Friday Festival Speech:

Ana: Hello everyone! I’m Ana, the media manager of the National English Honor Society,

Karla: And I’m Karla, the president.

Ana: We’re here to discuss a very grave and important issue. See, it has come to our attention that some
people still don’t know [gasp] that the NEHS is the greatest honor society of them all! Some people
[scoffs] do not seem to quite grasp the nature of our superiority over all other clubs. In fact, I might
even go as far as to say that some people are surprised that we are working hard to share our
greatness, to expand and grow as the reigning club, the holy counsel chosen by the heavens, the
beacon of hope extending over the dark, dangerous sea of the other clubs. [spits it out]. WE WILL
CRUSH—

Karla: [quickly covers Ana’s mouth with her hand] —Nothing! Being, as we are, so naturally better than
the rest of you peasants, we needn’t even raise a hand. With power and elegance, we will float above
the rabble and show you what it truly means to be worthy. [Pause]

[Clapping hands together.] Now, to all of you non-believers out there, I hear you question our divine
power. To that, I say… [genuinely confused] why? Who even stands a chance at challenging us? The
art honor society? Pah! Go paint another flower, I’m sure that’ll solve our problems.

Ana: [Whispering/mouthing] (Sorry…)

Karla: The social studies honor society? [Scoffs] Please. Let me ask you something, how would you
communicate with people, learn from them and study them…[whispering] without language?
[pause] Yeah, I thought so.

Ana: What about the “business professionals of America”? The BPA? Yeah, with all their beats per
minute, they still can’t beat the power of english. Moving money around hardly matters if no one
understands what you’re doing.

Karla: [Whispers] (Sorry…)

Ana: And the Mu Alpha Theta. The MAT! You forgot the last ‘h’ for math, but it's fine. After all, math is
what makes the world go round! It holds up buildings and bridges and…stuff. And yet…[slow
smile] How did you come to learn all of these important principles? Absorbed them through
osmosis? Or did you, perhaps, inherit some…written principles from ancient mathematicians?

In fact, that goes for all the rest of you! Tell me, how do you communicate? How do you learn
amongst yourselves? How do you share your ideas, your thoughts, your emotions? [dystopian
dictator voice] You are all a part of us. You are all dependent on us. We are one, we are all—

Karla: Then what about spanish? Language to language, head to head. [Raising voice] With 171,476,
which language has the most words to serve your every need? And reaching up 1.5 billion, who has
the most speakers in the world?
Together: We are the rulers! The dominant language in international communication! We are the superior
club!

Karla: Knowing this, what sane person would knowingly sign up for an inferior club? [pause] That’s
right, no one! Sign-up for NEHS.

Ana: We’ll destroy your enemies!

Karla: We will respectfully subdue them.

Ana: We’ll beat them to a pulp!

Karla: We will graciously control them.

Ana: We’ll control all communication.

Karla: We will learn about communication.

Ana: In all honesty, if you love reading, writing, or even speaking, consider giving us a chance.

Together: Thank you.