2 TribuneReview
08/06/08
DAVID KENNY’S ERINDIPITY
World’s longest
strike
DEEP down, everybody wants to be
loved.
Last week we noted that one of the
most unpopular companies in the
country is attempting to woo us. Irish
Rail is so desperate to please that it’s
rolled out a clatter of Train Hosts to
carry our bags and smile at us to
make us forget the strikes of the past
few weeks. How nice.
With this in mind, we’ve loosely
themed this week’s offering on strikes
and trains, with our final destination
being the longest strike the country
has ever encountered. (It has nothing
to do with trains, by the way.)
First some train facts:
Some train facts
» St Ivor is the patron saint of train
drivers.
» The nation’s first train was the
‘Hibernia’ which steamed down the
8.8km track between Westland Row
and Kingstown (Pearse to Dun
Laoghaire) on 17 November, 1834. It
made the journey in 19.5 minutes –
just 30 seconds slower than it takes
on the Dart today.
» ‘Harmonstown Dart Station’ is an
anagram of ‘Hoots Mon! It’s Drawn
Tartan’. Just so you know.
Most striking Dart ad
Dart users may be familiar with the
company’s advert which boasts the
following: ‘Dart Services – Reliability
99.8%, Punctuality 93.3%’.
Sounds impressive? Read on.
According to Irish Rail’s passenger
charter, “95% of all Dart trains will
arrive in the city centre within 10
minutes of the published time”.
Consider this: the journey from
Dun Laoghaire to Salthill station
takes two minutes. So if the train is
delayed by 10 minutes it’s not actually
late. This is despite the fact that the
trip took five times as long as it
should. Use this as an excuse to your
boss and see what happens.
So, technically, 93.3% of all Darts
are up to 10 minutes late according to
their own advert. If you think that’s a
cock-up, then try this for size . . .
Most strikingly obvious
omission
Last January the Dublin-Limerick
train broke a new record. It was for
‘Least Amount of Passengers on
Board’.
The train left Heuston Station with
only one passenger – while 300 others
waited on the platform.
The passenger, a visually impaired
man, had been helped on first by a
staff member. Then an official, noting
the train was running late – and
presuming the blind man was the last
passenger to board – gave the signal
for it to leave.
The empty train made all its
scheduled stops and deposited its
VIP passenger in Limerick after a
pleasant, but somewhat lonely, ride.
As this was a problem with space
(ie too much of), the driver could
have cried “Heuston, we have a
problem” and no-one would have
punched him. But he didn’t.
Let’s move on . . .
Most struck face
The Irish diaspora has given the
world some great boxers, eg Jack
Thirsty work: the Dempsey, John L Sullivan, Gentleman
strike wore on and Jim Corbett. It’s also given the world
on and on and on . . .a fighter of epic crapulousness. His
Inset: Derek Bell on name is Peter Buckley and he’s a
his harp and, left, StBirmingham Paddy who can claim to
Ivor the Engine be the second worst boxer in the
world EVER.
Last March, Peter (39) retired after
a gruelling 291 pro fight career. It’s
not the amount of fights he has
fought, however, that sets him apart.
(America’s Reggie Strickland fought
more, with 363 bouts.)
Buckley’s fame claim is that out of
those 291 fights he has lost... 249
times. This makes his mush the most
struck face in European history. Only
Strickland has lost more bouts at 276.
On the occasion of his 200th fight,
Buckley got a special showbiz parade
into the ring. Ever the pro, he didn’t
disappoint and carried on his proud,
unbroken losing streak.
In the history of losers, he’s the
David Kenny is greatest and we salute him.
author of ‘Erindipity’ Ding, ding, here’s the bell for the
and ‘Erindipity Rides next heading...
Again’. While an
occasional snippet Most struck bells
from those books
may be included St. Audoen’s Church in Dublin has the
here, this column is oldest bells in the country. They date
all shiny, new back to 1423 and have been struck
material. Any ideas more times than any other set.
or queries are We’re telling you this as an excuse
always welcomed to relate another Bell story.
In 1981 Derek Bell of the Chieftains
dkenny@tribune.ie released a solo album with a picture
www.davekenny.com of himself surrounded by
Sunday Tribune
instruments on the cover. The title is
either exceptionally innocent or
exceptionally wicked: Derek Bell Plays
With Himself.
We favour the latter explanation.
Now, back to trains...
Most struck railway bridge
The figures aren’t out for this year,
but from May 2001 to May 2007, 743
thick lorry drivers ploughed into the
country’s railway bridges.
Most of these strikes happened in
Dublin, with East Wall Bridge being a
favourite target. It was hit 104 times
over 18 years until its height was
increased in 2003. It still holds the
record for being the most struck
bridge in the capital.
The Loop Line Bridge on Customs
House Quay has been struck over 80
times in the past decade. The council
is considering renaming it Loopers’
Line Bridge after the morons who
keep bashing into it.
The Loop Line carries the Dart
which travels to Dun Laoghaire,
which was the final stop on the first
Irish train journey. It was also home
to the...
World’s longest strike
The world’s longest strike started in
February 1939 when a Dun Laoghaire
publican, Mr Downey, gave a barman
(Mr Young) the boot without any
apparent reason.
He then refused the union’s
demand to reinstate him and a strike
was called on 6 March. Despite the
strike, and the unfairness of it all, 400
barmen applied for Young’s job.
The stubborn publican’s business
didn’t suffer despite the picketers. It
actually improved as sightseers
dropped in for a pint and a look at the
strikers. As the years passed, the
story of Downey’s pub gained
international repute and tourists
flocked to it, making him even more
determined not to negotiate.
He stuck to his guns for a mule-
headed 14 years.
Before Downey pulled his last pint
in June 1953, he said that for all he
cared the picketers could stay outside
the pub until the day he died. They
could even march at his funeral, he
declared. They did both.
The world’s longest strike finally
ended on 27 November, 1953 after an
agreement was reached with the new
owner.
What curmudgeonly old Downey’s
motive was for firing Young is still
unclear. Was it for being nice – like
Irish Rail’s new train hosts – to
customers?
We reckon not.
That would have been a plain loco
motive.
Which is where we came in.