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Contents
Power Accountancy
Traffic Light System
Context Determines Intensity
Power Accounting: It’s Crucial to Assess People
Power Protecting: A Skill to Develop
Power Dynamics Principles
1. Power Moves Add Up Over Time (Sum-Up Effect)
2. Power Moves Gather Momentum Over Time (Momentum Effect)
3. Power Patterns Cristallyze And Become Reality (Cementing)
4. Your Level of Power Is Your Level, Minus Theirs (Net Effect)
Jocko Willink: High-Dominance, Low-Warmth Alpha
5. Power Imbalances Change Relationships, Can Turn Win-Win Into Lose-
Win
Social Strategy 101: Calibrating Power
Go Higher Power With Dominant Individuals, Lower With Submissive Ones
Power Negotiation
Re-Empowering Strategies & Techniques
Traffic Lights Strategies
Green: Keep It Coming, Give Back
Yellow: be smooth, ignore, or use “passive resistance”
Orange: Higher intensity, + direct action
Red: enforce boundaries, give out-out warnings, or strategize
Fair Value Power
Power Accountancy
First, we start with “Power Accountancy”.
As a definition:
Power accountancy refers to the attitude and skills to track and analyze
power dynamics, and to leverage that analysis to select the best course of
action to achieve your goals.
Power accountancy first needs a certain level of emotional and social intelligence,
and an awareness of power dynamics -“Power Intelligence“-.
This website and Power University helps you develop both your awareness of
power dynamics and your attitude and skills to influence them.
The first major difference is that some behavior is empowering, while some is
disempowering:
Some behavior is almost meaningless and you might even “let it slip”, while other
is highly disempowering and require immediate corrective action.
The traffic light helps you better understand and analyze power dynamics.
From micro to macro, use it to classify individual power moves, interactions,
relationships, and people.
Empowering: a colleague who drops his other tasks is giving you top priority, and
treating you like a superior with more important things to do.
Disempowering yellow: the boss is supposed to give you tasks, and everyone
already knows that he is officially above you in the power hierarchy.
So there is little loss when he tasks you.
But still, there are degrees of power and status even in structured hierarchies.
So when he tasks you in a curt manner, it shows he has little respect, and that
makes it slightly disempowering.
Sub-communication: “you’re most certainly below me, and I do treat you like
you’re below me”
Disempowering red: as the boss, you are officially above your reports. And you are
supposed to be above them.
A report acting as he can freely task you is highly disempowering for your status,
image, and authority.
It can happen of course that a report has to task you. But to avoid disempowering
the boss, a smart report should be power protecting.
(example in Power University).
If they don’t power protect you, you should take steps.
Sub-communication: “I’m not expending any effort to show respect for your higher
power and official authority as the boss. Maybe that’s because I, or the team in
general, don’t even recognize you as the boss”.
• Empowering you
• Neutral and treating you as equal
• Disempowering you
That tells you everything about how you want to deal with them, and what position
they deserve in your life.
For example:
This is power-protecting.
And it’s part of well-developed people and political skills.
A report who power-protects his boss is more likely to be liked and rewarded by
the boss -and promoted-.
Power protecting works because the general rule is that nobody likes to be
disempowered.
And when you don’t power protect, you disempower others. So failing to power-
protect erodes social capital, harms your relationships, and makes it harder for you
to make friends and allies.
On the other hand, properly power-protecting increases social capital, improves
your relationships, and makes you more friends and allies.
• Ingratiate your superiors: leaders and bosses are very quick to dislike the
subordinates who disempower them. And they want to promote those who
empower them
• Make more friends and allies: people prefer to have as friends and allies those
who power-protect them, rahter than who take power from them
• Make fewer enemies: same as above. Most people don’t like those who
disempower them. And especially not those who are high-value and high-power
• Be smoother and more effective: often in life people aren’t contradicting,
escalating, or denying you a favor based on what you do or say, but based on
them feeling aggressed and disempowered.
They’ll never admit to that, but as proper social strategist, you know better now.
Power University and this website help you to strategically power-protect, without
losing power.
Strategy
Act early to counteract or stop the power-taking behavior from reaching truly
damaging levels.
But if you do nothing to prevent more cuts, you’ll eventually end up lifeless -or, in
our case, powerless and at the bottom of the hierarchy-.
As an example of a progression of death by a thousand cuts, imagine this social exchange:
�. He takes the lead + dominant introduction: comes to you first, energetically shakes
your hand, speaks loudly, look at you straight in the eyes, slightly aggressive. You remain
neutral instead (losing out because of the net effect)
�. He leads the conversation, asks “where are you from”: you comply, give him what he
wants, without asking anything back. You relinquish any leadership on the interaction
�. He makes a slightly power-taking joke about your nationality: for example “oh we
have Lucio Corleone here, watch out for him guys”, and you laugh at it
�. You propose place X to go to, he says that “only losers go there” and you should all
go to Y place: people start seeing him as the leader, so they laugh at his joke and prefer
going along with his leadership
And you can then have even more cuts in the future:
• Cut 5, you arrive to the restaurants, he tells you where to sit because he
wants someone else close to him: now he takes one notch higher with a more
disempowering power move -an orange-.
After all the yellows, the orange is the final nail in your coffin. You’re officially a
nobody in the group. Since you never took action, it’s difficult for you to buck the
trend now because the reality has “cemented”. And the reality is that he’s above
you, and that you’re a low-status member of the group.
Forget women in that group liking you, or guys wanting to befriend you.
And with momentum, it becomes harder to change the dynamics later on.
Strategy
Act early, stop their momentum, or build your own momentum
For example, a string of power-taking power moves that you don’t correct for
crystallizes the reality of you being lower power and lower status.
The aggressor/power mover instead ends being above you in the power hierarchy.
This is very important for your success and your life as well.
And it’s the reason why Power University can be so life-changing: it helps you
prevent getting stuck at the bottom.
Strategy
Act early, act resolutely, correct power-taking patterns so you don’t end up lower
down.
Mindset
Always be ready to re-negotiate a more favorable power level.
Chart:
Remember that social exchanges work over two channels: power, and warmth.
�. Signal of friendliness
�. Signal of being an ally on your side (VS a neutral or enemy force)
�. Social balm (helps smooth things over)
When warmth is low, people are left wondering whether one is friendly or foe, and
that raises the stakes of the power accountancy.
But even if you generally know someone is not an enemy, low warmth
comparatively increases the importance of power and dominance.
And the “net effect” increases with individuals who are high power but low in
warmth because your friendliness can be easily misread as submissiveness and/or
kissing up to the powerful.
Jocko does not thank the interviewer for the effort he expended to promoting his
book, and barely reacts to his joke.
If the interviewer had been any friendlier and warmer, he’d have lost a lot of power.
The interviewer didn’t lose much power though because he delivered his joke
neutrally and with little warmth.
And what about those who are actively trying to dominate you?
Then it’s even more necessary to dial down your warmth, because friendliness
with aggressive people equals submissiveness.
As a general rule:
You can lose your status as an equal if you let too many power-taking actions go
unchecked.
Over time, people also lose respect for you if you let them disempower you. They
might start thinking of you as unworthy of them.
And you can hardly have a win-win of equals when one party constantly acts
higher power than you.
Strategy
Back to the basics: don’t let people disempower you, stand up for your rights, and
take action to re-empower yourself.
This is a power chart of two people with different baseline power who first meet
each other.
In simpler terms, imagine you meet a more dominant individual (black) while you
keep behaving as you usually do (lower dominance compared to him):
If you don’t understand the chart, please read how a candlestick chart works
In the chart, from the start, the other guy behaves and talks more dominantly.
And if you don’t adapt, you keep losing power over the next few backs and forth
until the net result cements with you being “below” him.
As a general rule:
The individual who is or behaves more dominant ends up being “above” in the
1:1 relationship, and higher status in the group’s hierarchy.
So the first rule of calibrating is to increase your power when dealing with more
dominant individuals.
IF they are also low-warmth, then it’s often a good idea to also decrease your own
warmth (heads up: it’s possible to be warm without losing power but it’s more
advanced).
However, if you want the next level, then calibration and flexibility are the way to
go.
We’ve already seen the costs of not adapting to more dominant, potentially lower-
warmth individuals.
Increasing your warmth and friendliness is especially good if you’re a naturally very
dominant or imposing guy, and you don’t want to come across as a power
challenge with people who have a higher rank than you have (example: a boss at
work).
Power Negotiation
Remember:
Power is a negotiation and you’re sitting at that negotiation table.
You also decide what level of power and status you have.
As in this chart:
Let’s take the same example we saw earlier and review how a higher power
individual handles it:
2. He takes the lead of the conversation, asks “where are you from” with a
dominant attitude
You, re-empowering self-defense 2: avoid 100% compliance. For example say
that you’re a world citizen or that it’s “difficult to say”, or that you “live in X, but
travel around”.
If you answer, you ask him a question back so that it’s not just you answering, but
also asking.
Effect: Since you either avoid submitting or turn it into a give & take, you now go
into power-positive territory.
So you’d say something like “all cool man, glad we could clarify, you seem like a
cool guy”.
That being reminded, this paragraph gives you a general idea to strategize around
the traffic light system:
Seek to Re-Empower
Power hogging can be fair in some situations.
And plenty of people can be duped into giving more and more.
TPM does not endorse manipulating and taking advantage of others as much as
you can.
But we also seek to analyze things morally, for what they are.
And there are practical reasons for this strategy.
Why so?
Because:
• High power and smart people don’t usually keep on giving to those who just
take, so the “hogging” strategy mostly brings powerless and low-value people
around you
• Eagles feel no need to hog, from a self-development perspective, you
generally want an antifragile ego without needing the validation of hunchmen,
brown-nosers and (low-value) admirers
• Win-win of equals tend to make for larger pies: hogging partains to
relationships of non-equals. And the bigger pies grow when you exchange with
your equals, not with the fawners
Paradoxically, they can be more challenging because they require more awareness
to spot them, and more social skills to deal with them.
Such as, you take note of the power move, but do little or nothing.
• Ignore him, and avoid greeting him first. Greeting someone first is a way of
sub-communicating “I’m really happy to see you”. Never greet an asshole or
power-taker first -or only do so in a perfunctory, quick and neutral fashion”
• Use neutral tonality: saying “pleasure meeting you” or “cool” with a flat
tonality removes much of the warmth and friendliness of those words. You can
avoid any form of “good seeing you” and just say “hey man” instead
• Don “neutral faces”, without smiles. Big smiles upon meeting or talking sub-
communicate “it’s really a pleasure meeting you”. Instead, use an obviously fake,
tight-lipped smile, or don’t smile at all. Looking away while greeting is a more
extreme way of removing all warmth (example later)
This approach is compatible with one of the fundamental laws of power, and can
be very effective.
If you execute it well and if you have some status the power taker will expend
effort on you to get some more friendly signals.
When that happens, you successfully turned the power tables.
Proactive re-empowering
For example:
• Enforce your boundaries directly: for example “I don’t appreciate this tone”,
or “this is very rude, I have no intention of accepting this tone”
• Use an assertive format:
• Give an out-out: see the post “dealing with break-up threats” for examples
• Let it slip publcily, ask for private conversation: this is very good in work
situations with higher rank superios.
• Machiavellian strategizing: it can happen that you might not have have the power
to do much in some situations. That’s the time to strategize, either for future encounters,
As a quick reminder for value: when you over-sell yourself or act entitled, you
market yourself above fair value. That can work sometimes to get more. But it also
often rubs people the wrong way.
Especially those who know or who can assess the “true” value.
So as general rules:
• Act closer to your power in formal hierarchies: when power and status are
set, you want to act closer to your level of recognized power.
Such as, act like you’ve got power on the people below you, and power-protect
with the people above you.
The concept of “fair value power” is one of the most foundational aspects of social
effectiveness.
Some guys who first approach power dynamics have a mindset that “more
dominant and more power is always better”.
Of course there is a place and time for “as much power as you can have”.
But that is obviously not the best approach as your baseline behavior because
“always more dominant” usually:
• Piss off the wrong people who have more power and authority than you have
• Make you a lot of uneccesary enemies
• Erodes social capital
• Builds resentment
The most successful ones across the board instead tend to have a baseline of high-
power and high-warmth, and calibrate to the situation.
This is a preview from Power University. Join the program for the full
version.
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