Female 1: Okay, so this meeting is being recorded. And do I have your consent to record this?

Male 1: Yes, absolutely.

Female 1: Okay, so I was very interested about you pseudonym, I want to know, how do you come up
with a pseudonym Itachi.

Male 1: Itachi is a name, which is of my, what my favorite characters on the show called Naruto. So that
guy sort of like stays in the shadows and help the entire village and like, sacrificed his entire life for the
future of his brother. So that's what touched me. And he was one of the strongest characters, and he
always tried to be the villain, but you're actually the antihero. The hero. Like who never really got the
spotlight.

Female 1: So do you feel your identity in any way relates to Itachi?

Male 1: Um, I guess to my sister, it does. Because the kind of relationship I have with my sister, it’s sort
of like, she feels at times I think that it’s overwhelming for her. Maybe because, because the kind of
person I am. And you know, like, always, people are telling me be like a brother on that. So so I can sort
of feel it a little bit. So I know, like, maybe- maybe I don’t know that. But maybe if somewhere down the
line, she might think a bit overwhelmed. And the-the fact that she can’t be yourself completely, because
of the fact what I’ve done and what I’m doing. So I can understand as a kid, you might feel a bit, because
I felt that similarly, you know, when I was a kid, and there were incidents within my life. So I can only
relate. That’s why I’d be like, you know quiet. If you want I can help otherwise you know I won’t
(chukles)

Female 1: And how did you realize that you have a cross cultural identity? When did you come to
realize that rather?

Male 1: It was actually, when I go to school, rather, I would say that because my name was Peculiar. But
in school, I felt normal. Like, like, it was absolutely fine. Because I was from a general school. So- so it
wasn’t exactly out of the blue it was fine, a lot of Anglo Indians from, like, my community people there.
So, yeah, so-so it was just that,

Female 1: How do you know it was peculiar? I mean, what made you feel that way? When did
someone specifically come and tell you anything?

Make 1: But that started to happen when- when I was moving out of where I moved into college, or, as I
was growing up, and my, my, my, my spaces, as you know, this entire thing says, it’s sort of expanded
from just school, and you know, like, like, school, campus and church campus. And you know, when I
started going on in public occasions, and everything, and when people started asking me, Okay, so
what’s your name? So the name itself was sort of like raised eyebrows. So what’s your real name? I still
get that. So what’s your real name? I’m like, that is my real name. You’ll see my Aadhar card. So yeah, so
that’s a joke. I generally go for like, you- you want a scanned copy from other collectors. There. So- so
and yeah, that’s pretty much it. So- so as soon as I got out of the set, sort of places where people had an
idea about my community, or my culture, that’s when the questions start coming, you know, like, okay,
so why do you have this name? So who are you, where are you from this that so what’s your history? So,
it was nice to be like, first it was difficult for me, because I wasn’t that social to begin with. But later on,
I saw like, like the attention the center of attention everywhere I go, so I saw like, enjoy that.
Female 1: So it was good intent, good attention rather, you never felt negative in any way.

Male 1: No, no, not exactly.

Female 1: Okay. So when people see you do talking about all this in relation to your Anglonian entity,
but you come from Parents background that is from two contrasting cultures. So when did you realize
that?

Male 1: When did I realize that-

Female 1: The parents belong to like two different cultures and your identity is influenced as a result
of that.

Make 1: I, for me, I realized that because my mom used to speak in Bengali and not my house, and I took
up my second language has been really, throughout school. So what- what happened was, I was like, I
was curious to know about the Bengali culture as well. So-so when it started, I would say it started
when, you know, when I was in school, and I need to, and I was very bad writing essays. Okay. So there
was a show, I think you know it still runs and I even mentioned during this while I was filling up, it was
Sunday, suspense, okay. So what they do is that they pull out horror stories from Bengali literature’s and
they used to, like recite it as an audio story. So every night I used to, not- not every weekend like
Saturday- Sunday used to air I guess now they have just reduced it to Sunday nights. - so every weekend
I usually listen to that story because some of it sort of helped me to like increase my vocabulary in
Bengali and sort of like understand how to write two essays. So that was my journey into my mom’s side
of the culture. Okay. And my dad's side of the culture like, like, an Anglo Indian was- was basically
influenced, was, like, I got to know that because my dad used to tell our story about this that. And after
that, then there was school, then there was school friends, and then there was a church. So, so there I
got to know a lot about my dad's side of it, but my mom’s side of it, like literally exactly the Bengali
community, I got to know from basically literature and exam.

Female 1: So when- when you hit you that you know, you do not belong to actually one culture, but
you belong to both when- when did that kind of epiphany moment with you?

Make 1: When I moved to college, so when I moved to college, and, and then obviously college was, I
was like a rare species in college. They have never seen anyone before and then die like so. So when
they sort of like, and when I should speak in Bengali, like the transition from English to Bengali was so
smooth. Like in my case, like, they were like, wait, how can you speak Bengali so well? And how do we
even know about so many things? Especially I used to know about the stories they have in their
scriptures, which is Mahabharata and Ramayana because we had that in our Bengali syllabus. So those
stories are used to say that yeah, I understand the reference. And like me, what how? So I liked that flex,
because I was like, the best of both worlds. So yes, and now thinking. Now remember, there was
actually a negative time I would say, like, you mentioned that was there any negative time where the
community felt sort of threatened? Like, like, like my anger itself, which was a threatened. And I would
say, and it’s sad that it comes from someone from my own community, actually. So there was this
teacher in my, in eighth grade, there was this biologic teacher. And she was she was a Catholic, which,
like, I understand that, like, her, I can’t mention her name, because obviously. So know what happened.
She said, I think I was very bad biology. Back in seventh grade, I think, yeah, it was seventh grade. So she
directly stood me up in front of class and told me, Charles, you’re getting scores like 40 and 50, you’re
just wasting a seat in the school. And you’re wasting the sort of like, you shouldn’t be, you shouldn’t be
getting the sponsor and the helps which you’re getting. And as a Catholic student when you are just
wasting the seat, and everything and everything, like I mean, as a kid, I think seventh eighth grade marks
don’t really matter, because you can’t decide, you know, like, what a kid is going to be, especially on the
seventh and eighth and, and if you really want to motivate someone, I don’t think as a primary school
teacher, you should be saying that in front of everyone. So anyway, so but that’s the thing. So the fact
that it hit me in a different way. And what I did was I took it as a challenge. So in my next semester, and
she- she was my teacher from class, sixth grade till 10 th grade, I think the last time I had biology, and she
was my teacher constant. So eighth grade, I sort of like showed- showed, I doubled, I went from 40 to
85-89, something like that, directly. And when I was getting my first unit tests, like, like, we had a small
exam, so that time she told me actually got from -from four or five, I directly got like 10 or nine or
something like that. Okay. And then she was like, Did you cheat? So that sort of hurt my ego. Okay. So if
you see someone improving also, so you doubt the capabilities. Okay. All right. Okay, so my next target
was, okay, fine and fine. Will figure out in finals (laughs) So- so when finals came, that also went really
well. So after that, that’s when I started sort of, like sort of neglecting or completely like, like, I know,
that was bad. And that’s why I sort of developed this ego. I mean, I’ve also mentioned this big fat ego I
have at times that, okay, I’m better, especially when someone is very bad to me. And then when I show
it to them, they don’t talk to me. So, so ever since that time, I was very, like-like, like, whenever I had
her class, I used to sit in the back bench and not sort of, like take notes on everything. And, and she saw
that she she understood that I was bogged down with, you know, like short word without help, I can do
better.

Female 1: And this- this was happening to you in a Christian school by virtue of your Christian identity.

Male 1: From a Catholic teacher (Chuckles) That’s absurd, like I understand if it’s from a different
community, I understand that. Thank you. But but-but it was absurd. So I was like, Okay, anyway. So-

Female 1: Before this, you refer to yourself as a race species in college?

Male 1: Yeah. Right.

Female 1: So how did you kind of react or respond to people asking questions to you? I mean, did you
did you show them your Aadhar card, as you mentioned earlier? Or how did you kind of defend your
variation? In that sense.

Male 1: In college, first of all, I felt really bad for the people who couldn’t pronounce my name. So I just
told them, just call me Peter. It’s fine. Just call me Peter. If you’re having difficulty, just call me Peter. So-
so especially the professors, they were very curious about my ancestry and what’s the story behind
that? So-so whenever there was like, like, whenever there is a new teacher coming into the class, so
they will all they will always spend 5-10 minutes knowing my ancestry and story that’s, that felt nice
because it was sort of like do curious about our culture. And I was representing my culture and my
community in my college and so it felt nice to share the story and let everybody know and especially in
my college where, where people have no idea about what Anglo Indians are, who they are, what they
do, and why do they have such names? So, according to them, they used to think that we just kept the
name because we felt it fancy. So yeah, so- so I told them the exact story, what was how we came to be
and everything. And so, yes, college I never really faced anyone who was like, who was- was one who
are negative towards the community or something like that. But- but there were medicine shops. And
like I mentioned that I used to go to local medicine shops and everything. And you know, when they’ve
used to ask my name for the bill, I usually selected just like Peter, that’s all just write Peter that’s all.
Write Peter that’s all.

Female 1: You ever tried mentioning your full name and seeing the reaction?

Make 1: Actually, once I did when I was a kid, but I had to spell it out every single letter of itself, like,
okay, and I’m too lazy. So I’ll just like just write Peter. It’s also just Peter, just right, Peter, it’s, it’s easier
for them, it’s easier for me. So yeah.

Female 1: Did you ever ask your parents more about their respective cultures? Because they belong to
two different worlds, right? And you were kind of navigating the middle path? So did you ever go and
ask your parents more about their own respective cultures in a way to kind of help you learn more
about the entity-

Male 1: I felt for my dad, and I never had to ask him because he was always talking about it. Whenever
he got, he was under the influence, let’s just say that. So he was always proud and boasting about it. So-
so, so so he was very happy about and, and most of it, and I believe, whatever I hear from my parents, I
like, like, I’m a person who sort of like collects data from everyone. And after that, analyze that, and
after that, you know, I sort of like, okay, so this is what it is. So, I don’t really sort of like your former
parents, and then that is written in stone. So that’s why I sort of, like, from my parents, I got to know the
basic idea of whatever the community was. And apart from that, I always used to rely on videos or a lot
of people who are like living that sort of life or the stories or listen for online content, whatever, you
know, whatever is available. So from there, I understood, okay, so this is the entire thing all about.

Female 1: So when- when, when you collect information from all sources, other than what your
parents have said, did you realize that there was something that your parents perhaps were not
telling you, but you kind of figure it out?

Male 1: No, that was not. There wasn’t anything like that? Yeah.

Female 1: Yeah. Did you ever come to know anything more about your identity much later on in life
that was not told to you by your parents? But you learn through experiences?

Make 1: Okay. Oh, my dad did tell me about the fact that you know, like, like, like, we are generally
stereotyped into a certain box, you know, like Christians in general Christians, Anglo Indian, specifically
that, you know, they are just party people, they don’t do create in like career or something like that,
like, no judge because someone likes to enjoy the life 100% doesn’t really mean like, they are specifically
designed for that. So that sort of stereotyping I realized that later on in life, especially when that teacher
incident happened, it sort of solidified Okay. Wow, people actually think like that. So, so ever since that
day, I sort of like realized, okay, then I will be that outlier.

Female 1: But when you Sorry. Yeah, continue?

Male 1: No, no, go on.

No, no. What are you saying something? No, no problem.

Make 1: No, no. So that’s it, like, you know, so I wouldn’t be the outlier. And that’s what I realized that
my dad told me back in when I was like, really, really young that, you know, like, you might get a
tangent of stereotype, so don’t feel bad about it. Because people generally think of us like that. Most of
the other community, people like me, are diverse into a particular category.

Female 1: When- when your dad told you that, how did you process it? Did you like react to it? Or do
you like, okay, if I’m-

Make 1: I was like, in fourth grade, or third grade that I when I was coming from, like, like, like, I went to
Sunday school, I think I’m, and then my dad does, what it was, was, was that he was picking me up from
Sunday school, and we were walking down the stairs of (inaudible 14:27) parish. So that time he told me
this. So like son remember, like, there’ll be times when people will tell you this problem and like blah
blah. So he didn’t so- so as a small kid, like, sort of, like, not really part of like, Ah, okay, so I’ve moved on
with things. And later on eighth grade, when that happened, that’s sort of like, okay, so yeah. And what I
realized is that, because I sort of took it as a, as a challenge and sort of, like, try to show it to someone
else, or like, it was sort of detrimental to my own mental health also, because it was sort of toxic.
Because now when I think about it, like why the hate, like if you can encourage someone, you know,
they can do in a better way, like whatever they want to do in life. Why to sound like, you know,
humiliate them publicly and totally make them feel bad. Because I’ve seen teachers who have
encouraged people from getting 40 to 50 to 60. I’ve seen that because in 10 th grade only there was this
another teacher from my same community, like a Christian person. And he sort of encouraged people to
get like, like, I saw a guy getting single digit to getting 40 and passing in math. So because of the teachers
influence, so I know that you know, you can positively influence someone. So that’s what I feel about
that if there are people like this, especially in school, it’s sort of like sort of big Because I think school is
where your future is actually shaped the kind of person you are the kind of person, you don’t have to
deal with the world. So it sort of-

Female 1: Makes a huge difference. Yeah. Are you comfortable being identified as cross cultural?

Male 1: absolutely. Before I wasn’t. But eventually, as I like that (inaudible 16:18) space.

Female 1: How do you I mean, before you weren’t, you said.

Male 1: Yes, yes. But before I wasn’t, like, literally, I wasn’t comfortable at all.

Female 1: Why was that?

Male 1: Because- because I because I think that was for personal reasons, I think because I wasn’t
confident with myself to begin with. I couldn’t express myself properly. I use to overthink, actually. And
then I wasn’t comfortable actually, with my own self with I was like, like, I had a lot of insecurities. I
thought I thought about how I look at my height or, like, I’m sure you will ask me about regarding, you
know, like, your name and how even our look. So how I looked sort of like sort of affected me. Because I
was obese and obese and overweight and everything.

Female 1: So were there any, were there any like remarks from your relatives or your family members
about you know, the fact that you are not pure per se, in one cultural heritage, but you actually had
to, like they did well, but their remarks from other family members, excluding your parents, but you
know, maybe their relatives like your aunt’s your uncle’s, your cousins or anything?

Male 1: Actually, no, because- because of my relatives, we’re, like, like, maybe like being part of that like
the like the cross cultural thing. And we think it’s sort of like brings out the best of both worlds and sort
of a very healthy environment for a kid to like, grow up in and everything so- so they were very proud of
that. That way. I was blessed, I would say, because everyone was like, really happy about - my mom and
my dad’s relationship and everything. So, so that was very nice.

Female 1: Yeah. And how does the description of yourself tend to vary based on where you are. So
when you’re like, say, say, at the guy’s office, you’re kind of somebody asked you to describe yourself,
it will be a particular description. But if you’re in college, you probably have another description for
yourself, the third time entering probably an online interview, there’s another way you describe
yourself. So how does that description vary? I mean, what do you keep in mind, when you kind of
describe yourself in various places?

Male 1: First of all, I would say, the language and how I speak, that’s the thing, because when I’m in
college, when I’m in a Bengali sort of, like environment, so I would have to really understand that I need
to limit my vocabulary, or I need to think before I express, especially in Bengali, because there are
certain things which comes easily for me to express myself and English or something like that. So it’s
easy for me, but-

Female 1: Can you give me an example of like, limiting the vocabulary, like you can speak Bengali here
is an official.

Male 1: Like, I can’t think anything straight off the fact. But suppose I’m feeling something. Suppose I
want to code something which I read. Okay. So that was basically, you know, like, I write in English, and
maybe the text was in English and everything but- but the way I was feeling and the way I need to
represent that in the current scenario, which, you know, we were discussing about during an event. So,
for me, it was very difficult, especially when I talked to my mom also, like, you know, I think was the
watchman, it’s the integrity- integrity (inaudible 19:25) our integrity. know, so, so, so I have that
difficulty to explain to my mom, and similarly to my friends, you know, like, at times, like, most of them,
they understand the words, but at times, some of them who don’t, it’s sort of very difficult for me to
sort of explain the, you know, what I was feeling you know, why I can’t do a particular thing, because it's
not in my integrity, like, you know, sort of what’s my, you know, who I am as a person, so I can’t explain
this to try to understand, I just try to understand. (Laughs)

Female 1: So, okay, that’s college and anywhere else, where this kind of this plays out.

Male 1: Mostly-

Female 1: What was explaining Bengali in Bengali to Anglo Indian friends, how does that work?

Male 1: I’d actually never happened honestly, like, because, because they don’t speak Bengali to begin
with. And after that, most of the conversations I have is basically just like this happened that it was, like,
well, mostly in English, so that that concept of Bengali literature never really came up in normal
conversations. But at times, I remember like, like, this friend called me and so he saw he had difficulty
reading some signs, like while you’re walking back from school, so I don’t know how this reads that. So,
that was the only incident which I can remember like, you know, when you when he was unable to read
and everything.

Female 1: Okay. Is there any change in the way you perceive yourself in relation to your cross cultural
identity, like, obviously, when you’re a child a certain way, you imagine like, I just want to call myself
a purely Anglo Indian till I kind of reached graduation and finished and then went to Delhi and when I
went to Delhi, that’s when you know, the question started and then that whole set of introspection
starts. So, after that, it has been like transforming now, if anyone asked me, Where do you come
from, what do you describe as, I will not stick to the Anglo Indian description at all I was I will always
keep telling myself that No, I am, like influenced by two cultures. So similarly, in your case, has there
been any change in the way you’ve kind of perceived yourself?

Male 1: Yes, I would say that especially like, the way you said, you know, college, college when I moved
to college, and when I used to, like, go out with friends and finish like, see the actual Calcutta so so for
me, it’s all like sparked the interest that you know what exactly I am like, like to say, you know, it helped
me explore the Bengali side of it completely because- because I wasn’t exactly a purely Anglo Indian, I
was living in Calcutta and I could speak Bengali. So it’s sort of like made me realize that I should know
more about what exactly it means to be money. Okay, so… so- so that’s when I really got into look, okay,
I have to notice. So I used to, like, go to the famous places in Calcutta, like, those are Rajwadis and all
that once I went there, so there when I saw those architectures and all that, so that sort of felt like it like
Calcutta is a perfect place for Anglo-Indian because it sort of like, it has a Gothic architecture. And then
there is no, like, like, like, it’s totally fused into the perfect sort of, you know, tapestry of things.

Female 1: That’s like description right.

Male 1: Yes, yes, the physical description of it. It’s all like, fits, right? I mean, being a tech person,
obviously, Calcutta isn’t the ideal place, but- but I think for a community, and for that purpose is like,
literally, for communities to thrive, I think Calcutta is a beautiful place, and the construction of Calcutta
and everything, it’s all like, stay still. And it’s all like shows that you know that, you know-

Female 1: was mostly your interest that got you to explore your Bengali side, right? Nothing else than
that it was not anything else, it was just your genuine interest.

Male 1: Yes, it was a genuine interest, because I’ve been living here for like, for over two decades of my
life. So so I really wanted to know that what exactly it means to be a Bengali and the stories that I used
to listen to, because those stories sort of impacted me a lot. And so I want to experience firsthand, you
know, the stories that which I listened to, like, you know, you know, like, on the radio and the
description and vivid descriptions of it, so it’s sort of like, sort of, you know, when I was a kid, I really
want to have those experiences like traveling by train and going to those rural areas and everything
having that vibe going on so.

Female 1: How do you feel about having to kind of constantly think and then describe yourself in
different places, depending on who you’re speaking to?

Male 1: I haven’t thought about that. Like, I would say I got used to it. Like, like, like, when I was fall, that
I had to like, shoot, like they just asked me that. Okay, so, what do you think? What do you think like,
like, So, why do you have this name? What is it so? So like, I answered it so many times again, and again
and again. So like perfected dance, so I can tell? So I can gauge? You know, by looking at the person or
the person they are that how much should I tell this person? How much he will understand and how
much I should live with myself?

Female 1: Can you give a example of that Yeah, yes.

Make 1: Because- because there was a time once online recently, I met this person. And she was like,
Okay, so why do you have this name? So are you a Britisher? Or I’m like, Okay, I got it. Like the moment
she said, Oh, you are British, I understood. She won’t understand. Whatever I say she won’t understand.
I end up like that. Like, though the moment she said that word, I realized, okay, this person will not
understand and she will end up judging. And she actually ended up judging. And she said, Okay, no, I,
you know, I’m not really interested in talking to someone like that. Okay, that’s pretty racist. Okay. I was
like, Who talks like that in this day and age and I’m like okay.

Female 1: Who you think, are people’s general understandings or opinions of people with cross
cultural entities? How do you think like, we identified I’ve often been, I’ve often heard the words like,
we are 50- 50, you’re mixed, you’re half and half, you are raw? I mean, it’s a thing, it’s a very difficult
phrase. So have you heard anything similar? Or how would you describe people’s very general opinion
about those who belong to different worlds?

Male 1: I sort of, because, actually, that thing before that happened to me, actually, I sort of like sort of,
like, sort of took it as my, my positive thing. And I said, you know, on the hybrid. So- so, so I used to call
myself a hybrid, in most of the conversations like, like, like, suppose if I, if that conversation sort of came
up, so I sort of, like, record myself as hybrid. And, and that is one of the reasons why I want to know
everything about both sides. Because if I knew the Bengali side, more than the Bengali itself, they will be
like, Okay, I can’t tell him anything. Because of course, they will feel intimidated. And that’s what I
mainly targeted because Anglo-Indian, like, devalue anything. So whatever I say it’s like, whatever it is
the truth. So from the Bengali side, whatever, like so advancing, they’re like, Okay, okay. So that is one
of the reasons why someone like wanted to know more than them. And I sort of achieved that. So that’s
why it was very easy for me to suddenly brag that I know best of both worlds.

Female 1: Okay, so you are defining yourself as a hybrid, therefore, people never kind of question you
being half in half or anything of that sort.

Male 1: Because that conversation never came up. Because the way I portrayed myself and the way and
the kind of, you know, the cultural knowledge I had for both sides of it, like it shocked them. And like,
even before they sort of made sort of jokes about me, I sort of made us with a plus point.

Female 1: So does you- do you feel your physical appearance fits your cross cultural entity?

Male 1: No way.

Female 1: Why? I mean, why do you feel that way? I mean, it’s-

Male 1: Like, when do you think Charles? Do you think, okay, that guy was just six feet tall or something
like that? Was-

Female 1: How do you come to that conclusion. That’s not interesting.

Male 1: don’t know. It’s just genuine media, I think is, you know how general media tried to portray
that. And yeah, I think I probably like, and when I was a kid, I used to think I should have been taller. I
should have been taller, I should have I should have had like Goldilocks. Like, now I feel like no,
absolutely fine what I am. But data, I used to think like that. Okay. But I wish I was a bit taller.

Female 1: Okay, what about your home space? Does that reflect your cross cultural identity?
Make 1: As in?

Female 1: As in what the way your home is the kind of material culture that is there. Like there’s
certain things that are very specific to language, Anglo Indian homes, like, for example, say, a dually,
or the typical way you lay out your table and stuff. So that’s very specific to an Anglo Indian home.
Similarly, if you go to a Bengali home, they’ll be very different things on the dining table. Right? So if
you look at your home, for example, does it reflect a mixture of Anglo Indian culture and Bengali
culture?

Male 1: Yes, I would say that, because we have this sort of dressing table, which is generally often found
in Anglo- Indian homes. And after that, we have this we used to have that piano sort of seat, which
people used to sit on, but it sort of broke over time. So and then we have the altar, which is there, like,
you know, when you enter the house, you can see the altar. So, so yeah, there are things which sort of
like shows that we come from a mixed background. And then in our kitchen, if you go we have that? I
think Sheel- lohra (grinding stone), I think that is something which can call us. And we have those and
yes, we do have certain Bengali things, we also can’t see anything. I mean, we used to have those. I
mean, there’s- there’s like like, this is a carnival we used to have before COVID hit. It's called (inaudible
29:14)or something that used to happen in solitary or something like that in this area where people
from rural areas used to make handmade, handmade crafts and everything. And we sort of represented
the Bengali community and everything. And they used to sell that in that fare, or on the Carnival. So you
should get things from there. Also, we used to have that in our home right now. It has sort of like.

Female 1:Do- do you feel like the Bengali culture has in a way imposed anything upon you? Or do you
feel like you’ve just gradually taken a liking to it? Or did you feel like you have to kind of adhere to the
Bengali culture in order to fit into the city of Calcutta?

Male 1: Fit into the city? Actually, yes, because I had to fit into  the city later on because once I started
going out I sort of felt like okay understand the sort of lingoes and how the supposed to talk and how
specially the elders and cultural things like you meet to do pranam or something like that and when
someone says namaskar or something like that so little things which people use to think that’s basic,
since he should know this my mom taught that when you go and meet him do the pranam after you
should do that and that's a good thing and eventually as I said because of the story again because I
generally became interested after that and I had to know it, that played a huge part in my life and after
that in the Anglo Indian community site once when I started going to this NGO.

Female 1: You can actually name the NGO.

Male 1: Okay, when I started going to K Kais things worked and then there was uncle Colin putting me in
situations and people So there I understood that this is so and then it gave me perspective about it. This
is my dad’s side of community and how they live this grand life and I like that because what’s the point
and your time is most precious thing and if you don’t utilize it and don’t live it to your fullest I don’t
understand about being associated for the entire life.
Female 1: What about you had a very short spell about where I think you didn't work for a month or
so did your identity had any role to play?
Male 1: I blended in very well because most of them were Anglo Indian so there were most of the
question regarding because the HR also told me you will find same community people there because
most of them are Anglo Indian from Xavier you’ll fit in very well and first day I went and saw that it was
filled with Anglo Indian and I was like okay.
Female 1: Did you think that it was not that, would have been different?
Male 1: Yes I do believe because the first day was like what are you because that question will come in
that is to the general question that I get from of m professor and people I meet why that name? I mean
some are genuinely interested and they want to know some are freaked out that you are Britisher and I
don’t want to talk to you. Your nationalism comes up.
Female 1: Have you ever said like you are not fitted in with respect to the whole country whole idea of
nationalism because I have always told on my face in Delhi so I can barely understand you can’t   fit
into and you have to just prove your nationality or your citizenship with respect to everything else,
has it ever happened to you has it ever made you feel in place or out of place?
Male 1: Fortunately, my space is like I never move out of Calcutta so for me…
Female 1: So when the Britishers came is there any example for virtual space?
Male 1: I’m sorry, what?
Female 1: I am saying the Britisher example the fact that day that you are a Britisher and asking
whether you are a Britisher I think that connects to locks of nationalism as well?
Male 1: Exactly that happened just once. This friend of mine told that you sort of divide and concert
that’s why be careful I said don't joke around but that thing I think comes up pretty often specially
outside Calcutta because in Calcutta people are used to the concept of Anglo Indians and to a certain
extent like Anglo Indians are famous in Calcutta and especially the barracks and especially everyone they
have an idea about what the culture is what the community is and the understand that and the concept
which I think about this nationalism is this thing which is very flirt and someone who has not completely
educated and not understood the concepts and ends up  charging them very absurd way like I have seen
it and some of the interviews how they sort of react to Christians in general and forget about Anglo
Indians?
Female 1: Can you give examples about that?
Male 1: Because there was this one interview in news reports and I think it was in Haryana and the
person was I think he was carrying a singing carrol and something like that and there was a group of
people who walked to him and like what are you doing I mean you know why you are preaching this
thing like go back to your country or ‘ye sab yahan nahi chalega’ and you know it was pure bullying are
you can't sing carols like this during Christmas. ‘Yah sab nahin chalega tum apna Church mein jao aur
gao' people in India who just I mean India when you talk about you know the fact that democracy that
you have freedom of speech and then there is this question do we really have it so that’s the thing. So
there are certain places where hot mentality still works so in those places obviously they do not
understand the fact that that community stayed back and they want to have Indian citizenship I mean, 
that’s the reason.
Female 1: When asked question about your cross culture identity in relation to your physical
appearance or the way you speak or the language that your mother tongue like that are you often ask
questions like for example like people look at you and try now guess where you are and then they are
like oh you know based on the way you speak you are this, have you ever been  questioned relating to
physical attributes?
Male 1: Physical attribute like when people see me the often told me that you don’t look like Charles I
don't expect from Charles Dixon and I actually tell them I am sorry like tell my name they don’t expected
from me because I look very sort of Indian.
Female 1: Why do you think they say like this I don’t expect Charles Dixon?
Male 1: Exactly, because that's why I said because from a very young age I used to think so that was
injected into my mentality that I don’t look like that .I think Charles Dixon should look like, he is
angularly should look tall and fair may be golden haired so it’s basically that , Even in college I use to
remember some of my friends say ohh… your name is Charles but you look normal only, so should I look
like someone or something else , like I’m hurt specially from girls that you don’t look like Charles.
Female 1: So you respond with humor or on one front I feel like you want to turn it to humor and get
rid of the thought process and makes it easier for the other person but inside you can feel hurt and
frozen out and people are kind of like pushing you away to certain extent because I feel like that so
does it happen with you?
Male 1: So basically the physical attributes or something else.
Female 1: How you respond to this do you use humor or do you internalize it that outside you may be
joking but inside you would be feeling bad about being told all this.
Male 1: At moments I use humor to turn around like go off topic and change conversation but there are
times like I wish I was this and they understood this and I wish it was a little different.
Female 1: Do you use humor everywhere or does it change?
Male 1: I use humor everywhere. I sort of like it’s easier and taunt around and go about my day.
Female 1: So what about the way you dress has it ever picked away questions or how you fit in?
Male 1: My wardrobe was always like very normal like t shirts and everything so my dressing sense, the
way I dressed it never really mattered because it was very difficult for other people to identify what I
was wearing and who I was because I was very basic casual.
Female 1: What about the mother tongue or way you spoke this language?
Male 1: About mother tongue people often told me like when I speak Bengali it’s like I am non bengali to
that is something which people had always told me the way you speak Bengali is non bengali so that
remark I got from one one of my teachers. She was very nice person but she gave me this remark that
Charles has a very unique way of saying Bengali.
Female 1: It’s not incorrect it’s just unique way.
Male 1: It’s just that vibrato I don’t know like maybe the way it sounds like non bengali but sounds nice.
Female 1: Who asks most questions about your identity is it a particular individual or is it your peer
group?
Male 1: Mostly my peer group and in general when I have to mention my name like I generally don’t
mention my name in most of situations so to people that often but when I have to tell about who I am
what I am that’s where I have to tell them and after I say my name I just wait do I have to see the cross
questions coming and if they are like okay then I just continue.
Female 1: Okay, how do they ask you suppose you said your name to somebody and you are waiting
for the second question to jump at you what generally is the second question?
Male 1: when I say my name and then I pause for like 3 seconds it just to say whether they are coming
back this is that your real name? Okay the first question that tackles me is that your real name specially
when I am talking to like who is in the age of teenager to 25 years of age some of them just say is that
your real name this is the first thing that they ask me and when the age bracket exceeds 30 so they ask
logical questions that what are you so are you from India or where are you from so are you and NRI so
this is the question.
Female 1: How do you very across different spaces?
Male 1: I mean the questions, okay in college the students they asked whether it was my real name or
not because after that most of the seniors were is this your real name  and  on shops and all  they
generally don’t ask that much questions and that go on my own way, that it .
Female 1: How do you feel when you are asked these questions because it's mostly surrounding your
name that's the force makers so how do you feel of having responding to this questions of course now
you have become seasoned to the questions but I think I don't think it's started like that and all of us
wouldn’t have been comfortable with us having the question thrown at us so if you look backwards to
the entire time how do you see the way you feel has changed in terms of responding to these
questions like you have gathered courage to answer all these questions like you just give it back how
do you feel that change has come about?
Male 1: interpretation because again and again I have to repeat the same answers so first time when I
have to answer that yes I am a catholic ok I have seen Catholics this generally go and Dixon they are first
time hearing that so that's good that's good how do you how do you spell  Dixon or the other way
around. So yes my title was a big joke throughout the school my surname was a big joke.
Female 1: Do you friends use any nicknames for you?
Male 1: Yes, I can’t mention that generally using my surname.
Female 1: Okay.
Male 1: With different spelling.
Female 1: I kind of figure that out other than that is there any other name that they used to describe
you ?
Male 1: The dog Charlie I don’t know what, the dog after me say I don’t know should I feel good or bad
about it sounds like they use to call me Charlie. One trend in particular.
Female 1:do you think that trying to get at you for something in terms of calling your name or just
having fun with it?
Male 1: I think they were having fun mostly. 
Female 1: Okay, in your opinion what varies in terms of what people describe you? Your co workers
interpretation about you, your liked ones  interpretation of you your parents interpretation about you
your mums or your dad will see you very differently so what do you think is the variation how do you
describe it?
Male 1: From a cultural perspective or a personal perspective.
Female 1: From a cultural perspective.
Male 1: Cultural perspective I think my parents don’t really see me as a  sort of, like to my parents or any
parents they don’t see any thing different it’s normal to them and yeah just who we are and they just go
about it I saw as long as my friends are concerned I think they  see me as someone who wasn't really like
them who doesn't know about the Bengali community that much so they sort of try to first the use to I
mean that right actually they were very good to me from the beginning so the actually sort of put me  in
most of their activities at times when we had Pooja recently we had the Puja which was  in my college
specifically almost of the engineering colleges specifically celebrated  in a most grand  way and is sort of
always try to involve me in everything beat Saraswati Puja like this show they always want to include me
and I had a perspective on it and they are very curious to know about it that what I think about it so
that’s all I don’t know they just want to impress me like somehow they want to know what do I think
about it you know it’s really nice na yes it’s nice I am in yes there also wanted to show off this sort of
community and culture to someone who  wasn’t  used to that or new to that community or culture and
they want I think you are video has frozen again. It’s fine so they wanted to sort like get my opinion on it
I think that’s what they were trying to do and involve me in most of the things and my teachers on the
other hand I think the College professor specifically they used to think that to they were  confused about
like  they sort of try to avoid most of the situations like I mean they tried not to have lot of conversations
with me because I could see that I don’t know maybe they I just don’t understand because maybe they
used to think because they think I don’t understand a particular community or thing or joke or things
specially but the English professor which we had he was sort of curious like about my perspective on
about particular text or something like that.
Female 1: what about your friends you are telling about your teachers but what about your friends in
school and colleges that are two different I think groups probably how did they kind of or their
description about you very and how are you school friends described you and how are you college
friends described you?
Male 1: I think school friends I was something very normal and that's thought of net discriminated based
on cultural things actually so to them Charles Dixon was very wasn't out of the blue so the very use to
Charles Dixon so he is from a Bengali father as well so he understand both the cultures I still have like I
still I am in contact with my school friends day still talk to me I am in those to the I am not very sort of
specially the aunt really that and they are used to that it's only the college.
Female 1: Okay so you belong to a different culture two different cultural words and that each one has
its own set of attributes and the Christian on the one hand and the Bengali on the other hand do you
tend to be incline towards one more than the other?
Male 1:no I wouldn't say so because to me I think both of them sort of like has a different way of per
saving life in general and I personally like balance so there's this evil villain called thanos who I so he said
that everything should be in balance or something like that.
Female 1: And gone with 5 stones and something like that.
Male 1: Exactly, as everything should be it should be in balance I think but my Anglo Indian community
represents is basically having fun and life I mean we should because time is limited and no matter how
much you succeed in life the fact that it's fleeding by you can't just buy that time and once it's gone you
can't really re-live 2019 2017.
Female 1: So this balance exist in all places like even in the workplace you maintain balance even in
the community you maintain balance in whom you are maintaining your balance I may is that balance
there or does it something happened all your me to pick one and try to kind of neutralize it?
Male 1: whenever I am in a compromising situation when there is too much of certain thing where I feel
like very uncomfortable and sort of like make me feel I would say a bit sort of fizzed I don’t like being
where I am only studying and I can’t go out and it feels like jail so I am remainder so I like having that
balance so if I go to college that a times and I used to go to college and I know that the lectures which I
would don’t attend then also I would study and pass one day before the exam.
Female 1: I am talking about in terms of your maternal and paternal attributes maintain the balance
of both of them right and you said that it should be always in balanced you think in this balance is
maintained in all the different spaces is that in your home the church pace the workplace online or
what happened or war happens that are certain circumstances where you made to pick one over the
other but because of your tendency to naturalize and balance you kind of bring it down again for
example if I were in a Kayas  dance I would not walk around wearing an Onam saree because it would
just make me feel out of place you know similarly if I went Kerela I would not wear a strapless dress
and work around because it would make me feel out of place so that in that kind of sense do you tend
to play down their entity of one aspect of your identity and torn up one aspect in certain spaces?
Male 1: That is something which I definitely do like sort of I put on the switch so that if I am on a Bengali
setting I’ll turn off the Anglo Indian type of switch and focus on that thing whatever they will understand
whatever their language there food is there thing is all though there is one thing I have seen when  I
hang out with my Bengali cultural things because they are very interested in knowing what Anglo Indian
community is and what are the food that they eat they want to know the sausages from they want to
know the things from where is this quizing and that I can you bring in some rules can you bring in some
that and they are very curious about the cuisine and they want to know about the culture and the
especially interested especially my peer group and on the other hand when I go to Kayas I don’t discuss
about the Bengali community at all because I remember one thing in Kayas  which has  actually
benefited me because there was one Kayas  quiz I guess we had it once one time during the summer
camp at that time there were like a lot of Bengali questions were coming up so I got 4 questions correct
so that time I fell comfortable in showing that expertise in Bengali.
Female 1: Anywhere else other than these two spaces?
Male 1: mostly these two spaces because other places where I go I don't have to really communicate to
others so it’s very lightly to that I go so I keep it to myself mostly.
Female 1: so has long as you don’t communicate your fine why do you think there is a need to kind of
negotiate the attributes in such a way where you play to the one  and don’t play to the other you have
to switch on one and switch off the other why do you think there is any to do that?
Male 1: See what they are comfortable with and what will keep them sort of comfortable in a like you
know conversation with you because I tried to sort of  mirror the person to who ever I am speaking to
because that's how I sort of realise how to gauge to whom I am talking to and understand the situation
and then sort of spill the beans and know or talk about what I have to talk that’s why I have to talk,
that’s why I try to talk about what the person was capable of and have this conversation starters and
then just say each time whether that person is ok with that or not.
Female 1: So you do it to make sure that the person you are speaking to his comfortable or not what
about your conferred doesn’t that also play a role that how suppose your making a person to
comfortable they are not kind of reciprocating that then what happens like they start making you feel
uncomfortable then what do you do?
Male 1: Then sort of  end  the conversation as soon as possible but there are, this  actually happened, I
sort of understand whether the other person is comfortable or not the people I am absolutely
comfortable with they are people who know may completely and I can tell them anything and about
everything but that’s confined to a very hand pick set of people.
Female 1: Your response to switching on and switching over,  whom do you call, does it kind of change
who is asking you the question? 
Male 1: Yes.
Female 1: Can you give me some examples?
Male 1: So you are asking from Kayas or someone from friends yes. In Kayas I cannot, in Kayas I was I
used to talk to merely uncle Colin and some of the other people and most of the other people who I use
to talk to were superficial and they had to do very deep conversation about my life history in order to
understand my life and themselves so it was mostly superficial and the short conversation that I really
thought was that it was required. 
Female 1: Do you think it’s difficult to maintain these balances in terms of sitting on the end side let
me pre phrase that do you think it’s difficult to putting on the switch?
Male 1: It is starring at times it is referring tiring because it drinks my social battery. have
Female 1: How. Can you state examples?
Male 1: I mean I have to filter out whatever my thoughts are coming so that filtering has to just always
go on and sort of I just need to understand and tell this person about this and specially suppose in a
Bengali environment especially the ones who are absolutely like who eat beef and  found that some
don’t eat beef so I went to the Shim-Shim restaurant and I had it and it was really good so I said I can't
start of with that because and my mom just tell me you just can’t tell them because I can’t send you
tiffin because you had Bengali friends and because you have been eating beef they won’t sit with you
they won’t talk to you and so that thing happened now I remember that this happened in college this
happened in school the tiffin which I carry used to be like non threatening to any cultural background so
yes.
Female 1: How do you describe yourself as a person of cross culture in your own words?
Male 1: Your video has frozen again can you stop it and started again.
Female 1: Yah sure.
Male 1: Sorry about that.
Female 1: It’s okay thank you for telling me. For me it’s moving I can see you moving so it’s for me it’s
difficult to know that it’s frozen so how do you describe yourself as a person of cross culture?
Male 1: Someone who learnt overtime and someone who was sir blessed with a family who could
provide the best of both words I got say that so and I got the exposure to the right amount of people
who sort of made my life a bit less difficult specially because I know there are lot of people who sort of
face a lot of discrimination and at places and their feel very uncomfortable and for me it was mostly
apart from certain situations it was mostly blessed I would say that I had a really good peer group.
Female 1: These all are the external factors outside of you how would you describe yourself as cross
culture for example if I had to describe myself cross cultural I would talk about being a cast of you
know that generally the description used I am cross of Anglo Indian and Malyali and I am comfortable
equally and I don’t like people telling me that I am half and half you know I am both I don't like
anyone drawing this limit so I am just reflecting on yourself how would you describe yourself in such?
Male 1: Can I take a minute because I have never thought about it.
Female 1: Yes.
Male 1: I mean I have a mixture of Anglo Indian and Bengali and I would like to be with both the sides of
my community I would say and not to be detached by anyone I would say.
Female 1: Okay, so what was your thought process in that one minute to come to this description?
What was going through your brain?
Male 1: What was going through my brain is that, I totally like recently I got this offer where I have to
move abroad, so I really wanted to stay connected with you know my home like home as in not just
home and people but that sort of vibe I said because when I got that news I was sitting in you know
Hawrah in front of gamgeen with my friend and he has to pick up his brother because when I got the
news I was sitting… you know like heard of gangies and I was sitting with my friends. He have to pick up
his brother and something like that so so so so that's the vibe was going on.
Female 1: Hmm.

Male 1: So you know I really want to experience and obviously the way I got my job also so they were
really impressed about the fact I was part of this community Indian community and I was trying to …
um… sorry.

Female 1: Yeah, it’s okay (laughing).

Male 1: Yeah. Can I drink some water.

Female 1: Sure if you want also you can may be think about a little more and then maybe send me a
WhatsApp message about the selfish description… if you because I know, because you know I am
asking is very reflexive wish you probably have to think about and answer. So if you want to move on
to the next part and come on this letter and text we can do that.

Male 1: Okay okay.

Female 1: Yeah.

Male 1: Yeah.

Female 1: So do you introduce yourself on an online interview and to your friends to say or somebody
on the social media, um to your colleagues do you mention your cross cultural background?

Male 1: I have to because the first thing they ask me rather than the image. And after that after that I
have to most of them preference speaking either in Hindi or Bengali. After saying that I don’t understand
that language I do understand Bengali and when I start speaking in Bengali they have a fake name or
something like that so I can’t stay away from the fact to make them comfortable also I have to
check….um..what to say.. two sort of make sure that you know that thing is completely, I mean the point
is, the point has gone across completely like I do have both of them like like I do understand Bengali and
I am also ( name) so I do understand both of them.

Female 1: Hmm.

Male 1: So, so I have to get that point across sometimes because.

Female 1: Do you do you when you get that point across do you tend to half on one side or you know
only your.. may be it’s a, I’m just thinking am talking hypothetically, that it’s a job of a abroad would
you rather choose to lie on half of your atonality , because that’s what will appeal to them more or
you know stay harsh about Bengali or you know add some additional nonessential Bengali, so you
kind of get that, you know.. it's kind of bisup your CV as well. Does that happened to you, I mean do
you feel it’s kind of berries that kind of impacts on your Anglo Indianess or Bengaliness.

Male 1: Yes when I was interviewing for the abroad thing, I was specifically increasing on the fact that I
was Anglo Indian and what I did? And you know how I sort like how I sort … um.. get… I was comfortable
with the clients in UK and all that so, yeah, you know what I did based on the short, the short internship
I have of two months. So ,so yes to specifically I sort of use the partial thing as a stepping stone you
know to get what I was and you know I was specifically relying on the anglo Indian side of the .

Female 1: Why do you think you are doing that consciously?

Male 1: I was consciously doing that because they would be, because to them it would be easier to
relate to me. That’s what I thought because they were specifically looking for the people who put
understand the community and how the exactly speak you know like like what are the things which they
generally prefer to be nice. And how to sort of like approach to people talk to people. Because in certain
community it’s their right like, you know, so, yeah.

Female 1: Do you think there is anything that kind of suggest you are cross cultural?

Male 1: No.

Female 1: Okay, do you ever tried to kind of disguised or cover-up about yourself to make people
guess your identity?

Male 1: People always guess my identity, I look very non sort of a Anglo Indian side of it and that’s what
people will tell me most of the day most of the time they will tell me, “bro you don't look like Anglo
Indian though.” So.

Female 1: (Laughing) Okay.

Male 1: Yeah.

Female 1: so is there, is there any difference in the way others describe you and the way you describe
yourself?

Male 1: Umm… people often think that I won’t understand .. um.. a like in a cultural way you said, right?

Female 1: Yeah.

Male 1: People often saying that I would not understand the Bengali side of it. So that what I see
generally.
Female 1: Hmm.

Male 1: But it is not what it is I do understand, that’s mostly it.

65-95 AMISHA OLD

Female 1: Do you tend to like follow the way others describe you? Or do you happily describe yourself
on your own terms?
Male 1: There are times when I sort of want to live up to what other people can think of we as because
that has happened, because at everything, people are like you must would have liked ham and cheese
will but I don't like having cheese I generally don't like have, and they just expect me to like sort of like
that, especially my dad. Because, because there was a time when he used to get those bandages, and I
don't like that cheese. I mean, I just don't like that. You don't use like, like, when I was a kid, you should
eat this, you know, what kind of man you are to don't eat this, I'll make what I just don't want you to
take, like, you don't have like, and yeah, that's like, that's all I can think of.

Female 1: When I say the word belonging, what comes to your mind? A sense of belonging,

Male 1: A sense of belonging, I think what you want to identify yourself as that's what I really think.
Because when you say you belong to a particular thing, you really want to be identified as that. And, and
it's sort of like, it's a part of your identity, when you say you belong to a particular community or
particular thing. But of course, there are some limitations like, like, if you say you want to be, I don't
know, maybe a part of a certain community, which you don't have at all, like, l-like, like, it's not in your
ancestry at all. But if you really want to be a part of it, you still are sort of like falling short from it. But
then again, you can also like know about the community and everything like that, but I think belonging is
that provided like like, it can be a part of your identity, provided you have that sort of thing. That's what
I think.

Female 1: What was- was responsible for creating it is because it's the only the individual. 
Male 1:  The belonging?
Female 1: Yeah, the sense of belonging.
Male 1: Now, it's actually both ways, it's actually both ways, because sense of belonging is created by
the individual specifically. And, and if the individual is not, sort of like, like, if the individual is forced into
that thing, like, you know, you belong here, or you are low caste or something like that. I know, like, in
this day and age, it's like, it's generally rare to see that. But there are certain cases where it goes on. But
like, as long as the person really wants to be identified as that, I think that's what the person really
wants. And I'm sorry,  what was the question I forgot.

Female 1: Whose responsible for creating a sense of belonging? I think that's, you said both ways
right?
Male 1: Both ways. I think it is.

Female 1: Where do you experience belonging, the most of you experienced with the least.
Male 1: Like in my cultural thing, right?

Female 1: Yeah. With respect to your home with respect to the office place or yourself? Or the virtual
space? Maybe Where do you feel like you belong the most?

Male 1: Belong the most? I would say, my home, I would say my home.

Female 1: Where do you feel like you belong the least?

Male 1: At office? I would say office, I would say office.

Female 1:Why the two spaces. Why would you say home is the easiest and least?

Male 1: Office? Because- because most of them were from the north, actually. And so it was very
difficult for me to understand the language. So I was like, What are they talking about? I have no idea.
So most of them use this. This? I don't know, what language do they use in the north, What- what is?

Female 1: Haryanvi or something? If it’s Delhi then it's Hindi. Otherwise, it's Haryanvi.

Male 1: No, it was like, it was like the, you know, the like the Northeast like northeast side of it. It was
something like Assamese or something like that. Like it wasn’t Assamese was something else like
because it was like we use a very different language. I have no idea. So- so there I sort of like I couldn't
communicate a lot because quick because most of them from the northeast, like most of them are from
the northeast. So if you can't communicate like you don't understand so… so it was difficult and hope I
feel most mostly comfortable because mostly to my own space. I'm just like, I'm just using my laptop
and everything. And I'd have to explain a lot of people a lot of things. So the explaining is very less. I
don't like explaining

Female 1: So the sense of belonging which is there which is like the own which is partly on the onus of
the individual to kind of foster in respect to yourself. What do you think helps foster a sense of
belonging? What about you? Have you think you can foster a sense of belonging? Is it the is it the way
you appear? The way you speak your personality? How do you think? What do you think is a ticket
that kind of gives you like, yeah, okay, I can use this to foster my sense of belonging.

Male 1:For me I realized that later on during, during the COVID times is that this place where I used to
go to Kayas, there, I sort of completely sort of like, sort of developed and understood the entire cultural.
So I sort of enhanced my cultural background of the Anglo Indian side of it. And during, and during the
COVID times when, when things were not happening, and the activities weren't, were not happening, I
sort of felt very sort, like I was missing that sort of side of it. I mean, that cultural side of it, because I,
because in that moment, like, like, because when things are happening, you have to like really realize
that it's really important part of your life, and you'll sort of end up missing or something like that, but
later on, especially when it's gone, you realize, okay, okay, I really missed that kind. Well, I wish I was
here. I wish I was there. I wish things were happening, because it was fun. Yeah. And yes, chi sort of like
defined the Anglo Indian side of it, mostly because, because the and in church when I was in the Sunday
school that I could find my community people like, like, you know, like people from my cultural
background, but after that, in general, the mass I don't find anyone. So that's why that is the thing. Yeah.

Female 1: So as basically the fact that you are looking for similar minded people, that's what, that's
what kind of connects you and gives you the ticket to create belongingness your own kind.

Male 1: My own kind has.

Female 1: Okay, just now a little while earlier, you said that you have your own space at home, and
that kind of, you know, helps you feel like you belong there the most. So what do you think that
needs to be in a particular place? For it to be your place?
Male 1: A good chair, that allows a good chair with no backache, nothing.

Female 1: Is that with no emotions, no feelings? Nothing. So if we give you an empty room with a
chair, you will be fine?

Male 1: Okay, okay. Yeah, okay. Yeah, no, but that's a very good question. I absolutely won't be fine.
Because I realize I'm, like, I don't talk that much. But I need someone all the time to talk to. That's me
that's absurd because- because I mostly will be like, out of 24 hours in a day, probably it probably 10, 12-
15 hours, I'll be in my own room doing my thing, but at least have one or two I'd like to I need to talk to
someone. Like, I can't talk my mom or going to like my friend who like really stays nearby. So-
Female 1:  So what are those emotions that you need? I mean, is it like any one of those feelings that
feeling of connection? So you talk about having to talk me through have a conversation with people
for Are there any certain emotions you need in a particular place for to experience you know, like,
your comfort and you’re okay there.
Male 1: I would- emotions, right? I've never thought about it.
Female 1: (Laughs) We can come back to that. We can come back to that. Don't worry. 
Male 1: Okay.
Female 1: Oh, does your Have you ever been threatened or teased? In particular spaces? Threatened
partner school incident that you spoke about? Is there anything else? So you've you're comfortable
otherwise?

Male 1: No, no. been threatened in that way.

Female 1: Okay. Do you feel like you belong to the country in the nation?

Male 1: I absolutely do. I absolutely do belong to the nation.

Female 1: Do- do you feel you feel that way? I mean, obviously, you have a passport and you have
Aadhar card that gives you a sense of belonging great. But then when you kind of look at the
questions that you get asked about being ready to the petitioner you do you feel that it instills. It
instills a sense of belonging?

Male 1: I mean, I do belong other people who don't understand I just feel like, I mean, there are stupid
people. That's all you just got to like, avoid them. That's all. Don't avoid them. Totally. Just ignore them.

Female 1: How are you made aware of the variations in your sense of belonging? Like know, home is
where I feel most comfortable. Work is not where I feel comfortable. So how you made aware of that
sense of variation.

Male 1:  Communication is one of the key points and it's all in spite of communication, like along with
communication, there is a thing called explanation or to explain myself a lot. So I don't like explaining
certain things. So yeah, explanation mostly. I mean, I would rather talk to someone who I'm fighting with
just because you know, it will spare me the explanation of the backstory. Like okay, fine. Like this person
knows me already, so I don't have to start from the scratch.
Female 1: Is there  anything that you consciously do to ensure that you're identified as part of a
group? These are these Anglo Indian, these are  the Bengali.

Male 1: I try to be, I try to be… very  n- Yes, I do. I wouldn't say what I do, but like I do.

Female 1: Could you- could you, I mean, I- I don't need to (inaudible 1:15:23) know what you?

Male 1: What I do, okay. I mean, I try to sound a bit normal. When I'm with my rented community,
people like like, I don't go that deep. Like, I don't show the real logistics and like, you know, this, this
this, I don't go that deep. Because unless I'm a doctor call it I can say whatever I can. But rest of the
time, it's like on it on like normal, normal.
Female 1: What is what is going deep? And what is being normal? I mean, can you give me an example
for conversation, which is normal, and a conversation, which is going deep.

Male 1: At times, I just end up seeing very, very, very obnoxious things, I would say that, especially once
I remember back back- back, I was well, I think the first time I walked in guy's office, and I called him
(inaudible 1:16:06). And then he asked me something regarding something what I want to do, and like
something like that I literally said was dissolved and desire. That was very (inaudible 1:16:19) (Laughs).
Later on, I realized that, you know, your pointed that out. You know, that's, that's very wrong. So- so  I
keep dropping these weird bombs, which are absolutely flawed, they are flawed, okay, but I keep
dropping these sorts of things. And you know, someone who is not sort of like, you know, under, like,
has nothing to contradict that actually, like, be some sense into his world. Like, it can be threatening to
them.
Female 1: So conversation is what then A normal conversation is like, Hello. Hi. How are you?
Male 1: Yeah, just like keeping it on the surface level? Just..j-just the usual conversation. Yes. I was like,
going Yeah, bro. This start just did you see that game? Did you see the music? Is that so just like, a pop
culture? Discuss?

Female 1: Why do you feel you have to, like, do this, like have like be so careful of having a normal
conversation on a, like a deep conversation?

Male 1: Because… I think some of them just- just might feel a bit sort of, some of them might feel
insecure, some of them might not understand and will just like, sort of like, okay, that was boring. I
mean, like, what? So I just tried to like, keep it so they can socialize with other people.

Female 1: Have you ever felt uncomfortable about your identity in public?

Male 1: At times, yes, I did. At times I did. There was a time when I identified myself as Aditya
Bhattacharya. I use my friends best, like, friends best name? Like, my best friend's name.

Female 1: Yeah, yeah. Why did you do that?

Male 1: I mean, it was an absolute completely Bengali setting. Okay, so I was very uncomfortable. I was
like, okay, just somehow I suddenly felt okay. I can't say I'm this side. You said yes. I'm sorry.
that mean? I thought I'll be like, sort of, like, left out in the entire thing. So I just want to like, you know,
just- just blend in and sort of like, have my fun sort of, like, you know, and go back home without
explaining a lot of things. Because, especially it was very, I was in a setting where it was, you know, it's
filled with what, how do I say this? It was filled with, you know, strict Bengali cultural, I mean, you know,
when you see those old grannies and, you know, like, it's like, you know, those very orthodox Bengali
come setting, you know, isn't that please. So, on a very tight situation. So I said that. My name is
temperature.
Female 1: So it was intentional? 
Male 1:Yes, it was absolutely intentional.

Female 1: And that is the only time you did it? Or is there anything any other time that it's happened?

Male 1: There was one time when I was I was in this college fest. Okay. So, so, a friend of mine, she sort
of ended up laughing when I you know, when I told the person that you know, that, yes, my name is
Dixon Charles, like I was giving my email id okay. The person on the counter. So, so, so sure. So she
ended up laughing and this person looked at me and I'm like, is this really real ID? That I can I resorted
into like, okay, so I'll tell it’s AdityaBhattacharya@gmail.com. All of that was the fake ones. I just, I mean,
that doubt, which they seem to see me with, it's sort of like it's very annoying. Like, okay. Yeah. So just
go with the Aditya Bhattacharya.
Female 1: You really do that?

Male 1: Yeah. I do that like Like, whenever I faced this confrontation, I'm like, okay, um, you know,
you're I don't have enough social battery to deal with this. I just like say this and I'm done.

Female 1: That's pretty interesting. So is there anything that you do daily that reminds you of your
cross cultural entity, like in your daily practices?
Male 1: Daily practices…
Female 1: Something that is very much Anglo Indian and Bengali. Or-

Male 1: My mom does this something and my- my  dad asked me to does the same thing like, like, like,
like actually my mum and dad, they both asked me to do this. I mean, this is something which Bengali
people do, okay. And this sort of, like, blended into some English thing, okay. Like, you know, like this.

Female 1: Can you give me like, I don't I don't understand what. Okay, okay.

Male 1: Yes, I'm telling you. It's basically Bengali people give this thing called (inaudible 1:20:38) okay. 
Female 1: Yeah, yeah. 
Male 1: Yeah, so  put incense sticks and all that. So- so.. what what happens like, in, in my community, I
think people generally treat the rosary in the evening. Okay. So since like, we don't have like, like, I
specifically never had the time to, like, sit with everyone. And, you know, like, read the rosary. So- so
what my mom and dad asked me to do is basically light those incense sticks and put it you know, so - so
that was like, a replacement for that, but it's sort of mixed into that shiny thing. And it was like, you
know, Bengali thing, and also an English thing and just, like, mixed into that thing that happens. And
then at times, my father gets flowers for the altar. So I have to put that on. Like, why do I have to put
that on I don’t understand, something when you have to bath and  before put that on? Because, like, it
is not something very sorted, like Christian the stone but it's preferred and my mom just like, take a
bath. And after that, do that, okay. Okay. Now, does it make sense? But okay. I mean, it makes sense.
Because I have this Bengali friend recall, we had to take the bath before and also temple of the house.
So, so yeah.

Female 1: Okay. Is there anything that you kind of do daily that reminds you? I mean, what - what do
you really mean is your everyday practices in the house, but outside the house, and then anything
that kind of that you have to do to kind of ensure that, you know, you're seen in this cross cultural
entity? Oh, that tells you Okay, yeah, you belong to cross culture identity therefore  you will have to
do this, because what you talked to me was, you know, response, specifically, like just contained
within the house, but just I'm wondering if you do anything outside,

Male 1: I used to do this wherever. Like, I used to do this when I was a kid, wherever used to, like, pass,
like in front of a church or something like that, we should like sign on the cross. So. So that was
something we used to do. Like, especially as a kid, I saw everybody doing it, like, especially when we're
like passing in our church or something like that in a school bus. And everybody used to sign in the cross,
become part of a church or something. And especially when you-

Female 1: Nobody asked to do that, I also see people-  I have seen people do, but I never, I've never
done it. I know people know, passed through the temple used to do it. And therefore I was like, okay,
their passing a temple, therefore, they're doing it. And then maybe, you know, because then I'm
saying like, Okay, you're passing your church is supposed to be doing it. I think that's what the
understanding is, I don't think anyone told us every turn to pass to sign out the cross.

Male 1: (Chuckles) That used to happen in my school bus  was so I sort of picked it up from there, like in
school bus was like, like, it was mostly filled with Catholic kids. So, so- so whatever used to pass for
(inaudible 1:23:01), my boss used to go from (inaudible 1:23:03) like everybody should do sign across, I
just went along with it. Okay.

Female 1: Do you think speaking of languages reminds you of your cross cultural entity, the fact that
you have to shift from English to Bengali in different spaces? Depending on who you're talking to?
Male 1: Yes, it does. Yes, it does.
Female 1: How does it vary? 
Make 1: varies from…

Female 1: The- the home how does it I mean, your home what- what is it, mostly?

Male 1: Home mostly my, like, I speak to my mom and Bengali. And my dad also speaks Bengali. So
that's fine. And guys, I speak English. And when I go to, in general, I have had to communicate Bengali
when I meet my friends, from school and from other places like code English.

Female 1: Like this, is- is it  shift everywhere? Or except that one incident so you told me that you
cannot like really find the Bengali vocabulary to explain yourself? Other than that, like, is it a smooth
transition?

Male 1: At times, once it happened? I was in a conversation with a Bengali friend of mine. Okay, and
after that, this school friend of mine called and immediately or how to shift from Bengali to English or
like how? It's very socially draining. I would say that because you need like, you know, you need 10
minutes break to be bilingual at times like Okay, drink some water. Or like, you know, have that sort of
refresh your RAM, I would say that your mental RAM and all like, you know, process all the words and
say.

Female 1: Do you need to do anything deliberately to confuse people? When it comes to entity?
Male1:  Yes. 
Female 1: What do you do? What do you do?
Male 1:  I mean, at times, I especially like with the incident with the other day Bhattacharya where I used
my alias name it was it was that at times, most of my friends like at times when I start speaking to
people in Bengali directly without telling them my name. So I purposely do you think guesses must be a
Bengali  (inaudible 1:25:04-1:25:07) So that's like a shock in their faces like-
Female 1: Yeah, yeah.
Make 1: At- at times it’s entertaining.

Female 1: Is there any certain strategy or tactic you use to kind of manage your identity in places, like
you mentioned a couple throughout the conversation, but anything, but then anything that you kind
of classify or identify as a particular strategy that you use to manage your identity?

Male 1: I mean as in manage.

Female 1: Yeah. Like, for example, with me is whenever I'm in Delhi, and has any function in the
department, I will never wear trousers and a shirt, or I will never wear a skirt and a blouse. That's-
that’s right. That's very typical western formal wear, right, but I don't mind going to church like that.
But in Delhi, it's like a very typical, I will wear probably a salwaar – kameej with that with juttis, and I
wear a bindi, and I'll wear with those jhumka earrings, and I look typically north  Indian, well, you
won't even look at me as an Anglo Indian. And I purposely, like kind of, that's the way where I kind of
fit in, even though I feel like a misfit. And I'm like, Okay, why the hell am I wearing this? Even
similarly, when I just finished two conferences, so I was sitting in front of my laptop and in a saree.
And even though nobody knows, I mean, no one gives a damn about online, you know, whether -
whether you're like, sitting in a world, whatever garment you're wearing, but I mean, to sit in a sari
and talk about Anglo Indians. In an international seminar. So that's like, also managing your identity,
because you want to be seen as Indian. But internally, it's a different argument altogether so.

Male 1: But that- that happened, actually. (Clears throat) There was in, in college, there were there were
functions everywhere is wearing like, Punjabi and everything, and I wore like a shirt and pants. So, like,
like, like, I fell out of place a little bit. So ever since that, I called like, a different set of Punjabi for like,
you know, like, you know, Bengali, Punjabi thing from the store called (inaudible 1:26:55). And I went
and got it. I mean, size done and used to wear that, but I couldn't wear that in church, because everyone
is like wearing normal clothes that I go there as like (unclear audio 1:27:02), like, what the hell. Because I
remember why one friend of mine called me, balibo, it was Ryan Smith. I was like, I'm never gonna wear
that again.  (laughs) So the-

Female 1: So did- did your identity play any specific role in making friends or you know, as a child in
school or in college doesn't play a very defining role in determining your social circle.
Male 1: Which one like? 
Female 1: Like your identity,
your identity, play any role in determining your set of friends, or how you make friends in school.
That's the first place in college and in your workplace, three places.
Make 1: I had to filter out the kinds of people who are not specifically because on the Anglo-Indian side
of it, it was fine, because they were very inclusive, and they never really sort of, like judged that that
much a lot. But on the other hand, in the Bengali side of it, I had to be careful that you know, whether
they are accepting the thing or not like, like other half of my community or not, okay. Because, because I
have chucked out a lot of friends, like I filtered out a lot of friends, you know, because of that thing,
because they will, especially to college, first year, there was this person. So he was like, this is Prasad,
you should have it. I'm like, No, but I don't have another you should have I don't, why, why is he doing?
And then I took it, and I gave it to my friend what to say, but ever since that I mentioned, can you
eliminate this person because I don't want to be- be around with someone who wasn't tolerant to who
wasn't accepted, you know, like, I couldn't accept the other side of me as well. Because I want to find a
define a group of people who would be absolutely fine, and who would be generally interested to know
the other side of it as well. And similarly, in the Anglo- Indian setting, first of all, they're very rare to find.
So so some of them who I was friends with most of them, I saw, eventually, they sort of like started
liking the, the other Bengali background as well, although I don't talk to them on a regular basis. But
eventually they sort of started liking that. And they understood that and I, at times, I see them posting
pictures of the Durgapuja’s  going back and opening and all that so eventually, they got into it. So yeah.

Female 1: Do your parents or anyone caution you about who to make friends with depending on your
identity?

Male 1: Yeah definitely.

Female 1: (Laughs)
Male 1: Yes, my mom, definitely. My mom used to tell me that, you know, that Be careful of, you know,
the Bengali side of it, because they become very threatening and very deceptive. Which they turned out
to be eventually. I recently had an experience also with them. And from a very senior on a young like, on
a very senior professional. I had that experience for them. I was very disappointed, very, very, very
disappointed. And sort of realized that Okay, so that's why I'm very picky about who myself like. Go with
and because, yes, it's all like, because you are the average of the five people you surround yourself with.
So that's why I try to keep that five, average, like really high, but I'm comfortable with.

Female 1: Okay, that's like a good tip for me. I will take that note. (Chuckles)  Yeah. So that that
cautioning that comes was only, I mean, how do you think your mom kind of decipher that?
Male 1: I would say like, I don't know, like, I think my mom is, my mom has really high EQ, I think there is
this EQ.
Female 1: Yeah, emotional quotient. Male 1: Yeah, she has a really, really high EQ and me being very
impatient. And, and I'm very impatient. I don't like sort of, like, I want instant results and everything. So I
tend to like jump to conclusions very soon. And I don't sort of like, think about it in the long process or
you know, like, wait for things to like smoothen out and then understand the person completely. So,
yeah.

Female 1: When- when  you make friends, are you looking for similarities? Are you looking for
differences?

Male 1: I look for similarities, mostly and differences, differences, I try to differences, I generally try to
look for differences. I, I do not actually, I look for similarities, mostly on differences, I only look at
differences when, if that particular thing which I don't have, like, suppose if somebody is like really
couldn't finance and investing, I would like, right now I'm interested in that field. So- so I will look for
people who are like really good at that. And I want to, you know, mingle with them and try to learn that
thing from them. But then again, I realize that there are people who are useful to you and the people
who are happy for you. So I need to like sort of like, segregate that also. Yeah.
Female 1: Do you think your identity, your cross cultural entity played any role in determining your
access to social opportunities? Education? Definitely, because you mentioned the school and
everything, but outside education, maybe in the workplace, or maybe the job offer that you just have?
Do you think your cross cultural entry kind of played any role in determining your access to that?

Male 1: I think, no, no, this from my perspective, that's what I think it did. Because- because I remember
the director of the mentioned company, which I will be going in, and that that company director
specifically said that we want to, I'm sorry, just-

Female 1: Yeah. Want to have some water, you can do that.

Male 1: That person specifically mentioned that we weren't really looking for a person who would be
great with tech. But you know, just-just like more than that, we're looking for a person who can, you
know, relate to people from varied backgrounds. And you know, they are comfortable speaking with
them and are like, be comfortable gelling up with people like different walks of life. And that's what
moved him because the fact that I used to jumble with kids like, like, I used to jumble this life of college
life. And then on the weekends, I usually go to (inaudible 1:32:58) . And then there was this event I used
to organize, and they were kids also. So- so the fact and you know, that's why I think dealing with kids is
a very, very important, a very cautious thing you should be doing because I personally have seen like
how bad things can go. So that's why you need to be very careful. And that's why when you're dealing
with kids, I think, you know, like, when you have that opportunity, because to a kid, maybe the fact that
I am spending five minutes of my time with the kid is just five minutes for me. But for him for that
particular kid. When I spend that five minutes with him, he will probably try to be aspire.  Didn't like
probably that that will change his life completely. Maybe he will want to aspire to be some someone like
me or something like that. It just completely changes the entire course of his life. So it's very important
how I come off as you know, the kids and everything. So that's why.

Female 1: Yeah, do you do you think your identity has plays a role in determining how others treat
you? The attitudes of others towards you for any reason do you think is influenced because of your
identity?

Make 1: Yes, it is. Yes, it is.

Female 1: How does that vary?

Male 1: I mean Okay, wait, can I just finish that answer which I was saying? 
Female 1: Yeah, sure. Sure. So sorry. Sorry.
Male 1: No, no, I just want to say one thing, because the kind of experience which I had with, you know,
in school and the stereotyping thing, which happened your- your videos for them? Sorry. My Network?
Yeah. Yeah. So- so what I try to be is that I try to be the example to those kids. Because, I mean, I mean, I
want to be an example to the future, like the future generation of Anglo-Indian is just, no, don't try to be
in that box. And no matter what people say, like you in the current situation, just just..just ignore that.
Keep, keep doing what you're doing. Because eventually at the end of the day, like they're not going to
see how much you score. wouldn't 10th grade or 12th grade or whatever it is…. Eventually what you
exactly want to do, you will eventually be able to do as long as you have that skill set. So to me, that's
what I think it's very important to sort of like reach out to the young generation of anglo indian so that
they don't get stereotyped into a box because I took it in a positive way. Some other kids might not be
able to, and they sort of like accept that is their reality, and that's how they're supposed to be and it's
sort of because it happens I've seen kids doing that, this is why I am this, this is what I want to know do,
No this is not who you are, whatever you want to define yourself to be. That is what so it's sort of like
sad. So that's why I think kids are very important. Like especially with that. Sorry just had to finish that.
Female 1: No, thanks. That's a very valid point. And I'll start with asking you whether your identity
plays a role in determining how others behave with you or the attitude towards you or their
behaviour towards you.

Male 1: Yeah, yeah, yes. And I can say it only using my college perspective. You know, that's the only
thing I will say. They try to be a little bit sort of like composed I don't know why when they see an anglo
indian, they try to be more composed and sort of like you know, like in a very lady like a jet when like
manner like, like shit, like, chill, relax. I'm not gonna judge you. Relax. So they try to be composed and
suddenly look cold and everything and you know, they like be a bit. I don't know. According to their
terms, they want to have a standard and they want to look properly composed, and that's what they do.

Female 1: Okay, And what about, say, Anglo Indian seen you and knowing that you are, you know, I
wouldn't say 100% Anglo Indian, but you know, there's some other influence in you. Did you ever kind
of feel that just because you had another influence; You had another world in your identity, did that
ever alter behaviour, their attitude towards you? Like I used to be called “khatta pani” because khatta
pani has this connotation with tamarind and tamarind is a flavour of a South. So and this used to be
called these are my father's relatives. So yeah, so it's an Anglo Indian setting and this is happening to
you. So I'm wondering whether in your experience given the fact that you know, you belong towards
Bengali and Anglo Indian when you are in an Anglo Indian gathering, the way Anglo Indians interact
with you; did you ever feel that this because okay, I'm not a pure anglo-indian hence, I'm being told
this.

Male 1: My dad said that once. He told me like, like I was actually I didn't like having a particular dish a
particular way so you know, so I was like, How did my own or something and then he was like, you
becoming a Bengali! Okay, like the next thing you do, you put dal and biryani and have him like what? I
mean that has no relation to it but yeah, I think my dad just mean that one of, but it wasn't very affected
me in a very bad way. He was like, Okay, fine. I'm not supposed to like but I still continue and continued
it. Yeah, I just remember that. And yes, recall actually almost forgot.

Female 1: Do you think the fact that you come from two different worlds widens your scope, your
opportunities and everything else?

Male 1: Yes, I think it does. Because specifically with storytelling, and I mean, storytelling and the
experiences which I had like, like if I wasn't from a Bengali cultural background, so I wouldn't get
introduced to like, the literature, the heritage, the history of the city I'm living in specifically. It's sort of
like created a sense of belonging and sort of define who I am. Because Anglo Indians and Bengali
community go hand in hand. That's what I think. And Calcutta is defined by that. That's what I think.
Because calcutta is defined by you know, that history. So I don't think one can exist without the another.
That's what I think so I think I'm the perfect representation of what calcutta is, that's what I think. I
mean, and I think I should know more about both of them and also like, sort of like, I don't know, like,
because of the fact that anglo Indians are rare and whatever, you know, and there is already all sorts of
negative stereotyping which goes and which is sad, which is very sad, which I think so. I mean, I
personally don't like when people sort of like judge you based on who you are.

Female 1: Has this made you like more tolerant and empathetic towards others who are also in the
same position as you. Have you seen your tolerance levels go up because you didn't mention that it's
very important, obviously, to be careful how you treat children, That's because it's your own personal
experience. So can you say that, you know, in other words, your cross cultural identity has actually
made you more tolerant and empathetic towards other people?

Male 1: Yes, I mean, it has but then again, I have this thing that like, I don't like people complaining
about things like okay, don't complain. I mean, I really understand where they come from and what
happens but then again, like I'm there if they are looking for some thing, like, if they really want to work
on it and change it, that's fine. But then again, that's a personal thing. That I mean, it's a personal thing,
but in general, I understand what they feel. That's what I would say, you know, you understand, like,
what are they going through.

Female 1: has any question kind of provoked you the most about your identity? Like not made you
upset but made you really angry?

Male 1: No, not really. I haven't faced anything like that

Female 1: Are you like very comfortable now in your own skin in the fact that you have to explain your
energy to other people?

Male 1: Yes, yes. Now I am now it's easier for me to explain myself.

Female 1: How do you feel every time after you describe yourself do you feel confused? Do you feel
like Okay, have they understood how they how they got my point across? Do you feel socially
drained?

Male 1: Socially drained, definitely. And especially if I have to explain myself over a call or that you can’t
see that person sort of gives me anxiety maybe, like, what is he thinking what sort of like gives me
anxiety? Not anxiety specifically, it's like, you know, I end up overthinking like, did he understood? Is he
okay? what is his reaction what you thinking?

Female 1: Okay, How do you feel living two worlds at the same time?

Male 1: Just a second, it's frozen again I don't know what's wrong with this?

Female 1: okay don’t worry! how do you feel living towards at the same time? That's my last thing. I'm
gonna end this. I know it's been like super draining for you to answer everything. But yeah, I just want
to end on this note. I mean how does it feel living towards?
Male 1: at times I feel proud that like I feel lucky that you know I have this connection to both of the
worlds and it sort of gives me a lot of perspective in about life in general and like, I can have experiences
from different people from different walks of life and different cultural backgrounds. It sort of gives me a
lot of variation to work with, because I generally like sort of like serving my data with everybody else
and like the kind of person I am, I really like being a jack of all trait. I would say that's what I become.
When I'm cross cultural and as I like it I mean, it gets tiring at times. Although when you know, when
people don't understand that I'm here to explain, but it's fine. But eventually like I've started liking both
at the fine because the more that I can explain that and it's good because to me, I think I represent a
cultural barrier and under specific community and I'm proud of that.

Female 1: okay! There are times where you choose one over the other there are times that you
straddle both.

Male 1: Yeah

Female 1: Is there anything that you want to ask me that you would like to know more than I mean,
throughout this entire process you've been talking and I have been listening so in case you want to
ask me anything about you know, my personal experiences you're most welcome to!

Male 1: What made you choose this topic for your final thesis paper?

Female 1: Okay, so firstly, my entire journey has started out with this anglo indian identity because
sitting in that, so it started with my MA. And that point in time, I was in a new location in Delhi and
nobody there was no other anglo indian in my class. So I thought that if I did the school teachers on
anglo Indians, you know, it would get like, a lot of attention. And I was right! It did get a lot of
attention but also bad attention, negative attention in the sense that people started questioning
where I belonged. Whether I was Indian or whether I was a firang whether Fitzgerald was okay. And
the university they have a system of putting the names on the board, right. So anybody can see those
names. And obviously if this Fitzgerald sticking out it as good as any Northeastern names to so they
will be like “acha ye kon hai ye to shayad firing hoga!”. Like I've heard that being said in front of me.
Somebody's looking at the board. So I kind of realised that this is what was happening, but then I was
very naive about it. You know, I was like, Okay, I'm still gonna get my marks. I'm still gonna be able to
in thesis, no problem. So I did my MA and I did a pretty good job at it. And then I went to the MPhil.
And so it's something that I've been working on from the MA identity. And then I went to the Mphil
and then I remember I met you and a couple of others for focus group discussion. There I was very
interested in looking at how it varied in different regions for the Anglo Indians in Calcutta versus Anglo
Indians in Portugal, two different things because India is so diverse with different regions, and it
captured and that also release reveal the whole sense of politics within the community itself, because
Anglo Indians so you, I've heard people say that Anglo indians of the South are not Anglo Indians, per
se. There are some other things because they don't speak English. Well, the whole politics of language
comes into place, you know, and definitely you cannot speak English if you're an anglo indian, and I
think that's so unjust. And so these kind of questions kept playing on my mind and then it came to the
end of the PhD topic where I started my proposal, and then I went my supervisor, and I said to him, I
want to do a PhD. And she said ya! So we were sitting in brainstorming, and she told me, she said,
please ensure that you don't do another thesis on anglo indian, because he already had two. And then
she's like, pick a topic that's kind of relatable to a lot of people and I was thinking I work very closely
with an entity and say something, what is the what is going on that i am not getting, and then I
started, like, kind of like, turn the mirror inwards to myself and I said, Look, I'm not only anglo indian,
right? I've also got this motherly influence that is very much there because my mother is from Kerala,
and I've ignored that aspect all throughout my life. I mean, I'm ashamed to say it but it's an aspect
that I kind of ignored and it's very subdued and toned down like I don't even speak Malayalam I can
understand but I don't speak I don't read at least you do it. You kind of follow I follow the cultural
practices, but I cannot speak it or anything. But I have been to my mother’s place and I want to share
a lot with my mom's family because they're talking in Malayalam and they like, you know, saying
things like, Oh, you know, you're so cute . You're so nice. And they don't ask you that. I know that. If
not If that's what you're telling me. So don't think I'm so dumb. But then at the same time, I felt very
out of place and I've been thinking about these experiences and I'm like, you know, why is this
happening? Why did I kind of you know, tone down one and not play to the other? So, and then I
realised, I'm sure that there are different people who are going to be experiencing this and that's
where I started opening up this conversation. So it started out as a fluke, like I wasn't very serious
about doing a topic and prospects or mphil and then I realised I said, No, this story's having
connection and that's when I started the blog. And the minute I started the blog, I was getting
reactions towards and I was like, Okay, this is seeing like that there is a common thread that's
connecting people so I can do that. Let me know and then I did a lot of like looking up online and a lot
of research to see whether there's any existing work that's done. But a lot of the work that I find is
only on marriage, like you know, cross cultural marriages and interested marriages but they're no
stories of people who are wanting to this marriage. I mean, what happens to their experiences? How
do they negotiate? Is it a good thing or is it a bad thing? So I was like, all these other questions get
buzzing in my head and I was like, no, let's just do this pieces. So it's like a broadening from anglo-
indian to anglo Indian gets in different regions to now, people from different regions, but that's the
way that I kind of have looked at it. So that's why it's not easy. It's not easy at all interviewing this
because I'm having such trouble getting people to talk. Not everybody is willing to talk somehow very,
like, like I spoke to somebody who told me that, you know, I'm sorry, but after having spoken to the
first time it's gonna trigger memories and very unpleasant ones. But then I've also had the same time
that I have people told me that you know, because after having spoken to you, I can speak to other
people about my personal thing. So it's like two different ends of the spectrum. But nonetheless, I
mean, okay, if you're on board with me on this journey, great. I mean, I'm taking this pretty seriously
because I'm going to kind of probably write a book on this where I'm inviting people to write certain
chapters on the book and get this published, especially in international cover and that's what I wanted
to. I mean if I can just switch off the recording if there's anything else that you want to tell me.

Male 1: Just like you said about the marriages thing I would say one thing especially when you're cross
cultural kid it's difficult to find a date it is, I'm not kidding it is because you don't find like, you can't date
like a malayali or like you know like because as a capitalist he wants to like understand both the culture
completely and when you sort of date like complete anglo-indian You obviously would want some
malayali you know, like at least you understand or something like that.

Female 1: Of course, like you finally on my dating experiences that I have not, I mean, for some reason
I don't like Anglo Indian guys. I mean, I find them I don’t mean to sound arrogant, but I somehow
cannot. I don't go for both community. The people who have an interest in me are not from either
community. But I kind of find a very interesting to talk to somebody who's not from my community,
but then for me, it kind of plays a different you know, because I'm seeing that this woman with a PhD
and you know, oh, you're smarter than me type. So now I don't want my girlfriend to be so smart, you
know, so, I have been told that to my face that you know, you're too difficult to handle. So I'm like,
Screw you. I'm much more happier the way I am right now. I mean, living on your own terms, being
independent, being single, so I have no issues but I have good fun with guys, you know, in the sense
that the way they come to me with their questions, try to figure out whether I'm, you know, a
foreigner and I'm Anglo Indian family and malayali how do I manage? It first starts with curiosity, and
then it kind of goes into!

Male 1: what's the future?

Female 1: ya ya, like where are you going?

Male 1: I think that would be like a big hit with the things like because that is one of the concerning
thing, especially when it comes from this mix. thing and you want for like the both world balance
because one without the other is a bit like a hollow and you're not the only one on the board with the
anglo Indian and right okay, your videos, please forget sorry.

Female 1: No, that's okay.

Male 1: Yeah, and you're not the only one regarding you know, the Anglo Indian guys, you don't want to
date girls for say. I mean, it's fine. I mean, I don't want to stereotype but then again, it's like I talked to
some of them like huh? I mean, yeah, sure, enjoy your Kardashians. Whatever it is.

Female 1: Can i just stop the recording right now because i have to officially transcribe of this. we can
then they have this conversation. Yeah. I just stopped the recording. I won't stop the meeting.