ten

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/11657202.

Rating: Mature
Archive Warning: Major Character Death
Category: M/M
Fandom: | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Relationship: Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung | V
Character: Jeon Jungkook, Kim Taehyung | V, Park Jimin (BTS), Min Yoongi |
Suga
Additional Tags: Temporary Blindness, Slow Burn, Fluff and Angst, Eventual Smut,
Attempt at Humor, jjk is blind, taehyung talks too much, so much
dialogue, Bottom Jeon Jungkook, Top Kim Taehyung | V, smut is not
the main thing here tho thnx, based off of 'kita kita', Alternate Universe -
Modern Setting, Minor Jimin/Yoongi, taehyung is v adorable here, also v
funny, Enemies to Lovers, kind of, tourist guide!jjk
Stats: Published: 2017-07-31 Words: 16047

ten
by R1CEBOWL

Summary

when jeongguk's whole world blacked out, taehyung was there to bring all the colors back
into his life. piece by piece, slowly and surely.

Notes

heavily inspired by kita kita, a really good filipino movie that made me blush and weep all
at the same time. prepare yourself for a ride. some changes from the movie are made.
this is also so long and i am old and fragile. to get a fair knowledge on how everything
looks, you can watch the trailer of the movie here! it's very aesthetically pleasing and the
scenery is beautiful.

See the end of the work for more notes

Temporary.

The doctor said this blindness was temporary.

The cause of it was too much stress and Jeongguk wants to laugh and cry because what the fuck,
that could actually happen? Maybe life just loved kicking him in the ass and throwing bad things in
his way. Not only had he found his boyfriend—well, ex-boyfriend now—in someone else’s arms a
week ago but now he had lost his vision.

Just his luck.

It’s hard to cope. Everything is dark all over and what used to be a vibrant home was now just a
single solid shade to Jeongguk. He doesn’t even remember where he had placed most of his stuff so
he has to hold onto a stick to guide him along.

He knows he looks pitiful and it’s a pain because he’s on a long vacation right now from work due
to his blindness. It would have been much better if he was getting paid but things don’t really go
the way he wants them to.

There’s a small buzz that rings throughout his room and it snaps him out of his reverie. There’s a
few seconds of silence and Jimin’s voice echoes against the walls.

“Jeongguk, good morning. I dropped by your house earlier when you were asleep and I would have
woken you up had you not looked so tired. So, I took the liberty to just clean around the place for
you. It’s a mess, you know.” He stops to laugh.

Jeongguk can just imagine how he looks right now. Jimin would try to look as cheerful as possible
but he knows he’s just as pained as he is. Who wouldn’t be? No one would wish this upon their
best friend in any way. He’s all too grateful that he still has him by his side. Having moved to
Japan five years ago had been tough but ever since he had met the boy, he felt secure and lonely
nights turned to a thing of the past.

“I also prepared some food for you that would last for a week. You’re welcome, by the way.
They’re all in the fridge and they’re ready to eat. You just have to put them in the microwave,”Jimin says through
the speaker.

Nothing really registers in Jeongguk’s mind except how soothing his voice is. It’s a bit high-
pitched and he’s suddenly hit with a pang of sadness. He really wants to see Jimin again. Not in the
sense of meeting up but actually seeing him.

Sadness had been a recurrent feeling ever since his whole world had turned black. He feels
absolutely worthless like this and he feels like a burden to everyone around him. He can’t even
fend for himself properly and it hurts, how he has to depend on his friends for everything when he
had been so independent.

“I also stuck little stickers onto the settings of the microwave so it won’t be so hard for you to heat
them up. Nothing special, really. They all have the same time, yada-yada-yada. Anyways, I hope
you slept well and I’ll see—um, I’ll come over when work isn’t so demanding.”

There’s a long pause and Jeongguk’s almost certain that he had hung up until he’s speaking again.

“I miss you, Guk,” Jimin’s voice cracks ever so slightly and the walls Jeongguk had been building
around himself breaks down. Tears prick at his eyes and he rolls over in bed, patting the surface for
his extra pillow. Once he finds it, he pulls it to his body and he hugs it to his chest. “Get well soon.
We have some catching up to do. Bye. Enjoy your day.”

Click.

Jimin hangs up.

It is there, on his futon, that he actually cries in earnest for the first time since this blackout. It’s all
catching up to him and it presses down onto his chest, as if someone’s sitting on it.

He doesn’t deserve this.

He doesn’t deserve any of this.

On the beautiful streets of Sapporo, Jeongguk works as a tourist guide full time. If he had to be
honest, this was not the job he imagined he would have as soon as he moved to Japan. Settling
down in this country was a risk he had to take and even up to this day, his relatives look down at
him for not staying in Korea.

He had graduated from a decent college with a degree in business administration and he had
expected everything to go on smoothly once he was done studying but life, as ever, was cruel.
Reality slapped him across the face hard and after multiple failed interviews at his hometown, he
decided to try his fate at a different country.

The pay is good but after a long time of doing this job, he had grown to love it. He loves explaining
particular monuments and sights to people. He loves seeing their faces light up in recognition and
acknowledgement at his every word. He loves showing them around the place. He even loves the
nights when he has to dress up in silly costumes to entertain the people sitting down by the
fountain.

Just seeing the kids come up to him with bright smiles on their features was enough to make his
whole day. It makes all of this worth it.

But that’s where the problem comes in.

His job requires seeing.

He can’t see.

His vision was all he relied on and to have it taken away from him so abruptly was torture in all of
its glory. Losing his sight had never crossed his mind. Not even once.

On most days, Jeongguk beats himself up over all of the things happening in his existence. Was
this some sort of twisted joke? Was this punishment for leaving his relatives and parents behind in
Korea like that? Was this because he wasn’t good enough for his boyfriend? There’s no
connection, really, but he may very well blame just about anything as long as it gives him at least
some sort of explanation.

As a mantra to Jeongguk, he always counts to ten to keep himself grounded. Ten counts before
doing anything rash. Ten counts to keep his sanity in check.

Ten.

Ten days ago, his boyfriend had invited him to the Beer Garden.

Jeongguk remembers being excited. He had been on the edge of his seat the whole day because
maybe, just maybe, there was still hope for this dwindling relationship. Maybe things would fall
into place and he could forgive him for forgetting their anniversary. Maybe this was him setting up
a grand proposal and they could whisk off into the sunset just like that; a happy ending for the both
of them.

Now that he thinks about it, it could have been his fault for having his hopes up too high.

Nine.

There are nine lanterns hanging up above him and they light the place in an orange hue. There’s
dull chatter around the garden and he’s fidgeting in his seat, looking around the place for any sign
of his boyfriend. He glances at his watch.

Eight.

‘Meet me at the Beer Garden by eight p.m.’, the letter had said. Jeongguk had gotten off from
work as early as possible and he had freshened up, donning on a knitted coat over his white shirt.

He had traded his loose bottoms for tight jeans that hugged every curve of his legs and he has on
the Timberlands his boyfriend had bought for him. He treasures them a lot and they’re kind of
worn out already but he refuses to buy a new pair. Getting another one isn’t the same because they
don’t hold the sentimental value that this specific one has.

Seven.

There are seven crackers on his plate, left untouched because he has no appetite.

Six.

His boyfriend has six scars on his body. One on his cheek that he got from arguing with his brother
when he was little. Two on his thigh that he got from playing basketball. Another one on his navel
because he had appendicitis sometime in his life. Two more on his arms that he doesn’t know of
because he had gotten too tired to ask.

He’d be glad to give him one more if he doesn’t arrive soon enough.

Five.

There are five ants now crawling on top of his crackers and he couldn’t care less.

Four.

He had already downed four bottles of beer ever since he had arrived and he’s pretty sure he’s
tipsy. Or drunk. He doesn’t really know. All he wants is his boyfriend to show up because he’s
starting to get impatient.

Three.

He had already been waiting for three hours.

Two.

He sees two people in his peripheral vision. Jeongguk would have cooed at how sweet they’re
being, all close to each other and snuggling under pretty lanterns hanging above them.

But the guy looks exactly like his boyfriend.

One.

He doesn’t have it in him to stay calm. Fuck the ten counts.

Jeongguk’s livid when he finally stands from his seat and he grabs his bag roughly from the table.
He stalks to where the couple is and he stands in front of their table, a look mixed with anger and
hurt on his features. His boyfriend looks shocked, as if blood had been drained from his body, and
he wants to laugh. How dare he have the audacity to even speak his name with that disgusting
voice of his and say that he can explain?

He pulls the promise ring from his finger and he throws at his ex-boyfriend’s face, seething. He
doesn’t even have any words. He can’t speak and every time he opens his mouth, nothing comes
out. It’s as if something’s blocking his throat.

Jeongguk can feel his hands tremble as he hurries out of the place, as far away from them as
possible. He can hear his name being called out and he covers his ears. He’s starting to attract
attention, with the way he’s walking. His shoes make loud noises against the pavement and he
pushes through the crowd, earning glares from the people he had bothered.

He doesn’t care.

How can he care when it feels like someone had pulled his heart out of his chest and stomped on it
right in front of his eyes without any mercy at all? How can he care when it feels as if a million
arrows had pierced him, like deadly-poisoned darts?

In simpler words, he can’t.

Jeongguk’s steps falter and everything is swimming around him. All the colors bleed into each
other and there’s a dull throb at the back of his head. It hurts as if it’s being split open and he
heaves.

He takes in a deep breath and crouches down, hands braced on his thighs.

His cheeks are wet. There’s an endless stream of tears coming down his eyes and he’d rather die
than feel pain this raw that it has him aching all over. His whole body’s shaking and he brings a
palm up to his mouth to hold back a sob.

Everything’s falling apart.

Insecurity is a monster Jeongguk had learnt to deal with, something he had known to keep at bay,
but today is different and it’s threatening to swallow him whole. All because of his ex’s infidelity.
It eats away at his stomach and he has to remind himself to breathe in between choked cries.

His knees give way.

His whole world tilts.

He loses his consciousness.

Jeongguk doesn’t know what time it is but judging from his knowledge of his own body, he usually
wakes up by nine a.m. He hopes he’s right. The birds are chirping outside and he’s suddenly
thinking about the little plants he keeps outside on his porch. They’re probably withering away,
just like him. He almost snorts at how pessimistic he’s being.

He pats by the side of his futon for his stick and he clutches at it as soon as he finds the item. He
sits up and pats down his body to make sure he’s fully dressed. There’s a chair not a few meters
from where he sleeps, as far as he remembers. He knows he leaves his jackets and coats there.

He takes little steps, hands held out so he won’t bump into anything. He feels for the fabric of his
jacket, leaning down and holding onto the side of the chair to brace himself. He shrugs it on when
he finds it.

In Jeongguk’s mind, he pictures the layout of his house as how he knows it looks like. It’s one big
space, no upper floor and definitely no basement. From where he’s standing, his kitchen is to his
right. He turns and his feet move to their own accord, wary and hesitant.

Jimin had said there’s food in the fridge and Jeongguk tries to find it, relying on memory. He sets
the stick aside for a while in order to move about freely. He lets out a little oof when he
miscalculates the distance and his stomach hits the counter rather ungracefully.

Jeongguk’s fingers trail over the surface. He feels paper underneath his fingertips and he knows
these are the flyers he keeps from restaurants. This must be the second counter. Two more down
and it’s the fridge.

He walks sideways, holding onto the edge of the counter to keep himself steady. It takes immense
effort to get things done now but it’s not like he can do much about it. He has to learn how to deal
with this.

Life has to go on.

The container’s cold in his hand and he has no clue on what food this is but he trusts Jimin. The
boy’s a good cook and he figures Yoongi must have helped him along. He misses them, really.
Three counters to his left is where his microwave is and he carefully makes his way towards it.

It’s already plugged in and all he has to do is turn it on and press a few buttons. He feels over the
settings and he puts the food inside to heat it up. As instructed, there are three-dimensional stickers
on it and Jeongguk feels a smile tug at the corner of his lips. Jimin really thought this out.

There’s a bit of a struggle as Jeongguk eats but he manages to get it done either way, after a couple
minutes of just feeling and hoping to god that whatever he’s shoving into his mouth doesn’t spill.
He sets the container aside and washes it with clumsy hands. Jimin had also told him not to bother
with cleaning it thoroughly because he or Yoongi can just drop by soon and have it fixed.

Jeongguk reaches for his stick again and he holds it in front of him, letting it tap against the
furniture around the place. A few more steps to the middle of the room and it’s the main entrance
to his house. Right outside is a little porch where there are pots of plants adorning it. They may or
may not be dead by now. There’s also a table and two chairs by the right, where he usually hangs
out at on his days off from work.

He puts his slippers on and opens the door. The stick comes down to gauge how steep the step is
and he puts a foot down, making his way to where the chair is. He grabs at the arm and pulls on it
before sitting down carefully.

This awfully feels like a game where he’s blindfolded and he has to walk around with it for a few
days, maybe more. Hopefully not.

As soon as Jeongguk’s finally settled, he leans back and basks in the breeze. Losing his sight only
amplifies his other senses more and he can hear things a lot clearly now. He relies on them,
especially with feeling things around. That’s how he gets along the place.

He doesn’t forgo staying out like this during the day. It’s the only thing he can keep doing
constantly just like he had when he could still see. This keeps him grounded and sane, just enjoying
the peace and quiet atmosphere around him. His body’s a lot more relaxed now and he closes his
eyes.

Well, he was about to, anyway.

Right until a loud voice speaks up just across from him.

“Good morning!” the voice says in Japanese, all a bit too cheerful and Jeongguk almost jumps out
from his seat at the shock. His heart beats wildly against his chest and he clutches at the arms of
his chair.

What the fuck?

He can’t even say anything more because whoever this is just continues on spewing more
greetings.

“Good morning!” It’s in English this time.

Is this some sort of alarm clock? The voice sounds awfully like a broken record and Jeongguk
doesn’t know how to feel about this. He’s confused.

Another “Good morning!” comes but it’s in Korean.

What is happening?

“… Are you Korean?” Jeongguk finally manages to ask.

“Oh! You’re Korean too? I didn’t know!” The voice is deep and it would have sounded much more
appealing had it rather not startled him in such a rude manner. All the quiet and peace Jeongguk
had been reveling in breaks away and he isn’t in the mood to socialize with just about anyone.

However, he can sense the sarcasm in the tone of whoever this is and he rolls his eyes. “Why did
you speak in Japanese and English when you knew how to speak Korean?” he grumbles.

“Um, well…” The man sounds sheepish now, a bit embarrassed. “I wanted to try out my Japanese.
Sorry. I’m still not that fluent but I just can’t assume like that. I mean, I moved here just a couple
days ago and I really need friends but hey! It’s good that you’re Korean too. We can be really good
friends-”

The first thing that registers in Jeongguk’s mind is that this guy talks too much. He tunes him out
and purses his lips, frustration clear on his face. He reaches for the stick by his side and he
struggles to stand from where he’s sitting.

It’s too early for this.

“-and wow, did you know that there’s a convenience store just down the street? Not even two
minutes away and people must love it here a lot! I already love it too myself, don’t you agree?” He
continues rambling on and he turns to look at Jeongguk’s reaction, only to stop when he sees the
door closing.

“W-wait! Don’t go! I have food here. You can try some out? As a friendly neighbor greeting?” he
offers, holding out the wrapped container in his hand, as if Jeongguk can see it.

The door closes.

The guy rubs the back of his nape, standing awkwardly by the porch.

Jeongguk sets a warm cup of coffee down on the small table by his front door. It was a feat in itself
to be able to make a drink and he rejoices in his mind, glad that he had been able to do this one
thing for himself without any help from Jimin. He pats over the door and grabs the knob, turning it
and pushing it open. He takes his stick and the coffee, careful not to spill anything.

He manages, miraculously enough. He kicks the door close behind him and he sets the stick over to
his side. He pulls on the chair and he’s just about to sit when-

“Good morning!”

His coffee spills and he can feel the liquid burn his hand.

“Jesus Christ,” Jeongguk grumbles, trying to face the direction of where the voice is coming and
hoping that he’s giving whoever this annoying guy is a glare. He doesn’t realize he’s just staring at
a pole. “What the hell do you want?”

“I really don’t want to bother or anything but I just want to make friends and Japan is a really nice
place. This neighborhood is a really nice place. I don’t know anyone yet and I haven’t gotten
around. Are you okay though? Your coffee-”

The guy’s rambling on again and Jeongguk just wants to bash his head into the nearest wall. “Just
get to the point, will you?”

“… Wanna hang out? I have some tteokbeokki with me! I cooked a lot and I figured you would
want to try some.”

“No,” Jeongguk says simply and he’s already making his way back to his house, skin stinging
from the hot coffee. His mug’s laying outside on the table but he can just come back for it later.
He’d do anything to get away from whoever this new neighbor is. Why was he bothering him so
much? There are other people around so why is he settling on a blind man?

Does he find this funny?

“I… I really don’t mean any harm, I promise! I just want to make friends with-”

Just like their last encounter had gone, the door slams once again.

*
Jeongguk’s afraid that in return for losing his sight, he had been more closed off than ever. He’s an
introvert but he’s been keeping only to himself recently and he doesn’t really feel like interacting
with anyone else.

He’s wary the next time he sits outside at his porch, on alert as he listens to every little sound
around him. Small rustles has him turning and he knows he must look ridiculous but he just really
wants one day of peace just sitting here. Mr. Loud Mouth—as he had delicately named whoever
his new neighbor is—is a bit too much to handle for such an early time.

“Whoever you are, stay away, okay?” Jeongguk says to the air, already sitting down on his chair.
“I’m not in the mood to talk. You’ll get it when I see—I mean, when I hear you.”

He turns when he hears footsteps and he’s already speaking to his own accord. “Hey, you! I told
you to leave me alone!” he exclaims, clutching at his chair and hoping he has an intimidating look
on his face.

“Is there a problem?” the person asks and fuck, this isn’t Mr. Loud Mouth. Jeongguk’s cheeks heat
up in embarrassment and he stills, hands coming up and shaking in a hurried manner.

“Oh, no, not at all!” he reassures the man in fluent Japanese. “Sorry. I must have been hearing
things.”

Jeongguk slumps back down onto his seat and he runs a hand down his face in exasperation. He’s
still embarrassed and busy wallowing in mortification when there’s already a new presence right by
his porch. Contrary to what he knows, Mr. Loud Mouth’s standing right there, a little stool hanging
off of his arm and a container of food in his hand.

“Good morning!”

Jeongguk groans.

“I made sugar cookies today!” Mr. Loud Mouth announces and he scrambles to put his stool down,
unfolding it and placing it down onto the sidewalk. He clears his throat and sits down, keeping a
respectable distance between him and Jeongguk. “I baked them yesterday and I wanted to share
them with you. Let’s hang out, yeah? Get to know each other a bit more like good ol’ neighbors?”

“I already told you I don’t want to talk. Stop bothering me please,” Jeongguk whines and he stomps
his foot down to emphasize how he’s feeling. It’s a childish act but he’d do anything just to get this
guy off of his tail. “Can’t you understand me? Just leave me alone!”

“At least take these cookies,” Mr. Loud Mouth offers, watching pathetically from the side as
Jeongguk scrambles for his stick, already attempting to leave the scene. His eyebrows are furrowed
with his lips set to a straight line and he almost feels bad for bothering him so much. Almost.

“I think you could really use some sugar-”

The door closes for the millionth time in front of him.

“-because you have such a sour look on your face,” he finishes, more of a mumble to himself.

*
“Good morning!”

Maybe if Jeongguk just takes a few steps more to his right, he can hit this guy with his stick.

“I have chap chae with me today,” Mr. Loud Mouth offers, all in the same old cheery tone he uses
whenever he comes over. “You know. Food. For long life. Want some?”

Jeongguk wants to transport himself to another dimension.

Jeongguk can hear drizzles of water pouring right in front of him. His eyebrows furrow at the
sound and he holds onto the frame of his door, grabbing his stick and tapping it onto the pavement
so he knows where he’s going to step at. At this rate, he knows Mr. Loud Mouth is here.

“What are you doing?”

Mr. Loud Mouth looks up at Jeongguk, hand help up in midair with a watering can in his hand. He
stops and smiles sheepishly to himself, standing straight right after putting the item down.

“I was watering your plants. They were starting to turn into zombies.”

“I didn’t ask you to do that,” Jeongguk snaps.

“You can’t just let them wither away like that. They look so nice and it’d be a shame if they died,
you know,” the man reasons.

“Don’t touch my stuff.”

Jeongguk doesn’t think he has the energy to continue talking and arguing with this guy so he opts
on just ruffling his hair in anger, turning his back to Mr. Loud Mouth like he always does.

On this particular morning, Jeongguk doesn’t even come out to sit down at his chair. He just stands
by the doorway, listening closely to any sounds that signals Mr. Loud Mouth’s arrival.

He’s tired, really. This is getting way too repetitive and he’s ready to let this guy have a piece of his
mind. All he wants are his peaceful mornings back.

To hell with it.

“Good morning, neighbor! I have beef stew with me today!” Mr. Loud Mouth says after a few
minutes.

Jeongguk takes a deep breath.

Here goes nothing.

“Are you this stupid?” he finally says, fingers clutching onto his stick and pointing to where he
hopes the voice is. He’s really just pointing at his table but he doesn’t know this. “I’ve told you
hundreds of times that I don’t want to talk to you, okay? I don’t want to be your friend. I don’t want
to eat your food. Stop wasting your time on someone blind and do something better for yourself!”

Now that Jeongguk had said it out loud, it feels as if a weight is lifted off of his shoulders. He
doesn’t even wait for a response from Mr. Loud Mouth and he’s turning around, slamming the
door shut behind him. He leans back against it and runs his fingers through his hair. God, he hoped
that worked.

However, as the day continues, Jeongguk’s own words sit at the back of his mind and he wonders
if he had been too harsh.

There is no sign of Mr. Loud Mouth the next day.

However, he does appear on the day after that but there’s no cheerful greeting like he usually does.
Jeongguk’s hunched over his table and his eyes are closed. He’s mentally preparing himself for
whatever Mr. Loud Mouth has to say when a mumble of a small ‘sorry’ catches him off guard. He
stills and lifts his head up.

“You were right. I’m sorry,” Mr. Loud Mouth apologizes, fiddling with his thumbs and standing
with his head bowed, right across from where Jeongguk’s sitting. “I’m not here to bother you or
anything. I didn’t want it to come off that way. I just… I don’t know. I just really wanted to be
friends with you.”

Jesus Christ. Why was he like this? Now Jeongguk feels like an awful person for being so mean.
He’s turning into a cliché: blind and bitter. He’s opening his mouth but Mr. Loud Mouth’s still
talking. The guilt doesn’t sit well in his stomach and he realizes that yeah, maybe he had been too
harsh on him.

“I know I’m stupid. I talk too much, really. I thought about what you said.”

“Um, hey,” Jeongguk says hesitantly. “I really didn’t mean any of those. I’m sorry.”

“I’ve been thinking so much about it that I wasn’t able to sleep at all last night,” Mr. Loud Mouth
says a bit too dramatically but Jeongguk’s too dense to pick up on this, just feeling bad about being
so mean to someone who just wanted to be friends with him. “Your words really cut deep, you
know? They stung.”

Jeongguk can’t see it but Mr. Loud Mouth’s clutching onto his chest in an exaggerated manner, a
forced pained look on his face. He’s making a show of moving away, grabbing his stuff. His steps
are a bit too loud for someone walking so casually and an eyebrow quirks in interest when the
latter calls out and tells him to wait.

Jeongguk gulps and he scratches his cheek, eyebrows furrowed. Holy shit. He really did hurt this
guy’s feelings. He really does feel bad about it and this wasn’t how he wanted things to go.

“Yeah,” he says. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean any of them. That’s why you should stop talking
to me.”

“Wait, no!” Mr. Loud Mouth exclaims a bit too quickly, turning back around. This isn’t how
Jeongguk’s supposed to be reacting. He’s supposed to be making him stay and not pushing him
away. “I was kidding, okay?”

“I still feel bad,” Jeongguk mumbles.

“The important thing is that you apologized, alright? That’s more than enough for me.” Mr. Loud
Mouth’s more than happy to hear no bite in Jeongguk’s tone and he’s unfolding his stool once
again, sitting down at a distance. He’s basically inviting himself along but he figures this is alright
since Jeongguk doesn’t seem to mind so much anymore. “Is it alright if I stay here?”

“Yeah. Knock yourself out,” Jeongguk relents and he gives in.

This wouldn’t hurt. Making a new friend would probably be beneficial for him too so he doesn’t
rely on Jimin so much. Besides, now that his mind isn’t just laced with annoyance, Mr. Loud
Mouth seemed eager in getting to know him. He might as well just do it.

“Great!” the other guy says and he’s grinning, taking a container from the bag he has. He undoes
the cloth wrapped around it and glances at Jeongguk, slowly making his way to the table to set the
bowl and utensils down. It makes the boy jump a bit from the sudden noise. “Easy, easy. I’m just
putting some food down on the table. I made some really good ramen.”

Once everything is settled, Mr. Loud Mouth makes his way back to where his stool is and he takes
his own food out of the bag. It’s a bowl of ramen too and he knows he’s eating in the middle of a
sidewalk but it’s safe. No cars pass by this neighborhood and people mostly use their bikes.

“Don’t worry. If you’re wondering that I might have poisoned the food, I’ll eat along with you. I’ll
just be right here. So, if anything happens, feel free to scream or yell or cry. Your call,” he tells
Jeongguk, grabbing his own chopsticks and starting to eat, slurping obnoxiously loud that he can
hear it all the way over to where he’s seated.

Jeongguk bites his lip and he brings a hand up to the table. He grabs for the chopsticks, patting at
the space in front of him and taking the two sticks in between his fingers. He holds the bowl steady
and he leans down, taking a whiff of the food. It smells good and there’s no hint of anything out of
the ordinary.

“We’ll see about that,” he says, chopsticks prodding at the noodles. He mixes it as soon as he gets
the hang of where everything is. He takes in a mouthful of the ramen and he chews. He’s surprised
at how good it actually is. It makes him start to wonder how the good the other food Mr. Loud
Mouth had offered to him before must taste.

Silence hangs over in between them and Mr. Loud Mouth peeks up at Jeongguk occasionally. He’s
grinning to himself, pleased that the boy’s starting to warm up to him.

“I’m just checking,” he breaks the silence. “To see if you got poisoned or something.”
“Poison takes a day or two to settle in so you might want to check back tomorrow.”

“Are you insinuating that I drop by again?”

“Maybe.” Jeongguk shrugs. “Wouldn’t mind more of this. This shit is good.” As if to prove his
point, he eats more of the noodles, some of the soup landing onto his chin.

“You know what they say. The way through a man’s intestine is through his intestine,” Mr. Loud
Mouth says confidently. Jeongguk’s eyebrows furrow and the next thing he knows, he’s laughing
because what the fuck did he just say?

“You mean, the way to a man’s heart is his stomach.”

“Oh. Yeah, that. Whatever.”

Silence. Again.

This time, it’s Jeongguk who speaks up. “Hey. I never got your name,” he says, tone suddenly all
too shy. He’s still embarrassed at how much of a fight he had put up in the beginning, only to give
in in the end.

“Taehyung,” Mr. Loud Mouth replies, his bowl now empty save for some soup. “I’m Kim
Taehyung.”

Jeongguk doesn’t even realize he’s sort of smiling and he absentmindedly mixes his food.

Now, he has a name to associate with the voice that’s been bothering him for so long. He waits for
the question to be returned but he’s met with nothing and he wants to snort. “Well, Taehyung,
aren’t you going to ask for my name too?”

“Oh, right! How could I forget?” Taehyung brings a hand up to slap at his forehead. “What’s your
name?”

Jeongguk’s picking up more of the noodles and he’s grinning now, eyes fixed on particularly
nothing. “My name’s Jeongguk. Jeon Jeongguk.”

“Oh my god, what a beautiful name,” Taehyung exaggerates, clutching at his chest again and
trying to sound as moved as possible.

He peeks at where Jeongguk’s sitting and he grins in triumph when he sees a smile. Taehyung
thinks it’s really cute whenever he does, the way his eyes turn into crescents and how his cheeks
lift up. “I feel like a new person. That’s the best name I’ve ever heard in my life.”

“What are you even saying? Oh my god,” Jeongguk mumbles, attempting to sound annoyed but
failing miserably.

“You know, you really do look like a Jeongguk. But you’d have to be the best out of everyone
named that, rest assure,” Taehyung rambles and he’s determined to crack as many jokes as
possible, only if it means that gets to see more of Jeongguk’s smile. He doesn’t mind if he sounds
cringey at all or even if he sometimes misses the punchline.

“You say the weirdest things, Taehyung.” Jeongguk chuckles. “Come sit beside me.”

Taehyung shakes his head. “Oh no. It’s okay. I’m comfortable here.”

“… Are you sure?”

There’s a scoff and some shuffling that follows. “Of course not. My back was hurting there all the
time. I’d be happy to sit closer to you,” Taehyung says, voice nearer this time and Jeongguk almost
melts in his seat but he reminds himself to get a grip.

It’s not his fault that this Taehyung guy has such a nice voice, even if he talked too much.

There’s never a dull moment with Taehyung, Jeongguk figures. It feels like he’s listening to a
weird radio that requires real time participation. That’s how it was socializing with this man. Even
now, as he slurps down what he assumes to be the rest of his noodles, he doesn’t run out of things
to say.

Jeongguk thinks he can get used to this.

“Jeongguk, you haven’t called me or Yoongi in a while and I’m starting to get worried. You’re not
picking your phone up either,” Jimin’s voice rings throughout the room and Jeongguk groans,
rolling over in bed and pulling a pillow on top of his head. He wants to sleep more.

It’s not like he had meant to ignore Jimin. He had been preoccupied the past days and he didn’t
have time to answer his calls. He doesn’t even know where his phone is and it’s not like he’d be
able to use it.

Then again, it is a shitty thing to do, to not keep in touch with his best friend who’s practically
taking care of him and making sure he doesn’t fall on his ass every time he moves.

“Work’s being a bitch lately but we’re going to drop by in a week or two, okay? I miss you. Let’s
hang soon.”

The line clicks.

Any attempts to get another wink of sleep is futile.

Jeongguk runs a hand down his face and he sits up, hands reaching at the foot of his futon to
retrieve his jacket. He’s in the midst of shrugging it on when a voice just outside his house drifts
inside, rudely loud that he’s afraid his other neighbors would wake up from it too.

“Good morning, Jeongguk!”

Jesus Christ.

He’s already grabbing his stick and, having gotten used to where everything is laid out, heading out
of his house is a piece of cake. He just has to be cautious about that little steep step by the front
door.

Jeongguk opens the door and he folds his arms across his chest. He tries to keep a smile down,
which is still tugging at the corner of his lips. “Checking to see if the poison worked?”

“Of course-” Taehyung trails off as soon as he turns, words dying in his throat. His eyes are wide in
shock because the boy in front of him is in nothing but a pair boxers, jacket thrown carelessly over
his body in a lame attempt to cover up. “Um… I… I have some spring rolls today. They’re w-
wrapped…” he gulps. “-wrapped really, really nicely. N-not bare at all.”

Jeongguk doesn’t seem to even notice anything and his head’s tilted a bit to the side where he can
hear Taehyung’s voice better.

Taehyung allows himself to just take one tiny peek. One peek won’t hurt. His lips are dry and he’s
blushing furiously, eyes taking in Jeongguk’s figure. The first thing that he zeroes in on are his
muscles and god, had he always been this buff? Underneath all those oversized white shirts and
sweats is this?

He gapes at his thighs, looking up and down at the expanse of seemingly smooth skin.

Holy shit.

He knows he’s hyperventilating.

“Jeongguk, I think…” he admits, realizing the boy would appreciate the small reminder. “I think
you forgot to put on some sweatpants.”

Jeongguk’s eyes widen and he’s immediately grabbing at his jacket and zipping it up. He pulls the
door close and hurries back inside to put some bottoms on. His cheeks are red in embarrassment
and it’s all too hot. He should have figured that was why it had been so breezy.

“Don’t worry!” Taehyung calls out, looking at anywhere but behind him. He brings his hands up to
slap at his cheeks repeatedly, mentally screaming at himself to get a grip. It’s not like it’s the first
time he’s seen someone with barely any clothes on. “I wasn’t looking! I didn’t see anything at all!”

But Jeongguk is so pretty.

Pretty when he’s dressed down like this. Pretty when his hair’s a mess on top of his head. Pretty
when he’s still drowsy from sleep to even notice his lack of clothing.

Pretty.

Jeongguk comes out in some gray sweatpants after a while, his jacket all zipped up. Taehyung
grins and he’s walking forward to guide the boy to his seat without even thinking twice about it.

The contact makes Jeongguk jump but he lets Taehyung take the stick away from his hands. He
allows himself to be led to his chair, giving the boy a grateful smile as soon as he gets to sit down.
“Uh, thanks.”

“Thanks for the food? Or for helping you out?” Taehyung prods, taking his seat across Jeongguk.
He unwraps the handkerchief around the containers he has and he sets it out onto the table, placing
the food in front of him.

“Both. Also for not poisoning me. I’m still alive and kicking.”

Taehyung makes a little noise and he’s laughing, nudging Jeongguk’s side. “Oooh, I didn’t know
you had some humor up in you,” he teases.

Jeongguk doesn’t reply but the way his mouth tilts upward is enough for Taehyung as a response.
He lifts his hand up, searching for the utensils. He stills when Taehyung places his own over his.

“Easy. I’m not trying to hold your hand or anything,” Taehyung reassures him. “But I wouldn’t
mind if you want to.”
There he goes again. He’s really enjoying this, isn’t he?

Jeongguk kicks at his foot, missing only by a few.

“You don’t need any chopsticks for this. They’re just spring rolls,” Taehyung informs him,
holding Jeongguk’s hand in his and guiding it over to where the food is placed.

Jeongguk lets him but he’s painstakingly aware of how gentle Taehyung holds his hand. It's as if
he’s hesitant, not sure if doing this was okay. Taehyung turns his palm over, fingers trailing over
his slowly. Maybe he’s just exaggerating every single action the other’s doing. It’s not like he can
help it.

It’s not like he can just see what he’s doing for himself.

Once his fingers wrap around the spring roll, he takes over. He leans down and takes a bite,
munching on the food slowly. He hums in acknowledgement.

“You’re a really good cook,” Jeongguk compliments, looking up from his food and staring off into
the distance once again. It suddenly hits him, the desire to see Taehyung. He wants to be able to
associate a face with his voice so he knows he’s not hallucinating any of this.

“Yeah? Thanks. I try to cook in my free time,” Taehyung says, pleased with how Jeongguk’s
enjoying his food. “Back in Korea, I used to live off of greasy fast food and take-outs but one day, I
suddenly told myself ‘Tae, you’re not about that life anymore.’ And then, voila! I started to teach
myself how to cook.”

There’s a loud crunch. Taehyung chews.

“Where are you from, Taehyung? In Korea, I mean?”

“I was born in Daegu but I moved to Seoul for a job,” he explains. There’s another crunch.

Just like everything that Taehyung is, the way he eats is also… obnoxiously loud.

“How about you?”

Jeongguk makes a face at the memory and he stays silent for a bit, eating more of the spring rolls
until he’s finished. Taehyung hands him a tissue and he takes it gratefully, wiping his oily fingers
on it. “I’m from Busan. I’ve been living there for the rest of my life and I tried to settle down but
I’m not exactly what you would call lucky. So, yeah, I moved here to look for a job.”

“How’s that going so far?”

“Pretty good. It’s a stable job.” Jeongguk shrugs. He can feel Taehyung’s curiosity all the way over
to where he is so he saves him the question and just continues speaking. “I’m a tourist guide here
in Sapporo, in case you’re wondering. Like, I show people around the place. Sometimes, I dress up
in costumes and entertain on the streets. It’s a fun but tiring job. The pay’s alright too.”

“What a coincidence!” Taehyung exclaims, hand poised over his mouth at the information. “You
can show me around Sapporo then! I haven’t really been able to see everything in here since, yeah,
I have busy night shifts and all. But this can be a great way to learn more about the city.”

Jeongguk rubs at his eyes and he laughs. He shakes his head, as if the mere suggestion was absurd
to him. “Taehyung, can’t you see? I’m blind.”
The silence that follows between them is thick enough that Jeongguk thinks he can slice through it
with a knife. He fiddles with the crumpled up tissue in his hand, absentmindedly squeezing and
balling it up. He’s afraid he may have offended Taehyung again in some way.

“And what about it?” Taehyung whispers, putting the spring roll down back in his container. He
looks over at Jeongguk, taking in the little surprise that crosses over his features for a second. “I’m
not going to leave you behind. I’ll be your eyes throughout the tour. You’ll be safe with me.”

Jeongguk gulps and he sucks his lips in so he doesn’t smile. It was such a cheesy line and he wants
to cringe but the way Taehyung’s teasing him right after saying that is making it difficult. He snorts
and slaps the boy’s hands away when it comes too close to him.

“He’s blushing,” Taehyung coos, poking at Jeongguk’s side repeatedly. “Someone’s blushing.”

“Jesus Christ, shut up.”

“You have to admit I sounded like a really cool lovesick lead actor in a crappy drama, though.”

Taehyung doesn’t point out how Jeongguk had worn two different pairs of shoes on his feet. He
doesn’t point out either how his clothes don’t particularly match and how they don’t complement
each other at all. He does point out, however, how good he looks. His bangs are brushed off to the
side, revealing his eyes. The little pimple marks he has on his left cheek are less pronounced and he
can tell Jeongguk had covered them up quite successfully.

Jeongguk holds onto his stick and he closes the door behind him. The sleeves of his white hoodie
slip down his wrist every time he moves.

He’s well aware that he’s staring. It’s just a wonder to him how Jeongguk still manages to look so
pretty and soft in casual clothing like this.

“Uh, you there?” Jeongguk asks.

Taehyung swallows and he’s scrambling over towards the boy almost immediately. He guides him
throughout the remaining steps and if he notices how painfully hard his heart’s beating against his
chest, he doesn’t mind it.

“You look amazing, Jeongguk.”

“Taehyung, I’m literally… just in a hoodie and jeans. What is amazing about this?” he deadpans,
allowing Taehyung to lead him along. His steps are a bit clumsy, more tentative and careful since
he’s afraid he’s going to trip anytime.

It’s been a while since he had actually gone out of his house.

“You look amazing in anything. Even when you showed up in just your boxers.”

Jeongguk lifts his left hand up, patting his side and feeling Taehyung’s body underneath his palm.
Once he finds his arm, he lands a hard smack right onto it.

Taehyung groans in pain.

“You’re a fucking pervert, you know that?” But there’s no bite to Jeongguk’s tone and he’s
laughing along.

It’s hard, Jeongguk realizes. He feels like a burden to Taehyung as they walked through the city
and all the while, the boy had never let go of his arm. It’s not like he’s complaining but it feels like
he’s being babysat and he doesn’t like it.

Even when negative thoughts loiter around Jeongguk’s mind, Taehyung doesn’t seem to care about
guiding him along. He seems all too happy about being able to get this close to Jeongguk and
surprisingly enough, their little tour works.

Taehyung just has to describe his surroundings and it all comes to Jeongguk in a snap. He supplies
him with enough information and history about whatever it is they’re currently in, as if it was easy.
He does look like he’s been doing it a lot.

He may or may not have been tuning out what he’s saying, only focused on Jeongguk.

He’s focused on the way his eyes still stay so expressive. So, so expressive even when he knows
he’s blind.

He’s focused on the way his eyelashes flutter against his cheek every time he blinks.

He’s focused on the hairpin curve of his lips, the way he talks so animatedly about his
surroundings even with the fact that he can’t see them.

He’s focused on the way the sun lights up the side of his features. It makes him glow.

It’s still too early to tell but-

-but Taehyung’s falling in love.

“Why are you staring at me like that?”

The question catches Taehyung off guard and the umbrella he’s leaning his chin on slips from
underneath his touch. He blinks and stares at Jeongguk, his cheeks tinted red. “Um… you can see
me?”

Jeongguk grins, eyes fixed straight ahead. On his lap, his fingers fumble with each other and he can
feel the butterflies in his stomach start to form. “Nope. I was just guessing,” he admits, a chuckle
slipping from his throat.

Taehyung blushes even more at the realization that he had been caught staring, by a blind person,
nonetheless. Was he this obvious?

“I wasn’t staring. You’re just thinking too much into this,” he defends himself.

“I know I’m right. You’re not usually this quiet, you know.” Jeongguk looks smug and Taehyung
relents, as he always does when it comes to him.

By the window, the night lights flitter past them in a blur of colors. There’s the small vibration
seeping through the seats every once in a while. They’re on a train back to their neighborhood after
having visited Otaru.

It takes a few more minutes until Taehyung gets up from his place and he sits down beside
Jeongguk. The boy blinks in surprise but he manages to keep his composure. The stick he has stays
by his side, propped up against the wall of the train.

Taehyung slips his hand inside his pocket and he fishes out the little music box he had bought from
a souvenir shop during the tour. It’s a tiny ornament, the handle adorned with gold linings. He
leans down until his head’s levelled with that of Jeongguk’s. “Do you love music boxes?” he asks.

Jeongguk raises his eyebrows at the question. “Yeah. They’re soothing. A bit creepy sometimes,
though.”

“We share the same sentiment, don’t worry.” Taehyung laughs and he grabs the little handle by the
side, spinning it slowly. “But these types are my favorite music boxes, where you have to roll it
just to get the music to play.”

Jeongguk hums to show that he’s listening.

“Because, like life, there are things you have to work hard for before you get them,” Taehyung
adds. The spinning stops. He lets go.

The music plays.

It’s a soft and distant tune but it has Jeongguk closing his eyes, reveling at how something can
sound so eerie and beautiful at the same time. Taehyung holds the music box in between them as it
continues to play.

Somewhere in the silence between them, save for the melody echoing against the walls of their
booth in the train, Taehyung can feel his chest constrict. It has him keening for a moment but as
easy as it had come, it disappears in a flash.

He knows what it is.

“And touchdown!” Taehyung exclaims once they reach their street. Jeongguk’s holding onto his
arm and he turns to where he can hear the boy’s voice. He takes the stick from his hand and he
holds onto it, shifting from foot to foot. He waits for him to say his goodbyes. “You have arrived at
your destination.”

“…Thank you for today, Taehyung,” Jeongguk mumbles, a shy smile adorning his lips. “I- really.
You don’t understand how that meant to me. It feels like I got my old life back, even just for a day.
And I haven’t been out of the house for so long so t-thank you.”

Taehyung licks at his lips and he’s returning the same smile. He can’t help but hold a hand up and
ruffle Jeongguk’s hair messily. “No need to sound so gloomy. And who says this is only going to
happen for today? We can go out on more trips like this as much as you’d like.”

Jeongguk lets out a noise of protest and he reaches up fix his hair back. “I don’t want to burden you
or any-”

“You’re not burdening me if I’m the one suggesting it, oh my god.” Taehyung laughs but there’s an
exasperated tone in his voice. Jeongguk can just imagine he’s rolling his eyes right now.

There’s a few seconds where they just awkwardly stand in front of each other, as if they’re waiting
for something to happen.

“Thank you for today too,” Taehyung says, rubbing the nape of his neck. He’s mulling over what
to say and he knows just how much his hands are sweating right now. “You know, I really think
we click.”

“What are you even saying?” There’s that tingle again in the pit of Jeongguk’s stomach. It makes
him feel giddy inside and he finds himself on the tip of his toes, waiting for whatever it is
Taehyung’s hinting at.

“That I think we click. We really have a lot of similar…”

“Similar?” Jeongguk prods.

“…ities,” Taehyung finishes lamely.

The younger of the two ends up laughing and he knows he does that a lot these days. Taehyung’s a
fun person to be around. Reaching over, he pats at the boy’s hand before turning, his walking stick
held out so he can gauge if there’s anything blocking his way.

“Good night, Taehyung.”

“Aren’t you going to invite me in? Maybe even just at your porch?” Taehyung watches Jeongguk
leave. He doesn’t make any move to stop him, though. He’s just really saying this in a weak
attempt to keep the night from ending. “We can talk about weird shit under the stars. Sounds
romantic, right?”

“Good night, Taehyung,” Jeongguk repeats, grabbing the knob of his door. On autopilot, he opens
it, waves blindly to where he assumes the other boy is, and gets inside. He doesn’t notice how
much he’s grinning to himself.

By the looks of it, he and Taehyung are exactly on the same page.

The next tour they set up happens a week later. Taehyung brings Jeongguk over to the Fushimi
Shrine.

They hadn’t gotten out of touch but Taehyung’s frequent offers of food have lessened a bit since
his work’s starting to turn more demanding His night shifts are riddled with errands and chores.
He’s not exactly in the right position to refuse.

Jeongguk doesn’t mind. He knows Taehyung has his own life to live too but he’s not going to lie
when he says that he kind of misses him.

Kind of.
Maybe more?

He can’t tell.

“What did you wish for?” Taehyung asks him once they settle down on a flight of stairs. He takes
Jeongguk’s hand and helps him sit beside him. Right in front of where they’re seated are multiple
red pillars, all lined up to perfection. He almost brings it up but he remembers that, to Jeongguk,
everything is still pitch black.

“I didn’t really wish for anything.”

Taehyung’s eyebrow raises up in curiosity and he turns to look at the latter, staring at his side
profile. Jeongguk’s looking off into the distance and he can see how he’s fumbling with his
fingers, a habit he seems to have whenever he’s thinking about something deeply. Maybe he does it
too whenever he’s nervous.

“Why not?”

“It would hurt more if you had wished for something, only to not have it come true,” Jeongguk
explains, shrugging. “Your wish turns pointless then.”

“I don’t think it’s bad to keep a little bit of hope sometimes. It’s what keeps some people grounded,
you know.”

“I know that. This is just how I view things in particular.”

Taehyung chews on his bottom lip and it turns quiet right after that. Jeongguk stays in the same
position by his side, his hand resting on the concrete. He gulps.

It’s a spur of the moment when he decides to take Jeongguk’s hand in his. It catches the boy off
guard momentarily but he’s relaxing soon enough. He doesn’t lace their fingers together but he
doesn’t push him away either.

The wind blows through them.

“Aren’t you going to ask me why I’m blind, Taehyung?”

Taehyung lolls his head back, eyes closed.

“Wasn’t interested,” he replies, only to clarify it quickly. The boy might have taken his words the
in the wrong way. “I didn’t want to come off as if I was probing.”

The younger laughs inwardly. “Well, I turned blind right after I saw my boyfriend with someone
else. A pretty fucked up way to go, huh? Went out with a bang.”

Taehyung’s eyes snap open and he sputters, looking at Jeongguk as if he was scandalized at such a
thought. “You’re shitting me.”

“I promise I’m not. Temporary blindness, the doctor had said,” he informs, shaking his head. “I’ll
eventually get my sight back soon but… if this lasts longer, chances are slim.”

“…Oh.” Taehyung purses his lips. “He’s an ass then. He doesn’t know what he’s missing out on.”

“I threw away my Timberlands because of that.”

“I can buy you a new pair of Timberlands.”

Jeongguk cracks up and he turns his hand over in Taehyung’s. He finally laces their fingers
together, completely unaware of how much the other boy’s gaping at their digits interlocked. He
gives it a small squeeze. “What? Like some sort of sugar daddy? Is that what you’re saying?”

“Less sugar, more daddy.”

“You’re really a pervert. Why do I put up with you?”

They’re at Shikisai Hill a couple days later. Jeongguk’s sitting on the fence and Taehyung’s way
up above the stairs, a large distance in between them. There’s a plethora of flowers surrounding
them—from yellow sunflowers, orange marigolds, lavenders, and roses. They’re all organized in
shades and they bow down to wherever the wind blows.

The younger’s tapping his walking stick onto the pavement unconsciously, holding up a rhythm.
He shivers sometimes. The thin coat he has on isn’t enough to keep him warm.

“Hey, Taehyung,” he starts, back slouched. “Have you ever experienced winter?”

“Of course I did,” Taehyung replies coolly, noting how Jeongguk’s fists are balled up. “You were
cold as ice when we first met.”

Jeongguk snorts and he holds his middle finger up at Taehyung’s direction, flipping him off. The
elder scoots close to where he’s sitting silently, careful not to let him know that they’re practically
only inches apart now. He licks at his lips and, slowly, his arms wrap around his shivering figure.

“Taehyung…” Jeongguk says warningly, but there’s a hint of a smile on his lips so who’s to say
that he isn’t enjoying this? “I have a stick in my hand.”

“When does summer come so you’ll finally warm up to me?” Taehyung whispers into his ear, still
hugging Jeongguk without a care. He ignores the baseless threat, chin resting on his shoulder and
clinging onto him for dear life.

Jeongguk knows that Taehyung is adorable, in every way possible. He can deduce it just from the
way he latches onto him and honestly, he’s not going to object. He likes the contact between them;
he likes how Taehyung initiates it every time.

“Weather forecast says it might not be that far ahead,” Jeongguk retorts, an arm coming up to wrap
around Taehyung’s waist. “I have reliable sources.”

“Jimin would love to meet you,” Jeongguk says, hunched over a hot bowl of ramen in his house.
Taehyung sits across from him, chopsticks in hand and slurping noisily at the noodles. He had
finally invited him inside on a condition that he doesn’t try to do anything funny (“I’m a man of
virtue. What are you saying?” Taehyung had retaliated.)
Taehyung holds a hand up, as if to tell Jeongguk to wait because he can’t really talk right now
when his mouth’s stuffed with food. He chews and swallows it down. “Who’s Jimin?”

“My best friend,” he replies, putting the chopsticks down. His fingers trail over the surface of the
table, looking for his glass of soda. It almost topples over but Taehyung’s quick to react. “…
Sorry.”

“You should have told me you were thirsty. I could have given it to you.”

Jeongguk just shrugs it off and he says a small ‘thanks’, taking the glass from Taehyung’s hand.
He brings it up to his lips and he sips.

The only thing that can be heard throughout the space of Jeongguk’s house is the unsavory
slurping of Taehyung and his noodles. He wrinkles his nose up in feign disgust, not touching his
chopsticks.

“You must love how no one cares here in Japan if you eat as noisy as this, don’t you?”

“Yeah, people actually take it as a compliment,” Taehyung agrees. “Dream life.”

On days when Taehyung isn’t able to drop by Jeongguk’s house in the early morning, he makes it
up to him with these ‘ramen dates’, as he so fondly calls it. Nothing screamed romance as loud as
having instant noodles at midnight.

He’s more than ready to sweep Jeongguk off of his feet with some wallet-friendly budget food.

“Who the fuck has time to put cabbage in their noodles?” Jeongguk’s complaining again, chewing
onto the vegetable. His eyebrows are furrowed and Taehyung almost laughs at the expression on
his face.

“I do. They say eating cabbage makes you happy.”

“Why would you even put that in here?” he grumbles.

“Because I want you to be happy.”

Taehyung doesn’t have the chance to follow up because there’s that sting in his chest again,
fleeting but painful. He drops his chopsticks and he brings his hand to his chest in an instant. He
rubs over the spot in an attempt to soothe it.

Jeongguk doesn’t see anything. He’s just smiling, all the fake annoyed looks he had put up earlier
now gone.

He doesn’t notice the discomfort on Taehyung’s features.

How can he?

“But I already am.”

Mount Moiwa is the last thing they get to tick off their list, concluding this little tour Taehyung
had set up. It’s night time. The whole viewing deck is dark all over except for the lights by the side
and the lantern smack in the middle of a triangular frame. A bell hangs where the points intersect
and he carefully guides Jeongguk underneath it with him.

“Do you know this place?” Taehyung asks, standing in front of the younger. “We’re in some sort
of triangle and there’s a bell above you.”

“Fortune Bell?” Jeongguk supplies with a grin. He’s nodding, looking excited at being back here.
“God, it’s been so long since I’ve last been here. I can only remember bits of it but I was totally
wasted one night and I ended up ringing this bell ten times. I was in a bunny costume.”

“That’s a pretty specific number you remember for someone who got wasted.” Taehyung reaches
over and brushes Jeongguk’s bangs away from his eyes. He doesn’t flinch away anymore, nor does
he jump in surprise. Having been with Taehyung for so long only means that he had already gotten
used to his little quirks and habits.

In this case, he knows he likes touching.

“That was the night my ex and I were supposed to celebrate our anniversary. I was dressed up in
the silliest costume ever because that was… how we met. Me in a bunny outfit. Him in some sort
of cosplay regalia.” Jeongguk doesn’t feel any pain when he talks about him; he can only feel
anger and distaste at having been fooled. Eventually, he had to let bygones be bygones. “Anyways,
I rang this bell ten times because I didn’t want to do anything r-rash.”

He leans forward, forehead dropping down to rest on Taehyung’s shoulder. “Ten counts, Tae. Ten
deep breaths. Ten counts before you do something you’d regret.”

Whoever Jeongguk’s ex is, Taehyung wants to punch him in the face. “Let’s ring this bell ten
times then,” he says in determination. The younger lifts his head up and he feels warm hands cup
over his cold ones. “Ten counts for a new start.”

It’s hard to breathe.

Taehyung’s hold on his is gentle and he guides them up to the rope hanging off of the bell. He
wraps his fingers around it and waits for the signal. “We’ll do it together.”

Jeongguk can’t see Taehyung but Taehyung can see Jeongguk. He can see the adoration and
fondness in his eyes. He feels like melting into a puddle right then and there.

“Ready-

-set,-

-go.”

They ring the bell ten times.

Ten to let go.

Ten for a new start.

Their hands bump into each other clumsily but they’re caught in the moment between them.
Taehyung gets drunk on Jeongguk’s laughter and his hands come to rest on his waist.

As soon as the younger’s hands fall from the rope, Taehyung dives in for a kiss. It completely
catches Jeongguk off guard and he’s stumbling from the shock until a hand loops around his back
to keep him from falling.

Taehyung keeps him steady and Jeongguk turns into putty in his arms. He closes his eyes and steps
closer.

His vision is black but the kiss makes colors explode behind his eyelids. All too suddenly, he can
see small hints of blues, yellows, and reds. Taehyung’s lips are chapped against his but he doesn’t
care, he doesn’t care, he doesn’t care.

The kiss feels like a million promises.

The kiss tastes like the next sixty years of his life.

Count to ten. Change is slow,

But Jeongguk can feel it taking shape.

“How do you know if you’re in love?” Jeongguk asks Taehyung right after they come out from
under the Fortune Bell. His lips are still tingling from their kiss and he knows he’s smiling too
much.

Taehyung’s holding his hand, a padlock in between their palms. He had scribbled their name onto
the paper and they’re just about to hook it over on the railing. “I’d like to think about feeling in
love if the last moment always counts.”

“You can do better than that, Tae.”

They click the lock in place together. Jeongguk takes the key before Taehyung can and he slips it
into his pocket. It’s tradition to throw it out into the sky but Jeongguk’s a sucker for memorabilia
and he wants to keep anything about the elder close to him, close to his heart.

Taehyung makes a show of sighing in an exaggerated manner. He hooks an arm around Jeongguk’s
shoulders and pulls him close, their bodies touching. “It’s like this, Guk. You know when you pee,
right? The feeling of love is in that last drop—boop!” He holds a hand out to the sky, as if the latter
can even see his actions.

“That tingle that wracks through your body and makes you shiver is exactly how I think love feels
like.” There’s a smug grin on Taehyung’s lips, as if he had just solved the world’s greatest
mystery.

“Is that… how you feel when you’re with me?” Jeongguk asks, tone hesitant.

“Most definitely.”

Jeongguk pulls Taehyung down, lips blindly searching for the other’s. He manages to land one on
his cheek but the elder takes pity. He turns his head and seals the night with a kiss that lingers for a
bit too long.
 *

Jeongguk’s huddled in Taehyung’s couch, curled up right into the crevice of his arms. Taehyung
thinks he fits perfectly, as if they’re two missing puzzle pieces that had managed to find their way
back together. There are empty cans of beer on the coffee table in front of them and he’s slightly
buzzed.

He can feel Jeongguk trace small circles onto his clothed stomach. It tickles but he makes no move
to pull away.

“What do you look like, Tae?”

“Does it matter?” he hums.

The younger shakes his head, shifting and getting comfortable. He lifts his head up so it rests in the
crook of Taehyung’s neck. He can breathe in his scent from here and it makes him feel
lightheaded. “No, of course not,” he mumbles. “It would be nice to be able to imagine a face to the
one I love, of course.”

“My face is… nothing special. Nothing that would benefit the world, really.”

“Well, it would benefit mine.”

Taehyung grins and he pulls away, ruffling Jeongguk’s hair in the process. He pats at his thigh,
motioning for him to turn so they’re sitting, facing each other. Jeongguk’s eyes are flitting around
the room, relying on his hearing so he knows where he is. “Are you saying I’m your world now,
Guk? You’re such a sap,” he coos, pinching at his cheeks.

“I’m not a kid,” Jeongguk whines, expression contradicting his words. “It’s not fair that you know
what I look like and I don’t know anything about you.”

The elder just chuckles and he seems to think about something first. He clears his throat after a few
moments and he scoots, closing the space left in between them. Their knees are touching and he
takes Jeongguk’s hands in his. “Okay. I’ll give you an idea.” He brings his hands to his face.

Jeongguk’s tentative, at first. His fingers land on smooth skin and it strikes him that this is the only
time he’s getting to touch Taehyung’s face. He has an awed look on his features and his palms
make contact with his cheeks. He might be enjoying it a bit too much as he feels up and down,
actions playful. It reminds Taehyung that Jeongguk is still young. Younger than him, at least.

Taehyung purses his lips and he slaps Jeongguk’s thigh. “You’re having too much fun with this. Be
serious.”

Jeongguk giggles in response and he says a quick “Mkay” before he’s getting to work. He focuses
all of his attention on what he’s feeling with his fingertips, starting over from the top.

“I think you have really nice eyebrows.” He feels over the hair, thumbs smoothing them down.
There’s a sated smile on Jeongguk’s lips but all Taehyung can register in his mind is how close
they are right now.

He can feel Jeongguk breathing against his skin.

Pinches to his cheeks snap him out of his thoughts but he laughs along. It’s all worth it because
Jeongguk looks like a kid who got what he wanted for Christmas. He has champagne laced in his
voice and Taehyung wants to get drunk on his laughter.

“I think you have really strong features,” Jeongguk points out, feeling over the space between his
eyes. He squeezes the tip of his nose and he’s chuckling all over again, as if pleased with what’s
happening right now. “You have a pointy nose. A really high one, at that.”

“Bingo.”

A thumb brushes over his lips and Taehyung can feel his breath quicken with just the slightest
touch on it from the younger. He has this effect on him; he always does. “You have… thick lips.”
Another giggle. “I want to say that they’re kissable.”

“Because they are? Do you want a refresher?”

Jeongguk ignores his question, clutching at Taehyung’s face and squeezing at his cheeks again. He
looks elated and he’s grinning so brightly. The light catches onto his face and it feels as if the air’s
being knocked out of his chest, but in a good way.

Jeongguk is beautiful. Always.

“I have a feeling that you’re really handsome, Tae,” Jeongguk exclaims, excitement laced in the
tone of his voice. “Like, I feel that I’m going to see a celebrity when I get my vision back!”

“Oh my god, you’re really blind,” Taehyung mumbles, low enough that the younger wouldn’t hear
it. He indulges him, though. He lets him continue feeling over his face until he’s satisfied. “You
should see your face too though.”

“Can’t exactly do that.”

“And I’d remind you.” Taehyung runs his fingers through Jeongguk’s hair, leaning down so that
their faces are levelled against each other. Jeongguk feels soft lips press against his forehead and he
sighs, liking the affectionate gesture.

“For the record, you have really nice eyebrows too.” Lips press on the space between them.

“And I love this, especially.” He feels a kiss on the tip of his nose. “Your nose is big but it goes
along well with everything, you get what I mean?”

Jeongguk has the urge to slap his knee but it dies down when finally—finally—Taehyung’s lips
press against his. He allows himself to revel in it instantaneously, hands clutching at his wrists and
pulling close as if he can’t get enough.

The kiss lasts longer than the one they shared on Mount Moiwa, right under the Fortune Bell. This
also feels much rawer, like there are different intentions behind it. Taehyung pulls away before it
can progress, remembering what he’s supposed to be doing earlier. “Your lips will always be my
favorite, right next to your eyes.”

“What about my eyes?” Jeongguk licks at his lips, a bit disappointed at how the kiss had ended so
abruptly. He doesn’t let Taehyung know though.

“They’re always so… expressive. You don’t seem to notice it but I could definitely get lost in
them, you know. As cliché as this may sound, they… sparkle.”

“U-uh, wow. Thank you… I guess?” Jeongguk’s cheeks are tinted red and he’s looking shy again.
“And I don’t care, really. I don’t care if you’re blind, whether this is just temporary or forever. It
doesn’t matter to me, okay?” Taehyung cups his cheek, fondling it ever so gently. “Guk, I know
how you wonder sometimes why I ‘settled’ on you. Please don’t think I did that just because I have
no one else to talk to. I didn’t ‘settle’ on you. I chose you. There’s a difference.”

“I… I… Okay, Tae. Okay. I’m sorry.”

“You know I love you,” Taehyung whispers. “I will only love you so once you get your sight back,
you have to promise that you’ll only see me too.”

Jeongguk feels stupid for tearing up but it just happens and he’s sniffling like a child. He lets the
elder wipe away at his tears and he nods, nods, nods. He rests his forehead against his and takes in
a deep breath before speaking up. “I promise. I love you too.”

Taehyung takes Jeongguk to bed that night. It also just… happens. One minute, the younger’s
crying right against his shoulder and the next, their lips are locked in a heated make out session.
Jeongguk is clumsy with his hands but the little noises that leave his lips are enough to spur him on
and he wants to hear more, more, more.

The thing with this is that Taehyung is awfully in love with Jeongguk. It’s not a graceful fall. He
had landed face first, scars and all. With bruised knees and scrape marks all over his skin. He does
this unapologetically. Loving.

No restraints, no take backs, no second thoughts.

To Taehyung, Jeongguk is no longer a passing melody. He’s no longer an excerpt of a song or a

poem. He is more than that and it had gotten to the point where he can’t think of the boy without
hiding behind metaphors and similes, just so he’d be able to describe him accurately enough.

Even now, as his lips trail down the expanse of Jeongguk’s skin, he’s still in awe. No class on
anatomy or figured had prepared him for the way he arches his back, beautiful and pliant in his
arms. So, so gorgeous. A gorgeous earthquake that had shaken him to his very core.

Jeongguk’s skin is a sea he has yet to explore. He wants to map out every crevice, all the islands
that litter his body. He wants to remember what makes him keen in pleasure and what makes him
lose his mind.

He wants to imprint his touches on Jeongguk’s very being until he can feel nothing else but the
way the tips of his fingers trail down his chest. He wants to leave traces of his lips on every patch
of skin he can find. He wants to leave marks that tingle right after so Jeongguk will remember that
he had been here.

Taehyung had been here.

He wants to erase every lonely night Jeongguk had ever experienced, when his company had been
nothing else but the dull ticking of the clock overhead. He wants to make him melt in his touch and
fall apart in his arms.

Taehyung would do everything Jeongguk’s ex-boyfriend didn’t have the courage to do. Like trust
him, keep him happy, make him feel loved. The list simply goes on.

The rest of Jeongguk’s clothes stick to his body like a broken promise. Taehyung strips all of his
frustration off, flinging them over the side of his bed and taking his place back on top of the
younger. Jeongguk’s eyes sparkle in the dark and he can see the nervousness on his face.

“I’ll take care of you, okay? Just lay back and enjoy.”

The disability of not being able to see anything amplifies everything else for Jeongguk. He feels
like he’s on cloud nine and his body’s shaking, fingers clutching at the sheets on either side of
him. They’re balled up in his fists as Taehyung works his way down his chest.

The temperature around the room’s too hot and they both lose themselves in the sounds that slip out
from their mouths. Taehyung’s lips trail down Jeongguk’s inner thigh, his legs parted and baring
himself completely to the man above him.

Take it. Take everything because it’s all yours.

The click of the lid of a bottle. The little squelch of the lube as Taehyung warms it up between his
digits.

Jeongguk’s legs are trembling and his toes curl at the feeling of cold fingers tracing the rim of his
hole. He doesn’t know what Taehyung’s going to do next so everything mostly takes him by
surprise. A digit prods at his hole and the next thing he knows, it’s sliding inside of him and fuck,
it’s a bit uncomfortable but it’s not that all unpleasant.

Taehyung’s pressing kisses onto his navel, his other hand feeling the way Jeongguk’s muscles shift
under his touches. The tip of his finger massages at his walls and he’s aware that his breathing’s
labored, mind zeroing in on how tight he is.

Taking in two digits become much more of an effort on Jeongguk’s part and his teeth are clenched
in an attempt to make the pain dull down faster. Taehyung is patient above him, kissing on every
expanse of skin he can plant his lips on just he can distract the younger and himself along in the
process. His own clothes are sticking onto his skin in a gross manner and the restrained erection in
his sweats is starting to hurt.

However, he can take anything as slow as possible as long as Jeongguk is comfortable.

Taehyung makes work of stretching his hole properly, fingers scissoring and curling so the actual
penetration won’t hurt that much. Or so he hopes. Jeongguk’s eyes are shut tight and he’s biting on
his lip to keep the noises he’s producing in.

“I want to hear you.”

“I-it’s embarrassing,” is all Jeongguk mumbles but he complies anyway, giving in to Taehyung’s
request. The sting of the stretch dulls down after a while and it has him wriggling his hips,
motioning for Taehyung to move along. “G-go, please. I want you.”

And who was Taehyung to deny Jeongguk of anything?

The fingers in his hole gets pulled out and he pulls the rest of his clothing off. The sound of a
wrapper tearing fills the room and Taehyung rolls the condom down onto his cock, hissing at the
sensation. He pours an ample amount of lube onto his palm and he strokes himself to full hardness.

Underneath him, Jeongguk is the same. The sounds he hear make him shiver in anticipation and he
licks at his lips. His chest heaves up and down quickly in an attempt to keep his composure.

He feels the head of Taehyung’s cock prod at his entrance and a moan involuntarily makes its way
out of his mouth.

“I’m going in.”

Jeongguk clutches onto Taehyung’s arms for dear life as he slides inside. The stretch burns and
he’s suddenly regretting not putting up a fuss when it was inevitable that he would be the one
taking it up the ass.

He’s pulling Taehyung close to his body, eliminating any distance between them because he wants
to feel him and oh God, he does feel him all the way inside as soon as he bottoms out. “G-Go-,
fuck, Tae,” he groans, words coming out incoherent. “S-s’big.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

Jeongguk doesn’t know what Taehyung’s apologizing for but the thought doesn’t linger around his
mind too much because he’s starting to move inside him. His breath hitches and he hooks his legs
around the elder’s waist, giving all of himself for Taehyung to just take.

He would let him do as he pleased.

“Baby, you’re beautiful. Fuck, you’re so, so beautiful. So tight too,” Taehyung says right above
him. His eyes are blown out in pleasure and he’s staring right down at Jeongguk, watching the way
he moans every time he snaps his hips forward. He sets up a rhythmic pace even when all he wants
to do is pound away into the delicious heat around him.

Jeongguk seems to be thinking the same thing. “M-move faster. Please.”

Taehyung’s more than happy to comply and he cups Jeongguk’s cheek with his hand, pulling him
into a deep kiss. He swallows down his moans when his pace picks up and he feels Jeongguk’s
nails dig more into his skin. It stings a little but it’s nothing compared to how amazing the younger
feels around him, walls now relaxed to pure perfection.

A particular different angle of Taehyung’s hips has Jeongguk throwing his head back and the sweat
coating his chest shines under the dim lighting of the bedroom. Taehyung stares, awed at the curve
of his body. His waist is slender and sensitive to the touch and he drinks everything in.

He’d keep this moment locked away in his mind forever.

Only he can see Jeongguk in a state such as this. Jeongguk can fall apart in his arms and Taehyung
would make sure to put him right back together in the end.

He starts thrusting to where Jeongguk’s prostate is and the boy’s a whimpering mess right now,
hair splayed out across the pillow and sticking to his forehead. He looks like sin and lust and desire
all in one person.

Taehyung doesn’t think he’d be able to get enough.

Jeongguk comes undone with a flick of his wrist and a few more thrusts, releasing into his hand
with a loud moan of something that closely resembled Taehyung’s name. He looks completely
fucked out and sated. Taehyung chases his own orgasm and follows not soon after.

They fall asleep in each other’s arms after a quick clean-up and there are tears falling from
Taehyung’s eyes right before he had slept.

He knows.

This love isn’t made to last.

However, he’s done bending to the will of time and this little condition he has with his heart won’t
stop him. He loves Jeongguk, in a sense that he can only speak and think of his name. Not anyone
else’s.

It’s not fatal. It’s not fatal. It’s not fatal.

But he can give in at any moment.

He doesn’t know what’s worse.

“Have you ever seen me dance, Tae?” Jeongguk asks, seated by the couch in Taehyung’s house.
He’s tipsy and if only he could see, everything would probably be swimming around him right
now. There are more cans of beers propped up on the table.

Taehyung’s in the same state but he’s able to comprehend whatever the younger’s saying. “No.
Are you going to show me?”

Jeongguk giggles, hiccupping and rubbing at his eyes. “I’m clumsy on my feet,” he informs him.
“But I used to dance whenever I had the time to. It’s a really good way to d-destress, you know.
Kind of a bummer that I can’t dance anymore because of this.” He points to his eye.

Taehyung scoffs. “It’s not like your feet are injured. You can still dance. Come on!”

He’s pulling Jeongguk up to his feet before he can protest and the younger lets out a yelp. “What
the fuck? I could have tripped!”

“I’m holding onto you. You’re not going to fall. Not on my watch.” There’s a stupid grin on
Taehyung’s lips and he reaches for his phone, putting his Spotify playlist on shuffle. “Let’s dance,
baby.”

“Only if I get to blindfold you. It’s not fair that you can see.”

That’s how they end up in the middle of Taehyung’s living room, a mess of limbs as they danced to
the beat of whatever song was playing currently on the device.

Taehyung is carefree and his arms wrap around Jeongguk’s waist. He pulls him close to his body
and they sway along to a screamo.

They’re not in their right minds to care.

But then again, were they ever?

 *

Taehyung is too energetic for his own good, Jeongguk thinks. They’re supposed to be resting right
now but the elder had taken a day off from work because he wants to take Jeongguk out for a walk,
whatever it is. He wants to protest against the wording because Taehyung makes him sound like a
dog.

Jeongguk can vaguely register the bustling noise around him and he can assume that they’re
walking in a busy street. He lets Taehyung lead him along, his stick just staying by his side
because he doesn’t need it right now.

Their date’s coming to an end and they’re on their way back home. He can feel Taehyung let go of
his hand and his fingers curl on instinct, as if trying to get the warmth back.

“Stay right here, Guk,” Taehyung suddenly says.

Jeongguk’s eyebrows furrow in confusion but he nods anyway. Taehyung always has shit tons of
things up his sleeve and this must be one of those. “Okay. Don’t take too long.”

Taehyung leaves his side and Jeongguk doesn’t know that he’s standing where the pedestrian lane
ends. The people continue walking by around him and he just stands still. He lets his stick rest onto
the pavement and he leans on it.

Ten.

Ten minutes. Or had it been five already?

The point is that Taehyung’s taking too long and Jeongguk isn’t exactly the most patient person in
the world. He doesn’t fare well with waiting.

He’s staring off to god knows where when a trickle of color invades his sight.

It’s a small hint of orange and Jeongguk narrows his eyes. Is this a hallucination? Was his mind
playing tricks on him?

But, like a knot undoing, the colors creep into his vision. The figures start to take shape.
Everything sharpens. It knocks the breath out of him and the stick in his hand drops down onto the
ground. His eyes are wide and he blinks.

Right in front of him is an intersection.

He peers down and looks at his shoes. They’re a pair of Timberlands but he knows these aren’t the
ones his ex-boyfriend had gotten him because these aren’t worn out.

They look fairly new.

This is all too much to take in and the colors swarming his vision is making his head hurt.

He can see. He can see. He can see. He can se-

“Jeongguk!”

He snaps his head up to the source of the voice and he stares. Across from him, on the other side of
the road, is none other than Taehyung. Kim Taehyung. He doesn’t realize how his eyes had turned
glassy and if he feels a teardrop trickle down his cheek, he doesn’t pay attention to it.

Because Kim Taehyung is standing right there.

And God, he is beautiful.

Beautiful with his hair pushed back into a black beanie. Beautiful with his eyes are turned up into
crescents. Beautiful with that square smile of his.

Beautiful.

All his.

Taehyung’s holding a bunny plush in his other hand and he’s holding it up, waving it in the air like
a madman. Jeongguk wipes at his eyes and he laughs. Hesitantly, he brings a hand up, waving right
back at the elder.

“Taehyung!”

It doesn’t sink in Taehyung’s mind at first but Jeongguk sees the multitude of emotions that flitter
across his features. Confusion, shock, recognition, realization. If it’s even possible, his smile gets
wider and he can see—he can see—the excitement. He can feel it all the way over here.

Taehyung takes a step.

But he falters.

He collapses on the ground.

Taehyung is Jeongguk’s favorites, all compiled into one body and form; a boy with messy hair,
who has a knack for getting fast food take-out at the break of dawn. He had learnt that he loves to
pour heaps of milk into his coffee and he insists that it takes away the bitterness of the caffeine and
Jeongguk wants to tell him sometimes that he should just have milk if that was the case. He loves
to leave his bed unmade because he doesn’t see the point in cleaning up when he’s just going to
wrinkle the sheets later at night anyway.

Taehyung is his favorite sunrise and his favorite sunset, despite this blackout. Jeongguk loves to
wake up to soft lips pressed against every inch of his skin and he basks in the affection, something
which the boy never ran out of. He also loves going to sleep with hushed whispers and choked out
moans, sweaty skin against sweaty skin and rough hands that map out the whole expanse of each
other’s bodies, as if everything was still uncharted territory.

On days when everything is quiet around them and they crave each other’s contact just simply as
that, he loves falling asleep with the boy right against his chest. The rhythmic beating of his heart
is enough assurance between them.

Taehyung is his favorite silence during these moments. It is the silence that doesn’t sit heavily in
the atmosphere. It is the silence that allows you to breathe comfortably without having to force
words out of your throat, words that aren’t laced with any meaning and words that aren’t just
thrown in the air with the whole intention of keeping up a conversation. No, this isn’t like that.

Breathe in, breathe out.

His whole world reduces to just the way their arms are wrapped around each other.

Taehyung is often loud at places where he should be quiet, quiet at places where he should be loud.
Understanding him is like trying to fit a puzzle piece into a corner where it doesn’t belong to but
Jeongguk has gotten the hang of him now. He had taken that puzzle piece with a pair of scissors
and cut it until it fits, until it’s perfect.

Taehyung is a puzzle piece where Jeongguk is sure he does not fit in but throughout the days they
had been together, he had molded himself to someone that is perfect for him.

Taehyung represents all the colors in one, cranked up at full brightness. Although all Jeongguk can
see is black, black, black, he can’t help but sometimes see almost every color whenever they’re
with each other.

Taehyung is yellow.

Jeongguk had grown to love yellow because of him.

Taehyung is the name you would find in a thesaurus, listed right next to beauty, adoration, love.

Love.

Jeongguk loves Taehyung.

Because to Jeongguk, Taehyung deserves the best and he deserves all the love he can possibly
give. He deserves the universe and if he could, he would rearrange all the stars littering space and
pull them down to where he is only if it means that it could make him happy.

Because to Jeongguk, Taehyung is nothing less of a voice. He is concrete. He is solid. He is so, so

real. He is all his.

Because to Jeongguk, Taehyung is every beautiful metaphor one can ever think of.

Because to Jeongguk,

Taehyung is home.

“His heart stopped. I’m sorry, Guk.”

Jeongguk would rather stay blind forever if only it means that Taehyung would still be by his side.
 *

Jeongguk doesn’t deserve any of this. He doesn’t deserve all the sick games life keeps throwing in
his way. He doesn’t deserve feeling miserable like this. He doesn’t deserve getting his lover torn
away from him so abruptly.

Just like that.

The pain paws at his lungs, rendering it hard to breathe. His heart feels like it’s been ripped to
shreds. He’s numb. Any negative adjective ever present in the dictionary can describe his state
right now.

In the grand scheme of things, everything falls apart in the end.

There are no ‘what-if’s’ here. There is no punchline, no possibility that Taehyung would magically
come back to life. There is no plot twist, no end note, and no disclaimer that for once, it all goes
the way Jeongguk would like it to.

It is simply that.

The conclusion is that Jeongguk is a loser.

There’s a knock on his door and for a second, he hopes that it’s Taehyung. He hopes that
everything had been a silly prank and he’d come prancing inside with his obnoxious voice and his
cringey jokes.

The door swings open and he remembers he had forgotten to lock it.

He may very well be better off blind.

“Jeongguk, I’m so sorry.”

He just stares at the ceiling above, eyes fixed on the white wall. Jimin’s voice echoes around the
room and the next thing he knows, he’s being pulled into a big hug.

“I’m really, really sorry. Taehyung was a great man.”

Jeongguk’s bottom lip quivers and for the first time since Taehyung’s death, he cries.

Jeongguk finds himself back at Mount Moiwa a week later. He’s standing alone under the Fortune
Bell and everything is background noise to him. The rope taunts him from above and he scoffs.

This is the only way he can cope.

He takes a deep breath and reaches for his pocket.

He fishes out a handkerchief and he folds it up into a strip.

He wraps it around his eyes and his whole world blacks out yet again.

One.

Taehyung has one mole on his nose. The elder had pointed it out during some random conversation
and he doesn’t really know what significance the mark has that it had been mentioned specifically.

He would have loved to see it for himself.

Two.

He only has two photos of Taehyung in his phone. They’re both selfies and in each one, the boy’s
flashing that square smile he had seen back at the intersection.

Three.

He only had sex with Taehyung three times.

Four.

Taehyung has four cookbooks at his place. As Jeongguk had thumbed through them, he realizes
most of them are what he had offered him to eat.

Five.

Taehyung loves the number ‘five’. He says it serves as some sort of a middle ground for
everything.

Jeongguk didn’t really understand him.

Six.

Taehyung’s job usually starts at around six p.m.

Seven.

He and Taehyung had been able to down seven bottles of beer together on a particular rainy day.

The blindfold’s damp against his eyes.

Eight.

Taehyung has eight berets in his closet, all of different colors.

Nine.

They hold their occasional ramen dates at nine p.m.

Ten.

He had struck the bell ten times with Taehyung here.

Count to ten.

Ten for a new start, ten for better days.

 He reaches for the rope above him and he strikes the bell.

His vision is dark and Taehyung had kissed him at the tenth ring. Right at this very spot.

He feels.

End Notes

and that's a wrap. thank you guys for sticking with me through the end. this was so long and
i am emotionally drained. i have no feelings right now. this is currently unbeta-ed so i'll go
back to edit some mistakes if there are any.
comment are greatly appreciated. lots of love.
edit (2/25/19): i KNOW i’m super bad with replying to comments but i want to let everyone
know that i read everything and i’ve never been so happy that this was received so well. i’m
sorry for making you all guys cry shdhd. but thank you so much!!!

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