Really? No one?” Jungkook just shakes his head. “But you’re like… forty-seven,
how come you’ve never dated?”
“I did date before. I dated a dude when I was eighteen, then I never dated again, so there was never
the… well, the opportunity to fall in love. I’m kind of dating Yun now, but I feel like our
relationship isn’t going to last if we continue the way that we are, so… I’m losing hope. I’ll very
much likely die alone.” Jungkook shares, chuckling humorlessly.
“You don’t think that your relationship is working out?”
“I think that we’re looking for different things.” he sighs. “I may be wrong, we have really good
moments where I’m happy with her, and I enjoy it so much, but then… there are also moments
where I have no fucking idea of what I’m doing or of where I’m going with this. I like her, she’s a
nice girl, and I’m trying to make this work, but— I don’t know…”
“If you’re unsure or feeling uncertain, then…” Eunjae looks away, puckering her lips. She doesn’t
really know what to say to help, and she can tell by his tone that he’s also not that willing to
continue the conversation, so she goes with the easiest route, “Give her my number if you two
break up.” she smiles.
Jungkook blinks. “I’m not giving my girlfriend your number. She’s straight, to begin with.”
“Well, I tried.” she shrugs. “Can I join you guys, though? Like, just once. It’s a reasonable request,
you two should really give that a thought before you answer.”
“Join us?” Eunjae remains silent, staring right at him, and it hits him. “Absolutely not. In my eyes,
you’re a kid, and it’s wrong to even consider such a thing. It’s a very easy no, and don’t bring that
up ever again. No. Just no.”
“You’re boring.”
Jungkook rolls his eyes. “Have you ever had a threesome?”
“No…”
“They’re not as good as people make them out to be.” Eunjae gasps, turning to him with a thousand
questions under her tongue and ready to spill, but Jungkook beats her to it once he spots their boss’
car through the large window. “There’s Seojoon’s car, pretend to do something.” he motions,
hurrying to find a rag to wipe at the counter.
Eunjae quickly starts fixing the mugs and small plates, though they were already neatly stored.
They both giggle. “We’ll get fired someday.”
│►
“Hey!” Jungkook stops when he hears Eunjae calling after him. “Did you drive here?” she asks,
pointing at the car that Jungkook was just about to open. “I didn’t know about you having a car,
you’ve never driven here before.”
“It’s Taehyung’s, not mine. He told me to bring it today, and I’ll pick him up from work on the
way home.” he shrugs. “I can give you a ride, if you’d like.”
Eunjae raises an eyebrow. “You riding me?”
“You can walk home.” he points with an accusing finger, getting in the car without even waiting
for her answer. His coworker laughs while running around the vehicle, and she takes the passenger
seat with no hesitation. “Get off.” Jungkook jokes.
“I’m already here.” Eunjae shows him her tongue, fastening her seatbelt. “You’re the best, dude, I
can’t believe that I won’t have to walk home, my feet start hurting halfway through our shift.”
“I’m the best because I can drive you home?”
“Duh, yes. Why else? It’s not like you’re nice to me and all.” Eunjae jokes. “I don’t see any other
reason as to why you’d be the best.”
“You’re a fucking bully, I swear.” he tsks. “Just give me the directions to your place before I tell
you to leave.” Eunjae locks her door, a clear indicator that she won’t be going anywhere.
“Straight ahead.” she points to the main road. He doesn’t even drive for two full minutes before she
directs him to pull over in front of a building, and he thinks that she may have forgotten something,
but no; it’s where she lives.
“Are you serious?” he asks, incredulous. “You complain about walking for a tiny ass block?”
“I have sensitive feet.” Eunjae laughs, unbuckling her seatbelt. “Thank you for driving me, I’ll
keep you in my prayers tonight before bed.” she says as she leans in to kiss his cheek, afore leaving
the car. “See you tomorrow!” she waves.
Jungkook takes two seconds too long to process the little kiss, but it then makes him smile. He
hasn’t had a friendship with a female past high school, and it feels nice. “See you.” he waves back.
His coworker closes the door before rushing inside of her building, and he waits until she’s safely
inside before driving away.
He can only hope that no police car drives past him as he sneakily dials his best friend’s number.
Taehyung picks up after only two beeps. “Hey, hyungie.” he greets. “I know that you’re coming to
pick me up, but you don’t have to. I was about to call you… I have a meeting right now, I just
completely forgot about it.” he explains in a rush. “Hadn’t it been Namjoon, I would’ve left.”
“Oh, alright. I’ll leave the car there, and leave the keys with the lady at the front desk.”
“No, no. I’ll walk home or just call an Uber, please keep the car.” Taehyung immediately
disagrees. “I might ask Namjoon for a ride, I’ll be fine, take the car home.”
“Are you sure…?”
“Very sure.” he assures.
“Okay, then. Call me if you need me to pick you up, I’ll go get you.” Jungkook offers.
“Will do, hyung.” he can hear the smile in his voice. “I’ll see you later.”
“See you, love.”
│►
“Taehyung.” said male looks up from his bag where he’s looking for the keys, his eyes widening
once he sees who’s standing just a few meters away from him. “I’m here to talk to you.” Hyungsik
informs with a smile, walking closer to him. His tone sounds soft, softer than Taehyung has ever
heard it sound, and it’s weird; it doesn’t seem like Hyungsik at all. He’s never sounded this nice,
this careful.
“I’m afraid I don’t want to talk to you, though…” Taehyung steps back. “I need to get— I need to
go home, Jungkook hyung is waiting for me.” he excuses, gesturing towards the building. “We—”
“It’ll be fast.” Hyungsik insists. Taehyung stops in his tracks, unsure of what to do next. “I’m
feeling quite fucking lost right now, Taehyung.” he starts. “I lost my job, I’m completely alone, and
I don’t have you there. I have no fucking clue of what to do, the apartment is a mess, I can’t afford
to waste so much money ordering food, so I have to fucking cook it myself… I need you, I want
you back.” the man says with a forced smile. “My friend told me that he saw you yesterday at the
bar… I took it as a sign to come here. You need to come back to the apartment; with me.”
“But—” Taehyung gulps, shakes his head. “No, you don’t need me, you just wanted me for— Stop
doing this to me, Sik, please.” he takes a step back, away from him. “Stop following me, stop
thinking about me, don’t ever come back. I’m doing so much better right now, I deserve better than
the way that you treated me. I know better now. Jungkook helped me realize a lot of things, and I
know that I’m worthy of respect and—”
“Have dinner with me. I changed, Taehyung. I want to change things, I want to be better for you.
You know that I can treat you right.” Hyungsik steps closer, reaching for Taehyung’s forearm. His
eyes may be soft, but the hand isn’t; his fingers are mean, they press too hard, and it’s
uncomfortable. Taehyung wants to run away.
He can tell from the grip and Hyungsik’s posture that he won’t be getting away from there anytime
soon. So, panicked, he blurts out a yes. “I’ll go.” he says. He just wants to leave, and he’s too
nervous to say no, as he can’t even guess what the reaction to that would be like.
“That’s what I wanted to hear.” Hyungsik smiles. “I’ll send you a text of where and when to meet
me. You’ll be there, right? You know how much I love you.” that phrase. Taehyung remembers
how much it used to relax him, how much it used to blind him. Now, on the other hand, he can see
just how manipulative it is.
“Yes, okay. I’ll be there, of course.” he nods, frantic. “I-I really need to go now, though. I’ll wait
for your text.” the blonde rushes to say as he frees his arm, and he quickly unlocks the door to the
building. He runs up the stairs, trips a handful of times. He just wants to be as far away from the
entrance as possible.
His breathing speeds up once he sees himself inside of his apartment, hands shaking by his sides,
and back resting against the door. He can’t even breathe just thinking of what he just got himself
into. He doesn’t want to go. He doesn’t want to go anywhere with Hyungsik.
Jungkook peeks into the living room, confused as to why Taehyung didn’t say anything when he
arrived, and his eyes widen impossibly more once he sees the younger’s state. “Tae— Baby,
what’s wrong?” he asks as he jogs over. “What happened?!”
“Sik—” Taehyung tries, letting himself fall to the floor, kneeling down with a hand on his chest. “I
think that I’m— I’m having a panic attack.” Jungkook blinks; yeah, he can tell that much.
The elder kneels down as well, placing both of his hands on Taehyung’s cheeks. His eyes are red
and Jungkook can tell that he’s about to cry. “Don’t think about Hyungsik right now, focus on
breathing, focus on something else. Breathe for me, c’mon.” Jungkook instructs. “In and out. Very
slowly. We have all the time in the world.”
Taehyung closes his eyes, trying to do as told, but it seems impossible: he can’t breathe, and he
can’t calm his chest down. “I can’t— Hyung, I can’t.” he cries, desperate.
“Think of something else.” Jungkook still tries, eyebrows furrowed in worry. Taehyung’s breathing
isn’t slowing down by any means, and he doesn’t know what to do or say to help. He feels useless.
He can’t help.
“Hyung—” Taehyung cries again, chest heaving. He can’t think of anything other than Hyungsik
and the fact that he said yes, and the hand on his forearm, and the fact that he’ll have to go, and the
fact that his ex-fiancé keeps showing up, and the fact that—
Everything fades at once when he feels something soft and delicate on his lips. Really, really soft.
And then he can’t think of anything but the hands on his cheeks, the thumbs caressing the skin
ever so slowly. So, so gentle.
The lips pressed against his move carefully, experimentally, almost afraid of hurting him.
Jungkook kisses him as tenderly as he can. He pulls away for a second, only to join their lips again
at a better angle. It’s not hard, it’s not heated. It’s just gentle, warm, and reassuring. Relaxing.
He makes sure that Taehyung knows that he’s there, that everything will be ok as long as he’s
there. He kisses like he wants Taehyung to know that he’s safe there, with him, cheeks held in his
palms. He’s safe, he’ll always be safe with Jungkook.
The elder only pulls away, slowly, when he’s sure that Taehyung’s breathing rate has evened out,
and that he’s managed to relax. Their eyes open, inspecting each other for any sort of reaction.
“Can— Can you breathe now?” he whispers against Taehyung’s lips, and the younger man nods
ever so slowly, still in shock as he stares into Jungkook’s reassuring eyes.
“Yeah.” he whispers.
They keep staring back and forth between each other’s eyes and lips, the pattern only broken when
Taehyung’s phone lights up with a text. Jungkook can catch the name on the screen, and his
eyebrows furrow in anger. “Why is he texting you? What happened with him for you to be like
that?”
“H-He was downstairs when I arrived, and he basically forced me to say yes to having dinner with
him.” Jungkook blinks, surprised. “I don’t want to go, hyung. Please, I don’t want to go.” he cries,
his voice coming out thin and terrified.
Jungkook quickly holds his hands, unwilling to let him start hyperventilating again — he just
wants Taehyung safe, nothing more. “I’ll go.” he informs, with no hesitation. “Set up the dinner
with him, but you stay home, and I’ll go meet the motherf—”
“He may hurt you, Koo…”
“I can handle him, that’s the last thing that I’m worried about.” Jungkook reassures. “Are you ok,
though? Did he hurt you?” he asks as he carefully tilts Taehyung’s head back by the chin, so that
he can inspect his face for bruises; there are none, but still. “Tell me, did he lay his hands on you
again?”
“No, he didn’t hurt me.” Taehyung sniffs. “I don’t want to be anywhere near him, hyung…”
“You won’t have to.” he assures. “I’ll go instead, you’ll be ok.”
The younger man gulps with a little nod. “Thank you so much. Can you please hug me…?” as soon
as the words leave Taehyung’s mouth, a pair of arms swiftly wraps around him, and he rests his
head against Jungkook’s broad and strong chest. “I’m scared of him.” he admits.
“I know, baby.” Jungkook whispers, his eyes closed as he rocks his best friend back and forth in
his arms. “I know…” Taehyung sniffs, body starting to shake again. “Don’t let yourself stress out
again. You’re safe, you’re here, and I’m here with you. Breathe in and out. Slowly, okay? Can you
do that for me?”
Taehyung nods frantically. “I just want him to stop this…”
Jungkook bites down on his own teeth. “I’ll make sure that he does.”
│►
Hyungsik fixes his collar, using his knife to check his reflection before putting it back down next to
the plate. The restaurant isn’t as fancy as he’d like it to be — and as he’s used to — given that he
can’t afford to spend such money, but it still feels like a good, respectable place.
His face instantly twists into an angry frown once he catches sight of two young men walking in
his direction, instead of Taehyung, whom he was waiting for. It’s Jungkook, and he has someone
else with him. “What the fuck are you—”
“Yeah, no, you’re going to shut the fuck up and listen to us.” Jungkook immediately says, pulling
the chair back to sit down. Seokjin does the same, afore slamming a bunch of papers on the table.
Hyungsik stares down at them, positively confused.
“What is that?”
Seokjin clears his throat. “You have broken, approximately, ten laws. Possibly more if we dig
harder, of course. You could do many, many years solely due to domestic violence, not to mention
the manipulation and psychological terror that you caused… which are all points that I can use in
our favor if we pull at the right strings.” he starts, looking down at his papers.
Hyungsik doesn’t even hide his surprise.
The lawyer pulls his glasses down to the middle of his nose bridge. “It reads here that you’re also
unemployed as of now…” he looks up for a second before clicking his tongue. “Wouldn’t it be so
upsetting if you didn’t have the financial stability to pay for someone as good as me at their job to
defend you…?” he says, sarcastic.
Jungkook wants to laugh, but he keeps it in. His best friend is just amazing.
“I’m going to be straight with you.” Seokjin links his own fingers, leaning forward on the table.
“We’re talking about years in prison, and losing everything that belongs to Taehyung, or was ever
bought by him. This includes that amazing apartment that you live in.” Hyungsik does flinch then;
it’s almost imperceptible, but Jungkook’s paying attention. “I have everything here. Apartment,
car, clothes, t—”
“I bet that you’re loving this.” Hyungsik spits, interrupting him, eyes on Jungkook.
“As a matter of fact, yes, I am.” he nods. “It’s really fucking entertaining to see in your eyes just
how hard you’re trying not to absolutely lose it, because you know that you can’t do anything here.
You’re not in control anymore, you’ve lost, and you’re only going to be fucking miserable from
this point on.” Jungkook smiles, leaning closer. “If you ever try to contact Taehyung again, Seokjin
and I will make sure that you lose everything. It’s not a threat anymore, it’s a promise.”
“You can’t do that, though.”
Seokjin shares a look with Jungkook, before sighing exaggeratedly, searching for another paper in
the pile. “I have a bunch of criminal activities that we found linked to you, that we will use against
you in court. I can start reading this, if you’d—”
“No.” Hyungsik interrupts immediately. “Fuck, I get it, fuck you two. Really, rotten in hell.” he
whisper-yells through his teeth, pushing his chair back before getting up. He makes sure to bump
against Jungkook as he walks past them, and he leaves without another word.
“That was kind of anticlimactic, he just left… but we did well.” Seokjin praises.
“You’re insanely good at bullshitting.” Jungkook praises, both of them laughing at it.
“I’m holding a fucking chocolate cake recipe, and he just confessed to us that he either is or was
involved with criminal shit.” Seokjin points, snorting. “That was a success.”
“I’m telling you, it’s your bullshitting talent.” the lawyer just hums. “Thank you so much for doing
this with me, Jin, I’m really thankful. Taehyung was terrified of the sole thought of seeing him
again… and now he won’t have to ever again; all thanks to you.” he sighs, relieved. “I’ll owe you
one.”
“You don’t owe me anything. I’m here to help you with whatever you need. Taehyung included.”
Jungkook smiles. “Thank you so much.”
│►
Jungkook has to, very skillfully, shush Moon as he opens his door. Jimin runs to help stop her
before she can bark, greeting Jungkook with a smile. “Thanks.” the latter says, putting his keys
down. “How is he?”
“We gave him some soup, and we’re pretty sure that he’s sleeping now… little Simba is there with
him, all cuddled up.” Hoseok explains. “He said that he’s ok, but I think that he’s still a bit shaken
up… He’s not out of it or anything, he’s just— You know, a normal reaction when you have a
fucking stalker ex-fiancé.”
“Yeah, he won’t be a problem anymore… but I’ll explain it to you guys tomorrow. Thank you for
watching over him while I was gone.” he smiles. “You can go home now, if you’d like. I’m
heading to the bedroom to check on him, but if you want to stay for a bit longer, feel free to do so.”
“Oh, no, we’ll leave you two to it.” Jimin quickly gets up from the couch to gather his things, and
so has to, very reluctantly, stop petting Moon. “Take good care of my Taehyungie.”
“I always do.” Jungkook assures, accepting a quick hug from the both of them as a goodbye, and
Hoseok ruffles his hair before leaving the apartment. He takes off his shoes right then and there,
leaving his jacket on the couch, as well.
He tiptoes to the bedroom, unwilling to wake the younger man up. However, Taehyung lifts his
head from the pillow when he opens the door. “Hyung.” he whispers.
“I thought that you’d be asleep, love.”
“I was almost asleep, but I heard your voice… and perked up.” Taehyung smiles, watching as
Jungkook takes off his shirt and begins unbuttoning his pants. “Sleeping without you doesn’t even
feel the same anymore, it took me so long to be able to close my eyes properly…”
“I’m here now, baby, we can rest.” Jungkook whispers into the dark room, putting on some
sweatpants before joining Taehyung under the warm sheets. His arm finds its place around the
younger’s middle, and the blonde immediately rolls over to lay his head on Jungkook’s bare chest,
a hand lazily on his toned abdomen.
“Hyung?” Taehyung calls after a few seconds of silence. “The kiss— Why did you…?”
“Oh. I just— I uhm, I wanted you to calm down, and nothing was working, so I just— I don’t
know.” Jungkook gulps, the lump in his throat almost too big to let his saliva go down. Taehyung
nods, his hair tickling Jungkook’s warm skin. “I’m sorry if it made you uncomfortable, I didn’t
know what to do, I acted on impulse. I’m really sorry, I should’ve gotten your consent first…”
“Hey, no.” Taehyung starts, tone quiet as he unconsciously scoots even closer. “It didn’t make me
uncomfortable, I’m not upset or anything, I was just… surprised, is all.” it’s almost a whisper, and
he decides to ignore how fast Jungkook’s heart beats just under his ear.
“Are you angry?”
“Not at you.”
“Okay.” Jungkook whispers, his hand slowly going up and down Taehyung’s back. “We should
talk tomorrow… about Hyungsik.”
Taehyung sighs. “I know… For now, however, can we just sleep? I don’t want to talk about him, I
truly d-don’t…” his voice breaks, reminded of the earlier interaction with his fiancé.
“We won’t, let’s just sleep.” he pulls him closer, closing his eyes.
The silence doesn’t last longer than ten seconds. “Jungkook?” he calls, no honorifics needed.
“Yeah?”
“Thank you for what you did.” Jungkook smiles, pride blooming in his chest. “I don’t know what
I’d do without you.” he adds afore closing his eyes. The elder leans in to kiss the top of Taehyung’s
head, letting the quietness of the room answer for him. He feels the same way.
And he knows that Taehyung can tell by his heartbeat.
│►
Chapter End Notes
So... let's discuss

◄│ 45 │►
Chapter Notes
Moon growls, followed by a playful bark when Jungkook fools her yet again, not actually giving
her the piece of pancake that he pretends to throw. “Alright, alright, there you go, baby.” he laughs,
watching as she takes it in a second, biting his fingers along with it, afraid of being fooled again.
“Hey, my fingers aren’t edible.” he scolds.
He turns around when he hears a few steps, and finds Taehyung rubbing his eyes as he walks into
the kitchen. “Good morning, hyung.” he greets, voice even deeper and raspy from sleep.
“Hey, Tae.” Jungkook pulls himself up from his crouching position. “Did you sleep well?” he asks,
watching as the other takes his place at the table, breakfast ready and waiting for him.
“Yeah, I did, thank you.” he nods. “Thank you for breakfast, too…” Taehyung yawns, covering his
face with both of his hands; hands which get swallowed by his pajama sleeves. Jungkook smiles.
He looks adorable. “How did things work out yesterday…?”
“Well…” Jungkook chuckles as he sits down, though he must leave soon. He’s already dressed and
ready to go. “Jin bullshitted his way through the whole thing, basically. He was holding a cake
recipe, don’t even ask why, he’s weird, and speaking as if he was holding proof and evidence of
every sketchy and illegal shit that Hyungsik does or has done. It worked, weirdly enough, so that’s
good for us.”
Taehyung giggles. “A cake recipe? That’s so funny.”
Jungkook just stares at him for a few seconds, smitten. “You’re so pretty.” he voices before he can
even think about it, but he doesn’t take it back — it’s the truth, so why would he? He coos as the
younger’s cheeks turn a cute shade of red.
“Thank you…” Taehyung mumbles, shy, which grants him a light pinch to his cheek.
“You’re so freaking cute.” Jungkook compliments as he gets up. “I have to go to work now, call
me if you need anything. Whatever it is, okay? Don’t hesitate, just call me. Promise.” he says, tone
serious.
“Yes, I promise, don’t worry. You can go.” Taehyung waves him off, taking a sip from his coffee
as the elder leaves the kitchen with his jacket and phone in hand.
He looks up when he hears rushed footsteps approaching him again, and there’s a kiss pressed to
his forehead before he can even process Jungkook getting that close. It makes him laugh. Jungkook
really came back just for that.
“Bye, Tae!” he says from the front door.
Taehyung rolls his eyes, smile blinding. “Bye, hyungie!”
│►
Yun opens her door whilst still holding a toothbrush, hair messy and still in her pajamas. Jungkook
can tell that she was just getting ready for work before he showed up. “Hey, handsome… You
didn’t tell me that you were coming over.”
“Hey… I uhm, I just— We need to talk.” he informs. “I couldn’t sleep tonight because of this, and
we truly need to talk it out.” Yun furrows her eyebrows; she can tell from his tone that it’s
something serious, and so she just steps aside to let him in. “Thank you…”
Yun tries to greet him with a little kiss, but he turns his head to the side, unwilling to make it
worse. She gapes, but doesn’t comment on it just yet. “What do we have to talk about…?” she asks
as she reaches for his hand to lead him to the living room. “What’s wrong? You’re worrying me.”
“I don’t even know how to say this, fuck.” Jungkook curses under his breath, wiping his sweaty
palms on his jeans. “I uhm, yesterday— Oh, my God, I can’t say it. I can’t believe that I was that
guy, I can’t even say it.” he lays his head down on his hands, and Yun circles his middle with her
arm.
“Try just saying it. You’ve made me curious, now I want to know.” she rolls her eyes, a little
impatient. “You’ve made it sound really serious, and you just dodged my kiss, so I want to know
what happened. It couldn’t have been that bad.”
But Jungkook knows that it is. It is that bad. He did that wrong. He was that horrible. “I kissed
Taehyung.” he whispers, and the silence that fills up the living room is suffocating. Yun pulls
away, just as he expected her to.
“You… You cheated on me?!” she almost yells, unbelieving. “Are you fucking serious,
Jungkook?” Yun completely pulls away to get up, and Jungkook follows as he tries to grab her
hands. She doesn’t let him. “What the fuck? Why?!”
“Babe, I’m so sorry. I just— I don’t know why I did it.” he tries. “I-I want us to work out, I don’t—
I didn’t— I just—”
“You’re just lying to yourself and me, at this point.” she steps back, eyes brimming with angry
tears. “Stop saying that ‘you just’ or that you don’t know why you did it. And don’t even fucking
dare say that you didn’t mean it, because we both know that you did.” her voice sounds even
louder now, and Jungkook hates it. He hates it when people yell.
“No…” he shakes his head. “I don’t feel like that about Taehyung, he’s my best friend—”
“Yes, you do!” Yun throws her hands in the air, exasperated. “I knew that this relationship wasn’t
going to last, to be honest, I knew it, but I wanted it to, and I wanted to try, so I ignored how
painfully fucking obvious it is that you like him, but this? This is too much. I can’t act like this
didn’t happen. I could turn a blind eye at how you put him before anything and anyone, I could
ignore how you treat him like he means the world to you, but kissing him when we’re dating?!
Fuck no, Jungkook.”
“Babe—” Jungkook takes a step closer.
“No, shut up.” she steps back. “And you actually made me feel like it was my fault that this wasn’t
working out, that’s the funniest fucking part. I sat down so many times thinking of how I could
possibly— You didn’t share shit, then expected me to understand you.” Yun chuckles, angry.
“Yun, it’s not my fault alone, either. You’re too invasive. I don’t like talking about things, and you
always pressured me about it. You can’t blame me for that.” he retaliates.
“That’s because I care about you, you asshole!” she screams, a tear rolling down her cheek. “I
tried, for weeks, but whenever we were able to be together, it was Taehyung this, Taehyung that.
Believe me, I wanted to ignore it, but the stupid shine in your eyes annoyed me so much. You’ve
never looked at me like that— Hell, you’ve never given me as much attention. You’re a terrible,
evil person, and a shitty fucking boyfriend.” she accuses.
“He’s my b—”
“If you say that he’s your best friend again, I will lose it.” Jungkook closes his mouth. “I don’t
even know your favorite food, Jungkook.” she sighs, defeated. “I know that I’m clingy, I’ve never
had a boyfriend that cared for me, and I genuinely like you, so I didn’t want to lose you, but now
—” she stops to sniff, a second away from bawling her eyes.
“I’m really, deeply sorry.” he gulps. “We can still try, if you believe that you’ll ever manage to
forgive me. I’ve never wanted to hurt you, seriously, I feel like shit for— uhm, cheating on you.”
Jungkook takes a step closer. “I never thought that I’d be that guy…”
“The final outcome will always be me getting hurt, because one day or the other, you’ll open your
eyes about the way that you feel about Taehyung. This isn’t going anywhere.” she shakes her head.
“If anything, I’ll fall for you and get even more heartbroken when you realize your feelings for
him.”
“Yun…”
“We’re over, in case it’s not obvious enough. Leave my house, Jungkook, I have to go to work.”
she’s staring at the floor, trying to keep herself together for as long as he’s there, and Jungkook
can’t even dare ask her to look at him. He did wrong. So wrong.
He knows that cheating doesn’t deserve forgiveness, so he steps closer to kiss her cheek. “I’m
sorry…” he whispers, quietly, before leaving her house, only to feel lost once he gets outside. He
doesn’t know what to think of what just happened.
One thing is certain, though: Yun is right. He’s a horrible person, and a shitty boyfriend.
│►
Eunjae puts another glass in place, glancing over at her coworker. Jungkook’s wiping a plate dry,
eyes staring into nothing, unfocused. He’s been there for hours and, ever since he’s clocked in, he
hasn’t said a single word. She’s had enough.
“You’re awfully quiet today…” she starts. “Did something happen? You know that you can tell
me, just say that it’s something serious, and I won’t make jokes. I promise.”
Jungkook sighs. “Do you think that I might have a crush on Taehyung?” Eunjae stares back at him,
her jaw slacking in surprise. She then takes her time putting the rest of the plates in place, which
only makes Jungkook’s nerves start to build up as he waits for an answer. The silence is unsettling.
“No.” Eunjae says at last. Jungkook sighs, relieved, and she has to do her best not to snort at that.
“Calling it a crush is a big ass euphemism. That’s not nearly enough. I don’t think that you have a
crush on Taehyung, I think that you’re in love with the guy; yes, I do think so.” Jungkook gapes.
“Why do you ask, though?”
“Yun and I broke up.”
“Oh, shit.” her eyes widen. “I mean— That’s good, given that I stopped liking her when she forced
herself onto you, but like, why?” she rests her hips on the counter, curious. Jungkook looks down
at the rag in his hands, fiddling with it. “Was it you ending it, or her?”
“She broke up with me because I told her that I kissed Taehyung. I wasn’t going to tell her initially,
because— I don’t know, it was an impulsive action and it wasn’t supposed to happen, but I
wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I hid it from her. She got super mad at me, understandably
so. I’m really fucking mad at myself too, I don’t know why I kissed him.”
“You kissed him because you like him. It’s simple and obvious.” Eunjae rolls her eyes. “I’ve
known of this for a long time now, I was waiting for you to realize it… The way that you talk to
him, or about him, is whipped as fuck. I could always see the spark in your eyes, that’s why I make
jokes all the time… You were happy with Yun at the start, so I was merely rooting for your
happiness, but I too knew that it wouldn’t last. Your heart has already been taken.”
“He’s my best friend.” Jungkook whispers. “He— I don’t like him, I—” he stops; he’s not so sure
anymore. “I feel so bad, so guilty for what I did to Yun. I’m such a horrible person, I hate this, I
hate myself. She didn’t deserve it, fucking hell, I’m— I suck so bad.”
“I mean, yeah, cheating sucks and it wasn’t fair of you to do that to her, but she wasn’t good for
you, either. You said it yourself, and you know it too, deep down. Now, just think about it… Take
your time to think of how you feel about Taehyung. That’s the next step, and you shouldn’t rush
yourself to get to a conclusion.”
“How can I possibly sit down thinking whether I am in love with my best friend or not?!” he asks,
exasperated. “I have no idea of what to even think about, what am I supposed— Gosh.”
“Let’s start with a very easy question: did you enjoy the kiss?” Jungkook doesn’t answer right
away as his mind immediately replays the moment, the feeling of Taehyung’s soft lips against his
own. “No need to answer, your stupid smile has said enough. Just— I don’t know, think of how
you feel when you’re with him and all of that, it should lead you to answers. I’m not the person to
give advice, especially not love related ones, I’m extremely single.” she reminds.
Jungkook looks away. How does he feel with Taehyung?
That’s easy. He feels safe, he feels relaxed, happy, needed. He feels protected too, he feels secure
and comfortable; understood, respected. Jungkook feels all of that and so much more. He feels
cared for, he feels loved — in a way. He feels important. He feels like he matters something, like
he makes a difference.
And he made Yun feel the exact opposite without even realizing it. He’s such a bad person. Yun
cared a lot for him as well, in her own way, but she did, and he broke her heart. He doesn’t deserve
to even think about Taehyung in such a way. He doesn’t deserve Taehyung.
He is, and would be, the most terrible boyfriend.
“Why are you crying—”
“I’m not.” Jungkook immediately wipes away his forming tears. “W-We should work before
Seojoon shows up again.” he gulps, getting his rag back. “I need silence for a bit, please.”
“Alright, I can stay silent for a few minutes.” she teases. “Just know that you don’t have to
immediately know what you feel. You’re probably confused, and it’s fine to be, just take your time
to think.”
Jungkook sniffs, nods. “Yeah, I will.”
│►
“Uh—” Yoongi mutters to himself as he looks through the peephole, unlocking his door right
away. “Hey, Kooks.” he smiles, a little confused. “You usually text when you come over, I’m
surprised to see you here.”
“We have a problem.” Jungkook informs, taking the liberty to walk inside. Yoongi just follows
him, curious. “I think that I may like Taehyung.” he lets out. “Romantically, I mean.” he adds,
afraid of the answer that it may grant him.
“Yeah, I know.” Yoongi nods as he takes another chip from the bag that he’s holding. “Why is that
a problem…?” he asks, still puzzled. Jungkook just plops himself on the couch, hands dropped on
his lap. “Hold on, I’ll make us some tea.”
“Coffee, please…” Jungkook sighs. “No sugar.” his friend hums as he leaves the bag of chips with
him, before going back to the kitchen. Jungkook goes completely silent, just staring down at the
floor. He’s confused — even more now. He came to his friend looking for answers, but Yoongi has
only given him more questions.
That ‘I know’ keeps repeating in an endless loop until Yoongi returns holding two mugs, one with
tea and one with coffee, and he chuckles at Jungkook’s thoughtful expression. “Are you alright?”
he asks, amused.
“I have no fucking clue of what’s going on in my mind right now.” he whispers, defeated. “It’s
weird to even think of Taehyung like this, I don’t know why this is happening now…” he looks up
at his friend. “I’m scared, Yoongi.” Jungkook admits, voice breaking at the edges.
“Why are you scared, Kooks? What is there to be scared of? Feelings are hard, but they don’t have
to be scary, you shouldn’t fear them…” Yoongi asks as he sits down next to him. “What scares you
about this?”
“I don’t want to ruin what we have. I don’t want to lose him, I can’t possibly lose him right now,
Yoon. He’s my rock, my emotional rock, and I have no fucking clue of what I’d do if he just— left
me right now.” Jungkook lets it all out in one single breath, exhaling at the end as if such words
pain him to even say aloud. “I can’t lose Taehyung. I can’t lose him.”
“For all that we know, Taehyung may feel the same way…”
“Y-You guys have to be reading this wrong, I don’t think of him that way.” he shakes his head
with a gulp. “I don’t, he’s my best friend, and I’m not in love with my best friend.” Yoongi blinks
as Jungkook’s voice starts getting louder, clearly overwhelmed and nervous.
“Listen, Kooks…” Yoongi puts his mug down, turning on the couch to face him at a better angle.
“You do behave a certain way with Taehyung, and the way that you talk about him and to him has
always made me think that there could be feelings beyond friendship. Now, I don’t know where
this came from, or what made you open your eyes, but you can just sit down to think all of this
through. No one demands an answer out of you, so take your time; analyze it, really think about
your shared time… When you figure yourself out, then worry about it. Worry about what he may
think, or of how to perhaps get together with him.”
Jungkook shakes his head. “I’d never date Taehyung.” he states firmly. Yoongi feels a sting in his
stomach. “I’d never be worthy of someone like him… Even as just friends, I can tell when
someone’s fucking perfect, and Tae is just that. He’s perfect in all aspects, and I’m a terrible
person, and a shitty boyfriend, I’d never put him through that again.”
“If it helps, I believe that you’d be the perfect boyfriend for him. The way that you treat him, even
in front of everyone, tells me enough. You’d be amazing for him, trust me.” Yoongi reassures,
placing a hand on Jungkook’s thigh to pat it twice. “Why would you even say that about
yourself…?”
“I cheated on my girlfriend. Well, she’s not my girlfriend anymore… but yes, I cheated on her
yesterday.” Jungkook sighs, embarrassed. “Taehyung and I kissed.”
Yoongi chokes on his spit. “You kissed?! Oh my God, when? How? Who kissed who?!”
“I kissed him. He was having a panic attack, and nothing that I was saying was helping him calm
down, so a kiss was the first thing that came to mind.” he explains, fiddling with his fingers. “I
know that it was wrong, but… it worked.”
“So, instead of grabbing a glass of water, or doing some breathing exercises, kissing comes first to
your head, and you have doubts whether you like him or not…?” Yoongi raises an eyebrow. “Did
you like the kiss?”
“He didn’t really kiss back, he was too shocked to do so, but his lips felt nice…” Jungkook says,
shy. “That still doesn’t necessarily have to mean anything, just that he has nice lips.”
“Would you ever kiss Seokjin? Me?”
“Fuck no.”
“Would you kiss Taehyung again?” the silence that follows is enough telling. Yoongi taps his
thigh again with a smile. “Think about your answers. You have a lot of thinking to do…”
│►
Taehyung scratches the back of his ear, holding a pen firmly in his hand as he goes over some
work notes from the patients that he’ll be seeing tomorrow, to revive his memory. He circles
around some words, underlines others, and he knows that his papers would look messy to anyone.
He looks up when he hears the front door opening, and Moon jumps from her sleeping position
right next to him to run towards the newcomer. Her tail wags impossibly fast once she identifies
her owner. “Hey, baby.” Jungkook greets, petting the space between her ears.
Jungkook doesn’t smile, Taehyung notes right away. He doesn’t smile as he greets her, and that’s
enough for the younger man to know that something isn’t right. He tilts his head. “Come here,
hyungie.” he invites as he pats the couch, closing his notes and putting them away. “Are you
okay?” Jungkook strides over, sitting down with a closed expression, deadpan. “Hyung…?”
His eyes follow Taehyung’s hand like a hawk when it lands on his thigh, squeezing it reassuringly.
“Yes, I’m fine, I just had a rough day, is all…” he lies. “I’m just tired, really.”
Taehyung coos, tapping his own lap invitingly, and Jungkook isn’t quite sure of what to do,
because as normal as that might be — him lying on Taehyung’s lap — he’s a little too aware of
everything now. His mind is all over the place, it’s not so simple anymore.
He can’t reject such an offer, though, so he lies on his side, his head comfortably resting on
Taehyung’s thighs. His eyes close once he feels Taehyung’s slender finger playing with his hair;
he’s always loved that feeling, but Taehyung’s the only person that he allows to touch his hair. It’s
so relaxing. He just never thought much of it.
“Do you want to watch a movie?” he shakes his head. “Hm… talk? Go out to the park?”
“Can we just stay here? You can continue working, I just— I just need to… be in your company to
feel better. I promise that I won’t disturb you…” Jungkook whispers, looking up at Taehyung’s
warm, but worried eyes.
“Of course, hyung.” silence settles between them, then, and Taehyung resumes reading his notes as
Jungkook simply watches him; Taehyung’s features, Taehyung’s expressions, Taehyung. His mind
is all over the place, a big mess.
“Yun and I broke up.” Jungkook suddenly whispers. “I mean, she broke up with me, but the result
is the same.” he looks back up at Taehyung who’s already staring at him, eyes wide.
“Is that why you’re so… I don’t know, down?” Taehyung asks. “I’m sorry that that happened, do
you want to talk about it?” Jungkook gulps. Does he? He’s not sure whether he wants to talk about
it or not, because he doesn’t want to think of anything at all.
Still, “Yeah.” he sighs. “I’m actually not that upset that we broke up, I knew that it would end up
happening sooner or later, but I’m really upset over her reaction… even if what she said was true.
She was completely right in what she told me, but it hurt a bit. What I did to her wasn’t respectful
at all, nor was it acceptable in the slightest. She was my girlfriend, and I was just… a shitty
boyfriend, but her words cut deep.”
“Hyung, you defended her even when she didn’t deserve to be defended, even when she acted so
grossly and disrespectfully towards you. You tried to make it work for weeks, don’t speak as if
breaking up was your fault alone. It was the two of you. Some people just don’t work out
together… and I suppose that your interests, goals and personalities just didn’t match, that’s all.”
Taehyung says, as soft as ever, still playing with Jungkook’s hair. “You shouldn’t beat yourself up
so much for it.”
“But—” he stops. Taehyung seems to get it.
“Did you break up because you kissed me…?” and Jungkook just positively wants to hide or for
the ground to take pity on him and swallow him whole. “I’m sorry, hyung, it appears to be my
fault, then…”
“No, Taehyung, don’t you even dare blame yourself for this.” Jungkook sits up. “I’d kiss you again
if I were to go back in time, I wouldn’t change what happened, because I was so fucking worried,
and I’d do anything for you to be alright. You know that much. Please, don’t blame yourself for
my actions.”
“But…” Taehyung sighs. “Was she hurt?”
“Yeah, she hates me now, I think. She said some hurtful things back at me, but I deserved them,
and they were true, so… whatever, really.” he lays back down, closing his eyes. “I just want to
pretend that today didn’t happen, my head hurts from thinking so much about— things.”
“You can take a nap.” Taehyung smiles. “I’m right here, and I won’t go anywhere.” he assures.
“I’ll play with your hair while you sleep.” Jungkook nods, content. He can no longer ignore the
way that his heart flips, or the way that he leans into Taehyung’s touch.
He can’t ignore the fluttery sensation inside of his chest anymore.
│►
“I still think that this shouldn’t be happening. She shouldn’t have been eliminated.” Jimin points at
the television, his voice failing to mask just how upset the show is making him. “How are you two
just sitting there? How can you not be as upset as I am?”
Jungkook shares a knowing look with Taehyung before they both shrug. “We don’t really watch
reality shows. We don’t even watch television much, to be honest with you.” Taehyung is the one
to explain. “And I can see that you’re going to rant about this so, Jungkookie hyung, I’m sorry, but
I’ll leave you two to it. I need to pee, I’ll be right back…”
“Oh, thanks for that.” Jungkook forces himself to frown, acting upset. Taehyung just shows him
his tongue on his way out, and Jungkook turns to Jimin the second that the bathroom door closes.
“I need to ask you something, since you’re dating and— engaged, and all.”
Jimin blinks. “Should I be scared…?”
“No.” Jungkook pouts. “What does it feel like… when you’re in love?” he asks. “How does that
person make you feel? What’s it like? If you don’t mind telling me…” Jimin crosses his legs,
looking away in thought. If Jungkook had to guess, he’d say that Jimin’s thinking of Hoseok.
“You feel… safe, warm, you feel needed and you also feel the need to protect them just as much.
You feel like being in their arms, or having them in yours, is the closest thing to home, and you
love having them close.” Jimin starts with a little smile. “You want to know everything about them
and give them a piece of yourself, you trust them like no one else, and you even know the smallest
details about them, like how they like their coffee… You put them above anyone else— in some
cases, even above yourself.”
Jungkook stares at him for a few seconds, mouth agape, before looking down. “Fuck.” he mutters.
“Fuck— Fuck.” he pulls his hair back, eyebrows furrowed in distress. “Jimin— Fuck.”
“What’s happening?” Jimin leans away to look at him, confused. “What is this about?”
“I think— Oh, my fucking God. I think that I might have feelings for Taehyung. Romantic ones.”
Jimin stares in silence afore screeching, having to cover his mouth with both of his hands, eyes
disappearing within the apples of his cheeks. “What—”
“I’m going to cry.” Jimin manages to squeal out. “I can’t believe that this is finally happening,
hyung, I’m going to cry, seriously cry my goddamn eyes out.”
Jungkook blinks. “What the fuck—”
“This is literally the best thing that you could’ve told me. I’d skip my fucking wedding to attend
yours, you don’t understand.” Jimin grabs onto his hands, and Jungkook’s jaw slacks when he
notices that there are actual tears in his eyes. It makes him laugh, quietly.
“Are you alright?” he asks in a teasing matter. “What the fuck is happening right now? I’m
insanely confused by your reaction to this.” Jimin sniffs, drying off his eyes.
“Don’t look at me like you’re about to jump out of the window, I’m just really happy for you two. I
can’t believe that one of you has finally acknowledged this, it’s so fucking wholesome.” he squeals
again. “I’ve been rooting for you for months now.”
“Maybe I’m just horny, or— I just need to get laid, right?” he still tries, having a hard time
wrapping his head around everything that is happening. All of the assumptions, all of the theories.
Everyone seems to know something that he doesn’t. Everyone seems to be aware of Jungkook’s
feelings for the younger man, so how come Jungkook himself isn’t sure of anything? He can’t
shake the possibility of his feelings being strictly friend-like. It’s more plausible than not.
“If that’s true, then it’s your heart that is horny.” Jimin accuses. “How do you feel when you’re
with him? Do you feel what I described, at all?”
“I feel…” Jungkook looks down. “I feel exactly what you described, and so much more. I-I look at
him, and he’s just the most incredible, most beautiful person that I’ve ever met, but how did I
suddenly start— How did I— I’ve always thought that he was beautiful, why does it feel so
different now? I don’t understand.”
“Because now you two know each other. Everything is different now, hyung… the trust, the
context, the relationship… You fell for him, that’s all. That’s why it feels different.”
“I’m so fucked.” Jungkook whispers. “Jimin, I’m so fucked.” he looks up, positively panicking
already. “He’s going to hate me, he will— Jimin, I can’t lose him, and he’s going to hate me.”
“Hey, don’t think like this. You have to be positive.” Jimin tsks. “Just take this slowly, you
weren’t even sure of anything until now, take your time to process it, and then think of what to do.
He won’t hate you, though. We all know that you two can’t possibly ever hate each other at this
point.” Jungkook worries at his bottom lip. “You have time.”
Jungkook opens his mouth to speak, but shuts it when he sees Taehyung coming back into the
living room. He walks up to them, before plopping himself between both of his friends, his leg
slightly over Jungkook’s.
Jimin watches as Jungkook stares at Taehyung’s leg, eyes big with something that Jimin can’t quite
place, but his pout is adorably entertaining. “Shall we go on with the show?”
“Yes.” Jungkook says with a high-pitched voice. He immediately coughs, looking away. “I mean,
yeah.”
Jimin cackles to himself. “Oh, boy.”
│►
Jungkook keeps staring down at his feet, legs crossed out lazily on the empty couch. There’s a
single thread sticking out of his fuzzy sock that he can’t stop putting at, mind racing with
everything that happened in just one single day. Yoongi, Jimin, and Eunjae’s words keep repeating
and repeating and he’s slowly going mad.
He’s almost sure of what he feels, though when he stops to think that yes, maybe he truly is in love,
it goes back to sounding like a reach; impossible, completely bonkers.
He turns back when he hears something very faint, and his eyes meet Taehyung’s as the younger
man leans against the doorframe. “I’m sorry, did you say something?” Jungkook asks, a little lost.
Trying not to look at Taehyung’s collarbones is a challenge that he barely manages to succeed at;
why is he even wearing a shirt if he’s going to leave it so carelessly buttoned? It’s almost torturous.
“I just asked if you’re coming to bed… I can’t fall asleep.” Taehyung pouts, watching as
Jungkook’s face morphs into his typical smile, warm and charming. “It’s late, why haven’t you
joined me yet? I’m very fond of your cuddles.”
“I was just thinking, I didn’t mean to take long. Let’s head to bed.”
“Thinking about what?” Taehyung asks, curious, as Jungkook gets to his side so that they both can
go back to their shared bedroom. “If you don’t mind sharing, obviously.”
“Just… life, I guess. Work, and all.” Jungkook shrugs it off, pulling the covers back so that he can
lay down. He waits for Taehyung to join him before pulling them back up, only covering their legs.
“I was also beating myself up a little… because of what happened with Yun.”
“I’m really mad at myself for what happened. I’m so sorry for ruining your relationship…” the
younger looks down at his lap, ashamed. “I understand if you’re mad at me, too— Oh, is that why
you weren’t coming to bed? I’m sorry, hyung, I truly am…”
“Listen…” Jungkook turns to him, carefully lifting his head up by a gentle hand on his chin.
Taehyung leans into the touch, and Jungkook isn’t sure of how to feel about that now. “You didn’t
ruin anything. I did. Yun and I did. It was never going to work out, we were fighting for something
that was bound to end. Us kissing— I mean, me kissing you, as bad as it was of me to do, just sped
up the process. It didn’t start anything.”
“Are you sure…?”
“Really certain.” Jungkook smiles, leaning closer to rest his forehead against Taehyung’s. They
close their eyes as he does so, though Jungkook loses his smile. Do they really just naturally act
like this? Taehyung could push him away, but he doesn’t, so is this that normal to them?
“I’m glad that said kiss didn’t make things awkward, it was meaningless, after all.” Taehyung says
with a little smile as he pulls back. Jungkook gulps. Yes. Meaningless. Absolutely.
“I would never let things get awkward between us just because of that— meaningless thing.” he
assures, and the younger’s smile widens as he leans in to kiss Jungkook’s cheek. He fails to see
how the older man blushes instantly.
He lays down then, welcoming Taehyung’s head on his chest. He’s so warm; not just his body, but
his presence. Jungkook feels so warm when he’s with Taehyung. He loves having him there, he
just never stopped to think of how much.
Taehyung scoots closer, finding an even better position, and Jungkook’s hyper aware of their
proximity now. “Night, hyungie.”
“Night, angel.” Taehyung nuzzles into his chest, but he doesn’t stay like that for long, eventually
shifting until his face is hidden in Jungkook’s neck; the latter can feel his warm breath fanning on
his throat, the soft lips resting against his skin.
And oh. It’s going to be a long night.
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 46 │►
Chapter Notes
I love angst :D
Yun gathers all of her belongings, balancing them with just one arm as she opens the front door,
only to let out a startled scream when she’s faced with a figure leaning back against the wall to her
right. She doesn’t even have to look to match that perfume to a face.
“Hey.” Jungkook greets, nervous. “Can we talk?” she doesn’t say anything, simply looks away
from him. “I won’t be long, I promise. It’ll be quick.” he assures. “I have to go to work, too, so I’m
not going to make you late.”
Yun sighs, walking back inside without saying a word, and Jungkook follows. He closes the door
behind himself before joining her in the living room; she’s already sat down on the couch, so he
figures that he should do the same, albeit cautious to keep some space between them.
“Are you doing alright?” Jungkook asks, but receives no answer. “Oh, uhm, are you giving me the
silent treatment? I do deserve it, so I’m not going to try to get something out of you, I’ll just say
what I wanted to say, and I’ll leave you to it.” he wipes his clammy hands on his jeans, looking
back at her. “Are you listening, or…?” he checks.
The young woman just nods, eyes focusing on her lap instead. She looks sad, Jungkook notes, and
that makes him feel even worse about the whole situation.
“I want to sincerely apologize. For everything, not just the kiss. I want to apologize for not treating
you right, for not being the best boyfriend for you, and for not giving you the attention and the
affection that you deserve. I did try, I swear. I wanted us to work out, so I always tried to ignore
your flaws, but you didn’t ignore mine, and— I’m sorry if you don’t feel this way, but I feel like
we were just desperately using each other for some kind of… companionship.”
“My flaws?! What did I do? When have I ever done anything wrong towards you?”
Jungkook gapes. “You… You almost forced me to have sex. Twice. You didn’t care when I was
sad, and you tried to make me change my hair just because long hair is for women, apparently,
when it barely even reaches my cheeks… which makes me think that you just wanted or needed
me to look a certain way for you.” he points, and she looks away. “Look, I don’t want to fight,
that’s not why I came here.”
“Then why did you? To rub in my face that you’re doing just fine while I’m actually really upset
that we broke up? I seriously liked you, Jungkook, and you’re failing to understand that. You hurt
me, and you’re not understanding that.” she scowls.
“I do, Yun. I understand it.” Jungkook reassures, turning towards her. “I’m sorry that things ended
up this way, and I’m really fucking sorry for hurting you.” Yun just nods, desperately wanting to
put an end to the conversation. “I asked a friend what loving someone feels like and fuck, I’m
sorry, but it’s not what I felt with you, it’s what I feel with—” he stops, gulping.
“Taehyung.” Yun finishes up for him. “I’m happy for you, I guess. At least you figured it all
out…” she sighs. “Are you two getting together now?”
“No, not really… I don’t think that he feels the same way about me, so I don’t see us ever getting
together. Besides, he deserves someone amazing, and our relationship was a great way for me to
realize how shitty of a boyfriend I am. He doesn’t deserve it. I can’t allow him to end up with
someone like me. I can’t let that happen to him. He deserves someone… good. A good partner.”
“Jungkook, you absolute idiot, you were only a bad boyfriend for me because you were too in love
with someone else. I hate to say this, but you’d be an amazing boyfriend for him. I can’t believe
that I’m actually agreeing that you and Taehyung should date.” Jungkook chuckles. “It’s not
funny.”
“It’s a bit funny.”
“Just a bit.” Yun smiles. “You’re forgiven, if that’s what you came here for. I understand that you
had no idea of what was going on, so… yeah, it’s fine, but it’s also not. I’m still hurt, and I’m still
mad at you and at Taehyung, but I hope that you two figure it all out.”
“Thank you… Are we— good?” he tilts his head, his charming smile making Yun roll her eyes.
“Don’t smile at me like that.” she scolds. “But yeah, we’re good.” she leans closer, involving him
in a tight hug that he quickly reciprocates, rubbing her back soothingly. “When I go back to that
coffee shop where you’re working at, you better tell me that you two got together, because if I went
through all of this for nothing…” she half-threatens.
“I highly doubt that… He doesn’t want me…”
“Jungkook, you’re— you’re insanely attractive, and you’re honestly really smart. You’re sweet
when you allow yourself to be, and the way that you act with him is exactly how someone should
treat their boyfriend or girlfriend. You didn’t do it for me because you like him, but you already do
all of those things for him. You’ll be great to him, don’t sweat it.”
“I don’t understand how everyone fucking saw it, and I didn’t.” Jungkook sighs, laying his head on
his hands. “The ones that I sought help from just said that they already knew it.”
“It’s really obvious, that’s why.” she chuckles. “You call him angel, baby, and every other pet
name possible. You sleep together because he relaxes you so much that you don’t have your night
terrors when he’s with you… You’re dumb for not realizing it, and I’m even dumber for thinking
that we could work when you’re so into him.”
“I’m sorry. I really tried, Yun…”
“I know. It’s fine.” she sighs. “Not really fine, but fine.”
“I know that you’re still mad at me, I can see it.” Jungkook points with a little sad smile. “I’m so
fucking sorry for the way that I treated you, and the kiss— the kiss was unacceptable. I’m not a
cheater. I’m really not.”
“Look, whether you consider yourself a cheater or not, it doesn’t change what happened. You
cheated on me, and that’s that.” Yun’s polite smile falls. “I can’t forgive you for that. You’re
forgiven for everything else, but not for that. You broke my heart. I’m only glad that I wasn’t in
love with you yet, at least.” Jungkook looks down. He’s never felt this guilty. “I wish you the best,
but I also kind of hate you as well, so just… leave.”
“Alright.” Jungkook nods. “I just wanted to talk to you one last time, I thought that you deserved
it.” he tries to smile, but to no avail. “I know that your ex was shitty as well, so uhm, don’t think
that everyone will be like us. You’ll find someone.”
“I wanted you.” he gulps. “So… leave.”
“I will.”
│►
“So…!” Eunjae starts, leaning over on the counter; all of the customers have been served their
breakfasts, so they don’t really have anything to do. “I watched a movie last night, and I don’t think
that I’ve ever cried that much in my fucking life, I was sobbing.” she shares.
Jungkook hums. “What was it about?”
“It was about a couple that met in high school, and it was insanely cliché, I know, but it warmed
my heart so much.” she starts. “They didn’t get together then, they had feelings for each other but
didn’t act on them… Then they met again years after, and still had feelings for each other and then
— Gosh, it was just so sad but beautiful. I mean, I’m nineteen, I just finished high school, and I’ve
never seen such a cute duo. No relationship that I’ve witnessed starting in high school lasted.”
“I see that you’re a romantic person.” he notes. “That makes two of us. I tend to be really closed off
with friends and— just everyone in general, but if I were to be in a relationship, then I think that I’d
be very romantic… I wasn’t with Yun, so I’m still waiting for the chance to be like that.”
“Taehyung’s your chance, dude. I’d also like to say that, if you two get together, then please tell
me all the details of everything that happens. Gay romance just hits me even harder.”
“No, absolutely not.” Jungkook shakes his head. “Especially because he’d never even date me, to
begin with. Can we not talk about this? I’ll get depressed. The movie that you told me about just
brought me memories, and that was already enough to fuck up my mood.” he huffs.
“That was adorable.” his coworker points. “But, if you don’t mind me asking, what memories?
What about the movie brought you memories…? It was a top-notch plot, so what could you
possibly have related to it?” she teases.
“First of all, fuck off. Tae and I met in high school, that’s what it reminded me of.” Eunjae blinks,
positively surprised. “However, much like the movie, we didn’t see each other for long years…
We only kind of reunited earlier this year because he’s a therapist and I’m fucked up, so… yeah.”
“Holy shit.” she covers her mouth with one hand. “That would be an amazing story for a book.
That’s actually so cute—? What the hell… Did you recognize each other right away?”
“He recognized me, but I didn’t recognize him. He looks extremely different… He’s way prettier
now, and he also looks more masculine, you know? Way more mature, he’s all grown up. Not that
he was ugly in high school, he was pretty cute, so much so that I had a crush on h—”
“No, you didn’t, shut the fuck up.” Eunjae squeals, placing her hands on her coworker’s shoulders.
“This is what destiny is all about, this is fucking fate. Life brought you guys together once, and did
it again after years of being apart. That’s so fucking cute. You better date the shit out of Taehyung,
and this is a threat.”
Jungkook presses his lips together, and she smiles, batting her eyelashes. “There are moments
where you remind me of my little sister, it’s so fucking weird.” Jungkook mumbles, pulling away
so that he can look at the counter instead of her reaction.
“You have a sister? You’ve never mentioned that, that’s cute. You’re the cool older brother, huh?”
she coos. Jungkook visibly deflates, head tilted down, and she doesn’t miss it. “You’re suddenly
sad, so I’ll change the topic instead of asking…” he silently thanks her for that. “Let’s talk about
the love of your life instead, how did things end up yesterday? Did you do all the thinking that you
needed?”
“Uhm… Kind of. It’s hard to think when he’s right next to me, I always feel like he can read my
mind or some shit.” Jungkook says, scratching the back of his neck. “Imagine how mad and
disappointed he’d be if he found out about my feelings… I can’t let that happen, Jae.”
“You make me want to get violent sometimes.” she tsks. “I’m telling you, he most likely feels the
same for you, you can’t be so pessimistic, Jesus Christ. I’ll give you some advice, and I guarantee
that it’ll work: take his head between your palms, gaze into his eyes lovingly, and slowly lean into
a kiss. Got it?”
“I’m not kissing him, are you insane?”
“You already did, though.”
“That was a one-time thing, I’d never kiss him without knowing that he’s on the same boat. Do
you want to know what the worst part is? We’ve always been so naturally touchy with each other
that it would be very suspicious — and hard — to change it now, so I’m basically torturing myself
every time that we… touch, because I take it differently.”
“What do you mean?” she asks.
“I’ll give you an example. Last night, he was dreaming about something, and so he kept mumbling
against my neck, he was— his fucking lips were on my neck, moving the whole entire time. It’s
something that has happened before, and it didn’t faze me, but now it’s so different. I didn’t know
what to do with myself, I just— I was lying there, stiff as a board.”
“Hm… Am I to assume that everything was stiff as a board?” Jungkook chokes on his spit,
coughing a few times. He can recognize that, yes, that was the worst choice of words.
“I didn’t have a fucking boner.” he says, voice high-pitched, so he coughs again to try to clear his
throat. “I’m talking about feeling all kinds of butterflies because of him, and you just have to make
it dirty, you’re horrible.”
“That’s boring.” Jungkook rolls his eyes. “How was the kiss, by the way? I never got to ask, but
I’m curious to know how you did it…” Eunjae asks as she looks for a plate and a rag to at least try
to look occupied.
“Well… It was a slow kiss, so don’t get any ideas, and it was nice, I guess. It didn’t last long, and
he didn’t really kiss back, so it wasn’t amazing, but just the fact that it was him makes it
automatically nice. And, to answer the question, I just held his cheeks and went for it.”
“Which cheeks did you hold?
Jungkook immediately walks away. “I’m not doing this.”
│►
“Wait, wait, wait.” Jungkook chants when Taehyung goes to sit down, and he urges the younger
man to get back up; which he does, albeit confused. Only does he understand the reason when
Jungkook takes off his jacket and lies it down on the grass. “You can sit now.”
“Oh, hyung, but you’ll be cold.” Taehyung worries, gesturing towards Jungkook’s arms now in full
display; it’s a cold night, and he can’t just allow him to sit there in a tee shirt. “I don’t mind sitting
on the floor, put your jacket back on…”
“You might not mind, but I won’t let you.” Jungkook smiles, sitting down on a smaller portion of
the jacket so that Taehyung has more space. The blonde gives in, sitting down, even if a little
hesitantly. “How was work today?” Jungkook asks, curious.
“It was alright…” he starts, resting his head on Jungkook’s shoulder, and the elder has to do
everything in his power not to place his hand on Taehyung’s thigh. “There’s a patient of mine that
celebrated a year sober today, and he brought champagne. I was so confused, and kind of
concerned, but it was alcohol-free… he only bought it for the joke.” he giggles.
“I reckon that it’s good to deal with such serious things with good humor.” Jungkook chuckles. “I
most certainly wouldn’t be able to act like that…” he sighs, watching Moon as she runs freely not
too far from them.
“Oh, about that.” Taehyung lifts his head, staring at him.
Jungkook’s heartbeat immediately picks up in pace, his palms getting sweaty as if on command. “I
can explain.” he says with a gulp.
“Explain what?” the doctor blinks. “I just wanted to ask you if you’ve been doing alright, or if
you’ve been hiding something from me. Dropping an addiction from one moment to the other will
give you withdrawals at some point, they’re inevitable. I just want you to know that you’re not
alone in this, okay? If you feel nauseous, if you feel like you need help or anything, just tell me,
and we’ll figure it out, alright?”
Oh. “Right, yes, that’s what I was referring to. I meant that I can explain… how I have been having
some uh, symptoms, but they’re so light that I don’t— I didn’t see the need to tell you about them
so that you wouldn’t worry about it.” he scratches the back of his neck. “That’s all.”
“Hyungie…” Taehyung sighs. “You don’t have to hide things from me, I’ll worry about you either
way. It’s good that they’re light symptoms, but that’s really odd. Usually, people react terribly
when they try to simply drop their addictions like that. Maybe it’s because you keep yourself busy
with work, and me at home… I don’t know. I have no clue.”
“Yeah, well, I uhm, I don’t know.” Jungkook clears his throat. “Can we not talk about this…? You
know that I hate it.” he requests.
“Of course, I just wanted to check on you.” Taehyung smiles as he leans closer, nosing at
Jungkook’s jaw — he fails to see how the older man closes his eyes at the gesture, bottom lip
caught between his teeth. “Moon, don’t get too far.” Taehyung calls after her.
They both giggle when she rolls over some dead leaves on the floor, clearly having a good time.
“She’s so cute.” Jungkook coos. “She’s like… my child. Seriously, I feel like I birthed her myself.”
“What—?!” Taehyung laughs, and it’s such a beautiful sound that Jungkook just wants to keep
hearing it; over and over again. “That’d be a painful experience.”
“Oh, shut it.” Jungkook cackles, lightly slapping Taehyung’s thigh. He just keeps his hand there
afterwards, his self-control failing him.
“How did you get her, though? Isn’t her breed really expensive…? Or is she not a pure Golden? Is
she mixed?” Taehyung asks.
“She’s a pure one. I found her in some garbage can. I have no fucking clue of who would trash a
dog that could get them so much money if they sold it, but someone really did. She was so tiny and
thin, I feel like maybe they thought that she had been born with some disease or whatever, and that
she wouldn’t make it. I didn’t even have money for myself, but I fell in love with her as soon as I
picked her up, so I kept her… We’ve been living together ever since.” he explains.
“That’s so precious… No wonder you two are so connected.” Taehyung smiles, placing his hand
on top of Jungkook’s. Their fingers link as though they have a mind of their own, and Jungkook’s
eyes follow the movement.
He swallows, dry; body contact is suddenly way harder than it ever was.
Their conversation about Moon as a puppy drags out for a couple of minutes, only disrupted when
Jungkook spots something across the park. “There’s a hot chocolate van.” he points. “Do you want
a cup? I can go get you one.” his heart flutters when Taehyung’s eyes light up.
“If you don’t mind, that’d be lovely.” Jungkook gets up as he says so, dusting his palms. “Here,
take my card, I—”
“No, don’t worry, I got it.” Taehyung looks up, hesitating. “I told you that I’d be treating you to
things once I started getting paid right. I got paid yesterday, so let me treat you. Don’t say no, or
I’ll feel like a loser.”
“Okay.” the blonde smiles. “Hot chocolate with vanilla, please.” he requests.
“And love?” Jungkook offers, nervously shooting a shot that passes right through Taehyung, who
simply laughs as though it’s a joke, and grabs his phone.
“Always with love.” he says, careless.
Jungkook curses under his breath as he strides away, hands shoved in his pockets in a futile attempt
of keeping them warm. Being next to Taehyung isn’t the same as being on his own, and he can feel
the cold now that his only source of warmth is gone.
He feels something close to pride bloom in his chest, some sort of happiness, when he hands over
his card to pay for Taehyung’s hot chocolate without having to think three times about it; without
having to fear not having enough money for the transaction to be successful.
“Would you like to write a name? Maybe some cute message?”
“Can you… draw a heart?” he requests.
“Of course.” the worker nods, doing as asked.
“Thank you so much, have a good night.” Jungkook smiles, bowing to the older man once he gets
the cup handed to him. The hot chocolate warms his hands up, and he can’t wait to feed it to
Taehyung; maybe that’ll be a more direct hint.
His smile falters when he spots his jacket left alone on the floor, no sight of his best friend — his
eyes are frantic in the way that they hurriedly try to locate him, and he eventually does see that tuft
of blonde hair. Taehyung’s yelling after something that he can’t hear, and his heartbeat quickens
again. Is everything ok? Is Taehyung ok? Why is he yelling?
Jungkook’s steps pick up in pace. “Moon!” he’s finally able to understand what Taehyung’s calling
out for, and the cup falls from his hand as he starts running. “Moon! Come here!” the young man
yells with a shaky voice, looking around.
“Tae—”
“Hyung—!” he cries, holding onto Jungkook’s arms.
“What happened? Where’s Moon?” Jungkook asks, but the other can’t form a coherent sentence
and, as patient as Jungkook is, he can’t stand it right now. “Taehyung, please, where’s Moon?!” he
repeats, more desperate. “Please, breathe. Where is she? Tell me, please.”
“She— I was looking at her, and she uhm, she was playing— There was this smaller dog running
without a leash on, and they were just running after each other and then— Hyung— I’m so sorry, I
looked at my phone for one second and they were gone.” Taehyung sobs, laying his head on
Jungkook’s shoulder; the latter can’t even move to hug him back. “She’s gone, I’ve been calling
after her, but she’s not returning…”
“She…” the word drags out as Jungkook looks around, trying to assimilate the new information.
“Moon ran— She ran away?” he asks, his voice thin and eyes filling up with tears that he can
barely blink away. “She can’t— Tae, no, please, tell me that you’re joking.” it’s only when the
younger sobs again that he looks back at him; Taehyung looks one second away from a breakdown,
and Jungkook can’t let that happen. “Ok, uhm, let’s— let’s calm down, okay? Let’s just look for
her.”
“Hyung, I promise you that we’ll find her, I-I won’t give up on it.”
Jungkook can’t focus on that right now, he needs to get his dog back. “Let’s separate. You go that
way, and I’ll go this way… Call me if you find her.” he points as he speaks, already stepping back.
“I— I uhm, I’m sorry, I’m trying not to freak out so— I’m sorry, I’m not mad, but— but let’s just
go look for her.” he gulps. “Please.”
“Of course. Call me if you see her, too.” they both nod before turning around. And they do
separate then, both yelling after the missing dog as they leave a trail of tears on the way. They
arrived at the park already late at night, but it only gets later and later as they rummage the streets,
the panic increasing with each passing minute.
Jungkook can’t believe that such a thing really happened.
He starts losing hope when the clock hits three in the morning. He’s freezing, he can’t feel
anything on his face, and his fingers feel as though they might fall off any second now, despite
being shoved deep in his pockets. His throat hurts, too, and he can’t even yell her name anymore;
he also doesn’t want to bother those sleeping. It’s really late.
It’s hard to ignore the excruciating pain in his chest, but he has to turn around on his heels to return
to the park. He sends a text for Taehyung to do the same, his fingers barely able to move on the
screen with how cold they are; each breath he takes leaves a trail of fog that only makes him
hyperaware of how cold Taehyung must be as well.
“Hyung…” Taehyung whispers once they reunite, his bottom lip wobbling. “I-I walked so much,
but I couldn’t find her…” he voices, trying his hardest not to cry. Jungkook tries to smile, tries to
give him some sort of reassurance, but his lips don’t even twitch. He can’t believe that he just lost
his dog. His baby. His Moon.
“I couldn’t either.” his voice cracks, and he blames it on how cold his throat is. “Let’s go home.”
he tries to take a step away, but he’s held back by two firm hands on his forearms. “Tae—”
“Hyung, we can’t.” Taehyung shakes his head. “We must— We have to find her, she’s your— our
baby. We can’t give up on it, we’ll find her, w-we just have to continue looking for her.”
“Tae, your nose is all red, you’re pale, it’s so fucking cold.” Jungkook sighs. “She’s probably
hiding somewhere to get warm or— I don’t know, but we won’t find her tonight. Let’s just go back
home, c’mon. We’ll… keep trying tomorrow.” he sniffs, pulling Taehyung closer by throwing an
arm around his shoulders, which positively freezes his hand even more.
“But hyung—”
“Please, Taehyung, let’s go home.” the desperation in his voice is what makes Taehyung nod and
accept the decision, walking alongside him with absolutely no motivation to return to their
apartment. Jungkook’s still holding the leash, his fingers turning white from how tightly he’s
gripping it.
“I’m so sorry, hyung.” he still says.
Jungkook sighs, closing his eyes. “I’m sorry, I can’t do this right now, just— I need silence and my
bed. Please.” he whispers back, and Taehyung looks down, shutting his mouth as asked. It’s his
fault, so he’s not surprised by the fact that Jungkook doesn’t want to talk to him. He’s not surprised
that Jungkook is angry.
│►
Jungkook looks down at the man lying on his chest, still anxiously chewing on his bottom lip.
Taehyung’s breath has calmed down a few minutes ago already, so it’s safe to assume that he’s
managed to fall asleep, but there’s still a crease between his eyebrows. Jungkook sighs.
He carefully picks Taehyung’s head up, placing it on the pillow instead, and he takes his time
tucking him in with the covers so that he won’t get cold now that he’s alone. Once done, he tiptoes
his way out of the bedroom. The living room is empty, and it’s weird. When Moon isn’t sleeping
next to him, she’s in the living room. She should be there.
It’s roughly four in the morning and he hasn’t been able to fall asleep; especially not with the
soaking wet patch on his chest where Taehyung’s tears pooled while he waited for sleep to get the
best of him. He couldn’t get comfortable.
Jungkook goes to the kitchen first and foremost, getting one of the whiskey bottles that he has
hidden behind the cleaning supplies, and only then does he go to the couch. Moon’s leash is on top
of the center table — his hand shakes when he reaches for it.
He takes a long sip, looking down at the leash in his hand. The tears are immediate.
He can’t remember what it is like not to have his best friend. She’s been there for too long to even
consider being without her; she’s always there, be it just sitting or sleeping next to him, ready to
cuddle if he needs, ready to snuggle into him if she senses his distress. Moon has been listening to
him for years, and he can’t possibly believe that she’s suddenly gone.
The apartment feels empty, and it hasn’t even been two hours since he got back. Another sip. It
burns a little on its way down. He’s not used to drinking a lot anymore — not that he doesn’t drink,
but with Taehyung at home, he has to contain himself. He dreads the prospect of disappointing the
younger man.
Jungkook downs another quarter of the bottle before lying down, hugging the leash close to his
chest, and his tears don’t appear to be stopping any time soon. He has to cover his mouth with a
pillow to avoid sobbing too loudly; he doesn’t want Taehyung to see him like that.
He doesn’t want Taehyung to feel guilty, so he doesn’t want him to see how upset he really is.
Truth is, he’s beyond fucking devastated. He doesn’t even want to imagine how dull his days will
be without Moon by his side. He doesn’t want to think about it. It hurts too much.
His grip on the leash tightens, more tears flow down his cheeks.
And he’s taking another sip. And another one. It hurts. It hurts a lot.
│►
Taehyung turns around to cuddle back into the older man, only to be left disappointed when his
arms hit the mattress instead. He opens his eyes, confused. The clock on Jungkook’s bedside table
shows that it’s a little past five in the morning, so he’s not entirely sure why he’s alone in bed
already. Jungkook hasn’t left for work yet.
He gets up to look for him, and his chest tightens when he finds him sleeping on the couch,
eyelashes glued together by what Taehyung guesses are dried tears. Jungkook’s also holding
Moon’s leash against his chest, and Taehyung feels insanely guilty.
Had he stepped closer, he’d also see the empty bottle under Jungkook’s arm.
With determination, he returns to the bedroom to put on a hoodie — Jungkook’s, as he doesn’t own
any — and puts on a pair of shoes before grabbing his phone and heading out of the apartment. He
doesn’t leave a note, nor does he dare disturb Jungkook’s sleep.
He doesn’t care that it’s freezing outside, he lost Moon and he will find her. Jungkook is the most
amazing person that he’s ever met in his life, and he can’t possibly ruin what Jungkook cherishes
the most. He has to find Moon.
The walk to the park is filled with sleepy yawns and calls after Moon, hands rubbing against each
other inside the pocket of his hoodie. He doesn’t stop looking. Not when his body starts shaking
from the lack of warmth, nor when the sun starts peeking.
He’s already walked for about three hours, asking people if they’ve seen her, but the answers were
only disappointing. He approaches another young man, tapping his shoulder. “Hey, I’m sorry, have
you seen a dirty white— uhm, kind of beige, actually, Golden Retriever?” he asks.
The man cocks his head. “No, I’m sorry, I haven’t.”
Taehyung sighs. “Alright, thank you.” they bow to each other, and he doesn’t waste time before
walking away to approach someone else. “Hey, sorry, have you seen a big and— white Golden
Retriever running around? She has a collar, it’s—”
“I just left my apartment, I haven’t seen anything, I’m sorry.” Taehyung nods, eyes welling up once
again. He just walks away without another word, looking down at his feet for a few seconds. He
can’t believe that he allowed such a thing to happen.
Jungkook will never forgive him. He’ll never forgive himself.
Moon is gone, and so is his hope. He doesn’t know what to do.

│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 47 │►
Chapter Notes
Taehyung rubs his arms, his teeth chattering as the coldness starts getting a little too
overwhelming; unbearable. His eyebrows have a deeply set frown that doesn’t seem to be going
away any time soon, and his lips have curved down into a permanent grimace.
He has one of Jungkook’s hoodies on, pajama pants and the first shoes that he found — a pair of
slippers that does nothing to keep his feet warm. He’s cold. He’s unbelievably cold, to a point
where his fingers are beginning to hurt.
It’s past seven in the morning, so Jungkook has probably woken up already, but he’s made sure to
turn off all of his notifications so that he doesn’t worry the elder. It’s his fault, after all, and he
doesn’t want to go back home without Moon.
“E-Excuse me…” Taehyung calls, voice wearing thin. “Have you seen a dog running by, by any
chance? It’s a Golden Retriever, she’s a dirty kind of white… very big.” he explains as well as he
can, for the umpteenth time already.
“Oh, yes, I did, a few minutes back when I was on my way here.” Taehyung’s eyes follow the
stranger’s finger as he points to the other side of the park, but no signs of the dog. “Was the poor
guy lost? I would’ve kept him by my side if I had known that, I apologize.”
“Don’t apologize, you had no way of knowing.” he tries to smile. “Thank you so much, I’ll
continue my— my search…” the young man bows, saying something that Taehyung doesn’t really
register, but he does bow back, and thanks him one more time for good measure.
He turns around, ready to start running back to the park, when a hand wraps around his forearm,
making him turn back, confused. However, it’s not the young man as he had assumed. “Why are
you here this early, and by yourself?” Jungkook says right away. “I had to stalk your phone’s
location, I was so fucking worried, Taehyung.”
“He said that way— That young man saw Moon, so we… Yes, that’s it… The park.” Taehyung
mumbles incoherent words to himself, completely ignoring what the other just said, all the while
trying to pull away from his hand. His mind is all over the place, and he’s tired, and he’s cold.
Jungkook steps closer, reaching to hold his cheeks between his palms, making sure that Taehyung
is looking at him. “Don’t disappear ever again.” he says, voice shaking. “I called you so many
freaking times, Tae, don’t do this to me again, I was worried sick.” he whispers. “Please, stop
crying, too. It’s fine, please, I can’t stand seeing you like this.”
“No, it’s not freaking fine.” Taehyung stresses, his voice a little louder. “I know that you’re mad, I
can see in your eyes how you’re on the brink of tears as well, and I know that you probably want to
yell at me, and you can— you can yell at me. I did wrong. It’s ok for you to be mad, so just be mad
at me, but don’t keep it inside. I-I know that you hate me right now, you can—”
“Stop, Tae, stop.” Jungkook takes a step closer, his face crumbling. “I’d never be mad at you for
an accident, it’s not like you took her leash off and told her to run away. It was an accident, you
didn’t mean to let that happen. I’m not mad at you.” Taehyung just sniffs, shaking his head;
unbelieving. “Tae, please, I’m n—” he’s interrupted by a sob, and he feels his heart crack.
“We’ll find her, hyung, I promise you. I won’t stop looking for her— This is all my fault, and I
promise to bring her back, I-I’ll hand her back to you— I promise, hyung. I promise.” he stammers.
“I promise.”
Jungkook sighs, shoving his hands in his front pockets, head hanging low as he takes a step back
from him. “If she wanted to come back, she would.” he whispers. “If she was happy with me,
living with me, she wouldn’t even run away to begin with…” Taehyung blinks, mouth agape.
“No— What are you— No, she just ran after that smaller dog, they don’t think, they’re dogs.”
“She’s better off without me, Tae. It’s true, and we both know it. Maybe some rich dude will find
her now, and give her everything that I couldn’t, she’ll be happier.” he sniffs. “We should go
home, I have to go to work, and so do you. You’re in pajamas, your lips are blue and you’re pale as
fuck… You’re clearly freezing. Let’s go back.” Jungkook instructs with a waver in his voice that
Taehyung recognizes as a sign that he’s battling his tears as hard as he can.
Thus, why he reaches for his forearm, holding him in place. “That dog loves you, Jungkook, just as
much or more than you do her.” Taehyung reassures, but Jungkook doesn’t meet his eyes, instead
facing the floor; defeated, broken. He can only watch as Jungkook’s face morphs into something
else, easy and cold tears running down his cheeks.
And, just like that, he’s fully sobbing in the middle of the street. The blonde steps closer, hugging
him tight — as tight as he can, one hand going up and down the elder’s back.
“We’ll find her. I promise you. You have my word.” Taehyung whispers next to his ear, his other
hand going to the back of his head to thread his fingers through the black hair. “I promise you,
hyung. We’ll find her.”
“I-I’ve skipped so many meals so that she could eat, I’ve always— I’ve always tried my hardest
with her. She’s my— She’s my best friend, as pathetic as that may sound, and I’m— I couldn’t— I
—” he has to stop when he gets choked up, hands finally leaving his pockets, only to grip
Taehyung’s sweater. Well, his sweater that Taehyung is wearing.
“I’m so sorry for causing this, hyung. I promise that we’ll find her soon.” Taehyung whispers, eyes
closing. “Trust me on this…”
“You can’t promise me that… You can’t know, you don’t know. We can’t lie to each other, so
don’t lie to me right now to make me feel better about this.” Jungkook still says, words pained, his
voice breaking at the edges.
Taehyung nods, gulps. “You’re right, I don’t know, but I have a feeling. I won’t give up on trying
to find her, and I’m sure as heck that you won’t either. We’ll find her, I know that we will, and I
need you to remain positive.” Jungkook just cries into his shoulder without saying another word,
and the sniffs cut right through Taehyung’s heart. “I’m so sorry, hyung…”
“Let’s just go home, please…”
│►
Taehyung sits down behind his desk as he looks for his friend’s contact, pressing the call button
with a shaky, anxious hand. The dialing sound resonates inside of his head, seemingly so much
louder than it actually is, and his foot keeps nervously tapping the floor — he hasn’t been able to
settle, to calm down.
The phone rings exactly nine times before the call gets through. “Hey, Tae.” Jimin greets him right
away. “We saw each other just yesterday… Are you missing me already?” he jokes with a giggle,
completely unaware of the tension on Taehyung’s side of the call.
“Something close to it… Something bad happened.” Taehyung sighs.
“Oh—? What happened? Are you alright?”
“Yeah… I lost Moon last night, she ran away at the park while she was off leash. I spent hours
looking for her, but she’s really just— gone, and I wanted to ask if you can join me this afternoon. I
can’t stop looking for her. Jungkook’s giving up on it because he believes that if she ran away,
then it means that she was unhappy at home with him… I can’t let him think like that when it’s my
fault and not his. You can’t imagine how much he loves that dog.” Taehyung explains, voice a
little choked up. “I need to find her, and I’d really appreciate it if you could help me… it’s another
set of eyes, and— yeah.”
“Oh, Jesus, poor thing…” Jimin clicks his tongue, sympathetic. “I saw how he talked to her when
we went over, he obviously loves her a lot, I feel so bad…”
Taehyung looks down at his lap, eyes already brimming up with tears once again. “You can’t
imagine how broken he looked in the morning… I can’t forgive myself for this, I looked away for
one single second, one second, and she was gone. He loves Moon, that’s his baby, I can’t put my
arms down, I have to find her.”
“I’ll help you look for her, and I’ll get Hoseok to go with us, too.” Jimin answers his previous
question. “Don’t stress yourself too much, you need to keep your head clean for your job. I believe
that we’ll find her, I’m sure that we will.”
“But— But what if we don’t?” Taehyung inquires, a broken whisper. “Everything wrong— This is
all my fault. Everything is my fault. Everything that goes wrong in his life is actually my fault and I
don’t know how to feel about this. Gosh— I’ve been causing all of his problems lately, he’d be so
much better if—”
“Hey, no, don’t.” Jimin interrupts before he can finish his sentence. “You’re his best friend, just as
much as he is yours. It was an accident, you didn’t tell Moon to run away, and I’m very damn sure
that you’d never have allowed that to happen if you could have done something.”
“But she was under my watch, it was my responsibility to keep her safe. Jungkook must hate me
now, he’s just being nice about this by saying that he doesn’t.”
“Quite the opposite.” Jimin mumbles, incoherently.
Taehyung sniffs. “Sorry?”
“Nothing, I just meant that he doesn’t hate you, and I’m a hundred percent sure of that.” he
reassures. “We’ll meet after work, and we’ll look for her. I’ll call you once I’m off, okay?”
Taehyung sighs at that, leaning back on his chair. “Don’t let this get to you, alright? It’s Friday,
and we can spend the weekend looking for her. We will find her.”
“Yeah… Yeah, okay.” Taehyung whispers. “Thank you, Jiminie.”
“It’s nothing. I’ll see you soon. Love you.”
“You too.”
│►
Jungkook wipes his eyes one last time before sighing and pushing the door to the coffee shop open.
Eunjae is already cleaning the tables, as she always does as soon as she arrives, and she looks up
with a welcoming smile once she hears the small bell above the door. “Good morning, my friend.”
she greets.
“Hey.” Jungkook says with a low voice, not even lifting his head. He walks right past her to their
changing room, and his coworker just watches him retreat into the lockers, closing the door as he
does. She blinks, confused as to why his response was so unenthusiastic.
Eunjae just about counts the number of times that she hits her nails on the counter until the older
man comes out of the room again. “What happened?” she asks without wasting a single second.
Jungkook just sighs, still tying the apron behind his back. “Hey, what happened? Your eyes are
insanely red, so you either smoked a ton — which I’ll be sad if you did without me — or you’ve
been crying. So, tell me, what happened?”
“My dog…”
“Moon? What happened to that ball of fur? Is she sick?!”
“No, God, no. She uhm, she ran away.” he shares, voice still weak. “It’s not a good day for me,
please refrain from— Yeah, I’m not in a good mood, and I don’t want to be rude to you, so please
don’t trigger any dumb and regretful reactions out of me.” Jungkook sniffs, forcing a little smile
just so that it doesn’t sound all that impolite.
“Oh, shit…” Eunjae’s eyes widen impossibly more. “I’m so sorry, that must feel like shit. I saw
how you acted with her when I went over to your place.” Jungkook just sighs. “I’m really sorry, I
can help you look for her after we clock out… I have nothing to do, like, ever, so it’s not a
problem, and I’d love to help find her.”
“No, don’t bother. She wouldn’t have run away if she was happy at home with me. I just… I have
to let her be.” Jungkook tries to smile again, trying to mask the wetness to his eyes as he walks
behind the counter to serve himself a coffee.
Eunjae follows, feet heavy and fists balled up on her sides. “Listen—”
“No, I’m not listening. I don’t want to talk about it.” he cuts her off, fiddling with the coffee
machine as he waits for his mug to fill up, free hand resting on the counter. Silence settles,
Jungkook’s head hanging low to the front, chin almost touching his chest. He wants to cry again,
he needs to cry again.
His frame shakes. “Jungkookie…” Eunjae steps closer, placing a reassuring hand between his
shoulder blades before resting her head against his back. “Don’t cry… Did you know that dogs can
sniff like, really fucking well? She can sniff you, she may return on her own. She just went on a
little adventure, she’ll come back pregnant and stuff.”
“She can’t have babies… And she’s not returning, she’s not coming back. Why would she?”
“Because you’re her owner, and you’re fucking amazing. And—! And we can’t forget that there’s
also Taehyung there, so she lives in a very lovely and welcoming environment. There’s literally no
reason for her to not enjoy living with you, I saw the way that you treat her, and the way that she’s
always running after you everywhere you go. She’ll come back, I’m sure of it, Jungkookie.” she
argues, lifting her head from his back when he moves to turn around and towards her. “Do you
want a hug? I don’t like hugs, but I really want to give you one now…”
Jungkook doesn’t say anything, he just stares with teary eyes, and that’s enough for her to take
initiative: she wraps her arms around his middle, and her head on his chest. Jungkook quickly hugs
her back, though a little hesitant, easy tears rolling down his cheeks. “I’ve gone through so much
shit with her by my side…” he whispers. “I’ve spent so many nights talking to her as if she could
hear me. She’s seen me in my lowest, she’s my— Jae, she’s really my best friend, no matter how
stupid that may sound.”
“It’s not stupid… I think that it sounds cute.” she pulls away, looking up at him. “She will come
back.” Eunjae frowns as Jungkook’s eyes drop to the floor, unfocused. “Hey…?” he doesn’t really
say anything, only sniffs yet again, not even trying to wipe away the unstopping tears.
“Jungkookie, c’mon, dude, don’t cry. It’s fine, she’ll come back, it’ll be fine.”
Still, Jungkook remains unresponsive.
“You’re really worrying me now, please, look at me.” he does, forcing a little smile that she sees
right through. “I’m calling Taehyung, you can’t be working like this. Seojoon will understand, he’s
really nice, and he’ll be ok with you leaving.”
“No, it’s alright, I’m totally fine.” he lies.
“You’re sobbing in my arms, you’re not alright.” Eunjae sighs. “Sit down as I call Taehyung, I
don’t want you crying here like this, it makes me want to cry too, and that’s a hard thing to
achieve. You’re not going to stay here, I won’t let you work in this condition.”
“Don’t call him, he has more important things to deal with.” Jungkook tries. “I can— I can work
like this, let me just wash my face… I’ll be alright once I uhm, once I get freshened up.”
“I’m calling him, you’re out of your mind if you think that I’ll let you stay here crying your eyes
out as you serve muffins to old ladies. You’re going home, and you’re going with Taehyung. It’s
not up for discussion.”
Jungkook gulps. “Okay…”
│►
“Are you mad?” Taehyung asks in the silent car. Jungkook doesn’t spare him a single glance,
doesn’t say anything, doesn’t acknowledge the question; instead, he looks out of the window,
busing himself by watching the scenery being left behind. “You haven’t looked at me once,
hyung… Are you angry?”
“No.” Jungkook says, voice low and masked with something that Taehyung can’t comprehend that
well. If only Jungkook would even look at him; his eyes are terrible liars, and Taehyung knows for
sure that he’d be able to know what Jungkook’s thinking if he could just look at him. “I’m not.”
“I’m sorry.” Taehyung gulps. “I’m sorry if you didn’t want it to be me picking you up, I
understand that you must hate me immensely right now, because of what happened last night, so
I’ll drop you at home and— and uhm, I’ll leave you to it, I don’t want to bother you even m—”
“This is exactly why.” Jungkook interrupts, finally turning towards him once they stop at a red
light. “I don’t want you to see me like this because I don’t want you to feel guilty for what
happened, Taehyung. It’s not because I’m angry, it’s because I’m fucking sad and I can’t bear the
thought of you blaming yourself for a shitty accident that happened.”
“I still do.” Taehyung whispers. “I lost her, it’s my fault. You can’t forgive that, you can’t possibly
just—”
“But I can. I can.” he says, a little louder this time; exasperated. Taehyung can see the tears
brimming in his eyes. “It was an accident, and I can’t just suddenly hate you for that.” Jungkook
whispers, looking back outside of the window.
“I’m sorry.” Taehyung still repeats.
“Stop apologizing.” maybe it’s the coldness in his voice that has Taehyung swallowing dry and
nodding, focusing on the road as the light turns green again. He knows that Jungkook is hurting, he
can’t even imagine how much, so he can’t possibly be offended by his rude tone or sharp words.
He has all the right to be angry.
The drive is silent after that, Jungkook doesn’t look back at him and Taehyung doesn’t try to
engage in any other conversation, respecting Jungkook’s will to be quiet. “We’re here.” he informs
once he parks in front of the building, turning to the side to face the older man. “Koo, can you
please look at me?” and he does, his eyes bloodshot red, clearly trying his hardest not to cry. “You
don’t have to hide your emotions from me.”
“I’m not trying to. I’m just really tired.” he sniffs. “My head hurts.” Jungkook tries to smile, though
his friend can see right through it. It doesn’t reach his eyes, and it doesn’t light up his entire face,
so it’s not a real Jungkook smile. “We should head in. I don’t want you to leave, I’m not bothered
by the fact that you picked me up. I don’t want you to just drop me off and leave. I’d be happy if
you stayed here.” he says, words careful, regarding what Taehyung said moments prior.
“Okay.” Taehyung whispers. “I can stay.” he smiles, unlocking the doors for them to leave the car.
Jungkook unbuckles his seatbelt with yet another sniff, not saying another word.
That, until he puts one foot out of the car. “Holy—” he freezes, unbelieving. “Oh, my fucking
God.” Taehyung’s startled, and confused, when Jungkook slams the door shut and leaves in a rush.
He tries to follow, only to see him running towards the building.
Taehyung makes sure to lock the car before picking up speed to run after his friend and maybe try
to understand what’s gotten into him. “Oh.” his eyes widen. “Gosh, no way—!” he smiles,
watching as Jungkook kneels down, embracing the animal whose tail moves from side to side in
evident euphoria. “Hyung…” he approaches them with a grin, heart tugging in his chest at how
audible Jungkook’s sobs are.
His nose is buried in Moon’s fur, her front paws over his shoulders. It’s a weird hug, Taehyung
must say, but it’s also extremely adorable.
“I told you, hyung. I told you that she’d come back.” Taehyung says as he kneels by them, one
hand caressing Moon’s head while the other trails up and down Jungkook’s back in a reassuring
manner; he doesn’t like seeing Jungkook cry, even if some of his tears might just be of happiness.
Still, they’re also panicked and frustrated ones, and Taehyung doesn’t like that one bit.
Jungkook doesn’t answer, he can’t even speak, and he simply focuses on the large dog in his arms.
Taehyung massages his back for a few minutes, unwilling to disturb them as he understands just
how overwhelmed and exhausted Jungkook must be feeling, but he can see two of their neighbors
parking their cars and they’re kneeling right by the front door. “We should head upstairs… C’mon,
let’s go, hyung.” he stands up, trying to help Jungkook to do the same, though he dismisses his
hands in order to hug Moon even tighter so that he can pick her up in the same awkward position.
Taehyung blinks. “Isn’t she really heavy? Are you going to carry her up the stairs?”
“I’m not putting her down, I can’t risk leaving her.” he says, firm, head jerking towards the door
for Taehyung to lead the way. “I’ll be fine, there aren’t that many steps, to begin with.” Taehyung
just nods, because he can tell that he won’t be able to talk Jungkook into putting her down for the
sake of his back, and reaches for the keys in his bag. “How did she fucking find her way back by
herself…” he questions rhetorically.
“They can smell really well, you know that.” Taehyung shrugs. “Besides, she’s a smart girl, so
combine the two. She came after your smell, must’ve sniffed you from the park, I don’t know. You
can’t possibly think that she’s not happy after this, she came back for you. She loves you.”
Jungkook sniffs, jumping a little to push her higher up in his arms.
Moon looks around, not that fond of the height.
“I promise to never walk her again.” the blonde says, more to himself than anything, but Jungkook
can hear it. “I’m really happy that she came back, w—”
“Tae, stop blaming yourself, alright? It was an accident, and she’s back, so… let’s just forget that
this happened. I don’t want you to feel guilty, there’s no need for that. You didn’t do it on purpose,
and you couldn’t have done anything to prevent it. I’m exhausted, I’m insanely worn off and, I
know that it’s barely ten in the morning, but I need to go lie down and, hopefully, sleep the whole
day.”
Taehyung holds the door open for him. “Of course, I’m sorry, I don’t want to bother you with this
any longer. I’m sorry.”
“Tae—” but he sighs, defeated, simply stepping inside. He’s too tired to continue repeating the
same thing over and over again. Once he’s rested, he’ll be happy to reassure Taehyung that he’s not
upset and that it wasn’t his fault, but his mind is still all over the place and he still feels like he
might have dissociated earlier, so he truly needs to rest before resuming this kind of conversation.
Taehyung watches him leave for the bedroom, Moon still in his arms, and close the door behind
himself. Not all the way, though; only enough for Taehyung to know that he wants to be alone for
now. He sighs, sitting down on the couch. He’s really tired, too.
│►
“Hey, Jiminie…” Taehyung says as soon as the call gets through. “I’m sorry that I didn’t call you
earlier, I’ve been looking after Jungkook hyung… Moon came back, thus why we didn’t go look
for her, but he’s still very unresponsive even though he’s happy about it. I’m just looking after him
now, and making sure that they’re doing alright.”
“She’s returned? Oh, my God, that is such amazing news!” Jimin squeals. “I’m so happy and
relieved, Tae. I can’t imagine how much he’s going through right now, he was so helpless and
suddenly she’s back, I’d be all over the place, too.” he sympathizes. “Have you had dinner yet?”
“I’ve eaten something, but hyung hasn’t left the bed…” Taehyung sighs. “I asked him whether he
wanted to sit at the table, or just eat in bed and I’d bring him some food, a sandwich or whatever,
and he just shook his head. He didn’t even look at me. He’s been cuddling Moon in bed ever since
we got home in the morning. I’m scared that he may fall asleep, that’s why I keep checking in on
him.”
“Oh—? Why can’t he fall asleep…?”
“I mean, he can, I just… I have to uhm, kind of be there with him. It’s a long story, and I can’t
really tell you about it, it’s something very personal to him.”
“Okay, I get it, it’s okay. Try to get him to eat something since he hasn’t moved yet, he’s probably
starving. He’s found her, and she’s safe, so he should slowly get back to himself soon, maybe food
would help…”
“You’re right, I’ll try again.” Taehyung nods, tugging his hair back. “I’m sorry for only calling
now, by the way. I should’ve reached out sooner.”
“Don’t stress about it. I was getting a bit worried, but it’s all good, I understand that it’s been a
hectic day.” Jimin dismisses. “Hobi just finished dinner, so I’ll get going for us to eat, if that’s
okay with you…”
“Yes, of course, Jiminie. I’ll call you tomorrow.” they utter a few last words before ending the call,
a mixture of ‘love you’s and ‘take care’s. Taehyung puts his phone in his pocket afore making his
way to the bedroom. The lights are now turned off and, since the window is closed, it gets hard to
see anything past his nose.
He has to use his phone’s brightness to check whether his best friend is asleep or not, only to find
him with his eyes closed. Oh, no. He whispers after Jungkook’s name, trying to figure out if he is,
indeed, sleeping or still conscious, but gets no reply. His breathing is calm, there’s no crease
between his eyebrows, and so Taehyung guesses that it’s safe to assume that he’s not having any
unpleasant dreams.
Taehyung turns the flashing on, frowning as he takes in the sight: Moon is all spread out in bed,
cuddled by her owner, but it leaves no space for him to fit in with them. He doesn’t want to wake
them up, though, so he just kneels down next to the bed, by Jungkook’s side.
If he leaves, the older man may get long forgotten memories back, and he most surely doesn’t want
that to happen. He knows how tough it is for Jungkook to have those dreams, he knows how hurt
and affected he gets by them so, if Taehyung can do something, anything at all, for him to not have
to go through that, he will.
Especially if it only requires his presence. He will stay there, no doubt.
He takes his hand to Jungkook’s hair, running his fingers through it as he sits back on his heels,
unsure if he should wake Jungkook up or just let him be. He can’t disturb them, not right after the
dog came back, he has to let them enjoy their night cuddling. So be it.
He’ll kneel by his side instead.
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 48 │►
Chapter Notes
Hi! I know the previous update was very poor and this one isn't that great either )): but
try to bear with it! The next one shall be better, I promise! <3
Jungkook groans as he stretches his achy limbs, Moon scooting away just the slightest as she, too,
stretches her paws — which grants her a few belly rubs once she rolls over onto her back, legs in
the air. “Hey, my little baby…” he whispers, kissing the top of her head twice before finally being
able to register the hand on his own hair. He rolls over, only to take a hand to his chest, startled.
“Jesus fucking— You’ve scared the living shit out of me.”
“Hi…!” Taehyung’s eyes are half-closed, his hand moving almost robotically to play with
Jungkook’s messy hair. The bags under his eyes are deep, really deep.
Jungkook sits up right away. “Did you stay up all night? Ignoring how creepy you look right
now… Did you sleep at all?” he asks, inspecting Taehyung’s tired features. He looks exhausted,
and Jungkook already knows the answer to his own question.
Taehyung smiles, however. “Are you ok?” he asks.
“I slept so well that I feel great, but you look like a zombie, Tae.” the elder accuses, though he
means no harm. “Tae, did you—”
“No, no. I mean… inside, are you better, I mean, feeling, mentally. Are you ok, on the inside…?”
Taehyung says as he gestures towards Jungkook’s chest, and the latter looks down, furrowing his
brows in visible confusion. “Here…” he pokes his chest through the thin fabric of his shirt.
“You can’t even form a coherent sentence— Did you sleep?” Jungkook asks once again, placing
one of his hands on the side of Taehyung’s cheek. He watches, enamored, as the younger man
leans into the touch, eyes fluttering closed for a few seconds. He’s still wearing Jungkook’s
hoodie, and he just looks adorable like this. “Please, answer my question…”
“I couldn’t fit in bed, but I also couldn’t leave you alone because of your nightmares… I just stayed
here by your side, played with your hair the whole night. Actually, I did play some games on my
phone, but it died a few hours ago, so I’ve just been… here.” he explains, voice dragged; tired.
“Did you seriously just stay awake, sitting there, so that I wouldn’t have a nightmare?” his heart
just about bursts when Taehyung gives him a nod, lips pulled into a small, tired pout. “Why
couldn’t you just kick me to the side and slip in? Or— Or get Moon to go to the floor or the foot of
the bed. I can’t believe you, you haven’t slept in two days… Please, go to bed.”
“You worried me last night. You didn’t eat or talk, so I had to make sure that you were ok…”
“I’m fucking ecstatic, Taehyung, please go to sleep.” he watches in absolute disbelief as the
younger man just nods and closes his eyes, slumping more against his hand. Jungkook ends up
having to use his strength to actually keep Taehyung’s head up. “On the bed, not my hand.”
“Tell me… Are you sure that you’re ok?” Taehyung opens his tired, red eyes to look up at him,
who furrows his brows even more.
“Yes, I’m very sure. Please, go to sleep, my God…” Jungkook pulls back the covers, shooing
Moon away so that she gets up from the bed to give space for Taehyung. “Come here, lay down,
I’ll cuddle you to sl—”
“No, hyung, I mean, on a scale of one to ten—”
“Fucking forty-three, Taehyung, come to bed right now.” Jungkook points to the bed, but it doesn’t
grant him the reaction that he was hoping for. “You either come, or I’ll have to pick you up
myself.” he half-threatens, worry spilling from his every word. “Please.”
Taehyung rubs his eyes, pouting. “That’s really not on the scale… Can you please take this
seriously, hyungie?” he requests, and he sounds so whiny that Jungkook has to do his best not to
coo. “I’m very worried about it.”
“Okay, I’ll take it very seriously. From zero to ten, I’d say an eight right now, because I’m really
sad and bothered that you didn’t sleep because of me. You also didn’t sleep yesterday as you were
looking for Moon, so I can’t imagine how exhausted you must be. I’d feel better, I’d even say I’d
be a full ten, if you went to sleep.”
Taehyung’s lips curve down, sad, before he nods. “I have a solution…” he informs as he lays down
right then and there, on the floor, pulling the rug over himself. Jungkook can only stare, mouth
agape and unbelieving.
He blinks. “Tae, I’m going to cry. Please, come to bed.” but he receives no answer, only silence,
and he can see Taehyung’s chest moving ever so slowly; up and down, with no rush. “Tae?” he
calls, confused, leaning closer to pry the rug away from his body, and his face shifts into a frown
once he realizes that Taehyung really just fell asleep like that.
Jungkook can’t imagine how tired he must’ve been to go out like a light the second that his head
was able to rest, even if on the uncomfortable floor. He sighs as he gets up, pulling the covers from
the bed to get them over the blonde man, not wanting to wake him up. He also gets the pillow, and
carefully places it under his head.
Then, he tucks him in, makes sure that the covers and blankets keep him warm and comfortable, as
much as possible, and presses a little kiss to his forehead. “Sleep well, you dummy…” Jungkook
smiles to himself, combing the hair away from Taehyung’s eyes; he allows one of his fingers to
then caress his soft cheek, wishing that he were able to touch more, caress more. “So cute.” he
mumbles before pushing himself off from the floor, and heads out of the bedroom at last.
Moon follows him eagerly, sitting by the front door with her tongue out. Jungkook smiles at her,
patting her soft head. “Do you want to go out? Hm? Do you want to go for a walk?” he asks with a
high-pitched voice, Moon’s tail wagging violently. “Bitch, no way. After that shit that you pulled,
you’re not seeing the outside world for at least three years. Sit your ass down.” he instructs, smile
disappearing. “You’ll be peeing on pee mats, you’re not seeing the sun ever again.”
He turns around to go to the kitchen, halting when the dog whines.
He turns back to her. She whines again. Jungkook’s a weak man. “Fine. But we’re only going
downstairs, and I’m not letting you off your leash. You’re grounded for as long as we live.”
│►
Jungkook throws one leg over the couch, bored out of his mind; his phone has been carelessly
thrown to the coffee table at the center when it stopped being entertaining, the television isn’t
showing anything interesting, and he’s starting to miss Taehyung’s presence, but the
aforementioned is still asleep.
He huffs, eyes moving to Simba, who insists on biting Moon’s ears, even if the poor kitten already
knows that it will grant him a paw to the head sooner than later, and maybe even a playful bite that
will cause no harm. That’s entertaining enough, Jungkook deems.
His head lifts up from the couch when the doorbell rings, and he quickly reaches for his phone to
check whether someone warned him that they’d be going over. No, there aren’t any texts or calls,
only a few notifications that he still ignores and puts the phone back down to get up before Moon
starts barking.
“What in the world are you doing here?” he asks, surprised, as soon as he opens the door.
Eunjae smiles. “I was bored as fuck at home, so I thought I should come here and keep you
company, dude.” she explains as she steps inside, right past him, only to halt and let out a surprised
sound when she sees the large animal sitting by them. “Oh! You got her back! The puppy is back!”
she comments, loud, as she kneels on the floor to play with Moon. Jungkook shushes her. “What
—”
“Tae’s sleeping, don’t wake him up.” Eunjae frowns, pulling her sleeve up to check her wrist
watch, and gives him a questioning look. “He didn’t sleep at all last, nor the night before, just let
him be, let him sleep for as long as he needs.” he defends. “Just don’t be loud. I feel guilty enough
for keeping him up.”
His friend smirks. “And how exactly did you keep him up?” Jungkook pinches the bridge of his
nose, sighing. “Right, he hasn’t realized that he’s in love with you yet, so you two didn’t fuck as I
would’ve hoped to hear. I’m sorry, I just wanted some juicy news.” she apologizes as she sits down
on the floor, one hand playing with Simba as the other plays with Moon.
Jungkook frowns, plopping himself on the couch. “He’s not in love with me.”
“Just a few days ago, it felt impossible for you to be in love with him, and yet here we are, so don’t
discard this possibility, either.” she argues. “You can’t be so negative— I mean, alright, he may not
be… completely in love with you, but there’s definitely something there.” Eunjae stands up, Simba
in her arms, only to sit next to him. “Do you have any idea of how worried he sounded when I
called him? And he got there in, like, two seconds. He drops everything for you, whenever it’s
needed.”
“That’s because he’s a good friend.” Jungkook sighs, looking down. “I don’t want to talk about
this, so can we please just— not? I was going to watch a movie, suit yourself if you want to join
me, but if you were looking for something more entertaining, then you’ve knocked on the wrong
door.”
“I’m definitely staying, a movie sounds perfect.” she puts the pet away when Simba starts debating
in her arms. “Can I go to the kitchen really quickly while you pick the movie?” Jungkook just
waves her off, watching as she kicks her shoes off by the door before running to the kitchen. He
focuses on going through the movie list, trying to find something mildly interesting.
Eunjae returns with a bag of chips, already munching on some. “Can it be horror?” he asks.
“Can I cuddle you?” Jungkook meets her eyes with visible hesitation, but he ends up nodding after
a few seconds of weighing the pros and cons — Seokjin always cuddles him during horror movies,
and he loves cuddling Taehyung, so he’s not about to reject cuddles now. “If I can, then yes, it can
be horror.”
“Then I’ve picked the one.” he informs, allowing her to lift his arm up so that she can rest her head
against his torso. He’s not very sure of what to do with his hand, not wanting to risk being rude or
anything, but ends up just wrapping his arm around her as she continues munching on her chips.
“Do you think that Taehyung would be upset… or jealous, if he saw us cuddling?” she asks,
amused.
Jungkook chuckles. “Tae didn’t care that I was dating Yun, even helped me plan the first date and
everything… So, no, he wouldn’t be upset. Or jealous.” he has to swat her hand away when she
tries to pinch his cheek. “Stop making me think about my unrequited feelings for him, please,
you’re deeply upsetting me.”
“You’re literally smiling, dude.”
“I’m smiling because you’re stupid.” Jungkook argues, letting out a pained laugh when she slaps
his abdomen. “That one hurt, you b—” he stops himself
Eunjae gasps, pulling back. “Were you about to call me a bitch?”
“Depends. Would you be upset if I said yes?”
She squints, but shrugs and lays back down. “No, I kind of love that word. Just put the damn movie
on already, we don’t have the whole day.”
“Be respectful, you brat.” Jungkook scolds, but she knows that he’s not really bothered by her
antics. He presses play on the movie, leaving the controller on the coffee table. “Were you that
bored that you thought that it’d be any good to come to the most boring person ever?”
“We can be boring together this afternoon.” Eunjae shrugs. “You’re like, the only friend that I have
that feels like an actual friend right now. Everyone else my age just… they’re not really the kind of
people that I’d like to hang out with.” she explains, tone sad. “And you’re not boring, I enjoy your
presence a lot… you make me laugh, and you’re entertaining.”
“Is anyone giving you a hard time?” he looks down at her. “Your friends, I mean.”
“No, no… I just don’t think that we’re really that compatible. I always come up with excuses not to
hang out with them, and I don’t feel comfortable in their presence. I don’t really know why I feel
that way, but I know that I shouldn’t feel like this towards my friends so, for that reason, I’d much
rather hang out with you. A friend that also makes me comfortable.”
“Well, thanks. That’s very sweet of you.” Jungkook smiles, running his fingers mindlessly through
her hair; he can see that she’s upset, and he doesn’t like it. “You’re only nineteen, by the way. It’s
normal to feel this way, especially when you’ve gotten out of high school fairly recently… We
change our groups of friends multiple times throughout life. I’ve had so many friend groups before,
and none of them stuck, because sometimes people just don’t work out in the long run. I literally
don’t have any contact left with people from high school who I thought would be my friends for
life. This is normal, and you’ll find your real friends eventually, don’t worry too much.” he
reassures, trying to be of help.
“Thanks, dad.” she jokes, laughing when Jungkook makes an obnoxious puking sound.
“Fuck off, I’m not helping you ever again.”
“I’m joking, that was actually really rea—”
“No, you’ve lost me.”
“I’m sorry—”
│►
“How much should I add?” Eunjae asks, holding the bag of chili flakes. “I like spicy food, can I
add a lot or do you not like it? Maybe Taehyung doesn’t, actually, I don’t know.”
“I do love spicy food, too, but Tae’s not very fond of it. Just add a normal amount, and then we can
add more separately to our plates once they’re on the table, if you don’t mind. He—” they both
turn back when they hear footsteps approaching. Jungkook smiles, watching as his best friend
comes into view, rubbing one of his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie. He looks adorable, his
blonde hair a mess from sleeping for so long.
“Hey, you.” Eunjae greets. “How lovely seeing you.”
Taehyung just then seems to acknowledge her presence, one eye still a little closed. “Hey, there.”
he smiles, bowing. “Good morning, hyung…” Jungkook shares a loom with his coworker, both
staring right back at him. “Oh? Is it lunch time already? It smells amazing.” he praises as he takes a
few steps closer to the stove, inhaling the appetizing aroma.
“It’s almost nine, it’s dinner time. We’re cooking dinner.” Eunjae informs.
Taehyung’s eyes widen; it’s almost comical. “Why would you let me sleep this much?! Oh, my
God, I get that it’s Saturday, but I shouldn’t have slept so much… Why would you let me sleep like
this? And why was I on the floor?”
Eunjae’s eyebrows shoot up. “Why was he on the floor?”
Jungkook looks between the both of them. “You were so tired that you weren’t even thinking
properly, you were quite literally shutting down. That’s why I let you sleep in until now. And, to
answer the question, you were on the floor because when I told you to sleep, you just laid down
and covered yourself with the damn rug. You just passed out right there, just like that…” Taehyung
blinks. “You don’t remember? Do you even remember talking to me this morning?”
“To be honest, no, I don’t really remember that.” Taehyung chuckles. “I was really tired, I
suppose.” Eunjae focuses back on her carrots, trying not to stare at them, but she’s not strong
enough to keep her eyes away when she notices Jungkook stepping closer to the younger man; she
can only watch him combing his blonde bangs away, hand them cupping Taehyung’s soft cheek.
“You look more rested now.” Jungkook comments, inspecting his features with a warm look in his
eyes. “The bags under your eyes are mostly gone, that’s good… but you should go back to bed
after we eat, you didn’t sleep for a really long-ass time, you need to rest well.”
“I’m not tired, though…” Taehyung pouts. “I’ll only go to bed after dinner if you join me.” Eunjae
has to cover her mouth to keep a shriek in, but Jungkook sees it, so he makes sure to squint at her.
She mouths an apology, looks back down at the carrots.
“You’ve got yourself a deal, then.” Jungkook agrees, anyway. “Now, come here.” Taehyung
follows eagerly, watching as the older man dips a spoon in the sauce, and lifts it up to his mouth
for Taehyung to taste. “Careful, it’s hot…” he warns.
“Hm— It’s really good, hyung.” Taehyung praises.
“Th—”
“It was actually me who did most of the job, but sure, compliment him instead.” Eunjae complains,
trying to bite away a smile, eyes on the carrot once again.
“My most sincere apologies.” Taehyung teases. “Good job to you, it’s very tasty.” that seems to do
it, her lips curving up in a pleased smile. “It’s nice seeing you here, did you just suddenly decide to
visit?”
“Yeah, I was really bored at home, so I decided to come by.” she explains, shrugs. “Jungkook may
act like he’s too cool for school, or like he doesn’t care, but he’s the biggest softie ever on the
inside. He thinks that he has us fooled, but we see right through him.”
“I would agree—”
“Right, that’s enough.” Jungkook interrupts, clearing his throat, but his cheeks give away the effect
that the words have in him — they turn a light shade of pink. “We should set up the table instead of
talking about his nonsense.”
“But she’s very right, you’re the best guy ever.” Taehyung teases him further, punching a little
laugh out of the youngest in the room. Eunjae truly does enjoy taunting Jungkook, and Taehyung
teaming up with her makes it even funnier.
“I know, right, he’s—”
“I’m leaving you two.”
│►
Jungkook sits down in bed as he watches his best friend lazily fix his hair in front of the mirror,
combing it now that it’s dried from the shower that he just took. Jungkook can only stare at
Taehyung’s reflection, unable to stop himself from admiring just how insanely beautiful the latter
is. His features are so soft, yet so sharp, and Jungkook couldn’t point out a flaw even if he tried his
hardest to find one.
Taehyung meets his eyes through the mirror when Jungkook gets up and walks closer to him, only
to wrap his arms around his waist, chin resting on his shoulder. Taehyung giggles, still focused on
combing his hair as he doesn’t see any reason to push Jungkook away. It gives him hope, and hope
is a really sad, devastating thing.
He worries at his bottom lip, trying to gather his courage, but does end up pressing a little kiss on
the side of Taehyung’s neck. The younger man smells amazing, his cologne mixed with coconut
body wash, and it makes him almost dizzy. His skin feels soft under Jungkook’s lips, and he has to
contain his urge to just kiss him again, and again.
“That tickles…” Taehyung giggles, Jungkook’s hair brushing on the side of his neck. Jungkook
only smiles, his arms still around the younger’s waist. They stay like that for a little longer, and
Taehyung only gently pushes him away when he’s done with his hair, putting his brush down.
“Shall we head to be?”
“Mhm.” Jungkook nods, motioning with his hand for him to lead the way. They lay down facing
each other, both silently looking into each other’s eyes. Jungkook smiles. “Tell me something.” he
whispers, unwilling to completely break the silence.
Taehyung scoots closer. “What do you want to know?”
Jungkook shrugs; he’s not really sure. “Just something about yourself, I guess. Something about
your life, a story from when you were little… a funny story, I don’t know. I just want to know you
better, I want to know— everything.” he requests.
“Okay… Uhm… When I was five years old, my dad taught me how to ride a bike, and he had
this… I don’t remember exactly, but he was doing something else in our garage, so he took his eyes
off of me for just one second. I thought that I had it, I thought that I could show it to him, you
know?” he giggles, and it brings an automatic smile to Jungkook’s lips. “I fell almost immediately,
broke both my hand and my arm. That wasn’t pretty, and I cried a lot…”
“Oh, shit.” Jungkook laughs, light and bubbly. “That sounds like it hurt like a bitch.” Taehyung
lifts his arm to show a small little scar on his wrist. “I’ve never noticed that before, it’s so tiny.”
Jungkook comments, running his finger over the little mark.
“I was tiny, too.” Taehyung puts his arm back under the covers. “It’s your turn, now.”
“My turn?” Jungkook chuckles, turning a little more towards him. “I don’t have a funny story
about how I learned to ride a bike, I did it by myself so that I could teach my sister.” he looks
away, his smile filled with nostalgia. “I remember trying to teach her when I could barely do it
myself, she fell a shit ton of times, but we laughed a lot.”
“I’m really curious about you.” Taehyung admits, his smile slowly fading. Their eyes meet once
again, and he can tell that Jungkook’s not surprised to hear that. “I feel like… I feel like there’s still
so much about you that I don’t know yet, there are still so many parts of your past that I have no
idea of. It makes me feel really curious and, just as you do, I also want to know about you.”
Jungkook takes a second to think about it. “Okay…” he nods, giving in; Taehyung showing interest
in him is a good sign, right? “What do you want to know?” he repeats Taehyung’s question, unsure
of what to say.
“Whatever you’d like to share. Whatever you feel comfortable sharing.”
“Well… I lost my sister when I was thirteen, as you already know. She took a shit ton of pills just
like the internet told her to — which angers me so much, because why the fuck can you even find
these things there? She was a kid, and if my laptop wasn’t right there, she wouldn’t have—” he
closes his eyes, breathes in; he’s done blaming himself for what happened, so he needs to stop
before he goes on a tangent. “My mom passed away a few weeks prior to that day. She had
something in her lungs, I don’t remember the name of it, but it made it very hard for her to
breathe…”
“You don’t have to go on.” Taehyung whispers, because even if he’s curious, he can’t stand seeing
the pain in Jungkook’s expressive eyes.
“No, let me…” Jungkook gulps. “The disease was treatable, but we didn’t have the money to pay
for the medicines nor the hospital bills, so uhm, she died only a few weeks after her diagnosis.
She’d cough blood all the time, she got weaker and weaker, I had to take care of her and my sister
because— my shitty ass father wouldn’t lift a finger to help, and only made it even harder for her.
She got… She got really thin and frail, and it was really scary.” he looks down when Taehyung
reaches for his hands to hold, and it relaxes him in a way that he never thought possible;
Taehyung’s touch is relaxing, reassuring, without the need for words.
Taehyung caresses the top of his hand, listening attentively.
“Then yeah, my dad disappeared after my sister passed away. Like, seriously, he didn’t tell me that
he was leaving, he just… never came back. The last time that I saw him was at my sister’s funeral,
and I haven’t heard from or of him ever since. I’m happy with that, he terrified me. Still— Still
does.”
Taehyung gapes, processing the information. “You were all alone… at thirteen?” he whispers. The
older man just sighs; he’s not bored or annoyed, just not quite loving the memories that come
flooding in uninvited.
“I waited for three days before accepting and realizing that he wasn’t coming back, and that yes, I
was alone. I uhm, I didn’t really know what to do, I was just a kid, but I was happy being by myself
because, for the first time, I was going to bed without being afraid of waking up to screams or— or
crying.” his bottom lip wobbles, and Taehyung wants to put a stop to it, but the elder goes on
before he has the chance to. “I eventually ran out of food, as I didn’t have money to get anything,
and I… I went to his brother, my uncle, and moved in with him. He hated my guts, always had, so I
got the same treatment… probably even worse, actually. It was really rough, and I was an asshole
in high school because I just couldn’t stand anything, I was angry all the time, and I couldn’t stand
being— alive.”
“Hyung…”
“It’s okay. I ran away at eighteen and I’ve been on my own ever since, figuring my shit out day by
day. It was really fucking tough from that point on, but that’s a story for another day.” he finishes,
only then brave enough to meet Taehyung’s expectant eyes.
Taehyung can see all the memories behind his eyes, how overwhelmed Jungkook must be feeling,
and he can’t possibly question him further, can’t let him go on. The past two days have been hard
on them, with Moon’s disappearance, he can’t let Jungkook hit a low again.
That’s enough information for the night, he concludes, so he leans closer to place a sweet kiss on
the tip of Jungkook’s nose — he goes cross-eyed as he follows Taehyung’s lips, wishing that they
were touching a little lower than his nose. “I’m sorry that all of that happened to you.” he whispers.
“But I’m here for you, and I’ll always be here if you want to talk. Thank you for trusting me, thank
you for sharing this much, and thank you for never giving up. I appreciate your existence more
than you can imagine, and I’m glad that you stayed.”
Jungkook knows what he’s referring to, and it makes him want to cry. “I’ve really wanted to give
up so many times throughout my life.” he whispers, eyes welling up.
“I know.” Taehyung whispers. He didn’t necessarily know, but it doesn’t come off as a surprise,
and he doesn’t want to say something wrong. “I’m here now, hyung, and I’ll do everything that I
can to make sure that you never feel that way again.”
“I know, too.” Jungkook smiles, bringing Taehyung closer. “I know, and thank you for that, I lo—”
he interrupts himself with a forced cough, thanking God for being able to stop. “It means a lot to
me.” he fixes. “Do you mind if we…” he drags out.
“Drop the topic?” Taehyung completes it for him, and he nods. “Of course. We should sleep.
Thank you for trusting me with this piece of you.” he leans away to turn off the lights, only to
smuggle against his chest once he’s back. Jungkook closes his eyes, embracing him with both of
his arms. He loves it. It’s warm, comfortable, and it feels just like home.
Having Taehyung in his arms like this feels just like home.
│►
Taehyung walks into the kitchen with a big pout on his lips, and his eyes half-closed. “What are
you doing here…?” he whines, getting his best friend’s attention. “You said that you were going to
pee, and the bed is starting to get cold.”
Jungkook turns to him with a laugh. “You sound cute when you whine.” he teases. “I did go pee,
but then came here to cook some ramen, I got hungry… I thought that you had fallen asleep, so I
didn’t go back to let you know.”
“You’re cooking ramen at three in the morning…?”
“Ramen tastes the best when you eat it in the middle of the night.” Jungkook defends. “I’m not
sleepy, and I got hungry, so what else could I possibly cook at this time? Ramen sounded perfect,
so here I am.” he shrugs.
“In that case, add another pack for me.” he requests with a little smile as he walks to the counter,
only to sit himself on top of it as Jungkook goes through the cabinets to get another packet.
“Hyungie?” he calls.
“Yeah?” Jungkook gives him a questioning look, using his teeth to open the package so that he can
add it to the pot of boiling water.
“What do you usually do for Christmas? It’s getting closer…” Taehyung asks, his feet dangling in
the air as the counter is a little too high for him to touch the floor.
Jungkook chuckles. “I hate Christmas, it’s probably one of the worst times of the year.” he shares.
“I don’t do anything, I don’t celebrate Christmas.”
Taehyung furrows his eyebrows, confused. “But do you spend the day with Yoongi or Seokjin…?”
he asks.
“Nope, I always stay alone. I really hate holidays, I don’t give the smallest fucks about Christmas.
Why are you asking, though?” Jungkook turns to him, hips resting back against the counter, arms
crossed over his bare chest.
“Because I was thinking about inviting you to come spend Christmas with me. Well, and with my
family. I always go back home to Daegu, and I’d love it if you tagged along.” he explains with a
little hopeful smile. Jungkook remains quiet, processing the offer. “It’s Christmas, c’mon, you
can’t stay here all by yourself…”
“I don’t know, Tae. I hate that day, I’ll probably be the Grinch, and I’ll bring everyone’s mood
down…” Jungkook says as he turns back around to the stove. “I’ll be a horrible company. I already
am, but I’ll probably be even worse.”
“No, you’re not.” Taehyung quickly defends. “I won’t go either, then. I can’t possibly let you stay
alone during Christmas. If you don’t come with me, then I’ll stay back here with you.”
Jungkook’s eyes widen, and his hand freezes around the button to turn off the heat. Then, he sighs.
He can’t possibly let Taehyung miss out on the opportunity to spend the holidays with his family,
he can’t be the reason why he stays in Seoul. “Okay.” he compromises. “I’ll join you guys.”
Taehyung shrieks, clapping his hands twice. “That’s amazing, I’m glad.” he smiles. “Oh, but I do
have to let you know that we have a little rule… We must all wear ugly Christmas sweaters.
Whoever has the worst shirt wins twenty bucks from everyone there, and I have a really big family,
so it’s a good deal.” Jungkook turns back to him, holding two bowls with a pair of chopsticks in
each. “We have to find—”
“I’m already regretting my decision.”
“Oh, it’s already too late to go back.” Taehyung giggles, taking some ramen to his mouth right
away. It’s tasty, as per usual — Jungkook does make the best ramen. “We all love Christmas so
much, we all grew up making a big deal out of it, so having you there is going to be so much fun!
Three weeks to go…!”
“You count down to the day?” Jungkook raises an eyebrow as he steps closer, boldly standing
between Taehyung’s parted legs. Maybe a little too close, maybe a little too personal, but he’s not
pushed away nor does Taehyung look uncomfortable, so he stays. “That’s so lame.”
“You’re lame.” Taehyung tsks. “Don’t disrespect Christmas like that. You’re going to wear an ugly
Christmas sweater, and you’re going to wear it proudly, I do not accept anything other than a yes
from you.” he jokes, trying to keep his voice serious.
Jungkook cackles. “Yes, sir.” because, really, how can he say no?
He’s a weak man when it comes to Taehyung.
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 49 │►
Chapter Notes
“Jungkookie…?” he turns around to see his sister standing a few feet away from him, a teddy bear
in her hand. Jungkook looks down at himself, he feels odd; he feels as though he has no control of
his own body, like he’s not really there.
“Hey, Mya.” Jungkook still says, eyes drifting to his room behind his sister; his laptop is open and
he furrows his eyebrows. Was she using it? She never did without his permission, and usually he’s
always with her as she only wants to watch a movie or two with him.
“Do you love me, Kookie? Do you?” the little girl asks with a quiver in her voice, bottom lip
wobbling. He tilts his head, why would she be crying? She knows the answer to that question.
“Of course I love you, why are you asking me such an obvious thing?” he chuckles, clueless.
“Then why didn’t you stop me?” Jungkook’s smile disappears slowly, his mind taking over the
situation almost immediately. He watches as she gets a bottle of the pills that he found empty on
the floor that day, and takes them to her mouth with tears in her eyes.
“Wait— Mya no—” he tries to run, move for the first time, but his feet don’t let him take a single
step, it’s like they’re glued to the floor. “Mya, stop!” Jungkook yells, his voice ripping through his
throat. It hurts, but he only yells again. And again. He keeps yelling, but he doesn’t stop, and he
can’t move, can’t walk, can’t do anything but watch.
He can see her taking pill after pill, sometimes two at a time, but even if he tries to scream, to run,
to do whatever possible, it seems like he’s not even there anymore. He’s just able to watch and
nothing more, his body having a mind of its own and, therefore, not answering or obeying what his
mind wants. “M—”
“—ya!” he’s finally able to scream, looking around, only to find himself back in his bed, in his
bedroom. The bed to his left is empty, Taehyung’s pajamas folded and left on top of the pillow. He
brushes his hair back, wiping his tears with the back of his hand. He’s alone, no wonder he was
having a nightmare.
There’s a small orange sticky note glued to Taehyung’s pajamas and he reaches for it with a
trembling hand, having to wipe his eyes again to be able to read it despite his tears. “Namjoon
needed me at the clinic, I hope that you slept well… call me.” he reads aloud, and that’s all that it
says. He sniffs again, turning it around to check whether there’s anything else, before putting it
down so that he can close his eyes and take a deep breath in.
That was a first. That kind of nightmare.
Usually, his nightmares are memories that come back to haunt him, they’re always something that
he’s seen before, something that he’s experienced, something that he wishes to never remember
again. This one was new.
Being somewhere that he never was, in a situation that he’s never seen himself in, unable to do
anything. He couldn’t move, his voice was coming out but wasn’t being heard, he couldn’t even
get his sister’s attention, though her eyes were on him the whole time. Terrifying.
Chilling. Heartbreaking, for sure.
He can feel the tears start to fill up his eyes, and he knows that he should probably call Taehyung
— as he was asked to — but he doesn’t want the younger man to feel guilty for leaving the
apartment earlier than usual. Jungkook knowswill well enough to know that he will blame himself
for the dream, and that’s not something that he wishes for.
Lying doesn’t sound appealing either, however.
Before he knows it, he’s listening to the dialing tone of the phone call, the sheets pooling at his lap
when he sits up. “Hi, hyungie…!” he hears that same sweet, warm voice that has been on his mind
for weeks now. “Already awake? Did you just wake up or… did you have a bad dream?” Jungkook
looks down.
“The latter…” he whispers.
“Oh, hyungie… I’m sorry.” Taehyung’s voice already sounds guilty. “What did you dream of?”
“I dreamt of Mya, my sister… Just uhm, don’t feel bad, okay? You had work to attend to, you
couldn’t possibly say no just because some loser has nightmares when you’re not by his side.” he
mumbles. “I don’t want you to feel guilty, I’m just telling you because— I don’t know why I’m
telling you…”
“You’re being honest, and I really appreciate it. You’re not a loser, so don’t call yourself such
horrible things, please… I’m sorry that you had a nightmare once again, and we really have to talk
about it as we have to, eventually, go back to trying to find solutions for your sleeping problems.
We won’t be sleeping side by side forever, so you have to be able to sleep without me, and booze.”
Jungkook chuckles, pained. “Yeah.” he sniffs. “I’m going to go now, Moon’s asking for food, and
I can tell that she’s a second away from starting to bark…” he lies. It’s a little white lie, he
considers. It’s not bad, or meaningful. “Will I see you later?” his voice sounds somewhat unsure,
and he doesn’t even know why.
“Yes, of course. Call me if you need to talk, okay? Or if you just need me to be there for you, we
don’t even have to talk.” Taehyung offers. “Take care, hyungie, and I hope that work goes well
today. Have a nice shift.” he wishes.
“You too.” Jungkook half-whispers. He runs a hand through his hair as he presses on the red
button to end the call; he’s stressed, the nightmare is still repeating in the back of his mind, and
Taehyung just reminded him that what they have, what they’re living together, isn’t a permanent
thing. What they have is temporary.
Undeniably, he knew that, eventually, Taehyung would want to move out and move on with his
life, maybe try dating again and build a family with someone. However, he never really stopped to
think about what that would imply, never stopped to think about it happening any time soon. He
doesn’t want to think about that, he wants to keep what they have — he wants to take it to the next
level, he wants to be the person who Taehyung builds a life with.
Taehyung saying that it must end at some point hurt more than he ever thought that it would.
Which is stupid, because he’s pretty sure that Taehyung didn’t even think of it that way.
Jungkook sighs, cursing at himself at least ten times under his breath for overthinking about
everything in his life, for making such a big deal out of everything, for taking everything so deeply
when, maybe, most times it’s not even necessary. He just constantly makes it even worse for
himself.
He groans, pushing the covers back to get up.
He opens the cleaning cabinet in the kitchen, pushing all of the cleaning products aside to get to his
hidden bottles. Then, he takes an immediate sip, desperately wanting to get rid of the vivid image
of his sister holding the bottle of pills. It burns a little now, the whiskey leaves a bitter taste in his
mouth and a fire down his esophagus. His face cringes as it goes down.
It’s been a while since he’s been able to drink so freely.
Still, it doesn’t stop him from sipping again, and again.
And one more time.
Moon comes running once she hears his low sniffs, and Jungkook lets himself fall back on the
floor, sitting down next to her, one of his legs bent as his dog snuggles closer to him. “Old times,
huh?” he jokes, his fingers threading through Moon’s golden fur. “Don’t tell Tae that I’m drinking
and looking like a huge mess, he’d be so disappointed…”
There’s no reason to drink now. He’s found a solution, he knows that he doesn’t have nightmares
when he sleeps with Taehyung, so there’s no reason for him to drink anymore, but why can’t he
seem to stop?
Has he really grown that addicted to the substance?
He sniffs, the weight of the admission hurting him. “I’m such a fucking— disappointment.”
│►
Jungkook finishes tying up his apron, his eyes on the floor as he sniffs yet again. Eunjae is looking
at him, he can feel it, and she does her best to try and understand whether he’s sniffing because
he’s sick, or if there’s something else going on. “Hey, Kook?” she calls.
“Hm?” he looks up.
His eyes are red, she notes right away, and steps closer to him; her mouth shuts before she can get
any words out, though, as she takes a whiff close enough to him. “You reek of alcohol.” she
accuses. “Why were you drinking at seven in the morning? That’s so bad for your body…”
Jungkook gulps, cheeks flaring red at the thought of being caught so easily. “Don’t tell Tae.” is
what he thinks of first, and what’s more important at the moment. He’s slightly tipsy, though not
nearly enough to put his job at risk, and he’s still very much in his head after having such a horrible
dream. The day isn’t going well and it has just started.
“Uhm… Not that I would, but why can’t I?” Eunjae asks, tone curious. Jungkook remains quiet,
his eyes on the counter. “You’re like, forty-five, why aren’t you allowed to drink if you want to?
What does Taehyung even have to do with that? I have so many questions.”
“I uhm…” he scratches the back of his head, unsure of how to say it. “You see…”
“Oh, don’t tell me if you don’t want to.” Eunjae rushes to stop him. She knows how much he’s
against talking about himself or sharing personal things and, though they’ve gotten a lot closer, she
doesn’t want to make him uncomfortable or force him to share anything.
“No, it’s fine. I trust you…? Kind of. Also kind of not, but I do, so— yeah.” Jungkook tries to
explain. Most of the time, he doesn’t even know why he shares what he does with Eunjae, but he
guesses that it has a lot to do with the fact that she reminds him of his sister. It’s still weird and
new and, sometimes, oddly freeing.
“Sounds tough.” Eunjae jokes.
“Can you shut up for once…?”
“Is it that serious?” Jungkook nods. “Okay, go on. I’m serious.”
“So… You know how I’m kind of, uhm, how do I put this, messed up?” the way that she
immediately nods is kind of offensive, but he doesn’t think much of it. “Well, before Taehyung, I
couldn’t really sleep without nightmares. I’ve suffered from night terrors pretty much my whole
life, and the only thing that would stop them, and keep them away, was alcohol. So I drank… a lot,
and all the time. At night, I’d drink myself stupid until I passed out, and as self-destructive as it
sounds, it would keep the nightmares away, and that’s all that I cared for.”
Eunjae nods, listening attentively to his every word.
“We’ve recently found out that sleeping with Taehyung relaxes me to the point where I also don’t
have those nightmares, so I have no reason to keep drinking, but I still do. I can’t stop myself from
drinking whenever I have the chance. Tae doesn’t know that… and that’s why I’m basically not
allowed to drink now. I’m not supposed to be drinking anymore.”
“Dude… Isn’t that straight up alcoholism? If you can’t stop…?”
“Wow, did you get that all by yourself?” he mocks, his smile forged.
Eunjae rolls her eyes. “I’m just concerned. You should probably see a therapist about this… I heard
that therapy helps a lot. A friend of mine— A former friend of mine used to see this lady that she
said worked like a saint. You’d probably benefit a lot from it.” she suggests.
Jungkook presses his lips together in a thin line, waiting for her to realize what she’s just said, but
it never comes. “You absolute clown.” she blinks. “I told you that Taehyung is… or was, my
therapist. That’s how we met, remember? I’ve always known that I needed therapy.”
“Oh…!” she nods, eyes big, as she taps her own forehead. “I remember that now. My memory is
kind of shit, and since you told me that you met in high school, I erased the therapist thing from my
mind.” Eunjae justifies. “So, is it Taehyung who doesn’t allow you to drink?”
“Uhm… He’s never explicitly told me that I can’t, I’m a grown-ass man. Since it is a problem,
though, as I don’t just drink socially, we’ve been looking for solutions. As I said, sleeping next to
him is a solution, even if temporary, so he thinks that I have stopped drinking.” he worries at his
bottom lip, fiddling with his fingers. “I can’t have him finding out, he’d be so disappointed, and
I’m tired of constantly disappointing him.”
Eunjae looks down at her nails, silent for a few seconds, before nodding. “Jungkook?”
“Yeah…?”
“You should tell him.”
“I can’t, did you not hear what I just—”

“I did, I heard it, that’s why I’m telling you that you have to let him know that you’re still drinking.
You’re scared of disappointing him, I get that, but what would disappoint him more: finding out
through you, because you’ve willingly told him, or finding that out by himself?”
Jungkook looks away, features softening. “He’ll never find out on his own.” he still puts the idea
down. “It’s— It’s impossible. I’m extra careful, and my bottles are hidden very well.” his coworker
sighs. “Don’t do that. Don’t judge me.”
“I’m not.”
“Are too.”
“Maybe a little bit…” she nods. “I’m just worried, dude. I strongly believe that you should tell him,
but you can’t teach old people new beliefs or however the saying goes, so do whatever you see
fitting. Stick to what you believe will bring you the best outcome. I’ll be here to hear you cry when
this all goes to shit.”
Jungkook frowns. “Why would this go to shit?”
“Have you ever heard that saying, you’ll catch a lie faster than a limping person?”
“You have a lot of sayings.” he mumbles. “Can we just not talk about this, please?”
“Avoidance isn’t—”
“Please, change the topic. Right now.”
Eunjae nods. “Never have I ever?” she suggests, leaning forward on the counter. It’s too early to
have customers coming in already, and they don’t really have anything to do until they start
appearing. “I can’t think of another game right at the top of my head like this.”
“It’s fine, that’ll do.”
│►
“Never have I ever…” Eunjae drags the last word, trying to come up with something. “Since we’re
starting to get very explicit, I’ll just— Never have I ever, I don’t know, had an orgy. I have never,
though I’m curious about it.” she shrugs, turning to her coworker that just stares right back at her,
silent. “What—?”
“Uhm…” he scratches the back of his head. “I have.”
“Shut the fuck up— When and with how many people? This is nuts, you’re not supposed to be
cool.” Jungkook quickly shows her his middle finger, trying not to smile as she falls into a pit of
laughter. “Please, answer my questions…! This is very interesting to me.”
“It was in my last year of high school, and it was just with four girls. It wasn’t huge, I don’t know,
but it happened. Can we move on now?” he looks away; he doesn’t like remembering his teenage
years.
“No, we cannot.” Eunjae shakes her head. “Was it nice? I can only imagine, that’s every teen
dude’s dream. Four girls to yourself? You probably had a blast.”
“I’ve told you before, I’m more of a giver than a receiver. It was like trying to pay attention to four
movies at the same time, since I was way too eager to just— do everything. I was too young to
actually do well, I suppose. It was good at the time…? I was an idiot so I bragged about it for who
knows how long, but now that I think back to it, I’d never repeat—”
“Of course you wouldn’t, you’re in love now.” she smiles, so big that it almost makes him angry,
for some reason. “This is so interesting, tell me more. I didn’t even have sex until like, last month,
and you were like that at my age… Old times, huh?”
“More like rebellious kids just doing whatever to get their minds off of their personal bullshit.” he
sighs. “Anyway, ask another one. I’m out of ideas already.”
“Okay, let’s see…” Eunjae looks around, thinking. “Never have I ever spent the night in jail. I did
once. It was a friend’s birthday and we all drank so much that I passed out drunk on the street.
Like, really, on the sidewalk on my way home. I probably could’ve been kidnapped, but I got
lucky. Someone called the police and some officers took me, so I spent the night in jail and they let
me off in the morning with just a warning.” she shares, laughing.
Jungkook quickly weighs the pros and cons of sharing, but her awaiting eyes make him nod and
just go for it. “Not just one night, and not in jail.” he admits. He’s not very sure as to why he’s even
sharing such details of his life, he could’ve just lied and said that he’s never spent the night in jail
— he could’ve even stolen her story and made some brief alterations, she’d never know. So, really,
he doesn’t know why he’s telling the truth.
It’s always taken him so long to share personal details with people. He still hasn’t been able to
share a great part of his life with Taehyung, his therapist, and his friends barely know him. Yet,
with Eunjae, things seem to just spill out of him so naturally. Perhaps it’s the fact that they’re not
too close, or the fact that the thought of disappointing her doesn’t scare him,
Or, again, it’s the fact that she sometimes reminds him of his sister.
“Ah, yes, because I’ll really believe that— Stop messing with me.” she tsks.
“No, I’m serious.”
“You’re not, shut up.”
Jungkook chuckles. “I am. I got sentenced to three months in prison, so that’s about ninety nights
that I spent there.” he admits, almost ashamed. She’s just a coworker, so part of him knows that he
doesn’t have to worry given that, even if she were to judge him for it, it’s not like her opinion is
that important to him. Yet, at least.
Her face doesn’t shift, she doesn’t look angry or disappointed, and her body language remains the
same: she’s still leaning on the counter, she’s still interested. It’s kind of relieving.
“But you’re… You’re genuinely the sweetest guy I’ve ever met. I literally bully you, and you still
put up with me without complaining too much…? Even when you do, I know that you’re joking.
You’re one of the very few guys that make me think that men still deserve some rights after all.
How do you expect me to just believe that you’re a criminal?”
“Ouch. That’s a fucked-up word.” Jungkook winces.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know how else to say it.” she’s quick to apologize, a hand on his shoulder.
“It’s ok. I’ve done a whole bunch of stupid shit when I was younger… I did get arrested, and it’s
one of my biggest life regrets. I may be nice now but… I wasn’t always like this.” he sighs.
“Were you… not nice before?”
“I was a bully at some point, and that should answer your question in itself.”
“You surely had a reason, no one who isn’t an asshole bullies someone for no reason, and you’re
not an asshole. You’re funny, you’re attentive, you’re very protective of those you love, and you’re
a really good friend.” they wave good morning at a lady that walks past the door, their smiles a
little forced given the topic; she waves at them every single day. “She’s so precious.”
“She should come inside some time.” Jungkook agrees. “And, no. I legit bullied someone for no
reason.”
“No reason at all?”
“Bullying someone that didn’t deserve it, just because you have a crush on them, isn’t an
acceptable excuse. Childhood trauma doesn’t excuse it.” Eunjae gapes, looking at him with wide
eyes. “Forget that I said anything.”
“No, hold on, now.” she raises a finger; he can practically see her brain quickly connecting the
dots. “I’m putting two and two together here. I’m concluding that you bullied your high school
crush…? And you once told me that you had a crush on Taehyung. Was this a different crush, or
did you pick on your damn therapist slash best friend slash love of your life?” her words turn into
an almost yell at the end, and Jungkook has to quickly shush her, his eyes guilty. “Jungkook!” she
scolds, smacking his arm.
“No, shut up, just— shut up. Find something to do.” he instructs as he picks up a wet rag, more kin
on cleaning up the counter than continuing the conversation.
“There’s nothing to do… Just answer me.” she grabs his forearm to keep him back. “I need an
explanation, Jungkook. Is it Taehyung that you’re talking about?”
“Focus on work.” Jungkook dismisses it, and she sighs, giving up.
Well, for a few minutes, at least.
The silence doesn’t last long, unfortunately for him.
“Why did you bully him?” his coworker asks, appearing all too suddenly from behind him while
he’s at the coffee machine, and Jungkook sighs, figuring that he won’t be able to avoid this
conversation any longer. She won’t drop it, and he should’ve known that. “You should know me
by now. I’ve been asking for twenty minutes, and I’ll continue asking until we clock out if you
don’t spill the beans.”
“Fine.” Jungkook puts everything down, turning back to look at her. “I just liked him, I don’t
know. I was stupid, that’s why.” he doesn’t want to go into further detail, doesn’t want to relive
every single memory, nor does he want to tell her the whole thing. “There you go, sir, thank you.”
he puts on another smile, handing the coffee over to the old man at the counter.
“Thank you…” the man bows, carefully taking his coffee to the table.
“I don’t quite understand that reasoning. I’ve been bullied before, it’s the absolute worst feeling
ever, and you did it because you… liked him?” that does get him to quiet down, shoulders
slumping. Saying it like that sounds different, it sounds way more serious.
Putting it like that makes him see just how horrible he was, how unreasonable his actions were. It
forces him to acknowledge what he’s been trying to ignore for years now.
“I-I was scared…” he whispers, looking down.
Eunjae blinks; Jungkook looks far more upset than she had intended. “But surely you could’ve just
— Okay, hey, okay, it’s fine, it’s not even my business. Stop looking like a kicked puppy, I didn’t
want to bring old feelings back, and I didn’t want to upset you so much. If he’s forgiven you, then
I’m no one to comment on things.”
“I’m going to cry.” Jungkook half-warns, half-informs.
“Hey, at least you’re acting the night way about your feelings this time around.” Eunjae shrugs.
“You’re being lovely to him instead of… a demon.” she whispers the last word.
“I fucking hate myself, why was I like that?” he asks, rhetorically, not even waiting for her reply,
eyes brimming with tears. “Jae, if I do the math of the number of times that I made him sad, and
the number of times that I made him happy… I don’t— I don’t know which one would win. I
should just never leave my damn bed.” Jungkook frowns when she starts laughing, bending down
with a hand on her stomach.
Jungkook doesn’t find it funny, especially not laugh worthy.
“Shut it, this is so sadly funny.” she cackles.
“There were times— I remember when my friends would throw his things to the trash or flush his
pencil cases down the toilet, really mean and immature shit like that, and I just stood outside so
that I could warn them in case of incoming. Jae, I don’t deserve his friendship, I don’t deserve
him.” he has to use his good reflexes when his coworker tries to smack him across the head. His
face closes off even more.
“You didn’t help him?!” she whisper-yells, not really caring for the customers sitting at nearby
tables. They’re not nearly as important as the horrible information that she’s just obtained. The first
tear rolls down. “Alright, don’t cry, please. These are waters under the bridge, it’s in the past, don’t
—”
“This is exactly why he’s never going to love me. He’s always going to remember the past, as will
I. I was high and wasted all the time in high school, and yet I still remember every little thing that I
did to him, how could he ever forget them? God, Jae, he’s never going to reciprocate my feelings.”
Jungkook sniffs, his nose already becoming a funny shade of red that it always turns to when he
cries — his coworker finds it cute, but doesn’t think that the moment is appropriate to mention it.
“How can I ever make it up to him? He’ll always… He’ll always remember the worst of me. How
can I possibly make it up to him?”
“Eat his ass, maybe.” she shrugs, giggling when he gives her a nasty look.
She knows that the suggestion isn’t of any help, but her main goal is to try to make him laugh right
now, not to give him advice when he’s probably not even listening.
“He doesn’t want me to…!” Jungkook says with a little sob at the end, having to cover his face
with his hands. He already knew that the littlest thing was, most likely, going to set him off today,
he left his house with a weird feeling in his chest and a heavy weight on his shoulders due to his
nightmare, so it’s not that much of a surprise that he’s seriously cooking a breakdown at work.
Eunjae laughs, unsure of what to do. “Are you on your period?” she teases, handing over a tissue
for him to blow his nose. “You’re crying for no reason, you’re weirdly emotional about things that
don’t even matter anymore… You must be menstruating. I understand, dude, it’s a rough week for
all of us.” Jungkook just about has to hold himself back from throwing the used tissue at her.
“I’m just now realizing why Tae doesn’t love me, and never will. Of course I’m fucking crying.”
he says, his voice choked up at the end; his hands tremble, his chest is already moving perhaps a
little too quickly, and Eunjae isn’t liking the looks of it. “I ruined my chances with him way back
then, I can’t believe this. Young me just fucked everything up so bad.”
“Excuse me…” Eunjae turns to a man standing behind the counter, trying to get their attention.
“Could I, please, get a—”
“Give us a second.” she holds a finger up.
“There was this time when I threw his coffee to the floor…” he drags the last word, a pained cry
following suit. Eunjae’s jaw slacks, unsure of what to do. She shouldn’t have brought up such a
topic, but it’s too late now. “I’m such a terrible fucking person, why does he even live with me?!”
“Jungkook, there’s a line—” Eunjae stresses, looking at the customers. “Actually, just take a five
minute break, you’ll be fine. I’ll take care of these, you go get freshened up.” Jungkook nods,
allowing her to guide him to the break room; she closes the door behind him. “I’m sorry about that,
what can I help you with?”
“I want whatever he’s having.” the man jokes, pointing at the closed door with a teasing smirk on
his face. She squints, giving him a nasty look. “I mean—”
“If you’re going to order, I’ll be happy to serve you a coffee or whatever that you came here for,
but if you’re going to make fun of my colleague just because he’s having a rough time, then you
can turn around and leave right now. I mean it.” she warns, voice stern.
The man clears his throat. “Just a coffee.”
“Good. You can go sit down, I’ll get you one.”
│►
Eunjae looks up from the plate that she’s lazily drying off, surprised to see Jungkook coming back
from the break room. He looks better, his face isn’t closed off anymore, but his eyes are still red
from all the crying. “Hey, dude.” she greets. “Are you doing better?”
“That was stupid and we’re never going to talk about it again.” he smiles.
“No, don’t be like that.” Eunjae steps closer. “Are you ok? What was that…? It looked like a full
breakdown… I had never seen that before.” she asks, worried, handing over a glass of cold water.
“Drink it slowly…”
“Thank you.” he takes it with a little embarrassed smile. “That happens from time to time. If I get
too in my head, I don’t know, I lose track of shit, and things get floaty, and I get extra sensitive,
and it’s a mess. It’s also fucking scary and horrible and it feels like shit, especially because I can’t
control it.” Jungkook explains, taking a sip. “I’m sorry that you had to see it, it’s embarrassing and
scary.” he apologizes; he hates that he wasn’t able to control it this time, he should’ve been able to
when in front of other people.
Yet, he always finds a way to show just how weak he is.
“It’s okay, I just wasn’t sure of what to do…” she pouts.

“I’m really sorry. My morning started off rough, so my head was already in a struggle. It won’t
happen again. I can’t possibly put this shit in a nineteen-year-old’s hands.” Jungkook assures.
“Don’t worry about it, dude.” Eunjae shrugs. “On a serious note, however, you should talk to
Taehyung…”
“I can’t tell him. It’s— No. It’s not happening. I can’t, Jae.” Jungkook immediately puts the idea
down, leaving his glass near the sink. “He can’t know. He can’t find out.”
“Hey, I’m not talking about the alcohol situation. I understand your point, so if you’re not ready to
tell him, then don’t do it yet, but I feel like you should tell him about today… and about how you
feel about what happened in the past. It was a decade ago, yet it still gets you to react this way, so
it’s clearly an unresolved problem. You should talk to him about it, don’t forget that he’s a
therapist— your therapist, on top of it. Talk to him.”
“But… But I’m scared of bringing this up.” he whispers.
“He’ll never hate you more than he does already.” Eunjae tries to joke, but his face falls even
more. “I mean—”
“He surely will never hate me more than I hate myself.”
“That’s— That’s the spirit…?” she tilts her head. “Just tell him. Talk to him. You should be fine,
he won’t have a bad reaction.” Jungkook looks up when she places a hand on his shoulder. “You…
You love him, don’t you?”
“Yeah…” he sniffs. “He doesn’t love me back, that much I know, and I may make it all even
worse by bringing those memories back…” Jungkook looks back down, not quite feeling like
keeping the conversation going for any longer.
He’s getting back into his head and he hates it there.
“In my opinion, you should still try.”
Jungkook sighs. “I’ll… I’ll think about it.”
│►
Taehyung bends down to pet Moon as soon as he opens the front door, her barking then coming to
an end. Her tail wags from side to side, tongue hanging out as he continues playing with her soft
ears. “Hey, you big girl…!” he greets.
His smile begins to falter once he looks up; Jungkook’s sitting on the couch in a very stiff position,
already looking at him. His legs are crossed and his hands rest on his lap, and he looks like he’s
having a horrible day. Taehyung furrows his eyebrows, concerned.
“Is everything ok…?”
“Come here, please.” Jungkook pats the couch. Taehyung doesn’t question it, simply walks up to
him and sits down. “We need to talk.” those four words can get anyone’s heart to speed up, and
Taehyung isn’t an exception. “It’s pretty serious…”
Taehyung takes his jacket off, facing him properly. “We can talk.” he nods. “What is it about?”
“I had a breakdown at work today…” he starts.

“Was it because of your nightmare?” Taehyung tries to guess.
“Please, let me finish, or I’ll chicken out.” Jungkook requests, closing his eyes. Taehyung just taps
his thigh, encouragingly. “I was talking to Jae, we were playing a stupid game to pass the time, as
we always do, and I was reminded of our past. I was suddenly so overwhelmed by what happened,
it just… it just hit me so hard.” he looks down. “I’ve tried to ignore it, I knew that what happened
was bad, but I never— I never stopped to really think about it, about the isolated actions. I had to
take a break at work because I couldn’t stop crying, I felt fucking suffocated. Tae, I need to
apologize to you for everything that I’ve done. You can hate me now, but I needed to talk about
this with you. I’m so, so sorry, Taehyung.”
He only looks up from his fingers when Taehyung laughs. It’s not a mocking laugh, nor is it
condescending, but his eyes disappear within the apples of his cheeks, and he doesn’t look upset in
the slightest.
Jungkook blinks. “Tae— What—”
“You’re so freaking precious, oh goodness.” Taehyung says as he leans closer, wrapping both of
his arms around Jungkook’s neck. Jungkook takes three seconds too long to process it and hug his
waist. “Did you seriously cry over stuff that happened ten years ago?”
“Yes…?” he sniffs, and Taehyung coos, rubbing his back. “I don’t even know why I’m crying
right now. Everything is making me cry today. I’m not in the right state of mind, and I’m sorry for
being like this right now. I-I just care so, so much for you that thinking about everything that
happened in the past makes me emotional… I wish—” he stops when Taehyung places a slender
finger over his lips, effectively quieting him.
“You’re so honest, it’s such a precious thing about you, and I love you for that.”
Jungkook’s sniffs, his eyes red, nose even redder. “No, you don’t.” he says, voice a little pained.
Taehyung doesn’t love him. At least not in the way that he wishes he did.
“I do, of course I do. You’re my best friend.” Taehyung says as he taps his thigh, inching to stand
up to go make him some tea, but Jungkook lets out another cry that makes him stop.
Best friend. That’s all that he’ll ever be.
“Alright, what’s going on, hyung?” Taehyung asks, worried. “Is there something else?”
“I don’t know.” Jungkook sniffs. “My head is a mess today. Everything is making me cry… I’m so
fucking pathetic.” he whines, covering his face.
Taehyung smiles, understanding. “Are you feeling a little lightheaded?” Jungkook looks up with
shiny eyes, nodding. He looks almost innocent like this. “Floaty? Is your head floaty?”
“Yes…” he sniffs.
“Yeah?”
“I just don’t feel good today… My head feels like it’s all over the place, you know…?” he looks
down, sighs. “I just want to uhm, I don’t know.”
“Alright, Koo.” Taehyung stands up. “You just need a very good nap and you’ll be as good as new,
it’s alright. Having a breakdown or a bad day is nothing to be ashamed of, you just need to rest.” he
holds a hand out for Jungkook to take, but the latter only stares at it.
“But I don’t want to sleep…”
“Well… In that case, how about you take a hot shower, get into fresh pajamas, and then I’ll cuddle
you in bed? We don’t have to sleep, we can just lay there together for a little, until you feel better.”
Jungkook’s lips twitch into a little smile. “I can see that you like the idea, c’mon, let’s go.” he
offers his hands again and, this time, Jungkook takes them willingly.
“Cuddling does sound nice…”
│►
Jungkook stares up at the ceiling, his eyes wide and filled with thoughts despite the relaxing hand
that hasn’t stopped playing with his hair, not even for one second. He’s all snuggled up under a
warm blanket, his head resting on Taehyung’s tummy, and he thought that he’d end up falling
asleep, but he hasn’t managed that just yet.
“Tae?” Jungkook calls, getting a soft hum in return. “How did you come out?” he can tell that the
question takes Taehyung by surprise, given that his fingers halt for a moment before resuming, and
he feels as though he must explain himself. “I’m just trying to continue our conversation from the
other day… I do want to know more about you. I-I want to know everything, so this is just what
came to mind right now. You don’t have to answer if it’s a bad memory…”
“No, no, I’ll tell you.” Taehyung pats the top of his head. “I never came out, to be honest. My
parents always knew, I suppose. Ever since I was a little kid, when I’d draw myself or talk about
my wedding day, it was always with another man and never with a woman, so they just put two and
two together. The day that we actually had that conversation, it was more of a mutual
acknowledgment rather than me telling them anything. They were always supportive and
understanding, they never once looked down on me for it…” Taehyung explains, as Jungkook
feels some sort of jealousy that he probably shouldn’t. “But why do you ask, hyung?”
“Would you like to know how it was for me?” he asks with a bitter chuckle.
“If you’d like to share, yes.”
“I only had to come out to my uncle, and even then, it wasn’t my choice. He walked in on me with
a guy… It wasn’t anything that bad, I was sitting in bed and the guy was just sucking me off, it
definitely could’ve been worse. He gave us both a beating. I never saw the dude again — I actually
didn’t even know who he was, I didn’t even know his name, we met at a party, but I’ll never forget
him because of that moment.”
Taehyung gapes. “I’m so sorry, h—”
“And I knew…? The worst part is that I knew that it wouldn’t be pretty if he found out, my dad
would’ve done the same or worse if he had ever found out about it. My uncle was supposed to be
at work that night, he wasn’t supposed to walk in on us.” he sighs. “I was hurt and scared, and this
happened right after high school, before I turned eighteen and got the chance to get the fuck out of
there. This is why you annoyed me so much.”
The other takes a second. “Because… Because of your uncle’s reaction?”
“Yes. I mean, no, not quite. I was angry, pissed off, really, over the fact that I wanted to kiss you
when I knew that it wouldn’t be accepted at home, whereas you were so free and honest about it.
You were just… so yourself, and I was jealous and bitter. And annoyed. I just wanted to be able to
be honest too, without being scared or getting hurt, and I couldn’t. I was mean because I was
jealous, and bitter, and— and every bad thing that you can imagine me feeling. Now that I stop to
think about it, I was behaving just like my dad.”
Taehyung halts.
He cups Jungkook’s cheek, carefully making the elder face him. “You’re not your dad.” he says,
his words well pronounced. “In any way, Jungkook.”
“I-I know that I’m not.” Jungkook whispers. “I was just trying to— I was desperately trying to get
rid of the way that I felt about you, you know? I hoped that, maybe, it was just towards you and not
the whole genre, I was angry because I couldn’t possibly be into men. It wasn’t your fault, you just
happened to be my awakening, and you didn’t deserve the treatment that it got you.” he sniffs, eyes
reddening again. “I don’t even deserve you to consider me as your friend now, I don’t—”
“I understand, Koo.” Taehyung interrupts in a soft whisper.
“But you don’t.” Jungkook sits up. “You can’t understand, and the fact that you don’t even let me
apologize—”
“Let you apologize for the way that your father and your uncle hurt you and traumatized you to a
point where the only way that you could process your own pain was by trying to cause it? It’s
freaking relieving to me, knowing that it wasn’t self-inflicted. The number of patients that I’ve had
that deal with trauma and pain by making it even worse for themselves, by hurting themselves, and
I’m only glad that it wasn’t the case.” Taehyung sits up too. “I’m glad that you called me names or
pushed me because instead of doing that, you could’ve been at home leaving permanent reminders
on your body. You could’ve— What if you weren’t even here right now, Jungkook?”
Jungkook can only stare at him, processing the words.
“You’re not allowed to apologize for your father’s mistakes.”
The older man is silent for a second before his shoulders start shaking again, easy tears invading
his eyes. “I hate my dad.” he sobs, letting the words out with a strained voice. “He ruined my life
and everything good that I had. He still fucking terrifies me.”
Taehyung immediately takes him in his arms, rocking him slowly. “You will never have to see him
again.” he assures, his hand carelessly playing with the hair on the back of Jungkook’s head.
Jungkook sniffs, wrapping his arms around Taehyung’s middle, chin resting on his shoulder. “It’s
ok, hyung. It’s over, ok? You’re safe now.”
“I’m pathetic, I keep crying…”
“Quite the opposite, Jungkook. Quite the opposite. You’re insanely inspiring.”
“Do you— Do you love me, then?” he whispers.
“Of course, I do, you’re my best f—” Jungkook shakes even harder in his arms and Taehyung
doesn’t really understand why. “Hey, there, there, it’s ok.” he rocks him again. “You’re ok.”
And Jungkook doesn’t say anything else, because if he hears the words ‘best friend’ again, with
how his head is doing today, he’s not so sure that he won’t have another breakdown.
But it’s ok. As long as he’s in Taehyung’s arms, he’ll be ok.

He doesn’t feel as bad anymore, he just wishes that things were different.
“Do you want to take a nap now?” Taehyung whispers.
Jungkook nods. “Can you please play with my hair…?”
Taehyung smiles. “You don’t have to ask.”
│►
Chapter End Notes
What should Jungkook gift him for christmas?

◄│ 50 │►
Chapter Notes
“I bet my life on the fact that you have not dropped a single hint.” Eunjae says, certain of her
affirmation, and Jimin nods in agreement. “Do you really believe that Jiminie came all the way
here for breakfast? He’s here for juicy news, and you’re lying to our faces.”
“No, I’m not.” Jungkook stresses. “I’m telling you, I have been dropping hints.” he reinforces,
placing the now filled coffee mug in front of the young man by the counter.
“Right, what kind of hints?” Jimin asks as he adds the sugar to his coffee, an eyebrow raised in
curiosity. “I bet that they’re so lowkey that it’s understandable that he misses them.” he accuses
and Jungkook frowns, defeated.
“Yeah, I think so, too.” Eunjae nods, wiping a plate dry. “What have you been doing to skillfully
yet smoothly express your undying love?”
“Well, I’m way touchier nowadays, you know, to see where I can thread…” he starts, mindlessly
gesturing. “I take extra care of him, I’m even more affectionate, I vocalize it more than I used to…
I always make his pancakes heart-shaped.” Jungkook huffs. “When I’m feeling brave, I ask him if
he loves me, and he always says ‘yes, you’re my best friend’.” they both wince. Jungkook nods. “I
know. Trust me, I know.”
“That shit hurts. Right here.” Eunjae sympathizes, touching her chest.
“Okay, but maybe… maybe that’s— I don’t know, maybe it’s not as direct to him as it is for
us…?” Jimin tries to rationalize. “You two have always been touchy, and you’ve always taken care
of each other, so maybe he just hasn’t caught up to the differences yet.” he shrugs.
“Yeah, agreed.” his coworker nods.
“I prepared him toast and fruit today for breakfast. I cut every-fucking-thing into hearts, just so you
know how serious I am about these little actions, and I handed them over saying that they were my
love. My love for him, my heart. He laughed and stabbed it with the fork.” he shares, not even
surprised to hear Eunjae laugh, throwing her head back as a pig-like sound comes out.
“I’d give up.” she teases.
“He’s denser than a fucking rock.” Jimin cackles. “Oh, hyung, I genuinely believe that he feels
something more than friendship towards you, maybe he also does love you, he just… I don’t think
that he’s ever stopped to think about it, I don’t think that he’s ever… well, considered it.
Remember that we all opened your eyes, too? You didn’t think about it until you had to really stop
and consider everything, and our input helped a lot… He just needs to open his eyes, the same way
that you did. I’m sure that if that happened, then he’d realize that he, too, has feelings that go way
deeper than friendship level.” he theorizes, still stirring his coffee with the spoon.
Jungkook sighs, running a hand through his hair. “I’ve been thinking of asking you two to help me
figure out what to give him for Christmas. Maybe I could get him something that could maybe—
uhm, maybe stir those thoughts in him, I don’t know. Ever since I found out that he loves
Christmas, I’ve been thinking really hard about what gift to buy him, but nothing that I come up
with seems to be good enough for him. I want— I want to give him something fitting.”
“I’m horrible at coming up with gifts. Like, really the worst person for you to be asking for an
opinion. I gave my parents a keychain each last year.” Eunjae dismisses.
“I can’t give Taehyung a keychain!” Jungkook deflates, slowly but surely losing hope. “I’m
doomed, Christmas is in three days and I have no fucking idea of what to get him.” he covers his
face, whining into his palms. “I’m giving up, for real.”
“Stress not, my friend.” Jimin reaches to squeeze his shoulder. “I’ll come up with something, I love
buying gifts. I’ll text you if I have any ideas…” he smiles. “You know, you could just confess to
him as his Christmas gift.”
Jungkook promptly chokes on his saliva. “And get rejected in front of his entire family? Are you
insane?!” he whisper-yells. “He’d hate me if he knew that I’ve been in love with him for… I don’t
even know for how long…”
“What do you mean, his entire family?”
“Yeah, what’s that about?” Eunjae raises an eyebrow. “Oh, my God, are you spending Christmas
together?!” she shrieks.
“Uhm, yeah. I told him that I don’t celebrate Christmas, and he didn’t want me to be by myself, so
he invited me to tag along and spend it with his family.” he nods. “I’m a little nervous, but it
should be fine, I—”
“What’s the topic?” Jungkook stops when he hears his boss’s voice right behind them, and he
straightens up in a second, given that he was lazily leaning on the counter, and so is Eunjae — both
too entertained talking to Jimin. All of the customers have been served, so they’re technically not
doing anything wrong, but Jungkook can’t help but to panic.
He can’t upset Seojoon. He can’t lose this job.
“Sir, we were j—”
“We were just collectively trying to figure out what Christmas gift Jungkookie should buy for his
crush.” Eunjae shares, no ounce of care. “Don’t worry, Seo, everyone is served, we’re keeping an
eye on it, still.”
“Oh, I know, I’m not worried.” Seojoon waves a dismissive hand. “I was merely curious, could’ve
been something related to a customer…. Since everything is alright, though, Jungkook, can you
come with me for a second? I need to get a word with you.”
Jungkook shares a look with the other two before following his boss to an empty table. Seojoon sits
down, gesturing for him to do the same, and so he does. “Uhm…”
“I wanted to have a little chat with you, if that’s ok.”
Jungkook can feel his heart hammering in his chest, his blood running colder. Is he in trouble? Is
he getting fired? Did he do something wrong? Did someone write a complaint about him? He tries
to be even nicer to the customers, he can’t think of any that he may have angered.
“Yes, of course.” he tries to smile. “Is uhm, is everything ok…? Did I do something?”
“Oh, no, no!” Seojoon rushes to say. “It’s just that it’s been over a month since you started working
here, and I forgot to sit you down and ask you if you’ve been enjoying it. I usually ask my
employees a few questions after a month. I like to know whether you’re having any issues with me
or a coworker… in this case, Eunjae, since you always work with her.”
His shoulders relax. “I’m enjoying this way more than I thought I would, if I’m being honest with
you. I’ve never been the best with people, I used to work at a gas station and I always dreaded
dealing with the customers, but I find it easy here. It’s a nice environment, we always have
something to do so it’s never boring…” Jungkook says, sincere. “And regarding that last part, I
don’t have any problem at all with you. I think that you’re very understanding, and you treat us
more as friends than people that are, technically, below you. You’re a really good boss, I’m very
pleased with the way that you deal with things.”
“Thank you so much, Jungkook, really.” Seojoon smiles. “What about Jae? I know that she can
be… she can be a little too much sometimes. Does it bother you?”
“She’s a handful, but I like her. She’s become an actual friend, and we’ve grown pretty close. I
sometimes wanted to strangle her at the start, but we’ve learned our ways with each other.”
“Oh, that’s so lovely… She always compliments you a lot, she’s always talking nicely about you.”
his boss shares with a quiet laugh. “I can’t lie, I was very hesitant when Yoongi told me about you
at first, given your past, but you’ve proven me wrong in every way possible, and I’m truly amazed
by it. I’m glad that I didn’t let my initial judgment get the best of me.”
“Thank you so much for giving me a chance. Not everyone would look past what you did.” he
smiles. “I’m really thankful for that.”
“You don’t have to thank me.” his boss waves him off. “I hope that you have a nice Christmas,
keep me updated since you’re unsure of when you’re returning.”
“I’m pretty sure that I’ll be here when this opens back up, but if for some reason I’m not, I’ll let
you know. Again, thank you so much for being so understanding, not every boss would be so open
and— accepting.”
“I was once a mere employee too, and I know what it’s like to have a shitty boss. When I opened
this, I told myself that I’d be the best boss that I could be. Besides, I have no reason not to be nice
towards all of you, you’re all great.” he compliments. “Now, if you get me a nice coffee, I can help
you figure out what to buy for your crush.”
“It’s not— It’s not a crush, she was just saying that…”
“Hm… What is it, then?”
“My best friend…”
Seojoon cackles. “Why’d she call it a crush?”
“Because he’s in love with the guy.” Eunjae says, standing right next to them. “Jimin had an idea.”
she informs with a large grin, her hands on her hips. “Might take a bit of… convincing for you to
agree, though.”
“Oh—?” their boss perks up. “Let’s hear it.”
“I’ll get you your coffee first.” Jungkook stands up. “Full, right?”
“You know it.”
│►
Jungkook hums a song to himself as he opens the door to his apartment, but his feet stop and the
melody dies down once flashing lights catch his eyes. He takes a look around the living room,
hand still holding the keychain, and he can’t really process what he’s seeing.
There are ribbons all over the walls, Christmas socks hanging from the most random places, some
balls and stuffed Santa’s; he can see two reindeers proudly next to the television, and a mistletoe
crown next to the door. He quickly runs over the idea of closing the door again and just leaving,
but he also wants to know what in the world happened to his apartment.
“Tell me that I got the wrong motherfucking apartment.” he stresses. Taehyung turns back from
where he stands next to the tall Christmas tree, still fixing the flashing lights. His eyes light up with
amusement; Jungkook’s never used that word before.
“Doesn’t this look amazing?” he gestures around.
Jungkook takes off his jacket with his eyebrows furrowed, eyes following Taehyung’s hand as he
points to the decorations. “Tae, how can I put this lightly…” he starts with a sigh, throwing his
jacket to the couch. “It looks like a fucking oompa-loompa or an elf is about to pop up from
somewhere, and I’m not looking forward to that encounter.”
“An oompa—” Taehyung bends down with a soundless laugh, and Jungkook has to do his best not
to crack a smile. “I spent hours decorating, I thought that I’d have a better reaction.” he finally
says, lips pulling into a pout. “I even got some black ornaments since you like black so much, I
thought that you’d like them a bit more like that.”
“Oh, no, baby, please don’t pout, there’s no need for that… It looks am— Uhm, amaz— I mean,
it’s gre— Uhm—”
“You can’t even say it.” Jungkook just barely dodges the glittery ball that gets thrown at his head.
“I’m sweating, I probably smell horrible from all of the work that I had, bringing all of the boxes
up the stairs. Can you imagine how many times I had to go back downstairs to the car? I lost
count! That’s how many. I’m tired!”
Jungkook laughs, walking closer to pull the younger man into his arms. “I can—”
“No…! Get off, I smell bad, I’m all sweaty.” Taehyung whines.
“You look beautiful, shut it.” Jungkook tsks, his arms finding their place around Taehyung’s waist.
“It looks nice. The decoration, I mean. The uh, the red thing looks nice with the uh, the overall
picture, and yeah. I think that it’s…. very pleasing to the eye…” he squints.
“You’re such a terrible liar, wow.” Taehyung giggles, lightly slapping Jungkook’s chest. He keeps
his hand there, his palm flat on the firm muscle that he can feel under the elder’s black shirt. “Have
you ever decorated a house for Christmas?” he asks, examining Jungkook’s serene expression; he
doesn’t look distressed after the question, so Taehyung doesn’t see the need to take it back.
“Not really, we couldn’t afford ornaments.” Jungkook shares with a little shrug. “My mom actually
liked Christmas quite a lot, but seeing her passion for it die over the years just made me hate the
holiday. She’d beat herself up for not being able to give us a Christmas that resembled those that
we see in movies… She wanted to be able to decorate the whole place, to give us a shit ton of gifts,
and she thought that we would be upset that she couldn’t… The only thing that upset me, though,
was seeing her upset.” he explains, his hand seeking comfort by linking with Taehyung’s.
The blonde doesn’t hesitate before giving it a reassuring squeeze. “I’m sorry, hyung. I—”
“Christmas also just sucks on its own, so there’s all that there is to it.” Jungkook adds, trying to
lighten the mood once again. He doesn’t want more sadness, much less when it comes to a holiday
that Taehyung likes so much. “Sorry for oversharing on that one, I don’t know what got over me
for a second…”
Taehyung smiles, kissing his hand before letting go and stepping away. Jungkook can only watch
as he gets a shiny star and holds it out for him. “Put it on top of the tree.” he instructs, but
Jungkook doesn’t move. “C’mon, put it there, hyung.” and so he steps closer, takes the ornament
from the younger’s hand.
Jungkook stares at it for a second too long before sighing and doing just as he’s been told. He gets
on the very tips of his toes, stretching his arm to put the star on top of the tree. “Now what?” he
looks back at Taehyung.
“Do you feel it?”
“The dreadful feeling of having glitter on my fingers? Yes, I do. I most definitely do.” Jungkook
complains with a little pout, trying to get rid of the sparkling dots of golden glitter on his fingertips.
Taehyung huffs, crossing his arms.
“Now you’re just hating for no reason.” Taehyung accuses. They both turn to the hallway when
they hear paws hitting the hardwood, and the younger cackles to himself as he already knows what
it is. “She took so long to come, I think that she can’t walk very well with her sweater on.”
Jungkook takes a stressed hand to his head. “My poor baby, what did he do to you?!” he asks,
rhetorically. “What did you do to her?” Jungkook watches the dog biting down the Christmas
sweater, trying to get rid of it, but to no avail.
“What are you talking about, she clearly loves it!” Taehyung giggles, though he’s proven incorrect
when Moon rolls on the floor, growling at her own futile attempts to rip the fabric.
“This is atrocious, she hates it.” Jungkook whines. “Christmas sucks even for dogs, she doesn’t
deserve this. That’s such an ugly sweater, too, it doesn’t match her fur at all!”
“Oh, my God!” Taehyung perks up, his smile widening even further. Jungkook blinks, confused,
and given the context, rather scared, too. “I already got us our sweaters!” he informs with a cackle.
“We have to take a picture with them on— and with Moon! We really have to. Hold on a second.
Wait here.”
“No—”
“Don’t you dare move from there!” Taehyung giggles as he makes a run for it, leaving the living
room with quick strides. Jungkook’s eyebrows furrow and he sits down on the couch, looking at
his struggling dog that is yet to successfully bite on the sweater.
“I feel you, my baby.” Jungkook says, sympathetic. “He’s so lucky that I love him, I’d never be
doing this for anyone else. Our apartment looks straight out of a Disneyland set, you look like you
could be Santa’s Little Helper… This is a disgrace.” he chuckles, shaking his head. “I need you to
pretend to like the sweater, he’s too happy for you to destroy it.”
But Moon keeps rolling around, unhappy.
“Sit.” Jungkook orders, and she does, leaving the sweater alone. “Good girl.”
Taehyung’s back soon enough, his shirt already on, and another one in his hand. “Here you go…”
he holds his hand out, and Jungkook removes the tee shirt that he’s wearing before putting on the
sweater that Taehyung bought for him. His face morphs into the most unamused expression ever.
He stares down at himself, frowning even more if possible. The sweater is warm, a little cozy even,
but he hates it: there’s Rudolph the reindeer in the center, and the red nose is three dimensional, a
big ball standing out on his stomach.
“There’s no way that this could get worse.”
“Hold on…” Taehyung instructs, stepping closer to lift Jungkook’s shirt — Jungkook’s eyes widen
at the action, but he doesn’t say anything. The younger man appears to be looking for something,
and he ends up pressing on a small button that makes the shirt light up in some random spots where
he thought only had knitted Christmas lights; they’re not simply knitted, and he can see that now.
What bugs him the most, however, is the red nose lighting up as well. Taehyung looks radiant.
“This got so much fucking worse.” he complains, analyzing the shirt. Taehyung laughs, loud and
bubbly, and the elder is just not having it. “This is pure humiliation, I can’t believe that you really
picked this one knowing just how much I hate— Why would you?!“
“Hey, look at me.” Taehyung calls, so he looks up, only to see the aforementioned holding his
phone. The sound of a few pictures being taken, one after the other, only makes his frown increase.
“Give me a smile, c’mon, you have such a charming smile. Show it, just once, pretty please.”
Taehyung encourages.
“But I look stupid.” Jungkook whines, still looking down at himself. “Your parents will hate me
and then— Tae, stop taking pictures, I’m going to cry!”
Taehyung laughs, stepping closer to him so that he can throw one arm around his shoulders,
bringing their faces closer as he switches to the front camera of his phone to focus it on the both of
them. “You’re not smiling.” Taehyung complains jokingly, facing the side to press a loud kiss to
Jungkook’s cheek.
It’s just for the picture, Jungkook forces himself to think so that he’s not filled with foolish hope.
However, Taehyung’s lips are just centimeters away from his own and, even if he knows that
Taehyung doesn’t mean it like he wishes he did, it still makes his cheeks blush.
Besides the blush, it also makes a shy smile stretch on his lips that gets captured in the next photo
taken.
Taehyung pulls away, satisfied, to look at his phone. He doesn’t even look at himself, only does he
inspect Jungkook in the picture: that charming smile and the adorable pink tone on his cheeks; his
long and wavy hair, piercing eyes.
“You’re so cute.” he compliments.
Jungkook huffs. “I’m not cute, I’m hot.” Taehyung scoffs, still looking down at his phone as he
leaves the kitchen with an affronted Jungkook following him closely. “Tae, come back, I hate
being called cute. I don’t want to be cute, I want to be attractive.”
“You can be both, you see. You’re cute and attractive… You just happen to look more cute than
attractive in this picture.” Taehyung shrugs. “I’m sending this to—”
“I hate being called cute, Gosh.” Jungkook holds onto Taehyung’s shirt, surprised when the
younger male turns around to face him and steps so close that their noses are almost touching.
Jungkook’s eyes widen impossibly more. “W-What—”
“You’re still cute.” Taehyung whispers, followed by a giggle.
Jungkook has to lean away from him, unwilling to risk being that close to Taehyung’s lips again.
He can’t do something stupid and ruin everything, Taehyung means too much. “I hate this.” he
settles for changing the topic. “I hate this sweater, the season, the—”
“Oh, wait, I forgot something.” Taehyung laughs mischievously, pulling him closer again. The
elder has to bite down on his bottom lip when he feels a hand on one of his pectorals as Taehyung,
again, looks for something in the shirt. “Where is it…” he struggles, not even noticing the blush
high on Jungkook’s cheeks again.
Just as Jungkook thinks that nothing could get worse, a Christmas song can be heard, starting out
of nowhere and breaking the silence when Taehyung finally finds the other small button.
Jungkook closes his eyes and breathes in. “Please, tell me that this song isn’t coming from the
shirt.” Taehyung laughs even harder, and he sounds so happy that Jungkook can’t even be upset.
He can, however, pull the fabric over his head immediately. “This is humiliating.”
“Careful—!” Taehyung just about wheezes. “You can’t ruin the shirt, it was the best one I found. It
matches your Christmas spirit so well, I’d never be able to find another one as good as this one.” he
says between giggles.
Jungkook groans. “Can’t I just show up like this?” he gestures towards himself, now that he has no
shirt on, and he desperately wants some sort of reaction. Taehyung follows his hands, eventually
stopping on his exposed abdomen, and he just waits. He just wants one signal, just one, just a small
little hint that he can hold onto with the small ounce of hope that has yet to die.
Taehyung’s eyes take a second too long looking at him, and he doesn’t know how to feel about
that. That’s a good sign, right? Right? “I’m pretty sure that this wouldn’t be very Christmas
appropriate.” Taehyung finally speaks, his eyes still on Jungkook’s chest.
“How come? Isn’t Christmas supposed to be all about… gifts and that shit? I’ll be presenting you
all with something good to look at.” he says with a smile, and their eyes meet yet again.
“Huh.” Taehyung raises an eyebrow. “You never get cocky, I really don’t know whether this is
entertaining or if I want to suffocate you.” Jungkook laughs. “But, yes, sure, if that makes you feel
any better.”
“I’m good looking, just admit it.” Taehyung turns around, a faint blush on his cheeks. Jungkook
steps closer, wrapping his arms around him; Taehyung’s red sweater is equally as comfortable, and
it seems just as warm. He doesn’t smell badly, as he had previously stated, either. All that
Jungkook smells is his cologne, and his body wash. He smells amazing.
“I don’t have to admit anything—”
“That’s true, you don’t have to… I already know it.”
“Hm, I’ve come to the decision that it’s a suffocation matter.” Jungkook chuckles. “You’re good
looking.” he hums right behind Taehyung’s ear, letting him go as he strides to get himself a glass
of water. “But you’ll still wear the sweater, you’re not getting away from it.”
Jungkook groans. “Goddamn it.”
Taehyung smiles. “Good.”

│►
“…and Hoseok wants to go to Japan, but we’ve been there before, so I don’t want to go again. I
don’t know where else to suggest, I don’t know where I want us to spend our honeymoon, but I
know that I don’t want to go to Japan again. Maybe somewhere with a beach or something… warm
weather would be nice.” Jimin complains, one hand holding his head up as the other holds his
phone, his distressed face right on Taehyung’s laptop screen as they FaceTime.
Taehyung’s sitting on the couch, right next to Jungkook, but the latter isn’t involved in the
conversation, too focused on watching a sleeping Moon right next to his feet. She’s still wearing
the Christmas sweater, but she’s long given up on trying to fight it.
“Well… One of you two will definitely have to compromise. Just get someone planning it for you,
there are many companies that plan honeymoons. I was going to get someone to plan mine, but
Hyungsik didn’t want a honeymoon…” he sighs, and that finally gets Jungkook’s attention on him.
“But Hyungsik is a piece of trash.” Jimin rolls his eyes. “Wait, I have to go, Hoseok is just now
getting home, and we have a long conversation ahead of us. We’ll get to a final decision, I’m
sure… otherwise we’ll go with the planner.” he smiles at the camera, waving goodbye.
“Alright, keep me updated.” Taehyung smiles, waving back. “Have a good night, in case we don’t
talk again today.”
“I’ll call you later, surely.”
“Alright. Later, then.” Taehyung closes his laptop after Jimin sends a little mocking kiss, and turns
to his best friend who has already shifted his attention back to the dog. “Why are you pouting so
hard?” he asks, endeared.
“She looks stupid…” Jungkook points.
“I think that she looks pretty cute to me.” Taehyung shrugs. “If you think that my devotion for
Christmas is bad, you’ll go insane at my parents’ house. They decorate everything. Literally
everything. Bathrooms included, you’ll be squirting hand soap from a Santa bottle.” he smiles,
putting the laptop aside.
“Great, I’ll have Santa fucking squirting on my hands.”
Taehyung gasps at the crude joke. “Hyung, I cannot—” he pinches the bridge of his nose, cackling
to himself. “Your humor is so dirty.”
“You haven’t even seen anything yet, I hold back with you.” Jungkook closes his eyes, throwing
his head back against the couch. “Fuck, this is so lame, I don’t want to go anymore…!”
“Oh, shut it, you’ll have fun.” Taehyung turns to him completely, his legs bent on the couch in a
way that lets him rest his chin on one of his knees. “I mean, hyungie, if you seriously don’t want to
go or if you just don’t want to wear the shirt, you don’t have to. It’s ok, either way. I won’t be upset
if you’ve changed your mind, I just have to let my parents know that I’ll be staying here for
Christmas… and don’t let that bother you or cloud your judgment. I won’t be sad or angry if we
stay here. I’m not letting you stay by yourself.”
“But…” Jungkook faces him. “I still want to join you.” he pouts. “And I want your parents to like
me, so I’ll follow your tradition and wear the stupid shirt… Just don’t turn the song on, or I’ll be
forever traumatized if that thing plays in front of someone.”
“Alright. Alright, I won’t. Are you sure that you want to come?”
“Yep, I’ll go with you. I don’t mind the over-the-top decorations… not even cumming Santa.”
Taehyung gapes. “Thanks, I’m not going to wash my hands ever for the time that I’m there.”
Jungkook cackles. “I’m sorry, I’ll stop, I’ll stop.”
The younger rolls his eyes, flicking his chin. “Who’s watching Simba and—”
“We’re leaving them behind?” Jungkook interrupts, his smile slowly disappearing. “I didn’t— I
didn’t know about that…?” he gulps. “Why must they stay here…?”
“I have quite a lot of cousins that are still very young… There will be many kids, and it’s a long
drive… I just thought that it would be easier to leave them with Yoongi or Jimin and Hoseok…”
Taehyung explains, placing a hand on Jungkook’s thigh. “I can call them and ask whether we can
take Moon with us, though.”
“No, no.” Jungkook shakes his head; he hates being a bother. “She’s just a dog.” he tries to smile,
but saying those words is almost hurtful. They’re not true, and he doesn’t believe them one bit.
“But she’s not, is she?” Taehyung asks, rhetorically. He knows him too well. Jungkook pouts,
giving it a shrug as Taehyung takes a hand to his wavy hair to thread his fingers through it. “I
know that she’s not ‘just a dog’ for you. Talk to me.”
“It’s just three days, I should be fine.”
“It’s been a rough month for you, hyung.” Taehyung sympathizes. “A lot of bad things happened
and you’re probably exhausted. Will you be fine without her? If you promise me that you will,
then I won’t call my parents, but if you think that this may lead you to a breakdown of any sorts,
she’s going with us.”
Jungkook stares at his lap for a few seconds before he looks up, gently cupping Taehyung’s cheek.
“Will you be there with me?”
“Of course.” Taehyung nods.
“Then I’ll be ok. You’re… You’re all that I need to be ok.”
The younger man smiles, placing his hand over Jungkook’s. “I’m here.”
│►
Taehyung peeks into the kitchen, looking for his best friend, and smiles once he spots him there.
There’s a small light on, and Jungkook is writing something on a paper sheet, contrary to his
expectations; he thought that he’d be on the couch watching a show or a movie.
“What are you doing?” Taehyung asks, curious.
Jungkook looks up for one brief second, but quickly continues writing with a little shrug of the
shoulders. “I’m making a list.” he explains, leaning back when Taehyung steps closer to try and
read it. He then pats his thigh, unsure whether it will get Taehyung to sit down, or if the
aforementioned will just bend down enough to read it.
Another good sign, he assumes, when Taehyung chooses to sit down on his thigh. One of
Jungkook’s arms winds around him right away, keeping him close.
“Let’s see…” Taehyung holds the paper. “How to take care of Moon.” it reads. “Really?”
Jungkook looks up, given that Taehyung’s eyes are higher than his due to the position, and he just
smiles. “It’s highly necessary. It’s more than just a few hours. Three days is a lot for a dog, their
time goes by differently… I need to make sure that—”
“Babe, I’m pretty sure that Yoongi knows how to feed a dog.” Taehyung teases, and Jungkook has
to hide his face against Taehyung’s arm, that one simple word turning his insides to mush. Babe.
Taehyung called him babe.
“It’s not just about feeding.” he finally manages to say after breathing in and out a couple of times
to collect himself. “It’s all about… nurturing.” he explains.
“Hm, you’re right. Give me your pen, you forgot something.”
Jungkook hands him the small object without questioning, watching as Taehyung leans closer to
the table to write something on the paper. He busies himself running his fingers up and down
Taehyung’s spine, unable to keep his hands to himself when he can just not. Taehyung doesn’t tell
him to stop, nor does he lean away from his touch, so he doesn’t stop.
For Taehyung, it’s relaxing.
“Here.” he informs. “Number thirteen on the list, be dramatic as heck so that she feels as though
her owner never left.” Taehyung reads, a smile taking over his lips once he’s done. “I believe that
she’ll feel at home.”
“I hate you.” Jungkook complains, pinching the soft skin of Taehyung’s leg — not too harshly,
though, as he could never hurt him intentionally. Taehyung only laughs, turning around on his lap
to properly place his arms around Jungkook’s shoulders. Jungkook hugs back with no hesitation,
inhaling the milk and coconut scented body wash as Taehyung’s fresh out of the shower.
“You don’t.” Taehyung says, as a matter-of-factly. “Christmas is in just three days and I haven’t
bought your gift yet… What would you like to get? I’m unsure of what to get you.”
“You want to know what I want for Christmas?” Taehyung nods. “You.” he tries to ignore how his
heart immediately starts beating faster, terrified of the possibility of Taehyung, for once, not
missing the hint and actually understanding what he meant. It was a pretty obvious one.
He doesn’t know how to have that conversation.
He’s not prepared yet.
Soon, maybe, but definitely not now.
“I’m here already.” Taehyung tilts his head. “Be serious… What do you want to receive?”
Jungkook wants to sigh. He was serious, he was very serious.
“I don’t want anything other than you… and love.” Taehyung frowns, lifting Jungkook’s chin with
one careful finger to make their eyes meet once again.
“You have me. I’m always here for you.” he says. “And you have so many people that love and
care so much about you. I don’t want you to think that you don’t have love, you have so much
support around you, hyung. Everyone that knows you, loves you.”
Jungkook nods with a little forced smile. That’s not the kind of love that he wants. “Yeah, you’re
right.” he gulps. “I already bought your gift.” Taehyung smiles, taking his hand to Jungkook’s hair
to, again, thread his fingers through it. “It’s not something big or expensive, it’s just something…
symbolic. It will mean a lot, but also mean nothing at the same time.”
Taehyung tilts his head, puzzled by the hint. “Well, I don’t know what it might be, but I’m sure
that I will love it just because it comes from you.” he assures. “And now I feel bad that I don’t
know what to get you… Do you want a phone or maybe— maybe a laptop? Would you like a—”
“No, Taehyung, my God.” Jungkook’s eyes widen. “I know that you’re rich and all, but I don’t
want you spending money on me. Please, I don’t even want a gift, you don’t have to get me
anything, I don’t mind not receiving gifts. I don’t even like surprises.”
“But I have to! I have to get you something.”
“Tae, you bought me an expensive ass camera just the other month, you got an agreement for me
to go to college in January… How can you possibly think that you have to get me anything else?
You genuinely don’t.” Taehyung pouts. “I don’t need anything. I need you, and Moon, nothing
else.” he pauses. “And that rat that you insist on saying that it’s a cat. I feel like it’s part of the
family by now.”
Taehyung presses his lips into a thin, disapproving line. “I should just get you a hamster since you
want a rat so badly.”
“Oh, God, no.”
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 51 │►
Chapter Notes
We hit 200k words woop woop
Jungkook sniffs, fingers still carefully threading through Moon’s fur as the dog rests on his lap,
both on the backseat of Taehyung’s car. They’ve been there in front of Yoongi’s apartment for
what feels like an hour already, but Jungkook just can’t find it in himself to get up and leave the
vehicle.
They’ve already left Simba back at Jimin’s and Hoseok’s shared apartment, they’ve made sure to
leave their own place spotless, and the only thing left to do is drop Moon off, which is, to put it
lightly, a very hard task to finish.
Taehyung turns to the back to face them. “Hyung, I can call my mom and ask her for permission to
take Moon with us. If you can’t say goodbye, we can persuade them.” he assures, smiling
sympathetically. He can only imagine how hard it is for Jungkook to let go.
Jungkook sniffs as he shakes his head; he doesn’t want that. “I don’t want to bother anyone…” he
says with a sigh. “Let’s just get going. The drive is long, and we’re already behind schedule
because we’ve been here for so long.” the elder decides, opening the door and getting out of the
car.
Taehyung blinks, surprised at the sudden action, but does the same. “Wait up for me…”
“I’m waiting…” Jungkook halts.
“Will leaving her here make things worse for you?” he asks, locking the car before jogging up to
his friend. “What if you need her there, for some reason? What if you need her to calm you down?
She’s the only thing that helps you relax most of the time…”
“That’s not true.” Jungkook shakes his head. “There are two things that relax me and calm me
down: Moon, and you. You’ll be there with me, I can just turn to you if I need, so I must suck it up
and leave her with Yoongi for just three days…”
“Alright.” Taehyung smiles. “If you’re there and need to come back home, you just need to tell me,
and we’ll return. I won’t comment, I won’t question it, I won’t say anything.” he assures as they
rest against the elevator walls, Moon sitting between them.
“Thank you, Tae.” Jungkook whispers, leaning closer to nose at Taehyung’s cheek. Their eyes
close at the action, warm smiles taking over their lips. Taehyung doesn’t lean away, if anything, he
only leans into the touch, so he doesn’t pull back.
“Did you tell him that we were on the way?”
“I texted him, but he didn’t reply.” Jungkook nods, leaning back so that their eyes can meet again.
“I hope that he’s awake, it’s pretty early… I’ll have to ring the doorbell continuously if he doesn’t
open the door right away.” he comments, trying to make light of the situation as he’s one second
away from running off with his dog — he can’t believe that he’s just dropping Moon off.
It’s just three days, he knows, but that doesn’t make it less bothersome.
How is he supposed to sleep without the weight of his dog on his legs? The fur on his face that
will, most definitely, make his nose runny in the middle of the night, but still, makes him feel
comfortable? How is he supposed to sleep without her?
“Hyung? C’mon.” he shudders, blinking a couple of times to find Taehyung already out of the
elevator, his hand pressed on the door to make sure that it doesn’t close with Jungkook and Moon
still inside. “Are you alright?”
“Yes, yes, I just got distracted.” Jungkook forces a little smile, leading the way to his friend’s door,
as Taehyung doesn’t really know the number. He rings the doorbell once.
They wait in silence for only a couple of seconds, Yoongi opening the door almost right away with
only one eye open; he’s covered from head to toe in fuzzy clothing, trying to fight off the
December cold. “Good morning.” he greets, voice raspy. “I fell asleep after reading your text, I ran
from my bed just now.”
“I can tell.” Jungkook jokes, which grants him a well-deserved middle finger. “Are you sure that
you’re ok and— and available to look after her? Your parents are coming over, and you know that
Moon loves new people and, I don’t know, I don’t want her to bother you or get in the way of your
parents—”
“Kooks, for the twentieth time, I’m completely fine looking after her. My parents love dogs, and
my young brother was thrilled to know that he’ll have a buddy to play with. I’m going to take care
of her to the best of my abilities. I promise you this much.” Jungkook nods with a little pout. “Now,
pass me her things, I—”
“Not so fast.” Jungkook interrupts, holding one finger up, shoving his other hand in his front
pocket to get the list that he so thoroughly prepared — the last item, added by Taehyung, crossed
over multiple times with a little angry face drawn on the side in case Yoongi is able to tell what
was written there.
Taehyung smiles to himself, watching Yoongi’s face morph with confusion when he reads over the
title. Then, he laughs.
Jungkook blinks. “Why are you laughing? This is serious, I wrote it the other day.”
“Kooks, you’ll be gone for three or four days, I don’t need a dog guide.” he says, but Taehyung can
see the way that Jungkook’s face falls, so he quickly steps closer to press a reassuring and
supportive hand on his lower back, giving it a little pat.
“It’s very important for us that you treat her accordingly. The list is brief, and it doesn’t have much,
but we’re better safe than sorry.” Taehyung smiles, trying to pass the message intended with the
look that he gives Yoongi; eyes widening for a split second, head nodding.
“Right, you’re right.” he seems to get it. “I’ll follow the list attentively, and I won’t cheat on any of
the uh, the steps. I’ll follow all of them.” Yoongi assures, folding the paper before putting it back
in the front pocket of his pajama pants. “You can give me her things now.”
“Oh, I forgot to add something to the list.” Jungkook urges. “Don’t pet her too much… I don’t
want her to like it too much here, otherwise she’ll forget about me and she’ll prefer you.” he states,
and he looks serious and certain of his words.
“Oh, my God.” Yoongi lets out, dumbfounded.
“Hyung, that could never happen, she loves you too much.” Taehyung chuckles, a little too
entertained; he probably shouldn’t find this whole thing funny. “Say your goodbyes, we should get
going or we’ll get there really late…” he reminds.
“You’re right, I’m sorry.” Jungkook kneels down, cheek immediately licked by his dog. Moon lets
him embrace her, tail wagging happily; she can never have enough of his attention. “Dad will be
gone for a few days, alright?” he says, threading his fingers through her long fur. “I’m going to
miss you so very much… I love you.”
Moon barks. She always does at those words, and Jungkook isn’t quite sure of why, but it makes
him laugh every time. He has no idea of how he accidentally taught her such a trick.
“I’ll miss you a lot. Don’t be a pain in the ass for Yoongi, alright? You need to behave.” he gets
up, sniffing so that his tears don’t fall; he still can’t stand the thought of crying in front of other
people. Well, other than Taehyung.
Yoongi takes Moon by her leash, keeping her by his side. “I’m going to close the door now.” he
informs, slowly stepping backwards and inside of his apartment. Moon follows, albeit confused, as
she keeps her eyes on her owners, as if to check whether they’ll go in, too.
“Bye, baby.” Taehyung waves; he’s already played with her enough both at home and in the car,
and he knows that if he takes longer now, Jungkook will end up going back to hugging her and
they’ll be exceptionally late.
The door slowly closes, giving Jungkook the time to protest, but he doesn’t.
He just stands by Taehyung’s side, quiet.
“Are you okay?” Jungkook nods. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah, let’s just go.” he smiles, turning around to lead the way. Taehyung jogs to catch up to him,
holding onto his forearm to keep him back — which is unsuccessful, as he doesn’t stop, nor does
he slow down, simply walking side by side with their arms linked.
“I brought one of her toys, it’s in my suitcase.” Taehyung says. “It’s that blue one that she’s always
playing with. I know that it’s not much, but I thought that it could make you feel a little better… if
you have anything of hers.”
Jungkook smiles. “You must think that I’m stupid.” he almost mumbles, chuckling to himself as he
stares down at his feet once they get inside the elevator.
“I don’t.” Taehyung shakes his head. “I would never think such a thing.” he takes a step closer to
hug the older man, placing his nose right against Jungkook’s neck. “You’re the best person that
I’ve ever met, so whatever it is that you’re feeling, I’ll understand. Or at least try my hardest to
understand. I’ll never think that you’re stupid, especially not about something like this. I know that
she’s been your rock for… God knows how long.”
“Someone else would just say that it’s just a dog… Which is really hurtful.”
“I know, hyung.” Taehyung kisses his jaw before stepping back to walk out of the now open
elevator. He misses it when Jungkook closes his eyes to take a deep breath in. It’s torture, it really
is. Taehyung always innocently kisses his sensitive spots and he’s supposed to not react to that —
He’s only human. It’s hard not to react sometimes.
“I-I’ll just sleep on the drive there, so that I might wake up in a better mood.” Jungkook rushes to
say as he jogs out of the elevator when it dings, a clear indicator that it was just about to close with
him still there. “I don’t want to upset you or your family on Christmas Day with my bad mood. In a
few hours, everyone’s going to be opening gifts and celebrating, and here I am. Worrying you.”
“Hyung, I don’t care what day it is, if you’re upset, then I’m helping you in every way that I can.”
Taehyung smiles, reassuring. “I’ll wake you up for lunch, I packed us some food. I got a lot of
fruits for you, I know that you love those.”
Jungkook frowns. “Gosh, you’re amazing.”
│►
“I spy with my little eye…” Taehyung starts, right hand on the steering wheel, his left elbow on the
window as his eyes scan the outside to try and find something. “Oh, I got it. I spy something red.”
he finishes, confident of the challenge.
Jungkook chuckles, taking another chip to his mouth. “It was the road sign.” he says, laughing at
the frown that takes over Taehyung’s face right away. “It’s twenty-one to two now. You’re losing
so damn hard, I can’t believe that you even suggested this.”
“I hate this game.” Taehyung mumbles. “It’s your turn. Don’t go easy on me, I’ll get it this time, I
know it.” he instructs, confident.
Jungkook nods, eating yet another chip as he looks around, trying to find something a little easier
this time. He smiles to himself when an idea pops into his mind. “I spy with my little eye,
something beautiful.” he challenges.
Taehyung quickly looks out the window, puzzled. “Is it the sky?” he tries.
“No, it isn’t.”
“Uh… Perhaps the food right there?” Taehyung points at the bag on Jungkook’s lap, smiling when
the latter laughs, head thrown back against the seat; he’s in a better mood indeed. “It was a valid
guess, don’t laugh at me.”
“It was very valid, but it’s incorrect. You only have another chance.” Jungkook warns, his amused
eyes never once leaving Taehyung’s confused features. “Or you can always just admit defeat and
say that you absolutely suck at this game.” he shrugs with a little smirk.
“I shall not.” Taehyung frowns. “Is it that ring that you always wear? It’s pretty.” Jungkook looks
down at his hand, lifting an eyebrow. Good guess.
“Nope.” he chuckles. “And… You’ve lost again.” Jungkook shows him his tongue when Taehyung
firmly glares at him before facing the front again. “Your turn.”
“No— Wait, first, what was it?” Taehyung asks.
Jungkook gulps. Right. He forgot about that part. He knew that Taehyung wouldn’t guess it right,
but he didn’t stop to consider the fact that he’d have to actually say it aloud. “It was uhm, you. I
mean— It’s you, you’re… beautiful.” he admits, looking out of the window once again. It’s better
to be honest, rather than coming up with a dumb excuse. It’s better this way.
Taehyung remains silent, only focusing on driving, but he can feel his cheeks burn with the
compliment. Him? Beautiful? “Thank you, hyung… You’re very beautiful yourself.” Taehyung
whispers. Jungkook’s eyebrows furrow, surprised; he’s never been called that before. “We’re
almost there.” Taehyung informs.
Jungkook’s still looking away, doing nothing but trying to hide his blushing cheeks. He feels like a
teenager again, feeling all of those butterflies in his stomach, his heart beating faster, cheeks
burning. He feels like a kid with a crush. Somehow, he likes it.
“I’m nervous.” he voices. “You have a big family.”
“My parents love you, and my sister does, too. They’re the most important ones that will be there,
if you ask me.” Jungkook pouts. He knows that. “If my other relatives don’t share the same
opinion, then that’s their problem. I’m sure that everyone will love you just as much, though,
there’s literally not a bad bone in your body.”
“Oh, stop…” he looks down, eating another chip. “I just hope that they do like me.”
“They will. I’m sure of it.”
│►
“Put it on.”
“No.” Jungkook crosses his arms. “I’ll look stupid.”
“That’s the whole point!” Taehyung laughs. “We’re all supposed to look stupid, that’s why we
specifically look for stupid, ugly Christmas sweaters. The goal isn’t to look cute or fashionable.
Just put it on.” he motions towards the sweater again.
“But— You look cute with yours, I’ll look like an idiot.” Jungkook furrows his eyebrows, slapping
Taehyung’s hand away with little to no strength. “I don’t want to wear it.”
“I’ll do anything.” Taehyung persuades.
“Switch, then. Let me wear yours, and you’ll take mine.” the blonde is quick to deny such a
request, and Jungkook scowls. “Why the hell not?”
“Because yours is so much worse than mine.” Taehyung admits with a laugh that has Jungkook
squinting at him in some sort of glare that only looks funny to him. “I know that you don’t like
Christmas, that’s why I wanted to put you in an even funnier shirt. You’ll wear it proudly, okay?”
he beams. “For me? Please?”
And how is Jungkook supposed to resist those eyes? “Fine.” he finally gives in, putting it on over
his own tee shirt. Taehyung giggles to himself as he looks for the small button to turn on the lights,
and Jungkook has to breathe in. “This is so embarrassing.”
“You’re so cute.” Taehyung cackles, opening his door to get out of the car. “C’mon, we’ll come
get our suitcases later.” he instructs, and Jungkook quickly follows. The house is gigantic, and he’s
only ever seen such a thing in movies, so he already knows that he’s going to feel displaced the
whole time. Hopefully not.
“How long do I have to keep this on for?” Taehyung doesn’t reply, instead, he gives him a guilty
look paired with a bite of his bottom lip to keep his smile away. “So, the whole day, I’m
guessing…” the blonde only nods. “Great.”
“Hyung, if you really don’t want to wear it, you can take it off. It’s okay.”
“No, I want to. But I don’t want to.” Taehyung blinks. “I’ll wear it, but I’ll complain the whole
time.” he informs. “Don’t mind me.”
“Well, if you feel like taking it off before the day is over, you can just go ahead and do it, no one
will be upset.” Taehyung reassures, ringing the doorbell. It’s only when they hear the locks being
undone that Taehyung takes his hand to Jungkook’s chest to press on the small button that makes
Jingle Bells start playing, loud and clear.
Jungkook wants to either perish, or punch himself on the chest hard enough to break the music box.
Maybe both.
“Oh!” Taehyung’s mother smiles, her face lighting up as soon as she sees them. “This is amazing,
you’ve joined our tradition!” she laughs, stepping closer to throw her arms around Taehyung’s
shoulders, eyes still on the older man. Jungkook gives her a sheepish smile back, the tips of his
ears reddening. “I’ve missed you, son.”
“I’ve missed you too, mom.” Taehyung hugs her just as tightly before she moves on to Jungkook.
Their hug is quicker, she doesn’t kiss his cheek six times as she does to the blonde, but it’s still
warm, and he enjoys it very much. “His shirt sings, isn’t it so amazing?”
“It is!” she steps back to take a good look at it, only to laugh again. “No one has ever gotten a
singing sweater before… You’ve really just outdone everyone on your first try.” he compliments,
touching his stomach to bop the red nose.
“I’m glad to know that I got just the right one.” Jungkook tries to sound enthusiastic, he even
smiles, and Taehyung can’t help but to laugh; he can see right through it, and it’s hilarious.
“Come on in, you two, it’s cold.” she gestures for them to follow. “You’re quite early. No one has
arrived yet, you’re the first ones here… Your dad just left to get your aunt and cousins from the
airport, so they’ll be gone for at least another hour, too.” she explains as she leads them to the
kitchen.
Just as Jungkook assumed from the outside, the house is enormous on the inside. It’s well
decorated, everything has light tones, and it’s very open; tall ceilings, it looks expensive. He likes
it, but he’d get lost in a house like this, he’s not used to it. The staircase itself is probably bigger
than his entire apartment. Strangely, it feels homely, he doesn’t feel as tiny and out of place as he
had predicted.
“I have to pee.” Taehyung informs. “I’ll join you guys in a second.” he looks at Jungkook for
confirmation that he’ll be ok on his own, and the older man gives him a smile and a nod, walking
quicker to get to Taehyung’s mother.
“I’m baking cookies.” she says. “I mean, they’re already baked, I was just now starting to decorate
them. Would you like to help me?” Jungkook locks eyes with the woman for a moment, surprised
by the sudden suggestion. He’s never done such a thing.
He nods, nonetheless. “Yes, of course.” he picks up a heart-shaped cookie, trying to think of what
to do with it. There are multiple frosting colors on the kitchen island right in front of them, along
with some tools to help, so he can get creative, but he still has no idea of what to do with the
cookie.
“Now that we’re alone… I’ve been meaning to personally thank you for everything that you’ve
done for our Taehyungie. His dad and I are truly thankful, not only for housing him, but also for
giving him a warm shoulder after breaking up with Hyungsik. We hated that guy, but he loved
him… and we can imagine just how much support he needed. You’re truly an angel, Jungkook.
We’re very thankful to you.”
“I hated him too.” he sighs. “And uhm, thank you for saying that, but I’m not an angel. You don’t
have to thank me, first and foremost, but especially because I’m not— I’m not the good guy here.
There’s a lot that you don’t know. I’ve hurt Taehyung before… a lot.” he gulps, reaching for a
small brush to get the pink frosting to try and distract himself.
“What do you mean?” she turns to him, a tree-shaped cookie in hand. “How did you hurt him? Was
it bad? He didn’t tell me anything about it…”
“It was… bad.” Jungkook gulps. “It was a decade ago, and he says that he doesn’t really care that it
happened, but recently I can’t get it off of my mind, and I can’t ignore the fucking guilt that I—
I’m sorry for cursing. I-I meant that I can’t ignore the guilt whenever I think about what
happened… I treated him very roughly when we were in high school, I was a horrible person back
then, and I didn’t treat him fairly. I’m really sorry about it, and I thought that you should know
about this. I’m no hero, no angel… I was in the wrong, too.”
“Oh, I knew that I had recognized your face from somewhere.” she snaps her fingers, pointing at
him. “I saw you crying a good handful of times when I went to pick Tae up. I think that I even
mentioned it to him, I commented about how sorry I was for you, but he didn’t say anything.
Neither good, nor bad. He’d never answer when I said something.”
“He’s too good. I picked on him a lot…”
“Well… You two are grown men, so if he’s forgiven you, then I’m not going to be the one to hold
this above your head. I’m happy that you told me, that makes you so much more trustworthy,
you’re very honest, and I appreciate that.” she smiles. “But, Jungkook, if he says that he doesn’t
care, maybe you should stop beating yourself up over things that happened a decade ago.”
Jungkook sighs. “It’s hard to do that, it’s hard to forget.”
“Most things in life are hard to do, but we always find a way around them.” she shrugs. “It was
such a long time ago, you gain nothing by thinking about this and holding onto it. If he’s moved
on, then move on, too.” Jungkook smiles when he feels a hand on his shoulder, giving it a
reassuring squeeze.
“Thank you. This means a lot to me.”
As the woman smiles back, they just focus on their cookies, letting the silence be filled by the song
playing in the background — a song which, unfortunately, is a Christmas one. Jungkook tries to
overlook that, simply because he’s trying to be a good sport.
Taehyung’s mother manages to decorate three cookies at the same time, whereas he puts his utmost
attention on the single heart-shaped one that he’s picked first.
“How does this look?” he shows her the cookie once he finishes it, smile bright and big.
“That looks lovely, Jungkookie.” she praises, nudging his arm as he puts it down to start on a new
one. “Let me just say that I’m really happy that you decided to join us for Christmas this year… but
did you not want to spend the holidays with your family?”
Jungkook deflates. “I uhm, I don’t really have a family to spend Christmas with.” he watches as her
smile falls, replaced by a sad and guilty expression. He can tell that she feels horrible for bringing
it up. “It’s ok—”
“I’m so sorry, Jungkook.” he still says.
“It’s ok.” Jungkook shakes his head. “You had no idea, you couldn’t know. Don’t feel bad about it,
you don’t have to apologize.” she still doesn’t look any happier, and he feels guilty for bringing the
mood down; he could’ve just come up with a good excuse.
“Is that why Taehyungie invited you?”
“Yeah, he didn’t want me to spend the holidays alone, as I used to.” the young man shrugs, finally
settling on a snowman-shaped cookie to decorate next. “I truly hate Christmas, so I didn’t really
care about staying back at home by myself, but he really loves the season… It wasn’t that hard to
say no, you and Mr. Kim are lovely to me, I just really hate Christmas. I’d do anything for him, so
all that it took was a pout, really.” he chuckles.
She stares at him for a second too long, completely silent, before putting her cookie down to face
him properly. “Are you two hiding something?” Jungkook gives her a puzzled look. “Are you two
together? You can tell me if that is, we wouldn’t be upset.”
Jungkook chokes on his spit. “No, we’re not.” he can feel his cheeks, ears, and even neck turning
red. “But uhm, I do have… romantic feelings for him. He has no idea, though, so I beg you not to
say anything about it. He can’t find out. Not like this, and not through anyone that isn’t— well,
me.”
“I won’t tell him.” she reassures with a giggle that reminds him of Taehyung. “Gosh, you two
would be such a cute couple! The way that you talk about each other is already so cute, I can only
imagine how it would be if there was actually something going on. You have my full blessing, and
I can only hope for the best.”
“Don’t be too hopeful.” he has to say. “I don’t think that he cares for me in that way… He gives
me some— I don’t know, signals, but I could be reading it all wrong, so I’m terribly scared of him
finding out and hating me for this. I’ve been giving him some hints, but he completely misses
them.”
“Misses them how?”
He opens his mouth to answer, only to be interrupted by Taehyung coming in. “Sorry that I took so
long… You got some rooms renovated, and I was checking them out. They look amazing, I love
what you’ve done with what used to be the maid’s room.”
“Oh, thank you.” she smiles. “I love how it turned out, too, it was a good investment.” he nods,
stepping closer to the older man who’s still very focused on his task. “We’re decorating cookies.”
“I made you one.” Jungkook informs, looking at him with the biggest heart-eyes that Taehyung’s
mother has ever seen; it makes her coo, but she does her best to be quiet. “It’s… my heart. Have it.”
he offers, aware of how risky it is.
As per usual, it flies right past Taehyung’s head. “Oh, it looks adorable. Thank you, hyung.”
Taehyung smiles, stepping closer to press a kiss to Jungkook’s temple. “That looks tasty, too…”
“You should try it.” his mother points, trying to focus on her frosting, but failing when she sees
Jungkook pick up the cookie instead, holding it out before Taehyung’s lips.
He takes a bite. “Hm, that’s really delicious.” he compliments. “Have the rest, it’s so good.” and so
Jungkook does, munching on it with what looks like an angry frown — If he doesn’t look upset
while eating, then he’s not enjoying the food, Taehyung has concluded some time ago. “I’ll
decorate one for you, too. What shape do you want?”
“Your heart.” Jungkook feels himself blushing yet again.
Taehyung giggles, eyes on the counter as he looks for one. “I will make sure to decorate it
beautifully.”
“You don’t have to decorate it to make your heart beautiful, Tae.” Taehyung’s mother has to look
away not to let out any sort of comment, but she feels like squealing.
“Hyung, you’re too nice.” Taehyung tsks, but the blush high on his cheeks is enough to make
Jungkook smile. “I’ll still make sure to make it pleasant to the eye.”
Jungkook hums. “I’ll be sure to appreciate it.”
│►
Jungkook cuts his meat carefully, taking a piece to his mouth when he feels something tug at his
shirt; someone. A small little hand. “Hey.” he hears, so he swallows, turning towards Taehyung’s
cousin who’s sitting right next to him. Everyone at the table is involved in the same conversation,
but he stopped listening to it long minutes ago.
“Hey.” he replies, smiling down at her. She mirrors the action, one of her front teeth missing. “Is
everything okay? Are you having trouble cutting your food?” Jungkook asks, unsure as to why she
tugged on his shirt so suddenly.
“No, no. I just think that you’re really handsome.”
Jungkook laughs at that, the sound bright and bubbly, and it makes her smile even harder. “Thank
you. You’re very pretty yourself.” he makes sure to compliment her back. The little kid is five-
years-old, if he’s not mistaken; he remembers her mother saying so while introducing them.
“We should get married.” she suggests with such a serious tone that makes him unable to keep yet
another laugh in. She doesn’t look like she’s joking; in the slightest.
“That’s quite fast. Shouldn’t I buy you flowers first?” he asks, taking a hand to fix the hair clip on
her head.
“I do not have time for that.” he’s taken aback. “Dating is too complicated, and boys are useless.
We should get married because you’re handsome, though. You have cute teeth, and you have
dimples. That’s very cute.”
“Cute teeth—?” Jungkook tilts his head. “You know, for people to get married, they have to know
each other very well first… They should know, like, everything about each other. They should date
for a while, get to know one another, and then commit to such a thing. Marriage is not that
simple.” he explains.
“Well…” she looks away at her food. “Your name is Jungkookie, you’re uncle TaeTae’s friend.
My name is Sarang, and I’m five-years-old! That’s enough, isn’t it?”
Jungkook has to laugh once again. “Fair enough.” he nods, giving in. “We can get married since
we know each other’s names and I know your age.”
Sarang smiles. “TaeTae!” she calls, getting Taehyung’s attention to shift from the conversation.
“You’re invited to the wedding.” Taehyung furrows his eyebrows, puzzled. “I’m getting married to
Jungkookie.”
Taehyung laughs. “Hey, don’t laugh at our commitment. It’s pretty legit.” Jungkook defends. “She
thinks that I’m handsome, so she already treats me way better than you ever did. I’m still not over
you calling me cute.”
“You’re both cute and handsome. I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it as many times as necessary.”
Taehyung smiles. “And to you, Sarang, I don’t think that that’s quite possible. He’s almost thirty.”
“Now, that was too much—”
“Mom…!” she almost yells, positively shutting the entire table down. “Uncle TaeTae is being
mean to me.” Taehyung laughs, his cheeks becoming red at how hard he does. “He’s saying that I
can’t marry Jungkookie.”
Everyone laughs, and Jungkook feels a little awkward now with everyone’s attention on them.
Taehyung’s family is very big, and he doesn’t enjoy the pressure of everyone’s eyes on him.
“Is she giving you a hard time? I swear, she can be a piece sometimes.” they chuckle again, given
that they all know her antics already, but Jungkook only looks down to give her a reassuring smile.
“She’s not giving me a hard time, don’t worry.” he winks. Sarang smiles.
So does Taehyung. Seeing Jungkook happy warms his heart.
That’s all that he wants to see. Always.
│►
It’s past eleven when they find themselves lounging around the house, some smoking outside,
some together in the kitchen, some sitting at the table playing board and card games. Everyone
agrees to meet at midnight in the living room to open the presents, so now they’re just waiting.
There are way too many gifts under the tree.
Jungkook’s sitting on one of the couches with Taehyung right by his side, and Sarang is sitting on
his lap, sleeping soundly against his chest. She fell asleep as soon as she sat down, claiming to be
far too sleepy to wait for midnight.
Taehyung’s parents are on the other couch in front of them, engaged in some conversation with
their son that Jungkook isn’t quite paying attention to, he just focuses on stroking Sarang’s back;
slowly, up and down.
“What about you, Jungkook?” he’s brought back to the conversation when Taehyung’s father
addresses him. “Have you found a job since we last spoke?” the man asks with a curious smile.
“Oh, yes, I did. I did almost immediately, actually.” he smiles back. “It’s at a local coffee shop. It’s
a really lovely place, and my coworkers are all super nice and friendly. I hope that I can change my
shifts to fit my schedule once I start going to college, because I really don’t want to quit working
there… I enjoy it a lot.” Jungkook explains, voice low not to wake up the kid sleeping on his
chest.
“That’s great, really great.” the woman smiles. “We told you that you’d find something. You’re so
young, you shouldn’t worry too much… Enjoy what you have, and take things slowly. Everything
falls into place, eventually.”
“I was never able to enjoy anything. My whole life, I’ve always been… surviving, rather than
living, so taking a step back and calming down instead of worrying, is way too hard for me. I can’t
enjoy the present without worrying about tomorrow.” he admits, looking down. “My life hasn’t
been the easiest.”
Taehyung sneaks a hand under their shared blanket, searching for Jungkook’s own to hold, and
their fingers immediately intertwine on their own. He just wants to show comfort, reassurance, and
Jungkook feels it. He always does.
“We understand. If you ever need anything, whatever it may be, Jungkook, you can count on us.
Just give us a call, and we’ll be there for you.” they smile. “You’re family, too. You’ve been good
to us, and you’ve been exceptionally good to our son. You’re one of us. You’re family.”
Jungkook squeezes Taehyung’s hand even harder. Those words are just too much, and he feels like
crying. His family? They’re his family? Everyone is treating him so nicely that it just makes him
want to bawl his eyes out. He’s considered family? He has a damn family again?
Taehyung is looking at him, his thumb caressing the back of his hand; he can see how those words
hit the older man. “It is almost time. It’s almost midnight.” Taehyung changes the topic, checking
the time on purpose. Jungkook gives him a thankful, relieved look. Taehyung just smiles.
“Oh, it is!” his mother perks up. “Exchanging gifts is always so exciting, I cannot wait!”
Jungkook starts sweating. The gifts.
“Oh, God.”
│►
Chapter End Notes
Now I really must ask... what do you think the gift is going to be?
◄│ 52 │►
Chapter Notes
So... double update? Hehe
Jungkook’s body feels hot all over, and he’s pretty certain that he’s blushing like crazy everywhere
possible. His hands are so shaky that he had to let go of Taehyung’s over half an hour ago so that he
wouldn’t be able to tell just how nervous he is.
“Oh!” Taehyung’s mother perks up, clapping her hands once as an alarm goes off. “It’s midnight.”
she informs, getting up from the couch with a large grin. Jungkook watches as everyone starts
coming back to the living room, one of Taehyung’s uncles dressed in a Santa Claus outfit that
looks very comical.
There are three teenagers whispering to each other, and Jungkook’s pretty sure that they’re just
making fun of the poor man.
“Someone wake the kids up.” Jungkook looks down at his chest, slowly shaking Sarang, sure not
to be too rough when waking her up. He succeeds; her eyes open ever so slowly, looking up at him
with a confused pout on her small lips.
“It’s midnight.” he informs, pushing the hair out of her face. “You should get up if you want to get
your gifts, miss.” Sarang smiles, sitting up almost right away. Jungkook helps her get on the floor,
making sure that she doesn’t fall; she’s still sleepy.
Taehyung adjusts the blankets on their laps once again, searching for Jungkook’s hand underneath,
but is left pouting when it slips away — the elder is quick to cross his arms, unwilling to let
Taehyung feel how sweaty his palms have become.
“Since it’s Jungkookie’s first time joining us, I’ll briefly explain how we usually do it.”
Taehyung’s father gets up, gesturing to the man in the Santa costume. “My brother will grab a
present and give it to its destined owner. Said owner shall open it, and then we’ll move on to the
next gift. Since we’re a lot of people, we can stay here for hours doing this.”
Jungkook has to force a smile, trying to mask just how nervous he is. “That sounds great.”
“Wait, I want to give a gift first.” Sarang informs as she runs towards the Christmas tree, grabbing
a small box, poorly wrapped up, with one of the bows that she had earlier on her hair, just prettily
sitting on top of it. “It’s for you.” she says once she stops in front of Jungkook. It’s enough to make
everyone chuckle, given how dinner went.
“Oh, you got me a gift?” he smiles, sitting up straight. “You truly are such an amazing wife.” she
blushes, handing him the box that he opens carefully, even though he’s a second away from
begging everyone to look away from him. He hates being watched, it makes him nervous.
It’s a ring, he realizes soon after. The band is white, and it has a pink flower; he’s also pretty sure
that he’s seen her wear it during dinner, but still does his best to look surprised. “Do you like it?”
Sarang asks.
“I love it. You got me a promise ring?”
“No! It’s a wedding ring.” she states the obvious. Taehyung can only watch with a smile as she
reaches for his much larger hand to slide the ring herself. It doesn’t fit any of his fingers, so she
decided to just leave it until the first knuckle of Jungkook’s pointer finger. It’s better than nothing.
Everyone’s amused, to say the least, but they do move on, opening their gifts and sharing the
stories and meanings behind them. The time passes with hugs, laughter, and some tears, but it’s
overall a great moment, Jungkook has to admit. He’s enjoying it far more than he thought he
would.
And he’s surprised to receive many gifts from different people — Taehyung’s parents and sister
included — which he finds extremely endearing as not only is he a stranger to everyone else, his
presence was also very late announced.
His heart misses three beats in a row as the man, Santa, picks up the present that he bought for
Taehyung. He’s quick to sit up again when their names are read. “I actually— I’d prefer it if you
opened this alone. I mean, only with me.” he admits. He wants it to be just them.
Everyone goes quiet, curious, trying to understand the reasoning behind it. Taehyung doesn’t even
question him, only nods. “Of course, hyung, as you wish.” he smiles, and Jungkook mirrors it. It’ll
buy him some time. “Then you must open mine in private, too.”
“You’re making us curious.” one of the boys says; one of those making fun of the tragic Santa
Claus outfit. “What are those gifts? Why must they be private?”
“It’s a surprise.” Jungkook shrugs. “You can’t know.”
“Lame.” the boy throws back.
“Language, young man.” his mother reprehends, a finger held up. “We’re sorry, you can have your
privacy as much as you want, you don’t have to tell us.”
Taehyung turns to him to offer a reassuring smile, his hand finding Jungkook’s thigh under the
blanket. Jungkook tries to smile back, but he’s way too nervous for that. There’s too much on the
line, and everything lies on a stupid gift that he’s starting to have second thoughts about.
He can’t back off now, though, and that’s what makes his hands shake the most in all of this.
│►
“Are you two staying down here?” Taehyung’s mother asks, given that everyone has already left
— either to their houses or to the room that they’ll be staying in for the night. They’re the only
ones still up, sitting on the couch with the warm blanket over their legs.
“Yeah.” they say at the same time, and he nods, stepping closer to kiss both of their foreheads.
Jungkook feels his chest filling up with a comfortable feeling. He enjoys it.
“Have a good night. And don’t go to bed too late, it’s already past four.”
“Don’t worry.” Taehyung smiles, watching as she leaves the living room, turning off the lights on
her way out. The only sources of light are the fireplace and the Christmas tree, and it sets the mood
just right. “Come with me.” he instructs, getting Jungkook to get up and follow, both sitting down
on the floor instead, near the fireplace. “What I got you has a meaning behind it, so I’d like to
explain it… It’s not huge, but it’s… something.”
Jungkook takes the box that he’s handed, opening it carefully. It’s a necklace, he finds; a grey full
moon hanging on a beautiful silver chain. “It’s so pretty…” he whispers, picking it up so that he
can properly inspect the pendant.
“I must explain it.” Taehyung smiles. “I remember when you told me that you used to sing a song
about the moon to your sister to make the noises go away, and how you believed that your
grandma was up there on a mission after she passed… I know that the moon holds a lot of meaning
to you, and I wanted you to always have it with you.” Jungkook’s eyes shine, unable to look away
from Taehyung’s. He never thought that Taehyung paid that much attention to his stories.
“Thank you so much, this is perfect. I already loved it on its own, but even more now with the
explanation.” he smiles, genuine, taking his hands to his nape to place the necklace around his
neck. “N-Now you should open yours. Or not. I’m really fucking nervous, I don’t even know what
I want you to do, if I’m being honest.”
“Why would you be nervous?” but Jungkook only gestures to the box, and Taehyung nods as he
picks it up. It’s not heavy, but it’s bigger than the one that he gave Jungkook.
“Remember when I said that it will be both meaningless and extremely meaningful?” Taehyung
nods again. “You’ll understand what I meant once you open.” he gulps, motioning for Taehyung to
open the gift. And he does, he tears the wrapper with quick fingers, and curious eyes.
Jungkook’s heart seems to want to beat its way out of his chest as Taehyung takes the lid off of the
box, and he can see how confused the younger gets once he sees the pretty yet not too big, ball of
mistletoe, tied up with a red string meant to be used to hand it.
“I don’t— I don’t get it.” Taehyung looks up at him, confused, and Jungkook has to hold himself
back from facepalming; he couldn’t be more obvious if he tried.
He gulps, nonetheless, looking at him. “Mistletoe is hung during Christmas so that people kiss
when they’re caught standing under it…” he tries to beat around the bush for a moment, but
decides to just go for it. There’s no way back now. “I want to kiss you again.” he whispers, too
weak to maintain eye contact, so his attention shifts to Taehyung’s hands as he plays with the
leaves.
“Why… Why would you want that…?” Taehyung whispers back, and he wonders whether his
heart actually stopped beating, or if it’s just the numbing pain of the question. He looks up, staring
into Taehyung’s confused eyes. He doesn’t look angry, nor disgusted, he just seems to be curious,
confused; definitely surprised.
“You don’t… want to kiss me?” Jungkook asks with a little smile, holding onto the very last fine
string of hope all the while trying not to cry on the spot.
Taehyung looks down. “I’ve never thought about that…” he whispers yet again.
“I have.” Jungkook decides that he’s dope dropping hints, he just wants to be honest. “Ever since
that day, the day that you freaked out because of Hyungsik and I kissed you. I couldn’t stop
thinking about it, about doing it again and why I wanted to. I couldn’t stop thinking about… you,
and us. I mean, you and I.” he admits. “I love you. The reason why Yun and I didn’t work out, the
reason why I behave the way that I do with you— I love you, Tae.”
Taehyung’s eyes widen, his jaw slacks. What?
Jungkook’s chest feels relieved of a lot of pressure, his shoulders feel so much lighter, but as
relieving as the confession is, it’s just as equally terrifying. Especially because Taehyung’s not
saying a word.
“Hyung…” he finally looks up. “I don’t— Hyung…”
Jungkook nods, picking up the mistletoe. “That’s alright. I’ll just put this away. I-It was a nice
idea, though, you have to give me credit on that, it was creative.” he tries to joke, but each word
makes his heart hurt even more.
Taehyung can only watch his every move with worry pooling in his eyes. “Hyung—”
“No, no, it’s ok. I just— I need to go to the bathroom.” Jungkook still smiles, but Taehyung can see
the tears in his eyes as he gets up after closing the box again. Taehyung’s a little too late to process
what just happened and, when he does, Jungkook’s already on his way out of the living room.
“Hyung, please.” Taehyung calls, but to no avail. Jungkook doesn’t turn back to him, simply
leaves, and Taehyung sighs, looking down at the mistletoe. His mind makes sure to replay
everything that Jungkook just told him, and he finds it a little hard to believe.
Jungkook loves him? How is that possible?
He’s not worthy of someone’s love, Hyungsik proved that to him already. No matter how much he
loves, how much he cherishes, he won’t be loved back; he doesn’t deserve it, he’s not worthy of
such a strong emotion.
So, how can Jungkook say that he loves him without a second of hesitation? Without stuttering?
Taehyung looks up from the floor to the door where Jungkook disappeared to just a few moments
prior, sighing to himself. He gulps, letting the words sink in.
Jungkook loves him. Jungkook is honest, so he wouldn’t be lying about it. Jungkook really loves
him. The best man that he’s ever met, has romantic feelings for him. The person that has always
treated him better than everyone, cares for him that much. It makes him smile, and it’s hard to
ignore his heart beating faster, the warmth creeping up to his cheeks. Jungkook loves him.
Jungkook really loves him.
│►
Jungkook sniffs, finally managing to get himself up and off of the bathroom floor to walk up to the
sink. He rests his hands on the cold ceramic, eyes catching his own in the mirror, and he looks
horrible. His face can’t hide how he’s cried for the past ten minutes, and his hair shows just how
much he’s tugged on it. He turns on the sink, using both of his hands to collect some cold water to
splash on his face.
He washes his face a couple of times, only to give up when it barely does anything. With a sigh, he
dries it off with the towel that has one too many Santa figures.
When Jungkook opens the door, he startles himself once he sees Taehyung standing across from
him, leaning against the wall. The blonde perks up, stepping closer to him with one of his arms
raised — he’s holding the mistletoe.
Jungkook just stares, confused, tired, and sad. His head hurts, his chest hurts, and he just wants to
get in bed and stay there for as long as he’s able to. “What is this…?” he asks, his energy drained,
as he gestures towards Taehyung.
“Mistletoe is hung during Christmas so that people kiss when they’re caught standing under it.”
Taehyung repeats what Jungkook told him some minutes ago, and he steps even closer so that he’s
holding the mistletoe between them. “Kiss me.” Jungkook doesn’t even react. “My arm is hurting
already, I held this for about five minutes before I gave up on waiting…” Taehyung giggles. “Kiss
me.”
“No.” Jungkook shakes his head. “You’ve made your intentions clear. You don’t feel the same
way, and that’s ok, but you can’t do this out of pity just because I cried like an idiot… as I always
do, apparently.” he sniffs. “I’ll be fine, it’s fine…” Jungkook tries to smile, but Taehyung knows
him too well to believe it. “I don’t want to kiss you just because you feel bad, so put the mistletoe
down. I’ll get over this—”
His eyes widen when two hands carefully hold his cheeks, followed by a soft pair of lips fitting
perfectly against his own. His own hands move on their own, finding their place on Taehyung’s
hips, a second away from pulling him closer, but he can’t. He can’t let the kiss continue.
He pulls away with a sad frown; Taehyung can see just how confused he is, how close to tears he
is, so he opens his mouth to explain what he’s thought of, but stops when he hears approaching
steps. “Come with me.” he whispers, taking Jungkook’s hand in his with a little smile, before
leading him up the stairs.
Jungkook remains quiet, simply trails after Taehyung all the while trying his best not to sniff, as
that’d be just embarrassing, and allows himself to be guided to the room that they were already
planning to share — for the sake of preventing his nightmares, of course. Jungkook could’ve
stayed in a room by himself, but they both knew what that’d lead him to.
Taehyung points to the bed, and he gets the silent instruction, so he walks up to it while the
younger man closes the door and puts the mistletoe on a safe surface. He just sits down with his
focus on his lap, the feeling of those pillowy lips still lingering. It doesn’t feel ok. Knowing that
Taehyung doesn’t really want it, and that he’s just being pitied feels horrible, and he hates it. He
hates it so much. Pity feels way worse than rejection.
He only looks up when a soft hand touches his chin, prompting him to meet his eyes, and
Taehyung gives him a little smile before leaning closer, closer, closer, until their lips are touching
again. It’s softer this time, they’re barely even pressed together, so careful.
Jungkook closes his eyes when the blonde presses closer, his hands unsure of where to even rest,
because he wants to touch everywhere, yet has to settle on Taehyung’s waist. He feels euphoric,
feels everything and more, his heart beating so fast that he believes that it might just beat its way
out of his chest.
Taehyung, on the other hand, doesn’t feel the fireworks, doesn’t feel his mind racing, doesn’t feel
any of that — he feels calm. So, so calm, and it feels so, so right. His heart keeps missing beats a
little too often, and it’s beating a little too fast, but he enjoys it.
He places a hand on Jungkook’s sharp jaw, tilting his head just enough to deepen the kiss as his
tongue tries to get past his lips, but that’s Jungkook’s cue to pull back. They both open their eyes,
slowly, staring at each other with so much love and adoration that it’s almost unbearable to them.
“What are we doing?” Jungkook whispers in the dark room.
“I don’t know.” Taehyung whispers back. “I don’t really know what I think yet, I don’t know what
I feel, and I don’t know what I’m doing, but I’m really enjoying your kisses, so… kiss me again.”
he smiles, warm and shy, but Jungkook only frowns harder. He looks sad.
“I don’t want to.” he gulps. “You don’t know why you’re doing this, while I’m doing this because
I’m in love with you, and I don’t want to wake up tomorrow and have you say that you don’t want
my kisses anymore. My heart is fragile, and this is tough for me, as it is.”
“But I do want to kiss you.” Taehyung pouts before smiling and leaning closer again to join their
lips in a simple, quick, short peck.
“Hey—!” Jungkook frowns. “That’s not very nic—” the older man whines at the back of his throat
when he gets yet another peck, Taehyung’s lips touching his so quickly that he barely even feels
them. “Tae, I’ll cry. I’ll seriously start crying again.”
“Alright.” the blonde nods, leaning away. “What if I kiss you first thing in the morning? Do I get
to kiss you now?” he offers, his hands reaching for Jungkook’s to hold carelessly on top of his
thighs. “I need to think, I need to think a lot, but for now… I’d like to just kiss you.”
Jungkook worries at his bottom lip, thinking it through. “If you wake me up with kisses, I may
consider…”
Taehyung smiles. “Okay, I can do that.” he leans closer, moving his head side to side ever so
slowly to caress Jungkook’s nose with his own. “Can I kiss you now?”
“I want to cry.” Jungkook whispers, eyes closing.
“Why?” Taehyung whispers back, his breath fanning over Jungkook’s lips.
“I’m just so fucking happy.” he admits, and though Taehyung doesn’t say anything, it’s not
followed by any sort of awkward silence. Taehyung just leans in for another kiss, a hand back to
his jaw, and welcoming the hands that settle on his waist.
He’s already growing fond of Jungkook’s lips. They’re soft.
He can’t wait to have more of them.
│►
Jungkook continues stroking Taehyung’s arm up and down, trying to ease him to sleep. They didn’t
kiss as much as he’d like, as his stuffy nose ended up getting in the way and making him have to
get up to get a few tissues. Once he returned and saw Taehyung yawning, the decision to sleep was
an easy one to make, despite wanting to continue exploring and getting familiar with the young
man’s lips.
Taehyung looks up at him, his cheek resting comfortably on his pectoral. “Hyung?” he calls,
making him open his eyes as well, only to meet his already waiting ones. “Since when have you
been feeling like this?” he asks, placing his hand over Jungkook’s heart.
“I told you.” he bops Taehyung’s nose. “Ever since I kissed you that one time… I told Yun about
what had happened, and she just said so much about you, and about the way that I look at you,
speak to you, that it left me thinking. I went to see Yoongi about this, I even talked to Jimin, Jae…
they all opened my eyes. They helped me consider everything, they helped me realize just how
badly in love I am — and have been — with you.” he explains, his fingers still caressing the side of
Taehyung’s arm.
“Jimin knew? This whole time?”
“Yeah, he did… Don’t be mad at him, though, I was the one asking him to keep it a secret until I
felt brave enough to tell you.” Jungkook explains with a little smile. “I genuinely thought that all of
them were wrong, I couldn’t believe that— I don’t know, they had to be wrong… But since I
accepted it, everything just felt so much more real, it made sense, and yeah, I couldn’t ignore my
feelings anymore.” he would be embarrassed if it weren’t for Taehyung’s curious eyes and warm
smile. “I’ve dropped so many hints, you’re so fucking dense, Tae.”
Taehyung laughs. “I’m so sorry, it must’ve been so incredibly hard to have to deal with me.”
“I wanted to rip my skin off sometimes.” he jokes, lifting his free hand to push Taehyung’s bangs
away from his eyes. “But it was worth the wait…” Taehyung smiles, kissing Jungkook’s chest over
his shirt, right above his heart.
They both look up at the door when they hear it open ever so carefully, Taehyung’s sister peeking
into the bedroom to check whether anyone is awake. “Oh.” she chuckles, opening the door
completely, her arm carefully holding Miyun. “I was going to wake you up and ask you if you’d
like to help me with my baby. I’m just going to feed her, but I know how much you enjoy spending
time with her and… well, I’d get some time alone with my little brother.”
Taehyung looks up at the older man, almost as if asking for his silent permission, asking him if
he’ll be ok on his own, and he gets it in the form of two suave pats to his arm. He gets up then,
following his sister on her way out of the room.
“So… Aren’t you going to do some explaining?” she starts as soon as they get to the kitchen, and
he furrows his eyebrows, confused. “Why were you two sleeping like that?”
“We always sleep like that.” Taehyung dismisses, but his attention shifts to his hands, fiddling with
them as his sister properly positions her baby to feed her. “Can I… Can I talk to you about
something? I’m so— overwhelmed, and I’d appreciate your sisterly advice.”
“Of course, go ahead.” he encourages.
“His gift was a mistletoe.” his sister tilts her head. “You know… You’re supposed to kiss when
there’s mistletoe above you. He uhm, he confessed to me tonight.” she gasps once she puts two and
two together, only to squeal. “It’s cute, I know.”
“That’s such an adorable and creative idea, God, I’m so jealous. Now I understand why he wanted
you to open it alone…”
“Yeah, it was pretty romantic.” Taehyung blushes. “It feels… right, you know? He’s the person
that I trust the most, I’d do anything for him, he makes me the happiest, and tonight I’ve learned
that I like his kisses quite a lot…”
“But…?” he sighs. “That wording brings a ‘but’, doesn’t it?”
“But I’m not sure if I’m ready for a relationship.” Taehyung admits.
“Do you like him, Tae?” his sister asks with a cautious look. “Be honest, he’s not here right now,
you can tell me. Be completely honest.”
“I… do.” he hesitates. “I mean, it’s hard to explain. I had never thought about it until he said those
words to me, I had never considered just how much I’d like to kiss him until he told me that he
wanted to. I had never considered any of that but, now that I stop to think about it, those things
sound like things that I’d never say no to. I like him, I truly do, but I never thought about this
until… now.”
“So, his confession opened your eyes, yeah?” Taehyung nods. “If that’s so, then just go for it. If
you like kissing him, then kiss him. If you like having him that way, then have him that way, Tae.
See where it goes. If it feels right for you, then let it be right. Let yourself enjoy it.” she reaches for
his hand, squeezing it. “I understand that it’s scary to move on after Hyungsik, after everything that
he did to you, but look at me. I went through hell a few years ago, and now I have a fiancé that
loves me, and a daughter that is perfect. You can’t let demons win. I can see the way that Jungkook
looks at you, I even commented on that with mom… He truly cares so much for you, he might just
be the one. If you feel it too, then let yourself have it.”
“But… He’s my best friend, he’s my emotional rock, he’s the first person that I turn to when I need
someone, he’s what I look forward to after a long day, he’s the closest thing to home, and I don’t
want to ruin what we have. What if this doesn’t work out? What if— What if what I’m feeling
right now is just some fake feeling that my brain is making up so that I can justify his feelings and
unconsciously make him feel better, instead of rejecting him?”
“C’mon, not even you believe that. Your brain is not that advanced.”
“Oh, shut up.” he laughs, his sister joining him. “I just don’t want to lose him. Whether romantic or
not, my feelings for him are very strong, and I would be beyond devastated if I lost him now. I
can’t do it, I can’t lose him.”
“From what I’ve seen, I don’t think that you two would be able to be apart from each other even if
you were to find out that this doesn’t work out.” she shrugs. “My advice? Try. Try it with him, and
see where that takes you. If you learn that you don’t work as a couple, then stay friends. Either
way, I’m sure that you’ll be fine. He’s quite an amazing guy.”
“He is…” Taehyung sighs, dreamy. “Just the way that he kisses is so much different than
Hyungsik, it’s unbelievable.” his sister gives him a look that is enough to tell that she wants every
little detail, and it makes him giggle. “Sik didn’t like kissing, to begin with, only during sexual
moments… but, when we did kiss, it’d just be, like, pecks, and he wouldn’t even touch me at all.
Now, Jungkook kisses me like he can’t get enough of it, and— and his hands were always either on
my hip or caressing my cheek… It made me feel wanted, and warm.”
The young woman smiles. “You should go back upstairs before he falls asleep. I’ll be fine here,
thank you for coming with me, but I believe that you two have a lot to figure out.”
“Thank you for listening…” Taehyung stands up from the kitchen stool, kissing the top of her
head. “I’ll head upstairs, I’ll be sure to spend some time with you two tomorrow.” he assures
before leaving the kitchen with quick strides.
He almost jogs up the stairs, but opens the door with caution, lest he wake Jungkook up. “Hey.”
Jungkook greets, contrary to his expectations, as he puts his phone down. “You’re back already.”
Taehyung just smiles with a little nod. “I wanted to tell you something, as I don’t think that I’ve
said enough…”
Taehyung tilts his head, making his way to the bed to sit right by his side. “What do you mean?”
he asks, puzzled.
“I had a whole emotional confession prepared in my head, but I blanked out and I couldn’t let
anything out in the moment. I forgot everything, and I just got it all mixed up in my head…”
Jungkook starts, sitting up. “I was thinking about it while you were gone, and I want you to know
everything that I’m feeling right now without letting my nerves get in the way, so… I wrote it
down.” he bites down on his bottom lip, reaching for his phone. “Can I read it to you?”
“Of course, hyung. Go ahead, I’m listening.”
“I feel kind of stupid, so don’t judge me too much.” Jungkook jokes, letting out a little nervous
chuckle before clearing his throat. “I don’t know what made me fall for you this way, without even
realizing it. I think that it may have been the way that you’re always so understanding, or perhaps
the way that you look at me without an ounce of judgment, with pure care and devotion, looking at
the mess that I am with the same amount of respect every time… through my ups and downs, even
if I—” he stops to take a deep breath, and Taehyung quickly reaches for his free hand. “—even if I
disappoint you a lot. I know that I’ve let you down many times before, and I can’t promise not to
do it again, God knows how I probably will… Even if I constantly fuck up, I still find you there,
next to me. Always. Even when I don’t deserve it, even when I’m down over something stupid,
you never judge me. You care for me, you take care of me. I know that I’m a— fuck.”
Taehyung smiles when he looks up to fight the tears in his eyes, and quickly cups his cheeks to
wipe them away. “It’s ok, hyungie.” Taehyung whispers. “You’re doing so well.”
Jungkook sniffs, clearing his throat again. “I know that I’m a burden, I know that having me means
having a lot of emotional baggage, I know that there’s still a lot to find out about my past and what
made me, me…. But I’m still going to ask you to take a chance on me. I know that it’s hard, I
know that you have your own demons to fight, but w-we can fight them together, if you’d let us.
We’re two very different people, you’re so positive while I only see the bad side of things, you’re
hopeful while I barely even know what that feels like… you’re so incredibly successful and I’m
just me; while you have everything to give, I have nothing. I want to give you the world, but due to
my stupid fucking past mistakes, I can’t. I can’t— Let me skip this next part, it’s really fucking
depressing…” he sniffs, scrolling on the text with his finger. “This text is a mess, you’re currently
downstairs and I should be sleeping, but I can’t because you’re not here, and in such moments, I
stop to think of how dependent I’ve been on you for a long time now. I wonder if you feel the same
way. Do you sleep better when you sleep with me? Do you— And then it ends there because you
came back and I locked my phone…” he sniffs yet again, putting his phone down.
Taehyung remains silent, as he can see that Jungkook isn’t done yet.
“I guess that I just wanted to say that I’m aware that I’m not good for you, I know that I do stupid
things, I know that I let you down, but… you’re always there for me. There hasn’t been a single
time that I wasn’t able to rely on you, even after being a fucking disappointment. You’re always
there, always, with that same smile of yours… and it means so fucking much to me, Taehyung.
You mean so fucking much to me. I love you, I really, really do.” Taehyung doesn’t realize that
he’s crying until Jungkook’s thumb is gently wiping a tear away. “I’m sorry, my love, I didn’t
mean to make you cry. I know that I’m overwhelming you, but I just had to say this. I wanted you
to really understand that I’m not joking, nor am I unsure of what I’m telling you. I’m in love with
you, and I mean every word.”
“I don’t even know what to say.” Taehyung whispers. He never thought that someone could ever
feel this way about him, yet Jungkook’s words sound so genuine. “You’re not a burden, you don’t
disappoint me, and I do sleep better when I sleep with you… and that’s all that I can say right now
and mean a hundred percent. I’m unsure of how to answer the rest, and I have yet to properly think
of everything, and my feelings. I don’t want to just say something that I may not totally mean,
because I can’t stand the thought of lying to you.”
Jungkook smiles; he appreciates the honesty. “You don’t have to say anything. We can talk
tomorrow… or the day after. Whenever you’re ready.” he wipes the new tears forming in
Taehyung’s eyes. “Just promise me that I won’t lose you even if you end up not feeling the same
way about me. I’d rather have you as my best friend than not have you at all.”
Taehyung doesn’t even have to think. “You won’t lose me, that I can assure you of.” he smiles
when Jungkook leans closer to kiss his cheek, taking a second too long. “Will you hold me to
sleep? We should talk about this tomorrow, but I’m tired, and sleepy, and it’s late…”
“I will, of course.” Jungkook smiles, laying down. “Come here…” he pats his own chest, allowing
Taehyung to rest his head there. “Good night, baby.”
Taehyung’s chest feels warm. “Night, hyungie. Sleep well…”
Jungkook stares up at the ceiling. He knows that their relationship will change a lot now, it’s
inevitable. When the morning comes, everything will be different, and he doesn’t even know what
to expect from a rested Taehyung. He can only wish for him to actually want to try to give him a
chance. If he doesn’t, at least he hopes not to lose him as a friend.
He doesn’t think that he can be without Taehyung anymore.
│►
Chapter End Notes
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◄│ 53 │►
Chapter Notes
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│►
Jungkook whines in the back of his throat, sleepy and brain still lazy. “Come here, baby, it’s
cold…” he complains as he turns to his side, trying to cuddle back into Taehyung’s warmth, but his
arm helplessly hits the mattress instead. He opens one eye, only to find that he’s alone in bed.
“Tae?” he calls, loud enough for it to be heard in the bathroom, in case Taehyung is in there.
No answer comes, and he’s left with a pout as he rubs his tired eyes. Taehyung’s phone is still on
his nightstand, so he didn’t leave the house… Jungkook finds it safe to assume that he might just
be downstairs, perhaps in the kitchen getting something to eat.
He gets up from the bed on wobbly legs, very lazily making his way out of the bedroom and down
to the kitchen. The house is silent, everyone still seemingly asleep — which isn’t surprising,
considering how late they all went to bed.
Jungkook smiles once he steps foot into the kitchen, finding Taehyung exactly where he expected
him to be. The young man is leaning on the counter next to a water boiling machine, his arms
crossed and eyebrows furrowed; he’s either annoyed at the water, or thinking about something.
Jungkook believes the latter.
“Good morning.” he greets, watching as Taehyung jumps in place, startled by his sudden
appearance. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“It’s okay, I was distracted… Good morning, hyungie.” Taehyung mirrors his smile. “How come
you’re awake already? It’s still so early.” Jungkook shrugs as he walks the distance between them,
standing in front of him. “Did you have a nightmare?”
“I woke up because the bed was cold, I didn’t have any dreams.” he half-smiles, still sleepy and in
desperate need to lay down again. They barely slept, having gone to bed hours after everyone else,
and his body still feels tired. “Must I say, though, that I’m very upset.”
“Oh? How come?” Taehyung asks, lifting his hands to comb Jungkook’s bed hair out of the way,
definitely taking a little too long doing so as he can now just play with it as much as he’d like.
“What happened?”
“My morning kisses.” Jungkook schools his face into the saddest expression that he can pull,
looking down. Taehyung gasps, playing along. “Imagine how sad I was when I woke up not only
to an empty bed, but also to the realization that I wasn’t going to get my promised morning
kisses… You’re so evil.” he jokes.
“How unforgivable of me.” Taehyung giggles, stepping closer. “Who said that you weren’t going
to get them, though?” he bites down on his bottom lip, a little nervous, but certain of his words. “I
was just making us some coffee so that I could wake you up.” Jungkook gives him a look,
doubtful. “I’m serious.”
“Really?” Taehyung nods, smiling again. “So… Can I go lay down, and we’ll just act like this
never happened, or do you have a better plan?” Jungkook gestures behind himself, and the younger
man laughs, hands tugging Jungkook closer by the hem of his shirt, their hips then pressed
together.
“I’ll kiss you now.” he informs, leaning closer. Their noses touch, but he keeps their lips apart,
almost teasingly. “Okay?” he still asks, even if he knows the answer that he’ll get, his hands still
fiddling with Jungkook’s shirt.
“Okay.” Jungkook whispers, leaning closer, but Taehyung leans back, which does nothing but
press their bodies even closer, Taehyung now caged between the counter and Jungkook’s hips.
“You’re mean.” Jungkook complains, jokingly.
“We have a lot to talk about. I did a lot of thinking that I’d like to go over with you.” Taehyung
whispers, caressing Jungkook’s cheek. “But… But I think that we should have a good morning kiss
first. After all, you were promised one.”
“I like your way of thinking.” Jungkook nods, making Taehyung giggle before he leans closer to
join their lips in a short, quick peck. Jungkook’s eyes open back up, disappointed. “I’ll take what I
can get.” he shrugs, hiding his smile. He knows Taehyung well enough to know that the younger
man is just joking, and that he’ll get a proper kiss.
“Good, that should be enough, then.”
“Yep.” Jungkook agrees.
“Alright.” Taehyung nods. “So, no sugar in your coffee, righ—” he stops when Jungkook’s lips fit
right against his own once again, pressing a little harder this time. It’s not like the innocent little
kisses that they shared the night before, not like the peck just seconds prior; this one has more
intention behind it, more strength.
Taehyung slowly but bravely lets go of Jungkook’s shirt to place his arms around his shoulders
instead, hands mindlessly twirling the hair on the back of his head. Jungkook’s hands waste no
time before they find their own home on Taehyung’s lower back. They can both hear their
heartbeats from how hard they’re hammering in their chests, but it’s exciting .
Jungkook steps closer, if possible, one hand going to Taehyung’s jaw instead to tilt his head to the
side to deepen the kiss even more. He licks across Taehyung’s bottom lip, silently asking him to
part them, and he’s pleased when he’s soon able to experimentally push his tongue into the
younger’s mouth.
It doesn’t last nearly as long as he’d wish it to, as Taehyung pulls back, a little startled and shy,
chest rising and falling a little too fast. They stare at each other lovingly before they both smile,
and Jungkook just embraces him in a tight hug, face hidden in Taehyung’s neck; he always smells
amazing, and it’s such a comforting aroma to him.
“Hyung?” he just hums. “I like your lips a lot.” Taehyung whispers, his fingers still playing with
Jungkook’s hair. He really does have a thing for his hair.
“You can have them all you want now.” Jungkook whispers back, pecking Taehyung’s neck with
nothing but innocence. He’s done it before, but now he can see the young man’s skin reacting to
his touch as goosebumps appear all over his neck. It makes him smile. It’s a good reaction, and it’s
a good sign.
They pull away when they hear quick steps approaching but, judging by the look that Sarang gives
them, they can tell that they weren’t fast enough. “Jungkookie, we really have to talk.” she says,
still holding a stuffed bear under one of her arms. “Right now.”
“You’re in trouble.” Taehyung teases, watching as the kid reaches for Jungkook’s hand to guide
him to the talk stools behind the large kitchen island. Sarang struggles to sit on hers, so Jungkook
helps her climb onto it before sitting down, her legs crossed.
“I saw you and uncle TaeTae hugging, and that’s just not ok.” she starts, waving her hand between
the both of them. “You can’t cheat on me, because if you do, we have to get a divorce and that’s
very expensive.”
Jungkook does his best not to laugh, to keep his composure. “I’m not cheating, I would never.” he
says, a hand over his chest. “You have my full devotion.” but Sarang frowns, reaching for his hand
again to inspect his fingers.
“Oh, you’re a dead man, now.” Taehyung laughs. “Literally.”
“Where is our ring?” she asks, voice high and leg kicking out in the beginning of some sort of
tantrum. Jungkook’s eyes widen, gaping for a second too long as he tries to think of what to say.
“Sarang, baby, you’re already annoying Jungkookie this early in the morning?” her mother asks as
she walks into the kitchen, still dressed in warm pajamas and a robe. “I’m so sorry, she seems to
really like you. You can tell me if she gets too much, I’ll ask her to leave you alone. Even if I doubt
that she’ll listen to me…”
“Oh— No, no, it’s ok. She’s lovely, it’s alright.” Jungkook rushes to say, looking right back at the
kid. “I only took our ring off to sleep so that I wouldn’t lose it. I, by no means, want to stop
wearing it. Pinky promise.” he offers his stretched pinky that she quickly intertwines with her own,
and they both lean in to kiss their hands.
Taehyung smiles at the sight.
“Do you want to have tea with me after breakfast? I’m making it!”
“Is it a date?” she nods. “Hm, what kind of tea are you making?”
Sarang’s mother sighs. “It’s imaginary tea.”
“Yeah, just air.” Taehyung adds.
“It’s not imaginary!” Sarang defends, and Jungkook laughs, reaching for her hand to get her to stop
aggressively pointing at the other two in the room.
“Of course it’s not imaginary, they have no idea of what they’re talking about.” he defends. “I will
have tea with you after breakfast… as long as you have those tiny mugs.”
Sarang smiles; she had insisted on carrying some toys in her bag. “I do have those.”
│►
“Careful, it’s hot.” Sarang warns as she fills up his mug, and Jungkook has to hold it by just
pinching the handle as it’s too small for his hands. There’s nothing pouring out of the empty
teapot, but she makes sure to be as realistic as possible. “I want to tell you something.” she says,
filling up her own mug.
“Do tell me.” he encourages.
“There’s a boy at school that keeps trying to kiss my cheeks.” she explains with a little huff and a
frown. “He has cooties, I don’t like him, and I don’t want his kisses.” Sarang puts her mug down,
crossing her arms defensively. Jungkook just laughs.
“Cooties?”
“Yes! You should go there so that he knows that I’m already taken.” Jungkook hums, holding the
little mug between his palms. “Sometimes I smack his arm, but he still runs after me, and I just
want to smack him again.”
“Maybe you should tell your teachers that playing with him makes you uncomfortable.” he
suggests, shrugs. “Don’t hit him, though. Don’t be mean to people in school, and violence is never
the answer to things.” Sarang pouts. “I’m serious. You’ll regret it once you grow up, so I need you
to promise me that you’ll be a good girl and won’t hit anyone ever again.”
“Yes, I promise.” Sarang says, but Jungkook isn’t convinced. “My dad is also a meanie, so that’s
someone else that we should have a chat with.” she goes on as she grabs one of her Barbie dolls,
the hairs sticking in every possible direction from the multiple hairstyles that she has attempted to
make. “He always makes me do homework before playing…”
“Well… You won’t like my answer, but I believe that he’s right.” the young girl only gives him a
pout. “School is very important, you’ll realize that at some point. Besides, if you get your
homework out of the way as soon as you get home, then you have a long time to play.”
“Aunt Dahye didn’t study, doesn’t work, and is still rich.” she points out, pulling at the doll’s hair.
Jungkook takes a second to process it, before laughing once again. “What—?”
“Your aunt is rich because she’s married to a rich man, darling.” he explains as he combs the hair
away from her eyes. “Given that you have no patience for boys, you’ll have to be your own rich
man, you’ll have to be independent. School will be essential for that success.”
“I have you, I don’t need school.”
“I’m the result of not going to school. Sad, poor. You don’t want that.”
Sarang looks up from her doll, puzzled. “You’re awesome, so if I turn out like you, I don’t need
school or cootie boys. You make people happy, everyone smiles when you speak, and I like
making people smile. Smiles are pretty.”
“As sweet as that is, that’s not how life works.”
“You’re like aunt Dahye!” she points out, eyes wide. “You said poor, and you’re TaeTae’s
boyfriend!” Jungkook chokes on his spit, having to cough a few times to collect himself.
“I’m not dating Taehyung…” he feels the need to say, though she promptly ignores it. “And he’s
not my sugar daddy.” he realizes his own words a little too late. “Hold on—”
“What’s a sugar daddy?” Sarang asks.

“Uh—”
“What are you teaching her?” he turns around to face the door, Hoojin, one of the teenagers that
mocked the Santa Claus outfit, standing right there. The boy looks like he was just on his way back
to his room, as he’s holding a bowl of cereal. “Why were you two talking about sugar daddies?”
“The question to be asked is how do you even know what those are? You’re… twelve.” he turns
the question to him, unsure of how old the kid actually is — he doesn’t remember.
“I’m sixteen, actually.” Hoojin quickly corrects. “And the internet, duh.”
Jungkook scoffs, affronted. “What the fuck is the internet teaching kids these days?” he doesn’t
spend much time online, not finding it nearly as entertaining or interesting as everyone makes it out
to be, so he’s not so sure of how accessible everything is.
“You sound like my grandpa.”
“I want a sugar daddy.” Sarang says, pulling at Jungkook’s shirt to grab his attention once again.
Jungkook’s eyes widen, putting a finger over her lips as he gestures for her to keep it down, panic
starting to rise.
“What did you do?!” Hoojin whisper-yells, looking around to make sure that no one is listening to
their conversation.
“I don’t fucking know!”
“Fucking.” Sarang parrots. Jungkook almost whines as he asks her not to repeat it.
“If she says any of this shit to her mom—”
“Shit!”
“You’re making it worse! Leave, gosh, I’ll fix this.” he gestures for the young boy to leave the
room, and he rushes to do so, laughing on his way out. “Sarang, sweetheart, these are really bad
words, okay? Only adults can say them. Hoojin was already wrong for saying it… You can’t be
going around repeating such things, alright?”
“I know.” she giggles. “It’s funny when adults get all worried that I’ll tell my mommy the bad
words that I hear them say. I won’t repeat them, it’s just funny to scare you.” she explains as she
fills up their mugs once again.
“What the fu—dge.”
“I have a question.” Sarang takes a sip from her tea. “Why were you kissing Taehyungie?”
“I thought that you had only seen us hugging…?”
“I didn’t want to say it sooner to see if you’d be honest… You weren’t.” she sighs, seemingly
upset. “You said that you’re not dating, but you were kissing. How is that possible? Mommy says
that kisses are for those that are dating only.”
“Uhm… Once you grow a little older, you’ll understand that you don’t really have to be dating to
kiss someone. You can just kiss for the sake of it, or because you like the person.”
Sarang gasps. “Have you kissed people that you weren’t dating? Mommy would call you bad
Jungkookie…” she shakes her head. “That’s very irresponsible of you, now when you get married,
your lips won’t be just for them…”
“Of course they will.” Jungkook corrects. “The past doesn’t really matter. What matters is how
you stay loyal to the one that you’re marrying.” he tries to explain. “I’ve kissed many people
before but now… I only want to kiss Taehyung, no one else, and that’s what matters.”
“Hm… Will you two get married?” Sarang asks.
“Let’s climb one step at a time, yeah, we’re not even dating yet.” Jungkook holds his mug out
when she starts filling her own once again. “You have to really love someone and be certain of
what you—”
“Do you love Taehyungie?”
“Yes, but—”
“Then can I carry the rings at your wedding?” she smiles. “I like you so much more than his other
boyfriend. He was really mean, and he didn’t like me. He always said that I was annoying, and he
even stepped on my toys once… so I kicked his shin really hard.”
“Oh, my, did you actually?” Sarang nods with a smile. “That’s amazing, brilliant, even.”
“Didn’t you say that violence isn’t the answer?”
Jungkook hums. “Hyungsik is an exception, you should’ve hit him even harder.”
│►
Jungkook knocks twice before opening the bedroom door, just enough to peek his head inside, and
he smiles once he sees Taehyung sitting on the bed with a book in his hands. He closes the door
behind himself, walking towards the blonde man. “Hey.” he greets.
“Hey.” Taehyung smiles. “How was the tea?” he asks, looking away from the book when
Jungkook lays down, using his tummy as a pillow. Jungkook just chuckles, his mind repeating the
trick that Sarang pulled on him and Hoojin just to see them panic.
“It was great. I love kids, and she’s so adorable… I think that she really gave me baby fever.”
Taehyung laughs quietly, his hand finding its place in Jungkook’s hair. “It’s far too soon for kids.”
he jokes, and Jungkook looks up at him with love-sick eyes.
“What are you reading?” Jungkook’s voice sounds almost faint from how softly he speaks,
watching as Taehyung twists the book around to look at the cover before shrugging.
“A book that I used to love reading when I lived here, but now it’s kind of boring me.” he puts it
down on the nightstand, looking down at Jungkook’s already awaiting eyes. “Now… If you don’t
mind, we should talk. I mean, I want to talk to you.” Jungkook furrows his eyebrows, immediately
growing nervous; those words can worry anyone. “You were honest with me, and I want to give
you the same. I don’t want to give you some half-assed reassurance, so I’ve been thinking since I
woke up this morning. I’ve been thinking and considering everything and… and I don’t want to
date you.”
Jungkook sits up with a little smile, doing his best to ignore the piercing pain in his chest. “I
understand.” he nods. “That’s okay.”
“I like you a lot, I love your kisses—”
“You kissed me this morning because you like my kisses, whereas I want to kiss you because I
love you, and I kind of don’t want to be led on if you don’t want the same thing… I’m happy that
you’re being honest with me, so that I know that you, uhm, don’t want me that way—”
“Hyung, can I finish first?” Taehyung requests. Jungkook doesn’t want to hear more rejection, nor
does he want to know the reasons why Taehyung doesn’t like him like that, but he knows that
Taehyung should be allowed to share his thoughts just as much as he himself is. “I had never
considered… this. Sik made me think that it was impossible for someone to love me, so knowing
that you, the best person that I know, are in love with me, is a lot to take in. You really love me
even though I’m lacking in so many aspects, and though you’re so much better than I am, and that
— that never seemed possible to me. Someone like you loving me feels like some kind of dream,
but I’m still not ready for a relationship yet. I’m not ready for this type of commitment again.
Hyungsik really did a number on me, and I’m still trying to figure out who Taehyung really is… I
love your kisses, and I love the thought of an us , but… I’m not fully ready for this, hyungie.” he
explains, slow and careful with his word choice.
Jungkook looks away from his eyes, confused. He’s not sure of what to think anymore, and he
doesn’t want to hope for anything as he may be getting the wrong idea. Before he can ask anything,
though, Taehyung reaches for his hands to grasp his attention once again.
“You treat me so well, you always have. You’re so gentle and you care so much about me and my
well-being… You handle everything with a level of maturity and strength that I can only hope to
achieve one day. You’re incredibly smart and admirable, you’re a role model even if you don’t
think so… I love you, I just need to figure out how much.” Taehyung intertwines their fingers. “I
love kissing you, I just don’t want to put a label on this and commit to something so quickly. I
don’t want to hurt you, hyung. That’s the last thing I’d want to do.”
“What does this mean…?” Jungkook whispers, looking up at him.
“It means that if you allow me, then I’d like to… explore this, and give us a chance. I want to be
sure of what I feel and of what I want before committing to something. You deserve that much.” he
caresses the back of Jungkook’s hand. “You don’t have to agree but, if you’re willing to wait for
me and give me the time to try this out, then I’d be more than excited to see where we could go.
I’d never find anyone that would treat me better than you do, so it’s not a hard choice for me. I
want to try this, as long as you want to, as well…”
“Tae…” Jungkook worries at his bottom lip, closes his eyes. “I love you, so if you think that
there’s a chance of us working out, then I’d be more than willing to try it, and give you the time to
figure out how much you… love me back.”
“Even if there’s also the chance, even if small, of me coming to the realization that you’re nothing
more than my best friend…?”
“That would hurt like a bitch, but yes.” Jungkook whispers, looking at him again.
Taehyung smiles, leaning closer ever so slowly to give him time to back away, but Jungkook
doesn’t, so he touches his lips in a little peck. He seems to love stolen little kisses, a little teasing,
even. “Are kisses allowed during this period of experiment?” he asks.
“They can most certainly be, I’m not opposed to the idea.” Jungkook nods, and the blonde laughs
against his lips. “Permission to give you kisses whenever I want to?”
“Granted.” Jungkook hums, joining their lips again, but Taehyung leans away. “I do want to
request something, though. Can we maybe keep this a secret…? Just for a little while.”
“Oh, God, I can’t believe that you’re making me your dirty little secret.”
“Shut up—!” Taehyung flicks his chin, rolling his eyes with forged annoyance. Jungkook chuckles,
deciding that it’s enough talking already; one of his hands reaches to gently grab Taehyung’s jaw,
bringing him closer to join their lips again. This time around, neither leans away from it, and
Taehyung’s arms slowly give out as he gets lost in the feeling of Jungkook’s soft lips on his.
Jungkook holds himself up with one of his forearms, still half-sitting while leaning over
Taehyung’s body, and his other hand gently caresses the latter’s cheek. He uses his thumb to gently
part Taehyung’s lips so that he can make their tongues meet once again; they taste like their
morning coffee, and it’s a little bitter, but they’re both too drunk in the kisses to notice.
Taehyung lets out a little surprised huff when Jungkook rolls them over, confidently placing
Taehyung on his lap in what is his favorite kissing position, and the young man straddles him
without really questioning. There are no second intentions behind it, and he can tell.
The kiss doesn’t last long, though, once Jungkook has to pull back to actually process what he’s
just done. They’ve sat in this position before, Jungkook remembers a time that Taehyung even fell
asleep just like this, but it’s so much different now. He enjoys kissing like this because he has full
access to the other’s neck, and his hands can adventure to rest on whoever’s butt, but he can’t do
that now. He doesn’t want to make Taehyung uncomfortable.
That still doesn’t stop his mind from conjuring up scenarios of such things happening.
“What are you thinking about?” Taehyung whispers.
Jungkook considers lying, but he’s become almost transparent in Taehyung’s eyes, so there’s no
use. “Do you really want to know?” the younger man just nods. “That I really want to grope your
butt right now.” his words have the desired effect: a blush is quick to spread across Taehyung’s
cheeks, and he quickly hides it by tucking himself against Jungkook’s neck.
“You’re too crude.” Taehyung whispers, wrapping his arms around Jungkook’s waist.
“I’m simply being honest with you.” he corrects, hugging him back. It’s a cold day, but they’ve
never felt this warm. Taehyung’s hands snake inside Jungkook’s sweater to get even warmer, just
innocently resting against his hot skin; it feels like it’s burning under his fingertips, but perhaps it’s
just the thought that he’s really touching Jungkook like this.
“I’m already enjoying this agreement.” Taehyung whispers again.
“Me too…” Jungkook sighs, happy. “Do you want to go out for some hot chocolate after dinner?”
he invites, slowly rocking Taehyung’s body as he caresses his back. “We could go see the lights
and shit. You like Christmas, it could be cute.”
“And shit?” Taehyung parrots.
“Yeah, Christmas shit.” the elder muses. “We could… call it a date. I’m just suggesting, simply
dropping the idea here.” he bites down on his bottom lip, but quickly shakes his head and speaks
before Taehyung can get a word in. “On second thought, you’re so fucking dense that I’m afraid
that you won’t get what I mean. I’d like to take you on a date for hot choco—”
“Hey!” Taehyung breaks the hug to look at him. “I’m not that dense.” Jungkook remains silent,
only raising an eyebrow. The blonde pouts.
“Don’t do that.” he closes his eyes. “If I can’t see it, then it can’t affect me.”
“Look at me.”
“Absolutely not.” Taehyung kisses him, which promptly makes him open his eyes.
“It’s a date.” they both smile. “I’d love that.”
│►
Taehyung hums to a Christmas carol as he wraps a scarf around his neck, going down the stairs
with a happy skip in his step. He stops when he sees his mother approach with a laugh dying on her
lips. “Oh—” she halts. “Are you going out?” she asks with a smile.
“I’m getting hot chocolate with Jungkook.” he explains. “Has everyone left already?”
“Yeah, they were just physically prying Sarang away from Jungkookie, she wouldn’t let go of her
grip on him.” Taehyung laughs. “She was crying, I felt so bad.”
“Oh, poor thing… she really liked him a lot.”
“Everyone liked him.” his mother corrects, fixing his scarf to make sure that he won’t get cold
outside. “I hope that you have fun with Jungkookie, the city looks amazing.”
“I can imagine.” Taehyung leans closer to kiss her forehead. “I’ll get going now, we won’t come
back too late.” he informs as he puts on his gloves. They bid their goodbyes before he walks to the
front door, and Jungkook’s leaning against it while on his phone. “Hey.”
“Hey…” he finishes typing two other words so that he can press send on his text to Yoongi, and he
puts his phone away as soon as that’s done. Then, he chuckles at Taehyung’s outfit choices: he’s
wearing a warm coat, gloves, a scarf, and a fluffy beanie. “You’re so adorable, it makes me want to
kiss the fuck out of you.”
“You curse way too much. I should start putting pepper on your tongue.”
“You don’t like spicy things, so that’d only be a punishment for you.” Taehyung looks away with
his cheeks flaring red, and Jungkook smirks. “Anyway… Can I hold your hand?” he requests,
unsure of whether he can just take it or not.
“Please.” Taehyung smiles, stretching out his arm. They’ve held hands many times before, but
everything is new now, everything is different, the context is very different. Their fingers
intertwine on their own, and Jungkook takes the initiative to start walking. “First dates are usually
meant for people to start getting to know each other.”
“Hm…” Jungkook gives it a thought. “We know basically everything about each other… We can
talk about the weather, though. It’s not as cold as it was in Seoul, but the temperature seems to drop
more at night here. It’s not as consistent.” he comments, making Taehyung laugh; he’s always
dreamt of having a partner that could make him laugh with the littlest things, and Jungkook always
makes him so happy.
“You’re an idiot.” he teases, squeezing his hand. “Do you still hate Christmas?”
The question throws him off a little bit. The truth is, he didn’t feel as annoyed by everyone’s
Christmas spirit as much as he thought that he would, and he did have a good time. “You’ve given
Christmas a new meaning. I got… a family out of this, how did that even happen.” he chuckles.
“Everyone was so nice to me, and Sarang was fucking adorable… I felt really included and warm
and— like I wasn’t a complete stranger there. Your parents are incredible and… you, of course. If
that shitty saying is right, that there’s a Christmas miracle or whatever, you’re definitely it.”
“You’re so sappy… You make me blush like crazy.” Taehyung pouts. “I love how honest you
always are with me. I love your honesty.”
“I try…” Jungkook gulps, guilty. He knows that there are things that he’s hiding, things that are a
little too serious for him to keep from Taehyung, such as the fact that he hasn’t discarded the
alcohol bottles as he promised to, the fact that he drank them all and bought even more; the fact
that he still drinks, even if not as much.
The walk to the center isn’t filled with too many words, them feeling comfortable in the silence of
each other’s presence, but they do talk about little things that come to their minds as they make
their way there; mostly commenting on the Christmas decorations.
“Wait here, love.” Jungkook instructs as they near a hot chocolate van.
Taehyung smiles, shoving his hands in his pockets while trying to locate an empty bench where he
can sit on and wait for Jungkook to return. He does spot one, right under a tree that has Christmas
lights all wrapped up around the trunk, and he quickly sits before anyone else can steal it. He
watches the elder order a cup of milky hot chocolate, and he can see his confusion once he doesn’t
find Taehyung on the same spot. He waves.
Jungkook’s shoulders relax, striding over to him. “I thought that you had run away for a second.”
he jokes, sitting down right next to him. Taehyung immediately uses the cup to warm up his palms,
even if over the gloves.
“I’d never run away from you.” Taehyung assures, taking a sip. It’s really hot, and it warms his
whole body. “Do you want a little bit?” he offers.
“No, thank you, enjoy it.” Jungkook smiles, throwing his arm around Taehyung’s shoulders as they
both rest back on the bench, watching the other people walk around the park; there are kids
playing, even some dogs. The night is just beautiful, and it’s the perfect scenario for a date. “Tae, I
wanted to ask you what the future is going to look like now…”
Taehyung shrugs, taking another sip. “I’ve actually been thinking about opening my own clinic, so
I may start putting money aside for that. You’re going to start attending college soon, and that’s…”
Jungkook tunes out, staring into the void of the dark sky.
“That’d be amazing, and I’d be immensely proud of you, but I confessed to you just some hours
ago, and I believe that there are still some things left to talk about.” he has to politely interrupt and
Taehyung meets his eyes before laughing.
“I’m really slow at getting these, you’re so right.” he admits. “What would you like to talk about?”
“I’m bringing this up again because I wanted to ask you to be completely honest with me about
this. We’re always honest with each other, but now we have to be even more. If you feel uneasy, if
you feel like this is not something that you truly want or feel like I’m not treating you as well as I
should, I need you to tell me.” Jungkook requests. “I need your total honesty from this point on.
Even if it hurts me. I understand that you like me a lot, and wouldn’t want to break my heart, but
I’d hurt a lot more if I ended up hurting you just because you feel like you owe me anything. If you
want to stop this… experiment, at whatever time, you have to tell me. Please, promise me that you
will. I can’t have peace of mind if you don’t promise me this.” he almost begs, holding onto
Taehyung’s free hand.
“I promise, hyung. I’ll be as honest with you as you are with me.” Taehyung leans closer, pecking
his lips. “I promise.” another peck. “Promise, promise.” he giggles, doing it again.
“I don’t really like chocolate that much.” Jungkook licks his lips after Taehyung pulls away, the
faint taste of chocolate lingering. “The sacrifices that I make for you…” he exaggerates.
“You’re so dramatic.” Taehyung nudges him.
“Hm, only because I love you, so I want to see you smile.”
Taehyung’s heart swells. “It sounds so different when you say it…”
Jungkook tilts his head. “Huh?”
“The way that you and Hyungsik say those words is so… different.” Jungkook remains quiet,
simply blinking at him. “I’m not comparing you two, you don’t have anything in common, I’m
just… making an observation. I was so used to hearing it in a certain way but, coming from you,
sounds very different. It sounds so sweet and so— honest.”
“Because I really mean it.” Jungkook brings him closer. “You’ve promised me something, so it’s
my turn to make a promise… I promise to show you how this is supposed to be. I know that your
only relationship was with that piece of shit, so I’ll make it my mission to show you how you’re
supposed to be treated and loved and— cherished.”
Taehyung smiles, staring at him. “I’d love that.”
│►
Taehyung’s hands still hold the hot paper cup between them, his fingers starting to warm up even if
he’s already finished most of his drink. Jungkook’s hand rests between his thighs, purely for the
warmth; the other hand, however, is cold in his pocket. It’d be weird to have both hands tucked
between Taehyung’s thighs in public.
“…so then Namjoon was like, sure as heck that they—” Taehyung stops as Jungkook’s phone
rings, the older man giving him an apologetic smile, taking the device from his pocket.
“Don’t forget where you’re at in the story, I’ll take this quickly.” Jungkook still apologizes, his
frozen thumb sliding on the screen to pick up Eunjae’s call. “Hey?” he says. For a few seconds
there’s nothing but a few sniffs on the other side, and it makes him sit up straight. “What’s wrong?
What happened?” but Eunjae only sniffs again.
“What’s wrong?” Taehyung mouths, confused.
Jungkook shakes his head with a shrug; he doesn’t know either. “C’mon, Jae, talk to me.” he
insists. “Are you in danger? Do you need me to call the police?” she might have been kidnapped,
for all that he knows.
“No.” she finally says.
“Tell me what’s wrong.” Jungkook requests, his tone significantly softer.

“I came out to my parents, and they basically rejected me. They said so many mean things, I can’t
stop crying.” her voice dies down at the end, and he feels his own heart aching. “I don’t know how
our relationship is going to be like from now on, and I’m so fucking scared. I’m all alone in this,
too. I-I don’t want any of my friends to know about this, because they just don’t understand… or
try to. I know that you understand, though. T-That’s why I called.”
“Do you want me to meet you there?” Jungkook asks, hand squeezing Taehyung’s thigh
apologetically. He doesn’t want to cut their Christmas break short, but if she says yes, he’ll take
the first train back to Seoul.
“No, God, no, of course not.” Eunjae sniffs. “You’re with Tae and his family and just— enjoy it,
don’t even think about coming before you’re done there, okay? I hope that you know that I expect
nothing but every fine detail once you return…” she warns. “I just called because I stormed off
when they kind of told me to leave, and now I have nowhere to go. I didn’t bring money for a hotel
or anything. I’m scared and really cold. I called for some comfort, I guess.”
“There’s a vase by my apartment’s door, and there’s a hidden key in there. The door to the building
is broken, so you don’t need that one key. You can stay in my apartment.” he doesn’t even think
twice. “I don’t know when Tae and I are coming back, if tomorrow or the day after, but you can
stay there until we do, and then we’ll figure something out, okay?”
“Gosh, no, I’d feel like I’m intruding…”
“We’re not there, so you can’t possibly intrude.” Jungkook chuckles. “I’m sure that Tae doesn’t
mind, and I don’t mind, either, so just go to my place and take a warm shower, eat something.”
Taehyung just gives him a thumbs-up, proving him right.
“I know myself, I’m going to touch everything.” Eunjae giggles.
“Just stay out of the last drawer in my bedside table, it’s where we keep the drugs.” he jokes,
making her laugh again. Taehyung giggles too, sipping on his hot chocolate. “Call an Uber, or walk
there, I don’t know how far away you are… and take a warm shower. You can wear my clothes, if
you don’t have any to change into.”
“I’m definitely stealing a hoodie or two. Thank you so much, Kook. Men suck, but you’re an
exception.”
Jungkook rolls his eyes. “Men don’t suck, stop saying that.” he tsks. “Just make yourself
comfortable, and call me if you need to talk.” Taehyung taps his thigh, gesturing towards himself.
“Tae is available too. For free, which is great, because his minutes of undivided attention are
usually very expensive.”
“Shit, we’re already sharing a therapist?” she jokes back, and he feels rather proud of himself for
being able to make her feel better. “Thank you, again. I’m going to hang up to call an Uber, and I’ll
text you once I’m all settled… Thank you, Jungkook. You’re the best.”
“Don’t thank me. Let me know if you get there safely…” they hang up shortly after, Jungkook
letting out a distressed sigh. Taehyung quickly takes his hand between his own, noticing how white
it’s gotten due to the cold. “She came out to her parents and they didn’t accept it… I let her stay at
our place at least until we get back. You don’t mind, do you?”
“Not at all.” Taehyung immediately says. “Gosh, that sounds horrible… I can’t believe that she’s
going through this on Christmas… I hope that she feels a little better after a good night of sleep.”
“I feel bad. I wish that I could be there for her… I hope that she fixes it with her parents soon,
because we don’t really have space for someone else. Well, other than the couch.”
“That’s true…”
“Unless she wants to claim your spot and sleep on the floor.” Taehyung frowns. “I just hope that
she’ll at least want an actual blanket instead of the rug, like you.”
“I thought that you said that you love me. This isn’t love, you’re straight-up mocking me.” he said,
as dramatic as possible, and Jungkook scoffs.
“You’ve been ignoring my hints and moves for months now, I get to tease you as much as I want
since I’ve been hurting .” Jungkook points, watching as Taehyung rolls his eyes. “No, don’t roll
your eyes at me, you know that I’m right about this.”
“Maybe if your hints and moves weren’t so subtle, I would’ve gotten them.”
“I told you that I wanted to kiss you one day. You laughed it off and called me silly. Do you
remember that? In the kitchen?”
Taehyung looks away in thought. “Oh…! Well—”
“No, don’t even try.” Jungkook interrupts. “Just give me the right to tease you.”
“Will you even stop if I don’t give you the right to do it?”
“Fuck no.” he says with the largest grin, and Taehyung presses his lips together in a thin,
disproving line. “I love you, I get a pass.” Jungkook smiles, pecking him. “C’mon, let’s go take a
walk. I’m freezing my fucking balls off here.”
“Why are all of your expressions so horrible…”
“Get used to it, babe.”
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 54 │►
Chapter Notes
Reading your comments really has to be the best part about even writing this )):
Taehyung giggles, quietly, as he hides his face against Jungkook’s strong chest. The elder smiles at
the sound, pulling him in even closer with the arm that he has around Taehyung’s shoulders. They
sit together comfortably cuddled on the couch, a blanket covering their legs and the hands that they
have intertwined in secrecy.
“Give me a kiss.” Jungkook whispers, low enough to stay between them only. Much to his
discontentment, the blonde shakes his head, his leg going over Jungkook’s. “I’ll pout.” he
threatens.
“You can pout as much as you’d like. My parents are here, I’m not kissing you.” Taehyung still
denies his request, gesturing with his head towards the other couch where his parents sit close to
each other, a blanket over their legs as well. The married couple watches the movie attentively,
while both Taehyung and Jungkook can barely recall the title; they haven’t really been looking at
the television.
“They’re not looking… and it’s dark here.” Jungkook says with a pout, their faces so close that he
almost goes cross-eyed to be able to look at Taehyung’s lips. “Just one.”
Taehyung rolls his eyes playfully before leaning closer just a little, given their proximity, touching
Jungkook’s lips with his own in a faint peck. “Happy?” Jungkook shakes his head, most certainly
not satisfied, and leans in once again. Their eyes close as their lips move together slowly and
carefully, unwilling to make any sound that might expose what they have going on.
Taehyung’s free hand goes up to Jungkook’s chest, curling around his shirt in a tight grip to keep
him close, and Jungkook has to battle himself not to let his own fall down to Taehyung’s lap — a
battle that he soon loses as his handle snuggles right between his soft thighs.
They pull away after an accidental smooching sound, and Taehyung quickly looks back at his
parents to make sure that they’re still focused on the movie; luckily, they are. “You’ll get us in
trouble…” he whispers with a faint giggle as he rests their foreheads together.
“I’m enjoying this too much to stop.” Jungkook whispers back, prepping kisses all over his cheek,
temple, jaw. Everywhere that he can reach without moving too much or making Taehyung
uncomfortable.
And Taehyung’s father can hear the kissing sounds that, albeit faint, aren’t low enough to go
unnoticed. He nudges his wife, gesturing with his head towards the other two on the couch.
Jungkook’s arm is still around Taehyung’s shoulders, and the older man makes it his goal to kiss
everywhere on Taehyung’s face, while Taehyung only giggles and leans more into it.
“Hey, Jungkookie.” Taehyung’s father calls, making them pull away just enough. “Are you
enjoying the movie? You mentioned that you had never watched it before.”
Taehyung stares up at Jungkook, worried eyes. They haven’t been watching the movie, Jungkook
has never seen it in his life, and they’re most certainly going to have to admit that.
“I am enjoying it quite a lot.” Jungkook says. “I’m usually not a fan of comedy movies, but this is
acceptable… Even though this is a rather old movie, some of the jokes are still funny. When he fell
on those small marbles, for example, I couldn’t help but to laugh.” he comments, his hand still
caressing Taehyung’s arm. “Home alone is turning out to be not so bad. I’m enjoying it, good
pick.”
“Oh.” the older man nods. “I’m glad to hear that you’re enjoying it.” Jungkook smiles at the man
that only gives him a little smile in return, facing the television once again.
“You’re very good at lying.” Taehyung whispers against his ear, giggling softly. Jungkook
squeezes him closer, feeling goosebumps spreading through his body. “How did you even know
about the fall?”
“A shot of luck. I looked at the television for like a second when that was happening, and I
happened to have noticed what had made him fall.” Jungkook explains with a little shrug. “Bold of
you all to think that I could possibly watch a movie when your lips exist.”
Taehyung rolls his eyes playfully, before leaning closer to capture Jungkook’s lips in his. It’s just a
small peck, but it still makes their hearts positively speed up in interest. “You’re lucky that I feel
the same way about yours.” he whispers. “Though I feel like we’ve been busted, I’m almost sure
that they’ve noticed what was going on…” he closes his eyes when another little kiss is pressed
onto his jaw, then one to his neck. And another one, so he tilts his head to grant Jungkook access to
kiss as many times as he’d like to — that seems to be exactly five times, five little kisses.
“Hm…” Jungkook noses at his cheek. “I think that he believed that I’m watching the movie.” he
whispers. Taehyung slowly opens his eyes, looking at him with a relaxed, lazy expression. “You’re
so…”
“I’m so…?” Taehyung encourages.
“Beautiful. You’re so beautiful.” the blonde blushes at the compliment, looking away. “No, look at
me, I want you to hear me well.” Jungkook instructs, a gentle hand turning Taehyung’s head back
to meet his eyes. “You’re beautiful.”
“I’m not beautiful, hyung.” Taehyung whispers back with a little shake of the head. “You could get
so much better. You’re amazing and you’re genuinely so— gorgeous yourself. You could get
better than me.” he sighs. That’s all that he’s ever heard from his ex-fiancé, one too many times;
times enough to make him believe it, too.
“Thank you for thinking that I’m gorgeous, but you’re crazy if you think that I could get better
than you.” Jungkook immediately disagrees. “I can’t get started on your inside, otherwise I’ll never
shut up, but just looking at you like this… Your eyes have the most amazing shape, your nose is so
perfectly crafted, and don’t even let me start ranting about your lips… You’re just— fuck.”
“I’m just fuck?” Taehyung parrots, trying to fight his uncontrollable blush.
“Yeah.” Jungkook nods, combing Taehyung’s bangs away from his eyes. “I’ve always told you
how beautiful you are, though, so why are you surprised? I’ll say it even more now that we’re…
trying this.” he presses a little kiss to his jaw.
“I kind of thought that you just complimented me to make me feel better about myself…”
Taehyung admits, a pout involuntarily pinching his lips together.
Jungkook frowns. “I was always honest, baby.” he cups Taehyung’s jaw, thumbing at the
underside. “You’re breathtakingly beautiful, and I’ve always thought that of you, even when we
were just friends. That was kind of the first thing that I thought of when I saw you, without even
knowing that you were you.” he shares, leaning in for another little peck. “I’m simply allowed to
say it more often now… I can say exactly what I’m thinking, and what I’m thinking is that you’re
just… fuck.” he smiles.
Taehyung giggles. “Shut up.”
“I don’t want to.” Jungkook grins.
“You’re annoying.”
“Annoyingly charming, I might be.” Taehyung rolls his eyes with a little smile. “I just can’t let you
think that you’re not fucking perfect, Taehyung. I mean it. I don’t care about what that asshole
made you believe, but I’m a very honest man. I will remind you every day of how much—” he’s
positively interrupted by Taehyung’s lips on his, moving slowly but pressing hard; speaking the
words that he can’t get out.
Trying to prevent any more sounds, they have to end up pulling away before the kiss can get any
deeper. Their foreheads rest against each other’s, and Jungkook just wants to lay Taehyung down
and kiss him breathless; but he can’t, so he has to fight those thoughts.
“What did I do to deserve you, hm?” Taehyung whispers.
“That’s not even a question, Tae.” Jungkook whispers back. “I’m the one asking that.”
“Silly, y—”
“You two are certainly loving the movie.” they pull back when they hear Taehyung’s mother, and
Jungkook only gives her a guilty look that she understands immediately, given their conversation in
the kitchen. “Would you like more popcorn?”
At that, Taehyung’s eyes sparkle. “Oh, please, yes.”
Jungkook smiles, endeared. He’s starting to feel happier.
│►
It’s only well after lunch that they stand in front of the house, their suitcases and gift bags all
tucked nicely into their car’s trunk. Taehyung hugs his parents in a tight bear-hug, kissing both of
them on their cheek. They’ve been saying goodbye for at least fifteen minutes now; goodbyes are
always the hardest part. Jungkook just watches them with a smile. Taehyung’s relationship with his
parents is beautiful, and something that, deep down, he’s a little jealous of, but couldn’t be happier
for.
“I’ll just get in the car already, otherwise we won’t be leaving today.” Taehyung informs as he
dries off his tears, waving a last goodbye before rushing to the parked vehicle. Jungkook takes the
opportunity to step closer with his arms opening invitingly. Taehyung’s mother is quick to walk
into his embrace, her head resting on his chest due to their height difference. Her perfume is sweet,
and it makes him feel comfortable; she’s become a comforting person by now.
“It was lovely having you over, Jungkookie. You’re forever welcome in our home, and you can
come here whenever you need us.” she says as they pull away. Jungkook bows a perfect ninety-
degree angle, unable to form words to answer such an offer, but they can tell just how much that
means to him.
He tries offering Taehyung’s father a simple handshake, but the elder pulls him for a hug as well.
“Would you like to tell us what happened with you two overnight?” he asks as they part. “You and
my son definitely have something going on, and we want to know about it.” Jungkook hums,
scratching the back of his neck. “Well?”
“To be honest, it’s nothing official… Don’t tell him that I’m telling you or he’ll be mad at me.”
Jungkook requests first and foremost, rubbing his palms together. “I confessed to him on Christmas
Eve, that’s why I wanted him to open his gift alone with me, and we’re now just… seeing where
this takes us. We’re taking our time to explore our feelings for each other. I hope— I hope to have
your blessing.”
“You have our entire blessing, son.” Jungkook tunes out at the last word, staring at the older man
almost blankly. If they say anything or hug him again, his brain doesn’t really process it, unable to
catch up.
He’s unsure of when he even got in the driver’s seat with Taehyung’s lips lingering on his cheek,
and Taehyung doesn’t fail to notice his unfocused eyes staring at the steering wheel. “What
happened? Did they say anything bad or weird to you? You’re quiet…” he asks, and Jungkook only
pouts, reaching for the keys to start the car, but the younger man stops him. “What’s wrong? Are
you upset?”
“I’m not upset, I’m just… out of words.” Jungkook rubs his eyes, gulps. “Your dad called me
‘son’, and it hit me a little harder than it probably should. It’s been way over a decade since I last
heard that word being directed to me, and it uhm, I don’t know. It hit me.” Taehyung furrows his
eyebrows, understanding and sympathetic. “They make me feel so fucking included and…
accepted, I guess.”
“They do love you, hyung. It makes me really happy knowing that you already have a good
relationship with my parents, that’s— I love it, and I thank you for being so kind to them, too.”
Taehyung smiles, placing a reassuring hand on Jungkook’s thigh and giving it a little squeeze.
Hyungsik wasn’t liked by anyone in his family, and he didn’t try to get along with anyone, either,
so it’s a relief to see otherwise with Jungkook. “You can’t imagine how glad I was when you said
that you enjoyed these days off with us even though you hate Christmas.”
“I don’t really hate Christmas after this year’s experience…” Jungkook admits, starting the car at
last. One of his hands finds its place on Taehyung’s thigh, and he doesn’t plan on moving it any
time soon. “I don’t want to talk about sad things, I was about to get in my head just from that one
word alone, and I don’t want that to happen. Shall I just tell you about the way that Sarang totally
tricked Hoojin and I?”
“Tricked? How so?” Taehyung asks with a giggle.
“So, she was basically asking me if you and I were like your aunt, the one married to that rich dude
that is kind of annoying, and I said no, because you’re not my sugar daddy—”
“Jungkook! She’s five!”
“I know! It just— It slipped, alright?” Jungkook quickly defends himself. “Then she just started
saying that she wanted a sugar daddy, and I ended up cursing, and she kept repeating it over and
over and— chaos, really. Hoojin said ‘shit’ and she made it her mission to start repeating that one
word, and I was this close to panicking and never talking to a child in my life. Turns out, she just
enjoys seeing adults worried that she’ll tell her mom about the curse words that they say in front of
her.”
“Are you serious?” Jungkook hums, and Taehyung laughs. “She’s such a piece, I’m telling you,
she’s always been a troublemaker.” he comments as his hand snakes under Jungkook’s on his thigh
to intertwine their fingers. “You better be wearing her ring whenever you see her again.”
“I put it in my suitcase. She’d decapitate me if she saw me without it.”
Taehyung laughs again. “She would.”
│►
Taehyung giggles as they struggle to walk with the suitcases and all of the extra bags of gifts,
barely even managing to get the door open. Still, it’s better than to go back downstairs and have to
make that trip two or three times.
His smile drops as soon as he looks up, only to find Eunjae sitting on the floor in front of the
couch, multiple bottles of alcohol around her. “Oh, God.” Taehyung lets out, putting everything
down to rush to the young girl. “C’mon, let’s get you seated.” Taehyung instructs, throwing her
arm over his own shoulders for support.
“What are y— Oh.” Jungkook’s eyes widen once he’s finally able to see what’s happening, and
he’s fast to drop his own bags and suitcase, lightly kicking the door to close it.
Eunjae giggles. “Hi, Taehyung…!” she drags. “Do you think that Jungkookie will be mad at me?”
Taehyung gives her a clueless look as he helps her sit on the couch, and she gestures to the bottles.
“I drank all of his hidden bottles, he might get angry…”
Taehyung turns around, his eyes finding Jungkook’s wide ones already looking at him. “What is
she talking about?” he asks, watching as Jungkook takes a defensive step back.
“Tae…” Jungkook’s voice breaks.
The young girl sits up, realizing her mistake. “Oh, no, shit, I mean—”
“Tae, please.” Jungkook whispers, a little desperate and visibly scared. Taehyung walks over to
him, frowning at the panic that he can so clearly see in Jungkook’s eyes.
“I’m not going to be angry if you’re still struggling, Koo. All I want is to understand why you
didn’t tell me and thought that it’d be a better idea to just hide it all from me.” Jungkook gulps, his
eyes filling up with tears; his hands are already shaking, and his heart hammering against his chest.
“Hyung?”
“Can we please speak privately…?” Jungkook whispers. He can’t possibly have such a serious
conversation in front of the drunk girl. He doesn’t want to show his weaknesses to anyone, other
than Taehyung. He doesn’t trust anyone to see that side of him.
“Please, don’t fight. I’m just drunk, I wasn’t thinking— I’m so sorry, please, don’t fight. I can’t
take this, please… don’t fight, don’t get upset at each other…” Eunjae almost begs, eyes red both
from the alcohol and the tears.
“Put those bottles down, we’ll be right back.” Taehyung instructs, reaching for Jungkook’s hand to
hold onto. “C’mon, let’s speak in the bedroom.” he cocks his head to the hallway as he starts
leading him, and Jungkook can’t do anything other than follow him.
His chest feels even tighter now; Taehyung didn’t deny the possibility of a fight, didn’t say that
they wouldn’t get upset with each other, and it makes him panic even more. He’s already crying,
admittedly so, and he hates it. He hates how much of a crybaby he’s become ever since he started
being more open about his emotions.
He had no idea that being more emotional would make him turn into a mess.
Taehyung’s walking ahead of him, so Jungkook can’t see his face and, therefore, he has no way of
knowing whether Taehyung’s angry or not. He sniffs, trying not to break down already. He’s been
terrified of Taehyung finding out about his drinking, and it’s finally happened. There’s no way that
Taehyung isn’t angry at him.
And Jungkook understands, he has to understand. He lied, he kept it from him and even hid the
bottles under their very own shared roof. He’s a terrible person, he knows that much, he just hopes
that Taehyung won’t want to stop trying their relationship out.
Taehyung lets go of his hand, gestures to the bed and Jungkook nods, sitting down with a closed
off expression as Taehyung closes the door. He can see a tear rolling down Jungkook’s cheek, and
he hates himself for it; he hates seeing Jungkook cry, and that one tear might just be his entire fault.
“Have you been drinking behind my back?” he asks, his voice soft, as he sits down next to
Jungkook. The aforementioned just sniffs instead of giving him an answer, and Taehyung lifts his
chin up to make their eyes meet. “I won’t be mad, and you don’t need to cry… just tell me the
truth. I’m seriously not mad or anything. I hate seeing you cry, I don’t want you to cry or be scared
to tell me something. I’m here to help you, support you, not to be angry.”
“But you’ll hate me and then— then you won’t want to continue trying this out…”
Taehyung smiles a little. “That already tells me that this is a yes. You’ve been drinking.” Jungkook
pauses, processing his own words before he just about wails, covering his face with his hands so
that he doesn’t have to see Taehyung walking away. “Hyung, I found it so weird that you were able
to stop drinking, drop an addiction that you’ve had for years without having withdrawals. It’s
understandable that you couldn’t just stop. I’m not mad, I promise you, I’m really not mad in any
way.”
The blonde reaches up for his hands, slowly removing them to be able to see his face, but
Jungkook makes sure to avoid eye contact at all costs.
“I’m sorry that you felt as though you had to hide it. I’m sorry that you thought that I’d judge you
for it or be angry at you… I only want the best for you, I don’t want you to think that— I don’t
want you to second guess whether you can tell me something or not. You can tell me anything…”
Taehyung’s eyebrows furrow in a concerned look, his hand falling to Jungkook’s thigh to give it a
little squeeze. “Do you not trust me…?”
“I do. Of course I do, Tae, I just didn’t want to disappoint you. I didn’t want to prove to you how
I’m so weak, how I can’t even just not fucking drink.” Jungkook looks up, exasperated. “You were
so proud of me, that I had stopped drinking, so I couldn’t bear— I couldn’t tell you that I never did,
I knew that you’d be upset, and I didn’t want to fail you yet again. I couldn’t.”
“I hate that you can even think that I’d love you any less for being human, Jungkook.” Taehyung
sighs. “You were just being a normal human. Humans can’t drop addictions just like that, and you
couldn’t. It’s normal. You were being a normal person. You weren’t being weak, nor a
disappointment.”
“But—” Jungkook worries at his bottom lip. “I hate disappointing you…”
“Koo, you’re my best friend and—” he stops when Jungkook sobs, covering his eyes. “Oh, no, I
didn’t mean it like that!” Taehyung laughs, weak but bubbly. “Hey, look at me, please. I wasn’t
done talking, I didn’t mean it like that.”
“No.” Jungkook says, muffled by his hands.
“Alright, I’ll just speak to your hands, then.” Taehyung scoots closer. “You’re my best friend above
anything else. We could be married with ten more dogs, and you’d still be my best friend, and you
probably — hopefully — will never not be. You won’t disappoint me, and you could never
disappoint me. I don’t want you to think that you can’t tell me things.”
“But…” Jungkook lets his hands fall to his lap. “I’m weak… and I’m a crybaby. I’m just so
fucking unstable at this point, and I don’t want you to know that, I don’t want you to see how
much. A boyfriend is someone who you should be able to rely on, not a mess like me that, on top
of it all, is also a fucking alcoholic.”
“Babe, look at me. We can get you help.”
“No, I don’t want help.” Jungkook is quick to deny it. “I don’t want fucking help, and I don’t want
to cry, I don’t know why I cry so fucking much lately. I’m such a mess, I hate it, fuck, I just want
to prove to you that we can work out, but this is what I show you instead, and I fucking hate it. I’m
tired.” he inhales sharply, as if the next words already hurt. “I shouldn’t have confessed. That was
selfish of me, you don’t deserve having to deal with this mess.”
“You’re not a mess, you’re my hyungie.” Taehyung frowns, leaning closer.
Jungkook leans away. “You should leave, it’s for the best.”
“W-What?“
“I said leave.” Jungkook whispers. “Leave me to live alone again, go back to your stable life, b-but
without Hyungsik. I’ll be fine, I’ll just get over you and I’ll—” Taehyung cuts him off with a hug,
one hand resting on the back of Jungkook’s head; the latter sobs, his body shaking in Taehyung’s
embrace. “I’m sorry.” he whispers, hugging Taehyung’s middle. “Please, don’t leave me alone.”
Taehyung closes his eyes. “I’d never leave you, hyung.” he just slowly rocks him from side to side,
threading his fingers through his black hair. “Don’t apologize.”
They turn to the door when it opens, and Eunjae freezes. They’re not fighting, that’s a relief, but
she can see a sliver of Jungkook’s face, and he’s crying because of her. “Should I leave? I can stay
at the coffee shop for a while… The break room has a mattress, and I have a key. I uhm, Seojoon
wouldn’t mind…”
Taehyung doesn’t have the time to properly think it through, his heart hurting in his chest from
holding Jungkook in such a fragile state. “Just for the night, yeah, if you don’t mind.” he ends up
saying, giving her an apologetic smile. “It’s not— It’s the best thing to do.”
Eunjae nods, eyes swiftly moving to Jungkook. “I’m so sorry, Jungkook. I’m such a terrible person,
and I don’t think before speaking and— and I’m so incredibly sorry.” she says, but instead of an
answer, Jungkook hides more into the crook of Taehyung’s neck, unwilling to have such a
conversation.
Taehyung gets it; he always does. “We can talk about this some other time.” is what he tells her.
“I’ll drive you to the café, you’re not going by yourself. Just give us a minute…” Eunjae nods,
leaving the bedroom with a frown. “Now, you…” Taehyung kisses the top of Jungkook’s head to
get his attention. “We can find you a good rehabilitation center, and it will be good for you. I can
visit you weekly, and—”
“No. Tae, please, no. I don’t want it. I don’t want to go. I promise that I’ll stop drinking, but don’t
send me away.” Jungkook begs as he pulls back, and Taehyung can see the older man start to put
up his defensive walls once again, so he pulls him right back to his chest. There’s no point in
fighting, there’s no point in getting defensive, and he won’t let it happen.
“We can try it at home, then.” Taehyung assures. “Look at me.” and Jungkook does, closing his
eyes when he feels a little reassuring kiss being pressed to his lips. Then, another peck.
“I’m so pathetic.” Jungkook whispers.
“You’re not. You’ve been through so much, hyung… The fact that you’re even able to open up
about your emotions after everything, at least with me, is admirable. As upsetting as it is to see you
crying, it’s also a relief to me when you do. You took ages to give me the slightest bit of emotion,
and I’m so proud of you for owning up to your feelings now.”
Jungkook sniffs. “You’re just saying that.”
“No, I mean every word.” Taehyung reassures, rubbing circles on his back. “I should drive her to
the coffee shop, you’re not in the right place to have someone over… I’ll make sure that she’s safe
and settled there, but— I think that it’s the best for both of you.”
“Promise me that you’ll come back…” he whispers, hand holding onto Taehyung’s shirt.
“I will. I’ll always come back.” Taehyung smiles before kissing him again. “I’ll make you some
tea before I go, alright? Drink it, and lay here for a bit… I’ll be back before you know it.”
Jungkook nods. “Okay…”
│►
Taehyung wakes up many hours later, his hand searching for the warm body that he fell asleep
cuddled into, only to realize that he’s all alone. Sleepy, he searches for his phone to check the time.
It’s three in the morning, and he’s even more confused; where’s Jungkook?
He gets up, tripping over his own feet a good handful of times as he makes his way to the living
room with only one eye open halfway. He finds Jungkook there, sitting on the couch with only one
small lamp on and a few bottles around him.
Taehyung furrows his eyebrows, confused, but he doesn’t want to make assumptions, so he just
walks closer to the couch, sitting down as well. Jungkook doesn’t look at him, doesn’t say anything
to him, only faces ahead.
“Did you drink?” Taehyung whispers, watching as Jungkook shakes his head from side to side as a
clear ‘no’, and that’s enough for him. He trusts Jungkook. “Okay.” the blonde lays his head on his
shoulder, closing his eyes as he goes over what he wants to say, thinking it through properly,
unwilling to mess it up just from being sleepy.
Jungkook sniffs; Taehyung sighs.

“It’s ok to need help. You came to me months ago because you finally had accepted that you
needed help with your mental health, and that’s ok, that was brave of you. Now, we can get you
specialized help, we can get you exactly what you need.” Taehyung suggests, placing his hand on
Jungkook’s thigh. “I’m so proud of you for being honest with me, too. You didn’t tell me
willingly, but you didn’t even try to deny it. The next step is to find a solution, we c—”
“No.” Jungkook interrupts. “I wouldn’t survive rehab. Being away from you and everyone, and
Moon… If I’m away from you, for one, the nightmares come back. I can’t do it. You better than
anyone knows just how badly those dreams fuck me up. I can’t do it, Tae. Please, don’t make me
do it.” he sounds so choked up that it takes away Taehyung’s power to insist.
“It’s ultimately your decision, and I’ll respect your wishes.” Taehyung assures. “Whatever it is that
you want to do, I’ll support it, and I’ll be there for you every step of the way.”
“I promise that I’ll stop drinking.” he whispers. “I promise, I really do. Please believe me.”
“I do.” Taehyung pulls away to face him. “I believe you, and I trust you, but do you trust yourself
to keep the promise? Do you believe in that yourself?”
“I don’t trust myself, but I trust my love for you, and I know that for you… I’ll do it. I’ll try my
best for you. I don’t want to be a burden, and I don’t want to disappoint you.” Jungkook looks
down. “I don’t— I don’t want you to think of me as a burden, I want you to think of me as
someone who you’re proud of… and I hate that I can’t be that. I hate this.”
“I am proud of you, Jungkook, and you’re not a burden.” Taehyung shakes his head. “Come here,
baby, it’s okay.” Jungkook can feel his heart skipping a beat at the pet name, and his body feels
like jelly when Taehyung pulls him in for a hug.
Taehyung kisses his cheek, his temple, the bridge of his nose and, lastly, his lips, before resting
their heads together. Jungkook just closes his eyes, basking in Taehyung’s warmth. He’s so tired,
he’s so sleepy, and his mind is exhausted.
“Can we head to bed now?” Taehyung asks, but Jungkook shakes his head, cuddling into him even
more. The blonde nods, laying back down with the elder on top of him. Jungkook looks
comfortable, so he tries to ignore how hard it is to breathe, and how uncomfortable their position
is; Jungkook had a tough day, so he’s the priority.
“I love you.” Jungkook whispers. “So much.”
“Sleep well, hyungie…” Taehyung threads his fingers through his long hair, trying to ease him into
sleep. “I’m here, always, you can rest.” he assures, and it doesn’t take long before he hears little
snores right by his ear.
He can’t breathe that well, his back is in an uncomfortable position, but the way that Jungkook
holds him is warm enough for him to ignore all of that. He can deal with back pain for a day or
two, if it means that Jungkook feels better in the morning.
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 55 │►
Chapter Notes
Jungkook’s eyes slowly begin fluttering open, and he blinks a couple of times to get used to the
light. He feels really, really warm and comfortable, but quickly realizes that his bed feels different;
the shape isn’t the same as what he’s used to, and he’s beyond confused. That, until he fully opens
his eyes, only to see that he’s completely lying on top of Taehyung, head resting on the latter’s
chest.
Taehyung looks uncomfortable, there’s a crease between his eyebrows, and he looks like he’s been
barely able to sleep, if the bags under his eyes are anything to go by. His position is odd, and
Jungkook is sure that he didn’t sleep well. Or at all.
“Baby?” Jungkook calls, and Taehyung’s eyes open right away, no need for a second call or to
nudge him. “Hey.” he whispers with a little smile.
“Thank God that you’re awake, can we go to bed now, please?” Taehyung asks right away, placing
one hand on the side of Jungkook’s torso that he uses to gently push him away, but the elder
doesn’t budge.
“Are you mad at me?” Jungkook whispers, trying to look for any signs of it in Taehyung’s eyes,
but the younger man is too sleepy to have anything at all behind those orbs.
He takes a hand to Jungkook’s fluffy bed hair, running his fingers through it. “Mad? No. But tired
and achy? Yes. Do I have a dislocated vertebra? Very much probably. Have I been enduring
suffocation for the past few hours? Plausible.” Taehyung says, his words lazy and slow as he
continues playing with his hair. “But I’m not mad.”
“I’m sorry… You know how weird I get when I cry, I got all into my head last night. I’m sorry
about that.” he frowns.
Taehyung smiles up at him. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for. I’m not angry, I really just
need you to get up. You’re heavy, and I can’t feel my… everything.” he requests.
“Oh, I’m so sorry.” Jungkook quickly gets up from the couch, only to slide his arms under
Taehyung’s body. He picks him up easily, throwing him over his shoulder as though he weighs
nothing. “Let’s go to bed.”
“What the— Put me down.” Taehyung yelps, tapping his back.
“No, I must fix my mistakes from last night.” Jungkook states as a matter-of-factly, seeing no
reason to put Taehyung down when he can just carry him. “I’m taking you to bed, and we’re going
to cuddle to sleep, alright?” his voice is playful, and Taehyung’s relieved to hear that he’s already
feeling better than he was just some hours prior.
“Cuddling you to sleep sounds superb, but I can walk to the bed.” Taehyung still says, poking
Jungkook’s lower back.
“But did I ask?” the elder grins when Taehyung goes limp on his shoulder, positively giving up, so
he just walks away to the hallway, headed for the bedroom. He raises an eyebrow when he feels a
little tap on his butt. “Hey.” he chuckles, stopping for a split second.
“I’m sorry, it’s just right there.” Taehyung giggles, doing it again.
“Stop—” but, before he can even finish his words, Taehyung taps his butt again; only to yelp when
he’s thrown onto the mattress, albeit still rather carefully. “Do you want to take the bed by
yourself? I know that you barely slept because of me…”
“No.” Taehyung pouts. “I want to cuddle you.” he makes grabby hands, and that’s enough for
Jungkook to join him in bed, their limbs tangling up right away. “You’re really heavy, though, I
don’t know where you keep all the weight, but I almost died with you sleeping on me.”
Jungkook frowns. “Muscles are heavy…” he caresses Taehyung’s cheek. “You could’ve woken me
up, angel, I would’ve come to bed.”
“I did ask you to come to bed, and you said no. I thought that you just wanted to stay there for a bit,
but you just fell asleep on top of me. I don’t really mind, because you weren’t feeling well last
night, so I’m glad that you did get a nice sleep…” Taehyung assures. “I still have to complain
about your snores, though.”
“My snores?”
“Yes. You were in a bad position, and so you snored the whole night right in my ear.”
“I don’t snore.” Jungkook defends. “I sleep like a prince.”
“You’re crazy.” Taehyung blinks. “You always snore, but they’re usually not that loud, I don’t
even hear them anymore, I’m used to it. Last night, however, you sounded like a pig.” he teases,
showing him his tongue.
“But— Gosh, you’re mean. No one has ever told me that I snore, I feel wronged.” he dramatizes,
using his fingers to carefully close Taehyung’s eyelids. “Sleep now, my baby. I’m sorry for
keeping you up, but thank you for always looking after me. Rest now.”
“Don’t thank me, hyung.” Taehyung whispers, eyes opening once again when he feels a pair of lips
on the bridge of his nose. “Lower, please.” he requests.
Jungkook has to shake his head. “If I start kissing you, I won’t stop in the next hour or so. If you
want to sleep, I’d advise you not to ask for my kisses.” Taehyung pouts, clearly unimpressed, but
lets himself be neatly tucked in when the elder starts making sure that he’s as comfortable as
possible. It makes him feel loved.
Jungkook does give him a little kiss on the forehead, still, but is strong-minded enough not to
spread a thousand more all over Taehyung’s face and lips.
And Taehyung falls asleep in a matter of seconds. His chest rises and falls at a consistent, slow
pace, and Jungkook takes a careful hand to his cheek to caress his smooth, golden skin. His heart
swells in his chest; Taehyung is the most beautiful human being that he’s ever laid his eyes on.
He’s not nearly strong enough to hold himself back from leaning in to press a sweet and lingering
kiss to the younger’s lips.
“I love you.” Jungkook whispers, resting their heads together, his own eyes closing, as well. He’s
still tired, despite having slept the whole night, and taking a nap in Taehyung’s warm and relaxing
arms sounds beyond amazing.
│►
Taehyung blindly feels around his nightstand to look for his phone when it wakes him from his
precious sleep, and he can barely see to slide his finger across the screen to accept the call.
“Hello?” he greets without even checking the caller.
“Were you sleeping? I’m so sorry, Taehyungie.” he recognizes his best friend’s voice right away.
“I just wanted to let you know that the schedules will be available from tomorrow on, so you and
Jungkook hyung can come pick up his… And he can also look around the campus and the
buildings, this place is huge, he’ll probably get lost on his first day if he doesn’t come to check the
premises.”
“But school won’t start for like, two more weeks…” he mumbles.
“True, but this is usually when the schedules get released.” Hoseok explains, and Taehyung gives
him a little hum. “I’m really sorry for waking you up, I can just call him and tell him.”
“No, no, it’s okay, I’ll go tell him.” Taehyung sits up, rubbing his eyes. “Thank you so much for
calling, this is really exciting…” his lips stretch into a little smile, and he can barely register it
when they bid their goodbyes, too focused on daydreaming about the opportunity that he’s able to
give Jungkook. He’s never felt this useful, this helpful.
He’s doing something amazing.
By the time the call ends, he’s already reaching the kitchen, smile widening when he finds
Jungkook there, busy cooking their breakfast. “Good morning.” he greets.
Jungkook jumps in place, startled by the sudden voice; he barely manages to catch the pancake that
flies right off the pan with the way that his hand jerks. “You scared the living shit out of me.” he
places a hand on his chest. “I could’ve had a stroke.”
Taehyung laughs. “I’m sorry, I thought that you’d hear me approach.” he excuses himself, walking
up to the older man to plant a kiss on his cheek. “I’d rather kiss you, but brushing teeth first is a
must.” he jokes.
“I’m glad to know that we’re on the same page on that.” Jungkook smiles, leaving a long kiss on
Taehyung’s forehead instead. “How did you sleep?” he asks.
“I slept well, your cuddles are like no other.” Taehyung grins. “You?”
“Hm… I slept really well, though I was sweating from every fucking place possible. You get so
warm during the night sometimes, and it makes me feel like I’m inside of an oven… but you’re too
cuddly to get away from it.” Jungkook shares with a little chuckle, and Taehyung can’t stop his
brain from making a fast comparison between Jungkook and Hyungsik; one of the reasons why his
ex-fiancé hated his cuddles so much, is exactly because he gets very warm during the night. “I
don’t mind sweating a bit, it helps me lose weight.”
“I’m glad to know that my night temperature serves for something.” Taehyung giggles. “But, hey,
listen, I have something to tell you.” Jungkook gives him a curious look. “Hoseok called, and he
said that we can go to your college tomorrow to pick up your schedule… and to look around for a
bit, so that you don’t get lost on your first day.”
“Oh. Holy fuck.” Jungkook puts everything down, faces him. “I’m so fucking excited for that, I
miss studying so much, I miss the classes and— and the assignments. I can’t wait for my classes to
start.” Taehyung looks down, and Jungkook’s smile slowly but surely starts slipping away. “You
look… not excited at all. What’s wrong?”
“You were very honest with me yesterday about your drinking situation, so I have to be just as
honest with you. I’ve been… keeping something from you, too, and I want to tell you before you
find out by yourself.” Taehyung starts, and Jungkook’s eyebrows furrow both in confusion and
worry. He turns around to turn off the stove before he faces him again.
“Is everything ok?” he asks, his mind already going into overdrive, fast to start coming up with
theories and overthinking. “You can tell me anything, you know that, baby.”
“I do, I just…” Taehyung sighs, deciding that he must just go for it. “I wasn’t going to tell you, but
I don’t want to have secrets from you. I’m going to be paying for half of your tuition. We did try to
get full coverage, but this was the best deal that Hoseok managed to get. I didn’t want to tell you
simply because I don’t want you to give up on this, not because I don’t trust you or anything. I just
know you too well, and— and I know that you don’t like it when people pay after you…” he
admits, looking up when he’s met with silence. “Are you mad?”
“I wasn’t expecting this… at all.” Jungkook chuckles, humorless and broken. “Tell Hoseok to
forget about it, it’s not happening. I don’t want this under these conditions. You shouldn’t have to
pay for anything, you shouldn’t have to pay for me to have this opportunity.”
“Hyung, no, please. You can’t give up on your dream.”
“Tae, I’d have to pay you back, and honestly, I don’t have a way to do so right now, and who
knows if I’ll ever have a way in the future. Me studying doesn’t guarantee me an actual job in the
field, and if I remain with the life that I have, I’ll never be able to pay you back. I’d never be able
to live with myself knowing that you’re spending your money on this, and not getting it back. I
can’t, just— no. Don’t fucking lie to me again, Tae, I was so excited… Why would you hide this
from me?” Jungkook looks and sounds dejected, and Taehyung hates it.
“This is exactly why I didn’t want you to know. I don’t want you to think that you have to pay me
back. Also, I didn’t lie to you, I just didn’t tell you the whole truth…” he sighs. “I ask you, please,
don’t be mad at me…”
“I’m not mad, I’m just sad.” Jungkook points. “I can’t pay you back, Taehyung, and so I can’t
accept this. I can’t.” he shakes his head. “I can’t pay you back, Tae, I have no form of payment… I
can’t accept this, I can’t.”
“You can. You can, hyung, and you will.” Taehyung steps closer, gently holding Jungkook’s
cheeks between his palms. “Seeing you pass your course, have good grades, will be more than
enough. Jungkook, watching you graduate will be way above and beyond all the money this world
could give me.”
“Tae…” he drags, hesitant.
“Please, hyung. This is your dream, and I’m just helping you, just giving you a little push so that
you can achieve it.” Jungkook looks away, and Taehyung can almost physically hear him thinking.
“Look at me, please.” and he does, Taehyung’s hand dropping to his firm chest instead. “We’ll go
there tomorrow. We’ll pick up your schedule, and we’re exploring it.”
“Baby, I don’t know.” Jungkook frowns. “I’m going to cry—”
“I’ll cry with you.” Taehyung smiles. “Say yes, please.” he pokes Jungkook’s ribs. “Your
happiness means more than any money ever could. Please, say yes.”
“What if I fail the course? Tae, what if I fail all of my classes and make all of this money be wasted
for nothing? What if that happens?” he worries. “I don’t want to fail you like that.”
“Uhm… You were the top student in high school, despite all of the crap that you were going
through at home. If you managed that back then, if you managed to get amazing grades even then,
then I know that you’ll do amazing in college. I know that you’ll be an amazing student now, too.
Maybe even better.”
Jungkook pouts. “I promise to study really, really hard.” Taehyung’s lips stretch in a smile so big
that it hurts his cheeks. “But you have to promise to never lie to me again.”
Taehyung lifts one hand up, his fist closed with only his pinky sticking out; Jungkook rolls his eyes
before linking it with his own, and they both lean in to kiss their hands. “I thought that you’d be so
mad at me when you found out… That’s also why I decided to be the one telling you before you
could find out, somehow.”
“That was a good decision. I’d probably be angry if I, I don’t know, had found a letter or overheard
anything. You know that I don’t like it when people keep stuff from me, and I also hate when
people pay for my stuff, it makes me feel like a loser.”
“You’re not a loser, and you’re going to be an amazing student.” Taehyung cups his cheek once
again. “I’ll be very proud of you, as I always am.” he whispers.
“That’s all that I ever want… for you to be proud of me.” Jungkook whispers back, his eyes closing
as he places a hand over Taehyung’s on his cheek. His heart feels tight, and he can’t even process it
properly. It’s too much, sometimes. What he feels for the younger man is too strong for him to
process, to understand it fully.
“I always am, hyung.” Taehyung kisses the bridge of his nose. “I always am.”
│►
“You know…” Taehyung turns in Jungkook’s lap, one arm around his shoulders. “You should call
Eunjae and invite her for dinner.”
Jungkook gapes. “Fuck, I completely forgot that she’s sleeping in the coffee shop.” he looks away.
“I’m such a horrible friend, fucking hell, I totally forgot.”
“You’re not a horrible friend.” Taehyung tsks, lifting his chin to meet his eyes. “You just had a lot
going on, so don’t beat yourself up for it. You’re an amazing friend, don’t doubt that.” he leans in
to kiss Jungkook’s forehead twice. “It just slipped your mind.”
“I still shouldn’t have forgotten about this. She’s going through a lot, too.”
“She is…” Taehyung nods, taking a moment. “Are you mad at her?” he softly asks, unwilling to be
too brusque about it as it might just upset Jungkook, his hand slowly threading through the black
hair; he’s cut the ends, but didn’t get rid of the length, which Taehyung loves.
“You were bound to find out about all of this, but I wasn’t expecting it to be like that… I’m not
mad at her, she was drunk and didn’t know what she was saying.” Jungkook admits with a little
sigh. “You didn’t get mad at me for hiding something like this, so I can’t possibly get mad at her
for unconsciously letting that out.”
“While you can be mad at her, I’m glad to hear that you’re not. She needs you right now.” he gives
Jungkook a little smile. “You need to call her.” the blonde encourages as he leans toward the
coffee table, Jungkook holding his hips so that he doesn’t fall. “Here.” he hands him his phone.
“Call her, hyungie. Tell her to come back, or that we’ll pick her up.” Jungkook nods, bottom lip
caught between his teeth as he goes through his contact list.
Eunjae picks up right away. “Hello…” she whispers.
“You sound scared.” Jungkook accuses.
“I am… a little bit.” the young girl admits. “Do you hate me now?” she asks.
“I don’t, and I’m not mad, either, before you ask. Where are you?”
“I’m currently lying on the floor, because I couldn’t get the mattress out.” Jungkook’s expression
turns sour; he’s only mad at himself for how he reacted. “My back hurts a bit.”
“Come over for dinner. You can stay for the night, too. You can stay until you either make up with
your parents, or find a place.” he looks up at Taehyung for confirmation, and the blonde gives him
an immediate nod, as he expected. “Tae doesn’t mind it, either. You can stay until you fix your
situation.”
“Are you sure?” Jungkook hums. “Thank you so much, dude. I fucking love you.”
Jungkook smiles. “We’ll be waiting for you.” he says, and she makes a little kissing sound before
ending the call. “She’s on her way, I believe.”
“That’s good.” Taehyung nods. “I feel so bad for her… I can’t even imagine how she’s feeling.” he
almost whispers, busying himself by playing with Jungkook’s hair.
“I can.” the elder sighs. “I know what it feels like.”
“This is why she needs you.” he pokes Jungkook’s cheek. “I’m glad that she has you.”
“I’m glad, too. I’m glad that I’m here for her.” Jungkook looks up, pulling Taehyung even closer.
“Thank you for being so understanding and accepting, by the way. You didn’t even bat an eye
when I offered her to stay.”
“A friend of yours is a friend of mine.” Taehyung smiles. “I’m here for those who you want to
help, and I like her, she’s a good friend for you.” he shrugs. “Let’s cook something warm.”
Jungkook smiles, pearly white teeth on display. “Lead the way.”
│►
Jungkook just about runs to the front door when the sound of the doorbell fills up the apartment,
and Taehyung giggles at how excited he looks while twisting the keys. As soon as the door opens,
Jungkook has his arms full of an exhilarated dog. “I’ve missed you so much, my pretty baby!” he
kneels, embracing her; she’s too excited for the hug to work, though.
“Would you like to stay for dinner?” Taehyung asks, facing Yoongi, who’s still standing by the
door. “I’m just finishing it, I can add another plate to the table.”
“Thank you for the offer, but I can’t tonight.” he has to say. “I need to go back home. I have to
listen to almost eighty songs and grade them… Maybe another day.”
“Oh, yeah, of course.” Jungkook looks up at him. “Thank you so much for looking after my baby, I
was only able to relax because I knew that she was in good hands…”
“You’re welcome, Kooks. I kept randomly mentioning your name to her just to have fun because
she’d go crazy, whining and looking around for you.” Yoongi admits with a laugh, and Taehyung
giggles, though Jungkook only tsks.
“That’s so mean— He’s so mean, isn’t he? Isn’t he?” Jungkook asks, his voice going up a few
octaves as he plays with Moon’s floppy ears. “She says yes, you’re mean.”
“Right, okay, Moon can speak now.” Yoongi nods. “Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that
she missed you a lot, and I have to get going now.” he informs. “I’ll come by for dinner some other
day, I really have to start grading the songs.”
“That’s fine.” Taehyung nods. “Thank you, again, for watching over her… Drive safely back
home, hyung.”
“I will. Have a good night, you two.” Yoongi gives them a wave before leaving, closing the door
on his way out. Moon just then manages to escape from Jungkook’s arms to get a few pets from
Taehyung, too, tail wagging from side to side.
“She missed you, too.” Jungkook comments, fond of the scene.
“And I missed her a l—” the doorbell rings again, and Jungkook gets up from the floor to open the
door, expecting Yoongi, as he might have forgotten something, but finds Eunjae instead, her arms
wrapping around him immediately.
“Okay, we’re hugging, alright.” he chuckles, hugging her back just as tightly. One of his hands
finds its place on the back of her head, fingers threading through her hair.
Taehyung smiles. “I’ll put the food on the table.”
“I’ll help you, hold on.” Jungkook ends the hug with a reassuring kiss on Eunjae’s forehead, and
the young girl just gestures for him to go on with a little shy smile. Jungkook follows Taehyung
into the kitchen, set on helping him somehow, given that Taehyung was the one cooking
everything — Jungkook did give good moral support, though.
“Yeah, it’s ready, right on time.” Taehyung comments.
“It smells amazing, baby.” Jungkook praises, peering over Taehyung’s shoulder as the younger
man turns off the stove. “It shouldn’t be a surprise, your food always smells so good.”
“You’re just hungry talking now.” Taehyung giggles when he feels a kiss on the side of his neck.
“Stop, that tickles.” Jungkook just smiles, kissing him once again before pulling back to help him
place the pots and pans on the table.
Eunjae watches by the door, eyes big and curious. “I’m really hungry.” she says, deciding to swiftly
ignore what she’s just seen for the sake of getting some food in first.
“Did you have lunch?” Jungkook asks, knowingly. She shakes her head as a ‘no’ as they sit down,
and the man frowns. “Why not? You were at the coffee shop, you could’ve cooked something,
even if just a sandwich. Why didn’t you eat anything?”
“I was too sad to cook.” Eunjae pouts.
“I understand that you’re feeling terrible about what happened, but you have to take care of
yourself, nonetheless.” Taehyung is the one speaking, voice soft, as he gets her plate to serve her;
he makes sure to fill it up a little more. “Parents won’t always be supportive of our decisions… and
in this case it’s not a decision, it’s who you are, but some struggle to understand that at first. I’m
sure that they love you, and they will learn to understand it. I’ve seen this happen many times,
many parents bringing their kids to therapy to prove that they’re wrong for their sexualities, and
leave knowing that they themselves are wrong for their beliefs. Think positively, Jae, I’m sure that
they’ll realize that you’re still you.”
“I already knew that they’d have a bad reaction, but I still had some hope…” she sighs, looking
down at her plate. “They didn’t yell that much, it was more the way that they looked at me. That’s
what really bothered me… and hurt me. They were so disappointed.”
“If it makes you feel any better, I got the living shit beat out of me when my time came, and it
didn’t even happen willingly… I didn’t come out, I was caught.” Jungkook shares, trying to help,
and Taehyung feels a sting in his chest; sadness.
“I’m sorry to hear that…” she frowns. “But you’re right, it could’ve been worse.”
“That’s not what I meant—”
“No, seriously, it could’ve been worse. Their reaction wasn’t that bad, it was hurtful, but it
could’ve been so much worse. That means that they might just accept it… eventually.” Eunjae
theorizes, ending it with a little shrug. “Can you two adopt me so that I don’t have to go back
home? Please?” Jungkook chokes. “A therapist dad would, for sure, make life easier.”
“We already have Moon and Simba, so…” Taehyung is the one to answer, given that Jungkook is
too busy trying to cough away the air stuck in his throat. “In all seriousness now, if you don’t plan
on going back home soon, you can stay. We don’t have much space to house someone, but we’ll
make it work. We can buy a mattress, and all.”
“Yeah.” Jungkook nods, voice still a little strained; he coughs again. “You can stay for as long as
you need or want. The floor is all yours.” Eunjae flips him off. “Do that again, see what happens.
I’ll break them.” he threatens, albeit empty.
“Continue threatening me, and I’ll be the one cuddling Taehyung to sleep while you take the couch
or the floor itself.” she warns, a playful smile on her lips. “To answer you, though, I do plan on
going back… eventually. I’m just scared to see them again, so I’m giving it some time. You know,
for the anger to die down…” she explains with a sigh.
“You can stay until then.” Taehyung smiles, reassuring.
“Would it be asking for too much if I asked to sit down with you for, like, five minutes…?” she
requests, a shy blush on her cheeks; she’s far more comfortable requesting things from Jungkook,
given that they’re together every day at work. She doesn’t want to upset Taehyung.
“That’ll be about ten bucks, act—”
“Shush.” Taehyung giggles, swatting Jungkook’s arm before he even gets to finish his joke, which
positively grants him a little pout. “We can sit down and talk after dinner, I’m all ears.”
“Thank you.”
│►
“I’ll be right back.” Taehyung informs, storing his keys and phone in his pockets. Eunjae pretends
not to hear the little kiss that they share, eyes never once leaving the television in front of her.
Jungkook closes the door for the younger man before making his way to the couch to sit right next
to Eunjae.
“He’s just going to get Simba.” he decides to inform.
“Oh, the kitten, yes.” she smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “Now that we’re alone, you need to
start telling me what happened during that Christmas break. How did he react to the mistletoe?
What happened after that? Did you advance to, like, second or third base?”
“I can’t tell you anything, Tae asked me to keep the secret.”
“Hm, so something happened.” Eunjae points an accusing finger. “Just tell me. I helped you pick
the gift so, if anything happened, it’s thanks to me. I deserve to know every detail.” she insists, and
Jungkook puckers his lips, looking away at the television, acting as though she didn’t speak. “Tell
me! I’ll act as if I don’t know anything. C’mon, it’s not like I didn’t see you two kiss in the kitchen,
or heard you kiss him just now before he left. Just spit it out.”
“Fine, Jesus, you’re annoying.” he jokes.
“No, you’re annoying. Speak.”
“Promise to act clueless.” Eunjae links her own pinkies, and he nods. “We’re trying this out, we’re
seeing where it goes, where it leads us. We’re enjoying what we have right now, but no… bases.
We’ve only kissed.” he shares. “We’re not labeling anything, so that’s why he wants to keep it a
secret for a while, no one knows about it. He also hadn’t thought of me that way until I confessed,
so he’s just… trying to figure it all out first.”
“That’s so cute, gosh, I can’t believe that I watched all of this happen.” she covers her mouth,
shrieking against her palm. “I can’t believe that we’re here. It feels like just yesterday you were
fucking stupid and getting a girlfriend instead of realizing just how in love you’ve been.”
“Listen…” Eunjae waits, but nothing comes. “I have nothing to defend myself with, to be honest. I
was really stupid, it was so obvious, I should’ve seen it.”
“Look at it on the bright side, you taking so long to realize it just allowed your friendship to
solidify enough for him to be comfortable trying this out even if he’s a bit unsure. I can see the
love in his eyes when he looks at you, so don’t worry about that.” she sighs, dreamy. “You two are
really adorable. Don’t forget me when you get married, I want a front row seat.”
“I’d let you take the rings to the altar but, as you can imagine, that’s going to be Moon’s role.”
“Fuck, that’s going to be adorable.”
“Mhm, I know.” he nods. “Now, tell me, how are you feeling? Did talking to Tae help?”
“It did. He just knows what to say… You’re so lucky to have him, I’m so jealous.” she pouts.
“I know. Talking to him always helps me so fucking much.” Jungkook is quick to agree.
“I want to vent to you, too, but I’ll probably cry again. Do you mind?”
Jungkook smiles. “Nope. Go on.”
Eunjae mirrors the action. “Alright, so—”
│►
Taehyung puts Simba on the floor as soon as he opens the door, and the animal previously
debating in his arms is quick to run away. It makes him frown; Moon had such a good reaction to
them, obviously having missed them a lot, whereas Simba couldn’t have cared less. Cats aren’t
very docile, he knows, but Simba is even worse.
“Simba hates us. Will you finally accept that dogs are way better than cats?” he looks over at the
couch when he hears Jungkook’s voice, and he finds him still sitting, now with Eunjae sleeping
with her head comfortably resting on his thighs.
“I’m not accepting anything.” Taehyung shakes his head. “Was she feeling any better?” he asks,
gesturing towards the sleeping female as he removes his jacket.
“Yeah… She cried a bit and just fell asleep. She says that talking to you helped a lot, so thank you
for sitting down with her. It’s your job, and you did it for free…”
“I’m a friend first, so don’t thank me for being a friend.” Taehyung shrugs.
“You’re amazing.” Jungkook smiles up at him. “She was joking, but kind of worried that you’d be
jealous or bothered by her sleeping on me like this. She’s really dumb.”
Taehyung laughs, quietly. “I’m so jealous right now.”
Jungkook cackles. “I can see you shaking with anger.” he jokes as he carefully lifts Eunjae’s head
up, replacing his lap with a soft pillow. Taehyung helps by covering her body with a blanket, and
they make sure that she’s comfortable before heading to their bedroom.
Jungkook sits on the bed, fiddling with his fingers. “What’s wrong?” Taehyung asks.
“Did you know that I took alcohol with me to your parents’ place…?” he asks. “I felt bad for not
being completely transparent about this, so I’m being completely honest now.”
“You did? How?” Taehyung sits down next to him. “I didn’t see anything.”
“I just took, like, three small flasks.” Jungkook sighs. “I’ve been drinking every single day, many
times a day. I just never got drunk again, because you’ve been by my side to sleep, so I didn’t need
to get drunk. I uhm, I really never stopped drinking…”
Taehyung looks away. “What was the longest that you’ve gone without drinking?”
“I always drink when my body asks me to, so… I’d say two or three hours. Yeah, I’d take a good
sip or two, at least.” he admits, honest. “Why do you ask?”
“Did you drink today?” Jungkook remains quiet. “You can tell me.”
“I-I couldn’t hold myself, but I only took a sip in the morning… I’ve been ignoring the urge the
whole day, just busying myself with you, and then Eunjae.” Taehyung worries at his bottom lip,
and Jungkook can feel how tense he is. “Why?” he repeats.
“We probably won’t be able to sleep that well tonight.”
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 56 │►
Chapter Notes
“Tae?” Jungkook calls, a little helpless. “Tae, please, wake up…” he nudges the younger man,
shaking him by the shoulder, and watches as his eyes start to blink lazily. “I-I’m pretty sure that
I’m dying.” he manages to say.
Taehyung is quick to sit up, though puzzled and with his eyes just barely open. “What are you
feeling? Can you describe it to me?” the blonde asks as he gently places the back of his hand
against Jungkook’s forehead; he pulls away with a surprised hiss. “You’re burning, Jesus.”
“I really want to puke, and my whole body burns…” Jungkook cringes, reaching for the collar of
his own shirt to fan himself with it. “I’m burning, Tae, fuck. You’re a doctor— am I dying?” he
asks, and there’s a hint of fear in his voice.
“I’m not a doctor.” Taehyung stresses as he leans closer to strip Jungkook off of his shirt, throwing
it to the side; he’s sweating a lot, so layers of clothing won’t help. “Hyung, look at me, do you n
—” Jungkook interrupts him by pushing off of the bed, and running out of the bedroom. Taehyung
follows just as quickly, worried.
By the time that he reaches the bathroom, Jungkook is already knelt in front of the toilet, back
muscles flexing as he grips the edges as pain strikes through his torso. “Tae— fucking hell, I feel
like I’m going to puke everything out.”
“This is what dropping and addiction on your own looks like, hyung.” Taehyung kneels right next
to him, reaching for his hand to hold, giving it a squeeze. “I knew that you had never stopped, I
was just waiting for you to tell me…”
“You knew?” Jungkook looks at him for just a split second before he groans in pain, looking down
at the toilet again when the urge to puke returns. “It hurts…” he whispers.
“I know, I know…” Taehyung whispers back. “And, yes, I knew. It still didn’t change anything
when you confessed, or did it?” he asks, rhetorically. “I’m here for the good and the bad. I’m here
for all of you. Let it all out, I’m here.”
It doesn’t take long for Jungkook to puke his dinner out, the bathroom filled with obnoxious
sounds that Taehyung closes his eyes at. One of his hands rubs reassuring circles on the elder’s
bare back, whilst the other holds Jungkook’s bangs from his eyes, keeping the sweaty hair away.
“It hurts so much.” Jungkook groans. “I can’t do this, Tae, I can’t fucking—” he cuts himself off
when his stomach decides to act up once again., expelling anything that had been left.
“You’re so strong, Jungkook. You can do this. I’m right here, right next to you. You can do this…
I know that it hurts, but you’re the strongest person that I’ve ever met.” Taehyung reassures, his
eyes welled up; he can’t stand the thought of Jungkook being in pain. “You’re not alone. I’m
here…”
Jungkook cries, his body hurting everywhere, and burning with his fever.
And it’s not many agonizing minutes later before his stomach starts to settle, starts to calm down.
“Wash your mouth, hyung, I’ll get you a towel with cold water to put on your forehead… You
can’t take pills on an empty stomach, so we’ll try that for the fever.”
The elder nods, accepting the help to get to the sink, but he does manage to brush his teeth by
himself, and he uses a good amount of mouthwash to make sure that it’s all gone.
Taehyung returns to the bedroom when he’s already laying down, over the covers, of course; his
body temperature is way too high for him to even think of going under them. “Am I dying?”
Jungkook whispers, eyes closed.
“No, you’re not, you dummy.” Taehyung smiles, sitting down next to him to gently place the cold,
wet towel on his forehead. Jungkook hisses at the drastic difference in temperature. “I won’t make
you talk about any of this right now, so just relax, okay? It will be easier if you just go back to
sleep… I’m right here.” he assures.
Jungkook doesn’t reply with words, solely because he can’t make himself speak too much right
now, so he just nods as Taehyung ties his hair up to keep it completely out of the way. The blonde
then carefully uses another towel to dab at the sweat covering Jungkook’s torso.
“Thank you so much…” Jungkook whispers. “Everything hurts.”
“You’ll feel better in the morning, trust me.” Taehyung gives him a little smile as he bends down to
press a kiss to his forehead, afore flipping the towel to the colder side.
“Can you take my pants off, please?” he requests, voice hoarse and words a little slurred. “I feel
like I’m burning, please…” Taehyung rushes to pull at the strings of Jungkook’s sweatpants to
open them, and quickly pulls them down his legs.
“That should help…” Taehyung whispers, more to himself than anything.
“I fucking love you, man.” Jungkook manages to reply, a little floaty.
Taehyung smiles. “We can talk in the morning. As much as I love hearing you say that, your well-
being matters more to me… You should sleep, hyungie.” Jungkook nods, closing his eyes once
again. “I’ll be right here when you wake up.”
“Thank you…”
│►
Jungkook groans as soon as he regains his conscience, eyes refusing to open. He doesn’t feel as
though he’s burning, nor do his insides feel a second away from coming out through his mouth, but
he’s still a little uncomfortable. Taehyung was right, still, he does feel better.
He’s never been through anything as physically painful as last night’s withdrawal.
When his eyes do open, he jumps in place. “Fucking—” he lets out, startled. “What in the goddamn
fuck are you doing?!” he whisper-yells, looking up at Eunjae who’s standing by the bed, looking
down at them.
“I came in to check on you two.” her eyes inspect the scene before her, curious. Jungkook has
nothing more than socks and underwear on, and Taehyung’s face is hidden against his shoulder
blades as his arm holds the elder’s thin waist. “You look adorable sleeping.”
“You’re so fucking creepy, we could never actually live together.” Jungkook complains as he
reaches for the sheets to cover himself up.
“What do you mean? I’m already getting comfortable here.” she pouts. “I’m an awesome
housemate, and you can’t disagree with that one.”
“Fuck off, you were watching us sleep like a creep.”
“You fuck off, I literally just got here, I wasn’t watching, I was arriving just then.” she bends down
to flick his forehead. “You two looked adorable, so I stayed for one second before leaving… It’s
not my fault that you chose to wake up right then.”
“Don’t try to justify your—” he’s interrupted by the same hand that was previously resting on his
lower stomach, now crawling up to cover his mouth. Eunjae giggles.
“It’s entirely too early to listen to you two bickering.” Taehyung mumbles against his back, hand
still on Jungkook’s lips. “Just shut it. You two. Let me sleep for longer.”
“I’m sorry, my love, I didn’t mean to wake you up.” Jungkook mumbles as well as he can, and he
can see the way that Eunjae coos at the pet name. He gently removes the hand from his mouth,
linking their fingers.
“I’ll get going to work. Not everyone has the pleasure of having a few extended Christmas days.
You’re so lucky.”
“Seojoon only did it because I was out of town and wasn’t sure of when I’d be back. I’m going to
work tomorrow with you, worry not.” Jungkook informs, thumbing at the back of Taehyung’s hand
in reassuring circles.
“You better, because working with you is way funnier.” Eunjae smiles. “I’ll let you two sleep now,
sorry for waking you up.” she leans down to mess his hair up, and squeezes Taehyung’s shoulder
as a silent apology for disturbing his sleep.
“Bye, be careful.” is all that the blonde says while Jungkook winks at her. He waits until the young
woman leaves their bedroom before speaking again, voice soft and words quiet. “Are you feeling
better today, hyungie?”
“Yeah, a lot better.” Jungkook whispers, turning around in his arms to look at him. “I’ll let you
sleep some more, I’m tired too… and I’m sorry for ruining your night.” he says, looking into
Taehyung’s eyes with visible guilt, his hand gently brushing the hair away from his face.
“Don’t apologize for it.” Taehyung scoots closer to him, hiding against the crook of the elder’s
neck. “We have a packed day today… let’s enjoy the bed for a little longer.”
“Yeah.” Jungkook wraps his arms tightly around the blonde, closing his eyes as he breathes in
Taehyung’s comforting cologne. “Sleep well, my love.” he whispers, and he can feel the younger
man smile against his neck. It makes him smile, too. He’s a goner.
│►
Taehyung sneaks a glance at the older man as he takes another spoonful of his milk and cereal into
his mouth. Jungkook looks lost in his thoughts; there’s a crease between his eyebrows, and he
looks tense. He doesn’t look how Taehyung would expect him to be on the day that they finally
will get to pick up his schedule.
“Hyung?” Taehyung calls after a few more minutes of silence that, while he finds it slightly
uncomfortable, Jungkook’s too zoned out to notice.
“Yeah?” Jungkook doesn’t really look up, and his answer seems more automatic than anything, so
Taehyung calls his name once again. “Yes, baby?” he finally meets his eyes, voice sounding more
like himself. “What’s wrong?”
“We should talk about what happened.” Taehyung starts. “It wasn’t pretty, and—”
“I’m sorry.” Jungkook whispers, looking down.
“Don’t be.” Taehyung immediately reaches for his hands. “Don’t be sorry. I’m so, so insanely
proud of you, but— It will happen again, Jungkook, and I’m not a doctor. Not like that, at least.”
he worries at his bottom lip as he thinks his next words through. “We should really uhm… find
help for you, hyung. Proper help. Not me rubbing your back through it.”
“Tae, if you have any ounce of love for me, you—”
“No, Jungkook, I’m sorry, but this isn’t about loving you or not.” he interrupts. “That was scary.
Last night was really scary. Waking up to you saying that you’re sure that you’re dying was
terrifying. You could’ve— I don’t know, you could’ve seized, so many things could’ve happened,
and how would I deal with that? I’m not a doctor. I’m a therapist and, as a therapist, I’m telling you
straight on: you need help. Not me. I’m not the help that you need anymore, hyung. I’ve done my
part when it comes to this particular problem, but there’s nothing else that I can do about it to
help.” Taehyung says, trying not to sound too harsh. Jungkook just looks away. “Stop, hyung,
don’t tune me out. I’m serious.”
“I’m not tuning you out, I’m thinking…” Jungkook sighs, running a hand through his hair. “I
understand that you’re worried, and I’m too, but I’m also scared. I’ve never felt such physical pain
in my life, and I don’t want to go through it again, either.” he squeezes Taehyung’s hand, taking it
to his lips to press a long kiss to his knuckles. “Still, I ask you, please trust me. Allow me to try this
on my own. For a bit, at least. If it doesn’t work, then we’ll consider… help.”
“You will have more withdrawals, and they can come when you least expect them to. What if
you’re at work? Will you put that responsibility in a nineteen-year-old’s hands?” Jungkook is silent
at that, because he knows how right Taehyung is. “I just want you to be safe…”
“I can’t do rehab, Tae. I understand the implications of doing this by myself, and I understand that
it’s scary for you. If— If you want to leave, if it’s too much for you, I won’t force you to stay.” he
lets go of Taehyung’s hands. “I love you, I truly do, but I’d never force you to stay. I’m too much
to handle, I know. If you want to go, I’ll understand.”
“I don’t— Hyung, I don’t want to leave you. I won’t leave you. Remember what I said last night?
I’m here for the good and the bad, you don’t have to worry about me leaving. God, Jungkook, I’m
just so freaking worried about you. Seeing you in pain— it hurt me too.”
“I’m sorry.” Jungkook lays his head on his arms. “Please, just let me try for a bit. I can’t do rehab
so, please, just let me try.” he whispers.
Taehyung takes a hand to his head, massaging his scalp. “It’s your decision, and I support whatever
it is that you choose, you know that. If you don’t want to go to a rehabilitation center, then we can
keep trying at home… Just know that the withdrawals will come back, and they might be worse
than the first one. If I don’t know how to deal with it, I will call an ambulance, and they’ll be the
ones deciding what to do from then on.”
Jungkook nods. “Okay.” he sniffs. “I understand, and thank you for even believing that I can do
this.” Taehyung sighs, leaning down to plant a kiss on top of his head, over the messy hair.
“I’m going to take a shower. We must leave soon.” the younger man informs, ruffling his hair
before getting up. “I’m glad that we talked this out, hyung.”
“Yeah, I’m glad, too.” Jungkook lifts his head enough to flash him a smile, and Taehyung mirrors
it afore walking away. He waits until the bathroom door is closed to get up, and until the show is
running to kneel on the floor next to the drawers.
The last drawer has nothing but useless things that he doesn’t even know why he still has and, at
the far back, one of his flasks. He can’t physically deal with another withdrawal. He felt as though
he was actually going to die, and it’s terrifying to think that the next one might be even worse. It’s
too much. He can’t do it.
He takes a sip that tastes of guilt, but can’t stop himself from taking a second one. He’s
disappointing Taehyung again. Wiping the corners of his mouth, he cringes as he thinks of every
possible scenario resulting from this.
Taehyung will find out, because it’s inevitable, and Jungkook knows that he’ll have enough of him
then. Once it’s ok, twice it’s a push. Three times is entirely too much, and Jungkook’s aware of it.
He doesn’t want the third time to come.
│►
“Your architecture class will be… here.” Taehyung points towards the door as he analyzes the
schedule and the small map of the campus that Hoseok gave them. “Would you like to go in and
see how it looks?” he asks with a smile.
“Wouldn’t it be like every other classroom?” Jungkook asks, and Taehyung lightly hits his arm
with the now folded schedule. “I sense that I’m wrong.”
“Indeed, you are.” Taehyung tsks. “Some classrooms are huge. Depending on the class, and the
number of people attending, some are even auditoriums.” he pushes the door to open it, humming
to himself once he realizes that it’s the exact thing that he’s mentioning.
“This is… insane.” Jungkook looks around. “Shit, I’m going to be having classes with the whole
town.” Taehyung laughs, holding onto the other’s arms as he leans against his shoulder. “Baby, this
really is a dream coming true.” they lock their eyes for a second, and Jungkook leans down to press
a kiss to Taehyung’s forehead.
Taehyung straightens up, ending the space between them to meet the elder’s lips with his own.
Their mouths fit together perfectly, and they move innocently at first, before Jungkook’s tongue
peeks out to lick across Taehyung’s bottom lip.
His hands pull Taehyung closer by his hips, and the latter rests his own on Jungkook’s strong chest
as they slowly get lost in the addictive taste of each other’s lips. They only pull away when they
hear someone clearing their throat. “Oh, shit.” Jungkook lets out as they finally register the man
sitting behind the desk. “Is that the professor?”
“Uh, probably.” Taehyung whispers back. “We’re sorry, sir. We’re visiting to see the facilities
since he’s joining the classes this semester.” he explains, loud enough for the man to hear.
Said man gets up, going around his desk to lean back against it, his arms crossed. He gestures for
them to get closer, and so they do, hand in hand as they go down the stairs. “Will you be in my
class?” the professor asks, looking between them.
“Yeah, I am assuming so.” Jungkook smiles. “We didn’t think that anyone was here, otherwise we
wouldn’t have— Yeah, we apologize.” he scratches the back of his neck, uncharacteristically shy.
“It’s alright.” the man waves dismissively. “How old are you, if I may ask? You don’t look fresh
out of high school.”
“I’m twenty-eight. I know that I’m a little too old to be studying, but the opportunity was only
given to me now, and I’m taking it.” he squeezes Taehyung’s hand in his.
“There’s no such thing as being too old to study.” the professor says, and it’s something that
Taehyung has told him, too. “What major did you sign up for?”
“Architecture. Oh, with a minor in engineering…” the man nods, appreciative. “I hope that it won’t
be too hard…” he jokes, getting a smile out of the other two.
“If you have ambition, you can accomplish everything.” Taehyung nods, agreeing. “What about
you? Will you be a student of mine, too?”
“Oh, no. I’ve already majored in psychology a while ago. I’ve been working as a therapist for the
past two years.”
“Congratulations. I’ve heard that psychology classes are very interesting.” the older man smiles,
looking back to his desk. “It’s been lovely talking to you, but I have some things to go over for the
beginning of the semester, so I must get going.”
“Of course.” they take a step back, bowing. “Have a good afternoon, we’ll leave you to it now.”
Jungkook bids his goodbyes, already heading to the stairs.
“I hope that college treats you well, young man. Don’t let stress get to you, and just focus on the
goal that is graduating. If it gets too hard, think of those close to you.” Jungkook turns towards the
blonde, eyes meeting Taehyung’s already awaiting ones; they smile shyly at each other. “With that
being said, leave my classroom.” it’s said with a joking tone that makes them both chuckle, leaving
with a wave of the hands.
“Well… That was something.” Taehyung says once they close the door.
“If by ‘something’ you mean us getting caught making out like teens in the first classroom that we
try to see, then yes, I agree that it was something.” Jungkook pouts. “I thought that I was about to
get my ass in trouble before even starting attending.”
Taehyung laughs. “You didn’t, that’s what matters. Besides, you met a cool professor.” he touches
the tip of Jungkook’s nose with his finger. “Now, we should get going if we want to see
everything.” he smiles, tugging him by the hand.
Jungkook follows, just as excited, his smile never faltering.
He’s too content.
│►
“…but it’s really big. If we hadn’t looked around today, I’d probably get so fucking lost on my
first day of classes.” Jungkook says, gesturing a little too much; Taehyung can tell just how excited
he is, solely based on his body language. “I’ll probably still get lost, but… less.”
“I’m happy that you enjoyed today. You deserve it.” Taehyung pats his thigh lightly. “You’re the
person that deserves happiness the most in the world. I’m happy that you had a good day today,
hyung.”
“I always do when I’m with you.” Jungkook grabs Taehyung’s hand, kissing its palm before resting
it against his own cheek. Taehyung only pulls it back when he needs both of his hands to pull the
car over. “Why are we stopping, love?”
“We should go to the pharmacy.” Taehyung suggests. “They probably have pills that could help
with the withdrawals… or at least make you puke less, hurt less. I don’t know.”
Jungkook looks out of the window, swallowing dry. “I don’t think that you understand how much
it hurt. I can’t physically deal with another one…” he whispers. “I wasn’t lying when I said that I
felt like I was dying, Tae. I can’t do that again. I just can’t.”
Taehyung reaches for his chin, gently turning his head to face him. “They’ll pass, Koo. They may
get worse than this one, but… they’ll end, eventually.” he thumbs at his cheek, trying to give him a
smile reassuring enough. “And the pulls will help, that’s for sure.”
“But what if they don’t?”
“Then we have to try a different approach.” Taehyung smiles. “Either way, I’ll be right there with
you. If you don’t want to go to the pharmacy to buy the pills, that’s also ok, but… but they’d
probably make it easier for you.”
Jungkook nods. “Okay. I’ll get the pills.” he smiles. “You’re with me, so there’s no reason for me
to be scared. I know that you’ll have my back even if the pills don’t work.”
“Come here.” Taehyung pulls him closer by the collar of his shirt, joining their lips. “I’m by your
side at all times, so we’ll go in there to buy those pills without thinking about the outcome, okay?”
“Okay.” the elder whispers. “Let’s go.”
│►
Taehyung rolls over in bed when Jungkook’s newest alarm wakes them up, the older man turning it
off with only one eye barely even open. “It’s the blue pill.” Taehyung reminds him, cuddling into
his pillow.
Jungkook sighs, not really feeling like getting up, but he still does. He goes to the bathroom with
his eyes closed, almost blinding himself when he switches the light on to be able to see the box of
pills that they bought.
He places the pill in his palm, a single blue one, and closes his eyes again. He doesn’t want to take
it. He’s terrified. The withdrawal was too harsh, his body reacted too poorly, and it hurt too much.
To make it even worse, Taehyung had to see it, had to watch him like that. He doesn’t want it
again. He doesn’t want the stupid pills.
His shaky hand opens the toilet lid, and he swallows the lump in his throat before throwing the pill
to the water. Then, he flushes it.
Jungkook looks back at the mirror, his reflection staring right back at him. He doesn’t want to
drink, but the consequences of stopping are too harsh for him to put himself through it. Tears are
quick to run down his cheeks as he thinks about what he’s just done; he’s just digging himself a
bigger hole, one that he might not be able to get out of.
“Did you take the blue one?” he hears from the door, and their eyes meet through the mirror.
Jungkook sniffs, quickly wiping his nose with the back of his hand before turning the faucet on to
wash his face, maybe not get caught crying.
“Yes, I did.” he lies. “Why did you get up, love? It’s late, go back to sleep. I’ll be right back, just
give me a minute.” he whispers, unwilling to wake Eunjae up.
“It’s going to be ok.” Taehyung takes a few steps closer, hugging him from the back, head resting
against Jungkook’s shoulder blade. He’s so incredibly sleepy that he could fall asleep right then
and there, against Jungkook’s back.
Jungkook closes his eyes, trying not to start crying. He’s letting Taehyung down again, and he’s
entirely guilty this time. Everything is right there for him to stop and yet, he consciously chose to
flush one of the keys to get better. It’s his fault, he’s guilty of it, and he can’t deny it.
“C’mon, baby, let’s go to bed.” Jungkook turns around, and Taehyung allows the elder to guide
him back to their shared bedroom. They both lay down, Jungkook making sure to cover them up
properly, and taking special time when tucking Taehyung in.
“You did so well.” Taehyung praises, eyes closing again. “I’m so proud of you, you did amazing.
You’re doing amazing. I’m proud…” his words sound a little slurred, and Jungkook can tell that
he’s slowly but surely falling back to sleep.
“You shouldn’t be proud.” Jungkook whispers. “Sleep, my love.”
“Hm… I’m so proud of you…” Taehyung repeats, nonetheless. “You’re so strong… You’ve been
trying so hard, you deserve good rest, so let’s sleep…” he encourages, clinging onto Jungkook’s
arm as if his life depends on it. Taehyung goes out like a light, falling asleep in a second.
Jungkook pries his arm away to turn around instead of cuddling Taehyung, opting for hugging his
pillow instead. The tears waste no time before they come back, and they’re stronger this time. He’s
a disappointment, and he doesn’t even try not to be one anymore. Taehyung would hate him if he
knew just how weak he is.
Strong? That’s not a word that can be used to describe him.
He’s sobbing as quietly as he can, but it doesn’t seem to be quiet enough. “Why are you crying…?”
Eunjae asks, tiptoeing her way to Jungkook’s side of the bed. “I could hear you in the living
room…” she whispers, kneeling down.
“I’m sorry.” he whispers back, embarrassed. “I tried to be quiet…”
Eunjae doesn’t say anything, only lets her hand find its place in Jungkook’s hair, slowly threading
her fingers through it to help him relax. Jungkook closes his eyes, two new tears rolling down to
the pillow. “Sleep…” she instructs, holding his hand with her free one.
She knows that he won’t speak with Taehyung right there, so she just focuses on helping him go
back to sleep. It doesn’t take long for it to happen, Jungkook drifting into dreamland with the
knowledge that he’s proven, again, that he’s not deserving of Taehyung.
He knows that Taehyung will realize that. Sooner or later.
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let’s discuss...
◄│ 57 │►
Chapter Notes
Jungkook looks down at the man sleeping right next to him, getting up without looking back again.
If he does, he’s sure that he’s going to end up waking Taehyung up by either crying or tackling him
with apologetic kisses. Instead, he just makes his way to the kitchen.
Eunjae is standing by the fridge with a carton of milk in her hands, and she smiles when he walks
in. “Good morning.” she greets. “We should have a little talk…”
“I just woke up, I don’t want to—”
“I didn’t ask whether you want to or not.” Eunjae puts the milk down on the counter, gesturing for
him to sit; he does so with a sigh. “Care to tell me why you were sobbing like that last night? I
heard you two talk about a blue pill… Did he ask you to take Viagra or—”
“You’re honestly so dumb, I can’t deal with this so early.” Jungkook rubs his tired eyes, not even
acknowledging her joke. “We bought pills to help me stop drinking, and— No, they’re actually to
help me with the withdrawals. I had one the other night, and it was the most painful experience that
I’ve ever had… so the pills are meant to help with that.”
Eunjae sits down, eyebrows furrowed. “I’m sorry… I had no idea.”
“I flushed the pill.” Jungkook whispers, running his hands through his hair. “I fucking— Jae, I hate
this so fucking much.” he looks up. “I want to stop drinking, I hate being a fucking drunk, but I
can’t. I physically can’t make myself stop, and I keep lying and lying to the guy that I love,
knowing just how hurt he will be when he finds out, and how tiring it is for him to find shit out all
the time.” he elaborates as he nervously tugs on his hair.
“Hey, don’t pull your hair like that, you’ll hurt yourself.” she quickly reaches for his hand, prying
it away. “Why do you think that lying is any sort of solution, then? If you’re so aware that it’s bad,
then why can’t you just be honest with him?”
“You don’t understand…”
“Then help me understand. I want to understand you.”
“I don’t know if you’ve ever been addicted to anything before, but it’s not a matter of wanting to
quit, or trusting yourself to quit. It’s not a matter of having supportive people by your side… It’s a
matter of actually being able to quit without going back. My body doesn’t let me. My mind knows
that what I do is wrong, and awful, and that’s why I keep having mental breakdowns, but that’s not
enough to win over my body. It’s not enough.”
“To be very honest with you, I didn’t know that alcohol could get anyone this messed up. It’s not
like you’re addicted to heroin or some shit like that…”
“I feel like, to me, it’s more the mental exhaustion that makes me be this self-deprecating.” he
sighs. “It’s too much. It’s becoming too much.”
“What is?” Jungkook looks away. “You can tell me. I don’t get hurt easily, so you can say it even
if it has something to do with me being here.”
“You being here is ok, that’s not a problem…” Eunjae just gives him a little encouraging smile,
and the elder gulps. “It’s having to lie, knowing that every time that I do, I’m just digging myself a
hole where I’ll end up in when Tae finds out, for the third time. It’s knowing that he believes so
much in me, but all that I do is… play with his trust. It’s knowing that he keeps wasting his money
on me, when the bigger reason why I struggle financially is precisely because I spend it all on
booze.” Jungkook lists off on his fingers. “It’s knowing that he will hate me when he gets to know
about this and, as result, knowing that I may lose him.”
“I hope that this doesn’t sound really invalidating to you but, if you’re so aware of all of this, why
can’t you just… I don’t know how to say it properly but, like, try harder…?” Eunjae tilts her head.
“You have something, someone to fight for. Isn’t that a good motivation?”
“I love Taehyung. Unconditionally, I do. I know that it may be weird, given that it’s sort of a recent
thing, but I seriously feel so much for him that my heart feels like it’s going to burst every time that
he smiles at me…” his friend smiles, trying not to coo. “…but loving someone isn’t enough
sometimes. I want to stop, I want to be a normal guy, I don’t want my hopefully-soon-to-be
boyfriend to wake up at night with me drowning in sweat as I have a withdrawal. I don’t want my
friend, who’s dealing with personal shit on her own, to wake up during the night because I’m
sobbing into my pillow over the fact that I’m such a fucking weak ass— failure.” he rants, having
to stop himself.
“Jungkook, you’re everything but a failure. Addictions are tough shit and, from the little, really
little that I know of you, your life hasn’t been the easiest. Your mind was already pretty fucked up
before, considering everything… and the pressure and stress of battling an addiction is just adding
up to it. That’s why you’re feeling like this, this low. You’re strong, though. You’re really strong
for enduring all of this. I fucking appreciate and admire it, man.”
“It’s insanely tiring, though.” he whispers. “My head is constantly all over the place. Tae’s the one
that I rely on the most, because he’s the one that knows the most about my life… He knows me
like no one else, he’s known me for a decade, and has seen me at my lowest points thus far… And
I can’t tell him this. I can’t rely on him for this. I promised him that I wouldn’t drink again, and I
did as soon as he turned his back to me. I’d have to tell him that much. I’d have to tell him how I
consciously threw the pill away.”
“Knowing him, I’m sure that he’d understand…”
“Understand what, Jae? That I’m so selfish? God, I literally have everything that I grew up
wanting. I have friends who support me, I have a roof over my head, and I’ve long said goodbye to
my abusive past. I have the perfect person basically dating me, who’s trying his damn hardest just
to make me happy. Mind you, he’s paying for me to have a second chance at life, he paid for the
pills, he’s helping me in every single way possible, and he’s never once complained. I have him,
and many friends who wouldn’t hesitate to help me pay for rehab if I went for it. I’m just a piece
of shit who’s too weak to go for it because I’m scared due to deeper things that you wouldn’t
understand.” Jungkook rants once again, eyes watering.
Eunjae remains silent this once; gapes.
“I’m sorry. I’m letting all of this out on you, you’re literally a kid, I shouldn’t be dumping all of
this emotional baggage on you.” the man deflates, wiping away the tears in his eyes.
“You’re my best and realest friend right now. I care a lot about you so, if you’re able to talk to me,
then do it. I suck at giving advice, that’s why I don’t know what to say. I’m always here to listen,
I’m always here for you to let out your frustrations…. but I won’t always know what to say.”
Eunjae explains, digging into her pocket. “I’ve been carrying this to give to you, I just couldn’t find
the opportunity to…” she slides a paper on the table, and Jungkook looks down at it with curiosity.
“I got this a few days ago. You should read about it before you say no.”
It’s a flyer, he sees, and the bold letters in the front make his stomach turn.
“Yeah, okay.” Jungkook nods, thinking of how to quickly change the subject. “You’ll be late for
work if you take too long getting ready now, I took over all of your time.” he says, gesturing to the
clock on the wall.
“You’re right, I need to leave. I do have to say, you’re really lucky. I thought that you were going
to work today, I can’t believe that you’re staying at home.”
“I was going to work, but Seojoon told me to stay when I told him that it was my boyfriend’s
birthday… Tae’s not even my boyfriend, and maybe he wouldn’t have been as nice if he knew
that.”
“You two are basically married, anyways.” Eunjae stands up from the stool, cracking her back.
“I’ll be going home after work just to see whether it’s ok for me to return or not. If you arrive home
and I’m here, then shit went poorly.”
“I’m not waiting that long. You better text me as soon as you’re done talking to your parents.”
Jungkook demands. “If your dad insults you again the way that he did when you came out, call me,
and I’ll pick you up myself. I will have a little chat with him, too.”
“You’re amazing.” she smiles, kissing his forehead. “Wish Tae a happy birthday for me, since I’ll
be gone by the time that he wakes up. I’ll text him, but still… Also, don’t fuck up his breakfast,
these are the most important pancakes that you’ll ever have to make in your life.”
“Thanks for the pressure.”
Eunjae giggles. “You’re welcome, dude.”
│►
Taehyung’s eyes flutter open, slowly regaining his conscience as he feels little kisses being pressed
all over his neck. “…happy birthday, my dear—” there’s a pause, and he keeps his eyes on the
ceiling as he waits. “—my baby, whom I love so fucking much, please wake up given that it’s the
second time that I’m singing this motherfucking song at eight in the damn morning…” Jungkook
sings in one single breath, words rapid.
Their eyes meet then, and they both smile lovingly at each other.
“Happy birthday…” Jungkook continues singing, now in a faint whisper, as he leans closer until
their noses are touching. “…to you.” he smiles, pecking Taehyung’s lips. They’re gone before he
can even properly feel them, but it’s good enough for now.
“How do you even know that it’s my birthday?”
“I was blessed with greater knowledge at birth, so I know everything.” Jungkook smiles, still
holding himself up on his forearms to hover over the younger man. “Either that, or your mom told
me over Christmas so that I wouldn’t forget.”
“The first option sounds way more plausible, I think.” they both giggle quietly, and Jungkook
kisses his cheek. “Thank you for remembering, and thank you for waking me up with such a
romantic version of ‘happy birthday’.” Taehyung teases, but he means it. “I liked the new added…
words. They were very family friendly.”
“You know that I have a dirty mouth.” Jungkook sits up. “And I believe that curse words can be
romantic. They add meaning and emphasis to what I mean to say.”
“Yeah, of course.” Taehyung nods, sitting up as well. Only then does he notice the tray left at the
foot of the bed, and he gasps, surprised. “You made me breakfast?”
“I always make you breakfast.” Jungkook smiles as he gets up to get the tray. “I did make a special
looking one today, though. It took me so long to get the stupid pancakes in the right shape, I’m
tired.” he dramatizes, placing the food on Taehyung’s lap. There are four piled up heart-shaped
pancakes, covered with chocolate syrup and strawberries — Taehyung’s favorite. There’s orange
juice and water, some other snacks, and Taehyung can’t look away from the pancakes. They’re
perfectly shaped, so he can’t even imagine how long they took.
“They look so good…!” he hums, grabbing the fork. “Would you like to try them first?”
“God, no. I’m stuffed. I ate all of the three hundred pancakes that went wrong.” Jungkook rests
against the headboard with a hand on his full stomach. “I hope that they taste good. It’s my baby’s
birthday, they have to be the best.” he smiles.
“Shouldn’t you be at work? I thought that I wouldn’t see you until you got off…” Taehyung asks
as he takes the first piece of pancake to his mouth, only to hum in appreciation. “These are
amazing, hyung. Your cooking skills are seriously over the top now.” he praises.
“Thank you, my love.” Jungkook leans in to kiss Taehyung’s shoulder over his shirt. “To answer
your question… I’m not going to work today. I called Seojoon as I was planning what to do for
your birthday, and I only asked him whether I could leave, like, an hour or two earlier, and he told
me to just start tomorrow, as it’s only a day difference. He’s so fucking nice.”
“I’m so happy and relieved to know that you have a nice boss now.” Taehyung smiles, genuine.
“Would you like some pancakes?” he offers again, fork hovering close to Jungkook’s lips, but the
latter makes an obnoxious puking sound. “Stop…!”
“You can’t imagine how many pancakes I ate, don’t even make me smell them, or I might just
puke.” he twists his nose in distaste, and Taehyung laughs. “Also… Can I, uhm, I need to tell you
and give you something before I lose my already little courage. If it’s not now, then I might never
do this…”
Taehyung tilts his head. “Is this a serious or a sad topic?”
“It’s both, in a way.” he puts his fork down, all of his attention solely focused on the older man.
Jungkook reaches into the pocket of his sweatpants, getting the flyer that he was given just an hour
prior. “Eunjae gave me this slip to a rehabilitation center nearby.” he says.
Taehyung watches him unfold it, and he can physically see the pain behind Jungkook’s eyes just
from looking at the title in bold letters. “Go on.” he encourages.
“I don’t want to go.” Jungkook looks up at him. “I can’t do it physically, or mentally. I’m not
nearly as strong as you think that I am… I’m always close to a breaking point, and we both know
it.” Taehyung furrows his eyebrows in worry. “I don’t want to go, but I want you to keep this, in
case— in case that it gets too much for you. If it ever comes to a point where you see no other
option, you can decide what to do with this.” he hands over the paper, gulping.
“Jungkook…”
“I’m trusting you to tell me whenever and if you feel like you can’t deal with this anymore, and I’ll
accept your decision. I’m also trusting you to be the one picking what place will treat me the best if
that day ever comes. I don’t think that I’ll be able to handle it, but it’d be harder to handle losing
you, so—” Jungkook closes his eyes, sighs. “I want you to be the one deciding when it’s time. Not
friends, not myself, not a random doctor. You. I’m sorry for putting the responsibility on you, but
you’re the one that I trust the most with my life.”
“Don’t apologize. Thank you for trusting me enough for this.” Taehyung smiles, leaving the flyer
on his bedside table. “I’ll read it, and inform myself properly. And don’t ever say that you’re not
strong. You’re the strongest person that I’ve ever met. You’re way stronger than you think.” he
states, almost frustrated.
Jungkook looks down. “I don’t want to make this all sad… Let’s just focus on the fact that you’re
getting old, how’s that?”
“You’re one to talk.” Taehyung quickly throws the jab back, stuffing his mouth with more
pancakes.
Jungkook gasps. “How dare you?!” he dramatizes. “I’ll cry. I will.”
Taehyung cackles. “I’ll still like you when you become old. Does that make you feel better?”
The elder squints. “Yes, it does.” he leans closer, kissing Taehyung’s cheek. “My birthday boy.”
“Hm… Would you like some pancakes?”
“Dude—”
│►
Taehyung patiently waits for Jungkook to return from the kitchen where he’s left to to leave the
now empty tray, and uses the brief minutes to reply to some of the texts that he’s received wishing
him a happy birthday.
He puts his phone away when he hears the door opening, and smiles as he finds Jungkook coming
in with his hands hidden behind his back. “You either have a knife and that’s it for me, or you got
me a birthday gift.” he theorizes.
Jungkook smiles. “It’s a knife, how did you guess?” he teases, walking closer. “I didn’t buy you
anything, but this is more special and meaningful than anything that I could ever purchase in a
store.” Taehyung tilts his head, confused but curious. “Here, but I have to explain it first…” he sits
down, handing over the box.
“Okay, explain it, please.” Taehyung encourages, holding but not daring to open it before he gets to
hear about it.
“Well… When my mom turned eighteen, my grandma gave her a necklace — that she got from my
grandpa — and my mom was meant to give it to someone really special in her life. She almost gave
it to my dad, but realized in time how bad he was…” Taehyung nods, following. “She gave it to me
instead, with the same purpose. For me to give to someone really special in my life… That’s why
I’m giving it to you.”
“Jungkook… I can’t. It’s your mom’s.” Taehyung whispers, looking down at the still closed door.
“As you said before, you don’t have anything left from them, but you have this. You can’t give it
away, you have to keep it.”
“I’m not giving it away.” Jungkook smiles. “I’m making sure that my mom’s necklace serves its
purpose, and I’m giving it to you, who will never not mean the world to me. Even if… if we find
that we don’t work out like this, I know that we’ll still be friends, and I know that I’d never regret
giving you this. She would’ve loved you, and I love you, so, please, I want you to have it.” he
gestures, encouraging.
Taehyung wants to cry, but keeps it in, focusing on opening the box ever so carefully. It’s a silver
necklace with a little heart pendant in the same material. “Hyung, this is beautiful and so incredibly
meaningful, but… This was your mom’s, and the only thing that you have left from her. You’ve
kept this for years, I can’t— This is yours, hyungie…”
“I did keep it for years, and I didn’t want to give it to anyone, the tradition was going to end with
me… Then I met you, and you’re someone worthy of it. I fucking love you and appreciate you so
much, Tae, I don’t think that you understand just how much.” he gulps, feeling his chest a little too
tight; it’s too much sometimes. “I’d love it if you accepted it.”
“Are you sure?” Jungkook nods. “Then I’ll accept it. Thank you so much, hyung.” Taehyung’s
eyes shine as he picks up the necklace, and Jungkook scoots closer to take it from his hands so that
he can, gently, secure it around Taehyung’s neck.
He presses a little kiss to the curve where Taehyung’s neck meets his shoulder, making the latter
giggle. “It looks beautiful on you, as everything does. So pretty. You’re so pretty.”
“Thank you…” Taehyung turns his neck just enough to see him, their lips stretching into little
smiles. “This is the best gift that I’ve ever received.”
“Oh. Wow. Ok.”
“What— It’s a good thing, why are you upset?” he asks, confused.
“How is this the best gift? Have you already forgotten about the amazing mistletoe that I got you
for Christmas?” it takes the blonde a second to process that he’s just joking, and it makes him
laugh. Jungkook tries his best to remain serious. “I don’t see how this is funny.”
“Alright, I apologize. This is the second best, nothing could ever top that mistletoe… Even if the
best part wasn’t even the mistletoe itself, but the kisses that came with it.” he teases.
“Oh, really?” Taehyung hums. “See, then, how lucky you are that you can now kiss me whenever
you want to?” Jungkook smiles, resting their foreheads together. “On another note, my love, I have
to present you with a few options for your day…”
“What are the options?”
“I’d love to take you out today for a date. I know that it’s your birthday, so I don’t know whether
you’d prefer to spend it with your friends or alone with me… For that reason, I called Jimin to
explain all of this. He’s ready and aware that, if I call him, he’ll have to find a birthday cake and to
call all of your friends.” Jungkook explains, pulling back to look at him. I want you to be the one
deciding… What would you prefer to do?”
Taehyung leans in for a quick peck. “I’d love it if you took me for a date.”
Jungkook smiles, pleased. “Okay. That’s good to hear…” he takes his hand to Taehyung’s hair,
gently tucking a stray strand behind his ear. “A nice date for the prettiest birthday boy.”
The blonde rolls his eyes playfully. “I’m not a boy.” he retorts. “Just kiss me.”
“Of course, no need to ask.” Jungkook goes to lean in, but stops, pressing his hand flat against
Taehyung’s mouth — it grants him both a look and a sound of confusion. “No tongues, though. If I
taste the pancakes, I may accidentally puke in your mouth.”
Taehyung cringes. “I don’t even want a kiss anymore.”
“What— No, come back…!”
│►
“Hold up… Wait, wait.” Taehyung giggles as he tries to pull back, though the hands holding him
close don’t let him move a single inch; Jungkook’s lips don’t detach from his neck. “Hyung, stop
it!” he screeches, having to physically pull the elder away so that he can reach for his phone, finger
dragging over the screen to pick up the incoming call.
Jungkook frowns, letting him sit on his lap, which is a sight that he doesn’t get nearly often
enough. His hands fall loosely on Taehyung’s lower back, but don’t venture lower. They’ve never
even had a conversation about anything of the sort, and he’d never forgive himself if he made
Taehyung feel uncomfortable.
“Hey, Jiminie…” Taehyung greets.
“Happy birthday!” he has to get the phone away from his ear when his best friend just about yells
the words at him. “How do you feel, hm? Turning twenty-six.” Jimin asks, excited.
“It’s just a birthday, I don’t care that much.” Taehyung admits with a shrug. “Hoseokie called me
not even half an hour ago, and he was yelling louder than you did… I almost went deaf on my left
ear.” he exaggerates, making his friend laugh.
“He did what he had to do.” Jimin giggles. “Also… Jungkook hyung called earlier, saying that he
was unsure whether you’d be spending the day together or not… Have you decided yet?”
“Oh, we have. He’s taking me out today, so we’ll be spending the day together.” Taehyung smiles
when their eyes meet, and he can see all the love and affection that Jungkook holds for him. It
makes butterflies break free in his stomach, his chest feel tight.
“That’s good, that’s really cute… Kind of romantic, don’t you think?” Jimin asks, trying to get
information or the smallest hint about what Christmas was like for them.
“I don’t think so, no. Jungkook’s my best friend.” Jungkook frowns at those words, and Taehyung
has to hold himself back from laughing. Jimin sighs, whiny. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Nothing at all.” he says, exasperated. “Do you want to go out after dinner with us, then?
Hoseok, you, and I, something very casual, since you don’t like celebrating…” Taehyung opens his
mouth to answer, but promptly closes it again to give Jungkook a look when the latter tugs at his
tee-shirt to be able to freely kiss his neck.
Taehyung weakly slaps his hand away. “Yes, we can.” he answers at last, cheeks burning in a cute
shade of red when Jungkook starts creating a slow path to go lower, now nipping at his collarbones
— softly, as if to test the waters. Taehyung doesn’t pull away, so he continues, even if with no
second intentions; his kisses remain innocent.
“Great. Let us know when you get back home from—”
“Stop it!” Taehyung whisper-yells, giggling to himself when Jungkook takes a little bite. “Yeah,
I’ll tell you, don’t worry.”
“What’s going on over there?”
“Nothing, Moon was just trying to lick my face, is all.” Jungkook raises an eyebrow at the excuse,
and Taehyung is — thankfully — fast enough to place a hand flat against his mouth when the elder
tries to lick his cheek, just as he claimed to Jimin. “I’ll call you when I get home later today.”
“Alright, Taehyungie, I’ll be waiting for the call. Have an amazing day with hyung. I love you so,
so much.” Jungkook tries to take Taehyung’s hand away from his mouth, but that only makes him
press harder; he frowns.
“Bye, I love you, too.” he makes a kissing sound before ending the call and, only then, he takes the
hand from Jungkook’s mouth. “What were you doing, mister?”
“I was just giving you affection.” Jungkook shrugs. “You know how much I love to kiss your
neck…” he leans closer, already aiming for another kiss, but Taehyung leans away. “Mean.”
“Hyung, you can’t kiss me like that when I’m on the phone… What if Jimin had heard
something?” Taehyung tsks, flicking his chin.
“Then you could say that it was your best friend.” they both turn silent after that, but Taehyung
breaks into laughter not even five seconds later, his arms circling Jungkook’s shoulders to hug him.
“Is that why you were kissing me like that? Was hyung upset that I called him my best friend…?”
Jungkook frowns even harder. “I thought that we had an agreement…”
“And we do, but it doesn’t make it any less upsetting to hear you say that about me.” he mumbles
the last few words as he leans in for a kiss, capturing Taehyung’s lips.
“But you are my best friend, which is a good thing. A good friendship as a relationship’s
foundation is a good thing.” Taehyung reassures. “What would you like me to call you, then?”
“I’d like you to call me the love of your life.” the blonde cringes. “Hey, you just said ‘I love you’
to Jimin! Why is it so different when it’s with me?”
“Because It’s a different type of love. I won’t say it to you unless I truly mean it.” Taehyung
shrugs, gently kissing the tip of Jungkook’s nose. “Also… Calling you ‘the love of my life’ is just
a little sappy, isn’t it? Even for us.”
“Well, you are mine.” Jungkook shrugs. “Sappy or not.”
“My God— Stop…”
“Hm, are you calling me your God? That’s kinky as shit.” Taehyung blinks, taking a second too
long to understand what Jungkook means; when he does, his cheeks turn a deep shade of pink.
“I hate you.” he mumbles, promptly hiding his face in the crook of Jungkook’s neck. “You can’t
tease me during our date… If you do, it’ll be the first and last.” he threatens, but the elder simply
laughs, his chest vibrating against Taehyung’s.
“I can’t promise that… You know that it’s my love language.”
“No, you have many different love languages.” Taehyung corrects, pulling away to look at him
once again. “I also want to ask you something… Can I go out with Jiminie and Hobi after we return
from our date? If that’s ok with you, of course. I know that I’m asking to leave at night, so I’ll
understand if you say no.”
Jungkook tilts his head, looking at him for a few seconds as he tries to process the request, and he
only gets more and more confused as he does. “Why are you asking me?” he can see the hesitation,
and the hint of uncertainty behind Taehyung’s eyes and, somehow, even in the silence, that answers
his question. “Baby, let’s set something straight… Even when, or if, we end up officially dating, I
will never, ever, own you. You don’t have to ask me for permission to go anywhere, at whatever
time of the day… I only ask you to inform me, so that I know that you’re safe, and so that I don’t
worry about your whereabouts.”
“But…”
“No buts.” Jungkook cuts him off, his hand going lower to tap Taehyung’s butt twice — something
that he’s never done before. “Maybe just this one.”
“Stop it…!” Taehyung half-whines. “I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you.” he lifts
Jungkook’s hand back to his hips instead, pouting. “Be serious.”
“I don’t want this to be a serious matter, though.” Jungkook shrugs, kissing his jaw. “I’m not your
owner, I don’t and shouldn’t want to control you in any way. You don’t have to worry about me
allowing you to go wherever you want… I just want to be informed, to be aware.”
“You’re… perfect.”
Jungkook laughs. “Yeah, totally.”
“No, listen, I mean it. Your personality is exactly— You’re the type of guy that everyone wants to
date. How are you so amazing?” Taehyung loosely holds the collar of his shirt, nudging him.
“You’re the perfect partner.”
“I guess that you’re really lucky, then.” he teases.
Taehyung rolls his eyes as he leans into Jungkook’s embrace. “I am.” he whispers, breathing in his
fragrance. It’s calming, reassuring, and it makes his heart jump in his chest. He’s starting to feel
too much, too.
│►
“Give me a kiss…”
“No.” Taehyung quickly denies, stuffing his mouth with popcorn. Jungkook huffs next to him,
obviously upset. “You’re supposed to watch the movie, hyung, not to kiss me…” he argues.
“But that’s boring…” Jungkook states, arm circling Taehyung’s shoulders to pull him even closer.
“This movie is really boring, how are you even watching it when my lips are here…?”
“It’s not boring, you just haven’t watched a single minute of it, that’s why you don’t see why it’s
interesting.” the young man quietly laughs, having to cover his mouth with the sleeve of his
button-up shirt; Jungkook’s heart swoons. “Here, have some popcorn.”
“I don’t want popcorn.” Taehyung frowns. “Alright, maybe one.” he takes it from Taehyung’s hand
when offered, and he munches on it quietly. “I bring you to the cinema and you have the audacity
of actually watching the movie? Unacceptable.”
“Shut it.” Taehyung tries to sound threatening, but fails as soon as their eyes meet. “Watch the
movie first, then we can kiss. No more kisses during the movie.” he states then, final.
“You’re boring.” Jungkook mumbles. “Who watches the movie when they—”
“I’m sorry, could you two shut up?” a girl sitting in the row ahead of them asks, and Taehyung has
to stifle his laugh when he sees Jungkook’s affronted yet surprised expression.
“I’m sorry.” he whispers. “My date is just being rude.”
“Well, fix your homosexual problems elsew—”
“Don’t even fucking finish that shit.” Jungkook straightens up, any hint of playfulness disappearing
from his eyes. “Turn the fuck around and watch your stupid fucking movie, don’t be fucking rude.”
the girl, who looks about Eunjae’s age, quietly turns back around.
“You tell her not to be rude while cursing her out about ten times.” he whispers.
“She can suck my actual gay dick.” Taehyung snorts, covering Jungkook’s mouth; his hand is
gently pried away. “I’ve had enough of homophobic comments, and I won’t fucking tolerate them,
especially when to insult you. On your damn birthday, as well.”
“I appreciate that, but—” there’s a ‘shh’ coming from somewhere else in the room and Jungkook
frowns even more, sulking in his chair. Taehyung just smiles, reaching for his hand as they try to
focus on the movie again. Jungkook has no idea of what’s going on in the movie, but he does his
best to try and start to pick up on the plot.
They manage to stay quiet for a while, Jungkook’s arm still around Taehyung’s shoulders.
The latter turns to him about halfway through the movie, watching Jungkook’s attentive eyes
shining in the dark room, and he can’t look away. He’s insanely handsome, and it’s addictive to
study every single detail on his face; the scar, the curve of his nose, his big eyes.
Still, his favorite thing isn’t Jungkook’s beauty, not when he has the best personality that
Taehyung has ever encountered in his life. No matter how dark his past might be, or how many
demons he still fights daily, he’s still the most mature and respectful person that the blonde has
ever met.
Dirty-mouthed? Yes. A sweetheart? Absolutely.
Taehyung finds himself smiling as he recalls how he was woken up that morning: the kisses, the
song, the pancakes. Jungkook manages to make Taehyung so, s o happy and feel so loved, even
through the smallest gestures. Small things such as kissing, a simple look.
He takes a moment to think about his past three birthdays. He spent those days pretty much by
himself, working. There were no celebrations, nothing special done to him; no gifts. Hyungsik
didn’t even show up to sleep at home two birthdays ago. He hates how his brain compares
Jungkook to Hyungsik, because they’re not the same. Not even similar.
Jungkook is better in every aspect.
Taehyung’s startled when Jungkook turns to face him, feeling the stare. “Do I have something on
my f—” the younger man leans in, connecting their lips. Jungkook’s surprised, but he quickly
kisses back, free hand resting on Taehyung’s cheek. “I was enjoying the movie now.” he whispers
against his lips, pecking them again and again. “Why were you watching me?”
“Just thinking.” they smile at each other. “I’m so happy that I have you…” Taehyung leans closer
to his ear to whisper the next few words for him and him only. “I really like you.”
“I really love you.” Jungkook whispers back, and Taehyung pouts.
“That’s not fair.”
“Nothing’s fair in this life.” he shrugs.
“Are you two serious right now—”
“Sorry.” they say in unison. Then, they giggle. “Just watch it now…”
│►
When the movie ends, they walk out of the auditorium hand in hand as Taehyung laughs at the
glare that Jungkook offered to the girl that had talked to them as soon as the lights turned back on.
“The movie was ok.” Taehyung starts, tugging him by the hand to stop walking once in a quieter
place. “Not that we watched anything, but the little that I was able to pick up on was rather
acceptable.” he comments.
“I honestly didn’t watch shit. Even when I was watching, I wasn’t understanding anything of what
I was seeing.” Taehyung laughs, leaning into Jungkook’s shoulder; the latter circles his waist with
both of his arms. “Are you hungry?” the blonde hums. “There’s a… problem.”
“What is it?” Taehyung pulls away, just enough to speak. Jungkook worries at his bottom lip,
looking hesitant. “You know that you can tell me anything. C’mon, honesty with each other.”
“I know, I know…” Jungkook nods. It’s still hard for him to just be open about things, but he tries
his best with Taehyung. “We’re at the very end of the month, and I’m still getting my shit together
after having such a bad job before… I don’t even know how much I currently have in my bank
account, but it’s definitely not enough to take you to an expensive restaurant, as you deserve. I
don’t—”
“McDonald’s isn’t expensive.” Taehyung interrupts with a smile. “You know that you don’t have
to take me to fancy, expensive places. Honestly, I’ve loved our day so far. A lovely morning
cuddling you, cheap ramen on the couch, a movie that we didn’t even watch… You can just take
me to a burger place or something… and I can pay, too.”
“It’s your birthday, you’re not supposed to pay.” Jungkook sighs. “It’s upsetting. I want to treat you
and— and to take you to nice places…” he whispers, gently removing the hair out of Taehyung’s
forehead.
“Your company is way more than enough. I like you for you, I don’t care about where we’re going
or what we’re eating. Just take me somewhere that you can afford right now without becoming
uncomfortable for the remaining days of this month. As long as you’re there with me, I’ll enjoy it
very, very much.”
Jungkook gives him a weak smile. “I promise you, if I ever become someone who can actually
afford shit, I will treat you to the best, most expensive places.” he leans in. “I’ll take you out all the
time… To those restaurants with dimmed lights, candles… live music…”
“That’s alright if it’s something that you’d want to do, but I don’t need any of that to be happy.”
Taehyung kisses his jaw. “You’re all that I need. No candles, no dimmed lights.”
“Are you sure?”
“A hundred percent.” Taehyung links their hands. “Now, let’s go, I’m hungry.”
Jungkook smiles, more relaxed. “You’re telling me…”
│►
“...I’m just saying that it sounds pretentious.” Jungkook says as he takes a fry to his mouth, and
Taehyung tilts his head. “Rich people complaining about being rich. I don’t get it.”
“It sucks, in a way.” Taehyung starts. “I won’t lie and say that it’s not good when we’re able to get
what we want without thinking too much about it, or to buy things without looking at the price tag
sometimes… The guilt and insecurities that come with it, though, aren’t fun.”
“What do you mean?” Jungkook asks. “Do explain, because it’s something that I was never
blessed with, so I don’t really understand that side of things.”
“The majority of the people who get close to you, don’t actually want to be close to you, they just
want your money or gifts. You get used to it after a while, to people wanting to take and take from
you, and… and you start thinking that you have to give and give to make people stay in your life.”
he tries to explain as well as he can.
“I’ve never thought of it that way, to be honest.” Jungkook admits. “But it’s… it doesn’t sound like
an actual problem. I mean, okay, you’re sad, but you’re sad in a mansion. You’re crying in a
Mercedes Benz…” Taehyung laughs at that; the sound makes him smile.
“I won’t say that everyone feels the same way as I did, some may actually just be pretentious as
you said. As for me… I used to be really paranoid about people abandoning me because of it. I felt
guilty whenever someone complained about not being able to afford stuff, so I’d feel obligated to
take care of it. I’ve spent a lot of money on people that didn’t deserve it.”
Jungkook furrows his brows. “I hope that you’ve never felt that with me.”
“In the beginning, I was a little taken aback by the way that you didn’t want anything from me, by
the way that you hated when I even offered help. Hyungsik had money, and he still took everything
that he could from me. You, on the other hand, you’re so honest, so simple… in a good way. I’ve
never felt like I had to buy you anything for you to stay.”
“Good. Now, with that being said, there’s this car that I saw…” Jungkook starts, trying to remain
serious, but he quickly fails when Taehyung laughs.
“Stop teasing me—!”
“I physically can’t. I just want to see you smiling and laughing… being happy. Sometimes we get
into serious and sad shit, and I don’t want you to be sad, I can’t stand it, that’s why I make jokes
during serious moments.” Jungkook shrugs. “I want you to know that I don’t want anything from
you, other than your support and attention. Your love, too, but we’ll get there.”
“Yes, we will.” Taehyung whispers, reaching for his hand on top of the table, and Jungkook feels
something bloom in his chest at the implication. “This is the best date that I’ve ever had in my life.
I’ve gone on a lot of dates before, but this is my favorite by far.”
“I took you to a movie that I didn’t even let you watch, and we’re eating cheap burgers and fries.
Fries that I’m stealing when you’re not looking, if I may add.” the blonde giggles. “It’s nothing
special.” Jungkook scratches the back of his neck. “I’m sure that you’ve had better.”
“You think too low of yourself.” he sighs. “This is the best date, period. No one has ever made me
feel this happy, or treated me this well. Give yourself some credit, please.”
“Don’t say shit like that, it makes me want to cry.”
“Why…?” Jungkook shifts his attention to the food, sheepish.
“Because how can someone like me… make you happy? I’m just me.”
Taehyung smiles. “That’s exactly how.” Jungkook looks up at him again. “They couldn’t make me
this happy, because they weren’t you, hyung.” he whispers. “But you’re you.”
Jungkook’s eyes light up. “Fuck, I’m so gone for you.”
│►
Taehyung applies the lip gloss with careful dabs of his finger, humming to a random song that he’s
heard playing in the diner where they ate dinner. He never wears makeup, not anymore, at least.
Hyungsik used to make sure that he knew just how unattractive it made him, so he stopped wearing
it. Not that he used to wear a lot, but some shadow and lip gloss on a night out were never bad for
anyone.
Tonight, he decided to apply some black shadow to his eyes, which contrasts well with his light
hair color and fits nicely with the black outfit that he’s picked for a club night with his best friends.
“Jimin has a—” Jungkook stops when he enters the room. “What the fuck—?” Taehyung meets his
eyes through the mirror, but he’s unable to decipher what the elder’s expression means, which
makes him start believing that Jungkook might just hate the makeup as much as Hyungsik used to.
However, “You look— Fuck me, you’re so pretty.”
“Thank you…” he looks down with a shy smile. “I haven’t worn makeup in ages, so I’m a little
stiff…”
“I think that it looks amazing.” Jungkook praises as he walks closer to wrap his arms around
Taehyung’s waist to hug him from the back. “I just wanted to let you know—” he presses a kiss to
the younger’s neck. “—that Jimin has arrived. They called me, since you didn’t reply to their
texts.” he informs.
Taehyung looks down at his phone. “I left it on silent so that it wouldn’t disturb our date.” he
explains as he studies his own reflection one last time. “Do you want to tag along?”
“You’ve asked me that ten times already.” Jungkook chuckles. “I’m not a crowds person, and I
don’t want to go to a place filled with booze… I’m ok here by myself, you don’t have to worry. I
want you to have fun with them tonight.” he says, words low and right by his ear, before kissing it.
“Alright… I should get going, then.” Taehyung turns around in his arms. Jungkook leans in, but he
quickly leans away. “You’ll mess up my gloss. No kisses for you.”
Jungkook seems to not care for the lip gloss in the slightest, given that he ends the space between
them for a quick peck. Then, he licks his lips. “Hm.” he raises an eyebrow. “Is the gloss peach-
flavored?”
“How did you guess?”

“I like peach-flavored things… and it tastes like my favorite lube.” Taehyung’s eyes widen, cheeks
reddening right away. “Just kidding.” Jungkook grins. “Or am I…?” he tilts his head, positively
loving the reactions that he’s able to get from the younger man as they slowly but surely start to
get more comfortable with each other. “Now, shall I compare that peach to the other peach in the
room?”
Taehyung gasps when a hand slaps his butt, giving it a little squeeze.
Jungkook snorts. “I’m sorry, I—”
“You’re gross, and I’m leaving.” Taehyung steps away, grabbing his phone as Jungkook wheezes
and follows him to the now open front door.
“Babe— I’m sorry, I really try to hold in my perverted humor, that just came out.” Jungkook holds
onto his forearm, pulling him right back into his arms. “I’m sorry, I didn’t—” he tries, he really
does, but he ends up snorting again as he remembers the look in Taehyung’s eyes. “Don’t be mad at
me, my love, I didn’t mean to slap your… peach.” he tries. “You look adorable when you blush, let
me say that much.”
“I’m embarrassed!” Taehyung nudges him by the shoulder. “You didn’t just slap it, you said that
you’d try the— the peach.” Jungkook wheezes once again, his body bending forward. “I can’t
believe that you’re laughing while my face feels like it’ll burst if it gets any hotter.”
“I’d very much like to taste the peach, yes.” he manages to say between his laughter.
“What—”
“Jesus, how long must we wait for you?” they both turn away from each other when Jimin speaks,
just then finishing climbing the stairs. “Hey, hyung.” he waves.
“Hey, Jimin.” Jungkook greets back, pulling himself together. “Keep him safe, or else.”
“Yes, sir.” Jimin salutes him. “He’ll be safe, but we’re making sure that Tae drinks tonight, so be
ready for that when he gets back home tonight… We’re not taking a no for an answer.”
Jungkook’s and Taehyung’s eyes meet.
Oh, boy.
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 58 │►
Chapter Notes
Jungkook sits up when his eyes threaten to close, and loosely hugs his knees. He can’t fall asleep
without Taehyung unless he wants to have a nightmare, so he’s been waiting for his return for a
few hours now. He’s been dealing with too much, and he has no idea of how he’d react to a
nightmare right now.
His eyes move to his phone when it starts ringing, and smiles at Taehyung’s name on the screen.
He quickly reaches for it, picking up with a mixture of concern. Why is Taehyung calling, after
all? Is he alright? Is he safe?
“Hey, Tae.” he speaks, surprised to hear a giggle on the other side.
“Can you come here and open the door…?” Taehyung requests, words dragged and voice
uncharacteristically high. “I can’t— I can’t find my house keys, they might be with…” and what he
says after isn’t comprehensive.
“Are you—” Jungkook chuckles. “Are you drunk, my love?”
“No…!” Taehyung drags out again, and Jungkook just jogs to the front door to open it; the younger
man almost falls backwards on him as he was leaning against the wood, but Jungkook catches him
just in time. “Hi, hyungie…”
“You’re very drunk, baby.” Jungkook notes with an amused little smile. “Did you—” he stops as
two arms circle around him, followed by Taehyung’s lips pecking his neck repeatedly and
everywhere that he can reach. “Huh.”
“You smell so good…” Taehyung slurs. “Always— so good.” Jungkook blinks when Taehyung’s
hands start to feel up his upper body, rubbing at his stomach for a little longer. “You have—
muscles, so many, so hot. It’s hot.” he babbles.
“Thank you.” Jungkook laughs. “Now, let’s get you to bed, c’mon.” he tries to lead the younger
man towards their shared bedroom, but Taehyung whines, unmoving. “What’s wrong? Why aren’t
you coming with me?”
“No, no sleep…” he says, and Jungkook lets out a mixture of a hiss and a surprised moan when a
hand finds its way inside his sweatpants, touching him where he’s the most sensitive. Jungkook
immediately grabs Taehyung’s wrist.
“That’s it, you’re going to bed.” he says, tone final, as he pulls Taehyung’s hand out of his pants
and steps away.
“But I don’t want to…” Jungkook cups his cheeks, thumbs caressing his skin ever so softly.
“Hyungie.”
“Don’t try to ‘hyungie’ me right now.” Taehyung pouts. “We are going to get you in bed, alright?”
Jungkook says, as softly as possible. Taehyung can’t make himself do anything other than linking
their hands and follow after the older man.
Jungkook helps him to get to the bed after getting rid of his jacket and shoes, not even attempting
to change Taehyung’s clothes given his questionable mood. He lays him down, covers him up
properly with the sheets.
“Sleep, c’mon.” Jungkook lays beside him so that Taehyung can fall asleep faster, but the latter
doesn’t even close his eyes. “Don’t be bratty, baby.” he chuckles, using two fingers to carefully
close Taehyung’s eyelids. “Sleep.”
“I don’t want to sleep…!” Jungkook blinks, positively confused and surprised when Taehyung
moves to straddle his lap, one knee on each side of his hips. Taehyung pouts, hands flat on
Jungkook’s stomach.
“When I said that I wanted to try the peach, I didn’t think that you’d take it so seriously.”
Taehyung laughs. “Tae, I have work in the morning, and it’s already late as fuck. Can you please
just— lay down and sleep?” Jungkook requests, but Taehyung shakes his head while playing with
the strings of the elder’s sweatpants. “I don’t know for sure what you’re trying to achieve, but
you’re drunk, and I won’t respond to any of this.”
Taehyung pulls the strings, opening his sweatpants.
“Alright, stay there if you want to. I’m going to sleep. I know that you don’t have work for a few
more days, but I have rent to pay and can’t miss work. Goodnight.” he closes his eyes, just about
ignoring the younger man sitting on his lap.
“Your owner is so mean.” he hears Taehyung whispering, and he guesses that he’s talking to
Moon. Taehyung remains quiet for a while, unsure of what he himself wants to achieve, but he’s in
the mood to just… do something. He doesn’t know what exactly, but he wants Jungkook’s
attention solely on him right now.
Jungkook opens his eyes when his shirt is lifted up to his chest, and watches as the other pokes
each little square of muscle with one slender finger. “That’s it.” he holds Taehyung’s wrists, pulling
him back down onto the mattress. Taehyung laughs, bubbly. “Sleep.”
“Why are you— Do you find me unattractive?”
“Not for a second. You’re the most attractive, most beautiful person I’ve ever laid my eyes on.
However, you’re very drunk.” Jungkook kisses his cheek. “Sleep, alright?” but Taehyung kisses
him, lips fitting against his own perfectly.
Jungkook huffs into it, annoyed at himself for not being able to just not kiss back when he loves
Taehyung’s lips so much.
After about a minute of enjoying each other’s lips, he pulls back. “Enough. Sleep now, alright?”
Taehyung shakes his head, pulling off the biggest puppy eyes and pout that he can. “What’s
wrong? What do you want, Tae?” he asks.
“Touch.” he says, hiccupping. His cheeks are red from the number of drinks he’s had, and his
words don’t seem to stop coming out slurred and dragged.
“We can cuddle, if you sleep.” Jungkook smiles.
“No…!” Taehyung protests, and the older man sighs.
“Tae, you’re drunk, and I don’t feel right just— even kissing you like this seems wrong. Please,
just sleep, okay?” Jungkook says, tone softer. “I love you so much, and you’re really cute and
attractive and all of it, don’t doubt that I’d be extremely pleased to have my hands on you, but not
like this. I’m not going to do anything like this. Especially when I know that you don’t want it.”
Taehyung opens his mouth to argue again, but Jungkook presses a finger to his lips. “Let’s sleep
this off, just sleep. If you’re still up to it in the morning, then we’ll talk.” Jungkook offers, because
he knows that Taehyung won’t be like this in a few hours.
“Okay.” Taehyung finally agrees, laying his head on Jungkook’s chest. “I feel sick…”
“Do you want to puke? I’ll take you to the bathroom.”
“No, no, just tired…”
“That’s good. Close your eyes, my love…” Jungkook whispers, combing through Taehyung’s hair.
“I love you. Sleep well, birthday boy.” Taehyung giggles as a little kiss is pressed to his forehead,
and Jungkook chuckles to himself. “This will be fun to recall tomorrow morning.”
Taehyung just hums, already giving in to sleep. He falls asleep almost immediately with
Jungkook’s fingers caressing his scalp and soft kisses by his ear. Jungkook waits until he’s sure
that Taehyung’s asleep before he carefully pulls away, getting up from the bed to get a pack of
makeup wipes.
Luckily, Taehyung’s sleeping on his back, and so Jungkook’s able to diligently remove every trace
of makeup from his face, albeit careful not to wake him up. He knows just how bad it is to fall
asleep with makeup on, and he knows that Taehyung would be upset if he woke up with everything
smudged all over his face.
Jungkook then picks a nice set of pajamas, thinking it through; he wants Taehyung to sleep
comfortably, but doesn’t know whether he can just undress him like that. They’re working on
building a relationship, but they’ve never even talked about doing anything physical. He knows
how shy and conscious Taehyung can get when it comes to those things, and he really doesn’t want
to disrespect him or invade his privacy.
After debating on it for almost two minutes, he decides that he’s not nearly mean enough to let him
sleep in his outside clothes, and works carefully and slowly to undress him, all the while making
sure not to wake him up from his slumber. He tries not to touch him more than necessary, doesn’t
even let himself look despite wanting to appreciate every single inch of that tan, smooth skin. He
does everything as respectfully as he possibly can.
Once done, he kisses Taehyung’s cheek. “Sleep tight, peach.”
│►
Taehyung groans as he steps inside the kitchen; Jungkook’s sitting with his front facing him, and
the latter lifts his head as soon as he catches the movement in the corner of his eyes. He can’t help
but to chuckle at just how dead Taehyung looks, and pushes a glass with water and a box of pills
towards him on the table.
“Take one.” Jungkook indicates. “You look… regretful.” he comments.
Taehyung’s hair is all over the place, his shirt half-unbuttoned from moving in his sleep. “I hate
everything and everyone right now. Except you.” Taehyung’s voice sounds ten times deeper, and
he drags himself towards the table to take the hangover pill.
“Would you like to know what you did last night?” Jungkook asks with an amused look in his eyes,
before sipping from his coffee.
Taehyung tilts his head. “Did I do something stupid?”
“That’s a euphemism.” Jungkook chuckles. “You were… actually trying to give me the peach.” is
the approach that he decides to take, and Taehyung chokes on his own spit, coughing a few times.
“Are you alright?” he asks with a laugh, getting up to get their toasts ready once he hears them pop
out of the toaster.
“What did I do?” Taehyung asks, alarmed.
“You kept kissing my neck the moment that you came in, and you were being extremely touchy.
You also kept feeling up my muscles and even opened my sweatpants.” Jungkook explains, his
back towards the younger man as he spreads a nice amount of butter on each slice of bread. “Oh, I
can’t forget to mention that you then proceeded to put your hand inside them, like, legit grabbed
my—”
“Did we do something?” Taehyung asks with a quiet tone.
“Like what?”
“You know…” he gulps.
“I’m not familiar with what you’re trying to imply.” Jungkook teases, trying not to laugh at how
adorable he finds Taehyung when he’s embarrassed.
“You know what I mean—!” Taehyung whines, which he immediately regrets as it makes his head
sting. Jungkook turns to him with an eyebrow raised and a questioning look in his eyes that lets
Taehyung know that he’ll have to say it. “Did we… go any further than me opening your
sweatpants and feeling up your muscles?”
“Are you asking me if we had sex?”
Taehyung’s cheeks turn impossibly redder. “I suppose, yes.”
“No, we did not.” Jungkook informs. “However, I’m pretty sure that you were trying to.” he adds,
and Taehyung has to cover his face with his hands, missing the way that Jungkook’s smile slowly
falls. “Do you… Do you think that I’d do anything to you in that state?” he asks.
“Hyungsik wouldn’t think twice.” the expression that takes over Jungkook’s face breaks his heart.
“I know that you’re not him, you’re nothing like him, please, don’t get me wrong.”
“You came home touchy, and kept pushing it and asking for things that you couldn’t even properly
word. The opportunity was obviously there, but you were extremely drunk, and my only focus and
goal was to get you in bed to sleep. Nothing else.” Jungkook explains. “I removed your makeup
once you fell asleep, and changed you into your pajamas while feeling horrible for undressing you
while you were sleeping. That’s what happened. Nothing else.”
“I’m sorry.” Taehyung whispers. “I’m sorry. I know that you’d never do anything, I’m so sorry for
even— I’m sorry, hyung.” Jungkook half-smiles, taking the toasts to the table.
“It’s okay.” he kisses Taehyung’s forehead. “What’s not ok is the knot that you tied on the string of
my sweatpants when you opened them. I cannot, for the life of me, untie it, I’m probably going to
have to cut it.” Jungkook complains, showing it to him.
“I’m never looking you in the eyes again.” Taehyung whines, laying his forehead against the table.
“I’ve embarrassed myself enough for a lifetime.” Jungkook laughs. “What—?”
“It was entertaining, seeing you like that. You’re usually so shy at the mention of anything
remotely sexual… It was funny.” he shrugs, taking another sip from his coffee.
Taehyung rubs his eyes with a pout. “Sex is so overrated, I don’t understand what got over me last
night. It was for sure the drinks, because wanting it doesn’t sound like me… at all.”
“What? Overrated? Why do you think that?” Jungkook blinks. “Sex is great. Most people say that,
if you love the other person, then it’s even better… While I’ve never experienced it to that level, I
do believe that it might be true. Why do you think so low of it?”
The younger man looks down. “Hyungsik was the only partner that I had…”
Jungkook nods, ever so slowly, considering his next words. “My love, I’ve been thinking about
something, and I don’t think that there will ever be a better moment to bring it up.” he starts,
getting Taehyung’s attention back. “I believe that you should start seeing a therapist.”
“But I have you—”
“No, no. You may be able to talk to me about things, but I have no degree in it like you do. I have
you, but you have no one specialized in the field to vent to about your problems and concerns. Shit
has scarred you for life, and you should be able to get help, too.”
Taehyung takes a second. “Do you think so?” Jungkook nods. “Alright. I’ll talk to Namjoon to see
when we can schedule something.” he says with a smile.
“Oh.” the elder blinks, surprised. That was easy. “Yeah, okay, that’s great.” he smiles. “When you
think of physical intimacy, your brain shouldn’t automatically make you relive moments with
someone who has hurt you so badly, but it will continue happening unless we do something about
it. Therapy has helped me a lot, and it will help you as well.”
“I’ll talk to Namjoon, hyung. Thank you for suggesting it.”
“Thank you for wanting to try it.” he reaches for Taehyung’s hand, kissing his knuckles. “Now that
we’ve got that out of the way… Did you have fun with them last night?” Jungkook asks with a
smile. “Hangover aside, of course.”
“Yeah, it was fun.” Taehyung replies in a small voice, his eyes focused on his coffee mug.
Jungkook knows him too well. “What’s wrong?” the blonde just shrugs. “You can tell me, love,
what is it?” he encourages.
“I just… I feel weird knowing that I acted that way last night. I don’t know why that happened, but
—” Taehyung worries at his bottom lip, but Jungkook can tell that he’s not done yet, so he waits. “I
trust you with my life, and I care so, so much about you, but I’m not ready for… that.” he admits,
rubbing his eyes with his free hand.
“Baby, look at me.” and Taehyung does, because Jungkook’s eyes bring him a sense of comfort
that he’s never known before. “Let me start by saying that, as far as I’m concerned, we’ll never do
anything unless we’re both mentally there: sober, and aware of every single thing that we’re
doing.” he starts, caressing the back of Taehyung’s hand. “Secondly… I know that you’re not
ready, you don’t have to tell me. That’s why I’ve never brought up any of this, and I only talked
about it today because last night was funny.”
“I’m sorry, I’m probably overreacting.”

“No, you’re not. You told me yourself that everyone deals with things in their own ways, you need
to start listening to your own advice.” Jungkook follows Taehyung with his eyes when the latter
gets up, only to circle the table to sit on his lap to hug him. Jungkook smiles. “It’s ok, love. We
don’t even have to talk about this… I know that you’re not ready, and that’s not an issue. I can read
you well, you don’t have to say it.”
“Thank you.” Taehyung whispers. “I don’t even know what I’m thanking you for… Everything,
really.” he sighs, hugging him tighter. “You’re amazing.”
“Let’s not get all sad, alright? Our morning was starting off well, and yesterday was a good day…
Let’s keep the good mood.” he tries, tone light, as he caresses up and down Taehyung’s back.
“Let’s enjoy our breakfast before I have to go to work.”
“Can I go with you? I like the pastries that you guys sell there…” Taehyung asks, a little hesitant.
Hyungsik never allowed him anywhere near his working place.
“Yeah, of course, you can.” Jungkook kisses his forehead, his arms still around Taehyung’s waist.
“We don’t open as soon as we get there, so you can hang out with Jae and me for a bit, if you’d
like. She’s… very invested in our relationship.”
Taehyung giggles. “That, she is.”
│►
Taehyung parks the car on the first empty spot that he finds, eyes widening with realization as he
remembers something. “Hyung, what do you want for New Year’s?” he asks, pausing when he
goes to open his door. “It’s tomorrow, so I have limited time to find you something… Don’t ask me
for something too overboard.”
Jungkook looks away from the seatbelt that he was just about to unbuckle, and furrows his
eyebrows with visible confusion. “Sorry?” he tries to process it, but quickly realizes that he heard it
right. “Who the fuck gives presents on New Year’s?!”
Taehyung tilts his head. “You don’t?”
“No one does.” Jungkook chuckles, a little shocked. “Tae, sweets, has anyone ever given you
anything back as a gift for New Year’s?”
Taehyung puckers his lips. “Not really, no…” Jungkook laughs. “Anyway, what would you like
me to get you?”
“Please, this isn’t a thing.” he snorts yet again, unable to keep himself from laughing at the
silliness of the whole idea. “C’mon, you can’t be serious right now. Are you shitting me?”
“No, I’m serious. Pick something or I’m getting you another cat.” Jungkook’s smile drops in a
second, turning serious. “Or two… Two cats, since you like them so much.” Taehyung smiles,
getting out of the car at last; Jungkook follows in a hurry.
“If you get me a cat, I’m honestly moving out.” he threatens.
“Then, if you want a roof over your head, tell me what gift you’d like to get.” the younger man
shrugs as they walk towards the coffee shop. “I want to buy you something, and you can’t just say
no to that…”
Jungkook squints as he pushes the door to open it. “I want a pink dildo, then.” he says, shamelessly
so, and Taehyung chokes on his spit.
Eunjae looks up from the table that she was just starting to wipe, an eyebrow raised. “I have one
that vibrates, I can tell you where I got it from.” she suggests. “It’s really good.”
“I don’t actually want one, but thank you.” Jungkook chuckles. “Tae wants to give me a gift for
New Year’s, and I can’t take it seriously.” he shares, gesturing towards the younger male whose
cheeks are still stained a bright red color.
“Huh? Is that a thing?” his coworker asks with a clueless frown, and Jungkook immediately denies
it with a laugh. “Well, if Taehyung wants to give you something, then you can just take his
traditions seriously. If not a dildo, would you like to get some lingerie? I can recommend you good
stores, with good prices and quality.”
“I’ve never been the one to cross-dress, but again, thank you.” Jungkook shrugs, though he slowly
turns to the blonde man with mischief in his eyes. “I mean, that’d be a nice surprise,
nonetheless…” he comments, eyes roaming Taehyung’s body unashamedly as his mind creates the
most unholy images; he can’t help it.
“You’re unhinged—”
“Tae can just get your name tattooed on his butt cheek.” Eunjae suggests.
Jungkook hums, trying not to coo at how hard Taehyung’s blushing. “That’s also a very good
idea.” he nods, appreciative, and Taehyung looks at him with something close to betrayal in his
eyes that only entertains Jungkook even more.
“Oh, you could just pay for Jungkook to tattoo my face on his chest.”
“Absolutely not.”
Taehyung’s eyes just shift between the two. “Get mine, then.” he decides to join the joke.
“No, yours is too perfect to be copied into a tattoo, love.” Jungkook compliments, cupping his
cheek with a love-sick smile.
Eunjae makes a loud puking sound, bending over until her hands are resting on her knees,
exaggerating as much as possible. “Gosh.” she complains. Taehyung giggles, hand resting on
Jungkook’s lower back when the latter hugs him with just one arm. “He’s going to regret agreeing
to be your boyfriend if you keep this cringy behavior up.”
Taehyung pulls away, unconsciously, blushing. “We’re— We’re not dating.”
“I like the sound of that, though.” Jungkook holds him in place.
“Come with me.”
“Wh—” he lets out a surprised noise when Taehyung starts dragging him by the hand until they’re
outside again. “What’s wrong, my love?”
“You’re teaming up with her against me—!” Taehyung pouts, fisting the front of Jungkook’s shirt.
“If my cheeks heat up any more, I’m going to combust. Stop teasing me.”
“But you’re adorable… and it’s funny.” Jungkook smiles, kissing his forehead. “We both like you
so much, it’s entertaining to see you like this… You know that we’re just taking the piss.”
Taehyung’s frown softens at the explanation. “But, hyung…” the elder waits, letting him join their
lips in a small peck before Taehyung goes on. “You still haven’t told me what you want for your
gift. I’ll legit get you a cat if you don’t give me an idea of what to offer.”
“Jesus Christ—”
│►
Jungkook looks around to make sure that there’s no one that he knows nearby before placing the
alcohol bottles on the grocery store’s conveyor belt, and he feels insanely guilty for doing so.
Alongside the bottles, he adds a few snacks that he’ll use to hide the contents of the bag lest
Taehyung see him getting home.
“Are you throwing a party?” the woman asks as she starts scanning the items. He understands why
she’d think so, but it’s beyond embarrassing how incorrect she is. He’s not having a party, nor does
he have anything to celebrate.
“You could say so.” he lies. “I’m uhm, stocking up for… New Year’s.”
“You come here a lot, young man.” she smiles, scanning yet another bottle of the cheapest
whiskey. “You party very often, I’ve noticed.” God, Jungkook wants to run out of the store as fast
as possible. “Are you in college?”
He closes his eyes with a sigh. There’s no way around the topic, and he’s not about to share the
horrid truth with a complete stranger. So, lying is the easiest way to go about it. “Yeah, I am.” is
what he says. “You know… college boys.” he adds, helping her put everything inside the bag so
that it’s faster.
“Just don’t do it too often. Drinking isn’t good for your health.”
“Yeah.” he looks away. “I know, don’t worry.”
│►
Jungkook meets Taehyung’s eyes as soon as he opens the door, so he does his best to keep the bag
away from his field of vision. “Hey, my love.” he greets with a smile, glad that he was smart
enough to fill up the bag with other snacks, otherwise he’d be in trouble now.
“Sit down, hyungie.” Taehyung pats the couch, laptop on the low coffee table.
The elder steps closer, chuckling when he’s able to read the name of a tattoo parlor on the screen.
“Are you actually tattooing my name on your ass cheek?” he asks, only to laugh at the offended
yet shy expression that replaces Taehyung’s smile. “Let me just put this in the kitchen, I’ll be right
back…” he makes sure to kiss Taehyung’s forehead before turning around on his heels to walk
away to the kitchen.
He hides every single bottle as quickly as he can, storing the snacks neatly in the cabinets.
Then, he returns, sitting right next to the blonde man. “What is it?” he leans closer for a greeting
little kiss that leaves Taehyung smiling.
“What if this was your gift? You seemed to like the idea…”
“I’d love to get tattoos, I’d look really fucking cool, but it’d be impossible for me to find a job if I
had them. A man that has been to prison and has tattoos? I’d be done for.”
“Oh.” Taehyung pouts, looking between him and the screen. “You might be right, but maybe we
can choose somewhere where it wouldn’t be as visible…” he tries, eyeing Jungkook’s body before
taking a hand to his upper arm. “Right here, for instance.” he squeezes his bicep.
“Come with me.” Jungkook gets up, offering his hand. Taehyung takes it, following him to the
bedroom with Moon right on their heels. Jungkook then kneels next to the bed so that he can pull a
box from under it; it’s a box filled with papers that Taehyung has never dared to go through, and he
watches as he pulls one of the sheets from the pile.
Jungkook hands it over. It’s a drawing, and a really good one at that, of a wolf. It’s detailed, well
shaded, and he can’t find a single flaw other than a pink line right in the middle. It’s not supposed
to be there, he can tell.
“I drew that for school many years ago.” Jungkook informs.
“You drew this?! You’re so talented, God, you’re good at everything.” he praises, inspecting the
drawing a little better. “It’s perfect, really. You’re amazing.”
“Thank you…” Jungkook wraps his arms sideways around Taehyung’s waist, keeping him close.
“It was basically done when Mya thought that it’d be funny to drag one of her pencils across the
drawing… That’s why there’s a pink line.” he chuckles, nostalgic. “I remember that I got really
angry at her, which never happened, and I told her how she ruined the whole thing. I drew
something else, I couldn’t turn that one in.”
“Are you thinking of getting this?”
“Yeah. With the line, though.”
“Are you sure? People will think that the artist messed up or something.”
Jungkook sighs. “I don’t care about what people think, Tae. I don’t have anything left from them,
this is the last thing. This, and the necklace that you’re wearing. I know that the necklace is safe,
but what if this gets ruined like the picture that Moon ate? I have to find ways to keep the last
memories close to my heart.”
“If you’re sure about it, hyung, then you’ll look very attractive with a new tattoo.” Taehyung
smiles. “About the picture, though… You’ve never told me what it was… Was it them?” the elder
only nods. “Surely someone has a copy of it.”
“If anyone would have a copy, it would be my mom and, yeah, she’s gone. The picture is gone.” he
looks down. “I’m scared that I might end up forgetting their faces. I told you that at the park, and
it’s becoming my biggest fear. Their tombstones have their pictures, but I—” he stops himself,
gulps.
“You don’t visit them…” Taehyung finishes for him. “Why not?”
“I’ve never visited their graves. I can’t bring myself to do it, I’d never be able to handle that on my
own. It’s too much…” he admits, voice quiet.
“I can go with you, Kook. Whenever and if you’d like me to.” Taehyung reassures as he gently
lifts Jungkook’s head up to meet his eyes. “Alright?” he smiles, genuine.
“Thank you.” Jungkook whispers, eyes closing while resting their foreheads together. “I didn’t
mean to get the mood this sad, I’m sorry. Let’s talk about you tattooing my name on your ass
instead…”
Taehyung’s jaw slacks. “I’m not—!”
“Oh, c’mon, that’d be such a good gift.”
“I’m seriously getting you a cat if you don’t stop.” he threatens, jokingly.
“My lips are sealed.”
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let’s discuss...
◄│ 59 │►
Chapter Notes
“Thank you for agreeing to see me on such a short notice… the clinic isn’t even open yet, so you
really didn’t have to do this.” Taehyung smiles, grateful, as the waitress leaves after placing the
coffees in front of them. He uses his mug to warm up his palms, feeling cozy.
“I didn’t have plans for today, so it’s really alright. Besides, you’re my friend and colleague and, if
you need me, I’ll be here.” Namjoon smiles, putting his glasses on as he opens his notepad. “I
didn’t think that you’d be free today… Most people celebrate New Year’s.”
“I’ll be meeting with friends after we’re done here, actually.” Taehyung shares. “You really don’t
have any plans? No one should be alone during holidays… You can tag along, if you’d like. My
friends are very accepting and welcoming.” he invites with a smile.
“Oh, I’d be a bother. No, I can’t accept that… My family and friends are back home, and I haven’t
made many friends here yet, that’s all.” Namjoon explains. “I don’t want to intrude on your
friends’ gathering.”
“You wouldn’t be intruding, I’m inviting you.” Taehyung insists. “I won’t be able to enjoy myself
tonight knowing that you’re somewhere spending the last minutes of the year by yourself. Please,
tag along.”
Namjoon chuckles, nodding. “I suppose that it wouldn’t hurt.” the other’s lips stretch into an easy
smile. “Now, let’s focus on what brings us here. Tell me about what’s been bothering you… You
told me on the phone that there are some issues that you want to move past and think that talking
them out will help, so you can start.”
“This may come off as a surprise since you don’t know why Hyungsik and I broke up, but he uhm,
he was really abusive. He’d hit me and sexually assault me pretty much daily, and— yeah, all sorts
of manipulative tactics. He also cheated on me countless times…” Namjoon’s face falls, as he
looks absolutely horrified, but has to school himself back into his professional state. “I didn’t see it,
that’s why I was so genuinely happy. I didn’t see it until I met Jungkook.”
“This is a lot to take in…” Namjoon looks down at his notes, recomposing himself. “Correct me if
I’m wrong, but Jungkook the patient, right?” Taehyung nods. “Alright, go on.” he gestures, quickly
writing down his notes.
“We’re living together, as I told you, and… he uh…” Taehyung bites down on his bottom lip,
trying not to smile too much. “I don’t remember whether I told you about this or not, but we spent
Christmas together. We went to my parents’ house back in Daegu, and he confessed at midnight…”
Namjoon’s eyes widen. “We’re kind of dating, but also not really.”
“This is incredibly shocking, to be honest. I remember the day that you passed him to me and he
showed up completely drunk to the clinic… Look at how far you two have come. Who would’ve
thought.” he comments with a smile. “Are you happy with him?”
“I’m so happy with him, Joon. So freaking happy.” Taehyung’s shoulders fall; he just feels too
much whenever he thinks about Jungkook. “He’s my best friend, and he’s just so amazing. I swear
to God, I’ve never met anyone quite like him. He’s so supportive, but he doesn’t just say what I
want to hear… I don’t know how I’d be right now if it hadn’t been him. Even if, by some miracle,
I had still separated from Hyungsik, I have no idea of how I would’ve dealt with that without
Jungkook taking me in. No one would’ve handled it the way that he did.”
“Does he know that you feel this way about him? Does he know that you’re this thankful?”
“Yes, he does. We’re very honest and open about our emotions and thoughts.” Namjoon nods,
writing something else down. “He’s just the best support that I’ve ever had. I love my friends, and
I love my family, but… seriously, Jungkook means so much to me.”
“I can sense a ‘but’ coming.” Namjoon sips from his coffee. “What’s the ‘but’?”
“Hyungsik left a mark too deep to go away this fast and easy…” Taehyung looks down. “The
connection that I have with Jungkook is really strong. Emotionally, I mean, but I still— God, how
do I explain this. So, we haven’t gone further than just kissing, but I’m obviously very attracted to
him. Jungkook’s insanely handsome and attractive, but when I think about intimacy like that, the
only thing that comes to my mind is Hyungsik and how poorly he used to treat me… You know?”
“You deal with this daily with other patients, so you know how tough it is to forget someone who
has abused you. Either physically or mentally. In your case, both, so it’s only normal that this is
happening. You must trust Jungkook to work this out with you. Work as slowly and delicately as
necessary to break that barrier when you get more… physical.”
“I trust him. I trust him so much, and I care so much for him that it makes me angry that someone
that disgusting pops up at moments when I should be focusing on the amazing man that I have next
to me, literally in love with me. Especially when I know that Jungkook is nothing like him.
Nothing at all. They don’t have a single thing in common, personality wise.”
“You acknowledge it, which is an important first step to take. Acknowledging your problems so
that you can work on them and on getting better is the starting point. Jungkook’s aware of all of the
issues that you had with Hyungsik, isn’t he?” Taehyung nods. “And does he know that you’re
feeling this way?”
“He does. He said that it’s normal, and that me not being ready is more than ok, which is so
amazing of him. He does his best to understand me and to be respectful… He then suggested that I
should start seeing you, thus my call.”
“Jungkook suggested these consultations?” Taehyung nods with a smile. “He’s a good man.”
“He really is.” he has to push down the will to just start ranting about Jungkook again. “Oh, by the
way, please keep the secret later on today. No one knows about us yet.” he giggles. “We agreed to
keep it to ourselves until we’re sure that this relationship will work out and exist.”
“I’ll be sure to act as if I don’t know anything.” Namjoon promises. “From the way that you’re
talking about him, though, I’m pretty certain that it is working out, and that it won’t end poorly.”
“I hope not.” Taehyung whispers. “We’d both be devastated…”
“Let’s hope for the best, then.”
│►
“The night is very pretty.” Seokjin comments as he leans against the railings of the balcony, and
Yoongi nods in agreement. “Dinner went better than expected, given that we’ve never hung out
like this before, all of us together.” he gestures behind himself to the group that is still chatting
away: Jimin, Hoseok, Eunjae; Taehyung and Jungkook, and even Namjoon and Yugyeom have
been invited to spend midnight with them.
“It did go very well…” he looks down at the watch on his wrist, only to perk up. “Midnight is
approaching, guys. Come, the countdown is almost starting.” everyone goes quiet at that, rapid on
their feet to join them in the balcony, each holding a glass of champagne — except for Jungkook
and Taehyung, who decided not to have any.
All the major lights are turned off, so they can’t see each other very well like that, but the
fireworks will start soon, and they want the best view possible. Jungkook finds Taehyung’s hand to
hold, only to pull him closer until the younger’s back is resting against his chest.
Taehyung smiles as Jungkook back-hugs him. “Can I kiss you at midnight?” the elder whispers,
biting his earlobe innocently. “I’d love to share a New Year’s kiss with you…”
“You can. I’d love to.” the blonde turns around in his hold, pushing him a little further back so that
they won’t be seen by everyone else once the fireworks go off. “I’ve never had a New Year’s kiss,
this is exciting.” he admits with a large grin.
“Oh.” Jungkook gasps. “Am I… your first?”
Taehyung immediately swats his bicep, unappreciative of the joke. “You’re an idiot.”
Jungkook cackles, nosing at his cheek. “For you, yes.” Taehyung simply rolls his eyes with a
smile, hands falling on the small of Jungkook’s back whereas Jungkook holds his hips. They can
hear his friends loudly starting the countdown, but they can only stare at each other.
When they hear the fireworks, Jungkook’s hand moves to his cheek to lean in for a kiss, ending the
space between them. The kiss can’t be too long or they’ll get caught, so the elder wastes no time
before sliding his tongue across Taehyung’s bottom lip to gently part them.
Their tongues meet right away, almost dancing to the music that they’ve had as background noise
since the start of the dinner, now mixed with the fireworks still going off outside. Unfortunately
for both, they can’t keep it up for much longer, so they pull apart, smiling.
They scan their surroundings, making sure that no one is looking: they’re all either hugging or
sipping from their champagne, and Hoseok is still sharing a kiss with his fiancé. Eunjae steps
closer to them. “I saw you two.” she informs with a giggle. “I want a kiss, too. I got disowned last
year, I should be nothing but showered with kisses right now.”
“You didn’t get disowned, you’re back at your place.” Taehyung giggles.
“Hm, living with parents that gag every time that they even look at me.” she sighs. “Just give me a
kiss. I mean, a kiss on the cheek, obviously. I don’t want an actual kiss unless you’re able to
develop boobs.”
“I strongly believe that I’m not able to do that. Even if I were, I wouldn’t. My lips are for one man,
and one man only.” Jungkook teases with his charming smile, winking at Taehyung.
“I mean— Yeah, same.” the blonde has to agree.
“I accept a hug, then.” they don’t have to think twice before they both hug her, sandwiching her
smaller body between them. Eunjae laughs, chest filled with adoration as she feels a kiss being
pressed on top of her head; if she had to guess, maybe Jungkook’s.
Then, she takes her sweet time to hug them individually.
“Ask him to date you, you fucking idiot.” she whispers in Jungkook’s ear.
“Shut up!” he whispers back.
“I have a good idea of how to. Come meet me in the kitchen in twenty seconds.” she says as she
breaks the hug, and he frowns. He wants to judge her for the timing, wants to scream about being
too nervous to even think about asking Taehyung to be his, but he only nods.
“Okay…”
│►
Taehyung leans on the railings of the balcony, eyes on the view. The sky is filled with stars, and
the moon is high and full. It’s a beautiful night, he believes. Everyone is back inside, either
snacking again or just watching television, getting to know each other. Despite finding it a good
environment, he still felt like leaving for a minute.
The lights are off on the balcony, and he can be with himself for just a moment. An unfortunately
short moment, he finds, as he soon hears steps approaching, and turns his head to check who it is.
An easy smile spreads on his lips when he sees Jungkook.
“What are you doing here, my love?” he asks.
“I just wanted to get some fresh air for a bit… What about you?” Jungkook steps closer to him, his
hand digging into the pocket of his jeans to get a paper out. It’s folded neatly.
“I got you—” Jungkook forces himself to gag, and Taehyung raises an eyebrow. “I got you a New
Year’s gift as well.” he hands it over; the blonde laughs at his antics, carefully unfolding the paper
lest it rip or something. He has to squint, taking the paper closer to his eyes to be able to read the
tiniest letters that he’s seen in a while.
‘Date me, I love you’ it reads.
Taehyung’s eyes widen once he processes it, and he lowers the paper to face Jungkook, only to find
him already running away, halfway through the living room. “Wait!” he calls after him, running to
catch up to him — the other guests in the living room just amusedly watch them run off. “Stop,
hyung!” he repeats, finally reaching him by the front door.
“I’m currently close to crying from embarrassment and regret. I’d like to ask for a five minutes
break on my own to let out some tears, then we can resume this conversation.” Jungkook says, still
holding the door open.
“Why do you want to cry? It was such a cute note.” Taehyung giggles.
“I don’t want to pressure you, seriously, but you have about seven seconds to answer before I
assume that your answer is a ‘no’, and I’ll actually just start crying.” he warns. “Seriously.”
Taehyung smiles. “Do you still have your pen?” Jungkook pats himself down, finding said object
in his pocket. He quickly hands it over, rather confused, and watches in silence as the younger man
writes something down on the same note. After a few seconds, he hands it over, neatly folded
again.
Jungkook nervously unfolds the paper, only to find a ‘no’ under his question.
Before Taehyung can even think about saying that he’s joking, Jungkook’s already running out of
the apartment through the open door. “Wait—!” he laughs, having to run again.
“Leave me alone!” Jungkook requests, pressing the elevator button multiple times. “I need to cry,
I’ll be right back, just give me a minute.”
“But I’d like to change and resubmit my answer.” Taehyung explains. “Don’t get in that elevator, I
swear to God!” he calls after him when the door opens, and Jungkook doesn’t move from where
he’s standing, simply turns to face him. Taehyung bends over. “Did you… have to run this much?”
he asks, almost out of breath.
“Tae, it was a hallway.” Jungkook pouts, crossing his arms.
Taehyung shrugs. “A very long hallway.”
“Barely twenty meters, you’re just out of shape.” he jokes, but his face doesn’t shift into a smile as
it usually would as his heart is still squeezed into a small, painful ball.
“Oh, is that so? Be single, then.” Taehyung points accusingly at him, knowing that Jungkook’s just
kidding, and turns around on his heels to go back inside.
“You’re not!” Jungkook calls after him, making him halt. “You’re perfect everywhere, and you
know it. I love every inch of you, I’m just taking the piss.” he sniffs. “However, I do have to point
out that I’m already single, given that you’ve rejected me not even a minute ago. Is your memory
that terrible? You said no to my dating proposal. I just wanted us to be boyfriends, and you wrote
‘no’ on the most romantic note that you’ll ever receive in your life.”
“I was joking!” Taehyung frowns. “I didn’t mean it.”
“Are my feelings a joke to you?” Jungkook crosses his arms, and Taehyung is left gaping; the only
saving grace is how he can see that Jungkook’s not actually hurt now. “We can’t trust men
nowadays…”
“Eunjae is rubbing off on you.” he giggles. “You’re starting to talk like her, hm?”
“Yeah, I’ve noticed… It makes me want to puke.” Taehyung laughs. “Maybe if I had a boyfriend
to rub off on me instead, I wouldn’t be talking like a teenage girl, would I?” he asks, taking a step
closer, and Taehyung mirrors the action.
“I don’t really have anything to rub off on you, to be completely honest. I speak like a normal,
almost thirty-years-old man.” he shrugs.
Jungkook smirks. “You can rub me off instead, if you’d like.”
Taehyung presses his lips in a thin, disapproving line. “I’ve changed my mind, you really are
staying single. My answer will remain a no, and that’s about it.”
“Can you just kiss me and get on with this?” Jungkook asks, trying to reach out for Taehyung’s
forearm, but the younger man pulls away with a forged serious expression.
“I cannot kiss someone who’s not my boyfriend, so… no.”
Jungkook fakes a gasp. “Have we been dating since Christmas, then?” Taehyung blinks, only to
squint at him. “Is December not processable for you or something? You age, you offer New Year’s
gifts, wear ugly sweaters willingly, then forget that you’re dating me… You should probably seek
help regarding December.”
“You’re really not helping your case right now.” Taehyung points.
“I thought that it was a lost cause already.” Jungkook shrugs with a smile trying to break through,
so he has to bite the inside of his cheeks to keep it away.
“The only thing that was lost was my will to date you after such a nasty joke.” Taehyung pokes his
chest with his finger, but Jungkook’s smarter; he uses that to grip the younger’s wrist and pull him
closer. “We could’ve been super romantic, we could’ve been dating for ten minutes already if you
hadn’t sprinted and ran like— I don’t know, someone famous for running fast.” he crosses his
arms.
“Your sports knowledge might just be the saddest discovery that I’ve made about you.” he jokes,
and Taehyung’s eyes widen when he starts getting down on one knee, opening the note for him to
see it again. “Taehyung, my dear, my love, my beautiful peach… Will you make me the happiest,
and date me?” he asks with a dramatic tone to his voice.
“You’re honestly so dumb— Yes, of course, get up, come here.” Taehyung giggles, pulling him up
by the hands. He can see little tears glistening in Jungkook’s eyes, and he’d love to say that he’s
doing any better, but he’d be lying. “Can we, uhm, still keep this between you and I?”
Jungkook’s smile slips away slowly. “Why…?” he asks.
“I want to date you, we’re basically already dating, anyway, and I want to give it a shot because I
could search my whole life, and I still wouldn’t be able to find someone as caring, smart, and
amazing as you… I care so incredibly much for you, don’t ever doubt that, but I’m still healing,
and not everyone is as understanding as you are. I don’t want people commenting, I don’t want
people having opinions on something that is genuinely hard for me, still.” Taehyung explains,
reaching for Jungkook’s hand. “I trust you with my life, so I don’t mind you having me like this,
because I want you as well… but, if you don’t mind, I’d prefer if we kept it between the two of us.
Just for a while. Just— Just until I’m ready.”
“Oh. Oh, yeah, of course.” Jungkook laughs shyly, scratching the back of his neck. “For a second
there, I thought that you were embarrassed of me or something…”
“What— Why? Why would I be embarrassed of you?!”
“Look at me, and look at you, Tae. You’re rich, you can get whatever you decide, you have a good
job that pays you more than I can even fathom having… a supportive and amazing family, and
what do I have? Nightmares, traumas, and empty pockets.”
“That doesn’t change a single thing.” Taehyung smiles. “You could be homeless, and it still
wouldn’t change the way that you care for me, and the way that I care for you. I like you for you,
for your amazing inside… not for what you have.” his smile falters, giving place to a small frown.
“I hate that you think so low of yourself. You’re so much better than I am.”
“You think like this now… When you decide that you want to settle down and buy a house on the
campsite with horses and shit, you’ll hate me because I can’t help making that happen.”
Taehyung laughs, bubbly. “I’m a city guy, so you don’t have to worry about that.” he pokes the
elder’s stomach. “Can you kiss me now? Seal the deal, since we’re boyfriends?” Jungkook only
frowns. “Either kiss me now, or you won’t get these lips for a full week.”
That does make Jungkook smile. “As if you could resist me.”
“Just kiss me, gosh.” they both step closer, eyes shining.
“Say please.” Jungkook teases. “I like the begging.”
“You’re disgusting.” Taehyung tries not to smile. “Please, kiss me, if you’re so kind.” that seems
to do it, and they slowly start leaning in for a kiss. However, before their lips can meet at the
center, they hear their names being called.
“What are you two doing here?” Jimin asks, peeking from the front door, curious.
“We just wanted to talk for a little.” Taehyung smiles, stepping away.
Jungkook follows. “I still want my kiss.” he whispers for him only.
“Oh, alright. Are you coming in? We’re cutting the cake.” Jimin asks.
“No, we still h—”
“Yeah, we’re already done here.” Taehyung cuts him off, and Jungkook’s jaw slacks, left eye
twitches as he watches Jimin drag his best friend away. Taehyung does look back, showing him his
tongue, before disappearing through the front door.
Jungkook huffs. That was definitely revenge.
He takes a moment to collect himself, to celebrate to himself the fact that Taehyung said yes, the
fact that he’s not so single anymore; the fact that he has found someone like Taehyung to spend —
hopefully — his life with.
Then, he walks back to the apartment. He’s barely put a foot inside when a hand wraps around his
wrist, pulling him with no finesse, which makes him yelp. “Come here.” Eunjae drags him into the
kitchen. “So? How did it go? What did he say? Speak already!”
“He said no.” her smile disappears. “Then I left and he chased after me because it was a joke so,
yeah, long story short, he said yes.” Jungkook grins, barely having the time to dodge the slap that
she attempts to deliver to the side of his head. “Jesus, so aggressive—”
“Why couldn’t you start with that?!” Eunjae scolds. “My God, you two are seriously dating, I’m
going to fucking cry.” she waves her hands in front of her eyes. “I’ve been here from the fucking
start. I can’t believe that I was the first one to notice the suspicious things about you two, I can’t
believe that I was the first one that you asked if you were in love with him— I’m so emotional
right now. I watched this happen.”
“If you’re emotional, then imagine how I feel…” Jungkook looks away, shy. “I’m so fucking
happy, but I could be happier…” he admits.
“Why?” she tilts her head. “Do you think that there’s something wrong with the relationship? Do
you think that it’s not… genuine or that he didn’t mean the yes?”
“No, I know that it’s genuine. Tae wouldn’t have said yes unless he truly meant it. The problem—
You see, the problem is that I’m holding a ticking time bomb, and it’s going to burst in my face,
and I know it, but I’m still deciding to hear it tick instead of just… making it stop. I hate myself for
it, and what I hate the most is how I know that this might cost our relationship when he finds out
again about it.”
“Is this about the fact that you’re still drinking?” Jungkook nods. “Yeah… It will blow up, but only
you can decide how it will. It can blow on itself, right in your hands, or you can throw it away, and
tell him the whole truth yourself.”
“He’d hate me for lying. It’s getting repetitive. We’ve been through this more than twice, and
enough is enough… I’m scared that he may finally have enough of me because of this.”
“I don’t know much, but of one thing I’m certain: he loves you, and you really fucking love him a
lot, so just be smart, Kookie.” she places a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Don’t tell him now, or
tomorrow, or… I don’t know. Do it when you’re ready for it.”
“Yeah… You’re right.” he sighs. “I have to.”
“On other news…” Eunjae screeches. “You’re dating!”
Jungkook’s smile returns. “Fuck, I know.”
│►
“What do you want now?” Jungkook lets out, as a joke, when he’s pulled by his wrist once again,
but he finds that it’s not Eunjae. “Oh, my God, baby, I’m so sorry.” he covers his own mouth as he
realizes his mistake. “I thought that you were Jae, I’m so sorry…”
“It’s okay, don’t worry.” Taehyung giggles. “Come with me.” he shifts into holding Jungkook’s
hand instead, proceeding to guide him to the hall. “Which door is the bedroom?” he asks.
“Second door.” Jungkook points, his eyebrows knitting together in both confusion and curiosity.
“Why do you want to go to his room? Are you going to suffocate me with the pillow or
something…? You can just say that you regret accepting my r—”
“You dummy, no. I just want to give you your promised kiss.” Taehyung rolls his eyes playfully,
closing the door behind them as they both get into the bedroom. Jungkook’s confusion is quickly
replaced by a smile; that does sound like a good idea.
Before he can even catch on, Taehyung’s lips are already on his, arms thrown over his shoulders to
play with his black hair. Jungkook lets his hands wander to Taehyung’s hips to pull him closer,
caressing the spot with his thumbs even if over the shit.
Jungkook swiftly slides his tongue across Taehyung’s bottom lip, only to teasingly pull it between
his teeth so that he can watch it wobble back into place. “Hyungie, I really like your kisses…” he
whispers, and Jungkook’s still entranced, looking at his lips and the way that they shape the words.
God, everything about Taehyung is addictive.
“I like yours, too.” Jungkook manages to say, shaking himself back to reality. “Come here, my
love.” he guides him to the bed, patting it for Taehyung to join him when he sits down. “How was
it with Namjoon? Did you enjoy the session?” he asks.
“Oh. You want to know…?” Taehyung checks, a little surprised.
“Of course. If you’re comfortable telling me, then I’m all ears.” Jungkook reassures, combing the
fluffy, blond bangs away from his eyes. “You can tell me all about it.”
“It was a little weird to talk about such things so directly and freely with someone who isn’t you,
but it also felt really good.” he starts with a little smile, allowing the elder to draw circles onto his
palm. “I told him all about Hyungsik, I told him about you… and uhm, I talked about how horrible
it feels to unconsciously compare the two of you every time…” he looks down.
“This is not my expertise, and I may be wrong, but I believe that it’s normal to compare him to
me.” Jungkook reassures, lifting Taehyung’s head back up with just a gentle finger. “You went
through shitty, long years with him, and he was the only concept of a relationship that you’ve ever
known. Being with me, hopefully so much different from him, is bound to confuse you, to leave
you comparing us even when you know that we’re nothing alike.”
“Thank you.” Taehyung’s eyes flutter closed when a warm hand cups his cheek. “Thank you for
listening, and for being so freaking understanding.” he whispers. “Every single time…”
“I love you, and I’ll never not be here to support you, alright? It doesn’t matter what kind of
relationship that we have, I’ll always be here for you.” he leans in, kissing the tip of his nose.
“I’m here for you, too, hyung.” the blonde smiles, rubbing their noses together for a brief second.
Jungkook sees that as an opportunity to kiss him again, and that’s exactly what he does, hand
unconsciously falling down to Taehyung’s neck instead, thumbing at the underside of his jaw.
“You should start seeing Namjoon…” he whispers into Jungkook’s soft lips. “You don’t have to
tell him anything that you don’t want to, but you could tell him the things that you don’t tell me…
There’s probably something, right?”
Jungkook pauses. “Do you have anything that you can’t tell me?” Taehyung looks away, thinking
it through, before meeting his eyes again to shake his head as a clear ‘no’. “I don’t have anything,
either.” it’s half a lie, he knows.
“You should still do it. Please?” Taehyung pouts, and Jungkook could never be strong enough to
resist such a thing. “I promise that it feels good and relieving.” he seals the promise with a kiss, his
lips burning with want, needing Jungkook’s over and over again.
“Okay. I can meet Namjoon once and see how it feels.” Jungkook gives in easily, his protective
walls nowhere near as tall and thick as they were a few months ago when the simple prospect of
having Namjoon as his therapist instead of Taehyung sent him completely over the edge. Taehyung
smiles, and his heart skips a beat. “I love you.” he whispers, because that’s all that he can think of.
God, he loves Taehyung so much.
Instead of replying, Taehyung simply joins their lips again, slower this time, and deeper. Their
tongues meet without hesitation, hands slowly starting to wander. His head tips a little to the side as
Jungkook’s lips start going down his neck, sucking with only the right amount of force.
Taehyung makes the sweetest, breathy little sounds that make him feel immensely proud of
himself: he just wants to make Taehyung feel good, loved, and nothing else. They’re not very sure
of how they end up with the blonde straddling his lap, but their mouths are back on each other’s,
and Taehyung’s too busy toying with his hair.
Jungkook’s will isn’t strong enough to stop him from letting his own hands slowly but surely slide
down Taehyung’s back until they’re resting on his butt, pulling him in as the kiss deepens.
Taehyung breaks the kiss, surprised. “Having fun? Feeling alright?”
“Peachy.” Jungkook jokes, looking up given their position.
Taehyung’s shoulders sag, judging him with his eyes. “You truly have a talent for ruining the
moment.” Jungkook laughs, hiding against the crook of Taehyung’s neck, his hands still very much
cupping his butt. “It’s a good thing, though. Someone could’ve walked in.”
“Hm, kinky.” he teases.

“I want to change my answer.”
Jungkook wheezes. “It’s way too late for that.”
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 60 │►
Chapter Notes
“My head hurts so fucking much, I feel like it’s going to explode.” Eunjae complains, massaging
her own temples with her fingers. “Seriously, I can’t even think, dude.”
“When have you ever been able to think, anyway?” Jungkook teases, and she only gives him a
middle finger, too tired to fight him. “Who told you to drink so much last night, hm? Had I not
carried you to your house, you would’ve stayed on Yoongi’s floor until the morning.” he points
out. “I don’t have any hangover pills on me, so you’ll have to suffer through it.”
“Oh, I already took a pill, I just need to complain.” she dismisses with a sigh. “Hearing about my
favorite couple would truly make me feel so much better.” Jungkook’s hand halts where it was
carefully wiping the counter with a rag, and he gives her a puzzled look. “Give me the news…
What happened last night after our little chat in the kitchen? You two disappeared for, like, two
hours.”
“Uhm… Nothing major happened, we just left to Yoongi’s bedroom so that we could talk for a bit.
He had his first session with a therapist of his own, and I wanted to know all about it.” he shrugs,
focusing back on his task. “We talked a lot, now that I think about it…”
“Are you expecting me to believe that you two were alone in a bedroom and only talked?”
“I mean, we did make out, but that’s it.” Eunjae raises an eyebrow. “I’m serious.”
“No neck kisses, no nothing?” she inquires.
“There were neck kisses involved, yes.”
“You can’t hide them from me. You know that I’m curious, and I like to know every detail.”
“Believe me, I know.” Jungkook tries to sound tired, and it only makes her giggle — which is a
bad idea as it makes her headache worse. “We got a bit touchier last night, but nothing too
adventurous.” he explains, giving as little information as possible, well aware that Taehyung likes
to keep his intimacy private.
“Hm…” Eunjae smirks. “Are you taking the next step soon?”
“I don’t think that the time is right yet…”
“Why not?” she asks, curious. “You’re becoming touchier with each other, and you’re dating now.
You’ve been thirsting over him for months already, just go for it, my dude.”
“I don’t even know if he’s attracted to me in that way.” Jungkook looks away, ignoring the
nervousness that he feels. It sounds almost stupid, he knows, but saying it aloud also feels
relieving. “He never thought of me like that until I confessed, so… I don’t know. I feel like I don’t
know anything sometimes.”
“You know that I like girls, but even I find you attractive, so don’t think that he wouldn’t. Besides,
if he’s dating you, then he must think that you’re acceptable, at the very least. You may not be a
ten in his eyes, but being a seven isn’t so bad.” if looks could kill, she’s sure that she’d fall dead
right then and there.
“I don’t want my boyfriend to think that I’m a seven— That’s so fucking devastating.” he covers
his mouth with one hand, processing it. “It’s my nose, isn’t it? I’ve always known that—”
“Shut it, don’t be an idiot.” she quickly interrupts. “Your nose may be on the bigger side, but you
know what they say… Big nose, a big heart.”
Jungkook snorts. “That’s not how the saying goes.”
“It is now.” Eunjae shrugs. “With all honesty now, you’re very attractive, and I’ve only seen you
shirtless once and quickly, so I wasn’t even able to see the full thing… If you’re a ten for a lesbian,
then you’re for sure a ten for him. You should just… try going for it, and see how he responds.”
“I don’t know…” he looks away.
“You won’t know until you try. Besides, when has my advice ever failed you? Exactly, never.
Make a move today, you can even be subtle, just to see how he responds to it… Then tell me about
it tomorrow.”
Jungkook puckers his lips, nods. “Fine. I’ll test the waters today.”
Eunjae smiles. “This is exciting.”
│►
“Hey, Taehyungie.” Jimin greets him as they hug, Taehyung pressing a kiss to his cheek before
pulling away; a kiss that is retributed right away. “You left work later than usual today…”
“Ah, yes. I’ve been seeing Namjoon.” he explains, not quite catching onto what his words may
entail until he sees his friend’s eyes widening. “Not like that! As a patient and therapist.”
“Oh, I see. Jesus, you puzzled me there for a second… Are you the patient?” Taehyung nods.
“Why? What’s going on?” his friend asks as they sit down at their usual table.
“Being with Hyungsik left a lot of scars, some deeper than others… I understand how toxic and
manipulative he was, I see it now, but there are things that still haunt me.” he explains. “Hyung
was the one suggesting this to me, and today was just the second session, but it feels great. I’m
enjoying this.”
“Jungkook suggested it? That’s… so thoughtful. Friends can only do so much, and I could see how
being very close can also have negative effects. You didn’t hear us during all of that Hyungsik
crap, and only heard it when it came from someone with an outsider perspective… Jungkook, in
this case. Now you not only will have an outsider perspective from Namjoon, but he’s also
someone qualified to give his thoughts on what you share.”
“I know. Jungkook means the world to me, but sometimes I do ask myself whether he’s actually
proud of me and in agreement with my decisions, or if he’s just being the amazingly supportive
guy that he always is. I’ll never not tell him things, I’ll never not rely on him, but Joon will help
make it all a bit clearer for me. His advice sometimes comes off as more genuine, which is stupid,
because I know that Jungkook would never lie to me… It’s irrational.”
“I’m proud of you for even acknowledging all of this.” Jimin smiles, genuine. “It’s also a great
relief to know that you’re enjoying the therapy sessions. They could be a good help.”
“I really do enjoy them… I tell Jungkook everything, I tell you and Hoseok most things — since
you’re not there every single hour of the day — and I do talk to other friends, but being able to just
sit down and talk about that kind of stuff with Namjoon… it’s freeing. I feel relieved after the
sessions, I think.”
“God, I could cry. Hearing that you’re on the way to recovery after all the shit that you went
through with that monster— God. I’m so freaking happy and proud of you.” Taehyung smiles, his
bottom lip caught between his teeth. There’s so much more that he wants to tell Jimin, everything
that has been going on with Jungkook, but he can’t. What if he doesn’t support it? What if he
judges him?
Instead, he simply says, “I’m really happy too, nowadays.”
“You do look like it.” Jimin praises, reaching for his hand. “Your growth is incredible, and… and
you’re glowing nowadays. I can see just how genuinely happy you are. It’s amazing. I’m going to
cry if we keep talking about this, so let’s just order. Breakfast is on me this time around.”
“Alright.” Taehyung giggles. “Tell me about your date last night.”
“Would you like the full version, or the short one?”
“Is that even a question? We have time!” he smiles.
Jimin grins, too. “Okay. So, you won’t believe what happened—”
│►
Taehyung is already discarding his jacket by the time that he reaches the door to his apartment, lips
immediately stretching into a little smile when he sees Jungkook lying on the couch with little
Simba sleeping soundly on his stomach. Just seeing Jungkook after a long day brings him comfort,
and gives him energy.
“Hi, hyung.” he greets.
“Hey, love.” Jungkook mirrors his smile, folding his legs so that Taehyung can sit on the couch by
his side — he then rests them on the younger man’s thighs. “How was your day?” he asks.
“Long… but good. The meeting with Joon went really well again, and I had a fun time with
Jiminie.” Taehyung shares, leaning down to share a little greeting kiss by pressing their lips
together. “What about yours? You look tired.”
“I’m not that tired, I was just about to fall asleep when you came in.” Jungkook chuckles, crossing
his arms behind his head. “A customer started picking on their order, saying that it was wrong and
not what he had requested… It was Eunjae’s doing, and you know how she’s like. He was rude as
hell, so she put him in his place. I didn’t know whether to laugh or try to calm her down. I did
both.” he shrugs. “Besides that, it was the same as always.”
“Eunjae can be a tough piece to handle.” Taehyung acknowledges with an amused smile, petting
Simba’s orange fur. “Are you excited for tomorrow, hyung? That’s all that matters right now.”
Jungkook immediately puts the cat on the floor so that he can sit up, his eyes widening in
appreciation. “I am. I can’t fucking believe that I’m going to start studying again. Engineering, on
fucking top of that. I feel like… not such a failure anymore.”
“Good, because you’re everything but a failure.” Taehyung leans closer to kiss his cheek. “College
will be fun. You’ll like it a lot.”
“I promise to pay you back. Every fucking cent.” Jungkook looks down at his hands, sighs. “I
promise that I will. No matter when.”
“I don’t want you to, and you won’t.” Taehyung says, his voice certain. “All I want is for you to be
happy… I don’t want the money, I want you to come home with a smile, telling me how much
you’ve enjoyed yet another day of learning.” he whispers the ending as he leans closer, rubbing
their noses together; they both smile at the gesture.
“But I want to be able to repay you…” Jungkook whispers against his lips, pecking them once
again; he can’t get enough. “I hate the thought that you’re spending so much money on me. Your
money, that you work for every d—”
“My money, exactly.” the blonde interrupts, tone gentle. “I’ll spend my money however I want. I
choose to spend on something worth it, and your education is more than worth it.”
Jungkook lifts his hand to comb Taehyung’s blonde bangs away, a quiet sigh escaping his lips. “I
love you.” he whispers. “I’m… I’m afraid that you might start seeing me as Hyungsik because of
this shit… I’m not with you for your money, I-I’m not him.”
“I know that, hyungie. I’d never, ever see you two as the same thing. He’s the guy that ruined me,
and you’re the guy putting me back together.” Jungkook feels his heart squeeze in his chest. “He’s
the worst kind of person, and you’re… using your words, fucking perfect.” he says with a smile.
“Are curse words my words now?” Taehyung only hums with a little nod. “Alright, I’ll accept
that… But—”
“No buts, baby, you’re perfect. You’re not him.” Jungkook’s lips stretch in a smile so big that it
resembles the Cheshire Cat. “You look creepy, what’s that smile about?” he raises an eyebrow.
“Wow, thanks.” the elder rolls his eyes with a smile. “I like it when you call me that.” he says as he
slowly leans in, and Taehyung teasingly leans backwards to get away from it.
“Hm? Call you baby?” he checks, arms circling Jungkook’s shoulders as their lips hover just mere
centimeters away from each other’s. They’re unsure of who ends the space between them, but
Jungkook’s hands find their place on Taehyung’s hips, gently pulling him closer, closer, until he’s
straddling his lap. He’s relieved when Taehyung doesn’t show any signs of discomfort, and simply
continues playing with his black hair.
Jungkook’s hands fall loosely on the younger man’s butt, pulling him. The kiss is a little messy,
intense, their tongues toying in their mouths, and Jungkook doesn’t try to stop his fingers from
wandering inside Taehyung’s shirt to gently caress the warm and smooth skin of his waist.
What started off as an innocent kiss slowly starts turning into something else as the elder separates
their mouths so that he can slowly create a path from Taehyung’s lips to his neck, leaving wet
kisses with his eyes still closed, enjoying the closeness, savoring the thought that it’s Taehyung
that he’s kissing like this.
His nails teasingly drag on Taehyung’s ribs at the same time that he sucks a little harder on that one
spot behind his ear, and he can feel the goosebumps appearing under his fingertips. His
ministrations stop, however, when he hears a low moan — they both pull away, finally catching up
to what’s happening.
They stare at each other in silence, as if questioning whether the shift in the air was mutually felt,
and their cheeks heat up when they realize that, yes, they both felt it. “God, you’re beautiful.”
Jungkook whispers, his hand cupping Taehyung’s cheek.
Taehyung leans into the touch, eyes fluttering closed as he thinks back to the times that he’s found
himself in similar situations. He’s unfortunately been like this with his fiancé multiple times, some
of which he doesn’t even remember, but the ones that he does recall, mostly looked the same. He
knows what he must do, he knows what position he must take. He knows his place.
Jungkook’s hands slip from his shirt when he scrambles off of his lap, and he simply watches in
curiosity that turns into confusion as the blonde kneels in front of him. He’s sitting on his heels,
hands resting on his own thighs — he looks as though he’s submitting himself, and Jungkook’s
beyond puzzled.
“My love, what are you doing?” Jungkook asks, his voice as soft as it could possibly sound.
Taehyung’s head snaps up at him, questioning eyes meeting his own equally confused ones. “I’m
—” he looks around them, looking for the proper words. “Am I not supposed to…” his voice dies
off into a few mumbles, and Jungkook is sure that he hears the cursed name, Hyungsik, between
the little whispers.
“Do tell me.” he encourages, though he believes to have understood enough. “You can tell me.”
“My place is to… uhm, do whatever you need, so that you will have a good and pleasant time.”
Jungkook feels sick to his stomach upon hearing those words. “I am— I’m at your disposal.”
“No, angel, that’s not correct. Sex is meant to be good for everyone involved. With two, three, how
many people. Sex is and should be a pleasant experience for everyone.” he explains, words careful.
“As fucking hot as it is to see you on your knees for me, this is really not the mindset that I want
you to come into this with, my love. You must have a good time, too.”
Taehyung takes a moment. “Are you sure? I’m not— It’s not about me, though…” he whispers,
and Jungkook offers him a little smile afore standing up, holding his hand out for him to grab.
Taehyung stands up without questioning, letting their fingers intertwine. He doesn’t ask why he’s
being led to the bedroom — he knows why.
Once in their shared room, Jungkook closes the door behind them and gently guides him to the
bed; Taehyung allows him to lay him down, allows him to crawl on top of him, allows their
mouths to meet again in another heated kiss. Jungkook breaks the kiss with a loud smooching
sound, going back to Taehyung’s neck.
The blonde tilts his head further back to welcome the wet, open-mouthed kisses, and the hands that
explore his body are still gentle and respectful; slow, lest he tell him to stop. Jungkook moans
lowly when he hears the prettiest whine coming from the other’s mouth when his fingers
experimentally pinch the first nipple that his hand comes across.
Taehyung’s confused. How come Jungkook seems to be so content just focusing on him? How
come his own pleasure is enough to evoke a moan from the elder? How come kisses feel so good?
He’s never felt like this, he’s never been taken care of. Hyungsik always just did what he had to do
to finish, and that was it.
Taehyung thought that that was it for everyone.
His eyes open again when Jungkook pulls back, and their eyes are close, lips even closer. They
stare at each other for a few seconds, breathing a little too fast. “Can I?” Jungkook whispers, his
hand touching the hem of Taehyung’s shirt, and the latter just nods, fully cooperating to get his
own shirt off. When the shirt is thrown aside, he feels shy — Hyungsik always complained about
his tummy, and Jungkook’s too perfect not to hate it, too. “Don’t.” the elder says as soon as he tries
to cover himself. “Don’t hide from me, don’t cover yourself, my love.”
“I’m not as fit—”
“You’re perfect.” Jungkook interrupts. “God, you’re fucking gorgeous, you’re perfect. Don’t hide,
please, you have nothing to be conscious about.” he praises, and his words sound so genuine that
Taehyung could cry. “Baby, I need you to tell me if I do anything that you don’t like or are
uncomfortable with, okay?” he requests, only getting a shy nod in response. “I need to hear it.”
“I’ll tell you.” Taehyung assures, his hands gripping Jungkook’s biceps when he notices them
flexing by his head as the elder is using his arms to hold himself up above him. “I’ll be honest with
you, I promise.” he adds.
Jungkook smiles, content with the answer, and continues. He scoots lower, wet kisses going lower
and lower. His eyes close when he hears another little whine as his tongue drags over one of
Taehyung’s nipples, and he wants to bite it, pull it just to hear that sound again, but holds back —
he doesn’t want Taehyung’s proper first time to be harsh. He wants to be as gentle as possible.
“How was your session today?” Jungkook asks in a soft whisper, kissing Taehyung’s sides as he
makes his way to his belly button, loving the way that the blonde’s body reacts to him. “Tell me.”
“It was— Oh.” his cheeks redden when he feels a little teasing bite on his tummy, followed by a
kiss to the same spot. “I-It was alright, it feels good…”
“Feels good?” Jungkook smirks. “The kisses or the sessions?” he teases him even further.
“B-Both…” he admits. “The kisses are, however, better.”
“I fucking love your tummy, gosh, the things that I want to do to you.” Jungkook says under his
breath, but Taehyung can hear it, and he finds it incredibly reassuring to know that Jungkook’s
holding back, making sure that he’s enjoying it.
The elder sits up on Taehyung’s thighs to be able to open his jeans, eyes focused on the blonde’s
reaction, and he can see the shift before him. Taehyung’s body tenses, and his hands that were so
comfortably feeling up Jungkook’s arms stop, a new shakiness to them. He looks away, too,
unwilling to see his jeans getting removed, and Jungkook can almost hear his mind wandering.
Judging by Taehyung’s expression, the memories aren’t good.
“Are you alright?” Jungkook asks, quietly.
Taehyung gulps. “I don’t… I don’t know…” he whispers. Jungkook smiles, kissing his stomach
before buttoning Taehyung’s jeans again. “What…?” he doesn’t manage to finish, too confused.
“It’s okay, baby.” Jungkook holds his hand, helping him to sit up on the bed. “You’re not ready,
and that’s ok. It’s more than ok. You may think that you’re ready, but your body is telling me
otherwise… This was already a huge step considering your traumas and haunting memories. I love
you, alright? I’m so fucking proud of you for even getting this far with me.”
“But—” Taehyung stops himself, looking into his eyes for a long moment in search for any signs
of anger, but he doesn’t see anything. Jungkook’s right, and he knows that. He’s not ready, he
doesn’t feel ready. Getting to his pants turned it all too real, and it just didn’t feel right, not now.
He’s not ready. “Will you be mad?”
“I’d never get mad at you for something like this. I just want you to be comfortable, and we got to
a point where you weren’t comfortable anymore, so we stopped. There’s nothing wrong with that. I
don’t have anything sexual that makes me uncomfortable but, if I had and we crossed that line, I’d
want you to stop, too. I could never be mad at you.” Jungkook assures, kissing his cheek.
“You are uncomfortable, though…” Taehyung mumbles, pointing south, and Jungkook has to
follow his finger to understand that he’s gesturing to the visible tent on the front of his jeans.
“I’m only, like, half-hard, I’m ok.” Jungkook says through an entertained laugh. “On that note…
I’m going to the bathroom.”
“Are you— Will you—?”
“I’m just going to take a cold shower.” Jungkook lifts his arms up in surrender. “It’s so endearing
how shy you get with these things.”
“You’re too shameless…” Taehyung pouts.
Jungkook hums, carefully putting the younger’s shirt back on so that he’s dressed once again.
“You’re my boyfriend, so there’s no reason for me to be embarrassed of anything.” he shrugs. “I
hope that you grow to be just as comfortable with me.”
“I am comfortable with you, I’m just… embarrassed. This is new to me, this openness…”
“Fucking cute.” Jungkook kisses him one last time, before standing up. “I’ll take a quick shower
now, I’ll be right back.” he informs, opening the door, and Taehyung can only watch the way that
his back muscles flex as he removes his shirt.
“God…”
│►
Taehyung’s wrapped himself up in blankets by the time that the elder returns with a towel around
his lower body, hanging low enough on his hips for his deep v-line to be visible. Taehyung’s eyes
aren’t so shy anymore, and they explore the whole expanse of visible skin, even following the few
drops of water that slowly slide down the dips of muscled skin until they disappear on the towel.
Jungkook’s too attractive.
“Can I be honest with you?” Taehyung looks back up at his eyes, motioning for him to go on, and
Jungkook chuckles as he rubs his hair with a towel. “I did rub one off, I couldn’t help myself.”
Jungkook’s laugh is the only thing filling up the room besides Taehyung’s embarrassed groan, and
he proceeds to chuck the pillow at him. Jungkook catches it, much to his dismay. “What am I even
meant to say? Ask whether it was good?”
“Don’t test me. Don’t ask me questions, you know me enough to know that I’ll give you every
detail if you push me.” he teases.
“I’ll throw the lamp next.” Taehyung threatens, jokingly, and looks away when he sees Jungkook
reach for the towel to remove it and change into his boxers and sweatpants.
Jungkook finds it incredibly adorable. “Babe, you don’t have to look away.”
“I… I know that I can look, I mean— I know that you’re ok with me looking, but I’m not used to
this, to even wanting to look… It makes me a bit nervous.” he explains, honest. “Are you mad?”
“Mad? Over you looking away?” he tilts his head.
“No… Mad because we stopped, because you had to use your hand instead, because I’m too shy to
even make sense when I talk about these things… because I’m not ready…”
“No, absolutely not. I say this quite a lot, but I’ll say it as many times as you need me to: I love
you. I’m in love with you. I care so fucking much for you, and I respect you equally as much. I
don’t mind stopping halfway, I don’t mind having to use my hand. I don’t mind not doing anything.
I love you, Tae.”
Taehyung is silent for a few seconds, before his arms find their way around Jungkook’s middle. “I
do, too.” he whispers. “I can’t say it, but I feel it. I always feel it when I’m with you.” Jungkook’s
heart speeds up at the words, a smile stretching his lips.
“You’re not ready for that, and I understand. I can see it in your eyes, I can feel it in your kisses. I
know it even if you can’t say it yet.” he says, the last words a little muffled by the kiss that he
presses on Taehyung’s shoulder even if over the shirt.
“It feels really good to hear when we know that it’s genuine, though, so I want you to hear it.
Whenever you say those words to me, it makes me so happy and— and like I’m worth something. I
want you to hear it, but—” Jungkook interrupts him with a kiss, and Taehyung pouts. “Don’t. I’m
serious…”
“You’re here, literally in my arms. That’s enough.” he assures him yet again, eyes following
Taehyung’s when they drift to something behind him, and he finds Moon walking into the
bedroom with her tail wagging. Taehyung smiles. Moon holds a lot of meaning to them both, even
more to Jungkook.
Moon is such an important thing to them. Moon.
“I Moon you.” Taehyung says, voice laced with genuineness, eyes looking right into Jungkook’s to
see his reaction. And Jungkook tries to stay quiet, just give him a smile and a nod, maybe even say
it back given that Taehyung sounds and looks so serious, but once the words bounce back in his
head, he can’t do it. So, he laughs. “Hey, take it seriously! Say it back.”
“No, that’s so damn stupid.” Jungkook shakes his head in disapproval, still laughing as he tries to
get up from the bed, but Taehyung holds onto his wrist to pull him back down onto the mattress.
“Wouldn’t it be nice to be in syntony for once? You truly lied about being romantic…”
“I am romantic, I declare myself to you at every chance that I get. What’s not romantic is you
saying that you Moon me. That’s just… stupid.” he shrugs, trying not to smile at Taehyung’s
frown.
“Babe…!” Taehyung whines, nonetheless. “Say it back. Please.”
“No!” Jungkook laughs again. “The day that you sit on my face, I’ll say it. It’ll be a win-win
situation, and the only scenario where you’ll hear me say such a thing.” he negotiates.
Taehyung cringes. “I’ll sit there just to suffocate you.”
“Hm, I wouldn’t mind such glorious death.”

“I can’t stand you.”
Jungkook smiles. “Quite the opposite, actually…”
“I hate that you’re always right.” he mumbles.
“Another charm of mine…”
│►
Taehyung hums a melody to himself as he stirs the food cooking on the stove, Jungkook chopping
some carrots on the counter behind him. “Tae?” he calls after a while in the comfortable silence. “I
called the clinic on my way home, and scheduled a session with Joon for four days from now. I
was going to tell you when you arrived, but I was greatly distracted.” he can’t miss the chance to
tease him.
“Oh, you did?” Taehyung turns around to face him, but Jungkook’s back is turned to him as he’s
focused on his task. “I’m so proud of you for that.” he walks closer, hugging him from the back.
“So proud.”
“Thank you.” Jungkook smiles. “It’s doing you good, so it will probably be good for me, too…” he
turns around in Taehyung’s arms. “I still kind of hate the idea of talking to anyone in general. I talk
to Jae, but we mostly take things in a less serious tone; I tell you everything, but not even you know
the full extent of my past yet… Yoongi and Jin don’t know shit about my life despite being my
best friends… Opening up to a complete stranger will be a challenge. The thought scares the shit
out of me.”
“I was scared, too, so I understand. It’s scary to be vulnerable, but it feels good when you do so
with an understanding person. Namjoon is a really nice guy.” Taehyung guarantees. “You’re
already taking an amazing step by even trying. You can just not go for a second session if you
don’t like it. I’m proud of you.”
“You being proud of me makes me feel some type of way…”
“I’m always proud of you.” Taehyung smiles. “And I also get that, I feel the same way when you
say that you’re proud of me.” he pulls away to gather the cut-up carrots. “Take my card when you
meet him, I’ll—”
“No, don’t even. We’re not having this conversation—” Jungkook tries, only to be interrupted by a
pair of lips that disappear after a second. “C’mon, I just want to be independent for once.”
“You will be, I’m just helping you get back on your feet so that you can get there.” Taehyung
shrugs, returning to the stove to add the carrots to the pot. It’s now Jungkook’s turn to hug him
from the back instead, kissing the blonde’s neck.
“How the fuck did I get lucky enough to find someone like you?” he asks, softly.
“I ask myself the same thing every day…”
Jungkook pulls back. “I don’t know why, I don’t do shit—” he stops abruptly when Taehyung
turns around with the knife still in his hand, almost as if pointed at him. Jungkook covers his
crotch.
“Repeat that, I dare you.” and only then do Taehyung’s eyes take in Jungkook’s position: the
hands, and the way that he’s trying his hardest not to laugh. So, Taehyung playfully rolls his eyes,
poking his arm carefully with the tip of the knife.
Jungkook hisses, holding his forearm. “Tae— You just—”
Taehyung’s eyes widen, mortified. He didn’t poke hard, he was very careful. “My God, I’m so
sorry, are you hurt— How can I— I mean, should I get you—” he stops when Jungkook laughs,
letting go of his arm and, consequently, showing how there’s no sign of broken skin; he barely felt
the knife, as it is.
Taehyung turns back to the stove. “I was ready to start ranting about how amazing you are to me
but, after that, I don’t feel like it anymore.”
Jungkook gasps. “Baby, you know that I need constant reassurance, I’m unstable.”
“You’re not getting any sort of reassurance while behaving like that, mister.” Taehyung tries not to
giggle. “I thought that I was about to have to drive you to the hospital or something. I’d cry.”
“I was just joking… I like to joke a lot, but you’re the only person that I feel this comfortable
with.” the blonde turns to him at that, and Jungkook’s eyes make him look like a kicked puppy.
“Why would you— I’m meant to be mad, but I can’t be mad at that face, you look too cute.”
Taehyung only groans when Jungkook shows off his tongue, any sign of sadness completely
vanished. “How much notice must I give you to end the deal and change my answer to your New
Year’s request?”
“You can’t change it. It’s a forever-year contract that you’ll have to follow until it expires.” the
elder smiles.
“Forever?” Taehyung asks with a chuckle as he turns back to the stove to continue stirring their
food. He fails to see the way that the single word makes Jungkook deflate, his smile slowly fade.
Taehyung doesn’t want to spend forever with him? It wasn’t said directly or with those words, but
Jungkook isn’t dumb — his paranoid mind is quick to connect what he thinks two and two are. He
can’t judge Taehyung for that, really.
And the blonde can almost physically feel the mood changing, so he’s quick to say, “I’d be
honored to spend forever with you.”
“I wouldn’t want to be with someone like me, either, so you don’t have to say that— It’s fine.”
Jungkook says, his tone quiet now.
“Hey, what? Where did that come from?” Taehyung furrows his brows, having to watch as
Jungkook looks down and turns his back to him to walk out of the kitchen. “Hyung, come here.” he
calls, quick on his feet so that he can hold him back by the arm. “What was that?”
Jungkook sighs, running a hand through his hair. When he turns back to Taehyung, he has a fake
smile on, one that doesn’t reach his eyes. “Never mind that, I was being sarcastic.” he lies with a
forced chuckle.
“No, you weren’t.” Taehyung knows him too well. “Talk to me, please.”
Contrary to his expectations, Jungkook simply frees his arm so that he can go back to the kitchen.
“I can cut the onions for you so that they don’t make you cry.” is the only thing that he says,
already making a grab for the knife and an onion from the counter.
“Are you just going to shut me out like this…?”
“I’m not shutting you out.” Jungkook shakes his head.
“You clearly are.” Taehyung leans closer and down so that he can see his eyes, but Jungkook
doesn’t look away from the onion in his hands. “What’s gotten you so upset?”
“I don’t want to fight you.”
“We always talk without fighting, hyung.” he says, voice even softer now. No answer comes, still,
and the only things that he can hear are the sounds of Moon playing in the living room with a
squishy toy, and the knife hitting the cutting board. “Jungkook…?” he calls.
Much to his dismay, his phone starts ringing in the living room. “Your phone’s ringing.”
“It doesn’t matter right now.”
“It might be important.” Jungkook presses.
“Hyung, please. What did I do? Was it— What’s wrong? Please, tell me.”
“Your phone, Tae.” the blonde throws his hands in the air, sighing in exasperation before walking
away to take the call. The lack of an answer only makes Jungkook’s shoulders tense even more,
despite having been the one to ask Taehyung to leave. “Goddamn…”
│►
Dinner is agonizingly silent. Moon sits between them both, waiting for the little pieces of food that
they give her every so often, head resting on Jungkook’s thighs so that her pleading eyes are more
effective. It’s when Jungkook sniffs, even if there aren’t any visible tears, that Taehyung puts his
chopsticks down.
“Are we just not going to talk now?”
Jungkook sighs. “Tae, please. Just leave it alone.”
“You always preach about us being honest with each other, but you’re really not being honest with
me right now. We went from being super ok, from joking around, from almost— from what
happened in the bedroom later, to you not even looking at me. I want an explanation, and I think
that I deserve one.”
“I don’t want to talk about this right now. It’s just my head hating me, as always, and blowing shit
out of proportion.” Jungkook explains, still not meeting his eyes.
“I just want to help you… but you have to tell me what h—”
“Why can’t you respect that I don’t want to talk right now? Isn’t that why I’m seeing Namjoon?”
Jungkook interrupts, and his words remind Taehyung of a time when the elder had his protective
walls so tall and strong that he wouldn’t share the smallest detail about his life. At that, he goes
silent, simply picking his chopsticks back up. Jungkook can tell that it threw him off. “I’m going to
Namjoon first, then we’ll talk.”
“Do as you think is best.” Taehyung says, pushing his plate aside and getting up.
Jungkook watches him, stupefied. “Why are you making me feel bad over not being prepared to
talk to you about something without seeking some advice about it first? I don’t have to tell you
everything.” Taehyung halts, and Jungkook almost winces at his own words. “I want to, of course I
do, but this isn’t something that you can get mad at me for.”
“I know that, but you were ok, and you were making jokes and being the entertaining, charming
guy that you always are and, suddenly, you got mad at me. I know that it was something that I
either said or did, and you’re not freaking telling me what it was. I’m upset because I know it’s my
fault, and you’re not telling me what caused this, so that I can fix it.”
“It’s not like that.” Jungkook groans. “Can you just, please, let me have a fucking moment to talk
to someone else about this given that I don’t know how the fuck to tell you without making it even
worse or making zero sense? It’s fucking—”
“Stop cursing at me!” Taehyung interrupts. “Why are you being like this to me?”
“I’m not—” he stops, mouth closing in realization. “I’m done with this conversation. I’ll clean this
up now, are you done eating?” Taehyung doesn’t answer, unbelieving. “Alright.” Jungkook gathers
his plate, standing up to wash the dishes.
“Fine, be an idiot.” Taehyung whispers as he leaves the kitchen.
Jungkook gulps, but doesn’t call after him.
│►
Taehyung can’t close his eyes even if he doesn’t see a single thing in the pitch-black room. He’s
lying on his side, so he believes that he’s looking somewhere towards the wardrobe. Jungkook isn’t
doing any different: his eyes glued to where he knows the ceiling to be, and sheets brought up to
his chest. They’re not cuddled up as they always are, and the space between them feels even bigger
than it is. The bed feels cold, enormous, and lonely. It’s uncomfortable.
The blonde looks back when he feels the mattress dipping and moving, and he sees Jungkook
sitting up with his phone screen illuminating the room a little. “C’mon, Moon, let’s go.” Jungkook
whispers, still trying not to wake him up.
“Where are you going…?” Taehyung whispers.
“I’ll sleep on the couch tonight.” Jungkook informs, pulling the sheets back up to properly cover
Taehyung’s body so that he doesn’t get cold, and he has to fight every instinct in himself not to
tuck him in.
“But— But you’ll have a bad dream…”
“I’d rather have a nightmare than being in this bed right now, with you sleeping as far away from
me as you physically can, like I have the measles or some shit.” Jungkook grabs his pillow, jaw
set. “This is really fucking hurtful, you now.” Taehyung gulps, not knowing what to say to make
this situation better, so he’s left to watch Jungkook leaving the room; he stops at the door. “Can
you actually put in words the reason why you’re so mad at me, so that maybe we can make it
justifiable?”
Taehyung remains quiet. He doesn’t know, either. He’s just… upset. He’s upset because he’s the
reason why Jungkook is having a hard moment, yet he’s not allowed to help. He’s upset because
Jungkook’s closing off on him, and being lied to scares the living soul out of Taehyung. After
Hyungsik, lies terrify him.
So, he doesn’t answer.

Jungkook chuckles. “Sleep well, Taehyung.”
No nickname.
No pet name.
Just Taehyung.
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 61 │►
Chapter Notes
Taehyung turns around as he slowly regains his consciousness, body seeking for Jungkook’s
warmth, but his eyes open when he’s met with nothing other than the empty mattress. He sighs,
slumping down even more as he’s reminded of the situation that they’re in.
He sits up, rubbing his tired eyes. The apartment is silent, he can hear the faint sounds of Moon
playing with something in the living room, and nothing else. “Hyung…?” Taehyung calls as he
gets up on wobbly feet, but receives no answer. Jungkook could still be asleep, that if he even
managed to get any sleep at all, so he rushes to the living room to check.
Moon lifts her head up, tail starting to wag. The toy is long forgotten as soon as she sees him walk
in, but Taehyung can’t share the same amount of happiness when he realizes that she’s by herself.
“Where’s your dad, hm?” he asks rhetorically, playing with her floppy ears. “Is he having
breakfast and ignoring me? Is he?” Moon barks, which makes him giggle but shush her. “Don’t.
It’s too early.” he reprehends, standing back up on his feet to go to the kitchen instead. He’s ready
to grab Jungkook by the shoulders and sit him down, have breakfast together and share a good
morning kiss that he’ll enjoy and will positively make him forget the fight. Then, calmly, they’ll
talk; apologize.
Much to his discontentment, the kitchen is empty. There’s a coffee mug on the table, steam still
coming out of it. Jungkook must’ve left not too long ago. There’s a pink sticky note glued to it, and
Taehyung quickly makes a grab for it. “Your dad left a note, would you like to hear it?” he asks as
Moon sits in front of him, tongue out. “This is the worst damn coffee that I’ve ever made just to be
petty, but careful, it might be hot.”
He turns the paper over, but there’s nothing else written. He giggles, even if his smile slowly shifts
into a sad frown. He messed up. Royally. They both did. He’s worried that it might be a hard fight
to fix.
They’ve rarely fought and, since they’ve been in a relationship — or just experimenting with one
— it never happened. He doesn’t know whether solving problems as a couple will be trickier. He’s
afraid that Jungkook will just close off, afraid that this horrid mood will stick for a long time.
What leaves him more uneasy is the fact that Jungkook doesn’t have work, and his classes won’t
start for another two hours, so he doesn’t know why he’s left already. He wanted to wish him good
luck, to be there for him and give him a good kiss; wanted to hold Jungkook and make sure that
he’s not too nervous for his first college day.
Now, he can’t do any of that since Jungkook’s missing.
Taehyung considers calling him, but ends up putting his phone down. If Jungkook left so early,
then it’s because he wants space — which he also proved by spending the night on the couch.
Did he even sleep? Taehyung didn’t hear any crying. Was he able to just sleep without a
nightmare? That would be amazing news, though it would also mean that there’s the faint
possibility of Jungkook having drunk something to sleep well.
“No, he wouldn’t.” Taehyung tells himself. “He wouldn’t lie again.”

│►
“Thank you so much for calling, you truly couldn’t have picked better timing for this session.”
Jungkook says as he sits down, the table between the two of them holding two glasses with water.
Namjoon’s consultation office looks nothing like Taehyung’s. Namjoon’s is more professional,
whereas Taehyung’s far cozier, familiar; comfortable.
“Someone canceled, and so I looked through the list of sessions that I have scheduled for this
week, and I made a biased pick by calling you instead of someone who would come first.”
Namjoon explains. “I know you and, of course, you’re Taehyung’s boyfriend, so you’re different.
I’m glad that you could make it today.”
“Yeah, you could have called someone else, but I’m thankful that you called me. I didn’t sleep at
all tonight, this was the best timing possible. I couldn’t close my eyes at all.” he smiles, though a
little closed off, reaching for the water to take a good sip.
“Insomnia?” Namjoon asks as he opens his notepad. “Actually, I feel like it’s something else. You
called this ‘good timing’, and you’re clearly bothered by something… Your mood feels down
today. Did something happen recently?” Jungkook sighs, realizing how easy he can be to read.
“Yes…” he sets the glass back on the table, eyes not once leaving the object. “I know that I should
come here to talk about my depression, or to talk about the shitty life that I’ve lived ever since I
can remember, but my mind is filled with what happened last night, and I can’t possibly think
about anything else… I just want to talk about what happened with Tae.”
“You talk about what bothers you and concerns you, not necessarily about your traumatic past or
whatever secrets that you may be storing in there. I’m here to listen, so just tell me what you want
me to hear, and I will.” Namjoon smiles, reassuringly. “What happened with Taehyung?”
“I just…Well, I ruined a perfectly amazing day because I’m a fuck— Oh, wait, can I curse?” the
therapist simply nods. “Right. I messed up the mood, and we ended up fighting because I didn’t tell
him why I was feeling and behaving like that. Don’t get me wrong, I want and wish to tell my
boyfriend everything, but I— I don’t know how to tell him that I feel like he’s going to leave me.
Like, all the time.”
“Leave you? Why do you think that way?”
“Because I don’t deserve him, Namjoon. I try my best to be a good boyfriend, I really do, but I just
constantly feel insecure in this. I can’t stop myself from thinking of how he will end up seeing that,
too, and will just… leave me. I’m not enough for him. I’m a hard piece to handle, I know that, and
I understand why he’d want someone else— literally anyone else, but understanding it doesn’t
make it less upsetting.”
“Why do you think that you don’t deserve him, if I may ask?”
“I’m broke as shit, I’m a very damaged guy who still struggles to open up about what goes on in
my head… it’s hard to— I fucking try, but I’m still always— he’s… I don’t know how to say it.”
he slumps down.
“You feel like financially, socially, mentally and physically, Taehyung could do better?” Namjoon
tries to find the words for him, and Jungkook looks up at him, blinking once.
“Ouch…?” he frowns. “No need to say it like that, but yeah.”
“Have you told him that you feel this way? Maybe, he’d tell you that you’re wrong.” the therapist
shrugs, hand quickly writing down his notes.
“Every time that I do voice these concerns, he tells me otherwise and it still does nothing. If
anything, it does worse. How do I explain this— He’s amazing, and part of me wonders whether he
just compliments me to lift me up, or actually means it… What he says just shows and further
proves to me how he deserves so much better.” Jungkook sighs. “He’s mad because uhm,
yesterday, I allowed all of this to get into my head, and I was being weird with him yet wasn’t
telling him the reason. I wasn’t ready to, nor did I know how to…”
Namjoon slowly nods. “Do you mind telling me what led to the argument?”
“It was literally the stupidest thing ever, but it got to me, and I don’t even know why.” he
mumbles, a little embarrassed.
“If it got to you, then it’s not stupid.” the man reassures. “What happened? I may be able to help
you sort out your thoughts properly so that you can have a nice conversation with him about it, as
I’m sure that neither of you is happy right now.” he encourages.
“We were cooking, and we were making jokes… We were in a really good mood together. I made
a comment, not even too seriously, about us being together forever, and he kind of mocked it…?
He didn’t really mock it, but it just hit me in a way that it shouldn’t have. We were joking around,
so I can recognize that he was probably just teasing me, but it felt like a fucking slap to my face.”
Jungkook explains, his eyebrows furrowed in clear discomfort. “I see myself with him, you know?
I see myself, old as hell, still holding his hand… and it’s scary to think that he might not feel the
same thing towards me.”
“Have you tried asking him?”
“How the fuck—” Jungkook stops, closing his eyes for a moment to breathe in. “How am I
supposed to ask the man who I’m in love with — who, by the way, isn’t even in love with me yet
— and I’ve been dating for the least amount of time that you’d expect, if he wants to be with me
forever? That’s basically marriage, and I asked him to be my boyfriend, like, the other day. He’d
think that I’m a lunatic.”
“Now, why do you think that Taehyung isn’t in love with you? It may just be your insecurities
making you assume that, don’t you think?” Namjoon asks, scribbling something else down.
“No… I know that he’s not. He loves me, but he’s not in love with me. He didn’t even consider me
an interest until I told him that I love him, I don’t expect him to be madly in love with me as I am
with him. We still have a long way to go together, I’m not upset over that. It’s just that… the way
that he kind of mocked the ‘forever’ made me think that we might not have that long way to go.”
Jungkook tries to explain. “I know that I’m hard to love, let alone be in love with, but I’m— I’m
frustrated. I love him enough to acknowledge that he deserves someone better, I’d support him if
he decided to do so, but I’m also fucking terrified of letting him go…? Does that make any sense?”
Namjoon hums, looking down at his notes before clearing his throat. “You can’t date someone
when you’re constantly thinking of letting that someone go to find someone else better. If you
don’t talk to Taehyung about this, you’ll end up feeling miserable in your relationship.”
Jungkook groans as he rubs his eyes. “I hate myself, this is a whole joke.”
“With all honesty, Jungkook, I don’t think that you should be in a relationship. I’d never advise a
patient with your mental state to be in a relationship, but I know you, and I know Taehyung, and I
also know and have seen how good you two are for each other… you stabilize each other in ways
that some couples take decades to start experiencing. If you’re in love with him, and if he loves
you, then you have to talk. You two will never work out unless you have really good
communication.”
Jungkook sighs, frustrated. He knows that. He knows this much.
“I know, and we both try our best to communicate everything, but I-I don’t know how to put things
into words, because everything gets so blown out of proportion in my head, you have no fucking
idea. My brain makes the smallest problem become huge, and it’s— it’s hard to deal with. It’s hard
to make sense of what I’m thinking.” he looks up at his new therapist, eyes almost pleading. “I
may make jokes and be happy, but I’m also really fucking depressed. I may be confident and
sociable, but I’m also incredibly anxious and I struggle to open up about the littlest details about
my life… I— My head is a mixture of contradictions, and that mixture is too much to handle
sometimes.”
Namjoon remains silent, writing down as he listens attentively.
“I don’t know how someone as broken as me is meant to communicate with someone as scarred as
him in a way that isn’t misinterpreted.” he says, slower this time, hands gesturing. “A-And because
I don’t know how to, I asked him to let it go so that I could ask you first, see whether I could figure
out how to express myself, but he got mad. He got mad, and I don’t even understand why. I mean
— I don’t know why he got mad, and it’s—”
“Yeah…?” the other encourages after a few seconds of silence.
“My best friends don’t even know my favorite color, I think.” he looks back up with a saddened
chuckle. “I used to never share anything with anyone before I met him. I never shared my thoughts
or feelings, I kept everything inside until it choked me, but I never told anyone a thing. It’s still a
big challenge to me, it’s still very difficult to know how to do it, how to say things, and that’s the
issue right now.” he finishes with a sigh.
“Using your words, you’re broken and he’s scarred, and those aren’t aspects that will easily change
so, unless you try to communicate your issues and concerns, your feelings, then your relationship
might not survive long. This is who you two are, and honesty and communication are even more
important and necessary in your case. Lying doesn’t—”
“I’m not lying to him.” Jungkook has to interrupt. “I just don’t have the words to tell him how
broken and insecure I actually am, and how much better I believe that he deserves. How am I
supposed to tell him that he should be running away from me, but that I’m also begging him to stay
because I’m so fucking in love with him? How can I put that in a sentence that will make sense for
him?” he asks, exasperated.
“He studied psychology, don’t forget that. He’s a therapist. Trust him enough to help you make
sense of it.”
“So… Uhm, you’re saying that we wouldn’t work out if he wasn’t a therapist?”
“But he is, so how can you make that judgment?” Namjoon tilts his head.
“You basically just hinted that we’re able to work out because he’s a therapist.
“I believe that his career is beneficial for your relationship and problem solving, not a cause.
Jungkook, if he wasn’t a therapist, you two probably wouldn’t even have met again, so you really
can’t think of you two in any situation other than the one that you’re living in. You can’t think of
the ‘ifs’ of life. If you didn’t need help, or if he had studied anything in college, you wouldn’t even
be together, to begin with.”
Jungkook takes a second to process that, before slumping further on his chair. “He deserves
someone better.” he concludes.
“But he chose you.” Namjoon smiles.
“But why? I’m really no good for him. I-I don’t get why he’s with me.”
“You’d be fucking surprised.” Namjoon mumbles to himself. Taehyung spent a good amount of
time during his session talking about how highly he thinks of Jungkook, and about how amazing he
considers Jungkook to be as a person and a boyfriend, so it’s rather frustrating to hear him say such
self-deprecating things. It’s frustrating, because he can’t reveal anything said by Taehyung, can’t
ease Jungkook’s self-hatred with that reassurance.
“Sorry?” Jungkook tilts his head. “I didn’t catch that.”
“I said that you need to get home, and have a good conversation with him about these concerns of
yours. He holds all the answers, and he can reassure you in ways that I can’t. I’m sure that you two
can solve this issue easily.”
“But how do I explain what goes on inside this mess of a brain…?”
“Jungkook, you’ve been using your own words to express yourself throughout this entire session. I
barely know you, yet I was able to understand you, so he will, too. Tell him what you’ve told me,
be honest with him. Trust yourself to speak your mind, and trust him to understand. If he doesn’t,
try again with other words. You got this, seriously.”
Jungkook remains silent for a few seconds, before laughing. “What if he confirms my thoughts?
What in the goddamn world am I meant to do if he confirms that he doesn’t see a future with me?”
“The only thing that I know for sure, is that you won’t be able to relax, and have some peace of
mind, until you talk to him about this. His answers, on the other hand, are something out of my
professional reach. Talk to him today.”
“I will.” Jungkook sighs. “I love him, I can’t stand being in this situation with him. We were
sleeping with so much space between us, and it was hurting so much to feel that distance, that I had
to go sleep on the couch. Well, I mean, I didn’t really sleep much. I got wasted, but I could only
sleep for an hour or so… My thoughts were too loud for me to actually be able to sleep tonight…”
“Huh? I thought that you had stopped drinking…?”
“Oh, I’m lying about that.” he admits with a guilty look in his eyes, letting out an embarrassed
chuckle. He’s angry at himself, embarrassed, and he can’t believe that he just told Namjoon, so
easily, the truth about his current drinking situation. The alarm on the table goes off as Namjoon
opens his mouth and he feels insanely relieved. “That’s a conversation for another day. Please
don’t tell Taehyung about this, he has no idea…”
“I won’t tell him, what you say here is completely safe with me.” Namjoon reassures, suppressing
a sigh; he wants to continue the conversation, but he can’t. “Good luck with the talk later, I hope
that it goes well.”
“Thank you… I hope for the same thing.”

│►
Jungkook taps his thigh continuously, his foot moving anxiously. The way that he keeps pulling
his phone out, only to store it a second later is embarrassing, and he hopes that no one is watching,
but he’s too much of a coward to unlock the device. At least for the first thirty times that he grabs
and stores it.
“Fuck it.” he mumbles at last, unlocking his phone to get to the contacts, and he clicks Taehyung’s
number. Holding it to his ear, he starts to realize that Taehyung might not even pick up. He’s
unsure of how their relationship was left after such an argument, which is the scariest part. They
didn’t yell, they didn’t insult each other, they weren’t mean, but the distance on the bed and the
coldness of the couch are enough to make him anxious.
“Hello?” Taehyung picks up after a few beeps, and Jungkook immediately regrets calling.
Taehyung never picks up with a single ‘hello’, which already tells him that he’s still angry, and
most likely doesn’t want to hear his voice.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have called.” Jungkook closes his eyes, gripping his phone harder.
“Yes, you should’ve. Please, don’t end the call.” Taehyung hurries to say. Jungkook looks down,
his free hand twirling the loose threads on the rips of his pants. “Where did you go this morning? I
was worried…”
“I uhm, I left to see Namjoon…” Jungkook shares. “He called because someone canceled, and he
had that open period… I agreed to go today instead, uhm, since I didn’t have anything to do early
in the morning.”
“So, you weren’t with someone else?” Taehyung asks with relief in his voice, but Jungkook
doesn’t even process the question properly, only lets out a questioning sound. “Nothing, never
mind that, it’s— Forget that.”
Jungkook tugs on his bottom lip with his teeth, sighing. “We have a lot to talk about once I get
home.” he whispers.
“Yes, we do.” Taehyung agrees right away. “I’m so upset that I couldn’t wish you good luck for
your first day. I wish that I could’ve done it, and— and I wasn’t able to… I feel horrible.”
“You can wish me good luck now.”
“It’s not the same thing, hyung. I wanted to do it in person.” he defends his point, and Jungkook
can hear that adorable pout in his voice, which is always the most adorable thing ever.
“Don’t worry about it, love.” he assures. “It’s okay.”
On the other side, Taehyung smiles at the endearing name. “I want you to imagine me right there
with you, giving you a big kiss and wishing you the best luck for today. Alright?” Jungkook closes
his eyes, picturing it. “I’m telling you how awesome you are, and how much you’re going to nail
today…” he adds.
“Do I get another kiss after you say that?” Jungkook tries to play along, though he’s a little nervous
over what answer he may get. They’re not on the best terms, and Taehyung might not be in the
mood for his nonsense.
However, “No, you get two kisses.”

“I love you.” Jungkook whispers, looking down again.
“I Moon you, too.” Taehyung giggles at his own words. “Say it back.”
“Fuck, no. I’ll never say that.” they both laugh, albeit quietly, only to let the silence win right after.
It’s completely quiet for a couple of seconds, both holding onto their phones as they wait for the
other to say something.
“Good luck with your classes.” Taehyung is the one to break the silence.
“Thank you…” Jungkook whispers, closing his eyes. “I hate it when we fight.”
“I do, too… And, by the way, your coffee wasn’t that bad.” Jungkook does laugh at that, which
positively makes Taehyung’s mood skyrocket. “It was a little too sweet, but it was good.”
“I didn’t want to be too mean.” Jungkook admits. “I hate to end the call, but I have to go. My first
class starts in five minutes, and I’m sitting on a bench with no sense of direction whatsoever. I’m
not sure or where the classroom is, even though we came here a few days ago. I’m, like, lost as
shit, but I’ll get there, I think.”
“I’d help you if I were there.” Taehyung says through a frown. “I wish that I could just skip work,
but I can’t, so you’ll have to manage to find your way around today.”
“I’ll be fine.” Jungkook shrugs. “Will you be home when I get there?”
“Yeah, of course.”
“Promise…?”
“I promise. I’ll be there.”
“Okay, then.” Jungkook nods. “I’ll see you at home, petal.”
Taehyung giggles. “That’s a new one. I like that one.”
“Noted.” Jungkook chuckles, only for the line to fall silent once again. “I can’t fucking end the
call. I can’t press the damn button, this is so stupid.”
“I can’t, either. I’m afraid that— What if we’re not ok… later?”
“I promise you that we’ll be ok.” Jungkook assures, certain of his words. “Please, promise me the
same thing.”
“I promise.” Taehyung says without missing a beat, and Jungkook’s shoulders feel lighter. “I’ll
end the call now… Bye, hyungie. Have a good day, and good luck…”
“Bye, my love…” he whispers back, but it still takes them almost a full minute before they’re able
to end the call, and Jungkook really does have to run to his first classroom so that he won’t be late.
At least, after the phone call, his entire body feels way more relaxed, and he feels ready to face his
first day head-on.
│►
“...and this first year won’t be as hard as you’d imagine. If you have the right bases from high
school, then you won’t have a problem blending in with these new materials. Still, you need to
focus and to study properly, or you’ll most definitely fail my class.” the professor says, walking
through the main aisle, and Jungkook watches with interested eyes.
Bases from high school. He doesn’t really have those anymore.
“For the older people here that have left high school some time ago, don’t worry. With focus and
dedication, you’ll do great. This course has a high level of dropouts, given how hard it can be as a
whole, so my only advice is to not lose focus, and keep your head straight, in the books. If you start
losing the thread, it’ll be very hard to catch up again. Take my advice, take your notes, and listen to
your professors.”
“Are you regretting your decisions, too?” Jungkook turns to his side, facing the classmate to his
right. The younger man is leaning towards him so that he can speak in a quiet tone, and he looks
scared.
“Not really.” Jungkook chuckles. “Are you?”
“Abso-fucking-lutely.” the other answers, scribbling some random lines onto the page of his
notepad. “Like, really, why did I decide to take this fucking class?” he stresses. “Am I even in the
right classroom right n—”
“Dude, relax, we’ve been here for ten minutes.” Jungkook interrupts. “I’m sure that you’re in the
right place. Auditorium three, science block. This is physics of engineering, so if that’s not the
class that you were meant to attend, then just leave discreetly so that you don’t look like a fool.”
“I’m in the right place…” he sighs, a little relieved. “You see, I barely graduated. My grades
weren’t all that, but my mom works here and so she pulled some strings for me to study what I
wanted to…” the young student shares. “Now that I’m here, listening to this old man, I’m starting
to think that I’m utterly fucked.”
“Maybe just try to focus from the start. It’s the first day, don’t stress.” he suggests, turning back to
the front as he expects the conversation to end there. He does try to focus on the encouraging
speech that the professor is giving, but he can see his classmate looking at him every two seconds,
and can almost guess that he’s thinking of how to word something.
“How old are you?” it comes then, just as expected. “You don’t look, or sound, like you just came
right out of high school…”
Jungkook looks at him, shrugs. “I’m eighteen.” he lies, trying not to smile.
“Bullshit.” the other is quick to say. “How old are you actually?”
“Twenty.”
“I can tell from your face that you’re lying again.”
“Fine. I’m twenty-eight.” Jungkook admits with a quiet chuckle.
“Damn, you’re ten whole years older than me.” his classmate comments with a little hiss. “My
name’s Yunseok. Everyone calls me Yun, so feel free to do the same, if you’d like, I don’t mind
it.”
“Yun is my ex-girlfriend’s name, so I’ll call you by your full name.” he has to reject the idea. “I’m
Jungkook, by the way.”
“So, Jungkook, tell me, why are you studying now? I mean, it’s cool that you’re studying now, but
it still makes me wonder a few things, you know? Why now?” Yunseok asks, leaning a little closer
with his eyes filled with genuine curiosity.
“I’m just trying to get my life straight.” he decides to go with the easiest explanation, so that he can
avoid actually explaining anything.
“Why? Are you gay?” Jungkook looks at him, silent, and clearly not impressed by the joke, but the
other snorts. “C’mon, it was funny.”
“I’m bisexual, actually.”
Yunseok shuts his mouth, laugh ceasing. “Oh. That’s— cool. I was just joking, by the way. I’m
cool with that, I treat you guys like you’re the same. Not that you’re different— I mean—”
“I get it. You don’t have to start sweating over this, I could tell that you were joking.” Jungkook
chuckles. “You talk too much.”
“I’ve heard that a lot.” the younger student admits with a hum. “I moved from another city to
study, so I don’t really know anyone here apart from my roommates and my mom… My
roommates are messy as hell, but it’s good to have company. Do you live by yourself? Wait, do
you work? Since you’re older— Sorry, I’m being too nosy…”
“I do work, I have rent to pay.” he shrugs. “I also live with my boyfriend, so I get what you mean
when you say that it’s good to have company.”
“Oh, you’re living together already? It sounds serious. How long have you two been together for?”
Yunseok asks, interested.
Jungkook scratches the back of his neck. “Uhm, four days…?” he squints. “Yeah, that sounds
fucking ridiculous. You see, we were best friends before getting together so, like, there’s a lot of
backstory, and we lived together before falling for each other… We didn’t just move in together
the day that we started dating.”
“Oh, that sounds like those movies.”
“It’s—”
“Can you two be quiet, please?” a girl, sitting in front of them, turns to face them with a scowl,
eyebrows knitted together in irritation.
“We’re sorry.” Jungkook immediately says. She simply huffs and turns back around to face the
front. “We should focus now…”
“We should. Shall we hang out between periods?”
Jungkook gives it a thought. “Yeah.”
│►
Jungkook waits by the side of the door, waiting for confirmation that he’s in the right classroom.
Yunseok said that he has the same class as he does, so Jungkook’s just waiting to see him and have
it confirmed that he’s not about to make a fool out of himself.
There’s a girl leaning on the wall a few feet away from him, and she gives him a smile when their
eyes meet, tucking her hair behind her ear. He can tell flirting from a mile away, and so he just
offers a polite smile before looking away from her entirely; he doesn’t want to send the wrong
message and seem interested when he’s not.
He spots Yunseok soon after: he’s on a phone call, gesturing with his free hand, and Jungkook
takes his presence as enough confirmation that he is in the right classroom.
Picking a seat is easier this time around. The classroom is smaller, not having to fit that many
people given that significantly fewer students pick advanced mathematics — unless they truly have
to.
“Is this seat taken?” he looks up, seeing the same girl from a few minutes prior. She doesn’t wait
for an answer, already dragging the chair back while putting her bag on the desk. “Hey.” she
greets.
“Hi.” Jungkook greets back, his eyes focusing on the professor that he can see entering the
classroom with a stack of papers under his arm. There’s an unimpressed look on his face, which is
alarming, considering that it’s the first day, the first class.
“Good morning, class.” the man greets, uncaring for the students that have yet to find their seats. “I
hope that you’re ready for an evaluative test that I always pass around on the first day, so that I can
have a general idea of what level you guys are starting from.” he adds, leaving the papers on his
desk.
Jungkook scratches the back of his neck, growing nervous all of a sudden. It’s been a long time
since he’s last tried to solve a math problem, whereas everyone around him looks fresh out of high
school. He’s not looking forward to being that guy at the bottom of the list, with the worst results.
“I didn’t know that we’d be doing tests already.” the girl comments, and he hums, watching as the
professor starts passing the papers around. “Math sucks…”
He gives her a look. “Not really…” as the professor leaves his sheet on his desk, he tunes out of his
surroundings so that he can take a first glance, see what’s waiting for him. If he comes to the
realization that he can’t solve a single problem, he’ll just get up and leave, give up before even
starting the course.
“Do you know math?” she asks, leaning a little closer as Jungkook looks for his pencil.
“Used to.” he responds absent-mindedly, not looking away from his paper. The first question looks
easy, and so he starts writing down with confidence that he didn’t even know he still had. Much to
his distaste, he can still hear his classmate mumbling things to herself that sound like complaints
and curse words, which come off as a distraction that he doesn’t need or want. “Why are you
taking math if you hate it?” he has to ask, looking at her.
“I need it to pass the course, but I’m most definitely going to struggle a lot. Math has never been
my forte.” she explains, and Jungkook simply hums. “You could help me…”
“This is a test… so, no.” Jungkook looks back down at his paper sheet, slightly covering it with his
body so that he can go on without having her copy anything. The test isn’t hard, at least not as hard
as he expected it to be, but some questions do have him staring ahead at the wall — and erasing
things, only to re-write them five times — as he tries to remember how to properly solve them.
High school was a long time ago, and he’s never needed math since then.
“Hey.” he hears after thirty minutes of peaceful silence.

“Jesus fucking— What?”
“Here.” she slides something over, a piece of paper folded neatly. “Open after this class.”
“Ok…?” Jungkook eyes the paper, suspicious, but puts it in his pocket. Unsurprisingly, his
curiosity gets the best of him less than ten seconds after, thus why he reaches for it again. He lets
out a sigh once all that he finds is a poorly drawn winky face, and a phone number that he won’t be
calling.
He’ll just write a mental note to trash it after the class ends.
“Twenty minutes to go.”
“Shit.”
│►
Jungkook takes his hand to the doorknob, but chickens out before he gets to open it. “Goddamn
it…” he mumbles, taking a few steps away from the door, only to walk up to it again. “Just tell him
what you told Namjoon. You got this, Jungkook.” he tells himself, wiping his sweaty palms on his
hoodie before opening the already unlocked door.
Moon is already waiting for him, tongue out and tail wagging, and Jungkook takes his sweet time
greeting her given that Taehyung isn’t on the couch — which is something that he was rather afraid
of. The longer he can drag this out, the better. He’s nervous, and he could puke if he thinks too
much about what is about to happen.
He heads for the bathroom, the dog following him as per usual. His reflection doesn’t look as
terrified as he’s feeling, but his eyes do look darker with the tired bags under them. He didn’t sleep
well, only able to fall asleep after one too many sips of whiskey, and he’s in desperate need of a
nap.
“Hyung? Is that you?” he hears Taehyung’s voice.
“Yeah… Just a second.” he gulps, opening the faucet to splash some cold water on his face. “You
got this.” he whispers to himself yet again as he wipes his face clean with a dry towel. “Just be
fucking honest with him.” is what he says last, afore leaving the bathroom to head to their shared
room.
Taehyung’s sitting on the bed with a few psychology books and notepads around him. “Hey.”
“If you’re busy, I can— I can go. We can talk later…” he gestures.
“Nonsense, hyung, I’m never busy for you. Come here.” Taehyung closes his book, gathering
everything to put aside and make space for Jungkook to sit next to him. The elder does sit, his
hands on his lap. “Are you ready to talk to me now? If not, we can… we can make a pause. We can
have dinner, and then talk about this. We can pause.”
Jungkook shakes his head. “No, I want to get this over with, I fucking hate not being ok with you.”
he sighs. “I’ll just warn you that this may make zero sense…”
“I’ll do my absolute best to understand.” Taehyung smiles. “You can tell me what’s going on up
there.” he whispers, touching Jungkook’s forehead before threading his fingers through his long,
black hair.
“I just… I feel like I don’t deserve you.” Jungkook starts, gently removing Taehyung’s hand from
his hair to make sure that he’s paying attention. “I’m insecure, Tae. I make jokes all the time, and
I’m confident, but I’m also really scared and insecure when it comes to a few things. You’re not the
only one. I’m scared that you may open your eyes and realize that you don’t… need me, realize
how much better you could do if you wanted to look for someone else. I didn’t want to talk last
night, because I didn’t know how to word this without sounding insane or obsessive or— I don’t
know. I just needed Namjoon to help me sort these thoughts out. He told me to be honest, so here I
am.”
“Can I tell you why I was upset last night, so that we can get over that part and fully focus on how
you feel?” the blonde requests, and Jungkook nods. “After Hyungsik, the thought of being lied to
again, of not knowing what’s going on in my own relationship, scares me a lot. When you closed
off and decided not to talk to me, even when I knew that I had done something, it made me feel…
paranoid, and insecure.” he explains. “When you disappeared this morning, my brain started
messing with me, I thought that you could’ve left to do… things behind my back, as he always did.
Even more so when we had disagreements…”
“Do you mean cheating?” Taehyung looks away. “Baby, look at me. Don’t you ever, ever, think
about it. I can promise you, assure you, fucking guarantee you, that I will never do anything of the
sort. I don’t cheat, and never will.” but the younger man still doesn’t meet his eyes. “I kissed you
while I was dating Yun, and it still haunts me to this day. I will never forgive myself for it, but I
also didn’t hide it from her, or lied about what happened. I fucking promise you that you’ll never
have to worry about me being unfaithful.”
“I trust you, they’re irrational thoughts…” Taehyung sighs. “I’m just telling you, because this is
why I got upset last night, it wasn’t for no reason. This is why I reacted as poorly as I did, when I
shouldn’t.”
“I understand it now, baby, it’s ok.” Jungkook assures, kissing the back of Taehyung’s hand. “I
need to explain why I even flipped the way that I did. When I said that we had a contract to be
together forever, or whatever the fuck my words were, and you kind of mocked it, it just fueled the
thought of you not wanting me, you not seeing a future with me… because I see one with you. I see
you in my forever…”
“But I do see a future with you, I was just joking. I can’t believe that— God, you were so sad
because of that, why didn’t you just tell me that it had bothered you so much?” Taehyung frowns.
“I was joking.”
“A part of me knew that you were just taking the piss, so you wouldn’t have changed anything by
telling me that it was a joke.” Jungkook sighs. “It’s so stupid. The way that my brain panics over
everything and anything, and sends me back to the Jungkook that couldn’t open up with you, is
fucking stupid. Especially because I make no sense.”
“You do. I understand what you’re telling me. It’s incorrect, but it makes sense. I couldn’t do better
than you, so I’d love it if you stopped thinking that way about yourself.”
“C’mon, Tae. You could get a richer man, a man who’s mentally stable… a man who’s more
handsome— No, that one’s hard to do, I’m pretty fucking hot.” Taehyung giggles at the
suddenness, unconsciously playing with Jungkook’s fingers. “But you could do better, so I don’t
understand what you’re doing with me. I love you, so much that if you told me that you’d like to
find someone better, someone who deserves you, I’d support you, but— but the simple thought
scares the shit out of me. I love you enough to accept, but not to let you go. Am I selfish for this?”
“Jungkook, stop.” Taehyung frowns, dragging himself closer. “I don’t want anyone else, please,
stop talking about yourself like this.” Jungkook’s heart aches as he notices the little tears in the
other’s eyes. “It’s you, you’re the only one that I want. No one else.”
“What if you don’t, though?” he whispers. “You only found me to be of interest when I confessed,
so… so how can we be sure that this isn’t just you going… uhm, along with it? How can we be
sure that we’ll last? That this isn’t just temporary…?” his voice wavers, eyes growing a little red,
too.
“I can’t promise you that we’ll be together forever, I can’t promise that we’ll get married one day,
and that everything will be sunshine and rainbows, because it has never been that way with us,
anyway. The future is uncertain, hyung. I never even thought that I’d see you again, let alone be
your boyfriend. What I know, at this moment, with full certainty, is that I want a future with you,
and that if the future allows us to have that forever together, then I don’t want it any other way.
What I feel for you is genuine, it goes beyond anything I’ve ever felt for anyone, and I don’t want
you to think any other way just because it took me a bigger push to realize that I had liked you for
a long time. Maybe as long as you liked me.”
Jungkook sighs. “This is probably not a good thing to admit, but I’d honestly be lost if you left me
now. Promise me that even if the future makes us break up, if the future isn’t as kind to us as we’d
like it to, we’ll, at least, remain friends. You mean too much to me, I just— I need you in my life,
at this point.”
“I don’t want to think of a future where we’re not together but, if I have to, then yes. I promise you
that we’ll be friends. I can’t lose you, either.” Taehyung says with a reassuring smile.
Jungkook smiles with his eyes closed. “I’m glad that we talked this out. I’m sorry for how I
behaved last night… I was an asshole to you. You didn’t deserve it. I was cursing too much, and—
I’m sorry. I love you.”
Taehyung shakes his head. “I’m sorry, too. I wasn’t any better.” he leans closer, joining their lips in
a slow, short-lived kiss. “Is there anything else bothering you? You can tell me, let’s just get
everything out in the open.”
“The way that you want us to be a secret. I understand your reasoning, and I don’t want to be the
controlling boyfriend that disagrees and tells you what you have to do, but it bothers me. There, I
said it.”
“Does it really bother you?” Jungkook nods. “You should’ve told me sooner, I only asked to keep
it a secret because I thought that you didn’t mind… Hyung, I’m not embarrassed of you or of our
relationship, so if it bothers you, then we won’t keep it a secret anymore. We’ll stop hiding it from
others.”
“You’re only changing your mind because I’m saying this.” he frowns.
“I’m nervous, but you’re by my side. I’m not embarrassed of you, nor am I ashamed of dating you.
We can tell everyone, I truly don’t mind. You’re my boyfriend, my very attractive, and very smart
boyfriend, and I’m not ashamed of that. We can start telling people.” he smiles, circling
Jungkook’s shoulders with his arms.
“Are you sure? Because I’ve been dying to fucking— yell to the whole world that you’re my
boyfriend.”
“Now you can.” Jungkook inhales, and Taehyung is quick to press a hand flat over his mouth.
“Shush.” he giggles, feeling the way that the elder smiles under his palm. “Not like that, you
dummy.”
Jungkook kisses Taehyung’s palm, gently pulling it away. “Can we never go to bed angry again?
Let’s make that promise here and now. We’ll talk shit out instead of going to sleep with our backs
to each other, angry.”
“I agree with that wholeheartedly. Never going to bed angry again.”
“Good.” Jungkook nods, pulling the other down into a lying position. “I missed you. I was so
worried. I don’t want us to be mad at each other, I want to be with you until we’re old and can
barely walk… my hair isn’t as luscious anymore…” Taehyung hums, lying his head down on the
elder’s strong chest. “I want you to be there when I can’t get my pants up because my back is all
rusty and broken.” Taehyung laughs. “When I can’t slap your peach, or you’ll dislocate your hip
—”
“Shut up!” Taehyung cackles. “My peach will be flat by then, you won’t want to slap it.”
Jungkook shakes his head. “It’s impossible.”
“It’s just how bodies work, or do you think that you’ll have a six-pack when you’re eighty?”
“Can you please let me believe that I won’t be some saggy raisin when I’m older?” Jungkook looks
down at him with an eyebrow raised. “I’m almost thirty, so I’m not that far off from retirement at
this point, and I have to hold onto the hope that I’ll be good looking when I get old. My body is the
only thing that I have going for me.”
“That’s not true at all. You’re amazing.” Taehyung tries to sit up, but Jungkook pulls him back
down.
“Just tell me that my abdominal muscles won’t go away. I can go bald, but the six-pack stays.”
Taehyung lifts Jungkook’s shirt just enough to see the muscles in question, and he pokes each
square-shaped muscle; all six of them. Jungkook simply watches, amused. “They’ll stay, right?”
“Yes, Jungkook, these will stay until the day that you die.” Taehyung lies. “But you also better not
lose your hair. It’s the only reason why I’m even dating you.” he jokes.
“That’s how I feel about your butt, so don’t say that it’s going to disappear, or I’ll have no reason
to keep working on this relationship.” Jungkook tries to speak with the most serious expression
ever, though he fails miserably, and ends up snorting as he taps Taehyung’s butt twice.
Taehyung’s cheeks redden, suddenly shy. “Just tell me about your first day.” he requests, letting
Jungkook’s hand stay exactly where it is, on the curve where his upper thigh meets his butt, just
mindlessly resting.
“A girl gave me her number.” Jungkook shares. “I trashed it, I swear.”
“I’m not worried, I trust you.” Taehyung smiles, kissing his chest through his shirt. “Was she
pretty?”
“I don’t think that you’re supposed to ask me that.” he blinks.
The blonde shrugs. “It’s healthy to be free in a relationship. You can still look at other people, I
won’t be mad. You don’t suddenly become blind just because we’re dating. I’m being healthy
here… Was she pretty?”
“Uhm… I guess so, but I didn’t look at her like that. My eyes are for you only.”
“Hm, I see.” Taehyung stretches himself enough to kiss him on the lips, nuzzling their noses
together for a brief moment. Jungkook makes him feel so loved and respected that it’s hard to
comprehend at times. “Now, tell me about your actual day. I don’t really care about a girl giving
you her number… You’re hot, that’s not surprising.”
“I just thought that you should know.” Jungkook clarifies. “I’ll tell you everything, it was so
interesting. I fucking loved the physics class, and— Why are you making that face?”
“I hate physics.”
Jungkook cringes. “You’re lame.”
“And you’re a nerd.”
“The hottest nerd ever, then.”
“Now that was lame.” Taehyung judges. “Just start telling me about your day.”
“Now I don’t feel like it.”
“Oh, c’mon—”
│►
Chapter End Notes
I have a question,,, what's your honest opinion on their relationship?

◄│ 62 │►
Chapter Notes
Jungkook turns off his alarm as soon as he hears it, sitting up so that he doesn’t risk falling back
asleep. He rubs his eyes, contemplating whether to get up or just lie back down for another hour
with his boyfriend in his arms, but decides that he doesn’t want to be late for work for the first
time.
He looks down at Taehyung’s peaceful sleeping form, his pretty lips pulled up together in a tiny
pout that makes him smile. The light is faint, the window is almost closed, so the sunlight can
barely come through. Jungkook takes his hand to the mess of blonde hair all over the pillow, fixing
it a little. Taehyung looks adorable when he’s asleep.
It’s hard not to bend down and kiss him, an impossible task, which is why he’s unable to resist the
urge. He presses a gentle kiss to Taehyung’s lips, followed by one to his forehead. Then, he gets
up, sleepily making his way to his wardrobe to get the first outfit that comes to his hands — a pair
of ripped black jeans, a black hoodie and black shoes to pull it all together. He puts it on quickly.
He leaves his sweatpants and tee-shirt on the pillow before exiting the bedroom, only to be
immediately met by a happy Moon wagging her tail at him. “Good morning, you big girl.” he
greets, rubbing her ears and the fur along her torso. “Belly rubs? You like belly rubs?” his voice
goes an octave higher as he plays with her. “You’re so cute. C’mon, I’ll feed you.” he taps his
thigh for her to follow, and he’s positively surprised to hear a meow coming from behind them.
“You’re hungry, too? Little thing getting up this early? Weird.”
Jungkook’s well aware that he’d look crazy to anyone, talking to his pets as if they have the littlest
clue of what he’s saying, but that doesn’t stop him from continuing as he fills up their bowls. Once
done, he stands with his hands on his hips as he thinks of what to cook for breakfast.
He’s not hungry, so a single apple on the way to work would suffice for him, but he has to cook
something for Taehyung to eat after waking up. Jungkook ends up settling on some scrambled
eggs, and leaves three slices of bread already on the toaster so that Taehyung only has to push that
one single button to toast them.
Taehyung loves orange juice in the morning, and Jungkook knows that very well, so he makes sure
to squeeze oranges into a glass cup with enough space for one or two ice cubes in case the younger
man wants to add them. He makes sure to prepare everything neatly, and leave it out of Moon’s
reach.
Jungkook strides back into the bedroom, bending down next to the bed. He gently combs
Taehyung’s bangs away from his face. “I love you…” it’s said in a whisper as his lips kiss the
younger man’s cheek — he’s careful, but apparently not enough not to wake Taehyung up.
“Where are you headed so early…?” Taehyung asks with a sleepy smile, and Jungkook swears that
he’ll never get used to his morning voice; it’s raspy and even deeper, and it’s warm and relaxing.
“I have work now. Three hours.” Jungkook whispers, unwilling to ruin the comfortable silence in
the room, hand still caressing Taehyung’s cheek. “Then I have classes, and then I’ll go back to
work for five more hours. I’ll be home late today… Hopefully not too late, though.” he explains.
“Don’t overwork yourself…” the blonde reprehends. “We need you healthy and with loads of
energy…” he adds as he reaches for Jungkook’s pillow to hold, and the aforementioned swears that
he feels his chest swelling with the way that Taehyung seems to relax even more as soon as he
breathes in his cologne.
“Don’t worry, my love.” Jungkook assures. “I’ll come home as soon as I can, alright?”
“Mhm…” Taehyung nods with his eyes closed.
“Sleep well, baby.”
“Good luck with your classes…” he wishes, smiling at the new kiss pressed to his forehead, and
simply hugs his boyfriend’s pillow tighter when he hears him walk away to finish getting ready.
Brushing his teeth and styling his hair doesn’t take him longer than five minutes altogether, so he’s
able to leave soon after.
He’s halfway through the front door when his phone rings in his pocket, and Eunjae’s picture fills
the screen. “Where are you?!” she asks as soon as he picks up, not even giving him the time for a
greeting.
“I’m leaving my apartment. Good morning to you, too.” he chuckles. “Why do you ask?”
“Good morning— I scored a date. I think. I’m not fucking sure… Can you hurry up?! I don’t know
how to reply to texts.” she shrieks, and Jungkook finds himself cackling as he skips down the
stairs. “I mean, I can help when it’s with other people, but not myself. I can’t fucking flirt
confidently, and you’re confident, so get here already. Please.”
“I don’t quite know what’s making you think that I’m going to be of any help with this.” Jungkook
comments. “I have to approve of her first, that’s my first concern. You’re not going out with
someone who—”
“Drop the ‘older brother’ speech, dude, I need help getting a girlfriend. You have a boyfriend,
you’ll know how to help me in this moment of crisis.” Eunjae interrupts, but it only entertains him
even more.
“I didn’t get my boyfriend by going on dates, nor did I get him by pulling at his heartstrings
through texts. I’m not a texter, you saw how I didn’t know what to say to Yun. I’m a flirt in person,
texts aren’t my thing.” he explains, taking it a little more seriously. “You know damn well how
Tae and I got together, why are you asking me for help?”
“Well, just come give me moral support. We have, what, three hours before you go to your classes,
and that’s more than enough for me to actually secure this date.”
Jungkook hums. “I’m on my way. Get my coffee ready.”
Eunjae sends him a little kiss. “I shall.”
│►
“Hey, you.” Jungkook lifts his head, his hand coming to a stop where it was writing a series of
numbers on his notepad. “Can you help me out with question five?” the girl, the same one that
bothered him three days ago, asks with a shy smile on her lips. “I can’t figure out the answer, and I
looked at your paper… so I know that you’ve already finished that one, so you could explain it to
me.”
“Sure, it’s quite simple.” he nods, leaning a little closer so that he can write down on her own paper
sheet. Once again, his hand is quick when writing the numbers, circling and underlining some of
the parts to be able to explain it better. “—and you just eliminate these ones, because—” he stops
when he gets the weird feeling of being watched, and looks back up to see her already looking at
him, not paying any attention to the explanation.
“Keep going.” she gestures.
“Were you even listening?”
“Totally. Big brains are attractive… and your voice sounds nice this close to me.”
Jungkook sighs, leaning back away from her. “Thank you for making me waste time that I could’ve
put into finishing my work.” he complains, though it’s almost a mumble; he doesn’t want to be
rude to her, but he couldn’t be less interested in her advances. “I thought that you actually wanted
help.”
“I do want help. I want help understanding why you didn’t text me… I checked the number three
times before handing it over, so I know that it was the correct one.” she pouts. “Are you playing
hard to get?”
“Listen, I didn’t want to be rude that other day, but you’re leaving me no choice. I’m not single,
and I’m not interested, so back off.”
“I can keep a secret… She doesn’t have to know.”
“He for sure has to know. Well, he’s not going to know anything, because nothing is going to
happen.”
The girl raises an eyebrow, head tilted to the side. “You’re gay?” she asks, giving him a shameless
once-over. “Maybe that’s because you’ve never tried this. It’d make you change your mind really
fast.” Jungkook’s jaw slacks, both from shock and disbelief. “You’re too hot to be gay, to be
honest…”
“My boyfriend thinks that I’m hot, too.” he forces a smile that falls right away. “You’re being
disrespectful.”
“I’m not being disrespectful, I don’t have anything against gay people… I just think that it’s a
shame and a big loss that a man like you is into… other men.” his classmate tries to justify, but it
only sounds worse. “I can be your taste-test, I’m sure that you’d switch teams ag—”
“Ok, fuck it, listen.” Jungkook turns to her, eyebrows knitted together in visible irritation. “It’s not
that I’m not into women, because I’m bisexual, but I have a boyfriend, so I’m not into anyone else.
I have a partner that I really, really love, so stop being disrespectful towards both my relationship
and my sexuality, and stop embarrassing yourself. I’m not available, nor am I curious to ‘try’
something that I’ve had countless times before. Focus on the damn lesson, and stop trying. My
answer isn’t going to change. I’m taken. Got it?” his voice comes out stern, just as intended.
“Just… keep my number.”
“I threw it in the trash.” he says, ending the conversation there, and he turns back to the front.
There’s a hand on his head seconds after that, messing up his hair. “Hey.”
“Not my hair—!” Jungkook complains, trying to fix it as Yunseok places his things on the table
next to him. “I hate it when people touch my hair, don’t do that again.”
“Noted. It just looked too good, I had to mess it up.” the younger man admits with a cackle, and
Jungkook rolls his eyes with a little smile. “What’s the task for today? I’m kind of late.” he asks,
sitting down.
“Kind of? It’s been half an hour.” Jungkook accuses. “But it’s not much, he just assigned the
exercises from this sheet…” he gestures to his own. “He’ll probably give us more once we finish…
I don’t know.”
“Can I use yours? He’ll probably get mad if I ask for one now.”
“Yeah, sure.” he slides the paper closer, it now being between both of their notepads.
“Take this.” Jungkook hears as a finger touches his arm, and he turns to see the girl holding another
piece of paper that has been neatly folded. He’s ready for another rant, to go ahead and tell her to
leave him alone, and maybe use two or three insults, but Yunseok reaches for the paper before he
can.
“Is this a phone number— It is. He’s got a boyfriend, leave him alone.”
“Are you the boyfriend?” she asks, annoyed.
“No, I’m a friend.” Yunseok tsks. “Keep that shit, he’s not interested.” he hands the paper back,
dragging Jungkook’s chair closer to his own for added effect. “Wait, you’re not interested, are
you? I’m all for loyalty, so I assumed—”
“Dude, no, not at all.” Jungkook frowns. “Thanks for that, by the way. She wasn’t fucking
dropping it, telling me that no one had to know, and that she could keep it a secret… like I’d even
look at anyone other than my boyfriend.”
“Hm… What does your boyfriend look like?”
“He’s got blonde hair… like, light blonde. He’s the prettiest guy ever.” Jungkook explains, his eyes
unfocusing as he stares at the nearest wall, mind overtaken by the vivid image of how Taehyung
looked in their bed, sleeping soundly as he got ready to leave. “Yeah.”
“Wow, that’s so descriptive. I have a fully formed image of him in my head now.”
“I don’t know how to explain it, he’s just— he’s fucking perfect, and I’m not even exaggerating.
He has the straightest, most perfect nose, a strong jaw, beautiful eyes… He has a few beauty marks
on his face, like, one on his cheek, and one on the tip of his nose, which is fucking adorable, and
—”
“Your eyes, oh, God.” Yunseok interrupts, covering his mouth so that he doesn’t snort aloud.
“You’re so gone.”
Jungkook sighs, resting his chin on his palm. “Yeah, I am…”
His friend smiles. “This is so wholesome…”
│►
“I’m the one paying for lunch today.” Jimin informs as soon as they sit down at the table, and
Taehyung frowns at that. “Nope, don’t try. It wasn’t a question, I was informing you two of a fact.”
The blonde rolls his eyes with a little smile, leaving his jacket on the back of his chair. “Alright,
but the next time will be on me.” he states, as a matter-of-factly. “This is also a fact, not a
question.”
“We need to start keeping count.” Hoseok suggests, and the three of them reach for the menus on
the table so that they can scan the options, but Taehyung’s mind is somewhere else.
He clears his throat. “I have something to tell you guys.” his best friends look up at him, curious.
“It’s, uhm, I don’t know how you’ll react to it, but I hope that you’ll at least try to… understand.”
The couple shares a puzzled look. “We’ll certainly do our best.”
“What is it?” Hoseok adds.
“I’m not single anymore.” Taehyung shares, and they both gasp. “I haven’t been single since New
Year’s, and I’ve finally found the courage to just say it aloud, without caring about what anyone
thinks.” he admits with a little smile dancing on his lips. There’s a bubble of nerves in his stomach,
but he knows that they like Jungkook, so the chances of them being supportive are high. Right?
“What—?!” Hoseok almost shrieks.
“Oh, God, poor Jungkook.” Jimin lets out, involuntarily, only to cover his mouth once he realizes
his mistake. His fiancé is quick to look at him with his eyes widening even further, if possible, and
Taehyung raises an eyebrow. “Shit, never mind. I mean— Forget it.” he quickly tries to dismiss it,
but he can tell that it doesn’t work.
“What do you mean by that?” Taehyung asks, though he’s aware that Jimin knew — Jungkook did
tell him about how Jimin helped pick his Christmas gift, so he simply wants to get the truth out of
his best friend’s mouth. “I’m seriously confused here, so explain yourself, please.”
“Jesus, I promised hyung that I wouldn’t tell you or anyone about this!” Jimin whines, but he can
tell how incriminating that sounds. “Jungkook likes you… Or more, he’s in love with you, but he
should be the one t—”
“I know that, but how do you know?” he pushes further, his eyes squinting, and Hoseok’s jaw can’t
possibly hang lower than it is now; he’s never been this confused and shocked at the same time.
“Hold up— You know?” Jimin blinks, unable to catch up. “Jungkook confessed? Did he go
forward with the Christmas confession, or was it after? He didn’t tell me anything about it, so I was
left to think that he had chickened out…” he tilts his head. “I’ve been so sad since the holidays,
knowing that you two aren’t together, but unsure whether he had been rejected by you, or simply
hadn’t even confessed.”
“I’ll tell you about it, but you’ll have to explain your involvement in the whole thing.”
“Deal.” Jimin quickly agrees.
“So, basically, he confessed to me on Christmas Eve, and we’ve been exploring our relationship
ever since. We didn’t give ourselves a label then, because I asked not to, but on New Year’s, he
asked me to be his boyfriend… and I said yes without even thinking twice.” Taehyung explains
with a sparkle in his eye.
“Wait, wait.” Hoseok finally gets his voice back. “Why didn’t you tell us?”
“I was scared because of everything that happened with Hyungsik… Besides, I wasn’t completely
sure about my feelings when he confessed. I took the time to really think about it, to really
experience my emotions with him, and he’s given me the space and freedom to be completely
honest. I’m more than sure now, and we’re getting more and more serious, so we both left as
though it was time to tell everyone.” he shrugs, smiling. “Jimin? Your turn.”
“God— Yes, cute, uhm, my involvement, yes.” he sits up straighter. “I was over at your place one
day, and he asked me what love was. You know, how it felt to be in love, and I explained as best as
I could. He freaked out then, it was his wake-up call, and he got scared about your reaction, and
afraid of ruining your friendship. I helped him drop a few hints after that, and even helped come up
with the mistletoe idea.” Jimin explains, honest. “I wanted to know if it had worked, but he didn’t
tell me anything… I’m guessing that it was because you decided to keep it a secret.”
“Yeah, we did…” Taehyung nods, fiddling with his rings for a moment. “Uhm, if you helped
him… Can I assume that you support our relationship? Because I-I’ve been afraid that you two
would just— I don’t know, I thought that you wouldn’t like the idea of me dating after Hyungsik.
Especially since it has only been a few months.”
“I’m pretty sure that I speak for both of us when I say that we support this relationship a hundred
percent.” Hoseok starts, looking at Jimin for confirmation; he nods, agreeing. “It was more than
obvious that you two love each other very much, but I’m still surprised to hear that it’s actually to
this extent. Surprised in a good way. I’m happy for you two, Tae. So happy.”
“No one will love you as much as that man does, and of that I’m sure.” Jimin adds. “We can see
how good you two are to each other, so there are zero reasons for us to not support your
relationship. Besides, we’ve been rooting for you since the day that he started telling you to leave
Hyungsik.” Taehyung gapes. “He’s a good man, with a good heart, and you two seem to fit
together perfectly. We support this completely.”
“This makes me so happy.” Taehyung can feel his shoulders relaxing. “It feels amazing to hear that
you two think that this is as much of a good decision as I believe and know that it is.”
“How is he, though?” Hoseok questions. “How does he treat you as a lover?”
“Yeah, how is he? Being friends and lovers is very different.”
“Uhm, I disagree with that. He was already incredible as a friend, and we were already very
close… He just— How do I even word this… He treats me like I’m the most precious thing in his
life. He’s really dreamy, I don’t know how to explain it. He’s perfect.” Taehyung shrugs, his
cheeks a pretty shade of pink.
“Can you now see how horrible Hyungsik was…?”
“Yeah, I do.” he sighs. “I just want to forget about him. I’m too happy to care about Hyungsik. I’m
really happy right now, with Jungkook. I know that no one else would be as understanding and
patient with me, and I can feel that he’s the one for me. I’m happy, and relieved, and what we have
is very healthy.”
Jimin coos. “Tell us more, please.”
“Well… He kisses me all the time, and he’s always making sure that I’m ok and comfortable… He
hugs me at every chance given, and I always feel so cared for when I’m with him. He— He gets up
early every single day to make me breakfast, even on the days that he doesn’t eat, and he’s always
attentive, protective.” Taehyung shares with a whipped smile, his eyes shining with every word.
“He never criticizes me, never judges. He’s so supportive. He’s just incredible, and I mean it. The
best boyfriend. He’s the best at everything.”
“We’ve never seen you this happy.”
“We can tell that Jungkook’s here to stay.”
“He is. I hope so, at least. I don’t know what I’d do without him now…”
│►
“…but I can’t understand what these numbers have to do with anything.” Yunseok mumbles,
fingers pressed to his forehead as he holds his head up, his pencil stopped against the sheet as he’s
unsure of what else to write. “It’s been a week, and I already can’t take this anymore.”
“My God, shut up.” Jungkook chuckles. “It’s not that hard, you’re too dramatic.” he jokes, leaning
closer. “I can—” his words are cut short when he feels his phone vibrating in his pocket. “Give me
a second…” he puts his pencil down to check the caller, only to see Taehyung’s picture on the
screen.
“Angel? Who’s that— Oh, your boyfriend.” Yunseok leans closer to check the picture. “He’s
handsome. Respectfully.”
“He knows that I’m in class, he wouldn’t call if— There’s something wrong. I have to take this.”
he urges.
“Hey, don’t stress, I’m sure that everything’s ok.” his classmate places a hand on his shoulder.
“You can just leave if you want to take the call, no one cares.” he gestures around the auditorium,
and Jungkook looks between him and the phone, the decision a little too easy to make.
Jungkook excuses himself before standing up, and no one even looks at him, so he quickly makes
his way out of the classroom. He’s thoroughly surprised to be able to pick up the call before it goes
to voicemail. “Hey, baby. Are you alright? Did anything happen?” he whispers, standing by the
door
“Why are you whisper— Oh, no, you’re in class. I’m so sorry, hyung, I completely forgot about
today’s schedule. I thought that you were heading back home. I’m sorry.” Taehyung apologizes,
and he can hear the pout in his voice. “I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry…”
“Don’t apologize, it’s ok. I’m glad that it’s nothing serious… What’s up?”
“I feel bad… It wasn’t anything serious, and I interrupted your lesson. I’m so sorry, hyungie. Don’t
be mad.”
“I’d never be mad at you. I left the classroom to take your call, so you can just tell me now. It
doesn’t matter whether it’s a big thing or not, it’s important to me, because you wanted to tell me.
You have my full interest.”
Taehyung doesn’t think that Jungkook could ever be more perfect, but he’s always positively
surprised. “I just wanted to tell you that I’ve told Jimin and Hobi about us.” Jungkook blinks.
“They know that we’re dating.”
“They know?” the blonde hums. “We’re— We’re not a secret anymore…?” Jungkook asks,
tentative. “We can just be ourselves without hiding? I can kiss you whenever the fuck I want, just
because?”
He giggles. “Yes, indeed. You can kiss me, I can kiss you, we can do whatever we want without
hiding.” he informs with an audible smile, and Jungkook runs a hand through his hair with a huge
grin of his own. “I’m truly sorry for interrupting your class, though. I could’ve just waited to tell
you.”
“No, stop apologizing. I needed a break from those long-ass calculations, anyway, and your voice
and good news are always welcome.”
“My smart man.” Taehyung says with another giggle. “I must let you go now, even if I never want
to hang up when it’s you on that side of the call.”
“As much as I hate calls, I feel the same. We sound like teenagers.” they both laugh at that, quiet
but bubbly. “I don’t know at what time I’ll be home, by the way, so I’m not sure if I’ll have dinner
with you… I might just grab something at the café before leaving.”
“That’s ok… but promise me that you won’t be doing this every day.” Taehyung sighs, worried.
“We don’t want you overworking yourself. If it gets too much, you’re either finding another job, or
quitting and focusing on school.”
“I can’t do that, I have bills to pay. I’m twenty-eight, I’m not going to rely on you, so don’t even
try to convince me of such a thing. Seojoon needed me today for longer because one of my
colleagues has a doctor’s appointment. He understands my college schedule, and we’ll work around
it as best as we can. I won’t work like this every day…”
“Good. We want you to feel strong and healthy…” Jungkook hums. “Take care of yourself, okay? I
don’t want a call from Eunjae, or whoever that you’re working with today, telling me that you
passed out from exhaustion.”
“I’ll be fine, I’ll be careful. I’ll eat well.” he assures. “I should go back… I love you. Eat well, too,
and drive safely when you head back home.”
“I will. Bye, hyungie.” Jungkook closes his eyes with an enamored smile when the younger makes
a sweet kissing sound to the microphone. “Go work that big brain of yours. Bye…!” he adds.
“Bye, love…” he whispers back.
Still, as per usual, it takes them another minute before they’re able to hang up.
│►
Jungkook hums a melody to himself as he wipes a plate clean, only to look up when he hears the
front door dinging with the entrance of two new customers. “I take one, and you take the other?”
he asks Jihan, who quickly nods. “Alright, I’ll get the old lady. She always comes in the morning,
so I know her well…”
“That’s fine, I’ll go to the dude.” they both walk around the counter, each going in different
directions. There are other people in the cozy coffee shop, almost all of the tables sporting, at least,
one customer, and the chatter is loud but mixed with the ambient music, so it’s not so bad. They’ve
all been served already, and they’re just enjoying their orders, or having a nice conversation.
“Well, hello again.” Jungkook greets her with a smile, and she gives him a puzzled look.
“Hello, darling.” she says, pushing her glasses back. “I saw you this morning, what are you still
doing here this late?” she asks with curiosity, but the smile on Jungkook’s face makes her forget
her own question, and continue without waiting for an answer. “You look very happy.”
“Today was a really good day. I’m tired, but I’m so happy that it makes up for it.” he shrugs.
“Would you like your usual?”
“Yes, please. A coffee with a little bit of milk, and two cinnamon biscuits.” the lady requests, and
Jungkook nods, bowing before he turns around. “Oh, and make sure to bring it over yourself, so
that you can tell me what makes today such a good day for you. I’ve never seen you this smiley.”
“I’ll be sure to bring it myself.” he bows again.
“The dude’s waiting for his date, so he didn’t order yet.” Jihan explains, reaching for a wet rag so
that he can pretend to do something. Everyone has been served, and he’s close to dying with
boredom.
“Well, then, can you put two cinnamon cookies on a plate for me, please?”
“Yeah, sure.” he nods, putting the rag down to do as asked. Jungkook makes sure to prepare the
lady’s coffee just as he knows to be to her liking; the right balance between warm milk and hot
coffee. When ready, he takes the mug and the plate to her table, putting them down with yet
another grin.
“You were frowning this morning, so what’s made your day so much better?” she asks.
“I went to college. Studying is something that I’ve always liked a lot, and it’s been making me
really happy since I went back. Especially because of the major that I’m working towards.”
Jungkook starts, his hands inside the pocket at the front of his apron, only his thumbs peeking out.
“You really should enjoy your coffee… My day wasn’t exciting for anyone but me, I think. It
won’t sound interesting.”
“Oh, please, my days are boring. Do tell me… What are you studying?”
“Engineering. I mean, it’s both engineering and architecture, but it’s hard to explain the way that
the course is linked, even I found it confusing at the start. It’s a mix of both, let’s say.” Jungkook
tries to explain. “It’s cool.”
“That sounds complicated.”
“That’s relative… it depends on how much you want to study to succeed.” the lady hums, taking a
nice sip from the mug, and he smiles. “How’s the coffee?”
“Lovely, as always.” she praises. “Something tells me, though, that you’re not this happy from
going to a few classes…”
“Ok, you got me.” Jungkook admits. “How do I explain this— I wasn’t single, I haven’t been
single for a few weeks now, but we were keeping it a secret at the start. Today, our relationship
was made official, and it just feels great to know that— that people know. That it’s real, that it’s…
true. My mood has been up ever since.”
“Oh!” the lady perks up in interest. “Who’s the lucky lady?” the question throws Jungkook off
guard a little, but he knows that he should’ve expected it. Old people can be very ignorant to the
advances of the world, and he knows how homophobic and unaccepting some can be. He really
does like this customer, and he’d hate it if she started looking at him sideways, or with disgust.
Still, rather shyly, he says, “It’s… a man, actually.” Jungkook bites down on his bottom lip,
fiddling with his fingers in the apron’s pocket. “I have a boyfriend. It’s not a lucky lady, it’s just…
my lucky man.”
“That sounds rather interesting.” she says, contrary to his expectations. “So, it’s an official
relationship now? I can understand why you’d be happy.” his eyes light up at that; an official
relationship. “Why did you keep it a secret, if I may ask?”
“He didn’t want to tell anyone for a while for… many reasons that would take too long to explain,
but now he’s finally wanted to tell his friends, which means that I get to tell mine, too. We’ll be
able to just— fucking be ourselves now, and I’m so happy and proud of him.” Jungkook sighs with
a content smile. “I’m sorry if I’m speaking too much, I’m just very excited about this. I-I’m very
excited about being able to tell people.”
“Don’t apologize, it’s endearing to see the shine in your eyes. You truly love him, and I can see it.”
she smiles. “Oh, young love…”
“I do, I’m so in love with him, I never thought that this was possible.” he worries at his bottom lip,
eyeing the chair in front of her. “Can I?” the young man asks, and the lady immediately makes a
grab for her handbag so that he has space to sit down.
“Will you get in trouble for sitting down?”
“No, I’m sure.” Jungkook smiles. “You mentioned young love with such a love-struck-expression
that it makes me wonder… Did you have one yourself?” he asks, curious, and she looks ahead of
him as she gets lost in her memories; there’s a nostalgic look in her eyes, and he simply waits.
“I did, I did… I was probably younger than you, or around your age. It didn’t last, but the memories
never leave us.” Jungkook tilts his head. “He was handsome and kind… I remember him to be the
epitome of a romantic man, but sometimes not even the strongest love is strong enough. Even
those can come to an end. Ours did… after five years.”
“Oh, I’m sad to hear that.” he frowns. “I’d like to believe that Tae and I will be together for a long
time, I really— I love him too much.”
“Honey, you have to think positively, so you must believe that you’ll be together for a long time.
Make sure that you do your best to be the best for him, and make sure that it comes back around. If
that’s the case, then you’ll surely last a long time.” the woman smiles. “You have to invite him for
breakfast here, I want to meet such a lucky man that lucked out with someone as charming as you.”
“Please—” Jungkook cackles. “I’m the lucky one.”
“Don’t be too humble.”
“If you met him, you’d understand.” he defends his point.
“Well, you’re both lucky, then.”
│►
Taehyung looks up from his book when he hears the front door being unlocked from the outside,
Moon rushing to get up from where she was sleeping with her head on his lap. She’s by the door in
seconds, tail wagging happily as she waits for her owner to come in. Jungkook gives her a tired
smile. “Hey, girl.” he bends down, petting her.
He looks up to check whether Taehyung is on the couch or not, his expression turning softer when
he does spot the blonde sitting there with a psychology book in his hand, dressed in one of his
pajamas.
“Why are you still up, love? It’s late.” he asks, tone as sweet as always.
“I was getting some reading done… Kind of waiting for you, too.” Taehyung admits, watching as
Jungkook throws his jacket aside while striding to him, and kicks his shoes off before lying down
on him, therefore making him lie down on the couch. It makes him giggle. Are you tired, baby?”
he asks, combing through the black hair all the while allowing his boyfriend to accommodate
himself on his chest.
“I’m not a baby…” Jungkook mumbles, eyes already closing. Taehyung just hums, clearly in
disagreement. “But, yes, I’m really tired… I wasn’t supposed to help clean up for the closing, but I
felt bad. I couldn’t leave him like that. I’m only arriving now, because I stayed back to help. I
could’ve arrived home, like, two hours ago.”
“You’re so hard working, hyung.” Taehyung whispers, kissing the top of his head. “I’m proud of
you for being able to focus on both school and work, but please, don’t overwork yourself…”
“I won’t…” he murmurs again.
“How was college?”
Jungkook sighs. “I’m too old for those people, I think. Either that, or everyone is just annoying.”
Taehyung giggles, opening his mouth, but the elder beats him to it. “You don’t get it.” he pushes
himself off of the blonde’s chest to meet his eyes. “That girl, the one that gave me her number,
asked me why I didn’t text or call. To make it worse, when I told her that I wasn’t interested, she
tried to fight me on it. Tae, I love you, I don’t want her. I told her that, and Yunseok— He’s nice,
but I don’t think that he’s going to pass the course, he doesn’t understand anything, and I have to
explain it to him, while paying attention. Work was tiring, well, it was fine in the morning, but
then it was really shitty in the afternoon. And don’t get me started on the girl again, I could be her
dad, so why doesn’t she fucking get the damn hint, and—” Taehyung places a finger over his lips,
prompting him to shut up.
“Don’t stress your head over her, it’s not worth it. I know that you’ve tried to put her in her place,
so don’t worry about justifying anything. You’re tired, come here…” he leads him by the head to
lead him back down, and Jungkook frowns, snuggling back on Taehyung’s chest.
“I told her that I have a boyfriend…”
“I know, hyungie, I know…” Taehyung whispers, still playing with Jungkook’s hair. “It’s no use
getting so worked up like this over her. I know that you’re loyal, so I’m not worried, and neither
should you be.”
“Alright… I love you.” Jungkook whispers back. “I’m tired, I’m so sleepy, and my head hurts. I
just— God, I didn’t even greet you with a proper kiss, come here.” he lifts himself up, just enough
to reach Taehyung’s lips, and proceeds to peck them three times.
“Did—” he’s interrupted by another kiss. “Did you have dinner? I left you some in the microwave,
I wasn’t sure whether you’d be hungry or not.”
“Thank you for saving me some, but I just made a sandwich at work, so I’m not really hungry.”
Jungkook explains, hiding his face against Taehyung’s neck. “I’m not hungry, I just want to sleep
for a bit, and for this headache to go away as quickly as fucking possible…”
“Take a nap, hyungie, you’ll feel better if you do.” Jungkook hums against his skin, breathing in
the soft and calming scent of Taehyung’s cologne and body wash. His eyes close, enjoying the
feeling of those slender fingers toying with his hair, and it doesn’t take him longer than a minute to
fall asleep, right then and there.
Taehyung smiles, kissing his forehead.
│►
Taehyung giggles at the television, the cartoons so dumb that they’re funny. His fingers are,
somehow, still playing with his boyfriend’s black locks, even if it’s already been an hour since he’s
arrived home. He looks down when the elder babbles something incoherent in his sleep.
Jungkook’s body shifts a little, a clear sign that he’s starting to wake up. Taehyung’s hand rests on
his cheek, thumb carefully caressing over the faint scar. Jungkook means so much to him that it
makes his chest feel impossibly tight whenever he stops to observe him. He’s never felt like this
before.
He’s been in love before, or so he believes, but he can’t even begin to compare what he felt with
Hyungsik to what he feels with Jungkook. The feelings are almost polar opposites. Jungkook
makes him happy, makes him feel special, makes him feel loved. Even when they fight, those
feelings never go away.
It’s crazy to acknowledge just how deeply he cares for Jungkook already, because it’s only been
three weeks since the latter confessed over Christmas. If he already feels like this now, then how
will he be able to fit all the love inside of him in a year or so?
“Jungkookie…” Taehyung whispers by his ear. “Hey, hyungie.” he repeats. Jungkook moves a
little, groaning as he slowly regains his conscience. The elder looks up, but quickly hides his face
again. “No, no, wake up.”
“Tired…” Jungkook mumbles. “I don’t want to get up.”
“But you have to, let’s go to bed, c’mon.” he makes absolutely no move to get up, so Taehyung
rolls to the side — his goal nowhere near wanting to throw Jungkook to the floor, but that’s exactly
what happens. The older man falls unceremoniously to the floor. It’s not a big fall, so he doesn’t
hurt himself, but Taehyung gasps. “Are you ok?”
Jungkook smiles, eyes still closed. “Fuck off, actually.” his words have no bite to them, which
makes Taehyung cackle to himself. “I was so comfortable, you’re a menace. Why couldn’t we
spend the night there?”
“Well, first off, you’re heavier than what you think. Second, the bed is much more comfortable.
Third, you don’t like to sleep in jeans so, therefore, we should get up and change. I know that
you’re tired, but you’ll have horrible back pain if we stay here for the night after such a long day.
I’ll change you into your pajamas.”
“Hm.” is all that he gets, with no sign of Jungkook wanting to get up. That, before he sits up with a
gasp. “Shit, I have homework from today, I have to do it.” Taehyung watches as he rubs his tired
eyes, yawning. “I’ll do it quickly…”
“You can barely keep your eyes open, you’re not doing homework.” he reprehends, holding
Jungkook’s hand when he tries to move away. “You’re going to bed, hyung.”
“But I have to do it—”
“When is it due?” Taehyung asks as he stands up to meet his height. “Tomorrow?”

“No, it’s due two days from now, but I have to do it tonight, or I may forget what we learned…”
Jungkook explains, though he still allows the younger man to lead him to the bedroom by the hand.
His feet are too heavy from sleep.
“Hyung, you remember things that you were taught in high school, a decade or so ago. You won’t
forget what you’ve learned today, I promise you that much. You’re a little genius, you don’t have
to worry so much. Tonight, you’re not stressing your head more, so we’ll go to bed now, okay?”
Jungkook pouts, clearly still not fond of the idea. “But… But I’ll bring more tomorrow, and it’ll
pile up with what I brought home today, and I don’t want it to get too much…” he argues, which
makes more sense than the first justification, and it does make Taehyung halt.
“I’ll help you, then, but it can only take us five minutes, or we’re not doing it.”
“Okay, deal.”
“What’s the subject?”
“Math.” Jungkook’s a little puzzled when Taehyung starts laughing, resting his forehead against
his shoulder. “What’s so funny about math?” he asks, his mind too slow to follow; part of him is
still asleep on the couch.
“Not everyone is born with the ability to learn math, and I lost all of my math knowledge after high
school… not that I had that much, anyway. I’m not letting you sit down like this, studying alone,
but I can’t help you when it comes to math, so we’ll go to bed and you’ll deal with homework
tomorrow.”
“Damn. I should be dating a professor instead.” Jungkook jokes, letting himself fall on the bed with
his eyes closed.
“Oh, you should try to find one when you’re on campus.” Taehyung plays along. “And are you
really going to wait for me to put your pajamas on, you big baby?”
“Yep.” Jungkook nods. “A deal is a deal.” he adds. “You can just leave me in underwear, to be
honest. You make me sweat during the night, so you warm me up enough. I like sleeping in
underwear.”
“Do you? You usually sleep in sweatpants.” Taehyung inquires with curiosity as he kneels on the
bed.
“I used to sleep naked a lot, it’s so freeing…” Jungkook mumbles, cooperating when his boyfriend
tries to remove his shirt. He does, however, fall back limp as soon as the fabric is off of his body.
Taehyung worries at his bottom lip as he eyes the button of the jeans, and he tentatively reaches for
it.
The elder seems to sense the sudden change in Taehyung’s demeanor, given that he opens his eyes
and places a hand over his. “Hyung?”
“I forgot that you’re not so comfortable with these things.” he says with a raspy voice, doing a
terrible job at masking his sleepiness. “I’ll put some sweats on myself, you don’t—”
“No, lay down.” Taehyung instructs as Moon jumps on the bed to join them, and Jungkook obeys;
he keeps his eyes open this time, wanting to be sure that he’s not making the younger man feel
uncomfortable in any sort of way. The blonde unbuttons his jeans, following by pulling the zipper
down. “Lift up your butt.” he requests.
Jungkook smirks. “That’s what she said…”
There’s a pregnant pause. “That makes no sense.” Taehyung points out as he pulls the jeans down
Jungkook’s long, muscular legs. “You’re tired and sleepy, so I’ll let this pass, but that was
seriously the worst one so far.”
The elder chuckles. “My dirty jokes are usually good…”
“Hm, I suppose.” he teases, letting out a little huff when Jungkook sits up to wrap his arms around
Taehyung’s waist in order to pull him down into a lying position. He’s unable to cuddle him like
that, though, as the younger man turns him around to hug him from the back.
“Why am I the little spoon?” Jungkook asks, curling more into Taehyung’s hold.
“Because you’re always the big one.” Taehyung explains the obvious. “You’re like a stuffed toy,
you’re nice to hold like this… Why? Does it make you uncomfortable? We can switch, if that’s the
case.”
“No, not at all. I’ve just never been the little spoon in my life.” he reveals.
“Well, you are now.” they both smile, closing their eyes.
Jungkook enjoys being in Taehyung’s arms.
He never knew that being held could feel this good.
│►
Chapter End Notes
Question of today: are you in favor or against Jungkook going to rehab?

◄│ 63 │►
Chapter Notes
Taehyung groans as he stretches his still sleepy body, but his feet stop in their tracks when he hears
a low singing coming from the kitchen. “You’re home today.” he comments with an easy smile
stretching on his lips.
Jungkook turns to face him. “Yeah, I only have college today, so I’ll be home early, too.” he
mirrors his grin. “Good morning, my love.” it’s said in a quieter tone as he plants a kiss to the top
of Taehyung’s head.
“Good morning, hyungie… Did you rest well? You were so tired last night.” Taehyung asks,
kissing Jungkook’s cheek in retaliation. “If I had to guess, I’d say that you did sleep well, because
you snored an unholy amount.”
“I don’t snore, shut it.” Jungkook tsks as he removes the slices of bread from the toaster. “You’re
lying to my face.”
“Nuh-uh.” Taehyung giggles. “You snore when you’re tired, I wouldn’t lie. It’s true.” he tickles
Jungkook’s side. “And…! I think that it’s also safe to assume that you’re in a good mood today,
because I heard you singing.”
“You heard wrong. I don’t sing.” Jungkook shakes his head, taking some butter on a knife to coat
the bread nicely. “I only sang to my sister… and when I’m showering.”
“You’ll never sing for me?” Taehyung pouts. “You have a beautiful voice… that’s such a shame.”
he half-whines.
“Is that a suggestion to shower with me?” Jungkook raises an eyebrow. “I’ll take it, I’ll sing as
much as you’d like if you allow me to wash you. I’ll thoroughly wash every bit of—”
“We’re not showering together!” Taehyung has to interrupt when Jungkook’s eyes wander over his
body, as if picturing exactly what he was about to suggest, and he can feel his cheeks burning red.
“You make me blush too much, I hate it…” he mumbles through a little pout as he walks over to
the counter to pour their coffees into two mugs.
“You don’t hate it, and I, most certainly, don’t either. It’s so amusing to watch.” Jungkook walks
closer to him, both of his arms wrapping around his slim waist. He presses a sweet kiss to the side
of Taehyung’s neck, one of his hands swiftly moving to his blushing cheek. “You’re warm.”
“I am.” Taehyung nods, reaching both for the sugar and a spoon. “There’s nothing amusing about
it…” he says, a little shy, as he does his best to focus on simply adding the right amount of sugar to
his coffee, instead of the hand now loosely around his throat. His heartbeat, though, quickens.
“Yeah, there is. Like…” the blonde inhales softly when one of the hands drags itself down his
chest, going over his nipple with forged innocence. “…that sound. Hm…” he chuckles quietly right
behind Taehyung’s ear. “It’s cute.”
“What— What are you doing?” Taehyung whispers, eyes closing shut as his hold on the spoon
tightens. Jungkook shrugs, he feels the movement against his back, and allows his hands to slowly
slide down Taehyung’s chest, as slowly as he can possibly make them move; trying to savor the
moment.
“I’m not doing anything.” Jungkook almost purrs by his ear. “I’m simply hugging my boyfriend…”
he adds as the younger man turns around in his hold, which causes his hands to fall to Taehyung’s
hips instead. The blonde doesn’t say anything, he simply cups Jungkook’s cheek to pull him into a
sweet kiss.
Their eyes close upon contact, and Jungkook takes the opportunity to back him up against the
counter, even if gently. Taehyung lets out a little gasp into Jungkook’s mouth when he feels the
hand on his hips tighten its grip, and the latter eats that sound up like it’s the only kind of meal that
he wants; needs.
He takes a gentle hand to Taehyung’s jaw as he separates their lips, and uses that grip to tilt his
head to the side; he proceeds to create a path of little kisses from Taehyung’s lips to his jaw, and
down to his neck. Taehyung bites down on his bottom lip, eyes closed while the heat spreads
across his cheeks.
His hands comfortably rest on Jungkook’s biceps, but he’s all too aware of what’s happening,
whereas Jungkook’s able to have his body as relaxed as he was before Taehyung even stepped in
the kitchen. Taehyung finds his composure impressive and, in a certain way, attractive.
When an especially harsh kiss is pressed on the curve where his neck meets his shoulder,
Taehyung feels his confidence wash away and be replaced by the sheer realization of what’s going
on. “W-We’ll be late…” he whispers, suddenly too shy to voice what he’s thinking, but Jungkook
understands the message.
Jungkook smiles, then, afore placing a last kiss on Taehyung’s pouty lips. “We should enjoy our
breakfast, love.” he suggests as he pulls away to finish plating their food. Taehyung, on the other
hand, is still very much frozen in place, still feeling all the tingling sensations where Jungkook’s
fingers were, his lips, his touch.
He has to shake his head to bring himself back.
“You look a bit red, love.” Jungkook taunts, watching him sit down.
Taehyung groans, his blush intensifying. “Shut up…!”
Jungkook cackles. “Gosh, I love teasing you.”
│►
“…and I do mean it when I say that I think less and less about the past nowadays. Hyungsik rarely
ever crosses my mind, because Jungkook is just… perfect, he’s incredible, and he takes care of me
so well that I don’t— I don’t ever associate him with Hyungsik. He really helps with that aspect of
the, uhm, trauma, I’d call it…” Taehyung admits.
“This makes me really happy to hear, Taehyung. I know how hard it can be to forget an abuser, and
you’re doing an amazing job. You’re surrounded by amazing friends, you have an amazing family,
and an amazing boyfriend. All of which are necessary for you to heal the wounds caused by
Hyungsik.” Namjoon’s voice is soft, and Taehyung never once thought that he’d feel comfortable
so openly talking about such a topic. It feels amazing, freeing.
“Thank you…” Taehyung looks down at his fingers, fidgeting a little. “But, uhm, recently… ever
since we started dating, we’ve gradually been getting a little— well, touchier, if that’s the right
word to use.” he tries to explain. “Even earlier today, for instance. He’ll touch me, and it feels
great, but it’s currently the only thing that still makes me think about Hyungsik.” Namjoon
gestures for him to go on. “When we get remotely sexual, I can’t… I can’t not think about him, and
I hate it. He doesn’t cross my mind when I’m doing anything else with Jungkook, only when it
starts heading that way… I hate it. It makes me have to stop it.”
“Well, that just comes to show that the sexual abuse part of it was the most scarring for you, and
that it will be harder to overcome. It doesn’t mean that you’ll never be able to get past it, but that
it’ll take a little longer to do so.” Namjoon explains, tilting his head at the end. “But I’m sure that
you know this.”
“I do.” Taehyung nods. “I do, I just wanted to know if you have any, uhm, suggestions…? Because
we’re both young, and Jungkook has always been a really sexual guy, ever since his teen years, and
I don’t want him to get bored of me or of our relationship…” he whispers the ending, growing
embarrassed.
Namjoon kind of wants to rip his own hair off. The couple has no idea of how much they mean to
each other, and it’s frustrating to witness while being unable to say anything about it. “I’m going to
ask you something a bit personal, and you can choose not to answer. It’s up to you, alright?”
Taehyung merely nods. “When you think of it happening between you two, do you want it, or do
you want to keep your distance?”
“Uhm…” Taehyung looks away, giving it a thought. “I can’t say that I discard the idea.
Jungkook’s insanely attractive, and his personality only makes him more desirable… The problem
is that I think like this, and I truly believe in what I’m saying, but then— but then we start getting
in the mood, and I start feeling suffocated. Hyungsik pops in my head, and I end up pushing
Jungkook away, which is stupid. I want it, thinking about it now, I do, but in the actual moment…
my mind goes haywire.”
“You need to sit down with him and talk about it. Tell him where you stand, and tell him where
your boundaries are. I’m sure that—”
“I’m not worried about him being disrespectful, Joon. He backs away immediately if I show any
sign of discomfort. The problem, for me, is that I keep pushing him away when I don’t even want
to. The memories suffocate me when it gets too real…”
“I see.” Namjoon nods, writing something else down on his notes. “I believe that you should still
have a conversation. I’m sure that he’d appreciate it if you two talked about this, and you explained
why you’ve been pushing him away. Keeping things from each other will never be a good thing to
do, so, truly, trust me when I say that sitting down with the other party is always the way to go.”
Taehyung sighs. “How do I tell him ‘hey, you’re really attractive, and I like it when you get
touchy, but I think about my ex instead and get uncomfortable’ without being an a-hole?”
Namjoon takes a moment. “I understand how compromising that may sound, but we both know
how Jungkook’s a highly intelligent guy. I’m sure that he’ll understand, or at least try to. Sit him
down, and explain exactly how you feel. Trust him to try. Who knows, maybe together you’ll find
a way to work around the thoughts of Hyungsik.” he suggests, smiling.
“I guess that that’s true… I’ll talk to him today. I will.”
“That’s good, Tae. I’m proud of you.” Namjoon praises and Taehyung smiles. “I’m sure that you’ll
be fine. Being honest only makes your relationship stronger.”
“It’s Jungkook, so there’s little to no way for this to go wrong.” he encourages himself. “I’ll have
this conversation today.”
│►
“I’m not watching that.” Jungkook immediately complains as he sits himself down on the couch,
comfortably on the space between his two best friends. “There are so many fucking movies out
there, and you just have to pick Marley and Me? Seriously?”
“It’s a sad movie, and I like to cry while watching movies. It cleanses my soul…” Seokjin explains
with a shrug. “There’s nothing more masculine than watching sad movies and crying with your
bros after work.”
Yoongi cringes. “Don’t call me bro ever again—”
“I stand by my point. That dog looks like Moon, and I’m not watching that shit.” Jungkook frowns.
“I don’t want to watch any dog dying, to begin with. That would ruin my whole mood. Pick
something else, or I won’t be able to watch this with you.”
“Okay, I’ll see what else I can pick.” Seokjin compromises, going back to scrolling through the list
of options. Yoongi sags on the couch next to him as he opens his bag of chips, quickly taking one
to his mouth.
“I have something to tell you guys.” Jungkook says to gather their attention, and they both look at
him. “I’m seeing Namjoon. As a therapist, of course. Taehyung and I thought that it was best to
start seeing a therapist, so we’re both having sessions with him. Separately.”
“That’s so good, Kooks. We’re so proud of you.” Yoongi praises with a large grin, hand placed on
Jungkook’s shoulder. “Shit, this is seriously incredible. I’m so happy for you.”
“This makes me emotional…” Seokjin adds. “I’m so immensely proud of you, and I’m happy for
you and Taehyung. I’m sure that he has a lot of demons to fight because of that other guy that he
dated.”
“Oh— About that. I have something else to tell you.” they simply stare at him; waiting. “We’re
dating. Tae and I.”
Seokjin chokes, followed by aggressive coughs.
Yoongi just gasps. “Does that mean that he likes you back?” he asks.
“What do you mean ‘back’?!” Seokjin looks between the two, bewildered. “How did you know
that he likes Taehyung? And since when is that a thing? What am I missing here?!”
“Uhm, okay, please don’t think that I kept it from you… But I’ll explain everything, and you’ll
understand.” Jungkook prefaces. “I kissed Taehyung a while back during a panic attack that he had.
The kiss was supposed to be meaningless, but it wasn’t meaningless at all. For me, I mean, because
it was meaningless for him. I went to Yoongi’s place after it happened to seek some wisdom, but I
didn’t talk about it with anyone else. Yoongi helped me realize just how fucking in love I was and
am with Tae.”
“Oh, my God.” Seokjin squeals. “Tell me the rest, I’d like to know everything. How did you go
from a kiss that was meaningless to one of you, to dating? Fill in the gaps for me, I want to
understand this.”
“Well… Basically, it was just me dropping hints for months, and Tae being too dense to
understand them, and calling me his best friend the whole time. Then Christmas happened, and we
spent the holiday together at his parents’ place, as you know… I confessed during Christmas, and
he was shocked, but agreed to try it out with me. We kept it hidden from everyone, even after
finally putting a label on us on New Year’s night. We’ve decided to tell people now, he’s finally
ready for that step… So, I’m telling you guys.”
“Do you have any fucking idea of how long Yoongi and I have been waiting for this to happen?
Basically, ever since you two started hanging out. This is bloody amazing, dude.” Seokjin pats his
shoulder, a grin from ear to ear.
“Yeah, I think—” Yoongi stops when they hear the door being unlocked, and soon followed by
Taehyung’s high-pitched voice calling after Moon, the dog already standing by the door with her
tail wagging from side to side.
“Hello, pretty thing…!” Taehyung greets, playing with her floppy ears. He stops when he feels
their stares, and it makes him look up to meet their eyes. “Oh, hey, guys.” he smiles, voice back to
normal.
“Hey, Tae.” the three of them say in unison.
“I didn’t know that you two were coming over.” Jungkook’s smile widens as he watches Taehyung
coming closer to share a quick hug with each of his best friends, and then bends down to kiss the
top of his head.
“Congrats, Tae.” Seokjin says with a knowing look. “Great news.”
Taehyung straightens up, puzzled. “I’m sorry…?”
“I told them.” Jungkook informs, and Taehyung gets it right away.
“Well, in that case…” the blonde steps closer, bending down to properly greet Jungkook with a
kiss on his lips. Jungkook smiles, his cheeks turning the faintest shade of pink, matching
Taehyung’s. They only break eye contact when they hear the other two cooing.
“So, it’s true. Someone actually wants to date this guy.” Seokjin jokes.
“Oh, shut it, or he’ll start crying.” Yoongi adds, and Taehyung takes a first glance at his boyfriend
to be sure that he’s finding it funny and not taking it seriously. Luckily, he only finds Jungkook
rolling his eyes with a smile.
“How about we shut up and don’t make fun of me, and just watch the damn movie?” he suggests,
and Seokjin quickly looks back to the list so that he can, finally, decide on something. “Do you
want to watch it with us?” Jungkook asks in a softer, lower voice.
“Yeah, sit down with us. We haven’t even picked the movie yet.” Yoongi encourages, dragging
himself away from Jungkook to create space on the couch for Taehyung to take.
“I’d love to, but I do have some work things to go through… I’ll just leave you guys to it, and
retreat to the bedroom for a little.” he bows with a smile. “Enjoy the movie.”
“Babe, hold up.” Jungkook calls, holding his hand out as Taehyung walks around the couch. He
tips his head back to keep eye contact, and the blonde stops to hear him. “Are you sure? You just
came from work, you should rest.”
Needless to say that Seokjin isn’t focused on the movie list anymore, and Yoongi isn’t really
paying attention to the small fluffy cat on his lap; both far too interested in the interaction before
them. They’ve never seen Jungkook like this, so it’s impossible to look away from.
“I’m sure, hyungie.” Taehyung smiles, stepping closer to run his fingers through Jungkook’s hair.
Jungkook’s outstretched hand ends up on the back of the younger man’s knee, giving it a few
caresses. “I have some thinking to do about some new patients of mine, so I wouldn’t be able to
focus on the movie properly. Thank you, though.”
“Alright, then.” Jungkook closes his eyes when the other bends down to kiss his forehead, and they
share a last smile before Taehyung leaves for their bedroom.
“Are you sure that he wasn’t interested in you by the time that you confessed? You two are… so
into each other.”
“I mean, I believe that it’s safe to assume that he wasn’t interested solely based on the fact that he
rejected me when I told him.” he argues, only to frown when his friends laugh at him. “Fuck off, it
was a really sad moment.”
“I’m only laughing because it’s weird — a good weird — to see you dating. Ever since we’ve
known you, you’ve only dated Yun, and yet we never even met her. It’s the first time that we see
you in this… light. I’ve dated people, Yoongi has dated people, but you never did. It’s interesting.
Especially when it’s already this deep. It’s relieving, it’s nice, and we’re proud of you for opening
up to him like this… We love to see you two happy and together.”
“Why are we talking about my love life, just pick the movie…” Jungkook mumbles, trying to shift
the attention away from himself. “You’re taking too long.”
“When will the day come that you’ll know how to take compliments…”
Jungkook chuckles. “That day won’t come.”
│►
“We have to do this again, it’s been days since we’ve last hung out, and that’s just unacceptable.”
Seokjin says, already stepping outside of the door. “Everyone has been busy, granted, but we have
to make time for each other.”
“Yeah… We have to find some balance again.” Jungkook agrees. “But, anyway, drive safely,
okay?” he tells them both, offering a smile. “Don’t be careless.”
“For sure.” Yoongi waves, stepping back. “We’ll text the group chat later.”
Jungkook slowly but surely closes the door as they bid their last goodbyes, his friends already by
the stairs. He then pets Moon, because he can’t possibly walk by her without doing so, before
making his way to the bedroom. He knocks twice, unwilling to disturb whatever it is that
Taehyung is doing.
“Come in.” he hears, so he pushes the door open. Taehyung is sitting in the middle of the bed with
some notepads around him, some books, and a pen in his hand. His hair is still wet from the shower
that Jungkook heard him take not too long ago, but that’s not what gets his attention.
Taehyung’s wearing one of his most oversized tee shirts, and they already look huge on himself,
but he pairs them with other long-sleeved ones underneath. The younger man, on the other hand,
doesn’t have any other shirt to compensate for what that one doesn’t cover, and only has a pair of
sleeping shorts on. They’re very small, and Jungkook can only see them because the shirt is raised
up on one of the sides.
He blinks, mind blanking as he stares at Taehyung’s long, sun-kissed legs.
God, how he wants to mark that golden skin, kiss everywhere that he can reach, and—
“—Jungkook?”
His head shudders, brought back to reality. “Yeah?” he blinks a couple of times as he walks to their
bed, sitting down at the bottom of it so that he doesn’t mess up any of Taehyung’s work. “What
were you saying?”
“I was just saying that I grabbed your shirt. They’re loose, so they’re really comfortable.”
Taehyung explains, and Jungkook finds himself getting lost once again, eyes slowly wandering
over every inch of exposed skin. The blonde closes one of his books, and the movement makes the
shirt fall down on one of his shoulders, exposing his collarbones. “I hope that it’s okay…” he adds,
and it takes Jungkook a couple of seconds to follow what he means.
“Yeah, sure, it’s absolutely okay.” Jungkook nods.
“What’s gotten into you?” Taehyung asks with a light laugh.
“You look fucking edible with that on, babe.” he admits, humming to himself.
Taehyung does his best to play off the blush that he feels creeping to his cheeks. “Cannibalism
isn’t attractive.” he says, and Jungkook laughs as he lays on his side, holding himself on his
forearm. “Also, I’m not sure whether you’re ok with me working at home or not, but I’m just going
through some stuff that my new patients have told me today… I’m trying to find good methods to
get through them.”
“You can do whatever you want, Tae.” Jungkook reassures. “I’d even offer to help, but you can’t
show me anything, so I can only morally support you.” he says, but Taehyung still closes his
books, and puts them aside. “Hm?”
“We have to talk.” the elder blinks. “Okay, I know how much of a pessimist you are, so I’ll just
say that it’s really nothing bad. It’s just something that Namjoon encouraged me to talk to you
about so that we can… reinforce our relationship.” he explains, crossing his legs and patting the
mattress so that Jungkook does the same thing.
Jungkook copies his position, attentively listening. “Talk to me, then, love.”
“So… To give you some context first, we were talking about Hyungsik, and about how I don’t
associate you two anymore since you’re just… perfect, but here’s, uhm, something that still makes
my body and my unconscious betray me.” Taehyung starts, a little too nervous to look at him, so he
stares at his hands instead.
“Is this about us being intimate…?” Jungkook tries to guess, bending down a little to meet his
eyes. “Look at me, darling.” he whispers, and Taehyung obeys right away. They both smile; they
always do when their eyes meet.
“How did you know?”
“Well… I can see it sometimes. I notice the way that you back off whenever I touch you more…
intimately. This morning, for example, or at Yoongi’s house during New Year’s. You even told me
that you’re not ready to take that step when we got as far as me starting to undress you. It’s not
hard to put two and two together, my love.”
“I-I just need you to know that I don’t push you away or break the moment because I’m not
attracted to you, or because I don’t trust you, because I trust you with everything and one had to be
blind not to find you the most attractive man ever. It’s just that, uhm, whenever we start to get
handsy, my mind tells me that it’s going to be the same horrible experience as it was with
Hyungsik. I don’t want that, hyung.”
“I understand.” Jungkook reassures, tucking a strand of blonde hair behind his ear. “You didn’t
have to push yourself like this to tell me… I know that you’re not comfortable talking about these
things, but I’m glad that you did, and I’m proud of you for going for it.” he smiles, warm. “Let me
just assure you that we don’t have to have sex, like, ever, if you don’t feel ready for it.”
Taehyung pouts. “Studies say that couples don’t last without sex… Especially young people.”
“Studies weren’t done about us.” Jungkook says without missing a beat, and Taehyung feels yet a
piece of his heart being consumed by Jungkook. “I love you, and I won’t get bored, or whatever
you may think. Sex would be fucking great, I can’t lie to you, because I want you in every fucking
way possible… but it’d just be a plus. It’s not a necessity when it comes to having you. You mean
too fucking much to me, for sex to be that important. I want you, all of you, but mainly you as a
person… not your body.”
Taehyung smiles, his cheeks heating up. He can’t put in words how much he feels for the man
sitting in front of him.
“Besides, porn exists, and I have two healthy hands.” Jungkook adds, and that’s enough to break
the seriousness of the moment. Taehyung is thankful for that, because he can only talk about sex so
much before he combusts.
“You, uhm, watch that?” he asks, shyly.
“I’m a man, so yes, of course.” Jungkook nods, unashamedly. “Lesbian porn is really good, I must
say. Gay porn can be a bit too much, because men in porn just tend to ruin the whole thing… If it’s
for something quick, though, it does the deal. Like, when you don’t have much t—”
“I didn’t ask—”
“—ime, and you just want to jerk off on the clock, then gay porn does the deal, too.” he speaks,
trying not to laugh at Taehyung’s flustered — and horrified — expressions. “I must say that the
acting at the start throws me off… I have to skip it in order to enjoy the rest of the video.”
“My God, shut up.” Taehyung shrieks, lightly hitting Jungkook’s head with one of his books, and
the elder laughs, holding his wrists to avoid having it happen again. “You’re too much.”
“What’s too much is the fact that it appears that you’re implying that you don’t watch porn.”
Jungkook has to comment on it, because one of his favorite things is to make Taehyung blush.
“Have you never watched porn?”
“Why are we talking about this?!” he tries.
“You sat me down to talk about the sex life that we don’t even have, you should’ve expected that
conversation to go downhill when it’s with me.” Jungkook points out the obvious, and Taehyung
wants to smack him with the book yet again. “Have you never? This is concerning, and weird. I’m
fucking curious.”
“I did as a kid… not now.” Taehyung frowns. “I became really uninterested in sex after meeting
Sik, so I never wanted to do anything. Not even to myself. I’m not interested in anything related to
it, and won’t be, unless my opinion on that changes, which only you will be able to make happen,
and we don’t even know when.”
“Okay, that’s fair…” when he thinks that Jungkook might just let the topic die, he sees the
mischievous smile stretching on his lips. “You do know that masturbation is good for your health,
though, righ—” the elder falls backwards onto the mattress as a pillow is pushed right against his
face.
“Shut it!” Taehyung demands, trying not to laugh. “I don’t want another word.”
“You started it—” Jungkook defends himself, successfully getting the pillow from Taehyung’s
hands. “You’re a doctor, I can’t believe that I have to explain this to you…” he tuts.
“For the hundredth time, I’m not a doctor, I’m a therapist.” Taehyung states with a giggle. “It’s not
the same.”
“Oh, then I’ll explain it to you, since you’re not a doctor.” Jungkook clears his throat, fixing his
position. “It helps to prevent cancer, it relieves stress, it releases dopamine and endorphins that
help—”
“Shut it!” Taehyung covers his mouth, feeling the little puffs of breath against his fingers when
Jungkook laughs. “No more masturbation talk, I have had enough.” he tries to sound serious, but
there’s playfulness behind his eyes. “Don’t you have homework to do, or something?”
“Indeed, I do, but I’ll only do it after dinner… I want to cuddle you, as of now.” Jungkook says as
he pushes himself to tower over the younger man, successfully making him lay back down on his
pillow. “Give me a kiss.” he requests, puckering his lips.
“I’m not kissing your sinful mou—” he’s interrupted by a kiss, and they both hum into each other’s
lips. “Okay, you can continue.”
“You’re too cute for my heart.” Jungkook mumbles, joining their lips one more time; this time, in a
longer and deeper kiss. “I could kiss you all day…” he whispers, moving his pecks lower to
Taehyung’s neck.
“As much as I’d love that…” Taehyung starts, breaking the kisses to look at him. “…I want to
know all about how your day went.” he smiles, combing Jungkook’s hair away from his eyes. “If
you’d like to share.”
Jungkook mirrors his smile. Taehyung makes him feel both important and interesting. “I’d love to
share… as long as you don’t mind listening to stuff that you won’t fully understand.”
“Hm, I don’t mind that. I find your intelligence very, very attractive.”
“Oh, is that so?” he raises an eyebrow.
Taehyung playfully rolls his eyes. “Just start speaking…”
│►
Taehyung gets up from the bed after over half an hour of waiting to be joined by his boyfriend, and
quickly makes his way to the kitchen, where he knows Jungkook to be. The elder has been doing
his homework for almost two hours now, and Taehyung kept him company while having some tea
before bed, but he only left because he had been assured that he’d be joined in ‘just a minute’.
Well, said minute has turned into almost forty, and Taehyung can’t fall asleep with an empty bed.
Jungkook is still sitting on the same chair, his hand rapidly writing something on his notepad.
“Aren’t you coming to bed…?” Taehyung asks, leaning against the doorframe. “I can’t sleep
without you, hyungie.” he adds.
The elder turns around to face him, and his eyes trail down Taehyung’s bare legs before meeting
his eyes. “I’m sorry, love, I thought that this would take me way less time than it’s taking…” he
explains, facing the front again. “I’m quite regretful for having left this for after dinner.”
“Hm…” Taehyung walks over to him, bending down to try and see what the exercises are about,
only to see way too many numbers and some little sketches with even more numbers on them. He
simply takes a step closer, before throwing one of his legs across Jungkook’s lap, where he
proceeds to sit.
Jungkook chuckles. “Are you tired, baby?” he asks, tucking his chin on Taehyung’s shoulder to
still be able to write down his answers to the questions, while his boyfriend hides in the crook of
his neck. “Hm?”
“Yeah, I’m really sleepy…” Taehyung nods, arms circling Jungkook’s waist. “I really want to
sleep, but I still couldn’t fall asleep without you by my side.” Jungkook’s heart swells in his chest.
“I’m used to your presence…”
“I’m sorry, baby.” Jungkook whispers by his ear, pressing a sweet kiss to his shoulder. “Would you
like to help me finish this? It’ll be faster.” he asks, though Taehyung can hear the teasing tone in
his voice.
“I studied psychology, babe. I don’t even understand what you have written there.” he says with a
rather groggy voice, sleep trying to catch up to him now that he’s surrounded by Jungkook’s
cologne again.
“Can you… hypnotize me so that I finish this faster, or something?”
“That’s not how psychology works.” Taehyung pulls back to meet his eyes. “Besides, you’re smart
on your own, you don’t need anything from me. I’d help, but I don’t know any of that, so the only
support that I can give you, is this one…” he kisses his cheek, one at a time, then his forehead and,
lastly, his lips, before tucking himself back on his neck.
“And that’s the best kind of support.” Jungkook smiles, resting his chin once again as he continues
to write numbers down. “This is making my head hurt, I can’t lie… I’ve done so many of these
today, I can barely tell the numbers apart by now. I’m going cross-eyed.” he admits, tone mumbly.
“Hm, you’ll have to deal with a lot of numbers for the rest of your life now that you’re studying
this.” Taehyung points out as he begins playing with the hem of Jungkook’s shirt. “You could’ve
studied something else, but no…”
“I really couldn’t, though.” Jungkook pouts. “This has always been what I wanted to do, even back
in high school. I’ve always told everyone that I’d be studying this in the future.” he shares, and his
hand halts as he remembers something, only to chuckle. “Do you remember those weeks where the
school would choose a different degree for a theme, and pick students into that degree to create shit
to decorate the entrance hall?”
“I do remember that. I helped once for medicine week. I had to make a pair of lungs out of
cardboard, which was the worst decision of my life… I didn’t even want to study medicine, I just
wanted to participate, and it was my last chance before I finished high school.” he shares with a
light laugh. “You never helped decorating…”
“Oh, I did, I just refused to have my name on the list of people who participated. I had a reputation
to keep.” the blonde pulls away to look at him. “I made a few things for architecture week… Some
building models, and whatnot.”
“You’re so lame!” Taehyung insults. “Why couldn’t the school know that you actually care for
things?”
“Because I was smart, not interested. There’s a huge difference.” Jungkook smiles. “I was honestly
so dumb back then, I hate thinking back to those times… I don’t know what went through my head,
to be honest.”
Taehyung places a hand on his cheek, caressing it. “I remember you so well. You looked the same,
just really young, and not as mature as now…” he recalls. “I remember how you’d never really
smile, you’d always have an annoying smirk, or just nothing, which is insane, because you’re
always smiling. Oh, and you had a nice style. You still dress similar, but better… more mature.”
Jungkook’s eyes shine as he watches Taehyung get lost in his thoughts. “You had many earrings,
more than now. You were hot. An asshole, but hot nonetheless.”
Jungkook gapes. “You found me attractive?!”
“Yeah, everyone did.” Taehyung tilts his head. “The entire school body did.”
“I’m going to jump out of that window, I swear to God.” Jungkook throws his head back with a
groan. “I had a crush on you, and you found me hot. We could’ve had something, and we didn’t
because I was an ass.”
“Realistically thinking, we wouldn’t have lasted back then. You weren’t the same way that you are
now, as mature and understanding… soft-spoken… and I also didn’t know how to handle the—
well, issues that you had. We’re a good match now but, back then, we were just two inexperienced
kids.” Taehyung rationalizes. “And all that you wanted was sex, so, there’s also that.”
“It was distracting.” Jungkook defends. “It kept my mind busy…”
“Surely, but again, it wouldn’t have worked on me.” Taehyung smiles, pecking his lips twice.
“Don’t beat yourself up with this, though. If we met now, then it’s because it was meant to be like
this all along.”
“Destiny isn’t a thing—”
“Shush. It is.” he frowns. “We met when we needed each other the most… and, if you stop to think
about it, we lack where the other is stronger. We fit together so well, hyungie… We’re kind of
meant to be, I believe.” Taehyung leans in to kiss his cheek twice. “I couldn’t ask for anyone better
for me. I couldn’t.”
“I’ll cry if you keep saying stuff like that.” Jungkook warns, his chest filled with positive emotions.
“I’ll finish this tomorrow.” he says as he puts his pencil down and closes the books, before getting
up with Taehyung still on his lap.
Taehyung yelps, circling his waist with his legs, quite surprised by the sudden display of strength.
“You can finish your homework, I don’t mind waiting, babe.” he reassures, mindlessly twirling
with the longer, wavy black hair on the back of Jungkook’s head.
“I’d rather cuddle you, though. I’ll finish it tomorrow.” he smiles, and Taehyung huffs when he’s
unceremoniously dropped on the bed, his body bouncing with the mattress. “I’ll be the big spoon
tonight.”
“Hm, I won’t argue with that.” Taehyung giggles, turning around as Moon joins them in bed.
Jungkook lays down right behind him, pulling him closer to his chest. “Night, hyung.”
“Night, baby.” Jungkook whispers. “I love you.”
“I Moon you, too.” he teases.
The elder groans. “You’re sleeping alone tonight.”
“No—!”
│►
Shameless plug of my mafia/enemies to lovers au that had its 2/6th part posted today!
│►
Chapter End Notes
I got a lot of mixed reactions with the theme of rehab being brought up and I do
understand it as it’s a deep issue so for those who are more sensitive, I’ll give this one
spoiler that it will happen, he will eventually go to rehab (it’s not a negative thing for
him, really. This has a happy ending, I can assure y’all of that) and when it happens, I
will be adding it to the tags. I wanted to make it clear so that you already know and
expect it to come!
◄│ 64 │►
Chapter Notes
Jungkook groans as he moves to turn off his alarm when it startles him awake from his peaceful
slumber, and he has to sit up right away, lest he fall back to sleep. He rubs his eyes, sleepily
placing his feet on the floor; too tired to notice Taehyung sitting up, too, until there’s a pair of arms
around him, and a head comfortably resting on his broad back.
Taehyung’s eyes are closed, ready to drift back to sleep right then and there, but he knows that he
can’t, given that Jungkook has to get up eventually. Still, he shows no sign to be willing to let him
go so soon.
“Comfortable?” Jungkook asks with a deeper, groggier voice.
Taehyung hums in confirmation. “Do you have work today…?” he asks, thumbs slowly moving to
caress the warm skin of Jungkook’s toned abdomen. “Or only college…?”
“I have two classes, and then I have work.” Jungkook explains, reaching back for Taehyung’s leg
with one of his hands. Taehyung’s still wearing his shirt and a pair of shorts, so he almost retracts
his hand when he feels the warmth of his bare skin, but he doesn’t. He trusts Taehyung to tell him
if he crosses a line. The only reaction that it grants him is Taehyung hugging him even closer.
“Okay…” he whispers.
“Do you have work? Or is it today that you’ll be staying home?” Jungkook asks.
“It’s today, yeah. They did invite us to go to a dinner to celebrate the opening date of the clinic, but
I told them that I’d be busy.” Taehyung shares, and Jungkook chuckles. “Why is it funny?”
“Because that’s something that I would do.” Jungkook shrugs, his hand slowly sliding up and
down Taehyung’s smooth leg. “I really should get up if I want to get there on time, but this feels
too good…” he almost whines the last words, rubbing his eyes again.
“You won’t be coming home for lunch, will you?” Jungkook denies with a low sound at the back
of his throat. “Will it be alright if I go to Jimin’s, then? We’ve been wanting to have a chat and
wine for a while, and we’re both free today, so it’s the perfect opportunity…”
“Yeah, of course.” he taps Taehyung’s thigh before getting up, and Taehyung cringes at the
cracking sounds that his body makes when he stretches his limbs. “It would be ok for you to go
even if I were having lunch at home. I’ve told you this already, but I’ll say it as many times as
necessary: you can do whatever you want to do. I’ll never hold you back, or tell you no.”
“You’re too good to be real…” Taehyung praises with a smile as he lays back down, one of his legs
bent and shirt lifted up enough to show his tummy. Jungkook loses himself in the sight, eyes not
even shy in the way that they look. The blonde’s hair is all over the place, messy, and he looks
adorable like this. God, Jungkook is a goner. “What are you staring at me for…?” he asks with a
blush high on his cheeks.
“You drive me crazy.” Jungkook half-whispers, giving up on the idea of getting ready for the sake
of laying down between Taehyung’s parted legs. He doesn’t do it with second intentions, nor does
he even think about touching Taehyung like that so suddenly; he only lays there for the warmth,
and to be able to hide his face in the latter’s neck. “I’m staying here…”
“Hyungie—” Taehyung tries to push him away, but Jungkook doesn’t even budge. “You’re going
to be late.” he giggles. “I don’t mind having you here, in my arms, but I know how much you hate
being late for classes.” he tries to rationalize, fingers threading through Jungkook’s hair.
“If I take the bus instead of walking there, I can stay here for twenty more minutes… That’s the
plan for today.” he mumbles into Taehyung’s neck. “I’m staying for twenty more minutes.”
“Baby, you hate catching the bus.”
“But I love cuddling you.”
Taehyung giggles, entertained. “You can take my car. Jiminie is picking me up, and I’ll probably
Uber back since we’re both going to drink a bit… Just take my car with you today.” Jungkook pulls
back just enough to regard him, only one eye open, thinking it through.
“Okay, so I can stay for forty-five minutes instead.” Jungkook concludes, wasting no time before
burying his face back in the crook of Taehyung’s neck. He breathes in, humming. “You smell so
fucking good, my love.” he praises, voice already sleepy. “I fucking love everything about
cuddling you, I could do this as a full-time job.”
That makes Taehyung laugh; quiet but bubbly. “Shut up and sleep. You’ll have to wake up much
faster if you don’t go to sleep now.” he instructs as he pulls the sheets up to cover them, his arms
then circling Jungkook’s back. His runs his nails lightly up and down Jungkook’s back, and the
aforementioned goes out like a light; luckily for him, Taehyung remembers to set an alarm.
He then melts under Jungkook’s body, one hand lost in the mess of black hair, and the other still
caressing his back until he himself falls asleep. Moon joins them not too long after, though she goes
unnoticed by the sleeping couple.
They couldn’t be more comfortable.
│►
“Class dismissed.” the professor says, beginning to wipe the board, and Yunseok just about whines
with his hands together as if thanking some higher being.
Jungkook chuckles as he picks up his books. “Are you that happy that the class is over?” he asks,
standing up with his friend. “This class was actually interesting… I feel like we—” he stops when
the other lifts a hand to quieten him. “What—?”
“Hyung, there’s nothing interesting about what that man told us today. I can’t believe that you can
be so interested in studying, you’re really… I don’t even know how to describe it.” Yunseok
shakes his head, gesturing at him.
Jungkook finds himself cackling again, his mouth already opening to say something about it, when
a hand snakes around his forearm to pull him to a stop. He turns back, confused, only to see the
same girl that hasn’t been able to get the hint yet.
“Can we talk?” she asks, and Jungkook looks at his friend with a ‘save me’ plea behind his eyes,
but the younger man gets the wrong message.
“Alright, I’ll leave you two to it. I’ll see you tomorrow.” he pats Jungkook’s shoulder twice before
starting to walk in the opposite direction, and Jungkook wants to run after him, but refrains.
“What’s the matter?” he asks, still trying to be polite.
“My name is Jyhu. I’m nineteen, and it’s very sad that we haven’t been introduced yet, so I’m
taking matters into my own hands here.” she smiles, one hand on her hip while the other reaches
for Jungkook’s arm again, almost feeling up his bicep even if through the sweatshirt.
“Don’t get me wrong, but I don’t really care.” Jungkook half-smiles, removing her hand. “I’m
twenty-eight, I could be your dad.” he sighs, exaggerating. “Even if I were your age, I’m taken.”
“You’d have to have made me when you were, like, nine, so that’s impossible.” Jyhu smiles,
clearly uncaring for his last statement. “However, if you’d like me to call you daddy, you just have
to tell me, and I will… I don’t kink shame.” she smirks. “Just take my number.”
Jungkook blinks, finding it hard to believe what he’s hearing. “I can’t believe that I’m going to
have to say this again, but—” he’s interrupted by a hand suddenly grabbing him by the back of his
head, another on his chin, and it’s followed by a pair of lips pressing roughly against his.
He tries backing up, but he only bumps against the wall, trapping himself between the concrete and
her smaller body. Both of his hands are occupied by the books, so he lets them fall to the floor so
that he can push her away by the shoulders.
Jyhu still tries to resist, but he’s far stronger than her.
“What the fuck?!” Jungkook yells, uncaring for the people around them, or how scary he sounds
when he raises his voice. “Are you absolutely out of your fucking mind?!”
“Listen—”
“No, you fucking listen.” he bends down to pick up his books, quickly on his feet again to face her.
“I’m not fucking interested, not one single bit, so stop acting like a fucking desperate bitch,
forcefully kissing me against my will when I have told you, countless times, that I don’t want
anything to do with you.” the insults roll off of his tongue with an unfamiliar ease, and he hates
having to be so disrespectful, but he’s seeing red. “I have a boyfriend, and I’m very much in love
with him. I don’t care about you. Don’t come close to me ever again, because I won’t hesitate to
press charges against you. Was I clear?”
Jyhu crosses her arms. “But I—”
“I asked, was I fucking clear?” Jungkook repeats, voice louder and sterner. He hates this, he hates
raising his voice, he loathes fighting, but he can’t help it. Not after what she’s done to him.
“I’m literally giving you an amazing opportunity here. No one has to kn—”
“I give up, it’s like talking to a wall. Keep your fucking distance.” Jungkook concludes, moving
past her; his shoulder knocks against hers without a care.
“Jungkook!” she calls after him.
“Fuck off.” he doesn’t turn back.
│►
“More?” Taehyung nods with a light giggle, and Jimin proceeds to fill up their wine glasses once
again as they sit down on the couch, done with lunch. “So, tell me about how things are going with
you and Jungkook hyung. You haven’t told me anything new in a while… Is everything ok?”
“Oh, yeah, everything is great.” Taehyung smiles, genuine. “He’s amazing to me, and he’s so
respectful… I don’t even know what to tell you, if I’m honest. There’s a list of compliments and
pros that I could just— rant about. I adore him, I can never have enough of him.”
Jimin mirrors the smile on the blonde’s lips. “Is it hard, though?” he asks. “I mean, you’ll always
have a part of you that was scarred by Hyungsik, and Jungkook— Well, I don’t know what his
issues were or are that led him to seek therapy, but I’m only guessing that he, too, is a troubled
man… Isn’t it hard? Two hurt people trying to work out…?” he words it as nicely as he can.
“We take care of each other. We’re happy, it works. Of course that we have moments where one of
us is down, mostly Jungkook… he’s, uhm, dealing with a lot, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t
make me laugh like an idiot, and feel loved all the freaking time.” he shrugs.
“I’m glad. I want nothing but happiness for you. For you two.” Jimin smiles, taking a sip. “Shall
we get into more interesting territories…?” he asks with a smirk that Taehyung knows all too well
already. “Have you two taken the next step?”
Taehyung shakes his head. “No…”
Jimin raises an eyebrow, as if surprised. “How come?”
“We uhm, we got touchy some times, but I stopped it because I got nervous.” Jimin’s mischievous
smirk turns into a sympathetic smile. “Yeah, that’s basically it. The furthest that we’ve gotten was
with him starting to undress me— God, I’m embarrassed to just share these things.” he whines.
“Whatever, yes, we stopped as soon as he unbuttoned my pants.”
“Was he ok with you stopping?” Jimin asks, more seriously this time. “He freaking better.”
“Oh, absolutely. He dressed me up again, and cuddled me.” Taehyung smiles, sipping from his
wine. “I’m telling you, he’s amazing. I know that he’ll be sweet and careful when we get to it, I
know that it will be nothing like it was with Hyungsik, and I hate myself for even being nervous.”
“You know, you can do it the way that Hobi and I did. I was a virgin, as you know, so I was also
kind of scared… We took it step by step. You two don’t have to go all the way from the very first
time, you can just suck his dick, Tae.” Jimin suggests with a little chuckle, and Taehyung cokes on
his wine. “Or let him suck yours, I don’t know. What I’m saying is: start somewhere, and just
build up to the actual thing, step by step.”
“I’ve thought about that.” Taehyung admits with a defeated sigh. “I don’t want to, though. I know
myself, and I know that I’d still end up chickening out. I want us to go all the way when we
actually get to it, I want to be able to do that.” he pouts. “And… And it’s not just the Hyungsik
memories and trauma that stop me…”
“Yeah…?” Jimin encourages.
“He has lots of experience. He already had so much experience by the time that I had my very first
kiss, Minie. He’s— He’s so shameless and comfortable with anything sex-related, and I’m scared
that he may not like it when we hit that level of intimacy. What if he thinks that I’m not as good as
other people that he’s had before? Hyungsik was my only partner, I don’t have the kind of
familiarity that Kook has… I don’t want to disappoint him.” Taehyung explains, eyes on his lap as
his words come out embarrassed, shy.
“Tae, that man loves you so much. You should see the sparkle in his eyes every time that he talks
about you, or looks at you. I’m sure that he’s not going to be disappointed over something like
that.” Jimin reassures. “Besides, sex can be improved. You can learn what each of you likes, and
you’ll gain experience with him, through him. You shouldn’t worry so much.”
“You’re right…” he pouts, twirling his glass and watching the way that the wine swirls. “I actually
do get in the mood whenever we get in those situations, so it’s really annoying that my mind
betrays me and does the opposite of what my body wants to do.”
“Oh, so you want it to happen?” Jimin giggles.
“I mean— yeah. Jungkook is insanely attractive, I’d be crazy if I didn’t.” Taehyung hides his
blushing cheeks, but giggles. “Yesterday I even— I don’t know what got to me, but I wanted to
tease him a little… I wore his shirt with only a tiny pair of shorts, and his reaction was so— ugh.”
“So ‘ugh’?” Jimin teases with a smirk. “Elaborate.”
“He makes me feel wanted. He makes me feel so wanted. He’s making me curious about it.”
“Gosh, it’s the first time that we’re having a conservation like this, this is so exciting.” Jimin
beams, cheering by clicking his glass against Taehyung’s. “Have you two talked about this?”
“Oh, yeah. Yesterday, actually.” Taehyung nods. “I told him that it might take us a while to get
there, but that it’s not because of him, and that I do want it to happen. I just tried to reassure him as
well as I could, but it ended up being more him reassuring me…” he smiles. “I just let him know
that I’m not entirely ready.”
“But you kind of are.”
“When I’m talking about it, yes. When it gets real, not so much.” he sighs. “I wish that I had the
courage to just go for it. I want to be bold for once, I just want to be good to my amazing boyfriend,
by being confident and making him feel good…”
Jimin takes a second. “You know, if it’s any sort of relief, you making him wait will only make
him enjoy it even more when it happens, so you should worry less about your performance.”
“That’s… That’s actually a good point.” Taehyung acknowledges. “I just want to make him feel
good, you know? He makes me so happy, and he mean so much to me, that I just want to be good
to him, and be— enough.” he whispers the last word, shy.
“Again, he loves you. You are enough. Also, let me just say: you freaking glow when you talk
about him… I might just need him to clear my skin, too.” Jimin jokes, curious of what reaction that
might grant him with.
“Hobi wouldn’t be happy hearing that.”
“It doesn’t bother you?” he checks.
“He wouldn’t leave me.” Taehyung shrugs, but then his smile falls. “Only after we have sex…”
“Tae, he’s absolutely, irrevocably in love with you. He’s not going to leave you even if — and it
won’t be — the sex is bad, or mediocre. It can be improved with time. He’s not leaving. The fact
that you don’t see how serious he is about you is making me want to pull my own hair out.”
“I do see it, and I also feel it… Still, that doesn’t change the fact that there are other variables that
will affect our relationship once they happen…” Taehyung pouts. “It’s nerve-wracking…”
“His pessimism starting to rub off on you, I see.” Jimin scoots closer. “Love and live in the
moment, Tae. Why worry about possible variables when they’re not even there? Have fun.”
“I don’t want to be pessimistic; I want to be bold and just— and just go for it… I don’t know what
to do. Jiminie, what do I do?” he asks, hoping for an answer clear enough.
“Okay, let’s see. What would you advise someone to do if they asked you this at the office?”
Taehyung looks away, giving it a thought. Putting things in that perspective really is easier to
contemplate, and he’s able to think a little more clearly. “I’d tell them to have a conversation with
their partner about it… but I’ve already done it. Can I really just get your input? You’ve always
been freer and bolder than me. Please.”
Jimin hums. “Alright… What if it was Jungkook?” Taehyung tilts his head. “What if Jungkook
came home one day, from Namjoon or something, and told you that he’s not ready for sex, that it
makes him nervous because of trauma from the past that affects him no matter how sexually open
he is. What would you say, or think? Especially if he were worried that you’d be bored of him for
it. How’d you help him improve?” Jimin words it carefully, waiting.
“I would… I would respect it, and give him the time that he needs.”
“Okay, but say: Jungkook wants to have sex, but he’s nervous that it won’t be good. How would
you, in that case, help him?” he inquires, trying to help Taehyung reach a solution.
“I— I don’t know…? I’d reassure him, and wait for him. I’d let him initiate it when he’s ready,
and allow him to lead it so that he could go at his own pace. His comfort would be my priority
then. Also, if he just weren’t ready, I’d just— Wait, oh.” Taehyung realizes, stopping.
Jimin smiles. “There you have it.”
“So, I should be the one initiating it…?”
“When you’re ready, yes. Just keep doing what you’re doing, which is the right thing. He’s bold
and confident, and you’re not as much, but hearing what you’ve told me, I don’t think that he’s
going to make any real advance unless you’re the one initiating it.”
“I once grabbed his— You know.” Jimin hums, smirking. “When we went out for my birthday and
I got home drunk… Apparently, according to him, I kept asking him to touch me, and I grabbed it,
but he didn’t let me do anything. He knew that I wasn’t conscious, and he knew that I wasn’t
ready… So, I believe that you might be right. Unless Iconsciously initiate something, he’ll continue
to hold back to make me comfortable.”
“You’re in the safest hands for this, Tae. Whenever you’re ready, go for it.”
“Go for it.” Taehyung repeats.
Jimin nods. “Go for it.”
│►
Jungkook continues wiping the counter with a wet rag, his movements almost robotic as his mind
is somewhere else. Eunjae isn’t the most talkative today, either, her bad mood holding her back
from being as enthusiastic and positive as usual. Her period, she informed him earlier.
However, even in a bad mood, she doesn’t like the silence. “You’re awfully quiet.” she finally
points out, sliding a coffee mug towards Jungkook; black, no sugar. “Tell me what happened,
while enjoying my amazing coffee.” he mixes hers, waiting for him to start.
“It’s nothing…” he tries.
“It’s never nothing when we say it like that. Besides, I know all of your faces by now… That’s
your ‘something happened and I’m thinking about it’ face.” she accuses. “Just spill.”
Jungkook sighs, finally accepting the coffee as he drags a hand through his hair. “There’s this girl
at college who keeps throwing herself at me. I’ve told her ‘no’ since the first day, I even told her
about Tae…” he adds. “Today, she fucking kissed me, and I’m so upset over it, because I can’t
even— I can’t do anything about it, no one would do anything if I complained, because I’m a guy
and much older than her.” he groans, frustrated. “I’ve rejected her multiple times before, but today
she fucking crossed the line by doing that shit, and I’m pissed about it.”
“Knowing you, I find it really weird that you’re not crying right now.” Eunjae notes.
“Huh?” Jungkook looks at her, puzzled. “Should I be crying—?”
“Because you’re in trouble.” she shrugs. “Tae’s going to be pissed.”
“What—? Why would he be pissed?”
“A teenage girl just had that much strength that you couldn’t avoid the kiss or push her away,
when you’re so big and undeniably strong?” Eunjae asks with an eyebrow raised, and Jungkook’s
face crumbles in a frown. “That’s what I’d think if I were in Tae’s place, so I’m just saying. That’s
probably what he’s going to think, especially since he had a cheating ex…”
“I was holding books, Jae… My hands were occupied.” he tries, voice small.
“But will he believe that? Dude, I’m just saying, because I care about you, and I’m just preparing
you. I’d be pissed so be ready for that sort of reaction.” Eunjae shrugs, picking at her nails. She
doesn’t notice how her words make Jungkook’s eyes grow even more worried, redder.
“Oh, my God.” Jungkook’s hands are quickly back on his hair, tugging at it. “What if he breaks up
with me because of this? I-I didn’t fucking want the kiss.” he speaks, more to himself than
anything, his voice breaking.
“You’ll have to deal with it…” his coworker sighs, and he looks away. “Either hide it from him,
which would be horrible of you, or be honest, and face the consequences. Be ready.”
Jungkook closes his eyes tightly to avoid crying on the job again. She’s right. Eunjae is usually
always right; despite being so young, she’s wise when she wants to be. It makes him start to sweat,
his mind spinning with the multiple scenarios running through it.
Taehyung wasn’t there, he didn’t see what happened, so he didn’t see how the kiss was forced,
one-sided, and unwanted. What if he doesn’t just trust Jungkook’s word? Eunjae is right, he’ll
doubt him, because he’s already faced such things with his ex-fiancé.
He looks over at his coworker, the young girl already back to talking to a customer, and his hands
start shaking. He’s screwed. He can’t believe that this is happening, and he just wants to run home,
get in bed and never get up again.
He can’t possibly hide it from Taehyung, that’s not even an option. Even though he didn’t want the
kiss, their lips still touched for two or three seconds — Does that count as cheating?
“Oh, my fucking God…” he mumbles, heart racing. How is he any better than Hyungsik if he
cheated on his boyfriend? The girl is tiny and, if he weren’t holding the books, he could’ve
prevented the kiss. Taehyung won’t just believe him blindly, he’s sure.
He wasn’t nervous before, merely angry with the situation, but now he can barely breathe.
Taehyung’s going to leave him.
│►
“Hey, girl.” Taehyung greets a jumping Moon, throwing his bag onto the couch. “Where’s your
dad, hm?” he asks, rhetorically, rubbing Simba’s stomach for a short second, before she has the
chance to claw at his hand. “Is he in the kitchen…?” he’s proven incorrect when he finds it empty,
so he frowns. “Where is he, girl?”
Moon just follows him with her tail happily wagging from side to side as he walks over to their
bedroom. There’s a lump in the middle of the bed, Jungkook’s back turned to him, but it still
makes him smile and quicken his steps to get closer.
He sits down on the mattress, leaning in as he carefully pulls the covers down just enough to show
the elder’s face. And his smile falls. Jungkook sniffs, tear-filled eyes staring up at his worried
ones. “Oh, God.” Taehyung lets out, pulling the covers further down. “Don’t cry, talk to me, what
happened?” he whispers, immediately wiping away a new tear that rolls down.
Jungkook just shakes his head.
“C’mon, hyungie. Breathe in, and out, slowly. Talk to me.” Taehyung smiles, encouragingly, as he
bends down to press a kiss to Jungkook’s forehead. “Tell me what happened…”
“Something really bad happened, and— and Eunjae told me to hide it, b-but I can’t. I can’t hide it
from you.” his words sound a little incoherent, voice getting caught in his throat alongside a sob
that almost comes out. “You’ll hate me…” he cries.
“Sit up, c’mon.” Taehyung finds his hands under the covers, helping him into a sitting position
instead. “Talk to me, hyung. Why would I hate you?” but Jungkook remains quiet. “Did… Did you
drink again?” he tries helping by guessing.
Jungkook wants to say yes; yes, he did, as soon as he got home. But, instead, he shakes his head
with another sniff. “No, it’s not about that.”
“Alright, tell me what this is about, then.” Taehyung encourages.
The elder swallows his tears, bracing himself for what’s to come. “Do you remember that girl that
gave me her number?” the blonde nods. “She— I was leaving the classroom to head to work, and
she stopped me. She started flirting again, and I told her no, as you can imagine, but then she— she
—” he closes his eyes with a soundless cry. “She kissed me. She just grabbed my head and fucking
kissed me, Tae.”
Taehyung blinks, processing his words. Then, he smiles. Jungkook sniffs, positively confused
when the younger man combs through his hair and kisses his forehead again.
“W-What are you doing?”
“I’m calming you down, dummy.” the blonde says, pulling him into a hug so that he can slowly
rock Jungkook’s. “Breathe in slowly, c’mon. Relax…” he instructs, caressing the back of his head.
“You’re not mad?” Jungkook has to pull away to face him. Taehyung can see the genuine confused
in his eyes, the fear. Eunjae gave him solid, real reasons as to why Taehyung would be angry, hate
him, but there he is — smiling, hugging him. Why isn’t he angry?
“I am very angry, Kook. I’m angry at the girl, because she’s made you cry, and touched my silly
boyfriend in a way that she shouldn’t have. At you, though? Not one bit. Why would I be angry at
you, baby?” Taehyung turns the question around.
“Because… Because I— I uh…”
“Because you were kissed against your will, by someone who you’ve turned down multiple
times?” Jungkook frowns, eyes closing again when he lets out another sob, a wave of relief
washing over him as he realizes that Taehyung isn’t angry, doesn’t hate him. Taehyung’s so
understanding, he should’ve known. “Oh, don’t cry. I’m not mad, you shouldn’t cry, c’mon.”
“I thought that we were over because of her.” Jungkook admits through his tears. “I was so fucking
scared, Tae. I thought that you were going to leave me because of this, and I’ve been panicking for
hours now. Fuck, man, I could barely breathe.”
Taehyung pulls him onto his chest, playing with his black hair. “Would you leave me if I told you
that someone kissed me against my will?” he asks, and Jungkook sniffs, thinking about it.
He pulls away. “I don’t… I don’t think that I’d leave even if you kissed someone with intent…”
Taehyung feels whiplash from those words, heart sinking. “As a therapist and someone who’s been
there, that concerns me immensely, but I’ll take that as a simple ‘no’ for now. We’ll definitely talk
about that soon, though.” he just about informs. “But, tell me: why did you think that I’d be angry
at you because of some girl that doesn’t understand what ‘no’ means?”
Jungkook looks down. “I was afraid that you’d think that I could’ve avoided the kiss. I was holding
my books, and she just went for it. I promise that I would’ve pushed her, Tae. I dropped my books
right away to fucking push her away.” he explains. “I didn’t want the kiss. Not one bit.”
“I know, I know.” Taehyung smiles, kissing Jungkook’s forehead multiple times. “I know my
amazing boyfriend, and I know that he’d never do that to me.” he assures. “I know you, Kook.”
“Can you kiss me so that I know for sure that you’re not mad at me?” Jungkook requests, and the
blonde giggles before joining their lips. He pecks them as many times as needed until it makes the
elder smile.
“There we go, that beautiful smile.” that only makes Jungkook’s smile widen. “I promise you that
I’m not angry, not even upset at you. You weren’t at fault, baby.”
Jungkook sighs. He knew this, he wasn’t worried until Eunjae made him start believing things that
she shouldn’t have even thought of. “Can you cuddle me, please? I’m in a sensitive mood.”
“Oh, I’ll cuddle you for as long as you’d like.” Taehyung places a hand on Jungkook’s chest,
guiding him backwards onto the mattress, before lying by his side. He rests his head on his strong
chest, smiling when two arms immediately circle him, pulling him closer. “I’m here. You’re ok.”
“I love you so fucking much…” Jungkook whispers, relieved.
Taehyung kisses his chest. “Rest, hyung. Rest your mind…”
│►
“…and so Yunseok just kind of went with it.” Jungkook laughs lightly at his own story, looking up
at his boyfriend when he doesn’t hear any reaction from him. Taehyung’s eyes are focused on his
plate, completely silent. “Baby? Is my story that boring?” he teases.
“What— Oh, I’m so sorry. I was distracted. Can you repeat it, please?”
“What’s wrong?” Jungkook asks while reaching for Taehyung’s hand, holding it on top of the
table. “Are you mad?” Taehyung sighs, because he’s definitely not mad, but he’s so worried that
he can barely find the words to explain what he’s thinking about. “C’mon, my love. Tell me what’s
bothering you.” he encourages him to speak.
Taehyung puts his chopsticks down, looking up at him right in the eyes. “Would you seriously stay
with me if I cheated on you?” he asks, unsure if that’s even the right question to ask, or the right
way to word himself.
“I love you.” Jungkook answers without hesitating.
“I know, but so what? Would that excuse the fact that I would be doing something that would show
zero respect for you and our relationship?” Taehyung presses, eyebrows knitted together.
“I love you, though.” Jungkook repeats, pulling his hand away.
“Hyung, you’re too smart and emotionally mature to be saying this. You can see how wrong these
things are, you were the only one able to open my eyes about Hyungsik, so how can you believe
that cheating on you would be acceptable just because you love me? I loved him, too, so does that
make it ok?”
“It’s different.”
“No, it’s the exact same.” Taehyung shakes his head with a frustrated frown. “No one should take
advantage of your love and respect like that. No one. I don’t believe you, either. I know that you’re
aware that it’d be a low move, so don’t lie to me. You know it, don’t you?”
Jungkook sighs, running a hand through his hair. “I know, I do, but I can’t see myself losing you,
so I’d take it. I’d take it, because I love you so fucking much that being without you would hurt
more than dealing with the pain of you cheating. It would destroy me, and ruin all the blind trust
that I have in you, but… but you’d be here, so I’d take it.” he explains, aware of just how awful it
sounds. “Why are we talking about this? I know that you’re not going to cheat on me.”
“I won’t, you’re right, but hearing you say this makes me want to cry. I hate that you value yourself
this little… You’re the best person in the world, you’re the freaking light of my life, and the fact
that you think so little of yourself breaks my heart. I can’t— I can’t accept that you don’t respect
yourself enough. God, hyung, you should put yourself on a damn pedestal.”
“You’d think the same way if you were me.” Jungkook says with a little forced smile. “You’ll end
up seeing what I see when I see myself, and there isn’t a day that I’m not fucking scared of it
happening… The day that you run out of love for me, you’ll understand what I mean when I say
this. I’m hard to love, and I’m a challenge to deal with. You’ll see it one day.”
Taehyung’s jaw slacks, shocked, but the other gets up before he can say anything.
“I can’t believe that I’ve served you dinner without water… I’ll get you a glass.” Jungkook says as
he takes a few steps away, opening the right cabinet.
Taehyung gulps. “If you want to end the conversation, you can just say so, hyung.”
Jungkook pauses as he fills up the glass with water, and sighs to himself. “I’d rather not having this
conversation, then. If that’s ok.” he requests, his back still turned to his boyfriend.
“Of course.” Taehyung nods. “Just sit back down, okay? It’s not like I haven’t been drinking from
your glass up until now.” he admits, and Jungkook eyes his own glass, seeing how it, indeed,
doesn’t have the same amount of water that he left in it.
“Okay.” Jungkook pouts, sitting back down. “Are you upset?”
“A little.” he sighs. “I don’t want you to think like that of yourself, because I truly believe that
you’re the most amazing human being that I’ve ever had the chance to meet, and I’ll make sure
that with time, you’ll gain some self-love. You’ll look in the mirror and love yourself one day.”
“That will be hard to accomplish…”
“I’ll try my hardest.” Taehyung smiles, certain. “You should see yourself at least a little of how I
see you, and I’ll never stop trying to achieve that. You’ve made me have some self-respect, and if I
look at my own reflection and think that I look good, and that I deserve the love that I receive from
you, it’s because of you and you alone.” he shares, reaching for Jungkook’s hand to hold it again.
“You did that for me, and I’ll help you get there, as well.”
Jungkook takes a moment to process the words, before smiling, his eyes shining with an
unfathomable amount of love. “I love you so fucking much.” he whispers. “Let’s go take a walk
after dinner, I want to have a good end of the day with you.”
Taehyung smiles. “That sounds perfect, hyung.”
“Thank you for listening to me…”
“I’ll always be here to do so.”
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 65 │►
Chapter Notes
So... double update today!

More tags added!
“You go get it.” Jungkook nudges his boyfriend with his arm when Moon wakes them up crying by
the door. “Tae…! Go open the door for her.” he instructs, unwilling to move a single muscle so
early in the morning.
“It’s your dog, go open the door yourself.” Taehyung mumbles, turning around and, therefore,
turning his back to the older man. Jungkook groans, sleepy, sitting up as he rubs his eyes. All that
the dog wants to do is to leave the bedroom, possibly to either drink or eat, so she keeps scraping
the door with her front paw to get their attention.
Jungkook opens the door for her, quickly returning to the bed where he plops himself almost on top
of the younger man. “Hm…” he hums by his ear, breathing in Taehyung’s cologne.
They’re both quiet for a while, but Taehyung ends up huffing and pushing him away — which
positively makes Jungkook roll away to the side. “I can’t fall asleep now, and I blame you and your
dog.” he faces the ceiling, arms crossed. “What time is it?”
“I blame Moon alone, actually.” Jungkook lifts himself up on his elbows, reaching for his phone to
unlock the screen. “We have a little over thirty minutes before my alarm goes off.” he informs as
he lays back down on his side, facing his boyfriend.
Taehyung turns sideways, too, and they smile at each other. “Hyung, you look so cute after waking
up.” he comments, gently pushing Jungkook’s bangs away from his eyes. “Your cheeks are always
a bit puffy, and it’s so adorable…” he adds, poking them.
“I’m not cute.” Jungkook defends. “You’re the cute one in this relationship.”
“No one asked you.” Taehyung smiles, leaning in to kiss his cheek. “Are you feeling better today?”
Jungkook nods, unable to say anything when his boyfriend leans in to kiss his forehead, followed
by another one on his cheek, and going down to his jaw.
Jungkook just lets him do whatever it is that he wants to do, whatever it might be, even tilting his
head to the side to grant him better access when Taehyung’s lips adventure even lower to kiss his
neck ever so gently. Jungkook’s skin responds right away, erupting in goosebumps as his neck has
always been a rather sensitive place.
“Good morning to you, too.” Jungkook teases, which makes Taehyung giggles against his throat.
Taehyung pulls back with a blush high on his cheeks, and Jungkook can see how he’s bravely
pushing himself to be able to do such things, but he doesn’t look uncomfortable. If anything,
there’s a hint of pride behind his eyes that make Jungkook’s heart flutter.
So, in a wave of adoration, he proceeds to decide that today he doesn’t care about morning breath,
and he joins their lips. It’s slow at first, both of them enjoying the warmth under the sheets as
Jungkook’s hand holds Taehyung’s hip with his thumb creating little circles on his skin.
He tries to chase after Taehyung’s lips when they disappear, but there’s a hand on his chest right
after that pushes him back down. Taehyung breathes in, biting down on his bottom lip as he throws
one leg over Jungkook’s lap, straddling him.
Jungkook’s hands immediately drop down to his thighs, squeezing them. “Getting brave, my
love?” he asks, teasingly, and Taehyung pouts.
“Shut it.” the blonde mumbles, bending down to kiss him once again. Jungkook chuckles against
his lips, letting his hands start to roam: they slowly feel up Taehyung’s soft thighs, only to end up
on his butt —testing the waters. Taehyung doesn’t do anything to remove them, so he keeps them
there. If he gives it a little squeeze, neither address it.
The kiss, very unfortunately, doesn’t last more than a short minute, given that Taehyung pulls back
just enough to look down at the older man. Jungkook gives him a reassuring smile, trying to show
him with his eyes that Taehyung can do whatever he wants. Jungkook’s there for him.
For that reason, he only tilts his head back when Taehyung goes back to nipping at his neck, lips
exploring the soft skin. Taehyung smiles, proud of himself when his ministrations punch a low
moan out of Jungkook, and so he continues focusing on that spot.
“Baby—” Jungkook tries, only to stop when Taehyung leaves a teasing bite to the most sensitive
spot under his ear. “Shit.” he hisses, his hips kicking up on their own. “Sorry, I’m sorry.” he
immediately apologizes, worried that he might have just made him uncomfortable.
However, “It’s okay.” Taehyung whispers, pulling away to look down at him again. His cheeks are
flushed, Jungkook’s pupils are blown wide with a certain kind of lust that he’s never seen before,
and their lips are equally as swollen. “I-I didn’t mind it.” he admits, shy.
Jungkook raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t have the time to tease him again as Taehyung kisses him
again, hands creeping inside the elder’s shirt to rest over his abdomen. Just resting there, not quite
moving. Jungkook hums when Taehyung shifts on top of him, creating friction in all the right
places.
His grip on Taehyung’s thighs tightens so that he can switch their positions, laying Taehyung on
his back. “Is this okay, baby?” he asks, only for Taehyung to part his legs for him to rest between
them. Jungkook smiles, kissing him again. Harder this time. With more intent. “I fucking love your
lips, baby.” he groans, but doesn’t kiss them again, moving to Taehyung’s neck instead.
Neither notice when Jungkook slowly starts to move his hips, movements slow and dragged.
Taehyung closes his eyes when he realizes it, head thrown back against the pillow at the faint
pleasure that starts to build along with the kisses. “Hyung…” he calls, only to interrupt himself
with a little moan when Jungkook starts sucking on the skin behind his ear.
Jungkook’s movements get a little harder then, relishing on the reactions, and he eats every sound
that Taehyung makes. He does his best to control himself, not to push too hard, not to speed up too
much, because he’d hate himself if he made Taehyung uncomfortable.
Judging by the way that Taehyung’s hands grip the sheets, though, he guesses that he’s not
uncomfortable. “Does it feel good?” Jungkook asks, dragging himself up enough for his thigh to be
pressed right between Taehyung’s legs, which grants him a louder moan. He smirks. “Hm?”
“Y-Yes…” Taehyung looks up, eyebrows furrowed and cheeks flushed. “Please, don’t stop…”
“I won’t, baby.” Jungkook assures, hand loosely grabbing Taehyung’s jaw to angle it right so that
he can start attacking his neck once again. “Seeing you like this has already made my fucking day.
You’re so fucking adorable, gosh.” he praises. “Sound so beautiful to my ears…”
Taehyung whines, not even noticing the way that he starts grinding down on Jungkook’s thick
thigh — on the other hand, Jungkook does notice it, so he starts meeting his movements to help
him. The younger man holds onto his waist for some grounding, biting down on his bottom lip so
hard that Jungkook worries that he might hurt himself.
He gently thumbs at his lip, freeing it.
They keep it for as long as needed, until Taehyung’s little noises aren’t as controlled anymore, and
Jungkook starts getting lost in them. In the position that he’s adopted, he barely gets any friction
himself, but he focuses entirely on getting Taehyung there first and foremost.
The lack of familiarity when it comes to actually good sexual experiences makes Taehyung feel
close to the edge in a matter of minutes, and he also blames his still sleepy state that certainly
doesn’t help. He opens his eyes, looking up. “Hyung.” he calls, watching as Jungkook opens his
lids, too, eyes dark. “I’m— I think— I-I’m close.”
Jungkook smiles, kissing him once again. “Go for it, c’mon.” he encourages, pressing his thigh a
little harder. Taehyung makes a choked noise. “You’re doing amazing, baby. Looking so fucking
beautiful, too.” he praises by his ear, biting his lobe. “C’mon. Hyung’s waiting.”
Taehyung’s overwhelmed, to say the least. No one has ever made him feel this good and, knowing
that it’s Jungkook doing so, only makes it feel better. He can’t keep it in anymore. It feels too good
to stop, too good to resist the urge to just give in to the euphoric feeling.
Jungkook doesn’t stop his leg as Taehyung finally loses himself in the feeling, letting out a longer
and dragged-out moan of Jungkook’s name. Jungkook loves it. He loves to hear his name being
moaned, and even more coming from Taehyung. It’s like music to his ears.
Taehyung’s body sags on the bed, chest moving quickly up and down.
“You did great, my love.” Jungkook smiles, pushing his blonde bangs away from his forehead so
that he can kiss it. “So great.” Taehyung’s eyes are still closed, his mouth still ajar, and it makes
him chuckle. “Are you with me?” he asks, teasingly.
“Yeah. Yeah, I am.” Taehyung nods, voice a little hoarse. Jungkook’s left a little speechless when
the younger man flips them around, hands reaching to open his sweatpants. He can see the
determination behind Taehyung’s eyes to give him something back, but he can also see the
hesitation, the shakiness to his hands.
As much as he’d love having either Taehyung’s hands or mouth on him, as hard as he is, he can’t
possibly let him go on when he’s not certain of it. “That’s enough, baby.” he sits up, kissing the
blonde’s cheek twice. “You already did so good, there’s no need to push yourself more.”
“But it’s only fair that I do something back, just—” Taehyung frowns. “I can do it…”
“I don’t doubt that you could, but besides being short on time—” he stops when his alarm starts
ringing, in the most perfect timing; he turns it off. “Besides being short on time, I don’t want you to
do anything that you’re not absolutely sure of. You already did amazing by letting this happen, and
I feel fucking incredible for getting to hear you like that. We broke a little barrier, we’re getting
there, yeah?” Jungkook smiles, kissing the tip of his nose. “I’m proud of you.”
Taehyung pouts, defeated. “But…”
“No buts, love.” another kiss, this time on his lips. “Can I take a shower first? I know that you’re
all sticky right now, but I feel like I’m going to fucking explode if I don’t do anything about—”
“Yeah, you can.” Taehyung interrupts, pressing his finger against his lips. “I wish that I could’ve
made you feel as good as you made me…”
“Oh, you did. I could cum just from listening to you.” Jungkook smirks, thriving on the way that
his words make Taehyung blush again. “Don’t worry your pretty little head. I felt amazing, and you
did incredibly.” he assures. “I’ll go shower now.”
“Okay, I’ll wait…” Taehyung nods, body still feeling floaty as he lays down.
Truth be said, he’s never felt this relaxed.
He already wants to do it again.
│►
“You’re welcome, have an amazing day.” Jungkook bows, smiling politely to the older woman as
he hands over her takeout coffee, and she mirrors the actions before leaving. He can feel the weight
of someone’s stare on the back of his head, so he turns.
Eunjae has a plate in her hand, a rag in the other, acting as though she’s doing anything. It’s too
early to actually do anything. “Did you and Tae talk about yesterday’s incident?” she asks once she
realizes that he’s looking at her, questioningly.
“Yes, we did.” Jungkook nods, crumbling the untaken receipt in the trash. “He got super pissed at
the girl, but did an amazing job at calming me down… I don’t even want to see her ag—”
“Wait, only at the girl?” she tilts her head. “He didn’t get mad at you?”
Jungkook sighs, trying to keep his calm. “I didn’t want to kiss her, Jae.”
“It still takes two people for a kiss to happen.”
“It’s not like I fucking wanted it to happen.” he throws his hands, exasperated, his patience wearing
thin; he shouldn’t have to explain himself like this, and definitely shouldn’t even care this much
about making his point clear. Taehyung understood what happened, and that’s all that really
matters, but still. He can’t possibly let someone believe that he wanted the kiss.
“Kisses are predictable. It was a teen girl, and you’re all bulky and big… How could you not have
prevented it?” Eunjae asks, and Jungkook’s jaw slacks in disbelief. “I mean, you’re lucky that he
didn’t see it that way, but still…”
“You know what, don’t fucking talk to me.” Jungkook concludes, going around the counter to find
something to do: either be it clean up the tables, or ask the few customers if they’ll be needing
anything else, it’ll be more interesting and less frustrating than talking to Eunjae.
It’s silent between the two for about forty minutes, but Jungkook eventually runs out of things to
do outside the counter — he even decided to thoroughly clean every empty chair, so that he could
avoid his coworker.
Once he has to go back behind the counter, Eunjae walks closer.
“Are you angry at me?” she asks.
“I’m fucking pissed, of course.” the young girl takes a step back, startled by the anger in his tone,
even if his voice doesn’t get any louder. “I shouldn’t, I know. You’re nineteen, you’re a fucking
kid, what do you know about life.” he bitterly chuckles, eyes leaving her. “Keep your distance.”
“There’s no need to be an ass to me right n—”
“No, Eunjae, you’re being an ass to me for no fucking reason, and, quite frankly, pretty ignorant,
too. You keep talking as if I wanted to kiss that girl when I didn’t, and think that it’s fucking ok to
tell me that my boyfriend should’ve left me. It’s not, I’ll let you know. It’s not fucking ok.”
“I just—”
“I’m taking my break now.” Jungkook informs, grabbing his phone from under the counter, and he
quickly dials Taehyung’s number before even getting to the break room. The line only beeps twice
before the call gets through. “Tae.” he breathes out.
“Hey, hyung.” Taehyung’s voice echoes a little, which indicates that he’s on speaker — at this
time in the morning, Taehyung is still getting ready for work. “You just clocked in, what’s up?”
“Just talk to me, please. I need to calm the fuck down.” Jungkook says as he sits on the floor, his
back against the door, sighing to himself. “How do I tell a nineteen-year-old that life isn’t as simple
and obvious as she believes it to be? How do I say, for the millionth time, that no, I didn’t want the
fucking kiss and that, no, I couldn’t have pushed the girl away?” he asks, frustrated and lacking
patience. “How do I get through her thick ass head that I’d never cheat on you?”
“Eunjae?”
“Who else…”
“Alright, breathe in and tell me what happened so that I can understand the context.”
“Tae, I’m having a fucking crisis, don’t ask me to breathe in.” he closes his eyes, rests his head
back. “She keeps saying that— She keeps insisting that I took part in the stupid kiss, because I’d be
able to push her away. I couldn’t, I was fucking attacked.”
“Does she know the full thing? Does she know that it wasn’t consensual…?” Taehyung asks, and it
sounds as if he has a toothbrush in his mouth.
“Yes, she does, but she still assumes that I could’ve pushed her away just because I’m a man, and
I’m tall. You know that I would’ve done it, Tae. I’m so fucking in love with you, just thinking
about kissing someone else feels wrong. I would’ve pushed her if I could.”
“I know, I know… don’t get worked up about it again, I know.” the younger man reassures him,
spitting out what he guesses to be toothpaste. “Must I go there and solve this issue between the two
of you?” he asks.
Jungkook frowns. “I’m not a kid!”
“You’re calling me…”
“To hear your charming and calming voice.” he argues, sighing again. “I’m just mad, and upset,
and I don’t have any idea of where to go from here. I considered her my friend, but I genuinely
don’t even want to talk to her, or look at her. I want her away from me.”
“I can call her if you’d like—”
“Love, I’m twenty-eight.”
“Then go back to work, and tell her what you’re telling me. Put her in her place, if you must do so.
What she’s doing is unacceptable, and extremely inconsiderate. I hate that she’s trying to make you
feel guilty of what happened, because you weren’t… in the slightest.”
“But I don’t want to go back…!” he whines.
“Oh, God, just go!” Taehyung laughs.
“I’m never marrying you if you continue being like this to me. So vile.” that does make Taehyung
laugh wholeheartedly, and the sound is enough to make a very frustrated Jungkook smile.
“I’m not vile, baby, I’m just unsure of how to go about this when you don’t want me to actually do
anything… I’m here, standing in the bathroom, dying to pee really badly so that I can go get
dressed for work, but my grown, thirty-year-old man is on the phone because he’s had a fight with
a teenager.” Taehyung teases, and Jungkook smirks.
“You’re about to pee?” the other just hums. “Send me pictures.”
“Jesus— Shut up!” the blonde almost squeals. “Just go back, and tell her how you feel about this
situation. Say a mean word or two if you have to, but make sure to make your point clear, and get it
across. As much as I like Jae, she can’t treat you like this… But you also can’t hide in the break
room, baby. Just go back, be the confident man that you are. Talk to her, yeah?”
“Alright… I’ll head back.” Jungkook sighs. “I love you, thank you for calming me down.”
“You don’t have to thank me, I’m your boyfriend… this is what I must do.” Taehyung assures, and
he smiles. “Have a good day, yeah? Call me if you need more calming words.” and, amidst
‘goodbye’s, it still takes them another minute before being able to end the call, as usual.
They never know how to do it.
He hasn’t even fully pocketed his phone when his coworker captures his attention again. “Is the
tantrum over?” is the words that Eunjae chooses, and it makes him halt in his step, before his
expression morphs into the most serious look that she’s ever seen on him.
“Ok, I’m fucking fed up. You need to hear something, Jae, because you’re a smart girl, but you’re
acting really, really stupid and immature.” Eunjae tries to open her mouth, but he’s faster. “Men
can be taken advantage of, too. We can be assaulted, or attacked, or whatever name that you’d like
to put on it. If I say that I didn’t want it to happen, then it’s because I didn’t. Stop assuming and
insinuating otherwise. I don’t need you commenting on anything that doesn’t concern you, nor do I
need you to make me feel guilty over shit that is not my fault.”
Eunjae simply stares at him, gulping.
“Isn’t it so fucking funny that you crucified Yun, and got so protective over me when she forced
herself on me and, yet, you’re the first one to point a fucking finger at me right now.” he chuckles
bitterly. “I’d expect a lot more from someone who I’ve been considering a friend for months now,
who I thought that I could trust, and open up to.”
“Jung—”
“No, this is where you zip it.” his voice raises just the slightest, still not enough for the customers
to hear; he takes a step closer. “You’re going to shut up, and you’ll listen. I’m not your age, and
I’m typically ok with young people making jokes and treating me as equal, but have some fucking
respect for once in your goddamn life.”
“I’m listening…” she assures, quietly.
“I understand that she’s a college student, much smaller and much younger, and apparently, it’s
really hard for you to understand that I couldn’t push her away, but you weren’t there. You have no
idea of how things happened and, if I had known that you, of all people, would’ve been the one to
tell me that my boyfriend should leave me for it, then I wouldn’t have told you shit.”
Eunjae looks down, taking a moment. “I’m sorry.” she whispers.
“Save it. From now on, you’re my coworker and nothing more than that. You do your job, and I’ll
do mine.” he effectively ends the conversation by grabbing the nearest rag so that he can go clean
the tables — again — as it’s far more interesting, and distracting.
“Y-You can’t just stop talking to me.” Eunjae says, alarmed.
Jungkook rolls his eyes. “I can, and I will.” he wants to leave, but there are still words trapped in
his throat, and he can’t possibly not let them out. “Fucking shit, Eunjae. You were there from the
start. You know better than anyone how I fucking feel about Tae, so how dare you even try to
make me feel bad about the kiss? How dare you make me believe that my relationship was on the
line? Did you even stop to think of how I felt believing it? Thinking that Tae and I would be over
because of some stupid teenager…?” he words it, words pained. “I can’t even be next to you right
now. It’s pissing me off.”
“You’re being immature.” she says, and he can tell that it’s a defense mechanism, but he’s too
angry himself to care for it. He just needs to get out of there quickly.
“Why did I think that being friends with a kid would be a good idea…” he says to himself,
positively walking away from the counter so that he can busy his mind with every single small
doable in a coffee shop.
He’s silent for the rest of the shift, focusing on nothing but serving the customers and keeping
things under control. He couldn’t care less about Eunjae sneaking glances, or the way that she
keeps opening and closing her mouth — hesitating to say something. He’s thankful for that. He
doesn’t even want to hear her voice.
He doesn’t want to talk to her.
│►
Jungkook gets home late. It’s already past dinner time, and he did send his boyfriend a message to
let him know that he was already on the way but, judging by the lack of reply, Taehyung must
already be asleep. He sighs as he unlocks the door, tired from such a day.
He’s barely closed the door when a pair of lips presses against his own — hard. His eyes widen,
still holding the books from earlier classes. “Oh—” he tries to speak through his surprise; so his
boyfriend isn’t asleep. “Ok— We’re kissing.”
Taehyung pulls back to get the books from his hands, before placing them on the nearest surface.
He doesn’t say a single word, only steps closer to continue the kisses.
Jungkook breaks them, puzzled. “What’s going on?” he asks.
“Can’t I just kiss my boyfriend?” Taehyung asks back with a smile, holding the collar of
Jungkook’s leather jacket to push him further against the wall, thus closing it. The elder would be
lying with every bone in his body if he said that he doesn’t love this side of Taehyung.
“Of course, you can, but this isn’t the usual hello that I get.” he rationalizes.
“Are you going to continue talking or…?”
“Surprisingly, no.” Jungkook smiles as he removes his own jacket, carelessly throwing it to the
couch. “We can continue kissing now.” he cups Taehyung’s cheeks, already leaning in, but the
blonde smiles, and pries his hand away to hold it instead. Jungkook blinks, confused, as he’s
simply led to the hall. “I’m… feeling very suspicious.”
Taehyung giggles. “Why?”
“You’re acting weird.” he squints. “Did you do something? Did you break something? God, did my
Moon run away again— No, she’s right there… What happened?” but Taehyung doesn’t utter a
single word, simply pulling him along by the hand into their room. “Tae. I’m paranoid.”
“Jiminie told me to be brave and just go for it…” Taehyung finally says, closing the door behind
them. Jungkook stands in the middle of the room with a confused look in his eyes. “So that’s what
I’m doing. I’m going for it.”
“Going for what—” Jungkook’s positively interrupted by another hard kiss, two hands now
cupping the sides of his face. “Oh, shit.” he mumbles against the blonde’s lips. Taehyung smiles
between the kiss, stepping even closer. “Wait, wait, wait.” Jungkook has to break it off, even if all
that he wants is to kiss Taehyung all night long.
“Yeah?” Taehyung opens his eyes, pupils already a little lazy. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong, I just want to make sure that we’re on the same page here, because I may be
reading this completely wrong.” Jungkook clears his throat, trying to focus on Taehyung’s eyes,
rather than his lips. “Are we both thinking about the same thing?”
Taehyung nods, a shy blush spreading across his cheeks. “We are, yes.”
“Shit, okay.” Jungkook’s eyes widen for a split second, exhaustion from classes slipping away
from his body as he takes a step closer. “Thank God that I shaved yesterday.” he says with a
chuckle, and Taehyung doesn’t have the time to say anything, as their lips meet again.
Jungkook’s hands slowly slide down Taehyung’s sides, feeling his curves as they go, before
tugging on his shirt. Taehyung only raises his arms. He’s a little nervous, rightfully so, but he trusts
his boyfriend with everything that he has, and he won’t let his nerves ruin the moment again. For
that reason, he allows Jungkook to remove his shirt, throwing it to the floor.
The ceiling light is off, and the only source is coming from the small lamp on Taehyung’s
nightstand. It’s enough for them to see each other perfectly, but dark enough to make it feel more
intimate. The yellowness from the lamp makes Taehyung’s golden skin glow, and Jungkook can
barely take his eyes away from it to continue.
He bends down to grab him by his thighs, and Taehyung yelps when he’s easily hoisted up. “I’m as
light as a feather to you, aren’t I?” he asks, unabashedly squeezing Jungkook’s biceps. He loves
them; he’s always been impressed by Jungkook’s strength.
“Hm, does it turn you on?” Jungkook smirks, and Taehyung’s too embarrassed to actually answer
the question, so he pulls him in for another kiss instead. Taehyung is soon laid down on the
mattress, carefully, and the kiss doesn’t last much longer than that, so that Jungkook can take a
proper look at him.
Taehyung’s cheeks are flushed, and he stares up at him with a little smile.
“Are you sure about this?” Taehyung nods. “No, baby, I need you to speak. Talk to me, tell me.”
The blonde bites down on his bottom lip when he feels a wet kiss on his chest, but Jungkook is
quick to hover over him again for their eyes to meet. “I’m sure about this, hyung.” he assures, his
hands reaching for Jungkook’s shirt to tug it off, further making his intentions clear. He’s not shy in
the way that he ogles Jungkook’s abdomen, nor the way that he runs his hand over it.
Jungkook doesn’t want it to be about himself, though, so he leans down, starting a path of little wet
kisses from behind Taehyung’s ear, down to his chest — across his collarbones, down to his soft
stomach. Taehyung makes the prettiest sounds, one hand fisting the sheets while the other is
tangled in his boyfriend’s dark hair.
The kisses stop right above the hem of his jeans, and Jungkook hesitates for a second, so he scoots
back up to kiss Taehyung’s lips once again. “Are you ok?” he whispers, combing away the blonde
bangs to press a kiss on his forehead as well.
“Yeah, I’m perfect.” Taehyung reassures, eyes closing when the kisses return on his neck. He can
just tell that his neck will be painted in reds and purples by the time that they’re done, which
shouldn’t be as hot as it is. Jungkook uses the distraction to open Taehyung’s button.
“Can I take them off?” Jungkook whispers behind his ear, kissing it again. Taehyung nods, but
that’s not enough for him — he wants to hear it. “Hm, my love?”
“You can, yes.” Taehyung rushes to say, tone just as quiet, and Jungkook’s warmth disappears as
he sits on his heels to be able to remove Taehyung’s jeans. He has to fight his nerves, and the will
to cover himself up, aware that he doesn’t have to cover up — it’s Jungkook.
Jungkook loves him, and will take care of him.
His jeans are off soon enough, the elder throwing them to the floor, as well. His mouth opens, but
quickly closes when he spots a small bottle of lubricant on the nightstand. He leans closer to grab
it, and Taehyung looks away before their eyes can even meet.
Jungkook decides not to comment just this once, taking pity on him, but thoroughly feeling
appreciative of the fact that Taehyung prepared everything for them. “Can I prep you?” he asks
instead, kissing both of Taehyung’s cheeks. “Would you be ok with it? I promise to be gentle…”
“Oh, I— I already, uhm—” he stops, unable to finish his sentence, and Jungkook swears that he’s
never seen Taehyung this flushed.
“Before I arrived?” Taehyung nods, shy. “That’s so fucking hot, holy shit.” he groans, his eyelids
fluttering as he imagines what must’ve happened in his absence. “Did you think of me or did you
watch some porn?” he teases, tickling his side.
“My God.” he mumbles. “I hate you, truly, get away from me.” but Jungkook knows him well
enough to sense — and hear — the clear humor behind his words, and how Taehyung doesn’t
mean it.
So, Jungkook laughs. “I just want you to feel comfortable, and I’m trying to ease your nerves away,
my love.” he says, and Taehyung could cry. He’s never felt this cared for, this loved. “Can I,
please, do something for you first, then? Since I can’t prep you…”
“Yeah…” he answers, albeit a little confused. Jungkook kisses him one last time before reaching
for the first drawer to get himself a hair tie, and Taehyung watches as he messily gathers his hair to
tie it up, some of the locks falling on the sides of his face, either way.
“I haven’t sucked a dick in ages, so pardon me if I’m a little out of shape.” Jungkook warns.
“Is that— You really don’t have to, I should be the one t— Hyung, I—” there’s a finger on his lips
a mere second after, prompting him to stop speaking.
“Just rest back and enjoy it, alright?” Jungkook instructs, and Taehyung nods. “Are you ok with
this? Can I remove your underwear, baby?” when the blonde closes his eyes to inhale, before
opening them back up and nodding, Jungkook feels an immense wave of pride.
He’s so proud of Taehyung. He’s so in love with him.
“Hyungie?” Taehyung calls in a whisper.
Jungkook’s fingers stop immediately as they were just starting to hook under the waistband of the
younger’s underwear. “Yes, my love?” he checks.
“I thought of you… I didn’t watch any porn.” he reveals, and it makes Jungkook let out a breathy
laugh that dies down once Taehyung pulls him for another kiss. This one kiss isn’t as heated as the
other ones: it’s relaxing, reassuring. Taehyung can’t believe that he feels so comfortable in this
position, almost naked and about to give himself to someone.
He’s never felt this restful towards anything sexual. His heart swells at that; at Jungkook.
Taehyung tries to chase after his lips when Jungkook breaks the kiss again, but soon understands
that he did it so that he could start pulling his underwear off. “Well, shit.” Jungkook comments, his
characteristic lack of shame making Taehyung blush — again. “I’m going to dislocate my jaw.”
“Can you not—!” Taehyung covers his face, shrieking.
“I’m sorry, you know that the filter between my thoughts and my mouth doesn’t work most of the
time.” Jungkook excuses, scooting down to kiss Taehyung’s sternum. “Besides, I’m just giving
you a compliment…” he adds, creating a little path of kisses.
“Your brain doesn’t work.” the blonde says through a pout, and Jungkook gasps, offended.
“What a menace…” Jungkook forces a sigh, but doesn’t stop his wet kisses from going south, and
south, and lower. Taehyung bites down on his lip as he watches Jungkook’s mouth getting closer to
his crotch, but the elder proceeds to avoid it, kissing his hip instead.
He feels a hand gently holding his ankle, and he allows Jungkook to bend his leg as much as he’d
like — the kisses then move to his thigh instead, sucking a little harsher than on his neck. It’ll
bruise, he knows, and he finds that he doesn’t dislike that.
Jungkook takes his sweet time kissing his body, as if worshiping it, without any rush.
Then, when he least expects, as his eyes are closed and his head is resting back on the pillow, he
feels a hand loosely holding him. “Oh—” he lets out, surprised, and Jungkook smiles, endeared.
He doesn’t want to tease Taehyung, doesn’t want to hear the whines and pleading that he so much
enjoys in any other context, but not tonight. Tonight is not the night for something like that: tonight
he wants to give Taehyung everything and more, wants to love him.
For that reason, he licks his lips and leans down with his free hand still holding Taehyung’s soft
thigh. Taehyung whines when he feels a warm mouth around him, sinking lower and lower with an
ease that he never had — he never wanted to do it, so his throat never really cooperated.
The elder bobs his head slowly but methodically, and it makes Taehyung’s hips buck up to meet
his mouth halfway. Jungkook gags a little at the intrusion, and Taehyung worries that he might’ve
done something terribly wrong, but his boyfriend holds his hips down so that he doesn’t repeat the
action, but doesn’t reprehend him, nor looks angry.
Jungkook lets out a shameless moan when Taehyung’s fingers tangle in his hair again, this time
tugging a little harder than before. He fixes his position, one of his hands aiding his mouth while
the other moves to link with Taehyung’s free one, and he can feel it — it’s new. It’s the first time
in his life that sex isn’t just sex. It’s so much more than that, and he loves the new feeling.
He’s filled with an immense need to make his boyfriend feel good, a need more intense than his
own desire to feel good, and it incites him to do even better. His head moves faster, his tongue
swirls with more intent, his cheeks hollow harder.
Every sound that Taehyung makes sounds like music to his ears, and he doesn’t know if the tears in
his own eyes are due to the intrusion in his throat, abusing his gagging reflex multiple times, or due
to how much he feels at once. He’s so in love, and he’ll do anything for Taehyung to feel good
right now, and always.
“Stop…” he hears after a few minutes, but his mind is a little too lazy to comply. “Wait— Stop,
stop now, hyung.” Taehyung warns, tugging on Jungkook’s already messy hair, voice strained.
Jungkook pulls back immediately, his first sharp inhale leading to a few coughs. “What’s wrong,
love?” he asks once he finds his voice, and it’s rough, abused. “Are you feeling alright?”
“Yes, yes, I just—” Taehyung gulps, trying to keep himself together. “I don’t want to finish like
that, and I was very close…” he admits, cheeks flushed. “That was very good.” he adds.
“Was it?” Jungkook smiles, his eyes with a natural squint as he looks up at him. “I love the sounds
that you make, you sound so pretty.” he compliments, reaching his hands up to rub at his own eyes,
and run them over his face to calm himself down.
Taehyung smiles when their eyes meet again, and he gladly accepts the hand that loosely holds his
jaw in place before Jungkook joins their lips. He can taste himself on Jungkook’s tongue, and he
should find it weird, or even gross, but he doesn’t; he only deepens the kiss.
The way that Jungkook tenderly combs his hair away from his face, and thumbs at his jaw during
the kiss, is gentle and slow, a contrast with how eagerly and filthily he was working his mouth
around Taehyung’s shaft.
He’s positively surprised when he feels a hand sneaking down his abdomen until they get to his
navel, followed by his button being open. “Take them off…” Taehyung whispers against his lips,
and he’d have to be a madman to ignore his wishes.
The task makes them share a few giggles, having to shift positions multiple times for Taehyung to
successfully throw the jeans to the floor, and he gulps at how naked Jungkook is, just like himself.
Jungkook’s been ignoring his own arousal until now, and Taehyung can tell that it must be hurting
by now, which he feels bad for.
“Would you like to put it on?” his head shakes for a moment, brought back by Jungkook’s voice,
only to realize that the elder is holding a small silver packet. He didn’t even see him move to get
the condom from the third drawer.
“You should do it.” Taehyung decides. “I’m, uhm, not sure of how to do it…” Jungkook tilts his
head, before giving him an endeared smile. He sits back on his heels, motioning Taehyung to sit up
as well — which he does right away.
Jungkook tears open the package with his teeth. “Give me your hands.” he requests, and places the
condom in one of Taehyung’s hands. The blonde worries at his bottom lip while following his
boyfriend’s instructions, and he blushes again when his hand is guided to his penis.
And Jungkook has to bite back a frustrated groan upon the first touch, his erection touch-starved
and aching. He helps Taehyung slide down the condom, and the younger looks up at him once
done, as if waiting for his word of approval.
“Well done.” Jungkook whispers, cupping Taehyung’s chin before leaning in for a kiss that lasts a
few seconds — there’s too much tongue, too much saliva, too much everything, but it only turns
them on even more, if possible. They break the kiss into small pecks, but Jungkook doesn’t pull
away completely.
No, he almost freezes, his eyes getting lost in Taehyung’s dilated pupils, and he feels his chest
almost too tight to breathe. Again, he’s so in love that it almost hurts.
“Hyung?” Taehyung calls with a giggle. “Are you here?”
“Yes, I am.” Jungkook blinks, kissing him again. “I’m sorry, baby, I’m just— I’m so fucked out
right now.” he admits with a lazy smile. “How do you want me? I’ll fucking do anything for you,
anything you want.” Taehyung closes his eyes, smiling at the kisses on his neck.
“I want—” Taehyung stops, unsure.
Jungkook blinks a couple of times, pulling back to look at him. He can see that the blonde is back
to being a little stiff, eyes a little shaky, and he can’t ignore it — he’d never ignore it. “We can
stop, baby.” he whispers, caressing his cheek. “I won’t be mad. Not even upset. If you want to stop,
then you can just tell me, and we will stop right now.”
“No, no, please. I’m just... a little nervous.”
“Tae, I’m so fucking proud of you for trying, and for trusting me with this, but we can stop. It
doesn’t matter that we’ve carried this until now, we’ll stop if you’re uncomfortable.” Jungkook
assures, kissing his forehead. “I promise you that it’s ok, if that’s what you feel.”
“I don’t want to stop.” Taehyung says with a pout. “I’m just nervous, but I don’t want to stop
this…” he whispers, swallowing drily at the silence that he’s met with. He doesn’t want Jungkook
to think that he’s being pushed into it, or that he’s uncomfortable. He’s not. Far from it.
He looks up when Jungkook moves, sitting with his back against the headboard. “C’mon, come
here, baby.” he instructs, patting his thighs. Taehyung scrambles to get closer, straddling him with
confidence. “You can do as you please, my love. I won’t do anything.” he says.
Taehyung rests his arms around Jungkook’s shoulders. “Will you allow me to go slow at first…?”
“Go as slow as you need, stop whenever you feel like it.” Jungkook smiles, settling his hands on
the other’s thighs. “I’m very proud of you for doing this, you’ve come so far… I’m so fucking
proud of you. Genuinely.” Taehyung’s heart feels as though it might just come out of his chest, and
he’s never ever felt like this. He’s never felt this safe, this respected.
For that very same reason, he lifts himself up all the while reaching a hand behind himself to align
them. Their eyes stay connected until he starts sinking, both unable to keep their lids open any
longer. Taehyung stops once he’s fully sat on Jungkook’s lap, breathing out.
“Take a moment.” Jungkook whispers, nails slowly creating circles on Taehyung’s thighs to
distract him from the stretch. “Adjust as much as you need, baby.” for a split second, Taehyung is
taken back to his previous partner, to the words that he used to hear. He was never able to enjoy it
but, this time around, it’s a completely new feeling.
Taehyung forces himself to push Hyungsik’s image away, because he has the best person ever
sitting right there, holding his hips, and he can’t let Hyungsik ruin anything anymore. Jungkook
leans closer, the shift making both of their breaths hitch, and hands to grip harder.
“You’re doing great.” Jungkook whispers, starting to prep little kisses on Taehyung’s neck,
collarbones, chest. “So proud of you…” he adds, gently licking over one of the blonde’s nipples as
he gathers the confidence to start moving. The sound of their moans together might just be the
prettiest thing that they’ve heard. “Shit, Tae—” he groans, hand fisting the sheets.
Taehyung’s moving slowly, experimentally, just as they agreed to. As good as it feels, Jungkook
still has urges, and he’s been fantasizing about this moment for months now, so it takes a lot of
focus not to thrust up, to meet Taehyung’s movements halfway.
“H-Hyungie…?” Taehyung moans quietly.
“Yeah, love?” his words sound breathy, his other hand still very much gripping Taehyung’s hip
harshly. Given that Taehyung bruises easily, he’s already expecting to see his fingers marked there
for a day or two — the thought alone makes him smirk.
“Feels good, hyung.” he’s able to rasp out, his movements already at a consistent pace, and leans
closer to kiss Jungkook’s neck. Taehyung’s hands bravely feel around Jungkook’s torso, touching
as much as he desires because that’s his boyfriend, and he can.
Jungkook throws his head back against the headboard with a low moan when Taehyung squeezes
him, accidentally or not, he doesn’t know. The kisses, the touches, the up and down movements
with frequent, unexpected squeezes are so much better than he imagined. Knowing that it’s
Taehyung makes it so much better.
Taehyung can tell that he’s slowly driving Jungkook insane, and he can’t say that he’s not
thoroughly enjoying it. It makes him feel wanted, which only intensifies how good the moment
alone is making him feel — how pleasurable it is. He’s enjoying every second of it.
“Tae— Fuck, baby, I’m going to die if you do that again.” Jungkook warns when Taehyung bites
the sensitive spot under his ear at the same time that he squeezes him again, and Taehyung can see
his knuckles turning white from how hard he’s fisting the sheets. “Can I— Can I lay you down?”
he asks, eyes opening. “Can I make you feel good?”
Taehyung takes a moment to think, because he already feels amazing, but the prospect of it being
even better is too appealing to pass on. “Yeah, you can.” he decides, though aware that he won’t
have any control of it if he’s the one underneath… but he trusts Jungkook. Blindly.
Jungkook is quick to roll them over, finding his place between Taehyung’s parted legs. He holds
himself up with only one arm, as his other hand is used to bend the blonde’s leg and hook it on his
own waist. And Taehyung right: the pace is much different now, it’s not as slow and dragged out,
borderline torturous. It’s faster, and definitely harder.
Each thrust hits something deep in him that only used to hurt in the past, but now makes his eyes
almost roll to the back of his head. His mouth is parted now, eyebrows scrunched up in pleasure.
“You’re so beautiful.” Jungkook praises, letting go of his thigh to intertwine their hands by the
pillow. “You’re so fucking beautiful, and you sound so fucking good.” he says behind his ear, his
thrusts making Taehyung see stars. “So pretty. So, so beautiful. I love you so much.”
Taehyung can hear the raw honesty in his voice, can feel his love in every kiss, and it’s a little too
much. He feels too much. He can tell that Jungkook is holding back, too, and he feels so respected
that his chest almost hurts with how much it holds. He feels respected, loved, praised, cared for.
He feels important, valuable. He feels too much at once, and it’s overwhelming.
He doesn’t notice the first tear, nor the following ones. “Baby?” Jungkook stops his movements
when he hears a little sniff, quickly pulling back from the neck kisses. “Why are you crying?” he
asks, gently thumbing his tears away. “Am I hurting you? I’m so sorry, we can stop, I didn’t—”
“No, no, you’re not hurting me, it feels great, I just— I love you.” Taehyung admits, voice breathy
and floaty, but honest. Jungkook freezes. Taehyung smiles through his tears when he sees the
elder’s eyes welling up, easy tears rolling down his cheeks that he quickly reaches up to wipe
away. “I love you, fuck, hyung, I love you so much.” he repeats, meaning it. He really means it.
“Shit, I almost fucking came.” is the first thing that Jungkook says, and it makes them both laugh
through their tears. Jungkook cups his jaw, holding it in place to meet his lips with his own, a kiss
so passionate that it punches the air out of their lungs. “I love you.” he whispers into his mouth,
their tongues playfully fighting. “Can I make you feel good, baby? Can I?”
“Yeah.” Taehyung breathes out with a nod, closing his eyes again when Jungkook continues his
movements. Faster, sharper. Taehyung sounds louder each time, and Jungkook doesn’t stop until he
hears his name being moaned.
Their hands are intertwined again, they repeat ‘I love you’s like a mantra, and it’s getting harder to
hold back now. Jungkook, edged for far too long, and Taehyung, already having been at the brink
of tipping over once. It doesn’t take more than two, three minutes before Taehyung’s warning him
that he’s close — Jungkook is too, but he holds it. He wants Taehyung to finish first.
“C’mon, love.” Jungkook whispers by his ear, biting his earlobe. “Do you want me to touch—”
“Yes.” Taehyung cries out. “Please.” Jungkook smirks, reaching a hand between their sweaty
bodies to help Taehyung through it. The long whine that follows sounds like music to his ears, and
it only encourages him to speed up his hand, kiss his neck harder.
Taehyung comes with a long whine of his name, back arching off of the bed — the squeezing is
too much for Jungkook to take when he’s so on edge with his emotions all over the place, so he
follows right after with a strangled moan.
His hips move, slower, for a few more seconds, only stopping when he feels Taehyung’s body
relaxing again under his own, and he comes to a steady stop. He slowly pulls out, lying by his
boyfriend’s side to catch his breath.
They’re both sweating, and their chests move rapidly, so he’s confused when he feels the bed dip
as Taehyung sits up. “Where are you going…?” he asks, puzzled.
“Uhm, I don’t— I was going to… clean up…?” Taehyung gestures between them, only to yelp
when a pair of strong arms circles around him to pull him back down. He feels a kiss on the back
of his neck before Jungkook rests back on the pillow.
“You need to catch your breath, my love. After sex, you should rest… even if for a little, just a few
minutes for your body to come down from it, for your breathing to get even.” Jungkook explains.
“I say we cuddle for a little, unless you don’t want to. I won’t make you stay here…”
“Cuddling you sounds absolutely perfect.” Taehyung smiles, allowing his body to relax. He feels
sticky, his stomach wet with his own orgasm, but Jungkook doesn’t seem bothered by it despite
having his arms right over the mess.
“Good, because I physically can’t get up right now.” Jungkook chuckles, kissing his bruised neck
once again. “Just give me a minute to breathe, and I’ll clean us both, alright?”
“You don’t have to clean—”
“Right, because I’ll just leave you sticky and wet.” Taehyung pouts, because he was never cleaned
after; he could either stay like that, or get up and wash himself. “Don’t worry, peach, I got it.” his
arm is immediately swatted for the pet name. “One day I’ll actually taste it…”
“Why are you so shameless, my God.” Taehyung complains as he turns in his hold, facing him
now. “You’re gross, and lack shame.” he says with a teasing smile.
“Wanting to eat you out is not something that I’m ashamed of.” Jungkook shrugs, laughing when
the blonde hides against his chest. “On a serious note, now… I wish that I could run you a bath
with bubbles and all of that cute shit, but, uhm, I don’t have a tub. So, uhm, we have two options
here: you can either let me clean you up with a warm towel, or we can try and see if you can stand
long enough in the shower…”
Taehyung smiles, leaning in to kiss him. The kiss is slow, and they both melt in each other’s arms
once again. “I’d like the second option much better.” he decides. “I want you to shower with me,
hyungie. I want to wash your hair.” he giggles, pulling the hair tie off, and watching as his black,
sweaty hair falls down. It only reaches the apples of his cheeks, but it’s the longest that he’s ever
had it and, if Taehyung didn’t like it so much, he would’ve cut it already.
“You want to wash my hair?” Taehyung nods, laughing when Jungkook attacks him with little
kisses on his neck, that only do as much as tickling him. “Come here.” he says then, but picks him
up before Taehyung can even sit up. Jungkook carries him all the way to the bathroom.
Jungkook starts off by gently washing every inch of Taehyung’s body with the luffa, carefully
dragging it over the smooth skin. While rinsing off, he uses his hands to remove every trace of
foam, kissing his shoulders and neck whenever he sees fitting — taking his sweet time.
Taehyung then grabs the shampoo bottle, squirting some onto his palm. “Close your eyes,
hyungie.” Jungkook complies, allowing Taehyung to do his thing. Taehyung’s fingers slowly
massage his scalp while scrubbing it, and it feels too good. He’s surprised by a loud smooch on his
lips that makes him open his eyes, only to groan in pain as the shampoo runs into his eyes.
“God—” Jungkook covers them up, taking a step back to be exactly under the running water to get
the shampoo out. Taehyung laughs, trying — and failing — to help. “Why are you trying to blind
me?!”
Taehyung wheezes. “I’m not! You were the one willingly opening your eyes… and I told you to
close them, did I not? I did!”
“You were the one kissing me!” he argues.
“Well, it’s your fault for looking like that.” Taehyung still defends, reaching for the nearest towel
to wipe Jungkook’s eyes. “You looked too kissable not to get a kiss immediately…”
“I look kissable all the fucking time, actually.” Jungkook frowns. Taehyung simply hums, because
he agrees. “I’m adding a new rule to this relationship. Kissing is absolutely forbidden while
shampoo is on. That, and no kissing after waking up: the two rules in this relationship.” he says as
he blinks, slowly and carefully, checking whether he can open his eyes.
“I’d like to add another one: not talking about my butt.” Taehyung tries, only to get said part of his
body lightly slapped by Jungkook’s hand. “Hey—!”
“In case it wasn’t clear, your rule hasn’t been approved.” Jungkook smiles.
Taehyung groans. “You’re awful.”
│►
“Tae?” Jungkook calls, fingers going up and down Taehyung’s naked arm, and the younger man
looks up from where he’s lying on his boyfriend’s chest. “Can I ask you a question? You can
choose not to answer it, and I’ll never ask you again, but I feel like this is something that I should
know… Should, to some extent. You’re not obligated to tell me.” he assures.
“What is it, hyung?” Taehyung tilts his head.
“How was it with Hyungsik? Sex, I mean.” the blonde can’t say that he was expecting such
question. “I just want to understand it to the full extent, and I know that you’ve never opened up
about it, so I also want you to— I don’t know, get that out of your chest.” Jungkook elaborates.
“I’m asking now, because we were able to take this step…”
“He just… wasn’t what you are.” Jungkook blinks down at him. Taehyung sighs. “He never asked
me if I was enjoying it, which I never did… not even in the beginning, as one would think. He
never really kissed me, never asked me if I was ok… It just— It never was a mutual interest. I
don’t think that I was ever actually, uhm, aroused, and he could see it. It was just so freaking bad,
it never felt like anything. But, you know, he was my first, so I thought that it was either something
wrong with me, or that sex was just— it.” he explains.
Jungkook scowls; he can’t believe that someone could have Taehyung and not treat him like the
most precious being ever. “Was it consensual, at least?” the silence that follows the question
makes his stomach drop. “Tae…?” he insists.
“Sometimes.”
“What?!”
“Sometimes I’d be sleeping, or— or he’d be mad at me, and say that I just had to, you know, take
it, I guess. At the time, I thought that it was ok, but now… after you, I can—” Taehyung sighs,
almost embarrassed. “I can see clearly now, and that wasn’t ok. I didn’t have to take anything if I
didn’t want to, and things aren’t meant to be that way.” he acknowledges, fingers drawing random
patterns on Jungkook’s naked stomach.
“You don’t even have to worry about it now, Tae. I’d never, ever, do anything like that to you,
which I’m sure that you know. He’s such a sick motherfucker, and I’d never— Fucking hell, this
makes me so fucking mad. I want to punch him so fucking badly on his stupid-ass nose, just like
Hoseok did, and break it again.” Jungkook stresses. “Tae, I fucking promise you with my life, I’ll
never do anything like that. I’ll never treat you with anything but respect.”
“I know. I know, hyung.” Taehyung sniffs, only then becoming aware of his own tears. “I just hate
him so much. So much. It’s hard, and embarrassing, to talk about this, because how the heck could
I not see what was happening?!” he cries. “If it wasn’t for you, I would’ve married him, and I hate
that. I hate him. I hate him so much.” Jungkook pulls him closer, kissing the top of his head
reassuringly. “I’m sorry for crying, this is just hard to talk about…”
“It’s ok, my love. Cry as much as you need. I understand what’s like having to do sexual things
when we don’t want to, so I understand how fucking awful it must’ve been with Hyungsik. I assure
you that you’ll never have to worry about feeling it again, because you never will with me.”
Jungkook promises, rocking him in his arms.
“What do you mean…?” Taehyung can tell by the way that Jungkook’s movements stop altogether
that he didn’t register his own words. “Hyung?” he looks up. “What’s that about?”
“Uh— It’s a lot, we shouldn’t talk about it right now, it’d ruin the moment.” Jungkook tries.
“You wouldn’t ruin anything, hyung. We don’t have to talk about it right now if you don’t want to,
but don’t think that you’d be ruining anything if we did.” Taehyung assures, watching as his
boyfriend takes a deep breath in before looking away to the ceiling; thinking.
“So, I told you about my life up until the time that I left my uncle’s house…” Taehyung nods,
confirming it. “I had no money, I just packed some clothes and, I don’t even remember, I think that
I took about fifty bucks; my charger, and some other shit, and never looked back. I had nowhere to
stay, so I had to get by on the streets and… there aren’t many ways that you can get money on the
streets.” he chuckles, humorless. “I tried singing for a few days and, yeah, I could get enough to get
some food through the day, which is all that I needed at the time.”
Taehyung just stares at him, listening carefully.
“Then, one night, another homeless dude offered me his booze because he took pity on me for
being so young and on the streets. That’s how I found out that alcohol kept my nightmares away,
and alcohol also meant no hunger, and it was just fucking easier to be drunk instead of being able
to think, you know? That’s how it became a necessity.” Jungkook sighs. “The money that I made
by singing stopped covering the amount of alcohol that I was consuming daily… And I ended up
going to prison for it, as you know. When I came back, I had nothing. Not a cent.”
“Hyung…” he whispers, cupping his cheek.
Jungkook places his own hand over Taehyung’s, chuckling again. “You say that I’m really
shameless and open when it comes to sex, but there’s a bigger reason behind that. I’ve always been
like that, in a way, but I lost any ounce of shame that I could have when I started taking my clothes
off at a club.” he reveals. “It was a cheap-ass place, filled with perverts, and I didn’t get paid well,
but it was better.” Taehyung gapes. “I don’t remember much from that time, I was fucked out of
my mind for most of it, so I don’t remember how that evolved into me sucking dicks in alleys, but
that fucking happened, and that’s how I saved money for this apartment. By sucking random dudes
off for money.”
Taehyung scoots closer, kissing his cheek, his shoulder and, lastly, his chest. “You’re so freaking
strong, hyung. You’re really strong for enduring everything that you’ve gone through…”
“I’m not. I shouldn’t have done it, there were other ways, most likely… but I was so fucking
desperate and— hungry.” Jungkook finally meets his eyes, and they look remorseful, embarrassed.
“Sometimes they wouldn’t pay me… I got beat up a handful of times after the deed was done, too,
so that they could just run off. I remember a few trying to take shit to other levels, so I was lucky
that I was strong, otherwise—” he stops, sighs. “It doesn’t matter.”
“It does matter.” Taehyung reassures.
“It won’t change a thing.” Jungkook shakes his head.
“It doesn’t change what happened, but talking about things helps us dealing with them.” Taehyung
whispers, thumbing Jungkook’s cheek. “You don’t have to tell me, but I’ll gladly listen to you, you
know it. I want to know about you, hyung. Everything. The pretty, the ugly. All of it.”
“There isn’t much to add. I got Moon while I was still living in the street, I took care of her more
than myself… with just a blanket and cheap dog food. Then, I managed to get the apartment, as I
said. I still kept the same routine for a while, stripping and sucking men off until I got my job at
the gas station. I met Yoongi at a bar, and we clicked instantly, so we became friends, and he
introduced me to Jin.” he explains, free hand gesturing. “I started getting enough money to get by
without having to do gross shit, so I quit that. Then, yeah, I lived like that for a while until you
appeared and life just… made a turn for the better.”
Taehyung smiles. “Thank you for telling me. Thank you for trusting me with this. You’re so
strong, and so amazing. You’re incredible. I’m so proud of you, for getting through every challenge
that life threw at you, and still keeping yourself grounded. You still managed to grow and mature
into the kindest person, and it’s admirable. You’re freaking amazing.”
Jungkook looks down at him, breathing out a relieved sigh. “I’ve never told anyone these things.
You know… basically everything that I’ve gone through, which is fucking crazy. I never thought
that I’d be able to open up about this shit. There’s nothing else to unfold.”
“Thank you for trusting me with it.”
“No, thank you for making me comfortable enough to open up about this.”
“No, thank you—”
│►
“I’m hungry, I want ice cream.” Taehyung says, looking up at the older man, whose eyes are
closed. “Hyung…!” he calls, poking his stomach multiple times. “Ice cream.”
“We don’t have any ice cream, you finished it the other day.” Jungkook opens one and one eye
only, looking at him. “I didn’t buy more… Did you?”
“Nope… But I really want ice cream right now. Let’s go get some.” Taehyung sits up, tugging on
the hem of Jungkook’s sweatpants. “C’mon…!” he insists, whining. “Get up.”
Jungkook reaches for his phone, checking the time. “Tae, it’s almost three in the morning, we have
work tomorrow.” he tries to rationalize, but Taehyung pouts — a weapon too strong for him to
fight against. “I’m up, okay, I’m up.” he says, sitting. “Where are we getting ice cream?”
“There’s that grocery store down the street that is open the whole night.” Taehyung smiles,
standing up from the bed. “We can go there.”
Jungkook groans as he stretches his arms, some of his bones cracking; he was a second away from
falling asleep. “Alright, let’s go.” he gets up to find a hoodie. Taehyung is already rummaging
through Jungkook’s side of the wardrobe, set on finding a black hoodie for himself to wear. He’d
much rather wear a used one, they smell like his boyfriend, but Jungkook wore a tee shirt that day,
and it’s too cold for that. “Hm, now I see why my hoodies are always in the laundry basket even
when I don’t remember using them.”
“You know that I don’t own hoodies…” Taehyung giggles, putting it on. “They’re comfy.”
“They look better on you, anyway.” Jungkook kisses his forehead. They keep the sweatpants that
they were wearing to bed, only put on some shoes before heading out, hands linked. Taehyung
makes sure to put a spoon in his pocket beforehand.
The walk to the shop is short, the streets are empty.
“What ice cream do you want?” Jungkook asks, looking down at the freezer.
“You know me.”
“Strawberry?” Taehyung merely nods. “Alright…” Jungkook gets the tub of strawberry flavored
ice cream, before closing the freezer again. “Do you want anything else, love?” he asks.
“We should take some hair dye.” the blonde says, hands in the front pocket of the hoodie, leading
the way to the right isle. “Your hair is getting brown again, we should touch it up.”
“Oh, you’ll dye it for me?” Taehyung only nods with a smile, and Jungkook can’t resist kissing his
cheek; just because. “Having a boyfriend has so many perks, I’m impressed.” he teases, grabbing
the same box that he always gets: the darkest black that there is. “Damn, look at that one.” he
cackles, pointing to a box of neon green hair dye.
“You should change to that one.” Taehyung giggles.
“And look like a highlighter?” that gets the younger to laugh, a little too loud in the quiet grocery
store, which makes Jungkook laugh, too. Taehyung being happy makes him happy. “You’d look
hot as fuck with this one.” he gestures to a bright red. “I’m imagining it, my mouth is watering.”
“Stop it, you perv.” Taehyung tsks, nudging him with his elbow; he’s sure that the girl at the
counter can hear it, and it makes him blush. “Besides, I can’t dye my hair any crazy colors with my
profession… I have to look a certain way for them.”
“Blonde is your color, either way.” Jungkook praises. “Let’s go pay, baby.” and they do, having a
brief fight over who gets to slide their card in the machine. Jungkook doesn’t let him, marking his
own code before Taehyung has the chance to even open his wallet.
“Have a good night.” they both wish, leaving with the tub of ice cream in hand, and the box of hair
dye inside Jungkook’s pocket. He throws his hood over his head, linking their hands again as they
leave. “You didn’t have to pay for my ice cream, hyung.”
“Hm, but I wanted to.” Jungkook shrugs. “Shall we sit at this park, or head home?”
“We should sit somewhere under the stars, yeah.”
“It’s going to be a bitch to wake up tomorrow.” he predicts, and Taehyung giggles, aware that he’s
more than right. “Come here.” he pats the grass, and Taehyung plops himself right by his side.
“How are you feeling?” he asks, arm loosely around the blonde’s shoulders.
“I feel great.” Taehyung smiles. “I’m still a little floaty… I feel good. What about you?” he turns
the question around, nuzzling his nose against Jungkook’s sharp jaw before kissing it twice.
“I feel amazing, too.” Jungkook parts his mouth to accept the offered spoon of ice cream, and the
younger quickly stuffs his own, as well. “I’m glad to know that you enjoyed it.”
“I did… and, uhm, I’m relieved to hear that you’re not disappointed.” Taehyung admits, and the
elder makes a low, confused noise. “You know. You’re really experienced… I was afraid that
you’d find it boring, or something. I don’t know. I’m just— I hope that it wasn’t boring for you.”
“Tae, having what people consider vanilla sex with you was so much better than any of the crazy,
kinky sex that I’ve had before. It’s different when we like the other person, and I’m fucking in love
with everything about you. I felt you everywhere, I was floaty, my head was all over the place, it
was a different experience, and it was really good. It was great, and it was you.”
Taehyung smiles, scooting even closer. “I love you…” he whispers.
Jungkook tsks. “You’re so silly, baby. I love you, too.” he assures. “Besides… I’ll slowly ease you
into crazier things, worry not. It’ll never be boring, but it can be fun every now and then.” he
smirks, kissing his temple. “Hm, I’ll have so much fun with you.”
“Right—!” Taehyung stuffs his mouth with more ice cream before Jungkook can start listing his
fantasies. “Let’s talk about serious things… How did everything with Eunjae go?” he asks.
“I put her in her place. I’m twenty-eight, she’s nineteen, so she has to have some respect for me, at
the very least. We’re not on speaking terms right now.” Jungkook sighs. “I really like her, I’ve
always treated her as though she was a little sister, but what she said was not acceptable, and she’s
not even mature enough to apologize or understand what she did wrong.”
“I’m sure that you did the right thing. I know how much you two like each other, but if you
decided to do this, then it’s because it was the right thing to do. I know you.” Taehyung feeds him
another spoonful. “I do hope, however, that you two figure it out, and just talk it out…”
“I don’t know if I want to.”
“That’s okay, too.”
│►
Chapter End Notes

Let's discuss...
◄│ 66 │►
Chapter Notes
Taehyung’s eyes start blinking slowly, trying to focus with the poor lighting in the room. The first
thing that he sees once his eyes adjust enough, is Jungkook, looking down at him with an endeared
smile, hovering over him.
“Morning, beautiful.” Jungkook whispers, smile widening.
“Good morning, hyung.” Taehyung whispers back, humming — almost purring — at the thumb
that he feels caressing his cheek. His eyes close again, his body too drained to keep them open.
“Are you tired?” Jungkook asks, and he can only give a weak nod. They got back home around five
in the morning, so they’ve only slept for two hours, and it’s not something that they’re used to. “Me
too… but it was worth it.” he leans down, kissing his forehead once, twice.
“It really was.” the blonde agrees. “I’d even say that it was the best night of my life…”
“And I couldn’t agree more…” Jungkook whispers against his lips, lightly pecking them. “You
know, I woke up thinking about how you said that you love me, and I couldn’t fall asleep again,
even though I’m fucking exhausted from yesterday… I was just watching you sleep now.”
“And I do love you.” Taehyung smiles, sleepy.
“Holy, my heart skipped a whole fucking beat, I’m not kidding.” Jungkook lets out an airy laugh,
resting their foreheads together. “I love you, too.” he says again. “So much.”
“That sounds amazing… I love hearing it.” the blonde admits, his hands resting on Jungkook’s
sides. “I love hearing you say that you love me, hyung.”
“I love saying it, so I guess that I’ll just keep saying it.” he whispers as his finger traces
Taehyung’s lips, only to pull the bottom one down; he watches as it wobbles back into place. “I’m
so sleepy, I can’t believe that you kept me awake for fucking ice cream, of all things.”
Taehyung giggles. “Are you trying to say that you didn’t enjoy my hand in your pants at the park?”
he asks, and Jungkook’s eyebrows curve up in surprise, not expecting such a remark from his
usually shy boyfriend. Taehyung’s eyes open. “Oh, my. Did I just say that—?!”
“You did, indeed.” Jungkook nods, chuckling at the way that the other blushes, and covers his face
with his hands. “You can be quite shameless when you’re sleepy… huh?”
“Apparently so.” Taehyung shrugs. “I’m hungry… we should go prepare some breakfast before
you have to leave for work.” he rationalizes, rubbing his eyes. Jungkook always leaves first, so he
doesn’t have to get up already, but he enjoys having breakfast together.
“Don’t try to distract me from what you said.” Jungkook smirks. “I did enjoy your hand in my
pants, very much.” he places his palm flat against Taehyung’s mouth, stopping him from saying
anything. “What I enjoyed the most was how randomly you did it… Weren’t we just cuddling,
love? Hm? And, suddenly you’re slipping your hand inside my pants…” he whispers behind his
ear. “All brave. Kissing my neck and all.”
Taehyung covers his ears. “Shut up…!” he whines against Jungkook’s hand, which makes his
boyfriend laugh and pull the hand away. “I felt confident, and I wanted to give you something back
because of the morning incident… It felt— It felt like the right thing to do then.”
“Oh, trust me, I’m really not complaining.” Jungkook smiles, kissing his cheek. “Let’s go get some
breakfast now, I’m hungry as hell.” he sits up. “I’ve been awake for, like, thirty minutes now, but I
was just watching you sleep like a creep. You look beautiful while sleeping.”
“Thanks… And it’s not creepy, it’s cute!” Jungkook raises an eyebrow. “Okay, it’s kind of creepy,
but it’s cute coming from you.” he sits up, too, yawning. “Let’s go eat, before I fall back to sleep
again.” they both stand, stretching their bodies. Jungkook walks ahead, opening the door for
Taehyung to walk through. “Shall we make panca—”
“Oh.” Jungkook lets out, followed by a chuckle, watching him with amused eyes.
“What?” Taehyung looks back. “What’s wrong?”
“You have a limp.” he points out. “I was so gentle… How come you have a limp?”
“Don’t get so cocky, I hadn’t done anything in a long time.” Taehyung mumbles, resuming his
walk to the kitchen. “I can’t believe that you’re chuckling at this, you’re horrible.”
Jungkook cackles, jogging to catch up to him and wrap his arms around his torso. “I’m not making
fun of you, my love.” he assures. “You’re so fucking sexy, with your cute limp and these hickeys
all over your neck… Hm…” Jungkook breathes in Taehyung’s scent, closing his eyes. “I’d be a
huge liar if I said that it doesn’t turn me on to see the marks that I leave on you, so your limp is
very sexy to me.” he chuckles by his ear. “So sexy.”
“One, you’re gross. Two, I do not care about how much anything turns you on right now, I’m too
sleepy to even think about doing anything.” Jungkook raises an eyebrow, petting his dog’s head
when she walks up to them. “Third, and most important: I can’t go to work with hickeys all over
my neck… I’m going to have to cover them all up.” he tries to sound angry, but fails.
“Wasn’t it worth it, though?” Jungkook kisses his neck, right above the marks, and smiles when his
boyfriend agrees. “I loved last night, by the way. Thank you for trusting me. It made me feel
incredible, knowing that you trust me like that… with your body, your emotions, because I trust
you, too.” he whispers by his ear, and Taehyung turns around in his arms. “I-I hope that it didn’t
come out wrong, I’m not thanking you for the sex itself, as good as it was, I’m thanking you for
trusting me enough for it to happen. Do you know what I mean…? I swear that I’m not—”
“Baby.” Taehyung interrupts, cupping his cheeks with a smile. “I get it, don’t worry. I trust you
with everything, hyung. I trust you as I’ve never trusted anyone before. You’re the smartest, most
understanding and mature person that I’ve ever known, and I trust you with everything in me. I’m
really thankful for the trust that you put in me when you shared about your past, and I promise you
that your story is safe with me.” he whispers the last words, kissing the bridge of his boyfriend’s
nose. “Knowing everything about you makes me feel so… full. I love you, hyung, and after last
night, I don’t have a single doubt that you’re the one for me. Not that I had any, but it was simply
further proved to me. I love you.”
“Stop, I’ll cry. I wanted to reassure you; I wasn’t expecting you to say anything back. I’m not
emotionally built for this, baby, I’m fragile.” Taehyung laughs, the sound bubbly but calming,
before stepping closer to hug him. Jungkook hugs him back just as tight. They can feel each other’s
love, support. Respect. “I’d give you the fucking moon if I could, Tae.” he whispers.
Taehyung smiles, closing his eyes. “You already give me everything that I could ever wish for.”
“I want to marry you one day.” Jungkook says against the crook of his neck. “I know that it’s way
too fucking soon to even bring this word up, and I hope that you won’t run away because some
lunatic is talking about marrying you after dating you for two weeks, but I do want to be with you
until we’re fucking old, and I’m not embarrassed by that.”
Taehyung can feel the immediate sting in his eyes. He never thought, never even dreamt of finding
someone who feels like this about him. Jungkook’s unbelievable. “I’ll be a lunatic, too, and tell
you that I don’t want it any other way.” he pulls back, and he’s quite relieved when he sees that
he’s not the only one tearing up; it’s less embarrassing. “I hope that we get married.”
“Well, in that case…” Jungkook breaks the hug, getting down on one knee.
“Babe—” Taehyung quickly reaches for him, confused, eyes wide.
Jungkook laughs. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” he says as he stands back up.
“You’re such an idiot, I swear—”
│►
Jungkook opens the front door of the coffee shop with a sigh already dying on his lips, and it’s so
silent inside that it feels almost suffocating. On a usual day, Eunjae would be playing music on her
phone while the café is still closed, would be greeting him with a smile, wiping tables.
Not today. No, today she’s leaning against the counter as she, very slowly, cleans it with a wet rag;
her movements robotic. “Good morning.” she greets, tentatively, a tiny smile stretching on her lips.
Jungkook merely sighs, walking to their changing room without saying a word. It’s extremely rude
of him, he knows, but he can’t make himself talk to her again.
Eunjae looks down, not hesitating before grabbing her phone and dialing Taehyung’s number. It
only rings twice, which comes as a surprise; she didn’t think that he’d pick up. “Hey?” Taehyung
calls, confused. “What’s wrong, Jae?” he asks.
“H-He doesn’t talk to me. I said good morning, and he barely even looked at me…” she informs,
trying to be quiet, and only hears a sigh from the other side. “D-Don’t hang up on me…”
“I won’t.” Taehyung assures. “You know, I found him midway through a panic attack when I got
home that day. He was panicking, crying so hard that it pained me to hear. He looked broken.”
Eunjae gulps. “Are you mad at me, too?” she whispers.
Taehyung takes a moment. “I’m not mad, Jae. I care a lot about you, but I can’t and won’t be ok
with what you’ve done to him by saying those awful things. You blamed him for being assaulted
by someone, and that’s simply not acceptable.” he speaks, and she can hear some rusting in the
back, which makes her feel worse; she must be interrupting something. “I have no idea of why you
said those things to him, but I sense that there’s a reason behind it that you haven’t told him
about…” he sighs. “I really don’t understand why you’d do that when he was clearly distressed and
looking for comfort in a friend… You can’t be surprised that he’s mad at you.”
“Look, you— you’re right. I do have a reason as to why I acted like a bitch…”
“It still doesn’t excuse your behavior, Jae. I understand that sometimes emotions get the best of us,
and that leads to a poor reaction, but our freedom ends when it starts evading someone else’s. You
can’t use your problems as an excuse for mistreating someone.” Taehyung scolds, though his voice
remains calm. “Look, I’ll talk to him, okay? I can’t promise you anything, because when he’s hurt
by someone like that, he closes off, and it’s hard to get him back. I’m speaking from experience…”
her eyes lighten up. “I’ll try to get to him, but, Jae, don’t even think about lashing out at him for
being angry, because he has all the reasons to be.” he adds. “Have a good shift, and call me if you
need to, but I have to get going. I have to get ready to leave.”
“Okay… Thank you so much, Tae. Have a good day…” Eunjae whispers, ending the call without
waiting for an answer. She puts the phone down, leaning back against the counter. The first tear is
quick to roll down her cheek, and the others waste no time before following just as fast.
Everything is a mess: family, life itself, friends. She had one source of grounding support, and that
was Jungkook, and now that’s just as gone as everything else that was good in her life. What makes
it even worse is knowing that it’s her fault, and her fault alone.
Jungkook finishes tucking his shirt inside of his jeans, leaving the break room. He halts once he
hears the quiet sobs and sniffs, and he’s left sighing, unsure of whether to walk up to his coworker
or not. He’s torn between simply doing what he has to do — his job — and putting the fight aside
for a minute or two, and ask her if she’s ok.
He can’t decide what to do, so he just walks closer to squeeze her shoulder to show some support,
but walks away right after. Eunjae looks up at him, sniffs. “You won’t ask anything?”
“Would there be a point in doing that?” he asks, tired.
“Kook, I didn’t know that my words make you— I didn’t—”
“Make me what? Have a panic attack? Blame myself? Hate myself, believing that I had ruined
something as beautiful as what Tae and I have?” Jungkook accuses, taking a step closer. “Eunjae, I
told you what happened because you were my friend, and because I genuinely saw you as a little
sister. I was looking for your support, and you gave me the exact fucking opposite.” the young girl
looks down. “You might be sorry, but that doesn’t change what you said, or the way that I felt
because of it. It doesn’t change that I can’t trust you now, or that I’m really hurt.”
“I get it. I get it, I messed up.” Eunjae steps closer. “I’m really sorry, why don’t— Why can’t you
freaking talk to me? I’ve apologized.” she stresses, unsure of how to word herself.
“You really are nineteen.” Jungkook chuckles at the end, shaking his head. “If you think that our
friendship was that shallow that a simple ‘sorry’ will cut it and we’ll go back to what we were,
then maybe we shouldn’t have been friends, to begin with.” he says as he walks up to the door to
open it, already in time for their shift to start.
“Are you serious? I looked after you every time that you had a breakdown, and never—”
“I can’t believe that you’re seriously throwing that at my face right now.” he turns back to her, the
look on his face so defeated and betrayed that she feels as though she’s been punched to the gut.
“Why would you fucking do that now, too?”
“I’m not doing that! I’m not throwing anything at your face, I’m just saying that we were friends,
and our friendship can’t suddenly be invalidated just because we had a fight… as bad as it was, it
doesn’t matter. We were there for each other through many lows, we are friends. Y-You’re, like,
my fucking best friend, Jungkook.” Eunjae throws her hands in the air, exasperated. “You’re being
really unfair. It was just a freaking fight.”
“You need to grow up, Jae. I’ve been through and over this immature phase a long time ago and,
apparently, I can’t and don’t want to deal with it again. Your actions and words can have a real
shitty outcome in someone’s life, and it did for me. Besides, it doesn’t sound like you fully
comprehend what you did. Unless you take responsibility for your actions and fucking apologize
and you truly mean it, I’m not going to talk to you. Go do your job, and stop bothering me.”
Eunjae sniffs, hurt. “Fine. Ok.”
Jungkook nods. “Thank you.”
│►
Eunjae looks up when she hears the sound of footsteps coming closer, announcing a new customer
approaching the counter. “Oh.” she lets out, surprised. “Hey, Tae.”
“Hey.” he gives her a weak smile. “Could you get me an expresso? A full one, please.” Eunjae just
nods, turning to the coffee machine without saying anything. She’s not in the mood for a
conversation, and she’s still embarrassed after their call.
Jungkook tilts his head, surprised to see him. He puts down the used plates that he’s gathered from
the tables before walking up to his boyfriend. “What are you doing here, love?” he asks.
“I’m here to see you.” Taehyung smiles. “Are you busy, or can you sit down for a second?” he
asks, lightly tugging on Jungkook’s apron, and the elder looks around. Every customer has already
been served, so he doesn’t see why not — he takes the coffee from Eunjae’s hands.
“Yes, baby, let’s sit down.” he gestures, and Eunjae sighs, watching them sit down at an available
table, facing each other. “Something tells me that you’re not here to see my handsome face.”
Taehyung takes a moment. “Did you guys talk?” he asks, and he can practically see Jungkook’s
mood shifting. Jungkook already knew that the conversation would take that route, but it doesn’t
mean that he wanted it to. “I’m only asking because she called me earlier, and I promised to talk to
you…” he shares.
“I know that she called you. The walls are thin.” Jungkook looks down at the table, reaching for
his boyfriend’s hands to fiddle with his fingers. “I heard her say your name, so I knew…”
“She messed up, but she loves you a lot, and she’s— she’s just a kid.”
Jungkook meets his eyes, frowning. “You’re just trying to get me to forgive her because her call
made you feel bad and empathetic for her. I know you like the palm of my hand, Tae.”
“I don’t feel bad for her, but I do feel sympathetic. I know how much you two love each other and,
in order to fix this, the two of you have to show some effort, and talk it out.” Taehyung explains,
tentative. He doesn’t really know how to navigate it. “To understand each other.”
“What’s there to understand from her side? She said what she was thinking, and what she was
thinking was fucking horrible. She’s just facing the consequences of what she did.”
“You’re such an understanding person, you c—”
“Did she try to understand me?!” Jungkook pulls back, eyebrows knitted together, but his voice
doesn’t raise in the slightest. “Why are you taking her side when you saw what the ideas that she
put in my head did to me? You saw the state that she left me in.” he argues. “Stop defending her
when she made me fucking spiral in that way.”
Taehyung is silent for a few seconds, before nodding. “You’re right” he reaches for Jungkook’s
hand again, intertwining their fingers. “It’s not my business, so I shouldn’t even be meddling with
this. It’s a problem between you two, and I’m sorry for coming off as though I’m taking her side,
because I’m really not. I’m always on your side, hyung. I apologize.”
“But that’s not—” Jungkook pauses, rubbing his temple with his free hand. “I’m not telling you not
to get involved, you’re my boyfriend, so your input is always welcome… It’s just that I already had
her twisting my words against me, I don’t want to think that you’re doing the same.”
“Baby, I will never ever tell you something in order to twist your perspective. I’m just trying to
help you find a solution to a problem that is clearly bothering you, even if you try to act like it’s
not… I know that you see her as a little sister, and I know that you’re hurting. She’s obviously
hurting a lot, too.” he gestures to the counter, and they both turn to see Eunjae leaning against it
with her focus on the nearest wall; she sniffs. “Look, she made a mistake, a big one, but, who
knows, maybe she had some sort of reason behind it…? I’m not telling you to forgive her or to
become friends again, because that’s a decision that only you get to make, but you two had a really
beautiful and pure friendship, and it’s sad to see it end like this.”
Jungkook chews on the inside of his cheek, but he remains quiet. Taehyung gets up. “Where are
you going?” he asks, lips pulled together in a small pout.
“I have to go to work.” Taehyung bends down to kiss his forehead. “Do whatever it is that you
believe to be right, and what you think is right. Your judgment is amazing, and I know that you’ll
do what’s best for you.” he smiles, reassuring. “Call me if you need anything, and good luck with
your classes later today, okay?”
“Thank you for coming, and for sharing your words of wisdom… I’ll think about them.” Jungkook
looks up at him, his hand resting on the back of Taehyung’s thigh. “Give me a kiss, will you?”
“Can I?” Taehyung looks around at the customers. “Is it ok to kiss you here…?”
“Who the fuck cares… Just kiss me.” Jungkook puckers his lips, and his boyfriend giggles before
kissing him. It’s a short kiss, but it always makes them blush. “Now, yes, you’re good to go. Have
a good day at work, baby.” he closes his eyes as Taehyung ruffles his freshly dyed hair afore
heading out of the coffee shop, the bell above the door dinging.
Jungkook sighs, looking down at the table. Taehyung left the coffee completely untouched, didn’t
even add sugar to it, so he takes it for himself, downing it all in one go. Seeing his boyfriend did
make him feel better, and his mood isn’t as down as it was when he got there.
Still, he doesn’t manage to even properly look at his coworker for the rest of the shift. In a way, he
believes that he’s disappointing Taehyung for not talking things out, but he can’t make himself do
it. Not now, and he doesn’t know if ever.
He’s always been extremely closed off, and Eunjae ruined the trust that he had on her, so he
doesn’t think that he’ll ever be as open with her ever again. Or at all.
│►
“Hello, my people.” Jungkook greets with a large smile that promptly falls when he doesn’t receive
the usual greeting that he’s so familiar with. “Why isn’t Moon coming to see me?” he asks with a
betrayed frown, and Taehyung shrugs from where he’s sitting on the couch with a book in his
hands. “Is she sulking? Did Simba attack her again?”
“No, no. I just gave her food, so I’m sure that she’ll come around once she finishes.” Taehyung
explains, gladly accepting the kiss that he receives as soon as Jungkook sits down. “How were your
classes, baby?” he asks, focus now solely on him.
“They were good. I learned quite a lot today.” Jungkook smiles, caressing the other’s cheek. “I’ll
work on my homework now, if that’s okay with you. I’ll give you all of my attention once I
finish.”
“Oh, don’t worry, I’ll live.” the blonde teases, and Jungkook shows him his tongue. “I’ll continue
reading while you’re at it, good luck with those.” he gestures with the book, quickly losing himself
in the story again while his boyfriend settles on the table.
They’re both silent for a while, the room only filled with the occasional sounds of Jungkook
tapping the keys of his calculator, and Taehyung flipping the pages. Moon ends up joining her
owner, lying right by Jungkook’s chair with her chin prompted on his foot.
Taehyung closes his book after about an hour, and lays down on the couch with his head on a
fluffy pillow. His eyes trail back to his boyfriend, and he smiles at how focused he looks, using his
fingers to count something while his other hand continues to scribble down the answers.
He bites down on his bottom lip, his brain betraying him back to an idea that has been flooding his
thoughts for a few days already, and he decides that there’s no better time than now. He decides
then to just go for it. “Hyungie?” he calls.
“Yeah?” Jungkook answers without looking up.
“When… When can I meet your family?” that does get the elder to look up at him, positively
confused. Taehyung tries not to take it back right away, a little nervous. He knows that there’s no
reason to be nervous when it comes to Jungkook, but family is such a sensitive topic that he
doesn’t even know what reaction to expect.
“Uh— What do you mean?” he puts his pencil down, tilting his head. “What—?”
“I’d love to meet them. Especially your mom.”
Taehyung watches as confusion fills the other’s eyes, and Jungkook looks around the room as if
searching for the right words to express what he’s thinking. “Tae, love, I don’t know if you’re
forgetting just a tiny little detail about my life, but my mom’s dead, and so is my sister.” he says,
bluntly. “You can’t meet them. They’re not here anymore.”
“You’ve never been to the cemetery, you’ve said so yourself, and I know that you’ll never go there
by yourself… Not only do I want to support you through that, I also want to meet them, those who
mean so much to you.” Taehyung properly explains, careful with his words. He knows that the
family topic will, most likely, always be a sensitive one, and he doesn’t want to cross a line that
may upset his boyfriend. “I would love to accompany you to the cemetery, that is.”
“Are you sure that you want to go there with me?” Jungkook’s voice comes out lower, serious.
“Yes, I’m positive. I’d be honored to meet your mom, and your sister.” Taehyung gets up, walking
closer to the elder; he smiles when Jungkook immediately drags his chair back to make space for
Taehyung to sit on his lap. “I’d love to talk to them, and it would relax me a lot if you did the same
after so many years. I know that it would feel amazing to you.” he whispers.
Jungkook looks up at him, taking his time to think it through, all the while enjoying as Taehyung
threads his fingers through his hair, playing with it. “Okay.” he decides, nodding. “We can make
that happen one of these days.”
Taehyung smiles. “Okay.” he leans in for a short kiss. “I’ll look forward to it.”
│►
Said and done. It’s precisely three days later that they find themselves in front of the cemetery,
their hands linked, and Jungkook silently staring at the gate. “We don’t have to go if that’s not
what you wish to do, hyung.” Taehyung reassures, turning to face him.
“No, I do, I just— I’m nervous to do this.” Jungkook looks down with a sigh, fixing his sunglasses
with his free hand. Taehyung guesses that he’s wearing them so that they’ll hide his tears in case
he breaks down, because he knows how much Jungkook hates showing his emotions in front of
other people, and the cemetery isn’t empty.
Taehyung leans closer, kissing his cheek. “I’m right here by your side. Whenever you’re ready to
go, we’ll go.” Jungkook nods, facing the front again; Taehyung hugs his arm, resting his head on
his boyfriend’s shoulder as he waits. “You can take your time. We have time.”
“No, let’s just go, or I’ll fucking chicken out.” Jungkook decides, inhaling sharply. “I don’t even
know if I still remember where they’re buried… We may have to look for it.”
“And we will.” Taehyung smiles, kissing his shoulder through the shirt. “Shall we go?” Jungkook
nods, giving Taehyung’s hand a light squeeze before he starts walking, leading the way. It’s as he
feared: he doesn’t remember the exact spot, and it looks very different from his vague memories of
those days, so they do have to silently look for their names.
Taehyung is the one to spot the sister’s name, and he tugs on Jungkook’s hand for him to come to a
stop. There are two tombstones right next to one another, not separated like the rest, so he
concludes that that’s the mother’s name — he never had the courage to ask.
Each tombstone has a small picture, the name, and the dates — birth and death.
Taehyung kneels right between the two. “Come here.” he motions, gently guiding the elder by the
hand for him to do the same; Jungkook has to breathe in and out twice before being able to do so.
He still can’t look at the pictures, eyes on the floor. “Baby…” Taehyung calls. “Your sister was so
beautiful….” Jungkook closes his eyes tightly, trying to keep it in. “And your mom— You have
her smile. She looked so nice and— I don’t know, her smile looked so warm. Like yours.”
“I can’t look.” Jungkook admits, shaking his head. “I-I can’t look. I don’t remember their faces that
well anymore, I can’t fucking— make myself look at it.” he says, voice trembling. “Tae, this was a
bad idea, I can’t do this.” he tries to get up, but a hand reaches for his own right away, keeping him
there.
“Breathe in, c’mon, do it with me.” Taehyung instructs, sensing his anxiety. Jungkook opens his
eyes to look at his boyfriend, both of his hands between Taehyung’s. “Breathe in… and out… in
and out…” he nods as he does as told. “Now, we can go home, or you can focus on your breathing,
and slowly look at them. I know you well enough to know that you’ll be frustrated if we go back
without doing this.”
“You’re right.” Jungkook gulps, looking at his sister’s tombstone first. His breath gets caught in
his throat; she looks different than what his memory tricked him into remembering. Some details
were already long forgotten. “Shit.” he whispers, breathy.
Taehyung just continues rubbing his arm, slowly and reassuringly. Jungkook’s eyes then shift to
his mother’s picture, and he feels a physical pang in his chest. He misses her so much. He hasn’t
seen that smile in so long but, if he focuses enough, he can faintly hear the sound of her laugh.
He doesn’t notice the way that he squeezes Taehyung’s hand between his palm, and the blonde has
to ignore the painful grip. He knows that Jungkook doesn’t mean to hurt him, and knows that he’d
feel horrible if he knew that he is hurting him.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks, snapping Jungkook out of it. “Hey, look at me. Can I take
these off, please? I need to see your eyes…” Jungkook just gives him a weak nod that serves as the
green card for Taehyung to remove his sunglasses, placing them on top of his head.
Jungkook’s not crying, contrary to his expectations. He’s crying himself, an easy tear falling from
his eye that Jungkook quickly wipes for him. Taehyung doesn’t know what he’s necessarily crying
about, if the situation itself, if their deaths, or the immense pain that he can see in his boyfriend’s
eyes. It makes his heart ache too much for him.
He can’t imagine what it is like to lose a sister, a mother. He can’t even begin to imagine losing
them both, with the short interval of a week, at such a young age. He’s once again reminded of how
strong Jungkook is. Jungkook is the strongest person that he’s ever met.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks again, but Jungkook shakes his head.
“Can we be silent for a while? I want to talk to them, but… inside.” Jungkook points to his heart,
and Taehyung nods. Jungkook closes his eyes, and Taehyung closes his mouth, resting his head on
his boyfriend’s shoulder again. If he needs silence, he’ll give him silence.
The silence lasts for a long time. Taehyung can feel, and hear, Jungkook’s breath changing
multiple times, but he doesn’t want to interrupt, so he simply squeezes his hand each time that it
happens, showing his support.
He doesn’t know how long it’s been, if twenty minutes, thirty, maybe even an hour. He’s not
counting, nor does he want to — he just knows that it’s enough for some people to arrive, do
whatever they had to do, and leave again.
He takes a hand to the necklace around his neck, and it makes him cry again, even if quietly not to
disturb the elder. The necklace belonged to Jungkook’s mother, and it just means so much to him.
It’s such an honor to have been gifted such a thing, and he’ll always cherish it.
Jungkook opens his eyes once he finishes, not even aware of how long it’s been. He looks down at
Taehyung, at the way that he’s clutching the necklace while hugging his arm, and it makes him
gulp. “I’m done, love.” he informs.
“Oh. Okay.” Taehyung pulls away to face him, giving him a warm smile. “Do you feel better?”
“I do. So much better.” Jungkook admits, nodding. “I’ve never done this before. I’ve never tried to
talk to them just… spiritually, at home, thinking about them. I couldn’t bring myself to do that, it
was too much. Thank you for coming with me.” he says with a quiet voice, and Taehyung doesn’t
fail to notice how empty his eyes look now, and how he doesn’t properly look at him.
“You’re welcome…” Taehyung kisses his forehead twice. He knows that Jungkook’s still in his
head, and it’ll take him a while to come back to his senses, which is normal.
“Do you— Do you want to say something?” Jungkook asks, placing a hand on his thigh.
“I do, yes.” he nods. “So… I’m Taehyung, I’m your son’s boyfriend—” Jungkook feels that weird
pang in his chest again. His mother would’ve loved Taehyung so much. “I never had the pleasure
of meeting you two… but I’ve heard good things.” he smiles. “I know that you must’ve been
incredible for him to care this much about you, and I know for a fact—” he looks at his mother’s
grave. “—that you were an amazing woman, because you raised him to be the most wonderful guy,
despite everything that he’s gone through in life. You’d be so proud of him. So, so proud.”
Jungkook has to look up at the sky to avoid tears that he doesn’t even let form. It hurts so much
that he can’t even cry, he’s overwhelmed. For that reason, he tunes out the rest of the speech.
He only focuses again when he feels a hand on his thigh. “—and I promise you that I’ll keep your
boy in good hands.” Taehyung says, and Jungkook feels his stomach dropping. He’d give
everything to be able to introduce his boyfriend to his mother, and Taehyung’s speaking to the
picture as if she’s actually there — it makes him fall all over again.
Taehyung’s taking it seriously, and it warms up his chest.
Jungkook’s startled by a hand cupping his cheek, but immediately relaxes into the touch. “I’ve said
everything that I wanted to say… I often talk to your mom while holding her necklace, so I only
wanted to properly introduce myself here.” he admits with a smile, and Jungkook’s jaw slacks,
surprised. “I talk about you.” he adds, kissing the elder’s cheek. “Do you want to say anything
else, baby?”
The man takes a second to think, before shaking his head. “No, I’ve said everything that I needed
to say.” Jungkook whispers. “I just want to go home.” he requests, and Taehyung recognizes the
lack of emotion in his voice; he’s still lost in his head. “I love you…” Jungkook whispers to the
graves before getting up from the floor, and helping Taehyung do the same.
“I’m proud of you for coming here.” Taehyung says, linking their hands. “And thank you for
bringing me.” he adds as he wipes his own tears, and his boyfriend only gives him a close-mouthed
smile. It’s shocking that Jungkook isn’t crying, but what truly worries him is knowing what will
happen once they get home.
Once Jungkook finally comes to his senses and lets the first tear down, Taehyung isn’t sure if he’s
going to stop any time soon.
│►
“Are you feeling ok…?” Taehyung asks as Jungkook sits down on the couch, still quiet. He didn’t
utter a single word during the entire car ride back home, and that’s concerning. They were meant to
buy food on the way, but Taehyung decided that it was better for him to go home.
“Yes.” Jungkook says, but the blonde knows that it’s not true. “Don’t worry.”
“I have to head to the market to get things for dinner. Will you be alright with me leaving for ten
minutes?” Jungkook looks up at him with a little smile, but he’s interrupted before he can even
speak. “Don’t do that. Don’t give me a fake smile, because I’ll just order some pizza if you feel as
though you can’t be here alone. Be honest with me, hyung. Please.”
“I’ll be fine, Tae. Please, you can go, I’ll just… do homework, or whatever.” he gestures to the
door. “Don’t worry about me, just go. I’ll be ok.” Taehyung frowns, stepping closer to kiss the top
of his head. Usually, Jungkook would either hold the sides of his thighs, or touch wherever
possible, but today he doesn’t. He just sits there.
“I’ll be quick, I promise.” Taehyung assures, kissing his forehead. “Ten minutes, hyung. Call me if
you need me to return, and I will.” he says as he grabs his wallet, heading to the door. “I love you.”
Jungkook hears before the door closes, and it doesn’t take him longer than a second to break down
once he finds himself alone.
He clutches onto his shirt right over his chest as though the pain is so strong that it becomes
physically impossible to handle, and it’s something that he’d never want Taehyung to see. His sobs
fill up the room, and not even a hand over his mouth is enough to muffle them.
Moon follows him when he leaves to the kitchen, looking through the cabinets until he finds
exactly what he needs at the moment, and the same thing that seems to have been his refuge for the
past decade or so. He returns to the couch with a full bottle in his hand, opening it in a hurry — he
doesn’t have long, and he also doesn’t want to let the drink get to his head.
Jungkook makes sure to take small little sips, because he can’t possibly be drunk by the time that
Taehyung returns, but he needs to feel the taste of the whisky in his mouth.
The sips, however, start getting bigger and bigger as the pain increases with each sob, and he
reaches a point where he doesn’t care anymore; he can’t think well enough to care, he just wants
the pain to go away. He feels both happy and relieved that he finally had some contact with his
mother and sister after so long, but now, dealing with the resulting pain, he’s not sure if it was
worth it — it’s unbearable. It's almost like he’s going through everything again.
And the bottle starts emptying out. And he’s not really thinking straight anymore, he’s not keeping
track of the time passed. The only thing that he knows is that the ache in his heart is slowly starting
to lessen with each sip that he takes from the bottle.
His eyes start to get heavy. Breathing slower. Heartbeat faster. The bottle over halfway.
The sound of the keys jangling outside the front door startles him, and he’s quick enough to hide
the bottle behind his back just in time for Taehyung to enter the room. “Hey, baby.” he says with a
smile, leaving the keys on the small table by the door. “I was quick, wasn’t I?” Jungkook starts
sweating as he watches him walk closer, and his boyfriend stops in front of him. “Uhm, why do I
smell—”
“No.” Jungkook cuts him off, voice slurred.
Taehyung gulps. He knows exactly what’s happening. “Did you—” he’s interrupted again.
“I don’t want to talk.” his voice sounds angry, but he’s not angry at Taehyung; no, never. He’s
angry at himself, so incredibly angry, and embarrassed. Taehyung opens his mouth to speak, but
stops when Jungkook gets up, so fast that it startles him — especially when a hand almost pushes
him away when, in reality, Jungkook was just reaching for something to hold onto.
His vision isn’t focused, and he ends up tripping over his own feet after two steps. The bottle
smashes on the floor, and the sound is followed by a train of curse words.
Taehyung steps back, covering his ears. He’s never felt scared of Jungkook, ever, but apparently,
it’s true that there’s always a first time for everything, because right now, Taehyung doesn’t even
know if it’s safe to approach him. Will he get pushed? Yelled at?
“W-Why are you hugging yourself?” Jungkook asks, still sitting on the floor between the broken
glass and spilled whisky.
“Because you’re scaring me right now.” Taehyung admits, honest, and he can see horror and guilt
filling Jungkook’s eyes.
“No… I just— I’m angry at myself…! I didn’t mean to scare you, I’m just— I’m fucking drunk.”
he slurs, almost falling back down when he tries to stand. He hasn’t drunk so freely in a long time,
and he should’ve known that it would get to him, but he couldn’t think straight.
“Please, stay away.”
“Baby—”
“No, go to bed.” Taehyung instructs, taking a step back with his hand out. Jungkook freezes,
shoulders sagging. “I’ll sleep on the couch. You don’t need me there tonight. Go.”
Jungkook’s eyes fill with new tears. “Taehyung…”
“Please, just go to sleep.”
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss
◄│ 67 │►
Chapter Notes
Jungkook wakes up the next morning with an unbearable headache that strikes across his skull as
soon as his eyes blink open. “Shit.” he curses to himself, unsure of what’s happening. The pain
feels just like a hangover, but he only remembers taking small sips from the whisky, so it wouldn’t
make sense to be in this much discomfort.
“Here.” he hears, so he forces his eyes to open. Taehyung is sitting on a chair right next to the bed,
and he’s gesturing to the nightstand. Jungkook’s lazy eyes follow his finger to a pill, and a glass of
water. “Take it.” Taehyung instructs.
“Thank you, baby… How did you know that my head hurts?” Jungkook asks with a groggy voice
as he holds himself up on his forearm, quickly swallowing the pillow. When faced with a silent
answer, he takes a proper look at his boyfriend — his eyes fall to the bottles on the floor; the
bottles that he had hidden in multiple drawers, multiple cabinets.
Taehyung simply waits for a reaction.
Jungkook sits up. “I can explain.”
“Can you?” Taehyung presses. “You got so drunk last night. I sent you to bed, and while I was
cleaning up your mess, a thought popped into my head… I decided to look around and, God, I
really wanted to be wrong, but I found all of this.” he gestures to the bottles by his feet. “You never
stopped, did you? That’s why you never had a second withdrawal, isn’t it?”
Jungkook remains silent, unsure of what to say.
Taehyung chews on the inside of his cheek. “You— You scared me last night.”
The terrified look that replaces Jungkook’s defeated one is heartbreaking. “What?” he whispers.
“You pushed me, you broke a bottle, and— you even sounded angry at me.” Jungkook’s eyes well
up, and he gapes. “Do you have any idea of how terrifying drunk people can be?” Taehyung asks,
his voice breaking, and Jungkook hates it. He does, of course. He does know that too well.
“I would never hurt you, Tae.” Jungkook tries to reach for him, but Taehyung leans away; the elder
swears that he can hear his own heart breaking. “Tae, I would never lay a finger on you.”
“I know that you wouldn’t…” Taehyung nods. “I’m just not sure if your drunk unconscious agrees
with that.” Jungkook’s shoulders sag. “I don’t want you to beat yourself up over it, but you know
that I tell you everything. I’m honest about my feelings and, what I felt last night, was nothing but
fear. I never thought that I’d feel such a thing towards you, hyung. It was surreal. I hated it.”
“Don’t say that. Tae, please, don’t say that.” Jungkook’s voice comes out raspy, choked up, and he
doesn’t even try to wipe away the tear that falls down his cheek. “We— We can talk about this…
We, uh, w-we’ll figure it out.” he tries, another tear following the previous one.
“I have to go to work.”
“Baby—”
“I’m already late, Jungkook. I was waiting for you to wake up, and I’ll probably get there after my
first patient.” Taehyung says as he stands up from the chair. “Just think about what happened, and
think well about it.” Jungkook watches in silence as he starts putting every bottle inside a trash bag.
“I’m going to throw these out, Jungkook. If you buy more before coming home, that’s going to be
on you.” is all that he says before walking away.
“Tae…” but the blonde walks out of the room. “Taehyung, please.” Jungkook calls, this time a
little louder, only to flinch when the front door closes. It wasn’t slammed, but it feels just as loud to
his ears. He falls back onto his pillow, blurry eyes on the ceiling.
Taehyung left without a ‘see you later’ or an ‘I love you’, and it worries him more than he ever
thought that it would. He doesn’t even know what to feel. Guilt, remorse, embarrassment. It’s a
mixture of all of those and so much more.
Taehyung left, and is angry at him — with valid reasons to be. Jungkook can’t believe that he
scared him. Taehyung should never be afraid of him, not even for a split second. He curls himself
around his boyfriend’s pillow, feeling the tears start to flow harder, with more intent.
It feels hard to breathe. He scared his boyfriend. He scared the one he loves.
What if Taehyung doesn’t want to talk to him now? What if he doesn’t want to see him? He can’t
think about anything else, only the ‘what if’s of it. What if Taehyung doesn’t return home?
What then?
│►
“If you check your phone one more time, I’m going to lose it.” Yunseok whisper-yells. “What’s
gotten into you today? Are you waiting for a text, or a call?” he asks, puzzled.
“No.” Jungkook lies, fixing the hood that he’s using to try and hide his red eyes from sobbing into
his pillow before leaving his apartment. “Kind of.” he sighs, putting his phone back in his pocket.
“I’m going fucking crazy.”
“And you’re about to make me go crazy, too, from watching you check your phone every five
seconds.” his classmate chuckles. “Whose text are you longing for so hard?”
“Uhm… My boyfriend’s.”
“Is he ok?” Yunseok asks, and Jungkook looks up at him — a mistake. “Oh, you look like absolute
shit today.” the younger man is quick to point out. “Have you, like, been crying the whole
morning, or what? Because that’s what is looks like. Are you going through something…?”
Jungkook sighs. “Just some shitty personal problems going on.” he looks down, fidgets with his
eraser. “I’ve tried calling Taehyung about thirty times throughout the morning, but he didn’t pick
up. He doesn’t even reject my calls, he’s straight up just ignoring me, and— I’m sorry, I don’t
know why I’m dumping this on you. I apologize…”
“No, don’t apologize. Go on.” Yunseok encourages with a smile. “I’m great at giving relationship
advices… even if I’m single as fuck. Tell me what’s going on.”
“It’s not a matter of needing relationship advices…” Jungkook takes a moment, before exhaling a
little shakily. “The problem is that I don’t know whether there’s still a relationship there, to begin
with.” he admits, and God, it hurts. “I feel like shit.” he has to look up to avoid the tears.
“Did— Did you two break up? Did he break up with you?”
“I don’t know. He’s never ignored me before, and he was really angry this morning…” Jungkook
says as he grabs his phone once more, only to find nothing. He sighs again.
“Do you want to leave?” Yunseok offers, leaning closer. “We can sit at the cafeteria for a little bit,
and you can tell me about what’s going on. Neither of us is paying attention to this class, so it
won’t be any different if we leave.” Jungkook looks at him, hesitating. He wants to go, because he
can’t stand being anywhere right now, but he doesn’t want to miss his class. “Have a coffee.”
That does it. “Fine.” Jungkook gives in, fixing his hoodie before putting everything inside of his
bag, just like his classmate. They’re both careful to be as quiet as possible when it comes to leaving
the full classroom, unwilling to disturb the lesson, and they don’t utter a single word on the way to
the cafeteria, either.
“Sit down, I’ll grab us some coffee.”
“Okay.” the elder heads for an empty table, sitting down with his head hanging low all the while
trying to block out his thoughts. He doesn’t want to think, or he might start spiraling, so he forces
himself not to while waiting for his friend. “Thank you, man…” he whispers as the cup is handed
to him. “I’m sorry that you have to see me like this. I’m kind of messed up, but I can imagine how
weird it is for people to see it for the first time…”
“Hey, no, it’s fine. I have a sister, so I’ve seen it all when it comes to people being in sensitive
moods. You really don’t want to be around her when she’s on her period…”
Jungkook tilts his head. “So, to you, I’m like a woman on her period, got it.”
Yunseok throws his head back with a laugh. “No, I’m just saying that I’m used to dealing with
people when they’re feeling down.” he rephrases. “So, would you like to tell me what happened
with you and your boyfriend? You don’t have to go into fine detail, if you don’t want to.”
“Uh, okay, so… I got drunk last night, for reasons that I’m not going to get into, and I ended up
scaring by boyfriend. I feel like complete shit. He left the apartment, angry at me, and isn’t
accepting my calls, nor replying to my texts.” Jungkook explains, hiding his face in his hands with
his elbows resting on the table. “I’m terrified that he may break up with me, or not even return.”
“Let’s see… Is he at work?”
“Yeah, he is.”
“Then… he’s probably just busy.” Yunseok tries to rationalize. “You shouldn’t immediately think
of the worst-case scenarios. He might just have a lot of stuff to do at work, you know?”
“Tae’s a therapist. He has many patients, but there are short breaks between them. If he wanted to
return my calls, or text me, he would.” Jungkook rubs his eyes, groans. “I don’t know what I’m
going to do if he doesn’t go back to our apartment. I really fucking don’t know.”
“Hm… Well, the way I see it is, if you go to him instead of waiting for him, there’s no way for him
to avoid you.” the young man suggests, gesturing. “Go wait for him when he gets off work so that,
even if he does plan on not going home, he’ll still have to deal with you, and you’ll know.”
“But I want to respect his space. He may not want to see me, and he might be avoiding him for
good, so I don’t want to go against that, if he wants space from me. We have a very, very healthy
and respectful relationship, I can’t just fucking— show up.” Yunseok makes a face. “What?”
“Do you want to be single, or do you want to fix things with him?” Jungkook opens his mouth, but
he doesn’t even get to finish. “Exactly. You’re going to wait for him at work, dude.”
“I— I didn’t say that.”
“You did.” Yunseok nods. “You’ll do what’s right, and that’s fixing things. I need my smart
classmate, who’s witty and cool, not this… sad and depressed guy.” he gestures to him.
“I’m always depressed, actually.”
“Oh, shut up.” Yunseok laughs, but Jungkook can only offer a weak chuckle. It wasn’t a joke, but
he can’t blame anyone for not taking it seriously — and he’s thankful that they don’t, because he
doesn’t want to talk about it. “Now, go to him when he clocks off.”
“I guess… I guess that I’ll have to…”
“That’s what I’m talking about. Even if it goes sour, at least you tried.”
“Yeah…”
│►
Namjoon bits his last goodbyes to the lady behind the front desk, his briefcase in one hand and
phone in the other. His feet stop as soon as he steps out of the building, however, given that he sees
a tall male dressed in all black, his hood over his head, and leaning against the wall with his hands
deep in the pockets of his jeans.
He takes a step closer. “Do you need any help, or— Wait, Jungkook?” the older male looks up,
pushing himself off of the wall. “God, are you ok? You look terrible.” he notes, worried.
“Yeah, I’m fine, I’m waiting for Taehyung.” he smiles, but Namjoon can see right through it; the
smile doesn’t reach his eyes, and he looks sadder than ever. The therapist simply raises an
eyebrow, and looks at him until Jungkook’s façade slowly crumbles. “I don’t know if we’re still
together… That’s why I’m here, and why I look like this.”
To say that Namjoon’s surprised is an understatement. “Do you want to come in?”
“No, no, I may miss him if I do, and I’m too scared that he might not go to our apartment. I really
can’t miss him, I-I have to wait here.” Jungkook tries to explain, gesturing to the clinic.
“Okay…” Namjoon nods. “Why do you believe that you two are broken up, to the point of him not
going back home?” he asks, not at all minding to have such a conversation there.
“I just… I keep fucking everything up.” Jungkook says, and Namjoon’s positively confused. All
the sessions — and outside conversations — that he’s hard with Taehyung, he’s heard nothing but
praises and love confessions regarding Jungkook, so he doesn’t understand why Jungkook believes
that he keeps messing up.
“I can’t get much into detail because, as much as you two are my friends, I respect my patient’s
confidentiality too much to break it. However, in the perspective of a friend… I don’t believe that
you could’ve done anything messed up enough to make Taehyung just not go back home.”
“Try adding to your judgment the fact that I’ve been hiding something from him for months now,
something that he found out, and we discussed, and promised to never let it happen again, yet I
kept hiding it from him. Yesterday, it blew up in our faces.” he says, almost all in one single
breath. “He left the apartment without even looking at me properly… Also, add how he hasn’t
picked up any of my calls, nor has replied to my texts the whole day. I’m literally going fucking
crazy.” Jungkook sighs, trying not to start crying right then and there. His heart aches. “Do you
still think that I didn’t fuck up really, really hard?”
“I still believe that it would take much more for Taehyung to leave you. He’s a psychologist, he
knows how your brain rationalizes things even if they’re wrong, he understands things in a deeper
way than a common person. I do, too. Your relationship has that advantage, not to mention how
Taehyung’s just a very understanding person by nature…” Namjoon says, only to pause. “Was it
about you drinking? Did he find out?” Jungkook nods, chewing on his bottom lip to stop himself
from crying. “He may be hurt by the lie, even a little angry, but I truly don’t think that he would
just give up on you… on your relationship like that. He loves you.”
Jungkook has to look down, unable to control his tears any longer. “Taehyung’s the best thing to
ever happen to me, Joon. Someone as messed up as me doesn’t have many chances at life, we
don’t really— I— No one would ever see me the way that he sees me, and understand me the way
that he does. I— I love him so much, Joon. I can’t lose him. I can’t.” he says, tears already freely
running down his cheeks. “I fucking can’t.” he whispers.
Namjoon takes a step closer, mouth parting for him to speak, but quickly closes it again when they
hear Taehyung’s voice wishing a good afternoon to both ladies at the front desk. He’s smiling and
waving at them, but his smile is gone the second that his eyes land on his boyfriend.
His crying boyfriend.
“What are you doing here?” Taehyung asks. The question is rough, but his voice has the same
softness to it that Jungkook’s used to, and he doesn’t know what to make of it. He takes a step
closer, taking his hoodie off. He wants to be honest, even if that means showing how horrible he
looks; how vulnerable he’s being.
“I was afraid that you wouldn’t come home.” he admits.
Taehyung sighs. “Why would you think that?”
“I tried calling you so many times— I sent so many texts. I— Shit, I’ve been panicking the whole
fucking day.” Jungkook elaborates, voice failing to hide how distraught he is. “I couldn’t focus in
any of my classes, I missed work… I’ve been panicking, and I’m so fucking scared.”
“I’m going to leave you two to it… Have a good afternoon, and talk about what’s happening
between you two. You know that communication is key.” Namjoon reminds, bowing before
turning around to leave. The two only give him a weak ‘goodbye’, too focused on each other.
Taehyung looks back at his boyfriend. “Let’s head to the apartment.” he informs, already walking
away. Jungkook watches him walk around his car, but he’s unable to move himself, feet stuck to
the same spot. He can’t stop crying, either, even if his tears are now silent. “Get in the car, hyung.”
the blonde gestures when he realizes that he’s still in the same place.
Jungkook gulps. Taehyung’s face is stoic, his voice monotone, and he feels himself grow more and
more anxious. He hates it. He quickly walks to the car, getting into the passenger seat while the
younger man sits behind the steering wheel, turning the engine on.
He has to do his best not to cry in the car, because sniffing in such a small and closed space would
be too embarrassing. They’re both silent, and Jungkook feels as though there’s a wall between them
— it’s the worst feeling ever, and he despises it.
The elder keeps his attention on the scenery being left behind on the window, trying to look calm
when his heart is hammering, and his lungs don’t even manage to fill up completely. He’s scared.
So scared.
They come to a stop at a red light, so Taehyung faces him, analyzing his body language. He looks
rigid, his hands are closed into tight fists, and his leg bounces up and down anxiously. Taehyung
sighs, rubbing his eyes. “Are you ok? I know how worked up you can get…”
Jungkook blinks, turning to him. “I’m just terrified of what may happen to us when we get home
and talk, is all.” he tries to sound as though it’s no big deal, but Taehyung knows better.
“Hyung, listen… I may be upset, and I may have been genuinely scared of you for a moment there,
and you may have messed up, but that doesn’t change the way that I feel about you. Even despite
all of these things, you’re my boyfriend, and I love you. Don’t ever think that that’s going to
change this easily, okay?” that seems to take a visible weight from Jungkook’s shoulders.
He nods twice, closing his eyes when Taehyung takes a hand to his cheek, caressing it before going
back to driving when the light turns green. Jungkook feels relieved — to some extent. The
conversation still hasn’t happened, and it can go many ways. It may go well, or horribly.
Jungkook isn’t ready for the second option. He wishes that the drive home was longer.
│►
“Come here.” Taehyung pats the couch, and Jungkook sits down next to him. “I have to ask… For
how long have you been back to drinking after having that one withdrawal? Now that I think about
it, I should’ve realized that you were still drinking… No one has one single withdrawal and is free
from an addiction.” he concludes. “Since when have you been drinking again?” Jungkook looks
down at his lap, letting out a cry that pierces through the blonde’s chest “Don’t work yourself up,
I’m just trying to understand how long it has been, or if it was a one-time thing.”
“I’ve never stopped drinking.” Jungkook whispers, embarrassed and regretful.
“So… You were lying the whole time?” Taehyung closes his eyes, trying his best to keep a sigh in.
“Did you even take the pills?” Jungkook shakes his head. “Were you planning to lie about this
forever, hyung? I don’t— I don’t understand. Were you going to hide it forever?”
“No! No, I was trying to figure out a way to get out of the hole that I dug myself in, but it kept
getting deeper and deeper and— I was going to tell you, I was.” Jungkook tries to explain, his
hands shaking because, my God, Namjoon was so wrong; he did mess up enough, he did mess up
that much, and everything is ruined now. Now Taehyung will see how much of a burden he is, will
understand how much he weighs everyone down, how much of a failure he is.
“Was it… Was it my fault? Did I not support you enough for you to know that you could trust me,
and tell me?” Taehyung tries to rationalize. “I’ve been working for almost a year on trying to
understand you, and support you, and trying to help you… I do everything that I can and more for
you to succeed, and I—”
“Tae, don’t.” Jungkook interrupts before he can go on. “Don’t think that this is because of you,
because it’s not. Not for a second. It was just me being terrified to tell you. It was that, and only
that. I didn’t want to disappoint you again, now that I’m studying and everything— I was terrified.
I’m terrified right now, and it’s not because of you, or what you do for me. It’s about me alone. I
can’t fucking stop, a-and I can’t even explain to you the reason why, I’m— It’s not you—” he has
to stop to inhale, running both of his hands through his hair. “Please don’t leave me, Tae.” he
whispers, voice broken.
Taehyung’s lips curve down. “Do you really believe that I would? Did I not hold you through that
withdrawal? Did I not stay by your side, up late when you were too anxious to sleep? Did I—”
“Did I not disappoint you so many fucking times?”
“This is not about the fucking alcohol, Jungkook.” Taehyung says, exasperated, and the unusual
usage of the curse word makes Jungkook gulp. “I don’t care about it, Kook. I’m not surprised, in
the slightest, that you were unable to drop it just like that. This is about you lying to me. Multiple
times, hyung. I want to know— to understand why you didn’t tell me that you were struggling.”
“I can’t lose you, Tae.” Jungkook whispers. “I was scared of it happening. Please, don’t leave.”
“I’m not leaving, hyung.” the blonde sighs. “I’m not, but you really scared me last night… and I
don’t want that to happen ever again. I love you, I truly do, but you either go to rehab, or—” he has
to stop, voice getting caught in his throat.
Jungkook’s shoulders sag. “Tae—”
“You either go to rehab, or we’ll have to break up.” Taehyung voice fails him, coming out in a
mere whisper at the end. “I don’t want to see you as someone who I’m scared of, not for a freaking
second. You’re my Jungkook, my boyfriend, the best guy ever, the man that I’m in love with.
You’re not some… guy who pushes me and yells, and breaks glass, and scares me.”
Jungkook lets out a quiet sob upon hearing those words; that’s the absolute last thing that he wants
to hear — that description should’ve never been used for him. “Baby…”
“I didn’t pick up your calls because I was thinking all of this through. I… I was going through it in
my head the whole day, and it’s just— I hate it. I despise saying that we have to break up, because
that’s the last thing that I want.” Taehyung’s bottom lip wobbles, and he has to suck in a harsh
breath to continue. “Your health comes first and, unfortunately, you don’t have enough strength to
do this for yourself yet, so I’ll ask you to do this for me, for us. I love you, hyung, and I want us to
be happy… I d-don’t want to be scared of you.” he explains, taking one of his hands to Jungkook’s
cheek, thumbing at it ever so carefully.
“Tae, I—” Jungkook stops, closing his eyes for a moment. “I’m scared… of rehab. I’m scared.”
“I know, baby. I know that you are, any sane person would be… But I’ll be there, your friends will
be there, and I’ll make sure that the facility is the best of the best. I promise you that you’ll be in
great hands.” Taehyung assures. “You don’t have to be scared, okay?”
“Okay.” Jungkook whispers. “I don’t want to lose you, and I don’t want to lose what we have, so
I’ll go.” he leans closer, resting his forehead against Taehyung’s. “I can let go of alcohol, even if
it’ll be hard, but I can’t fucking let go of you so, please, even if it gets ugly while I’m there, don’t
give up on me.”
“I’d never.” Taehyung pulls back to kiss his cheek twice. “I would never. I’ll be by your side
through all of it.” Jungkook nods, allowing his boyfriend to tuck him into his chest, a hand gently
going up and down his back while the other threads through his hair.
“Do you promise?” he whispers.
“I do. I promise.” Taehyung assures. “Are you... hiding anything else…?” he asks.
“No, I’m not.” Jungkook says, and Taehyung can hear in his voice that he’s being honest, but how
can he be sure? How can he completely trust Jungkook now? “What’s wrong, Tae…?”
“Kook… I mean, relationships need trust. I trust you with all of me, I tell you everything, and I’m
honest about my thoughts and feelings. I’ve been working on bettering myself so that we can work
out just right, and I— I’m now beginning to think that the effort doesn’t go both ways. I know that
it’s hard for you to drop alcohol and, seriously, I’m not angry that you drank again, because I knew
that this would be a reoccurring issue that would end up needing medical and professional help,
but… you lied. I thought— I thought that, with you opening up, that I was helping you feel the
same trust in me, but you’ve been lying this whole time… Pretending to take the pills…?”
Taehyung sighs. “How can I be sure that you’re not hiding something else?”
Jungkook rushes to grab his hands, holding them close to his chest. “I promise you, Taehyung. I
mean this, from the bottom of my heart. I’m not hiding anything from you. That was it.”
Taehyung takes a moment to process that, and his eyes well up. “You’ve been suffering with this
for so long… I’m so sorry, hyung, I’m so incredibly sorry. You should’ve told me. I would’ve been
there for you, I would’ve done everything differently…”
“I’m sorry for not telling you… It’s something that I’m really embarrassed of, and that it’s hard for
me to talk about. I didn’t want to disappoint you again, I just—” Jungkook stops, breathing in. “I
need help.” he finally says those words, and it removes a heavy, burdening weight from his
shoulders. “Fuck, Tae, I need help. I can’t do it by myself. I need help, I-I need to do something.”
“And you’ll get all the help that you need, hyung. I promise you.” Taehyung cups his cheeks,
smiling through his tears. “I searched a lot during my breaks… I found a good place. You’ll go to
the safest, most amazing facility that I could find.”
Jungkook closes his eyes, nodding as he places a hand over Taehyung’s on his face. “Just don’t
leave me, please. I won’t be able to do it without you.” and he knows that he may sound repetitive,
too persistent; maybe too dependent, but he just needs his boyfriend, the support from the man that
he loves. He reckons that it’s normal. He should long for such support.
“I’m here. I’ll be here for as long as you want me.” Taehyung assures. “I love you, and that won’t
change, even if things get ugly.” he smiles when Jungkook lays his head down on his lap.
“Can I take a nap right here? My head hurts from all the crying, and the stress and— the hangover
hasn’t completely gone away…” Jungkook whispers, eyes already closing upon the contact of
Taehyung’s hand with his scalp.
“Don’t you prefer lying in bed?” the elder just shakes his head. “Alright, then. Nap for as long as
you need, hyungie. I’ll be here once you wake up.”
│►
It’s late at night when they’re both in bed, Taehyung threading his fingers through his boyfriend’s
hair carefully. Jungkook’s fast asleep, face hidden against Taehyung’s broad chest. He reaches
back as quickly as possible when his phone starts ringing, unwilling to let it wake up the other
male, so he takes the call right away.
“Give me a second.” Taehyung whispers, putting the phone down to slip out of bed as gently as he
can. He then bends down to kiss the top of Jungkook’s head, and heads out of the bedroom with the
phone in his hand. “Hey.” he greets, sitting down on the couch.
“Hey! I was calling to ask you if you’d like to go out with Hobi and I. We’re checking out a new
club.” Jimin offers, and Taehyung can hear the smile in his voice.
“Uhm, today’s not going to work out, no…” he scratches the back of his neck. “This is actually a
horrible day for you to be asking me out, I just want to go to sleep and wake up to a completely
different day, forget that today even happened…”
“What happened?” Taehyung sighs. “C’mon, let it out, you know that bottling up is no good.”
“Don’t tell Hoseok about this… Jungkook should be the one opening up about it, I shouldn’t even
be telling you.” Taehyung prefaces, guiltily. “Jungkook has been dealing with alcoholism for the
majority of his life, and it got kind of serious yesterday… We’re going to look into sending him to a
rehabilitation center, and today was a horrible day because we had to make that decision, and it’s
been really stressful.” he shares. “We’re going to visit the place tomorrow to inform ourselves
about the signing up process, and all of that…”
“He… what?” Jimin sounds surprised, unbelieving. “Wow, I never would’ve imagined. That’s
honestly crazy, and it sounds really fucking serious. I can’t begin to imagine how scared he must
be with the thought of going to rehab… Poor guy… I’d be terrified.”
“He’s scared, but I’m trying to support him as much as humanly possible. I’m trying to make him
see that he has me, our friends, and even my family by his side. He’ll get through it. He’s so strong,
Jimin, I don’t doubt that he’ll make it through rehab, I’m just scared for him. It’ll be painful, and
terrifying, I know that much…”
“Jungkook hyung will be fine, I’m sure of it. Besides, we’ll be by his side, and if you two need
anything, don’t hesitate, alright? We’re here for you two. This is really shocking, and I’d never
guess that this was going on, but we’ll help as much as we can.”
Taehyung has to look up to stop his tears from flowing. “What if he feels miserable there? I love
him, I don’t want him to feel like crap through that experience… I want him to get better.”
“Tae, rehab is hard, and it won’t be easy. He’ll be deprived of something that his body physically
needs at this point, and he won’t be able to turn to you, or any of his friends when things get tough,
so it’ll be hard. He’ll be ok, though. In the end, it’ll be worth it.”
“He—”
“Baby?” Taehyung looks back when he hears Jungkook’s voice, the older man standing by the
door with his eyes half-closed. “Oh, you’re on your phone. I— I’m sorry.” he whispers.
“Jiminie, I have to go. I’ll call you tomorrow, alright? Thank you for everything that you said just
now.” he says to the phone, and Jungkook gestures that it’s ok, but Taehyung shakes his head.
“You’re welcome, bub. I can hear hyung in the back…” Jimin giggles. “Cuddle him, kiss him a lot,
and… have all of him that you can before he goes. You two will be apart for a long time…”
“I know.” Taehyung whispers. “I’ll, uhm, I’ll go now. Thank you, and have fun.” he gets up as he
ends the call, heading to his sleepy boyfriend. “What got you out of bed, huh?” he asks, smiling.
“You could’ve kept talking, love.” Jungkook frowns. “You don’t have to babysit me, I’d be fine
waiting for your return.”
Taehyung tsks, circling Jungkook’s hips with his arms. “I’d much rather cuddle you, though.” he
watches as Jungkook’s smile slowly grows back into its charming form, the latter bending down to
grab him by the thighs to hoist him up. Taehyung giggles. “What are you doing?”
“Taking you to bed.” Jungkook kisses him, his eyes still heavy. “I woke up feeling alone, it was
really weird. I’m so used to having you by my side in bed, I don’t like to be alone.” he explains as
he carefully lays the blonde down on the mattress.
“I’m here now.” Taehyung immediately latches himself onto Jungkook’s side, the latter still fixing
the covers over them. “Are you nervous? About tomorrow?”
“Yeah.” Jungkook admits. “I just hope that the place that you chose is a good pick, and that it’ll be
able to help me… I trust your decision, but I’m still fucking nervous.”
“That’s natural. Thing is, for this to work, you’ll need to put a lot of dedication and effort into it
once you’re there. Then, when you return, you really cannot touch any alcoholic drink. If you take
the tiniest sip, you may fall back into the hole, and we don’t want that…”
“Trust me, if I’m able to walk out of there sober, I’ll never even think about drinking again. I need
this disease gone.” Jungkook turns to his side, now lying facing each other.
“Many people relapse after years of sobriety, so this may be a thing that will follow us through life,
but I’ll always be there for you whenever needed, okay? Always.” Taehyung whispers,
intertwining their hands, and Jungkook smiles at the silent promise of a long future together.
“And I’ll try my hardest to be sober, and a good boyfriend to you.” he squeezes his hand.
Taehyung smiles. “You’re already more than a good boyfriend… but I’ll take the promise.” he
leans closer, kissing the little mole under Jungkook’s bottom lip. “Now, let’s sleep. We have a
really long day ahead of us tomorrow…”
│►
Chapter End Notes
Now really,,, let's discuss

◄│ 68 │►
Chapter Notes
Before you read, I want to say that I've done a LOT of research about rehab to know
how to write the next few updates so I'll try to keep it as real as possible... If you've
been to rehab or if you have anyone close to you who have and your/their experience
wasn't like this, then apologies, but this is what studying taught me. Feel free to correct
me on anything as it is very well welcomed ((: Thank you, you may go on
“So, basically, we offer three options.” the lady starts, sliding over a card on the table with a polite
smile. “Option one is the thirty days package, option two is sixty days, which would be two
months, and then the third option is for those who believe that two months might not be enough, so
we offer ninety days, three months.” she explains, pointing towards each with her pen. “If your
package ends and you feel the need to add more days, we can totally do that. It’s perfectly
reasonable, and we take care of the issue right away, and extend your stay.”
Taehyung leans closer to the table to see exactly what she’s pointing at, and Jungkook’s just sitting
next to him, stiff as a board. He can only focus on the prices, having a hard time accepting that he’s
going to put such a toll on his boyfriend.
The lady goes on, much to his dismay. “The prices that you see here are excluding the medication
that you’ll most definitely need once you start the whole detoxification process, so it will be this
plus the medical bills. Everything else, such as food and hygiene products are included.”
“Are visits allowed?” Taehyung asks, curious.
“Yes, of course. As long as you give us the names of those allowed to come see you, as we don’t
allow just anyone to enter our facilities. Visitations occur on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and they
allow two people only to come and stay for two hours, so I’d advise for you to make a plan with
the visitors so that you can come to an agreement about who comes and when.” she explains.
They both nod, and Jungkook’s left fidgeting with his fingers.
“Now, I understand that this may sound like too much, but I must give you the overall information
so that you know what you’ll be signing up for. I don’t want you two young men to pay for
something that you won’t be happy with in the end.” the woman adds.
“Thank you, it’s highly appreciated.” Taehyung gives her a little smile, and she quickly mirrors it
with one of her own; her smile is both professional and warm, and Taehyung believes that this
clinic might just have been the perfect pick. “Could you, please, give us a minute to discuss this?”
“Of course. I’ll grab you two some water.” she smiles before getting up and leaving the room, the
sound of her heels getting lower and lower as she walks away.
Taehyung turns to his boyfriend right away. “So, what do you think?” he asks.
“It’s so expensive, Tae.” Jungkook says with a sigh, running a hand through his hair. “The lady
sounds really fucking nice and polite, and the deal doesn’t sound bad, but the price is just— This is
a problem that I created myself, and that I’m too weak to fight alone. It’s not your fault, you didn’t
create this, so why should it be your responsibility? It’s unfair to put it all on you, you shouldn’t
have to pay for all of this.”
“Baby, no, listen to me.” Taehyung reaches for his hands, holding them. “I don’t care about the
prices, they don’t matter. If it’s any consolation, I thought that it would be more than what it is,
and I was fine with that. I want to know what you think of the clinic, not the price. Please.”
“It sounds good. I mean, for what rehab can be, I don’t really know. This place seems too fancy,
but at the same time, everyone that we’ve encountered here was extremely nice, and the entrance
hall looked almost homely… I don’t know. What do you think?” he turns the question around,
playing with the three thin rings that Taehyung has in one of his hands.
“I think that this is a really good place. I saw some pictures on their website, and they have many
different activities and things for you to busy yourself with. They even have a little gym, for you to
work those arms, still.” Taehyung smiles, feeling a weight lifting from his arms when his
boyfriend’s lips curve upwards, too. “And I agree, this place looks both professional and
welcoming… and the workers have been extremely polite.”
“So… I uhm, we should sign the papers.” Jungkook whispers. “Which package are we picking?”
“Hyung, that decision is totally up to you. You’re the one fighting this addiction, and you’re the
one who will stay here, so I believe that you should be the one judging how long it would be ideal
for you to stay.” Taehyung says, placing a hand on the other’s thigh. “It’s your call. I’ll support
whatever package that you pick.”
“I think…” Jungkook looks away. “A month may be too… I don’t know, quick, is that the word? I
mean that it might go by too fast. Three months, on the other hand, sounds like hell. Three months
away from you, and Moon, and just everything?” he tries to rationalize. “The second option should
be ideal, don’t you think?”
“Considering your reasoning, I’ll support you with that decision. Besides, it’s fixable. If you
change your mind, it’s easily fixable.” Taehyung grabs his hand again, planting a sweet and
reassuring kiss to his palm. Jungkook feels his heart swell. “I’m so proud of you for this, hyung, I
mean it. You’ll get through this, and I’m so freaking proud of you for doing this.”
Jungkook opens his mouth, but there’s a knock on the door before the lady returns with a little tray
with three glasses of water. “So, have you reached any conclusion, or do you need a few more
minutes?” she asks as she steps closer, setting the tray down on her desk.
Jungkook nudges Taehyung’s knee for him to speak. “That won’t be necessary, we’ve reached a
decision.” he informs. “We’d like to sign the papers. It’s the right thing to do.”
“That’s lovely to hear.” she smiles, rolling her chair away to get some papers, and returning with
the same method. “Shall we get started? Which one of you is staying?”
“I-I am.” Jungkook chews on the inside of his cheek.
“Very well, I’ll be needing your identification card, please.” she requests, waiting for him to get
his wallet out so to give her what she’s just asked for. “Which package are you picking, Mr. Jeon?”
the lady asks, already filling up the signing-up papers with his information.
“Just Jungkook. Jungkook is fine.” he corrects. “And we thought that the second package should
be enough. It’s neither too long, nor too short… so we’re going with that one.”
“I hope that you don’t mind me asking, but for how long have you had this addiction?”
“I— Uh, a long time. I was eighteen when I started drinking, so it’s been a decade.” she nods,
looking back down at her papers for a moment. “I also drank before, but only… occasionally. It
only got bad when I was eighteen.”
“You’re very young, so a decade is a very big chunk of your life. This addiction, besides being
something that you’ve had for the majority of your life, also started in your teen years. It won’t be
easy to let go of, which I’m sure that you’re aware…” the lady prefaces. “I would personally
advise you to undergo the third package, ninety days. Please, do not think that I’m saying this
because it’s the most expensive one, no. I’ve seen people reach the end of the two months, and
then feel like they’ve failed when they have to extend their stay. I do not wish to see it happen ever
again, so this is my personal recommendation.
“What do you think?” Jungkook whispers, looking back at his boyfriend.
Taehyung smiles, warm. “Whatever you think is best, hyung. The reasoning makes sense…”
Jungkook breathes in, gulps. “If you think that the third package is more likely to give me good
results, then we, uhm, we’ll sign up for that one.” he decides, a little hesitant, his hand blindly
looking for Taehyung’s; the immediate squeeze that he feels is relaxing.
“Lovely. Now, we currently have three beds available, so we’re able to take you in whenever
you’re ready. When would you like to be admitted?” she asks with a smile.
“Oh.” Jungkook’s eyes widen comically. “I thought that I would be put in a waiting list for who
knows how long— Will I just get admitted now? I mean, r-right away…?” he asks, his voice
wavering, and Taehyung squeezes his hand reassuringly.
“As I said, we currently have those three beds available because their occupants returned home this
week. We have about twelve, if I’m not mistaken, cases that are waiting to reach a decision on
which package to choose, and they’ll start coming in soon. If my predictions don’t fail me, most of
those will be signing their papers before the end of this week, and that means that there will be a
waiting list very, very soon.” the woman explains. “I would advise you to take the opportunity
now, Jungkook, because it might take months to have another bed available…”
“I…” he stops, looking at his boyfriend. “What do you think?”
“It’s your decision, baby.” Taehyung tells him with a reassuring smile. “I’ll support you.”
“Oh, you two are a couple! That’s lovely.”
“Yeah, we are…” Jungkook tries to smile, but his hand is still shaking between Taehyung’s. “I
think— I think that I should take the opportunity, because I don’t want to wait months. I don’t
know if I’ll have the same courage in a few months.” he decides. “I can come in tomorrow…”
“That’s very good to hear.” she stands up, walking over to a stack of drawers. “I’ll grab the papers
that you must sign, and we’ll take care of everything for your admission tomorrow.”
Taehyung leans closer, kissing his shoulder over his shirt. “I’m so, so proud of you…”
│►
“Take a seat.” Seojoon instructs as he sits down on his own chair. “What did you want to talk to me
about? I was a little surprised when you asked to meet me after asking for today off… Is
everything ok?” his boss asks, and he sighs, unsure of how to even word it.
“I’m going to be straight-up honest with you, so that there are no misunderstandings or things left
to be said. I’ve been dealing with alcoholism for a very long decade and, yesterday, my boyfriend
and I had a long conversation that led me to admit and acknowledge that I need professional help.”
Jungkook starts, keeping their eyes connected. “I asked for today off so that I could go visit a
rehabilitation center with him, and I signed the papers. I’m, uhm, I’m going to be admitted
tomorrow, hence me being here to tell you that I need to quit the job.”
“Oh.” Seojoon blinks, surprised. “You want to quit the job?”
“I love working here. People are nice, my coworkers are amazing, and you’re the best boss,
seriously, but I’m going to stay there for three months, so everything here on the outside will have
to be put on hold. I don’t want to quit, but I have to.”
His boss looks around, taking a moment to process it. “This is a big shock, a big surprise. I had
absolutely no idea that you were going through such a hard time. You’re an amazing worker,
you’ve never missed a shift or arrived late despite your classes, all of my employees like you a lot
and, when you’re not here, regular customers ask about you. You’re clearly doing something right
here, so I would be insane to let you go. I wish you all the best with this process, but I also want
you to know that the door will be open for when you return.
Jungkook gapes like a fish out of water. “What— What do you mean…?”
“I mean that, once you return, you can come back to work.” Seojoon smiles. “That, if you want to,
of course. We’ll hire someone to replace you, but under the condition that their contract will be
terminated once you’re fitted to return.”
“Shit, thank you so much—? I want to come back, of course. I didn’t think that this would ever be
an option, but I’m taking it. No questions asked. I don’t even know what to say.” Jungkook grins,
unable to find the right words. “Thank you so much, seriously.”
“You don’t have to thank me, Jungkook. Just give me a hug, and go enjoy the rest of your day, as
it will be the last free day that you’ll have in a while.” Seojoon gives him a warm smile as they
both stand up, and Jungkook does give him a short-lived hug; his boss pats his back a few times for
good measure. “I wish you all the luck and success to get through this process.”
“Thank you so much, Seojoon. For everything, seriously.” Jungkook bows, his hand already on the
door handle to leave the small office; he wants to spend as much time with Taehyung as possible.
“I’ll miss this place a lot.” he says as he opens the door.
“And we’ll miss you, too.” his boss assures with a smile, and Jungkook’s next words get stuck in
his throat when he sees Eunjae standing right there with the saddest frown that he’s ever seen on
her face. It doesn’t look like she was eavesdropping, clearly just passing by, so he can’t find it in
himself to be annoyed at her. “I fear that you have a sad conversation ahead of you.”
“Thank you, again.” Jungkook still says, offering the man a little smile before closing the door and
facing his coworker. He doesn’t speak, doesn’t know what to say first, so he just waits.
“Where are you going…? Did you quit?” Eunjae asks, eyes welling up. “Look, if you quit the job
because of me, then I’ll leave. You need this more than I do, you have studies and your own place
and— and groceries to pay. I’ll go, you don’t have to—”
“It’s not because of you.” Jungkook sighs. “And if it was, you were here before me.”
“Then where are you going…?” she takes a step closer. “Why— What’s happening…?”
“Tae found out about me drinking, and I’m going to leave for three months to stay in a
rehabilitation center.” Eunjae opens her mouth, but Jungkook quickly holds a hand up, stopping
her. “I didn’t tell you this for you to comment on it. I’m just letting you know so that you don’t
blame yourself during my absence, I don’t want your opinions anymore.”
“I-I was just going to tell you that I’ll m-miss you a lot…” Eunjae whispers, sniffing to try and
keep her tears in her eyes. “You’re my best friend, my only real friend, and I don’t care that we’re
in a fight and that you hate me now. I still love you, and I’m going to miss you a lot. You’re like
the big brother that I never had, and—” she gulps. “Please, if there’s any sort of visitors’ list, I
would like it if you added my name to it, as I’d like to be able to visit you…”
“I don’t hate you, Jae. You kept me sane in times that I wasn’t, you helped me many times, and
you’re one of the main reasons why I was even able to gather the courage to confess my feelings
for Tae. You’ve done a lot of me.” Jungkook takes a moment, unsure of how to word himself. “I
love you, too, I just— I have a lot of trust issues, and you fucked with that. Tae says that time
heals, and he’s been proving to me how that can be true, so… so maybe being away in rehab will
help fix this, as well.” he gestures between them. “You’re already on the list. If you ever need a
friend, I’ll be in that prison.”
“You’re going back there, huh?” it takes him two seconds too long to understand her joke and,
when he does, he has to look away not to crack a smile of his own.
“You’re on thin ice, Eunjae.” Jungkook warns, but there’s no malice in his voice, and he so clearly
isn’t bothered by the joke; she still frowns. “You’re lucky that I love you.” he adds.
“You’re so kind…” she teases. “I’ll make you some coffee, it’s on the house.”
“How thoughtful of you. Please, add some caramel syrup to it. Not too much, though, you know
that I don’t like my coffee sweet.” Jungkook requests, but quickly changes his mind. “Actually, just
make it black. I don’t have much time to stay here.”
“Yeah, that sounds more like you… But, uhm, do I get to give you a hug as a goodbye? I know that
you’re angry, but I really want to give you a tight hug.”
“You can, maybe, get a pat in the b—” he’s interrupted by her arms circling around his middle and,
contrary to his words, he hugs back; her head rests comfortably against his strong chest due to their
height difference, and she thoroughly enjoys that.
“Come here…” the hug is only broken when the young woman pulls away and lifts herself up on
the tips of her toes, pulling his head down to kiss him on the forehead multiple times.
“Stop—” the elder tries to fight it. “Jae— Stop, my God, enough.” he whines.
She still gives him a last, longer kiss before pulling back. “Good luck out there.”
“I’m going to rehab, not to war.” Jungkook frowns. “Just get me that coffee, please. I’ve been
stressed like a motherfucker this whole morning, I really need the caffeine…”
“Was Taehyung mad…?” Eunjae asks, spinning on her heels to go to the espresso machine.
Jungkook follows, even if outside of the counter. “He was angry to some extent, but he also wasn’t.
He was more worried than anything, if I’m being honest. With time and experience, we’ve learned
to have good communication, so we just sat down and talked about it. I can’t say that I wasn’t
fucking terrified, but I needed the push, I needed this to happen.” he sighs. “If he hadn’t found out
and pushed me to seek help, I never would’ve been strong enough to do it on my own.” he explains
as his — former — coworker prepares his order.
“Do you think that you two will survive this?” he can feel his heart stop. “Wait, not like that. I
know that you’ll be more than ok in the end, you two love each other to bits. I meant it as in, will
you survive being away from each other without perishing with sadness and longing?”
“I’m going to miss him like crazy. How am I even meant to sleep without him…?”
“I’m sure that their beds are comfortable.” Eunjae smiles, and he just rolls his eyes; no one knows
about his nightmares, so it’s no surprise that she didn’t take it seriously. “Do you think that you
can sit down for a second?” she asks as she faces him with his mug. “I want to talk.”
“Sure.” Jungkook nods, taking the mug before following her to one of the vacant tables.
Eunjae clears her throat, preparing herself for what she’s about to explain. “A year ago, more or
less, I was talking to a girl, and we were getting closer, and flirting all the time, and… well, we got
to that stage where you’re dating, but you don’t really have that label yet.” she starts. “One day, I
got kissed by someone else. I got kissed by a boy, two years younger… I think that he was in his
first year of high-school, but whatever, that doesn’t matter. He was shorter, younger.”
“Jae…”
“Please, let me finish.” Jungkook only nods. “She didn’t believe me when I told her that I didn’t
want the kiss, even though people watched it happen, and she did, too. She watched him grab me
and kiss me, but she kept arguing the fact that he was younger, shorter, and I could’ve pushed him
away, when I couldn’t.” she sighs. “When you told me about what happened, it was like I was
there again, in that situation, and the anger and frustration that I felt for being blamed, was wrongly
thrown at you, and I’m fucking sorry for that, Kook. I thought, if him being shorter and younger
than me meant that I could’ve avoided it, then fuck, you could’ve, too.”
“I really couldn’t have avoided it, though…”
“I know. I know that. and you’re so fucking in love with Tae, that it sounds like a joke to even
insinuate that you’d ever kiss someone else.” Eunjae sniffs. “I hate what I told you, I hate the way
that I spoke to you. What I said deserves no forgiveness, but I love you, and you’re my best friend
so, even if I don’t deserve it, I ask you to try to forgive me one d— Fuck, my God, I’m going to
cry.” she has to look up, waving her hands in front of her eyes. “I’m so sorry, Jungkook. Truly.”
“Don’t cry, it’s ok.” Jungkook reaches for her hand. “I was really hurt and angry, and I may have
been a little rude to you, some of them I even mean, just not as harshly, but… but knowing what
caused it makes me understand your reaction. I’m not mad, and you’re forgiven.”
“Am I actually?” he just nods, taking a sip from his coffee. “Thank you. Thank you, Kook. I’ve
been crying myself to sleep for the past few days, fucking hating myself. I’ve missed you so much,
and now you’re going to be away from me for who knows how long…” she gets up, pulling him
by the hand to do the same thing so that they can hug again, and he just lets it happen.
“I’m going to miss you, too.” Jungkook whispers. They hug for an entire minute, Eunjae just about
refusing to let go of him, so he physically has to remove her. “I have to get going. I still want to
visit my best friends to tell them about this, and I have to go home to pack for tomorrow… I also
want to be able to spend as long as possible with Tae.”
“Hm, that sounds like code for fucking.”
“I want to cry my eyes out just thinking about being three months away from him, do you really
think that I can even get my dick up?” Eunjae laughs, hugging him one last time. “Let go of me
already, I have to go.” but she just squeezes him tighter. “Jesus— I can’t breathe—”
“I’ll miss you so much.” Eunjae states. “But, alright, I’ll let you go.” she finally releases him from
her death-grip, and he inhales sharply. “Text me before you get admitted so that I know that you’re
already there… I don’t know if you’ll be able to text and call, so keep me updated.”
“I will.” Jungkook nods. “Come here.” he kisses her forehead, both smiling. “Behave, ok? Take
care of yourself, and be responsible. If you need anything, you know that you can call Tae. And
make sure that you visit me.”
“You can be fucking sure that I will.”
│►
“Hey, Kooks.” Seokjin greets. “What was so urgent that we had to come rushing here?” he asks as
he sits down on Jungkook’s couch, right next to Yoongi. “I’m pretty sure that I got myself a
speeding ticket on the way here…”
“I have to tell you guys something.” Jungkook informs, standing in front of them. “I got drunk two
days ago. I’ve never stopped drinking even though I told you and Tae that I did, so him finding out
caused a small fight between us because of me lying to him. I also, uhm, I didn’t act the best way
when I was drunk. I broke a bottle, and I was a little loud, and… and I ended up scaring Tae.” they
can see the embarrassment in his eyes, hear it in his voice.
“Kooks…”
“No, let me finish.” he has to ask, or he might not be able to finish. “He told me that he didn’t want
to be with me knowing that it could happen again.” their eyes widen almost comically, jaws
slacking. “Basically, he gave me the options to either go to rehab, or for us to continue as friends,
and nothing more.” his friends share a look, concerned.
“Please, tell me that you’re going to rehab.”
“You wouldn’t— You wouldn’t break up, right? Please, tell me that you didn’t.”
“Some time ago, I asked Tae to make the decision for me if he thought that there was no other
choice. I told him that if he thought that there was no other way, then that it was for him to make
me go to rehab… and he did. And I am going. I leave tomorrow.” he smiles; it’s a tiny smile, but
he does feel proud of himself. “He wouldn’t want to be with me otherwise, knowing that I could
get drunk again, scare him again. I can’t possibly let that happen again, either. I don’t want to scare
him, nor do I want to lose him. I’m going not only for him, but also for myself, because he’s made
it possible for me to admit that I need help.”
“Then, uh, it wasn’t exactly your decision.” Seokjin points out, a little unsure of how to word
himself. “He knows that you wouldn’t want to break up, so didn’t he… I don’t know, push you?”
“You don’t know Tae.” Jungkook shakes his head. “He’s been through shit with Sik, so I
completely understand why he wouldn’t want to be with me if there was the slightest possibility of
me ever getting— violent, if that’s the right word to use. He’d rather just be my friend than ever be
scared of me, and he knows me better than anyone else, so he also knew that I needed something to
push me enough. This ultimatum was the reality-check and the push that I needed to be able to
acknowledge and admit that I need help.”
“We’re proud of you.” Yoongi says as he stands up. “Rehab will be the best thing that you’ll ever
do to yourself, and you’ll get out of there a changed man. Your life will only be better and brighter
from then on, I just know it. We’ll visit you, we’ll support you, and we’re really proud.”
Jungkook smiles, a little awkward. “Thank you, guys…” he sighs. “I’m scared, you know. I had to
quit my job and put college on hold, and I’m going to be away from Tae, Moon, and you guys, and
it’s fucking terrifying.” he admits, almost shy.
“I’d be surprised if you weren’t scared.” Seokjin pats his shoulder, squeezing it. “You’ll have the
best support system through it all, that I can assure you of. You have a lot of people on your side,
and we will all be supporting you, and rooting for you. You’ll get through it, and you’ll be able to
quit that awful addiction… and you’ll feel amazing once you come back.”
“I just hope that it goes by quickly.”
“Come here.” Yoongi pulls him into a hug that is joined by Seokjin right away. Jungkook laughs,
sandwiched between the two men. “We’re here for you, and I’ll be fast. I’m sure of it.”
“I’m going to say something that I know that I’ll regret right after, but… I love you, guys.” he says,
only to be proven correct; he does regret it when they start making awed noises. “Right, let’s just
act like I didn’t say anything at all, and—”
“We love you, too, Kooks.”
│►
“I think that this is all.” Jungkook says as he adds three more books in his gym bag. “I don’t have
to take clothes with me, so… I think that this should be it.” he looks over at his boyfriend who’s
sitting prettily on the bed, watching him.
“Did you pack your phone charger? Your earbuds? That half-eaten picture of your mom and your
sister?” Jungkook nods. “Hm… Your cologne? One of Moon’s toys? Oh, do you have your moon
necklace? I’d like you to have it while you’re there…”
“My love, I always have it on me.” Jungkook assures, pulling it from under his shirt. It was the gift
that he received for Christmas from Taehyung, and he can’t ever leave the house without it around
his neck. “I don’t think that I need anything else, given that they provide the rest.” he zips the bag,
leaving it by the bedroom door. “I’m going to fucking cry, I can’t believe that this is happening
right now. I don’t even know if they’re happy or scared tears.”
“Come here.” Taehyung opens his arms, inviting him for a hug, only to yelp when his boyfriend
lets go of his own weight on top of him and, consequently, makes them fall backwards onto the
mattress. “I know that you’re just a big baby, but you’re really heavy.” he almost squeals.
Jungkook pouts, rolling to his side and so they lay there facing each other. “I’m terrified just
thinking about the nights that I’ll spend there.” he whispers, lovingly staring into Taehyung’s eyes
as the aforementioned threads his fingers through his black hair. “I don’t know how I’m meant to
sleep without you, when I can’t turn to alcohol, either.”
“I know that it’s nowhere the same thing, but…” the blonde pulls away, grabbing one of the
picture frames on Jungkook’s bedside table: it’s a picture of him that Jungkook took one day, and
that Taehyung still doesn’t see the appeal of. He’s wearing pajamas, and his hair is a mess, yet
Jungkook liked it so much that he got it printed and framed.
He takes the picture, carefully placing it in the gym bag in a position that, hopefully, won’t let it
get folded. Jungkook sits up. “All that I’m going to get for three months… is a picture.” he
whispers, heart sinking to his stomach. The thought of being away from Taehyung is the scariest
part of it all, and he wants to give up just imagining it.
“I’m so sorry, hyung.” Taehyung walks back to the bed, gently lifting his boyfriend’s head up by
the chin. He runs both of his hands through his hair before they both settle on cupping his cheeks.
“I’ll visit you, so you’ll have more of me than the picture. I wish t—”
“I’ve never craved a drink this hard in my life.” Jungkook admits, closing his eyes. “I really just
want to down an entire fucking bottle. I’m so scared, Tae.” he whispers as he lifts his own hands to
rest atop Taehyung’s. “Getting drunk would be a gift right now. Fuck.”
“I’d let you have a last taste, but I threw everything out.” Taehyung pouts. “I can go outs—”
“No, no way. I don’t want to waste a single second that I can spend with you today.” he quickly
holds his younger boyfriend by the waist. “Don’t frown, either, or I might really start crying.”
“Baby, you’ve been crying ever since I packed the picture…” Taehyung points out with a quiet
giggle as he makes it his mission to carefully dab away the unshed tears under Jungkook’s eyes.
“Oh, these?” he points at himself. “These are fucking normal by now. I’m talking about trembling
hands, runny nose, choking noises kind of crying. The ugly crying.”
Taehyung hisses. “That’s the worst kind.”
“Exactly.” Jungkook nods.
Taehyung’s entertained smile is slowly replaced by a sad look; he won’t have Jungkook to make
him laugh with the silliest things, won’t have his kisses and his arms whenever he wants them,
won’t have him there at night. “I’m going to miss you so much…” he whines, circling his
boyfriend’s shoulders, and being the one to make them fall back onto the mattress. “Promise to call
me every single day, hyung.”
“Promise to visit me every week.” Jungkook requests.
“Promise that you’re going to try to enjoy your time there as much as possible.” Taehyung kisses
his jaw, sitting up and, therefore, straddling Jungkook’s lap. That grants him a pair of hands on the
sides of his thighs, holding him.
“Promise that you won’t find some rich dude to replace me.”
“Prom— What?” he blinks, catching on to the words said. “Hyung, don’t even joke about that, I
don’t want you to let demons in your head. No one is ever going to be you, so no one could ever
replace you. I’m going to love you the exact same way, or more, when you come back to me.”
“Do you promise?”
“I’m in love with you, Jungkook. You’re irreplaceable in my life.”
Jungkook closes his eyes when he’s assured with a kiss. “I’m going to miss you so much.”
“I’m going to sleep with your hoodies every single night…” Taehyung states, eyes welling up as he
scrambles to lie down again. “C-Can you hold me tight for a while? I want to remember the feeling
of your arms around me for a long time so that I can fall asleep…”
“Oh, love, come here.” Jungkook sniffs, quickly holding his boyfriend, their legs intertwined. “I
love you, yeah?” he whispers, pressing a kiss to Taehyung’s soft neck. “I’ll fall asleep looking at
your picture every night.” he nuzzles against his neck before kissing it again. “I really hope that it
doesn’t feel as incarcerating as prison… I hope that it feels home-like.”
“I’m very sure that it will be a nicer place than prison.” Taehyung frowns. “You’ll have fun
activities to do there, and to keep yourself busy. I’m sure that, at the very least, it’ll be more
comfortable than prison, hyungie. You’ll like it there…”
“I just don’t know what to expect.” Jungkook sighs. “If the mattress isn’t as hard as a rock, then it’s
already more comfortable than prison.” he shifts, pulling Taehyung even closer as he tries to find
any positive aspects to look forward to. “I just hope that they won’t try to kill me in my sleep with a
pillow for having loud nightmares.”
Taehyung blinks. “That— That happened to you?”
“I don’t want to tell you about these things, they’re just too dark for your ears.” Jungkook sighs,
caressing his boyfriend’s cheek. “I’m scared that I might not be able to make it through the nights
if my nightmares come back. I can’t deal with them for three months, Tae…”
“We can only hope that they won’t come back.” Taehyung rests his forehead against Jungkook’s,
both breathing in. “If they do… we’ll figure it out, I promise. I love you so much, hyungie, and
you’ll be ok. Everything will be ok.” he reassures. “Now, please, kiss me… I can’t believe that I’ll
be without your kisses for so long. I need a great amount today.”
“I love you, too. So much.” Jungkook pulls back enough to place his hand on Taehyung’s jaw,
joining their lips in a kiss that, despite being slow, still makes their tongues touch, and their eyes
close. “Don’t ever let yourself question that while I’m away, ok? Promise me that you’ll never
question my love for you, or your worth, even if I won’t be here to make those clear every day.”
“I won’t.” Taehyung promises, pecking his lips two more times. “I’ll miss you… I’m going to have
to start my own breakfast, how upsetting is that?” he tries to joke to lighten the mood, and that
does make them both giggle through their tears.
“I’m going to have a damn roommate, that’ll certainly be worse than cooking.”
Taehyung pouts. “Should I sign up for rehab to be there with you?”
Jungkook laughs. “Fuck, yes, that would be perfect.” he nods, threading his fingers through the
blonde bangs to push them away so that he can kiss Taehyung’s forehead. “I don’t want to sleep
tonight to spend each second with you… and enjoying our last moments together.”
“We can definitely try to pull an all-nighter.” Taehyung whispers as he inches closer for a kiss.
“Come here…”
│►
Chapter End Notes
Q. How do you think rehab is going to go?

◄│ 69 │►
Chapter Notes
So,,, 300k words
“Hey, guys.” Taehyung greets the two men with a hug and a smile. “Come on in.” he steps aside to
let them into the apartment. “Kook just went to the bathroom, but he’ll be here to join us in a
second.” they both greet Moon as they walk in, making sure to make their voices as high as they
possibly can, which makes her tail wag from side to side.
Taehyung guides them to the kitchen where breakfast is already waiting. “We wanted to thank you
for helping him realize that he needed this… We understand that it was, most definitely, a very
hard thing to come to terms with, and that’s why it even took him so many years to acknowledge
his problem.” Yoongi says, voice low. “We want to thank you for showing him that it’s ok to need
help, for helping him, for staying by his side… Just, really, thank you.”
“Yeah, we watched him struggle with this for a long time without even admitting that there was a
struggle that had to be fought… and we watched him grow and change for the better ever since he
met you. He’s so much happier now than he was before you came into the picture, you have no
idea.” Seokjin adds. “He told us about him scaring you, and he feels… horrible.”
“I know, he’s apologized more times than I could count. I feel almost guilty for having felt scared,
because I hate that he’s beating himself up so hard, but— but from my side, it’s just as freaking
horrible. Being scared of someone that you love, even if for a single second, is the worst feeling in
the world, and I’d rather break up with him than to ever let him ruin the image that I have of him
now, which is that he’s the kindest person, the best boyfriend…” Taehyung sighs. “I’m thankful
that he understood that it’s the best for him, and I just hope that he enjoys it there.”
Yoongi opens his mouth to speak, but closes it again as they hear the bathroom door opening, and
steps coming closer. “Oh, you’re here already.” Jungkook smiles. “Good morning.” his best friends
rush to give him a hug instead of the usual verbal, simple greeting. Yoongi even goes as far as
messing his hair up, aware of how much Jungkook hates it when people touch it.
Well, people except for Taehyung.
“How are you feeling?” Seokjin asks, grabbing a piece of toast as they all stand around the table
instead of sitting down. Jungkook’s hand is set on Taehyung’s waist, keeping him as close as
possible, his thumb caressing it even if over the shirt.
“I’m scared, but… I don’t know, it feels nice, even relieving. It’s really good knowing that I’m
going to be putting all of this behind me. I’m so ready to get out of this hole…” he says, and he
feels the way that Taehyung’s staring at him: lovestruck, and with a smile, so he meets his eyes.
“All thanks to you…” Jungkook adds in a faint whisper.
“Give yourself some credit, baby.” Taehyung whispers back, both humming as Jungkook presses
their lips together. The kiss could be much longer, but they pull apart as soon as their friends start
with the comments, not at all shy.
“Should we leave…?” Yoongi is the first to tease.
Seokjin adds to it right away, “I think so, these two don’t have a room.”
Taehyung hides in the crook of his boyfriend’s neck, and Jungkook cackles, circling his torso with
his arms. “Shut it.” he pulls him closer, protectively. “Don’t be crude, you’re making him blush.”
“You’re such a traitor.” Taehyung pulls back, and the other two laugh as Jungkook chases after
him to keep him in his arms. “You know that I only blush harder when you point it out.”
“And why do you think that I do it?” he grins. “You look really cute w—”
“Can we focus on breakfast instead of actively making us feel single?” Seokjin interrupts, and they
both pull away to face them. “Yoongi and I wanted to tell you a few things, Kooks.”
“Okay, go on.” Jungkook instructs, hugging Taehyung from the back with his chin prompted on
the blonde’s shoulder. Taehyung just places his hands over Jungkook’s forearms around his own
stomach, dragging his nails back and forth ever so slowly.
“We want to tell you that we’ll miss you a lot, and that we’re insanely proud of you, and that you’ll
do amazing there. We want news every now and then, and we’ll make sure to visit you every time
that we’ll be able to.” Yoongi starts, looking down at his hands. “We know that it will be hard for
you at the start, and it’s normal that you’re scared, but you have all of us over here supporting you,
ok? This is necessary, and just— call us, man. Call us if you need anything.”
“I will.” Jungkook squeezes Taehyung’s hip before he lets go, walking towards his best friends and
inviting the both for a hug; a tight hug. “Thank you, guys.”
“It’s nothing, Kooks…” Seokjin sounds a little choked up, so he has to pull away. “We should get
going before I start crying. We’ll drive you two there, and then drive Taehyung back home.”
“Thank you. I could drive him, but I don’t know how fitted for it I’ll be after dropping him off…”
“We understand, and we really don’t mind, because we also appreciate the fact that we’ll be able to
be there to say goodbye.” Yoongi smiles. “Let’s just go before you’re late.” breakfast long
forgotten, they separate to grab their things, and Taehyung jogs to their bedroom to get his phone
and keys.
Jungkook has Moon on his lap by the time that he gets back, holding her in some sort of hug that
has her looking around confused, but her fluffy tail still wags from side to side. “I’ll miss you lots,
baby, but Tae will take very good care of you.” he kisses her head multiple times, Moon starting to
debate in his arms to be put back down on the floor.
He makes sure to pet the cat as well, before grabbing his gym bag to throw it over his own
shoulder. “Let’s get going.” Taehyung reaches for his hand. “We may catch traffic…”
│►
“…and all the way down this hall, there are many smaller rooms where the multiple activities will
take place. That wing holds mostly the therapeutic ones, whereas the one to the left has more…
interactive ones, for example, our very own little gymnasium, and all of that.” Jungkook's eyes scan
the place, trying to absorb every piece of information given by the man showing them around the
facility. His hand is still tightly holding onto Taehyung’s, their fingers intertwined, seeking the
support that he always finds in his boyfriend. “The canteen, laundry room, and visitation rooms can
be found at the end of the very same hallway that we’re walking on.”
Everything is white: the walls, the doors, the chairs, everything. There are a lot of plants, however,
and they bring a good pop of color that ties the whole thing together, and makes it look more
homely. It reminds him of Taehyung’s office.
They enter a large room, the largest that they’ve seen so far, and Jungkook counts about ten people
there. They’re all dressed the same way, in some sort of uniform that consists of light grey pants
and a slightly darker tee shirt. He figures that it could be worse, but he’d rather be wearing black
instead. It wouldn’t fit the light and relaxing aesthetic, he supposes.
The windows are all and the natural light comes in beautifully from the backyard, the grass outside
a vivid, healthy shade of green. It’s a good environment, and everyone there seems entertained,
which is a good sign. Some are playing board games, others reading; he can even see one of them
drawing something on a paper sheet on one of the white tables.
“Here is the lounge room, you could say. Right now, most people are doing activities or in their
bedrooms, or just outside enjoying the sun.” the man guiding them stops walking, turning to face
them with a large smile. “I will take you to your room after you’re done meeting the director, and I
can also give you a more in-depth tour once you part ways with your friend.”
“My boyfriend, actually.” Jungkook corrects right away and, despite it being such a small gesture,
it warms Taehyung’s chest; makes him smile. Jungkook never hesitates before letting people know
that they’re together, never thinks twice before introducing him.
“Oh, I apologize.” the worker quickly says. “I didn’t want to assume that you’re dating just
because you were holding hands… it could lead to an awkward moment.”
“Don’t worry, it’s ok.” Taehyung assures. “And… uhm, it’s time, isn’t it?” he whispers as he turns
to his boyfriend, and Jungkook’s breath hitches as he faces him back. The staff member takes a few
steps back, giving them some privacy to say their goodbyes. “Hyungie…”
“Don’t do that, don’t tear up.” Jungkook warns, pulling him by the shoulders into a bone-crushing
hug that Taehyung immediately melts into, hiding his face in the crook of the elder’s neck. “I’m
going to miss you so, so much, Tae.” he whispers, voice breaking.
Taehyung squeezes his eyes tight in a futile attempt to keep his tears from falling. “I’ll miss you,
too.” he sniffs. “I’ll miss you so much, hyung.” his voice breaks as a stubborn tear rolls down his
cheek. “God, I’m going to make you late.” he chuckles humorlessly, pulling away from the hug.
Jungkook cups both sides of his jaw right away, wiping away his tears. “My love, my chest hurts
seeing you cry.” he tries to smile, his own eyes shiny. “We promised no tears… and we don’t lie to
each other, right?” Taehyung sniffs again, but nods. “You’re too beautiful to cry, c’mon.”
“You’re crying, too.” Taehyung still accuses, trying to step away, but his feet feel as though they
were glued to the floor beneath them. “I can’t go, I can’t leave you, God. I can’t.” he stresses.
“I truly don’t want to interrupt your moment, because you should be able to have all the time in the
world to say your goodbyes, but your meeting with the director is due in just a few minutes…” the
staff member informs, and so they’re forced to step away from each other.
“Right, right… Okay…” Taehyung nods, kissing Jungkook’s forehead about twenty times as the
latter’s hands fall on his hips, pulling him closer again. Taehyung then settles for a proper kiss on
his lips; it’s short-lived, but it’s slow, passionate and followed by a series of multiple pecks before
the blonde kisses his cheek, his forehead again, and pulls away. “I’ll go now, hyung.” he informs.
“I love you so much, and I’ll miss you lots.”
“I love you, too, baby.” Jungkook tries to smile as the blonde takes slow steps away, their hands
still refusing to let go of each other’s until the very last second, until they’re out of reach and
distance forces their fingers to disconnect.
Taehyung bows to the polite worker, and walks away without looking back — he knows himself
well enough to know that, if he had looked back, he would’ve run back to his boyfriend’s arms.
Jungkook looks up at the ceiling once the blonde is completely out of sighs, two thick tears rolling
down his cheeks. He was trying to be strong, trying to be the collected one so that their morning
wouldn’t be spent crying, but he can’t hold in any longer. He can cry now.
“Goodbyes are always the hardest part.” he looks back to the man when he speaks. “Can I explain
how we’ll be doing this, or do you need a moment?”
“No, you can go on.” Jungkook sniffs, wiping his tears away. “Go on, it will distract me. This will
stop, just go on, please.” he urges, waving his hands in front of his eyes for a moment, desperately
trying to hold it all in before tears turn into a panic attack of some sort.
“It’s ok, you can cry as much as you need. This place is completely judgment-free.” it’s said with a
smile that Jungkook can’t really mirror, but it’s reassuring. “I will show you to your room and give
you some clothes for the week, and I’ll let you change into them before your meeting with the
director. Does that sound ok to you?”
“Yeah, sure.” Jungkook nods. “I mean, it’s ok.”
“Do you prefer sweatpants or pants?”
“Sweatpants, please… Also, if my shirt could be a size or two larger than what my files say, I’d be
very thankful.” he wants to feel comfortable there, at home.
“Of course.” the male nods, gesturing for Jungkook to follow. He doesn’t really know what to
expect from his room, and he’s not even sure if he’ll have to share it or not; maybe he’ll be lucky
enough to land a room with an empty bed, no occupant. “Everyone here receives four pairs of
shirts and pants, and a hooded jacket. You’ll also get two sets of pajamas, and you can request your
hygiene products and underwear whenever and if you need more.”
“Alright, that sounds ok.” Jungkook tries to sound enthusiastic, but his voice barely comes out of
his throat, too choked up with his emotions. The image of Taehyung walking away is all that he
can think about, and he knows that he won’t be forgetting it in the near future.
“I hope that I’m not overwhelming you with information, things such as how laundry works and all
of that will be explained to you eventually. I think that getting here is already too much, so
listening to everything at once is bound to be unbearable.” and Jungkook has to sigh because, yes,
it’s a little too much, but he’s strong, so he just gives him a dismissive wave of the hand.
“You’re doing great, it’s fine.” the staff member smiles.
“So, here’s the wing of all of the bedrooms…”
│►
Jungkook fixes his shirt and jacket down, unsure if he should even be wearing it. It’s not cold, but
it gives him a weird feeling of comfort that he appreciates. He knocks on the door, and there’s a
faint indicator for him to go in, so he does.
“Hi.” the woman greets, opening a big welcoming smile as she stands up. “Please, come in, and
take a seat, Mr. Jeon.” she instructs, pointing at the chair in front of her. Jungkook nods, a little
hesitantly, and closes the door behind himself before striding over to sit down. “How are you
feeling?” she starts by asking, all the while closing a few files and setting them aside for now.
“Uhm, I don’t know.” Jungkook decides to be honest. “I feel like I’m doing the right thing, but I’m
also scared and extremely sad because I had to say goodbye to my lover…”
“I understand that. I hope that it gets better with time, because you’re indeed doing the right thing
for yourself. You should be proud of that.” she points, dragging herself away with the rolling-chair
to get him a glass of water. “Here you go…”
“Thank you.” he whispers, taking a sip from the water.
“I’m going to go through some of the things that I want you to know before beginning your stay,
and we can see whether you have any questions or not, is that ok?” Jungkook only nods. “So, let’s
start with your mobile phone. Those must be turned off before breakfast, and there’s a room where
we keep them all safe, so that you can get it again after dinner.”
Jungkook blinks. He wasn’t aware of that. “I, uhm, okay… but why?”
“To bore you, actually. Without your phones, the probability of you deciding to join in with our
activities is much higher and that’s exactly what we want, and what helps make this experience a
success for you.” she explains, and it makes a lot of sense.
He’d much rather sit somewhere talking to his boyfriend the whole day than join the group
activities, so he guesses that there’s a solid point in keeping their phones away.
“Nothing is mandatory here, but everyone ends up giving in to the activities. The ones that refuse
to join them, end up changing their mind after two or three days due to boredom.” the lady shares
with a smile. “There are a few for you to pick from, and they’re always available. You can walk in
and walk out whenever you feel like it, except during meals, and they close at ten.”
“Oh, I thought that we’d have to be in bed early.” he can feel his shoulders sag with something
close to relief; he’s never been the one to fall asleep early.
“We don’t want you guys to hate us. You can only stay out of your rooms until eleven, but no one
will control whether you’re asleep or not once you go in. As long as you get up when you have to,
eight in the morning sharp, then your sleep schedule is up to you.” she explains. “Now, would you
like to hear about some of our offered activities?”
“Yeah.” Jungkook nods, genuinely curious about that part.
“We have many of them, and each has its own room. As for example, art therapy, we have writing
therapy, there’s a gym, a library; you have rooms for yoga and meditation, there’s a pool and
massive backyard if you want to run or catch some sun…” she lists them off on her fingers, trying
to remember everything. “The lounge, the television room, our kitchen is always available if you
want to help the ladies prepare the meals… the workers in the laundry room will allow you to take
care of your own clothes, and also help them if you wish to… You can help the gardeners, you can
help the cleaners, they’re all very open and welcoming.”
“Oh, that’s actually way more than what I thought would be available.” Jungkook comments, and
he’s starting to understand why the price is so high. It seems worth it so far. “That doesn’t sound
bad at all.” there are plenty of things to help him pass the time.
“It’s a good deal, indeed.” she nods, pushing her glasses further up the bridge of her nose. “I also
must mention something very important. During the day, there are always therapists around, and
they’re all ready to sit down with you if you want to talk. There are also nurses, day and night,
available to deal with withdrawals or any other health issue… We hope that you seek them if
necessary. Don’t hide your pain, Jungkook.”
Jungkook just nods. He knows for a fact that he will most definitely not going to talk to a therapist,
because he can just wait until he can see Namjoon again. The thought alone of having to open up
again to a new person isn’t appealing in the slightest.
On the other hand, he’s sure that he’ll need one of those nurses sooner than later. He can already
feel it coming; his body asking him for the drinks that he’s long become dependent on, slowly
feeling the uncomfortable tingle in his stomach that will slowly consume him.
“Oh, and something else that I’m very excited about!” her smile widens. “We have group therapy
once a week, open for whoever wants to join. The ones interested to attend will go and sit in a
circle, and you can talk about whatever you wish to share with the other patients. This week’s
session will take place tonight, so I’d be very happy to know that you joined. Unfortunately, only
about one-fourth of our patients attend…”
“I’ll think about it.” he lies through his teeth with a weak but convincing smile. Sitting down with
complete strangers to talk about his personal life is the last thing that he wants to do.
“Alright, then that seems to be all. I want to welcome you, before anything else, and I wish you an
amazing and successful stay. I truly hope that this works out for you, and that you’ll leave this
place to never return.” the woman speaks a little more seriously this time. “If there’s anything that
you need, any problem or request, you can come to me.”
“Thank you, I will.” the lady gets up, so he rushes to do the same thing; she then offers a hand for
him to shake, and they both bow while shaking hands. “Thank you, again.”
“Everything will get better, Jungkook. I can give you my word on that.”
│►
Jungkook lets out a long sigh once he finally reaches his room after the meeting with the director,
and makes his way to his bed, where he proceeds to lie down with his eyes closed. The room has
another bed across from his, and it’s so tidy that Jungkook would think that it’s unoccupied if it
wasn’t for the clothes and belongings on the shelves on that side of the room.
The room is as white as the rest of the facility: two single beds and two bedside tables with an
alarm-clock and a vase each. The shelves are white, the rugs are white, but the sheets are grey,
which he appreciates. He’s not a big fan of the white.
There’s more than enough space for two people, so he’s not that upset with having to share the
room with someone. As long as his roommate knows how to respect his boundaries and is as tidy
as he appears to be, then it won’t be a problem. Maybe they might even become friends.
He opens his eyes when he hears the water being flushed in their bathroom, and he guesses that it’s
time that he meets his roommate. The door opens soon after. “Oh— Shit, you scared me, man.” the
stranger says, a hand on his chest. “Are you my new roommate?”
“I believe so.” Jungkook shrugs, sitting up. “I’m Jungkook.”
“I’m Jihoon.” he introduces himself with a little smile. “How long will you be staying for?” the
man asks and Jungkook follows him with his eyes as he walks over to his own bed, and sits down.
“Three months.” Jungkook shrugs as though it’s no big deal, but the weight of those words makes
his heart ache in his chest. Ninety long days to go. Well, eighty-nine.
“I see.” Jihoon nods. “How old are you?”
“Twenty-eight. You?”
“Thirty-two.” Jungkook nods, slightly relieved. He’s surrounded daily by people much younger
than him and, for some odd reason, he seems to be a magnet when it comes to attracting people
who have no problem in teasing him. Age jokes won’t be happening, and he’s glad.
Jungkook deems the conversation as finished, and proceeds to unzip his bag and get his books and
the few things that he packed, placing all of them on the shelves. The last thing that he gets from
his bag is the picture that he took of his boyfriend, and it makes him pause to stare at it.
He remembers taking that picture, and how hard Taehyung insisted that he didn’t look good when,
in Jungkook’s eyes, he looks breathtakingly beautiful. His messy blonde hair, the pajama shirt
coming undone from shifting in his sleep, that sleepy smile and puffy cheeks. Just looking at the
picture makes him want to cry.
Instead, he smiles, running his finger over Taehyung’s cheek, and it feels weird. It’s been two
hours, maybe even less, and he’s already having Taehyung withdrawals.
“Who’s that?” he looks up when he hears his roommate. “Let me see.” Jihoon peeks.
“It’s—” Jungkook chews on the inside of his cheek, getting lost in the picture again when he looks
down at it. “It’s my boyfriend.” he finally answers the question.
“Oh, that’s cool. He’s handsome.” Jihoon comments, nodding to himself when he’s finally able to
see the picture. Jungkook smiles again, because yes, his boyfriend is gorgeous, handsome,
beautiful, whatever positive adjectives that come to mind. “Anyway, it was nice meeting you, and I
hope that we get along well. I’m going to the backyard for a bit, the sun is nice. Do you want to
come with me? Maybe we can bond a bit, or just enjoy the weather.”
“No, thanks. I’ll be staying here… read a book, and all.” Jungkook puts the idea down as he
carefully places the picture under his pillow. “It was nice meeting you, too.”
“Just a heads up, you’ll get bored quickly if you don’t indulge in the activities. They may sound
stupid, or whatever, but they’re what get us through all of this.” Jihoon says before heading out of
the room, and Jungkook doesn’t get to answer.
He just shrugs, grabbing one of the books. He borrowed them from Taehyung, and he trusts his
boyfriend’s taste, so they’re bound to be good. The bed is comfortable when he rests back on the
pillow, crossing his legs as he focuses on the words.
Despite not wanting to join said activities, he knows that he eventually will, because as much as he
hates the thought of indulging in them, he doesn’t think that he’ll be able to stay in his bedroom
reading books for three months.
│►
“Hey, are you coming to group therapy?” Jihoon peeks into their shared room a couple of hours
later, and Jungkook looks up from his book. There are only about two hours until dinner, and he
can’t say that he’s looking forward to it; will the food be as plain as hospital meals?
“No, not really.” he shrugs, looking back to the story.
Jihoon rolls his eyes. “I’m not taking that answer. You’re coming with me. It’s a really cool
activity, and people don’t appreciate it enough. Put your book down, and come with me.” but he
doesn’t move. “Jungkook, do you want to spend your three months here isolating? It will mess
your head up, it’s no good. We’re already far enough from society.”
Jungkook knows that he’s right. Even if he doesn’t like socializing much, he’s a very social person,
which doesn’t make much sense. He’s used to being around people every day, and he can’t say that
he has a hard time making friends, so isolating himself will only further mess up his already mess
of a head. That’s the only reason why he puts his book aside and grabs his hoodie.
He follows his smiling roommate while putting on said hoodie, and makes sure to put the hood
over his head. Jihoon walks quickly, so they get to the room in no time. Jungkook goes in very
hesitantly. The room is completely white, as expected, and only has a few chairs in the center
making a circle for people to sit down on.
There’s a small wooden podium where the circle is open, and Jungkook can see a little microphone
connected to it. He can’t spot any speakers, so he guesses that they’re probably hidden somewhere.
Either that, or the microphone doesn’t even work.
“Sit.” Jihoon instructs, and he takes the chair right next to his. He looks around, counting exactly
eleven people, already sitting and waiting. He sits there in silence, tuned out of the conversation
that some people are engaged in, even if his roommate joins in.
Five minutes go by, and ten more people join the circle.
“So.” he lifts his head to see a man dressed in regular clothing clasping his hands together to get
their attention. Everyone goes quiet, straightens up. “I’m happy to see new faces, I can tell that new
people have decided to join us today.” the man starts. “I see… one, two, three? Three new faces
here.” Jungkook looks around for a moment. Everyone looks interested. “I know for a fact that
you’ve never been in these hallways before, so you must be new to the facility, not only to these
meetings.” the silence that comes next leads Jungkook to look over at the leader of the group
therapy, realizing that he’s taking to him. “Would you like to start?”
His eyes dart around again; everyone is staring at him. “I, uhm, not really.” he straightens up,
though the hood is still covering his head, and his hands are in his pockets. “I wouldn’t like that.”
“Hm, ok. I’ll just let you know that the ones that refuse to cooperate are always the ones staying
here the longest.” the leader says, eyes already moving away from him, and Jungkook frowns at
the implication, before getting up; he doesn’t want to stay any longer. “Good choice.”
He walks over to the little podium. “I… I have no idea of what I’m supposed to say here.”
“What about telling us your name, first and foremost?”
“Right. I’m Jungkook, and—”
“Hi, Jungkook.” everyone says at the same time.
“—the fuck.” he lets out, startled. So it is like the movies, he concludes.
“Jungkook, we try not to use obscene language when we’re here, if you don’t mind.”
“Shit, ok— I mean, sorry.” he hears a few giggles, and he can see everyone smiling. Everyone,
except the leader that only looks at him with an eyebrow raised. “I mean, I apologize. I curse like a
sailor, so it’s hard for me not to.” he elaborates. “I’ll try not to curse during this.”
“I appreciate that. Go on, tell us your age and what brings you here.”
Jungkook takes a moment to process that suggestion, but then he chuckles with a shake of the head.
“What brings me here?” the leader nods. “This is rehab.” he points out, one hand gesturing around
them. “That clearly means that I’m here because I’m a fuck— I’m sorry, because I’m addicted to
some kind of substance.” he corrects.
“I sense that you’re very angry, and you’re not being a good sport right now. If you’re going to be
rude, I’ll have to ask you to go back to your seat.” the man says, pointing towards his chair.
Jungkook’s shoulders sag. He’s not rude. He’s everything but rude. “I’m not, I just— I don’t get
this.” he admits. “I don’t get why I have to stand here and dump my problems on people.”
“Some people find comfort in group therapy. Listening to other stories, and knowing that their own
struggles are understood by everyone around them can be comforting. It helps you connect with
people that understand you, and it also helps you to freely talk about those things.”
“I… I’m sorry.” Jungkook looks down at the small podium, breathing in. “Right, I’m Jungkook,
and I’m twenty-eight. I’m here because I’m an alcoholic. I’ve been addicted to alcohol for a long
and dark decade because I was homeless at the time, and had nothing else to turn to.”
“What made you come to rehab?” the leader asks, helping him.
“I’m here because my boyfriend and I’s relationship got compromised because of this shi— this
addiction, and I don’t want to lose him.” he finally looks up. “And yes, I’m angry because I’m
putting everything on the outside on hold when I’m not like this by choice. I’m angry because the
only thing that makes me smile and be less miserable every day is my boyfriend, and I won’t get to
see him for a long time. I’m angry because my life has been a mess and, even though I’m doing this
to fix a big issue, I still feel as though I have no idea of what I’m doing. I’m angry because I hate to
be in this position and, lastly, I’m angry because you’re making me stand here, or else it suddenly
means that I’m rude, or that I’ll be here for way longer than necessary.”
He has to stop for a moment to breathe.
“I want to get better, and I want to be a little normal. I’m here for myself, of course, but the main
reason is also my boyfriend, because he deserves someone better than me… he deserves someone
that doesn’t need alcohol to get through the day. I want to be a better boyfriend, a better friend, a
better colleague, a better person, and I have more than enough motivation to get this done in three
months. My stay here won’t be dictated by whether I come to these meetings or not, so I won’t let
you pressure me with unhelpful comments and stupid fucking assumptions when you don’t know
the first thing about me. Thank you.” he steps away from the podium, his hands back in his
pockets.
Everyone is smiling, even the leader, which is confusing. Jungkook just judged his approach, and
was slightly rude towards the end, yet he looks pleased. “Thank you for sharing, Jungkook, that
was very brave.” he claps, and the other patients follow his action. “Who’s next?”
Jungkook sinks in his chair, happy that the attention is shifting to someone else.
“Hey, kid.” he hears from his side, and so he turns to find an older woman leaning closer towards
him. “You did good.” Jungkook must look a little surprised, because she chuckles. “I mean it, I’m
serious. They do that to intimidate new people, and to get them to talk. You did good, you stood
your ground, that was brave of you.”
“Thank you.” Jungkook smiles, his hood hiding the faint blush spreading across his cheeks. He
chews on the inside of his cheek as they both lean back to their seats, and he feels a sudden
happiness filling his chest. He’s doing it. He’s doing something right.
│►
Jungkook sits comfortably on his bed with the phone that he’s finally been able to get back, already
searching for Taehyung’s contact on the list. He has a few texts to answer, but he can get to them
later; calling his boyfriend is far more important to him.
The line only beeps twice before Taehyung picks up. “Hey, my love.” Jungkook greets, getting the
attention of his roommate that looks up from his own phone at how different his voice sounds.
Jungkook doesn’t meet his eyes, too focused on the picture that he’s holding.
“Hi, hyungie.” Taehyung says with an audible smile. “How was today? Are you enjoying it so
far?” he asks, and Jungkook can hear Moon’s little barks in the back, the kind that she only uses
when playing with Simba. He misses them so much already, it’s crazy.
His roommate is still looking at him, admiring how much happier Jungkook looks, and how his
index finger keeps going up and down the picture. “Dude, you’ve been here for six hours.” he
comments, only to get shushed. “Sorry, sorry…”
“Today was alright. We had some… group therapy and, I swear to fucking God, I only stepped a
foot in there because of you.” Jungkook finally answers the question. “It was so stupid.”
“Group therapy is quite good, actually. It’s a safe place for people to listen, people who understand
exactly what you’re going through, and feel related to.” Taehyung says, and Jungkook has to
chuckle at how those words sound so similar to the ones used by the man leading the meeting.
“You might find it comforting, too, at some point. How did it go?”
“I ranted about you, that’s how it went.” he explains, and his smile widens when he hears the
beautiful laugh on the other side. “Then we had dinner which, surprisingly, wasn’t bad, and now
I’m just in my bedroom… talking to you, of course.”
“How often are we allowed to talk? Are there any rules on that…?”
Jungkook frowns without even realizing; he hates the phone’s rule the most thus far. “We only
have access to our phones after dinner, that’s why I’m only calling you now. That fucking sucks.”
“I mean, I’m guessing that it’s so that you leave your room and participate in the activities, as some
people would probably prefer to just spend time on their phones.” Taehyung sighs. “It’s sad that we
can only talk at night, though. I’ll miss your voice.”
“I don’t know if it’s because I’m here and know that I’ll be gone for a while, but I genuinely feel
like I haven’t seen you in so long, and it’s not even been a full day.” Jungkook comments, his tone
significantly quieter. “How am I supposed to be away from you for months…?”
“I have yet to figure out how I’m supposed to handle that, but I’ll let you know if I find any
answers.” Taehyung says with a giggle. “I hope that the night treats you well. You know that you
can call me tonight if you have a nightmare, and I’ll stay with you on the phone…”
“I know, baby, thank you.” Jungkook whispers, worrying at his bottom lip. “Tae, do you think that
it’s bad that we’re like this? I mean, so dependent…?” he asks, and he already hates the ideas that
he’s getting while being alone with his head with nothing to do.
“I don’t think so.” Taehyung sounds genuine when he answers. “It’s mutual, so that already makes
it way more acceptable and healthier than if it were a one-sided thing. Besides, we’ve been dating
for so little, and I believe that it’s normal for couples to be like this at the start, at least. I’m really
not the one to ask about how relationships work, you’re my first healthy and actual happy
relationship, you’re the first person that I feel this way about.”
Jungkook feels butterflies spreading through his chest, flying around his stomach. “And you’re
mine, so I can’t know, either.” he adds. “I was just asking, because I’m really fucking happy like
this, I don’t mind it, but— you know, I don’t want you to feel weird or anything…”
“I don’t, I feel extremely loved.” the younger man quickly reassures. “We are what we are, and
we’re happy like this, so that’s what matters.”
“You’re right.” Jungkook nods. “And adorable—”
“Enjoy this while it lasts, man.” his roommate says, and Jungkook’s eyes quickly move to him as
the man rolls over in bed, thus turning his back to him, and covers himself with his sheets.
“My love, let me put you on hold for a moment.” he doesn’t wait for an answer before doing so,
and puts the phone down. “What did you mean by that?” no answer comes, so Jungkook throws a
pillow at him. “Don’t fucking say that shit and then turn your back to me like a coward.” again, no
answer. “Are you fucking serious right n—”
“You’ll find out that time and distance are harder to handle on the outside. Enjoy the calls while
they last, because they don’t. They never do.” Jihoon explains as he throws the pillow back.
“You have no idea of what you’re talking about.”
“I had a partner when I arrived here the first time. We were engaged, actually, yet it didn’t even
last a full month. The calls started being less and less constant, until they stopped… and then she
showed up one day, telling me that we were over, and handed me the ring back.”
“Tae’s not like that.” Jungkook defends. “He loves me, and I love him. We’re stronger than that.”
“Everyone here is on their own, man. Everyone has been left here.” Jihoon gestures around to
nothing in particular. “Those who walked in with partners are as single as I am. We’re too much to
handle, and time goes by differently for those freely outside. You’ll figure that out sooner than
later.” his roommate adds as he lays back down. “It’s just the awful, ugly truth.”
“I don’t care about your or anyone else’s experience. Taehyung is not like that, and I have full trust
in him and our relationship, so you can fuck right off with that bullshit.”
“Whatever you say, man.” Jihoon dismisses it, and Jungkook has to bite down on his teeth and
count to ten not to yell at his roommate to tell him off, maybe with a few insults.
Instead, he picks his phone back up. “Baby? I’m back, sorry about that. Are you still there?”
“Yes, yes, I just tucked myself into bed while waiting for you.” Taehyung informs, and the thought
of him being alone in bed right now makes Jungkook’s heart ache in his chest.
“I wish that I was there with you…” he whispers, laying down with his ear on top of the phone so
that he doesn’t have to hold it. He’s tired, sleepy, and his lids feel heavy. “Tell me about your day,
I want to hear about it, too.”
As Taehyung starts speaking, he finds that he can’t pay attention to the words that he’s hearing but
not registering. All that he can think about is what his roommate said, and he knows that he
shouldn’t be replaying it over and over again in his head. His relationship with Taehyung isn’t like
that, but he’s too paranoid not to imagine himself in such a scenario.
He keeps humming to what his boyfriend is saying, just to give him the impression that he’s
listening, but Taehyung knows him too well. “Baby, you’re not very talkative. Are you tired? Do
you want to sleep?” he asks.
“Yeah.” Jungkook whispers.
“Would you like me to hang up?”
“No.” he quickly says. “No, please. Stay with me on the phone until I fall asleep…” his boyfriend
only whispers a quiet ‘okay’, and the sound of his steady breathing is what helps Jungkook’s mind
quiet down, and the only reason why he manages to start closing his eyes to sleep.
However, “Hyung?” Taehyung whispers. Jungkook only hums, half-asleep. “Oh, you were already
falling asleep, I’m so sorry.” he quickly excuses himself.
“It’s fine, my love.” Jungkook reassures. “Are you cuddling Moon?”
“Yeah… but she’s not nearly as good at cuddling as you are.” he says. “You can sleep, hyungie,
I’m right here with you. You’ll sleep peacefully, I’m sure.” the blonde says with a quiet tone,
almost a whisper directly to Jungkook’s ear. “I’m right here. I love you, my Jungkookie…”
“Hm… yours…” Jungkook mumbles, and it’s to the sound of Taehyung’s low voice and reassuring
whispers that he slowly drifts into sleep. Jihoon’s words are left in the back of his mind as he
focuses solely on his boyfriend, imagining the young man to be right there with him.
The last thing that he hears is a faint ‘I love you’.
│►
Chapter End Notes
So,,,, angst wave coming?

◄│ 70│►
Chapter Notes
Jungkook almost jumps out of bed when the loud, unfamiliar sound rings a little too close to his
ear, and it takes him a few seconds too long to understand that it’s just the alarm-clock on his
nightstand. “Jesus, what an awful fucking ringtone.” he complains in a mumble, struggling to find
the right button to turn it off.
He feels sick, his body feels weird, so he lays back down. His hand blindly searches for his phone
to check whether the call is still running or not, but finds that Taehyung did end it hours ago, most
likely once Jungkook himself fell asleep.
There’s a text from him, he realizes then: ‘You were snoring really cutely, but I ended the call so
that my phone won’t be dead in the morning. I hope that you sleep well’ it reads, and it’s followed
by a few heart emojis, all of them in a different color.
Jungkook smiles, replying with a good morning text; he wishes his boyfriend a good day at work,
and lets him know that he did sleep well. Which he finds weird. He slept well. He slept through the
night without a nightmare, but he doesn’t want to feel too happy about it, because it might just have
been a one-time thing.
Taehyung has been sleeping beside him for months now, so it’s been months since he’s had a
nightmare. Maybe he’s over them, maybe they’re something that he’s managed to put behind his
back, who knows. He just knows that he’ll have to check whether the next few nights pass as
smoothly as this one before celebrating anything.
“Good morning.” he hears from the door, and so he lifts his head up to find a staff member smiling
at them. “Breakfast will be served in half an hour. I hope that you’ve slept well.” the male bows,
leaving without waiting for an answer from them. Jungkook guesses that he goes room-to-room
wishing people a good morning.
There’s a groan from the other bed, his roommate sitting up. “I’ll let you shower first since you
went to bed all angry at me last night.” Jihoon offers, rubbing his eyes. “But also, sorry for what
happened yesterday. It’s a touchy subject for me, and I just wanted to warn you…”
“I appreciate your concern, but Taehyung and I aren’t like that, so you don’t have and don’t get to
say such things. Worry about your own relationship… or lack thereof.”
Jihoon hisses. “Ouch? That was fucking unnecessary.”
“I didn’t mean it like that, I— I’m sorry, I just hate when people comment on what they don’t
know.” Jungkook sighs. “I’ll just go take a shower.” he informs, gathering his clothes before
leaving to their shared bathroom.
All the products that he requested are neatly on his side of the cabinets while Jihoon’s are messily
thrown in his own. It bothers him. The messiness. It’s not his place to fix anything, however, so he
focuses on just getting rid of his pajamas and on hopping into the shower.
The water is warm, and it relaxes his tense muscles.
He’s able to get ready in less than ten minutes, dried up and dressed by the time that Jihoon knocks
on the door. “I need to piss.” the man says, and Jungkook sighs before gathering his things and
opening the door. He’ll have a hard time getting used to having a roommate.
“You can go.” he gestures, rubbing his hair with the towel. “Where do I put the dirty clothes?”
“You have a basket right there.” Jihoon points back inside the bathroom. “I’m using the one on the
right, so you can use the other one. I’m sure that they’ve explained it to you already but, in case
they haven’t, you can take the basket to the laundry room whenever you want. You can leave it or
take care of it yourself… The clothes don’t get lost because they have room tags.”
“Okay, thanks.” Jungkook nods, putting everything in his basket.
“It’s nothing, dude.” Jihoon smiles, closing the door. Jungkook just finishes drying his hair to the
best of his abilities without a blow-dryer, given that the only one available for him to use is in the
bathroom and he doesn’t want to bother again.
It’s still a little wet, but he decides that it’s dry enough to go to breakfast. He puts on the grey
hooded jacket and slides on a pair of slippers, and leaves with his phone in his pocket. He’ll have to
figure out where to leave said phone after he’s eaten something.
He follows the rest of the people to the canteen. It smells like coffee and toasted bread, and he
feels almost sick from it. He’s not hungry at all, his stomach hurts, and he knows that he’ll for sure
puke out whatever he tries to digest.
The thought of eating doesn’t sound appealing, so he just grabs a glass of water before sitting down
on one of the empty tables with his head down, a hand over his stomach.
“Can I sit here?” he looks up at an older woman holding her tray of food.
Jungkook nods. “Of course, yes.” she smiles while sitting across from him. Jungkook takes a sip
from his water, his attention solely on the table, but he can feel her eyes on him, so he tilts his head
back up to meet her eyes questioningly.
“Does your stomach hurt, kid?” he simply nods. “Yeah, the first few days here are tough.” she
sighs, sipping from her mug filled with coffee. “It’s always very agonizing to see young people
here going through this. It’ll get easier, but the first days aren’t fun for anyone.”
“Yeah, yeah…” he mumbles, taking another sip from his water; even said water feels weird in his
stomach. “Are, uhm, are the nurses really available all the time? I might need to ask them for a pill
or something… my head hurts a lot.”
“Oh, yes, they are available day and night.” the lady clarifies. “But you can’t take a pill on an
empty stomach so, here, have one.” she hands him a slice of toasted bread. “Take it, c’mon.”
“Thank you…” Jungkook takes the offer, even if hesitantly, and takes a bite from it. The butter is
good, the bread is toasted just right, but he’s really not hungry. “Why did you come sit next to me,
if you don’t mind me asking?”
“I saw you at the group meeting yesterday… You’re the new guy. I assumed that you don’t know
anyone here yet and, while I know that I might not be the best company, it is still better than
none.” she shrugs, sipping from her coffee. “Do you want me to leave?”
“No, it’s fine. I just thought that this would be filled with… shitty people. That’s why I asked.”
“Oh, no. Pretty much everyone here is nice, you don’t have to worry about that. I’ve been here for
two months and a half, and I have yet to meet someone who’s rude after the first two or three
days.” she reassures. “If you need anything, anyone to talk to, you can turn to basically everyone
here, and they’ll help with whatever it might be.”
“Alright, thank you. For the bread and the talk, I suppose.”
The lady smiles. “Not very talkative, are you?”
“I have my days… I’m super nauseous right now, so I don’t feel like talking.” he sighs, looking
down again. It feels both freeing and weird to talk about such things so openly, he’s never had
anyone that knows exactly what he’s going through.
“I understand, worry not. You’ll feel better, kid. Things get easier.”
“I sure hope so…”
│►
“Do you only have a headache?” the nurse asks, going through the cabinets.
Jungkook looks away for a moment. He’s embarrassed, truly. Saying everything that he’s feeling
makes him feel worse about everything, so he decides not to. “Yes, just a headache.” he lies.
“I can only give you one pill for it to go away for now so, if you need another one once this one
wears off, you will have to return.” she explains. “We have to be very careful when we give these
medications to you guys, which I’m sure that you understand…”
“Yeah, don’t worry.” Jungkook smiles, taking the pill from her hand. “Thank you so much, have a
nice day.” he bows, ready to leave. “I’ll return if this doesn’t help or if I need another one.”
“Wait a second.” she turns around, opening the faucet to fill up a plastic cup that she then offers to
him. “You cannot leave with a solid pill, you have to take it here.”
“Oh, right.” Jungkook rushes to take the cup, easily swallowing the pill. “Thank you, again.”
“It’s nothing. I hope that you feel better.” she bows, so Jungkook mirrors the action before leaving.
There’s a young man leaning against the wall a few feet away from the door, and he looks up once
Jungkook leaves the nurse’s office.
“Hey.” the stranger says. “Do you have anything?”
“Huh? What do you mean?” the other patient just sighs, realizing that Jungkook does not, in fact,
have anything for him. “I’m… confused. Am I supposed to have something?”
“Some people don’t swallow their pills.” Jungkook furrows his brows, confused. “If you have the
right friends, you can trade things for pills.” he starts, stepping closer. “If you crush just one or two
of those pills and sniff them, every pain goes away… including the longing for home.”
“Yeah, no, thank you.” Jungkook tries to walk past him, but the young man follows, so he stops
and faces him again. “Listen, if you’re trying to do that shit that you guys do where you’ll try to
intimidate me into doing that for you just because I’m new here, then I’ll spare you the time and
tell you that it won’t work with me. Get the fuck away from me before I beat your fucking ass.”
The stranger lifts both of his hands, chuckling. “Hey, chill out. I wasn’t going to intimidate you, I
was going to politely suggest and ask.”
“Then I’ll politely tell you to fuck right off.” Jungkook gives him a little cynical smile. “You’re
here taking someone’s bed, someone who could actually want to drop an addiction. Why being
here wasting money and fucking space if you’re not trying to stop being a fucking junky loser?”
“No need to offend, man. I was just going to make a suggestion. I make whatever I want with my
money, and I make a respectable amount with these trades. I’ll pay you for every—”
“I’m here to cure an addiction, I don’t need another one.” Jungkook says, certain. “Don’t come to
me ever again, because I’m not scared of you. Wait for another new guy.”
“You’ll come around.”
“The fuck I will.” he rolls his eyes as he turns on his heels, quickly making his way out of there
without looking back. So, he concludes that the older lady in the canteen was wrong about what
she said. You can’t trust everyone in there.
│►
Jungkook rolls over in bed, closing his book with a frustrated sigh. He’s bored. His headache has
subsided and, even if his stomach still feels funny, it doesn’t bother him anymore to the point of
holding him back from being on his feet.
So, he gets up, and puts on his slippers before leaving the room. He’s not really sure of where he’s
going, he might just walk around for a little, but maybe he’ll find either something to do, or
someone to sit down and talk to. Maybe that nice lady from earlier.
He makes his way slowly through the hall where the activities are held; the windows are big, so
they allow him to peek inside of each room. The patients look interested, so he figures that it might
not be that much of a hassle to join an activity every now and then.
His feet stop by the window of the art room, his interest spiking. Everyone has a canvas and
brushes, and they all seem to be painting something different. There’s a teacher walking around the
room that looks out the window when he notices someone standing there.
Jungkook contemplates running away when he sees the man walking towards him, but doesn’t
move from his spot. “Hi.” the teacher greets with a smile. “Would you like to come in?”
“Oh, I uhm, I haven’t picked up a brush since high school. I think I’ll just stick to watching.” he
rushes to explain, shaking his head. It’s true, he hasn’t painted anything in a very long time, and
even the little drawings that he’s done here and there were all on the back of someone’s abandoned
receipt at the gas station, or bored doodles during class.
“It’s never too late to pick them back up.”
“I… I don’t know. I’m not that good at painting.” Jungkook chuckles, a little awkwardly,
scratching the back of his neck. “I wouldn’t be an ideal participant.”
“No one has to be good at painting to participate in this class. Besides, being good at art is
subjective, your art is for you to understand, and for others to try to decipher and enjoy.” the
teacher assures with a shrug. “If others don’t understand, then that’s their problem, so come on in,
I’m sure that you’ll like it here.” he encourages, and just walks back inside.
Jungkook watches him join the patients, and gives it a thought. He’s bored, and the class seems
entertaining enough. Not only that but, judging by some of the paintings that he can see from there,
talent isn’t required. He sighs, walking inside the room and picking the first empty chair.
“You can paint whatever you want to. It can be an emotion, a landscape, a fruit… it can even be
something like… a cat.” it definitely won’t be a cat, he thinks. “Just let your hand decide.” the
teacher encourages, and he nods, reaching for one of the brushes.
His hand takes him to the dark blue paint, and he starts coating the canvas with it, saddened that he
doesn’t really have the time to apply a white base first and wait for it to dry. The canvas is slowly
filled with a mix of dark blues and purples that he works with until he’s satisfied with it, even using
his fingers to do so.
He then looks at it in silence. What is that going to be? It doesn’t look like anything in specific, so
the options are vast. He looks around at the others’ paintings, but most of them aren’t something
that he can take inspiration from, so he’s left having to look outside of the window.
The sun is shining brightly, and it does make him think of something. His canvas is coated in dark
blues, so he can turn it into the night sky, the opposite of what he can see from the window. He
changes to a clean brush, sitting up straighter now that he has a proper plan.
An hour passes while he works on the clouds, but he doesn’t even notice it, way too entertained
and focused on his project. Some people leave the room, either done with their paintings or simply
tired of that activity, yet Jungkook’s so narrowed on the canvas that he doesn’t even see anyone
walking past him to the door.
Painting the moon is, without a doubt, the hardest part, which makes him want to give up a few
times — he even contemplates shoving his fingers into the canvas and tearing it apart, but doesn’t.
He’s not a quitter, and he will finish his painting.
“You said that you weren’t good at painting.” he looks up at the teacher, the man standing up by
his side with his hands on his hips and curious eyes on the canvas. “This is really good…” he waits
for a name, dragging his words.
“Jungkook.”
“Jungkook. It looks amazing, Jungkook. Keep going, this is turning out great.” he compliments,
and he sounds genuine. “You can keep the canvas in the end, if you’d like. Some patients even take
them home once they’re done with their stay here.”
“I can keep them?” being able to take the canvas home does make all of the work sound a little
more worth it. While being there is indeed therapeutic and does help him ignore the weird feeling
in his stomach and the weird fatigue that he feels, he’s still glad that it’s not for nothing and that
he’ll be able to keep the painting.
“You can, of course. You can take it to your room after it dries, or you can leave it here with your
name properly written on the back of the canvas, so that we don’t lose any of them.” the teacher
explains, tapping his shoulder. “Keep going, it’s looking great so far.”
Jungkook smiles to himself, grabbing the brush with a little more determination. Maybe he can just
offer all the paintings to Taehyung once he goes back home, and they can hang them in the
apartment. Hopefully, they’ll have enough space for all of them, because Jungkook can already
predict that he’s going to be spending a lot of time in the art room.
He wipes his stained fingers, and focuses. He wants the moon to look flawless, because he can’t
possibly give anything less than perfect to his boyfriend. He’ll make it perfect for him.
│►
Taehyung knocks on his coworker’s door, peeking his head inside. Namjoon is putting his
belongings in his bag, ready to leave, but smiles when he sees him. “Hey, Taehyung.”
“Hey.” Taehyung mirrors his smile. “Can I come in for a moment? I have something to tell you.”
Namjoon stops his movements, straightening up. “Of course, come in, take a seat.” he gestures to
the chair in front of his desk, sitting down as well. “Did something happen? You look a little too
serious… I’m only guessing that it’s something important.”
“Yeah, you could say so.” Taehyung nods. “Jungkook won’t be able to come here to see you for
your sessions for a while now. He left quite in a rush, so I’m pretty sure that he hasn’t told you
about it, and that’s why I’m here to do so, I’m here to inform you.”
“Did something happen to him? Is he ok?” he asks.
“He will be ok.” Taehyung sighs. “He’s in a rehabilitation center. He started his journey yesterday,
and we can only hope that he’ll only be back in three months, so… everything here is kind of
paused for him, you know? He had to freeze his classes, and he can’t come to see you.”
“Oh, that’s amazing.” Namjoon smiles, placing his hand on his chest. “I can’t imagine how proud
and relieved you must be, if even I’m feeling this glad. I’ve listened to him talk about this problem
multiple times, and being so upset about it… he truly needed this. I’m so happy for him.”
“He’s doing something incredible for himself, and yes, I’m insanely proud of him. He’s a little
scared, but he’s also motivated, so I think that he’ll achieve his goal.” Taehyung smiles.
“He’s strong, he will.” Namjoon relaxes back on his chair. “What about his job…?”
“He went there to talk to his boss as soon as we signed the papers, and he explained the situation
without hiding anything from him. His boss is a really good person, has an amazing heart, and he
told Jungkook that he’ll be able to go back to work once he returns.”
“Oh, that’s so sweet… and relieving. He’ll do great, I’m sure of it.”
“I know. I have a lot of faith in him.” he sighs, a little dreamy. “I just wanted to let you know, so
that you don’t find it weird that he’s not calling and scheduling his sessions with you.”
“And I appreciate you telling me. Thank you, Tae. However, as a therapist, I must ask you how
you’re feeling about all of this… I know that you’re proud of him, but are we sure not to have any
bad feelings or bad thoughts about this situation?”
“I can assure you that I only have positive thoughts about this. I’m worried, and I’m sad that I will
have to be away from my boyfriend for so long, but I’m so proud of him, and so happy for him, that
whenever I stop to think about it, I only feel a wave of happiness and relief.” he explains, looking
down at his lap. “I already miss him, and the night was way colder than what I’m used to, but he’s
doing something good for himself, so I can’t complain. I just can’t.”
“It’s normal that you miss him, but I’m glad that you feel like this… positive thought only.” his
friend smiles, zipping up his bag. “You can come talk to me if you end up feeling uneasy about any
of this, but I can already tell that it won’t happen.”
“Oh, I can assure you that it won’t.” Taehyung nods. “But I appreciate it a lot. Thank you.”
“You’re very welcome. I wish him all the luck to get through this entire process, and wish you all
the strength to stay strong here, waiting for him.”
“Thank you, Joon.”
│►
Taehyung fumbles with his keys as he tries to balance the bag of groceries with only one of his
hands, the door hitting something as he tries to push it open. It takes him less than a second to
realize that it’s Moon, lying in the exact place that she was when he left that morning. Right in
front of the door, waiting for someone to arrive.
“Oh, baby, he’s not coming…” Taehyung says, upset. “C’mon, get up, I don’t want you there by
yourself.” but she doesn’t move anything other than her head to sniff his bag, and quickly lays
down on the floor. “Baby…” he sighs; he can only imagine how confused she must be. Putting the
groceries down, he kneels next to her. “He’s not coming, baby. He won’t come home for a little
while.” he says as he threads his fingers through her fur. “You can’t lie by the door for three
months waiting for him, girl. Jungkook isn’t coming.”
His heart breaks again when she immediately raises her head at the mention of her owner’s name.
Dogs can be so smart, so emotionally intelligent, yet they can’t understand things that could be so
easily explained. He feels terribly guilty knowing that she thinks that her owner is simply not
coming back ever again, that Jungkook has abandoned her.
“C’mon, let’s get you some food.” Taehyung calls after her, tapping his leg and whistling, which
would work on a regular day buy, today, she doesn’t move, only whines, so Taehyung sighs and
picks up the groceries. He can just let her get her way one more time.
Once he enters the kitchen, his feet stop in their tracks. There’s a coffee mug on the counter, the
coffee untouched, and placed exactly where he left it that morning. He made Jungkook some
coffee — it makes his eyes well up. The mug alone brings his energy down. He’s so used to having
his boyfriend there, so used to just being together, that he filled a second mug with coffee without
even thinking, subconsciously.
Taehyung grabs the mug, dumping the black liquid in the sink. He can’t wait for the nighttime to
come so that he can talk to his boyfriend, who he already misses so much. It’s only the first full
day that the elder has been away, but it already feels like weeks to his poor heart.
He feeds Moon by the door, having to place the water bowl there as well, and tries to distract
himself with work so that he’s not left mopping around. Cooking alone turns out to be just as sad as
eating alone, just as bad as walking a reluctant Moon alone and, when he takes his shower to go to
bed and calls Jungkook to get him his forgotten towel, he can’t hold it in anymore.
He cries for a few minutes, his tears easily blending in with the water cascading from the
showerhead. He lays down under the covers to wait for the call to come through, and knowing that
he’s about to talk to his boyfriend is the only thing that makes him stop crying. Jungkook would be
able to tell, and he doesn’t want to worry the man.
Taehyung accepts the call after one single beep. “Baby…” they breathe out at the same time, both
missing the other just as much. “Hey, hyungie.” the blonde curls into himself, a smile on his face.
“How was today? Did you sleep well? How are you feeling? What did— Ok, I’m sorry, I’m asking
way too many questions…” he has to hold back.
Jungkook chuckles, warmth spreading across his chest. “It’s fine, my love. I slept well, I didn’t
have any nightmares… If you don’t mind talking me to sleep again, I’d really appreciate it.”
“Of course, baby, you don’t even have to ask.” Taehyung assures. “I’m so freaking relieved that
you didn’t have a nightmare, I was so worried about that… I couldn’t wait to ask you.”
“I just hope that they never come back.” Jungkook sighs. “I tried art therapy today. It was really
relaxing, I’d say. I painted you the moon, so expect me to offer you the canvas once I’m out of this
place.” he smiles, grabbing the picture that he has of Taehyung. “I didn’t think that I’d be able to
find anything decent here, but that really took my mind out of everything. It was good.”
“You can’t imagine how happy I am hearing that, hyung. I’m glad that you’re finding things to
distract yourself while you’re there… Not only that, but also, you deserve to relax…”
“Love, what’s wrong? Did something happen? You sound upset…”
Taehyung looks down; he knew that Jungkook would be able to tell. “Today was hard without you,
is all. It was the first day that I woke up without you, so I asked you to turn off the alarm, made
coffee for you that I found in the same spot when I came back home… I called after you to get me
my towel after I showered, because I forgot to grab one… I’m just— upset.”
“I reached for you about twenty times when I was lying down in bed reading a book, which is why
I even looked for an activity, because it was depressing me to realize that you weren’t there…”
Jungkook admits, and it does make it a little better. “I miss you like crazy already.”
“I miss you, too…” Taehyung sighs. “But enough of this, please, how are you feeling physically?”
“Hm, I woke up very nauseous and my head hurt like a bitch. I couldn’t have anything for
breakfast, and barely ate anything at lunch because I felt sick. I didn’t have anything for dinner,
either, so I’m running on water and some occasional plain bread… I have no energy.” Jungkook
explains, because he has no reason not to be honest with his boyfriend. “I asked for a headache pill
in the nurse’s office, and some junky followed me to try to get it from me. It was funny.”
The blonde blinks, puzzled. “Huh? What do mean?”
“Yeah, I suppose that it’s kind of how they do in prison… I think that he smuggles that shit for
money, or something. I can understand that, in a way, but I can’t understand why doing it in
rehab… Why pay money to be here, if you’re going to spend your time finding ways to keep your
addictions fed?” Jungkook rants, annoyed. “I was fucking pissed, I even insulted him.”
“Rightfully so, babe.” Taehyung shakes his head with a frown. “Don’t befriend those people, we
want you to be around positivity, and nothing else.” he advises. “I want you to succeed…”
“And I will. I promise you, baby.” Jungkook assures. “I’ll miss my Taehyungie’s kisses like
fucking hell, but I’ll get through it. I won’t give in to temptations, I have too much to fight for. I
need to be ok as soon as the three months end, because I can’t wait to be back home…”
“I want you here, too, but we have to be strong. I’ll be right here. Always.”
“I love you so much.” Jungkook whispers into the speaker.
Taehyung giggles. “That was random, but I love you just as much.”
“Random? Don’t speak as if I don’t say how much I love you all the time.” Jungkook tsks.
“I should start doing it more often…” Taehyung realizes. “It still feels very surreal to even feel like
this, so I get overwhelmed by love whenever I feel the will to say those words, and end up not
saying them… It usually leads to random kisses, though, so not all is lost.”
“I already loved your random kisses, but now I’ll appreciate them even more.”
Taehyung smiles. “Tell me more about your day, hyung, I’m curious.”
Jungkook lays back down with a grin. “So, the art therapist told us…”
│►
It’s four in the morning when Jungkook wakes up in a scenario that he’s seen himself in before, his
body feeling as though it’s burning all over, and his stomach seems to want to come out of his torso
through his mouth. There are already tears pooling in his eyes at the immense pain that he’s
feeling, and he doesn’t think twice before getting his phone and running to the bathroom to make a
call. He kneels in front of the toilet as he waits for the call to go through.
He sobs in pain just as Taehyung picks up. “Baby? What’s wrong? You’re crying, what
happened?!” Taehyung asks right away, worry increasing with every word that he says.
“It hurts— Tae— It hurts so much.” Jungkook takes the phone away when he feels his stomach
twitch, and he can’t stop himself from puking everything out; not that he had anything in his
stomach, either way. He can hear Taehyung’s voice calling after him, but only places the phone
against his ear again when he’s done. “I have a fever…” he groans.
“You’re puking, and you have a fever after being unwell the entire day. You’re clearly going
through a withdrawal. Please, call a nurse to assist you.” Taehyung indicates.
“No, I don’t want to. This is fucking embarrassing.” Jungkook cries out, one arm hugging his own
abdomen, as if to try to stop the pain that ripples through his whole body.
“It’s not embarrassing, and they’re used to this. It’s their job, so—” he stops when he hears his
boyfriend puking again, which is followed by a long and pained groan. “Jungkook, please…”
“I’m scared. I’m scared, and you’re not here, and I don’t know what to do. Please, Tae, I-I feel like
I’m dying.” his voice fails by the end, betraying him. “I’m fucking dying.”
“You’re not dying, you just need help. Please, call someone.” Taehyung begs. “Please, hyung, call
someone to help you, you can’t go through this by yourself, you need medication.”
“I don’t wa—”
“Hello, Jungkook.” he hears a strong but calming voice by the door, so he turns around to find his
half-asleep roommate with two male nurses. “Everything will be ok, you just need to come with us,
alright? You’re going to be just fine.” he drops his phone as one of the males helps him stand up,
and he doesn’t even try to fight it, simply using the two as support to walk.
Jihoon looks at the phone on the floor, picking it up and taking it to his ear. “Hey.” he says, a little
hesitantly. “He’s being taken care of right now, he’s going to be ok.”
“What’s happening? What are they doing to him? I can still hear him crying, please, tell me what’s
going on, or I’m going to drive there right now.” Taehyung begs, eyes welling up.
“They wouldn’t let you in outside of visitation hours.” Jihoon sighs. “I’ve been in his place, and it
fucking hurts and sucks, but the guys know what they’re doing. They’ll take care of him, so you
should just go back to sleep.”
“But I need to know if he’s ok…” Taehyung’s voice breaks with a soft cry. “I need him to be ok.”
“He will be. They’ll sedate him so that he goes to sleep without being in excruciating pain, and
he’ll be peaceful. Just go to bed, and call in tomorrow, and I’m sure that he’ll be able to talk to you
a little bit.” Jihoon explains, trying to settle him a little. “This will happen three or four times, and
it only gets worse until his body starts to accept that he’s just not going to drink anymore.”
“Who are you, if I may ask…?”
“I’m Jihoon, his roommate. I heard him puking, and I knew what was happening right away. I’m
only assuming that you’re his boyfriend… Taehyung, I think that that’s the name. He mostly calls
you ‘Tae’ whenever he talks about you.” that makes him smile; he wonders what Jungkook talks
about when speaking of him.
“Yeah, that’s me.” he confirms. “Can you keep an eye on him, please?”
“Yeah, of course. He won’t wake up anytime soon, though. He’ll stay out of it until tomorrow
morning, at least.” the man informs. “At least that was my experience with it.”
“Do you reckon that, if I call the receptionist in the morning, they’ll tell me anything about how
he’s doing? I’m worried that he might wake up past the time allowed with his phone, and I won’t
know how he’s doing until he calls me at night…”
Jihoon takes a moment, unsure. “You can definitely try.”
“I will, then. Thank you so much.”
│►
Chapter End Notes
What if I said the angst wave is directly about Taekook and not rehab? Hehe
◄│ 71 │►
Chapter Notes
When Taehyung’s alarm goes off, he doesn’t have it in himself to get up and press the button to
send it to snooze and bother him again in ten minutes. “Turn it off…” he mumbles instead, eyes
still closed. When the sound continues and the bed doesn’t move, he has to speak again. “Babe,
please, turn that off already— Oh.” he sits up, lips curving down in a frown. “Again…” he sighs.
He has to turn it off himself, rubbing his tired eyes before grabbing his phone. The number to call
the clinic is already saved in his contacts and added to his favorites for easier and faster access, so
he quickly dials it, taking the phone to his ear. It only beeps three times.
“Good morning. Seoul’s Addiction Rehabilitation Center, how can I help you?” he hears from the
other side, the man’s voice polite and lively despite how early it is.
“Hi— Good morning. I wanted to ask you if there’s any possibility of getting information on a
patient…” Taehyung asks, a little hesitant. “He called me last night, and he was having a
withdrawal… I heard some nurses taking him, so I just want to know if he’s alright. I-I need to
know whatever you could give me. Please.”
“Of course, I’ll try to get you something. What’s the patient's name?”
“Thank you, sir. His name is Jeon Jungkook.”
“Let me call the nurses’ office, please excuse me for a minute.” he’s put on hold before he can say
anything, and he’s left to listen to the music that the man adds for the meantime. Taehyung focuses
his attention on Simba, petting the cat’s fur as he waits. “Are you still there?” the man calls not
even two minutes later, and he straightens up.
“Yes. Yes, I am.” he nods to himself. “Did you get anything that you can disclose?”
“I did.” his shoulders sag in relief. “He’s still sleeping, given that it took him a while to rest last
night, but they sedated him, and he’s been sleeping ever since. They’re also unsure of when he’ll
wake up, as everyone’s body reacts to things differently. That’s all that I can give you right now,
and I hope that it’s enough to settle you.”
“Oh… That’s ok, yes.” Taehyung sighs. He was hoping to know a lot more than that. “Do you
think that it’s ok if I call you later again? I won’t relax until I know that he’s awake and ok. I’m
sorry if I’m being super annoying right now, but— but he’s my boyfriend, and I’m worried.”
“I understand, you don’t have to apologize.” the man assures. “You can call us later today if you’d
like, and even I hope to have more information to give you by then.”
“Thank you so much.” he smiles. “Have a great morning, and thank you so much, again.”
“Thank you, sir. Have a good day, too.” the call ends, and so Taehyung puts the phone down with
a frustrated sigh. That didn’t make anything clear, but at least he now knows that they were able to
help Jungkook sleep last night, which calms his heart a little bit.
He gets up from the bed, making his way to the living room as he rubs his tired eyes, feet stopping
as he sees Moon still lying in the same spot in front of the door. “Oh, baby…” he walks up to her,
kneeling by her side. “You can’t just stay here…” the dog licks his face, getting up to greet him,
but doesn’t really move from her spot. “He’s not coming, baby, not now.” he whispers, threading
his fingers through her fur. “I’m giving you breakfast, but you can’t eat it here, you have to be a
big girl, and eat in the kitchen, alright?” he points a finger, and Moon only sits down instead of
sprinting to the kitchen. “Moon, c’mon. Food? C’mon.”
Yet she still doesn’t move, so Taehyung sighs and just grabs her bowl to go fill it up, and come
back to give it to her. He doesn’t want her to starve, so he doesn’t have any other choice. Maybe
she’ll realize that Jungkook isn’t coming back after a few days, and she’ll give up on waiting.
While making his own breakfast, he only realizes halfway through filling up a second mug with
coffee that he doesn’t have his person to serve coffee to, and it positively ruins his mood to a point
of no return. He grabs his coffee, and goes back to the dog to sit down next to her.
“You’re done with breakfast already?” Taehyung asks rhetorically, offering her a little smile when
her tail wags. “You miss him, I know. I miss him just as much… Home doesn’t even feel like
home anymore when I come here and he’s— he’s nowhere to be found.” he sniffs, looking at the
ceiling to stop his eyes from welling up. “I know that he needs this, and he deserves everything
good that will come with this experience, but the selfish part of me just wishes that he was here for
a simple goodnight kiss, or a face-to-face good morning…”
Moon lays her head down, keeping her little sweet eyes on him.
“He’ll be back, baby, I promise you. We have to be strong…”
│►
Taehyung stops munching on his food when he hears an alarm go off, so he quickly grabs his
phone to turn it off. “What’s that for?” Jimin asks, curious.
“It’s to remind me to make a call… Excuse me for a moment, please.” his best friend only gestures
for him to go ahead, and so he opens his most recent calls and clicks on the latest dialed number. “I
set up alarms every two hours to call the clinic…” he shares, listening to the line beep.
“You’ve been calling them every two hours—?” Jimin asks, a little incredulous, but Taehyung
doesn’t answer as the call gets through, and he can already hear the same man greeting him.
“Hi, it’s Kim Taehyung again… We spoke not too long ago.” Taehyung informs. “I was hoping
that you would have something for me by now…” the man on the other side tells him to wait for a
minute, as he’s done every time that they’ve talked, and Taehyung sits there, tapping the table
anxiously while, simultaneously, doing his best to avoid Jimin’s eyes on him.
“Alright.” he hears after almost two minutes. “I was informed that Jeon Jungkook has already
woken up, and is now being taken for breakfast, and then will be taken to one of the activities that
he chooses, so to be a little distracted, and also to have people who can easily assist him in case he
needs anything. He’s feeling well, as of now. That’s all that I was told, and I hope that it’s enough
to settle your worry.”
“Oh, that’s amazing, thank you.” Taehyung smiles, placing a hand over his heart. “Do you think
that I could talk to him? I know that it might be a bit of stretch, but…” he drags.
“I’m sorry, but that cannot be arranged. You can only talk to him at night when he gets his phone
back, as we don’t open any exceptions during the day.” he looks down, nodding to himself. “I do
hope that I still somewhat relaxed you by letting you know that he’s doing ok.”
“You did, yes. Thank you so much for your help.”
Jimin waits for the call to be over, taking a new sip from his beverage before speaking. “What
happened?”
“Jungkook called me in the middle of the night while he was having a withdrawal, and I just had to
be sure that he was ok. He was asleep the whole morning, under the sedatives that they
administered to him, so I needed to know that he was awake and feeling well.” Taehyung explains
with a sigh. “I’m upset at the lack of information, and at the fact that he’s hurting, but they don’t
let me talk to him to let him k—”
“Taehyungie, you have to trust the facility. You’re paying good money for him to be there, so you
have to trust the professionals to take care of him, otherwise you won’t relax. I’m also sure that
Jungkook hyung doesn’t want you stressing yourself like this, either.” Jimin tries to be the voice of
reason, reaching for Taehyung’s hand across the table. “He has to focus on himself and his
recovery while he’s there, he doesn’t… well, need his boyfriend on the outside worrying like this,
because it’ll make him want to leave, and he won’t properly enjoy his time there.”
“You’re right.” Taehyung recognizes, dejected. “But, Minie, you don’t understand what it is like to
hear his voice like that. He was so desperate, and scared, and in pain, and I couldn’t do anything to
help him. I couldn’t hug him, I couldn’t do anything. I felt so helpless and freaking useless… I
know that you’re right, but you can’t understand what it’s like…”
“I can’t understand, you’re right, but I can imagine. You have to be strong, Tae… you both have to
be very strong to get through this.” Jimin squeezes the hand that he’s holding, giving his friend a
little smile. “Hobi and I have been really busy lately with the wedding planning, but you know that
we’re here for you, yeah? We’re here for you both.”
“I know, I know.” Taehyung nods. “I know…”
“Everything is going to be ok. I promise.”
│►
“Good afternoon.” Taehyung greets the lady at the front desk once he returns to the clinic, and she
bows with a polite smile. He walks across the hallway with his phone in his hand, but doesn’t pay
any attention to the text that he’s just received when he notices that his door is open. There he finds
a man standing in the middle of his office, looking around. “Can I help you?” Taehyung asks as he
puts his bag down on his desk. “Are you lost? Who allowed you in?”
“Oh, hello.” the stranger turns around with a smile. “I was informed that my office has a little plate
saying ‘Kim’ on the door, so I got in the first one that I saw, but as I got here, I started to realize
that this looked occupied… I was just thinking of what to do, I promise that I’m not breaking into
your office.” he explains.
“Your office?” Taehyung tilts his head, taking a moment to process that. “Oh! You’re the new
psychiatrist, right? Kim Minjae?” the other nods. “It’s very nice to meet you.” they both bow to
each other, equally as polite. “Did no one show you around? Usually, they’d take you directly to
your office, and show you the break rooms, and such.”
“They did offer, but I like to see things for myself, so I wanted to explore alone. We can clearly see
that it didn’t go well, given that I ended up in your office instead.” Minjae chuckles, scratching the
back of his neck. “It’s very nice to meet you, too. I’ve already had the pleasure of meeting some of
the other doctors, but in far better circumstances. I didn’t barge in their office.”
“I hope that you have a good time here, it’s a great environment, and everyone working here is
welcoming.” Taehyung gestures around, tilting his head when the other only quietly looks at him
with a smile. “Are you alright?” he checks.
“Pardon me if this is rude, or if you’re not interested, but… could I get your number?” Minjae asks
with a charming smile, and Taehyung takes an unconscious step backwards.
“Oh, I have a boyfriend.” Taehyung informs. “I’m in a very serious relationship, so I’m not looking
for anything.” he offers him an awkward smile, fiddling a little with his jacket. “I-I hope that you
don’t take this rudely, and I can give you my number if it’s in a professional, friendly way, but I’m
truly not interested or looking for anyone.” he tries to elaborate when Minjae doesn’t say anything,
and he hates that he even feels like he has to justify himself.
“That’s ok. I’ll still take your number, yes, in a friendly way. We should hang out sometime, I
don’t know anyone in the city.” Minjae nods, and they both turn to the door when someone knocks.
“Hey, we’ve already met.” he points.
“And I see that you’ve met Taehyung already.” Namjoon smiles, walking in. “I was thinking about
going somewhere after dinner with a few colleagues, and inviting Minjae to go with us. Did he tell
you that he moved from far away? He doesn’t know anyone, so it would be nice.”
Taehyung doesn’t even consider it. “I’d love to tag along, but I have to be home when Jungkook
calls me tonight. I’m sorry, but I really can’t… I can’t miss his call.” he explains, looking directly
at his friend, knowing that Namjoon understands exactly what he means.
“That slipped my mind, crap. I’m sorry, I completely understand that, and I’d never even
encourage you to miss Jungkook’s call to join us. Your time is very limited now…”
“I’m lost, who’s Jungkook? Is that your boyfriend?” Taehyung nods. “Where is he?”
“He’s away.” he dismisses. “For work, that is.”
“Ah, right.” Minjae nods. “Well, we can all hang out some other day, maybe during the evening so
that you don’t miss… the call.” he gestures mindlessly. “It’d be fun.”
“Yeah, of course.” Namjoon agrees. “Can we talk after work, Tae? I have a few questions to ask
you, and I’d like to know when we can… see Jungkook. You know.” he tries to explain it as
discreetly as possible when in front of a new person.
“Of course, we can talk.”
│►
“If you’re comfortable telling me about it, you can go on.” Taehyung gestures with his free hand,
the other resting over the notepad so that he can write down whatever needed. “I know that it’s
hard for you to talk about this topic, so you can also just dismiss this question for now.”
“Thank you, Mr. Kim.” the younger boy says, looking down at his dirty shoes; a style preference,
he had said once. “I’m going to sound like every teenager ever, though. I know that much.”
“Well, you’re a teenager, so you shouldn’t be concerned about sounding like one.” he assures with
a little smile. “We were all teenagers once, we all go through that phase. I won’t judge.”
“Uhm… My parents are going through their divorce, right, and it’s— it’s so messy. I know that my
dad’s garbage, and I know that he’s mean to my mom, so I know that I should support this
divorce…Which is why I feel really freaking bad for not wanting it to happen. I feel bad for my
little brother.” he explains, resting back on his chair. “Does it sound stupid? It probably does…”
“We all deal with things differently. What would be my reaction, won’t necessarily be yours, or be
similar to someone else’s. That doesn’t mean that one is wrong, and one is right, it’s just the way
that you, and I, and every individual deals with their problems. I’m not here to agree or disagree
with your emotions.” Taehyung explains as he quickly writes down what he finds the most
important from what the boy has just shared. “How have you been coping with it?”
“A couple of friends and I have been sneaking out of school.” he admits, looking down. “We have
a friend who’s in college, and he gets us drinks, since we’re all underage, and it helps. I can
understand why some people love alcohol so much, it really helps forgetting…”
Taehyung’s mind begins to wander on its own, and Jungkook’s all that he can think of. He’s
reminded of the time, months ago, that Jungkook would be the one sitting across from him on that
very same chair, and telling him the smallest details about his life. He remembers being so invested
already, always so captivated by Jungkook’s thoughts, and his way of seeing things.
He’s taken back to the day that Jungkook first told him about his alcohol problems, much less
willingly than the young boy in front of him now, but much more conscious about the gravity of
the situation, and embarrassed of it. Taehyung still has a hard time wrapping his head around the
fact that that Jungkook, quiet and reserved, is the same one that grew to be so honest and open with
him — the same one that he now loves and admires so much.
Going from those thoughts to just simply missing his boyfriend takes him a split second, and he
finds it impossible not to think back to how it all started. It’s all a little insane, remembering how
much everything changed. Everything took a drastic change for the better.
“…even if I know that it’s not really responsible to do.” Taehyung snaps out of his thoughts,
focusing on the patient in front of him. He was so distracted thinking about Jungkook that he didn’t
even hear what the boy was telling him. “You look distracted, doc.”
“I’m not.” Taehyung lies. “I was simply thinking of an approach.” he tries, and he’s happy to
realize that the boy believes him. “Do tell me more about it.” he feels guilty due to how hard he
finds it to focus from then on, but he does his absolute best to listen to every word. “Go on.”
“My mom found out about me drinking, but she has so much to worry about that she didn’t really
care… or did, but couldn’t find it in herself to do anything about it. Which is good, because I
wasn’t planning on stopping. Drinking is fun… and helps.” the boy shrugs, and Taehyung can tell
from his posture that he doesn’t realize the risks of becoming addicted.
“Let me tell you a story.” Taehyung puts his notepad down, and the patient’s eyes widen with
curiosity. “I have a… friend, a close friend of mine; his situation is nothing like yours, but he found
drinks to be an escape, too, when he was around your age. A year or two older, but a teenager
nonetheless, and that’s what matters.”
“Is this one of those fake stories that are just meant to touch my heart?” Taehyung raises an
eyebrow. “You’re not my first therapist, and I’ve heard many fake stories that all sounded the
same… You guys aren’t that creative with that.” he accuses. “Only little details changed.”
“I can assure you that this story is a hundred percent real.” Taehyung lifts his hands up in
surrender, chuckling. “He’s a really close friend, and he’s very special to me.”
“Okay… Go on.” the boy encourages.

“He found refuge in alcohol when he was your age. He’s twenty-eight right now, and drinking
became… a pillar in his life. I mean, not being able to function without it for more than a few
hours.” Taehyung shares. “He’s currently in rehab, and he may be a grown-up, older than both of
us, but it’s still terrifying to be there. Not only for him, but for everyone around him, including me.
I’m sure that you don’t want that in your life, and you may think that you’re just doing it for the
fun of it, or because it gets your mind off of it for a while, but alcohol is something that you get
dependent on before you even realize it.”
The emotion behind his voice, and the sudden seriousness in his eyes make it more than obvious
that the story isn’t fabricated. “I’m— I’m sorry about your friend, and I’m sorry for you and
whoever is going through this situation, but I don’t drink every day. I know how to control it…” he
says, looking down at his fidgeting hands. “I can handle it.”
“You’re seventeen. You think that you have things under control, because every teenager believes
that, but trust me, kid, addictions aren’t something to play with. I’m not supposed to be so direct
with my approaches, but you’re so young, and you have so much potential, so much life ahead of
you… I don’t want you to lose yourself with this.”
“You’re getting me all emotional here, doc.” the boy awkwardly laughs, rubbing his hands
together. “I don’t want that for myself, I just don’t know how to deal with things when this was all
so sudden in our lives… I need help dealing with— stuff.”
“And that’s why you’re here.” Taehyung gets his notepad again. “I want to help you improve,
rather than being just one more name in your list of previous therapists. We’re going to work on
understanding you and everything that goes up in there, alright? What you did today was already
amazing, you took many steps forward by being so honest with me.”
“I just hate the thought of being a disappointment or— or a burden in other people’s lives. Not
even my parents care anymore, they’re too busy fighting with this whole back-and-forth of a
relationship.” Taehyung has to almost fight himself not to let his mind drift back into thinking
about Jungkook upon the similarity of the words used.
Something that he’s always prided himself on is his ability to separate his personal life and his
work, but he’s finding it very hard to do since he’s had to say goodbye to his boyfriend. He misses
him so much that the littlest thought of him triggers an entire spiral of distracting thoughts.
He knew that being away from Jungkook would be hard, he just didn’t know that it would be this
hard — hard to the point of coming in between his work performance.
“Now you’re definitely distracted.” he’s brought back once again by an amused laugh.
“I’m not, I was thinking.” Taehyung lies with a smile. “Continue what you were saying.” he
gestures for him to go on, forcing his mind to properly focus. He can’t allow himself to start
lacking at work, much less during sessions with his patients.
│►
“Hey, Taehyung.” he hears, so he quickly turns around before he gets to open his car’s door to get
in. “Can we have a word? It will be fast.” Namjoon requests, and Taehyung slams a hand on his
own forehead, having forgotten their agreement to see each other after work.
“Yes, of course. I forgot that we were supposed to chat. I’m sorry.”
“Oh, none of that. I just wanted to ask you how he’s doing. I know that it’s only been a few days
since he’s been there, but the first ones are the toughest to go through, so I’ve been a little worried
about him.” his coworker asks, and Taehyung leans against his car with a sigh.
“It’s not easy, and the distance isn’t good, either, but he’s starting to get his withdrawals, and that’ll
be the worst part of being there. The next couple of days are bound to be hell for him, so I just
hope that he finds them to be… uhm, I suppose bearable. Once this phase passes, he’ll only get
better, and that’s the relieving part.” he shrugs. “I’m visiting him in three days. I can’t wait.”
“That’s very good to hear.” Namjoon nods. “How are you holding up? It can’t be nice for you,
either… You live together, and suddenly he’s gone. How are you dealing with that?” the question
makes Taehyung look down at his shoes, his expression closing off. “C’mon, talk to me.”
“I feel lonely without him at home. I have the pets and all, but it feels wrong to go to bed without
him, or at least without the knowledge that he’d join me in a few. I even hate the littlest things,
such as going to the supermarket and being unable to either text him or call him to ask whether he
wants something or not, or— or seeing a funny video during my break, and being unable to send it
to him. It sucks, and I hate the distance, but this is the best thing that he could ever do to himself,
so I feel selfish for even complaining…”
“It’s not selfish of you, Tae. I think that it’s very reasonable and understandable. He’s your
boyfriend, and you were used to being with him every day, so having him suddenly pulled away
from him should be expected to have a negative impact on you both. It would even be a bad sign if
you weren’t feeling like this. It just shows how much you two love each other.”
“It almost affected one of my sessions…” Taehyung admits, guilty. “Alcoholism was mentioned,
and I just couldn’t stop thinking about Jungkook… It was hard to focus on what I should.”
“We might be professionals, but we’re also human. Sometimes it’s hard to keep things separated,
and this is a really sensitive topic right now. I’m not surprised that you’re finding it hard to stay
focused…” Namjoon scratches the back of his neck. “But, as a friend and a coworker, I advise you
to find a way to separate the two before you start feeling like you’re not doing the job right, and
it’ll make you feel even worse.”
“I know. I know, Joon, I’m doing my best.” he guarantees. “Also, didn’t you want to know when
you can visit him? I believe that it’d do him good to see you, as well.”
“Yes, thank you for reminding me. I want to know how visitations work, because I wish to see him
at least once a month… as a friend, and as a therapist. We both know how hard it is for him to start
opening up to people, so I doubt that he’s going to talk to any therapist there.”
“Oh, I don’t think that he will, either. He should, but I highly doubt it.” Taehyung agrees. “The
visitations are open for two hours on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and only one or two people can go
per visitation. We decided that I’ll be going alone every Tuesday, because— you know, we long
for each other the hardest, and we wanted a day for ourselves…”
“That’s more than fair, yes. What about Thursdays? Does it rotate?”
“Yeah, you can all rotate, and we’ll see each week who goes there to see him. One of his friends
actually gave the idea to create a group chat for us to be able to text and easily communicate
regarding that.” he explains. “Since you’re interested, I’ll add you. We have also used it to share
updates, because Jungkook tends to call me and then doesn’t reply to anyone else.”
Namjoon laughs. “That sounds like him and, yes, add me to the group chat, please. It’s a great idea
to share updates about him there, so that everyone is on the same page.”
“Mhm, it’s good, and it’s been working. We’re all just trying to be there for him…”
“That’s what he needs the most right now.” Namjoon pats Taehyung’s shoulder. “I won’t hold you
back any longer, that’s all that I wanted to ask you. I’ll see you on Monday.”
“It’s all good. Have a nice weekend.”
│►
Jihoon rolls over in bed when he’s woken up by some noise, and he tries to tune it out and ignore it
but, when the sound continues, he has to lift his head up to try to understand what it is, even if with
only one of his eyes open. He gasps as he realizes that the sounds are coming from his roommate
who doesn’t stop trashing in bed, sweat glistening on his skin.
“Hey.” Jihoon calls. “Jungkook, hey.” it doesn’t seem to be enough to wake Jungkook up, so he
turns the lamp on and gets up from his bed to walk towards the other’s. “Hey, wake up.” he nudges
him, only then noticing the crease between Jungkook’s brows, the tears on his cheeks.
Jungkook’s awake, he concludes.
“Can you speak?” Jungkook shakes his head, hugging his own abdomen. “But you can hear me
well, right?” the younger man nods with little strength, and Jihoon quickly runs off to the bathroom
to soak a towel with cold water to place over Jungkook’s burning forehead. “I’m going to call
someone, hang in there.”
“It hurts…” Jihoon can hear him mumble that along with some other incoherent words, and it
makes him sigh. He knows how much it hurts, he’s been there a few times himself, and it’s the
worst part when it comes to rehab. It hurts just as much to watch it happen to someone else.
“I told you that they get worse, but they go away.” he assures, before running out of the room.
Jungkook tries to lift his arm up, tries to reach for his phone so that he can call Taehyung, hear his
sweet and comforting voice telling him that he’ll be ok, but it hurts. Moving hurts, breathing hurts,
everything hurts too much. The first withdrawal was bad, but nothing could’ve prepared him for
this second one. He can’t move, speak, can’t do anything.
He just lies there with the cold towel making him shiver despite how high his body temperature is,
until his roommate comes back with two nurses. “Hi, Jungkook.” one of them says, and he can
recognize him from the previous night. “Can you hear us? We need you to tell us if—”
“It fucking hurts.” Jungkook manages to say in a broken voice. “Make it stop.”
Jihoon steps back, biting down on his nails as he watches the two male nurses helping him up from
the bed, and it pains him to see his roommate groaning in pain with each step that he has to take to
get out of there. He’s seen this happen to multiple roommates that he’s had, and it doesn’t get any
easier.
He sits on his bed, sleepiness all gone. He could text Jungkook’s boyfriend, but he has no idea of
what the password to unlock his phone is, so he doesn’t. With a sigh, he lies down with his fingers
crossed over his stomach, trying not to think too much so that he can sleep.
Everyone has to go through that first stage to get better. Jungkook is no exception.
│►
Chapter End Notes
The reason behind the angst has been introduced in this update,,,, let's discuss
◄│ 72 │►
Chapter Notes
Jungkook inhales sharply before pushing himself off of the wall that he’s been leaning against for
almost a minute now, and it’s hard to steady himself. The cafeteria is only a few meters away at
this point so he coaches himself to get there, even if each step hurts, even if the strength needed to
walk makes the pressure on his torso worse, his stomach at the brink of exploding.
The withdrawal that he experienced the night before has got to be the worst pain that he’s ever felt
in his life, and he’s still not completely recovered from it, but he was tired of staring at the dull
white walls of the nurse’s office. He could feel himself going mad, so he had to leave.
He doesn’t get any food, only sits alone at a table with his head resting on his arms. He could’ve
just gone to his bedroom and slept the whole morning, maybe even the whole day, and rest for as
long as possible, but his roommate would definitely call one of the nurses and he can’t possibly let
them take him today. Not when Taehyung’s visiting him in a few hours.
“You look terrible.” he lifts his head, only to see the annoying young man that tried to get pills
from him, now sitting in front of him with a smug look.
“What the fuck do you want?” Jungkook asks. He doesn’t want anything to do with him, or the
pills that he’s so interested in. He’d be better off with no interaction at all, really.
“Hey, chill.” he chuckles, lifting his hands in surrender. “I just want to help you out, man. I’ve
been there before, and I’m… let’s say, looking out for you.” the younger man shrugs, leaning
closer on the table as he tries to get his point across.
“And, as you can see, I’m not in the mood for this shit. Go straight to the point and say what you
want, or get the actual fuck out.” Jungkook gestures to another table, and the other sits up
straighter, contemplating what to say. “Hurry the fuck up. You’re wasting my time.”
“Again, I just want to help you, man.” he repeats. “This one was the hardest that you’ve had so far,
wasn’t it? I can see it in your face…” Jungkook remains silent; it was. “I can help you with all of
this… I won’t even charge you for the first one, it’s on me. A gift.” the young man says with his
hand on his chest, as though he’s doing a great act of kindness and courtesy. “As long as you help
me afterwards, of course… I’ll give you something, and you’ll give me something.”
“I remember vividly telling you to fuck off the first time.”
“I bet that you’re still in pain, aren’t you? It still feels like shit, right?” again, Jungkook doesn’t say
anything, jaw clenched. “I’m offering you a way out… Give it a minute or two, all of this pain is
gone. You’re not ready for this shit, man, you can try later.” he tries to manipulate is mind into
following his train of thought. “You have months in here, still. You can try later. What have you
got to lose right now, other than letting go of pain and suffering?”
Jungkook takes a hand to his own stomach when he feels a sting so hard that it almost makes him
flinch. It does hurt. It hurts so much that it’s almost unbearable, and he could say yes.
“I help many guys here to get their stuff when they’re here against their will, and I can help you
out. You help me, and I’ll give you daily…” Jungkook tunes out, his fist closing tightly under the
table when the pain strikes again all over his body this time around.
He really could say yes.
“What do you say?” he looks up.
“I…” Jungkook stops, hesitating. He wants the pain to be gone, he wants it all to stop, but the
second that Taehyung’s face flashes in the back of his mind, he realizes how wrong it is to even
consider such a thing. He can’t possibly say yes. He’s there to get better, to do something good for
once in his life, not to create another problem for himself and those around him.
He can’t say yes.
“Get the fuck out.” is what he says, expression darkening when the other doesn’t move. “Leave
immediately or I’m going to tell someone. Leave me the fuck alone. I don’t want anything to do
with you, those pills, or your dirty little schemes. You’re ruining people’s lives by doing this, and I
do not want to be another name on your list. Get the f—”
“Hey, hey, I get it.” Jungkook watches him as he finally gets up. “You know where to find me in
case you change your mind.” he reminds. “My name is—”
“I don’t fucking care. Go. Now.” he almost growls his words out, and he knows how intimidating
he can be when angry, and he’s thankful for that now. As the young man walks away, another
person slides on the table to sit next to him; his posture relaxes. It’s the same lady that has been
sitting next to him during all of the meals, even if they don’t talk much or at all.
“Was he giving you a hard time…?” she asks. “He will back off in a week or so. He always goes
for the new people, because you’re still dealing with the temptation... It’s still very fresh for you,
and he knows that, so he uses it against you.”
“Was he this annoying with you, too?”
“Oh, no. I’m old, and he doesn’t come to us. Thankfully.” she lets out a little laugh that he joins in,
only to groan in pain, resting his head down on his arms atop the table. “Are you ok?”
“Don’t make me laugh…” he almost whines. “It makes absolutely everything hurt.”
The lady sighs, sympathetic, taking a hand to his back to rub reassuring circles. “Push right through
it, kiddo. It sucks, and it hurts, but it gets better… We’ve all been there.” she reassures with a little
smile. Jungkook remains quiet, wishing for her words to be true.
He can’t wait for it to get better.
│►
Jungkook looks up at the clock on his bedside table, a smile spreading on his lips once he realizes
that he can already get going. He rushes to get out of bed, positively ignoring the pain that it
provokes all over his body. “Where are you going? You should rest, Jungkook.” his roommate
calls from his own bed, putting his book down. “Go back to bed.”
“No, Taehyung must be arriving anytime now.” Jungkook informs. “I’ll meet him now, and then
I’ll try to sleep a little more. Thanks for worrying about me, but don’t worry.” Jihoon sighs, once
again grabbing his book. Jungkook doesn’t think twice before turning on his heels and leaving.
He wants to run there, but it hurts to walk, so he can’t imagine having the necessary strength to
actually run to the visitor’s room. If he were to fall down or, worse, pass out, one of the nurses
would take him and he can’t possibly ruin his chance to see Taehyung today. So, he walks in quick
strides while also being careful.
His eyes shine — he can physically feel them light up — when he gets to the room and spots that
familiar blonde hair. Taehyung’s sitting on one of the round tables by himself, typing something on
his phone, and Jungkook quickly walks the distance between them.
Jungkook bends down. “Hi, my love.” he whispers by his ear, positively starting his boyfriend. It
makes him chuckle, but he steps away so that Taehyung can get up; there’s a pair of arms around
him the very next second, squeezing him impossibly tight.
“Oh, my God—” Taehyung tries to say, but stops himself, only squeezing him harder. “I’ve missed
you so much, hyungie, my God!” he pulls back, cupping both sides of Jungkook’s cheeks as the
latter’s hands find their place on his waist. “I can’t believe that I’m seeing you.” he squishes the
soft skin between his palms, making Jungkook’s lips pucker out like a fish.
“I’ve missed you just as much.” Jungkook speaks through the pout, pulling his boyfriend closer by
the hips. “Give me a kiss, will you…” he whispers. “I’ve missed your lips way too much.”
“Oh, you want a kiss?” he whispers back, their lips mere centimeters apart. Jungkook hums,
leaning in. Taehyung giggles before kissing him, their lips fitting together perfectly as they’ve
always done. Jungkook moves his hands to the small of Taehyung’s back, keeping him as close as
possible. The kiss isn’t rushed but is urgent, they’ve missed each other too much not to let their
tongues toy with each other right away, eyes closed and enjoying the proximity.
Unfortunately, they have to pull away when they hear a forced cough next to them; one of the staff
members offers them a sympathetic smile, as he just wants to keep everything under control.
Jungkook wants to glare at him, but he doesn’t. Instead, he hugs Taehyung again.
“You smell so good, hyung…” Taehyung comments, not at all shy as he sniffs right under the
elder’s ear. “I’ve missed your perfume so badly. You smell so good.” he pouts.
“Thank you, baby.” Jungkook chuckles, which almost makes him wince in pain. “You smell
heavenly, too.” the blonde giggles, pulling back so that they can sit down. They sit right next to
each other, their hands linked. He can almost hear his body thanking him once he relaxes.
Taehyung notices it, but decides not to comment on it for now. “How have you been doing over
here? I know that we talk every day, but— but it’s different like this. I want to really hear you
talking, I’ve missed your voice.” he admits, his cheeks a little flushed, and Jungkook sighs.
“It’s… It isn’t the greatest. People are nice, the nurses are very helpful and they’re always ready to
just take us in, but this entire thing sucks. Jihoon says that it’s normal to have two or three big
withdrawals, and I’ve already had five, and it just fucking sucks. I’m in pain the whole day, and it
just doesn’t feel good at all. Last night was so bad that I couldn’t even speak. If I didn’t have a
roommate, I wouldn’t have been able to call for help, and—” Jungkook stops when he looks back
to his boyfriend and sees the distressed look on Taehyung’s face. “Don’t worry, it’s fine, I’ll get
through this…” he immediately reassures. “The nurses have told me that the longer you’ve had the
addiction, the more withdrawals you’ll have, so I’ll take their word for it. I’m ok.”
“I know that you’ll get through this, baby, you’re the strongest person that I’ve ever met.” the
blonde says with a little smile, tucking a strand of hair behind Jungkook’s ear. “And, you know,
you can tell me if it’s hurting, if it sucks. You can tell me. It worries me, but I want to support you
through this whole thing… You don’t have to hide your pain from me.” he whispers the last
sentence, caressing the other’s cheek. “I’m here for you.”
“I know.” Jungkook whispers back. “It’s getting better.” he half-lies, but sighs when Taehyung
reaches for his shaky hands. His forced smile slips from his lips, and he knows that his boyfriend
can read right through him, so he already knows that Taehyung can see his pain, his uneasiness.
“Are you ok, hyungie? What are you feeling?” he asks.
“Can we just go outside, please? This place feels crowded.” Jungkook requests.
“Are you sure that I can go outside with you?” Taehyung checks.
“Yeah, there’s an area outside only for visitors…” Jungkook assures, taking Taehyung’s hand in
his before standing up and leading him out through one of the sliding doors. There aren’t many
people there, as the visitors prefer staying inside, but they walk as far from everyone else as
possible before sitting down on the grass. Jungkook sits between Taehyung’s open legs, resting
back against his chest with his eyes closed and letting out a tired sigh.
“What’s hurting, hyung?”
“I don’t even know… My abdomen hurts a lot from all the puking, and— I don’t know, my head
hurts like a motherfucker. My whole body feels weird.” Jungkook admits, resting his head back on
Taehyung’s shoulder. “I feel cold as shit, but I’m pretty sure that I’m burning.” he adds.
Taehyung’s eyebrows knit together in worry, and he takes a gentle hand to Jungkook’s forehead to
check his temperature. He’s sweating, his hair already a little wet from it, and his skin feels a little
too hot to the touch. “You have a fever.” he whispers, carefully dabbing at his skin with his sleeve
to remove the sweat. “How did they let you out of the nurses’ office if you were unwell?”
“Well… I knew that you were coming, and I couldn’t be in the nurse’s office by the time that you
got here.” Jungkook starts, lifting up his arms to allow the other to circle his torso; Taehyung then
starts to carefully massage his abdomen through his shirt. “They would tell you to go back home if
I were still there, and I couldn’t possibly not see you today. So, I told them that I was feeling well,
and have been feeling like shit the whole day. But I get to see you, so it’s worth it.”
“Baby, your health comes first… What if you fainted in my arms? I’d have a stroke.” Jungkook lets
out a little laugh that makes that same uneasy feeling in his stomach strike again through his whole
body; his laugh then turns into a quiet cry. “You should… uhm, go back there…”
“No.” he hurries. “I will only get to see you again in a week, that’s too fucking long. I want to stay
here with you every single second that we have available. I’m not dying, I’m just not feeling that
great.” Taehyung sighs, torn. On one hand, he wants Jungkook to go back inside and get help to
feel better, but on the other, he also wants to stay with him for as long as possible.
“Then I’ll be personally dropping you off at the nurses’ office on my way out.” Taehyung offers,
and Jungkook can only nod as he closes his eyes. The blonde starts, once again, wiping his
boyfriend’s sweaty forehead before kissing his cheek in a loud smooch. “Tell me if it gets too
much, okay? I can’t let you stay here if it’s too bad…”
“Okay, I’ll tell you.” Jungkook agrees, and they both fall silent. Taehyung continues massaging
Jungkook’s abdomen, which helps to a certain extent. “Enough about me.” he says after a minute
in complete silence. “Tell me about your days, tell me about how you’ve been doing since I left… I
want to hear it in person, I miss your voice.” and Taehyung almost sighs, because he understands
that feeling so well. They talk on the phone every day, but it’s just not the same thing as hearing
Jungkook’s voice in person; his beautiful voice.
“I can’t lie and say that my days haven’t felt really… dull without you. I’m so used to being with
you all the time, that I’m realizing that this time apart will also show us, I don’t know, how to kind
of function without each other. Not that it’s a bad thing that we’re always together, but we never
had a period of dating and living apart. This is good to us— I mean, I still wish that the situation
was completely different, but I hope that you understand what I’m trying to say…”
“Yeah… I agree with that.” Jungkook nods, his body shaking a little. Taehyung kisses his cheek
right away, hugging him a little closer to share his warmth. “I miss you like absolute fuck, but I
guess that it’ll get easier eventually.” Taehyung nods, agreeing. “But, please, go on, love.”
“Uhm… Jimin and Hobi are focusing on the various preparations for their wedding, so I haven’t
seen or talked to them much… I go to text you sometimes, and then remember that you’re not
there, so that sucks. I’ve just been feeling lonely, I guess.” Taehyung admits. “I go to work and
return home… and it’s empty. The weekend wasn’t eventful at all.”
“You have other friends, baby, you should go out, enjoy yourself. I don’t want to imagine you
being so lonely by yourself. It pains me to think of that.” Jungkook looks at him. “I don’t like it.”
“I pushed my friends away while being with Hyungsik… I only kept in contact with Jimin because
he was the only one that Hyungsik approved off. Honestly, Hoseok was only able to stick around
because they’re dating.” he starts, chewing on the inside of his cheek. “I’ll eventually reach out to
people, fix our friendships, but I haven’t figured out how to do that yet.”
“You’re a breath of fresh air in everyone’s life, and I’m not saying this because I love you, I say it
because I mean it. Even if your friends are hurt due to the way that you cut off the strings, I’m sure
that they’ll happily receive you with open arms whenever you see fit to reach out to them.”
Jungkook says, squeezing Taehyung’s thigh. “And I hope that you know this without me having to
say it, but in case you don’t: you don’t need my approval for your friends. As long as they’re good
people and treat you well, I don’t have anything to do with that.”
“I know, hyungie.” Taehyung nods with a little smile. “I know that you’d never—” he’s interrupted
by Jungkook letting out a loud hiss, hugging his own torso. “Breathe, hyungie, it’s okay, you’re
okay.” he tries to reassure him, whispering quietly against his cheek. “It’s okay.”
“I’m so sorry, Tae. I’m ruining our time together, I’m really fucking sorry.” Jungkook turns his
head to the side to face his boyfriend, and Taehyung’s heart aches in his chest at the look of pure
guilt in the elder’s eyes. “I’m so sorry.” he repeats.
“Don’t apologize, silly. You’re not ruining anything, I’m so happy just by seeing your handsome
face, hyung.” Taehyung reassures, pushing Jungkook’s bangs away. “I’m so proud of you for
getting through this, you’re not ruining anything… Just talk to me, tell me about this place.”
“Well… That drug addict that I told you about still hasn’t left me alone, and uhm, today I was
tempted to say yes.” he turns towards Taehyung again, waiting for a reaction, but there’s no trace
of judgement, only silent questions. “The pain is fucking unbearable, and I just want it to go away.
I thought of saying yes, I did, but I thought of you… So, I told him to fuck right off.”
Taehyung hums, kissing him on the lips this time; despite the weird angle, it still warms their
chests immensely. “Life is a constant battle against temptations, hyung, especially for people who,
unfortunately, end up being victims of addiction. You’re a smart man, you’re responsible and
you’re mature. Don’t ever forget that.” he cups Jungkook’s jaw, caressing it. “No matter what
temptations this place gives you, it’s up to you to fight them off. I trust you to do that, and I need
you to trust yourself. You know what you’re here for, and you know what your goal is.”
Jungkook sits up, with Taehyung’s help, to face him properly. He takes his hand to the blonde’s
cheek, thumbing at it ever so carefully, gently, before leaning in for a kiss that lasts a few long
seconds. “You always know what to say.” he whispers against his lips, kissing them one more time.
“Have I told you that I missed you yet?” they both giggle.
“You’ll be out before you know it.” Taehyung reassures, kissing his cheek.
They pull away, their hands still linked. “It’s been less than a week and I’m already fed up. There’s
a junky following me, my roommate doesn’t let me breathe without calling the nurses on me, the
therapists in the activities are so overly positive that they look like fucking sociopaths… And the
worst part of it all: I miss you so goddamn much.” Jungkook rants in a whiny voice.
“Things get worse before they get better, you know that. You’re the strongest person that I’ve ever
met, and I’ve met a lot of people. You’ll get through this, hyung, just let yourself get used to this
environment, and then the days will fly past you.” he takes his hand to Jungkook’s forehead to
check his temperature again; it’s still warm, but not as hot anymore.
Jungkook grabs his wrist, pulling the hand away to kiss his palm. “At least I haven’t had any
nightmares since I got here… not even the naps that I sometimes take in the afternoon.” he smiles,
a little proud of himself for sharing a good thing, at last.
“That’s incredible, hyung, I mean it.” Taehyung smiles, big and honest. “It’s such a relief to know
that you’re able to properly rest your head at night all by yourself now, without needing me or any
substance to put you out of it…” he brings their intertwined hands up to kiss Jungkook’s knuckles,
but his boyfriend’s expression shift into a bothered look. “What’s wrong?”
“Why did they stop?” Jungkook asks, and the blonde only tilts his head in confusion, waiting for
him to elaborate. “The nightmares just— stopped. Why did they just stop?” Taehyung worries at
his bottom lip, unsure of what to say. “My love, this is your field, please help me understand it,
because it’s something that has been on my mind for days now. Please.”
“I mean… It could be because we’ve successfully battled them for months. We’ve been sleeping
side by side for months, and we’ve kept your nightmares away ever since we started sharing the
bed. You could’ve simply gotten over them, you may— We don’t even know what exactly was
causing them, to begin with. To know for sure, we’d have to have made experiments, we’d have to
have found out the reason behind them to know how and when, and why they stated. There is a lot
to this, hyung, it’s not just one simple question.” Taehyung sighs. “I really don’t want to answer a
question like this, because I feel like I’m lying just to give you some sort of reassurance, and that
has never happened. I don’t lie to you, and never will, so don’t ask me this, hyungie, as I don’t
want to tell you something that might not be true.”
“I’m just scared that they’ll come back if I stop doing something that I don’t even know about…”
“What did you usually dream about? Your dad, right?” Jungkook nods. Taehyung takes a hand to
his black hair, stroking it back gently. “My only advice is to remember what has helped you
before… If talking to me helps, then you know that I’m one phone call away, and I’ll always talk
you to sleep.” he says, but stops, tilting his head. “But you’ve been able to sleep peacefully during
your naps, so I genuinely don’t think that you need me anymore. It’s all in you.”
Jungkook remains quiet for a few seconds, processing it. “If my nightmares came from the trauma
that my dad left, shouldn’t they only leave if I got over it? As much as I’m better and functional
now, I don’t feel like I’m over it. And— And isn’t it true that you can only get over trauma if you
kind of forget what happened? Because I haven’t forgotten anything that my dad did to me and my
mom and sister. I—”
Taehyung places a gentle finger over his lips, effectively interrupting him. “I don’t know. I really
wish that I had answers to everything, I wish that I could give you answers, but I can’t. I’m sorry.”
The elder deflates. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you with this.”
“You’re not bothering me, hyung, you could never bother me. I just don’t have the answers to this.
You’ve helped me get over the trauma that Hyungsik left, but that doesn’t mean that I forgot about
what happened so, no, you don’t have to forget the events in order to get over them.” Taehyung
explains. “I wish that I could give you the answers that you need, but you’re much more complex
than you can imagine.” Jungkook frowns. “It’s ok to be complex, I don’t mean it in a negative way,
it just means that there’s no black and white and it comes to you. It’s not yes or no, it’s not— it’s
not simple. I can’t put things simple for you, because you’re not simple. This up here—” he taps
Jungkook’s forehead. “—isn’t simple.”
Jungkook chuckles, and his smile looks a lot more honest now, more vivid. “Is that a textbook nice
way of saying that I’m a fucking mess?”
“Oh, no.” the blonde tsks. “You’ve just been through a lot, and it made you be someone with many
layers. The fact that you’re even this sane is admirable.” he praises, placing a sweet kiss on the
bridge of Jungkook’s nose. “You’re not a mess… Now, come back here.”
“I love you.” Jungkook whispers as he scoots back into Taehyung’s open arms.
Taehyung smiles. “I love you, hyung.”
│►
They stop by the nurses office, exactly where Taehyung promised to drop him off before leaving,
and turn to each other with sad smiles. “So… I have to leave you again.” Taehyung says through a
small pout, taking a step closer. His head hangs when he feels tears invading his eyes, and his hand
fists Jungkook’s shirt in a futile attempt to ground himself.
“My love, c’mon, don’t cry.” Jungkook quickly says, gently tilting Taehyung’s head back up. “I
don’t want to see tears in your beautiful eyes, or I’ll start crying, and then I’ll never stop.” he says,
making the younger man let out a quiet chuckle. “I only want to see smiles on your face.”
“I’m smiling, I’m smiling…” Taehyung sniffs. “I’ll miss you.” he whispers, pulling Jungkook even
closer by the grip on his shirt. “I hate the thought of being away from you for another week…”
“We still have… eleven weeks to go through.” Jungkook smiles, sadly. “I’ll miss you like hell, but
don’t cry, please. I feel my heart being fucking— stabbed when I see you upset.” he says as he
pulls Taehyung for a hug, and they hold each other tightly. “I love you. I love you so much.”
“I love you more.” Taehyung whispers by his ear. “You better go see a nurse now.”
“I will.” Jungkook assures. “Promise to continue talking to me every night…” he whispers with his
cheeks dusted with a light shade of pink. “It’s what keeps me sane over here.”
“I will. Always.” Taehyung breaks the hug to join their lips. “Falling asleep to your voice is the
best thing in the world, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.” he smiles, pecking him once. “I can’t
have enough of you, hyungie…” he mumbles against his lips, and Jungkook holds him by the hips
when he tries to put some space between them at last.
The kiss, this time around, is longer, deeper, just like the ones shared outside.
Taehyung’s arms wind around Jungkook’s shoulders, twirling with his hair, and Jungkook’s hands
stay on Taehyung’s waist, keeping him close. “We really—” Jungkook tries to say, but initiates
another kiss instead. “I don’t think that we should be making out here.” he finally says, his lips still
so close that Taehyung feels them with every word. “I’m not complaining, but—” he’s interrupted
by the blonde kissing him again, and that’s enough for him to decide that he doesn’t care enough.
“Alright, fuck it.” he shrugs, pressing their lips together again.
Their tongues toy with each other, heads tilting in different directions to deepen it.
Jungkook’s one second away from letting his hands start to roam when they hear a whistle that
makes them pull away. He rolls his eyes with a little smile; Jihoon walks at the other end of the
hallway, waving at them. Taehyung waves back, despite being confused and unsure of who that is.
“Don’t wave at him, he sucks.” Jungkook whispers.
Taehyung drops his arm. “Who was that? Is that the— drugs guy?”
Jungkook laughs. “No, that’s my roommate.”
“Hey, he doesn’t suck, he always helps you.” Taehyung scolds, poking Jungkook’s side. “You’re a
whole menace.” Jungkook lets out the most offended sound that he can fake, jaw hanging in
surprise. “I’m kidding, you’re an angel.”
“Damn right, I am.” Jungkook tsks. “Just kiss me again before someone tells us that we have to
separate.” he requests, meeting Taehyung halfway for another kiss. It’s short-lived this time, but
enough to make butterflies break loose in their stomachs. “Okay… I guess that it’s time…”
“Yeah…” Taehyung nods, taking a step back. “Please, go see a nurse right away.”
“I will.” Jungkook kisses his hand before letting go, and Taehyung gives him a little wave with the
biggest frown ever before turning on his heels to walk away. Jungkook watches him all the way
until he’s out of sight, only to let out a defeated sigh. He immediately feels lonely.
He has to pull himself together to knock twice on the door right by his side. As soon as he peeks
his head inside, his eyes lock with the nurse that gave him permission to leave that morning. It
makes him feel guilty for lying. “Jungkook?” the man stands up. “Come on in. What’s wrong?”
“I feel like shit.” Jungkook admits. “I’m sweating, but I’m cold as hell, and I’m pretty sure that my
fever still hasn’t gone down completely… Everything hurts.” he explains as he’s sat down, and he
does his best not to look at anyone else in the room so that he doesn’t feel embarrassed.
“When did you start feeling like this? You told me that you were ok just this morning.”
“I lied.” the nurse turns to him from where he’s searching for something in his drawers, and he
feels the need to explain himself. “We had visits today, and my boyfriend was coming to see me, so
I couldn’t possibly miss it by staying here just because I felt like shit.”
The man sighs. “I understand that you must miss him a lot, and distance is a hard thing to deal with
here, but you can’t play with your health like this. You can’t just lie to us. We’re trying to keep
your body healthy through this hard process.” he goes on, and Jungkook feels even worse for lying
to him. “Just don’t lie again, okay?”
“Yeah, I’m sorry.” when he’s faced with nothing but silence, he can’t help but to be a little
paranoid about it. He doesn’t want to make anyone angry, or upset anyone. “Listen, I’m sorry that I
lied, but— It’s really hard for me to be without him, and I couldn’t risk having him sent home
because I was here. I needed the hugs today, but I’m sorry for lying. I know that this is your job,
and I shouldn’t have compromised it.” he looks down.
“This isn’t about my job, it’s about your health. You can’t lie again because of your health, not
because you have to be careful about my job.” Jungkook frowns. “But don’t apologize so much,
you don’t have to feel bad about it. Just take care of yourself, and let us help you.”
“I felt well enough to leave.” Jungkook assures. “Hm, okay, I probably would’ve left even if I was
dying over here. That man means everything to me, more than my health.” he stretches his arm
when the nurse steps closer to wrap a blood pressure monitor around his bicep.
“That’s lovely, and all, but you can only have a boyfriend if you’re alive and well.”
Jungkook pauses. “You know, that’s a very good point.”
The nurse laughs quietly. “Just be still, we’ll take care of you now…”
│►
Jungkook sits down on his bed later that day, Taehyung’s picture already carefully placed next to
him so that he can imagine it talking to him while listening to his boyfriend’s voice. Jihoon returns
from the bathroom, smiling once he sees him. “Calling Taehyung?” he asks.
“Yeah.” Jungkook nods, already dialing Taehyung’s number. “He thought that you were the junky
that I told him about.” he decides to share, laughing at the offense in the other’s face.
“Do I look like a junky?!” Jihoon asks, and he only shrugs. “Hey, you—”
“Hi, baby.” he interrupts as the call gets through. “How was the ride home?” he asks, resting back
against the wall; his eyebrow raises at the commotion that he can hear in the back.
“It was okay— Babe, can you please tell me how to get your dog to eat?” Jungkook’s smile fades
right away. “She’s not sick or anything, please don’t worry, it’s just that she’s really sad. I’ve been
feeding her by the door for the past week, she even has her bed and water bowl here, because she
refuses to leave this spot… waiting for you.” Taehyung explains. “She’s refusing to eat today,
though, and I don’t know what to do…”
“She’s been sleeping by the front door?”
“Yeah, she’s been like this since you left. She’s waiting for her owner…” Jungkook can feel his
heart dropping to his stomach. “I try spending as much time as I can next to her, I even had dinner
and breakfast with her, sitting here on the floor, two or three times. What can I do about her not
eating today? I’ve tried everything, she doesn’t move.”
“Put her bowl back in the kitchen, love. We can’t create bad habits. She’s very smart but, if she
gets used to that, it might be really hard to break that habit once I get back.” Jungkook instructs,
and Taehyung hums before doing what he was told; he puts the bowls in the kitchen. “Now, please
put me on speaker, and go back to her. Maybe she’ll listen to me.”
“You’re on speaker now, babe.”
“Hey, girl.” Taehyung watches as the dog stands up from the floor so quickly that she trips on her
own paws. Moon sniffs the phone, not quite understanding why it sounds like her owner, and it
makes her bark, confused but excitedly wagging her tail from side to side.
“Can you tell her to eat or something? She hasn’t eaten all day, and I’m getting worried.” the
blonde speaks a little louder to be heard over her barks, lifting the phone so that she can’t reach it
anymore. “She recognized your tone, so you can talk to her…”
“Alright. Girl, you’re going to listen to me now. Sit down.” Taehyung frowns as he watches her
obey right away. “Good girl.” Jungkook compliments, assuming that she did it. “Go eat. Go eat
your food, c’mon. Go eat now.” he tells her.
Taehyung’s left staring at the kitchen door as the dog runs to do exactly what her owner instructed
her to do. “I’m seriously so offended that she’s obeying a phone, but didn’t even look at me
properly when I told her to go eat.”
“You know that I’m her actual father, she does what I tell her to do.” Jungkook smiles, proud of
how well he’s managed to train her. “Why didn’t you tell me that she was acting like this?”
“Because I know you, and I knew that you’d be worried and sad, so I tried to keep it under control
without having to tell you.” Taehyung sighs, putting the phone back against his ear as he sits down
on the couch. “You should start talking to her a little bit every day during our calls.”
“Yeah, I agree…” Jungkook sighs. “I don’t want to talk about this, I’m getting sad.”
“Well, then, tell me how you doing now. Did you go see a nurse once I left?”
“I did go right away, and I’m feeling better now.” he explains. “And, uhm, sorry… again, for
ruining our time together. I’m really sorry. You’ve already dealt with me feeling like shit so many
fucking times, today shouldn’t have been another one… I wish that I could’ve—”
“Hey, no.” Taehyung interrupts. “You were with me, I was able to hold you in my arms. We talked,
I was able to listen to your voice right by my ear, we could kiss… I’m so grateful for all of that,
you didn’t ruin anything.” Jungkook looks down. “The only thing that I’d change was your pain
because, otherwise, kissing and talking for two hours was great.”
“I hope that we get to kiss some more next time.” Jihoon makes an obnoxious puking sound that
makes Jungkook throw a pillow at him. “I already miss you, isn’t that so fucking stupid?”
“I mean… Nighttime is when I miss you the most, so I totally understand how you feel.” Taehyung
sighs. “I wish that you were here. You’re so cuddly, hyung.”
“Am I?” he chuckles. “No one has ever told me that before.”
“That’s because you don’t cuddle anyone.” Taehyung quickly accuses. “Your chest is so much
more comfortable than these pillows…”
“I can say the same thing about your butt.” Jungkook says with a smirk, and positively ignores the
side-eye that his roommate gives him. Taehyung groans on the other side, clearly embarrassed, and
imagining his boyfriend blushing makes Jungkook smile harder.
“I’m going to end the call.” Taehyung threatens.
Jungkook laughs. “No, please, don’t.”
│►
Chapter End Notes
I'm adding a new character in the next update... hehe

◄│ 73 │►
Chapter Notes
Jungkook stops his swift hand movements, looking at his canvas for a moment. It’s starting to look
like something, but he still doesn’t really like the tone of the paint that he’s using. It’s too warm,
but not warm enough, at the same time. He’s already messed up thrice when he tried mixing a little
bit of white — it gets too light, and that’s not what he’s looking for.
Taehyung’s skin has a beautiful, golden tan to it; it’s warm, not too light. Looking at the canvas,
his attentive eyes can so clearly see the difference between the paint and Taehyung’s skin, and he
hates it. Without the beautiful tan skin, it’s not Taehyung. He’s only painting part of his boyfriend,
not even attempting to draw his face as it’s far too gorgeous to get right, but he still wants it to be
perfect.
He huffs, a little frustrated, still mixing the paints together in a futile attempt to get the exact tone
that he needs. “Add a little bit of blue if you’re trying to make a skin tone. Only a touch, though, or
it’ll take over the whole mixture.” Jungkook turns to the side when he hears a female voice.
There’s a girl sitting on the nearest stool; she’s not painting, she’s just looking at his canvas in
curiosity. “I’m majoring in arts, so I thought that I should help you with that.” she adds.
“Thank you. I’d never think to add blue to a skin tone…” Jungkook smiles, reaching for the tube
of blue paint, but his eyes stray back to her when she giggles with a blush high on her cheeks and
tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. It makes him straighten up. He knows flirting when he sees it,
and last time that he got approached by a girl didn’t end well.
He got kissed against his will.
“The skin color that I made before was alright, but my boyfriend has a very distinct glow that I was
trying to capture since I’m going to gift him my paintings once I leave this place. You know, to
decorate our home a little.” he shares, putting emphasis on the fact that he’s taken.
The young woman’s shoulders sag, but her smile grows a little more confident. “I see.” she nods at
that. “He’s a very lucky man.” Jungkook only hums, focusing his attention back on the paint that
he’s still mixing together. “I hope that I didn’t weird you out too much with the fact that I was
sitting here watching you paint. You’ve probably heard this a lot already, but you’re really
attractive, and I saw you when I was walking past, so I uhm, I just wanted to try my luck by
coming in and saying hello.” she explains herself, and Jungkook sighs as he looks at her again.
“Thank you, really, but I’m a hundred percent not interested. I’m very, very happy in my
relationship, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.” the stranger straightens up, alarmed.
“Oh, no! No, no, don’t even explain yourself. You’re really attractive, but you’re taken, so I back
off. You don’t owe me an explanation, the fact that you have a partner is enough for me to respect
and step back.” the woman rushes to explain. “Besides, my flirting skills are a disaster, so I won’t
humiliate myself further. We can be buddies… Rehab buddies.” she offers.
“Yeah…” he says, a little hesitant; he can’t forget his classmate.
“Why do you look so nervous? I swear that I’ve already lost my second intentions here.”
“Last time that this happened, I was kissed against my will, so I have to be cautious.” Jungkook
explains with a little awkward laugh. “My classmate insisted that I had to give her a chance, even
though she knew that I’m taken. It was fucking aggravating.”
She rolls her eyes in annoyance as she drags her stool a little closer to take a better look at what
he’s painting. “Some girls are desperate as hell for male validation, and it’s both gross and sad to
witness. I’m sorry that it happened.” Jungkook blinks. “They should just try the other side and
leave uninterested men alone.”
Jungkook’s shoulders relax a little, coming to terms with the fact that she’s not a threat. “Not
everyone likes both sides.” he comments, and she gives him a curious and questioning look. “I do
like both sides, if that’s what you’re wondering. As of now, though, I only like my Taehyungie.”
“That’s adorable.” she places a hand over her chest. “And I have to say, those that don’t like both
sides are so missing out. It’s like Hannah Montana, you get the best of both worlds.” his face
morphs with confusion, and she gasps. “You don’t know who Hannah Montana is?!”
“I mean, I know who she is, but I don’t get the reference. I have never watched it. What even is it?
Is it a show, or a movie…? I have no clue, honestly.” he admits.
“God, you did not have a childhood.” she comments with no malice, and he chuckles.
“I didn’t, you’re right.” her smile falls, and Jungkook simply goes back to his painting as he tries
not to laugh at how awkward he senses her to be.
“I— Uhm, I’m sorry. I was joking, but now I have no clue of what to say.” Jungkook does laugh at
that, even if quietly. “I’ll just smoothly change the topic. I’m Nira, what’s your name?”
“I’m Jungkook.” she hums, leaning closer to the canvas. “It makes me a little conscious to be
painting in front of someone who’s studying arts, I’m not the best at his. I don’t really know what
I’m doing here.” Jungkook frowns a little, staring at his own progress; it’s not horrible.
“Oh, don’t even. This is really good.” Nira compliments. “I can see the… well, lack of technique,
but everyone has their own style. This is really good.” she smiles. “You mentioned a shitty
classmate, so that makes me wonder… Do you study, or have you studied anything?”
“I’ll go back to it once I leave this place, yeah. Architecture and engineering.” he shrugs.
“I should probably get on your good side for when you become rich.” she jokes.
“Is that how this works?”
Nira nods. “Indeed, it is.”
│►
Jungkook looks up from the apple that he’s cutting into pieces when someone slides on the table
next to him. Nira is smiling, holding a tray full of food, but her smile quickly is replaced by a
worried look as she realizes that he only has a napkin on the table, a knife, and a green apple.
“Not to comment on what you’re eating or not, but you’re… quite buff, I believe that you should
eat well… I mean, better than just an apple.” she points, stuffing her mouth with rice.
“I’ve only been here for two weeks, so my stomach still gets a little upset when I eat too much
food. The withdrawals completely fucked my eating schedule… I’ve been trying to ease myself
back into how much I used to eat, but— smelling what they made for lunch was enough to tell me
that I’d feel sick afterwards.” Jungkook explains, munching on another piece of apple.
“Oh… I’m scared about that part. I don’t know how my body and my mind will deal with
withdrawals, but I’ve heard that they’re really fucking bad… How— How do they feel?”
“It sucks, I won’t sugarcoat it for you. It sucks, and it hurts, and you’re going to want to just
fucking— die, really. They pass, though. I’m not really having them anymore, I only… get sick
sometimes and, as you can see, I still can’t eat properly yet.” he gestures towards the fruit. “I can
assure you that you’ll get through it, so don’t worry too much about it.”
“Thank you… The support is really appreciated.” Nira smiles, taking a sip from her water. “How
long do you have left here? And why are you here? I’m a curious person by nature.”
“I’m here to get rid of my alcohol addiction, and I still have two months and two weeks to go
before I get to leave. What about you?” he turns the question around, shoulders relaxing.
“It’s my first day here, so I still have two months to go. I’ll leave two weeks earlier than you,
apparently.” Nira giggles. “Oh, and I’m here because of uhm, cocaine. It’s something that I really
want to get rid of.” she looks down, visibly embarrassed.
“I understand.” Jungkook nods. “Don’t look so ashamed, we’re all here because we’re messed up
one way or the other, no one’s a saint. No one will judge you for your addiction.”
“It’s just a tough thing to deal with alone. I signed up for this because I couldn’t deal with letting
my parents down any longer. We have an amazing relationship, so it’s entirely my fault that I even
started consuming.” she sighs. “I’m sorry for telling you this, dumping my story on you, but it feels
nice to talk about this so freely. I’ve never had anyone who I could talk to about it.”
“I understand how that feels, so don’t worry about… dumping it on me.” Jungkook assures. “You
have already done the hardest part, which is signing up. You’ll be fine… and you’re not alone.”
“You’re… really nice. Thank you so much for your words.” Nira gives him a little smile, stuffing
her mouth again. “Hm—!” she rushes to swallow. “I’m changing the subject because I hate being
sad: I thought about what you said earlier in the art room.”
Jungkook blinks. “What did I say?”
“You said that you’ve never watched Hannah Montana. There’s a room with televisions and
movies for us to watch, so we—”
“We’re not watching Hannah Montana.” Jungkook interrupts.
“You didn’t let me finish what I was going to say!” she frowns and so Jungkook gestures for her to
go on. “We’re going to watch Hannah Montana this afternoon. I’m really not taking a ‘no’ for an
answer when it comes to this. I’m terrible at making friends, so if I immediately went to you it’s
because it was a sign.” Jungkook groans. “A sign for us to watch Hannah Montana.”
“I’m twenty-eight, I’m not—”
“And I’m twenty-two, so what’s your point?” Nira raises an eyebrow. “The ending is emotional,
and you can’t possibly die without watching such an iconic movie.” she grabs his forearm, nudging
him a couple of times. “Do you have anything better to do this afternoon?”
“I don’t, but still. We’re not watching it.”

“Yes, we are.”
“No, we’re not.”
│►
“This part is really emotional, it always gets me.” Nira gestures to the screen, nudging him with her
elbow. Jungkook stares at the small television that they asked to use, the main character sitting
down with her father as she plays yet another song on her guitar.
“This movie is so stupid, seriously.” Jungkook complains, rubbing his eyes. “Alright, we haven’t
reached the emotional ending that you mentioned, but does it justify how terrible and torturous
everything else is? Is it only the ending that is acceptable…?”
“Shut up, man, don’t you dare badmouth Hannah Montana in my presence. She’s an iconic
character.” Nira defends, slapping his arm. Jungkook rolls his eyes, still looking at the screen with
death in his eyes. “I can’t believe that you don’t like this part, it’s my favorite song. It brings me
memories of when I was a kid…”
Jungkook turns to her. “Good memories…?”
“Mhm. My dad learned how to play this song so that he could sing it with me, and I’d pretend to be
her. I even had an ugly blonde wig, not as luscious as hers…” Nira laughs quietly. “I miss those
times. You know, when you grow up and things are just… simple. Growing up is horrible, I miss
being a kid. I miss playing with my dad.”
“I cannot relate to that, I have a much better time as an adult.” Jungkook mumbles, looking away to
the television when Nira tries to meet his eyes. “Don’t ask, we’re not there yet.” he tries.
His attempt proves to be in vain. “Daddy issues?” she asks.
Jungkook looks beyond repulsed by the word choice. “That’s the worst fucking way to call it.” he
cringes. “That sounds gross as fuck, and I refuse to even answer your question.”
“So, you do have them. One would just say ‘no’, and you didn’t.” she accuses. “I admit that I do
have a hard time understanding people with those issues. My parents have always been great to me,
always treated me like a princess… It’s really not their fault that I turned to drugs, it was my own
fault for surrounding myself with bad friends and having a shitty boyfriend.”
“Didn’t you want to watch the movie…?” he tries, not looking forward to such a conversation.
“Yeah, but we can still talk.” Nira shrugs. “As I said before, I’ve never had anyone who I could sit
down with and talk about these things without feeling judged for them. You’re… here, so you
understand me.” their eyes meet again, and Jungkook hesitates before speaking. “Right…?”
“I try to understand, even if, to me, addictions aren’t something that you should obtain just for
fun.” Jungkook starts, a little cautious. “I started drinking because of everything that happened to
me when I was younger, since I was a little kid, and— and it’s an issue that I’ve always been
insanely embarrassed about. It took me years to just accept that I had a problem, and it wasn’t easy
for me to voice that I needed help. Someone doing shit just for fun kind of… angers me. I
apologize for it, and I’m truly not judging you, at all, but you want to talk, so I am. Talking.”
“I can’t defend myself. I have loving parents, and I grew up in a loving home. I never went to bed
hungry, and I had all the toys that I asked for… I just fell in love with the wrong person, who had
the wrong friends. I did start consuming to be— cool, to fit in with them, and that’s on me, so you
can judge me… But just a little, don’t judge me too much.” she looks down, guilty.
“I won’t judge you.” Jungkook shakes his head. “Ultimately, every reason is a reason, and as you
said, I’m here as much as you are. I’m no better than you. I don’t want people to judge me without
knowing what they’re talking about, so I cannot be a hypocrite and judge you.”
Nira remains silent for a few seconds, but a smile grows on her face; relieved. Then, she looks back
up at him. “What got you into alcohol?” she asks. “I told you what got me into coke, so I believe
that it’s only fair that you tell me your story now.”
“I mean, I didn’t ask you.” her frown makes him pucker his lips, and fix his position so that he’s
sitting a little more comfortably. “Okay… Uhm, this is a hard question. It was an immense list of
things that are still very hard for me to talk about and— I met you today, so I’m not comfortable
telling you about them, I’m sorry. Not even my best friends know what I’ve been through, only my
boyfriend knows my story. It’s— It’s something that truly scarred me for life, and maybe one day
I’ll tell you, but that day won’t be today. Especially with Hannah Montana listening.”
That does make Nira laugh. “She’s listening, for sure.” she points at the television. “And I
understand, that’s fine. You don’t have to tell me. I’ll just assume that daddy issues are a big—”
“Stop saying that, it sounds horrendous.” his new friend laughs again, positively ignoring him as
she joins in the movie with the singing. “This is horrendous singing, too.” Jungkook jokes.
“Oh, you think so? I actually think that she’s a good singer…”
“I was talking about you—”
“I do not care.”
│►
Taehyung presses the button on his car keys, waiting for the locking sound before entering the gas
station to get himself some chocolates. He smiles at the familiar man behind the counter, and
Yugyeom quickly perks up from where he was slouched. “Hey.” Taehyung greets.
“Taehyung! I haven’t seen you in a minute.” Yugyeom smiles. “How are you? And how’s
Jungkook doing? I haven’t talked to him in, like, two weeks now.” he asks as he scans the two
chocolates that the blonde has just placed on the counter.
“Oh, I’m doing alright, and Jungkook’s actually, uhm, away. For work.” Taehyung lies, scratching
the back of his neck. He’s not so sure whether Jungkook would be ok with Yugyeom knowing
about his true whereabouts, and he doesn’t want to cross any boundary.
“The… coffee shop sent him away?” he tilts his head. “Where is he actually?” Taehyung just
sighs, hesitating. “Oh, my God— Did he die?! Is that why I haven’t seen him in a while?!”
“What— No! No, Gosh, no, he’s very much alive.” Taehyung rushes, horrified. “He’s, uhm, I
don’t know if he’d be fine with me telling you, so I’m unsure whether I should…” he frowns,
storing his credit card back in his wallet after he’s already paid for the chocolates.
“He told me that you guys are dating, and that he’s working at the coffee shop, so I’m pretty sure
that he’d be ok with me knowing how he’s doing.” Yugyeom shrugs, but Taehyung still doesn’t
say a word. “Is this about his drinking, or something…?”
The blonde looks up. “Oh. You know about that?”

“He’d come to work wasted, so it was kind of hard for me not to catch up on it. Besides, when he
got fired, our boss basically trashed our lockers because he had found alcohol bottles in his, and he
wanted to be sure that no one else was drinking on the job…”
Taehyung gulps. His heart aches in his chest; he can’t even begin to imagine just how painfully
horrible Jungkook’s life was while he suffered in silence for so long. It physically pains him.
Yugyeom notes the change in his demeanor. “He seems happier now, more alive. When I see him
at the café, and even during our occasional calls and texts, he’s… way happier. He’s not the man
that I used to work with, and that’s all because of you. Don’t mop like this, Taehyung. If he knew
that I’m making you sad, he’d come for my neck.” that’s enough to make the blonde laugh, and it
makes his shoulders relax. “I’m really happy for you two, man.”
“Thank you so much.” Taehyung smiles. “He’s currently in a rehabilitation center. He’s been there
for two weeks, so I’m not surprised that you haven’t seen him at the coffee shop during that time
period. He must’ve forgotten to tell you, because he left in a rush, pretty much, and he doesn’t
really text anyone while he’s there, because he uses his time with his phone to call me at night…
It’s hard for everyone involved, but he’ll be fine. He’ll come back healthy.”
“That’s the most amazing news that you could possibly give me.” Yugyeom places a hand over his
chest, having to sit down on his tall stools. “I can’t even imagine the amount of convincing that it
took. I had to nag him so many times for him to get out of the station and go to therapy because he
refused to open up, so him accepting to go to rehab is fucking huge. That’s amazing.”
“You… You convinced him to go to therapy?”
Yugyeom nods. “Yeah. There were times that he felt too down or too embarrassed to go…”
“Can I ask you how he was before? The way that you speak of his past self really intrigues me, and
it makes me wonder how different he was from now. I watched him grow as a person, but I was too
close to him during the process, so it’s hard for me to see the drastic change as an outsider would.”
Taehyung gestures, worrying at the inside of his cheek. “You don’t have to tell me all about it, of
course, but I’d like to know…”
“I clock out in half an hour so, if you’d like to go have a coffee or something, then I’ll tell you
everything that you wish to know.” Yugyeom offers with a smile. “I have nothing to do.”
Taehyung smiles. “That’d be lovely.”
│►
“Thank you.” they both say to the waitress as she places their coffees down on the table in front of
them, and they both use the mugs to heat up their palms around the porcelain. She bows before
leaving, and Yugyeom takes a sip before speaking. “So, what would you like to know?”
“Everything. You met him before his best friends did, you’re… you’re the one that has known him
the longest. If anyone can tell me anything about past Jungkook, it’s you.” Taehyung gives him a
little encouraging smile, and the other nods as he thinks of where to even begin.
“He was… extremely quiet when he started working there. He was really, really thin, too. Truly
nothing like how he is now, because he’s got all of those muscles that no one smart enough would
want to fight against, you know? Back then, though, I believe that I could probably close my hand
around his forearms.” Yugyeom starts, and Taehyung’s heart sinks.
“Really…?” Taehyung whispers. He remembers Jungkook telling him about living off of the dirty
deeds that he performed in alleys, and how that money wasn’t enough to pay for Moon’s food and
his own, so Jungkook being skinny shouldn’t be such a surprise. It still is.
“Yeah, it was sad. I just assumed that maybe he had some problem or that, you know, he was just
naturally skinny… there are people who don’t gain weight easily.” Yugyeom shrugs. “He started
to gain a bit of weight with time as he worked there, but I noticed the bigger change when he met
those two friends of his. I assume that they often ate with him.” he goes on, taking another sip.
“Still, nothing like how he is now. I saw him two weeks ago at the coffee shop, and I even made a
stupid joke about his uniform shirt… the buttons looked like they were fighting for their life. We
even laughed at that.”
Taehyung laughs quietly. “Yeah, I always comment on it when he wears button-up shirts.”
“It’s fun, it’s fun…” Yugyeom nods. “Anyway, moving on. He was really snappy. Not rude, I don’t
think that he was necessarily impolite, but he hated to talk. He was always so fucking sad and
mopping, and I like to talk… a lot, so I constantly bothered him to at least try to get a smile out of
him. It took me a very long time to see him smile, or to get him to engage in conversations.”
“Oh, I can see that…”
“Then he got his two best friends, and I guess that he got used to being… friendly? If that’s the
word to use. What I mean is, he started talking more easily, but Jesus still had to be on my side
whenever I asked something that was a little too pushy.” Yugyeom shares with a quiet and
nostalgic laugh. “When I see him at the café, he just… tells me things. He tells me about your
relationship, he openly shares about his classes and how— just a bunch of things that he’d never
share with me. The first time that it happened, I couldn’t believe that it was the same guy that once
refused to tell me his favorite color.”
“He must have been a piece to handle back then.” Taehyung comments. “Hearing this makes me
feel so proud of how far he’s come…” he sighs, looking down at the brown liquid in his mug.
“He’s really admirable, Taehyung. I’m not even that close to him, but I feel so proud of him,
because I’ve seen how much he’s changed for the better.” Yugyeom takes a moment, twirling his
mug between his palms. “Do you think that it’d be ok for me to visit him sometime? I’d like to see
him and, you know, let him know that I’m supporting him just as much.”
“I’ll ask him tonight to add your name to the list of visitors, and I’ll let you know when you can
visit him.” the older man nods, but then he lets out a mischievous chuckle. “What?”
“I have some funny stories about him… some that are pretty embarrassing.” Taehyung’s lips
stretch in a huge smile and he leans closer. “Oh, he’ll kill me if I tell you, I don’t want to die.”
Taehyung laughs. “Just tell me, please!”
│►
“Hey, baby.” Taehyung says as he lies down on the bed, his phone pressed to his ear.
There’s a sigh on the other side instead of the usual greeting that he’d receive, and he’s about to
ask his boyfriend if he’s ok, when Jungkook speaks. “I witnessed the most unimaginable form of
torture today.” is what he says, and Taehyung promptly chokes on his spit, sitting up.
“What happened? Are you ok? What happened?!” he demands an answer, and he furrows his
eyebrows when Jungkook only chuckles. “Why are you laughing? Are you hurt? Did anyone—”
“I watched Hannah Montana, the movie.” it’s silent for a few seconds, and Taehyung can only
pinch the bridge of his nose as he processes that nothing bad happened to his boyfriend.
“You nearly killed me, you dummy.”
“I never thought that a movie could feel that long, but I feel like I sat there for seven hours.”
Taehyung smiles with a roll of the eyes, resting back down. “You just have to think positively,
hyung. There’s always going to be another mountain, you’re always going to want to make it
move… And there’s always going to be an uphill battle, and—”
Jungkook groans. “Shut the absolute fuck up, you’re not allowed to quote the songs or I’ll really
lose it this time.” Taehyung laughs, so loud and bubbly that it can make any horrible day turn
bright in a second; Jungkook loves his laugh. Happy Taehyung will always be his favorite.
“I’m insanely curious as to what the story is. Who tortured you with Hannah Montana?”
“Well, a new girl joined the facility today. I’ll be honest with you, as always, and tell you that she
did flirt with me, but she was really sweet and respectful when I told her about you, so we’re rehab
buddies, or whatever the fuck she calls it.” Taehyung’s heart swells up. All that he wants is for his
boyfriend to make friends there, so that it’s easier for the time to pass. “So, we were talking, and
she made a comparison between bisexuals and Hannah Montana living a double life, and we ended
up watching the movie because I didn’t get her reference.”
“I’m really happy for you, baby. It relaxes me to know that you have a new friend, and perhaps
someone who will stay by your side through the process that is being there.” Taehyung
acknowledges, and Jungkook smiles. “Now… The big question is, you had never watched the
movie before? You told me about watching Barbie with your sister, how come you never watched
Hannah Montana with her?”
“We watched Barbie on my laptop, and that Miley girl was on television.” Taehyung waits for him
to conclude his point. “My dad sold the television for drugs and alcohol, so.”
“I— Babe— What—”
Jungkook laughs. “It’s fine, don’t get all awkward on me.” he lies down on his back, sliding the
picture that he has of his boyfriend under his pillow to keep it safe from wrinkles. “It was a long
time ago, I don’t care anymore about such trivial details…”
Taehyung thinks of how to change the topic. “So… What was your favorite song?”
“None.” Jungkook says without a second of hesitation.
“Don’t lie.” Taehyung accuses, only to laugh when he hears a forced sigh. “So? I’m waiting.”
“If I have to choose, then I guess that it’d be the one that she sings at the very end when she
removes her wig.” Jungkook positively ignores the puzzled look that his roommate is regarding
him with. Watching Hannah Montana isn’t necessarily something that he’s proud of.
“Hoedown throwdown was honestly the best, you have no musical taste.” Taehyung jokes,
remembering just how annoying that song was, and he’s confused when he gets nothing but the
faint beep of the call coming to an end. “Babe?” he calls, pulling the phone back.
Then he laughs. Jungkook really ended the call.

Jungkook calls him back right away, and it makes him giggle, a little mischievous, as he declines it.
He declines the next three calls as soon as they come through, and Jungkook is quick to send him a
message with no text, but multiple middle fingers followed by another call.
Taehyung does pick up then with a quiet laugh, but that laugh dies as soon as he hears a little sniff
on the other side. “Oh, God, are you crying?” he should’ve thought about how easily hurt
Jungkook can be sometimes, how paranoid and—
“No, I actually just have something in my nose. If you didn’t pick up, though, I’d probably start
panicking soon.” Taehyung relaxes at the explanation. “And, honestly, I love how you already
know that nowadays I just cry at the littlest inconveniences.” he tries, he really does, but he can’t
keep in a laugh. “Hey, don’t laugh at me.
“I’m not!” Taehyung says, juxtaposing his still audible giggles. “You’re a fool.”
“I’ll always make a fool of myself if it means that I get to make you laugh.” Jungkook says with
such raw honesty in his voice that it makes Taehyung’s heart do a flip; or maybe two or three.
“That was… I don’t know if really cheesy or really romantic but, either way, I love you. That was
sweet, you’re the sweetest.” Taehyung frowns. “I miss your cheesiness so much.” he says with a
much softer voice, turning to his side in bed where Moon is just now lying down.
She has already grown accustomed to Jungkook not being there, so she’s back to sleeping in bed by
his side. They decided not to stress her by putting Jungkook on speaker often, as she’s unable to
understand why her owner isn’t there by her side, but can somehow speak through an object.
“I miss you just as much, my love.” Jungkook whispers, turning to the wall, as well; his phone
between the pillow and his ear so that he can fall asleep to Taehyung’s voice. “Tell me about your
day, please. What did you do today? Anything fun, or did you only go to work?”
“Well… I went to work, and I took Moon to the park instead of just walking her around the block
after dinner. She played with some dogs, so I had a nice chat with their owners, but the most
eventful thing was having coffee with Yugyeom. I went there for gas and some chocolates, and we
went for a coffee. We talked a lot about you…”
“Oh, is he doing alright?”
“Yeah, he asked to be added to the visitors’ list… I told him that you’re there, I hope that you
won’t be too mad at me for that.” Taehyung bites down on his bottom lip, a little nervous. “I didn’t
know if I could tell him or not, but I couldn’t ask you so I, uhm, I told him.”
“Don’t worry, baby, I’m not mad at all. I completely forgot to tell him, so I’m actually glad that
you did. I’ll add him to the list tomorrow… Did you have fun with him?”
“I did, yeah.” Taehyung giggles. “I got to know a few stories…”
“I will not only end the call, but I will also block your number.” Jungkook warns, biting his lip not
to smile as Taehyung laughs on the other side again. He loves that happy sound so much.
“But, hyung, they were so funny.”
“Nope, not a word!”

│►
Chapter End Notes
Thoughts on Nira?
◄│ 74 │►
Chapter Notes
Jungkook takes a sip from his coffee, his eyes still half-closed, as both of his hands stay around the
mug to try to get warmed up by the hot porcelain. He’s barely slept, his conversation with his
boyfriend extending far deep into the night, so he’s tired and sleepy. He’ll probably take a good
nap after breakfast, and sleep through the morning.
“Hey!” he hears, so he lifts his head up. Nira sits in front of him with a huge smile and a tray full of
food that intends on eating all by herself. “What a great day, isn’t it? The sun is out…” she
comments excitedly, taking some scrambled eggs to her mouth.
Jungkook gives her a look. “Morning people are scary.” he mumbles, taking another sip from his
mug. He has never been a morning person, and the one thing — person — that made his mornings
a little better is Taehyung, so he has no reason to be excited so early on the day while he’s there.
“Are you always like this when you wake up?”
Nira nods, amused. “I am, yes. I’m usually really happy in the morning, I don’t know why. My dad
has always told me that we should start our day as positively as possible so that we manifest good
energy for it to be a good day all throughout.” she shares with a shrug. “But, I must say, I’m in a
better mood than usual because I had a dream so good that I’m still giddy about it.”
“Do I even want to know…?” he squints when she lets out a dreamy sigh.
“I think so, you do, yes.” Jungkook just waits for her to go on. “I dreamt that I had a girlfriend, can
you believe that? And we were, guess what, holding hands.” he rubs his eyes, trying to understand
the immense excitement at such time in the morning over something so trivial as holding hands.
“I’m upset, a little. I think. Now I want a girlfriend…” she sighs.
“When you start complaining about wanting a girlfriend, you really, really sound like a friend of m
— Oh!” Nira’s positively startled when Jungkook lifts his head a little too suddenly. “I should
introduce you to Jae once we get out of this place.”
“I’m lost here… Who is Jae?” she questions.
“Oh, Eunjae, she’s my coworker. She’s incredibly annoying, but she’s also a really nice girl. I love
her as if she were my younger sister. She’s nineteen, so— Okay, that would be illegal, you can
never mind.” Jungkook loses his energy again, taking another sip from his coffee. “You have
similar personalities, is all. You remind me of her very often.”
“Hm, yeah, I’m only twenty-one, but I’d feel guilty seeing someone who isn’t of actual adult age
yet.” Nira nods twice, her shoulders slouching. “Damn, you should have older friends.”
“I do, maybe I’ll introduce you to them instead… You’ll avoid jail time.”
“Jail time—?! God, shut up.” she laughs. “But I must say that it’s quite funny that you think that I
could ever get enough courage to talk to another girl. It’s easier for me to flirt with men, even if
I’m terrible at both… Why do you think that I’m still single?”
“Fuck, just give up, then.” Jungkook teases through a large grin, and she shows him her middle
finger, too busy munching on her toast. “I’m kidding, don’t give up. Love is worth waiting.”
“You should still introduce me to that Eunjae friend of yours. Who knows…” he opens his mouth
to make another remark about facing jail time, but he’s interrupted by another person sliding next
to her with a groan, and nothing but a coffee mug, just like Jungkook. “Good morning!”
“Shut up.” Jihoon complains, rubbing his eyes. “It’s way too early for this, and I have a massive
headache brewing.” he further adds, giving her a nasty look when she shoves him with a playful
hand and a roll of her eyes. “I will turn you scrambled eggs.”
“You two are insanely boring, Jesus Christ.” she frowns.
“You say that, but you haven’t left our side for the past two or three weeks.” Jihoon throws right
back. “I’ll never understand how you always wake up so ready for… whatever the fuck you wake
up ready for.” Nira rolls her eyes, stuffing her mouth with more eggs. “Also, I woke up three
hundred times during the night because I just couldn’t fall asleep, and I heard you whispering on
the phone every single time. Did you get any sleep at all, dude?”
“Barely…” Jungkook sighs. “Tae and I just simply couldn’t stop coming up with new stuff to talk
about, and hearing his voice is too good to pass on. He has these two best friends that are getting
married soon, so he had a lot to update me with about the wedding preparations and the wedding
shopping.” he rubs his eyes. “It was worth it, but I’m tired as fuck.”
“It must be nice to have a relationship like that…to be awake talking to someone the whole night
without running out of things to talk about… I’m so jealous of you, man.” she sighs.
“I don’t know what’s fucking worse.” Jihoon pinches the bridge of his nose. “If listening to you
complaining about being single, or listening to his lovesick disgusting calls with his boyfriend
every single night.” Jungkook snorts, and Nira joins right after, laughing. “It’s not funny.”
“I’ll tell you what’s worse. Your bad humor.” Nira accuses, pointing at him with the hand that is
still holding the bread. “You’re jealous of how happy he is in his relationship, and that’s just really
sad, man.” Jihoon rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling. “Let’s be honest, though, no one has ever done
anything bad enough in life to be punished with listening to Jungkook’s calls w—”
“Fuck right off.” Jungkook cuts her off. “At least I’m in a relationship, unlike some people.” he
throws, and Jihoon chokes on his coffee, letting out a laugh that only intensifies his headache.
“Woah… Now that was offensive.”
│►
“Hi, Jungkook.” the therapist in the art room greets him as soon as he steps inside, and Jungkook
smiles at him with a little wave. His usual spot by the window is available, so he quickly walks
over there to sit in front of the blank canvas with another mug of coffee. He doesn’t know what
he’s going to paint today, but he wants to be fully awake so that it’s something decent.
He stares at it, trying to think of something to paint. He’s already painted a few things, all of which
are safely stored for him to take home once his stay is over. He can’t wait for that: to be out of
there, to be free to do whatever he wants to with his day… to be with his boyfriend.
“May I?” he hears, and he nods up at the therapist. “I have something for you.” the man informs,
sitting down next to him with a small round-shaped object in his hand. Jungkook looks between the
circle and his eyes, puzzled. “You complete the first month mark today, and we always give you
guys a little medal to remember these successes. Just something for you to keep.”
“Oh.” Jungkook takes the object, a medal with a small ‘⅓’ engraved onto it. He’s done with one-
third of his time, and he finds his body to be filled with both relief and pride. He feels proud of
himself for once. He’s done one-third of it. He’s one-third closer to success.
“Since this is the only activity that you like to join, I’m in charge of giving it to you.” the elder
smiles, and Jungkook mirrors it, looking back down. “How has this place been treating you?”
“Well… It’s getting easier. Every day it gets a little easier, you know? My body doesn’t hurt
anymore, so now I’m really just… letting time pass and trying not to think about drinking every
time that I feel anxious.” he decides to admit. “I can tell that this will be a constant battle for the
rest of my life, but I’m sure that it’ll get easier to handle.”
“You’ll be out before you know it. The first month is what takes the longest, now time will fly
right past you.” Jungkook sighs, putting the medal inside the pocket of his hooded jacket.
“I hope that you’re right. I miss the outside, my friends. I miss working, and studying and I miss my
boyfriend like crazy… and my dog. This is a good place, I’ve made two good friends who I can see
staying in my life forever, but I miss the outside so much.”
“I can understand that. As a therapist, I observe everyone a lot during this activity, and I try to talk
to them when they’re open about their feelings and thoughts. It’s the first time that you’re talking
to me, so I can’t exactly tell a difference from when you joined, therefore I’ll just tell you that you
should be immensely proud of yourself. That medal that I just gave you will, one day, bring
relieving memories to you, and you’ll be grateful for having it.”
“Thank you.” Jungkook smiles. “I am proud to receive this… There was a period in my life when I
wondered whether I’d ever be able to function without drinking, so this means more than anything.
I never thought that I’d be able to say that I haven’t had a drink in a month.” and it’s true. He
would’ve never been able to put himself through such a thing by himself, and he’d hardly ever be
able to afford it. “I think that for the most part… I didn’t even want to stop.”
“Then what made you join us?”
“My boyfriend.” he looks down at his lap. “I’m here for myself, of course, but if it wasn’t for him,
I… I don’t think that I’d ever be putting this much effort into doing this.”
“Hey, can you help me with something?” another patient calls after the teacher just when the man
opens his mouth.
“I enjoyed this conversation, Jungkook. I hope that we can talk some other time again. Also, stick
to that mentally. Do this for yourself even if your boyfriend and friends are your motivation. If you
don’t love yourself enough to get through this, you won’t make it out with a sane mind.”
“Yeah, I know. Thank you.” Jungkook smiles, facing the window again as he’s still unsure of what
to paint. Maybe he can come up with some sort of scenery. Taking another sip from his coffee, he
grabs a brush that he quickly dips into light blue paint. He’ll see where the brush takes him.
│►
Nira frowns on her way to the bedroom, standing by the door once she sees the two older men
lying down, one on each of their beds. Jungkook has a book in his hands while Jihoon is focused
on a magazine that he must’ve taken from the lounge. “Can we do something? I’m bored.”
“I’m waiting for Tae to arrive, so the answer is no.” Jungkook shrugs, not even looking away from
his book. Jihoon simply waves the magazine when she looks at him for his explanation, and it
makes her groan.
“But I’m bored, guys.” she repeats, clapping her hands twice; still, neither of them gives her the
desired attention. “I cannot believe that you two are ignoring me when I’m not only bored, but also
in critical pain. I can’t believe that I call you my friends, you traitors.”
Jungkook sits up right away, putting his book down. “You’re in pain? Are you having a
withdrawal? It’s been a while since you had your last one, I thought that they were gone.”
“You’re an angel for looking that worried but, no, it’s not a withdrawal… It’s much worse.” both
men share a puzzled look. “It’s a problem that you two cannot understand.” the silence lasts a few
seconds, before Jungkook makes a low sound of acknowledgment while going back to his book
but, this time, he sits with his back against the wall.
“Well, good luck with that.” Jungkook wishes.
“Wait, I don’t get it.” Jihoon looks between the two.
“Just don’t piss her off in the next three or four days.” Jihoon finally understands the problem at
hands, and the laugh that he lets out positively makes Nira frown and show her middle finger.
“Don’t even think of attacking me with period jokes.” Nira warns, letting her weight down on top
of Jungkook, who simply laughs and pushes her off. “You two are so insensitive. A good friend
would offer me a massage on my stomach or something but, no, you two just went back to
reading.” she complains, resting her head on Jungkook’s thighs while curling into a ball.
He looks down at her. “C’mon, it can’t be that bad. It’s just, like, blood coming out. I think.”
The glare that he’s met with is a clear indicator that he’s completely wrong. “That’s really bold
coming from a species that dies with a kick to the balls.” she accuses. “It’s much more than just the
blood. We have cramps, we have—”
Jihoon clicks his tongue. “You’re trying to compare two incomparable things. A kick to the balls
hurts much more than just… cramps.” he argues without even looking away from his magazine.
Jungkook gapes. “Don’t fucking provoke her, dude, mine are the closest to her right now.”
“I don’t know if I’m happy or disappointed in myself that you’re aware that I’d punch your balls
with no hesitation just to prove him wrong.” Jungkook proceeds to push her head away from his
lap, which almost makes her fall off of the bed. “That was so rude, I could’ve—”
“I have a boyfriend to meet, and I don’t want to be folded in half in pain while I’m with him so, if
you want to punch anyone’s balls, punch Jihoon’s. He’s right there.”
“Oh, thanks for that.” Jihoon raises an eyebrow, and Jungkook only offers him one of his blinding
smiles before leaving the room. “Visitation days are the grossest days to hear his calls with
Taehyung. Would you like to switch rooms with me?” he requests.
Nira laughs. “Why are they the grossest days?”
“Because they see each other, right.” Jihoon sits up, suddenly much more invested. “They see each
other and, what, six or so hours later when Kook calls him, they’re all ‘Oh, I miss you so much’,
like…? You just saw each other.” he complains, which makes her laugh even harder.
“I think that it’s cute… Think about it.”
“No.” Jihoon shakes his head. “I don’t want to think about it. I adore the guy, and I’m a big
supporter of his relationship, but listening to his phone calls is where I draw the line.” he complains
while drawing an invisible line in the air with his finger.
Nira can’t stop laughing, but she also can’t tell whether he’s seriously annoyed or not. “Imagine
having someone love you so much, though. They’re fucking adorable…”
“It was cute during the first three or four days but, man, there are only so many times that you can
say ‘aw’ before you start wanting to hit him… or throw up.” Jihoon adds; Nira wheezes.
“I forgot my slippers.” Jungkook says as he comes back into the room, his feet bare. “Why are you
dying? What’s so funny?” he asks with his head a little tilted and a confused chuckle.
“Jihoon was just telling me about how much he’s grossed out by his calls with Tae.”
Jungkook looks back at his roommate. “I can assure you that he’s bullshitting. Last night he told
me that he wishes that he had someone to have those calls with. Goodbye, I’m meeting my love
now.” he waves at them on his way out, and Nira is left breathless by a soundless laugh.
“What a traitor…”
Jungkook checks his pocket to make sure that he still has his medal, smiling down at it. He can’t
wait to show it to his boyfriend, knowing just how proud Taehyung will be. He squeezes it in his
palm for a second before putting it back in his pocket.
His smile doesn’t last long, however, given that he hears Seokjin’s laugh from afar. He’d recognize
that sound anywhere, so he knows that it’s him, and not someone else — that makes him quicken
his steps. It’s Tuesday. It’s Taehyung’s day, so why is Seokjin visiting? His heart sinks to his
stomach once he spots his best friends instead of the familiar blonde hair.
“Hey…” he greets them, lacking excitement.
“Before you get mad at us for being here, we’ll just let you know that Tae couldn’t make it. He
called us asking if we could come instead, on such a short notice. We didn’t ask why, but I’m sure
that he’ll explain all of it later.” Seokjin rushes to explain as they both get up.”
“I’m not mad, I’m just… confused. I was really hoping to see Tae today.” he can’t mask his
disappointment, it’s too obvious on his face. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m also happy to see you two,
but I look forward to Tuesdays because of him…”
“We understand, you don’t have to explain yourself.” Yoongi assures. “I’m sure that he has a good
explanation but, now, come here…” he pulls Jungkook into a hug that lasts a couple of seconds,
his hands rubbing up and down the other’s back. When he lets go, it’s Seokjin’s turn.
“Don’t look so sad, Kooks, you look like a kicked puppy.” Seokjin teases as they sit down, but it’s
not enough to make him smile. Jungkook sighs. “What are you thinking about, hm?”
“I’m thinking about how much I’d like to have a drink now.” his friends share a knowing look. “I
have noticed that it’s becoming a reoccurring thing. When I get anxious or stressed, I crave booze
like never before.” he decides to be honest, leaving them both surprised. Jungkook, a few months
ago, would never have opened up like this.
“I reckon that it’s normal that you’re feeling that. You haven’t drunk anything in a month, so this is
your subconscious asking for the substance again. You have to stay wrong and not give in to the
temptations. You’ll probably still have those thoughts once you leave…”
“I know.” Jungkook sighs. “It just sucks… but doesn’t suck more than not getting my Tuesday
kisses. I’m really fucking sad about that, I won’t lie to you.”
“I think that you understand it when I say that we will not be kissing you.” Seokjin jokes, smiling
once he gets a little chuckle out of him. “Let’s change topics to something positive, yeah? Tell us
about your stay here, because it’s already been a whole month.”
“Oh, I got this…” Jungkook pulls out the little medal. “I wanted to show to Tae, I’m bummed
out…” he frowns. “I really wanted to celebrate the one-month mark with him, and hear him say
that he’s proud of me… I want to cry. Why didn’t he come? We talked yesterday, and he said that
he was coming to see me, so why didn’t he?” he asks, eyes turning a little glassy.
“He— Uh— We didn’t ask, Kooks, we don’t know.” Yoongi scratches the back of his neck.
“Don’t be so upset… Let us— Let me see that medal of yours, it looks really cool.” he gently takes
it from his friend’s hand, inspecting the object with a smile. “It’s—”
“We’re proud of you, too. We’re not going to kiss you, but we can say that we’re proud of you,
even if it probably doesn’t mean nearly as much as it does coming from him. You’re doing great
here, and you’re making us all proud.” Seokjin interrupts, and Jungkook looks down.
“Thank you…” he sighs. “It does mean a lot to me.” they know that their speeches won’t really
help lift his mood up, and they regret not asking Taehyung why he couldn’t make it so that they
could at least let Jungkook know the reason why. They know Jungkook well enough to be able to
tell that he’s going to be upset the rest of the day.
“So…” Yoongi starts. “Tell us about those friends that you said that you’ve made.”
│►
Jihoon straightens up from where he was slouched on his bed, eyes wide. “Where the hell have you
been? We haven’t seen you since you left for the visitation, we thought that you had fucking run
off with Taehyung, or something. You didn’t even have dinner, so we—”
Taehyung didn’t come to see me.” Jungkook interrupts, his voice monotone as he sits on his bed.
His roommate contemplates what to say next, unsure of how to word it. “You know… It started
like that for me, too.” he almost whispers, unwilling to let those words be even harsher than what
they already are. Jungkook looks up at him, his eyes reddening.
“Tae wouldn’t leave me…”
“I sure hope not, but— but you have to understand that we come with a lot of baggage. It’s easier
for them to just walk away when things get ugly, and things get very ugly while we’re here. The
distance doesn’t help, either.” Jihoon sighs. “Have you talked? I hope to be wrong.”
“If Tae left me, there wouldn’t be a fucking point in being here. If I’m alone once I get out, I’ll
turn to alcohol again, I know that much. I can’t possibly deal with the heartbreak that it would give
me. I can’t. I don’t even want to think about it.” he stresses, his voice thin. “I can’t.”
“I’ve been in and out of this place for three years for being alone once I get out…” Jihoon
scratches the back of his neck. “Just call him, man. Ask him why he didn’t come, because we
might just be paranoid as hell. Maybe he has a good reason.” he gestures towards the phone.
“Right…” Jungkook swallows the lump in his throat, and takes the device to his ear once it starts
ringing. Taehyung picks up after two beeps. “Hey.” he whispers, unsure of whether he even wants
to know the reason behind his boyfriend’s absence. What if he just didn’t want to come?
“Hyung—” Taehyung sniffs. “We had a meeting scheduled for today, and I didn’t see the freaking
email. I-I would’ve asked to change the day otherwise. They only mentioned it when I was leaving
to my car and— and I had to stay, so I couldn’t even warn you. I’m so, so sorry, hyungie, I’ve been
crying for two hours now. Please, d-don’t be mad at me.” he rants, words fast.
The cry and regret in his voice are enough to break Jungkook’s heart. “Baby, c’mon, don’t cry.
You know that I hate seeing your pretty eyes filled with tears.” he tries to reassure him, and he can
feel his roommate’s gaze on him. “It’s ok, my love, don’t cry, please. It breaks my heart.”
“Don’t be mad, please…” Taehyung begs, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Tae, baby, I’m not.” Jungkook guarantees. “I fucking hate that I can’t hold you right now. Please,
don’t cry. I’m not mad at you, I could never be mad at you.” he never thought that hearing
someone cry could make him feel physical pain, but there he is, struggling to breathe with the
pressure in his chest. “I’m not mad, I promise you. Don’t cry.”
Taehyung sniffs, breathing quietly to try and control his own emotions. “I-I wanted to go on
Thursday, but Jae already took the day off with a request to visit you alone, and— and I can’t just
do that to her… I’m so sorry, hyung.” he repeats yet again.
Jungkook closes his eyes. He can’t pretend that it doesn’t hurt, because this means that he’ll have
to go another whole week without seeing Taehyung. “It’s alright, love it’s already. Go get yourself
some tea and some tissues, okay? Can you do that for me?”
“Will you wait for a little bit?” Jungkook immediately agrees. “Okay… I’ll be right back.” he can
hear some rustling sounds of Taehyung putting the phone down on the bed, and he finally meets
his roommate’s eyes. Jihoon doesn’t even need to say anything for him to know what he’s asking.
“He got held back at work… He’s crying. Hearing him cry breaks my fucking heart.” Jungkook
sighs. “I knew that he’d have a good explanation, he wouldn’t just not come. He also would never
lie to me, so I feel reassured now.” he smiles a little, still holding the phone to his ear.
“I’ve never been happier for being wrong.” Jihoon places a hand on his chest, and lies back down
on his pillow. “Also, don’t start crying as well, I don’t know how to help when people cry.”
“If he keeps crying, I can’t promise you that.” the silence extends for a few minutes, and then he
hears the same rustling sounds before Taehyung’s faint voice. “Are you calmer, love?”
“Yes…” Taehyung sniffs. “I was so worried that you’d be mad at me… I panicked once I got
home and saw a text from Yoongi telling me that you got upset. I don’t want you to be upset, that’s
the very last thing that I want.” his voice starts getting worked up again.
“I was upset, and I still am upset with the idea of not seeing you for another week, but I’m not
angry or anything. I wish that you had been here, but I know that you would’ve come hadn’t it been
the surprise meeting.” all that he gets is silence, and he doesn’t want Taehyung to continue beating
himself up over that. “I love you, Tae. You’d have to do a lot more for me to be angry at you,
yeah? I’m not mad. I won’t just get angry at you for things out of your control.” he soothes.
“I love you so much, hyung.” Taehyung sighs. “I just worry because— he’d always be angry…”
And Jungkook knows exactly what he means. “I know, baby, but I’m not him. It’s just me, okay?”
“Yeah…” he clears his throat. “Just tell me about your day, please…”
“Well… I painted a bit in the morning, as per usual. I did enjoy seeing Yoongi and Jin, just not as
much as I’d enjoy seeing you, but it’s still ok.” Jungkook explains. “Oh, I also got a little medal for
being here for a month, and it’s really fucking cool. I’ll get one per month, it seems.”
“You did? Hyung, that’s so cute.” Taehyung sounds more excited now, and it makes Jungkook
smile. “I’m so proud of you, hyung, you’re doing so good. I’m so proud.” and there it is.
Taehyung’s proud of him.
│►
Chapter End Notes
The comments on the last update,,, yall don't trust Nira for shit KJDNKJDHF
Has that opinion changed in the slightest?
◄│ 75 │►
Chapter Notes
Jungkook almost jumps as his alarm wakes him up from his all-too-amazing dream, hand blindly
reaching to turn it off. He hates that sound with his whole soul, even more now that it’s interrupted
the greatness that was happening in his dream. He closes his eyes again, covered all the way to his
neck in a futile attempt to resume from where he was.
“I don’t even want to ask you why you were moaning in your sleep.” Jihoon comments, and
Jungkook’s eyes open in surprise. “You woke me up about thirty minutes ago, and I thought that
you were in pain… I was going to wake you up, and all, but then realized what was happening.”
“I was— Huh? What?” he blinks, mind still too lazy.
“Were you dreaming of your boyfriend?” his roommate asks, looking back at him.
Jungkook puckers his lips, not at all ashamed to admit that, “Yep, I was.” he laughs when Jihoon
groans with disgust all over his face. “Was I actually moaning? I mean, out loud? I have the feeling
that you’re fucking with me but, if I was indeed moaning, then I apologize for that.”
“I’m not fucking with you, how else would I know that you were dreaming about Taehyung? But
worry not, it’s fine. I’m pretty sure that you even said his name at some point…” again, Jungkook
laughs. “It’s not funny. I woke up thinking that you were having a withdrawal or some shit but,
turns out, you were just having a nasty dream over there.”
“I mean, it wasn’t that nasty, I was just—”
“I really, really, and I can’t stress this enough, really don’t want to know.” Jihoon raises a finger to
interrupt him. “I’m sorry to break it to you, but I do not want details about gay sex.”
“Man, you really don’t know what life is all about until you eat someone’s—”
“Finish that, I dare you.” Jihoon threatens.
“—ass.” Jungkook finishes anyway, and Jihoon makes a loud gagging noise that sounds a little too
real. He cackles, getting comfortable under the sheets, but his laugh dies down once his hand drags
over something that definitely shouldn’t be there. “I, uh— There’s a problem.”
“What?” his roommate looks over at him, and Jungkook lifts up the covers to look down at himself
before meeting his eyes again. “Are you hard right now?” Jungkook guiltily nods. “I didn’t
freaking need to know that, I assure you of this much.”
“Technically, you asked me.” he tries not to laugh again. “Taehyung’s really fucking hot, you can’t
blame me for being like this after a dream, just let me go shower first.” Jihoon just gestures for him
to go ahead and hurry up. “Don’t fucking look up.”
“Do you really think that I want to fucking look at— Whatever, go shower and hurry up. Also,
clean the damn wall afterwards! I had a roommate that never cleaned the wall after the deed was
done, and I’d go shower and see a bunch of— you know what, just dripping down the tiles.”
“That’s fucking disgusting, what a good idea, I’ll do that.”

“I’ll kill y—”
“I’m joking, relax, man.” Jungkook finishes gathering his clothes before heading for the bathroom.
“I’ll go enjoy my shower now… Please, do not interrupt me.”
“Trust me, I want nothing to do with that shower.”
│►
Jungkook looks down at the table with a frown as his two friends chat about something that he’s
not at all paying attention to. His mind can only make him see one face, hear one name, think of
one thing. Taehyung, Taehyung, Taehyung. He sighs, “I miss my Taehyungie.”
“Jesus fucking Christ, man. I’ve been listening to this for weeks.” Nira complains, lightly punching
the table. “We get it, you’re in love, but we’re single, so spare us from feeling even more single.”
They both quietly stare at her, a little taken aback. She’s always so excited and happy in the
mornings, so her being snappy and unhappy isn’t something that they’re used to. Jihoon takes a
moment before daring to speak. “Are you still on your period or s—”
“Jihoon, I will slap you with the fucking tray.” she threatens.
“Hm, I’ll take that as a yes.”
“Guys, shut up, I miss Taehyung.” Nira opens her mouth with an angry frown, more than ready to
complain again, but he interrupts her. “No, you don’t understand. I woke up this morning missing
my Taehyung.” he sighs. “Are you not following what I mean?”
“Not really, no.” she shakes her head. “You always wake up missing him.”
“Gosh, you’re fucking slow. He woke up with a boner because he had a nasty dream.” Jihoon
explains before Jungkook can give another hint for her to miss. “Quite traumatizing, I’d say.”
“Oh, you’re horny today.” Nira smirks, finally catching on. Jungkook groans as he rubs his eyes to
try and remove those thoughts from the very front of his brain, but they don’t want to go anywhere;
he also doesn’t want to have to run out of the cafeteria with another problem.
“We’ve all been there.” Jihoon tries to help.
“How do you guys cope with it? I mean, you and Taehyung. It must be hard to just be away from
your boyfriend like that.” she asks, genuinely curious. “How have you been doing so far? Jihoon
could use some tips, so share them.” Jihoon decides not to answer, but does let out a heavy sigh.
“We don’t.”
They both look up. “Huh?” they let out at the same time. “Just send him a picture of your dick,
then, the fuck…?” Nira says as if it’s a little too obvious, but he just lets out a pained chuckle at the
suggestion. “That’s how sexting works these days: you send him a picture, you send one back, you
talk each other through rubbing yourselves for a little, and there you go, relief.”
“You don’t know Tae… He would block my number without a second of hesitation if he opened a
text from me and saw my full dick.” Jihoon chokes on his coffee, coughing a few times in between
laughter. “Don’t laugh, it’s painful. Cute… but painful.”
“Is he a shy one? Those are the best…” Nira smirks, winking at him.
“Hey, don’t talk about him like that… but I know, right?” he mirrors her grin.
“For fuck’s sake, can we have one fucking meal in peace? Just one day!”
│►
“You, sit on the floor.” Nira instructs as she points at Jihoon, dragging Jungkook by the wrist into
his own room, only letting go when already there. “C’mon, sit down with us.” she pats the floor as
she sits down and Jungkook follows, a little reluctant. “I snuck some UNO cards for us.”
“I’m actually bored, so you can count me in.” Jihoon closes his magazine, sliding down on the bed
until he’s sitting on the rug. “I haven’t played this game in ages, this will be nostalgic.”
“Can I admit something before we begin this?” Jungkook prefaces as Nira starts shuffling the
cards. “Don’t start with the no-childhood jokes, but I’ve never played this game in my life.” they
both look at him, surprised. “Please, explain the rules to me.”
“Sure, it’s quite simple.” Nira starts. “Each one of us is given seven cards at the start, and we take
one from the deck and place it in the middle for the starter card. Then, you can put a card of the
same color, or you can put one of the same number. If you put down the prohibited sign, this one,
it’s the miss-a-go, and the next player can’t play on that round. There are some cards with a plus-
two, which means that you have to get two cards from the deck…”
“I’m following.” Jungkook nods. “Anything else?”
“Yep.” she starts placing the cards in front of them. “If you get a plus-four, besides ruining a
friendship, you also make the other player have to get four cards, and you can change the color that
is put down next. There are also cards solely just to change the color… And, oh—! You have to
say UNO once you’re left with just one card, otherwise we can make you pick up seven new ones
if we’re faster to notice.”
“Don’t forget the reverse card.” Jihoon adds on. “There are cards with two arrows that just mean
that you get to change the direction of the game.” Jungkook blinks, picking up his cards as he tries
to remember all of the information. “It’s easier when playing than when explaining, and it’s
entertaining, so you’ll like it.”
“Let’s start.” Nira picks a card from the deck, placing it in the center. A blue eight. “You’re a
beginner, so you should start this off.” Jungkook hums, analyzing his cards. “You can put down
any blue card, or any eight.” she instructs to help him.
“Alright, alright…” Jungkook nods. “I have that.” he nods again before putting down a yellow
eight. The first three rounds go on smoothly, until Jungkook gets stuck. “I have a question.”
“Let me see.” Nira leans in, checking his cards. “You can either put this one down, or that one
since you have more of this color… Or you can also just put that one down and fuck his game up.”
she explains, and Jungkook listens attentively; he’s always hated losing.
“Hey, this is not un-us, stop helping him against me.” Jihoon calls them out, making them both
laugh. Nira leans away again with her hands up in surrender. “Don’t you dare put down a plus-four
card, or I’ll—” Jungkook does exactly that. “I hate this game.”
“Can I share something with you guys?” Nira changes the topic as she puts down her cards, getting
the game to continue. “I went to one of the therapists this morning. It was kind of weird, but it felt
nice… You guys should try it out sometime. Talking to someone feels good.”
Jungkook shakes his head. “I don’t trust the therapists in this place.” he admits.
“Why— You can’t put that card down— Why not?” Jihoon asks.
“Goddamn, stupid game…” Jungkook complains to himself as he picks his card up again and
chooses a new one. “And, I don’t know, they’re all overly positive, everything is too fucking
positive for them, but life isn’t like that. You want people to emphasize with you, not for them to
stare at you with a smile as if you’re not telling them concerning traumas.”
“They’re all like that, I believe.” Nira bends one of her legs, resting her chin on her knee.
“Tae’s not like that.” Jungkook lets out without even realizing, and they both face him with wide
eyes, clearly surprised by the new information.
“Taehyung’s a therapist?!” Nira questions. “Why didn’t you ever tell us? That’s such an interesting
thing to know, I feel wronged.” she pushes him by the shoulder without much force.
“If your boyfriend is a therapist, why are you here” Jihoon asks; Nira covers her mouth as soon as
she processes the words, and Jungkook looks up at him with his jaw so prominent from biting
down on his teeth that she worries that he might pull something.
“Why do you keep coming back?” Jungkook asks back before he can stop himself. Nira opens her
mouth to stop whatever is about to happen, but he’s faster. “Not everything works the same way
for everyone, and my boyfriend isn’t responsible for my mental health, so shut the fuck up instead
of speaking next time, acting like you just know it all.”
Nira puts her card down ever so quietly. “Uno…” she almost whispers.
They both look at her. “How? Already?!”
“You were measuring dicks, I just continued the game.” the young woman shrugs. “Can you two,
pretty please, not fight? I’m not strong enough to stop you two if it gets too far, and I hate how
tense this has gotten. Just— Stop, okay?”
Neither answer, they simply look at her in silence, but Jihoon does speak up again. “I just asked
because if I had a therapist for a partner, I probably would be able to stop coming back. I didn’t
mean it in a judging way, I was just… genuinely curious.”
“If I had a friend at all when this all started for me, maybe I wouldn’t be here right now. Not
everything is what it seems, Jihoon, so just— just don’t assume shit like that, ok? This is the exact
reason why I didn’t want to tell you guys about Tae being a therapist, to begin with.” he sighs,
handing Nira his unused cards after Jihoon does so as well.
“I get it, I shouldn’t have said anything…” Jihoon looks down.
“I’m going to start shuffling for the next round.” Nira informs, trying to change the topic and ease
away the tense atmosphere, and it works. Well, for the most part, it does. They’re able to play a
full round without any other bitter comment, but they also don’t say a single word.
They play in complete silence.
Nira shuffles the cards again, looking between the two, and they start another round.
Jungkook puts down a plus-two card with a little smile, expecting Jihoon to get two cards from the
deck but, instead, he places a card that looks like his own, and Nira does the same. He’s positively
confused. “Get six cards, Kookie.” she instructs with a laugh.
“Wait, what—” Jungkook looks between his cards and the ones on the floor. “I didn’t know that
we could pile them up like that.” he complains with a frown that makes him look like a kicked
puppy; it almost makes his adversaries feel bad — almost.
“Rookie mistake.” Jihoon gestures towards the deck.
Jungkook groans, picking up the six cards, and Nira thinks of how to word her next question so
that they can start talking again. “So… How did you meet Taehyung? Will you finally tell us that
story now that we know his profession, or will you continue keeping it a secret until the end of the
times?” she questions as the game resumes.
“Well…” Jungkook isn’t sure of how to answer it. “We first met, like, many years ago when we
were in high school.” they both gasp, cooing. “Don’t do that, we didn’t really, uhm, like each other.
Although I had a crush on him, I was kind of an asshole in high school…”
“You’ve been in love since high school… I’m actually going to cry.” Nira places a hand on her
chest, lips tugged down. “That’s so freaking cute, I don’t even care that you didn’t get along.”
“I didn’t love him, I just had a small crush. It was so… banal that it went away after I finished
school. Besides, he’s two years younger than me and, at that age, that’s a lot. We were in very
different places in life at that time.” he sighs, putting another card down. “Uno!” he remembers.
“That was a close one.” Jihoon accuses. “Go on.”
“We didn’t see each other for, what, ten years…? Then, my depressed, alcoholic self had to look
for a therapist to maybe solve some of the shit that I had going on, and—”
“Shut up!” Nira interrupts. “Was he the therapist? That’s literally destiny, you have to get fucking
married, everything was aligned for you two to be together!” she says, a little too enthusiastically,
and Jungkook tsks.
“Yes, Nira, I’m sure that I became an alcoholic to meet the love of my life.” Jungkook nods,
sarcastic. “And, would you look at that… The rookie just one.” he puts the last card down.
“That, my friend, is what I call beginner’s luck.” Jihoon shrugs. “But, please, go on. I’m oddly
interested in this story.” he gathers the cards to start shuffling them himself this time.
“I mean, there isn’t much else to add…? We got really close, which probably isn’t supposed to
happen between a therapist and a patient, but it did happen. He had some shit going on, so he ended
up moving in with me. I fell in love with him, I had a girlfriend, I broke up with her because I was
in love with him… I confessed during Christmas, and he didn’t like me back, but we still started
kind of dating. He fell in love with me, and I asked him to be my boyfriend at midnight on New
Year’s, and we started actually dating and… Here we are. It’s all still very recent.”
His friends have to take a second to process it all.
Jihoon tilts his head. “My question is… Why the fuck did you have a girlfriend?”
“Don’t ask me… I was needy for affection, and she was just— there at the time. It didn’t last.”
Then, Nira starts laughing. “You’re telling us that you confessed on Christmas and he really told
you ‘I don’t like you’? Man, that’s so fucking sad, but I can laugh because you’re together now.”
“He didn’t say it like that! Besides, I got many kisses that night, and every day and night following
that, so I guess that the short-lived humiliation was definitely worth it.” he smiles.
“I feel… really single.”
“Same.”
│►
“—and then, as she was almost there, I just stuck my—” Nira stops her story when someone sits
down in front of them, both of them looking up. Jihoon slides a plate with cake towards Jungkook
and the latter stares at it for a few seconds in silence, questioningly.
“Is this your way of apologizing?” Jungkook raises an eyebrow, looking up at him.
“Perhaps.” Jihoon nods.
“That’s much coming from him, so I’d take the cake.” Nira whispers only for him to hear.
“You know that I can just get up and get a slice myself, right?” he tilts his head.
“Sure, but now you don’t have to get up to get one.” Jihoon smiles, taking his chopsticks to start
enjoying his dinner. “C’mon, I don’t want you to be mad at me for what I said earlier.”
“I’m not mad, it’s fine.” Jungkook shrugs.
“But it’s not really fine, I shouldn’t have said that… You’re a really good friend, and I like you
quite a lot, so I don’t— I don’t want you to be mad at me, alright? I apologize, I crossed a line, and
I shouldn’t have, so I apologize. I hope that you accept my apology… and the cake, too.”
“God, he has feelings.” Nira teases; Jihoon gives her a firm glare.
“Apologies accepted. And the cake, too.” Jungkook smiles. “I wasn’t angry at you, just a bit
annoyed and kind of disappointed to hear that from you. I’m sorry for bringing back the fact that
you’ve come back a few times… I had no right to do that, either.”
“You didn’t lie, so… It’s fine.” he shrugs. “Let’s just talk about something else, please. I get
awkward with these things, I just wanted to properly apologize. What were you talking about
before I arrived? We could go back to it, and all.”
“Uhm… I don’t think that you’ll want to know about the first time that I used a strap-on—”
“You’re right, I do not want to know.” Jihoon interrupts, taking a piece of broccoli in his
chopsticks, bus his hand freezes before he puts it in his mouth. “Hold up, is this story about you
with another girl? Because if yes, then I’m… I’d say, interested to hear about it.”
“Oh? Didn’t you say that you have no interest in gay sex?” Jungkook challenges.
“There’s no right way to answer this, I fear, so I won’t.” he shrugs, finally eating the broccoli.
“I won’t tell the story, then.”
Jungkook frowns. “But I wanted to hear the rest…!”
│►
Jungkook closes the bathroom door, making sure that it’s locked as he hears the beeps of the call
going through. He slides down on the wall until he’s sitting down on the tiled floor. His boyfriend
picks up soon enough. “Babe, I miss you.” Jungkook says before he has the chance to say anything
at all.
“Aw… I miss you, t—”
“No, no, I miss you.” Jungkook tries to put emphasis on his words, praying for Taehyung to get it
without him having to actually explain it. He’s not embarrassed to talk about it, nor is he
embarrassed about having wet dreams about his boyfriend, but he doesn’t want to make Taehyung
uncomfortable by saying those words explicitly. “Nastily.” he decides to add.
“I’m afraid that I’m not following…” Taehyung admits, contrary to his expectations.
For some reason, after having such a dream, Taehyung being so innocent towards the matter only
makes his body ache even more for his boyfriend. “I, and I’ll repeat, miss you.”
“I-I miss you, too…?” the blonde almost asks, clearly still not catching up to what he’s trying to
say. “What’s going on with you today? You’re being weird.” he chuckles, puzzled, and Jungkook
sighs. He’s going to have to just say it and risk getting his number blocked.
“My dick, Tae. My dick misses you.” his statement is followed by a few seconds of silence, and he
has to check whether the call is still going or not; it is. “Tae?”
“Your… penis misses me?” he asks in a small voice.
“Fuck, don’t say it like that, you sound so fucking cute.” Jungkook groans, the last few words
coming out as a whine; he closes his eyes, head thrown back against the wall. “Don’t fret, I didn’t
tell you in order to get anything from you, I just thought that you should know that you’ve been
driving me crazy the whole day today. I’ll be fine tomorrow but… all that I could think of today
was your ass and— God, your fucking perfect lips. I’m going crazy.”
“I-I’m not sure of how to— I feel bad…” Taehyung says with an audible pout. “I wish I could help,
but I, uhm, I don’t… Is there any way for me to help…?” he whispers, a little hesitant.
“Tae.” he calls, and Taehyung doesn’t fail to notice how deeper his voice gets.
“Yeah?”
“Would you mind if—” Jungkook stops, biting down on his bottom lip. “You’re either going to end
the call or straight up block me, but I’ll risk it anyway. Would you mind if I… How can I word this
in a way that won’t make you too awkward or shy… Would you mind if I pleased myself while
talking to you?” the silence that follows feels a little too long. “You don’t have to do anything, you
just have to keep talking, and—”
“Okay.” Taehyung whispers, but it’s enough to interrupt him. “Do whatever you have to do.” he
adds, and it’s enough of a green card for Jungkook to open his sweatpants with just one hand, the
other still holding the phone. “I do have to say that I appreciate the fact that you asked me instead
of just going for it…”
“I’d never do anything like that without your consent, it wouldn’t feel right.”
Taehyung smiles. “Thank you for reminding me, again, that you’re perfect.”
Jungkook feels his heart melt a little. “Just tell me about your day, my love.”
“Oh, I didn’t really do anything today.” Taehyung starts, and Jungkook tries to concentrate, but his
mind only registers the sound of his boyfriend’s voice, and not the actual words. He still hums just
to let him know that he’s listening. “I went to work, and just came straight home. I did watch some
movies, and took Moon out before coming in to take your c—”
“What are you wearing?” Jungkook lets out.
Taehyung gapes. “I, uhm, one of your shirts…”
Jungkook groans, his grip on the phone tightening. “What else?”
“I’m actually not wearing anything else since I’m just alone in bed right now.” Taehyung admits,
bottom lip then caught between his teeth, and Jungkook can almost hear a buzzing sound from his
mind stopping for a moment. “Are you okay…?” Taehyung asks when he only gets silence.
Jungkook’s mouth is open in a silent moan as his hand continues working up and down on his
length. “Are you really not wearing anything? Are you trying to kill me?” he almost cries. “You
looked so fucking good in the dream that I had, baby, I couldn’t stop thinking about it the whole
fucking day. You were sucking me off so good that Jihoon said that I was moaning in my sleep.”
“Oh, my God…” Taehyung whispers, lying down as he stares at the ceiling. The call has taken a
path that he never thought that he’d be able to go to comfortably, but he doesn’t feel like ending
the call, he doesn’t feel like running away from it. If his boyfriend only needs his presence and his
voice to satisfy himself, then he wants to help, to be there — even if his cheeks burn.
“Can you talk some more? I haven’t done anything in so long that I’m literally almost there, this is
fucking embarrassing.” Jungkook admits, and Taehyung covers his face with his hand. He does
continue to talk, even when he starts being able to hear Jungkook’s breathy moans on the other
side. He’s too shy to comment on them, or to as exactly what he’s doing, so he doesn’t.
He’s unsure of how long it takes before he hears a dragged call of his name before the call is filled
with complete silence and then, a couple of seconds later, ragged breathing.
“I should… clean this up.” Jungkook speaks after a moment of calming himself down, and the
blonde only lets out a low hum; he wants to ask, he wants to be helpful, but his tongue feels heavy
in his mouth, and like he can’t form any words. “My love, I’m really fucking sorry for how weird
this probably was for you, but today has been torturous for me, and—”
“No, no, don’t apologize. It’s okay.” Taehyung guarantees. “Do you feel… any better?” he asks,
and Jungkook breathes out a quiet ‘yes’ in confirmation. “That’s good. I’m glad that I could help
you in any way…”
“You’re not upset, are you…?” Jungkook questions, worried.
“Not at all, hyung, I promise. I’m just a little surprised about all of this.” he admits, and he hears
that cocky laugh that Jungkook has sometimes; it’s usually followed by some teasing, so he’s faster
to speak to avoid it. “Do not tease me for this.”
“Alright, I won’t.” Jungkook promises with a smile in his voice. “Thank you, really. I’m going to
take a quick shower, and then head to bed… I’ll call you once I’m under the sheets, okay?”
“Perfect. I’ll be waiting. I love you.”
“I love you too, baby.” as the call is finished, Taehyung rolls over to his side. He finds it a little
impossible to ignore the pulsing feeling between his legs, but he doesn’t even want to acknowledge
it. He’s beyond confused as to why he’s reacting like that in the first place.
He used to never get excited with anything that Hyungsik did but, all of a sudden, his entire body
responds in such a way just by hearing Jungkook’s quiet moans. He doesn’t quite understand it, he
doesn’t understand how he could get like that just by listening to his boyfriend pleasuring himself.
Maybe it’s wrong. Maybe it’s wrong to feel that way, and he feels embarrassed.
With a breathy sigh, he focuses on waiting for Jungkook’s call, deciding that the right thing to do
is to simply ignore his own body and act like he’s not feeling hot all over; and that’s exactly what
he does.
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 76 │►
Chapter Notes
“Thank you for seeing me in such short notice.” Taehyung smiles as he sits down in front of his
colleague, Namjoon smiling as well before he pushes the coffee mug towards the blonde. “I know
I called you out of nowhere but… I really needed to talk.”
“Please, that’s why I’m here. I’m your friend above all. Besides, I wasn’t doing anything at home,
I don’t mind having a coffee to catch up and all that. I ordered yours with a brief touch of milk,
hope that’s ok, I wasn’t sure of what to get for you.” Namjoon explains, opening his notes and
placing them on the table looking for Taehyung’s page.
“No, it’s perfect, thank you so much.” he sighs. “I’m… very hesitant to talk about what brings me
here, actually and— you may feel as though it’s really stupid of me to even think like this so… I
will honestly understand, alright?”
“I’m not here to judge you, and you know that way too well, Tae, it’s your profession, too.”
Namjoon immediately shakes his head. “And nothing that hurts you is stupid. You can tell me, I’ll
try my best to understand.” Taehyung nods, looking down.
He places his hands around his mug. It’s still hot, he finds it quite relaxing. “I’m fortunate to know
many people. I have many people who I consider friends, but we don’t really just… hang out all
that much, I see them occasionally. I do have my two best friends… Jimin and Hoseok, as you
know, and uh… they’re getting married soon.”
“Oh they are? That’s so amazing.” Namjoon takes a hand to his chest. “I feel so happy for them,
I’m sure it will be a lovely ceremony.”
“They haven’t distributed the invitations yet, I’m sure there will be one for you.” Taehyung smiles.
“But, yeah, they’re getting married soon and it’s… taking a lot of their time. Jungkook’s been gone
for a little over a month and I just— I feel really selfish for saying this, but I feel so lonely. I really
do.”
“That’s pretty reasonable, Taehyung.” Namjoon nods, gesturing with the hand holding the pen.
“Doesn’t make you selfish. At all. You miss not only your boyfriend but also your friends, it’s
bound to make you feel lonely.”
“I left my home to go to college and I had a roommate there… then I moved with Hyungsik. When
we broke up I moved in with Jungkook. I was never… by myself and I’m learning how I really
don’t work on my own.” Taehyung tries to explain, voice quiet, eyes on his coffee. He’s afraid of
sounding selfish.
“Some people find it tough not to be around others you’re just finding you’re one of them.” the
blonde sighs. “Have you been talking to Jungkook?”
“Yes, we call every day… talking to him is the highlight of my days.” Taehyung looks up with a
frown. “I’m really proud of him and he’s made friends there so hopefully he’s having… not to say
fun but, an ok time, if not a good time, so I feel like— I don’t want to bother him with this, I don’t
want to tell him. He’s worked so hard his whole life and he’s only now having a chance of…
getting better and I can’t be the one messing that up for him by making him stress or something.”
“So you’d rather suffer in silence?”
“Definitely.” Taehyung nods.
“We both know Jungkook’s a very understanding man… if you told him you feel like this, he’d
understand it. And I’m almost sure he’d give you his most caring, most reassuring words… I find
it rather weird you’re hiding this from him.” Namjoon tilts his head. “Your bond is phenomenal, I
wouldn’t think you wouldn’t be able to tell him something.”
“No, don’t get me wrong, I know, I know the man I’m dating and I know he’d understand, but I
also know he’d be upset himself, and I don’t want that. He’s been there for a little over a month
and I’ve been feeling like this for a long time, I’m just… acting like I’m not. So that he doesn’t
worry about such silly things while he’s there.” Taehyung finishes with a little awkward chuckle.
“It’s not silly, it’s a pretty reasonable thing.” Namjoon interposes. “I know it won’t exactly change
the situation on the outside, he can’t do anything about Jimin and Hoseok being busy nor can he
just get out of there, but it would make you feel better.”
“I… I want to make sure his time there is as less stressful as possible, I prefer to just… keep this to
myself. I’d rather be sad than make him worry.” Taehyung says, determined, and his friend has to
keep himself from sighing. He can already tell there will be no way to change his mind so easily.
“Then you should go out. Make a friend, distract yourself.” he suggests instead. “You’re a really
nice guy, you can make friends easily.”
“I don’t want to go out alone, though…” Taehyung frowns. “Minjae actually asked me to hang out
with him the day he joined but I didn't— I didn’t accept to go.” Namjoon looks curious, and he
already knows the question on his way, so he decides to just answer before he hears it. “I didn’t
feel that comfortable with him at the time.” he hides the reason why.
“Oh, really? We’ve had lunch with him two or three times, I thought you were ok?” Namjoon asks
with an eyebrow raised.
“I am ok with him now just— when he asked, I really didn’t get the right feeling to just say yes and
go out with him right away, you know?” he shrugs. It’s silent for a few seconds, Namjoon can tell
he wants to add something more, and Taehyung ponders on just being honest. He decides it’s the
right thing to do. “If you add the fact that he was asking me out with further intentions other than
friendship, I think you’ll understand why I said no.”
“He… asked you out in the sense of a date?” Taehyung nods. “Ok, I can see the problem… I’m
guessing you told him about Jungkook?”
“Right away, yes.”
“Hm.” he taps his chin with the pen. “I do think that if you make sure he knows, and I mean knows
you’re taken, surrounding yourself with him won’t be a bad idea, he may be a good friend and he
may help you feel less lonely during these moments. Just make sure he’s respectful and doesn’t
take you saying yes to going out as you saying yes to a date.”
“Do you think so…?” Namjoon nods. Taehyung sighs. “I just want to be distracted. I want to have
someone to hang out with, I’m terrible when I’m alone, I get in a sad mood.” he frowns. “Perhaps
accepting to just go for a coffee would be… alright.”
“It will do you good, Tae, I’m sure it will.”

│►
“Hey, Kookie.” he looks up as he hears his name being called out and Nira waves at him to follow
her. She disappears before he can even question so he’s forced to get up if he wants to know what’s
happening. “You’re coming with me, ok?”
“Ok… where, though?” Nira shrugs.
“Group therapy.” Jungkook stops walking. “Please don’t stop, I don’t want to go by myself… I
already dragged Jihoon, he’s there waiting. Please. I want to speak today and I need you two
there.” she pouts, pulling the best puppy eyes she can. “Please, please…!”
Jungkook sighs, hard, loud. “Fine.” she smiles, hand finding his forearm to drag him along the
hallway. Jungkook allows her to do so, only stopping once in the same room he’s only been in
once. It has already started, Jihoon has saved two seats.
Nira allows Jungkook to sit between them and he doesn’t even try to pay attention to the lady
speaking. He doesn’t like the activities, much less the group therapy. He only enjoys painting and
hanging with his two friends. Nothing else sparks his interest.
Only does he perk up when Nira gets up from her seat to go to the front. He sits up, paying
attention. Jihoon’s posture exactly like his. “Hi guys.” she starts. “I’m Nira.”
“Hi, Nira.” everyone says at the same time. Jungkook refuses to even open his mouth. That’s just
so stupid.
“So… I’m twenty two, I’m here for drugs. Cocaine specifically. It all started four years ago when I
met a boy, I’ll keep his name a secret, and he was so attractive that I couldn’t keep my distance. He
was really… cool. He drunk a lot, but I was stupid, I had that mentality that I could change him.”
Jungkook furrows his eyebrows. He’s almost sure of where the story is going and he doesn’t like it.
“I started hanging out more and more with him and his… friends. I fell in love. Hard. And I started
to change the way I thought into, I have to be cool too, I didn’t want him to leave.” she speaks with
her eyes set on the small microphone that Jungkook has gathered doesn’t work at all. He can see
her losing focus, deep in her thoughts. “So when one night they all started making coke lines and
he handed me a bill… I just, I couldn’t say no. I just snorted all of it.”
“After that it was just… downfall. We’d do coke every day, I got addicted pretty fast since I had
never even drunk before meeting him. When he tried to start getting physical with me and I said I
wasn’t ready, he got distant. He got manipulative, he got really dark.” she sighs. “I reported him to
the police one time he tried to hit me and I didn’t really see him much after that. But the addiction
stayed and so did the memories… I hate him, but I hate what he left me with even more.” there’s a
tear running down her cheek.
She may not be the most emotive storyteller, Jungkook notes, but seeing her crying is enough for
his heart to crumble. He feels bad for his friend, not only is she crying but also went through such
rough thing. For a boy. Not a man. A boy.
“Ugh.” she laughs awkwardly through her tears, wiping them away. “I know this is stupid and I
suck at explaining things, I don’t— I shouldn’t even have shared anything, this is stupid. I feel so
stupid.” Nira is quick to step down and Jihoon is quick to ask her if she’s ok. She only nods. “It
was a stupid idea, let’s g—”
Jungkook can’t let her think like that. So he gets up, making her stop walking away once he heads
to the little podium instead. Jihoon pulls Nira to sit down right away, both wide eyed. “Uh.”
Jungkook says once there. He didn’t think it through. Didn’t think it through at all.
He just wanted her to feel like it was ok to go up there but now he’s positively sure that he’s about
to make a fool out of himself in front of everyone. “Jungkook.” the leader calls out and he’s
surprised the man remembers his name. “Tells us your story now, if you will. What lead you to
your addiction?”
He looks down at the podium. “When… When I think about my childhood I only remember the
screams and broken glass and— crying and my sister, who killed herself, sitting on my lap trying to
ignore what was happening… I remember my mom, who’s dead too, keep track, hurrying me to
lock my room so that— it would keep him away. I remember him, my dad.” Jihoon shares a look
with Nira. She’s no longer crying.
“I remember how violent he was because of alcohol. He terrorized my sister and I the most, we
were so young. And— and I made a promise. I promised her, I made a promise that I’d, sorry, I
promised to protect her and— and I promised I’d never turn out to be like— like him. I wouldn’t
let her down, wouldn’t become the man that raised us. I wouldn’t hurt anyone if I could prevent it,
I wouldn’t. I’m here because I broke that promise.” he can hear some gasps and so he looks up.
Everyone looks way too focused. “What happened?” someone asked, curious, speaking for the rest.
“I was getting there. Be patient.” he inhales. “I ran away from home when I was eighteen and I had
nothing, that’s when I turned to alcohol. I wanted everything to stop. Really. I wanted to put an end
to everything, many times. But I couldn’t because I made a promise… but I couldn’t live either,
because I was hurting too much. I drank so that I could sleep but suddenly I was addicted and— I
began to want to end things even more. Until my boyfriend showed up.”
Nira wipes a new tear away. She knew Jungkook was troubled, it wasn’t hard for anyone to grasp
that. By the little she has known of him, but that? Having such dark thoughts about ending
everything? Having all his loved ones dead? She would never imagine.
It makes her heart ache.
Another tear rolls down her cheek just by visualizing the story he’s telling. A way better storyteller
than her, she has to admit. Jungkook chuckles, looking up for a second to keep his own tears away.
“I’ve embarrassed myself enough so let’s fast forward.”
There’s a few chuckles.
“My boyfriend, he’s uh… he’s the best. Really. He’s the best guy I’ve ever met. He’s so incredibly
patient, caring, understanding, he doesn’t judge me for anything, he helps me in every way he can,
he’s so… beautiful. Both on the inside and the outside. I could talk about him for hours, he’s just
my best friend above anything else.” he smiles, eyes still down on the podium. Thinking about
Taehyung makes him smile.
Everyone watches as his expression turns sad instead. “I hid my addiction from him for a long time.
Even after he found out and I agreed to stop, I didn’t. Until one night… I drank and— I got
violent.”
There’s a few gasps in the room again and when he looks up, he can see his two friends with their
jaws falling. Shocked. He rushes to go on. “I didn’t hit him, stop looking at me like that, I probably
would’ve have thrown myself out the window if I had touched him in such way. I was just— so
fucking devastated and when he came home and saw me drunk, I became sad and embarrassed. I
didn’t want him to see me like that, so I pushed him away, I broke a bottle… I— I shoved him
back… and he wasn’t hurt, but he got scared.”
His eyes well up. “He was scared of me. I’ll never forget that. I’ll never forget his face when he
looked at me. I was so drunk I didn’t remember it clearly in the morning but with time it came back
to me and… I can’t forget it.” Jungkook sniffs, not even bothering to wipe away the two tears
rolling down. “I’ll never forget it.”
“Knowing I scared the person that I care for the most really broke me. I acted like it didn’t, but
knowing he saw me like anything other than a safe place, even if for a fucki— for a split second…
it took a toll on me for a while. It’s the biggest reason as to why I’m here. And Nira, if you think
you’re stupid for speaking, don’t, I’m currently the source of entertainment of these people.”
Everyone laughs, it’s a quiet laugh, not disrespectful in the slightest. Jungkook smiles himself. “So
yeah, shit why am I tearing up, what a loser. Hum, ok, yeah that’s all, I guess. I’m here because of
him but myself too, even— even if he was the push I needed. I want to be better, I’ve always
wanted to be better… for him, for my sister, who I’ve learned is not a reason for me to give up but
for me to live on… For my friends, too.”
He chews the inside of his cheek. “This place is helping me a lot. I haven’t been feeling sick in a
long time, I met two idiots that are actually really good friends and an amazing support—” Nira
makes him a heart with her hands. “—and I’m learning a bit about myself, myself without
Taehyung. Apparently he’s a thing, I haven’t even thought of him ever since I started dating, but he
exists. Jungkook by himself is someone too. And by no means am I saying I prefer it this way, I
just want to get out and kiss my boyfriend and fucking— hug him for a whole day, but I can
function. Which is weird, I didn’t know I could.”
“He’s going to go into another Taehyung rant.” Jihoon whispers as he leans towards Nira and she
giggles, hitting him with her elbow. “I’m enjoying this, though.”
“We’re learning something about him. Finally.” she whispers back. “Quite emotional but
surprising too.” Jihoon only nods, both waiting for Jungkook to continue speaking. And soon he
does.
“I should stop right here. I spoke too much already.” Jungkook steps down, wiping away his tears
from the start of his little speech. “That’s all.” everyone claps, as they always do after a speech,
and Jungkook tries not to meet anyone’s eyes.
“You did really well, Jungkook.” the leader says. “I remember your first day here, you were very
angry. You’re not angry anymore, it’s an amazing thing to see. Makes me feel happy for you.”
Jungkook bites down his bottom lip. That’s. Oddly nice to hear.
“Thank you.” he whispers, sitting down. Nira hugs him from the side, kissing his cheek as she says
how proud she is and Jihoon simply ruffles his hair.
“You did well.” he says.
“Thank you, guys.”
│►
Jungkook hums a song quietly to himself, tapping his thigh with his fingers as he waits for
Taehyung to pick up his call and he does after the line beeping two or three times. “Hey, hyungie.”
Taehyung says with a smile audible in his voice.
“Hey, baby.” Jihoon covers his own head with a pillow, making Jungkook struggle not to laugh.
“How are you?” he asks, looking away from his roommate that soon enough pushes the pillow
away to be able to breathe.
“I’m okay.” Taehyung hums to himself. “You? What did you do today… painted in the morning,
I’m guessing…?” Jungkook chuckles.
“Yes, I did. Nira usually takes a nap and Jihoon is cranky in the morning so we just do our own
things. I like painting, so I just paint until lunch time.” he shrugs. “Can you turn on the camera? I
miss your face.”
“Oh, yes, of course.” there’s a few rustling sounds before Jungkook’s phone gets the new video
call request. They usually prefer to just have a regular call so that it’s kept to them as much as
possible, once in video Jihoon is able to hear Taehyung as well.
The first thing he sees once the image appears on his screen is a sniffing dog. “Baby!” he says
immediately, Moon’s ears perking up, taking a step back to look at the phone in confusion. Then
she barks as Jungkook waves. Barks a lot, trying to lick the screen.
“She probably gets so confused.” Taehyung giggles, pushing her away carefully before kissing the
crown of her head. “Look at that, it’s daddy, look at that.” he says with a higher voice, keeping the
phone on an angle where she’s able to see but not reach.
“Gosh, I miss her so much.” he frowns.
“Daddy—” Jihoon gags. “My life was so much better before hearing this.” Jungkook laughs, his
head thrown back into the wall. Taehyung chuckles too, a little confused. “Your boyfriend calls
you daddy? I’ll never look at you the same way.”
“I don’t!” Taehyung rushes to say with a laugh of his own. “He’s just Moon’s dad.”
“Alright, that’s acceptable.” Jihoon hums, opening a book. “Do resume your conversation, act as
though I’m not here but please, I’m here, keep it pg.” Jungkook rolls his eyes, finally looking back
to his phone. Taehyung places his on top of something so that it’s standing straight and Jungkook
can’t help but to be lost into the sight.
Taehyung’s just too beautiful. It shouldn’t be allowed, he thinks. Looking that good. He has no
idea how he got so lucky to get himself such boyfriend. “Koo? You there?”
“Oh— yes, yes, sorry.” Jungkook shakes his head to focus, noticing how Taehyung has a makeup
brush in his hand. He did notice the light brown eyeshadow in his eyes but he just thought he went
to work like that. Taehyung taking the brush to his eye again proves him wrong, he’s only now
applying it. “You don’t wear makeup often.” he points out.
“I know, I just wear it when I want to look pretty for you.” Jungkook opens his mouth, ready to say
he always does, but he’s beat to it. “Or when I’m going out.” he tilts his head.
“Are you going out tonight?” Taehyung nods with a little smile. “Alright, that’s good, I hope you
have fun, baby.” he smiles too, falling silent once Taehyung’s eyes meet his even if through the
screen. “You look absolutely gorgeous.”
“Thank you, baby.” he smiles even more as Taehyung’s cheeks go crimson red. “And I’ll just leave
once you fall asleep, so don’t worry.” Taehyung looks for something behind the phone, soon
enough pulling a tube of lip gloss. Jungkook does love when his lips look all shiny.
“Are you going with Jimin?” he asks, just to make conversation.
“Actually— no, I’m not. There’s a new doctor, I think I told you about him…? Minjae?’’
Jungkook nods. “He invited me for a coffee some time ago and I said no at the time but I felt like
going out tonight so I accepted his invitation.” Taehyung explains, voice a little careful. He knows
Jungkook, but he can’t help but to be reminded of the past. He wasn’t allowed to meet anyone but
Jimin and Hoseok.
“That’s good, maybe you’ll make a new friend.” Jungkook smiles, though it’s not as open. He
doesn’t want to make the worst scenarios in his mind so he forces himself not to even think about
it. Taehyung can make friends, it shouldn’t even be up for discussion. “Call a cab if you drink,
alright?” it’s the only thing he says.
“Oh, we’re just having coffee.” Taehyung shrugs, staring back at the phone once he’s finished.
“You look sleepy.”
“I am.” Jungkook closes his eyes, giving him a tired smile that does nothing but make the other
coo. “I woke up really early for no reason so I just want to sleep.”
“You can lay down, if you’d like, I’ll—” Taehyung stops as a text notification is heard and
Jungkook watches his face morph into a little frown, reaching for the phone. “He texted.” it’s a
little mumble as he opens it. “He’s… downstairs…”
“You said you’d go when our call was done…” Jungkook whispers, unable to keep his
discontentment to himself.
“I didn’t— I didn’t think he’d arrive now…” there’s a few beats of silence before Taehyung speaks
again. “I can ask him to wait until you fall asleep…”
“No, no, you should go.” Jungkook shakes his head. Taehyung frowns even more, this time in
worry.
“But will you be able to sleep? I mean— Are you sure?” his lips are curved down and Jungkook
forces himself to smile, he doesn’t want Taehyung worried. He should be able to go out as much as
he wants without worrying about Jungkook sleeping or not.
“Yes, I’m sure. Have fun, baby. Good night, I love you.” Jungkook waves with a little smile and
Taehyung feels torn. In one hand he wants to just text Minjae he must wait but in the other he feels
as though Jungkook is shooing him away. So he just nods.
“Night, hyungie. I love you too…” he waves back until the screen goes black. He feels extremely
upset all of a sudden.
Jungkook puts his phone down, turning off the small lamp on his bedside table before laying down
facing the wall, covers up to his shoulders. He can feel Jihoon’s eyes on him. “Are you jealous?”
his roommate asks.
“I’m not a jealous guy.” he says. “I trust Tae.”
“I understand what you’re thinking right now, your boyfriend going out with a new guy you don’t
know. I’ve been there, I understand how hard it is not to make scenarios in your head. Not being
able to know what happens on the outside is tough, man, you don’t have to act like you’re all fine,
you can tell me if you’re upset.”
“Just— sleep. Or shut up. I don’t want to talk about this.”
“Whatever you want.” Jihoon shrugs, going back to his book.
│►
“There you go.” Minjae smiles as he sits down with both their orders, both going for a coffee
cocktail, even if with barely any alcohol. Taehyung didn’t want to actually have to call a cab. “So,
tell me a bit about yourself, we should get to know each other better… don’t you think?”
“I believe we should, that’s how friendships start after all.” Taehyung smiles, taking a sip from his
drink. “I’m terrible at this, though, I never know what to say when I’m supposed to talk about
myself, please just ask some questions instead.” he giggles.
“Alright… how about… hobbies? Do you have any?” Taehyung looks away in thought.
“I spend my time reading, I love reading, informing myself of new therapy discoveries and
methods, too… I love spending time with my friends and of course, with my boyfriend. Cuddling
him should just be a hobby by itself.” Minjae hums, drinking from his glass. “What about you?”
“I enjoy reading too, about psychology as well!” Minjae smiles. “And I try to spend loads of time
with my kid when I can.” Taehyung’s eyes go wide in surprise. “Oh, yeah, I have a kid, he’s going
to be five very soon and his name is also Minjae, and I know that’s not very creative but his mother
wanted it like that.” he chuckles.
“I had no idea you had a kid, that’s… really cute.” Taehyung comments.
“Thank you.” they both smile. “I was married to his mother but we separated shortly after our son
was born.” Minjae shrugs.
“I’m sorry to hear that…” he says, voice lower.
“No, it’s fine, don’t worry, it’s been a long time.” Taehyung watches as he reaches for his phone.
“Look.” the device is soon turned towards him and Taehyung coos at the little kid as the
background picture. “Isn’t he just adorable?”
“He is, looks like a… smaller, cuter version of you.” the blonde comments with a chuckle. “I’d
love to meet him someday, I really love kids.”
“Another paternal figure for him could be nice.” Minjae says, nonchalantly. Taehyung takes a
second to even process it. When he opens his mouth to say something about it, Minjae beats him to
it. “I can show you some other pictures, you have to see the ones from last Halloween, he wanted to
be dressed as a little duck.”
“Yes… that would be lovely…” his eyebrows are furrowed, positively confused.
He feels awkward all of a sudden. Paternal figure? What in the world did Minjae mean by that?
“Look, look at the little duck tail he had.” Taehyung’s eyes focus again, going to the phone.
His kid is adorable, he has to give him that and he does enjoy to see each picture, but the comment
doesn’t leave his mind the remaining time they spend at the café. And he can’t help but to feel
extremely awkward by it.
He didn’t like that comment at all.

│►
Chapter End Notes
...let's discuss
◄│ 77 │►
Chapter Notes
“Did your coffee tell you a joke or are you just happy?” Jungkook looks up as he hears Nira’s
voice and he sees both his friends sitting down in front of him. “For the sake of your mentality, I’m
hoping you’re happy.”
“Shut up— I’m just happy.” he rolls his eyes with a smile. “Tae’s visiting today, as much as I love
seeing my friends and everyone, Tuesday is my favorite day of the week.” Jungkook lets out a little
sigh, taking a new sip from his coffee mug. “Plus, I didn’t see him last week because he had that
meeting so I’m really looking forward to this visit.”
“Don’t mind me asking but are you two ok?” Jihoon asks and Jungkook can see by Nira’s
expression that he’s speaking for the both. They’ve talked about it before asking him directly.
“What do you mean?” he settles for turning the question around, unsure of what they’re even
referring to with such question.
“We feel like your mood has been a little down this week.” Nira is the one replying and he gets the
confirmation for his suspicions. They really did talk about it before asking. “And we were
wondering if it had anything to do with your relationship.”
“Yeah.” Jihoon agrees. “Because you started behaving like this when Taehyung went out with that
new friend of his. Your mood went down. Really. It’s very noticeable, we even found it weird to
see you smiling today…” he explains and Jungkook sighs, running a hand through his hair.
“It’s—“ another sigh. “We’re fine, it just got a little awkward after that night… because yeah I’m
paranoid and he’s been hanging with that guy a lot and fucking hell, I’m not jealous, I’m not a
jealous person, he can have his friends. He can, I’m not controlling. And I’m not possessive,. I
mean, not in a bad way, of course I’ll claim him as mine if anyone asks, but in a good way, you
know?”
“But… you’re jealous…?” Nira asks, tentative.
“I don’t know if it’s jealousy or just my stupid insecure self-speaking louder, I just know the guy
bothers me for some reason. Because I don’t know him or his intentions or… I don’t know
anything.” he sighs. Again. “I’ve been paranoid with this for a week and believe me when I say, I
get weird if I’m worrying about something, I get all quiet and… I guess that’s why you think my
mood has been down, I’m not talking as much.”
“Is that why your calls have been weird?” Jihoon tilts his head. “You’re usually really enthusiastic
when you talk to him but you've been really quiet. Sometimes I even get the feeling that you don’t
want to talk to him.” Jungkook looks up, alarmed.
“That’s insane, of course I want to talk to him, I’m quiet because I’m just thinking and worrying
and being an idiot in my head.” he looks down at his coffee, trying not to sigh for the umpteenth
time.
“Does he know that? Because if it were me I’d just think you don’t want me to be on the call.”
Jihoon almost whispers, afraid of his words’ outcome.
“Tae knows I love him, he wouldn’t think I just don’t want to talk to him.” Jungkook says, sure of
his words. His eyes still on his coffee, figure looking smaller given his position. He just wants to
lay down and stop thinking about the outside life.
“Now we got him all sad.” Nira whispers but it’s not low enough for him not to hear. So he looks
up with a little wave of the hand, dismissive.
“It’s fine, I’ll just talk to him today. I just need constant reassurance.” he scratches the back of his
head.
“Will you tell him to stop hanging out with the guy?” Jihoon asks, Nira nodding soon after, both
curious and confused and Jungkook furrows his eyebrows.
“Of course not, I’m his boyfriend, not some kind of owner. I’ll just ask him to tell me a bit about
Minjae so that I feel like at least I know who’s he’s hanging with. I wouldn’t even dare to try to
control his friends, how different would I be from his past fiancé if I did?” he mumbles the ending.
“Huh?” they ask at the same time, unable to understand what he said. He just shrugs. He doesn’t
want to repeat it, doesn’t even want to think of such comparison being possible. He’s not like that
and he’ll never be like that.
“Just talk to him, you’ll be fine.”
“Yeah, just talk to him.” Nira agrees.
Jungkook nods. “I will.”
│►
Jungkook hums quietly to himself, bowing politely to a staff member he passes by on his way to
the visitors room. He can’t wait to see his boyfriend, to hug him and kiss him, perhaps hug some
more. He can’t wait to sit down and ask all the questions that haven’t left the back of his mind for
the past full week.
He smiles as he goes through the large door and his eyes scan the place, having to take a double
take on one of the tables. His heart falls. That’s his visit. And that’s not Taehyung. His steps
become slower, probably looking weird to any outside looker as he rather nervously walks over to
the table where his past worker is sitting at.
“Hey.” he greets, trying to smile again. “Haven’t seen you in a long while.” Jungkook comments,
accepting the short lived hug Yugyeom offers. They sit down soon after, Yugyeom smiling so
widely Jungkook feels bad for not feeling as ecstatic. It’s not that he’s not happy to see his friend,
it’s that he’s beyond confused.
“You look great, man, this place is doing you good.” Yugyeom comments, giving him a once over.
“You look healthier.” Jungkook smiles, a little weak smile, shrugging his shoulders.
“Thank you.” he says. “How have you been?” Jungkook asks, trying to focus on the answer instead
of questioning himself over and over if he got the day of the week wrong in his head.
“I’ve been fine, actually. Looking for another job so that I can leave the gas station, you made it
entertaining and it was the only good aspect of that shitty place so now it’s just… shitty. No good
point. I want to get out of there…” he sighs. “It’s really hard to find a job these days… how did you
get yours?”
“Oh— Yoongi is kind of friends with my boss and he arranged it for me after I got fired. But I was
trying the common method of distributing my resume everywhere.” Jungkook explains. “You
should do it, it’s the only way you’ll find something. And honestly, I wish you luck, literally no
one deserves to work at that fucked up place.”
“It’s not even the work itself, it’s the fucking boss. That man is so horrible. Just the fact that he
fired you got me so mad, you have no idea.”
“No, I’m thankful he did. Besides making Tae and I’s relationship take a big step forward, it also
allowed to get a way better job. Getting fired was one of the best things that happened in the past
year.” he chuckles. “Actually makes me happy that you’re getting out of there to find something
better.”
“Thanks, man.” Yugyeom’s smile opens further.
“So uh… why are you coming today? Not that I mind, it’s just— it’s Tae’s day and I’m uh, I’m
confused…? That’s all.” he ends off with an awkward chuckle, scratching the back of his neck. He
doesn’t want to come off rude or like he doesn’t appreciate seeing him, because he does, but it’s
not the same, and would never be the same as seeing his boyfriend.
“I found it weird that it was taking you so long to ask.” Yugyeom chuckles. “He texted the group
chat asking if someone could come today and I was the first one replying, I was on my phone, so
they allowed me. But… didn’t you know he wasn’t coming? I thought that’s why you weren’t
asking, thought you knew.”
“No, he didn’t— he didn’t tell me.” Jungkook looks down at the table. “Did he not give any reason
at all?” he asks, fiddling with his own fingers and Yugyeom tilts his head, worried.
“He mentioned work…?” he almost questions, unsure if that’s what he wants to hear. “What’s
wrong?”
“Nothing.” Jungkook lies, chewing on the inside of his cheek. Only does he look up when he gets
nothing but silence that tells him clearly enough that Yugyeom doesn’t believe it. “I’m just
paranoid about something that I don’t even know for sure is something but in my head is a big, big
something and it’s fucking bothering me. I wanted to talk about it today but— that’s clearly not
happening anymore.”
Yugyeom stays quiet as the other runs an anxious hand through his hair. “Tell me what that
something is and I’ll try to help, though we both know I’m not the best with advice and all that. I’ll
try my absolute best.” he assures. “What’s going on?”
“It’s… a new guy.”
“A new guy?” he furrows his brows, alarmed. “Taehyung’s seeing someone?”
“Not— Not seeing someone, at least not like that, they’re hanging out. A lot. They’ve been for the
past week.” Jungkook tries to explain, though he’s soon interrupted by a whisper yell.
“So you’re jealous?” Yugyeom asks.
“Why does everyone keep asking that— No. I’m not jealous, he can have his friends, just like I
have mine, I wouldn’t like it if my boyfriend told me I can’t have friends, so you’ll never see me
doing the same thing. I’m just— fucking paranoid about him. He made us cut our calls short about
three times. In two weeks. That’s… over forty percent cut short calls in a week.”
“Is it really forty percent or did you just— since when do you know math?”
“Since forever?” Jungkook raises a hand, confused. “But that’s not the point, fuck math.” he sighs.
“I’m stuck here. They’re outside. I don’t know anything about this new Minjae guy, makes me a
bit paranoid. When I’m bothered by something, I’m quiet, so our calls have been… terrible. We cut
it short, I barely talk, it just all feels like shit.”
“I mean… I saw Taehyung the other day, we even had coffee and we talked a lot about you. He’s
so proud of you, he really loves you, I don’t— I don’t think you should worry this much. Unless he
shows any real sign of being… I don’t know what the hell you’re imagining, if it’s Taehyung
being interested on someone else, then don’t panic unless he shows signs that he is. I know how
stupid you can get when you’re worried.”
“Thanks.” Jungkook says, sarcastic.
“Wasn’t a compliment.”
“I know—”
“Do you want me to quit my job and follow Taehyung twenty four hours a day to make sure
nothing’s happening until you get out of here?” that does make Jungkook laugh, his smile open and
genuine for the first time since he sat down.
“Shut up, just— shut up. Tell me how you’ve been.”
│►
Moon sits down, tongue darting out as she waits for her food to be put in her bowl. “There you go.”
Taehyung informs, Moon still waiting. “Go, eat.” she obeys, making him smile. She’s starting to
listen to him as well. He sits down on the floor with his ramen cup in hand, crossing his legs. He’s
not hungry.
He takes some noodles to his mouth, munching on them quietly as he stares at the dog. “Is this
what Jungkook used to do?” he asks. He remembers the many stories about eating cheap ramen on
the floor while talking to Moon. He can now understand why Jungkook did it. It feels a little
relieving.
“You’ll hate me when you hear this but— I couldn’t go today.” Moon looks up, just as though she
understood, and it makes him giggle, ruffling her head before she goes back to her food. “This
week has been… weird. I don’t think—” he sighs. “He didn’t seem like he wanted to talk to me…
even cutting the calls short, it just— I’m scared. I’m honestly scared.”
Taehyung sighs, taking some more noodles to his mouth. “I was scared of going and him being as
cold as he was during our calls. So I texted the group chat then to ask who could go instead of me.
I hope he’s not mad at me… or at least not too much. I don’t know if I’ll bring it up during our
calls, if he— if he doesn’t care about it, I don’t know what I’ll do.”
He checks his phone once Moon starts being able to see the bowl, food almost gone. There’s only
five minutes to the usual time Jungkook calls, so Taehyung quickly finishes his noodles, leaving
some at the bottom of the cup either way. Really not hungry.
Fork washed, cup thrown to the trash and Moon fed, he makes his way to the bedroom, Simba on
his arm and Moon following eagerly. He plops down in the middle of the bed, both pets soon
laying down next to him, where they’ll hopefully spend the night quietly.
Taehyung doesn’t stop biting his nails as he waits, phone in bed in front of him, unlocked, waiting.
He touches the screen every time it threatens to go dark and his knee starts bouncing up and down
once the time starts passing and nothing.
There’s no call.
There’s no call, no text, nothing for about half an hour.
He checks his phone about three times, making sure it’s not on airplane mode and preventing him
to get the call. His lips are pulled down in a as frown when he reaches for the object, trying not to
panic, running through his contacts.
Jimin’s picture is soon on his screen, Taehyung pulling at his socks to try to distract himself
somehow. “Hey, Taehyungie.” he hears a few beeps after. “What’s up?” Jimin asks.
“Hey, Minnie… do you want to go out in a bit?” it’s almost a whisper, a broken one at that. He
doesn’t want to be alone. “I’m feeling reall—”
“Oh, I’m so sorry… we’re picking the invitation forms right now… there’s even a lady here to
help, we can’t just— send her home…” Jimin explains and Taehyung tries to stop the immediate
tear but finds it impossible. She rolls down either way.
“Oh. Okay. That’s fine. Have fun…” he still smiles.
“Is everything ok?” Jimin asks, sensing the sadness in his best friend’s voice. Taehyung just wipes
the tear away, clearing his throat a little awkward. “Are you ok?”
“Yeah, everything’s fine. Good night.” he doesn’t really wait for an answer before he ends the call.
There’s no second call making sure he’s alright, neither is there a simple text. He finds himself
hugging a pillow against his chest, still looking down at the phone as he waits for Jungkook to just
say something.
A text, of whatever it may be. Taehyung would be happy with just an emoji, whichever Jungkook
preferred to send. But no, there’s nothing. Only the now black screen staring back at him. And he
doesn’t know what to do. Doesn’t know whether to cry or just wait to see where it goes.
Twenty minutes. Half an hour. Fifty minutes.
An hour and twenty minutes.
It becomes clear then that no call is going to reach him.
And he’s beyond the point of trying not to cry, Moon’s head on his lap. “It’s just as I feared.” he
says, his voice cracking. “I don’t think your daddy wants to talk to us…” Moon gets up with a
whine, sensing the sad mood around them.
Taehyung giggles through his tears, leaning away when she starts licking them away. “It’s not you,
though, please don’t think your dad likes you any less. It’s just— me. He doesn’t want to talk to
me.” he tries his hardest to smile.
He does. And he holds it for a second before it falls and there’s nothing but a loud, broken sob in
the room. Moon whines again. “Sorry, sorry, girl.” he immediately apologizes, trying to compose
himself. “I’m so sorry, I don’t want to cry in front of you.”
She licks the new tears away before sitting down looking at him, without the usual excited show of
the tongue. She’s just looking at him, tilting her head every time he chokes on a new cry. There’s a
few barks, trying to make him stop. New whines, that do nothing but make Simba leave the room,
bothered.
He picks up his phone in a split second when he gets a text, his heart doing a few flips.
Only for his hope to be crushed when he sees Minjae’s name on the screen asking if he’s free for
the night. There’s a little cocktail emoji so Taehyung guesses he’s suggesting they can go out for a
few drinks.
Takes him a look at himself in the mirror, how miserable he looks, to reply with a simple yes to the
text, getting up from bed as he wipes his tears away. He doesn’t want to cry. Jungkook hates to see
him crying and he knows Jungkook wouldn’t like to know he’s doing it.
So he just collects himself before heading to the bathroom to get ready for a casual night out.
│►
“It’s been a while since I last went out for some drinks.” Taehyung comments as they sit down,
each holding their drinks. “Thank you for texting.”
“No, thank for coming.” Minjae smiles, taking a sip. He makes a face, it’s a strong drink. “But
why a while? Doesn’t your boyfriend take you out?” he asks with a rather curious expression but
there’s something else behind is eyes.
“He does… not for drinks, though. He can’t— drink. And I wouldn’t take him out for drinks either
and then make him watch. Just doesn’t sit right with me.” Taehyung explains, not fully aware of
how much he has said with those simple words.
“Why can’t he drink?” it’s paired with a chuckle. “Does he act poorly when alcoholized?”
Taehyung’s fists almost close at such question.
“Jungkook’s an absolute angel, he just— he uh…” Taehyung sighs. “He’s recovering from a
problem so he has to stay away from drinks, alright?” he doesn’t want Minjae, or anyone really, to
even dare commenting on Jungkook’s addiction, so he wonders if saying that was a bad choice. He
hopes not.
“But if going out for drinks is something you enjoy, it’s a pity he can’t do that. Luckily, I can, so
I’ll make sure to ask you out for a few drinks since your boyfriend is… unable.” the smug smile he
holds as he takes a new sip makes Taehyung furrow his eyebrows.
“Thank you, I guess…?” he half questions. “We’re friends, after all. But— don’t think I enjoy
spending time any less just because I can’t drink, that’s the farthest from the truth. I’m really,
really happy in my relationship, Minjae. I don’t like the comments you make sometimes, especially
when they’re about him. It’s not really your place to comment on someone you don’t even know.”
Taehyung says, drinking his full glass in once after he’s done.
Minjae clears his throat. “Of course.” he nods “Excuse me to the bathroom for a second.”
Taehyung just waves him off, grabbing his phone. He’s not having the good time he thought he
would. Maybe it’s just the fact that he still hasn’t stopped thinking why didn’t Jungkook call. So he
unlocks his phone.
His finger hovers over his boyfriend’s contact and he settles for a text. He quickly types a question,
wondering if Jungkook is still awake and then he waits. A reply does come, and he’s rather
shocked, even if there’s only two question marks. That’s something at least.
‘I’m out for a drink’, he adds both a sad emoji and two glasses cheering, before he continues
typing. ‘Just checking if you were already asleep…’ and then he sends it, leg bouncing up and
down anxiously.
The answer comes faster this time. Jungkook simply asks where he is and if he’s ok, and even if it
warms Taehyung’s heart, the briefness of his reply makes him frown. Nothing else, just those
questions.
Taehyung bites down his bottom lip before sending something back. ‘At a club with Minjae, don’t
worry…’ he ponders on what he wants to say next, going over it at least two times in his mind
before actually passing it onto his phone. ‘I’m sad that we didn’t talk today, do you want me to call
for you to sleep?’ with two hearts and a smiling emoji. He loves his emojis, even if Jungkook often
mocks him for using them.
He feels way too hot all of a sudden, anxious. He can barely even hear the noise around him. ‘Are
you drunk? Is he still there?’ is all that pops into his screen and he just about wants to cry right then
and there. Completely and obviously dodging his request.
It hurts, it really does. He pulls himself together to be able to text back. ‘Not drunk, just had one
drink. He just went to the bathroom…’ he sends. But it doesn’t feel enough. So he types a second
text. ‘Can I call you?’ Taehyung sends without even thinking, putting the phone down in regret.
Jungkook clearly doesn’t want him to, he’s just making a fool of himself by asking more than once
when he got ignored in the first try. He picks the phone immediately when it pings anyways. ‘Not
tonight, Jihoon just fell asleep.’ it’s the only thing that comes.
Though it pings again. ‘Aren’t you with Minjae?’ Taehyung sniffs. Taehyung doesn’t know how to
read that, if with a snappy tone or just a simple question. He leans into the first option given he just
said he was with Minjae. Jungkook couldn’t have just forgotten.
He forces himself to type with visual memory as tears start making it impossible for him to see the
keyboard. ‘I am, he went to the bathroom’ he still repeats, in case Jungkook simply hadn’t seen it.
But something in him tells him he did.
When the next text comes, he’s afraid to even open it. Takes him a few seconds to do so. ‘K cool, I
guess. Stay safe, get home safely. Night x’ and he realizes he should’ve probably not have open it
while in public.
Jungkook never texts like that. Never.
He puts his phone back in his pocket, covering his face to let out a small, frustrated sob before
inhaling slowly and sniffing his tears away. He can’t cry at a club, there’s nothing more pathetic,
he thinks.
But he can’t help it once he thinks of the conversation they just had. Jungkook really just doesn’t
want to talk to him. And Taehyung has no idea why.
And it breaks him.
│►
Jungkook hits the send button, turning his phone off right away before putting it on his nightstand.
He’s facing up, eyes on the dark ceiling, only Jihoon’s light illuminating the room. His roommate
turns to him when he realizes he just put his phone down.
“Aren’t you calling Tae tonight?” he asks, confused.
“I was waiting for him to call me.” Jungkook whispers, voice sounding monotone, numb eyes not
moving from the ceiling. Jihoon closes his book, holding himself sideways on his elbow to face his
roommate.
“But you usually call him, why didn’t you tonight? Why did you wait?” he shakes his head slowly
for a few seconds, chewing on the inside of his cheek before he even dares to answer to Jihoon’s
question.
“He didn’t visit today. My friend said Tae had work so if it was that— important that he couldn’t
come, I thought… I shouldn’t bother him. I was waiting for him to call when free but… he’s not—
he’s not busy, he’s gone out for drinks with a dude. So.” Jungkook says, voice still as monotone as
before.
“He— He what?” Jihoon asks.
“I… I don’t know how to feel about this.” Jungkook whispers, still facing the ceiling.
“I really don’t want to feel negative or lead you into changing your thoughts about this but… I’d be
mad. Really.” he tries giving his input, careful not to be too harsh. He doesn’t want to upset him
further.
“I’m mad. I think. A little. I don’t want to be mad, he can do whatever he wants to, I don’t— I
don’t want to control his friends or anything but… it hurts. I guess.” Jungkook bites down his
bottom lip, desperately trying to keep the grip on himself. If he starts thinking the worst then he
knows he will just cry and not be able to stop. Jihoon would hate him.
“It’s ok to be hurt. Or mad. Even jealous.”
“I don’t want to think there’s something to be jealous of.” he whispers, looking briefly at his
roommate but the movement of his eyes make them look shinier to the light and Jihoon doesn’t fail
to notice that.
“Why are you tearing up?” it’s a question laid out softly, but pointing it out just makes it worse, so
soon enough his chest feels way too tight.
“I’m just paranoid. Just this going out for drinks thing is something I will never be able to do with
him and I know he enjoys doing this, what if—” he stops. “Never mind.” a sigh, long and dragged
out.
“No, no, you can tell.” Jihoon reassures but Jungkook simply turns around to face the wall after
whispering a quiet dismissal for him to go to sleep. Jihoon sighs. “Alright, sleep well. If I hear you
crying, I’m going to scream.” he tries to joke, a tentative smile on his face, but Jungkook doesn’t
chuckle as he expected him to.
“You won’t.” Jungkook assures.
But it’s a lie and it doesn’t take a full minute for the sniffs to get louder, for the sobs he’s trying to
quiet down are being heard and he hates it, he hates that he can’t be quiet or just simply stop, but
it’s too much.
Why can’t he just man up to be honest and tell Taehyung how he feels?
Why didn’t Taehyung visit or call? Why didn't he even mention it when he texted?
Why is he out for drinks instead of calling?
Jungkook tries to keep all of those thoughts away, and he’s a little startled once the bed dips and
there’s an arm around him alongside a hand on his hair. Jihoon lays on top of the covers cuddling
him — even if with some reasonable space between them — and the hand on his hair does make
his breathing quiet significantly.
“Just sleep, you’re alright.” he hears.
Something about it being Jihoon, who vows to never show any type of care for anyone directly,
makes him want to cry even more. He’s that pitiful that even Jihoon will get up to cuddle him and
play with his hair. Well, pat his hair.
“You can go to bed…” Jungkook rasps out.
“No, you’re my friend, I’ll stay here at least until you quiet down a little.” Jungkook sniffs. “I
don’t like seeing you or Nira upset, it really makes me upset too. Don’t think too much, we’ll
worry about it tomorrow, just sleep, okay?”
“Mhm.” he nods, closing his eyes. His breathing is still raged, his tears haven’t completely ceased,
but it does make it better and he’s able to relax, if just a little bit. He’ll worry about Taehyung
tomorrow, he’ll worry about Minjae tomorrow.
He’ll worry about everything tomorrow.
He tries to focus on simply being able to sleep during the night without crying.
│►
Chapter End Notes
Double update tonight, move on to the next one hehhehhe

◄│ 78 │►
Chapter Notes
Double update tonight so that the angst wave goes faster

Hehe
Jungkook wakes up to something dropped on his head and it takes him a second to understand it’s
Jihoon’s arm. He must’ve fallen asleep while trying to calm him down, Jungkook concludes.
He takes the arm away carefully enough not to disturb his roommate before he reaches for his
phone on the bedside table. He turns it on. Waits for any text to come and they do, but none from
who he was waiting for. So he furrows his eyebrows, opening their chat.
Taehyung read the text, just never replied and Jungkook doesn’t know how to feel about it. He
wanted at least a text saying he had gotten home safely, but there’s no such text, and he can’t help
but to worry.
So he presses call, holding himself on his forearm, still facing the wall, Jihoon almost against his
back given the beds aren’t that spacious. He listens to the beeping sounds, there’s at least three
before Taehyung picks up his call. “Hey, babe, I wasn’t exp—”
“Did you get home safely?” Jungkook asks almost whispering. There’s still a minute or so for their
alarms to go off and he most certainly doesn’t want to hear Jihoon complain about the minute
longer he could’ve slept if it wasn’t for him.
“I did.” he notices how Taehyung has deflated, not nearly as bright as some seconds prior. “Minjae
drove me back to our place.” it’s a whisper, too.
“Oh.” Jungkook chews on his lip. “Okay.”
“Are you… are you mad at me?” Taehyung gathers enough courage to ask but Jungkook doesn’t
know if he wants to be honest about it. What if Taehyung just confirms everything he’s thinking?
What if Taehyung admits to not wanting to see or talk to him? What will he do then? He doesn’t
even want to imagine that.
“Is there anything for me to be mad about?” he turns the question around instead, his other hand
pulling at the ends of the sheets, nervous.
“Not— Not that I know of.” Jungkook wants to chuckle. A painful one at that. Taehyung didn’t
visit and there’s nothing for him to be mad about? “Why didn’t you call last night?” Taehyung
whispers.
“Why didn’t you call last night?” he sounds rather defensive and he knows he does, but he can’t
help it when his heart feels ready to just crumble.
“You usually call, I— I didn’t know if you even had your phone or— I don’t, I just, I was waiting
for your call.” he can’t find enough courage in himself to actually admit he simply feels like
Jungkook doesn’t want his calls anymore. If Jungkook was to confirm, he doesn’t know what he’d
do. He doesn’t even want to imagine that.
“You could’ve also visited but I guess we’re just lacking effort at this point.” Jungkook throws
back. And it’s bitter. It’s not as quiet. It stings, he doesn’t like it.
“Babe—”
“No, it’s fine. I just wanted to make sure you’re safe. I’m not mad. They’re asking for my phone, I
have to go.” he lies, reaching back over Jihoon to turn off the alarm when it goes off before facing
the wall again.
“Okay.” Taehyung whispers. “I love you.” Jungkook ends the call, fighting the urge to just throw
the phone across the room as he falls back with his head on the pillow. His chest feels tight. Really
tight.
“You’re not even out of bed yet.” Jihoon mumbles, rubbing his eyes. “And you’re already
fighting.” Jungkook remains silent, eyes fixated on the wall in front of him. “Did he call?”
“No, I did. I had to make sure he had gotten home safely.” he whispers. “The guy drove him so
he’s safe, I would just have appreciated a text so that I could see when I woke up.” Jungkook sighs.
“Was the guy still there?” silence. “Never m—”
Jungkook turns around to face him. “What do you mean?” Jihoon scratches the back of his head.
“What do you mean was the guy there?”
“You know… when you drive someone and you’re tipsy you just crash on the couch and all…” he
explains, trying not to make it sound like a big deal. “But let’s just believe he wasn’t, or Taehyung
would’ve told you.”
“I’m… I’m going to have a breakdown.” Jungkook whispers, eyes turning glassy. Jihoon slaps him
on the forehead with a clear indication for him not to cry. “Thanks for that.” he mumbles. “But
also, thank you for last night, I... really do appreciate it, man.”
“Oh it’s uh, it’s fine. It’s— nothing.” Jihoon looks everywhere but him, clearly feeling awkward all
of a sudden. “I just wanted you to feel better, that’s all.”
“And I thank you for it.” he opens his mouth to speak again but they’re interrupted by a singing
voice approaching. “Is that Nira…?”
“The alarm just went off why is she already here with her morning positivity?” Jihoon complains
further.
“Wake up, you bi— why are you on the same bed?” she stops by the door. “And before you ask, I
woke up early and just took a shower and waited for the alarm to come get you both for breakfast,
now why are you two on the same bed?”
“Jungkook was crying.” Jihoon informs.
“Oh no…!” she kicks her slippers off, climbing over both of them in Jungkook’s bed to lay
between him and the wall. She hugs him from the side and Jihoon chuckles before doing the same.
Jungkook just stares at the ceiling, eyes welling up again.
He needed those hugs. He needed Taehyung’s hug the most, but those two, coming from two
people who have become so close to him, make his body start to slowly shake with new tears. The
fight wasn’t a fight, but he was bitter and he knows it just made things worse.
It pains him. “He also just fought with his boyfriend like… a minute or so ago, so be aware.”
Jihoon informs her before he realizes Jungkook is actually crying again. “No, no, no tears, c’mon,
no tears.” the hand is back to his hair.
Nira looks up immediately as Jihoon says that. “Oh my baby, please don’t cry, you have a terrible
crying face.” she wipes his tears away, trying to joke to at least make him laugh, if possible. He
doesn’t look that bad crying, but that doesn’t come to the point.
“I know.” Jungkook cries further, though they all share a quick laugh. “I’m sorry for crying. Again.
I’m just not feeling all that great.”
“Give me your phone, I’ll give Taehyung a piece of my mind.” she asks, both cuddling him even
closer when he lets out a small quiet sob. “I’ll tell him—”
“You won’t tell him anything, no one’s allowed to be rude to him under my watch.” Jungkook
sniffs, closing his eyes. “I just wish I could fucking talk to him and just come clean about
everything.”
“Then why don’t you?” they both ask.
“Because I’m scared.” Jungkook admits. “I’m really fucking scared of losing him.”
│►
Taehyung anxiously taps his desk with his pen as he listens to the dialing sound of a call, waiting
for his best friend to pick up. “Hey, Taehyungie!” he soon hears Jimin’s voice on the other side,
excited.
“Hey, Minnie… I was calling to know if you’d like to grab lunch today?” he asks, chewing down
his bottom lip. The little sound Jimin makes has all his hope crushing. He tries not to sigh.
“I’m literally arriving to the cake testing right now, Tae.” Jimin says with a pout clear in his voice.
“Maybe tomorrow? I’m really sorry.” Taehyung shakes his head to himself, squeezing his eyes
shut.
“No, no, don’t apologize, it’s fine. Have a good day, Minnie. Hope you taste many delicious
cakes.” he wishes with a little pained smile. Finds himself losing track of time from how long he
dwells on what to do next before heading towards Namjoon’s office and leaving with him for
work. He’s just upset, he doesn’t even feel like eating anymore, but he knows he has to.
Ordering feels almost like a chore, he doesn’t want anything, settling for a chicken salad and some
water for a drink. Namjoon looks up at him with curious eyes. “What’s wrong? I have a feeling
you’re very upset.”
“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be a bad company.” Taehyung sighs, running a hand through his hair.
“We should enjoy our lunch peacefully, please don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.” he smiles. Tries
to, at least.
“Tae, besides being coworkers we’re also friends, and I’m sorry that I haven’t been available lately
to hang out but… Jiah and I are getting pretty serious so I’m just uh, admittedly spending my entire
time with her.” he scratches the back of his neck. “I should be helping more through this tough
time.”
“No, seriously, it’s absolutely fine and I’m so happy for you and your new relationship.” Taehyung
waves a hand. “Don’t worry about me. I’m fine. Promise.”
Namjoon just stares back at him. “But you’re not. Tell me what’s wrong, I want to help and listen.”
he instructs. “Let me know what’s happening.”
“I think— I think Jungkook may not want me anymore.”
The silence that follows is thick, long. Namjoon tries for rationalize it before he speaks but he
can’t, so he simply allows himself to be confused and surprised. “What?” he lets out. “Why would
you ever think that?”
“During our calls… he’s— he’s so quiet and I get the feeling that he doesn’t want me to talk so I
just— I don’t know, I hate the feeling, because I’m too weak and scared to actually ask him about
it so I just… I try keeping the conversation going but— it doesn’t work all that well and we just cut
it short lately and I haven’t talked him to sleep for the past days and— and—” he stops to breathe,
rubbing his eyes.
Namjoon just lets him continue. “I’m scared to visit him because I’m almost sure he’s going to
break up with me. He’s the light of my life right now, I just— I’m scared and I hate this so much, I
don’t know what to do.” he finishes.
“I… I need a moment to process all of this.” his friend says with all his honesty, looking just as
overwhelmed as he feels.
“I’m sorry for just throwing this at you, I’m just so fed up and today’s not going well for me. I miss
him so much and I miss my friends… I’ve been hanging out with Minjae because I feel so damn
lonely but his comments sometimes make me uncomfortable. I’m so tired of everything and I just
— I miss Jungkook. I miss my Jungkook, not the one that has been there for the past few days.” he
looks up at the lights on the ceiling to keep his tears away.
“He’s… far away right now, and it’s probably really tough on him to be there without knowing
how things are here on the outside so I strongly believe you should talk to him about this before it
gets ten times worse.” Namjoon tries. “You should bring this up.”
“No. I can’t. He’s— He’s going to break up with me if I do it. He sounds so fed up when we talk,
he just says he’s tired and I coach him to bed but then he ends the call instead of just allowing me
to talk him to sleep as we used to do.” he looks down. “This is bringing old things back and I don’t
know what to do.”
“Bringing what back?” his friend asks, a little alarmed.
“I felt— I feel as ignored during our calls as I used to with Hyungsik and it’s… messing with my
head because I know Hyungsik didn’t want me so does Jungkook not want me either? Is that
what’s happening? They’re nothing alike, but maybe that’s it, he just doesn’t want me anymore.
Ultimately I’d understand but— why can’t he just tell me?” he asks, exasperated, frowning.
“Tae, you were doing amazing at keeping your trauma behind your back, and I know Jungkook had
a big role in you moving on from Hyungsik and he’s not here right now to help you with it again…
and he’s, well, the reason as to why you’re even feeling like this right now, but it only means he’s
the one you should talk things out with if you want to make it clear and fix it.” Namjoon explains,
trying not to sound too overbearing. “Hyungsik is a bad man and he was a terrible, terrible partner,
but you know Jungkook isn’t either of those, you can talk to him.”
“I know, I know I can talk to him, but it doesn’t make me freak out less. He called me this morning
to ask if I had gotten home safely and then he just… cut the call right away, didn’t even say he
loves me back and it— it hurts, Joon. I don’t want to lose him.” Taehyung’s fast to wipe the tear
running down his cheek.
“This is a really tricky situation given you can’t just corner him and address everything, you’re in a
position where one of you can just press the button to end the call and that’s it. I’d say you should
just wait for your next visit to bring it up then and have that conversation face to face. Make sure
he listens, make sure to listen too, make sure nothing is left to be said.” Namjoon instructs.
“Explain it all to him, how you feel and why you feel like this.”
“You’re… right.” Taehyung sighs. “I love him, I want to at least know why he’s acting this way…
I think I deserve an explanation.” he pulls at his rings, chewing on the inside of his cheek. “And he
deserves one too as to why I didn’t visit… I just— I felt really suffocated when I saw it was time to
go, I was so scared, Joon. And I’m afraid he may just think I didn’t want to go, which is so far from
the truth.”
“You really have to just sit down and talk. Knowing both of you and how self-deprecating you both
can get, it worries me that this problem will be aggravated. I don’t think you’re right when thinking
he doesn’t want you anymore, but at the same time, I don’t know his side, so I don’t want to lie to
you.”
“I know… thank you.” Taehyung sniffs. “He probably just wants to break up. He’s been there and
he probably realized he prefers to be by himself rather than being with me.” Namjoon just sighs,
wishing he could help some more.
But he can’t.
For all he knows, Taehyung may be right.
│►
Taehyung pushes the door to the coffee shop open, smiling as his eyes meet Eunjae’s. She gives
him a small welcoming wave before making her way behind the register to take his order. “Hey,
Taehyungie, how have you been?”
“I’ve been fine.” he lies. “What about you? Haven't seen you in a while.” Taehyung asks, relying
on the fact that there's no one else in line to be able to catch up a little bit. “How’s life going?”
“Oh, it’s going well, shitty with my parents but it’s getting better gradually. Also missing Jungkook
a lot, working without him isn’t the same anymore. Can’t wait to see his ugly face soon.” she
giggles, though it stops as she can see Taehyung’s mood going down, smile no longer on his lips.
She doesn’t know if she should ask. She settles for not doing so.
“Yeah.” he clears his throat. “Can you get me two take out coffees, please? One of them black with
vanilla syrup.” Taehyung just settles for ordering instead of keeping the conversation going for any
longer.
“You’re with someone?” Eunjae asks with curious eyes.
“Not really, I’m taking the coffee to a friend who asked— Minjae. He’s uh, been helping to make
the loneliness feel lighter at times.” she squints, looking at him with clear suspicious eyes. “Don’t
ask questions, please, just get me my coffees if you don’t mind.”
“Of course. How’s Jungkook, though? Haven’t seen him in a minute.”

“Neither have I.” he mumbles to himself as he looks down at his wallet, not even noticing her eyes
going wider, internally connecting what she thinks the dots are. “I’m in a hurry, Jae, sorry, I wish
we could talk some more.” Taehyung half smiles. He doesn’t want to continue talking about
Jungkook or he's going to end up crying. Though Eunjae just believes he’s avoiding it.
She prepares his order with the same distant expression she holds as Taehyung pays and just gives
him a weak wave as a goodbye. Taehyung leaves with his coffee cups and tears in his eyes. It’s
getting harder to even think about it.
He checks his texts once he gets to his car, the ones to his best friends still waiting to be open and
he sighs to himself, just starting the car after making sure the cups are safe. Minjae is waiting for
him in front of the clinic so he just focuses on driving there.
It’s a silent drive, he doesn’t even turn the radio on, he just drives in silence, his fingers anxiously
squeezing the steering wheel every so often. He can’t stop thinking about the conversation with
Namjoon. He knows he has to talk to Jungkook about what’s clearly happening between them but
he doesn’t want the most probable outcome.
Breaking up with Jungkook would be the absolute worst thing he can think of and knowing there’s
a chance of that being the result of such conversation makes him certain of not wanting to bring it
up. He just can’t lose him while he’s away.
They wouldn’t even be able to properly talk about it given Jungkook just seems to refuse to speak
during their calls. Taehyung can’t let that happen.
Minjae waves as soon as Taehyung’s car pulls into the parking lot, his spot empty as always, his
name on the floor. He parks, letting out a long sigh before he exists his automobile with the cups
and his back. His friend takes his cup right away. “Thanks for grabbing one for me, I’ll send you
the money in a bit.”
“It’s nothing.” Taehyung half smiles, pressing the little button to lock the doors.
“Why do you look so down?” Minjae asks, taking a step closer to him. “What’s going on?”
“The coffee shop I went to is where Jungkook works and… his coworker asked about him and it
just— it’s nothing, never mind.” he forces his smile to open more, starting to walk towards the
clinic. Minjae chuckles.
“Let me process this… you have a whole degree and you’re here getting this sad for a barista?”
Taehyung’s feet stop right away. He turns around, eyebrows furrowed in anger. “He only upsets
you, you’ve been so upset lately and only get worse at the mention of his name and I don’t think
he’s worth the sadness at all.” Minjae waits for some kind of response but Taehyung’s simply
looking at him, mouth parted in shock. “It’s just my opinion.” he adds.
And Taehyung snaps out of it. “It’s not even your place to have an opinion on anything, I’m really
starting to get tired of you thinking you can have an opinion on him, he’s the best guy. Ever. No
one compares, you don’t even come close. So shut the hell up about him having a degree or not, he
may not have one yet but he’s way smarter than the both of us combined.” he points. “Don’t you
ever, ever, talk about my boyfriend like this again or I’ll seriously stop even looking into your
direction.”
“I’m just worried, Tae, he’s not good f—”
“Don’t you dare finish that sentence. I’ve been with people who aren’t good for me, I know the
difference. And I know how to look out for myself. Seriously, Minjae, back off, my relationship
has nothing to do with you. I appreciate that you’ve been staying by my side keeping me company
and being a good friend but you have to stop this. I’m not that desperate for company that I’ll just
put up with your comments about a man you don’t know.”
Minjae takes a step back. “I didn’t know it bothered you so much, I was just giving you my opinion
to perhaps help you somehow.”
“Well, don’t. It’s not your place.” Taehyung sighs. “I have a session in ten minutes, I have to go.”
he turns around without even giving him a second to speak, heading to his office. He closes the
door rather quickly, back resting against it.
He’s so stressed. Everything is turning upside down. His boyfriend may not want to be his
boyfriend anymore, his friends are too busy to give him the time of the day and the only company
he was able to get, may have just been ruined.
He wants to talk to someone but he’s reaching a point where he believes he’s just being a bother.
The only one who would willingly listen to whatever, is Jungkook and he can’t possibly nag him
with everything that is going on. Jungkook’s certainly stressed enough on his own with being
locked at the clinic.
Not to mention how Jungkook’s also the first now not wanting to listen. It’s a mess. Everything has
just become a huge mess.
Taehyung’s tired. Tired and lonely.
│►
When Thursday comes, Jungkook isn’t sure of who to expect. He never knows who’s visiting, it’s
always a surprise, one he actually enjoys. He surely doesn’t enjoy the fact that Tuesdays have
become a day where he doesn’t know who’s visiting either. That’s not how things were supposed
to be.
He smiles when he sees Taehyung’s best friends. He hasn’t seen them in a long time and they may
not be that close but he does like them both a lot, so it’s with a happy expression that he embraces
both with a quick hug, Hoseok rubbing his back for a second.
Then he sits down in front of them. “You look different, hyung.” Jimin comments. “You look a bit
tired, actually, but you also look a lot healthier. You look great.” Jungkook gives him a little smile,
a bit awkward or just simply shy, Jimin isn’t able to identify.
“Thank you… you two look great as well. How have things been? I know you’ve been preparing
things for the wedding and all.” he asks. It’s not that he’s not interested, he really is, but he’s not in
the mood for anything. He doesn’t think he can completely focus.
“It’s been crazy, we’ve been so busy with it, you have no idea.” Hoseok chuckles. “So many things
to pick, so many little details, so much for us to come up with, so much to make sure is right and
decided… it’s a headache but it’s going to be amazing. We can’t wait.”
“Makes me so happy for you, I’m sure it will be an amazing ceremony.” he smiles. “How— How’s
uh life apart from that?” they share a look, giggling as they understand what he’s asking. They can
see the look behind Jungkook’s eyes, how he’s doesn’t mean that question exactly. That’s not what
he wants to know.
“Taehyung’s fine, he always tells me he’s doing good so I believe him.” Jimin informs. “Besides,
he’s made a new friend and all, they hang out a lot lately, he’s keeping himself entertained.” he
goes on, not noticing Jungkook’s figure shrinking.
“Yeah, don’t worry about him. Minjae’s a good friend.”
“Oh I’m not— I’m not worried.” Jungkook lies. “I just hope he’s ok. And uh, entertained. I’d hate
it if he were upset or anything…” he tries, wanting some sort of reassurance that there’s really
nothing to worry about. Or some indication that Taehyung’s hurting just as much as him, but that
doesn’t come.
“I’m sure Tae’s all good, he would tell me if anything was off.” Jimin shrugs.
“So how have you been? How’s rehab? What things can you do here?” Hoseok asks, changing the
subject. Jungkook sighs quietly. He won’t be able to get the answers that he wants, that he needs,
unless he asks Taehyung directly.
And that really does sounds absolutely insane when they’re on such terms.
Nothing guarantees that Taehyung won’t break up with him if he brings up and asks why did he
miss visitation, why does he cut the calls short, why did he start acting differently. Losing
Taehyung while being locked there sounds like the biggest nightmare.
He’d rather keep it all to himself. Even if it feels so hard he’s sure he’ll burst at some point.
│►
Jihoon halts in his steps once he enters their room, Jungkook sitting on the very corner of the bed
with Taehyung’s picture in his hand, forehead against the wall. He can’t really tell if the younger is
crying or not but the room is absolutely silent. “Are you ok?” he asks, concerned.
Jungkook sniffs as he looks up, forcing a smile. “Yes, yes, I’m ok.” he lies, reaching for his phone
before he goes through his contact list. Jihoon just sits in his own bed, eyes fixated on his
roommate. Jungkook waits with the phone to his ear.
“Hyung.” Taehyung says as he picks up. He sounds surprised and Jungkook doesn’t know what to
think of it. Was Taehyung not looking forward to the call? Should he haven’t even called, then?
“Hey.” the blonde whispers, a little hesitant.
Jungkook chews on the inside of his cheek. “How are you?” he asks, voice just as nervous.
“I’m okay.” Taehyung lies. “I’d… I’d be better if you were here.” Taehyung whispers again and
Jungkook closes his eyes, trying to keep himself from sighing. He doesn’t know what to think.
What to believe.
He opens his mouth to speak, though he hears another male voice in the back calling after Moon.
He straightens up. “It seems like you have everything you need.” he lets out without even giving it
a second thought. The bitterness of his words weighs heavy in the air and there’s a few beats of
silence.
“I don’t— get it.” Taehyung sounds confused and for some reason it only angers him further. Is it
that hard to understand why he’s upset?
“Nothing, never mind.” Jungkook shakes his head. “I have to go.” Jihoon’s eyes are back on him
before he glances at the clock. It’s been a minute, if that much.
“Babe, you just called—” he cuts his boyfriend halfway.
“Yeah, but they’re calling me. Enjoy your night. We’ll talk some other time.” Taehyung sighs. It’s
a tired sigh. Tired of him, maybe, Jungkook isn’t sure.
“Alright.” the blonde whispers. “I love you.” he looks down at the phone once the line beeps
without Jungkook saying it back. He sighs again, turning towards Namjoon who’s still trying to get
Moon to lay on his lap. “I think he just hates me now.”
Jungkook turns his phone off as soon as the call is over, putting it on his nightstand rather
aggressively. Jihoon just stares at him, confused, curious. Worried. His roommate sighs, grabbing
Taehyung’s picture before he gets up to pull his bag from under the bed.
Jihoon quietly watches him put the picture inside, close the zipper and push it back. “What— What
did I just witness?” he asks, shocked and confused eyes trailing after Jungkook back to the bed.
“Just— leave me alone.” Jungkook mumbles as he lays down, pulling the covers over his body.
He’s so done with everything, he just wants to fall asleep and stop thinking about everything for a
few hours. He doesn’t even feel the will to cry anymore. He just wants to sleep, just wants to
ignore reality.
“This is not the Jungkook I remember.” Jihoon starts. “You told us, Nira and I, so many times how
communication is key, how you and Taehyung work so well because you talk everything out, so
tell me, why the hell are you— not talking about the elephant in the room? Why are you ignoring
it?”
“If I bring it up and he breaks up with me while I’m hopelessly here, I don’t know what I’ll do
with myself. I don’t know how to pull through this last month. I don’t know how my mind will
deal with that. That’s why.” Jungkook explains, facing the wall.
“But—”
“Just let me sleep. Please. I don’t want to talk.”
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss...
◄│ 79 │►
Chapter Notes
Jungkook shifts in bed for the umpteenth time, gripping his pillow in an attempt to go back to sleep
after hours of rolling around. His headache just refuses to subside and he can’t fall asleep when he
feels the constant pounding at the front of his head.
He sighs, finally giving up as he gets up from bed, rubbing his eyes. The sudden movement seems
to do nothing but make it worse. Jungkook gathers his clothes as quietly as possible, heading for
the bathroom. A hot shower could help, but if not, then he’ll just ask for a pill at the nurses’ office.
His heart feels heavy, his mind is still all over the place, and even standing under the hot water
cascading onto his back seems not to do anything. He rubs his eyes. He knows he’s being paranoid,
he knows everything that is happening is also his fault even if not completely. He can’t help it.
Even if he feels worse. He just can’t help it.
He quickly washes his hair, eyes closed tight, rubbing his face for a few seconds longer than
needed. A sigh. Jungkook turns the water off after being done, not even feeling like standing under
it as he’d usually enjoy.
Jihoon’s still fast asleep when he returns to their shared bedroom, one foot sticking from under the
covers, mouth open and Jungkook swears he’s drooling a little into the pillow. It should make him
chuckle, that has happened before, but he simply turns around to leave the room with his phone in
hand to give it to some staff member.
He sees one almost right away. “Good morning, Jungkook.” the man smiles. “You’re up early
today.” Jungkook shrugs, handing him his phone.
“Yeah… I wanted to see the sunrise.” he lies. He just couldn’t sleep.
“The sun has risen already… you’re late by an hour.” the staff member gives him a little pat in his
shoulder, smile fading a little. “Are you alright?” he asks, noticing his weird mood.
“Yes, I’m fine. I’ll just catch some morning sun.” Jungkook smiles, half closed. He continues
walking then, every single hall completely empty given the alarms haven’t gone off yet. There's
still an hour or so until that happens.
The outside doors are luckily already open so he walks outside, sitting on the grass once he finds
himself far enough from the facility. Well, as far as possible. The sun is still weak, it’s cold, so he
zips his jacket, hands inside his pockets to keep them warm.
He looks around for a long second, sniffing before he looks down. That’s the same spot he sat at
with Taehyung over a month prior, in his boyfriend’s arms, getting a massage, kisses, having his
hair played with. Now he’s there alone and with an aching heart.
His hand leaves his pocket to pull his moon necklace out of his shirt, pulling it with enough
strength for it to come off. It’s broken, he knows. He remembers the smile on his boyfriend’s face
when he handed him his gift, how happy he was when Jungkook ended up loving it. And of course
he did. He’d always enjoy whatever given by Taehyung. Doesn’t matter what.
Christmas. He remembers it so well. He had such a good time he doesn’t even hate the festivities
anymore. It gave him a family, gave him so much comfort. Gave him his boyfriend. He’s so
thankful for that Christmas break. And he really loved the necklace.
But now it makes him even sadder.
It’s impulsive, but before he knows it, he’s pulling his arm back, throwing the necklace somewhere
to the bushes in front of him.
He’s quiet, silent, his hand back to his pocket, looking at the direction he threw the Christmas gift
to. And his heart drops when he realizes what he just did.
That’s Taehyung’s gift, the gift that symbolizes so much, he can’t believe he just threw it away like
that. Taehyung would be devastated if he knew he had simply gotten rid of it and he feels even
worse.
The necklace means a lot to him.
So he’s quick on his feet, running towards the bush to look for the necklace. He knows it’s broken,
he won’t be able to put it on, but he can keep it safely in his bag and get it fixed once he’s out.
He can’t seem to find it anywhere.
“Shit. Shit, shit, shit.” he mumbles, pushing twigs to the side aggressively, some of them breaking
off in the process. “C’mon, fuck—” he hisses as he cuts his finger on a thorn, but that doesn’t stop
him.
He continues looking for it until he sees the chain hanging on a leaf. His movements stop
altogether, letting out a long, relieved sigh. He reaches for it, clutching it against his chest for a
brief moment.
“You idiot.” he insults himself, going back to the same spot he was sitting on. The necklace is
definitely broken, he can’t put it around his neck and he hates himself for that. Why would he ever
do such thing?
He’d be so upset if Taehyung broke his mother’s necklace, how better is he if he just did the same
without even giving it a second of thought?
He feels absolutely terrible.
│►
Hours go by, he doesn’t even attend lunch after skipping breakfast, he’s not hungry in the slightest.
He’s still on the same spot, alone. Though his jacket is by his side once it’s gotten hot with the sun
shining right above him.
He looks up as someone approaches, an older lady sitting beside him. She’s in outsider clothes and
has the same tag all the therapist have hanging on her neck so he guesses she’s one of them. “I’ve
seen you around a lot, but never in my office.” she says, smile warm and welcoming.
“I… I have a therapist already on the outside.” he smiles back. “I don’t need one here.” Jungkook
looks down, fiddling with his fingers.
“Everyone needs a therapist, just one more than others.” she says with a little shrug and Jungkook’s
eyes go back to her, frowning.
“Do all therapists love that line? Are you taught that in college to get patients?” contrary to his
expectations, the lady lets out a genuine quiet laugh.
“No, it’s just the truth. You can talk to me, what’s bothering you? I could see you from my office’s
window and you’ve been here the whole day until now.” Jungkook remains silent, eyes trailing
back to his lap. “What brings you here?”
“Alcohol.”
“Yes, but what brings you here? You want a drink, why are you fighting it? It’s something, what is
it? What brings you here?” she goes on. “Family? A girlfriend? Friends? Yourself? What got you
to come here, Jungkook?” the male scoffs.
“Everyone fucking— says that, like my addiction isn't why I'm here. I’m here because I’m an
alcoholic. Was. Was an alcoholic.” he corrects. “And how do you even know my name?”
“I asked.” she shrugs. “Excuse me for saying, but I can see motives, I can see a past here, I can
usually tell by judging your attitude and the way you behave while just going about your lives and
some of the people here they’re just… here, they’re lost. They consumed because they were lost on
the outside and remain lost but you? You evolved a lot since the first time I saw you. I’ve always
seen hope and determination when it came to you, no matter how difficult it was, I could see it, and
I don't even know you. My job is to help people find that hope, that something to hold onto while
they're here, and I’m here offering you my help so that you don’t lose it.”
“Oh.” it’s the only thing he says. The lady smiles.
“I’m approaching you now because I’ve noticed many differences in your behavior lately. You’re
always sitting somewhere, you haven’t really gone to the activities, and that hope I saw in you
seems to be fading. Asking why you’re here was just a conversation starter but since you don’t
seem to want to tell me, we can just move as to why do you look like you may start to go on the
same path as the majority in here.” he sighs.
“It’s… a long story.” but her smile only grows further, gesturing him to go on. “I’ve been really
down lately because uh, I think... I think my boyfriend has given up on me… or is about to
anyways. I can’t lose him, I can’t do it, I can’t lose anyone else, I—” he stops to breathe, closing
his eyes tight as he looks away.
“Oh, c’mon, honey, it’s alright, no need to get so worked up.” she rubs his back reassuringly. “Tell
me what makes you believe that. And focus on breathing.”
“Jihoon… he, he said— and now my—” he stops, just about huffing. He doesn’t know how to say
it without sounding borderline obsessive or stupid. “This is hard. Talking.” Jungkook admits defeat
with a sigh.
“I’ll help. Jihoon told you what, honey?”
“He said when people come in here with relationships… they end. It happened to him
unfortunately and to literally everyone else here.” the lady nods. “And things were amazing with
my boyfriend, they were amazing for a while, but… it just changed.”
“What changed? Can you try to explain?” she encourages. Jungkook nods, though he still takes his
time to think it through, eyes on his lap.
“He’s got a new friend, and I know that’s absolutely ok, but I… I don’t like the guy, and I feel
really uneasy so I started getting a little distant… and now we just— he doesn’t visit, he doesn’t
call, I don’t— I have no idea where our relationship stands.” he admits.
“Well… do you call him?” Jungkook shakes his head. “Why not?”
“He doesn't want me to.” it’s almost a whisper.
“And how do you know he doesn’t want you to? Did you ask? Did he tell you?” he takes a
moment, chewing on the inside of his cheek. Taehyung didn’t say it, he never did tell him that, but
sometimes words aren’t exactly necessary. Actions can speak louder.
“He doesn’t visit and— his friends told me he’s happy when I’m here feeling like this and I just—
I’m not a bad boyfriend, he can have friends, I’m not controlling, I promise but—” Jungkook stops,
sighing. Trying to explain himself is just useless.
She nods, thinking. “Do you not trust him?” Jungkook looks down, picking at the grass.
Then he whispers, “I don’t know anymore.”
“How did you hear of this new friend? Did he tell you about him?” Jungkook sighs.
“He told me, and he mentions him many times… his best friends came here the other day and I
know they didn't mean no harm but they made shit a lot worse in my head. They told me he’s all
good and happy and I’m just— he’s not happy with me and I, I love him so much, I don’t think I
could handle it if he left me but, I’m not good enough for him to stay.”
“Why would you not be enough for him? Aren’t you here? Bettering yourself? Aren’t you here
talking about him with that sparkle in your eye? Why do you think like that? We’re too hard on
ourselves, Jungkook…” she gives him a knowing look, hand returning to his back, rubbing
reassuring circles.
“I’m a... I’m a heavy emotional bag to carry.. and because who am I to make him go through this?
I’m the most, fucked up human being, I can’t even give him a second family if we were to marry
or something, I can’t give him any money, I can’t give him a home, I can’t give him anything, I’m
literally a burden and if he wasn’t a psychologist he wouldn’t have given me the time of day, he
shouldn’t. I don’t deserve it, and I can’t— I can’t ask him to leave, but I can’t ask him to stay and
I’m... I don’t know what to do.” he’s quick to wipe a tear away.
“Let me ask you… What did he know about you when you started dating?”
“He was my therapist and literally the only person I’ve ever trusted so he knew… roughly
everything. Not completely but a big part of it.” he sniffs.
“So he wanted to date you for you, emotional baggage and all. He wanted you for who you are.”
she gestures, trying to get him to understand her words. “Could you tell me what lead you to
drinking? I want to understand you more, get a little insight.”
A sigh. “It’s a blur between my mother dying, my sister’s suicide, and my fucked up father, but
along the time of losing everything I just thought, what’s the fucking point, I don’t know why I
didn’t kill myself back then, maybe it was the feeling I had when I found my sister, I don’t know.
And— And I had these nightmares that forced me to remember everything, no matter how hard I
tried not to think about it and— alcohol was what I found that allowed me to sleep. It eventually
made me go to prison and I almost died there multiple times, and now... I can’t escape my past so I
don’t even know why I’m here, because if I lose Taehyung they’ll come back. The nightmares
come back. So I know I’ll turn to alcohol again, then what’s the point of all of this?” he rants,
almost in just one inhale, before his eyes meet hers “I’m sorry, I don’t know where that came
from.”
“It’s ok, darling, it’s ok, opening up is good for you, relieves your stress.” she reassures.
“I don’t want to continue talking about this.” he whispers. “Can you… this will sound very weird
but… can you— can you give me a hug?” Jungkook asks, a little embarrassed.
She doesn’t question, she doesn’t comment, she simply embraces him. Jungkook’s breath hitches,
hooking his chin on her shoulder. Her arms feel motherly. The hand going up and down his back
combined with her whole presence, her arms, the low humming at his ear, the back and forth
rocking, only remind him of one person.
His mother. Leaves him choked up. Oh how much he'd give for a hug from her.
He’s crying before he knows it. Every time she shushes him it just makes it worse. Her way of
hugging remind him way too much of his mother, who he hasn’t seen in way too long. Who he
hasn’t hugged in way too long.
And the lady can tell something is going on, though it only confirms itself further as he whispers a
faint ‘mom’ when his arms attempt to bring her closer. She’s experienced that many times in her
line of work so she simply hugs him as close as he needs her to be.
She rocks him, shushing him quietly.
“I’ve got you, it’s going to be okay, you’re safe, it’s alright… don’t worry, Jungkook.”
│►
Jihoon’s eyes shoot up, tapping Nira many times on her arm once he sees Jungkook walking into
their bedroom. She straightens up immediately, ready to speak when they notice he’s not alone.
There's an older lady, around fifty, they’d guess, right behind him.
They go straight to Jungkook’s bed, the lady letting him lay his head on her lap and he closes his
eyes right away. Nira shares a look with his friend, both confused, worried. “What’s wrong with
him…?” Jihoon asks.
“He opened up to me about some very personal things that have left him very sad and sensitive.
He’s in a… careful headspace, if you treat him roughly right now or say the wrong thing, he may
be extremely hurt.” she explains in a soft whisper, hand carefully threading through his hair.
Jungkook’s fast asleep. “He just needs a good nap.”
“There’s a shirt from his boyfriend in his suitcase, he keeps it for rough nights. He hasn’t taken it
in a while but I’m sure it’s still there…” Jihoon pushes himself off of his bed, rushing to kneel
down in front of Jungkook’s to pull his suitcase out. He unzips it.
“He’s mad at Taehyung, he may not even want that.” Nira says with a frown but, as soon as Jihoon
places the shirt next to his roommate, he grips onto it, hand curling around the fabric with a death
grip. “Alright, I was wrong.”
“I must go back, so if one of you could…”
“Oh, of course.” Nira gets up right away. Jihoon helps to carefully lift Jungkook’s head, the lady
getting up, only to be replaced by Nira’s lap instead. “Hope I’m just as comfortable.” she smiles,
hand finding its way to Jungkook’s hair.
“I’m sure you are, honey. And a good friend.” they both smile. “Please be gentle if he wakes up,
we don’t know what mood he will be in…” she reinforces, pointing at the two. Jihoon nods and so
does Nira, both understanding the instructions. “Well, have a good afternoon.”
“You too.” they say. “And thanks for taking care of our old man.” Nira adds.
The lady laughs, quiet but wholeheartedly. “He’s lovely, it was a pleasure” she bows before
leaving the bedroom and Jihoon returns to his bed, quietly looking at his sleepy roommate. They’re
left alone in the room, both silent. The atmosphere feels tense.
“Do you think this is about Taehyung?” Nira asks in a low whisper, not wanting to wake Jungkook
up, fingers still threading through his hair.
“I don’t even know anymore… they didn’t talk last night and I’m pretty sure Kooks cried, when I
woke up this morning he was already gone and I didn’t see him all day…” Jihoon sighs. “He's
seriously getting quieter by the day and I really don't like it. This situation is a whole fucking mess
that I can’t keep up with.”
“You’re telling me.” Nira looks down at the male in her lap. “I wasn’t that worried because I
thought they’d made up after two days but it’s been what? Literal weeks.” she whispers.
“Yeah, same…” he rubs his eyes. “Should we have a conversation with him or something? I don't
know what to do in such a situation.” Nira sighs. She’s not so sure either. She has no idea.
“I don’t want to push it on him, we may make it worse, we have no idea what's even going on for
real.” she points out. “I think it would be better if we let him talk to us when he’s ready instead of
asking.” Jihoon nods.
It’s silent for a while, both staring at Jungkook’s relaxed expression. “Do you think he’ll call
Taehyung tonight?” Nira asks, a little curious.
“Honestly? I doubt it.”
│►
When his eyes start fluttering open, he immediately feels a hand going through his hair in a slow
motion. He’s laying down in a bed and he can notice right away that the pillow is a little too hard.
He looks up.
He’s lying in his friend’s lap, he finds soon enough. Nira gives him a close mouthed smile. “Hey.”
she whispers. Her hand now stopped at the crown of his head. Not moving, but not going away
either.
“How did I get here?” Nira shares a look with the older man in the room, both confused by such
question.
“That nice lady brought you here. The therapist.” Jihoon explains. “Nira has been playing with
your hair ever since.” Jungkook closes his eyes for a second, stretching his limbs with a groan
before he sits up.
“I’m guessing I got all weird again.” he mumbles. “I’m sorry that you had to see me like that, it’s
shit that just happens and I can’t control it, I get really deep into my head and it just… goes
wrong.” Jungkook explains.
“You’re our friend, you don’t have to apologize. You’d do the same for us— hell, you’ve held my
hair back while I puked when I first arrived, we're here for you.” Nira says as she gestures between
her and Jihoon.
“Thank you, seriously.” he still has the need to reinforce.
“It’s really nothing.” Jihoon shakes his head. “Now, you woke up just in time for dinner, we were
already playing rock, paper, scissors to see who would wake you up.” he explains with a little
chuckle in hopes to make Jungkook laugh but he’s not successful.
“I’m not hungry.” Jungkook states, pulling the covers back to lay down correctly. Nira stops him.
“Don’t even think about it. You didn’t eat anything the whole day. You’re not skipping dinner,
even if I have to drag you to the cafeteria myself. I’m not joking.” she threatens with an accusing
finger pointed at him.
“Thank you for your concern but seriously, I can’t even think about eating right now.” he shakes
his head, laying down. He doesn’t even care that he’s not in his pajamas. “You two can go, I’ll just
sleep.”
“I’m bringing you some bread, I don’t care. And you’re eating it.” it’s Jihoon’s time to speak.
“You’re not going to sleep without eating something.”
Jungkook sighs. “Okay, you can bring some bread.”
“Do you want us to bring your phone?” Nira asks, chewing on the inside of her cheek. They fall
silent, unsure of what Jungkook may decide to go with.
They both hope he says yes.
“I… no, I don’t want it. But thank you.”
They share a knowing look before looking down.
“Alright. Take care, man, I’ll be right back.” Jihoon gestures for Nira to walk out and she does,
followed by him. “He fucking said no!” he whisper yells.
“I’m aware, this is so much worse than we thought.”
│►
Chapter End Notes
Double update tonight to get over with angst faster, move on to the next one.
◄│ 80 │►
Chapter Notes
Taehyung raises his head as he hears someone knocking and he quickly indicates that whoever it
is, is allowed to come in. Minjae stands by the door with a little smile after its open.
“Hey, can I come in?” he asks. He’s holding a plastic cup of what Taehyung guesses is coffee and
he sighs, getting up from his chair. His colleague takes that as enough of a confirmation, so he
proceeds to walk further, closing the door behind himself.
Taehyung crosses his arms, defensive.
“Listen I uh, wanted to apologize for what I said the other day.” he starts. “It was none of my
business and I took it too far, so I apologize. I’m sorry.” Minjae says as he hands Taehyung the
coffee and it sounds genuine.
Taehyung looks down at it before taking the coffee. “It’s ok, just don’t ever do that again.” he
smiles, halfhearted. He’s still upset about everything that was wrongly said about his boyfriend.
“I know. I know, and I won’t. I promise.” Minjae raises both of his hands in surrender. “Distance
was what proved to me that my ex-wife was having an affair and I can’t help but to feel as though it
will happen to you too, and I don’t want that.” he explains.
“Jungkookie and I are… we’re going through a tough time but— that doesn’t mean you or anyone
can comment on it. You can’t. It’s our business, no one else’s. And I appreciate you worrying
about me but seriously, please don’t talk about him if it’s anything but positive comments.”
Taehyung still reinforces.
“I’m just worried because when my wife started being distant… she was seeing another man
behind my back and it was a traumatic experience.” he says, trying to look as empathetic as
possible.
“Jungkook would never.” no hesitation.
“Of course, I shouldn’t have mentioned.” Minjae smiles and Taehyung finds himself chuckling,
placing the coffee cup on his desk before running a stressed hand through his blonde hair.
“I know what you’re doing and trust me, I know him. I know his heart. Jungkook would never do
such thing, not to me nor to anyone. You really don’t know him, so if you actually mean your
apology, stop talking about him with such disrespect.” his voice is stern now.
Minjae raises his hands again. “Shouldn’t have mentioned, I’m sorry.” Taehyung sighs. “Just enjoy
your coffee, okay? And I’m sorry, again. It wasn’t my place to comment so I promise not to do it
again. Don’t be mad at me anymore, I enjoy hanging out with you.”
“It’s fine.” he gives in. “Thank you for the coffee, we’ll talk at lunch time, ok?” Minjae bows with
a smile. “Now shoo, get out of my office, I have a patient arriving soon, I don’t want you here as I
work.” Taehyung says, playfully, waving him off.
“Sure thing. Have a good morning.”

“You too.”
His smile falls slowly once the door is closed. He sighs. It feels slightly good to know he’s at least
made up with his only friend at the moment but it didn’t help as much as he had expected it to.
His mind is only filled with Jungkook. Jungkook. Jungkook. How Jungkook is mad at him, how
Jungkook doesn’t call, how Jungkook is so likely to break up with him next time they see each
other, which happens to be in a few hours.
How Jungkook doesn’t want anything to do with him lately. How Jungkook seems to have started
hating him for no clear reason. How he has most probably lost the love of his life over something
he’s not even sure of.
How he’s so, so lonely.
How he’s absolutely and utterly devastated.
│►
“You’re not eating much lately, are you?” Namjoon asks after the waitress is gone, staring at the
salad Taehyung has ordered. The blonde just shrugs. “C’mon, tell me, are you eating properly?”
“Haven’t been hungry.” he shrugs again, picking and dropping a piece of chicken with his
chopsticks. “My dinner has been ramen or cereal and milk for the past two weeks… I just want to
head to bed, not hungry.”
“But that’s absolutely not healthy, you even look thinner, you can’t do that to yourself. Ramen isn’t
dinner, you can’t just have some ramen and call it a night.” Namjoon scolds. “Don’t even get me
started with cereal and milk. And you know this, so why are you putting your health at risk?”
“Joon, I’ve been so sad that I really just want to go to bed and only wake up the next day, I have no
patience to cook, especially not when only for myself, and I’m most certainly not going to order
take out every night only to trash half of it because I’m not hungry.” he explains with a sigh, finally
taking the meat to his mouth. Doesn’t even feel that tasty.
“Is this about the situation with Jungkook?” Taehyung nods. “Did you talk to him last week? We
didn’t really have time to catch up… I thought you’d be fine by now. Did the conversation go
poorly?”
“I didn’t visit last week. Yugyeom did, I thought you’d see it in the group chat.” Taehyung sighs.
“And I… I did something terrible today.” his voice breaks, guilt filling him up whole. Namjoon
straightens up.
“What’s wrong?”
“I texted Eunjae earlier for her to go instead.” he whispers, an immediate tear rolling down his
cheek. “I almost had a panic attack by myself while waiting for a patient because I couldn’t stop
thinking about how the visitation would go. I can’t… make myself go. Joon, I’m so terrified of
losing him, I know he’s going to break up with me if he sees me, I can’t— I can’t do it.”
“How… How long has it been since you last saw him?” Taehyung lets out a small sob, covering his
mouth.
“This is the third week I’m missing.” he pushes the words out, broken and almost mumbled.
Namjoon sighs, rubbing his temples. “You should hear him during our calls, he doesn’t want me
anymore, I know he doesn’t and— and I’m so scared.”
“Taehyung…” he takes a moment to think. “You have to talk to him before he starts thinking
you’re the one who doesn’t want to be with him. When that happens then what? You’ll both be
stuck not knowing what to do.”
“But he has no reasons to think that. Some days he doesn’t even call me, Joon, and I try to call him
myself now when he doesn’t and the calls just don’t even go through. He simply turns his phone
off. He doesn’t reply to my I love you’s at the end of our… two, three minutes calls. He’s being so
freaking mean to me, because I have no idea what’s happening and he just doesn’t tell me, and I’m
too scared to bring it up myself.” he lets out a shaky breath, covering his eyes for a long second. “I
feel lost. I feel freaking lost.”
“This is the messiest situation ever.” Namjoon rubs his eyes. “I’m in a position where I don’t even
know what to say myself. I don’t know his side of all of this so honestly, for the first time, I have
no idea of what to say. I don’t know what to advise you to do.”
“I don’t know what to do either.”
“Just… talking to him is the only way you’ll get any answer about what’s happening.” he says.
“It’s the only way you’ll ever know what he truly thinks and the only way you’ll have some peace
of mind. Since Eunjae is the one going for a visit today instead… I don’t know when you’ll bring
this up to him but I hope you do it soon. This is already taking a toll on you.”
“You’re right.” Taehyung nods. “I’ll have to go next week. No excuses. I have to— if it’s breaking
up that he wants to do then I guess I have to— man up and accept it, isn’t that right?”
“Well… yeah.” Namjoon sighs. “You two just have to fix this mess for your own sake. This can
only get worse if you don’t talk to him. There’s no getting better.”
“I know.”
│►
Eunjae taps the table in an almost rhythmical beat as she waits for Jungkook to show up and she
tries to entertain herself inside her own head. It’s been a few minutes since she got there and so far,
she’s still alone at the table, tapping it with her finger.
She hears a bitter chuckle behind her and soon her friend is sitting in front of her. He rests back
against it, a weird smile on his lips. “Uh, why do you look like you want to kill me or kill everyone
in the room?”
“I don’t.” he only smiles further.
“Dude—” she stops. “You know what, whatever. I'm the one here today because—” he raises a
hand, Eunjae stopping once again as he sits up straight.
“You don’t have to explain. What was it this time? Work? Did he just not make it?” Jungkook asks
with another chuckle. Eunjae blinks. “I’m going insane.” he runs a hand through his hair, resting
against the chair once again. “Seriously.”
“Would you like to tell me what’s happening…?”
“Taehyung doesn’t want me anymore. He cuts our calls short, he hasn’t visited in three weeks and I
fucking miss him but he’s— he’s got Minjae now and I’m starting to think that may be it. He’s
moving on. Is he moving on? Is he actually interested in this guy?” he says in just an inhale, finger
touching the table harshly.
“Uh, alright.” she gestures. “All I know is that Taehyung went to the café the other day, he
mentioned how he was grabbing coffee for a friend too so… as you can imagine, I asked about it.
It was for Minjae.” Jungkook bites down his teeth. “And— He didn’t really want to talk about you,
he just said he was in a hurry.”
Jungkook feels himself numbing. “Okay.” he whispers.
“What are you thinking?” Eunjae asks, cautious.
“That I’m over here getting paranoid about my relationship while he’s out there not giving two
shits about it.” he chews on the inside of his cheek, leg bouncing up and down anxiously. He can’t
stop it.
“I didn’t say that—”
“I don’t want to talk about it. Just tell me how you’ve been, haven’t seen you in a while. How is
everything?” Jungkook changes the subject before she can even finish her sentence and she furrows
her eyebrows.
It worries her. Incredibly so. She worried for the both of them but especially for Jungkook’s sanity
while stuck inside of there, a month still to go.
“Jungkook, I didn’t know you two were on such bad terms, I seriously, genuinely had to idea. I
wouldn’t have even brought it up, I’m so sorry.” she apologizes, reaching for his hand over the
table but he pulls back.
“It’s fine, just tell me about you.”
Eunjae sighs. Jungkook isn’t going to relent.
│►
Jungkook pushes the door open after just a short knock, the lady from just a few days ago looking
up at him over her book. “Oh, hey, Jungkook. Come in.” he doesn’t need to be told twice, already
half inside her office, walking towards the chair.
“He’s moving on.”
“Let’s talk about it.” she closes her book.
“I think— I’m mad.” Jungkook says as he sits down.
“Okay. You’re mad. Why are you mad?” she asks, taking a good look at his body language. He’s
stiff, jaw set, hands on his lap awkwardly.
“Why can’t he just— fucking rip the band aid off? I’m so tired, I just want this to be over. If he’s
not happy, then why can’t he just tell me? He’s just having pity for me because I’m here, why
can’t he just— grow a pair and tell me we’re done? Because I can’t do it myself.” he lets out, voice
growing louder and more stressed.
The lady’s eyes are as large as one could be. Jungkook’s in a completely different headspace as he
was some days prior. “Alright.” she gathers herself. “What has made you start thinking this way?”
Jungkook sighs, his demeanor changing. “I’m just tired.” he whispers. “I just… I need to know.”
“Know what exactly?” the lady asks, a long beat of silence following suit. Jungkook taps his knee,
trying to form a coherent sentence with all the mess inside his head. It’s hard, putting thoughts into
words.
“Does he want to break up? Does he like this new guy? Is he happier with him? Should I do
something about this or— I don’t fucking know. I just know that he should tell me, he should tell
me if he doesn’t want me anymore. And I’m pissed that he’s enjoying his time, probably not even
thinking about me, when he knows how messed up I can get when I get all in my head.”
The lady remains silent, she can tell he’s not done.
“You know he’s a therapist too, right? How can he just… forget about me when he promised he
wouldn’t? Am I really that awful for someone who understands me better than myself to just give
up? I need him to say it and stop pitying me. Makes me feel even worse, makes me feel
humiliated.”
She opens her mouth to speak, give him her truest opinion, but he beats her to it by speaking again.
“You’re right, I have to just get over this.” he gets up. “I’m here for myself, I’m here to work on
myself, because I’m worth something on my own too. If he wants to acts like we’re not dating then
— I’ll stop crying for this, I’ll work on getting over this.”
“Now, wait a minute—”
“No, no. I’m really tired. I love him, I really do, with all of my heart, but if he doesn’t show me the
same I give him, then what’s the point? This is supposed to be mutual and it doesn’t feel mutual at
all right now.” he gets up. “I’ll leave now, thanks for listening.”
“Jungkook, please sit down.” she gestures towards the chair but he doesn’t do as told. “You sound
angry and I know you’re putting that facade up to hide what you're actually feeling so please, sit
down.”
“No. Thank you.”
│►
Jungkook stares down at his phone as his best friend’s name pops up on the screen and he quickly
accepts it. “Hey, Yoongs.” he says quietly, curling into himself under the covers. “What’s up?”
“I haven’t heard your voice in a minute.” Yoongi comments right away. “How are you?”
Jungkook closes his eyes. “Terrible.” he finally admits. “It’s fucking terrible, Yoongi, I can’t deal
with this anymore, I think I’m reaching a breaking point.”
“What? Oh my God, what’s wrong? I thought rehab was going well, I’m so surprised, please,
what’s wrong? What has been happening that I’m not aware of? You know you can talk to me.”
Yoongi rushes.
“It’s… rehab is going well, that’s not the point, it’s Taehyung. I mean, our relationship. I don’t
even know if we still have one, to be completely honest.” Yoongi chokes on the other side,
coughing a few times.
“What?!” he almost screams. “Are you kidding?”

“You think I’d joke about this?” silence. “I haven’t seen him in three weeks. This all started
because he made a new friends and fuck the guy, I couldn’t care less for him, but the problem is
that… you know me, I got all quiet and paranoid and it just lead to a bunch of shit and now I’m
pretty sure he just wants to break up with me. Why else wouldn’t he visit?”
“You two just need to talk, this may be all a big misunderstanding, it’s you two. Jungkook and
Taehyung, the grossest but most in love couple, you don’t just— this makes no sense. I can’t
understand how could you just escalate so much out of nowhere.”
“Neither can I but here we are.” he sighs. “It’s honestly so frustrating, I’m so done with this whole
situation. He doesn’t visit, when we talk he says he couldn’t make it but gives me no explanation
and I’m left blaming myself. I’m done with that, I hate feeling that way, I shouldn’t be feeling this
bad while here.”
“Jungkook… I can’t— I don’t even know what to say, I had no idea this was happening between
you two and it just sounds impossible for you two to suddenly not even be together, I can’t
understand it.” Yoongi huffs.
“I have to go.” Jungkook whispers.
“Jungkook—” but the line is cut, Jungkook rolling over to stare at the ceiling instead. He can feel
Jihoon’s eyes on him and he knows he will soon say something.
He’s proven right. “Are you two actually not together anymore? This happened so fucking fast and
out of nowhere I don’t even know how to make it better.” he says as he sits up. “What will you do
now?”
“I don’t know.” Jungkook whispers. “How can I… want him away but right next to me at the same
time? I’m going crazy, I can’t continue doing this. I can’t continue to play this game. I should be
getting better, I’m here to get better, not to get like this.”
“But… it’s Taehyung…”
“Yeah. Taehyung who wants to break up with me. Taehyung who has fallen out of love with me.”
he chuckles, feeling stupid. “I honestly— I think I need space or I’m going to dig a hole for myself
in my head and I won’t be able to leave after.”
“Space? Space from him?” Jungkook nods. “Oh my God, I take back every time I complained
about your calls and about you saying you miss him, this is so wrong this isn’t supposed to be
happening.” Jihoon says, hurried, a hand over his chest.
Jungkook closes his eyes tight. “I need space. I can’t do this anymore.” he whispers as he shakes
his head. “Either that or I’ll seriously lose my mind here.”
│►
Chapter End Notes

Chapter End Notes
So let's discuss
◄│ 81 │►
Chapter Notes
“Why do you look so down?” Jimin asks, taking a sip from his soda. “You haven’t said a word on
your own without needing me to almost get it from you.” he tilts his head, confused.
Taehyung remains silent, eyes on his plain salad.
“I know we haven’t talked much in the past month because of all the preparations for the wedding
but you know you can talk to me. And don’t say everything is ok, I know you, something is clearly
wrong.” Jimin points out again, leaning closer. “What’s happening?”
“I haven’t talked to Jungkook in five days.” he says, voice weak. “He doesn’t pick up my calls no
matter how many times I try and they eventually stop going through so he just… turns his phone
off. Doesn’t reply to my texts, doesn’t acknowledge me.”
Jimin’s jaw falls. “What? Why? Since when are you like this with each other? Did you fight? Why
didn’t you tell me?! Tae, what the hell— what happened?” he questions, one after the other.
Taehyung sighs. “It’s been a month where things have been uncertain and weird and awkward
and… I just, I don’t know. I don’t know anymore. He stopped calling and simply doesn’t accept
my calls. I think he’s fallen out of love with me. What hurts me the most is that he just decided to
cut ties with me instead of being honest about how he feels. I’ve been crying myself to sleep for
weeks, I’ve lost count.” he explains, low, dragged.
“Why didn’t you tell me all of this? I can’t believe you’ve been going through this on your own. I
know you have Minjae but I wanted to be there for you, why didn’t you tell me sooner? It probably
hurts so much…” Jimin frowns, concerned, hand reaching for Taehyung’s.
“It does. It really hurts.” Taehyung nods. “I didn’t tell you because you’ve been so busy, you have
no time. And I don’t want to seem selfish by interrupting something so important as your wedding
preparation.” Jimin frowns even further.
“Tae, you're my best friend, I can always make time for you, I can’t believe you have been thinking
like this. I thought you were ok, I even told Jungkook you were doing great.” Taehyung looks up.
“I will always have time for you, always. Please don’t hide such things ever again, if you need me,
I’ll cancel whatever I’m doing to come to you.”
“Thank you so much— I’m going to cry.” he waves a hand in front of his eyes, looking up at the
light. His heart feels warm all of a sudden, Jimin’s words meaning way more than he can even
imagine.
“Please don’t, I hate it when you cry.” Jimin squeezes his hand. “Just tell me, today’s Tuesday, are
you going to visit him? You two have serious unsolved problems that need to be talked about.”
“I’m really scared, Jimin… I will visit him today, I will, but I’m so scared of the outcome. If he
breaks up with me, I won’t know what to do. Ultimately I have to accept it because it’s his decision
but it’s going to hurt so bad, I don’t know how I’m going to take it.”
“I can just assure you that whatever happens, Hobi and I are here for you ok? Please call me with
news as soon as you can, I want to be updated so that I know if I should go to your place
immediately.” Jimin squeezes his hand again. “It’s going to be fine. Whatever happens, it will be
fine.”
Taehyung nods. “Okay.” a sigh. “I’m so nervous.”
“I am too, now.”
│►
Jungkook’s quiet, almost playing with the food he was forced to grab before sitting down. His
chopsticks push the rice side to side, not really hungry or even in the mood to eat. His friends don’t
stop chatting, the topics are unknown to him.
His head hangs low, uncaring for whatever it is they’re talking about, until they both fall silent and
he feels their eyes on him. He looks up, looking between the two. “What’s wrong? You look like
you want absolute death.” Nira asks, worried.
“Shut up… it’s Tuesday.” Jihoon whispers.
“Oh, I forgot…” she whispers back.
Jungkook rolls his eyes. “I’m right here, can you two not? I can hear perfectly.” he pushes his tray
away, using his arms as a pillow to lay down on the table. He’s not hungry, he already took two
bites, that’s enough. That’s more than enough.
“We’re just worried about you…” Nira says, her hand going to his back, where it starts rubbing
reassuring circles, trying to calm him down in the process.
“He’ll come this week, you’ll see.” Jihoon tries.
“I don’t even know if I want him to come.” Jungkook says, muffled, and his friends share a
worried yet shocked look. That’s something they never imagined they’d ever hear from him.
“With all honesty, I don’t know if I want to see him.”
“Don’t say that.” Nira takes her hand away. “You may be angry and you have all the reasons to be
angry, but one thing I know is that you love him, and—”
He raises his head. “I do. I fucking do, so much, you two know how he’s everything to me, hell,
I’m here because of him so you can’t even imagine how fucked up I’m getting over this situation. I
just want this to be over.” his voice cracks at the end and the other two frown, worrying even
further.
“You want what to be over? Your relationship?” Jihoon whispers, concerned.
“I— No, I don’t want us to break up, but I know that if he comes, that’s what he’s going to do. I’m
fucking torn, in one hand I want him to be honest but in the other… I love him, I want to fix this
shit, even if I’m angry, I don’t want him to break up with me. Does that make sense? At all?” he
asks, a little exasperated.
“It does.” Jihoon nods. “I’ve been there, so I understand that feeling, you want to know the truth
and you want them to break up if that’s what they want, but you still love them so it’s hard to admit
you have to let them go.” Jungkook chews on the inside of his cheek. “Is that what you’re feeling
too?”
“Yeah.” he whispers. “I don’t know what I want anymore, I don’t know what I feel anymore, I
don't know anything, I don’t understand anything.” Jungkook lays back down on his forearms. “I
want to see him, I do, I miss his face, I miss his actual voice, but the part of me that knows this will
be all over if we talk, makes me wish he doesn’t visit today. Maybe I should just not go to the
visitors room myself.”
“Ok but… what if he doesn’t want to break up? Or what if he does but there’s still room to work it
out and fix everything? You have to go. And you want peace of mind to begin with, you’ll only get
that if you two talk it out.”
“I know.” Jungkook sighs. “What if I get mad? I know myself, I can get really defensive, it never
really happened with him but I’ve also never been angry at him and now I am, partially. This
conversation can go wrong in so many different ways.”
“I don’t think you have it in yourself to be mad at him.”
“Maybe I do now, I have no clue.” he says, muffled against his arms yet again. “I know I’m going
to cry, too, and I don’t want him to see that, because he’s all happy with the Minjae guy, and I can
finally admit that it has become jealousy, I hate the dude.”
“Listen.” Nira fixes her sitting position to face him on her side. “You’re going to stop creating
scenarios in your head before I actually smack you, you’re doing nothing but making yourself feel
worse and I can’t let this go on. You’re going to see your boyfriend and you’re going to have
whatever conversation that comes out of there. Period.”
“I agree.” Jihoon nods.
“I will do that. I have to.”
│►
Taehyung sits down in one of the available round tables, placing his bag on one of the chairs,
leaving the one in front of him available for his boyfriend to sit down. He’s nervous, he can
physically feel his heart beating against his ribcage.
He’s also happy, he’s finally going to see his boyfriend, if everything goes well, he’ll be able to
hug him, kiss him. He’s going to finally listen to Jungkook’s voice, see his face. He’s scared, but
excited. Nervous, but happy.
He lifts his head once the chair in front of him gets dragged back and he goes to smile but stops
once Jungkook’s expression registers in his mind. He’s not smiling, he looks distant. He didn’t kiss
him, that’s already a bad sign, but his expression makes everything worse.
Jungkook’s just staring at him.
His eyes look cold. Taehyung's never seen them looking anything but warm. He doesn’t like them
like that. He doesn’t like them at all.
He doesn’t even know what to say. He fiddles with his fingers, looking down at them, unable to
hold eye contact when Jungkook’s staring at him like that. If he was nervous before, he can barely
breathe now.
Jungkook breaks the silence. “I wasn’t expecting you.”
Taehyung looks up. “It’s… It’s my visitation day.” he whispers, unsure of what to even say.
Jungkook hums. “Usually someone else shows up because you couldn’t make it.” he says with a
smile but Taehyung sees right through it. He falls silent, because what can he even say to that?
That he doesn’t visit because he’s scared? Jungkook may just laugh in his face.
He doesn’t know what to say.
Jungkook sits up straight. “We haven’t talked in what? Four? Five days? I haven’t seen you in three
weeks, Taehyung I— I don’t understand why you’re here today.” he says with an exasperated
chuckle at the end, throwing his hands in the air. Taehyung furrows his eyebrows as their eyes
meet again.
“Why are you being so rude? I tried calling you, you had your phone off, why are you putting this
on me? You didn’t reply to my texts.” Taehyung finds himself getting defensive as well, though he
absolutely hates it. He doesn’t want to fight, that’s the last thing he wants.
“Yeah, sure, I’m rude now, ok.” Jungkook chuckles before he looks around and lifts a hand for the
nearest staff member to pay attention. “I’ll be leaving now, I won’t be using the rest of the time.”
the man in nurse clothes nods, gesturing towards the door.
Jungkook gets up.
“Babe, I just got here, can you please sit down?” Taehyung holds onto his forearm. “We have to
talk, please, sit down.”
“I don’t want to talk to you right now. And don’t call me that.” the words are heavy, Jungkook
feels wrong for even saying them, they’re hard to let out. He’s simply trying to protect himself by
avoiding the conversation, even if for that he has to be rude. “Let go of my arm.”
“Jungk—”
“Taehyung.” he interrupts. “Let go.”
Taehyung obeys, releasing his forearm. He doesn’t call after him as Jungkook walks out of the
room, but he does allow the tears to flow as he stares at the door after his boyfriend is gone. He
covers his eyes, inhaling sharply. That didn’t go as planned.
“Excuse me but your patient has left so… I have to ask you to do the same.” he looks up at the
same staff member Jungkook spoke to and he sighs, getting up. “Do you need a tissue? I can get
you some.”
“No, thank you.” Taehyung wipes his tears away with a little smile, sniffing before he heads out.
His eyes drift to the hallway Jungkook turned into and he has to squeeze his eyes tight to focus
instead of doing something irrational like trying to find his boyfriend.
He leaves the facility with a breaking heart and tears still falling. Their situation is worse than he
had anticipated at first.
Jungkook simply doesn’t want to talk to him.
│►
Taehyung sniffs, clutching the phone in his palm. “Hey.” Yoongi picks up after a few beeps.
Taehyung sniffs again. “Are you— Are you crying? What’s wrong?”
“I-I visited Jungkook today and he— he was so rude to me and then he just left, he left, we were
there for about a minute. I’m so upset, I seriously don’t know what to do right now, he just— why
did he just leave?” he asks with his voice wearing thin. Yoongi sighs.
“Are you surprised?” Yoongi asks.
“What?” he’s positively confused.
“I know you two haven’t talked properly lately, you missed the past three weeks of your visit, what
other reaction were you expecting from him?” Yoongi sighs but he doesn’t sound angry at all.
Upset, perhaps, but not angry.
“Hyung, I get the feeling that he doesn’t want me there lately, that’s why I asked someone to go
instead, I-I’m not sure of how this is my fault. I’ve been scared shitless that he’d break up with me
when we saw each other again but instead he simply got up and left me there without even trying to
talk about this situation.” he explains, being met with nothing but silence. Yoongi gapes.
“Are you serious right now?” he lets out, incredulously. “You two are so fucking stupid, I swear to
God, I want to hit you both right now.” Yoongi groans at the end, so frustrated he’s a second away
from punching the wall.
“I— What? I mean, why?”
“He thinks you want to break up with him!” Yoongi points out.
“Why would he think that?!” Taehyung’s voice goes higher, confusion filling him up whole. “I
don’t understand, Yoongi, I’m so confused, what are you talking about?” he almost cries again,
just about hating not being able to understand it.
“Tae, he called me a few days ago and he told me he’s the one feeling like you don’t want him
anymore, he thinks you may have fallen out of love with him…” Taehyung can’t even speak, eyes
so wide he feels them going dry. “That’s why he was being rude, he’s mad because he feels as
though you’re playing with his feelings or pitying him by liking someone else but feeling too bad to
break u—”
“Wait, wait, by what? Liking someone else? I don’t like anyone else, is he insane?” Taehyung sits
up. “Hyung, I love him so much, I thought he was the one falling out of love with me, what do you
mean he thinks I like someone else?!”
“Uh, he mentioned a Minjae…” Yoongi scratches the back on his head. “He said things started
getting awkward because he got really quiet since he felt uneasy with that Minjae guy but he thinks
that now you’re happier with this new friend of yours and I think that’s what teared you two apart
like this.”
“Minjae…?” he whispers. “He’s just my friend, I’ve been hanging out with him because I’ve been
feeling lonely, but Minjae knows how taken I am, we even fought many times because he seems
not to be respectful enough and I love Jungkook, I couldn’t let that happen.” Taehyung sighs. “I
can’t believe he didn't just tell me Minjae was upsetting him.”
“You know how he is, I think he probably just didn’t want to feel bad for having a new friend.”
Taehyung frowns. “What a big misunderstanding, you were both getting defensive and imagining
the worst when this was just lack of communication.”
“I feel so stupid, hyung.” he rubs his temple. “I should’ve just told him how I felt and he should’ve
done the same, we just let our insecurities get in between our communication and we lost it, no
wonder he was so mad at me, he’s imagining I’m seeing another man while he’s there— God, he’s
so dumb, how can he think I’d ever replace him.”
“And you’re dumb if you think he’d fall out of love with you like this.” Yoongi sighs. “You’re both
dumb. No, not even dumb. Stupid. Plain stupid. You’re both stupid. I understand you both have
many insecurities and many things that sometimes can get you to overthink but oh my God, you’re
dating the most understanding people you two could have ever met, it’s so frustrating that you got
like this instead of talking.”
“I know. I know that. I feel so stupid now, I can’t believe I allowed this to happen, I should’ve
connected the dots, I should've understood he started getting quiet and upset with me when I
started hanging out with Minjae, I could’ve prevented all of this.” he sighs.
“There’s no use blaming yourself, you just have to talk to him and explain all of this without being
afraid anymore. He doesn’t want to break up, he’s afraid that you’re going to.” Yoongi explains.
“Call him, try fixing this before it’s too late.”
“I will. Thank you so much, hyung.”
“It’s nothing, really.”
│►
Taehyung groans as the tenth call goes straight to voicemail. Jungkook’s phone is turned off and
that makes it impossible for him to explain what’s been happening between them. He’s not scared
anymore, if anything, he’s just anxious about the calls not going through. He sighs.
He’s happy, his chest feels lighter. Jungkook doesn’t want to break up, Jungkook didn’t fall out of
love. Jungkook is just as dumb as he himself is and they just have to talk it out and fix the obvious
misunderstanding that happened.
After calling five more times he finally accepts that he’s not going to be able to talk to his
boyfriend, he’s not going to turn his phone on, he’ll have to wait for the next day to try again and
try to fix everything.
He calls his best friend instead, fingers threading through Moon’s fur. “Hey, baby. How did the
meeting go? You should’ve called sooner, I’ve been on the edge the whole afternoon thinking
about it— why aren’t you speaking yet, please tell me.” Taehyung giggles.
“It went so well he left after a minute and I came home crying.” Jimin is left silent. “I just called
Yoongi to tell him about this and you won’t believe it.” he laughs at himself, slapping his own
forehead. “It’s so, so stupid.”
“Uh, what happened?”
“Jungkook has been thinking I’m the one who wants to break up with him, he’s been uneasy about
Minjae and instead of telling me, he distanced himself… which made me think he didn’t want me
to call or to visit… which made him think I didn’t want to see him… which got him mad and got
me— you get the point, right?” he bends down to kiss Moon’s nose once she lifts her head. She
huffs, licking his cheek.
“I get that you’re both idiots, yes.” Jimin chuckles. “I was pretty sure it was impossible for him to
suddenly not want you anymore, I knew it had to be deeper than that. And it was— Oh my God, I
fucked up too, then, Tae, I’m so sorry. I told him you were so happy with Minjae, I can’t believe
this— I’m so sorry.”
“Jesus…” Taehyung giggles. “We all just messed up collectively. I just need to talk to him and
explain all of this, I can’t imagine how he’s feeling.”
“Did you try calling him?” Jimin asks.
“Yeah, I did, but his phone isn’t on so… he’s probably not going to turn it on or just block me so I
have to wait until the next time I can visit him…” he sighs. “Maybe I can ask whoever is going on
Thursday if they mind if I go instead.”
“Or… you don’t.” Taehyung tilts his head. “You’re… a therapist… just go there tomorrow, say
you have to evaluate him or something, show your diploma if you have to.”
“You mean— just showing up there?” Jimin hums. “What if they don’t let me in? What excuse
could I possibly use to have to evaluate a patient that is surrounded by therapists there anyways?
They’ll think I’m stupid.”
“Not if you mention how you’re his therapist on the outside and he called saying he can’t talk to
anyone else on the inside. Just be smart about it, think of how much of a good idea that would be if
it worked.”
“Oh my God, I’m a terrible liar.” he stresses.
“You managed to make Jungkook and I believe you were fine.” Jimin points out as if it’s all too
obvious.
“Ok, I see your point. I’ll call in sick tomorrow.”
│►
Chapter End Notes
Double update, go onto the next one hehe

◄│ 82 │►
Chapter Notes
This is the last double update,,, hehe
“...he’s my patient, he called me in a deep state of loneliness and stress because he can’t talk to any
therapist in here. I know all the therapists here are highly qualified but we’ve been building our
trust for a long time, he’s someone who doesn’t simply open up. So I’d like to see him because his
call was extremely concerning.” Taehyung explains, words certain and well-rehearsed on the car
ride.
“I have no power to just allow you to go inside, Mr. Kim. Please wait for a little as I ask my
superior to come here to meet you, perhaps she will let you go see your patient.” the nurse at the
front desk smiles, already grabbing the phone. Taehyung thanks her with a bow, taking some steps
back to give her privacy.
There’s a few chairs for those waiting at the lobby and he takes a seat, his bag in hand. He made
sure to take not only his diploma as Jimin advised but also Jungkook’s files from when he used to
be his patient.
He hears a pair of heels marking someone’s way towards him and only does he look up when he
sees them stop in his line of vision. He feels like he could run away once he sees the lady who he
met when he accompanied Jungkook during the signing up process.
“Good morning, Mr. Kim.” she greets with a smile, holding a hand out that he quickly takes as he
gets up. “Would you like to explain why you’re trying to see one of our patients?” she’s still
smiling. Maybe she doesn’t remember him, he thinks.
“I’m Jeon Jungkook’s therapist on the outside and there have been a few calls from him that
worried me immensely. I’m here to see him and make sure his mind is on the right track.”
Taehyung explains with a smile and she raises an eyebrow.
“Are you actually even a therapist?” ok. He was wrong. She remembers him. He clears his throat,
looking for his diploma in his bag and he pulls it out with a creeping blush on his neck. He hands it
over.
The lady reads it over just enough to know it’s real.
Then she sighs. “You know I know you’re his boyfriend.” Taehyung wishes the ground were kind
enough to swallow him whole and spare him of the absolute embarrassment he’s feeling.
“This is really important.” it’s the only thing he says, trying to convey his concern in the way he
speaks.
“No one can go in outside of visitation hours, Mr. Kim.”
“As his boyfriend with a diploma and a certificate of a high profile clinic, I am concerned about
our patient and I’m afraid if I don’t get to evaluate him right now, his progress here may be lost. I,
a therapist, would like to assure that isn’t the case.” Taehyung says, smiling at the end. The lady
remains silent for a few seconds before sighing again.
“You really want to see him, huh?” she doesn’t look close to relenting so Taehyung pulls a card he
thought of while driving there. Tears. He covers his face with a hand, head hanging low as his
shoulders shake.
“You can’t even begin to imagine how utterly worried I am about our patient—” he fakes a sob
that isn’t entirely fake either way. He’s actually worried and he has actual reasons to cry right then
and there.
“Alright. Alright, no need to cry.” there's a hand on his shoulder but he continues his act, going
through with it with absolute perfection. “I— I can give you thirty minutes, ok? No more, and I
shouldn’t even be doing this to begin with. Thirty minutes. Come with me.”
“Oh, thank you, thank you so much.” he looks up with shiny red eyes and a tear rolling down his
cheek. He smiles as soon as she turns around to guide him, wiping away the tear. He feels
accomplished.
That worked out better than expected.
He just trails after her without a word.
Taehyung inhales sharply to gather his courage after the lady drops him by Jungkook’s room and it
takes him a few seconds to actually step in. There’s a girl and who he guesses is Jihoon sitting in
one of the beds playing some card game and Jungkook’s laying down on his own. Their eyes meet.
“What are you doing here?” Jungkook gets up from his bed, already taking two steps closer. His
friends go quiet from where they bicker about some move Nira sees as absolutely not allowed
while Jihoon disagrees.
“I need to talk to you—”
“If you’re going to break up just rip the band aid off. Do it quickly.” Jungkook says with a stern
voice, trying to come off as strong and well put together.
But Taehyung knows him too well and he can see the pain behind his eyes. “Why would I want to
break up with you?” he asks, wanting to hear the reasoning coming directly from Jungkook.
“Are you serious? Because you basically have a new dude all over you and ever since you started
hanging out, we don’t talk as often on the phone, you don’t visit… what else am I supposed to
believe besides that you want to break up?” he asks with an exasperated chuckle. “I’d count the
stupid days to your visits, I was so fucking excited to see you every time and you suddenly stopped
coming and when I’d ask, you would just say you couldn’t make it while I could hear that bitch
dude talking in the back. Do you have any idea of how I’ve been feeling? If you want to break up
then just do it, it’s not like I’m not already waiting for it.”
“Babe, there’s been a misunderstanding.” Taehyung says as he takes a step closer but Jungkook
backs away just as much, maintaining the distance.
“I don’t get it.” Jungkook shakes his head with a frown.
“I didn’t know you were that bothered with Minjae, I just thought you didn’t want to talk to me
when you started cutting our calls short. You barely talked to me when we did call, you sounded
like you didn't want me to call… I started thinking of Sik and I— I thought you just didn’t want me
to come, that’s why I asked someone else to visit every time.” Taehyung whispers the end, a tear
already rolling down his cheek. “Besides, I was scared you’d break up with me if I came...
yesterday you left me in the visitors room and that’s when I talked to Yoongi because I was so hurt
and he made me see what the problem was, he told me your side… I wasn’t coming often because
I thought— you didn’t want me here, I thought you wanted to break up. I never wanted to, ever.
I’ve never wanted to break up with you, hyung, we were just both… being stupid.”
Jungkook looks away, sitting down on his bed before he places his head on his hands,
overwhelmed. Taehyung lets out a shaky breath, wiping a tear as he sits down as well, one hand
going to Jungkook’s back to rub reassuring circles.
It’s a lot to take in. He can’t even begin to comprehend how everything, the whole spiral they went
through, the paranoia, was simply caused by a misunderstanding due to lack of communication
between them.
He takes a minute in absolute silence, before he looks up at his boyfriend. “So… you and
Minjae…?”
“There’s nothing between Minjae and I. He’s a friend, nothing else, and he knows his place, he
knows I’m taken, he knows I love you. I bring your name up about a hundred times when I’m with
him.” Taehyung assures. “Not once did he replace you. I promise.”
Jungkook nods before he looks down again in the same position as previously. Taehyung continues
to rub his back, looking ahead to the pair still watching them, holding their cards even though they
didn’t put any other down since Taehyung joined them. They both wave. Taehyung smiles as he
waves back.
Then he looks back at his boyfriend. “Are you with me?” he whispers, leaning closer. Jungkook
raises his head, tears wetting his cheeks and Taehyung wonders how could he cry so quietly. He
stops rubbing his back, hand going to Jungkook’s hair in order to push it away from his face.
Jungkook perks up to cup Taehyung’s cheek, staring into his eyes for a few seconds as if to try to
understand if what he just heard is the truth and he finds absolutely no trace of lying. He joins their
lips, deep, before he pulls back. “So this— this was all a misunderstanding? You still love me?” he
whispers.
Taehyung nods, his own hands finding their place on the sides of Jungkook’s jaw. “I still love you
the same way, probably even more, actually.” there’s an immediate tear falling from his eye and
Jungkook wipes it away with his thumb.
He kisses him again, three pecks to be exact, before he hides his face against Taehyung’s neck as
he pushes him back into the bed. They wrap their arms around each other and that’s enough to
make the both let out a small sob.
The relief, the happiness that hug brings them is way too much to bare. “I love you too.” Jungkook
whispers against his neck, shoulders shaking with tears. Taehyung would like to say he’s doing any
better but that would be a lie.
Jihoon reaches for the tissues on his bedside table, handing them to Nira, who tries to keep her
own tears under control, cards long forgotten, both way too focused on the couple in front of them.
“I’m so sorry.” Taehyung whispers, pulling back to be able to face his boyfriend properly. “I
should’ve talked to you instead of letting… this happen.” he says with new tears rolling down, his
fingers threading through Jungkook’s hair.
“I should’ve talked too, it’s my fault too.” he shakes his head, dragging himself closer. “I’m sorry
too, especially for the way I was so fucking cold with you.” Taehyung shakes his head, opening his
mouth, but Jungkook places a finger over his lips. “It’s my fault too.”
“You’re here, you didn’t do anything.” Taehyung pulls his hand away. “I’ve missed you so much,
I’m so sorry, I love you. I do.” he sniffs, bringing Jungkook further into him to rest their foreheads
together. They both exhale.
Relieved. So, so relieved.
│►
Jungkook’s caressing Taehyung’s cheek as he whispers sweet nothings into his ear, I love you’s
spilling from both their lips every so often, when the sound of heels clicking on the floors
announces someone’s entrance in the room.
The lady turns to Jihoon’s bed first, where the two are still watching the couple attentively yet
trying not to be too obvious about it. “What are you doing here? You know we separate women
from men in the rooms, young lady.” she asks.
“They’re my only friends here, ma’am.” Nira says with a frown and puppy eyes. “I promise I’m not
trying to get into their pants, they’re my buds.” the lady gives her a short nod before facing the
other bed, trying not to smile at the sight. She knew too well that’s what would actually happen,
not an evaluation.
“So, have you evaluated the patient?” she asks, hands together at her front.
Taehyung sits up, clearing his throat as he fixes his hair. “Yes.” he looks over at his boyfriend, who
has an eyebrow raised and a confused smile. “I have thankfully been able to evaluate the patient
and be sure of his well-being.”
She glances between the both, Jungkook’s still messy hair, their still red eyes, swollen lips. “I’m
sure you did.” she nods. “The thirty minutes seem to be up, though, so please say your goodbyes.”
Jungkook sits up as well, the four of them staring back at the lady.
“Ma’am, I’m sure they want to do some kissing as a goodbye.” Jihoon says after a few seconds of
silence. “In private.” he adds, trying to get the hint through.
“How would it be private with two more people in the room?” she asks with a confused chuckle,
gesturing between the two of them.
“They might as well have seen me naked, please, they’re fine.” Jungkook waves her off.
Taehyung turns to him. “Excuse me—”
“Alright, I’ll give you a minute.” she bows before she leaves the room again, unable to keep her
smile away any longer. She’s seen Jihoon there for so long, never accompanied, never with friends.
Makes her happy to finally see an actual friendship within the facility.
Taehyung faces his boyfriend again, his arms going over Jungkook’s shoulders as they kiss yet
again, slow, and deep. Jungkook’s hands rub Taehyung’s back soothingly, though they start going
down as the kiss gets even deeper.
“Hey— Hey, dude, we’re still here, c’mon.” Jihoon is quick to interrupt.
“I’d start throwing money if I had any.” Nira comments.
Jungkook chuckles as they pull apart, giving her a disapproving look before looking back at
Taehyung. He combs his blonde hair away from his eyes. “I’m fucking scared of letting you go
home now, what if this shit happens again?”
“You'd have to be really stupid, let me tell you t—” Nira elbows him immediately.
“I’ll just walk you to the entrance.” Jungkook gets up, pulling Taehyung by the hand with a smile,
leading him to the bedroom door.
“It was nice meeting you two. Kind of. We’ll talk sometime.” Taehyung nods with a bow that they
both mirror, smiling just as big. Jungkook just walks him out before either of them can say anything
stupid.
“I have to listen to their disgusting calls again…”
“That was the most romantic shit I’ve ever seen.” Nira whispers. “Taehyung’s way prettier than I
had imagined, too, that picture doesn’t compare to the real thing— and the card you put down isn’t
allowed, pick that shit up.”
“It is allowed!”
Taehyung frowns once they reach the lobby, holding both of Jungkook’s hands between their
bodies. “I love you, hyungie. A lot. To the moon and back.”
“If Moon’s home then that’s not much—” there’s a finger against his lips right away. He chuckles.
“I love you too, baby. I’m still trying to… take in that everything that happened wasn’t actually
happening. It’s a lot. I’m so happy, but it’s a lot. I really thought you didn’t want me anymore… or
that you were interested in that guy.”
“Know I’m not interested at all, okay?” he whispers, pecking his lips. “And I understand what
you’re feeling, it was a lot for me to take in, too, I barely slept just thinking of how dumb we are.”
Taehyung giggles, cupping Jungkook’s jaw, thumb caressing his skin. “I missed you so much,
please promise you’ll call tonight. Please. Promise me.”
“Promise to talk to me if I ever behave like a scared, insecure idiot again.” Jungkook holds his
hand out, pinky finger pointed.
Taehyung curls his own around it.
They lean in to kiss them and seal the promises.
“Mr. Kim.”
“Oh, yes, yes, I’m sorry.” Taehyung nods, taking a step closer to hug Jungkook as close as possible
before he pulls back. “I love you, ok? Don’t ever doubt that.” he whispers, only for him to hear.
Jungkook nods.
“Please don’t ever doubt my love either.” he pulls Taehyung by his hand for them to kiss again, a
few pecks, one after the other. “The lady is going to physically kick you out, she’s coming.”
Jungkook chuckles before pecking him one last time and taking some steps back.
“I’ll— I’ll go now, then.” Taehyung informs, one of their hands still holding onto each other for
some contact. “Please call me at night.”
“I will. Drive safely.” Jungkook sends him a little kiss before they finally let go, Taehyung walking
to the exit. Jungkook sighs once he’s gone.
Then he smiles, bowing to the lady before heading back to his room with a skip in his step. He’s so
happy. So relieved. His heart is so full.
He can’t even believe what just happened.
│►
“—I told you it’s not acceptable, take your damn card back!” Nira grabs it for him, pushing it
towards his chest. “Can we continue the game, oh my f—” she stops as Jungkook returns to the
bedroom and they watch as he lays down in his bed, facing the ceiling.
He lets out a dreamy sigh, hands over his stomach, smile on his face.
“Jihoon and I were just talking about how hot Tae is.” Jungkook looks at them, chuckling, forearm
now under his head to elevate it.
“She was, I didn’t say anything.” Jihoon immediately corrects her with a hard look.
“You know his masculinity is really fragile, he’d never admit a man is good looking.” he says,
making Nira laugh as she points at him with a nod. “I’m too happy to even make fun of you today,
I’ll let it pass.”
“My masculinity is not fragile, I can say if another guy is good looking.” Jihoon defends himself.
“Like… you’re…” he looks between the both of them, trying to find his words. “You know what,
fuck off, I don’t have to compliment you— and you take the fucking card, can we please proceed
with the game.”
“Fine, just put it down.” Nira gives up. “And Jungkook, if it’s any consolation, I think you’re very
attractive.” she says with a smile, putting her own card down.
“I know, that was never in question.” Jungkook nods to himself, looking back up.
“I’m never complimenting you again.” she mumbles.
It’s silent for a while after that, they’re focused on their game and Jungkook’s just going over
everything in his mind yet again, still trying to accept how wrong he was about everything he
thought Taehyung was doing on the outside, how wrong he was for ever doubting Taehyung’s
loyalty. He feels bad for not having spoken about it, could’ve prevented everything. They could’ve
solved everything in less than a week instead of letting it get so dragged.
“Kook?” he looks back at them once he hears his name. “How are you feeling?” Jihoon asks.
“I… I feel extremely happy. I’m confused, but… I mean, I’m still a bit overwhelmed, but I’m so
fucking happy and just— relieved.” he turns to his side to face them properly, hugging his pillow.
“I should’ve guessed it was just my problematic brain acting up instead of doubting him, who has
never even given me reasons to do so.”
“You both fucked up. You both could’ve talked and decided not to, so there’s not one at fault, stop
being so hard on yourself.” Nira sighs. “The way you look at each other is so disgusting, I don’t
even want to imagine how you two act when you’re alone.”
Jihoon gags. “Imagine the amount of times they—” another. “—say they love each other.”
“This makes me sick.” Nira places a hand over her stomach and another on her forehead.
Jungkook chuckles. “I’m way too happy to give a single shit about this right now.” he sighs,
dreamy again. “I miss him alr—”
“Please don’t.”
│►
“I need your help.” Jungkook says as he slides next to Nira, holding his tray with dinner that he
hasn’t had in a while. He’s hungry, though, and the meat smells way too good. She gives him a
questioning look. “You can paint.” he points out.
“Yes, I am aware of that.” she nods.
“And I can’t.”
“...that’s a lie but do go on.” Nira gestures. “Do you want my help to paint?”
“You see, I wanted to give Tae all my paintings after I left but… uh, let’s say I trashed all of them
when I reached my anger peak.” he scratches the back of his neck. “I was hoping you could help
me paint something really special for me to offer him. Instead of painting multiple random
canvases, I was thinking of… spending my last month here working on something that will really
put effort into.”
“You know I’ll be out in a week… I don’t have that much time to help you.” she frowns.
“I don’t want you actually doing anything on the painting itself, I just want your tips and shit like
that. Please, please. I want to make up for the shit that happened, you know?” a sigh. “If you don’t
mind helping me, I’d really be thankful.”
“Dude, of course I’ll help.” Nira smiles, taking some rice to his mouth. “Do you have any idea of
what you want to paint? Do you want it to be anything directed to him or something more…
random?”
“I— yes.” she watches as he gets the same Taehyung picture he has stared at for countless during
the night. “I wanted to try, and please, let me mark the word well, try, to paint this.” he looks down
at it, Taehyung’s sleepy smile, sleepy eyes staring back at him. “He thinks he looks terrible here…
and I think he looks so fucking beautiful.”
Nira leans closer to take a good look, picking it up. He has never really allowed them to grab the
picture. “Now that I’ve seen Taehyung properly, I don’t know if I want to steal one of you, join you
or just watch.” Jungkook’s mouth falls, eyebrows forming a frown.
He snatches the picture from her hands. “Never mind!”
“I’m joking, give me that back.” she laughs. “Although I must say, I would’ve flirted with him if it
was him here instead of you. Is he into girls? I’ll snatch him once I’m out, just you see.”
“Well, sucks to be you, I guess, he’s not into girls.” Jungkook smiles. “Now stop talking about my
boyfriend like that in my presence.”
“I’m just saying, man.” Nira shrugs as she analyzes the picture. “But I wouldn’t actually try to steal
him, you two are perfect together. And the picture will look amazing turned into a painting if we
do this well. We must try to get the art room open so that we can coat the canvas white and get it
to dry for tomorrow.”
“They won’t open it for us.”
“They might.” she points out. “Tae’s going to love it.”
“I hope so.” a sigh. “Thanks for helping me, seriously.”
“It’s really nothing. I love painting, and I love you, so I really don’t mind helping you with this.”
Nira smiles, squeezing his shoulder before going back to her dinner. Jungkook starts enjoying his
as well. “You look so much happier ever since Taehyung left, this is so relieving, Jihoon and I
have been worried sick.”
“I’m… I’m really happy, Nira. He’s the guy that I know I want to spend my life with, you know?
Knowing that we’re not actually on the verge of breaking up, that we’re not actually on such
fucked up terms is the best thing that happened ever since I arrived.” he looks down. “But now that
you mention him, where the hell is Jihoon?” Nira shrugs.
“He went to the bathroom, I think.” Jungkook hums. “But oh my God, you two are literally made
for each other, please let me be at the wedding.” he chuckles. “Front line. Please.”
“Front line is kind of a push.”
“Alright, I’m happy even sitting at the back.”
│►
Jungkook plops himself down in bed with his phone in hand. He turns it on after almost a week, all
the missed calls and texts coming through at last and his heart crumbles as he reads over
Taehyung’s. He was really just an idiot.
He presses the phone to his ear and it takes a few beeps for Taehyung to pick up. “Hey.” he greets
on the other side. “I was just cooking dinner, almost didn’t make it in time to accept the call.”
“You’re only cooking now? You usually eat earlier.” Jungkook asks as he lays down, smiling to
himself as he stares at the wall. “Did you go somewhere?”
“Mhm.” Taehyung confirms. “I went to see Joon after he was done with work and Minjae caught
me on the way out so we… had some coffee.” Jungkook hums. “Where I basically only talked
about you and how I was able to see your handsome face.”
“You better.” he chuckles. “Did you have fun, at least?”
“It was alright, it was really just coffee, then we parted ways. But that’s why I’m only cooking
now.” Taehyung explains and Jungkook can hear the knife hitting the cut board. “Babe, can I—
Can I just… say something? About him?”
“About whom? Minjae?” Taehyung hums. “Sure.”
“I’m really not interested in him, not one bit, and I love you, you mean the world to me, so if you
don’t want me to hang out with him, I won’t.” he says, voice as calm as it could get. “You didn’t
tell me he bothered you and look at where it got us… so please, be honest with me, ok? If he makes
you feel uneasy then I won’t hang out with him. You come first.”
“No…” Jungkook sighs. “I don’t want you to stop hanging out with your friends just because I’m
insecure about dumb stuff. You can see him, I’ll never be the boyfriend who tells you what to do,
so no, I’m not going to ask you to stop hanging out with him even though I wouldn’t mind if he, I
don’t know… tripped. Down the stairs. Something like that.”
“Jungkook!” Taehyung says, shocked, but he laughs. “That’s so— you don’t mean that!”
“I do.” Taehyung giggles. “Jokes aside, as long as he knows his place, hang out as much as you
want.” he reassures. “I trust you. I had a moment where I thought I didn’t, but I do. You’ve never
given me reasons to think otherwise.”
“Alright.” he whispers. “Just please tell me if there’s something bothering you, okay? You know
we can talk and fix whatever, don’t keep such serious things to yourself ever again.”
“I promise I won’t.” Jungkook sighs, shifting in bed to make himself more comfortable. “Is he
attractive?”
“Huh?”
“Minjae. Is he attractive?” Taehyung remains silent. “Babe, I have to know how to picture him
falling down the stairs.” there’s a laugh on the other side.
“Shut up, God, I feel so bad for laughing— and I don’t know, he’s not attractive to me, at least, I
don’t really care for that now that I have you.” he answers, genuine. Jungkook refrains from
cooing.
“That’s a great answer, my ego has been lifted enough for a few days.” Taehyung giggles. “What
are you cutting, hm?”
“I’m chopping some carrots. I really hate cooking only for myself but I was feeling like it today.”
he singsongs the ending. “Moon is a great company but I miss sharing meals with you. Definitely
miss you cooking instead of me doing it, too.”
“I see how this is.” Jungkook hums. “Can’t even try to be upset, I miss your food too. And Moon.
And sleeping with you. And cuddling. And—”
“Jungkook, please.” Jihoon groans, turning around with the pillow over his head. “Some of us
remain single.”
“That’s sad. Anyways, what are you cooking?”
“Can I call you in video?” Taehyung asks and Jungkook feels himself smiling again.
“Of course.”
│►
Chapter End Notes

Let's discuss
◄│ 83 │►
Chapter Notes
I'm sorry that today's update is being posted at such late hour...
Taehyung wakes up with a deep inhale, sitting up the exact same second. He gulps, trying to
stabilize his breathing, raising a hand to his sweaty forehead right away. His eyes are wide, the
dream still very much clear in his mind and he can’t stop his rapid heartbeat.
The way Jungkook was holding him, the words whispered to his ear, the hands roaming his body.
He’s sweating. Extremely uncomfortable too.
Another gulp before he lifts his sheets to confirm his suspicions. His cheeks flare red, dropping the
sheets right away. He’s never felt that wrong, that embarrassed of himself. He can’t believe his
mind would do that to him in his sleep. That’s just wrong.
So wrong.
It takes him a few minutes to move from his position and to get up from bed but he has to when it
actually starts hurting and he’s more than uncomfortable like that. Sweaty shirt thrown into the
laundry basket as soon as he gets to the bathroom.
He stops in front of the mirror as he places his phone on top of the sink. His cheeks hold a high
blush that goes up to the tips of his ears, his hair is damp from sweat. Taehyung looks away from
his reflection, rubbing his eyes and he tries not to judge himself even more over what’s happening.
He’s never had such dreams, why on Earth did his mind come up with that out of nowhere? How is
he supposed to sleep when the night comes knowing it can happen again?
Taehyung sighs, letting his pajama pants fall to the floor, followed by his underwear and he places
both on the laundry basket as well, stepping inside the shower, where he turns the water on in
hopes it can just relax his clearly tense muscles.
He closes his eyes once the warm water damps his hair even more, covering his face with his hands
for a long second. All he sees as his eyes close is Jungkook. Jungkook kissing his neck, Jungkook
unbuttoning his pants, Jungkook picking him up.
A whine. “Stop thinking about it.” he tells himself, looking up at the showerhead, the water hitting
him straight on, forcing him to close his eyes again. He doesn’t understand how Jungkook can be
so calm, so relaxed about it, how can he joke about such things, when he feels as though he wants
the ground to swallow him whole.
It’s so normal for Jungkook, so natural. Why isn’t it natural for him? Why isn’t he able to embrace
it instead of being so embarrassed of his own body mechanisms?
He almost feels tempted to do something once he remembers Jungkook’s shameless call over a
month ago, but the thought is gone as fast as it pops into his head and he switches the water into
the cold.
It’s terrible, it leaves him almost breathless to have the cold water running down his back, but it’s
the only thing he knows to work apart from actually acknowledging the issue as something natural.
And he’s not about to do that.
The cold water is terrible, he hates it, but he makes sure to stand under it for long enough only to
pop his head out of the shower when he hears a new text coming and he finds it odd at such an
hour.
An immediate smile takes over his face once he sees his boyfriend’s contact on the screen. It’s a
simple good morning text but it has a little black heart at the end, which makes him giggle.
Jungkook never uses emojis, he must be in a good mood.
He tries his hand on the hanging towel to be able to type something back, adding one too many
hearts at the end just to annoy his boyfriend and a new text soon comes. Nothing but a single dot.
He giggles again.
Taehyung chews on his bottom lip as he ponders on telling him about his dream, but he loses
courage when Jungkook sends a second text informing him that he’s about to shower. There’s a
perverted emoji at the end, a wicked smirk that Taehyung has to ignore in order not to get the
images back into his mind.
He only sends the one of a male with his arms crossed in an x form. Jungkook follows with a sad
frowny face.
He’s definitely in a good mood.
│►
Jimin hums around his spoonful of chocolate ice cream, letting out a rather loud sound of
contentment. Taehyung just giggles at it stuffing his own mouth with strawberry ice cream. “So
how are things with Jungkook? It’s been a few days since you made up but… are things awkward
now?” he asks, curious.
“I thought they’d be a bit awkward, actually, but no, it’s… completely back to normal, which I’m
so thankful for. We talked and we clarified everything and we’re just moving on together from
that.” a shrug. “He just really hates Minjae, which I do understand, but he’s also ok with me still
hanging out with him.”
“He’s way too nice. If Hoseok had someone after him like Minjae is, according to what you told
me, I can tell you I wouldn’t be ok with them hanging out.” Jimin points out with his spoon.
“Jungkook’s really nice.”
“He uh, he doesn’t… know…” Taehyung says as he scratches the back of his neck. “He doesn’t
really know that Minjae asked me on a date and all of that. I didn’t know how to bring it up. But
I’ll eventually tell him… once he sees himself out of there, I don’t want him to possibly go back to
creating terrible scenarios.”
“Yeah, that’s probably the best thing to do.” Jimin nods. “He’s almost out, anyways. What does he
have left, three weeks?”
“Yeah, roughly three weeks.” Taehyung smiles. “I miss him so much, I know I saw him the other
day and we talk, but it’s not the same as getting home to him and being able to sleep next to him,
wake up to him. I just… miss him.” he sighs.
“How are you dealing without him?” Jimin asks with a weird glint in his eyes as he takes another
spoonful to his mouth and Taehyung tilts his head. “Sexually, I mean.” he adds.
“Oh! I uh, I’m not doing anything…?”
“Really?” Jimin furrows his eyebrows. “What about him? Since he’s there and all.”
“He uh, one or two times, he uh— on a call…” he can feel his cheeks heating up. Talking about
those things with Jungkook is so much easier. “But I didn't do anything. To myself, that is. I just…
helped him, kind of. Not too explicitly.”
“But why didn’t you do anything?” his best friend asks, confused yet curious.
“Because I’ve never… done that.”
“Tae, honey, there’s going to be times in life, even with you guys together, that one will want it and
the other may not be in the mood, you have to do things for yourself sometimes.” Jimin explains,
gesturing as he waves his spoon around.
Taehyung feels himself blushing down to his neck.
Jimin goes on. “Do you never think of him that way?”
“I hate this conversation.” he runs a hand over his face. “I have thought of him that way ever since
he left, yes, but I just take a cold shower, it’s— sex is weird by itself and one thing is doing… stuff
with him, another completely different thing is just doing it to myself. It’s weird, I don’t understand
why people enjoy it… I feel weird without him there.”
“Did you feel like this with he who I shall not name?”
“No, it was terrible even with him.” Taehyung chuckles.
“He looks like he’s terrible in bed, Hobi and I commented that once when you two started dating.”
Jimin hums as he takes more ice cream to his mouth. Taehyung just blinks. What? “Anyways,
you’d think differently if you tried it, it’s not as good as with someone, I know, but it can be great
too… if you have the right items.”
“The right what?”
“Items.” Jimin smiles. “We should get you something.”
“I’m— I’m not following.” Taehyung shakes his head. “Do you mean…?” Jimin giggles.
“I have this vibrator I use when Hobi—”
“Oh my God, shut up.” Taehyung looks around, alarmed that someone may have heard. “I can’t
just— buy something like that!” he whisper yells.
“But you can!” Jimin giggles. “We really should get you something, oh my, this is going to be fun,
I know just the right store.”
“Jimin, I—” he stops to frown. “It’s weird.”
“You may hate it but trying is the only way you’ll know.” his best friend shrugs. “We can also not
buy anything if you really don’t want to, but it’s really useful when you’re in the mood and your
man isn’t or isn’t around.” he winks.
“Jungkook would never let me live that down.” he can just imagine the amount of teasing such
thing would get him. He knows his boyfriend too well to know he’d never shut up about it if he
knew.
“He doesn’t have to know.” Jimin puckers his lips.
“I— Fine, ok.” he gives in, not even believing that he’s agreeing to such a thing.
“This is going to be fun.”
│►
Taehyung picks two different pasta packages, comparing the both of them for a second before he
settles for the smaller one, given he’s only cooking for himself. He hums quietly as he pushes the
cart towards another isle.
“Haven’t seen you in a while.” he turns around at the familiar voice, blood cooling down. “I can
see you’re shopping for dinner, huh?” he comments. “How have you been doing, Taehyung?” the
man asks with a smile that looks nice. Way too nice.
Completely fake.
“I’ve been doing really good, thank you for asking. I’m dating, I’ve never been this happy.”
Taehyung says with a smile of his own, making sure to mark his words well. “What about you,
Hyungsik?” he almost spits out, watching as the fake smile drops from the other’s face.
“You’re what? You’re dating?” Hyungsik lets out a bitter chuckle. “Who the fuck would want to d
—”
“Yes, I am dating. I’m dating Jungkook, and don’t you even dare say anything bad about him. I’m
really happy, you know, I’ve been able to get over you because he’s fucking amazing, so don’t
even try to play your stupid games again to lure me back, they’re not going to work right now.
You’re the worst partner someone could ever get, my eyes have been opened, Hyungsik, I couldn’t
care less about whatever you have to say.” Taehyung lets out in almost just one inhale, his
breathing a little faster as he finishes.
Hyungsik’s jaw is set. He’s angry.
“How dare you talk to me like that?” he spits. “Have you forgotten your place, Taehyung?”
“My place?” he laughs, smile almost genuine. “You’re seriously out of your mind.”
The other takes a step closer. Taehyung doesn’t budge. “You innocent, stupid little thing.” he
shakes his head with a bitter smile. “You’re always going to be who you were with me, you’re
never not going to be a failure, a simple puppet. You really think anyone could actually care for
you? I’ve seen how you are, I know how you are, you’re insufferable, the only good thing about
you is your money and that’s all everyone will ever want. You’re—”
“Let me interrupt your little speech, if you don’t mind.” Taehyung holds a hand up. “I found
someone who doesn’t care for my money, who actually sees me for who I am, not who you
thought I was or who you shaped me to be, I’m able to be myself with him and you’re so, so
insignificant to me now that just listening to your voice is boring me.” he says with a chuckle. “I’m
not only cared for in my relationship, I’m loved, I’m respected, something you don’t know what is.
You’re going to end up miserable, Hyungsik, and God forgive me for this, but it’s exactly what you
deserve.” he shrugs. “Now that I’m done, I’ll be going.”
Hyungsik’s mouth is open in shock.
Taehyung offers him a smile.
“You know Jungkook will eventually leave you, right?” Taehyung laughs.
“Yes, yes, whatever you say.” he nods, wiping away some fake tears.
That seems to do nothing more than anger Hyungsik further. “You’re going to end up crawling
back to me, we both fucking know that.” the blonde snorts. “You’re laughing, how cute, you’re
just being delusional if you think that’s not what is going to happen.”
Taehyung opens his mouth to speak but he’s interrupted by a hand getting closer to him and he
does the last thing he’d ever expect himself to do. He pulls his arm back, putting all his strength on
the movement as it comes back, the back of his hand hitting Hyungsik across the face, head tilting
to the side with the force.
He’s shocked himself, eyes going wide.
There’s a red line of a scratch on Hyungsik’s cheek and Taehyung looks down at his hand, eyeing
the rings. Well. That must’ve hurt. He hates violence, he doesn’t know where that came from, but
he can’t say he regrets it. He doesn’t. At all.
Hyungsik takes a step closer to him and Taehyung steps back. “Don’t you dare touch me.”
Taehyung says through his teeth. “Don’t you ever talk to me again, just simply forget that I exist,
I’ve been working on doing the same with you.”
“Did you just slap me?” he asks, still trying to process it. He wasn't expecting that at all. Not from
Taehyung, that’s not the Taehyung he remembers.
“You know what, fuck off.” Taehyung chuckles, walking away. He doesn’t even store his cart,
doesn’t take anything either. He can just order take out. He feels bad for leaving it in the middle of
the isle, but he can’t bear to stare at Hyungsik any longer.
He giggles once he’s out of the store.
He really just did that.
│►
Jungkook taps his thigh, bored, waiting for Taehyung to pick up. “Happy one year!” he hears an
excited voice on the other side and he only blinks. One year?
“I’m pretty sure I’ve only been here for two months.”
Taehyung laughs. “No, babe, I got an email saying that my patient Jeon Jungkook was celebrating
a year since his first session so we’ve known each other for a year!” he can hear the smile in the
other’s tone and he hisses, knowing what’s already on its way.
“Baby, people don’t celebrate anniversaries of knowing each other.” he almost feels bad for saying
it.
“Who said that?”
“I don’t know, Jesus.” it’s silent until he hears a little sigh. “Are you sad?”
“I’m just happy that I’ve known you for that long… why can’t you be excited too?” Taehyung’s
pouting, he knows he is, so he makes a few sounds one would utter while celebrating, but they’re
so monotone they only get him a groan. “Literally why am I dating you— will you be like this
when we celebrate one year dating? Because I’ll break up with you.”
Jungkook just about wheezes. “Babe, you know I don’t remember dates...”
There’s a pregnant pause. “You— You don’t know when we started dating?” silence. Absolute
silence. “What the fuck, Jungkook?!” he asks with a cry.
“Don’t curse at me!” he defends himself. “You’ve put me in an uncomfortable position—” but
Taehyung interrupts him right away.
“You’re the last person I’d expect not to remember his own anniversary, this has to be the saddest
thing that has happened between us.” Taehyung sighs.
“I forget my own birthday.” Jungkook points out and he gets no answer. “Babe, I don’t even know
your birthday, how am I—”
“You’re making it so much worse!” Taehyung shrieks. “I can’t believe this— do you really not
know when we started dating? I’m about to cry my eyes out.” his voice is so much lower now,
clearly upset, and Jungkook tugs at his own hair.
“I wrote you the request on a paper to which you said no and broke my heart.” silence.
“When?”
“At Yoongi’s house.”
“Yes, but when was that?” again, silence. “Jungkook, what were we celebrating?”
“I don’t know! I was nervous, ok?”
“I can’t— When our anniversary comes and you ask for sex I’m going to go straight to bed.”
Taehyung threatens and Jungkook is pretty sure he’s not even joking. So he chuckles.
“Taehyungie, baby, how can I ask for sex on our anniversary if I don’t know when it is?” it’s a
simple question, put out nicely, that gets him to hear the line cutting. “Tae?” he pulls the phone
away, laughing as he gets the confirmation that Taehyung really has ended their call like that.
“I don’t know if you’ve dated before but I’ll teach you something as an older, wiser man.” Jihoon
starts, laying down with his book in hands. “Don’t ever fucking forget your anniversary, the one
time I did, my girl refused to talk to me for two days.”
“You’re not that wise if you think I don’t remember it.” Jungkook says with a shake of the head,
trying to get Taehyung to accept his call, but it keeps getting declined. “He’s not picking up, I’m
seriously going to kill him— oh, babe. Hey.”
“So now you want to kill me.” Taehyung huffs.
Jungkook laughs. “You’re so adorable when you try to be mad, you really think I’d forget our
date? New year’s, I know, dummy.” there’s a little gasp. “And your birthday is on the thirtieth of
December. I know. I even know your mom’s birthday.”
“You don’t.”
“I don’t, but I would if you had told me.” he smiles.
Taehyung scoffs. “I hate you.”
“No you don’t.” Jungkook chuckles.
“Yes I do.” he quickly says.
“No yo—”
“Jungkook, if you start doing that yes-no shit, I’ll break your fucking phone.” Jihoon threatens and
Taehyung laughs, able to hear it on the other side. He’s holding his book in a threatening position,
just a second away from flinging it at Jungkook’s head.
“No you won’t.” he tries not to laugh.
“Yes I w— fuck off.”
│►
“Uh, listen. Can I uh… tell you about something?” Taehyung starts as they finish talking about
Jungkook’s day. “I had… I had a really weird dream.” a gulp. “With you.” he adds.
“Oh, did you now?” Jungkook raises an amused eyebrow. “What was the dream about?”
“I-I’m not telling you!”
“C’mon, you brought it up, you’ve made me curious about it...” Jungkook chuckles.
“You’re going to tease me…” Taehyung mumbles, embarrassment filling him whole. He shouldn’t
have started it, he should’ve kept it to himself.
“I’m going to tease you even if you don’t tell me so just make this more entertaining for me.” he
grins. “You had a dirty dream, that’s normal, now tell me what it was about, I’m curious.” Jihoon
looks at him with a disappointed expression. Jungkook just shows him his middle finger, to which
he gets a glare for.
“I— It started innocent, actually, we were just— I was just dreaming about you for a while and uh,
we were buying some clothes and I was trying something—”
“Taehyung.” silence. “Did you have a dirty dream of us doing shit in public?” there’s a wheeze on
the other side but it’s not a laugh, it’s a long dragged whine that has him sitting up straight. “Baby,
please do go on, this is the best entertainment I’ve had since I arrived at this place, continue telling
me.”
“You can’t tease me for this! I was trying something on and you found— you thought it looked
good on me and— and as I was taking it off to change you just—” he stops to cry a bit more. “You
came in and we did stuff we shouldn't be doing in a changing room.” Taehyung says, his voice
thin, close to a cry. “And people could hear and I hate this— Jungkook, I’m so embarrassed, I’m
tearing up.”
And Jungkook’s lost it, laughing so hard there’s not a single sound coming out.
“Did I make you uncomfortable?” Taehyung asks after some seconds of silence. “Jungkookie,
please come back, why are you ignoring me?” he whines.
Jungkook does his best to collect himself, wiping away the single tear rolling down his cheek. “I
guess I should’ve seen this coming given you had your hand down my pants at the park.” he
watches his roommate get up with his book and leave the room without a single word. There’s a
little smile on his face so Jungkook doesn’t even worry about it.
“You— You promised not to bring that back!”
“I didn’t promise anything, love.” he corrects. “But Tae, there’s something there, this is a sign that
we must pick up.” Taehyung makes a confused sound. “Does the thought of people watching or
hearing what’s happening, turn you on?”
“Oh my God—” he chokes. “Why?”
“Because we never really had this conversation before and it’s important that we’re on the same
page, so if it does, I should know about it.” Taehyung takes a second to think it through.
“I— I don’t really want to do this over the phone… I’d be more comfortable if you were actually
next to me.” Jungkook has to refrain from cooing. “It just makes me feel more relaxed because I
can see you and… it’s different.”
“Then the conversation can wait, baby. Just please know it’s completely normal, you don’t have to
be embarrassed, ok? We don’t have to talk about it and we have all the time to even find your
kinks, but they’re natural, and you don’t have to be ashamed of them. Especially not with me, I
have my own, everyone has their own, it’s absolutely normal.”
Taehyung’s frown intensifies. Jungkook’s amazing.
“I love you.” he lets out, quietly.
Jungkook chuckles. “I love you too. You’re so adorable, honestly.” he sighs as he lays down,
facing the ceiling. “I miss you.” it’s a faint whisper but it’s so silent Taehyung is able to hear it
perfectly. “Can’t wait to get back home to you.”
“There’s only three weeks to go, you’re almost there. You’ve come so far, hyung, it’s amazing to
see you where you are right now. You’re sober, you’re almost out of there, it’s— makes me so
happy.” Jungkook chews on his bottom lip.
“Can you— Can you say it?”
Taehyung giggles. “I’m proud of you.”
Jungkook smiles. Taehyung’s proud of him.
│►
Chapter End Notes

Let's discuss
◄│ 84 │►
Chapter Notes
Jungkook pops only one eye open, immediately seeing Nira shake him by the shoulder. He glances
at his alarm, there’s still about twenty five minutes for it to go off, so he rolls over to face the other
side, back towards her. “Let me sleep.” he mumbles, bothered.
A few seconds go by before he hears his roommate groaning. “What do you want? Go to bed.”
Jihoon complains. “Lay here or something for all I care, stop shaking me.”
The hand appears on his shoulder again. “Oh my God, what’s up with you today?” Jungkook rolls
over again, glaring at her. Nira’s lips are curved down, sadness all over. “Uh, what’s wrong?” he
asks, still too sleepy to focus. “Come in.” he lifts the covers.
“No…! You get up.” she sighs. “It’s my last day here, I deserve to get breakfast while the bacon is
still crunchy.” Nira whines, poking him with her finger. “C’mon…!” again, she pokes him in the
ribs, making him flinch as it tickles.
“Alright, alright.” Jungkook sits up, rubbing his eyes. “Can I take a quick shower or…?” Nira
shakes her head. “Okay.” he nods. “Will you leave while I get dressed at least?”
“No, I know you’ll fall asleep, just go to the bathroom.” she instructs, eyes falling on Jihoon’s bed.
She just climbs onto his bed, jumping on the mattress. “Get the fuck up.” Jihoon makes absolutely
no move. “I’ll spit in your coffee if you don’t move now.”
“Thank you for warning me, I won’t drink coffee today.” Jungkook chuckles, Jihoon’s eyes still
closed. “Stop jumping, I swear to God—” Nira places her foot, only covered by her sock, against
his cheek. Jihoon sits up. “That’s it, out of the room, right now.”
Jungkook watches, amused, as Jihoon gets up and throws her over his shoulder, only to put her
down exactly one step ahead from the door, on the outside of the room. “Can you two just get
dressed? I can hear the bacon calling for me.”
“We will be going, just give us a minute.” Jihoon rubs his eyes before picking his clothes so that he
can head to the bathroom, leaving them alone. Jungkook lays back down, sighing quietly.
“I’m not sleeping.” he says before Nira can ask. “Just waiting for him to be done so that I can go.”
he opens his eyes, only to see her sitting on the floor, legs folded, just waiting for the both of them.
“How are you feeling?” Jungkook asks.
“Weird.” she admits with a sigh. “But I don’t want to be sad so let’s not talk about feelings right
now or I’ll start crying.” Nira tries to smile, though it doesn’t work all that well. “Just want to
spend the last hours with you guys and get my good, crunchy, delicious bacon.”
Jungkook half smiles, pulling his shirt off to change it to the one he will be wearing during the day
after he sprays a reasonable amount of deodorant. He picks his sweatpants and new underwear
from his shelves, waiting for Jihoon to leave the bathroom so that he can quickly change into them.
Nira almost jogs, walking way faster ahead of them and Jungkook can hear Jihoon mumbling how
it’s too early to be running like that. “Try to be nice today.” Jungkook nudges him with his elbow.
“If you upset her I’ll suffocate you in your sleep.” he threatens, walking a little faster to meet her,
Jihoon following close behind.
They gather their breakfast separately before they sit down at their usual table, Jungkook holding
nothing but an apple and a knife. Nira’s tray is filled with food and it makes him almost sick just
from looking. The cafeteria is empty, they’re the only ones who have gotten out of bed so far, and
it’s so silent he feels almost awkward.
None of them says anything for a while, Jungkook simply focused on cutting his apple into smaller
pieces, when Jihoon sighs. “This place is going to be so quiet without you.” he says, eyes still on
the coffee he’s stirring. Nira stops mid chew, expression falling.
“You’ll— You’ll find someone else…” she tries.
“Yes, we’re both so sociable that’s really going to happen.” Jungkook says with a chuckle. “I’m
upset you’re leaving already but it’s a good sign. It’s a good thing.” he places his hand on her knee,
giving it a reassuring squeeze before he goes back to his apple.
“What are you going to do on the outside? Do you have where to go to?” Jihoon asks. “I surely
fucking hope I don’t see you returning to this place during the time I have left.”
“I have! I’ll go to my parents’ place… and see when I can go back to my classes.” she sighs.
“They’ll probably make me get a job and as much as I want to, I’m not someone who can deal with
work and studies at the same time.”
“Try to tell them that.” Jungkook shrugs. “You said your parents are nice, they may understand. If
they don’t then… I don’t know.” he props another piece of apple into his mouth, chewing on it
quietly.
“You’re crazy if you think I can have personal conversations with my parents.” she laughs. “I could
never tell them anything like that. I’ll just run away and live with one of you.”
“You’d have to sleep on the couch with the pets or on the floor, it’s a one bedroom apartment.”
Jungkook shrugs. If she ran away and found herself actually homeless, he wouldn’t think twice
before taking her in.
“Oh don’t worry, I can squeeze between you and Taehyung, I like the tight fit.” she smiles, grin so
huge it has him raising an eyebrow, hand stopping where it goes to cut another piece. “Or yeah, ok,
I can just crash at Jihoon’s.”
“I don't have a place.” Jihoon shakes his head.
“You what?” they ask in unison. “Are you serious?”
“Why do you think I keep coming back?” he sighs. “It’s a whole problem once I get out, my
parents don’t take me in and they pay for me to be here because they believe once I leave I’ll
finally behave but guess what, I leave and fuck it all up again since I have no support.” Jungkook
shares a concerned look with Nira, both surprised by the sudden revelation. Those are news.
“Well…” Nira starts. “You can stay at mine once you get out of here, if you’d like.”
“Shut up.”
“I’m serious.” she reassures. “You probably have terrible habits and my parents will most likely
hate the idea but we can make it happen.” Jihoon is visibly emotional and it makes them both be a
second away from actually shedding a tear. They rarely see his emotional side. Every time he
shows it, is really surprising. They never know how to react.
“Nira, I don’t— I don’t even know what to fucking say.” he gapes. “I can’t possibly ask you for
that, it’s too much, it’s— it’s too much.” Jungkook just glances between the both. He’d offer the
same if he had the space, but he doesn’t, so he can only watch and hope for it to work out for his
friend.
“You’re not asking, I’m offering.” she shrugs. “And you don’t have to say yes right now, I know
it’s a pretty big thing to decide so, seriously, just think about it. I’ll visit you two, and I’ll call, so
we’ll keep in touch.”
“We can both sleep between Jungkook and Taehyung.”
“Or you can both fuck off.”
│►
“My life really has come to figure out how to fold bras correctly.” Jihoon complains as he plops
himself on the floor. “Can’t I just fold it in half?”
“No, what a men thing to say. The straps should be secured so that it’s easier to put them into the
washer later when the ladies take them, be helpful.” she rolls her eyes. “If you want to keep a
girlfriend in the future, learn how to do laundry properly.”
“I’m pretty sure not everyone knows how to do the laundry.” he throws back. “Jungkook looks like
he can’t do laundry.” said male looks up from where he’s folding her shirts, raising an eyebrow.
“Who does the laundry at your place? You or Tae?”
“I really enjoy to do it, actually, but we both take care of it.” he shrugs. “How did you even get
engaged?” Jungkook chuckles at his annoyed expression. “You really got him, who spends the day
complaining, folding your underwear… beautiful.”
“I don’t complain much, I’m just too old for you two.” Jihoon defends himself. “Like this?” he
shows her, who gives him a thumbs up, zipping her personal bag. “Why couldn’t Jungkook fold
your damn—”
“Kook’s a taken man!” Nira says as a matter-of-factly.
“True.” Jungkook agrees, grabbing a new shirt. Jihoon just sighs, a little exaggerated, continuing
his task. They all fall silent, Jungkook humming a melody that keeps them focused, and they don’t
even notice when Nira just sits down on her bed, hands on her lap.
Jungkook’s sitting on her roommate’s bed, said roommate being nowhere to be found, probably
kicked out by her before they arrived, and Jihoon is still on the floor. She just watches them. A
cold, sad tear rolls down her cheek.
“What am I going to do without you guys…” she lets out in a soft cry, her whole face falling in a
deep frown. They both look up at her, gasping when they notice her tears, clothes forgotten,
already joining her in her bed.
“C’mon, don’t cry.” Jungkook raises his hand to wipe away her tears, Jihoon throwing an arm
around her. “If you make Jihoon start crying it will be a disaster.” she chuckles through her tears,
eyes on the floor.
“You’re the only friends I’ve had in a really long time… I’m going to miss you so much.” Nira
cries, allowing herself to be tucked into Jungkook’s chest. “I’m really scared of leaving.”
“Listen.” Jihoon starts. “You’re a smart, caring girl, you came here with a goal and you did what
you had to do, besides having been a really good friend to the both of us, you’re going to do great
on the outside, stop thinking otherwise.”
“You heard the man.” Jungkook nods.
“Can I just—” Nira grabs Jungkook’s head, kissing his forehead. She does the same thing with
Jihoon before sulking in her mattress. “I’m thankful I had you two here, I don’t know if I would’ve
been able to get through this on my own.” she sniffs. “ Can we— Can we just… stay here until I
have to go?”
“Of course we can.”
│►
Nira lets go of their hands as they reach the lobby at the entrance, Jihoon handing over her bag. She
looks down, frown deeply set into her features. She doesn’t like the situation at all even though
she’s been looking for the day she got out for weeks.
She doesn’t want to leave her friends behind and it takes them both long minutes to properly say
goodbye, Nira squished between them as they hug for the third time. “Right, I should— I should
get going…” she tries to smile. “Please accept my calls at night, you too, I know you fall asleep to
Tae so just call me for five minutes before calling him.”
“I shall.” he nods. “Come here…” they hug her once again, watching her pick up get bag and exit,
accompanied by a staff member after being handed her second little medal. The door is closed.
Nira’s on her way home, she won’t be there anymore.
“Now what?” Jihoon asks.
“I don’t know.” Jungkook scratches his neck, unsure.
“Uno is not as fun with just two players but…”
“We’ll be fine.” Jungkook chuckles, looking towards his roommate. “I’ll miss her, though.” a long
sigh.
“Yeah… she can be annoying at times but she’s really nice.” they turn on their heels, starting to
walk away back to their room. “When you leave too, this place is going to fucking suck.” Jihoon
mumbles and Jungkook furrows his brows, concerned. He didn't even think about that. Jihoon’s
going to be left on his own. Again.
“We’re going to visit you, dude. You’re moody as hell, but you’re our friend, we’ll visit. Nira and
I. We’ll come on every visitation day.” he assures, and he knows he’ll do all he can to stay true to
that promise.
“That’d be my first visit ever.” Jihoon says as if it’s nothing, walking a few steps ahead to try to
end the conversation but Jungkook jogs to keep up with him. “Don’t comment.”
“We’ll visit you, we’ll call, we’ll pick you up when you get out and you’ll go to Nira’s place one
you’re out, then we’ll keep you company. You got us now, alright? You're our friend.” Jungkook
reassures him, taking a hand to ruffle at his hair. Jihoon slaps his arm away with no force at all.
“Right, right, stop that.” Jungkook nudges him with his arm once he sees Jihoon’s smile.
“Should we get some cards?”
“Yep.”
│►
Jungkook walks up to the visitors room with a skip in his step, scanning the room as he searches
for the tuff of blonde hair he loves so much and he frowns when he doesn’t see it. Maybe
Taehyung’s late, he thinks, so he just picks a table to sit at as he waits
“Jungkook?” he hears, and so he lifts his head to see one of the staff members smiling down at
him. “Your visit is waiting for you in one of the gardens…” the man explains and he tilts his head,
confused. “The garden with the big pine tree in the center, we gave you two the more hidden one
so that you can enjoy your time together this afternoon.”
“Ok, thank you…” he says as he gets up, still confused, but he leaves after a quick bow, headed to
the garden the staff mentioned. He quite likes that garden, it’s surrounded by bushes, it’s quiet, no
one really goes there given it doesn’t have any benches it’s just grass, it’s a good place to think.
His feet stop once he sees Taehyung laying down on a blanket, eyes closed, hands resting on his
stomach. He has two baskets by his sides, and Jungkook’s captivated by the great amount of
snacks, mainly fruits, which Taehyung already knows to be his favorite thing, that are displayed
randomly on the blanket. A picnic? He doesn’t think he’s ever had one in his entire life.
Jungkook smiles to himself, walking quietly to his boyfriend, who still hasn’t noticed him, sitting
down beside him. He leans down to press a kiss to his forehead, watching as Taehyung’s eyes pop
open, a smile immediately appearing on his lips. “Hyung!” he says, sitting up, arms going around
his shoulders.
“Hey, beautiful.” Jungkook hums, pressing a sweet kiss to the side of his neck. “How in the hell
did they allow you to do this? Did you pull the crying card again?” Taehyung nods with a big
smile. “You’re seriously unbelievable.” he chuckles, already reaching for a grape. He loves fruits.
He reaches for another one.
“How did you come up with all of this?” Jungkook asks, looking at him with big, curious eyes,
reaching for the bowl of grapes instead, already taking two more to his mouth. Sue him, the fruit in
the facility never feel just as good as the ones from the outside.
“Well, I wanted to do something different, and I thought of what I could do given the
circumstances… I called asking if I could come with some stuff today and prepare a little picnic
and surprisingly, after five minutes of crying, they allowed me to.” Taehyung explains with a
giggle, eyes examining his boyfriend as he eats.
Jungkook’s cheeks are stuffed with grapes, what he knows to be one of his favorite things, and he
looks so cute it’s impossible for Taehyung not to kiss him. It’s a short lived peck but it has
Jungkook a little startled. “Oh—” he blinks. “Where did that come from?”
“You’re just— so cute. I love you so much, eat your food…!” Taehyung giggles, getting a grape to
push it to the other’s mouth, Jungkook almost choking on it. “I tried to get Moon but they didn’t
allow me to bring a dog, which is really upsetting, but at least I got to bring you some food.” he
explains, feeding him yet another grape, even if the bowl is on his hands and he can perfectly eat it
himself.
“I miss her a lot…” he quickly munches on his mouthful, swallowing it to be able to speak
properly. “I miss my bed, your cuddles, I miss Moon a lot, I even fucking miss Simba, who
would’ve thought I’d ever say that? It’s never going to happen again.”
“Why do you hate her so much?” Taehyung frowns.
“It’s a cat. She’s a cat. A feline. Anyone who likes cats, clearly has some kind of problem.” he
takes another grape, only then noticing Taehyung's glare. “No offense, of course. Never would I
dare insinuate your liking for cats is beyond fucking horrendous.”
“Just tell me the news before I start listing all the reasons as to why cats are so much better than
dogs.” Jungkook snorts, feeding Taehyung a strawberry.
“Baby, we both know there’s exactly zero reasons on that list. But anyways…! Nira left today, it
was really upsetting because we both really like her, but at least Jihoon and I got each other… I feel
bad because I leave in three weeks and he still has a month and some days to go. He will be here all
alone and that’s got to be fucked up after getting used to having friends around you..”
“Wasn’t he here already, though? How come you are leaving before him? I thought your package
was the longest…?” Taehyung asks with a tilt of the head.
“It’s his… I don’t know, third time here, he’s staying for five months this time… well, only has
one left now but— yeah, that’s why I’m leaving before him.” Jungkook says with a little sigh.
“Though nothing’s worse than the junky dude, I heard he’s been in and out for years because he
apparently makes good money with getting patients to sneak shit in through their visitors, it’s a
whole fucked up business he has going on the outside.”
“That’s— illegal, you should report him.”
“If there’s anything I learned in prison is not to snitch on people like him. I have reasons to want to
wake up in the morning so I don’t need a pillow over my head, thank you very much.” Taehyung
gapes. “Sorry, it’s a dark thing to just bring up, I don’t know why I said that.”
“No, no, it’s okay, just a little surprising, that’s all.” Taehyung reassures, making a grab for the
grapes to feed his boyfriend as a distraction to what he wants to say next. “I’m still not that used to
you just opening up so willingly.” he says, pushing exactly three grapes past Jungkook’s lips.
“Are you trying to stuff me?” Jungkook asks, making Taehyung chuckle. “And don’t worry, I’m
not used to it either, took me fucking ages to even open up to you, the person I trust the most, but I
think… I’ve worked on myself in the past months, especially since I arrived here and— I don’t
know, speaking is… a little easier. Doesn’t mean I can talk about my past with everyone or just
have a regular conversation about it but… I don’t know, I don’t know how to explain it.”
“I understand what you mean.” Taehyung reassures. “And it makes me really happy to hear this,
the major goal of everything, of your sessions with me, Namjoon, your stay in here, it’s all to help
you cope with— well, your own head, and the fact that it’s working makes me feel accomplished.”
he pushes Jungkook’s hair away from his forehead, making sure to thread his fingers through it.
It’s just so soft, he can’t not do it.
“If I’m being honest… makes me feel a bit proud of myself...” he says, looking down.
“Good, because you should be so proud of yourself hyung, I’m so proud of you.” Jungkook’s smile
is automatic. “Why do you love it so much when I say that? I say it all the time.”
“Because I’ve never heard it from anyone else. I don’t even want or need it now, anyways. Making
you proud is all I want to do.” he cups Taehyung’s cheek, his thumb caressing the soft skin. “And
I’ll never get tired of hearing you say that.”
“I’ll never get tired of saying it, either.” Taehyung whispers, leaning closer to peck him. “I love
you.” another peck. “I’m proud of you.” Jungkook smiles again. “So proud of you.”
│►
“Hey, babe, I want to tell you something.” he says, calling for the other’s attention. “I saw
Hyungsik the other da—”
“Did he hurt you?” Taehyung opens his mouth, but Jungkook is faster. “Did he hurt you? Tae, I
swear to God, if he even laid a single finger on you, I’ll—” he’s interrupted by a pair of hands
cupping his cheeks.
“Shut up and listen.” Taehyung giggles. Jungkook just pouts. “He told me a bunch of actual shit on
how I’d never change, how I’d always be the same person I was with him, how I’d come back to
him eventually because that was inevitable.”
Jungkook’s left eye twitches. “I’ll—” Taehyung presses a finger to is lips. “But can I just say I
fucking hate him so much, how the fuck are you so calm?”
“Because I’m getting to the good part. I slapped him so hard my ring cut his cheek a bit. I hate
violence but I felt so damn good. And the surprised expression he had just... I felt so good, hyung. I
know you hate violence just as much so please don’t be mad that I hurt someone but—” Jungkook
pecks him as a way to shut him up.
“You slapped him?” Taehyung nods. “That’s my fucking baby!” Jungkook lights up, pecking him
again. “You have any idea how many times I’ve wanted to do that? I really hope it bruises so that
he’s forced to remember that.” he chuckles. “Tell me more.”
“He said you’d eventually leave me.” Jungkook laughs. “He said I’d always be his puppet and
we’d end up separated with me going back to him. And I just left after that, felt really good, but I
couldn’t stop thinking about it when I got home. Would I really? Would that really ever happen?”
“You know I’ll start crying if you don’t hurry to go on, right?” Taehyung smiles then, kissing his
forehead in a slow, long kiss.
“I thought about it, but then I thought about you. I heard your voice. Now I’m seeing you, your
smile, the way you look so happy to see me— the way I’m so happy just to see you, and I just
knew that no matter what happens, I’d never go back to someone like him after having you. After
being able to see what love actually is. I love you… he’s absolutely wrong, I’d never regret this.”
Taehyung whispers the ending, threading his fingers through Jungkook's hair.
“So just to be sure, you’re happy with me, right?” Jungkook asks, puppy eyes back on him, his
frowny face looking way more adorable than he’d intend it to.
“Very.” he confirms.
“And you want to be with me?” Taehyung nods right away. “And you love me?”
“Babe, you’re the absolute love of my l—” he yelps as he’s tackled onto the floor, Jungkook
hugging him tight, holding himself above Taehyung. They settle for nothing but hugging, keeping
each other close, keeping each other there and Jungkook only pulls away when he hears a little
sniff by his ear.
“Oh no— Why are you crying?” Jungkook frowns.
“I’m just… so happy.” he whispers, relying on the hand combing his blonde hair back. Jungkook
remains silent, waiting for him to go on once he can see Taehyung’s not done. “I was this close to
marrying someone who didn’t deserve a second of my day, my life was a mess even when I
thought it was so stable and now— I thought I was happy but now? Hyung, you make me so
happy. You quite literally saved my life and here you are, looking at me like this and— and now I
know I deserve this, I deserve you… and I’m just so happy that you’re here with me. I’m so
happy.”
“You deserve everything good in the world, Tae.” Jungkook kisses his cheek repeatedly. “Makes
me so happy to see you finally knowing your worth, knowing how deserving you are.” he slowly
moves his kisses down to his lips. He chuckles. “I can’t believe I thought you wanted to break up
with me two weeks ago.”
“Shut up, I thought you wanted to break up with me, imagine how devastated I was.” Taehyung
pouts.
Jungkook laughs. “Why are we like this…?”
“We’re perfect, what do you mean?” Taehyung shakes his head with a smile, both of his hands
pushing Jungkook’s hair back and he keeps them there. He just can’t not touch Jungkook’s hair at
every chance given.
“We’re… laying down in a hidden part of the backyard of a rehabilitation center that I can't get out
of, that you had to cry to even get in, how is this perfect?”
“You’re here, so it’s perfect for me.”
Jungkook is silent for a second. “I’ll cry.”
Taehyung laughs, leaving his hair to circle his shoulders with his arms, pulling him down into an
even closer hug. “I love you.”
│►
Jungkook hums at the kisses being pressed to his jaw, further tilting his head so that Taehyung’s
lips can peacefully nip at his neck. “Baby—” he chuckles, mouth opening just the slightest in a
silent moan when Taehyung actually bites on the soft spot behind his ear.
He has to put a stop to it when he feels a hand crawling inside his shirt.
“No, stop, I’m in grey sweatpants, get away from me.” Jungkook pushes him away as he sits up,
trying not to relent as soon as he sees Taehyung’s puppy eyes.
“But I miss you…” the younger whines.
“Don’t doubt that I miss you too but I don’t want everyone in the dinner hall later knowing that
too.” Taehyung furrows his eyebrows, confused. “They may not see us here but they’ll see the
aftermath once I go back inside.”
“What aftermath?” he frowns. “Oh, you mean—?”
“Yeah, and I miss you so much it would be a fucking mess.” Taehyung’s cheeks go red right away.
“I don’t think there’s any solution to cum stains on grey sweats and I’m not going to get butt ass
naked here, if someone appears— it’s not happening.”
“But—” Taehyung looks away. “You know what, I’m embarrassed now, never mind.”
“No, baby, don’t pout.” Jungkook chuckles, amused, a hand cupping his cheek to face him
properly. Taehyung’s eyes refuse to meet his. “Tae, I’d go as far as eating your ass right here, right
now, but I’m in sweatpants, grey on top of it all, everyone would know what happened here.” he
tries to stay serious.
“I guess you’re right…” Taehyung mumbles.
And he can’t help it but to laugh. “Horny you is a delight but if someone walked in, we’d both be
fucked. Not in a good way.” Jungkook points out, tickling Taehyung’s side.
“I’m not horny!” he defends himself.
“You were a second away from taking my pants off in the middle of the garden.” Taehyung opens
his mouth to speak but he quickly closes it, turning around, his back facing his boyfriend,
embarrassment filling him whole. Jungkook chuckles. “We really should explore that liking of
yours once I leave this place.”
Taehyung can feel himself blushing even more.
“Babe.” nothing. Jungkook chuckles again. “Babe, c’mon, look at me.” he can hear Taehyung
mumbling something but he can’t really comprehend it. “I’m not making fun of you, I promise, just
come here, pretty please.” the blonde shakes his head.
Jungkook moves closer to be able to hug him from the back, his legs by Taehyung’s sides.
Jungkook kisses his shoulder. “Come cuddle me.” another shake of the head. He kisses his neck
instead. “Please.”
“No.” he says with a pout.
“Please.” Jungkook whispers behind his ear before kissing it as well. Taehyung twists in his arms
to be able to get an actual kiss but Jungkook doesn’t do as asked, even if he’s pouting his lips and
clearly asking for it. Taehyung whines.
Jungkook laughs quietly before cupping Taehyung’s jaw in order to kiss him. It’s not a great
position, Taehyung’s sitting between his legs, his neck turned in a weird angle for a kiss, but they
make it work. Taehyung doesn’t even waste a second before tilting his neck once Jungkook’s lips
find their place there.
He sucks on the skin a little harder than necessary, not pulling back not even when Taehyung lets
out a heavy exhale close to a low moan. He wants to leave a mark, as dark and deep as possible.
His hand rubs over Taehyung’s chest as he continues to suck on his skin, soon falling to his
abdomen, where he draws teasing, continuous circles.
He licks over the red spot, humming to himself. Hopefully Minjae will see it. He doesn’t even
understand why he hates the guy so much, but he really does.
Jungkook just nips behind his ear, not putting enough strength for it to bruise, but enough for
Taehyung to enjoy it, and when there’s an actual soft moan, he pulls back, dragging himself
towards the basket to take out a new grape for him to eat.
Taehyung gapes at him as he hands him a bottle of water. “Here, love, you’re thirsty today.” he
barely catches it in time when Taehyung chucks the water bottle back at him.
“I hope you choke.”
“I bet you do.” Taehyung goes red. “I’m not into that kind of choking on myself but I don’t
discriminate.” he shrugs his shoulders, laughing at the look on his boyfriend’s face.
“I’m never doing this with you again.” the blond mumbles, embarrassed.
“Apparently you can’t resist me so we’ll see how long that lasts.” Taehyung perks up, alarmed.
That wasn't a challenge, so he rushes to crawl his way back to Jungkook’s lap, even if he’s still
frowning and blushing. “See, I told you.” he smirks.
“You’re too cocky for your own good.”
Jungkook shrugs. “You still love me, though.” Taehyung kisses him to shut him up.
It’s a few minutes later that they find themselves cuddling on the blanket, Taehyung’s head lying
on Jungkook’s chest as he draws random shapes onto it over his shirt. It’s up enough for him to
usually be able to feel his necklace and he furrows his eyebrows once he doesn’t find it there. He
sits up.
Jungkook watches, confused, as Taehyung pulls his collar down a little bit. “Where’s your
necklace?” the blonde asks and he can feel his blood cooling down. Right. Now he can either lie
and save himself or be honest and risk Taehyung getting mad.
“I broke it.” he lets out before he can stop himself. Taehyung kisses his jaw.
“We’ll get it fixed then.” it’s all the younger says before he lays his head down but it doesn’t sit
right with Jungkook. He doesn’t want to lie him. Taehyung may get angry but it’s something he
did, something he regrets but that happened, and he should be man enough to deal with the
consequences.
“I broke it willingly.” Jungkook whispers. Taehyung just looks up, waiting for an explanation. “I
was just— I was really sad and hurt and fucking confused… and honestly mad, too, so I-I threw it
away but then I immediately went back to get it… I even cut my finger on the bushes form how
frantically I was pulling them… and that’s when I had whole the breakdown I told you about,
where I called the therapist mom and embarrassed myself.”
Taehyung pulls himself up. “I’m really sorry that you were feeling like that because of me…”
“It’s fine now, please don’t make that face.” Jungkook frowns, poking his cheek. “C’mon, please
smile instead.” Taehyung just grabs his hand, looking for any kind of cut on his fingers from the
twigs and, even if he doesn’t find any, he still kisses them softly. “Why are my fingers getting more
kisses than my lips?”
Taehyung looks up. “You didn’t hurt yourself on your lips, did you now?
“They’ve pouted a lot.” that seem to be enough explanation once Taehyung goes up to kiss him.
Multiple times. Short, but lingering. “Are you mad because of the necklace?” he asks, puppy eyes
coming back. “I didn’t think, I acted on impulse…”
Taehyung sighs. “I’m not mad, just upset that it got that far, that you got so bad, and that’s not your
fault, I just wish we would’ve talked and solved this before.” he reassures him.
“But the necklace is my fault. Entirely. You were sad too and didn’t break yours.”
“Actually…” Jungkook’s jaw falls in shock, pure panic, and disbelief behind his eyes. “I’m
kidding.” Taehyung says with a giggle.
“You—” Taehyung’s lips are back in his and he relaxes again, hands finding their place on
Taehyung’s hips. “I’m still sorry, I wasn't thinking.”
“It’s not your fault. I’m sorry too. We’ll get it fixed.” Jungkook frowns. “You’ll get wrinkles, don’t
frown.” Taehyung giggles again, pulling his eyebrows up a little. “We’ll get the necklace fixed, it’s
not a big deal, what matters is that you’re ok.”
“Are you sure?” he whispers. Taehyung nods. “Okay…”
“Now tell me, anything interesting today?” Taehyung kisses his chest over his shirt before laying
his head again, fingers back to drawing whatever patterns they come up with. Jihoon folding Nira’s
underwear come into his mind right away and he chuckles.
“Actually…”
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss
◄│ 85 │►
Chapter Notes
“How did you do that?” Minjae asks, following him.
“Just said it was a surprise.” Taehyung shrugs with a giggle. “You’re going to really like him, I
hope.” Minjae hums, trailing after the blonde as he leads him through the halls. He’s nervous even
if he suggested it himself, surprised when Taehyung accepted such request.
They’re both quiet on the way to the visitors room, Taehyung’s smile widening once he sees his
boyfriend chatting away with a staff member as he waits for him. The conversation at the front
desk to be able to get Minjae in despite not being on the list stole some minutes from them, so it’s
no surprise Jungkook’s already there.
And Minjae has no idea of what to expect, he has never seen any picture for reference, he didn’t
want to so he never asked, refusing to even care to look at the ones in Taehyung’s living room. He
guesses he figures who Jungkook is when a male looks their way and gets up with a smile just as
big as Taehyung’s.
“Hey baby.” said male greets and Minjae looks away as they kiss. Jungkook still offers to shake his
hand even though he has no idea of who he is. He looks between him and Taehyung, questioning.
Taehyung just gestures for them to take a seat first.
They settle for a smaller, square table, Minjae facing Jungkook while Taehyung sits on the side
between the both of them. “So, Minjae, this is my boyfriend.” he says, putting emphases on the last
word. He doesn’t miss the look Jungkook sends him or how his position turns more defensive
instead of relaxed.
“Hi, I’m M—”
“I know who you are.” Jungkook interrupts and Taehyung blinks. He has no idea of where the
conversation may go but when Minjae suggested the two met, he thought it could be a good idea.
The tone in Jungkook’s voice makes him start to think otherwise.
“Oh? Tae told you about me?” he asks.
“No, he just briefly mentioned your name.” Jungkook shrugs, appearing unbothered to anyone but
Taehyung knows him too well.
“He speaks about you. Sometimes.” Minjae sits back on his chair, seemingly relaxed and well
composed.
“That’s probably because I’m his boyfriend.” Taehyung scratches the back of his neck, realizing he
should probably set some order otherwise it may get out of hand. That’s the last thing he wants.
“Guys, let’s all calm down.” he says, his hand reaching for Jungkook’s knee under the table,
giving it a reassuring squeeze.
“We’re calm, baby.” Jungkook says, smiling.
“Yeah, you’re just almost attacking me.” Minjae tries to provoke him even further. Taehyung
doesn’t like it.
“Be happy that it’s just almost.” Jungkook’s smile doesn’t budge and Taehyung feels himself start
to sweat. That’s not how he imagined things to go. “So tell me, Minjae, what brings you here
uninvited?” his smile is still on, as fake as one can be.
“I suggested to Tae the other day that this could be a good idea, I wanted to see what I’m dealing
with. When he talks about you, I mean. Just wanted to meet you.” he smiles too.
“Meet his boyfriend?” Jungkook tilts his head, seeing right through him. He knows why Minjae is
there.
“His boyfriend in rehab, yes.” the way he spits the words with a judging glint behind his eyes has
Jungkook standing up right away, chair dragging on the floor and getting everyone else’s attention.
He looks angry, fists balling up at his sides.
Taehyung gets up too. “Wow, ok, no, relax, sit down.” he whispers, placing one hand on
Jungkook’s abdomen as if to keep him back. “I’m starting to think this was a terrible idea.”
Taehyung says as he looks at his friend, clearly disappointed.
Minjae clears his throat. “I think we can all agree this will only get worse.” he gets up, fixing his
suit that Taehyung isn’t even sure why he’s wearing in the first place. “Since it’s impossible to
have a civil conversation, I’m going to leave. I’ll call you later.”
Jungkook opens his mouth, only to have two fingers pressed against his lips. Taehyung waits until
Minjae is out of sight to speak. “What’s gotten into you?” he asks, tone soft but still confused, eyes
meeting Jungkook’s. He’s angry.
“Me?” the man frowns. “Why did you think bringing the man even our friends thought you’d be
moving on with to come and meet me while I’m here was a good idea?” Jungkook turns the
question around right away, the crease between his eyebrows getting deeper.
“What? Who the hell told you I was moving on?!”
“That doesn’t matter now, why did you bring him? He’s not on the list.” Taehyung sighs, taking
his fingers to the bridge of Jungkook’s nose, sliding them up until he soothes the frown away. It
takes him a few seconds to be able to do that.
“He said he’d like to meet you and I thought that could be a good idea because… you’re my
boyfriend and he’s been a rather good friend… it would be nice if you two got along, that’s the
only thing I was thinking of, the faint possibility of you two getting along.” he explains, using his
best puppy eyes to try to get the other to look less upset.
It doesn’t seem to work. “You can’t possibly ask me to be his friend.”
“Not his friend… just be friendly.” he pouts.
“I thought you were leaving me for him, Tae, you think I want to be around him? And the way he
fixed his suit all arrogant and shit, the way he talked to me as if he’s what, superior? Is it because
he’s got a diploma and I’m in rehab? I’ll beat his fucking ass with the dip—”
“No you won't, oh my God, you’re not violent, don’t say that!” Jungkook shakes his head, angry all
over again, tongue poking at one side of his cheek.
“He truly pissed me off.”

Jungkook frowns the whole walk to the garden as Taehyung leads him by the hand, Minjae’s
arrogant expression still vivid in his mind. “I’m sorry.” the blonde says when they come to a stop
but he looks away, so Taehyung places a hand on his cheek to make Jungkook face him. “I’m
really sorry, babe.” he repeats in a soft whisper.
“Don’t apologize, I’m not mad. Not at you, at least.” Jungkook reassures.
“I only accepted his idea to come because I— I wanted him to see you. To really see you, know the
amazing guy you are, because I don’t like the way he behaves sometimes, and I wanted him to
just… be able to see what I see. If you were able to be friendly then that’d be even better but… that
didn’t really go well.” Taehyung explains, his hands fiddling with the hem of Jungkook’s shirt.
“Not my fault. He started.”
“You didn’t even let him finish his name…” Taehyung pouts further, hand tugging at his shirt.
“Tae, he was basically the reason as to why I felt so insecure and lost for a whole month, I thought
I was losing you for him, I don’t want him around me, I’m sorry. You can be friends with him all
you want, but I’ll never be. Not even friendly. I don’t even want to see his face again.” Taehyung
takes a hand to his hair once his voice starts sounding a little worked up.
“That’s ok, it was an experiment, it didn’t go well and you hate him, so we’ll just… never do this
again.” he smiles, kissing the bridge of Jungkook’s nose. “Please don’t think I did this with any bad
intention or just to piss you off…”
“I know you didn’t and that’s why I’m sorry for reacting the way I did, but I already knew I didn’t
like him, now I’m sure I hate him.” Jungkook sighs, his arms going around Taehyung’s middle.
Taehyung immediately embraces him as well.
“Don’t worry, babe.” he whispers. “You come before him, any day, any time. You’re my priority,
he’s just my friend, you’re my boyfriend.”
They stay quiet for a few seconds, just hugging each other, before Jungkook chuckles. “I was really
close to banging his head on the table.” Taehyung giggles.
“I could tell, I’ve never seen you look at anyone like that.” Jungkook hums, hugging him closer.
Their bodies sway just slightly, holding each other tight, Taehyung’s hand playing with the hair on
the back of Jungkook’s head.
Jungkook feels like he could fall asleep like that.
“This actually went better than what I pictured the worst case scenario to be. I thought you’d
actually lose it with him, even though I know you’re not like that, I still couldn’t help but to
imagine that happening.” he says after a few seconds of silence, pulling away to sit himself down
on the grass. He pats the spot next to him for Jungkook to take. He does.
“What matters is that I didn’t break his nose on the table.” Jungkook smiles. “Just don’t make me
have to ever hang out with him again.” Taehyung giggles.
“I promise I won’t.”
“Good. Now, can I get my kisses or…?” he tilts his head, resting back on his outstretched arms.
“It’s been a week without them, I’m deprived.”
Taehyung rolls his eyes playfully. “On their way.”

│►
Jihoon slides on his seat quietly, holding his tray. Jungkook’s already enjoying his dinner, both of
them quiet for a while before Jihoon clears his throat. “You’re getting out in two days.” he
comments. “How… How are you feeling?”
Jungkook takes a second. “Scared.” he admits.
“Why scared?” Jihoon asks, curious, as he takes some bread to his mouth after dipping it on the
sauce on his tray. “You should be ecstatic, why are you scared?”
“Don’t get me wrong, I am thrilled that I’m going back to my apartment, to my friends, to my dog,
to Tae… but I’m scared of how it will be to fight alcohol then. Because I know I can just go to a
store and get it, and I have no idea how my head will deal with that once I’m out.” Jungkook tries
to explain with a sigh. “I’m scared of not being able to go back to college, scared of having lost my
job, there’s just— a lot of shit worrying me about getting out of here.”
“I can’t do much other than telling you I believe you’ll be fine. You pay to go to college so if you
got in the first time, it’s not like you suddenly won’t be able to continue now. If you lost your job
then just find another one, you’re fucking sober, man, you should be happy.” Jungkook lets the
words sink in before he smiles.
“You know, I never in my life thought I’d be sober again, this is so fucking— unreal.” he sighs,
dreamy. “I’ve never been sober ever since I started drinking and I was eighteen, so it’s been a long
while.” Jungkook chuckles. He’s happy. So happy.
“I’ve been sober three times and always went back to it… just hope this time it’s for good.” a sigh.
“I finally reached a decision with Nira, so I’ll be staying at hers so I may get a hold of myself once
I’m out. We can only hope, isn’t that right?”
“You and Nira are like the best of the buds now, talk almost as much as Tae and I on the phone.”
Jungkook jokes but his smile falls when his roommate looks away, just stuffing his mouth with
more bread. “Shut the fuck up, seriously?!”
“Shut up, eat your dinner.” Jihoon pays no mind.
“No, please tell me.” Jungkook sits sideways to be able to face him properly.
“There’s nothing to tell you, eat your dinner.” but Jungkook doesn’t look away and Jihoon sighs,
exaggerated when their eyes meet. “You can’t tell her.” Jungkook smiles, excited.
“Shit, I won’t.”
│►
“Is this yours?” Jimin asks, raising a button up shirt with a flowery pattern throughout. “I’m pretty
sure it is, but just confirming.” Taehyung lifts his eyes from where he’s gathering his socks and
underwear.
“Yeah, that’s mine.” his best friend nods, folding it in half before putting it inside a cardboard box.
They stay quiet for a while, Jimin folding Taehyung’s shirts to put all of them in similar boxes,
Taehyung doing the same with his underwear.
He stops when he takes from one of the drawers the first collar Simba ever had, the word ‘rat’
engraved on it as if it were her actual name and he chuckles quietly. He remembers Jungkook
offering him that with the little money he had back then, and it meant so much, even if it should be
offensive. Not that Jungkook meant it in a bad way, anyways.
Simba wore it for a while before it stopped fitting her neck. He didn’t trash it, though, he kept it
neatly in one of his drawers next to the bed. So he puts it inside the box to his right, filled with
random things.
“Is this yours?” Jimin asks yet again as he holds a black sweater he just took from Taehyung’s side
of the wardrobe. He doesn’t own sweaters at all so it’s not hard to identify that as his boyfriend’s.
“That’s Jungkook’s.” Jimin nods, putting it back in Jungkook’s side of the wardrobe.
The picture frame on his bedside table makes him stop again. Jungkook’s arms are around his
shoulders from the back, hands lazily on his chest. Taehyung’s holding a coffee mug, both smiling,
looking ahead.
He remembers being sent the picture, Hoseok had taken it without them even knowing, and they
both looked so happy he just had to frame it. It’s been there ever since. He puts it on the same box
as the collar.
“I’ll go.” Jimin informs once the doorbell rings, Moon already running out of the bedroom after
Jimin and Taehyung gets up only to go to Jungkook’s nightstand instead to look for anything that
may be his but that was wrongly stores there. He’s positively confused when he opens the first
drawer.
There’s a bunch of his rings there, rings that he hasn’t even worn in months, so he couldn’t
possibly have put them there himself. He wonders why. He’s never really noticed Jungkook
wearing his rings but he must have simply missed it.
Upsetting. Jungkook doesn’t wear rings much but when he does, Taehyung thinks it compliments
him so well. He has to pay more attention to that, maybe even ask Jungkook if he’d like to get
some new rings for himself. Taehyung would enjoy shopping for them.
He takes a look at his own hands, the ones adoring his fingers are a different style to what
Jungkook usually wears, Jungkook prefers simple, silver ones, whereas Taehyung likes to try new
ones, big in shape, multiple colors. But still, he could pull off anything, so Taehyung’s sure the
exact set he’s wearing would look so much better on Jungkook.
“Taehyungie! Pizza’s here!” Jimin yells from the living room and Taehyung puts the rings in the
jewelry box instead of giving it another thought. He takes a mental note to find Jungkook some
pretty rings but, for now, pizza is more important.
│►
Taehyung halts once he hears his phone ringing and he quickly makes a grab for it, already sliding
his thumb across the screen to take the call. “Hi, love.”
“Hey, baby.” Taehyung says with a smile. “You called earlier today, I’m still out with Moon, did
you not talk to Nira tonight?” he asks, curious.
“Jihoon’s talking to her about the whole moving in situation and I’d rather not talk to her than
waiting for them to be done and call you after.” Jungkook explains. “So, did you do anything after
leaving?”
“I met with Jiminie and he came over and we— uh, we watched some movies and just got some
pizza delivered.” Jungkook rests back against the wall, humming occasionally as Taehyung speaks
about his afternoon with Jimin up until leaving with Moon. “Babe, give me a second… hey, how
are you?”
He hears a male voice in the back but he’s unable to identify it from how far away it sounds, but he
doesn’t try to snoop either, so he just leans back, waiting for Taehyung to be done. He furrows his
eyebrows when the male in the back just about screams.
He’s not screaming at Taehyung, thankfully, he’s screaming in what sounds like pain. “Koo, I have
to end the call, I’ll call you in a minute, ok?”
“What— Why? What’s happening?” he asks, frowning.
“Moon just bit Minjae.” Jihoon jumps in place from where he sits in bed when Jungkook laughs, so
loud and out of nowhere it’s basically a long wheeze. “Are you laughing?! She shouldn’t bite
people!”
“It’s Minjae, I don’t give a fuck.”
“He’s people.” Taehyung whisper yells.
“Please give her a treat when you get home and tell her she’s a good girl, actually, put me on
speaker.” Jungkook says between laughs and he can hear his boyfriend gaping, unsure of what to
even say.
“Oh my God, just wait a minute.” the sounds that follow make him believe he’s been put inside
Taehyung’s pocket. “I’m really sorry, Jae, she’s not usually like that, I wouldn’t have let you pet
her if I thought she’d bite.”
“It’s— It’s fine.” Jungkook hears. “I was going to offer to walk you home because it’s dangerous
around here but I see you have enough protection.” if Jungkook celebrates, he’s not vocal about it.
“Oh, yeah, no need, I have Moon and I’m talking to Jungkookie either way, so I wouldn’t have said
yes.” again, if he celebrates, he’s quiet doing so.
He can hear them bidding their goodbyes before there’s the same sound again and he realizes
Taehyung’s getting his phone. Jungkook chuckles.
“She never bit anyone, how can you laugh?” Taehyung asks, but he doesn’t sound angry, he simply
sounds extremely confused, surprised even.
“She can smell his bad intentions, trust me on this, Taehyungie, dogs can smell it. They know what
we don’t, they see what we don’t see.” Jungkook tries to speak as seriously as he can but he ends
up snorting.
“He was just saying hello!” Taehyung defends.
“He wanted to walk you home.” Jungkook replies.
“Babe… stop acting mean, you’re not mean at all, your dog just hurt someone…” Taehyung tries
to reason and Jungkook sighs. Loud and exaggerated.
“Was he bleeding?” Taehyung denies. “Did she let go quickly?” a hum. “Then he’s being a little
bitch about it, it was probably a playful nip.” then he starts laughing. “She nipped him and he
nearly cried, don’t worry.”
“Would you’ve laughed if it was me?”
“Of course not, you’re my boyfriend. But, I wouldn’t take it seriously either if it was just a playful
nip. You know how she chews on our hands when she want to play? If he wasn’t bleeding and she
released immediately, she was playing, dude probably never had a dog before… or is used to those
things, what are they called, chihuahuas.”
“Don’t underestimate chihuahuas, they’re feral.”
“But don’t worry about it, baby, if he didn’t bleed and she wasn’t aggressive about it, it wasn’t an
attack, she was playing. I know my dog. Don’t worry about it.” Jungkook says, more serious now.
“Okay…”
“If she did bite then she’s telling you to avoid him, given she has never bitten anyone. Listen to
Moon. Want to know a fun fact?” Jungkook asks. “The only person she’s ever bitten before was a
guy that was planning on robbing me. Poor guy but being bitten by a dog saved him from the
disappointment of taking my empty wallet. She only bit a bad dude, so if she bit Minjae, just
connect the dots.”
“So was Minjae trying to take my wallet?” he asks.
“No, he wants to take something else.” silence. “My place.” Taehyung just hums in
acknowledgment. “You didn’t deny it— what the fuck is going on? Are you not telling me
something?” again, silence. “Taehyung.”
“He asked me on a date before, please don’t be upset, I was waiting for you to be out of there to tell
you, I didn’t want you to worry.” Taehyung rushes to explain before Jungkook can even try to
interrupt him. “I said no, obviously.” Jungkook laughs. “Babe.”
“You said he’s always known we’re together and he’s still pushing it, that’s so fucking sad, almost
makes me feel bad for him.” Taehyung rolls his eyes with a little smile, crossing the road in a jog,
Moon happily following.
“I’m not going on a date with him, anyways.”
“Moon isn’t going to let that happen.” Jungkook jokes and Taehyung finds himself giggling at the
whole ordeal.
“I can’t believe she really got him close to tears… quite funny now that I think of it, I don’t think
she even bit him that hard.” he says as he looks down at the dog. She walks with her tongue out,
clearly unbothered.
“Now that I know he’s really interested, I’m guessing he was just playing the victim card, he
wanted you to kiss his injuries or some shit. Don’t engage, he’s just a bitch.” Taehyung almost
chokes at the last words.
“Stop calling him that!”
“He’s a bitch.” Jungkook shrugs. “Did he make any moves on you? And be honest with me.”
Taehyung scratches the back of his neck.
“Not… directly, he just insinuated some stuff.” he tries.
“He asked you on a damn date—” Taehyung interrupts.

“I think that’s kind of irrelevant when he hinted I should be his kid’s second dad— wait, no, never
mind. Babe, forget it.” he tries to shut it down. “Never mind.”
“Never mind? Are you crazy? He asked you to what in the motherfuc—” Jungkook stops to inhale.
“The only kids you’ll be a parent of are ours, please tell me you told him that.” he sounds as heated
as he feels, position no longer relaxed, his finger poking at his mattress repeatedly and he ignores
his roommate’s eyes.
“Uh, babe, we—”
“I can’t believe he said that, that’s so fucking creepy. I really hate him, what the hell, I don’t hate
anyone — I mean, Hyungsik too, of course — but this actual idiot, who the fuck does he think he
is?!” Taehyung frowns. He doesn’t want Jungkook upset.
“Don’t worry, I put him in his place.” he assures.
“What did you say?” Jungkook asks, curious.
“You just want to hear me explaining the different ways I told him I love you.” he giggles as
Jungkook confirms without a second of hesitation. “I told him all about you, how I’m really happy
with you and how I love you so much and am zero interested in anyone else, and definitely not
him, who makes such comments.”
“Wow, so you rejected Minjae and slapped he who shall not be named again on the same week,
you’re on fire, aren’t you?” Jungkook teases. Taehyung groans an indication for him to shut up.
“Can’t I be proud?”
“This isn’t pride, this is cockiness because you know you’re the only man I care for.” he points
out, hearing his boyfriend’s chuckle on the other side.
“The only man you love, please correct yourself.” Taehyung is quick to deny such request. “So you
don’t love me?” Jungkook asks with the saddest tone he can pull out and Taehyung frowns at the
pouts he can hear in his voice.
“I know what you’re doing and I hate this.” he stops in his steps as Moon finds another tree to pee
next to.
“You hate this, as in me? You hate me?” he has to force himself not to laugh at Jungkook’s antics.
He knows way too well what he’s doing.
“Oh my God, fine, I love you!” Taehyung lets out.
“You could’ve said it nicely…”
Taehyung sighs. “I can hear you pouting and I hate you for that.” silence. “I love you a lot,
Jungkook.” he says, almost monotone, but Jungkook knows he means it, so it only makes him
chuckle. Teasing Taehyung has got to be his favorite thing to do.
“I love you too.”
│►
Chapter End Notes
Minjae’s visit, Taehyung packing... let’s discuss...

◄│ 86 │►
Chapter Notes
“Are you sure you’ve got everything?” Jihoon asks, sitting down on his bed. “Don’t forget Tae’s
shirt between the clothes you used here.” he says.
“It’s in my bag already.” Jungkook states as he zips it. He’s already wearing his own clothes,
waiting for the right time to leave the facility. Three o’clock, they said. He has about ten minutes
until then.
He sits down on his bed, playing with the rings he was handed back alongside his clothes. They’re
both silent for a while, Jihoon thinking of how to even start. “I’ll miss you, dude.” he eventually
says. “I’ll honestly really miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too.” Jungkook sighs. “You only have around three weeks, you’ll be fine…” Jihoon
chews on the inside of his cheek, looking down at his lap. “I’ll visit you and I’ll call, seriously,
we’ll keep in touch, don’t think you’ll be on your own now that I’m leaving.”
“It’s just fucked up, I’ve grown used to you and Nira around me and now you’ll both be gone.” he
sighs. “But it’s fine, it’s— fine, just keep in touch, alright? Now we should get going, it’s time for
you to finally leave this place.” Jihoon says as he gets up.
“I can’t fucking wait to see everyone — I just want to be able to leave and go have a coffee
whenever I want, wherever I want.” Jungkook smiles, picking his bag up, his painting under his
arm. It’s covered by a cloth so that it’s not visible. “I miss the outside.”
“You’re telling me.” Jungkook frowns, almost feeling bad for preaching so much about leaving
when Jihoon’s been there for longer and can’t get out yet. “Hurry up, c’mon.” his roommate still
calls with a chuckle.
He’s surprised when Jihoon hugs him, patting his back multiple times as they reach the entrance.
“You did amazing here, Kook, don’t fuck it up on the outside. If I see you coming back, I’ll beat
you up.”
“I won’t.” Jungkook says, certain. “Thank you for sticking with me, especially in the beginning,
you’ve helped me a lot.” he says, his arms still around Jihoon’s shoulders.
“Alright, alright, that’s enough of emotional talk.” Jihoon pulls back, breaking the hug, a little
awkward. “You should go now, your boyfriend’s waiting.” he scratches the back of his neck.
“Keep in touch.”
“I will, man.” Jungkook bows as he steps back, a staff member approaching him to lead him out.
He had to sign a whole bunch of papers in the morning, but they gave him his last little medal. It
makes him feel accomplished, proud of himself. That’s not something he’s experienced a lot.
“I hope I never see you again.” the staff members says with a smile once they reach the gate and
Jungkook laughs, nodding multiple times.
“I hope I don’t see you either.” he gets a pat in the back, enough indicator that he can leave, he can
walk out, and he can’t really believe it. He feels almost weird as he steps outside, the gate closing
behind him.
And he looks around, looking for Taehyung’s car, but he sees Yoongi’s instead, his best friend
leaning against it. He smiles, Yoongi already walking towards him with his arms open. “Come
here.” he sounds emotional, Jungkook notices right away. He’s just as emotional.
He drops his bag to be able to hug him, Yoongi patting his back the same way Jihoon did just
minutes prior. “Where’s Tae?” he asks once they step away, Yoongi helping him put the covered
painting and his bag inside the car. “I thought he’d be the one to come.”
“Oh, he got caught up with something and asked me if I could come get you. But he’s already
waiting for you, he just wouldn’t be able to get here on time.” Yoongi explains way he goes around
the car.
“Okay, that’s fine.” Jungkook nods, getting inside to the passenger seat. “It feels so fucking weird
to be here, I haven’t seen a damn car in three months.” he says as he looks around the vehicle,
chuckling at himself.
“I can’t even imagine.” Yoongi agrees. “How was your last day?” he asks to make conversation,
already starting to drive away from the facility.
“I was free for a while and I just hung out with Jihoon but then they called me to sign a bunch of
shit and to ask me if I was ready to be out or if I thought I needed to extend my stay. They gave me
my third medal, too, and then I just spent the rest of the time with Jihoon.” a shrug. “He’s a really
nice guy, I’m sure you’ll get along once he gets out too.”
“You plan on still being friends?”
“Definitely.” Jungkook nods. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too.” Yoongi smiles, patting his thigh twice. “Now you have to… be careful, you
know that, right? If you feel tempted to do anything, talk to one of us, you really can’t let yourself
fall back into the hole.” he says, softer. “We’ll all be here for you.”
“I know, thank you.” Jungkook chews on the inside of his cheek. “I have no plans on drinking ever
again so, please, don’t worry… I won’t do it, I promise. If I even feel the will to, I’ll for sure tell
someone.” he assures. “I can’t go back to the life I lived, I’ll never go back to it.”
“You won’t, I’m sure you won’t.” he nods quietly, turning the radio on to keep them company. The
rest of the ride is rather peaceful, the both of them engaging in multiple conversation topics,
Jungkook telling him about all the rehab stories he didn’t before.
It’s only half an hour later that he realizes they’re getting further and further away from the
direction they should be going to get to his apartment. “Where are we going?” he asks, looking out
of the window.
“Tae actually rented a place for today so that we could celebrate you getting out… it’s a little get
together, they’re all waiting for you there.” Yoongi confesses. “That’s why I’m the one picking
you up, he went to get some more snacks.”
“A get together?” Yoongi nods. “Alright, that can be nice, I miss being around everyone, so thanks
for preparing it.” he smiles. “What did he rent?”
“Oh, it’s an apartment. It’s in a complex they allow you to rent for a short amount of time for
parties or for when you come on vacation and will only stay for a few days.” Yoongi explains,
gesturing with his hand.
“Ah, I see.” Jungkook nods, looking out the window. They drive for about ten more minutes,
chatting about the most random topics possible, when they stop in front of a big white gate.
There’s a lady behind a glass, to who Yoongi hands his identification card and Jungkook taps his
own thigh as he waits for whatever confirmation there may be needed for them to go in. A gated
community? Jungkook is baffled.
“This is way too fancy for a get together, Tae’s crazy.” Jungkook comments with a chuckle. “I
love him.”
│►
Jungkook tries not to stare too much at everything. The elevator ride is quiet, both leaning against
the mirrored walls as they wait to get to the second to last floor, the button Yoongi pressed.
“There’s cake, by the way.”
“Chocolate?” Yoongi nods. “Seems like this won’t be so bad.” he jokes as they step out of the
elevator, the hall so spacious Jungkook is left gaping. It's probably the size of his living room.
There’s a pair of arms around his shoulders as soon as the door is open as he stumbles back,
surprised, but he quickly steadies himself, hugging his boyfriend back just as tight. He lifts
Taehyung up, unable to contain his happiness. Taehyung giggles as he’s twirled around.
“Put me down…!” he says with a giggle, hands squishing Jungkook’s cheeks when his feet are
back on the floor, greeting him with a kiss. “How do you—” another kiss. “—feel?” Yoongi takes
that as a cue to go inside, third wheeling not really being his thing.
“I just want cake.” he says with a smile and Taehyung rolls his eyes playfully, fingers threading
through Jungkook’s hair. “Thank you for preparing this, seriously, you’re too much.” Jungkook
whispers against his lips, joining them again. “I love you.”
“I can’t believe you’re back.” Taehyung shrieks as he pinches his cheek. “But let’s go in.” he
searches for Jungkook’s hand to lead him. “I hope you don’t mind that I invited Minj— oh—” he
yelps as he’s pulled back by the grip on his hand, Jungkook’s eyebrows almost together from how
hard he frowns. “I’m joking!” Taehyung giggles.
Jungkook doesn’t even get to say anything, once he’s pulled inside the apartment. The entrance is
almost as big as his bedroom, he can’t help it but to look everywhere, though his focus is shifts to
his friends once they reach the living room. He’s surprised to see Nira there, even more surprised
to see Yunseok.
His friends are there, Taehyung’s friends are there, everyone seems to be there, and he can’t say it
doesn’t warm his heart a lot.
Everyone’s talking at the same time, his hand is pulled away from Taehyung’s once Eunjae jumps
on him, him having to actually catch her. He hasn’t seen his coworker in over a month. “Dude,
you’re fucking back.” she says right on his ear before Jungkook puts her back down on the floor.
They all take their time congratulating him, everyone hugs him, some for longer than others, Nira
is already lost at the table where all the snacks are, dragging her finger over the chocolate frosting
on top of the cake in hopes no one will notice.
“So where are the cocktails?” Yunseok asks as he looks for a drink to serve himself and everyone
goes quiet, Jungkook turning towards him from where’s he’s chatting with Namjoon. “It’s a joke!”
he bends down to dodge the slap Eunjae tries to deliver to the back of his head. “You guys really
have no sense of humor…” he mumbles, going back to filling his cup.
“Can I steal him for a minute…?” Nira peeps as all the guests go back to chatting, a hand pulling
Jungkook by the forearm. Namjoon just smiles and bows, heading for the food. “Kook, that pretty
friend of yours keeps looking at me.”
“What pretty friend of mine?” she gestures with her head towards Eunjae and he chuckles. “That’s
Eunjae, it’s the one I told you about.” he explains. “Do you want me to introduce you two or…?”
Jungkook knows for a fact Jihoon would slap him right then and there and he regrets his words
immediately.
“I’d say yes but… I may be interested in uh, someone.” she says, looking down at her hands and
Jungkook’s mouth falls open in shock. He gets it right away and he can’t believe he actually
witnessed the whole thing happening. He never thought they’d turn out like that.
“I can’t believe I’ve been third wheeling this whole time.” Nira looks up with her cheeks flaring
red, surprised. “I know you’re talking about Jihoon, you two have been chatting nonstop, it’s quite
obvious.”
“Shut up…! He doesn’t know, alright.” she frowns.
“He’s going to live with you… oh my God, this is going to be so exciting.” Jungkook laughs, a
little high pitched, entertained.
“You're… not upset?”
Jungkook puts an arm around her shoulders, her hand settling on his back. “Of course I’m not
upset, I just want you two happy so you have my full support at trying to secure the bag.” he
explains with a chuckle. “And he said you’re hot.”
“Wait, what— he said what— when? What was the context? What were the exact words he used?
Can you— come back!” she grabs his shirt when he tries to walk away. “Jungkook you can’t just
do that to me and then walk away!”
“In fact, I can. And I will.” he smiles. “I have to find my boyfriend, but please, enjoy the food, I
know you love to eat.” Jungkook slaps her hand after multiple useless attempts at pulling his shirt
from her grip. “Let go!”
“I shall not unless you tell me.”
“I’m going to scream and tell everyone you’re attacking me.” she holds eye contact, challenging,
and so does he. She eventually lets go with a huff when he opens his mouth, ready to do as said.
“Thank you.” he smiles.
“You suck.” Nira points out, weakly punching his arm.
“I probably will tonight.” it takes her a second.
“Dude—”
│►
Taehyung returns to the living room after walking Jimin and Hoseok out, the last ones still at the
get together. It’s past dinner time, they’ve ordered some pizzas and they’ve been left alone now.
Jungkook still finds it a little hard to believe Taehyung really rented such apartment just for them to
spend the night.
Jungkook is staring out the window, a little mesmerized by how amazing it looks. They’re floor to
ceiling windows, the entire wall like that, giving him the most amazing view of the outside. The
community gardens are illuminated and the lights keep the living room lit even if he has turned the
lights off. He can’t even imagine living at a place like that.
He back hugs the blonde as soon as he gets to his side, chin prompted on Taehyung’s shoulder,
arms around his stomach. “Did you enjoy your afternoon?” Jungkook nods, humming. “It was
really tough to find Yunseok, I stood outside all of your classes until someone told me they were
your friend.” Taehyung giggles. Jungkook can’t help it but to look up, eyes fixated on how
beautiful Taehyung looks.
He’s still speaking, and truthfully Jungkook has no idea what he’s saying, too immersed in his
looks. The lights from the gardens and the moon reflect perfectly on his face, his smile looking so
much brighter like that.
Jungkook pulls back, even if he can still hear Taehyung’s voice, though it’s not even making sense
to him. He’s pretty sure it’s something about the cake and how he made sure to get Jungkook’s
favorite snacks.
Jungkook’s heart feels so full. Full of love for the man standing in front of him, how Taehyung
always takes care of him, how Taehyung always makes sure he’s well, how Taehyung goes beyond
expectations to make him happy. How Taehyung’s the sole reason why he’s happy to begin with.
How his life only started making sense after Taehyung.
He fiddles with his hoop earrings before he takes one out in what probably is one of the hastiest
ideas he’s ever had. He closes it so that it’s a perfect circle.
“Why are you so quiet, w—” Taehyung asks after he receives no response from his boyfriend and
he chokes on a gasp when he sees Jungkook getting down on one knee, holding what looks like one
of his hoop earrings. “What are you doing?” he whispers.
“Tae.” he starts. “Shit— Uh, okay, I don’t have a speech prepared, this— okay, whatever I say
now comes from the heart, alright? May make zero sense but try to understand.” Taehyung nods, a
hand over his mouth, eyes huge. “A year ago my life made no sense, I had no money, I was… at
one of my lowest, my nightmares were really at their absolute worst, I had no fucking reason to
leave my damn bed in the morning and then— you.”
There’s already a tear going down his cheek. “You with that smile of yours, with that energy you
have, you with… that positivity and— your will to help me even though I most probably seemed
helpless at the start, you never gave up on me, ever. Never left my side, always tried to understand
me, always supported me, always… shit.” he looks down to wipe his tears away, clearing his
throat. “This is tough.”
“Baby—”
“Please let me finish.” Taehyung nods. “If I’m here right now, happy and— fucking sober, it’s
because of you and how you much you’ve always believed in me. I can’t thank you enough for
everything you’ve done for me during this past year, and I mean every word when I say I’m so
fucking in love with you, Tae, you mean the world to me and— I really want to spend my life with
you. I have zero doubts about it. I want to be next to you, I-I love you. So much.” he gets a little
choked up so he has to inhale properly to be able to continue.
Taehyung wipes his own tears away quietly.
“I know this is very sudden, we’ve only been dating for four months and I wasn’t even here for
three of those so this is absolutely crazy but…” he chews on his bottom lip, fixing his position a
little bit, holding the earring with both his hands again. “Will you marry me?”
“Oh my God—” Taehyung’s knees fail, him ending up on the same level as the older man. “Yes,
yes, Jungkook, of course.” he nods multiple times.
“Shit— really?” Taehyung only nods again, squeezing Jungkook’s cheeks between his palms. “I
know this is really fucking sudden I— I’ll understand if it’s too early and you’re not ready or—”
“Baby.” Jungkook stops. “It’s a yes.” he whispers, biting down his lip as Jungkook pulls his hand
away from his cheek and pushes the earring up his finger. They both chuckle at that. “I’m glad it
doesn’t have a clasp.”
“Almost looks like an actual ring.” he admires it, getting up when Taehyung does too, pulling him
by the hand. “I had thought about doing this, I even tried to get your ring size… I was going to plan
something romantic, not like this, so out of nowhere and with a damn earring.”
“Well… I think it was perfect.” they both lean in for a kiss but Taehyung pulls away some seconds
after. “Is that why you had so many of my rings on your drawer?!”
“Yeah. I was trying to get your size.” he admits, pecking him around his cheek, down to his lips.
“I’m glad I was wearing that smaller ones, it actually fucking fits your finger.” Taehyung yelps
when he’s lifted by the back of his thighs, legs going around Jungkook’s waist as he’s pressed
against the windows. Jungkook’s lips are back to his. “I wish we were home.” he whispers, moving
his kisses to his neck. “I’d throw you in bed and—”
“Good thing we are.” Taehyung lets out. Jungkook pulls away, confused. Taehyung just bites away
a smile.
“Huh?” he looks around, confused. “I don’t understand.”
“I rented this for the month but if you like it I’m going to buy the place... I just wanted to be sure
you liked the place first.” Taehyung explains. “I brought everything in, Jimin and Hobi helped me,
and I was going to leave your stuff at first so that you can go over it and pick what you want and
trash what you don’t but uh, the landlord gave me a deadline, that man is really mean, by the way,
so we brought your stuff too. Everything is in boxes, though, so that you can easily go through
it…”
Jungkook remains quiet, still holding Taehyung up.
“I wanted you to have a fresh start… now that you’re out you won’t have memories of a couch
where you drank yourself stupid, you won’t have memories of a bedroom where you blacked out so
many times…” he goes on, though the silence starts feeling horrible. Maybe Jungkook doesn’t like
the idea.
Jungkook’s so overwhelmed, he doesn’t know what to say.
“Please don’t be upset that I didn’t tell you, I wanted it to be a surprise and— if you don’t like it
I’ll talk to your landlord and try to get the apartment back, I—”
Jungkook shuts him up with a kiss. “You did this for me?” he whispers, eyes filled with tears. It’s
too much. Too much.
“Mainly for you but also for us… I wanted us to get a better place for Moon and everything. She’s
at Jimin’s with Simba, don’t worry… But if you don’t like it, I’ll understand…”
“So… is the bed ours too?” he asks with a little smirk.
Taehyung smiles. “Not yet…”
Jungkook doesn’t need to be told twice. “Guide me.” he whispers against his lips before joining
them as he walks away from the window, hands still holding Taehyung up by his thighs.
“It’s the third door.” Taehyung pulls away to say once they get to the hall. Jungkook hums, lips
now prepping kisses all over the other’s neck. He soon opens the door, trying not to spend too
much time looking around.
Taehyung’s on his lap, waiting, he can check the bedroom some other time.
He lays Taehyung down, laying between his open legs, a hand cupping his jaw and hips moving
ever so slowly.
Jungkook shifts in his position once Taehyung arches his back a little, making sure to press even
harder on his slow movements. The dry friction is still good after being deprived for so long.
Taehyung moans softly when Jungkook sucks on the spot behind his ear. He pulls at the black
locks, eager.
“Can I prep you by eating you? Please, baby.” Jungkook whispers by his ear as he bites it.
“I’ve… already done that.” Taehyung whispers back, a little embarrassed. The hidden toy came
handy and he missed Jungkook so much he just wanted to be prepared for it when the moment
came.
“One day I’ll be lucky enough.” Jungkook says with a dramatic tone of voice and Taehyung
chuckles. He will never understand why Jungkook is so eager about it, he doesn’t understand
what’s so appealing.
Jungkook simply goes back to kissing his neck. He licks over the fading hickey he left a few days
prior. “Did that bitch guy see this?” he asks.
“Did you seriously only do that for him to see?” Taehyung asks with a quiet laugh, hips still slowly
moving up on their own to meet Jungkook’s.
Jungkook shrugs. “Weren't you the one ready for me to walk into the cafeteria with a stain on my
sweatpants? I don’t think you’re in any place to be shocked that I wanted people to know their
place. He asked you on a date. He wants to eat you as much as I do.”
“No he doesn’t!” Taehyung shakes his head, mouth falling open in a silent moan.
“Don’t make me record it for him.” he jokes, but Taehyung still chokes as he hears it. Jungkook
smirks. “I actually wouldn’t mind recording it. If you’re down, I’m down too—” he’s interrupted.
“We can’t record such thing!” Taehyung says with a rather high voice. “You’re insane, oh my
God.”
“Wonder what he’d think…” Jungkook whispers as he drags his lips down his neck. “...if he
suddenly received a voice message…” he tries not to chuckle.
His eyes grow big when he feels a hand feeling up his butt and only then does he understand
Taehyung’s searching for his phone in his pocket, throwing it to the nearest surface. He does laugh
then, against his collarbone.
“What if it broke?” he asks.
“Then you certainly can’t send anyone anything.” Taehyung smiles. “You truly are disgusting.”
“You haven’t even seen anything, love.” Jungkook bites down his collarbone. “It only gets worse
and now you’ve agreed to keep this lifestyle forever. You’ll have to listen to my… disgusting
suggestions.”
“Just— get on with it.” he says as he tugs on Jungkook’s shirt, wanting to do nothing but rip it out.
“Eager, are we?” Taehyung blushes. Yes, he is, but he doesn’t find it in himself to admit it out
loud. “What if I took my sweet, sweet ti—”
Jungkook’s surprised when he’s rolled over in bed, Taehyung straddling him. Taehyung quickly
gets rid of his own shirt, as eager as he’s ever been, and he just wants to touch. To be touched.
Jungkook just smiles as he allows his now fiancé to take his shirt off as well, holding himself in his
forearms when Taehyung starts opening his belt. He’s surprised, to say the least.
He lays down properly to let Taehyung pulls his jeans out, both quiet. His eyes examine the
younger’s torso, his soft stomach yet strong chest, his wide shoulders, golden skin looking perfect
under the faint light of just one of the lamps on the nightstand.
Taehyung’s perfect.
His eyes fall on his own abdomen when Taehyung drags a hand from his chest down and he feels
himself frowning. He didn’t exercise while he was away. At all. He went to the gym once or twice
at the start but then he simply stopped, he didn’t enjoy the gym there.
His abdomen isn’t really defined anymore, he looks lazy and he hates it. When Taehyung looks
that perfect, he feels almost embarrassed to be naked at the same time. Even if Taehyung kisses
around his belly button without a single care in the world, even if he knows Taehyung isn’t
showing any sign of not liking the sight anymore.
He’s caught off guard by Taehyung’s mouth around him and his hips kick up, positively gagging
him. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry, baby. Warn a man first— shit.”
Taehyung coughs a few times, pouting at him before he places a hand on his hips to keep them
still, mouth back to where it was previously. Jungkook can’t really wrap his head around the fact
that Taehyung is doing such thing without even shying away for a second.
“Where did this confidence come from?” he asks, hand finding its place on the blonde hair,
gripping it but not trying to control the speed himself. Yet. Taehyung doesn’t reply with words, he
simply looks up through his eyelashes. “Holy shit—”
│►
Taehyung giggles as the other twirls his engagement, well, ring, his hand resting over Jungkook’s
abdomen. Both tangled in bed, the sheets only up to their hips, Taehyung pressed against
Jungkook’s side.
“...and we have to get Moon to take the rings.” Jungkook suggests between all the wedding plans.
“You’re going to look so fucking perfect…”
“So are you.” Taehyung kisses his chest. “What name will we take? Kim or Jeon?” he asks,
looking up at him and Jungkook looks away, clearly losing himself in his thoughts. Taehyung just
lets the silence settle for a while, drawing patterns on his naked chest.
“My name comes from my dad’s side.” he finally starts. “I want our wedding, whenever it may
happen, to be a new start. A new beginning, the start of a new chapter. I don’t want anything to
remind me of the past.” Jungkook explains as he looks down at him. “I want my past gone.” he
whispers.
Taehyung smiles, kissing his chest again. “Kim then?” Jungkook nods, smiling just as big. “If I’m
being honest, Jeon Taehyung sounds horrendous, but if you wanted to keep it I’d give it a thought.
But since you don’t, we’ll just keep Kim.”
“Ew, what the fuck, Jeon Taehyung sounds fucking terrible.” he frowns. “So call me Kim
Jungkook from now on, if you will.” Jungkook smiles. “So much better.”
He leans down to kiss the younger man, intertwining their fingers. They stay quiet for a while
before Jungkook speaks again.
“You’ll get your purple tie.” Taehyung looks up right away. “I remember.”
Taehyung simply pushes himself up to kiss him, a hand on his cheek, pressing their lips in a deep,
long kiss. Jungkook remembers such small details. “I love you.” he whispers against his lips. “I
love you so much.”
“I love you too.” Jungkook smiles. “I love you.”
“We should get up to wash up.” Taehyung says as he looks down at himself, his abdomen still
sticky. Their bangs are still glued to their foreheads with sweat, they need a shower. “I feel sticky
and gross. It’s still… dropping out, it’s gross.”
“If someone didn’t forget to get condoms you wouldn’t be saying that.” Taehyung opens his mouth
in fake offense. “Not that I’m complaining. At all. Really, at all. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not
complaining one bit.”
“Next time we’ll just not do anything.” Jungkook pouts. “We have a tub, c’mon, I want to take this
sex stench out of me.” he sits up. “We’re never not using a condom again, I forgot how gross it
feels after.”
“First of all, don’t remind me of the fact that piece of garbage has been there before me.”
Taehyung snorts. “It may feel gross after but it feels so good in the moment, you can’t deprive us
of such thing.”
“You’re kind of right, that’s your luck.” Jungkook smiles.
“Anyways. Next point. What do you mean there’s a fucking tub?” he sits up as well. “I shouldn’t
be surprised, this place is huge, but really?”
“We actually have three tubs but the one in our bathroom is the largest one.” Jungkook gapes.
“What’s wrong?” Taehyung chuckles.
“Why the fuck do we have three tubs— How many bathrooms are there?!” he lets out, a little
incredulous. “Tae, how many rooms does this damn apartment have? I’m so— confused.”
“Uh, okay, there’s the kitchen and the living room as you already saw... there’s a dining room that I
just know we’re never going to use. Then you have three bedrooms, but one’s actually an office
and each has a bathroom. And there’s another bathroom for guests.” he explains, counting them on
his fingers. “There’s also a pool and a gym but that’s for the whole building.”
“So I get to choose where to piss now.” Jungkook says, not quite believing it. Taehyung laughs,
nodding his head. “Why do we need so much room, what the fuck… it’s— Tae, this is gigantic.
Just this damn bedroom is the size of our whole old apartment.”
“It’s not that big.” Taehyung comments as he looks around. “Okay, it's probably two thirds of it or
a bit less, but I get what you mean. It’s very spacious. I fell in love with it when I saw that wall in
the living room.”
“Shit, the window, don’t even get me started, I was so jealous of whoever got to live here.”
Jungkook says, smile huge. “I can’t believe this is our place.”
“You can get your coffee in the morning while looking down at the view, isn’t that so great?” he
sighs, a little dreamy. “I just knew you were going to love this place as much as I did… and I
promise I’ll show you every corner as long as you get up and carry me to the bathroom for us to
get a bath.”
“I have to carry you now?” he lifts an eyebrow. “After using so much energy just minutes ago I
have to physically get you to the bathroom?”
“Jungkookie, don’t you think I’d be so much more tired?” he pouts. “I’m sore, please carry me.”
Taehyung lifts both of his arms, pleading. Jungkook sighs, exaggerated, before he gets up, picking
him up.
“You’re so lucky I love you.”
│►
“You better not go too far on your bachelor’s party. I won’t be there but I’ll know.” Taehyung
points a finger at his boyfriend, both sitting in front of each other, relaxing under the hot water.
Jungkook’s sure he has never taken a bath like that.
“I don’t want one.” he says with a shrug. Taehyung just tilts his head, questioningly. “Bachelor
parties are just an excuse to get wasted and have strippers and them being acceptable even though
you’re getting married. I can’t drink and I don’t want to look at anyone else so why would I want a
bachelor party?”
Taehyung’s heart feels like it could explode. “But you can have them, I won’t be upset or
anything.”
“No, thank you. I have you, the only stripping I’ll accept is from you.” he smiles, resting his head
back.
“Is that an invitation?” Taehyung throws back.
Jungkook raises an eyebrow. “Is that acceptance?” he asks. Taehyung losing his shyness with him
has got to be the best thing to happen. “But still, no. No one is going to see your ass but me.”
Taehyung chucks some water at him, making him laugh. “But wait, are you trying to tell me you’ll
have strippers?”
“No! I—”
“Why do you want to look—”
“I don’t! Shut up!” Taehyung shrieks. “I won’t have any strippers there.” he pouts, looking away
with a blush creeping up to the tips of his ears.
“You can have strippers as long as they’re less attractive than I am.” Jungkook states. “I’ll make
sure to tell Hoseok that, I’m sure he’ll be the one planning it. Less attractive, is that ok?”
Taehyung blinks. “I—”
“You hesitated, I can’t believe.” Jungkook fake gapes. “What, is my dick not enough or
something?”
“We’ve been engaged for two hours and I’m already having second thoughts.” Taehyung shakes
his head, not meaning his words one bit.
“Baby, the ring is on your finger, it can’t come off.” Taehyung raises an eyebrow, making a move
to pull the earring off of his finger but Jungkook quickly grabs his hand. “Do you enjoy seeing me
cry?”
“I don’t enjoy it but when it’s a cry of happiness I can appreciate how red your nose gets. Looks
really adorable if I’m being honest.” he smiles, teasingly.
“My nose is not cute—” Jungkook goes cross eyed as he follows a finger that soon touches the tip
of his nose. “Stop, get off—” again. “First you want strippers, then you make fun of my nose?”
“I said it’s cute!” Taehyung frowns.
“So you didn’t deny that you want strippers, what’s the truth anymore?” he sighs, looking down at
the bubbly water with a shake of the head.
“Your hearing is really selective.” Jungkook only pouts further. “Jungkookie I promise I don’t
want to look at anyone’s… willy.” the laugh is immediate, so loud Taehyung flinches, Jungkook
positively losing it. And Taehyung chuckles too, though he starts worrying when Jungkook’s laugh
turns into a coughing fit. “Are you— Are you okay?”
“Willy— Fucking willy—” he says between laughs and he can’t even wipe his tears away due to
the soap on his hands. “Oh my God I can’t stop—”
“Stop laughing at me!” Taehyung whines, throwing some water at him again, but that seems to do
worse.
“My fucking stomach hurts—” he places a hand over his abdomen, trying his hardest to stop
laughing, but Taehyung’s innocent voice saying such word repeating on his mind only makes him
start chuckling again.
Taehyung waits patiently until the giggles start dying down. “Are you done now?” he asks with a
soft smile.
“Man, you almost killed me.” Jungkook says, a new chuckle coming out. “Please go back to
talking before I start laughing again, that was the funniest thing you’ve ever said.” Taehyung rolls
his eyes playfully.
“What were we even talking about? You’ve been laughing for five minutes, I’m lost.” he frowns,
tickling Jungkook’s side with his toes. Jungkook leans away, the water almost overflowing.
It’s silent for a few seconds, both just staring at each other, the water up to their chests and
Jungkook can’t help but to smile at the sight before him. Taehyung’s just the prettiest. “Do you
love me?” he asks.
“I—” Taehyung tilts his head. “Are you seriously asking me this after I said yes to your proposal?”
“You know I like to hear it all the time.” Jungkook pouts. “You can never be too certain…
especially now that I know you’ll have strippers all over you some time in the future. But don’t
worry, you can have them, I’m totally cool with that, it’s absolutely fine.”
“So can I have four?” he jokes. Jungkook’s smile falls.
“Why do you need four w— will— I can’t—”
Taehyung rests back in the tub, knowing there’s going to be some minutes until Jungkook stops
laughing again. As long as he gets to see Jungkook that happy, he will embarrass himself however
it may be.
│►
“Didn’t you say you had something for me?” Taehyung suddenly remembers as they’re back into
their bedroom, Jungkook already halfway inside the covers and he stops before running out of the
room. Taehyung blinks, deciding it’s best to follow.
Jungkook goes into the kitchen, where he has left the covered canvas and as he picks it up, he starts
having second thoughts. Taehyung got them a whole apartment, prepared the get together with
their closest friends. How can he hand him a stupid painting now?
“Oh my God, is that a canvas— is it a painting? Please, let me see!” Taehyung says, excited, and
Jungkook looks down at the painting in his hands. Then he looks up, taking a step back when
Taehyung tries to get closer.
“You know how I have many regrets in life… this is one of them, please forget this.” the blonde
frowns, looking at him with puppy eyes. Jungkook can’t resist those. He was never able to. So he
ends up handing it over, trying to fight the urge to run out of the room.
Taehyung is absolutely quiet looking at the painting and he can feel the nerves starting to fill him
up.
“I-I didn’t know you got this apartment, I would’ve done better, I just felt like you should have
something and it meant a lot to me at the time, to be able to focus on this and forget everything else
and I wanted to be able to show you that I used my time there for… something. But now I can see
how shitty it is, I’m so sorry— are you crying?”
His back hits the wall behind himself as Taehyung hugs him so out of nowhere he doesn’t see it
coming, canvas leaning next to them. “How did I find someone like you— this is absolutely
perfect, hyung, how are you so talented?” he asks, rhetorically, taking a step back to look at it
again. “It looks like the damn picture, you’re so good at painting…?! I love it, I love you, oh my
God, thank you so much.”
“You… really like it? Or are you just saying that to make me feel better? I’ll try not to cry if you
say you hate it, took me a whole fucking month to finish.” Taehyung giggles, squeezing
Jungkook’s cheeks between his palms again.
“I love it so much, thank you. You’re amazing, you never fail to surprise me.” he whispers the
ending against his lips before pecking them. “I’m going to hang this right at the entrance hall so
that everyone sees it when they come in.”
“Tae, no—”
“Tae, yes.” Taehyung hums as he picks the canvas up. “I’m going to nail it tomorrow.”
“Only if I get to nail you now.” he says with an immediate snort that only turns into a chuckle
when Taehyung looks at him, confused. “What?”
“You want to nail me to the wall? I don’t— what?” Taehyung tilts his head, eyes big with both
confusion and curiosity. “I’m afraid I don’t understand what you mean.” he watches as Jungkook
almost tips over with a wheeze. “Why— Why are you laughing, I don’t understand!” he whines.
“Babe, I asked to nail you—” Jungkook places a hand over his stomach.
“I— What?!” Taehyung puts the painting down. “Should I call the police or something?!” his
frown deepens as Jungkook’s attacked by another fit of laughter, not even producing sound
anymore. “I hate this, I hate when I don’t get it— explain yourself.” he frowns, poking Jungkook’s
ribs. “Explain it, please.”
“It’s just a sexual joke.” Jungkook explains once he manages to calm himself down.
Taehyung takes a second. “Oh…! I get it now, you’re gross.” he places the painting on the nearest
surface to keep it safe before walking away. Jungkook follows with a skip in his step.
“But can I?” he sing songs as they enter the spacious living room. “It’s a good suggestion.”
“We just showered from last time.”
“We can always shower again.” Jungkook shrugs, pulling Taehyung into a stop by the hand. “We
even have the perfect windows.” and that has Taehyung losing it, shrieking into his hand before he
properly faces the older man.
“Now what in the world do windows have to do with sex?!” he asks before he walks away to the
window. Jungkook watches with an amused smile as Taehyung looks at it attentively, trying to put
two and two together. “I don’t understand.” he admits defeat.
Jungkook hums as he steps closer. “Will you elbow me in the face if I just show you why we can
use these windows?” he asks as he stops right behind his boyfriend. Taehyung takes a moment of
contemplation.
“I might.”
“I like my odds on this, give me your hands.” Jungkook leans closer to reach for Taehyung’s wrists
before he places his open palms against the windows. Taehyung lets out a quiet gasp as Jungkook
pushes him carefully by the back of his neck until his cheek is pressed to the glass as well. “Now
look ahead.” he does. “See the building in front?”
“Yeah.” Taehyung whispers.
“If their blinds were open, would we be able to see them?” Taehyung nods. “If we can see them…
they can see us.” he whispers behind his ear and it’s silent for a long second before Taehyung
understands what that implies. The hand on the back of his neck crawls up until it’s gripping his
hair. “Now can we—”
“Get off, get off.” Taehyung pushes him away with barely any strength, cheeks burning red.
Jungkook only chuckles, amused. “Sometimes you really make me want to…” he mimics what
would be to choke him but Jungkook only smirks. “That’s it, I’m done with you for today, good
night.” Jungkook’s face lights up.
He trails after him. “I have so much to show you, this is going to be so much fun.”
“I’ll show you the way out if you keep teasing me.” Taehyung threatens, not looking back.
Jungkook catches up to him in order to sneak his arms around his torso. There’s a kiss to his neck
and he immediately relaxes into Jungkook’s arms.
“I’ve missed this so fucking much.” he whispers.
Taehyung sighs, dreamy. “I missed you too.”
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss
◄│ 87 │►
Chapter Notes
Taehyung wakes up to a hand on his shoulder, shaking him slowly but continuously. “Are you
awake?” Jungkook whispers. He just hums. “I can’t figure out how to turn the fucking stove on,
can you please get up and explain it?”
“Are you serious?” Taehyung asks as he pops one eye open. Just one of them.
“Yes, there’s too many buttons— and they’re touch screen, I don’t comprehend it.” he watches as
Taehyung simply closes his eye again, shifting a little to be comfortable under the sheets. Jungkook
gives him a second to be sure he’s not going to get up before he’s back to shaking him.
“You kept me awake for so long, let me sleep.” he whines, rolling over until he reaches
Jungkook’s side of the bed, hugging his pillow. He almost drifts back to sleep instantly as he
inhales Jungkook’s scent.
“It wasn’t me asking for round two, was it?”
“Yes. Yes it was. Go away.” Taehyung lifts his foot up to Jungkook’s chest once he tries to step
closer again after going around the bed. “Stay back, I want to sleep.” he whines as Jungkook grabs
his ankle, pulling him down to the foot of the bed.
“I’m trying to be a dream husband, please, how do I turn that shit on?” Jungkook asks with a pout
and Taehyung sighs dramatically, lifting both his arms up. That’s enough of an indicator for the
older man to pick him up, Taehyung clinging onto him like a koala, a second away from falling
asleep right there. Jungkook’s comfortable.
He cracks his neck as he’s placed on the floor, Jungkook towering over him to be able to see how
he turns the stove on. “Oh, that’s actually quite easy, I could’ve figured out how to do that if I had
spent one or two more minutes.”
“I guess your big brain only works for advanced math and— I don’t even know what you go
through in class but you get my point.” Taehyung yawns, pulling what looks like a cabinet but
turns out to be the fridge. Jungkook scratches the top of his head, curious.
“I wondered why we didn’t have a fridge.” he comments. “I thought we just had to get one or
something…” Taehyung giggles as he takes the carton of milk before closing the fridge again. “I
feel kind of out of place.”
“Why? You’re supposed to feel at home…” Taehyung tilts his head, filling up a mug.
“I do, I would either way if you’re there, it’s just… this is some rich type shit, and I’m not rich,
I’ve never been, I just feel like this isn’t my place.” he explains, resting his hips against the
counter. “I’m sure it will sink in eventually, anyways…”
“I hope it does, because this is your place, this is your home, your name will be on the contract.”
Taehyung props himself onto the counter, sitting next to the stove so that he can stay close to him
as he prepares their breakfast. And he stays there, both chatting over the smallest of the things as
Jungkook prepares the pancake mix after Taehyung requests such.
He stands between Taehyung’s legs as they give the mixture a minute to set, one hand on each side
of Taehyung’s hips, looking up at him. Taehyung’s eyes fall to his ear before he takes a hand to the
hoop earrings he’s still wearing and he takes one off.
Jungkook smiles as he places it on his finger. Well, tries to. “Your fingers are too fat.” Taehyung
mumbles as the earring gets stuck on the second knuckle.
“You weren’t exactly complaining last night.” he chuckles as Taehyung hides his blush by placing
his head to his neck. “Just try the next one.” and the blonde does as said, placing the earring back
to Jungkook’s ear and popping the next one out. It’s slightly larger, and it does slide down in an
almost perfect fit. “We should probably get actual rings.”
“Hm, I’m quite a fan of this concept, it’s… unique.”
“I thought you’d find it lame, I didn't have time to come up with anything better.” Jungkook
frowns, though it’s quickly kissed away. “You’re really getting married to the cheapest guy ever,
can’t even get you a proper engagement ring.”
“I’m getting married to the best guy, is what you should’ve said.” Taehyung corrects as the other
pulls away to start working on the pancakes. “I think I may be going for lunch with Jimin and
Hobi, by the way, do you want to tag along?”
“Nah, I think I’ll meet Yoongi and Jin after bringing Moon and Simba home, Jin said he’d drive
me to be able to get them here. I didn’t read their texts after but I’m pretty sure they mentioned
lunch.” he explains, placing the right amount of mixture on the pan.
“Can we tell them about being engaged?” Taehyung asks, grabbing the spatula once Jungkook
passes it to him in order to search for a plate.
“I mean, I was this close to telling them last night through texts but I figured I should ask you first
but you were sleeping, so I held back. So yes, I’d say we c—” he stops suddenly, making the
blonde turn to him, who’s pointing towards the milk carton sitting at the counter where Taehyung
left it.
“Sorry, I forgot.” Taehyung giggles.
“Why, though. You know how much it irks me— if you use it for a second, you can just put it
back, it’s— it’s quite simple. Do you know how fast milk can go bad? And do you happen to know
what it does to your stomach if you drink it?” Jungkook rants and Taehyung’s not even phased.
He’s heard that one too many times. “And it’s always the milk that you leave out, it really doesn’t
make sense to me—”
“I’m sorry, sir, I’ll pay closer attention next time.” Taehyung says, trying not to laugh, as he flips
the pancake over. Jungkook inhales a little too sharply.
“Don’t— Call me that.”
“Call you what? Sir? Why not?” he chuckles, brows furrowed in confusion.
“I’ll ruin my underwear.” Jungkook says, no sense of shame whatsoever. Not like he ever has it.
“What?” Taehyung tilts his head.
“Huh?” he shoots back.

It takes Taehyung a second to piece it together and he giggles, shaking his head. “Really?”
“That’s a conversation you’re not ready for.” Jungkook points out, storing the milk without saying
another word about it. “So I’d advise you not to initiate it.” Taehyung raises both of his hands,
dismissive. “Though it will come one day.”
“Oh—”
│►
“So…” Jimin starts, twirling his glass on his hand. “How was last night? What did he think about
the apartment? Did he like it?” he asks with a smile.
“Oh, he loved it. I gave him a little tour and he was so overwhelmed. He really loved it, made me
feel great about it…” Taehyung sighs. “The night was actually… really, really great.” he bites
down his bottom lip and his best friends share a knowing look.
“The welcome-home sex was probably great, we get it.” Hoseok comments with little to no shame.
Taehyung covers his face with a hand, cheeks heating up. “Oh, we know it happened, no need to
get all shy on us.”
“Can we focus on something really important instead…?” they nod right away. “He… popped a
big question.” Jimin gasps, Hoseok’s eyes growing huge. Taehyung simply lifts his hand, showing
off the band around his finger.
“Shut the fuck up!” Hoseok shrieks.
“Please tell me he made a speech and all, please— he probably did, right? Did you cry? Did he
cry?! Oh my God, how did he ask? Why aren’t you speaking already?!” Taehyung laughs as Jimin
showers him with questions. “Please, we want every single detail.”
“So… after I walked you two out, we were just… hugging by the windows and he suddenly let go
and he was so quiet, I grew suspicious. Turns out he was on his knee right behind me.” he sighs,
dreamy, as he remembers the sight. “And it’s Jungkook, so of course he made a speech… an
emotional one, I have to add. Both crying type of situation. I said yes right away and we uh, cried
some more.” he chuckles.
“That’s so cute… oh my God.” Jimin places a hand over his heart.
“I know, he’s— perfect.” Taehyung shrugs with a blush high on his cheeks.
“Let us see the ring, though!” Hoseok makes grabby hands, eager to see it.
“Oh— it’s uh, it’s not an actual ring.” he giggles, allowing them to study the silver ring around his
finger. “He was unprepared, according to him, it felt like the right time and he couldn’t let it pass.
So yeah, he just pulled an earring out.”
“That’s… honestly kind of really romantic. It’s unique at least, that’s for sure.” Jimin points out.
“And an amazing story to tell. Your man was so eager he didn’t even wait until he had a ring?
Adorable.”
“You two realize we’ve only been together for four months, right?” they both nod. “Took me less
than last time and you’re not lecturing me?” he tilts his head. “Last time I got a twenty minute
speech. Well, at least it made up for the lack of one during the proposal.”
“Ay, good one.” Hoseok chuckles. “But, Taehyungie, it’s Jungkook. He’s the best thing to ever
happen to you, we wouldn’t lecture you even if you told us you two got married already.” Jimin is
quick to nod in agreement. “You’re going to see how much of a nightmare it is to pick wedding
stuff.”
“Oh, Jungkookie and I are pretty much always on the same page about things… I doubt we’ll fight
over such things.” Taehyung dismisses it.
“Yes, we thought so too until you have to agree on the smallest of the details.” Jimin rubs his
temples. “It’s a big headache to deal with.”
“No, I’m serious, we don’t fight over things… we just talk it out, I think we honestly even over
communicate at times.” he giggles. “Ok, yes, what happened while he was in rehab was the exact
opposite of how communication works, but we’re usually not like that.”
“We get it, you have a perfect relationship.” Hoseok teases. “It’s so good to see you this happy…
and to think some time ago you were with someone who treated you as poorly as Hyungsik did.
The difference must be crazy for you.”
Taehyung sighs. “I try not to think about it. I try not to think of Hyungsik, I do my best not to,
because truthfully, I don’t care about him at all now, he doesn’t faze me anymore, but the
memories don’t just… leave. And it’s crazy for me to think about that time because it’s… the
difference is more than crazy. I went from someone who refused to give me a hug to someone
who, without missing a beat, will confess to me every single day.”
“I hope you’re taking notes.” Jimin whispers, nudging Hoseok with his elbow. “He really sets the
bar, huh?” Taehyung laughs quietly, shrugging his shoulders.
“I don’t want to get you two in trouble.” he smiles.
Jimin smiles. “He’s already in trouble.”
“Oh Jesus.”
│►
Jungkook pushes the door to the café open, smiling to himself at the homely smell. He’s missed
that aroma, the lingering smell of recently crushed grains of coffee, the pastries, everything. He’s
barely one foot into the place when he feels a pair of arms around him.
Eunjae.
“There, there, we saw each other yesterday.” he chuckles, though he hugs back without a second of
hesitance. “Did something happen? Why are you squeezing me so hard? I can’t fucking breathe—”
“I just missed you and yesterday we couldn’t talk much…! Besides, you being here is completely
different, it’s like you’re back already and I’ve missed my coworker, you know?” she looks up at
him, chin prompted between his pectorals.
“I, too, have missed you,. surprisingly.” he jokes. “Now can I go? I need to see Seojoon, I texted
him and he said he’s here, is he at the break room?”
“Oh, yes, yes, he is.” Eunjae steps away, fixing her apron. “Just go talk to him, he has something
uh, important, to tell you.” Jungkook raises a confused eyebrow. “Go on, it’s important.” he walks
away from her, headed to the break room, her words leaving him nervous, he has to admit.
Two knocks on the door are enough to get him an indication to go in, so he does, peeking his head
inside first. Seojoon gets up as soon as he sees it’s him, already smiling widely. “Jungkook! It’s
been so long, please, come in.”
“Hey, yeah, it’s been quite a while.” he chuckles, closing the door once he’s fully inside the room.
“Eunjae told me you had something important to tell me…?” he’s sure his tone of voice gives
away his anxiousness. Seojoon just gestures him to sit down after shaking his hand politely.
“The point is, your job position isn’t there anymore.” Jungkook’s heart falls. “Ok, that was a poor
start, I meant to say you’re getting a promotion, I’m really bad at this— Anyways, every other day
some customer would ask where the, and I’ll quote, the nice barista was, and no offense to Eunjae,
but they meant you. Everyone likes you so much, from customers to really, all of us, so I had a little
chat with Jae and the other workers and we all agreed to upgrade you to shift manager, if you will.”
“Oh— Shit— I mean, sorry for cursing, but— are you sure? I have classes, you haven’t forgotten
that, right?” Seojoon chuckles with a shake of the head. “This is my first promotion ever this is—
kind of crazy. No, it’s really crazy, thank you so much.”
“You’re welcome, really.” he waves a dismissive hand. “But tell me, how were those three
months? How did that place treat you?” his boss asks as he leans on the table, actually interested.
Jungkook blinks. Does he really want to share that? “Eunjae shared every talk she had with you,
kept me a little updated, but she didn’t go much into detail.”
“It was… an experience. The first two weeks were a living hell but then it got better.” he decides
there’s absolutely no reason to tell him what happened with Taehyung. “I made two amazing
friends there and they helped me getting through those three months but yeah, I got back
yesterday.”
“Oh, I’m glad to hear.” Seojoon nods. “How’s it being back on the outside world?”
“A bit weird, but it has been eventful.” he chuckles. “Got engaged last night.”
“Did you really? That’s incredible, congratulations.” Seojoon’s face lights up. “That’s such good
news, I’m really happy for you.”
“Thank you.” Jungkook looks down, biting a smile away. “I haven’t even told Jae yet so if you
hear her screaming in a few moments, it’s because of that.” his boss laughs.
“Thanks for the notice.” he says, going back to stapling some papers together. “But do you want a
week before coming back to work? I understand settling back in may be tough, you can take a
week, if you need to.”
“Oh. Yeah, that’d be really good. Thank you so much.”
│►
“...and for drinks, what would you want to order?” the waitress smiles as she writes down the main
dishes they’ve asked for. “We have wine that we make ourselves, would you like to try some? I can
get a small bottle just as a starter.”
“No, thank you, it’ll be an alcohol free beer for me.” Yoongi says.
“Same for me.” Seokjin agrees, both looking at the other, who scratches the back of his head.
“Just… a coke.” he doesn’t want to be around anything, even if free of alcohol, the taste will be
similar if not the same and he doesn’t want to test himself. He’s made a promise. To everyone, to
Taehyung, most importantly, to himself.
“Actually, make it three cokes.” the younger girl bows after writing it down and Jungkook gives
them a little smile. “So, how was last night?” Yoongi asks. “First night in your apartment, how was
it?”
“I can’t believe you all knew it.” he shakes his head with a chuckle. “It’s still pretty much
impossible for me to believe I actually live there now… that place is a dream.” Jungkook says,
fiddling with his glass. “But… there’s something I have to tell you.”
“What is it?” Seokjin raises a curious eyebrow.
“I may or may not have… proposed last night.” they both gasp, so loud it brings other people’s
attention. “It was a terrible proposal, I think, I didn’t even have a ring, he’s currently walking with
an earring on his finger.” he chuckles at himself and at how stupid it sounds. Taehyung liked it, so
it relaxes him.
“I mean— that’s kind of cool. It’s different.” Yoongi points out. “Creative, too.”
“Am I… allowed to get emotional for a second?” Seokjin interrupts. “Have you stopped to think of
how you were a year and a half ago? And look at yourself right now, you have a stable job, just got
a promotion, you’ll be back to college soon on a degree I couldn’t even dream of trying to pursue,
my brain wouldn’t be able to take it…”
“You quit drinking, got a new apartment, you’re getting married.” Yoongi has to add.
“I know… I feel euphoric.” he sighs, happy. “I’m so content… I can’t believe I got myself
someone so understanding and— ok, I’ll shut up before I rant about Taehyung for twenty
minutes.” Jungkook says, placing his hands on the table.
“Can I just say… I can’t wait for the bachelor party.” Seokjin comments with a little smirk. “We’ll
get you a stripper— no, it has to be two, a male and a female since you’re… well, into both.” he
lists. “And—”
“No, I don’t want none of that.”
“It’s… your last chance to see tits.” Yoongi points out.
“I don’t care.” he shrugs.
“Boobs, Jungkook. Boobs.” Seokjin tries to help.
“I’m thinking about boobs now and I feel wrong, can you not make me imagine such thing, I’m an
engaged man.” Jungkook rubs his temples. “I shall not visually cheat on my boyfriend, stop trying
to lure me.”
“It’s not cheating to see boobs on your bachelor’s party, that’s literally what you’re supposed to
do.” Yoongi runs a hand over his face. “Besides, you’re literally a boobs man.”
“Incorrect, I’m a changed man, it’s what I am.” he raises a finger. “In no way boobs are better now.
You really have no idea of what you’re missing out on.” Seokjin cringes a little, leaning away on
his chair.
“I’m— I’m happy with boobs, actually.” Yoongi nods, agreeing. “So… no bachelor party?” he
asks. Jungkook shakes his head. “What if we just drink alcohol free beers and order like… ten
pizzas on the floors of one of your rooms?”
Jungkook sighs. “Fine.”
“With a stripper.”
“Absolutely not.”
│►
Taehyung halts, surprised, as he opens the door to a happy dog, tail wagging as she jumps to him.
“Hey girl, glad to have you back.” he says with a higher pitched voice, petting her with both of his
hands. “Is your dad in the living room?” Taehyung asks, rhetorically, making his way to said room
as she follows.
Jungkook’s laid down on the couch, Simba sleeping all cuddled up his chest, one of her paws
across his neck. “How did she react when she saw you?” Taehyung asks, going around the couch to
press a kiss to Jungkook’s forehead before replacing the pillow his head is laying on.
“You know how dogs pee when they get excited? She peed all over Jimin’s floor and he made me
clean it, though since she wouldn’t leave me alone, she just dragged it as she followed me around
— it was a mess. But I’ve never seen her that happy… even Simba jumped on me, stupid cat has
feelings apparently. And she hasn’t left me alone, either, she’s ruining my hoodie.” he gestures
towards all the yellow fur stuck to his black clothes.
“Maybe if you didn’t dress like you’re going to a funeral every day.”
“Who asked you?” Taehyung flicks his forehead with a smile. “But guess who got a promotion for
being, and I quote, the nice barista. I’m that good at making lattes, I should just quit college, who
the fuck wants to be an engineer when you can mix coffee and milk to perfection?” he says and
Taehyung’s mouth falls with surprise, soon enough shifting into a smile.
“Did you really? Oh my God, hyungie, I’m so proud.” he shrieks, ruffling the tuff of black hair on
his lap. “Are you charming the customers?” Taehyung raises an eyebrow. “Don’t tell me you’ve
been smiling at them.” he jokes, poking his cheek.
“Darling, I know my smile is pretty irresistible, but I want to win the heart of every old lady that
steps foot into the coffee shop.” his smile grows as Taehyung laughs quietly. “Also, this movie is
pretty interesting.” he pats Taehyung’s thigh twice before pointing towards the television. “I can’t
count the pixels on the television, that’s weird, but not the point.”
“Shut up…” Taehyung shakes his head with a giggle. They both stay quiet for a while, focused on
the television, but Jungkook’s focus ends up drifting after a while. The movie starts getting
predictable and he loses interest.
He focuses on the hand on his chest instead, the long, slim fingers, adorned by multiple rings. He
slides one out, placing it on his finger instead. It’s a big red square and he doesn’t think it would
look good on anyone but Taehyung. And he’s not Taehyung. Looks awful on him.
Taehyung looks down at him, slipping his own rings out to place them on Jungkook’s fingers in
the same order he has styled them on earlier. They’re both still silent, Jungkook just looking at the
rings on his hand and Taehyung watching his curiosity.
“They suit you.” he says, eventually.

“I don’t think they do.” Jungkook shrugs. “This one is quite interesting, though.” he comments,
examining a ring which has a combination of three funny shaped stones. A brown one, a red one
and a dark blue one. How Taehyung pulls that off, he has no idea. “How much was this? Looks
kind of expensive.”
“I think… a hundred and forty something.”
“What the fuck—” Jungkook takes it off right away. “How can you spend so much on a fucking
ring?!” he looks up as he hurries to put it on Taehyung’s finger instead where it’s free from being
damaged. “I don’t even want to know how much you’re paying for this apartment.” Jungkook
whispers, eyes drifting to the ceiling in thought. “Are you really broke now that you’re investing
on the apartment?”
“Uh, no.” Taehyung tilts his head. “Don’t worry about the money, your reaction when you knew
this was yours and your faces as I showed you around was worth even more than what I’ll be
paying for.”
“But— You’ve bought me a camera, you’re paying for half of my college tuition, you paid for me
to go to rehab, you’re paying for this place… You’ve spent so much money on me, Tae, it’s… I
can’t even keep track of it.” the tone in his voice has Taehyung suppressing a sigh. He’s heard him
saying that too many times.
“I don’t regret any of that.” Jungkook frowns. “I’ve always wanted a place like this and I’ve always
wanted to spend my money as I pleased without having someone controlling my every step, every
cent that left my account. I like expensive jewelry and I like to spoil those who I love. I love you,
so I like spoiling you. I love buying things for you, it makes me happy to see you happy and living
the life you deserve, and it makes me happy that I can buy the place I’ve always wished for,
knowing it’s to your liking as well.”
“So you just want to be my sugar daddy…?”
“You know what, forget everything I said.” Taehyung looks back at the television.
“No, but that’s literally what you said, you want to spoil me… I would just like to clarify that in
bed— babe, no come here!” he calls as Taehyung pushes his head away, him almost falling down
from the couch but catching himself in time to get up. “C’mon, daddy, don’t run away from me.”
“Shut up!” Taehyung yells, already in the hall. Jungkook rushes to follow, a confused Moon
running too after the both of them. “Don’t call me that, that’s gross!” there’s a bang of a door
closing and he has to stop himself from laughing.
“But—” he stops as he stares at the doors, all of them closed, and he has no idea where Taehyung
has gone to. “Well, shit.”
│►
Taehyung stops mid-sentence as Jungkook slides up to him on the couch, a nose tickling the side of
his jaw. “What are you doing…?” Jungkook sing songs before he eyes the computer on the
blonde’s lap, Taehyung’s parents staring back at him. “Oh hey, Ms. and Mr. Kim.” he waves,
smiling.
“Hi, Jungkookie…!” his mother greets. “Taehyungie said he had something to tell us about you
two.”
“Actually can I say it?” he looks back at Taehyung who simply gives him a smile and a short nod.
“Mr. Kim, I’m really sorry that I didn’t ask you first, I really wanted to, in the plans I made for the
future, I was going to call you and properly ask but— last night I proposed and it was a very sudden
decision, the moment was perfect and I couldn’t not do it… so it was impossible to ask for your
blessing but I hope you won’t be too mad.” Taehyung’s eyebrows come together in a silent coo.
“You— Wanted my blessing?” his dad asks, surprised. The previous time he was simply informed
of the engagement, no blessing asked whatsoever.
“Yes… and I still want it if you’re ok with that.” he chews on the inside of his cheek, trying to
ignore how Taehyung’s mother is already crying. “I know we’ve been together for… only a little,
but I’m very serious about your son and I wanted your approval…”
“You wouldn’t get my approval if you had asked previously.” Taehyung rolls his eyes as he easily
identifies the joking tone on his father’s voice. However, Jungkook doesn’t know his father that
well.
Taehyung leans closer as his fiancé gapes, unsure of what to say. “Should we call it quits then…?”
he whispers, playing along. Jungkook’s eyes grow impossibly larger. “What do you think?”
“Honey, stop that, he thinks you’re serious.” Jungkook blinks as the couple on the screen nudge
each other and he frowns as Taehyung hugs him with laughter coming through between coos.
“I refuse to join this family like this.” Jungkook says as he gets up, a hand tugging on his hair back,
standing right behind the computer.
“Well… I guess I’m back to being single since he refuses to be a part of the family.” Jungkook
shows him his middle finger but Taehyung simply pouts his lips before looking back at his parents.
His dad covers his mouth to stop a laugh for a second before speaking. “Is this the time we start
saying we didn’t actually like your boyfriend?” Taehyung snorts, Jungkook’s face turning into an
offended scowl.
“Excuse me, what?” Jungkook asks as he peeks from behind the computer. “Look at your dad
speaking as if he wasn’t cheering for us during Christmas break.” he says with an accusing finger,
nothing but his eyes and forehead being seen by the others.
“They knew?! It was supposed to be a secret!”
“Jungkookie, please sit down.” Taehyung’s mother urges and he does, half on the frame, half out of
it. The younger simply drags him in completely.
“I was obviously joking, you two have my full blessing, I’ve never seen my Taehyungie so happy.”
the older man says then. “I understand you couldn’t ask me before it but just the fact that you even
had the intention to ask first says a lot about your character.”
“Hm, I don’t care for your approval now, you’re not invited to the wedding.” Jungkook says as he
crosses his arms, Taehyung having to look away from him not to laugh right away. His mother isn’t
so shy about it, though, her bubbly laugh filling the room in a way that has Moon lifting her head,
curious.
“Do I at least get cake?” the dad asks.
“Nope. If you wanted cake you should’ve thought about it before.” Jungkook says as he looks
ahead, arms still crossed, a petty pout to his lips.
“Before what.”
“Getting me this close—” he gestures with his fingers. “—to crying.”
“Don’t worry, dad, he cries a lot.” Jungkook looks at him with a frown that has Taehyung patting
his thigh apologetically, giving it a squeeze after and just keeping it there. He doesn’t really mean
the apology, either way, as he fights off a giggle.
“But am I invited, though?” Taehyung’s mother asks once she’s able to stop her laughing fit.
“You’re married to the enemy, I’ll have to thi—”
Taehyung shoves him. “Stop fighting my dad!” Jungkook pouts, his puppy eyes making him look
so innocent it has Taehyung looking back at the screen, leaning towards it. “Dad, stop fighting my
boyfriend.”
Jungkook leans closer as well. “Fiancé, actually. I’m his fiancé, not boyfriend.”
“He started it.”
“No I did not—”
“Everyone just shut up.” the mother interrupts before the endless, pointless bickering between the
two can go for any longer. “I want to congratulate you two properly, Taehyung’s been so happy
ever since he moved in with you, we could see the glint in his eyes when he talked about you way
before you two even started dating so it’s… so adorable how it ended up working between you
two. Thank you for making my son happy, respecting him and thank you so much for looking after
him.” she says, voice as soft as ever.
“I mean… he’s the one looking after me but I’ll take it.” Jungkook says with a smile and the other
two can’t help but to notice Taehyung’s heart eyes as he watches him speak. He looks as though
Jungkook puts the stars up in his sky. They’re not surprised when Taehyung leans closer to press a
kiss to his cheek.
“You can’t kiss before marriage, what are you doing?”
Taehyung snorts. “Dad—”
“We’ve been doing all sorts of kissing.” Jungkook says, unbothered, trying to actually join their
lips but Taehyung leans away, almost falling backwards onto the couch. “Will you do this during
your speech?” he asks, eyeing the computer.
“I get a speech?!” the man’s face lights up.
“You will if I get to kiss my fiancé.” Taehyung offers.
“But Jesus wouldn’t like to see that.” his mother facepalms, unsure of what to even say to get them
to stop bickering again. It’s useless to nudge him with her elbow, that has been attempted one too
many times already. None worked.
“Little do you know—” Taehyung grabs the computer, getting up and rushing away, almost
running out of the room. “Baby, no, return!”
“You two have to stop provoking him, he has no filters!” he whisper yells as soon as he reaches the
hall.
“We just really like him, he’s so fun and nice, he’s always smiling and he actually has good humor,
besides treating you so well… you can actually crack some jokes with him, he’s not like what was
his name again.” Taehyung sighs.
“Don’t even mention him… but did I tell you guys that I slapped him?” he perks up.
“He told me!” he hears from the outside of the room as he plops himself onto the bed. Jungkook is
soon opening the door and climbing on the bed next to him and he deems his attempt of escape as
useless.
“I’ve wanted to punch him one too many times as well so… you did great, Taehyungie.” his
mother claps. “But let’s not talk about useless things… Jungkookie, we know you were away to
cure a big issue you were facing… are you doing alright now?”
“Yeah… I’m doing really good. I haven’t known what’s like to be sober in so many years it’s still
crazy to think that I am, in fact, over it. And it’s all thanks to this man right here.” he smiles, facing
his fiancé with the biggest smile he can pull off. “I’m sober and engaged, that’s all that matters
right now.” it’s almost a whisper as he combs Taehyung’s bangs away, almost forgetting the other
two.
“What about your parents? What did they say about the whole thing?” the reaction is immediate,
both his hand and his smile falling, eyes moving to the keyboard instead. He can feel all of them
looking at him and he chews on his bottom lip. “Was— Was it something I said…?” the dad asks.
Taehyung places a hand on his forearm, thumb slowly caressing his skin reassuringly. “Both of my
parents died when I was little.” Jungkook says — half a lie — after mustering his courage and
Taehyung’s chest feels tight with pride. Jungkook has come so far and he’s so proud of him he
feels like his chest could burst.
“We’re… sorry to hear that. But you have us now, son, and we’re here for you just as much as
we’re here for Taehyungie. You’re family too.” that word. Said so carelessly and easily has him
gaping. Son. He can feel the tears already coming to him and they’re not sad tears but he’s not sure
of what emotion he’s feeling, either.
“I’m—” he turns to Taehyung. “I’m going to go feed Moon…” Taehyung gives him a nods and a
smile, understanding that he needs a moment alone.
His father waits until the door closes before he speaks again. “Is he upset? I really didn’t know…
it’s something so tragic, I wouldn’t bring it up.”
“No, he’s happy, dad, don’t worry.”
“Are you sure? He looked so sad…” she asks.
“He’s just a little overwhelmed to hear you calling him son, family is a really sensitive topic for
him. He’s happy, trust me on this one.” Taehyung reassures. “He hasn’t been called that in a really
long time, just hit him a little harder, that’s all.”
“We really like him, Tae, we don’t want to upset him, he’s the best son in law you could get us.”
Taehyung smiles. “Do all sorts of kissing once you end the call and make sure he’s not upset,
alright?”
Taehyung laughs. “Will do.”
│►
Jungkook turns the page of one his college books as he reads it over, making sure he still
remembers it correctly. He looks up once he hears a faint scream from the bathroom and he’s
confused. He doesn’t really have time to get up and go offer help once a dripping wet Taehyung
covered by nothing but a towel around his hips appears.
“Can you come here for a second?” he gestures towards the bathroom and Jungkook follows his
hand, confused. “Please, hyungie, come here.” Jungkook puts the book down to follow him into
the bathroom, Taehyung standing behind him.
“What am I looking at?” he asks.
“I really, really don’t care for bugs or anything like that but spiders scare me a little bit, like a lot,
and there’s one on the corner of the tub.” Taehyung points with his finger. “I don’t understand
what they need eight legs for and three hundred eyes, please, just kill it so that I can continue my
shower.”
Jungkook steps closer to be able to see the spider, the poor animal looking nothing but harmless. “I
can’t kill it, it probably has kids somewhere here and we can’t separate kids from their mothers,
they will grow to be traumatized. Trust me, I’m speaking from experience.” he says as he goes
back to his boyfriend.
“Then kill the whole family, I don’t care, get that away.”
“I’m getting married to a sociopath—”
“Can you please just kill it?” Taehyung grips onto his shirt, tugging on it. “I want to finish my
shower and I won’t be able to knowing that thing is there.” he pouts, trying to persuade him with
his puppy eyes.
“Ok, now you’re being too much, you can go shower in two other tubs.” Jungkook tries his best
not to laugh at his affronted expression. “There’s enough room in the apartment for the two of us
and an innocent spider.”
Taehyung huffs, reaching for the hand held shower head before turning the water on and aiming it
at the insect that soon is dragged to the drain. “Okay.” he tells himself, letting the water run for a
few seconds directly on the drain before turning it off.
“I can’t believe you just— why would you kill that poor thing?!” he asks in an almost shriek.
“I solved the problem myself.” he explains. “Now shoo, get out, I have a shower to finish.”
Taehyung leads him by his shoulders until he’s standing on the outside, waving before closing the
door.
“I hope it crawls back.”
“Jungkook!”
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss
◄│ 88 │►
Chapter Notes
Jungkook stops, stepping back to check the number of the door he’s opening once he sees a small
fluffy creature running towards him. He’s one second away from stepping on it, wondering how a
rat got into the apartment, when Taehyung comes running after it.
He picks the creature up. “Did you seriously get us another cat?” Jungkook asks as he closes the
door, unable to believe what he’s seeing.
“It’s a dog!” Taehyung smiles, pushing said animal close to him. Jungkook eyes it for a long
minute. It sure looks like a dog, now that he admires it. It looks like he has angry eyebrows and
Jungkook isn’t sure of what to think of that.
“That tiny thing shouldn’t really be considered a dog but that’s beside the point, which is that you
can’t just bring pets home like this.” he says, frowning a little, but he still leans in to kiss
Taehyung’s cheek followed by a peck to his lips.
“But he’s so cute…” Taehyung whispers as he puts him down, who immediately bites into
Jungkook’s ankle. “Oh—” he rushes to pick the animal up again. “He’s sensing your hate, he’s
being protective of his father.”
“That thing really isn’t a damn dog—”
“Yes it is! His name is Yeontan. He’s a small, really cute dog, to pay company to your… horse of
a dog.” the blonde giggles, putting him down again. This time he just sits down, tongue peeking
out, looking up at the older male.
“I’m going to ignore you called Moon a horse for the sake of our engagement.” he jokes,
examining the dog’s looking like eyebrows again. “Tae, he looks like he wants the both of us dead,
why— where’s my baby? Why isn’t she greeting me?”
“Tan bit her tail and she’s been in the bedroom ever since.” Taehyung admits as he scratches the
back of his neck. “I read dogs can take a while to get used to each other…”
“You— that’s it, you’re both grounded.” Jungkook tries to step away, though he trips as Yeontan
runs in front of his feet. “Fuck—”
“You can’t ground me, I’m twenty six!” Taehyung defends. “You’ll learn to love him…” he says
as he holds onto Jungkook’s forearm, tugging on it to make him look back. “Baby…” Taehyung
pouts, his puppy eyes coming to play again.
“Tae, you know I’m a dog guy, I love dogs, don’t get me wrong, but… actual dogs. You know, big
dogs, dogs I can playfully slap their butt and they’ll enjoy it and not break a paw. I love dogs, not
that cat looking like animal.” Jungkook explains as best as he can.
“He’s cute.” Taehyung still tries.
“No, you’re cute, that thing looks rabid.”
“Are you comparing your fiancé to a dog?” he gapes.

“That’s not a dog, I’ll move out for him to stay.”
“Stop…!” Taehyung weakly punches him on the chest, keeping his hand there after. “Can we
please keep him…? He’s an adorable dog.” Jungkook sighs. “You didn’t like Simba either and you
grew to love him. Or to at least accept his existence.”
“I thought Simba was a female?”
“I don’t know either, I say whatever comes first— But the point is, two days after almost killing
me for getting Simba, you were cuddling her… him… whatever, it, so you can start to love a small
dog too.” he tries to persuade, his hands fixing Jungkook’s collar.
“We can’t keep another dog, Tae, how can we know he’s going to go well with Simba when she or
he appears?” Jungkook combs his bangs away as Taehyung pouts. “Don’t.” his pout intensifies.
“Baby, find him a place, ask Jimin if he wants a dog or something, we don’t have time for a
puppy…”
“Okay…” Taehyung deflates.
“Don’t be all upset, please. I’m going to take a shower but I’ll be right back and I can help you
finding him a home where he will be loved and very well taken care of.” he cups Taehyung’s cheek
before kissing him. “Don’t frown.”
“I’m not frowning.” Jungkook raises an eyebrow. “Ok, I’m frowning a little bit, but it’s okay, we’ll
find him a good place.” he smiles. “Go enjoy your shower, babe, I’ll call Jimin.” there’s a kiss to
his forehead before Jungkook pulls back.
“I’ll be right back.”
│►
Jungkook’s startled as the shower curtain gets pulled back, his arm immediately covering his
abdomen from Taehyung’s sight, but his boyfriend is very much only looking at his face, biggest
puppy eyes ever. “Tae, I’m literally—” Taehyung pouts. “I’m currently naked.”
“Yes, I can see.” the blonde nods.
“This is not appropriate for a conversation.” Jungkook stops the water, still trying to cover himself
as much as possible. He doesn’t like the feeling one bit. He’s never felt the need to cover up in his
life before.
“I’ll join you if we get to keep him…”
“Are you bribing me with these things now?” Jungkook’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise.
“I just— I feel so bad! Oh, hyungie, please, I can’t return him and Jiminie said they can’t get a
dog!” he says, eyes scrunching closed, hands together in a silent beg. Jungkook sighs.
“Baby, I’m not doing this to be mean or to get anything from you but if Moon has already shown
discomfort and Simba hasn’t even appeared yet, then what do we do? I’m not making Moon stay in
the bedroom forever and we can’t have a dog biting a cat, as little as the dog may be, his bites can
hurt Simba.” Jungkook tries to rationalize, voice quieter.
Taehyung’s shoulders fall. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think it through very well, I thought you’d be ok
with it because you like dogs and— Moon could like a friend and— I’m sorry, hyung.”
“Oh, no, baby, don’t apologize, it’s ok. Don’t apologize, it was cute that you thought of this and if
you already love him then I’d eventually be ok with it after being dramatic for a while, I didn’t
want Simba either and here we are. But Moon, Tae… she barely even greeted me, kept looking at
the bedroom door. She’s nervous and scared. Moon’s my baby, you know that… you can’t ask me
to ignore her.”
“Well, Moon comes first so… I’ll just see if I can find him an owner.” Taehyung half smiles.
“Resume your shower, honey.”
“Baby…”
“No, no, it’s fine, don’t worry.” Jungkook sags a little once the curtain is pulled into place again
and he sighs when he hears the door closing. He knows Taehyung’s upset over having to find
someone else to take the new pet, but he’d never put another animal before Moon.
And he knows Taehyung understands it and that’s the only reason he doesn’t leave his shower
immediately to go comfort his boyfriend. They could find him a good, loving home. Just not theirs.
Moon comes first.
│►
Jungkook lays down in bed, pulling the covers up again, up to his shoulders and therefore
Taehyung’s hips once he’s sitting with his back against the headboard, book in hands. “What is
that you’re reading?” he asks, looking up.
“Just some notes for tomorrow’s patients.” Taehyung shrugs. “There’s a new one which means I
forget little details the most so I’m reviving my memory.”
“Did you do that with me?” Jungkook asks, curious.
“You didn’t give me anything to remember.” he points out with a giggle. Jungkook looks away for
a second.
“You know what, you’re not wrong.” Jungkook agrees. “But at the same time, it was the little
details you easily forget that I told you about when I first went to therapy, I’m pretty sure of that.”
“Well…” Taehyung stares ahead, thinking. “I felt like the small details to anyone else were huge to
you given I didn’t know the extent to what happened to you in the past.” he looks down at the
older man. “You were the biggest mystery ever.”
“Really?” he pouts his lips. “I reckon I was probably really annoying in the beginning…”
“No, you weren’t. You were interesting.” Taehyung closes his notepad, putting it down on the
nightstand. “I’d often go home to my amazing fiancé to think about you and the things you’d say
during our meetings.”
“The sarcasm is impeccable.” Jungkook allows the other to cuddle into him, their legs tangling up.
“I’d go home thinking about you too, actually. The amount of times Moon has listened to me
plotting how to get you away from Hyungsik is… I can’t even count.”
“That’s honestly so sweet…” he pouts, leaning closer to press a kiss to the other’s forehead. “I love
you, you’re such a good person, we weren’t even close and you wanted to— Gosh, I love you.”
“I am flattered that you think me being nosy as fuck was a good thing.” Jungkook chuckles, joining
their lips. “I love you too.” he whispers. “How was work today? Anything interesting?”
“Uh, I feel like saying no is kind of rude in my line of work but… no.” Taehyung giggles,
snuggling closer, their noses touching. “Anything interesting in your day? You didn’t tell me how
your trip to the park went like.”
“It was ok. I took a few pictures… there were many kids, though, so I stopped, because I felt like
people could think I was taking pictures of them.” he shrugs. “I enjoyed it, it’s good being back…”
“I’m glad you had a good time. And I want to see the pictures tomorrow, you always take great
ones.” Taehyung combs his bangs away, joining their lips again. And again. And again. It gets
slower, the kisses longer and deeper.
Taehyung’s hands sneak inside his shirt, purely for the warmth, but it has Jungkook breaking away,
hands pulling Taehyung’s wrists carefully from his torso.
“Are you alright?” Taehyung asks.
“Mhm, just sleepy.” he says with a little smile but it doesn’t seem to convince the other. Taehyung
opens his mouth, though he’s interrupted by Moon jumping between them, almost pawing at their
stomachs.
Jungkook is thankful for her appearance, he’s not ready for such conversation. Especially when he
knows there’s the heavy possibility of Taehyung even agreeing to what he’s thinking.
“Can you turn around?” Jungkook asks with a smile, relieved as Taehyung does so without
questioning, and so he drags himself closer to back hug him. “I forgot to tell you I got my necklace
fixed.”
“Did you?” Taehyung whispers, relaxing in his arms.
“Mhm.” he kisses the skin right behind the blonde’s ear. “I have to get it from the store in two
days.”
“That’s good, hyungie.” Jungkook hums. “We should sleep if you’re tired, good night.”
“Night.” he pulls Taehyung closer. “I love you.”
“Love you too.”
│►
Jungkook sits up, alarmed, already reaching for Taehyung’s body to protect him from whatever is
waking him up so harshly, only to find the spot next to him empty and said male shaking him
aggressively by the shoulders. “Do you realize you were a second away from being punched in the
face?” he says as he relaxes back onto the bed.
“You’d never.” Taehyung giggles.
“I would, I thought I was about to be murdered.” Jungkook groans, rolling over in bed to hug
Taehyung’s pillow, but there’s a hand poking at his ribs continuously. “Tae… it’s Saturday, just
lay down, c’mon.” Taehyung yelps as he’s pulled by the wrist until he’s lying in bed, manhandled
into a comfortable cuddling position.
“No…!” he whines. “You have to see something important, please, get up.” Jungkook just hums.
“Baby… I want to show you something, it’s really important.” he slips from under Jungkook’s
weight, sliding onto the floor before pulling himself up. “C’mon.”
Jungkook huffs as he pushes the covers away, leaving the bed with an eye closed, allowing the
younger to lead him out of the bedroom by the hand. He does his best not to trip on the way to the
living room. Taehyung just stops then.
“What am I looking at?” he asks, voice groggy.
“Are you serious— they’re cuddling!” the younger gestures towards the couch where Moon says,
completely stretched out and comfortable, Yeontan curled up in front of her stomach. “Even Simba
is right there.” the cat lays on the center table, on top of Jungkook’s books, and he curses the
animal silently.
“Ok. They’re cuddling.” Jungkook nods, rubbing his eyes to be able to see it properly.
“See, they like each other.” Taehyung tugs at his shirt.
“It appears to be like so, yes.” he watches as Yeontan falls from the couch once Moon shifts her
position, pawing his smaller body away, but wakes up as soon as she hears his whines. “She just
pushed him away.” Jungkook informs.
“Did she really?” Taehyung turns towards the couch as well and they both watch quietly as Moon
leans to bite him on the back of his neck, only to pull him up back onto the couch. She lays her
head again afterwards, seemingly back to sleep. “That was adorable.”
“I… I can agree with that.” Jungkook nods, closing his eyes as Taehyung kisses his cheek multiple
times. “What are you trying to do?” he asks with a chuckle.
“Nothing.” he sing songs. “Can we keep him? Can we? Please, please?”
Jungkook sighs, a little exaggerated. “Fine. But if he bites by dog again, I don’t care if Moon is…
fifty times his size, I’ll bite him back.” Taehyung laughs, kissing his cheek again, followed by a
kiss to the forehead and one to the bridge of his nose.
“Thank you, hyungie.” Jungkook smiles, his smile lazy and tired. He looks adorable when he’s
sleepy. “Go back to bed, I’ll make us some coffee.”
“Do you want help?”
“No, no, just go lay down.” he ruffles his hair. “I’ll be there in a minute.”
│►
Taehyung enters the bedroom with two coffee mugs, allowing Yeontan go to in as well. He helps
the struggling dog to get onto the bed, placing the mugs down on his nightstand, watching Yeontan
sniff around the lump right at the center.
Jungkook’s laying on his back, eyes closed.
The puppy tries to jump to his chest, though he slips, accidentally jumping on his throat. Jungkook
chokes. “What the fuck—” his eyes shoot open, Yeontan now happily sat on his chest, looking
down at him with his tongue hanging out.
“See, he’s just trying to get love from you.” Taehyung comments, running a hand down the pet’s
back as he sits down. Jungkook scoffs.
“He bit my ankle the second he saw me and now he’s tried to choke me. He’s trying to kill me,
that’s what he’s trying to do. You’ve adopted a home wrecker.” the blonde laughs with the mug to
his lips, almost spitting the hot coffee everywhere.
Jungkook laughs too, though quietly, bopping the dog’s nose so that he can sit up. He turns his
back towards his boyfriend as Yeontan tries to climb onto his nightstand. He tickles him,
provoking the little dog as he chews on his fingers playfully.
His smile grows when he feels Taehyung’s head laying on his back, arms loosely around his body.
He kisses his shoulder over the shirt he’s worn to bed. “Good morning, baby.” Jungkook greets,
given he hadn’t said it before.
Taehyung chuckles. “We’ve been awake for some time.” he runs his hands across Jungkook’s
shoulders blades, ending up digging his fingers on his tense shoulders, in some sort of slow
massage that has Jungkook’s mouth opening in a silent pleasured sound. “You’re really tense,
hyung.”
“Maybe I’m just— hm, right there— I’m just old.” Taehyung giggles, moving his fingers slowly to
the juncture of his shoulders with his neck, rubbing his thumb in circular motions. “I’m a father of
four now, this is getting to me.”
“Four?” he asks. “We only have three pets.”
“Duh, you.” Jungkook throws his head back as Taehyung’s thumb digs onto a sore spot. “Five if
you count Eunjae on the list.” he chases after the other’s fingers when he pulls back, but he’s only
handed his mug before the hands are back to his shoulders.
“I never knew you liked my massages this much.” Taehyung chuckles. “Also… will you go to a
pet store with me after lunch? I have to buy things for him. Especially food, he can’t eat Moon’s.
The store gave me a little bag but it doesn’t have much.”
“I can’t believe you really got us another fucking dog— you’re absolutely insane.” he runs a hand
over his face. “I don’t know how to train a dog now, who’s going to teach him the basics?”
Jungkook asks.
“You taught Moon so much, thought.”
“Because I’d sit down on the floor with her for hours at the apartment, it was different. We can just
put him on a dog school, actually.” Jungkook concludes. “I hope this thing learns to only pee
outside quickly, if I step on pee and my sock gets wet, we’ll have a problem.”
“Baby— C’mon, it’s a puppy.” Taehyung laughs. “We have to be patient!”
“How did you even get him?”
“Well...”
│►
“What collars are better? It’s a smaller dog, should it still be the same style as Moon’s?” Taehyung
asks as he eyes all of them, Jungkook walking closer. “And before you ask, yes, you’re the dog
expert.”
“I mean— I’m not but I’ll take it. All chest collars are better because you won't be pulling at their
necks.” he explains, looking at some of the larger collars. “Now that you mention, Moon could use
a new leash, too.”
“Ah, yes, pick whatever you want for her, I noticed the stitches were coming off on her leash.”
Taehyung says as he picks a yellow collar for Yeontan, placing it on the cart. He can see Jungkook
checking the prices instead of just picking what he actually likes and it has him frowning a little.
Especially when Jungkook picks one up but puts it down again after checking the price. When
Jungkook tries picking another one, Taehyung decides he should speak.
“Why that one? She’s a lady, the pink fits her the best.” Jungkook just shrugs.
“This one is cheaper.” he’s honest.
“But you were looking at the pink one. It’s only six more bucks, get it.” Taehyung encourages, still
trying not to be too crowding. “I like the pink one better, too.”
“Tae, my bank account is going to cry if I just start spending money like I have it.”
Taehyung giggles. “Don’t worry about paying.” he says as he turns around towards the food,
picking up one of the bags to read over the ingredients and the benefits it has. Jungkook turns him
back so that they’re facing each other.
“We have to get an actual first rule in our relationship, you have to stop spending so much, I know
you like to and I know it’s something you enjoy doing but it makes me feel so bad.” he frowns.
“Is Moon ours?” Taehyung asks, simply.
“I— What? Yes, of course she is. She’s our baby.” Jungkook tilts his head.
“Then I want us to buy her the leash that we think fits her best, and we both agree that the pink one
is prettier. So, don’t worry about the money, I wouldn’t offer if I couldn’t afford it.” he leans closer
to peck his cheek, Jungkook’s lips puckering out.
Taehyung watches with a smile as Jungkook places the pink leash on the cart, trailing after him
towards the bags of food.
“Don’t look so pouty… if it upsets you we can just get another one, hyung, I just want us to get her
the best we can provide.”
“I’m not upset… I’m just scared you may feel or start thinking that I need the money. I don’t, I just
need you.” Jungkook sighs, holding the bag Taehyung hands him to read over.
“And that’s exactly why I think you deserve everything.” Taehyung smiles. “Now, is that food
good for a puppy?”
“You’re going to start giving me grey hairs.” he jokes.
“You’re already at the age so…”
“What the—”
│►
Chapter End Notes
Short update but... let's discuss

◄│ 89 │►
Chapter Notes
It’s a bad day, Jungkook feels as soon as he wakes up. The feeling on his chest is one he’s already
way too familiar with but that isn’t there all the time anymore. But it’s there. He gets up,
untangling himself from Taehyung’s hold. He pets a sleepy Yeontan on the foot of the bed, already
quite fond of the dog.
It’s impossible for him to leave the bed without pressing a kiss to Taehyung’s forehead first, but
he’s soon making the way to the bathroom afterwards. He has his first day back to work and his
first consultation back with Namjoon.
He’s looking forward to the latter.
He needs to get a lot off of his chest.
As he washes his hands after emptying his bladder, he finds himself looking at his own reflection.
His face looks chubbier. He looks way healthier, yes, but that image of himself isn’t something
he’s used to. At all.
He twists his head in multiple directions to see how his jawline looks and he’s content that at least
that didn’t go away. He didn’t watch his food at all while in the rehabilitation center, he didn’t
work out and his body couldn’t have possibly stayed the same without him putting the same work
he did almost daily.
Jungkook lifts his shirt then. He looks… flat. Healthy, yes, but flat. And he really doesn’t like it,
he’s grown used to a certain image of himself, the one that he knows looks best on him, the one
that he’s proud of. It makes him feel almost guilty for losing it.
He lets go of his shirt when he hears steps, so he resumes to wash his hands. “Oh—” Taehyung lets
out an adorable — if you ask Jungkook — sound of surprise once he sees him there. “Morning,
hyungie.” he greets, sleepy.
“Morning, baby.” Jungkook smiles, watching him through the mirror as he rubs his tired eyes.
“How did you sleep?” he asks, drying his hands on the towel.
“Hm… really well…” Taehyung drags his words out as he reaches for the older man, hugging him
from the back, as he always does. He leaves a little kiss to the back of his neck before laying his
head, eyes closing again. “What about you?”
“Hm, I woke up to Tan licking my forehead but I just went right back to sleep.” he says with a
chuckle, making the younger laugh, chest vibrating against his back. “I’m seeing Namjoon today.”
Jungkook states in a soft whisper.
“Are you?” a nod. “That’s good, hyungie.” Taehyung praises, accommodating himself further into
Jungkook’s shoulder. “Are you alright? You sound a bit off… is it a tough day?”
“Not so much.” Jungkook sighs. “Just a little gloomy, that’s all.”
“Would some coffee help?” Taehyung asks as he places a few kisses to Jungkook’s shoulder,
trying to sooth him as much as possible. “Some hot coffee and whatever you feel like eating today,
hm?”
“I am a bit hungry, actually.” he smiles. Taehyung pats his stomach then and Jungkook almost
feels bad for pulling away but he deems the movement as smooth enough. He kisses Taehyung’s
forehead before leaving the bathroom, wanting nothing but to go to the kitchen instead, but he
doesn’t see the way Taehyung’s shoulder sag.
He’s confused.
He’s starting to feel like Jungkook is really pushing him away whenever he even tries to get
touchy. They’ve always been like that, they’ve always touched each other innocently, and there’s
never been a problem, so he doesn’t understand why Jungkook has suddenly shifted like that.
There must be something really bothering him.
It couldn’t possibly be Jungkook. He’s always been so comfortable with himself, something
Taehyung admires a lot, so it only leaves it to him.
He then stares back to the mirror, eyeing himself. He doesn’t see any change, he looks about the
same, so he doesn’t get it. Has he become unattractive to his fiancé? He knows that’s not an
impossible thing to happen, Hyungsik has preached many times about not finding him attractive
while they were together.
That could be it.
His mood goes down all of a sudden.
He’s not too excited for that morning coffee anymore.
│►
“Hey, Joon.” Jungkook smiles as he peeks his head inside the room, going inside right away. His
therapist gets up, smile already bright on his face, outstretching his arm for Jungkook to shake his
hand.
“It’s great to have you back here.” Namjoon comments. “Please, take a seat.” he gestures and
Jungkook does as he’s told. “How have you been doing back on the outside?” Namjoon asks as he
opens his notepad, Jungkook twirling his engagement ring — well, the earring — on his finger.
“I’m feeling great, I just left work to come here and I’ll be going back after, I missed it a lot. Tae
got us a new puppy, he’s really cute… The new place is amazing, I’m sober, engaged… got a
promotion at work too and just— it’s going well.” he smiles.
“But…?” his smile falls.
“Uh… how do I even put this to words.” he sighs. “When I returned, Tae and I made up for the
time lost, I hope you know what I mean…” Namjoon nods, gesturing him to go on. “But since
then, I’ve been feeling a little weird when touched. I know I’ve only been back for a week but… I
notice it a lot because I push Tae away.”
“What do you mean weird?” Namjoon asks.
“I’ve always had a motto, I may be depressed but at least I’m hot, and my looks have been the only
thing I’m happy with within myself for the past— since forever, actually. And this may sound
really fucking superficial and stupid because hell, I’m twenty eight, but I feel really weird about
this, about not looking like how I used to.” Jungkook explains before he hides his face with both of
his hands with a sigh.
“And so you’ve been pushing Taehyung away?” Jungkook nods. “Did he ever mention it? Did he
tell you or comment anything that could’ve triggered this?”
“No, no, he really didn’t. That’s the thing, he hugs me and touches me as he’s always done and
he’s seemingly super ok with… this, me not being as fit, having a rounder face and all of that. He
didn’t say anything. It’s really just me up here—” he touches his temple. “—as per usual.” he
chuckles, a little awkward.
“Well… I can say that I do understand why you’re feeling like this. For a long time you’ve believed
all you had were your looks — and let me already take the moment to correct you on that one,
you’re an amazing person, amazing friend and the most amazing fiancé as far as I know — so
having that suddenly… taken away in your eyes, it’s bound to make you feel conscious.” Namjoon
rationalizes.
“I just feel really stupid for even allow myself to be affected by this shit.” Jungkook sighs. “It’s
something easily fixable, I just have to go back to working out as I used to, so I really don’t know
why my head’s being so mean about this to the point where I honestly feel weird about letting Tae
touch me or see this.” he gestures towards his torso.
“You know Taehyung better than I do, you know better than anyone how he’s so caring and
understanding about whatever it may be. You should take this to him and tell him how you feel
because even if it’s something that wouldn’t seem deep to someone else, to you, who thinks that’s
all you have, is a big thing. And he’ll understand it.”
“I… I know I should tell him but it also feels kind of immature to stand in front of him complaining
about the fact that my jawline isn’t as sharp as it was three months ago or that— you get the point.”
“It’s not immature. If it affects you, it affects you. Period. Taehyung knows that, and we both
know he’s going to do nothing but reassure you. So I’m telling you both from a therapist and a
friend perspective, sit him down to talk about it.” Namjoon advises. “It doesn’t even have to be a
big conversation, if you don’t want it to, just bring it up.”
“You're right.” he nods, hand tugging at his hair. “It’s stupid to be upset over this but it’s even most
stupid to feel as though I can’t talk to Tae about it.” Namjoon has to stop himself from smiling
widely.
“You two are… an amazing support system for each other. In my twenty six years of life, never did
I ever hear about someone with such relationship, you two are really one of a kind.” he comments,
proud. “Just the fact that you both know you can talk to the other about everything makes me so
happy for you two.”
“We’ve… come a long way. I’m so proud of our relationship, if I’m being honest, I have no idea
how I was able to find myself a Taehyung.”
“Do you believe in destiny?” Jungkook shakes his head with a light scoff. “You should. You two
found each other when you needed each other the most, only to end up together in such pure
relationship even after the poor way your first meeting ten years ago was. If destiny is a thing,
which I’m sure it is, this is it.” Namjoon says as he writes down on his notes.
“You’re making me rethink it now.” he admits.
Namjoon laughs quietly. “Then I’m more than glad that I can open your eyes about destiny.”
│►
Jungkook pats Moon on the top of her head, doing the same with Yeontan who’s all cuddled up to
her again and he would do the same to Simba if the poor animal weren’t missing. As per usual.
He turns off the lights before heading towards the bedroom. The door is already open and his feet
stop once he sees Taehyung looking at himself in front of a mirror, shirt up to his chest, pinching
his stomach.
He rushes to get behind him, pulling his shirt down. “Don’t do that, you’re absolutely perfect.”
Jungkook whispers, keeping Taehyung’s hands away from pinching himself again.
“Then why aren’t you attracted to me anymore?” he asks as he turns his head towards him,
Jungkook furrowing his eyebrows, confused. “Ever since you came back you’re— I don’t know…
We were intimate the day you returned but then I feel like you’ve been pushing me away whenever
I touch you… and most of the times I do it without second intentions and you still push me away.”
Taehyung explains. “If you don’t find me attractive, you can tell me, because I know you love me
so I’ll just try to—“
“No! No, baby, no, it’s not you.” Jungkook rushes to interrupt, turning him around so that they’re
facing each other properly. “It’s me, I feel weird the way I look right now and it got to me, I’m
sorry that you thought you had to change anything, you’re perfect, ok? In whatever shape, you’ll
never not be perfect in my eyes.” he cups Taehyung’s cheek.
Taehyung’s eyes fall down his body, scanning him. “But that doesn’t make sense… you’ve always
been so confident about your looks, what changed?”
“You can’t tell me you don’t notice I’ve put on weight.”
“No, I can see it. You look way healthier now, I just didn’t think it was a bad thing at all…? You
look like you’ve been eating properly and without any substance messing you up. Which is what’s
happening.” Taehyung explains as he places his hands on Jungkook’s hips with a frown.
“Yeah but… I don’t like it. On myself, that is. I want and like to look a certain way and— look at
my face, it’s so much chubbier, my jawline isn’t as there as it was… my abdomen isn’t as defined,
my thighs look even bigger, I just feel weird, I don’t like it. I feel ugly, honestly, and that’s why I
pushed you away. Nothing else. You’re not the problem, baby.”
“Hyung… I know you, there’s something else. You can work out again and get your body back if
that’s what you want, so what’s bothering you so much about gaining some weight?” Jungkook
sighs. He’s forgotten how transparent he has become for Taehyung.
He sits down on the bed, hand tugging at his hair, a little stressed. “I don’t know how to explain it.
It’s— You deserve so much, you deserve everything good and I, I mean, I’m— We both know
how fucked up I am, but at least I had my looks and now I don’t so you’re engaged to me and
there’s like… no fucking positives on this for you and this sounds so superficial but— but it’s not
—”
Taehyung grabs his hands, trying to get them away from the anxious grip on his hair. “Stop, stop
hurting yourself— Listen to me.” he says as he’s able to take a hold of them, intertwining their
fingers right away in order to keep them down. “I didn’t say yes to your proposal because I wanted
to be married to a certain body. I said yes because I want to be married to you, however you look,
because I love you. I feel like crying hearing you say this.”
Jungkook allows the other to straddle him, sitting down on his lap comfortably, still holding his
hands down.
“You’re so, so attractive, Jungkook. I mean it.”
“I look—”
“No, you don’t.” Taehyung stops him. “You don’t. You just look healthier, you still look the same.
I’m not saying this just to make you feel better, I really mean it. You look perfect.” he cups both of
his cheeks, leaning in to kiss him, moving to his forehead, where he kisses him multiple times. “I
love you so much, hyung.”
Jungkook closes his eyes tight.
“We’re engaged, you’re sober, healthy. And I want you, no one else. Please, stop doubting
yourself. you’re so kind, and you love others so much, you make me feel safe and wanted, you
helped Jae, you got me away from Hyungsik, gave me a home, you’re polite, and gentle, and don’t
get me started on how beautiful you are on the outside. I love you so much, Jungkook, please,
please accept that I love you more than anything. You’re worth it. You’ve always been worth it.
You’re so much more than your looks, as amazing as they may be.”
Taehyung pushes him by the shoulders until he’s laying down. He cuddles onto him, holding him
close.
“I know you have your bad days, I know sometimes you get thoughts that your mind creates really
just to bring you down, but—”
“You know I’ll always feel like that, right? And I’m so fucking sorry, Tae, us getting married
means you’re going to have to deal with this forever and you really shouldn’t have to put yourself
through it. What makes me feel worse isn’t even what has me upset, is the fact that I’m upset to
begin with. You don’t deserve to—”
“Baby.” Taehyung interrupts with a whisper. “If my insecurities are ok, then so are yours. They’re
only here now and they’re only this strong because you’re guilt tripping yourself for feeling like
this. I’m here for you like you’re here for me, and don’t think we aren’t happy just because you
have bad days. I love you, you love me, that’s all we need to be happy.”
“Are you sure? I’ll understand if you ever tell me that you— that you want something else,
someone to give you emotional stability, I’ll understand.” Taehyung pulls away to look into his
eyes. He’s not surprised to see little tears in the corners of Jungkook’s eyes.
“If you hadn’t asked me to marry you that day, I would’ve bought a ring and asked you myself by
now. I’m a hundred percent sure this is what I want.” he reassures, smiling down at him.
“Okay.” Jungkook whispers with a nod.
“Okay.” Taehyung whispers back, taking a hand to the other’s hair. “I love you.”
Jungkook sniffs. “I love you too.”
│►
“Baby…” Taehyung whispers by his ear as he slowly rocks him, Jungkook fast asleep in the
middle of the bed, though his feet are on the floor and he’s still in his outside clothes. “Jungkookie,
wake up…” the other hums, eyes fluttering open. “Hey.” he whispers.
“Hey.” Jungkook whispers back. His eyes look more focused than they did before his nap and it
has Taehyung smiling.
“I prepared a bath.” Taehyung informs, pushing his hair back. “It even has bubbles.” he whispers
as his fingers run down Jungkook’s face as he traces his nose, down to tracing his lips. “Come with
me.” he gets up, offering his hand for Jungkook to take.
He eyes it for a second before grabbing it, pulling himself up as well. He follows Taehyung into
the bathroom, the blonde closing the door behind them to keep their pets away. Jungkook’s
surprised to be met by scented candles lit around the bathroom.
Taehyung kisses his forehead before taking a hand to the hem of his shirt, silent request being
answered by a simple nod. Taehyung pulls his shirt off, Jungkook’s eyes falling down on himself.
“I look lazy.” he comments, patting his own abdomen.
“If my opinion counts for anything at all, I think you look really, really attractive as you always
do.” Taehyung says, voice clear and certain. “I can see what you’re talking about but—” he pokes
his stomach. “—now you have an actual healthy base for you to do whatever you want to at the
gym. But I think you look good in whatever shape you are, so… to me there’s absolutely no
significant difference. I still love you like this.”
Jungkook helps as Taehyung works on taking his jeans off, climbing onto the bathtub once his
underwear is on the floor as well. He lays down, eyeing the younger. “Won’t you join me?” he
asks, voice soft and quiet.
“Do you want me to?”
“Do you think I’d ever say no to having you in my arms?” Jungkook lets out with a little smile,
resting his head back. Taehyung smiles. Jungkook’s starting to sound more like himself again and
that’s exactly what he wants to achieve.
He takes his shirt off then, placing it next to Jungkook’s. The latter’s eyes lazily follow his
movements as he strips himself bare from his clothes, trying his hardest to remember that it’s just
Jungkook, there’s no need to feel shy or even think of covering up. It’s just Jungkook.
“How was work?” Taehyung asks as he gets two towels to leave them close for easy access
without dripping all over the floor after. Jungkook hums.
“It was ok, I missed Jae and just… people.” he shrugs, separating his legs once Taehyung steps
inside the tub, trying to scoot back as the other tries to sit down between his legs.
“Are you uncomfortable? I can sit opposite from you.” Taehyung asks, looking back at him, one
hand on the leg he has bent.
“No, it’s just— I’m trying to fit you here, my thighs take a lot of space.” he says with a frown.
“They do, they’re so strong.” Taehyung comments, placing a kiss to the one that isn’t under water,
before reaching for the shampoo Jungkook uses. It’s a nice fruity scent that just goes perfect with
everything else Jungkook uses, every scent sweet and light.
“I felt that kiss on my dick, not going to lie.” Taehyung laughs, bubbly and honest.
“There’s my Jungkookie.” he turns around to straddle the older man, squeezing some shampoo
onto the palm of his hand. “Tilt your head for me.” Jungkook does as asked, tilting his head back.
Taehyung takes his hands to the black locks, both quiet as he massages his head in order to wash it
properly.
“Hm…” Jungkook mumbles at the back of his throat. “A shame that I only recently found out how
amazing your massages are.” he says with a smile that gets him a peck to the cheek. “Should’ve
known already, given you play with my hair every waking hour.”
Taehyung goes to speak but he’s stopped by Jungkook’s hands dropping from his hips to his butt,
even if innocently. “Now, what are you doing?” he tugs on Jungkook’s hair to make him open his
eyes.
“Want me to stop?” Taehyung just shakes his head, telling him that’s it’s ok, he doesn’t have to
move his hands away. “You being comfortable with me has got to be the sexiest thing—”
“Sir, I’m trying to wash your hair, shut it.” Jungkook’s eyes open again.
“Did you just— You’re provoking me.” Taehyung giggles, simply grabbing the shower head to
wash away the shampoo from Jungkook’s hair.
“But…” he starts once he’s done with his task, using his hands to squeeze the excessive water from
his hair. “But are you ok? Not even an hour ago you were tearing up because of how terrible you
were feeling and now you’re just… here, joking and being yourself. I love it, but I have to make
sure you’re actually ok and not trying to fool me into thinking you’re fine when you’re not.”
Taehyung asks as he kisses his forehead.
“To be honest with you, I think I may be a bit bipolar.” Taehyung pouts. “I mean it, I'm not feeling
like I absolutely want to die even if I did hours ago. You’ve reassured me as you always do and
yeah, you want to be with me and you love me. I will always have moments and days where I’m
just miserable, but sometimes they go as fast as they come, and that’s fucking weird but it’s how it
is... so with that being said, you should sit on my face tonight and make it all better.” he jokes,
smiling up at his fiancé.
However, “Okay.” Taehyung nods.
Jungkook’s smile falls. “Ok? Ok what?” Taehyung just raises an eyebrow. “Holy shit, are you
serious? This is like Christmas coming early.”
“You don’t even like Chr— oh—” he yelps as Jungkook gets up, helping him to do the same.
Taehyung laughs quietly, drying himself enough to leave the bathroom. “I swear to God, if this is
terrible, I’m going to be so upset.” he allows himself to be guided back to the bedroom by an eager
Jungkook.
“Are you doubting my ass eating abilities?”
“Of course not, I’d never.” Taehyung says, sarcasm dripping from his tone. He watches as
Jungkook gets the pink bottle from his nightstand, combing onto the bed. “How does this work,
though, I— how?”
“May my face be your seat, darling.” he lays down on his back. “Come here.”
│►
“You know what…” Jungkook says as he lays down after rolling over from towering over his
fiancé, both of them panting as they stare at the ceiling. Taehyung just hums, turning his head in
order to face him. “I’ve never done anything the other way around.”
“I’m… not following.” Taehyung says with a frown.
“I hope you take in consideration how hard it is for me to ask you this with a straight face so please
appreciate my next words and take them seriously… I want you to fuck me.” but he snorts, looking
away.
“What— Hyung— I’ve never done anything the other way around either, if you want to try I’m
surely not the person to show you, I’m not sure of what to do.” Taehyung holds himself on his
forearm to be able to face him correctly. Jungkook chews on the inside of his cheek, thinking of his
next words.
“I’ve never been on the receiving end and I just… if there’s anyone I’d want to try it, it would be
you.”
“Are you asking this out of vulnerability? Because if you want to, then that’s one thing, if you feel
like you have to or something, that’s a completely different one.” Taehyung says. “I won’t even
consider it if that’s the case, hyung.”
“No, it’s not because of that… it’s— well, I’ve always discarded the possibility because I don’t
like being vulnerable in front of people and I’ve never trusted anyone I’ve been with to that point.
But you’re different. Now if you don’t want to—”
Taehyung places a finger on his lips. “I’m just making sure your mind is on the right place.” he
whispers. “But if it is and you’re sure then… I’ll admit I’m worried I may hurt you or something.”
“Well, if you agree to this, I'll guide you and we'll figure it out... I've been curious about it for a
while, I can’t lie. You trust me with your body every time we do something, and I want to put the
same amount of trust on you as well. I’ve never done it and the thought frightens me a bit but it’s
you and I love you and honestly if you don’t want to, it’s ok, I just wanted us to experiment a bit.”
he shrugs.
“We can experiment.” Taehyung nods as he reaches for the same bottle they’ve used previously
and Jungkook’s eyes grow bigger as he holds himself up on his elbows.
“Can you just— go slow, though? Like, gentle.” Jungkook asks, eyes following Taehyung’s
movements like a hawk as he opens the cap.
“I’ll be gentle, I’ll even tell you how pretty you look.” Taehyung smiles and the other just shows
him his tongue before laying back down. “What do I do first…?”
“Just a stick a finger in.” the snorts are immediate, from the both of them, Taehyung laying his
head on his stomach. “Don’t ask me to take this seriously, I can’t do that.” he shakes his head.
“Just— shut up.” Taehyung says, still laughing, as he coats his index finger with the peach
flavored lubricant. Jungkook’s choice. Jungkook’s eyes stay on the ceiling as Taehyung does as he
was told, pushing his finger slowly but steadily.
“That feels really fucking weird.” Jungkook admits, reaching for Taehyung’s free hand for some
kind of grounding. “It doesn’t feel like anything, just weird.” he looks at the younger, a confused
pout to his lips as Taehyung’s finger continues its slow movement.
“Maybe you just don’t like it, hyungie.”
“A-Add another one.” he instructs and Taehyung looks at him for a few seconds to make sure he’s
certain of it. Jungkook just nods. So he does, adding more lubricant to help. That does get a whine
from the back of Jungkook’s throat.
“Was that a whine?” Taehyung teases.
“No, it was a masculine demonstration of pleasure.” Jungkook corrects, though he’s surprised as
Taehyung pushes his fingers deeper, making him whine yet again, back arched and head thrown
back. “I want a divorce.” he gapes.
“We’re not married yet.” Taehyung giggles, keeping the movements steady, just about loving the
way Jungkook’s responding to them. “Can I add another one…?” he asks after a while filled with
nothing but Jungkook’s low sounds.
“Yeah, or it won’t fit.” he says with such a natural tone it has Taehyung laughing again, trying his
hardest to still thrust his fingers in and out, laying his head down on Jungkook’s chest.
“Can you not talk like that…!”
“I can’t believe I’m so romantic when I’m the one doing this but what I get is you laughing at me.”
Jungkook shakes his head once Taehyung is back at looking down at him even if with a quiet
laugh.
“It’s not my fault, you’re just too funny.” Taehyung giggles, squeezing some of the bottle’s content
onto his third finger, taking his sweet time.
“I don’t want to be funny, I want to be torn to sh— oh shit.” his whine sounds more like a cry and it
worries Taehyung for a second before he realizes it’s a positive reaction, so he doesn’t stop.
He chews on his bottom lip for a long second, contemplating the words in his head before he lets
them out, trying to be just as confident as his boyfriend always is. “Are you sure you’ll be able to
take something else?” Jungkook looks at him with an eyebrow raised, surprised.
“Damn, daddy, don’t be mean.” he pouts.
Taehyung pulls his fingers out. “Nope, not doing this.”
“Oh my God, no—” Jungkook just about cries, reaching to hold his wrist. “It felt so good, please.”
his eyes so big and shiny they have Taehyung frowning.
“I'm supposed to be the baby of this relationship, don’t look at me like that.” he comments. “You
look way too adorable.” Jungkook chuckles, laying back down.
“I just ate you out until you were shaking, don’t forget that in ten minutes.” he points out, way too
cocky for Taehyung’s liking. He pushes his fingers in again.
“Shut up.” and so they continue.
“I’m— I’m kind of nervous.” Jungkook says, bottom lip caught between his teeth as he tries to
keep his sounds in. “Actually kind of nervous.”
“If it’s of any help, I’m nervous too.” Taehyung admits.
“You know what, just go for it. I’m feeling brave, go for it.” Jungkook instructs and Taehyung is
still a little hesitant even if he’s been working him with his fingers for quite some long minutes
already. “Just do it.”
Taehyung nods, pulling his fingers out. Jungkook’s eyes stay on the ceiling as Taehyung readies
himself, before crawling up to hover over him. Their eyes meet then, both blushing and visibly
nervous.
“So do I just…?” Jungkook nods, closing his eyes once Taehyung does as instructed. He moans.
It’s loud, unexpected, and has the both of them taking a second.
“Did I really just make that sound— what the fuck.” he almost squeals the words out, hands
holding onto Taehyung’s arms as he tries to get used to the feeling.
“This feels— really different.” Taehyung whispers by his ear, trying to focus properly. “Way
different.” Jungkook just pulls him by the back of his neck into a kiss, Taehyung taking one of his
hands to cup his jaw. Both huff into the kiss once he starts moving.
That until Jungkook stops being able to kiss back, his moans quiet, head thrown back into the
pillow. Taehyung gets lost into the sight, adoring him with his eyes. He wonders if that’s how
Jungkook sees him. “You look so pretty, hyung.” he whispers.
“I’m not pretty.” Jungkook shakes his head, nails digging into Taehyung’s shoulders.
“You’re saying that because you’ve never seen yourself in this light.” Taehyung grabs him by the
wrists once the scratching on his back starts getting painful, pinning them down by Jungkook’s
head.
Jungkook’s eyes grow bigger. “Holy—”
Taehyung is set on giving Jungkook an experience just as good as he always gives him, so he
musters all his confidence to start kissing from his jaw, down his neck and further down to his
chest, still holding his wrists.
Jungkook makes an unholy sound when Taehyung innocent and accidentally grazes over his
nipple. “Fun fact.” he starts with an awkward chuckle. “My nipples are embarrassingly sensitive.”
“That’s… interesting.” Taehyung looks down at them before he experimentally bites one with not
much strength. Jungkook tries to scoot away. “I’m starting to believe you were always meant to be
in this position, oh my God, was your dominance all a facade and you were just waiting for this to
happen?”
“How about you suck my actual fuc—” another whine, Taehyung giggling as he pinches the little
bud. “Tae…!”
“I’m sorry, hyungie, it’s just entertaining…” he pouts. “You have your vulnerable moments but
this? So entertaining.” a giggle.
“Bro— Where the fuck is this coming from?” Jungkook asks, a little incredulous, hands gripping
the sheets with all of his strength, trying to keep his sounds under control, though it’s almost
impossible with all the new sensations everywhere.
“Did you just call me bro? Your fiancé? Bro?!” Taehyung stops his movements, looking down at
him with a frown. Jungkook states ahead, tears welling up in his eyes at the sudden loss of
stimulation.
“I can’t believe you stopped.” he tries to say, though his voice cracks. “I feel like you just punched
me in the stomach, I can’t—”
“Oh, sorry.” Taehyung giggles, readjusting himself before continuing. “Can I just say you’re a
pretty crier?”
“I’ve had more breakdowns than I can — fuck — can count with my fingers and you choose this
moment to tell me I look pretty when I cry?” he mumbles as he pulls the other closer by hooking
his arms around his neck, legs spreading further.
“You're crying in pleasure and not in sadness so… seems like the best moment to tell you.”
Taehyung whispers back, joining their lips, the movements becoming slower, Jungkook pulling
him even closer.
“Compliments are always welc— oh, right there, right there, shit.” he cries, hiding against the
crook of Taehyung’s neck, who simply lets out a surprised chuckle, pinning Jungkook’s hand again
when he tries to go back to digging his nails on his back.
“Why are you trying to rip my skin off?”
Jungkook scoffs. “You speak as if you don’t do worse.”
“But you like it.” Taehyung points out.
“Shut up, just— go faster.” he requests with a blush creeping down to his neck and Taehyung
kisses his cheek, hugging him as he does as requested.
“I love you, hyungie…” Jungkook smiles, hugging back.
“I lov— hm, you too.”
│►
Taehyung kisses the other’s forehead before rolling over, both of them trying to stabilize their
breath for the second time in the evening. “I’ve never talked… this much… during sex.” Jungkook
comments with a weak chuckle, hand intertwining with Taehyung’s.
“Well, I’ve never laughed during sex, but you’re an idiot, so.” they both take a second before they
laugh quietly, squeezing each other’s hand. “I’ve never even imagined being so comfortable with
someone to the point of— not being anxious during it, I’ve never felt more comfortable with
anyone than today with you.”
“I can honestly say the same.” Jungkook nods. “Did you enjoy it, love?” he rolls over to his side,
pressing a kiss to Taehyung’s cheek.
“Yeah… it was an experience, seeing you like that. It was different, I enjoyed it.” he nods with a
little smile. “Did you?” Taehyung asks.
“It hurt a bit at the start but then it got really good.” Jungkook nods, appreciative. “I wouldn’t mind
eventually repeating it, it’s what I’m trying to say.” he explains with a new kiss to Taehyung’s jaw,
another down to his neck until he reaches his collarbone. “I want to talk to you about something,
actually.”
“What is it?” Taehyung asks, voice calmer now, demeanor changed, turning to putty under
Jungkook’s teasing kisses to his neck.
“The way you pinned my hands.” he starts, pressing a final kiss before leaning up to face him
properly. “Would you be comfortable if it, let’s say, happened the other way around?” Taehyung
blinks.
“I-I didn’t really think about it, I just—” he stops, unsure.
“Baby, it was completely ok, I promise, it’s really fine. Besides, it’s hot. And… I’ll always be as
soft as you need me to but… not being soft every now and then could be really uh, dope, for the
lack of a better word.”
“Dope?” Jungkook nods. “Can we just… whenever it may happen, talk about it first?” Taehyung
requests, voice thin and back to sounding a little shy.
“So I can just ask for permission to try to choke you next time?” Taehyung chokes on his saliva.
“Not now, baby.” Jungkook chuckles.
“You— I mean, uh, yes…” he whispers. “We can try, as long as you tell me first and— and I know
it’s happening.” Jungkook’s lips tug downwards in a coo, kissing his fiancé yet again.
“I promise I’ll tell you.” Jungkook promises. “Now can we go take a shower? I can feel it dripping
out.”
“I do too—”
“Oh my God this is so fucking weird.” he looks horrified as he sits down and it has Taehyung
falling in a pit of giggles. “Babe, it’s leaking.”
Taehyung wheezes. “Yeah, that happens.” he nods to himself, making grabby hands for the other to
lay down again. “I want cuddles…!”
“And I want to shower.” Jungkook whines. “Come with me, love, I’ll carry you.” Taehyung yelps
as he’s picked up from the bed without further notice, legs circling around Jungkook’s waist. “It’s
going down my leg, this is honestly traumatic.”
Taehyung laughs. “It’s not that bad.” he hides in the crook of Jungkook’s neck, prepping him with
little kisses. “It’s a bit weird but…”
“Is this how it feels to be on your period, I wonder.”
“Oh my God, shut up.”
│►
Chapter End Notes
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Also, there's only 3 more updates :D

◄│ 90 │►
Chapter Notes
For the pressed people in my curious cat that were upset over the switch moment:
most couples in real life switch, please let’s not push heteronormative standards on gay
characters
Jungkook wakes up to the smell of freshly done coffee and a hand on his hair, another one shaking
him by the shoulder. “Baby…” he hears again, so he hums with a little smile as he stretches his
limbs.
“Ah—” he stops doing so at the pain that strikes through his core. “Now what in world…?!”
Taehyung giggles, leaning down to kiss his forehead.
“Sit up, I made you breakfast.” Jungkook looks down at the tray next to him and he furrows his
eyebrows at the pill placed on a napkin. “I had terrible pain after my first time to the point where I
had to take medicine… I don’t know how you’ll be feeling but if it also hurts, then I got you some
pills.”
“I didn’t think about this, I’m regretting every single life decision I’ve made until now.” Taehyung
laughs quietly, simply placing the tray on the nightstand to prevent it from falling with the mattress
movements. Jungkook sits up with a groan. “Babe…!”
“Hm?” Taehyung takes a sip from his own coffee mug.
“My ass hurts.” he complains, Taehyung almost spitting his coffee right back. “It’s not funny, how
am I going to work today?” Jungkook further cries.
“That’s why I got you a pill, baby.” Taehyung smiles, pointing towards it when Jungkook places
the tray on his lap. “I remember how you made fun of me for having a limp the first time we did
anything… I guess it will be my turn now.” he smiles further.
“You’re— I can't believe my ears.” Jungkook shakes his head, picking up his coffee mug to take a
sip. “Does the painkiller actually help?”
“Mhm. And I can buy you some ointment during my lunch break if you’d like, it helps.” Jungkook
looks mortified. “Baby, first times aren’t all fun and games to the one underneath.” he laughs
quietly.
“Well, shit.” Jungkook mumbles. “How come you didn’t tell me about this? I would’ve helped
you… I feel bad now.” Taehyung coos.
“Don’t worry, it didn’t happen after being with you, I just needed it after my first times. Though, as
you can imagine, Hyungsik didn’t really take the same initiative as you would.” Jungkook
munches quietly on a piece of toast before he gasps, almost choking on the food.
“I’m a piece of shit—”

“What—”
“I’ve never known this, I didn’t— Tae, I took so many first times in high school and I didn’t—
holy shit, I feel so bad.” he puts his toast down to place a hand over his heart. “Oh my poor ex-
boyfriend, I remember I literally left him afterwards, this is so bad.”
“Babe, it’s been a decade, you can’t possibly feel bad.” Taehyung says with a chuckle but it takes
him a look at the other’s puppy eyes to know he’s serious. “Uh, okay, I am unsure of what to say to
make you feel less guilty right now. It’s been a long time, you shouldn’t even think about it
anymore…”
“But… my first time wasn’t even good, I should’ve been considerate but no, I was an asshole…”
he looks down. Taehyung tilts his head.
“Can I ask how it was?” he asks, curious.
“I— Well, I had my first time with a girl I kind of liked. I was fourteen, she was… sixteen, turning
seventeen I think, I’m not sure anymore. She used to hang out from my group even though she
wasn’t even in school anymore and I kind of liked her. I thought it was sweet, you know, all movie
type shit that would happen afterwards. And it didn’t, she said sex is only sex and I was so upset
over that…” he recalls as he enjoys his coffee. Taehyung listens attentively. Jungkook openly
sharing stories is still a wonder to him.
“Is that why you stopped taking it seriously too?” he asks, pushing Jungkook’s bangs away when
they fall over his eyes. The older man just nods.
“Yeah…” Jungkook sighs. “Now that I think about it, I should’ve known it wasn’t going to be all
dreamy afterwards, we were at a little local bar, my friends and I, and she just invited me to the
bathroom.”
“You— Your first time was in a public bathroom?”
“Yep.” Jungkook nods as he sips more from his mug. “I thought we’d walk out of there holding
hands and shit but she just went back as if nothing had happened and that really did get me so
upset, which makes my future actions unjustifiable. That being done to me scarred me at the time,
but my way of coping with it was doing the same to other people. Doesn’t make sense.”
“It actually does.” Taehyung smiles, feeding him one of the strawberries on the plate. “Some
people get over traumatic experiences by provoking them on someone else. It’s not the best way to
go, but it’s… somehow justified. Besides, you were a teenager… you can’t blame yourself for not
taking care of someone the way you would now. You’ve grown so much.”
“But— Makes me sad. Had we done something, I possibly wouldn’t have helped you after because
I didn’t know better.” Taehyung giggles.
“I’d never have done anything with you.”
“I’m going to ignore that.” Jungkook pouts, picking up the pill. “I just feel bad, and sorry for even
talking about this, we’re engaged and I’m here talking about how I’ve fucked more people than I
can count.”
“Babe, I love learning new stuff about you. Us liking it or not, this is a part of you and your past.”
Taehyung reassures. “I just wish you weren’t feeling bad over things that happened such long time
ago.”
“I just hope none of those people actually liked me.” he frowns further. “Gosh. I was a bad
person.”
“No… you were just going through a lot.” Jungkook tilts his head towards the younger, seeking for
comfort that he gets in the form of a kiss to his forehead. “But focusing on your present now, do
you want that ointment?” Taehyung asks.
“Can you be the one to buy it? I’m embarrassed.” Taehyung laughs. “Hey— He’ll know it’s for
me, I’ll be going in there with a limp.” he frowns.
“I never thought you had a frail masculinity.”
“I certainly do not!” Jungkook defends, offended. “I just feel weird that I know he’ll know. I’m not
the one with the exhibition kink, babe.” Taehyung’s eyes grow bigger. “It’s you. You’re the one
with the—”
“I got it!” he interrupts, shoving another strawberry into Jungkook’s mouth. “Just for that, you’ll go
buy it.”
“Oh no— I’ll do anything you want.” he pouts.
“Okay, buy the ointment.” Taehyung smiles.
“That’s— That’s not how it works.”
“Fine. I’ll go buy it for you.” Jungkook smiles. “And we should start thinking about getting up and
ready for work.” Taehyung informs when Jungkook simply climbs over him to drop his weight on
top of his body, looking for more cuddles. “Unless you want to call in sick and tell Seojoon why
you can’t leave the bed.”
“You’re going to regret teasing me next time I get my hands on you.” Jungkook sing songs.
“Oh—”
“Worry not.” he smiles against the crook of Taehyung’s neck. “I promise I’ll be gentle.
Afterwards.” Jungkook chuckles, accommodating himself further.
“Is it too late to change my answer to your proposal?” Jungkook nods. “Okay then.” he hums as he
takes his hand to his messy black hair, threading his fingers through it. “We really do have to get
up.”
“Can we just lay here for… twenty minutes? We’ll rush getting dressed, fuck it, my ass hurts, I
deserve rest.” Taehyung laughs, his chest vibrating against Jungkook’s. “We already had
breakfast.”
“Twenty minutes. No more than that.” Jungkook hums. They’re both silent for a while after that,
Taehyung simply playing with his hair, when he suddenly stops as his ring gets tangled up. “Uh,
baby, don’t… move.”
“Not that I want to but why can’t I?” Jungkook asks, sleepy, Taehyung can tell he was a second
away from falling asleep again. Taehyung just pats his head with the other hand before he tries to
untangle it. Jungkook catches on. “Tell me you're joking.”
“I don’t know how to tell you this.” Taehyung stresses, still trying to pull the hairs away from the
hoop. “It’s not coming off.” Jungkook tries lifting his head but Taehyung makes him lay down
again. “It’s— Stuck. We’re going to have to cut it.”
“Tae, get that shit off of my hair right now.” Jungkook says, voice an octave lower with worry.
“I’m not cutting my hair— get it off.” he stresses.
“I’m trying!”
“Try harder!”
“Shut up! Stay still.” he orders, slipping his finger out of the ring to be able to use both of his
hands. It takes him a minute, pulling at almost each individual hair at time, untangling it from the
ring. “Okay, I got it.”
Jungkook rolls away immediately. “You’re never playing with my hair. Ever again.”
“I’d rather break the engagement off so that I don’t have to wear then ring than not playing with
your hair again. It’s the best physical thing you have. In my opinion. I love it so much.” his hands
try to go back to his hair but Jungkook holds both of his wrists. “Babe...!” he whines.
“No, get off.” Jungkook pushes him away as he tries to climb onto his lap, Taehyung falling
backwards onto the mattress. “Stay away from my hair.”
“No…!” Taehyung frowns. “Jungkookie, don’t be mean to me.” he pouts. “Just let me kiss your
head.” his eyebrows knit together as Jungkook takes his hands to his sweatpants, pulling the strings
open. “What— You know what, never mind.”
“I’m kidding, come here. Hands off, though.” Jungkook pats his thighs, Taehyung climbing to his
lap. He leans in to kiss the spot where the ring got caught, his hands being held behind his back.
“Babe, you’re balding.” Taehyung says with a gasp.
“I’m what?!” the other giggles. “Oh, fuck you.” he pushes him down onto the mattress again,
smacking him with the nearest pillow.
“Oh—”
│►
“We really—” a kiss. “—have to—” another one. “—get up.” Taehyung mumbles against his lips.
“I can’t call in sick because your butt hurts.”
“It seems like a good excuse to me.” Jungkook pouts. “Hey… whatever your boss’ name is, I can’t
go to work because my dick has ruined my b—” Taehyung is quick to shut him up with a kiss, this
time longer. “Can I call in sick? I just came back though… do you reckon the pill has done
anything at all?”
“I don’t know, it may.” Jungkook shifts in bed, humming to himself. “All good?” he nods with a
chuckle. Jungkook opens his mouth to speak, but he’s interrupted by his phone, so he stretches to
reach it.
“It’s… an unknown number.” he lifts an eyebrow, accepting the call and taking it to his ear.
“Hello?”
“Is this Jeon Jungkook?” a man asks, and he takes the phone from his ear to check again if there’s
no name. There’s nothing, and he’s confused. Taehyung gestures for him to put it on speaker,
which he does.
“Yes, it’s Jungkook. Who am I speaking to?” Taehyung furrows his eyebrows, confused as well.
“You sound really grown up.” Jungkook frowns further as their eyes meet before his go wide and
he lets go of the phone into the mattress. The only thing popping into his mind being his father, and
he gets up from the bed right away, a hand over his mouth.
Taehyung picks the phone up. “I’m sorry, who's this?”
“Who are you?”
“That’s none of your concerns, please reply to me question before I end the call and block your
number.” Taehyung says, voice certain, as he sits up. “Who are we speaking to?”
“I’m Jungkook’s uncle. He used to live with me before he disappeared all those years ago. Kind of
stupid of you not to change the number, kid, I really just tried to call and it went through.” the man
explains. “I’m calling because I need to see you.”
Taehyung looks up at Jungkook, the other looking mortified, shaking his head as a no. “I don’t
think that’s going to be possib—”
“Jungkook.” the man interrupts. “Your dad’s dying.” he says, voice a little louder. Jungkook’s eyes
grow impossibly bigger. “He asked me to get around to find you… he wants to see you.”
Taehyung gapes. Jungkook’s out of words.
“He has liver cancer. He refused to seek for help so he’s… his heart is beating its last beats, he
doesn’t have a long time.” his uncle goes on. “He’s been mentioning you for a few days and I told
him I didn’t even know if you were… still alive, so he asked me to look for you. He wants to say
goodbye.”
Jungkook shakes his head as a no. Again. Taehyung chews on the inside of his cheek. He knows
Jungkook’s probably terrified of that, he knows Jungkook doesn’t want to be around his father, but
he also knows it’s too deep of a thing to just give an immediate answer to. So he sighs before
replying.
“He’ll think about it, we’ll text.” he ends the call without waiting any further second, reaching for
Jungkook’s hand to pull him back into a sitting position. Jungkook looks lost. “Babe…” Taehyung
starts. “What are you going to do?”
“I…” Jungkook looks back at him. “Can I sound really psychotic for just a second?” Taehyung just
nods as a confirmation. “I don’t want to see him, but I want to see him dying.” he stares back,
Taehyung’s wide eyes unblinking. “I’m sorry, I know this sounds terrible but— I fucking hate him
so much. I’ve been terrified of him my whole life, he took my mom from me, he made a sweet,
innocent little girl take her own life, I want him dead.”
“Oh.”
“Am I upsetting you?” Jungkook whispers.
“No, I just can’t even imagine what’s like to feel like this towards… your own father.” he tries to
explain his lack of a better reaction.
“He was never my father. There was never a day or a slight moment where I felt like he was a
father figure to me. You can’t begin to imagine how fucking paranoid I was at the start, horrified
with the thought that he could come back or find me or—” Jungkook stops, closing his eyes to
inhale slowly, trying to calm down. “Baby, knowing he’s actually gone would be one of the most
relieving things. Ever. He’s been dead to me but it’s not the same.”
“I don’t— I don’t really understand how it is to want someone just… dead, but I don’t have to. It’s
your past and your dad, you’re the one that knows him, so whatever you think about him, knowing
what he did to you, I’ll support you.” Taehyung assures, leaning closer to press a kiss to
Jungkook’s forehead. “That’s what this ring means, isn’t it?” he whispers, his lips still hovering his
face. “I’m here for you.”
“Thank you.” Jungkook whispers as he leans back to be able to meet his eyes. “This just ruined our
peaceful morning.”
“Don’t worry about it, nothing is ruined.” Taehyung smiles as he combs his hair back. “What are
you going to do, though?” Jungkook sighs, rubbing his eyes, though the blonde quickly pulls his
wrists away to keep him from irritating them. “Look… I told your uncle that you’d text him an
answer, so you don’t have to decide anything right now. It’s a pretty big deal, seeing your dad after
all these years and just the fact that it’s him… so you take your time, think it over and whatever
you decide to do, I’ll support it.”
“You’re right.” Jungkook nods. “I’ll think about it.”
“Alright. Should we get dressed now? Because we’re both definitely going to be late already.” he
watches as the older man searches for the clock on the nightstand.
“Oh, shit.”
│►
Jungkook drags the cloth over the same plate for the fifth time, not even noticing with how he’s so
spaced out, eyes on the counter. “Hey.” he jumps as a finger pokes him on the ribs. “I have the
feeling that there’s something definitely bothering you.” Eunjae comments, leaning her hips against
the counter. “I won’t comment on it if you don't want me to but you know you can talk to me and
let shit off of your chest.”
“I may sound a bit rude as shit.” Eunjae raises an eyebrow, gesturing him to go on.
“Ok, so? Like that’s a problem with me.”
“Right. Well… I don’t know if you know but I haven’t seen my dad since I was thirteen, I went to
live with my uncle after he disappeared.” Eunjae blinks at the sudden information. “If there’s
someone I hate to death in this life, it’s my dad and uh… my uncle called me today telling me my
dad wants to see me. He’s… dying with cancer.” Jungkook finishes with a sigh.
“Oh, shit.” Eunjae’s eyes grow big. “How do you feel about that? It’s a pretty big fucking deal.”
she asks.
“I… I’m torn. I’m really torn about this. Because in one hand, I don’t want to see him again. Ever.
But on the other… seeing him and… seeing the fact that he’s dying could bring me some closure,
you know?” he explains as best as he can. “If there’s anything I need it’s fucking closure to all of
the shit from my past.”
“Do you want help ending him, or…?”

“I don’t want to kill him!” Jungkook interrupts.
“You said you wanted to see him dying, I know a place where we can hide the body—” Eunjae
goes on in a soft whisper but Jungkook waves both of his hands.
“Don’t get me involved in any of that murder conversation, I made out of prison once and I don’t
plan on going back there.” he says, final.
“I’ve never asked about it… is it cool there? Does it make you feel like a badass once you’re out?”
Jungkook furrows his eyebrows at the question.
“Why are you even asking, there’s nothing cool about prison, no one’s getting fucking arrested, no
one’s killing no one, so shut up.” Eunjae deflates, turning serious again as she concludes making
jokes isn’t making anything better.
“Well, then what are you doing? Are you visiting him?”
Jungkook runs a hand through his hair. “I don’t know.” he shakes his head. “I don’t know how my
mind will even react to it, I don’t know what he’d say… I don’t know anything about what may
happen and I don’t like that. But I also… as I said, I want closure.”
They both look up at a new customer arriving, Eunjae motioning him to go to the register. She just
observes with big curious eyes as he limps his way to the counter. It’s not a big limp, but it’s
definitely there.
She taps the counter, waiting for Jungkook to finish serving the takeout coffee before returning
back to her side. “Can I ask what’s with the limp?”
“No, you can’t.” Jungkook smiles, picking up another plate alongside the rag. Eunjae gasps.
“Oh my God— did you finally allow yourself to experience that? How was it?!” he frowns, a little
embarrassed. “C’mon, dude, you know I’m curious. I used to encourage you to do it so I want to
know how it was now that it happened.” Jungkook rolls his eyes.
“It was really good. I do prefer being more in control of the situation but… there’s many ways to
do that and there’s many things yet experiment with Tae. It’s going to take some time given… how
he is, but we’re engaged, we have all the time in the world and I love getting to show him things.”
he speaks with a shine to his eyes. “But yeah, it was good. It feels a bit more intense when it comes
to the actual orgasm—”
“I hope no one's listening to this—”
“I don’t care. Anyways, it feel a bit more intense and it’s good. I did wake up in pain, though. Tae
said it’s normal after the first time but yeah, that’s why I have a limp.” he finishes the short story.
“Now, I’d like to never talk about this again, it makes me a feel embarrassed.”
“Aw! Why?” Eunjae coos with a smile.
“I don’t know… it just does, so shut up.” Jungkook looks away to hide the blush he feels coming.
“It’s good to have you back.” she sing songs.
│►
“Twenty five… twenty six…” Jungkook counts as he lifts the weights, his arms burning after so
long without being worked on. “Twenty s—”
“What are you doing here at this time?” he hears from behind and he turns to see Taehyung giving
him a once over. Jungkook just chuckles.
“I was bored.” he replies with a shrug.
“You work out because you’re bored?” Taehyung raises an eyebrow, walking around him to sit
down next to the displayed weights.
“I used to, at least.” he shrugs, still lifting both of his arms at the same time. “I know how
compromising this may seem because of our chat yesterday but I promise I’m not feeling like shit
about it anymore. I just really love to exercise, okay? And even if I don’t have to have a defined
abdomen, I like to have it. Don’t worry, alright?” Jungkook explains as he steps closer, pressing a
kiss to Taehyung’s forehead before getting the next weights, a little heavier. “Besides… I’ve been
stressing the whole day about my father so this relaxes me a lot.” he admits.
“About your dad—”
“Can we— later? Please?” Taehyung gives him a reassuring smile and a nod, relaxing further, eyes
still following his movements. “Will you stay here and watch?” Jungkook asks with a little smirk.
“You look really hot. So yes. I will.” he nods.
“Want to join me?” Taehyung blinks up at him.
“Absolutely not.” Jungkook chuckles, starting a new count with the heavier weights. Taehyung just
watches him, entertained. He follows him to the treadmill, leaning against it as Jungkook runs,
occasionally turning up the speed a little.
He’s not sure of how long Jungkook runs for, he just knows it’s way too long and that he’s tired by
watching. Jungkook bends over to breathe afterwards, drinking from his bottle of water. “Come
here…” Taehyung instructs, taking the towel from his shoulders to dab the sweat on Jungkook’s
forehead and neck.
“You should keep me company all the time.” he says with a chuckle as he tilts his head back to
allow him to continue the task at hand. Taehyung kneels in front of him as Jungkook lays on the
floor on his back, knees bent and ready for a good set of crunches.
Taehyung lays his chin on Jungkook’s knees, hands keeping his legs in place. He counts for him,
Jungkook going up and down in a consistent pace. “You know, I used to hate physical education in
school, it was one of the worst things.”
“Really?” Taehyung nods. “Is that why you still hate working out?” Jungkook asks with a chuckle.
“Yeah.” a giggle. “Hey, stop, come here.” Jungkook holds his position once he goes up again and
he’s confused until Taehyung takes his hands to his hair, collecting it messily at the top of his
head. He secures it with a hair band.
Jungkook kisses him as a thank you, not minding the fact that they’re not alone in the gym. He has
never seen any of those people even if they’re his neighbors.
Once Taehyung’s counting reaches sixty, he stops, laying down for a long second to breathe.
“What do we got to do next?” Taehyung asks as he pulls away.
“We.” Jungkook repeats.
“Yes. We. I feel tired from watching you.” he taps his fiancé’s knee, encouraging Jungkook to
continue. And he does, turning around so that his chest is on the floor before lifting himself on his
forearms. “Oh, planks are the worst.” Taehyung giggles.
“I don’t really mind them.” Jungkook shrugs. Taehyung watches him for a second, taking in how
Jungkook’s arms flex, and he doesn’t even try to fight the urge to grab his bicep, squeezing it.
“Do you reckon you could bench press me?” he asks, so casually it has Jungkook laughing.
“What?” Taehyung just squeezes his arm again. “I mean, I probably could. Ok, I’m pretty sure I
could. Why?” he turns his head to face him, Taehyung’s curious eyes staring back at him.
“No big reason… I just find it attractive.” he admits.
“What? My strength?” Taehyung nods. “Good to know.” it’s silent for a little while Jungkook’s
left surprised at the additional weight dropped on his back and it doesn’t take him long to realize
it’s Taehyung, comfortably resting on top of him. “Hey—”
“Oh my, you’re not falling.” Taehyung giggles by his ear, Jungkook adjusting his position to be
able to handle it better. “You know we have to go upstairs soon so that you have time to shower
before Nira arrives… unless you want her to smell you like this.”
“Like how—”
“Like gross.” he yelps as he’s thrown to the side, falling onto his back. “I was joking!”
│►
“...but then he starts with those flirty lines and I don’t know how to respond.” Nira says, holding
her glass of juice in one hand, the other gesturing around.
“So you can flirt with me the second you see me in rehab but can’t flirt with someone you actually
like?” Jungkook asks with a chuckle as he continues chopping the carrot. Nira’s eyes grow bigger,
looking away at the other male, busy adding condiments and spices to the pot.
“Don’t say that with Taehyung in the room, he may start to hate me.” she tries to whisper but the
blonde just laughs quietly. “Tae, I promise I—”
“Hey, don’t worry, I know Jungkook wouldn’t have befriended you if you hadn’t respected him, so
I know you didn’t do anything bad. Besides, I can’t judge anyone for flirting with him, I know
what you guys see, I see the same.” he ends with a little shrug, still facing the stove, back towards
him.
“That’s honestly really sweet.” she coos. “But since there’s no problem, I can share that yes, it’s
harder to flirt with someone I actually like because if it doesn’t work, I’ll be really upset… whereas
if you had rejected me, which you did, it’s not a big deal.” Nira explains. “Living with him will be
fun. My parents were a little hesitant since he’s a decade older than me but they’re cool with the
idea now.”
“Oh, that’s great. I was ready to house him in case your parents told you not to take him in.”
Jungkook reaches for another carrot.
“I visited him today and I told him I was coming here for dinner… he asked me to tell you there’s
no way to play uno with one player.” she says with a frown. Jungkook chuckles.
“I called him yesterday to tell him I’m engaged and everything and he told me he’s been regretting
every single decision he’s ever made in life.” he shares.
“He can get in line on that one.” Nira pouts, turning towards the other man. “So, Tae, you’re a
therapist right? That’s a really interesting profession… what made you want to be one?”
“If I’m being honest, Jungkook took a big part of it. I don’t think I’d be a therapist today had I not
seen how he was in high school. He was a really lost dude, a dickhead, yes, but… he just needed
someone there.” Taehyung sighs, cutting the meat into small squares.
Nira looks between the two. “So… you became a therapist because of the same guy you would one
day save the life of?” she doesn’t even give him time to speak. “Didn’t— Didn’t Jungkook help
you out of a relationship with a trashy ex or something, too?”
“Uh—”
“Have you stopped to think of how much you’ve affected each other’s lives before you even got
together? That’s so cool. If you weren’t sad, he wouldn’t become a therapist and wouldn’t help you
and you wouldn’t help him and— woah.” Jungkook stops cutting, looking up at her. He never
really stopped to think of that.
“I don’t think my mom dying is exactly cool.”
“Details.” she waves her hand. “Just think that… if that didn’t happen, the life you know right now,
wouldn’t exist. You wouldn’t have Taehyung or this—” she waves around. “—if I were you I don’t
think I’d change anything. Would you?”
“I… I don’t know.” Jungkook furrows his eyebrows.
“Well, I don’t know why I was getting all deep, I—”
“Babe, you can answer her question, act as though I’m not here.” Taehyung says with a soft tone,
encouraging. Jungkook shakes his head, eyes going back to the carrot and the knife.
“But I'm actually not sure... like— if I change my fucked up childhood, I wouldn't need therapy
and even if I did, you probably wouldn't be a therapist right now... so whatever I want to change,
doesn't matter how small, it will affect... everything else.” Taehyung’s mind feels like it could
explode. He’s never considered that.
“It’s like… you were destined to each other.” Nira puts her glass down. “I’m going to the
bathroom, it’s the second door, right?”
“Yeah, second door.” they’re both silent once she’s gone, the only sounds the ones from Taehyung
preparing the meat and Jungkook’s knife hitting the cutting board. “Maybe… we are. Destined,
that is.” Jungkook whispers.
“Huh?” Taehyung looks back. “You’ve always said you don’t believe in destiny… are you
feverish?” Jungkook rolls his eyes with a smile.
“I know, I know, but… there’s just so many coincidences, have one thing changing and we
wouldn’t be here. I’m certainly not saying losing two people I love was a good thing, which is not,
at all, but bring one of them back and… I wouldn’t be here chopping carrots with my friend who I
helped getting through rehab and my fiancé who I’m so fucking in love with.”
“But… she’s your mom, babe…”
“And you’re the love of my life.” he puts the knife down, walking up to the younger. “I don’t think
I’d change anything.”
Taehyung’s eyes well up. “But it’d make things better… Y-You've suffered so much, Jungkook,
you— how can you say that and— and be so certain?”
“Because... pulling through everything that happened... made me have all of this. This place, my
pets, my friends. You. And because I know I want spend the rest of my life with you, and I
wouldn’t have that possibility had I not gone through what I did.” Taehyung hugs him, Jungkook
breathing into his hair with his eyes closed for a second. “I’d go through everything again if it
meant I’d have… this life. You’re worth everything.”
“You mean more to me than you’ll ever know.” Taehyung whispers as he pulls back, leaning in for
a kiss, that gets Jungkook’s hands around his waist right away. Jungkook steps closer, backing him
against the counter.
“Hey, I leave for two minutes and the fuck is going on here?” they pull back. “What happened?”
she gets no answers, the two simply go back to what they were doing. “Were you proclaiming your
love for each other after I made valid points?”
“Yes, actually.” they agree with a shrug.
“You’re welcome for the loving sex you’ll have later.”
“I mean—”
Taehyung interrupts. “No, no, shut up.”
│►
Taehyung flips onto the next page of his book as Jungkook comes from the bathroom, shirt
missing. He has nothing but a pair of sweatpants, judging by the lack of the underwear waistband.
He just plops onto the mattress. “Can you give me a massage?” he mumbles.
“Huh? Are you sore from working out?”
“I’m just— a bit stressed.” Taehyung closes his book, moving to sit down on Jungkook’s butt,
hands already starting to press on the sore muscles in his back. “I’ve done a lot of thinking about
my father today.” he whispers.
“So… Will you go?” Taehyung asks.
“I think so.” Jungkook says, followed by a long groan as Taehyung’s fingers dig into a certain spot
on his shoulder. “Would— Would you go with me?”
“You know I would. I’ll always support you through anything.” Jungkook sighs, his hand reaching
back to squeeze Taehyung’s thigh appreciatively. “I’m by your side, Jungkook, doesn’t matter
what it is you’re going through, as long as you want me there, I will be there.”
“Thank you. So much, seriously. You know I feel the same.”
“Hm.” Taehyung leans down to kiss his shoulder. “I know you do, hyungie.” he whispers, kissing
his head next before he goes back to the massage.
“I don’t think I want you to actually see him. I don’t know what he may say and if he’s rude to you,
I may lose it.” Jungkook closes his eyes. “I want you with me but… not in the room.”
“I’ll wait outside. In the car, wherever. I’ll be there.” he reassures, silence falling between the two.
It’s comfortable, but Taehyung can almost hear Jungkook thinking.
“I’m scared of seeing him.” Jungkook whispers.
“I understand, but you’ve come so far, it’s been so long, you’re so strong, you’ve grown so much.
You’ve got this, you can do it and you’ll do great. I know you will. You’re not a kid anymore,
you’re… an amazing man, and you’ll do amazing, okay?”
“Okay.” he nods. “Can we just talk about something else now? I don’t want to think about him
anymore. I’m done for the day.”
“Of course.” Taehyung smiles.
“Do you have anything in mind?” Jungkook asks.
“Yes, actually. Do you need help with the ointment?” Taehyung giggles as the other groans, hiding
his face further into the pillow. “What’s wrong?”
“We agreed not to talk about this.”
“I didn’t agree to anything!”
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss
◄│ 91 │►
Chapter Notes
Please please read the ending note
Jungkook inhales deeply for the umpteenth time before he gives the nurse a little nod and she
enters the room. “Hey, your son Jungkook is here.” she announces, giving him a little smile and an
encouraging wave. He just gulps, trying to calm his fast beating heart as he goes inside the room as
well.
Their eyes lock right away. The man laying on the bed looks nothing like what he remembers his
dad to look like, but that tattoo on his neck looks exactly as he recalls it. His cold eyes still look the
same.
Jungkook bows politely to the nurse as she bows to him, leaving them alone in the room. Jungkook
doesn’t even know what to say, he can feel his father looking him up and down many times. Eyes
piercing. He stares back in silence. His father looks sick, that’s for sure.
“You look… so grown up.” Jungkook’s hairs get up at the voice. That voice. A little used, a little
raspier, but it’s still the same voice. The voice that has haunted his worst nightmares for the past
decade. “You really look like a man now.” he says, eyeing him up and down once again. Jungkook
feels uncomfortable. “How old are you right now?”
He wants to laugh. Of course he wouldn’t know. “I’m twenty eight.” that’s all he says. The man
tilts his head.
“Your voice sounds really different.” maybe because I’m not a kid anymore, he wants to say, but he
refrains. “Tell me… how’s your life been?” he asks with a softer tone, going as far as offering him
a little smile.
The man in front of him is dying. His last wish was to see him. That’s the only thing that gets him
to actually reply to his question. “I’m in college right now, well, technically on a break because—
remember all those years ago when you completely fucked my life? Yeah, that prevented me from
going to college sooner. But it’s fine, I’m building my life now.” Jungkook says with the fakest
smile he's ever worn. “Your cunt of a brother traumatized the shit out of me just like you did and
that stopped me from accepting myself, but I still did eventually, and now, many years later, I’m
proudly engaged.” he finishes with a closed fist of anger.
“You’re engaged? That makes me so happy for you.” it seems like he ignores everything else.
“Who’s the lucky girl?” Jungkook rolls his eyes.
“His name’s Taehyung.” the smile on his father’s face falls, just like how he imagined it to.
“You really couldn’t have come out worse.” he spits. “You’re gay? That’s fucking disgusting,
Jungkook.” the forged softness to his voice is gone and suddenly there he is, the man Jungkook
knows to be his father. “I’ve always known there was something wrong with y—”
“You can’t talk to me like that anymore.” Jungkook interrupts, voice a little louder to make him
stop. “I’m not afraid of you anymore, it’s so pathetic that you’re here like this after fifteen years of
not giving a single shit about your son and you still have the fucking nerve to try to have a say
about my life?! You’re a joke.”
“Who do you think you’re talking to?!” the man sits up, though all the tubes and catheters prevent
him from getting up. “You have a big fucking mouth, just like your mother did, you both need to
—”
Jungkook’s tears are immediate to pool at his eyes. He has to let it out. Everything. “You took
everything from me. My mom, my sister, my fucking childhood, my innocence. You— You’ve
followed me through life, you’ve been haunting me since the day you disappeared… even though it
felt like you were still there after I started living with my uncle, he treated me even worse than you
did— you ruined everything for me. My head is a fucking mess— I’m a fucking mess because of
you.” Jungkook throws, words cold and quick and heavy. “And guess what.” he chuckles bitterly.
“I’m happy to see you like this. I love seeing you get what you deserve, you fucking piece of shit.”
He’s never talked to anyone like that but he doesn’t stop. He can’t. He’s never had that chance to
tell the culprit those words. He can’t let the opportunity pass.
“I hope you’ve lived the saddest life. I hope you’ve been miserable, because I’ve been too. But I’m
getting better. I’m happy, really happy for the first time in my life, and you’re dying. I love it. I
want you gone. I only came here for this, to make sure you were dying.”
Jungkook finishes, turning around to leave, though his eyes catch a frame with a picture. It’s the
same picture Moon ruined a year ago. The picture he thought was long gone. A picture of him with
the only two family members he’s ever cared for.
“Why do you have that?”
“It was in your mother’s shit when—”
“I didn’t ask how, I’m asking why.” he asks louder.
“Because you’re still my son. I thought you were, at least, but now I know you turned out to be the
biggest disappointment ever. And Mya—”
“Don’t fucking dare saying her name!” Jungkook yells, his voice filling up the room, raw and
pained. “Don’t you fucking dare.” it’s a broken whisper this time. He walks closer to the frame,
putting it inside his bag.
“Leave that—”
“Shut the fuck up.” Jungkook interrupts. “You’re so lucky you’re dying and that I hate violence,
I’ve never wanted to punch someone this hard.” he zips his bag, walking towards the door before
he turns back. “You’re going to die alone, you know, because you’re a horrible human being and I
hate you. I hate you so much. And I’m happy I got to see you, to make sure you won’t have long on
this earth, because you don’t deserve to be here. You don’t deserve anything. So forget I exist,
you’ve been dead to me for years. You can’t hurt me anymore, and nothing you say will bother
me. So fuck you, I hope dying hurts like a bitch.”
He leaves the room once he’s done and he has to stop to take a breather. He’s never been that rude
to someone. He’s never been that disrespectful. But he’s also never felt that relieved.
He knows seeing that won’t suddenly fix everything. He knows that even if the chapter is closed,
which it is, there will always be call backs. He’s never going to fully get over what happened, he’s
well aware of that.
But his father is dying and he got to take a heavy weight from his chest. It’s a relief he didn’t even
know he needed. He feels better.
“Remove my name from his files, I don’t want to be notified about anything.” that’s all he says
once he passes the nurse, and he just leaves with his shoulders feeling a lot lighter.
Taehyung looks up from his phone where he leans against the car once he hears footsteps
approaching. “That was fast— How did it go?” Jungkook smiles, that big smile of his. Taehyung
tilts his head. “Baby, are you going to cry?”
“I don’t know yet. I am, though, extremely hungry, can we go to a drive through?” Jungkook says
as he walks past him, already pulling the passenger door open. Taehyung takes a second before he
moves as well.
“What food?” Taehyung asks, wanting a reaction.
Jungkook just shrugs, typing away something on his phone. “McDonald’s? I could do a burger
right now. You can pick, though, you know I eat everything.” Taehyung nods, turning the car on as
he starts driving. He hits his fingers on the steering wheel, contemplating whether he should speak
about the matter or just make conversation.
“The weather is nice, isn’t it?” he asks.
“Huh? Ah, yes, it’s sunny.” Jungkook agrees, looking outside the window. “But not too hot.”
Taehyung decides conversation isn’t the way to go.
“Are you disassociated? You know, that headspace we talked about before, the one you can go
when dealing with really sensitive topics.” Jungkook looks back at him, a little confused. “I’ve
never seen you like this.”
“Like this how? I’m ok.” he locks his phone.
“Like this, so— uncaring but in a nice way…? I can’t read you right now.” Taehyung takes the red
light as an opportunity to face the older man. “You’re acting like you don’t care that you just saw
your dying father.”
“Seeing that only makes this a better day…?”
“How did it go?”
“I told him that he’s been dead to me for years and that he’s going to die alone, I hoped his death
hurts like a motherfucker — no, actually said like a bitch, I think.” Jungkook answers with a shrug
and Taehyung’s jaw falls with both shock and surprise.
“You’d never say that— That’s not you.” Taehyung shakes his head, unable to believe that.
Jungkook turns to him in his seat.
“You didn’t know him, Tae. You don’t know what he put us through, what he put me through all
of these years. God forbid you do.” he says, voice more serious. Taehyung pulls over, stopping the
car.
“I understand, but you have to be feeling something.” Taehyung turns to him as well. Jungkook
shrugs.
“I really couldn’t care less about him, can we just go to McDonald’s? I’m starving.” Taehyung
denies and Jungkook stops halfway from reaching his phone again. “Huh? Why not?”
“Because you’re not being honest with me.”
Jungkook sighs. “What do you want me to say?” Taehyung stares into his eyes for a few long
seconds and he can see all the bottled up emotions that he knows Jungkook isn’t going to let out.
Jungkook’s always so honest about what he’s feeling, if he’s not opening up then it’s not going to
happen so easily.
“Okay.” Taehyung nods, turning the car on again so that he can drive them to McDonald’s. The
drive is silent, Jungkook distracting himself with his phone, only putting it down once it’s their turn
to order. He leans closer to Taehyung’s window.
“Hi, can I get a large double cheeseburger, apple pie and cheese dippers and uh… a medium
banana shake and a caramel flurry. Add a large diet coke, please. Oh, and chicken nuggets, the box
of twelve.” Taehyung just looks at him with an amused expression. “Maybe add a number two but
without the fries, just the burger.”
“Is that all?” Taehyung asks with a chuckle and Jungkook looks at him.
“Do you want anything?” he asks. Taehyung laughs quietly, just shaking his head as a no. “Then
that’s all.”
“Would you like some ketchup, sir?” the worker asks. After Jungkook pays, with some fighting
between the both of them to try to get their cards to the worker, Taehyung starts to drive away to
the next window for them to wait for their food. Well, Jungkook’s.
“Are you going to manage to eat all of that?” he asks.
“You’ve never seen me stress eating, babe.” Taehyung raises one of his eyebrows.
“So you are stressing.” Jungkook just places a finger over his lips, shushing him. Taehyung shakes
his head. “You know you can talk to me.”
“I need to eat first. I feel like drinking, I need to stuff my mouth.” Taehyung gapes at the honesty.
“I won’t drink ever again, I promise, it’s just in my head and I really need to eat right now.”
“You’ll eat as much as you desire.”
│►
Jungkook’s confused when Taehyung presses on the minus two elevator button instead of their
floor, but he doesn’t ask, he simply leans onto the mirrored wall. He follows his fiancé in silence as
Taehyung walks towards the gym.
It’s basically empty at that hour, only one or two people working out. Taehyung stops by a
punching bag, getting a pair of gloves. He puts them in Jungkook’s hands in silence. “What am I
supposed to do?”
“Punch it.” Jungkook does, confused. “Now think of your dad and punch it again.” Taehyung
instructs.
“Tae—”
“Do it.” Jungkook looks down, fixing his position before he closes his eyes, thinking about the
man he saw some hours ago. He punches the bag, harder, stronger, unsure of where that even came
from. “Go on.” Taehyung gives him a reassuring smile, stepping away to give him space.
He punches it again. And again. And again. Each time harder, anger building up until he can’t keep
it in any longer. Taehyung lets him, gives him the opportunity to let everything out, but when he
sees tears starting to fall, he deems it as enough.
Taehyung walks up to him again, hugging him from the back in a way to get a hold of his arms.
Jungkook’s mind is so far into thinking about his father that he doesn’t even process that it’s ok,
it’s just Taehyung, so he debates, tries to get him away, jerking in his hold.
“Baby, baby, Jungkook, it’s me, you’re ok.” Taehyung says, trying his hardest to keep Jungkook’s
arms in control to prevent him from hurting one of them by accident. “Enough, Jungkook—
Enough, stop, it’s me, c’mon, you’re ok.”
He has to catch him as his knees give out, both kneeling on the floor, Taehyung still holding him
tight. He takes the gloves from Jungkook’s hands, holding them as they shake. “Let’s go home.” he
whispers by his ear, helping him up.
Jungkook remains quiet as they return to the elevator. “Are you feeling any better?” Taehyung
asks. Jungkook just nods, his eyes closed, head tilted back, sweat dripping down his neck. “Do you
want to talk about it?” he shakes his head. “Okay, we won’t then.”
Taehyung leads him by the hand as soon as the elevator stops on their floor. “I hope you’re not
even more upset, I thought letting your anger out would help.” he whispers, thumb caressing the
back of Jungkook’s hand reassuringly.
“It helped, I just want to go to bed.”
“Given you ate the whole McDonald’s stack I won’t insist you should have dinner.” Taehyung
smiles, kissing his cheek, followed by his lips and then his forehead. “I love you, ok? I’ll be right
behind you, I’ll just feed the pets.”
“You should eat.” Jungkook whispers.
“I’ll prepare something after you’re asleep.”
“Promise.” Taehyung just giggles, searching for Jungkook’s hand to link their pinkies. “Okay.”
Jungkook nods, kissing Taehyung’s forehead.
│►
Jungkook stares at the picture frame, not even hearing the door opening as Taehyung comes into
the room. The blonde lays down behind him, over the covers, leaning closer to see what he’s
looking at. “What do you have there?” Taehyung asks.
He’s handed the frame, Jungkook rolling to lay on his back instead, being able to face him then.
His eyes go wide once he realizes it’s the same picture Jungkook had lost and he’s unsure of what
to comment on.
Jungkook’s already upset over seeing his father, he doesn’t want to make it worse, so he concludes
that maybe joking would make his mood go up. “Okay, but who allowed you to have that haircut?”
“What—” he snatches the frame from Taehyung’s hands, looking at it closely. He snorts, then he
laughs. “You’re saying that but you had this exact haircut when I met you in high school.”
“It clearly didn’t look that bad if it was enough to make you fall for me.” Taehyung says with a
pout.
“Are you saying I looked ugly?” Jungkook raises an eyebrow, entertained. Taehyung shrugs.
“I’m saying if you cut your hair like that again we wouldn’t continue to be engaged.” Jungkook
fake gasps. “Look at it and tell me it’s cute.”
“It’s…” he scans the picture. “It’s something.”
“Ugly. It’s ugly.” Jungkook laughs again, scooting closer to the other. Taehyung’s always able to
make his mood better without even trying. “I don’t remember you having that hair in high school.”
“The year we met they were both already gone… this was before. I was hot in high school, in here
I was just an innocent kid that trusted his mom to cut his hair.”
“I’ve been there.” Taehyung nods. “But the fact that you were hot back then is… highly
debatable.”
“You once told me you thought I was attractive, just say it again and lift my ego up.” Jungkook
smiles, his hand resting on the inside of Taehyung’s thigh.
“I said that? You must’ve been dreaming.” he denies.
“I was hot.”
“Meh. You were an ass.” Taehyung shrugs.
“But a hot ass.”
“Just an ass.”
“C’mon, I got all the girls, that has to mean something.”
“And yet you couldn’t get me.” he says with a smile, going inside the covers to cuddle into the
other. Jungkook puckers his lips.
“Just because I wasn’t trying.” Taehyung raises both of his eyebrows, confused and surprised.
“You think you’d be able to?” Jungkook leans in to kiss his jaw, humming against the soft flesh.
“Most definitely, I would’ve charmed you.” he says, way too cocky for Taehyung’s liking. “I’d
charm you with—”
“By picking up the books you made me drop?” Jungkook snorts against his neck, Taehyung unable
to hold it in as well. “I don’t even understand what went through your mind. Oh my God, he’s so
pretty, I’m going to make fun of him.”
“I can’t understand either. I was just scared, I never even felt anything close to attraction to a man
before. Well, a boy. I only figured out I had a crush on you when I thought of you while masturbati
—”
“I don’t want to know.” Taehyung interrupts.

“No, listen, I came so fast but I felt so—” he tries not to laugh when Taehyung covers his mouth to
make him stop. He pulls his hand away by the wrist. “You brought this up, now you listen. You
can masturbate to me as well, I don’t mind.”
“No.”
“Am I not attractive enough?” he frowns.
“Oh my God, I just don’t do… that.” Jungkook cackles.
“Masturbate?” Taehyung slaps him on the arm. “Babe, it’s something very natural, we’re two
young guys and it’s not a topic you should be emb—”
“Weren’t you sleepy, why aren’t you sleeping?”
“I’m not upset anymore, I don’t feel like sleeping.” Jungkook shrugs, pulling Taehyung closer by
the back of his thighs. “I love making you shy, you look so fucking adorable when you blush.”
“Your bipolarity will never fail to baffle me.” Jungkook laughs quietly, closing his eyes at the
kisses delivered to his lips continuously. “Should we watch a movie or something? To be sure
you’re in the right mind.”
“Can it be The Avengers?” he smiles. Taehyung kisses his forehead with a hum. “The first, if you
will.”
“Oh— Why? Age of Ultron is better than the first one.”
“Uh, absolutely not, the first one has Loki.” Jungkook lifts up a finger. “I’m older and wiser, just
put the first movie, please.” Taehyung rolls his eyes with a smile, reaching for his laptop.
“The only one I’d leave you for is Thor.” he comments.
“I don’t want to watch this anymore.”
“No—”
│►
“Ultron looks like he’d smell really bad.” Jungkook comments, fingers going up and down the
thigh resting across his lap. Taehyung chuckles. It didn’t take Taehyung more than a bat of the
eyelashes to get Jungkook to agree on watching the second movie instead of the first one.
“He’d smell like oil and— metal, I’d imagine.” he nods. “He’s so attractive…” Taehyung whispers
once he sees his favorite hero on the screen. “Look at him.”
“He’s— alright.” Taehyung laughs at the pout on his lips, both going quiet after. Jungkook just
taps his thigh, bothered. “Baby.” Taehyung hums. “Babe!” another hum. “Taehyungie I have a
question, give me attention.” he complains.
“I’m listening, babe, what is it?” Taehyung turns towards him with a smile.
“Would you seriously not pay me the time of the day?” he asks, almost offended. “You know, I
was already great in high school, a whole sex symbol if you will.”
“I love that you’re saying that as though you didn’t last like two minutes.” Taehyung says with a
shrug as he goes back to the movie. Jungkook gasps, closing the laptop and therefore pausing the
movie.
“I’ll have you know I’ve always lasted a very respectful amount of time.” he corrects.
“No one in my class would believe that after that one day.” Jungkook blinks, confused. “I was in
class one day and you got caught in the classroom next to it. It was pretty funny, actually, we could
hear the teacher yelling at you to pull your pants up.” Taehyung says with a fit of giggles, reaching
for the laptop again.
“Are you trying to tell me— you could hear it.” the blonde nods. “That just further proves what I
said. Take yourself for an example, love, if they’re loud, they’re most likely loving it.” Taehyung
fights off the blush with everything he has.
“I honestly don’t know how you did well in school.”
“Because my brain, besides being fucked up, is also useful sometimes.” Jungkook puckers his lips.
“But let’s be honest here, had I not been an idiot back then, we would’ve at least kissed.”
“Not a chance.” Taehyung shakes his head.
“Tae, you would’ve fallen for me if I had charmed you with my smile.” he shows it as an example.
Taehyung just shakes his head again, opening the laptop. “You really wouldn’t have kissed me if I
had been nice?” Jungkook asks with his puppy eyes.
“Don’t do that.” he frowns. It just intensified. “Babe, I didn’t even properly kiss until my last year
in high school, you weren’t even there anymore! Stop pouting, don’t do that.” Taehyung laughs, a
little baffled.
“But… I liked you.” Jungkook tugs at his shirt.
“Think about it, did you really like me or were you just horny?” he asks as he pushes the fallen hair
out of Jungkook’s forehead, securing it behind his ear.
“I wanted to hold your hand.”
“Ok— that’s sweet. And surprising.” Jungkook frowns even more. “Koo, we’re engaged, what’s
wrong with you?” he chuckles. “Why is it so important to you?”
“I’d like to believe I would’ve had the chance with you.” Taehyung just tsks. “My ego has been
bruised and my day has been ruined for the second time, the amount of pain I’m feeling is—”
“If I give you a kiss, will it help?” Taehyung offers.
“Will that kiss be ten years ago?” silence. “Then no.”
“I’ll give you a hundred kisses.” he says as he moves to straddle the older man who welcomes him
in his lap. He leans down, joining their lips in a quick peck.
“One.” Taehyung pulls back.
“Are you seriously going to count?” Jungkook nods.
The blonde blinks before kissing him again. “One.” another kiss. “One.” Taehyung pulls back
again. “Five seconds minimum.” he says with his best puppy eyes, hands holding Taehyung by the
back of his thighs.
“Jungkookie, how long will that be?”
Jungkook looks away to the ceiling for two long seconds before meeting his eyes again. “Eight
minutes. Not exactly eight minutes, it’s actually eight point three m—” he goes quiet as a loud kiss
is pressed to the top of his head.
“Is there any other way to make it better?” Jungkook hums, seemingly in thought, hand tapping
Taehyung’s upper thigh almost rhythmically.
“You can say you would have kissed me.” he smiles.
“The movie can wait for eight point three minutes.”
│►
“I’d swear I stored that shit here.” Jungkook mumbles to himself as he opens yet another drawer.
“I’m on my last straw, I’m so fucking mad.”
“Babe, don’t stress so much.” Taehyung chuckles, hand still writing away on his notes. “Last time
this happened it wasn’t even where you swore it was…” he doesn’t even register the silence that
falls between them, Jungkook suddenly quiet.
“Tae, honey, love, my baby, what is this?” Jungkook asks, holding the pink object. Taehyung looks
up from his notes, eyes going as wide as ever once he sees Jungkook standing there. “This is
certainly an interesting discovery, I—”
“Stop! Put it back!” Taehyung almost screeches.
“Nope. How does this work?” he asks, examining the toy with amused eyes until he finds the small
button to turn it on. “Oh— It vibrates a lot.” Jungkook comments with a chuckle, holding it higher
so that Taehyung can’t reach it in his sitting position. “Does it feel good?”
“Try it and find out, I’m not doing this.” he tries to get up but he’s stopped, Jungkook straddling
him to hold him down. Taehyung frowns. “I hate this—”
“Why does my very sex shy boyfriend have a vibrator bigger than my dick?” Jungkook asks, a
mischievous glint in his eyes. “Hm?”
“You were gone!” Taehyung slaps him on his arm once Jungkook pokes his stomach with the end
of the toy.
“You told me you don’t masturbate… I can’t believe you lied about something this important. I
thought we could trust each other.” Jungkook forces a sigh and a frown and Taehyung has to cover
his face to hide his blush.
Jungkook pries them away. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks with a chuckle.
“Because I was embarrassed and because I knew you’d do this. Tease me.” he pouts. “I-I bought it
because Jimin suggested… I didn’t— I don’t—” Taehyung huffs. “It’s Jimin’s fault.”
“Did you use it?” Jungkook asks, eyebrow raised. Taehyung’s lips curve down in a frown, nodding.
“Did you think of me?” another nod. “Shit, that’s so hot.” he laughs quietly, poking Taehyung’s
stomach with the toy.
“Put it away!” Taehyung whines. “I swear to God, you make me want to strangle you sometimes.”
Jungkook laughs even more. “It’s— It’s not funny…!”
“Yes it is.” Jungkook leans down to kiss him, pecking his lips multiple times. “You’re so fucking
precious.” he whispers against his mouth. “Can we try it someday? I mean, together?” Jungkook
asks as he moves his kisses to Taehyung’s jaw, with no second intentions, thus him going back to
eye level soon after.
“Stop teasing me…” he frowns.
“No, no, I’m not teasing you now, I’m really asking. I want to try new shit with you, show you new
stuff, so I’m not teasing, I’m offering.” Jungkook explains. “Sex can be really… fun.”
“I’ve tried it already, shouldn’t it be your turn now?” Jungkook’s cheeks are quick to turn red and
he rushes to get away from Taehyung to store the vibrator back in the drawer it was hidden.
Taehyung giggles. “Ok, now I know how to make you stop teasing me.”
“I don’t like this one bit.”
│►
Taehyung lifts up the covers for Jungkook to join him, already late at night, many movies and two
boxes of pizzas after. “How are you feeling?” he asks once the lights are off, Jungkook hugging
him from the back as he does most of the nights
“Hm?” Jungkook makes a sound by his ear. “Oh, I’m feeling better. Way better. You always make
me feel better, baby.” he whispers, pressing a sweet kiss to the side of the neck. “I’m feeling
better.”
“Do you want to talk about the meeting?” Taehyung asks then. Jungkook chews on his bottom lip,
contemplative. “You don’t have to, but… I’d like to know and it may also help you settle a little if
you get it off of your chest.”
“He almost seemed nice at the start, I was really confused. He asked how I was and everything but
uh, as soon as I said I was engaged to a male, he flipped to what I’ve always known as my dad.”
Jungkook explains with a little sigh.
“Can I ask what did you say? How did that make you feel?” Taehyung wishes he could see
Jungkook’s eyes, they’re always a huge help at understanding what he’s feeling, but he doesn’t
want to break the moment.
“I felt angry that he thought he could do that to me again. So I told him he couldn’t, that he doesn’t
scare me anymore, that I’m happy now and he has nothing to do with me anymore. I don’t care
about his existence and I hope he does a painful death. That’s what I told him.” he clarifies. “And
as much as you may think this is terrible, I’ve never felt that relieved.”
“Did you?”
“Yeah. I really felt like… I got over him in a way. Of course I’ll never forget anything and— and
he’s going to be here—” he taps Taehyung’s temple, referring to his own. “—but I was able to say
he doesn’t affect me anymore. His words, I couldn’t care less about what he had to say… and that
felt fucking great.”
Taehyung turns around to face him, legs still tangled. “I understand that feeling.”
“You do?” Taehyung hums. “Hyungsik?”

“Yeah. I understand the feeling of being able to say they don’t affect us anymore, and I slapped
him so how stupid of me would it be to say anything regarding your words? You said what you
were feeling and you stood up for yourself. If anything, I’m proud of you.” Taehyung whispers the
ending, blindly leaning in to kiss the other, missing his mouth by a few centimeters.
“Look at us.” Jungkook chuckles, bringing the other closer. “Looks like we’re finally getting
peace, huh?”
“As long as I’m with you I’m always—”
“Don’t make me cry.” Jungkook interrupts, Taehyung giggling. “I want you to know something.
It’s a deep, deep secret, you have to keep it, ok?”
“Yeah.” Taehyung nods.
“Promise you’re going to keep the secret.” Jungkook sounds so serious it almost worries him.
“I promise…” he reassures.
“I love you.” Taehyung waits for him to go on, but he doesn’t. “That’s it.” Jungkook adds after a
few seconds.
“That’s it?” a hum. “I really had no idea, I’m so surprised.” he says with the most monotone voice
it has Jungkook’s laugh filling up the room. “I thought you actually had something.”
“I don’t have secrets from you.” Jungkook scoots closer. “Only all of my side chicks.” Taehyung
snorts.
“Send then my best regards, I know they’re going through a lot putting up with you.” Jungkook
gasps.
“Hey! That’s so mean!”
“No, it’s not, because I love putting up with you, so it cancels out the meanness of my statement.”
he says against his lips after finding them, kissing them a few times, humming into the kisses.
“Baby, I’m pretty good at math and I’m still unsure if that’s how that works.” Jungkook says
between kisses, not even bothering to pull back to sound more coherent. Taehyung’s kisses are
never a pass.
“You must be sleepy.” Taehyung hums, turning around again so that they can go back to their
usual cuddling position. “But hey, I mean it when I say I’m really proud of you.” he links their
hands, squeezing them reassuringly. “Really fucking proud.”
“You even said a bad word for me, wow.” Taehyung rolls his eyes with a chuckle. “I’m uh, proud
of myself too. So that’s— That’s kind of cool.”
“As you always should be.” he closes his eyes at the sweet little kisses pressed to his nape. “We
should sleep now, we have work tomorrow and it’s already so late.” Taehyung whispers.
“We really should.” he agrees. “Sleep well. I love you.”
“I love you too.”

│►
Chapter End Notes
The next update is going to be the last one but I couldn't possibly not show the
wedding and all of that so worry not, there are 5 extras already planned that will
follow the chapters. You ain't getting rid of this so soon!!
And now, let's discuss

◄│ 92 │►
Chapter Notes
Don't forget to keep this in your bookmarks for the extras! ((:
“Hey, can I come in?” Jungkook asks as he peeks his head in, Seojoon meeting his eyes soon after.
“I have something to ask…” he starts with a little smile, standing behind the chair. “It’s actually a
suggestion.”
“I’m all ears.” Seojoon rests back.
“Are you, by any chance, looking for a new worker?” his boss raises an eyebrow and so Jungkook
takes a seat. “It’s uh, ok, it’s someone I met in rehab and he’s a really great guy but he doesn’t have
his life together and him getting a job would be really crucial for him not to go back in…”
Jungkook explains. “Even if as a part time, it would be a really big help if you could give him a
chance at working here.”
“I’m not looking for anyone right now…” Jungkook deflates, looking down. “Does he have any
experience at working in any café or a restaurant…?”
“Uh, I’m not sure… I don’t think so.” he scratches the back of his head. “But— But I didn’t
either!” Jungkook tries. “I wouldn’t be asking if it wasn’t really important and ok, you’re the boss
so I’ll just shut up if you really don’t want anyone but this guy really needs it.”
Seojoon taps his desk, nodding. “You do realize that trusting someone with such background is
always complicated for us as employers, right?” Jungkook frowns a little, taken aback. “Don’t get
me wrong, you’re living proof that background may not mean anything, but not everyone's the
same.”
“I understand.” Jungkook nods. “And— And I get that you may think I don’t even know him all
that well, which is half true, but I wouldn’t be suggesting it if I didn’t trust him enough to be hired.
It just…” he sighs. “I know how much a second chance can mean to someone… and he really
needs it. A fresh new start. Now if you seriously don’t want anyone, I’ll just leave you to it.”
Jungkook ends with a shrug.
“Alright.” his boss nods. “What’s his name? Age?”
“Jihoon. He’s thirty two.” another nod.
“Tell him to come see me.” Jungkook scratches the back of his neck.
“He still has two weeks to go in rehab.”
“Then tell him to come once he’s out of there.” Seojoon smiles before going back to his laptop.
“I’ll have a conversation and see where he stands just like I did with you.” Jungkook’s lips stretch
into a smile.
“Thank you so much.” he gets up. “I’ll leave you to it now, but thank you, seriously.” Jungkook
bows on his way out, Eunjae rushing to him as she holds his phone. “What’s wrong?”
“Tae has tried to call you three times.” Jungkook furrows his eyebrows. “Go to the break room but
take the call, it’s even worrying me.” he grabs his phone, already accepting the call before it goes
to voicemail.
“Tae? Are you ok?” he asks, pushing the break room’s door open. There’s nothing but a sniff on
the other side. “Baby, what’s wrong? Talk to me.” Jungkook stresses, tugging at his hair. “I know
you’re at work so did something happen? You can tell me.”
“Something bad happened, I just needed to listen to your voice for a minute…” Taehyung whispers
and it breaks his heart to hear him like that.
“Are you ok? Are you hurt? Do I have to go there—”
“No, no, I’m ok… physically ok, at least.” a sniff. “One of my first patients, who I still have
sessions with almost weekly was admitted to the hospital after attempting to take his own life.” his
voice dies down at the end. “He’s in a coma.”
Jungkook looks down, shoulders relaxing. It’s bad, but Taehyung’s ok and that’s all that concerns
him in the first place. “I’m sorry, baby.” he rests his back against the wall. “How are you feeling?”
“I don’t know— It’s a terrible feeling. I had to reschedule the session I was going to have when I
was informed and Minjae has gone to get me some tea…”
“Alright, love, that's good, some tea will help you calm down a bit.” Jungkook nods to himself. “Is
he driving you home or are you going by yourself? I can ask to leave early and meet you there.”
“No—” a sniff. “—I’m finishing my shift.” Taehyung whispers. “I really just needed to listen to
your voice for a minute and to talk to you. I’ll be fine, just… needed you.” Jungkook smiles, chest
feeling full.
“I’m sorry I didn’t pick up sooner, I was talking to Seojoon about Jihoon.” Jungkook justifies. “If
you conclude you want to go home, please do call me, I’ll meet you there, alright?”
“I know.” Taehyung whispers. “Thank you.”
There’s a knock on the door before Eunjae peeks inside. “I’m so sorry for bothering but a group of
ten just came in so I’d appreciate if you could come…” Jungkook just gives her a nod.
“Taehyung, baby, I have to go now, Jae needs my help.” he sits up. “Please call me if you need,
ok? I’m right here. I love you.”
“I love you too, hyung. I’ll see you at home.”
“Mhm, see you then.”
│►
Jungkook hums a song to himself as he pushes the shopping cart through the aisles, looking for the
candles and bath products. Taehyung loves baths. He reads every label until he finds products to
create bubbles and he puts it on the cart.
He’s pretty sure Taehyung owns some bath bombs that smell heavenly and he’ll look for them
once he gets home, but that makes him just walk past the shelves with them, trying to look for the
candles.
Takes him a minute too long to find them.
There’s a big variety but he goes for the pack of twenty small ones that smell like strawberries,
adding them to the cart as well. He hopes he’ll be home before Taehyung does or his plans could
be easily ruined.
There’s some flowers available inside of the market and he ponders on how to use them. He could
pick a nice bouquet and offer them to Taehyung once he gets home or he could make a path with
them.
They’d look nice in the bathroom as well. He figures he’ll decide once he’s home, but he settles for
a nice bouquet of dark red roses. Either he keeps them or takes their petals, they’ll still be useful.
He gathers some ice cream and things he will be needing for dinner after Taehyung’s done with his
bath, even if they decide to end up ordering some food over, he’ll keep it for the next day.
Jungkook stops by the alcohol, taking a good look at the bottles. He chews on the inside of his
cheek for a few seconds before grabbing one and reading the label. He puts it back.
But then he grabs it again.
He places it on the cart before moving on.
│►
Jungkook jumps from the couch once he hears the front door opening, running towards it with
quick steps. Taehyung’s just taking his shoes off by the time he gets there. “Hey, love.” Jungkook
sing songs.
“Hey, hyung…” Taehyung greets with a tired smile, trying to follow Jungkook as he walks behind
him but he’s stopped by two hands on his shoulders, taking his jacket off. He lets him, allowing
Jungkook to lead him towards the hall while being back hugged. Jungkook works on unbuttoning
Taehyung’s shirt while doing so.
Taehyung’s a little confused, but he doesn’t say anything, especially not with the sweet innocent
kisses being pressed to the side of his neck. He’s left gaping once he sees the bathroom. It smells
like strawberries, there’s candles all around, a bubble bath waiting.
There’s rose petals both on the floor and on the tub and Taehyung’s lips tug down in a silent coo,
turning back to his fiancé. “Did you prepare this for me?”
“Of course.” Jungkook gives him a little smile, combing his bangs away before pressing a kiss to
his forehead. “You need to relax after such stressful events.” he whispers, hands going down to
Taehyung’s pants, popping them open easily.
The younger man just lets him get rid of his clothes, taking Jungkook’s hand as he’s lead to the
tub. The water is just the right temperature and that’s exactly what he needs on his tense shoulders.
Jungkook sits down on the floor next to him after closing the door to keep their pets away, reaching
for something Taehyung didn’t even notice. Two wine glasses, one handed to him right away. The
bottle is already open and Taehyung is confused.
He seems to notice the hard stare, once he turns the label towards him. Zero percent alcohol, it
says. “I know you like to have your wine talks with Jimin sometimes so I figured wine would be a
good addition to your bath… and I want us to feel normal so I bought this one so that I’m able to
join you.” Jungkook explains as he fills up Taehyung’s glass.
Taehyung simply observes him with a proud smile as Jungkook fills up his own glass. Just enough,
not even halfway through, not wanting to risk anything.
“It may taste really bad, actually, I don’t know if alcohol affects the flavor or stuff or not but—”
“It’s perfect, baby, thank you.” Taehyung interrupts, tone soft. “Thank you so much.” Jungkook
puts the bottle down, twirling the glass in his hand for a second.
“It— It took me a lot to buy this. I went back to the shelf three times after being at the line to the
cashier.” he sighs. “But it’s alcohol free, right, it should be safe.”
“It is.” Taehyung nods. “Can I just say how proud I am of you?” he whispers with a little smile,
leaning back on the tub. Jungkook just tilts his head. “You’ve come so far. You’re— I love you.”
Jungkook chuckles, lifting himself on his knees once Taehyung pouts, pointing towards his lips.
He kisses him twice, light, and softly. A third longer time. “I love you too.” he whispers against his
lips, pecking them one last time before sitting back down.
They cheer with their glasses, both giggling before taking a sip. Jungkook feels almost guilty from
drinking it, but he tries to reassure himself that it’s not alcoholic, he’s not doing anything bad. He’s
just having a good time with his fiancé. Nothing else.
“It’s good wine, I actually like it.” Taehyung comments.
“Whiskey is better but— I’m joking, stop looking at me like that.” Jungkook laughs quietly. “It is a
nice wine.” Taehyung rolls his eyes with a smile, taking another sip before they fall quiet for a few
seconds, just looking at each other. Jungkook on the floor, Taehyung in the tub.
“Thank you for doing this.” he whispers after a while. “You didn’t have to.” Jungkook tsks.
“Of course I did, you were upset and I’ll make sure you relax so that we can talk about it. But first,
you’ll enjoy your hot bath and your wine, then we can talk.” he explains, grabbing the bottle to fill
up Taehyung’s glass once again. “Being engaged to me has its perks, baby.”
“I can see that.” Taehyung giggles, a comfortable silence filling up the bathroom again.
“Remember Christmas at my mom’s?” he breaks the silence.
“How could I forget that?” Jungkook smiles, lovingly. “The week that changed literally everything
between us, it’s impossible to forget.”
“I know.” Taehyung nods. “I stop to think about it sometimes… I wonder if I would’ve realized my
feelings for you if you hadn’t confessed like that.” Jungkook chews on the inside of his cheek.
“It’s… I don’t like the thought of us not being together, it feels like such a long time ago but we’re
literally still in April.”
“We could’ve been together for longer had you not been so dense.” Jungkook points out. “I
dropped so many hints, you just refused to acknowledge them.”
“Your hints were stupid, we’re not going to put the blame on me.” Taehyung shakes his head. “I
thought you were just… doing best friend stuff. You can’t tell me anything we did before
acknowledging it was that obvious or overbearing.”
“Tae, baby, I told my girlfriend at the time that my Taehyungie time came before her.” Taehyung’s
eyes grow bigger, mouth opening a little. “And I thought that was super normal, I— We’re stupid
for not realizing sooner. Period.”
“No, you’re stupid.” he points.
“I realized it sooner so what does that say about you?” Jungkook smiles, taking a sip from his
glass. Taehyung closes his eyes, leaning back again.
“I can’t hear you.”
│►
“Are you feeling better?” Jungkook asks after a few minutes of a comfortable silence, him sitting
with his back against the wall as Taehyung relaxes under the hot water. Their glasses next to
Jungkook on the floor.
“A lot better.” Taehyung nods. “Thank you so much.” he sighs and there’s a long beat of silence
before he goes on. “I just feel bad about what happened, doctors said he may not make it and that
even if he does, he may have permanent scars given he was assumed dead for a few minutes… it’s
complicated.”
“Want to tell me what happened?”
“You know I can’t…” Taehyung sighs again. “I feel like I failed at my job, I couldn’t help him.”
“Baby.” Jungkook sits up straight. “Not everyone will always get better, you know how everyone
is affected differently, you know all of this better than I do, you’re a therapist, babe, you know how
some people won’t be able to be helped no matter how hard we try to.” he tries, voice slow and
careful. He doesn’t want to just say whatever and make zero sense.
“I know… but I could’ve done more, I should’ve done more I just— I just should’ve.” he shakes
his head.
“Tae… I’m depressed, you’ve read the diagnosis Namjoon gave me yourself, I, no matter how
happy I am, at the end of the day, I still have that problem in my life. And I can assure you, coming
home to your loving arms a few years ago, would not stop me from doing the same thing he
attempted on my dark days. You can’t blame yourself for not being able to help everyone, you
won’t be able to save everyone that knocks on your door, and you can’t feel guilty of that,
otherwise you’ll end up feeling miserable in your job.”
“I just… I just want to help people.” Taehyung whispers, looking down as he quietly plays with the
bubbles on his hands.
“I know, and you do that. You are doing it, daily… but the mind is a personal battle, isn’t that what
you told me? Hm? You can only do so much.” Jungkook reaches up to comb Taehyung’s wet hair
away. “I’m sorry that you couldn’t help this person as much as you’d like but you did everything
you could. I know you and I know you did. You should be proud of that.”
“You really have a talent with words, huh?” Taehyung smiles, weak, sitting up to be at eye level
with the other. “You’re following the wrong path in college, you should be a therapist yourself.”
Jungkook laughs at that. “The only person I will willingly listen to like this, is you, so no.” he
shakes his head. “Besides, imagine me being triggered by something a patient tells me then I end
up having a breakdown during the session.”
“Oh, no, they’d be the ones asking what’s wrong.” Taehyung plays along, giggling. “You’d
succeed at everything you tried so if your intuition, if your dream is to study what you’re studying,
then you’re going to do great things in the future, I’m sure of it.”
“All thanks to you.” Jungkook cups his cheek. “Why, you may ask? Because you’re fucking great
at your job and were able to get me comfortable enough to trust you blindly. Were able to… get us
where we are right now. So I don’t want to hear you bad mouthing your skills ever again, okay?”
Taehyung nods.
“Nope, you have to say it.” Jungkook instructs.
“I promise.” he links his pinky with Jungkook’s once offered and they both lean in to kiss their
hands as they always do. Jungkook intertwines his fingers then, pulling Taehyung’s hand to his
mouth to kiss it over the engagement earring. “You’re the happiest I’ve been.”
“Huh?”
“Yeah.” Taehyung nods. “Makes sense in my head.”
“I’m the happiest you’ve been?” Taehyung only nods again. “I have to give that one a thought…”
Jungkook tilts his head, trying to process those words. “What’s the thought process behind that?”
Taehyung giggles. “Just.” Jungkook frowns. “Just take it exactly as I say it. Being with you, ever
since we got together… I’ve never been this happy.”
“Oh— Why couldn't you just say that?” he tsks. “But yes, you’re also the happiest I’ve been,
whatever sense that makes in your head.”
“Hey, it’s a nice quote.” Taehyung defends.
“I have to disagree.” Jungkook chuckles. “You could’ve said I’m your happiness or something like
that, but no, I’m the happiest you’ve been.”
“I hate you.” he mumbles.
“You can’t say that you hate me while looking at me with those eyes.” Jungkook says, resting
back onto the wall again, a cocky smile on his lips.
“I happen not to have any other pair of eyes.”
Jungkook glares at him. “You're the most insulted I’ve been.” he tries to stay serious, though the
bathroom is soon filled with the sounds of him snorting.
“Oh my God, shut up!”
│►
Jungkook scrolls through his social media, chuckling at some of the ads, until his finger makes it
stop on a certain one. It’s a gadget for babies, a little suit that gets them to wipe the floors as they
crawl on their knees and it has Jungkook imagining actually dressing his kid on such thing.
He touches Taehyung’s arm with his naked foot, as Taehyung is sitting on the bottom of the bed in
his bathrobe, applying some lotion to his legs. Taehyung looks up at him, who’s already showing
him the ad.
“Isn’t this so stupid but funny?” he chuckles again. “We will have to dress our kid in this, think of
the time we’d save cleaning all of these floors.” Jungkook comments.
“Baby… we can’t.” Taehyung whispers.
Jungkook takes the phone back. “You’re right, the kid may have allergies or it could fuck up their
lungs.” he nods to himself, already scrolling down again. “I’m so going to tell them all of our
stories.” Jungkook perks up again, sitting up, locking his phone. “Wouldn’t it be so great to tell
them how their parents met?”
“Jungkook…” it’s another faint whisper, Taehyung no longer focused on applying the lotion,
simply rubbing what he has on his hands already on his arms to get rid of it, a sad expression on his
features.
“Oh?” Jungkook’s shoulders sag. “I thought you wanted kids…? I— I thought we’d adopt one, one
day, I’ve mentioned it many times and you were never opposed to the idea…?” he asks, confused.
“It’s not that, baby, it’s… we won’t be able to adopt a child together.” Taehyung tries to explain
without explaining it, Jungkook getting more and more confused at that.
“Is it… because we’re two men? Jin is a lawyer, he’ll just make us a case, it’s—”
“It’s not that either.” Taehyung interrupts, scooting closer. “You have to listen to me after I say
what I’m going to say, ok? Promise.” Jungkook nods. “The Korean laws say that uh…” he looks
down, the pressure in his chest already starting. He doesn’t even know how to say that. “The law
says that people with criminal records aren’t eligible for child adoption.” Taehyung says in one go,
looking up.
Jungkook has no expression, his eyes look empty and Taehyung has no idea what he’s thinking.
“What…?” he whispers after a few seconds.
Taehyung grabs his hands. “It’s stupid, it’s a stupid law, so inconsiderate and unfair but… it
dictates that those who have once broken any law, can’t adopt children. I’m so sorry, hyung.” he
whispers the ending. “I thought you knew, hyung, that’s why I never— said anything.”
“Oh.” Jungkook whispers. Only that.
“Baby, what are you thinking? Talk to me, c’mon.” Taehyung encourages, rubbing reassuring
circles to the back of his hand. “Don’t shut off, tell me.”
“I’m thinking that I’ve fucked your life. Again.”
“No, you didn’t. Why would you think that?” Taehyung frowns, a sad one, scooting even closer to
him. “Why would you say such thing?”
“You’ve always wanted kids, you’ve told me so yourself and that’s being taken away from you
because you’ve chosen to be with me— and don’t say all you need is me or that it’s not a big deal,
because you feel like that for now, you only want me for now, one day you’ll want kids, one day
you’ll realize you didn’t make it to one of your biggest goals and— I’ve fucked it all up again.”
Jungkook’s eyes shine with tears, a quick one already falling down his cheek. Taehyung hates that,
he hates seeing Jungkook cry. It makes him cry too.
“You can’t say that. You can’t think like that. It’s not your fault, we both know how you having a
criminal record is not your fault, you can’t take the blame for it. It’s something from the past, we’ll
just have to live with it, hyung. It’s just—”
“How can I not think like this?!” he pulls his hands away, voice breaking. “I can’t just brush this
off, I can’t adopt a child, I’m never— I’m never going to be a father and if you stay with me,
neither will you. It’s not about living with it, it’s… everything. It’s our whole future and I’ve ruined
it.” Jungkook wipes his tears away, getting up from the bed.
“Babe…” Taehyung reaches for his hand but Jungkook pulls back, walking out of the room. And
Taehyung lets him, sometimes Jungkook needs his space.
It’s a heavy topic, so Taehyung will let him have it.
│►
Taehyung looks at the clock on the wall once he’s done tidying up their bedroom. It’s been over an
hour of a silent apartment and he figures it’s more than enough, he can’t just drop it, so he pets
Moon on the bed before going after the other.
Jungkook’s in the living room, sitting on the floor in the far end of the windows, looking down.
Taehyung walks up to him, sitting right behind him and putting his arms around his torso before
laying his head against Jungkook’s shoulder blade.
Jungkook sniffs.
“We can get another dog.” Taehyung whispers.
“It’s not the same and you know it.” Jungkook whispers back, a little pained, still hurt.
“It’s going to be ok.” he reassures, his hands pulling him even closer. “It’s going to be fine.”
“Tae, we can’t even get married here, we’ll be engaged forever, and now you’re telling me I can’t
adopt a kid because of my past mistakes. How can you still want to be with me? Why aren’t you
walking out?” Jungkook’s voice breaks by the end.
Taehyung puts one leg over his lap, closing them around him in some sort of a side hug while still
sitting down. He turns his face by the chin to make eye contact. “Listen to me.” he starts. “I knew
from the moment you spoke about the record that you wouldn’t be able to adopt kids, and I let
myself fall in love with you anyway. I thought you knew, so I didn’t say anything, and I’m so sorry
you didn’t know. But I knew the consequences that record would have for us, and I still love you
and I still want to marry you. I want to grow old with you. You having this record and what it
means for us has never and will never change that, so don’t think for one second I’m going to leave
you because of this.”
Jungkook just shakes his head, trying to look away, but Taehyung keeps it still. Keeps him there.
“We can and we will marry abroad. You will have me walking up to you, the laws can change, we
never know. Hyung… we never know. The only thing I know is that I love you. I’m so, so in love
with you. I’m not leaving you. Ever. Doesn’t matter what situation we’re in.” it ends up as a faint
whisper, emotion taking over him.
“They’ll never trust criminals to adopt children, Tae, that won’t change and I’m so fucking stupid
for never thinking of that.” Jungkook frowns, beyond upset.
“You’re not a criminal.”

“That’s not what the law sees.”
Taehyung sighs. “I want to reassure you and help but I honestly have no idea of what to say in this
situation. I don’t know what to tell you.” he admits, looking down.
“I don’t think there’s anything you can.” Jungkook whispers, allowing himself to be embraced by
the other as they fall silent, Taehyung hugging him close.
They’re quiet for a long while, both sniffing from time to time, just keeping each other close.
“We can still try with Seokjin.” Taehyung whispers, breaking the silence. “After getting married.
We can try. What you did can be justified by many things, we can tell the judge about all the
traumas and— and all the complications. We can make a solid case.”
“Don’t.” he shakes his head slowly. “Don’t give me hope that can be crushed so easily.”
“I’m not giving you hope.” Taehyung climbs onto his lap completely, cupping his cheeks. “I’m
giving us hope. And if that hope is crushed, then we’ll deal with that. Together.” he caresses his
cheek with his thumb.
Jungkook just pulls him closer, hiding his face on the other’s neck. That’s all he needs. Taehyung
there.
│►
Taehyung looks away from the television to face his fiancé, who’s still looking down, upset, and
still bothered by his thoughts, hands fidgeting with the hem of Taehyung’s shirt. “Are you feeling
better?” he asks. Jungkook just shrugs. “Are you happy with me right now?” Taehyung asks, tone
more serious.
Jungkook looks up. “I’m always my happiest when I’m with you.” he says with no hesitation.
“Me too.” the blonde guarantees. “That will never change. As long as we’re together, I’m happy. I
promise. You’re the only… thing, that I need.”
“But we both want kids—”
“Baby, we don’t know what the future holds for us, we don’t even know if we’ll stay here, what if
we move somewhere where the laws are different?” Taehyung gives him a tight smile. “We’re
young, Jungkook, we’re still young. We have… so many opportunities to come.”
Jungkook just looks away.
“Give me a minute.” Taehyung gets up and the other doesn’t even bother to call back, he’s too
upset, so he just goes back to fiddling with something, that being the nearest throw pillow.
He’s unsure of how long it takes for Taehyung to return with a little ring box. “Babe— What’s
that?” Jungkook asks with his eyes growing wide. “Tae…”
“I bought these.” Taehyung sits down again, throwing his legs over Jungkook’s lap, the latter’s
hand resting on his inner thigh right away. “I was going to bring them up in a better context but I
see it fitting right now. As much as the earrings are pretty and unique, we should have something
more… fitting.”
Jungkook takes the box from his hand to open it, seeing two beautiful engagement rings. They’re
not too over the top, but they’re definitely different from the earrings that they both have.
“I know we’ll always encounter adversities, I know we’ll have tough moments, maybe not even as
a couple and more as individuals but I know that we’ll be there for each other as that happens. I
know you’ll have your miserable days just like I know I’ll have moments where I’m insecure.
We’ll both have to deal with that. Just like we’ll deal with anything else thrown our way, as we’ve
been doing so far. We dealt with Hyungsik, we dealt with my insecurities, we dealt with your
problems opening up, we dealt with your alcoholism, we dealt with… everything. And we did that
together, didn’t we?” Jungkook nods. “We never left each other’s side, no matter how dark it got,
so don’t think for a second that will ever happen. We’ll always find a way to be happy, we’ll
always find a way around things. We’ll get through everything.”
Jungkook already has an easy tear rolling down. “Do you promise?” Taehyung nods, pulling him
closer for a kiss before switching their earrings to the rings.
“No one’s ever done anything for me like you do, Tae. Daily. Thank you. I love you so fucking
much… not to sound cliché or corny or whatever but you truly saved my life, you— you gave me
reasons to keep going when I had none and I’m so fucking happy with you, and that’s crazy, I’ve
never in my life was happy, and I wake up with a purpose, and I-I want to live now, isn’t that just
— insane? I want to live. I’m the happiest with you. And you make me want to stay here now.”
Taehyung cups his cheeks. They’re both crying, be it happiness or sadness, they don’t even know
anymore.
“You’re the happiest with me, I’m the happiest with you. And I’m so proud of you, of how much
you’ve grown in the past year, I fucking love you so much, and we’ll just— we’ll get through
everything now, it will be hard sometimes, I know it will, but I’m here. And you’re here. And
we’ll do it together. We’ll grow together as individuals and as a couple, we’ll figure this out
together and we’ll heal together.” Taehyung whispers the ending against the lips, resting his
forehead against Jungkook’s, both closing their eyes.
“W-We’ll do it together.” Taehyung nods. “You promise? Do you promise this is really what you
want?”
“I promise. I don’t want anything or any future without you in it. I’d rather not have kids if we’re
not able to, ever, than not having you. I promise. I’m being a hundred percent honest. I want you.
Only you.”
“I love you.” Jungkook utters through a little sob.
“I love you too.” Taehyung pulls him closer. “We’ll do it together, ok? You’ll have me here,
forever. I’ll never leave your side. We’ll do this together.”
Jungkook sniffs. “Together sounds fucking amazing.”
│►
Now that we're done, I'll do that shameless plug and recomend y'all my on-going aus hehe
- Soldier Jungkook Au
- Gang Taekook Au
│►
Chapter End Notes
I know this ending is a bit bittersweet but I hope that, after reading 92 chapters and
over 400k words, you can understand that this is the fitting ending this au needed. It's
sad, but also happy and hopeful and it does leave a lot to wonder... so stick to the
extras! I'll post one tomorrow already! <3 I hope you've enjoyed this au, it's really my
favorite creation so far.
◄│ EXTRA: 1 │►
Chapter Notes
Taehyung hums a melody to himself, putting on his earring before taking a step back to look at
himself in the mirror. The only thing left to do is his makeup but he already likes what he’s seeing.
“No, shoo, leave.” he hears Jimin whisper yelling by the door and he looks back, even if he can’t
see him. Who is he shooing away? His best friend just went to get some water, he should have
returned ready to do the best winged eyeliner possible.
“Let me in, move…!” Jungkook’s voice comes through in the same tone and Taehyung giggles,
relaxing in his chair. “C’mon, Jimin, just— one minute.”
“No, hyung, you’re not supposed to see him, go away, go finish getting dressed or else.” Jimin
threatens and there’s a slapping sound before Jungkook’s pained complaint follows. Taehyung has
to stop himself from laughing. “Go away!”
“Jimin, you’re not getting the point. I literally miss him.”
“Those puppy eyes aren’t going to work, it’s been a day, leave right now.” he whisper yells again.
“I’m serious, I’ll pick you up and throw you into your room again then lock you inside.”
“Just one peek.”
“No, it ruins the surprise.” Jimin is quick to say.
“Fuck you.” Taehyung snorts.
“Fuck you too, now go, go, shoo.” there’s some rustling before the door closes and Taehyung can
hear Jimin twisting the keys twice. “Your man is so stubborn, he looked like a kicked puppy, I
swear to God, how do you ever say no to him?” Jimin complains as he comes back, fixing his tie.
“Why did you kick him out…? He sounded sad.” Taehyung says with a pout, the same puppy eyes
Jungkook had on just some seconds prior.
“Not you too— it’s been a day!” Jimin throws his hands in the air. “You two have some separation
issues.”
“From each other, probably.” Taehyung shrugs. “Can you do my makeup? You have finer hands.”
Jimin smiles, grabbing the makeup bag before dragging a chair to sit right in front of him. “Mess
my suit up and we’ll stop being friends.”
“This is too much pressure, wait a minute, I’ll get a towel.” he informs, getting up again. Taehyung
grabs his phone when Jungkook’s sound of notification fills the room and he sees a picture of the
latter tearing up, the poorest angle possible, the description being nothing but a simple ‘let me see
you’ that Taehyung can’t not coo at.
So he looks around to make sure Jimin is gone before he takes a picture in the same angle, not
showing too much. He sends with a little heart emoji and a laughing one and puts the phone back
down.
He waits patiently for a reply and he laughs into his palm when it’s another picture, this time
Jungkook actually has two tears rolling down. He’s not sure of what to do, he really wants to run
out of the room to wipe them away for him, but he doesn’t want to ruin the so called tradition.
Besides, he finds it really cute.
“Alright, I got two towels.” Jimin informs and Taehyung has to lock his phone, putting it back
down. “One for your lap and the other for your torso, let me just…” he places them for him, tying
the towel behind his neck with a hair tie. “Now, do we want Jungkook to cry when he sees you or
just go wow?”
“He’s already crying.” Jimin raises an eyebrow. “I uh, I can feel it. I know him well enough. He
cries easily.”
“Alright. So, what are we feeling?” Taehyung eyes himself in the mirror again. “Lipstick? Do we
want that? We only ever wear makeup for night outs and this is very much a serious occasion so I
don’t know what to do here, you pick.”
“I think a lipstick would take the attention from my tie.” he says, eyeing the purple tie through the
mirror. Jungkook didn’t even bat an eyelash before agreeing to let purple be one of the colors of
their day. “Maybe just lip gloss…? I think it would be better.”
“Alright.” Jimin nods. “Eyeshadow? Are we feeling an eyeshadow?” he giggles at himself.
“Uh… maybe a little, but not too dark.” Taehyung instructs, hands resting on his thighs. “And
liner, Jungkook loves it, I can’t not have liner.”
“Winged?” Taehyung nods. “Alright, I know what to do, just sit back and let me do what I’m best
at.” the blonde rolls his eyes with a smile, letting him add two clippers to his hair to keep it out of
the way.
They’re both quiet for a while then, enjoying the faint ambient music, occasionally singing along
to it.
“How are you feeling?” Jimin asks.
“Uhm… kind of nervous but at the same time it’s not really nerves, I’m just… giddy.” Taehyung
tries to explain. “But really happy and honestly over the moon with all of this.”
“You two have been engaged for two years, I’d be over the moon too… Hoseok and I waited a few
months and it still felt like so long.” Jimin comments, flicking his wrist in a continuous motion to
properly apply the light brown eyeshadow. “You’re going to leave this place with a ring on your
finger.”
“I know— this feels like a dream.” Taehyung sighs. “I just… I love him so, so freaking much,
Jimin, you don’t understand.” he opens his eyes for a second, only to quickly close them again to
avoid getting smacked. “I can’t believe the day we’ve been anticipating so much has finally come.
We’re so excited.”
“We’re in Spain, it’s hot as hell, you’re getting married to the love of your life and then you’ll
enjoy the best honeymoon week by the beach, I’d be worried if you two weren’t excited.” Jimin
says with a quiet laugh and Taehyung just hums in agreement. “Can you imagine someone going to
us, twelve years ago, and tell us I’d one day be doing your makeup for you to get married to Jeon
Jungkook?”
“I’d think they might’ve been on drugs.” Jimin laughs. “I’d run away and change my name at the
idea of ending up with that guy… we found each other when we were destined to.”
“I can’t even argue with that, if you two weren’t destined then destiny isn’t a thing.” Jimin shrugs.
“I can’t wait for the ceremony.” he shrieks.
“Stop…! You’re going to get me actually nervous.” Taehyung complains. “I want to be the
collected one, as I know he’s not going to be collected at all.” he ends up with a quiet giggle. “I
have to keep him collected.”
Jimin straightens up. “Alright, alright, let’s finish this so that you won’t be late. Alright, I have to
do my best.”
│►
Jungkook fixes his tie for the umpteenth time, his hands sweating. “Dude, I’m so fucking
nervous.” he tells Yoongi and Seokjin, both standing by his side given they’re his best men. “I’m
sweating, I’m honestly sweating so much, I feel like—”
“You have mascara running down your cheeks and he hasn’t even showed up yet, can you stop…!”
Yoongi instructs with a quiet laugh. Jungkook just watches as Jimin joins Hoseok across from him,
standing where Taehyung’s best men should be, and he feels himself sweating even harder. Jimin
being there means Taehyung’s ready.
“Holy fuck, I’m going to puke.” he says, having to close his eyes to breathe properly. He never
thought he’d have a wedding, let alone that many guests, a family in the front row, his best friends
all cheering for him. It’s crazy to even think about.
“Jungkook, I swear to God.” he opens his eyes to see Nira standing in front of him, her high heels
making her as tall as Jungkook himself. “You look like a fucking raccoon already.” Jungkook can’t
even laugh at himself, he knows if he starts laughing he will end up crying and he can’t have that
so soon.
“I can’t do this.” Jungkook let’s out as Nira starts cleaning up his smudged mascara and her hand
freezes at his words.
“If you run away I’ll personally beat you up.”
“No— What the fuck, I meant stop crying.” he tsks. “Just wipe it all away. I want to look proper
and not like I cried for ten minutes.”
“You’re the dumbest person I know.” she shakes her head slowly, making sure all the mascara is
gone, going as far as licking her own finger, Jungkook leaning away so quickly he’s sure he pulls
something in his back. “You look w—”
The piano fills up the place and Nira quickly runs back to her place next to her boyfriend, Jihoon
winking at Jungkook who sends him a nervous smile. Everyone gets up to see Taehyung
approaching.
Someone pats Jungkook’s shoulder and he doesn’t even turn to see which one of them did it, he
just wants to see Taehyung, make sure it’s real and that it’s really happening. He wants to make
sure Taehyung didn’t run off, he wants to make sure he’s actually getting married to the absolute
love of his life.
Taehyung finally appears and Jungkook swears the air gets knocked out of his lungs as he sees
him. He always looks beautiful, there hasn’t been a day Jungkook didn’t have to take a moment to
take a proper look at the younger man, but he’s never seen him like that. There’s a new glow to it.
He looks God sent, angelic, absolutely perfect.
And Jungkook is proud of himself for not bursting in tears as Taehyung starts walking, his father’s
arm linked with his own, but as the other gets just a few steps away, Jungkook’s knees give out.
Some gasp, including Taehyung, thinking he may have passed out, but he raises a hand to let them
know he’s ok, he just can’t physically take it.
The guests more than amused to see it.
He feels a hand helping him up from where he kneels, Taehyung’s pretty, slender fingers linking
with his own as he gets back up on his feet. “Hey.” Taehyung says with an adorable giggle.
Jungkook eyes him up and down, feeling the tears come back the same second. “Why do you look
so—” he’s interrupted by himself as he starts crying again, throwing his head back, fully aware that
the quiet laughs in the room are loving the scene and that his friends will never let him live that
down.
“You look like a little raccoon.” Taehyung comments with a shaky chuckle, he himself at the brink
of tears. Jungkook looks perfect. He always does, but apart from the ruined makeup, he looks the
happiest Taehyung has even seen and that makes him emotional. Jungkook looks even more
beautiful when he’s happy. He wishes he saw it way more often.
They’re working on it.
Jungkook sniffs as Taehyung carefully wipes his mascara away. “I want to kiss you, can we run off
and then return? Please, I’m going to cry.”
“You’re currently crying, babe.” he points out with a giggle and Jungkook shakes his head.
“Cry harder than now.” Jungkook stresses.
“Well, I’m sorry to inform but you have to wait until we finish this.” everyone takes their seats as
the priest clears his throat and they both face the man. “You look so handsome.” Taehyung
whispers.
“You look really fucking pretty.” he whispers back.
“You can’t curse in a church, c’mon.” Taehyung giggles, nudging him with his elbow. “Babe, if
your vows have any f words or s words on it, the priest will kick us out.”
“I may have to make some changes then.”
“I can’t believe this.”
│►
“You may now read your vows, as I’m sure you have them ready already.” the priest indulges,
gesturing. They turn towards each other and Taehyung shoves his hand into his pocket, taking out
a short handwritten letter that he prepared a few days prior.
“So, I wrote something that I thought was worthy of being read here but I will tell you so much
more once we’re alone, I’ll tell you what only you must hear.” Taehyung starts as he unfolds the
paper. “There’s a lot to say and words feel so… they don’t feel enough and I’m rarely at a loss of
words but I feel so passionate about you and I love you so much that I couldn’t make myself write
something big enough or good enough to convey everything I want to say… so this is really short,
and I’ll just tell you and show you later exactly what I mean.” Jungkook raises an eyebrow.
“Shush.” he whispers, already knowing the other’s mind.
Jungkook just smiles to himself, eyeing him.
“You came into my life when I didn’t know what true happiness was, when I didn’t know what
was like to have someone loving me, when I didn’t know what love actually was. You came into
my life when I needed someone like you the most, when I needed you the most…” he sniffs, hands
a little shaky as he holds the paper. “You came into my life, and please don’t cringe at this, but to
save it, and you really did it. You’re what I’m the most thankful for in life and you’ve become the
light of it. We’ve been together for little over two years and you’ve showed me what’s like to be
loved, you’ve showed me what’s like to come home to warm arms, to a welcoming kiss and to
accepting, understanding ears, and I vow today, I vow to you, to always give that back to you.
From today on, I vow to be the welcoming home that you are to me.” Taehyung ends with a smile,
two lines of mascara running down his cheeks.
Jungkook would love to say he’s doing any better, he just doesn’t have more mascara to mess up.
“It’s my turn now.” he figures, grabbing his own paper. “This shit is— no fuck I can’t— oh my
God, I’m so sorry.” he covers his mouth, eyeing the priest who simply gives him a shake of the
head, the guests laughing quietly. “I didn’t mean to curse, I’m sorry.” he clears his throat. “I’ll just
go on and read this… I have so much to tell you, though, this was so hard to write.” he sniffs.
“We’ll have a lot to say later.” Taehyung giggles.
“We really will— You look so beautiful, too, I just have to mention.” if his friends face palm, no
one mentions. “I wrote this last night…” Jungkook clears his throat. “I haven’t seen you in almost
two days, I really miss you, which will probably sound bad to everyone that hears this, but you
know the feeling, so I just want to tell you that being without you, especially at night after a long
day, doesn’t even feel the same anymore, and thinking about how empty I feel when I sleep apart,
just further proves that this is the best thing we could’ve done.” Jungkook sniffs, looking at him
for just a second before continuing. He closes his eyes, knowing what’s to come. There’s a lot of
people there.
A lot of people to hear his words.
“All my life I’ve been a broken, damaged man, a broken boy when we first met all those years ago,
and you still saw right through that, you had enough faith in me to think I’d be able to heal, to think
I’d be able to get over some of the many, many obstacles in my life and f word if you didn’t.” the
guests laugh, and so do they, Taehyung reaching for him to slap his arm with no strength. “You’ve
made me better, you continue to make me better, happier each day and I want to vow to be the best
version of myself with you. I vow to make you just as happy, I vow to have just as much of an
impact on you as you have on me. And I vow to be the husband I never thought I would. I vow to
make sure we don’t change, to make sure we stay like this, to make sure our love does nothing but
grow from now on, and I vow to one day be able to give just as much as you do, because I
wouldn’t be here today, not even in this room alone waiting for our wedding day, but breathing.
I’m here because of you. And I’m so thankful for it, being alive gave me you, and I’m thankful I
never gave up, because I can’t imagine life without you.”
Taehyung’s sobbing. Jungkook’s sobbing. There’s not one single guest who hasn’t gone from
laughing to tearing up, but they don’t even care for them, they just look at each other.
They have to look away when they hear paws hitting the floor, Moon walking towards them with a
little black box in her mouth. Everyone coos. “Oh, baby, come here.” Jungkook calls, bending
down to get the box.
Jimin quickly whistles to get her back.
“So now, we move on onto your promise, and these shall be your vows to the years you will spend
together.” the priest says as he opens the box, taking one of the rings and handing it to Jungkook.
“Please place it on the tip of Taehyung’s finger.” he does. “And now, please repeat after me, if you
will.”
“I, Kim Jungkook, take you, Kim Taehyung, to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and hold,
to respect and love, from this day forward. For better, for worse…” he pushes the ring higher as he
repeats. “For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.” he finishes,
pushing the ring to the right place, taking Taehyung’s hand to his lips to kiss it.
He chews on the inside of his cheek when it’s Taehyung’s turn to grab the ring and he yanks his
hand back when the ring is placed on his finger. “Babe…”
“I can’t freaking do this, hold on, give me a second, I need to pull myself together.” Jungkook says,
waving a hand in front of his eyes, having to take a breather.
“Honey, you haven’t had it together the whole week.”
“I know just— ok, go on.” the guests laugh. Again.
“I, Kim Taehyung, take you, Kim Jungkook, to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and hold,
to respect and love, from this day forward. For better, for worse…” he pushes the ring higher,
Jungkook letting out a quiet cry. “For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us
part.” he finishes, grabbing Jungkook’s hand to kiss it as well.
They both smile through their tears, hands intertwining.
“I now pronounce you lawfully wedded.” the priest says, blessing both of them with his hand.
“You may now k—” Taehyung steps closer, both of his hands cupping Jungkook’s cheeks to kiss
him, interrupting the priest halfway through the word
Jungkook’s hands hold him by the waist, pulling him even closer so that they’re pressed together.
“I love you.” he whispers against Taehyung’s lips, kissing him again. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too.” Taehyung cries, eyes closed, their foreheads pressed together. “Husband.”
“Holy fuck, you’re my husband.”
They walk hand in hand, petals and rice grains being thrown by the guests as they walk out of the
church, Jungkook squeezing the other’s hand to get his attention over all the yelling and clapping.
“Did I absolutely ruin it?” he asks.
“You did way better than I was expecting.” Taehyung giggles, squeezing his hand back. “Our
wedding pictures will have a nice feature of your swollen eyes.”
“Honestly, I spent the whole week thinking I was going to pass out during the vows so I’m really
fucking proud that I didn’t.” Jungkook says with a quiet laugh.
“The floors are stone, you’d split your head, what a mess that would be.” they just giggle, waving
back at the guests as they reach the car that would take them to the small venue they found perfect
for the after party. The gardens are huge and the flowers looked so beautiful on the pictures they
saw online, they just had to go with it. They almost felt bad for the guests having to rent cars to get
there. Almost. It was worth it.
They enter the car, Jungkook opening the door for Taehyung to enter first. He goes in soon after.
“Congratulations.” the driver says with a smile.
“Oh, thank you.” they both smile back before the man lifts up a black divider for them to have
their privacy at the back. They sit there holding hands for a moment, heads resting back.
“I’m so happy.” Jungkook whispers, eyes filled with emotion as they stare back into Taehyung’s,
both quiet, unable to let go of each other or so much break their eye contact.
“Do you understand… how loved I felt? With your reaction.” he says, hand squeezing Jungkook’s.
“Me crying?” Jungkook laughs quietly.
“Yeah… you've always had your problems and we both know you still have a long way to go to for
you to feel like you… like you’re over some of it and— we both know how you still have those
days where things are really hard so to see you cry with nothing but absolute happiness and the—
the love in your eyes was so real, hyung, you make me feel so loved. Every day.”
“I do love you, so much.” Jungkook smiles. “I’m the happiest when I’m with you so I just… I can’t
hide it.”
Taehyung is silent for a second, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he studies Jungkook’s eyes.
They still hold tears but they’re not falling anymore. “I used to think love was something perfect,
something… that has to be right all the time. You’ve made me realize love is not like that, it’s not
about being perfect, it’s not about being happy every second of the day, but it’s about finding
happiness in each other.” he says as he drags himself closer. “You’re my happiness and I hope I’m
yours too.” Taehyung whispers.
Jungkook isn’t even able to put it into words, how much he feels, how tight his chest is, so he
simply leans in, joining their lips again, so deep and full of emotion they have a second where
neither of them moves until they pick up their pace, Jungkook cupping his jaw, pulling him closer
until he’s got a lap full of Taehyung.
They kiss until they run out of breath and have to pull away, but Taehyung doesn’t move. “I love
you. More than you’ll ever know, hyung.”
Jungkook looks down at their hands, the wedding rings shining. “We’re really— married now. I
can’t believe I just… got married to the love of my life.” he almost sobs. “Tae, I’m so happy.”
Taehyung smiles, leaning in for another kiss. “Did you see—” a kiss. “—your dad crying as we left
the church?”
“He was crying almost as much as you.” they both laugh, leaning onto each other.
“I can’t wait to watch him during his speech.”
“You two have to stop this fight that you have going on, it’s been two years.” Taehyung says with a
final laugh but Jungkook just tsks, sharing his head.
“There’s no stopping it.” he pulls the other down by the back of his neck into another kiss. “So, are
we about to have a quickie or? The place is almost thirty minutes away, we have more than enough
time.”
“What—”
“We just got married.”
“You’re crazy, it will ruin our suits!” Taehyung whisper yells just in case the driver can hear.
“Besides, there’s a man…! Right there.” he gestures.
“Yes, there is, so?” Jungkook raises an eyebrow. “It’s not like you’d mind if he heard, anyways.”
Taehyung hides his face against his neck with a low whine.
“It will ruin our suits.” Taehyung shakes his head.
“Hm… blowjobs?” he offers, tentatively. “You look really fucking good right now, that lip gloss is
doing something to me. And we just got married, you’re my husband, I’m your husband, we’re
married.” Jungkook’s smile is so big it has Taehyung’s heart exploding in his chest.
“Fine.” he relents. “If we get caught I’ll jump out the moving car.” Taehyung says as he starts
unbuckling Jungkook’s belt, the other’s eyes growing wider.
“I must confess I didn’t think you were going to say yes.” Jungkook smirks, head thrown back as he
lets Taehyung do his thing.
“You’re really damn sinful for wanting to do this, I can’t believe you.” Taehyung comments.
“I would’ve holy fucked you in the chur—”
“Shush, you have to go to heaven or I’ll end up alone there.” Taehyung places a finger over his
lips. “One spot on our suits and I’m killing you.”
“Just swallow it all, babe.” he smiles, cupping Taehyung’s cheek, only to get his band swatted
away. “This moment should be special, our first sexual act as a married couple, we should—”
“We should’ve at least waited until we got to the hotel, yes, that’s what we should’ve done.”
Taehyung shakes his head with a fake sigh. “No one can know about this, alright?” he says as he
reaches inside Jungkook’s underwear, the older man having to bite down his lip.
“Not one, promised.” Jungkook reassures with a smirk.
“Alright then, I’ll just— I’ll just do it.”
│►
Jungkook chuckles at the story one of Taehyung’s aunts tells them, back hugging his now husband,
each holding their untouched champagne glass, waiting for everyone to have theirs so that they can
move on to the toast. “...and your uncle was proper scared on the airplane, he kept asking it to be
put down.”
“Oh, poor thing.” Taehyung giggles. “Jungkook was just like that the first time we travelled last
year, almost broke my hand from how hard he was grabbing it.” he laughs further, back pressing
harder against Jungkook’s chest.
“In my defense, there was turbulence on the way back, I thought that was it for us.” they all laugh,
only coming to a stop when they hear someone hitting their glass cup with a spoon, Taehyung’s
father standing on a small stool.
Taehyung walks closer as all the guests do, Jungkook following with his arms still around his torso.
“So, I was begged to prepare a speech even though the groom didn’t even want me here.”
Jungkook props his chin on the other’s shoulder as Taehyung giggles. “It’s not like I’m here for the
groom either, I’m only here for my Taehyungie.”
They both laugh as quietly as possible at the confused stares between the guests, no one
understanding what’s going on.
“I could start listing all the immense reasons as to why the groom is questionable but he loves my
son so he gets a pass for that one.”
“I do love him.” Jungkook says, loud enough.
His father in law meets his eyes, smiling. “I know you do.” he nods. “Two years ago, my son called
us because he had gotten engaged and as any father would, I was really happy and proud, until his
so called fiancé decided to tell me I was not invited for the wedding due to being mean to him.
Which, as you can imagine, is so upsetting as I wanted the cake.”
“Your dad is really taking this seriously.” Jungkook wheezes by his ear.
“Everyone looks so confused, I can’t believe this.” Taehyung laughs too, both ignoring the looks
from the guests as they try to understand if Jungkook is taking it seriously or not.
“I’ve been putting up with him for two years only for the single goal of getting the cake, not
because he makes my son the happiest I’ve ever seen, not because he’s the most amazing son in
law one could ask for, not because he treats everyone in the family with the utmost respect, not
because he’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever gotten the pleasure to meet, none of that, just
because I wanted the cake.”
Taehyung’s fingers run over Jungkook’s forearm as it rests on his abdomen, chest feeling all types
of full at his father’s words. Jungkook deserves nothing but support and kind words.
“So with that being said, I want a toast, not to this amazingly beautiful wedding that is uniting two
people that love each other so much and deserve nothing but to be happy together, but for the cake
that we’re about to eat.” he raises his glass.
Everyone laughs, finally catching on the joke, cheering all around with those closest. Taehyung
drinks his champagne, taking Jungkook’s glass with a proud smile when his husband passes it to
him.
Jungkook looks for Jihoon in the crowd, glaring at him as he’s still holding his glass but his eyes
soften as he passes it to Nira, who drinks it in a second. Their eyes meet, Jihoon smiling at him,
action that Jungkook quickly mirrors.
“Baby?” Taehyung calls, getting his attention back. “Did you like the speech?” he asks between a
dying laughter and Jungkook finds himself chuckling again.
“Your dad’s honestly the fucking worst, I loved the speech.” Jungkook says as he kisses the side of
Taehyung’s neck. “After all the crying during the ceremony, I think it was the most fitting speech.”
“Oh, he’s coming.” Taehyung announces as the man walks towards them. “That was beautiful,
dad, really, brought tears to my eyes.” he jokes, stepping further back into Jungkook’s hold. “I’m
pretty sure at least ten people here think you were serious.”
“And I was.” he raises an eyebrow, eyes shifting to Jungkook, before he holds a hand out.
Jungkook breaks the hug to take the hand properly, being pulled into a tight hug with some pats to
his back. “Congrats, son. You take care of my kid, he’s in your hands now.”
“You know I always will.” Jungkook says in the same quiet tone before they pull back,
Taehyung’s dad clearing his throat to keep the tears away. Jungkook’s hand finds its place on his
husband’s waist then. “You’re now legally obligated to be nice to me.”
“You’re also obligated to be nice to me.”
Jungkook scoffs. “Ok, I literally allowed you to come in to get the cake, that’s nice enough.”
Taehyung laughs to himself. “Your wife bakes me cookies and this is the way you—”
“You want me to bake you cookies?” the man asks, still holding his glass.
“It wouldn’t be an underappreciated gesture.” Jungkook puckers his lips. “Especially if you
struggle to make them, that’d be even better.”
“Your husband’s very demanding, Taehyungie.”
“You two are impossible.”
│►
“I should’ve brought higher heels, I wasn’t anticipating dancing with anyone but my husband,
you’re too tall for me.” she comments, her feet on the tips of her toes as she places her arms around
Jungkook’s shoulders.
“I’d bend down further but as I’ve reached thirty, my back is starting to hate me a little.” the
woman laughs as they both sway to the slow song that he initiated with his husband, only to be
stolen by Taehyung’s mother to dance with her instead.
“Being thirty isn’t being old, you’re still young.” she says with a shake of the hand. “Also… I must
apologize for my husband’s speech, it was definitely really… something.”
“Oh, don’t worry one bit, it was so funny.” Jungkook laughs again, his hands placed on her back as
politely as possible. “It was different, I loved it.”
“You know, he really liked you, he worked so hard on that speech to make sure it was funny and
not offensive to you…” they both chuckle. “We love you, you’re like our own son too, you’re the
best person my son could’ve married and we’re so happy that you’re the one who he’s taking this
step with. Thank you for treating me so well.”
“You can’t imagine how grateful I am to be in this position.” Jungkook says with a dreamy sigh.
“He’s… my happiness, I’m not even kidding, so stop thanking me for anything, I’m… just loving
him the way he loves me.” he smiles.
She opens her mouth to speak but she’s interrupted by a hand stopping their dance. “Mom, I know
he’s amazing, but I’d like to enjoy the slow dance with my husband now.” Jungkook feels two
arms sneaking around his torso, Taehyung’s chin on his shoulder.
“Alright, that’s fair enough, I’ll go find your dad.” she bows to them and they bow back before she
walks away, Jungkook turning around to face the younger man, both of them smiling
automatically.
“Your mom’s so adorable.” Jungkook comments, his hands now on Taehyung’s lower back,
Taehyung’s arms going around his shoulders, fingers twirling his hair. “You totally got that from
her.”
“I’m glad you get along with her, if you two bickered the way you do with my dad, I’d go insane.”
Jungkook laughs, leaning in for a kiss, resting their foreheads together afterwards as they sway
with the slow music being played. “What if we left?” Taehyung whispers.
“Huh? You want to leave our wedding?” he chuckles.
“We’ve done the toast… and started the dance. Everyone here will eat and drink the whole day and
then go back to their hotels so let’s just… leave. The cab’s waiting for us whenever we want to go
to our honeymoon spot.” Taehyung offers, biting his bottom lip to suppress a smile. “Let’s leave.”
“You want us to ditch our own wedding.” Taehyung nods. “Alright, that’s the greatest idea you’ve
ever had, let’s go.” he pulls away to link their hands, Taehyung getting their phones from the table
before they rush through the gardens.
“How long do you think it will take them?” he asks. Jungkook hums in thought. “I’d say an hour.”
“Eunjae will probably call me in like… thirty minutes, you know she gets suspicious.” he puts his
arm around Taehyung’s shoulders, pulling him closer. “We’re fucking married.”
“Yep. We’re fucking married.” Taehyung repeats with a giggle as they reach the car, the driver
leaning against it as he looks down at his phone. “Hey, we’d like to go now, if that’s ok…” he asks
with a smile, surprised that he’s even there and not inside enjoying the food.
“Uh— You’re only supposed to go in four hours…?”
“We’re… running away. Kind of. Ditching it.” Jungkook explains, waving a hand.
“I’m not sure if I can do that…! This has never happened before, I got clear instructions to drive
you to your hotel once your party was over.” the driver puts his phone in his back pocket, eyeing
them suspiciously.
“Oh, c’mon, we’ll pay you double.” Taehyung puts his hands together. “We just want to get to the
hotel.”
“You better pay me double after making me listen to you two on the way here.” they both gape,
eyes growing bigger. “Yes, I could hear and I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep tonight.”
“You could’ve said something!” Jungkook scratches the back of his neck. “We promise we didn’t
make a mess or anything, your seats are perfectly clean.”
“They better be.” the drives just motions them to get inside. “And no, I couldn’t say anything, you
got married, I couldn’t ruin the mood.” Jungkook looks back at Taehyung once the driver is inside
the car.
“Did you hear that? We’re married.” he points out.
“Babe—”
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss
◄│ EXTRA: 2 │►
Chapter Notes
“Are you nervous?” Yunseok asks.
“A bit.” Jungkook agrees, his leg kicking in anxiously. “I’m next so yeah, I don’t like having the
attention on me…” he gives him a sheepish smile.
Jungkook gets up once he hears his name getting called, followed by people cheering, clapping as
they did to all the other students. He takes his diploma, shaking hands with everyone on the stage,
his professors congratulating him.
There’s a pat on his back as he walks towards the little podium, the microphone looking terrifying
in front of such crowd. “I was informed yesterday night that I had to make a speech and I could not
help but panic because when I start talking, I start rambling and I never shut up so I decided I’m
not going to make a motivational speech, I’m just going to thank those I want to thank and that’s
it.” Jungkook says, eyes on the podium, avoiding the crowd of students, guests, and professors.
Especially Taehyung. He knows if he meets his eyes he’s just going to start crying in front of
everyone.
“I want to thank all of the professors, obviously—” he gestures behind himself, offering them a
smile. “—and those I have befriended throughout classes. I want to thank my friends, who have
supported me through these honestly long four years.”
Jungkook clears his throat, chewing on the inside of his cheek. He can’t avoid it, he has to mention
the most important person, he has to give him a special thank you, but he must keep himself
together first.
So he inhales. “And I want to thank my— my husband.” he looks up, eyes scanning the crowd until
he finds his friends. They’re all smiling, Eunjae and Seokjin are recording him, which makes him
feel just a tad bit embarrassed. Taehyung looks proud. That hits him like a truck. He’s never seen
Taehyung that proud.
And it’s because of him. Taehyung’s proud of him.
He looks up. “My husband who made it possible for me to be here, to begin with, who supported
me through mental breakdowns over deadlines and essays and homework and all of that, who was
there every single day to tell me I’d make it… and I did.” he smiles, waving his diploma for a
second. “So yeah, that’s really all I wanted to say, to thank everyone who helped me through all of
this. I didn’t want to make this personal as I don’t know any of you and it’s honestly none of your
business.” he hears some chuckles and he smiles. “That’s it. Thank you.”
The cheers return as he steps down, the students he knows sending him a wink and he just bows to
them, walking past his seat and jogging towards his friends.
“You’re supposed to sit down—” Yoongi tries.
“Fuck that, he’s graduated, let’s leave.” Nira encourages and Jungkook just reaches for Taehyung’s
hand, pulling him up, all of them sharing a knowing look before trailing after them. They
completely ignore the looks they receive for abandoning the ceremony.
Some students wanting to do just the exact same.
Taehyung is circling his arms around Jungkook’s shoulders as soon as they get to the outside,
hugging him so tight Jungkook feels the air leaving his lungs all at once, but he hugs back with the
same force, arms around Taehyung’s waist, lifting him up.
The blonde giggles as he’s spinned around for a few seconds. “You’ve graduated.” Taehyung
whispers but it ends as a shriek, hands cupping Jungkook’s cheeks.
“I may not be such a failure anymore, baby.” Jungkook says with a blinding smile.
“You never were.” they hear the same comments and bothered sounds they’ve heard for years now
as they kiss, Jungkook spinning him around once again before they pull away. Well, partially,
Jungkook keeps one arm around the other’s waist as he turns to their friends.
“Congratulations, Kooks, this has been the best day since I met you, I feel so proud of you.”
Seokjin parts away from his date to walk towards him and so Jungkook meets him halfway so that
they can share a hug. There’s another pair of arms soon enough, Yoongi joining in. “You did it,
Kooks.”
“This feels so unreal.” he says as they break the hug. “I can’t fucking believe I have a damn
diploma.”
“Listen.” he turns as another voice sounds right behind him. “I didn’t think we’d actually stay
friends given where we met and all but uh… I’m happy we did, you know. You honestly kind of
made it possible for me to be ok in life as you gave me a job and— and that’s the reason I didn’t go
back there so I’m really happy for you. I’ve heard you bitch so much over assignments for the past
two years, I can’t believe it’s over now.” Jihoon ends with a little laugh, relying on the fact that
everyone is talking between themselves in order not to feel as awkward. That never really changed.
“Thank you, dude, that means a lot coming from you.” Jungkook chuckles when he’s offered a
hand to shake and he rolls his eyes, accepting it.
Nira and Eunjae are equally as loud when hugging him, both killing a little of his hearing on each
of his ears as they come at the same time.
“You know who’s paying for lunch.” Jihoon teases.
“Aw, you’re paying for our lunch?” Jungkook forces a coo, a hand over his heart. “That’s so nice
of you.”
“No, you are.” Jihoon throws back.
“You know what, I’ll pay for lunch.” Eunjae informs. “Do you think they’d accept me to parcel it
in twelve months?” she asks, all of them laughing. “I’m joking, but I’ll still pay for it, this old man
deserves it.”
“Who the fuck are you calling old—”
“Honey, you’re almost thirty three.” Taehyung places a hand on his shoulder, taking Eunjae’s side
as per usual. “We must agree that you’re not getting younger.”
“Hey, c’mon, thirty isn’t old.” Seokjin defends. “We’re all at a blooming age, being thirty is great,
it’s a very mature age, I reckon everyone here would agree.”
“No, thanks.” Eunjae shakes her head.
“I’m good too.” Nira nods, holding hands with Jihoon, who pulls her closer.
“While you guys fight, I’ll just get the camera that I left in my car, we must take pictures of this
day.” Jimin informs, hugging Jungkook quickly before jogging away from them. Taehyung leans
towards his husband.
“I need to talk to you.” he whispers by his ear.
Jungkook gasps. “You’re pregnant.”
“I literally hate you, just come here for a second.”
Taehyung sits down on a bench close to them but distant enough for their conversation to stay
private and he pats it for Jungkook to sit down as well.
“So…” he starts with a smile. “I’m going to give you something now, alright?” Jungkook furrows
his eyebrows but nods, watching as Taehyung pulls a folded paper from his pocket and hands it
over.
He takes it with curious eyes, unfolding it. It’s a travel guide and it takes him a second to read over
the words that let it clear that it’s from Holland, most specifically, Amsterdam. “Do you want to go
to The Netherlands?”
“Hm, almost.”
“Babe, I know you have money but my bank account hasn’t fully recovered from our wedding even
if it was two years ago, you know I've been working less hours because of my classes and I can’t
just pay for holidays right now.” he frowns. “If you wait a bit now I can go back to working more
and also look for a job and—”
“No, no.” Taehyung scoots closer. “What if we packed.” Jungkook blinks. “Like, everything.”
“Everything?” Jungkook tilts his head, confused.
“Holland doesn’t consider Korean criminal records…” he whispers, a little hesitant. He knows it’s
a big deal. He can see it takes the other a long second to process it before his eyes go wide.
“What— What do you mean? What are you implying?”
“Well… you could get a job easily, as you wouldn’t have that in your curriculum, we get to learn a
new language, we get to see what’s like living in Europe and we can try to adopt a child.”
Jungkook’s breath gets caught up at the last one. “That is, if you want.”
“Ok, holy fuck, holy f— what about your career? A-And your friends and my friends and your
family? Tae, your family.” Jungkook tries to point out, mind all over the place. “It’s your family, I
know how close you are to them, babe. Your mom. And your job.”
“I’ve talked to my boss to see what countries he has clinics in and he does have one in Amsterdam,
that’s what made me pick it from the options I had on the table.” Taehyung smiles. “I’d get a
higher pay there, to begin with, so don’t worry about my job. Friends and family… we can call, we
can visit and they can visit, it’s not like this will make us unreachable…” he grabs onto Jungkook’s
hands. “Besides, we can always return if we feel like it.”
Jungkook takes a moment, staring back at Taehyung but the latter can see he’s everything but
there. Until he speaks, “So we— Uh, we can get a kid?” his voice breaks at the end, coming off a
mere whisper. “A kid?”
“Probably won’t be oh so easy, we’ll still be two men in a foreign country but yeah, we could have
a kid.” Jungkook breathes in. “And with your degree now, you can get a great job… and if we ever
feel like returning, you’ll have the experience in your resume and it may make things easier once
we’re back here. Or we can stay there, or move somewhere else, we can do whatever we want,
hyung. We can definitely try to get a kid… our own kid.” Taehyung tries to explain it slowly,
knowing it’s too much, a little overwhelming, especially for his husband who had already accepted
defeat when it comes to not being able to have kids.
“You know this means you’ll be leaving everything behind for me… right?” Jungkook whispers.
Taehyung nods, certain, smiling. “Tae, are you sure?”
“As long as you’re with me, I don’t really care where we are, and this is our shot at starting a
family.” Jungkook runs a shaky hand through his hair.
“This is a really big deal, babe.” he says. “If you end up regretting it, you’ll hate me and— This
means you’ll be leaving everyone behind, everything you know, your family and— and— it’s a big
deal.”
“I know.” Taehyung shrugs. “And I’m still sure of it.”
“Oh fuck, okay.” he nods frantically. “So we’re moving to Amsterdam— Tae, this is crazy. This is
really fucking crazy, you’re crazy.” Taehyung giggles. “How are you so calm?” Jungkook asks.
“Because I’ve been thinking about this for a month or longer.” he shrugs. “I’ve freaked out already,
now I’m just… content with the idea, so if you want to do it, then it’s happening.” Taehyung says
as he takes his hand to Jungkook’s hair, combing it back.
“How do we even— How do we do it? How do we take our stuff and the dogs? Simba? Can they
go? We can’t go without them. What about the language? What do they even speak?!” Jungkook
stresses. “We—”
“Come here for pictures!” they hear Jimin yell after them, gesturing for them to approach.
Taehyung gives him a reassuring smile. “We’ll talk about this later, baby, for now, let’s just
celebrate.” he leans closer to press a kiss to his lips, followed by his cheek and his forehead. “And
have lunch before Jae changes her mind.” he giggles.
Jungkook has a little frown, that to everyone would look like he’s upset, but he’s just so
overwhelmed, so happy, that he doesn’t even know how to process it. Hand holding Taehyung’s as
he’s lead back to the group, tears threatening to form.
His husband fixes his graduation cap before posing by his side, smiling to the picture, but
Jungkook can only stare at him, eyes fixated on Taehyung’s smile, at how happy he looks, at how
happy he makes him. It’s too much. He never thought he’d be able to feel like that about someone.
“Tae, tell your husband to smile at the picture and not at you.” Taehyung turns to him, a little
confused, only to giggle at Jungkook’s love sick eyes.
He leans closer, rubbing their noses together. “Smile at the pictures, honey.” he says with a giggle.
“You know we’re crazy if we actually do this, right?” he whispers, pulling Taehyung closer by the
hand on his waist and he’s well aware that all of their friends are watching, waiting to join the
pictures.
“Probably, but it’s it works, it will be worth it.” Taehyung gives him a little shrug. “At least I
believe so.”
Jungkook smiles. “Everything with you is wort—”
Jimin rolls his eyes dramatically. “The picture!”
│►
Taehyung eyes his husband as he walks ahead, both already through the gate to the community
where their apartment is, and he smiles to himself. “Hey babe.” he calls, Jungkook turning back.
“Catch.”
Jungkook puts his phone in his pocket just in time to catch whatever object it is that Taehyung just
threw him and he’s confused to see a set of keys. “Who the fuck got a Mercedes? Did you get a
new car?”
“Not really.” Taehyung giggles, catching up to him to twist him around. There’s a few cars parked
so Jungkook isn’t sure what he's looking at. “Press the keys, will you?” and so he does, one of the
cars unlocking. It’s a black car, looking way too expensive.
Taehyung sneaks his arms around his torso as he tries to understand what’s going on.
“Congratulations on your certificate, baby, I’m so proud of you.” he speaks by his ear, resting his
chin on Jungkook’s shoulder.
“This is a car.” Jungkook says. Taehyung hums. “A moving vehicle.” he points out. “A moving
car.”
“We can only hope it moves—”
“Tae, I love you and your big fucking heart but no.” he turns around to face him. “No, it’s not
happening, I’m not accepting a car, just give it back, I’d rather walk for the rest of my life than
accept this from you after all you’ve already spent on me. No. I can’t take it. No.”
“My parents would be really upset if they heard that.” Taehyung sing songs, bopping Jungkook’s
nose with his own, smile huge.
“I’m sorry, what the fuck is happening today— What do you mean your parents?” he stresses.
“They got me a car?!” Jungkook’s voice goes an octave higher.
“They left a note…!” Taehyung smiles even more, grabbing his hand to lead him to the car. “Go,
go, it’s yours, honey.” he gestures, opening the door to get to the passenger seat. Jungkook runs a
hand through his hair before going around the car to get to his side.
He sits down. “The smell of a new car— oh my God. Tae, what the fuck.” he looks around, all the
buttons, the steering wheel, everything. “Baby, this is crazy.”
“Here.” Taehyung hands him the small letter, waiting for him to open. “Read it, I want to know
what they said.”
“A fucking car…” he mumbles to himself in disbelief as he opens the note. “Hi sweetheart, I’m so
sorry that we couldn’t be there for your graduation but we’re so proud of you and of your
accomplishments. As we couldn’t be there to hand the keys ourselves, we have sent them through
our Taehyungie. We hope you like it, it’s insured already. Hope you have a great day.” he reads.
“Your mom’s so nice, I can’t believe this.”
“There something on the back.” Jungkook turns it over, smaller letters paired with a poorly drawn
heart.
“I hope the AC doesn’t work.” he blinks. “Your dad seriously had no idea what he was doing when
he started this with me, he—” Taehyung laughs.
“Stop it!” he slaps his thigh, keeping his hand there. “Did you like it? They weren’t sure of what to
get you, they even asked me for opinions.” Taehyung asks, his soft voice filling up the car.
Jungkook looks around. “I love it, this is unreal, but fuck, Tae… do you have any idea of how
expensive this is? They’re crazy. This is not ok, this— It’s a car.”
Taehyung cups his cheek. “They really wanted to get you a car for the longest time and I told them
you’d be mad for the money wasted but they insisted to do it now given you got your diploma…”
he explains. “Please take it, they were so excited about it.”
“But… it’s a car.” he frowns. “This is too much…” Jungkook places his hand over Taehyung’s, his
pout way too adorable. “I feel like crying, why is everyone being so fucking nice today?”
“Because today is a really important day and we’re all proud of you.” Taehyung smiles. “I’m going
to call them, alright?” Jungkook nods, watching as Taehyung calls his mother, her face soon
enough on the screen. “Hey, mom.” he greets with a wave.
“Hey, Taehyungie!” she waves back. “Where’s your man? Has he seen it yet?” she whispers,
making him giggle and put the phone in an angle where the older man can appear as well. “Hello!”
“You’re insane.” Jungkook lets out. “Thank you so, so much but I’m going to ship this car back, I
don’t know how you can think this is just a casual graduation gift, I’d be happy with a coupon for a
McDonald’s ice cream.” Taehyung smiles, simply recording the other. Jungkook’s heart is so pure.
“Oh no! You can’t ship it back.” he hears a stronger voice, his father in law appearing soon
enough. “You’re our son, our son in law, you’re making our Taehyungie happy and have been
doing nothing but that for over the past four years, so we wanted to give you a big gift for your
graduation because you deserve it. We’re very proud that you were able to go through and finish
such major, it’s a big accomplishment.”
Jungkook crying is an expected reaction and they all coo when he has to look away. Taehyung
places a reassuring hand on his thigh.
“Jungkookie?” his mom calls with a giggle. He lays his head on his arms, prompted on the steering
wheel, shoulders shaking slightly. “Oh no! No tears!”
“They’re happy tears, mom, don’t worry.” Taehyung guarantees, squeezing his thigh. “Today has
been a very emotional day.”
“We can imagine, w—” he stops when Jungkook lets out a small cry and Taehyung quickly engulfs
him in a hug, the phone carelessly still in his hand, now recording the door.
“Don’t cry, hyung.” Taehyung whispers by his ear.
“I’m just happy, today was a good day.” he sniffs, hugging Taehyung closer. “I’m really happy.”
“I know.” he kisses the side of his neck. “Makes me happy to see you like this, you know.” he pulls
back just enough to rest their foreheads together, joining their lips soon after. And again. And
again.
“Are we interrupting something?”
“Oh.” they pull back, facing the phone. Jungkook sniffs. “I forgot you were there, I’m sorry.” he
chuckles. “Hold on a second.” he presses the button to mute the call, pulling the other by the back
of his head into another kiss, longer this time. “This is crazy. I’ve said this almost thirty times just
today.”
Taehyung wipes his tears away, kissing Jungkook’s cheek. “As long as you’re happy, that's all that
matters.” he smiles.
“I really am. It’s almost hard to believe I’m this happy.”
│►
“This is insane.” Jungkook says after the call is ended. “This is so fucking insane, Tae, I— What
the hell.” he looks back at his husband who simply offers him a smile. “Let me turn this on for a
second…”
Taehyung watches as he turns the car on, pressing on the pedal purely to hear the sound of the
engine and they both go wide eyed. “Holy shit.”
“You cursed so you know it’s something big.” Jungkook comments. “Do you happen to realize
how expensive this car is? And your parents just gave it to me like that, are they insane?”
“I confess I didn’t know they’d get… this.” Taehyung comments. “Let's go for a ride, shall we? I’ll
be a great husband and I’ll get you that McDonald’s ice cream.”
“Oh, babe, you’ll get me an ice cream?” he puts a hand over his chest. “But yeah, let’s go for a
ride. Buckle up, you know I have a heavy foot.” Jungkook instructs as they put their seatbelts on.
“Please don’t crash the car on the first try.”
“I’d probably drive down a cliff if I did that.” Taehyung laughs. “You know we have a lot to talk
about, right, I've been overthinking for the past hours and we need to talk about Amsterdam before
I go crazy.” he says as he gets the car out of the spot it’s parked in.
“Shall we get ice cream and just drive somewhere? And sit down to talk? How does that sound?”
Jungkook offers him a smile. “Is that a yes?”
“Yes it is.” he nods.
“So, where should we go? After McDonald’s” Taehyung asks as Jungkook places a hand on his
thigh, driving off. The hand is always there, he doesn’t think he’s ever sat beside Jungkook in a car
and didn’t have his hand on his thigh like that.
“Hm… where do you feel like going, love?” Jungkook turns the question around. “Should we just
see where the car takes us?”
“Oh, that'd be great.” Taehyung nods. “Let’s grab some drinks or ice cream and just see where we
stop.” he leans towards the radio to turn it on, trying to figure out how it works as Jungkook
observes both him and the road. “The sound system is great.” he comments.
“It really is.” Jungkook says, still in awe. “I can’t believe this is… technically mine.”
“Not technically, it’s yours.” Taehyung corrects. “I mean, if you want to get technical then it’s
technically ours as we’re married.” he points. “So if we ever get a divorce, we’ll have to cut the car
in half.”
“No.”
“It’s the law, hyungie.”
“No.” he shakes his head. “I refuse to sign divorce papers, you’re never getting rid of me.”
Taehyung laughs, Jungkook frowning even further. “Besides, it would be no use to cut the car in
half, what would you do with it like that?”
“Glue to the other half of my own car.” Jungkook looks at him for two long seconds before he
looks back at the road, tilting his head. A habit Taehyung has long noticed he has.
“You’re really smart, Tae.” he says, voice dripping with sarcasm. “I don’t know how I got myself
someone with such brain, you’re really remarkable.”
“I know, thank you.” Jungkook just smiles, squeezing Taehyung’s thigh. “How do you feel?”
Taehyung asks after a while. “You're out of college.”
“I feel weird, actually. No more assignments, no more stressing over homework, no more exams…
it’s crazy. I like studying and now I won’t have to anymore.”
“You’re so irritating. Usually people are happy that they don’t have to study anymore.” Taehyung
tuts.
“I’m not irritating!” Jungkook defends. “You’re always studying in a way, you’re always reading
about new techniques and shit like that. You’re lucky.”
“I told you, you should’ve been a therapist yourself.” he jokes. He knows way too well Jungkook
would never settle for that. He loves his major way too much.
“You think I’d willingly listen to everyone’s shit?”
“You’re the best at giving advice, though.” Jungkook hums in agreement. “You just missed the
exit to McDonald’s.”
“Oh shit—” he stops abruptly, Taehyung yelping. “Let me just…” Jungkook mumbles as he turns
the car around, Taehyung’s wide eyes watching if there’s any other car approaching as that’s a
maneuver that is very much illegal on that spot. “What’s the best gift from having a new car if not
a ticket?”
“I won’t be surprised if we have one in the mail in a few days.” Jungkook laughs, already on the
right road. “At least it’s in your name, I’m sick and tired of getting tickets because you speed too
much.”
“It’s not my fault!”
“Who’s driving?” Taehyung raises an eyebrow.
“Shush.”
│►
“Thank you…” Taehyung whispers as Jungkook picks him up, sitting him on the hood of the car.
He’s holding both of their ice creams and Jungkook is quick to take the spot right to his side.
“The sea looks great.” he comments, stuffing his mouth with ice cream. “Too bad you don’t want
to jump in.”
“It’s cold…!” Taehyung pouts. Jungkook leans in to kiss him, unable to resist his pout. Ever. “So,
how do you feel? About Amsterdam?” he asks, resting his leg over Jungkook’s. “I also want to
say, you don’t have to say yes. If you don’t want to go, if you don’t want to leave, you don’t have
to agree. It was an offer that I saw really good for us, but you don’t have to say yes. I know it’s a
scary thought, we don’t even speak the language, so you don’t have to agree.”
“If we move, I’m not going to be seen as a criminal by those who I send my resume to. It’s going to
be like that didn’t happen. I’ve never gone to prison. I’m… just me. Jungkook, with a college
degree.” he starts. “I could get a proper job, right? That’s what it means.”
“Yeah.” Taehyung nods. “That’s what it means.”
“And… And it also means we can get a kid.” Jungkook looks at him with shiny eyes. “We— We’d
be parents, having a little kid calling us dad. I had already accepted that it would never happen, I
didn’t think you’d actually want to move somewhere. You know it’s like… one of my biggest
dreams, to have a kid, so the fact that we have that possibility— I can’t say no.”
“So… is it a yes? To Amsterdam.”
“Only if you’re absolutely certain of it.” Jungkook frowns. “I don’t want you to feel like you have
to do this, you know?” he sighs. “But if you're sure about this then definitely, I’ll definitely say yes
to Amsterdam.”
“I’m certain of it. I really want a kid too and… I want it with you. So it’s a yes from me too.”
Jungkook takes a second in silence before he looks back at his husband. “We’ll have a kid
sometime in the future.” Taehyung whispers. “We’ll be parents, have our own family.”
“Can— Can it be a girl? Can we try to adopt a girl?”
“Oh? I thought you’d be the one to want a little boy.” Taehyung tilts his head. “I’m surprised. I’d
love to have a little girl too so of course we can.”
“No, boys are terrible. I’d rather deal with periods than dealing with a boy.” Taehyung giggles.
“I’m serious.”
“I know, I can tell.” he nods. “I have a good name suggestion that I know you’ll like. If she doesn’t
have a name already, of course. We don’t know how old she will be or anything but… imagining
we get to pick, I have a suggestion.” Taehyung informs, his fingers threading through Jungkook’s
hair.
“And what is it?”
“Mya.” Jungkook blinks. “If you’re comfortable with that, of course.” Taehyung chews on the
inside of his cheek. “As you can see, I’ve been really thinking about this.”
“Mya?” he whispers. “You want to name her after my sister?” Taehyung nods. “That’d be
beautiful, Tae. Seriously. I’d love that. Thank you for even remembering that. It’s… it means a lot
to me.”
“Don’t cry, please.” Taehyung pouts as he can see tears start to well up in his eyes. “I knew you’d
like the idea… I also thought about naming it after your mom but I think you’d like it better if it
were Mya, no?”
“Yeah. Definitely.” Jungkook nods. “So like… How are we doing this? Do we just… Pack
everything? How does this work? I honestly don’t know, I’ve never moved. Technically. When I
got my apartment I went from the street so the only thing I moved was my blanket and my dog…
And you took care of the other moving so I don’t know how this shit works.”
“We see what we want to keep from the apartment and we have a moving company taking care of
the shipping. We have to find a place first, though… and apply for citizenship. It’s a whole
process.” Jungkook stuffs his mouth with ice cream, thinking it through. “Are we getting another
apartment?”
“Should we change to a house? Like in the movies, with stares and shit, a backyard for Moon and
Yeontan to run… Though she doesn’t even run anymore. Can we try to get one of those?”
Taehyung smiles.
“That’d be a great place to start a family.” Jungkook looks down, playing with his ice cream. “I’m
so happy you said yes, I’m honestly so excited for this change.”
“I’m a bit scared.” Jungkook admits. “We don’t know the language and… I don’t know, it’s a big
thing. But I’m also excited and ready but still scared.”
“I understand… I feel the same way. It’s scary but it’s so exciting…! We'll live in Europe,
hyungie.”
“Oui.” Jungkook offers, making the other laugh.
“I don’t think they speak French there.” Taehyung steals from Jungkook’s ice cream. “But I’m
glad that if we were to go to France or something, you’d be so well prepared for it.”
“I actually know a lot of French.” he informs. “But now I shall not share any with you as you have
downplayed my knowledge.” Taehyung tries to take him seriously. “Baguette.” he snorts.
“Such a beautiful word.” he agreed. “I’m pretty sure they speak Dutch, I read something about it.”
“Oh.” Jungkook frowns. “We’re fucked.”
“I reckon we’ll do fine.” Taehyung smiles. “Don’t worry too much, we’ll be fine. English will save
us in the beginning, then we’ll figure it out. How hard can it be to learn a language when you’re
living in the country?”
“You’re right. I think it’s an amazing idea, I’m really excited. We’re going to be parents.” he pouts.
“Some time in the future we’ll have a little girl running after us while calling us dad.”
“Stop, hyung, I’ll cry.”
“That’s my job.” Jungkook leans in to rub their noses together. “I’ll be the cool dad, I hope we’re
both aware of that. It’s a fact. I’m the cool dad.”
“I beg your pardon—” Taehyung tries, only to be interrupted by a kiss. “I think I can live with
being the smart, chill parent.” Jungkook gapes.
“Who said I’m not the smart one?!” but he gets a finger pressed to his lips, effectively shutting him
up. “I can’t wait to get this done, this is going to be a new chapter, no, it’s a whole new damn
book.” Jungkook chews on the inside of his cheek. “I can’t wait to be a dad.”
“You’re going to be the most amazing father.” Taehyung whispers. “You’re going to be brilliant.”
“So will you, babe.” he whispers back. “I love you.”
Taehyung smiles. “I love you too, dadd— no, wait—”
“Oh my God—”
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss
◄│ EXTRA: 3 │►
Chapter Notes
Taehyung dries off his hands on the towel, placing it down the counter, the dishwasher already on.
He turns the lights off, leaving the kitchen to go check on the living room, see if Jungkook is up to
go to bed already or if he’s still busy.
His feet stop in their tracks once he sees his husband fast asleep on the couch, one arm thrown over
his eyes. But that’s not what gets his attention but the little kid sitting comfortably on his stomach,
the children hair ties holding Jungkook’s hair in multiple little ponytails.
The white button up shirt he wore for his meeting ruined by the open sharpies resting on his chest.
The visible tattoos from where his shirt is rolled up are colored in and Taehyung can’t help but to
let out a low giggle, walking closer.
“Now, what are you doing to him?” he asks, watching as she secures a new hair tie on his head.
“Daddy fell asleep instead of watching Dora with me like he said he would.” she explains,
observing her art. “You always say we shouldn’t lie or we get in trouble…”
“He didn’t lie, baby, he’s just tir— What are you doing?” Taehyung tries not to laugh as he makes
a move to grab her little hand when she tries to take a black sharpie to Jungkook’s face.
Mya looks up with the best puppy eyes she can make, pouting. “I just want to finish my goal…!”
she whines, gesturing towards her sleeping father. “Oh please, daddy, let me finish.” and who is
Taehyung to resist those eyes? It’s impossible.
“What were you going to draw?” he settles for asking.
“A mustache!” she perks up.
Taehyung looks between the both of them before sighing. “He has work in the morning, what if it
doesn’t come off?” Mya seems to give it a thought before shrugging. “Are those waterproof?”
She takes the sharpie closer to her eyes to be able to see the small letters. “W… Wat… Water…”
she reads slowly. “You read it.” Taehyung takes it from her, reading enough to know it comes off
with water.
At least that means the shirt isn’t actually ruined.
“Alright.” he hands the sharpie back.
“Can I?” Mya asks, a radiant smile on her lips.
“You know your dad will end up divorcing me for the amount of stuff you pull on him while I
watch.” he jokes, hands on his hips, eyes trailing back to his sleeping husband. Jungkook’s lips
pulled into a pout as always when he sleeps and Taehyung can’t help but to coo.
Even if he’s seen that for years already.
“He won’t.” Mya shrugs, leaning closer to carefully start drawing the mustache on the other’s face.
“And how are you so certain?” he raises an eyebrow.
“Because daddy does worse to you while you sleep.” Taehyung’s mouth falls in surprise. “He
always makes fun of you when you fall asleep on the couch.” she giggles. “He made you pick your
nose once.”
“You know what, screw the mustache, draw a full beard.” he instructs, feeling all kinds of betrayal.
He can’t believe Jungkook does the exact same thing Taehyung does when he sleeps.
Only to keep Mya entertained, of course.
“Oh, can I?” Taehyung nods. “Thank you, daddy.”
│►
Mya giggles as she makes yet another line with the marker, already over halfway done with her
creation, when Jungkook props his eyes open, staring back at her once she stops, still holding the
marker in her hand, smile no longer there.
Jungkook blinks.
His shirt is ruined from the colored sharpies but it doesn’t look like nothing a good scrub before
putting it in the washing machine can’t fix.
Then he looks over at his husband who’s standing close by, his arms crossed and an amused
expression on his face. Jungkook frowns. “So you didn’t think about telling her to stop and not
disturb my beauty sleep?” he asks, voice groggy.
“You know, I did think about it… and I did tell her to let you sleep but after I’ve learned that
you’ve shoved my finger up my nose once, I decided a mustache would suit you just perfectly,
honey.” he says with a smile.
“You can only wish I had a stubble when we kiss.”
“If you grew a mustache I can assure you we wouldn’t kiss at all.” Taehyung lifts an accusing
finger, sitting down on the couch, placing Jungkook’s legs over his own lap. Mya still sitting on
Jungkook’s stomach, unsure if she’s in trouble or not yet.
“Mya, should daddy grow his mustache?” Jungkook asks, taking the sharpie from her hand, putting
the cap on it to make sure she doesn’t go on.
“Don’t bring her into this.” Taehyung says, trying to suppress a laugh. “It’s an important matter.”
“So you’ll support me through mental breakdowns, through alcoholism, claim you’ll love me
when I’m old and wrinkly, but stubble is where you draw the line?” he raises an eyebrow. “How is
that—”
“It’s a pretty rational thing, actually.”
“How is it rational?” he frowns.
“Love is about being honest so I’m being honest.” Taehyung explains, tapping Jungkook’s leg.
The latter tuts, putting Mya’s hair behind her ear.
“Baby, go get ready for bed, alright? Brush your teeth like we taught you.” Jungkook instructs.
“Remember the song, okay?”
“Brush my teeth up and down, brush my teeth around and around.” she sings, half jumping on top
of him.
“Exactly.” Taehyung watches as he picks her up and puts her on the floor. Her lips tug down,
stomping her foot with the closed sharpie in hand.
“But I’m not finished…!” she whines.
“I’ll let you have ice cream with your pancakes tomorrow for breakfast.” Mya’s eyes light up with
a smile. “Chocolate if you’re already in bed when we go check on you.”
They both laugh as she runs towards the stairs, carefully climbing them. “You really just buy her
like that, huh?” Taehyung asks as he looks back at him.
“One does what one has to do, babe.” Jungkook looks way too smug for his liking so the pillow to
his face is almost immediate. “Meanie.” he complains as he sits up, his ponytails bouncing.
Taehyung snorts. “Your hair looks… perfect.” he jokes.
“Sleep with one eye open tonight.” Jungkook threatens nonchalantly, looking down at himself to
see how bad the damage is. “My shirt is really just— Sleep with both of them open, it’s better if
you do.”
“Don’t make me stay up all night, I have work…!” Taehyung whines, shaking Jungkook’s leg. “I
have work in the morning, be considerate.”
“You should’ve thought about that before.” he offers a smile as he gets up and Taehyung scoffs,
trailing after him to the nearest bathroom. “She even colored my tattoos— that’s it, you’re both
grounded. Two weeks.”
Taehyung giggles, grabbing his arm to check. “At least she left your sister’s tattoo intact.” he points
out, tracing it with his fingers.
“She’s a behaved girl… now help.” Taehyung barely has time to catch the pack of wet wipes
thrown at him. Jungkook takes one out, starting to rub his cheek to get the sharpie off. The younger
follows, using the wet wipe to start rubbing the colors out of Jungkook’s arm.
“I can’t believe you really just shove my fingers up my nose while I sleep… I thought I could trust
you.” Taehyung says, their eyes meeting through the mirror.
“I did tell you I’d be the fun parent.” Jungkook points out. “It’s not like you don’t let her play shit
on me while I try to peacefully rest on the couch.”
“In my defense, the deed was already done when I got to the living room, you just didn’t have a
beard. I tried stopping her but then she told me how much of a traitor you are so I just let her do it.
I’m partially innocent.” he giggles. “The hair does just give you the perfect look, you should keep
it for work tomorrow.”
“I may ask her to do it again tomorrow.” Jungkook plays along.
“Please do.”
│►
“You know… it’s your turn to tell her a bedtime story.” Jungkook informs, bent over as Taehyung
struggles to take the last hair tie from his head.
“I’ve run out of stories, you go.” Taehyung tries.
“You two bullied me tonight, I deserve rest after this treatment, you go tell her a story.” he quickly
turns it around, sighing in relief as he realizes his hair is free from the massacre it was put through.
“You slept for hours—”
“I slept for twenty minutes!” Jungkook frowns.
“That’s what you get for having a kid, start thinking of a story to tell.” Taehyung sing songs,
opening Jungkook’s shirt carefully, eyes trying to get an idea of how bad the sharpie marks are on
the white fabric. It’s quite of an expensive shirt, it would be a shame if it were actually ruined.
He bops Jungkook’s nose once he puts a tee shirt on.
“Do I look handsome again?” he asks with a smug smile but Taehyung simply turns around to store
the wet wipes back in the cabinets. “Why are you not saying yes?”
“I have nothing to say.” Jungkook gapes.
“Are you insinuating I’m ugly?”
“Your ears aren't doing okay, honey, we should get them checked… your old age is starting to
show its impact.” Taehyung says as seriously as he can and Jungkook gasps. Loud, a little
exaggerated. “We have to face it, Koo, you’re a week away from fort—”
“Shush!” Jungkook stops him in time. “I get a new sudden back pain every time you remind me
I’m almost forty.” he says with a frown that luckily doesn’t budge as Taehyung giggles.
“My grandpa.”
“I—” he takes a hand to his chest. “I’m going to put Mya to bed, I’ll tell her the story of how I’ve
started to hate my husband.” he can hear Taehyung cackling in the bathroom as he leaves, a smile
on his face.
And Taehyung knows he’s joking, so he doesn’t waste any second longer thinking about it, putting
the pack of wet wipes back in its place, throwing the used ones to the trash.
Jungkook did say he would scrub the shirt the next day but Taehyung just gets it himself, adding
some soap onto the spots with marks from the sharpies, rubbing the fabric between both of his
hands. They do come off easily, no apparent stain staying behind.
He decides it’s best to let it soak in water, so he fills up the sink with soap and fabric softener
before he leaves, heading towards the same place his husband did just some minutes prior.
Listening to Jungkook’s bedtime stories can be fun, his imagination is a little wild, just perfect for
Mya’s entertainment.
And Taehyung’s.
│►
“If I go in and you’re not in your pajamas, you’ll be in trouble.” Jungkook warns as he approaches
the room, smiling once he sees the little girl already sitting under her covers. “Where did you put
your clothes?”
“The basket.” she gestures to the bathroom.
“Good, that’s good.” he sits down on the foot of the bed, helping Yeontan to join her, knowing the
poor dog is way too old to even attempt climbing on his own. Jungkook tucks her in, making sure
her pillow is as fluffy as possible. “Now, don’t you think you’re getting a little too grown for
bedtime stories? Can’t I just give you a kiss and a goodnight and go?”
“No.”
“Okay, then help your dad out, what story do you want this time? What are we feeling like
tonight?” he changes to sit beside her but over the covers, his back against the headboard.
“Princesses? You know I can only come up with so much.” he jokes, fingers threading through her
black hair.
“Can you tell me the story of how you and daddy got married…?” she asks, looking up at him with
shiny eyes. She knows they can't resist.
“Oh what— You’ve heard that story a hundred times now.” he points out.
“So…?!” Mya drags. “I want that one. Again. Pretty please…!” a pout.
“Alright, little one.” Jungkook nods to himself, thinking about it once again. Everything feels like a
blur, it always has. He was barely even able to remember it on the first few days after the wedding,
too overwhelmed by it. “Your dad and I weren’t able to see each other for a long time—”
“Wasn’t it one day?”
“Do not interrupt me, miss.” Mya giggles, laying back down. “As I was saying, we weren’t able to
see each other for a long time before the wedding and I was very nervous. Shaky hands and all of
that sh— stuff, you know?” she nods, attentive. “Your uncle Yoongi was the one helping me get
ready and then off we went to the altar to wait for your dad.”
“Why were you the one waiting?” she asks, curious, and Jungkook just blinks. Good question. He’s
not very sure himself, it was just a silent agreement, they didn't even discuss that topic.
“Because they said the prettier one was the one to walk down the aisle.” he explains. “And then
your dad appeared, I saw him standing there and oh boy.” Jungkook’s lips stretch into a smile. He
still feels the same way he did then when he stops to think about it.
“Did you— Did you feel butterflies? In your tummy?” Mya asks as she taps her own stomach, eyes
big even if it’s the umpteenth time she’s hearing that story. She always finds something new to ask,
something new to unravel from that day.
“Butterflies?” he chuckles. “I felt all of those, I did.”
Neither of them notices Taehyung standing by the door, leaning against the frame with a little smile
of his own. He only stays for a few seconds, wanting to get changed into his pajamas as well, but
he returns once he’s done, curious as to how is Jungkook still going on about the wedding,
wondering if he has passed to talk about their honeymoon.
He stops by the door once again, laughing quietly to himself as he finds the both of them fast
asleep. He has a second of thought, pondering on leaving him there for the night, but his position
doesn’t look comfortable and his neck will be sore in the morning, so he walks closer, shaking him
by the shoulders.
“What— What’s wrong?” Jungkook mumbles without even opening his eyes.
“You fell asleep, come to bed…” Taehyung whispers, holding onto his hands to help him stand up
and he does, stretching his limbs then. “You’re already at the falling asleep everywhere stage.. this
is tragic.”
“Listen—”
│►
“Why were you telling her about the wedding? She’s heard that story so many times.” Taehyung
asks, closing his book and placing it on the bedside table as Jungkook leaves their bathroom.
“I don’t know.” he shrugs, pulling his tee shirt off. Old habits don’t die and he’s never learned to
sleep with a shirt on. “I guess she really just likes to hear it, she was the one asking me to tell her
about it.”
“It’s probably because of the way you sound when you talk about it.” Jungkook lifts a confused
eyebrow as he climbs onto bed.
“How do I sound?” he asks.
“Happy. You sound really happy.” Jungkook’s confused frown turns into a smile and he’s quick to
get under the covers to scoot closer to the younger. He makes sure Taehyung’s tucked in properly
before he lays down as well, leg and arm going over his body.
“It was the best day of my life so I’ll probably always sound like that.” he nuzzles Taehyung’s
cheek with his nose. “That and when we signed the final adoption papers.” Jungkook adds.
“Agreed.” the other nods, turning to him, their faces just a few inches apart. There’s only one light
on from Jungkook’s bedside table but they’ve already gotten too comfortable to care about it.
“So… tell me, what do you want to do for your birthday next week? I need to start preparing stuff.”
“What do I want?” Taehyung nods. “Sleep the whole day while you take care of the kid.”
“Wow.” a shake of the head. “You’ve really just gotten old and boring, haven’t you?” Jungkook
tsks.
“I’m a tired man, it’s what I am.” he corrects. “I just find it funny how you speak like you’re so
much younger than I am. Just give it two years, you’ll be blowing candles starting with a four as
well.” Taehyung remains silent. “And I’d also like to state that I’m not the only one with the grey
hairs in this rel—”
“Let me interrupt you right there.” Taehyung places a finger to his lips. “If I have grey hairs is from
putting up with you two. Sometimes you’re just as much of a kid at heart as she is.”
“At least I’m the fun dad.”
“Are you saying I’m boring?” Jungkook turns around to turn off the light. “Jungkook.” nothing.
“Hyungie.”
“Good night.” Taehyung gapes, leaning away when Jungkook tries to kiss him. He’s not going to
take a kiss after such statement.
“I can’t believe this, you think I’m boring.” Jungkook can physically hear the pout on his voice and
he doesn’t even need the light to know it’s there.
“You’re not boring at all, you’re just most collected than I am, you know if she pouts at me I let
her do whatever and you don’t, that’s why you’re more responsible.” he gets nothing but a hum
and he laughs quietly, pulling Taehyung even closer. “We’ve been married for years and we have a
kid, you’re everything but boring to me.”
Jungkook turns the light back on, a part of him wanting to check if he’s correct and he smiles once
he sees the pout on Taehyung’s lips. He knows him too well.
“Don’t pout at me like that.” he whispers, pecking him once, twice. “You know I love you more
than anything, you’re not boring at all. Promise.” Jungkook whispers, his shiny eyes not leaving
Taehyung’s.
And that gets him to break the forged upset expression. “Your eyes haven’t changed one bit.” he
comments, his hand searching for Jungkook’s under the covers. They link on their own.
“They haven’t?” Taehyung shakes his head. “What about them? Because I don’t think eyes are
supposed to change either way.” he lifts an eyebrow.
“No— I meant, the way they shine and just… the way you look at me. It’s cute. I notice it every
time but especially in moments like this.” Jungkook’s eyes shift between his own as if taking in
what he was just told before they disappear with a smile.
“I don’t think that will ever change.” he combs Taehyung’s bangs away. “Mya asked why were
you the one walking up to me on our wedding and not the other way around. It caught me off
guard.”
“The prettiest should—” Jungkook laughs.
“That’s exactly what I told her!” Taehyung breaks into a fit of giggles himself. “You know me
well… and tomorrow is your turn to tell a story.”
“But I’ve run out of stories.” Taehyung frowns. “I’ll learn one from Google or something.”
“Oh, that’s really smart, actually.”
“I am really smart. You could learn a thing or two.” Jungkook blinks, turning around in bed to turn
the lights off again. “Hey, come here.”
“I praise you and you find a way to turn it against me, you’re evil.” Taehyung laughs. “I don’t want
cuddles.”
“Yes you do.” he sing songs.
“I don’t.”
“But you do.”
Jungkook sighs. “I do, come here.” he pulls him by his hands so that Taehyung is the one hugging
him from the back, both comfortable in each other’s hold. “You know what?” Taehyung hums.
“We should get a second kid.”
“No—”
│►
Chapter End Notes
Let's discuss
◄│ EXTRA: 4 │►
Taehyung wakes up to a loud noise by his side and he’s quick to process that it’s just his alarm. He
reaches with a hand, blindly searching for the button on the screen that would send it to snooze, ten
more minutes in bed sounding just about heavenly.
He rolls over to cuddle onto the other man but he’s surprised to see Jungkook’s eyes open, staring
at the ceiling. “Good morning, baby.” he greets, kissing Jungkook’s naked chest, right over the
tattoo that has been dedicated to himself. Right above his heart.
He can see Jungkook gulping instead of answering.
“Are you alright?” Taehyung asks, a finger dragging down the center of his throat, where he could
see him gulping just some seconds prior.
“Can— Would it be ok if we stayed in today? Instead of going for lunch with Jimin and Hoseok?
Can we go tomorrow?” he whispers, eyes meeting Taehyung’s. The blonde stares at him for a few
seconds, examining him, trying to take in the rather empty look to his eyes.
“How bad is it?” Taehyung asks in a whisper.
“Just— Just a four or a five… it’s not that bad but I don’t feel like going out, I don’t feel like
moving at all. We’re on vacation so I’m really sorry for ruini—”
“No one’s ruining anything.” Taehyung presses a finger to his lips. “Stay here, Koo, I’ll call them
and reschedule, don’t you worry.” Jungkook nods with a small frown that only goes away when
Taehyung leans in for a kiss. Jungkook hugs his pillow the second Taehyung starts getting up.
The blonde dials his best friend’s number, putting the phone to his ear as he sits down on the arm
of the couch. Jimin takes the call in two beeps. “Hey, Tae, what’s up?” he greets.
“Good morning, Minnie. I’m calling to ask if you’d mind if we rescheduled lunch for tomorrow
instead… Jungkook’s not feeling well.” Taehyung explains as he plays with a loose thread in his
socks. “We’re going to stay in today.”
“Oh, that’s ok, I’ll call the restaurant and say something came up, don’t worry. Is he alright?”
Jimin asks.
“He’s alright, it’s… I’ll explain tomorrow, I should go back to bed, and I have to text Yoongi
telling him that we’ll push lunch with them a day further too, as we were going tomorrow.” he
chuckles, light.
“Well, I hope he’s ok and that you’re ok too. I’ll call the restaurant, it’s really fine, tell him not to
worry either. And kiss Mya for me.” Jimin says with an audible smile. “Now, you should go back
to your man.”
“I will. Thank you for understanding, Jiminie, I’ll see you tomorrow.” they bids their goodbyes,
Taehyung soon ending the call and typing a quick explanation both to Seokjin and Yoongi.
“Morning, dad.” he hears, so he turns around to see Mya approaching, rubbing one eye. “Where’s
dad?”
“Morning, baby. Dad’s going to be in bed today, alright? He’s having a no day.” Taehyung
explains with an arm open, inviting, and she quickly makes her way to him. “We’ll have lunch at
home, instead.”
“What does a no day mean? You never tell me… but dad’s always so sad so I— I want to know
why dad has no days and what does that even mean!” she throws her arms up in a childish manner,
a frown on her face.
“Uhm, well, a no day means that your dad’s head is not feeling well. It’s not a headache, it’s just…
I don’t know how to explain it to you, you’re too young.” he scratches the back of his neck. “His
no days used to be a lot worse, do you remember? When Moon passed and everything?” she nods.
“He’s getting so much better with time, he doesn’t have many no days anymore.” Mya nods again.
“So yes, your dad is upset and sad but it’s not really because of anything, he’s not upset because of
me or because of you, it’s just his head that doesn’t treat him well sometimes.”
“Oh…! So he’s sad for no reason?” Taehyung takes a second before he nods. That’s kind of it.
“Woah, his brain is really mean.” she crosses her arms. “Why don’t you fix it?” Taehyung lets out
a small laugh at that.
“It’s not that easy, baby. It’s ok when your head isn’t ok, we just have to help him feel better and
happier on the days where he can’t do that for himself, alright?” he pulls himself up onto his feet.
“Now, do you want to go back to bed with us or do you want me to prepare you breakfast?” he
asks.
“Sleep.” she offers a smile and Taehyung just gestures her to lead the way. Mya runs to their
bedroom. She’s already climbing on top of her father when Taehyung gets there. He watches as she
kisses his cheek and his forehead afterwards.
“Dad said your head isn’t feeling ok today.” Mya says as she kisses it again, as if it would do
anything, possibly help, possibly ease the bad feeling. “Do my kisses help?”
Jungkook meets Taehyung’s eyes and the blonde just winks, closing the door. “Yes, they help a lot,
I’m feeling better already.” Jungkook half lies, pulling her down onto a lying position. Taehyung
joins them soon enough. “Did you text Yoongi? Called the restaurant?”
“I texted both Yoongi and Jin. Jimin said he’d call the restaurant himself. He also asked me to tell
you not to worry about this.” Taehyung whispers only for him to hear, Mya squished between their
chests.
“Can you—” he stops himself to pucker his lips, Taehyung meeting them soon enough, both
closing their eyes at the gesture. “Thank you for staying in with me, you could’ve still done for
lunch…”
“Do you really think I’d leave you alone when you’re feeling like this?” Taehyung asks with a
raised eyebrow. “I’d rather stay in with you, with you two, than going anywhere, anyways.”
“Does that mean I get cuddles the whole day?” Jungkook asks with the best set of puppy eyes.
Taehyung opens his mouth to speak but he’s interrupted by their daughter answering it herself.
“We’re cuddling dad the whole day.”
They both smile. “You heard her.”
│►
“I’m sorry that we couldn’t go to lunch today…”

“We’ll just go tomorrow, Koo.” he smiles.
“It was really weird.” Jungkook starts as they sit down on the bench, Mya fleeing to the swings.
“The feeling in my chest when I woke up, my head felt foggy and I was— sad and uh, all over the
place and it was so weird. I haven’t gotten like this in months, when I have bad days I just feel off,
I haven’t felt like not even moving in a long while.”
“I know, you’ve been doing so well and I’m so proud of you.” Taehyung sneaks a hand to his
thigh, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Jungkook joins their hands then. “It’s just a bad day, Koo, it’s
okay.”
“I just hate feeling like this, I’m not just someone who can afford to have days where I can’t get off
the bed, I’m a husband and a dad, I have responsibilities.” he whispers with a frown. Taehyung just
caresses his cheek carefully. “Is it really never going to go away?”
Taehyung stares at him for a second before he looks up at the sky. He taps Jungkook’s thigh for
him to look up as well. He does. “You’re… like the sky.”
Jungkook tilts his head. “Am I?” a hum. “How so?”
“Having depression is like... the clouds. They come and they go, some... some are thicker than
others and some of them are darker than others. Some days they're not even visible, they're just...
peppering the sky and some days they fill the sky and you can't even see the sun. In those days you
feel like this. They come and go, but they're always there. You're the sky, unfortunately, and
you'll... always have clouds on you, just... not always the same ones. And sometimes, the clouds
will be so big and dark that.. that you can’t even see the sky. Like today. And that’s okay, because
it always passes. And you’ll always come back… And you'll see the sun eventually. The sun is
always shining behind them, it never stops. You’re always there, you never stop shining, you’re
just… clouded.” Taehyung looks back at him, only to find him already staring.
Jungkook’s frown is even bigger now, he can’t even reply to that. Taehyung offers him a smile,
hand going to Jungkook’s chest where he taps over his heart.
“It won’t go away, but it won’t be here every day, and it won’t be so bad every time that it is. And
that’s okay, because there will be better days, there will be days that you’re happier, and clearer,
and better, and I’ll be there with you, and I’ll be here when your clouds are darker and bigger,
through thick and thin, sickness and health, isn’t that what we vowed for? I’m going to be here, and
I’m gonna help you. Each and every time. You’ll be okay baby, because it goes, the feeling passes,
like clouds.”
“Like clouds…” Taehyung squeezes his hand.
“Mhm. Like clouds.” he offers a smile.
Jungkook looks down at their hands before glancing at their daughter and letting out a sigh. “You
know what scares me the most? That Mya may grow to deal with stuff like this no matter how well
we treat her…”
“This morning she asked me about it. She said she wanted to know and understand what it means
to have a no day… she wanted to know how to help you, she's interested. She's only ten but she's
already such a smart girl, and she knows to come to us if she needs, she'll always have us, and with
a dad like you... you don't have to worry. You’re literally her best friend.”
“I’m so grateful for you two.” Jungkook whispers.

“And we’re grateful for you, baby… you've had way worse days than today and this is the worst
you've had in so long, that's so amazing. And you know for a fact that, no matter how bad your day
may be, I’ll still be there, next to you, doing whatever you need me to.”
Jungkook blinks. He feels so understood every time he shares whatever it may be with Taehyung.
He feels so respected and validated. It’s an overwhelming feeling. “Marry me.” he blunts out.
Taehyung raises an eyebrow. “We’re married already.”
“I— That’s right, we are. I forgot that for a second.” Taehyung gapes, one move away from
slapping his arm for that one. “Hey, hey, don’t hit me, I know you’re going to, I just— fucking fell
in love again.”
“Ok, I guess that does excuse the fact that you forgot that we’ve been married for years.”
Taehyung frowns. “I can’t believe you, out of all people.”
“Babe…!” Jungkook laughs quietly, grabbing both of Taehyung’s hands. “I didn’t forget, it slipped
my mind, there’s a difference. I just felt like proposing.”
Taehyung opens his mouth to defend himself when Mya stops in front of them. She’s holding two
flowers, one looks like it has seen better days, most of its petals already a dark, dead color, while
the other flower was clearly ripped off from a healthy bush.
“Dad says some days you’re like this…” she hands Jungkook the healthy flower. “But others
you’re like this.” Jungkook looks down at the both of them, confused as to why she’s giving him
that. “But they’re both flowers, are they not?” Mya asks with a shrug.
Taehyung’s jaw falls a little in surprise, eyeing Jungkook right away, expecting the tears to already
be visible but he looks shocked. The man looks up and down between them and the flowers. “I-I
don’t even know what to say…” he whispers.
“You’re a flower, dad.” Mya finished with a smile.
“I’m n—”
“Of course you are, she’s so right.” Taehyung is quick to defend. “I loved that, it was a great
analogy.” he says as he caresses her cheek. Jungkook just pulls the both of them into a hug,
Taehyung letting out a low sound of surprise. “Are you feeling better?” he whispers by Jungkook’s
ear, hand rubbing his back.
Jungkook frowns with a sniff. “I fucking love you two.”
│►
Jungkook parks the car in front of the house, Mya already popping her seatbelt off. “I miss uncle
Jihoon.” she says, excited. Jungkook just chuckles as she opens the door. “C’mon, dad!”
“I’m going, I’m going.” he guarantees, following after her. She searches for his hand, the right one
as it’s her favorite — it has her name tattooed, she deems it as the best thing ever — as they walk
to the door. Jungkook rings the doorbell.
Soon enough the door is pulled open, Nira standing with a big smile. “Hey, dude!” she greets. “Oh
you’re so big, you’ve grown so much since I last saw you.” she comments as she offers Mya a hug,
moving to hug the other man.
Jungkook eyes her up and down for a second. “You’re… so fucking pregnant.” he comments on
the huge baby bump. Nira just rolls her eyes, gesturing them in. They follow her to the kitchen,
Jihoon leaning on the counter.
Jungkook can’t even react before there’s a pair of arms around him. “It’s been so long, Kook.” he
greets, Jungkook patting his back. “And your little girl isn’t so little anymore, is she, look at you,
you’ve been eating well.” he offers a fist bump that she quickly gives. “Do you want one?” Jihoon
asks as he holds his beer towards Jungkook. He waves a dismissive hand.
“No, I don’t drink at all, but thank you.” he watches as Mya joins Nira by the counter, offering help
to cut the vegetables for their lunch.
“I started drinking again after what, two, three years? But now I’m able to control myself, it’s
really nice to be able to do that.” he explains in a lower tone.
“I tried drinking socially a few years after rehab and I fucked up, as you know, so I don’t drink at
all. I’m happy like this, I’ll be eight years sober this month and I couldn’t be happier about it.” they
both face him.
“You better call us on the day, we have to celebrate it.” Nira instructs. “Also, why did you
reschedule lunch yesterday? We ran to the store to get Mya ice cream and then Tae texted that
she’d come today instead.”
“Sorry about that, I woke up feeling… unwell.” he sighs. “I had a poor mental day, that’s what it
was. I feel bad for Tae sometimes, he has to deal with me waking up in different moods every
day.”
“At least it’s a mood per day, this is woman changes moods every twenty seconds, I never know
how to deal with it.” Jihoon says as he gestures towards his girlfriend, Nira turning around.
She still holding his knife. “What did you just say?”
“I never dealt with anyone pregnant but I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to comment on that…”
Jungkook whispers. “I’d be moody too if I had that huge thing attached to me the whole day.” he
gestures towards her stomach.
“That thing creates things like that!” she points towards the young girl in the room. “But yeah, you
and Taehyung are lucky neither of you had to see the other pregnant, Jihoon and I consider
breaking up at least once a day then make up then just get mad then just make up again.”
“If wedding planner Taehyung was a fraction of what he’d be if men could get pregnant too, I
don’t even want to think about it.” he jokes, getting a glare from his daughter. “Don’t tell your dad
I’m bad mouthing him.” Jungkook asks with a pointer finger.
“I’m so telling dad.”
“You’re so going to get in trouble if you do that.” he threatens but she knows it’s an empty threat so
she doesn’t even pay a second of attention before she looks back at the cutting board.
“If he doesn’t step up soon he’s never going to see wedding planner me.” she mumbles. Jihoon
tries to open his mouth to speak but he’s cut off. “No, why don’t you propose to me? We’ve been
together for so long! Jungkook took four months, why c—”
“I think I’m going to go.” Jungkook gestures behind himself. “We’ll catch up a bit more when I
come pick her up, so I’ll just run to the grocery store now, I have to buy a card for Jimin and
Hoseok.”
“Alright, Mya, will you walk him to the door? You know how close it, twist it twice.” Jihoon
instructs and she nods with a big smile. Mya walks with a skip in her step to the door, opening it for
her father.
“Behave with them, alright? If she pulls a knife again, call me.” Mya giggles and Jungkook smiles
at the sound. “Alright, give me five.” she's quick to high five him, Jungkook bending down to kiss
the crown of her head. “I love you, little one.”
“I love you too, dad, I hope today's good for you.” she smiles, Jungkook closing his eyes for a long
second as he breathes in, still holding her. She’ll never fully understand how much she means to
him.
│►
“Hey, baby, did you get the card?” Taehyung asks as soon as he picks up and Jungkook scratches
the back of his neck. He can’t pick one.
“They’re all so fucking corny, they’re like… too much, even for us. For them. I want to say they
sound way too gay for us but that’s homophobic and we don’t— I mean, I’m married to a man, I
can say that c—”
“Koo.” Taehyung giggles. “Just get a nice one and write something inside so that it’s not too
corny.”
“I have to write now?!” Jungkook stresses. “I can—” he turns around when he feels a tap on his
shoulder and his jaw falls, eyes going wide. “I’ll write something, I’ll see you in a second, love
you.” Jungkook ends the call without even giving the other time to speak. “Hey! Holy shit, it’s
been forever, how have you been?” he bows with a polite smile.
“I’m alright, what about you?” she asks as she rubs her belly and Jungkook’s eyes fall to catch the
movement.
“No way.” he chuckles. “That's so cool, I’m so happy for you, is that the first one?” Yun nods.
“How long are you? It’s not really noticeable yet.”
“Just two months, a boy. But tell me, how are you?”
“Oh, I’ve been great, I have a kid of my own, a little girl.” his smile stretches on its own at the
mention.
“Oh? What happened to you and Taehyung?” Yun asks, tilting her head, confused. Jungkook just
lifts his hand, showing the wedding ring.
“We moved to Amsterdam a few years ago, we’re on vacation here with her. She’s adopted, as
neither of us can actually produce a child like that.” he says as if it’s that hard to comprehend.
“You… got married?”
“You sound surprised.”
“I just— I didn’t think you’d ever be capable of a relationship as you sucked at it when I was the
one on the receiving end, I’d never think you and Taehyung would last as you were so not prepared
of it, as it seemed.” Jungkook can feel his blood boiling. He just stares at her before letting out an
angry chuckle.
“Right, I have places to be.” Jungkook tries to walk away but a hand on his forearm stops him.
“I didn’t mean it like that—”
“No, you did, let go of my arm please. Congrats on your child, I hope he doesn't grow up to be so
close minded like his mother, hopefully whoever's dating you teaches him how to be a decent
fucking human. Bye, Yun, I have a husband to get to.” he pries her hand away himself as she
makes no move to let go herself.
“What the fuck— What are you even talking about
“The fact that you even think that was an okay comment to say should speak enough on its own,
Yun. You have no right to comment about whether or not I was ready for a relationship or capable
of one at that time. As far as I’m aware, the only thing I wasn’t ‘capable’ of with you was sex on
my sister’s death anniversary, despite your multiple attempts to make it happen, so if something
like that invalidates everything else I was and am capable of in your eyes, I’m grateful it wasn’t
you I married. I’m late to lunch with my husband and my friends, and I don’t want to be late
picking up my daughter because of it. Congratulations on the child, hopefully you end up capable
of being a decent mother more so than you are a human being. Have a nice afternoon, it was lovely
seeing you.”
“Are you really bringing that up after years? We haven’t even seen each other in—”
“I’m not one to hold grudges, I really don’t, but I took all the fault on our failed relationship and as
much as yes, it was my fault, the shit you did was unacceptable and I never called you out on it
because I’m too fucking nice. I won’t accept you standing here talking to me like this, not now.
Know your place. I'll be going now, I have places to be.” he grabs the first card he sees, handing a
bill to the cashier. “Keep the change.” and he leaves, angry but relieved that he has finally taken
that out of his chest after so many years.
He’s already dialing Taehyung’s number as he walks to the rented car, anxiously tapping his leg
with the card. “Are you alright?” Taehyung asks.
“I bumped into Yun.” he frowns, opening the car’s door. “I was rude to her…” Jungkook admits as
he sits down.
“Well… I know you and you wouldn’t just be rude to someone, she must’ve said something to get
that to happen… and you can tell me what it was, if you’re willing to.” Jungkook sighs.
“She said she’s surprised that I got married because she’d never think I would be capable of a
relationship as I sucked so much at it.” there’s a long pause.
“She’s lucky I wasn’t there, fucking—”
“Jesus, Tae, you wouldn’t want to make the pregnant woman cry.” he chuckles. “I’m in the car,
I’m going.”
“But how are you? Are you feeling ok?” Taehyung asks, much calmer. Jungkook pouts without
even meaning to, staring at Taehyung’s picture on the screen. It was taken just a few days prior.
“I’m ok…? I was a bit shocked when I saw her but I was madder than anything. I just— I’m not
anxious or overwhelmed or anything of the sorts, I’m literally ok. I promise.” Jungkook explains as
he turns the car on. “I’m going to write the car once I park there and I’ll meet you inside. Don’t eat
the bread.”
“But it’s free.” Taehyung giggles.
“Then save some for me.”
“Okay, drive safely.” Taehyung warns.
“I always do.” Jungkook says with a smile, placing the phone on the dashboard to be able to drive.
“If you consider the time someone called me saying you were in an accident—”
“It wasn’t an accident, it was a bump and my phone was dead, I had to ask someone to call you.” he
clarifies but Taehyung just goes on.
“—safe driving then I’m taking your car.”
“I’m forty four, you can’t take my car.” Jungkook frowns.
“Don’t test me, hyungie. Bye, drive safely, I’ll see you in a bit. Love you.” Jungkook smiles.
“I love you too, peach.”
│►
“I heard you’re thinking about opening a second office, how are things going?” Jimin starts a new
conversation as their meal is placed before them.
Jungkook smiles, pride filling up his chest. “It’s good! I’m trying to get the deposit down so that I
can make it official but it’s taking longer than I wanted it to. But it’s better than nothing I suppose.”
“I’m still in shock of how fast you were able to grow the company, it’s amazing news, you’re
doing so well, hyung.” Hoseok compliments.
“Thank you... I was surprised myself, but maybe I just got lucky.” he shrugs. Jimin quickly
swallows the food in his mouth to be able to speak.
“Absolute nonsense. You worked hard and got what you deserved.” he shakes his head.
“Thank you… but enough about me, did Taehyungie tell you he’s trying to open a clinic of his
own?” Jungkook pushes the attention to his husband, placing a hand on Taehyung’s thigh, giving it
a firm, reassuring squeeze. They smile at each other.
Jimin is in awe to see his best friend like that. He couldn’t be happier knowing he found someone
who supports his dreams, who constantly encourages him, who wants him to speak and have the
attention.
Someone who doesn’t steal the spotlight from him. Not like someone from the past who he doesn’t
even want to remember. Jungkook’s the perfect match.
“I have to ask, do you think you’ll ever come back? To Korea, I mean.” Hoseok asks. Taehyung
just looks at Jungkook who gestures with his head for him to go on.
“We’ve... talked about it, Mya loves it when we come here because she really loves the culture and
everything but she’s still studying and we don’t want to mess up her progress by moving halfway.
Maybe after she finishes high school we can think about it!” there’s a moment of silence before
Hoseok huffs.
“When you move, you’ll be attending my funeral right away, I’ll be old.” he comments.
“Well, you won’t be older than him.” Jungkook’s chopsticks stop halfway to his mouth at the eyes
on him. He puts his hand down, offended.
“I’m too much in a good mood to be bothered by this defamation.” he shrugs it off, stuffing his
mouth again, the only thing that matters.
“I’m happy you’re in a good mood, Tae mentioned why you couldn’t come yesterday… I’m glad
you’re feeling better.” Jimin brings up in a soft tone, unsure it Jungkook will take it well.
“It was the only bad day I had in three months!” he smiles. “We’re proud of my progress, are we
not?”
“Oh, definitely.” Taehyung nods, mouth still full.
“Cheers to that. To happiness.” Jimin lifts his glass of red wine, Taehyung and Hoseok meeting it
with their own and Jungkook holding his with coke. He doesn’t even ask them to get alcohol free
anymore.
He can’t drink and he doesn’t care. He doesn’t have to feel included anymore. He’s way too happy
to even care about it. And they respect that.
│►
Mya makes a grab for another slice of pizza, soon munching on it. Taehyung takes the moment to
reach for Jungkook’s hand, linking it with his own. “Are you really ok? After the Yun situation…”
“I didn’t realize how much progress I’ve really made until this. I felt nothing but annoyance when
she said what she said. I couldn’t— I couldn’t believe I reacted that way but honestly, I felt really
fucking good.”
“Who’s Yun?” Mya asks, butting in.
“A girlfriend I had before dating your dad.” Jungkook shrugs, deciding to be honest. They’re
always honest with her. They have nothing to hide.
“Wait, you liked girls before?” she asks, eyes wide.
“I— Tae, how do you explain bisexuality to a ten year old?” he turns to him again. Taehyung just
waves at him to speak, gesturing towards his full mouth. Jungkook half closes his eyes at him for a
second. “Well, sweetie, you see, there’s people who like the other gender and people who like their
own. Then there’s people like me, we like… everyone.”
“But I also like everyone—”
“It’s not a liking as being friends. You have to really like him, like married type shit. It’s about
love. About whom you love.” he explains with a shrug, fixing her ponytail.
“But you love dad, you said love— you and dad are both men and that’s being gay so how are you
gay if you’ve dated girls…! You said it’s about who you love and you love dad! A man!” she
frowns, confused.
“You’ll understand it better when you’re older but you’ll find people attractive and you may find
either girls or boys. Or both, which is my case. I find everyone attractive and— Tae, help.”
“What he’s trying to say is don’t worry about it because you’ll learn to understand when you’re
older.” Jungkook nods, fully agreeing. “Okay, sweets?”
“Mhm, I just know it’s ok to love whoever, that’s what you always told me, I was just surprised
that dad has liked girls before. It’s weird that you weren’t always together.”
“Your dad was a ladies man back in his day—”
Mya gasps. Jungkook rushes to grab another slice of pizza for her, handing it as a distraction.
“Don’t lie, he’s lying, don’t listen, eat your food.”
“I’m not lying.” Taehyung shakes his head.
“Anyways…!” he drags. “I wasn’t sad because of Yun and today was a good day, thank you for
asking.” he frowns, Taehyung reaching for his hand again.
“Shut up, you big baby.”
“Don’t fight over pizza!” Mya interrupts their banter, Jungkook dropping the frown to laugh
quietly.
“Your dad’s just being the meanie he always is.” Jungkook explains, trying to provoke the other
further.
“He’s talking about himself.”
“Shut up, you—”
│►
◄│ EXTRA: 5 │►
Chapter Notes
And so this... is the end. Thank you so much for sticking for the extras too... <3 it
means so, so much to me.
“Dad?” Mya calls, looking at Jungkook through the mirror as he focuses on braiding her hair just
perfectly in two halves separated in the middle. Jungkook just hums. “Can Jake come for dinner
tonight…?” she asks with a big smile when their eyes meet through the reflection.
He looks away at his husband — who’s just as focused ironing her graduation gown — and he
frowns. “Baby, she’s asking again.” Jungkook complains. Mya slaps his leg lightly, her sitting
between them. “She’s asking if Jake can come for dinner.”
Taehyung looks at them briefly, sending a wink at his daughter that Jungkook doesn’t miss. It
makes him frown further. “Of course he can, honey.” he says.
Jungkook huffs. “He’s always here, I’m tired of him.”
“Dad…!” she drags, whining.
“He has to start paying rent, do you think food pays itself?” he asks as he ties the braid. It looks
just as perfect as the one in the reference picture Mya showed him.
“He’s my best friend…!” another whine.
“He’s annoying, I like your other friends better.” Taehyung chuckles to himself, already used to
their constant banter. “Especially Lucy, I like her, she’s really nice to me for some reason,
remember when she came by just to give me a bag of those chips I like?”
“She’s only done that because she wants to replace dad Taehyungie.” Mya mumbles through a pout
and Taehyung laughs, the iron almost falling from his hand as he goes to put it down.
“Anyways…! Can Jake come or—? He said he wants to have dinner with me since it’s our
graduation day but I told him I want to have dinner with you two… so I suggested he’d come
instead.”
“Oh, I see, he’s already invited, you’re just informing us, huh?” Jungkook raises an eyebrow,
watching her apply her mascara thoroughly.
“Yep.” she nods before sitting back down between his legs. “Taehyungie, pick a color.” she calls,
her father looking away from the gown to see her holding two shades of lipstick. One is a bright
red while the other is a nude one.
“The red one.”
“Thank you, dad.” she smiles. “Can I do your makeup before we go? I have this new gloss that
wouldn’t even show how you kiss all the time.” Mya suggests but Jungkook is quick to deny such
an offer. “Why not?”
“Uh, hello? Because I’m going to cry my eyes out watching my baby graduate high school and I
don’t need to look like a raccoon after. I’ve done enough of that by ruining our wedding pictures, I
swore to never again.” Jungkook explains.
“Oh, you two are definitely going to cry.” she laughs, an evil laugh.
“We're aware… but how are you so certain?” Taehyung eyes her suspiciously.
“I have a speech prepared.”
“Oh God.” Jungkook scratches the back of his head. “Tae, honey, if I pass out, don’t leave me
there.” he eyes his husband as he turns off the clothing iron, walking towards them with the gown.
“Hyung, I’ll honestly act like I don't know you.” Mya laughs. “Come here, let’s put it on.” he
instructs, their daughter using Jungkook’s thighs to support herself and pull her weight up so that
she can rush towards the other. Taehyung helps her put her gown on.
“I’m already tearing up.” they both look at Jungkook with a laugh. “I don’t know if because of how
proud I am of you or because of the heartbreak your dad gives me every day.” he jokes.
“C’mon, we don’t have time for a divorce.” Mya holds her arms up. “It’s my graduation day,
discuss that tomorrow, please.”
“Alright, I’ll put that on my schedule.”
Jungkook rolls his eyes with a smile. “You two are so irritating.”
“We love you too, dad.”
│►
“And the next one to grab their diploma…” the man starts. “Kim Mya. Please come up.” she gets
up, hearing the claps from everyone and the whistles that she's almost certain come from her
parents and friends.
She shakes hands with everyone, every teacher and higher figure from school, before she walks to
the microphone. “Hey!” she starts with a huge smile. If there’s one thing she got from Jungkook, is
popularity. “I prepared a speech and yes it’s going to be really personal so… listen or don’t, this is
not really for you, it’s for my parents and those are the only ones that I want to listen well to what I
have to say. This speech is going to be for them and about them because they seriously mean
everything to me.”
Jungkook reaches for Taehyung’s hand at the same time that Taehyung reaches for his, both
quickly intertwining their fingers, squeezing for support and reassurance. They know they’re going
to cry, it’s inevitable to them.
“My name is Kim Mya, and I have two dads, as most of you probably already know. They've been
together for… a really long time now and to this day one of them… still battles his depression. He's
also a recovered alcoholic and dad please don't kill me for saying this up here—” there’s a few
giggles, including a nervous one from herself. “—but… what I’m trying to say is, he's a recovered
alcoholic who grew up on his own. Meanwhile my other dad was part of a toxic and abusive
relationship for… I don’t know how long, actually. And they got together, and it may seem like the
worst pair because oh my God they probably drag each other down but… it's really the opposite. I
was lucky enough to grow up in our house, with them, who are so strong for each other, who
seriously love each other so much. And... I love them both equally with my whole heart but... I
have to talk about Jungkookie because... he's also my best friend.”
“I think I have tissues.” Taehyung informs, patting his thigh. Jungkook only nods, eyes never
leaving his daughter on the little podium.
“When I was young, some teachers would ask me if I needed support. Support when it came to my
dad's depression, to the fact that I had two dads and no mom, or any feelings of neglect. And quite
frankly I find that offensive. Because no matter how many no days my dad had, no matter how
many times I saw my dad cry or freeze over something that was said that reminded him of his past,
I, not once, ever felt neglected. They love me unconditionally and I feel and felt that with every
beat of our hearts. It never mattered how many times my dad needed help, I was never told I
couldn’t talk to them, I was never told to give them space, they loved me, even when they
struggled to love themselves. And that love, for each other and for me, transcends past this society,
that likes to criticize people like them, even though their love by far exceeds any love that our
society feels for each other.”
“Did you happen to know about this—?” Jungkook asks once he notices how he’s crying so much
more than Taehyung himself. Taehyung giggles.
“I proof read the speech for her the other day.” he leans closer, sliding his arm under Jungkook’s to
hug it. “I told her it was ok to talk about you and I hope you won’t be mad at her. Or at me.”
Jungkook sniffs. “I’m not mad, just surprised…”
“And— And they're seriously the most supportive parents anyone could have. High school is uh
full of uh, — Taehyungie cover your ears — assholes that have no respect for different people and
this last year was tough with essays and stressing over exams and I've lost count how many times I
broke down on their laps because I thought I couldn't do it. Yet… I'm graduating. Thanks to my
supportive gay parents.”
Taehyung looks around, everyone is smiling, some look a little surprised, some even eye both him
and Jungkook with curiosity.
“And I just think that, I don’t think I would’ve been able to do this without their love, just like
neither of them would be where they are today without each other’s love. And I’m not some sappy
naive girl who thinks love has all the answers, and that it’s all you need to get by. Because it’s not.
They’ve had to go to therapy, rehabilitations, move to a different country without speaking the
language, they’ve lost people, suffered trauma and they fought so hard to be where they are today,
and I couldn’t be prouder of them, truly, they’re my inspiration. And not because I love them. But
because of what their love has allowed me, or them to do. Their love made each other stronger,
fight harder and be happier. It doesn’t solve problems, but it makes you solve them yourself.”
She wipes away a tear that still falls even if she tries her hardest not to. The amount of pride and
love she feels for the two men in the crowd is just above and beyond anything else.
“And uh, okay, I've totally passed the two minutes they told me I had but I just... had to talk about
them, cause I want whoever here that needs to hear this, to know there's hope. Jungkook once
thought there wasn’t and look at him now. Whoever needs to hear this, my speech was for you.
Thank you, that's all.” she bows, smiling as they clap and she feels proud of herself, too.
She sprints as soon as she steps down, running towards them, who receive her with open arms,
engulfing her in a hug. “You did so well.” Taehyung whispers for her.
“Did you two like it?” Jungkook just sniffs, hugging them even closer. “I wanted to talk about you
two because your story inspires me so much…”
“We loved it, honey, we did.”
│►
Jungkook stops playing with the rings on his husband’s hand when the door is open, Mya climbing
into the back seat and closing the door again. She puts on her seatbelt and crosses her arms after
that.
They both stare at her through the rearview mirror. “Isn’t Jake going to come?” Jungkook asks.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” she mumbles, looking out the window. Taehyung shares a look with
his husband before gesturing towards a crying Jake by a tree. Jungkook scratches the back of his
head.
“So Jake, who’s crying, isn’t coming into the car?” Taehyung asks then. “How come?”
Mya sighs. “Can you just drive, dad…?” Jungkook hums, twisting the keys to turn the car on
before he starts driving, pulling away from where they’re parked. She doesn’t look away from the
window.
“Does this call for a stop for ice cream?” she perks up. “I’ll take that as a yes, Koo, drive to
McDonald’s or something, we’ll get one on the drive through.” Jungkook nods, his hand falling to
Taehyung’s thigh as he drives quietly.
None of them dares open their mouths. They simply communicate through eye contact, eyebrow
raises and often squeezes to Taehyung’s thigh.
Mya remains quiet, unmoving, on the backseat.
Jungkook pulls over at McDonald’s, waiting for their turn. “Good afternoon, how can I be of
help?”
“Hi, it would be a… Oreo McFlurry with extra Oreos on top, please.” he speaks into the
microphone, only to be tapped on the shoulder repeatedly. “Yeah?”
“I want a KitKat one too.”
“Add a KitKat McFlurry to it, too.” Mya sits back down. “Do you want something, baby?”
Taehyung shakes his head as a no. “I don’t think I want one, I’ll just take some from Mya’s.”
“If you want to lose a hand.” she quickly says.
“...add a mini Oreo one too, sorry.” Jungkook decides.
“Would that be all?”
“Yep.”
│►
“...I don’t know, she seemed pretty—” Taehyung stops talking when Mya opens the door to get
into their bedroom. She gestures for them to open some space between for her to sit down and so
they do, Mya plopping herself in the middle. Taehyung taps her thigh. “I’ll get you some fries.”
“Thank you, dad…” she offers him a smile once he kisses her forehead and they remain quiet as
Taehyung leaves the room. Then Jungkook eyes her.
“Do you want t—”
“No.” Jungkook nods, puckering his lips. She sighs, looking back at him. “Yes…”
“What happened, baby? Did Jake do something?” Mya nods. “Do I need to drive there and have a
word with him? I will.” she shakes her head, holding his forearm.
“He just… He kissed me.” Jungkook blinks. “He told me that he likes me…” he hisses.
“Poor guy.” Mya gapes, slapping his arm with no strength. “Hey, hey, don’t hit me—! As a fellow
man who has been rejected before, it sucks. But you did so well by standing your ground, he has to
understand and respect what you want.” he places the loose hairs at the front of his face behind her
ear. “Until I see you look at someone the same way your dad looks at me, I’ll know you aren’t
interested. And that’s ok. There’s nothing wrong with that, and you were honest with him. He
needs to understand and respect.”
“But… I feel so bad… he started crying.” Mya pouts.
“I know it sucks to think you’ve hurt him, he’s your best friend and all, and I’m not going to lie to
you and say that you didn’t, but he was willing to risk that. You’ve done the right thing, saved him
from having false hope and now he can be a man and accept your friendship. You might want to
prepare yourself for the eventuality that he will want space, though. Just don’t feel bad for feelings
that you can’t control.”
Mya nods, needing some time to think, so she just lays down on his lap, placing his hand on her
head and it’s clear enough that he must play with her hair. Which he does his best to do given she
still has the braids on.
They stay in silence until Taehyung returns with a small bowl of fries and one with chicken
nuggets. Mya sits up to accept the both of them. “Thank you so much, dad.” Taehyung just shakes
his head, sitting back where he was. “I rejected Jake…” she tells him.
“Oh, I could tell.” Jungkook blinks. Mya does too.
“I feel so guilty.” she whispers.
“I know that feeling, knowing you really just hurt that much someone you care for, but you can’t
hold onto that, you can’t just blame yourself.” Taehyung explains.
“I thought dad was the heartbreaker.” she tries with a smile, wanting them and herself to laugh and
feel less terrible. Jungkook facepalms.
Taehyung just shakes his head, patting her leg to get her attention back. “But he’s your best friend
and you may end up liking him, if you want to try something… I don’t know, you have our
support. It’s not very considerate towards him and his feelings but… you know.” Taehyung shrugs.
“Your dad and I were friends before dating and he fell before I did, he was in Jake's place and yet,
look at us.”
“We’re moving to Korea…” she sighs. “I don’t want to try anything knowing I’ll be moving in a
month or so.”
“Baby, if you want to stay, we’ll stay.” Jungkook reassures. “It’s as you prefer, you’re the young
one who has her life to build still.”
“No, we’re not staying, definitely not. You moved all the way here, risked your careers and lives
just to have me and now I want to give that something back. You left everything there so I’m
leaving a potential crush behind. I can leave a boy for you.” she says, certain. “We’re moving to
Korea, to your apartment.”
They both lean in at the same time to kiss her head. Mya smiles, feeling a whole lot better already.
“We love you.” Taehyung tells her.
“And I love you more than I’d ever love a boy.” Jungkook takes her new mood to try and steal a
fry but his hand is slapped in a second.
“Holy fuck, you’re getting strong.” he leans away.
“Don’t steal my food when I’m sad.”
“I bought those!” Jungkook points.
“For me. Yes. Thank you.”
│►
Taehyung tuts when he notices the office light still on and so he goes in, Jungkook sitting by the
desk with way too many papers in front of him. Taehyung walks behind him, who doesn’t even
notice that he’s not alone anymore, and bends down to massage his shoulders. Taehyung kisses his
neck. “You’re tense.” he whispers.
“I’m trying to negotiate the terms on the contract for when I leave but the new CEO is just, he’s so
— I can’t even explain.” Jungkook sighs as he signs another paper. “It’s still my company, he will
be the CEO but I’m the owner, and he’s failing to comprehend that a little.”
Taehyung rests his head on his shoulder. “I thought you were confident that he was the right pick,
how come you’ve changed your mind?” he whispers.
“Because I met him a few days ago and let him just get familiar but he’s so.. he just, something
about him doesn’t sit right with me, so I was thinking of going with that woman I mentioned
instead? But the contract’s already being put forward and I’m just, I’m trying to either fix it up or
stop it altogether, but I don’t know if I’ll be too late for that and then I’ll be stuck with a shitty
contract and I’m just not sure—” he stops, closing his eyes and focusing on the hands massaging
his shoulders.
Taehyung just listens.
“The building in Korea is also pretty much ready but I still have to go through all of the
curriculums sent to me so that I can start the interviews once we arrive— I have to get everything
here under control so that the company keeps going well even with the changing CEO as I’m still
above him and it’s just— I’m fucking stressed. There's suddenly way too much on my lap.”
Taehyung kisses his cheek. “I’m ranting, I’m sorry.”
“No, no, it’s ok. You know it’s eleven at night, right, baby? I turned off the coffee brewer that you
turned on when you went into the kitchen, you won't sleep if you drink that and you should
definitely come to bed.”
“I’m afraid that I may make dumb decisions.” he sighs.

Taehyung kisses his neck, again. “You didn't get where you are by making dumb decisions, you’re
the smartest person I’ve ever met. It’s your company, your decision, your call. If you feel like
going with the woman instead, you can just… do whatever the hell you want, honey, you're the
owner. You’re the one who calls the shots.” he speaks slowly by his ear. “I like the woman better,
if you want my opinion, I just wanted you to do what you felt was better.”
Jungkook turns around in the chair. Taehyung takes the opportunity to press a kiss to his lips. “I
like the woman better too… I have to read it ag—”
“How about we sleep and think about it tomorrow? Hm? I’ll think with you, too.”
“But I’m meant to call him tomorrow morning—”
“Baby, you need sleep, I can see your eyes almost closing. We promised that your health would
come before your company when you started it, remember? As your therapist I’m saying this is a
health matter and as your husband I’m telling you this is bedtime. I want cuddles. C’mon, stand
up.”
Jungkook frowns but he gets up, still fixing the papers into perfect piles and Taehyung watches the
crease between his eyebrows get a little deeper.
He places a hand between his shoulder blades. “If you really want to take care of it now, I can help
you, baby.”
“No… I’d rather cuddle you.” Jungkook leans closer to rub their noses together. “Let’s go to bed,
shall we?”
Jungkook falls back onto the bed from how sleepy he is and Taehyung makes sure to take his
shoes off. “I can do it myself, I’m not a baby…” he whispers and Taehyung just hums, well aware
of how Jungkook’s eyes are already closed.
“You’ve been working way too hard with all this moving situation.” Taehyung tsks.
“I just want to make you proud.”
“You always do, honey. Just by being here today, I could never be prouder of you just by still
being here.” Taehyung kisses his shoulder. “Now, lift up your butt for me so that I can take off
your pants, will you?”
Jungkook does as asked with a little lazy smirk. “If you wanted to do the fucking tonight, you
could've just—”
“Babe, I’d pull a thing on my back if I was to handle you while half asleep.” Taehyung says with a
giggle and Jungkook gasps, loud, a little exaggerated.
“Are you calling me fat now?” he sounds beyond offended, one eye open.
“No, I’m calling us old.”
“Us? Us?! What do I have to do with this— I can still pick you up.” he defends himself and
Taehyung snorts, well aware of how incorrect that affirmation is.
“Remember what happened last time? Because I only remember when I fell to the floor.” Jungkook
laughs, pulling Taehyung by the hand so that he lays down under the sheets as well.
“I told you, the floor was wet.” Jungkook points out. “Will you leave me for a young dude, now?”
Taehyung leans in to kiss him as he agrees with a hum. Jungkook just smiles, kissing him again,
and again. “I’m sorry that I’ve been stuck at work so much recently…”
“Don’t worry, baby, I know you don’t mean to.” Jungkook leans in again then, kissing a little
slower, deeper, Jungkook starting to roll over Taehyung’s body, a hand cupping his jaw. His hips
start moving ever so slowly. “We have to enjoy it while it still works.” Taehyung snorts, choking
on his spit when Jungkook leans in for another kiss.
There’s a knock on the door. “I hear kissing! Cover yourselves, I’m coming in!” she jokes,
counting to give before she opens the door. They’re both already sitting up when she sees them.
“Hi.” she smiles.
“We should’ve just named you cock bl—” Taehyung quickly covers his mouth. Mya laughs as she
sits down next to them. “You look like you’re in a better mood.”
“I wanted to thank you two for being so incredible, even today and uh, Jake called so we talked it
out and I apologized, he apologized and we agreed to still be friends even when I move.” she
explains. “But the really exciting news…!” Mya claps. “I feel like it’s the right time to tell you
what I have applied for in college. In Korea. We shall just wait for the emails to know if I get in or
not.”
“Oh shit, okay, what did you apply for?” Jungkook perks up. “Math?”
“Dad. Please.”
“You’re too dumb for that, I’m joking.” he says with a smile and Mya just shows him her tongue.
“What is it, though? Tell us, please.”
“I’ve applied for psychology. I want to become a child therapist in the future… for many reasons.
One, I love children. Two, Taehyung’s stories on how he’s helped so many people always inspire
me and three — possibly the one with the most weight on this, I want to help those who have gone
through pardon my language, horrible shit in life because not everyone can fight as hard as you did,
Kookie… and not everyone will find their Taehyungie.”
“That’s— You're going to do great, baby.” Taehyung rasps out.
“We’re so proud of you, Mya, so proud.” it’s Jungkook’s turn to speak.
“And I’m so proud of you too, dads, honestly, you two are my best friends above anything else and
I just want to make you two proud.” she tries not to get emotional. Again.
“You do.”
“Every day.”
Mya pulls them into a quick hug. “I’ll go watch a movie and I’ll leave you two to cuddle… or
kissing…” she says as she gets up.
“Don’t go to bed too late, just because school is over, it doesn’t mean you will wake up at two in
the afternoon.” Jungkook half scolds. Mya kisses Taehyung’s forehead before kissing Jungkook’s
cheek.
“I’ll sleep until I’ve, actually. Anyways…! Sleep well, you two old men.”
“Now what the hell—”
│►
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I Still Find You There

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I Still Find You There (Next To Me)

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/22534213.

I Still Find You There (Next To Me)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

He munches on it for a little bit, swallowing it down with a bit of whiskey.

“Gosh, okay.” Jungkook gives in.

“Thank you, Jin…”

“It’s nothing, Kooks.”

“Thanks.” Seokjin smiles. “What about you? How was work?”

“I did get a new one today. So…”

He just grabs the bag instead of saying anything, helping him.

“Your dog is an idiot.” Seokjin says.

“Yeah. Let’s see how it goes.”

Chapter End Notes

See the end of the chapter for more notes

“I am, yeah.” his coworker smiles too, nodding.

“Yes, let’s go. I have some things to share.”

Hyungsik is a busy man, Taehyung should understand it.

“I love you too, honey…”

Chapter End Notes

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Opening up is hard. Really hard.

That relaxes him a little.

Oh how he loves that dog.

It looks professional, yes, but somewhat cozy.

“Do you remember which doctor was it scheduled with?”

“Stop saying ok and go, you’ll be late.”

“Any hobbies?” he asks.

“How did you know I was hurting?”

“But did he make you feel comfortable?”

“I’ll pay you back one day, I hope.”

“There’s no need, focus on yourself instead.”

“Anyways… do you remember Jeon Jungkook?” he changes the subject.

“He’s my new patient.” a loud gasp.

“It’s ok, I’ll cook something for mysel—”

“I love you too.” he says.

Chapter End Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

Moon whines, laying on the ground in front of him.

“Shit.” he curses. “I’m fucked.”

He places half of them on each plate.

“We sure will. Thank you.”

“Don’t call anyone, I’m fine…!”

“I will. Thanks, I’ll see you later then.”

“Okay. I love you, have fun.”

“Then help us understand.”

“We know, Kooks, we know.”

“I have to go now.” Hyungsik announces, letting go of her.

“What about dinner…? I can heat it up— “

“Alright. I’ll take a shower and head to the bed.”

Everyone has their flaws, he knows. So Hyungsik is not bad, he thinks.

Chapter End Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

It makes him wonder how used he actually is to be like that.

And so he continues, the bottle almost empty.

Chapter End Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

“Have a good session.” she says with a smile.

And the doctor just waits.

“I’m sorry.” he whispers when he manages to gather his thoughts.

“That’s alright.” he chuckles. “I deserve that.”

Taehyung only listens, attentive.

Once he starts speaking, he has a hard time stopping. Ironic, it is.