INTERACTIONALCOMMUNICATION

Handling Conversations Effectively

LISTENING TO COMMUNICATE
Communication is not always about speaking; it also requires a great deal of listening.

 The best communicators are good listeners.

Assumptions about Listening

 Most people pay more attention to sending messages than receiving
them. This imbalance comes from several mistaken assumption.

Faulty Assumption No.1

Effective Communication is the sender’s responsibility-

Management expert Peter Drucker recognized that communication depends on the receiver as well
as the sender when he wrote, “It is the recipient who communicates.

According to Drucker, the so-called communicator, the person who emits the
communication, does not communicate. Unless there is someone who hears, there is only noise.”

Faulty Assumption 2: Listening is Passive

 Some communicators mistakenly assume that listening is basically a passive activity in

which the receiver is a sponge, quietly absorbing the speaker’s thoughts. In fact,
good listening is hard work.

Sometimes you have to speak while listening—to ask questions or paraphrase the sender’s ideas,
making sure you have understood them. A good listener is an active communicator.

Faulty Assumption 3:
Talking has more Advantages

At first glance, it seems that speakers control conversations while listeners are the followers. The
people who do the talking are the ones who capture everyone’s attention, so it’s easy to
understand how talking can be viewed as the pathway to success.

Faulty Assumption 4:
Listening is a Natural Ability

Listening may seem like a natural ability like breathing. After all, you might say, “I’ve been listening
since I was a child.” We could all say the same thing about talking; but even though almost everyone
does it, this doesn’t mean most people do it well.
Listening is a skill, which means you can develop it further through practice.

Barriers to Effective Listening

  Despite the importance of understanding others, research suggests that misunderstandings are the
rule rather than the exception. Conversational patterns typically achieve no more than 25 to 50
percent accuracy in interpreting each other’s remarks.
 Research shows that immediately after a 10-minute presentation, a normal listener can recall only
50 percent of the information presented. After 48 hours, the recall level drops to 25 percent.
 Environmental Barriers-
The racket on a factory floor or the conversational buzz in a crowded room can
make it hard to hear and process messages.
Not all environmental barriers are about sound.

 Ironically, some environmental distractions come from the very tools we use to communicate.
Incoming calls, text messages, and e-mails can distract us from focusing on a conversational
partner.

Suggest moving your conversation to a quieter location. Eliminate distractions and annoyances:
(“That perfume at the table next to us is getting to me. Can we move?”)

Choose more reliable communication channels:

(“Let me call you back on the landline.”)

Physiological Barriers

 For some people, poor listening results from actual hearing deficiencies. Once recognized, they
can usually be treated. Other hearing problems, such as earaches and headaches, are temporary.
 Whether the problem is short-term or permanent, the effects can be problematic. Hearing isn’t the
only physiological barrier to listening.
 Processing difficulties, such as auditory discrimination, sequencing, or memory can create the
appearance of not listening or paying attention when the real problem is physiological.
 Another challenge comes from the difference between the relatively slow rate of most speech and
the brain’s ability to process messages more quickly. This difference leaves us with a great deal
of mental spare time.
 Some of the most pervasive and daunting barriers to effective listening are psychological, which
interfere with people’s willingness to listen as well as their mental capacity for effective listening.

PREOCCUPATION- Business and personal concerns can make it difficult to keep your mind on the
subject at hand. Even when your current conversation is important, other unfinished business can divert
your attention.

 Message Overload-
“Multi communicating” makes it hard to focus on a person and listen to what they say. It’s hard to listen
carefully when people keep dropping in to give you quick messages; a coworker has just handed you cost
estimates on a new product line; and your smartphones continually beeps to remind you of some tasks.

 Egocentrism. Once common reason for listening poorly is belief—usually mistaken—that your
own ideas are more important or valuable than others. Self-centered listeners are rated lower on
social attractiveness than communicators open to others’ ideas.
  Ethnocentrism. Cultural ignorance or prejudices can create psychological noise that interferes
with understanding others. Consider accents; some communicators mistakenly assume accented
speakers are less intelligent and less able to understand spoken words.

Listening Styles

 Not everyone listens the same way. Research has identified that people have a general listening
style, or a particular motivation for listening
 An effective listener is a flexible listener and has a growth mindset to keep harnessing their skills.

Types of Listeners

 Relational Listeners are the most concerned with emotionally connecting with others.
They listen tounderstand how others feel, are aware of their emotions, and are highly
responsive to those individuals.
 are usually non judgmental about what others have to say. They are more interested in
understanding and supporting people than in evaluating them.

 Task-Oriented Listeners are most interested in getting the job done. Efficiency is their biggest
concern; they expect speakers to get their point across quickly and to stay topic.
Not surprisingly, task-oriented listeners are impatient. In a fast-paced business
environment, task-oriented listeners can help keep things functioning efficiently.
 Analytical Listeners are concerned about attending to thefull message before coming to
judgment. They want to hear details and analyze an issue from a variety of perspectives.
More than just enjoying complex information, these listeners have a tendency to engage in
systematic thinking.
 Critical Listeners have a strong desire to evaluate messages. They may or may not
apply the tools of analytical listening, but in either case, they go beyond trying to
understand the topic at hand try to assess its quality. Not surprisingly, critical
listeners tend to focus on the accuracy and consistency of a message.

Listening More Effectively

 Social scientists have identified two levels of listening—mindless and mindful.

1. Mindless listening- occurs when we react to others’ messages automatically and routinely, without
much mental investment.

 The term mindless sounds negative, but sometimes this sort of low-level processing can be useful
because it frees us to focus our minds on messages that require our careful attention.
 Mindful listening involves giving careful and thoughtful attention and responses to the messages
we receive.

How to boost your accuracy in listening mindfully to the message:

 Withhold Judgment. Stephen Covey said it best, “Seek first to understand than to be
understood.”

 Talk and Interrupt Less. The best conversationalists are those who can make a person talk
more.
 Ask Questions. Sincere questions are genuine requests for information.

 Paraphrase. Restate ideas in your own wordsto make sure you have understood the message
correctly and to show the other person that fact.

 Attend to Nonverbal Cues. Read their body language.

 Take notes. When the conversation involves details or ideas you need to
remember, notes can be essential.