Lee Bok - Little Book of Bling! (2005)

Crombie Jardine
PUBLISHING LIMITED
13 Nonsuch Walk, Cheam, Surrey, SM2 7LG

www.crombiejardine.com
This edition was first published by

Crombie Jardine Publishing Limited in 2005
Copyright © 2005,
Crombie Jardine Publishing Limited
All rights are reserved. No part of this publication may be

reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted,
in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical,
photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior
written permission of the publisher.
ISBN 1-905102-21-6
Written by Marc Blake

Illustration by Rob Smith
Design/Typesetting by Alastair Williams & Stewart Ferris
Printed and bound in the United Kingdom by

William Clowes Ltd, Beccles, Suffolk
The_Little_Book_Of_Bling.pmd 2 26/01/2005, 19:51

Contents
BLING FACTS ....................................... 5

BLING ICON No.1 ............................... 14
BLING PETS ........................................ 16
BLING ICON No.2 ............................... 18
ESSENTIAL BLING ............................. 20
BLING DRINKS ................................... 22
FOOTWEAR ........................................ 24
JEWELLERY ........................................ 26
HO’s HO. .............................................. 28
BLING ICON No.3 ............................... 30
BLING RAP .......................................... 33
BLING RIP ........................................... 34
BLING ICON No.4 ............................... 35
TOO OLD TO BLING? ......................... 38
BLING ICON No.5 ............................... 45
ON VA PARLER BLING ....................... 48

FAMOUS BLING SAYINGS ................. 72
BLING ICON No.6 ............................... 82
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF BLING.. 84
THE BIBLE OF BLING ......................... 94
WHERE NOT TO GET YOUR BLING .. 95
BLING ICON No.7 ............................... 96
BLING SONGS .................................... 99
BOGUS BLING ICONS ...................... 100
BLING ICON No.8 ............................. 102
BLING? OR RICH WHITE TRASH? .. 105
BLING ICON No.9 ............................. 109
LOVE IS BLING ................................. 112
BLING ICON No.10 ........................... 114
BLING JOKES ................................... 118
BLING ICON No.11 ............................ 120
THE BLING PRAYER ........................ 122

BLING FACTS
The expression ‘Bling’ was

first coined by BG of the New
Orleans rap family Cash
Money Millionaires in the late
1990s to describe the
imaginary sound produced
when light reflects off a
diamond. The term spread
quickly and ‘bling bling’ now
means conspicuous wealth

combined with pointless
expenditure.
In 1986 the Hip-Hop group

Run-DMC made a fashion
statement by wearing their
Adidas trainers with no
laces. This, combined with
trench coats and big
jewellery, influenced Hip-
Hop style. Run-DMC
released a song My Adidas,

which appeared on their
album Raising Hell. They
later got their own line of
trainers out of Adidas.
Around the time, clothing

companies started designing
Hip-Hop styles. Russell
Simmons, brother of group-
member Run, was the first to
start his own line based on
the music.

Before they formed NWA,
Dr. Dre and Ice Cube
recorded a parody of My
Adidas called My Penis.

YOU IS TOTALLY
BLINGING WHEN…...
✧ Asprey get a new

diamond and they ask
YOU to appraise it.
✧ You sell two of your

chains and the gold
market goes belly up.
✧ You win an MTV award

for the most sexist
language.

YOU IS TOTALLY
BLINGING WHEN…...
✧ You can afford a limo with

MTV, bar - and jacuzzi.
✧ You can boast more than

five attempts on your life.
✧ Snoop Dogg & Wyclef

Jean come to you for
fashion tips.
✧ You drive a bullet-proof

Popemobile.
10

YOU IS TOTALLY
BLINGING WHEN…...
✧ You make the top ten

‘most wanted’ list for a
second year.
✧ You’ve so many
illegitimate kids they
name the orphanage
after you.
✧ Your Adidas contract is

worth more than the third
world debt.
11

Bling Places...
Brooklyn
New York
Compton
Watts
12

Not Bling Places…
Bournemouth
Yeovil
Croydon
Watford
13

BLING ICON No.1
HUGGY BEAR
Antonio Fargas was in many
‘blaxploitation’ films of the
1970s including Shaft,
Cleopatra Brown and I’m
Gonna Git You Sucka. As
Huggy Bear in Starsky and
Hutch, he wore a mink coat with
rainbow colours and owned a
bar called The Pits. A snitch, he
was the template for every
14

pimp character in every TV
show or film from the 1970s
onwards. In 2004 he moved
from the urban to the real jungle
and appeared in I’m a Celebrity
Get Me Out of Here (he lost to
a squeaky-voiced comic).
When the film version of
Starsky and Hutch was
released in 2004, Huggy Bear
was played by Snoop Dogg.
15

BLING PETS
Bling Dogs... Not...
Weimaraner Whippet
Doberman Dachshund
pinscher
Snoop Dogg Scrappy Doo
The pet you really need to

impress… ‘Bling Kong’!
16

Cats
Lion
Tiger
Jaguar
Anything whose pelt looks good on the
upholstery of your Caddy/lapels/shoes
Other bling pets

Panda
Cobra
Parrot
(if you can train it to say ‘Mo-fo’ or ‘Whupass’)
Koi Carp
Trout
Fox (urban variety)
Funnel Web spider
Shiatsu
17

BLING ICON No.2
MR T
“I pity the fool...”
The coolest man in The A-Team

(not so difficult), Laurence
Tureaud was born in the
Southside area of Chicago. He
became a professional wrestler
and tag team partner to Hulk
Hogan and was twice named
the USA’s toughest bouncer
(“pity the fool that comes in here
18

in jeans or trainers”). He was
also a bodyguard for Steve
McQueen, Diana Ross and
Mohammed Ali. Since The A-
Team was axed he has resided
in L.A. with a poodle called Mr
Snuffles. OK, so I made up that
last bit. Don’t tell him.
“I believe in the
Golden Rule –
the man with the
gold... rules.”
19

ESSENTIAL BLING
Wheels
Lex (Lexus)
Benz (Merc)
Bentley
Slade (Cadillac Escalade)
Lincoln Continental
Str-e-etch Limo
20

Cars that don’t cut it
Ford Ka
Ford Focus
(even if it does belong to yo momma)
Stretch Nissan Cherry

(cut ‘n’ shut)
Skoda
Smart Car
21

BLING DRINKS
Hot... Not...
Cristal Cava
(Roederer Cristal)
Dom P Daquiri
(Dom Perignon)
Hen / Henry Half a lager

(Hennessy cognac) ’n’ lime
22

White diamonds
not
Diamond White
✧
Chablis
not
Cherryade
✧
Slammers
not
Snakebite
23

FOOTWEAR
Hot... Not...
Timbs Hush Puppies
(Timberland)
Nike Air Dr Scholl
Converse Sandal / sock

combo
Adidas Slippers
24

Hot trainers...
Jordans
Converse
Air Force Ones
Not...
Your stinky Pumas
25

JEWELLERY
Hot... Not...
Asprey Elizabeth Duke

at Argos
Tiffany Topshop
Rolex HM Samuel
26

US Stores
Hot... Not...
Tiffany Wal-Mart
Saks Sears
Neiman Markus Kmart
27

HO’S HO
24-carat minted bling
Lil’ Kim
Beyonce
Missy Elliott
J-Lo
Queen Latifa
Mariah Carey
Latoya Jackson
28

Get yo’ bitch ass
outta town
Jordan
Jade Goody
Victoria Beckham
Dido
Britney
Paris Hilton
Charlotte Church
29

BLING ICON No.3
ELVIS PRESLEY
Elvis Aaron Presley of East
Tupelo Mississippi gave birth to
Rock ’n’ Roll and sold one
billion records. No fewer than
149 gold, platinum and multi
platinum records adorn
Graceland. He made 31
movies, including Jailhouse
Rock and King Creole.
30

In 1969 Elvis played 57 dates
in Vegas and broke all box
office records. He is the only
person to be a member of three
Halls of Fame: Rock ’n’ Roll,
Gospel, and Country.
He gave away Cadillacs, cash

and jewellery, wore black and
white rhinestone-studded
jumpsuits, rings and scarves
and grew obese on deep fried
peanut butter and banana
sandwiches, and ice cream.
31

He once sent his personal jet
to Denver for a burger. He died
in his bathroom from a massive
overdose of cocaine and
barbiturates.
He’s still topping the charts,

with a re-release of ‘One Night’
becoming the 1,000th No.1
single in the UK (January
2005). Accept no imitations;
he’s the King of Bling.
Thengyewvermuch.
Elvis has left the building.
32

BLING RAP
Ice-T
NWA
Dr. Dre
Snoop Dogg
Busta Rhymes
Wu-Tang Clan
P. Diddy
OutKast
33

BLING RIP
2Pac
Notorious BIG
Jam Master Jay
34

BLING ICON No.4
QUEEN
ELIZABETH II
The only living woman who is
‘right on the money’…and the
stamps.
She has been Head of State of

the United Kingdom and the
Commonwealth for fifty years,
can form a government and
35

shakes hands wearing white
gloves just like Michael
Jackson.
The Crown Jewels include the

Orb, which is made from
unmarked gold and set with
600 precious stones and
pearls, and the Sovereign’s
Sceptre which is decorated
with 393 precious stones,
including the 530-carat,
Cullinan I diamond – the largest
top quality cut diamond in the
world. Blingin’, ma’am (best not
36

call her a bitch or a Ho, even at
a garden party)!
“Like
all the best
families, we
have our share of
eccentricities,
wayward youngsters
and family
disagreements.”
37

TOO OLD TO BLING?
You know you’re too old to bling

when ...
Your last CD
failed to get a
parental advisory
sticker.
38

Your limo has
stretch marks.
Your bitch went

off with another
bitch...
…and you didn’t

get to watch or
film it.
39

You think this
book is about
your favourite
crooner, Bling
Crosby.
You failed to get

into this year’s
Ho’s Ho.
40

Your rings are
valued at 100% –
pure alloy.
You got more on

eBay for your
hubcaps than for
your car.
41

You sport a
bangin’ set of
gold teeth – in a
jar by the bed.
Your doctor tells

you that you are
more Hip Op
than Hip Hop.
42

Your pimp cane
really is used for
walking.
You get a
diamond-encrusted
Zimmer frame.
43

You stop going
to Dr. Dre ...
because he is
not a real
doctor.
44

BLING ICON No.5
SIR JIMMY
SAVILLE
James Wilson Vincent Saville
was a miner, bouncer and club
manager before becoming the
mos def DJ in Britain.
With his cool catchphrases –

‘howsaboutthatthen’ and
‘eueueueueu’ – he became the
45

first and longest-lasting
presenter of BBC TV’s Top of
the Pops. He presented Jim’ll
Fix It from 1971 to 1991 and
by 2002 had taken part in 214
marathons – all this whilst
being completely barking
doolally treefrog.
At 74 he is the Godfather of
Bling.
The rings, the tracksuits, the

platinum mullet-style hair, the
medallions, the cigars, the
46

dead mother’s clothes... He da
man!
“Jim
has fixed
it for you.”
“Now then now then
now then.”
“Goodness gracious,
lovely lovely.
Eueueueueeu!”
47

ON VA
PARLER BLING
A
glossary
of
Hip-Hop
terms.
48

AKS
interrogative.
“Lemme aks you a question –
mo-fo.”
BUSTA CAP
To shoot a cap, most often in
yo ass (not a donkey).
49

BOOTY
A lady’s rear end.
Also –licious. Desirable.
BITCH
Girlfriend. See ‘HO’.
50

BLING
n. synonym for expensive,
flashy jewellery sported by
African-American Hip-Hop
artists and middle class
Caucasian adolescents. And
Chavs.
v. to ‘bling-bling’; the act of

sporting jewellery of an
extravagant, gaudy nature.
51

CRIB
Place of residence.
Not ‘Crip’ – an L.A. gang.
DOWN
Curiously, up.
I am in accordance with it. I am
up for it.
“Put it down on the highest
shelf.”
52

DISS
You have undermined my
authority and / or shown me no
respect and cap bustage will
now occur.
DSL
abbrev.
Dick Sucking Lips.
See ‘HO’.
53

E
Drug of choice for gurning,
loved-up fools.
FUGLY
Fucking ugly.
FLAVA
Taste.
“Pardon me ma’am, yo flava is
somewhat tuna.”
54

FIDDY
Half a hundred.
“Yo, shit, Issac Hayes be at
least fiddy years ol’.”
Also the rapper: Fiddy cent.
GANK
To steal.
“He ganked my car and I only
TWOC-ed it today.”
55

HOMIE
Friend, ally.
Not homosexual.
HO
Whore, girlfriend, lover, life
partner. See ‘BITCH’.
ICE
To kill.
“I iced him.”
Also Ice-T – early gangsta
rapper, best taken with lemon.
56

JET
To leave.
“We gotta jet outta here, mo-
fo.”
J-LO
Actress and singer known for
her bootylicious rear end.
57

KAZOO
Toothbrush.
Platinum kazoo – electric
toothbrush.
LL COOL J
A rapper of some distinction
(not Welsh).
58

LOC
Pronounced ‘loke’ – a term
describing the level of gangster.
“That gangsta is well loc.”
MEAN DANIEL
Oral sex.
“Bitch give me a mean Daniel.”
59

MO-FO
Mother fucker.
Not literally an Oedipal
relationship but an all-purpose
term of greeting and/or
derision.
“Yo mo-fo Judge. How’s it
hangin’? ... Wha’ yo’ mean,
Death Row?”
60

NIGGA
Also, Niggas/z. Person of
African-American descent. A
term of endearment. (Do not
use if you are Caucasian.)
OPRAH
To confess to bizarre sexual
arrangements.
“Mo-fo just Oprah’d up to
bangin’ his cousin.”
61

PHAT
Not a term of abuse for yo
momma, but a good, wicked or
frosted thing.
POONTANG
Puntang, punanny, pooty, poot,
pouch, pussy – female genitalia
/ beef curtains / camel’s hoof
etc...
62

PLAYA
Not a Spanish beach.
Someone who has gained
respect – often by maiming his
rivals.
QUEEN LATIFA
A respected lady rapper of
note.
63

RESPEC
Vitally important on the street
when dealing with bitches,
homies, bloods, crips, etc.
S’UP
interrogative.
“What’s happening? What
s’up?”
64

SHIT
(1) Stuff. “Where’s my shit?”
(2) Exclamation. “Shit! Where’s
my shit?!”
(3) Deceit. “Are you shittin’ me?
I said ‘Where’s my shit?’”
(4) Drugs. “Not my shit, my
shit.”
(5) Insult. “Shit you, you shit.”
(6) Excrement. “Shit, anyone
here smell poo?”
65

TIGHT
Attractive.
“Your car is tight. The rims are
blinging.”
UZI
Israeli sub-machine gun.
Popular with urban gangstas.
VERSACE
Expensive clothing label.
66

VUITTON
Louis.
Expensive luggage label.
VIETNAMESE
BEAN-WAX
Crack cocaine. Don’t aks.
WHIP
Car. Again, don’t aks.
67

WEED
Marijuana or reefer.
Also bhudda, shwag, mota,
bud, mary-jane, dodo, green,
fire, smoke, peace stick, watar,
bluntos, bud, chronic, doja,
banga, ganja, dank, sticky icky,
indo, talkin’ turtle, hootith and
pot.
68

WACK / WHACK
Not to one’s liking.
“My Ho refused to allow me to
pot pink and brown. She is
whack.”
X-RATED
Porn and Rap often go hand in
hand. Snoop Dogg united
hardcore and Hip-Hop in
‘HUSTLAZ – Diary of a Pimp.’
69

YAYO
Cocaine. Also yay, yeo,
shnazal, heezy, blow, snow,
powder.
YO
Greeting.
“Yo mo-fo nigga” (again, no
Caucasians, please).
70

ZIRCON
An alloy that is in no way real
bling. Applies to diamante or
anything on the shopping
channel.
71

FAMOUS
BLING
SAYINGS
You can lead a

Ho to water but
you can’t make
the bitch drink.
72

People in
glass houses
be growin’
some serious
weed.
73

To bling or
not to bling
– that is the
muthafucking
question.
(Hamlet)
74

Never look
a gift Ho
in the mouth.
75

Man shall not
live by bling
alone. There
may be also
be a beverage.
76

The bling will
lead the bling…
to Babylon, or
East Croydon.
77

An “I” for an “I”.
A gold tooth for
a gold tooth.
78

In the land of
the bling the
man with the
shades is King.
79

Beauty is
in the eye
of the
bling holder.
80

Too many
bitches spoil
the bling.
81

BLING ICON No.6
KING MIDAS
Phat! This Greek mo-fo

rescued Silenius, the
companion of Dionysus. As a
reward, everything Midas
touched turned to gold: pillars,
drapes – oops! there goes the
maid. After a while he realised
there were problems in the
eating, drinking and toilet
82

departments (dropping a 24-c
log is no fun for anyone), so he
asked to be cured. For this he
bathed in a spring containing a
bunch of dead goldfish.
The Hollies (1960s pop group)

released a song called King
Midas in Reverse – which could
easily describe Michael
Jackson, John Prescott or
Simon Cowell.
83

THE TEN
COMMANDMENTS
OF BLING
I.
Thou shalt
have no
other gods
but Bling.
84

II.
Don’t make
no graven
image
’nless it
be 100%
gold.
85

III.
Don’t cuss
when there
is bitches
in da
room.
86

IV.
Remember
the Saturday,
and keep
that for
partying.
87

V.
Honour yo
momma.
88

VI.
Thou shalt
not kill.
Yeah, right.
89

VII.
Thou shalt
not commit
adultery wit
yo bitch’s
sister ’cus
yo bitch will
find out.
90

VIII.
Thou shalt
not be
caught
stealin’.
91

IX.
Be cool
wit’ yo
neighbour
’less he
got a AK47.
92

X.
Covet yo
neighbour’s
ass but
don’t be
caught
staring at
her rack.
93

THE BIBLE OF
BLING
And lo, Jesus was born of a
baby momma in a crib in the
Bethlehem ’hood. First thing
that turns up? Three brothers
following a star. They bring him
gifts of gold, frankincense and
myrrh. Bling!
94

WHERE NOT
TO GET
YOUR BLING
QVC.
A suitcase in Oxford Street.
Gran
(unless she is Queen Elizabeth II)
Lord of the Bling, Walford Market
95

BLING ICON No.7
BEYONCE
Beyoncé Knowles – a founding
member and chief songwriter of
Destiny’s Child – is one of the
biggest female acts of all time,
selling more than 33 million
records worldwide.
In 2001 Beyoncé won the

ASCAP Pop Songwriter of the
Year Award. This made her the
96

first African-American woman
(and actually only the second
woman ever) to win that award.
Destiny’s Child launched in
1997 with their blingin’ hit, No,
No, No. In 2001 they took home
two Grammy awards.
Beyoncé has worked with

artists ranging from OutKast’s
Big Boi to Missy Elliot, and from
Jay-Z to Luther Vandross.
Beyoncé has a burgeoning
acting career, appearing as
Foxy Cleopatra in Goldmember
97

and can also be seen on the
small screen in a series of
commercials for Pepsi Cola
directed by Spike Lee.
She is the spokesperson for

L’Oreal. Why? Because she’s
worth it.
Bling!
98

BLING SONGS
‘It don’t mean a thing if it

ain’t got that bling’
(Irving Mills)
✧
‘My Bling-a-ling’
(Chuck Berry)
✧
‘Chitty Chitty Bling Bling’
(Sherman bros)
99

BOGUS
BLING ICONS
GARY
GLITTER
Bling!
The silver, the foil.
Not bling...
The downloads,
the jail
sentence.
100

DAVE
HILL
(from Slade)
Bling!
The platforms and silver.
Not bling...
The pudding
basin haircut,
bad teeth.
SANTA
CLAUS
Bling!
The flying sleigh, advertising Coke.
Not bling...
Chimneys, not
existing.
101

BLING ICON No.8
LIZ TAYLOR
Married eight times, Liz was the
first actress to earn $1 million
– for Cleopatra (1963).
According to Richard Burton,
“Her breasts would topple
empires before they withered.”
Mattel has made a doll with
costumes styled to look just like
her.
102

Howard Hughes offered her
father $1 million for her hand
in marriage. She turned up her
nose when Hughes handed her
a box of priceless gems.
She never read an entire script,

just her own lines. Her 3rd and
5th husband, Richard Burton,
purchased the historic La
Peregrina pearl for her.
Liz owns another piece of

historic jewellery, an enamelled
103

bracelet once belonging to
Napoleon’s wife, Josephine
Bonaparte. Liz was the first
celebrity to acknowledge a stay
in the Betty Ford Clinic.
“What
do you
expect me to
do? Sleep
alone?”
104

BLING? OR RICH
WHITE TRASH?
You be the judge
LIZ HURLEY
She wore a Versace dress held
together by safety pins to the
premiere of Four Weddings
and a Funeral and got more
press coverage than her then
boyfriend Hugh Grant. (He was
105

later arrested getting a BJ from
the woman who put the Ho in
Hollywood.)
Appeared in the Avengers.
And Bedazzled.
106

VICTORIA ‘POSH
SPICE’ BECKHAM
Gucci tabloid queen. In her
teens, Posh Spice used to beg
her dad not to drive her to
theatre school in the Rolls
Royce. She joined the Spice
Girls, whose hit Wannabe was
the first of nine to go straight to
number one in the charts. In
one year alone they sold 35
million albums. She met
footballer David Beckham in
107

1997 – a marriage made in
tabloid heaven. They have two
sons: Brooklyn (named after
where he was conceived); and
Romeo (huh?).
When her eponymous solo

album floundered she worked
with Hip-Hop artists to increase
her street cred. An ‘A’ list celeb
and clothes horse who will
never be seen in anything that
isn’t by Prada or D&G – or
without a plasterer’s trowel full
of make-up.
108

BLING ICON No.9
MARILYN MONROE
Norma Jeane Mortenson
married Jim Dougherty, Joe
DiMaggio and playwright Arthur
Miller, as well as reportedly
having an affair with John F.
Kennedy. She was addicted to
sleeping pills, barbiturates and
tranquilizers and much has
been speculated about the
events surrounding her ‘suicide’
109

at 36. During her career, Marilyn
made 30 films (working with
Montgomery Clift, Laurence
Olivier, Jack Lemmon and Tony
Curtis) and left one, Something’s
Got to Give, unfinished.
She was more than just a

movie star or glamour queen.
A global sensation in her
lifetime, Marilyn’s popularity
has extended beyond star
status to icon.
Today, her name is synonymous
110

with beauty, sensuality and
effervescence.
“Diamonds
are a girl’s
best friend.”
111

LOVE IS BLING!
5 signs that your bitch

is blinging...
1
She gets a tattoo on her back
so you’ve got something to
read while you’re bangin’ her
in the ass.
2
She suggests you get a fur-
lined crib.
112

3
She texts you twenty times a
day with cute messages like,
‘Snd more Coke NOW mo-fo!’
4
She wears your rings and falls
over with the weight.
5
She answers to both bitch and
Ho.
113

BLING ICON No.10
J-LO
Dancer, actress, and now
singer – is there anything she
can’t do? After Lopez became
a well-known actress, her early
marriage to Ojani Noa came
under close scrutiny by the
press, and they were divorced
after only a year. Her film
Anaconda was a huge
success. She also co-starred
114

with Jack Nicholson in Blood &
Wine, Sean Penn in U-Turn,
and George Clooney in the
critically acclaimed Out Of
Sight.
Lopez switched her focus to

music with the 1999 album On
The 6, to which big-name,
modern-day producers like her
then boyfriend, Sean ‘Puffy’
Combs, lent a hand.
Jennifer’s appearance at the

Grammys in her infamous
115

down-to-there Versace dress,
and at the Oscars in a braless,
see-through Grecian gown and
mink-fur false eyelashes,
ensured that she remained in
the public eye.
Her quickie wedding to dancer

Cris Judd was even shorter
than her first marriage and her
engagement to actor Ben
Affleck. The Wedding Planner
was the number one film in the
U.S.A. the same week that her
album J.Lo held the top spot on
116

the Billboard Top 200. She
recently launched her own
clothing line, perfume (Glow)
and an L.A. restaurant.
“I could
serve coffee
using my rear
as a ledge.”
117

BLING JOKES
Q. What dog breed do

gangstas keep as a
pet?
A. Bling Charles Spaniel.
Q. Where do gangstas
go to get DIY stuff?
A. Homiebase.
118

Q. What’s the medical
term for being sick of
too much bling?
A. Affluenza.
Q. What’s the
difference between a
spade, a Ho and a
bitch?
A. The bitch don’t do nothin’ in
the garden!
119

BLING ICON No.11
LIBERACE
Liberace was known for his
music, his grand piano and
candelabra, his diamonds and
dazzle. He achieved two Emmy
Awards, six gold albums, two
stars on the Hollywood Walk of
Fame and is listed in the
Guinness Book of World
Records as the world’s highest
paid musician and pianist.
Liberace was television’s first
120

matinee idol. In 1984 he
celebrated 40 years in show
business by breaking all sales
and attendance records at New
York’s Radio City Music Hall.
One of his favourite songs was
The Impossible Dream.
Liberace’s legend lives on in
The Liberace Museum which
houses a collection of rare
antique pianos, classic cars,
sequined, bejewelled costume
wardrobe, glittering stage
jewellery and rare antiques.
He never married.
121

THE BLING PRAYER
Our Versace, who art in Kings Road
Bling Bling be thy name
Thy Vuitton come
Thy Dolce & Gabbana be done
In Saks as it is in Asprey
Give us this day our platinum card
122

And forgive us our max-outs
As we forgive those who shop

against us
And lead us not into Poundstretcher
But deliver us from imitation
For thine is 24 carat
The Prada and the Gucci
For ever and ever
American Express
123

ISBN 1-905102-03-8, £2.99

ISBN 1-905102-00-3, £2.99

ISBN 1-905102-01-1, £2.99

ISBN 1-905102-20-8, £2.99

If you enjoyed reading this book and have any
comments to make, or suggestions
for other Little Books, please email us at:
bling@crombiejardine.com.
All our books are available from High Street

bookshops, Amazon or Bookpost
(P.O. Box 29, Douglas, Isle of Man, IM99 1BQ.
Tel: 01624 677237, Fax: 01624 670923,
Email: bookshop@enterprise.net.
Postage and packing free within the UK).
www.crombiejardine.com

Lee Bok - Little Book of Bling! (2005)

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Lee Bok - Little Book of Bling! (2005)

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Crombie Jardine

13 Nonsuch Walk, Cheam, Surrey, SM2 7LG

This edition was first published by

All rights are reserved. No part of this publication may be

Written by Marc Blake

Printed and bound in the United Kingdom by

The_Little_Book_Of_Bling.pmd 2 26/01/2005, 19:51

BLING FACTS ....................................... 5

The_Little_Book_Of_Bling.pmd 3 26/01/2005, 19:51

The_Little_Book_Of_Bling.pmd 4 26/01/2005, 19:51

The expression ‘Bling’ was

The_Little_Book_Of_Bling.pmd 5 26/01/2005, 19:51

In 1986 the Hip-Hop group

The_Little_Book_Of_Bling.pmd 6 26/01/2005, 19:51

Around the time, clothing

The_Little_Book_Of_Bling.pmd 7 26/01/2005, 19:51

The_Little_Book_Of_Bling.pmd 8 26/01/2005, 19:51

✧ Asprey get a new

✧ You sell two of your

✧ You win an MTV award

The_Little_Book_Of_Bling.pmd 9 26/01/2005, 19:51

✧ You can afford a limo with

✧ You can boast more than

✧ Snoop Dogg & Wyclef

✧ You drive a bullet-proof

The_Little_Book_Of_Bling.pmd 10 26/01/2005, 19:51

✧ You make the top ten

✧ Your Adidas contract is

The_Little_Book_Of_Bling.pmd 11 26/01/2005, 19:51

The_Little_Book_Of_Bling.pmd 12 26/01/2005, 19:51

The_Little_Book_Of_Bling.pmd 13 26/01/2005, 19:51

The_Little_Book_Of_Bling.pmd 14 26/01/2005, 19:51

The_Little_Book_Of_Bling.pmd 15 26/01/2005, 19:51

Bling Dogs... Not...

Snoop Dogg  Scrappy Doo 

The pet you really need to

The_Little_Book_Of_Bling.pmd 16 26/01/2005, 19:51

Other bling pets

The_Little_Book_Of_Bling.pmd 17 26/01/2005, 19:51

The coolest man in The A-Team

The_Little_Book_Of_Bling.pmd 18 26/01/2005, 19:51

The_Little_Book_Of_Bling.pmd 19 26/01/2005, 19:51

Slade (Cadillac Escalade) 

The_Little_Book_Of_Bling.pmd 20 26/01/2005, 19:51

Stretch Nissan Cherry 

The_Little_Book_Of_Bling.pmd 21 26/01/2005, 19:51

Hen / Henry  Half a lager 

The_Little_Book_Of_Bling.pmd 22 26/01/2005, 19:51

The_Little_Book_Of_Bling.pmd 23 26/01/2005, 19:51

Nike Air  Dr Scholl 

Converse  Sandal / sock 

The_Little_Book_Of_Bling.pmd 24 26/01/2005, 19:51

Your stinky Pumas

The_Little_Book_Of_Bling.pmd 25 26/01/2005, 19:51

Asprey  Elizabeth Duke 

The_Little_Book_Of_Bling.pmd 26 26/01/2005, 19:51

Neiman Markus  Kmart 

The_Little_Book_Of_Bling.pmd 27 26/01/2005, 19:51

The_Little_Book_Of_Bling.pmd 28 26/01/2005, 19:51

The_Little_Book_Of_Bling.pmd 29 26/01/2005, 19:51

The_Little_Book_Of_Bling.pmd 30 26/01/2005, 19:51

He gave away Cadillacs, cash

The_Little_Book_Of_Bling.pmd 31 26/01/2005, 19:51

He’s still topping the charts,

Snoop Dogg Scrappy Doo

Slade (Cadillac Escalade)

Stretch Nissan Cherry

Hen / Henry Half a lager

Nike Air Dr Scholl

Converse Sandal / sock

Asprey Elizabeth Duke

Neiman Markus Kmart

Your bitch went

You failed to get

You got more on

Your doctor tells