I absolutely adore Autumn.

The way leaves fall off the trees, spinning and waltzing down to earth, the redness of the apples
on the tree, that perfectly explain the reason Snow White bit into it without thinking a moment
and the autumn smell of cold in the air. No wonder why I love this-I was born right a week into
beginning of the season.
I despise Autumn.
The way it’s absolutely cold at home because it’s too early to turn on the heating yet, the cause
of flu and cold that appear if your immune system wasn’t ready for it and all the responsibilities
that appear when the fucking Autumn starts like work, universities, college, schools. Even kids
in kindergarten get exhausted and wish for the returning of absolutely careless, fun and warm
Summer when sleepily getting ready in the morning.
I love Autumn.
It brings me happy moments of my life back into reality. Stuff like fragile, crunchy leaves under
my shoes, warm coffee in a plastic cup even if I am really not a fan of drinking from it, I’m more
of an actual cup fan. We don’t really celebrate Halloween out here, but no one said I can’t
prepare my house for it. Pumpkins, bats, spider and even my cat always remind me of everything
that I love about Autumn.
I fear Autumn.
I have no clue if I’m just going slightly crazier when the Autumn comes or is it just the thing that
appears, but behind all the happiness with pumpkins, cats, coffee, pretty leaves and stuff I hear
knocking. Something keeps knocking somewhere in the house for couple of times and disappears
when I start paying attention to it. Home spirit? Ghost? Something that might hurt me? No idea.
Thankfully, I have better things to do than sit an entire day like a hunting hound and wait until
something knocks again. Until cups and objects don’t get thrown into my head and I don’t get
bothered by nightmares in the night between college, I would consider to just avoid thoughts
about sounds and sound away my thoughts with music or something else.
My cat.
I absolutely adore her. Her running around the house, having fun, coming to me for attention
even in really bad moments when I am too busy to pay attention to her. She doesn’t understand
the phrase “No, I love you, but I am recording or writing” and immediately goes away with the
most upset expression a cat could possibly show. Yet, when I can, I always pay attention to her,
cuddle and give her treats.
She hears knocking as well and always turns her head to the direction of where it possibly could
be. And that way I can see that something knocked again even when my ears are closed shut. I
think she dislikes the unknown knocks just the same way as I do. She sure as fuck doesn’t help
with ignoring it tho.