LOFIL-Discussion-Guide-Groom Completed 2

Living Our Faith in Love™
Official discussion guide
FOR THE GROOM

The Discussion Guides can be filled out on your computer or you may
choose to print them to write on.
As you respond to the questions yourself, take the time to compare your
answers with each other. Talk about similarities in your responses. In
areas where you have opposing views or different goals, take the time
enrich this experience by exploring those differences further.
Once you complete the course, you can email the completed PDF file
or bring the completed handwritten Discussion Guides into your parish
along with your Certificate of Completion to continue on to the next
steps towards your wedding!
THEMARRIAGEGROUP.COM • +1.810.957.1550 • hello@themarriagegroup.com

Index and CONTACT INFORMATION
1. Balancing Values, Careers, and Practical Issues...................................................................3-5

2. Money Matters................................................................................................................................................6-8
3. Healthy Sexuality and Intimacy.........................................................................................................9-11
4. Communication and Conflict Resolution..............................................................................12-14
5. Family of Origin...........................................................................................................................................15-17
6. Natural Family Planning (NFP)......................................................................................................18-22
7. Theology and Spirituality of Marriage......................................................................................23-28
8. Notes.........................................................................................................................................................................29
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+1.810.957.1550
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BALANCING VALUES, CAREERS, AND PRACTICAL ISSUES
1. Is having a career important to me?
Why or why not?

A career is important to me since it has allowed me to grow professionally and

achieve the goals I have worked hard for.

2. How important are the following priorities to me?
1 being most important, 5 being the least important:
4 Social Events/Time Spent with Friends

1 Family
5 God
2 Career
3 Personal Growth (Physical Health, Education, etc.)
3. Do I feel like my fiancée is supportive of my goals?

Why or why not?
Yes, since day one she has support every professional decision I have made.

4. What do I do to show my fiancée that she is my priority? What will

I continue to do throughout my marriage to maintain that honor and
respect?
I am always there for her when she needs me. I bring her coffee when she needs

during her hard days at work.

This is about your perspective about these topics regarding your fiancée.
1. Do I feel that having a career is important to her?
Why or why not?

Yes, she is very independent and worked hard to get her education and career

that she wanted.

2. How important do I feel the following priorities are to her?
1 being most important, 5 being the least important:
4 Social Events/Time Spent with Friends

1 Family
5 God
2 Career
3 Personal Growth (Physical Health, Education, etc.)
3. Am I supportive of my fiancée’s goals?
Why or why not?

Yes, we have always supported each other and help analyze any situation before

making a decision.

4. What does my fiancée do that shows I am her priority? What would I like
her to continue to do throughout our marriage to maintain that honor and
respect?
She listens to me when I need to decompress. Also, I always have the support I

need with her.

Once you have both completed the first two pages of Balancing Values,
Careers and Practical Issues on your own, come together for an open
and honest discussion about how you answered each question on those
previous pages. Remember, there are no right or wrong answers here… this
is about you and your relationship!
(Complete this portion together.)
1. How do you plan on balancing your career(s) and home life?

We will continue to have open communication and talk about our careers and

what we expect in our home. sharing the home responsibilities between the both

of us
2. Roles and responsibilities may evolve throughout your marriage. How will
you work to break down barriers caused by changing expectations?

we will take to each other about our responsibilities as a couple and what is
needed. We will be open with each other when we do not agree and talk it out.

3. When challenging situations arise, will you lean on each other, seek
guidance from friends and family, and/or take advantage of a professional
marriage counselor/consultant?

we will talk with each other when challenging situations arise. if we need additional

support we can lean on our families
4. How do you hope to grow as a couple in your first year of marriage?

we hope to grow closer to each other and continue to grow our relationship

Money Matters
$$
$
1. Am I a saver or a spender?
Explain:

I am a saver, I like to save for emergency and invest if possible. Also, I truly

analyze if I need something or not before buying it.

2. How important is money to me?
Explain:

It is important and I try to learn better ways on how to manage my money.

3. Are financial goals important to me?
Explain:

Yes, specially for preparing future kids for college so they do not have to take out

loans. Also, to be able to retire with no issues.

4. Is monthly budgeting important to me?
Explain:

It is so we are aware what our expenses are and a month with higher expenses

one can determine what made that happen.

Money Matters
$$
$
1. Do I think she is a saver or a spender?
Explain:

Spender, she saves also but she tends to spend easier than me.

2. How important do I think money is to her?
Explain:

it is important but I tend to take it more serious.

3. Do I think financial goals are important to her?
Explain:

Yes, it is we have similar goals when it comes to financial goals.

4. Do I think monthly budgeting is important to her?
Explain:
Yes, to be able to safe for future needs.

Money Matters
$$
$
Once you have both completed the first two pages of Money Matters on
your own, come together for an open and honest discussion about how
you answered each question on those previous pages. Remember, there
are no right or wrong answers here… this is about you and your relationship!
1. Will we maintain separate bank accounts or will our money be pooled

together? Why?

Yes, we can make one together for expenses and have seperate accounts for

personal use.
2. How much money should we maintain in an emergency fund? Why?

It depends on the expenses we have, like mortgage etc. Potentially having 1 year

of mortgage covered plus extra should be the ideal formula.
3. Who will handle the following financial responsibilities?
Paying the Bills:

Bride Groom Together
Setting financial Goals:
Balancing the bank account:
4. What are our top financial goals? (For example: saving for a home,
paying off debt, emergency savings, vacation savings, retirement savings,
etc.)
to be able to have enough assets to retire without worrying about money.

Healthy Sexuality and Intimacy
1. What I find most attractive about my fiancée is:

Her sense of humor, we are always on the same page when we laugh.

2. The part of my body I am most self-conscious about is:
Why?

My torso since I am not 100% in shape.

3. The part of my body I am most proud of is:
Why?

my eyes and teeth.

4. What boundaries have I set up for myself regarding the following?
Social Media interactions:

I delete social media often to focus on personal growth and things that

actually matter.

Opposite-Sex Friendships/Interactions:

Female friends know that I am engage and respect that.

Friendships with Past Partners (if applicable):

Do not keep communication with any.

1. What do I feel my fiancée finds most attractive about me?
my personality.
2. What boundaries do I expect my fiancée to set up for herself regarding the

following?
Social Media interactions:

None, social media distracts her.

Opposite-Sex Friendships/Interactions:

I trust her

Friendships with Past Partners (if applicable):

I trust her and know no lines will be crossed.

3. Do I feel my fiancée has done a good job at maintaining my trust?
Why or why not?

Yes, I know she loves me and wants to be with me. No insecurities.

4. Do I feel I have done a good job maintaining my fiancée’s trust?
Why or why not?

Yes, even when we were far I always found a way of visiting or communicating.

Once you have both completed the first two pages of Healthy Sexuality
and Intimacy on your own, come together for an open and honest
discussion about how you answered each question on those previous
pages. Remember, there are no right or wrong answers here… this is about
you and your relationship!
1. Where and how does God fit into our relationship?

GOD is at the foundation of our relationship

2. How will we achieve spiritual intimacy?

We will have open lines of communication

3. My biggest fear or insecurity about our sexual relationship is:

not continuing in our life long marriage

4. Which spiritual aspects and practices will bring us closer in our marital
intimacy?

having the open lines of communication and always being there for each other and

have those sweet moments.

Communication and Conflict Resolution
1. Are there any topics of conversation that are difficult for me to discuss? If
so, what are they, and what can I do to make it easier to discuss those topics?

Money can be difficult but we always find ways to talk about everything.

2. Are there topics of conversation that I can discuss easily? If so, what are
they?

friends, family and intimacy are easy topics to discuss.

3. Am I a good listener?
Why or why not?

I am a good listener and like to help find solutions to problems.

4. Am I comfortable enough to talk to my fiancée about anything?
Why or why not?

I am, I trust her and am comfortable talking with her about anything.

5. Do I talk to family and/or friends first before trying to resolve a conflict with
my fiancée? How could that potentially be a problem?

I am always up front about any issues. I have close friends I can talk and vent if

necessary.

1. Do I feel that there are any topics of conversation my fiancée finds difficult
to discuss? If so, how can I help to make those topics easier to discuss?

Money tends to be difficult.

2. Do I feel there topics of conversation that my fiancée can discuss easily

with me? If so, what are they?

work, friends, intimacy and family.

3. Do I feel like my fiancée is a good listener?
Why or why not?

Yes... she tends to remember what I have mentioned before.

4. Do I feel like my fiancée is comfortable enough to talk to me about

anything?
Why or why not?

Yes because she trusts me.

Once you have both completed the first two pages of Communication and
Conflict Resolution on your own, come together for an open and honest
discussion about how you answered each question on those previous
pages. Remember, there are no right or wrong answers here… this is about
you and your relationship!
1. There are many ways that we communicate with each other. How do you
effectively or ineffectively use the following communication skills?
Words:
we talk to each other
Actions:
chocolates or baked goods for forgivness

Body Language:
hands for talking or eyes

Gestures:
pointing at things
2. How well do you handle yourselves when conflict occurs? In what areas
can you both improve?

we try to have a clear mind when we talk to each other and if we are heated take a

break for each other to cool down
3. Have you experienced communication or conflict issues during your

engagement? If so, how did you resolve them together?

sometimes i can get hot headed so we cool down before having a talk

Family of Origin
1. Are there any boundaries that I expect from my fiancée’s family of origin?
To have the same level of respec towards her daughter as if it was my own

daughter.

2. Do I have full flexibility when it comes to spending holiday time with my

family and my fiancée’s?
Why or why not?

Yes, I only have my mom in Orlando and usually she travels to visit my brother

during holidays.

3. Who are the most influential people (for better or for worse) that make up
my family of origin?
Erveryone in my family have inflenced me to be a better person.

4. What are the positive and the negative traits and traditions that are
evident within my family of origin?
Positive:
Being flexible and understandig.

Negative:
None, my family of origin is ver flexible and understanding.

Family of Origin
1. Are there any boundaries that I feel my fiancée has regarding my family of
origin?
notifying before any visit.

2. Do I feel like my fiancée has full flexibility when it comes to spending

holiday time with my family and my fiancée’s?
Why or why not?

Yes, as mentioned before, I only have my mom in Orlando and she always visits

me brother during holidays.

3. Who are the most influential people that I know of (for better or for worse)
that make up my fiancée’s family of origin?
her parents and brother.

4. What are the positive and the negative traits and traditions that I see
within my fiancée’s family of origin?
Positive:
lots of love towards her.

Negative:
Noone that I can think of.

Family of Origin
Once you have both completed the first two pages of Family of Origin on
your own, come together for an open and honest discussion about how
you answered each question on those previous pages. Remember, there
are no right or wrong answers here… this is about you and your relationship!
1. How do you believe your families, traditions, and childhood will impact your
married life?

i believe our family and traditions are our foundation and we will build on them

when raise our families

2. Will your involvement in each other’s family traditions stay the same or
change? Will you begin new traditions?
Explain:

our involvement will change into our own traditions that will be based on our family

traditions

3. Are your views regarding boundaries in each other’s family of origin the
same? If not, how do you plan on respecting each other’s wishes?

our boundaries are the same and if things change we will talk about each of our

wishes and come together to make the best decision.

Natural Family Planning (NFP)
1. This course is my first introduction to Natural Family Planning:
Yes No
2. My initial feeling about Natural Family Planning is:

Not for us.

3. Prior to this introduction to Natural Family Planning, my understanding of

NFP was:
not being safe during intercourse for religous purpose.

4. What is Natural Family Planning and what is it used for?

to not use protection and let destiny determine when and how many kids to have.

5. My church has been open and informative about NFP:
Yes No
6. Information and resources I have regarding Natural Family Planning have

come from:
My own research and this video.

7. I am willing to participate in open and honest discussions with my fiancée

about NFP:
Yes No
Explain:
I am open to the conversation.

8. Do I believe God’s design for my life is bigger than my own plan?
Yes No
Give examples of life experiences and lessons learned to explain

your reason why:
There is always something planned when things are not working. If I would have

been selected for the Masters in Science in Germany I would have not me my

Fiance.

9. What are the Natural Family Planning principles mentioned throughout

the video?
no protection

10. Do I believe in the principles discussed about NFP?
Yes No
11. The reasons I believe (or do not believe) in the practice of NFP are:
I beleive in being economically stable to have a kid and not depend on the

Government's help to support my own family.
12. Do I wish to learn more about NFP and practice it in our married life?
Yes No
13. Is it a church requirement that I am to learn and practice NFP?
Yes No
14. I am excited to introduce NFP into our married life to:
Postpone pregnancy
Achieve pregnancy
Both
15. Three reasons the Catholic Church promotes NFP are:
A. mutual communication
B. It promotes good health
C. teaches marital intimacy

16. What are the fundamental differences between artificial birth control and
Natural Family Planning?
both are a choice of the person and has to be respected.
17. These differences can affect my life because:

having a baby is a big step in life and everyone should be ready.
18. Concerns about the harmful side effects of artificial birth control are:
Physical Side Effects:

physical changes like acne, wieght gain/loss.
Marital Side Effects:

communicaiton differences.
Spiritual Side Effects:

Not beleiving in the bible.
19. As a man, I believe I already have a solid understanding and awareness of

the woman’s fertility cycle:
Yes No
20. How can I overcome each of these potential personal challenges

regarding NFP?
A misunderstanding of the concept (by myself and others):

each person should do their own research.

The required consistency and commitment when practicing NFP:

should be mutual.

Times of Abstinence:
when needed.

21. I believe times of abstinence will strengthen our marital bond because:
we can get to know each other better in different ways.

22. What are the four methods of NFP mentioned in the video?
A.
temperature method
B.
calendar method
C.
cervical mucus method
D.
winthdraw method
Theology and Spirituality of Marriage
1. The Catechism of the Catholic Church tells us that we are created to “know
and love God” — how can I know Him and love Him better?
by prayer

2. In my spiritual life, what is my favorite aspect of my personal relationship

with God?
I do good to everyone

3. Is there a special aspect of my spirituality in which I feel I still need to grow

more?
beind more understanding and acceting God

4. Why is having a family spirituality important now that I am about to enter

marriage?
spirituality allows growth

5. Love is the “complete giving of oneself to one another.” Is there something

that would prevent me from completely giving myself completely to my
fiancée?
none that I can think of.

6. Spiritual fruitfulness or fertility opens a couple’s possibilities of giving life. In

what ways do I see myself and my future spouse giving life in ways that are
not necessarily conceiving a child?
providing a good life to the living things we have.

7. The Sacrament of Marriage is exclusive and indissoluble. In which ways am

I aware of this as I enter marriage?
I am aware this is forever and any issues need/can be resolved.

8. Marriage is a vocation to serve God, one another, and the community. In

which ways can I serve God, my future spouse, and the community through
my marriage?
Staying and doing good together.

1. How do I see God at work in the life of my fiancée?
Things happen in my life that ended up leaving me in the path to my fiance.

2. How does my fiancée inspire me spiritually?

she inspires me to be and do better.

3. How do I foresee my fiancée living a holy life within our marriage?

I see her always being along my side.

4. What I admire about my fiancée’s relationship with God is:
overall she is an amazing person.

5. Do I believe that my fiancée is open to life? Yes? No? Why?

she is open to life and always things of new projects for us.

6. Is my fiancée aware that the Sacrament of Marriage is exclusive and

indissoluble?
Yes she is aware.

Once you have both completed the first two pages of Theology of
Marriage on your own, come together for an open and honest discussion
about how you answered each question on those previous pages.
Remember, there are no right or wrong answers here… this is about you
and your relationship!
1. What is ONE thing that we learned in the Theology and Spirituality of

Marriage segment that I would like to integrate into our marriage?
we would like to keep our conversation open.

2. Tell each other how you plan to include God in your marriage. Be specific.
Write your answer below.
we plan to be open to the community and provide help to our own community

which embraces God's plan.

3. Share with each other any concerns, questions, reservations you may have
about being open to life. Be honest! Write your collective answers below.
life can through us challenges that we have not faced before or maybe did not

think before so learning how to handle those situations and continue to love each

other and date each other throughout our marriage.

Notes
Use this page for any extra notes you may have.

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Living Our Faith in Love™

Official discussion guide

FOR THE GROOM

THEMARRIAGEGROUP.COM • +1.810.957.1550 • hello@themarriagegroup.com

1. Balancing Values, Careers, and Practical Issues...................................................................3-5

1. Is having a career important to me?

Why or why not?

2. How important are the following priorities to me?

1 being most important, 5 being the least important:

4 Social Events/Time Spent with Friends

3. Do I feel like my fiancée is supportive of my goals?

4. What do I do to show my fiancée that she is my priority? What will

Why or why not?

2. How important do I feel the following priorities are to her?

1 being most important, 5 being the least important:

4 Social Events/Time Spent with Friends

3. Am I supportive of my fiancée’s goals?

Why or why not?

(Complete this portion together.)

1. How do you plan on balancing your career(s) and home life?

support we can lean on our families

4. How do you hope to grow as a couple in your first year of marriage?

analyze if I need something or not before buying it.

2. How important is money to me?

3. Are financial goals important to me?

loans. Also, to be able to retire with no issues.

4. Is monthly budgeting important to me?

one can determine what made that happen.

2. How important do I think money is to her?

3. Do I think financial goals are important to her?

4. Do I think monthly budgeting is important to her?

(Complete this portion together.)

1. Will we maintain separate bank accounts or will our money be pooled

2. How much money should we maintain in an emergency fund? Why?

 of mortgage covered plus extra should be the ideal formula.

3. Who will handle the following financial responsibilities?

Paying the Bills:

1. What I find most attractive about my fiancée is:

2. The part of my body I am most self-conscious about is: 

3. The part of my body I am most proud of is: 

4. What boundaries have I set up for myself regarding the following?

Social Media interactions:

Friendships with Past Partners (if applicable):

2. What boundaries do I expect my fiancée to set up for herself regarding the

Social Media interactions:

Friendships with Past Partners (if applicable):

3. Do I feel my fiancée has done a good job at maintaining my trust?

Why or why not?

4. Do I feel I have done a good job maintaining my fiancée’s trust?

Why or why not?

(Complete this portion together.)

1. Where and how does God fit into our relationship?

2. How will we achieve spiritual intimacy?

3. My biggest fear or insecurity about our sexual relationship is:

 have those sweet moments.

Why or why not?

4. Am I comfortable enough to talk to my fiancée about anything?

Why or why not?

2. Do I feel there topics of conversation that my fiancée can discuss easily

3. Do I feel like my fiancée is a good listener?

Why or why not?

4. Do I feel like my fiancée is comfortable enough to talk to me about

Why or why not?

support we can lean on our families

analyze if I need something or not before buying it.

loans. Also, to be able to retire with no issues.

one can determine what made that happen.

of mortgage covered plus extra should be the ideal formula.

2. The part of my body I am most self-conscious about is:

3. The part of my body I am most proud of is:

have those sweet moments.

we talk to each other

chocolates or baked goods for forgivness

break for each other to cool down

Being flexible and understandig.

None, my family of origin is ver flexible and understanding.

lots of love towards her.

Noone that I can think of.

wishes and come together to make the best decision.

A misunderstanding of the concept (by myself and others):

The required consistency and commitment when practicing NFP: