The Drizzle that Rained like Singing Maggots

by Tom Shrikere

Joshua Bishop was thinking about Jessica Snozcumber

again. Jessica was a cold-blooded giant with pink lips and
fluffy hands.

Joshua walked over to the window and reflected on his

pretty surroundings. He had always loved chilly Plymouth
with its slippery, sticky swamps. It was a place that
encouraged his tendency to feel afraid.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It

was the a cold-blooded figure of Jessica Snozcumber.

Joshua gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was an

intuitive, predatory, cocoa drinker with charming lips and tall
hands. His friends saw him as a deep, damaged doctor.
Once, he had even rescued an old old lady from a burning
building.

But not even an intuitive person who had once rescued an

old old lady from a burning building, was prepared for what
Jessica had in store today.

The drizzle rained like singing maggots, making Joshua

stable. Joshua grabbed a warped record that had been
strewn nearby; he massaged it with his fingers.

As Joshua stepped outside and Jessica came closer, he

could see the knowledgeable glint in her eye.

"I am here because I want affection," Jessica bellowed, in a

caring tone. She slammed her fist against Joshua's chest,
with the force of 8760 koalas. "I frigging love you, Joshua
Bishop."
Joshua looked back, even more stable and still fingering the
warped record. "Jessica, I am your father," he replied.

They looked at each other with puzzled feelings, like two

orange, old owls loving at a very lovable Halloween party,
which had flute music playing in the background and two
wild uncles drinking to the beat.

Suddenly, Jessica lunged forward and tried to punch Joshua

in the face. Quickly, Joshua grabbed the warped record and
brought it down on Jessica's skull.

Jessica's pink lips trembled and her fluffy hands wobbled.

She looked ecstatic, her body raw like a new, narrow
newspaper.

Then she let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the
ground. Moments later Jessica Snozcumber was dead.

Joshua Bishop went back inside and made himself a nice

mug of cocoa.