Drowning in Cave Water

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/41963622.

Rating: Mature
Archive Warning: Rape/Non-Con
Category: F/M
Fandom: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero
Academia
Relationship: Midoriya Izuku/Uraraka Ochako, One-Sided Midoriya Izuku/Original
Character(s)
Character: Uraraka Ochako, Midoriya Izuku
Additional Tags: izuocha endgame, Aged-Up Character(s), Characters Are Pro Heroes
(My Hero Academia), Angst, Gaslighting, Domestic Violence,
Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Jealousy, Emotional
Manipulation, Flawed characters, Bisexual Uraraka Ochako, Aromantic
Iida Tenya
Language: English
Collections: The IzuOcha Fic Collection
Stats: Published: 2022-09-26 Words: 3588

Drowning in Cave Water

by SevenRenny

Summary

Whirlwind Romance: Hero Deku Weds Actress Riko Takahashi – the headline read, like
that wasn’t a big deal, not Deku Weds Actress: What the Fuck is Going on?

Ochaco couldn’t believe what she was hearing on the news.

Not that she was expecting anything better. It was her fault, really. Mina had told her to go
for it years ago. Ochaco didn’t. She'd said it was fine. She'd said they were just friends. It
was just a high school crush. It’d go away.

Or: in which Izuku suddenly marries an actress, and Ochaco wills herself to put aside her
jealousy to be happy for him. Only, something about the relationship doesn't feel quite
right.

Notes

-Thank you guardiantoa for beta reading.

Ochaco couldn’t believe what she was hearing on the news.

Not that she was expecting anything better. It was her fault, really. Mina had told her to go for it
years ago. Ochaco didn’t. She'd said it was fine. She'd said they were just friends. It was just a high
school crush. It’d go away.

She just wasn’t expecting this kind of news first thing in the morning whilst making breakfast in
her apartment.

Whirlwind Romance: Hero Deku Weds Actress Riko Takahashi – the headline read, like that
wasn’t a big deal, not Deku Weds Actress: What the Fuck is Going on?

Some drama actress named Riko. Ochaco hadn’t heard of her existence until today. Ochaco even
had to Google her. Apparently, Riko had starred in a few drama series over the years. Nothing big.
Some leading roles in smaller shows that got canceled due to low viewership or budget issues. She
was pretty. Very petty. But Izuku wasn’t all about pretty – he wasn’t that shallow – so how did he
cross paths with her? Perhaps he’d been dating her in secret. Many Heroes did that.

It was just…

Jarring.

Married.

Her best friend, her childhood crush, was married.

This couldn’t be right.

She wanted to be happy for him. She wanted to be a good friend, congratulate him.

But it was all just so sudden. It had slapped her in the face, left her stunned. Her phone was going
off. She didn’t have the energy to pick it up. on the screen, messages from Mina rolled in. Of
course she’d be the first one on her ass about this. Not like Ochaco knew more than Mina did.

***

She got to talk to him in person at the Heroes gala. It was the anniversary of Shigaraki’s defeat.
Izuku held an opening speech, then retreated to let everyone on the thirtieth floor of the high-rise
enjoy some drinks and finger food and chat. People in dresses and suits and, some, in costumes.

It was admittedly hard to find him. It was even harder to get a hold of him without his new wife
there. His wife, a long-haired brunette who was significantly taller than him. She was built like
Momo, only less busty and less muscular.

Ochaco had an ugly feeling about it all. But that was just a monster called jealousy.

It seemed almost impossible to get him alone. It was like the woman was making sure not to leave
him unattended.

Again, Ochaco’s jealousy talking.

It had to be.
No other way about it.

She saw them laughing in the distance with two Pros, Izuku rubbing the back of his head.

Tenya Iida in a white suit approached her. “Have you and Midoriya spoken?” He didn’t need to
elaborate on what.

Everyone from her circle of friends who’d talked to her today seemed to ask the exact same thing.

“Not yet.”

There’s a thing about being jealous. She didn’t choose it. she hated it more than anyone can hate
her for having it. It throttled her. But it also made her see things. Everything became red. Not the
angry kind of red. The red that made it hard to see where lines were. where everything was.

When Riko moved away to be with a group of women in fancy dresses, Ochaco approached him.

He startled, put a hand to his heart. He had a glass of champagne in the other hand. “Uraraka,” he
greeted with a relieved smile.

That smile that made her weak in the knees.

That smile only he shone left and right like it was nothing, like it wasn’t much.

That smile that’s now somebody else’s.

She wanted to be angry at him, but there was nothing there for her to grab at. No logic to it. There
was as little logic to it as there was to this marriage. And it was stupid. All this wasn’t worth
jealousy. It was her own fault that what happened, happened. And, who knows, what happened
might’ve still happened even if Ochaco told him she loved him. What was the point in thinking of
what-ifs if the “ifs” were all the same? Mina could blab to her about him liking her all she wanted.
Sure, maybe he liked her, but not in the way Ochaco wanted. He’d tell her that dress looked pretty
on her, then dish out compliments to everybody else, too. Mina would say, “He’s nice to you.”
Sure, he was nice to her – he was nice to everybody.

It was good he found someone he liked. Ochaco should stop looking for reasons to be angry and
start being happy for him.

“Didn’t mean to scare ya’,” she said with a slight chuckle.

“Uraraka. I’m glad you made it.”

“You look tired.”

He laughed lightly. “Yeah, been talking to people all day. It’s good, though. everyone seems to be
enjoying themselves.”

“Congrats on not being single anymore.” She gave him a gentle, playful punch to the arm.

He blushed. “Thanks.”

“When did that happen?”

“Ah, well, you see, I saved her from falling on the train tracks and, well, she wanted to repay me
with dinner. I said it was fine, but Riko insisted. I got to know her at dinner and… yeah. We kept it
under wraps for a while. I didn’t want the press following her.”
Sounded straightforward enough. “I’m happy for you,” Ochaco forced out the words. She cringed
at herself. She did not have to force out those words, but she did, otherwise they’d have jammed in
her throat.

“Thank you.”

Riko calmly walked over, her hands together, her heels clicking. “Izuku, one of your friends, I’m
guessing?”

“Oh, yeah, Riko, this is my friend Uraraka.”

“Ochaco Uraraka,” Ochaco clarified.

Riko smiled gently. “So you’re the Uraraka he’s been talking about. You’re lovelier in person.”

Damn it. Ochaco was so ready to criticize her, to look for flaws. The woman seemed kind from the
get-go.

Ochaco blushed and covered her cheeks with her palms. “Stop that!” Ochaco had once stated in an
interview, that when asked what kind of men she liked, she’d genuinely asked, ‘Does it have to be
just men or…?’ which indicated to everybody she didn’t like just men. Having Riko complement
her so felt nice. Very nice.

Too nice.

No. Just nice. Stop looking for flaws, damn it.

Even Tenya met her and said she seemed nice. She was polite like Tenya and held herself like
Momo. She talked like a college professor and wrote beautifully and smelled of the finest perfume.
She was a bit thick in the limbs like Ochaco. Perhaps that was just Izuku’s type in women. She
worked as an actress, had one brother, used to be with roommates before she moved in with Izuku.

For a marriage that sprung up like a weed in the morning, the rest of her was all just… so normal.

So why?

Why did Ochaco feel like something else was there?

It was like knowing you had a leech on you, just not sure where.

***

He didn’t answer her texts that often anymore.

Or her calls.

Or texts from other friends.

***

His costume was red this time.

He was hardly ever in red.

He’d refused to change the design too much, said it was made by his mother.
So why the red?

Why change it now?

What happened?

She had texts from friends asking her as if she’d know.

How would she know? How would she figure him out at this point? He up and married out of
nowhere and now wore red.

She finally got an answer, not directly. It was during an interview where he was asked, “Why red?”

“He said, ‘Riko likes it that way.’,” Ochaco told Tenya at a sushi bar one afternoon.

Tenya said what she’d been waiting to hear, “That’s very unlike him. Perhaps he loves her that
much. I do not understand romantic relationships and so I can’t put in my opinion on the matter.
Nevertheless, I think we’d simply have to understand that maybe there’s more to it than that and he
did not feel comfortable saying so.”

More to it than that.

Like the leech Ochaco still can’t find.

***

She bumped into him on patrol duty. She hadn’t been prepared to see him. If she had, she would’ve
planned questions that did not feel like questions just so she could get a few truths out of him, get a
few clues because he obviously would not give her them directly. Not these days.

“I haven’t seen you much,” she told him with a friendly smile. Nobody had seen him much,
evidently.

“Sorry. I’ve been busy.”

“Are you overworking yourself again? Should I call Iida on you?” she joked.

He took it seriously. “No, no – everything’s fine. Just helping Riko move and all. Actually…
maybe you could help me with something. I need advice but I’m not sure who to ask.”

“About?”

“See, Riko said she sometimes feels left out when I talk to my friends. And… well, she’s not
always comfortable when I text people. I’m not sure what to do.”

Oof. A jealous type, like herself. Though, Ochaco hadn’t tried to scare him into not texting friends.
That set some alarm bells in her head. But perhaps that was her own jealousy rearing its ugly head.

Hypocrite.

“Did you ask your mom?” His mama was a sweet lady. Surely she’d have a few useful words.

Izuku scratched the back of his head. “See, about that… I don’t think Mom likes Riko very much.”

“Your mom… doesn’t like your wife.”

“It’s complicated.”

“Your mom loves everyone. But she hates your wife?”

“She doesn’t hate her, just… We had an argument, me and Mom. She thinks Riko’s not good for
me.”

“How so?”

“Because I met her recently, I think. Mom thinks we’re jumping the gun.”

“I mean… You did get married in secret. I think she’s just surprised.” Or onto something. That was
a mean thought. Ochaco ought to snap out of it.

***

Ochaco could not find a bigger red flag than asking what Izuku thought of this merch debut for a
Hero who just got promoted from Sidekick to Pro, and Izuku saying that he didn't even realize it
was out. He’d be the first to know, even before any tabloids did sometimes because he was in the
business.

“But you always know,” she wanted to say, but, instead, said, “How come?”

“Riko didn't like me obsessing over Heroes all the time.”

Ochaco had been to his apartment, had seen his collection of posters and figurines and
merchandise. Did he still have them out on display, or did him being a husband now mean he had
to put that away? An Izuku that did not hyper-fixate did not exist.

This Riko kept coming up in most, if not every, conversation. Where were you? Out with Riko.
Did you see Shoto’s interview? No, Riko wanted to watch something else. Did you hear what
Shinso did yesterday? I’m sorry, no, Riko wanted to spend time together. Are you free this
weekend? Not really – Riko and I booked a hotel for a getaway.

Maybe he was just in love, and that was how he was in love?

He kept apologizing for the little things. There was no ‘hi’ anymore, his greeting was ‘I’m sorry’
now. I’m sorry, I can’t hang out today. I’m sorry, I missed your call. I’m sorry, are you upset with
me? I don’t mean to not talk to you for so long.

Sure, Izuku was just a polite man. But this was quick and excessive. It made her worry. Had their
friendship really dried up this much? He didn’t talk to her much anymore. He’d go weeks and his
picture on her phone app would sink to the bottom from inactivity.

She called the one person who’d actually give her answers: his mom.

Izuku’s mom was a lovely woman. Sweet as a cake. When she disliked somebody, it was for good
reason.

And Mama Midoriya had good reason: “My Izuku’s a soft young man. She’s… inside his head.
She’s polite, and I don’t want to judge who he likes. He’s all grown up; he’s allowed to fall in love.
But I didn’t feel safe with her. I feel bad saying it. But my Izuku… something’s changed about my
Izuku. He doesn’t sound happy.”

***
“You’re Deku, aren’t you?” Was the first thing Riko said to him after he’d saved her from the train.

“I am. Hi!”

“You saved my life.”

“All in a day’s work, miss.”

“Do you have time for dinner?”

“Oh, that’s thoughtful, but I’m very busy.”

She smiled gently. “Shame. I was hoping to pay you back.”

“I’m a Hero. Saving people is what we do.”

“Are you sure you wouldn’t have a few hours for some tea?”

He didn’t know what possessed him to say, “…Maybe Sunday afternoon?”

“Sunday afternoon sounds wonderful.”

She smelled like citrus perfume. She wore platform boots that clicked when she walked. She had a
body that was on the thicker side. She had hazel eyes, and for whatever reason, he couldn’t look
away. He’d met her again on Sunday. He learned she was older by three and a half years. She had
one brother. She had a Quirk that made her produce perfumes. She was a widow; her past husband
had died recently from heart disease. Izuku gave her his condolences. She asked to see him again,
and when he tried to decline, his tongue twisted, and he said ‘okay.’

She dressed more scantily next time, the shirt having a little opening just above her bosom where
the line between her breasts was visible. He looked away as best as he could, shame seeping into
his gut, throat swallowing thickly, the inside of his neck catching.

She was doing things to him, and he couldn’t understand why this stranger made him masturbate to
the thought of her at two in the morning, then curling in on himself in shame after.

He started dating her. When it had started, he wasn’t quite sure. He couldn’t remember. In fact,
there were gaps in his memory. It seemed like his memory was giving out on him, so much so that
he started wondering if his history of receiving head damage made him lose his memory. She
moved in with him, and he’d be so confused because he did not remember discussing moving in
together. She said, yes, they had. He believed her.

They supposedly made plans, ones he kept forgetting about and accidentally making appointments
to see friends on those exact dates, then be forced to cancel, because he’d be choosing between
seeing his friends and listening to his wife who tells him he’d agreed to go to the cinemas with her
(VIP seats). She’d get angry he spent money on too much merchandise and scold him, “You
agreed not to buy more than two.”

And he’d ask, “I… I did?” He didn’t remember saying that.

“Yes. You promised me.”

There weren’t arguments. When she got cross with him, it was more like she was his mother telling
him he was in trouble. And that was the odd thing about it: that he felt like a child during those
one-sided disagreements sometimes.
Moreover, he should not have told her he accepted to demonstrate an educational stunt at a high
school for a week where the kids were to study his strategies.

She said, “You know I get jealous when you’re with other girls.”

“But… they’re just students.” And kids.

That was the thing with her. He felt bad for thinking she was being unreasonable. She’d admitted
she had faults, and wished she was never a jealous person. And, he thought, why blame her for
something out of her control? So he bit his tongue when she accused him of fancying his students.
Not just his students; his fans, his friends, his friends’ fans.

He’d try to text Ochaco, and Riko would say, “Let me guess: just friends, right?” And he’d delete
his text and close the app.

They’d be having sex, and one time, when he was on his back, letting her ride him out, his eyes
fluttering close and guiltily thinking of a different brunette, Riko stopped and asked, “Who is on
your mind this time?” in the most emotionless tone he’d heard from her.

“What?”

“Who is it?”

“…I’m sorry.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Can… can you?” He tried to coax her off. It didn’t feel right to continue having sex. They needed
to talk about this.

She didn’t want to talk about this. Without saying anything, she pinned him by the shoulders and
kept going.

“Wait…” he gasped. “Wait!”

“No,” she said. “You’ve had your fun. Let me have this.”

He was a bastard. He thought of somebody else, his best friend, whilst having sex with his wife.
He was horrible – was all he thought as Riko rode him out as he sat there with an emotionless
expression, staring at nothing.

He cried in the shower after, locked himself in.

She stopped scolding him and started demanding, “What is wrong with you?” which was similar to
when she sometimes went ahead and told him what was wrong with him: he was a crybaby, he was
too sensitive, he was a wimp, he never had time for anything, he was stubborn, he was irrational,
he was implosive, etc., etc.

The shower spray drilled a numb hole into his back.

He was drowning. He was breathing, but he was drowning.

He started fighting with her. Full-on arguments. No, I’m not seeing my students that way. Stop
that, please. I need my space – I can’t always be home with you. No, I don’t remember agreeing to
that. I didn’t say that. I’m tired, please, just let me go on a walk by myself. No, I’m not divorcing
you I’m just–
And she’d threatened to kill herself if he left her, and he’d be forced to say, Sorry. I’m sorry. I’m
not leaving, okay?

She got what she wanted. Always. She knew how to win, and she liked winning, whether it be
which expensive hotel did she want them to have sex in or what they had to eat today. Everything
had to be something she had to win. She won a lot.

His phone rang. In a last-ditch effort to check on his sanity, he grabbed it. Ochaco’s first time
calling in months.

“Deku?”

“I think I’m drowning. Please, tell me what’s wrong with me…” Like how Riko does all the time.

“Deku, what happened? Riko did something, didn’t she?”

“…No.”

“Deku…”

“I’m… just being difficult.” Like always.

“Stop siding with her on everything for a minute, okay? Just for a minute.”

“…Okay.”

“Now, listen, do you need me to come over there? It’s totally not a problem.”

“No. It’s okay. I don’t want to bother you.”

“I talked to your mom earlier.”

“…Oh.”

“And I agree with her. Look, I don’t want to butt in, and I don’t want to make you feel like you
have to believe me, but something’s not right here. Just know, if she truly loved you, she wouldn’t
make you feel so awful. And no, Deku, I don’t mean about little arguments. I mean… awful awful.
We love you, Deku. Me, your mom, your friends. We’ve been worried about you. Riko, she’s been
keeping you from your friends. That’s a bad sign, Deku. Really bad.”

“She’s… she just gets upset. She gets jealous and that’s not her fault.”

“Deku, I’m a jealous type, too.”

“What?”

“Yeah. Funny, right? I get upset, yeah. But the last thing I want to do is hurt anyone. The last thing
I want to do is hurt you.”

“Why would you be jealous?”

She gave a breathy laugh over the phone. “I’ve always loved you, you doofus.”

***

Ochaco met up with him after her patrol shift had ended and he’d excused himself early from his.
He hugged her for the first time, his eyes watery. They stopped at a sushi bar for a meal.

“What’d you find?” she asked.

He glided over a manila folder. “Her Quirk isn’t perfume like she said it was.” It was Love Potion.
Now, the nights he’d jerked off to Riko felt violating.

Ochaco nodded in understanding. “What’s the plan now?”

“I’m going to ask for a divorce. I might need to wear my respirator around her from now on.”

“Need me to be there so she doesn’t try anything?” She hoped he'd call her in for unlicensed Quirk
use. Sooner rather than later.

“No. It’s okay. I don’t think it’s safe for you either, anyway.”

Ochaco was also attracted to women. There was a possibility the Quirk could work on her as well.
Maybe Ochaco had felt the effects of it before when they met at the gala.

“Uraraka,” he said.

“Hmm.”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Everything. Did you really mean what you said on the phone?”

“Every word of it. I think… I regret not saying anything sooner. I’ll be honest, I got angry when I
heard you married. But, it was your life. I didn’t want to take away what made you happy.”

But he wasn’t happy. He thought of Ochaco when he had sex with his wife (soon-to-be ex-wife)
for heaven’s sake.

He mumbled, “I think… I need a break after the divorce is done. Do you think… you could wait
for me a little longer?”

“Of course.” She was always waiting, after all.

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